Cortex

Cortex 35: An Episode Out of Time 2: Out of Timer

 

  so listen ian has found the perfect new [TS]

  game for you [TS]

  oh yes what is it so you know in the [TS]

  past you spoken about the fact that you [TS]

  like games that feel like work you know [TS]

  like you like truck simulator 2 [TS]

  factorial like work games [TS]

  yeah their work simulator games in my [TS]

  mind what we found the ultimate cgpgrey [TS]

  work simulator is called youtubers life [TS]

  you to his life is the ultimate life [TS]

  simulation tycoon via game in which you [TS]

  become the world's greatest video [TS]

  blogger in history edit videos [TS]

  expand the amount of fans and turn [TS]

  yourself into a wealthy fellow that [TS]

  sounds horrible [TS]

  super day at work imitates life imitates [TS]

  work imitates life that little little [TS]

  too close to home [TS]

  the screenshots are amazing because they [TS]

  show a bedroom with an unmade bed and [TS]

  somebody working on a computer [TS]

  remarkably by total coincidence i [TS]

  watched PewDiePie do a playthrough of [TS]

  YouTube simulator just yesterday [TS]

  oh really it showed up in that here's [TS]

  what YouTube thinks you should watch [TS]

  section they were really write the right [TS]

  like that sometimes that YouTube thing [TS]

  freaks me out because they're like oh [TS]

  yeah i know i would like to see that [TS]

  video thank you so much YouTube right [TS]

  well this this one strike me as [TS]

  particularly funny because it's it's i [TS]

  am not subscribed to PewDiePie i have [TS]

  probably watched fewer than five maybe [TS]

  ten of his videos ever and but youtube [TS]

  just knows right there little algorithms [TS]

  their data algorithms simply know hey [TS]

  we're going to suggest you a peopie [TS]

  video that you cannot possibly resist on [TS]

  clicking and they were correct and i [TS]

  clicked it and i watched it and they [TS]

  were right it was very entertaining [TS]

  video but what do you think of youtubers [TS]

  life I will never play a game like that [TS]

  it looks it looks terrible it looks like [TS]

  the kind of work simulator that I hate [TS]

  which is not really work simulator it's [TS]

  just the game randomly rewarding you at [TS]

  times with stuff i don't know I I have [TS]

  no interest in ever playing that game [TS]

  but i can recommend PewDiePie's video [TS]

  where he plays that game like he's very [TS]

  good [TS]

  he's very funny and he turns it into a [TS]

  bizarre meta commentary on his own life [TS]

  as a youtuber so of course he ends up [TS]

  making a little character that looks [TS]

  just like him and just makes all of [TS]

  these comments about feeding the Machine [TS]

  and gotta keep going there's a reason [TS]

  that guys number one youtuber I wouldn't [TS]

  watch all these videos they're not all [TS]

  for me but anybody who thinks he's just [TS]

  an idiot playing video games in his room [TS]

  like you don't understand what this man [TS]

  is doing [TS]

  you don't understand what he's doing [TS]

  when we talk about that talent thing and [TS]

  when we were talking about a long time [TS]

  ago about having that spark and we use [TS]

  them k PhD is a an example of that from [TS]

  his first video right right little [TS]

  little tiny twelve-year-old mkbhd yeah [TS]

  PewDiePie doesn't really have a sparky [TS]

  has a fire [TS]

  yeah like that man there's there is no [TS]

  doubt absolutely no doubt whether you [TS]

  don't like these videos are not you [TS]

  cannot deny that they are well made [TS]

  their well made and that he is just [TS]

  engaging I'm engaging in this way that [TS]

  is difficult to describe [TS]

  yep yes really youtube algorithms you [TS]

  know you know what I wanted even and I [TS]

  didn't know what I wanted and what I [TS]

  wanted was watching the number one [TS]

  youtuber play youtube simulation game [TS]

  this is an episode out of time [TS]

  indeed it is Mike because from my [TS]

  perspective this is insanity because i [TS]

  just spoke to you yesterday we did we [TS]

  just did an episode yesterday we did our [TS]

  cortex versuri episode yesterday for [TS]

  people who are interested in the cortex [TS]

  annuity of the show [TS]

  I'm so proud of you right now but then [TS]

  again in service and this episode you [TS]

  are probably listening to sometime in [TS]

  july maybe august i don't even know [TS]

  where this is going to happen so people [TS]

  will be listening to this at some point [TS]

  in the late summer [TS]

  mhm months after we are recording it yep [TS]

  so this is what will be passed me [TS]

  talking to you after what is intended to [TS]

  be a very long very busy very unusual [TS]

  summer for me which is part of the [TS]

  reason why [TS]

  you're recording this well ahead of time [TS]

  but it makes the verb usage here seem [TS]

  very strange like in the future i will [TS]

  have had done things that we will [TS]

  certainly have had already talked about [TS]

  Anya shows we will record but from the [TS]

  perspective of people listening we've [TS]

  already recorded and they have already [TS]

  listened to because it's very confusing [TS]

  because in theory now looking to the [TS]

  future so that people can judge our [TS]

  predictions we have participated in real [TS]

  icon to gether right we will have been [TS]

  to relay con you have been to VidCon i [TS]

  will have been to VidCon we will is [TS]

  recorded off first in-person episode of [TS]

  cortex [TS]

  that's right as well and now we are [TS]

  approaching the second annual court xmas [TS]

  very confusing it is all very confusing [TS]

  and the very fact that i'm going to [TS]

  relay khan and the very fact that i'm [TS]

  going to VidCon are things that i have [TS]

  stated publicly nowhere at this stage [TS]

  which is what makes it all the more [TS]

  exciting dimension [TS]

  it's like a fun little secret at this [TS]

  moment I i may not even mention anything [TS]

  about being at VidCon until after I have [TS]

  left I don't know we'll have to see him [TS]

  listener will already know if I did or [TS]

  didn't yep haha but that might be a [TS]

  surprise so yeah it's it's just it's a [TS]

  strange thing but we are trying to plan [TS]

  in advance for what is going to be a a [TS]

  busy summer so the reason we are [TS]

  recording this is because there's going [TS]

  to be just a ton of stuff going on and I [TS]

  know that later in the summer in [TS]

  addition to all of this crazy business [TS]

  stuff i also have a ton of family stuff [TS]

  that I'm doing later in the summer so [TS]

  this very morning for this episode I was [TS]

  actually telling up [TS]

  what is the theoretical number of [TS]

  flights that I am taking this summer and [TS]

  I haven't bought them that there's a [TS]

  there's a few events in a few things [TS]

  that are still a bit uncertain but i [TS]

  will be taking no fewer than eight and [TS]

  no more than 14 flights this summer [TS]

  why [TS]

  my blood yeah I know it's it is quite a [TS]

  lot but that is high a little while ago [TS]

  I said Mike we need it we need to talk [TS]

  about the summer cortex schedule and [TS]

  that is why this episode is happening [TS]

  right now also because mean you have [TS]

  been for something like this already so [TS]

  last year you were away for a lot of the [TS]

  summer and we didn't prepare for it and [TS]

  it was a nightmare yet last summer last [TS]

  summer was a bit of a disaster and very [TS]

  many ways for me probably one of the [TS]

  biggest ways was that somehow i don't [TS]

  really know how but you convinced me not [TS]

  only where we going to launch cortex [TS]

  last summer but we're also going to be [TS]

  doing weekly episodes which was insanity [TS]

  I don't know how you convinced me of [TS]

  this i don't know why past me would have [TS]

  agreed to such a thing but how was way [TS]

  way too many episodes to be doing at [TS]

  once but we tried and then we had to try [TS]

  and squeeze it into a schedule and you [TS]

  are on standby flights arriving at we're [TS]

  days it was it was a nightmare so we [TS]

  also we have learned together and are [TS]

  working together over the last year or [TS]

  so and we are now recording an episode [TS]

  about time [TS]

  yes that is what this episode is but [TS]

  there is an interesting lesson in there [TS]

  i think about the whole idea of this [TS]

  thing existing is that we are [TS]

  collaborating better now than we have [TS]

  before because we now understand the [TS]

  habits and patterns of each other and we [TS]

  are working to respect those so I know [TS]

  that you'll be traveling and you know [TS]

  that I want an episode right with with [TS]

  what Mike is trying to say here [TS]

  listeners is a respected Mike knows that [TS]

  i want a bunch of time off this summer [TS]

  not the michael has a bunch of episodes [TS]

  that summer we have these mutually [TS]

  incompatible desires and so we have [TS]

  compromised on one court xmas there was [TS]

  going to be one fewer episode of cortex [TS]

  the summer and also doing this episode [TS]

  code in advance so this is the thing [TS]

  this is the compromise that we have come [TS]

  to this is another one of those CEO to [TS]

  CEO discussions that we had that we've [TS]

  mentioned in the past which again I will [TS]

  underscore the importance of anybody who [TS]

  is self-employed working with [TS]

  self-employed people that it is very [TS]

  very useful to be able to have these [TS]

  conversations so useful so useful and we [TS]

  were able to come to an agreement [TS]

  because I wanted more episodes then [TS]

  we're doing and you wanted more time [TS]

  often you have so we can take me to a [TS]

  compromise [TS]

  uh-huh yes we did come to a compromise [TS]

  because as we may discuss later in the [TS]

  episode in theory i would just like the [TS]

  whole summer off i would like the whole [TS]

  summer off to LA and I can't eat right [TS]

  that's not how it looks right but that's [TS]

  what I mean right here and that is there [TS]

  are all of these various constraints and [TS]

  things in life i do also just want to [TS]

  again reiterate your point to anybody [TS]

  listening who is self-employed works [TS]

  with the people I i really think if you [TS]

  can try to introduce the the explicit [TS]

  language like that can we will say like [TS]

  we are talking CEO to co now like do [TS]

  that as a mode shift when you're having [TS]

  a business conversation with someone it [TS]

  is hard to express how much easier and [TS]

  clearer that makes things it really [TS]

  really does [TS]

  I i highly highly recommend anybody [TS]

  working with other people like trying to [TS]

  do that try to institute that as a [TS]

  company culture in both of your [TS]

  company's it's extraordinarily [TS]

  beneficial and just makes things much [TS]

  easier but yeah so in addition to this [TS]

  being a bit of a negotiation between the [TS]

  two of us [TS]

  this is also one of these cases for me [TS]

  where it's important to know yourself [TS]

  and i found myself as this summer was [TS]

  approaching really constantly thinking [TS]

  back towards last summer and just [TS]

  realizing how last summer was a bit of a [TS]

  disaster across all fronts like this [TS]

  summer I had a bunch of family [TS]

  responsibilities and also about [TS]

  of work responsibilities so there was [TS]

  cortex is also the Helena podcast is [TS]

  also the youtube videos that I did [TS]

  there's some other business stuff and [TS]

  also a bunch of family things and last [TS]

  summer i just did a frankly terrible job [TS]

  of trying to manage all of those things [TS]

  and as a result i had a kind of grumpy [TS]

  summer I felt that I was not doing [TS]

  necessarily really great with a lot of [TS]

  the business side of things and then I [TS]

  also felt that I wasn't doing really [TS]

  great with a lot of the family [TS]

  responsibilities like it was just torn [TS]

  between these two different worlds and [TS]

  not being able to give either that the [TS]

  time and the mental energy that they [TS]

  required and so I think this is this is [TS]

  such an important skill in life is to be [TS]

  able to look on a thing objectively [TS]

  evaluate yourself on it to recognize oh [TS]

  I didn't do very well last summer with [TS]

  these kinds of things and then think [TS]

  forward to the Future about what are the [TS]

  structural changes that can be done to [TS]

  improve the situation and so reducing [TS]

  the number of cortex episodes by one and [TS]

  also doing one in advance like we're [TS]

  doing now like that is one thing that is [TS]

  definitely happening and i'm doing a [TS]

  similar thing with hello internet i [TS]

  think one maybe two i still have to [TS]

  finalize it but there's going to be a [TS]

  few fewer episodes than would otherwise [TS]

  be normal [TS]

  over the course of the year during the [TS]

  summer and i'm also making a conscious [TS]

  decision like I do most summers to [TS]

  intentionally do one fewer video then in [TS]

  theory would come out over the same [TS]

  three-month span if i was working [TS]

  another point in the year and I feel [TS]

  like this is one of those times where [TS]

  well i have a bunch of things to do this [TS]

  summer in particular is going to be [TS]

  filled with a huge amount of social time [TS]

  and family time like I always find that [TS]

  very energy-intensive and so i am not [TS]

  like last year going to think i can just [TS]

  truck through this like normal i'm just [TS]

  i'm just going to keep doing all the [TS]

  amount of work that I normally do and [TS]

  i'm also going to have all of these [TS]

  other responsibilities [TS]

  and everything is going to be fine so no [TS]

  I'm going to learn from last year's [TS]

  experience and intentionally turn down [TS]

  the work dial so that hopefully the [TS]

  whole of the summer goes more smoothly [TS]

  than it did last time this episode of [TS]

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  terms and conditions apply thank you so [TS]

  much to Casper for their support of this [TS]

  show in the balance of all of that is [TS]

  time off right now understanding that [TS]

  you should be putting your efforts into [TS]

  the right places one of those places [TS]

  should be time off because if you work [TS]

  in [TS]

  Anthony you get time off and you get [TS]

  time off because there's a very good [TS]

  reason because everybody needs brakes [TS]

  right and in more traditional companies [TS]

  everybody takes it and it's all done and [TS]

  like when the company that I worked at [TS]

  you had to write it wasn't even a joke [TS]

  like this was just the thing you had to [TS]

  do and one of those brakes had to be two [TS]

  weeks right later like all things that [TS]

  like you had to do them and I know a lot [TS]

  more kind of new companies these days [TS]

  there are like these trends which on the [TS]

  face of it seemed quite good but [TS]

  actually work out to not be too great [TS]

  like unlimited vacation time you [TS]

  familiar with this [TS]

  oh man I i love i love unlimited [TS]

  vacation time I companies because this [TS]

  to me is is the embodiment of corporate [TS]

  evil [TS]

  yep but so for listeners who may be [TS]

  unaware this is a trend I feel like over [TS]

  the past few years of companies saying [TS]

  there is an unlimited amount of vacation [TS]

  time for you to take you take as much as [TS]

  you feel that you need because we the [TS]

  company we love you and we want you to [TS]

  be happy and it sounds great and I think [TS]

  especially for people walking out of [TS]

  university and into their first job like [TS]

  oh this sounds like an amazing bonus but [TS]

  the end result is that without knowing [TS]

  how much vacation time is ok to take [TS]

  that people who work at companies that [TS]

  give unlimited vacation time essentially [TS]

  take no vacation time that they can [TS]

  never take time off because everybody [TS]

  has this paranoid feeling about how much [TS]

  time is appropriate to take off when is [TS]

  it okay i don't understand what the [TS]

  boundaries are and so yeah it's just is [TS]

  total total corporate evil to do that [TS]

  kind of thing but it is very important [TS]

  to make sure that you do it and that [TS]

  like unlimited vacation time in a [TS]

  strange way is exactly the way that mean [TS]

  you live our lives in and with so many [TS]

  self-employed people right it's like I [TS]

  can take as much time off as I want [TS]

  because I make I call the shots but what [TS]

  happens is i think man right here so I [TS]

  am I have become better and better maybe [TS]

  in the last year [TS]

  about taking some breaks but one of the [TS]

  things that I do which is good and bad [TS]

  as a lot of those brakes have some kind [TS]

  of what component in them one that helps [TS]

  me justify a lot of it to myself and you [TS]

  know i'm definitely not working as much [TS]

  as usual in those scenarios but there is [TS]

  more relaxation time occurring than [TS]

  usual as I laughing before because the [TS]

  comparison between unlimited vacation [TS]

  time companies and self-employment is [TS]

  just is perfectly spot-on and again in [TS]

  the into thinking about my upcoming [TS]

  summer which will have passed by the [TS]

  time people are listening to this and [TS]

  thinking about my last summer that's [TS]

  going on and thinking about just how I [TS]

  spend my working time I am so very much [TS]

  aware that in the past two years [TS]

  this is also an area that i have been [TS]

  just very bad at is taking time off and [TS]

  I recognize that as one of these things [TS]

  that I want to try to improve and I want [TS]

  to try to get better at but it is in no [TS]

  small part because there is a bit of a [TS]

  lull this feeling of like Oh in theory i [TS]

  could take any day off but you never [TS]

  want to take any particular day off [TS]

  because there's always stuff to do when [TS]

  you're self-employed this is this is the [TS]

  downside that we talked about it being [TS]

  self-employed that is very hard for the [TS]

  job to leave your mind or for you to [TS]

  leave the job it's always it's always [TS]

  there there's always stuff that you can [TS]

  do and you know I'll i look and look [TS]

  back quite fondly on my time as a [TS]

  teacher when you had those brakes and [TS]

  there is stuff to do during the breaks [TS]

  like I was always working on side [TS]

  projects or whatever but there was a way [TS]

  that you could genuinely completely [TS]

  leave the job behind for regular [TS]

  stretches of time and that was without [TS]

  doubt hugely mentally beneficial to do [TS]

  such a thing and i particularly love the [TS]

  UK schedule for teachers which is very [TS]

  different from in america in america you [TS]

  usually have a one really big long [TS]

  summer and a few short breaks throughout [TS]

  the year but in the UK it's like six [TS]

  weeks of teaching and then one week off [TS]

  six weeks of teaching two weeks off six [TS]

  weeks of [TS]

  g one week off it's an amazing amazing [TS]

  schedule that I think I need to move [TS]

  closer to that in the future because my [TS]

  current schedule of iwork almost every [TS]

  day some amount after probably pretty [TS]

  close to two years of doing that is like [TS]

  now this needs this needs to change this [TS]

  is a thing that I need to improve upon [TS]

  and it is one of the areas in which i [TS]

  have not been so great time office [TS]

  interest vacations though no it's not [TS]

  just vacations i'm thinking of vacations [TS]

  because that is the area in which i have [TS]

  been the worst at you and I'm also [TS]

  thinking about that because I am I keep [TS]

  comparing that oh this summer would be a [TS]

  lot easier if I could just have it be [TS]

  like my summers were when I was a [TS]

  teacher that's why I'm thinking about [TS]

  vacations but i have been much better [TS]

  this past year in particular of making a [TS]

  really conscious effort that no work [TS]

  happens on Saturdays so I have [TS]

  Saturday's blocked off in my calendar as [TS]

  just no workdays think nothing's going [TS]

  to happen here [TS]

  you know i'm spending time on my own i'm [TS]

  spending time with my wife but i'm going [TS]

  to have one really dedicated day out of [TS]

  the week that i know i'm not going to [TS]

  work on that day and simply doing that [TS]

  has been much more helpful like to to [TS]

  really treat that day [TS]

  respectfully like to not just blow it [TS]

  off and it's very easy to do some [TS]

  low-level work but like no no I'm very [TS]

  serious about this [TS]

  it's again it's very funny in this way [TS]

  like when you are something you have to [TS]

  be quite disciplined with this kind of [TS]

  stuff that you have to take time off [TS]

  really seriously [TS]

  otherwise you won't do it and that is a [TS]

  thing that has has worked for me but [TS]

  like what is it that you do in in your [TS]

  schedule with regards to time off [TS]

  because you have all these shows that [TS]

  you record and it seems like you record [TS]

  shows constantly from my perspective I [TS]

  mean do you have a day in your schedule [TS]

  that is perfectly clear do you do [TS]

  something similar or how does it work [TS]

  for you know haha like well yes and no [TS]

  okay i have no [TS]

  today that is like absolutely no work [TS]

  like categorically none [TS]

  weekends are low to none mm and and that [TS]

  is a regular thing for me there might be [TS]

  some low-level work that I do on a [TS]

  Sunday there might be something like [TS]

  just bits and bobs that pop up that I [TS]

  take care of but it's not one or the [TS]

  other for me on weekends but it tends to [TS]

  be that they are like significantly [TS]

  lower work at a point where it feels [TS]

  like I'm not working [TS]

  who's right but I know there's always [TS]

  stuff going on because our companies are [TS]

  very different from mine runs with [TS]

  people right and some and I like to be [TS]

  available for people if they need me [TS]

  so it is a different scenarios set up [TS]

  slightly differently but I'm totally [TS]

  happy with that I wouldn't want to work [TS]

  any other way and that doesn't have to [TS]

  be any people involved but you know but [TS]

  I wanted there to be that there would [TS]

  have been a way to to run real and very [TS]

  differently than the way that we run it [TS]

  we didn't have to create a slight group [TS]

  that had every hosting for dinner [TS]

  we just didn't have to do any of that [TS]

  you know because that makes everybody [TS]

  much more available to each other so it [TS]

  has 11 requirements to that but that's [TS]

  the way that I like to run my business [TS]

  but what I do is in my theme at the year [TS]

  of less i have two days every two weeks [TS]

  i mentioned this many times where there [TS]

  is way less work and also one week where [TS]

  there is just less work anyway yeah like [TS]

  less shows recording I is specifically [TS]

  stack one week heavier than the other [TS]

  blue and i'm running some side projects [TS]

  through some of that stuff too but it [TS]

  doesn't feel so much like work and like [TS]

  you know the way that you do that and [TS]

  one thing that I'm very mindful of is [TS]

  taking many breaks throughout the day [TS]

  that is something that I put a lot of [TS]

  focus on making sure that I do and [TS]

  working with a predominantly us audience [TS]

  means that's very possible because there [TS]

  are a lot of people that are asleep for [TS]

  the majority of my morning and afternoon [TS]

  so I'm able to do work that is isolated [TS]

  during that time where I'm able to take [TS]

  care of things that people want a hug me [TS]

  for I'm able to take care of things [TS]

  where i can send stuff to people and [TS]

  they won't get back to me immediately [TS]

  and then I'm also able to relax a little [TS]

  bit before working in the evening [TS]

  yeah I think that's I think that's good [TS]

  and it's sort of along this the same [TS]

  lines we are talking about many breaks [TS]

  one of the behaviors i have been trying [TS]

  to be much more conscious about is [TS]

  deciding when work isn't happening at [TS]

  particular times and as I mentioned [TS]

  before [TS]

  for me the afternoons are always my [TS]

  least productive time and while i have [TS]

  been bad about taking a dedicated time [TS]

  off like a vacation [TS]

  one other thing that I have gotten much [TS]

  much better at is is really accepting [TS]

  the afternoons as my unproductive time [TS]

  and deciding to not feel the guilt of [TS]

  there are things that you could be [TS]

  working on right now and to say instead [TS]

  know i'm i am accepting that this is low [TS]

  productivity time for me and if in the [TS]

  afternoon i want to sit down and I want [TS]

  to watch a couple episodes of TV or I [TS]

  just want to read a book or something [TS]

  that is fine because this is the time of [TS]

  day when it makes most sense to do that [TS]

  when you'd be the least effective [TS]

  working on something else anyway and you [TS]

  might as well take this as your down [TS]

  time I try and do this and I do this I [TS]

  still struggle with it the M and funnily [TS]

  enough time so I struggle with it the [TS]

  most also times when i need it the most [TS]

  what do you mean you needed the most [TS]

  so when when I have a lot on my mind so [TS]

  when I have a lot going on when I'm very [TS]

  busy [TS]

  it makes me feel overwhelmed and when I [TS]

  feel overwhelmed I usually need to take [TS]

  more breaks because typically when I [TS]

  have that overwhelmed feeling it's not [TS]

  as bad as I think it is and what will [TS]

  usually happen in [TS]

  is adina will come home and I will be in [TS]

  a bad mood like usually not angry but [TS]

  upset like I feel upset won't be Mike [TS]

  grant peace might even the right word [TS]

  for liking it so it's a weird feeling of [TS]

  like maybe more vulnerable it's straight [TS]

  something is very difficult for me to [TS]

  explain but the only way that I [TS]

  described it is also the high feel [TS]

  overwhelmed and then she'll say to me [TS]

  tell me all the things that you have [TS]

  going on and then I'll list them and [TS]

  realize it's not as many as I think it [TS]

  is this is a very common thing maybe [TS]

  happens every few months or so but it's [TS]

  not something that I can really see [TS]

  until I'm able to express it but it's [TS]

  funny that like the more and more it [TS]

  happens the more that I'm realizing that [TS]

  it's in those times is typically where [TS]

  I'm not taking breaks [TS]

  mm and it's when i'm not taking breaks [TS]

  I'm working maybe a little bit more than [TS]

  I should and then I feel like there's [TS]

  always more happening there is yeah that [TS]

  it's funny you mention that because at [TS]

  just this thing that I do fairly fairly [TS]

  regularly maybe like you maybe every [TS]

  couple of months I don't know exactly [TS]

  but i am also aware that feeling of [TS]

  overwhelm Ennis and a as much before [TS]

  sometimes like just this feeling like [TS]

  there is so much to do and so little [TS]

  time to do it [TS]

  I almost like that feeling is auntie [TS]

  correlated with actually how many things [TS]

  there are to do and so just the other [TS]

  day again this is now months ago from [TS]

  whatever people on this may have [TS]

  happened three times to be known [TS]

  yeah I may have done it several times [TS]

  now but I just the other day I posted on [TS]

  Twitter about how I always know like all [TS]

  things are serious when I feel the need [TS]

  to break out a second to do app and so I [TS]

  I more like if I have this feeling of [TS]

  overwhelming asst i do the same thing [TS]

  that Athena is walking you through [TS]

  of let me let me not look at my normal [TS]

  system let me not look at all of my [TS]

  normal things [TS]

  let me just list what are all of the [TS]

  things that are on my mind right now [TS]

  what are all of the things that are top [TS]

  of my mind that's taking up all of this [TS]

  mental attention and what am I feeling [TS]

  overwhelmed about and it's always the [TS]

  same experience of ok once i write this [TS]

  down in a list there maybe nine things [TS]

  on that list but i often find is I'm [TS]

  feeling overwhelmed or or busy because a [TS]

  bunch of these things are new or unusual [TS]

  things [TS]

  it's not that they're actually i may not [TS]

  actually be tremendously more busy than [TS]

  I currently am but it's just there's [TS]

  uncertainty here and writing it down on [TS]

  a list like clarifies and refined that [TS]

  uncertainty and helps get rid of that [TS]

  feeling of being too busy and too [TS]

  overwhelmed [TS]

  yeah they're there is something quite [TS]

  funny and that you talk to it to do app [TS]

  and I talked to my girlfriend and I used [TS]

  to write it down on a piece of paper but [TS]

  now I know now I i use do out for a [TS]

  little bit in the future come on we're [TS]

  living in the future but yes it's like [TS]

  having just gone through this like this [TS]

  week i had been feeling very overwhelmed [TS]

  when I wrote it all down what i realize [TS]

  is ok i am actually quite busy because [TS]

  this week i am working on a video we're [TS]

  doing these two podcast one which is the [TS]

  bank episode in the future so that is a [TS]

  thing that counts for me as a bit of oh [TS]

  this is unusual [TS]

  this is different the video that i am [TS]

  working on again I can't talk about this [TS]

  now even though it hasn't yet happened [TS]

  is a collaboration video with somebody [TS]

  else and so that also adds to the [TS]

  different pneus of the project i like [TS]

  that you said somebody else you still [TS]

  trying to god don't know why I did that [TS]

  from the people that know right yeah [TS]

  it's a it's a it's a crossover video [TS]

  with Curtis that I don't know why on [TS]

  earth I said somebody else very proud of [TS]

  you right now that was part of my brain [TS]

  really not sure if we're supposed to [TS]

  reveal this yet but no no one will hear [TS]

  this but so that's the thing it's it's [TS]

  different [TS]

  and then the other thing is i have a [TS]

  bunch of stuff that's just related to [TS]

  finalizing and preparing for all of the [TS]

  summer travels [TS]

  now that is a busier week than normal [TS]

  but overwhelmingly the feeling of [TS]

  busyness or the feeling of overwhelming [TS]

  this is was just coming from a bunch of [TS]

  these things are different than they [TS]

  normally are [TS]

  and so when you write them all down on a [TS]

  list you can see okay this is clearer [TS]

  than I thought it was before [TS]

  yeah and this helps focus the mind on [TS]

  what you're going to do and what I also [TS]

  really like about this this process of [TS]

  writing things down in these moments is [TS]

  forcing the list to be in what order are [TS]

  you going to work on it like this [TS]

  here's the thing at the top this is the [TS]

  thing that you're doing right now the [TS]

  next most important thing is below it [TS]

  and then just so on [TS]

  I i find that is extremely helpful and I [TS]

  know I always want to use a hippie word [TS]

  like centering I don't know I i get it's [TS]

  a similar thing i have a hard time [TS]

  verbalizing the mental feeling it's like [TS]

  decluttering yeah yeah that'sthat's [TS]

  actually that's pretty good that that's [TS]

  a very similar feeling of like a [TS]

  decluttering is how much stuff is here [TS]

  maybe not necessarily a lot but what you [TS]

  really need to do is get rid of a few [TS]

  items and better arrange the items that [TS]

  you have and then you realize how it [TS]

  wasn't actually that cluttered but I [TS]

  didn't need to do a bit of decluttering [TS]

  that's that's pretty good [TS]

  that's pretty good so going back to the [TS]

  time off em so the time off the isn't [TS]

  vacations you mentioned TV shows the ICM [TS]

  you do video gaming and stuff like that [TS]

  during those periods as well yeah video [TS]

  gaming actually quite recently it's it's [TS]

  been much more TV than video games I [TS]

  always tend to go in cycles with video [TS]

  games are playing a lot then not being [TS]

  very much at all yet depends what [TS]

  weather is something out that you wanna [TS]

  play right as well yeah thats part [TS]

  that's partly it but I think it's [TS]

  there's also just something in my brain [TS]

  which is more or less engaged by that [TS]

  activity and so I think that the like [TS]

  the video game TV cycles are our [TS]

  opposite cycles that that go on so so [TS]

  yeah those are things that I do it [TS]

  if I'm feeling dizzy or I sometimes I [TS]

  feel like there's something that's on my [TS]

  mind in a in a way that is difficult to [TS]

  articulate and so that's a time when I [TS]

  also really like to just go walking [TS]

  around the city and just just kind of [TS]

  explore go to a different place got a [TS]

  shoe over something in my mind I feel [TS]

  like I often don't even know exactly [TS]

  what it is that my brain is thinking [TS]

  about but going for a long walk and [TS]

  really resolve that kind of stuff and [TS]

  again an afternoon is a perfect time for [TS]

  that kind of thing like what else am I [TS]

  gonna do [TS]

  I'm not you know I'm gonna record a [TS]

  podcast like not every day we should [TS]

  look into that [TS]

  no we should I mean we've been doing it [TS]

  for two days in a row and is one day [TS]

  more than enough [TS]

  yeah this is supposed to be fortnightly [TS]

  that's what this is supposed to be on [TS]

  this show we spend an awful lot of time [TS]

  talking about side projects as i'm sure [TS]

  many of you out there have them those [TS]

  side projects they need a website those [TS]

  websites need domain names Hoover is the [TS]

  place to buy yours is the place that [TS]

  I've bought my domain names from the [TS]

  years because finding the perfect domain [TS]

  is ridiculously easy with hover plus [TS]

  when all you want to do is just buy that [TS]

  domain name or email address you [TS]

  shouldn't have to opt-out page after [TS]

  page of add-ons or stuff you don't want [TS]

  to have to deal with and stuff you're [TS]

  not interested in that's why haha only [TS]

  offers domains and email so you can [TS]

  focus on finding that great domain name [TS]

  and just get back to working on your [TS]

  great side project or idea they also [TS]

  believe that you shouldn't have to pay [TS]

  for things that should already be [TS]

  included with your domain most people [TS]

  don't realize that when you register a [TS]

  domain name your contact information [TS]

  including your email address phone [TS]

  number and home address is published [TS]

  online for marketers spammers and [TS]

  hackers to find what's called who is [TS]

  database [TS]

  unlike most other domain providers hover [TS]

  includes free who is privacy we've all [TS]

  supported domains to keep your [TS]

  information confidential find the [TS]

  perfect domain name for your idea go to [TS]

  Harvard calm and use the promo code year [TS]

  of less a check out to save ten percent [TS]

  of your first purchase [TS]

  thank you so much to her for their [TS]

  support of this show and we laugh and [TS]

  what about you Mike like for your time [TS]

  off be [TS]

  I I always just think about your [TS]

  schedule like you have this crazy [TS]

  schedule that I think I could not live [TS]

  with and it seems like your day is just [TS]

  very fragmented yeah so it's like what [TS]

  like what does that look like for you [TS]

  it has been a real problem for me this [TS]

  week mmm [TS]

  yesterday I had a feeling which I do not [TS]

  have very often boredom food so [TS]

  yesterday morning I was very bored and [TS]

  when I started thinking about it [TS]

  what I realized is I haven't been [TS]

  outside of the house [TS]

  mm in five days mmhmm yeah [TS]

  previously to that I was in a relative's [TS]

  house for the day [TS]

  who and then before that i was home for [TS]

  four days [TS]

  so what I realized is really i haven't [TS]

  left the house in two weeks because the [TS]

  times that i left the house I was going [TS]

  to other houses you've been a housecat [TS]

  for two weeks exactly and this is where [TS]

  my there are two factors here that make [TS]

  this difficult which is schedule and [TS]

  location now why was talking to a dinner [TS]

  about this issue saying just go for a [TS]

  walk and but the walk is not the thing [TS]

  that I need [TS]

  it's not being being out of the house is [TS]

  not what I need its stimulation when [TS]

  they leave the house who and just [TS]

  leaving here walking around my outer rim [TS]

  planet right is no good for me that he's [TS]

  got cattle skulls Jack over you just [TS]

  tumbleweed I can chase the tumbleweed [TS]

  down the street but that's not gonna do [TS]

  much good [TS]

  there's not really any benefit to me [TS]

  that I feel for doing that you know [TS]

  other than the exercise I do exercise on [TS]

  don't worry I'm not turning into a blob [TS]

  here so this is like an issue that i [TS]

  have hand mainly because the last two [TS]

  weeks have been uncharacteristically [TS]

  busy because of upcoming travel so is [TS]

  one of the reasons why the year of less [TS]

  quiet week which I'm currently in [TS]

  actually busier than my previous busily [TS]

  because there is travel coming up [TS]

  I presume that this means you are like [TS]

  you're doing with me right now recording [TS]

  other shows in advance or getting in and [TS]

  getting ready in some way for a a [TS]

  Content drought while you are at WWDC [TS]

  and not going to be recording a ton of [TS]

  stuff [TS]

  exactly and also other people like of a [TS]

  co-host and stuff are moving around a [TS]

  lot so there's like it's just a lot of [TS]

  like things moving around on my show [TS]

  Joel we've had news things that we're [TS]

  trying to get ready to do and all that [TS]

  sort of stuff so it's like additional [TS]

  pressures that maybe wouldn't be here [TS]

  usually blue and the other part that you [TS]

  mention my schedule combined with the [TS]

  fact that i am kind of on the outer rim [TS]

  my showed you all will throw things in [TS]

  the middle of the day [TS]

  yeah yeah so we record a two o'clock i [TS]

  record some other shows at three o'clock [TS]

  so once i'm done with my morning work i [TS]

  can't really go anywhere because I [TS]

  wouldn't make it back in time because [TS]

  I'm like an hour away from anything I [TS]

  want to do right so this is where the [TS]

  location is a problem which is why you [TS]

  know when we move which is getting [TS]

  closer and closer one of the key things [TS]

  that we're looking for is to be in [TS]

  civilization as some kind [TS]

  so I won't have to have this feeling [TS]

  because I can just go take a walk and [TS]

  maybe go get a coffee in a different [TS]

  location or they take a nice walk around [TS]

  a nice place to a thing go to the store [TS]

  you know I can do all of these things [TS]

  and they'll be more pleasant for me who [TS]

  but the good thing is I don't feel like [TS]

  this very frequently because I do make [TS]

  an effort in usual times to plan things [TS]

  outside of the home going to visit [TS]

  people having lunches of people and [TS]

  stuff like that but it was very [TS]

  interesting to me to confirm or I [TS]

  expected would be the case which is if I [TS]

  stay in the house too long i would get [TS]

  the boredom feeling but it is funny that [TS]

  it's maybe the first time I felt this in [TS]

  the two years I've been self-employed [TS]

  hmm yes it's it's a funny thing is [TS]

  boredom is a feeling for children and [TS]

  for office monkeys that's where that [TS]

  feeling seems like it would be the most [TS]

  part [TS]

  sent in the population and to be [TS]

  self-employed there's always something [TS]

  to do I I I think boredom [TS]

  I caught myself feeling slightly bored a [TS]

  few weeks ago and i just noticed it as a [TS]

  bizarre feeling like oh I haven't felt [TS]

  this way in forever I haven't felt this [TS]

  way in a really long time [TS]

  yep that's how I was like I put my ipad [TS]

  down and I went poof [TS]

  I was like oh no haha like patting your [TS]

  legs with your hands and I was looking [TS]

  around there's nothing to do there's [TS]

  nothing to do list i have something [TS]

  later on but nothing to do right now [TS]

  I've already watched on my youtube [TS]

  videos I've already mentally and [TS]

  uncharted there's nothing to do [TS]

  yeah this like like my summer planning [TS]

  like some of the other stuff we're [TS]

  talking about now I feel like this is [TS]

  all falling into the category of this [TS]

  meta skill of observing yourself [TS]

  yeah and it is a really key skill to in [TS]

  those moments take note of your own [TS]

  mental state and what's occurring and [TS]

  that i know i think that that's sounds [TS]

  kind of obvious but I really think this [TS]

  is a learned skill to cognitively learn [TS]

  to watch yourself and then walk yourself [TS]

  through precisely what you're talking [TS]

  about here thinking like why do I feel [TS]

  bored and trend tracking it back as [TS]

  opposed to just accepting that boredom [TS]

  is a feeling that you occasionally [TS]

  experience and projecting outward like [TS]

  oh my media is not entertaining enough [TS]

  for me right now that's why I'm being [TS]

  bored like no now that's that's not what [TS]

  it is there's something there's [TS]

  something that you are doing that is [TS]

  causing this in yourself and so then you [TS]

  recognize ago I have been a housecat for [TS]

  14 days in a row now I'm feeling bored [TS]

  yeah there's there's been no external [TS]

  stimulation everything is just the same [TS]

  for everything is just media consumption [TS]

  but things really key to be able to [TS]

  recognize that in yourself and then be [TS]

  able to try to course-correct and and [TS]

  act on that I was also quite pleased [TS]

  because it proved a hypothesis that i [TS]

  had about myself [TS]

  you know and i was able to i was i was [TS]

  happy in the sense i was able to [TS]

  understand that this could happen and [TS]

  then when it did happen i recognized it [TS]

  right and it also just makes me very [TS]

  wary of allowing it to happen which is [TS]

  why you know as dead as we get closer [TS]

  and closer to the end of the year I mean [TS]

  still halfway for the year but you know [TS]

  we're about to be on the other end of [TS]

  the middle right so we're moving towards [TS]

  the end of the year [TS]

  I'm beginning already to think about [TS]

  what does 2017 look like commitments [TS]

  why's this is this is this is perfect [TS]

  because this is exactly what I've been [TS]

  thinking about so intensely and in the [TS]

  past several weeks as well it is almost [TS]

  mentally like well the rest of the year [TS]

  is is kind of set yeah i'm not going to [TS]

  make any changes now [TS]

  yeah i might do new stuff but i'm not [TS]

  going to get rid of anything because [TS]

  it's all planned it's all there also [TS]

  exists will accept it that is it there's [TS]

  a schedule in place yet but already [TS]

  thinking forward towards next year and [TS]

  like what what does next year look like [TS]

  and doing the same thing on a bigger [TS]

  scale of what is this year looks like [TS]

  what his last year look like what do you [TS]

  do again they along with the meta [TS]

  cognition that this feeling of the the [TS]

  project of a human life is to design a [TS]

  life that it wants to live like this [TS]

  this is the ultimate thing that you want [TS]

  to try to do is make your life more of a [TS]

  life that you want to live and so doing [TS]

  the same thing of thinking forward to [TS]

  2017 and thinking okay how can 2017 be [TS]

  better than 2016 what structural changes [TS]

  are there that can be made in the future [TS]

  that will place me in a situation where [TS]

  i like my life even better than I [TS]

  already liked it i think this is one of [TS]

  these things you kind of naturally end [TS]

  up thinking about because it's just [TS]

  funny that you say that you again at [TS]

  this point which is essentially not yet [TS]

  but barely halfway through the year [TS]

  you already are quite naturally thinking [TS]

  forward toward next year like that's [TS]

  just something that's that's coming [TS]

  across your mental horizons [TS]

  I think it's you know a lot of it is [TS]

  because by this point in the year I at [TS]

  least accumulates and new things and I [TS]

  want to work on some new stuff so I'm [TS]

  like okay you're at the halfway point [TS]

  now and how are you feeling okay you're [TS]

  going to feel like maybe you've got a [TS]

  lot going on but wait you're not [TS]

  stopping em so it's just a case of over [TS]

  the hump time to consider what next year [TS]

  looks like and it's just like you know [TS]

  how we were talking in January about new [TS]

  year being time to reflect who i feel [TS]

  like in the same vein half-year is just [TS]

  in the time to start making yourself [TS]

  aware of next year just like a little [TS]

  mental clock thing that happens around [TS]

  like okay I've been doing this what I [TS]

  set out in January for six months now [TS]

  now just time to start preparing myself [TS]

  for what the next part looks like i [TS]

  should buy this point in the year of [TS]

  worked out if the 2016 plan was an [TS]

  effective one moving now how do i [TS]

  tweaked it to create 2017 plan right and [TS]

  the the rest of 2016 is in some sense [TS]

  execution on the what has already been [TS]

  set up yet right it's like we're just [TS]

  going to continue to execute what has [TS]

  been set up and then thinking thinking [TS]

  forward toward the next year [TS]

  yeah there's no point for course [TS]

  correction in unless there's something [TS]

  significantly wrong in which there isn't [TS]

  I mean you know your course correcting [TS]

  in some way in that you're getting help [TS]

  yes that's true although i will still [TS]

  say that all of this is falling under [TS]

  the year of less this is fish is this is [TS]

  why that project was set up for this [TS]

  year and two to go even on a1a like zoom [TS]

  out one additional level is another part [TS]

  of the motivation behind the year of [TS]

  last was also also relates to what we [TS]

  were discussing before which is [TS]

  recognizing I have been really bad at [TS]

  taking vacation time for myself and the [TS]

  last vacation time that I theoretically [TS]

  had over the summer I was not very good [TS]

  at doing that I was bad at vacationing [TS]

  uh-huh and so the year of less is in a [TS]

  larger part of way of thinking of okay [TS]

  well [TS]

  how can i setup structures so that it is [TS]

  easier for me to take some dedicated [TS]

  amount of time off right and and but [TS]

  that but even that is like okay I need [TS]

  to get those systems in place in 2016 if [TS]

  there is any hope of rearranging [TS]

  schedules or commitments in 2017 his [TS]

  it's funny to think of these things on [TS]

  such a long term but if you don't think [TS]

  about this stuff you can't do any kind [TS]

  of course correction in our life and [TS]

  everything always takes longer than you [TS]

  think it's it's going to so that's why [TS]

  can take a whole year to think about how [TS]

  can i reduce the number of hours that i [TS]

  am working on stuff while not [TS]

  dramatically reducing the actual output [TS]

  and then if that is successful that can [TS]

  have knock-on effects towards what [TS]

  happens in the future do anything that [TS]

  you want to reveal about your 2017 like [TS]

  to see your plans you don't tell people [TS]

  about I don't have secret plans yeah so [TS]

  what are you thinking about that towards [TS]

  2017 like what what is pulling your mind [TS]

  in that direction the same thing as last [TS]

  year so that the 2016 change was cutting [TS]

  a show and reducing the shedule some [TS]

  others em so it will be the same kind of [TS]

  thing I expect like that's one thinking [TS]

  now is like okay that worked pretty well [TS]

  what can I do [TS]

  so are there any shows which would be [TS]

  natural to end at the end of the year [TS]

  and are there any shows which would be [TS]

  natural to reduce commitment in some way [TS]

  maybe who I don't change the publishing [TS]

  schedule of them but maybe there are [TS]

  parts of the process which I won't need [TS]

  I won't do anymore [TS]

  whoever that is planning it differently [TS]

  or editing it differently [TS]

  what are the the changes that i can make [TS]

  to reduce that and this is the thing [TS]

  it's not for me about reducing the [TS]

  amount of work it's freeing up time [TS]

  again Lou so I'm not looking to like do [TS]

  less and chill who you know I'm not [TS]

  getting into the grey mentality is just [TS]

  just chill i'm looking to [TS]

  juice commitments so i can do new things [TS]

  because I like working i like it a lot [TS]

  and a lot of the time off stuff that I [TS]

  do is to enable myself to be able to [TS]

  work more effectively because I give [TS]

  myself the time to relax because i know [TS]

  that helps me but in the same vein I [TS]

  also then try and find ways and other [TS]

  than if this is good or bad to turn the [TS]

  things that I enjoy into work so it all [TS]

  comes full circle [TS]

  it doesn't stop my enjoyment of those [TS]

  things i still play video games for 12 [TS]

  hours but then I just doing a podcast [TS]

  episode about it and it feels like it [TS]

  was all ok right getting [TS]

  return-on-investment front retainment [TS]

  time there huh yeah well this i think [TS]

  this is this is a very natural thing and [TS]

  my version of this as well is it i am I [TS]

  know that I am happier with side [TS]

  projects and other things to work on [TS]

  aside from the main things and it's [TS]

  similar thing of feeling that I want to [TS]

  be able to clear time on my schedule and [TS]

  part of that means like and I always [TS]

  have like projects that i'm thinking [TS]

  about maybe this would work out maybe [TS]

  this this would work out [TS]

  I'm filtering them all now through the [TS]

  year of less filter that if they're [TS]

  successful other people need to be able [TS]

  to do the morning to be able to pass the [TS]

  monitor they need to be completed things [TS]

  again very happy to have that mental [TS]

  filter in place but i'm still very much [TS]

  in the mindset of as well freeing up [TS]

  time and very consciously not working on [TS]

  any of those side projects until I have [TS]

  freed up a significant number of hours [TS]

  but then the thing that I'm also [TS]

  wondering about is I agree with you that [TS]

  that vacation time is necessary recovery [TS]

  time and recognizing like I haven't been [TS]

  good at that and so feeling is there a [TS]

  way to aggregate a bunch of these hours [TS]

  together so that in the future at some [TS]

  point i can say i am taking a legitimate [TS]

  one hundred percent week off [TS]

  I'm doing nothing and i am going to feel [TS]

  glorious about it and that will be ok [TS]

  and then after that recovery period [TS]

  going back into the regular schedule [TS]

  because [TS]

  even though again our very first episode [TS]

  was titled I don't really like work i am [TS]

  very aware that I am still in the [TS]

  category of the kind of person who if I [TS]

  don't have something to work on [TS]

  I would go crazy like I i need to have [TS]

  some kind of work to do and without that [TS]

  it would just be a descent into madness [TS]

  there always has to be stuff to work on [TS]

  but there's the interesting question of [TS]

  how do you rearrange hours in the day [TS]

  how do you how do you arrange your time [TS]

  to be most effective so that you can [TS]

  work on the things that are of interest [TS]

  to you and that are also hopefully [TS]

  profitable in some way to pay the bills [TS]

  and to fulfill all of the various [TS]

  financial obligations that we all have [TS]

  what is a great vacation or a great [TS]

  vacation if you will let me hit here's [TS]

  the thing those trips to Amsterdam which [TS]

  we have made fun of various times on [TS]

  this show locations [TS]

  yeah those were in a way my attempts [TS]

  this year to try to do a vacation sort [TS]

  of but i knew i wasn't able to actually [TS]

  take time off to do nothing but I found [TS]

  those very interesting experiences [TS]

  because i was working in a very very [TS]

  focused way but I also felt like I am [TS]

  getting a lot of the same benefits that [TS]

  I would get from a vacation and I think [TS]

  this is this is just simply the again [TS]

  knowing yourself and knowing how to work [TS]

  with yourself and because i am quite [TS]

  naturally and an introverted person [TS]

  those trips were intentionally arranged [TS]

  so that I'm not really talking to [TS]

  anybody when I'm there and I was also [TS]

  very consciously minimizing as much as [TS]

  possible my communication with the [TS]

  outside world and so those were really [TS]

  interesting experiences to me of i feel [TS]

  like i am able to have some kind of [TS]

  recovery [TS]

  while still working as long as i am very [TS]

  conscious about being aware of what are [TS]

  the things that are most draining to me [TS]

  and it's like oh ok well one of those [TS]

  things are unusual or new social [TS]

  engagements or more thing or things like [TS]

  the podcast where this is not an unusual [TS]

  or new social engagement but there is [TS]

  there is something about this which is [TS]

  always a bit mentally draining in the [TS]

  same way because there is the awareness [TS]

  of the audience that is listening like [TS]

  this is a thing that is going out into [TS]

  the public world this is not mike and i [TS]

  just meeting for lunch conversation so [TS]

  those trips are really interesting and I [TS]

  think oftentimes many people's idea of [TS]

  what a vacation might be like oh we're [TS]

  going to go away with a bunch of people [TS]

  to a fun place like that can actually be [TS]

  hugely draining for me like that's [TS]

  what's that is what is going to happen [TS]

  this summer in no small part with some [TS]

  of the family obligations that i have is [TS]

  to any outside observer the the [TS]

  activities that i am doing they will [TS]

  look like vacations but i will be [TS]

  totally exhausted by them [TS]

  it's like oh I don't i'm not doing a [TS]

  whole lot of work there's just a whole [TS]

  bunch of hanging out with people and [TS]

  like oh there's things to do and [TS]

  activities to participate in and this [TS]

  looks like a vacation but it is not it [TS]

  is not if you are me so I think for me [TS]

  vacations at their best are always about [TS]

  limits inactivity or very conscious [TS]

  choices about what is being engaged in [TS]

  that that that to me is what a vacation [TS]

  is that is what I feel like is the the [TS]

  best return on investment per hour spent [TS]

  of recovery received so is Amsterdam the [TS]

  best type of vacation and all is it [TS]

  sitting on a beach for you all that kind [TS]

  of holiday the not doing anything all [TS]

  day what's best then if it's like low [TS]

  low social interaction and low work [TS]

  interaction is you know the Amsterdam is [TS]

  high work interaction [TS]

  yeah I this is this is what i'm trying [TS]

  to think about towards towards for next [TS]

  year is like how am I going to do this [TS]

  and one of the things I'm thinking about [TS]

  is an Amsterdam type trip is very [TS]

  effective because it is it is high work [TS]

  but low social interaction high recovery [TS]

  but i still need trips or vacations [TS]

  every once in a while that have some [TS]

  period of time which is just absolute [TS]

  nothingness and so last summer which was [TS]

  which was quite busy at the end of the [TS]

  trip the best decision that my wife and [TS]

  I made was that after a whole bunch of [TS]

  things we were doing a place we're going [TS]

  like things to do we intentionally [TS]

  scheduled a mini post vacation recovery [TS]

  time by going to Las Vegas and we just [TS]

  rented a nice room in Las Vegas and did [TS]

  nothing for a few days and it was just [TS]

  glorious and and that was a real kind of [TS]

  like this is this is great i can i can [TS]

  relax i can just there's nothing to do i [TS]

  need this every once in awhile of [TS]

  there's no responsibility [TS]

  there's no getting up there is no [TS]

  writing is just a total break and [TS]

  because that is a thing that went really [TS]

  well last summer that is actually what [TS]

  we're planning on doing again this [TS]

  summer is like I have this incredibly [TS]

  unusual busy summer but at the very end [TS]

  of it the last thing that we're going to [TS]

  do is we are once again we're going to [TS]

  go to Las Vegas we're renting a nice [TS]

  room [TS]

  we're going to spend a few days there [TS]

  and we're just going to do nothing and i [TS]

  feel like i need i need a little bit [TS]

  more of the do nothing at all time in my [TS]

  life that i currently have like I feel [TS]

  over the past two years in particular I [TS]

  have [TS]

  had two little do nothing time I don't [TS]

  need a ton of it but i need some of it [TS]

  on a one as honest um somewhat of an [TS]

  interval that it doesn't just randomly [TS]

  it doesn't just randomly occur but now [TS]

  this is one of these cases where I [TS]

  imagine Mike that you might be a little [TS]

  bit different from me in this scenario [TS]

  what some with the mic asian like hello [TS]

  I recently most of my vacations are [TS]

  centered around conferences em and it's [TS]

  because I take my vacations as times to [TS]

  see my friends because very few of my [TS]

  friends live in the same country as me [TS]

  right [TS]

  I'm you do which is great which means i [TS]

  see you often other friends and maybe [TS]

  see once a year or twice a year [TS]

  something like that so I'm able to [TS]

  couple these things and because they're [TS]

  also like interesting locations i very [TS]

  much like going to America and is [TS]

  usually nice places in America that i'll [TS]

  go to for the source stuff and they are [TS]

  kind of work occasions because there are [TS]

  working type things happening but it's [TS]

  way lower [TS]

  I tend not to record on these things if [TS]

  I do it's very few and I've tried exam [TS]

  Francisco largely WTC last year was [TS]

  quite a lot of show recordings and other [TS]

  things happening and this year was [TS]

  planned very differently to hopefully [TS]

  maybe it did who knows it's already [TS]

  happened but maybe it was rather a be it [TS]

  wasn't ok we'll find out and adjust [TS]

  again recording with you was an [TS]

  unexpected thing on the calendar by hey [TS]

  huh that's how these things go [TS]

  it's all about cooperation and I do like [TS]

  though the do-nothing vacation I just [TS]

  don't really plan for those as much who [TS]

  because one of the things that has [TS]

  occurred is me and Deena like to make [TS]

  sure we try and take trips together [TS]

  which typically means that she will take [TS]

  a trip with me to a friend its location [TS]

  and America sent around a thing [TS]

  happening and then maybe i will take [TS]

  trips of her [TS]

  to Romania and we'll see friends but it [TS]

  you know we are thinking again for later [TS]

  this year to maybe take a trip with my [TS]

  family which will be a do-nothing [TS]

  location because i feel like i could do [TS]

  that like when i take family vacations [TS]

  or have taken or would take family [TS]

  vacations I would feel way let's [TS]

  obligated like do stuff with my family [TS]

  Lou that maybe you do I feel like there [TS]

  is an obligation within you to when [TS]

  you're on a family vacation family [TS]

  activities i don't really do that and my [TS]

  family understand that about me which is [TS]

  actually quite interesting they're going [TS]

  talking about this is i may be more you [TS]

  with my family then you [TS]

  with my family then you [TS]

  haha yeah with my immediate family there [TS]

  is no obligation to really do things uh [TS]

  I have a very small family Z so I think [TS]

  that's why I'm able to get away with it [TS]

  but people tend not to bother me and my [TS]

  family with stuff because they know i [TS]

  just have no tolerance for it which is [TS]

  quite nice [TS]

  so on a family vacation I wouldn't do [TS]

  anything like that and if we don't do [TS]

  that trip I would very much before the [TS]

  end of the year like for us to do a [TS]

  do-nothing vacation the house buying [TS]

  process might kind of get in the way of [TS]

  that arm but yeah I i like to try and do [TS]

  that as well but the majority of my [TS]

  vacations are centered around some kind [TS]

  of big activity that brings people [TS]

  together [TS]

  yeah for me and interesting intersection [TS]

  of sort of doing nothing but also [TS]

  engaging was a few years ago my parents [TS]

  treated my wife and I to a cruise so the [TS]

  four of us went on a cruise and it was [TS]

  just fantastic because a cruise ship is [TS]

  an environment in which while there are [TS]

  many things going on [TS]

  I again really enjoyed the constraint of [TS]

  it so well it's not actually a whole lot [TS]

  to do you know you this [TS]

  the internet is unusable because it's [TS]

  going through a satellite and they all [TS]

  actually that's a benefit [TS]

  I like this there's there's not really [TS]

  any internet to use there's very little [TS]

  to do except kinda like sit and read a [TS]

  book and watch the scenery go by and the [TS]

  cruise ship is also a a nice environment [TS]

  oh because it's relatively small I keep [TS]

  bumping into my parents right you can't [TS]

  you cannot run into people and it's it's [TS]

  like an artificial tiny village [TS]

  almost yeah yeah and in this really [TS]

  constrained but enjoyable way and [TS]

  there's always something to like remark [TS]

  upon because the cruise ship is going [TS]

  past interesting places and i just i [TS]

  found that was just a really pleasant [TS]

  a to have a trip that just totally felt [TS]

  like recovery time but also had the [TS]

  thing that is beneficial and best about [TS]

  traveling which is novelty like your [TS]

  brain needs some kind of novelty [TS]

  otherwise you become like Mike was your [TS]

  board or you feel like you're an indoor [TS]

  cat and I don't know is that i found [TS]

  that was just a really great interaction [TS]

  like this is this is this is just [TS]

  perfect [TS]

  this is an absolutely perfect experience [TS]

  this episode of cortex is brought to you [TS]

  by Squarespace the simplest way for [TS]

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  Squarespace helps you capture every [TS]

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  the great idea or service or thing that [TS]

  you're looking to build create and maybe [TS]

  turn into something that could be your [TS]

  next project [TS]

  Squarespace is the place you should look [TS]

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  trusted by millions of people all around [TS]

  the world all of their sights feature [TS]

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  fantastic and they make your site look [TS]

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  twenty four seven support have a [TS]

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  of your Squarespace site they have cover [TS]

  pages rock-solid fast hosting and so [TS]

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  it doesn't matter how much experience [TS]

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  you're gonna have none you can have a [TS]

  lot Squarespace can cater for everything [TS]

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  with the code under the hood if that's [TS]

  your bag [TS]

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  free trial of know [TS]

  credit card required and start building [TS]

  your own website today by going to [TS]

  squarespace.com when you decide to sign [TS]

  up make sure you use the offer code [TS]

  cortex at checkout to get ten percent of [TS]

  your first purchase and show your [TS]

  support for the shop they get a square [TS]

  space for supporting cortex and really a [TS]

  fan I feel like we've been really [TS]

  philosophical on this episode Mikey this [TS]

  episode being an episode out of time it [TS]

  has a totally different feel to it [TS]

  do you feel that it is weird right I [TS]

  feel way more raw than usual yeah i'm [TS]

  looking for a very strange it is Rhys a [TS]

  good word maybe the continuity somehow [TS]

  keeps the safe [TS]

  maybe when were out of continuity [TS]

  everything just go out the window [TS]

  yeah but it almost feels like i'm just [TS]

  i'm here in my office just floating in [TS]

  the black void of space talking into a [TS]

  microphone that that is the feeling of [TS]

  this episode is where my perspective [TS]

  because I don't wear so much uncertainty [TS]

  to it [TS]

  yeah what will have happened to our [TS]

  lives in between now on this episode [TS]

  being released we don't even look [TS]

  yeah who knows nobody knows it's just [TS]

  been it's been very strange this episode [TS]

  out of time and I think and we need to [TS]

  try to try to get ourselves back into [TS]

  the regular space-time continuum with [TS]

  some normality and I think we should do [TS]

  that with a little bit of ass cortex [TS]

  that's a great idea let's bring the [TS]

  people back to us yeah yeah that's what [TS]

  it is this is like calling out in the [TS]

  void into the other voices that have [TS]

  spoken to us please tell me that you [TS]

  have some ass cortex questions ideal [TS]

  agreement i do and the first ones from [TS]

  kevin i look at that your voice is even [TS]

  normal now or he's not happy again if [TS]

  the normal Mike voice okay Kevin would [TS]

  like to know what is your relationship [TS]

  with magic the gathering apparently [TS]

  kevin has recognized some references in [TS]

  the video almost wondering if you have [TS]

  played and if you do play [TS]

  do you know what Matt Magic the [TS]

  Gathering is my know what [TS]

  it is yes a trading card game okay yeah [TS]

  yeah magic is a trading card game it is [TS]

  i I'm I'm not it is one of the first I [TS]

  ever came across [TS]

  I don't know how early it is in the [TS]

  history of these actual things of [TS]

  collectible card game I feel understands [TS]

  the one though right [TS]

  like it is the trading card game it [TS]

  feels like the progenitor of the modern [TS]

  idea you know what trading card games [TS]

  are and i am I got into magic when I was [TS]

  in high school I think I can't remember [TS]

  how but it was it was right at the very [TS]

  beginning because i remember reading [TS]

  some article in some physical magazine [TS]

  that was talking about this new thing [TS]

  and I thought it looked cool and i [TS]

  remember bugging my parents to take me [TS]

  to some game shops that I could buy [TS]

  these cards [TS]

  mhm and of course I didn't realize that [TS]

  these card games are set up to be like [TS]

  drug habits that he might he's you can [TS]

  get in really easy right you can you can [TS]

  start out by just over here you go you [TS]

  buy yourself a starter deck and it may [TS]

  maybe kid you want to buy some expansion [TS]

  packs and yeah i would like to buy some [TS]

  expansion packs and then next year they [TS]

  come out with a more powerful version of [TS]

  the drug and so you have to buy more [TS]

  expansion packs if you want to you want [TS]

  to keep up with what's happening in the [TS]

  game and I really liked it [TS]

  magic just super fit the kind of thing [TS]

  that my brain likes thinking about all [TS]

  of the different cards and how all of [TS]

  the cards interact with all the other [TS]

  cards and the systems of it I really [TS]

  really liked it but I did not have a [TS]

  large enough wallet at the time to [TS]

  express how much I liked magic and so my [TS]

  feeling of magic from from being a kid [TS]

  was mostly i do not have enough money to [TS]

  play this came i always have to play it [TS]

  with whatever cards i have just scrounge [TS]

  together [TS]

  so I i really i really liked it a lot as [TS]

  a kid as an adult I have played some of [TS]

  the ipad versions of it because that's a [TS]

  much cheaper way to get into the game [TS]

  i'm not super into it as an adult in no [TS]

  small part because there have been so [TS]

  many expansions and so many add-ons that [TS]

  the game is horrific really complicated [TS]

  now if you haven't been following it [TS]

  every year with all the little changes [TS]

  that they make but yeah [TS]

  magic the gathering quite like it got [TS]

  into it as a kid and if i can make a 15 [TS]

  years out-of-date magic the gathering [TS]

  reference in my videos i'm not gonna [TS]

  pass up on that you have a plane hast on [TS]

  hearthstone is really fun [TS]

  have you played hard stone yeah I I've [TS]

  have played and suck so bad [TS]

  listen there's never a discussion about [TS]

  how good we are at these things it's [TS]

  just a question of have you played yeah [TS]

  I have played heart hearthstone is for [TS]

  listeners it's to me it feels like the [TS]

  next generation of magic the gathering [TS]

  it's it's all on the ipad or on desktop [TS]

  is its cross-platform yeah right i [TS]

  always forget that it's on desktop yeah [TS]

  it's a collectible card game but what I [TS]

  love about it is they so understand that [TS]

  nobody has physical cards here it is the [TS]

  abstract idea of a card and it allows [TS]

  them to do a lot of really interesting [TS]

  things digitally with the game [TS]

  hearthstone is a thing that is i slide [TS]

  in and out of but i think it's it's [TS]

  really fun but hard stone totally killed [TS]

  my ability to play magic because all of [TS]

  the things that you learn in magic that [TS]

  make you a good magic player i think [TS]

  hard stone was designed specifically so [TS]

  that all of your magic habits will just [TS]

  be like sliding a knife into your own [TS]

  gut when you play the game if you play [TS]

  it like i love i love magic based card [TS]

  games let me play hearthstone and it's [TS]

  well i'm going to die immediately [TS]

  everything that I would do in magic [TS]

  which would be a more smart strategic [TS]

  move will get you killed immediately a [TS]

  hearthstone [TS]

  so I I think I'm probably never going to [TS]

  go back to playing magic because once [TS]

  you do hearthstone it's it's hard to go [TS]

  back but it's super fun i really like it [TS]

  and I it's fun to play people [TS]

  anonymously online i'm not very good at [TS]

  all but i don't care like that's not the [TS]

  point is to be good [TS]

  the point is I'm doing something fun [TS]

  while I'm sitting on the couch in [TS]

  trading card game physical trading card [TS]

  game of a plate was the Pokemon Trading [TS]

  Card Game of course which was awesome [TS]

  they even made a gameboy version of the [TS]

  card game which was great to Pokemon [TS]

  Trading Card Game yeah it's still going [TS]

  it's still a very popular trading card [TS]

  game is still making it and still [TS]

  produce impacts and stuff like that [TS]

  I i used to play it with my friends you [TS]

  know during the whole massive pokemon [TS]

  phase [TS]

  mmm yes that's the only one I've ever [TS]

  played but i remember when i would buy [TS]

  my packs that magic were always in the [TS]

  same cases from the places that i bought [TS]

  them from that's how I know about magic [TS]

  because it was always there when I was [TS]

  buying the booster packs for the pokemon [TS]

  I'm so i was looking at ya when you [TS]

  gonna get that shiny Charizard that was [TS]

  the cars and that was the card [TS]

  oh and of course i just realized [TS]

  everyone will want to know all the magic [TS]

  players will want to know when I played [TS]

  magic my preferred colors were blue and [TS]

  black [TS]

  so yeah fun memories to play the pokemon [TS]

  game very much anymore [TS]

  no I I don't even have any cards anymore [TS]

  like I don't know where they are had a [TS]

  big collection cards used to love it i [TS]

  still have a box of magic cards at my [TS]

  parents house that they have in a box of [TS]

  a bunch of like stuff from when I was a [TS]

  kid I expect to love my pokemon cards or [TS]

  my grandma's i find it really hard not [TS]

  to look through them when I remember [TS]

  that they exist like I just pull them [TS]

  out and look at them and I guess I [TS]

  remember setting up this deck [TS]

  I guess this wasn't in this is a really [TS]

  fun deco this is the little good [TS]

  combination [TS]

  it's just a thing that my mind likes to [TS]

  turn over and over that you can escape [TS]

  some of that stuff now I have a question [TS]

  I've been wanting to ask you just [TS]

  because it's going to be so difficult to [TS]

  ask the question [TS]

  oh ok so this comes from Allen and Allen [TS]

  says when gray uses this face then [TS]

  inserts character [TS]

  where does that face come from do you [TS]

  have it locally and copy and paste it [TS]

  onto google it every time [TS]

  now how would you describe the face [TS]

  character Allen has used to send it to [TS]

  me over I message [TS]

  how would you describe this face [TS]

  character what is this this is the face [TS]

  of disapproval [TS]

  uh-huh that's what this faces now it's [TS]

  not an emoji write it in a text-based [TS]

  it's more I guess it's not an emoji it's [TS]

  an old-school emoticon [TS]

  yeah back in the day we used to build [TS]

  our little facial expressions out of the [TS]

  characters that we had available [TS]

  you're not that much older than me ice [TS]

  to do this we didn't have people just [TS]

  drawing emoji for us we had to build [TS]

  them with our own hands my autism and [TS]

  created the emoticons and of course of [TS]

  nature would think oh you're right to [TS]

  artisanal now something artisanal we're [TS]

  just chilling them out of characters [TS]

  what is this physical is it got a name [TS]

  that you know I think it's just called [TS]

  the disapproving face i'm going to check [TS]

  out right now [TS]

  so where does it come from for you when [TS]

  you use it you have like a text expander [TS]

  stupid or something [TS]

  it's official name is called the look of [TS]

  disapproval em and if it'll be an it'll [TS]

  be in the show notes [TS]

  anybody who's ever been on read it will [TS]

  know exactly what we're talking about [TS]

  yes it is this stern-looking emoticon [TS]

  face with little horizontal mouth and I [TS]

  think they're ty symbols or something [TS]

  which are the eyes but that end up just [TS]

  looking like eyes that are staring into [TS]

  your soul with furrowed brows but I came [TS]

  I came across this on reddit you know [TS]

  ages and ages ago and i think that it is [TS]

  just an absolute perfect emoticon for [TS]

  very many situations and so i have it [TS]

  set up as one of those at the sinking [TS]

  keyboard shortcuts that Apple has yes so [TS]

  i can i can whip it out at the [TS]

  appropriate moment immediately that sort [TS]

  of my type i don't even know I just [TS]

  built into my [TS]

  now thinking about it don't do it okay [TS]

  what am I type I type D is Q and that is [TS]

  my little shortcut for disapproval face [TS]

  mhm and so the the moment that I need to [TS]

  over the internet glare at someone with [TS]

  a disapproving face [TS]

  I have it right at my fingertips room 33 [TS]

  ask are there any side projects that [TS]

  gray wishes would have been the big [TS]

  things take off instead of YouTube [TS]

  that's an interesting question the the [TS]

  thing that's that's tricky to answer [TS]

  about that is to express appropriately [TS]

  my feelings towards all of the projects [TS]

  that I worked on and my feelings of them [TS]

  is I love them as much as they have been [TS]

  successful and so like I really like the [TS]

  YouTube project because it has been [TS]

  really successful and I'd I don't have a [TS]

  feeling toward any of the past projects [TS]

  of oh I wish this one had been the one [TS]

  to catch on [TS]

  it's more feeling like I worked on this [TS]

  thing for a while and it didn't really [TS]

  go anywhere and then I moved on to the [TS]

  next thing and so no I don't I don't [TS]

  look backward on it and in that way it [TS]

  it [TS]

  i I don't know if this is the best [TS]

  analogy but i always think of it as like [TS]

  placing bets on a table and so this [TS]

  question is almost like asking do you [TS]

  wish that any of the bets that you had [TS]

  previously made had paid off so well I [TS]

  think you're thinking about this in the [TS]

  wrong way if you know you're placing a [TS]

  bunch of bets and you're hoping that [TS]

  some of them are successful and then you [TS]

  are happy when one of them turns out to [TS]

  be successful but you don't you don't [TS]

  think about like oh that black 32 six [TS]

  weeks ago I really wish that had been [TS]

  the one I guess it's much more of a like [TS]

  a system than it is a series of events [TS]

  that that's kind of where I think about [TS]

  it yet because it was always about which [TS]

  one will be the one to provide the the [TS]

  result you're looking for right which [TS]

  was to be able to control my own [TS]

  schedule [TS]

  well and work on my own right like that [TS]

  was the thing that I was aiming for and [TS]

  the various projects were different [TS]

  attempts to to try and get there like I [TS]

  did you know maybe we maybe we can talk [TS]

  about it in more detail on some future [TS]

  maybe past show I don't know what we [TS]

  will have spoken about it but i think [TS]

  the the closest thing that it to that is [TS]

  a feeling of it was actually frustrating [TS]

  more for some of the projects that were [TS]

  partially paying off because i feel like [TS]

  those were things that sucked up a lot [TS]

  of my time because it felt like our man [TS]

  if I can make this a little bigger [TS]

  this will be great and so in some sense [TS]

  i prefer the things that i worked on [TS]

  that were immediately obviously terrible [TS]

  ideas that just didn't work whereas i [TS]

  had for a while there I had a few things [TS]

  that I was working on was like I'm [TS]

  learning a little bit of money from this [TS]

  and I'm running a little bit of money [TS]

  from that and I had this is this very [TS]

  frustrating feeling of like like can I [TS]

  just Kabul this together or can I make [TS]

  this twice as big and so those in a [TS]

  sense were bets that in a way we're like [TS]

  more unsuccessful than my just [TS]

  straight-up unsuccessful bets because [TS]

  they were not winners and they also took [TS]

  up a bunch of my time [TS]

  all right Tobias wants to know if we [TS]

  make all beds every morning I already [TS]

  know from surprising you on facetime [TS]

  that one time should have seen this [TS]

  coming [TS]

  that you do not make your bed every [TS]

  morning I don't make my bed everyone [TS]

  one of the great pleasures in my life is [TS]

  the fact that it doesn't bother my [TS]

  girlfriend about if that is made you are [TS]

  a lucky man then that never of us seem [TS]

  to care about it every now and then [TS]

  we'll do it but like hang on a second [TS]

  ya know it's an absolute disaster right [TS]

  now it's right behind you right now it's [TS]

  right behind me right now we're both [TS]

  pretty cool about that i think it maybe [TS]

  she's I don't know harboring some kind [TS]

  of resentment towards me that I'm not [TS]

  aware of yet great power point is idea [TS]

  it's very possible i think everyone in [TS]

  my life has some kind of resentment [TS]

  towards me now I've got some data that [TS]

  says so right now but no I don't make my [TS]

  bed every morning I bet you do [TS]

  so you I used to not because I used to [TS]

  fall under the category of what is this [TS]

  matter i'm just going to mess it up [TS]

  later anyway yeah him and I think that [TS]

  is there's a totally reasonable position [TS]

  my camera i came across it but at some [TS]

  point i came across on a podcaster some [TS]

  something someone was really selling the [TS]

  idea of you need to make your bed every [TS]

  morning and I'm always open to trying [TS]

  stuff like I can't remember what they [TS]

  said but whatever they said it I felt [TS]

  like it was convincing and so I went [TS]

  through a period where i was going [TS]

  through an effort of making sure that [TS]

  the bed was made every morning and say [TS]

  oh this does seem to have intangible [TS]

  benefits that I cannot quite quantify [TS]

  that do make making the bed worthwhile [TS]

  it's again hard to put into words but it [TS]

  feels like it is definitely something [TS]

  and so I now do try to make the bed in [TS]

  the morning if it is unmade there's a [TS]

  there's a little bit of a little bit of [TS]

  a thing here with the morning schedule [TS]

  that I am usually up and out of the [TS]

  house before my wife is even awake and [TS]

  then it depends on like she has varying [TS]

  schedules about when she needs to be [TS]

  someplace in the morning so sometimes [TS]

  she makes the bed sometimes she doesn't [TS]

  have time and if i come home and i see [TS]

  the bed is unmade i will sometimes try [TS]

  to make it like what I don't know like [TS]

  randomly sometimes the better [TS]

  we made it sometimes it will be unmade [TS]

  but the thing that my wife has noticed [TS]

  is that i am not perfectly consistent [TS]

  about making the bed in a way that I [TS]

  don't notice but of course she is aware [TS]

  and she is able to use the maid miss of [TS]

  the bed as a proxy for how on top of his [TS]

  life does my husband feel night Mariano [TS]

  home line right there my friend that's [TS]

  exactly it [TS]

  so I don't know maybe maybe [TS]

  intentionally she leaves the bed unmade [TS]

  sometimes as like a little test to see [TS]

  is he feeling really busy and [TS]

  overwhelmed right now so overwhelmed [TS]

  that he's not going to make the bed or [TS]

  is he feeling totally on top of things I [TS]

  guess I'll know when I'll come home [TS]

  maybe that's what she does [TS]

  I don't know gray yeah it's a trap [TS]