Hello Internet

H.I. #3: Four Light Bulbs

 

  No you go in practicing I think today I was like Don't blow it don't blow it. [TS]

  So I have learned my lesson from last time and I realize we have to start with follow up from episode two. [TS]

  Yes but how can we. Again we've got the same problem as last time. [TS]

  Yes but we but we also have the same benefit as last time which is I have edited the audio and have been displeased. [TS]

  So I don't think that's ever going to change but go on then what were you displeased with from episode to episode two. [TS]

  We talked about copyright and I opened by saying how I found my own copyright youtube video. [TS]

  The argument was unconvincing to me at the end. [TS]

  Yes And I think if you you know I'm imagining because these still haven't gone live we haven't gotten feedback. [TS]

  But I'm imagining that if someone is hearing that there's then expecting that I'm going to blow them away with a rock [TS]

  solid hour long pieces that is like the perfect convincing argument for why copyright has to be limited [TS]

  and I think the last show was not that at all. [TS]

  Listened I listened to me [TS]

  and I thought I'm still not convinced by what I have no idea just not completely clear on your position you know [TS]

  there's nothing wrong with that. You just kind of a bit in the wilderness that makes me angry just because. Well why. [TS]

  Well I am very open to changing my mind I know what my position is on this [TS]

  and I'm just continually frustrated by my seeming inability to articulate a clear consistent message on why copyright [TS]

  should be limited. [TS]

  So we collected the copyright video again we're going to be asked again now what I know having bit of a winch that [TS]

  you're not happy with my follow up is convincing this of previous podcast [TS]

  and given that a thumbs down that is that is a follow up I am not impressed by my own. [TS]

  Argument again on the same topic. [TS]

  So I wanted to just follow that up and get so anyone listening to Episode three before the recent episode. [TS]

  You're basically saying don't listen to it to say it. [TS]

  No no do this and to write because I want you to listen to it [TS]

  and then maybe we'll figure out some sort of feedback form. [TS]

  Hear what people have to say about I would be curious or feedback because this is is a totally different format. [TS]

  This isn't I'm just sort of showing up and we're talking about stuff [TS]

  and it's not super prepared so I'm very curious to see how people react to this. [TS]

  And since this is our third episode [TS]

  and probably the last before it goes public I would be very interested to hear what people have to say about the first [TS]

  three in particular so OK Second second piece a follow up for me and also about copyright. [TS]

  Yeah it is I did the same thing again which is I said something that I didn't mean to say [TS]

  and listening to me say it in the audio is incredibly frustrating. [TS]

  So first time I called the Economist newspaper The Economist magazine [TS]

  and in this one something that really bothers me is. [TS]

  When you talk about newspapers taking our videos and uploading them to other people sites [TS]

  and I use the word I used to describe that was stealing. [TS]

  And I try so hard not to use the word stealing because I don't think that that that is a fair word to use that is a [TS]

  more harsh word than what it really is you know it should be infringement. They infringed on my videos. [TS]

  But in the in the heat of the moment it's so hard not to say stealing even though if I was if I was writing an article [TS]

  I was writing a script for a video I would never let that slip in there I would never say stealing. [TS]

  But isn't that just because you're being a bit wishy washy and like when you hear a policeman interviewed on. [TS]

  News that have a say. The robber ran away as I always say the suspected offender decamped in an easterly direction. [TS]

  But aren't you just being a bit soft I mean is it not actually stealing I think it isn't stealing right because if it [TS]

  were it would have been like a hierarchy of crimes. [TS]

  Stealing is the worst thing that infringement because stealing implies that the newspaper not only copied my video [TS]

  but they also took money right out of my wallet [TS]

  and in infringement means that you know because of their use of my video I may have lost out on earnings from those [TS]

  those views right or from licensing fees but that's different from actually a gun minding my own business [TS]

  and suddenly I'm down money because of their actions. For that I think I really do think it's. [TS]

  Because copyright is kind of getting everywhere. [TS]

  You know it affects more parts of technology I think I feel like it is important to try to establish in infringing as a [TS]

  word to use to describe a particular kind of activity it is not stealing. It's not the same. [TS]

  So OK that was that was my second point. OK are you bullied clarify for you but that is clarified. [TS]

  You know I think you're being a bit overly cautious but you know that's one of your defining quality. [TS]

  OK and I'm comfortable with that and you make you case. Yes thanks let's take anymore feedback. [TS]

  Well I don't have this next one exactly feedback but I want to tell you that I took your recommendation [TS]

  and I watched the people vs George Lucas movie get here we could review a quick review I would say it is enjoyable [TS]

  but it is also terribly uncomfortable to watch because it might strike a little too close to home you know because it's [TS]

  these interviews of people who are getting really obsessed with Star Wars and who were really. [TS]

  Nerving out over a whole bunch of details [TS]

  and watching that kind of thing it just makes me feel like do I look that ridiculous when I get upset about this. [TS]

  I too have gotten into like heated arguments over minute Koreans and the way the film is edited. [TS]

  Like it's it's edited in a way to make it seem really comical [TS]

  and that's why it's also sort of uncomfortable to watch is because like I'm seeing the person on on on [TS]

  and on the film talking about how medical Marines just changed the whole nature of the Star Wars universe [TS]

  and they're really earnest you know but it it is cuts to be a funny movie. [TS]

  So that's why I would say it's it's really uncomfortable to watch but also also in Dr. [TS]

  I said I'm not sure that something I mean it's been a while since I watched [TS]

  and watched highly sure I agree I mean there are a few people who I guess are having fun poked at them when they [TS]

  when they go really over the top and you know dress up as Chewbacca to go to the movies and [TS]

  but I don't always think those people that are really passionate about the film and talk about Mad Koreans [TS]

  and all that. I kind of think maybe so myself and I didn't mind so much but. Two points. It's an interesting point. [TS]

  Yeah I definitely I enjoyed it and I'm glad for the recommendations [TS]

  but I would say that it was it was similar to the Trekkies documentary is this the same kind of thing [TS]

  but for Eric Wright I haven't watched that one yet maybe that's my homework. Yeah I would recommend it. [TS]

  I would recommend it but for me it's that same kind of like enjoyable [TS]

  but slightly uncomfortable because maybe it hits a little too close to home. [TS]

  But anyway so that was I was a little thing I want to follow up on. Thank you for the recommendation. [TS]

  Grange great you have to watch that Bobby Fischer chess one I've been recommending to you [TS]

  but I'll say that as homework another day is on my list as I was talking mentors to watch. Great follow up is that it. [TS]

  Yeah I think that I think that that's up at this time. [TS]

  That's that's good but I don't think I have too much follow up I have. [TS]

  I have listened to a podcast number two and that I think I have any follow up. [TS]

  What to pay to stop listening and complaining and then decide what to do. [TS]

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  What are we talking about what what what what's on your mind. [TS]

  So today I think the thing that I kind of want to talk about [TS]

  and this might be very scatterbrained So what we'll see how it goes. [TS]

  But the thing that I want to talk about is something that has been sort of loosely on my mind for the past two [TS]

  and a half maybe three years and it is the notion of work life balance class balance. Yeah I am. [TS]

  I must say this scares me because I'm not a good person to talk to about work life balance. [TS]

  I mean I'm I'm notoriously by those around me I think I'm very bad at this I think talking to me about where life [TS]

  balance is is like talking to the Cookie Monster about healthy eating and I know I'm not good in this area. [TS]

  You feel that your your work life balance is unbalanced. It is severely unbalanced in favor of work really. Yes. [TS]

  How many videos have you put up on You Tube I think it's getting towards about two thousand. [TS]

  It is a lot it is a lot of video and how many I have to preface this with. [TS]

  It active how many active channels which you say you have that active really active ones. [TS]

  It's about half a dozen but I do have a debt I don't have a bad Doesn't that I think pop videos [TS]

  and I'm bringing a couple back to life in a moment. [TS]

  But anyway yeah I have I have a lot of things on the go [TS]

  but you know that's not why I have a bad work life balance I think if I had just one You Tube channel I would probably [TS]

  have a bad work life but you think it would make no difference. [TS]

  You were just there there would be two thousand videos on that single channel of the supposed to spread it spread [TS]

  across a half dozen Quite possibly I think I mean I think I work a lot because I enjoy it a lot. But anyway. [TS]

  Do you have a good work life balance. [TS]

  So my answer to this is also no [TS]

  but I'm I'm I'm coming at this from the perspective of I think that the whole notion of work life balance is kind of [TS]

  feel good B.S. [TS]

  I'm I I don't think that this is an achievable thing in the way most people mean it [TS]

  when they're talking about work life balance. You're going to have to elaborate. OK. [TS]

  So I think very often [TS]

  when people are talking about work life balance they're kind of talking about you know having it all right you have [TS]

  this this great personal life that is fulfilling with family and friends and activities and hobbies [TS]

  and you are also a person who is excelling in your job right you're doing great work. [TS]

  And I think that people like to talk about work life balance [TS]

  and trying to achieve work life balance because that it is an amazing ideal. [TS]

  It's like the platonic ideal of what you want your life to be. [TS]

  But I think that that scuttles to the side difficult decisions that have to be made about. [TS]

  Now you're going to spend your time [TS]

  and your energy so that that that is the kind of basis of the argument that I kind of want to make today. [TS]

  So I'm trying to be sure to be clear here you are are you talking about the amount of time you dedicate to work versus [TS]

  your life or how successful you can be at one you know you can either be a rubbish friend and family member [TS]

  and a brilliant new chamber a bit of a media to You Tube or and a family friend man. [TS]

  I lay out my analogy partly because this came up with another You Tuber who we know recently [TS]

  and a lot of times people start out sort of not believing me on this [TS]

  and then by the end they can sometimes can convince themselves I want to lay this out [TS]

  and my the analogy that I make is this right let's you know you as a human are able to produce a certain amount of [TS]

  energy and activity sort of like a motor and just for simplicity [TS]

  and math sake let's say that your output is one hundred watts of effort at any particular time. Yeah. [TS]

  And I think that basically the whole scope of human activity falls into the four possible categories that are before [TS]

  you like for one hundred watt light bulbs. OK. And those four light bulbs are labeled family friends health and work. [TS]

  OK And so from my perspective I really truly believe that this analogy is basically true that you have a hundred watts [TS]

  of power that you need to make decisions about how you're going to distribute them across all four of these light bulbs. [TS]

  And so you can have all four of them on at twenty five watts each which is not really great for any of them in [TS]

  particular. Or you can start making decisions about where do you. [TS]

  We want to either focus your energy [TS]

  and then of course that also means making harsh uncomfortable decisions about where you're going to cut from these [TS]

  various light bulbs so that yeah that's that is that is my kind of my kind of statement [TS]

  and I often get people arguing against me that that that's not true at all. [TS]

  To go with that analogy the the criticism I think that would be made of me is as follows. [TS]

  There are people in my life a belief that I should devote my my motor to my work. Lightbulb. [TS]

  Ten hours a day and have it Sean brought into everything I can and then switch that off completely [TS]

  and switch on those other light bulbs and stop worrying about them. [TS]

  But if you have a poor work life balance you are never willing to switch off that work like the hope [TS]

  and that's my problem I can never switch that live off whether I'm just thinking about it I'm thinking about what I [TS]

  want to do tomorrow how I want to change a video or I'm sneakily checking You Tube comments and things like that. [TS]

  So I'm happy to go with your lightbulb [TS]

  and note that I think my definition of work life balance is not how much Gulotta give H.B.O. [TS]

  It's just should you switch certain bulbs off at certain times. [TS]

  Why it is that what you're saying he's saying to us which these ones are for [TS]

  and it sounds like you're more saying I'm going to have my work shining seventy five percent [TS]

  and my family wanted ten percent and that is apparently at these levels as yet host to switching them on and off [TS]

  but this goes to one of your videos that we were talking about the sort of the sum of an infinite series [TS]

  and they have an infinite series of ones and zeroes right that you take the average of that is serious. [TS]

  Yes as I was called and there is yes. OK And Thompson's length is also the analogy. OK tonsils. [TS]

  Look it up on the edge that people are not in the file. [TS]

  Preferably Yes I'm sorry I'll record that now [TS]

  and I don't know a number of people don't use the Internet go to you know dot com slash number five hundred. [TS]

  Exactly as a fan. [TS]

  So the way I'm going to get around your argument about the switching of the motors thing is I'm just going to project a [TS]

  typical week as an infinite series of weeks [TS]

  and reduce your switching to an average if you see what I'm saying right so OK you know you are spending one hundred [TS]

  percent of your eight hour day on work [TS]

  and one hundred percent of the eight hours after work on a family that averages out to be fifty fifty that gets on I'm [TS]

  doing away with your one hundred percent of a thing in a particular time. [TS]

  It is very difficult sometimes to let go of work in moments when you should. [TS]

  Yeah right that is that is not an easy task to do and I have definitely come across that as well. [TS]

  It's it's impossible to watch T.V. [TS]

  With my wife and not to some extent be thinking about potential things that I could do in video [TS]

  or if we're watching something even moderately interesting I could maybe this could be a video [TS]

  and then you're not fully there and it's hard to be present. Absolutely one hundred percent of the time. [TS]

  So my argument is that even if you even if you could make a switch between fifty percent work in the day fifty percent [TS]

  family at night. [TS]

  If you are choosing a fifty fifty distribution and now you have allocated zero percent to friends [TS]

  and zero percent to health. Yeah right. So you still have to. [TS]

  You still you have to do this negotiation between views for areas [TS]

  and I think it is it is uncomfortable to try to think about your time [TS]

  and attention in these ways because nobody wants to give up on any of those categories. But I think I think. [TS]

  It is best to make really clear decisions about what are you going to try to do. [TS]

  How much are your friendships worth to you. [TS]

  How much is your family worth to you how much is worth work work worth to you and make decisions about that. [TS]

  And I guess one of the reasons why it's it is just been on my mind in particular this month is because I've been really [TS]

  aware that for basically the past two years my health light bulb has been at literally zero nothing at all done in the [TS]

  realm of health and that was a very conscious decision [TS]

  when I was starting my You Tube career like I was actually thinking about it in terms of these four categories [TS]

  and I had discussions with my wife about it [TS]

  and it was like we're just going to kind of ignore the health one while we're in this sort of rocky transition to self [TS]

  employment. So you kind of said to yourself you know I'm not I'm going to not eat well or X. [TS]

  or You know I exercise and you made a conscious decision to stay [TS]

  and let things go away from you just sort of said I'm doing you know I'm going to be unhealthy that that is exactly [TS]

  right. That was that's extraordinary isn't it. [TS]

  But I mean I am unhealthy I am that person so I always tell myself I'm not going. OK OK right. [TS]

  But so this is this is exactly what I am. [TS]

  I'm very interested in sort of the science around decision making and cognition. [TS]

  And there's a lot of evidence that points to those kinds of thoughts in the back of your mind that sort of like feeling [TS]

  guilty that you are not acting in a healthy way that that really erodes decisionmaking in other areas over a long [TS]

  period of time and so I can honestly say that it was kind of it was kind of a liberating experience to be able to say. [TS]

  Look I'm just going to this lightbulb is going off at some point in the future we're going to reevaluate that situation. [TS]

  And for me that is now this time you realize this isn't a good thing that I look like. [TS]

  Like deciding to do something that's bad doesn't make it good for you so you can make you make it sound like a crazy [TS]

  person. You are the one making the venom not me not my regular lineup. [TS]

  What I mean is is that I was I was choosing not to feel guilty about a lack of exercise or particular food choices. [TS]

  I wasn't making a positive decision that said you know chocolate cake every day all day. [TS]

  Right that's a different kind of thing. [TS]

  But if if I was just grabbing like some junk food for a snack I wasn't going to feel guilty about that. [TS]

  And but that doesn't stop those calories going in your body or developing or white going on you know not at all right. [TS]

  I totally agree right and that is that is like a consequence that has to be paid for a particular decision. Yeah. [TS]

  And also over roughly the past two years so we're talking like my huge career I would say that my. [TS]

  A friend light bulb has been turned down to maybe like five percent of energy which is shamefully low [TS]

  and I feel guilty about not having spent enough time with people that I would want to spend time with [TS]

  and also my wife what my wife lightbulb has been lower than it should have been right sort of the family light bulb. [TS]

  Yeah but that was all because I was putting a lot of energy into the work [TS]

  and I honestly don't think if I hadn't made the conscious decisions to take her. [TS]

  I'm down putting energy into these other areas and not feeling guilty about it. [TS]

  I'm not sure that I would have been successful on You Tube in the necessary time frame [TS]

  and I don't think that my decisions are necessarily good advice for generally for people to take right on. [TS]

  I'm not sitting here and advocating everybody should put all of their energy into work [TS]

  but I was in a particular situation where I Needed You Tube to become self-sustaining within a particular period of [TS]

  time and I don't think if I had divided my mental [TS]

  and physical energy across a whole bunch of fields that that would have happened in the right time frame. [TS]

  OK that is kind of my thought but I'm not. [TS]

  My point is that I think under certain circumstances it is helpful to think about things in a very conscious very [TS]

  deliberate way and to eliminate guilt in other areas of your life. If you need to focus on one area very intensely. [TS]

  Well I'm not buying that you're not buying it tell me want to buy. [TS]

  Well I understand the logic of what you're saying [TS]

  and it sounds familiar to some things that I say in my life you know I often make the argument that my obsession with [TS]

  work is the reason I've enjoyed a modicum of success with my work [TS]

  and that's kind of what you're saying you're saying you know because I've devoted so much energy to work I've become [TS]

  more successful. [TS]

  But I think deciding not to be guilty about neglecting important things doesn't change the fact you are neglecting them [TS]

  and when you neglect things you hum them. [TS]

  Yes So if you have a car and you decide not to service or to pour oil in or anything for a while but you make. [TS]

  A conscious decision not to feel bad about that. [TS]

  That doesn't mean that eventually the engine is not going to seize up and the car will break [TS]

  and I think if you neglect your health [TS]

  or you neglect your relationships just because you're not feeling guilty about it doesn't mean you're not damaging them [TS]

  and I think that is what people like us should bear in mind [TS]

  and I find this very funny because I often have conversations like this with fellow You Tube is [TS]

  when I see how obsessive they are and I say you know what you should think about the other aspects of your life [TS]

  and the funny thing is I then don't practice what I preach [TS]

  and I'm probably the worst offender preaching preaching is not going to do the processing. [TS]

  So I don't think I'm being highlighted is one of the not I [TS]

  but I think I think what I just said I think just because just because you're conscious of that neglect [TS]

  and you've made a decision to neglect it doesn't mean that neglect couldn't be harmful. Do you disagree. [TS]

  No I completely agree [TS]

  and it's one of the areas where I think that analogy with light bulbs doesn't pan out perfectly because I can't I can't [TS]

  remember where I first heard this analogy [TS]

  but talking about interpersonal relationships as kind of like bank accounts in the sense that you know if you spend [TS]

  time with someone you're kind of investing into this friendship bank account and there may be times [TS]

  when you're not available or you're not being a good friend [TS]

  and you can kind of draw to some extent on those previous investments. [TS]

  But at some point the bank account runs out right [TS]

  and then it is a redeemable at that point right you reach like friendship bankruptcy. Yeah. [TS]

  And so I I am totally with you on this. [TS]

  I agree [TS]

  and I think that part of making hard decisions in life is coming to grips with areas in your life which you're sort of [TS]

  willing to possibly have damage happen. [TS]

  And that's why [TS]

  when I was focusing mainly on You Tube You know I'm going to probably through the course of conversation have a bunch [TS]

  of numbers that don't add up to one hundred percent. [TS]

  But but let's let's just say that basically like eighty percent of my effort was on work [TS]

  and sort of twenty percent was on family you know because right I I am very happy with my marriage [TS]

  and not willing to risk long term damage to the marriage. [TS]

  Yeah right and so that lightbulb can't be zero because that like that is consequences that I'm not willing to accept. [TS]

  But in a in a period where I have a lot of a lot of things that need to get done in a limited amount of time [TS]

  and energy to do them if I'm not willing to make any sacrifices on the family side of things [TS]

  and I need to have an enormous amount of energy into the work side of things. Something has to get cut. [TS]

  And that's that's where I sort of find this this analogy is useful [TS]

  and in the thing precisely the thing you sayings vs the thing that you think is the impossible dream is to be hugely [TS]

  successful at work and maintain those other. The aspects of life. [TS]

  Hugely successful is what yeah to the best friend in the world to the best has been in the world to be a rich athlete [TS]

  with incredible Six-Pack and making the best videos in the whole world. [TS]

  Yeah it's physically impossible to do everything. [TS]

  I honestly think that that is the case now that there are some people who have great success in very many fields [TS]

  and I'm always very interested to read about people who have become successful and what they get up to. [TS]

  But I think that that is that is definitely the case you can't be the best friend in the world all of your friends [TS]

  and the best husband and the best at work. An incredibly healthy all the same time. [TS]

  Yeah of course you can't that's what's called balance work life balance right as you decide how much weight to [TS]

  apportion to the different things right. [TS]

  But I guess I guess what I'm saying is that apportioning equal balance to all things ends up in kind of mediocre [TS]

  results in all of them. Yeah and I think that that is totally fine. [TS]

  Right I do not begrudge anyone who says I twenty five across the board. [TS]

  I think that is a totally reasonable decision that you think it leads to mediocrity. [TS]

  I think it is very hard to be exceptional if if you are dedicating equal energy across the board. [TS]

  But I also think that that's that is perfectly reasonable to do. [TS]

  You know it's you know it's just a very I think people should just be aware of the decisions that they're making. [TS]

  Right [TS]

  and so if you if whatever the field of work that you're in if you want to try to be incredibly successful at that field [TS]

  you're going to have to make in the beginning difficult decisions about what other parts of your life [TS]

  or you're going to cut. And I get. [TS]

  I don't know if it's frustrated but when people talk about you know wanting to do something but not not recognizing [TS]

  or not being willing to give up other areas of their life that's that's sort of frustrating for me to observe [TS]

  and I think that that thinking about those areas very consciously is helpful. Right. [TS]

  You know if if you're not willing to make the sacrifices then I think you should also not feel guilty about not doing [TS]

  whatever it is you want to do right becoming an Olympic skier. [TS]

  Don't feel guilty that you're not working on your Olympic skiing if you've made like a twenty five percent across the [TS]

  board decision for how to allocate your energy. No pain no gain. [TS]

  Yeah I guess so but I like this decision matrix I like no pain no gain is vague right. [TS]

  Like no nurse this isn't matrix is really specific and easy to understand here. [TS]

  Here's a board here's some dials if you want to turn up any of the one dial all the other dials turn down right now to [TS]

  decide where you're going to go with that. [TS]

  And again as it has been on my mind this month in particular because I do I do feel like I have finally gotten to the [TS]

  stage where I can turn down my business dial a little because I need to turn the health dial back up [TS]

  and I have been very aware of that this month where. [TS]

  He's now sort of changed my diet to try to be healthier and I've taken out more time to exercise. He joined a gym. [TS]

  Well actually I have I have yes I have joined a gym is the short answer is this the first time you've ever joined a gym. [TS]

  No it is not the first time I ever joined a gym because I used to join a gym and then feel badly about not going [TS]

  and prior very very prior to my You Tube career I used to have a more across the board setting of my priorities [TS]

  and I used to like cycle around London all the time [TS]

  and I used to have no engaging hobbies unlike all of that just went away. [TS]

  You know as as You Tube took up more and more time so when you would like that [TS]

  when you were more across the board were you happy. [TS]

  OK that's a difficult question to answer because the straight up answer is yes [TS]

  but I can also say that I was always trying to do additional work on the side which might be something that we talk [TS]

  about more in detail in the future [TS]

  but I had like a number of little side businesses that I was trying all through my professional life. [TS]

  And you know I was I was dedicating to them perhaps an insufficient amount of time to make them successful [TS]

  and they weren't. [TS]

  And that's because I was busy going around London on my photography hobby right taking pictures of all kinds of stuff [TS]

  like if you look me up on flicker like you can see a record of all of these pictures that I took [TS]

  and then you can see that it just abruptly stops. [TS]

  And that's and that's partly because I just have not had time or energy for photography hobby. [TS]

  Now that you've tweeted us. Yeah you know for this past couple years you've been you choose I'm ashamed. I hear yeah. [TS]

  I would say that I am I would say without a doubt I would rather be where I am now [TS]

  and having to kind of claw back some of the damage that was caused from ignoring my health for a while then be where I [TS]

  was before with a more even balance across the board. You are a man of science that a man of logic. [TS]

  Surely you don't think it is a good way to live to neglect your body for two years and then fix your body up [TS]

  and neglect something. Surely you must see that that's not the ideal way to operate. [TS]

  I think I see the problem there is with your your word ideal and I like I totally agree. [TS]

  I would rather have the level of fitness that I had five years ago. Then the level of fitness that I have now. [TS]

  But I am realistic [TS]

  and I think that I would not be where I am today if I had not made decisions about sacrificing time particularly in [TS]

  health. You know and also when the friends category. Right. [TS]

  But ideally I would not want to do that like I sit here today [TS]

  and I can say that I am like genuinely sad that some friends that I used to be in touch with more that I'm not in touch. [TS]

  It's now and that's a very hard thing to ever fix. [TS]

  But I guess the ideal test for the thesis you are putting to us today is to look at the most successful people in the [TS]

  world and say that a fat divorced and have no friends. [TS]

  That is an excellent question because on that because on the same as you [TS]

  and because I have you know I neglected my health and relationships because of my obsession with work. [TS]

  I kind of justify it the same way you do and I say well any success I've had is because of it [TS]

  and I don't know if you if you spent two hours a day or less thinking about work [TS]

  or switched off your computer earlier and went out with your mates and went for a run would you not be successful. [TS]

  Really this gets into some complicated things about the nature of work [TS]

  and the kind of work that I think we do in that that many people who are self employed do it necessitates that that [TS]

  particular lightbulb is turned up higher than it would normally be. Yeah. And so I agree with that. I agree with that. [TS]

  You know for example I have spoken with a number of friends who are not self employed [TS]

  and the general consensus of what everybody loves about the job is that [TS]

  when the workday is over they don't care anymore. Yeah it doesn't matter. [TS]

  They don't have to think about it anymore because they'll go in tomorrow and then the work will be there and they [TS]

  and they are paid to work a particular period of time and then days over and it doesn't matter anymore [TS]

  and that's a huge psychological relief that you give up if there is theoretically always something more that you can be [TS]

  doing. And the other thing those people forget is like I have a lot of friends that work in. [TS]

  Tell me how stressful that is. [TS]

  But if the camera breaks that's someone else's job to fix and if we're not to go out [TS]

  and if the computer stops working that's the I.T. [TS]

  Department and someone else does this and but when you work on your own and everything is your problem. [TS]

  Yeah and those problems never go away. [TS]

  Yeah this is again first world problems rather well so we are one people businesses. [TS]

  But my my point is that you know I don't know exactly where this number is [TS]

  but I think if you are a one person business of any kind in order to keep that running I don't think you know just to [TS]

  pick a number that the work lightbulb can ever be below fifty watts. [TS]

  Right it can't be below sort of half your energy no matter what you do because everything is your responsibility you [TS]

  know in a one person business so one thing I want to come back to this analogy and I know I know that at the start [TS]

  and then you pulled a grandee series on me in coming back would may have it [TS]

  but the thing I think is the debate to be had for people like us is can do we switch the bulb off. [TS]

  Do we switch the work of seven pm or eight pm and switch to the wife you know your wife Bob on all your friends album. [TS]

  And can you ever turn that work bulb off because that's the thing that's put to mail all the time by my math the [TS]

  critics in my life it's not that I work too much. [TS]

  In fact said to me I work more hours if you want to wake up early or work like I don't mind but have a stop time [TS]

  and partly that's for maintenance of your relationships and your friendships and your health. [TS]

  Isn't that the argument that's put to me again I'm making other people's I don't know here is that doing that is good [TS]

  for your workers well it gives you kind of a refresh that's healthy to stop thinking about work for a while and [TS]

  when you're talking about these light bulbs you know I'm sort of imagining even [TS]

  when you're at the movies with with me to see G.P. Greyer. [TS]

  In mates at the pub that your work will be stewed dimly on you know ten watts [TS]

  and the thing I think may be healthy is switch that powerful together if you can. [TS]

  Well I think the thing that I'm about to say you will sympathise with which is that I do not really have the ability to [TS]

  do that at this stage. Yeah right I I am not quite able to do that. [TS]

  I'm I'm going to guess I'm going to make a guess about a personality here [TS]

  but I'm going to guess that you are not a person who plays video games. [TS]

  I am not OK today many years ago but I just can't get into them anymore. That's true. [TS]

  Yeah so I'm still the person who plays video games. [TS]

  OK And IMO I am very much aware that one of the reasons why I do still like to play video games is that it's one of the [TS]

  very few activities where I can say that I'm genuinely not thinking about work. [TS]

  I will play and it is totally absorbing and I feel like I don't have. [TS]

  Any kind of work thoughts going on in the background and that that is enjoyable [TS]

  and is one of the reasons why I don't have benches on Reddit in a few places but almost always a day [TS]

  or two after I release a video which is always a huge push at the very end to get that done. [TS]

  I basically take two days and I'm not doing anything I'm just going to sit here on this computer [TS]

  and just play a game you know for the next day or two like this is this is my weekend now [TS]

  and I have to like reset my brain. [TS]

  OK [TS]

  but I find that the no other activity would do that even if I preferred that it would you know if if I took like a mini [TS]

  holiday with the Mrs I would still be kind of thinking about you know what are all the comments that are coming in [TS]

  where did it get linked to how is it being received. [TS]

  God what's the next thing going to be the next thing right which is always a huge concern of course now the very irony [TS]

  of this this whole situation is that the games that I play. [TS]

  Most all of variation of some kind of work simulator I do not play like a first person shooter games [TS]

  but I play a game that's in the same category right here in the G.P. [TS]

  Grew the bigger the game where you have to make a You Tube video before time runs out. [TS]

  Yeah it's like you know Sim City you are the MER right. [TS]

  Or symbolisation you're in charge of this whole civilization now micromanage a hundred cities right. [TS]

  Or the one I've been playing recently which is very good I recommend is prison architect [TS]

  and like you're in charge of a prison right. You have it it is very good. When I found recently is very engaging. [TS]

  But that's my only escape from thinking about work to some extent at any time is basically by playing a virtual work [TS]

  game which I am sort of aware is is a strange thing to do [TS]

  but it really does it just it like it absorbs that part of my brain completely and like here's some pretend work. [TS]

  Go play with that [TS]

  and that's the only kind of way that I can get a break from thinking about my actual work to some extent all the time. [TS]

  Let me ask you this and I have to if it's too personal just tell me but it begs the question [TS]

  and those around you you know family friends loved ones and all that. What did they think about your work life balance. [TS]

  So I would say speaking on behalf of my wife. [TS]

  She is a great woman [TS]

  and I think there is there is no way that I could have gotten through this sort of period of trying to become self [TS]

  employed and working on You Tube if it wasn't for her incredible understanding [TS]

  and I am very lucky that I married a woman who is very perfectly happy with time to herself [TS]

  and also is really aware of needing to to kind of leave me be at certain very intense work. [TS]

  Periods so for a sort of reference it earlier but whenever a video comes out the sort of three [TS]

  or four days prior to that are the busiest I ever am because I'm just doing all the animation and those are huge [TS]

  and this is this is not an exaggeration. [TS]

  Those are usually four days of I wake up and I'm animating or editing the audio until I fall asleep [TS]

  and I sort of do that four days in a row and my wife knows she's just not going to see me during those times [TS]

  and if she does see me I'm not a very chatty person. [TS]

  Yeah and she's OK with that [TS]

  and I think if I had if I had married somebody else I think that could be really bad for a relationship over the long [TS]

  run. [TS]

  So I I think it depends a lot on who you surround yourself with [TS]

  and some people are going to be OK with kind of disappearing for long periods of time [TS]

  and sometimes it's not OK And I think I probably I don't want to get into too in specifics [TS]

  but like one of the more difficult times was that I usually spend the summers with my parents in North Carolina. [TS]

  So I go to the states and I visit them. [TS]

  And this last summer the whole suburb will project my sort of fund raising project. Yeah. [TS]

  They happened to coincide with the time that I was spending with my family you know for a dedicated several weeks. [TS]

  There's a big overlap in the Venn diagram. [TS]

  Yeah and normally you know my parents don't live here and so I'm very glad [TS]

  and I feel very fortunate that I can go see them for several weeks at a time [TS]

  but that stubble period just happened to be an incredibly intense period of work. [TS]

  Yeah that just soaked up all of my time and so I was in a I was in America you know maybe it was for for six weeks [TS]

  and you know four and a half five of those weeks I was not really available to the people around me. [TS]

  And again my parents are great. [TS]

  They sort of they understand [TS]

  but that's that is a totally difficult time because in my mind it's like OK we're here I'm supposed to be turning up [TS]

  the family light bulbs to like very high right. I'm physically here it's a dedicated strength at such a time. [TS]

  Yeah but such is the nature of work that sometimes it will it will invade those times [TS]

  and there's just nothing that you can do about that. And yeah it's it can definitely be very hard. [TS]

  Do you ever wish you were back you know nine to five or something on that. No I don't I don't. [TS]

  Even with all the even with all the trade off that I've had to make I'm very happy to be where I am now. [TS]

  But it's I think it's just it has been difficult [TS]

  and it has shaken my faith in the existence of a real work life balance. [TS]

  Even though I'm sort of trying to even out those knobs to the best of my ability at this stage at least with regards to [TS]

  the health knob of turning that one back up a little bit put into the gym lift weights run. [TS]

  I'm just I can't imagine you in the gym just if you may for just a second but what do you think I do in the gym. [TS]

  I definitely think he'll listen to podcasts. I don't I don't listen to pod briefly. [TS]

  Yeah he must have some kind of electronic device involved somehow [TS]

  and you know of course of course right on there with my i Phone I'm keeping track of everything on my i Phone in the [TS]

  listening listening to terrible usually electronica kind of music. None yet that surprises me. [TS]

  All right so no no no podcasts [TS]

  and you should use the kind of I can imagine you getting into the weights I can imagine you just in some pretty heavy [TS]

  weights lifting weights yes. Pretty heavy no one at this stage but yeah that's that's what I'm doing I sort of. [TS]

  As you can imagine I spent a lot of time trying to research making changes to a more healthy lifestyle before I decided [TS]

  to do anything. [TS]

  It's like well I don't know anything about this right let like let me actually research stuff [TS]

  and I came I came basically to the conclusion that if you if you want to try to turn around things in a relatively [TS]

  short period of time the best way to do it is with strength training which surprised me because I would have been the [TS]

  idiot. [TS]

  You know being like stupid sexy Flanders' I'm running on the treadmill [TS]

  and turns out like no that doesn't really help you in a shorter term right that might be good in the long term [TS]

  but not not in the short term [TS]

  and then the second thing is they get all of these crazy diets all over the whole world of all of these variations of [TS]

  things that you can do I feel like well what are some what is science have to say about this [TS]

  and the thing that is common to like every crazy diet in the whole world is basically hey you know all those [TS]

  carbohydrates you eat. [TS]

  Don't eat them right there like the worst possible thing that you can eat [TS]

  and so basically those are the two changes that I made like I'm trying to do weights at the gym very very slowly. [TS]

  Yeah [TS]

  and I'm trying to cut carbohydrates out of my diet which is way harder as I said I was very high because they're also I [TS]

  say yummy but they're oh so everywhere. [TS]

  Yes that is that is the thing is is I never quite realize how much I eat that is basically pasta or bread but that [TS]

  but this is where like just to briefly touch on that analogy again. [TS]

  I am super aware of this month that while I've been making this transition my my energy [TS]

  and my ability to do concentrated bursts of work is much lower [TS]

  and that's partly that's partly why I'm very happy to be doing this pod cast with you because it's a different it's not [TS]

  as as incredibly intense as making the videos is [TS]

  and I've also totally cheated by picking an easier topic for myself to do. Hopefully. By the end of this month. [TS]

  But I'm again I'm really consciously aware that since I have I have upped the health percentage one of the consequences [TS]

  of that might be I might not get a video out by the end of January which if I had not made this decision. [TS]

  I'm pretty confident I would have a video out by the end of January but there like there are tradeoffs in life [TS]

  and this is this is one of those tradeoffs that I have to up the health the health percentage [TS]

  and the only place to take energy from is work so that's that's sort of where I am right now. [TS]

  I say in the gym Yeah yeah so do you in the gym take care. [TS]