0:00:00hello hi John
0:00:07hi Merlin how's it going well i'm proud
0:00:15to be an American who huh oh well at
0:00:18least I know I'm free
0:00:19oh no I like that song i'm proud to live
0:00:23in the land i love and that gave its
0:00:25life for me was that I guess I don't
0:00:28have all the lyrics that's pretty good
0:00:29song
0:00:31yeah it had it came under fire a lot
0:00:33well I'm trying to you know get away
0:00:35from the way to generate criticism or
0:00:37whatever how it got used but I i like
0:00:39the like the tune the tone the tune the
0:00:42tone i feel like it's been helpful as
0:00:48they got a lot of crazy names today I
0:00:49feel like that came under fire just like
0:00:51just like the man who composed well how
0:00:55I'm trying to say is like the I mean the
0:00:57there's the famous line from the song
0:00:59but there's a reason we sing that line
0:01:01and it's because it's really catchy it's
0:01:04not what you expect in a chorus it's
0:01:06hooky well and what it does is I i I'm
0:01:09tired i mean i don't have the song front
0:01:11of me I don't have a guitar but I feel
0:01:12like it starts on the one chord let me
0:01:17ask you if you did have a guitar right
0:01:18now would you be capable of playing it I
0:01:21haven't been used to be restoring no no
0:01:24I don't mean would you be capable of
0:01:26playing the guitar but would you be able
0:01:28to play i'm proud to be an American is
0:01:31it a song with in your repertoire now
0:01:34but you know how it is when you do
0:01:37enough like playing well we've talked
0:01:38endlessly about playing along with
0:01:39records and how you get a feel in your
0:01:42hands for like when it's 24 and when
0:01:44it's 250 you know that feeling your
0:01:47hands if you like you know what I mean
0:01:48oh right yeah it's like the feeling of
0:01:50victory
0:01:51mmm the green one in the morning
0:01:54Thank You 105 but I feel like I feel
0:01:58like it's probably like a pretty much
0:02:00like a one-in-four kind of cadence for
0:02:02most of it's not it's not super
0:02:04interesting but the arrangement and the
0:02:06fact that it starts on that ago i'm
0:02:07proud to be an American
0:02:09it's it's just a it's very catchy catchy
0:02:12tone yeah
0:02:13it is the day's cachito yeah but that's
0:02:16how I am I'm that's I'm that proud
0:02:20oh that's nice yeah yeah i think i am
0:02:24too good
0:02:25yeah well let's start off this show with
0:02:29some American pride did you get tickets
0:02:31to the private property lose em coming
0:02:36up on four minutes after the hour we're
0:02:38going to talk about pride pride pride is
0:02:41a it's a front topic it is you know it's
0:02:44one of the seven deadly sins is that
0:02:46right yeah
0:02:47pride goeth before a fall huh
0:02:51Oh actually was a technically I think
0:02:53it's pride goeth before destruction and
0:02:55a haughty spirit before a fall
0:02:57is that right yeah i think it's Romans
0:02:58uh so why do I have it was just a
0:03:03condensation of of that it's sort of
0:03:05like a maid the trains run on time type
0:03:07situation I think we just trying to
0:03:10explain that and every time I try to
0:03:11explain that anecdote that you told I I
0:03:13don't tell it with the ferocity and
0:03:15clarity that you do because it it filled
0:03:19me with so much joy it's so great but
0:03:21it's like explaining a pun
0:03:22yeah it's like going to go see if I said
0:03:25you had a beautiful body would you hold
0:03:29it against me see it's a double entendre
0:03:33yes see that they were actually saying
0:03:36that he made the trains run on time
0:03:38it's that now we know that way if you
0:03:41give me that obviously believe me
0:03:43yeah absolutely I I that anecdote made
0:03:49me cry when I first heard it and then it
0:03:52made me cry when I retold it and it was
0:03:55it was one of those things like a like
0:03:57you know that you hear something to make
0:03:58you cry man here again it makes you
0:04:00crying
0:04:01there were there were three or four
0:04:04three or four times that I told that
0:04:07story a where it made me cry before I
0:04:10finally like got right when we got like
0:04:13tempered two questions first of all we
0:04:17were crying in different ways and second
0:04:19is your daughter there no now was I
0:04:23crying in different ways no my
0:04:24daughter's you can take the first
0:04:25question first
0:04:26was I crying in different ways yes I
0:04:29mean I was crying with like i was i was
0:04:33crying tears of joy at the ludicrous
0:04:37business of of humanity
0:04:42I mean it just seemed like it was an
0:04:43anecdote that made me that just that
0:04:46just said so much it's spelled so much
0:04:49it's in line with that the reason i
0:04:51think one reason to keep conflating our
0:04:52getting it wrong in thinking it was
0:04:53Stalin is it's very much in line with
0:04:55that classic black russian sense of
0:04:59humor
0:05:00yeah you know what I mean we talked we
0:05:02talked about this but there it's so in
0:05:03line with that it's like it's such a
0:05:04perfect instance of that kind of black
0:05:06humor
0:05:07yeah then and and yet I and I don't know
0:05:11it just makes so much sense it so it's
0:05:14so hilarious
0:05:15I i am i've been out of coffee
0:05:20Oh to get out of coffee
0:05:24well see this is the thing I don't worry
0:05:26my toilet paper on amazon prime
0:05:28ok I wait that's not i'm sorry that
0:05:31sounded like it don't take the hit you
0:05:33know that's what I can get your attitude
0:05:35copy but surely look at me she was a big
0:05:39ok something like the logicians might
0:05:42call that a non sequitur but what if you
0:05:44know just a little dislocated
0:05:46no I where I had to go to the bathroom I
0:05:49go I don't shop very well or often and I
0:05:55don't here's the thing
0:05:57Oh generally i get my coffee for free
0:06:01because it's in a swag bags
0:06:07oh yeah right right like anymore if i go
0:06:10to an event there they give you a pound
0:06:13of coffee and a pair of like cheap
0:06:17sunglasses and whatever it is indeed a
0:06:20USB Drive ever John I I i have a few of
0:06:25them hanging on the doorknob right in
0:06:27in view of where I'm sitting I can see
0:06:28like four USB drives hanging on lanyards
0:06:32but yeah pound copy is typically the
0:06:35gift that you give someone that you're
0:06:38not paying very well that if they come
0:06:41to to be part of your presentation and
0:06:44so I usually wait around until I'm
0:06:48invited to something like that I get my
0:06:51pound of coffee and then there's always
0:06:54another pound of coffee laying around
0:06:56that somebody didn't want that at the
0:06:58end of the at the end of the event when
0:07:00I'm the last person to leave the
0:07:01dressing room like numbers that pound of
0:07:04coffee right and then somebody typically
0:07:07there are a couple of things that were
0:07:08they give you a pound of coffee and a
0:07:10bottle of wine and I usually stand in
0:07:14the middle of the room at events like
0:07:15that and I say trade my bottle of wine
0:07:17for a pound of coffee LOL sounds all
0:07:20trading places everybody yeah i'll tap
0:07:23tonight so somebody's like what what
0:07:25and so so I'll typically come home from
0:07:28an event like that with with the with
0:07:30the patio but you know bag of coffee
0:07:32like a I'm sorry a bag of bags of coffee
0:07:36and that will you know part of me along
0:07:39until the next event so but I had run
0:07:41out so this could also be a lot of the
0:07:44bellwether that maybe you should do more
0:07:46events exactly right i was thinking that
0:07:48same thing like wait a minute i haven't
0:07:50been to Portland in a month and a half
0:07:52and then portland is famous for this
0:07:55movie i'll give you up a pound of coffee
0:07:57you know just for showing up a bridal
0:08:02shower huh
0:08:03no I've never been to a bridal shower
0:08:06i'm not invited to this but anyway so go
0:08:08ahead you're about to say something
0:08:10no I just did coffees one of those
0:08:11things that I really trying not to run
0:08:16out of ya is one of those things like I
0:08:18mean the obvious once you get your
0:08:19toilet paper and paper towels and your
0:08:21whatnots or your you know milk for the
0:08:23kid that I i usually have one in the
0:08:25chamber you don't want to run out of
0:08:27what not especially you heard that
0:08:29phrase three is 22 is one and one is
0:08:30none
0:08:31it seems like it's sort of good
0:08:35schenectady to the phrase one boy can do
0:08:39the work of one boy two boys can do the
0:08:41work of half a boy and three boys do no
0:08:44work at all
0:08:44that's terrific mmm that's so good i got
0:08:48some grandfather shit right now i think
0:08:49that the phrase that I was citing is I
0:08:52think it comes from the world of
0:08:54material like you know you're the what
0:08:58is it sergeant sale or whatever like you
0:09:00you're that you're the supply person
0:09:01sure and I learned about it you're
0:09:03serian yeah right yes Aaron I learned
0:09:06about it from the Pakistan videographer
0:09:08cgpgrey whose videos I think you've seen
0:09:11and and he says that when you have
0:09:14important things in your life that it's
0:09:17an excellent principal and something's
0:09:19really it's really stuck in my head
0:09:20because that the idea being that too is
0:09:2211 0 and 0 is negative 1 right
0:09:25yeah 322 is one is none and if you think
0:09:28about it in terms of let's say you've
0:09:30got you've got deployed like you got a
0:09:31base somewhere and if you have the
0:09:34moonbase well I could be yeah sure you
0:09:37more than ever more than ever in that
0:09:38case but let's say you've got I don't
0:09:40know arbitrary let's see about three
0:09:41generators that are available to like
0:09:45run the unit need this one generator
0:09:47well you have to basically act like that
0:09:48one generator is broken because it once
0:09:52it's broken you really only you won't
0:09:53have three anymore you have to you have
0:09:55to ensure this gets dead so to get to
0:09:57the bottom of the stack it to one is
0:09:58none which means that once you have one
0:10:00bag of coffee left you essentially have
0:10:01no coffee left sure you're screwed well
0:10:03just from a supply standpoint I is it
0:10:05you know it's sticky saying I like yours
0:10:07too about the boys that's good
0:10:09well this is what this is why i always
0:10:11think uh I always think in increments of
0:10:13four million dollars interesting because
0:10:17if you had four million dollars and this
0:10:20applies to four hundred dollars but I
0:10:22like to think of it in terms of four
0:10:24million dollars because my daydream who
0:10:26write yeah but you have four million
0:10:29dollars you put two million dollars
0:10:31immediately somewhere that you can't get
0:10:33it he put it
0:10:35somebody put into bonds or you put it
0:10:37give to barry bonds he you do something
0:10:40with two million of it half of it where
0:10:43it immediately goes away
0:10:44into some special place where you
0:10:47stopped but mostly in a special
0:10:49unattainable money whole unattainable
0:10:51money hole but but in particular you do
0:10:53that only so that you stop thinking
0:10:55about it as belonging to you to my
0:10:58daughters gone so now you have two
0:11:00million dollars ok so now forced to for
0:11:03us to exactly and then with the two
0:11:05million dollars then you divide the 2
0:11:07million dollars so that 1 million
0:11:09dollars is in it you still think of it
0:11:12as belonging to you as being like
0:11:14accessible money but it's in it very
0:11:16difficult to play it's like in savings
0:11:20its deeper there's little deeper levels
0:11:23you put a million dollars into like deep
0:11:25freeze it's not all the way into I don't
0:11:27miss any more in your mind but it's in
0:11:29free floors 22 is 12 as one and now
0:11:33within one then you start having you
0:11:37know then you start having the one and
0:11:39into i guess i would put it into thirds
0:11:43right one-third is what you're living on
0:11:46one third is your money and one-third is
0:11:51your money that you are thinking about
0:11:54what i'm going to do with this money and
0:11:58then one third of that you find a way to
0:12:00give it away
0:12:00wow you should write an e-book is that
0:12:04does that is that ebook level of of like
0:12:08think think technology is just my
0:12:10opinion
0:12:11I'll tell you why because it's not an
0:12:13idea that really needs like a 300-page
0:12:15book or like a whole like blu-ray like
0:12:18that is it's a larger than pamphlet
0:12:20sized idea it's a family fun pop it's a
0:12:22pamphlet sized idea but the
0:12:24implementation of that idea is like
0:12:26really that's where the texture is and
0:12:28and but you wouldn't necessarily put on
0:12:29something to Waldenbooks because i don't
0:12:31think they have all the books anymore i
0:12:33don't suppose we're going to sell your
0:12:34gold where those Christopher Walken
0:12:36walking accept that this is it gets
0:12:40guide has been on my ass or did they
0:12:43only sell throw not anything that's
0:12:47hardly a courtesy lab Maya
0:12:51but ah so I my mom a frequent character
0:12:57on this podcast my mom said you're out
0:13:01of coffee
0:13:01she came by the house you're out of
0:13:04coffee she said yeah I know she said
0:13:06bartels which is our locally owned
0:13:11drugstore chain here
0:13:12yeah she said bartels has a sale on
0:13:15coffee
0:13:18it's like 499 a pound for a brand of
0:13:23coffee that's pretty darn good
0:13:24that's pretty good and I was like whoa
0:13:27that's pretty good and she said you want
0:13:28me to get you something I said yeah she
0:13:30said well I can't go to my bar towels
0:13:32because i already got i already use the
0:13:35coupon I OIC she got to wear a fake
0:13:38mustache or something yeah that's right
0:13:40they all know me there but i can find
0:13:43another coupon and go to go to a
0:13:44different bar tells its it's starting to
0:13:46sound like a like a little bit of a
0:13:48george costanza move now uh huh
0:13:52she's gonna go to a different bar tells
0:13:53and and get me get me some you know get
0:13:56max out the coupon for four pounds of
0:13:59coffee this is the folgers no no its
0:14:01like a this is a this is the tight
0:14:04this is beans to bag of beans out of 10
0:14:08that's it that's a very good deal where
0:14:10your deal and it's you know and it's a
0:14:12brand you recognize but they're not
0:14:13advertising on our podcast so why would
0:14:15I give them or a light totally agree
0:14:17you know what i mean i'd say that you
0:14:18know what you mean do you remember a
0:14:20time when people were taping over the
0:14:23name taping over the word fender on
0:14:25their stratocaster because they because
0:14:28they didn't want to be didn't want to
0:14:32advertise yea yea or their amps and you
0:14:36see you still see it in TV shows a lot
0:14:38we're in order to show reality you want
0:14:41to show everybody using either an apple
0:14:43or Adele usually guess what people use
0:14:46for laptops but an apple laptop is very
0:14:48distinctive not least because it has a
0:14:50large apple on it and so you'll see
0:14:52people putting putting stickers and
0:14:53whatnot on there i mean i've been asked
0:14:55to cover my apple on a video on video
0:14:57things yes I've definitely been told to
0:14:59turn my water bottle in my hand during a
0:15:03photoshoot
0:15:04oh so they don't see that you're an
0:15:06Aquafina man not a dishonest man that's
0:15:08right well you can tell him out of the
0:15:09Sami man just by looking at I want to
0:15:11circle back to that because I got some I
0:15:12got some updated thoughts on dasani ok
0:15:14but the world isn't so so let's see 3321
0:15:18coffee mom's gonna go to bartells she's
0:15:20going to scare up another coupon right
0:15:22and it
0:15:23mm well so wait I jumped ahead i'm sorry
0:15:26ok let's let's let's go back we don't
0:15:28know if mom has done that or not
0:15:30ok it in the timeline of the stylet it
0:15:32out then i go to a wedding i went to a
0:15:36wedding this weekend where every person
0:15:39at the wedding
0:15:40waiting for them at the dinner table was
0:15:43a coffee mug with the with the emblem of
0:15:46the wedding party has its own kind
0:15:49little mark wedding party had their own
0:15:51brand or their own watermark who and
0:15:56it's on the coffee mug is delightful
0:15:58little thing and then within the coffee
0:16:00mug kind of set in the in the mug at a
0:16:03jaunty angle is a pound of coffee
0:16:05nice a pound of good coffee mm when I
0:16:09walk thing its wedding coffee so I walk
0:16:11in there's 200 people at this dinner and
0:16:13I survey the room and I'm like they're
0:16:15200 coffee mugs and 200 pounds of coffee
0:16:18in this room and I know for a fact and
0:16:21I'm one of the groomsmen
0:16:23oh my gosh so I'm there early and I know
0:16:25I'm going to be there late and I know
0:16:27there's going to be some rogue coffee
0:16:30bag you know people are going to you
0:16:32John you know how this works first of
0:16:33all you're in a position of extreme
0:16:35privilege and in a good way you should
0:16:37be allowed i think is in the Magna Carta
0:16:38I think you're allowed to go up and
0:16:40basically get people's coffee
0:16:41here's the other thing a lot of people
0:16:43are going to some drinks they're going
0:16:44to take off the shoes to get a dance and
0:16:46they're going to leave without
0:16:48remembering to take the coffee
0:16:49that's right and you just you just sit
0:16:52there like a crow on a wire just waiting
0:16:53and watching watching wing it's three
0:16:56o'clock in the afternoon and i'm already
0:16:58planning for 145 in the morning and I'm
0:17:01marking the people in my head who are
0:17:04going to get carried out of that wedding
0:17:05reception on a gurney and I would like
0:17:09wading into who i don't want to forget
0:17:11my local market my coffee nothing i can
0:17:13do that
0:17:14no they're not they're going to be like
0:17:15well
0:17:16Colin uber and I mean 17 that the same
0:17:19arena
0:17:19somebody cut the total that's the point
0:17:21out i'm gonna swoop down and and so I
0:17:28walked out of that wedding at an end up
0:17:29at a certain point the the reception is
0:17:32coming to a close and the staff the
0:17:35people who are going to tear this this
0:17:38party down who are swooping in and
0:17:41they're starting to clean up and they're
0:17:43sweeping up the debris and they're taken
0:17:45together they got they got out what we
0:17:47call that when you are you strike the
0:17:48set
0:17:49they got to get ready for the Abramowitz
0:17:51but Mitzvah that's exactly right that's
0:17:52happening tomorrow morning huh well no
0:17:55tomorrow morning there's a there's like
0:17:57a flower show
0:17:58ok then the bottom it's what happens in
0:18:00the afternoon but they're swooping in
0:18:03there they're striking the set and I'm
0:18:05saying kind of in the kind of been
0:18:08through the the four is 22 is 11 is none
0:18:12yeah one is one-third I'm saying you
0:18:16know I've gotta tie the sum of this copy
0:18:18to these people because I'm looking
0:18:20around there's probably there's probably
0:18:22nine unattended how you know you're at
0:18:26the point where having the one and your
0:18:28figure out how do I spread the wealth
0:18:29that's right that a nice John
0:18:31these guys are you cleaning up the clean
0:18:34up the place and you know and they're
0:18:36kind of looking around like this coffee
0:18:38just gonna the phrase you would use in
0:18:42the cavities is for anyone that's right
0:18:44this for anyone is this is this gonna
0:18:47get bend or is this gonna find its way
0:18:50into my messenger bag and so you know I
0:18:53again as you say i have the authority i
0:18:55have the privilege of being one of the
0:18:56people in a pink tie if you will
0:18:59who so I swooped in i swoop across the
0:19:03room I survey the room and I'm like that
0:19:05one that one that one that so anyway I
0:19:07come home with six pounds of coffee
0:19:10jiminy Christmas good quality copy and i
0:19:13arrived home to find there are four
0:19:16pounds of coffee in my refrigerator that
0:19:19my mom bought with a coupon
0:19:21oh my gosh that is so nice
0:19:22step but now i have 10 pounds of coffee
0:19:27which witch too many I I don't want to
0:19:32introduce triangulation here but are you
0:19:34i'm guessing you're recording from home
0:19:35today
0:19:37oh uh no I don't like asking terms of
0:19:41the the coffee situation
0:19:43oh yes that's right ok so you have
0:19:45access to coffee now have access to
0:19:47coffee and I'm and I'm feeling pretty
0:19:49good caffeinated ok but I'm but I'm
0:19:52concerned I'm concerned about my
0:19:55well-being because now I have too much
0:19:56coffee and I'm concerned about the
0:19:58coffee's well-being because i don't know
0:20:00if i have the I don't know if I have the
0:20:02facilities to maintain 10 pounds of
0:20:06coffee in a in a in a min estate ready
0:20:09now right
0:20:11like I feel like I should put five
0:20:13pounds in a place where I don't even
0:20:15think I have it I got it I got it
0:20:17where is that where the copy isn't going
0:20:19to be isn't going to be kind of is going
0:20:23to spoil it something some way that's
0:20:25the kind of thing that makes me wish I
0:20:27lived in like a rich people suburb and
0:20:29had like a second refrigerator and a
0:20:30deep freeze and all that kind of stuff
0:20:32because that's kind of like your
0:20:33unattainable money hole in some ways not
0:20:35precisely but you know another thing
0:20:36they say out of sight out of mind right
0:20:38and also to really let's be honest a lot
0:20:40like cats wanting to see i'd like to
0:20:41have a look at for companionship
0:20:43it's nothing got 12 cats right so I mean
0:20:46that's not good for you or the cats and
0:20:47in this case the coffee's can be saying
0:20:48what was going on with me
0:20:50speaking of cat yeah I noticed that the
0:20:53latest update of the iOS is Sierra uh
0:20:57yes that's correct
0:20:59do they run out of cats the they chose
0:21:03to do a pivot from big cats two
0:21:06locations in California and there's a
0:21:08there's a kind of a subtle way the date
0:21:12Telegraph how important or big the
0:21:15change in the release is by for example
0:21:18like you somebody is a big deal and then
0:21:20el capitan is a smaller deal because
0:21:22that's just a place in Yosemite who
0:21:24knows how far they're gonna go i miss
0:21:25the cats so I've always enjoyed the cats
0:21:27so do you think there's going to be like
0:21:28an iOS Compton em on iOS launch
0:21:33that's iOS but no I don't think they
0:21:37would I think they're sticking with the
0:21:38numbers but it can be very very
0:21:39confusing and then this also extends to
0:21:41their the different models of a computer
0:21:43of things because that those get
0:21:45confusing names too and so a lot of the
0:21:47human cry right now Isabella oh my gosh
0:21:49what's gonna happen what they can
0:21:51announce on thursday is going to be a
0:21:53macbook is going to be a macbook air is
0:21:55there going to be a macbook pro or
0:21:57they're going to be the features of what
0:21:58we used to call a macbook air in
0:22:00something that's no longer called a
0:22:01macbook air
0:22:02this is some people have podcast about
0:22:04why are you all humans didn't talk about
0:22:07that today you mean well the thing is
0:22:10it's important that i talk about these
0:22:11things with you because I keep telling
0:22:13people when they say what you do for a
0:22:15living again
0:22:15yeah I say I'm kind of I'm kind of in
0:22:20the text fear and they may tilt their
0:22:24heads quizzically and their spouse does
0:22:27to like like a dog that just harmonica
0:22:29and it's a go
0:22:34I'm kind of disruptive within the
0:22:36texture
0:22:37oh and then make up their heads the
0:22:40other one go
0:22:41mmm only Nixon could go to China that's
0:22:44right and so periodically I think it's
0:22:47important that i talk about text oh
0:22:49that's that's a terrific idea
0:22:50yeah because it it repositions me
0:22:54centrally in the disruptive a quadrant
0:22:58of the texts fear right is every spirit
0:23:02is divided into quadrants that's right
0:23:04every sphere has quadrants and over here
0:23:05you got a normative quadrant you're not
0:23:07interested in that there's no future in
0:23:08the normative quadrant new you want to
0:23:11be another disruptive cause a dominant
0:23:13quadrant and then there's the what was a
0:23:19missive no I don't think submissive I
0:23:21think it would be a subversive oh I see
0:23:25you say you're going to the dominant
0:23:28quadra subvert the dominant quadrant of
0:23:30the sphere right
0:23:32ok so that's where I like to locate
0:23:35myself for being located i don't know if
0:23:38you can locate yourself
0:23:39I think you can I think you need to be
0:23:41located
0:23:42bye-bye others by the culture by the
0:23:47conventional wisdom and in order to do
0:23:49that you have to maintain a foot in the
0:23:52in the selected quadrant okay you know
0:23:54what no I'm gonna allow it i'll tell you
0:23:56this I'll tell you one thing i don't
0:23:57like about about Bill Clinton was that
0:23:59he introduced the word grow as far as i
0:24:02know into the parlance as a transitive
0:24:04verb i do not like when people use grow
0:24:06as a transitive verb I don't think
0:24:08detect you don't want to grow our
0:24:10quadrant to see I think that's going to
0:24:12be happening in the in the
0:24:13counter-revolutionary non-dominant hand
0:24:15of the public of the severe well I think
0:24:18what we're doing here fires didn't
0:24:20correct me if I'm wrong but if you want
0:24:21to use locate as a reflexive verb to
0:24:26talk about where you decide to see how
0:24:29about this how about you situate
0:24:30yourself i'm pretty sure all to sarah
0:24:33said you can situate you can situate
0:24:35others and I imagine with a little bit
0:24:37of effort you can situate yourself i
0:24:39think i'd ride to such I think we I try
0:24:42to situate myself within your and my
0:24:44context so then it's like a Zen sphere a
0:24:49sense their spirits fears upon spirits
0:24:51fears all the way down huh
0:24:53I tried to be nice try to situate myself
0:24:56with you within our text within our
0:24:58sphere which is within the text fear
0:25:01okay okay I think I got it I'm situating
0:25:03myself with you as the disrupt or
0:25:08but i am but i think that that that it's
0:25:15not capable
0:25:16I'm not capable of well for instance I
0:25:18don't think you can say about yourself
0:25:21that you're woke oh yeah it's like
0:25:24calling your own verse poetry
0:25:26yeah i think only someone else only a
0:25:29stakeholder can describe you as woke you
0:25:33i know another one thought leader
0:25:36oh you're not allowed to call yourself a
0:25:38thought later somebody else calls you a
0:25:40thought leader you can punch him in the
0:25:41nose but but i think if you call
0:25:43yourself a thought leader you can have a
0:25:44heater problems and let's be honest just
0:25:46because you have one bag of coffee two
0:25:48bags of coffees three coffees bags that
0:25:51doesn't mean you can also have a larger
0:25:53bag in which to situate those coffees
0:25:55these are the weddings or speak speaking
0:25:58events now if you are Steve Aoki can you
0:26:00call yourself a thought leader Steve a
0:26:03key is he the guy in fargo i think use
0:26:09isn't here in electro house musician
0:26:13yeah I don't mean like you I don't use
0:26:16it like a musician in houses were
0:26:18nothing like he's an electrician he
0:26:21might be an electrician like an
0:26:23electrical engineer i'm thinking of the
0:26:25guy that Frances McDormand goes to visit
0:26:27in in the Twin Cities I thought that I
0:26:32steve aoki like who's like weirdly
0:26:35really creepily one sort of cheat on her
0:26:38husband that's a really good movie that
0:26:40is a nice me like that movie i do that's
0:26:42a fine fine movie
0:26:44oh boy like that movie line i like those
0:26:46guys that make those movies becomes I
0:26:49like those guys today there one of those
0:26:51one of that they're they're the kind of
0:26:54artists were like regardless of how i
0:26:55feel about every single thing that they
0:26:57make
0:26:58I always will be attracted to their
0:27:01point of view
0:27:03yeah you know I didn't make it even all
0:27:05the way through health Caesar that's
0:27:06okay it happens I'm I try again but yet
0:27:09really that's that's my daughter really
0:27:11wants to watch it because it's really
0:27:12funny yeah it with the trailer looks
0:27:14funny but we're but that was that it was
0:27:16like not funny it was it was it was hard
0:27:19to watch because it was
0:27:21because they they land so many punches
0:27:24normally throughout their career they
0:27:26have and this was just a swish that
0:27:29everybody in it and frankly I honestly
0:27:32this is hard for me this is really hard
0:27:34for me to say okay say slowly not so
0:27:41sure about Clooney not so sure about
0:27:46Clooney yeah yeah I don't like to say it
0:27:51yeah I don't like to ruminate on that
0:27:53one because I'm pretty easy kind of the
0:27:56Pantheon for me I before me too i'm kind
0:27:59of pro Clooney I go I look out into the
0:28:01world and I go Clooney right if there
0:28:04was a knock on the door I opened the
0:28:06door and there were two people standing
0:28:09there and dark sunglasses in black suits
0:28:11uh-huh and they said Clooney I'd say
0:28:15Clooney yeah right you're not gonna stay
0:28:18and see like no and I feel like I feel
0:28:21like you know a barring any information
0:28:23to the contrary my god is that he's a
0:28:26he's a good guy a good guy right i feel
0:28:29that same way about pit innovative these
0:28:31two guys at the door like Clooney and
0:28:32Pitt Clooney and poke
0:28:34I was I'd say yeah they do my taxes yeah
0:28:36like I i love cleaning but there are
0:28:40there are there's I think ample evidence
0:28:42to say about pit at least there's ample
0:28:46evidence where you could be any one of
0:28:48them but hmm yeah really i just i always
0:28:53felt like that charm that smile
0:28:56he's gonna get away with it there's
0:28:59something a friend of mine likes to say
0:29:00about why i'm not on a lot of his
0:29:01podcast which is that he likes to deploy
0:29:03me tactically which i think is a very
0:29:06nice way of saying he just doesn't want
0:29:07too much of me on it shows which i think
0:29:09is an entirely reasonable point of view
0:29:10it is what you're saying here that maybe
0:29:12cleaning is something we should deploy
0:29:13tactically what I'm saying is Clooney as
0:29:17a comedic actor I feel like that's the
0:29:22leap that we have that we that we are
0:29:24making one reflectively and we need to
0:29:27stop we need to take a step back at ya
0:29:30Clooney's very charming he's wonderful
0:29:33he's handsome
0:29:34is he truly a comedic actor oh brother
0:29:37where art out
0:29:38well this is what I'm saying oh brother
0:29:41where art down is a very very
0:29:43interesting film that will get a lot of
0:29:46people love it's sort of like Moonrise
0:29:48Kingdom no doubt very good or i would
0:29:52even say steve zissou it's one of those
0:29:54like if you don't like the general Wes
0:29:57Anderson deal don't start with steve
0:29:59zissou but I feel like Moonrise Kingdom
0:30:02is one of the films where a where like a
0:30:08fans of the director can differ there is
0:30:15a lot I don't think that's the
0:30:16apotheosis of what wes anderson is
0:30:19capable of right now I mean people who
0:30:22are fans are like this is this is the
0:30:24one right and then there are others like
0:30:29me who feel like no that is not true
0:30:34that is not this is it's not it's not
0:30:38the nadir either but it's like I have I
0:30:41have strong criticisms of that film ever
0:30:43and oh brother where art thou
0:30:45I feel is very similar in the sense that
0:30:48at the center of the movie is an act or
0:30:52that does not belong there
0:30:55uh-huh ate a little bit like CII more of
0:30:59those weirdos that I like the the Great
0:31:01Khan brothers movies that everybody
0:31:03likes and I also i really-really jail
0:31:05enjoy some of the slider films like I i
0:31:08really like the hudsucker proxy a lot
0:31:10and some people removing some people
0:31:12really don't like that movie and I think
0:31:14it's wonderful but in that case is it
0:31:17just is it is it a little bit too coen
0:31:20brothers and that's not helped by the
0:31:21clooney what about later type of years
0:31:23Ladykillers you got Tom Hanks with a
0:31:24stutter I feel like I feel like Clooney
0:31:29is clown and Clooney is clowning clooney
0:31:32is clown in that movie he is Hammond
0:31:35Hammond it up and the thing about the
0:31:37Coen brothers is that everybody's hand
0:31:40all the time in all their movies but
0:31:42they're not smirking they're showing
0:31:47John Goodman it's like swinging from the
0:31:49rafters but he's committed he's
0:31:51committed
0:31:52yes John Goodman is really happening but
0:31:55he's not clownin you believe it
0:31:59uh-huh and you look throughout all the
0:32:01Coen brothers movies who are the who's
0:32:04clowning and it's Clooney's class
0:32:06Clooney's clownin yeah so you can see
0:32:09all the way through
0:32:10oh brother out there which is a great
0:32:12film everybody else is like is all the
0:32:16way in happening there there there ham
0:32:21Virginia ham been having the hand and
0:32:24Clooney is riding the hand all i see is
0:32:28like slim pickins on the on the the bomb
0:32:31you know you don't you don't fly a
0:32:33rocket ship you're right it
0:32:34that's right that's right and eating
0:32:36with Virginia ham you need to be in the
0:32:39ham you need to be the ham have it to
0:32:40hangout ride that that's right so let's
0:32:44go with the ham right you don't have the
0:32:46ham ride you in transitively so if be if
0:32:50your brother where art thou clooney is
0:32:52you know he's playing the role but he's
0:32:54right in the ham ya been at OC old
0:32:57Caesar or hail caesar right who's not
0:33:01even he's just like he's sweating
0:33:04through the oldies if you know what I
0:33:06see how this yes Jackie kind of fake
0:33:10teeth in hail caesar did they do things
0:33:13to make his teeth more funny in that I
0:33:15find feel like yes although when you
0:33:19comment on Hollywood actors teeth i know
0:33:21i mean in a like this is obviously fixed
0:33:25fake teeth sort of like like Matt and
0:33:27Matt Matt Matt Damon uh the kid from the
0:33:30eighties movie chillin chillin in that
0:33:34one movie with the other guy we have all
0:33:37yeah with the girl with the girl would
0:33:39be a few minutes in hair
0:33:41yeah so like okay and I'm kind of going
0:33:43somewhere with this and this is this is
0:33:44a large unified field theory that might
0:33:46be a ham
0:33:47but i'm thinking also think of the movie
0:33:48snowpiercer which owes us a lot of
0:33:51fucking money arm very good movie but
0:33:54till the Swinton she has a character
0:33:57with fake teeth she's cloud in the ham
0:33:59too
0:34:00she's transformed by those 50 she is i
0:34:03think i think in many of these instances
0:34:05the teeth make people a little Clowney
0:34:07yeah and and i think it doesn't always
0:34:10work
0:34:11I'm gonna you know I'll fight anybody in
0:34:13the snowpiercer fight ring you know I
0:34:16can
0:34:18there were interesting
0:34:21snowpiercer is is a series of
0:34:23interesting vignettes stitched together
0:34:26with the incomprehensible like one page
0:34:31the one page of snowpiercer makes no
0:34:34sense of the the four three two one on
0:34:36that is I feel like the first quarter of
0:34:38it is riveting
0:34:40yeah the second quarter maybe half of
0:34:43that and then by the time you get to the
0:34:45end you get to the front you're like oh
0:34:46yeah you really had me ask me a little
0:34:49bit yeah you lost me here I'm I've been
0:34:53wondering that we've talked about this
0:34:54quite a bit like how do scripts get made
0:34:57in particular howdy shitty scripts get
0:34:59all the way to Maine ok I've just been
0:35:03recently watching the very popular
0:35:05television show strange strange things
0:35:09strange strange ways
0:35:10stranger things stranger thing to eat a
0:35:13new password re-establish my old
0:35:17password
0:35:18oh that's good for mending fences yeah I
0:35:22made a that's right that's right and I i
0:35:26watch the show and it was a thing where
0:35:29you know at first you're like is this
0:35:31just a TV show and then things start
0:35:34happening here like this interesting TV
0:35:36show and then a little while in I
0:35:39started to feel at least like there's
0:35:42acting happening here some of what i
0:35:44thought was just not very good acting is
0:35:47good acting then I got you know a little
0:35:51bit like mm that relationship between
0:35:53those people is annoying me now
0:35:55I feel like if I warriors yeah if I were
0:35:58in the writing room I would have I would
0:36:00have done that I would have handled that
0:36:01a little better put a little bit of
0:36:02backspin on that who and then about what
0:36:06would you what would you say
0:36:08four-fifths of the way through i said
0:36:10this had better not be one of those
0:36:13shows where the writing falls apart
0:36:15four-fifths of the way through the show
0:36:17because nobody thought about how to end
0:36:20it i remember getting i want to say into
0:36:22the penultimate episode and thinking wow
0:36:25they have a lot of loose ends to clean
0:36:29up in an hour
0:36:30that's right and and it felt very much
0:36:33like you guys didn't think this all the
0:36:35way through and i'm picturing you in the
0:36:37writing room and no there's no person in
0:36:39the writing room who's sitting back in
0:36:42their chair and saying now wait a minute
0:36:44what why in the universe of this all
0:36:49happening like why or furthermore like
0:36:54not just what
0:36:56but like that that thing has motivations
0:36:59to yeah I know I that that's the most
0:37:01interesting kind of story is that bring
0:37:03the thing has motivation see it's like
0:37:05what you name another just to go to an
0:37:07old example alien and aliens like you
0:37:10know the particular alien it has things
0:37:12that it wants
0:37:13mhm sure does a like so many of these so
0:37:17many monster movies now that the the
0:37:22thing is just a thing
0:37:23ya mean Jason had a motivation who
0:37:27Michael Myers had motivation who i'm not
0:37:31sure about the one with the sweater and
0:37:34the little over four sky with the stripe
0:37:36sweater
0:37:37yeah who came into your dreams and did
0:37:39bad things yeah uh what was his
0:37:42motivation he was be was dream he was in
0:37:44a dream and he's mad i think was a child
0:37:46molester who that throwing a furnace who
0:37:49I think and then he gets in your dreams
0:37:52yeah yeah child molester in first that's
0:37:55terrible ah uh-huh
0:37:59I know I know I thought will meet i take
0:38:03the heat I deserve it but then but then
0:38:06that the the stranger things arrived at
0:38:09its end and I was relieved of my of my
0:38:15relieved of the horror of of having
0:38:19spent a season with this and then
0:38:21meeting to hate it yeah but like I I get
0:38:25it arrived at the end and I went alright
0:38:28television you have you you succeed use
0:38:32you didn't i'm not sure you stuck the
0:38:34landing but you made the landing you
0:38:36arch your back put your hands in the air
0:38:38now it's up to the judges
0:38:39yeah did they stick it yeah now it's up
0:38:41to history to judge you i don't feel
0:38:44ripped off guiding good question i
0:38:46didn't watch lost be ever one time early
0:38:52on we were on tour and uh and a very
0:38:56delightful band we were opening for a
0:38:58for a delightful band and they gave us i
0:39:01pod the first ipods that had TV screen
0:39:08oh neato yeah those are neat with it was
0:39:10that the ipod need oh ok i thought
0:39:12needed came with a sock em so we all got
0:39:15ipod nose and the other guys in the band
0:39:19loaded their ipod nose with things
0:39:21immediately and I don't know how they
0:39:23did it
0:39:24probably online people mover whooping
0:39:27all this on their ipod those are four
0:39:29things now I kept my yard and then you
0:39:31have to use the ethernet cable they did
0:39:32somehow we were in Europe I don't even
0:39:34know how they did it
0:39:35that's a whole different voltage there
0:39:37well yeah exactly right you can't even
0:39:39play Betamax tapes over multiple pal but
0:39:42uh I kept mine in the box probably for a
0:39:46year and then my mom a frequent
0:39:50character on this podcast LOL she found
0:39:53my ipod no in the box and she was like
0:39:56what's this nice and it's an i pad pod
0:39:58and she said oh my now and then she took
0:40:02it and loaded up with stuff she loaded
0:40:04up with the history of indie rock to
0:40:06create a thick and she's been that was
0:40:08pre Creed
0:40:10and she's I don't know she used it until
0:40:12it caught on fire but anyway one time we
0:40:14were driving through Austria or
0:40:16something and i was maybe sick and I was
0:40:20just mad and Eric course on the bass
0:40:23player the long winter said here why
0:40:24don't you watch an episode of lost the
0:40:26very popular television show who on my
0:40:29ipod ipad nido with my papito then and
0:40:33the ipad needa yet no i don't know i
0:40:36don't have the timeline is very
0:40:37confusing to play your sick that was i I
0:40:39IX chap I yeah
0:40:44carrabelle up eggs the American
0:40:49Shorthair so so I got ready stucked is
0:40:56that in the car and I watched I tried to
0:40:59watch lost on this little teeny phone
0:41:02thing in a moving vehicle and I became
0:41:06very frustrated with up with every stage
0:41:10of the like what is this in
0:41:12comprehensible television show it's like
0:41:14I'm watching somebody play the video
0:41:16game missed who but on a thing that is
0:41:20like this the size of a large pack of
0:41:22candy cigarettes and this vehicle is
0:41:25moving through space and i'm building a
0:41:26little car second i was sick already
0:41:28with so that not an ideal introduction
0:41:31know it was a little bit like a
0:41:33clockwork orange introduction my
0:41:35eyeballs were pinned back i was taped to
0:41:37a chair
0:41:38Ludovico technique and I was like I
0:41:40don't want to watch this loss and I was
0:41:42grateful later when the when there was a
0:41:44cataclysmic sigh of disappointment
0:41:46throughout the culture i inhabit wearing
0:41:50hit or inhibit the closer you get it but
0:41:54it makes me which you choose to look at
0:41:57yourself
0:41:58that's right the culture in which i'm
0:41:59located that I choose to inhibit i said
0:42:02haha rules i didn't want your dumb show
0:42:06because I wait and I wait until the jury
0:42:09is in ya and now you all feel like
0:42:14you've been hoodwinked like you were
0:42:15gasps lighted by some people that didn't
0:42:19write the story in advance
0:42:20that's not a thing that I don't like to
0:42:25watch that thing where the story wasn't
0:42:26written in advance i listen to a
0:42:28wonderful thing this weekend which was a
0:42:311960 interview studs terkel interviewing
0:42:35Buster Keaton in 1962 my god which is
0:42:39pretty interesting to think about it
0:42:40anyways I'm but she was still kicking
0:42:42around at the time he's talking about
0:42:44like trying to release his films in
0:42:46Europe and but it was a of course that's
0:42:48terrible that's who I acted love that
0:42:50guy just love his whole deal and there's
0:42:53just lots of interesting little tidbits
0:42:55and little just really talking about
0:42:57anything about his movies or 40 years
0:42:59old at that point he was still kicking
0:43:01around but they were it was very
0:43:03interesting just talking about you know
0:43:04how you how you make those movies and
0:43:06what went into it one thing he said that
0:43:07was so remarkable was that in this
0:43:09gravelly voice for her from the secrets
0:43:12that would eventually kill him he's like
0:43:14yeah we really know what we would do
0:43:15this we would always we had to have a
0:43:17really a very good start and a fantastic
0:43:20ending and then we can fill in the
0:43:21middle easily but you gotta know how it
0:43:23starts
0:43:24and you've got to know how it ends and
0:43:25they never used the script which is if
0:43:27it is true is amazing because you think
0:43:29about you know today like they're a lot
0:43:31of people who use you know primarily Mad
0:43:32Max famously had storyboards rather than
0:43:34like a written script but like whatever
0:43:37ambitious idea when I put a different
0:43:38time and I I don't have been turning it
0:43:41over in my mind like wondering if I
0:43:43think that's entirely true
0:43:45I assume it is but also think about the
0:43:47implications of only really having a
0:43:50beginning and an end and then that how
0:43:52that governs what you do for the parts
0:43:53in the middle I are you familiar with
0:43:57the author Maria simple she wrote oh
0:44:01she's a blow friend of the guy who we've
0:44:05talked about she's a friend of the guy
0:44:07who talked about she's she's there isn't
0:44:09she the daughter of Lorenzo simple
0:44:11junior so we're remembering that's
0:44:13correct
0:44:13ok Maria Semple yes you talk to you
0:44:15talked up talk about her don't tell me
0:44:17about Maria Semple well Marie simple is
0:44:19a writer she has she has written a
0:44:22popular book where'd you go Bernadette
0:44:25which was a
0:44:28the best she was in the it was in the
0:44:30best sellers fear Bernadette and she
0:44:35just a friend she is married to George
0:44:37my er one of the peaches were just the
0:44:39simpsons yes yes yes and was a he was a
0:44:42writer he was that I guess head writer
0:44:44on the early david letterman show the
0:44:47david letterman show that we all do only
0:44:48love you when you weren't allowed to do
0:44:52anything normal we have guests and hope
0:44:56that they're know that we have anybody
0:44:59who's ever been on the Carson show nope
0:45:02you better you better send the reception
0:45:04is from a drug clinic to the bus station
0:45:07what are you there you there all the
0:45:11high be on TV free peanuts in the world
0:45:12are going to fix that would you like a
0:45:15hot i'm sorry i love that show anyways
0:45:21yeah so sure you duh
0:45:24funny funny kind please learn a dead
0:45:27what am I thinking of my singing that
0:45:29that's a who's that guy there the guy
0:45:31from George in the wheelchair passed
0:45:33away was that guy's name
0:45:35no the one guy plan huh Tony Orlando
0:45:39Tony Orlando let's save Tony Orlando
0:45:43thinking of thick chest alone just not
0:45:47hear the sonic lisburn dad giving away
0:45:50the chestnut were with did a long tour
0:45:52of europe with the chestnut I that was
0:45:54colorful it was extremely colorful and I
0:45:59loved and adored him but I felt like
0:46:01when he died he and i were estranged
0:46:04he's a pretty complicated guy wasn't
0:46:06yeah and there was a bet and then lived
0:46:09in a world of complicated people
0:46:11yeah i surrounded by complicated i saw
0:46:12him at some in noe valley from nineteen
0:46:15ninety thousand time to show there was
0:46:17pretty riveting
0:46:18yeah he's a he was great intense
0:46:20performer yeah people's freedom with
0:46:23lamb chop
0:46:24that's right and that was in Matt era
0:46:26that was in that that exact error that I
0:46:29toward within the lamb chop chop era el
0:46:32nido fact we all played a show together
0:46:35in
0:46:36Barcelona barthelona a small sample
0:46:41herpaderp oh maria semple gave just gave
0:46:45a talk where she was describing her
0:46:47writing process and it was that she
0:46:51imagine some characters and then she
0:46:55wanted and then she decided what was
0:46:57going to happen to them
0:46:58here's what she hears what she has she
0:47:00has the characters and then she knows
0:47:02what she wants to happen to them at the
0:47:05end she was she knows where they at
0:47:07where she wants them to end up and then
0:47:09the book writes itself and I I thought
0:47:13about that she was speaking and then I
0:47:14walked away with it I've been turning it
0:47:16over in my hands over sentence
0:47:17huh you said you know I've got these i
0:47:20got this character a a callow shrill
0:47:24woman and I want her to get her
0:47:27comeuppance and I want to come up and
0:47:29still look like this and so here we go
0:47:33and here's her journey on her way to her
0:47:36comeuppance
0:47:36I was like me that's a that's very
0:47:41different from like starting in the dark
0:47:44and feeling your way toward like 900
0:47:48pages of gibberish and then trying to
0:47:50filter that down into 10 song at how
0:47:53light the light give creating a fiction
0:47:57book a novel in any way is just seems
0:47:59like such a staggering idea to me and
0:48:01wonder how I wonder I wonder if that
0:48:03process works for more than one book
0:48:04she's describing it as as working now
0:48:09successfully for her through three books
0:48:12wow she that's that's she's got a good
0:48:14mind
0:48:15yeah you need a good mind to do
0:48:17something like that very smart and
0:48:19writing a novel i got i wish i could
0:48:23yeah i've never tried so I don't know if
0:48:27I could take you have to start with
0:48:28short fiction so short fiction I think I
0:48:32friends and Outsiders in Outsiders
0:48:33somebody who enjoys fiction from as an
0:48:36outsider point-of-view kind of seems
0:48:37like that's the it feels like in a
0:48:39really perhaps dumb way that's the
0:48:42training wheels for learning how to tell
0:48:43a story is to write something you know
0:48:4510 pages long before you write something
0:48:47300 pages
0:48:48well I I may have done this because it
0:48:53was very self-serving but a long time
0:48:55ago I said the novel is a is a high art
0:49:03but then the short story is a higher art
0:49:07because you have less room fewer words
0:49:13to tell the entire tail and then poems
0:49:19as commonly would say aren't even
0:49:24further and even higher art because you
0:49:26have now reduced it you have reduced the
0:49:30short story to or the rather you reduce
0:49:34the novel's worth of story two stanzas
0:49:39and then the highest ours is the pop
0:49:44song because now you've taken the poem
0:49:48and cleanse it of all of its impurity
0:49:52wash the filth out of it through and
0:49:56made only the gold only the little
0:50:00shining nuggets and that is why the pop
0:50:04song sits atop the pyramid of all
0:50:07writing as the true condensation now
0:50:13that may be that may be self-serving but
0:50:16i don't think so
0:50:17who I think I i think it I think that
0:50:20within the within the sphere that that I
0:50:24grow I grow the sphere were in it the
0:50:30one in which he located yourself
0:50:31that's right I be the sphere I i see the
0:50:35spear I be the sphere living rooms and
0:50:40within that groans here I i think i've
0:50:44reduced the I budget reduce the sum
0:50:47total of all human knowledge to a to a
0:50:50poster that could go on the wall of a
0:50:52dentist's office
0:50:53I don't think that sounds self-serving
0:50:53know my pitches photographs of furniture
0:50:57that is made on it on the walls of his
0:50:59place
0:51:01no it's much worse it's much more
0:51:02clockwork orange it's why I don't go
0:51:04there anymore
0:51:05he's very much you mean does he play his
0:51:07his sons band over the over the intercom
0:51:11it's kind of worse he's very gregarious
0:51:13nom everyone is it well yeah I mean I I
0:51:19I don't want to talk to the over guy
0:51:21definitely want to talk to my dentist is
0:51:22a very nice guy but there's a very very
0:51:24large screen in your face that is
0:51:26nominally they're so like a kid could
0:51:28watch dora or something but he has his
0:51:31screensaver for a TV screen it's a big
0:51:34big big TV screen that you have to look
0:51:36at because you can either like look look
0:51:37at him while he's in your mouth or you
0:51:38can look at this screen right right
0:51:41exactly Hobson's choice and so but up on
0:51:43the screen is a canny mix of furniture
0:51:46that he is built and cartoons about
0:51:49dentistry that he regards as funny I
0:51:51don't know
0:51:52yeah I can't see the Beethoven anymore
0:51:56I mean it's like kind of blue whoo-hoo
0:51:59oh my my my
0:52:07the Newport home companion yeah ha ha ha
0:52:11tinh know you haven't listened to the
0:52:17old prairie home companion except when i
0:52:18was over at friends houses in mind
0:52:20looking for aa really this is this is
0:52:23we're going with this you did you've
0:52:24never listened to prairie home companion
0:52:25not voluntarily okay Herman what's now
0:52:29hosted by that that that funny
0:52:31nice hilarious talented man who plays
0:52:33mandolin in the band that's not it's not
0:52:36Nickelback used to be a nickel creek
0:52:38that's right he's extremely talented and
0:52:40funny and has made the show fun uh a
0:52:43friend of the show John Hodgman was on
0:52:45this week's episode
0:52:45oh that's fun that is it is fun and
0:52:48they've had great they had lake street
0:52:49dive which is my favorite band i've
0:52:51discovered in 2016 they were on
0:52:53okay good but they're not they're not
0:52:55being too cute about it still got a lot
0:52:57of flavor of the old show you never
0:52:58listen to on purpose right
0:53:00all the kids are beautiful and all of
0:53:04the trucks run on time
0:53:06yep ethanol here at Lake Wobegon at
0:53:08least at least garrison keillor made the
0:53:10trucks run on time
0:53:11well so I am I would consider myself
0:53:14pretty darn good friends with sara
0:53:17watkins chance she's very talented home
0:53:20then she'll be on the old show you
0:53:21didn't listen to quite often she's no
0:53:23cindy cashdollar but she would be on
0:53:25fairly often
0:53:25yeah well she and her brother and the
0:53:28other otherwise it's now hosting it
0:53:29that's right in the other where they
0:53:30were Nickelback the three of them they
0:53:32were Nickelback and they are amazingly
0:53:34charming wonderful tear them cover
0:53:36pavement curl your hair
0:53:38yeah take the cover spit spit on a
0:53:41stranger and sublime they there's a lot
0:53:44of sublimity in one lady subliminally am
0:53:47and I thought when he got that show that
0:53:51if there was a chance for someone to
0:53:54come in and take over for garrison that
0:53:57this always like Hong Kong garrison
0:53:59garrison who he garrison himself in that
0:54:03in that a saint paul public radio
0:54:06building and I thought that there was a
0:54:10very good chance that that would be a
0:54:12success because of the because of the
0:54:14slept sublimity and the and the talent
0:54:17has good taste too and it sounds like
0:54:19it's happened also you can rip like
0:54:21everybody playing mandolin like he plays
0:54:23he plays the mandolin like a genie pages
0:54:25of guitar player is pull offs are crazy
0:54:27but being about the mandolin is that
0:54:29that as mandolin playing gets better and
0:54:32better
0:54:33it becomes clearer and clearer that the
0:54:36mandolin is the mandolin is just there
0:54:39to make it make no clouds
0:54:42mmm yeah Pat Allen who bad mandolin
0:54:47playing is like his mandolin playing
0:54:51that bad mandolin playing is is fairly a
0:54:54musical right because it's someone
0:54:56that's used to playing the guitar picks
0:54:58up the mandolin figures out for five
0:55:00chords and then it's just a really high
0:55:03little little guitar be loop loop like
0:55:06you know like the same setup
0:55:08yep oh no kidding so what do you mean is
0:55:11that the same setup no I don't like four
0:55:13ok but i do think that if you're if
0:55:16you're used to playing the guitar you
0:55:18can sit in a noodle on it and be like
0:55:19well I put my finger here it sounds like
0:55:21that but you know you you make chords
0:55:23you find chords I'm gonna learn about
0:55:25mandolin tunings but as you get better
0:55:27and better
0:55:28the mandolin and you get faster and
0:55:29faster and pull-offs get faster and
0:55:31faster it becomes just that you know
0:55:33that like it's every note all the time I
0:55:35bet it's hard i mean that the tension on
0:55:37the strings is pretty high but you don't
0:55:39get a lot of slack it's not like a Les
0:55:40Paul right it's not like it's not like a
0:55:43fretless wonder it's not like a black
0:55:45black les paul custom home but he the
0:55:49advantages that the notes are really
0:55:51close together and you don't have sure
0:55:53so you have time hands or something tiny
0:55:55hands you believe me
0:55:56Miss Elizabeth notices yeah looks like
0:55:58the opposite of a guitar upside down
0:56:00guitar so it's ji ji Dae GD I he used to
0:56:05throw shit all over the stage all I
0:56:07remember him he's going to cut himself
0:56:09GD yeah cut himself and then smear his
0:56:11poop in it
0:56:12yep something and we and that was art
0:56:14research magazine GG dae I know that
0:56:20seems ukulele John what's ukulele team
0:56:22up to ninja hang on a telephone
0:56:25telephone uq leili tuning I don't know
0:56:29how ukuleles tuned even though i play
0:56:31them all the time because I picked them
0:56:33up and I tune them to the to my best
0:56:36casts oh yeah so all all instruments
0:56:40that I that somebody that are left in my
0:56:43hands long enough for me to take
0:56:45ownership of the tuning who I end up
0:56:49tuning at least in the form of the high
0:56:51for strings of a guitar interesting and
0:56:55did you ask a person before you enter
0:56:57ukulele letter and ukulele right if
0:57:00someone hands me there ukulele and says
0:57:02here you go
0:57:03I do what I'm suggesting is what i would
0:57:05do on the mandolin I would never try to
0:57:07the mandolin but I just said and I yeah
0:57:10I just play notes until I find chords
0:57:13and then I'm like MJ mandolin seems like
0:57:15a circle of hell because you got doubles
0:57:16of everything it's like a 12-string but
0:57:18with the none of the 12 string guitar
0:57:20notes of it
0:57:21yeah a drink that's tuned some some
0:57:24other way and but that's what I mean
0:57:27when I say if someone leaves their
0:57:29ukulele with me long enough that i would
0:57:31take over possession of the tuning which
0:57:34is to say
0:57:35more than overnight somebody if you
0:57:38leave your ukulele with me overnight
0:57:39somebody let you ukulele right if
0:57:42somebody said like hey I left my ukulele
0:57:45at your house i'll be back in six months
0:57:48enjoy it yes i would take over the
0:57:52tuning of it sure would sit and look at
0:57:53this thing and just be like mm canada
0:57:57and so at that point i would tune it
0:58:01like a like a guitar and I and i'm not
0:58:03sure i would even know
0:58:05dge 2gb now so that's just like it's
0:58:10just like it's guitar i get out you know
0:58:12I've got a I've gotta a ukulele guitar
0:58:16that I like a lot to tell you about this
0:58:18ukulele guitar
0:58:19yeah so it's a it's a guitar that's like
0:58:22the size of a big ukulele and you just
0:58:24have it sitting around in the family
0:58:25room doesn't stay tuned
0:58:28not too bad it just uses classical
0:58:30guitar strings basically it really needs
0:58:31to change I've had a frog almost couple
0:58:33years now i love having around here's
0:58:35the ball thing I did
0:58:36normally you tune this thing the ease in
0:58:38a yeah i'm doing right I'm doing drop
0:58:41gee I took down add my friend gee sounds
0:58:44great
0:58:45totally exactly totally baller that is
0:58:49that does sound cool you pick one these
0:58:51up they're not very expensive and there
0:58:52would be ideal for someone like you can
0:58:55leave a key backer he held the
0:58:57backpacker if you're a lock and welder
0:58:59anything like that
0:59:01walking welder we also got something our
0:59:03house the other day that that's a lot
0:59:04like what your what your meat sticks
0:59:06called was called jagermeister no
0:59:09seniors lon Yolanda yauger they are we
0:59:13are we have a new salami product in our
0:59:15house it's like it's basically about the
0:59:17circumference of the key tip but it's
0:59:19made out of salami and it's a delicious
0:59:21three did you snap into a slim jim you
0:59:23don't happen to you get from trader
0:59:25joe's uh mhm mhm
0:59:29anyway it was somebody write somebody a
0:59:31good a good friend of mine a good friend
0:59:34of this program that you might not know
0:59:36okay gave me very generously gave me a
0:59:40basket of laundry eggers boy
0:59:44and said you know we drove all the way
0:59:46across town in our town different from
0:59:49my town and bought these land jaegers
0:59:51and we love you to have them
0:59:52that's so nice it was incredibly nice
0:59:54really i think this is the problem i did
0:59:57not prefer em there
0:59:57not prefer em there
1:00:00and Yeager's to my own land oh there
1:00:02because Langer's you know they can go a
1:00:04lot of different directions
1:00:05absolutely and so I figured like say
1:00:08anything about that really what you're
1:00:09saying is like there's a form factor
1:00:11here we want this thing that's like
1:00:12super comfortable like a husky pencil
1:00:14yeah nobody's gonna make it out of I bet
1:00:17there's a lot of options there a lot of
1:00:19options and how are you going to grind
1:00:21up this stuff that you're going to put
1:00:22in it
1:00:23our season casing seasoning casing m.i.a
1:00:27and so I figured you know these were
1:00:31originally meant to be carried around in
1:00:33the pocket of a farmer for however long
1:00:36for azzaro at in the pocket of a
1:00:39goatherd or somebody somebody that goes
1:00:41up into the mountains and then comes
1:00:43down some indeterminate time later huh
1:00:46and so I put them in my pocket and
1:00:47walked around figured they needed a
1:00:49little bit of pocket curing Tokyo sure
1:00:51and it didn't improve them and so they
1:00:55said in my refrigerator a while and I
1:00:57said maybe what they need to be is they
1:00:59need to be desiccated because these
1:01:01things are are better when they're
1:01:03desiccated but no that didn't help them
1:01:07either
1:01:08and then I would be like that the easy
1:01:09sticking a bag with like some silica
1:01:10packets
1:01:12well i think if you leave a thing in the
1:01:14refrigerator long enough it will self
1:01:17discipline and self test case yeah so
1:01:19that didn't prove them and at the whole
1:01:21time I was covered in a little bit of
1:01:23shame because i like that i like the
1:01:25people that gave me the land jaegers and
1:01:28I and I did consider the supreme act of
1:01:31generosity but i just could not stomach
1:01:33these Landers and eventually they went
1:01:34down the river
1:01:36mmm yeah which was you know terrible i
1:01:39just want their land Yeager for the
1:01:41first time it's bigger than I thought it
1:01:42would be it's not a slim jim it really
1:01:44old like it's like a small-ish like
1:01:46legitimate sausage
1:01:47yeah it's a it well and the more that
1:01:51the the more that the moisture goes out
1:01:53of it the more it becomes it's like if
1:01:56you're let's see it's bigger than your
1:01:59finger
1:02:00yeah it's bigger than its like if you
1:02:03took a candle your typical candle em you
1:02:07burned it for an hour and then you a
1:02:13it around in your pocket okay for a
1:02:15couple of weeks and I mean like it's on
1:02:18stage and pocket candle its that's right
1:02:20it's a candle that has had wax dripped
1:02:22down the side of it from having burned
1:02:24for an hour and then you took it out and
1:02:25carried around your pocket for let's say
1:02:27the length of time it took you to get
1:02:29these goats over the mountain but it
1:02:30matches the performance characteristics
1:02:31you look for in this kind of thing it's
1:02:34not like you're going to carry around
1:02:35like what like poached eggs or porridge
1:02:37in your pocket and you need something
1:02:38portable something's gonna be Hardy that
1:02:40idiotic let's be honest if you fall off
1:02:42the tractor it's not gonna ruin your
1:02:43lunch
1:02:44well sure a it's it's like if you could
1:02:49carry a pickle in your pocket I'd love
1:02:51that a little pickle
1:02:52yeah you can't carry a pickle in your
1:02:54pocket it's going to get your that the
1:02:56the brine is going to give you a rash
1:02:59oh that's a shame but al and Yeager's
1:03:01not going to give you a rash who and
1:03:03it's um yeah I carry them around the
1:03:06thing about beef jerky is beef jerky
1:03:08gets its hard to eat get stuck in your
1:03:12teeth
1:03:12yeah it isn't it is this a little more
1:03:14moist to desiccate it as it is a little
1:03:16more moist and jerky
1:03:18absolutely it snaps my guests like a
1:03:21slim jim
1:03:22there's more to it it doesn't involve
1:03:25any kind of pro-wrestling element
1:03:27yeah I understand when you bite into it
1:03:29you imagine I mean like if this was a
1:03:33television commercial and I've never
1:03:35seen a commercial for land taker but if
1:03:37this was a television commercial
1:03:39I'd be like a guy just a normal guy
1:03:41walking around his normal guy clothes
1:03:43and then I'd snap into a land jager
1:03:46instantly i will be wearing lederhosen
1:03:48what you want italian hat and I Rowland
1:03:51had and I would go world and the the
1:03:54commercial the tagline would be land
1:03:57eager turns you into a tyro lien em they
1:04:00can I workshop that little more hit land
1:04:03jager welcome to garmisch-partenkirchen
1:04:05mm and that well yeah okay so that's not
1:04:10a great i'm looking at him right now and
1:04:11they they look they look really to some
1:04:13you've never had you never have I don't
1:04:15know if I have I have I forgot it
1:04:18you have to go find the Bavarian butcher
1:04:21shop either like the Bavarian quarter of
1:04:23the sphere go to the Bavarian quarter
1:04:26well yeah san Francisco's famous
1:04:27Bavarian court who which is right over
1:04:30there by italian town and yeah you walk
1:04:34the streets and you you
1:04:37yo for landecker that's the phrase you
1:04:40know for Yeager y'all for a jager didn't
1:04:44want to tell you addicted
1:04:46yeah oh he's more local la you get he go
1:04:53la de cola i think that the the process
1:04:58of making and jager kills ecoline I'm
1:05:00gonna just come right out and say
1:05:02whatever you you want my friends food
1:05:03podcast right direction that is not
1:05:06gonna he may agree or disagree
1:05:08uh-huh you make that he's got a lot of
1:05:10thoughts he doesn't get the consensus on
1:05:12that podcast seem to be everything you
1:05:15put in your mouth there is an element of
1:05:17risk and all we can do as eaters is to
1:05:22measure the risk and bite into those
1:05:26things where we've determined that the
1:05:27risk is manageable life would be so much
1:05:32better if we acknowledge that that's the
1:05:33way everything is yeah i think that
1:05:36there is not an inherent risk in things
1:05:38that causes problems everything is risky
1:05:41everything is risky just haven't
1:05:42quantified yet yeah that's why anxious
1:05:44people are technically right
1:05:47hello um and so capacity Podsednik be
1:05:54technically right about time how I
1:05:55you're technically right little the
1:05:58capacity to live in the world is
1:06:00determined by your ability to or we're
1:06:03on the sliding scale of risk management
1:06:05you're gonna you're gonna put the marker
1:06:08where you say this is the amount of risk
1:06:12I'm willing to take em and my risk
1:06:15marker is way out
1:06:17I think relative to others I'm going to
1:06:19take a lot of risk not knowing that
1:06:24knowing that everything could everything
1:06:26can potentially kill you
1:06:27I mean I have a basket full of swords in
1:06:29this house yeah which is not when you
1:06:32know when my child was born and there
1:06:34was all that all that talk in the
1:06:36culture of the people who were around me
1:06:39at the time who were helping me make
1:06:42manage the transition between not having
1:06:44a child in my house and having a child
1:06:46in my house I think they would if they
1:06:48had known about the basket of swords
1:06:49they would have said you need to get
1:06:51that out of here called baby-proofing
1:06:52yeah baby proofing your house they put
1:06:54they were telling me I should put things
1:06:56in the electrical outlets right now
1:06:57should take all the cleaning supplies
1:06:59out from under the sink and all the
1:07:01things we supposed to do they don't even
1:07:03do that they don't even didn't know
1:07:05about the basket swords I didn't really
1:07:08baby proof my house I house proof my
1:07:10baby that's a smart but what I did do
1:07:13was I took all of the vintage a
1:07:16barristers both cases out of what became
1:07:19the baby's room because that the glass
1:07:23in the front of those cases is fairly
1:07:25thin
1:07:25oh yeah me and it's not exactly like
1:07:27shatterproof and I said maybe I should
1:07:30transform this library that is now the
1:07:33baby's room into an actual baby's room
1:07:35and take all the things that could kill
1:07:36her out of here and i moved all of my
1:07:39vintage poisons to higher shelves in to
1:07:42outsmart the SMART we just I think as
1:07:44far as i know i've removed as of this
1:07:46weekend i remove the last piece of
1:07:50baby-proofing we unintentionally kept
1:07:52around it's all going to what we will be
1:07:55doing for years so it starts out with
1:07:56the first thing you got to get rid of is
1:07:58that bullshit that makes it hard to open
1:07:59things so write it like the things that
1:08:02keep your poison drawer like I know you
1:08:03don't have this with your vintage
1:08:04poisons but a lot of times you put some
1:08:05kind of a clasp on there we got to know
1:08:07the secret knock to get into where the
1:08:09windex is and and you take those
1:08:12officers you can cause that's the worst
1:08:13because you're living with that every
1:08:14day and then eventually like the
1:08:16doorknob things that won't let you lock
1:08:17a door and that's the kind of stuff you
1:08:19get those off but I finally took off the
1:08:21last one it was a safety because it
1:08:23didn't matter that it was an inert form
1:08:25of baby-proofing that we didn't need to
1:08:27worry about
1:08:28it's one of those things where you put
1:08:29it over a lights ah look at little to
1:08:32pick knows light outlet power outlet and
1:08:35allows you to snap a cover onto it so
1:08:36you can still have stuff
1:08:38yeah so I remove that so we could put
1:08:40the the cat the cat relaxing diffuser
1:08:42into their without bumping up against
1:08:43the edges of the plastic you have a you
1:08:45have some kind of electric device that
1:08:47diffuses your cat with two electric
1:08:49devices in our house
1:08:50that uh that dispensed through the
1:08:54diffusion method defuse a chemical into
1:08:56the air that relaxes the cat haha I
1:09:03couldn't do that when is baby-proofed so
1:09:05it's like a febreze for cats
1:09:08mhm it's a febreze for cats emotions
1:09:11abroad for cata motion for brees does it
1:09:14does it counteract the triska dekha
1:09:18plasmosis
1:09:19oh right thing we don't eat the poop
1:09:21because they don't let ya have trusted
1:09:23your cat lover
1:09:24yeah yeah I don't know I I can't tell
1:09:27this is again this is one of those you
1:09:28know one of those things where you can
1:09:31it's hard to tell if it works you know
1:09:32whether the guy says they were guess
1:09:33what he doing he says I'm here scare
1:09:35away the alligators and mrs. there's no
1:09:37alligators here is to see it's working
1:09:38its work so we got two of these and we
1:09:40within a week we noticed the cats seem
1:09:42calmer so it's difficult we don't have a
1:09:44control cat once again we're back to
1:09:45that old problem there's no control
1:09:46group does your cap suffering from
1:09:48anxiety sure she does she's very
1:09:50skittish I see and I think she does it
1:09:52on purpose to provoke me she's been
1:09:55living with us since februari and she
1:09:56knows that we walk through the house
1:09:58yeah we walked through the house on a
1:09:59regular basis and so he's just got that
1:10:01that stands in the hallway and she
1:10:03stares she stares into something in a
1:10:05state of readiness she at first she just
1:10:08kinda looks like some kind of hairy cake
1:10:09and she just sits there and then she
1:10:11looks at me and her face is like
1:10:12what-what and I walk a little bit and
1:10:14she was into a ready position and then
1:10:16she starts walking in the direction that
1:10:18she knows that I am walking one step in
1:10:21front of me she stops acts terrified
1:10:24jumps a little bit to where she knows
1:10:26I'm gonna walk more than does kind of a
1:10:28180 and starts running in abject fear
1:10:31and does this keep your because it
1:10:35doesn't impede establishing a gentle
1:10:38pace for you are you are you saying oh
1:10:41you're trying not to step on her you're
1:10:43trying your like I'm also kind of
1:10:45startled now just one thing you know
1:10:47about me John you notice that I like
1:10:48velocity this it's important to me to
1:10:51get in motion
1:10:52you can't stay in motion until you get
1:10:54in motion right this is not addressed
1:10:57because a trap it's very hard to get out
1:10:59of the house on a weekend morning
1:11:01because I
1:11:02velocity in the form of my child she
1:11:05will not allow me to have any velocity
1:11:06until at least 12 30 so it's like you
1:11:10know you gotta get the shoes we gotta do
1:11:11the thing we got to go do that thing
1:11:14that you're cranking up an old air raid
1:11:16siren like and the cat she knows what
1:11:20she's doing she knows which and then and
1:11:22then at night as she comes into powder
1:11:24for two hours so that's we have a very
1:11:27good relationship but but now I think
1:11:29she's just I think she's just frightened
1:11:31ham to be honest
1:11:32yeah you don't mean I think I think she
1:11:34knows what she's doing at some point in
1:11:36the nineteen eighties my mom was in the
1:11:381960s my mom raised board boys and a and
1:11:44considers herself that my mom is a
1:11:46frequent character on this podcast she
1:11:48considered herself to your grant or
1:11:51something is there we should get maybe
1:11:52like some kind of macarthur thing
1:11:54yeah pell grant or a parent talk for a
1:11:56witness
1:11:57um huh
1:12:00she raised boys and I and I think maybe
1:12:03not in accurately credits herself partly
1:12:07with reestablishing the borzoi as a as a
1:12:10viable breed in the Americas
1:12:13wow just the boys were were fairly
1:12:16endangered because at during the Russian
1:12:19Revolution the the Russian peoples the
1:12:23revolutionary Russian peoples killed the
1:12:25board boys all mass because they were
1:12:27the dogs of these ours all those is he
1:12:30had killed a symbol
1:12:31yeah kill the simple kill the dogs of
1:12:33the Czar's and so the the borzoi only
1:12:35survived in the population of boys that
1:12:38had been given to other Kings as gifts
1:12:41but czars and so my mom raised boys and
1:12:46sold borzoi pups to the people who are
1:12:49now credited with having re-establish
1:12:52the breeds for the breed so she so she
1:12:55reads the history of the borzoi in
1:12:57America as you do
1:12:59who and it sort of goes back to the
1:13:03Johnson family and the percocet family
1:13:06or whatever sure that then percocet the
1:13:08percocet boys
1:13:09yeah then the New England percocets okay
1:13:11uh and it's the Walla Walla Walla
1:13:15mhm and she says you know what I sold
1:13:17three puppies to the to the New England
1:13:19percocets and that's that's where they
1:13:21got their dogs right so another coming
1:13:25back to the well that's right the
1:13:27percocets are coming up dry and they
1:13:29have to go outside New England to find a
1:13:31borzoi now and they're going to call
1:13:33oh no I think that it was the i think
1:13:35it's it's even earlier than that I think
1:13:36they were sitting up there in New
1:13:37England and they were reading a magazine
1:13:39and they said oh we want boys
1:13:41I and my mom had the had one of the few
1:13:44populations I ok I get it
1:13:46this is in the sixties so she connects
1:13:49with all the credit but they weren't
1:13:50really on the boys I'm a flower like
1:13:53your mom was that's right that's right
1:13:54she's the she's the herbivores like uh
1:13:57huh and she got rid of her boys in the
1:14:02late sixties when manouschka her chief
1:14:06her chief mayor a bit me like 40 times
1:14:14in the face right face of one-and-a-half
1:14:16side block that out but now i remember
1:14:17that's horrible
1:14:19so we didn't have boards for a long time
1:14:21but then in the nineteen eighties when I
1:14:23was in high school mom decided that she
1:14:25wanted a borzoi again and so she bought
1:14:27this board is only puppy tell us be
1:14:29honest she wasn't that worried about you
1:14:30anymore
1:14:31at that point if a borzoi bit me on the
1:14:33face it was probably my fault he
1:14:35probably had it coming
1:14:36that's right i wasn't i if you're
1:14:38antagonizing the borzoi that's right the
1:14:40two don't antagonize the board's away
1:14:42and I wasn't antagonizing the board but
1:14:46she bought a borzoi puppy and if you
1:14:48know anything about boys even as a even
1:14:51as a puppy a boy's about the size of a
1:14:54comfort horse and so here you'd have you
1:15:02have a comfortable with that in the form
1:15:04of a dog either covered horses and
1:15:06you're not aware that twice I've seen
1:15:08guys saw the comfort duck the other day
1:15:10I see pigs sure we remember all too well
1:15:14because I didn't want to be able to take
1:15:15a horse on a plane seems like that
1:15:17stick-up
1:15:18I just want you right now to google
1:15:20comfort horse ok because they're small
1:15:22horses like lil Sebastian ok come house
1:15:25but it's still a horse so I don't you
1:15:28can make a horse as small as maybe you
1:15:31would want if you had a comfort animal I
1:15:34mean it but apparently people who want
1:15:37comfort animals who need comfort animals
1:15:39find the comfort horse to be very
1:15:41comforting
1:15:43I can i no know this and I I i get that
1:15:46like if you have you happen to have
1:15:47stables and require comfort horse seems
1:15:50like a great fit to me well but a
1:15:51comfort horse doesn't need a stable
1:15:52comfort worse i think can curl up on in
1:15:55a basket oh my goodness but it's got to
1:15:57be a big basket
1:15:58ok mm and so the borzoi puppy was the
1:16:03size of a comfort horse but it was a dog
1:16:04and it had it was it suffered from an
1:16:10anxiety disorder that meant that anytime
1:16:14it saw you it immediately ran in every
1:16:17direction simultaneous on now because
1:16:19the depositor you know going each each
1:16:22Paul going a different direction because
1:16:24it's a it's an enormous wolf hunting dog
1:16:26that's living in a home on my gosh
1:16:29and then it would hide under bet
1:16:31couldn't fit under the couch it would
1:16:32have tried to hide under the couch of it
1:16:34could because it thought it was the size
1:16:35of a rabbit all the poor thing
1:16:37it was terrible and so I was living in
1:16:40the house with a with a comfort horse
1:16:43sized dog that wanted nothing at all to
1:16:47do with me it never allowed me to touch
1:16:49it and I was a I was a rambunctious teen
1:16:52that was myself the size of a comfort
1:16:55horse i was even bigger than comfort
1:16:57oars tell me hands
1:16:58I'm unit 210 hands hi I'm Stan hands
1:17:02uh-huh and and you know I behaved i was
1:17:05i was the size of a comfort horse but I
1:17:07behaved like an African cat and I but
1:17:13but even so a product you look a little
1:17:17bit of a of a leaping predator i'm going
1:17:20to be an African Cats see that's just
1:17:21how your bread you just go straight up
1:17:24in the air huh
1:17:25and you can catch you could catch a
1:17:27comfort duck that was those in the
1:17:29process of taking off we can probably
1:17:31get a lot of small comfort animals
1:17:32I mean there's like a 50 seconds are
1:17:35things you get probably comfort rat or
1:17:37it but if you were if you had enough
1:17:40African Cats you could take down with
1:17:41the Beast moon and i'm not talking about
1:17:44a comfort will or something i'm talking
1:17:47about a roar and Mellie's more
1:17:53comforting than a small wildebeest
1:17:55especially with has a big basket Wilbur
1:18:00beast in a basket i know i've had the
1:18:05name it feels the same law so soon was
1:18:10very I felt anxious and I hardly ever
1:18:13feel like this sounds like quite a bit
1:18:15toxic else to for everyone involved
1:18:17well sure because I when your mom your
1:18:19mom's got it she's got arbitrate right
1:18:20well she's your favorite the borzoi she
1:18:25was able to communicate with the board
1:18:27because the board's I borzoi bonded with
1:18:29her as some sort of parental or at least
1:18:32you know the the borzoi perceived my mom
1:18:34as the feeder they did a car lauren said
1:18:36the boy imprinted on your mom imprinted
1:18:39on them all
1:18:39that's right my mom would ring a bell
1:18:41and the boards i would get the wood
1:18:43would stand on the stool to get the
1:18:45banana who
1:18:47so but I can I was the first one home
1:18:50every day right I got off of school and
1:18:53I could transport myself and my sister
1:18:55would just go hang out under the statue
1:18:57of Captain Cook and smoke clove
1:18:59cigarettes but I went home because I
1:19:03wanted to take a nap on the on the sun
1:19:05room couch and so I would walk in and
1:19:08who knows what the board was doing all
1:19:09day but then there would be this like
1:19:11clattering hooves as it ran to find
1:19:15shelter somewhere you know where it
1:19:18couldn't be somewhere I guess it thought
1:19:20that it was it was a pray for Eagles
1:19:23because it would hide under things and
1:19:26my icing animals that hide under things
1:19:28are scared of eagles all that demux
1:19:32sense right if you were hiding from a
1:19:34cat you wouldn't hide under a bed you
1:19:36want to go Wiegel Eagles won't dare
1:19:38that's right now button so you go under
1:19:41for eagles / for cats smart or what
1:19:45about behind that's like you're being
1:19:47attacked by a deer or Wilbur fees are
1:19:49will feast
1:19:50ok if you about your if Wilbur pieces in
1:19:52your house is that comfortable for
1:19:54East no i'm talking about the standard a
1:19:56standard or okay you don't need to hide
1:19:59from a comfort will feast but if you're
1:20:02looking i think in order to in order to
1:20:04hide from will be simple and bulls and
1:20:07boars huh that's behind the couch
1:20:11alright because i don't know about their
1:20:13eyes is making about making a lot a lot
1:20:14of sense to me
1:20:15yeah right up for cats down for Eagles
1:20:18behind four boards and and and and will
1:20:21blow her face and you just want to nap
1:20:22i'm just trying to get on the sunroom
1:20:25count yeah 10 and and you think the dog
1:20:28was intimidated by the thought you were
1:20:30an eagle
1:20:30no I just think the dog and the dog had
1:20:33an anxiety disorder and eventually after
1:20:35you know after nine months which in the
1:20:38life of a teenager is a long time no God
1:20:40and this thing got bigger and bigger
1:20:42until it was the size of a comfort piano
1:20:44get a comfort animal for your animal
1:20:48because i know i saw a really sweet
1:20:50picture of a dog that has its own
1:20:52seeing-eye dog
1:20:53I mean I as is a comfort all the way
1:20:55down it can you can you keep providing
1:20:57layers of comfort by adding adding new
1:20:59animals to the situation to have to be
1:21:01animals do they have to live together
1:21:02could just be like a correspondence but
1:21:04is there some way that that you could
1:21:05bring in maybe an ironic animal maybe
1:21:08you could bring in a really nice eagle
1:21:09and it would really look first at first
1:21:11to be really scared but then pretty soon
1:21:13as pet Neagle you've seen the you've
1:21:16seen the videos of the cat and the foul
1:21:18the guy who has the only pussy cat
1:21:22yeah that's right he has a pet owl and a
1:21:24pet cat and they play with each other
1:21:26the owl will swoop down huh this is a
1:21:29this is a swoop and now this isn't like
1:21:31a house out my it's not comfortable
1:21:33well is it ties into your cat and
1:21:36possible situation where you go hey you
1:21:38know turns out it seems like these these
1:21:40guys are going out for each other but
1:21:41they're sitting around playing connector
1:21:42in their underpants sure because they
1:21:44understand that's right there in the
1:21:45there there in the book a return of
1:21:48animal mentality that's right so that
1:21:51the owl swoops down and the cat leaps up
1:21:54because they're leapers who jumps up in
1:21:56the air to like bat at the owl and the
1:21:59AL keeps going back and forth on purpose
1:22:02so the cat can leap at it and they both
1:22:06are having a merry old time
1:22:08and then they retire together to sit and
1:22:11groom one another all that is so sweet i
1:22:14would love to see that
1:22:15well I think it's on the internet okay
1:22:16and you've seen the big dogs with the
1:22:18little kittens Leslie this is my entire
1:22:20day my entire day and now that my spirit
1:22:22has been broken by this election cycle
1:22:24all i do is look at cute animals on the
1:22:25internet it's a pretty much all my
1:22:27family looks at now and then tells you
1:22:29how many cute animals on the Internet
1:22:31oh my god saying there are a lot of cute
1:22:32animals we did that to ourselves color i
1:22:35know i know you need that we need it we
1:22:36need we need our own comfort animals
1:22:38yeah well that's exactly right where's
1:22:40my deck we took a angry hunters who and
1:22:44wee-wee natural natural selected them
1:22:47who we evolution evolution eyes because
1:22:50the hand of the the unseen hand of
1:22:52evolution that we've located in this
1:22:54particular sphere that we found
1:22:56that's right now my hand and we took the
1:22:59we took the beasts and we turn and we
1:23:01turn them into into big-eyed doze and
1:23:06and moo cows that give us milk and so
1:23:10now we have an owl and pussycat
1:23:13it's only a matter of time before they
1:23:15figure out a way to mate and how you get
1:23:18what you gonna do when you see one of
1:23:19those in your barn I couldn't contain
1:23:21what what what would you say is the
1:23:23difference between you play D&D what you
1:23:25see is the difference between a familiar
1:23:27and a comfort animal do is Magic
1:23:29required
1:23:30i I really really really want to the
1:23:36familiar i could see that well in any in
1:23:38the course of trying to make an orb it
1:23:40seems like maybe having a cat that you
1:23:42can talk to might be useful
1:23:44I feel like a familiar is somewhat under
1:23:46your either under your direction or at
1:23:51least you're able to consult with it
1:23:53ok I'm looking over here so if you had a
1:23:55capuchin monkey that could put your food
1:23:57in a microwave oven and spend cook it
1:24:00okay that's that's getting pretty close
1:24:03too familiar like I said today we might
1:24:05call that a helper monkey helper monkey
1:24:07is I feel like getting into the familiar
1:24:10zone
1:24:11ok if you're just feeding and petting
1:24:13the thing that's more of a blow fieldcat
1:24:16ok so we've identified you have an
1:24:18animal in the wild might like a will
1:24:21feast
1:24:21you've got you get animals in the wild
1:24:23you got animals that have been
1:24:24domesticated for work you have animals
1:24:27that are domesticated for pet things
1:24:29you've got animals that can be at from
1:24:32one of those things i guess you pivot
1:24:34and you convert them to I guess what
1:24:36comfort animal
1:24:37yeah but then you also have helper once
1:24:39now would it be ethical to have two
1:24:43horses in your house one of which is a
1:24:45helper horse and one of which is a
1:24:47familiar and just for fun throwing a
1:24:49third what if you get a third one is
1:24:50even cuter that's a pet
1:24:52ok when they get along should they get
1:24:54along do they sleep in different baskets
1:24:56I don't feel like a comfort animal is
1:24:59much aid to you other than being
1:25:01friendly
1:25:03although and asking to make you eggs I
1:25:06wouldn't i wouldn't say like comfort
1:25:08animal can you get up on that high shelf
1:25:10and bring me down that chachki ok bring
1:25:12me down the jar of sugar
1:25:14bring me that sword bring me the sword
1:25:15from the sword basket comfort beast I
1:25:19would not ask that
1:25:20and yet even the niceness I think is a
1:25:26is called into question by the presence
1:25:28of a comfort turkey because i do not
1:25:30believe that turkey can be nice
1:25:32turkeys are pretty mean-spirited they're
1:25:34mean and i don't think that a turkey has
1:25:36the capacity to be nice
1:25:38whatever part of the brain locates the
1:25:41niceness whatever lies they are located
1:25:44yeah within the spirit of the brain of
1:25:45an animal the truck is missing that part
1:25:47of the brain
1:25:48okay so apparently a confidence is
1:25:50nothing and non-existence fear part that
1:25:52we would think of as being like in
1:25:54necessarily familiar could still be a
1:25:56familiar it would not it could be a pet
1:25:58faked it but it's not going to be
1:26:00comforting and certainly will make you
1:26:01eggs i think the comfort animal is a
1:26:03vessel into which you prove that you
1:26:06project your desire for comfort you your
1:26:10desire to be comforted when the animal
1:26:13reflects your desire to be comfortable
1:26:15for comforted back to use a cipher so
1:26:18it's right here you're looking at the
1:26:19turkey and if you see if you seek
1:26:21comfort in the turkey it is prima facie
1:26:23CAA comfort turkey for seasonal whatever
1:26:27you find comforting is comfortable
1:26:30proceed
1:26:31small you could have a comfort waste
1:26:33basket right if you bought up if you
1:26:36bought an extra ticket for a seat on an
1:26:38airplane for a wastebasket
1:26:40okay wait we were events it could
1:26:43fulfill that role
1:26:45mhm what is the largest comfort animal
1:26:48you would personally feel comfortable
1:26:50how do I put this what's the largest
1:26:52comfort animal you would be willing to
1:26:54take on a plane I assuming let's assume
1:26:57that you know what let's get let's
1:26:59assume economy plus right
1:27:02is that fair yeah uh what about a
1:27:04comfort Sal now salads a big male hog me
1:27:09right i think it sounds a big female
1:27:11it's a big ladyhawke lady hog here's the
1:27:14question at something I don't know about
1:27:16hogs can hog sit in a chair with these
1:27:20slips it if you put hog on its butt and
1:27:24melt it in a hall would sit comfortably
1:27:27candidates architecture support itself
1:27:29sitting on it has little holes in his
1:27:31lap yeah writer or maybe the way that
1:27:35they're built the homes would just be
1:27:36sticking straight out maybe you'd have
1:27:38to put the tray down it can put the
1:27:40hub's top top hooves on the tray right
1:27:42right and then it's like you pull the
1:27:44curly tail under ok little tip of the
1:27:47curly tail sticking out probably in
1:27:49orthopedics eat that can accommodate a
1:27:50curly tail but what happens what if what
1:27:53happens when one more of us exercise our
1:27:55right to put a vest on animal and bring
1:27:56it on a plane
1:27:57what happens when we get into something
1:27:59a little more as John syracuse it's a
1:28:01Darwinian like what happens if one
1:28:04person has a comfort eagle and the other
1:28:06person has a comfort boards away or a
1:28:08comfort rabbit comfort comfort rep like
1:28:11what if you got what you got an allen
1:28:12the rabbit and a rabbit in the two aisle
1:28:14seats across from each other
1:28:16cool do we do we expect that they're
1:28:19just gonna leave each other alone
1:28:20because they got the best and they know
1:28:21what the deal is
1:28:22mmm
1:28:22mmm has lost a lot to ask john are you
1:28:25introducing a problem right and fouls
1:28:27not going to be friends with a rabbit
1:28:28let's just stipulate that and of course
1:28:31you're going to give your comfort animal
1:28:32the aisle seat
1:28:34I think center if it's a helper animal
1:28:36you wanted in the island probably a
1:28:37little introverted you probably like to
1:28:38have the window so yeah right whatever
1:28:42you have comfort animals John sure he
1:28:46was happy and my must happen
1:28:48statistically and i think almost
1:28:50everyone has a comfort animal so i would
1:28:52have to imagine we've now gotten to that
1:28:54point like homosexuality and veganism
1:28:56where it's crossing broad spectrum of
1:28:58the sphere removing way beyond this
1:29:00quarter that quarter this Venn diagram
1:29:02now more and more people are going to
1:29:04find comfort in animal and let's be
1:29:06honest it's good for the airline
1:29:07industry lot of times they can't fill
1:29:08those seats
1:29:09that's right you might find they're
1:29:10gonna charge you full price if you bring
1:29:12a salad on an airplane they're gonna
1:29:13charge you full price
1:29:14absolutely and I think if you want to
1:29:16check a bag maybe 75 bucks
1:29:18my sense is that there are comfort their
1:29:21actual comfort animals that are actually
1:29:22providing needed comfort to people who
1:29:25need comforting and then there are fake
1:29:28comfort animals that are the comfort
1:29:31animals that you are kind of reply or
1:29:33referring I want you to get all the
1:29:35email for this but it's my understanding
1:29:37that this has actually become a problem
1:29:39when i'm not saying any of this is right
1:29:42wrong or whatever I honestly don't want
1:29:43to get involved but it's my
1:29:44understanding that a lot of people are
1:29:45making vests at home because they want
1:29:48the pen on the plane
1:29:49yes right i mean it's like so we talked
1:29:52about this i think even last week the
1:29:54testing of your child to see if they are
1:29:56gifted who do we talked about this last
1:30:00week we talked about previously the
1:30:01efforts that should be in some program
1:30:03with an acronym right that's right if
1:30:05your if your child needs to be in a
1:30:06program with an acronym and they get
1:30:09tested to see if they qualify and so
1:30:13they sent us an email saying a do you
1:30:15want to have your child tested and we
1:30:17said yes and then they immediately wrote
1:30:21back and said you're testing is sunday
1:30:23morning at 7am October row 28 and we or
1:30:28whatever and yeah I follow that and we
1:30:30said what when we said yeah I guess so
1:30:34we didn't know that
1:30:35and that we were supposed to report
1:30:37somewhere for an sa80 test for a
1:30:38five-year-old little presumptuous and
1:30:41right and what kind of I mean they can't
1:30:43right you're not going to give them a
1:30:44thing that says pick the pic which wich
1:30:48example doesn't fit with the others
1:30:49this is how they picked the Dalai Lama
1:30:51they might take him out too like I like
1:30:52a picnic put some things on a blanket
1:30:54you know if you pick up the ride altoids
1:30:57you know you grab the right set of you
1:30:59know USB headphones that that's how do I
1:31:01know that you're the next gifted child
1:31:03yeah then so then a monk throws some
1:31:05confetti in the air and they're like its
1:31:07you write the white smoke comes out of
1:31:09the mark
1:31:10mhm but in this case we we were startled
1:31:13by this and we talked to some other
1:31:15parents well it's so here's the
1:31:17anecdotes up we talked to two different
1:31:20people who said we had our child tested
1:31:24and they didn't get into the gifted
1:31:26program so we hired an independent
1:31:29tester and in the Seattle School
1:31:32District I guess you have to have your
1:31:34child tested by the city first but if
1:31:38your child doesn't pass the city test
1:31:40you are able to hire a private tester to
1:31:44verify the city's findings and in both
1:31:47cases
1:31:48wow the parents whose child did not get
1:31:52into the gifted program when they were
1:31:53tested at five years old to see if they
1:31:55were gifted then hired an independent
1:31:57tester and guess what i'm going to guess
1:31:59that that child turned out to be gifted
1:32:01that's exactly right the independent for
1:32:03higher tester determined that the city
1:32:05was mistaken and their child was in fact
1:32:08gifted to get a vest at that point on I
1:32:09think they do get they get what they get
1:32:12to get a Robin Hood hat
1:32:13oh that's doesn't that's a nice hat yeah
1:32:15the show some way to distinguish the man
1:32:18I'm just gonna be honest with you off
1:32:19the record this to me says going to jam
1:32:21ups this to me sounds like a who's who
1:32:23among american high school students like
1:32:26they're going to get you to catch out
1:32:26that we got a live one here they want
1:32:28the testing is going to get a lot of
1:32:30weird male well and respect you might
1:32:32want to use a fake name
1:32:33I hit it seems to me that if you can
1:32:37test if you can pay to have your child
1:32:39tested into this program then it is just
1:32:41a place where
1:32:42like busybody rich people are are
1:32:47putting their kids have no like it's a
1:32:48vest mill yeah no longer seems exactly
1:32:51printing you go in there you want a vest
1:32:53will make you a vest
1:32:54that's right you're a novelist now hey
1:32:56somebody to do to copy and paste your
1:32:59book into something
1:33:00mike is so we decided as a family last
1:33:02night that we were not going to go to
1:33:06this test that our child was going to
1:33:08the public schools and let the chips
1:33:10fall because this all sounds Bologna and
1:33:14no thanks no good for you I I you know
1:33:18for what it's worth I think you did the
1:33:19right thing because look at what do you
1:33:21suppose what you're gonna get like if
1:33:23they are gifted what changes
1:33:25yeah well they go over to a special
1:33:26place where they get to play with you
1:33:28know where they get to make origami
1:33:30swans Hoover trains to get to make
1:33:35cranes probably when I was in the gifted
1:33:37program in fourth grade in seattle which
1:33:40was called The Dig program the acronym
1:33:43stood for damn interesting a gadfly who
1:33:48I don't remember what it stood for but
1:33:50we may actually taught us to use slide
1:33:52rules because it was the move was the
1:33:56last gasp the dying day of the slide
1:33:59uh-huh and they talked to a bunch of
1:34:01fourth graders to you slide rules which
1:34:03was obsolete before they were they were
1:34:05they found me slide rules in a dumpster
1:34:08behind the the jet propulsion laboratory
1:34:11and which was you know they they all had
1:34:14digital calculators at that point they
1:34:15were like what are we going to do with
1:34:16these let's give them two gifted kids
1:34:17and see what they make and you know if
1:34:20they left us alone for three more
1:34:21minutes we would have made a like a
1:34:24toothpick Eiffel Tower out of these
1:34:25slide rules but in fact they had
1:34:28somebody come in and teach us how to use
1:34:29I couldn't use one now I think we get
1:34:31you and I could slam dunk this today if
1:34:33we got the resources we got your mom
1:34:34behind it's got some help from her i
1:34:36think that we go a little way beyond
1:34:38montessori i do we go basically we get
1:34:39the cheapest building we thought maybe
1:34:41the place you're being used to practice
1:34:42by the hugo house maybe you can get that
1:34:43back
1:34:44we got that because of one room
1:34:45schoolhouse and here's what you get Yuki
1:34:46bring your kid in and what we have we
1:34:48have we have encyclopedias we've got
1:34:51atlases yeah and we got her for horses
1:34:54and that's the schedule a
1:34:56and you you have to test into this
1:34:57program i don't know i'm not sure how
1:34:59you would get you definitely the best
1:35:00but you come in and and basically you
1:35:03just you read through the Encyclopedia
1:35:05all day long if you don't get dictionary
1:35:06go look it up in the dictionary
1:35:08we got atlases and then periodically you
1:35:10going to comforted by a horse so their
1:35:11horses small horses just milling around
1:35:14in the room where the shelves are just
1:35:17full of atlases and encyclopedia of
1:35:19course of course and and you know if you
1:35:21don't get an education in there somehow
1:35:23forget it
1:35:24you don't deserve to be a given that
1:35:25vest
1:35:31further