Roderick on the Line

Ep. 212: "There's My Ride"

 

  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

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  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

  good why are you laughing oh I heard the [TS]

  squawk squawk squawk of seabirds they're [TS]

  probably fighting over a dead rat yeah [TS]

  good for them the hair they're real [TS]

  they're real nice [TS]

  yells don't really eat anything I saw an [TS]

  infographic about possums the other day [TS]

  oh yeah it says basically said in that [TS]

  hey you know what'd be nice two possums [TS]

  because they have a lot of disadvantages [TS]

  but that's that's true what we are [TS]

  privileged we should be aware of that [TS]

  and there they are blind and have rat [TS]

  tails and nobody likes their face [TS]

  let's be honest there of their monsters [TS]

  they're terrifying but apparently turns [TS]

  out according to this infographic I [TS]

  found on tumblr which is never wrong [TS]

  right I opossum and no possum is an [TS]

  animal that we'll eat lots of nuisance [TS]

  animals i see it can eat tix and yet [TS]

  turns out it is immune to Lyme disease [TS]

  it's like America's little garbage man [TS]

  how do you who survived on a diet of tix [TS]

  I well I think they eat lots of [TS]

  different find infographic if you want I [TS]

  I think that's just part of their of [TS]

  their menu [TS]

  here's an interesting fact about possums [TS]

  em I'm able to do ready but possums are [TS]

  cats will accept possums and possums [TS]

  except cats as like Co habit ators like [TS]

  a cat and I have seen this with mine own [TS]

  eyes [TS]

  mmm a possible enter yard where there is [TS]

  previously a cat and the cat will just [TS]

  sit and lick its paws is that right and [TS]

  the possible just walk right on by the [TS]

  cats just looking at spawn and you're in [TS]

  your thinking do your job sir Mike hello [TS]

  cat here is vermin [TS]

  yeah and the cat says no this is my [TS]

  brethren who the possibility of a humble [TS]

  possum [TS]

  I consider a friend John are there other [TS]

  kinds of pairings like this in nature [TS]

  are there situations in the biome were [TS]

  two seemingly incompatible creatures can [TS]

  find some kind of common cause I feel [TS]

  like a whale sharks and run [TS]

  Laura mm right a Remora will just attach [TS]

  itself to a welsher when you know when [TS]

  we were making it science in nature's [TS]

  in-app purchase that's right exactly [TS]

  when we were making our real analogy you [TS]

  know I was thinking of a this the sort [TS]

  of leech like quality of certain kinds [TS]

  of meals and primarily Remora but I [TS]

  don't want to confuse people heal is [TS]

  much better when I think it's clear [TS]

  flammable and inflammable but that's [TS]

  right they both mean the same thing [TS]

  that's that that's really unfortunate [TS]

  too confusing thing it is confusing well [TS]

  it's like it's like regardless and [TS]

  irregardless is that a word [TS]

  oh I like that is a word i think it's a [TS]

  work regardless you know I'm afraid it's [TS]

  not what about braggadocious is that a [TS]

  word [TS]

  absolutely delicious and braggadocio I [TS]

  know brain OC oh yeah [TS]

  mamada spicy meatball braggadocious is [TS]

  something that rhymes with [TS]

  supercalifragilisticexpialidocious [TS]

  oh man you know you know you have you [TS]

  have great flow word something I've [TS]

  always admired about you [TS]

  well [TS]

  oh well look fresh I wonder where you [TS]

  got them [TS]

  polyester pants with the big [TS]

  bell-bottoms big brim hat makes me wanna [TS]

  holler a monkey plaid jacket with the [TS]

  20-foot college dance of 10 don't step [TS]

  on my toe with the platform shoes from [TS]

  the flashback star you make good money [TS]

  so I don't understand why a dress like a [TS]

  shop out of garbage can go into pitt [TS]

  shooting like Cupid you or that don't [TS]

  mean nothing like loopt it [TS]

  Oh looted a sign under what you like in [TS]

  case you missed it on the one that said [TS]

  just grab them in the biscuits really [TS]

  give him the Gatsby not hammer boom [TS]

  gasps base [TS]

  I was a little late today huh [TS]

  you had your reasons i went to a lunch [TS]

  the terrible thing in life is that every [TS]

  man has his reasons everybody has his [TS]

  reasons i went to lunch today [TS]

  oh there's my ride home now haha [TS]

  supertanker pulse in various white train [TS]

  pulls out I i went to lunch of the day [TS]

  and I should i was there on time and I [TS]

  got out of my car and I was like on time [TS]

  Charlie look at me I'm gonna go in there [TS]

  and get a table [TS]

  wait for these other suckers to roll in [TS]

  a lot of people say there's no such [TS]

  thing as being on time you're only early [TS]

  or late [TS]

  well so that's right exactly although i [TS]

  was i felt like i was precisely on time [TS]

  and I walk in and here are these two a.m [TS]

  fuckers who will who are sitting there [TS]

  at the table already and I walk over and [TS]

  I'm like what's up prompt and the one [TS]

  guy who's name is derrick ford esco and [TS]

  he's the bass player of the murder city [TS]

  devils and of pretty girls make great so [TS]

  you're in talks and now of the now of [TS]

  the cave singer there's going to be [TS]

  internet chatter about this are you in [TS]

  talks so just talking to the job just [TS]

  talking [TS]

  yeah and he says oh yeah being late is [TS]

  bullshit don't give me any of that late [TS]

  shit [TS]

  who interesting i was like who slowly [TS]

  roll Johnny and then the other guy that [TS]

  we're having lunch with brian Yeager is [TS]

  also already Roderick's make graves a [TS]

  hospital pretty rock and roll guitar [TS]

  player [TS]

  hmm he says all yeah late for hit that [TS]

  don't be late [TS]

  that's like the lamest thing and I was [TS]

  like okay all right everybody slow down [TS]

  this sounds ago and more you know video [TS]

  and uh and then they both my back and [TS]

  forth a couple times realizing as [TS]

  realizing from my reaction that I was [TS]

  Lady make later ssin they were like I [TS]

  mean you know habitually never felt like [TS]

  man people that are late [TS]

  fuck those people that's uncool you [TS]

  gotta be on time or early [TS]

  those are the only options i was like [TS]

  shit man this this lunches off to a [TS]

  whiz-bang starter who dressing me down [TS]

  you need that you need to maintain an [TS]

  expectation you know em what you think [TS]

  you mean you know about like maintain [TS]

  other people's expectations of me [TS]

  mhm gotta manage that shit yeah well you [TS]

  know who who's the songwriter at that [TS]

  lunch another like right songwriters [TS]

  late [TS]

  yeah some writers got deep thoughts to [TS]

  think cold day in hell when I start [TS]

  taking notes from a fucking bass player [TS]

  ah mhm I mean I'll take notes like if [TS]

  I'm playing the bass sure somebody said [TS]

  to me I started doing the snapchats now [TS]

  write your snapchat how's it going well [TS]

  no it's very confusing [TS]

  I've heard it's very confusing it but I [TS]

  but somebody a comment because of his [TS]

  people want to comment on your snapchats [TS]

  but the only place that they can do that [TS]

  is on Twitter so the only communication [TS]

  i get about my snapchats is on other [TS]

  social media platforms that's confusing [TS]

  it's like getting footnotes in a [TS]

  separate book [TS]

  exactly thats person receives move so [TS]

  like people are watching my snaps but [TS]

  they have no in-app capability to [TS]

  respond at all but thought was the chat [TS]

  part mean you can send another you can [TS]

  send that person a snap [TS]

  yes you can snap back to him oh and that [TS]

  thatthat's regarded as a chat [TS]

  I guess so to speak you you're speaking [TS]

  of visually yeah but I don't know [TS]

  anybody thrown snaps at me [TS]

  oh don't have it you can't eat [TS]

  you can't heart me can't repay me can't [TS]

  do anything [TS]

  oh but I get I guess I get tweets about [TS]

  the snaps and somebody treats me and [TS]

  says your voice is a lot different your [TS]

  snaps I'm like what are you talking [TS]

  about the video [TS]

  yeah i'm doing videos on snow you do via [TS]

  snap sorry it's like vine I'm doing [TS]

  fines on snaps i see you snap your fine [TS]

  i well I'm fine and snappy finding the [TS]

  snow yeah I'm not snapping anybody [TS]

  because i haven't made vines in a long [TS]

  time he couldn't wait anymore [TS]

  yeah what are you making vines about [TS]

  although i still would be an Internet [TS]

  comedian file account still click on I [TS]

  still click on links sometimes in [TS]

  twitter that take me to buy because I [TS]

  follow a lot of people in black Twitter [TS]

  I was that writing is different from [TS]

  where Twitter very different i mean [TS]

  there is some overlap of black Twitter [TS]

  and where Twitter Venn diagram you get a [TS]

  little bit of overlap is underwear black [TS]

  Twitter you know I don't there's a not a [TS]

  weird like Twitter oh you're talking [TS]

  about [TS]

  yes there is a weird well i don't know i [TS]

  think i think weird Twitter there are [TS]

  black Twitterers who who work within [TS]

  weird Twitter hmm i don't think there's [TS]

  enough of that there's actually like [TS]

  weird like where we're at last matter [TS]

  but i do feel that from black Twitter I [TS]

  get sent to vine [TS]

  oh yeah the hashtags and vines ya allah [TS]

  that's where i'm seeing I get it I get [TS]

  the feeling a lot of the scent hashtags [TS]

  made out of sentences are black Twitter [TS]

  thing is that right [TS]

  I don't see the IC hashtags out of [TS]

  sentences do you know you're eating at [TS]

  McDonald's win move five ways to end a [TS]

  bris or whatever like you get to get [TS]

  these I've seen those in the trending [TS]

  and I'm like that huh [TS]

  I I feel like well there are a couple of [TS]

  black Twitter's let's be honest there [TS]

  are 15 black Twitter's and I don't [TS]

  really get I'm not into the like hashtag [TS]

  sentences world if I see somebody that's [TS]

  hashtag sentencing me a lot in any [TS]

  Twitter world [TS]

  oh I generally move away from them [TS]

  towards someone else I've noticed in my [TS]

  twitter feed know lately who I can't [TS]

  believe we're sitting here talking [TS]

  already this long about Twitter but [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  nine out of ten tweets in my feed our [TS]

  links [TS]

  right links to elsewhere you know like [TS]

  here's the thing i saw take a look at [TS]

  this here's the thing i wrote here's a [TS]

  blah blah blah Lincoln links [TS]

  hmm and I'm like where you know then [TS]

  I'll see somebody who's just using [TS]

  Twitter the way we used to do which is [TS]

  like here's a tweet i made you know and [TS]

  it's like oh what a refreshing breath of [TS]

  pressure [TS]

  mr. and mrs. i misspoke Twitter yeah [TS]

  just like oh this is a person who is [TS]

  still making tweets not linking to [TS]

  something not using it as a you know [TS]

  some diabolical Clearinghouse but they [TS]

  treated like the last row of desks in a [TS]

  fifth-grade class which is what it [TS]

  should be [TS]

  Wow last row of desks in 1st 5th grade [TS]

  class that's a great Morsi song i really [TS]

  love your flow [TS]

  thank you man you're just like 222 don't [TS]

  call it a comeback [TS]

  the last row deaths in a bit grade class [TS]

  of that with twitter is to my ass [TS]

  sitting here joke my mom I asked i got [TS]

  lots of boogers and gum under my desk [TS]

  WikiWiki will be displaying rhyme with [TS]

  desk flow flow flow i got the realm lew [TS]

  you remember a little Flo Flo bomb the [TS]

  bass I and so you got a snapchat and I [TS]

  gotta snaps right and somebody says my [TS]

  voice sounds different and I said you [TS]

  know of course because i can't let up [TS]

  comment like that go by yeah I say [TS]

  exactly what way does my voice sound [TS]

  different on the one media versus the [TS]

  other [TS]

  well apparently my voice on the podcast [TS]

  is deeper and fuller and richer [TS]

  hm whereas on the snaps which where [TS]

  where my voice is being transmitted [TS]

  through the tiniest microphone ever made [TS]

  in history of my voice sounds thinner [TS]

  and I didn't want to go I didn't want to [TS]

  go like 15 tweets deep into this but I'm [TS]

  like yes I am speaking into a [TS]

  professional microphone on the podcast [TS]

  going into a professional it [TS]

  analog-to-digital converter know where [TS]

  is on snapchat right I'm not to you know [TS]

  to digital all the way down and what I [TS]

  hear my voice like when I make a video [TS]

  of my daughter I actually talk faster in [TS]

  real life [TS]

  which seems improbable and I sound like [TS]

  me a four-year-old trying to play like a [TS]

  Charlie Parker solo [TS]

  uh-huh on I 11 on your nose well well [TS]

  well you're looking better but Obama [TS]

  banana [TS]

  well that was that's one of the things [TS]

  you can hear I want to philip larkin [TS]

  forget who it was but somebody who is a [TS]

  critical jack says every Charlie Parker [TS]

  riff sounds like the woody woodpecker's [TS]

  so no that's a peanuts a peanut [TS]

  I think that's strange because i thought [TS]

  the whole deal with all this social [TS]

  nonsense was it's all about the [TS]

  commenting I well I don't know I don't [TS]

  know anymore i I'm trying you're [TS]

  enjoying the change their snapping a [TS]

  chance [TS]

  it's interesting that snapping chat has [TS]

  inspired me it to a different style [TS]

  something i would not have done on vine [TS]

  which is just little you know I'm just [TS]

  walking along and I throw up the [TS]

  snapchat and i go about Bob Barker took [TS]

  a guy walking out a little bit [TS]

  Bob and avoid concert difference i know [TS]

  and and I don't know what is so much [TS]

  more like his stick interstitial would [TS]

  Whitney's pick up the bottom I something [TS]

  like that guy that I was in that [TS]

  bandwidth briefly who played the flute [TS]

  and also talked into the flute as he [TS]

  went by [TS]

  well with cause whatever happened he was [TS]

  scattering not talking was just like [TS]

  that [TS]

  what well i reckon i don't think i'd [TS]

  like that at all i was going to [TS]

  Hyderabad sure whatever but like now the [TS]

  catalonia smoke like growing along but [TS]

  like it's part of the tune like he's [TS]

  doing a tuvan flute singing he's a [TS]

  scattered gasps getting even [TS]

  but he's doing it over the top of the [TS]

  flute so all of the scattering also has [TS]

  like o.o accompaniment [TS]

  oh and then he'll been you'll do some to [TS]

  some flute riffing it's very jazz [TS]

  oh sure you know jazz flute oh yeah what [TS]

  are you gonna do what is that jean-luc [TS]

  ponty isn't he the jazz flute guy who [TS]

  have to look that up as well as my file [TS]

  card on jazz flute I think it's always [TS]

  John jean-luc ponty punkte see is he a [TS]

  flutist pharmd isn't he the person he [TS]

  says it all he plays the fiddle the film [TS]

  he whistles into it didn't really funky [TS]

  sounds easy [TS]

  tell me do you a range i'm asking this [TS]

  question I know the answer means you [TS]

  arrange the keys on your keychain into a [TS]

  system [TS]

  absolutely and how many keys are on your [TS]

  keychain right now exactly two yep yep [TS]

  yep yep yep yep exactly to Bob perfect [TS]

  album telephone cheeseburger bang [TS]

  telephone telephone me up yeah you keep [TS]

  it [TS]

  I have a lot of keys on my ring right [TS]

  now and I as you can imagine arrange [TS]

  them but they somehow have become [TS]

  unarranged and it's because I gave you [TS]

  know I took a couple of keys off to give [TS]

  to somebody when I was on I was away and [TS]

  then another key had to go off and then [TS]

  back on and now every time I come to a [TS]

  door [TS]

  oh I stand there like a fucking ape like [TS]

  starting over [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like you handed it's [TS]

  like you handed 5q balls to an ape and [TS]

  asked him to play stalker haha that's [TS]

  rough [TS]

  right yeah well it's like what the and I [TS]

  understand their pcs to play an [TS]

  Eightball it doesn't everything isn't [TS]

  snicker snicker snackers little table [TS]

  here drink some ale with the little pot [TS]

  a little pilot watch some cricket got [TS]

  five cue balls so I'm there I'm standing [TS]

  flipping through kies people with [TS]

  violence behind this is no way to live [TS]

  John but but now I'm kind enough I [TS]

  someone screwed up i'm baffled by the [TS]

  keys i have I don't know how to arrange [TS]

  them anymore i bet i've been like I feel [TS]

  like left behind everybody else is being [TS]

  raptured and I'm standing here to sign [TS]

  the fucking keys to the door with a [TS]

  miserable feeling yeah yeah I have two [TS]

  keys so that's not you can't really call [TS]

  that a system that's the system always a [TS]

  system buddy i haven't and I have a nice [TS]

  strong i don't know what you call that [TS]

  ring when you call that ring with the [TS]

  with the overlap way keychain what you [TS]

  call that there's gonna be any maybe a [TS]

  term of art for that key ring [TS]

  preservatives [TS]

  well there's no it's not the kind with a [TS]

  clasp it's the kind it's got the little [TS]

  you put your thumbnail under there and [TS]

  you open it up a little bit and then you [TS]

  turn it in turn it in turn it and it's [TS]

  almost like here's now here's a life [TS]

  hack [TS]

  I think putting keys on a keychain is a [TS]

  lot like backing up a truck with a [TS]

  trailer [TS]

  you just have to tell your mind to do [TS]

  the opposite of what you think he should [TS]

  do you ever had that advice with passion [TS]

  of the trailer [TS]

  well yeah right i mean it's like grab [TS]

  the bottom of the wheel and do [TS]

  everything backwards it's like you're in [TS]

  a canoe when you're in an eddy your your [TS]

  becalmed yeah in Eddie but you're going [TS]

  to enter the street you're going to [TS]

  enter this the river the stream again [TS]

  from the side you're going to go into [TS]

  the river but you're in the river [TS]

  already but you're in a your becalmed [TS]

  you're in you're ready you're ready here [TS]

  and you're gonna head in because the [TS]

  thing is you don't want it or not it's [TS]

  not a it's not a thing where you can [TS]

  just just gradually join the flow of the [TS]

  river you have to you have to go [TS]

  straight in from the side home and if [TS]

  you lean up river which every cell in [TS]

  your body is telling you to do because [TS]

  you're going from calm to rapid [TS]

  everything tells you lean upriver if [TS]

  that happens if you do that you're gonna [TS]

  flip that canoe and the last thing you [TS]

  think to do the last thing you want to [TS]

  do is lean down river when you enter [TS]

  into a river that away from the side [TS]

  uh-huh not what you want to do not only [TS]

  lean down river but like stretch here or [TS]

  out as far as you can down river and [TS]

  pull huh [TS]

  that is not what your body wants to see [TS]

  it's counter-intuitive it's a ticket to [TS]

  canoeing turns out that's right that's [TS]

  where that's how you're going to survive [TS]

  that move [TS]

  and you know there's a lot of there's a [TS]

  lot of things like this but the room [TS]

  you're saying there's a lot of things [TS]

  where you should not listen to your [TS]

  instincts [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like a possum in the [TS]

  cap m was a lot like a possibility that [TS]

  you've got to learn that sometimes [TS]

  sometimes your instincts are not just [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  they're the opposite and then you have [TS]

  to learn that expertise you learn that [TS]

  that's right thats the opposite ya like [TS]

  like saying when's the baby due [TS]

  never say that don't say when's the baby [TS]

  due I've done it haha [TS]

  I've done I've done it I did it I did it [TS]

  I did it I I this is not a bit i [TS]

  actually have done that and no i don't [TS]

  know i don't say that [TS]

  what happened so the fuck you talking [TS]

  about yeah i don't i'm not having a baby [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeah that's no that's no [TS]

  good [TS]

  Herbie Herbie Mann is a well-known jazz [TS]

  flautist really good look at the [TS]

  wikipedia page trying to find there's a [TS]

  name for for scatting while you play [TS]

  flute didn't hurt you man through the [TS]

  didn't do all the music from Miami Vice [TS]

  already did you rock it don't stop it [TS]

  okay you just you just completed three [TS]

  things in the most amazing way Michael [TS]

  man directed Miami Vice the guy the guy [TS]

  from that Jeff Beck thing young farmer [TS]

  did the music i see on homer and then [TS]

  Herbie Hancock did a rocket rocket about [TS]

  problems [TS]

  it's nothing yet Papa Papa papa Topo uh [TS]

  right up till don't oh if the people I i [TS]

  feel like the music of yon Homer who uh [TS]

  it holds up [TS]

  I had that record with him and jeff beck [TS]

  Werebear no brow pop while see what [TS]

  mythical of oh you know it was great it [TS]

  was a [TS]

  was him and Neal Schon is a no more lies [TS]

  said Hagar shown their engineers and [TS]

  just what was the one young hammer and [TS]

  Neil I think they didn't do an album [TS]

  together and they're in a cage and he's [TS]

  playing like a quitar sure I hammer lies [TS]

  lies no more lies that America's ahsaas [TS]

  Lives lives lives yeah it's gonna get [TS]

  you a lot [TS]

  yeah yeah here to stay by shown and [TS]

  Hammer with the hit song no more lies [TS]

  you'll notice the lies were a big theme [TS]

  in a tease papo sing it sister [TS]

  what does that song by Berlin oh no [TS]

  uh-uh not Berlin missing persons they [TS]

  had a song about like you do they had [TS]

  the walking in LA [TS]

  they had down they were good and missing [TS]

  persons missing persons were a good band [TS]

  they suffered from a tease production [TS]

  which I know we're not going to get into [TS]

  it's one of things we don't talk about [TS]

  but they were great their lives Frank [TS]

  Zappa's band that's right that's right a [TS]

  Dale Bozzio de Blasio eww the Dale [TS]

  Bozzio still no I probably don't [TS]

  remember if you don't make me their [TS]

  number is our um well did I ever tell [TS]

  you about the time that I met Dale [TS]

  Bozzio the sake of argument no tell me [TS]

  what when did you need you you're [TS]

  telling me you met Dale Bozzio not only [TS]

  oh wait you saw her on the street [TS]

  yeah yes Charlotte would you come to the [TS]

  shell was that and i saw on the street i [TS]

  was reading I was riding a bicycle right [TS]

  not a thing I always do [TS]

  mhm and uh and i'm i'm riding along and [TS]

  here's this this tiny little creature [TS]

  with you know sort of flamboyant hair [TS]

  pink and blonde hair and this was before [TS]

  everybody was wearing pink hair if you [TS]

  know what I'm saying uh-huh [TS]

  it was a different city laughter that's [TS]

  it I ride pastor and I just it's not a [TS]

  thing that I normally don't want not [TS]

  walking around carrying Dale Bozzio his [TS]

  name in my head [TS]

  I get bailing adeline Terry it's [TS]

  confusing because it Terry Dale Terry [TS]

  day to talk about the two chipmunks [TS]

  yeah i think i have her Terry and Dale [TS]

  well no repaired right Terry Bozzio was [TS]

  the drummer and zap and he's good he's [TS]

  the famous drummer that's like look at [TS]

  everything look at his set oh my [TS]

  goodness [TS]

  everybody says the military budget [TS]

  whoo-hoo and then tales this is dead [TS]

  John this is he has five base in five [TS]

  kick drums go go watch go watch right [TS]

  I'm not right now but go watch soon some [TS]

  videos of a early missing person because [TS]

  it's really one of those things where ya [TS]

  the drummer husband of the lead singer [TS]

  the drummer really does believe that he [TS]

  is the featured player [TS]

  yeah and and his family over [TS]

  compensating John he's got one two three [TS]

  he's got at least eight hi hats in this [TS]

  photo i'm looking at he's got all these [TS]

  crash cymbals up over his head he's got [TS]

  more drugs than any three normal people [TS]

  yeah he's got a lot of drums and these [TS]

  can be speed plays him all he's saying [TS]

  this forward that's Terry Bozzio but you [TS]

  know Dale Bozzio and there were there [TS]

  were quite a few sort of punky new wave [TS]

  female lead performer think you got you [TS]

  i think a lot of the tone was set by [TS]

  wendy williams and that was exactly what [TS]

  I was about to say sorry no no youyou [TS]

  it's one another example of your my mind [TS]

  meld mmm that video where Wendy Williams [TS]

  is riding on top of a semi truck and [TS]

  they crashed through a wall of [TS]

  television sets [TS]

  yeah where she is where she has [TS]

  electrical tape over her nipple I do [TS]

  remember that yes boy that really made a [TS]

  last name printed on that and and you [TS]

  know you combine combine that with some [TS]

  your rhythm mix and some missing persons [TS]

  and you really have a new there was a [TS]

  new model for this was not something [TS]

  that you know none of these performers [TS]

  were going to be they weren't former [TS]

  Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders you know what [TS]

  I'm saying I totally know what you're [TS]

  saying [TS]

  therefore they were new cut a new colour [TS]

  cloth em and then it may have made a [TS]

  definite and lasting impression the hair [TS]

  thing was important you had down you had [TS]

  like for example you had with your name [TS]

  Alana from Thompson Twins she had that [TS]

  she had the funny hair and flame at all [TS]

  that hat was so awful i could not get [TS]

  Ilana I could not follow a lot of miles [TS]

  I think [TS]

  yeah that was not that was not my gym [TS]

  cool but Bananarama an amazing hair kind [TS]

  of love me some Bananarama and there was [TS]

  obviously like one member of Bananarama [TS]

  just as there was one member of TLC that [TS]

  I really fixated on [TS]

  yeah i think is almost always because [TS]

  kind of the Dennis DeYoung problem or [TS]

  the Peter Cetera problem when you get [TS]

  this one person who kind of or maybe the [TS]

  beyonce problem canonically where [TS]

  there's one person who kind of becomes [TS]

  the front persons happen with the the [TS]

  guy Thor from the band Thor is that you [TS]

  get the person who becomes the front [TS]

  person was like hey what about me you [TS]

  know i'm tommy shaw i say this fucking [TS]

  band [TS]

  yeah you know about me i'm tommy shaw [TS]

  yeah I'm the drumsticks i'm going crazy [TS]

  on the cocaine what about me i'm jessica [TS]

  sailor [TS]

  yeah right let's go here definitely [TS]

  where's my soup here's the thing about [TS]

  Tommy try never liked his face [TS]

  yeah he had their yeah the eighties were [TS]

  a problem he is his hair and his face [TS]

  did not match his body and not benefit [TS]

  from a white jumpsuit [TS]

  ok that being hit sartorial problems I [TS]

  mean paradise theater [TS]

  I think they finally decided they were [TS]

  going to wear funny outfits Andrew died [TS]

  in the bear [TS]

  the dice against young he looks kind of [TS]

  like a like somebody works on a Midway [TS]

  he you gotta get was John and Chuck [TS]

  panozzo ojon and truck and I forget to [TS]

  pay the electric bill but I know these [TS]

  names and so you got him to get the [TS]

  drugs cooked up Jesse drummer goblins [TS]

  and governance soul right and he's [TS]

  wearing like Ali's we just like [TS]

  hammersmith lap with short pants [TS]

  schmidlap in short pants made up and I [TS]

  know I know a serial then you got you [TS]

  got out his brother playing the bass [TS]

  look on wearing a tie [TS]

  sure than the time that was the one and [TS]

  it probably a leather tie right skinny [TS]

  red leather might be leather tie usually [TS]

  already sharp sort of a billy joel billy [TS]

  joel pioneered the skinny red leather [TS]

  time i right [TS]

  yeah what about a pair of old tab colors [TS]

  welcome back to the able to job episode [TS]

  of Roderick on the line is brought to [TS]

  you by Casper to learn more right now [TS]

  visit Casper dot-com / supertrain Casper [TS]

  is an online retailer of premium [TS]

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  a 30-year life and that's why Casper has [TS]

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  risk-free experience here's the thing i [TS]

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  5000 wonderful hours of sleep no matter [TS]

  where I travel I'm always so happy to [TS]

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  Casper mattress the best mattress I've [TS]

  ever had and i hope you give these folks [TS]

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  visiting Casper calm / supertrain and [TS]

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  supertrain terms and conditions apply [TS]

  our thanks to Casper for all the great [TS]

  night's sleep and for supporting [TS]

  Roderick online [TS]

  did you just give Billy Joel the gas [TS]

  face i gave him the boom really don't [TS]

  get JY JY was tall [TS]

  Regina was tall and had really really [TS]

  unfortunate hair all that hair that hair [TS]

  looked like you're married remember the [TS]

  but remember the loaf of bread that had [TS]

  butter in the top sure you gotta split [TS]

  up butter top bread without butter top [TS]

  bread totally remember that butter top [TS]

  what was that stuff called hidden valley [TS]

  ranch no other sort of butter but love [TS]

  it was Regina talk left [TS]

  yes camel camel bread cameltoe idiot and [TS]

  his hair looked like that and then a set [TS]

  of curtains through right if you put a [TS]

  little you put a split top of bread on [TS]

  top of ya top of my car that had [TS]

  curtains in the windows and it was gonna [TS]

  do that really [TS]

  yeah yeah I know you're right and then I [TS]

  remember and I'm just don't try to [TS]

  remember here I feel like then Tommy [TS]

  Shaw had like a white jumpsuit and he [TS]

  was like robin zander sighs she's like a [TS]

  little guy yea he's only 52 or who did [TS]

  you know that this exact thing happened [TS]

  to the posies our good friends the post [TS]

  which exact thing [TS]

  well not the jumpsuit or the muffin top [TS]

  bread [TS]

  ok but the posies signed and the poses [TS]

  to the for those who are not familiar [TS]

  oh my gosh were a band with Tuco lead [TS]

  singers cocoa songwriters and and both I [TS]

  mean we kid but my goodness I love the [TS]

  posies songwriter even yeah well I [TS]

  didn't like her for me like i was still [TS]

  taking stuff off the radio into the [TS]

  nineties and I remember catching my big [TS]

  mouth and I told you this before but [TS]

  hearing my big mouth on the radio and [TS]

  like I was just blown away [TS]

  the reason we talk so much about the [TS]

  poses on this program is that without [TS]

  the posies there would be no John and [TS]

  marilyn m [TS]

  oh my gosh this is true haha oh my [TS]

  goodness oh sassette gonna catch a movie [TS]

  with the subway same thing [TS]

  oh my goodness you're right there with [TS]

  butterfly flaps its wings in China [TS]

  yeah right and then the prettiest [TS]

  butterflies all the way down that's [TS]

  right and when you are in oakland [TS]

  watching a ken stringfellow show that [TS]

  nobody else attended you know I met us [TS]

  remember that night ever mention that [TS]

  yes you did yeah in any case the when [TS]

  the posy signed to a major label design [TS]

  too [TS]

  Warner Brothers and let's call it Warner [TS]

  Brothers the for the sake of argument [TS]

  let's call it border water boat [TS]

  mm uh they decided that John our was [TS]

  well-suited to be the front man and they [TS]

  pushed him forward in all the band [TS]

  photos really at that time house how [TS]

  does one say a little more live [TS]

  mm he had kind of like sort of handsome [TS]

  handsome boy that looks so he was [TS]

  good-looking and can look a little bit [TS]

  like a bottle opener [TS]

  ken was awkward yeah and had sort of a [TS]

  praying mantis that had been dipped in [TS]

  some frosting vibe if you took a praying [TS]

  mantis and dipped in frosting [TS]

  that's how they got that title praying [TS]

  mantis on the beater he the praying [TS]

  mantis would not be into it now the [TS]

  frosting would not be becoming on the [TS]

  praying mantis and that he was just like [TS]

  wow and so John our he's going he's also [TS]

  he's kind of got theater nerd written [TS]

  all over hell he does do you think a [TS]

  little bit like John with his with his [TS]

  big like wonder stuff hair he kind of [TS]

  had that like you know indie rock vibe [TS]

  yeah John seemed like a guy who had [TS]

  never had sex before but when when he [TS]

  did have sex look out world [TS]

  oh goodness whereas you know whereas can [TS]

  yes seems like somebody who had had a [TS]

  lot of sort of awkward sex in squats [TS]

  maybe more like locker rooms i'm not [TS]

  sure i can't i can't go back in time and [TS]

  reimagine the poses because it's all two [TS]

  threaded through the world right but [TS]

  before we get is a sarcophagus he's [TS]

  letting his mom sarcophagus that's right [TS]

  that's right that's right before he [TS]

  realized before he became immune to [TS]

  sunlight and garlic [TS]

  yeah he was you know and and and if you [TS]

  look at them when they had Robert Smith [TS]

  hair who John looks like robert smith is [TS]

  coming out and looks like remember that [TS]

  weird a game where it was like a game [TS]

  that you would your parents would buy [TS]

  you if you were going on a long road [TS]

  trip where you could use a pen and [TS]

  magnetize use a use the pen to draw on a [TS]

  character of a man with the family guy [TS]

  with the metal shavings there with the [TS]

  metal sure it looked like a skinny one [TS]

  of those interesting anyway though [TS]

  because John our was a was a great [TS]

  guitar player and also here's the the [TS]

  terrible part wrote the pop songs wrote [TS]

  the hits can wrote all the difficult [TS]

  material [TS]

  oh interesting so here's John Doe golden [TS]

  slumbers that's John gone blue I yeah [TS]

  says the way you in you I don't make me [TS]

  explain myself I cannot go down the post [TS]

  catalog and tell you who wrote what [TS]

  because they both sing on every song and [TS]

  they sound so much sand it was great did [TS]

  have a live recording of them in France [TS]

  doing surrender and it seems obvious to [TS]

  me that they are going to try and outdo [TS]

  who can take it up a fifth octave [TS]

  another field another octave and they [TS]

  keep finding new impossible harmonies [TS]

  until it's utterly unlistenable yeah [TS]

  yeah well it's awesome but so is ok so [TS]

  he's the rock guy if you look at the [TS]

  pictures from that certain air that [TS]

  initial era Jon is so far in front of [TS]

  the other dudes and the thing is I'm [TS]

  sure when the photographer was taking [TS]

  the pictures he was like now can you [TS]

  step forward you know now [TS]

  Musburger you step forward but all those [TS]

  other photos ended up in the garbage and [TS]

  the on the label wanted were the ones [TS]

  with our way forward so far forward that [TS]

  the other guys are like blurry and no [TS]

  that is not good for morale right and so [TS]

  and so can was like but but but like Co [TS]

  singer co songwriter co front person [TS]

  they really share the duties on stage [TS]

  but during that era and you know as time [TS]

  went on can became more of a you know / [TS]

  living anymore real boy he became a [TS]

  little bit more of a real boy and John [TS]

  you know suffered a little some aging [TS]

  related issues at some cats but um but [TS]

  yeah I think about that all the time [TS]

  when i think about this this sort of who [TS]

  me because yeah I think it inspired a [TS]

  lot of unhealthy competition in those [TS]

  guys that all [TS]

  ready had a lot of competition [TS]

  motivating them because what he did not [TS]

  mean i would hate to be in a band where [TS]

  I wasn't the sex symbol luckily I was [TS]

  always the sex symbol in every band i [TS]

  was it [TS]

  that's true but your band photos mm-hmm [TS]

  never really quite did you guys justice [TS]

  but let's not talk about him [TS]

  I'm so embarrassed by them know that [TS]

  they weren't bad but they didn't really [TS]

  know but they just they just didn't [TS]

  really do justice to the bottom of my [TS]

  photos of you terrible my photos of you [TS]

  guys I think photo of you guys in muni [TS]

  where I think you're making a face and [TS]

  and Sean staring off in the distance I [TS]

  think that should be the band photo you [TS]

  were a great photographer Merlin and you [TS]

  use some of your photos i still turn to [TS]

  as examples of how i wish to be [TS]

  represented a pasar ahora con 47 and [TS]

  Cape smoking ask are pursued by police [TS]

  as a lot of this accident [TS]

  no I'd like that to be the photo will [TS]

  use for every all the promo alright guys [TS]

  literally anything else we we did use [TS]

  that is probing forth i dealt with bar [TS]

  suit on that and they were like hey [TS]

  we're going to use this and they used to [TS]

  give me the high quality so i gave my [TS]

  quality does finally who do you think I [TS]

  wasn't for me who went when people [TS]

  listen to this podcast yeah i think [TS]

  there are people who think that I'm a [TS]

  sex symbol of this podcast and there are [TS]

  people who think that you're the sex [TS]

  symbol [TS]

  we are the moses of podcasts you think [TS]

  there's John people in merlin people do [TS]

  you ever think do you ever get [TS]

  communications from people where it's [TS]

  evident that they are like I would like [TS]

  to sex you Merlin I used to get [TS]

  something more like that but not really [TS]

  no I had about I had a good ten day [TS]

  period when I was about 20 and I didn't [TS]

  utilize it and it's just been it's been [TS]

  a rough road ever since I swear to you [TS]

  that picture of you in that Air Force [TS]

  fatigue jacket on the head and jacket [TS]

  with that with the Henderson jacket [TS]

  which i still have and the blond [TS]

  mustache for your kind of crouching in a [TS]

  subway station but you're looking up at [TS]

  the camera [TS]

  uh-huh and you look like you look like [TS]

  the prints from the princess bride now [TS]

  ya see I used to look like Carrie always [TS]

  people don't believe that [TS]

  yeah is that [TS]

  look like you're always in a little bit [TS]

  like Michael Palin don't nobody would [TS]

  believe that now you look great as agree [TS]

  now just exactly like him and I said I [TS]

  think of that photo all the time like oh [TS]

  merlin real singer that's like your [TS]

  picture of me my picture of young Merlin [TS]

  Merlin know when he's out there playing [TS]

  bacon ray I'm going to new york sometime [TS]

  and wearing a Henderson jacket and [TS]

  Anderson jacket and I'm just like oh you [TS]

  must have really what i look like i had [TS]

  i had pretty weird i had like three [TS]

  different haircuts does a bear would not [TS]

  like my hair I like three different [TS]

  haircuts [TS]

  yeah I think of you the things sometimes [TS]

  like I've been pals with you for a while [TS]

  I never seen you not wearing Jackie [TS]

  rockstar classes in with a beard and [TS]

  then I thought when I want when you [TS]

  first started sleeping at my house in [TS]

  your underwear and see without your [TS]

  glasses you look so different without [TS]

  your glasses and I see photos of you as [TS]

  a kid without glasses and I think it's [TS]

  like the weirdest thing in the world do [TS]

  I look like myself as a kid [TS]

  not really because you know you have a [TS]

  beard Shape face [TS]

  yeah that's right yeah my god people say [TS]

  all the time about my daughter that she [TS]

  looks exactly like she was looking at [TS]

  the shelter [TS]

  she's just a little child and she's also [TS]

  a girl and I don't look like that [TS]

  anymore i looked like that when I was a [TS]

  baby but how do you see any resemblance [TS]

  oh there's a huge resemblance yeah well [TS]

  now that's very flattering to me because [TS]

  I think that she's a beautiful little [TS]

  girl she's being a little bit impatient [TS]

  in parades she wants to get to the end [TS]

  of the parade sometimes three quarters [TS]

  of the way through the parade she's [TS]

  looking to the end of the parade [TS]

  I i seen its like clowns John I think [TS]

  people miss remember what was fun during [TS]

  childhood I don't you see there there [TS]

  are people who still hire clowns to do [TS]

  things or put their kids in proximity to [TS]

  clowns and act like there's anybody has [TS]

  ever enjoyed a cloud in the same with [TS]

  parades like a parade is I don't know it [TS]

  has that ever been that fun for a kid [TS]

  even just to even to be in a parade [TS]

  yeah let alone to sit on the floor [TS]

  tiling some clouds rolled up on us [TS]

  is that right and they came right up and [TS]

  they were wanted to put a button on her [TS]

  here and they wanted to talk to her and [TS]

  she was like I'm not having any cloud hm [TS]

  and then one clown was like on a clown [TS]

  and she said yeah alright your clown [TS]

  like okay I'm not you know like I'm not [TS]

  scared I'm not gonna like recoil from [TS]

  you [TS]

  I'm not gonna cry I wouldn't give you [TS]

  that I wouldn't give you cry I'm just [TS]

  gonna she just eyeballing she just [TS]

  stared him down until the clouds like [TS]

  slowly backed away and I said maybe you [TS]

  know like clowns they're just trying to [TS]

  have fun they're just the consciousness [TS]

  because just fun times you know they're [TS]

  just like joking just like I don't like [TS]

  class and say oh well you know yourself [TS]

  a lot better than I did when I was your [TS]

  age because at your age I felt obligated [TS]

  to like clowns [TS]

  I was there was a different time you [TS]

  call people sir and you act like enjoyed [TS]

  clowns that she did because adults were [TS]

  like hey this is the one day a year when [TS]

  we're going to look at you and say that [TS]

  it's time for you to have fun and look [TS]

  what we did we got a bunch of clowns and [TS]

  so you better fucking enjoy it oh yes [TS]

  for you buddy was like don't be a dare [TS]

  ok I don't want to touch and i remember [TS]

  very distinctly going to a birthday [TS]

  party where there were clouds and then [TS]

  left a lasting negative impression [TS]

  well I mean I don't beat to death but I [TS]

  feel like if you're going to be a [TS]

  responsible Clown College faculty member [TS]

  I think the first thing you teach first [TS]

  day you're sitting there in the [TS]

  multi-purpose room talking about the [TS]

  future compounds and the first thing you [TS]

  have to make clear look as you may know [TS]

  or maybe you'd fucking don't know not [TS]

  everybody loves clowns [TS]

  so it's like the Hippocratic clown [TS]

  earth-like number not do no harm fucking [TS]

  like gauge what the kid wants like no [TS]

  because like the thing is what if you [TS]

  are in any other adult imagine [TS]

  everything a clown does being done by a [TS]

  middle-aged man without makeup and it's [TS]

  horrifying looks what makes dressing [TS]

  like a fucking clown make that better [TS]

  I'll get up in a kid's face and give him [TS]

  a balloon what are you know I don't [TS]

  wanna balloon well I don't see what you [TS]

  haven't coming out of a white van [TS]

  well I like that my feeling about a [TS]

  clown is this [TS]

  oh all clowns are only there to [TS]

  contextualize the sad clowns [TS]

  oh I don't want any happiness except to [TS]

  frame the sad clowns the few sad clowns [TS]

  are the only clouds that matter and all [TS]

  the happy clouds are just are you know [TS]

  just the noise and and the it's the it's [TS]

  like the soft focus or the pits like the [TS]

  penthouse magazine lens uh where you've [TS]

  got the Vaseline smeared around the lens [TS]

  so all you can see is the sad clown in [TS]

  the middle because all because all [TS]

  interact with the SATCOM all day I like [TS]

  a sad clown you know you getting the [TS]

  classic line and get the three kinds of [TS]

  clowns [TS]

  there's a lot of artfulness in that I i [TS]

  like that three cuts the three clowns [TS]

  you meet in heaven [TS]

  yeah duh no III climbing as a a is like [TS]

  a french art like okay fine that's cool [TS]

  there's a lot of French I think you [TS]

  shouldn't shouldn't force onto preschool [TS]

  aged kids pointillism is not going to be [TS]

  appreciated they did well enough about [TS]

  lighting contrast that's true i think [TS]

  that what kids want to see is [TS]

  knife-throwing yeah there's not a kid in [TS]

  the world that doesn't understand knife [TS]

  through i think also whip cracking [TS]

  that's fun i do like that physical but I [TS]

  mean like physical weird physical skills [TS]

  that could be extremely dangerous are [TS]

  very hypnotic to a lot of kids [TS]

  what was the last time you saw somebody [TS]

  get a pie in the face [TS]

  Oh like outside like a TV show and like [TS]

  an actual pie in the face it right in [TS]

  front of you and I'm not talking about [TS]

  some Harlem Globetrotters a bucket of [TS]

  confetti now yeah I'm talking about like [TS]

  Taylor you know the armored brothers [TS]

  used to do that game they don't throw [TS]

  water on you like oh my god here comes a [TS]

  big bucket of water all it's a sparkles [TS]

  i I can't I as I sit here right now [TS]

  don't be 15 few months I can't say the [TS]

  last time I saw somebody with a pie that [TS]

  wasn't a protest or like on a comedy [TS]

  show a pie in the face now think about [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  think about if you and I resurrected the [TS]

  pie in the face now I know this isn't [TS]

  your scene you know I don't want to hear [TS]

  you out [TS]

  well I'm just saying everybody's you [TS]

  know in the in particularly in this [TS]

  contemporary world where it's like how [TS]

  do how do you distinguish yourself in a [TS]

  world of millions and millions of people [TS]

  taking vines of themselves everything [TS]

  right i mean i did also i think that'd [TS]

  be technically a macro aggression i said [TS]

  it's absolutely a full-on aggression [TS]

  yeah except it's an aggression featuring [TS]

  banana cream last true now what if in [TS]

  the the pie throwing big time but [TS]

  follows your your clown precept which is [TS]

  do not throw a pie at somebody that you [TS]

  don't feel is ready to have a Python [TS]

  don't you know don't you know like that [TS]

  computer programs and cats and let them [TS]

  come to you [TS]

  a woman said to me the other day why is [TS]

  it that men feel like it's acceptable to [TS]

  play air drums at a woman and stare at [TS]

  them while they're doing i will make it [TS]

  like a dude face [TS]

  well just know just like you to do you [TS]

  know or like playing air base when [TS]

  there's a song playing in the in the on [TS]

  the radio [TS]

  uh-huh and I was like I don't know man [TS]

  want to show off and that's that it's I [TS]

  mean it's embarrassing [TS]

  yeah they know all the parts it's [TS]

  humiliating when you really shine a [TS]

  light on it but you know it seems she [TS]

  was like no I think it's really sexually [TS]

  aggressive sexually aggressive to air [TS]

  dry matter lady to donate our drummer [TS]

  the lady and I was like I was like this [TS]

  is I'm only getting out of this [TS]

  conversation [TS]

  literally every day I'm learning things [TS]

  that there's a time when I would have [TS]

  thought that was totally appropriate and [TS]

  now I see that that's probably not a [TS]

  nice thing to do i guess not i don't [TS]

  care don't care musician at somebody [TS]

  directly and so banana cream pie you've [TS]

  got one let's say yeah you look around [TS]

  the room for two criteria somebody has [TS]

  to deserve somehow a banana cream pie in [TS]

  the face but also they have to be ready [TS]

  to take up and can it can they take and [TS]

  make sure you pie up don't pipe down [TS]

  3w want to buy up because I down after [TS]

  by you're going to lose a pie [TS]

  I mean this is Arthur castus whole [TS]

  theory of creativity you know what when [TS]

  the lady slips on the ice [TS]

  it's a it's not funny you know when when [TS]

  when you know like a like a male [TS]

  presidential candidate falls on the [TS]

  Estill arias you gotta find you somebody [TS]

  down a peg [TS]

  you got to take the find the person that [TS]

  needs the pie and then also know that [TS]

  that person is not going to be you can't [TS]

  destroy somebody with a pot but let's [TS]

  say we started banana cream pie in [TS]

  people [TS]

  ok that's going to make the newspapers [TS]

  that would make the newspaper said [TS]

  somebody should be pine eating and they [TS]

  shouldn't we shouldn't mind too much [TS]

  like if I took a pie in the face [TS]

  yeah let's say I'm just out there in the [TS]

  course of my daily life and somebody's [TS]

  like hey Roderick and turnaround pie in [TS]

  the face and cream everywhere I feel [TS]

  like I would take that with pretty good [TS]

  grace like I take myself pretty [TS]

  seriously I'm out in the world but pie [TS]

  in the face [TS]

  ya gotta give it up look if you're [TS]

  dressed up kind of fancy cousin you [TS]

  gotta explain wake up on you I I feel [TS]

  like it would depend if I was dressed up [TS]

  fancy but had done something right in [TS]

  the immediate time and place that [TS]

  deserved a pie and then got up I uh-huh [TS]

  I'd have to say like you know you know [TS]

  that was the universe telling you [TS]

  something [TS]

  iron the PI right here in the pie yet [TS]

  you pine eating if I'm just walking down [TS]

  the street being nice to people today [TS]

  and I get a pie for something I did four [TS]

  years ago [TS]

  yeah that's not a problem i mean i was a [TS]

  PI from strangers i change it it would [TS]

  your talk about something that doesn't [TS]

  even know me that's just out like [TS]

  putting pies and people think that's [TS]

  like the payments on fire from a [TS]

  stranger like when that happens on the [TS]

  good doing when you when you get a now [TS]

  it's gonna hurt is like criticism like [TS]

  it's coming from a friend [TS]

  are you gonna feel like you're more pie [TS]

  needing this bill doesn't matter you [TS]

  really seem to me like you're saying [TS]

  you're saying just existentially you got [TS]

  a pie coming today be a good sport [TS]

  because inherent in the pie is a sense [TS]

  of the other person having a at the [TS]

  feeling like you are capable of taking [TS]

  this pie with grace right there's a [TS]

  compliment inherent in getting hit with [TS]

  it's like getting roasted that's exactly [TS]

  right I get it now [TS]

  so so they are paying you the they're [TS]

  paying you the hat tip of like you [TS]

  deserve a pie but you can take a pie [TS]

  mhm and that's you know sort of the kind [TS]

  of guy i aspire to be somebody who can [TS]

  take a pie and I i know a lot of people [TS]

  are like on the fence about whether or [TS]

  not that's true then Robert a cup i was [TS]

  gonna be like you might be Barbra [TS]

  Streisand yourself little here you need [TS]

  well you know the stress and affect you [TS]

  you don't want to make it yummy are you [TS]

  opening the door are you saying come at [TS]

  me [TS]

  no no fucking throw up I me you sons of [TS]

  bitches who got to check yourself before [TS]

  you wreck yourself [TS]

  that's right if somebody listening to [TS]

  this program is right now filling up a [TS]

  banana cream pie banana cream put that [TS]

  shit in the refrigerator and leave it [TS]

  there [TS]

  don't put a pie at me but i do want to [TS]

  you know like one day let's say one time [TS]

  in your life if you get it you can apply [TS]

  yeah I put that right up there and they [TS]

  say that belongs on your Wikipedia most [TS]

  men i think most men have these [TS]

  fantasies about how they would do in [TS]

  street fight like if they had like [TS]

  defense someone's honor or like save a [TS]

  baby and they get these fantasies about [TS]

  that i think this is a much more evolved [TS]

  middle-aged version of that which is you [TS]

  know let's begin with me [TS]

  well if I'm in a pine Eden state of mind [TS]

  and I get up I want to be a gentleman [TS]

  about it [TS]

  that's right i feel i feel like anything [TS]

  that's pressed charges every single man [TS]

  in the world who has thought about what [TS]

  they would do in the event of a street [TS]

  fight is wrong about what they would [TS]

  actually do so anyways we're not ever [TS]

  gonna perform the way that you have [TS]

  multiple e fantasized everybody's got a [TS]

  plan until they get punched in the face [TS]

  that's right and then here's the quote [TS]

  you have that so was like over [TS]

  yeah haha ah didn't warn Buzz Aldrin he [TS]

  punched somebody didn't he did he punch [TS]

  handling that was like the moon landing [TS]

  was faked it maybe you're a liar punch [TS]

  he was like get the fuck out of my face [TS]

  and the guy was like come kept coming [TS]

  back at it just like clock [TS]

  wow so good so good deserve to die [TS]

  really deserved he deserves morning he's [TS]

  finding a I yeah I've been thinking [TS]

  about this this self seriousness quite a [TS]

  bit though because somebody very close [TS]

  to me recently said that you know that [TS]

  they're that the amount of bravado that [TS]

  I display in my public persona it it you [TS]

  know it will think that the thing that [TS]

  that you talk about this like two months [TS]

  ago you're still thinking about this [TS]

  will know this is this is this is now a [TS]

  reinforcing comment ok [TS]

  that said you know you don't reveal your [TS]

  insecurities in your public persona it's [TS]

  it is you you are exactly yourself [TS]

  the only thing missing that you don't [TS]

  reveal is the you know is your [TS]

  vulnerability who and I was like I [TS]

  reveal my vulnerability all the time and [TS]

  they were like huh [TS]

  and I hadn't thought about it well and [TS]

  then I was like well why the fuck would [TS]

  you reveal your innate your [TS]

  vulnerability to people not to talk out [TS]

  of school but the handful of times you [TS]

  and I have come to words that's been [TS]

  often the topic not not just you [TS]

  obviously have a rolling [TS]

  but where you would you would say hey [TS]

  you know I I'm vulnerable here I I got [TS]

  feelings about this stuff too and i [TS]

  would think what are you talking about [TS]

  your John Roderick and feelings about [TS]

  anything and you would be not very hurt [TS]

  and I was like wow I need to really keep [TS]

  that in mind when I saw that I i said uh [TS]

  everybody's insecure right i mean can [TS]

  you name a person that is an insecure [TS]

  there are pieces missing my securities [TS]

  fan and I I'm mysterious fantastic [TS]

  everybody says so [TS]

  yours is yeah I believe it believe me [TS]

  oh yeah everybody yeah everybody thinks [TS]

  I've my hands are normal size [TS]

  have you done the print out yet no no [TS]

  god it's so great on a refrigerator [TS]

  Donald Trump was cast for Madame Tussaud [TS]

  Tom thing a few years in a tease you [TS]

  know which I think has since been taken [TS]

  down but somebody at a Madame Tussaud [TS]

  somewhere found an imprint of his hand [TS]

  and then you can print it out at your [TS]

  home and see how you compare uh-huh i'm [TS]

  not in 20 but this reminds me [TS]

  mine's bigger I'm sure it is well [TS]

  everything about you is bigger [TS]

  everybody says so if i had the most [TS]

  profound experience last night [TS]

  yeah so I helped my hands I want you to [TS]

  do this right now look at him right now [TS]

  I hope that are outside outside the [TS]

  backs of your hands [TS]

  let's give me I'm gay right no remember [TS]

  that I was like crazy look at your news [TS]

  yeah they they pumped up 15 gallons of [TS]

  sperm out of myself it was full of [TS]

  spider eggs by a gerbil up your two [TS]

  hands got him looking at the backs of [TS]

  the hands look at them now is one bigger [TS]

  than the other [TS]

  I did I can take with my feet it's [TS]

  definitely my feet used to see much more [TS]

  sense magical about your feet right now [TS]

  I'm talking about looking well I mean my [TS]

  fingers are different links kind of yeah [TS]

  are one set of fingers fatter than the [TS]

  other side of how not that I can tell [TS]

  that you have that so my gonna get [TS]

  broken fingers I mean it doesn't count [TS]

  this is why I held up my hand because i [TS]

  was like add this finger is broken and [TS]

  it's a little bit fatter than the other [TS]

  finger [TS]

  held it up and I looked at my index [TS]

  fingers and the the one that was broken [TS]

  was like visibly fatter than the other [TS]

  thing and I'm looking at him and I've [TS]

  done this several times compared the two [TS]

  index fingers and then i looked at the [TS]

  middle finger Catholic wait a minute on [TS]

  that on the broken finger hand my middle [TS]

  finger is fatter that and then I was [TS]

  like because all of the fingers on my [TS]

  right hand are fatter than the fingers [TS]

  on my left hand but then increasing the [TS]

  horror [TS]

  yeah the fingers on my left hand are [TS]

  longer than the fingers on my right hand [TS]

  oh no and then as looking at them longer [TS]

  i realized that it is like i have and i [TS]

  was like i had an arm replacement [TS]

  surgery because my left hand does not [TS]

  resemble my right hand in any way [TS]

  oh that's a sturdy like a monkey hand [TS]

  they are hard completely different i'll [TS]

  be home be a I mean they're completely [TS]

  different the the right hand which is my [TS]

  dominant hand the fingers are much [TS]

  larger but the hand itself is slightly [TS]

  smaller and is like a it's like a [TS]

  catcher's mitt and the left hand is like [TS]

  a fucking spider I can spread the [TS]

  fingers on the left-hand wider than i [TS]

  can on the right-hand like they're [TS]

  utterly different tools my god and this [TS]

  has you know well as a guitar player i [TS]

  have really struggled because my left [TS]

  hand has almost no dexterity and I can't [TS]

  train it to you know I've been working [TS]

  on getting my left hand fingers to even [TS]

  move reliably according to what my brain [TS]

  asks them to do and they barely can you [TS]

  know like if I'm drumming them on a [TS]

  table like [TS]

  that's as good as I can do okay on the [TS]

  right-hand oh you like terry bozzio i'm [TS]

  on the right hand i'm fucking 24 terry [TS]

  bozzio is I have so many high hats on my [TS]

  right hand I can't even keep it straight [TS]

  you don't have to think about it it's [TS]

  like it's like shooting Stewart [TS]

  Copeland's out of a confetti cannon but [TS]

  my left hand which i have to say now [TS]

  looking at them side-by-side the left [TS]

  hand is a much more elegant hand the [TS]

  right hand is just like a meat clock [TS]

  who do you think this big party because [TS]

  it'll the length of the unusual lengths [TS]

  of the fingers on the hand perhaps I [TS]

  although i don't know if there are maybe [TS]

  synaptically it's taking a little bit [TS]

  longer [TS]

  you're losing signal m-maybe I mean the [TS]

  fingers are much more elegant their [TS]

  inner and more tapered but looking at [TS]

  the two hands i feel like the left hand [TS]

  is aesthetically much better than the [TS]

  right-hand a right-hand is all like bar [TS]

  like I'm working I got work to do i do [TS]

  the writing is just doesn't add up [TS]

  I do all the stuff I dubai do all the [TS]

  nose picking i do everything except the [TS]

  but wiping yeah and the left hand is [TS]

  like one lab but you have to do is ever [TS]

  good bye [TS]

  I would produce sometimes I play guitar [TS]

  solos that are kind of Pam handed and [TS]

  the right hands like I'm the ham and I [TS]

  yeah I get to I'm the featured player in [TS]

  one instance only which is guitaring [TS]

  here just over there with the pic I'm [TS]

  over here been in the note [TS]

  yeah I'm the one that's going to bear [TS]

  the pound pound it and the right hands [TS]

  like God if I could be the note bender [TS]

  hand would be we'd be out here what [TS]

  would be at John Mayer level happy I'd [TS]

  be an IV in bozeman montana making [TS]

  people uncomfortable in a bar [TS]

  oh you got you got a-you got John our on [TS]

  the left-hand get a string can't refill [TS]

  on the right-hand another way around the [TS]

  other way around [TS]

  yeah but so okay show's snouts only [TS]

  focus okay so so I can't account for [TS]

  this we mostly I cannot account for the [TS]

  fact that I've lived my entire life [TS]

  without notice that the two hands don't [TS]

  even belong on the same and what am I [TS]

  meant to do with that what am I meant to [TS]

  do with that information and where does [TS]

  it end [TS]

  exactly it's like Johnson says its [TS]

  evolutionary biology and you guys could [TS]

  be an adaptation and who knows what [TS]

  you're adapting to make me maybe you [TS]

  felt [TS]

  yeah i mean i think the universe is [TS]

  trying to tell you something maybe the [TS]

  left hand is so much more elegant [TS]

  because it's going to be asked to [TS]

  interface with some kind of UFO [TS]

  technology when I'm promoted to [TS]

  anchorman [TS]

  oh right you put your left hand in the [TS]

  machine shake it out about it turns out [TS]

  that's the one that actually controls [TS]

  the alien technology [TS]

  I don't know thats ever like sent you [TS]

  like Cinderella so I mean what-what else [TS]

  is different My hemispherical is half of [TS]

  my penis good and half of it is due to [TS]

  delegate to live i felt that well I am [TS]

  but it doesn't know the sides are [TS]

  warring the warring sides or his [TS]

  worthiness science you know my left knee [TS]

  is the one that that I blew out and I [TS]

  have had surgery on the right knee is [TS]

  now supporting my entire body and almost [TS]

  every activity this is this gets back to [TS]

  an old issue of mine which is just that [TS]

  the lack of symmetry where the [TS]

  millenniums understand they understand [TS]

  they're not always going to be [TS]

  symmetrical [TS]

  oh my god my feet are different to my [TS]

  feels so different [TS]

  the right big toe is much bigger and [TS]

  shorter than the left big toe [TS]

  what is this symbolize see that seems to [TS]

  be hemispherical know some a good very [TS]

  good friend of mine wrote me a text this [TS]

  morning she lives in the the Carolinas [TS]

  in the matter mountain [TS]

  in the matter mountain [TS]

  town in the Carolinas and she said I had [TS]

  a dream last night where you appeared to [TS]

  me and you were holding you had in your [TS]

  front pocket a frog baby and the frog [TS]

  baby when the frog baby was sort of half [TS]

  human half frog and when you when the [TS]

  baby was in human form [TS]

  it was kind of a maladaptive baby but [TS]

  then when it went into frog form it was [TS]

  a very very elegant frog baby oh that's [TS]

  profound and I was like what and so I [TS]

  wrote her back and was like how [TS]

  prophetic are your prophetic dreams do [TS]

  they tend to be fairly prophetic or are [TS]

  they do they skew more to the metaphoric [TS]

  because obviously right frog baby in [TS]

  your front pocket in the metaphor for [TS]

  something [TS]

  well and especially especially when it [TS]

  takes on a different form that including [TS]

  a qualitatively right and she said I had [TS]

  she said I had in my front pocket a [TS]

  habitat and it was a frog baby habitat [TS]

  and when the baby was in the frog [TS]

  habitat in my pocket right it was she [TS]

  was happy and it was a female frog baby [TS]

  ok she was happy and the frog baby [TS]

  habitat in my pocket but when she was [TS]

  out of the habitat she was just like the [TS]

  awkward would make eye contact or legs [TS]

  didn't work very well [TS]

  yeah that'sthat's about life yeah it's [TS]

  almost like you're a little bit like a [TS]

  like a like a like a mommy kangaroo with [TS]

  a Joey like you gotyou got a whole biome [TS]

  in your pocket and that's where the [TS]

  front babies happy the girlfriend babies [TS]

  happy when she comes out he's gonna deal [TS]

  she's like a pubescent baby has to come [TS]

  out like deal with the world and once [TS]

  you're back in Mom's pouch [TS]

  Oh cheap but she knew so but it wasn't [TS]

  like she was seen she just one of those [TS]

  dreams really like and I knew that you [TS]

  had a habitat in your pocket for the [TS]

  frog baby [TS]

  I have to guess right and she just that [TS]

  it's not like she drove into the habitat [TS]

  and was exploring and that's for the [TS]

  Frog it's not for her [TS]

  that's right it's the frogs have at Li I [TS]

  like this a lot and she shows she texted [TS]

  to share this with you yeah right all [TS]

  the way from the Carolinas where it's [TS]

  like I don't know how she must have had [TS]

  somebody run the message downhill with [TS]

  an envelope and then Telegraph it [TS]

  yeah but now i'm looking at my hands and [TS]

  I'm thinking frog baby is that me was [TS]

  either frog baby and she didn't specify [TS]

  which pocket it was I mean I have to [TS]

  assume front pocket so the left leg but [TS]

  probably here here is your Stringfellow [TS]

  hand is the one to pull the girlfriend [TS]

  baby out [TS]

  oh sure the root of the string that well [TS]

  know what am I your elegant your elegant [TS]

  left hand is what you use to remove the [TS]

  fuck frog baby from the habitat [TS]

  no I think you reach across have [TS]

  something in your left pocket you reach [TS]

  across with your right hand like a [TS]

  cowboy include yeah it would be my John [TS]

  our hand reaching for frog baby [TS]

  oh interesting and yet your foot is [TS]

  bigger on one side then your hand on the [TS]

  other [TS]

  no they're the same a regular size of [TS]

  consistency the the toe size is [TS]

  concomitant is a lengthy tail right [TS]

  Sammy minutes like a wide like a broad [TS]

  toe [TS]

  I'm saying I'm saying my right hand and [TS]

  my left or my right hand and my right [TS]

  foot ok suffer from the same a condition [TS]

  which is they are who they are bulkier [TS]

  yeah and a and like more working class [TS]

  yeah and the left hand and the left foot [TS]

  are more let's say elegant and refined [TS]

  more white russian ok they were that way [TS]

  after the Tsar was deposed they escaped [TS]

  to Paris right but now are somewhat [TS]

  useless because of that light they have [TS]

  been blood right and they keep like they [TS]

  keep hanging around like the [TS]

  aristocratic class right to get [TS]

  everything took out the connections to [TS]

  some extent that's right and they're [TS]

  invited there because they're an [TS]

  Archduke of some kind right but they [TS]

  don't have any money [TS]

  and so that's that that yes yes I [TS]

  understand you get the ham-fisted right [TS]

  side get the elegant left side the [TS]

  ham-fisted right side that basically [TS]

  owns some textile factories and is rich [TS]

  richer you know rich not aristocratic [TS]

  rich [TS]

  uh-huh well but maybe even richer your [TS]

  you know it is your body's having a [TS]

  civil war you got you got the [TS]

  scots-irish over on the right side that [TS]

  have the farms and the left side you got [TS]

  the feet New Englanders up here that's [TS]

  right from his brother against brother [TS]

  it its it's essentially like a from [TS]

  those who have the most to those who [TS]

  have the least right [TS]

  yes the means of production right are [TS]

  armed like being exploited by the left [TS]

  hand and they're keeping the workers [TS]

  down [TS]

  it's a three-year self upon the gears I [TS]

  have no idea what good my left hand is I [TS]

  know what good my left foot is because [TS]

  it is an alternate to the right foot [TS]

  which one's the bad knee left [TS]

  that's a shame so you know so it just I [TS]

  just sort of hobble along like a like a [TS]

  sleazy stack yeah but my left hand would [TS]

  what is i mean if i fall to the left I [TS]

  guess I use my left hand brace might be [TS]

  ashamed that you want to keep that one [TS]

  nice that's very nice that's all I was [TS]

  in a pistol battle and I two pistols ok [TS]

  if you're in a pistol battle and you [TS]

  have two pistols do you keep the left [TS]

  pistol in the left hand and shoot wildly [TS]

  and indiscriminately with it or do you [TS]

  reserve the left pistol until the right [TS]

  pistol is out of ammunition and then [TS]

  switch it over to the right-hand which [TS]

  will let me respond with the nursery [TS]

  nursery rhyme that might be relevant [TS]

  here froggy went a-courtin and he did [TS]

  ride haha front according he did ride a [TS]

  sword and a pistol by his side [TS]

  mm-hmm so I'm just saying maybe maybe [TS]

  one side for sort I think left side for [TS]

  sword right side for pistol and then you [TS]

  gotta broaden what you think is here you [TS]

  are [TS]

  yeah you're going according to your frog [TS]

  come to the right [TS]

  ya got a pistol yet right yeah we're all [TS]

  gonna frog coming through the Rye [TS]

  yep and so here you are you got your [TS]

  pistol you pull the pistol out with your [TS]

  right hand power power power until [TS]

  you're out of bullets throw the pistol [TS]

  down then grab the sword with the right [TS]

  hand because the holy cross over the [TS]

  sword in the left hand is you less than [TS]

  useless now if you have a sword and you [TS]

  pull it out of the scabbard hmm or the [TS]

  score bard yeah I think you do keep the [TS]

  score bard in your left hand because [TS]

  your sword you're sorting with your [TS]

  right hand telling somebody got a [TS]

  defensive score bard right if somebody [TS]

  swings at you you can their left hand [TS]

  can at least put up the sky bar to block [TS]

  them block the you'd be like any go [TS]

  Montoyo and learn how to do both get get [TS]

  your man who can do both left and right [TS]

  that's right because you start out maybe [TS]

  like ding I'm a left-handed and zoom but [TS]

  I have a secret that's right and then it [TS]

  is not my dominant hand and now you're [TS]

  in big trouble because I've been kicking [TS]

  your ass with my left unless you are [TS]

  Prince which I'm callin ya the other guy [TS]

  who also was bored so so maybe you know [TS]

  this is something for you to be aware of [TS]

  i mean obviously you need to be thinking [TS]

  about pies but I mean on the other hand [TS]

  you and of course you know the lady frog [TS]

  but i mean this is this is this is a way [TS]

  for you to let starting a little bit [TS]

  differently know what about your eyes [TS]

  your eyes differ [TS]

  oh yeah i mean but my eyes are falling [TS]

  apart Marilyn yeah I always was worried [TS]

  about you should definitely give [TS]

  different are you differently afflicted [TS]

  I don't want a list but do you see [TS]

  poorly differently with the two eyes [TS]

  yeah if you're lying in bed in the [TS]

  middle of the night reading a book or [TS]

  any more looking at your phone do you [TS]

  squint you close one eye [TS]

  I take off I i have no no I'm okay [TS]

  mostly up close I have a lot of trouble [TS]

  at a distance but i do have different [TS]

  prescriptions in the two eyes when i [TS]

  read and this has been through my whole [TS]

  life I close my left out here and then [TS]

  maybe lines then I'll be I'll be aware [TS]

  of it and i'll go well well [TS]

  oh shit and I'll open both eyes and I'll [TS]

  kind of move the book more into the [TS]

  center of my face you got like a [TS]

  learning Popeye yeah ya are ya gives me [TS]

  my spinach is [TS]

  but then gradually i will close the left [TS]

  eye and I'll move the book over to the [TS]

  right and that's where that's how I read [TS]

  so my gosh [TS]

  and I feel like all the information out [TS]

  of the book is going into the left [TS]

  hemisphere of my brain only and the [TS]

  right hemisphere is being reserved [TS]

  Oh COK this changes everything and then [TS]

  the hemispheres also they control the [TS]

  opposite side [TS]

  yes right so your your your your feet [TS]

  left hand is controlled by the right [TS]

  side of your brain that's the creative [TS]

  mm and then on your other hemisphere you [TS]

  got your you get your hand fisting [TS]

  gunhand yeah so I got meat hand over [TS]

  here okay and i'm reading with my right [TS]

  eye I which I guess is the dominant eye [TS]

  and uh and all that information is going [TS]

  to the left side of the brain and being [TS]

  analyzed which like the useless for the [TS]

  most part that's your rationale less [TS]

  creative side math science and then the [TS]

  right-hand side of my brain is just [TS]

  sitting around some Archduke's palace [TS]

  its starved [TS]

  yeah just like a can I have another your [TS]

  bowl of caviar what am I Anastasia right [TS]

  that's the only kind of food I know how [TS]

  to eat my Anastasia is buried in a hole [TS]

  somewhere i'm sorry to know you think [TS]

  that's really true [TS]

  yeah just talking maybe sneaking out [TS]

  sure but that was just another one of [TS]

  these white russian tricks all these [TS]

  minor nobility ladies like I'm Anastasia [TS]

  you should give me more caviar i will [TS]

  live with you for a while right and it's [TS]

  like now you're just some you know [TS]

  you're some minor nobility and and they [TS]

  they'd cut your caviar off after a [TS]

  certain point but if you're like I'm [TS]

  institution [TS]

  I don't believe or not you're welcome [TS]

  yeah they did that they did that all the [TS]

  time but that but no Anastasia with the [TS]

  with the rest of them was killed by them [TS]

  killed by the Reds night before last i [TS]

  had a dream it was kind of one of those [TS]

  stress dreams like you know we didn't [TS]

  study for the test naked in class where [TS]

  I was suddenly called upon to DJ a [TS]

  wedding reception and there's a very [TS]

  computers confusing computer and it is [TS]

  very stressful is a confusing computer [TS]

  and the the mixer was really working and [TS]

  had to Cody J the wedding reception with [TS]

  a two-foot tall Frank Sinatra now wait a [TS]

  minute you can view done this before [TS]

  because everything you're saying is [TS]

  creating a lot of anxiety and me [TS]

  so mr. goes work there's a two-foot tall [TS]

  scale Frank Sinatra was kind of mad that [TS]

  we have to do this together and he's [TS]

  very used to work with a guy named [TS]

  Carlos and Carlos understood how this [TS]

  whole system work I was not doing well i [TS]

  was i I couldn't get the crossfader to [TS]

  work and so-and-so Frank Sinatra said [TS]

  Carlos nevermind the fader whoa [TS]

  Carlos never minded the faders i wrote [TS]

  that down two-foot-tall Frank Sinatra [TS]

  what a horrible size for Frank Sinatra [TS]

  think about it [TS]

  well I imagine a two-foot tall a Frank [TS]

  Sinatra yelling at at Mario Puzo in a [TS]

  restaurant [TS]

  oh my gosh do a scan on a chair John it [TS]

  would be changes the whole vibe of that [TS]

  scene right like he's yelling at Mario [TS]

  Puzo because he thinks that he is he [TS]

  thinks he's the character in The [TS]

  Godfather [TS]

  oh he's Johnny Fontane he thinks he's [TS]

  Johnny Fontane oh and so he meets mario [TS]

  puzo in a restaurant somewhere i have to [TS]

  assume in in the Staten Island or [TS]

  knowledge is probably privacy its trend [TS]

  right yeah they're in a restaurant the [TS]

  Mario Puzo walks into a spaghetti [TS]

  restaurant in trenton new jersey Frank [TS]

  Sinatra comes over and starts screaming [TS]

  at him and this was the era when Frank [TS]

  Sinatra could scream at a guy in a [TS]

  restaurant and the restaurant owner be [TS]

  like it's a fucking honor [TS]

  it's an honor day-to-day millions last [TS]

  water-saving hardest pipes screaming at [TS]

  a guy screaming Mario Puzo because the [TS]

  you know the mob made made them take the [TS]

  words cosa nostra and mafia out of that [TS]

  movie that's right and so he screaming [TS]

  at him because he's like I don't you [TS]

  know Johnny Fontane fuck you i never did [TS]

  any of that stuff and Puzo is probably [TS]

  both saying like you kind of proving the [TS]

  point right here with your weird mafia [TS]

  tantrum who but also who says over and [TS]

  over that's not you're not Johnny [TS]

  Fontane who knew I will it's not you [TS]

  you suree communication reads like that [TS]

  done it a little bit yeah but but it [TS]

  wasn't you I was I was saying that it [TS]

  was a you know it was who Guy Fieri here [TS]

  sure some other rajan Jackie diamond [TS]

  door Jackie Diamondback the knife yeah [TS]

  it i think it's a romana clay as they [TS]

  say I'm pretty sure that's that supposed [TS]

  to be frank sinatra and i think is [TS]

  specifically from here to eternity was [TS]

  the movie [TS]

  that where they have intercourse in the [TS]

  tides know women i thought it was well [TS]

  that wasn't Frank Sinatra know that was [TS]

  a Montgomery Clift know i think it was a [TS]

  it was a double and castor link and as [TS]

  debit card are here just outside was [TS]

  beautiful she was young she was innocent [TS]

  she was the greatest piece of ass I read [TS]

  and I had them all over the world [TS]

  see I thought it was the man with the [TS]

  golden hand oh man with the Golden Arm [TS]

  that's why we're now I think that's when [TS]

  I Frank Sinatra was chasing the dragon [TS]

  he was chasing the dragon and I thought [TS]

  that was the movie that made you know [TS]

  that was his like his serious week and [TS]

  they needed this concept albums he did [TS]

  like guy in his 16th he retired for a [TS]

  while and then he came back and did you [TS]

  know somewhere and all that kind of [TS]

  stuff yeah because he wasn't a [TS]

  teenybopper anymore now is a serious [TS]

  artist that's right that's right and he [TS]

  got a better pc support in the hat as [TS]

  much but I'm starting to I'm starting to [TS]

  think if he was two feet tall through [TS]

  all that [TS]

  yeah right think about think about the [TS]

  think about the meat hand on that guy [TS]

  that's a good point i'm from now on when [TS]

  I think about that scene of him yelling [TS]

  at Mario Puzo yeah i'm going to imagine [TS]

  being two foot tall and the entire thing [TS]

  is gonna it's that it completely [TS]

  symbolically another we're talking about [TS]

  let's be clear we're talking about like [TS]

  maybe like definitely smaller than Kenny [TS]

  Baker probably smaller than the mini-me [TS]

  guy i think it means foreign Troyer [TS]

  we're talking about a very small Frank [TS]

  Sinatra Anahata suit and you said he was [TS]

  to scale [TS]

  yeah but see that I'm saying is [TS]

  proportional I'm saying I wasn't he was [TS]

  proportional he was like he was like if [TS]

  somebody was like you know you get like [TS]

  three quarter sized cello or something [TS]

  in this case it was basically like a [TS]

  one-third scale model of Frank Sinatra [TS]

  doing like going you're not a little [TS]

  person [TS]

  oh no that that's what was disturbing he [TS]

  was a magical creature some somewhat [TS]

  like a hobbit or receives a wedding DJ [TS]

  yeah and-and-and eep miss Carlos I'm not [TS]

  sure why Carlos could make it was Carlos [TS]

  represent a Carlos knew how the fader [TS]

  works house here working like a radio [TS]

  shack here like you ever get a crop [TS]

  really crappy mixer and get that noise [TS]

  in the pots and everything [TS]

  course I don't you know how to work [TS]

  computer so i just want to engage a gig [TS]

  and the and the cassettes the i'm [TS]

  talking about the needles ya little [TS]

  cartridges [TS]

  yes the cartridges are completely [TS]

  trashed and worn out and the and the [TS]

  wedding of people are the people that [TS]

  hired you to be a DJ I look at you and [TS]

  they say you didn't bring your own [TS]

  cartridges also forgot to mention all [TS]

  the music uh was new order and American [TS]

  standards i don't remember what his [TS]

  preference was i would guess for the [TS]

  standards i want to go to this every [TS]

  time i see you falling I get down on my [TS]

  knees and raise yeah I want to go to a [TS]

  wedding that you're the wedding DJ icey [TS]

  never encouraged me to hire you to do [TS]

  that job I got Thank You Man after after [TS]

  after disappointing Frank Sinatra feel [TS]

  like I could really use the goose [TS]

  no no I you know you would DJ so well [TS]

  yeah I actually a lot of dvds we might [TS]

  really read the room and you'd be like [TS]

  everybody's dancing now I'm going to [TS]

  slow down a little bit i'm gonna do the [TS]

  featured dance the brighter better [TS]

  stepfather has her because her father [TS]

  left early in her life [TS]

  yeah and her stepfather was the one that [TS]

  really you know got her into swimming he [TS]

  really stand out watch later with he [TS]

  didn't have to he didn't have to do that [TS]

  baby did he stepped up to the plate he [TS]

  would have to swim practice over and [TS]

  over the same wing and you know and then [TS]

  her father fucking deadbeat father shows [TS]

  off your wedding he thinks he can just [TS]

  show up he thinks after years of phoning [TS]

  it in [TS]

  he can show up and act like nothing's [TS]

  changed but her stepfather has has the [TS]

  grace to you know to not be jealous of [TS]

  this and the daughter loves her fine [TS]

  even though he's a deadbeat she'll [TS]

  always she always loved him [TS]

  yeah and so she wants to dance with him [TS]

  to in the father-daughter dance and so [TS]

  the stepfather your father walks out [TS]

  taps the stepfather on the shoulder and [TS]

  the stepfather gracefully bowing out my [TS]

  god i love and i had and then the father [TS]

  and daughter did you know go like [TS]

  conclude the damn how does it feel it's [TS]

  right everybody is so and so fucking [TS]

  touched by that but but the thing is [TS]

  even though i'm playing mostly American [TS]

  standards and new order I'm [TS]

  probably the macarena you know what I [TS]

  mean you know if it's on the computer I [TS]

  just let the dogs out who [TS]

  now what's a hot wedding song now is it [TS]

  because you know there's always novelty [TS]

  songs at dances right for like you know [TS]

  at the reception [TS]

  there's novelty songs for a long time it [TS]

  was a key breaky heart because you had [TS]

  to come out and do the boot scoot boot [TS]

  scootin right i think Macarena was [TS]

  around for a long time are we in a [TS]

  period right now where there are no [TS]

  Universal novelty song here's the thing [TS]

  this is an excellent point and possibly [TS]

  a career changer for you because nobody [TS]

  got a UH humbly oh hey hey yeah hey yeah [TS]

  might be a big one but it's already [TS]

  that's what that's 13 years old still [TS]

  terrific song here's what I'm saying [TS]

  first we get the bullshit I help you [TS]

  dad's no shut it off shut that stuff off [TS]

  but we do need and who catchy novelty [TS]

  wedding song [TS]

  yes something that's like uh ah ah [TS]

  what about what about that cover of mac [TS]

  the knife [TS]

  Darren know who was the guy who was the [TS]

  guy from the New York Dolls that had a [TS]

  career in David Johansen David Johansen [TS]

  it didn't he do some good covers of like [TS]

  classics [TS]

  I think he did he kicked out that whole [TS]

  trend of people who were in the the [TS]

  September of their years now you know [TS]

  you had to get your rod stewart's Rod [TS]

  Stewart yeah uh you've got sure you know [TS]

  all the aging folks come out they start [TS]

  to an American standards that's right [TS]

  how many of them have ever done an [TS]

  entire album of new order covers is my [TS]

  question when you on that when you love [TS]

  that haha what I want to see is John Joe [TS]

  do a cut to a standard of just a whole [TS]

  record of like new order covers with a [TS]

  big hahaha just like with a fucking big [TS]

  band [TS]

  oh it was a it was Buster Poindexter and [TS]

  his yes song hot hot hot hot hot hot hot [TS]

  hot hot he was also david johansen David [TS]

  Johansen take your hand sister [TS]

  yep uh on-the-go and cashews with Tim [TS]

  Curry yeah okay they look the same [TS]

  because they were both the they both [TS]

  crossdressed [TS]

  yeah but Tim Curry never had a late [TS]

  eighties or mid eighties like it was [TS]

  calling the Shockers I think you'll take [TS]

  the work you can get he was the clown in [TS]

  the sewer in it [TS]

  yeah we were singing loud in the sewer [TS]

  sure come the sooner I know and yea IM [TS]

  always area [TS]

  this has been so useful for me I'm [TS]

  learning so much and for you I feel like [TS]

  Koch on change the world is opening its [TS]

  like an oyster just opening to you right [TS]

  now you've got so many options you got [TS]

  you got a frog in your pocket you can [TS]

  think about what kind of weapon you want [TS]

  you have to think about what you're [TS]

  doing that hand fist an entire career [TS]

  awaits you do you like a novelty rap [TS]

  song for weddings [TS]

  Maggie I wish I so you're saying you're [TS]

  taking attorney that was in your face [TS]

  you do an album of like some faces and [TS]

  some rod stewart covers gonna spill my [TS]

  daddy's q and make a living out of [TS]

  playing pool fact that data do you think [TS]

  you think is that wedding song what you [TS]

  could do that all with the with midi you [TS]

  can video of that promise that that song [TS]

  is about a young guy having an affair [TS]

  with an older woman and that is not a [TS]

  song that anybody was played at their [TS]

  wedding [TS]

  even if it in even if it's applicable [TS]

  right like even if it is I nobody's [TS]

  looking pretty pretty tone-deaf to what [TS]

  the song is actually about you know well [TS]

  ya PHR finisher I did you ever do the [TS]

  dave eggers thing you ever do that i'm [TS]

  still working on the still working on a [TS]

  song coming [TS]

  oh it's so good it is super American you [TS]

  want to know what's weird about it who I [TS]

  wrote the lyrics on my phone which I [TS]

  almost never have done and and I didn't [TS]

  then [TS]

  excuse me did not transcribe them out to [TS]

  a pad and traditionally when I'm [TS]

  rehearsing a song i have a pad with the [TS]

  lyrics on and i put the pad on the floor [TS]

  something scribble you can you can [TS]

  circle we can do all that kind of stuff [TS]

  I said with the guitar and I run through [TS]

  the song and then I crossed something [TS]

  out and i put it but I'd haven't done [TS]

  that yet with this the song only exists [TS]

  on my phone and so I'll play a verse and [TS]

  then i have to stop and scroll and play [TS]

  the next verse and then stop and scroll [TS]

  and i have yet to really get a vibe on [TS]

  the tune I [TS]

  never played it all the way through Wow [TS]

  and I've been working on this song for I [TS]

  don't know a couple of weeks now and [TS]

  I've never actually played the song all [TS]

  the way through and i keep saying to [TS]

  myself what I'm not what I'm not gonna [TS]

  don't have a guitar i'm walking around [TS]

  in the day and I go what the fuck [TS]

  happened i finish that song oh I need to [TS]

  write those lyrics out on a pan but then [TS]

  I just stop i keep forgetting to do it [TS]

  and I don't know why what it's so it [TS]

  seems so simple get a pad we have a [TS]

  chance you could be your brain telling [TS]

  you something maybe you know it sounds [TS]

  like last time we talked about this it's [TS]

  so I i feel like i was hearing you say [TS]

  you were a little ambivalent because [TS]

  first of all I could be taken to be a [TS]

  jingoistic anthem but but also that [TS]

  maybe you were starting to kind of like [TS]

  it as a song I sing that you like [TS]

  singing the histrionics right [TS]

  herpaderp little bit you know what I you [TS]

  know what I mean you know what I do i do [TS]

  too well I i feel a little bit like over [TS]

  the years I've done several [TS]

  rock-and-roll teams and particularly [TS]

  rock and roll covers right i have almost [TS]

  an entire album of covers waiting in the [TS]

  wings [TS]

  Maya you know my rock-and-roll they [TS]

  might be giants cover i did a rock and [TS]

  roll cover of some like and tuned by [TS]

  niko I've done I've done quite a few [TS]

  rock and roll covers and every time I [TS]

  have presented them to my record label [TS]

  and admittedly a record label that is [TS]

  generally opposed to rock and roll em [TS]

  but they have responded with the sort of [TS]

  a min foo and I'm a little bit worried [TS]

  that all these rock'n'roll tunes that I [TS]

  think are great like the rock and roll [TS]

  version of ultimatum on my award-winning [TS]

  album my phony award-winning album [TS]

  before putting the day so that's that's [TS]

  that's a good version of that well but I [TS]

  get a lot of email i get a lot of [TS]

  letters from people saying why did you [TS]

  remake that song it was fine already as [TS]

  it was and I was like I'm you made it [TS]

  because I wrote and I can do what I want [TS]

  and people don't accept that [TS]

  so I'm beginning to feel like maybe I [TS]

  have like a maybe I have a little bit of [TS]

  a deficit in knowing and understanding [TS]

  what people want and whether or not they [TS]

  want rock music for me [TS]

  let's listen to the hands the hands will [TS]

  tell you but the meat hand and the and [TS]

  the Russian hand are telling me [TS]

  different things that's that's the [TS]

  nature of the hands they're there [TS]

  they're both trying to tell you [TS]

  something and you as the master of the [TS]

  hemispheres have to figure out how to [TS]

  square that circle [TS]

  listen to the pan listen to the pan who [TS]

  can touch the pan haha what is the pan [TS]

  telling you now [TS]

  fine only English people can fly [TS]

  that's one for the books [TS]

  [Music] [TS]