Roderick on the Line

Ep. 205: "Space Clarinets"

 

  hello hi John [TS]

  I'm Merlin how's it going good i really [TS]

  like your new avatar your skype avatar [TS]

  thank you dr. head or whatever dr. [TS]

  Scarface and shiny thing where I change [TS]

  things periodically oh whoa you just [TS]

  recently change your passwords can say [TS]

  uh oh my i'm always change my passwords [TS]

  when you have a new password do you make [TS]

  it so that it's something that you can [TS]

  type quickly or is it something that you [TS]

  have to kind of spider type like at [TS]

  spider typing okay actually asking [TS]

  yeah I would never choose a password [TS]

  that i can remember i see and i use a [TS]

  little computer program that remembers [TS]

  my passwords for me [TS]

  how do you remember the computer program [TS]

  huh who blue penis is the blue penis man [TS]

  right [TS]

  I mean I mean I mean [TS]

  whoa words all the way I mean what oh so [TS]

  you just have the password to you have [TS]

  the password to the computer machine [TS]

  yes and it has the passwords to [TS]

  everything i have a password to the [TS]

  computer machine and then my password [TS]

  program has passed phrase which is a [TS]

  long sentence that type that in and then [TS]

  that lets me get to individual passwords [TS]

  oh I see you have a passphrase a [TS]

  passphrase you have a pass phrase which [TS]

  is like opposite dolorem upset dolorem [TS]

  consecutive MIT this is ronnie was [TS]

  Ronnie and it's something that only you [TS]

  could know i don't know maybe my want to [TS]

  talk about it it's not photos of your [TS]

  keys [TS]

  it's not what mr. Fidel did everybody [TS]

  hear from mr. fail did see that's the [TS]

  bigger wouldn't work exactly because [TS]

  nobody knows that's that's my passphrase [TS]

  he came prodigiously in his shorts but i [TS]

  changed all those two zeros because I'm [TS]

  leet wow you learned about that in 4chan [TS]

  right [TS]

  I yeah sure i'm not a new but I'm i [TS]

  right am i right [TS]

  this is terrific do-si-do radical Ali's [TS]

  totally i do inverted Mobius oh is that [TS]

  right [TS]

  my trick move him inverted Mobius if you [TS]

  started inverted Mobius be allowed to [TS]

  finish it is just keep turning around [TS]

  hand I think you're finished with you [TS]

  when you land and pitches no matter [TS]

  where you are on the loop i don't know [TS]

  exactly why our when this started but [TS]

  for some reason uh maybe starting a few [TS]

  months ago whenever I see some some kid [TS]

  walk around the neighborhood vaping i [TS]

  would say first interest in my head I go [TS]

  68 bro huh [TS]

  and then increasingly i would kind of [TS]

  say it under my breath ago six great bro [TS]

  break if something happened in the last [TS]

  couple weeks and I I don't even realize [TS]

  i'm doing it i just go sick bro which [TS]

  now I'm making friends well now i'm [TS]

  doing it for skateboarding tricks and it [TS]

  feels pretty good so we're using sick [TS]

  vape bro two people could further [TS]

  skateboarder they don't land the trick [TS]

  it feels it feels so good and it feels [TS]

  so right because there's 200 you know [TS]

  you see those people that they look a [TS]

  little bit he kept off their tribal or [TS]

  merely live in a car and it's it's a [TS]

  it's a guy who could be 16 or it could [TS]

  be 60 and he keeps riding a skateboard [TS]

  and try to jump over the bike rack and [TS]

  he keeps making a big noise and falling [TS]

  down and doing it over now first of all [TS]

  I want to say to this young or old man [TS]

  you know hakuna matata I admire your [TS]

  persistence for feeling the need to [TS]

  write a children's toy over a bike rack [TS]

  stick with that letters they're going to [TS]

  get a lot of letters [TS]

  yeah I know it's hard when i think about [TS]

  vapor yeah i think your piping of your [TS]

  friend Scott Simpson family he's not [TS]

  really a vapor though I'm no see we talk [TS]

  about what's the dividing line between [TS]

  one who babysat a vapor I think it's one [TS]

  thing to have an ethernet wizard [TS]

  cigarette and it's quite another thing [TS]

  to have that little RTT dildo is ok [TS]

  alright I see what you're saying [TS]

  when you get you wonder like this is [TS]

  probably what futurist from the forties [TS]

  thought it would look like if you had [TS]

  polio or asthma in 2016 this is what he [TS]

  who continues I will take a minuscule [TS]

  amount of my space medicine food and [TS]

  litter name is Dan tenten tenten isn't a [TS]

  yeah it is it a baby christmas Benny [TS]

  Goodman signal yeah like a space [TS]

  clarinet i don't know why i don't know [TS]

  why i think it's quite so funny as i do [TS]

  except that it's one of those things [TS]

  where you're like an old person you see [TS]

  something that perfectly encapsulate the [TS]

  silliness of a certain generation [TS]

  regardless of whether the individual [TS]

  people are or are not rhodes scholars [TS]

  and good people [TS]

  there's something that just encapsulated [TS]

  like what we're gonna laugh about and [TS]

  you see this in something like when you [TS]

  first see a movie that sends up a trend [TS]

  that's 15 to 20 years old so yeah you [TS]

  know you show a movie about that's [TS]

  essentially what the late eighties and [TS]

  there's gotta be some kid with like at [TS]

  all fade and it's gonna be some people [TS]

  in like neon clothing there's the kinds [TS]

  of things that immediately jump out to [TS]

  us [TS]

  oh my god that's all remember hat we can [TS]

  look but there's that thing that jumps [TS]

  out at you that it takes 15 years to [TS]

  really sink in for most normal people we [TS]

  go oh my god that's so weird that we all [TS]

  did that and that seemed normal for a [TS]

  while [TS]

  yeah well think about like at the time [TS]

  River Phoenix hair seemed like it was [TS]

  like a fat right you'll see it mocked in [TS]

  that kind of Arab like long wispy bangs [TS]

  across your space [TS]

  no kid got it you're talking about that [TS]

  did leonardo dicaprio Titanic Arab [TS]

  that's right that's right i think of it [TS]

  as River Phoenix sure I think he was [TS]

  their first I think that the key was the [TS]

  John the Baptist's to that no for [TS]

  shizzle [TS]

  but but whatever Phoenix air turns out [TS]

  who is a perennial style where we're [TS]

  always going to have river phoenix area [TS]

  I think it's kinda cool actually that's [TS]

  right ok so if I was out if I was out to [TS]

  do and always I would have little track [TS]

  I've had it I've had it [TS]

  anytime but do you remember there was a [TS]

  done you may not because you might have [TS]

  been sequestered somewhere in florida [TS]

  where army jackets didn't have a [TS]

  mustache [TS]

  yeah but in the questionable situation [TS]

  is one of the primary performance [TS]

  characteristics of Florida yeah right [TS]

  for precisely i mean because you're all [TS]

  preparing for the for the the super wave [TS]

  yeah NP the Jesus losing sports losing [TS]

  sports the entire state just doing that [TS]

  was a great canneries me for making [TS]

  anyone without losing sports losing [TS]

  sports [TS]

  yeah that's actually the brand of my [TS]

  underwear oh well but there's one that's [TS]

  the silver in it gets over it now that's [TS]

  different the silver underwear is [TS]

  different that your feet are for [TS]

  protecting underwear it it's a it's like [TS]

  a Faraday cage [TS]

  well thanks it's a Faraday cage for your [TS]

  for your business [TS]

  it keeps the the the electromagnetic [TS]

  pulse out of my junk that's nice i was [TS]

  on the eff site day and a half ago and i [TS]

  saw i was buying some eff items and I [TS]

  saw that they have several are fit [TS]

  protecting things you can get you cannot [TS]

  get our foot protector for your passport [TS]

  you can get one free wallet is the eff [TS]

  site the one that listens to the signals [TS]

  radio station from the linkages with [TS]

  Jeff Tweety know it's the Electronic [TS]

  Frontier Foundation and they're trying [TS]

  to protect us from things they have a [TS]

  seed bank [TS]

  all right exactly the seed bank people [TS]

  are you know hang on a minute talking [TS]

  about like a survivalist thing about [TS]

  like rubber see if you don't think of [TS]

  the WWF the World Wrestling Federation [TS]

  that protects the pandas a lot of people [TS]

  their seed bank is just a pile of the [TS]

  abuse issue but ok I'm gonna help seed [TS]

  bank right here talking about his back [TS]

  weeks i know i want to go but I want to [TS]

  go back and revisit the idea of it [TS]

  alright a whole day thing I want to get [TS]

  back I want to get back to this see fit [TS]

  thing you're talking about or whatever [TS]

  whatever i just missed it all our fish [TS]

  are fed but uh but no I remember very [TS]

  distinctly in the early nineties when [TS]

  the when the first wave of not not like [TS]

  raver the first wave of ravers I think [TS]

  of as sort of madchester [TS]

  manchester ravers right but the second [TS]

  wave of waivers if you will where they [TS]

  were where they all had pacifiers and [TS]

  giant pants and they were wearing shop [TS]

  classes and they would they're very [TS]

  Burning Man II like they had they had [TS]

  goggles on bottom [TS]

  yeah and I know I know what you mean it [TS]

  wasn't there was a cross over there was [TS]

  the because he had I mean not be too [TS]

  precious about this but you have like [TS]

  house music it was kind of a thing I was [TS]

  right presents but then the Madchester [TS]

  came along and you had all that bullshit [TS]

  like happy mondays which I wish I still [TS]

  can't believe anybody like and what [TS]

  wasn't letting you know it was our [TS]

  program it's a lot of stomping and a lot [TS]

  of screaming and and it wasn't very good [TS]

  and i could really sing in the music [TS]

  wasn't really any particular kind of [TS]

  music but it was of its time and so [TS]

  people go and they dance around that [TS]

  because their english and then and [TS]

  favorite [TS]

  yes yes yes recently French hmm how [TS]

  butBut second wave i was a friend when [TS]

  you get into more the the statistic and [TS]

  stuff right now we get the waivers I was [TS]

  afraid of a that I was kind of like with [TS]

  the with the space clarinet [TS]

  yeah it seemed like wait a minute is [TS]

  this the thing we're all going to laugh [TS]

  about [TS]

  or is this the have we turn to the page [TS]

  is this the new because everybody going [TS]

  to be doing this in 15 years and will [TS]

  never remember a time like having a foot [TS]

  in both those worlds on the one hand you [TS]

  go [TS]

  clearly it's silly for grown men to wear [TS]

  clown pants and have a pacifier on the [TS]

  other hand like you know I you know I [TS]

  don't reject everything out and just [TS]

  don't understand it well exactly right [TS]

  and and there are so many things right [TS]

  now I was thinking about this the other [TS]

  day so many so many things right now [TS]

  where you're like is this the is are we [TS]

  at the beginning of a thing where this [TS]

  is the this is a lasting I'm missing out [TS]

  it's like it's like it's like will be [TS]

  like in 1969 like I'm not doing snapchat [TS]

  I told the snapshot i find it totally [TS]

  confusing my the guy who goes like I'm [TS]

  not gonna watch the moon landing because [TS]

  that's not such a big deal right [TS]

  ru ru on the wrong side of history right [TS]

  or I mean in particular right now we [TS]

  have so many ideas that are fashionable [TS]

  so many ideas about what the what the [TS]

  futures gonna look like or how I got my [TS]

  whole life my whole young life I was [TS]

  like dad you don't know anything [TS]

  perfect dirt and then as I got older I [TS]

  was like all turns out my dad knew some [TS]

  stuff you know [TS]

  now we're in a cultural moment where [TS]

  there's a whole generation of people [TS]

  like you don't know anything and maybe [TS]

  they're right [TS]

  hmm or maybe they work a stranger John [TS]

  yeah maybe their culture maybe it's [TS]

  maybe some of these ideas are cultural [TS]

  called a sec it's really hard to know I [TS]

  agree how we're gonna be in 15 years [TS]

  would always get the thing is that there [TS]

  are certain kinds of things like you [TS]

  know in retrospect looking at video of [TS]

  civil rights protesters like they had [TS]

  everything going for them they had they [TS]

  had had a really shitty history as human [TS]

  beings terrible things were visited upon [TS]

  them and yet they looked cool [TS]

  the acting cool they were tough as nails [TS]

  and like to see like a well-dressed [TS]

  black woman getting hit with a fire hose [TS]

  you're like holy shit how could anybody [TS]

  not look at that and go [TS]

  god I hope that lady wins whatever it is [TS]

  that she's winning yes even if it's a [TS]

  weird idea even like but even like I was [TS]

  watching a watching Muhammad Ali a [TS]

  biography the other night like a [TS]

  documentary and like you say what you [TS]

  will about loose connection of Islam but [TS]

  man those guys look sharp [TS]

  they look sharp that was a great look [TS]

  and so in retrospect that yeah the [TS]

  candidate plus pluses and minuses but [TS]

  I'm trying to say is you cannot always [TS]

  judge the space clarinets and the [TS]

  waivers in the burning and burning hair [TS]

  that's right you can't always judge it [TS]

  by how well they pull off the fashion [TS]

  park is there could be an a/c the back [TS]

  to the seed bank a seat of a fantastic [TS]

  idea buried inside all those clown pants [TS]

  this is what I worry about because if I [TS]

  if I if I launched myself back into the [TS]

  early eighties when i'm watching buck [TS]

  rogers in the 21st century there was a [TS]

  lot of dancing in that television show [TS]

  that revolved around people each [TS]

  grabbing one end of a scarf [TS]

  sometimes a long ghazi scarf and and [TS]

  kind of waltzing around as though around [TS]

  the Maypole except there's no pole [TS]

  they're just holding the scarf up in the [TS]

  air and with things like fancy chamber [TS]

  music well [TS]

  sort of except play through space [TS]

  closest space space space again right so [TS]

  it was space music and they were doing [TS]

  this dance that seemed kind of like a [TS]

  cut like a mating dance but they were [TS]

  obviously very sophisticated space [TS]

  people of the future and it actually [TS]

  kind of connected to the dancing that [TS]

  they did in the Bill and Ted's Excellent [TS]

  Adventure sort of you know the guitar [TS]

  swooping everything in the future as [TS]

  seen from the eighties involved some [TS]

  kind of hand motion dancing is kinda [TS]

  like like what like morris dancing meets [TS]

  rhythmic gymnastics who is except very [TS]

  slow right it always timed first slowly [TS]

  like the buck rogers dancing was very [TS]

  slow so was the guitar swooping motion [TS]

  of Bill and Ted it was all very you know [TS]

  it's not like frenetic dancing and so [TS]

  you so you look now and you think ours [TS]

  is it [TS]

  are we actually closer to the future [TS]

  with with the goggles in the the clown [TS]

  pants and the vaping then we are because [TS]

  you know when I see a picture of Malcolm [TS]

  X in nineteen sixty or when i see that [TS]

  you know the the people in Selma like [TS]

  you're absolutely right there is sitting [TS]

  there at the lunch counter like inland [TS]

  necktie there's no better fashion in the [TS]

  history of times so badass and 1959 to [TS]

  1962 and you wonder like it's sort of [TS]

  like the cars the cars of 1967 why don't [TS]

  we just go back to that we've never let [TS]

  you know in this is the crazy is I sound [TS]

  like absolutely crazy person but because [TS]

  but i think because those passions [TS]

  actually predate me i'm not doing the [TS]

  weird nostalgia thing of like why what [TS]

  hey why don't we just all drive 1987 [TS]

  cars which would sound crazy but to say [TS]

  1967 cars from before I was born [TS]

  that doesn't sound crazy room 18 when [TS]

  they just doesn't sound crazy but the [TS]

  problem is the people do try to do that [TS]

  but when they do it would be like going [TS]

  to like the cheap carnival in town where [TS]

  they want to draw the caricature of you [TS]

  with the giant head kicking a soccer [TS]

  ball and that's not really what i look [TS]

  like that's what you get for buck feels [TS]

  like he's 57 like if you were actually [TS]

  seen one of these cards these things you [TS]

  need [TS]

  you think that people make today looking [TS]

  box that arise from amazon it just [TS]

  happens to be painted orange yeah yeah I [TS]

  one time I was walking across the [TS]

  Charles Bridge in in Prague and it's [TS]

  covered with people doing those drawings [TS]

  except they're not just thinking that [TS]

  mug [TS]

  no that was a different town so I can [TS]

  get all your brief anecdote straight [TS]

  it's like there's a lot of a lot is [TS]

  going on the bridges in Europe that's it [TS]

  that's the main because what happens is [TS]

  the people on the one side of the people [TS]

  on the other side they meet in the [TS]

  middle [TS]

  yeah let's sit down on the girlfriends [TS]

  are always feel they're doing that [TS]

  people have little contraptions where [TS]

  there there it's like an organ grinder [TS]

  and some little puppet is damn thing I'm [TS]

  sure that you'll find somebody with a [TS]

  monkey a lot of people are drawing [TS]

  there's juggling you know it's a it's [TS]

  like it's a thing half the tourists in [TS]

  Prague only go across the bridge to go [TS]

  back across the bridge got a bridge like [TS]

  that right but oh that's right you do [TS]

  but there's a lot of there's a lot of [TS]

  people that actually have to go across [TS]

  this bridge and i'm missing to think of [TS]

  it that way because like I never thought [TS]

  in quite those terms like what do you [TS]

  use for a bridge the primary use the [TS]

  bridge for most people is to go from one [TS]

  side to the other for a while and then [TS]

  probably come back the other people just [TS]

  think of the bridge that thing that you [TS]

  just go over and come back you go over [TS]

  and come back right how many people how [TS]

  many people go over the golden gate [TS]

  bridge and come back so was yesterday [TS]

  was it was so foggy and so windy and [TS]

  they're all these people out there [TS]

  taking pictures of themselves being held [TS]

  i felt that let me know when you think [TS]

  about that [TS]

  what would you estimate it was forty [TS]

  percent of the trafficker sixty percent [TS]

  as far as like obviously the foot [TS]

  traffic there's not that many people [TS]

  that are commuting from sausalito just I [TS]

  just gotta just need to get from need to [TS]

  get from the presidio up to the Marin [TS]

  Headlands for my executive job know a [TS]

  lot of people on bikes and you know and [TS]

  no matter how many times it's it never [TS]

  stopped being funny this is San [TS]

  Francisco is the TSA agent of the world [TS]

  we keep telling people [TS]

  ladies and gentlemen please I know it [TS]

  says June on your calendar [TS]

  I know it's probably june in Germany [TS]

  somewhere please please wear long and [TS]

  hoes and [TS]

  where some long pants yeah for sure sure [TS]

  you're gonna freeze your ass off but it [TS]

  was on the Charles Bridge le ok oh why [TS]

  stopped one day and this is the comments [TS]

  over the lava River Park yeah the blue [TS]

  top [TS]

  oh yeah okay I know what you mean i'm [TS]

  sorry confused for a minute sava mm [TS]

  apparently bridge it's just a stone [TS]

  bridge is that the one that's the one [TS]

  that's exactly right it has statues [TS]

  along its wing of all be important [TS]

  saints of the Czech people and it's very [TS]

  it's one of these bridges where ya tens [TS]

  of thousands people go across that [TS]

  everyday for absolutely no reason I [TS]

  happen to feel like there's a really [TS]

  great break bakery on the other side no [TS]

  one ever goes to it because just waiting [TS]

  it's just waiting there for the normals [TS]

  for the people that are like I gotta go [TS]

  across the Charles Bridge on my way to [TS]

  work and I think probably if you lived [TS]

  there you would avoid it at certain [TS]

  times of the year but I stop there one [TS]

  time having gone across this bridge were [TS]

  not a million times but you know [TS]

  somewhere short of a million more than [TS]

  15 and there's a guy there he's drawing [TS]

  people and I'm like you know I'm gonna [TS]

  send a drawing home to my mom because is [TS]

  that isn't that a nice thing to do like [TS]

  i'll put it in the mail [TS]

  it's nice it's personal and it's unusual [TS]

  yeah and she'll open this package i want [TS]

  a shot glass or a tiny spoon [TS]

  exactly it's a little thing and and it's [TS]

  like oh I got a package and you open it [TS]

  up [TS]

  it's a hand drawing of my son up from in [TS]

  and and it's not going to say anywhere [TS]

  on it that it was done on a bridge that [TS]

  will be part of the story that i bring [TS]

  home so I sit down this guys doing this [TS]

  drawing and he's chatting to the other [TS]

  drawers around him [TS]

  I'm not going to call them artist who [TS]

  and I get this thing what and when he's [TS]

  done i get this drawing and it is the [TS]

  spitting image of my cousin of creating [TS]

  like he just did my face just strong [TS]

  enough that looked exactly like my [TS]

  cousin's TV so much that I thought about [TS]

  sending it to Stevie like hey we haven't [TS]

  talked in awhile i have this drawing [TS]

  done of you [TS]

  let's not weekend [TS]

  and so I didn't want to send it to my [TS]

  mom because I was like this isn't a [TS]

  likeness of me but but this guys doing [TS]

  this drawing look like send me a picture [TS]

  of your cousin [TS]

  yeah right let's get a weaker this [TS]

  drawing of Stevie not sure what to do [TS]

  with it [TS]

  happy mondays so I so I carried it with [TS]

  me because I'd paid five dollars for it [TS]

  or fifteen dollars i didn't want to [TS]

  throw it away and we'll let you know [TS]

  when the guy was like your drawing I was [TS]

  like hmm [TS]

  and he said five dollars he was it was [TS]

  clear that it was clear to both of us [TS]

  that it was shite but he was like five [TS]

  dollars and are looking here you go [TS]

  I would sort of parted ways without a [TS]

  handshake or anything like right thanks [TS]

  for your help and I but I carried it [TS]

  with me I carried it with me i'm going [TS]

  to throw it away but also i'm going to [TS]

  send it to anyone and knowing I would [TS]

  never display it or use it for anything [TS]

  uh I carry it with me until it became up [TS]

  like a talismanic of a certain kind of [TS]

  thing like here's this shitty drawing [TS]

  that I can't get rid of and i eventually [TS]

  one day like unburden myself of of [TS]

  events and i think i might have even [TS]

  thrown in a river [TS]

  all units a later river huh [TS]

  tell me anyone how at risk i have i have [TS]

  to now i'm giving away a lot of stuff [TS]

  you don't want to do this people are [TS]

  going to be very upset onto this please [TS]

  don't do this [TS]

  are you are very sincerely worried you [TS]

  worried about being our passwords [TS]

  no notnot password okay don't talk more [TS]

  about morris dancing and one password [TS]

  for all my stuff oh my god had it and [TS]

  it's the name of my captain whose name [TS]

  is cat I said the name of the cat on the [TS]

  programs every time to know I what is [TS]

  the actual risk of somebody scanning me [TS]

  as i walked passed out far with for our [TS]

  part of my eyes see that's a good [TS]

  question i don't know i don't know a lot [TS]

  about our foods I i dint get also [TS]

  because i don't know a lot about the way [TS]

  that you capture the information from [TS]

  our fit i remember a few years back [TS]

  really fast [TS]

  sending article about walmart and as [TS]

  there are so many fascinating but like [TS]

  reading basically about how their [TS]

  infrastructure works and we know about [TS]

  things that there just-in-time delivery [TS]

  we know about you know the ability to [TS]

  use computers to track the need for [TS]

  things and what works well what sells [TS]

  well and we know about all the business [TS]

  relationships gonna what's there just on [TS]

  time delivery it seems to me that if you [TS]

  order something you would like it to it [TS]

  to arrive a little bit before just on [TS]

  time [TS]

  well jit just in time and so and so part [TS]

  of what part of walmart success comes [TS]

  down to their network of massive [TS]

  warehouse is located around the u.s. and [TS]

  an ability that people like Amazon I'm [TS]

  not gonna extremely good at which is to [TS]

  anticipate what kind of stuff will be [TS]

  needed we're not just based on what [TS]

  season it is infinitely walgreens [TS]

  putting fucking fans up in an aisle in [TS]

  West San Francisco because the [TS]

  summertime [TS]

  yeah nice yeah all thanks for the extra [TS]

  spf50 that would be really handy got [TS]

  mufflers haha but the fuck know so that [TS]

  I got were being real sweet girl called [TS]

  seasonal where we put the Easter shit no [TS]

  more than that so anyway the idea that [TS]

  was just in time is that they have they [TS]

  have the ability to understand a whole [TS]

  lot of stuff about their supply chain [TS]

  from like what where the weather like [TS]

  the basic plastics are mind all the way [TS]

  down to like how people will buy stuff [TS]

  in the store what goes on an end cap [TS]

  which kind of deal together classic [TS]

  pickles all that kind of stuff do you [TS]

  think do you think the Amazon knows that [TS]

  I'm gonna buy new pads for my 75 0 sixes [TS]

  like is there somebody there that's like [TS]

  whew i can feel the disturbance in the [TS]

  force as this has been explained to me [TS]

  it's not quite as creepy or magical as [TS]

  you would think but there is an element [TS]

  and we're going to come back to walmart [TS]

  but the idea with amazon is that they [TS]

  can anticipate what people in the area [TS]

  that they supply are more likely than [TS]

  not to order based on stuff so for [TS]

  example let's say I mean this is [TS]

  probably not scientific but let's say [TS]

  that there is something that's getting [TS]

  super hot like cards against humanity [TS]

  like it's very popular card game has [TS]

  been the number one card game on but [TS]

  something like that there's a new thing [TS]

  that pops up that suddenly goes on a [TS]

  national list goes from number 7280 nine [TS]

  like within [TS]

  few days and therefore about cabbage [TS]

  patch dolls could be could be but the [TS]

  thing is they notice another pattern [TS]

  which is that a bunch of people in the [TS]

  city of San Francisco have added that [TS]

  item to their wish list or matted that [TS]

  item to their cart think about it this [TS]

  way just for the sake of argument let's [TS]

  say a hundred people in San Francisco [TS]

  have added something to their cart the [TS]

  gate given ski given a SI ASI n has gone [TS]

  into their cart if they were just for [TS]

  the just for shits and giggles to have [TS]

  10 of those in town at the even though [TS]

  they have been ordered yet [TS]

  I was you that's entirely reasonable [TS]

  because it's a pretty good chance [TS]

  somebody's gonna buy those shirts in [TS]

  somebody's cards right and so for stuff [TS]

  so for stuff they can use a whole bunch [TS]

  of different signals to figure out smart [TS]

  ways to supply so that and then [TS]

  obviously what kind of shit like you [TS]

  know cables for iphones for all kinds of [TS]

  stuff [TS]

  butterflies you know every everybody [TS]

  buys on mrs. Myers that's just how it [TS]

  works [TS]

  mrs. meyer's to spray for making your [TS]

  house smell like a watermelon [TS]

  no really people buy this I do have a [TS]

  button for hit the button tickets [TS]

  delivered to my house so your house [TS]

  smells like watermelon land grapefruit [TS]

  it used to smell like bacon and coffee [TS]

  you're sweet to say so so they got [TS]

  really good at this at the walmart and [TS]

  so on trying to get at length is that [TS]

  supposably one part of their ability to [TS]

  do this is our food technology so mean [TS]

  to me by a dingus you open the box and [TS]

  the thing is you open up the box inside [TS]

  the box of the dancing and you notice [TS]

  this is an RV this there's two creepy [TS]

  little things in it is a creepy little [TS]

  white strip and creepy little square [TS]

  strip [TS]

  oh yeah i know those and the story goes [TS]

  that those are there i think one of them [TS]

  is for loss prevention be stealing and [TS]

  the other one is an are fit that is a [TS]

  unique identifier for that serial [TS]

  numbered object right so that at a given [TS]

  time in walmart that stuff gets can to [TS]

  put on the Shelf you [TS]

  they now have like an instant idea of [TS]

  exactly how much stuff is where its it [TS]

  was designed to be for supply chain [TS]

  buttons but because your credit cards [TS]

  got a chip now because your passport has [TS]

  an R fit people are I think the concern [TS]

  people have is that you're walking by [TS]

  somebody's got a scanner going oh IC and [TS]

  so if you're entertaining hallmarks they [TS]

  could pull [TS]

  your data down but it's not like [TS]

  somebody's cruising around in a month [TS]

  you can be fairly close [TS]

  I think that's the thing is it isn't it [TS]

  isn't like you can have a drone fly over [TS]

  the sea and collect everybody's our [TS]

  foods i think it's it's much it's more [TS]

  like Bluetooth i'm guessing so this is a [TS]

  thing if I were one of those people that [TS]

  had some thing in my wallet [TS]

  yeah like you go to the gas station [TS]

  sometimes they're like hey just touch [TS]

  your wallet and we'll take your money [TS]

  yeah I'm like does not seem like a thing [TS]

  I will ever want to do I don't want to [TS]

  touch my wallet to a gas pump out we [TS]

  have the dingus when you get the little [TS]

  fob and then they take my money but it's [TS]

  not a little else [TS]

  it's a thing inside it's like your [TS]

  credit card has the RR foods or some [TS]

  other sometimes a smart champion yeah [TS]

  it's like it's like the the old app bump [TS]

  for a while people would come up and [TS]

  saved a bump he dumped your phones and [TS]

  then have a cream for that now [TS]

  ok I've got four or five people's [TS]

  personal information in my phone that [TS]

  still says like arrived at through bump [TS]

  but like you had bump some kind of bump [TS]

  technology within the card that's in [TS]

  your wallet [TS]

  yes but anyway so I have that enhanced [TS]

  driver's license and I have a past board [TS]

  and i have my my TSA supercard yeah and [TS]

  for a while I carried them around in a [TS]

  little oil sleeve like crazy like a chem [TS]

  trails person yeah you know like tinfoil [TS]

  hat and then one day I was like what is [TS]

  this this is insane like giving some [TS]

  from what am i protecting myself [TS]

  yes some Russian hacker has figured out [TS]

  a way to get my passport information [TS]

  from being close to a gas pump [TS]

  yeah I say you got here we should [TS]

  probably research this with information [TS]

  but my gut is that it was that we're [TS]

  gonna get a lot of letters you know [TS]

  people are going to tell us about [TS]

  looking at my contact link it's just [TS]

  it's just not bring me joy anymore [TS]

  is that right yeah you don't want you [TS]

  what you don't want to hear from fans we [TS]

  that's exactly what you want because i [TS]

  don't hear from ya hands contact me [TS]

  other ways and they say hello I'm [TS]

  talking about I'm talking about today i [TS]

  woke up to a slew of [TS]

  I'm doing this thing now right trying to [TS]

  look at my phone when i first wake up [TS]

  and I and I do other things in my life [TS]

  before look at my phone which is very [TS]

  difficult to do because when you unplug [TS]

  it I can clearly see just out of the [TS]

  corner of my eye that's filled with [TS]

  notifications and I'm like yeah Louie CK [TS]

  says he doesn't masturbate to to stuff [TS]

  it images on computers anymore he sits [TS]

  around and waits until a sexy idea pops [TS]

  into his head [TS]

  oh boy he's ready he's a farm-to-table [TS]

  master baby sure isn't any sits and he [TS]

  thinks about it was like mm-hmm [TS]

  I've gotta add you know like this is a [TS]

  very sexy idea [TS]

  why's it fired instead of like odds 15 [TS]

  I'd better call up some some internet [TS]

  born yeah they're right that's right [TS]

  hey you know he's being self involved in [TS]

  a no and i'm in a much more engaged [TS]

  intellectual way but he is walking as [TS]

  one who now he's super wise so anyway I [TS]

  but i think the notion is that when you [TS]

  got a bunch of emails though you're [TS]

  saying how ya wear the emails offering [TS]

  you the opportunity to apply for a [TS]

  permit show now and get a lot of emails [TS]

  about people wanting to appear on a [TS]

  podcast that I do as you know and then I [TS]

  get a lot of email from people having to [TS]

  they want you to buy a website of mine [TS]

  they want to advertise on a website they [TS]

  want to write on a website of mine and [TS]

  it's just disappearing because i know [TS]

  i'm not going to write back to them but [TS]

  even the effort that it takes to archive [TS]

  / delete the email is exhausting to me [TS]

  yeah I don't like beginning my day with [TS]

  bullshit right you have to comb through [TS]

  all these things [TS]

  yeah and I mean the thing is it would be [TS]

  like I mean look at Minority Report you [TS]

  walk around in the billboards talking [TS]

  and stuff like that it would be like [TS]

  that except the billboards act but hurt [TS]

  if I don't invite into my house to hang [TS]

  out let me ask about your program where [TS]

  you have guessed yes do you do you have [TS]

  guests that once on the Brooklyn not a [TS]

  single time [TS]

  so when people say when you get multiple [TS]

  multiple emails from people saying and I [TS]

  love and follow up just just certainly [TS]

  back i'd love to be a guest on your [TS]

  program let me tell you why would be a [TS]

  good fit [TS]

  it's a war it's an award-winning program [TS]

  yes that's been on the air for a long [TS]

  long time [TS]

  huge never had a guest never had a guest [TS]

  i see yeah there's three parts was least [TS]

  three parts to this [TS]

  and we parted us elsewhere not talk [TS]

  about with you before but you get me you [TS]

  know i get it we get a note and it said [TS]

  the first thing really let's just get [TS]

  this out of the way this is pretty [TS]

  embarrassing for me i am a huge fan of [TS]

  your podcast about productivity I just [TS]

  it's all love your podcast never gets it [TS]

  huge huge fan all the great i have to [TS]

  tell you number two I think I would be a [TS]

  great guest on your show with my new [TS]

  book uh you know a hundred and fifteen [TS]

  new ways to turbocharge your power hacks [TS]

  you won't believe what happens next and [TS]

  then third there's been at length [TS]

  there's an explanation that almost [TS]

  always uses the exact same phraseology [TS]

  which is here's why I think I'd be a [TS]

  great fit hundred one super axe [TS]

  uh-huh in the case of somebody not too [TS]

  long ago named the backbone pet pet [TS]

  wanted to be on the show you and [TS]

  Benjamin and any giving us some links to [TS]

  things that he had recently done buried [TS]

  in those links i went and I looked at [TS]

  the description of an episode of a show [TS]

  he was on a good where I do you have [TS]

  trouble getting bloggers to respond to [TS]

  your emails dog pet [TS]

  ah and there's a part of me my eyes can [TS]

  roll back in my head for a minute like [TS]

  you know like a look at like I touch the [TS]

  max amount set out tree i started went [TS]

  into this vision quest where I was like [TS]

  this guy is fucking awesome [TS]

  yeah because he's done it I know I'm [TS]

  another time there's a guy who only work [TS]

  four hours a week at one time in an [TS]

  interview he told somebody about how he [TS]

  had engineered contacting me even though [TS]

  he kind of knew that I didn't want to [TS]

  talk to him he was able to engineer a [TS]

  way for us to get in contact and show [TS]

  about that he talked about this on [TS]

  another show [TS]

  oh yeah see this is a whole thing this [TS]

  I've been trying to get ahold of merlin [TS]

  mann i know a lot of you have you got [TS]

  the darknet the dark podcast net which [TS]

  is like the podcast about getting some [TS]

  podcast recording on you know podcast [TS]

  but I mean it's just that draw out the [TS]

  humor of what you're describing here and [TS]

  this is what makes me tired [TS]

  is that like to get to the point where [TS]

  somebody has obviously never listen to [TS]

  the show and let's just be clear i don't [TS]

  give a flying fuck whether you've ever [TS]

  heard the show what bugs me is if you [TS]

  pretend your whole pretense of this [TS]

  bullshit email is that you've heard the [TS]

  show [TS]

  when in fact if you'd listened to part [TS]

  of an episode you would know that we [TS]

  have had guest hosts we've had you have [TS]

  Jonathan Coulton rob corddry there's [TS]

  been a handful of people that have [TS]

  students guest house but we've never had [TS]

  anybody on the show in five-and-a-half [TS]

  years to talk about the book [TS]

  no it's never happened know you've never [TS]

  had anyone over your house to talk about [TS]

  a book you've never talked about a book [TS]

  with anybody even on the train to [TS]

  terrible but you know it's just it's [TS]

  there's a don't know what and I am and [TS]

  going into holden caulfield mode right [TS]

  here but yeah I mean talk about it was [TS]

  that have to wake up to that like a fish [TS]

  needs a bicycle [TS]

  oh you're telling me that the lesbian [TS]

  over here I I had an idea [TS]

  this is gonna come back we'll come back [TS]

  we still have to get back to River [TS]

  Phoenix out walmart our foods and I'm [TS]

  still talking about morris dancing I [TS]

  want to know more about our foods who [TS]

  but i feel you need to do some research [TS]

  on that [TS]

  well see I'm it i feel like i don't need [TS]

  to do some research sounds good until [TS]

  you go through because you and other [TS]

  people are going to do that research for [TS]

  me and then you're gonna send me emails [TS]

  that warned me this is so can challenge [TS]

  on i gotta i gotta i gotta text this [TS]

  morning out of texts i keep thinking of [TS]

  tweets as texts now I'm going to think [TS]

  of emails letters instead of starting i [TS]

  received a letter received a letter [TS]

  probably concerned for that wonderful [TS]

  thing where they threaten to explain [TS]

  threatened to mansplain frisbee golf to [TS]

  me and I was like it's so good of you to [TS]

  threaten to do that without doing it [TS]

  like I appreciate that because what [TS]

  they've communicated is I have this [TS]

  information I know you don't want it [TS]

  yeah but listen it's there for you and [TS]

  and that's that's lovely because now i [TS]

  don't have to Wikipedia frisbee golf and [TS]

  up and i was going to know what it's [TS]

  called they probably have a cute name [TS]

  for know they have called disc golf of [TS]

  course for years of you know it's [TS]

  something else so we ever contacted by a [TS]

  Shriner this week as a matter of fact [TS]

  yes I got a lot of schreiner emails from [TS]

  people who had already contacted me [TS]

  explaining that the same trailer [TS]

  different day explaining that shrine is [TS]

  an as an offshoot of or maybe just a [TS]

  like a deeply embedded component of of [TS]

  Masonic life [TS]

  although perhaps in decline or maybe [TS]

  ironically in it in a sentence that's [TS]

  useful but i but I get this may or may [TS]

  not be this and it may or may not be [TS]

  growing more night didn't probe who [TS]

  didn't read the shriner I didn't probe [TS]

  and that also is a component of shrine [TS]

  ism don't buy the shriner but i forgot [TS]

  to say last week was so as I was a yes I [TS]

  was as I was describing out my mom hates [TS]

  Hillbillies over there is nothing she [TS]

  hates more than Shriners oh no that was [TS]

  the second one [TS]

  yeah things number one two things with [TS]

  your mother and your father just review [TS]

  because people don't normally listen to [TS]

  this show two things about your parents [TS]

  while your parents are the least racist [TS]

  people you've ever met probably next to [TS]

  Donald Trump i'm guessing your direct do [TS]

  it there are two groups that your mother [TS]

  with holes nothing in her ire and that [TS]

  is number one Hillbillies and then you [TS]

  had a second you're telling me now the [TS]

  second Shriners yeah we never got back [TS]

  to the second one which is Shriners can [TS]

  she just has this lifelong and it's [TS]

  because she worked as a waitress in ohio [TS]

  in the fifties and see she said the [TS]

  Shriners would come in and they they [TS]

  like they kept cattle prods and they [TS]

  would prob the waitresses cattle prods [TS]

  now they were set getting drunk in the [TS]

  middle of the day and these and you know [TS]

  it's a different era of Shriners right [TS]

  sure [TS]

  temporary a more enlightened age and [TS]

  well yeah I mean now they ride Vespa [TS]

  scooters or so you know now they have [TS]

  porkpie hats then that mirrors on the [TS]

  shoes John Mitchell baby my mom made [TS]

  that sound like a huge minutes in the 56 [TS]

  men with mirrors on the shooters on [TS]

  their shields to this day I still I've [TS]

  never seen mirrors on a shoe but but i [TS]

  do think about it that's why you wear [TS]

  clean underwear in case you're in an [TS]

  accident or far the finest wine with a [TS]

  mirror but she's my Martin great Morris [TS]

  on anymore you never see a Shriner but [TS]

  when I was a kid there and Shriners and [TS]

  my mom was just under her brushed china [TS]

  and sheep and i think so i grew up with [TS]

  a very strong association with Shriners [TS]

  and there was a shrine temple [TS]

  uh-huh not four blocks from our house so [TS]

  they were Shriners all the time driving [TS]

  their little cars like saving kids [TS]

  yeah from sickness yeah and and I I when [TS]

  I went by the shriner temple both very [TS]

  curious about what was happening in [TS]

  there [TS]

  are no windows in the building but also [TS]

  like already filled with suspicion and [TS]

  fear of the trainers with their cattle [TS]

  prods horrible [TS]

  yeah I don't gotta go ahead i know i'm [TS]

  paul most definitely remembering this [TS]

  wrong because you know sometimes just [TS]

  words [TS]

  collapse in your head and there's a [TS]

  phrase going through my mind which is [TS]

  shrine circus or Shriner's circus [TS]

  yeah and what I'm remembering probably [TS]

  wrong was that the Shriners had a circus [TS]

  when I was a kid [TS]

  yeah and-and-and I i might be [TS]

  concatenated are conflating the idea of [TS]

  clowns and Shriners and being scared [TS]

  people just feel like there was a circus [TS]

  when I was a kid [TS]

  yeah and now i'm remembering the name of [TS]

  this this temple [TS]

  uh-huh they that was very clever [TS]

  actually they called it the AL askah [TS]

  like done in an Arabic script like al [TS]

  madina al al bundy right they have [TS]

  changed the name of Alaska into an Arab [TS]

  sounding like Al askah oh come on [TS]

  right they had they hadn't and they did [TS]

  it if they did it in like a script like [TS]

  an Orientalist script font where it felt [TS]

  like an Arab word Alaska and what is [TS]

  that that's like a check Jones cartoon [TS]

  yeah it was very like who united that [TS]

  table down in Albuquerque how but cookie [TS]

  and you imagine that in there there were [TS]

  dancing girls with veils yeah because [TS]

  but there weren't there were little cars [TS]

  and and cattle prods but the idea is [TS]

  this there was a kind of all like really [TS]

  I just started with all respect to mr. [TS]

  syed an Orientalist kind of bent it was [TS]

  very like Egyptian but there was [TS]

  something kind of like spooky oriental [TS]

  about Shriners that seemed [TS]

  self-consciously ridiculous [TS]

  well professors were sort of autumn [TS]

  is there a little bit Turkish yeah yeah [TS]

  yeah but then you get the tiny cars [TS]

  where you're basically saying look at me [TS]

  I'm a dick i'm driving around a tiny car [TS]

  well who knows what a tiny car [TS]

  communicates anymore people might really [TS]

  like i like it i wanted to smoke up i [TS]

  want a little the three quarter sized [TS]

  the rolls-royce to drive back and forth [TS]

  from school the children shiners are [TS]

  probably driving smart cars better they [TS]

  are little tiny ones those little those [TS]

  little BMW ones that look like my boy [TS]

  there's a wreck there was a rash of [TS]

  smart car flipping a couple years ago in [TS]

  severance of people would just turn them [TS]

  upside this is not funny san Francisco [TS]

  has so many fucking problems [TS]

  no but there was a thing where like [TS]

  basically overnight like people were [TS]

  just walking around and with with like [TS]

  you and a few of your buddies you can [TS]

  flip the smart car [TS]

  why with your hands I kind of don't hate [TS]

  that although an apt lawful well there's [TS]

  just so much awful stuff in San [TS]

  Francisco would be funny if it was [TS]

  somewhere else i guess a smart car is an [TS]

  audio yeah if that was happening vnb [TS]

  Emma only like yes exactly [TS]

  yeah I the donors of any spring be any [TS]

  spring I don't know when why didn't we [TS]

  intervene in the be any spring 1918 [TS]

  maicon hi [TS]

  I I don't like smart cars but I do [TS]

  wonder so here they are smart cars [TS]

  things that basically should be given [TS]

  away free because it's just a little [TS]

  it's like a little transporter for two [TS]

  people yeah it's not a thing you should [TS]

  buy particularly nothing you should buy [TS]

  for twenty-seven thousand dollars [TS]

  whatever cost that much [TS]

  I think there are a lot of money and [TS]

  when I think it is the primary thing the [TS]

  size i mean like example like when you [TS]

  get a premium for the speed and handling [TS]

  is it will was the smart part how it [TS]

  handles energy things [TS]

  yeah i think it was not just how it [TS]

  handles energy but it was a whole it was [TS]

  a whole like urbanist revision of the [TS]

  city and that's why sometimes you'll see [TS]

  smart cars backed into the curb at [TS]

  almost like a motorcycle [TS]

  yeah by way of communicating that in the [TS]

  space of thought in the space that it [TS]

  takes to park your car we could put five [TS]

  smart cars there by efficient seeing the [TS]

  entire operation of a cityscape [TS]

  while you the nice thing about a smart [TS]

  card that I do look at you girl smart [TS]

  car is our neighborhood you know what [TS]

  our neighborhoods like and most mr. [TS]

  Rogers are small small garages but also [TS]

  it's kind of weird i mean i don't think [TS]

  these streets were designed i don't know [TS]

  maybe they were designed of street [TS]

  parking [TS]

  but even with the relatively smaller car [TS]

  sizes up today there's still so many [TS]

  places where you can't quite fit a car [TS]

  we're like trying to tie up your horse [TS]

  there i guess so yeah but I mean like [TS]

  you have these two driveways that are [TS]

  just like you know 989 feet of parts in [TS]

  78 feet apart where there's no way that [TS]

  the jet is gonna fit in there but it's [TS]

  more car baby [TS]

  no problem that's right when did you [TS]

  start saying yeah like Chris wallah how [TS]

  to do that [TS]

  oh yeah cool [TS]

  I I don't like smart cars and in [TS]

  particular I don't like them because [TS]

  I've been waiting 25 years for people to [TS]

  start driving those motorcycles like the [TS]

  one in akhirah do you remember the [TS]

  motorcycle in acura i'm looking it up [TS]

  right now and it was really it was only [TS]

  the leaves the aerated the animated [TS]

  program [TS]

  yeah I was like that's like a light [TS]

  cycle you know exactly you you sit back [TS]

  in it like your kind of driving a [TS]

  chopper almost like a run on that [TS]

  motorcycle [TS]

  yeah and the motorcycle is hinged in the [TS]

  middle somehow like one of those green [TS]

  goblin bikes from the 70 this is cool [TS]

  and it's like what a cool bike [TS]

  all you need to do is just extended the [TS]

  canopy a little bit and it would be an [TS]

  enclosed you know you could use those [TS]

  big fat tires that you see on the back [TS]

  of Harley's now would be a little bit [TS]

  like the motorcycle from the Batmobile [TS]

  but i like what you mean with the big [TS]

  that big fat tire [TS]

  yeah if we're gonna have if we're gonna [TS]

  have a thing like a smart car we drive [TS]

  around like perp i'm an engineer I went [TS]

  to school in Prague why not have a [TS]

  bucking one person light cycle right it [TS]

  would you just have a fucking light [TS]

  cycle into a but you know what's nice [TS]

  about this fat tires it seems to me that [TS]

  one of the problems with the motorcycle [TS]

  is the surpassingly small amount of [TS]

  surface area [TS]

  where the vehicle is touching the road [TS]

  at a given time I mean not many square [TS]

  inches of motorcycle touching the road [TS]

  if you get those big Batman tires but [TS]

  you also introduced a little bit of a [TS]

  Segway gyroscope to it that's exactly [TS]

  right you put some you put some segue [TS]

  technology we have big fat tires you [TS]

  make it you take up let's say [TS]

  particularly a Segway where you lay down [TS]

  a laying down segue but it's but you [TS]

  know those you know those scooters [TS]

  they're like commuter scooters that are [TS]

  bigger and they have big fat butts and [TS]

  people actually write them on the [TS]

  freeway but they're sitting up on it [TS]

  like a scooter like a jonathan pryce [TS]

  Brazil car if you [TS]

  well not quite it's a it's it seems like [TS]

  a lot of times it's sort of a dykes on [TS]

  bikes thing almost but like people ride [TS]

  them to work they go 65 miles an hour [TS]

  butcher but it's like it's a it's open [TS]

  in the middle kind of like a scooter so [TS]

  you can wear your I don't know what suit [TS]

  or kill terse wilt but uh if you can [TS]

  make those why can't you take a [TS]

  bat-cycle a lights light cycle and an [TS]

  acura cycle who lay back with those for [TS]

  a little bit think about them as i have [TS]

  done and then use your a your check [TS]

  engineering education to actually build [TS]

  a cool thing [TS]

  cool rad thing that would never tip over [TS]

  that would protect you from the elements [TS]

  and that probably would be able to use [TS]

  segue technology to prevent you from [TS]

  ever getting sideswiped by a little lady [TS]

  in a Volvo and then this then we'd be in [TS]

  the future right [TS]

  cars not the furniture it's a col de sac [TS]

  nobody wants that nobody wants to ride [TS]

  around in a hard chair you want to lay [TS]

  back and you're super cool motorcycle [TS]

  but the thing is that the Batman and the [TS]

  light cycle both have a real aggressive [TS]

  forward leaning position don't [TS]

  absolutely late like a crotch rocket [TS]

  yeah but the akhirah bike you're like [TS]

  your cooling out you're like it's like [TS]

  you're in an Eames chair [TS]

  mmm in fact what if you co branded it [TS]

  with a name that's pretty good [TS]

  that's more people people love stuff [TS]

  like that see it be could be mid-century [TS]

  modern except in the future [TS]

  mm okay with killing people see very [TS]

  easy amounts of free around about design [TS]

  just slightly out of reach justify which [TS]

  i think is actually what Design Within [TS]

  Reach is my goodness without it for me [TS]

  places costly it's costly but if you [TS]

  took if you took that laminated a [TS]

  plywood aesthetic of mid-century modern [TS]

  design but you made it into a super [TS]

  motorcycle you get a little bubbly would [TS]

  car the campus over be like weevil [TS]

  because we both crossed with that with a [TS]

  light cycle or a with Brazil car [TS]

  it can't fall over right you know [TS]

  whatever you can fit in your lap you get [TS]

  to ride and it becomes self-driving oh [TS]

  brother [TS]

  because I feel like a lot of the cars [TS]

  that we have now are actually designed [TS]

  after the car in the Woody Allen movie [TS]

  sleeper which even then was a chin see [TS]

  car it's like the car it's like the car [TS]

  in the tom petty video where they're out [TS]

  in the desert and they find a video game [TS]

  parlor sure remember that car and both [TS]

  of those cars it just seems like they [TS]

  built some thing out of like they [TS]

  recycled some tin foil and put it over [TS]

  books wagon bug you know that's not the [TS]

  future that's not the future future is [TS]

  mid-century modern motorcycle i'm [TS]

  looking at the the Express Isetta oh [TS]

  yeah which i think is that is the [TS]

  jonathan pryce Brazil car and only this [TS]

  it's what really its got like a door in [TS]

  the front that opens like where you [TS]

  would think we expect is google is he [TS]

  showed the Senate is a little BMW from [TS]

  it was actually a pain it was actually [TS]

  the first smart car kind of it looks [TS]

  cool i'm it's not much bigger than like [TS]

  a one of the scooters from like [TS]

  Quadrophenia well and I think that the [TS]

  idea of the of the Isetta was that it [TS]

  was a1 a2 cylinder motor it was like a [TS]

  motorcycle and its really little bit but [TS]

  the thing is not what I'm not getting a [TS]

  constant so cool [TS]

  I preachers the brazil car you open it [TS]

  got a little like you look at the front [TS]

  of the car with the windshield with the [TS]

  single windshield wiper on it you know [TS]

  like where you'd expect like the hood to [TS]

  be on a car it's got a latch you open [TS]

  that that's how you get in the car [TS]

  yeah I was breaking news when you came [TS]

  here in the GMC RV and only had one door [TS]

  really disoriented me [TS]

  some reason because now all you need is [TS]

  one door you remember the the Chevy [TS]

  Suburbans until nineteen seventy-two had [TS]

  three Doors a driver's door passenger [TS]

  door and then one door for the second [TS]

  row seats that was that seems very smart [TS]

  in its way [TS]

  so you pull up to the curb if you're in [TS]

  the backseat you're not gonna get off on [TS]

  this you're gonna get out on the streets [TS]

  they say whatever little kids said they [TS]

  slide Clyde Clyde Clyde client so the [TS]

  British armored steel it's like lot [TS]

  never have a move over over you're [TS]

  saying that i have said move over room I [TS]

  said that to my daughter about the 16 [TS]

  times a day when she sits on my area my [TS]

  area of the couch that i bought icy [TS]

  River mr. seen slide Clyde I'm gonna say [TS]

  move over over whenever someone is on my [TS]

  side of the bed because i have a clear [TS]

  side of the bed don't get myself it's [TS]

  not complicated [TS]

  you know what I mean I complicated you [TS]

  walked into my room you know what side [TS]

  of the bed isn't babies understand half [TS]

  that's right if we're in a hotel [TS]

  yeah you should want change anything [TS]

  doesn't get a half is still have this is [TS]

  your side of the day this is my side [TS]

  yeah but everybody seems to feel like [TS]

  that they need to be over on my side [TS]

  like no no no nearside it on your side [TS]

  that's why it's called your side [TS]

  that's right exactly it's right in the [TS]

  middle name the my side has my name in [TS]

  it that's me I'm is me I I me and in the [TS]

  middle of you what's called your side we [TS]

  were side explains everything in this [TS]

  one very simple phrase it's your insides [TS]

  the side of the bed that is for you're [TS]

  in the middle of the night don't get [TS]

  your feet on my side even 10 can see [TS]

  that still that's yours that's John side [TS]

  of the bed the feet go on your side [TS]

  because let's feed those are your feet [TS]

  feet i'm gonna start saying move over [TS]

  over over over over and let Jimmy take [TS]

  over where slide Clyde I let me ask you [TS]

  this [TS]

  yes did you do you remember learning the [TS]

  word nautical [TS]

  nautical I'm gonna do I don't remember [TS]

  specifically learning it i remember its [TS]

  seeming old-timey and kind of Jules [TS]

  Verne when I first heard it right but [TS]

  not a goal to me nautical is not I don't [TS]

  think of like a destroyer I think about [TS]

  a ship it's got a sextant you get one of [TS]

  those big companies whatever those are [TS]

  yeah I could be a steam ship but it's [TS]

  but it's still not gonna take captain's [TS]

  wheel you got you get rigging that gets [TS]

  climbed you might have a brig but [TS]

  nautical also is a use a science science [TS]

  scientific room with you go and we have [TS]

  charts and things and that's those are [TS]

  all nautical things right but I think [TS]

  you probably heard and understood the [TS]

  word nautical before even making those [TS]

  associations probably as just something [TS]

  that had to do with the sea like that [TS]

  the nautical themed bar and some nights [TS]

  not right serve water uh when did you [TS]

  and I think i'm not i'm not even going [TS]

  to have to phrase this in terms of a [TS]

  quiz because I've already have the [TS]

  answer for you yes but i think the word [TS]

  bovine is simple right you don't [TS]

  remember learning the word bovine no I [TS]

  remember seeing funny from the beginning [TS]

  it's pretty funny but like bovine also [TS]

  is the thing that that it's not there's [TS]

  not a reason to use it [TS]

  no one ever says bovina that's one of [TS]

  the special words you just used to be [TS]

  cute or funny or smart [TS]

  yeah but it's a thing that you know [TS]

  because you've read some do you read [TS]

  some article or some description or [TS]

  someone has their it has come up even [TS]

  though bovine has no there's nothing in [TS]

  the word to see its distinction that [TS]

  most people in cities today don't need [TS]

  to make do with the regular version or [TS]

  the bowline version right it's what we [TS]

  antibiotic of whatever like when you [TS]

  have the need to use the word you just [TS]

  go cow stuff [TS]

  yeah but you would you count stuff right [TS]

  unless you were reading an article about [TS]

  about block bovines or blow vines food [TS]

  um but yeah so I'm compartment i'm [TS]

  working on this theory of language that [TS]

  and that's connected to a theory of [TS]

  education that there's there's a certain [TS]

  uh there's a certain vocabulary that [TS]

  you're never going to if you have one of [TS]

  those vocabulary calendars where every [TS]

  day there's an [TS]

  new word yeah and you rip off the top of [TS]

  the thing it's like today's word is bond [TS]

  vine if you don't already know what [TS]

  bovine is that you learned at some point [TS]

  who threw from your parents or something [TS]

  your bovine is not a word that you're [TS]

  going to learn from a free minute of [TS]

  vocabulary desk calendar and if they [TS]

  talk about it in school they're like [TS]

  today's word is bond Viner like here are [TS]

  some years ten words you need to [TS]

  memorize for the vocabulary test don't [TS]

  really like a GRE word no no it's not [TS]

  going to stick right like I think about [TS]

  like words that I remember learning for [TS]

  the GRE like lachrymose lachrymose right [TS]

  there's all these words you just learn [TS]

  for the GRE or words that you have read [TS]

  or heard in your own kind of family or [TS]

  your own early education right lacrimosa [TS]

  is a word that by the time you've read [TS]

  it 15 times you're like alright what the [TS]

  fuck does that mean you go look it up in [TS]

  the dictionary [TS]

  yeah but you don't it's not a word [TS]

  that's going to stick if it's educated [TS]

  on to you [TS]

  uh-huh and this is the this is one of [TS]

  the problems I think of one of a one of [TS]

  the problems with a theory of education [TS]

  that like where there are there are [TS]

  there imbalances in schools that we need [TS]

  to redress and we need to do that [TS]

  through vocabulary tests and so forth [TS]

  where there's just this weird there's [TS]

  this vocabulary in within the language [TS]

  with these words nautical bovine and I [TS]

  wouldn't put lacrimosa in there but like [TS]

  just words that you just know what you [TS]

  just know what they mean where there's [TS]

  no it's not like aeronautical that you [TS]

  can that you can say like oh it has the [TS]

  word air in it aeronautical is a good [TS]

  word [TS]

  yeah it might be but you know it's not a [TS]

  cold plus air its aeronautical even [TS]

  though air is felt differently right but [TS]

  it's not a thing you could triangulate [TS]

  to but you just know and then that [TS]

  that's that's the that kind of that [TS]

  substrata of knowledge is a thing I [TS]

  don't know how you would educate into [TS]

  someone it's like a it's like an [TS]

  advantage that certain kids have going [TS]

  into school who that they're just bathed [TS]

  in a [TS]

  already a language that's inaccessible [TS]

  and it's not one that's it's not one [TS]

  that's maybe meant to communicate class [TS]

  it's just a it's just that it's so it's [TS]

  a vocabulary of people that that use [TS]

  words and no word i'm not sure if I'm [TS]

  getting your exact point but i think i [TS]

  feel i think that i think i feel a thing [TS]

  that I think is related and which is [TS]

  this [TS]

  so you've got things like vocabulary [TS]

  look for example if you're learning [TS]

  spanish you have your local area where [TS]

  you've got right some spanish words [TS]

  that's you know you want to learn what a [TS]

  senhora and biblioteca all the things in [TS]

  autocross yeah and my all-time favorite [TS]

  a mana kiya monkey i love to see a [TS]

  monkey but anyway that makes sense [TS]

  because you have a you have a marker [TS]

  here is what I'm gonna start saying when [TS]

  somebody gets their feet on my side of [TS]

  the monarchy gii your butter and so [TS]

  here's the thing though so that makes [TS]

  sense if you have a primary language [TS]

  Anarchy's Muslims English then you're [TS]

  gonna say okay and undergo would learn [TS]

  all of these not cognates but need to [TS]

  learn the words for things that can [TS]

  mentally say when I want to say library [TS]

  i know i have to say bibliothèque and I [TS]

  learned all those words as I'm kind of [TS]

  working my way through the difficult [TS]

  process of like you know a spoonful at a [TS]

  time trying to learn this language [TS]

  you're not standing on the street in in [TS]

  Mexico City going libreria daughter a [TS]

  library Oh librarian but here's the [TS]

  thing and this is not very smart but [TS]

  it's just the thing you know the way my [TS]

  kids learning math is very different [TS]

  from the way that I learned math or also [TS]

  arithmetic and we can all time to go too [TS]

  deeply into it but it's it's a very [TS]

  different way I grew up likely doing [TS]

  math the hard way for no good reason and [TS]

  like just memorizing lots of stuff and [TS]

  there's the way that she's learning that [TS]

  is a lot is a lot smarter and a lot more [TS]

  integrated with how life works and she's [TS]

  learning things in a way that will make [TS]

  things like algebra much less weird to [TS]

  learn her new math is treason our new [TS]

  math is trees and nice hey goodbye love [TS]

  that bag okay i think i'm not done his [TS]

  thing about vocabulary here's the [TS]

  problem you go out and buy yourself a [TS]

  word-a-day calendar and like you can [TS]

  make yourself sound a little bit fancy [TS]

  because you could say things like that [TS]

  really made me lachrymose and like but [TS]

  the thing is that strap on education is [TS]

  the process and here's the thing i'm not [TS]

  on sounds really condescending I don't [TS]

  mean it to be it's just that you learn [TS]

  enough about how to suss out word what [TS]

  word is or where to look it up and went [TS]

  to deploy it correctly you will learn [TS]

  things like in the case of people like [TS]

  me who are annoying but there's a [TS]

  difference between costly and expensive [TS]

  they mean different things saying the [TS]

  one you mean [TS]

  hello if you read enough stuff you can [TS]

  learn the words mean things and [TS]

  different words mean different things [TS]

  and when you read and read and read and [TS]

  read and you think they can talk and [TS]

  read and read and read a little talk a [TS]

  little [TS]

  you're gonna get good at that the [TS]

  problem is strapped on education is this [TS]

  way of saying like gap but if you [TS]

  haven't had all with that their lives [TS]

  the privilege to benefit of that you can [TS]

  kind of snuck a fake you can simulate [TS]

  see again words you can simulate that [TS]

  emulates duel with me la calendar [TS]

  simulating simulacrum my own milady the [TS]

  ground the titles of books you almost [TS]

  finished my lady friend went to law [TS]

  school and learn learned school she was [TS]

  very successful in school and she [TS]

  learned how to be in school i'm saying i [TS]

  learned it so you can be teaches you [TS]

  that [TS]

  yeah like and the thing is about blurts [TS]

  is learning how to go to school learning [TS]

  how to speak in school and go to school [TS]

  and I learned how to be in school on my [TS]

  own right where I was like I need to [TS]

  learn how to be in school here's what I [TS]

  think being in school is and everybody [TS]

  was like nope nope that's not what being [TS]

  in school is and I said too late i [TS]

  learned how to be in school already buy [TS]

  my own device [TS]

  yep but she learned how to be in school [TS]

  correctly and part of being in school [TS]

  for her meant to read a certain way and [TS]

  that reading was to read to to see you [TS]

  know to skim the education out of the [TS]

  book and it seems you once you know it [TS]

  seems like cheating [TS]

  well yeah because here's what you did [TS]

  you look at the book you read the back [TS]

  of the book you read the flap of the [TS]

  book you read the table of contents you [TS]

  go through the index you see how [TS]

  detailed is the index order the parts [TS]

  that are in bold and you find the parts [TS]

  in the book that you definitely know in [TS]

  the parts you don't know and you get a [TS]

  shape of the education [TS]

  for you read a fucking word right and [TS]

  then you go through and you're like [TS]

  chapter headings you skim through you [TS]

  find halfway through the paragraph that [TS]

  basically that the whole chapter hinges [TS]

  upon it's the it's the fulcrum of the [TS]

  chapter you can give it a Terry Gross [TS]

  where you read you read the first two [TS]

  chapters and then read the beginning and [TS]

  end of every other chapter and if you [TS]

  need to go back and read the whole thing [TS]

  but spoiler alert i mean that's the way [TS]

  to get through a lot of material that it [TS]

  doesn't have to be the favorite book [TS]

  you've ever read a lawyer thinks well [TS]

  and this is this is one of the [TS]

  interesting things as we try and find a [TS]

  common language which is that I said [TS]

  well here a couple of novels that meant [TS]

  something to me and shredded she [TS]

  recommended day how did you or did you [TS]

  do a Merlin she was the first 20 seconds [TS]

  whoa there's no way you read the heart [TS]

  is a lonely hunter in a day and you [TS]

  is a lonely hunter in a day and you [TS]

  like totally and I realized like oh [TS]

  there was a whole different relationship [TS]

  to reading happening here that was and [TS]

  both of us come from privileged places [TS]

  where you know where you expect to go to [TS]

  a good college and you end up in a world [TS]

  of a of whatever thinking people but the [TS]

  relationship and I have spent many many [TS]

  many hours reading a reading like [TS]

  literary theory books as though they [TS]

  were novels where I'm like reading every [TS]

  word and and try trying to find a [TS]

  fucking plot in that whole discipline [TS]

  her and just like I'm you know I'm in [TS]

  this stew of words [TS]

  eighty-five percent of them are made up [TS]

  for in that context completely made up [TS]

  like that's not a word that you can use [TS]

  that way but okay I'm with you I'm with [TS]

  you or I think i'm with you and so so [TS]

  much of the books so many of the books [TS]

  that I was exposed to i read incorrectly [TS]

  I should've just been reading the table [TS]

  of contents and scattering the first two [TS]

  chapters and and throw the book in a [TS]

  pyre but like like even trying to find a [TS]

  philosophy of reading that's that is [TS]

  common even with people that share your [TS]

  sort of social and class strata it's [TS]

  very interesting to find these other [TS]

  styles and just to say like oh shit in [TS]

  it in reading this not in me trying to [TS]

  expose you to this novel and and get you [TS]

  to treasure it [TS]

  we have to go back a little bit and [TS]

  start with a whole new you know like [TS]

  learn to read a different way and that's [TS]

  a that's a thing that that when you're [TS]

  talking about a theory of Education [TS]

  you're talking about like we need to [TS]

  reform the school's how what in what [TS]

  like what are you T how are you teaching [TS]

  them to read and I don't mean like a [TS]

  like stringing the words together but [TS]

  like what is their style of reading [TS]

  uh-huh and like him it's caused me to [TS]

  reflect on my own style of reading and [TS]

  it's why i can't subscribe to The New [TS]

  York Times right it takes me it takes me [TS]

  six hours to read the New York Times and [TS]

  it doesn't take everyone else six hours [TS]

  so i guess like the mail that's my wife [TS]

  Madeline my wife she she reads so fast [TS]

  and and i've tested her [TS]

  I've jobs like if you really like i said [TS]

  the thing is what you got to read this [TS]

  thing about breakfast it's this screen [TS]

  cap that's 33 pages of screencap from [TS]

  facebook comments like it's pretty good [TS]

  this kind of fucking thought-provoking [TS]

  thing about article 25 you should look [TS]

  at this and it was like it was like this [TS]

  one two three [TS]

  yeah it was interesting all right I get [TS]

  the idea let's let's let's put a little [TS]

  funny game called us placate merlino [TS]

  that you actually read that she's like [TS]

  AI was really good and she doesn't [TS]

  belong that she was being glib but she [TS]

  actually can read that fast and [TS]

  comprehend it [TS]

  yeah my reading is more like this bump [TS]

  bone bone bone but i consider myself a [TS]

  not stupid person but my reading is [TS]

  ridiculously so so in terms of your I [TS]

  much of this has to do with our fits and [TS]

  that's don't talk about morris dancing [TS]

  how how how does this relate to your [TS]

  theory of education and education [TS]

  well you know I had that the for a long [TS]

  time right we've been trying to get to [TS]

  get a similar Education a fair and [TS]

  comparable education to the widest [TS]

  number of students possible you don't [TS]

  want to have a situation where there's [TS]

  inequitable access to to education so [TS]

  that the kids in the rich schools get a [TS]

  great education and the kids in the poor [TS]

  schools get shitty education sure and [TS]

  within that theory of Education there's [TS]

  a lot of understanding that by the time [TS]

  a kid gets to school they're already on [TS]

  a path and in some cases are are like [TS]

  operatory able to digest are able to [TS]

  that they already have a better [TS]

  education just coming from home so with [TS]

  a theory of education then extends to a [TS]

  social theory of how do we get how do we [TS]

  get that education in that preparation [TS]

  for education who in kids before they [TS]

  ever darken the doors and not to go to [TS]

  the obvious bit but also in the face of [TS]

  needing to teach the test which I love [TS]

  so much thing now and that's a new thing [TS]

  right that since the [TS]

  Bush administration like it's not [TS]

  there's not there's not a whole lot of [TS]

  extra time at the end of the day to go [TS]

  back and learn anything because yeah [TS]

  there's there's a lot of a lot of tests [TS]

  up that becomes very important how that [TS]

  school gets money and stuff like that [TS]

  yeah and the tests are all that there's [TS]

  a lot of prejudice within the test of [TS]

  just like and and and the idea of that I [TS]

  that's a fairly new idea where [TS]

  african-american students don't ask [TS]

  rhetorical questions because rhetorical [TS]

  questions are not part of the language [TS]

  of the african-american community [TS]

  well yeah so they come in two different [TS]

  thing [TS]

  yeah we come into schools and their [TS]

  white teacher will say so uh what is [TS]

  what is another orange what is an orange [TS]

  and the black kids will be like one [TS]

  that's a fucking orange and the white [TS]

  kids are like is it a fruit and the [TS]

  teacher go exactly it's a fruit so we [TS]

  know that and oranges of fruit right and [TS]

  they that there's this sort of pedantry [TS]

  that that is where they where the the [TS]

  rhetorical question is a way of setting [TS]

  up a kind of like here's the metaphor [TS]

  we're going to use on oranges and fruit [TS]

  right so therefore all fruit are black [TS]

  or you know what I mean like there's a [TS]

  kind of there's a language of rhetoric [TS]

  scizzum in the White style of Education [TS]

  and black students go [TS]

  this is a this is a stupid question huh [TS]

  and so right away there's a language [TS]

  Gulf that has nothing to do with the you [TS]

  know obviously everybody understands [TS]

  what an orange is it is that had this is [TS]

  a problem related to how we teach or how [TS]

  kids learn [TS]

  yeah right well it so it like that he [TS]

  said it said that's camera typically [TS]

  exactly what it is is that there are all [TS]

  these prejudices the way upstream in [TS]

  terms of the way teachers just talk [TS]

  right the way they even approach [TS]

  subjects [TS]

  huh that puts certain students at a [TS]

  disadvantage before you know and and [TS]

  makes them to the teacher seem dumb or [TS]

  disengaged they get out they get a dark [TS]

  mark from previous because they're like [TS]

  huh [TS]

  that is stupid question and the teachers [TS]

  like no no you're not getting it [TS]

  they're like no I get it you're asking [TS]

  stupid obvious questions about my spot [TS]

  where you know like where's my point of [TS]

  engagement yeah sure [TS]

  so so all of that you know as we as we [TS]

  realize that stuff and understand that [TS]

  we're trying to modify how we do but it [TS]

  has it happens so far back that there's [TS]

  no way other you know other than having [TS]

  the schools and and you know having [TS]

  schools be this this overarching agency [TS]

  that's actually in people's homes you [TS]

  know that you can't it's hard to Taylor [TS]

  and I a system of education that serves [TS]

  everybody and how do you that an edit [TS]

  that the testing thing notwithstanding [TS]

  like I feel like I feel like good [TS]

  judging a school system on how well [TS]

  students do on tests is just endtime [TS]

  shit and it's the opposite of Education [TS]

  and drives me bananas [TS]

  maybe I agree it's teaching maybe it is [TS]

  teaching kids to be good at law school [TS]

  but I feel like we don't need that many [TS]

  lawyers we need fewer lawyers and more [TS]

  book readers we have plenty of lawyers [TS]

  in other words but i love i love lawyers [TS]

  don't get me wrong yeah but i mean i [TS]

  would say more like maybe monitors maybe [TS]

  more like doctors maybe that's what [TS]

  we're trying to make with all this [TS]

  testing but now with a lawyer like part [TS]

  of being it seems to me that part of [TS]

  being a lawyer and there's a reason I [TS]

  suppose that so many of my friends from [TS]

  fancy liberal arts school became [TS]

  attorneys and it wasn't just because of [TS]

  their love of the law or the desire to [TS]

  be a judge or you know if the full of [TS]

  the time for most people giving up and [TS]

  becoming a teacher of law but that [TS]

  happened really quickly in some cases [TS]

  but no it's because there was something [TS]

  very attractive about law school to [TS]

  people who would read a lot and fought a [TS]

  lot and work independently and had to [TS]

  figure out relatively impossible amount [TS]

  of work [TS]

  alright period of time so if it was like [TS]

  tingling like me with systemic [TS]

  I've sixteen hundred pages of reading [TS]

  this week I better get started and make [TS]

  coffee doesn't hurt but there's another [TS]

  way of saying like how do we feel like [TS]

  hack on this to figure out okay what is [TS]

  the one and i'm not even any good at [TS]

  this I'm not a lawyer but like there's a [TS]

  certain kind of thinking you have to do [TS]

  to go like how do i find the like twenty [TS]

  percent of this that is going to be [TS]

  hugely important to getting the most [TS]

  important part of this done right so as [TS]

  a lawyer you might go into a case it [TS]

  seems to me and say like like if I treat [TS]

  every datum in this news many many [TS]

  positive banker boxes factory all of [TS]

  these data as equally important time I'm [TS]

  gonna be screwed [TS]

  I'm gonna have to find some way to [TS]

  quickly almost like a like a sorting [TS]

  algorithm i'm going to find some way to [TS]

  to get the gist of a bunch of this [TS]

  fairly quickly write like well I think [TS]

  about my daughter you know the trick [TS]

  about the estimating where you take a [TS]

  big pile of stuff you break it into n [TS]

  divisions of Latino that look equivalent [TS]

  you know this old trick right you can [TS]

  take all of your change for example [TS]

  their websites that can help you do this [TS]

  but we could weigh your change basically [TS]

  find out how much it's worth [TS]

  but if you take a giant amount of your [TS]

  change breaking into your hand range its [TS]

  to it works astonishingly well that's [TS]

  one of my favorite bad company songs you [TS]

  know about this you go and you take a [TS]

  bunch of your change and you grab a [TS]

  certain amount of it and you come up but [TS]

  no however much arbitrarily you say like [TS]

  okay in this two fists worth there are [TS]

  as many quarters this many times this [TS]

  mean because this many pennies and then [TS]

  you weigh how much is in the jar and [TS]

  it's astonishingly close [TS]

  really yeah because you're taking this [TS]

  random sampling of your of your own it's [TS]

  not perfect but like even if you're [TS]

  getting like one percent of the change [TS]

  that's in there if it's a difference [TS]

  affair sampling you're not just [TS]

  cherry-picking quarters [TS]

  yeah it is astonishingly good so what [TS]

  she's learned that trick so that's okay [TS]

  here's the thing and you sleep anymore [TS]

  penny ha'penny I think you know anybody [TS]

  that says penny I don't know i'll find [TS]

  out but that elements are going with [TS]

  this article that this is an amazingly [TS]

  useful skill like that i don't remember [TS]

  learning things like this of like you [TS]

  know what if you want to figure out how [TS]

  many are in this set you know anybody [TS]

  can figure out half of something [TS]

  visually like half roughly half now half [TS]

  of that have that have etc center count [TS]

  how many are in that amount and then x [TS]

  how many [TS]

  miles there are and it's gonna be close [TS]

  enough most of the time that perfect no [TS]

  because this morally general way that [TS]

  we're taught to do is you count every [TS]

  fucking one because an American School [TS]

  we're gonna get this right memorize [TS]

  memorize memorize instead of going like [TS]

  here's an estimation that's going to get [TS]

  you most of the way there in like a [TS]

  twentieth of the time so this is how it [TS]

  is how to do and that's what our should [TS]

  read a table right when you when you sit [TS]

  down and you're trying to read Hagel and [TS]

  you're like here I go I'm reading Hagel [TS]

  and you're in you're in the you know [TS]

  you're in the first two chapters and [TS]

  it's one of those like read four [TS]

  sentences go back and read the first [TS]

  sentence again type of thing [TS]

  normal beyond really you should just be [TS]

  approaching like like his law school [TS]

  students can read sixteen hundred pages [TS]

  and four and a half hours and you know [TS]

  and i'm still on page 150 going like now [TS]

  wait a minute let me go back to the [TS]

  dictionary and you can i find myself [TS]

  doubting myself it's just even i was [TS]

  reading a very accessible very good book [TS]

  about language yesterday and even [TS]

  because i was with my family the beach i [TS]

  would still have to keep going back and [TS]

  going like I think I just missed I kept [TS]

  feeling like I miss something [TS]

  yeah because if you don't read it [TS]

  straight through you gotta go back you [TS]

  gotta go back right and i and and and [TS]

  what that effectively did in certain [TS]

  ways was it like my feeling that to read [TS]

  a book half acidly left me with a [TS]

  dissatisfied feeling that I had not read [TS]

  every word in that book and understood [TS]

  it and therefore I in some ways had done [TS]

  it was worse to have read that book half [TS]

  acidly then to not have even read the [TS]

  book like I did by reading that book [TS]

  poorly i did the book a disservice and [TS]

  so to honor the book i will not even [TS]

  begin to read it and that was a weird [TS]

  that's a weird relationship to reading [TS]

  and I have you know I have I have [TS]

  friends that have read like volumes and [TS]

  volumes and volumes and from where I'm [TS]

  coming from they read it half acidly [TS]

  they never had that moment where they [TS]

  put the book down and went oh god that [TS]

  was beautiful writer they like reading [TS]

  through a chapter they're just like oh [TS]

  my god [TS]

  that was the most beautiful thing I've [TS]

  ever read their missing that they have [TS]

  let me think about it think about the [TS]

  way I have a friend is a read scripts at [TS]

  Lucasfilm and you know anybody reads [TS]

  film's producer you think about that [TS]

  scene in the producers you know where [TS]

  they're going through all the different [TS]

  scripts to find the terrible one but [TS]

  like she knows and quarters talk about [TS]

  this she like she knows within like 25 [TS]

  pages pretty much like what this is [TS]

  something she needs to keep reading [TS]

  because she's got so many scripts treat [TS]

  she can't stop and sit and cry about the [TS]

  beauty of the plot of every one of them [TS]

  she's going to do you think about being [TS]

  a book editor in New York City we [TS]

  imagine that stacks and stacks and [TS]

  stacks it's like you can't be reading [TS]

  these books you got to develop some kind [TS]

  of a hero sting a set of heuristics for [TS]

  figuring out when something is worth [TS]

  spending your time on and then quickly [TS]

  sussing out how much time before you [TS]

  reassess how much time you should spend [TS]

  I mean not to bring this back to karl [TS]

  rove button [TS]

  I mean how many how many pages of a guy [TS]

  recounting basically minute-by-minute [TS]

  what his boring childhood was was like [TS]

  how many of those how much but you know [TS]

  but to put the book down and say I can't [TS]

  keep doing this as opposed to just [TS]

  accelerating your pace and we like [TS]

  uh-huh can get through this category [TS]

  this glitter this slip right left right [TS]

  right still talking about that time in [TS]

  the kitchen where his dad wouldn't look [TS]

  at him [TS]

  flip flip flip right depends on what [TS]

  you're there for I mean that you get the [TS]

  same could be said I guess of like any [TS]

  warhol movie where you go into it [TS]

  knowing that it's going to be many many [TS]

  hours long and then seemingly [TS]

  deliberately boring and so that you can [TS]

  either be there for that experience or [TS]

  you can get super frustrated about how [TS]

  dumb it is well and like the cremaster [TS]

  cycle huh are you if are you watching [TS]

  I'm not reading that for plot watching [TS]

  that for plot but if you're watching it [TS]

  and also looking at your phone and also [TS]

  i'm getting with your friend are you [TS]

  watching you [TS]

  I know I know I go through this with my [TS]

  lady friend because when i'm watching [TS]

  something really good especially if it's [TS]

  got dragons and shit [TS]

  I put everything down I put everything [TS]

  down and I watching and with it's one of [TS]

  those like if it's looking like a [TS]

  generosity anything like that where it [TS]

  quits an immersive potentially [TS]

  disturbing experience you know there's [TS]

  going to be little things that are cute [TS]

  you have a sport I'm trying to write [TS]

  something here which is to say that like [TS]

  I think one problem with us as we get [TS]

  older as you rely more heavily on [TS]

  heuristics shortcuts eventually clichés [TS]

  which can of course take you all the way [TS]

  down to like stabbing people in [TS]

  Sacramento because that's how you roll [TS]

  you don't want to get too caught up in [TS]

  your guesses your fast guess about what [TS]

  something is [TS]

  and yet I think there's other kinds of [TS]

  heuristics that we don't think about [TS]

  actively I know I don't think about [TS]

  actively enough and it's something you [TS]

  know and how do you judge this you think [TS]

  about something like a line like well [TS]

  you know I don't have to eat a pound of [TS]

  dirt to know I don't want to eat dirt [TS]

  like the kind of thing you would say [TS]

  about in politics like oh well use right [TS]

  this person off like this is kind of the [TS]

  characteristics that can be very [TS]

  dismissive but like for example like if [TS]

  you walk into you walk into a thrift [TS]

  store [TS]

  Eric I bet you've got an unconscious or [TS]

  even conscious set of heuristics very [TS]

  common for how much time to spend before [TS]

  you realize and recheck how much time to [TS]

  spend you would never go i'm gonna look [TS]

  at every item in this entire store i [TS]

  could put it on I could put in a [TS]

  worksheet it could be one page long and [TS]

  now there could be a quiz give me a [TS]

  couple like it doesn't start outside [TS]

  what how how do you at what begins the [TS]

  process of going [TS]

  yeah warm or cold like this you mean [TS]

  this is not me for me you walk in you're [TS]

  already moving fast right you don't [TS]

  stand in the doorway of a thrift store [TS]

  and look around like a dummy your you [TS]

  come in your moving fast you know that [TS]

  if there if this particular thrift store [TS]

  has already cherry-picked what they [TS]

  think is the nice stuff which they're [TS]

  usually wrong about but if they've [TS]

  already cherry-picked to a certain [TS]

  extent and put over in their little [TS]

  boutique area never thought of that [TS]

  before that's so awful but it's true the [TS]

  stuff that's been chosen as a high-value [TS]

  fashion stuff that people who work [TS]

  exactly right this is a person you need [TS]

  to know that people in the back of a [TS]

  thrift store do not understand what is [TS]

  good but sometimes it's like weighing [TS]

  your change sometimes they get it just [TS]

  right enough that you can't you can't [TS]

  blow past that thing and say no things [TS]

  you do have to go through it right right [TS]

  up but you can go through it pretty [TS]

  quickly I was standing in the thrift [TS]

  store one time listening to the little [TS]

  old ladies in the back [TS]

  room who were sorting stuff and one of [TS]

  them pulled out a 2 or t-shirt from like [TS]

  a late seventies journey to her [TS]

  oh my god was it was a baseball shirt [TS]

  it was the a fucking baseball shirt I [TS]

  just feel for that it was battered you [TS]

  know this shirt was was battered but [TS]

  still intact and still beautiful i'm [TS]

  still looking for a van Halen was it 79 [TS]

  invasion sharp i'm still looking for one [TS]

  of those right so that shirt on Melrose [TS]

  is where 250 dollars and in San [TS]

  Francisco it's worth a hundred and fifty [TS]

  dollars and on ebay it's probably worth [TS]

  ninety dollars and this little old lady [TS]

  is like well what do you think Marge [TS]

  this is that you think that this is [TS]

  still wearable and Marge looks and goes [TS]

  now it's pretty worn out [TS]

  yeah and i watch her toss it into a bin [TS]

  which been I'm sure is headed to either [TS]

  of fabric recycle become death Mets a [TS]

  bath mats or it's gonna go to the [TS]

  Ukraine right there's a there's a whole [TS]

  there's a whole thing and member Ukraine [TS]

  I said the Ukraine I'm sorry it again he [TS]

  started writing on out to use this it's [TS]

  going to maybe it's and I know that [TS]

  whoever is mad at me about saying value [TS]

  crane is also going to be mad at the [TS]

  suggestion that old t-shirts are being [TS]

  delivered so long as you don't get some [TS]

  kids gonna be a don't stop believin he's [TS]

  gonna be so happy [TS]

  that's right but and I think maybe it [TS]

  ends up in a in Transylvania let's say [TS]

  Transylvania because I've never gotten [TS]

  angry from anyone in Transylvania at [TS]

  work instinct was going to retire but [TS]

  I'm looking at it i'm looking at this [TS]

  thing go into this bin and i'm thinking [TS]

  i am not someone who's gonna get that [TS]

  journey t-shirt and sell it on ebay i'm [TS]

  just not and I don't care enough about [TS]

  it and vaya con Dios dirty shirt like [TS]

  you blew it but I'm also thinking these [TS]

  ladies throw Otis so there's a heuristic [TS]

  for you is that there is a chance that [TS]

  there is some some pros among the [TS]

  oysters here [TS]

  it happens every day ok but when I walk [TS]

  into the store I go through their [TS]

  boutique really fast and you know my my [TS]

  number-one heuristic is if you don't [TS]

  like the fabric of the thing doesn't [TS]

  matter if it's oh don't let your time [TS]

  right [TS]

  if you're walking through the thing and [TS]

  you're like does this fit does this fit [TS]

  does this fit your that's your [TS]

  screwed-up you what you do is you run [TS]

  your you kind of walk down the aisle you [TS]

  run your fingers along at the size area [TS]

  so you say long sleeve shirts in your [TS]

  lungs no no no because for those people [TS]

  in the back room don't know what sizes [TS]

  are either they just don't been [TS]

  particularly because a lot of shirts [TS]

  that are nice are in european style [TS]

  sizes and they're like 46 I guess that [TS]

  means it's the same as a 14 maybe they [TS]

  put the decimal point the wrong place [TS]

  you know stuff is everywhere all the [TS]

  time sometimes i go over and look in the [TS]

  extra-large women's stuff because they [TS]

  look at a blazer that's an unusual color [TS]

  and they go [TS]

  this must be a girl's blazer and they [TS]

  put in extra large womens so so we heard [TS]

  it's it's just if you have to imagine it [TS]

  just gets the gynecology color crystal [TS]

  and the granularity of your lens like [TS]

  how you see the world [TS]

  yeah so I represent an entirely [TS]

  different results a bit of of other [TS]

  people's old shit arrives in the back [TS]

  room of a thrift store and the people [TS]

  who have either anointed themselves or [TS]

  been transferred over into the sorter [TS]

  gang are just going through there with [TS]

  whatever their education is about [TS]

  clothes and about stuff and they're like [TS]

  this goes here this goes there and [TS]

  they're often wrong so you just run your [TS]

  fingers over everything until you see [TS]

  something that jumps out at us like [TS]

  that's nice and then then you you take [TS]

  extra time with that you say this is [TS]

  gonna fit do I like this do I like the [TS]

  style and it's very different if you are [TS]

  looking for a black suit to go to a [TS]

  funeral because there's a lot of black [TS]

  suits and you have to kind of like okay [TS]

  I'm just confining myself to it was [TS]

  confined myself to these blacks but for [TS]

  me I can walk through there really fast [TS]

  just like nope nope nope nope nope i [TS]

  know that i'm not going to go through [TS]

  the every button down shirt in the store [TS]

  looking for the one that jumps out at me [TS]

  because I can just go i can i can go [TS]

  almost at a walking pace with with my [TS]

  middle finger just [TS]

  raising over everything uh-huh looking [TS]

  for the moment that I hit something [TS]

  that's like that feels good or that [TS]

  fabrics unusual or you know and then [TS]

  they're almost just as quickly you can [TS]

  pull the thing out [TS]

  look at it and say is that gonna fit me [TS]

  yea or nay uh-huh [TS]

  I then the upu look at you go neigh and [TS]

  if you look at the tag only you will be [TS]

  wrong about a third of the time because [TS]

  the tags going to say medium and then [TS]

  you look at the shirt you're like this [TS]

  is not a medium clearly it's not a [TS]

  medium it's bigger than all of its [TS]

  neighbors you know like it's a it is a [TS]

  mistake the sizes sizes even on garments [TS]

  you pick up brand-new really feel like [TS]

  there are two standard deviations [TS]

  it's like I got a sweater not longer [TS]

  that's a large that after one washing [TS]

  feel smaller than a medium uh there's [TS]

  not much to really bank on except your [TS]

  ability to let go pick it up and try [TS]

  yourself [TS]

  yeah that's right so I hid all that [TS]

  stuff right i barely look at pants [TS]

  because really a man needs three pairs [TS]

  of pants and I don't need to go through [TS]

  a store where some other guys pants but [TS]

  I do go through the shoes and again it's [TS]

  a thing where the store is full of [TS]

  square-toed shoes because square-toed [TS]

  shoes are from the nineties or from the [TS]

  two thousands or something and you don't [TS]

  want to pair square-toed shoes if you [TS]

  have a pair of square-toed shoes that [TS]

  you bought back then that you're still [TS]

  wearing that's great you're still [TS]

  wearing the shoes that you bought them [TS]

  you're not going to go buy somebody [TS]

  else's throwaway square-toed shoes and [TS]

  you can walk through the shoe section [TS]

  and go nope nope nope nope and then [TS]

  every once in awhile it's rare but you [TS]

  see a pair of shoes and the shoes that [TS]

  you're like these are used shoes already [TS]

  a problem problematic notion yeah yeah [TS]

  but this shoe the shoes singing to me [TS]

  somehow and only then do you see if it [TS]

  fits [TS]

  uh-huh and then I go back to the luggage [TS]

  and with the luggage I'm not even [TS]

  touching stuff i'm just looking with my [TS]

  eyes because what I'm looking for is a [TS]

  certain kind of bag [TS]

  which is to say old and soft you looking [TS]

  for like the the plastic the red plastic [TS]

  samsonite I don't want to dance tonight [TS]

  I don't want somebody's old trumpet case [TS]

  because i have 14 of those alright I [TS]

  don't wanna I don't want a hatbox you [TS]

  know look for someone's duffle that [TS]

  someone's you know old small duffle that [TS]

  they used maybe when they shipped out to [TS]

  Singapore or maybe they used it as a gym [TS]

  bag back in the day when they belonged [TS]

  to an Athletic Club like said but I can [TS]

  see it with my right and so I'm moving [TS]

  through there and then I'm moving [TS]

  through the blankets looking for a [TS]

  Hudson's Bay blanket or a mohair some [TS]

  kind of some kind of wool blanket made [TS]

  by an American or Canadian or English [TS]

  mill and again those are not fleece [TS]

  blankets those are not comforters those [TS]

  are not blankets knitted by your [TS]

  grandmother there are certain kind of [TS]

  thing and you can feel them with your [TS]

  finger just run your finger along there [TS]

  you're like that blankets too soft too [TS]

  soft too soft oh that one feels [TS]

  uncomfortable let's look at it and [TS]

  because with the with a blanket you want [TS]

  something that looks that looks and [TS]

  feels uncomfortable because that those [TS]

  are the those are the best ones some a [TS]

  blanket that might have one point have [TS]

  been on a horse [TS]

  oh and then if there's plenty a time [TS]

  right half the time i'm already out of [TS]

  the thrift store by this point but if [TS]

  there's plenty of time you look at the [TS]

  cufflinks and the wallets and belt [TS]

  buckles in this and again this is stuff [TS]

  that they don't dawdle in that section [TS]

  of various souvenir would items hope [TS]

  somehow always have their own Island a [TS]

  thrift store i got up i got all of the [TS]

  in-and-out boxes i need I've gotta talk [TS]

  about that could be also things made a [TS]

  bob roughly a roughly making a sculpture [TS]

  of something that looks like a person [TS]

  out of tiny seashells [TS]

  mmm yes all business that was made in [TS]

  woodshop class pencil holders strange [TS]

  that that area feels the most disturbing [TS]

  like if I were gonna try and check out [TS]

  the set of a movie to really look like a [TS]

  serial killer was there i would get all [TS]

  of those items while right like the [TS]

  monkey that's made out thats carved out [TS]

  of a coconut [TS]

  my goodness somebody definitely want to [TS]

  use this yeah well or and also the aisle [TS]

  where it's just 1500 wall works for [TS]

  different electronic devices that don't [TS]

  exist anymore you have a cascade of [TS]

  these that it sounds like is somewhat [TS]

  conscious but you don't have to think [TS]

  about it much you know you don't have to [TS]

  think about each shirt you run your hand [TS]

  along you have a whole cascade of ways [TS]

  you blow through one of these places [TS]

  yeah but i'm guessing there are also [TS]

  things where you can even there's that [TS]

  you can get a vibe sometimes about a [TS]

  place for you [TS]

  mm that's not gonna be good yeah you [TS]

  walk in the door and you smell it [TS]

  doesn't take long [TS]

  oh there's a some photos that Dan has [TS]

  been sending the overtime starting in [TS]

  march and it is placing ad and gets very [TS]

  bewildered he has concerns about things [TS]

  that gets really like to send photos of [TS]

  things again not always not always clear [TS]

  what the not sure what it is or why [TS]

  sending it yeah that's the thing that [TS]

  nobody starts things to me in marches pc [TS]

  is gonna get concerns about things we [TS]

  called as concerned on the show today [TS]

  I'm concerned about this place across [TS]

  the street from his office it's this [TS]

  place that has japanese food i want to [TS]

  the name of but it says sushi ramen soba [TS]

  so they're in what looks like you've [TS]

  been someplace where there's not really [TS]

  a front [TS]

  everything feels like the back no matter [TS]

  where you are is not one of those places [TS]

  that they say I get it I get it yes it [TS]

  was just goes ooh feels like this no [TS]

  matter where you goin to San Francisco [TS]

  you feel like you're behind wherever [TS]

  you're supposed to actually be okay if I [TS]

  went to this in a Japanese restaurant [TS]

  would there there would be that curtain [TS]

  between you in the kitchen but you feel [TS]

  like you're on the wrong side of this [TS]

  cases are outside there's a tree of [TS]

  beautiful tree blocking the entire front [TS]

  of this place but it basically looks [TS]

  like a combination of across the [TS]

  warehouse and one of those like a [TS]

  super-solid places it's got an awning [TS]

  but it looks very much like the back [TS]

  door [TS]

  there's lots of like utility boxes they [TS]

  had a sign up for the place then they [TS]

  added a second sign to the other side of [TS]

  the house other side of the building [TS]

  then they put Christmas lights around [TS]

  the sign out front right to that they [TS]

  then alone hello to that they then added [TS]

  a costco open closed sign to that they [TS]

  then added a lamp in addition to that [TS]

  and the thing is but I watching this [TS]

  progress now for you know whatever 3-4 [TS]

  months it's it's so depressing because [TS]

  they are doing something they think is [TS]

  working [TS]

  they think they're helping [TS]

  easy heuristic a little bit by putting [TS]

  up more signs and more crystal and every [TS]

  like piece of shit look at me think that [TS]

  they add to this makes this more place I [TS]

  would never in a million years going to [TS]

  yeah this is trying to get him saying [TS]

  that they're trying to like stimulate in [TS]

  their mind they're like why is no one [TS]

  coming here we've got all these signs [TS]

  and christmas lights why is no one [TS]

  coming here for like food that is [TS]

  definitely totally fresh if I owned a [TS]

  restaurant I've thought about this if I [TS]

  owned a restaurant I would have a very [TS]

  difficult time not over accessorizing it [TS]

  to assess exactly barrel [TS]

  well no not quite that by wouldn't like [TS]

  there wouldn't be any plows no [TS]

  Bennigan's kind of street signs and [TS]

  stuff but like I i also i too would [TS]

  maybe not know when to stop with open [TS]

  signs because you finally own a [TS]

  restaurant you got to put all of them up [TS]

  I'd find won an auction that was like a [TS]

  cool vintage open sign and I'd put it in [TS]

  there and then I'd be like wow you know [TS]

  what a barber pole like signage [TS]

  yeah maybe I should call this place [TS]

  barbers who or taking j polls that and [TS]

  and you know and pretty soon it would be [TS]

  I would be like a mechanic ins and begin [TS]

  Akalis where I just had you know my [TS]

  waiters all had garters on their sleeve [TS]

  uh-huh and and we're on roller skates [TS]

  and I'd be like you know you're only [TS]

  wearing 15 pieces of flair just here to [TS]

  do a bit of a minimum job or you're [TS]

  gonna go the whole distance like I would [TS]

  be I I'm afraid of being in retail or in [TS]

  restaurants mostly that would not be [TS]

  able to know I wouldn't know when to [TS]

  when to quit and every day because you [TS]

  go into restaurants sometimes in there [TS]

  like beautiful minimalist places [TS]

  somebody's really thought about it like [TS]

  my lady friend college is to say her [TS]

  advice for most women was take out all [TS]

  the makeup that you want to use tonight [TS]

  and then put away half of it and you [TS]

  look really really good [TS]

  most people after their own devices will [TS]

  do too much of these things and if it's [TS]

  like a one-person own place [TS]

  there's a place nearby college I'm [TS]

  always using this as an example because [TS]

  it's so salient to me he's there was [TS]

  this guy who had bought you know you get [TS]

  a good place to call your dentist [TS]

  offices to pizza hut that kind of thing [TS]

  got a place that used to be a chain [TS]

  burger place and made it here interested [TS]

  well no no this is a guy who made a [TS]

  burger place of an old burger place like [TS]

  this right now there are a couple [TS]

  distinctive things you walk in there and [TS]

  first of all the lighting is not that of [TS]

  a national chain that he's really really [TS]

  not spending a lot on keeping this place [TS]

  up to the standard of even mcdonalds [TS]

  nothing you notice and you think about [TS]

  think about this is like a dream I swear [TS]

  to god John imagine walking into a fast [TS]

  food place and at the counter there's [TS]

  one person working there that person has [TS]

  a large console color TV behind the [TS]

  counter [TS]

  oh and it's little in a reclining chair [TS]

  like a lazy boy haha and you walk in [TS]

  there now this is all pretty interesting [TS]

  but then it gets super interesting [TS]

  because every burger every sandwich [TS]

  everything that this man-made if you [TS]

  just got the standard sandwich standard [TS]

  burger he always always always put a [TS]

  fried egg on it unless you asked him not [TS]

  to and you might seem a little hurt that [TS]

  you didn't want to friday he had his own [TS]

  fucking restaurant with lazy boy here [TS]

  and every sandwich got a fried egg on it [TS]

  unless you order otherwise and to me [TS]

  that in my head that still always been [TS]

  the canonical example of like what can [TS]

  go slightly wrong and there's nobody [TS]

  else there to tell you how this should [TS]

  work [TS]

  yeah right he's like look I like a [TS]

  friday got everything you know like i [TS]

  like because even say you want a fried [TS]

  egg on that right like that's my thing [TS]

  it's more like no I mean it might as [TS]

  well be like he could put like that [TS]

  fishing lures or brochures on there it [TS]

  is the head is just that's just the [TS]

  thing he does well but the you know the [TS]

  flip side of that is the people that [TS]

  don't know anything [TS]

  they're like opening a restaurant i'm [TS]

  gonna put a chili burger on the [TS]

  restaurant i'm gonna put when somebody [TS]

  orders that I'm gonna spread chili on [TS]

  the bun like it's a condiment because i [TS]

  read about it in restaurant or magazine [TS]

  or somebody shows sandwiches as though [TS]

  they've never actually eaten a sandwich [TS]

  it's the bane of my existence whoo-hoo [TS]

  this is the other 1i have a chili burger [TS]

  please and then the burger comes and [TS]

  it's got lettuce tomato and mayonnaise [TS]

  and pickles on it it's like owning like [TS]

  company on the side or like children [TS]

  like those around chili on the bun till [TS]

  the other bun and then all the all this [TS]

  other stuff like do they not have chili [TS]

  burgers in your town dude named for your [TS]

  info my name [TS]

  good like it'sit's it's exactly the same [TS]

  kind of thing I've this is all part of [TS]

  my heuristic now as I can sniff out [TS]

  basically I go in there your coffee [TS]

  place right [TS]

  hmm ok if you're constantly since you [TS]

  get real fancy coffee only this Gigi [TS]

  breakfast sandwiches you know the [TS]

  breakfast sandwich in my neighborhood is [TS]

  you know you get your egg and cheese you [TS]

  gotta meet and then all of the other [TS]

  things that you would put on a lunchtime [TS]

  sandwich no lettuce don't know [TS]

  so routes when God no-no exactly this is [TS]

  like me trying to go out and make [TS]

  szechuan where I would have no idea what [TS]

  to make because I've eaten it but don't [TS]

  have to cook it but like puts that but [TS]

  everybody in the neighborhood does it [TS]

  you have 10 I don't want tomato on my [TS]

  egg sandwich for breakfast sprouts no no [TS]

  did you don't make me a ham cheese and [TS]

  bologna sandwich with sprouts lettuce [TS]

  and mayonnaise like you're making me so [TS]

  sad [TS]

  yeah yeah I night and I feel like I feel [TS]

  like there are people that go into being [TS]

  in restaurants because it seems like a [TS]

  Jedi like a good job huh [TS]

  like I'm gonna start a restaurant [TS]

  because it's seems like a thing for a [TS]

  person to do [TS]

  everybody's gotta eat right instead of [TS]

  somebody that's like I've always wanted [TS]

  to have a restaurant because I have [TS]

  because I have a passion and because [TS]

  you've liked been through the business [TS]

  of it and like that's when you're we're [TS]

  talking about like you know the kind of [TS]

  restaurant where you going like this is [TS]

  nice but they notice things like they [TS]

  noticed that they at they don't ask you [TS]

  if you want more water they give you [TS]

  more water because no one has never [TS]

  nobody has ever not wanted water if you [TS]

  drank the water in the glass already [TS]

  yeah that you know what here's a 10 you [TS]

  have demonstrated that your water [TS]

  drinker right not thirsty like I drink [TS]

  water [TS]

  I have drunk would be one more lettuce [TS]

  on your except which I here's my idea [TS]

  for a restaurant and I feel like I feel [TS]

  like I got one for you too my what my [TS]

  daughter and I invented once we can't [TS]

  let me hear yours [TS]

  alright here's my idea it would be like [TS]

  the soup guy in the Seinfeld show okay [TS]

  except it would have three big like like [TS]

  foodservice sized giant cooking pots [TS]

  uh-huh right behind a very it's a very [TS]

  small restaurant to stop just a railroad [TS]

  sighs restaurant three big pots one has [TS]

  macaroni and cheese in it one has chili [TS]

  in it one has stew in it [TS]

  oh my they get they never change [TS]

  it's the three pots stew chili mac and [TS]

  cheese and you decide you can obviously [TS]

  the second thing is you can get a big [TS]

  bunch of it to go first thing is how [TS]

  many items it's like going to panda [TS]

  express how to do one two or three items [TS]

  that's right one two or three and that's [TS]

  it that's it every day every day it's [TS]

  just like if you don't want macaroni and [TS]

  cheese toward chili go to a different [TS]

  restaurant but if you want any one of [TS]

  those things or all three of those [TS]

  things here we are and for five bucks [TS]

  you get a thing of one of those things [TS]

  oh my god I would so I would be there so [TS]

  much here like here's here's ours by the [TS]

  big this is based on the way that my [TS]

  daughter and I increasingly eat pizza [TS]

  its new its new restaurant called [TS]

  toppers we go in there and we give you [TS]

  melted cheese with toppings on it but no [TS]

  pizza when you love to be able to go and [TS]

  enjoy pizza without me having to eat [TS]

  fucking pizza just have the top of its [TS]

  just like that place that are I guess [TS]

  it's another seinfeld episode about the [TS]

  about the muffin top of the muffin tops [TS]

  yeah yeah I find other ideas I've had [TS]

  other ideas for places that are just [TS]

  gravy's it's just gravies and sauces and [TS]

  things to put it on [TS]

  that's when you and I retire which we [TS]

  can of course never afford to do but if [TS]

  we do you know what this would be a [TS]

  chance for our listeners to support us [TS]

  help us start the restaurant chain great [TS]

  gravy mix Austin's hauling job and it [TS]

  and it'll be we'll have like it will be [TS]

  like Bartles and Jaymes [TS]

  oh yeah yeah we'll be in the commercial [TS]

  but we need a queen a cool name maybe [TS]

  cover band got its got to have a name [TS]

  that incorporates the sauce idea you [TS]

  don't think you just cooperate you cover [TS]

  me or just call it fxmike gravy's I like [TS]

  JJ as a as like that JJ grey diamond [TS]

  Oh JJ McRaven all you like JJ because he [TS]

  did that incomprehensible television [TS]

  show that no one should ever watch TV [TS]

  arms [TS]

  yeah JJ Abrams Jamie no plot no general [TS]

  rooms is the one with this all the [TS]

  spaceship you made a Star Wars and then [TS]

  you get JJ arms who was the private [TS]

  detective that hooks France now Johnny [TS]

  arms if JJ arms could come in and be the [TS]

  spokesperson for Christmas [TS]

  haha determine gravy's changing [TS]

  McGrady's its lucky JJ carms I was the [TS]

  television show where there was a ghost [TS]

  monster and people were in and out of [TS]

  least it's called house man it's about [TS]

  big house sorority boy it's called it's [TS]

  called the ghost house where ghosts [TS]

  ghosts and we'll know it was a ghost [TS]

  airplane that crashed onto an island [TS]

  that was lost or lost how I think about [TS]

  is one after that dollhouse is what i [TS]

  was thinking i was a lot of notice my [TS]

  thinking about going to joss whedon just [TS]

  hold on JJ abrams made alias changing [TS]

  abrams made lost and I think JJ abrams [TS]

  made my so-called life [TS]

  oh i get it that way just said JJ abrams [TS]

  made lost what did I say [TS]

  ugh just we didn't make that all know [TS]

  Joss Whedon didn't make lost [TS]

  no I think just being JJ Abrams i think [TS]

  let's see here what I see I keep seeing [TS]

  joss whedon at like comic-con and [TS]

  standing on it will Whedon a will we we [TS]

  didn't know will we didn't we started [TS]

  talking about morris dancing know that [TS]

  is next time [TS]