Roderick on the Line

Ep. 198: "No Control Group"


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00:00:18   hello hi John I'm Merlin was going oh [TS]

00:00:24   super SuperDuper been having some dairy [TS]

00:00:27   oh you know how whatever whatever my [TS]

00:00:31   diet project was I've changed a little [TS]

00:00:36   bit by a change-up low my new diet plan [TS]

00:00:39   is to fit if it's really possible to [TS]

00:00:42   poison oneself with normal food that's [TS]

00:00:45   my plan [TS]

00:00:46   I think you're in luck i think i can [TS]

00:00:48   totally poison yourself with normal food [TS]

00:00:50   yeah that's been my experience although [TS]

00:00:52   there's a there's a there's a problem [TS]

00:00:54   there's no control right now control [TS]

00:00:57   group because I also there's some kind [TS]

00:00:59   of raw gas leak into my truck [TS]

00:01:04   haha oh god so i'm driving around with [TS]

00:01:07   all the windows down and I'm and it's [TS]

00:01:10   like I'm standing at the gas pump in [TS]

00:01:12   1974 I know that's now I'm like who feel [TS]

00:01:17   a little lightheaded [TS]

00:01:19   so anyway I can't tell whether i'm [TS]

00:01:23   slowly poisoning myself with gasoline or [TS]

00:01:25   whether i'm slowly poisoning myself with [TS]

00:01:27   pizza and ice cream [TS]

00:01:30   oh man I've had those poisons you know [TS]

00:01:32   there's something kind of comforting [TS]

00:01:34   I mean on the one hand when you're [TS]

00:01:36   really trying to solve a problem it's [TS]

00:01:37   nice to know exactly what your fucking [TS]

00:01:39   problem is i think there's a comfort and [TS]

00:01:41   not knowing exactly what your problem [TS]

00:01:42   you know [TS]

00:01:43   yeah I mean I definitely feel [TS]

00:01:44   comfortable right now but again i can't [TS]

00:01:46   tell whether that's what I'm poisoning [TS]

00:01:49   myself with gas [TS]

00:01:50   well I'm just saying like if you if you [TS]

00:01:53   had a growing mountain of crack vials on [TS]

00:01:56   your coffee table [TS]

00:01:57   mm you know exhibit a right right right [TS]

00:02:00   I'm saying there's something comforting [TS]

00:02:01   about what could be pizza could be gas [TS]

00:02:02   huh Kenny and how much do you move you [TS]

00:02:06   move much [TS]

00:02:07   here's another problem i'm going to the [TS]

00:02:10   doctor on Wednesday and I yeah I feel [TS]

00:02:16   like I haven't been to the doctor in 14 [TS]

00:02:18   years but in fact I've been to multiple [TS]

00:02:20   doctors I've just never been no listen [TS]

00:02:24   to what I'm just don't listen to them [TS]

00:02:26   and I just don't feel like I've ever [TS]

00:02:27   really could I want the first time I [TS]

00:02:29   went to the doctor [TS]

00:02:31   after a long long period i showed up in [TS]

00:02:35   the doctor was like a lot younger than I [TS]

00:02:37   was that happened and I was not into it [TS]

00:02:42   and he was like oh I think you've got [TS]

00:02:45   this i think you've got that and I was [TS]

00:02:47   like yeah well I bet you do I bet you do [TS]

00:02:52   that's cool i bet you do in turn yeah [TS]

00:02:55   and so I didn't want anything to do with [TS]

00:02:57   him so I was a sign up for a new [TS]

00:03:01   healthcare plan and I'm talking to I'm [TS]

00:03:03   talking to a lady on the phone he's like [TS]

00:03:05   let me help you find a doctor and I said [TS]

00:03:07   I would appreciate that helped very much [TS]

00:03:08   and she said here's a doctor who [TS]

00:03:12   graduated from medical school in 2007 [TS]

00:03:14   and I said no thanks [TS]

00:03:16   and she she laughed was like oh ok [TS]

00:03:20   and I said find the doctor who graduated [TS]

00:03:22   from medical school the longest time ago [TS]

00:03:24   uh-huh and she found she found some kind [TS]

00:03:27   of us can have a smoker [TS]

00:03:29   yeah get me a doctor thats that as that [TS]

00:03:32   has one of those little mirrors on his [TS]

00:03:33   head [TS]

00:03:34   Mariana he's got more of this kind of [TS]

00:03:35   double breasted dr. gowns [TS]

00:03:38   yeah he's what he's smoking a Winston [TS]

00:03:39   uh-huh first his own and he's got me for [TS]

00:03:43   that's right it's cools and and he's [TS]

00:03:46   like gotta like you've got a cocktail [TS]

00:03:48   shaker up on the top of the update you [TS]

00:03:51   know like that was my doctor growing up [TS]

00:03:53   dr. tower he was dr. tower was a great [TS]

00:03:56   doctor but you know he's one of those [TS]

00:04:00   guys sit down on the sit down the stool [TS]

00:04:03   and say how's your penis [TS]

00:04:04   lets you know like a like a good ol dr. [TS]

00:04:08   talking about not having a control group [TS]

00:04:10   they take a drag on the cigarette ashes [TS]

00:04:13   out the window [TS]

00:04:14   probably when did he meets the six he's [TS]

00:04:16   gone up a couple flights of stairs [TS]

00:04:18   but the the other i think the control [TS]

00:04:22   that I've been trying to I have been [TS]

00:04:25   trying to keep myself at my current [TS]

00:04:29   level and what that has meant is I [TS]

00:04:33   realized that a lot of my problems [TS]

00:04:36   Merlin are now I become a sedentary [TS]

00:04:38   person and I hate to admit it but it [TS]

00:04:40   makes a difference [TS]

00:04:41   I'm becoming bed shaped and I don't [TS]

00:04:48   another one that happened I was always I [TS]

00:04:50   always walked 10 miles a day that was my [TS]

00:04:53   jam [TS]

00:04:53   I was known as the guy that walks around [TS]

00:04:56   all the time if you say you know you'd [TS]

00:04:59   be driving somewhere in there right [TS]

00:05:00   there I'd be walking a lot whether with [TS]

00:05:02   a big sign that says jesus is coming and [TS]

00:05:06   now i sit around like I I like I I wake [TS]

00:05:09   up I go downstairs I sit on the couch i [TS]

00:05:11   have a cup of coffee and get up i walk [TS]

00:05:13   over to the other side of the house I [TS]

00:05:15   sit down you know what I mean I don't [TS]

00:05:16   get I don't i'm not out like Roman and I [TS]

00:05:21   don't have a regular exercise plan I've [TS]

00:05:23   just become this become this pile as so [TS]

00:05:26   much to do there's so many factors and I [TS]

00:05:29   think one of the biggest factors is [TS]

00:05:31   where you live where one lives because I [TS]

00:05:35   mean it's just it seems so obvious until [TS]

00:05:37   you really think about it I mean there [TS]

00:05:38   are a suburb I'm not I'm you live in a [TS]

00:05:41   kind of suburb i guess like a suburb is [TS]

00:05:43   made to be a place that you drive into [TS]

00:05:44   and out of its meant to accommodate a [TS]

00:05:46   little bit of walking from place to [TS]

00:05:48   place but you know as you've seen in [TS]

00:05:49   Florida [TS]

00:05:50   I'm sure there's lots of places where [TS]

00:05:52   there are no sidewalks there are no you [TS]

00:05:55   would never ride a bike on US 19 unless [TS]

00:05:57   you're really really hardcore right I [TS]

00:05:59   grew up in this area where like you [TS]

00:06:01   would walk to the driveway then you [TS]

00:06:03   would drive to the strip mall in the [TS]

00:06:05   case of my mom drive to the walkway you [TS]

00:06:07   walk to the driveway drive to the [TS]

00:06:09   walkway thing but I i remember having a [TS]

00:06:11   laugh at my mom you know issues aging [TS]

00:06:13   this isn't super funny but like when [TS]

00:06:15   it's when it's really crazy hot if dear [TS]

00:06:18   you have like knee problems she would [TS]

00:06:20   drive to different parts in the strip [TS]

00:06:21   mall should get in your car and drive to [TS]

00:06:23   but there are and that's that's part of [TS]

00:06:27   the thing is like how much does your [TS]

00:06:29   life accommodate walking [TS]

00:06:31   well and and unfortunately I do not have [TS]

00:06:34   sidewalks in my neighborhood and when I [TS]

00:06:37   first moved into the neighborhood i was [TS]

00:06:38   still in my 10 miles a day walking a [TS]

00:06:40   style because I've been doing that for [TS]

00:06:43   15 years and so I would you know I'd [TS]

00:06:46   walk out the door in the morning and [TS]

00:06:48   said I'm going to explore my [TS]

00:06:48   neighborhood walk all around who and and [TS]

00:06:54   my neighborhood was built during I mean [TS]

00:06:57   it was initially built as farm country [TS]

00:06:59   and then you know the the houses moved [TS]

00:07:05   in and then during the war there was [TS]

00:07:06   another layer of houses and then after [TS]

00:07:08   the war there was another layer of [TS]

00:07:09   housing so now it's just a neighborhood [TS]

00:07:11   but no sidewalks and what I discovered [TS]

00:07:13   in walking completely exhaustively [TS]

00:07:17   around my neighborhood is there's no [TS]

00:07:18   place to return to write you walk along [TS]

00:07:21   and you're like alice is what happens on [TS]

00:07:23   this street and these are these people [TS]

00:07:24   in the street but you there's no reason [TS]

00:07:26   to ever go back there's no no cafe [TS]

00:07:29   there's no store there's no like I'm not [TS]

00:07:32   a guy that's gonna go sit in a park and [TS]

00:07:33   throw a tennis ball to myself [TS]

00:07:35   yeah and and there's nothing about you [TS]

00:07:39   know you're not it's not any it's not an [TS]

00:07:41   interesting neighborhood in the sense [TS]

00:07:43   that once you figure out once you walk [TS]

00:07:45   around here like oh ok here are the farm [TS]

00:07:48   houses and they're all separated at this [TS]

00:07:52   distance from one another and then [TS]

00:07:54   inside of those there are all these [TS]

00:07:56   houses that were built during the war [TS]

00:07:58   for workers and they each had a half an [TS]

00:08:04   acre and then within within that matrix [TS]

00:08:08   they're all these houses built [TS]

00:08:09   immediately after the war for young [TS]

00:08:12   families and then there are all these [TS]

00:08:15   houses built in nineteen eighty or [TS]

00:08:19   ninety two but once you see that and you [TS]

00:08:23   know yeah that's cool yeah it's you [TS]

00:08:25   don't go back down that Street right see [TS]

00:08:27   it again [TS]

00:08:29   and so when I realized that the only [TS]

00:08:32   place to go that was interesting was [TS]

00:08:34   down to the supermarket that one store [TS]

00:08:37   huh that's weird [TS]

00:08:40   still they don't have never started [TS]

00:08:42   selling half they never sell anything [TS]

00:08:44   they don't even sell you know the mark [TS]

00:08:46   of a store is if you don't sell happen [TS]

00:08:49   to have do you sell balsa wood rubber [TS]

00:08:50   band powered airplanes [TS]

00:08:52   this place has neither they don't [TS]

00:08:54   invested that used to be a standard oh [TS]

00:08:56   my goodness remember that you just walk [TS]

00:08:57   in somewhere to get a comic book you [TS]

00:08:59   could get you could get out you get some [TS]

00:09:00   bazooka joe you get up also an airplane [TS]

00:09:02   that things don't last that's a good [TS]

00:09:04   thing to keep in stock because you're [TS]

00:09:05   gonna need like several of those I [TS]

00:09:07   always the negotiations I had with my [TS]

00:09:09   dad [TS]

00:09:10   where can I get this comic book can i [TS]

00:09:15   get to comic books which he would [TS]

00:09:18   generally shut down and then at the [TS]

00:09:21   point of purchase at the cash register [TS]

00:09:24   can I get this balsa wood airplanes and [TS]

00:09:27   a bad you know a balsa wood airplanes at [TS]

00:09:29   the time or what [TS]

00:09:30   fifty cents 25 you're probably in these [TS]

00:09:33   35-cent range for comics at that point [TS]

00:09:37   comes with it feels like for all of my [TS]

00:09:38   youth and comics it was always marvel [TS]

00:09:40   comics always thirty-five cents you know [TS]

00:09:41   and I feel like one of those that you're [TS]

00:09:43   gonna get maybe maybe fifty cents for [TS]

00:09:44   displaying 50 cents for a plane and you [TS]

00:09:48   know and depending on his mood I might [TS]

00:09:50   get a comic book and a balsa-wood [TS]

00:09:52   airplane and then I would immediately [TS]

00:09:54   you know we had a the neighborhood kids [TS]

00:09:56   had a piece of plywood on a couple of [TS]

00:09:59   sawhorses that we used as a as a [TS]

00:10:04   aircraft carrier for balsa wood [TS]

00:10:06   airplanes nice so that you wouldn't [TS]

00:10:08   throw it you'd actually wind up and then [TS]

00:10:11   sit on its wheels at one end of this [TS]

00:10:13   piece of plywood and it would run off [TS]

00:10:14   and flying that my greatest triumph [TS]

00:10:18   probably in my life [TS]

00:10:20   yeah was one time i set a playoff it [TS]

00:10:24   went up in the air looped around and [TS]

00:10:26   came back and landed on the same piece [TS]

00:10:28   of plywood that's that's a Black Swan [TS]

00:10:29   you don't see that every day and weekend [TS]

00:10:31   performance characteristics those were [TS]

00:10:32   very uneven oh my god i was about twenty [TS]

00:10:36   percent of the time they were just [TS]

00:10:37   plummet into the groundbreaking [TS]

00:10:38   immediately immediately is that like [TS]

00:10:39   even if you got you have to get the we [TS]

00:10:41   have to figure out the peculiarities to [TS]

00:10:42   what [TS]

00:10:43   able to make the lingo what angle to [TS]

00:10:45   make the tail fin go and then by the [TS]

00:10:48   time you figure that out it was broken [TS]

00:10:49   it was broken right but i did this and [TS]

00:10:52   all the kids it was one of those things [TS]

00:10:54   that sometimes you see on the internet [TS]

00:10:55   now where some kid hits a three point [TS]

00:10:57   shot from 40 feet away whatever it is [TS]

00:11:00   some amazing skateboard trip and trick [TS]

00:11:02   and all of his friends all drop to their [TS]

00:11:05   knees in incredulity and what I scored [TS]

00:11:09   this balsa wood flight you know you know [TS]

00:11:12   what can you do except flop on the [TS]

00:11:13   ground [TS]

00:11:14   yeah and make the universal sound which [TS]

00:11:16   is oh they're probably still talking [TS]

00:11:20   about today I've never I've never going [TS]

00:11:22   to reach those heights again [TS]

00:11:24   what can i what could i do now where [TS]

00:11:26   everybody would drop to their knees and [TS]

00:11:28   go all em think about it what what what [TS]

00:11:31   could you possibly do where first of all [TS]

00:11:33   where would you ever be with you were [TS]

00:11:36   there with five friends [TS]

00:11:37   yeah and then secondly what are you [TS]

00:11:39   getting at google chat or something and [TS]

00:11:40   just be like just just drop some google [TS]

00:11:44   chat science on people [TS]

00:11:46   ya know what what what am I gonna do I'm [TS]

00:11:49   not gonna hit a baseball out of a part [TS]

00:11:51   of a park [TS]

00:11:52   you'd have to warm up a lot i used to be [TS]

00:11:55   able to do that hit a baseball hard [TS]

00:11:57   nice to be a hitter I was a header so [TS]

00:11:58   right oh yeah yeah i had the highest [TS]

00:12:01   average on my team for a while because I [TS]

00:12:03   didn't play very much for playing the [TS]

00:12:05   numbers you Merlin was the star hitter [TS]

00:12:08   ipad 764 a while [TS]

00:12:11   the thing is I didn't play very much and [TS]

00:12:13   I wasn't good they couldn't catch the [TS]

00:12:15   ball [TS]

00:12:15   uh-huh yeah I'm very sympathetic to my [TS]

00:12:19   daughter's desire to avoid activity [TS]

00:12:21   especially team sports and it drives my [TS]

00:12:24   wife crazy [TS]

00:12:25   this should be there I should be there [TS]

00:12:27   pulling say hey you know it's good you [TS]

00:12:29   know you should do brownies you should [TS]

00:12:30   do soccer you should do all the things [TS]

00:12:33   you know because character [TS]

00:12:34   yeah but I'm like all I think it's like [TS]

00:12:35   a God's having to go somewhere where an [TS]

00:12:38   outfit and sit in the Sun on a bench and [TS]

00:12:40   like and and then just be envious of [TS]

00:12:42   everyone he and his entire that's that's [TS]

00:12:45   my bio he and Annie and and Madeline [TS]

00:12:49   feels like it is important to build [TS]

00:12:52   character for a child to be a [TS]

00:12:54   slept around and been put through [TS]

00:12:56   childhood ringer that's a very it's a [TS]

00:12:59   very good question and we actually are [TS]

00:13:00   not so far off on this what we do [TS]

00:13:02   realize is that i mean not to not to [TS]

00:13:04   beat this into the ground but i have an [TS]

00:13:06   ongoing concern about the incursion of [TS]

00:13:09   institutions into like my child's free [TS]

00:13:12   time for my child's childtime really [TS]

00:13:15   and even though she's only she's about [TS]

00:13:16   to finish second grade but you know if [TS]

00:13:18   she did her homework really well-liked [TS]

00:13:22   and it did the spelling and the [TS]

00:13:23   assignment all that she would have a [TS]

00:13:25   half an hour a day to be a kit [TS]

00:13:27   really yeah how do we get em how do we [TS]

00:13:32   get our children out of this [TS]

00:13:33   how do we get to let them achieve escape [TS]

00:13:35   velocity from this madness Miner's [TS]

00:13:37   Daughter that's a great question i think [TS]

00:13:38   there are I think there are probably a [TS]

00:13:43   couple ways and I think well I think the [TS]

00:13:45   one that's here's the thing [TS]

00:13:46   first of all I mean I i have had a [TS]

00:13:49   feeling this would be true with reading [TS]

00:13:51   and it definitely in my kit much as case [TS]

00:13:53   turned out to be true with reading which [TS]

00:13:55   is like if your child is very interested [TS]

00:13:57   in something whether that's a cartoon [TS]

00:13:58   show or minecraft or princesses or [TS]

00:14:01   whatever the if they're interested they [TS]

00:14:03   will learn to read a lot faster [TS]

00:14:05   I think this is a kind of pseudo [TS]

00:14:06   documented thing like if your kid is [TS]

00:14:08   just you know if you just put with all [TS]

00:14:10   respect I know you love the dick and [TS]

00:14:11   Janes if you put like perfunctory books [TS]

00:14:13   in front of your kid is gonna feel like [TS]

00:14:14   school but if they're very like [TS]

00:14:16   incentivized they will learn to read the [TS]

00:14:18   part of it is finding finding a cart [TS]

00:14:21   that you can hook that horse too and it [TS]

00:14:23   won't mind [TS]

00:14:24   mm so in some cases that's just running [TS]

00:14:25   around the park the other thing is and [TS]

00:14:28   this is again something Louie CK said i [TS]

00:14:30   think i mentioned here before suddenly [TS]

00:14:31   ck said a few years ago that when i [TS]

00:14:33   heard it before i had a kid i giggled [TS]

00:14:34   but now it's true you know you know you [TS]

00:14:36   know the reason you can't have that you [TS]

00:14:38   can't have that because you wanted you [TS]

00:14:40   know what you have to do that you have [TS]

00:14:41   to do that because you don't want to do [TS]

00:14:43   it so my feeling is almost done [TS]

00:14:46   my feeling is for stuff like let's go [TS]

00:14:47   take a walk after dinner [TS]

00:14:49   that's a good pseudo forcing thing [TS]

00:14:51   meeting to like five years of scouts or [TS]

00:14:55   whatever like a not so much because they [TS]

00:14:58   you know they should get a chance to [TS]

00:15:00   have those preferences sometimes but the [TS]

00:15:01   thing is our kids bounce back so if we [TS]

00:15:03   for sure going to walk after dinner [TS]

00:15:04   which can be a lovely thing to do you [TS]

00:15:05   know that is a nice thing to do [TS]

00:15:07   the nice cool you know spring air chance [TS]

00:15:10   of having a good time that she doesn't [TS]

00:15:11   want to go back [TS]

00:15:12   yeah just how it works but so I think [TS]

00:15:14   it's a combination of figuring out you [TS]

00:15:16   know and I'm not just saying this to be [TS]

00:15:17   like some stupid liberal parent of our [TS]

00:15:19   time but i think it's true for any time [TS]

00:15:21   when you figure out what your kids [TS]

00:15:22   interested in and then let them discover [TS]

00:15:24   it more on their own [TS]

00:15:25   that's all the incentive they need apart [TS]

00:15:28   from the things you force them to do [TS]

00:15:29   what you want to do when you go 400 [TS]

00:15:31   after-dinner walk with your family doing [TS]

00:15:34   your wife hold hands [TS]

00:15:36   uh no sometimes yeah that sometimes it's [TS]

00:15:40   not it's no it's not a typical thing I [TS]

00:15:42   don't think you do that to your old well [TS]

00:15:44   i was just that reason i ask i was 'just [TS]

00:15:46   driving here and I saw a couple walking [TS]

00:15:49   along in silence both what kind of [TS]

00:15:51   frowny faces walking along the street [TS]

00:15:54   with strange strip of the road where [TS]

00:15:57   I've seldom see anyone walking holding [TS]

00:15:59   hands [TS]

00:16:00   they both have brown faces on they [TS]

00:16:02   weren't talking to each other they were [TS]

00:16:03   just walking but holding hands and I was [TS]

00:16:05   like me holding hands [TS]

00:16:07   that's a that's a way of expressing [TS]

00:16:11   affection for another person or just [TS]

00:16:13   letting the no world know that you're [TS]

00:16:15   chained together for eternity here we [TS]

00:16:16   are here we are I can't get this other [TS]

00:16:19   person off of me [TS]

00:16:20   mhm but it was it was you know it it's [TS]

00:16:23   almost like everyone's like you're both [TS]

00:16:25   holding the plunger for the explosive [TS]

00:16:28   device and you don't want the other [TS]

00:16:29   person to get it exclusively you know [TS]

00:16:31   how uh huh [TS]

00:16:32   like who just assume assume there's a [TS]

00:16:33   plunger in there okay [TS]

00:16:36   contact walking down the street oh i see [TS]

00:16:38   i was thinkin toilet plunger not be [TS]

00:16:40   adorable [TS]

00:16:40   wow that's a real commitment i don't [TS]

00:16:43   want to do this you don't want to do [TS]

00:16:44   this let's do this together fork fork [TS]

00:16:47   Fork [TS]

00:16:48   yeah you borrow that like at a gas [TS]

00:16:49   station to go to the bathroom we keep it [TS]

00:16:51   and that becomes a temple for your [TS]

00:16:52   relationship [TS]

00:16:52   alright because that was the key to the [TS]

00:16:54   bathroom was on the blender [TS]

00:16:56   yeah yeah yeah I feel like the I feel [TS]

00:16:59   like the number-one problem in my life [TS]

00:17:03   and I'm extending this to my life with [TS]

00:17:05   my child is that I don't get a early i [TS]

00:17:07   don't get up early enough i keep wanting [TS]

00:17:09   there to be 28 hour days and the reason [TS]

00:17:13   I want there to be 28 hour days is that [TS]

00:17:15   I want to get up at eleven 1030 [TS]

00:17:19   and then I want to have access to an [TS]

00:17:21   entire day and I feel like if you got up [TS]

00:17:24   at if you were one of those parents that [TS]

00:17:27   took your kids to swim swimming and got [TS]

00:17:31   up at five in the morning I don't know [TS]

00:17:32   how people do it where is the time to do [TS]

00:17:35   all these things because when in the in [TS]

00:17:38   the afternoons we do one thing as you're [TS]

00:17:42   saying and then it's it's 220 o'clock or [TS]

00:17:48   something i know you know i guess i [TS]

00:17:50   don't understand how others i don't know [TS]

00:17:51   how other people do it and when i was [TS]

00:17:54   when i was young it seemed like days [TS]

00:17:57   just stretched into eternity right and [TS]

00:17:59   now I wake up I go downstairs I sit on [TS]

00:18:01   the couch i have a cup of coffee and [TS]

00:18:03   many and of course you take a little nap [TS]

00:18:05   then yeah yeah and then you get up you [TS]

00:18:07   make a peanut butter sandwich and it's [TS]

00:18:08   fucking 1130 i completely agree i [TS]

00:18:11   completely agree [TS]

00:18:12   what are you supposed to do I mean and I [TS]

00:18:14   keep honestly I cannot accept I cannot [TS]

00:18:18   accept 24-hour days and I keep feeling [TS]

00:18:21   that they keep rebelling against them in [TS]

00:18:23   my spirit and saying this is outrageous [TS]

00:18:26   how can you Limit a day to 24 hours why [TS]

00:18:29   is the is the is the earth getting [TS]

00:18:32   closer to the Sun is that what is that [TS]

00:18:34   there's definitely some compression [TS]

00:18:35   going on because I feel the same way and [TS]

00:18:37   and part of it is for me and I don't [TS]

00:18:38   want to just say it's a matter of [TS]

00:18:39   getting older all that that's certainly [TS]

00:18:41   a factor but it takes more time to kind [TS]

00:18:43   of ramped up to where I want to be and [TS]

00:18:45   for me to get ramped up to where i want [TS]

00:18:46   to be i get about a half hour starting [TS]

00:18:48   around two men my sugar rapidly drops [TS]

00:18:52   and i'm basically ready to just watch TV [TS]

00:18:53   and go to sleep [TS]

00:18:54   yeah and that if that let me ask this is [TS]

00:18:57   a question for the physicists in our [TS]

00:18:59   audiences if the earth started spinning [TS]

00:19:02   faster would the clocks also start [TS]

00:19:06   spinning faster i think this is due to [TS]

00:19:08   relativity well I think it's probably [TS]

00:19:10   relativity it's by a little bit of [TS]

00:19:11   science I think I think what happens is [TS]

00:19:13   though even if you're measuring tools [TS]

00:19:15   are changing to you know I'm saying [TS]

00:19:17   right go on go on [TS]

00:19:19   well I'm just saying if the earth is [TS]

00:19:20   changing well with with regards to [TS]

00:19:22   rotation or or sun placement or you know [TS]

00:19:25   becoming slightly oblong I don't know [TS]

00:19:28   the exact reasons but the thing is how [TS]

00:19:29   would you know how could you know [TS]

00:19:31   because maybe your tools maybe your [TS]

00:19:32   tools [TS]

00:19:33   nuh-uh changed as well no this is my [TS]

00:19:35   question if clock started going faster [TS]

00:19:38   would we retain our perception of how [TS]

00:19:40   old or how long days used to be right [TS]

00:19:43   when we maintain some kind of autonomy [TS]

00:19:45   from this or would what if our day is [TS]

00:19:48   what if our days are only a millisecond [TS]

00:19:50   longer and we don't know it [TS]

00:19:51   whoa right yeah right right but so I've [TS]

00:19:55   been noticing that Orion appears to be [TS]

00:19:58   lower and lower in the sky all the time [TS]

00:20:01   like it's like it's just slipping a [TS]

00:20:03   little bit [TS]

00:20:03   oh yeah like out of the out of the [TS]

00:20:05   firmament I look up and I'm like wait a [TS]

00:20:07   minute that's not where you are [TS]

00:20:09   that's not where you bland interesting [TS]

00:20:10   that's an interesting thing and I'm i [TS]

00:20:12   see no I'm not an astronomer but but [TS]

00:20:14   it's interesting to me that like you [TS]

00:20:15   know first of all Orion is the one [TS]

00:20:17   constellation I can almost always find [TS]

00:20:19   this could be an availability heuristic [TS]

00:20:20   i'm finding a ryan a lot easier than I [TS]

00:20:22   would like [TS]

00:20:23   I think maybe it had some kind of [TS]

00:20:24   promotion maybe it's got special offers [TS]

00:20:26   by amazon but there's something where I [TS]

00:20:28   feel like I'm seeing too much Orion you [TS]

00:20:30   feel like it's a Promoted Tweet or it's [TS]

00:20:32   a it's something that's been don't even [TS]

00:20:34   know how how would I even know pumped up [TS]

00:20:36   in your timeline [TS]

00:20:37   well I feel like I would know because i [TS]

00:20:39   have marked marked it in my imaginary [TS]

00:20:43   space place you know what it in in my in [TS]

00:20:47   my terrarium when I lay back and look up [TS]

00:20:51   at my terrarium yeah there it is [TS]

00:20:53   belongs in a certain place so I'm afraid [TS]

00:20:57   that there might be some acceleration [TS]

00:20:59   happening and and we are just were [TS]

00:21:03   separated from it [TS]

00:21:04   maybe maybe it's all the jumping up in [TS]

00:21:07   the air i do with every time I jump up [TS]

00:21:09   in the air the earth like I'm somehow [TS]

00:21:12   become detached from the earth long [TS]

00:21:15   enough for me to notice that time is [TS]

00:21:18   accelerating whoa huh [TS]

00:21:22   I maybe I should stop jumping up in the [TS]

00:21:24   air maybe I should just submit to a [TS]

00:21:27   bounded miss what if you could only [TS]

00:21:29   become aware of these my new changes in [TS]

00:21:31   the time that you itself uh look um mode [TS]

00:21:34   it faded up into the air on your own [TS]

00:21:37   what if that was your your single moment [TS]

00:21:38   of clarity with the amount of time that [TS]

00:21:40   you could propel yourself into the air [TS]

00:21:41   mean what if we learned that all inside [TS]

00:21:43   could only come from jumping in the air [TS]

00:21:45   I'm not talking about I'm not having [TS]

00:21:47   about gliding i'm not talking about [TS]

00:21:48   space kites [TS]

00:21:49   yeah i'm not talking about playing [TS]

00:21:51   playing parachuting I'm saying you've [TS]

00:21:53   got you gotta do it in and you know what [TS]

00:21:54   i'm going to say trampoline is is [TS]

00:21:56   cheating the universe would know right [TS]

00:21:57   right no you have to you have to [TS]

00:21:59   actively and independently resist [TS]

00:22:01   gravity it's like the matrix because we [TS]

00:22:04   don't even know what gravity is bro [TS]

00:22:06   nobody really knows so maybe gravity is [TS]

00:22:09   just like an inhibited it's an inhibitor [TS]

00:22:12   it's like it's like a governor on on one [TS]

00:22:14   of those u-haul trucks [TS]

00:22:16   yeah it's a governor right you can't get [TS]

00:22:17   you can't go faster than 55 miles an [TS]

00:22:19   hour unless you jump em I'm I'm not [TS]

00:22:24   saying I'm not saying this is like [TS]

00:22:26   canonical science [TS]

00:22:28   well I mean is there really such a thing [TS]

00:22:29   yeah thank you [TS]

00:22:31   maybe the canonical I can't be science I [TS]

00:22:33   share that I'm sure that more spiritual [TS]

00:22:35   ality at that point right or literature [TS]

00:22:37   there's a lot of there's a lot of [TS]

00:22:39   spirituality and what we're saying [TS]

00:22:41   absolutely i think i think more people [TS]

00:22:43   more people need to get with that I have [TS]

00:22:45   faith [TS]

00:22:46   I seriously do have faith that I'm gonna [TS]

00:22:49   be able to accomplish a 28-hour day one [TS]

00:22:52   day faith gets a bad rap because it gets [TS]

00:22:54   closely associated with the jesus and [TS]

00:22:56   that's fine for what it is or the whole [TS]

00:22:58   idea of God writ large trouble if you [TS]

00:23:01   can have faith about lots of things that [TS]

00:23:02   you have any evidence for I guess it [TS]

00:23:04   could be a kind of magical thinking I [TS]

00:23:06   prefer to think of it as spiritual [TS]

00:23:07   thinking I had a question the other day [TS]

00:23:10   let's say I was in the abu dhabi airport [TS]

00:23:13   ok and i wanted to buy at Alice man of [TS]

00:23:18   some kind of expensive jewelry store i [TS]

00:23:22   wanted to buy some commemorative [TS]

00:23:24   necklace and let's say I was walking [TS]

00:23:30   through the abu dhabi airport like if [TS]

00:23:33   you're walking through the Vatican City [TS]

00:23:35   Airport they got an airport that's a [TS]

00:23:38   little airport he go to Rome [TS]

00:23:40   well sure but if you would go to Rome if [TS]

00:23:43   you can't afford to fly out of Vatican [TS]

00:23:44   City I Saints bespoke right red and it's [TS]

00:23:48   like if you have to ask is there an [TS]

00:23:49   airport in Vatican City there isn't one [TS]

00:23:51   each can't afford it i think but let's [TS]

00:23:54   say I'm walking through the Vatican City [TS]

00:23:55   Airport and I'm and i bought a little [TS]

00:23:57   that's a bottle of [TS]

00:23:59   religious icon in the shape of a cross [TS]

00:24:02   mhm and let's say I encounter a cardinal [TS]

00:24:05   right we're waiting for our flight [TS]

00:24:08   it'sit's southwest right so we're gonna [TS]

00:24:10   there's no way sorry lineup and yeah [TS]

00:24:13   there's gonna be a little tussling right [TS]

00:24:15   we're both in group 2 i'm like a [TS]

00:24:17   cardinal miter miter miter miter filson [TS]

00:24:20   bag miter miter up [TS]

00:24:22   uh-huh well let's say I'm outlets have [TS]

00:24:25   been in Vatican City long enough that [TS]

00:24:26   I've gotta that I've gotta crook'd staff [TS]

00:24:28   ok right but I put some jingles on it so [TS]

00:24:32   it's a good it's a jingle staff and but [TS]

00:24:36   I want this I want this little a cross [TS]

00:24:40   imbued with some religiosity and blue [TS]

00:24:44   imbued with some magic [TS]

00:24:46   mmm if I turn to the Cardinal is a [TS]

00:24:49   cardinal would you bless my little [TS]

00:24:50   talents man because i'm gonna give it to [TS]

00:24:53   some I'm gonna give it to my daughter as [TS]

00:24:55   a protector or against the unknown the [TS]

00:24:59   dark arts and right well I i don't know [TS]

00:25:03   but i think that a cardinal could go to [TS]

00:25:06   dominate spirit to sink to on it right [TS]

00:25:10   and then it would be more magical may be [TS]

00:25:12   imbued it right yeah yeah yeah no I mean [TS]

00:25:15   it said not unlike what you might call a [TS]

00:25:18   blessing and I suspect that they have [TS]

00:25:20   once you reach the level of Cardinals [TS]

00:25:22   it's probably like a free buffet like [TS]

00:25:24   you can you can imbue or charm or [TS]

00:25:26   blessed probably as many things as you [TS]

00:25:28   want you could probably accept gratuity [TS]

00:25:29   for it [TS]

00:25:30   sure right let's say I slipped him a [TS]

00:25:32   five and I say put a little bit of put a [TS]

00:25:35   little mojo on this little but let's say [TS]

00:25:38   you put some English on it yeah right [TS]

00:25:40   and then i can give this little cross to [TS]

00:25:43   my kid and who knows what it will [TS]

00:25:47   protect against you there's no again no [TS]

00:25:48   control group but better to have it the [TS]

00:25:52   not write better to have a deathbed [TS]

00:25:54   conversion sure then to nothing to just [TS]

00:25:57   go into the unknown and maybe you maybe [TS]

00:25:59   you die in here like brouhaha was like [TS]

00:26:02   Pascal said you know I piss on a spark [TS]

00:26:03   plug if I thought it'd do any good [TS]

00:26:05   alright pretty small it's not anything [TS]

00:26:07   you know who's hurting [TS]

00:26:09   well so this is what is what i'm asking [TS]

00:26:11   i do not know enough [TS]

00:26:12   about Islam to know if I'm in the abu [TS]

00:26:15   dhabi airport and i buy some sort of [TS]

00:26:17   talents man that has a little glyph on [TS]

00:26:21   it if I see an imam walking through the [TS]

00:26:25   airport which I surely would [TS]

00:26:27   hmm can I walk up to the Imam and say [TS]

00:26:31   put a little English or a little Arabic [TS]

00:26:34   on this little guy right give me some [TS]

00:26:38   give me some olive power or is that not [TS]

00:26:41   a thing that they do because it seems [TS]

00:26:42   like there it seems like Islam as is [TS]

00:26:46   more like not into witchcraft telling [TS]

00:26:49   almost get an autograph from God exactly [TS]

00:26:52   right like you're this you're worried a [TS]

00:26:54   little bit sounds like if I hear you're [TS]

00:26:55   saying like would it work [TS]

00:26:57   first of all let's talk in terms of you [TS]

00:26:58   know efficacy can I get in a mom to [TS]

00:27:00   place my cliff but also its is it [TS]

00:27:02   socially acceptable in the abu dhabi [TS]

00:27:05   airport to walk up to 2 and mom and ask [TS]

00:27:07   for some kind of us like a you know a [TS]

00:27:09   guardian leviosa some kind of give me a [TS]

00:27:11   spell gimme a charm here Yeah Yeah Yeah [TS]

00:27:13   right [TS]

00:27:13   if you even mom this is what I don't [TS]

00:27:15   know about Islam if your mom lays hands [TS]

00:27:18   on a glyph does it imbue and I think [TS]

00:27:24   it's a lot like Harry Potter I i bet i [TS]

00:27:26   bet we are models right we are we are no [TS]

00:27:29   you didn't read this in the end when [TS]

00:27:31   you're in a brig on a ship you read [TS]

00:27:33   Harry Potter when you're in a ship jail [TS]

00:27:34   I feel like I was living in a closet [TS]

00:27:36   yeah and ilu cupboard under the stairs [TS]

00:27:39   yeah their work for that was yeah i was [TS]

00:27:41   in a I was it wasn't it wasn't so much [TS]

00:27:44   like Harry Potter I was no I was in a [TS]

00:27:47   bureau i was in a row i walked into B [TS]

00:27:49   into the bureau going to the wardrobe [TS]

00:27:52   and you get a fur coat and there was [TS]

00:27:54   some kind of lying in there and I had [TS]

00:27:57   nothing to do nowhere to go to and they [TS]

00:28:02   were 45 Harry Potter books in the in [TS]

00:28:04   this in this wardrobe and I you know I [TS]

00:28:07   consumed them [TS]

00:28:08   yeah so I have enough have enough [TS]

00:28:10   knowledge that if somebody if somebody [TS]

00:28:13   uses the word model i can I could not [TS]

00:28:15   knowing like to go haha yes right if [TS]

00:28:18   somebody says that the red wedding [TS]

00:28:20   uh-huh no yeah [TS]

00:28:22   and winter dress code or door right I [TS]

00:28:25   get it I get it [TS]

00:28:26   uh I know what you mean and the thing is [TS]

00:28:28   that you want to be careful it is a lot [TS]

00:28:30   like their moms you with all due respect [TS]

00:28:31   to the horse community you don't want to [TS]

00:28:33   go head-to-head with harry potter people [TS]

00:28:35   i know there's no I mean my things I'm [TS]

00:28:37   very late to harry potter semi harry [TS]

00:28:38   potter jokes are already like 15 years [TS]

00:28:40   old and I just don't know it yet [TS]

00:28:42   sure you know what i mean but it's a lot [TS]

00:28:44   but here's what we do know as you get [TS]

00:28:45   further into the books you get into like [TS]

00:28:47   you know 345 you get into understanding [TS]

00:28:49   and got the ministry of magic and then [TS]

00:28:52   part of the job of the ministry of magic [TS]

00:28:54   you take somebody like Arthur Weasley [TS]

00:28:55   his job is to look at stuff that's [TS]

00:28:57   happening in with the Mughals we gotta [TS]

00:28:59   keep this copacetic [TS]

00:29:00   we need to make sure that they don't [TS]

00:29:01   find out too much about what the [TS]

00:29:03   wizarding world is up to know your [TS]

00:29:05   that's a lot like islam i think i may [TS]

00:29:07   not not in a bad way but it but in that [TS]

00:29:09   you know you wouldn't walk up to [TS]

00:29:11   Dumbledore in the Vatican airport and [TS]

00:29:13   ask him ask you to bless your wand you [TS]

00:29:15   know what I mean I well I do I'm my [TS]

00:29:18   problem with harry potter i know you [TS]

00:29:20   just said you said do not go up against [TS]

00:29:23   the harry potter people up to you buddy [TS]

00:29:25   but I hear you're gonna get some else [TS]

00:29:27   but whatever thing is Quidditch is in a [TS]

00:29:30   real game footage is this should just be [TS]

00:29:33   a quarterly segment on the show my [TS]

00:29:35   daughter was explaining how quick is not [TS]

00:29:36   actually bullshit but i don't buy her [TS]

00:29:38   explanation of it i still think it's [TS]

00:29:40   bullshit if you play chutes and ladders [TS]

00:29:42   you know what's gonna happen right you [TS]

00:29:45   go down the you go down the chute if you [TS]

00:29:48   roll the dice wrong or whatever I for [TS]

00:29:51   having played chutes and ladders in a [TS]

00:29:53   long time [TS]

00:29:53   well like like you like Candyland well [TS]

00:29:56   actually we have a way that we play [TS]

00:29:57   we've added some some some strategies [TS]

00:29:59   the consequences all know you have a [TS]

00:30:01   consequence the only way i can have been [TS]

00:30:03   able to bear candyland since she was [TS]

00:30:05   about to was to ask some strategy to it [TS]

00:30:07   which I have done se but it's still [TS]

00:30:08   largely game of chance but i but i but I [TS]

00:30:10   take your meaning exactly [TS]

00:30:12   yeah and it seems to me that Quidditch [TS]

00:30:13   is like sort of like watching the [TS]

00:30:14   television show Lost we're going to find [TS]

00:30:19   a solution of character makes any sense [TS]

00:30:20   you can enjoy [TS]

00:30:21   yeah right like that's precisely it like [TS]

00:30:24   it [TS]

00:30:25   everybody's chasing around chasing [TS]

00:30:26   around and really all it is about [TS]

00:30:28   catching this little ball and if you [TS]

00:30:30   catch the little ball it's my [TS]

00:30:32   understanding that if you catch this is [TS]

00:30:33   where my daughter schooled me where [TS]

00:30:34   going on the other day and she told me I [TS]

00:30:35   was telling her about which is bullshit [TS]

00:30:37   which we always talk about it she says [TS]

00:30:38   no actually it's not because it's my [TS]

00:30:39   understanding was soon as you keep your [TS]

00:30:41   secret catches the snitch two things [TS]

00:30:43   happen you get a hundred fifty points in [TS]

00:30:45   the game is over right [TS]

00:30:46   what she's telling me and I'm do again [TS]

00:30:48   right my daughter not me but she says no [TS]

00:30:51   but here's the thing if the other side [TS]

00:30:53   has gotten like 250 points but hasn't [TS]

00:30:56   gotten the snitch cotton I i don't know [TS]

00:30:59   i don't i didn't know you could put up [TS]

00:31:01   those kinds of numbers but apparently [TS]

00:31:02   it's like cricket right like Premier Li [TS]

00:31:05   cricket was like a month because of the [TS]

00:31:08   games or 40 years long [TS]

00:31:09   yeah yeah well apparently includes the [TS]

00:31:11   game can go on so long that you can [TS]

00:31:13   actually go and train new people who [TS]

00:31:14   don't know about quidditch to be [TS]

00:31:15   replacement by the time the end of the [TS]

00:31:16   game comes around but so side to let's [TS]

00:31:20   say let's say slytherin is up to their [TS]

00:31:22   up to 250 points right catching the [TS]

00:31:24   little no no no they got they got the [TS]

00:31:27   bludger and they've been putting [TS]

00:31:28   legitimate quidditch points on the [TS]

00:31:30   quidditch board and then fucking harry [TS]

00:31:32   potter comes along he catches the snitch [TS]

00:31:34   guess what happens two things number one [TS]

00:31:35   boom hundred fifty points number 2 game [TS]

00:31:37   ends [TS]

00:31:37   trouble is I yeah okay the game ends [TS]

00:31:40   automatically whether a catch the flying [TS]

00:31:45   the wind ball [TS]

00:31:46   yeah that game is over whether you want [TS]

00:31:49   it to be or not exactly so if that's [TS]

00:31:51   true and I don't really care whether it [TS]

00:31:52   is because the game still bullshit that [TS]

00:31:54   that it makes it interesting strategic [TS]

00:31:56   it becomes a little bit like cricket or [TS]

00:31:58   one of those terrible games of football [TS]

00:31:59   we try to run down the clock right [TS]

00:32:02   that's the worst if you're watching the [TS]

00:32:03   football and you get in the other teen [TS]

00:32:05   and I don't do that anymore because of [TS]

00:32:07   you know timers and stuff but it used to [TS]

00:32:09   be you just do like the [TS]

00:32:11   not really gonna try and the clock would [TS]

00:32:13   run down that you run the Heisman over [TS]

00:32:14   and over here on that run a Heisman or [TS]

00:32:17   Flickr yeah you do flickr absolutely so [TS]

00:32:20   i don't know i don't know this has to do [TS]

00:32:21   with Islam but I imagine there are rules [TS]

00:32:23   that are hard for any model to [TS]

00:32:24   understand outside the community [TS]

00:32:26   well I've never see I don't even [TS]

00:32:27   understand all the rules of Catholicism [TS]

00:32:29   but at least within Catholicism makeup [TS]

00:32:32   box you can look it up do they have [TS]

00:32:34   well I can read the books i think there [TS]

00:32:36   but also you know there's a lot of [TS]

00:32:38   signifying that happens with the hats [TS]

00:32:40   right you look at you look at a Catholic [TS]

00:32:44   Cubs a priest of some kind and and it's [TS]

00:32:47   the end the vestments tell the tale [TS]

00:32:49   right the taller the hand the the the [TS]

00:32:54   longer the chat [TS]

00:32:55   yeah there you go I don't know i'll [TS]

00:32:57   holler the Hat the bigger the bigger the [TS]

00:33:01   mass this episode of Roderick on the [TS]

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00:35:31   runner online and all the great shows [TS]

00:35:35   yeah right its yeah the thicker than [TS]

00:35:39   nicker the mat so i but but within Islam [TS]

00:35:44   it seems like there's a lot of there's [TS]

00:35:45   more of a sort of humility action where [TS]

00:35:49   the Imams are not as they get bigger as [TS]

00:35:52   they get more influential they don't put [TS]

00:35:54   gold braid on their shoulder pads [TS]

00:35:58   hmm it's just all like Jonathan Jonathan [TS]

00:36:01   Pryce on Game of Thrones like he's like [TS]

00:36:03   he's a big gun no spoilers he's a big [TS]

00:36:05   gun in this religious cult but he still [TS]

00:36:07   dresses you know like like a hobo [TS]

00:36:09   that's part of the thing he's wearing a [TS]

00:36:11   gunnysack he's wearing a gunnysack he's [TS]

00:36:13   not gonna have a gunnysack with epaulets [TS]

00:36:14   now we're actually pretty smart look and [TS]

00:36:17   if you if you're if you're looking at [TS]

00:36:18   like Orthodox rabbis em it the longer [TS]

00:36:22   the beard the quitter that like the [TS]

00:36:28   greater the weird longer the beard the [TS]

00:36:31   the greater the weird [TS]

00:36:32   yeah mm right like so you can tell the [TS]

00:36:35   big-time rabbis for the most part by the [TS]

00:36:37   great [TS]

00:36:38   miss of the beard and the way the curly [TS]

00:36:40   sideburns if you get a big long curly [TS]

00:36:41   sideburns that means you've been in the [TS]

00:36:43   game for a while is assuming you don't [TS]

00:36:44   have extensions muscle right well you [TS]

00:36:48   see a lot of young guys with my kids and [TS]

00:36:50   supporting some serious and then they [TS]

00:36:52   got the little got the Cyclops uh [TS]

00:36:54   packets on their head that's got a [TS]

00:36:56   prayer in it is that right yeah well be [TS]

00:36:59   nailed to the door and nobody else I'd [TS]

00:37:02   like to thank God know that yet they [TS]

00:37:03   killed the lamb so don't hurt my kid [TS]

00:37:06   yeah it gets a little confusing to me [TS]

00:37:08   there to think about this [TS]

00:37:10   why is this day different from all other [TS]

00:37:11   days monday am i right [TS]

00:37:13   yeah the other thing to think about is [TS]

00:37:15   and I I don't wanna I don't wanna get in [TS]

00:37:17   trouble [TS]

00:37:17   I think we're already in trouble okay [TS]

00:37:19   think think about another recently [TS]

00:37:23   minted pseudo religious movement that [TS]

00:37:26   started in let's say the fifties or [TS]

00:37:27   sixties ah that came along that involves [TS]

00:37:31   free stress tests in boats right let's [TS]

00:37:34   say for the sake of parties can meet [TS]

00:37:36   this could be a lot of different modern [TS]

00:37:37   religious movements sure what we what we [TS]

00:37:39   know about that well the answer is [TS]

00:37:41   officially not much and that's the point [TS]

00:37:43   because you gotta move up to your levels [TS]

00:37:47   Yeah Yeah Yeah right but you're a winner [TS]

00:37:50   or to your one or two you're basically [TS]

00:37:51   writing checks you get to level three [TS]

00:37:53   and stuff starts to happen and then you [TS]

00:37:56   get that level where you wear your eyes [TS]

00:37:57   will blow out if you're not ready to [TS]

00:37:58   read it well so what happens if you get [TS]

00:38:01   up to 33 third level 30 third level [TS]

00:38:03   right you get the apron they push off a [TS]

00:38:05   cliff [TS]

00:38:06   ok but the banking machine and then you [TS]

00:38:08   realize that its foes it's always been [TS]

00:38:10   the photos [TS]

00:38:11   yeah all the way down and there but the [TS]

00:38:15   thing is if I bump into a 33rd degrees [TS]

00:38:17   let's say for instance member of this [TS]

00:38:20   religion that is based on science sure [TS]

00:38:23   am I gonna know is there going to be [TS]

00:38:26   something where there where they've got [TS]

00:38:28   like a the sides of their hair is white [TS]

00:38:33   sort of like Jimmy to fish or whatever [TS]

00:38:36   okay or is it a thing where their [TS]

00:38:38   eyebrows get really hectic or talking [TS]

00:38:41   about like from the spice something [TS]

00:38:43   happens when there's an accumulation of [TS]

00:38:44   something whether that thatthat's hair [TS]

00:38:45   or the spice or wisdom or or various [TS]

00:38:49   info powers but something [TS]

00:38:50   that will show you that this person's [TS]

00:38:52   they've been in the shit yeah right some [TS]

00:38:53   some kind of a like a like Sheen to [TS]

00:38:57   their coat or a brightness in their eyes [TS]

00:39:00   or their teeth and gums look good like a [TS]

00:39:02   clown nose cold nose some way to [TS]

00:39:05   identify a high-ranking member of this [TS]

00:39:09   particular a knowledge that's right [TS]

00:39:13   that's a really good question that is [TS]

00:39:15   what I'm interested in I understand [TS]

00:39:17   hierarchical systems is what I'm saying [TS]

00:39:19   and in situations where where Jonathan [TS]

00:39:22   prices in a gunnysack yeah you can tell [TS]

00:39:26   at least no spoilers right but you can [TS]

00:39:29   tell he is that the most humbly dressed [TS]

00:39:33   and so even there [TS]

00:39:36   there's a system in place where you can [TS]

00:39:37   say the old guy in the gunnysack is top [TS]

00:39:40   dog was this is the couple of a [TS]

00:39:43   carpenter [TS]

00:39:44   yeah exactly right he's beyond his [TS]

00:39:46   humility and all you pull Gandhi like [TS]

00:39:49   that the guy in the underwear right over [TS]

00:39:52   here he's the head guy [TS]

00:39:53   yeah over here they got no soup yeah [TS]

00:39:56   yeah this guy over here not me not me so [TS]

00:39:58   yeah exactly like Gandhi's wearing [TS]

00:40:00   homespun diaper he could he could afford [TS]

00:40:04   nicer ones he could afford a lot nicer [TS]

00:40:06   ones he could have you ever seen that [TS]

00:40:08   picture of a young Gandhi when he was a [TS]

00:40:09   lawyer in South Africans incredibly [TS]

00:40:11   handsome wearing a three-piece suit with [TS]

00:40:13   the tall tall collared shirt he looks [TS]

00:40:16   tremendous he looks like somebody that [TS]

00:40:18   could work for chase bank who got a can [TS]

00:40:20   it looks tremendous he does look [TS]

00:40:23   tremendous he's very handsome young man [TS]

00:40:25   it was a Hindu John I mean as far as we [TS]

00:40:29   know [TS]

00:40:30   yes ok let's say yes ok ok let's say yes [TS]

00:40:34   for the sake of our but it could be a [TS]

00:40:35   really throws a loop when you think you [TS]

00:40:37   think about the guy in the underwear [TS]

00:40:38   with the crowds and then you find out [TS]

00:40:40   that you know he was like he was he was [TS]

00:40:42   a lawyer you know right John that you [TS]

00:40:45   can't be a lawyer in a diaper for [TS]

00:40:46   Michael the great Morrissey songs but uh [TS]

00:40:48   but but still it's it's very interesting [TS]

00:40:50   she pushed him in 120 the team's 220 [TS]

00:40:52   zzz's all decked out in in western wear [TS]

00:40:55   western wear [TS]

00:40:57   maybe not like John Travolta but yeah [TS]

00:40:59   what Western Western Wear yeah he's got [TS]

00:41:01   the Lariat basically Ricky going to [TS]

00:41:03   mickey's [TS]

00:41:04   but my my my feeling is that you've got [TS]

00:41:07   to be able to look at a cleric and [TS]

00:41:12   recognize some quality in them like [TS]

00:41:17   David Koresh had the darkest sunglasses [TS]

00:41:21   Oh Jim Jones dark sunglasses dark [TS]

00:41:23   sunglasses yes i did he had a big chair [TS]

00:41:25   then you have a big wicker chair like to [TS]

00:41:27   sit in Jim Jones had a big chair I don't [TS]

00:41:29   think David there wasn't room in the inn [TS]

00:41:31   David crashes compound for a big chair [TS]

00:41:33   hmm but he did have like a virgin to [TS]

00:41:37   flowering bed [TS]

00:41:38   ok something to to communicate to [TS]

00:41:41   everybody that he's the big wheel [TS]

00:41:43   ok ok and so that's where that's where I [TS]

00:41:46   get lost like like I walk around I walk [TS]

00:41:52   around with a kind of tempo where you [TS]

00:41:57   under that's right it's all about tempo [TS]

00:41:59   tempo in my religion is not even a meter [TS]

00:42:01   it's it's a temple you gotta you gotta [TS]

00:42:03   you gotta groove [TS]

00:42:04   yeah if you see me walking around you'll [TS]

00:42:06   notice that i have a that I have a tempo [TS]

00:42:08   which communicates that I am the leader [TS]

00:42:09   of my Colt that's true and you would be [TS]

00:42:13   able to pick me out of a crowd got 40 [TS]

00:42:16   people walking around in a big circle [TS]

00:42:17   let's say right I'll I see what you're [TS]

00:42:20   saying and you'd say you'd look around [TS]

00:42:22   you'd be like it's just a bunch of [TS]

00:42:24   undifferentiated people walking in a [TS]

00:42:25   circle right but Dad that's not actually [TS]

00:42:28   the case that's right then you would say [TS]

00:42:30   there's one person's got a little bit [TS]

00:42:32   different tempo felt that way about [TS]

00:42:34   robert de niro walking around in the EMT [TS]

00:42:37   uniforms in heat right before he steals [TS]

00:42:39   the ambulance i'm thinking you know what [TS]

00:42:41   you totally know that's fucking robert [TS]

00:42:42   de niro yeah you're not gonna mistake [TS]

00:42:43   that guy for just an ambulance driver [TS]

00:42:45   no he's not and he's he's at least a [TS]

00:42:48   paramedic [TS]

00:42:49   this is the thing about movies that's [TS]

00:42:51   fake yeah it's true right it's like quit [TS]

00:42:53   you get people to come in there and [TS]

00:42:55   pretend there's somebody else [TS]

00:42:56   yeah there's a lot there's a lot of [TS]

00:42:57   similarities here's the other thing now [TS]

00:42:59   this is I think this is showing the [TS]

00:43:00   wizarding world i'm almost positive this [TS]

00:43:02   is true in the science religion from the [TS]

00:43:04   fifties here's the thing and I'm [TS]

00:43:06   wondering now i have to tell you as I [TS]

00:43:07   sit here today I'm wondering is this [TS]

00:43:08   true of all religions Wizarding or [TS]

00:43:10   otherwise you get a certain idea about [TS]

00:43:13   what this thing is you go to vacation [TS]

00:43:14   bible school you make things with [TS]

00:43:16   popsicle sticks they pour water on your [TS]

00:43:17   head [TS]

00:43:18   you get to drink some wine 5 10 15 years [TS]

00:43:20   ago by you're just moving up a you know [TS]

00:43:25   just a little curve you're learning more [TS]

00:43:26   about your well your knowledge your [TS]

00:43:29   deepen your knowledge of well-known [TS]

00:43:30   topics [TS]

00:43:31   the thing is as far as i know in [TS]

00:43:33   Christianity there's not a day when they [TS]

00:43:34   say okay let's say what's really going [TS]

00:43:36   on here right you don't reach a certain [TS]

00:43:38   level where you've tied enough to get [TS]

00:43:40   behind the curtain you become a six or [TS]

00:43:42   seven in Jesus and you move up in it [TS]

00:43:44   they say no no this is actually you know [TS]

00:43:46   actually it's all about lizard people [TS]

00:43:49   well we don't know though we don't know [TS]

00:43:52   is I've never been there [TS]

00:43:53   I when you're when you go into the [TS]

00:43:54   Cathedral in Sevilla and they come out [TS]

00:43:58   from behind the gold tower a witch all [TS]

00:44:02   the big churches have right they're [TS]

00:44:05   gonna have a gold tower m and the [TS]

00:44:08   priests don't come walking down the [TS]

00:44:09   aisle like they're getting married a [TS]

00:44:11   float [TS]

00:44:11   no they don't and they're not coming up [TS]

00:44:14   on a dumbwaiter they're coming out there [TS]

00:44:17   coming out from behind the gold tower [TS]

00:44:18   you don't know what's back there could [TS]

00:44:20   be no it could be jealous though it [TS]

00:44:22   could be a giant book that says it's all [TS]

00:44:24   about the lizard people [TS]

00:44:25   uh-huh right right right it's like when [TS]

00:44:27   somebody gets when somebody just knocked [TS]

00:44:28   in the gift shrunk right you don't not [TS]

00:44:30   this is dangerous information not [TS]

00:44:32   everybody can know about this [TS]

00:44:33   it's why the the election for the US [TS]

00:44:37   president happens on November third hmm [TS]

00:44:39   but they don't swear min until january [TS]

00:44:41   fifteenth or whatever because that's the [TS]

00:44:44   amount of time you can pour off the [TS]

00:44:46   drives [TS]

00:44:47   no no no they're taking them to area 51 [TS]

00:44:50   they're taken 40 stories down into the [TS]

00:44:52   into the underground caverns and they're [TS]

00:44:54   introducing him to gleep glop and [TS]

00:44:57   they're saying all right now you're the [TS]

00:45:02   president you gotta know Glee Club be [TS]

00:45:03   Club lo abri proper food and the [TS]

00:45:07   president's like shit [TS]

00:45:08   people can't know about this and all the [TS]

00:45:11   generals with the braids on your hats [TS]

00:45:12   are like that's right [TS]

00:45:14   yep but what if one clip clop is just a [TS]

00:45:17   cover story like what if the area 51 [TS]

00:45:20   so what's called that's right like what [TS]

00:45:21   if that is the plausible cover story [TS]

00:45:23   with something that's actually much more [TS]

00:45:25   fucked up that's what I'm saying it's [TS]

00:45:26   glip glops all the way down you [TS]

00:45:28   going to me clip clop and they go you [TS]

00:45:30   know what now you're no t1 welcome [TS]

00:45:33   because I hold the soup cans [TS]

00:45:35   it's about to get really fucking weird [TS]

00:45:36   that's how it happens all the time the [TS]

00:45:38   first Rolling Stone you meet his bill [TS]

00:45:40   wyman and you feel like shit that's from [TS]

00:45:44   that book the five Rolling Stones you [TS]

00:45:45   meet in heaven [TS]

00:45:46   yeah this is bye-bye just I mean a [TS]

00:45:48   rolling stone holy shit you fall on the [TS]

00:45:50   ground you're like whoa it's like Lana [TS]

00:45:53   skateboard tricks that you say to your [TS]

00:45:55   friends holy shit guess what I got to [TS]

00:45:57   meet one of the rolling stones and you [TS]

00:45:58   go holy shit wasn't making out no no I [TS]

00:46:00   was a key [TS]

00:46:01   no Charlie no no it wasn't Roger Waters [TS]

00:46:04   no chuckles was it it was alignment I [TS]

00:46:08   got to meet got to meet my summer [TS]

00:46:10   rainbow and then you realize like a [TS]

00:46:12   little while ago that you go that's [TS]

00:46:13   pretty cool [TS]

00:46:14   that's that's right is he still in the [TS]

00:46:15   band no no I haven't been in the band [TS]

00:46:17   since the night now it's not the band [TS]

00:46:18   anymore but that's cool you got to meet [TS]

00:46:19   him [TS]

00:46:20   that's that's that's nice but why was [TS]

00:46:22   gonna make the nineties look like the [TS]

00:46:23   six but that's the thing you can get me [TS]

00:46:28   Manzarek left hand [TS]

00:46:30   yeah alright that's the bass player of [TS]

00:46:32   the band you uniquely plop your 40 [TS]

00:46:35   stories under the desert haha and you're [TS]

00:46:38   like shit i'm the president of the [TS]

00:46:40   United States just sitting there sipping [TS]

00:46:41   Sun tea watching his stories on TV [TS]

00:46:43   yeah but clip clubs that's got a [TS]

00:46:45   teleprompter inside of his heads up [TS]

00:46:48   display and an eyeball little feedback [TS]

00:46:52   and he's like hold on hold on hold on [TS]

00:46:55   I'm gonna get a message from the big [TS]

00:46:57   transmitter in the sky but really it's [TS]

00:46:59   three guys in a room on the 43rd floor [TS]

00:47:02   right there like club years with tell [TS]

00:47:05   the president [TS]

00:47:06   okay right right right everything you [TS]

00:47:08   had get plus true i'm not only one of my [TS]

00:47:11   kind i totally came here in the fifties [TS]

00:47:13   bleep blop blip club and they went to [TS]

00:47:17   tell him until he's ready right this is [TS]

00:47:18   the whole basis of the system but what [TS]

00:47:20   does the system inside the system [TS]

00:47:22   what if there's a Wizarding World inside [TS]

00:47:23   the what there's any mom calling from [TS]

00:47:25   inside the Imam and what a bleep blorp [TS]

00:47:27   clip-clop clip-clop is just the tip of [TS]

00:47:29   the iceberg [TS]

00:47:31   he has to be right because somewhere I [TS]

00:47:34   mean clocks the one they dropped off [TS]

00:47:36   right right they don't drop off the big [TS]

00:47:39   baby he could be the Zeppo of his planet [TS]

00:47:42   exactly right and they might have [TS]

00:47:44   frankly they might have been like we [TS]

00:47:45   gotta get sleep off of the ship uh below [TS]

00:47:49   okay fine don't take off your gloves not [TS]

00:47:51   here no like not but we gotta do pull a [TS]

00:47:56   Martian on it right just leaving behind [TS]

00:47:58   let him go figure out how to grow stuff [TS]

00:47:59   inside the spaceship [TS]

00:48:00   this is the thing about space Mussolini [TS]

00:48:02   he makes the ship's run on time [TS]

00:48:04   that's so true and it's good i'm not [TS]

00:48:07   back from butterfly collector all of a [TS]

00:48:10   sudden he's 45 stories down under area [TS]

00:48:13   51 with dandelions [TS]

00:48:15   Oh God glee club and I think so this is [TS]

00:48:19   ian is an eldritch figure do you think [TS]

00:48:21   is he is he is he is he's a terrifying [TS]

00:48:23   like old gods kind of otherworldly [TS]

00:48:26   characters you got a cute you think this [TS]

00:48:30   is the thing about greatest the gaseous [TS]

00:48:31   is a gaseous form where they gotta put [TS]

00:48:33   like Groucho glasses on him to even [TS]

00:48:34   likes think he has a face now I think [TS]

00:48:36   he's a gray who because there's just too [TS]

00:48:38   much evidence that the greater real [TS]

00:48:40   right everybody everybody sees the same [TS]

00:48:43   gray except sometimes they're skinny and [TS]

00:48:45   sometimes they're not [TS]

00:48:46   sometimes they're cute and sometimes [TS]

00:48:48   they're not sometimes they have they [TS]

00:48:50   appear underneath the bed and sometimes [TS]

00:48:54   there they don't write sometimes they [TS]

00:48:56   come they come walking down a big [TS]

00:48:58   platform but there's a consistency you [TS]

00:49:00   could do you can make a little kids [TS]

00:49:02   animation flipbook out of your notebook [TS]

00:49:04   with all random different pictures of [TS]

00:49:06   glee clubs from history and then we [TS]

00:49:07   pretty much look like a little cartoon [TS]

00:49:09   sometimes they're very tall they're [TS]

00:49:12   usually narrow they got the big eyes big [TS]

00:49:14   eyes big heads [TS]

00:49:15   yeah Finley bodies sometimes they're [TS]

00:49:18   holding hands like without row i don't [TS]

00:49:22   think they have any home-improvement [TS]

00:49:23   blogs got a blog or going to tell you [TS]

00:49:26   about the different charities that you [TS]

00:49:28   can get and it's not surprising to me [TS]

00:49:30   that there's UFO cult that may actually [TS]

00:49:32   makes a lot of sense it's the chemtrails [TS]

00:49:34   cults that are the better the ones that [TS]

00:49:37   make sense [TS]

00:49:37   maryland yeah i have had ice yeah i got [TS]

00:49:40   called by a good friend the other day [TS]

00:49:42   this guy have known for years he called [TS]

00:49:45   me a chem trails denialist [TS]

00:49:48   I hadn't even heard the terms a nihilist [TS]

00:49:50   i really liked it but he was like your [TS]

00:49:52   chem trails denialist and I was like [TS]

00:49:54   you're a smart guy are you telling me [TS]

00:49:55   that your chem trails affirmative just [TS]

00:49:58   yeah right and he was like someone stop [TS]

00:50:00   shot of that he was like there's just [TS]

00:50:01   too much evidence that they're coming us [TS]

00:50:03   and I said there is zero evidence [TS]

00:50:05   they're coming us it's a lot like [TS]

00:50:09   Twitter this is the thing is a lot like [TS]

00:50:11   Twitter I mean we're basically somebody [TS]

00:50:13   keeps saying the same incorrect thing [TS]

00:50:15   over and over and eventually it seems [TS]

00:50:17   true or at least plausible or at least [TS]

00:50:20   reportable because the same ding-a-lings [TS]

00:50:22   keep saying the same thing over and over [TS]

00:50:24   so now that's a story like like for [TS]

00:50:26   instance that Twitter is worth two [TS]

00:50:27   billion dollars or whatever it is that [TS]

00:50:29   what you're talking about wasn't making [TS]

00:50:30   a dual corn it's no I think Twitter is [TS]

00:50:32   worth more than that is it worth the [TS]

00:50:34   like 72 million d dollars 270 billion [TS]

00:50:38   dollars that's that was my that I think [TS]

00:50:41   that was the last valuation is the high [TS]

00:50:42   valuation job did you see did you see [TS]

00:50:44   what just happened to amazon.com know [TS]

00:50:46   what happened was on that came out with [TS]

00:50:48   some earnings report that's just as fake [TS]

00:50:50   as the old earnings report but all of a [TS]

00:50:51   sudden one day the value of the company [TS]

00:50:53   jumped 35 billion dollars my friend has [TS]

00:50:56   a theory about amazon that i think is [TS]

00:50:57   very interesting because you know they [TS]

00:50:59   never have big profits [TS]

00:51:02   my friend has a theory that they or just [TS]

00:51:05   a funny gasps the Amazon comes up with [TS]

00:51:08   whatever number they want to report for [TS]

00:51:10   his prophets squarely against the [TS]

00:51:13   revenue and they spend everything except [TS]

00:51:14   that amount so that they have some [TS]

00:51:16   amount that they can say that they that [TS]

00:51:17   they made i don't know i mean i'm not a [TS]

00:51:20   statistician but that makes a lot of [TS]

00:51:21   sense to me like they got to show some [TS]

00:51:22   money but they don't want to show too [TS]

00:51:24   much they want to keep that state triple [TS]

00:51:26   going but they got to show something [TS]

00:51:27   once i'm not sure what being an [TS]

00:51:28   aesthetician has to do with it but [TS]

00:51:30   already pop people's it's in a spa [TS]

00:51:32   oh you pop people's it's and they put it [TS]

00:51:34   on the internet and people watch that [TS]

00:51:35   shit is like ASMR day it is people [TS]

00:51:38   people sit and watch zit popping videos [TS]

00:51:40   for hours at a time i can see that when [TS]

00:51:43   I didn't actually see it that's [TS]

00:51:44   horrifying but i can see why that would [TS]

00:51:46   appeal to people i think they and they [TS]

00:51:47   say things like I just had a really hard [TS]

00:51:49   day at work and I want to come home and [TS]

00:51:51   just relax watch that watch some zit [TS]

00:51:53   popping hollow but my so this is the [TS]

00:51:56   thing if you go back and i don't know [TS]

00:51:58   why but I've been saying here's the [TS]

00:52:00   thing a lot more [TS]

00:52:01   lately and I feel like that's that was [TS]

00:52:03   our original way of talking to each [TS]

00:52:06   other but then that than that guy from [TS]

00:52:08   30 rock took it and now i can I can't [TS]

00:52:11   even say what I don't think he's heavily [TS]

00:52:12   involved in that show [TS]

00:52:14   really he just shows up and read the [TS]

00:52:16   read the script [TS]

00:52:18   well you know we should save that for [TS]

00:52:20   another day but I think there's a kind [TS]

00:52:21   of podcast for somebody famous just sort [TS]

00:52:23   of shows up sort of like you [TS]

00:52:25   yeah well ah the Amazon earnings report [TS]

00:52:29   feels to me exactly like the what if I [TS]

00:52:32   went back in time but still had my [TS]

00:52:35   smartphone a daydream [TS]

00:52:39   oh we're like look if I start betting on [TS]

00:52:42   penny stocks because i'm googling [TS]

00:52:44   through through the time whole i'm able [TS]

00:52:48   to use google and I'm able to say it's [TS]

00:52:50   january third of 1954 what was the best [TS]

00:52:54   performing penny stock or your BF your [TS]

00:52:58   beef with the sports on the neck your [TS]

00:52:59   bit with the sports Almanac kind of kind [TS]

00:53:01   of right but you don't want to you don't [TS]

00:53:05   want to give away the the whole game [TS]

00:53:07   right if you're if you just if you're [TS]

00:53:09   the stock guy that's never wrong part of [TS]

00:53:11   being a hustler is losing a lot of first [TS]

00:53:13   that's right you got to lose and you got [TS]

00:53:15   it you got a periodically lose big [TS]

00:53:17   uh-huh so that everybody's like well [TS]

00:53:20   he's not that smart [TS]

00:53:21   hmm then little by little you're you're [TS]

00:53:23   you're actually win it big but certainly [TS]

00:53:26   opposite of being a tech analyst where [TS]

00:53:28   you get a couple things right at first [TS]

00:53:29   and then just wrong for 20 years [TS]

00:53:31   yeah or like made silver are well who [TS]

00:53:34   are you [TS]

00:53:35   we squeeze our he's no okay alright I'm [TS]

00:53:37   here with you know he's he's explained [TS]

00:53:40   why he got things wrong when he got it [TS]

00:53:41   wrong that's true i don't believe that [TS]

00:53:43   he's dishonest i believe that he's going [TS]

00:53:46   to know that is interesting this stuff [TS]

00:53:47   started with playing lots of online [TS]

00:53:49   poker if you start your career playing [TS]

00:53:53   online poker I'm gonna trust you [TS]

00:53:55   I'm gonna trust you intrinsically [TS]

00:53:56   because you stopped because and it's a [TS]

00:53:58   gentleman's game [TS]

00:53:59   that's true but but right now x in that [TS]

00:54:02   business so I feel like Amazon is doing [TS]

00:54:05   exactly what you say which is like we [TS]

00:54:07   are we're making so much money home [TS]

00:54:11   delivering toilet paper [TS]

00:54:13   that we have to do we have to give up [TS]

00:54:16   some numbers to throw people off the [TS]

00:54:18   scent to look like were flopping because [TS]

00:54:21   one day we're sinking sand bagging their [TS]

00:54:23   sandbag one day we're going to do it and [TS]

00:54:25   earnings report that's like a corrective [TS]

00:54:28   we're all of a sudden our company is [TS]

00:54:31   worth 35 billion more magic chips magic [TS]

00:54:37   earth monies yes 35 billion of them more [TS]

00:54:41   one day to account for the 20 years [TS]

00:54:45   we've been telling you that we've been [TS]

00:54:46   making no money at delivering toilet [TS]

00:54:49   paper or you know or or ruining the [TS]

00:54:51   publishing business [TS]

00:54:53   yeah so I mean I hate to start talking [TS]

00:54:57   about amazon in this town because [TS]

00:54:58   they're the defacto a government here [TS]

00:55:02   now if you walk around and you see [TS]

00:55:06   somebody with the top knot and you say [TS]

00:55:08   something bad about Amazon there's this [TS]

00:55:10   much opportunity as much chance that [TS]

00:55:12   they're going to have you dragged into [TS]

00:55:14   the bushes and and shown not glipglop [TS]

00:55:18   uh-huh but shown some because they've [TS]

00:55:20   never seen glee club either but shown [TS]

00:55:22   some thing some like what's gonna happen [TS]

00:55:25   is that all of a sudden when you go on [TS]

00:55:28   amazon it's going to say just because [TS]

00:55:30   you like this dildo [TS]

00:55:32   here's a list of 40 dildos and you're [TS]

00:55:34   like I didn't like it don't know why are [TS]

00:55:35   you doing this to me [TS]

00:55:36   stop hitting yourself exactly met you [TS]

00:55:39   know and you're trying to show you're [TS]

00:55:40   trying to show your kids or your or your [TS]

00:55:42   lady friend something that you want to [TS]

00:55:44   get on amazon for Christmas and on those [TS]

00:55:46   I'll does she still goes all the way [TS]

00:55:48   down [TS]

00:55:49   yeah and you're like shit no no why are [TS]

00:55:51   you doing this in somebody and some some [TS]

00:55:53   top top not amazon's like him [TS]

00:55:56   i'm sorry but i'm surprised to even [TS]

00:55:57   acknowledge you how are things going [TS]

00:55:59   with it in fact I don't derail you but [TS]

00:56:01   we have a lot more discuss about [TS]

00:56:02   Hogwarts but by the way today is the the [TS]

00:56:04   anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts so [TS]

00:56:06   I was alright [TS]

00:56:07   oh yeah usually on lot a lot a lot of [TS]

00:56:10   good people were lost that day [TS]

00:56:11   what is OS may second so there are there [TS]

00:56:14   won't be any riots in seattle in a [TS]

00:56:15   second but we're going to ask how is my [TS]

00:56:18   oh how are things going with the the [TS]

00:56:20   white t people the wet t 00 is there any [TS]

00:56:25   I guess I'm asking is there any is there [TS]

00:56:26   anything [TS]

00:56:27   changing any breakthroughs so about a [TS]

00:56:29   week ago I got off the elevator and the [TS]

00:56:31   entire hallway was filled with what [TS]

00:56:34   appeared to be children and then as I [TS]

00:56:38   got closer to them i realized that they [TS]

00:56:40   were let's call them teens and then I [TS]

00:56:45   was intermingle and then I was amongst [TS]

00:56:48   them they are clogging the hallway and [TS]

00:56:51   in the style of teens they have no no [TS]

00:56:54   awareness of anyone but themselves [TS]

00:56:56   yeah so they're not like clear a path [TS]

00:56:59   for this dinosaur whose strolling [TS]

00:57:02   through our midst [TS]

00:57:03   they're just like all milling around in [TS]

00:57:04   the hallway and I'm trying to win now [TS]

00:57:06   I'm lending and as I'm lending I realize [TS]

00:57:11   oh maybe these are teens maybe I'd [TS]

00:57:14   become that person who no longer can [TS]

00:57:16   distinguish you can tell you can't tell [TS]

00:57:18   now you get as you get good at telling [TS]

00:57:21   the age of somebody below 11 [TS]

00:57:23   yeah you get really bad at anybody who's [TS]

00:57:25   between let's say 18 and 40 so I look at [TS]

00:57:28   a kid you're absolutely right i look at [TS]

00:57:30   a kid now time like your four and three [TS]

00:57:31   quarters aren't you [TS]

00:57:32   I can get you can you you're like to [TS]

00:57:33   make a carnival you know what age that [TS]

00:57:35   kid is yeah and but you're inhibited in [TS]

00:57:39   saying to that child's parents although [TS]

00:57:41   you desperately want to show up the [TS]

00:57:43   skill your kids for three quarters isn't [TS]

00:57:45   it yeah but you don't say that to the [TS]

00:57:48   parents because if you are wrong boy [TS]

00:57:51   it is the kind of wrong you don't want [TS]

00:57:53   to be ya if the kid is three and you're [TS]

00:57:56   saying four and three-quarters there's [TS]

00:57:57   an implication that your child is [TS]

00:57:58   freakishly big or I mean you know you [TS]

00:58:01   want to think that's a compliment [TS]

00:58:03   uh-huh like oh wow your kids seems to be [TS]

00:58:05   a year now my experience including you [TS]

00:58:07   know just just being me I can find a way [TS]

00:58:09   to turn anything into an insult right [TS]

00:58:11   you're like is your kid for three [TS]

00:58:13   quarters and we can see that he's seven [TS]

00:58:15   you're like oh shit I'm sorry he's [TS]

00:58:18   really cute for his age seems to be [TS]

00:58:20   developing nicely 400m oculus haha but [TS]

00:58:24   but so I'm walking through this crowd [TS]

00:58:26   like are these kids 24 are they 16 I [TS]

00:58:28   can't tell the difference there here it [TS]

00:58:29   seems like without a chaperone so I [TS]

00:58:31   don't think they're 16 but I don't know [TS]

00:58:33   about modern teens maybe they're all [TS]

00:58:35   wandering around in groups of 14 out [TS]

00:58:37   like the Dutch they've all gotten so big [TS]

00:58:39   you [TS]

00:58:40   right but I but looking at their faces [TS]

00:58:42   I'm like so they're here they're they're [TS]

00:58:45   coming out of the tea place and they're [TS]

00:58:48   milling around in my hallway and you [TS]

00:58:50   know and there's a part of me that was [TS]

00:58:51   just like say hey wise up [TS]

00:58:55   first of all get out of my way second of [TS]

00:58:57   all wise up [TS]

00:58:59   it's smarter faster a butt and then they [TS]

00:59:02   all they all start to no one says okay [TS]

00:59:06   everybody come on [TS]

00:59:08   but they all start to move as a as it as [TS]

00:59:11   a pack all still chatting to one another [TS]

00:59:14   but they're moving and they're moving in [TS]

00:59:16   the same direction that I'm moving so i [TS]

00:59:18   was wending but they have damn that [TS]

00:59:20   sounds like it's hard to believe I'm [TS]

00:59:21   interrupting but is it hard to believe [TS]

00:59:22   that from Seattle it seems like one of [TS]

00:59:24   the basic skills would be like making [TS]

00:59:26   your way around the city and not running [TS]

00:59:28   into people and getting out of people's [TS]

00:59:29   way I have no idea where they're from [TS]

00:59:31   that's the other thing they could they [TS]

00:59:32   could be from Idaho they could be i know [TS]

00:59:35   they're not from i know i would [TS]

00:59:36   recognize Idaho's Idaho's but they could [TS]

00:59:40   be from California they could be the [TS]

00:59:41   advanced wave of a teen invasion [TS]

00:59:43   yeah and so I'm lending often they are [TS]

00:59:46   moving now we're moving in a pack we're [TS]

00:59:48   all I'm moving slightly faster right so [TS]

00:59:51   I'm moving through again you're going to [TS]

00:59:54   see if you're looking at this from on [TS]

00:59:55   high [TS]

00:59:56   if your clip clop looking into you're [TS]

00:59:58   looking into your mom [TS]

00:59:58   looking into your mom [TS]

01:00:00   another you're going to see that i have [TS]

01:00:02   a temp oh that's different from the [TS]

01:00:04   tempo of this of this slow-moving gas [TS]

01:00:07   cloud but I can't now I can't escape [TS]

01:00:12   being in this group because they're [TS]

01:00:14   they've expanded to take up the entire [TS]

01:00:16   space like a gill net like moving net [TS]

01:00:18   yeah so I'm be it i'm the you know I'm [TS]

01:00:21   the halibut trying to get back to the [TS]

01:00:24   mud and they are like whoo [TS]

01:00:27   and you're just I'm like traveling along [TS]

01:00:29   with the same speed as the net trying to [TS]

01:00:30   avoid either the front or the back of it [TS]

01:00:33   come on guys make a hole and then that's [TS]

01:00:35   right make a hole and then eventually [TS]

01:00:36   they turn to go into the they turn to go [TS]

01:00:39   down the stairs and i managed to wind in [TS]

01:00:43   such a way that I don't touch anyone and [TS]

01:00:46   get like oxy 10 on me or oxycontin on me [TS]

01:00:52   and then I'm out but I'm like what's [TS]

01:00:55   going on in that tea place I I really [TS]

01:00:58   feel like I feel like it's not what it [TS]

01:01:01   appears to be and it's not even the [TS]

01:01:03   secondary level of wood CII when you [TS]

01:01:06   whatever we do record that episode a few [TS]

01:01:07   weeks ago my feeling was that somebody [TS]

01:01:10   is summer listener said oh is it [TS]

01:01:11   something going to come bucho there are [TS]

01:01:13   people who had tea suggestions and it [TS]

01:01:15   made sense but I honestly thought that [TS]

01:01:16   by this week by this recording it would [TS]

01:01:19   become clear that this was some kind of [TS]

01:01:21   a normal and noble thing [TS]

01:01:22   nope not at all I when I sleep when I [TS]

01:01:25   look in the door there are bins and bins [TS]

01:01:27   and bins upon bins and I way of wet t [TS]

01:01:31   think within those teeth within those [TS]

01:01:33   bins there are teas and their arty [TS]

01:01:35   flavorings there RT additives like when [TS]

01:01:38   I look at pictures of tea growing in the [TS]

01:01:40   wild in china and other places where T [TS]

01:01:44   grows there's no lap saying [TS]

01:01:48   sushant there's no orange pekoe like [TS]

01:01:53   there's just it's just appears to me to [TS]

01:01:55   be T or very variations on T and then [TS]

01:01:59   you've got to be adding the orange right [TS]

01:02:02   and i'm not sure where the oranges a [TS]

01:02:04   missed or whether you throw some peels [TS]

01:02:05   in there [TS]

01:02:07   yeah like what makes the different kinds [TS]

01:02:10   of t different from one another [TS]

01:02:11   I mean sure you're growing different [TS]

01:02:13   varieties of tea but not and I was like [TS]

01:02:17   back to your example of making beer it [TS]

01:02:18   isn't like you buy everything in beer [TS]

01:02:21   except water and add water that wouldn't [TS]

01:02:23   be beer [TS]

01:02:24   there's no such thing as instant beer in [TS]

01:02:26   this case even make instant he let alone [TS]

01:02:27   wet tiered righty you have to commingle [TS]

01:02:30   many items in some kind of hygienic [TS]

01:02:32   environment you add in certain flowers [TS]

01:02:34   and aged a certain way right [TS]

01:02:36   it sounds very artful if you're making [TS]

01:02:38   mint tea if you're making raspberry [TS]

01:02:39   hibiscus tea just by its very nature it [TS]

01:02:43   by its it's right there in the name [TS]

01:02:45   you're gonna add some point along the [TS]

01:02:47   way have to have a bin of hibiscus and [TS]

01:02:50   you're gonna sprinkle some hibiscus in [TS]

01:02:52   there I don't know why there's not meant [TS]

01:02:54   abyss castie you could do a little bit [TS]

01:02:55   of both [TS]

01:02:56   maybe that's what these people are doing [TS]

01:02:58   and then they're adding water and then [TS]

01:03:00   they're selling wet t two people I I [TS]

01:03:04   want to go back to go to instant beer [TS]

01:03:06   why is there no instant beer so seems [TS]

01:03:10   like NASA probably has this but they're [TS]

01:03:12   they're hiding it with glee club [TS]

01:03:14   I bet somewhere there's been some [TS]

01:03:16   astronaut they really want to get up [TS]

01:03:17   there except you know a little bit of a [TS]

01:03:19   drinker right okay [TS]

01:03:20   similarly this guy's got the science but [TS]

01:03:22   we have to entice him some ok here's [TS]

01:03:24   your span here's your tang and then just [TS]

01:03:27   for you [TS]

01:03:28   these packets when you add space water [TS]

01:03:30   to make space beer and and there and the [TS]

01:03:34   space beer guy [TS]

01:03:36   yes why it hasn't been made I don't know [TS]

01:03:37   it seems to me that could be something [TS]

01:03:39   they make with your SodaStream likey all [TS]

01:03:41   you need is carbonation plus beer parts [TS]

01:03:43   should you be able to buy beer parts [TS]

01:03:45   that already have all the performance [TS]

01:03:46   characteristics and just add soda water [TS]

01:03:48   to it so let me get this straight [TS]

01:03:49   there's us there is a there is it within [TS]

01:03:52   the space program [TS]

01:03:53   mhm it's a specific set of skills like [TS]

01:03:56   for instance if you're going to go to [TS]

01:03:57   Mars and you want a botanist yeah right [TS]

01:04:00   or let's say do you remember the movie [TS]

01:04:03   russia house and I know the name was my [TS]

01:04:06   fur Michelle Pfeiffer and sean connery [TS]

01:04:08   mm and at one point a Royce Scheider is [TS]

01:04:12   running a running an operation roy [TS]

01:04:15   scheider is like the he's that sort of [TS]

01:04:18   he's the high and tight top [TS]

01:04:20   CIA guy got it and then as every [TS]

01:04:25   rendition of the cni so I'm sorry to use [TS]

01:04:28   the word rendition but every rendition [TS]

01:04:30   of the CIA in film includes one very [TS]

01:04:35   flamboyantly either gay or or artistic [TS]

01:04:40   real eccentric where you're like what is [TS]

01:04:45   this how does this like the guy from [TS]

01:04:46   community in the Martian right isn't he [TS]

01:04:49   may not manic a fella but he's obviously [TS]

01:04:52   is very artistic and you exactly and you [TS]

01:04:54   say that you're always hearing about how [TS]

01:04:57   hard it is to get into the CIA and they [TS]

01:04:59   do all these background checks on you [TS]

01:05:00   and they don't want there to be any kind [TS]

01:05:02   of funny business [TS]

01:05:03   uh-huh but then in this film there's [TS]

01:05:05   this like 65 year old guy who used to [TS]

01:05:08   work for the OSS who is walking around [TS]

01:05:12   like Rip Torn and uh and you go all how [TS]

01:05:20   does this make sense but then again it [TS]

01:05:21   perfectly makes sense so you're saying [TS]

01:05:24   within the astronaut corps there's [TS]

01:05:25   someone like that except he's more like [TS]

01:05:28   foster Brooks but he's got skills that [TS]

01:05:32   we need in space [TS]

01:05:33   yeah I think desperately he might be [TS]

01:05:35   played today by kurt russell ok right as [TS]

01:05:39   kind of like a combination is snake [TS]

01:05:41   plissken as a comic drunk [TS]

01:05:44   uh-huh meets some kind of a science [TS]

01:05:46   boffin a science boffin yeah like he's a [TS]

01:05:49   smarty pants but like he's got a reason [TS]

01:05:51   to want to make space beer [TS]

01:05:53   you know you're right well if you're a [TS]

01:05:56   lot like doing it so long little louder [TS]

01:05:58   to be drunk in space [TS]

01:05:59   why is there i feel like this is some [TS]

01:06:03   kind of artisanal thing something that [TS]

01:06:06   we should without it I don't think you [TS]

01:06:08   and I have the power to set loose an [TS]

01:06:10   army of topknots but but there is an [TS]

01:06:14   army of top like death eaters well [TS]

01:06:16   here's the thing also you think about [TS]

01:06:17   the top nuts with the top not love a [TS]

01:06:19   topknot loves anything artisanal and [TS]

01:06:21   small-batch well still love love hiking [TS]

01:06:23   right [TS]

01:06:24   they love going out and being able to [TS]

01:06:26   hike the things are you going to carry a [TS]

01:06:28   couple half racks on top your topknot [TS]

01:06:29   know it can be hard and you gotta take [TS]

01:06:31   out what you put you bring in [TS]

01:06:33   what if we give you our single instant [TS]

01:06:35   beer so when you go on wherever you go [TS]

01:06:37   when you walk around in the in the [TS]

01:06:39   Pacific Northwest you could make it [TS]

01:06:43   instant beer that's not heavy nor [TS]

01:06:45   environmentally impactful one thing that [TS]

01:06:48   topic one thing a hiking topknot likes [TS]

01:06:51   about hiking is they love to drink river [TS]

01:06:54   water [TS]

01:06:54   mm right this is the thing that people [TS]

01:06:56   don't know about topknots because in a [TS]

01:06:58   lot of places I never knew that I feel [TS]

01:07:00   like I'm getting an education right now [TS]

01:07:01   well this is the this is the clip [TS]

01:07:02   clopping right this yeah the glee club [TS]

01:07:04   is not he's not the head clip clop he's [TS]

01:07:07   just the bees the butterfly collector [TS]

01:07:09   yeah the top knots it that you're [TS]

01:07:10   meeting like out in the town are are [TS]

01:07:15   just the they're the they're the Mike [TS]

01:07:17   Mills is uh topknot culture I get you [TS]

01:07:21   the real ones like that now I mean the [TS]

01:07:23   stormtroopers right there that guy [TS]

01:07:25   they're not making it an administrative [TS]

01:07:26   executive decisions in the top notch ah [TS]

01:07:28   hierarchy those guys are high up high [TS]

01:07:31   high up in the mountains drinking river [TS]

01:07:32   water and each other don't even give a [TS]

01:07:35   nod and the and they don't give a nod [TS]

01:07:37   and the thing because they're all you [TS]

01:07:38   mean they don't have to not at each [TS]

01:07:40   other right they're like they're like [TS]

01:07:41   Eskimos they don't need to talk a lot [TS]

01:07:43   like Carly aren't there a lot like [TS]

01:07:44   Cardinals but they're the Cardinals of [TS]

01:07:46   Tardos a top-notch am and they're up [TS]

01:07:49   there and they don't get Giardia because [TS]

01:07:53   they're putting instant beer in the [TS]

01:07:55   river water temp ear [TS]

01:07:59   oh I see what you're saying so this is a [TS]

01:08:01   little bit like you come over on the [TS]

01:08:03   Mayflower you bring some hardtack and [TS]

01:08:05   johnnycake and you got some cast for a [TS]

01:08:07   beer even the kids drinking beer because [TS]

01:08:08   that doesn't have a john carlo in it [TS]

01:08:10   wasn't right it doesn't have the john [TS]

01:08:12   carlo right GRE Giardia yeah which is [TS]

01:08:15   also a brand of gluten free spaghetti [TS]

01:08:17   mm but when I data my yeah my suspicion [TS]

01:08:21   is that it's like sourdough right and I [TS]

01:08:24   and and i bet you i swear to god i bet [TS]

01:08:26   you right now there are some top not [TS]

01:08:28   somewhere with making some kind of [TS]

01:08:30   artist artisanal sourdough because [TS]

01:08:32   sourdough was the original hardest final [TS]

01:08:35   thing when i was a kid in the seventies [TS]

01:08:37   and all the top knots of the day were [TS]

01:08:41   were talking about sourdough we're [TS]

01:08:44   making sourdough this had their own [TS]

01:08:46   little pile of sourdough that will get [TS]

01:08:48   you started talking to Poland yeah they [TS]

01:08:50   were read their sourdough was rotting on [TS]

01:08:51   the kitchen counter just like you know [TS]

01:08:53   every house you went to Anchorage 75 had [TS]

01:08:56   a little pile of sourdough somewhere [TS]

01:08:58   getting hot [TS]

01:08:59   mm and I don't know I haven't heard [TS]

01:09:02   about any of these sort of olives and [TS]

01:09:05   anchovies [TS]

01:09:06   people also pursuing sourdough but it's [TS]

01:09:10   got to be next on the chain if I hear [TS]

01:09:12   you correctly not only is this a lot [TS]

01:09:14   like the Roman Catholic Church or are [TS]

01:09:16   the wizarding world you know that via [TS]

01:09:19   Hogwarts it's also it's got a business [TS]

01:09:21   model but we can't see it's got a Glee [TS]

01:09:23   Club business model [TS]

01:09:24   yeah there's something much deeper than [TS]

01:09:26   just a bunch of wet t an artist [TS]

01:09:27   encaustic painting warehouse you're [TS]

01:09:29   saying this could go a lot this kid this [TS]

01:09:30   is the glee club to the area 51 what I [TS]

01:09:33   want to know like I had a tweetup the [TS]

01:09:35   other day who are you did you're in san [TS]

01:09:37   francisco a tweetup a tweetup and just [TS]

01:09:41   just as a just a random random sampling [TS]

01:09:44   of of our audience [TS]

01:09:46   although not completely random because [TS]

01:09:47   my tweetup was in the lower haight in [TS]

01:09:49   San Francisco so it's a random sampling [TS]

01:09:52   of our audience that can get to the [TS]

01:09:54   lower haight in San Francisco nate [TS]

01:09:57   silver wood on control for that right [TS]

01:10:00   right you can't say this is everybody [TS]

01:10:02   writing using in i have a tweetup in [TS]

01:10:04   Kansas City and there are a bunch of [TS]

01:10:05   people that came to that and they're [TS]

01:10:07   they're not well but but you know what [TS]

01:10:09   there are a lot of similarities between [TS]

01:10:10   those two groups if we were going to [TS]

01:10:12   activate an army [TS]

01:10:14   yes you and I if we were going to say [TS]

01:10:15   we're going to Manchurian Candidate some [TS]

01:10:18   situation here where like army of [TS]

01:10:21   rhetoric on the line listeners rally to [TS]

01:10:24   my flag to me my x-men we would be we [TS]

01:10:29   would be set for life in terms of apps [TS]

01:10:32   we would be able to develop any app we [TS]

01:10:35   wanted really [TS]

01:10:36   we have we would have hardware and [TS]

01:10:39   software people across a variety of [TS]

01:10:40   platforms we will be able full-stack [TS]

01:10:42   podcasting fan gotta do it all stem to [TS]

01:10:45   stern soup-to-nuts we would be able to [TS]

01:10:47   we would be able to put apps on Android [TS]

01:10:50   platforms we would be able to put apps [TS]

01:10:52   on Microsoft phones both of like we we [TS]

01:10:56   could do almost anything within the apps [TS]

01:10:59   here that's a lot of power John but we [TS]

01:11:03   couldn't activate a single topknot i'll [TS]

01:11:06   come on now I didn't see a single one [TS]

01:11:08   everybody had normal hair I think you've [TS]

01:11:10   shamed the top knots in the home brewers [TS]

01:11:11   and the brewers are very very sad well [TS]

01:11:13   you know the thing about this is i don't [TS]

01:11:15   want to them i want to reach out to them [TS]

01:11:16   i had this tweet up at the very brewpub [TS]

01:11:20   that i was teasing in the in the famous [TS]

01:11:26   brewpub episode [TS]

01:11:27   mm so i tried to make it up to them i [TS]

01:11:29   tried to I tried to correct the [TS]

01:11:30   imbalance I tried to he handed the Hoffs [TS]

01:11:33   branch i tried to take my my a teasing [TS]

01:11:37   back and say in fact this is a lovely [TS]

01:11:40   brewpub let's all meet there i'm not [TS]

01:11:42   sure how many of our listeners knew that [TS]

01:11:43   they were in the they were in the [TS]

01:11:45   titular brought that is d catalog only [TS]

01:11:47   Nixon going to China only rider can go [TS]

01:11:49   to the brewpub we go back to the group [TS]

01:11:51   up and say actually isn't this a [TS]

01:11:52   wonderful place and everyone had only [TS]

01:11:53   time nice but what I'm wondering is who [TS]

01:11:56   are the Merlin man's and John Roderick's [TS]

01:12:00   of topknot culture who are the people [TS]

01:12:03   that could say rally to my flag [TS]

01:12:06   oh I I finally heard the Lumineers i was [TS]

01:12:11   at a wedding and I was in a car and they [TS]

01:12:13   were listening to the Lumineers now it's [TS]

01:12:15   one of those things it's like Donald [TS]

01:12:17   hollister and the word bag gets that [TS]

01:12:18   gets you but what is it when you have a [TS]

01:12:20   diamond remember on that girl here's a [TS]

01:12:22   word for the first time I guess what [TS]

01:12:24   that call was that syndrome called me [TS]

01:12:26   here where for the first time you start [TS]

01:12:28   hearing it everywhere [TS]

01:12:29   oh it's called the slug slug syndrome [TS]

01:12:32   where now I'd it'sit's Lumineers all the [TS]

01:12:35   way down i heard a song exploiter on the [TS]

01:12:37   Lumineers and how they write their songs [TS]

01:12:38   and they stomp ya now there every night [TS]

01:12:41   but do you think do you think the [TS]

01:12:42   Lumineers might be the rock on the line [TS]

01:12:44   of topknots know because i feel like the [TS]

01:12:46   Lumineers are the glue 'plop-top ok [TS]

01:12:49   right like they look like the leaders [TS]

01:12:51   but they're not the butterfly like it [TS]

01:12:54   right and you want to go back and you [TS]

01:12:55   want to say our Mumford & Sons the the [TS]

01:12:57   the leaders no I don't think so although [TS]

01:13:00   they might be the they might be the Shan [TS]

01:13:03   chooses ok ok there's somebody up the [TS]

01:13:07   chain who is who is saying who's [TS]

01:13:12   who is making the connections between [TS]

01:13:14   brass fittings between leather leather [TS]

01:13:19   work like wallets that are kind of [TS]

01:13:21   unusable but pretty like if you go into [TS]

01:13:24   a store like that's a pretty wall and [TS]

01:13:26   then you pick it up and you're like I'm [TS]

01:13:27   going to put this in my pocket not [TS]

01:13:28   really [TS]

01:13:29   ok pocketbooks and stuff where it's like [TS]

01:13:31   nobody uses pocketbooks but they're [TS]

01:13:34   getting made and and art are artists and [TS]

01:13:38   no beer and a and a big trays of food [TS]

01:13:42   where it's all covered with leeks a [TS]

01:13:44   butcher classes butcher classes mh-60r [TS]

01:13:48   bikes that still a thing absolutely [TS]

01:13:49   fixes are on their own kind of a [TS]

01:13:52   mustache waxes and all the body wax is [TS]

01:13:54   the oil except for the vagina waxes know [TS]

01:13:58   this is the thing although this is what [TS]

01:14:00   I don't know are there are no say no [TS]

01:14:02   vagina waxes I would have to think there [TS]

01:14:04   are its gonna be like it's gonna be [TS]

01:14:05   locally sourced products might be wax it [TS]

01:14:08   might be instead of beeswax it could be [TS]

01:14:10   like be your it could be something [TS]

01:14:11   that's good for everybody it's like [TS]

01:14:12   spider sugar right it's good for [TS]

01:14:14   everybody and you can go in but see I [TS]

01:14:16   don't know now is a politically [TS]

01:14:17   incorrect to get out to get a wax if [TS]

01:14:19   you're innocent lady also i don't know [TS]

01:14:21   about if you wanna get your butthole [TS]

01:14:23   bleached you probably don't use bleach [TS]

01:14:24   they probably have something else [TS]

01:14:25   something again something green such as [TS]

01:14:27   something with you know there is might [TS]

01:14:29   not be bleach it might be like to its [TS]

01:14:31   beer and you already got to be your mrs [TS]

01:14:33   meyers or something yeah i know i think [TS]

01:14:35   it's from from my understanding everyone [TS]

01:14:38   even the top knots now are so complete [TS]

01:14:40   their minds are so completely polluted [TS]

01:14:42   by porn that no one can even see a pubic [TS]

01:14:44   hair anymore [TS]

01:14:45   one single pubic hair and and it's just [TS]

01:14:48   like it's like a vomitorium [TS]

01:14:50   yeah it's still it's like a Scarlet [TS]

01:14:52   Letter but you near near your legal [TS]

01:14:54   unless unless you make it all the way [TS]

01:14:56   through to the other side where you're [TS]

01:14:57   like no I'm cultivating my body hair [TS]

01:14:59   that's on the other side of the whole I [TS]

01:15:02   think it's on the other side of the hole [TS]

01:15:03   right because you're cold you're trying [TS]

01:15:05   to cultivate everything uh-huh [TS]

01:15:06   if you're taking butcher class now [TS]

01:15:07   you're almost surely every part of the [TS]

01:15:09   Buffalo yeah that's right i'm sure [TS]

01:15:11   you've got a you've gotta a bush like a [TS]

01:15:14   like if you go to home depot and you [TS]

01:15:17   walk down the still while [TS]

01:15:23   ok you flopping your flippers and I'm [TS]

01:15:30   gonna flip because now i'm thinking of [TS]

01:15:32   the last episode of season 5 of game of [TS]

01:15:34   thrones and I'm thinking that blindly [TS]

01:15:35   having to walk naked down the aisles at [TS]

01:15:37   home depot when people throw things at [TS]

01:15:38   her [TS]

01:15:38   uh-huh that's right 400 poor blonde lady [TS]

01:15:44   impossible on Lady spoiler alert she had [TS]

01:15:46   a body double for that [TS]

01:15:47   oh well of course you know uh you know [TS]

01:15:50   but a game of thrones has more [TS]

01:15:53   superfluous breasts then the movie [TS]

01:15:58   airplane [TS]

01:15:59   ok alright that's good that there's a [TS]

01:16:02   control group finally a control group i [TS]

01:16:04   meant gratuitous rather than superfluous [TS]

01:16:06   but both gratuitous and superfluous know [TS]

01:16:09   you can't really say breast is [TS]

01:16:10   superfluous unless it's like a fifth one [TS]

01:16:12   right by me if you got like four that's [TS]

01:16:15   point2 normal reasons threes threes kind [TS]

01:16:18   of a you know an oddity right for you [TS]

01:16:20   got remulla some ramen ramen [TS]

01:16:22   that's right you can raise Roman Roman [TS]

01:16:24   twins formulas and Romulan right but 45 [TS]

01:16:28   is that it could be surprised or could [TS]

01:16:30   be you know what it could be vestigial I [TS]

01:16:32   feel like the fifth ones for the runs [TS]

01:16:34   oh sure your knee you ever know anybody [TS]

01:16:37   with a vestigial tail know I've known [TS]

01:16:40   people with the with the sixth toe [TS]

01:16:43   yeah that's pretty common especially in [TS]

01:16:44   Ohio I've known people who have a little [TS]

01:16:46   bit of a tail [TS]

01:16:47   I've never seen it but I've heard about [TS]

01:16:49   it really yeah you can get a little bit [TS]

01:16:51   of a tail let's look at your spine keeps [TS]

01:16:53   going out and makes a little bit of tail [TS]

01:16:54   what do you what does that look like in [TS]

01:16:55   jeans I don't know I think you probably [TS]

01:16:57   have to do a princess lay on it kind of [TS]

01:16:59   bind it down it's something like like in [TS]

01:17:02   gay culture where you wear a little bit [TS]

01:17:03   bro tanks should have put a brown [TS]

01:17:05   handkerchief in your left pocket April [TS]

01:17:06   flag on it you can make a little hole in [TS]

01:17:08   your jeans for it if you're walking [TS]

01:17:09   along and you're looking at somebody's [TS]

01:17:11   butt and then all of a sudden right [TS]

01:17:13   above there right above the but a middle [TS]

01:17:15   part yeah but classic metal part yes all [TS]

01:17:18   well it's called the cleft k then [TS]

01:17:20   there's a little thing wiggling in there [TS]

01:17:21   i think you're going to differentiate [TS]

01:17:22   yourself in a busy bar are you going to [TS]

01:17:24   say is that lemmiwinks or is that a [TS]

01:17:27   vestigial tail think about how a monkey [TS]

01:17:29   or a cat uses their tails for balance [TS]

01:17:31   you could be probably one of the most [TS]

01:17:33   balanced people in the bar even with a [TS]

01:17:34   very very very modest tail [TS]

01:17:36   I'm so desperate to be one of the most [TS]

01:17:39   balanced people in the bar [TS]

01:17:40   join the club in our battle Hogwarts [TS]

01:17:45   picking a doctor picking a doctor [TS]

01:17:49   yeah what's gonna happen to us I don't [TS]

01:17:52   know I don't know you know I got a lot [TS]

01:17:53   of problems with online reviews in [TS]

01:17:54   general [TS]

01:17:55   yeah and so i still find myself having [TS]

01:17:57   to consult them it's a place I don't [TS]

01:17:59   know anything about here's my choices i [TS]

01:18:01   can go to their their their their crappy [TS]

01:18:03   website with all the things that they [TS]

01:18:05   claim about themselves right i can go to [TS]

01:18:07   the dumpster fire that is yelp look like [TS]

01:18:11   I'm trying to figure out there's a way [TS]

01:18:12   like a signal back to think the doctor [TS]

01:18:14   though like I've done that before you [TS]

01:18:15   get a big book it's almost like the [TS]

01:18:16   voter like that like the book you get in [TS]

01:18:18   October for the election and yeah [TS]

01:18:21   do I really have to read all of this you [TS]

01:18:23   know i mean it's gotta pick a doctor so [TS]

01:18:25   what do you do how do you pick a doctor [TS]

01:18:27   that book we could go well the cancer in [TS]

01:18:30   the family so I should look for someone [TS]

01:18:31   who's good at oncology but mostly it's [TS]

01:18:33   like it's like as we used to call it a [TS]

01:18:35   facebook you're going to go through [TS]

01:18:36   there and look at the pictures in the [TS]

01:18:38   names and see who suits you know I'm [TS]

01:18:40   saying yeah I mean how do you pick out [TS]

01:18:42   of a directory like that so i was i was [TS]

01:18:44   a somehow through through a internet [TS]

01:18:48   wormhole i ended up back in Anchorage [TS]

01:18:51   Alaska on the internet now and this is [TS]

01:18:54   the thing that I seldom do right you [TS]

01:18:56   don't look at Anchorage through the [TS]

01:18:57   internet [TS]

01:18:59   partly because the internet is [TS]

01:19:01   insufficient to describe Anchorage [TS]

01:19:03   Anchorage was late adopter of the [TS]

01:19:06   internet just as it was a late adopter [TS]

01:19:08   of everything but then I got a cold [TS]

01:19:11   Brigadoon like old Brigadoon who but I [TS]

01:19:14   saw him on the internet i'm looking at [TS]

01:19:16   that followed a monkey path [TS]

01:19:20   yeah to a picture of a hotel an [TS]

01:19:25   abandoned hotel on Northern Lights [TS]

01:19:27   boulevard that was once the ramada inn [TS]

01:19:29   was once called the Northern Lights [TS]

01:19:31   hotel it is a hotel that I remember [TS]

01:19:33   quite well it's the hotel in which I saw [TS]

01:19:36   the first episode of buck rogers in the [TS]

01:19:38   21st century [TS]

01:19:40   Wow BBT yeah back in nineteen eighty or [TS]

01:19:43   whatever [TS]

01:19:43   yeah sure 79 ATM when I when I started [TS]

01:19:47   to reflect on you can deliver [TS]

01:19:49   member the room when you discovered Erin [TS]

01:19:50   gray yeah that's right brother and I'm [TS]

01:19:52   sitting there I'm thinking now wait a [TS]

01:19:54   minute i lived in this town why was I in [TS]

01:19:56   a room in the ramada inn watching buck [TS]

01:19:59   rogers in the 21st century and then I [TS]

01:20:00   remembered my dad had some the and ice [TS]

01:20:04   I remember these little moments all the [TS]

01:20:06   time now he had some meeting that he had [TS]

01:20:10   to go to at this ramada him and got a [TS]

01:20:14   room in which he parked me in front of [TS]

01:20:18   the television in front of buck rogers [TS]

01:20:20   in the 21st century while he had his [TS]

01:20:22   meeting [TS]

01:20:23   you're by yourself in a hotel room at [TS]

01:20:24   the age of 10 10 or 12 watching and well [TS]

01:20:29   you are probably 10 or 11 [TS]

01:20:31   well and I this used to happen to me all [TS]

01:20:32   the time i was in hotel rooms my whole [TS]

01:20:34   life by your sister you throw I fun [TS]

01:20:36   things to throw the fun things [TS]

01:20:37   throughout the window light later slides [TS]

01:20:39   on fire is out the window until somebody [TS]

01:20:41   down somebody down on the sidewalk went [TS]

01:20:43   in and said there's some kids upstairs [TS]

01:20:44   throwing ice cubes out the window and [TS]

01:20:46   then their deal [TS]

01:20:48   knock on the hotel room door and we [TS]

01:20:49   would be like Shh [TS]

01:20:51   and we ducked under the bed until the [TS]

01:20:53   knocking went away but I'm so I was very [TS]

01:20:56   comfortable in a hotel room by myself [TS]

01:20:58   even at even when I was seven years old [TS]

01:21:00   because my dad always had these [TS]

01:21:01   mysterious meetings and I'm wondering [TS]

01:21:03   whether you I think he was just having [TS]

01:21:05   affairs [TS]

01:21:06   I think he was meeting some woman in the [TS]

01:21:07   in the hotel bar and he was like I'm [TS]

01:21:09   gonna you know a hotel room at the time [TS]

01:21:11   was probably thirty bucks [TS]

01:21:14   it's like I'm just gonna put three bucks [TS]

01:21:15   put the kids in them that's pretty smart [TS]

01:21:17   right put him in my hotel room turn on [TS]

01:21:19   the television [TS]

01:21:20   he's not going anywhere what like a [TS]

01:21:22   better what could be better [TS]

01:21:23   maybe you're like me I mean what are you [TS]

01:21:25   gonna do you know I would really rather [TS]

01:21:27   go somewhere and find homework you're [TS]

01:21:29   gonna sit you're gonna be in a hotel [TS]

01:21:29   room watching TV like there's no reason [TS]

01:21:31   for you to want to leave your dad could [TS]

01:21:32   be going to have his quote unquote [TS]

01:21:33   meeting you know on the next floor [TS]

01:21:36   yeah right okay it could be in the next [TS]

01:21:38   room as far as i know but that you know [TS]

01:21:39   in a hotel room what do you do you go [TS]

01:21:41   out of the room you go down to the ice [TS]

01:21:42   machine is between key key cards you [TS]

01:21:45   just leave the door unlocked intense and [TS]

01:21:47   get those keys with that where the key [TS]

01:21:49   chains like a big diamond [TS]

01:21:50   oh I realize I still have a couple of [TS]

01:21:52   those i want from the fantasy in in a [TS]

01:21:55   outside of Miami motel room that had [TS]

01:21:58   like plastic on the sheets and when you [TS]

01:22:01   turn on the television but it only has [TS]

01:22:03   porn channels i was like what am I doing [TS]

01:22:05   here well of course it's called the [TS]

01:22:06   fantasy and what was I thinking [TS]

01:22:08   I guess I was looking for a room looking [TS]

01:22:11   for a fifty-dollar motel room and i'm in [TS]

01:22:13   some place called the fans here with [TS]

01:22:14   like plastic on the bed so I kept before [TS]

01:22:17   use for kayak i was i was so furious I [TS]

01:22:19   was like I'm keeping this key because at [TS]

01:22:21   least the key is worth fifty dollars [TS]

01:22:23   it's actually hanging on the wall in my [TS]

01:22:25   bathroom nice but so i'm at so I'm [TS]

01:22:27   looking at the the former northern [TS]

01:22:29   lights in on the internet and I'm like [TS]

01:22:32   and northern lights in was right across [TS]

01:22:34   the street from the what I think was [TS]

01:22:38   called the chef or the Shh [TS]

01:22:40   it is called the chef for the chefs in [TS]

01:22:42   which was a place this is a this is a [TS]

01:22:45   place this was a steak restaurant where [TS]

01:22:48   you went walked in be in that the center [TS]

01:22:52   of the restaurant was a giant piano that [TS]

01:22:55   you could eat on right there was a piano [TS]

01:22:58   bar guy that was sitting there tickling [TS]

01:22:59   the ivories Wow at but then the piano [TS]

01:23:02   was made into a giant table so you sit [TS]

01:23:04   around [TS]

01:23:05   the piano piano shaped was just a piano [TS]

01:23:07   bar it was like a piano bistro the piano [TS]

01:23:10   was the bar and you would pick your [TS]

01:23:13   steak that were like Ross takes on a on [TS]

01:23:18   a big platter and you'd pick your steak [TS]

01:23:21   and then make the guy in the chef's hat [TS]

01:23:23   would take your the raw steak that you [TS]

01:23:25   put your finger on and he put it on the [TS]

01:23:27   broiler and cook it right in front of [TS]

01:23:29   you [TS]

01:23:29   no kidding it's called the chefs in or [TS]

01:23:31   the it was the smell was one of my dad's [TS]

01:23:34   favorite restaurants we went there all [TS]

01:23:35   the time I would never stop going there [TS]

01:23:36   and the guys the guys SAT and played the [TS]

01:23:38   piano you set on the piano bar eating [TS]

01:23:41   you're basically burned on the outside [TS]

01:23:43   red on the inside steak pittsburgh right [TS]

01:23:46   he loved it he loved his place we went [TS]

01:23:48   there are over 200 and the other thing [TS]

01:23:49   they served was like a quarter of a head [TS]

01:23:53   of lettuce with blue chalk little ways [TS]

01:23:55   salad this is all there was in this [TS]

01:23:57   place and somebody sitting there playing [TS]

01:23:58   Arthur's theme playing out meaning he's [TS]

01:24:00   like sing us a song you're the piano [TS]

01:24:02   except except it wasn't garbage who he [TS]

01:24:05   was playing jazz it was jazz music [TS]

01:24:07   sounds like heaven [TS]

01:24:08   so the northern lights in was right [TS]

01:24:10   across the street from the chefs in or [TS]

01:24:12   whatever this place was called God how [TS]

01:24:14   can I not remember the name of this [TS]

01:24:15   restaurant when all the time anyway I'm [TS]

01:24:17   looking at it I'm like oh god this is [TS]

01:24:19   awful that this place is closed and so I [TS]

01:24:21   started looking at i don't know whether [TS]

01:24:23   it was a yelper some Anchorage blog and [TS]

01:24:29   they said oh that hotel really went [TS]

01:24:31   downhill one mic Cusack owned it and I'm [TS]

01:24:35   like Mike Cusack like to sac lived five [TS]

01:24:39   doors down from me when I was growing up [TS]

01:24:41   what he was the dermatologist who had [TS]

01:24:45   his own Zamboni he owned is he he's a [TS]

01:24:48   dermatologist turned hotel EA who once [TS]

01:24:52   owned a Zamboni so we lived on a lake [TS]

01:24:55   and when the lake would freeze [TS]

01:24:56   everybody's obituaries gonna be so much [TS]

01:24:58   better than mine [TS]

01:24:59   kusac would build a hockey rink on the [TS]

01:25:03   lake he had hockey rink walls and lights [TS]

01:25:07   on poles and he would build this hockey [TS]

01:25:09   rink on a public lake where we always [TS]

01:25:11   dare fucking call yourself an [TS]

01:25:13   entrepreneur until you've done what Mike [TS]

01:25:15   is done [TS]

01:25:16   Mike Mike the dermatologist doing is [TS]

01:25:18   around on the lake and then he had a [TS]

01:25:20   fucking mini Zamboni that he would drive [TS]

01:25:22   around his own hockey rink on a public [TS]

01:25:24   lake with like with the generator [TS]

01:25:28   running lights so that's insane kids [TS]

01:25:31   that you admire that [TS]

01:25:32   well it was I mean compared to like even [TS]

01:25:38   Elon Musk isn't so flamboyant you know [TS]

01:25:41   like this this guy and hit anything is [TS]

01:25:43   all of his daughters were cheerleaders [TS]

01:25:45   who were a lot of blue eyeshadow sure [TS]

01:25:47   and his son so then I start doing some [TS]

01:25:49   research on like the Cossacks right they [TS]

01:25:51   were my they were kind of they were my [TS]

01:25:53   nemesis i like them just fine i went to [TS]

01:25:56   a party at the Cossacks house where my [TS]

01:25:58   Cusack himself arrived at the party and [TS]

01:26:01   personally ejected me alone boy because [TS]

01:26:05   Carrie you know everyone else at the [TS]

01:26:07   party was beautiful sure I was not [TS]

01:26:10   beautiful yet bounced but i was also [TS]

01:26:11   drunk and obnoxious and I think I was [TS]

01:26:14   knocking basis over and he was like you [TS]

01:26:17   out and then everybody was like one of [TS]

01:26:19   those parties in in sixteen Candles [TS]

01:26:21   where they're pretty in pink or whatever [TS]

01:26:23   where everybody else was beautiful and [TS]

01:26:25   had a mullet and I was wearing a trench [TS]

01:26:27   coat and he was like you're the John [TS]

01:26:30   bender of this party hit-the hit the [TS]

01:26:32   bricks [TS]

01:26:32   yeah anyway I realized that the hotel [TS]

01:26:36   had been running to the ground by Mike [TS]

01:26:37   Cusack jr. whose only a few years older [TS]

01:26:40   than me so then I'm online I'm like [TS]

01:26:43   Google in my Cusack dermatologist and i [TS]

01:26:47   discovered the bristol palin worked / [TS]

01:26:52   works at my cous x dermatology office [TS]

01:26:55   which what which makes perfect sense [TS]

01:26:59   give you a lap if you know Alaska so [TS]

01:27:02   bristol palin it's all very local you [TS]

01:27:04   can see Russia from there [TS]

01:27:05   that's right bristol palin us supposedly [TS]

01:27:07   is working for my Cusack [TS]

01:27:09   but then there's all this shit to all [TS]

01:27:11   the shit talking blogs where like [TS]

01:27:12   crystal doesn't even work there [TS]

01:27:14   it's a it's like a front and if you call [TS]

01:27:19   them and ask for Bristol they tell you [TS]

01:27:21   that she works at a dr jacme offs office [TS]

01:27:25   detector me off you know dr. me off dr. [TS]

01:27:28   jack me off [TS]

01:27:30   the family name so I'm so now i'm [TS]

01:27:33   fascinated because i know these people [TS]

01:27:35   now you're really down the monkey trail [TS]

01:27:36   and then i say go on yelp dr. Mike [TS]

01:27:39   Cusack to star 0 which is which means [TS]

01:27:44   one five star review where the person [TS]

01:27:47   who wrote a whole paragraph like my [TS]

01:27:49   Cusack is amazing he's the greatest [TS]

01:27:51   dermatologist that ever lived [TS]

01:27:52   he's wonderful man and going there is a [TS]

01:27:55   great pleasure and then 41 star reviews [TS]

01:27:57   of people saying he cut the tip of my [TS]

01:28:00   nose off [TS]

01:28:01   he spent the entire day spent the entire [TS]

01:28:04   time where he was consulting me with [TS]

01:28:05   headphones on listening to Sammy Hagar's [TS]

01:28:08   red rocker period like just terrible [TS]

01:28:11   terrible reviews and and so I'm trying [TS]

01:28:15   to use google to find one thing about my [TS]

01:28:18   Cusack basically that I didn't already [TS]

01:28:20   know and other than this other than like [TS]

01:28:23   40 websites that i'll give him a [TS]

01:28:25   two-star review and this story about [TS]

01:28:28   them running the hotel into the ground [TS]

01:28:33   ah that's the extent of what I could [TS]

01:28:36   find online accept new one other thing [TS]

01:28:38   which was that they tried to make a [TS]

01:28:42   reality show of the Cusack girls who [TS]

01:28:47   were like oh because my Cusack also on [TS]

01:28:50   the king salmon lodge which was like a [TS]

01:28:52   different kind of hotel where you go [TS]

01:28:54   down in fish and hunt and this reality [TS]

01:28:58   show was these girls who were very [TS]

01:29:00   beautiful and very you know they were [TS]

01:29:04   they were like made up right there look [TS]

01:29:06   at Alaska version of petticoat junction [TS]

01:29:08   yeah they had they had big hair they had [TS]

01:29:10   they had lots of eyeshadow on they were [TS]

01:29:12   like that by Alaska standards they were [TS]

01:29:14   the most beautiful girls that wasn't [TS]

01:29:17   called the Alaska eights it was [TS]

01:29:20   something like that where they were [TS]

01:29:21   where the premise was that these girls [TS]

01:29:23   who looked sort of like a Dallas Cowboy [TS]

01:29:26   Cheerleaders also had hunting and [TS]

01:29:29   fishing skills are plenty [TS]

01:29:31   ok so anyway they were out in there [TS]

01:29:33   they're Louboutin shoes so it's kinda [TS]

01:29:37   like it's like the Kardashians but for [TS]

01:29:40   the sarah palin set [TS]

01:29:42   yeah exactly right they work [TS]

01:29:44   they were they were Sarah Palin's in a [TS]

01:29:46   way like they were there foxy and they [TS]

01:29:50   could also clean and dress a deer who [TS]

01:29:53   and so ice actually saw an episode of [TS]

01:29:57   this it never I don't ever think he got [TS]

01:29:59   picked up but they made an episode and [TS]

01:30:01   somebody that I went to high school is [TS]

01:30:02   like you gotta see this and sent me it [TS]

01:30:06   I don't even know how they got it [TS]

01:30:07   they're like you got to see this and [TS]

01:30:09   it's all these people that I know from [TS]

01:30:10   that lived on my block [TS]

01:30:12   uh I went to junior high with them i was [TS]

01:30:15   even in a class with my Cusack he was a [TS]

01:30:18   senior and I was a software or something [TS]

01:30:19   but but up watching the show and I'm [TS]

01:30:24   like this is incredible i don't know why [TS]

01:30:26   this didn't get picked up this is so [TS]

01:30:28   much better [TS]

01:30:29   this is the this is the housewives of a [TS]

01:30:31   banker Alaska Housewives of king salmon [TS]

01:30:34   Alaska but it didn't I don't think that [TS]

01:30:37   ever took root [TS]

01:30:39   I mean that's out there if it's a [TS]

01:30:41   fascinating planet like you say when the [TS]

01:30:43   obituaries written yep i mean that with [TS]

01:30:46   the lead on that one in in Anchorage I [TS]

01:30:49   don't think you get a top of the fold [TS]

01:30:52   obituary unless you were unless you were [TS]

01:30:57   shot at by somebody who is trying to [TS]

01:30:59   like steal your business or unless you [TS]

01:31:04   had your own Zamboni i googled many [TS]

01:31:07   Zamboni's and boy I don't have any [TS]

01:31:10   reason to have on boy that sure would be [TS]

01:31:11   fun [TS]

01:31:12   send me a link simulink to be somebody [TS]

01:31:14   that's not a thing I ever would have [TS]

01:31:15   thought to google I mean who would you [TS]

01:31:18   know I said look at at ocean-going tug [TS]

01:31:21   boats all the time on on google but i'm [TS]

01:31:23   not going i wouldn't have thought mini [TS]

01:31:24   sample a lot of these are jokey so you [TS]

01:31:27   get like Lego oh well yeah but I mean [TS]

01:31:29   you can buy a a small Zamboni i think [TS]

01:31:33   yeah or a Zamboni kit for your tractor [TS]

01:31:36   yeah there's a lot of sort of homemade [TS]

01:31:39   ones here looking like they're like [TS]

01:31:41   little cross between like a rascal and [TS]

01:31:43   like a VW beetle is a VW could you let [TS]

01:31:48   me put it this way could you put a [TS]

01:31:50   rolls-royce grille on a mini Zamboni [TS]

01:31:54   love that look at cars people [TS]

01:31:57   to do oh my god why doesn't anybody [TS]

01:31:59   that's a thing that a hipster should [TS]

01:32:01   have but it whatever happened to those [TS]

01:32:03   may be on the road anywhere rightfully [TS]

01:32:06   $100 you could make your VW Bug kind of [TS]

01:32:09   look like a rolls-royce that is such a [TS]

01:32:12   fabulous furry freak brothers move right [TS]

01:32:14   what kind of car would would fat Freddy [TS]

01:32:18   drive around in if not a Volkswagen bug [TS]

01:32:21   with the rolls-royce grille [TS]

01:32:22   uh-huh I'm i I'm you know there was a [TS]

01:32:26   reason fat freddy's cat hung out with [TS]

01:32:28   that pretty and it wasn't well it was [TS]

01:32:31   because fatty fed him but also because [TS]

01:32:34   that pretty had a little class through a [TS]

01:32:38   mi mi now up into something a little bit [TS]

01:32:41   out of my depth on the fabulous freak [TS]

01:32:42   brothers had a fever I have any [TS]

01:32:45   resolution on getting your charms [TS]

01:32:48   blasting dubai not to buy abu dhabi i [TS]

01:32:52   didn't i didn't have the I didn't have [TS]

01:32:54   the hook spot walk up to her mom and say [TS]

01:32:57   you will you like rub my talents man [TS]

01:33:00   ever because I didn't want to offend it [TS]

01:33:03   seems like tourism a little bit [TS]

01:33:05   well yeah but it but it all would be for [TS]

01:33:08   me right i mean i would like to collect [TS]

01:33:10   a charm bracelet where uh where every [TS]

01:33:13   charm had been rubbed by a top-shelf [TS]

01:33:16   leader of a different religious a [TS]

01:33:20   cardinal a cardinal level leader in that [TS]

01:33:24   in that group right so let's say let's [TS]

01:33:27   say a Greek Orthodox Patriarch haha a [TS]

01:33:30   like a lubavitcher a rabbi a cardinal a [TS]

01:33:38   look at what about a chemtrail person I [TS]

01:33:41   don't know I pretty flat organization [TS]

01:33:43   that I feel like the top the top [TS]

01:33:46   activators of chem trail stuffer [TS]

01:33:48   I like the talk radio host there's [TS]

01:33:51   there's nobody there's nobody higher up [TS]

01:33:52   the chain then than one of those guys in [TS]

01:33:55   from like Winnemucca Nevada who run a [TS]

01:33:59   who run like a talk radio Empire [TS]

01:34:01   whoo-hoo-hoo that where that if they're [TS]

01:34:04   not talk about mud people are talking [TS]

01:34:05   about [TS]

01:34:06   the term of chemtrails but you also [TS]

01:34:09   you're decreasing your risk in terms of [TS]

01:34:11   spiritual investment you know what I [TS]

01:34:13   mean you're diversifying your charm [TS]

01:34:15   portfolio [TS]

01:34:16   yeah yeah well it's not a thing that i [TS]

01:34:19   would wear i'm not going to wear a charm [TS]

01:34:20   bracelet but i'm talking about giving [TS]

01:34:21   these things to my daughter to ward off [TS]

01:34:23   evil spirits like like like everybody [TS]

01:34:26   who goes to turkey comes back with one [TS]

01:34:29   of those ward off evil eye a like son [TS]

01:34:33   some talismans that hangs in your window [TS]

01:34:37   on a sunny day [TS]

01:34:38   ok ok you know the the ward off evil i [TS]

01:34:40   think you know I'll find it though [TS]

01:34:42   well they're you know they're like a [TS]

01:34:44   blue like a single blue eyeball [TS]

01:34:47   oh sure look at that yeah and you bring [TS]

01:34:50   people bring those back from turkey [TS]

01:34:51   because that's what turkey is trying to [TS]

01:34:54   sell you right you get there and you're [TS]

01:34:56   walking around you're like I want a [TS]

01:34:57   souvenir from Turkey like coming back [TS]

01:34:59   from Hawaii with delay it's like coming [TS]

01:35:01   back from but the thing is labeled I [TS]

01:35:03   whereas an evil eye water offered never [TS]

01:35:05   will [TS]

01:35:06   ok but like you could come back with a [TS]

01:35:08   with the like a miniature like a snow [TS]

01:35:10   globe with the mosque from DNA is [TS]

01:35:13   written it but you're not going to do [TS]

01:35:15   that you're going to come back with one [TS]

01:35:16   of these evil eye charms because I don't [TS]

01:35:20   know where I they might be selling them [TS]

01:35:21   in the airport I never went to the [TS]

01:35:22   airport there [TS]

01:35:23   oh no that's not true i've been to the [TS]

01:35:25   istanbul airport I don't remember what [TS]

01:35:27   they sold evil eye charms but you put [TS]

01:35:30   one of those on a charm bracelet that [TS]

01:35:31   you give your kid you just you're just I [TS]

01:35:35   think you don't even tell them what it's [TS]

01:35:36   for [TS]

01:35:37   no no you just say here's some pretty [TS]

01:35:38   things that may wear and you're you're [TS]

01:35:41   hedging your bets and if their life goes [TS]

01:35:43   better you know [TS]

01:35:44   hakuna matata hakuna matata hakuna [TS]

01:35:46   matata badge right hawala wanna lay [TS]

01:35:50   Mazel Tov [TS]

01:35:52   kim kardashian wearing an evil eye is [TS]

01:35:58   she [TS]

01:35:59   yeah I mean she's had it all everything [TS]

01:36:01   to get into a phase we were a lot of [TS]

01:36:02   turquoise jewelry it seems to be a thing [TS]

01:36:06   still likes not as much not as much they [TS]

01:36:08   used to be but you little you know those [TS]

01:36:10   old couples holding hands you get a guy [TS]

01:36:12   with long hair and a beard and a lady [TS]

01:36:13   with long hair and a beard and [TS]

01:36:14   frequently both wearing turquoise [TS]

01:36:16   jewelry I always I I always admired [TS]

01:36:19   people the war bootcut jeans and [TS]

01:36:21   turquoise jewelry but i think you have [TS]

01:36:23   tips i think you have slim hips i think [TS]

01:36:25   that's a slim hip thing I childbearing [TS]

01:36:27   and that's not gonna happen yeah you're [TS]

01:36:28   not gonna wear that you're not gonna [TS]

01:36:29   wear turquoise jewelry if you don't have [TS]

01:36:31   slim hips that's a yeah that's a thing [TS]

01:36:33   for guys with a large mustache area [TS]

01:36:34   that's yeah that's what I for a while [TS]

01:36:37   there you know if you go to if you go to [TS]

01:36:43   northern Italy let's say let's say [TS]

01:36:45   you're you're you're walking across the [TS]

01:36:47   Ponte Vecchio sure and you say like [TS]

01:36:52   there's a lot of jewelry stores here [TS]

01:36:54   people have got to be coming here for a [TS]

01:36:55   reason let's take a look there were [TS]

01:36:58   there is a kind of ring called don't [TS]

01:37:02   know what it is a friendship ring or I [TS]

01:37:05   don't think it's about friendship I [TS]

01:37:06   think it's about i think it's about [TS]

01:37:07   command-and-control but it's three gold [TS]

01:37:12   rings of different kinds of gold pink [TS]

01:37:15   gold yellow gold green gold blue gold I [TS]

01:37:19   don't know the idea that kind of it's [TS]

01:37:20   like a lot cocktail [TS]

01:37:22   well in order to get the ring on or off [TS]

01:37:25   your finger it is it's built in such a [TS]

01:37:27   way that the Rings have to kind of roll [TS]

01:37:29   over each other okay like they really [TS]

01:37:32   are three separate rings three separate [TS]

01:37:34   rings that role that are like [TS]

01:37:36   intertwined they're like almost woven [TS]

01:37:39   together and as you put them on your [TS]

01:37:41   finger there the Rings sort of role on [TS]

01:37:44   and it was explained to me i guess that [TS]

01:37:47   if you then coated the ring with wax or [TS]

01:37:49   something that you couldn't get the ring [TS]

01:37:51   off all it has to roll [TS]

01:37:54   I get it I get it and so it was some [TS]

01:37:56   kind of like our love is is bounded or [TS]

01:38:00   maybe all of that is baloney and it's [TS]

01:38:02   just a pretty ring but when i was when i [TS]

01:38:05   was there a the first time in Italy I [TS]

01:38:10   was like I really want one of those [TS]

01:38:11   that's very exotic because i think i was [TS]

01:38:13   on a train with somebody i was thinking [TS]

01:38:15   i was on a train with some lebanese guy [TS]

01:38:16   and he was like check out my ring or I [TS]

01:38:18   saw the regulars like what is that ring [TS]

01:38:20   and he's showing it to me and I'm like [TS]

01:38:22   wow I've got to get one of those and [TS]

01:38:23   then I'm in Florence and I'm like that's [TS]

01:38:25   where you get it but then of course it's [TS]

01:38:28   made out of gold and I had like 11 [TS]

01:38:33   innings and couldn't afford this thing [TS]

01:38:38   because they were expensive even then [TS]

01:38:40   but I saw silver one and so i bought the [TS]

01:38:46   silver one and i was walking around for [TS]

01:38:48   a long time thinking I'm gonna be the [TS]

01:38:50   silver jewelry guy I like that I like [TS]

01:38:52   that that's it's not presumptuous [TS]

01:38:55   yeah right it's it's not turquoise [TS]

01:38:56   you're not trying to say that [TS]

01:38:59   yeah that you've you've been through a [TS]

01:39:01   vision ceremony of any kind [TS]

01:39:03   yeah right you're never going to live in [TS]

01:39:05   Taos but it's not it's not too [TS]

01:39:08   on-the-nose it's not like you're the guy [TS]

01:39:09   who collect elephants [TS]

01:39:11   Yeah right right so natural reason [TS]

01:39:13   that's a big tent hobby it's a big tent [TS]

01:39:15   habian you can have big silver jewelry [TS]

01:39:17   you can have small silver jewelry you [TS]

01:39:18   can have yeah i mean not like I'm ever [TS]

01:39:20   gonna wear pinky ring or even a ring on [TS]

01:39:23   my first finger which is the ultimate [TS]

01:39:24   symbol of do not do you bring your [TS]

01:39:28   fucking pointer finger when I wish my [TS]

01:39:31   wish I can judge the people with all the [TS]

01:39:33   Rings I wish I could I wish I could make [TS]

01:39:34   myself not see the Rings and not having [TS]

01:39:36   an opinion about it but so I had this I [TS]

01:39:38   had this little three-ring friendship [TS]

01:39:40   ring on one of my fingers and then I had [TS]

01:39:45   what I tried to do some some second i [TS]

01:39:48   want second level of jewelry i think [TS]

01:39:51   that i think your girl gave me a on [TS]

01:39:54   comics on a silver chain of like a like [TS]

01:40:00   a like a like a crystal and it was meant [TS]

01:40:04   to channel my my black bile or something [TS]

01:40:08   i don't i don't know what it was meant [TS]

01:40:09   to do but a black onyx like buying [TS]

01:40:12   somebody a mop is that other things we [TS]

01:40:14   can I think so i think that's exactly [TS]

01:40:18   what it was she was like you have too [TS]

01:40:20   much chi and you need to you need to do [TS]

01:40:24   you mean you need you need to develop [TS]

01:40:26   your blacky yeah yeah you need to you [TS]

01:40:29   need to cleave some black chi m and [TS]

01:40:32   here's the thing you don't know what [TS]

01:40:34   does don't worry about it it's a Taliban [TS]

01:40:36   that's been blessed by the Cardinal of [TS]

01:40:37   of of crystals and put it on and you'll [TS]

01:40:42   be fine so I'm wearing this [TS]

01:40:43   I'm wearing this black onyx and I've got [TS]

01:40:47   my friendship ring and then of course my [TS]

01:40:49   silver friendship ring and then of [TS]

01:40:50   course like 15 a 15 friendship bracelets [TS]

01:40:55   that people had tied on my wrist because [TS]

01:40:58   we were friends apparently they slept [TS]

01:41:00   think so they know they dosed my [TS]

01:41:03   kombucha and then I woke up and i'm [TS]

01:41:06   covered with all these prayer flags and [TS]

01:41:10   I was walking around like that for a [TS]

01:41:12   long time at a soul patch [TS]

01:41:14   oh and when you when you put it on why [TS]

01:41:16   didn't you aren't you a fan of puka [TS]

01:41:17   shells too and all right I had all of [TS]

01:41:21   that going on [TS]

01:41:22   I never had a mullet because i thought [TS]

01:41:24   well bridges are six weeks away from [TS]

01:41:26   being the turquoise guy is so cool i [TS]

01:41:29   think i was i'm walking around wearing [TS]

01:41:31   brand-new was Marlon Brando a turquoise [TS]

01:41:32   guy [TS]

01:41:33   I'll bet he was maybe I could see me [TS]

01:41:37   Marlon Brando Brando was one of those [TS]

01:41:39   like who knows what's going on with him [TS]

01:41:40   like maybe he had a he felt like he felt [TS]

01:41:42   feelings very deeply he could've been [TS]

01:41:45   walking around with the turquoise butt [TS]

01:41:46   plug in all the time and the rest of us [TS]

01:41:49   didn't know but it's like it's like that [TS]

01:41:52   it's clean his Chi what I want and [TS]

01:42:01   Marlon Brando turquoise [TS]

01:42:04   [Music] [TS]