0:00:00[Music]
0:00:04hello I John I'm Merlin how's it going
0:00:09uh-huh yeah really good
0:00:13yeah very good crazy stuff oh yeah oh
0:00:16god really oh god it's all it's all such
0:00:19a struggle to find ya did you have a
0:00:21crazy morning
0:00:23oh I can get the kids out the door and
0:00:25tumble out of bed stumble the kitchen
0:00:28whoo wonder whatever happened to my life
0:00:31yeah did you did you go downstairs and
0:00:33drink a cup or did you wanna stretch
0:00:36yeah try to come to life this shit did
0:00:40you drink a cup of ambition that
0:00:42composition
0:00:43yeah just kind of just keeps going like
0:00:44this doesn't beyond stretch don't don't
0:00:47don't don't don't
0:00:48mm oh she's just a song that we know of
0:00:52as morning train which sounds a little
0:00:55dirty was oh
0:00:57originally I had never thought about
0:00:58that interpretation but you know morning
0:01:01train was really called 925 but they had
0:01:04to change it for the US release which
0:01:06also sounds dirty because dolly parton
0:01:08already had a hit with 95 right if you
0:01:11think about it almost everything sounds
0:01:12dirty
0:01:13yeah US release feel like I'm going to
0:01:16start using both europe US release and
0:01:19morning train just incorporate that into
0:01:22my room into my pillow talk
0:01:24that is funny isn't it this is this is
0:01:28how the brain works you know
0:01:30hey baby i'm i'm gonna have to change
0:01:31this for the US release
0:01:33mhm helping have a simultaneous
0:01:35worldwide release
0:01:37oh my goodness boy you're a couple of
0:01:40ambition got blue here a little bit blue
0:01:42you know you got a little blue last week
0:01:45that was fun
0:01:46do I get blue when you talk about some
0:01:48things
0:01:49yeah you know what yeah I don't know
0:01:51finally off the internet café have the
0:01:53energy into it but i doubt you your
0:01:55interest in the man's knowing the man's
0:01:57parfum and then you followed him around
0:01:59a little bit yeah the part form for
0:02:02that's right that's right I did I did I
0:02:04talked about some talked about some sex
0:02:06sex things
0:02:07yeah sex feelings really i read i read i
0:02:12read a article on the internet this
0:02:14morning about an artist anal dildo
0:02:16company
0:02:17we'll make bespoke modern uh dude I sure
0:02:23you don't want to just be using an old
0:02:25dryer model well either an old model of
0:02:28its the things you don't want here's
0:02:30what here's what you don't want you do
0:02:32want an old building like a like one
0:02:35from the past also hold world
0:02:37craftsmanship yeah that's the kind of
0:02:39you know that kind of burled wood dildo
0:02:42of the 19th century which you don't want
0:02:44is one of these sort of you know
0:02:46mid-period dildos from the sixties
0:02:50seventies eighties maybe early six you
0:02:52mean like it like a japanese electronics
0:02:54feel valued by like a Woolworth yeah you
0:02:56know what that is one of those
0:02:57inexpensive nothing nothing i'm going to
0:02:59be ping pong but wakes you don't want
0:03:01some kind of mid-market like LeBaron of
0:03:04dildos
0:03:05I think for a long time most dildos were
0:03:08made out of the same material that super
0:03:10balls were made out of interesting right
0:03:12i think if you if you dropped one on the
0:03:14ground it would it would the first time
0:03:16it would bounce like six feet high and
0:03:17higher than you'd expect
0:03:19yeah it was that kind of marbled plastic
0:03:21red-white-and-blue sort of marbled
0:03:22plastic and that's not what you want now
0:03:25not not a normal contemporary guide
0:03:29wearing suspenders with the with a long
0:03:31beard and the sides of his head shaved
0:03:33is not going to use a superball dildo
0:03:35when he could use one that's made out of
0:03:38brass and steam gauges
0:03:41uh-huh right look at Jules Verne device
0:03:44exactly you want one that's gonna have
0:03:47probably some tiles
0:03:48hmm maybe it makes a pinging sound that
0:03:50when you started up it goes
0:03:53we are living here in Allentown all it
0:04:00takes a lot to get started
0:04:0222 yea right in the little below
0:04:04flywheel start spinning oh yeah you know
0:04:07I think if I were gonna have a steampunk
0:04:11dildo
0:04:12I think I would be looking for something
0:04:13that was looking at probably large
0:04:15machine
0:04:16yeah we're like like the size of like a
0:04:19box fan maybe bigger well and the drives
0:04:23a device that's actually kind of kind of
0:04:25tiny yeah that uses a a very heavily
0:04:28lacquered of
0:04:29boat or in some capacity
0:04:32it's got its got flywheels got gauges it
0:04:35makes a puff puff puff sound right it
0:04:38should sound a little bit like an
0:04:39old-timey generator or something
0:04:40yeah it's you know brass tubing all
0:04:44course you gotta have brass and and you
0:04:45got some some studs on it right there a
0:04:48lot of like like studs on things
0:04:50yeah but now it's starting to sound a
0:04:52little bit medieval starting to sound
0:04:56like something from the Torquemada would
0:04:58we just use the arm of a dead peasant
0:05:01huh
0:05:03the arm of a dead baby there's so many
0:05:07of them
0:05:08yeah but that's the way economics works
0:05:10right that use there's a need and then
0:05:12there's something changes in the
0:05:13marketplace maybe something involving
0:05:14Copernicus but you got a baby's arm and
0:05:16you know you might want to do some
0:05:17business with that
0:05:18well mrs. the thing once you start
0:05:19talking about business start talking
0:05:21about the history of entrepreneurship
0:05:22start talking about the history of
0:05:24entrepreneurship you're really you're
0:05:25talking about the history of humanity
0:05:26its history desire to better ourselves
0:05:28history of humanity is the history of
0:05:31entrepreneurs yes pushing the envelope
0:05:34through entrepreneurial entrepreneurship
0:05:38it sometimes they push the envelope
0:05:40out-of-the-box don't think why don't
0:05:42know you're I mean I don't want to open
0:05:44the kimono
0:05:45Oh too far to a deep dive on this one
0:05:47but entrepreneurs even right now as we
0:05:51speak our transformer they're
0:05:53terraforming the mental landscape that
0:05:57was a made-up word I thought you made up
0:05:58that word but then I learned that that's
0:05:59a real word terraforming yeah it's super
0:06:02because you talked about the guy upon
0:06:03the Genesis device and things I assume
0:06:05startrack things but I went read about
0:06:07it it's an interesting it'sit's been
0:06:08around inside for some time now
0:06:10oh yeah terraforming come on what are
0:06:12you going to call it when you arrive in
0:06:14a when you arrive in a distant sun-baked
0:06:17planet right or or multiple baked by
0:06:20multiple sons and basic the basic idea
0:06:22is or has been in the past it's mostly
0:06:25about in science fiction speculative
0:06:27fiction it's the idea of taking an
0:06:30existing planet or area that's currently
0:06:32not naturally inhabitable by humans and
0:06:37doing something that basically is reset
0:06:39and causes it to be something that would
0:06:40be an admirable by humans
0:06:42yes exactly now did you just say
0:06:44speculative fiction
0:06:45yes because because we've determined
0:06:48that science fiction is hurtful or
0:06:51because somebody within somebody within
0:06:54the science / speculative fiction realm
0:06:57has has indicated that one is is not
0:07:01equivalent to the other
0:07:03well now that you've opened that kimono
0:07:06have a feeling you're going to find out
0:07:08mmic so someone's gonna write me you're
0:07:10saying someone's gonna write me an email
0:07:12or tweet explaining the difference
0:07:14between tally explaining the difference
0:07:16but no nobody would ever do that we on
0:07:19I can't believe you respond to people
0:07:22about bits we went through that whole
0:07:26thing where it's like I know the answer
0:07:29i know the answer
0:07:30oh it's about this a couple three weeks
0:07:35ago that distinction between like
0:07:37science fiction and fantasy and I you
0:07:38know I'm an outsider on these things
0:07:40mostly I'm you know I like mainstream
0:07:41stuff i've read some stuff but I'm not
0:07:43like out i'm not i don't know lots of
0:07:45stuff about either science fiction or
0:07:46fantasy but um I guess what the
0:07:50speculative fiction when I first hear
0:07:52that i feel like i may be first heard
0:07:55that in my head I associate with kurt
0:07:57vonnegut well you know if it was just
0:08:00called speculum fiction than it would be
0:08:02Harlan Ellison is that right you look at
0:08:05the german thing
0:08:06mm-my I think you're absolutely right it
0:08:09probably Ellison's not a German name
0:08:12anyway
0:08:14no uh-uh go out go on I don't wanna be
0:08:17in my head like I guess I see I don't
0:08:19know an IRA please don't explain it to
0:08:21me people i don't really don't care but
0:08:22I know it matters to tell me but please
0:08:25don't know but I'll wanna the science
0:08:28fiction and science fiction is the idea
0:08:31of you know it's fiction it's a story
0:08:34that involves sciency things and with
0:08:37you anymore
0:08:38well the thing is speculative fiction to
0:08:40me I think that more of like this
0:08:42doesn't really rely on some kind of it's
0:08:45almost more like an alternative
0:08:47alternate excuse me
0:08:48Oh want to say is alternative people say
0:08:50alternate I think alternate means every
0:08:52other oh it was like an altimeter
0:08:55epicenter they're almost everybody uses
0:08:57wrong
0:08:57OIC or like a like a deep dive for open
0:09:01the kimono I think when you say
0:09:03alternate you say we're gonna meet on
0:09:05alternate weeks right and you would say
0:09:08or you the biopic are you say somebody
0:09:11was someone else's alternate right which
0:09:13is like a second right in a duel right i
0:09:16think you know alternative means a
0:09:17difference don't know I know what both
0:09:19of us have used and we'll get back to
0:09:20speculate efficient wireless one that
0:09:23both of us have used wrong even recently
0:09:25is uninterested vs disinterested and I
0:09:27think that is it is a difference between
0:09:30to bring back home mp3 if it doesn't
0:09:33appeal to you or holds no interest for
0:09:35you you are uninterested in that if
0:09:37you're somebody who doesn't have a stake
0:09:38in it as I like so you don't have a dog
0:09:40in the fight you're a disinterested
0:09:42party you know we always say don't have
0:09:44a dog in that race but I think it's
0:09:46because because the Iditarod well yeah
0:09:48here we raise dogs
0:09:50I don't know what you guys do you fight
0:09:52dogs I guess down there Florida in
0:09:54Florida there's lots of dog racing there
0:09:56is some very unusual bedding in florida
0:10:01i was about to use where paramutual
0:10:02except I don't really know what that
0:10:03means
0:10:03yeah at first I thought you said betting
0:10:05instead of betting dog bedding this is
0:10:08turning into kind of a bore his podcast
0:10:10display area last night I was watching I
0:10:13actually happen to be watching some
0:10:14videos of boys hunting that's different
0:10:17from or hey it's a different from aboard
0:10:19hey ora ora aboard or abortion or ar
0:10:25borji which is when the people who
0:10:27who run run an Italian the city-state
0:10:30have intercourse in groups right sure or
0:10:33not I would think that joke is funny
0:10:35yeah i think he is already laughing now
0:10:37the big George is the guy who had a
0:10:39puppet on his hand
0:10:40I would you know I would say that I've
0:10:41been to some beorgis what I'm saying I
0:10:45said against the wall
0:10:46yeah anyway I was watching afterwards
0:10:49you got to see the demented cheese for I
0:10:52got nothing
0:10:52the manager oh don't think they make
0:10:55artisanal pasta don't think the demand
0:10:58cheese
0:10:58yeah I think so yeah cooked to
0:10:59perfection that 10 to 12 minutes but i'm
0:11:02watching these videos of boys hunting
0:11:04huh which is your boys a Russian hunting
0:11:07dog
0:11:07well it's a bit so that my understanding
0:11:09is that the board's I was the dog was
0:11:12the exclusive dog of the Russian royal
0:11:15family so much so that after the Russian
0:11:21Revolution all the boys in Russia were
0:11:23killed because they symbolized the royal
0:11:26family
0:11:27oh my goodness oh my goodness thats
0:11:29that's complicated
0:11:31yeah and the only boys that survived
0:11:33were boys that had been given as gifts
0:11:36by the Russian royal family two royal
0:11:38families throughout Europe
0:11:40Wow as us as a token of their royal
0:11:43esteem so there were boys in England and
0:11:46presumably germany and but you can only
0:11:49find an expat bordesley yeah and then
0:11:51those boys were bred to survive the line
0:11:55and now they're our boarders of his back
0:11:57in Russia because you know of course
0:12:00there's a get all the Ark's oligarchs by
0:12:02one important way
0:12:03yeah there's a resurgence of Russian
0:12:05nationalism and the borzoi maybe has the
0:12:07symbolism of it has changed or maybe
0:12:10it's just that they want to return to
0:12:11the Czar's but watching seems it's their
0:12:14version of like small-batch whiskey
0:12:16it's like that's it is nice but it also
0:12:19liked it signifies things exactly it's
0:12:21like the contemporary fashion to wear
0:12:23powdered wigs
0:12:24ok that we have here where it's like you
0:12:27don't want people to stop wearing powder
0:12:29with you see a powder we can laugh and
0:12:30now today it's not unusual you'll see
0:12:32you go to coffee shops e45 people and
0:12:34powdered wigs sure I mean they're that
0:12:36the popularity of the musical Hamilton
0:12:37who has brought back this whole powdered
0:12:40wig scene and you know for a lot of the
0:12:42middle middle period of American history
0:12:45we we were not impressed by the by the
0:12:49founding fathers we wanted nothing to do
0:12:51with them they we consider ourselves
0:12:52contemporary modern people we want to
0:12:54make a break from that culture the last
0:12:56thing we want to do is where the ways of
0:12:58our fathers
0:12:58yeah we were wearing helmets we were
0:13:00wearing helmets and goggles caps some
0:13:03caps maybe get transistor radio
0:13:06you could have a Tamil Shanter Tamil
0:13:08Shanter write a a deerstalker uh-huh
0:13:11with a transistor radio uh but uh anyway
0:13:16these videos of boys hunting the boards
0:13:19are very fast dog faster when I was
0:13:21Gibson he was a well have we talked
0:13:25about this
0:13:25the passing of Gibson well no not the
0:13:28passing of Gibson but when Gibson
0:13:29arrived Gibson looked like a small
0:13:32borzoi but what Gibson was was a borzoi
0:13:37crossed with a whippet and a whip it is
0:13:40looks like a tiny borstal isn't a
0:13:43whippet kinda like like it's like a tiny
0:13:44ground
0:13:46uh well yeah but you know greyhounds and
0:13:49I mean they're all long-nosed running
0:13:52dogs okay and so what they did was they
0:13:54tried to get the long hair of a borzoi
0:13:58with the size of a whippet and what they
0:14:04achieved in gibson was he was a little
0:14:06bit too big to be in the family of this
0:14:10new breed they were trying to create and
0:14:13so he had kinda got bounced out of the
0:14:15breeding stock because you know they
0:14:17have to call the big ones and call the
0:14:19hairless ones and calls this is how it
0:14:21works is the process right call the ones
0:14:23that understanding wish colder ones that
0:14:25you know that can tap their hopes to do
0:14:28math so Gibson arrived on the scene and
0:14:32I said low new dog you are a small
0:14:36boards away and my mom said no the new
0:14:40breed is called the silks I can barely
0:14:44even say it
0:14:45ok
0:14:46the silken wind hound so silken wind out
0:14:52that sounds expensive because because
0:14:55when the borzoi has really long fur it
0:14:58takes on this kind of you know it looks
0:15:00like wings almost I mean it takes on
0:15:02this very silky cascading lion's mane
0:15:08and so sick silicon-silicon wind hound
0:15:15was the name of the breed that was that
0:15:19they were working toward and it was
0:15:23somewhere in the it was in the middle
0:15:24period of a breed where maybe hadn't
0:15:26been accepted all the way by the
0:15:28american kennel club but you know they
0:15:32were they were trying to trying to
0:15:34produce a line that would make this a
0:15:36real breed rather than just a crossbreed
0:15:39uh-huh
0:15:40but the problem was when I'm out in the
0:15:41world walking this dog and people come
0:15:44up and say what kind of dog is that I'm
0:15:48forced to make a choice now either eyes
0:15:50either i say out loud
0:15:55silken wind hound now you can explain
0:15:58now you got to explain or you say it's a
0:16:01half borzoi half with it or you say
0:16:04that's a small borzoi or something
0:16:07probably say but you probably get away
0:16:09with we talked about this before with
0:16:11career discussing your career you could
0:16:12probably get away with something like
0:16:14he's mostly borzoi oh that's a good one
0:16:17that's good that never occurred to me
0:16:18mostly borzoi yeah but the thing is I
0:16:20the problem with that is it sounds like
0:16:23you're borzoi got out and you know and
0:16:27had an affair with a with a mongrel and
0:16:30i will and i wanted to indicate that
0:16:32this was this was attempting at least to
0:16:35be a purebred dog
0:16:36oh yeah so essentially he's supposed to
0:16:38look like that it's this is this is what
0:16:40it's meant to be it's a little big
0:16:43it's very small compared to a borzoi but
0:16:46it's still you know
0:16:49three feet tall i mean the boards are
0:16:51huge right right right anyway as I was
0:16:54watching these videos i found a video
0:16:56which originally was a film of three
0:17:01boys killing a wolf in 1910 Wow in the
0:17:07snow
0:17:08oh you'd have a strategy right don't
0:17:10they have enough bread strategy of bread
0:17:13in strategy
0:17:14yeah one of them grabs one front leg one
0:17:16of them grabs one back leg flip them
0:17:18over and the third one goes for the neck
0:17:20Wow and this is how they hunt and they
0:17:23don't have to have a meeting or anything
0:17:24no I think they just know what they're
0:17:26doing and you're watching this thing and
0:17:28the you know it's a wolf so it's not
0:17:30going down easily and it was much I
0:17:33always imagined that it was like whip
0:17:35whip pop and then that bite on the neck
0:17:37and then it's over
0:17:39right like a very surgical process but
0:17:42like a like a like a cat on the Savannah
0:17:44like you would be some kind of like boom
0:17:46you're done
0:17:47Boop you're done right it is uglier than
0:17:49that well it was intense because you
0:17:51know the boards are big but the wolf
0:17:53outweighs them and showed her one grabs
0:17:55the front the one grabs the back but
0:17:57when they're as they're flipping the
0:17:59wolf the wolf is also spinning and
0:18:03contorting trying to get away and so
0:18:06it's really like three dogs on a wolf
0:18:09and they are trying to enact their plan
0:18:12and and the wolf is against it and it's
0:18:16it's really a free-for-all
0:18:18well um and what was crazy about this is
0:18:20i watch this video for about I don't
0:18:23know that five minutes before i realized
0:18:26that it was actually a loop
0:18:28Oh of a fight that in the loop is
0:18:33probably only 15 seconds long
0:18:36it's like a it's like a early 20th
0:18:38century dog vine
0:18:39yeah that's right it's a dog barn except
0:18:42it doesn't have that weird jittery thing
0:18:44in that binds do we're kind of you know
0:18:46it's meant to loop but that sort of
0:18:47starts oh no you're not not not not
0:18:49trying way too hard to be funny
0:18:51yeah and also there's no entrepreneurial
0:18:53aspect to it where somebody I wasn't I
0:18:56wasn't going to say anything somebody up
0:18:57the chain of vine is hoping to do an IPO
0:18:59and um and and make 40 million dollars
0:19:02and get out
0:19:03mhm this is when you'd make a wolf loop
0:19:06just out of love for the water medium
0:19:08because you use a passion project a lot
0:19:11of entrepreneurs you watching TV show
0:19:13that involves entrepreneurs that's
0:19:14always a frequent criticism is like
0:19:16first oh yeah this is this is not
0:19:18accompany this is a product and it's
0:19:19barely even a product
0:19:21yeah there's action was your passion you
0:19:23you want to have something that can
0:19:24scare you into 10x growth for your fine
0:19:27that's right i'm not going to invest my
0:19:29one dollar in this right unless I can
0:19:33see it scale but you can see what it
0:19:36what it ultimately was with somebody out
0:19:38in a snowy field hand cranking a film
0:19:41camera and the entire reel of film was
0:19:45probably just 15 seconds we're going
0:19:47right and so they caught this like
0:19:49incredible moment of these three dogs
0:19:53attacking a wolf and it you know i i've
0:19:56owned these dogs with him up with my mom
0:19:58my whole life and I've never seen one
0:20:02I didn't realize this is I thought
0:20:03Gibson was a was a was a one-off but
0:20:06he's part of a long line of large dogs
0:20:09you can so when I was born my mom was
0:20:11breeding boys
0:20:13Wow and again the boards are as tall as
0:20:17if you take a guitar case and lean it
0:20:19against a wall that's how tall boys I
0:20:22mean they're they're huge huge mhm maybe
0:20:26they're not that tall but they're very
0:20:28tall and we had them all over the house
0:20:31when I was little and then sadly at one
0:20:34point when i was still crawling
0:20:37I was at my mom's feet she was in the
0:20:40kitchen
0:20:40it was the sixties and so two things
0:20:43were true one the kitchen floor was shag
0:20:48carpet and such an interesting design
0:20:52decision which no one has done before
0:20:54sense right i think that shag carpet in
0:20:56the kitchen was precisely from november
0:20:59of 1967 to join us in 1969 then you
0:21:04would never have done it before that or
0:21:06sense Nixon doesn't get the credit he
0:21:08deserves but you know what that's
0:21:09exactly true he was creating a world in
0:21:12which it was safe to have shag carpet in
0:21:13your kitchen
0:21:14yeah and
0:21:15sure the show and also only Nixon could
0:21:17decide to remove shag carpeting from
0:21:18your kitchen you know unison the thing
0:21:20is a democratic president could couldn't
0:21:22have removed shag carpet from the
0:21:24kitchen right it took write a Republican
0:21:26to send Kissinger to take the carpet out
0:21:29also EPA right right
0:21:33sure there was a catalytic converter
0:21:34issues and is your bike coming in this
0:21:36story come get nervous I have to move i
0:21:38have to imagine that the carpet was
0:21:40either avocado mhm burnt umber mm I'll
0:21:46harvest maybe harvest at harvest was a
0:21:49harvest the other popular avocado with
0:21:51everything we owned was always avocado
0:21:52harvest was that sickening throw up
0:21:57colored yellow I think right harvest
0:21:59sure harvest sunshine or desert to find
0:22:02out desert bloom and then there was
0:22:04always that brown color that was just
0:22:06sort of what you call it you two
0:22:11chocolate donut
0:22:12oh yeah I had a I had a pic group it was
0:22:14that color you know anyway I'm sitting
0:22:17in my mom I'm at my mom's feet and her
0:22:20prized board does the the mother who had
0:22:26had produced you know the 25 puppies
0:22:30that had what she was doing her part two
0:22:33to keep this breed alive and when she
0:22:38said when she got to Washington there
0:22:39were no bores anywhere and she actually
0:22:41produce 25 puppies that ended up being
0:22:43the the dogs that created the the west
0:22:48coast
0:22:48borzoi population that's how it works
0:22:51yeah oh my gosh that's very
0:22:52entrepreneurial of her that was she
0:22:54knows she know that's the the trail that
0:22:56she was blazing which made those dogs
0:22:57have intercourse there she was aware
0:22:58that she was and I think for most of the
0:23:01seventies she followed the the line and
0:23:04saw the family tree of all these dogs
0:23:05that then you know I don't think you
0:23:07find a borzoi in the northwest didn't at
0:23:09one point end up in in this shag carpet
0:23:13kitchen in our house but so I'm sitting
0:23:16there and then all of a sudden I start
0:23:19crying she looks down and manouschka the
0:23:22the old lady who had been my my friend
0:23:27and companion
0:23:28had bitten me 17 times in the face but
0:23:33here's you kidding me
0:23:36here's my eyelid all like John this is
0:23:39awful
0:23:40almost took my nose off and it happened
0:23:42in a in a flash like she bit me 17 times
0:23:45like digit just pop ow and they had you
0:23:51know they found like 17 individual bite
0:23:53marks all on my face and my mom was like
0:23:56you know little bits of your face were
0:23:59hanging off it was it was unclear
0:24:03whether you would be scarred for life
0:24:06oh my god John so gruesome well you must
0:24:09have been so scared
0:24:10well I was just a child I don't remember
0:24:12it seems I'm sure left a lasting impact
0:24:15on me that's why I don't trust women you
0:24:17know and it's why i did bad in school
0:24:19experience is probably explains a lot
0:24:22explains a lot right it's always nothing
0:24:24that could explain every time you've
0:24:26tried to bite me what have I done
0:24:28yeah if you get pretty upset exactly
0:24:30yeah so my mom of course had two and
0:24:34minus school was hurt before i was born
0:24:35in schools are child and so she's got a
0:24:39Sophie's Choice situation well she had
0:24:41to put shared apartment get down
0:24:42I think you did the right thing well
0:24:44sure I mean you know you you turned out
0:24:46alright but then she became an
0:24:49evangelist of this whole thing that
0:24:51obviously you and I agree on also which
0:24:52is that really no dog is safe around a
0:24:55baby don't ever make the mistake of
0:24:58putting your child next to a Rottweiler
0:25:01no matter how much you feel like the
0:25:04Rottweilers a nice dog no matter no
0:25:06matter how strong stats are I mean even
0:25:09if your ticket taking 99.999% dog that
0:25:12doesn't kill a kid it only takes really
0:25:13that little bit
0:25:14that's right now they don't get extra
0:25:16credit for being mostly nice yeah the
0:25:18dog is amazing he's always been a great
0:25:19friend never done anything like this
0:25:21before and he only killed your kid one
0:25:23is all around for years and only
0:25:26happened that one time and only happened
0:25:27one time where I ripped my kids throw it
0:25:29out so we did not have boards for many
0:25:32years because that was traumatic for us
0:25:34both i may not i don't know if you've
0:25:36ever been a mother
0:25:37but when you see your kids face after
0:25:39it's been 17 times by your prize dog
0:25:42I think you do say perhaps i will wait
0:25:46that's a complicated feeling and also
0:25:47just you know being a parent I mean the
0:25:49first thing that comes to mind
0:25:50obviously you can't see your kids
0:25:51suffering but also just that feeling of
0:25:53like oh I'm a terrible person right how
0:25:55did this happen how would have I done
0:25:56how how did I let this happen and I
0:25:59thought you know she thought like we
0:26:01were both right there i was touching her
0:26:03pants you know like how much safer could
0:26:06she be and Mariska was trained to the
0:26:09degree that but you know my mom could
0:26:11make a hand signal from half a mile away
0:26:13and the dog would go left or right like
0:26:16she was voice trained and and signal
0:26:21trained like perfectly anyway so we
0:26:27didn't have borders for a long time and
0:26:28then we try to reintroduce boys into our
0:26:32lives but like a lot of highly bred dogs
0:26:36boys have a couple of problems one the
0:26:38inevitable sort of haunches problem but
0:26:41all dogs have no may take a drink and
0:26:45some people listen just hear you say
0:26:47launches on too much haunches problem
0:26:51hunches it has a heart problem bunches
0:26:53problem
0:26:54he's one of my favorite comedians Ron
0:26:56hunches homicide them like the great
0:26:58historical figure hunters pilot that's
0:26:59right and a but one of their other
0:27:04problems is that they tend to be or some
0:27:07of them are very skittish that was that
0:27:11was my and see now this again this is
0:27:13that kind of old thinking that you and I
0:27:15worry about trying to be a contemporary
0:27:16person but I feel like in my headcanon
0:27:19in in in Florida you get a lot of
0:27:22adopted greyhounds because they just
0:27:23throw him out after a while you know the
0:27:25ground have not historically been
0:27:26treated well they get to a certain point
0:27:27and then you adopt a greyhound and then
0:27:29all the grounds I've been around
0:27:30including friends of mine who adopted
0:27:32them you know you know we were just down
0:27:33the street from a dog track right and
0:27:35you could you could adopt grand but I
0:27:37just remember them being like skittish
0:27:39whoo skittish very very very onion on
0:27:43and unhappy very printer naturally
0:27:46nervous animals nervous I mean they've
0:27:48been chasing an electric rabbit
0:27:50their whole lives and I presumably being
0:27:53kept in the surplus cages that they use
0:27:56for meals or worse than feels like that
0:28:01maybe maybe got them from tysons chicken
0:28:03and their chicken cages and so these
0:28:05dogs are not what I had grand quality of
0:28:07life probably not high on the list not
0:28:09high right and I think before people
0:28:11adopted them they just became dog food
0:28:12at the end
0:28:13yeah oh gosh right into the Soylent
0:28:16Green Machine which is why there's so
0:28:18much encephalitis and dogs is that right
0:28:21well yeah Mad Dog disease you've heard
0:28:23of this house that actually that
0:28:25explains a lot too
0:28:26yeah but bored what's their animals you
0:28:28know other animals right so why are we
0:28:30even talking about him and I don't know
0:28:32but boys come out sometimes even if
0:28:37you've treated them well even if you fed
0:28:39them food that you made out of raw
0:28:42materials even if you feed them out of
0:28:44your hand like you're trying to entice a
0:28:47dough out of the forest this of the
0:28:51first boards are we got after the
0:28:53interregnum was this board that even
0:28:57though it was four feet tall at the
0:28:58shoulder it you know it if you if you
0:29:03close the book to hard to start with
0:29:06leap six feet in the air and lands you
0:29:09know try and hide under the couch Paul
0:29:11communication that's so awful
0:29:13yeah terrible part of a dog called a
0:29:15Belgian tavern isn't a Belgian to burn
0:29:19like a something you keep gravy and it's
0:29:23yeah I mean we would call it a gravy
0:29:25boat not knowing that there is actually
0:29:26a term of art sure Belgian traverse you
0:29:28having the Belgian tavern not the boat
0:29:30the tavern know that return tervuren
0:29:33turn I live with a fella a limited was
0:29:37really really poor after college like
0:29:38everybody and so I should we shared this
0:29:41what would you call it I mean it was
0:29:44barely even it was less it was less than
0:29:46in law it was basically a room in a
0:29:48bathroom and it was really really really
0:29:50small and we slept across two photons in
0:29:53undermining bathroom and so we would
0:29:56sleep in there and my friend so is the
0:29:57three of us too tall guys me and one
0:30:00guy's Belgian tavern
0:30:02and yes yeah so so yeah yeah basically
0:30:06in like what probably 250 square feet on
0:30:08my god and it was very narrow it was it
0:30:12was you know an in-law ish think it was
0:30:13somebody had taken a room that shouldn't
0:30:15really be a place where people live and
0:30:17made it into a room and we paid i think
0:30:19two hundred dollars a month for the
0:30:20three of us to live there
0:30:21mh3u plus the dog but the dog plus uh
0:30:24forget the dog's name but it was so
0:30:26narrow basically was like little little
0:30:27hallway with a place you could sleep and
0:30:30this poor dog
0:30:31it's not it's it's so awful he to adopt
0:30:34this it been like basically its entire
0:30:36life for years had been being in a cage
0:30:38and beaten
0:30:38that's it beaten cage cage beaten like
0:30:40that was this dog's life and it was
0:30:41hopelessly wrecked emotionally just
0:30:44scotch dog it was terrible this poor dog
0:30:47but like anything that happened in the
0:30:49house
0:30:49anything that happens in this poor dog
0:30:50it would it wanted to run away but it
0:30:54was the the hallway was too narrow for
0:30:56him to turn around so it would run
0:30:59backwards through the haha and yeah I
0:31:01don't know I you don't usually see a dog
0:31:03moving backwards unless something has
0:31:05gone horribly horribly wrong you see a
0:31:07dog go backwards for a second right
0:31:09we'll take a step or two but to watch a
0:31:11day a giant giant shepherd dog run
0:31:14backwards to her house is such a
0:31:15chilling image because they're looking
0:31:17over their shoulder right there kind of
0:31:18looking over this way looking over that
0:31:19way
0:31:20backing up he did enough that I think
0:31:22you got a pretty good feel for the
0:31:24hallway
0:31:24huh but it was i'm not i'm not only i'm
0:31:27laughing because I haven't thought about
0:31:28this in years but like that the image of
0:31:30that poor dog running backwards down the
0:31:32hallway was just it was so awful
0:31:33yeah I feel for those dogs that's a
0:31:36terrible thing and so but so after the
0:31:38interregnum yeah you guys so so back
0:31:40into the boards way business got into
0:31:42borzoi business we had this dog that you
0:31:45know that left up on the top of
0:31:47furniture like a mountain goat whenever
0:31:48you stirred your tea with a spoon fall
0:31:52and it was determined that this dog was
0:31:55too too nervous to live in the city
0:32:02right it was it was not it was not
0:32:06enjoyable to own this dog because the
0:32:09dog had no affection for humans of any
0:32:13kind
0:32:13and I mean what could you do with the
0:32:17dog I i had a very interesting
0:32:18experience with it i was walking the dog
0:32:21one day and was kind of walking in the
0:32:24forest and I came because we always
0:32:27voice train our dogs so that we try to
0:32:29walk home without leashes so that the
0:32:32you know it just knows to stay at your
0:32:34knee and we're walking through the
0:32:37forest where it's going to be you know
0:32:39it's easy to kind of keep the keep the
0:32:43situation under control we're all alone
0:32:45out here in the forest and we pop out of
0:32:46the woods and we're on a busy street and
0:32:50we were in the process of training this
0:32:53dog and it was not fully trained and we
0:32:56got to the street and it jumped into the
0:32:58street and it was a it was a four-lane
0:33:03road and there was a bus hurdling down
0:33:08the road and this dog just jumped right
0:33:10in front of the bus
0:33:11oh no it was it jumped into the road and
0:33:14the bus was going 60 miles an hour and
0:33:17it was seven feet from the dog and I
0:33:21went ah and I you know and I could see
0:33:24the bus driver who was also like ah and
0:33:27in the time between the bus driver
0:33:32seeing the dog but before he could slam
0:33:36his foot on the brake the dog saw the
0:33:38bus and accelerate from 0 to 60 miles an
0:33:40hour in less than a second just anything
0:33:43is it didn't it didn't keep moving
0:33:45perpendicular to the bus it turned and
0:33:49went in the direction the bus was
0:33:51traveling and accelerated away from the
0:33:54from the bus that was going 45 miles an
0:33:57hour
0:33:57like it's just took off and accelerated
0:34:00away
0:34:02I've never seen anything like it in my
0:34:03life it was the most stupendous feet of
0:34:07of animal athleticism and it was when I
0:34:11uh knows when I finally understood what
0:34:13a wonder what these dogs could do course
0:34:17it took me an hour and have to find the
0:34:18dog who
0:34:19but anyway so that dog we did not we
0:34:23I think sent back to the breeder
0:34:27perhaps to live the rest of his life on
0:34:30a farm not sure then we got a second dog
0:34:35who just a baby baby puppy at this dog
0:34:38was a lover a wonderful wonderful dog
0:34:41who had some as it grew up some awful
0:34:45hip dysplasia your own is never able to
0:34:48walk like it sort of you know its back
0:34:51legs were like an injured rabbit it was
0:34:54like he'd been hit by a car but they
0:34:55just grew up that way and we nursed this
0:34:59dog for a long time and it's just what
0:35:00it wanted to please it was the happiest
0:35:03most wonderful dog but as you know about
0:35:06my mom she's fairly unsentimental and
0:35:10that dog went back to the breeder
0:35:12perhaps to live on a farm
0:35:13uh-huh and then there was a long period
0:35:16where there were no boys again because
0:35:18we had at least figured out that the the
0:35:21Alaska Lauren was to get the Alaska line
0:35:25represented too much inbreeding perhaps
0:35:30from the puppies that my mom it's had
0:35:33ceded all this is like a fucking story
0:35:35isn't complicated back into the back in
0:35:37the sixties because we're not hosted bar
0:35:39Byron guitar that's right where the
0:35:41where the boards of Alaska coming from
0:35:43if not Seattle quickly and then so we
0:35:48went away when a long time and then
0:35:50there then we got into the silken wind
0:35:52sound era where and Gibson was the first
0:35:57and then barley barley came along and
0:35:59barley was the silken barley was a
0:36:02beautiful second wind pound let's be
0:36:04honest and we had barley for several
0:36:07years
0:36:08barley and Gibson several years they
0:36:10lived together in harmony but barley had
0:36:15probably had chronic diarrhea not here
0:36:17that I don't think that's my kind of
0:36:19that will not stand with your mom I'm
0:36:20guessing you know and i know i know that
0:36:22a lot of people try to listen to this
0:36:24program when they're eating breakfast
0:36:25lunch or dinner
0:36:26yeah and it's only a matter of time
0:36:28before we say something that will turn
0:36:30you off your food chronic means it
0:36:31happens a lot it's hard to stop
0:36:33that's right and so much just a little
0:36:34puddle call
0:36:36look what barley made oh look here it is
0:36:40it's never like it's more like you just
0:36:41live in a constant state of like well
0:36:43when's the next time I'll have to clean
0:36:44this up
0:36:45yeah and it made the bed made the
0:36:46backyard fairly uninhabitable and also
0:36:49it is taking place mostly outside
0:36:50oh yeah for the most part but it was I
0:36:54think it was self-perpetuating right if
0:36:56you whatever is causing the diarrhea if
0:36:59you're pooping in the yard and then as
0:37:02barley would do just like just lounging
0:37:05on top of these a coupon that's in the
0:37:09biome now it's everywhere it's like
0:37:11that's why you gotta wash your hands
0:37:12that's exactly right don't generally
0:37:14wash their hands so he never got better
0:37:15over the course of four or five years
0:37:17and as you know as a regular series of
0:37:19this program will know my mom is fairly
0:37:20unsentimental and barley was a lovely
0:37:24guy and dare I say it a member of our
0:37:27family and then one day barley was gone
0:37:31and we were like what my mom said well I
0:37:37just you know dog was never well
0:37:40whoa and so it went back to the breeder
0:37:43she's she's she's a tough lady stuff
0:37:46lady back to the breeder now with
0:37:48there's a lot of words you used to live
0:37:49on a farm and back to the breeder aah
0:37:51RRR these euphemisms live on a farm is a
0:37:55euphemism that's I i learned that's a
0:37:57euphemism ya back to the breeder is not
0:37:59my mom will even after 45 years of
0:38:04owning a purebred dog
0:38:06we'll take it back to the breeder or
0:38:08they just something we keep the receipt
0:38:10sir how's that work now the Breeders all
0:38:11know who the dogs were when she's
0:38:13probably kind of famous like you'd want
0:38:15you want to take you want to take her
0:38:17out with pound what's called ya whip at
0:38:19home no beautiful scissors the silken
0:38:21windows so can win town'd yeah and my
0:38:24mom was just like basically she would go
0:38:27back to the breaker and say you have
0:38:29sold me a defective dog right and i have
0:38:33no way of knowing what their negotiation
0:38:35is like or what the Breeders responses
0:38:37but you know a lot of these breeders are
0:38:39running puppy mills are all yeah 1030
0:38:42good ones are probably like Nordstrom
0:38:43where they'll take stuff back even if it
0:38:45wasn't theirs if you listen we're not
0:38:47still encouraged here this is going to
0:38:48be this is a good ass dog and
0:38:50dogs dogs papers and it's the papers i
0:38:53think that that keep the dog from going
0:38:55to live on a farm
0:38:56the papers are like a dog receipt but
0:38:58but also it's a sort of like a baby book
0:39:00yeah and i think the breeder wants to
0:39:02wants to know wants to maintain the her
0:39:05knowledge of the line of the bloodline
0:39:08that's right so she wants to keep track
0:39:10of all the of all the dogs and if if if
0:39:15dog is defective
0:39:16uh-huh she will rescue you know that'll
0:39:18change that will change the way you make
0:39:20them have intercourse right exactly i
0:39:21think i don't know MA barley was not
0:39:25effective except for this pooping and
0:39:28also barley was a smaller dog Gibson but
0:39:31he believed he was a bigger dog he was
0:39:33always dominating Gibson and socially in
0:39:36my mom's house of course as you know
0:39:38there's only one top dog
0:39:40mhm she gets up early and behind barley
0:39:43always eat when he was on a walk he
0:39:45always inched his nose one centimeter in
0:39:48front of my mom's me maybe a bad idea
0:39:51bad idea bad idea about barley was
0:39:53irrepressible and could never
0:39:57it's not that he didn't understand all
0:39:59he understood he understood he just
0:40:01wasn't gonna get with the program and so
0:40:05she's kept as long as she did
0:40:07well that's the thing but you know I
0:40:08tried to get with the program one
0:40:11well I think my right kind of my nose
0:40:14doesn't go in front of her knee no way I
0:40:19don't want her to
0:40:20I don't want to tap me on the back of
0:40:21the neck and go back at it's interesting
0:40:24though that
0:40:26Shh sure mom is so interesting um
0:40:29there's something to this dog thing
0:40:31though cause she kept at it's a lot of
0:40:33people i mean a lot of people like you
0:40:35know normal people you get a dog and
0:40:38they are inexperienced with dogs could
0:40:39be any kind of pet it could be an AI
0:40:41maybe a big screen TV but you get
0:40:43something in your life you don't really
0:40:44understand what's happening with it
0:40:45something goes bad enough and it's not
0:40:48even a question
0:40:49you are now out of that business right
0:40:52so for example like a lot of people you
0:40:53know you get you get a dog the dog bite
0:40:55somebody
0:40:56not only is that dog gonna live on a
0:40:58farm but you don't wait call we're done
0:41:02with dogs we are never have
0:41:04doing that again i'm just i'm interested
0:41:05that your mom seems to have some kind of
0:41:07stake in this and with this particular
0:41:09bloodline this particular breed ish area
0:41:13of the boys are like dogs with now is as
0:41:16gifts in the end of the line for her and
0:41:18she hasn't got another one how she know
0:41:21so at the at the at the last right my
0:41:24mom this is the thing
0:41:25Gibson was a constant companion for my
0:41:28mom for 13 years spent I mean they were
0:41:33never apart and they were in this
0:41:36strange marriage where the kind of
0:41:42didn't really like each other maybe I
0:41:45mean they tolerated each other
0:41:47Gibson adored her worshipped her but she
0:41:51never quite did what he wanted all
0:41:54Gibson wanted was to was to sleep on the
0:41:56couch and eat spaghetti
0:41:57yeah and my mom never let you like to
0:41:59see like walks to write and he loved
0:42:01walks so they would go on walks and they
0:42:04loved that activity together but she
0:42:07never let him eat spaghetti and she
0:42:08never let him get on the couch
0:42:09why not uh because he because it's her
0:42:13couch personal that's true and you don't
0:42:15want dog here on the couch and you don't
0:42:17want the dog to think that it belongs on
0:42:18the causes that couch in the back the
0:42:20back window
0:42:21that's right and you don't feed the dog
0:42:23spaghetti because you're not a dingaling
0:42:25right dogs a cat a cat that loves to
0:42:28getty that's what's even weirder
0:42:30oh yeah well and the cat we've got now I
0:42:32hate me i had made some late-night
0:42:34macaroni and cheese few weeks ago I sat
0:42:37down for a second I I turned back to the
0:42:39TV and sit in the dark matter
0:42:40well I've never seen this cat devour
0:42:43food like the one time i put macaroni on
0:42:45the floor she went bananas now my
0:42:47understanding and I may be wrong but it
0:42:49is that cats are pure carnivores and
0:42:51they don't want to eat anything that
0:42:53isn't that isn't meat
0:42:55I don't know my cats have like any kind
0:42:58of vegetable portion of their diet we
0:43:01should have John syracuse about this
0:43:03might be an adaptation or evolution call
0:43:05me that they might have evolved you
0:43:07might have evolved well-liked even since
0:43:08we got the cash you might have evolved a
0:43:10little bit you never know we should ask
0:43:11about that but now i don't know i can't
0:43:13explain why they would want pasta maybe
0:43:14it's the snow
0:43:15I you know these are salty pastas might
0:43:17not be the pasta it might be as with
0:43:19humans it's you know possible to be
0:43:21honest it's a convenience for butter and
0:43:22salt like so many things in life
0:43:24well and also let me I'm sorry to the
0:43:27people who have persisted in trying to
0:43:28eat their lunch or dinner
0:43:30yeah but this is always been a feeling
0:43:32of mine
0:43:33what does pasta most resembled from the
0:43:36natural world worms or uh is any trails
0:43:45Oh cuts it looks like guts and that's
0:43:48why would definitely put differently you
0:43:50watches on be showing you see some guts
0:43:52you think wow that that looks a lot like
0:43:54lasagna
0:43:55yeah that's right and so the reason I
0:43:58think that we love pasta is that it
0:44:01reminds us in our primitive mind of
0:44:04eating the best part of a kill
0:44:07uh-huh which is the entrails so we sit
0:44:11down to a big plate of spaghetti with
0:44:12meat sauce and a little longer controls
0:44:15carnivores I bet entrails are a comfort
0:44:17food em trails are the best because
0:44:19they're also full of the of grains and
0:44:22other nutritious all I see your point
0:44:26because it's like a double meal you get
0:44:27like you get you get a meal inside them
0:44:29you know you get like a little prize you
0:44:30get you whatever they ate their
0:44:32basically and that never occurred to me
0:44:34John that's brilliant not to go too deep
0:44:36into this
0:44:36well what are sausages are sausages are
0:44:40like to build a purpose in trail they're
0:44:42stuffed and they're basically literally
0:44:44they're literally intestines stuff with
0:44:47other parts of the animal it's pretty
0:44:49it's pretty it's pretty grotesque if you
0:44:51really think about which is our natural
0:44:53thing you kill you kill the thing and
0:44:55everybody jumps around you rip it open
0:44:57and the first thing there is basically a
0:44:59pile of sausages I enjoy sausage right
0:45:02examine their sausages filled with
0:45:04whatever the Antelope was most recently
0:45:07eating so I think that a cat might think
0:45:12when it encounters macaroni and cheese
0:45:14that here are some delicious entrails of
0:45:17something and I are cats colorblind
0:45:19I'm sorry color color sight-impaired I
0:45:22think I believe John siracusa yeah a
0:45:27kooza gusta a barracuda attic with my
0:45:32might know better weather cats have
0:45:35evolved to be colorblind
0:45:37ok no it's an annotation that's right in
0:45:39order to better see prey in the night I
0:45:43like those like those goggles this is
0:45:45seal team six where's SEAL Team six
0:45:47copies if you're in SEAL Team six you're
0:45:49basically simulating being a cat that's
0:45:51right you put on those goggles and
0:45:52suddenly you can see everything better
0:45:54you're simulating being a being a cat in
0:45:56a in a world that has been terraformed
0:45:58under green Sun mmm morning a green moon
0:46:02let's call it a green green moon shots
0:46:04it's reflecting the light off the green
0:46:06sign
0:46:06yeah yeah okay all right the baby sun
0:46:09hits the green moon you get double green
0:46:11now that's why any cackles cackles
0:46:14cackles or or it is a I'm sorry not a
0:46:18science fiction universe about a
0:46:21speculative fiction universe where the
0:46:23moon on this planet is actually made of
0:46:25green cheese
0:46:26oh boy so the Sun could be any color the
0:46:30light is reflecting off the green cheese
0:46:32and as you know because we're receiving
0:46:36the greenlight it means that actually
0:46:39every other color was being reflected in
0:46:43the green was the one that wasn't being
0:46:45is that because of refraction John it
0:46:47well it's sort of like a performer is a
0:46:48form of refraction it's like a prism but
0:46:53it's like it's like a prism except it's
0:46:56an innocent project innocence project
0:46:59for light it's an innocence project for
0:47:01light to using DNA to find just the
0:47:03green light exactly
0:47:04okay that makes sense i'm glad that we
0:47:06had that I'm glad we worked through this
0:47:07ourselves that we're helping a lot of
0:47:09people today but you can imagine now
0:47:11imagine being in SEAL Team six
0:47:14uh-huh okay and get a mission that's
0:47:17right you've got a mission but maybe the
0:47:21US Navy is training these guys because
0:47:22they're aware of a planet that has these
0:47:26conditions and seal team guys are
0:47:29actually astronauts astronauts in
0:47:32training and they're not even aware of
0:47:34it
0:47:35oh that would make a really good
0:47:36speculative fiction novel right folks
0:47:39see that's so smart it says again but
0:47:42it's like ender's game right we can't
0:47:43really tell you spoiler we can't really
0:47:45tell you what you're training for and
0:47:47you may actually be doing the mission
0:47:48check it out when you're training for
0:47:51your through training you think that you
0:47:53are in somalia in the middle of the
0:47:55night to kill a warlord thank you for
0:47:57your surface but really who foes are
0:48:01part of a secret one world government
0:48:03that's under the North Pole and they
0:48:05come from a planet that's why they have
0:48:07big big almond-shaped eyes they come
0:48:09from a planet where the moon is made of
0:48:11green cheese right right and this group
0:48:13of highly trained soldiers is actually
0:48:15the first astronaut corps to return to
0:48:18the info home planet
0:48:20ok I got it and here's the thing we call
0:48:23a terraforming which is very earth
0:48:24centric that you might be very deforming
0:48:27so they're going to find a way to make
0:48:28our planet green because that's how they
0:48:30roll like greener not a fake ring like
0:48:32we've got like a real green like a green
0:48:33cheese maybe they're going to do that
0:48:35maybe they're going to terraform the
0:48:36moon to turn it from the Luna for me
0:48:39Luna form which is a great kind of a man
0:48:43in a uniform
0:48:43that's right it's a it's a sports bra
0:48:45but from what front lifts and separates
0:48:49thank you
0:48:51I don't you know want to reveal the
0:48:54money machine counterfeit money machine
0:48:56thank you and he was polite
0:49:00how many times have we watched the I
0:49:03don't know what I've never been happier
0:49:07than sitting around in our underwear
0:49:09watching that you know in the holidays
0:49:11the salad days we haven't even
0:49:13discovered the mighty boosh all that's a
0:49:15hell of a show
0:49:16captain Kevin script in cabinets I'm I'm
0:49:19starting I'm never steal team dxtory is
0:49:21starting to worry me
0:49:23ok also what everybody come back to
0:49:25create lists because i think i may have
0:49:26discovered some of the greatest pages on
0:49:28wikipedia and they're about Crayola
0:49:30colors that please continue
0:49:32no no I that you have you have just
0:49:34dropped some major you have dropped a
0:49:36major diarrhea of science right
0:49:39chronically Kyle the chronic i wanna
0:49:41whenever somebody says i have found the
0:49:43best part of wikipedia you have my
0:49:45undivided attention because I spend more
0:49:48time on wikipedia then I do with my own
0:49:50family
0:49:51that's as it should be i mean you got
0:49:53more learning from Wikipedia Oh have you
0:49:54ever donated to wikipedia when they do
0:49:56those fundraising things I know this is
0:49:58going to be embarrassing and we
0:49:59shouldn't know I give my new things but
0:50:01haven't given my need them and the
0:50:03reason is really terrible
0:50:04I i hate those ads they make me they
0:50:06make me angry and it's terrible because
0:50:07i use it maybe the site that i use more
0:50:09than any other full stop
0:50:11so should I should do that I i use my
0:50:13money the following way I let the market
0:50:15decide when an entrepreneur comes up
0:50:18with an idea who i will i will let i
0:50:22will my money is like well it's the
0:50:24market right and so wikipedia has not
0:50:28successfully entrepreneurs you two into
0:50:32that oil out of my money right they
0:50:34entrepreneur you right out of your money
0:50:37wikipedia hasn't it's like NPR I just
0:50:40turn it off when it asks me for think we
0:50:42have a funny story there are mutual
0:50:44friends got Simpson he he gives money
0:50:46all kinds of stuff like hell just setup
0:50:48setup easy time was that he would just
0:50:50sit up and I drinking and just every
0:50:51night he just donate more money to fix
0:50:52kids palette in Iraq like you are very
0:50:54generous guy you can do that for a very
0:50:56small amount of money you can fix the
0:50:57kids palette
0:50:58yeah it's a really nice project and I
0:51:00get things like that but he inserted a
0:51:03thought technology for me that I have
0:51:04trouble on thinking now which is you
0:51:07know this is boring but but you know p
0:51:09yeah
0:51:10PPS if the kind of things that they run
0:51:13as they're like Marky programs they put
0:51:16it this way early nineteen nineties when
0:51:18I would when I was very into getting
0:51:21very giving very into public meetings
0:51:22very into public radio very into public
0:51:24TV you know they would show during
0:51:25during the fun drives they would show
0:51:27something they didn't usually show which
0:51:29was a marathon of things like Fawlty
0:51:31Towers oh yeah that's what got me into
0:51:33fawlty towers and I remember actually i
0:51:36was recording since this is so dorky but
0:51:38I remember recording fawlty towers and
0:51:40the marathon was on and I called to
0:51:41donate and I had a VHS for years of my
0:51:44name running across the street screaming
0:51:46I don't really need to be a big deal to
0:51:48be on TV
0:51:49ya did it was it like that Bank of old
0:51:51people answering phones and then you one
0:51:53of them was talking to you now oh yeah I
0:51:55did that I mean I did that was not even
0:51:57see me don't know I was at home but but
0:52:00it was still very much the day where you
0:52:01have usually same things that you have a
0:52:02man and a woman sitting there not
0:52:04they pre-taped them and they buy them in
0:52:05packages so little better will be things
0:52:08like us whatever Suze Orman is the
0:52:11leopard skin moneylady there's her you
0:52:13get things like the brain training stuff
0:52:15all this brain training stuff or you
0:52:17could do up there is always a lot of doo
0:52:19wop sure and I don't know but even like
0:52:21kqed kqe these main kqd has the largest
0:52:25listenership for a given public radio
0:52:27station in the United States really yeah
0:52:30it's really quite large but it was WGN
0:52:32in Boston
0:52:33ah I don't think so WBEZ Boston so21 of
0:52:39you or I their day to resume good
0:52:44uh anyway but you know the trouble is we
0:52:47need those brain training things which I
0:52:49have to say have off for a long time
0:52:50seemed kinda like BS it's one thing to
0:52:52say oh grandma does sodoku and she seems
0:52:55a little smarter and when that are going
0:52:56to say BS or PBS ppl peanut butter
0:53:00canned shit anyway i'm looking at the
0:53:04page essentially this links if you ok no
0:53:06it's all right sorry sorry i sent you a
0:53:08link to the list of crayola crayon
0:53:10colors
0:53:11oh this is this something where the
0:53:13flesh turns into a flasher
0:53:15oh yeah there's stuff my bad you didn't
0:53:17wash and you got the waters what I saw
0:53:19one time I remember like an engineering
0:53:20diagram of the changes over the years
0:53:23and this one's more textual it's this is
0:53:26so beautiful and amazing
0:53:28oh I didn't know anything about this
0:53:31marilyn is a color called macaroni and
0:53:33cheese introducing any number three
0:53:35look at this robin's egg blue you know I
0:53:37think what you just did was you just you
0:53:40just foreshadowed my next collection all
0:53:43it's a great look at that look at that
0:53:44image huh
0:53:44when you let me have some of those in
0:53:45your house can you imagine what that
0:53:47would be like to imagine
0:53:48uh-huh let's imagine look around look at
0:53:51these typefaces to permanent geranium
0:53:53lake 234 my song
0:54:00he's off supply got a big weights look
0:54:01like permanent geranium lake is some
0:54:04some natural feature on the on the
0:54:07uniform
0:54:08what's been uniformed yeah sure it's
0:54:10raining in like maybe like you I took
0:54:11you off that first we'll have to say I
0:54:13think if you're gonna you're gonna be a
0:54:14new pho it's a good idea if you have the
0:54:17technology
0:54:17GN assume you do to build your base
0:54:18under the North Pole who's going to
0:54:20check who's gonna check there
0:54:22that's right they don't even dust that
0:54:23like you don't know I mean having people
0:54:24at the North Pole right now
0:54:26mm I counting a counting the guys from
0:54:30Top Gear accounting Jeremy Clarkson
0:54:32administration three humans
0:54:36I'm so I would love it if we just stayed
0:54:37there three human sense 700,000 UFOs
0:54:42under the under the ice cap Alexa how
0:54:46many people are at the North Pole right
0:54:47now nothing
0:54:53oh well that baffled alexa try again
0:54:55I'll try with i'll try with Siri how
0:54:58many people are at the North Pole right
0:55:00now huh i'm gonna say 12 Siri is it
0:55:06raining
0:55:08uh-oh there's a place called North Pole
0:55:11Alaska and that has a population of 2178
0:55:14now I've been to North Pole ask that
0:55:16seems that's that seems that's that's
0:55:17some shot in gaming John no no the
0:55:20reason that North Pole Alaska is named
0:55:22what is named is who sends letters to
0:55:24the north pole 0 children
0:55:27that's right and if children send their
0:55:30children charities right if children
0:55:32sends a letter to the North Pole words
0:55:35ago sea ice and they just throw away
0:55:38right except they don't they send them
0:55:41to the North Pole Alaska you think they
0:55:43still do that
0:55:44sure their kids all around i mean think
0:55:46about all the kids that all the kitchen
0:55:48children if children writes a letter it
0:55:50goes through the postal system and
0:55:51somehow that gets conveyed to North Pole
0:55:53Alaska that's right that's tremendous
0:55:55that's right if you know do they know
0:55:57it's Christmas in Africa yes they do
0:55:59they know they just don't care because
0:56:00they don't really observe it there they
0:56:02know now because of Bob Geldof right and
0:56:05what it was a free service
0:56:07it's right in the song send your letters
0:56:11to our North Pole Alaska I think it so I
0:56:14think it was sung by willie nelson you
0:56:16let and your leadership in like manner
0:56:20shape that's right let it let it in one
0:56:22of these colors one of these Crayola
0:56:24colors i think i'm not even i'm not even
0:56:26out of the Reds dark Venetian red yeah
0:56:30how do they know how do they know what
0:56:32dark Venetian red looks like i guess in
0:56:35some ways they get to be the armature
0:56:36look at somebody made a distinction of
0:56:39thistle vs orchid macaroni and cheese
0:56:42and looks very much like the color that
0:56:45we used to call flesh that's right yes
0:56:48it doesn't look like macaroni and cheese
0:56:50though it looks like macaroni and cheese
0:56:51that somebody put some ketchup in one of
0:56:54these from hang on 1903 all they could
0:56:56name the shit out of some colors in 1903
0:56:58dood van Dyke Brown as scary as i got to
0:57:03make some Van Dyke Brown you got burnt
0:57:05or raw umber yeah inchworm inchworm
0:57:09mountain meadow flash tent there it is
0:57:11flesh flash flesh for fantasy permanent
0:57:15magenta / but hey there's a permanent
0:57:21geranium lake
0:57:22look at that hold on right in them okay
0:57:25see now I'm starting to get suspicious
0:57:26we're looking through the yellows then
0:57:28we come down to the Greens then we come
0:57:30down to the blues and right in the
0:57:32middle between turquoise blue and
0:57:33sky-blue there is a color which is the
0:57:38darkest black blue in the world
0:57:41completely out of place
0:57:43uh-huh this color wheel and it's called
0:57:45outer space
0:57:46what you find that what you're not an
0:57:49outer SE 1998 to present differently
0:57:52after after we became after the UFOs
0:57:55revealed themselves i don't think i've
0:57:57ever seen that color before outer space
0:57:59I'm not sure I mean really fully
0:58:00experiencing that color because I look
0:58:01at it as I stare at it it's kind of
0:58:03black it's kind of blew its kind of
0:58:05green right and it was not belong
0:58:07between turquoise blue sky blue it
0:58:09belongs down by midnight blue it belongs
0:58:11but between midnight blue and navy blue
0:58:13why is it where it is if if not if not
0:58:16as a as an indicator as a trigger
0:58:19maybe uh huh to remind us how I see if
0:58:221998 let's get a little shot of what
0:58:24outer space looks like it's getting
0:58:26talking about this let's get him talking
0:58:27about it we've got we've got the first
0:58:29astronaut corps in training
0:58:30eventually we're gonna do the reveal and
0:58:33when who's going to do the reveal this
0:58:35is why this is why the Republican
0:58:36Congress won't consider a new Supreme
0:58:39Court doesn't want to meet with them
0:58:41they won't even meet with them because
0:58:42they know that work
0:58:43I mean close to reveal day revealed is
0:58:46coming revealed days come almost every
0:58:48one of these names not everyone but many
0:58:50of these names introduced in the
0:58:51nineties especially the middle late
0:58:53nineties the that many of them do sound
0:58:55like something from urban dictionary up
0:58:59their color called neo-maxi zoom dweeby
0:59:03I don't think so but she can get you got
0:59:07mango tango which sounds like a sammy
0:59:08hagar record and for Mango Tango guitar
0:59:13can shoot the balls off of a bowl from I
0:59:18don't know where that come from but that
0:59:20should do calm now
0:59:22banana mania right all of these sound
0:59:25like drinks at a Jimmy Buffett ah well
0:59:30blue yonder that totally sell these do
0:59:32purple mountains majesty
0:59:33yep yep I just feel like I'm at feel
0:59:35like I'm at cabana and Key West can get
0:59:37you can I kind of cool get your fresh
0:59:39raspberry jam haha how the razzmatazz we
0:59:43try to razzmatazz
0:59:44oh you know it's good i'm still deciding
0:59:47between the mobile lists and the picture
0:59:49but in the fuzzy wuzzy these also matrix
0:59:51deserts and now that doesn't drink
0:59:53timberwolf antique brass antique brass
0:59:55antique brass they so there is a
0:59:57razzmatazz razzmatazz present at
0:59:57razzmatazz razzmatazz present at
1:00:00this is a what's called a hot-pink what
1:00:02we call that yeah it's a hot pink but
1:00:03look up there jazz berry jam is really i
1:00:05mean are these drag queen names
1:00:08ladies and gentlemen give a nice warm
1:00:10welcome to eggplant has berry jam or
1:00:16yeah or are they are they drink names
1:00:17and then here we get down below the
1:00:19Pink's first of all eggplant doesn't
1:00:21belong under jazz berry jam either you
1:00:23should edit this you should have this
1:00:24page we get down below carmine and blush
1:00:28and tickle me pink who know right yeah I
1:00:32see a big get pink pink pink pink blush
1:00:34right tickle me pink mobilis sherbert
1:00:38this is sure but how do you say it
1:00:40well it should be sure but but that is a
1:00:43sherbert they haven't listed as sherbert
1:00:46oh listen to this triple a sweet name
1:00:48for a dog if sherbet or sherbert
1:00:51sherbert all sherbert with you get Nancy
1:00:53Chandler sherbert that would be a great
1:00:56name for a son
1:00:57haha those are bird is my boy sherbert
1:01:00and people be like uh-huh uh-huh that's
1:01:03if you look at if you look at pink
1:01:05sherbert you look over in the metadata
1:01:08and it was formerly known as brink pink
1:01:11drink pink you think thats that's
1:01:14considered insensitive to the pink
1:01:17community or something
1:01:18uh oh it was formerly known as bring
1:01:19pink between 1998 in 2005 so sometime in
1:01:232005 somebody a crayola was like bring
1:01:25Pink's not working let's call it pink
1:01:27sherbert fuzzy-wuzzy used to be called
1:01:30fuzzy-wuzzy brown which sounds like a
1:01:33question
1:01:34fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy wuzzy who
1:01:37about that then we get down into this
1:01:39bottom part of the color wheel where all
1:01:42these colors just don't belong to we
1:01:44don't belong it seems like sometimes
1:01:45when you get into the browns and grays
1:01:47people get confused about how to
1:01:48continue
1:01:49well I do this is what you want manatee
1:01:50manatee is a kind of blue gray put it
1:01:53out put it right off the key west right
1:01:55with the recipes for their very they're
1:01:56gentle giants I feel like own we're not
1:01:59even down to razzle-dazzle rose and
1:02:03blizzard blue well but so I arranged my
1:02:06shirts by color did you know this if you
1:02:08like i didn't i didn't go without
1:02:11respect to collar type or french cuff
1:02:13you know you totally by telling you like
1:02:15those hipsters with the books
1:02:17oh yeah except i hate that when I walk
1:02:19into somebody's house in their
1:02:20bookshelves are arranged by color I want
1:02:21to kick them that's it have you seen the
1:02:23new thing where people went backwards to
1:02:26start with the page is facing out what
1:02:28was the point of that it's it's really
1:02:31telling to me that's telling that they
1:02:33bought their books by the pound
1:02:35yeah basically you could buy books by
1:02:36the foot like ESO books by the foot you
1:02:39could buy them and you you're certainly
1:02:41not going to read them they're mainly
1:02:42just things to fill up your bookcase
1:02:43full of books to fill up the Billy
1:02:46because you know Jonathan Coulton family
1:02:48arranged their books by color at one
1:02:50point and I challenge him on it was like
1:02:53you better explain this or I'm gonna
1:02:54kick you right in the knee and he said I
1:02:56can find any book on that shelf
1:02:58huh and so I had him turn around and i
1:03:01named a couple of books and he turned
1:03:03and went right to him
1:03:04we're being insensitive I don't know I
1:03:06bet you there i bet you we have
1:03:07listeners that are looking at they're
1:03:09color-coordinated bookshelf right now
1:03:10and wondering whether they made a
1:03:13mistake or whether that's really
1:03:16something that they're gonna stick by
1:03:18it's a little cute but I arrange my
1:03:21shirts by color and I had a conversation
1:03:23with somebody the other day when I was
1:03:24like do you do you imagine that I should
1:03:27put my short sleeve shirts in with the
1:03:29long sleeve shirts because the short
1:03:32sleeve shirts belong there
1:03:34according to the color wheel principle
1:03:36even though they're totally different
1:03:38kind of shirt this person advise me yes
1:03:41they thought that the shirts a lot of
1:03:44short sleeves belong mixed in with the
1:03:47long sleeves in order to have them
1:03:50arranged by color and I did it and then
1:03:52I hated it and I took all the short
1:03:54sleeve shirts out and arrange them by
1:03:56color on a separate track I I think
1:04:00there's something to be learned from how
1:04:03libraries were run for a long time which
1:04:07is that the books are put onto the
1:04:09shelves in a very specific order that
1:04:11never wavers and if you want some
1:04:13flexibility and how you find stuff you
1:04:15use the card catalog so you can go to
1:04:17subject you go to offer you could get
1:04:20CSC also or something like that i don't
1:04:22think that should be happening
1:04:23tactically at the at the book level now
1:04:25at the shirt level for most people i'd
1:04:27say they can get away with that in your
1:04:28case you have a fair amount of shirts
1:04:30right
1:04:31sadly i have i have a ridiculous amount
1:04:34of shirts and this is it's beyond fair
1:04:36amount it's beyond unfair amount it's
1:04:39beyond unfair amount m2 redonkulous it's
1:04:43even past ridiculous it's all the way to
1:04:45redonkulous which I'll notice is one of
1:04:47these chrome Crayola colors redonkulous
1:04:49and also would be a great name for a kid
1:04:51on suites resort surely be pretty name
1:04:54for a girl
1:04:55cerulli and corn flour so really it
1:04:58would be a great name for a girl that
1:04:59you were sending to to live under the
1:05:01North Pole as a kind of emissary that's
1:05:04a good writer like you don't have a last
1:05:05name she's just called cerulean truly
1:05:07and she walks up and down the halls in a
1:05:09pencil skirt carrying eight some kind of
1:05:11like armload of got here got a hair in a
1:05:15bun in the oven or some kind of some
1:05:18kind of what was that what was that a
1:05:20movie with the bruce willis where the
1:05:23girl had orange chair all little dallas
1:05:27multipass mono yeah it's a it's a
1:05:30fulfillment of fifth element in dallas
1:05:32multipass yeah so it's a kind of Fifth
1:05:34Element scene where cerulli and the has
1:05:38like crazy hair
1:05:40uh-huh she's carrying arms not blue hair
1:05:42it's absolutely too on the nose yeah you
1:05:44might have
1:05:45she might have a maximum red purple or
1:05:47mulberry or thistle hair yeah it's well
1:05:49it's lesbian here let's be honest the
1:05:51people the best hair in the world is
1:05:54lesbian hair I want to get my haircut
1:05:55wherever the lesbians go exactly the
1:05:58astonishing is astonishing how good
1:06:00LESBIAN terrorist it is always the best
1:06:02hair even the lesbians have thicker hair
1:06:05John it seems to me like a lot of
1:06:06lessons have a nice thick head like you
1:06:08know you and I we both suffer from this
1:06:09problem we have we have a dense amount
1:06:11of hair but we have skinny hairs densely
1:06:13packed i think even the skinhead
1:06:15lesbians have better haircuts that we do
1:06:17that's just it doesn't it's I've never
1:06:19done it doesn't seem fair because God
1:06:20God love and they've been through a lot
1:06:22they deserve the good hair but could you
1:06:23share a little love at this point I mean
1:06:25you know it's 2016 kind of get a decent
1:06:27haircut
1:06:27well just make a book where it is
1:06:29explained just just make some kind of
1:06:31book where you explain what you're doing
1:06:33why it is that you have the better even
1:06:36asking for a phone number I'm saying I'm
1:06:38saying just gave me an idea how to even
1:06:40approach this that's right give me an
1:06:41idea just share your wisdom
1:06:44it's not it isn't like thrifting it's
1:06:46not where you go somewhere and it didn't
1:06:47work out your fine I'm out of the game
1:06:49for two months if I don't make the right
1:06:51decision I'm certainly not gonna have
1:06:52like 80 laying here
1:06:53well this is the thing about was being
1:06:54here it is good across the spectrum
1:06:56right it's not okay i see bad lesbian
1:06:59haircuts much anymore so this is what
1:07:01I'm saying even though even that the
1:07:02typical like Butch like flattop they get
1:07:05a better flattop and I can get a better
1:07:06flattop it's denser hair i don't i don't
1:07:09think it's about the hair i think it's
1:07:10about the science or speculation you
1:07:13think they're working for the UFOs you
1:07:15think they might be working with
1:07:16cerulean I think that cerulean
1:07:18definitely has a lesbian haircut she saw
1:07:20regardless of sexual preference because
1:07:23she's orientation gender let's set those
1:07:25things aside she has you go you go
1:07:27that's got a goddamn lesbian haircut and
1:07:29God love her because she's got info
1:07:30technology right she wins she has she
1:07:33met him she might have taught them how
1:07:35to haridwar know about that but it's
1:07:37been i think i think was being here has
1:07:39been you're gonna go right past
1:07:40terraform oh I didn't even hear hear
1:07:43form a cerulean harrogate those static
1:07:46she's got a clipboard
1:07:48no not a clipboard I think she's got an
1:07:49arm full of Kindles i just got I see
1:07:52she's got like nine Kindles and she's
1:07:54cradling them like a like a bunch of
1:07:56baby ducks who when she's walking down a
1:07:58hall on ice hall under the ocean and in
1:08:04a pencil skirt in a pencil skirt and
1:08:05it's just like something out of out of a
1:08:08a will ferrell movie or whatever whoever
1:08:10the will is that has that the bad kids
1:08:13that everybody hates sure you got the
1:08:16guy that's the guy from men in black the
1:08:17fresh prince many african-american so
1:08:20he's walking a woman he's walking along
1:08:23a whole and there's a bunch of photos of
1:08:24different kinds with guy that looks like
1:08:26a rhinoceros the banned from the city &
1:08:29cantina see now right right the
1:08:31Hammerhead guy and she's just a human
1:08:33with killer hair carrying an armload of
1:08:36Kindles that is not a hurry at all
1:08:38though a furry
1:08:40no but she had a Chippewa Fox tickler
1:08:43she made and she's not a furry but she
1:08:46may have a rabbit tail butt plug it in
1:08:49because that's what they do now right
1:08:53that's just what they do you think
1:08:54that's for me that's that's not for you
1:08:56that's for me this is this is this is
1:08:58for me i'm gonna i can do my work
1:09:00I'm not here to be judged i got an
1:09:01excellent haircut and I got it I got a
1:09:03butt plug is me and yeah that's right my
1:09:04cut a little hole in the back of my
1:09:06pencil skirt so that my grabber tailback
1:09:08clicks and stick out but i'm not a furry
1:09:10em I'm just doing this for me
1:09:12yeah yeah this does I'm not part of some
1:09:15subculture this isn't like a yellow
1:09:16handkerchief in my right bat back pocket
1:09:19or yellow handkerchief in your butt
1:09:20anyway so when i'm organizing my shirts
1:09:28i always get down here just like on this
1:09:29curio love color wheel
1:09:31yeah I get down to the to the to the
1:09:33backside and I don't know where to put
1:09:37the Greens you know what I mean I have
1:09:41trouble processing greens because I get
1:09:43a little confused about the different
1:09:44greens because here they put yellow they
1:09:48put they started red and then they put
1:09:51then they go to orange yellow green
1:09:53right that's the that's the roy g biv
1:09:56Rajat Bhatia but I start with white
1:09:59because where does that mean you have a
1:10:01lot of white shirts if you have as many
1:10:02shirts as me and where do you fit the
1:10:04whites i think in the alphabetic colors
1:10:06you start with white and then with them
1:10:07with black you start with white but you
1:10:09can't immediately go from white to red
1:10:11you have to go from white girl like that
1:10:14I'm feeling extremely old fashioned
1:10:15right now because I feel like there's
1:10:17almost exactly one kind of thing that
1:10:20should be organized by color and that
1:10:22would be convinces like crayons that are
1:10:25used for imbuing color onto other things
1:10:27organizing those things by color makes a
1:10:30lot of sense organizing most other
1:10:31things that is just not the way my brain
1:10:33works well I I feel based on utility
1:10:36like the way i would organize a kitchen
1:10:38which is mostly not much at all but like
1:10:40I always put the color in this one area
1:10:41at the high-frequency non knives go in
1:10:45this drawer the lower frequency non nice
1:10:47going this other drawer and if anything
1:10:49changes that system it's very
1:10:50off-putting to me so non knife is like a
1:10:52spatula or a spoon that has holes in it
1:10:54right get a slotted spoon won't have the
1:10:57the temperature thing you got the
1:10:59silicon bans any of the things that you
1:11:01need and that is all the various cooking
1:11:02app
1:11:03rats but I would never think about
1:11:04organizing those I mean even even stuff
1:11:07that's the princes the problem this is
1:11:09like one of those design kinds of things
1:11:10is like something that looks well
1:11:12organized is not necessarily going to be
1:11:15a useful thing
1:11:17oh no wait a minute go on well you know
1:11:19there's these trends that people go
1:11:21through the whole knowing things like
1:11:22I'm gonna lay things out in this grid
1:11:24and it's gonna be more like I understand
1:11:26that you know if that makes you happy
1:11:27like that to me is like a bug like God
1:11:30love you have fun with that
1:11:31that's um Adam Savage stuff he said he's
1:11:34an older is an older you have seen him
1:11:36know you know what Adam Savage does he
1:11:37make stuff
1:11:38yeah that's true he makes stuff just an
1:11:40old we watch out we watched show where
1:11:42he made a cannon out of a water heater
1:11:43yesterday who hasn't made a cannon out
1:11:45of a water you I thought about it but
1:11:47what kind of what kind of cannon ball do
1:11:49you shoot out of a water heater
1:11:51I don't know we skipped over the dark
1:11:52knight after that it feels it feels to
1:11:53me like what you're doing when you make
1:11:55a canada of a water heater is you are
1:11:57shooting piglets
1:11:59oh ok right I I suppose you're sending
1:12:02the pictures you've seen the pictures of
1:12:03the guy that goes out and Noel's parking
1:12:06lots right where he moves the cars
1:12:07around until they're all in the right
1:12:09spot I think you know that stuff does
1:12:13not tickle my brain the tickle the way
1:12:14it was a lot of other people's brains
1:12:16what about people that talk like this on
1:12:18the internet and apps like little mouth
1:12:20sounds always talk about smacking oh
1:12:25yeah it does that tickle your friends I
1:12:27a.s.a ski ask you to
1:12:32it's like asking yard ask you what's
1:12:34interesting is in the section called
1:12:35multicultural section 2.5 of the list of
1:12:37crayola crayon colors section called
1:12:40multicultural i think is interesting for
1:12:42several reasons because well let's take
1:12:44his red let's say what we haven't been
1:12:46saying which is that for our youth for
1:12:48our crayon our prime crayon using years
1:12:51I suspect you and i both had one crayon
1:12:53in anything over probably starting at
1:12:55the 16 but definitely 48 certainly in
1:12:57the 64 your crayon if memory serves was
1:13:00called flash installed flesh and the
1:13:02thing is it was the was the flesh color
1:13:04of somebody you really wouldn't like it
1:13:06was like somebody from like North
1:13:07Georgia it was if you like a peach
1:13:10oh yeah and then at a certain point was
1:13:11determined I think very intelligently
1:13:13that the hey you know that's that's
1:13:14that's a little bit
1:13:16that's a little bit let me that's the
1:13:17sort of normative there are a lot of
1:13:19there are a lot of other kinds of flesh
1:13:22I only I may be misusing the word
1:13:24normative because i have used it
1:13:26incorrectly on purpose for so long I
1:13:28know it's hard to go back so it 1992
1:13:30trailer released a set of eight
1:13:31multicultural crayons and italics which
1:13:34quote come in an assortment of skin
1:13:35heals I'd like to try that come in that
1:13:37you get haha well
1:13:40oh wait a minute wait a minute what's
1:13:42that called like the common varieties
1:13:45didn't use boy I'm open
1:13:48oh boy the fox tail on oh boy eight
1:13:51colors used came from their standard
1:13:53list of colors and the sellers for the
1:13:54most part well received in there has
1:13:55been some criticism footnote 14 now what
1:13:58this thing is these are overtly these
1:14:00are called multicultural out of it said
1:14:02on the box
1:14:02this is for coloring people who aren't
1:14:04white or are Caucasian right so here's
1:14:06what the colors are called apricot black
1:14:08like black is pound sign 0000 that is
1:14:15true black in internet terms you got
1:14:17burnt sienna you got mahogany which is a
1:14:20kind of a reddish you got peach CPI tan
1:14:23and then full on white is that kind of
1:14:25interesting but they didn't call them
1:14:27they didn't call them like a Palestinian
1:14:31or right ethiopian yellow cree or or
1:14:35what you're saying it's interesting that
1:14:37they still gave it these colors even
1:14:39though this is the multicultural
1:14:40addition that was kind of interesting
1:14:41well i feel 1992 is a pretty fraught
1:14:44year in political correctness Voyager
1:14:45was I was right in the center of you
1:14:47know I was in college still because i
1:14:49was in college from 1987 to 2007 team so
1:14:56clip it's anybody's gonna go fill out a
1:14:59form you're done in 92 uh I was doing
1:15:02those were though that's
1:15:04third-generation feminism we were really
1:15:06going at each other than I remember the
1:15:08first time I ever heard that phrase was
1:15:09an interview with your Instagram buddy
1:15:11Michael Stipe on MTV and for it
1:15:15it was around that time as I think maybe
1:15:17in the late eighties but he was the
1:15:18first person I ever heard use the phrase
1:15:20politically correct Michael Michael
1:15:22Stipe yeah I mean I've heard since then
1:15:25lots of times but he's the first person
1:15:26I ever heard that I remember ever using
1:15:29that phrase it goes in and out
1:15:30in another fashion and is using any kind
1:15:32of a meta way we're saying yeah well
1:15:34that's kind of thing that we would say
1:15:35today is not really politically correct
1:15:36right Xena matter how about you know I'm
1:15:41on my I'm disinterested and uninterested
1:15:43in this but I first met you and now to
1:15:46love em huh
1:15:48so I think what I think the reason that
1:15:50you have to call these colors apricot
1:15:53and mahogany is that even within various
1:15:58cultures ethnic groups there's a lot of
1:16:00variation in skin tone so if you were to
1:16:02say ethiopian there's going to be a lot
1:16:05of people in Ethiopia that doesn't look
1:16:07like like our friend grant is
1:16:09african-american
1:16:10yeah that's right from Africa means he's
1:16:12a he's one of the whitest people I've
1:16:13ever met
1:16:14he's uh comes from German aristocracy
1:16:16and he's from Africa
1:16:18yeah or like John boyega the the
1:16:20wonderful actor from Star Wars he's
1:16:22kinda sick of people calling
1:16:23african-american he's like well no I'm
1:16:24from England haha quit doing that well
1:16:27our John accuses Joseph yousa well I
1:16:32know Italian in these are totally
1:16:33Italian guy but they didn't speak
1:16:34Italian his household was i right
1:16:36they didn't speak Italian because there
1:16:38were there because it was that immigrant
1:16:40thing where the grandmother wanted their
1:16:41kids to assimilate I i think that we
1:16:45talked about this on different program i
1:16:46can give you one thought on race and
1:16:48cultural oh boy I thought on race and
1:16:50culture and I was thinking about uh fair
1:16:52amount of the last few years
1:16:53think about it for a long time there
1:16:56have been let's put it this way there
1:16:58have been people who said hey you know
1:16:59we should be a little cooler about race
1:17:01and stop making it this divide where the
1:17:04divide is important and we make the
1:17:06rules as white people for why that
1:17:08divide is important I think in some form
1:17:10or fashion that's been a lot of the
1:17:11problem for ever
1:17:13I and the Indians things though even up
1:17:15into the last five or so years that is
1:17:18still been a real struggle nothing it's
1:17:20not a struggle anymore but you know what
1:17:21there's a part of me that thinks that
1:17:23when it comes to I treating people of
1:17:27different races like normal people
1:17:29treating people of different genders
1:17:30orientations etc as people when that was
1:17:35still when that still felt like a mostly
1:17:38digital thing like you're you're white
1:17:40or not white
1:17:41you're straight or not straight oh I
1:17:42assume i think that buying
1:17:44Mary yeah but then you start meeting
1:17:46people where you're like I'm not even
1:17:47sure why I hate you because you don't
1:17:49mean like Oh Bruce Bruce Jenner becomes
1:17:52a woman which he feels like he's always
1:17:54been pleased also a Republican whose
1:17:56anti-gay that is such a mind bomb for
1:17:59people of a certain age and I think they
1:18:01haven't recovered I think those going
1:18:03beyond those white sand box of getting
1:18:06beyond those apricots and peaches I
1:18:08think that is is the terraform that has
1:18:10cost a lot of changes it's so confusing
1:18:12now that you wouldn't know what racial
1:18:14epithet to call somebody right what are
1:18:16you gonna do what are you gonna yell at
1:18:18bruce jenner uh Caitlyn Jenner about the
1:18:20feeling generous I mean I i only heard
1:18:22this haven't read this but supposedly
1:18:23Caitlyn Jenner is it is a very
1:18:25conservative is very conservative
1:18:27politically it's actually uh not so into
1:18:29things like a marriage
1:18:31well what's 105 years ago that would
1:18:33make my brain pop out of my head cause
1:18:34that seems so weird that a trans person
1:18:35would be not so into gay marriage i I've
1:18:39been dealing with this for 20 years
1:18:42because or no 125 because I you know I
1:18:47lived in a mostly gay neighborhood and
1:18:49the man most of my friends a work day
1:18:51and always kind of liked the castro of
1:18:54the Seattle right that's right it's and
1:18:56you know in seattle in San Francisco had
1:18:58the largest populations of any US cities
1:19:00i think Seattle a distant second now but
1:19:03it's still America and you know my first
1:19:06job in seattle was working a gay bar so
1:19:08i was i was very much like in tune with
1:19:11the culture and right about that time
1:19:131992 the rise of the Log Cabin
1:19:16Republicans which none of us could parse
1:19:19right this is a whole group of of gay
1:19:24Republicans during an era when to be
1:19:27there self-identifying both as publicly
1:19:29game publicly Republican yeah there's
1:19:31probably always been people like I
1:19:33imagined for a variety of reasons Cary
1:19:34Grant was probably pretty conservative
1:19:36but there's other stuff he maybe didn't
1:19:38want you to know about I don't think
1:19:40anybody the war that suit in North by
1:19:41Northwest could be conservative
1:19:43no saying no is that right but you know
1:19:45the Log Cabin Republicans a take on it
1:19:48was we're just people and we have these
1:19:50uh these beliefs and the fact that were
1:19:52gay is irrelevant to these are separate
1:19:54totally separate thing yeah except the I
1:19:56think they're trying to do kinda like
1:19:57the opposite of identity politics almost
1:19:59yeah except that the Republicans were
1:20:01constantly and actively at war with a
1:20:03with gay people didn't matter if you
1:20:05were a law in a log cabin or not
1:20:07uh-huh so this was one of those things
1:20:09you know this is the jack Tanner and
1:20:12Clarence Thomas problem so my dad's best
1:20:16friend of course of Jack taner federal
1:20:19judge and black and activists liberal
1:20:24and when Clarence Thomas was up for when
1:20:31he was nominated for the Supreme Court
1:20:32my dad was my dad and Tanner who would
1:20:36go to chinese food restaurants and yell
1:20:37at each other about who did more during
1:20:39World War two
1:20:42they were yelling at each other Tanner
1:20:44drove a drove like a duck
1:20:48you know like ride the ducks uh-huh one
1:20:50of those it's not even a question it's
1:20:52not exactly a boat
1:20:53yeah he was he was a sergeant driver doc
1:20:56and he drove a duck but back when the
1:20:59duck was actually a landing craft and it
1:21:01was a duct full of soldiers and he was
1:21:02driving it on the Iwo Jima ok and then
1:21:05my dad of course was a pilot chute chute
1:21:08and zeros out should I leaders I'd armed
1:21:09guy with the side of out the window and
1:21:15they would sit in there in the chinese
1:21:16food restaurant by this point Tanner was
1:21:18was a federal judge emeritus or
1:21:22something he only had to take you only
1:21:23had to adjudicate the cases that he
1:21:25chose and so most of the time most of
1:21:28the day they said in this Chinese food
1:21:29restaurant yelling at each other and you
1:21:33know when my dad was yelling about
1:21:34Clarence Thomas and Tanner was keeping
1:21:36quiet with the terrible with a smug look
1:21:38on his face which is basically how they
1:21:40always were looking at each other smugly
1:21:42and tender said I support Clarence
1:21:45Thomas and my dad almost lost his mind
1:21:47because they had spent their entire
1:21:50lives together often together working
1:21:53for the cause of justice and racial
1:21:55equality and
1:21:56you know and liberal politics and
1:21:59Clarence Thomas was was the worst
1:22:03writing an enormous step back for all
1:22:05those things and Tanner was like nope
1:22:07the black guy on the Supreme Court I
1:22:09support him oh oh yeah okay dad
1:22:11different it's a different axis
1:22:13that's right two different access he's
1:22:14like it doesn't matter to me if he's an
1:22:16avowed not see it's important and he
1:22:20matters to me and he's a black guy on
1:22:21the Supreme Court done and my dad could
1:22:24never accept it he you know he would go
1:22:26this way and that way but of course it
1:22:28was a thing that my dad didn't even have
1:22:31even having been best friends with him a
1:22:33basically their whole adult life since
1:22:35that time they were 24 he couldn't get
1:22:39inside his head he couldn't understand
1:22:40what it was like to be a a black judge
1:22:43right tanner was a federal judge like it
1:22:46he this guy was his peer and his
1:22:51politics were secondary so Wow watching
1:22:55those to argue because you know i'm
1:22:57sitting there course in in combat boots
1:23:00with a soul patch going Jesus can we
1:23:03just order you know what do you--what
1:23:06are going to get you're gonna get Mushu
1:23:07pork in general tso's chicken like every
1:23:09time can we and the waiters standing
1:23:11there and they're like I'll tell you
1:23:13what I'm gonna do about her
1:23:15you didn't even you never even saw
1:23:18pistol
1:23:20yes i did David I fired my pistol many
1:23:24times we should record that I wish I had
1:23:28to you know
1:23:29oh my god Tanner told this story one
1:23:31time that blew my mind
1:23:34he was a lawyer and there was and and it
1:23:37was during the era of the radicalization
1:23:41of the of American Indians the american
1:23:45indian movement aim that was behind the
1:23:48the takeover of Alcatraz Alcatraz and
1:23:52the and the showdown at lolla it was
1:23:56that early seventies era when when that
1:23:59the tribes became radicalized and there
1:24:02was a and the chief of the Puyallup
1:24:05tribe
1:24:06in Washington right near tacoma was a
1:24:10man named sataya come and the tire come
1:24:13with a young charismatic activists chief
1:24:19who was who was radical but also
1:24:23personally radical and Tanner was his
1:24:26lawyer and they were always he was he
1:24:31was constantly in trouble you as you
1:24:33know he was like running guns and money
1:24:36and it was the Revolutionary era the you
1:24:40know the symbian ease army Liberation
1:24:45Army right okay the time when there were
1:24:46all kinds of groups coming along that
1:24:48were a very unconventional and
1:24:50asymmetrical and it was sometimes
1:24:52difficult to understand that come from
1:24:54the outside why the script was even
1:24:56together
1:24:56yeah and it was like well we're
1:24:57overthrowing the US government that's
1:24:59the end goal and where were allied with
1:25:01the IRA and the PLO but were you know
1:25:05but where the Puyallup tribe right
1:25:07anyway at some point that item was under
1:25:10indictment and the feds were coming for
1:25:14him and he showed up at tanners office
1:25:17with like three grocery bags full of
1:25:19money
1:25:19what and he said let's get out of here
1:25:22and he and Tanner flew to Bangkok with
1:25:27three grocery bags full of money and
1:25:29proceeded to spend a year like buying
1:25:34diamonds and emeralds and taking them to
1:25:38India and and it was it was it was like
1:25:42a tracking him trying to get set up for
1:25:44the long haul
1:25:45no just fucking being and just living
1:25:49Wow um and it was like a hunter s
1:25:52thompson seen Tanner was his lawyer they
1:25:55ended up they ended up at the rumble in
1:25:58the jungle right the the famous boxing
1:26:04match watching the big fight
1:26:05somehow you know somehow they were you
1:26:09know they were funneling they were
1:26:12running money through Paris and all
1:26:14these diamonds sewed into their
1:26:16waistcoats and and
1:26:19and they made it back to America and
1:26:21sataya come I don't know when to either
1:26:25went to prisoner went underground ended
1:26:27up in Canada and I this story just I was
1:26:32probably 24 and he he would this story
1:26:37this was this the story where my dad
1:26:39didn't interrupt him once we just SAT
1:26:41there and listened to this in my day we
1:26:43know my dad verified it it independently
1:26:47that you know that you associate this
1:26:49was an exaggerated or a tall tale who
1:26:51knows neither one I don't know if either
1:26:54one of those guys knew the difference
1:26:55but you know but the way Tanner cast the
1:26:59story sataya come was this legend like a
1:27:03folk hero a full Carol that's precisely
1:27:05it all the ladies loved him and all the
1:27:08men look up to him and he was he had a
1:27:10gun in his boot and a grocery bag full
1:27:13of money and they're in bangkok in 72 or
1:27:18what you know and at the rumble in the
1:27:20jungle with with the with George
1:27:24Plimpton it's just like what kind of
1:27:27lives have you like this you know and
1:27:29then five years later he gets appointed
1:27:32to the federal bench
1:27:33it just makes me I don't know it just
1:27:36makes me feel like well yeah but I mean
1:27:39also kinda doesn't also kind of feed
1:27:41into your hole like how come I never got
1:27:42to be well yeah why darlin i'm at South
1:27:44by Southwest that's the highlight of my
1:27:46year the highlight of 2400 sell the West
1:27:50yeah i saw spoon in a garage
1:27:55did Jack Tanner's you know in Vietnam
1:27:58throwing helicopters me maybe you should
1:28:02be kidding around more money and grocery
1:28:04bags
1:28:04well don't think that I am NOT trying
1:28:07how many times have I mentioned money
1:28:08and in grocery bags or duffel bag any
1:28:11nibbles on that have you gotten any not
1:28:13one is that is that right
1:28:14not a one and i think that's sickening
1:28:17well i think it is that a i think it is
1:28:20that the entrepreneurs are waiting
1:28:22they're waiting for their waiting for me
1:28:26to I don't know do the dog whistle right
1:28:29it's a dog whistle
1:28:30the dog was am
1:28:31and they're out there you know that
1:28:34they've got a company with 15 people and
1:28:36they've got a CTO SEO a CEO a CLO cqo
1:28:42cro cro w mhm and and then like two
1:28:48employees to engineers right and and
1:28:52their their their their board meetings
1:28:54and somebody says alright we've been you
1:28:56know we've been listening to rock on the
1:28:57line for a long time how are we going to
1:28:58hire Merlyn John yeah and make them CMO
1:29:01and see jail
1:29:02uh-huh and general an officer chief John
1:29:05that's right huh
1:29:07and uh and they're like not yet right
1:29:09like and I think it's one of these
1:29:11quests a question of like pre-ipo
1:29:13post-ipo interesting it's a pregnancy
1:29:16how the product development goes and
1:29:18then decide they want to get it will be
1:29:19the first ones to invest it will be the
1:29:20second ones to invest
1:29:22well yeah but if they if they bring us
1:29:23on pre-ipo and that gives give us like
1:29:26options on a million shares each how is
1:29:28that going to water down you don't
1:29:30you're gonna share dilution share
1:29:32dilution right as opposed to bring us on
1:29:34after the IPO and then we're just you
1:29:36know we're getting we're getting some
1:29:37compensation not you know not the
1:29:40preferred stock
1:29:41mhm so I don't I mean I can't I keep
1:29:44every morning I wake up I go downstairs
1:29:46I used to go downstairs open the door
1:29:47and there was the newspaper but the day
1:29:50after I lost the primary election from
1:29:52seattle city council I also unsubscribe
1:29:54to the fucking newspaper because the
1:29:56Seattle newspaper lawful and so I was
1:29:59the first thing i did I woke up that
1:30:00morning I called the new departments at
1:30:02cancel my subscription got your legal
1:30:04pad with the big checklist
1:30:06that's my subscription take down that
1:30:08website you know like never talk to
1:30:11these five people again
1:30:12yeah but so now every morning I go
1:30:15downstairs in my robe and instead of
1:30:18opening the door looking for my
1:30:19newspaper i open the door expecting
1:30:20there to be a filson bag full of money
1:30:22you've been you've been very clear about
1:30:24this but it just keeps not happening so
1:30:27i don't know i mean you know the thing
1:30:29is there's nobody more frugal than a
1:30:31rich person that's how you get rich so
1:30:34they want they want value for the dollar
1:30:35they're driving their 1978 Volvo and
1:30:39they're like what's where's the words
1:30:40value for the dollar
1:30:42also I think people may misunderstand
1:30:44let's be honest there's an element that
1:30:46to this of yes you actually do want
1:30:48somebody to give you a lot of money so
1:30:50you can be rich but there's a lot more
1:30:53to it than that I think there's
1:30:54something that is a very human part of
1:30:55the story to which you want what that
1:30:57represents for both you and the person
1:30:59getting it right is how KooKoo matata
1:31:02like then giving you this money is going
1:31:04to create a bigger gesture
1:31:06it's not just about the money although
1:31:07it's mostly about the money right
1:31:09koyaanisqatsi playing Scott see ya when
1:31:12it's Godsey hey empanada you i right of
1:31:17course I understand
1:31:18I mean I've been to san francisco right
1:31:20that's true I know how it feels to be in
1:31:24the eye of the storm
1:31:25oh boy right but you remember when you
1:31:29wouldn't go side south of market now
1:31:31what South of Market piles of money
1:31:33piles of money on top of piles of poop
1:31:35because they never wash down the
1:31:36sidewalks it would just sleep on the
1:31:38money because they can't afford a place
1:31:39to keep it on the money is exactly what
1:31:41is actually cheaper to sleep on money
1:31:42and get a house here
1:31:43ya can't afford a house just make an
1:31:46estimate slipping your money pot percent
1:31:48down to princeton down i canna Scott see
1:31:55all right