Roderick on the Line

Ep. 194: "Permanent Geranium Lake"

 

  [Music] [TS]

  hello I John I'm Merlin how's it going [TS]

  uh-huh yeah really good [TS]

  yeah very good crazy stuff oh yeah oh [TS]

  god really oh god it's all it's all such [TS]

  a struggle to find ya did you have a [TS]

  crazy morning [TS]

  oh I can get the kids out the door and [TS]

  tumble out of bed stumble the kitchen [TS]

  whoo wonder whatever happened to my life [TS]

  yeah did you did you go downstairs and [TS]

  drink a cup or did you wanna stretch [TS]

  yeah try to come to life this shit did [TS]

  you drink a cup of ambition that [TS]

  composition [TS]

  yeah just kind of just keeps going like [TS]

  this doesn't beyond stretch don't don't [TS]

  don't don't don't [TS]

  mm oh she's just a song that we know of [TS]

  as morning train which sounds a little [TS]

  dirty was oh [TS]

  originally I had never thought about [TS]

  that interpretation but you know morning [TS]

  train was really called 925 but they had [TS]

  to change it for the US release which [TS]

  also sounds dirty because dolly parton [TS]

  already had a hit with 95 right if you [TS]

  think about it almost everything sounds [TS]

  dirty [TS]

  yeah US release feel like I'm going to [TS]

  start using both europe US release and [TS]

  morning train just incorporate that into [TS]

  my room into my pillow talk [TS]

  that is funny isn't it this is this is [TS]

  how the brain works you know [TS]

  hey baby i'm i'm gonna have to change [TS]

  this for the US release [TS]

  mhm helping have a simultaneous [TS]

  worldwide release [TS]

  oh my goodness boy you're a couple of [TS]

  ambition got blue here a little bit blue [TS]

  you know you got a little blue last week [TS]

  that was fun [TS]

  do I get blue when you talk about some [TS]

  things [TS]

  yeah you know what yeah I don't know [TS]

  finally off the internet cafĂ© have the [TS]

  energy into it but i doubt you your [TS]

  interest in the man's knowing the man's [TS]

  parfum and then you followed him around [TS]

  a little bit yeah the part form for [TS]

  that's right that's right I did I did I [TS]

  talked about some talked about some sex [TS]

  sex things [TS]

  yeah sex feelings really i read i read i [TS]

  read a article on the internet this [TS]

  morning about an artist anal dildo [TS]

  company [TS]

  we'll make bespoke modern uh dude I sure [TS]

  you don't want to just be using an old [TS]

  dryer model well either an old model of [TS]

  its the things you don't want here's [TS]

  what here's what you don't want you do [TS]

  want an old building like a like one [TS]

  from the past also hold world [TS]

  craftsmanship yeah that's the kind of [TS]

  you know that kind of burled wood dildo [TS]

  of the 19th century which you don't want [TS]

  is one of these sort of you know [TS]

  mid-period dildos from the sixties [TS]

  seventies eighties maybe early six you [TS]

  mean like it like a japanese electronics [TS]

  feel valued by like a Woolworth yeah you [TS]

  know what that is one of those [TS]

  inexpensive nothing nothing i'm going to [TS]

  be ping pong but wakes you don't want [TS]

  some kind of mid-market like LeBaron of [TS]

  dildos [TS]

  I think for a long time most dildos were [TS]

  made out of the same material that super [TS]

  balls were made out of interesting right [TS]

  i think if you if you dropped one on the [TS]

  ground it would it would the first time [TS]

  it would bounce like six feet high and [TS]

  higher than you'd expect [TS]

  yeah it was that kind of marbled plastic [TS]

  red-white-and-blue sort of marbled [TS]

  plastic and that's not what you want now [TS]

  not not a normal contemporary guide [TS]

  wearing suspenders with the with a long [TS]

  beard and the sides of his head shaved [TS]

  is not going to use a superball dildo [TS]

  when he could use one that's made out of [TS]

  brass and steam gauges [TS]

  uh-huh right look at Jules Verne device [TS]

  exactly you want one that's gonna have [TS]

  probably some tiles [TS]

  hmm maybe it makes a pinging sound that [TS]

  when you started up it goes [TS]

  we are living here in Allentown all it [TS]

  takes a lot to get started [TS]

  22 yea right in the little below [TS]

  flywheel start spinning oh yeah you know [TS]

  I think if I were gonna have a steampunk [TS]

  dildo [TS]

  I think I would be looking for something [TS]

  that was looking at probably large [TS]

  machine [TS]

  yeah we're like like the size of like a [TS]

  box fan maybe bigger well and the drives [TS]

  a device that's actually kind of kind of [TS]

  tiny yeah that uses a a very heavily [TS]

  lacquered of [TS]

  boat or in some capacity [TS]

  it's got its got flywheels got gauges it [TS]

  makes a puff puff puff sound right it [TS]

  should sound a little bit like an [TS]

  old-timey generator or something [TS]

  yeah it's you know brass tubing all [TS]

  course you gotta have brass and and you [TS]

  got some some studs on it right there a [TS]

  lot of like like studs on things [TS]

  yeah but now it's starting to sound a [TS]

  little bit medieval starting to sound [TS]

  like something from the Torquemada would [TS]

  we just use the arm of a dead peasant [TS]

  huh [TS]

  the arm of a dead baby there's so many [TS]

  of them [TS]

  yeah but that's the way economics works [TS]

  right that use there's a need and then [TS]

  there's something changes in the [TS]

  marketplace maybe something involving [TS]

  Copernicus but you got a baby's arm and [TS]

  you know you might want to do some [TS]

  business with that [TS]

  well mrs. the thing once you start [TS]

  talking about business start talking [TS]

  about the history of entrepreneurship [TS]

  start talking about the history of [TS]

  entrepreneurship you're really you're [TS]

  talking about the history of humanity [TS]

  its history desire to better ourselves [TS]

  history of humanity is the history of [TS]

  entrepreneurs yes pushing the envelope [TS]

  through entrepreneurial entrepreneurship [TS]

  it sometimes they push the envelope [TS]

  out-of-the-box don't think why don't [TS]

  know you're I mean I don't want to open [TS]

  the kimono [TS]

  Oh too far to a deep dive on this one [TS]

  but entrepreneurs even right now as we [TS]

  speak our transformer they're [TS]

  terraforming the mental landscape that [TS]

  was a made-up word I thought you made up [TS]

  that word but then I learned that that's [TS]

  a real word terraforming yeah it's super [TS]

  because you talked about the guy upon [TS]

  the Genesis device and things I assume [TS]

  startrack things but I went read about [TS]

  it it's an interesting it'sit's been [TS]

  around inside for some time now [TS]

  oh yeah terraforming come on what are [TS]

  you going to call it when you arrive in [TS]

  a when you arrive in a distant sun-baked [TS]

  planet right or or multiple baked by [TS]

  multiple sons and basic the basic idea [TS]

  is or has been in the past it's mostly [TS]

  about in science fiction speculative [TS]

  fiction it's the idea of taking an [TS]

  existing planet or area that's currently [TS]

  not naturally inhabitable by humans and [TS]

  doing something that basically is reset [TS]

  and causes it to be something that would [TS]

  be an admirable by humans [TS]

  yes exactly now did you just say [TS]

  speculative fiction [TS]

  yes because because we've determined [TS]

  that science fiction is hurtful or [TS]

  because somebody within somebody within [TS]

  the science / speculative fiction realm [TS]

  has has indicated that one is is not [TS]

  equivalent to the other [TS]

  well now that you've opened that kimono [TS]

  have a feeling you're going to find out [TS]

  mmic so someone's gonna write me you're [TS]

  saying someone's gonna write me an email [TS]

  or tweet explaining the difference [TS]

  between tally explaining the difference [TS]

  but no nobody would ever do that we on [TS]

  I can't believe you respond to people [TS]

  about bits we went through that whole [TS]

  thing where it's like I know the answer [TS]

  i know the answer [TS]

  oh it's about this a couple three weeks [TS]

  ago that distinction between like [TS]

  science fiction and fantasy and I you [TS]

  know I'm an outsider on these things [TS]

  mostly I'm you know I like mainstream [TS]

  stuff i've read some stuff but I'm not [TS]

  like out i'm not i don't know lots of [TS]

  stuff about either science fiction or [TS]

  fantasy but um I guess what the [TS]

  speculative fiction when I first hear [TS]

  that i feel like i may be first heard [TS]

  that in my head I associate with kurt [TS]

  vonnegut well you know if it was just [TS]

  called speculum fiction than it would be [TS]

  Harlan Ellison is that right you look at [TS]

  the german thing [TS]

  mm-my I think you're absolutely right it [TS]

  probably Ellison's not a German name [TS]

  anyway [TS]

  no uh-uh go out go on I don't wanna be [TS]

  in my head like I guess I see I don't [TS]

  know an IRA please don't explain it to [TS]

  me people i don't really don't care but [TS]

  I know it matters to tell me but please [TS]

  don't know but I'll wanna the science [TS]

  fiction and science fiction is the idea [TS]

  of you know it's fiction it's a story [TS]

  that involves sciency things and with [TS]

  you anymore [TS]

  well the thing is speculative fiction to [TS]

  me I think that more of like this [TS]

  doesn't really rely on some kind of it's [TS]

  almost more like an alternative [TS]

  alternate excuse me [TS]

  Oh want to say is alternative people say [TS]

  alternate I think alternate means every [TS]

  other oh it was like an altimeter [TS]

  epicenter they're almost everybody uses [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  OIC or like a like a deep dive for open [TS]

  the kimono I think when you say [TS]

  alternate you say we're gonna meet on [TS]

  alternate weeks right and you would say [TS]

  or you the biopic are you say somebody [TS]

  was someone else's alternate right which [TS]

  is like a second right in a duel right i [TS]

  think you know alternative means a [TS]

  difference don't know I know what both [TS]

  of us have used and we'll get back to [TS]

  speculate efficient wireless one that [TS]

  both of us have used wrong even recently [TS]

  is uninterested vs disinterested and I [TS]

  think that is it is a difference between [TS]

  to bring back home mp3 if it doesn't [TS]

  appeal to you or holds no interest for [TS]

  you you are uninterested in that if [TS]

  you're somebody who doesn't have a stake [TS]

  in it as I like so you don't have a dog [TS]

  in the fight you're a disinterested [TS]

  party you know we always say don't have [TS]

  a dog in that race but I think it's [TS]

  because because the Iditarod well yeah [TS]

  here we raise dogs [TS]

  I don't know what you guys do you fight [TS]

  dogs I guess down there Florida in [TS]

  Florida there's lots of dog racing there [TS]

  is some very unusual bedding in florida [TS]

  i was about to use where paramutual [TS]

  except I don't really know what that [TS]

  means [TS]

  yeah at first I thought you said betting [TS]

  instead of betting dog bedding this is [TS]

  turning into kind of a bore his podcast [TS]

  display area last night I was watching I [TS]

  actually happen to be watching some [TS]

  videos of boys hunting that's different [TS]

  from or hey it's a different from aboard [TS]

  hey ora ora aboard or abortion or ar [TS]

  borji which is when the people who [TS]

  who run run an Italian the city-state [TS]

  have intercourse in groups right sure or [TS]

  not I would think that joke is funny [TS]

  yeah i think he is already laughing now [TS]

  the big George is the guy who had a [TS]

  puppet on his hand [TS]

  I would you know I would say that I've [TS]

  been to some beorgis what I'm saying I [TS]

  said against the wall [TS]

  yeah anyway I was watching afterwards [TS]

  you got to see the demented cheese for I [TS]

  got nothing [TS]

  the manager oh don't think they make [TS]

  artisanal pasta don't think the demand [TS]

  cheese [TS]

  yeah I think so yeah cooked to [TS]

  perfection that 10 to 12 minutes but i'm [TS]

  watching these videos of boys hunting [TS]

  huh which is your boys a Russian hunting [TS]

  dog [TS]

  well it's a bit so that my understanding [TS]

  is that the board's I was the dog was [TS]

  the exclusive dog of the Russian royal [TS]

  family so much so that after the Russian [TS]

  Revolution all the boys in Russia were [TS]

  killed because they symbolized the royal [TS]

  family [TS]

  oh my goodness oh my goodness thats [TS]

  that's complicated [TS]

  yeah and the only boys that survived [TS]

  were boys that had been given as gifts [TS]

  by the Russian royal family two royal [TS]

  families throughout Europe [TS]

  Wow as us as a token of their royal [TS]

  esteem so there were boys in England and [TS]

  presumably germany and but you can only [TS]

  find an expat bordesley yeah and then [TS]

  those boys were bred to survive the line [TS]

  and now they're our boarders of his back [TS]

  in Russia because you know of course [TS]

  there's a get all the Ark's oligarchs by [TS]

  one important way [TS]

  yeah there's a resurgence of Russian [TS]

  nationalism and the borzoi maybe has the [TS]

  symbolism of it has changed or maybe [TS]

  it's just that they want to return to [TS]

  the Czar's but watching seems it's their [TS]

  version of like small-batch whiskey [TS]

  it's like that's it is nice but it also [TS]

  liked it signifies things exactly it's [TS]

  like the contemporary fashion to wear [TS]

  powdered wigs [TS]

  ok that we have here where it's like you [TS]

  don't want people to stop wearing powder [TS]

  with you see a powder we can laugh and [TS]

  now today it's not unusual you'll see [TS]

  you go to coffee shops e45 people and [TS]

  powdered wigs sure I mean they're that [TS]

  the popularity of the musical Hamilton [TS]

  who has brought back this whole powdered [TS]

  wig scene and you know for a lot of the [TS]

  middle middle period of American history [TS]

  we we were not impressed by the by the [TS]

  founding fathers we wanted nothing to do [TS]

  with them they we consider ourselves [TS]

  contemporary modern people we want to [TS]

  make a break from that culture the last [TS]

  thing we want to do is where the ways of [TS]

  our fathers [TS]

  yeah we were wearing helmets we were [TS]

  wearing helmets and goggles caps some [TS]

  caps maybe get transistor radio [TS]

  you could have a Tamil Shanter Tamil [TS]

  Shanter write a a deerstalker uh-huh [TS]

  with a transistor radio uh but uh anyway [TS]

  these videos of boys hunting the boards [TS]

  are very fast dog faster when I was [TS]

  Gibson he was a well have we talked [TS]

  about this [TS]

  the passing of Gibson well no not the [TS]

  passing of Gibson but when Gibson [TS]

  arrived Gibson looked like a small [TS]

  borzoi but what Gibson was was a borzoi [TS]

  crossed with a whippet and a whip it is [TS]

  looks like a tiny borstal isn't a [TS]

  whippet kinda like like it's like a tiny [TS]

  ground [TS]

  uh well yeah but you know greyhounds and [TS]

  I mean they're all long-nosed running [TS]

  dogs okay and so what they did was they [TS]

  tried to get the long hair of a borzoi [TS]

  with the size of a whippet and what they [TS]

  achieved in gibson was he was a little [TS]

  bit too big to be in the family of this [TS]

  new breed they were trying to create and [TS]

  so he had kinda got bounced out of the [TS]

  breeding stock because you know they [TS]

  have to call the big ones and call the [TS]

  hairless ones and calls this is how it [TS]

  works is the process right call the ones [TS]

  that understanding wish colder ones that [TS]

  you know that can tap their hopes to do [TS]

  math so Gibson arrived on the scene and [TS]

  I said low new dog you are a small [TS]

  boards away and my mom said no the new [TS]

  breed is called the silks I can barely [TS]

  even say it [TS]

  ok [TS]

  the silken wind hound so silken wind out [TS]

  that sounds expensive because because [TS]

  when the borzoi has really long fur it [TS]

  takes on this kind of you know it looks [TS]

  like wings almost I mean it takes on [TS]

  this very silky cascading lion's mane [TS]

  and so sick silicon-silicon wind hound [TS]

  was the name of the breed that was that [TS]

  they were working toward and it was [TS]

  somewhere in the it was in the middle [TS]

  period of a breed where maybe hadn't [TS]

  been accepted all the way by the [TS]

  american kennel club but you know they [TS]

  were they were trying to trying to [TS]

  produce a line that would make this a [TS]

  real breed rather than just a crossbreed [TS]

  uh-huh [TS]

  but the problem was when I'm out in the [TS]

  world walking this dog and people come [TS]

  up and say what kind of dog is that I'm [TS]

  forced to make a choice now either eyes [TS]

  either i say out loud [TS]

  silken wind hound now you can explain [TS]

  now you got to explain or you say it's a [TS]

  half borzoi half with it or you say [TS]

  that's a small borzoi or something [TS]

  probably say but you probably get away [TS]

  with we talked about this before with [TS]

  career discussing your career you could [TS]

  probably get away with something like [TS]

  he's mostly borzoi oh that's a good one [TS]

  that's good that never occurred to me [TS]

  mostly borzoi yeah but the thing is I [TS]

  the problem with that is it sounds like [TS]

  you're borzoi got out and you know and [TS]

  had an affair with a with a mongrel and [TS]

  i will and i wanted to indicate that [TS]

  this was this was attempting at least to [TS]

  be a purebred dog [TS]

  oh yeah so essentially he's supposed to [TS]

  look like that it's this is this is what [TS]

  it's meant to be it's a little big [TS]

  it's very small compared to a borzoi but [TS]

  it's still you know [TS]

  three feet tall i mean the boards are [TS]

  huge right right right anyway as I was [TS]

  watching these videos i found a video [TS]

  which originally was a film of three [TS]

  boys killing a wolf in 1910 Wow in the [TS]

  snow [TS]

  oh you'd have a strategy right don't [TS]

  they have enough bread strategy of bread [TS]

  in strategy [TS]

  yeah one of them grabs one front leg one [TS]

  of them grabs one back leg flip them [TS]

  over and the third one goes for the neck [TS]

  Wow and this is how they hunt and they [TS]

  don't have to have a meeting or anything [TS]

  no I think they just know what they're [TS]

  doing and you're watching this thing and [TS]

  the you know it's a wolf so it's not [TS]

  going down easily and it was much I [TS]

  always imagined that it was like whip [TS]

  whip pop and then that bite on the neck [TS]

  and then it's over [TS]

  right like a very surgical process but [TS]

  like a like a like a cat on the Savannah [TS]

  like you would be some kind of like boom [TS]

  you're done [TS]

  Boop you're done right it is uglier than [TS]

  that well it was intense because you [TS]

  know the boards are big but the wolf [TS]

  outweighs them and showed her one grabs [TS]

  the front the one grabs the back but [TS]

  when they're as they're flipping the [TS]

  wolf the wolf is also spinning and [TS]

  contorting trying to get away and so [TS]

  it's really like three dogs on a wolf [TS]

  and they are trying to enact their plan [TS]

  and and the wolf is against it and it's [TS]

  it's really a free-for-all [TS]

  well um and what was crazy about this is [TS]

  i watch this video for about I don't [TS]

  know that five minutes before i realized [TS]

  that it was actually a loop [TS]

  Oh of a fight that in the loop is [TS]

  probably only 15 seconds long [TS]

  it's like a it's like a early 20th [TS]

  century dog vine [TS]

  yeah that's right it's a dog barn except [TS]

  it doesn't have that weird jittery thing [TS]

  in that binds do we're kind of you know [TS]

  it's meant to loop but that sort of [TS]

  starts oh no you're not not not not [TS]

  trying way too hard to be funny [TS]

  yeah and also there's no entrepreneurial [TS]

  aspect to it where somebody I wasn't I [TS]

  wasn't going to say anything somebody up [TS]

  the chain of vine is hoping to do an IPO [TS]

  and um and and make 40 million dollars [TS]

  and get out [TS]

  mhm this is when you'd make a wolf loop [TS]

  just out of love for the water medium [TS]

  because you use a passion project a lot [TS]

  of entrepreneurs you watching TV show [TS]

  that involves entrepreneurs that's [TS]

  always a frequent criticism is like [TS]

  first oh yeah this is this is not [TS]

  accompany this is a product and it's [TS]

  barely even a product [TS]

  yeah there's action was your passion you [TS]

  you want to have something that can [TS]

  scare you into 10x growth for your fine [TS]

  that's right i'm not going to invest my [TS]

  one dollar in this right unless I can [TS]

  see it scale but you can see what it [TS]

  what it ultimately was with somebody out [TS]

  in a snowy field hand cranking a film [TS]

  camera and the entire reel of film was [TS]

  probably just 15 seconds we're going [TS]

  right and so they caught this like [TS]

  incredible moment of these three dogs [TS]

  attacking a wolf and it you know i i've [TS]

  owned these dogs with him up with my mom [TS]

  my whole life and I've never seen one [TS]

  I didn't realize this is I thought [TS]

  Gibson was a was a was a one-off but [TS]

  he's part of a long line of large dogs [TS]

  you can so when I was born my mom was [TS]

  breeding boys [TS]

  Wow and again the boards are as tall as [TS]

  if you take a guitar case and lean it [TS]

  against a wall that's how tall boys I [TS]

  mean they're they're huge huge mhm maybe [TS]

  they're not that tall but they're very [TS]

  tall and we had them all over the house [TS]

  when I was little and then sadly at one [TS]

  point when i was still crawling [TS]

  I was at my mom's feet she was in the [TS]

  kitchen [TS]

  it was the sixties and so two things [TS]

  were true one the kitchen floor was shag [TS]

  carpet and such an interesting design [TS]

  decision which no one has done before [TS]

  sense right i think that shag carpet in [TS]

  the kitchen was precisely from november [TS]

  of 1967 to join us in 1969 then you [TS]

  would never have done it before that or [TS]

  sense Nixon doesn't get the credit he [TS]

  deserves but you know what that's [TS]

  exactly true he was creating a world in [TS]

  which it was safe to have shag carpet in [TS]

  your kitchen [TS]

  yeah and [TS]

  sure the show and also only Nixon could [TS]

  decide to remove shag carpeting from [TS]

  your kitchen you know unison the thing [TS]

  is a democratic president could couldn't [TS]

  have removed shag carpet from the [TS]

  kitchen right it took write a Republican [TS]

  to send Kissinger to take the carpet out [TS]

  also EPA right right [TS]

  sure there was a catalytic converter [TS]

  issues and is your bike coming in this [TS]

  story come get nervous I have to move i [TS]

  have to imagine that the carpet was [TS]

  either avocado mhm burnt umber mm I'll [TS]

  harvest maybe harvest at harvest was a [TS]

  harvest the other popular avocado with [TS]

  everything we owned was always avocado [TS]

  harvest was that sickening throw up [TS]

  colored yellow I think right harvest [TS]

  sure harvest sunshine or desert to find [TS]

  out desert bloom and then there was [TS]

  always that brown color that was just [TS]

  sort of what you call it you two [TS]

  chocolate donut [TS]

  oh yeah I had a I had a pic group it was [TS]

  that color you know anyway I'm sitting [TS]

  in my mom I'm at my mom's feet and her [TS]

  prized board does the the mother who had [TS]

  had produced you know the 25 puppies [TS]

  that had what she was doing her part two [TS]

  to keep this breed alive and when she [TS]

  said when she got to Washington there [TS]

  were no bores anywhere and she actually [TS]

  produce 25 puppies that ended up being [TS]

  the the dogs that created the the west [TS]

  coast [TS]

  borzoi population that's how it works [TS]

  yeah oh my gosh that's very [TS]

  entrepreneurial of her that was she [TS]

  knows she know that's the the trail that [TS]

  she was blazing which made those dogs [TS]

  have intercourse there she was aware [TS]

  that she was and I think for most of the [TS]

  seventies she followed the the line and [TS]

  saw the family tree of all these dogs [TS]

  that then you know I don't think you [TS]

  find a borzoi in the northwest didn't at [TS]

  one point end up in in this shag carpet [TS]

  kitchen in our house but so I'm sitting [TS]

  there and then all of a sudden I start [TS]

  crying she looks down and manouschka the [TS]

  the old lady who had been my my friend [TS]

  and companion [TS]

  had bitten me 17 times in the face but [TS]

  here's you kidding me [TS]

  here's my eyelid all like John this is [TS]

  awful [TS]

  almost took my nose off and it happened [TS]

  in a in a flash like she bit me 17 times [TS]

  like digit just pop ow and they had you [TS]

  know they found like 17 individual bite [TS]

  marks all on my face and my mom was like [TS]

  you know little bits of your face were [TS]

  hanging off it was it was unclear [TS]

  whether you would be scarred for life [TS]

  oh my god John so gruesome well you must [TS]

  have been so scared [TS]

  well I was just a child I don't remember [TS]

  it seems I'm sure left a lasting impact [TS]

  on me that's why I don't trust women you [TS]

  know and it's why i did bad in school [TS]

  experience is probably explains a lot [TS]

  explains a lot right it's always nothing [TS]

  that could explain every time you've [TS]

  tried to bite me what have I done [TS]

  yeah if you get pretty upset exactly [TS]

  yeah so my mom of course had two and [TS]

  minus school was hurt before i was born [TS]

  in schools are child and so she's got a [TS]

  Sophie's Choice situation well she had [TS]

  to put shared apartment get down [TS]

  I think you did the right thing well [TS]

  sure I mean you know you you turned out [TS]

  alright but then she became an [TS]

  evangelist of this whole thing that [TS]

  obviously you and I agree on also which [TS]

  is that really no dog is safe around a [TS]

  baby don't ever make the mistake of [TS]

  putting your child next to a Rottweiler [TS]

  no matter how much you feel like the [TS]

  Rottweilers a nice dog no matter no [TS]

  matter how strong stats are I mean even [TS]

  if your ticket taking 99.999% dog that [TS]

  doesn't kill a kid it only takes really [TS]

  that little bit [TS]

  that's right now they don't get extra [TS]

  credit for being mostly nice yeah the [TS]

  dog is amazing he's always been a great [TS]

  friend never done anything like this [TS]

  before and he only killed your kid one [TS]

  is all around for years and only [TS]

  happened that one time and only happened [TS]

  one time where I ripped my kids throw it [TS]

  out so we did not have boards for many [TS]

  years because that was traumatic for us [TS]

  both i may not i don't know if you've [TS]

  ever been a mother [TS]

  but when you see your kids face after [TS]

  it's been 17 times by your prize dog [TS]

  I think you do say perhaps i will wait [TS]

  that's a complicated feeling and also [TS]

  just you know being a parent I mean the [TS]

  first thing that comes to mind [TS]

  obviously you can't see your kids [TS]

  suffering but also just that feeling of [TS]

  like oh I'm a terrible person right how [TS]

  did this happen how would have I done [TS]

  how how did I let this happen and I [TS]

  thought you know she thought like we [TS]

  were both right there i was touching her [TS]

  pants you know like how much safer could [TS]

  she be and Mariska was trained to the [TS]

  degree that but you know my mom could [TS]

  make a hand signal from half a mile away [TS]

  and the dog would go left or right like [TS]

  she was voice trained and and signal [TS]

  trained like perfectly anyway so we [TS]

  didn't have borders for a long time and [TS]

  then we try to reintroduce boys into our [TS]

  lives but like a lot of highly bred dogs [TS]

  boys have a couple of problems one the [TS]

  inevitable sort of haunches problem but [TS]

  all dogs have no may take a drink and [TS]

  some people listen just hear you say [TS]

  launches on too much haunches problem [TS]

  hunches it has a heart problem bunches [TS]

  problem [TS]

  he's one of my favorite comedians Ron [TS]

  hunches homicide them like the great [TS]

  historical figure hunters pilot that's [TS]

  right and a but one of their other [TS]

  problems is that they tend to be or some [TS]

  of them are very skittish that was that [TS]

  was my and see now this again this is [TS]

  that kind of old thinking that you and I [TS]

  worry about trying to be a contemporary [TS]

  person but I feel like in my headcanon [TS]

  in in in Florida you get a lot of [TS]

  adopted greyhounds because they just [TS]

  throw him out after a while you know the [TS]

  ground have not historically been [TS]

  treated well they get to a certain point [TS]

  and then you adopt a greyhound and then [TS]

  all the grounds I've been around [TS]

  including friends of mine who adopted [TS]

  them you know you know we were just down [TS]

  the street from a dog track right and [TS]

  you could you could adopt grand but I [TS]

  just remember them being like skittish [TS]

  whoo skittish very very very onion on [TS]

  and unhappy very printer naturally [TS]

  nervous animals nervous I mean they've [TS]

  been chasing an electric rabbit [TS]

  their whole lives and I presumably being [TS]

  kept in the surplus cages that they use [TS]

  for meals or worse than feels like that [TS]

  maybe maybe got them from tysons chicken [TS]

  and their chicken cages and so these [TS]

  dogs are not what I had grand quality of [TS]

  life probably not high on the list not [TS]

  high right and I think before people [TS]

  adopted them they just became dog food [TS]

  at the end [TS]

  yeah oh gosh right into the Soylent [TS]

  Green Machine which is why there's so [TS]

  much encephalitis and dogs is that right [TS]

  well yeah Mad Dog disease you've heard [TS]

  of this house that actually that [TS]

  explains a lot too [TS]

  yeah but bored what's their animals you [TS]

  know other animals right so why are we [TS]

  even talking about him and I don't know [TS]

  but boys come out sometimes even if [TS]

  you've treated them well even if you fed [TS]

  them food that you made out of raw [TS]

  materials even if you feed them out of [TS]

  your hand like you're trying to entice a [TS]

  dough out of the forest this of the [TS]

  first boards are we got after the [TS]

  interregnum was this board that even [TS]

  though it was four feet tall at the [TS]

  shoulder it you know it if you if you [TS]

  close the book to hard to start with [TS]

  leap six feet in the air and lands you [TS]

  know try and hide under the couch Paul [TS]

  communication that's so awful [TS]

  yeah terrible part of a dog called a [TS]

  Belgian tavern isn't a Belgian to burn [TS]

  like a something you keep gravy and it's [TS]

  yeah I mean we would call it a gravy [TS]

  boat not knowing that there is actually [TS]

  a term of art sure Belgian traverse you [TS]

  having the Belgian tavern not the boat [TS]

  the tavern know that return tervuren [TS]

  turn I live with a fella a limited was [TS]

  really really poor after college like [TS]

  everybody and so I should we shared this [TS]

  what would you call it I mean it was [TS]

  barely even it was less it was less than [TS]

  in law it was basically a room in a [TS]

  bathroom and it was really really really [TS]

  small and we slept across two photons in [TS]

  undermining bathroom and so we would [TS]

  sleep in there and my friend so is the [TS]

  three of us too tall guys me and one [TS]

  guy's Belgian tavern [TS]

  and yes yeah so so yeah yeah basically [TS]

  in like what probably 250 square feet on [TS]

  my god and it was very narrow it was it [TS]

  was you know an in-law ish think it was [TS]

  somebody had taken a room that shouldn't [TS]

  really be a place where people live and [TS]

  made it into a room and we paid i think [TS]

  two hundred dollars a month for the [TS]

  three of us to live there [TS]

  mh3u plus the dog but the dog plus uh [TS]

  forget the dog's name but it was so [TS]

  narrow basically was like little little [TS]

  hallway with a place you could sleep and [TS]

  this poor dog [TS]

  it's not it's it's so awful he to adopt [TS]

  this it been like basically its entire [TS]

  life for years had been being in a cage [TS]

  and beaten [TS]

  that's it beaten cage cage beaten like [TS]

  that was this dog's life and it was [TS]

  hopelessly wrecked emotionally just [TS]

  scotch dog it was terrible this poor dog [TS]

  but like anything that happened in the [TS]

  house [TS]

  anything that happens in this poor dog [TS]

  it would it wanted to run away but it [TS]

  was the the hallway was too narrow for [TS]

  him to turn around so it would run [TS]

  backwards through the haha and yeah I [TS]

  don't know I you don't usually see a dog [TS]

  moving backwards unless something has [TS]

  gone horribly horribly wrong you see a [TS]

  dog go backwards for a second right [TS]

  we'll take a step or two but to watch a [TS]

  day a giant giant shepherd dog run [TS]

  backwards to her house is such a [TS]

  chilling image because they're looking [TS]

  over their shoulder right there kind of [TS]

  looking over this way looking over that [TS]

  way [TS]

  backing up he did enough that I think [TS]

  you got a pretty good feel for the [TS]

  hallway [TS]

  huh but it was i'm not i'm not only i'm [TS]

  laughing because I haven't thought about [TS]

  this in years but like that the image of [TS]

  that poor dog running backwards down the [TS]

  hallway was just it was so awful [TS]

  yeah I feel for those dogs that's a [TS]

  terrible thing and so but so after the [TS]

  interregnum yeah you guys so so back [TS]

  into the boards way business got into [TS]

  borzoi business we had this dog that you [TS]

  know that left up on the top of [TS]

  furniture like a mountain goat whenever [TS]

  you stirred your tea with a spoon fall [TS]

  and it was determined that this dog was [TS]

  too too nervous to live in the city [TS]

  right it was it was not it was not [TS]

  enjoyable to own this dog because the [TS]

  dog had no affection for humans of any [TS]

  kind [TS]

  and I mean what could you do with the [TS]

  dog I i had a very interesting [TS]

  experience with it i was walking the dog [TS]

  one day and was kind of walking in the [TS]

  forest and I came because we always [TS]

  voice train our dogs so that we try to [TS]

  walk home without leashes so that the [TS]

  you know it just knows to stay at your [TS]

  knee and we're walking through the [TS]

  forest where it's going to be you know [TS]

  it's easy to kind of keep the keep the [TS]

  situation under control we're all alone [TS]

  out here in the forest and we pop out of [TS]

  the woods and we're on a busy street and [TS]

  we were in the process of training this [TS]

  dog and it was not fully trained and we [TS]

  got to the street and it jumped into the [TS]

  street and it was a it was a four-lane [TS]

  road and there was a bus hurdling down [TS]

  the road and this dog just jumped right [TS]

  in front of the bus [TS]

  oh no it was it jumped into the road and [TS]

  the bus was going 60 miles an hour and [TS]

  it was seven feet from the dog and I [TS]

  went ah and I you know and I could see [TS]

  the bus driver who was also like ah and [TS]

  in the time between the bus driver [TS]

  seeing the dog but before he could slam [TS]

  his foot on the brake the dog saw the [TS]

  bus and accelerate from 0 to 60 miles an [TS]

  hour in less than a second just anything [TS]

  is it didn't it didn't keep moving [TS]

  perpendicular to the bus it turned and [TS]

  went in the direction the bus was [TS]

  traveling and accelerated away from the [TS]

  from the bus that was going 45 miles an [TS]

  hour [TS]

  like it's just took off and accelerated [TS]

  away [TS]

  I've never seen anything like it in my [TS]

  life it was the most stupendous feet of [TS]

  of animal athleticism and it was when I [TS]

  uh knows when I finally understood what [TS]

  a wonder what these dogs could do course [TS]

  it took me an hour and have to find the [TS]

  dog who [TS]

  but anyway so that dog we did not we [TS]

  I think sent back to the breeder [TS]

  perhaps to live the rest of his life on [TS]

  a farm not sure then we got a second dog [TS]

  who just a baby baby puppy at this dog [TS]

  was a lover a wonderful wonderful dog [TS]

  who had some as it grew up some awful [TS]

  hip dysplasia your own is never able to [TS]

  walk like it sort of you know its back [TS]

  legs were like an injured rabbit it was [TS]

  like he'd been hit by a car but they [TS]

  just grew up that way and we nursed this [TS]

  dog for a long time and it's just what [TS]

  it wanted to please it was the happiest [TS]

  most wonderful dog but as you know about [TS]

  my mom she's fairly unsentimental and [TS]

  that dog went back to the breeder [TS]

  perhaps to live on a farm [TS]

  uh-huh and then there was a long period [TS]

  where there were no boys again because [TS]

  we had at least figured out that the the [TS]

  Alaska Lauren was to get the Alaska line [TS]

  represented too much inbreeding perhaps [TS]

  from the puppies that my mom it's had [TS]

  ceded all this is like a fucking story [TS]

  isn't complicated back into the back in [TS]

  the sixties because we're not hosted bar [TS]

  Byron guitar that's right where the [TS]

  where the boards of Alaska coming from [TS]

  if not Seattle quickly and then so we [TS]

  went away when a long time and then [TS]

  there then we got into the silken wind [TS]

  sound era where and Gibson was the first [TS]

  and then barley barley came along and [TS]

  barley was the silken barley was a [TS]

  beautiful second wind pound let's be [TS]

  honest and we had barley for several [TS]

  years [TS]

  barley and Gibson several years they [TS]

  lived together in harmony but barley had [TS]

  probably had chronic diarrhea not here [TS]

  that I don't think that's my kind of [TS]

  that will not stand with your mom I'm [TS]

  guessing you know and i know i know that [TS]

  a lot of people try to listen to this [TS]

  program when they're eating breakfast [TS]

  lunch or dinner [TS]

  yeah and it's only a matter of time [TS]

  before we say something that will turn [TS]

  you off your food chronic means it [TS]

  happens a lot it's hard to stop [TS]

  that's right and so much just a little [TS]

  puddle call [TS]

  look what barley made oh look here it is [TS]

  it's never like it's more like you just [TS]

  live in a constant state of like well [TS]

  when's the next time I'll have to clean [TS]

  this up [TS]

  yeah and it made the bed made the [TS]

  backyard fairly uninhabitable and also [TS]

  it is taking place mostly outside [TS]

  oh yeah for the most part but it was I [TS]

  think it was self-perpetuating right if [TS]

  you whatever is causing the diarrhea if [TS]

  you're pooping in the yard and then as [TS]

  barley would do just like just lounging [TS]

  on top of these a coupon that's in the [TS]

  biome now it's everywhere it's like [TS]

  that's why you gotta wash your hands [TS]

  that's exactly right don't generally [TS]

  wash their hands so he never got better [TS]

  over the course of four or five years [TS]

  and as you know as a regular series of [TS]

  this program will know my mom is fairly [TS]

  unsentimental and barley was a lovely [TS]

  guy and dare I say it a member of our [TS]

  family and then one day barley was gone [TS]

  and we were like what my mom said well I [TS]

  just you know dog was never well [TS]

  whoa and so it went back to the breeder [TS]

  she's she's she's a tough lady stuff [TS]

  lady back to the breeder now with [TS]

  there's a lot of words you used to live [TS]

  on a farm and back to the breeder aah [TS]

  RRR these euphemisms live on a farm is a [TS]

  euphemism that's I i learned that's a [TS]

  euphemism ya back to the breeder is not [TS]

  my mom will even after 45 years of [TS]

  owning a purebred dog [TS]

  we'll take it back to the breeder or [TS]

  they just something we keep the receipt [TS]

  sir how's that work now the Breeders all [TS]

  know who the dogs were when she's [TS]

  probably kind of famous like you'd want [TS]

  you want to take you want to take her [TS]

  out with pound what's called ya whip at [TS]

  home no beautiful scissors the silken [TS]

  windows so can win town'd yeah and my [TS]

  mom was just like basically she would go [TS]

  back to the breaker and say you have [TS]

  sold me a defective dog right and i have [TS]

  no way of knowing what their negotiation [TS]

  is like or what the Breeders responses [TS]

  but you know a lot of these breeders are [TS]

  running puppy mills are all yeah 1030 [TS]

  good ones are probably like Nordstrom [TS]

  where they'll take stuff back even if it [TS]

  wasn't theirs if you listen we're not [TS]

  still encouraged here this is going to [TS]

  be this is a good ass dog and [TS]

  dogs dogs papers and it's the papers i [TS]

  think that that keep the dog from going [TS]

  to live on a farm [TS]

  the papers are like a dog receipt but [TS]

  but also it's a sort of like a baby book [TS]

  yeah and i think the breeder wants to [TS]

  wants to know wants to maintain the her [TS]

  knowledge of the line of the bloodline [TS]

  that's right so she wants to keep track [TS]

  of all the of all the dogs and if if if [TS]

  dog is defective [TS]

  uh-huh she will rescue you know that'll [TS]

  change that will change the way you make [TS]

  them have intercourse right exactly i [TS]

  think i don't know MA barley was not [TS]

  effective except for this pooping and [TS]

  also barley was a smaller dog Gibson but [TS]

  he believed he was a bigger dog he was [TS]

  always dominating Gibson and socially in [TS]

  my mom's house of course as you know [TS]

  there's only one top dog [TS]

  mhm she gets up early and behind barley [TS]

  always eat when he was on a walk he [TS]

  always inched his nose one centimeter in [TS]

  front of my mom's me maybe a bad idea [TS]

  bad idea bad idea about barley was [TS]

  irrepressible and could never [TS]

  it's not that he didn't understand all [TS]

  he understood he understood he just [TS]

  wasn't gonna get with the program and so [TS]

  she's kept as long as she did [TS]

  well that's the thing but you know I [TS]

  tried to get with the program one [TS]

  well I think my right kind of my nose [TS]

  doesn't go in front of her knee no way I [TS]

  don't want her to [TS]

  I don't want to tap me on the back of [TS]

  the neck and go back at it's interesting [TS]

  though that [TS]

  Shh sure mom is so interesting um [TS]

  there's something to this dog thing [TS]

  though cause she kept at it's a lot of [TS]

  people i mean a lot of people like you [TS]

  know normal people you get a dog and [TS]

  they are inexperienced with dogs could [TS]

  be any kind of pet it could be an AI [TS]

  maybe a big screen TV but you get [TS]

  something in your life you don't really [TS]

  understand what's happening with it [TS]

  something goes bad enough and it's not [TS]

  even a question [TS]

  you are now out of that business right [TS]

  so for example like a lot of people you [TS]

  know you get you get a dog the dog bite [TS]

  somebody [TS]

  not only is that dog gonna live on a [TS]

  farm but you don't wait call we're done [TS]

  with dogs we are never have [TS]

  doing that again i'm just i'm interested [TS]

  that your mom seems to have some kind of [TS]

  stake in this and with this particular [TS]

  bloodline this particular breed ish area [TS]

  of the boys are like dogs with now is as [TS]

  gifts in the end of the line for her and [TS]

  she hasn't got another one how she know [TS]

  so at the at the at the last right my [TS]

  mom this is the thing [TS]

  Gibson was a constant companion for my [TS]

  mom for 13 years spent I mean they were [TS]

  never apart and they were in this [TS]

  strange marriage where the kind of [TS]

  didn't really like each other maybe I [TS]

  mean they tolerated each other [TS]

  Gibson adored her worshipped her but she [TS]

  never quite did what he wanted all [TS]

  Gibson wanted was to was to sleep on the [TS]

  couch and eat spaghetti [TS]

  yeah and my mom never let you like to [TS]

  see like walks to write and he loved [TS]

  walks so they would go on walks and they [TS]

  loved that activity together but she [TS]

  never let him eat spaghetti and she [TS]

  never let him get on the couch [TS]

  why not uh because he because it's her [TS]

  couch personal that's true and you don't [TS]

  want dog here on the couch and you don't [TS]

  want the dog to think that it belongs on [TS]

  the causes that couch in the back the [TS]

  back window [TS]

  that's right and you don't feed the dog [TS]

  spaghetti because you're not a dingaling [TS]

  right dogs a cat a cat that loves to [TS]

  getty that's what's even weirder [TS]

  oh yeah well and the cat we've got now I [TS]

  hate me i had made some late-night [TS]

  macaroni and cheese few weeks ago I sat [TS]

  down for a second I I turned back to the [TS]

  TV and sit in the dark matter [TS]

  well I've never seen this cat devour [TS]

  food like the one time i put macaroni on [TS]

  the floor she went bananas now my [TS]

  understanding and I may be wrong but it [TS]

  is that cats are pure carnivores and [TS]

  they don't want to eat anything that [TS]

  isn't that isn't meat [TS]

  I don't know my cats have like any kind [TS]

  of vegetable portion of their diet we [TS]

  should have John syracuse about this [TS]

  might be an adaptation or evolution call [TS]

  me that they might have evolved you [TS]

  might have evolved well-liked even since [TS]

  we got the cash you might have evolved a [TS]

  little bit you never know we should ask [TS]

  about that but now i don't know i can't [TS]

  explain why they would want pasta maybe [TS]

  it's the snow [TS]

  I you know these are salty pastas might [TS]

  not be the pasta it might be as with [TS]

  humans it's you know possible to be [TS]

  honest it's a convenience for butter and [TS]

  salt like so many things in life [TS]

  well and also let me I'm sorry to the [TS]

  people who have persisted in trying to [TS]

  eat their lunch or dinner [TS]

  yeah but this is always been a feeling [TS]

  of mine [TS]

  what does pasta most resembled from the [TS]

  natural world worms or uh is any trails [TS]

  Oh cuts it looks like guts and that's [TS]

  why would definitely put differently you [TS]

  watches on be showing you see some guts [TS]

  you think wow that that looks a lot like [TS]

  lasagna [TS]

  yeah that's right and so the reason I [TS]

  think that we love pasta is that it [TS]

  reminds us in our primitive mind of [TS]

  eating the best part of a kill [TS]

  uh-huh which is the entrails so we sit [TS]

  down to a big plate of spaghetti with [TS]

  meat sauce and a little longer controls [TS]

  carnivores I bet entrails are a comfort [TS]

  food em trails are the best because [TS]

  they're also full of the of grains and [TS]

  other nutritious all I see your point [TS]

  because it's like a double meal you get [TS]

  like you get you get a meal inside them [TS]

  you know you get like a little prize you [TS]

  get you whatever they ate their [TS]

  basically and that never occurred to me [TS]

  John that's brilliant not to go too deep [TS]

  into this [TS]

  well what are sausages are sausages are [TS]

  like to build a purpose in trail they're [TS]

  stuffed and they're basically literally [TS]

  they're literally intestines stuff with [TS]

  other parts of the animal it's pretty [TS]

  it's pretty it's pretty grotesque if you [TS]

  really think about which is our natural [TS]

  thing you kill you kill the thing and [TS]

  everybody jumps around you rip it open [TS]

  and the first thing there is basically a [TS]

  pile of sausages I enjoy sausage right [TS]

  examine their sausages filled with [TS]

  whatever the Antelope was most recently [TS]

  eating so I think that a cat might think [TS]

  when it encounters macaroni and cheese [TS]

  that here are some delicious entrails of [TS]

  something and I are cats colorblind [TS]

  I'm sorry color color sight-impaired I [TS]

  think I believe John siracusa yeah a [TS]

  kooza gusta a barracuda attic with my [TS]

  might know better weather cats have [TS]

  evolved to be colorblind [TS]

  ok no it's an annotation that's right in [TS]

  order to better see prey in the night I [TS]

  like those like those goggles this is [TS]

  seal team six where's SEAL Team six [TS]

  copies if you're in SEAL Team six you're [TS]

  basically simulating being a cat that's [TS]

  right you put on those goggles and [TS]

  suddenly you can see everything better [TS]

  you're simulating being a being a cat in [TS]

  a in a world that has been terraformed [TS]

  under green Sun mmm morning a green moon [TS]

  let's call it a green green moon shots [TS]

  it's reflecting the light off the green [TS]

  sign [TS]

  yeah yeah okay all right the baby sun [TS]

  hits the green moon you get double green [TS]

  now that's why any cackles cackles [TS]

  cackles or or it is a I'm sorry not a [TS]

  science fiction universe about a [TS]

  speculative fiction universe where the [TS]

  moon on this planet is actually made of [TS]

  green cheese [TS]

  oh boy so the Sun could be any color the [TS]

  light is reflecting off the green cheese [TS]

  and as you know because we're receiving [TS]

  the greenlight it means that actually [TS]

  every other color was being reflected in [TS]

  the green was the one that wasn't being [TS]

  is that because of refraction John it [TS]

  well it's sort of like a performer is a [TS]

  form of refraction it's like a prism but [TS]

  it's like it's like a prism except it's [TS]

  an innocent project innocence project [TS]

  for light it's an innocence project for [TS]

  light to using DNA to find just the [TS]

  green light exactly [TS]

  okay that makes sense i'm glad that we [TS]

  had that I'm glad we worked through this [TS]

  ourselves that we're helping a lot of [TS]

  people today but you can imagine now [TS]

  imagine being in SEAL Team six [TS]

  uh-huh okay and get a mission that's [TS]

  right you've got a mission but maybe the [TS]

  US Navy is training these guys because [TS]

  they're aware of a planet that has these [TS]

  conditions and seal team guys are [TS]

  actually astronauts astronauts in [TS]

  training and they're not even aware of [TS]

  it [TS]

  oh that would make a really good [TS]

  speculative fiction novel right folks [TS]

  see that's so smart it says again but [TS]

  it's like ender's game right we can't [TS]

  really tell you spoiler we can't really [TS]

  tell you what you're training for and [TS]

  you may actually be doing the mission [TS]

  check it out when you're training for [TS]

  your through training you think that you [TS]

  are in somalia in the middle of the [TS]

  night to kill a warlord thank you for [TS]

  your surface but really who foes are [TS]

  part of a secret one world government [TS]

  that's under the North Pole and they [TS]

  come from a planet that's why they have [TS]

  big big almond-shaped eyes they come [TS]

  from a planet where the moon is made of [TS]

  green cheese right right and this group [TS]

  of highly trained soldiers is actually [TS]

  the first astronaut corps to return to [TS]

  the info home planet [TS]

  ok I got it and here's the thing we call [TS]

  a terraforming which is very earth [TS]

  centric that you might be very deforming [TS]

  so they're going to find a way to make [TS]

  our planet green because that's how they [TS]

  roll like greener not a fake ring like [TS]

  we've got like a real green like a green [TS]

  cheese maybe they're going to do that [TS]

  maybe they're going to terraform the [TS]

  moon to turn it from the Luna for me [TS]

  Luna form which is a great kind of a man [TS]

  in a uniform [TS]

  that's right it's a it's a sports bra [TS]

  but from what front lifts and separates [TS]

  thank you [TS]

  I don't you know want to reveal the [TS]

  money machine counterfeit money machine [TS]

  thank you and he was polite [TS]

  how many times have we watched the I [TS]

  don't know what I've never been happier [TS]

  than sitting around in our underwear [TS]

  watching that you know in the holidays [TS]

  the salad days we haven't even [TS]

  discovered the mighty boosh all that's a [TS]

  hell of a show [TS]

  captain Kevin script in cabinets I'm I'm [TS]

  starting I'm never steal team dxtory is [TS]

  starting to worry me [TS]

  ok also what everybody come back to [TS]

  create lists because i think i may have [TS]

  discovered some of the greatest pages on [TS]

  wikipedia and they're about Crayola [TS]

  colors that please continue [TS]

  no no I that you have you have just [TS]

  dropped some major you have dropped a [TS]

  major diarrhea of science right [TS]

  chronically Kyle the chronic i wanna [TS]

  whenever somebody says i have found the [TS]

  best part of wikipedia you have my [TS]

  undivided attention because I spend more [TS]

  time on wikipedia then I do with my own [TS]

  family [TS]

  that's as it should be i mean you got [TS]

  more learning from Wikipedia Oh have you [TS]

  ever donated to wikipedia when they do [TS]

  those fundraising things I know this is [TS]

  going to be embarrassing and we [TS]

  shouldn't know I give my new things but [TS]

  haven't given my need them and the [TS]

  reason is really terrible [TS]

  I i hate those ads they make me they [TS]

  make me angry and it's terrible because [TS]

  i use it maybe the site that i use more [TS]

  than any other full stop [TS]

  so should I should do that I i use my [TS]

  money the following way I let the market [TS]

  decide when an entrepreneur comes up [TS]

  with an idea who i will i will let i [TS]

  will my money is like well it's the [TS]

  market right and so wikipedia has not [TS]

  successfully entrepreneurs you two into [TS]

  that oil out of my money right they [TS]

  entrepreneur you right out of your money [TS]

  wikipedia hasn't it's like NPR I just [TS]

  turn it off when it asks me for think we [TS]

  have a funny story there are mutual [TS]

  friends got Simpson he he gives money [TS]

  all kinds of stuff like hell just setup [TS]

  setup easy time was that he would just [TS]

  sit up and I drinking and just every [TS]

  night he just donate more money to fix [TS]

  kids palette in Iraq like you are very [TS]

  generous guy you can do that for a very [TS]

  small amount of money you can fix the [TS]

  kids palette [TS]

  yeah it's a really nice project and I [TS]

  get things like that but he inserted a [TS]

  thought technology for me that I have [TS]

  trouble on thinking now which is you [TS]

  know this is boring but but you know p [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  PPS if the kind of things that they run [TS]

  as they're like Marky programs they put [TS]

  it this way early nineteen nineties when [TS]

  I would when I was very into getting [TS]

  very giving very into public meetings [TS]

  very into public radio very into public [TS]

  TV you know they would show during [TS]

  during the fun drives they would show [TS]

  something they didn't usually show which [TS]

  was a marathon of things like Fawlty [TS]

  Towers oh yeah that's what got me into [TS]

  fawlty towers and I remember actually i [TS]

  was recording since this is so dorky but [TS]

  I remember recording fawlty towers and [TS]

  the marathon was on and I called to [TS]

  donate and I had a VHS for years of my [TS]

  name running across the street screaming [TS]

  I don't really need to be a big deal to [TS]

  be on TV [TS]

  ya did it was it like that Bank of old [TS]

  people answering phones and then you one [TS]

  of them was talking to you now oh yeah I [TS]

  did that I mean I did that was not even [TS]

  see me don't know I was at home but but [TS]

  it was still very much the day where you [TS]

  have usually same things that you have a [TS]

  man and a woman sitting there not [TS]

  they pre-taped them and they buy them in [TS]

  packages so little better will be things [TS]

  like us whatever Suze Orman is the [TS]

  leopard skin moneylady there's her you [TS]

  get things like the brain training stuff [TS]

  all this brain training stuff or you [TS]

  could do up there is always a lot of doo [TS]

  wop sure and I don't know but even like [TS]

  kqed kqe these main kqd has the largest [TS]

  listenership for a given public radio [TS]

  station in the United States really yeah [TS]

  it's really quite large but it was WGN [TS]

  in Boston [TS]

  ah I don't think so WBEZ Boston so21 of [TS]

  you or I their day to resume good [TS]

  uh anyway but you know the trouble is we [TS]

  need those brain training things which I [TS]

  have to say have off for a long time [TS]

  seemed kinda like BS it's one thing to [TS]

  say oh grandma does sodoku and she seems [TS]

  a little smarter and when that are going [TS]

  to say BS or PBS ppl peanut butter [TS]

  canned shit anyway i'm looking at the [TS]

  page essentially this links if you ok no [TS]

  it's all right sorry sorry i sent you a [TS]

  link to the list of crayola crayon [TS]

  colors [TS]

  oh this is this something where the [TS]

  flesh turns into a flasher [TS]

  oh yeah there's stuff my bad you didn't [TS]

  wash and you got the waters what I saw [TS]

  one time I remember like an engineering [TS]

  diagram of the changes over the years [TS]

  and this one's more textual it's this is [TS]

  so beautiful and amazing [TS]

  oh I didn't know anything about this [TS]

  marilyn is a color called macaroni and [TS]

  cheese introducing any number three [TS]

  look at this robin's egg blue you know I [TS]

  think what you just did was you just you [TS]

  just foreshadowed my next collection all [TS]

  it's a great look at that look at that [TS]

  image huh [TS]

  when you let me have some of those in [TS]

  your house can you imagine what that [TS]

  would be like to imagine [TS]

  uh-huh let's imagine look around look at [TS]

  these typefaces to permanent geranium [TS]

  lake 234 my song [TS]

  he's off supply got a big weights look [TS]

  like permanent geranium lake is some [TS]

  some natural feature on the on the [TS]

  uniform [TS]

  what's been uniformed yeah sure it's [TS]

  raining in like maybe like you I took [TS]

  you off that first we'll have to say I [TS]

  think if you're gonna you're gonna be a [TS]

  new pho it's a good idea if you have the [TS]

  technology [TS]

  GN assume you do to build your base [TS]

  under the North Pole who's going to [TS]

  check who's gonna check there [TS]

  that's right they don't even dust that [TS]

  like you don't know I mean having people [TS]

  at the North Pole right now [TS]

  mm I counting a counting the guys from [TS]

  Top Gear accounting Jeremy Clarkson [TS]

  administration three humans [TS]

  I'm so I would love it if we just stayed [TS]

  there three human sense 700,000 UFOs [TS]

  under the under the ice cap Alexa how [TS]

  many people are at the North Pole right [TS]

  now nothing [TS]

  oh well that baffled alexa try again [TS]

  I'll try with i'll try with Siri how [TS]

  many people are at the North Pole right [TS]

  now huh i'm gonna say 12 Siri is it [TS]

  raining [TS]

  uh-oh there's a place called North Pole [TS]

  Alaska and that has a population of 2178 [TS]

  now I've been to North Pole ask that [TS]

  seems that's that seems that's that's [TS]

  some shot in gaming John no no the [TS]

  reason that North Pole Alaska is named [TS]

  what is named is who sends letters to [TS]

  the north pole 0 children [TS]

  that's right and if children send their [TS]

  children charities right if children [TS]

  sends a letter to the North Pole words [TS]

  ago sea ice and they just throw away [TS]

  right except they don't they send them [TS]

  to the North Pole Alaska you think they [TS]

  still do that [TS]

  sure their kids all around i mean think [TS]

  about all the kids that all the kitchen [TS]

  children if children writes a letter it [TS]

  goes through the postal system and [TS]

  somehow that gets conveyed to North Pole [TS]

  Alaska that's right that's tremendous [TS]

  that's right if you know do they know [TS]

  it's Christmas in Africa yes they do [TS]

  they know they just don't care because [TS]

  they don't really observe it there they [TS]

  know now because of Bob Geldof right and [TS]

  what it was a free service [TS]

  it's right in the song send your letters [TS]

  to our North Pole Alaska I think it so I [TS]

  think it was sung by willie nelson you [TS]

  let and your leadership in like manner [TS]

  shape that's right let it let it in one [TS]

  of these colors one of these Crayola [TS]

  colors i think i'm not even i'm not even [TS]

  out of the Reds dark Venetian red yeah [TS]

  how do they know how do they know what [TS]

  dark Venetian red looks like i guess in [TS]

  some ways they get to be the armature [TS]

  look at somebody made a distinction of [TS]

  thistle vs orchid macaroni and cheese [TS]

  and looks very much like the color that [TS]

  we used to call flesh that's right yes [TS]

  it doesn't look like macaroni and cheese [TS]

  though it looks like macaroni and cheese [TS]

  that somebody put some ketchup in one of [TS]

  these from hang on 1903 all they could [TS]

  name the shit out of some colors in 1903 [TS]

  dood van Dyke Brown as scary as i got to [TS]

  make some Van Dyke Brown you got burnt [TS]

  or raw umber yeah inchworm inchworm [TS]

  mountain meadow flash tent there it is [TS]

  flesh flash flesh for fantasy permanent [TS]

  magenta / but hey there's a permanent [TS]

  geranium lake [TS]

  look at that hold on right in them okay [TS]

  see now I'm starting to get suspicious [TS]

  we're looking through the yellows then [TS]

  we come down to the Greens then we come [TS]

  down to the blues and right in the [TS]

  middle between turquoise blue and [TS]

  sky-blue there is a color which is the [TS]

  darkest black blue in the world [TS]

  completely out of place [TS]

  uh-huh this color wheel and it's called [TS]

  outer space [TS]

  what you find that what you're not an [TS]

  outer SE 1998 to present differently [TS]

  after after we became after the UFOs [TS]

  revealed themselves i don't think i've [TS]

  ever seen that color before outer space [TS]

  I'm not sure I mean really fully [TS]

  experiencing that color because I look [TS]

  at it as I stare at it it's kind of [TS]

  black it's kind of blew its kind of [TS]

  green right and it was not belong [TS]

  between turquoise blue sky blue it [TS]

  belongs down by midnight blue it belongs [TS]

  but between midnight blue and navy blue [TS]

  why is it where it is if if not if not [TS]

  as a as an indicator as a trigger [TS]

  maybe uh huh to remind us how I see if [TS]

  1998 let's get a little shot of what [TS]

  outer space looks like it's getting [TS]

  talking about this let's get him talking [TS]

  about it we've got we've got the first [TS]

  astronaut corps in training [TS]

  eventually we're gonna do the reveal and [TS]

  when who's going to do the reveal this [TS]

  is why this is why the Republican [TS]

  Congress won't consider a new Supreme [TS]

  Court doesn't want to meet with them [TS]

  they won't even meet with them because [TS]

  they know that work [TS]

  I mean close to reveal day revealed is [TS]

  coming revealed days come almost every [TS]

  one of these names not everyone but many [TS]

  of these names introduced in the [TS]

  nineties especially the middle late [TS]

  nineties the that many of them do sound [TS]

  like something from urban dictionary up [TS]

  their color called neo-maxi zoom dweeby [TS]

  I don't think so but she can get you got [TS]

  mango tango which sounds like a sammy [TS]

  hagar record and for Mango Tango guitar [TS]

  can shoot the balls off of a bowl from I [TS]

  don't know where that come from but that [TS]

  should do calm now [TS]

  banana mania right all of these sound [TS]

  like drinks at a Jimmy Buffett ah well [TS]

  blue yonder that totally sell these do [TS]

  purple mountains majesty [TS]

  yep yep I just feel like I'm at feel [TS]

  like I'm at cabana and Key West can get [TS]

  you can I kind of cool get your fresh [TS]

  raspberry jam haha how the razzmatazz we [TS]

  try to razzmatazz [TS]

  oh you know it's good i'm still deciding [TS]

  between the mobile lists and the picture [TS]

  but in the fuzzy wuzzy these also matrix [TS]

  deserts and now that doesn't drink [TS]

  timberwolf antique brass antique brass [TS]

  antique brass they so there is a [TS]

  razzmatazz razzmatazz present at [TS]

  razzmatazz razzmatazz present at [TS]

  this is a what's called a hot-pink what [TS]

  we call that yeah it's a hot pink but [TS]

  look up there jazz berry jam is really i [TS]

  mean are these drag queen names [TS]

  ladies and gentlemen give a nice warm [TS]

  welcome to eggplant has berry jam or [TS]

  yeah or are they are they drink names [TS]

  and then here we get down below the [TS]

  Pink's first of all eggplant doesn't [TS]

  belong under jazz berry jam either you [TS]

  should edit this you should have this [TS]

  page we get down below carmine and blush [TS]

  and tickle me pink who know right yeah I [TS]

  see a big get pink pink pink pink blush [TS]

  right tickle me pink mobilis sherbert [TS]

  this is sure but how do you say it [TS]

  well it should be sure but but that is a [TS]

  sherbert they haven't listed as sherbert [TS]

  oh listen to this triple a sweet name [TS]

  for a dog if sherbet or sherbert [TS]

  sherbert all sherbert with you get Nancy [TS]

  Chandler sherbert that would be a great [TS]

  name for a son [TS]

  haha those are bird is my boy sherbert [TS]

  and people be like uh-huh uh-huh that's [TS]

  if you look at if you look at pink [TS]

  sherbert you look over in the metadata [TS]

  and it was formerly known as brink pink [TS]

  drink pink you think thats that's [TS]

  considered insensitive to the pink [TS]

  community or something [TS]

  uh oh it was formerly known as bring [TS]

  pink between 1998 in 2005 so sometime in [TS]

  2005 somebody a crayola was like bring [TS]

  Pink's not working let's call it pink [TS]

  sherbert fuzzy-wuzzy used to be called [TS]

  fuzzy-wuzzy brown which sounds like a [TS]

  question [TS]

  fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy wuzzy who [TS]

  about that then we get down into this [TS]

  bottom part of the color wheel where all [TS]

  these colors just don't belong to we [TS]

  don't belong it seems like sometimes [TS]

  when you get into the browns and grays [TS]

  people get confused about how to [TS]

  continue [TS]

  well I do this is what you want manatee [TS]

  manatee is a kind of blue gray put it [TS]

  out put it right off the key west right [TS]

  with the recipes for their very they're [TS]

  gentle giants I feel like own we're not [TS]

  even down to razzle-dazzle rose and [TS]

  blizzard blue well but so I arranged my [TS]

  shirts by color did you know this if you [TS]

  like i didn't i didn't go without [TS]

  respect to collar type or french cuff [TS]

  you know you totally by telling you like [TS]

  those hipsters with the books [TS]

  oh yeah except i hate that when I walk [TS]

  into somebody's house in their [TS]

  bookshelves are arranged by color I want [TS]

  to kick them that's it have you seen the [TS]

  new thing where people went backwards to [TS]

  start with the page is facing out what [TS]

  was the point of that it's it's really [TS]

  telling to me that's telling that they [TS]

  bought their books by the pound [TS]

  yeah basically you could buy books by [TS]

  the foot like ESO books by the foot you [TS]

  could buy them and you you're certainly [TS]

  not going to read them they're mainly [TS]

  just things to fill up your bookcase [TS]

  full of books to fill up the Billy [TS]

  because you know Jonathan Coulton family [TS]

  arranged their books by color at one [TS]

  point and I challenge him on it was like [TS]

  you better explain this or I'm gonna [TS]

  kick you right in the knee and he said I [TS]

  can find any book on that shelf [TS]

  huh and so I had him turn around and i [TS]

  named a couple of books and he turned [TS]

  and went right to him [TS]

  we're being insensitive I don't know I [TS]

  bet you there i bet you we have [TS]

  listeners that are looking at they're [TS]

  color-coordinated bookshelf right now [TS]

  and wondering whether they made a [TS]

  mistake or whether that's really [TS]

  something that they're gonna stick by [TS]

  it's a little cute but I arrange my [TS]

  shirts by color and I had a conversation [TS]

  with somebody the other day when I was [TS]

  like do you do you imagine that I should [TS]

  put my short sleeve shirts in with the [TS]

  long sleeve shirts because the short [TS]

  sleeve shirts belong there [TS]

  according to the color wheel principle [TS]

  even though they're totally different [TS]

  kind of shirt this person advise me yes [TS]

  they thought that the shirts a lot of [TS]

  short sleeves belong mixed in with the [TS]

  long sleeves in order to have them [TS]

  arranged by color and I did it and then [TS]

  I hated it and I took all the short [TS]

  sleeve shirts out and arrange them by [TS]

  color on a separate track I I think [TS]

  there's something to be learned from how [TS]

  libraries were run for a long time which [TS]

  is that the books are put onto the [TS]

  shelves in a very specific order that [TS]

  never wavers and if you want some [TS]

  flexibility and how you find stuff you [TS]

  use the card catalog so you can go to [TS]

  subject you go to offer you could get [TS]

  CSC also or something like that i don't [TS]

  think that should be happening [TS]

  tactically at the at the book level now [TS]

  at the shirt level for most people i'd [TS]

  say they can get away with that in your [TS]

  case you have a fair amount of shirts [TS]

  right [TS]

  sadly i have i have a ridiculous amount [TS]

  of shirts and this is it's beyond fair [TS]

  amount it's beyond unfair amount it's [TS]

  beyond unfair amount m2 redonkulous it's [TS]

  even past ridiculous it's all the way to [TS]

  redonkulous which I'll notice is one of [TS]

  these chrome Crayola colors redonkulous [TS]

  and also would be a great name for a kid [TS]

  on suites resort surely be pretty name [TS]

  for a girl [TS]

  cerulli and corn flour so really it [TS]

  would be a great name for a girl that [TS]

  you were sending to to live under the [TS]

  North Pole as a kind of emissary that's [TS]

  a good writer like you don't have a last [TS]

  name she's just called cerulean truly [TS]

  and she walks up and down the halls in a [TS]

  pencil skirt carrying eight some kind of [TS]

  like armload of got here got a hair in a [TS]

  bun in the oven or some kind of some [TS]

  kind of what was that what was that a [TS]

  movie with the bruce willis where the [TS]

  girl had orange chair all little dallas [TS]

  multipass mono yeah it's a it's a [TS]

  fulfillment of fifth element in dallas [TS]

  multipass yeah so it's a kind of Fifth [TS]

  Element scene where cerulli and the has [TS]

  like crazy hair [TS]

  uh-huh she's carrying arms not blue hair [TS]

  it's absolutely too on the nose yeah you [TS]

  might have [TS]

  she might have a maximum red purple or [TS]

  mulberry or thistle hair yeah it's well [TS]

  it's lesbian here let's be honest the [TS]

  people the best hair in the world is [TS]

  lesbian hair I want to get my haircut [TS]

  wherever the lesbians go exactly the [TS]

  astonishing is astonishing how good [TS]

  LESBIAN terrorist it is always the best [TS]

  hair even the lesbians have thicker hair [TS]

  John it seems to me like a lot of [TS]

  lessons have a nice thick head like you [TS]

  know you and I we both suffer from this [TS]

  problem we have we have a dense amount [TS]

  of hair but we have skinny hairs densely [TS]

  packed i think even the skinhead [TS]

  lesbians have better haircuts that we do [TS]

  that's just it doesn't it's I've never [TS]

  done it doesn't seem fair because God [TS]

  God love and they've been through a lot [TS]

  they deserve the good hair but could you [TS]

  share a little love at this point I mean [TS]

  you know it's 2016 kind of get a decent [TS]

  haircut [TS]

  well just make a book where it is [TS]

  explained just just make some kind of [TS]

  book where you explain what you're doing [TS]

  why it is that you have the better even [TS]

  asking for a phone number I'm saying I'm [TS]

  saying just gave me an idea how to even [TS]

  approach this that's right give me an [TS]

  idea just share your wisdom [TS]

  it's not it isn't like thrifting it's [TS]

  not where you go somewhere and it didn't [TS]

  work out your fine I'm out of the game [TS]

  for two months if I don't make the right [TS]

  decision I'm certainly not gonna have [TS]

  like 80 laying here [TS]

  well this is the thing about was being [TS]

  here it is good across the spectrum [TS]

  right it's not okay i see bad lesbian [TS]

  haircuts much anymore so this is what [TS]

  I'm saying even though even that the [TS]

  typical like Butch like flattop they get [TS]

  a better flattop and I can get a better [TS]

  flattop it's denser hair i don't i don't [TS]

  think it's about the hair i think it's [TS]

  about the science or speculation you [TS]

  think they're working for the UFOs you [TS]

  think they might be working with [TS]

  cerulean I think that cerulean [TS]

  definitely has a lesbian haircut she saw [TS]

  regardless of sexual preference because [TS]

  she's orientation gender let's set those [TS]

  things aside she has you go you go [TS]

  that's got a goddamn lesbian haircut and [TS]

  God love her because she's got info [TS]

  technology right she wins she has she [TS]

  met him she might have taught them how [TS]

  to haridwar know about that but it's [TS]

  been i think i think was being here has [TS]

  been you're gonna go right past [TS]

  terraform oh I didn't even hear hear [TS]

  form a cerulean harrogate those static [TS]

  she's got a clipboard [TS]

  no not a clipboard I think she's got an [TS]

  arm full of Kindles i just got I see [TS]

  she's got like nine Kindles and she's [TS]

  cradling them like a like a bunch of [TS]

  baby ducks who when she's walking down a [TS]

  hall on ice hall under the ocean and in [TS]

  a pencil skirt in a pencil skirt and [TS]

  it's just like something out of out of a [TS]

  a will ferrell movie or whatever whoever [TS]

  the will is that has that the bad kids [TS]

  that everybody hates sure you got the [TS]

  guy that's the guy from men in black the [TS]

  fresh prince many african-american so [TS]

  he's walking a woman he's walking along [TS]

  a whole and there's a bunch of photos of [TS]

  different kinds with guy that looks like [TS]

  a rhinoceros the banned from the city & [TS]

  cantina see now right right the [TS]

  Hammerhead guy and she's just a human [TS]

  with killer hair carrying an armload of [TS]

  Kindles that is not a hurry at all [TS]

  though a furry [TS]

  no but she had a Chippewa Fox tickler [TS]

  she made and she's not a furry but she [TS]

  may have a rabbit tail butt plug it in [TS]

  because that's what they do now right [TS]

  that's just what they do you think [TS]

  that's for me that's that's not for you [TS]

  that's for me this is this is this is [TS]

  for me i'm gonna i can do my work [TS]

  I'm not here to be judged i got an [TS]

  excellent haircut and I got it I got a [TS]

  butt plug is me and yeah that's right my [TS]

  cut a little hole in the back of my [TS]

  pencil skirt so that my grabber tailback [TS]

  clicks and stick out but i'm not a furry [TS]

  em I'm just doing this for me [TS]

  yeah yeah this does I'm not part of some [TS]

  subculture this isn't like a yellow [TS]

  handkerchief in my right bat back pocket [TS]

  or yellow handkerchief in your butt [TS]

  anyway so when i'm organizing my shirts [TS]

  i always get down here just like on this [TS]

  curio love color wheel [TS]

  yeah I get down to the to the to the [TS]

  backside and I don't know where to put [TS]

  the Greens you know what I mean I have [TS]

  trouble processing greens because I get [TS]

  a little confused about the different [TS]

  greens because here they put yellow they [TS]

  put they started red and then they put [TS]

  then they go to orange yellow green [TS]

  right that's the that's the roy g biv [TS]

  Rajat Bhatia but I start with white [TS]

  because where does that mean you have a [TS]

  lot of white shirts if you have as many [TS]

  shirts as me and where do you fit the [TS]

  whites i think in the alphabetic colors [TS]

  you start with white and then with them [TS]

  with black you start with white but you [TS]

  can't immediately go from white to red [TS]

  you have to go from white girl like that [TS]

  I'm feeling extremely old fashioned [TS]

  right now because I feel like there's [TS]

  almost exactly one kind of thing that [TS]

  should be organized by color and that [TS]

  would be convinces like crayons that are [TS]

  used for imbuing color onto other things [TS]

  organizing those things by color makes a [TS]

  lot of sense organizing most other [TS]

  things that is just not the way my brain [TS]

  works well I I feel based on utility [TS]

  like the way i would organize a kitchen [TS]

  which is mostly not much at all but like [TS]

  I always put the color in this one area [TS]

  at the high-frequency non knives go in [TS]

  this drawer the lower frequency non nice [TS]

  going this other drawer and if anything [TS]

  changes that system it's very [TS]

  off-putting to me so non knife is like a [TS]

  spatula or a spoon that has holes in it [TS]

  right get a slotted spoon won't have the [TS]

  the temperature thing you got the [TS]

  silicon bans any of the things that you [TS]

  need and that is all the various cooking [TS]

  app [TS]

  rats but I would never think about [TS]

  organizing those I mean even even stuff [TS]

  that's the princes the problem this is [TS]

  like one of those design kinds of things [TS]

  is like something that looks well [TS]

  organized is not necessarily going to be [TS]

  a useful thing [TS]

  oh no wait a minute go on well you know [TS]

  there's these trends that people go [TS]

  through the whole knowing things like [TS]

  I'm gonna lay things out in this grid [TS]

  and it's gonna be more like I understand [TS]

  that you know if that makes you happy [TS]

  like that to me is like a bug like God [TS]

  love you have fun with that [TS]

  that's um Adam Savage stuff he said he's [TS]

  an older is an older you have seen him [TS]

  know you know what Adam Savage does he [TS]

  make stuff [TS]

  yeah that's true he makes stuff just an [TS]

  old we watch out we watched show where [TS]

  he made a cannon out of a water heater [TS]

  yesterday who hasn't made a cannon out [TS]

  of a water you I thought about it but [TS]

  what kind of what kind of cannon ball do [TS]

  you shoot out of a water heater [TS]

  I don't know we skipped over the dark [TS]

  knight after that it feels it feels to [TS]

  me like what you're doing when you make [TS]

  a canada of a water heater is you are [TS]

  shooting piglets [TS]

  oh ok right I I suppose you're sending [TS]

  the pictures you've seen the pictures of [TS]

  the guy that goes out and Noel's parking [TS]

  lots right where he moves the cars [TS]

  around until they're all in the right [TS]

  spot I think you know that stuff does [TS]

  not tickle my brain the tickle the way [TS]

  it was a lot of other people's brains [TS]

  what about people that talk like this on [TS]

  the internet and apps like little mouth [TS]

  sounds always talk about smacking oh [TS]

  yeah it does that tickle your friends I [TS]

  a.s.a ski ask you to [TS]

  it's like asking yard ask you what's [TS]

  interesting is in the section called [TS]

  multicultural section 2.5 of the list of [TS]

  crayola crayon colors section called [TS]

  multicultural i think is interesting for [TS]

  several reasons because well let's take [TS]

  his red let's say what we haven't been [TS]

  saying which is that for our youth for [TS]

  our crayon our prime crayon using years [TS]

  I suspect you and i both had one crayon [TS]

  in anything over probably starting at [TS]

  the 16 but definitely 48 certainly in [TS]

  the 64 your crayon if memory serves was [TS]

  called flash installed flesh and the [TS]

  thing is it was the was the flesh color [TS]

  of somebody you really wouldn't like it [TS]

  was like somebody from like North [TS]

  Georgia it was if you like a peach [TS]

  oh yeah and then at a certain point was [TS]

  determined I think very intelligently [TS]

  that the hey you know that's that's [TS]

  that's a little bit [TS]

  that's a little bit let me that's the [TS]

  sort of normative there are a lot of [TS]

  there are a lot of other kinds of flesh [TS]

  I only I may be misusing the word [TS]

  normative because i have used it [TS]

  incorrectly on purpose for so long I [TS]

  know it's hard to go back so it 1992 [TS]

  trailer released a set of eight [TS]

  multicultural crayons and italics which [TS]

  quote come in an assortment of skin [TS]

  heals I'd like to try that come in that [TS]

  you get haha well [TS]

  oh wait a minute wait a minute what's [TS]

  that called like the common varieties [TS]

  didn't use boy I'm open [TS]

  oh boy the fox tail on oh boy eight [TS]

  colors used came from their standard [TS]

  list of colors and the sellers for the [TS]

  most part well received in there has [TS]

  been some criticism footnote 14 now what [TS]

  this thing is these are overtly these [TS]

  are called multicultural out of it said [TS]

  on the box [TS]

  this is for coloring people who aren't [TS]

  white or are Caucasian right so here's [TS]

  what the colors are called apricot black [TS]

  like black is pound sign 0000 that is [TS]

  true black in internet terms you got [TS]

  burnt sienna you got mahogany which is a [TS]

  kind of a reddish you got peach CPI tan [TS]

  and then full on white is that kind of [TS]

  interesting but they didn't call them [TS]

  they didn't call them like a Palestinian [TS]

  or right ethiopian yellow cree or or [TS]

  what you're saying it's interesting that [TS]

  they still gave it these colors even [TS]

  though this is the multicultural [TS]

  addition that was kind of interesting [TS]

  well i feel 1992 is a pretty fraught [TS]

  year in political correctness Voyager [TS]

  was I was right in the center of you [TS]

  know I was in college still because i [TS]

  was in college from 1987 to 2007 team so [TS]

  clip it's anybody's gonna go fill out a [TS]

  form you're done in 92 uh I was doing [TS]

  those were though that's [TS]

  third-generation feminism we were really [TS]

  going at each other than I remember the [TS]

  first time I ever heard that phrase was [TS]

  an interview with your Instagram buddy [TS]

  Michael Stipe on MTV and for it [TS]

  it was around that time as I think maybe [TS]

  in the late eighties but he was the [TS]

  first person I ever heard use the phrase [TS]

  politically correct Michael Michael [TS]

  Stipe yeah I mean I've heard since then [TS]

  lots of times but he's the first person [TS]

  I ever heard that I remember ever using [TS]

  that phrase it goes in and out [TS]

  in another fashion and is using any kind [TS]

  of a meta way we're saying yeah well [TS]

  that's kind of thing that we would say [TS]

  today is not really politically correct [TS]

  right Xena matter how about you know I'm [TS]

  on my I'm disinterested and uninterested [TS]

  in this but I first met you and now to [TS]

  love em huh [TS]

  so I think what I think the reason that [TS]

  you have to call these colors apricot [TS]

  and mahogany is that even within various [TS]

  cultures ethnic groups there's a lot of [TS]

  variation in skin tone so if you were to [TS]

  say ethiopian there's going to be a lot [TS]

  of people in Ethiopia that doesn't look [TS]

  like like our friend grant is [TS]

  african-american [TS]

  yeah that's right from Africa means he's [TS]

  a he's one of the whitest people I've [TS]

  ever met [TS]

  he's uh comes from German aristocracy [TS]

  and he's from Africa [TS]

  yeah or like John boyega the the [TS]

  wonderful actor from Star Wars he's [TS]

  kinda sick of people calling [TS]

  african-american he's like well no I'm [TS]

  from England haha quit doing that well [TS]

  our John accuses Joseph yousa well I [TS]

  know Italian in these are totally [TS]

  Italian guy but they didn't speak [TS]

  Italian his household was i right [TS]

  they didn't speak Italian because there [TS]

  were there because it was that immigrant [TS]

  thing where the grandmother wanted their [TS]

  kids to assimilate I i think that we [TS]

  talked about this on different program i [TS]

  can give you one thought on race and [TS]

  cultural oh boy I thought on race and [TS]

  culture and I was thinking about uh fair [TS]

  amount of the last few years [TS]

  think about it for a long time there [TS]

  have been let's put it this way there [TS]

  have been people who said hey you know [TS]

  we should be a little cooler about race [TS]

  and stop making it this divide where the [TS]

  divide is important and we make the [TS]

  rules as white people for why that [TS]

  divide is important I think in some form [TS]

  or fashion that's been a lot of the [TS]

  problem for ever [TS]

  I and the Indians things though even up [TS]

  into the last five or so years that is [TS]

  still been a real struggle nothing it's [TS]

  not a struggle anymore but you know what [TS]

  there's a part of me that thinks that [TS]

  when it comes to I treating people of [TS]

  different races like normal people [TS]

  treating people of different genders [TS]

  orientations etc as people when that was [TS]

  still when that still felt like a mostly [TS]

  digital thing like you're you're white [TS]

  or not white [TS]

  you're straight or not straight oh I [TS]

  assume i think that buying [TS]

  Mary yeah but then you start meeting [TS]

  people where you're like I'm not even [TS]

  sure why I hate you because you don't [TS]

  mean like Oh Bruce Bruce Jenner becomes [TS]

  a woman which he feels like he's always [TS]

  been pleased also a Republican whose [TS]

  anti-gay that is such a mind bomb for [TS]

  people of a certain age and I think they [TS]

  haven't recovered I think those going [TS]

  beyond those white sand box of getting [TS]

  beyond those apricots and peaches I [TS]

  think that is is the terraform that has [TS]

  cost a lot of changes it's so confusing [TS]

  now that you wouldn't know what racial [TS]

  epithet to call somebody right what are [TS]

  you gonna do what are you gonna yell at [TS]

  bruce jenner uh Caitlyn Jenner about the [TS]

  feeling generous I mean I i only heard [TS]

  this haven't read this but supposedly [TS]

  Caitlyn Jenner is it is a very [TS]

  conservative is very conservative [TS]

  politically it's actually uh not so into [TS]

  things like a marriage [TS]

  well what's 105 years ago that would [TS]

  make my brain pop out of my head cause [TS]

  that seems so weird that a trans person [TS]

  would be not so into gay marriage i I've [TS]

  been dealing with this for 20 years [TS]

  because or no 125 because I you know I [TS]

  lived in a mostly gay neighborhood and [TS]

  the man most of my friends a work day [TS]

  and always kind of liked the castro of [TS]

  the Seattle right that's right it's and [TS]

  you know in seattle in San Francisco had [TS]

  the largest populations of any US cities [TS]

  i think Seattle a distant second now but [TS]

  it's still America and you know my first [TS]

  job in seattle was working a gay bar so [TS]

  i was i was very much like in tune with [TS]

  the culture and right about that time [TS]

  1992 the rise of the Log Cabin [TS]

  Republicans which none of us could parse [TS]

  right this is a whole group of of gay [TS]

  Republicans during an era when to be [TS]

  there self-identifying both as publicly [TS]

  game publicly Republican yeah there's [TS]

  probably always been people like I [TS]

  imagined for a variety of reasons Cary [TS]

  Grant was probably pretty conservative [TS]

  but there's other stuff he maybe didn't [TS]

  want you to know about I don't think [TS]

  anybody the war that suit in North by [TS]

  Northwest could be conservative [TS]

  no saying no is that right but you know [TS]

  the Log Cabin Republicans a take on it [TS]

  was we're just people and we have these [TS]

  uh these beliefs and the fact that were [TS]

  gay is irrelevant to these are separate [TS]

  totally separate thing yeah except the I [TS]

  think they're trying to do kinda like [TS]

  the opposite of identity politics almost [TS]

  yeah except that the Republicans were [TS]

  constantly and actively at war with a [TS]

  with gay people didn't matter if you [TS]

  were a law in a log cabin or not [TS]

  uh-huh so this was one of those things [TS]

  you know this is the jack Tanner and [TS]

  Clarence Thomas problem so my dad's best [TS]

  friend of course of Jack taner federal [TS]

  judge and black and activists liberal [TS]

  and when Clarence Thomas was up for when [TS]

  he was nominated for the Supreme Court [TS]

  my dad was my dad and Tanner who would [TS]

  go to chinese food restaurants and yell [TS]

  at each other about who did more during [TS]

  World War two [TS]

  they were yelling at each other Tanner [TS]

  drove a drove like a duck [TS]

  you know like ride the ducks uh-huh one [TS]

  of those it's not even a question it's [TS]

  not exactly a boat [TS]

  yeah he was he was a sergeant driver doc [TS]

  and he drove a duck but back when the [TS]

  duck was actually a landing craft and it [TS]

  was a duct full of soldiers and he was [TS]

  driving it on the Iwo Jima ok and then [TS]

  my dad of course was a pilot chute chute [TS]

  and zeros out should I leaders I'd armed [TS]

  guy with the side of out the window and [TS]

  they would sit in there in the chinese [TS]

  food restaurant by this point Tanner was [TS]

  was a federal judge emeritus or [TS]

  something he only had to take you only [TS]

  had to adjudicate the cases that he [TS]

  chose and so most of the time most of [TS]

  the day they said in this Chinese food [TS]

  restaurant yelling at each other and you [TS]

  know when my dad was yelling about [TS]

  Clarence Thomas and Tanner was keeping [TS]

  quiet with the terrible with a smug look [TS]

  on his face which is basically how they [TS]

  always were looking at each other smugly [TS]

  and tender said I support Clarence [TS]

  Thomas and my dad almost lost his mind [TS]

  because they had spent their entire [TS]

  lives together often together working [TS]

  for the cause of justice and racial [TS]

  equality and [TS]

  you know and liberal politics and [TS]

  Clarence Thomas was was the worst [TS]

  writing an enormous step back for all [TS]

  those things and Tanner was like nope [TS]

  the black guy on the Supreme Court I [TS]

  support him oh oh yeah okay dad [TS]

  different it's a different axis [TS]

  that's right two different access he's [TS]

  like it doesn't matter to me if he's an [TS]

  avowed not see it's important and he [TS]

  matters to me and he's a black guy on [TS]

  the Supreme Court done and my dad could [TS]

  never accept it he you know he would go [TS]

  this way and that way but of course it [TS]

  was a thing that my dad didn't even have [TS]

  even having been best friends with him a [TS]

  basically their whole adult life since [TS]

  that time they were 24 he couldn't get [TS]

  inside his head he couldn't understand [TS]

  what it was like to be a a black judge [TS]

  right tanner was a federal judge like it [TS]

  he this guy was his peer and his [TS]

  politics were secondary so Wow watching [TS]

  those to argue because you know i'm [TS]

  sitting there course in in combat boots [TS]

  with a soul patch going Jesus can we [TS]

  just order you know what do you--what [TS]

  are going to get you're gonna get Mushu [TS]

  pork in general tso's chicken like every [TS]

  time can we and the waiters standing [TS]

  there and they're like I'll tell you [TS]

  what I'm gonna do about her [TS]

  you didn't even you never even saw [TS]

  pistol [TS]

  yes i did David I fired my pistol many [TS]

  times we should record that I wish I had [TS]

  to you know [TS]

  oh my god Tanner told this story one [TS]

  time that blew my mind [TS]

  he was a lawyer and there was and and it [TS]

  was during the era of the radicalization [TS]

  of the of American Indians the american [TS]

  indian movement aim that was behind the [TS]

  the takeover of Alcatraz Alcatraz and [TS]

  the and the showdown at lolla it was [TS]

  that early seventies era when when that [TS]

  the tribes became radicalized and there [TS]

  was a and the chief of the Puyallup [TS]

  tribe [TS]

  in Washington right near tacoma was a [TS]

  man named sataya come and the tire come [TS]

  with a young charismatic activists chief [TS]

  who was who was radical but also [TS]

  personally radical and Tanner was his [TS]

  lawyer and they were always he was he [TS]

  was constantly in trouble you as you [TS]

  know he was like running guns and money [TS]

  and it was the Revolutionary era the you [TS]

  know the symbian ease army Liberation [TS]

  Army right okay the time when there were [TS]

  all kinds of groups coming along that [TS]

  were a very unconventional and [TS]

  asymmetrical and it was sometimes [TS]

  difficult to understand that come from [TS]

  the outside why the script was even [TS]

  together [TS]

  yeah and it was like well we're [TS]

  overthrowing the US government that's [TS]

  the end goal and where were allied with [TS]

  the IRA and the PLO but were you know [TS]

  but where the Puyallup tribe right [TS]

  anyway at some point that item was under [TS]

  indictment and the feds were coming for [TS]

  him and he showed up at tanners office [TS]

  with like three grocery bags full of [TS]

  money [TS]

  what and he said let's get out of here [TS]

  and he and Tanner flew to Bangkok with [TS]

  three grocery bags full of money and [TS]

  proceeded to spend a year like buying [TS]

  diamonds and emeralds and taking them to [TS]

  India and and it was it was it was like [TS]

  a tracking him trying to get set up for [TS]

  the long haul [TS]

  no just fucking being and just living [TS]

  Wow um and it was like a hunter s [TS]

  thompson seen Tanner was his lawyer they [TS]

  ended up they ended up at the rumble in [TS]

  the jungle right the the famous boxing [TS]

  match watching the big fight [TS]

  somehow you know somehow they were you [TS]

  know they were funneling they were [TS]

  running money through Paris and all [TS]

  these diamonds sewed into their [TS]

  waistcoats and and [TS]

  and they made it back to America and [TS]

  sataya come I don't know when to either [TS]

  went to prisoner went underground ended [TS]

  up in Canada and I this story just I was [TS]

  probably 24 and he he would this story [TS]

  this was this the story where my dad [TS]

  didn't interrupt him once we just SAT [TS]

  there and listened to this in my day we [TS]

  know my dad verified it it independently [TS]

  that you know that you associate this [TS]

  was an exaggerated or a tall tale who [TS]

  knows neither one I don't know if either [TS]

  one of those guys knew the difference [TS]

  but you know but the way Tanner cast the [TS]

  story sataya come was this legend like a [TS]

  folk hero a full Carol that's precisely [TS]

  it all the ladies loved him and all the [TS]

  men look up to him and he was he had a [TS]

  gun in his boot and a grocery bag full [TS]

  of money and they're in bangkok in 72 or [TS]

  what you know and at the rumble in the [TS]

  jungle with with the with George [TS]

  Plimpton it's just like what kind of [TS]

  lives have you like this you know and [TS]

  then five years later he gets appointed [TS]

  to the federal bench [TS]

  it just makes me I don't know it just [TS]

  makes me feel like well yeah but I mean [TS]

  also kinda doesn't also kind of feed [TS]

  into your hole like how come I never got [TS]

  to be well yeah why darlin i'm at South [TS]

  by Southwest that's the highlight of my [TS]

  year the highlight of 2400 sell the West [TS]

  yeah i saw spoon in a garage [TS]

  did Jack Tanner's you know in Vietnam [TS]

  throwing helicopters me maybe you should [TS]

  be kidding around more money and grocery [TS]

  bags [TS]

  well don't think that I am NOT trying [TS]

  how many times have I mentioned money [TS]

  and in grocery bags or duffel bag any [TS]

  nibbles on that have you gotten any not [TS]

  one is that is that right [TS]

  not a one and i think that's sickening [TS]

  well i think it is that a i think it is [TS]

  that the entrepreneurs are waiting [TS]

  they're waiting for their waiting for me [TS]

  to I don't know do the dog whistle right [TS]

  it's a dog whistle [TS]

  the dog was am [TS]

  and they're out there you know that [TS]

  they've got a company with 15 people and [TS]

  they've got a CTO SEO a CEO a CLO cqo [TS]

  cro cro w mhm and and then like two [TS]

  employees to engineers right and and [TS]

  their their their their board meetings [TS]

  and somebody says alright we've been you [TS]

  know we've been listening to rock on the [TS]

  line for a long time how are we going to [TS]

  hire Merlyn John yeah and make them CMO [TS]

  and see jail [TS]

  uh-huh and general an officer chief John [TS]

  that's right huh [TS]

  and uh and they're like not yet right [TS]

  like and I think it's one of these [TS]

  quests a question of like pre-ipo [TS]

  post-ipo interesting it's a pregnancy [TS]

  how the product development goes and [TS]

  then decide they want to get it will be [TS]

  the first ones to invest it will be the [TS]

  second ones to invest [TS]

  well yeah but if they if they bring us [TS]

  on pre-ipo and that gives give us like [TS]

  options on a million shares each how is [TS]

  that going to water down you don't [TS]

  you're gonna share dilution share [TS]

  dilution right as opposed to bring us on [TS]

  after the IPO and then we're just you [TS]

  know we're getting we're getting some [TS]

  compensation not you know not the [TS]

  preferred stock [TS]

  mhm so I don't I mean I can't I keep [TS]

  every morning I wake up I go downstairs [TS]

  I used to go downstairs open the door [TS]

  and there was the newspaper but the day [TS]

  after I lost the primary election from [TS]

  seattle city council I also unsubscribe [TS]

  to the fucking newspaper because the [TS]

  Seattle newspaper lawful and so I was [TS]

  the first thing i did I woke up that [TS]

  morning I called the new departments at [TS]

  cancel my subscription got your legal [TS]

  pad with the big checklist [TS]

  that's my subscription take down that [TS]

  website you know like never talk to [TS]

  these five people again [TS]

  yeah but so now every morning I go [TS]

  downstairs in my robe and instead of [TS]

  opening the door looking for my [TS]

  newspaper i open the door expecting [TS]

  there to be a filson bag full of money [TS]

  you've been you've been very clear about [TS]

  this but it just keeps not happening so [TS]

  i don't know i mean you know the thing [TS]

  is there's nobody more frugal than a [TS]

  rich person that's how you get rich so [TS]

  they want they want value for the dollar [TS]

  they're driving their 1978 Volvo and [TS]

  they're like what's where's the words [TS]

  value for the dollar [TS]

  also I think people may misunderstand [TS]

  let's be honest there's an element that [TS]

  to this of yes you actually do want [TS]

  somebody to give you a lot of money so [TS]

  you can be rich but there's a lot more [TS]

  to it than that I think there's [TS]

  something that is a very human part of [TS]

  the story to which you want what that [TS]

  represents for both you and the person [TS]

  getting it right is how KooKoo matata [TS]

  like then giving you this money is going [TS]

  to create a bigger gesture [TS]

  it's not just about the money although [TS]

  it's mostly about the money right [TS]

  koyaanisqatsi playing Scott see ya when [TS]

  it's Godsey hey empanada you i right of [TS]

  course I understand [TS]

  I mean I've been to san francisco right [TS]

  that's true I know how it feels to be in [TS]

  the eye of the storm [TS]

  oh boy right but you remember when you [TS]

  wouldn't go side south of market now [TS]

  what South of Market piles of money [TS]

  piles of money on top of piles of poop [TS]

  because they never wash down the [TS]

  sidewalks it would just sleep on the [TS]

  money because they can't afford a place [TS]

  to keep it on the money is exactly what [TS]

  is actually cheaper to sleep on money [TS]

  and get a house here [TS]

  ya can't afford a house just make an [TS]

  estimate slipping your money pot percent [TS]

  down to princeton down i canna Scott see [TS]

  all right [TS]