Roderick on the Line

Ep. 193: "Oklahoma the Sex Cat"

 

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you by Squarespace start [TS]

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  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Merlin has gone good [TS]

  after settings [TS]

  um my settings are good now now that [TS]

  I've going in and fix them all there was [TS]

  no reason that they should have changed [TS]

  huh [TS]

  but of course that's no explanation [TS]

  I mean that's it's not it's not that [TS]

  they shouldn't have changed its that the [TS]

  computer decided and I think it has more [TS]

  information than i do probably it's [TS]

  drawing from a lot of sources in [TS]

  real-time em it's showing you things you [TS]

  didn't know you needed [TS]

  yeah so it determined that everything [TS]

  needed to be reset and I need to login [TS]

  again using my secret password login and [TS]

  wanted me to login to the whole computer [TS]

  just like just everything it just wants [TS]

  me to log into everything all the time [TS]

  you might be might have been hacked [TS]

  how do you know what twenty-five percent [TS]

  of what i do is login m and this morning [TS]

  I'm checking my emails and I realized [TS]

  that in a very short amount of time how [TS]

  long have we had emails how long have [TS]

  you been getting emails i'm getting [TS]

  emails for 23 years 13 years okay I've [TS]

  been getting emails for at least six [TS]

  that I can call let's call it 16 even [TS]

  answering them for to get well you know [TS]

  you want to put yourself out there too [TS]

  much i'll explain why you no answer and [TS]

  the near information in the clothes but [TS]

  a but uh yeah I i was checking my email [TS]

  this morning and I realize now I have [TS]

  the exact same relationship to email [TS]

  that i have two real mail right I'm [TS]

  sitting there in my it but I'm sitting [TS]

  in my virtual front yard and I'm [TS]

  virtually sorting through a bunch of [TS]

  flyers for grocery stores [TS]

  uh-huh and stuff from the like six [TS]

  colleges that mistakenly think I want to [TS]

  go get a degree and in IT and some you [TS]

  know it's just like I'm i throw ninety [TS]

  percent of the email i get immediately [TS]

  in the garbage and that is after [TS]

  spending probably ten thousand man hours [TS]

  meticulously adjusting my spam filters [TS]

  and sending oh my god Merlin I'm sure [TS]

  you gonna roll your eyes at me but I [TS]

  send unsubscribes everytime everytime [TS]

  the University of San Francisco decides [TS]

  that I'm an alum again are you jasmine [TS]

  rice and then your underwear the Gonzaga [TS]

  list [TS]

  no it's not that it's not your chance in [TS]

  san francisco at the University of [TS]

  California San Francisco it's one of the [TS]

  universities in San Francisco sure [TS]

  decided eight years ago that i had gone [TS]

  there and they cannot be put off the [TS]

  scent [TS]

  oh and I and so I spend all this time on [TS]

  subscribe and subscribe and subscribe [TS]

  please unsubscribe me to the thing that [TS]

  I didn't subscribe 2 i've done all that [TS]

  and still a t28 ninety percent of the [TS]

  emails I get I just throw him be virtual [TS]

  recycling bin without even going into [TS]

  the pit through the gate into my house I [TS]

  just stand by the mailbox [TS]

  that's like wow the new technology has [TS]

  really it's only taken at 23 years to [TS]

  become completely obsolete technology [TS]

  yeah email in a minute how many emails [TS]

  to you answer every day you don't want [TS]

  to know [TS]

  313 you know wanted out 0 300 between [TS]

  three and three hundred i just i just [TS]

  want to clarify I i look at my email [TS]

  yeah you know oh that's right now this [TS]

  is a different thing we're gonna know [TS]

  you know okay and I'm not trying to be a [TS]

  Productivity guy I'm just telling you [TS]

  what a terrible person I am I a lot of [TS]

  days I answer less than one email a day [TS]

  yes yes yeah that and your productivity [TS]

  through the roof [TS]

  I so many thoughts about this i really [TS]

  need my productivity go through the roof [TS]

  i was getting ready for for the day [TS]

  getting ready for the things they needed [TS]

  to do and thinking about the things i [TS]

  need to do today [TS]

  now what do you need on a day when you [TS]

  and I are recording yeah okay isn't it [TS]

  isn't the the recording of this podcast [TS]

  sort of such a bright Sun you can't even [TS]

  see the other stars only four out of [TS]

  five of them yeah but there's that one [TS]

  there's Venus or what [TS]

  whether you can see what you can put out [TS]

  there's the ones that you know [TS]

  no we don't actually put out almost all [TS]

  of them now haven't we haven't we [TS]

  haven't not point out pulling out a long [TS]

  time [TS]

  remember remember the remember when it [TS]

  seemed like every other one we were [TS]

  putting out [TS]

  yeah when you get a minute 80 and you [TS]

  start going on now now now consigned [TS]

  some special happens a minute Katy [TS]

  that's where somewhere in your mind you [TS]

  I assume have some unconscious gate [TS]

  gateway where you're like I can start [TS]

  whining this down or I can triple down [TS]

  and get it [TS]

  well ok if this is a moment is you are [TS]

  saying you're in every tone in your [TS]

  voice you just saying no no no no what [TS]

  just winded up were admitted 80 this is [TS]

  already good episode [TS]

  yeah it's not just that's good point [TS]

  John you Tommy kind of El any kind of [TS]

  Bel carry some funny somebody I can not [TS]

  that I ever tell you about Hitler's sex [TS]

  dungeons and you're like who don't know [TS]

  I i would love to hear about that here's [TS]

  how my day goes i've been i've been [TS]

  working on sleep again and so I've been [TS]

  kind of a bad dad rice sleep in later [TS]

  than ash in the mornings and my wife [TS]

  ends up doing a lot of heavy lifting in [TS]

  the morning and i'm trying to work on [TS]

  that so I'm trying to adjust going to [TS]

  bed earlier which is difficult because [TS]

  as I've said numerous places including [TS]

  here I falling back into a pattern of [TS]

  really enjoying the time after my kid [TS]

  goes to bed working like watch movies [TS]

  and I'm very selfishly watching movies [TS]

  and TV shows and if I don't keep an eye [TS]

  on that I will do that very easily until [TS]

  1am who I'm trying to get to where like [TS]

  I want to go to bed before midnight [TS]

  ideally 1030 long story short got up [TS]

  today I select my way through the [TS]

  morning with the family I didn't really [TS]

  do anything of consequence so I gotta [TS]

  get ready for the day [TS]

  what do I have to do is record to [TS]

  podcast today well it's your other [TS]

  podcast you don't care i got to do [TS]

  podcast that record today and I have to [TS]

  get the sponsors ready for our show [TS]

  I have to do the research for that I [TS]

  have to do the sponsor reads for another [TS]

  program the third program that i do five [TS]

  and I thought nothing nothing difficult [TS]

  but it's all stuff that has to be done [TS]

  it's like that [TS]

  mission program lost we think about if [TS]

  you watch that programme but but there's [TS]

  a point out when the shows still made [TS]

  him a modicum of sense where there's a [TS]

  guy who sits in an underground cavern in [TS]

  like an underground like you know layer [TS]

  and every few minutes he has to type a [TS]

  sequence of numbers into a computer who [TS]

  and and for a while we know is boy he's [TS]

  really got to get those numbers punched [TS]

  and there's gonna be problems and then [TS]

  and then my my understanding is it all [TS]

  turned out to just be that every episode [TS]

  was totally just had no connective [TS]

  tissue really really complicated [TS]

  no not now let me ask you r which is [TS]

  what this is that this is this is an [TS]

  argument that Shawn Nelson I used to [TS]

  have a lot we would go to the meeting [TS]

  you and Shawn would argue sometimes we [TS]

  used to have arguments will let us agree [TS]

  mental gentleman's disagreements but we [TS]

  never took it all the way to having a [TS]

  podcast which is what you should do when [TS]

  you have disagreements with somebody but [TS]

  we would go to see the movies and you [TS]

  know Sean was a cinephile and and [TS]

  studied movies or whatever and I we [TS]

  would go see a film and I would come out [TS]

  of the film and said that movie had no [TS]

  redeeming qualities it was garbage movie [TS]

  would be sigh he would sigh and he would [TS]

  say and then we'd start arguing and he [TS]

  would say no no it was a great movie and [TS]

  I would say it not only can you not [TS]

  defend the statement it's a great movie [TS]

  you can't even defend my assertion that [TS]

  movie should be burned in the public [TS]

  square [TS]

  yeah and he would say this is what he [TS]

  would say what about that one tracking [TS]

  shot all that's that we're one long view [TS]

  they took in the whole army marching [TS]

  through the valley and then it spanned [TS]

  over here and then it's settled on an [TS]

  eagle in its Airy and then there were [TS]

  some clouds in a rainbow would be like [TS]

  seriously you're going to defend this [TS]

  movie based on some the technicality of [TS]

  one long tracking shot huh [TS]

  but he was seeing the trees for the [TS]

  forest or whatever you know he didn't [TS]

  matter to him that the plot was garbage [TS]

  the dialogue was garbage them the acting [TS]

  was garbage they had this tracking shot [TS]

  he was seeing all these other elements [TS]

  that he was appreciated almost like he's [TS]

  watching a different movie in some ways [TS]

  he's very much watching a different [TS]

  movie because it because I mean it's not [TS]

  that he doesn't also know that dialogue [TS]

  matters and script matters or whatever [TS]

  but he decides at a certain point in the [TS]

  film but that's not what he's looking [TS]

  for anymore or that this movie stands [TS]

  this is valid enough movie on some [TS]

  technical basis that that it that it's [TS]

  in the category of like good movies and [TS]

  I've had a lot of people say about lost [TS]

  to me even now knowing that it's [TS]

  gibberish [TS]

  they still recommend that i watch it [TS]

  because it's such a fun watch yeah and [TS]

  I'm and I pull my hair out [TS]

  look I I almost shouted at them it's [TS]

  it's a very different way of thinking [TS]

  about at least media and possibly the [TS]

  world [TS]

  yeah I feel like it is a worldview [TS]

  because I you know my feeling is like [TS]

  life is short enough huh [TS]

  if you are only queuing up to watch.just [TS]

  the things that everyone agrees are [TS]

  brilliant [TS]

  why would you subject yourself to hours [TS]

  upon hours of watching a thing that has [TS]

  no that makes no sense that has no point [TS]

  other than that some people had a lot of [TS]

  money and didn't think a thing through [TS]

  and that you know and so that it feels [TS]

  like a it feels like a worldview [TS]

  difference where maybe I don't [TS]

  understand but but the idea i mean if [TS]

  someone put someone put me in a room [TS]

  that just had blanket was one of those [TS]

  one of those silent rooms that makes you [TS]

  insane [TS]

  uh-huh you're familiar with this right [TS]

  yeah absolutely it's one of the things [TS]

  that sounds like it would be relaxing [TS]

  but it's actually a cause of insanity [TS]

  right there by your brain it's like [TS]

  people like like a heart freaking out in [TS]

  the relaxation body relaxation but it's [TS]

  not a bottle it was in a box it was not [TS]

  put up right yeah I've been in this it's [TS]

  pretty weird seems to me like one of [TS]

  those isolation Tubbs is that takes like [TS]

  six out of seven boxes for me it's [TS]

  little it's dark it's wet it's a lot of [TS]

  things you don't like I don't like [TS]

  little you don't mind being wet if it's [TS]

  an open tub in fact that something to [TS]

  look forward to and possibly bring a [TS]

  sandwich in a desk and you know I don't [TS]

  mind it being dark [TS]

  but anyway uh I don't want to be in dark [TS]

  even if you can't really exactly like [TS]

  control the dark [TS]

  no I want to the Lockean problem i think [TS]

  when you when you know you can change [TS]

  the dark I think it makes the dark worse [TS]

  yeah i know i want to be able to i want [TS]

  to be able to banish the dark [TS]

  yeah and let in the light went on my [TS]

  terms but but yeah all by way of saying [TS]

  that that if it feels to me like if I [TS]

  was in an isolation cube and I was going [TS]

  crazy from lack of stimulus and someone [TS]

  said here's some relief [TS]

  you should like a buffalo to be sure to [TS]

  watch buffy the vampire slayer now I you [TS]

  know people in my circle time on my [TS]

  inner circle [TS]

  okay uh are proponents loud proponents [TS]

  of buffy the vampire slayer' and it is [TS]

  this is a world view all of the [TS]

  spin-offs that o.o the spin-offs the one [TS]

  of the vampire guy and the one of the [TS]

  other vampire guy i mean i don't know [TS]

  anything about it but i guess they all [TS]

  have been empires in them it's right in [TS]

  the title [TS]

  yeah so you're saying that buffy the [TS]

  vampire slayer is also a worldview not [TS]

  sure this has to do with my morning but [TS]

  I carry around a certain amount of [TS]

  background baseline guilt that a lot of [TS]

  my friends you know it is so there's [TS]

  also the thing with age where like if [TS]

  you missed your window for something [TS]

  you're gonna have to go back and like [TS]

  mop up like it's hard to tell an 80 year [TS]

  old man you listen yellow like even [TS]

  though LOL is it is an unimpeachable [TS]

  great band with a dozen terrific classic [TS]

  rock songs [TS]

  yes that's he missed his yellow window [TS]

  how did you feel about uh about Dukes of [TS]

  Hazzard I was a massive fan I dressed I [TS]

  just like Bo due to the extent of my [TS]

  budget would allow really yeah i adopted [TS]

  a certain yeah i did I dress like boat I [TS]

  feel like I dressed like it was really [TS]

  super gay [TS]

  I looked I looked really stupid I was [TS]

  always a fat kid wearing a turtleneck [TS]

  with a plan sure it look I look like I [TS]

  was producing something off off-broadway [TS]

  the the statement I looked like Bo Duke [TS]

  to the extent that my budget would allow [TS]

  yes that that line actually would fit [TS]

  into the Waylon Jennings [TS]

  has all right you're right it was a [TS]

  person because we're as good as it did [TS]

  allowed would allow yeah you can turn on [TS]

  Nick the donor milk Merrill Draper Phil [TS]

  saying on [TS]

  did I ever tell you that I was in a bar [TS]

  in Belgium one time a country bar and [TS]

  like the band was playing and they [TS]

  played the dukes of hazzard the ballad [TS]

  of the Dukes of Hazzard yeah and I went [TS]

  up after the show nose like that was [TS]

  great you guys did a great job of the [TS]

  Dukes of Hazzard theme and numb spoke [TS]

  English they just they were just saying [TS]

  it phonetically like Abba yeah like Abba [TS]

  so your morning [TS]

  oh no it's okay i'll get back to it I [TS]

  want you back to Desmond um so yeah that [TS]

  really matter [TS]

  ok but here's here's part of problem i [TS]

  think what you're saying let's try to [TS]

  pop the stack here we're talking about [TS]

  something that says it's very difficult [TS]

  and it's something i have actually [TS]

  discussed at length in other places [TS]

  which most people haven't heard because [TS]

  nobody can listen to all the media [TS]

  there's too much media so part of the [TS]

  media problem is that you end up having [TS]

  to find rabbis and sherpa don't know the [TS]

  plural of Sherpas repay you gotta find [TS]

  Sharpay who are able to guide you with [TS]

  taste and interest and to give you see I [TS]

  i personally I increasingly find it not [TS]

  that helpful when someone says something [TS]

  like and I'm just picking this randomly [TS]

  oh my god you should totally watch how [TS]

  to get away with murder and then i say [TS]

  what i say what is that the seventy [TS]

  percent of the conversations I have in [TS]

  the world or any other shonda rhimes [TS]

  properties none of which i have ever [TS]

  seen because i don't watch that kind of [TS]

  television but no no don't i'm not [TS]

  racist i just mean I don't watch network [TS]

  television as a thing I don't have [TS]

  appointment viewing I don't have cable [TS]

  so like any way that that's again that's [TS]

  part of my yellow window like I missed [TS]

  that window and watch making a murderer [TS]

  making a murderer [TS]

  oh yeah I i watched all with the last [TS]

  episode we got all the way to the last [TS]

  episode like I couldn't it was I [TS]

  couldn't do it [TS]

  yeah it made me genuinely very very sad [TS]

  to watch that show em and i know i [TS]

  understand like a lot of it was probably [TS]

  a little bit doctored but it was it's [TS]

  one of those things where like against [TS]

  kind of people will point out you know [TS]

  black people known this for years that [TS]

  maybe the justice system doesn't work [TS]

  so much like a Swiss clock so much like [TS]

  Swiss cheese write that down [TS]

  it's pretty good huh are this episode of [TS]

  rock on the line is brought to you in [TS]

  part by Squarespace start building your [TS]

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  find our thanks to squarespace for [TS]

  supporting rock on the line and all the [TS]

  great shows i'm still trying i'm still [TS]

  turning on popping the stack [TS]

  yeah look it back to that first talk [TS]

  about my morning so and the problem is i [TS]

  missed my window because it's like a lot [TS]

  of things were like you know like you [TS]

  and you watch us [TS]

  startrack new generation yeah so like [TS]

  for me that came on almost precisely as [TS]

  I was starting college where even if I [TS]

  did have a TV that I could watch it [TS]

  would be very extremely low on my list [TS]

  to set aside time in the evening to [TS]

  watch a star track who [TS]

  ok there's nothing against the star trac [TS]

  properties so you're telling me that you [TS]

  skipped star trek next next gen I can't [TS]

  about this but I'm here to tell you that [TS]

  i can honestly tell you I can tell you [TS]

  from memory i have seen three full [TS]

  episodes of the original series possibly [TS]

  maybe ten i have seen I think maybe two [TS]

  or three of the new generation which is [TS]

  what it's called arm and you don't you [TS]

  don't know about the sexism of the [TS]

  Ferengi's oh no I know there's four [TS]

  lights 404 lights and you don't you [TS]

  don't cop to this but you were you [TS]

  enjoyed star trac you've mentioned in [TS]

  your songs i have not mentioned in my [TS]

  songs you wanted a reference you've rest [TS]

  reference to start racks in a song what [TS]

  song did I reference a star track and [TS]

  astatine you do use it really those does [TS]

  this is this terrible awesome like puns [TS]

  and your song great it starts with the [TS]

  earthquake birds snakes instead trains [TS]

  startrack Ferengi sexism problem what [TS]

  puns do i have in songs i really like [TS]

  you do you bullshit like an Angels [TS]

  Russians oh alright you guys like that [TS]

  that's one example but that's not my [TS]

  point you know enjoy that your songs you [TS]

  piece of shit i was i was a fan of you [TS]

  before anybody knew who you were [TS]

  Shawn Nelson yelled at me about that [TS]

  line i love that like I said that's [TS]

  corny that we got whole song I I someday [TS]

  i will get the guts to ask you what the [TS]

  fuck that song is about but I for now I [TS]

  in enjoy you know thinking about the [TS]

  whatever the tall chickens or whatever [TS]

  yeah right okay so that was the plan but [TS]

  you know something i was a fan of your [TS]

  music before anyone care [TS]

  about you know you don't have to tell me [TS]

  i remember getting started my house in [TS]

  your underwear so many times I remember [TS]

  sitting in the other room and listening [TS]

  to you listen to my second record which [TS]

  actually have listened to the first [TS]

  minute of it [TS]

  I should describe better but it's like [TS]

  to have never listened to your brand-new [TS]

  record he took it as a dining room took [TS]

  me into the dining room with her [TS]

  probably Walkman everything like hey [TS]

  this is something extremely special [TS]

  ok I new record it's not out yet this is [TS]

  our demos of our next record and it's [TS]

  gonna it's a really big deal [TS]

  these are like rough they were rough [TS]

  demos but they were rough cuts out early [TS]

  songs some of which may not so much did [TS]

  some which became the theme song for our [TS]

  program which i happen to love josh is [TS]

  wrong it's fantastic song and I and I [TS]

  was like oh my god this is great and I [TS]

  SAT there with your Walkman and you [TS]

  won't describe what i did is what he did [TS]

  usually do thanks John um you listen to [TS]

  the first 20 seconds of a song [TS]

  yeah and then you fast forward to the [TS]

  next one here the first 20 seconds the [TS]

  next one year the first 20 seconds on [TS]

  the next one and then you let you go [TS]

  they go to the first song and then your [TS]

  third song they go back to the first [TS]

  first song you listened to 20 seconds of [TS]

  a maritime and I was so incredulous and [TS]

  horrified i was like growing these songs [TS]

  are meant to be listened to all the way [TS]

  through there it's not you don't skip [TS]

  around and you're like no no I and [TS]

  Madeline grabbed me by the arm and took [TS]

  me into the kitchen and she said listen [TS]

  this is how he does it but just don't [TS]

  you don't [TS]

  I'm sorry I'm sorry I mean like so many [TS]

  many apologies she's made on your behalf [TS]

  yeah and and i had to leave you alone i [TS]

  had i think i may have had to have gone [TS]

  and stood on the back porch and smoke [TS]

  cigarettes because i could not a fathom [TS]

  or be a sufferer endure endure this this [TS]

  process by which he who consumed by my [TS]

  my baby might receive challenge must be [TS]

  tough on you John [TS]

  I have no idea how to use it install [TS]

  it's on the clothes [TS]

  it was a line in which song i've only [TS]

  had one cup of coffee so I mean I get [TS]

  this it was the one you make you talk [TS]

  about it let's talk about an alien race [TS]

  on one of the songs don't you mention [TS]

  like what's the ones did not they're not [TS]

  Vulcans and they're not [TS]

  oh wait a minute [TS]

  you mentioned yes I do which song is [TS]

  that it's a 0 Romulans I do talk about [TS]

  Romulans see what Romulan looks like I [TS]

  talk about Romulans one time I mention [TS]

  removes one time I look at the Romulans [TS]

  yeah they look like a Vulcan kinda [TS]

  they're very they're related to Vulcans [TS]

  are they okay out there like Vulcan [TS]

  cousins [TS]

  okay all right all right there like bad [TS]

  Vulcans that Vulcans yeah and and I [TS]

  think creatures of logic John I believe [TS]

  that they are they re yes I I you I was [TS]

  using Romulans in that in that moment [TS]

  moment to describe a certain kind of [TS]

  hipster of the time on Hobbesian sense [TS]

  yeah the the hipsters that are that are [TS]

  there gradually sinking into the mire [TS]

  chewing on one another shinbones know [TS]

  this this the the the hipsters that look [TS]

  like Romulans I mean there wasn't there [TS]

  was a whole era there early emo do you [TS]

  know you're right you are really right I [TS]

  was like Romulan fashion was what what [TS]

  the super hip kids were into so when I [TS]

  said Romulans I was just making a dig [TS]

  and you know there are none of those in [TS]

  my songs I've never making any digs at [TS]

  anybody [TS]

  oh no you're just you're just the [TS]

  all-seeing eye at the pier the musical [TS]

  pan opticon that's right that's right [TS]

  I'm the Bentham of indie rock em you're [TS]

  standing sitting in a box somewhere [TS]

  yeah that's right i've tried out bent [TS]

  them i'm i'm the head of my head of st. [TS]

  John my goodness you're your songs are [TS]

  so interesting new morning you lazy eye [TS]

  to Romulans over crew laughter when [TS]

  Katie died duel over my cold shoulder [TS]

  that's right and that's not even a long [TS]

  winter song oh no it is it is it it [TS]

  became one ticket [TS]

  yeah yeah Chris wallet play the drum [TS]

  machine on that two ramens over that she [TS]

  gets on Nelson doing yamaha keyboard [TS]

  harmony you're doing it and someone [TS]

  someone called robbie lawler Meyer is [TS]

  playing drums a great drum part on that [TS]

  yeah it's well so it was a it was a [TS]

  thing where we had the we have the drum [TS]

  machine and then Robbie played to the [TS]

  drum machine which is I think the first [TS]

  time that happened on one of our records [TS]

  and i was very interested in it can't be [TS]

  you [TS]

  compliment i think that that's terrific [TS]

  songs terrific album people who enjoy [TS]

  the worst you can do is harm which is [TS]

  which is one of the greatest rock songs [TS]

  albums of the last 20 years and I should [TS]

  also go and check out the worst you can [TS]

  do it harm I'll cut this out but that [TS]

  that one strikes me as a particularly [TS]

  wonderfully manic chris wallace produce [TS]

  song i think it worked on that when the [TS]

  chris wallace sound really worked on [TS]

  that one [TS]

  it did although we had a lot of [TS]

  disagreements about it you know if we're [TS]

  it's like I'm thinking about it doesn't [TS]

  have some weird like kind of you know [TS]

  ask like 80 things going on it's got a [TS]

  really weird sound to it [TS]

  remembering right i played the bass on [TS]

  it too which is which is additionally [TS]

  look at that you did but you know the [TS]

  this there are there's some flanges that [TS]

  happens in that song that was a result [TS]

  of a very old [TS]

  I behnaz flanger pedal called the frying [TS]

  pan which is it is a super can even see [TS]

  that on the market today probably well [TS]

  not for naught naught affordably it was [TS]

  like it had these islands pedals like a [TS]

  black finger and a and a frying pan to [TS]

  make the tube screamer that is [TS]

  yeah but these these these pedals are [TS]

  pre tubescreamer so they're they're the [TS]

  size of a box of chocolates how look at [TS]

  this thing just looks like like Soviet [TS]

  technology [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah and it when they were [TS]

  gorgeous and the thing about this [TS]

  flanger is that it had a it had a sweep [TS]

  that even modern digital Flanders all [TS]

  these flanges that have a thousand [TS]

  parameters you can you can change i've [TS]

  still never heard of a flanger that had [TS]

  the sound of this crime and the sweep [TS]

  was like from all the way are not where [TS]

  it sounds like a new a song but where [TS]

  its atmospheric and really just really [TS]

  analog in and and it was this beautiful [TS]

  piece of gear and I used it on that song [TS]

  and then there's nothing you can't [TS]

  replace it right you can't go buy some [TS]

  modified some modded inline-six thing to [TS]

  accomplish the sweep and i bet a nice [TS]

  sold that pedal because even at the time [TS]

  in 2001 was worth 350 bucks really and [TS]

  uh [TS]

  and now I'm like I mean it's a dumb [TS]

  thing to have kept in a closet all these [TS]

  years but but when you find a piece of [TS]

  something that can actually do something [TS]

  that nothing else can do that's those [TS]

  are the ones that you that you don't [TS]

  sell em but I mean I'm priced out of the [TS]

  frying pan market now so I buffy the [TS]

  vampire slayer came on at a time when I [TS]

  was a very into music on many love bowls [TS]

  and spending a lot of time on music the [TS]

  TV that I was into I'm gonna say was [TS]

  probably what probably still the [TS]

  simpsons seinfeld mr. show ya arm but [TS]

  the idea of being at that time I [TS]

  wouldn't recommend late nineties so the [TS]

  idea of being like a 30 something year [TS]

  old man and watching a show about a [TS]

  teenager who kills vampires was very [TS]

  unappealing to me [TS]

  did you like the movie I didn't see the [TS]

  movie will see the movie was good yeah i [TS]

  saw the movie it was a I don't know [TS]

  whether I saw ironically or whether i [TS]

  saw it [TS]

  I'm it must have been somewhat [TS]

  ironically I think everything we did in [TS]

  the 90s was ironic that's the thing [TS]

  you're you've got it you've got to write [TS]

  it was it was ironic but it was also [TS]

  that's the only way I consume things [TS]

  that was a good movie right oh those [TS]

  let's go see below the veil parlor but [TS]

  it was actually really good I liked it [TS]

  yeah yes different Buffy though and I [TS]

  don't know I don't know that has all the [TS]

  all the original vampires in it [TS]

  well that's so i didn't watch the show [TS]

  but i know a lot of food anyway I should [TS]

  move on all I'm saying is like I feel [TS]

  like I should watch it then i also get [TS]

  this vibe from people that's like oh it [TS]

  gets a lot better you know in later [TS]

  seasons you got to kind of go through [TS]

  and it's like today that's difficult [TS]

  that's difficult because there's so much [TS]

  stuff we're like you know like stuff [TS]

  will drop on netflix were like every [TS]

  episode is so good you know where it's [TS]

  like and so setting aside the time [TS]

  like--see oh I'm going to find an hour [TS]

  to go watch an episode of daredevil or [TS]

  whatever but it's like you know now you [TS]

  are like you're in for a diamond for a [TS]

  dollar like you're right we're gonna [TS]

  watch that whole thing in fact netflix [TS]

  pink has gotten rather canny about being [TS]

  able to determine how successful [TS]

  something will be based on what other [TS]

  people watched how much of it up they [TS]

  watched etc etc etc so using science on [TS]

  our television [TS]

  oh I know they are they are peeping at [TS]

  you [TS]

  you and then they're using that to sell [TS]

  things to you this is a thing I've just [TS]

  been realizing what are they selling [TS]

  tian'an how the internet the internet I [TS]

  just the whole idea that [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah I you know somebody asked [TS]

  me the other day like what I thought [TS]

  about the grand sweep of madmen and I [TS]

  was not obviously not embarrassed but I [TS]

  was chagrined to say that at the end of [TS]

  the first season of mad men i found it [TS]

  to be so nihilistic that I never watch [TS]

  it again so the only one down season of [TS]

  mad men because realism is not the thing [TS]

  that I'm that I'm consuming media for or [TS]

  I have enough of it but you're also like [TS]

  in that case it's one thing to say that [TS]

  you're gonna go watch like you're gonna [TS]

  read a Cormac McCarthy book or something [TS]

  to say you know what I'm in for the [TS]

  nihilism on this one [TS]

  yeah when i'm done i closed the book I [TS]

  go look at another thing yet with this [TS]

  you're going like wow I mean youyou [TS]

  gonna watch an hour this know you're [TS]

  gonna watch whatever 20 of these and [TS]

  then you're gonna watch that four five [TS]

  six seasons you know you know that that [TS]

  was me in the walking dead which is now [TS]

  one of my favorite it probably is one of [TS]

  my favorite shows i look really look [TS]

  forward to it [TS]

  my hand Christ I could not watch it for [TS]

  my wife's been into it from the [TS]

  beginning I can't watch it was too much [TS]

  and now that summer's yeah yeah but it's [TS]

  it's really surprisingly realistic very [TS]

  grim and like all these great things [TS]

  it's kind of about zombies but it's [TS]

  really about the people and how they [TS]

  react in the aftermath but that's only a [TS]

  long time because it was impossibly as [TS]

  you seem realistic [TS]

  yeah but the problem for me is yeah I'm [TS]

  so disinterested in zombies the only [TS]

  thing I'm less interested in zombies [TS]

  people [TS]

  ok oh no this is this is not you should [TS]

  not put this on your on your on your [TS]

  netflix in my queue and like you know I [TS]

  shouldn't be that you watch the [TS]

  predestination movie it's got some good [TS]

  scenes in it so desperately sweeping [TS]

  tracking from sweeping tracking shots [TS]

  all the cinematography magnifique [TS]

  so Desmond had a a volley in the market [TS]

  store [TS]

  yeah yeah and about twenty carat diamond [TS]

  ring [TS]

  mhm know what about doesn't know I'm not [TS]

  just notice am Desmond Desmond Desmond [TS]

  job is on this island yes to go sit in [TS]

  this hole and every 108 minutes has to [TS]

  retype this series of know [TS]

  vers otherwise something bad happens [TS]

  otherwise yes something right so that is [TS]

  really good story that some kids are [TS]

  making in a cardboard box they cut [TS]

  windows in it wasn't just like this [TS]

  okay you're Desmond and you have that [TS]

  type of million types and then i will be [TS]

  a ghost monster who lives with alarm i [TS]

  won't come in here unless you stop [TS]

  typing [TS]

  yeah but that's basically i'm trying to [TS]

  say that that's an analogy because [TS]

  that's how I feel like my life is my [TS]

  life is not difficult at all basically [TS]

  just have to type something every [TS]

  hundred eight minutes but if I don't [TS]

  type in every hundred minutes there's [TS]

  gonna be problems [TS]

  oh so this is why I tend to say in other [TS]

  places that I don't think of myself as [TS]

  busy I think of myself as time [TS]

  constrained because i've got to be at [TS]

  the keyboard to type every hundred eight [TS]

  minutes so you know the universe and [TS]

  though I'm not trying to be overly cute [TS]

  or clever here I think that's a [TS]

  condition of a lot of people today is [TS]

  like there's it isn't like you have to [TS]

  what are some of the things you always [TS]

  pull out their ass you don't have to [TS]

  like go mine coal right you get to go bc [TS]

  do stuff i'm saying what i do is [TS]

  difficult but it is there is a certain [TS]

  schedule and regularity to it then what [TS]

  you're saying is that like I think that [TS]

  most of my time crunch problems could be [TS]

  solved if I could stop time because if I [TS]

  just stops what are not if I stop time [TS]

  if there were four extra hours in a day [TS]

  right because i want to sleep for eight [TS]

  hours but i also want to stay up until [TS]

  four in the morning but i also want to [TS]

  get up at 8am oh right you got like two [TS]

  or three problems [TS]

  yeah so I mean yeah I I don't want to go [TS]

  to sleep before 4am for some reason [TS]

  because that is what my body said his [TS]

  body's telling you i also want to get [TS]

  eight hours of sleep but I want to get [TS]

  up at eight in the morning so i can join [TS]

  the world and be with other people [TS]

  yeah and so what I need is just for [TS]

  extra hours that are just completely [TS]

  reserved for the additional four hours [TS]

  of sleep i need and that's what [TS]

  condition those you kind of I mean not [TS]

  saying you are expressly saying this but [TS]

  in in a similar dilemma I feel like I in [TS]

  that similar situation i actually want [TS]

  to be three different people because [TS]

  they're there's less certain let's take [TS]

  it as read there is the person who just [TS]

  for whatever reason likes to stay up [TS]

  late i have for most of my life with you [TS]

  know occasional needs to do otherwise [TS]

  been somebody who likes staying up late [TS]

  let's take that is its own thing [TS]

  good-by three i would go to 3x 3y want [TS]

  to go to bed but then you also want to [TS]

  be the person let's say then you want to [TS]

  the person who gets up [TS]

  pearly being the person who gets up [TS]

  early and the person who goes to bed [TS]

  early [TS]

  they're related but different people yes [TS]

  as the get up early in the morning [TS]

  person is the ultimate aspirational [TS]

  personality [TS]

  yep here we go to charge the day let's [TS]

  do it i'm done i've had half a cup of [TS]

  coffee and a scone [TS]

  I don't need anymore because i'm going [TS]

  to the gym I'm doing Pilates before i go [TS]

  to work you gotta you gotta work on your [TS]

  core and then everything going to bed [TS]

  early person like that'sthat's in some [TS]

  ways that the real monk that yeah that's [TS]

  the personality who sets all things [TS]

  aside and says well I just go to bed at [TS]

  nine forty-five because that's what I do [TS]

  yep talking myself in here got my pjs on [TS]

  pol vets sheet up under my chin you [TS]

  think your mom suffered from this at all [TS]

  it seems like she's got this all pretty [TS]

  much on lock [TS]

  well no I mean she's a person that only [TS]

  needs four hours of sleep because that's [TS]

  what happens apparently when you get to [TS]

  be an elderly person right but also when [TS]

  the sun goes down she starts to wind it [TS]

  down because it's like farm people write [TS]

  his son gets up [TS]

  you've got to get out and make you know [TS]

  you're burning daylight [TS]

  alright but as soon as the Sun Goes Down [TS]

  I think that she thinks like well you [TS]

  know the oil in these lamps isn't free [TS]

  right keep burning keep burning this oil [TS]

  and burn especially burn the midnight [TS]

  that's an interesting way to look at it [TS]

  because if you think about it and not to [TS]

  put too fine a point on it but if you [TS]

  think about in terms of let's say you [TS]

  are somebody like living on a farm in [TS]

  Ohio and you do have limited resources [TS]

  and you do have stuff you need to do you [TS]

  start to feel maybe a little bit like [TS]

  you're you're taking yet taking on a [TS]

  certain amount of debt you're burning [TS]

  these resources to do what are you [TS]

  burning those resources so you can watch [TS]

  these in one of vampire buffy the [TS]

  vampire slayer well you gotta be making [TS]

  biscuits at three-thirty so you may want [TS]

  to think twice about that you're like [TS]

  kind of hurt yourself two or three [TS]

  different ways [TS]

  yeah i mean all of the work that you [TS]

  this is and I think it's probably true [TS]

  I don't mind even be true of people that [TS]

  listen to our program but if your work [TS]

  if your work is done outside it is [TS]

  completely daylight dependent and so [TS]

  yeah you're your interaction with the [TS]

  world is so much different than mine [TS]

  which nothing I do is daylight dependent [TS]

  in fact it's much better done [TS]

  cloaked in darkness so but but it sounds [TS]

  to me like your time management thing [TS]

  that this idea that every hundred and [TS]

  twenty minutes you have to type into a [TS]

  computer you would you wouldn't benefit [TS]

  from for extra hours that happen in the [TS]

  middle of the night because you're you [TS]

  have to beat your tether no that's not [TS]

  strictly true i mean that I'm stretching [TS]

  the analogy here but all i meant to say [TS]

  was that like on a monday morning I know [TS]

  their stuff that's got to happen we have [TS]

  an orthodontist appointment today so i [TS]

  have to remember to put the retainers in [TS]

  my backpack because I'm gonna take her [TS]

  alma to school after picture to their [TS]

  after-school any that with me you don't [TS]

  mean that my whole thing i do have kind [TS]

  of walking through the day I'm thinking [TS]

  about to have the ad spots right I got [TS]

  none of these things are difficult but [TS]

  like it doesn't take that its kind of [TS]

  fault intolerant or like if i do [TS]

  something as simple as forget to put the [TS]

  retainers in the backpack like that [TS]

  really screws up this one part of the [TS]

  date not irretrievably bad but you know [TS]

  even when everything runs perfectly it's [TS]

  still kind of a pain in the ass [TS]

  yeah but you know i'm on my way I'm [TS]

  doing my thing that says all getting me [TS]

  back to a really dumb point I didn't [TS]

  even really need to make which is my [TS]

  phone rings how do you feel about your [TS]

  phone ringing in the morning [TS]

  oh I hate when my phone rings only it [TS]

  could only be bad news [TS]

  yes that's that's how they get you [TS]

  yeah so I'm sitting there and of course [TS]

  it's an instant used to be when you got [TS]

  let's just say nuisance calls or [TS]

  unwanted calls it was almost always from [TS]

  unknown or from blocked or from whatever [TS]

  which I felt perfectly fine just ignore [TS]

  it go to voicemail in technology i don't [TS]

  know if you get this with the 206 i get [TS]

  this with a 415 well get one coming in [TS]

  with actually shocking shockingly close [TS]

  to my own phone number i'm like oh god [TS]

  yeah I can't not pick this up and then I [TS]

  start fighting myself because I'm going [TS]

  you know is this is this is a leucine [TS]

  the football all over again [TS]

  I know I know it's going to be a [TS]

  robocall about credit cards or mortgages [TS]

  or whatever and I fight myself when I [TS]

  find myself but now my heart starts [TS]

  beating because I'm like what am I gonna [TS]

  do what I do so I let it go to voicemail [TS]

  I go in google phone number this is [TS]

  always the first thing I do before I [TS]

  pick up any call right make sense i've [TS]

  done it at yeah its credit card thing [TS]

  it's a fake credit card scam thing [TS]

  yeah but now i'm already little bit off [TS]

  my game [TS]

  because now I have to stop what I'm [TS]

  doing stare at the phone get anxious and [TS]

  then go search google i realize this [TS]

  very clearly illustrates what a fragile [TS]

  person i am because like that's already [TS]

  throwing me off my game now you know [TS]

  that's the kind of thing where like [TS]

  that'sthat's it's not dissimilar from [TS]

  the male and female which is like in [TS]

  this is this the shade into my former [TS]

  profession as a retired productivity [TS]

  guru such as long as there is anything [TS]

  anywhere that you might need to know [TS]

  about [TS]

  you've got a friend about it a little [TS]

  bit yeah I'm it's also you know we do [TS]

  buddy [TS]

  every every afternoon early evening i go [TS]

  down and there's a giant pile of safeway [TS]

  flyers [TS]

  yeah I our mail slot and you know what I [TS]

  gotta do I gotta pick up and look [TS]

  through every safeway flyer to be sure [TS]

  that we're not changing their name or [TS]

  whatever likely that make sure it's not [TS]

  a piece of real mail that got sand into [TS]

  the safeway flyer i feel like every year [TS]

  the degree to which I am just slightly [TS]

  over my budget my yearly budget [TS]

  yeah is is down to the fact that I threw [TS]

  away a couple of really big checks that [TS]

  were talking into a safeway flyer i [TS]

  think about it a lot you know where it's [TS]

  like well if I just had 10,000 more [TS]

  dollars and I bet you about you I did [TS]

  yepp baby it was just in there with the [TS]

  with this the cheap steaks right and [TS]

  make our body even though I'm feeling [TS]

  really seasons coming at ya [TS]

  I you know I for a long time I didn't [TS]

  ever put my phone number and address in [TS]

  any kind of you know if i was at the [TS]

  doctor if I was at the pharmacy or if I [TS]

  was at the airline and they said you [TS]

  know put your name and address and phone [TS]

  number i would like always try to not [TS]

  and then increasingly websites were like [TS]

  that's required its required we need [TS]

  your phone number because what if the [TS]

  reservation changes we need your phone [TS]

  number because but typically between I [TS]

  know exactly what you're saying then you [TS]

  see them is required for what [TS]

  yeah but it's like I like to say [TS]

  sometimes when I'm being a pill is i'll [TS]

  say okay is that a law a rural a policy [TS]

  or a suggestion [TS]

  yeah because those mean very different [TS]

  things to me I don't think that's [TS]

  actually a law that's a request that [TS]

  you're gonna try and play off legit [TS]

  actually gonna use to fuck me [TS]

  but if you're doing it online and you [TS]

  don't [TS]

  fill out there things that will let you [TS]

  go to the next page right enjoys you up [TS]

  and it's like that there's a little [TS]

  arrow there pointing at where your phone [TS]

  needs to go and so you you get pushed [TS]

  into this posture like okay I guess you [TS]

  know I listen I would rather drive to [TS]

  the airport and find my flight had been [TS]

  cancelled and turn around and go home [TS]

  that I would give you my phone number [TS]

  airline but they require so you put it [TS]

  in and so eventually I stopped I stop [TS]

  being such a stickler about it because [TS]

  they started to feel like this is just a [TS]

  new thing you have to do [TS]

  put your phone number well used to be [TS]

  used to be some security numbers [TS]

  remember like when that was your student [TS]

  ID or that's what you just used for [TS]

  anything [TS]

  login using your social security number [TS]

  i don't know well I prefer not to but if [TS]

  that's the system I guess I better use [TS]

  it when I have a for me [TS]

  we used to use our social security [TS]

  numbers all the time I haven't put my [TS]

  social security number in anything for [TS]

  years [TS]

  amazon is only student ID and it was on [TS]

  everyone i had to clean up some stuff [TS]

  for my mom's house a few years back it [TS]

  was on pretty much every sheet of paper [TS]

  that my college gave me [TS]

  yeah it was how you prove to work it was [TS]

  your student it was like this equals [TS]

  equals you but so I got a prescription [TS]

  filled in New Yorker in Baltimore [TS]

  something like that a walgreens and they [TS]

  wanted my phone number and now I swear [TS]

  to you every month I get a robocall from [TS]

  a new york area code and generally [TS]

  anybody anyway that's called me from New [TS]

  York on the phone is somebody that's I [TS]

  presume calling to say hey we've got an [TS]

  opportunity here for us to use one of [TS]

  your songs in buffy the vampire slayer [TS]

  spin-off and we just need your approval [TS]

  right now because it's going to be a [TS]

  hundred and fifty thousand dollars and [TS]

  please call me back and so I get these [TS]

  new york area code is that you want to [TS]

  what is that [TS]

  yeah 2127 640 or whatever it is I don't [TS]

  remember but i but I recognize them in [TS]

  the moment and I it's got me like six [TS]

  times i pick it up and it's like hi it's [TS]

  time to refill your prescription at the [TS]

  Brooklyn walgreens but died a thousand [TS]

  deaths [TS]

  I don't know who to I don't know who now [TS]

  know what or how or who I could ever do [TS]

  to get this to stop doing this right [TS]

  it's just right away but wait how do i [TS]

  unsubscribe you can't well and it's like [TS]

  it's also that feeling of helplessness [TS]

  we're like well if you know it back in [TS]

  the day when we used to think like [TS]

  somebody telemarketer will call you so [TS]

  you buy mother do not call this please [TS]

  remove me from the list but in the case [TS]

  of your phone number i guess like you're [TS]

  so Security's got into so many places we [TS]

  like how would you even know where to [TS]

  begin [TS]

  you know like you got a robocall sorting [TS]

  a match on numbers for several minutes [TS]

  let him know that you don't know how [TS]

  happy you'll engage with a random phone [TS]

  call because you know that's data that's [TS]

  data private data when they when they [TS]

  call you up and the 1i get frequently is [TS]

  this is an important call about your [TS]

  current credit card there's not a [TS]

  problem the car but this is their last [TS]

  opportunity to be leading it's the same [TS]

  one every time and they're like you got [TS]

  press 2 or whatever to continue and of [TS]

  course i guess some kind of button is [TS]

  not hooked up to anything to say you [TS]

  want off it but like all that does is [TS]

  this is how publishers clearing house [TS]

  works right i mean i knew this 20 years [TS]

  ago like the right way publishers [TS]

  clearing house works is you get on [TS]

  increasingly more execrable list list [TS]

  depending on how many pictures of the [TS]

  Buick you pasted into the publishers [TS]

  clearing house we got a live one here [TS]

  there this will fill out a picture now [TS]

  you're pre-qualified yeah no I'm [TS]

  pre-qualified for everything Merlin if i [TS]

  wanted to i could buy i could buy a [TS]

  Gulfstream jet because i have been [TS]

  pre-qualified up to 100 million dollars [TS]

  huh [TS]

  but uh but it's 29 % APR financing [TS]

  first-years free standard pretty [TS]

  standard yeah it's just boilerplate [TS]

  stuff related sign the sign right here [TS]

  I've been getting a thing lately in the [TS]

  actual mail heavy bond beautiful [TS]

  photographs of a thing where what is it [TS]

  from its not the hilton hotel because [TS]

  i'm on their permanent black West but it [TS]

  might be the shit [TS]

  cher tune sorry star with me it's not [TS]

  starwood because that i know and i know [TS]

  enough to throw everything that has the [TS]

  word starwood on it right into the [TS]

  shredder is that right but it's um it's [TS]

  it's like it's a legitimate enterprise [TS]

  right it's something nice genuinely nice [TS]

  like I don't know if I would call sharon [TS]

  that but it's not something like that [TS]

  where you're like this is I'm looking [TS]

  I'm flipping this around i'm reading the [TS]

  fine print very carefully to see where [TS]

  it says that I'm gonna have to sit for [TS]

  an hour in a timeshare right meeting I [TS]

  don't see any of that and i'm looking at [TS]

  this thing and basically what it is is [TS]

  like a airfare and hotel to Maui for [TS]

  seven days seven nights I guess any days [TS]

  all in for you know for low low price of [TS]

  795 dollars [TS]

  I'm like this is insane this seems like [TS]

  a really good deal and you know I'm [TS]

  turning it over and over looking at it [TS]

  like what's the catch what's the catch [TS]

  and in every you know at every point [TS]

  even the little micro wording of things [TS]

  where a catch could be hidden the micro [TS]

  wording of this thing is worded in such [TS]

  a way that there's no no catch their [TS]

  right either they are either they are [TS]

  just bald ass lying dallas and you show [TS]

  up and when you are standing at the [TS]

  front desk they do that thing where [TS]

  they're like oh I'm sorry there are no [TS]

  double rooms available and i will wait [TS]

  am I now I know you just bracing you're [TS]

  just like you're just one big knot and [TS]

  anxiety waiting to find out how to get [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah like oh sorry the only rooms that [TS]

  apply to this plan are one full-size bed [TS]

  or whatever I'm like I'm your three [TS]

  people but so i'm reading this thing I'm [TS]

  like I can figure out the catch struck [TS]

  me crazy this seems like a good deal but [TS]

  it but I don't want to be I don't want [TS]

  to be the 75 year old was like sounds [TS]

  like a great deal and you buy it [TS]

  and then they're taking four dollars a [TS]

  month out of your account and then when [TS]

  I really looked at it I was like oh wait [TS]

  a minute this is still like a hundred [TS]

  and twenty dollars a day [TS]

  yeah right it's not you have gotten that [TS]

  deal i got that deal one time where [TS]

  there's a semi popular sort of like in [TS]

  the days before we knew about things [TS]

  like Max fun Cruz joko cruise this guy [TS]

  was really active in trouble for this [TS]

  this guy was very actively trying to get [TS]

  me to go on this cruise for people who [TS]

  are somewhat notable with regard to a [TS]

  certain computer platform with Rahu and [TS]

  he was really like this is your family [TS]

  going to go it's gonna be amazing and i [TS]

  did when i did the math on it was like [TS]

  any sea cruise you mean Star Trek thing [TS]

  wasn't any see that was the appropriate [TS]

  platform or the jack the neck and yes I [TS]

  think it's the Nintendo oh and yes no [TS]

  didn't it would cost me about ten [TS]

  thousand dollars to go on the cruise [TS]

  once i figured it all out I mean you [TS]

  know it's like nobody is going to send [TS]

  you something nice bond paper that's [TS]

  actually good for you right and fighters [TS]

  have farmed the thicker the bond the [TS]

  harder the screw finger the bond you [TS]

  find out any see computer [TS]

  am I crazy here no I think that's a [TS]

  that's a thing [TS]

  national electronic computer company or [TS]

  something [TS]

  NEC global oh yeah look at the mall NEC [TS]

  sure sure sure sure I wasn't sure [TS]

  story checks out there some computers [TS]

  yeah yeah I'm so i have to say i still [TS]

  have this brochure are my on my table [TS]

  even though it expired on march 15 [TS]

  because I'm still just I'm turning it [TS]

  over and over my hands like did I miss [TS]

  an opportunity here or is this is this [TS]

  like such a a great con job such a total [TS]

  screw job like what you what you don't [TS]

  want you don't want a situation where [TS]

  here's this big hotel in Malley and [TS]

  they're just under capacity and they're [TS]

  just trying to do this to get rid of [TS]

  this [TS]

  at these excess rooms right and the [TS]

  rooms are just as beautiful as they are [TS]

  on as they are shown to be on this on [TS]

  this brochure and I'm not interrupting [TS]

  but you were very much aware that this [TS]

  is a real phenomenon when it comes to [TS]

  flight where you've all read the [TS]

  articles about how every person on that [TS]

  plane paid something different one [TS]

  person on that plane paid one tenth of [TS]

  the price for a coach ticket somebody [TS]

  else did not a real thing involving [TS]

  capacity supply and demand right right [TS]

  so don't seem out of the imagination [TS]

  that this would be a real thing when i [TS]

  went on what I was flying back from the [TS]

  Joker's there were some people there in [TS]

  the economy comfort area and i'm not i'm [TS]

  not above saying that I i fly economy [TS]

  comfort when I can and there was it's [TS]

  like economy plus like a slightly bigger [TS]

  chair and has been another chair and you [TS]

  know and and there were a couple they're [TS]

  coming back from the cruise and they in [TS]

  their loudest voices were like oh my god [TS]

  we had no seat assignment until we got [TS]

  here at the airport and then they just [TS]

  put us here in these in these chairs at [TS]

  in the front row like their economy [TS]

  comfort seats were even better than mine [TS]

  and they were like we only paid a [TS]

  hundred twenty-five dollars from for [TS]

  this whole flight from expedia.com dot [TS]

  org and everyone else in the plane you [TS]

  know had those uh have those like Tom [TS]

  and Jerry knives coming out of their [TS]

  eyes at them like ok great for you shut [TS]

  up sit down stop it you're making me [TS]

  feel awful [TS]

  they're like we got a hundred and twenty [TS]

  dollars and they just put us right here [TS]

  in seats 1a and 2a not cool not cool [TS]

  like Tom and Jerry nice um commentary [TS]

  knives [TS]

  yeah no no let's make it in don't worry [TS]

  but what about whatever it was the butt [TS]

  of the big bad wolf [TS]

  how do you feel about the big bad wolf I [TS]

  just said that the whole like kind of [TS]

  post Red Riding Hood idea [TS]

  yeah where the big bad wolf became like [TS]

  a trope we're all of a sudden they're [TS]

  big bad wolves [TS]

  everywhere oh yes you got separated from [TS]

  red robin hood [TS]

  oh yeah you got me thinking about red [TS]

  riding hood as being important because [TS]

  like that's a story lots of kids here [TS]

  you old you think about it you realize [TS]

  it's probably about sexual assault and [TS]

  then you get cartoons where there's a [TS]

  lot of wolves you got a certain kind of [TS]

  wolf in a zoot suit was checking out [TS]

  ladies see right whose tongue and [TS]

  eyeballs come out of his head when i [TS]

  checked Jones wolf my arm my lying or [TS]

  the same kind of wolf that might think [TS]

  you look at the pork chop [TS]

  right right right that'll happen a wolf [TS]

  that goes through a wall and he's a wolf [TS]

  shaped hole that'll happen what I think [TS]

  about the wolf I I don't have a super [TS]

  strong feeling about it [TS]

  we have not been a big fairy tale family [TS]

  I feel like it's been a little bit of a [TS]

  failing interesting now I've tried I [TS]

  tried because there's a beloved readers [TS]

  digest readers digest book of fairy [TS]

  tales that I grew up with little pencil [TS]

  checkmarks next each one the we dread [TS]

  yeah and my daughter wasn't into it I so [TS]

  i've i've been trying I feel the same [TS]

  obligation because you know between my [TS]

  mom and me right she's just close enough [TS]

  to the generation of my dad obviously [TS]

  was for all intensive purposes of [TS]

  Victorian where that was the only [TS]

  entertainment you had was reading [TS]

  registered kipling and Grimm's fairy [TS]

  tales huh [TS]

  because it was still plausible day hey [TS]

  that nobody knew how the nobody knew how [TS]

  their run our Scottish scales but also [TS]

  that a that there were still women who [TS]

  would make you into a cake and like it [TS]

  just in your neighborhood and so so i've [TS]

  been i've started to read some of that [TS]

  stuff to my daughter and the other day I [TS]

  read her i mean i was explaining like [TS]

  the boy who cried wolf and very quickly [TS]

  she became known as The Girl Who Cried [TS]

  al because there is a we have had a real [TS]

  escalation lately in the word how oh all [TS]

  we went through this where it's not [TS]

  exactly a fake injury but it's more like [TS]

  the reaction proceed the actual feeling [TS]

  yeah somebody pulls out a hairbrush and [TS]

  she's like oh falls to the floor you [TS]

  know [TS]

  and it's like are you being the girl who [TS]

  cried out and and her eyes light up [TS]

  because she understands the boy who [TS]

  cried wolf [TS]

  she got that and now she realizes you [TS]

  know we have to we've changed it we've [TS]

  it's a that now it's a metaphor and [TS]

  she's the she's the girl cried out and [TS]

  it's I've actually found it to be very [TS]

  effective in defusing these like our [TS]

  storms [TS]

  yeah sure I'd makes a lot of sense i've [TS]

  heard people say similar things to end [TS]

  up in a contemporary context with the [TS]

  the movie inside out [TS]

  I think it's probably very frequently [TS]

  exaggerated that's ok but now I know [TS]

  exactly what you mean when you have a [TS]

  way to see like that's the beauty of a [TS]

  fable you know Scorpion and the Frog [TS]

  it's like one of the greatest stories of [TS]

  all time [TS]

  nothing describes the situation better [TS]

  than the Scorpion and the Frog of the [TS]

  Scorpion and the Frog what that would [TS]

  have won a mismatched pair you remember [TS]

  that story I have no idea i I thought [TS]

  you were making it up there's a real [TS]

  Scorpion and the Frog story always the [TS]

  Scorpion rides the Frog make it as quick [TS]

  as I can the Scorpion says hey look i [TS]

  need to get across the river and won't [TS]

  sting you [TS]

  but yeah it's so just give me a ride on [TS]

  your back the Foxes look if I put you on [TS]

  my back you know going to sting me [TS]

  yeah but flash forward to get halfway [TS]

  through the scorpion stings the Frog [TS]

  yeah they're gonna dice which do you [TS]

  said you were going to me said what you [TS]

  would expect from a scorpion [TS]

  yeah I always i think in Alaska that was [TS]

  a that was the moose in the peregrine [TS]

  falcon or something we had a rather than [TS]

  we didn't have scorpions or frogs it [TS]

  didn't make any sense to have seen [TS]

  little exotic yeah I was something was [TS]

  something more more normal like you know [TS]

  the musk ox and the and the and the [TS]

  wolverine what do you expect i'm a [TS]

  Wolverine why did you tear me up [TS]

  does she ask you to the she like when [TS]

  she asked you to read something if [TS]

  you're comfortable saying what kind of [TS]

  stuff did she ask you to read this does [TS]

  she like fables and fairytales [TS]

  mm so we go to we buy most of our books [TS]

  at the thrift store and so we go over to [TS]

  the children's book area and she plopped [TS]

  herself down and immediately starts [TS]

  pulling out every book that has a huge [TS]

  alien i guide your garbage princess and [TS]

  she's like look it's Dora look it's bit [TS]

  Cinderella look at you know all this [TS]

  stuff again tonight and I referred or [TS]

  simply as the yelling show ya the [TS]

  yelling show i care is a girl with a [TS]

  wedge haircut that's going to yell at [TS]

  you and then [TS]

  stare at you wait my hand some much and [TS]

  she pulls this stuff out of the out of [TS]

  the shows because it's exotic to write [TS]

  this isn't stuff that she's allowed to [TS]

  have so she's just like oh my God look [TS]

  at this it's so amazing it's like a it's [TS]

  like a comic book where Barbie talks [TS]

  about products that you can buy you feel [TS]

  like you really feel sometimes like [TS]

  you're buying an ad [TS]

  yeah looks like you're basically [TS]

  purchasing a pamphlet that's an add [TS]

  those Barbie books where it's like oh I [TS]

  didn't know what to do about a computer [TS]

  so then came and and I was busy [TS]

  repairing my broken fingernail walk-in [TS]

  solve my problems like I would rather [TS]

  put her in isolation tank and play her [TS]

  the first episode of lost that i would [TS]

  buy any one of these garbage books [TS]

  social but she's down on the floor [TS]

  pulling this stuff out and just just [TS]

  like like a like she's been lost in the [TS]

  desert her whole life and someone's [TS]

  given her a glass of cold water like [TS]

  she's just she's consuming this as fast [TS]

  as she can because she knows that it's [TS]

  not going to last and I'm up still in [TS]

  the children's book section thumbing [TS]

  through them looking for titles I [TS]

  recognized from my own childhood so I'm [TS]

  like oh look here you know [TS]

  look here marlo it's the book about [TS]

  you're not my mother where the little [TS]

  bird loses its mother and decides that [TS]

  maybe a steam steam tractor which by [TS]

  this drawing we can clearly tell that [TS]

  this book was was made in 1940 and I and [TS]

  it was already an anachronism when i was [TS]

  reading it like look at this and I show [TS]

  it to her she's just like no princesses [TS]

  there's nothing fun about this book at [TS]

  somebody's know it has no as they see [TS]

  with automobiles has no curb appeal [TS]

  there's no curb appeal but which book [TS]

  goes into the shopping cart daddy's book [TS]

  about i mean i bought a book about a [TS]

  book for her the other day which is a [TS]

  comic I mean it's a cartoon book but [TS]

  it's a story of a little girl whose [TS]

  whose rabbi in Poland gives his ticket [TS]

  to her to put her on the boat to go to [TS]

  America [TS]

  and she goes to America and works the [TS]

  seamstress in order to save up enough [TS]

  money to buy a ticket for her aging [TS]

  grandmother who is still living in [TS]

  Poland and it was like milking a horse [TS]

  look at that survived this is right up [TS]

  your alley and i'm reading this story to [TS]

  her and like tears are streaming down my [TS]

  cheeks because a beautiful book [TS]

  yeah and it's the story of America sure [TS]

  and the you know the illustrations are [TS]

  good but its limits Barry it's touching [TS]

  and checking his and she loves the book [TS]

  now because you know it's a book that [TS]

  everytime daddy reads that he starts [TS]

  crying about the about the great you [TS]

  know the Diaspora but there's not you [TS]

  know there's no there obviously no magic [TS]

  in it no princess not a lot of pink and [TS]

  purple [TS]

  no well there's you know the princess is [TS]

  basically in a lower east side sweatshop [TS]

  sewing wedding dresses in order to get [TS]

  get the 40 shekels to go buy a trip on [TS]

  the Lusitania for grandmother so she [TS]

  doesn't have to drink horses milking [TS]

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by Casper to [TS]

  learn more right now please visit Casper [TS]

  calm / supertrain oh this is so easy to [TS]

  understand you gotta get one of these [TS]

  things get a Casper because Casper [TS]

  offers and obsessively engineered [TS]

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  nights and brighter days i have been [TS]

  using a Casper mattress i have literally [TS]

  been sleeping on a Casper mattress for [TS]

  over a year now i love it i love the [TS]

  quality this product but you know what [TS]

  even over a year later I just love how [TS]

  easy this company is to deal with how [TS]

  painless they have made this entire [TS]

  process which used to be excruciating [TS]

  if you've ever had to go into a retail [TS]

  mattress store and lay down on that [TS]

  mattress that all those other strangers [TS]

  of late on that is no way to decide how [TS]

  you want to spend a third of your life [TS]

  with Casper it's so much easier [TS]

  when you order your casper mattresses a [TS]

  surprisingly small box magically appears [TS]

  at your door and you can carry it up to [TS]

  your room in the box by yourself a [TS]

  little because he used to open up a bag [TS]

  this mattress expands it inhales whoo [TS]

  not a creepy way but in a really cool [TS]

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  night's sleep it's not easy it's that [TS]

  simple [TS]

  here's the crazy part because I know it [TS]

  sounds a little bananas to buy a [TS]

  mattress on the Internet [TS]

  I'll give you that but the thing is [TS]

  Casper has a risk-free trial and return [TS]

  policy [TS]

  you can try sleeping on your cast for [TS]

  mattress for 100 nights and if for some [TS]

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  delivery it's painless returns it's made [TS]

  in America and sleep glorious sleep [TS]

  these prices are crazy town banana pants [TS]

  mattresses starting at five hundred [TS]

  dollars for a twin 954 king that's what [TS]

  I have because I am much like a king and [TS]

  i like to really spread out on top of it [TS]

  all Castro has a special offer to [TS]

  listeners of Roderick on the line you [TS]

  get fifty dollars toward any mattress [TS]

  purchase by using the offer code [TS]

  supertrain when you visit Casper calm / [TS]

  supertrain terms and conditions apply [TS]

  but you gotta try this out go to Casper [TS]

  calm / supertrain our thanks to Casper [TS]

  for so many great nights sleep and for [TS]

  supporting Roderick on the lines and [TS]

  there's no nickelodeon show for that [TS]

  right now [TS]

  no there's no other there's not a single [TS]

  song in it except you know except [TS]

  dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel [TS]

  trail and so anyway this is the this is [TS]

  the culture that I'm inflicting on her [TS]

  and what we went to a far restaurant [TS]

  last night they had a big screen TV on [TS]

  the wall and it was playing the latest [TS]

  iteration of the blue / TV bloopers show [TS]

  all sure yeah yeah the whole steps that [TS]

  I don't think that's ever really gone [TS]

  away between the the home videos and the [TS]

  bloopers there is always something there [TS]

  and this is I think home the home videos [TS]

  it's just basically show people getting [TS]

  kicked in the crotch rub your balls [TS]

  getting shot into the air and the and [TS]

  let the host of it is the smarmy guy [TS]

  from fresh prince of bel-air like rich [TS]

  son of the other guy the other guy from [TS]

  The Fresh Prince of bel-air who I have [TS]

  to say has not aged a day like he looks [TS]

  incredible [TS]

  so he was like a smaller guy with a [TS]

  mustache that's right smaller guy with a [TS]

  Muslim guy but he's nice and he seems [TS]

  nice and he comes out he's like alright [TS]

  another here's another bunch of people [TS]

  getting hit in the crotch all right [TS]

  let's go [TS]

  this this parrot is crazy it drinks milk [TS]

  and it's and it swears like a sailor and [TS]

  so this is on the team [TS]

  and you could have put firecrackers in [TS]

  your ears and you wouldn't have gotten [TS]

  any response from her she was just [TS]

  completely in the world of bloopers and [TS]

  a lot of them didn't even get the [TS]

  blooper right like somebody just got hit [TS]

  in the crotch and she's like I don't get [TS]

  it but this year we have exactly the [TS]

  same experience I have a thought on this [TS]

  so you know that look so like as with [TS]

  the princess properties it is it is an [TS]

  overused analogy but it's not precisely [TS]

  crack but it's extremely attractive to [TS]

  kids because science right there using [TS]

  all the means all the same way that they [TS]

  would try to make Don Corleone son look [TS]

  better for the funeral [TS]

  they're using all of their powers [TS]

  calling upon all the powers to make this [TS]

  as appealing as possible to little kids [TS]

  so we got to you know that little diner [TS]

  by our house and of course it's usually [TS]

  like premier league soccer or golf or [TS]

  whatever on [TS]

  yeah and she is or infomercial they [TS]

  might have an infomercial channel on [TS]

  because there are channels for [TS]

  infomercials she is wrapped the entire [TS]

  time you know what here's my thought on [TS]

  this [TS]

  I think it's basically headline news for [TS]

  children it's the same concept why do [TS]

  adults [TS]

  why do adults stare slack-jawed at that [TS]

  screen in the airport i think is the [TS]

  transitions it's the music it's the [TS]

  noise it's it's a little motion graphics [TS]

  I think that was your role at the bottom [TS]

  and no one knows what it means right and [TS]

  i think that's all extreme they know [TS]

  that that is extremely attractive to a [TS]

  certain kind of feeble mind and I think [TS]

  that's what they do with children with [TS]

  these put these programs [TS]

  yeah yeah I uh I i asked her one time [TS]

  because we're sitting we go to an irish [TS]

  restaurant every once in awhile because [TS]

  daddy likes a corned beef and cabin and [TS]

  let me to let me tell you an irish [TS]

  restaurant has very little appeal to [TS]

  children because I mean everyone else in [TS]

  there is is his red faced drunk now I [TS]

  know that's racist [TS]

  that's that's who goes I don't think you [TS]

  can be racist against the Irish well you [TS]

  used to be able to it was one of the big [TS]

  kind that's true that's true the [TS]

  different Irish need not apply [TS]

  yeah that's what the that's the whole [TS]

  premise behind de Molay in the knights [TS]

  of columbus keep you know my mom was a [TS]

  rainbow girl really and her quote [TS]

  unquote boyfriend was in team LA now all [TS]

  of that stuff was just to keep [TS]

  Catholics out is that right yeah yeah [TS]

  those don't think I think knights of [TS]

  columbus and was like the Ku Klux Klan [TS]

  of Catholics even though the Ku Klux [TS]

  clam of its kind of like I don't need [TS]

  you to dance [TS]

  yeah yeah it's for you to dance videos [TS]

  but i can see and I have always had a [TS]

  hell of a baseball team they were all of [TS]

  the toughest opponents for everybody [TS]

  KFC you know they are because they are [TS]

  because baseball is how you defeat the [TS]

  Catholics is that is that right [TS]

  how far back does that go to the [TS]

  invention of baseball that's why they [TS]

  invented it so it was even if that's so [TS]

  interesting to me so it starts in [TS]

  England they got cricket not many [TS]

  Catholics you come up with this idea of [TS]

  baseball and that's going to be a way to [TS]

  find out what the Catholics in their [TS]

  place the ball is the Pope there's only [TS]

  one think about it it's white [TS]

  msu question does the ball ever get [TS]

  thrown out of a game know the ball is [TS]

  infallible the ball is infallible the [TS]

  ball just keeps going around and around [TS]

  and around huh [TS]

  and every once in a while the umpire who [TS]

  is the College of Cardinals takes a [TS]

  dirty ball out of play and fifty [TS]

  different parish [TS]

  yep and then all you do is so this is [TS]

  the thing when you're watching a [TS]

  baseball game look for the white smoke [TS]

  ok if it's great smoky still have time [TS]

  to go to bathroom get hot they stop [TS]

  selling at usually like seventh-inning [TS]

  you can get a beer anymore and also most [TS]

  people aren't doing anything I hardly at [TS]

  all and then sometimes one person moves [TS]

  a little bit [TS]

  yep right that's right there a lot of [TS]

  kids at the game 20 tradition and family [TS]

  tradition family tradition and family [TS]

  this is rach for Catholics John well so [TS]

  and if it is it's Catholic crack that's [TS]

  how to get them in and then that's how [TS]

  ultimately he'll be defeated [TS]

  that's still unclear yeah it's a it's a [TS]

  long game John a very long game not sure [TS]

  how Pete Rose factors into it either but [TS]

  I remember is I met him twice you met [TS]

  Pete Rose twice [TS]

  Wow to be sorry anything for you yeah he [TS]

  signed the insides anything and just got [TS]

  a famous for that the two times before [TS]

  the disgrace [TS]

  oh no this is this is circa nineteen [TS]

  seventy-six this is a big red machine [TS]

  era [TS]

  Wow [TS]

  you just because you were in ohio can we [TS]

  just see the Reds around town you would [TS]

  just go one of the times I saw and [TS]

  briefly met Pete Rose was at a [TS]

  restaurant called Johnny bench's home [TS]

  plate right over there at the northgate [TS]

  mall in Colerain Avenue I know about it [TS]

  yep yep yep i know i've told my people a [TS]

  story before you have but i but I wanted [TS]

  everybody else to enjoy it too but we [TS]

  should probably stay focused on the [TS]

  Catholics it's a good story though right [TS]

  right I'll take all y'all tell you the [TS]

  punchline of the story is when Pete Rose [TS]

  says oh yeah he's the one with the [TS]

  daughter that don't got no arm the don't [TS]

  got no arms that's right that's right [TS]

  sorry I do remember but when i go to be [TS]

  47 things that of all the things you [TS]

  could say in your restaurant that you [TS]

  own called Pete Rose's that you would be [TS]

  sitting there to table little boy come [TS]

  up of all the things that would come out [TS]

  of your mouth [TS]

  he's the one who's his his his file card [TS]

  on the on that on that scout for the Ace [TS]

  was that his daughter had a birth defect [TS]

  is is daughter it ain't got no warm [TS]

  isn't the data that income no harm [TS]

  yeah yeah well as it is a simple yet [TS]

  different times simple man but a [TS]

  possible there's a lot of his way there [TS]

  so I'm sorry SI just to close it out a [TS]

  lot of baseball players we can let's [TS]

  just be honest they come from Central [TS]

  and South America very Catholic country [TS]

  nowadays [TS]

  yeah right i mean it's been everything [TS]

  is changing everything is changing its a [TS]

  Catholic game it used to be a game [TS]

  against the Catholic rather taken aback [TS]

  that's our term don't say queer that's [TS]

  our turn now we're taking it back [TS]

  that's right bass ball mounts Catholic [TS]

  game what you gonna do about Addie Molay [TS]

  yeah that's right [TS]

  nobody gonna do have a dance yeah right [TS]

  are you going to go sit in your secret [TS]

  Club plot against Catholics too late too [TS]

  late taking over taking over the USA [TS]

  Oh doctor right now we still have a [TS]

  Catholic president though [TS]

  oh no we did just the one that's the one [TS]

  just one yeah famously famously in [TS]

  retrospect that is an incredibly big [TS]

  deal [TS]

  it wasn't the time young like when you [TS]

  really think about it now like what an [TS]

  incredibly big deal when think about [TS]

  what was last time you heard of the [TS]

  knights of columbus not since 1978 when [TS]

  they would paste our ass every saturday [TS]

  baseball paste are asked what a nice [TS]

  Ohio phrase that is [TS]

  that's how we would measure it tastes [TS]

  are ass [TS]

  well case ah outpaced is your ass pretty [TS]

  tasty so pasted white as paste we would [TS]

  go into this we go into this irish [TS]

  restaurant or beef and cabbage [TS]

  restaurant and they have tvs all around [TS]

  everyone this I support this actually [TS]

  TVs each one turn tuned to a different [TS]

  sport is basketball TV there's a curling [TS]

  TV there's something to distract [TS]

  something to distract everyone that's [TS]

  right you pick that you pick where you [TS]

  want to sit in this restaurant based on [TS]

  what sport you want to be assaulted by [TS]

  so we go and sit in this place and she's [TS]

  just looking around just her head [TS]

  spinning all these sports none of which [TS]

  has daddy made any attempt to explain [TS]

  and at one point I was like you're [TS]

  watching these games so intently what's [TS]

  your favorite sport and without even [TS]

  without even a moment of hesitation she [TS]

  was like hockey [TS]

  no kidding is that hockey huh well i'm [TS]

  raising a hockey fan like I can't think [TS]

  of a I can't think of a thing either [TS]

  would have surprised me more i was and i [TS]

  think Eileen it was like are you sure [TS]

  you don't like curling I'll be [TS]

  hornswoggled [TS]

  how did she even know what is what it's [TS]

  called i think that at one point I went [TS]

  around the room and I was like baseball [TS]

  football hockey basketball you know the [TS]

  other one's self explanatory skiing [TS]

  obviously and curling who doesn't know [TS]

  what that is [TS]

  sure but she watches and I think the [TS]

  pace and the fact that hockey players [TS]

  are are so elegantly skating [TS]

  I mean I think it has an appeal to her [TS]

  i'm not sure if she's if she's aware of [TS]

  the of the violence [TS]

  maybe I mean you know i bought it for [TS]

  her birthday but a full suit of armor [TS]

  nice yeah because because she keeps she [TS]

  keeps picking up swords at thrift stores [TS]

  and saying my sword is ready to kill [TS]

  well whose fault is that well I feel [TS]

  like it's a chain mail order together [TS]

  like full plate armor [TS]

  yeah breastplates and a shield and [TS]

  helmet you feeling that something should [TS]

  have to earn our three campaigns I feel [TS]

  like that she has campaigned an awful [TS]

  lot [TS]

  she's you know the the big [TS]

  takeaway for her upcoming loop and 23 [TS]

  which is one of four movies she seen was [TS]

  that you use come through on daddy [TS]

  oh god yes and so a lot of kungfu [TS]

  happening a lot of every every takeaway [TS]

  of a story where there's magic involved [TS]

  is that this now is Magic that you can [TS]

  use on Danny and so between using magic [TS]

  on me and comforting me and killing me [TS]

  as as every single dragon or bati i just [TS]

  realized that she had a bloodlust [TS]

  yeah I'm and I want her to start killing [TS]

  people that aren't daddy [TS]

  by which I mean orcs orcs is just for [TS]

  thinking to mind bugbears be a good [TS]

  place to start to but bears are that's a [TS]

  bear has a lot of hit points and a [TS]

  bugbear like a first-level engine kind [TS]

  of thing [TS]

  oh yeah yes so this chopper but Baron [TS]

  dork i don't but bugbears are more [TS]

  unusual than works [TS]

  what about that racist to say a bug [TS]

  bears more unusual than Rourke I'm using [TS]

  all work for the same know obviously [TS]

  there are the rock I who are big tough [TS]

  works [TS]

  I don't know what that is you got me on [TS]

  that one come on her chi mikhay I don't [TS]

  know that well there-there there-there [TS]

  the super the the Solomon orcs good [TS]

  works that is Lord of the Rings York's [TS]

  it's arman makes him is it is a fact is [TS]

  or oh ok alright I get it I get in there [TS]

  kinda like Tolkien stormtroopers yeah [TS]

  yeah the wall you give me the Rings to [TS]

  the orcs John to work the risk it rings [TS]

  I know that rings you got you got elves [TS]

  got rings humans got rings the door [TS]

  Scott rings some people got bring some [TS]

  people didn't get rings right right [TS]

  I you wouldn't give it a ringtone org is [TS]

  throwing good money after bad but I [TS]

  think the thing about the Rings is a lot [TS]

  of different elves got rings are all [TS]

  their Elvis rings right so they didn't [TS]

  make a ring for I think the ring they [TS]

  gave the humans in the ring they gave [TS]

  the the dwarves were just like courtesy [TS]

  rings oh they're just like promotional [TS]

  rings or later the first ones they made [TS]

  the world that was like the first [TS]

  pancake [TS]

  yeah the you have to give the first [TS]

  thing to the human it's just like yeah [TS]

  they should give the humans [TS]

  Pickett's a little bit unfinished very [TS]

  well but the am you know that the [TS]

  dwarves probably provided the the gold [TS]

  give them a little bit of its kickback [TS]

  red dwarfs are minors right well see I'm [TS]

  sorry I can't be racist again our night [TS]

  I mean to other a lot of words to do a [TS]

  lot of different things that are you can [TS]

  be a pair you could be a paralegal [TS]

  computer in advance right in veterinary [TS]

  assistant Worf you know there's work at [TS]

  the post office [TS]

  we got it work at the post office [TS]

  Dorfman's gotta get somewhere you need a [TS]

  dwarf postal system there dwarves that [TS]

  are working as emissaries there i'm sure [TS]

  their diplomatic cord i think you're [TS]

  going to get the flyers from the door [TS]

  safeway at your house [TS]

  exactly there dwarves that are [TS]

  great-great-grandson of Thorin [TS]

  Oakenshield who are sort of just living [TS]

  off of their inheritance [TS]

  they're like waste droid Thorin right [TS]

  right so yeah so the I think some being [TS]

  white-bearded dwarf gotta gotta ring but [TS]

  it didn't know it was limited power ring [TS]

  i think but i think like a demo look at [TS]

  that I think I'm LMT of elves got like [TS]

  some high-powered stuff I haven't read [TS]

  the similarly and all the way through [TS]

  there around three people in my [TS]

  household two of which have read the [TS]

  hobbit there are two people in my house [TS]

  that have read talking book and I'm not [TS]

  one of them [TS]

  wait a minute 1i looking up with you [TS]

  every year so just to remind you that [TS]

  I've never read anything by talking and [TS]

  I I like one of the movies [TS]

  come on now seen others and you know I'm [TS]

  not that guy usually i normally not that [TS]

  guy just this is a fun outlier for me my [TS]

  two big outliers are i'm not super [TS]

  familiar star track and and I actually [TS]

  I've tried a little bit of Hobbit but [TS]

  the language of throws me off a little [TS]

  bit but I'm I try I try some the actual [TS]

  Hobbit Bobbit the hobbit book is easier [TS]

  right that you will start the [TS]

  silmarillion that's their metal machine [TS]

  music you know you know yet i frankly [TS]

  don't ever want to read the summary and [TS]

  you just want to have Ted Leo read it to [TS]

  you allowed that sounds so good but not [TS]

  a habit is a children's book Lord of the [TS]

  Rings is a is a masterwork but you have [TS]

  read dune you've read all 40 dune books [TS]

  know [TS]

  I read slaughterhouse five a couple [TS]

  times yeah can't wait to drink catch way [TS]

  to I think I started that may be the [TS]

  first half of that you didn't really [TS]

  catch way to all the way through [TS]

  I i skipped a lot of books then there's [TS]

  some things I've read many many times [TS]

  because of my interest in short fiction [TS]

  there are many short stories that are [TS]

  kind of my version of famous novels [TS]

  because i read in so many times did you [TS]

  read this [TS]

  the short happy life of Francis Macomber [TS]

  i did i've also read the abortion one [TS]

  yeah how about the one where they throw [TS]

  the rock so the rocks have read the [TS]

  moment the rocks if you read the one [TS]

  with the with the misfit where the [TS]

  killer family at the end that's how my [TS]

  daughter got named as i write my [TS]

  daughter's middle name comes from that [TS]

  she'd been a good woman if it had been [TS]

  somebody the shooter every minute of our [TS]

  life [TS]

  what about the rapid gets really smart [TS]

  oh I that's that movie with Michael [TS]

  Jackson song in it all the racket get [TS]

  some are you talking about talking about [TS]

  the the cockroach man yeah the rescuers [TS]

  were added rescuers were ya light on the [TS]

  background signal the great mouse [TS]

  detective I friend i've read so many of [TS]

  those so many classics that today it's [TS]

  so difficult even put your hand in these [TS]

  books because get a stream it hard to [TS]

  find [TS]

  yeah you have to stream it yet it on [TS]

  your kindle that requires that you [TS]

  upgrade the amount of storage you have [TS]

  on your dropbox yeah also john fisher [TS]

  still assigned in still signed in [TS]

  no no I left it logged me out and now I [TS]

  forget what I forget which one of the [TS]

  three passwords i use is one that I use [TS]

  for that welcome you know what what's my [TS]

  prompt was what was your clothes your [TS]

  first pet was your mother's maiden name [TS]

  oh sure thats that's hard to find out [TS]

  yeah it really is super hard to find [TS]

  that I am with your social security [TS]

  number it's right there on your college [TS]

  yeah you know our friend John turkey so [TS]

  he gives me a little bit of a little bit [TS]

  jazz because i don't actually help you [TS]

  with these things [TS]

  there's an application i can introduce [TS]

  you to that would save you a lot of [TS]

  aggravation with these things all the [TS]

  thing what I have found is that in [TS]

  situations like that what i need is to [TS]

  download another app you're missing the [TS]

  point the security questions are going [TS]

  to bite you in the ask assets like me [TS]

  ask anything about me ask me ask me ask [TS]

  me a security question okay what was the [TS]

  first time you masturbated [TS]

  lovingly ask me another one [TS]

  let's see what was the who is your least [TS]

  favorite relative ok gleefully pick a [TS]

  part of speech and use that for your [TS]

  security questions and then record them [TS]

  in the secure app never use an actual [TS]

  noun never answer with a noun answer [TS]

  with a different part of speech [TS]

  gleefully I'm pie go with adverbs i try [TS]

  to minimize my use of adverbs totally [TS]

  avoid adverbs wherever I can and then a [TS]

  thumbs up for security questions you [TS]

  know what the other trick is that's not [TS]

  my actual security answer [TS]

  boom wanna see what I just did right [TS]

  there i took in two directions at once I [TS]

  took out two different vacations but [TS]

  here's my here's my understanding of the [TS]

  problem which is that no one is no one [TS]

  is actually sitting down and trying to [TS]

  figure out your security question it's [TS]

  just some computer algorithm that's [TS]

  really just call and say you know I [TS]

  definitely John Roderick's whatever and [TS]

  i'm having trouble getting into his [TS]

  thing [TS]

  yes yes I mean the executor of his [TS]

  estate funnyman John's dead [TS]

  uh but but nobody nobody's doing that [TS]

  nobody's fishing like actually like what [TS]

  was Merlin's home childhood address i [TS]

  will not talk about this online i will [TS]

  discuss with the offline [TS]

  it's a harrowing problem is it a [TS]

  harrowing problem so heroin is a kind of [TS]

  fish right [TS]

  yep yep yep harrowing ali also you can [TS]

  get a like you get that Commodore Stuart [TS]

  Lee and Richard harrowing you can have [TS]

  all kinds of different fish fish and pin [TS]

  cushion so this is actually a real [TS]

  problem boy and you got out so I learned [TS]

  about bugbears and orcs through Advanced [TS]

  Dungeons and Dragons that's right Gary [TS]

  Gygax is master work which is he stole a [TS]

  lot from the Lord of the Rings so much [TS]

  so that they that they filed an [TS]

  injunction all is that I don't surprise [TS]

  me at all but what's funny is i mean [TS]

  there is stuff I did recognize but no [TS]

  I'm like I'm like the worst kind of [TS]

  weirdo because when i hear something [TS]

  like I don't know I imagine a lot of it [TS]

  comes vorpal blade imagine that comes [TS]

  from someplace else [TS]

  I got all the Arthurian stuff not all of [TS]

  it but I understood there are three and [TS]

  stuff i was more familiar i mean even [TS]

  though i'm not a big Lovecraft reader i [TS]

  was more familiar with the concept [TS]

  concept of like [TS]

  Lulu like a lot of my friends play [TS]

  college cthulhu I realized that was from [TS]

  the books but I didn't realize how much [TS]

  of dnd like maybe even near the majority [TS]

  of dnd comes from Lord of the Rings [TS]

  right John [TS]

  oh sorry i had my cough button on my god [TS]

  i thought i had hopelessly offended you [TS]

  with talking talk [TS]

  no no III was hoisted by my own petard [TS]

  I'll what kind of armor classes that [TS]

  lets see that's plus 5 charisma is 5 [TS]

  feet are I feel I feel like just like [TS]

  all led zeppelin lyrics are derived from [TS]

  Lord of the Rings so too is all dungeons [TS]

  and dragons and honestly like eighty [TS]

  percent of post token fantasy [TS]

  yeah is just like what would happen if [TS]

  we met what would happen i mean i think [TS]

  a lot of people read Lord of the Rings [TS]

  and what they really wanted was fanfic [TS]

  of elves having sex and being naked [TS]

  sure and so I think that that's [TS]

  basically all of all fantasy writing is [TS]

  just like the desire to have to watch [TS]

  elves have sex [TS]

  what do you think that's as widespread [TS]

  as it is well you know elves are [TS]

  unattainable and also willowy and [TS]

  certain type of people like willow we [TS]

  think that that's a beauty like a high [TS]

  beauty standard willowy time like [TS]

  slender hips slender hips sort of [TS]

  androgynous unattainable and also never [TS]

  die and boy there's a lot of people that [TS]

  want to be that right unattainable [TS]

  slender hips never die [TS]

  oh yeah that's pretty much la right [TS]

  there yeah exactly right i mean it's [TS]

  it's it's fine Angeles is basically [TS]

  about people who want to be else [TS]

  sure if you look at a man you're like [TS]

  right it's a it's basically she's an elf [TS]

  and she's only here with us she is [TS]

  absolutely i thought you I thought she [TS]

  looked like i was describing her friend [TS]

  is being like a gorgeous bird but I [TS]

  think else might be better but she's an [TS]

  elf and she's here to retrieve [TS]

  if someone some ring that was given to [TS]

  the dwarves manager she can't reveal it [TS]

  now so so yeah I feel like that the [TS]

  fanfic of elves it's like you remember [TS]

  uh remember what was his name [TS]

  Oklahoma the sex cat or Oklahoma sex can [TS]

  rider's name was Dakota Omaha Omaha the [TS]

  sex cat was it was no you didn't you [TS]

  didn't you left me in the dust [TS]

  I thought I was gonna get you this [TS]

  episode but you got me yeah i know all [TS]

  the sex scandal on the cat dancer [TS]

  my hat is it almost 200 it's a furry [TS]

  thing it's a fritz the cat [TS]

  ok step fritz the cat was like bad [TS]

  heroes like howard the duck but Omaha 26 [TS]

  cat was a free thing but like what [TS]

  but real early before freeze had been [TS]

  identified and 19 1978 78 and it's just [TS]

  like it's just like anthropomorphic cats [TS]

  who who had a good hunches and there was [TS]

  there i think probably for centuries [TS]

  there have been people who were sitting [TS]

  there in there in there comfortable [TS]

  chair that have been made out of antlers [TS]

  or whatever it was that people used to [TS]

  sit in and a cat would walk by all proud [TS]

  tail in the air and the person would say [TS]

  the prehistoric person would say I [TS]

  wonder how hard it would be to fuck [TS]

  again it would probably pretty [TS]

  hard-headed yourself you keep it to [TS]

  yourself but you turn it over in your [TS]

  mind a little bit yeah it's hard to even [TS]

  pick up a cat and Pettit you're out [TS]

  hunting and gathering and then maybe it [TS]

  comes a little bit of an intrusive [TS]

  thought you start you realize you're [TS]

  thinking about how hard would be to fuck [TS]

  at that comes up more and more in your [TS]

  mom yeah you're out there you've got a [TS]

  spirit hand here comes here comes a [TS]

  muskox and you're like but your mind is [TS]

  somewhere else minus thinking how hard [TS]

  would it be to park at okay and then [TS]

  hear that you missed the shot right now [TS]

  you're like this is this is [TS]

  disadvantageous so over the course of [TS]

  time [TS]

  how do you deal with how to deal with [TS]

  that problem it's like if you want to if [TS]

  you want to try to fuck a horse you can [TS]

  probably get away with that horse or [TS]

  we'll take it yeah that's not gonna take [TS]

  it anyway we arrived at a place in 1978 [TS]

  we're all these things that converged [TS]

  and it was finally possible for somebody [TS]

  to draw pictures of cats that you could [TS]

  fuck ok and it was like a it was [TS]

  transformative moment is a lot of people [TS]

  were liberated and there were [TS]

  comic-con's then [TS]

  mhm and they went and they passed the [TS]

  stuff around george RR martin was there [TS]

  and they were like this see if i can [TS]

  what do you think about that how about [TS]

  that huh [TS]

  and then a whole that whole world [TS]

  exploded and then pretty soon you've got [TS]

  these Syrian kids in a hotel in [TS]

  vancouver yeah and they're dancing [TS]

  they're dancing with a bunch of people [TS]

  dressed like like fuckable cats who [TS]

  could have predicted that is that in the [TS]

  Bible is that a video you didn't he [TS]

  didn't see this they they better a whole [TS]

  bunch of anything you get a different [TS]

  internet than I hit a bunch of refugee [TS]

  families from Syria arrived they went to [TS]

  the furry festival and the furries came [TS]

  out and dance with the children in the [TS]

  lobby [TS]

  yeah they were put in the same hotel [TS]

  it's like oh we're putting you up in [TS]

  this great hotel [TS]

  welcome to the welcome to North America [TS]

  I did sound you know what I did see a [TS]

  photo of that yes [TS]

  nobody's gonna be bombing you anymore [TS]

  the Russians are gonna be bothering you [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  oh and also your hope your hotel is full [TS]

  of Ferraris yes like what a magical [TS]

  adventure [TS]

  none of that would have been possible [TS]

  without Omaha the sex can do they make [TS]

  the outfits in a way that accommodates [TS]

  the idea that they might want to have [TS]

  intercourse with each other [TS]

  I'm do I mean is it because you think [TS]

  about like a like a underwear thing [TS]

  yeah and like there's some people who [TS]

  want to have sex with people in [TS]

  underwear some people want people to [TS]

  wear underwear then take the underwear [TS]

  off and they have sex with a person with [TS]

  no underwear yeah does I mean like you [TS]

  know what I'm not going further with [TS]

  this because if I ask people tell me i [TS]

  believe that a greater percentage of [TS]

  people want to want to have their cake [TS]

  and eat it too in the sense that they [TS]

  want to but they want the other person [TS]

  to keep their underwear on but also be [TS]

  able to have sex [TS]

  yeah that's why all of this complicated [TS]

  underwear that's true right like this if [TS]

  if you just took the underwear off then [TS]

  all underwear would just be sort of [TS]

  bloomers right [TS]

  you get the complicated underwear and [TS]

  then you have it you get this cake and [TS]

  eat it too situation [TS]

  yeah anything you want if you want to be [TS]

  a cake that somebody could eat so to [TS]

  speak you're gonna have to come up with [TS]

  some kind of a class or something you [TS]

  have to come up with some way to have a [TS]

  slice cut out of the cake with somebody [TS]

  gets you in a way that they could eat [TS]

  you you're talking about a workaround [TS]

  sure Cheryl thinking about think about [TS]

  all of the ways that the under the [TS]

  increasingly modern underwear is just a [TS]

  workaround well because the thing is you [TS]

  get something that is clunky as what has [TS]

  been called crotchless panties I don't [TS]

  know who wants these things [TS]

  no that's a terrible idea but you can [TS]

  also just look at the idea of the [TS]

  missing the garter belt the cartridge [TS]

  belt is a way to have fun and fancy [TS]

  underwear that's only kind of really [TS]

  underwear [TS]

  it's not like you're wearing a swimsuit [TS]

  or something well the garter belt as a [TS]

  the greater built as a way of keeping [TS]

  your weird pantyhose that was invented [TS]

  before elastic yeah that was the sort of [TS]

  functional thing that became [TS]

  increasingly fetishized you know went [TS]

  from being a girdle to being this weird [TS]

  set of ropes and now who wears a [TS]

  freaking garterbelt except as a sex [TS]

  device right hand corner posts are very [TS]

  confusing for people because I don't [TS]

  they don't look good on me people well [TS]

  and they're very confusing to wear like [TS]

  I have seen people this is just I mean [TS]

  that's known a lot of people i'm sure [TS]

  who believe that the garter belt is [TS]

  meant to be fastened sort of above the [TS]

  belly button somewhere at the narrowest [TS]

  part of the of the of the waist [TS]

  that's it that's an unusual look which [TS]

  is not where they belong and it made [TS]

  they look very much more like a girdle [TS]

  or bloomers or look like a profit fell [TS]

  down if you want that high [TS]

  yeah they look like tripods from the [TS]

  book tripods boy sounds face is I think [TS]

  that's it is the do what do you think [TS]

  those things were tripods tripods from [TS]

  white a big penis joke no okay well [TS]

  that's a that's like a I mean basically [TS]

  all of all of contemporary science [TS]

  fiction comes from movie tripods are the [TS]

  book tripod okay why don't I look that [TS]

  up [TS]

  tripods White Mountains okay um but so [TS]

  garter belts in my estimation are meant [TS]

  to be worn you know down on the hip [TS]

  yes this is just a little advice I'm [TS]

  giving to our listeners who are a people [TS]

  a lot of frustration who are in New [TS]

  Zealand and all of their underwear is [TS]

  made of sheepskin but I'm sorry sheep [TS]

  fur and sheepskin this not animals rose [TS]

  but it should get the monarch for that [TS]

  remember which ones for anywhere which [TS]

  was for condoms [TS]

  yeah right the underwear yeah red skies [TS]

  at night [TS]

  remember we're right right it's guys at [TS]

  morning I she breaks up with you because [TS]

  you gave her garter belt for Christmas [TS]

  that's the mnemonic I had given gardai [TS]

  gave a garter belt once did you really [TS]

  yeah she's real good sport about it but [TS]

  is before I learned about people men [TS]

  women in particular and I might I don't [TS]

  know what I might as well have I might [TS]

  as well have gotten her a penis pump [TS]

  like no happy Valentine's Day [TS]

  yeah it's like going into a store and [TS]

  buying your girlfriend spanks haha [TS]

  alright i was in a store number let's [TS]

  get it right get a broom and some diet [TS]

  pills [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like Christmastime [TS]

  what about these Spanx and every woman [TS]

  in the store like six different people [TS]

  two of them working in the store and [TS]

  four of them just customers they all [TS]

  turned around at once and they were like [TS]

  do not by anyone spanks yeah I was like [TS]

  really I keep hearing about it there's [TS]

  that they're on TV and they all said [TS]

  they all agreed listen Spanx are things [TS]

  that a woman buys herself [TS]

  there's no she and she wants them she [TS]

  gets it for missing you wouldn't give [TS]

  her tampons not same way but a similar [TS]

  way of like you know what if they that's [TS]

  something I might need that I can do on [TS]

  my own [TS]

  yeah and it feels a little weird for you [TS]

  give me that my my wife one time a [TS]

  mother's boyfriend of hers gave her [TS]

  towels and towels and soap for Christmas [TS]

  me to this day we continue to argue [TS]

  about whether that was a [TS]

  passive-aggressive gift [TS]

  yeah that feels pretty mean right now my [TS]

  wife is very clean you would only do [TS]

  that to be cool right now would you give [TS]

  someone why would I mean issues like [TS]

  they were really nice soaps I like still [TS]

  I would never give anybody soap and it [TS]

  helped for christmas i mean i-i I think [TS]

  it's the towel that turns it into an [TS]

  insult because i have i've been buying [TS]

  the last several years I've been buying [TS]

  like $24 bottles are bars of soap that [TS]

  smell like friends if you know what [TS]

  people like that can be a nice [TS]

  gift yeah you're buying a nice but I [TS]

  candle a candle can be a real fuckup [TS]

  gift if you don't know what you're doing [TS]

  but if you know that person like me I [TS]

  enjoy the smell of lemon verbena if you [TS]

  give me something smells like lemon [TS]

  verbena I'm a happy camper but don't [TS]

  well the thing about lemon verbena is it [TS]

  makes it seem like you're camping [TS]

  because it smells like mosquito replying [TS]

  now it's so nice and put on a belt but [TS]

  so the thing about the number-one [TS]

  confusion about garter belts i think is [TS]

  to wear the panties on the insider to [TS]

  wear the pants on the outside is that [TS]

  even a question [TS]

  it is a big question because panties on [TS]

  the outside looks dumb but you can't [TS]

  take the panties down to go to the potty [TS]

  shanis on the inside look better but in [TS]

  order to get the panties off [TS]

  you have to have a master's degree in [TS]

  engineering yeah that's like a natural [TS]

  thing like that [TS]

  yeah I see what you're saying so what so [TS]

  there are lots and lots of people in the [TS]

  garter belt community [TS]

  let's say you gotta wear the panties on [TS]

  the outside otherwise it's not [TS]

  functional [TS]

  otherwise it's just like some kind of if [TS]

  you're a person who if you're a person [TS]

  who is wearing the garter belt because [TS]

  it makes you feel sexy and it makes you [TS]

  want to do sexy things while you're [TS]

  wearing it then you could choose to have [TS]

  the panties on the outside and that's a [TS]

  very forward-thinking sort of decision I [TS]

  think giving somebody too many notes [TS]

  especially as your partner right the [TS]

  order in which they should put on their [TS]

  underwear you can run into trouble for [TS]

  sure because if you if if you are seeing [TS]

  sexy undergarments for the first time [TS]

  and the first thing out of your mouth is [TS]

  how do you go to the potty [TS]

  yeah that's not my first question yeah [TS]

  that's not gonna be that's not a bad [TS]

  mood enhancer right unless you're [TS]

  Germany I was I've been avoiding at this [TS]

  entire time I've been utterly avoid I've [TS]

  been avoiding it [TS]

  yeah yeah I know is everything we're [TS]

  saying here goes triple for germany it [TS]

  slow it's low-hanging fruit which is [TS]

  another thing in Germany they're very [TS]

  interested in all nice and long like a [TS]

  lemon party should they call it a lemon [TS]

  verbena it's a but they say with a [TS]

  German accent remember being finished i [TS]

  said uh so this is all very it's all for [TS]

  many many years of so let me tell you [TS]

  what yes one time when I was when I was [TS]

  very grungy I back in the day when all [TS]

  of my jeans were over died [TS]

  remember that time there was a second [TS]

  time in the United super-dark know you [TS]

  take a pair of jeans like a normal pair [TS]

  of jeans yeah but then you'd put them in [TS]

  the washing machine with a canister of [TS]

  rip.gov they were like green or blue [TS]

  oh yeah thank you I think I do remember [TS]

  this yeah like you put you put some [TS]

  green ribbed I in with your Levi's and [TS]

  then you somebody had green levis and [TS]

  that was really that was a cool thing [TS]

  and I had a lot of overdyed clothes [TS]

  jeans like a jean jacket that had had a [TS]

  brown bottle of brownrigg died i'm [TS]

  seeing this and again you can get some [TS]

  he gained from it [TS]

  oh you get killer he gay but it's long [TS]

  and i had a pair of jeans and apparently [TS]

  buys that last me 20 years because they [TS]

  had been over died and even though the [TS]

  dye made no difference right it's not [TS]

  like it added a layer of fabric but I [TS]

  was convinced that the fact that these [TS]

  had been overdyed meant somehow had some [TS]

  effect on them so that they lasted for [TS]

  20 years which pair of jeans should not [TS]

  but so I was schlepping around in my [TS]

  overdyed jeans and my big carhartt [TS]

  jacket and my be no my hoodie on top of [TS]

  a hoodie and at that point you know my [TS]

  soul patch was down on dragging on the [TS]

  ground like floors okay my love ya know [TS]

  can open beard jam a whole don't want to [TS]

  WoW and I want him up this the market up [TS]

  a hill in seattle and there's a little [TS]

  gal in front of me who's a who's my age [TS]

  Right see 25 and she's dressed [TS]

  impeccably like like downtown business [TS]

  and her her pencil skirt all which has [TS]

  which is like gray flannel pinstripe is [TS]

  just it's business right but it's just I [TS]

  would say one quarter of a millimeter [TS]

  short short too short for business not [TS]

  too short for me [TS]

  mhm just right in the zone uh-huh [TS]

  she's wearing a little business outfit [TS]

  and she's and she just looks in and just [TS]

  amazing and she's walking ahead of me up [TS]

  this hill [TS]

  and I'm like what in what world does a [TS]

  person like this exists because i'm down [TS]

  here [TS]

  shama lama hey and I'm thinking that I'm [TS]

  at the top of the game of being 25 how [TS]

  much more top of the game of being 25 is [TS]

  their right and but she's in this other [TS]

  world and we're walking up the hill and [TS]

  then you know that she's in high heels [TS]

  obviously and she increases our pace [TS]

  just a little bit she's completely [TS]

  unaware mean and I catch a glimpse of [TS]

  the fact that she is not wearing [TS]

  pantyhose she's wearing stockings and [TS]

  they are as a time in my life that would [TS]

  that would take me down for a couple [TS]

  weeks [TS]

  well this is the thing that little clips [TS]

  on them yeah and and it's just you know [TS]

  it's not like her skirt hiked up or [TS]

  anything it was just like just slightest [TS]

  glimpse you see that the dark band of [TS]

  the top of the stocking and then just [TS]

  for a second and I had to stop by stop [TS]

  by stop walking i took Annie uh huh and [TS]

  here it is now 20 years later I'm still [TS]

  talking about it not to everybody [TS]

  I'm talking about in my own head I've [TS]

  had that I've I still have some of those [TS]

  in my mind right now like whether what [TS]

  who is she [TS]

  what other what other world was she [TS]

  living in madurai that any of us i [TS]

  looked down at my overdye jeans just [TS]

  turned to ashes [TS]

  she's Konrad Lorenz and you're the duct [TS]

  I'm the freaking dr. the document [TS]

  printed on her so and i have no idea [TS]

  11 time in the same era I was standing [TS]

  on a street corner and a guy walked by [TS]

  me you know handsome guy my size walks [TS]

  past me and he was wearing some sort of [TS]

  a part foam of some sort and as he [TS]

  walked past and ricotta i caught a whiff [TS]

  of his part foam I was like oh I want to [TS]

  fuck that guy and I didn't know what I [TS]

  didn't know how to process it so I [TS]

  started following him I was like all [TS]

  right I don't want I don't know what to [TS]

  do now i really want to have sex with [TS]

  this guy which isn't typically my with [TS]

  like sex pointer [TS]

  yeah but something about his part form [TS]

  something something this is you know [TS]

  this is a necklace moments that snap [TS]

  together like magnets so I followed him [TS]

  too much less interested in [TS]

  trying to explain to yourself then you [TS]

  are going where do i get that the fellow [TS]

  with the part phone [TS]

  yeah I had no interest in explaining it [TS]

  to myself I had every interested in [TS]

  following him until some sort of sort of [TS]

  rendezvous could be arranged yes but [TS]

  then it was obvious that now I'm just [TS]

  following him and that seems weird but I [TS]

  have wondered and once I broke off i've [TS]

  eard you know I was like sure disengaged [TS]

  is what i did they you know that he flew [TS]

  back over the over libya and I you know [TS]

  how to avoid the airspace and I went [TS]

  back to i went back and i did a flyover [TS]

  and and spilled the coffee of the guy [TS]

  that's driving the boat he said down [TS]

  that maverick [TS]

  [Music] [TS]