Roderick on the Line

Ep. 190: "Omertà of the Sea"


00:00:00   this episode of rock on the line is

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00:00:06   the show

00:00:08   [Music]

00:00:13   hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going

00:00:17   great

00:00:19   good all right stay up super duper how

00:00:22   about you

00:00:23   great let's wrap it up alright how many

00:00:25   times when I'm talking about

00:00:27   do-do-do-do-do thanks for tuning in

00:00:30   again yeah thanks for coming to our

00:00:32   normally complain about stuff like that

00:00:34   we are super good right now we've got

00:00:37   you know what wouldn't be finding that

00:00:38   would be funny if we just had a week

00:00:40   where everything was okay

00:00:41   yeah how we imagine that any measure you

00:00:44   know what nothing intolerable nothing I

00:00:46   know it's I've got worse and worse

00:00:49   months everybody was driving fine

00:00:52   yep anything about Hitler one on the

00:00:55   weigh-in today I passed you know there's

00:00:57   a small traffic jam but not one that I

00:00:59   was upset about because the the source

00:01:02   of it was that a cop it pulled over a

00:01:04   lime green lamborghini diablo oh that's

00:01:08   okay

00:01:09   and everybody else looks slow down to

00:01:11   see it and I was like yeah of course of

00:01:14   course

00:01:14   oh my god said that person who whoever

00:01:17   paid for that car probably got to choose

00:01:20   from many many colors

00:01:22   well yeah many many colors mean that

00:01:24   they'll say let's see I mean you had one

00:01:26   black and yellow red white

00:01:28   ok but let's assume even you get three

00:01:30   colors oh and you pick lime-green that's

00:01:34   just you know that way you talk about a

00:01:36   fuck you to everybody

00:01:37   mhm did you notice i'm driving a

00:01:39   Lamborghini Diablo did you notice man

00:01:43   oh then that's a nice car to get pulled

00:01:47   over and it's very luxurious well you

00:01:49   know I can't imagine that you would ever

00:01:51   get out of first gear in it in town and

00:01:53   if you were the type of person that

00:01:55   would drive one around town like that's

00:01:58   the thing about a car like that right

00:01:59   you know driving around town you drive

00:02:01   it you get out of town you take it out

00:02:04   on this number to say but the call was

00:02:06   that with the road you going in Germany

00:02:08   the steinberger said the rash tag the

00:02:11   mainspring some wrangle the right gold

00:02:13   there goes the recycle the original

00:02:16   the ring shot at the nürburgring in

00:02:22   nürburgring nürnberg yeah I have a

00:02:25   couple friends who've driven on the nerd

00:02:27   bird nürburgring our friend Marco Marco

00:02:29   has driven on the Nurburgring in his m7

00:02:32   tourism niners m12 yeah it's pretty nice

00:02:35   guy i'm giving you believe it's a pretty

00:02:36   nice car you never been in it

00:02:38   no I I mean I don't even know that we

00:02:41   need to address or something like that

00:02:43   uh-huh I think they probably probably

00:02:45   she wear something like inside-out

00:02:47   sweatpants something that wouldn't want

00:02:48   more of the seats i'm guessing

00:02:49   inside-out sweatpants maybe a little

00:02:51   sheep skin like ask chap that strips

00:02:56   yeah you know everybody says oh assless

00:02:59   chaps and then all the put the pendants

00:03:01   early Ferb but what about it just a

00:03:04   straight-up just that just the missing

00:03:06   part of said it just lets it down at all

00:03:08   like yeah like a little just little ass

00:03:11   ass infront felt like maybe you don't

00:03:14   want though the weight and performance

00:03:16   characteristics of full-on chaps maybe

00:03:18   you just want the part where you're

00:03:19   asking normally stick out maybe you're

00:03:21   modest you want to go to a parade and

00:03:23   ride on the float but you don't want

00:03:24   your butt cheeks out there

00:03:26   yeah chaps are meant if you're on a

00:03:29   horse who and your horse brushes up

00:03:32   against another horse or a cow or a

00:03:35   fence a with your horses want to do

00:03:38   right horse is trying to knock you off

00:03:40   as best they can John they're doing the

00:03:42   best they can and if they see a

00:03:43   low-hanging branch or a cow

00:03:45   they're going to get up on it and hope

00:03:48   that they can knock you off and that's

00:03:49   why you have chaps on right to keep your

00:03:51   pant legs from getting a braided or

00:03:53   something I don't know why you wear

00:03:54   chaps frankly I but there's lots of

00:03:56   reasons I mean sorta like you're

00:03:58   describing it's like so like why you

00:03:59   would wear gloves there's all kinds of

00:04:00   things you're gonna encounter that could

00:04:01   take a chunk out of you brush let's say

00:04:03   brush probably a lot of brushes by very

00:04:05   coarse point yet parts pointy brush but

00:04:08   what is the equivalent if you're riding

00:04:10   around in marco arment m5 it you don't

00:04:14   need to protect you

00:04:16   you need to protect the car

00:04:19   uh-huh and so you have some sheepskin

00:04:21   reverse chaps which I guess we're just

00:04:24   going to call ass chaps right over or

00:04:28   like

00:04:29   he's a loincloth chaps yeah yeah I think

00:04:33   they'll be a skirt

00:04:34   well except you don't want it on the

00:04:36   side you want to be cool and breezy on

00:04:37   the side you're not touching the car on

00:04:39   the side just wanted you wanted in the

00:04:41   back you wanted in the back to took to

00:04:44   give a nice buff to the leather seats

00:04:46   and not too much it's not too much to

00:04:47   ask

00:04:48   I don't know why you wanted in the front

00:04:49   just for us a comfortable place to

00:04:51   arrest your hands

00:04:52   yeah I don't you want to look at

00:04:53   somebody's while you're driving around

00:04:54   in your BMW exactly exactly right so

00:04:57   it's more of a it's like a ass

00:05:00   it's a it's a it's a it's like a

00:05:02   polishing rag on the bottom i get a

00:05:04   modesty skirt on the front like Elega i

00:05:07   knw burka

00:05:08   yeah okay great name for a BMW by the

00:05:11   way the burqa yeah we tried the new be

00:05:13   taken out on this time Steinberg

00:05:15   instruction so you're gonna get letters

00:05:17   yeah i sure am I sure I wasn't gonna ask

00:05:20   you about yes you get the Germans get

00:05:23   Marc Armand over here i'll copy up ya

00:05:25   know soon as soon as you've been

00:05:32   traveling yeah I've done a lot of

00:05:33   traveling I'm not done yet because as

00:05:35   you know the life of an artist is the

00:05:38   life of an eternal vacation basically

00:05:41   I've just been on a I've just been on

00:05:43   two major warm-weather vacations and now

00:05:46   I'm going on a on a lengthy ski trip

00:05:50   it's it i can't defend it

00:05:54   really yeah i don't i don't produce

00:05:56   anything worthwhile for the world right

00:06:00   I'm yui marking don't feel like you need

00:06:01   to defend that John I'm like a game

00:06:03   designer except they don't even design

00:06:04   games

00:06:05   yeah it's true he has much value though

00:06:07   right i mean you know what we write his

00:06:10   paper hat my daughters like that a

00:06:13   favorite video game right now is a game

00:06:16   where you stare at this same area of a

00:06:19   backyard of a house and try to make cats

00:06:21   come into the yard

00:06:23   I'm doing what you would never do in

00:06:26   real life right and so the answer your

00:06:29   way for cats to come and then you try to

00:06:31   track the cats and then that gives you

00:06:33   the opportunity i don't exactly

00:06:34   understand claim to understand the game

00:06:35   i know it is primarily about collecting

00:06:37   cats you get like pictures of them and

00:06:39   stuff but then also when you I think

00:06:41   your reward for attracting cats it is

00:06:44   you're given the opportunity to buy buy

00:06:46   goods virtual goods inside the game that

00:06:49   enables you to attract more cats

00:06:51   oh sure sure she loves it uh-uh I'm

00:06:55   wondering now that you say this I've

00:06:58   always been very curious about

00:06:59   birdwatchers

00:07:00   oh yeah because they're out here i think

00:07:02   it was a cover up front for something

00:07:04   else

00:07:04   well yeah me too but but the more I look

00:07:06   into it the more it seems that they are

00:07:08   just out for watching Birds gathering

00:07:11   gather it was what they're gathering

00:07:13   having watched a bird collecting the

00:07:16   experience of having seen a bird

00:07:19   yeah and different birds so they're like

00:07:20   did you ever have you ever seen a

00:07:24   spotted throated warboss yeah sure

00:07:28   though the third row warthog yeah the

00:07:30   war or wearing warbling bore blah grow

00:07:34   long and the other person goes yes and

00:07:37   then they both have collected having

00:07:39   seen it over and that's very interesting

00:07:41   to me and they're not in the

00:07:43   birdwatchers of the bird photographers

00:07:44   are different people too so they're not

00:07:46   even watch they're not even collecting

00:07:48   having taken a picture of a thing I've

00:07:51   never had an opportunity to talk about

00:07:52   this and i haven't actually thought

00:07:54   about it that much but as you get older

00:07:57   you start to realize that there are what

00:07:59   you from isms for example use their

00:08:02   existential euphemisms for example like

00:08:05   it let's say you look for opportunities

00:08:07   like for my wife i think i think going

00:08:10   to the gym or going to yoga is very much

00:08:12   about going to the gym and going to yoga

00:08:14   that's always a part of it but but it's

00:08:16   also that she's not with us like she

00:08:18   gets an hour to herself or two hours or

00:08:20   you're saying yeah I'm just like dad

00:08:22   saying all we're out of milk

00:08:24   I'm happy to go to the store and get

00:08:25   some milk uh-huh because you get a

00:08:27   second to yourself and maybe you can

00:08:28   smoke a cigarette

00:08:29   yeah like my grandfather said I'm going

00:08:31   out for a packet

00:08:32   and he didn't come back for 15 years

00:08:34   yeah or like that it's all it's a lot

00:08:36   like that and so I don't know why but as

00:08:37   I got older I started to think it's not

00:08:39   that I can't imagine why someone would

00:08:40   super watching it just it seems a little

00:08:42   obscure it's one of those things like

00:08:44   gorilla costumes are quicksand in the

00:08:45   seventies where it came up so often the

00:08:48   even as weird as it was like is that

00:08:49   much quicksand in the world wait a

00:08:51   minute you are really nailing something

00:08:53   here have you talked about this before

00:08:54   I've mentioned another place I'm not the

00:08:56   only person there is actually her

00:08:57   podcast a few years ago about what

00:08:59   happened quicksand is quicksand was

00:09:01   everywhere it was it was terrified of

00:09:04   quicksand it seemed like it looked

00:09:05   around every corner there was certainly

00:09:07   a period probably half a year wherever I

00:09:09   would avoid sand because given the

00:09:10   exposure in the media

00:09:12   I had to assume that there was quicksand

00:09:13   out there I just didn't know about and

00:09:14   also people Gorillaz it's so well about

00:09:16   that was not true i expected that though

00:09:19   and-and-and birthday party clowns oh I

00:09:22   still never met anybody who actually

00:09:23   looks forward to meeting a cloud

00:09:25   no but we were going to believe your

00:09:27   soul to build good John we were led to

00:09:28   believe that there was a clown culture

00:09:30   out there that somebody like and I've

00:09:31   never met anybody who wasn't a clown who

00:09:35   actually like the clown see I don't mind

00:09:36   clowns but I had a traumatic clown

00:09:38   experience as a child of God but i'm

00:09:40   wondering how quick stand fits into the

00:09:43   Bermuda Triangle a Bigfoot Loch Ness

00:09:49   monster sure that the in search of era

00:09:52   yeah like what how did quick same factor

00:09:54   into that that's so interesting it seems

00:09:56   it seems contemporaneous what you're all

00:09:58   so you're telling this like there was

00:09:59   this period where there has to be a

00:10:01   reason why this was and maybe it was

00:10:03   like post hippie like free new-age

00:10:06   America was very interested in all kinds

00:10:09   of like what do concepts about remember

00:10:11   there's that period even before in

00:10:13   search of there was that time life set

00:10:15   of books but there's all this too

00:10:16   interesting aliens about the you know

00:10:19   the ETA is coming to visit us

00:10:20   sure secret Nazi weapons shore

00:10:23   underground or underwater kingdoms you

00:10:26   got to get the Sasquatch yep right at

00:10:29   the Bigfoot Loch Ness monster it was

00:10:31   everywhere I think this is part of the

00:10:33   appeal now that we're talking about it

00:10:35   of the original Indiana Jones movie

00:10:37   oh remember we all went into that he's

00:10:39   got a lot of those elements yeah and

00:10:41   where

00:10:41   we were asked as ten-year-old kids 12

00:10:44   year old kids we were primed to think

00:10:47   that there were little you know little

00:10:49   secret Mayan temples full of gold idols

00:10:52   and and secret Nazi weapons in Nazi

00:10:56   weapons you've also got sort of like a

00:10:58   like the whole like religious cult

00:11:01   supernatural component parties into the

00:11:03   Nazis yes it's all it's all baked into

00:11:07   the Bermuda Triangle scene now and they

00:11:10   had snakes in that I don't remember

00:11:12   there being quicksand but also you know

00:11:15   quicksand is also a fetish there are

00:11:16   quicksand fetishists really there are

00:11:19   people who think it's kinda it's a sexy

00:11:21   thing for some people

00:11:22   I get that I get that I grew up with

00:11:25   enough for something on TV and you're

00:11:26   gonna want to masturbate to it

00:11:27   eventually

00:11:28   quicksand figures prominently in the

00:11:29   princess bride in the princess bride

00:11:32   Oh what's the idea that the heels you

00:11:35   got the oh that's right yeah you're

00:11:37   right

00:11:38   yeah I don't understand i'm still trying

00:11:41   to parse it is this is coming up more

00:11:43   and more you know i was just on a cruise

00:11:45   yeah and I we were invited to visit the

00:11:48   bridge which I had never had never been

00:11:50   invited to the bridge before and they

00:11:53   didn't look at the computer but not it

00:11:57   that's not huh

00:11:58   no they're sailors up there in various

00:11:59   uniforms who and there's a captain in

00:12:02   our case he was a ship captain from

00:12:04   Winnipeg which right away that should

00:12:06   ring some alarm bells is a landlocked

00:12:09   area John yeah they're yeah

00:12:11   winnipeg doesn't know where a lot of

00:12:12   doesn't doesn't have this to see in his

00:12:14   veins

00:12:14   nothing normally when you need to see

00:12:16   Captain he's either from the Netherlands

00:12:18   or from the Netherlands all right there

00:12:21   off from the netherlands in other words

00:12:23   or from Greece the whole the boats all

00:12:25   the boats it's like they don't boats

00:12:27   have their own delaware isn't a delaware

00:12:29   of boats you always register in it but

00:12:32   me or what is it is one place where

00:12:35   everybody registers to think it's the

00:12:36   bell whereas Nassau yeah something like

00:12:38   that and then you so you get your boat

00:12:40   and you act like it's from the Delaware

00:12:41   of boats and then you hire some some

00:12:43   tall blond guy to run your book because

00:12:45   he's always a

00:12:46   another lender yeah yeah the the

00:12:49   Nederlanders grow up basically knee-deep

00:12:51   in water and that's how they become ship

00:12:54   captains because it's the only way they

00:12:56   can on the water ya got the water get up

00:12:58   onto a boat and your people dry out

00:13:00   eventually

00:13:00   the Greeks also there are a lot of

00:13:02   islands there and they they're all

00:13:04   Abbott sailors but this guy's Canadians

00:13:07   oh ok i mean the kid obviously the

00:13:10   Canadians have a lot of sailors but not

00:13:13   from Winnipeg

00:13:14   yeah but don't have any boats right one

00:13:17   category well this is no you got to get

00:13:19   that area on the east coast where they

00:13:20   got a boat almost like there's no boats

00:13:22   but you don't have sufficient votes to

00:13:24   sellers not enough but I mean is there

00:13:26   like a large amount of Navy I in say

00:13:29   like that like whether we get the

00:13:31   saskatoon is a place in Canada but

00:13:33   there's no Navy there you get the Navy

00:13:35   in Toronto I you're not gonna have a lot

00:13:38   of maybe although there's a there's a

00:13:39   there's a lake you have a lake Navy and

00:13:41   heroin you haven't yeah you'd have

00:13:43   thought the old heroin maybe but you

00:13:45   know candy and Canada's Navy is very

00:13:48   important because Canada needs to

00:13:50   protect its Arctic sea ways

00:13:52   Oh like way up there old boy that's that

00:13:55   that is a gig I would not want

00:13:57   well yeah except see this is the thing

00:13:59   about the measure for the quicksand is

00:14:01   probably not a lot of quicksand when you

00:14:02   got that no don't know what's up there

00:14:03   because it has frozen over quicksand

00:14:05   well but that's the ice recedes there

00:14:07   might be there might be a a lien a

00:14:10   civilization that mean that's where

00:14:12   you're going to find it

00:14:12   Bermuda triangles yes a big foots quick

00:14:15   ice quick guys

00:14:17   quicksand Mayan temples it could all be

00:14:20   up there so not a lot of territory

00:14:23   there's a lot you know I think the

00:14:24   coastline of canada is like the longest

00:14:27   coastline in the world or something like

00:14:28   that because it just is all crazy up

00:14:30   there but as the chasm and abroad

00:14:33   well also yeah no true Scotsman but the

00:14:37   but all the nations of the world are now

00:14:38   trying to scoot in and out of these

00:14:41   canadian areas because the sea ice has

00:14:46   receded and there's oil up there and so

00:14:48   Canada's got a whole Navy that's all

00:14:49   worried about that they're not worried

00:14:53   about pot smuggling anymore because it's

00:14:55   all coming from Canada

00:14:57   anyway so this guy's for me a Winnipeg

00:15:01   and here's the here's the rub are you

00:15:03   ready ready here's why I got to go to

00:15:06   the bridge because the captain who was

00:15:09   65 years old is an enormous wil wheaton

00:15:13   fan

00:15:14   oh interesting and he hears will

00:15:16   weakness on his boat and he's like got

00:15:19   me well we bring him to the bridge

00:15:23   yeah exactly everything that whistle

00:15:25   noise well so of course will has the

00:15:29   communicator sound oh my god wait a

00:15:32   minute okay own I believe I'm putting

00:15:34   this together now

00:15:35   oh my god and he's akiza kills you he

00:15:38   was on the star trac yeah in the in the

00:15:40   eighties that's correct or not you're a

00:15:42   tease

00:15:43   yeah it was in college he was on the

00:15:45   star track and and he was he played he

00:15:48   played Beverly Crusher and he was the

00:15:50   guy with the crab face right yeah

00:15:51   exactly like cats

00:15:53   he i thought was the one to me talking

00:15:56   penguin and smoke a cigarette in a long

00:15:58   sort of a pipe

00:16:00   oh yeah right that's the that's a guy's

00:16:01   Balfour that's the name of the bartender

00:16:03   it was in another color purple

00:16:04   well and he's the reason better but the

00:16:06   Middle East is so unevenly defined well

00:16:08   I didn't bring it up here but in any

00:16:10   case this is so great we round out the

00:16:13   guy from Star track is on his boat

00:16:14   that's right and on the first thing he

00:16:17   says when we walked onto the bridges he

00:16:19   points to his captain's cheerios we had

00:16:21   that modeled off of the enterprise and

00:16:24   we all you know get courtesy chuckle

00:16:25   he's super nice guy super nice captain

00:16:28   he walks around as I say wills phone

00:16:31   periodically he would get a text and it

00:16:33   would make the communicator sound and

00:16:35   the captain would like literally giggle

00:16:37   what you mean this guy's like 280 pounds

00:16:41   like sea captain all of his all of his

00:16:43   staff

00:16:44   I'm talking about like hundreds of

00:16:45   sailors when he walks by they all cower

00:16:48   I mean not because then I'm sure not

00:16:51   because he's mean but because the it's

00:16:53   the law of the sea right he's the

00:16:55   captain

00:16:55   that's a pretty big deal on a boat you

00:16:57   don't step onto the bridge unless you've

00:16:59   you know unless you like it's his boat

00:17:01   it's his boat that's how that's how

00:17:04   captioning works it's a pretty big deal

00:17:05   i think yeah there was a there was a

00:17:07   there's a button in in some of the

00:17:09   public bathrooms it says you know in in

00:17:11   better emergency push this button but

00:17:13   don't push this button frivolously

00:17:14   because it rings on the bridge but we

00:17:17   will come rescue you and we will come

00:17:19   rescue you

00:17:20   hard as a former productivity expert

00:17:22   have to tell you that is that is a

00:17:23   category terrible idea

00:17:25   well it's not like the captain's gonna

00:17:26   come but it was just a moment just one

00:17:28   song someone in the bathroom having a

00:17:30   problem clean with an emergency but it's

00:17:32   like it's their way of saying like if

00:17:35   you're having an emergency it had better

00:17:36   fucking be an emergency right we're

00:17:39   gonna send sailors here but so many were

00:17:41   walking around the bridge and and you

00:17:45   know whenever people are there's not a

00:17:46   very small group of us and people are

00:17:48   asking and polite questions like what is

00:17:50   this knob do and what's the you know

00:17:53   what are what's this knob do like

00:17:55   nobody's got nobody knows what to say to

00:17:57   a sea captain and so so I said what's

00:18:01   the weirdest thing you've ever seen come

00:18:02   out of the sea and he says I saw sunfish

00:18:07   which is an enormous fish are perfectly

00:18:12   round fish that floats on the top of the

00:18:14   floats on the surface of the sea and

00:18:18   they're very rare nobody ever sees them

00:18:21   wow I saw one and I didn't know what it

00:18:23   was this is not a cryptozoological thing

00:18:24   this is like that this has been

00:18:26   legitimated by schools and stuff so he

00:18:28   has seen one and it is this is guys

00:18:30   spent 50 years on the sea or ever since

00:18:33   I've seen a sunfish and I didn't know

00:18:35   what it was a freak me out because its

00:18:37   enormous right it's the size of a

00:18:38   trampoline or something right and then

00:18:41   he said I saw second one and I knew what

00:18:43   it was by that point and I marveled at

00:18:46   it was like okay weird creature of the

00:18:49   deep and then I said I mean all these

00:18:52   years staring out of the sea

00:18:53   have you ever seen UFOs

00:18:56   just just like that without any kind of

00:18:57   like just I was just like all right sci

00:19:00   fi star trek captain let's get down to

00:19:02   the nitty-gritty you are standing on

00:19:04   this bridge staring out at the open sea

00:19:06   for years at a time

00:19:09   let's hear UFO shit and at that moment

00:19:12   all of his crew like all the junior

00:19:16   officers were but they all stare at the

00:19:18   shoes I was like oh the captain says

00:19:22   I've seen lights over the Bahamas that

00:19:27   behaved unlike a ship or plane

00:19:31   mmm unexplained lights over the Bahamas

00:19:34   you must when you're in like coming up

00:19:36   in in whatever the Navy is in Canada you

00:19:39   you must see all you must have so many

00:19:41   hours you spend visually identifying

00:19:43   what something is or what something

00:19:44   could be you must get really good at

00:19:46   that over its all you do I mean there

00:19:48   were there were guys you would know you

00:19:49   would know it would be like all day long

00:19:50   you're inspecting hot dogs and selling

00:19:52   there's a poodle there and you go I

00:19:53   definitely know that this does not

00:19:54   belong here

00:19:55   yeah these guys are standing on this up

00:19:58   with this like 200 degree view looking

00:20:02   out onto a perfectly flat ocean and you

00:20:05   can see to the horizon in every

00:20:07   direction and that's all they do they

00:20:08   just sit there and stare out and

00:20:10   everyone smile they raise some

00:20:11   binoculars to their eyes and they look

00:20:13   out and see I don't know what flotsam

00:20:15   jetsam huh

00:20:17   and so when a sea captain tells me

00:20:19   unexplained lights over the Bahamas and

00:20:21   he says unlike a ship or a plane so that

00:20:24   implies that they're kinda down in the

00:20:25   ship area but they're not acting like a

00:20:28   ship was like okay cat okay see Captain

00:20:32   that's a good story and then I said

00:20:35   what's the taller I said Jesse a rogue

00:20:37   wave and he said I've talked two

00:20:40   captains that have encountered rogue

00:20:41   waves but I've never seen one so that

00:20:44   was interesting that's in a way out of

00:20:45   nowhere that's probably high massive

00:20:48   wave out of nowhere just sitting on a

00:20:49   calm sea and then all of a sudden whoa

00:20:51   super wave and the last question he said

00:20:54   was what's that what's the tallest see

00:20:56   you ever saw and he said I was

00:20:59   captaining a freighter I was Captain

00:21:02   afraid or out of newfoundland i love the

00:21:04   story already and he said I was south of

00:21:08   Greenland

00:21:09   during the perfect storm the outer most

00:21:14   famous one for the movie the famous

00:21:16   perfect storm and he said the bridge on

00:21:19   that ship was 50 feet off the sea and he

00:21:23   said I had to lean forward and look out

00:21:26   look up out the window to see the crests

00:21:29   of the waves my god I was like that's a

00:21:32   good story sea captain I'm I'm really

00:21:35   warming up to you i want to sit here on

00:21:37   the bridge and ask you more questions

00:21:38   but then they show up they shuffled this

00:21:42   away

00:21:43   shuffle shuffle the rest of us away but

00:21:45   we'll wait and stayed behind to talk

00:21:46   about the left

00:21:48   I i stayed in the door to watch their

00:21:50   exchange and the captain was like it was

00:21:52   like to be in stand by me when he was

00:21:54   just super fan i love that it was like

00:21:56   and was like well you know it's been 30

00:21:58   years since stand by me and they both

00:22:00   marvel that bad

00:22:02   well says he's gracious guy though I can

00:22:03   be he handles the situation situation

00:22:05   like that well she is amazing that such

00:22:07   any such as a good fellow

00:22:09   yeah so anyway that was very interesting

00:22:11   but it can friend that you know what we

00:22:13   were in the Bermuda Triangle while we

00:22:15   were having this conversation that's not

00:22:17   smart

00:22:17   we were sailing through the Bermuda

00:22:19   Triangle while I conjured up a alien

00:22:23   stories from the sea captain and I swear

00:22:27   all of his staff got really

00:22:28   uncomfortable we start talking about

00:22:29   UFOs what do you think that is I don't

00:22:31   know maybe maybe the sea captain isn't

00:22:33   supposed to be

00:22:35   he's not he's not supposed to let there

00:22:38   be anything that he doesn't control i

00:22:41   can think of a lot of release a handful

00:22:42   of reasons I mean what with other first

00:22:45   reason if this is a movie was that it

00:22:47   was something everybody saw and agreed

00:22:49   with and it was a known thing that

00:22:52   everybody lots of people had seen and

00:22:54   you don't talk about cuz of America then

00:22:57   the other one would be and we're pretty

00:22:59   sure you didn't really see that and he

00:23:01   keeps talking about a lot haha that's

00:23:03   the kind of thing where somebody

00:23:04   somebody somebody calls the Delaware

00:23:06   boats to you know you know say yeah yeah

00:23:08   yeah well I didn't get the sense that

00:23:10   they were uncomfortable like here he

00:23:12   goes again it was a night just like that

00:23:15   huh but i do feel like they're there

00:23:17   might be some America of the sea like

00:23:20   first rule of

00:23:23   be captaining is don't talk about see

00:23:24   captaining where you're like yeah there

00:23:28   are fucking aliens living under the

00:23:29   ocean behind train hard to train if that

00:23:32   were actually the rules of sea captain

00:23:33   club haha no you just what you walk

00:23:36   around behind another sea captain and he

00:23:37   tells you nothing who you follow him for

00:23:39   long enough so you get you get even

00:23:41   realize that you guys that he was you

00:23:43   the whole time

00:23:44   ok because coming from inside the

00:23:47   captain 00

00:23:52   welcome back did you get to go to that

00:23:55   weird island on haiti where the person

00:23:57   got lost did you go to that we didn't go

00:23:59   to Haiti this time it was a it was there

00:24:01   was it was afraid little I i stayed off

00:24:06   the st. Thomas because i had had a bad

00:24:08   experience last time i went to st.

00:24:09   Thomas not a there was nothing terrible

00:24:11   about it i just had an enjoyable time

00:24:14   uh-huh but I did go to st. Maarten which

00:24:16   aisle which I like a lot and I had a

00:24:19   very nice time in st. Maarten although

00:24:20   my daughter barf

00:24:21   wait a minute you brought your family oh

00:24:24   absolutely haha the whole gang

00:24:26   I I said part of your own merit of the

00:24:27   seeds you never bring your family again

00:24:30   well you know I i have my room which is

00:24:33   provided for me by the choco cruise

00:24:34   where I their death in steerage

00:24:38   where is much more than they all have

00:24:41   cabins right no kinds for normal people

00:24:44   are normal you bring the entire

00:24:45   complement of women in your life i did I

00:24:47   got their break every woman i could

00:24:48   think of all thrilled

00:24:50   let's see there were 12 345 whoa five

00:24:55   family ladies I didn't bring every woman

00:24:57   i could think of that would be a hell of

00:25:00   a weird cruise but I that spreads the

00:25:03   stuff of nightmares look oh my god every

00:25:06   single it says it's a bespoke cruise

00:25:08   where every single person on there is a

00:25:09   woman that you've wronged

00:25:11   yeah right i mean i-i depending if there

00:25:14   was a code of conduct that everybody had

00:25:16   to agree to before we got on the boat

00:25:18   maybe it could be fun cruise but if I

00:25:21   but I get the feeling knowing the people

00:25:23   that I've known they would all agree to

00:25:25   the code of conduct with no intention of

00:25:27   polling it absolutely not i would not

00:25:29   sure and then we can you imagine the

00:25:30   kind of breakout receptions that they're

00:25:33   having it could be regional it could be

00:25:35   a certain time

00:25:36   I'm it could be a certain industry there

00:25:38   there might just be people that you know

00:25:40   work to pursue can they would have a

00:25:41   meeting over here you know well I mean

00:25:43   uh Lido deck on the leader or the ones

00:25:45   that would bump into each other on the

00:25:46   deck and go oh my god you look exactly

00:25:48   like me what does that say oh my god

00:25:51   he'd be like no no totally coincidence

00:25:53   have the doc martin breakout room

00:25:55   everybody free playing games in the

00:25:58   basement when maybe look and they all

00:26:00   have roadrunner tattoos

00:26:05   what if he made you what

00:26:09   oh god that we sell off so yeah that was

00:26:15   fun and you know end of the family uh

00:26:17   the family there were enough family

00:26:20   members that they could entertain

00:26:21   themselves and my daughter was old

00:26:24   enough to go to the what she called be

00:26:28   it was the preschool right they have a

00:26:30   day of daycare preschool fun place for

00:26:33   kids which which she mispronounced as

00:26:37   the Aqua nuts who she was like I'm an

00:26:40   Aquanaut take me to the Aqua nuts i was

00:26:43   like aqua nuts that skeezy is exactly

00:26:46   right and that's when our podcast turned

00:26:48   into cute things the kids say about the

00:26:51   soft-serve machine she ever discover

00:26:52   that she knew all about it she knew

00:26:54   about it long before we got on the boat

00:26:55   was destination for us it was for me

00:26:58   last year the up to get soft serve any

00:27:00   time you feel like it but i only went

00:27:02   there once this time I never want to

00:27:03   johnny rockets a single time

00:27:05   what I basically just sat on the sand on

00:27:07   my balcony and calculated trajectories

00:27:10   for 12-pound cannonballs for everything

00:27:13   that we passed I was like can I hit that

00:27:16   with the 12-pound cannonball could I hit

00:27:18   that with a 12-pound cannonball I spent

00:27:21   a lot of time doing that mhm uh but uh

00:27:24   but yeah I was it was a you know next

00:27:27   year I i want to turn this into an

00:27:30   advertisement an unpaid advertisement i

00:27:32   might add for the Joe Cruz but next year

00:27:35   were where to buy out taking over an

00:27:38   entire boat uh-huh and leaving from San

00:27:40   Diego

00:27:41   uh-huh and so it's gonna be bananas

00:27:44   it's already bananas and so it's really

00:27:46   it's actually a really good idea

00:27:47   yeah it's it's gonna be it's gonna be

00:27:49   totally crazy and we have discussed at

00:27:51   length different stratagems to prohibit

00:27:55   sea monkeys from turning it into a

00:27:58   clothing-optional cruise because I know

00:28:00   they're at least a hundred fifty of them

00:28:02   that would take off all their clothes

00:28:04   the moment they got on the boat we think

00:28:06   so

00:28:06   oh yeah well it's part of the you know

00:28:08   it's part of the sex positivity of of

00:28:11   the overarching doctrine of tourism

00:28:13   which says hey you know like what's the

00:28:17   matter why don't body shame me I want to

00:28:19   be naked right now with this door she's

00:28:21   my flip-flops the worst shoe of all and

00:28:26   so I so I absolutely as soon as it was

00:28:29   as soon as we even started talking two

00:28:31   years ago about taking over whole boat I

00:28:33   was like fucking nerd sex cruise

00:28:36   watch out and so then we started all

00:28:39   talking about it like what are we gonna

00:28:40   do like is if this just turns into a

00:28:43   total Pig pile right like a black guys

00:28:45   sexperiment I'd be like how's that going

00:28:50   to go over their kids on the boat I'm

00:28:51   not sure that I want to go every night

00:28:53   like there's a game room but what if

00:28:54   there was one thing everybody was naked

00:28:56   in the game taking 20-sided die up one

00:29:00   another

00:29:01   no I haven't done shower yeah i know but

00:29:04   i think we've got I think we have we've

00:29:06   covered that now we've discussed it sort

00:29:08   of hope someone openly with everybody

00:29:10   and said like it's family cruise you be

00:29:13   making in your room but you always could

00:29:15   have done that family cruise i bring my

00:29:17   family as previously noted i'm not sure

00:29:20   that makes it a family curse

00:29:21   ah-ah-ah-choo call family family and

00:29:25   that's a terrible word that gets used to

00:29:27   mean too many different things by

00:29:28   terrible people right

00:29:29   I I you could bring kids on that I don't

00:29:33   know if it's the best thing but you know

00:29:35   and it's interesting because what that

00:29:37   cruise seems to have become over the

00:29:39   years is very much its own thing to wear

00:29:41   it seems like an actual also credit

00:29:43   folks who run it like you know

00:29:45   especially with Paul goes through with

00:29:47   the work that he does on that I mean I

00:29:49   know he's not the only one there's a

00:29:50   whole staff but I mean like my god it's

00:29:52   just a huge amount of work to make

00:29:53   everybody's happy as they can be made is

00:29:56   staggering but it really

00:29:57   seems like it's become something how do

00:29:59   I put this in a nice way it's it's

00:30:01   definitely still the Joker cruise right

00:30:02   but it's kind of it's really about the

00:30:05   folks who go on it now and Johnson

00:30:07   doesn't really need to be there for it

00:30:09   to be the Joe Cruz I've been saying for

00:30:11   a few years now that the final the final

00:30:14   iteration of this the final form he will

00:30:18   who of the joco crews will be a where

00:30:22   Jonathan has become a colonel sanders

00:30:24   where he's he's just good he's gone into

00:30:30   the illustration of himself

00:30:32   I get it he's just a hologram he can't

00:30:35   you know you can't wait but you could

00:30:36   hire any a competent professional actor

00:30:39   singer to have to be Jonathan could just

00:30:40   be a guy comes around and seems pretty

00:30:42   nervous you're not sure why yet do you

00:30:44   remember in the late seventies early

00:30:46   eighties when Ronald McDonald suddenly

00:30:49   was a woman or look like a woman I've

00:30:51   seen the hot japanese version a hot

00:30:54   female japanese version of ronald

00:30:56   mcdonald I don't remember is it like is

00:30:58   it like mr. noodle where suddenly was

00:31:00   christened channel with our I'm not sure

00:31:03   I get that reference value and

00:31:04   assessment street huh well of course I

00:31:07   did Sesame Street was mr. noodle off the

00:31:09   love of Christ this little late period

00:31:11   inside its insight i mean with your

00:31:12   child John inside of Elmo's World all

00:31:15   segments where I think that was

00:31:16   initially that nice guy from even shady

00:31:19   past few years ago and then it was Bob

00:31:21   Miller one I forget who came first

00:31:22   builder when the wonderful talented you

00:31:23   know actor and mine guy and then some

00:31:26   point they brought in a minute miss

00:31:28   noodle arm is noodle which is a

00:31:30   Christian channel with the the wonderful

00:31:32   actress and singer mr. noodle mr. noodle

00:31:34   his problem he's having problems you

00:31:36   never you never saw mr. noodle you are

00:31:38   shooting can word confetti out of a

00:31:39   cannon at me right now I have no idea

00:31:42   what any of those words mean I'd

00:31:44   recognize them as English birds really

00:31:47   up from before my daughter was born I

00:31:50   had one exposure to Elmo mhm and I was

00:31:53   like no no no

00:31:55   well he's pretty cute well but this is

00:31:57   about that i'm basing all this on one

00:31:59   exposure right little kids are really ok

00:32:02   alright because i have memories a minute

00:32:04   we were not a giant Elmo house

00:32:06   okay you kids story you've seen on the

00:32:10   show right

00:32:11   I know what an elmo and he basically at

00:32:13   the end he sings us and he sings a song

00:32:15   about whatever the topic was and he

00:32:17   always thinks it to the tune of jingle

00:32:18   bells

00:32:19   so you guys jacket jacket jacket jacket

00:32:21   jacket jacket or like you know whatever

00:32:23   she wants shoebox shoebox whatever is he

00:32:25   sings this little song i do not find

00:32:27   this cute i'm gonna keep are you know

00:32:29   what nevermind you don't get out go

00:32:30   ahead

00:32:31   ok you know a before my dad's family has

00:32:35   a little free penis

00:32:36   no not that I've seen I haven't seen

00:32:37   that episode that might be one of the

00:32:38   Lost episodes

00:32:40   never mind that you don't deserve this

00:32:41   sweet story but because we've seen so

00:32:43   many Elmo's and we always sing the

00:32:45   jingle bells song with my daughter I saw

00:32:47   something red she would point to it and

00:32:49   say haha

00:32:50   and that's how my daughter said read

00:32:51   what she said haha tdawg models it was

00:32:54   really cute

00:32:55   also another key point to describe

00:32:57   something as little she got a cute is

00:33:01   that that it's cute we're big was ok

00:33:04   what's big oh sure that any kids are

00:33:10   awesome huh

00:33:11   so mr. noodle 10 i have kept Elmo as I

00:33:17   have kept Dora told me you always

00:33:20   correct you chose correctly there my

00:33:22   friend

00:33:23   yeah well but at but Elmo to like I love

00:33:25   elmo and Dora together into a category

00:33:28   of thing that I never let pass the

00:33:32   threshold and so I have no I have no

00:33:35   idea what mr. noodle is oh I do not know

00:33:37   the name of Nora's little monkey friend

00:33:39   there Dora or whatever and though their

00:33:42   little whiny voices and they're

00:33:44   massively pedantic version of what a of

00:33:48   like how to communicate with kids it's

00:33:50   excruciating i do not have it in and now

00:33:52   you know that I came downstairs this

00:33:54   morning

00:33:55   oh my God we're turning into a fucking

00:33:56   dad podcast now our dad our dad jokes

00:34:00   have been getting worse and worse at

00:34:02   least mine have but now we're talking

00:34:04   about our kids at that late but I came

00:34:07   downstairs this morning and she was

00:34:09   sitting at the table all by herself

00:34:11   reading aloud from her dick and jane

00:34:12   book all and I i bought the dick and

00:34:15   jane book and said listen to it because

00:34:17   there's all these like how to teach your

00:34:19   kids to read app or whatever you know

00:34:22   and I said I learned to read with Dick

00:34:24   and

00:34:24   name as my mother and father before me

00:34:27   and she will learn to read from Dick and

00:34:29   Jane that's nice can monitor dick dick

00:34:31   sees spot spot runs go spot go o.o spot

00:34:38   spot that's amazing you have read it you

00:34:42   years and you still remember so much as

00:34:44   a no go as well set up any a setup for

00:34:47   the story because i heard this morning I

00:34:48   came downstairs and she's sitting there

00:34:50   all by herself at the table reading

00:34:51   aloud from chicken chain and I was like

00:34:54   there it is there it is all in a

00:34:56   nutshell she'll be fine now she doesn't

00:34:58   need anything else

00:34:59   uh-huh she's been we've sent around the

00:35:00   right path or even told what to read

00:35:02   she's already erased from ready go now

00:35:04   Dick and Jane is not a nice feeling

00:35:06   though that's what I mean the whole

00:35:07   reading thing is a nice feeling

00:35:08   it's very nice but but so she recognizes

00:35:11   what a dora is she knows what an elmo is

00:35:13   too she has seen them

00:35:15   she's seen them in the wild right you're

00:35:17   walking through a you're walking through

00:35:18   a target because a target boy daddy

00:35:21   needs a spatula who and she goes what

00:35:24   you don't get your spatula is a target

00:35:25   you said from like that's not where you

00:35:26   get spatulas no no I would love to talk

00:35:30   about target we I love going to target I

00:35:33   you call it charger no I don't call that

00:35:36   are Jason's making any to I was that was

00:35:39   funny for like an hour

00:35:40   it's like your friends mom who always

00:35:41   says thank you like stop doing that

00:35:44   that's not funny anymore whose friends

00:35:45   mom says thank you thank you

00:35:47   what does that mean oh it's it's a lying

00:35:49   or somebody says oh i don't know i don't

00:35:52   really like Kim Kardashian that much and

00:35:54   she goes

00:35:54   thank you OIC a confirmative thank you

00:35:59   right well I think we've talked about

00:36:02   this before but that do you remember in

00:36:05   the in the mid eighties when all of a

00:36:06   sudden everybody was saying yeah it is

00:36:08   oh yeah we discuss this i have I still

00:36:11   have a lot of these tix I haven't gotten

00:36:13   rid of and I don't want to delve into it

00:36:15   too far because i still have a lot of

00:36:17   terrible ticks that I'm not proud of you

00:36:20   mhm mhm like the sniffing like always

00:36:24   slipping not always sniffing you're

00:36:26   always sniffing your coffee snapping

00:36:28   you've done a hundred and ninety

00:36:29   episodes of the show and you still don't

00:36:30   clear your throat before you pick up the

00:36:32   phone

00:36:33   uh-huh what would that what would that

00:36:35   even entail you don't you're talking

00:36:36   about like before you pick up

00:36:38   I don't know and honestly don't want to

00:36:39   think about it too much I don't know

00:36:41   what it would entail

00:36:41   I love target i love and especially with

00:36:43   the other day we got so much good stuff

00:36:45   I can't tell you how much great stuff we

00:36:46   got a target have you noticed that

00:36:47   target that all the boy clothes and the

00:36:49   girl closer lately sequestered from one

00:36:52   another you do not want to fucking get

00:36:54   me started on this the boy clothes all

00:36:55   of cool cars and and rocket ships and

00:36:58   skulls and crossbones and the girl

00:37:00   closer just like oh no no we walk we

00:37:02   walk right past there's no point and

00:37:04   here's the other thing like I want to

00:37:05   get actually I was gonna get my kid and

00:37:07   we so my kid leaves things on the

00:37:09   playground she forgets her jackets she

00:37:11   forgot jacket jacket jacket you forget

00:37:12   your jacket she forgets her water

00:37:13   bottles were constantly retweet you know

00:37:15   we're working on this right she's great

00:37:16   otherwise but so I'm getting more like

00:37:18   cheap jackets you know there are like

00:37:20   strategy

00:37:21   yeah i mean not cheap i mean but you

00:37:22   know inexpensive because I figure you

00:37:24   know i'm looking for an heirloom jacket

00:37:26   and you can you walk into the girls

00:37:28   section is like everything's pink la you

00:37:31   longer it's all shit it's all you know

00:37:33   they have cool belt they have cool belts

00:37:35   that are fun if there's some cool

00:37:37   underwear but then if you want anything

00:37:40   decent you have to go to the boys area

00:37:41   because they just assume that every girl

00:37:43   is gonna dress like somebody falls down

00:37:45   a well and wait to be rescued

00:37:46   haha so goddamn annoying and it doesn't

00:37:49   go to amazon i say okay I want to get

00:37:50   her a new hoodie only together minecraft

00:37:52   Cudi I want to get her a hoodie from the

00:37:54   cat game i wanna get our machine hoodie

00:37:55   I go and I do a search you don't you see

00:37:57   under clothes you see men's clothes you

00:37:59   see women's clothes and you see boys

00:38:01   clothes unless you search for something

00:38:02   really insipid and fucking pink and then

00:38:06   you get TT he down here there's girls

00:38:08   clouds got a ruffle and it's part of all

00:38:11   people poop

00:38:12   hehe my kids that dress i mean when she

00:38:15   dresses like the other day like to go to

00:38:16   target she wears like horizontal striped

00:38:19   leggings with a foot if really

00:38:22   ridiculously Felix loofah skirt and a

00:38:24   captain america shirt and a headband

00:38:26   with yours

00:38:27   that's how my daughter dresses she rose

00:38:28   whatever the fuck she feels like and

00:38:30   it's unerringly hilarious but she rarely

00:38:33   does is go I want to look like somebody

00:38:35   from frozen

00:38:36   it's just it's so i'm not against frozen

00:38:39   it's just that I'm so tired of that

00:38:40   anyway sorry Donald dad of a daughter's

00:38:43   name that it you won't appreciate until

00:38:44   you're there let alone let alone go to

00:38:47   target to try to find a ray character

00:38:48   but you cannot buy a whole big package

00:38:50   Star Wars boys you can get three

00:38:52   from fucking stormtroopers there's no

00:38:53   ray well that that seems like that seem

00:38:57   like a truly a cultural moment I was

00:38:59   like oh we didn't want we didn't want to

00:39:01   put rate characters out there cuz we

00:39:03   don't want to spoil the surprise well

00:39:04   the movie that the one the star of the

00:39:06   movie is in the set now there's honestly

00:39:08   a hilarious set of force awakens

00:39:10   probably 12 inch size characters and

00:39:13   it's got Finn it's got po it's got a

00:39:16   console is on it's got a stormtrooper

00:39:20   and it's got another storm trooper right

00:39:23   oh yeah but there's no running there you

00:39:25   know i have had an interesting insights

00:39:27   to anonymous stormtroopers in delray

00:39:28   leaving that aside which is which is

00:39:32   incredible array is one of my favorite

00:39:34   characters a contemporary cinema and I

00:39:37   you know we're physically she perfectly

00:39:39   embodies what that movie needed to be

00:39:40   and it would not have been the same

00:39:42   without her

00:39:43   yep yeah she's the fan on the screen and

00:39:45   it was perfect but i had had an

00:39:47   interesting insight you know into the

00:39:49   film you know III I hesitated to

00:39:53   criticize the star wars movie at all

00:39:54   because you know as much as I like it's

00:39:57   like good reasons to not do that

00:40:00   yeah as much as I like getting letters I

00:40:02   i did not want to get any letters about

00:40:04   this but i but I was this this was one

00:40:06   of those things as i was walking I was

00:40:08   walking along and all of a sudden like

00:40:10   an acorn fell on my head and I said wait

00:40:13   a minute why didn't they do it that way

00:40:18   you know that feeling

00:40:19   who when you're like we have sure why

00:40:22   didn't they do it that way i feel that

00:40:23   way about lots of things what was in

00:40:24   this case in this case the hand solo son

00:40:28   yeah right yeah not a fan whose name is

00:40:32   a paco rabanne or whatever Allah Alonso

00:40:39   it's funnier if I don't laugh but that's

00:40:41   the perfect alonzo morningstar which is

00:40:44   your name his name is a rilo kiley yeah

00:40:47   friedrich von solution straße it um his

00:40:51   first appearance in the film is in his

00:40:54   guys right is his guys it's terrible

00:40:57   error terrible Darth warmth or yes or be

00:41:01   worse mark or whatever and you see him

00:41:04   and he appears and you're like okay

00:41:05   is the new bad guy who and then as the

00:41:08   as the film progresses you see that he

00:41:11   is not really in his full he's not fully

00:41:16   in his in his he's not and he's not as

00:41:19   full pokeyman yet

00:41:21   yeah right like when when Darth Vader

00:41:23   and the generals the high-ranking

00:41:26   soldiers have encounters you see that

00:41:28   they are terrified of him who but when

00:41:30   they have no even though we were so

00:41:31   effective in this movie's you understand

00:41:33   that Darth Vader has a boss but still

00:41:35   Darth Vader that everybody scared of

00:41:36   everybody scared of Darth and you're not

00:41:38   sure what his rank is right he's kinda

00:41:41   feels like not a row but not but he's

00:41:43   he's almost like a consultant like he's

00:41:45   been brought in to make sure you rebuild

00:41:47   this fucking death star and this is this

00:41:49   needs to happen

00:41:49   yeah right i mean it and I do not alter

00:41:52   it further in in the way in a way that

00:41:55   he is like he is he's a mini Emperor

00:41:58   right but in the new Star Wars movie The

00:42:01   the paco rabanne character does not have

00:42:05   very much authority right the general is

00:42:07   openly contemptuous of him and he

00:42:10   doesn't really have a very good report

00:42:11   but he's in this like amazing gas mask

00:42:14   costume

00:42:16   yeah I like this place so that was cool

00:42:17   but then as the as the film unfolds the

00:42:21   mask comes off and you see that he's

00:42:23   just sort of a callow male model

00:42:25   uh-huh it's not I mean it was very clear

00:42:28   why Darth Vader wore the mask because he

00:42:30   was hideous least disfigure yeah

00:42:32   anything before you learned all the you

00:42:34   know reckon details of it like you could

00:42:36   tell that he was he was he was messed up

00:42:38   in a number of ways

00:42:39   yeah imagine he needed that to live

00:42:41   probably the mask was breathing for him

00:42:43   and the stormtroopers wore masks because

00:42:44   it wasn't clear whether or not they were

00:42:46   robots at first right totally right for

00:42:49   the longest time we thought they were

00:42:51   robots and then it turned out they were

00:42:52   clones

00:42:53   I mean they were there they were

00:42:54   basically they were they were like nazis

00:42:56   in world war two movie

00:42:57   yeah just like generic people to be shot

00:42:59   but as the film unfolds then the the the

00:43:04   paco rabanne character uses his mask

00:43:07   less and less until he just seems like a

00:43:10   teenager running around very petulant

00:43:13   he's always wearing a bandana

00:43:15   it's like he just wears when he feels

00:43:17   like it and and it's not

00:43:19   explain what the purpose of it is except

00:43:21   that it's just an affectation it's just

00:43:23   like it's just like a have accepted

00:43:24   covers his face

00:43:26   why didn't they start the movie with him

00:43:30   without his mask and that's why nobody

00:43:34   respects him yet he's walking around in

00:43:36   a cape he's obviously a Jedi but he's it

00:43:39   using any single teacher at the very

00:43:41   least four cents and if we don't meet me

00:43:43   tonight Jennifer sorry I'm sorry I'm

00:43:44   sorry I'm sorry I can't believe

00:43:45   registered I'm so sorry

00:43:46   it's no it's quite all right cutting

00:43:47   that out on my own but there's actually

00:43:49   you about Star Wars there's a there's a

00:43:52   reason that he's there and that's

00:43:53   because he has horsepower who write and

00:43:56   but the generals are contemptuous of him

00:43:58   because he can't quite lift them off the

00:44:00   ground and make them choke yet right so

00:44:03   so he's it's some kind of thing where he

00:44:06   is being groomed by the new emperor

00:44:09   right but he's still a kind of a callow

00:44:11   teenager and that's why nobody takes him

00:44:13   seriously and then over the course of

00:44:15   the film we in he inherits the helmet

00:44:20   because something I get it right

00:44:22   why why do it the the reverse way where

00:44:24   we're set up to think like all this guy

00:44:26   looks mean he's gonna be mean and then

00:44:28   over the course the time were already

00:44:30   trying to were already trying to buy the

00:44:33   end of the first film we're already in

00:44:36   this in this mode of like is he going to

00:44:39   be as he savable is he going to be

00:44:41   rescuing ball we didn't even set him up

00:44:43   as like as like a guy who's bitterness

00:44:47   turns him to the dark side increasingly

00:44:50   who we already its he's already like oh

00:44:54   he doesn't know whether it's bad or not

00:44:56   I just feel like come on

00:44:58   well I said something a lot of people

00:45:00   have said about a lot of things related

00:45:02   to star wars that i happen to agree with

00:45:04   and we'll make the short because I just

00:45:05   I can't handle the email but one of the

00:45:08   great things about science something

00:45:10   Syracuse and I talked about in terms of

00:45:11   like why is how it's like fury fury road

00:45:13   in some ways the first Star Wars very

00:45:15   little is done to explain what

00:45:18   everything means through is so much just

00:45:21   pure action and exposition just based on

00:45:23   what you're looking at right now that

00:45:25   the exposition is that like there's

00:45:26   these robots sorry that's just always

00:45:28   that's all we have time to explain why

00:45:29   there's so much story to get through

00:45:30   here right

00:45:31   right then like you know and you know

00:45:32   there's all kinds of things that people

00:45:33   spent years wondering about and so forth

00:45:35   but like what you're describing here we

00:45:37   didn't understand what Darth Vader was

00:45:41   or how he was and we certainly don't

00:45:43   understand what the force was other than

00:45:44   there was a lot of hand waving about it

00:45:46   some kind of cosmic force but we didn't

00:45:47   know how powerful Darth Vader could be

00:45:49   because we need how he can you know what

00:45:52   his weaknesses work for that matter all

00:45:53   we saw was that like oh my god you do

00:45:55   not want to tangle with this guy is

00:45:56   obviously a very scary i mean you can

00:45:58   choke you

00:45:58   you know right right but like you know

00:46:00   the less we knew the more interesting he

00:46:02   was one maybe don't I mean do you

00:46:05   remember feeling like Darth Vader might

00:46:06   have been a robot a magic robot

00:46:08   absolutely very special on the first

00:46:10   viewing like it seemed it

00:46:11   yeah I always assumed the stormtroopers

00:46:14   just because of their movements were

00:46:15   whatever the galaxy far away version of

00:46:18   human was oh you knew that there were

00:46:20   humans inside the Stormtrooper right

00:46:22   well they didn't move like robots if

00:46:24   they want to Telegraph that the robots

00:46:25   it seems they would have handled that

00:46:26   differently so Cylons were post first

00:46:30   Star Wars yes because Cylons were

00:46:33   clearly robot sounds were clearly let's

00:46:36   say a ripoff of Stormtroopers but that

00:46:38   who were definitely robots

00:46:40   yeah right and i think i think that i

00:46:42   was i was coming at it from more of a

00:46:44   like storm troopers were proto Cylons I

00:46:49   see because because again what do they

00:46:53   need to ask for masks are uncomfortable

00:46:56   yeah oh and and it's never it's never

00:46:58   specified like to the masks let them see

00:47:01   a terminator style are the are the

00:47:05   eyepieces giving them additional

00:47:06   information we know we didn't know it

00:47:09   doesn't let them breathe on foreign

00:47:12   planets where there is an oxygen no

00:47:15   don't no idea no idea i love target what

00:47:19   we end up getting we got a lot of good

00:47:20   stuff we've got some great clothes we

00:47:22   did something we don't usually do which

00:47:23   we got her got some branded franchise

00:47:26   clothing for a property that's not even

00:47:28   out yet but I'm all I can already tell

00:47:30   we're going to like it so because you

00:47:31   want to know you want to know what just

00:47:32   happened to me

00:47:33   no one well I was walking across the

00:47:35   room and I accidentally unplugged my

00:47:37   headphones

00:47:38   ok and when I came back you had

00:47:40   completely changed the topic code area

00:47:44   all fast that almost never happens like

00:47:46   that and I didn't hear the transition

00:47:48   right so I was like coming back in plug

00:47:50   in my headphones back it's alright says

00:47:52   utopia

00:47:53   yeah and you were just like anyway just

00:47:55   as as if we had been talking about your

00:47:57   daughter's clothes the entire time i

00:47:58   love target we all kinds of stuff there

00:48:00   we can get a spatula got a lot of good

00:48:02   stuff what do we get what we can get

00:48:04   some clothes for her

00:48:06   we got all we got a little letter areum

00:48:08   don't you know it's nice to get a target

00:48:10   what time do you have a sensitive skin

00:48:12   uh I mean it's you know if it doesn't

00:48:14   get his feelings hurt like anybody right

00:48:16   but I mean your attention but you're

00:48:18   essentially a northern European I i know

00:48:22   i don't want to say too much here but I

00:48:23   i know that you you have to suffer in

00:48:26   silence i know for example that your

00:48:27   head sometimes is allergic to itself my

00:48:29   head and face are both allergic to

00:48:31   themselves

00:48:32   okay and I cannot abide any kind of real

00:48:36   perfume and I cannot use normal soap if

00:48:43   I wash my clothes in typical normal

00:48:46   laundry detergent i will get an enormous

00:48:49   ba complete body heat rash that

00:48:54   sometimes swells my skin up so that it

00:48:57   is like an inch puffier than it normally

00:49:00   is which is that's miserable it is awful

00:49:04   it's terrible if somebody else washes my

00:49:06   clothes I basically have to wash them

00:49:08   again because if I put them on I will

00:49:12   get them in everywhere the close touch

00:49:14   my skin i will get this awful heat rash

00:49:17   that that is like swollen and burns and

00:49:21   doesn't go away i have to lay naked on a

00:49:24   on a cool sheet and fan myself for the

00:49:28   magazine and it is any picture kind of

00:49:31   magazine has to be like well like it

00:49:33   well now I don't get well anymore

00:49:36   I I felt burned bite well yeah but i got

00:49:39   it for a while and I was like twelve

00:49:41   this is this going to be consistent with

00:49:42   horizontal slats are going to get big

00:49:44   greasy yeah i'm going to live in a

00:49:45   shipping container hooray for me and

00:49:48   then after children play into the stairs

00:49:50   boob after a while I realized that it

00:49:52   was they were just taking pictures of

00:49:54   the same house from different angles it

00:49:56   see it took me two years to figure that

00:49:57   out you know I was a male cyclist door

00:49:59   looks familiar that's a really nice deck

00:50:01   wait a minute wait a minute why is that

00:50:03   child has the same toys what this house

00:50:06   as a garage with the same three toys

00:50:08   every child in snow

00:50:10   thank you there was absolutely no

00:50:12   aesthetic variation and after like five

00:50:14   is where Connor keeps his ball and this

00:50:18   is kind of a little milk a reading nook

00:50:20   a reading nook that shaped like the

00:50:22   inside of a parachute not in any era are

00:50:26   are crying the day and no over here we

00:50:29   have our our mud palace and then those

00:50:32   are real things that she's a documentary

00:50:34   filmmaker and she's kind of videographer

00:50:37   used to make apps now he's working on

00:50:39   something you can't talk about you can't

00:50:40   talk about it and tyler loves his little

00:50:42   ball but here's what I get at target

00:50:44   which is sheer free sheer free cheer is

00:50:49   a laundry and sheer free cheer free has

00:50:52   no no chemicals it has no stopping it

00:50:55   has chemical don't know

00:50:56   yeah I think you're free is just I think

00:50:59   so i think a couple of guys go over a

00:51:02   barbed-wire fence to the dumpster

00:51:04   outside of a little suction facility

00:51:06   nice and they get some bags of human fat

00:51:09   and then they render it with lie and

00:51:11   that is what cheer free is so it doesn't

00:51:14   your clothes don't smell like any kind

00:51:15   of perfume and your free get some skin

00:51:17   in the game

00:51:18   yeah it well yeah it doesn't make my it

00:51:20   doesn't make my body attack itself

00:51:22   interesting and introduces like anything

00:51:24   kind of would call an antibody i don't

00:51:27   know i think it might be homeopathy John

00:51:29   you might be doing homeopathy i might be

00:51:31   might take a little bit of human skin to

00:51:33   make your skin not be bothered

00:51:34   interesting but it's at such a micro

00:51:37   dose that it literally can't do anything

00:51:38   useful

00:51:39   maybe it's micro dosing me with LSD and

00:51:41   I'm just don't realize that my skin is

00:51:42   so maybe you're in your maybe your

00:51:44   friend Dick Cheney's bunker I wow I

00:51:49   friends just sparkling to be one

00:51:52   no no ever since we mentioned that the

00:51:55   last time I asked loss again Fred I've

00:51:58   had more Fred Durst mentions in my

00:52:00   mentions then I ever wanted and I don't

00:52:03   want to think about him I do not want to

00:52:05   think about him but so I never know

00:52:08   what's going to endure when we say it

00:52:11   it's we might say that we may see

00:52:12   something wrong like something that's

00:52:13   not even correct we might say something

00:52:14   I ironically like as a joke and that

00:52:18   because what people remember it's a lot

00:52:19   of responsibility it is a lot of

00:52:21   responsibility to have such well to be

00:52:23   fucking head phony award-winning podcast

00:52:25   that's true so this keeps you so you eat

00:52:27   you had a good experience with this and

00:52:29   you can buy a big bottle of it at target

00:52:31   and getting to target

00:52:32   okay yeah I i went to the dermatologist

00:52:33   right I've told you this story and the

00:52:35   dermatologist said I don't know what

00:52:37   your problem is you're allergic to

00:52:38   yourself and I said that's a terrible

00:52:40   thing to say to somebody that they're

00:52:41   allergic to themselves and he said she's

00:52:43   right before you sent someone to the

00:52:44   fucking Mayo Clinic you don't just trust

00:52:46   somebody other office with stuff like

00:52:47   that yeah I don't want to be a boy in

00:52:49   the bubble and he was like now you're

00:52:50   just allergic to your ears skin oil i

00:52:53   was like a skin oil he was like yeah you

00:52:56   can't you know you have to just you

00:52:59   can't just let it sit on your skin

00:53:01   because it will just your body your body

00:53:03   will go after it

00:53:05   ah exchanged our story checks out come

00:53:09   on give me something you know me

00:53:11   something to write on man put your tap

00:53:14   tap tap tap it a little so yeah so I go

00:53:19   to target for that and that's great and

00:53:22   specialist

00:53:23   yeah what else did we get we were gonna

00:53:25   get bowls i didn't like the bowls

00:53:27   oh don't like their blah there's a lot

00:53:29   of things we didn't buy their but we've

00:53:30   never spent like four hundred dollars

00:53:31   that we got a lot of stuff i go up and

00:53:33   down the aisles you know did you know

00:53:34   this about me that when I go into a

00:53:36   store i have to go up and down every

00:53:37   aisle every time it's not it's not it

00:53:39   doesn't it's not OCD it

00:53:41   no certainly not no no no no you're

00:53:44   organized you got it you got away you

00:53:46   like to do things i want to walk down

00:53:47   every aisle and see what's there

00:53:49   how are you how are you going to how we

00:53:51   gonna live with yourself if you go out

00:53:53   of the store you didn't walk down the

00:53:54   one I'll that had something who write so

00:53:57   when I go to costco whatever I go to

00:53:59   costco what's with the anyone who knows

00:54:01   me there like please don't go up and

00:54:02   down every aisle we're just here for the

00:54:04   Trista 75-pound bag of peanut brittle

00:54:07   especially accounting for how tall their

00:54:09   shelves are it's one thing to just look

00:54:11   at eye level but if you look at

00:54:12   everything on the shelves at costco and

00:54:13   account for the people who get the free

00:54:15   samples

00:54:15   that's gonna be a long day my friend

00:54:17   what is it's always a long day you go in

00:54:18   there and you're like do I need 47

00:54:20   sharpies

00:54:22   think about it think about it mm no do I

00:54:26   need what how much do we really need in

00:54:28   life

00:54:29   well it's true but every every once in a

00:54:31   while I was what was the last thing I

00:54:32   went in there I thought I needed

00:54:34   ah it was some kind of like always maybe

00:54:40   one of those ladders that folds into a

00:54:41   scaffold that folds into a like an

00:54:44   origami ladder origami a ladder as seen

00:54:46   on TV

00:54:47   yeah and those are neat i was like maybe

00:54:48   i need that or maybe i need one of those

00:54:50   juicers that goes it's 5,000 rpm the

00:54:52   turns a little turn bricks into a juice

00:54:55   but and it ends up i get the same thing

00:54:58   I get you know get spaghetti sauce and I

00:55:01   get peanut brittle and then I'm out of

00:55:02   there but i still have to go down every

00:55:04   aisle don't have to but I mean right

00:55:07   mm it's like you have to if I go in and

00:55:10   somebody's like you are forbidden from

00:55:11   going up and down every aisle I i can I

00:55:15   can hang with that if I'm if I'm

00:55:17   expressly forbidden i can i can go all

00:55:20   right actually seafood and automotive

00:55:23   and drinks and deli

00:55:26   yep garden supplies oh yeah furniture

00:55:30   for sure

00:55:31   uh-huh i'll definitely office supplies

00:55:33   and safe sorry yeah but socks and and

00:55:36   bedding with the middle you got that big

00:55:37   middle part like the middle part you

00:55:39   know Scott has a lot of like for your

00:55:41   staple type clothes they got to get

00:55:44   pretty good socks again pretty good

00:55:45   undershirts all my underwear was from

00:55:47   costco until very recently when I gotta

00:55:49   I gotta start getting underwear from

00:55:52   this fancy place

00:55:53   oh I get it I get internet underwear but

00:55:55   Abbott is also the I heard the workout

00:55:57   clothes I know how you love to work out

00:55:58   there let's get one up close to get they

00:56:00   probably have BMW pants and get there

00:56:02   let me tell you about the underwear I'm

00:56:03   wearing right now

00:56:04   thank you it is lined are not lined it's

00:56:08   knitted with microfibers of silver it so

00:56:14   people can steal your identity

00:56:15   no no silver is anti bacterial or anti

00:56:20   like silver scares all the the what the

00:56:26   living a biome the biome yeah it KITT

00:56:30   scares the biomes and they get out of

00:56:31   your underwear

00:56:32   so the underwear is like a shirt silver

00:56:36   I don't want to imply don't want to say

00:56:38   it's impregnated with silver now that's

00:56:40   that's all thinking but silver is shot

00:56:43   three shot through with silver there you

00:56:45   go shop through with silver so that and

00:56:48   it feels just like normal underwear huh

00:56:50   but it created your little secret it

00:56:53   creates an inhospitable environment for

00:56:55   all the things that might get in your

00:56:59   underwear

00:57:00   I don't get in there ok so this also i

00:57:03   mean let's be honest that you got things

00:57:05   like issues of contagion and older but

00:57:06   also you keep your junk from becoming

00:57:08   allergic to itself but with the silver

00:57:09   I'm up I'm waiting I'm waiting to see if

00:57:12   that's true but it but it feels like an

00:57:14   act it's an extra layer of protection

00:57:15   and emits a little secret like I'm

00:57:18   wearing silver underwear

00:57:19   yeah right and they're very comfortable

00:57:23   i don't and and you know and maybe they

00:57:28   protect my my nether regions from

00:57:31   harmful rays are you worried about that

00:57:34   and I'm worried about that are praised I

00:57:37   I think about that I think about that

00:57:41   yeah i'm very interested what can i say

00:57:45   about this dad starts and start track

00:57:49   are worried about harmful rays get a

00:57:51   full rate all

00:57:54   Oh John dad you get Joe that's awfully

00:57:57   good thing all my goodness thanks I now

00:58:01   everyone will be laugh-in yeah at that

00:58:06   lay a wreath on that joke I solo most I

00:58:15   lead f MA

00:58:20   more like millennial Falcon berg

00:58:23   millennial for work I knew that if I

00:58:25   released the released the a joke Sam you

00:58:28   okay with just come pouring out like a

00:58:31   like a burst water balloon become more

00:58:34   powerful than you can imagine

00:58:36   so you know

00:58:40   I don't know what to say exactly about

00:58:43   this but I'm mm what's happening

00:58:47   well I'm acquainted with someone who's a

00:58:52   had and having problems with things like

00:58:57   worrying about Ray's oh I'm trying to

00:59:00   learn more about it than just haha

00:59:02   chemtrails right and it's it's super

00:59:05   tough and super interesting there are a

00:59:07   lot of raised well but it's also like

00:59:10   I'm trying to fly I can do this that's

00:59:11   enough said about that except to say

00:59:13   that it is very interesting very

00:59:14   complicated i actually I came across an

00:59:16   interesting thing on the reddit or

00:59:19   somebody said you know you think about

00:59:21   what people talk about especially what

00:59:23   has come to but some people have called

00:59:24   paranoid schizophrenia but some kind of

00:59:27   like an effective thing but you know

00:59:28   your things like people saying they

00:59:30   think their voices right they think the

00:59:32   queen is talking to them that they hear

00:59:34   voices on the radio

00:59:35   addressing them there are teams you know

00:59:38   the there are actually people who do

00:59:40   line hats with aluminum foil because

00:59:42   they don't want thoughts and say its

00:59:44   order to remove all these things that

00:59:45   the sad part of this is the jokes that

00:59:47   we make about this is that the horrible

00:59:49   truth is that there are people that like

00:59:51   believe that more than anything they

00:59:52   believe in the entire world right and it

00:59:54   is really interesting but there was i

00:59:56   just i have a piece and i have read the

00:59:57   whole thing yet but somebody's asking

00:59:59   basically

00:59:59   basically

01:00:00   with what we now call schizophrenia with

01:00:02   those particular symptoms

01:00:04   what did people imagined before the age

01:00:07   of electricity like you're saying

01:00:10   there's so much thought now about like

01:00:11   there are raised that are doing this

01:00:12   there are ways of making you sexy see

01:00:15   certain images insert and remove

01:00:16   thoughts like the all lot of those in rh

01:00:19   come down to electricity

01:00:20   you know what I mean yeah like what

01:00:21   people uh if you like hallucinate before

01:00:25   we had electricity

01:00:26   well you know they're spiritualism was a

01:00:29   big was a big thing right there is a

01:00:31   part of the parent schizophrenia is this

01:00:33   i don't even know that's exactly the

01:00:34   correct term forgive me I don't be i'm

01:00:36   really trying not to be insensitive

01:00:37   about this cuz you know it's it's close

01:00:39   to home but I it's interesting because I

01:00:42   a lot of it does involve the parent part

01:00:45   of the schizophrenia is that there there

01:00:47   it's this very very strong belief

01:00:49   essentially that somebody's fucking with

01:00:51   you right and that the conflict the

01:00:53   complexity of your the way your mind is

01:00:54   working is because something is

01:00:56   happening

01:00:57   well sure but wouldn't that just be

01:00:58   Damon's right i mean before before it

01:01:01   was the man like you bewitched or

01:01:03   something yeah right i mean i don't

01:01:05   think that there's anything specific to

01:01:07   it being like other humans who are

01:01:12   messing with you except that in the

01:01:14   modern age that seems a lot more

01:01:16   plausible been then

01:01:18   Damon's right over people using like the

01:01:23   sorcery right I guess sorcery would

01:01:25   probably okay yeah that checks out

01:01:27   Jack's out and a part of it also then is

01:01:30   that I think the part that makes this so

01:01:32   interesting scary is like the part of it

01:01:34   is that it involves somebody who has

01:01:37   malicious like ill will for you and is

01:01:40   acting upon a person or a group is

01:01:43   acting upon this with you know there

01:01:45   they are after you and they are

01:01:46   organized right and that they're doing

01:01:48   it remotely and that they're doing it

01:01:51   through some means of obfuscation which

01:01:53   obfuscation is part of the very thing

01:01:56   that is messing with you so I mean like

01:01:59   when you I know maybe I'm being precious

01:02:00   about but that's super interesting you

01:02:02   break that down into parts can you

01:02:03   imagine how excruciating that must be

01:02:04   well it's all I believe that more than

01:02:06   you believe anything in the world but

01:02:07   it's the core of the protocols of the

01:02:09   Elders of Zion I mean people have always

01:02:11   attributed that kind

01:02:13   of a malicious intent to the Jews or two

01:02:18   I mean the Jews but and that's you know

01:02:21   that was a convenient the Jews were

01:02:24   convenient scapegoat for all that kind

01:02:26   of paranoia for everyone in Europe for

01:02:29   years and years and years decades

01:02:31   hundreds of years so and you still see

01:02:35   you still see paranoiacs everywhere

01:02:38   attributing all that mind control to the

01:02:42   bilderberg group or whatever

01:02:44   yeah yeah wonder how who oh it was so

01:02:47   would you put chem trails in that in a

01:02:49   pile in the reckoning

01:02:50   I mean the reason that I feel chemtrails

01:02:52   is so remarkable is that it

01:02:55   it's it seems much more like one of

01:03:00   those conspiracies that isn't founded in

01:03:03   an actual mental illness but is founded

01:03:07   in the you know the pervasive American

01:03:12   tendency that a tendency that the most

01:03:17   ignorant people are the ones that are

01:03:19   most certain about their beliefs right

01:03:22   so the people all across the country are

01:03:24   absolutely sure that Obama is trying to

01:03:27   take their guns or whatever the fuck

01:03:29   their current thing is right and

01:03:31   chemtrails are just a part of that which

01:03:33   is like they're so profoundly ignorant

01:03:35   of how things work and so supremely

01:03:37   confident that their interpretation or

01:03:39   the interpretation of the radio a shock

01:03:43   jock that they listen to you see this

01:03:44   partly as somebody who's a little bit

01:03:46   knowledgeable about aircraft well and

01:03:48   how this guy works and how governments

01:03:50   work and happy that you don't like like

01:03:53   the have you ever worked with government

01:03:55   you know the motivation

01:03:58   what would be required to have chem

01:04:01   trails be a project as big as they say

01:04:03   and to keep it all a secret it's just

01:04:08   hilarious and what is the benefit

01:04:10   I mean what would the benefit of

01:04:11   mind-control Pete there's so much mind

01:04:13   control already that's just like right

01:04:15   and you're just holding it in your hand

01:04:17   you're soaking in it right but it's

01:04:19   evident it's right in front of you

01:04:21   there's no nobody's trying to do it in

01:04:23   secret and there's no and nobody's

01:04:25   controlling it like every at

01:04:26   attempt that they make to exert some

01:04:28   sort of i mean i do believe that it is

01:04:33   plausible

01:04:34   I believe that the narrative that the

01:04:36   that the that there is some connection

01:04:39   between drugs and guns and inner-city

01:04:43   violence that feels like it was seeded

01:04:47   by you know seated in some ways

01:04:52   unintentionally the results were

01:04:55   unintentional in enough to the scale

01:04:57   that they were but like the way that the

01:04:59   CIA was drug running and paying for

01:05:02   Nicaragua and giving getting black

01:05:04   plates

01:05:05   well and i think is aids-like and

01:05:07   introducing crack as like the dudes like

01:05:10   don't disposable e directly to play

01:05:13   crack into ghettos idols reasons I don't

01:05:16   think they're clever enough i don't

01:05:19   think anyone at the CIA is clever clever

01:05:21   enough to orchestrate it but I to

01:05:25   orchestrate what happened but I do but

01:05:28   there's enough stuff that has been

01:05:29   documented and the and that narrative of

01:05:32   like black power was real it was having

01:05:36   a transformative effect and then it was

01:05:39   completely like wiped off the face of

01:05:43   the earth by this seemingly like like

01:05:48   blood wave of drugs that came into the

01:05:50   inner cities and the CIA is meanwhile

01:05:53   dealing drugs to fund their covert

01:05:56   operations just like there's just too

01:05:58   much going on there to dismiss it

01:06:01   wholeheartedly and here's here's why I

01:06:04   think is that I mean there was a time I

01:06:07   guess when there were a lot of rumors

01:06:09   and you know and understand like the

01:06:11   what we knew about what the CIA did

01:06:13   before the nineteen seventies was it was

01:06:15   more like what we know the NSA does now

01:06:16   which is we assume everything but who

01:06:18   knows but you know it was it will be

01:06:20   years before we learn a lot about what

01:06:21   the CI had done years earlier so for

01:06:23   example like let's say you heard a rumor

01:06:25   about the extent to which the CIA wanted

01:06:28   to disrupt humiliate and potentially

01:06:31   kill Fidel Castro and it's if you heard

01:06:34   you would hear that you might have heard

01:06:36   these stories that are so outlandish

01:06:37   never going to make his beer trying

01:06:40   make his beard fallout yeah like but the

01:06:42   thing is that apparently they did huh

01:06:45   yeah right i mean this is true didn't

01:06:47   like trying to poison his food they're

01:06:48   all these different kinds of things

01:06:49   aren't shit man look what happened with

01:06:51   that with all the guys in people in

01:06:53   Russia being poisoned you know like that

01:06:55   guy who was basically poisoned by Putin

01:06:57   it's like well it doesn't take that many

01:06:59   stories where you go up geez like this

01:07:01   really is like three days of the Condor

01:07:03   it's really this is bad but all of those

01:07:05   things you can see you can picture a guy

01:07:08   sitting in his desk with a mustache and

01:07:12   he's like he's got an assignment he's on

01:07:15   assignment because i'm fairly specific

01:07:16   assignment to like disrupt with pride

01:07:20   bet for a long time a lot of CIA was

01:07:22   causing chaos disrupt disruption and

01:07:26   lack of trust in a given government

01:07:28   yeah right before you say like we're

01:07:29   gonna send in troops a lot of it might

01:07:30   have been like something as simple as

01:07:32   make the electricity go off a lot so

01:07:34   people don't trust the government it

01:07:35   would be that's an operational thing I

01:07:37   could see people doing at ground level

01:07:38   except you can picture you can picture

01:07:40   five people in a in a meeting room where

01:07:42   they closed the door and goes and then

01:07:45   they totally flip some switch and the

01:07:47   the cone of silence comes down and

01:07:49   they're like okay here's what we're

01:07:50   going to do but you can't picture five

01:07:52   people in a room imagining the scope of

01:07:56   we're going to we're going to turn

01:08:00   colombian cocaine into a weapon to

01:08:05   destabilize the Black Power movement

01:08:07   it's just too it's too

01:08:12   there there are too many things that

01:08:15   have to happen that where the logical

01:08:19   explanation is much it is much simpler

01:08:22   to say simpler and more cost effective

01:08:25   and more secretive way to do it that

01:08:27   didn't require all of those contortions

01:08:28   is is seeding contrails with chemicals

01:08:31   the best way to do whatever it is you

01:08:33   think these people are trying to

01:08:33   accomplish is that the most effective

01:08:35   way to do that

01:08:36   yeah i'm at nana's it's bananas and also

01:08:38   liked the story of the Colombian drug

01:08:41   cartels that where they came up

01:08:43   organically and found a market for this

01:08:45   product and it it you know and there was

01:08:48   a like that is a story Simon and we know

01:08:51   that the CIA in Iraq

01:08:53   did with them but there wasn't it's much

01:08:55   more plausible that was just capitalism

01:08:57   working then that anyone in the CIA had

01:09:00   a big plan right and no soldiers came

01:09:03   back from Vietnam and they've gotten

01:09:04   hooked on heroin in Asia and that was

01:09:09   that seems much more organic and natural

01:09:11   and and plausible than that they were

01:09:14   intentionally hooked on drugs by the CIA

01:09:17   trying to ruin the inner city and so

01:09:20   there's too many steps in a lot of those

01:09:23   conspiracies for it for it to fort for

01:09:28   me to believe that five guys in her in a

01:09:31   cone of silence had the wisdom to

01:09:34   foresee all of this stuff they're just

01:09:38   in their line and keep it a secret all

01:09:40   those all of those steps five guys could

01:09:43   not cause that to happen by the rebels

01:09:45   so there's a guy with the mustache and

01:09:47   short-sleeved white shirts smoking of

01:09:49   cigarette and he's got an idea and it's

01:09:52   never been

01:09:53   he's he never has the authority or the

01:09:56   budget to pull off a big idea

01:09:59   no one could ever say chemtrails and

01:10:01   then have access to the black budget to

01:10:06   create it right he'd have to take it up

01:10:08   to the head office the head office is

01:10:10   going to say well we've also we're

01:10:11   trying to source trying to foment a

01:10:14   revolution in the following six

01:10:16   countries and we're trying to make

01:10:17   Castro's beard fallout you know will

01:10:19   give you a million dollars exploratory

01:10:21   funds or whatever but you know so that's

01:10:24   the that's the main stumbling block with

01:10:26   most of those conspiracies like back

01:10:28   trace it to the to the guy in short

01:10:31   sleeve shirt that had the diabolical

01:10:33   idea and then tell me there's any

01:10:36   organization in the world where he can

01:10:38   where he can get a powerpoint

01:10:40   demonstration up where they give him the

01:10:42   the six hundred million dollars to pull

01:10:46   off his scheme you know right its and

01:10:48   you'll find nobody finds out and nobody

01:10:50   finds out why don't you like the way he

01:10:53   the army cheated like the Chief of Staff

01:10:56   of the Armed Forces doesn't have the

01:10:59   authority to and the director of the CIA

01:11:01   you know they have access to this money

01:11:03   but they don't that it's not like some

01:11:05   kind of

01:11:06   situation where they just sweep into a

01:11:07   room and say here's the plan

01:11:10   you know they're there bureaucracies so

01:11:13   that's the that's the number one thing

01:11:14   that causes me to say 99% of the

01:11:18   conspiracy theories would require I

01:11:22   would require a Blofeld mhm and there's

01:11:26   there just aren't any Blofeld's that we

01:11:29   know of

01:11:29   well I mean I sergey brin alright just a

01:11:34   magic word no that's okay okay we're

01:11:36   gonna do that thing where you from the

01:11:38   internet

01:11:38   oh please this is the story of James

01:11:40   Tooley Matthews i sent you a link in the

01:11:41   robot 1797 he was the first person

01:11:46   documented with what we now called

01:11:48   paranoid schizophrenia

01:11:49   oh and the guy who tended to him was

01:11:51   this guy John Haslem who wrote a book

01:11:54   about what happened with this fella and

01:11:56   the thing that he believed was

01:11:57   tormenting him and you'll see that the

01:11:59   illustration that was made of this thing

01:12:01   called the air low which is the thing so

01:12:04   in the pre active electricity age

01:12:05   this is the machine that was causing all

01:12:07   this trouble so I thought you'd enjoy

01:12:09   this but also would like to read you the

01:12:11   name of the others lot of people of the

01:12:14   book that John has them wrote about this

01:12:15   because it's probably my favorite title

01:12:17   of a book ever

01:12:18   this is often 1810 john hasn't wrote a

01:12:20   book was later shortened to

01:12:21   illustrations of of madness the full

01:12:24   title original title illustrations of

01:12:26   madness exhibiting a singular case of

01:12:28   insanity and no less remarkable

01:12:30   difference in medical opinions

01:12:32   developing the nature of an assailant

01:12:34   and the manner of working events with a

01:12:36   description of tortures experience by

01:12:38   bombs bursting lobster cracking and

01:12:39   lengthening the brain embellished with a

01:12:41   curious plate haha i love the word is

01:12:44   ailment mhm so the heirloom as

01:12:49   illustrated here as well as messing with

01:12:52   this guy the torments included induced

01:12:54   by the Rays of the heirloom included

01:12:55   lobster cracking well which is a

01:12:57   circular saw you get the lobster

01:12:58   cracking under the circulation of the

01:13:00   blood was prevented by a magnetic field

01:13:02   stomach skinning an apoplexy working

01:13:03   with nutmeg grater which involved the

01:13:05   introduction of fluids into the skull

01:13:06   his persecutors bore such names as the

01:13:09   middleman who operated the heirloom the

01:13:10   glove woman and sir Archie who acted as

01:13:12   quote unquote repeaters or active

01:13:14   warriors to enhance Matthews treat

01:13:16   torment or record the machines

01:13:18   activities and their leader a man

01:13:19   bill or the King what you know as you

01:13:23   describe that and and this has been true

01:13:25   i think of is like an HBO show

01:13:27   well yeah Wow actually start writing

01:13:31   that script but uh but his description

01:13:34   of his tormenters is it equips nicely

01:13:40   with how I would describe a some of the

01:13:44   cast of voices in my own head like there

01:13:48   are like characters or invoices not like

01:13:51   hearing voices but like points of view

01:13:53   that you can punch of you that have

01:13:55   distinct personalities yeah from one

01:13:58   another right where were you

01:14:00   you're walking along in here and you're

01:14:02   quietude and some voice says uh it's you

01:14:07   know a dummy over here

01:14:08   yeah it's it's imperative that we do the

01:14:10   following thing and some other voice

01:14:12   says what

01:14:13   that's the dumbest idea we've ever had

01:14:15   and after a while II you have to

01:14:20   acknowledge that these are separate they

01:14:22   have separate viewpoints that and they

01:14:23   have personalities enough to express

01:14:25   them right here

01:14:26   yeah but but i never i do not locate

01:14:30   those things outside my body and that

01:14:34   whatever their torment it just it seems

01:14:38   like a heated discussion there they

01:14:40   aren't like and and in a way I don't

01:14:45   separate myself from them except at

01:14:48   curiously like who are your dogs not

01:14:51   telling you to go out and kill the

01:14:52   people in your mail route or something

01:14:53   right

01:14:54   but but the different personalities that

01:14:56   he describes in that you know just their

01:14:58   character their character names their

01:15:01   kid their player character named feel

01:15:04   very familiar right that the one but the

01:15:06   one that's leading the whole thing named

01:15:08   bill for the king and over the king and

01:15:11   LOL or the King you know uh that the

01:15:13   various other sort of sort of traits

01:15:18   that are implied by those names so so it

01:15:21   it still feels like it still feels like

01:15:24   consciousness and personality are on a

01:15:28   continuum or on a some sort of bell

01:15:30   curve

01:15:31   where the vast majority of people are

01:15:33   not aware of a of a chorus of voices and

01:15:36   then as the as you get the trail off to

01:15:38   a leading edge there are people that are

01:15:40   aware of that of that group of voices

01:15:43   but are managing them and then at a

01:15:45   certain point those voices become become

01:15:48   a distinct enough that they feel

01:15:50   distinct from yourself

01:15:52   well and then there are people that I

01:15:55   guess on the other end who have no who

01:15:58   have a singular voice very dramatically

01:16:02   singular voice that there was that

01:16:03   they're aware of everything that people

01:16:05   who are aware of as the voice that is

01:16:07   them or a singular voice that is

01:16:09   external to them know a singular voice

01:16:11   that they're aware of as themselves

01:16:13   right there is no disagreement within

01:16:15   within their own mind that there is a

01:16:18   that there's a unity of self and and I

01:16:21   guess my confusion is I don't know

01:16:23   whether that unity of self perspective

01:16:26   is at the at the peak of the bell curve

01:16:29   and that's the majority or whether that

01:16:32   unity of self is also a pathology at the

01:16:35   far end well interesting other end of

01:16:37   the scale supernormal quote-unquote or

01:16:41   like a uniquely unusual to just have one

01:16:44   voice in your head

01:16:44   yeah that that that that the that the

01:16:46   mass of people but normal let's say

01:16:49   involve some internal deliberation but

01:16:53   not enough where you're saying that

01:16:55   these are distinctive personalities that

01:16:57   are arguing but more that you're like

01:16:58   you know the devil and angel on your

01:17:00   shoulder right there yeah did there may

01:17:02   be two other perspectives that are kind

01:17:04   of arguing with you but there's not all

01:17:06   these you know i would i would describe

01:17:08   my own mind as having between six and

01:17:10   twelve voices depending on how quiet i

01:17:13   am Who and maybe it maybe your your

01:17:17   normal is is to in a good and evil and

01:17:21   then there and then and then the other

01:17:23   end of it the other pathologies just

01:17:25   this hyper confidence in one's own you

01:17:30   know the certitude of one's own mind

01:17:32   i I don't know enough about and i don't

01:17:35   i'm not sure that it's ever been

01:17:37   investigated or discussed in that in

01:17:39   those terms

01:17:40   but yeah but listening to a lot of

01:17:43   schizophrenic descriptions i feel a

01:17:46   kinship with the words they use I just

01:17:50   don't I just don't know what it would be

01:17:51   like to externalize that and and and and

01:17:57   feel and be victimized by it and you

01:17:59   know it here actually hear voices so

01:18:02   there's nothing in those voices that you

01:18:04   would find yourself feeling that there's

01:18:06   a plausible reason to believe they're

01:18:08   coming from anything except just what

01:18:10   you want my call you

01:18:11   yeah my own my own nothings in like

01:18:15   inserted distorted control their just if

01:18:18   there's just factions of my own

01:18:20   consciousness and it's part of the

01:18:23   mystery of consciousness but but what's

01:18:27   a what what seems it seems what some

01:18:32   troubling is just I mean every once

01:18:36   awhile be in the basement of a house

01:18:38   usually a strange house i'll have

01:18:40   headphones on i'll be playing the guitar

01:18:42   into some kind of you know headphone amp

01:18:46   I'm all tangled banking and I and it's

01:18:48   night stark at night and I'm down in the

01:18:50   basement making rock music in my

01:18:52   headphones and i will hear John from

01:18:56   right behind me

01:18:57   well and I will flip off my headphones

01:19:01   and leap across the room you know

01:19:04   spinning in midair in total combat pose

01:19:07   and I'm all alone and that's happened a

01:19:11   few times

01:19:13   creepy and each time I you know I flee

01:19:15   the basement and I go upstairs kind of

01:19:17   panting and like what the fuck why do

01:19:22   you keep doing that weird voice why do

01:19:25   you keep shouting in my ear when I met

01:19:27   really having fun playing the guitar but

01:19:30   other than that there's you know

01:19:31   nobody's ever liked faster pussycat kill

01:19:34   kill

01:19:35   right and I and I wouldn't know what to

01:19:38   do

01:19:40   I wouldn't know what to do if that ever

01:19:42   happened I don't think I mean I think

01:19:43   I'm long past the point where you would

01:19:45   have an onset of that kind of mental

01:19:47   illness so I am I so I feel like I'm

01:19:50   wrestling with what I've got right my

01:19:51   cards have been dealt and and it's and

01:19:56   it's absolutely manageable

01:19:58   well yeah and more curious to me what

01:20:01   you're describing also is something i am

01:20:02   thinking about an awful lot is that and

01:20:05   it's it's very very loosely at length

01:20:09   kind of related to certain ideas about

01:20:11   mindfulness and maybe Buddhism but like

01:20:13   there's what it's one thing to feel bad

01:20:15   and it's kind of another thing to feel

01:20:16   bad about how you feel bad I feel bad

01:20:18   about why you feel bad and it's strange

01:20:20   because how manageable it can be to not

01:20:23   mind the fact that you don't feel good

01:20:25   today and to kind of accepted as like

01:20:27   well as you know just days good days and

01:20:29   bad days but like the thing that really

01:20:31   drives one if you like crazy is this

01:20:34   feeling that like you're aware of the

01:20:36   badness of how you're feeling

01:20:38   it's not getting any better and it's

01:20:39   going on over time you know what I mean

01:20:41   or you're having this constant you have

01:20:43   enough sort of presence of mind to doubt

01:20:45   your own perceptions of things to where

01:20:48   you don't trust it and you know you

01:20:50   don't trust it

01:20:50   I mean that's helped to me it would be

01:20:52   one thing to get to wear like you're not

01:20:53   even aware of how like you helped me how

01:20:56   about your dimension is or something

01:20:57   like that that's awful for sure but to

01:20:59   like see yourself going oh I I can see

01:21:02   where this is heading it's not good

01:21:04   that's the that seems like the worst and

01:21:06   then you feel bad about of course that

01:21:07   was what was you know that was what has

01:21:09   been happening to me for for several

01:21:12   years right where i would just look at a

01:21:14   situation i go there is absolutely no

01:21:16   despair inherent in this situation

01:21:20   I'm just bringing it I'm bringing

01:21:22   despair into my into mundane situations

01:21:27   right if you if you're having if you're

01:21:29   having a social encounter with something

01:21:31   like that the thing is happening right

01:21:32   now does not have any like valence on

01:21:34   its own like I'm taking this what it is

01:21:35   I'm in my own kitchen making a cup of

01:21:39   tea

01:21:40   there's no there's no despair it's all

01:21:44   it's all in me and and and and in that

01:21:48   sense like the the way that paranoia

01:21:51   factors into it

01:21:53   is it is explainable to me or it's it's

01:21:57   it's I'm sympathetic to situations where

01:22:01   you are you're socializing with other

01:22:03   people and you are bringing despair

01:22:05   because that that the tension when

01:22:08   someone somebody else doesn't understand

01:22:10   you the feeling of isolation from other

01:22:12   people

01:22:13   the the feeling that other people are

01:22:17   sharing love with each other and you are

01:22:20   excluded from that like that all makes

01:22:24   sense to me even if it's even if it is

01:22:26   wrong but I can see where you would get

01:22:29   pulled into that I get pulled into it

01:22:31   all the time if there are five people in

01:22:33   a room there are always going to be

01:22:36   moments where I feel like though like

01:22:38   that they are all sharing in something

01:22:42   that I'm excluded from you and that's

01:22:44   not always true sometimes I feel like

01:22:46   I'm in the center of this of friendship

01:22:48   but i'm always i'm always vulnerable to

01:22:51   getting pulled out of it but if you're

01:22:53   just walking in the forest and looking

01:22:55   at the moss and you feel that that

01:22:58   isolation and that that sense of not

01:23:01   belonging then there that that's where

01:23:05   that's the the bell ringer for me huh

01:23:08   but it's like this is all this is a

01:23:09   disease of the mind and i still may not

01:23:14   allow the joco crews it's always very

01:23:16   complicated because there are a lot of

01:23:19   talented people and they're all together

01:23:21   and there's a lot of collaboration but

01:23:23   there's also a sort of like who's going

01:23:25   to sit at the head table who don't know

01:23:27   yet on of the absolutely who is

01:23:30   you-know-who is Paul Tompkins going to

01:23:32   choose to sit with and so everyone and

01:23:35   to a greater or lesser degrees people

01:23:37   don't care about it but you'll notice

01:23:38   that people do care about it because

01:23:40   they are first in the dining room to

01:23:43   make sure they secure their seat and the

01:23:45   right spot and that and and there are

01:23:48   times when I can be high above that and

01:23:50   just Marvel and laugh and enjoy the way

01:23:53   people are and enjoy the kind of social

01:23:55   and the kind of social craziness her but

01:24:01   there are other times when you're like I

01:24:02   would like to sit next to that person

01:24:04   and chat and instead I'm sitting over

01:24:06   here and

01:24:07   it feels and I feel alone but but on

01:24:10   this particular cruise I had a moment we

01:24:15   were sailing out of a port like a

01:24:17   Caribbean island that I won't name

01:24:19   except to say that it's st. Thomas that

01:24:22   I've already had a bad experience out

01:24:25   and I didn't go ashore so I was on my

01:24:28   boat and I was lobbying 12-time

01:24:30   cannonballs at the port all afternoon

01:24:32   and we're sailing out in the Sun has

01:24:34   gone down and we're sailing past st.

01:24:36   Thomas which is a beautiful island to

01:24:39   appraise from a quarter of a mile right

01:24:43   from offshore it's gorgeous and a at and

01:24:50   the the harbor of amelie whatever the

01:24:56   town is that we go into the it's one of

01:24:59   those perfect harbors we're just like

01:25:00   this is the most gorgeous place I've

01:25:02   ever seen

01:25:03   surely this town is a tropical paradise

01:25:05   and you get onshore and it's just like a

01:25:08   by tanzanite whatever there's nothing

01:25:11   there but as we're sailing out of this

01:25:13   Harbor and I'm what I'm looking at the

01:25:16   sunset on the side of the hill and I'm

01:25:18   seeing all these Caribbean houses that

01:25:21   are perched on the side in a sort of

01:25:24   jungle canopy or I'm not it's not jungle

01:25:27   it's drier but like a a wooded canopy

01:25:31   and it's this beautiful island and I

01:25:34   realized that this was for certain

01:25:38   number of people that was their home

01:25:39   they were they born there and they never

01:25:41   do anything else but for a lot of people

01:25:43   this is there this is their fantasy this

01:25:49   is this this is how they express their

01:25:52   success in life

01:25:53   this is their ambition they worked all

01:25:56   those years in Winnipeg in order to

01:26:00   afford to come to this island and live

01:26:03   in that house and that and the distance

01:26:08   I felt from those people the feeling

01:26:11   that I was looking at this hillside

01:26:12   where thousands of people's fantasies

01:26:15   were expressed in all these vacation

01:26:19   homes and I felt no kinship with them i

01:26:23   would not have a house there as that is

01:26:25   not my fantasy nor my ambition and it

01:26:29   and and different strokes for different

01:26:30   folks right but but I felt so different

01:26:35   from them that I had this sudden like

01:26:39   feeling of tremendous loneliness was

01:26:44   like how how can that be so how can I be

01:26:48   so detached from that whole idea to 21

01:26:54   day end up in a home on st. Thomas where

01:26:57   there's nothing to do but sit on the

01:26:59   porch under a slowly turning fan and

01:27:02   drink gin fizzes nothing about that

01:27:06   appeals to me and and watching that

01:27:09   whole island just sort of like Rob I

01:27:13   felt I felt so profoundly alone that I

01:27:16   had to get out i had to stop looking at

01:27:18   the island had to put on my shorts and

01:27:21   get out of my cabin and go find some

01:27:23   people and go up to sprinkles and get an

01:27:24   ice cream cone because because I felt

01:27:29   such a distance from humanity at that

01:27:31   point and I don't know whether that's

01:27:34   the same reaction or or a you know or an

01:27:38   imbalance one

01:27:39   it feels very it feels very crazy in the

01:27:42   moment but also i can't find fault with

01:27:45   it when i try to explain that I don't I

01:27:48   i find no I find no pleasure there and

01:27:52   that is and there are and I guess what

01:27:55   it was i I just I saw this archipelago

01:27:57   of these places kind of stretching to

01:28:00   infinity like this is one of the top

01:28:04   Human fantasies to retire to a tropical

01:28:07   island and I just was like no no no I

01:28:12   would rather live in a shipping

01:28:13   container buried under sand in the

01:28:15   desert her with Fred Durst and dick

01:28:17   cheney I'm not sure

01:28:20   yeah yeah and it's a yeah and of course

01:28:24   one of the voices will always say like

01:28:25   what's wrong with you dummy

01:28:26   well that's exactly right i quite like

01:28:29   what what is what is your problem

01:28:31   why can't you enjoy tropical island like

01:28:33   everybody else the only person that's

01:28:35   that's not spent their whole life

01:28:36   looking forward to this getting to do

01:28:38   this thing nobody else gets to do that

01:28:40   everybody wants to do

01:28:41   why are you why are you not first of all

01:28:43   why are you such a sad sack like what

01:28:44   how can you not be thrilled to be here

01:28:46   right now

01:28:47   yeah yeah yeah I mean what's crazy about

01:28:50   the joco Cruz is that i love it because

01:28:52   my friends are there and we're making

01:28:53   fun and I think the sea monkeys are

01:28:55   great but to be on that exact same

01:28:58   cruise ship going to that exact same

01:29:00   itinerary where there were not see

01:29:02   monkeys and I was not there with my

01:29:04   friends would be my worst nightmare

01:29:06   yeah and how can you be how can the same

01:29:08   cruise be like so fun and so potentially

01:29:14   miserable at the same time it's a it's

01:29:19   it's really funny you know it's like

01:29:20   what do I want to do I want to go sit in

01:29:23   a cafe somewhere a and drink little

01:29:26   teeny cups of coffee and read like like

01:29:32   I guess really little histories of

01:29:34   things read people's film reviews for

01:29:36   her she should know why what what is

01:29:39   that what is that

01:29:40   well and it's it's funny cuz i mean i

01:29:42   always favored go somewhere that is

01:29:45   primarily a place to go for fun and

01:29:47   relaxation

01:29:47   that's different from the everyday stuff

01:29:49   and like I always feel like I'm doing

01:29:51   wrong and always feel like it takes me a

01:29:53   and probably long time to get into the

01:29:55   spirit of whatever it is and not just be

01:29:57   somebody rolling their eyes on the

01:29:58   sidelines

01:29:59   no matter what I always feel that way I

01:30:02   can't ever go anywhere once it looks

01:30:05   just called vacation even though it may

01:30:07   be something as simple as like just

01:30:08   standard hotel for weekend somewhere I

01:30:10   can't go anywhere once and be good at it

01:30:12   I have to go there like three times to

01:30:14   understand how to be somewhere like

01:30:16   learn like what expectations to have

01:30:18   here is the kind of fears the kind of

01:30:19   activities that this place is excels at

01:30:22   and here's the many many many other

01:30:24   kinds of things that are just not a good

01:30:25   idea to try and do here stop trying to

01:30:26   get a good internet connection that's

01:30:28   not expecting that this will be an

01:30:30   authentic hamburger now go sit on the

01:30:32   beach and drink a drink

01:30:33   that's what this place is good for that

01:30:35   might take me three quarters of the

01:30:36   vacation to figure out but it also and

01:30:39   so it makes me feel like a terrible

01:30:40   person but it also makes me a student of

01:30:42   all the other people who are doing it

01:30:44   nowhere

01:30:44   way like to get to our cabin we had

01:30:46   walked past the guest account the

01:30:48   library you know whenever you know I

01:30:50   mean like there's an area walk past a

01:30:52   little can follow the novel exactly i

01:30:54   mean it is it's like a bunch and

01:30:56   rulebooks it's up on you know it's it's

01:30:58   under some guys boardgames and you would

01:31:01   walk by there and see people who like we

01:31:04   got a free cruise for doing this so we

01:31:06   were there free so any I think least you

01:31:09   know I was not felt like I was losing

01:31:10   money which is another terrible feeling

01:31:12   is going somewhere indication realize

01:31:13   you're paying to go to awkward somewhere

01:31:15   and but this room probably folks who are

01:31:18   paying a pretty good amount of dough to

01:31:19   be on this trip and a lot of times it

01:31:21   wasn't sea monkeys with other folks who

01:31:22   are not affiliated with that part of the

01:31:23   group anyway not unusual to walk by and

01:31:26   see like three to 10 people like sitting

01:31:33   in the deck of a ship like reading a

01:31:36   borrowed book in a library so I mean no

01:31:39   these are not enough folks who are like

01:31:41   like on the deck reading the book they

01:31:43   brought these are people who are picking

01:31:44   a can follow book off the shelf and

01:31:46   reading it in a airless room inside of a

01:31:51   cruise ship and I assume they're having

01:31:53   a good time

01:31:54   yeah they're doing what they want to do

01:31:55   right now or for that matter let's let's

01:31:57   talk about like the was obviously a huge

01:31:59   change in focus i guess over the years

01:32:00   is the amount of gaming that goes on

01:32:01   there are a lot of people who are like

01:32:03   one of the lowest decks of the ship like

01:32:05   in in the in a room with artificial

01:32:07   lighting playing board games and having

01:32:09   the time of their life

01:32:10   yeah which is a bit but it's a very

01:32:12   lively atmosphere very good arias and

01:32:14   warm and every single person I met down

01:32:16   there they're all weirdos they were all

01:32:17   great they're all playing come to done

01:32:19   shower or whatever and they are totally

01:32:20   excited to explain everything like would

01:32:22   you like to play we would be happy to

01:32:23   explain this game to you

01:32:24   well as their server social with each

01:32:26   other right i mean they're having having

01:32:28   so much fun great time because they

01:32:30   found they found kindred spirits and you

01:32:34   know and they don't have to i'm I I when

01:32:36   I look at that game room I i see a lot

01:32:38   of those people and I imagine them in

01:32:39   their hometown getting a few friends

01:32:42   from work over and saying hey you know

01:32:45   let me show you how to play settlers of

01:32:47   catan and their friends from worker like

01:32:50   huh weird okay and they play it and then

01:32:53   we play that iphone game we saw on Ellen

01:32:55   yeah right the other half hearted

01:32:57   about it and they're like me or I mean

01:33:00   the and the best situations are ones

01:33:01   where it's where it's a couple and they

01:33:03   both are really into gaming but that

01:33:05   feeling that they're coming from all

01:33:07   over where they're like I've kind of got

01:33:09   my little game group but you know to the

01:33:11   people only come half the time and

01:33:14   suddenly they're in a room where

01:33:15   everybody is just as everybody

01:33:18   recognizes that these games are as fun

01:33:21   as I think that they're they're excited

01:33:24   but they may be very excited about or

01:33:25   even maybe say having developed of one

01:33:27   of those games or work on the King so

01:33:28   they're excited about that game but

01:33:30   they're also excited about many of the

01:33:31   other games but there it strikes me that

01:33:33   they are equally as excited that

01:33:35   everybody here is excited about games

01:33:37   yeah yesterday just the idea of a bunch

01:33:39   of people and this is a big thing in

01:33:41   nerd culture is that there is like a

01:33:43   good very big tent for letting everybody

01:33:46   in his even vaguely interested in this

01:33:48   and like that's ok it's a really nice

01:33:49   part of their culture it one of the

01:33:53   things that happened on the last cruise

01:33:54   and i'm not sure if you were there but

01:33:56   it happened again on this cruise was Ted

01:33:57   Leo reading aloud from the silmarillion

01:34:01   heard about this yeah and he did it on

01:34:04   the first cruise and i was there you

01:34:06   know kind of sitting at his feet because

01:34:09   i want I i wanted to understand what Ted

01:34:13   Leo was getting out of it and so I was

01:34:16   like all right ne-yo really wants to

01:34:17   read aloud from some really and I'm

01:34:19   gonna go watch this because I you know

01:34:22   like I'm curious about this guy and I

01:34:24   want to see what what what he's on about

01:34:26   and it turns out ted leo is a very

01:34:31   articulate reader and he knows how to

01:34:35   pronounce Elvis names

01:34:37   wow he's he reads elvish names without

01:34:42   any hesitation and he you know he has a

01:34:46   kind of east coast accent ec definitely

01:34:48   sounds like somebody from the east coast

01:34:50   he sounds like a person a Connecticut

01:34:53   person and not a fancy Connecticut

01:34:56   person but he's reading this is reading

01:35:01   The Silmarillion and I was transported

01:35:03   like it was like I was a child being

01:35:06   read to and I knew enough of this story

01:35:10   that I was

01:35:10   like I was floating away on it and he

01:35:13   was reading from it with such care and

01:35:15   such conviction and i think that the

01:35:20   cast of people that showed up to that

01:35:22   first reading of the similarly and where

01:35:23   a lot of you know a lot of the cooler

01:35:27   people on the boat who are like ted leo

01:35:30   yeah let's go listen to Ted Leo read

01:35:32   about the superintendent and somebody

01:35:34   might be something like he's here he's

01:35:36   catering to the pandering to the nurse

01:35:39   yeah he's on this boat and he and and

01:35:41   he's got this nerdy thing that he's

01:35:43   going to do and haha but he was utterly

01:35:46   sincere read this book aloud as though

01:35:50   he had read it aloud every day of his

01:35:51   life and you know and breezed through

01:35:54   that Tolkien ease a sort of almost Old

01:36:00   Testament style of writing and and made

01:36:03   it can make the story come alive and so

01:36:05   this year when he said he was going to

01:36:08   do it he was no longer kind of doing it

01:36:10   up in the cool bar he was down in the

01:36:12   game room in a in a conference room off

01:36:17   the side of the game room in a totally

01:36:19   windowless place the only reason you

01:36:21   would ever go there's because you were

01:36:23   on the cruise with like a Midwestern

01:36:26   sales force and this was where they were

01:36:30   having the powerpoint demonstration

01:36:31   right that right the cruise ship has

01:36:33   that stuff on there because that because

01:36:36   they cater largely to conventions and so

01:36:42   I go in the room and at this point

01:36:44   almost everybody in the room is not a

01:36:46   cool person who's there to see ted leo d

01:36:49   something slummy it's a bunch of people

01:36:51   that want to hear the silmarillion read

01:36:52   aloud and the the room looks very

01:36:55   different

01:36:56   you can hear a pin drop in there and he

01:36:59   again reads like so so artfully from

01:37:08   this book he's telling the story and you

01:37:09   know that we've talked about the

01:37:11   silmarillion it's it can be impenetrable

01:37:13   huh

01:37:15   but he's telling the story and you can

01:37:17   feel the tragedy in it and you can feel

01:37:19   his

01:37:20   and he never missed you never makes a

01:37:21   mistake he never gets halfway through a

01:37:23   sentence i believe and starts over again

01:37:25   right

01:37:26   he's just like he's he's gifted and I

01:37:30   had another expect another one of the

01:37:32   10,000 experiences I've had interacting

01:37:34   with that group of people it's like this

01:37:37   is actually a real thing this has

01:37:38   nothing to do with being a nerd

01:37:39   this is a this is a beautiful moment and

01:37:43   and that's what that's what those are

01:37:46   all the touchstones of the jungle cruise

01:37:48   for me when I'm with a group of people

01:37:49   who are who are enthusiasts about a

01:37:51   thing and then I realized that oh

01:37:54   they're sharing in a moment of of human

01:37:56   beauty that kind of his unrelated it has

01:38:00   nothing to do with like the medium it's

01:38:04   it's ultimately the message and it isn't

01:38:08   a case where the medium is the message

01:38:10   that the medium is is just the it's just

01:38:13   the box so i think the captain saw we

01:38:21   saw those lights fucking infos likessee

01:38:26   doesn't I bet John I bet he doesn't tell

01:38:28   everybody that story I got a feeling I

01:38:30   got a feeling that was kinda special

01:38:32   well yeah i think so too and as we know

01:38:34   as we left I couldn't think of any more

01:38:40   questions that i wanted to have an

01:38:42   answer from a sea captain about like

01:38:44   what's the weirdest shit you ever saw

01:38:46   float up out of the ocean who rogue wave

01:38:48   to grab rogue wave have you ever seen

01:38:52   anything you couldn't explain and what's

01:38:54   the biggest see you've ever been in like

01:38:57   what else are you gonna say maybe save

01:38:59   somebody from quicksand

01:39:00   oh I did I did say you ever pick people

01:39:03   up at you ever give her as your scanning

01:39:05   this the Seas with your with your

01:39:07   pleasure your camera nice captain eyes

01:39:10   never find a guy floating and honor on a

01:39:13   rikki-tikki-tavi know and he's like yeah

01:39:17   we picked people up all the time

01:39:18   oh and the other thing i said was GRC

01:39:21   dark ships boats that have no callsigns

01:39:24   boats that have no running lights danger

01:39:30   boats and he said the only boats we see

01:39:34   that are like that our Coast Guard boats

01:39:38   that are out here lurking

01:39:39   oh wow and and when we try to hail them

01:39:44   or like Heil boat they go

01:39:48   Shh get off and we tease them we teach

01:39:53   them by getting on the radio and saying

01:39:54   like aloha and they're like ixnay ixnay

01:39:58   because they're out lurking around those

01:40:02   Islands trying to find like fast boats

01:40:04   who but but when I you know it dug a

01:40:08   little deeper and I was like no no I'm

01:40:10   talking about I'm talking about some

01:40:11   dark dark ocean but that the tour of the

01:40:16   ocean

01:40:16   oh ok i didn't know about this right

01:40:18   yeah like just what you see is just the

01:40:22   tip of the iceberg you know what I'm

01:40:23   saying sure I mean it's like now

01:40:25   no no it's just always it's always the

01:40:27   Coast Guard this running around without

01:40:28   their running SI nai what he's saying

01:40:30   that he tells you well that's the thing

01:40:33   i mean it

01:40:34   we were we were pretty chummy at that

01:40:36   point and I was you know I was kind of

01:40:38   lean in a little bit i was like come on

01:40:39   who's out here and he just he didn't

01:40:45   blow it off like you know usually

01:40:47   somebody in that position if they're

01:40:49   going to blow something off because

01:40:50   they're not supposed to talk about it

01:40:51   they give you a little hint i know i

01:40:53   think he's protecting you

01:40:54   I think he likes you and he likes will

01:40:56   especially well let's be honest let's be

01:40:58   I think he's I think he's protecting you

01:41:00   he doesn't want you to know too much I

01:41:02   mean certainly doesn't want the

01:41:03   information trace back to him but he

01:41:04   also doesn't this you're not ready for

01:41:06   this you're not ready to hear this yet

01:41:07   maybe he's saying that he sees

01:41:09   unexplained lights you don't think you

01:41:11   would give me a little wink as he said

01:41:13   like no there's no dark boats out here

01:41:15   the darkness might have his wife in the

01:41:16   closet with a gun to her head or

01:41:18   something or similar whatever boat does

01:41:19   in order to like you know I you know get

01:41:22   you to do something on the secret form

01:41:23   he thinks there may be microphones on

01:41:26   the bridge of the freedom of the seas

01:41:28   maybe he knows there's microphones on

01:41:29   the bridge in the Freedom of the Seas

01:41:30   right you might have been very clear

01:41:32   about that you know we're listening

01:41:35   every time somebody hits the button in

01:41:37   the bathroom and my god I wouldn't have

01:41:38   to watch that using james earl jones

01:41:41   reaches over and pushes the

01:41:43   that button and the torpedo explodes

01:41:44   just shy of the boat and he says this is

01:41:47   the last we're going to talk about this

01:41:48   which movies at the dr strangelove dr.

01:41:51   Strangelove was the one where the James

01:41:54   Earl Jones wrote a submarine down and it

01:41:57   exploded in a and it's his grandsons

01:41:59   pucker up on right

01:42:03   no it's not that yeah i think that

01:42:05   captain would give me a little wink he

01:42:07   just he seemed he's from fucking

01:42:09   Winnipeg true right what does he have to

01:42:12   what I mean what's he going back to ya

01:42:15   right yeah it goes home or somen feeds

01:42:18   his sled-dog or whatever

01:42:20   only you understand me up you know my

01:42:24   secrets of the first

01:42:32   [Music]