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0:00:27beautiful
0:00:27[Music]
0:00:32hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going
0:00:37good
0:00:39ok happy Monday I feel like bears this
0:00:46morning that the dancer in that band
0:00:48yeah that's right the Happy Mondays wow
0:00:50he's the dancer professional the
0:00:53accompanying dancer is EOD startup
0:00:56professional or when they must just
0:00:58invite him on stage to do a little dance
0:00:59I think he probably invited himself
0:01:02onstage
0:01:03yeah there was another band here in the
0:01:06northwest that had had their own dancer
0:01:09I i'd love to hear why feel like best
0:01:12but also i am a fan of band to have a
0:01:15superfluous dancer on stage I like that
0:01:17how many do you know it depends on how
0:01:20you define it i think bob from pavement
0:01:21kind of started out as a guy doing dance
0:01:24onstage
0:01:24you're right i think you're right then
0:01:26they gave him a stick right the other
0:01:28day and they might give him a stick he
0:01:30used to be the old drummer supposedly
0:01:33used to lake and out food at the door
0:01:34like sugar babies hand Gary's that his
0:01:37name Carrie Carrie Carrie so many
0:01:41cherries and they're all wonderful and
0:01:43then there was at the time of course
0:01:44like and then the sixth easy to have
0:01:45people dancing on stage I think it was
0:01:47just part of the people really used to
0:01:48put on a show that's right there was a
0:01:52Portland bank old hazel which was the
0:01:55peak krebs band and they had a dancer
0:01:58named fred fred was a little bit older
0:02:01than everybody else in the band and the
0:02:03thing i would think about them is that
0:02:05they were just an indie rock band you
0:02:06know they were there were excellent
0:02:08indie rock band i remember the name very
0:02:10much
0:02:11yeah but they had a great land like a
0:02:13middle-aged guy with the long beard
0:02:14dancing on stage with them which at the
0:02:16time was quite it quite a spectacle
0:02:20now what you expected yeah well I like
0:02:23to circle back to this can ask why I
0:02:24feel like that's today
0:02:26mmm jayla wind it no no let me tell you
0:02:30so in my office now i have to rig a key
0:02:37curing you kind of Kuric a cure egg
0:02:42and so I spent I was a little bit late
0:02:44to the program 15 minutes late because
0:02:46that was the 15 minutes it took me to
0:02:48figure out my care reg was this your
0:02:50first of the first pole first one
0:02:53sorry I'm saying I'm drinking it I'm
0:02:55drinking it out of a mug that says my
0:02:56own picture on it because that was the
0:02:59only mug that I had here
0:03:00uh-huh and hand it's delicious it's
0:03:05delicious it's nutritious it's my own
0:03:07coffee my own copy in my own strange
0:03:10little packet coffeemaker I'm into it
0:03:13though
0:03:14yeah here I go was it a gift oh nice
0:03:18oh the call coffee
0:03:21it was it was Christmas present and it's
0:03:27simple just Merlin it just simplifies
0:03:29the process of making coffee so much all
0:03:32you have to do is just push like 14
0:03:34buttons wait wait 11 minutes yeah I
0:03:38don't want to rain on your parade
0:03:39there's there's there's a few things I
0:03:41really really like about the keurig and
0:03:43then like a very large number of things
0:03:45I don't like about it
0:03:46mhm but it's me as a new keurig keurig
0:03:49owner
0:03:50I'm very very curious well I you know
0:03:52maybe I should not hold back i don't
0:03:54want to sour your experience of it
0:03:56milady works in a job at a fancy office
0:03:59and it's got lots of nice perks she can
0:04:02like walk to the gym you know she got a
0:04:04standing desk hundred rooms a lot of
0:04:07turquoise turquoise it's the kind that's
0:04:08why you get a job for the perks I think
0:04:11when you get a job in you know in her
0:04:13case medicine and education there's a
0:04:15lot of parks free medicine but she's got
0:04:21a Keurig machine the reason we ended up
0:04:23getting a Keurig machine she has one in
0:04:25her work place where she can walk a few
0:04:26steps go to the little kitchen and the
0:04:28thing about her current machine is its
0:04:30got like a dedicated waterline whoa it's
0:04:33a it's a it's a plugged in your eggs you
0:04:35can you imagine how that changes
0:04:37everything with fuckin changes
0:04:38everything
0:04:39you walk up to get one of these little
0:04:41buckets it looks kinda like a
0:04:43giant-sized cisco creamer
0:04:44yeah he drop it in an incredibly sharp
0:04:47needle goes into it and then it scored
0:04:48some coffee for you
0:04:50yeah it'sit's the the thing i will say
0:04:52about the keurig it is when it works is
0:04:54it is insanely can
0:04:55distant mm inconvenient consistent
0:04:59convenient those are two things that I
0:05:00want
0:05:01yeah because I a man you know I'm here
0:05:04and at the office and sometimes I want
0:05:08another cup of coffee but it's a long
0:05:09way to get a cup of coffee here
0:05:11well can I ask you about your iOS too
0:05:14much better office for a variety of
0:05:15reasons but what is the basic setup in
0:05:17terms of amenities I assume that you
0:05:19have a desk with your mac on it
0:05:21you've got probably a lot of empty
0:05:22amazon boxes there starts true and so
0:05:26what what is the setup for things like
0:05:28you know I'm always interested in
0:05:29bathrooms your bathroom set up what's
0:05:31the kitchen and food setup as the
0:05:34refrigeration could you give a rough
0:05:35idea of what today is like for you in
0:05:37terms of the amenities and perks
0:05:38absolutely so my offices as you know
0:05:41constructed in a former immigration
0:05:44prison
0:05:45wha well yeah that really honest
0:05:49well so it's a it's a beautiful art deco
0:05:52building that was built to house
0:05:57foreigners that we just we determined we
0:06:02did not want to just roam around so this
0:06:06was in the this was pre World War two
0:06:09when the biggest sort of problem the
0:06:14biggest immigration problem here in
0:06:16Seattle I think we're Chinese and and
0:06:19other sort of asian being Filipino knows
0:06:23they were coming in the working on ships
0:06:26and then they were trying to emigrate
0:06:27and and we had some issue with that so
0:06:30this was the new this was the new prison
0:06:32at the time I think before that they
0:06:33were just you know people whose
0:06:36immigration status was unclear
0:06:38we're just held in warehouses or Worf's
0:06:41and in addition to being the new
0:06:43immigration prison it was also the
0:06:46assays office so if you wanted your if
0:06:49you wanted your poke of gold assayed
0:06:53would also bring it here if you wanted
0:06:56your little if you wanted your your or
0:06:58if you are not recognized at the rim you
0:07:00can bring in what you find and let you
0:07:02know if it's a good claim
0:07:03oh well they will actually yeah they
0:07:06will tell you I'll tell you what you're
0:07:08golden
0:07:08going for like it it's a well put it on
0:07:12the scale in other words wow wow
0:07:15and so it continued in that role and
0:07:19then the war came
0:07:20so there this was not I mean they they
0:07:24decided that they were going to deport
0:07:25all of the japanese-americans two camps
0:07:28and this was sort of the headquarters of
0:07:31that process also did started out more
0:07:35like Vito Corleone in a room and became
0:07:38more like a halfway house to getting
0:07:41people to those camps during the war and
0:07:44I'm a nap after the war successive waves
0:07:47of people immigrating to Washington
0:07:50created a you know sort of like a your
0:07:53immigration statuses you don't have a
0:07:56passport for you don't you know you are
0:07:59applying for asylum here and it was a
0:08:02kind of place that that the goal was to
0:08:05process people through it but a lot of
0:08:08times you find people who just need to
0:08:11be deported to their original country
0:08:14okay sometimes you find people where
0:08:17they are original company doesn't her
0:08:18country doesn't want them back and
0:08:21that's where you get people in a limbo
0:08:22state America wants to send them away
0:08:26and then no country wants them i got and
0:08:30so then they live in a limbo state where
0:08:32they are locked in this prison until
0:08:36they are until their statuses resolved
0:08:38and as you can imagine the the people
0:08:40whose job it is to resolve that status
0:08:42are underpaid and overworked and harried
0:08:46and so forth by talk about being stuck
0:08:47in the system
0:08:48yeah and so there there were for many
0:08:51years people that just lived in a prison
0:08:53and there was no they they continue to
0:08:56have no status remember that guy that
0:08:57lived in the airport he lived in he
0:08:59landed in in the New York City edited
0:09:03JFK I really needed they made a movie
0:09:05about him because he is an international
0:09:07airport and he couldn't couldn't get out
0:09:09he couldn't go anyplace else
0:09:11yeah right he just was stuck in this
0:09:13like in-between State so this prison you
0:09:18know developed a reputation as being a
0:09:20pretty bad place
0:09:22it's because there are people stuck here
0:09:23for years and that no recourse to any
0:09:26law so as time went on you know then
0:09:29there were then there were a lot of
0:09:32latin american people here and a lot of
0:09:34Muslim people here and at a certain
0:09:38point after nine eleven it was
0:09:41determined that this prison wasn't big
0:09:43enough we needed to build a new prison a
0:09:48super-big state-of-the-art prison to
0:09:51house all of the new people that we were
0:09:53going to hold that to come in Northwest
0:09:57detention center that's the one and so
0:09:59this was the Bush era when we were a
0:10:01building a lot of prisons and behold a
0:10:03lot of people and so they they're here
0:10:06was this there's this enormous
0:10:07terracotta prison right in the center of
0:10:11Seattle's international district that no
0:10:13one knew what to do with so they just
0:10:14surplus it i just sold it to some dudes
0:10:17and the dudes thought oh man it's very
0:10:22cool building they were like oh well
0:10:24we'll set it up with t1 lines and it'll
0:10:26be a super rad tech office
0:10:30Wow and then the tech crashed sure and
0:10:38they said you know what
0:10:40rather than do that we're just gonna
0:10:43throw up some drywall and ran into a
0:10:46bunch of artists because right at that
0:10:48time Seattle's pioneer square
0:10:49neighborhood which had formerly been the
0:10:51art artist loft place was being swept
0:10:55with a with a wave of gentrification and
0:10:58all the artists were getting pushed out
0:11:00there was a place called The Washington
0:11:01shoe building which was an old shoe
0:11:04factory and it was that kind of artist
0:11:06hive where you walk in and the walls
0:11:09were all wackadoodle and people were
0:11:11having crazy parties like wonderful
0:11:14wonderful art parties and people living
0:11:18in there illegally and you know and
0:11:19making art so a lot of the old
0:11:23respectable artists that have come up in
0:11:26the Washington shoe building just moved
0:11:28over to this place which was formerly
0:11:31the
0:11:33what they call it the lioness building
0:11:37and the new owners change that too in
0:11:40escape so IMS case inscape so no t1
0:11:49lines know uh amenities really of any
0:11:54kind and my office is a corner office in
0:11:56what was formerly the men's dormitory
0:11:59where people lived in bunk beds in a
0:12:05giant you know holding place where I
0:12:09think they lived for a long long time
0:12:10there were bars on the windows
0:12:12I'm up on the top top floor so and and
0:12:17you know there are stories of guys that
0:12:19like climbed out on the on the ledge and
0:12:22jump to their deaths because it was so
0:12:25abysmal here my god
0:12:27and now some artists have turned the
0:12:30inscape building into a living museum
0:12:34where they commemorate all of the areas
0:12:37of of its prison dumb and there are all
0:12:43kinds of art parties here now and it's a
0:12:46and on my floor like painters and
0:12:50photographers and there's a woman that
0:12:52does a wonderful thing which i'm sure
0:12:54you know about which is she goes into
0:12:57business meetings and she diagrams the
0:13:00meeting what maybe you don't know about
0:13:02this yeah I love it out it's a kind of
0:13:04art but also a business strategy where
0:13:11they're having a meeting and she is kind
0:13:13of simultaneously like turning the
0:13:15meeting into a big a flow chart e wall
0:13:23art thing which then allows you to look
0:13:25at the meeting in and like a whole piece
0:13:29of data data art Wow
0:13:33I and let's see there's a woman next
0:13:36door who is I mean there are a lot of
0:13:39like the encaustic sculptor type people
0:13:44who are melting wax and burning things
0:13:46Potter's but what that means is an
0:13:52industrial sink halfway down the hall
0:13:54over a dormitory bathroom at the far end
0:13:59of the hall from me and no kitchen no I
0:14:04mean you just have to build your own
0:14:05little kitchen in your own place so if
0:14:07you want running water you gotta go to
0:14:08the sink you go to the sink to go
0:14:10ok alright you gotta go down the hall to
0:14:13go to the bathroom which is like shared
0:14:17yeah yeah I know and I mean but it's
0:14:20kept its kept reasonably clean there's a
0:14:22there's a manager here that sort of it
0:14:25does a a pretty darn good job of running
0:14:28heard on everybody
0:14:30the free pile is pretty amazing down in
0:14:34the basement right now i would say the
0:14:36free pile has gone to shit people are
0:14:38just dumping trash there but over the
0:14:40years like you know you find a dentist
0:14:43chair there i mean i've outfitted my
0:14:45whole place with stuff I found in the
0:14:47building the couch there's a table with
0:14:50four chairs there's a desk
0:14:53it's a it's living history living
0:14:56history that's right and I like the
0:14:57space i like the weird people so the
0:15:01current is good fit for you in that
0:15:03sense yet
0:15:04that's right gotta fetch some water got
0:15:07and I've got a picture so i can go get
0:15:09the water without taking the courage up
0:15:11curate apart right and uh yeah I've got
0:15:16a little space heater yet fridge no
0:15:20fridge
0:15:21you should get fridge well so what i did
0:15:22was i bought a I bought a box of those
0:15:24little creamers oh they're like aseptic
0:15:28don't go back rumors
0:15:30no don't go bad dreamers and I figure
0:15:34they won't go bad for six months or
0:15:35something like that what else would I
0:15:37want in the fridge Greek yogurt yogurt
0:15:39you can have us ulcers
0:15:40yeah I don't mind a warm seltzer yeah I
0:15:44don't know one of my favorite things
0:15:45I've got you've been here I
0:15:46got a cosco dorm fridge right I've got
0:15:50our old microwave and I've got a
0:15:53Cuisinart hotpot water boiler for for
0:15:58making hot beverages
0:16:00well what's nice about your offices and
0:16:03you got the private bathroom and always
0:16:05just steps away
0:16:06yes away and and that's great and you
0:16:09know you could actually you know if you
0:16:11and the wife had a disagreement you go
0:16:12down and live in your office for don't
0:16:14think I haven't thought about it and and
0:16:16here I mean I sleep I take naps here of
0:16:19course but i do it just stretched out on
0:16:21the floor with it because the couch is
0:16:23too small to sleep alone
0:16:25yeah i got a sleeping bag and pillow i
0:16:26pull out a couple times a month and I'm
0:16:28worried that when on the very rare
0:16:29occasion my landlord was really great
0:16:31when he comes here I I worried that he
0:16:34thinks there's something kind of weird
0:16:35going on here huh
0:16:36it's a live-work space yeah you know I
0:16:38feel guilty worried about everything but
0:16:40like yeah exactly that maybe maybe I'm
0:16:43like stretching the stretching the code
0:16:44a little bit so you've got a big shelf
0:16:46unit that has a bunch of dolls on it
0:16:49Supergirl and super boy and girl boy and
0:16:53and dynamite win the Great DC villain
0:16:56girl boy and and whatever like bat that
0:17:00person and and green green person person
0:17:03that big boob girl big girl with the
0:17:07black eyes bigger bigger boobs girl on
0:17:10my shelf let's see what i have i have a
0:17:12have a piano i have a second piano what
0:17:16well I mean like electric pianos look at
0:17:20rhodes I i have a Wurlitzer and roads
0:17:23and then I have a juno 106 and then I've
0:17:26got a very big creative kazoos and also
0:17:30this old long winters come and winters
0:17:32kazoos we we bought you know 10,000 of
0:17:36those and we sold a lot of them but we
0:17:38still have a lot of them and I've got
0:17:41some oh I don't want to say kind of what
0:17:44I've got because people are going to
0:17:45start hassling me but I've got some long
0:17:47winners by know some John Roderick books
0:17:51some old t-shirts vintage long winters
0:17:53t-shirts including a couple of girl
0:17:57baseball sleeve snowblower t-shirts
0:18:01wow this is all classics and and i'm
0:18:04just imagining you have any of your you
0:18:07know
0:18:07Roderick campaign materials there I've
0:18:09got some robber campaign materials
0:18:11anybody's interested in moans that's
0:18:12quite a living museum you got there it
0:18:14is i was including a giant banner a huge
0:18:17huge Roderick Roderick band is unfurled
0:18:19uh-huh
0:18:20not on 400 i could put it on the wall
0:18:22but I wouldn't still a little soon soon
0:18:25too soon and then I've got various and
0:18:29sundry things that I found in the free
0:18:31pile that I was like I'm yeah what the
0:18:35hell that that's a cool box i did that
0:18:38some of the fun things down the street
0:18:39now there's nothing to worry about with
0:18:40the landlord says I'll find things on
0:18:41the street and I just pick it up for no
0:18:43reason to bring it like I've gotta get a
0:18:45pallet yeah i don't know why i have a
0:18:47palette but I thought maybe somebody
0:18:48that could use that for something
0:18:50well sure after the apocalypse you break
0:18:51it up and we'll make a campfire you can
0:18:53make a campfire very very tiny house
0:18:55oh you can make a tiny house that's
0:18:56right for uh for the girl boy to live in
0:18:59your boy and green green boil it and
0:19:02Wilberforce and open borders and uh like
0:19:06I'd lady
0:19:07yeah dr. bold this episode of Roderick
0:19:11on the line is brought to you in part by
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0:21:04Squarespace build it beautiful use my
0:21:08i'm such a poor housekeeper that even
0:21:11now I all of your stuff including the
0:21:14coffee cup used all still in exactly the
0:21:16same place I haven't moved it
0:21:17oh really oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I is a
0:21:21giant is a giant pile of Marvel dolls on
0:21:24the floor that you that you have
0:21:25examined in described me that well yeah
0:21:28I could tell i could tell that it wasn't
0:21:31you hadn't recently swept through there
0:21:34with a big cleaning
0:21:36well this is the problem with my
0:21:37questions it said we should give
0:21:38accurate i guess but but you know I it
0:21:41seems like you have a very particular
0:21:43feeling about your space at home and you
0:21:46have your collections and you've got
0:21:47things set up a certain way so does that
0:21:50same philosophy apply at your office
0:21:53because I mostly just clean up
0:21:54occasionally move stuff around and
0:21:55fillmore bankers boxes it's pretty
0:21:57utilitarian let me say that the state of
0:22:02my house currently is embarrassing
0:22:07no I say that John Robert why would you
0:22:10say such a thing
0:22:11well because somewhere along the line in
0:22:14october i just started to let it all go
0:22:20to hell
0:22:21I and i put it back together I think
0:22:23once in late October did a big clean put
0:22:26everything back together but it was it
0:22:28was it wasn't that the house itself was
0:22:32teetering but it was that I was
0:22:33teetering and then in November I let it
0:22:36go again when it also this point you're
0:22:38still dealing with the election
0:22:40well I'm you know I'm i have processed
0:22:43it but i'm looking into the future I'm
0:22:45like what's gonna happen until I got an
0:22:47October when was the one did your part
0:22:50in the race and beginning of august so i
0:22:52can open that long
0:22:54yeah gosh i know that saying the City
0:22:59Council the seattle city council has
0:23:01been seeded the election is completely
0:23:05over and they've all taken their jobs
0:23:07and won't be the same without you
0:23:08well it's true it's true but there you
0:23:10know the Seattle Seattle just didn't
0:23:12share my vision yet yet
0:23:15that's right anyway I let it go in
0:23:18november and then I went away for a
0:23:19month and a half on tour tourists
0:23:22tourists kind of things and now walking
0:23:25into my house that you'll be greeted by
0:23:28just utter chaos chaos in every
0:23:31direction including I took apart my I
0:23:34talk about my bed in order to replace it
0:23:37with my Casper bed and that whole
0:23:40process because i'm sleeping now on the
0:23:42Casper bed that I put in the guest room
0:23:45right so i emigrated to the guest room
0:23:48and in the whole time I've lived in the
0:23:49house I'd ever I never lived in the
0:23:50guest room
0:23:51it's the guest room I said says it right
0:23:53on it but another one that Kevin the
0:23:55back by the stairs there's stairs okay
0:23:57now I'm living in the guest room and my
0:23:59bedroom like the sleigh bed is all
0:24:01dismantled but hasn't been moved
0:24:04there's an extra couch upstairs that
0:24:06doesn't belong there that never should
0:24:08have gone there it was hard to get there
0:24:10and now it has to get out of there are
0:24:12you singing my song ah yeah and there's
0:24:15a desk up there that doesn't belong
0:24:17there
0:24:18there's a there's a there's a new Casper
0:24:20reality just waiting to be implemented
0:24:24and then downstairs
0:24:27oh there's another desk that doesn't
0:24:28belong there there's some furniture that
0:24:31I just there's some furniture i found in
0:24:32the barn that needs to go
0:24:35i'm wearing my couch out and on top of
0:24:38it all is a thousand unread New Yorker
0:24:41magazines all that stuff I got back from
0:24:44the burglary that i decided i needed to
0:24:46sort again
0:24:48oh sure it's got to find a new place in
0:24:50there in your new new reality right but
0:24:51that's all half sorted and then there's
0:24:54a layer of like a layer of books and
0:24:58novels and stuff that's all on top of
0:25:00that and then there's a layer of just
0:25:04wall over everything
0:25:06sure and so a every time I walk into my
0:25:09house now I'm I'm overwhelmed by the the
0:25:14daunting scale of just what needs to be
0:25:18done and so I'm becoming someone who's
0:25:21just walking through the clearing on the
0:25:24way and there are a lot of like i said i
0:25:26started doing my Bobby's and projects in
0:25:28the kitchen because there wasn't any
0:25:29space anywhere and how the kitchen
0:25:31counters are all covered with boxes is
0:25:33this is so similar so similar to what
0:25:35we're dealing with at home right now
0:25:37where there's been this perfect storm is
0:25:39an overused phrase but there's been a
0:25:41confluence of several things that have
0:25:43happened including that my wife works
0:25:46full-time now I'm you know not super
0:25:48busy but I'm doing more than I was like
0:25:50six months ago
0:25:51christmas comes along so all kinds of
0:25:55new things come in the house because of
0:25:56christmas and also my daughter I am on
0:26:01the one hand very proud to say has
0:26:03gotten really into will just say arts
0:26:06and crafts she's very but feel like
0:26:08drawing you know painting that kind of
0:26:10stuff that's bad enough but she's also
0:26:11does things with beads and just all of
0:26:14these little projects there's lego
0:26:15everywhere and my problem is like I hear
0:26:19you because I feel like I come in the
0:26:20house and it's a little depressing
0:26:21partly because it's like a tile puzzle
0:26:25we're like if I if half of this stuff
0:26:27was just gone
0:26:29I would be able to clean the place up
0:26:30right you can't really properly if you
0:26:32got two deaths you don't need your house
0:26:33like you got a bigger problem
0:26:35yes you need a holler you need you need
0:26:37somebody to come in with the big claw
0:26:38and like actually take some giant things
0:26:40out to make more room in the tile puzzle
0:26:42that's exactly right and then on top of
0:26:44it like one of the big problems and
0:26:46I and I'm embarrassed to say this but
0:26:49one of the big problems
0:26:51honestly is that I have too many blazers
0:26:52in the last that seems like something
0:26:57you could collect and organize but but
0:27:01there's only so much closet space in any
0:27:03one place and I just I just really found
0:27:09a lot of good blazers in the last couple
0:27:11of years and and I didn't say no to any
0:27:15of them the good ones because they were
0:27:17only eight dollars and they were lovely
0:27:19but now i have so many Blazers that I
0:27:23just don't have the closet space for
0:27:25them but I take them out and I arrange
0:27:26them you know I spread them out and look
0:27:29at them and say which of these plays can
0:27:30I get rid of alcohol i need the orange
0:27:33linen 1i need the green felt one and I
0:27:37need the blue tweet whether i need that
0:27:40other tweet one and then pretty soon I'm
0:27:42like in that headspace where it's like
0:27:44well what if i get asked to a2 an orange
0:27:46tweed party
0:27:47yeah right you're gonna find that twice
0:27:49yeah right so then and that's part of
0:27:52part of like the looming ebay store that
0:27:54i'm going to launch is going to be a
0:27:55player up like a pipeline for all this
0:27:57stuff to go out into the world and I'm
0:28:00just hoping the problem is when we when
0:28:02we did our show our live show the other
0:28:03day i was looking at the audience and I
0:28:05was saying how many of these people are
0:28:0744 and 46 Long's right because that's
0:28:11the that's the market for pretty much
0:28:14everything I own
0:28:16I'm gonna put a bunch of Blazers up
0:28:17online but if you're not a 44 long or 46
0:28:20long or 42 long list says there can't be
0:28:22that many people who buy it just to have
0:28:25you know a creepy piece of John's past
0:28:27yeah people are going to put it on the
0:28:28wall like a kimono now man can imagine
0:28:30that said a tweed jacket up up on the
0:28:34wall in a big giant frame in the John
0:28:36room
0:28:37um so no I expect that these will be
0:28:40practical items for people but there
0:28:42it's gonna be a limited number of people
0:28:44if you are if you're 56 these things are
0:28:47going to be its there's not really going
0:28:50to be anything I'll be pretty cute girl
0:28:53like a girl 56 of the pixie cut where
0:28:54246 long and pretty cute how with the
0:28:57belt
0:28:58love you like a ribbon belt exactly and
0:29:00rolled up sleeves i mean i could see it
0:29:02I can't do I actually that's pretty cute
0:29:05is super cute but yeah just move the
0:29:08buttons right just move the buttons over
0:29:10and to make it into a double-breasted
0:29:12jacket with Johnny I got it is believed
0:29:14that it would look like come on now I
0:29:17mhm
0:29:19I i think i've talked about this before
0:29:20but like there's something I do every
0:29:21depending on where it is what it is
0:29:23every year two or three which is called
0:29:26the hauling guy and the thing is this is
0:29:30not this is the final part of the
0:29:32problem but getting to that part is
0:29:34difficult so basically there's these
0:29:36places you can call and I don't like
0:29:38doing this I feel weird about it I don't
0:29:40think it's super environmentally sound
0:29:42but my environment needs to be made more
0:29:44sound by doing this which is i will just
0:29:46get a and I don't know this for you but
0:29:49it's time to think about you get some
0:29:51contractor bags like a bunch of
0:29:53contractor bags and just just start
0:29:55feeling feeling feeling feeling feeling
0:29:56them up and the amazing part is like I
0:29:59go through so much anxiety with that
0:30:01where it's like a I don't want to miss
0:30:03out i don't want to deal with this I
0:30:04don't want this stuff going to dump I
0:30:05feel terrible about all of this but the
0:30:07amazing part is in my case a few months
0:30:08ago I did this from my office and this
0:30:10guy like five guys and a big pickup
0:30:13truck show up and honestly it was about
0:30:1418 minutes from my life is virtually
0:30:18unlivable in this office to like a new
0:30:20start and it's it is one of those like
0:30:24talk about a weight off your shoulders
0:30:25again I'm not saying it's the greatest
0:30:27thing environmentally but like what you
0:30:29gonna do you gonna be your own personal
0:30:30garbage dump for the rest your life own
0:30:32personal garbage dome but just if you
0:30:37could just get the the desks out that
0:30:41would be a start you have some kids come
0:30:42and carry your desks out that would be a
0:30:43huge start
0:30:44you can also do something like a task
0:30:46rabbit you can have somebody coming make
0:30:47a bed for you that's probably a few
0:30:48uh-huh but I'm just saying you might
0:30:50need to outsource some of this hey kids
0:30:51get these desks out of here you can find
0:30:53some merchants in the neighborhood
0:30:55well and so the thing is like I'm
0:30:57starting to look at my candlestick
0:30:58collection with with the different I
0:31:00with it with a little bit of a jaundiced
0:31:01eye
0:31:02yeah i'm saying i got too many
0:31:03candlesticks I really don't i don't need
0:31:05these and that's something i could put
0:31:07on my ebay store and someone of any size
0:31:09could buy
0:31:10you need in some ways your barn is
0:31:12probably not up to it you wouldn't want
0:31:14to be your office
0:31:15I don't think anybody else in your life
0:31:16would allow it you need a third place a
0:31:19storage shed not great because nobody
0:31:20ever open the storage shed after nobody
0:31:22over just becomes this place where
0:31:23spiders live
0:31:24that's it becomes the place where
0:31:26spiders move into your stuff yeah right
0:31:28but you kind of need you need you know
0:31:29you almost could get one of those
0:31:31storage that you can have those like it
0:31:33the way they move now you can have a big
0:31:35storage container you put your stuff in
0:31:36and they ship that out to a place and
0:31:38you almost could use a storage container
0:31:39somewhere on your property from month it
0:31:43is a thing what I really want and need
0:31:45is a basement like I'm a basement
0:31:48dweller truly amazed i learned that
0:31:50about myself there are people who like
0:31:52to live in an upstairs environment i am
0:31:54at late at night I want to be in a
0:31:56basement
0:31:57yeah and if I'm in a basement then it
0:32:00then it feels it feels appropriate that
0:32:02I be surrounded by crazy projects and
0:32:05it's all down in daddy's basement and
0:32:08can be closed the door and just the
0:32:10insanity happens down there you can play
0:32:11the guitar you can you can build a train
0:32:14set you can do whatever lunatic thing
0:32:17that you want to do but my house doesn't
0:32:19have a basement it's just one of those
0:32:21houses that was built up built on the
0:32:24ground for all intensive purposes and
0:32:27it's the one thing that i rue is that I
0:32:32don't have a basement and you know I
0:32:33could dig out under the house and build
0:32:35a basement but what a project
0:32:38oh come on no vault oh no that would be
0:32:42too much with the last place that I
0:32:43lived in Tallahassee and Tallahassee is
0:32:47not so much of a basement kind of place
0:32:49in seattle basement play so there are a
0:32:51lot of basements there I depends but no
0:32:54I mean yes but no it's not it's not a
0:32:58massive there are basements but it's not
0:33:01like you know the you know mid-atlantic
0:33:03or the Midwest were like you just get a
0:33:05basement the size of your house with
0:33:07your house
0:33:07no it's I mean they're they're plenty of
0:33:10houses here have basements plenty don't
0:33:12I mean in Anchorage a lot of houses that
0:33:16don't have basements they're just you
0:33:17know they just throw some boards on the
0:33:20ground and start building a house
0:33:21in Tallahassee i would imagine that
0:33:23you'd have alligators down there right
0:33:25away yeah because of the sea level
0:33:26situation it's not as bad as Miami but
0:33:28like the last house I lived in which
0:33:30seemed probably expensive at seven
0:33:32hundred fifty dollars a month had an
0:33:35entire it wasn't actually technically it
0:33:37wasn't part of the house that we were
0:33:39renting so like we weren't supposed to
0:33:40use it but except to do like laundry but
0:33:43oh my god it had an entire you don't
0:33:45talk about where you've got a basement
0:33:46that's almost the size of your house and
0:33:48it's in it's the footprint of your house
0:33:50and it was it was finished so that it
0:33:51could be like a nice in law
0:33:54oh yeah and it had like a full bathroom
0:33:56and had a whole separate area like
0:33:59utility area for storage and and laundry
0:34:03oh you're giving me a chubby I know what
0:34:06if you live in a Seattle San Francisco
0:34:08New in Manhattan like you know like oh
0:34:10my god what a dream that that would be
0:34:11to have your own dedicated Eric area for
0:34:14stuff that like wasn't the the living
0:34:16right now stuff that you could go down
0:34:18to play guitar
0:34:18oh my god what a dream you remember the
0:34:20split-level house did you ever live in a
0:34:21split-level uh I think I know what that
0:34:25means we're looking like a sunken living
0:34:26room in a ranch-style house
0:34:28no no no level with that were they both
0:34:30the parents have their own area while
0:34:31you walk in the front door
0:34:33let's split plan split split split plan
0:34:37split plan what plan is a very popular
0:34:42kind of design way but plans but plan so
0:34:44you got you got a middle area of the
0:34:45house
0:34:46we've got all the common rooms way over
0:34:48in this other side of the house you've
0:34:49got two or three bedrooms for dumb kids
0:34:51and then and then there's this wing over
0:34:53here we go down a hallway and you enter
0:34:55into this zone with a separate door for
0:34:58like your entire grown-up master living
0:35:00area so I like a separate zone right and
0:35:02she got a giant bc go into a door and
0:35:04you've got your giant giant closet maybe
0:35:06two closets you got a big bathroom and
0:35:09you got your big master bedroom maid
0:35:12with a sliding door in a wet bar that's
0:35:14a fantastic sounding thing but a
0:35:17split-level house sorry is one where you
0:35:21walk in the front door and you are
0:35:23immediately greeted by a choice
0:35:25upstairs or downstairs like the stairs
0:35:29sure the entryway is basically you're on
0:35:33a landing between
0:35:35going up and going down I totally know
0:35:37what you mean it's not exactly a
0:35:38townhouse it's kind of a classic like
0:35:40big city philadelphia is kind of place
0:35:42where you get this area the zone a
0:35:44common zone you come into we're like
0:35:45okay will you go down to the sleeping
0:35:48and hang out or like up to the kitchen
0:35:49in family area
0:35:52yes but no no this is a suburban house
0:35:55which is which is wider than it is deep
0:35:59so its wide it's it's it's it's built on
0:36:03the it's built on the the with when you
0:36:07look at it from the front there's always
0:36:09a there's always kind of a two-car
0:36:10garage and then the the Duke the front
0:36:13door is sets not in the very middle of
0:36:16the the face but sort of you know skewed
0:36:19over two-thirds front door is two-thirds
0:36:21in you know a classic proportion
0:36:25yeah sure you walk in and you either go
0:36:28upstairs to a big open plan living room
0:36:32and then there's a little dining room in
0:36:35the back and then a kind of long kitchen
0:36:37and then down the hall from the living
0:36:42room back over the two-car garage are
0:36:44like three to four bedrooms
0:36:46let's say three bedrooms ickk
0:36:50not-not-not brady bunch but like I kind
0:36:51of classic there's it's got a little
0:36:53pop-up yep now you're getting it
0:36:55okay get it sort of Brady Bunch was it
0:36:57was a very cool modern architectural the
0:37:01cool one example of this but it would
0:37:04have been in a neighborhood of these and
0:37:06then if you go downstairs there's a a
0:37:09big wreck room and probably another
0:37:13bathroom the laundry room and another
0:37:16bedroom and that is the fat that bottom
0:37:23bedroom is the 1i think that you put
0:37:26your teenager in or you're mother right
0:37:30it's the it's the one that's like it's
0:37:34not it's not part of you you can have
0:37:37the whole top floor be your house where
0:37:40everybody's living and hanging out but
0:37:41and that bottom big rec room can be your
0:37:43TV room then there's a back
0:37:46droom yeah and that's where first time
0:37:48where we kind of mutually agree we want
0:37:50that personal space
0:37:51yeah you go there there's a skill your
0:37:53own bathroom
0:37:54bottom floor of the split-level house
0:37:56pal and I lived in a split-level house
0:38:00right as I was transitioning into being
0:38:03a teenager and I couldn't have been
0:38:05happier that was circa ozzy osbourne's
0:38:10blizzard of Oz whoo-hoo
0:38:12and I I worked out a situation I i
0:38:15designed a system where I could sit in
0:38:17bed and I had a string that I could pull
0:38:21that went up to an eyebolt above my bed
0:38:25and then the string went across the
0:38:27ceiling to an eyebolt on the far side of
0:38:30the room and then down to the not for to
0:38:35the pullout knob that turned on my TV my
0:38:39goodness and my TV was you know like a
0:38:42little R it was red plastic TV there was
0:38:49a seriously about the size of one of
0:38:51these amazon boxes like a portable TV a
0:38:54portable TV that's right and so I could
0:38:56pull this I could pull out this the on
0:38:59button and course we only had three
0:39:03channels plus PBS
0:39:07yep and I would pull out i would pull
0:39:11the TV on and watch mel's diner and then
0:39:15I had a I had another rope another piece
0:39:20of string went up and turned on the
0:39:22light
0:39:23I have this whole system and in my
0:39:26bathroom i had a jar of Lipton's instant
0:39:29iced tea which I drank like 5 tall
0:39:35glasses of a day
0:39:36me too not realizing that it was full of
0:39:39caffeine i would take a pitch I would
0:39:41watch Carol Burnett and drink an entire
0:39:42picture that by myself wasn't that
0:39:43incredible stuff that Lipton's tea we
0:39:46would get the the Nestea and I was not
0:39:48easy all you do is add water and a
0:39:50picture with ice cubes and then you just
0:39:51you just drinking sugary tea for our
0:39:53trick and sugar tea i loved it i still
0:39:56have a jar of it in my pantry with
0:39:59I never touch i just have it there i
0:40:02have it in the pantry just to look at it
0:40:04and go like huh yep because i drank so
0:40:07much about me too and I was so happy you
0:40:12could make it there right in your room
0:40:13can make it in the room so so I had my
0:40:15own corner of the house and I had it
0:40:17rigged up exactly how I wanted it I
0:40:20there was a little desk where I could
0:40:22build my model of the USS Enterprise
0:40:24then I do not mean the fucking spaceship
0:40:27I mean the aircraft carrier ok and a boy
0:40:33will when people to think you're no no I
0:40:37was building the aircraft carrier
0:40:38actually which is cool and not the
0:40:41starship enterprise which was also
0:40:45instrumental Starship Enterprise you
0:40:46wouldn't have said USS enterprise would
0:40:47have said starship that's right i
0:40:50remember in 1900 this have been you know
0:40:558081 I remember building a model of a
0:40:59b-52 bomber because in 1981 during the
0:41:05Reagan administration the b-52 bomber
0:41:08was slated to be retired and I and I was
0:41:13working hard on this model because i
0:41:16wanted to finish it before the b-52 was
0:41:19taken out of service and for those of
0:41:22you listening at home you know that the
0:41:24b-52 is still in service
0:41:27wow so I was in a big hurry in anyone to
0:41:30get this thing done because it was going
0:41:32to be replaced with the new the new b-1
0:41:35bomber brand-new b-1 bomber Reagan
0:41:38administration was going to build a
0:41:39thousand of these of course right there
0:41:42was a big deal
0:41:43yeah and then it got it wasn't a good
0:41:45bomber and it and it didn't it got
0:41:47canceled but not cancelled that they
0:41:50built like you know however many of them
0:41:52and then they decided well we'll keep
0:41:54these b---fifty twos around i think the
0:41:56b1 bombers are still flying to the ones
0:41:59that we build our still fly anyway
0:42:02that's a little bit of an aside but not
0:42:06that this show ever has an aside
0:42:08god forbid but yeah the split-level
0:42:11house I it wasn't actually a basement
0:42:15you wouldn't call it a basement you
0:42:17would call it even though it was
0:42:19slightly subterranean right it was it
0:42:22was three feet of it was underground but
0:42:25a net but i miss that i miss that
0:42:28separate area
0:42:29I don't have that in my house i need a
0:42:32separate area
0:42:34oh my god be so nice and it's like no
0:42:36grown-up dads get again
0:42:38yeah again like like like the great mike
0:42:40brady the architect you know he had his
0:42:41den and he went in there to do is work
0:42:43at his table and you're supposed to bug
0:42:45him
0:42:46hmm you know that was dad's area you
0:42:48don't bug dad when he's in his den i
0:42:50think it's something else is fine so
0:42:51funny your pinpoint exactly a time in my
0:42:54life when I was very much the same way
0:42:55where I can I was always just trying to
0:42:57find a new Enclave and for some kids
0:43:00maybe that was a treehouse but for me
0:43:01that would be like I decided to one day
0:43:04like set up a second room for myself in
0:43:07our third bedroom we have a very small
0:43:09house but it was three bedrooms in this
0:43:10very small house and there was this one
0:43:12kind of junk room that had an old single
0:43:14bed in it but that's why would hang up
0:43:15the pictures of Charlie's Angels that I
0:43:17cut out of magazines and I had a
0:43:18separate radio in there when you were
0:43:21allowed or you felt empowered enough to
0:43:24just publicly hang up your Charlie's
0:43:26Angels posters
0:43:27yeah my mom worked a lot i was a
0:43:29latchkey kid so I could inhabit this
0:43:31room that's why I kept my copy of Emily
0:43:33Post's etiquette how all my almanacs I
0:43:36used Miss Manners myself
0:43:38yeah let Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post
0:43:42didn't you ever read that i would read
0:43:43that a couple times a week you didn't
0:43:45read the Miss Manners book that first
0:43:47Miss Manners book had so many manners in
0:43:50it and she was a very funny writer she's
0:43:55she's underrated she's a very funny
0:43:56writer and she's funny writer and she
0:43:58she gave great advice and so my two
0:44:02books where Miss Manners guide to was
0:44:05this man's guide to something
0:44:07exquisitely correct behavior that's
0:44:09right that's right a for the first one
0:44:11and then the preppy handbook i love that
0:44:14Lisa Birnbaum yeah and I would pour over
0:44:17those two books and love the preppy
0:44:19handbook try to figure out exactly what
0:44:21the behavior was exactly what balance i
0:44:24was going to strike between this
0:44:26behavior the the polite and accepted
0:44:28behavior and the completely
0:44:31inappropriate behavior that was going to
0:44:32balance it out the program book was not
0:44:35precisely like an on the nose parody but
0:44:38i think it was fairly tongue-in-cheek
0:44:39but I didn't really treat it that way
0:44:41now I didn't even understand that it was
0:44:43meant as a joke until later right when
0:44:46somebody when i first learned that the
0:44:48preppy handbook was was a pair was like
0:44:52a was ironic i was a little bit taken
0:44:56aback and I played it off right the
0:44:58person was like all that looks hilarious
0:44:59and I said huh
0:45:03and they're like yeah that's like saying
0:45:04like it's um it's mocking perhaps and I
0:45:08was like oh haha yeah yeah of course
0:45:11yeah right my mocking brand that I kind
0:45:14of like walked away and I was like
0:45:15marketing perhaps I think you're
0:45:17describing something a lot of people too
0:45:18so I had that room I had a one-point we
0:45:20moved into a different place we had a
0:45:22well move to florida we had an addict
0:45:25with pull down stairs we had pulled on
0:45:29stereo really oh yes so that all of our
0:45:31christmas stuff all of our old stuff was
0:45:33up there but like at a certain point we
0:45:35really at that same time as a little
0:45:36older than you but not 1981 i started
0:45:39spending a lot of my time in the Attic
0:45:42that's so cool down the stairs i would
0:45:44get you pulled that you put on this door
0:45:45you know talk about right now oh yeah
0:45:47Cyril come out to your house and install
0:45:48this and so it was amazing and so this
0:45:51creaky door would come down you pull
0:45:53down these steps and then you could go
0:45:55up into the attic and I had made a space
0:45:57where I covered up some of the
0:45:58installation the beams again i move my
0:46:00books up there have a radio up there is
0:46:02some drinks up there probably not the
0:46:04most hygienic thing but like the same
0:46:06same pattern i would go up there and
0:46:07like inhabit the life that I wanted to
0:46:09have up there i would get a gentleman up
0:46:11there
0:46:11yep i have my own one-man teenage
0:46:14gentlemen's club now you've heard
0:46:16Hodgman described his house having you
0:46:19uh probably his parents his parents
0:46:22lived in a gigantic East Coast central
0:46:28Boston like one of those it's it's like
0:46:32it's like a brownstone but it was in
0:46:34enormous like to remember this he had a
0:46:36he gave him accommodations didn't they
0:46:38and he had his own apartment he had two
0:46:40rooms a bathroom and he was he was an
0:46:45only child and and very autonomous and
0:46:48he set it up even with like firms and
0:46:51huh
0:46:52he had a TV area with couches he had his
0:46:56I mean it was basically his own grown-up
0:46:58what he imagined to be his own grown-up
0:47:00a living space with the campus house
0:47:02would look like like like the cavity
0:47:04yeah exactly and then the then this now
0:47:06this house had room for borders who had
0:47:10their own apartments so like a dream I
0:47:15know can you imagine all right Merlin
0:47:18i'm i'm going to make a second cup of
0:47:20coffee here
0:47:21oh ok out so hard with this will give me
0:47:25a minute to talk about casper mattresses
0:47:27oh yeah let's do this episode of
0:47:31Roderick on the line is brought to you
0:47:33in part by Casper to learn more right
0:47:35now please visit Casper calm /
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0:48:08brighter days I have been used sleeping
0:48:10on this Casper is sort of God for over a
0:48:12year and I love it my lady friend and I
0:48:14sleep on it don't be creepy i love this
0:48:15thing so much i love the quality of the
0:48:17product i love the sleep that I get from
0:48:19it thank you but you know what even over
0:48:21a year after getting this thing I'm
0:48:22still just stunned at how easy this
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0:48:26this entire process is so painless if
0:48:29you've ever tried to go in one of the
0:48:30junkie stores where you go and lay on a
0:48:31match for five seconds and decided
0:48:33that's how you want to spend a third of
0:48:34your life
0:48:34stop it nonsense ponderous the Casper a
0:48:38surprisingly small box maybe a little
0:48:40bigger than like a small file cabinet
0:48:42appears at your door you carry that up
0:48:44to your room by yourself
0:48:45and you just slide open this little bag
0:48:47with this little mattress in it the
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0:49:19prices for these things are so crazy
0:49:21five hundred dollars for a twin-size all
0:49:23the way up to 9 50 for a king on top of
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0:49:26Casper has a limited special offer to
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0:49:42for many a great night's sleep and for
0:49:44sporting Roderick on the line
0:49:46I'm kind of an expert on them but i want
0:49:48to hear about that more
0:49:49alright here we go make this thing i'm
0:49:51going to do it you go ahead with the
0:49:53Casper not all day after
0:49:55oh I seek making a lot it's a long pole
0:50:010 to a long pull list do how are you
0:50:11I i define em bent pine to save it for
0:50:17the chef's you just leave all this in I
0:50:18got the Casper here somewhere
0:50:20well I mean yeah but this feels this you
0:50:23know skills a little bit and there are
0:50:26neither fish nor fowl is the show I mean
0:50:28I was gonna I was gonna be I was gonna
0:50:30give you a play-by-play on the phone
0:50:32when you can you can drop while you're
0:50:33making coffee to hear that nearly don't
0:50:39leave it all innocent ya know that
0:50:41sounds amazing i want one no and I want
0:50:45to pee
0:50:46I know that's my coffee being made in my
0:50:49own in my own mug now who how many
0:50:51people can say that I mean I guess
0:50:53anybody that works in an auto supply
0:50:55place
0:50:56yeah i mean i guess a lot of people have
0:50:58money
0:50:58eggs with their own business on them but
0:51:00not with their face on them now
0:51:02Oh what no disgusting what flavor you
0:51:05doing well so so with the Cure egg came
0:51:11like a sample pack
0:51:14uh-huh right sample pack of all the
0:51:16different flavors that you might want
0:51:18coffee
0:51:20yeah that's kind of what we got was kind
0:51:22of a strange collection get the fake
0:51:24dunkin donuts
0:51:25yeah you gotta like donut shop no at the
0:51:27donut shop donut shop here's what i got
0:51:32English breakfast tea which I don't want
0:51:34chai latte I don't want that
0:51:36nope hazelnut flavored something I do
0:51:38not want that eight o'clock the original
0:51:41medium roast coffee i'll probably use
0:51:43that
0:51:43yeah swissmiss hot cocoa unlikely but
0:51:46maybe my kid will be here sometime and
0:51:50then these various things Breakfast
0:51:51Blend caribou blend starbucks starbucks
0:51:56dark Sumatra's all you need
0:51:58yeah that's a pretty good so and then so
0:52:02what so I didn't know what to do and so
0:52:05my mom went on the internet which is I
0:52:08mean she is that she is the 81 year old
0:52:10lady that loves the internet and and she
0:52:14bought me and like 80 of these from
0:52:18costco or no I'm sorry from office depot
0:52:21and they're all starbucks brand so i
0:52:27have to have coffee for days
0:52:28yeah and maybe one day I'll want a chai
0:52:30latte
0:52:32yeah it's worth a try ok so now i've got
0:52:35this cup of coffee it's it's very full
0:52:37because I got the long pole for sitting
0:52:39back down I've got my my to creamers
0:52:42that don't spoil and dad you make it
0:52:44dark you use the option to make it dark
0:52:46i prefer dark
0:52:48do you know the dingus to make it dark
0:52:50what's the dingus on China remember we
0:52:52have any stars in months because it's
0:52:54broken but uh what
0:52:57when you're on the screen and the
0:52:58interfaces think sucks but remember
0:53:00there's a section like once you drop the
0:53:02thing is like I yo you ready to bake off
0:53:03it now
0:53:04oh no mine doesn't have a screen no
0:53:06screen no mine is just a simple one that
0:53:08just is like it just has buttons and I
0:53:11was like three buttons
0:53:12do you want this no man that's
0:53:13attractive prices really never says you
0:53:16know we have a pretty small kitchen it's
0:53:17a big footprint like if you commit to
0:53:19this thing you're not gonna have other
0:53:21things around 10 this thing is just the
0:53:23size of a normal coffee maker is that
0:53:25right yeah it's just a little bit's just
0:53:27bigots and splits the size of a rugby
0:53:28ball if a rugby ball was shaped like a
0:53:32coffee maker like a coffee maker or like
0:53:34the matador for a port au port
0:53:39ok all right ok it's a rugby ball sized
0:53:43matador alright okay now this coffee
0:53:47looks good is it all this office pro
0:53:49might be an office pro I my eyelids this
0:53:52is a professional office that's a much
0:53:53smaller footprint
0:53:54yeah and i think and i hope that it
0:53:57breaks less easily argue it gets clogged
0:54:01it gets clogged it doesn't work you end
0:54:03up wasting those very expensive little
0:54:05buckets because it didn't run right yeah
0:54:07and so there's been lots of advice
0:54:08people on how to clean it we've cleaned
0:54:10it i think ours is defective and it's
0:54:12super disappointing cause it was pretty
0:54:13expensive
0:54:14yeah that sucks now what you used to be
0:54:16an advocate of the fizzy water maker
0:54:19yeah i still i select fizzy water mario
0:54:21maker i i i i got my problem is this is
0:54:23how my brain works like i'll be up to
0:54:26date and buying lots of those canisters
0:54:27the canisters are not inexpensive know
0:54:29i'm a big go to go through you do but it
0:54:32is in the end way less expensive than
0:54:35cans way less expensive and less
0:54:38wasteful but it's a lot of effort you
0:54:40gotta I drink a lot of sorts you do i do
0:54:44I mean I get at least over 12 pack of
0:54:46cells for a day
0:54:46now you used to drink coke right or
0:54:48something when I was a youngster I drink
0:54:50in the days of my attic days I would
0:54:52drink a lot of coke if you see the photo
0:54:54i sent you guys I found and sent you a
0:54:55photo of the Nestea that I remember from
0:54:58childhood with that green label
0:55:01oh that's exactly the Nestea with the
0:55:03green stripe ecap alburnett and so yeah
0:55:06I used to drinking like way too much
0:55:08coke it's really weird I can't I just
0:55:10can't even drink it today I got a
0:55:11Mexican cook twice a year and I'm glue
0:55:13is just this is too much
0:55:15I don't you know the next seven st had
0:55:17even more sugar in it i'll betcha
0:55:19oh for sure that misty was I can't even
0:55:21believe how much you know it was the it
0:55:25was that
0:55:25really eighties and they still were
0:55:26feeding kids garbage
0:55:28yes like like tang and and nasty in a
0:55:36jar
0:55:37I was just terrible terrible stuff but
0:55:39it seemed like I had nobody thought for
0:55:42a second about providing me a
0:55:45twelve-year-old or 13 year old with as
0:55:49much tea as much sugar tea as I could
0:55:52consume oh no no no i mean there was way
0:55:55more background sugar like today my
0:55:57daughter loves candy she loves chocolate
0:56:00all things chocolate and she will eat
0:56:02all the chocolate that's not good
0:56:04I wish that were habit we have not
0:56:05started but i still think I'm my god i
0:56:07still feel like it's nothing like what
0:56:08we had as kids between things like
0:56:10breakfast cereals things like powdered
0:56:13drinks only put it this way until I was
0:56:16in probably college I actively disliked
0:56:19drinking a glass of water but I didn't
0:56:22want me to do
0:56:23nobody i knew drank water i was sooo
0:56:25much water it seemed like like something
0:56:28like something you were being cheated
0:56:30yeah it's weird would be like you know
0:56:31be like having a machine that dispenses
0:56:32mana or something you like white why you
0:56:34haven't why would you have that why
0:56:36don't you have something real
0:56:37why don't you drink water drink water
0:56:39that you have it on the side and a
0:56:40little glass at dinner maybe but like I
0:56:43drink I water is my primary thing that I
0:56:45drink now and yeah she never did never
0:56:47did but the background sugar in
0:56:49everything I mean we would we went
0:56:51shopping and my mom was a good mom she
0:56:53but like she would just buy stuff like
0:56:55hostess cakes your strategies things in
0:56:59the house you go to leave a salon do you
0:57:01take lunch you just like have a twinkie
0:57:03like like like that's a thing you I
0:57:05didn't know this is gonna be this is
0:57:07gonna sound weird to you right this is
0:57:08this was along the lines of the fact
0:57:10that I don't eat potatoes potatoes at
0:57:13all you know this about me
0:57:14do I i do not nor have I ever eaten
0:57:19potatoes in any form this is like
0:57:21finding out you're gay or not gay
0:57:22this is huge you you you you you just
0:57:26you reject them
0:57:27I reject potato
0:57:28now i will eat mashed potatoes on
0:57:30Thanksgiving that are that have gravy on
0:57:33them
0:57:34sure and if i'm sitting at a table and
0:57:36someone is lauding some fries which is
0:57:39something people do right there like
0:57:41these are great fries or these are awful
0:57:44fries people talk about their fries they
0:57:47do talk about their fries and if i'm
0:57:48sitting at a table and somebody's like
0:57:50all these fries are amazing these are
0:57:52best fries
0:57:54I'll reach over and try fri but
0:57:57otherwise I have never ordered a french
0:57:59fry
0:58:00I've never heed I do not like potato
0:58:02chips in any of any kind i don't like
0:58:05hashbrowns I don't like at any kind of
0:58:08potato you don't need home fries black
0:58:11look I will put little russet potatoes
0:58:16in a stew that I'm making or maybe like
0:58:18a corned beef hash
0:58:19no I don't need a corned beef hash I
0:58:22will eat corned beef all day but a
0:58:24corned beef hash I've never I've never
0:58:26had a corn beef hash
0:58:27oh my god this is I feel like I'm
0:58:29tripping I don't want any kind of one of
0:58:31those breakfasts where it's all jumbled
0:58:33together with potatoes are servants or
0:58:35lid i don't i don't want one that would
0:58:38cover with white sauce i do not want
0:58:40potatoes
0:58:41Sam I do not want them sam-i-am moon no
0:58:44potato and this is that I never wanted
0:58:45them even when I was a little kid you go
0:58:48to a kids party and they throw potato
0:58:50chips at you through a cannon and you're
0:58:53like no thank you i do not want them I
0:58:55want one of those things that's not
0:58:56candy its like noodles or rice it's one
0:58:58of those things you can mostly depend on
0:59:00most kids to want to eat
0:59:01yeah right you and and the thing is in
0:59:03the world they will they will shove
0:59:06potatoes at you
0:59:08I mean you may not even notice it but
0:59:11when you're someone who doesn't eat
0:59:12potatoes which I have to say I'm the
0:59:15only one I've ever met but potatoes are
0:59:19given to you as as may be your primary
0:59:21starch option about sixty percent of the
0:59:24time
0:59:24oh yeah and i don't like them so do you
0:59:28have can I don't take it for game but
0:59:30did you Tiki trace back to with you as
0:59:32long as you can remember you've not want
0:59:34to pay you've rejected potatoes as long
0:59:36as you can remember the first potato I
0:59:37ever had i didn't i didn't like and I
0:59:39never liked to subsequent
0:59:41never look back and what they seemed
0:59:43like to me was a kind of grainy Greece
0:59:46holder right it was like it was it's
0:59:50actually it's actually a greased
0:59:52delivery device and salt grease and salt
0:59:54delivery device where the underlying
0:59:57substance it
0:59:57substance it
1:00:00as a sort of grainy buck that tastes
1:00:04like ma kore tastes like dirt
1:00:06it's a dude tastes like dirt it has the
1:00:08consistency of dirt and it's slathered
1:00:11with grease and salt is super
1:00:13interesting to me and so and even if
1:00:15you're even if they're fried to a crisp
1:00:17you can still taste that grainy dirt and
1:00:21then that no matter how much salt and
1:00:23fat you put on him
1:00:24I still taste mud so I so I mean I was
1:00:30four years old I was like I don't want
1:00:32potatoes don't give me those
1:00:33and the thing is that most people if you
1:00:34don't want potatoes they just take your
1:00:36potatoes or I think what it is is
1:00:38everybody recognizes the potatoes are
1:00:40garbage food so if they put potatoes on
1:00:42your plate you don't eat them they just
1:00:43throw him away like nobody ever says why
1:00:46didn't Jeter potatoes because everybody
1:00:48realizes it's just garbage ah it's pre
1:00:51garbage cause I I now okay i was looking
1:00:54for a while but now you're just talking
1:00:55crazy words it's like pre compost
1:00:57Bruce's so here that this is all in
1:01:03prelude to what I was about to say which
1:01:06is that I don't like twinkies yeah I
1:01:09like ding-dongs the the ding-dongs more
1:01:12like guys at the cupcake 110 it's the
1:01:15ding dong is wrapped in foil it's the
1:01:17size and shape of a hockey puck and all
1:01:19dying dong
1:01:20yes it's chocolate on the outside and
1:01:23whatever that lardy sugar fat it's real
1:01:27it's real thing is those yes i remember
1:01:29is but it's just barely any of its
1:01:32constituent parts it's just barely
1:01:34chocolate it's just barely cake and it's
1:01:36just barely a filling thing
1:01:38the chocolate is is largely wax it's
1:01:40very waxing the cake is also wax and the
1:01:44filling is just long it's just
1:01:46óleo with sugar yeah and i love them i
1:01:50love ding dong and that here's the thing
1:01:52those hostess cakes on the East Coast
1:01:54have different names that on the west
1:01:56coast yet we could people say yeah exact
1:01:58go ahead
1:01:59well Twinkies are the same uh-huh but
1:02:01then there they have different names for
1:02:02all the other stuff right yeah yeah I
1:02:05think it's one of those best food
1:02:07ailments type situations em right we
1:02:09give a different name on the east and
1:02:11west coast right
1:02:12and my experience was that the Twinkie
1:02:14was the potato chips of of large cake so
1:02:19if you were if you were gonna have one
1:02:22kind of of kids sugar large cake it was
1:02:25going to be a Twinkie
1:02:26oh yes singers front of singers yes
1:02:29singers you don't see this advertised
1:02:31during a charlie brown specials and they
1:02:33were like a little cake with a funny
1:02:37kind of like it's a vanilla cake with a
1:02:39creamy topping on them kind of like a
1:02:43kind of like a frosting you got Twinkies
1:02:45got cupcakes get donuts
1:02:47I do remember the tiny donuts i enjoyed
1:02:49a tiny donut now know what was the what
1:02:52was the one that looks like a Yule Log
1:02:53oh yeah I know what you mean is that oh
1:02:56ho so ho yo ho it with the other hostess
1:03:01Ho we didn't I mean I don't in my mind
1:03:04I'm thinking oh yeah yeah-hoo-hoo you
1:03:06use a rolled-up thing
1:03:07yeah we didn't use to get hohos very
1:03:09often that was more about that seems
1:03:11like something special going home
1:03:13this is horrible but I think it's also
1:03:15my mom will get her hair done
1:03:17I'd go to pony keg next door and get a
1:03:20chocolate milk and a couple of us that
1:03:23started it was a normal thing
1:03:24chocolate milk and a couple holes i want
1:03:26that now or I'm sorry a couple of of the
1:03:31so but this was this was the problem at
1:03:33as as I got older the amount of wax
1:03:37oh yeah went up and the size and and
1:03:42moistness of the ding-dong went down
1:03:44hostess snowballs afraid of us know
1:03:46below I would never eat us
1:03:47no snowballs that's totally not my
1:03:48wheelhouse snowball seems like an old
1:03:51lady food
1:03:51yeah so so let me just say my childhood
1:03:57was was kind of book and did and
1:04:00characterized by the fact that on one
1:04:02end I would not eat potatoes and on the
1:04:04other end I didn't like twinkies
1:04:05problems just like what is this what i
1:04:07want what kind of kid is this people
1:04:09would say that to me kind of kid are you
1:04:12right right you don't like the two great
1:04:13kids foods it's like saying you don't
1:04:15watch TV
1:04:16it's one of those things that doesn't
1:04:17even register as having it something
1:04:19sensible to you like oh no i'd rather
1:04:20just read quietly let you watch TV like
1:04:22that that's weird kids would come to my
1:04:25house and
1:04:26and knock on the door and say mrs.
1:04:27Roderick can John come out and play and
1:04:31my mom would come into my room and say
1:04:32hey a you know Todd and and Tony are
1:04:36here and they want to they want you to
1:04:38go out and play and i would say no
1:04:40thanks
1:04:43hello Wow mom would go back and say I
1:04:45John's busy and maybe he'll come out and
1:04:48play later and they'd be like oh ok and
1:04:51then they go play and I would just be in
1:04:52my room
1:04:53eventually they stop knocking yeah right
1:04:55i'd be in there just doing doing what I
1:04:58was doing doing looking at the house now
1:05:00I'm remembering as I look at these
1:05:01horrible things I would always unroll
1:05:03mine that was part of my ritual you know
1:05:05for any kind of food you like to have a
1:05:06ritual
1:05:08well yeah but I've never heard of that
1:05:09unroll your home unroll your ho ho and
1:05:11their character for the whole was happy
1:05:13ho ho who is a cylindrical Robin Hood
1:05:16character who is quivering he's passing
1:05:18I think that's East Coast only happy ho
1:05:21ho you get this captain guy who is a
1:05:23cupcake you get wind of course you
1:05:24remember Twinkie the kid of course
1:05:26yeah like the cowboy twinky twinky but
1:05:29uh will you send me some pictures of
1:05:30these hoes in their native environment
1:05:33yeah you do a google search on hostess
1:05:35hello OIC so you're not gonna send me
1:05:37the most are you sure yeah I'm a search
1:05:39for them is it didn't it when i send you
1:05:42things in the robot you don't respond i
1:05:43don't know if you got something here you
1:05:45pausing because I think you're confused
1:05:46you heard a bleep noise
1:05:48yeah that happened look at all these
1:05:50there's dig'em see some of these some of
1:05:53these are either later packaging or they
1:05:55are not that's not canonical oh now i'm
1:05:58remembering King dawn was king don was
1:06:01the mascot of the of the of the
1:06:03ding-dong
1:06:04I don't looks like you a little bit he's
1:06:07got a crown and a scepter and a big
1:06:09white mustache
1:06:10maybe that's what i liked about his King
1:06:11Don King Don mm I know although i did
1:06:17just watch that movie the big short and
1:06:19the fact that Brad Pitt looked like
1:06:21Angry me all right through the whole
1:06:23thing I was like he'll it just looks
1:06:25like me when I'm depressed and angry I
1:06:27thought I guess that Bruce Vilanch on
1:06:28shark tank not long ago
1:06:29stop saying Bruce Vilanch i would say
1:06:32that in three years
1:06:33damn it nothing you know what that does
1:06:35that just sets a bunch of people off and
1:06:37they all start sending me pictures of
1:06:38Bruce
1:06:39so mad so mad so i'm not against the
1:06:45idea of the keurig right now at work i
1:06:47do so i got this cuisinart pot that I
1:06:48like because it's got six buttons on it
1:06:50for different temperatures and it goes
1:06:52from what 60 175 185 all the way up to
1:06:57boiling so if you want to have all you
1:07:00know the green tea
1:07:01you're not gonna like singe it nice well
1:07:03why doesn't it just have a AG radiated
1:07:05knob
1:07:06oh I don't know that that's that's like
1:07:08from another generation a knob yeah
1:07:11you're telling me that they've done away
1:07:13with the knob I guess they have one that
1:07:14bespoke buttons work pretty great and
1:07:16it's super fast i haven't seen a knob in
1:07:18a long time on a thing you should talk
1:07:20to John Serkis about this because this
1:07:21is what drives him crazy about the way
1:07:23the toasters work let's say about toes
1:07:25hehe wants a knob
1:07:26he wants a great haha you know what I'm
1:07:29not going to get into it he wants a lot
1:07:30of things about two strands I don't want
1:07:33a toaster oven we had a either as a
1:07:35judge probably black & decker we had a
1:07:36black & decker toaster knows what I'm
1:07:38talking about being 10 we had a black &
1:07:40decker toaster oven when I was a kid
1:07:41that was probably the greatest i've
1:07:43never made you could you could make
1:07:44great toast in it you could make
1:07:46stouffer's uh french bread pizza in it
1:07:49for good
1:07:50you know plans were cut let me tell you
1:07:52another thing you may not know about me
1:07:54ya never had a toaster oven this is just
1:07:57too much for one day except wait a
1:08:00minute so no no potatoes toaster oven
1:08:03no toaster oven we didn't have one in
1:08:05the house it was there's another thing
1:08:06there's another thing you're very famous
1:08:08about what was the more your mom's gonna
1:08:09make you eat them and you wouldn't eat
1:08:10it was you have another food that you're
1:08:13dead set against well olives olives
1:08:17don't need all of you will have a
1:08:18muffaletta who think about a muffaletta
1:08:22ok working i got it
1:08:23yeah it's crazy right yeah yeah yeah no
1:08:27idea but you know my mom made me sit in
1:08:29front of some bowls of peas a couple of
1:08:31times where I didn't eat the peas and
1:08:33she was like that's what you're gonna
1:08:34have for breakfast then and I called her
1:08:36Bluff and then I had peas for breakfast
1:08:37cold peas and then I called her Bluff on
1:08:40that I cold piece for lunch and then in
1:08:43a sense that i started to cry
1:08:44oh you're looking at be boarded well
1:08:46have been at dinner cold peas and then I
1:08:49really was crying
1:08:51oh sheet you she stuck with that yeah
1:08:54she finally I would have crumbled after
1:08:5510 minutes she stayed with it that long
1:08:57no cold p she moved her day around to
1:08:59make sure you got piece that's right
1:09:01cold peas in front of me until I choked
1:09:03those cold Pease down
1:09:05gagging like theatrically gagging with
1:09:08every spoon of Colby's with her just
1:09:10sitting there you know just placid faced
1:09:13like eat the peas
1:09:15oh my behind using or you get no food
1:09:19so that's it not there's no other food
1:09:20you're going to get into these pieces
1:09:22are done this is this is a this is a
1:09:24dependency you need to get done
1:09:25yeah yeah what I was finding was same
1:09:27peas right it's not it's not she's
1:09:30putting out new Colby's it is that these
1:09:32pieces were once hot and they cool down
1:09:34and they're not going to get hot again
1:09:35you're going to see this bowl of peas
1:09:38until they grow a skin on them
1:09:40do you feel like what she will do you
1:09:42have a sense of what she wanted to
1:09:44accomplish and do you think she
1:09:45accomplished it
1:09:46I feel like Michaels with those things
1:09:48is like I was just an ink passing i find
1:09:51myself sometimes doing that I realize
1:09:52I'm doing it more out of anger than
1:09:53parenting know when I do things more out
1:09:55of anger tired whatever frustration than
1:09:57I am out of actually trying to make a
1:09:58point that's what I'm like what the fuck
1:10:00am i doing because mainly what she's
1:10:01gonna remember is I was really super
1:10:03mean an irrational about food
1:10:05well I concern so the irrational and
1:10:08mean about food like that was my dad
1:10:10right he came keep your legs that's it
1:10:12the eggs he didn't you didn't like the
1:10:13way he made the eggs made the eggs wrong
1:10:15and and I had and I cross my arms and
1:10:18said no way because I like my eggs
1:10:20sunny-side up
1:10:21you don't say that David Roderick and he
1:10:22made scrambled eggs and I was like no
1:10:25way I'm am i eating those weird eggs and
1:10:27he was like oh you're going to eat these
1:10:29eggs and we had a battle royale that
1:10:32involved everybody in the family and
1:10:33everybody in the neighborhood about the
1:10:36freaking scrambled eggs so he and i
1:10:39would have showdowns like that over chow
1:10:42mein we would have showdowns like that
1:10:44over up just a lot of thing was it was
1:10:46it was probably because like he made his
1:10:48certain way and you didn't like the way
1:10:50he made it or so here's the crazy thing
1:10:52he made macaroni and cheese according to
1:10:54the directions on the box 8 quarts of
1:10:56water into needs eight quarts of water
1:10:59to make macaroni and cheese and
1:11:00therefore it's at four cores 4 quarts of
1:11:03water that's it four quarts of water and
1:11:04half a stick of butter so the macaroni
1:11:07and cheese sauce would be this like just
1:11:10butter sauces and so I remember when I
1:11:14was living with my dad and he man oh
1:11:16here's the other great thing I may have
1:11:18talked about this before our cabin mom
1:11:20will know who but he would make the
1:11:23macaroni and cheese so I get this he
1:11:26would make the macaroni and cheese sauce
1:11:28for kraft dinner now
1:11:30yeah in a separate pot he would prepare
1:11:33the sauce and then pour the sauce on the
1:11:36noodles when they were did that harm the
1:11:39performance characteristics of the kraft
1:11:40dinner
1:11:41oh absolutely but he didn't know any
1:11:44better because he was following the
1:11:45instructions on the box and the first
1:11:47thing about kraft dinner is you know
1:11:48follow the instructions first rule of
1:11:50kraft dinner club bought first rule is
1:11:52you just put a little bit of butter in
1:11:54there a little bit of milk a little bit
1:11:56of sauce and then you get that nice like
1:11:58sticky
1:12:00yeah that's different i think it feels
1:12:01fancier to make it separately
1:12:03oh yeah that's right he was like I'm
1:12:05gonna make your craft dinner but Don
1:12:07it's like opening a can of chef boyardee
1:12:09spaghetti and meatballs and like and
1:12:12like putting a salad on the plate was
1:12:14gonna say that's a little bit like
1:12:15making somebody boiling bag stouffer's
1:12:17like you know a piece stroganoff and
1:12:19look at porn a bunch of fucking truffle
1:12:21oil on top
1:12:22yeah right that don't do that i don't
1:12:23want that don't mess around and I was
1:12:25like I actually called my mom in Seattle
1:12:27long distance and said mom how do you
1:12:31make macaroni and cheese because dad is
1:12:34doing it wrong and she said oh here's
1:12:37the secret you think his mom my mom will
1:12:39make me kraft macaroni and cheese with
1:12:40water right not even clip milk in it
1:12:43yeah and with the with just a little bit
1:12:46of butter and a little bit of salt and I
1:12:47was like oh my God thank you know my mom
1:12:49was doing that because she was a frugal
1:12:51and be a like crazy or or not crazy but
1:12:57just like your mom has read it strikes
1:12:59me that your mom has reasons why she
1:13:00does most things even if we don't know
1:13:02what that is I think your mom seems to
1:13:04me that she has a reason for almost
1:13:05everything
1:13:05yeah i think what she understood was
1:13:07that the powder the powder cheese what
1:13:10had once been cheese and all that had
1:13:12been taken out of it was the wall
1:13:14ok and so all you needed to do was
1:13:16reconstituted with water
1:13:17ok and it would have all the
1:13:19characteristics of cheese which had what
1:13:21she presumed it had once been she didn't
1:13:24realize that it was orange food coloring
1:13:26and dust and and iced tea mix it was it
1:13:33she she understood it to be cheese and
1:13:35all it needed was and if you put a
1:13:37little milk in it that was sort of a
1:13:38luxury like sure go ahead help yourself
1:13:40so that was a big big contention between
1:13:44me and my dad I think what my mom was
1:13:46trying to do at a certain point was to
1:13:48say you know what enough and as a parent
1:13:52I don't know I don't know where that
1:13:56line is yet it was kind about the food
1:13:59was more about like no she just makes
1:14:01needs to make a stand here m is that was
1:14:03just about anything is the MacGuffin
1:14:05that but it's really more about like no
1:14:07you're not gonna you're not gonna do
1:14:08that you're not going to dictate what
1:14:09food get served
1:14:10yeah you're not you're you we are done
1:14:12with you just arbitrarily deciding that
1:14:16you're gonna you're gonna throw a wrench
1:14:19into the spokes of my road bike as I
1:14:23pass you it trying to be friendly
1:14:27yes trying to be friendly to your
1:14:28Italian bike team and you put your bike
1:14:32pump in the spokes of my wheel about the
1:14:34cutters talking about the cutter sense
1:14:36right
1:14:37she said enough I'm making my stand now
1:14:41and it is over cold Bowl apiece and
1:14:45here's the here is the here is the bad
1:14:49part are you ready yes this happened on
1:14:52Easter gosh this bowl appease happened
1:14:56on Easter and we had just graduated to a
1:15:00thing where the easter bunny was not
1:15:02hiding the eggs anymore because we knew
1:15:03that there was no Easter Bunny and what
1:15:06we were able to do is the kids could
1:15:08hide eggs for each other and then find
1:15:12the eggs and then the next kid got an
1:15:14opportunity to hide the eggs for each
1:15:16other and my mom's boyfriend had five
1:15:18kids so that was like their eight kids
1:15:20at this party everyone hiding eggs for
1:15:24each other and then
1:15:25it was hide-and-go-seek with eggs and I
1:15:28was sitting at the dining room table in
1:15:30front of a cold bowl of peas and so the
1:15:33kids were actually hiding eggs around me
1:15:36they would come into the dining room and
1:15:38they would hide eggs around me hide eggs
1:15:40is there this is complicated
1:15:42they were hiding eggs for each other on
1:15:43my it right around me
1:15:45well I'm saying they're crying over a
1:15:46cold Bowl appease it was it was truly
1:15:49like a it was it is cinched in my memory
1:15:52yeah and this is one of those things
1:15:53that if my school my mom listen to this
1:15:55podcast periodically and then she comes
1:15:57to me and she says that's not how it
1:15:59happened and I say you have a selective
1:16:03memory about things about instances
1:16:06where you were standing in my closet
1:16:09stomping on my toys have them and now
1:16:11she has gia had equal time for that just
1:16:14didn't do it now she denies it
1:16:16completely and she says that's not how
1:16:17it happened
1:16:18here's how it happened and then she
1:16:19tells some story that it is not at all a
1:16:22true story
1:16:24she said some species of bananas stuff
1:16:27about how I was a bad kid or something
1:16:29she was great mom she never laid a
1:16:31finger on me I struggle to try and make
1:16:34the right point because it is is in all
1:16:36honesty trying to make the right point
1:16:39gets so clouded by all the different
1:16:42layers of being inside my own head and
1:16:44combined with trying to do the right
1:16:45thing but like I find it very difficult
1:16:47to know you know here's the thing it's
1:16:50like this is like Buddhism like what if
1:16:52everything's going well in life program
1:16:54is this you know but some mail you don't
1:16:58think about how things are going until
1:16:59they're not going well so we can have
1:17:01the most perfect in the world but then
1:17:02like if it gets towards you know it's
1:17:03bath time and it's time to stop doing
1:17:04whatever the fun thing is now whether
1:17:06thats watching TV or video games or
1:17:08drawing or reading or whatever now it's
1:17:09time to do the next thing this
1:17:11transition times are you know that's
1:17:13where things are tough and like I find
1:17:15myself this is not interesting no one
1:17:16cares but like I find myself really
1:17:18struggling with like okay what's the
1:17:19point that i want to make here is the
1:17:20point that i want to make that you're
1:17:21not gonna push me around
1:17:23wow that's a really weird point to make
1:17:24you're supposed to be the adult here is
1:17:25the point that like sometimes we have to
1:17:27do things we don't want to do is the
1:17:28point here that you know there's this I
1:17:30and I just have to be very careful that
1:17:33I not get emotional before I understand
1:17:36what the point is because it's it's very
1:17:38easy
1:17:39if you especially if you take something
1:17:40personally and especially especially if
1:17:42you don't realize you're taking it
1:17:44personally
1:17:44it gets ugly and stupid fast and I end
1:17:46up apologizing and saying that was
1:17:48really silly i'm not sure why i was so
1:17:50short with you but that was wrong and
1:17:52that's when the tears really come is now
1:17:53apologizing oh you'd never do that
1:17:57well the other day she stomped her foot
1:18:00at me
1:18:01we were out in we're out in public and i
1:18:04said here's what we're gonna do next and
1:18:08she said that's not what I want to do I
1:18:09want to do this and I said well we can't
1:18:11do that because we're we have to do this
1:18:13we have to do this other thing we have
1:18:15to go in this direction because of
1:18:17reasons and she turned put her hands on
1:18:21her hips like little fists on her hips
1:18:25and stomped her feet at me and said no
1:18:29daddy
1:18:30what about you dad and I said with a big
1:18:34smile on my face don't you stop your
1:18:35feet of me you don't stomp your feet at
1:18:38me i am daddy and I don't get feet
1:18:42stomped at me and she's just at the age
1:18:45she's rather still at the age where I
1:18:49can say that and she puts that into her
1:18:51function machine and she goes oh I
1:18:54didn't realize that you don't stomp your
1:18:56feet of daddy but yeah that I've that
1:18:58doesn't work for that that right and
1:19:01that's what I could see that already
1:19:02when you use now you've made some kind
1:19:05of little encoding trail in her brain
1:19:07you may never be able to take back
1:19:09well and so I am so I don't know what
1:19:11I'm doing here right like you don't stop
1:19:12your feet daddy and so what that what
1:19:15that means is that i would she use that
1:19:17when she's 30
1:19:18well and she's so i could see it going
1:19:20in our head like what that means is a
1:19:22you do stomp your feet and other people
1:19:24and daddy is a special case and be daddy
1:19:29thinks you don't stomp your feet at him
1:19:31which I will accept now because the
1:19:34because it's unclear what the results
1:19:37will be if i do right that's still on
1:19:39she's still unsure exactly what daddy is
1:19:42capable of and so but there will come a
1:19:46day when she goes oh yeah let's see
1:19:49let's see what happens if we stop your
1:19:51feet daddy
1:19:51uh-huh and then I don't know what I'm
1:19:53gonna do what do you do
1:19:55it's already I've already laid down the
1:19:56law you don't stomp your feet daddy and
1:19:59I did with a big smile on my face
1:20:00because I thought it was cute as hell
1:20:02when she's stomping your feet of me of
1:20:03course whether little fists on our hips
1:20:05but now what do i do when she stops her
1:20:08feet daddy and I say you don't stop your
1:20:10feet daddy and she does it again
1:20:12I don't know what I'm gonna do i totally
1:20:14agree here's the other one like for
1:20:15example if your kids real little I mean
1:20:17this is like so we've never we've never
1:20:20hit our kid we're not a hitting family
1:20:22but like the one way that i can
1:20:25understand like a smack on the butt for
1:20:27example is like don't run into traffic
1:20:30like I need to make an impression on you
1:20:33about something that just happened so I
1:20:34don't think you have to go hitting but
1:20:36like there are times when a kid is when
1:20:37you are not able to communicate the
1:20:39complexity of why we don't run into the
1:20:41street where you just need to make an
1:20:43impression i do think that that probably
1:20:45it could be wrong Street we're getting
1:20:47you'll get email about this don't you
1:20:48but they're getting people to tell us
1:20:50how we're doing this wrong especially
1:20:50they don't have kids but I but it
1:20:53sometimes you need to make that
1:20:53impression the trouble is first of all
1:20:55that only works for so long and then it
1:20:58becomes what I worry about is it becomes
1:21:01that like something like what I don't
1:21:04want to have that turn into is if things
1:21:06don't go his way
1:21:08dad gets mad mhm what like so what is
1:21:11the point that i want to make there is
1:21:13the point there that like that's your
1:21:14being unkind right now or you're not
1:21:16you're not listening to how your
1:21:17feelings are making you you know be
1:21:18right now like what is one of my sage
1:21:21piece of advice at that amounts to you
1:21:23don't stop your feet daddy I don't know
1:21:25so where do you think she learned the
1:21:26stomp
1:21:27oh I you know I imagine that the stop is
1:21:31partly in a tin her and partly she's
1:21:34going through a phase right now where
1:21:35she's she's real I mean she's always
1:21:38bossed everybody but she's really
1:21:39doubling down on like a know right she's
1:21:46just no to everything and
1:21:49you know my my goal at this point is
1:21:52really not i'm not i don't believe that
1:21:55she has the capacity to understand well
1:21:59even her feelings and so i'm not going
1:22:02through the process yet of uh of being
1:22:07too complicated in explaining or Orion
1:22:11reasoning with her so that she
1:22:14understands you know so that she comes
1:22:16out the other side in better touch with
1:22:18her reality i'm i am at the stage of
1:22:21like you don't stomp your feet daddy
1:22:22which is just as new to you too
1:22:26yeah it's just what it is it is just a
1:22:28rule it's just a it's just a way of
1:22:31saying enough right you're the you are
1:22:35not the boss and there are a lot of ways
1:22:37that you are trying to assert that you
1:22:40are the boss and there are some realms
1:22:43in which you are the boss like I give
1:22:46you lots and lots of things where lots
1:22:48of situations where you are absolutely
1:22:50the boss you decide but there are things
1:22:52that you don't decide right and you will
1:22:55end
1:22:55what where we're going to eat dinner is
1:22:57not a thing that you decide will take
1:22:58your input but in the end that's going
1:23:01to be something that mom decides you do
1:23:03not decide about crossing the street and
1:23:07you don't decide what we're gonna do
1:23:09next if daddy says we can't do this we
1:23:11have to go to that like because reasons
1:23:14you don't decide and your input is in
1:23:16these matters is that you know there
1:23:19will come in a purely advisory role
1:23:22right and and the thing is I am I
1:23:24feeling about it even before she was
1:23:26born I side well I talked about this at
1:23:28length with in my family was that every
1:23:32birthday and in and now that we've
1:23:34established that there are such things
1:23:35as half birthdays and fucking quarter
1:23:39birthdays which I don't know that didn't
1:23:41i didn't that mean that I don't think
1:23:42that's a thing John that didn't come
1:23:44from me I I established the precedent of
1:23:46half birthdays and i immediately
1:23:47regretted it but then she learned that
1:23:51in addition to have their half of a half
1:23:54was a quarter and she was like it's my
1:23:56quarter birthday and I was like my
1:23:57quarter birthday is coming up and I was
1:23:59like oh my god
1:24:00I've never heard of that your quarter
1:24:02birthday she was like yeah don't I get a
1:24:03cupcake on my quarter birthday and I was
1:24:06like okay I just was I you know she's
1:24:11young quarterback days i don't know i
1:24:13established as a precedent and now I'm
1:24:15sure she's 16 years old she can be like
1:24:17it's my corner birthday but i did say in
1:24:21advance of her even being born that
1:24:24there that she should be accorded new
1:24:27rights and privileges as a as a birthday
1:24:30present
1:24:31so now you are seven and you get to pick
1:24:33the following you get to you are now
1:24:36empowered within the family to be this
1:24:40have these new rights and
1:24:41responsibilities so that she'll just so
1:24:45that she thinks of every birthday not
1:24:47just as a time when she gets presence
1:24:49but as another masonic level in her path
1:24:54to being a 33rd degree Mason but mainly
1:24:57mainly wanting more rights and
1:25:00responsibilities
1:25:01well right but but but trying to impart
1:25:03to her that
1:25:04here are your new rights and here are
1:25:06your new responsibilities so that the
1:25:08two things go hand in hand
1:25:10so now you can dress yourself without
1:25:12arguing with your mom and you can wear
1:25:14whatever you want but that means that
1:25:18you put your clothes in the laundry when
1:25:21you get undressed at night huh
1:25:23good luck you know well but you know
1:25:24this is the thing and if you do if you
1:25:26do not perform the responsibility than
1:25:28you then the right is returned
1:25:30understand I understand I don't believe
1:25:31me I understand
1:25:32yeah oh I know I know and we're but
1:25:34Wilson you know we'll see if mrs. the
1:25:36thing about like don't stop repeated
1:25:37daddy and it may just be that that this
1:25:41up what I don't understand is what the
1:25:43consequences are
1:25:44I know I know and if if she's like oh
1:25:47I'm gonna keep dressing myself but i am
1:25:49not going to put my clothes in the
1:25:50laundry then I don't know whether she
1:25:52sits in front of a cold Bowl appease or
1:25:54all of her clothes disappear in the
1:25:56night and all that's left is the white
1:25:59boiler suits from the earliest
1:26:01incarnation of the police
1:26:02let's go you should your gas lighter you
1:26:04know where she just wakes and I had
1:26:06nothing to do with that but that's just
1:26:07life to did that to you there's just six
1:26:09boiler suits and it's like hey baby
1:26:12there it is you know
1:26:13mirror in the bathroom and so I don't
1:26:20know I mean daddy does have significant
1:26:22power significant power to change actual
1:26:25reality where she comes from
1:26:26I did this once to my dad he away for
1:26:29two days on vacation with his girlfriend
1:26:31and while he was gone I painted the
1:26:33walls of his house yellow