Roderick on the Line

Ep. 169: "Again With the Pie"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick online is [TS]

00:00:02   sponsored by cards against humanity this [TS]

00:00:04   month they invited set boyer to help me [TS]

00:00:07   say hi to john came [TS]

00:00:20   hello hi John hi bear would posit [TS]

00:00:24   colleague pretty good it sounds like a [TS]

00:00:27   congested jello biafra who a Pepsi blue [TS]

00:00:32   fish and dyad fucking dragon lady fights [TS]

00:00:37   tied but I don't know what's going on [TS]

00:00:41   with me i was up until four thirty in [TS]

00:00:43   the morning last night and then I i've [TS]

00:00:46   reverted immediately to type right by my [TS]

00:00:50   people are all in France and it took me [TS]

00:00:52   three days to just like completely [TS]

00:00:54   completely reverb yeah that's it that's [TS]

00:00:58   all it took m130 in the morning but now [TS]

00:01:00   it seems to me that yet on the one hand [TS]

00:01:02   it is your natural predilection to be a [TS]

00:01:04   night owl but on the other hand the [TS]

00:01:06   thing that brings the night owl pneus [TS]

00:01:07   out in you is some kind of an interest [TS]

00:01:10   often online where were you drawn to [TS]

00:01:12   that are you sorting things what kept [TS]

00:01:14   you up I was balancing angels ok on the [TS]

00:01:20   head of a pin [TS]

00:01:21   oh that's so nice and then I was [TS]

00:01:23   balancing the entire contraption on the [TS]

00:01:25   tip of my finger [TS]

00:01:26   mm see angels all the way down that's [TS]

00:01:29   right so if you can sit right very right [TS]

00:01:31   so if you can imagine it's kind of a tea [TS]

00:01:33   at Rosings ani it's a little bit of a [TS]

00:01:36   circus circus but the latest la banda [TS]

00:01:41   saturday for the central pay ten it's [TS]

00:01:44   got it's a it's a flying Karamazov [TS]

00:01:46   brothers of angels ooh tiny angels it's [TS]

00:01:51   like a heavenly flea circus [TS]

00:01:53   that's precisely what it is i pay for [TS]

00:01:56   that you know I that's when people that [TS]

00:01:57   when people would say how many angels [TS]

00:01:59   can you balance on that of a pin i would [TS]

00:02:01   always imagined it just like a flea [TS]

00:02:03   circus [TS]

00:02:03   I don't know what you don't you say all [TS]

00:02:05   of them that was like sure if that was [TS]

00:02:07   the google interview question i would [TS]

00:02:09   just say all of them problem [TS]

00:02:10   yeah i mean how many prove me wrong [TS]

00:02:13   show your math every angel all the [TS]

00:02:17   Angels even all the great angels even [TS]

00:02:20   the late angel but the to the chubby [TS]

00:02:23   angel that's always late [TS]

00:02:24   i'm sowwy he's gonna come up and pop in [TS]

00:02:27   the future [TS]

00:02:28   he gets on there too sowwy bars [TS]

00:02:32   angel angel well I'll have your badge [TS]

00:02:37   I was gonna ask you how life without the [TS]

00:02:39   family i think i mentioned probably [TS]

00:02:41   after we stopped recording last time I [TS]

00:02:42   can't recall but just how i descend [TS]

00:02:44   usually within less than 36 hours into a [TS]

00:02:48   nearly feral State yeah that was part of [TS]

00:02:50   the Roderick on the line after dark [TS]

00:02:53   after dark that we always don't record [TS]

00:02:56   that's right we're just doing shots and [TS]

00:02:57   talking about life just talking about [TS]

00:02:59   like some of the funniest stuff some of [TS]

00:03:00   the most amazing [TS]

00:03:02   oh my gosh we have fun don't we boy we [TS]

00:03:04   really do we get in there we talk about [TS]

00:03:05   get religion you get sent me some of the [TS]

00:03:08   stuff that we can talk about on the [TS]

00:03:09   program Ron Paul revolution [TS]

00:03:11   well it's all in there yeah you i mean i [TS]

00:03:14   have seen you get turned into a feral [TS]

00:03:17   dog so fast faster than almost any other [TS]

00:03:20   person if you if you are not like [TS]

00:03:24   actually literally being shaved like [TS]

00:03:30   restrained at some kind of a clinic [TS]

00:03:32   well just like it as you are shaving one [TS]

00:03:35   part of you the other part is bursting [TS]

00:03:38   forth like you know Wolverine styling [TS]

00:03:41   yeah well here's the thing well here's [TS]

00:03:42   the hmm here's the thing about that is [TS]

00:03:45   that I am less of a totally distracted [TS]

00:03:50   basket case then i have been at other [TS]

00:03:51   times in my life but I am still a very [TS]

00:03:54   distractible basket case [TS]

00:03:55   so you know it'sit's you see me in your [TS]

00:03:57   home like a come in i've got a little [TS]

00:03:59   bag of stuff and pretty soon the stuff [TS]

00:04:00   is everywhere and I can't find anything [TS]

00:04:02   i don't have to feed myself anymore i [TS]

00:04:03   get i get very confused very quickly [TS]

00:04:05   yeah yeah well and it's a it's [TS]

00:04:07   delightful it's what makes us great it's [TS]

00:04:09   a great effect to have at a bar right [TS]

00:04:14   when you when I see you come into a bar [TS]

00:04:15   and you spread your stuff all around and [TS]

00:04:18   and that night riii stand by the door [TS]

00:04:20   with everything in my bag the bag is [TS]

00:04:22   zipped up and I am no more than three [TS]

00:04:24   paces from the door at all really soon [TS]

00:04:26   you're standing on a barstool heart the [TS]

00:04:29   bartender is is a is it becomes a [TS]

00:04:32   lifelong friend i'm a call that's true i [TS]

00:04:35   make knocking excellent grandma moses i [TS]

00:04:37   am ready to go anywhere very quickly I i [TS]

00:04:39   am i'm kind of a little bit famous for [TS]

00:04:42   this I think is heard of the protocol [TS]

00:04:43   the French accent I've heard it called [TS]

00:04:45   the irish exit [TS]

00:04:46   I'm not sure what kind of exit is but I [TS]

00:04:49   don't like taking a long time to leave [TS]

00:04:52   somewhere so whereas i will spread out [TS]

00:04:54   in a hotel room or your home in that [TS]

00:04:56   little special secret room under the [TS]

00:04:58   stairs i will take harry potter sleeping [TS]

00:05:01   in John's house i will keep all of my [TS]

00:05:03   stuff ready I am always waiting for the [TS]

00:05:05   opportunity to leave anywhere all the [TS]

00:05:07   time [TS]

00:05:07   that's what is because why I always [TS]

00:05:09   imagined that backpack was actually a [TS]

00:05:10   parachute right part of it is like a [TS]

00:05:13   rash you can't say what the rest is yeah [TS]

00:05:15   and i know you like to be the last [TS]

00:05:16   person to dive onto the plane or the [TS]

00:05:18   last person to dive off of the muni [TS]

00:05:20   train [TS]

00:05:20   I've seen this you I used to think you [TS]

00:05:22   were making it up but it's true you [TS]

00:05:23   stand dead still in my pajamas are [TS]

00:05:25   stopped and you're like kind of comic [TS]

00:05:27   barely moving your head shaking i got [TS]

00:05:29   like don't even acknowledge that were [TS]

00:05:31   together this can be used against us [TS]

00:05:33   later and in film you gotta get through [TS]

00:05:35   that door at the last possible second [TS]

00:05:37   house and I because yeah because reasons [TS]

00:05:39   because reason because privacy secrecy [TS]

00:05:42   now that it didn't you in your behind a [TS]

00:05:46   couple times in the last couple years [TS]

00:05:48   hasn't it didn't miss a flight recently [TS]

00:05:50   because of that you know what I missed a [TS]

00:05:51   couple of flights and what happened was [TS]

00:05:53   the airline industry keeps changing the [TS]

00:05:56   rules it keeps moving the goalposts so [TS]

00:06:00   they started doing this thing where [TS]

00:06:02   they're like well if you're not you know [TS]

00:06:03   the the flight leaves at seven forty but [TS]

00:06:07   the doors close at seven twenty yep and [TS]

00:06:11   it's like what was then the flight [TS]

00:06:13   leaves at seven twenty no no the flight [TS]

00:06:16   leaves at seven forty but the doors and [TS]

00:06:19   I'm like well no that's not on the [TS]

00:06:20   ticket dude butterflies names doors [TS]

00:06:22   doors being printed on the ticket right [TS]

00:06:24   I've been on plenty of flights that left [TS]

00:06:25   at 740 where the door is closed at seven [TS]

00:06:28   forty and then the plane sat at the [TS]

00:06:31   airport for another hour and a half or [TS]

00:06:33   so let's not fuck around with like the [TS]

00:06:36   flight leaves its when the doors closes [TS]

00:06:38   when the flight leaves so yeah I was [TS]

00:06:40   sitting in the sitting in the airport [TS]

00:06:41   looking around enjoying myself cleaning [TS]

00:06:45   my nails yes [TS]

00:06:46   scanning for a people and sandals [TS]

00:06:49   that's right look that's right making [TS]

00:06:51   sure that the that there's not some [TS]

00:06:53   screaming baby issuing citations [TS]

00:06:55   a little you know a little bit yeah you [TS]

00:06:57   want to make sure the thing about a [TS]

00:06:59   specter agent who is that you're going [TS]

00:07:01   to be able to pick that Spectre agent [TS]

00:07:03   out not by their own behavior but how [TS]

00:07:05   they react to your behavior and then all [TS]

00:07:08   of a sudden I look up in the doors [TS]

00:07:10   yes I write what I walk over and I'm [TS]

00:07:11   like a I'm on this line they're like not [TS]

00:07:14   anymore [TS]

00:07:15   good luck finding somebody i'm off and I [TS]

00:07:18   bet those reasons for this [TS]

00:07:19   I bet I I think I know two things about [TS]

00:07:21   this kind of i know that an airplane [TS]

00:07:24   only makes money when it's in the air [TS]

00:07:25   and I know that there's a lot of [TS]

00:07:28   pressure [TS]

00:07:29   I pretty sure is a lot of pressure on [TS]

00:07:31   the whole flight crew to keep their [TS]

00:07:33   delays down because it looks bad to the [TS]

00:07:35   company and it looks bad to the public [TS]

00:07:36   when you go look something up online [TS]

00:07:37   records on this stuff right we got [TS]

00:07:39   record i sent you that link to that that [TS]

00:07:41   that amazing website where you can watch [TS]

00:07:42   real time flight information like you [TS]

00:07:45   know you know that's not likely exposed [TS]

00:07:46   you can go and see hey this this flight [TS]

00:07:48   from San Francisco Portland is a is late [TS]

00:07:51   you know fourteen percent of the time or [TS]

00:07:53   so yeah so I'll bet that's it is also [TS]

00:07:55   that maybe there's something that makes [TS]

00:07:57   them look better they get everybody [TS]

00:07:58   backed into the fart tube quicker and [TS]

00:08:01   that looks better on their quarterly [TS]

00:08:02   report may be so I am incapable of like [TS]

00:08:06   a lot of people my generation night and [TS]

00:08:08   I don't you know we love you in to my [TS]

00:08:10   generation me let me know when you're 18 [TS]

00:08:12   months older than me or something [TS]

00:08:15   coupled in that but I find that I am now [TS]

00:08:21   constitutionally incapable of having em [TS]

00:08:23   any sympathy or even like certainly no [TS]

00:08:28   co measure commas commiseration but also [TS]

00:08:30   like no even like shared understanding [TS]

00:08:34   with anyone in the airline industry [TS]

00:08:36   right i cannot even if all the facts are [TS]

00:08:39   there if it's all laid out like oh this [TS]

00:08:41   makes perfect sense i cannot sympathize [TS]

00:08:43   with them because they are because it [TS]

00:08:46   seems to me that they have all agreed [TS]

00:08:47   that their business model relies on [TS]

00:08:49   torturing people before for money i [TS]

00:08:53   think this becoming it's funny because [TS]

00:08:55   in that it's not like they didn't want [TS]

00:08:57   to make money 50 years ago but for a [TS]

00:08:59   variety of reasons that are too likely [TS]

00:09:01   to get into today it is a naturally [TS]

00:09:03   necessarily adversarial relationship [TS]

00:09:06   with a lot of gotchas and like anything [TS]

00:09:08   when [TS]

00:09:08   just certain age you're always wondering [TS]

00:09:10   who's trying to fuck you like who's [TS]

00:09:11   gonna screw me today and like what [TS]

00:09:13   should I be looking for and in the [TS]

00:09:15   airline industry I mean that is real it [TS]

00:09:17   is totally real they're going to do as [TS]

00:09:19   little as possible for you with a few [TS]

00:09:20   resources as possible and find as many [TS]

00:09:22   things they can't charge for kids that's [TS]

00:09:24   just the way the industry works and to [TS]

00:09:26   act like it's anything else and talk [TS]

00:09:27   about things like loyalty loyalty really [TS]

00:09:29   what's your loyalty to me i can't find [TS]

00:09:31   anybody to talk to get my family on a [TS]

00:09:32   plane [TS]

00:09:33   yeah well I'm and the and more than any [TS]

00:09:36   other more than any other thing in them [TS]

00:09:39   in the contemporary world they have a [TS]

00:09:41   they have adopted the idea that [TS]

00:09:44   seniority by which they mean this [TS]

00:09:48   strange loyalty thing that you're [TS]

00:09:50   talking about like the more money that [TS]

00:09:51   you pay to us the more opportunities [TS]

00:09:56   were going to give you to opt out of [TS]

00:09:59   being waterboarded yeah and and without [TS]

00:10:03   that without that uh that by him [TS]

00:10:08   your only other option is to pay a user [TS]

00:10:12   eous fee you know to pay twenty-five [TS]

00:10:15   hundred dollars for a ticket right and [TS]

00:10:17   look at the at the middling levels of [TS]

00:10:19   that seniority you mainly get the [TS]

00:10:21   opportunity to pay slightly less to be [TS]

00:10:23   waterboarded but your student to not be [TS]

00:10:25   waterboarded but you're gonna pay [TS]

00:10:26   yeah you're still gonna you're still [TS]

00:10:27   going to sit in in a in an iron maiden [TS]

00:10:30   while we like pissing your mat so the [TS]

00:10:33   only way [TS]

00:10:33   mmm that sounds very adult forget to [TS]

00:10:36   Like lufthansa the actually there there [TS]

00:10:39   it's called the it's called the what was [TS]

00:10:41   that may be nicer [TS]

00:10:42   that's what was the one we crashed in me [TS]

00:10:44   in in the Alps the guy decided that he [TS]

00:10:47   will write that I've done I'm done you [TS]

00:10:48   know it's not easy jet it was fly it was [TS]

00:10:51   5i applies and scheisse like sunshine i [TS]

00:10:55   was Luke chase shy set but you're [TS]

00:10:58   absolutely right knee and the only way [TS]

00:11:00   that happens is deliberate like we're [TS]

00:11:02   gonna I mean it's a total win for them [TS]

00:11:04   you get a lighter narrower seat you put [TS]

00:11:07   more people into the into the fart tube [TS]

00:11:09   and then you charge them to basically to [TS]

00:11:12   be in a seat that is that is not [TS]

00:11:13   deliberately uncomfortable [TS]

00:11:15   oh and with the lean back lean not [TS]

00:11:18   looking was you know they they used all [TS]

00:11:20   that [TS]

00:11:20   after nine eleven gas prices went crazy [TS]

00:11:23   you know they they made all those [TS]

00:11:26   modifications and justified them at the [TS]

00:11:28   time because gas is so expensive that [TS]

00:11:30   they couldn't possibly profit anymore [TS]

00:11:32   and so they had to do this they were [TS]

00:11:34   being forced to do this by economics [TS]

00:11:38   they're being forced to do this by the [TS]

00:11:39   market there was no other way airlines [TS]

00:11:41   were going the whole idea of flying was [TS]

00:11:45   going to disappear from our minds [TS]

00:11:48   because of because gas prices that made [TS]

00:11:50   it had made it impossible and then when [TS]

00:11:54   gas prices went down again they did not [TS]

00:11:59   it was not like these are emergency [TS]

00:12:01   measures and we're going to repeal them [TS]

00:12:03   as soon as this this national crisis is [TS]

00:12:06   over [TS]

00:12:07   like when gas prices went down they [TS]

00:12:09   continued up you continued on that on [TS]

00:12:13   that on that are just like oh wow we [TS]

00:12:15   figured out that we can take away all [TS]

00:12:17   the padding from the seats and people [TS]

00:12:19   still fly what would happen if we put a [TS]

00:12:23   dead rat in every fourth seat under the [TS]

00:12:27   padding but people still fly appears [TS]

00:12:29   they do and what would happen if we put [TS]

00:12:32   a hat pin in every 15th armrest wow [TS]

00:12:37   people let's put one in every arm rest [TS]

00:12:39   well let's be honest gas prices were [TS]

00:12:41   pretty expensive so happens at pins [TS]

00:12:44   right let's take let's make sure let's [TS]

00:12:46   let's make it impossible to check a bag [TS]

00:12:47   and and then it turns into a kind of [TS]

00:12:51   like world war z on every airplane as [TS]

00:12:55   people try to cram their luggage in the [TS]

00:12:57   overhead compartments which used to that [TS]

00:13:00   you know you overhead compartments you [TS]

00:13:02   used to be able to you could have a [TS]

00:13:04   skateboarding competition and mostly [TS]

00:13:06   they were empty because people people [TS]

00:13:08   are going to bags and a sousaphone [TS]

00:13:09   because they don't spend $15 and they're [TS]

00:13:12   happy they're happy to charge you for [TS]

00:13:13   that yeah so then the airline's then it [TS]

00:13:14   then it takes 45 minutes to board [TS]

00:13:16   instead of 15 minutes to board and then [TS]

00:13:18   they're like oh boy we're running out of [TS]

00:13:20   where you know it takes too long to [TS]

00:13:21   board so now the door is closed 20 [TS]

00:13:23   minutes guys to me the huge question [TS]

00:13:26   mark is well first of all you have the [TS]

00:13:28   the human problem [TS]

00:13:29   of well the human and business problem [TS]

00:13:31   of there are more and more people [TS]

00:13:32   traveling who are bringing big things on [TS]

00:13:34   every extra thing that somebody brings [TS]

00:13:36   on there i think has a geometric [TS]

00:13:38   contribution to how long it takes and [TS]

00:13:40   people don't understand like get the [TS]

00:13:41   fuck out of the aisle get out of the [TS]

00:13:43   i'll spend no time in the aisle unless [TS]

00:13:45   you are moving movement ok they don't [TS]

00:13:47   get that but then I don't understand i [TS]

00:13:50   think this has been experimented with on [TS]

00:13:52   various airlines but the way these [TS]

00:13:53   planes board is bananas [TS]

00:13:55   why well first of all there's no like of [TS]

00:13:57   seeming science to like figuring out how [TS]

00:13:59   to load from the back first and there's [TS]

00:14:01   also the financial component of hey it's [TS]

00:14:03   not it's not gonna be fair to all those [TS]

00:14:05   all those seniority people to let the [TS]

00:14:08   people in the back of the plane get on [TS]

00:14:10   first right they have to be want to [TS]

00:14:12   spend as much time on the plan as you [TS]

00:14:13   possibly can he might be at you know [TS]

00:14:15   active military service in uniform [TS]

00:14:17   platinum gold silver plus international [TS]

00:14:19   100k with a child that needs extra time [TS]

00:14:22   right right so i mean it's it's so funny [TS]

00:14:24   when I sometimes like recently on a [TS]

00:14:26   flight was an easy flight to Portland [TS]

00:14:28   not too long ago and i was saying [TS]

00:14:29   seating group to because i was in like [TS]

00:14:33   United you know plus or whatever maybe [TS]

00:14:36   slightly bigger chair and I don't you [TS]

00:14:38   get priority boarding half the plane got [TS]

00:14:42   on your activity because you got 200 200 [TS]

00:14:45   game military yeah the diamond platinum [TS]

00:14:50   silver group thank you for your service [TS]

00:14:52   the thing that drives me crazy is [TS]

00:14:53   somewhere along the line at it as we [TS]

00:14:56   became as the airline's reduced us to [TS]

00:14:59   our tour most basic like bergen-belsen [TS]

00:15:05   that level of like a human animal God [TS]

00:15:11   people forgot people people realized [TS]

00:15:15   that even if they were seated in row 34 [TS]

00:15:17   they can put their bag [TS]

00:15:20   oh yeah right and so all the people [TS]

00:15:25   loading of the back of the plan get on [TS]

00:15:26   they put their to put their bags in the [TS]

00:15:29   first available bin right which which [TS]

00:15:31   might be on well 11 because they are [TS]

00:15:34   going to have to go by there again [TS]

00:15:35   wonder where everyone have your back [TS]

00:15:37   behind you but you're more than happy to [TS]

00:15:39   your bag in front of you yeah so this is [TS]

00:15:41   another this is another thing where I [TS]

00:15:43   used to sit in the airport and wait [TS]

00:15:45   until the last possible moment and i'm [TS]

00:15:47   not you know what when they said we're [TS]

00:15:50   going to charge you for the first six [TS]

00:15:53   rows of coach we're going to charge you [TS]

00:15:55   a hundred dollars more for the six first [TS]

00:15:58   six rows of coach because we're gonna [TS]

00:15:59   give you an inch more of legroom I was [TS]

00:16:02   like okay you know what I turned into [TS]

00:16:05   Todd Barry I was like okay fine i'll pay [TS]

00:16:10   your hundred fucking dollars like [TS]

00:16:11   whatever I if you've got me right [TS]

00:16:17   I'm just a fucking I'm just a calf being [TS]

00:16:22   fatted for slaughter you just a meat [TS]

00:16:26   wallet is the big moist media object [TS]

00:16:30   that happens to have a little bit of [TS]

00:16:31   money right and when they said now we're [TS]

00:16:33   going to charge you to sit in the exit [TS]

00:16:35   row which is a which is this place as a [TS]

00:16:37   seat which carries with it tremendous [TS]

00:16:39   responsibility and we're also going to [TS]

00:16:42   charge you to adopt that responsibility [TS]

00:16:44   and also seats don't recline I was like [TS]

00:16:47   you know what fine okay fine but then [TS]

00:16:50   i'm sitting in the airport waiting for [TS]

00:16:53   the waiting to be the last person on the [TS]

00:16:54   plane enjoying the airport ambiens not [TS]

00:16:57   yet crammed into the fart tube and then [TS]

00:16:59   I am the last one on I get down to my [TS]

00:17:02   seat which i have paid a hundred dollars [TS]

00:17:04   extra for enroll one and there's no [TS]

00:17:08   place for my bag because somebody in row [TS]

00:17:10   34 cramming their bag in there on the [TS]

00:17:13   way by yep there's no there's no attempt [TS]

00:17:15   at the provenance they're not trying to [TS]

00:17:16   detect first of all I think they're [TS]

00:17:18   super fast and loose about what people [TS]

00:17:20   actually carry on [TS]

00:17:21   they have all those owners signs and [TS]

00:17:22   shit but I see so many people carrying [TS]

00:17:25   three things on there and they got like [TS]

00:17:26   they got a fucking create a fruit [TS]

00:17:28   oh sure their whole marriage my medics [TS]

00:17:31   they vary as medics yeah yeah no they're [TS]

00:17:34   not stopping them which is weird to me [TS]

00:17:35   it's almost like they want to see us [TS]

00:17:36   fight it out mad max-style yeah because [TS]

00:17:39   you then you turn to the to the to the [TS]

00:17:41   flight attendant [TS]

00:17:42   hey i'm in this seat and there's no [TS]

00:17:44   place for my bag and they look at you [TS]

00:17:46   like how like the other child to give [TS]

00:17:50   you never flown before don't you know [TS]

00:17:52   you need to run in here and tear people [TS]

00:17:53   apart yeah yeah right exactly [TS]

00:17:56   oh yeah we know we called your row a [TS]

00:17:58   long time ago the guy said and I was [TS]

00:18:00   like well yeah I know it's not like you [TS]

00:18:04   called my row [TS]

00:18:06   I mean I i get to get on when I want but [TS]

00:18:08   apparently there are new rules like this [TS]

00:18:11   was new right up until five years ago [TS]

00:18:14   you there was a general there was a [TS]

00:18:17   social compact yeah you put your bag [TS]

00:18:20   above your own seat it would never never [TS]

00:18:22   in a bike and I cannot imagine in 1999 [TS]

00:18:26   someone putting their bag above unless [TS]

00:18:30   you know unless it was like well it [TS]

00:18:32   never would have happened if you put [TS]

00:18:34   your bag of somebody else's seated never [TS]

00:18:35   would have had it would have it would [TS]

00:18:36   have been like it would have been like [TS]

00:18:38   you put your underwear on somebody [TS]

00:18:40   else's head keep your underwear on your [TS]

00:18:43   own head over anyway Merlin I don't want [TS]

00:18:46   to turn our great show in this wonderful [TS]

00:18:49   time that you and I have to spend [TS]

00:18:51   together [TS]

00:18:51   yes into another anti airline podcast [TS]

00:18:56   there are so many of those that should [TS]

00:18:57   be that should be a spin-off and you are [TS]

00:18:59   not you are about to get on an airplane [TS]

00:19:02   yes are you what are you doing driving [TS]

00:19:04   yes [TS]

00:19:05   yeah yeah yeah i bought my flight late [TS]

00:19:07   and so I actually am in I'm in the [TS]

00:19:11   bathroom area and there's exactly hoping [TS]

00:19:13   for one of the San Francisco to pdx [TS]

00:19:14   plates [TS]

00:19:15   it's like you're 30-something center [TS]

00:19:17   seat but you know what skin [TS]

00:19:18   hour-and-a-half flight [TS]

00:19:19   yes you did stand on your head yeah yeah [TS]

00:19:22   I'm doing that is you just play Pocket [TS]

00:19:25   pool for an hour and a half but maybe we [TS]

00:19:26   could have a blanket please I'm going [TS]

00:19:30   good too XOXO festival [TS]

00:19:32   um excuse me could I have a fresh [TS]

00:19:34   blanket believe you would wake was [TS]

00:19:38   setting is it was that moist scraping [TS]

00:19:40   noise that monkey another the hydraulics [TS]

00:19:44   that's no 40 of shingles [TS]

00:19:47   ahh ladies and gentlemen once again can [TS]

00:19:52   I ask everybody with the with shingles [TS]

00:19:54   at any point our pint please stop [TS]

00:19:57   servicing the shell hundred the [TS]

00:19:59   complimentary blanket once again like [TS]

00:20:02   this comment [TS]

00:20:02   Oh once again once again into the breach [TS]

00:20:08   when immortan joe says that in in fury [TS]

00:20:12   road it's funny because like i always [TS]

00:20:14   think of the airline's you know because [TS]

00:20:16   the very very very very very first words [TS]

00:20:18   out of anyone's mouth on the plane every [TS]

00:20:20   time is like a lot of on your laptop to [TS]

00:20:23   facilitate high well Zaun pocket for a [TS]

00:20:26   quiet place for out of the heart was [TS]

00:20:30   possible it was all so here's what you [TS]

00:20:32   know what fuck this we're not gonna talk [TS]

00:20:34   about planes i also hate how they have [TS]

00:20:35   to have two words for everything you did [TS]

00:20:38   get up until you come to a full and [TS]

00:20:40   complete stop [TS]

00:20:41   mm one great i got a whole list of these [TS]

00:20:43   I believe that I've written I have [TS]

00:20:44   written these down i have with me here [TS]

00:20:47   I know I read some short fiction about [TS]

00:20:48   this one time yeah about the about the [TS]

00:20:50   use of two words to describe everything [TS]

00:20:53   ok what are some of the other ones but [TS]

00:20:55   yeah there's a lot of redundancy on a [TS]

00:20:57   plane anyway and I don't talk about that [TS]

00:20:59   I've never read your fiction i feel like [TS]

00:21:00   this is something this is this to me [TS]

00:21:04   there's a reason for that [TS]

00:21:06   I won't even read my fiction who I [TS]

00:21:08   thought about this the other day why [TS]

00:21:10   don't you write fiction there was a time [TS]

00:21:11   when you were young you tried to write [TS]

00:21:13   fiction wrote fiction all the time [TS]

00:21:14   Sheriff fiction but uh but it's not it's [TS]

00:21:17   just not in me [TS]

00:21:18   oh my goodness it's a who you know it's [TS]

00:21:21   like yeah it's a lot of work and who [TS]

00:21:23   really wants to read it [TS]

00:21:24   yeah right you sit down here like uh [TS]

00:21:26   mazing clots lives in a neighborhood in [TS]

00:21:34   a house they should always open with [TS]

00:21:36   whether that's the thing always open [TS]

00:21:38   with whether Maisie Glotz looked out [TS]

00:21:39   upon the rain the pounding rain the [TS]

00:21:43   American seen purple throw like poetry [TS]

00:21:49   at this point you know like i said my [TS]

00:21:51   piece has a young verse Smith that you [TS]

00:21:54   know the other people who read poems or [TS]

00:21:56   other poets and I know it's not entirely [TS]

00:21:59   true fiction today but it kind of feels [TS]

00:22:00   that way sometimes but it's just other [TS]

00:22:02   fiction writers we I don't know I don't [TS]

00:22:04   know I can say what I did this morning [TS]

00:22:05   i'm sitting here I'm gonna happen a lot [TS]

00:22:08   of pain right now [TS]

00:22:09   Oh No [TS]

00:22:10   you know they did you decide on a hat [TS]

00:22:13   pin in my dreams [TS]

00:22:15   now I pulled a muscle in my neck opening [TS]

00:22:19   a curtain [TS]

00:22:20   Wow and it's an easy curtain [TS]

00:22:23   it's like a real light curtain all I did [TS]

00:22:24   was whisked away with with a kind of [TS]

00:22:27   like zen-like certainly like a wish and [TS]

00:22:29   I went a little bit too hard and now i [TS]

00:22:32   can barely move my head [TS]

00:22:33   did did did did your children gather [TS]

00:22:36   around and put your you're clear plastic [TS]

00:22:39   carapace on you're not haha yes they [TS]

00:22:44   separated they spray some stuff on the I [TS]

00:22:46   guess that's probably they're probably [TS]

00:22:47   sunscreen they spray on Emma trapped in [TS]

00:22:49   your 59 Cadillac mark medals be so great [TS]

00:22:55   if my daughter would put me in a bit of [TS]

00:22:56   plastic carapace and pin my non-existent [TS]

00:22:58   metals to me [TS]

00:22:59   yeah just be like you are chrome now [TS]

00:23:01   shiny chrome she's already at school CC [TS]

00:23:03   that you saw the movie huh what you [TS]

00:23:05   talking about [TS]

00:23:06   yeah I want to see the movie the other [TS]

00:23:08   night again at the cinerama oh nice [TS]

00:23:14   Paul Allen's Paul Allen's in her life [TS]

00:23:17   and made outer and it was like a [TS]

00:23:22   midnight show and I was driving around [TS]

00:23:26   the lonely streets pretty much exactly [TS]

00:23:31   like glenn frey in Joshua Tree know and [TS]

00:23:37   we belong to the night [TS]

00:23:38   oh yeah to see you know the steam coming [TS]

00:23:42   out of this the steam holy very says [TS]

00:23:46   that cinematographic it was [TS]

00:23:48   cinematographic I was driving around the [TS]

00:23:50   town all by my lonesome just just [TS]

00:23:53   looking at the night crawlers and I was [TS]

00:23:56   like there's the cinerama oh they're [TS]

00:23:58   playing uh mad max fury road [TS]

00:24:00   oh there's a midnight show oh I'm gonna [TS]

00:24:03   go and hold them and I went inside by [TS]

00:24:04   myself in the middle of the night my god [TS]

00:24:06   and it's a yeah it's it's I'm watching [TS]

00:24:12   it over and over now about the watch it [TS]

00:24:14   over and over stage I know me 2i and I [TS]

00:24:16   don't really like a movie because i [TS]

00:24:19   watch it over and over all watch it [TS]

00:24:21   when I first got my hands on a copy i [TS]

00:24:23   was watching it twice a night which is [TS]

00:24:25   weird every you got your hands on a copy [TS]

00:24:27   how do you do know you can't but as soon [TS]

00:24:29   as the movie would end and you know he'd [TS]

00:24:32   give that little nod and then little [TS]

00:24:33   elevators going and you're like I'm like [TS]

00:24:35   that's it [TS]

00:24:36   no just turn it back on it- i really [TS]

00:24:38   like because i'll start like partway [TS]

00:24:39   through wrong I'll jump I'll jump [TS]

00:24:40   straight to the like the last act or you [TS]

00:24:42   know I don't know I just want to watch [TS]

00:24:44   that one wants that dust storm [TS]

00:24:47   oh man sequence i have talked about this [TS]

00:24:50   a movie a lot in a lot of places so I [TS]

00:24:53   don't overdo it but there is something [TS]

00:24:55   just spectacular about it and I sensed i [TS]

00:24:59   still am amazed and and watching the [TS]

00:25:01   behind-the-scenes stuff I can't talk [TS]

00:25:03   about this a long time like [TS]

00:25:04   behind-the-scenes stuff where are you [TS]

00:25:06   getting all this extra material [TS]

00:25:08   well you can be something that you [TS]

00:25:10   torrented I don't know what that is also [TS]

00:25:13   avoid torrance they're dangerous [TS]

00:25:14   did you go on the onion 1 the Deep Web i [TS]

00:25:18   watched the netflix movie about the [TS]

00:25:20   darknet at the dark the dark web when [TS]

00:25:24   you tell you didn't tell you told you [TS]

00:25:25   not to go into his work is really more [TS]

00:25:27   about silk road it was something that [TS]

00:25:29   was meant to be so it's directed this [TS]

00:25:31   directed by Bill and Ted Bell Ted will [TS]

00:25:33   build directed it and Ted is the [TS]

00:25:36   narrator and it's mostly about Silk Road [TS]

00:25:38   out cocks to this and said his name was [TS]

00:25:41   not to get the decision Nancy I'm [TS]

00:25:42   confused [TS]

00:25:43   well you know this pointer alex winter [TS]

00:25:45   this winter yeah so anyway it was good [TS]

00:25:48   and it was really sad it was super set i [TS]

00:25:50   learned that screams you ready for this [TS]

00:25:52   guess what turns out that I I one point [TS]

00:25:54   they showed they they said this guy [TS]

00:25:56   lived in west portal and they showed a [TS]

00:25:59   flash and turns out he was living in a [TS]

00:26:01   place that I go by all the time that's [TS]

00:26:04   just about half a mile from my house [TS]

00:26:06   wow did you go knock on the front door [TS]

00:26:08   is not listed as I've always known this [TS]

00:26:11   place to be totally sketch it has a real [TS]

00:26:12   Russian mobster feel you no idea if [TS]

00:26:15   you're leaving from my house take the l [TS]

00:26:16   and you make that right turn onto 15 [TS]

00:26:18   yeah by the butcher shop and there's [TS]

00:26:20   this place on the corner sometimes it's [TS]

00:26:21   a beauty salon mostly just a lot of guys [TS]

00:26:23   out front smoking coach across-the-board [TS]

00:26:25   do it right and so yeah totally [TS]

00:26:28   he had a sublet their he was they had a [TS]

00:26:30   fake name and that's where the Silk Road [TS]

00:26:32   guy live for a while [TS]

00:26:34   what a crazy if you watch that movie [TS]

00:26:36   it's crazy [TS]

00:26:37   no because you know after my after my [TS]

00:26:39   several years on 4chan yeah probably [TS]

00:26:42   I i purposely ejected myself from the [TS]

00:26:50   seedy underbelly of the internet and [TS]

00:26:53   never to return it was you know there [TS]

00:26:57   was a there was a while there I was like [TS]

00:26:58   listen I am NOT going to go gently into [TS]

00:27:01   this goodnight i'm gonna rage rage [TS]

00:27:03   against the dying of the light [TS]

00:27:04   Who I am going to know about all of the [TS]

00:27:09   dark corners as your peers your pecans [TS]

00:27:12   and research right well be you know I [TS]

00:27:16   was not well just put your nose [TS]

00:27:20   no no that you're putting your nose into [TS]

00:27:22   a lot of dark corners because up until [TS]

00:27:24   the up until the internet i try i tried [TS]

00:27:29   as a young person to know all of the [TS]

00:27:33   dark corners of life that I could [TS]

00:27:35   stomach firsthand right i went into the [TS]

00:27:40   actual door of places that the that [TS]

00:27:45   repelled me because I didn't want to be [TS]

00:27:48   somebody that didn't know uh the limits [TS]

00:27:52   of at first I thought the limits of [TS]

00:27:54   human experience and then I realized I [TS]

00:27:56   was never I was not capable of exploring [TS]

00:27:59   the limits of human experience but I was [TS]

00:28:02   capable likes exploring the limits of my [TS]

00:28:04   own my own limits as far as like a where [TS]

00:28:09   I became not just uncomfortable but [TS]

00:28:12   where I became where I felt like under [TS]

00:28:16   siege [TS]

00:28:17   you know i would i would go do i would [TS]

00:28:19   subject myself you're you're pushing [TS]

00:28:20   your own limits as well as discovering [TS]

00:28:23   the how far other people got ya right [TS]

00:28:26   and so like a good i participate in [TS]

00:28:29   rough trade no good eyewitness rough [TS]

00:28:33   trade yeah and-and-and that was part of [TS]

00:28:38   how I was trying to make myself so when [TS]

00:28:40   it went a lot of that went to the [TS]

00:28:42   internet I was like well i have to you [TS]

00:28:45   know I can't let it go [TS]

00:28:47   I can't let there be worlds that I don't [TS]

00:28:50   know about [TS]

00:28:51   yeah i mean there are certainly corners [TS]

00:28:52   of the world i prefer not to know about [TS]

00:28:54   but there can't be world's I don't have [TS]

00:28:56   any knowledge of and so yeah when I went [TS]

00:28:59   in there like who [TS]

00:29:01   who's in here you know slam open [TS]

00:29:05   hello lose it and then I was like oh [TS]

00:29:07   shit yeah and uh and then I was then I [TS]

00:29:11   was quiet and sitting on a hard stool in [TS]

00:29:15   what I hoped wasn't unnoticeable corner [TS]

00:29:17   of a place where i was like a lot of [TS]

00:29:21   this a large percentage of this is fake [TS]

00:29:23   but something or fake or heavily [TS]

00:29:28   exaggerated yeah it's like anything on [TS]

00:29:30   the internet like it doesn't cost [TS]

00:29:32   anything for a sixteen-year-old to dummy [TS]

00:29:37   up a a world and you just and you just [TS]

00:29:41   see that it doesn't it doesn't hold [TS]

00:29:43   water and I'm not somebody that can can [TS]

00:29:47   say like oh that's been shipped or [TS]

00:29:49   whatever but enough of it is enough of [TS]

00:29:55   what i saw was just like you know [TS]

00:29:58   indisputably true [TS]

00:30:01   and-and-and-and I knew about it you know [TS]

00:30:04   I knew about it in my in my mind's eye I [TS]

00:30:08   had read accounts but on the on the [TS]

00:30:13   internet you see can see it you can pay [TS]

00:30:15   for it you know and I was like a right [TS]

00:30:19   so it is ultimately like kind of [TS]

00:30:22   limitless what humans can do and do do [TS]

00:30:27   I didn't I guess I needed that confirmed [TS]

00:30:31   yeah because you don't you don't think [TS]

00:30:34   about it and they're always there were [TS]

00:30:35   always doors that I didn't go [TS]

00:30:37   you know you go into the door and [TS]

00:30:39   there's a bunch of guys sitting around [TS]

00:30:40   you go through the second door and [TS]

00:30:42   there's fewer guys in there then they [TS]

00:30:43   make you uncomfortable and then there's [TS]

00:30:44   a third door and the question in [TS]

00:30:46   everybody's eyes is like you're going to [TS]

00:30:47   go through the third door and most of [TS]

00:30:49   the time you say no as a matter of fact [TS]

00:30:51   thank you [TS]

00:30:52   yeah this second door was enough for me [TS]

00:30:54   makes me feel weird already I'm out of [TS]

00:30:56   here [TS]

00:30:57   but but so yeah silkroad just seemed [TS]

00:31:01   like a bunch of people by an ecstasy on [TS]

00:31:03   the internet but some of that some of [TS]

00:31:06   that [TS]

00:31:07   yes yeah i mean there are there are [TS]

00:31:09   there are variety of well you know I [TS]

00:31:12   don't get too deep into it but I mean [TS]

00:31:13   there's nothing there's a lot of a lot [TS]

00:31:15   of good valid and noble even noble [TS]

00:31:20   reasons for wanting to say hey look [TS]

00:31:22   not everybody needs to know what I'm [TS]

00:31:24   doing all the time then I I think of all [TS]

00:31:26   the edgy stuff going on in the world [TS]

00:31:29   today i think that's pretty excusable to [TS]

00:31:31   say that they hate you know what the [TS]

00:31:33   only way that something like that [TS]

00:31:35   obfuscation through tor works is if you [TS]

00:31:37   use it for everything if you only if you [TS]

00:31:39   have if you have a house if you have a [TS]

00:31:41   room in your house where you go only to [TS]

00:31:43   masturbate then that's going to get [TS]

00:31:44   known as the masturbation room like [TS]

00:31:46   that's just gonna happen but if you if [TS]

00:31:49   you have multiple offers her laptop [TS]

00:31:51   it's called a studio with almost no it's [TS]

00:31:56   not it's a private studio and I have a [TS]

00:31:59   fresh blanket plums that's my studio [TS]

00:32:01   look just nobody goes into my studio [TS]

00:32:03   that's where i have all my figure [TS]

00:32:06   figurines action figurines arranged [TS]

00:32:10   Michelle action figurines like it like [TS]

00:32:14   camels or lladros of devil [TS]

00:32:16   ya sure ya anyway I don't know I i feel [TS]

00:32:20   like i have i'm such an old man in this [TS]

00:32:22   sense where I i can't help but believe [TS]

00:32:24   that anything that you expose yourself [TS]

00:32:26   to repeatedly on purpose will eventually [TS]

00:32:28   have some kind of an affect on you not [TS]

00:32:30   you know borough and video games do not [TS]

00:32:32   caused by I'm not even saying that I'm [TS]

00:32:35   saying that like you know you can just [TS]

00:32:36   look no further than anybody who's [TS]

00:32:38   and like you know look at the career [TS]

00:32:40   longevity of people who do stuff like [TS]

00:32:42   you know child protective services or [TS]

00:32:45   homicide or or anything like that just [TS]

00:32:48   what you have to have you been doing [TS]

00:32:51   homicide for 20-plus years now inhabit [TS]

00:32:54   your belt sir [TS]

00:32:55   oh I speak coconuts got that they never [TS]

00:32:58   get tired now [TS]

00:33:00   now they are they're made of tougher [TS]

00:33:02   stuff but you know and i think this even [TS]

00:33:06   as like and I i have obviously i don't [TS]

00:33:09   know exactly what you're talking about [TS]

00:33:10   but i can guess it's a lot of probably [TS]

00:33:12   about human suffering and grossest and I [TS]

00:33:15   mean I think we've all been interested [TS]

00:33:16   in things whether even if it's just [TS]

00:33:17   something like research magazine [TS]

00:33:19   we're like are you know anymore those [TS]

00:33:21   those trade paperbacks of research we [TS]

00:33:22   were like wow it's amazing this guy [TS]

00:33:25   wants to hang from hooks that's got to [TS]

00:33:27   be one of the most out-there things I've [TS]

00:33:28   ever seen but like if you expose [TS]

00:33:30   yourself to let you know what is [TS]

00:33:33   something like I just I just think i got [TS]

00:33:36   i try to be careful about what I expose [TS]

00:33:38   myself to too often because it will have [TS]

00:33:40   an impact even if that impact is now i'm [TS]

00:33:43   a nerd toward you know how base people [TS]

00:33:46   can be and I started imagining [TS]

00:33:47   everybody's like that which they're not [TS]

00:33:49   no no I mean that the horrible stuff is [TS]

00:33:53   all the stuff words that you know if the [TS]

00:33:55   research stuff was all very [TS]

00:33:57   mind-expanding at the time the the the [TS]

00:34:00   idea that somebody would want to hang [TS]

00:34:02   from their nipples [TS]

00:34:07   it wasn't as Bob what's-his-name the [TS]

00:34:09   super masochist you remember him [TS]

00:34:11   sure well what's his name but he was [TS]

00:34:13   everywhere he was like the patron saint [TS]

00:34:14   of research right yeah that was that was [TS]

00:34:17   that was those were fun times in [TS]

00:34:18   interesting times but what can I because [TS]

00:34:21   when sexual it was like I choose I [TS]

00:34:23   choose to put a hula hoop in my nipple [TS]

00:34:25   like the thing I do [TS]

00:34:27   yeah the internet gives you access to [TS]

00:34:28   all those people whose whose pleasure is [TS]

00:34:31   to cause suffering to other people who [TS]

00:34:34   aren't voluntary volunteering and that [TS]

00:34:38   some that's the stuff we're just like oh [TS]

00:34:40   there's no limit to that like the [TS]

00:34:43   depravity we all there's that there's [TS]

00:34:46   this crazy thing in our in our culture [TS]

00:34:50   and I'm [TS]

00:34:51   I suffer from it too which is that [TS]

00:34:53   morbid fascination with serial killers [TS]

00:34:55   and you know and serial killers become a [TS]

00:35:00   kind of proxy for all of the worst of us [TS]

00:35:04   and that you know and it it's amazing [TS]

00:35:07   that hundreds of thousands of people [TS]

00:35:10   have read detailed accounts of what Ted [TS]

00:35:14   Bundy did right I'm like I don't know [TS]

00:35:18   millions of people maybe half and and [TS]

00:35:23   even what Gary Ridgway did like read [TS]

00:35:27   those accounts and mold them over and [TS]

00:35:31   turn them over in their minds and said [TS]

00:35:35   like wow like awful but also like not so [TS]

00:35:43   awful that I didn't buy and read this [TS]

00:35:47   book about it or were like so awful in [TS]

00:35:50   fact that i bought and read this book [TS]

00:35:53   about it so it's a little bit i have to [TS]

00:35:55   be honest is a little bit pornographic [TS]

00:35:56   cuz i've found myself drawn to that it [TS]

00:35:58   too and it's why I sometimes ask myself [TS]

00:36:00   like like you know whether it's that [TS]

00:36:03   horrible picture of the little boy [TS]

00:36:04   drowned on the beach that we have all [TS]

00:36:06   recently seen or whether it's a [TS]

00:36:08   documentary about the Holocaust I i do [TS]

00:36:10   try to catch myself and go like is this [TS]

00:36:12   how much of this is empathetic and how [TS]

00:36:14   much of this educational how much of [TS]

00:36:16   this is just purely sensationalistic and [TS]

00:36:19   verging on pornography [TS]

00:36:20   well and that's that's what's so crazy [TS]

00:36:22   because I mean we've talked about the [TS]

00:36:24   Nazis a lot and the Holocaust alot but [TS]

00:36:28   but you know the amount of time I've [TS]

00:36:30   spent imagining what it was like it to [TS]

00:36:36   that what it was like from the [TS]

00:36:38   standpoint of almost everybody at [TS]

00:36:41   Auschwitz like the people who are [TS]

00:36:44   running it [TS]

00:36:45   the people who were you going into the [TS]

00:36:49   showers the people who were clearing out [TS]

00:36:51   the shower right and and all by way of [TS]

00:36:56   in some ways understanding what what we [TS]

00:37:01   are [TS]

00:37:03   and it ended in forms this worldview [TS]

00:37:06   that I have that like likes civil and [TS]

00:37:10   not just civilization but but a good and [TS]

00:37:14   evil rights and and rules you know [TS]

00:37:21   they're all systems that we are that we [TS]

00:37:24   impose upon ourselves and more or less [TS]

00:37:26   are living according to voluntarily and [TS]

00:37:29   and they you know like don't don't [TS]

00:37:32   believe that the dark side is kept at [TS]

00:37:34   bay by rules the dark side is framed by [TS]

00:37:38   rule [TS]

00:37:39   yeah without rules he couldn't make the [TS]

00:37:41   darkside scalable but but you know but [TS]

00:37:43   what-what 4chan and what the tour and [TS]

00:37:46   what the what what the Deep Web showed [TS]

00:37:51   me was that like the man out of the [TS]

00:37:55   bonala t of it but also that isn't even [TS]

00:37:58   descriptive like Bundy was not unusual [TS]

00:38:06   even and you know and there's [TS]

00:38:11   just--there's just suffering on on top [TS]

00:38:14   of suffering in this world suffering [TS]

00:38:17   that like suffering that we are imposing [TS]

00:38:20   on people suffering in the form of you [TS]

00:38:23   think the just millions and millions of [TS]

00:38:26   people living in in conditions that are [TS]

00:38:30   are not unimaginable they're very [TS]

00:38:33   imaginable their witnesses all and yet [TS]

00:38:38   somehow we compartmentalize those things [TS]

00:38:40   such that we are able to be so mad about [TS]

00:38:45   Apple customer service or so mad about [TS]

00:38:51   the airline's you know and and you know [TS]

00:38:57   and can you can you can be sitting on an [TS]

00:38:59   airline so mad about your treatments and [TS]

00:39:05   open a book where the book is detailing [TS]

00:39:08   scenarios where bodies are piled upon [TS]

00:39:11   bodies and you're just like Oh [TS]

00:39:16   my goodness grotesque you know that was [TS]

00:39:19   60 years ago or or that's happening [TS]

00:39:25   right now but in Burma or that's [TS]

00:39:27   happening right now but in basements all [TS]

00:39:30   across Russia or something but Mike but [TS]

00:39:33   I excuse me miss miss my I need more ice [TS]

00:39:37   in my in my free soda here and I'd end [TS]

00:39:44   it just it's something that I can't ever [TS]

00:39:46   I can't ever get a purchase on reality i [TS]

00:39:53   guess there is no reality and there's [TS]

00:39:57   only my reality my present reality and [TS]

00:40:01   you know and maybe that's why i'm up at [TS]

00:40:04   four thirty in the morning stacking [TS]

00:40:05   angels on the head of a pin yep could be [TS]

00:40:08   part of it [TS]

00:40:09   I don't know I you know I also wonder [TS]

00:40:11   sometimes how much of it is a form of [TS]

00:40:13   chasing the dragon which you described [TS]

00:40:16   as that feeling of especially with [TS]

00:40:17   heroine of the first the first how you [TS]

00:40:19   get from that you'll never really [TS]

00:40:21   replicate without increasing the amount [TS]

00:40:23   but still don't really be the same and [TS]

00:40:25   you suck you can't really you can't [TS]

00:40:26   really replicate that and I wonder if [TS]

00:40:28   there's just what part of it is that you [TS]

00:40:31   become one become slightly addicted to [TS]

00:40:33   something that makes you seem to feel [TS]

00:40:35   more strongly than you've ever felt [TS]

00:40:36   before that you know and I'm not putting [TS]

00:40:39   this in really simple terms because I [TS]

00:40:41   think there is something to be said for [TS]

00:40:42   educating yourself about all kinds of [TS]

00:40:43   stuff in the world that's not savory [TS]

00:40:45   just knowing about it doesn't mean you [TS]

00:40:46   agree with it but there is stuff that [TS]

00:40:47   everybody needs to know about even stuff [TS]

00:40:49   that's not particularly nice now do you [TS]

00:40:52   need to spend five hours a night on that [TS]

00:40:53   I don't know and it depends on what [TS]

00:40:56   we're talking about i guess but i also [TS]

00:40:58   think part of it just might be that I [TS]

00:41:00   don't know that this might sound [TS]

00:41:01   old-fashioned but I think that the more [TS]

00:41:03   what you're generally calling rough [TS]

00:41:05   trade them the more kind of shocking [TS]

00:41:07   stuff that you expose yourself to the [TS]

00:41:09   more you want to see and that doesn't [TS]

00:41:11   just have to be Bob Flanagan super [TS]

00:41:13   masochist that could also be like what [TS]

00:41:15   how much crazier is Kanye West gonna get [TS]

00:41:18   this guy's and not and i have an opinion [TS]

00:41:20   about it and it seems i think all that [TS]

00:41:23   serves a kind of addiction kind of [TS]

00:41:26   addictive personality people have it [TS]

00:41:28   just it may find more or less objection [TS]

00:41:30   mol outcomes but i think there's there's [TS]

00:41:33   something to a lot of people we're [TS]

00:41:35   always looking for that next thing [TS]

00:41:36   that's not gonna make them feel this [TS]

00:41:38   charge get this dopamine hit and it [TS]

00:41:41   becomes very difficult to pull yourself [TS]

00:41:43   away from that and you find yourself [TS]

00:41:44   seeking something that makes makes you [TS]

00:41:46   feel stronger and stronger until it can [TS]

00:41:48   become consuming me is that is that is [TS]

00:41:51   that does that sound like a crazy [TS]

00:41:52   anti-pornography kind of stance [TS]

00:41:54   I don't mean it that way but many sounds [TS]

00:41:56   like sounds like what people would say [TS]

00:41:58   about pornography i think it's i think [TS]

00:42:00   it's important for all of us to [TS]

00:42:02   recognize when we are in an unhealthy [TS]

00:42:05   relationship with Amy stay any kind of [TS]

00:42:08   external source of stimulation yeah any [TS]

00:42:12   stimulus right if you are essentially [TS]

00:42:14   anything outside of us we're like you [TS]

00:42:15   like the reason you don't take fucking [TS]

00:42:17   cold pills because you don't want that [TS]

00:42:18   right i mean any time where the whatever [TS]

00:42:21   dragon were chasing there's something [TS]

00:42:23   out there that we know is potentially [TS]

00:42:26   capable of giving us a certain kind of [TS]

00:42:29   surprisingly strong stimulation [TS]

00:42:31   yeah it's me and it ends up being any [TS]

00:42:33   time you've been in the hospital where [TS]

00:42:35   you had a morphine drip and you and you [TS]

00:42:38   see that you know you've got a button [TS]

00:42:40   you can push the button and give [TS]

00:42:42   yourself morphine when you're in pain [TS]

00:42:43   but the nurses have some governor on it [TS]

00:42:47   is not just unlimited but there's a big [TS]

00:42:54   difference between the people that sit [TS]

00:42:56   and wait until they have kind of one [TS]

00:42:59   what they can feel the pain is becoming [TS]

00:43:01   unendurable and then they push the [TS]

00:43:03   button versus the people that are just [TS]

00:43:04   like waiting for the button to reup you [TS]

00:43:07   know they're pushing it all the time and [TS]

00:43:09   that way for the rehab you know and that [TS]

00:43:12   is in our culture the whole game [TS]

00:43:19   I mean everybody out there is waiting [TS]

00:43:22   for us to you know everybody out there [TS]

00:43:25   is trying to provide us another [TS]

00:43:26   opportunity to reup re-up with Star Wars [TS]

00:43:30   reup with you the next episode of the [TS]

00:43:34   Americans reup with a cool new you know [TS]

00:43:38   the cool new shoes that you deserve [TS]

00:43:41   because you're [TS]

00:43:42   because you work hard the you know the [TS]

00:43:46   reup that the buying and the and the [TS]

00:43:50   pleasing yourself and the pleasuring [TS]

00:43:52   yourself and and to resist it when it [TS]

00:43:56   comes from all corners because your [TS]

00:44:00   Minister on sunday is also like [TS]

00:44:03   providing a version of it and your [TS]

00:44:08   parents are providing you versions of it [TS]

00:44:11   and at its the we have turned it into [TS]

00:44:15   with fetishized consumption in all walks [TS]

00:44:21   of life so that just you know to say [TS]

00:44:23   I've had enough pie I've had a you know [TS]

00:44:26   No thank you I don't need seconds is not [TS]

00:44:32   just like to potentially offend the host [TS]

00:44:35   but to be a radical like a us like to be [TS]

00:44:42   seditious almost to say no thank you [TS]

00:44:45   know I do not want to die i cannot i [TS]

00:44:50   cannot join in the excitement about the [TS]

00:44:53   new Star Wars not because I'm not kind [TS]

00:44:58   of excited about the new Star Wars but [TS]

00:45:00   because there are too many opportunities [TS]

00:45:02   for it to their you know too many [TS]

00:45:06   opportunities for that kind of [TS]

00:45:07   stimulation to to own me [TS]

00:45:11   yeah yeah and because you're infj right [TS]

00:45:14   yeah [TS]

00:45:16   again with the pie um again with the [TS]

00:45:19   pyrite don't know but like that was it i [TS]

00:45:21   was using pi in a different way and that [TS]

00:45:23   y'know I heard the word heart behind and [TS]

00:45:26   I was like oh sure pie but wait it's a [TS]

00:45:28   different time a different thing I i get [TS]

00:45:32   that with video games that's me and [TS]

00:45:33   video games were like I i have come to [TS]

00:45:36   realize the video games can be very [TS]

00:45:37   special and awesome but I i don't i [TS]

00:45:40   don't mean this in disparaging way but I [TS]

00:45:42   don't want that in my life because for [TS]

00:45:43   me to get to the level where i could [TS]

00:45:45   really enjoy the way my friends enjoy it [TS]

00:45:46   would take so many hours and days and [TS]

00:45:49   weeks which i might really enjoy but all [TS]

00:45:51   I can think about is what I won't be [TS]

00:45:53   doing when I be doing that and it's an [TS]

00:45:55   attractive says his hand [TS]

00:45:56   in law and attractive nuisance like I [TS]

00:45:57   have that in the house i'm going to feel [TS]

00:45:59   bad about the fact that I spade $500 for [TS]

00:46:02   this game box and don't use it or I'm [TS]

00:46:03   gonna feel terrible about the amount of [TS]

00:46:05   time i spend my five-hundred-dollar [TS]

00:46:06   gamebox neither of those four where I am [TS]

00:46:08   mentally right now are emotionally right [TS]

00:46:10   now is going to make me feel good about [TS]

00:46:11   that right but mhm but there's the other [TS]

00:46:15   like the danger i think in seeing [TS]

00:46:19   because I'm not somebody that sees [TS]

00:46:21   tyranny it as a as a conspiratorial you [TS]

00:46:27   know like a like I'm not worried about [TS]

00:46:28   outside forces with a gun to my head [TS]

00:46:34   forcing me to kneel and eat the gruel [TS]

00:46:37   I don't worry about being colonized know [TS]

00:46:40   as much as I'm worried about that [TS]

00:46:43   process of of voluntary submission who [TS]

00:46:47   and all of the all the small government [TS]

00:46:51   libertarians up in montana who are [TS]

00:46:54   worried about obama's jackbooted thugs [TS]

00:46:57   are strange to me because they are all [TS]

00:47:01   like greedily gulping at the teat of [TS]

00:47:06   whoever the proof of the service [TS]

00:47:08   providers of their own mythology and [TS]

00:47:11   products and they are buying into and [TS]

00:47:15   and buying with money all of the [TS]

00:47:18   accoutrements of their cult thinking [TS]

00:47:23   with note with no self-awareness right [TS]

00:47:26   there and and that stuff is the real [TS]

00:47:29   that that's where your mind is really [TS]

00:47:32   colonized where you know they are they [TS]

00:47:35   are the rats tapping on the red button [TS]

00:47:37   that's that that's satisfying their urge [TS]

00:47:41   to feel persecuted but so I'm not [TS]

00:47:47   worried about about the about the ATF [TS]

00:47:49   coming through the door [TS]

00:47:51   I'm worried about the heed to what [TS]

00:47:56   degree I am self-medicating by my [TS]

00:48:02   consumption of [TS]

00:48:04   and.and I'm not serial killer porn isn't [TS]

00:48:08   what I'm worried about [TS]

00:48:10   and I Anna eventually i'm not sure [TS]

00:48:12   ultimately I'm not sure what I am [TS]

00:48:14   worried about because I guard myself so [TS]

00:48:17   carefully against ever becoming a like a [TS]

00:48:27   consumer but and so but but but that [TS]

00:48:33   becomes a a strange kind of addiction [TS]

00:48:38   the the addiction of like denial and [TS]

00:48:41   discomfort and like no I will not I will [TS]

00:48:45   not watch this again even though I want [TS]

00:48:48   to because i don't want to become a [TS]

00:48:50   prisoner to it and and so what ends up [TS]

00:48:56   happening is I remember I used to get [TS]

00:48:58   into arguments at the University of [TS]

00:48:59   Washington all the time where I was or [TS]

00:49:01   what I got back from long long stays in [TS]

00:49:04   Germany and tried to convince people [TS]

00:49:06   that there is nothing in contemporary [TS]

00:49:08   Germany that would that would indicate [TS]

00:49:12   the Holocaust there's nothing in [TS]

00:49:15   contemporary Germany that would give you [TS]

00:49:17   special insight into what happened there [TS]

00:49:24   70 years ago [TS]

00:49:25   you cannot detect it you can't detect it [TS]

00:49:29   in Germans you cannot detect it in the [TS]

00:49:31   ground is we're talking about like how [TS]

00:49:33   swastikas have been chipped off the [TS]

00:49:35   bridges and stuff [TS]

00:49:36   yeah but the largest have been chipped [TS]

00:49:38   off of the bridges of their minds to [TS]

00:49:40   like whatever it was whatever it was [TS]

00:49:44   that was in the the Germans is not [TS]

00:49:48   visible in in being friends with Germans [TS]

00:49:53   in interacting with Germans it's not you [TS]

00:49:55   don't you don't go to Germany and say oh [TS]

00:49:57   boy i see it's just they're just they're [TS]

00:50:00   just playing nice right now but if the [TS]

00:50:03   opportunity arises they're all going to [TS]

00:50:05   become monsters again like that is not [TS]

00:50:07   the case they are as committed to [TS]

00:50:10   liberal democracy there as anyone in the [TS]

00:50:13   world and [TS]

00:50:15   are just as humane as the most like [TS]

00:50:22   they're just as committed and just as [TS]

00:50:26   there's nothing in their character that [TS]

00:50:32   suggests it and so what that says to me [TS]

00:50:36   is that it is in all of our character [TS]

00:50:39   all the time they are not just [TS]

00:50:42   pretending to be liberal democrats there [TS]

00:50:44   they are deeply Liberal Democrats and so [TS]

00:50:51   that's not the evidence you know and the [TS]

00:50:55   fact that it didn't happen in Sweden [TS]

00:50:58   doesn't make the Swedes superior to the [TS]

00:51:01   Germans morally or or otherwise and so [TS]

00:51:05   it's that that impulse to slaughter and [TS]

00:51:12   that impulse to be rid of impurity and [TS]

00:51:16   the impulse to systematize not just [TS]

00:51:21   murder but to systematize in humanity is [TS]

00:51:27   in us all not even really dormant but [TS]

00:51:31   just being exercised in different ways [TS]

00:51:33   you know it's being it's being satisfied [TS]

00:51:35   in different ways and so it's all of our [TS]

00:51:39   responsibility to recognize it in [TS]

00:51:41   ourselves in those small ways and say [TS]

00:51:43   listen I am the Holocaust is in me I [TS]

00:51:46   could commit this i am not one of the [TS]

00:51:50   ones who would have stood stood up and [TS]

00:51:54   said no I am absolutely one of the ones [TS]

00:51:58   who would have drawn the blinds and said [TS]

00:52:01   oh I'm not sure what the smell is that's [TS]

00:52:04   coming from the forest right you know [TS]

00:52:07   and and that acknowledgement and the [TS]

00:52:12   recognition that then it you know it [TS]

00:52:14   always starts you know that the [TS]

00:52:17   arguments that we have about like a [TS]

00:52:19   violent movies don't cause violence and [TS]

00:52:21   the violent video games don't Colonel [TS]

00:52:22   cause violence and it's such a it's such [TS]

00:52:25   a thing on the internet that if you're [TS]

00:52:27   on the wrong side of it you're [TS]

00:52:28   like you're some PMRC anti-pornography [TS]

00:52:34   guess it's kind of a scold scold like [TS]

00:52:36   you're saying and and and in fact like [TS]

00:52:39   those things [TS]

00:52:41   no they do not cause violence they are [TS]

00:52:43   outlets for this concordance tremendous [TS]

00:52:47   violence that since all and that's the [TS]

00:52:50   thing we should always be looking at and [TS]

00:52:52   thinking about and where because so mean [TS]

00:52:57   so many people in my experience refused [TS]

00:53:01   to acknowledge the violence that's in [TS]

00:53:03   them at all and and so when violence [TS]

00:53:09   arrives on the scene even in the form of [TS]

00:53:12   like confrontation about something and [TS]

00:53:15   in a starbucks line there's all this [TS]

00:53:18   like all everyone so appalled because [TS]

00:53:23   we're all so basically civilized because [TS]

00:53:25   we're civilized now and yet any amount [TS]

00:53:28   of violence any raised voices or angry [TS]

00:53:30   looks are this like terrible assault and [TS]

00:53:34   and we're um and we should be above it [TS]

00:53:38   but in fact like we each of us and all [TS]

00:53:43   of us are complicit in murder every day [TS]

00:53:46   that's that's why didn't interrupt you [TS]

00:53:48   but this is what keeps everything [TS]

00:53:49   everything you're saying it's me [TS]

00:53:50   thinking about something that feels like [TS]

00:53:52   an elephant in the room you're [TS]

00:53:53   describing a germany where like you [TS]

00:53:55   think about most Americans and most [TS]

00:53:57   American lot of Americans definitely i [TS]

00:53:58   was growing up with memories of World [TS]

00:54:00   War two the depending on how you measure [TS]

00:54:03   it [TS]

00:54:04   what would that be the you know sixteen [TS]

00:54:08   to twenty some years that the Nazis had [TS]

00:54:13   some kind of power and and work we were [TS]

00:54:16   just they were not just dictating that [TS]

00:54:17   they had actually you know they had the [TS]

00:54:20   support of Industry and people but but [TS]

00:54:22   that was what was that was maybe maybe [TS]

00:54:24   20 years and we still we still think of [TS]

00:54:27   yet really 15 16 years and now we still [TS]

00:54:30   think of like Oh Germany they were the [TS]

00:54:31   Nazis but what you're describing is a [TS]

00:54:33   country where it is not simply a matter [TS]

00:54:35   of having trying trying to obliterate [TS]

00:54:37   the past but trying to like actively [TS]

00:54:38   evolved to be different people while at [TS]

00:54:41   the same time [TS]

00:54:42   you know I'll be that guy we give [TS]

00:54:44   ourselves a pass for 400 years of [TS]

00:54:46   slavery and probably two or three [TS]

00:54:49   hundred years of slaughtering natives [TS]

00:54:51   and all kinds of other stuff we're like [TS]

00:54:54   we give ourselves a pass for that and we [TS]

00:54:55   look old shoes we look at all these [TS]

00:54:57   places where people are treated really [TS]

00:54:58   badly but we don't ever but it isn't as [TS]

00:55:01   that we stopped the paws with that [TS]

00:55:02   monster is still in us we know that [TS]

00:55:04   monster still in Germany because they [TS]

00:55:05   were the bad guys in World War two but [TS]

00:55:07   while it may have happened [TS]

00:55:10   the the worst parts of that kind of [TS]

00:55:11   racism and colonialism may have happened [TS]

00:55:13   over a hundred fifty years ago in our [TS]

00:55:15   case we were pretty good at it and [TS]

00:55:18   institutionalized it way beyond what the [TS]

00:55:20   church did we were able to make entire [TS]

00:55:22   industries out of having slaves but it [TS]

00:55:25   was a business we talked about it there [TS]

00:55:27   was no there was no attempt to erase the [TS]

00:55:30   record of that or burn the books that [TS]

00:55:32   showed who'd been sold to whom [TS]

00:55:33   whose child had been sent to another [TS]

00:55:35   state with no attempt to cover that up [TS]

00:55:37   because it was evolving so slowly and [TS]

00:55:39   now today we look at that old that's [TS]

00:55:40   ancient history but I guess what I'm [TS]

00:55:42   trying to ask partly his first following [TS]

00:55:44   us two parts i mean isn't fair to say [TS]

00:55:45   we've also got that monster and then in [TS]

00:55:47   second of all do you think we have made [TS]

00:55:50   the same effort as a modern German would [TS]

00:55:52   try and actually evolved past either hit [TS]

00:55:55   your historical monster because it was [TS]

00:55:58   like we aren't I the I think that I [TS]

00:56:01   think the scale of time it's so it's so [TS]

00:56:06   funny that human life is what ninety [TS]

00:56:11   years and in the course of 90 years like [TS]

00:56:16   it's the it's the totality of reality [TS]

00:56:21   right wheel we don't really know that [TS]

00:56:25   anything that happened before us [TS]

00:56:26   actually happened right there are some [TS]

00:56:28   buildings standing around that you [TS]

00:56:30   you presume were built before you were [TS]

00:56:32   born but it all seems a little unreal [TS]

00:56:34   that anything happened before you never [TS]

00:56:37   been I've never been in Nicaragua but i [TS]

00:56:39   assume it's real [TS]

00:56:40   however I've read a lot about it I've [TS]

00:56:41   never been there either but i assume [TS]

00:56:43   it's real I've seen pictures and books [TS]

00:56:44   but you know 90 years is that that's the [TS]

00:56:48   whole of our real first hand experience [TS]

00:56:52   and so it seemed everything seemed so [TS]

00:56:54   important [TS]

00:56:55   was and we are so um we're so concerned [TS]

00:57:00   with with a year and five years and 15 [TS]

00:57:08   years but really that you know like [TS]

00:57:10   almost almost nothing that happens in 15 [TS]

00:57:18   years really you know that really [TS]

00:57:21   matters or or yet it it's sort of a [TS]

00:57:25   great man theory of history right that [TS]

00:57:27   that one person can have this tremendous [TS]

00:57:29   effect but as the more you zoom out the [TS]

00:57:31   more you realize it's just waves of of [TS]

00:57:37   events and there it and it's kind of a [TS]

00:57:41   myth that that that even Hitler really [TS]

00:57:47   had that much of an effect but if you if [TS]

00:57:50   you zoom out and look at it on it on it [TS]

00:57:51   certainly on a thousand years timeline [TS]

00:57:54   but up you know on a 10,000 year [TS]

00:57:56   timeline like he just disappears and and [TS]

00:58:02   I think about this a lot of it and it [TS]

00:58:05   gets me in in trouble because like you [TS]

00:58:10   read the thing [TS]

00:58:11   not very long ago where that the current [TS]

00:58:13   thinking is that the trauma of the [TS]

00:58:17   Holocaust actually is encoded [TS]

00:58:19   genetically all right in in the [TS]

00:58:21   survivors in the next generation he said [TS]

00:58:23   if that's true it basically it changes a [TS]

00:58:25   lot of what we know about history [TS]

00:58:26   it changes it absolutely change history [TS]

00:58:29   but at a certain point like it it in the [TS]

00:58:32   immediate scale it changes it because it [TS]

00:58:34   means like oh right the african-american [TS]

00:58:36   population of the united states has a [TS]

00:58:39   genetic memory of 400 years of slavery [TS]

00:58:45   like the Holocaust happened not in 15 [TS]

00:58:48   years the Holocaust largely happened in [TS]

00:58:50   two years [TS]

00:58:52   right right and if that was like they [TS]

00:58:54   had they had that 18 really strong [TS]

00:58:56   months but it did it was not we you [TS]

00:58:58   cannot just overlay that with the war i [TS]

00:59:00   mean it it was really on i'm certainly [TS]

00:59:03   how absolutely trying to minimize it but [TS]

00:59:04   it's the the really when the Holocaust [TS]

00:59:07   or the [TS]

00:59:08   final solution i should say really got [TS]

00:59:10   going I mean it wasn't more than three [TS]

00:59:12   years really right it's not in 42 if [TS]

00:59:17   that left a genetic imprint on this on [TS]

00:59:21   surviving generations then slavery [TS]

00:59:24   I mean was reinforced and reinforced [TS]

00:59:29   through generation and generation and [TS]

00:59:30   generation and if that's true then you [TS]

00:59:34   know then there is something that then [TS]

00:59:36   there's a genetic record that has been [TS]

00:59:39   that you know that then starts to be [TS]

00:59:43   part of natural selection right people [TS]

00:59:45   are passing that down and passing the [TS]

00:59:47   reinforcement of it down in generations [TS]

00:59:50   but if that is true you don't have to [TS]

00:59:52   zoom out very far to say well that is [TS]

00:59:55   true of every single person on earth [TS]

00:59:57   like [TS]

00:59:57   like [TS]

01:00:00   the the just in the historical record [TS]

01:00:04   you can go back and find like well the [TS]

01:00:08   Scots were brutalized by the English be [TS]

01:00:14   you know the the thai people are only in [TS]

01:00:19   Thailand because they were chased out of [TS]

01:00:21   China 2,000 years ago [TS]

01:00:25   china's got chinese got some pretty bad [TS]

01:00:27   treatment from the Japanese right the [TS]

01:00:28   right and so and so and the you know the [TS]

01:00:31   the Mongol hordes that swept through [TS]

01:00:34   Eastern Europe over and over and over [TS]

01:00:37   again [TS]

01:00:39   um you know just wiping out cultures [TS]

01:00:46   after cultures and so then you look at [TS]

01:00:49   every single human group and you find in [TS]

01:00:54   their history like incredible trauma at [TS]

01:00:59   incredible trauma inflicted on them as a [TS]

01:01:01   group not just individual people and [TS]

01:01:04   then when when you factor in that every [TS]

01:01:07   single family has like up probably [TS]

01:01:12   unmeasurable trauma in their past [TS]

01:01:15   yeah i mean just I mean just think about [TS]

01:01:16   even you know so so we we try to measure [TS]

01:01:20   these kinds of tragedies by the number [TS]

01:01:23   of people who died and not you can't [TS]

01:01:26   even really how do you begin to take [TS]

01:01:27   into account the secondary effects of [TS]

01:01:29   like all the people you knew who were [TS]

01:01:31   affected by it or people who let's just [TS]

01:01:33   be honest the people who were killed as [TS]

01:01:35   part of that but then let's say you know [TS]

01:01:37   just having just the PTSD of having [TS]

01:01:40   lived through that at all even if you [TS]

01:01:43   came out of it with most of your stuff [TS]

01:01:44   in your family alive he's still even [TS]

01:01:46   imagine the PTSD of getting through that [TS]

01:01:48   experience quote-unquote unscathed [TS]

01:01:51   you're not unscathed like you'll be [TS]

01:01:52   scarred forever by that experience for [TS]

01:01:54   sure and and and I mean imagine [TS]

01:01:57   surviving a famine where where you watch [TS]

01:02:01   your children died and you watch your [TS]

01:02:03   your parents died and you watched your [TS]

01:02:06   you watch your loved ones died and you [TS]

01:02:08   survived somehow [TS]

01:02:10   at if if trauma is encoded in our genes [TS]

01:02:14   we like our forefathers all of us [TS]

01:02:19   survived like exponential compounded [TS]

01:02:27   trauma [TS]

01:02:28   it's the story of humanity so this is [TS]

01:02:30   the same people who passed in the [TS]

01:02:31   Holocaust also where their their [TS]

01:02:33   grandparents for the victims of programs [TS]

01:02:35   right and and and back and all the way [TS]

01:02:38   you know and everyone so trauma so at [TS]

01:02:42   that point it isn't news because we are [TS]

01:02:47   all baked out of trauma and and so that [TS]

01:02:56   is the human story we we are all we all [TS]

01:02:59   of us have it from there the number of [TS]

01:03:03   people who can go back 500 years and say [TS]

01:03:06   no as a matter of fact for the last 500 [TS]

01:03:08   years i come from i come from royal [TS]

01:03:14   stock and we have all and we we've done [TS]

01:03:18   nothing but eat the fat of the of the [TS]

01:03:21   lamb for for 500 years and it's like [TS]

01:03:24   really you didn't have there was nobody [TS]

01:03:26   in that family that got early-onset [TS]

01:03:29   Alzheimer's disease and and turned to [TS]

01:03:35   generation into like like traumatized [TS]

01:03:39   generation I'm and and even so that [TS]

01:03:42   presumes that 500 years of good times [TS]

01:03:44   erases the 50,000 years of trauma that I [TS]

01:03:48   seated and I pretty pretty good run [TS]

01:03:50   there for a while but then that [TS]

01:03:51   genetically good times kind of get [TS]

01:03:55   encoded in there too and I mean I [TS]

01:03:56   presume that they be my stride of trauma [TS]

01:03:58   drama shows up in the genetic record [TS]

01:04:01   then then good times and lands aplenty [TS]

01:04:04   must to and so it does it changes our [TS]

01:04:08   understanding of history changes our [TS]

01:04:10   understanding of ourselves but there's [TS]

01:04:13   no group of people that can say that [TS]

01:04:17   they have a that that that [TS]

01:04:20   have some kind of lock on on trauma we [TS]

01:04:26   just we can see that there are groups in [TS]

01:04:27   recent history in recent memory who say [TS]

01:04:30   like yes I personally experienced trauma [TS]

01:04:33   or my grandmother did but um but it all [TS]

01:04:41   you know it's all part of the the ones [TS]

01:04:45   and zeros that make up our whole selves [TS]

01:04:49   and so right now we're engaged in the [TS]

01:04:53   civilizing project that's been happening [TS]

01:04:57   since the end of world war two where [TS]

01:05:00   we've changed the definition of what [TS]

01:05:02   civilized is and we've we've all agreed [TS]

01:05:08   more or less you know on this kind of [TS]

01:05:12   like what we'd like it to look like but [TS]

01:05:15   within America obviously we have we have [TS]

01:05:18   two major different versions of what [TS]

01:05:21   that looks like and now we're engaged in [TS]

01:05:26   this like rooting out of of heresy and [TS]

01:05:31   this this presumption that we can clean [TS]

01:05:35   ourselves of our impulses to be [TS]

01:05:40   predatory clean ourselves of our [TS]

01:05:43   impulses to to hurt one another and to [TS]

01:05:46   to be greedy and be xenophobic and and [TS]

01:05:52   to live in fear and to act in fear and [TS]

01:05:55   we can we can clean that behavior out of [TS]

01:05:58   us and and walk into this future we [TS]

01:06:01   imagine where were kind where our [TS]

01:06:04   natures are kind and where unkindness [TS]

01:06:10   isn't it you know we go through we go [TS]

01:06:12   through this difficult birthing period [TS]

01:06:14   where unkindness isn't tolerated in [TS]

01:06:17   order to achieve a world where [TS]

01:06:18   unkindness doesn't occur to us and [TS]

01:06:24   that's a you know that is a major [TS]

01:06:28   thought experiment first and [TS]

01:06:33   and I don't have I don't i'm not sure [TS]

01:06:37   that it works that way so that's that [TS]

01:06:43   that's the difficulty I get into looking [TS]

01:06:45   at history and and then going on the [TS]

01:06:49   porch and and trying to understand [TS]

01:06:52   people is just that you know what is our [TS]

01:06:56   project is it to be is it tip is it to [TS]

01:07:00   cleanse ourselves and become good [TS]

01:07:03   sadly that was the impulse the Nazis had [TS]

01:07:07   to and that was the IMP and that's [TS]

01:07:10   always been the impulse of all the awful [TS]

01:07:12   things that we've done in in the last [TS]

01:07:14   400 years never thought of it that way [TS]

01:07:16   is like we want to clean ourselves and [TS]

01:07:20   get to that you know and get to a place [TS]

01:07:23   where that where the dirtiness doesn't [TS]

01:07:25   reappear and we're doing it again now [TS]

01:07:29   and you know and I'm not comparing it to [TS]

01:07:35   the to the Holocaust but what what's are [TS]

01:07:40   you know what what do we see what gives [TS]

01:07:43   us what is the evidence that we can be [TS]

01:07:46   cleansed that way and and it without [TS]

01:07:54   that evidence like what's another way of [TS]

01:07:58   looking at it [TS]

01:07:58   what's an alternative goal where we stop [TS]

01:08:02   imagining that we can rid ourselves of [TS]

01:08:05   evil and stop imagining that we can rid [TS]

01:08:07   ourselves of violence and start [TS]

01:08:10   imagining how we can accept those things [TS]

01:08:15   about ourselves and incorporate those [TS]

01:08:18   things into into a true clear-eyed [TS]

01:08:24   understanding of what kind of animals we [TS]

01:08:27   are but but nobody seems it to engage in [TS]

01:08:33   that project because you know to presume [TS]

01:08:37   to presume that were that we can't be [TS]

01:08:41   perfect is too [TS]

01:08:44   it is so many people are just like well [TS]

01:08:46   if we can't be perfect then I don't [TS]

01:08:48   wanna I don't want to play if week if we [TS]

01:08:53   can't be perfect then that means too [TS]

01:08:57   much that means that's there there's too [TS]

01:08:59   much potential ugliness and so so [TS]

01:09:03   instead i prefer to believe that we can [TS]

01:09:05   be perfect and and and and that begins [TS]

01:09:09   that should begin with my neighbors [TS]

01:09:12   ok that perfect tap for impulse two [TS]

01:09:15   perfect people is going to start with me [TS]

01:09:17   trying to perfect my neighbors and it's [TS]

01:09:22   just like oh here we go again [TS]

01:09:24   I typical muscle in my shoulder [TS]

01:09:35   where's my perfect your fucking getting [TS]

01:09:41   old [TS]

01:09:42   you're falling apart right in front of [TS]

01:09:43   us were already cut the show everybody [TS]

01:09:45   can hear it nothing but never air kind [TS]

01:09:48   of please get a fresh blanket over here [TS]