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0:00:27[Music]
0:00:32hello hi John hi Marilyn
0:00:35how's it going good I there was a storm
0:00:42up here in Washington and I left my
0:00:47office windows open a crack and the
0:00:52storm opened them up all the way and
0:00:58fill the room with storm
0:01:00oh no they appreciate perimeter yeah so
0:01:04everything is covered with a fine layer
0:01:07of ash and amazingly like the ceiling is
0:01:14suddenly peeling I don't know how it got
0:01:17up to the ceiling
0:01:18sure this isn't a dream ahead and the
0:01:21curtains were all askew and it was very
0:01:24exciting to because I saw when I pulled
0:01:26up I saw that the windows were all the
0:01:29way open and I was like who's been in my
0:01:32office opening the windows and then I
0:01:33came in and I was like oh the storm was
0:01:36in my office and non rainstorms a
0:01:38windstorm yeah we get those in the
0:01:41northwest quite quite a bit and when the
0:01:43seasons change we get a big windstorm
0:01:45and so it they are accompanied by rain
0:01:49often and and this one was but but my
0:01:51sense is that it's mostly wind that got
0:01:55in here and and did its dirty business
0:01:59oh my gosh that's ash from all the fires
0:02:01huh who knows where the where the lip
0:02:04the thin coating of greasy ash came from
0:02:07but yeah so like living it up on its
0:02:10like something so like living in a bomb
0:02:15travis has resin dude yeah except
0:02:18there's no like there's no water bug
0:02:20where's the carb where's the car where
0:02:23is the car John I told you the story
0:02:25right about the friend of mine from
0:02:27Florida that that woke up and took a big
0:02:29hit off his bong and then realize that
0:02:31then a a water bug had been hanging out
0:02:35of his bond was now in his mouth
0:02:37oh one of those flying Florida
0:02:40cockroaches this is
0:02:41size of a tennis shoe but imagine you
0:02:44just like our little wake and bake
0:02:47oh no do it was alive when a hole dude
0:02:52it was so live we so hard from living in
0:02:56a ball you that must have harsh mellow
0:02:58dude he was just chillin in his bong an
0:03:01office and he's like oh no wow oh my god
0:03:07totally in your mouth could be on
0:03:11oh do you need to do any kind of I don't
0:03:14know like regulation damage control with
0:03:17you what you just scrape it off your
0:03:19stuff but either so I cleared a little
0:03:21area right here for my elbow anywhere
0:03:26you want a blazer right now
0:03:27no I'm not today you know in fact I've
0:03:29already have already encountered one
0:03:31person today who made a comment my good
0:03:34friend Jason Finn saw me and he said so
0:03:39I you've just let yourself go to shit
0:03:43now you don't you're not even wearing a
0:03:45button button up shirt 20 supporter
0:03:47always a supporter to t know blazer no
0:03:49no tie
0:03:50now you're just in a t-shirt and jeans
0:03:53and I was like you know what fuck it
0:03:55seasons changing before I got nobody to
0:03:57impress anymore i took a shower today
0:03:59the only reason I took a shower is that
0:04:01my family including my darling daughter
0:04:04had started to comment that Daddy smell
0:04:07funny
0:04:08oh because i had just let myself just go
0:04:11to hell over the weekend and I was like
0:04:14all right fine I'll take a shower
0:04:16I'm not above it uh-huh but I'm not
0:04:17gonna put I'm not you know more and
0:04:19white socks today i'm not i'm not
0:04:21dressing up for anybody anymore
0:04:23well it's not labor day yet true that's
0:04:26right you can still wear white socks
0:04:27Johnny said only I feel like there's you
0:04:30got Memorial Day and Labor Day and those
0:04:32sort of book and the it's okay to wear
0:04:34in formal clothes and white shoes are
0:04:36there other days in the year to change
0:04:38which are allowed to wear em good point
0:04:41our good question i think that there are
0:04:43there's a limited number of time number
0:04:45number number of weeks in the year that
0:04:47you can wear any item of clothing that
0:04:50has a wreath or a reindeer on it
0:04:53right so you have you start doing that
0:04:56before I mean personally I feel like
0:04:58thanksgiving is is the day before which
0:05:02you should not wear or have anything to
0:05:05do with the reindeer it's gonna seem
0:05:06like the washer broke
0:05:08yeah right exactly if it it's a lot
0:05:10that's a laundry date I peril
0:05:12I feel like if it's before thanksgiving
0:05:15and a reindeer comes up to you on the
0:05:17street and tells you that his fan belt
0:05:19broke and his wife and daughter are
0:05:21waiting in the car around the block and
0:05:22all he needs is five dollars you tell
0:05:23him to fuck off before before
0:05:25Thanksgiving after thanksgiving you go
0:05:27yeah okay I'll up i'll buy white part of
0:05:31the holiday spirit
0:05:33yeah the reindeer out so that's that's
0:05:35one thing
0:05:37definitely I feel like you know I'm
0:05:42saying about this the other day in my
0:05:44mind's eye on sep tember first of the
0:05:49year and i don't mean the calendar i
0:05:50mean the year as the year occupies
0:05:52physical space the year takes a right
0:05:55turn a 90-degree right turn September
0:05:59first and the implication of that right
0:06:03turn in my mind's eye is that the year
0:06:06is square and that every four months it
0:06:12takes another right turn
0:06:13but that is not actually how the year is
0:06:17built the rectangular year
0:06:19well no I mean for oh I'm sorry every
0:06:23three years every three years it would
0:06:25take a right turn
0:06:26I'm sorry every three months what am I
0:06:28talking about every three months
0:06:29you are so high right now that's pretty
0:06:32high the timer october november december
0:06:35so it's the last third of the year it's
0:06:38like you turn the corner on a triangle
0:06:40that right well so but here's the
0:06:43problem
0:06:43there's definitely a right-angle turn
0:06:46September from August August your head
0:06:49along in an east-west direction and then
0:06:52September first you take a right hand
0:06:55turn 90 degree turn and now you are
0:06:58headed in my mind's eye
0:07:00you're headed south into fall
0:07:05and then you get in you're headed south
0:07:08into fall and and you know and maybe a
0:07:10little bit downhill but then sort of
0:07:12after thanksgiving you start to go
0:07:14uphill and then christmas is there and
0:07:18then at New Year's you definitely take
0:07:20another 90 degree right hand turn now
0:07:23headed west into the new year right but
0:07:29then somewhere in january-february you
0:07:35start to edge to the right you're not
0:07:39taking a right hand turn but you heading
0:07:41right you're you're veering right into
0:07:44march april and that's kind of a rounded
0:07:48turn where you're headed
0:07:51you know you're headed north again but
0:07:53in a little bit of a you know it's a
0:07:55little bumpy the ride but definitely
0:07:57bye-bye may you're headed north
0:08:02you're heading in a northerly direction
0:08:04and then in June there's a kind of an
0:08:10it's not a it's not a gradual turn it's
0:08:12an angled turn it can and i cannot to
0:08:15stern like an obtuse turn nice easy turn
0:08:19they're definitely headed north at this
0:08:21point but you're headed in a kind of at
0:08:23an angle so that when you get to july
0:08:26again you have to you have to like comp
0:08:30the rest of that turn if you're going to
0:08:33make it to that if you're going to make
0:08:35it back to sep tember so july and august
0:08:38are headed
0:08:39I think kind of in a I mean that through
0:08:42a series of minor turns they have to end
0:08:45up headed back east but it's very funny
0:08:49that the spring and summer is a series
0:08:51of gradual angled turns whereas spall
0:08:55and winter are are defined by these two
0:08:58right angle turn I should have been
0:09:02drawing this instead of just strictly
0:09:04listening
0:09:05yeah its contents maybe they could draw
0:09:07that up for us and I feel like somewhere
0:09:09in the shape of the year the shape of
0:09:12the year and feeling februari March
0:09:13there might actually be turns that are
0:09:16kind of back to the west a little bit
0:09:18like
0:09:18it's not it's not clear that it's always
0:09:20rounding back to september's some of
0:09:23that some of those weeks like right
0:09:26around him especially around it leap
0:09:27year you know you're going uphill and to
0:09:31the west babies that a third dimension
0:09:35you know before your like before you
0:09:36level off and head start headed down
0:09:39into the North back into spring so there
0:09:44are several days in there where I feel
0:09:47like costume changes are maybe not
0:09:50mandatory but but certainly new things
0:09:54come into play because I'm wearing a
0:09:56tweed hat today and I feel like it looks
0:10:00good on you
0:10:01I feel like that is pushing it for for
0:10:03august 31st it seemed more like i like i
0:10:06like i like fall headgear
0:10:08yeah I feel like I feel like a tweed hat
0:10:10is is it you shouldn't even wear it in
0:10:13September I feel like it's an october
0:10:14november december thing yep
0:10:17yeah but then in by December you should
0:10:20be he should be transitioning into a
0:10:22kind of a fur hat or a knit hat over and
0:10:27then in the spring
0:10:28you're going back you gradually as time
0:10:32goes on from from knit caps to kind of
0:10:34you know 22 whimsical hats like an era
0:10:40the head type thing
0:10:42well no I mean I do have a baseball app
0:10:44that has moved moose antlers all I want
0:10:47this so much when I was in like seventh
0:10:48grade and that's when I got it and i've
0:10:50been wearing it ever since
0:10:51but you know like you that's when you
0:10:53start to wear your chapeau your various
0:10:56Shippo your newsboy cap and your and
0:10:59your you know your felt fedora type pats
0:11:04something jaunty in the spring
0:11:06whoo-hoo and then in that and then in
0:11:08late spring you can bring a bust out the
0:11:10baseball hats and all that stuff is it's
0:11:14really seasoned to taste i know this is
0:11:16not on the list for John's next project
0:11:21which we should talk about at some point
0:11:22by down I IC IC possibly a little thin
0:11:27volume the John fashion all aspects of
0:11:31fashion not sure
0:11:32men's clothes but fashion as as the as
0:11:35the elephant in the cultural room
0:11:37mmm fashion vs STYLE&FASHION reverses
0:11:40preference
0:11:40yes all kinds of those little shades I I
0:11:44went to I went to the junkyard today I
0:11:47had a very busy gay i woke up this
0:11:50morning I put the baby in the bath then
0:11:53I made her some bagels and then I put on
0:11:58an airplane to Paris don't want to the
0:12:01law
0:12:02Oh blah here's how you say as a
0:12:05thank-you merci
0:12:06you can say merci bien or merci beaucoup
0:12:09depending on you know how funny you want
0:12:13to sound then i left the airport I went
0:12:16immediately to the junkyard
0:12:17I spent an hour at the junkyard and I
0:12:20and I honestly felt like you know I
0:12:23could just have I could just do a TV
0:12:25show of just me wandering around a
0:12:26junkyard because there's so much to talk
0:12:28about i think we people watch that
0:12:31there's so much I don't give your
0:12:34remarks about the things that are in the
0:12:35junkyard or just you think about life
0:12:37well the thing is if you can walk around
0:12:39a junkyard and not think about life i'll
0:12:40put in with you
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0:14:04great shows
0:14:05Squarespace build it beautiful I feel
0:14:07like I definitely not as you're
0:14:10surrounded by it
0:14:11yes that's right it's like somebody dies
0:14:13or something you're going to think about
0:14:14life
0:14:15alright you know if you it so you can
0:14:17comment
0:14:18are you coming all day on the stuff
0:14:20that's in a junkyard but your cars are
0:14:23very personal very personal for people
0:14:25and he always all I I forget how
0:14:27personal it is for people
0:14:29hmm i dunno i have to tell my daughter
0:14:31like when you know you know kids they
0:14:32walk around walk real slow and touch
0:14:34everything and reminders like don't
0:14:36touch somebody's cars telling me about
0:14:38her day she's walking along and then she
0:14:39starts she starts kind of like handling
0:14:42the logo on the car and like he can't do
0:14:44that like somebody in some places that
0:14:46some see it's easy like handling their
0:14:47Mercedes logo you do not want to get
0:14:50that person that you don't you do not
0:14:51want to provoke somebody thats right
0:14:53dont even even if you're walking along
0:14:55absent-mindedly just drawing one finger
0:14:57along the side of a car somebody's going
0:14:58to be mad about it
0:14:59yep so why around a junkyard you're
0:15:02looking at you know there's 10,000
0:15:04stories in The Naked City and every one
0:15:06of them ends up in a junkyard but also
0:15:09it's not to think about that a lot with
0:15:11the corner its everytime everytime i see
0:15:14a bad tattoo i am actually say it's mike
0:15:18as you see that you see that someday a
0:15:19corner is going to have to kind of draw
0:15:21that notebook yeah it's likely that
0:15:24person is going to be dead and they're
0:15:26gonna have to draw that tattoo for the
0:15:27record
0:15:28yeah the last or describe it the most
0:15:31person that's going to see it and really
0:15:32appreciate it is the is the is the guy
0:15:34at the crematorium that's a that's
0:15:37making like eighteen dollars an hour
0:15:38apparently at our German Blackwater
0:15:43gothic how I got a problem original
0:15:46certain
0:15:48rock chalk I'm sure that they just have
0:15:53I'm sure they have just uh a picture
0:15:55book of tattoos and you just circle the
0:15:57one just like I owe symbol for Shanti on
0:16:01the back of her neck circle kanji symbol
0:16:04for regret looks like winnie-the-pooh
0:16:06flying a yin-yang kite circle so anyway
0:16:11you're isn't your internet actually a
0:16:13junkyard is the story of
0:16:14twentieth-century industrialism write it
0:16:17so that means either their cars there
0:16:20that I mean you don't see a lot of cars
0:16:21from the thirties anymore in a junkyard
0:16:23but you definitely see them from the
0:16:25forties and fifties if you're lucky and
0:16:27then all their full of cars from the
0:16:30seventies and eighties and and just then
0:16:34on all the stories that are good but
0:16:36then then your mind starts to wander and
0:16:39you're thinking about Oh life and times
0:16:43and the wars and you know and Hermann
0:16:48Goering and then pretty soon you're
0:16:52thinking about dim sum and it's getting
0:16:56late in the day and what is a what do
0:16:58you have to do how how do you have to
0:17:00get out of here on the way out of the
0:17:01junkyard
0:17:02I'm talking to the guy behind the
0:17:04counter who calls he's calling me boss
0:17:05he calls me Bobby nice which is really
0:17:08nice i like boss I feel like getting
0:17:11called boss by the guide the junkyard is
0:17:12exactly right and he's got he's not
0:17:15suffering fools heat because first of
0:17:17all he sees the guy working at the jack
0:17:20currencies more fools per capita than
0:17:23anybody it aside from like a reporter
0:17:26for entertainment tonight at the VMAs
0:17:29right they're going to see a lot of
0:17:31fools but the guide the junkyard sees a
0:17:33different kind of fool i'm talking to
0:17:36him and I and I and he looks over my
0:17:38shoulder at somebody coming through the
0:17:40front door and he says hey buddy hey you
0:17:45know what you got
0:17:47you put that back don't just leave it
0:17:49and so I turn around and the guide
0:17:52walked in the door and somehow something
0:17:54had something in the door jamb had
0:17:56fallen down
0:17:59the pneumatic door closer and the guy
0:18:02had water guy walked in and he's wearing
0:18:04a baseball hat that's camouflaging it
0:18:07has a deer on it and he just seemed seen
0:18:12it and the guy behind the counter and
0:18:13seen him see it and he just kept going
0:18:15and so these discipline name that the
0:18:17counterman is disciplining the guys like
0:18:19you got it you know like fix that you
0:18:21don't just walk in and leave it so the
0:18:23guy goes back and he starts to try to
0:18:25fix it fix the door and I'm in the
0:18:30middle of asking the counterman question
0:18:32so I I figure okay the guys fixing the
0:18:36door now
0:18:36now I now it's my turn so I say so
0:18:39anyway is it possible that but the
0:18:43counterman isn't paying attention to me
0:18:45anymore he's focused on the door and he
0:18:48says to the guy
0:18:49hey hey pal you're making it more more
0:18:52complicated than it needs to be
0:18:53you just gotta and at that point a
0:18:58second guy walking in the door stops and
0:19:01starts helping the camouflage baseball
0:19:03hat guy fix the door jamb but i can see
0:19:06that the two of them together have now
0:19:08made it a hundred times worse now the
0:19:11entire top of the door is loose and and
0:19:16the junkyard guy he's not going to go
0:19:18out and get himself on principle on
0:19:20principle he's not going to so so then
0:19:23he says so then he's getting and i'm
0:19:25looking at the junkyard guy and I'm
0:19:27thinking okay my job right now is
0:19:33graceful exit because I've already asked
0:19:36I've already started to ask the
0:19:37counterman my final question twice and
0:19:41two times I haven't made it all the way
0:19:44at the end of the question and now the
0:19:46door is falling apart and I just want
0:19:50out of here but I can't get out of here
0:19:52because these guys are I've got the door
0:19:54blocked and it's like literally now that
0:19:57it's falling down around them so I can't
0:20:00leave but I'm not going to stand here
0:20:02and repeat my question a third time and
0:20:06I'm not going to i'm not going to put
0:20:08myself over to the side
0:20:10and wait in a in kuwait line for the for
0:20:17the attention to go back to me because
0:20:19when it finally does there's gonna be
0:20:21six guys in the room and they're all
0:20:23going to turn me and go now what was
0:20:24your fucking question
0:20:26and my question is does not rate that
0:20:30amount of attention right i'm at the
0:20:32junkyard there guys here that are
0:20:34rebuilding four-barrel carburetors
0:20:36that's not what I'm doing now i just
0:20:39went out and so I start to make my way
0:20:42to the door at which point the
0:20:44camouflage baseball hat time and his at
0:20:48this and completely unrelated dude who's
0:20:51in like a camel jacket the entire top of
0:20:56the door frame false starts with all its
0:20:58just falls completely I don't know how
0:21:00they did it and the counterman is like
0:21:03oh my you know it's like you guys come
0:21:06on
0:21:07and at a certain moment the one the
0:21:10camouflage baseball hat guy is holding
0:21:12up the holding up one side of the frame
0:21:14and kind of leaning back and looking at
0:21:17it with his head and the other guys on
0:21:19the other side of the door holding up
0:21:21the frame and they make a perfect like a
0:21:26like a like a perfect Moorish arch one
0:21:30hand up here the guys at back is arched
0:21:34the other guys back is arched the the
0:21:36door is falling down and I just make for
0:21:39the gap and I as I'm as I leave I turn
0:21:43and I I pointed the counterman and I say
0:21:46I'll catch you later and proved right
0:21:50through and right as i make as red as I
0:21:53make it through the gap it's like the
0:21:55Millennium Falcon going out of the
0:21:58leaving the worms mouth in the asteroid
0:22:01who heard a hold or just completely
0:22:05comes apart and these guys are juggling
0:22:08parts and they're bumping into each
0:22:09other and it's just the catastrophe and
0:22:12I just barely made it out and that for
0:22:17all I know there's the half a dozen guys
0:22:19still stuck in that auto parts store
0:22:21because nobody knows nobody knows how to
0:22:23leave
0:22:23you got the last chopper out of Saigon
0:22:24you know what I fucking did and I'm
0:22:29grateful you know I'm grateful and part
0:22:31of that is I surveyed the situation I
0:22:33knew going in whatever the conversation
0:22:37I was going to have that counter guy
0:22:38could at any moment be interrupted by
0:22:40somebody who needed it was like a
0:22:43serious wrench turning guy who had a
0:22:46serious question
0:22:47I didn't foresee that the portal would
0:22:51be closing so fast huh
0:22:53so this day has had a lot of adventure
0:22:56already and then I went to do the dim
0:22:57summits play on so i pretty much
0:23:01everything I know about junkyards comes
0:23:03from like a scene in slacker
0:23:04I I used to think a junkyard was like a
0:23:08dump
0:23:08I thought the place was kid I thought oh
0:23:10junkyard that's a place we take an old
0:23:12car is dead and it goes and lives there
0:23:15and it's like it's like because I gotta
0:23:16be heaven right but slacker help me
0:23:18understand that there's a reason for
0:23:19junk cars which is you go there and you
0:23:22get parts from your model car in the
0:23:25junkyard to put in your own car is that
0:23:27how junkyard works is that correct that
0:23:29is one of the things that you can do a
0:23:31junkyard yes that's a very good idea
0:23:33it's a great idea and back in the old
0:23:35days when cars were things that normal
0:23:40people could work on and they had you
0:23:44know more or less interchangeable parts
0:23:47a lot of them like if you had a Chevy as
0:23:50my mom would say my mom is teaching my
0:23:52daughter to say Chevy now that's how you
0:23:54gotta stop that instead well I can't I
0:23:57mean it's parties very strong-willed
0:23:58John it's part of our vernacular and I
0:24:01don't she doesn't it's not like she's
0:24:02it's not like she's correcting a her 1c
0:24:06when she says chevy it's just that my
0:24:08mom pronounces it should be
0:24:10I've never heard that chevy's I never
0:24:13heard shitty Senate doesn't know hi
0:24:15thing must be some it's a western Ohio
0:24:19thing and so she say so like my kid has
0:24:24started to because she likes to call out
0:24:26all the different kinds of cars you see
0:24:28and identify cars
0:24:30she knows every kind of car she knows
0:24:33every kind of nut
0:24:34and she knows every kind of car and he's
0:24:39back name every kind enough and so she
0:24:41she was driving down the street and one
0:24:44of the games you like supply as you know
0:24:47nissan toyota ford ford shivvy and I'm
0:24:54like shit EP oh my god I've been hearing
0:24:57that my whole life and now my kid is
0:24:59saying it should be but it used to be
0:25:03you could go to the junkyard if you had
0:25:04a Chevy you knew that you just did find
0:25:08a whole bunch of shit he's in the
0:25:09junkyard and you'd find the shitty part
0:25:10that you needed and it will bolt right
0:25:12on to your car and now of course cars
0:25:17are just they're made by 3d printers
0:25:20they're basically computers with wheels
0:25:22yeah they're just they're all injection
0:25:24molded and none of them you know they're
0:25:28not really like fixable in the same way
0:25:30but there are enough people that I mean
0:25:34when I was the hour-and-a-half i spent
0:25:37walking around the rainy junkyard
0:25:40looking for the particular part i was
0:25:41looking for
0:25:42there were a dozen other people out
0:25:44there and you know you bring your own
0:25:46tools to the junkyard is really huh
0:25:48and so a bunch of people walking around
0:25:50with their toolkits and they're they're
0:25:54taking the trim off of the door of the
0:25:56off the passenger side door of a ford
0:25:59aerostar or they're you know they're
0:26:02they're trying to figure out how to
0:26:04dismantle the air-conditioning hoses
0:26:08from a from a caprice classic and people
0:26:13still enough people doing that kind of
0:26:15work that there's that there's still
0:26:18cause for other a lot fewer junkyards
0:26:20and there were I think I mean I used to
0:26:23spend a lot of time in them when I was
0:26:24young because I i was trying to
0:26:26customize my car
0:26:29whatever
0:26:31maybe if you own the land it's gonna be
0:26:33a pretty good deal it's like a parking
0:26:34lot right i mean like your he is not
0:26:37going to cost you that much to have it
0:26:39right and over time somebody will
0:26:41eventually get the the manifold cover
0:26:43case of that shitty exactly and then
0:26:45when the car has been completely
0:26:46stripped then you crush it and sell it
0:26:50for the scrap metal value so when you
0:26:53see those semi trucks driving down the
0:26:55road with with the 25 squished cars on
0:26:58the better huh
0:26:59they're going from a junkyard to a metal
0:27:01yard and then circle of life
0:27:05that's right circle of life that's right
0:27:07so wandering around i am what i was
0:27:10looking for a specific part but as I but
0:27:12I got I got caught up in the loop in the
0:27:14lives of some of these cars where was
0:27:17just like oh that that car could talk I
0:27:19mean that car can talk because you all
0:27:22you have to do is look at it and it's
0:27:23telling you so much about itself and
0:27:26what it's seen the miles its travels
0:27:28literally and figuratively
0:27:33so it was it made me want to do is go
0:27:35back to the junkyard
0:27:36I haven't been to one in a long time i
0:27:39was looking for a specific part but
0:27:40really i don't i don't want it i don't
0:27:44want to need any one part i want to go
0:27:46there and find the part I didn't know I
0:27:49needed
0:27:50mm you know mmm such as a candle thing
0:27:53you're you're on a building from mine
0:27:56except you're not young right it's like
0:27:58a young man's journey that's right you
0:28:01don't you may not know what your what
0:28:02your grill cup is but you want the one
0:28:03that carpenter would use that's exactly
0:28:06it you want to find a comment you want
0:28:08to find a carpenter skup you walk around
0:28:10that mean the first thing you have to do
0:28:13is have faith that he step into the
0:28:17abyss and that that they're they're not
0:28:20going to fall
0:28:21who but i mean i know i know a lot about
0:28:25one of the things about a junkyard is
0:28:27for it to be useful for you at all
0:28:30you have to have a pretty good knowledge
0:28:33of what I'm what all cars look like such
0:28:38that you can see them in there
0:28:41completely dismantled state
0:28:44wrecked and picked over and still be
0:28:48able to tell what kind it is right
0:28:51because if you're in there looking for
0:28:52apart from a Nissan say yeah yeah it's
0:28:55don't make model year anything you gotta
0:28:57be able to look across a field strewn
0:28:59with junk cars where all the doors have
0:29:02been taken off and the hoods are up and
0:29:04the the glasses are broken and the roofs
0:29:08are crushed and you have to be able to
0:29:10teach you know use your encyclopedia of
0:29:13of cues to say like because I for
0:29:18instance i'm i'm looking for a Chevy
0:29:20truck chevy truck from a certain era GMC
0:29:23truck from certain era where a lot of
0:29:26trucks in a junkyard but if you don't
0:29:30know the difference between a Ford and
0:29:31Chevy you spend all afternoon walking
0:29:35all the way over to afford to I was
0:29:39going to try and look for the logo will
0:29:41goes long gone
0:29:42can't break that truck that truck rolled
0:29:45off rolled off the pacific coast highway
0:29:46and down a hill and sat in the you know
0:29:50set in the tide pool for four years and
0:29:52got towed out you better be able to tell
0:29:54that's a Ford well let's let's let's say
0:29:57the obvious it is probably not too cool
0:29:59to be using your iphone a lot at the
0:30:01junkyard
0:30:02well you know he doesn't like a little
0:30:05bit like a tingling if you're certainly
0:30:07if you're like what is this car
0:30:10yeah and and and also one of the rules
0:30:12of the junkyard is when what a body
0:30:14meets a body coming through the Rye who
0:30:16you don't really acknowledge the other
0:30:20person catching the shitty exactly
0:30:24because you are you are fucking
0:30:27scavengers prefer in a boneyard
0:30:31oh I see it's certainly a men's room if
0:30:34you keep your own counsel
0:30:36yeah you're not like PayPal my man there
0:30:38to make friends yeah what are you
0:30:39looking for like no this carpet checker
0:30:43Imperial exactly
0:30:45no you don't ask to borrow somebody's
0:30:47tools you don't even this is one of the
0:30:50few areas where where a where people are
0:30:53going about their business such that you
0:30:54don't even nod and may
0:30:56i contact if you see if you come upon
0:30:58somebody out there it's it is it's
0:31:01already it's basically already two steps
0:31:04toward the apocalypse so so your first
0:31:09concern is to meet somebody in one of
0:31:12those places you have to assume that
0:31:13they want your water it's not become
0:31:17addicted to water that's right but did
0:31:23not have predicted the water but maybe
0:31:26week
0:31:27mmhmm yeah once again this episode of
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0:33:00the loss just a quick side note i should
0:33:01write this down
0:33:03I know you got a lot of projects in your
0:33:04player and another one would be just put
0:33:07out the fucking rule book for all the
0:33:08stuff that a lot of people don't know
0:33:09out you could do it and anonymously
0:33:11maybe more like some kind of a book like
0:33:13you don't even miss the rules were not
0:33:15even allowed to talk about and I'm sure
0:33:17to tell you I didn't even know junkyard
0:33:19head rules like that
0:33:20oh yeah you could you could save me so
0:33:21much indignity somebody from Vice
0:33:24magazine Romy not very long ago and they
0:33:26said would you write a book about her
0:33:28write an article at least in her right
0:33:30there
0:33:31well that's why they're asking me would
0:33:35you write up an article about all the
0:33:37rules that people should know before
0:33:40they act like citizen journalists
0:33:42videotaping police brutality or whatever
0:33:46yeah because i had made some comments
0:33:49over the years to the effect of to the
0:33:52fact that people that such a such a
0:33:55volume needs to be widely disseminated
0:33:57because people's citizen journalism is
0:34:01being somewhat hamstrung by the fact
0:34:02that they don't understand
0:34:04portrait mode know and they don't
0:34:08understand not to say fuck stock fuck
0:34:14that these are good rules while they are
0:34:16feeling video tapings John you do not
0:34:18know how much intestinal fortitude it
0:34:20takes for me every day to not walk up to
0:34:23people grab their hand and turn it 90
0:34:26degrees but you have you a different
0:34:30shape TV than i do you know that's gonna
0:34:32look like you know what that's gonna do
0:34:33you have any idea what does i know
0:34:34people are taller than wide generally
0:34:36but just doing a favorite hold it
0:34:38sideways
0:34:39yeah it's a basic rule I mean that one
0:34:41that one that city in China exploded
0:34:44there was some amazing footage of it
0:34:49once again taken in standup camera mode
0:34:53and and you're like oh my god this is
0:34:57like the this is an incredible moment
0:35:00you are watching an entire city explode
0:35:05and no one has taught you how to hold it
0:35:08free kick
0:35:08yeah yeah it's also incredibly dorky to
0:35:12watch
0:35:13we just want is painful to watch because
0:35:14you're going like Oh
0:35:16it's almost like their thumbs over part
0:35:17of the lens yeah so and the and the the
0:35:20person from vice was very nice and and
0:35:22actually like seemed like a really kind
0:35:24of smart editor guy and was like hey you
0:35:27know you want to write this or do you
0:35:28want to collaborate on i was like i do
0:35:31want to collaborate on it with you i
0:35:33think that would be really that would be
0:35:34really useful it would be good for
0:35:35people we should collaborate on a guide
0:35:40a citizen's guide to to you know to be a
0:35:46amateur journalists
0:35:48oh and so how especially especially with
0:35:50the camera because I i can think of like
0:35:52about by half a dozen things I wish
0:35:53everybody knew about using the camera on
0:35:56their phone that can make so much of a
0:35:58difference
0:35:58well the other thing is like don't pinch
0:36:01zoom in now and don't ever first of all
0:36:05move on that I think the very first
0:36:07thing almost everybody needs to know is
0:36:10like you see this in like when the first
0:36:12time dad gets a camera in the eighties
0:36:14it's like do not do a bunch of like we
0:36:17don't like vine don't do all these like
0:36:20three second shots don't know don't
0:36:22short shots
0:36:22don't move the camera keep the camera in
0:36:24one place you think you need to move
0:36:26your eyes don't move the camera
0:36:28yeah yeah but turn the camera on put it
0:36:31sideways and then walk as close to the
0:36:34action as you can stay quiet and like if
0:36:40you're gonna move if you're going to if
0:36:42you if you need to move to get to get a
0:36:43better view of it slow movements but not
0:36:47with the you know move your body not the
0:36:49not the don't wiggle the camera there's
0:36:52so many things to say and an exciting
0:36:55slide all that i would you also going to
0:36:56the stuff like like know your rights
0:36:57type stuff will absolutely have to talk
0:36:59about that stuff but at and all of that
0:37:01is part and parcel of saying like what
0:37:04is interesting that even that's another
0:37:07thing that a citizen journalist needs to
0:37:09think about what is interesting about
0:37:12this and because so often you see if you
0:37:16see it some footage where the action
0:37:21that they think is interesting is
0:37:23completed and they they stopped filming
0:37:25but that wasn't the end of what's
0:37:28interesting about
0:37:29that's her that wasn't you know that
0:37:31wasn't actually the end of the scene
0:37:32that brings I could be instantiated a
0:37:35vent or the action is just one part of
0:37:37it and especially in police cases what
0:37:39happens next could be even more
0:37:40important exactly internet like what
0:37:42happens with the actual story if you're
0:37:44watching a confrontation and then
0:37:45somebody gets shot the end is not the
0:37:49person got shot the end is like what
0:37:52happens in the next 10 minutes that's
0:37:54the whole case so all that and so that
0:37:57the person from vice was awesome sent me
0:38:00a long email with their thoughts and
0:38:03their construction of it and and what
0:38:06what you know how they imagine it and
0:38:08then I just completely just drop the
0:38:10ball and didn't didn't reply which I
0:38:15feel terrible about and I should maybe
0:38:17go find that and and dig that up because
0:38:18i have so much to say on the topic but
0:38:22also have this show about the junkyard
0:38:24that i'm working on when there's a lot
0:38:27to do ever so many rules i mean the
0:38:30volumes if it would just be what it
0:38:33could be kind of like the 33 and a third
0:38:34series of little books I was always
0:38:37thinking something similar yes it's
0:38:38bigger than a pamphlet but that the
0:38:40shorter than a novel
0:38:41yeah we're that it's just a series of
0:38:42series of rulebooks how to behave at the
0:38:46junkyard how to behave backstage at a
0:38:49concert where you are not actually a
0:38:52friend of anybody in the band but
0:38:54somehow got backstage all you know I I
0:38:58gotta tell ya I I think something like
0:39:00this could be super-strong I think of a
0:39:01book i mention this before but it's a
0:39:03book that I adored in in college because
0:39:06you know I'm an almanac i am a book of
0:39:08lists Kyle of these books of of trivia
0:39:10and rules of thumb and all those kinds
0:39:12of things actually was wonderful series
0:39:14of books called rules of thumb that were
0:39:15just fantastic like you know you can
0:39:18calculate how long you gonna wait in
0:39:19line at the bank take the number of
0:39:20people x 3.5 or whatever like how to
0:39:22pick a line all that kind of stuff but
0:39:24there's one called the modern man's
0:39:26guide to life which is not quite as
0:39:27Mookie as it sounds but it was full of
0:39:29advice that people have written into
0:39:31this guy about how to do different stuff
0:39:33and none of them would achieve you know
0:39:36would rise to the level of meeting a
0:39:38chapter but they would be collected into
0:39:40like you know the
0:39:42different different kinds like you know
0:39:43how to how to not look like a doofus in
0:39:45a restaurant like I do all the stuff you
0:39:47know how to how to basically fix your
0:39:48car this kind of stuff I think something
0:39:50like that John Waters guide to life
0:39:51it's friendly feeling better title could
0:39:53be extremely useful
0:39:55thank you so much i'm gonna just start
0:39:57writing it down right down the kinds of
0:39:58things you want to collect and then
0:40:00start uh you know gleaning the tips of
0:40:03the tips late getting tips for my
0:40:07podcast avoid saying things like
0:40:08cleaning the tips how do you how do you
0:40:11get a tow truck driver in Missouri to
0:40:13let you ride in the cab
0:40:14ok it could be better it was a visit
0:40:16just extremely specific to you how do
0:40:19you mean there's so much how to help
0:40:22Gary remember that you've met yeah how
0:40:25do you get if you if you are a Mayan
0:40:27ruin and you want to go into the part
0:40:30that's that's fenced-off who do you talk
0:40:33to Tommy a lot of these things I mean
0:40:36one of my favorites I can't do this but
0:40:38i love that you can do this is is your
0:40:40whole thing of like you know if you
0:40:41wanna walk in somewhere walk in like you
0:40:43own the place
0:40:44yeah nobody nobody asked you just walk
0:40:46right in no they're sooo me on the place
0:40:48and then this also gives you lots of
0:40:50opportunities to tell anecdotes right
0:40:53well and you know what the thing of
0:40:55course when you're young is that one of
0:40:57the best anecdotes is getting thrown out
0:40:59of a place when you get a little bit
0:41:02older
0:41:03it's it you know it's it's a lot harder
0:41:07for me to get thrown out of a place now
0:41:08because I kinda do look like I should
0:41:11own the place and to get unceremoniously
0:41:15booted out of a place that you look like
0:41:17you should own it just you know I have
0:41:21to dust off my hat because that you know
0:41:23the guy throw out and throw your hat in
0:41:25the street
0:41:27yeah just optimization until you feel
0:41:28your hand at I'd pick your pardon sir I
0:41:32am as God made me sir
0:41:35so I mean yeah you want to dim sum and
0:41:38then we added we are our regular dim
0:41:40summit where it was decided I was not
0:41:47you and Jason Jason and I meet with two
0:41:51other friends Cal McAllister who owns an
0:41:53advertising agency called
0:41:55the WAGs Lee school for girls uh-huh and
0:41:59Matt Dresner who owns an advertising /
0:42:01PR agency
0:42:03oh man this is your extended marketing
0:42:05team I've been hearing about this
0:42:07because it's really you get all the
0:42:08terrible ideas for stuff you should be
0:42:09doing this is the team and the team's
0:42:11decision today we're not meeting but its
0:42:13people the decision of the team today
0:42:17was like more of an old man and its
0:42:22people here there is some kind of way I
0:42:25might be able to promote my twitter feed
0:42:27minutes here by advertising agency
0:42:30friends and they're trying to they're
0:42:32trying to expand my social media
0:42:34recharge sure yeah but the decision was
0:42:37listen we should just figure out how to
0:42:39be multi millionaires and the and the
0:42:43best anecdote was a cow
0:42:45one of one of his close friends from
0:42:47high school is the king of the yard pool
0:42:52of the yard pool
0:42:55yeah if you want to if you want a little
0:42:56pond in your yard who he started out
0:43:03this guy started outputting pawns in
0:43:05people's yards like a lot of people like
0:43:08a lot of pond guys start out all your
0:43:10residential consumer ponds yeah you
0:43:13start are probably working for a guy
0:43:14that's installing ponds and then you you
0:43:16build up a little nest egg and then you
0:43:18start your own pond installation company
0:43:21but this guy figured out was you know
0:43:26when you want in the words of Mark Twain
0:43:28when there's a gold rush he sell
0:43:30pickaxes uh-huh right so he's out there
0:43:34putting in ponds and he's looking up the
0:43:37chain at the guy who's making the ponds
0:43:40who's making huh
0:43:42the pond equipment and he says this
0:43:45guy's not this you know this guy's not
0:43:47moving refrigerators he's not installing
0:43:49color TVs that's all you do it that's
0:43:52the way you do it he said by the counter
0:43:54somewhere fulfilling pond parte orders
0:43:57and so this friend of Calvin callisters
0:44:00he systematize 'as the pond business
0:44:04vertical integration
0:44:06the phone so now he's not installing 500
0:44:08pounds in the summer he's selling 50,000
0:44:11blows 50,000 ponds all across America to
0:44:14people all the part of people have to go
0:44:18through any move up on food chain
0:44:20that's right he became the BP camp on
0:44:22man and so when I have a friend i have a
0:44:26friend in seattle figure this out to we
0:44:28legalized weed here
0:44:30uh-huh and everybody was going to rest
0:44:33everything all shit I better gotta be I
0:44:35got a warehouse i gotta start growing
0:44:36weed I gotta start selling weed I gotta
0:44:39get in this weed business in on the
0:44:41ground floor but I've got a pal who went
0:44:44to China and figured out the weed
0:44:51appliance the weed delivery appliance
0:44:56that was going to be the industry
0:45:00standard and then he cornered the market
0:45:04on the weed delivery appliance so he
0:45:07never has to touch a weed talking about
0:45:10like 44 consumer to get into their
0:45:11system
0:45:12yeah i'm talking about a of the vaping
0:45:15oh right gear right let's see that would
0:45:18that the weed people are going to put
0:45:21the weed into who never grow anything
0:45:24that's right it's some kind of you know
0:45:26it's some kind of like yeah yeah it's
0:45:28like it looks like yeah that's where you
0:45:30get the more intensified you're not like
0:45:32really sucking on it like there's a
0:45:33whole what I think there's a name for
0:45:34this it's like vaping before we do they
0:45:36call it
0:45:36yeah I don't know some kind of Jabba the
0:45:38Hutt technology you have seen people use
0:45:41it on and I remember when they're
0:45:43talking about what whether there should
0:45:44be legal weed I gasps maybe the early
0:45:472000s there is one go-to woman they
0:45:49would always interview in California and
0:45:51if you imagine like last week we don't
0:45:53call them go tues and we're gonna hit
0:45:55from another time but you're like a big
0:45:57bag new york times sunday New York Times
0:45:59comes in
0:46:00yeah she looked like she was doing
0:46:02something with filling that bag with
0:46:03smoke and then and it was really
0:46:05disturbing to watch her use it but but
0:46:07then you get you get big hit of the weed
0:46:08yeah that might be you might be that
0:46:12might be something else that might that
0:46:14might be
0:46:15you know we used to cut the bottom of a
0:46:16milk carton and stick it in a sink full
0:46:18of water
0:46:18I is your time was that can make a bong
0:46:20out anything or paste
0:46:22well we need to be a hobby of ours you
0:46:24keep iPod to pretty much anything and I
0:46:26don't like things from mcdonalds the
0:46:28children would get his toys
0:46:29what the hell good is that skill now I
0:46:32know I know tears and rain so this guy
0:46:33goes in part of his strategy that is not
0:46:35just doesn't want to be pushing we see
0:46:37also he wants to go and get exclusive
0:46:39deals with if I could say Chinese makers
0:46:41of the wii delivery system
0:46:43selena is that nobody else to get
0:46:45exclusive deal
0:46:46he's got he's got the Northwestern's got
0:46:48the pnw district locked in
0:46:50well yeah he's provided the technology
0:46:53so all these guys that are like oh man i
0:46:55sold a thousand weeds
0:46:57yeah he's like I saw a hundred thousand
0:47:00we'd pellets or weed weed you know
0:47:05pressurized we've rods and I mean it's
0:47:11money in the bank this guy and he never
0:47:13touched you never have to touch a weed
0:47:14although i think he likes it but I had a
0:47:17friend in college
0:47:18who's big idea was he was going to make
0:47:20bombs out of two cans and like stuff
0:47:24like out of a like a like a school can
0:47:26so at the time we were all I don't know
0:47:29about I don't know about y'all down down
0:47:31and had the new college in Florida yeah
0:47:33but up in the northwest we were all
0:47:36chewing tobacco all the time didn't we
0:47:38were different stuff there and so we all
0:47:40had we all in Copenhagen cans in our
0:47:43back pockets creating very appealing
0:47:46rings in our genes and my friend he took
0:47:51that you can and he made a he made a
0:47:54hole-in-one side on the run the rim on
0:47:58the edge right a hole and then 90
0:48:02degrees around the circle he made
0:48:04another hole and then he had a stem with
0:48:09a bowl that fit inside one of the holes
0:48:12its appellate it's super good and then
0:48:15if you filled the toucan one-third full
0:48:19of water
0:48:20God and then put the lid on it it was it
0:48:24was it was watertight ok and then you
0:48:27turn the king
0:48:28and at an angle and put your mouth over
0:48:31the one hole and the bowl was in the
0:48:34other hole and it's a fully functional
0:48:36ball if the pit and and he and he
0:48:40honestly was like I'm gonna make I'm
0:48:42gonna make a million dollars i'm gonna
0:48:44summon them because then when the thing
0:48:46is when you when you want to break it
0:48:49down you just dump the water out take
0:48:51the stem out stick it in the toucan and
0:48:54stick that you can you too can circle in
0:48:57your jeans you can second that your
0:48:59chick gets them it should if he had
0:49:02called the juke it's it would be a
0:49:05billionaire and Sam come on this is just
0:49:10sent you a link this idea has been
0:49:12colonized what I just look at the tip
0:49:14can bong
0:49:16oh my god if I see a picture of my
0:49:18friend i am going to lose my shit well
0:49:20there's a lot of there's a lot there's a
0:49:22lot of a lot of variance here still not
0:49:25entirely sure why you would want to do
0:49:28this but ah alright not sure why you
0:49:31would want to do it because of being has
0:49:32been that's American ingenuity at the
0:49:34heart of its etsy for weed yet the bomb
0:49:37is just the partners with you oh my god
0:49:38you can't boring there's hundreds of
0:49:40them to get so while that one look at
0:49:46that handsome let's get runs USB well
0:49:48this guy's gotta this guy's got some
0:49:50kind of holster for it
0:49:51yeah looks like he's got so i guess
0:49:53because utility kilt oh well camouflaged
0:49:55on so people won't be able to see it so
0:49:57this is called oh it's called the AK
0:49:59files i thought it was that meant the
0:50:01Alaska files but then i click on it and
0:50:03it's a it's a website for people who
0:50:06have ak-47 oh I see here's one made out
0:50:09of a heinz ketchup bottle
0:50:11alright my goodness just strange images
0:50:14John so this guy so he's a heavyset guy
0:50:16he's blacked out his eyes he's cradling
0:50:20an ak-47 he's wearing a stripy sort of
0:50:24French or Russian commando shirt
0:50:27uh-huh and I gotta see this he's got a
0:50:30toucan hipster Jennings comes calling it
0:50:36a towel AK files IC tactical tobacco
0:50:40patch
0:50:40oh IC thats I get it it's a bedside it's
0:50:44got that it's got a non-call velcro
0:50:46anymore it's got the clove hitch or
0:50:49whatever it's called that little hook
0:50:51and loop the loop tactical hook-and-loop
0:50:53look at that is a lie
0:50:56this led this is a richer subculture
0:50:57then I realized I instinctively don't
0:50:59like that guy just because
0:51:00come on yeah yeah there's just there's
0:51:03something at the level whatever it is
0:51:06that a person enjoys there's always the
0:51:08desire to complicated
0:51:09mm it's like drinking games oh yeah yeah
0:51:13but even like with drinking games where
0:51:14it's like really like you kind of have a
0:51:16game to drink
0:51:17yeah you know in this case you gotta
0:51:18have a good have a pouch for everything
0:51:20some people love to be organized they
0:51:22have people are bored yet you know you
0:51:24know in all honesty I'm gonna tell you
0:51:25I'm gonna tell you a little story
0:51:26ok last night i was cleaning house
0:51:29cleaning a room in my house that hadn't
0:51:31been cleaned in a long time and I was
0:51:33having some i was getting some help
0:51:35getting some help cleaning the room
0:51:37because I was not able to do it myself
0:51:39because this was the room of stories
0:51:42oh my goodness yeah and so the room of
0:51:48stories it's very hard for me to clean
0:51:50it i can clean other rooms in the house
0:51:51but the room stories it's hard because
0:51:53you have everything you pick up as a
0:51:55very long story attached to it and I
0:51:58don't want to throw it away because then
0:52:01you throw the story away but anytime I
0:52:04ask somebody to help me they end up
0:52:07sitting on the floor while I tell them
0:52:08stories about things and the room
0:52:11doesn't get cleaned yeah and so I had a
0:52:13I had a friend helping me clean the room
0:52:16and she was very unsympathetic which is
0:52:21what was needed
0:52:22yeah but i had to say to her like listen
0:52:24you have to be somewhat sympathetic
0:52:27because you know these stories they they
0:52:32all matter and at one point she picked
0:52:35up a pouch which was a tactical velcro
0:52:39hook and hook and bead pouch which I
0:52:46actually got from you i was doing the
0:52:50flying on it
0:52:51nope it's a pouch that was designed to
0:52:56go on the strap of a messenger bag right
0:52:59so already it's it's like bike messenger
0:53:03connected and it i believe it was for an
0:53:08ipod or maybe an early iteration of a
0:53:12phone
0:53:13yeah it was i'm pretty sure I know what
0:53:14it's for it was for you can put your
0:53:16candy bar phone in this velcro holder
0:53:19and it had the velcro wouldn't go around
0:53:22you like your turn back to strap that's
0:53:24right you can access access your phone
0:53:26it was Timbuktu branded and she said
0:53:30what does this does this does this fit
0:53:32your phone and I was like no she's also
0:53:34but that's gotta be good for something
0:53:36she's well because that's exactly what i
0:53:37said and she said doesn't fit any item
0:53:40that you currently have and I said no no
0:53:42but it's that that's not what matters
0:53:44it's a bit of perfectly great little
0:53:46pouch you could put matches in it at
0:53:48udcc I've I could say and nothing I
0:53:51don't not sure you're talking about here
0:53:52but whoever that person is an
0:53:53understanding that may have been
0:53:55designed have a nokia phone in it but
0:53:57that doesn't mean you gotta quit fucking
0:53:58nokia phone and now there could be there
0:54:00could be 1500 paper clips in there you
0:54:02could put talking about the popcorn
0:54:05popcorn in there
0:54:06thank you could put popcorn in there
0:54:07that is not a thing I thought the
0:54:09popcorn hold but I could should have
0:54:10said that you could put a bunch of short
0:54:13pens are you can you can have a handbook
0:54:18space but it's a handful of space but
0:54:20right before conference you can have
0:54:23space pens made that you give out to
0:54:24people you see myself well I don't want
0:54:26to dig in my bag everything i want to
0:54:27give away a band I got emotional about i
0:54:29have apart from everybody and even one
0:54:31hand sanitizer in there you could fill
0:54:33it with it you can fill it with a with
0:54:36like a conditioner you can put coffee
0:54:41beans in their members great so so I so
0:54:45I'm fighting her on this Timbuktu strap
0:54:48a tactical strap holder like you know a
0:54:52toothpick candle holder and she said she
0:54:56gave me this look the stern look the
0:54:58unsympathetic look and she said
0:54:59seriously gonna fight me over this thing
0:55:01and I was like no and she said good and
0:55:08she put it in the go to the thrift store
0:55:11bag huh
0:55:13and I was like okay I mean that is a
0:55:17time sometime i agree but seriously that
0:55:19is a perfectly good tactical pouch and
0:55:23then the next thing she held up was a
0:55:25piece of green string and it was a it's
0:55:32a beautiful piece of green string that I
0:55:34have been keeping around because I knew
0:55:37it was a special piece of string and I
0:55:39knew that it was going to be useful i
0:55:43haven't yet figured out how it's going
0:55:44to be useful but it was definitely going
0:55:46to be useful and I realized that she was
0:55:49holding it up that I had been carrying
0:55:50it with me for 23 years and that every
0:55:54time I pulled it out of something I was
0:55:55like this is killer string it was about
0:55:58one foot long and then and the thing is
0:56:04it's just a piece of string so I would
0:56:05move it whenever I would be cleaning out
0:56:07earlier box i would just move the string
0:56:09to the new box because it seemed crazy
0:56:11to throw away this incredible one foot
0:56:14length of string and she was likes and
0:56:18again she came into like seriously this
0:56:20yeah i mean before I even protested she
0:56:22was like what is this even in both of
0:56:24these cases also there's not particular
0:56:26stories associated with these but but
0:56:28there is to you obvious utility in these
0:56:30magical potential potential utility
0:56:32potential utility there was always going
0:56:34to be a moment when I was like cut out
0:56:35you know what I need one foot of really
0:56:38awesome green string or six inches twice
0:56:40or six inches twice of green string but
0:56:43but string that has to be spent it has
0:56:45big string that has a kind of special
0:56:47some mad magnitude Trapattoni gift for a
0:56:52mouse
0:56:53well that is exactly one of the things
0:56:54that I thought of but in any case she's
0:56:56holding up the string and I I so I had
0:56:58already acquiesced to the timbuk2 pouch
0:57:02going in the thrift store thing but the
0:57:04string was a bridge too far and i took
0:57:05the string and I just hiding string
0:57:08saving I tied it around my wrist wrapped
0:57:12it around twice tied it with a job he
0:57:15not
0:57:15and I said look it is now it is
0:57:19decorative and I'm not somebody who
0:57:21wears a lot of adornment but now i have
0:57:25so today i have this spectacular i think
0:57:29green sort of rope risks a but it's like
0:57:36a personal Kabbalah thing because
0:57:38without men like Madonna bracelet
0:57:40exactly well well isn't she the one who
0:57:43made the Kabbalah bracelet popular for
0:57:45you to everybody's wearing string this
0:57:46is the problem the next thing that Jason
0:57:48Finn says to me after he notices that
0:57:50i'm wearing a t-shirt because he says
0:57:53what's with the coldplay bracelet haha
0:57:56oh my effing getting it from all sides
0:58:01here I the string has been with me for
0:58:0423 years and now i'm rocking it i think
0:58:07pretty well I think it's like it's
0:58:10pretty jazzy but the thing is you're
0:58:12like somebody like think about all the
0:58:13things you just in this visit of ours
0:58:15alone talking about being able to tell
0:58:17the stories and feel the past of the
0:58:19cars right you think about the way that
0:58:22those startups out there are pulling the
0:58:23memories out of old men's clothes you
0:58:25look at the string and you see a story
0:58:27you like somebody named night Shyamalan
0:58:29movie like you're seeing stuff that
0:58:30other people can't see it's not because
0:58:32you're hallucinating
0:58:32it's because they did they don't have
0:58:34the sensitivity to the vibrations that
0:58:36you use the right you see what these
0:58:38objects are putting out there and
0:58:39they're just walking past going what
0:58:40really string think you're like yeah
0:58:42string they do not make string like this
0:58:44anymore if you went out like if you went
0:58:47to a store that said just if there was
0:58:48called just strength is probably a store
0:58:50in Portland
0:58:51I bet you there isn't it well or it's
0:58:53that's the type of straws string string
0:58:55along particles positively string strung
0:58:59out and they have artisanal stretch
0:59:03yeah it's also the type of store that
0:59:06would be on the Main Street about
0:59:08otherwise failing town haha alright
0:59:11alright like it like it would be inside
0:59:14the inside the former Tandy radio shack
0:59:16that be a place called like strings and
0:59:19things and you go in there and it's
0:59:24every kind of strength maybe the maybe
0:59:27the gal and I'm
0:59:29i'm pretty sure it's a gal who's running
0:59:31strings and things in downtown full of
0:59:35cats down everything is your batty the
0:59:37stripping yeah i bet you if i went in
0:59:40there with this string and said can you
0:59:42duplicate this string she would first of
0:59:45all she would take a moment and be like
0:59:48she got a loop but that's a little
0:59:51jewelers live ya should get out she'd be
0:59:53like that's incredible i haven't seen
0:59:55string like that since the eighties
0:59:56replicating the string it is not
0:59:58possible because she would go
0:59:58possible because she would go
1:00:00back in the back and she bring some
1:00:01string out you're crashing sheep yeah
1:00:03that's right she'll be back there for 20
1:00:04minutes should come out and she'd have a
1:00:06really apologetic look on her face and
1:00:08she'd say this is as close as I get but
1:00:11it just wouldn't have the hefty just
1:00:12three inches of light green jute yeah
1:00:15exactly it wouldn't it wouldn't have the
1:00:16it wouldn't have the waft or the the for
1:00:20the Wolves mm and and we would both
1:00:23agree
1:00:24no in fact that isn't it and I would
1:00:28walk out of there with the string that I
1:00:30have the string that I came in with you
1:00:32know what I mean
1:00:33and I'd be like that's right my-my to
1:00:36Mike my foot foot foot and it's
1:00:38basically a foot 12 inches of great
1:00:40strain and and no one can no one can
1:00:44take it from so glad you saved it i did
1:00:47get I did I did allow for a lot of
1:00:50things to get thrown away Bell what
1:00:52would you get money ask what were some
1:00:54like you know pound-for-pound for some
1:00:56relatively easy ones to let go of
1:00:57everything we're like that
1:01:00I'm glad somebody brought it up well
1:01:03there are two two things stick out one
1:01:06of them was about 15 years ago I took I
1:01:10took a correspondence geology course and
1:01:14i really enjoyed it and the way that you
1:01:18either way that you did the course was
1:01:20you you know you did your homework
1:01:21mailed it into the professor and the
1:01:24professor corrected it and mailed it
1:01:25back to you kidding me
1:01:28we said correspondence course about you
1:01:30it really hit literally sent in the mail
1:01:32that mailed it in an envelope to hide
1:01:35was a long time ago and so I I carried
1:01:42on this correspondence course and i
1:01:44really enjoyed the studying and I
1:01:45enjoyed the geology and I enjoyed the
1:01:47homework but when and everything was
1:01:51that that you would send the the the
1:01:54homework in and also sending a
1:01:56self-addressed stamped envelope
1:01:59so the professor would send them the
1:02:01homework back in an envelope which had
1:02:05your handwriting on it
1:02:07I remember the East always feel so weird
1:02:08to get a letter in my own handwriting ya
1:02:12self addressed stamped is when you can't
1:02:14remember what it was for right even
1:02:17weirder right when they're gone for a
1:02:19long time and then you're like you just
1:02:20get the self-addressed stamped envelope
1:02:21thanks so much anymore but that used to
1:02:23be a thing if you want free stuff it
1:02:24tells me some stickers or get our
1:02:26catalog or something like that or you
1:02:28know and it must be so weird to get mail
1:02:30and it was like a folded-up envelope
1:02:32with your own handwriting on it was
1:02:33super creepy
1:02:34yep so I got all the homework
1:02:37assignments back but I never opened the
1:02:40envelopes and now now that I've said it
1:02:43a couple of times i don't know whether
1:02:44to pronounce that envelope envelope also
1:02:46i'm gonna go with envelope from here on
1:02:48out they were envelopes to begin with
1:02:50but now their envelopes so but i but i
1:02:54enjoyed the class so much that it wasn't
1:02:55like I wanted to throw them away i just
1:02:57didn't I didn't care what I didn't care
1:03:00about the grade i didn't care about the
1:03:03you know I just never opened them but i
1:03:05kept them so i had 10 or 12 pretty thick
1:03:10envelopes it in my own handwriting that
1:03:14I knew had an entire class of geology in
1:03:18it and I couldn't and now it was 15
1:03:22years old I couldn't bring myself to
1:03:24throw it away and my unsentimental
1:03:28friend was like again I mean she really
1:03:31only needed one look which was seriously
1:03:34see that it's sort of like not clean out
1:03:37your couch all the way I don't want to
1:03:38leave something oh please tell me you
1:03:41open at least one of them so I so I was
1:03:43like all right and the thing is my job
1:03:45at the at this at this point in the
1:03:47cleaning had become just sit in a chair
1:03:49and things end up in my lap and I'm
1:03:51telling the story of them and she's
1:03:53ignoring me and and you know figuring
1:03:55stuff out but so I opened up the first
1:03:57one and here's this geology homework
1:04:00from 15 years ago and there's red
1:04:05teacher marks all over it from a teacher
1:04:09that I had never met
1:04:12saying great job really interesting read
1:04:17you know really interesting uh idea or
1:04:21whatever because I you know it was like
1:04:22I was I was expanding on it wasn't just
1:04:26like is this shifter what it was like I
1:04:28was talking about a geological ideas and
1:04:33so then I opened another one and hear
1:04:35all these red marks from this teacher
1:04:37where she's like John I really thought
1:04:39that this was you know great job and
1:04:41this is you know in here a couple more
1:04:42things to think about and so then I'm
1:04:44opening all the envelopes and I had been
1:04:47having this whole conversation with this
1:04:50teacher but I wasn't aware of it because
1:04:52I never opened the envelopes and by the
1:04:53end of the class she was writing all
1:04:56these long red remarks like you know
1:04:59what a pleasure having you in the class
1:05:00you know this you didn't you know
1:05:02exceptional work throughout and this is
1:05:04clearly an a paper at every level and
1:05:06and you know and at one point she was
1:05:09like I'm from Alaska to and started on
1:05:11my Kaiser never even knew never knew huh
1:05:16and this has just been sort of sitting
1:05:18there on my you know on it really
1:05:23actually on top of a dresser in the room
1:05:26of stories for all this time and you
1:05:32know now i feel like i should look her
1:05:35up
1:05:36uh we had we had a really great
1:05:39conversation going and I was
1:05:42communicating exclusively in geology
1:05:46homework but she was you know sending me
1:05:50all this sort of flank personal chatty
1:05:53professor stuff my goodness and it was
1:05:57really it was pretty heavy and so I got
1:06:00to the last assignment which was the
1:06:03final paper which I barely remember
1:06:05writing it's like a 15 page paper on the
1:06:11island of Santorini and it's covered in
1:06:18her remarks and I was like all right you
1:06:20know what I can throw away all of these
1:06:23you know all these worksheets and all of
1:06:29these maps and all of this all of this
1:06:31colored pencil stuff I can throw it all
1:06:34away but i'm not going to be able to
1:06:36throw away this final paper with all of
1:06:37these personal remarks on it and so my
1:06:42unsentimental friend had provided for me
1:06:44by this time a multi pocket file folder
1:06:48which the truly on on a colorable items
1:06:56could could go in and be safely stored
1:06:58and so it found it found its own slot in
1:07:03the bag and feel good about that i think
1:07:09i can live with it
1:07:10I mean I feel like I you know like 12
1:07:15envelopes gone but the but the report
1:07:18got saved and strength that let you have
1:07:22that strength and the string got saved
1:07:24now that the one the final thing that
1:07:26I'm really torn about you have time for
1:07:30this
1:07:31yeah you have somewhere else to be in
1:07:34fifth grade I liked downhill skiing
1:07:38quite a bit and my dad liked to downhill
1:07:41ski on the two of us were that we bonded
1:07:43a lot over downhill skiing and in fifth
1:07:46grade there was some sort of pottery
1:07:49module that came through our class where
1:07:53we were all making we were too old to
1:07:55make handprints in a circle of clay we
1:07:59were we were to the next level to make
1:08:01pencil holders or something
1:08:03do you remember making anything in the
1:08:05pottery yeah I remember making ashtrays
1:08:07master you can make a straight and later
1:08:08on you make a pipe when you're in
1:08:09college
1:08:10exactly ok so i'm sure a lot of my
1:08:13favorite it all comes back to marijuana
1:08:15does it does it eventually you're going
1:08:18to make a bomb but now it's funny I mean
1:08:19like you there was a lot of funny how
1:08:21much ashtray making there was when we
1:08:24were kids
1:08:25yeah just something with a Sunday school
1:08:26or or regular school or whatever it was
1:08:29you gotten past hand and footprints and
1:08:31you may be worn up the pencil holder you
1:08:32could at least make a rudimentary a
1:08:34place for your mom dad put
1:08:36instance yeah and and nobody in my
1:08:38family smokes
1:08:40by the time i was in fifth grade and so
1:08:41I had no I had no astray to make and so
1:08:44what I made was a little not little
1:08:48actually it's about the size of a
1:08:49paperback book and I wrote the word ski
1:08:54in clay on a clay square and I painted
1:09:05it and i fired it and I gave it to my
1:09:10dad
1:09:10huh and my dad put it up on the top of
1:09:14his kitchen cupboard and it was there
1:09:18and it moved with him and it went with
1:09:21him all the way everywhere he went
1:09:24and then when he died I inherited again
1:09:28and I put it in the room of stories upon
1:09:34on the top of the shelf and so I'm
1:09:38cleaning the room stories and my
1:09:40unsentimental friend picks this thing up
1:09:42and without even batting an eye
1:09:47cox her arm as though to throw it
1:09:52she's not even looking at me for
1:09:53approval she cocked her arm to throw
1:09:55this thing in the thrift store bag and I
1:10:02was like wait a minute and I tell her
1:10:06the story and she's just rolling her
1:10:09eyes and she says what good is it was
1:10:14like it never occurred to me it's not
1:10:19good for anything and she was like is it
1:10:22beautiful and I looked at it for the
1:10:25first time I had never really seen it
1:10:28before this moment and I realized that
1:10:32it was a piece of shit that I had and I
1:10:36was embarrassed that in fifth grade I
1:10:39mean in fifth grade there are children
1:10:40who can play the cello there are
1:10:44children who have played the cello for
1:10:46the President of the United States of
1:10:47America
1:10:48yeah in fifth grade spelling bee winners
1:10:53jugglers kids that have survived famines
1:11:00and i made this little shite thing
1:11:03that's not even an ashtray
1:11:05it's just a nothing it's just a shite I
1:11:10it's not even square
1:11:12I didn't even I didn't I wasn't even
1:11:14careful enough to square the edges
1:11:16it's like it's just a piece of shit and
1:11:23i was astonished to discover that this
1:11:26thing that had been with me my whole
1:11:28life it always peered down at me from
1:11:30some top shelf somewhere was just a hunk
1:11:34of garbage if if it went into the thrift
1:11:36store bag it would go through the thrift
1:11:37store and a good price that was at one
1:11:40cent and it would sit there on the shelf
1:11:44until somebody knocked it off and broke
1:11:45no one would mourn it
1:11:47uh-huh and yet I could not allow it to
1:11:53go and now what what does that say
1:11:57Marlon I i know that's I don't say that
1:12:04that's super-complicated and there's a
1:12:06lot of angles to that one and the ending
1:12:09you shovel on me with the ending that
1:12:11was quite a twist again because it
1:12:12sounds like as you look at it it had
1:12:15accumulated the value of being something
1:12:17your father hadn't hung onto through his
1:12:19life but as you look at it you didn't
1:12:20feel like it was anything super special
1:12:23i mean he he put it up on top of the
1:12:28Shelf because his son made it and but he
1:12:32couldn't possibly have been proud
1:12:34because the first time he saw it he must
1:12:38have looked at it and said oh shit now i
1:12:41have to carry this with me it's not
1:12:45useful
1:12:46it's not decorative it right just it's
1:12:49just shit it's just a piece of garbage
1:12:53yeah I don't over complicate this it was
1:12:55gone
1:12:56well no I so i put it so that was one of
1:12:59the few things that got put into
1:13:02so into the limbo state into the into
1:13:04the between universes place which is
1:13:09like balanced on the corner of a table
1:13:11everyone who walks into the room has to
1:13:16look around and say wow the room looks
1:13:18great
1:13:19you clean up the room story is amazing
1:13:20and then their eyes will fall upon this
1:13:23ski sign
1:13:25alright well not exactly one thought on
1:13:28this this is not to try as much because
1:13:31i want to share this story but this is
1:13:33not to persuade you to keep it because
1:13:34it sounds like you probably don't need
1:13:35to maybe take a photo of it and that
1:13:37would be enough
1:13:38that's something that's what i did with
1:13:39a lot of my stuff that I had trouble
1:13:41getting rid of during one of our big
1:13:42purchase with photograph anything i
1:13:43wanted to keep the memory of but i have
1:13:47to say excuse me that one aspect of this
1:13:50is complicated is that the fact that
1:13:52it's fucked up an ugly and old and
1:13:54stupid becomes part of the charm to me
1:13:57and I you know you're little you know
1:14:01and think just because you were shitty
1:14:03at it doesn't make it not valuable on
1:14:05its own and Ally mention this because
1:14:07this one time when I was 10
1:14:10maybe probably four or five it's
1:14:12whatever i was still playing with
1:14:13play-doh and would have had a disney
1:14:15related Plato set and I made the world's
1:14:18shittiest snow white out of a single
1:14:21piece of red play-doh for my grandmother
1:14:24it was super ugly and super dumb but all
1:14:27I mean it took me what who cares a
1:14:28little kid I you know it just it was
1:14:30just a dumb thing I made it I was at
1:14:32their house i made this I gave it to her
1:14:34she was thrilled with it and she put it
1:14:36on the mantel right so this is probably
1:14:38not making maybe nineteen seventy one or
1:14:40two maybe she put it up there and she
1:14:42kept it there and it and it got old and
1:14:45stupid like Plato is not made to be kept
1:14:47over a fireplace for many years and it
1:14:49got kind of whitish and over the years
1:14:51she had to insert needles in it to like
1:14:53make it hold the head on and it was it
1:14:55was just the most ugly and dreadful
1:14:57crumbling thing you've ever seen in your
1:14:58life
1:14:59of course by the time she passed away in
1:15:001987 it was it was truly awful but you
1:15:03know at that point it had been up there
1:15:05for whatever 15 years and yeah we did we
1:15:09threw it away but it was quite a moment
1:15:11for me to realize my grandmother had
1:15:13kept that
1:15:14I was really young and as ugly and
1:15:16stupid as broken as it was it still made
1:15:19me remember her well but I didn't feel
1:15:20like I needed to keep the broken snow
1:15:22white but it was a nice memory for me so
1:15:24you know I think you can let the ski
1:15:26thing go let it go but you can still
1:15:27appreciate just because you don't have
1:15:28that in your hand anymore doesn't mean
1:15:30that you don't appreciate your dad and
1:15:31the fact that he kept because of you I
1:15:34think that that's a perfectly sane kind
1:15:37of sentimentality to have it doesn't
1:15:39mean you have to keep every piece of
1:15:40that could you let him in your heart
1:15:41even if you don't have ski on your shelf
1:15:44yeah yeah my you know my dad didn't have
1:15:50very good taste either he might actually
1:15:52thought it was good
1:15:56so many twists