Roderick on the Line

Ep. 162: "April's Cream"


00:00:00   I'm Merlin night John how are you I'm [TS]

00:00:09   doing great man how's it going pretty [TS]

00:00:11   good tale me somethin John around uh [TS]

00:00:17   let's see something John that you like [TS]

00:00:20   and where I add some I made some coffee [TS]

00:00:24   mhm and then that this is what will give [TS]

00:00:27   you some sense of where I'm at I I [TS]

00:00:31   looked in the refrigerator and there was [TS]

00:00:32   some cream in there and I grabbed it and [TS]

00:00:36   I knew that there were I knew that there [TS]

00:00:37   was a variety of sort of suspect creams [TS]

00:00:40   in the in the refrigerator [TS]

00:00:42   yeah but it was also possible there's [TS]

00:00:44   been a few people in and out of the [TS]

00:00:45   house is also possible that somebody had [TS]

00:00:47   bought a new cream a new container of [TS]

00:00:50   cream eisenberg uncertainty cream [TS]

00:00:51   yep and so I I grabbed the cream I [TS]

00:00:56   looked at it I read the date and I said [TS]

00:00:59   oh joon one it's almost june yeah right [TS]

00:01:02   and I right on the corner and I put the [TS]

00:01:04   cream in the coffee and then I you know [TS]

00:01:06   was walking around sipping it and if [TS]

00:01:08   there were some floaters but you know [TS]

00:01:09   that what does come on i'm not a guy [TS]

00:01:12   that's gonna throw a cup of coffee way [TS]

00:01:13   just for a couple of floaters and then [TS]

00:01:16   after about 10 minutes I had one of [TS]

00:01:20   those sort of you know the slow delayed [TS]

00:01:22   slit time release the oxycontin of [TS]

00:01:25   thought where I was like jun 10 [TS]

00:01:31   it's almost august our God and then I [TS]

00:01:35   went and looked at the looked at it [TS]

00:01:39   again to confirm that it was june and i [TS]

00:01:41   open it up and I smell the cream and it [TS]

00:01:43   was it did not smell like spoiled milk [TS]

00:01:46   it smelled kind of like pie [TS]

00:01:51   it had moved into some other realm where [TS]

00:01:55   it was or or or maybe it's that at that [TS]

00:01:57   strange phenomenon where we're [TS]

00:01:59   half-and-half doesn't spoil because it's [TS]

00:02:01   like you can only get so spoiled [TS]

00:02:03   yeah right it just means refrigerated [TS]

00:02:05   but it becomes something else it go it [TS]

00:02:08   turns into like it had like a state [TS]

00:02:10   change state change that's right it [TS]

00:02:12   becomes a particulate [TS]

00:02:13   and and so you know what I i made the i [TS]

00:02:17   made the executive decision as executive [TS]

00:02:19   level decision to just go with it so I [TS]

00:02:23   am I still have you know it because I [TS]

00:02:26   drink my coffee out of a half-liter beer [TS]

00:02:28   steins i'm sitting here with the with [TS]

00:02:31   about a quarter of the leader of coffee [TS]

00:02:33   and and um uh what I can only describe [TS]

00:02:36   as April's cream and and we're that's [TS]

00:02:42   that's how I'm starting today [TS]

00:02:43   boom you just get power through it [TS]

00:02:45   myself you know it's a little little [TS]

00:02:49   little saltier it's a little bit you [TS]

00:02:51   know it's got a little go pow [TS]

00:02:53   I coffee yeah I shouldn't say this but [TS]

00:02:56   my coffee apparatus at work at some [TS]

00:02:59   point i guess the last year so stop [TS]

00:03:01   working and I was drinking less coffee [TS]

00:03:03   at work i would have helped bring it in [TS]

00:03:05   a long story short i have a half and [TS]

00:03:09   half in my refrigerator that expired in [TS]

00:03:11   april 2014 [TS]

00:03:13   oh and here's my thought it got to be [TS]

00:03:16   able scream 2015 but you know what it [TS]

00:03:20   maybe this is back to like affections [TS]

00:03:21   for your shirt [TS]

00:03:23   i I didn't throw the guy out I want to [TS]

00:03:25   see how long he can stick around as [TS]

00:03:27   April screams like he's been April [TS]

00:03:29   scream twice now I mean I don't know [TS]

00:03:31   it's sort of like putting a relative in [TS]

00:03:33   a home or something like well you know [TS]

00:03:34   they're they're kinda stinky not very [TS]

00:03:36   useful but you know you get affection [TS]

00:03:38   let me ask you this have you considered [TS]

00:03:39   the cow or cows that produced April [TS]

00:03:43   scream where they are now [TS]

00:03:45   yeah that makes me so sad when I watch a [TS]

00:03:47   movie and I know the dogs dead you know [TS]

00:03:49   boo from France Ubu sit he died in [TS]

00:03:52   nineteen eighty-four really yeah but his [TS]

00:03:54   legacy continues on the loose it [TS]

00:03:56   good boy good dog oh man that is rough [TS]

00:03:59   we got some new coffee technology at the [TS]

00:04:01   house and I'm a mixed feelings about it [TS]

00:04:04   uh how so well you know you know our [TS]

00:04:08   house we have like two plugs in the [TS]

00:04:09   house because it was built in 1904 [TS]

00:04:13   one-electron city was powered by gas in [TS]

00:04:15   1928 was powered by horses and and so we [TS]

00:04:19   don't have a lot and we don't have a lot [TS]

00:04:20   of counter space but my wife in her new [TS]

00:04:23   job has become so taken with the keurig [TS]

00:04:25   k-cup system [TS]

00:04:27   oh it is a system isn't it yeah and I [TS]

00:04:30   was kind of always just against because [TS]

00:04:32   it seemed a little fancy to have a [TS]

00:04:33   single let you know a piece of [TS]

00:04:35   electronics is that big for doing one [TS]

00:04:37   thing that takes up that much space but [TS]

00:04:39   when it got one and takes up a lot of [TS]

00:04:41   space but it's really good [TS]

00:04:43   well as he was wrong though it makes a [TS]

00:04:46   lot of waste like I just don't feel good [TS]

00:04:48   about it but man it's a great cup of [TS]

00:04:50   coffee in less than a minute [TS]

00:04:51   it produces a ton of little used cups [TS]

00:04:55   yeah but a you know what am I mean [TS]

00:04:58   coffee problems is that I you know I was [TS]

00:05:02   made aware several years ago a that [TS]

00:05:04   coffee mold is not just the the major [TS]

00:05:09   mold system that arrives on your coffee [TS]

00:05:13   filter if you don't change it for two [TS]

00:05:15   weeks [TS]

00:05:15   mmm coffee mold is something that is [TS]

00:05:18   that's present in it can be present in [TS]

00:05:22   your coffee without you knowing about it [TS]

00:05:25   like if it's like old beans or ground [TS]

00:05:28   along i ride old beans or be a grind [TS]

00:05:31   that's been sitting around coffee mold [TS]

00:05:32   becomes becomes a presence and you're [TS]

00:05:38   just sort of not you're not conscious of [TS]

00:05:41   it but talk coffee mold is potentially [TS]

00:05:43   bad for you could be toxic who knows but [TS]

00:05:47   I am I'm always fighting a losing losing [TS]

00:05:50   battle up over coffee mold because i [TS]

00:05:54   don't i don't have a regular or [TS]

00:05:57   predictable routine [TS]

00:06:00   obviously this is reflected in your [TS]

00:06:01   April scream exactly i mean you know it [TS]

00:06:04   seems like you would have gone through [TS]

00:06:06   that is like a half gallon or quart what [TS]

00:06:09   is it will see what so here's what [TS]

00:06:11   happens with the cream right there at [TS]

00:06:13   April's cream sometime in June was [TS]

00:06:18   determined by some one else who was [TS]

00:06:22   cycling through my home to be too old [TS]

00:06:27   because meet different people have [TS]

00:06:28   different ideas about how old cream [TS]

00:06:31   should be yeah and if it says expo [TS]

00:06:33   expiration date jun 1 and it's June [TS]

00:06:37   fifteenth well [TS]

00:06:39   up certain slice of the population will [TS]

00:06:42   go ahead and get another one right that [TS]

00:06:44   see this is how they get you John this [TS]

00:06:46   is a used to put expiration dates on [TS]

00:06:48   things and it was an expiration date and [TS]

00:06:50   you would say you you gotta eat the [TS]

00:06:52   salami by december and like that was [TS]

00:06:55   something we could all understand i [TS]

00:06:56   think the sell-by date is all about the [TS]

00:06:58   people who are selling its their [TS]

00:06:59   convenience to head out on their sell it [TS]

00:07:02   by right right but I am somebody who is [TS]

00:07:05   who sees a sell-by date of june one on [TS]

00:07:08   june fifteenth and I feel like right [TS]

00:07:10   where right you know we're right in [TS]

00:07:11   right in the strike zone here [TS]

00:07:14   yeah but you know I I'm not in one [TS]

00:07:18   hundred percent control my environment [TS]

00:07:20   anymore huh [TS]

00:07:22   so another cream appeared in my [TS]

00:07:26   refrigerator and and frankly it was a it [TS]

00:07:28   was a bigger cream and a newer cream and [TS]

00:07:32   it coincided with the time that I was [TS]

00:07:34   out of town so when i arrived back in [TS]

00:07:37   town here's this big new cream [TS]

00:07:40   look you know April's cream is is back [TS]

00:07:43   in there somewhere with the you know the [TS]

00:07:45   half empty container of Greek yogurt and [TS]

00:07:47   three or four different mustards and and [TS]

00:07:51   a box of Armand Hammer baking soda [TS]

00:07:53   that's been there since 2007 and I [TS]

00:07:56   honestly you know I just reach for the [TS]

00:07:58   front cream in that case you know like [TS]

00:08:01   i'm not i'm not so I'm not so like [TS]

00:08:04   managing my my refrigerator contents [TS]

00:08:08   that I'm like listen I'm gonna work my [TS]

00:08:11   way through april screen before i move [TS]

00:08:12   into this June cream o.o understand I'm [TS]

00:08:16   just reaching in grabbing the top cream [TS]

00:08:18   first screen and April scream just got [TS]

00:08:22   pushed back i think there's probably you [TS]

00:08:25   know probably a mustard like migrated in [TS]

00:08:27   front and then it was back to but the [TS]

00:08:29   thing was I what I do manage my [TS]

00:08:30   refrigerator well enough to know it was [TS]

00:08:32   in there [TS]

00:08:33   uh-huh I knew it was there I just wasn't [TS]

00:08:36   you know it like kind of like you I [TS]

00:08:38   wasn't it at any point along the way was [TS]

00:08:40   I ready to say like you know it's time [TS]

00:08:42   to go in and and do the humane thing and [TS]

00:08:46   have April screams go live on a farm [TS]

00:08:48   and so here's what happened right you [TS]

00:08:52   know the the main creams of which there [TS]

00:08:55   have been for probably since then for [TS]

00:08:58   forefront creams all got cycled through [TS]

00:09:01   and then one day April scream just [TS]

00:09:03   popped up [TS]

00:09:05   I don't know how she did it she just you [TS]

00:09:08   know there was some kind of refrigerator [TS]

00:09:10   machination the mustard let their guard [TS]

00:09:13   down for a second april' scream came to [TS]

00:09:15   the fore and masqueraded as a new cream [TS]

00:09:18   huh and now here I am and I don't know [TS]

00:09:21   what's going to happen if i drink this [TS]

00:09:25   cream today I don't know you know this [TS]

00:09:28   is also the top of this is also the [TS]

00:09:29   beginning a blackberry season here huh [TS]

00:09:32   and so as you as you probably know [TS]

00:09:34   blackberries please grow in abundance it [TS]

00:09:37   precisely in all those areas where the [TS]

00:09:40   pollution is the highest i didn't know [TS]

00:09:42   that well it just seems like the only [TS]

00:09:43   the the places where people let [TS]

00:09:45   blackberries run riot are right next to [TS]

00:09:49   the freeway right next to the you know [TS]

00:09:51   right next to the train switching yard [TS]

00:09:54   right next to the where they dump the [TS]

00:09:56   unusable of gas and so you know you're [TS]

00:10:03   always kind of out there in this out [TS]

00:10:04   there on this you pull over to the side [TS]

00:10:06   of the road you're gathering [TS]

00:10:06   blackberries and you're having a [TS]

00:10:08   wonderful time but you're conscious that [TS]

00:10:10   they are covered with if they're all [TS]

00:10:11   covered with the film [TS]

00:10:13   uh-huh ok kind of environmental dander [TS]

00:10:15   mm-hmm [TS]

00:10:17   so you know I've been scarfing [TS]

00:10:19   blackberries 2i x by this afternoon i [TS]

00:10:23   could be in the hospital [TS]

00:10:24   oh good hey I wasn't gonna say anything [TS]

00:10:27   but the the tale that you're weaving [TS]

00:10:30   here involves people scream you've got [TS]

00:10:33   you've got coffee dander you got the [TS]

00:10:34   coffee mold that has performance [TS]

00:10:35   characteristics i don't think we've even [TS]

00:10:37   begun to identify that's right that's [TS]

00:10:38   right it could I could see through time [TS]

00:10:40   if i have enough coffee mold iic now as [TS]

00:10:45   soon as I hear about a new kind of [TS]

00:10:46   dancer the first thing I think about is [TS]

00:10:47   the toxic plasmosis [TS]

00:10:49   mm ok more was the cat poop thing it's [TS]

00:10:52   thing that makes people crazy [TS]

00:10:53   sure you can't you you might remember [TS]

00:10:55   when there was a child on the way you [TS]

00:10:57   start reading lots of things that say be [TS]

00:10:58   careful with the cats because you get [TS]

00:11:00   toxoplasmosis that's really bad [TS]

00:11:01   for babies that are in their mommy's [TS]

00:11:03   tummy yeah we sent the cats to live with [TS]

00:11:05   Aunt Martha when the baby was coming so [TS]

00:11:07   you're not you're not above making a [TS]

00:11:09   hard decision if you know that there's [TS]

00:11:11   that there's a risk my daughters [TS]

00:11:13   Mother's cats were the two most awful [TS]

00:11:16   people I had ever met in my life [TS]

00:11:18   they were one of them at some point as a [TS]

00:11:22   young cat had some cognitive disconnect [TS]

00:11:26   where the cat did not understand what [TS]

00:11:29   hissing the role that hissing performed [TS]

00:11:32   in a normal sort of social milia [TS]

00:11:36   interesting it's a domestic cat it [TS]

00:11:39   doesn't know all the signals uh either [TS]

00:11:41   of being a wildcat or being a [TS]

00:11:43   domesticated cat might have crossed [TS]

00:11:44   wires [TS]

00:11:45   yeah right so the cat I feel like enjoy [TS]

00:11:48   it personally enjoy kissing but hissed [TS]

00:11:52   at inappropriate times fists at people [TS]

00:11:56   that knew well pissed at you know like [TS]

00:12:00   came to you to be petted you pet you pat [TS]

00:12:03   it you petted it and then it hit you and [TS]

00:12:08   then it remained there to be petted more [TS]

00:12:10   so it sounds like half the women I date [TS]

00:12:13   in college hmm but uh but not only that [TS]

00:12:22   but the cat had a you know when it's [TS]

00:12:24   hissing it is it is propelling whiskers [TS]

00:12:28   breath at you yeah you know so it's just [TS]

00:12:31   it's hissing right in your face and it's [TS]

00:12:32   just like the word the inside of this [TS]

00:12:34   it's like inside of a cat smell yet on [TS]

00:12:38   this thing that thing's not flossing [TS]

00:12:40   look [TS]

00:12:41   yeah so that cat was really bad and then [TS]

00:12:43   the other cat I think suffered from [TS]

00:12:45   Kitty malaise all I had a kind of [TS]

00:12:49   feeling on we did it feel light on [TS]

00:12:51   what's so sad John and so that cat [TS]

00:12:54   didn't really care for itself didn't [TS]

00:12:57   have a very high self esteem it didn't [TS]

00:12:59   keep itself up and so the combination of [TS]

00:13:02   these two cats are you know I was just [TS]

00:13:04   like listen these catch [TS]

00:13:06   I mean talk about go live on a farm [TS]

00:13:07   these cats should go live in the sea [TS]

00:13:10   and how she attached to them [TS]

00:13:13   well you know people get attached to me [TS]

00:13:16   that's probably the toxoplasmosis it [TS]

00:13:17   gets into your brain [TS]

00:13:19   yeah well I feel like that's absolutely [TS]

00:13:21   true because there was you know there [TS]

00:13:24   was just cat garbage in the air but also [TS]

00:13:28   you know there's a little bit of [TS]

00:13:29   Stockholm Syndrome happening there where [TS]

00:13:32   you are held captive by these monsters [TS]

00:13:35   and then you start to feel sympathetic [TS]

00:13:36   to them huh yeah he's so nice to me [TS]

00:13:39   yeah oh no he doesn't mean that he just [TS]

00:13:42   blah i'm like the only only reason to [TS]

00:13:46   keep a pet is that that pet is it is a [TS]

00:13:49   companion and a friend to keep a pet who [TS]

00:13:53   clearly wants to die is 22 no one favor [TS]

00:13:58   and so but it turned out that Aunt [TS]

00:14:02   Martha is a cat lover and was able to [TS]

00:14:09   take these two cats and give them a [TS]

00:14:11   happy life where the the the depressed [TS]

00:14:15   cat started grooming itself again and [TS]

00:14:18   the hissing cat I think lived on top of [TS]

00:14:21   the refrigerator and was showered with [TS]

00:14:23   love and at the end [TS]

00:14:25   actually it was a it was a story where [TS]

00:14:27   we're uh it had a happy ending we had a [TS]

00:14:32   baby that did not suffer from [TS]

00:14:33   toxoplasmosis and I never had to see [TS]

00:14:37   those cats again there are numerous [TS]

00:14:41   according to wikipedia notable cases of [TS]

00:14:43   celebrities who have contracted [TS]

00:14:44   toxoplasmosis tell me more gwyneth [TS]

00:14:47   paltrow please check i don't see it here [TS]

00:14:49   its sheep when she's right she's right [TS]

00:14:51   in the sweet spot i would say winter [TS]

00:14:53   thinking that we have seemed like yeah I [TS]

00:14:55   I'm just glancing at this quickly I I [TS]

00:14:57   don't want I don't want to get email [TS]

00:14:59   about this i have heard it said it is [TS]

00:15:01   said by some people [TS]

00:15:02   turns out that this is what causes the [TS]

00:15:04   big the cat lady thing because you know [TS]

00:15:05   like there's a certain kind of like [TS]

00:15:06   super interesting animals that can take [TS]

00:15:08   over another animal and make you crazy [TS]

00:15:09   stuff you know how you can get like a [TS]

00:15:11   zombie and or something like that [TS]

00:15:13   yeah supposedly the story goes out of [TS]

00:15:14   this is exactly toxoplasmosis but part [TS]

00:15:17   of the reason you become like somebody [TS]

00:15:19   who has a lot of attractive cat dander [TS]

00:15:21   in the house is that the toxoplasmosis [TS]

00:15:23   is attacking someone [TS]

00:15:24   of your brain that says hey it's okay [TS]

00:15:25   for all this poop to make more [TS]

00:15:26   toxoplasmosis and then you don't know it [TS]

00:15:29   wow that's heavy was coming from inside [TS]

00:15:31   the cat I see now i want to know how [TS]

00:15:33   often when you say i don't want to get [TS]

00:15:35   emails about this how often does that [TS]

00:15:36   work [TS]

00:15:37   I couldn't go like i can't say i guess [TS]

00:15:39   uh I guess I want to email him i think [TS]

00:15:42   people will talk to plasmosis will send [TS]

00:15:43   a lot of emails i think that's a side [TS]

00:15:45   effect of it [TS]

00:15:46   this is super interesting there's 33 [TS]

00:15:47   prominent athletes that have had Arthur [TS]

00:15:49   Ashe the late great Arthur Ashe had [TS]

00:15:51   toxoplasmosis [TS]

00:15:52   hmm he later he later you know he had [TS]

00:15:54   the AIDS but he developed neurological [TS]

00:15:57   problems from toxoplasmosis with your [TS]

00:15:59   arm [TS]

00:15:59   martina navratilova so it's a tennis [TS]

00:16:02   player this tennis problem or it might [TS]

00:16:03   be it might be Sebastian Coe remember [TS]

00:16:06   the guy who had the had the Union Jack [TS]

00:16:07   on shorts the right right right you [TS]

00:16:10   already had it and some other people [TS]

00:16:11   Prince Francois the count of claremont [TS]

00:16:14   returns pretender to the throne of [TS]

00:16:15   France [TS]

00:16:16   well sure I was just exchanging letters [TS]

00:16:18   with him the other day his disability [TS]

00:16:20   caused him to be overlooked in the line [TS]

00:16:21   of succession it's not a shame [TS]

00:16:22   wow really are using ensure wasn't [TS]

00:16:25   simplistic it sounds like it could have [TS]

00:16:27   been something more severe enjoy your [TS]

00:16:29   captain's crap but I I feel like that up [TS]

00:16:34   we had cats growing up when I really and [TS]

00:16:39   my mom allowed cats [TS]

00:16:40   well here's the thing we loved cats but [TS]

00:16:44   we were both allergic to cats and we [TS]

00:16:47   didn't know because allergy detection [TS]

00:16:51   technologies and allergy and the you [TS]

00:16:55   know and the cult of allergy had not yet [TS]

00:16:57   entered into the American consciousness [TS]

00:17:00   and so the fact that i had a chronic [TS]

00:17:03   cough and fatigue my whole childhood was [TS]

00:17:10   never attributed to anything other than [TS]

00:17:12   a sickness or I don't know what other [TS]

00:17:16   playing other cultural reasons to think [TS]

00:17:19   the children were broken inside [TS]

00:17:20   yep you didn't need science there to pop [TS]

00:17:22   it up yeah and so it turned out later [TS]

00:17:25   that you know i was sleeping with a cat [TS]

00:17:27   on my chest my entire young life and I [TS]

00:17:30   was allergic to them so I [TS]

00:17:35   this so we don't we don't keep them [TS]

00:17:37   anymore but but you know we were we work [TS]

00:17:40   at three and we enjoyed cats for some [TS]

00:17:43   reason I don't know my dad like that my [TS]

00:17:45   mom liked them cats were sort of always [TS]

00:17:50   present and i had i have to say i had a [TS]

00:17:53   couple of great cats will you do pretty [TS]

00:17:56   recently had a secret cat you have a [TS]

00:17:57   secret that you didn't talk about it but [TS]

00:17:59   you had a cat that you loved yeah I [TS]

00:18:00   didn't like your heart [TS]

00:18:01   yeah he did he did he got hit by car so [TS]

00:18:05   and that was that was Louis and then in [TS]

00:18:08   the pantheon of great cats i have to say [TS]

00:18:11   Guido was a great cat you know there [TS]

00:18:15   were some there were some support [TS]

00:18:17   quality cats in there to my dad thought [TS]

00:18:20   that my dad thought puppy was a good cat [TS]

00:18:22   I never really bonded with puppy and [TS]

00:18:24   then puppy died and dad got puppy too [TS]

00:18:26   and the puppy to was a pretty good [TS]

00:18:29   pretty good Mouser oh nice but not a [TS]

00:18:33   real like not a real good dude but not a [TS]

00:18:37   very personable guy he had a lot hit he [TS]

00:18:39   felt like he had a job to do [TS]

00:18:41   tippy was a good cat flaky was a flaky [TS]

00:18:47   cat and then all learning so much you [TS]

00:18:51   know all the way back to mel mel one of [TS]

00:18:54   the original great cats my mom and my [TS]

00:18:57   mom and dad talked about a symbol [TS]

00:18:59   Jacobian Tiffany Michelle their two cats [TS]

00:19:03   from the sixties they talked about those [TS]

00:19:04   cats until until my dad passed away it [TS]

00:19:07   was good still sit around and talk about [TS]

00:19:08   simple Jacoby and Tiffany Michelle the [TS]

00:19:10   great names who would ride on the bat [TS]

00:19:13   they would jump up on the back of my [TS]

00:19:14   folks borzoi manouschka and ride around [TS]

00:19:19   and their dog they would follow [TS]

00:19:21   manouschka around the neighborhood like [TS]

00:19:23   a like a little pack of elephants but [TS]

00:19:26   enough listen enough about my family's [TS]

00:19:28   cat history no cats now we are presently [TS]

00:19:31   catless I just sent you a link in the in [TS]

00:19:35   the robot we met a cat weekend before [TS]

00:19:39   last and I don't think of myself as a [TS]

00:19:41   cat person i'm not anti cat as much as [TS]

00:19:45   it might sound like I am but I i under [TS]

00:19:47   stand that as a not active pet person [TS]

00:19:50   it's a big step to get an animal and [TS]

00:19:52   bring it in the house yeah and look at [TS]

00:19:55   that cat that's midget that is really an [TS]

00:19:59   extraordinary face [TS]

00:20:00   yeah it's got a little dirty tone and [TS]

00:20:03   that is a Persian cat that had just been [TS]

00:20:05   shaved except for its head and basically [TS]

00:20:08   i was at these peoples house and I was [TS]

00:20:09   kind of avoiding my family and I looked [TS]

00:20:11   out the front window and I saw something [TS]

00:20:13   that looked like a teacup lion up front [TS]

00:20:16   it was so tiny and so cute and so weird [TS]

00:20:19   and so looking like it was near death [TS]

00:20:20   and i instantly bonded with midget who [TS]

00:20:24   is you see in the caption i'm referring [TS]

00:20:26   to here is the world's most interesting [TS]

00:20:27   cat midget lets you hold her and she [TS]

00:20:31   licks you because you can't put your [TS]

00:20:33   tongue back in your mouth and he [TS]

00:20:34   shouldn't girl electrical from but I I I [TS]

00:20:38   didn't want to say this in front of my [TS]

00:20:39   family but like I was like I want this [TS]

00:20:42   cat likes you ever decide cuz these [TS]

00:20:44   people had two dogs and three cats and I [TS]

00:20:46   was like if you ever want to unload this [TS]

00:20:47   cat you know let's talk [TS]

00:20:50   yes so there are some potential [TS]

00:20:52   high-level talks going on about maybe [TS]

00:20:55   bring midget into our life is pretty old [TS]

00:20:57   but look at that face [TS]

00:20:59   it's a great face yeah it's a great face [TS]

00:21:01   it's a very you know yeah it's over it's [TS]

00:21:04   a it's over used to describe a creature [TS]

00:21:07   like that as Muppet like but it is very [TS]

00:21:09   Muppet like a hundred percent it looks [TS]

00:21:13   like it's jim henson project [TS]

00:21:14   yep yep yep it is something that they [TS]

00:21:16   modeled Muppets after but i know that [TS]

00:21:18   feeling of seeing a little creature and [TS]

00:21:21   I want your cat and saying like oh this [TS]

00:21:24   creature belongs with me because it's [TS]

00:21:27   pretty cool first knowledge on [TS]

00:21:28   everything you're describing you kind of [TS]

00:21:29   want an animal and this exactly the kind [TS]

00:21:31   of thing somebody who doesn't own pets [TS]

00:21:32   would say excuse me companion on pets [TS]

00:21:34   would say is is that is that it's [TS]

00:21:37   pre-qualified like I know right I know [TS]

00:21:39   this is a cool cat [TS]

00:21:41   Yeah right right if you just use driving [TS]

00:21:43   to trader joes and somebody's a free [TS]

00:21:44   sign means you don't know what you're in [TS]

00:21:45   for [TS]

00:21:46   that's right get pretty idea what you're [TS]

00:21:48   in for but you know but in this case [TS]

00:21:50   this is a pre-qualified cool cat that [TS]

00:21:52   likes to lick you how cute is that [TS]

00:21:55   well and the the problem with a with [TS]

00:21:57   cats for me is that [TS]

00:21:59   you know the the kitten does not denote [TS]

00:22:04   the cat haha oh oh my goodness if you [TS]

00:22:08   know what I'm saying I oh I think that's [TS]

00:22:11   true i think that's true it's a species [TS]

00:22:13   beyond beyond that species i think [TS]

00:22:14   that's the thing the kitchen does not [TS]

00:22:16   denote the cat [TS]

00:22:17   yeah and so I have seen a lot of cute [TS]

00:22:21   kittens that became pretty uncute cats [TS]

00:22:25   and I i would like if I'm going to look [TS]

00:22:29   at a little face all the time and have [TS]

00:22:32   that little face look up at me [TS]

00:22:34   pleadingly one thing its whiskers and [TS]

00:22:39   that little face greet me every morning [TS]

00:22:41   I would like to like that face I do not [TS]

00:22:44   want to face that that that I would not [TS]

00:22:49   choose and when you choose a kitten [TS]

00:22:52   you're like oh Babu and then turns into [TS]

00:22:56   this sort of grotesquerie but it's like [TS]

00:23:00   no you know what i mean like you you can [TS]

00:23:02   there's nature and there's nurture let's [TS]

00:23:04   be honest there's only so much you can [TS]

00:23:06   do to make it to you know to make a cap [TS]

00:23:10   that is destined to be a jerk into into [TS]

00:23:15   a good a good pal you know it only when [TS]

00:23:18   you get a kid [TS]

00:23:19   there's a lot of biological stuff going [TS]

00:23:21   on where you feel a certain you feel [TS]

00:23:23   compelled to try and move things around [TS]

00:23:26   your schedule to make sure it doesn't [TS]

00:23:27   die [TS]

00:23:28   yes like with a cat i don't i think for [TS]

00:23:30   some people like that i know i would [TS]

00:23:32   have to manufacture a lot there are [TS]

00:23:35   points when I have to manufacture a lot [TS]

00:23:37   of care not that not only sound uncaring [TS]

00:23:39   I'm trying to be realistic [TS]

00:23:40   it's like those idiots to go out and buy [TS]

00:23:42   an Easter Bunny or a turtle or something [TS]

00:23:43   have no idea what they're getting into [TS]

00:23:45   you know what i mean that's that's the [TS]

00:23:46   trouble ninja turtles have what they [TS]

00:23:49   have they've got the they've got the [TS]

00:23:51   well was stuff you get from a bad meat [TS]

00:23:54   oh good for trichinosis know it's pork i [TS]

00:23:58   think but you know if the one they get [TS]

00:23:59   the Salmonella you get someone from a [TS]

00:24:01   turtle [TS]

00:24:01   I thought that was from chickens and [TS]

00:24:03   eggs I could have a pet chicken i would [TS]

00:24:04   enjoy these people these people also [TS]

00:24:06   chickens and therefore chickens at the [TS]

00:24:08   house that they did they sound like [TS]

00:24:09   chicken owners [TS]

00:24:10   hi I'm I do not [TS]

00:24:14   I you know I had a cat after Lewis I [TS]

00:24:19   tried to replace Luis with another cat [TS]

00:24:22   and all these cats you know they come to [TS]

00:24:25   me you know by hook or by crook I don't [TS]

00:24:29   know it's not like I go to the pound and [TS]

00:24:31   choose cats but like cats show up and I [TS]

00:24:34   and a second cat arrived and i think it [TS]

00:24:37   was that somebody was trying to somebody [TS]

00:24:39   was trying to make my my pain over Lewis [TS]

00:24:42   go away [TS]

00:24:43   ok and so this second cat arrived and [TS]

00:24:47   the second cat was ok but I think had [TS]

00:24:53   been weaned too early or incorrectly you [TS]

00:24:58   know you can be weaned incorrectly I [TS]

00:25:00   mean people like that all the time just [TS]

00:25:02   got torn away little too just like clip [TS]

00:25:04   hey i was using that wait a minute [TS]

00:25:08   and so this catches didn't you know and [TS]

00:25:13   and overtime my good friend Eric course [TS]

00:25:17   and bass player the long winters would [TS]

00:25:20   come around in the and eric and the cat [TS]

00:25:22   had a good rapport and then I was going [TS]

00:25:25   out of town as I care if you want to [TS]

00:25:26   watch the cat he was like yeah and then [TS]

00:25:29   I just never went back and got the cat [TS]

00:25:31   that sounds like that sounds like a nice [TS]

00:25:33   nice way for that and out [TS]

00:25:35   yeah and I think Eric and the cat still [TS]

00:25:37   have a good relationship and and our [TS]

00:25:39   clothes and and I never have to see the [TS]

00:25:42   cat and and we had everybody wins [TS]

00:25:45   but I mean I lived with that cat for for [TS]

00:25:48   a year maybe [TS]

00:25:49   Wow with no with a never really feel I [TS]

00:25:52   mean we were sharing a space together [TS]

00:25:54   but we were not sharing a place together [TS]

00:25:57   oh yeah [TS]

00:26:03   the rotten milk in my coffee is really [TS]

00:26:06   it's really making me sentimental yeah [TS]

00:26:10   well I who knows who knows what's [TS]

00:26:12   causing that I remember a job I had one [TS]

00:26:14   time hearing on Monday morning I i hear [TS]

00:26:17   a a man scream down the hallway and we [TS]

00:26:21   all gathered round because he was the [TS]

00:26:22   least intelligent people working there [TS]

00:26:23   and he got himself a fresh cup of coffee [TS]

00:26:26   with some cream in it but he erroneously [TS]

00:26:28   grabbed the coffee from friday that was [TS]

00:26:33   on his desk [TS]

00:26:34   no fridays coffee yet fridays coffee [TS]

00:26:36   took a big slug of it and had fried ice [TS]

00:26:38   cream in it and he was a sad little man [TS]

00:26:41   oh it's been sitting on the counter the [TS]

00:26:42   whole time yeah that's not even in the [TS]

00:26:44   fridge that's bad [TS]

00:26:46   blue did I ever tell you about the time [TS]

00:26:50   I left a cup of coffee in the in the [TS]

00:26:53   garden [TS]

00:26:54   no I left a cup of coffee in the garden [TS]

00:26:56   and I came back a couple of days later [TS]

00:26:59   and a bird had fallen into it and I [TS]

00:27:06   don't know how or why I don't know why [TS]

00:27:10   she swallowed a fly but she died in my [TS]

00:27:16   coffee cup was it wasn't a cup that you [TS]

00:27:19   liked [TS]

00:27:19   well i mean i still use the cup good get [TS]

00:27:23   you later thank you you honor the bird [TS]

00:27:25   but i had to you know on under the bird [TS]

00:27:28   honor the bird story like what i did was [TS]

00:27:31   i I washed out the cup and that was no [TS]

00:27:33   easy thing I dumped the coffee I dumped [TS]

00:27:37   the Moldy coffee bird in the yard waste [TS]

00:27:44   maybe the compost i'm not sure which i'm [TS]

00:27:47   not sure which been which of Seattle's [TS]

00:27:49   many bins got the Moldy coffee bird but [TS]

00:27:53   then I went in I gave it a give the cup [TS]

00:27:54   of good scrub and then I put it back in [TS]

00:27:56   rotation and now I swear to you I could [TS]

00:27:59   not tell you which one it was I could be [TS]

00:28:00   drinking out of it now [TS]

00:28:01   yeah that's the dream mhm mhm butBut [TS]

00:28:05   trying to picture what was happening in [TS]

00:28:06   a bird's life was like huh look at that [TS]

00:28:09   I wonder what that is i'm gonna go perch [TS]

00:28:12   on the edges of that mug [TS]

00:28:14   yeah and then like birds totally lose [TS]

00:28:16   our footing how did the bird end up in [TS]

00:28:18   the I don't know he had a little bit [TS]

00:28:21   curious right drop down and then [TS]

00:28:23   couldn't get out [TS]

00:28:25   yeah whatever I was like a little bird I [TS]

00:28:28   mean little enough to fall into a beer [TS]

00:28:30   style you wouldn't want you just say I [TS]

00:28:31   want to state the obvious but you would [TS]

00:28:33   not want that to be a crow [TS]

00:28:35   no it wasn't an eagle to drink got a [TS]

00:28:38   pretty big cups but uh but not as a [TS]

00:28:41   brother would fit in a cup but it's you [TS]

00:28:44   know there are a few there are a few [TS]

00:28:45   private tragedies that I've had [TS]

00:28:48   involving things creatures over the [TS]

00:28:51   years / / palma almost 50 years in may [TS]

00:28:56   in American life over for me and a few [TS]

00:29:00   of them have just have always remained [TS]

00:29:01   private right there just there a few [TS]

00:29:02   those few times when you come upon a you [TS]

00:29:05   come upon a noble stag in the forest and [TS]

00:29:09   you felt him with a handmade bow and [TS]

00:29:12   arrow [TS]

00:29:13   you never talk about those things with [TS]

00:29:15   anyone else no I never got a chance to [TS]

00:29:17   put his head in your lap no it's just [TS]

00:29:19   it's just the thing that doesn't come up [TS]

00:29:20   in conversation and if you're sitting at [TS]

00:29:21   a party and somebody says have you ever [TS]

00:29:23   felt this tag you just kind of don't [TS]

00:29:25   answer [TS]

00:29:26   look out the window and just sort of [TS]

00:29:28   it's not a story that you want to tell [TS]

00:29:29   we've we've had two recently deal with [TS]

00:29:32   the the state of little things lately [TS]

00:29:36   and it's hard it's hard [TS]

00:29:38   my daughter found a a robin's egg and [TS]

00:29:41   put it back in the nest about a month [TS]

00:29:42   ago and she's really excited cause it [TS]

00:29:44   still hasn't hatched [TS]

00:29:46   haha oh and what she's saying you know [TS]

00:29:49   she's like she's pretty sure it takes at [TS]

00:29:50   least a month for an egg to hatch and I [TS]

00:29:51   was like I you know what do you say we I [TS]

00:29:53   mean you know you know she's if it was [TS]

00:29:56   just any any egg in a nest i would say [TS]

00:29:59   well you know there's probably fucking [TS]

00:30:00   dead but like she has some ownership [TS]

00:30:02   some investment in that it's a project [TS]

00:30:04   she rescued [TS]

00:30:05   yeah and then the other day we went to [TS]

00:30:08   the garage to check the mail and there [TS]

00:30:10   was a mouse in a glue trap struggling [TS]

00:30:12   row [TS]

00:30:14   yeah and I mean I i I'm I'm I don't mind [TS]

00:30:17   seeing my sleep I did when I was a kid [TS]

00:30:19   but a key and animals struggling in a [TS]

00:30:21   glue trap to where it has flipped a foot [TS]

00:30:23   from where the trap had been it was [TS]

00:30:25   really tiny it was like maybe an inch [TS]

00:30:26   and a half [TS]

00:30:27   long and that's no good no not she's [TS]

00:30:29   probably scarred but it's like what am I [TS]

00:30:31   going to say it's either that or have a [TS]

00:30:32   garage full of mice your pic yeah right [TS]

00:30:34   one things you know things to die mean [TS]

00:30:36   the thing with the egg I don't know [TS]

00:30:38   where you guys are on the Santa Claus [TS]

00:30:39   continuum but I think you just go up [TS]

00:30:42   there in the night he grabbed that egg [TS]

00:30:43   you get rid of it that was perfect [TS]

00:30:45   burden that when she looks for you said [TS]

00:30:47   like oh the bird has influenced I used [TS]

00:30:50   to be really good at that I used to be [TS]

00:30:51   good at like really basic [TS]

00:30:52   sleight-of-hand to make her think things [TS]

00:30:54   are magic this the Santa Claus continuum [TS]

00:30:56   is tough right now because I i don't [TS]

00:30:59   know i could feel I think we're at that [TS]

00:31:00   age where at that age where she's [TS]

00:31:02   probably got some pretty specific [TS]

00:31:04   concerns [TS]

00:31:05   it's probably been some dickhead at [TS]

00:31:07   school that's already spoiled it for her [TS]

00:31:09   there's always one but uh where do you [TS]

00:31:12   stand on Santa if you even if you're [TS]

00:31:15   comfortable saying um you know my i do [TS]

00:31:20   not have a I don't have any political [TS]

00:31:21   feelings about Santa and I don't have [TS]

00:31:25   you know i don't have a stand on the [TS]

00:31:30   Santa you don't have like a hum a [TS]

00:31:33   moralistic stake in the ground about the [TS]

00:31:34   consequences of Santa right like some [TS]

00:31:37   people have very strong feelings about [TS]

00:31:38   say they do they do and I don't you know [TS]

00:31:40   i'm not i'm not here saying like I will [TS]

00:31:42   never lie to my child I used to think [TS]

00:31:45   that and if you say Santa is real then [TS]

00:31:48   you're just setting them up for a [TS]

00:31:49   lifetime of not trusting people like I [TS]

00:31:52   understand that logic heading causing a [TS]

00:31:54   child to be born does that even better [TS]

00:31:56   exactly but like I don't have that stand [TS]

00:31:59   but nor am I sitting on my like like my [TS]

00:32:04   my gilded tortoise or my magic footstool [TS]

00:32:07   and saying the magic of Santa and [TS]

00:32:11   Christmas something that I wouldn't deny [TS]

00:32:12   my child and I didn't you know that lab [TS]

00:32:15   lab lab like yeah I guess the magic of [TS]

00:32:17   Christmas sure [TS]

00:32:20   thus far Santa to her is just one in a [TS]

00:32:28   one-of-a palapa liave bearded men who [TS]

00:32:32   wear all red because her father is one [TS]

00:32:36   of those two you know like Slater jolly [TS]

00:32:38   bearded guys in [TS]

00:32:40   funny hats who i'm not even sure she [TS]

00:32:43   maybe she has made entirely made the [TS]

00:32:45   connection that Santa brings presents [TS]

00:32:49   she said she doesn't talk about [TS]

00:32:51   Christmas I mean honestly the other day [TS]

00:32:54   she was walking around the house with a [TS]

00:32:55   little Christmas present in her hand and [TS]

00:32:58   by little I mean a size of a matchbox [TS]

00:32:59   and I said where did you find that and [TS]

00:33:05   she said it was over there on the dining [TS]

00:33:09   room table with the Christmas [TS]

00:33:11   decorations and I looked and on my [TS]

00:33:15   dining room table there is still a an [TS]

00:33:18   advent calendar a crash and a stuffed [TS]

00:33:22   Santa Claus that apparently had a couple [TS]

00:33:25   of small presence at his feet [TS]

00:33:27   that's been there since Christmas it's [TS]

00:33:30   been there the whole time and I just [TS]

00:33:32   stopped seeing it with my eyes though [TS]

00:33:34   because i had other things going on [TS]

00:33:39   uh-huh and I was like hmm i'm not sure [TS]

00:33:42   what I mean I'm pretty sure that that [TS]

00:33:46   doesn't say amazing things about me as a [TS]

00:33:51   as like a is like a at idea or a person [TS]

00:33:57   who is living a particularly organized [TS]

00:33:59   life and then I went over to the [TS]

00:34:00   fireplace to make sure that the [TS]

00:34:01   stockings were still hanging and they [TS]

00:34:03   weren't but she found a present a [TS]

00:34:07   Christmas present and was carrying it [TS]

00:34:09   around and and and then she like [TS]

00:34:12   attached it to a fork somehow and was [TS]

00:34:15   calling it a piece of cake [TS]

00:34:16   so she was off on her own thing but but [TS]

00:34:21   I had I had a real moment of pause [TS]

00:34:22   realizing that I've been looking at an [TS]

00:34:24   advent calendar for six months and had [TS]

00:34:28   just and it had just turned into another [TS]

00:34:30   piece of another sort of little piece of [TS]

00:34:34   flotsam I mean it's not a small thing [TS]

00:34:37   it's nothing big [TS]

00:34:38   now I know but like you get me thinking [TS]

00:34:40   I just who will be so convenient if we [TS]

00:34:44   could choose and fully understand our [TS]

00:34:47   own forms of madness but then I guess [TS]

00:34:49   that would be madness part part part of [TS]

00:34:50   what makes it madness is we either don't [TS]

00:34:52   know about it or don't understand [TS]

00:34:54   and it was the madness that we think we [TS]

00:34:56   know about are comfortable with and [TS]

00:34:57   that's crazy enough but then the other [TS]

00:34:59   stuff we were like hmm i wonder if I'm [TS]

00:35:01   out of my mind [TS]

00:35:02   mm and I I think that sometimes we're [TS]

00:35:05   all and then look for some reason have [TS]

00:35:06   you ever seen a movie called Synecdoche [TS]

00:35:07   New York yes which I find a very [TS]

00:35:10   effective movie but I talked about this [TS]

00:35:13   and another show but like that movie had [TS]

00:35:15   a huge impact on me because I realize [TS]

00:35:17   like how much of what [TS]

00:35:18   kayden it goes through in that movie I [TS]

00:35:21   felt feels like something that I thought [TS]

00:35:23   was peculiar to me of like suddenly [TS]

00:35:25   going oh no that actually happened 10 [TS]

00:35:27   years ago and you're not exactly crazy [TS]

00:35:29   don't exactly think that it's whatever [TS]

00:35:31   1996 now or something but you could [TS]

00:35:33   easily go like I'm in my case like we [TS]

00:35:36   are little diner down the street that [TS]

00:35:37   you've been to they give out a little [TS]

00:35:39   stick-on calendar [TS]

00:35:41   you know those little calendars with a [TS]

00:35:42   little tear off calendar yeah and i have [TS]

00:35:44   one of those over my my clothing [TS]

00:35:46   dressing area from 2012 and it didn't [TS]

00:35:50   occur to me that like not only had I not [TS]

00:35:53   taking this down since july two thousand [TS]

00:35:55   twelve but I hadn't bothered to rip it [TS]

00:35:56   off since something like August 2012 [TS]

00:35:58   mhm and just kept sitting there and then [TS]

00:36:00   that started dogging me like what why [TS]

00:36:02   why is this here why did I why am i not [TS]

00:36:04   changing this why am i why is this still [TS]

00:36:06   here and why has it not bothered me [TS]

00:36:08   until three years later [TS]

00:36:10   why did you notice it three years later [TS]

00:36:12   I mean if I i have to say like if that [TS]

00:36:15   little Christmas present hadn't gotten [TS]

00:36:16   repurposed as a piece of cake [TS]

00:36:18   yeah I'm not sure whether I would have [TS]

00:36:20   noticed these Christmas decorations [TS]

00:36:21   until it was time to decorate for [TS]

00:36:23   Christmas and I was like oh look look we [TS]

00:36:27   already have a little still life here [TS]

00:36:28   that's been here the entire time you got [TS]

00:36:31   a little nativity just sitting there huh [TS]

00:36:33   yeah Don crash my wife cause a crash [TS]

00:36:35   yeah I mean it's not I mean know what [TS]

00:36:39   what what what Christmas decorations are [TS]

00:36:42   to me I guess is like another it's [TS]

00:36:46   another couple of bins of sentimental [TS]

00:36:49   sentimental jetsam stuff that I've [TS]

00:36:53   looked at my whole life that I go like I [TS]

00:36:55   remember when that advent calendar [TS]

00:36:58   really mattered to me and every day I [TS]

00:37:02   couldn't wait to open another little [TS]

00:37:04   door [TS]

00:37:04   uh-huh in the in the [TS]

00:37:06   endless march to christmas i was like [TS]

00:37:10   the longest month ever just like oh it [TS]

00:37:13   is the 14th are you kidding me come on [TS]

00:37:15   and you open the little door and there's [TS]

00:37:17   a little you know and it's a advent [TS]

00:37:19   calendar from Germany that was made in [TS]

00:37:22   1954 and so there's a little boy and [TS]

00:37:25   later hosen behind the door and he's you [TS]

00:37:28   know and he's holding up sugar plum you [TS]

00:37:31   go [TS]

00:37:32   I don't know what any of these I don't [TS]

00:37:33   know what any of this imagery means and [TS]

00:37:35   I don't know why germany in the fifties [TS]

00:37:38   so completely colonized my childhood [TS]

00:37:42   Christmas right like I knew the lyrics [TS]

00:37:45   to o Tannenbaum and never understood [TS]

00:37:48   never it made the connection that that [TS]

00:37:51   was the same song as o Christmas tree [TS]

00:37:52   alright same school why did the Germans [TS]

00:37:55   have such a lock on on on Christmas [TS]

00:37:58   particularly post-war Germany where [TS]

00:38:01   would you know made in west germany [TS]

00:38:02   that's what that says Christmas to me [TS]

00:38:04   made in west germany feels more [TS]

00:38:06   authentic it very much does right to [TS]

00:38:09   feel the old country so i don't know [TS]

00:38:13   so but but in in terms of like Santa and [TS]

00:38:16   the tree and the and the business and [TS]

00:38:19   whether or not whether or not we say [TS]

00:38:21   like Santa's coming down the chimney so [TS]

00:38:24   get in your room like I I honestly have [TS]

00:38:27   not picked aside and I feel like I feel [TS]

00:38:31   like not picking aside um my daughter is [TS]

00:38:34   already knows that I am pretty [TS]

00:38:37   half-hearted about most American [TS]

00:38:42   traditions most you know like just most [TS]

00:38:45   sort of like holidays like a big [TS]

00:38:47   celebrator of holidays not at all [TS]

00:38:49   yeah I feel bad about on the same way so [TS]

00:38:51   it's like here comes easter boy we had [TS]

00:38:54   some eggs you don't feel compelled like [TS]

00:38:56   we just had what we had the fourth of [TS]

00:38:57   July before that we had excuse me [TS]

00:38:59   Independence Day couple months ago we [TS]

00:39:01   had memorial day you know November [TS]

00:39:03   veterans day and it's like I i don't i [TS]

00:39:06   don't feel compelled to explain those [TS]

00:39:08   distinctions and why they're special [TS]

00:39:10   it's really mostly a day off and I feel [TS]

00:39:12   bad about that [TS]

00:39:13   well yeah and I mean it's a good way to [TS]

00:39:16   mark your your your progress [TS]

00:39:19   a year so it's already the fourth of [TS]

00:39:23   July well let's go [TS]

00:39:25   hey but I'm you know wow [TS]

00:39:29   when when when that when we were before [TS]

00:39:33   before the baby was born all the [TS]

00:39:36   conversations that we had with [TS]

00:39:37   pediatricians and with with the all the [TS]

00:39:40   books that we read about how to raise a [TS]

00:39:42   baby you know he you know there's a baby [TS]

00:39:45   on the way and so everybody runs to the [TS]

00:39:46   library and gets all the how to raise a [TS]

00:39:48   baby books you study them and they're [TS]

00:39:51   all contradictory and and none of them [TS]

00:39:53   make sense really and and some of them [TS]

00:39:58   make it seem like this is a matter of [TS]

00:40:01   desperate importance and some of them [TS]

00:40:03   make it seem like oh it'll be fine but [TS]

00:40:07   they all they all kind of agreed and [TS]

00:40:09   people lectured me a lot about routine [TS]

00:40:11   children love routine they want they [TS]

00:40:14   want routine they want the same things [TS]

00:40:16   at the same time and that gives them [TS]

00:40:17   that gives them a feeling of safety and [TS]

00:40:20   it you know it makes them feel secure [TS]

00:40:21   and that is kind of the nurturing life [TS]

00:40:24   that they need to grow up to be [TS]

00:40:27   productive and healthy members of the [TS]

00:40:31   banking community and i remember reading [TS]

00:40:36   those books and talking to those [TS]

00:40:37   pediatricians and saying I do not have [TS]

00:40:39   any kind of routine or any capability of [TS]

00:40:42   maintaining a routine so i have two [TS]

00:40:47   choices i can either accept your framing [TS]

00:40:51   in which case I'm i already fear for my [TS]

00:40:56   unborn child's future [TS]

00:40:59   almost almost seems not to put too fine [TS]

00:41:01   a point on it almost seems doomed doomed [TS]

00:41:03   right side it's something you've if it's [TS]

00:41:05   something that you've got to learn from [TS]

00:41:06   scratch it's gonna be pretty tough to do [TS]

00:41:08   on a day-to-day basis [TS]

00:41:09   yeah right i have never I mean some [TS]

00:41:12   weeks i make coffee every morning some [TS]

00:41:14   weeks the coffee mold takes over the [TS]

00:41:17   entire like northeast corner of the [TS]

00:41:19   house and and I don't have a it's [TS]

00:41:23   inexplicable to me why that's true and [TS]

00:41:26   you know i have tried to take vitamins [TS]

00:41:29   and I have made it [TS]

00:41:31   10 days before I just stopped taking [TS]

00:41:35   vitamins i just stopped remembering them [TS]

00:41:38   i did the seven-minute workout for about [TS]

00:41:42   I would I would go as far as to say 14 [TS]

00:41:44   days I did the seven-minute workout [TS]

00:41:46   before one day I didn't and that was it [TS]

00:41:49   and that was the end didn't just bounce [TS]

00:41:51   back the next day I just was just like [TS]

00:41:53   oh oh I missed a day [TS]

00:41:55   let's get back on the train like I have [TS]

00:41:57   never successfully gotten back on the [TS]

00:41:59   train I get off the train [TS]

00:42:01   often in the woods and then I'm [TS]

00:42:04   bushwhackin again and that's my natural [TS]

00:42:06   state so it what I chose to do was [TS]

00:42:09   refused to accept the idea that a child [TS]

00:42:14   without a child will refuse to accept [TS]

00:42:17   the idea that a child needs routine and [TS]

00:42:21   instead like found maybe it like a [TS]

00:42:24   different a different layer of routine [TS]

00:42:31   yeah i mean like that's like I see her [TS]

00:42:33   every day like that is our routine it's [TS]

00:42:36   you know that I'm sorry I don't mean to [TS]

00:42:37   be going off here but like first of all [TS]

00:42:40   there's a lot of great stuff in books [TS]

00:42:42   there's a lot of great advice that [TS]

00:42:42   exists in the world [TS]

00:42:44   the trouble is that the advice that you [TS]

00:42:45   get from people who are professionals [TS]

00:42:48   and people who are professionals [TS]

00:42:49   i think is mostly advice that is [TS]

00:42:51   tendered to make you think better of [TS]

00:42:53   them and to make them feel good about [TS]

00:42:55   the decisions they've made whether or [TS]

00:42:57   not they're particularly great but [TS]

00:42:58   whatever version they tell you of their [TS]

00:43:00   life which is usually put down the most [TS]

00:43:01   strict possible way like it's always [TS]

00:43:03   going to be this way and that's how I've [TS]

00:43:05   had such success like that's the and [TS]

00:43:08   then you get books and the thing is for [TS]

00:43:09   a book to be a book it has to have a big [TS]

00:43:12   point and then driving home all the time [TS]

00:43:13   and say there's going to be a [TS]

00:43:15   catastrophe if you don't do it this way [TS]

00:43:16   all the time which which is very [TS]

00:43:19   unrealistic and cause you just want to [TS]

00:43:21   go and read more books you know if [TS]

00:43:23   you're susceptible that kind of thing so [TS]

00:43:24   I mean I don't have a super strong [TS]

00:43:26   position on like how that shakes out to [TS]

00:43:28   success or not but i dunno i feel that [TS]

00:43:30   pressure of like you know any of these [TS]

00:43:32   dumb books that have you know as a [TS]

00:43:34   branding or marketing point have this [TS]

00:43:36   here's the one big thing that you need [TS]

00:43:37   to know in your case like it's like talk [TS]

00:43:39   so Kat plasmosis [TS]

00:43:41   yeah but in self-help books how's that [TS]

00:43:45   you have a plant the little uh they [TS]

00:43:47   plant a little seed they kept a little [TS]

00:43:50   seed wear something more books [TS]

00:43:51   yeah and like I don't know maybe I'm [TS]

00:43:53   just as dumb as i seem but like I think [TS]

00:43:57   I think there's a distinction to be made [TS]

00:43:59   to was the phrase you used than a [TS]

00:44:02   hammock banana mhm [TS]

00:44:04   well there's a difference between like [TS]

00:44:07   was aboard you use it to describe what [TS]

00:44:08   you're never gonna have a routine [TS]

00:44:10   routine like I think there's a diff [TS]

00:44:13   there can be important differences [TS]

00:44:14   between a routine and between [TS]

00:44:17   consistency [TS]

00:44:19   okay i think because here's the problem [TS]

00:44:22   and I think this gets to something that [TS]

00:44:24   people don't like talking about which is [TS]

00:44:25   that people like to think that if they [TS]

00:44:28   buy into a system and then do it doggy [TS]

00:44:31   Glee I eat everything will probably turn [TS]

00:44:33   out fine and even if it doesn't there's [TS]

00:44:35   probably a reason that can be fixed [TS]

00:44:37   because i want to do is go back to the [TS]

00:44:38   book and read it and like I think what [TS]

00:44:40   they're avoiding is the fact that you're [TS]

00:44:41   kind of a little fucked all the time [TS]

00:44:42   when you're a parent you're always [TS]

00:44:44   behind you're always you're always not [TS]

00:44:46   doing as much as you could and there is [TS]

00:44:48   a very natural inclination to feel like [TS]

00:44:49   wow I'm really not well suited for this [TS]

00:44:52   and so you know do you believe that or [TS]

00:44:55   not but like I think the the angle to [TS]

00:44:57   add to that that's important is that [TS]

00:44:58   when you think about routine vs [TS]

00:44:59   consistency like okay if you got a [TS]

00:45:01   routine that you're constantly stressing [TS]

00:45:03   over and that you're making your child [TS]

00:45:05   feel like where everything is a constant [TS]

00:45:07   potential catastrophe because you're not [TS]

00:45:08   at the bus at 90 5am like I my concern [TS]

00:45:12   there is that if you can do that routine [TS]

00:45:14   and be consistent and everybody's pretty [TS]

00:45:16   content with that routine that's a good [TS]

00:45:18   thing i think the problem is if you try [TS]

00:45:20   to instill something in your kid that [TS]

00:45:22   you don't basically have in yourself [TS]

00:45:24   you're setting up a lot of potential a [TS]

00:45:26   lot of potential disasters [TS]

00:45:28   whereas if you're consistent like here's [TS]

00:45:30   what you can consistently expect out of [TS]

00:45:31   me [TS]

00:45:32   interactive attitude and comportment and [TS]

00:45:34   how things importantly how things good [TS]

00:45:36   how I how I am when things don't go well [TS]

00:45:38   like that's what I want to get good at [TS]

00:45:40   what i want to get good at is being like [TS]

00:45:41   the person who handles that stuff in [TS]

00:45:43   stride well one right before right [TS]

00:45:47   before she was born [TS]

00:45:48   we decided that that we needed a wagon a [TS]

00:45:55   uh-uh [TS]

00:45:56   a car automotive wagon yeah because you [TS]

00:45:59   got to carry the you know inner tubes [TS]

00:46:01   and stuff or whatever it is that you do [TS]

00:46:02   when you're a parent and so we drove [TS]

00:46:04   over to mercer island which is the kind [TS]

00:46:05   of upscale neighborhood because somebody [TS]

00:46:07   was selling a passat wagon and we [TS]

00:46:11   arrived at the house which was a nice [TS]

00:46:12   sort of house out in the woods of mercer [TS]

00:46:15   island and there was a family their mom [TS]

00:46:19   and dad yo you know our age and they had [TS]

00:46:22   to toddler age kids 1412 I think and a [TS]

00:46:28   brand-new baby that was like one day old [TS]

00:46:32   and they were selling their prasad [TS]

00:46:35   because with the arrival of the third [TS]

00:46:38   kid they now had you gonna upgrade [TS]

00:46:40   yeah they now we're at suburban level of [TS]

00:46:42   a of card need and so they were getting [TS]

00:46:47   ready to get rid of the little car which [TS]

00:46:49   was going to be the big car for our [TS]

00:46:52   little family of one baby on the way and [TS]

00:46:57   so we were sitting around and we like to [TS]

00:46:59   the mother very much we're chatting and [TS]

00:47:00   like the dad and the kids are running [TS]

00:47:02   around and and the and we were [TS]

00:47:06   fascinated by this one day old baby like [TS]

00:47:09   wow look at this because we were buying [TS]

00:47:11   this car just a couple of days before [TS]

00:47:13   our daughter was do it was like that's a [TS]

00:47:16   brand new baby like our babies are about [TS]

00:47:18   the same age they're gonna be the same [TS]

00:47:20   age when this but our baby is born and [TS]

00:47:22   wow look at it's right there and the [TS]

00:47:25   baby was crying and fussing and we were [TS]

00:47:27   like so are you know is it up all night [TS]

00:47:29   or what's the story and the mother very [TS]

00:47:31   confidently said well you know this [TS]

00:47:34   weekend and and you know I took next [TS]

00:47:37   week off from work so for the next week [TS]

00:47:40   or so yeah we're going to be like up in [TS]

00:47:42   the middle of the night and stuff but [TS]

00:47:43   then the baby's gonna have to get on our [TS]

00:47:45   schedule and we were both like woe and [TS]

00:47:50   she just said it like so like yep and [TS]

00:47:53   then the baby's gonna have to you know [TS]

00:47:54   babes going to figure it out and it [TS]

00:47:57   absolutely blew our minds we do you [TS]

00:47:59   think it was realistic [TS]

00:48:01   oh I mean she had two kids yeah she was [TS]

00:48:03   always something and she had people over [TS]

00:48:05   by a car that day after she had a kid [TS]

00:48:07   yeah right i'm daniel that's the part [TS]

00:48:08   that's really telling and she was run [TS]

00:48:10   the show and I was just like this idea [TS]

00:48:13   that a one week old baby is going to get [TS]

00:48:16   on your schedule and you're not going to [TS]

00:48:18   be a slave to it it's not going to wake [TS]

00:48:21   you up in the middle of the night you're [TS]

00:48:22   gonna wake it up in the middle of the [TS]

00:48:24   night it was like profound you know and [TS]

00:48:28   incompetent in contrast like the only [TS]

00:48:31   thing my daughter knows for sure is that [TS]

00:48:34   the first day of seventh grade we are [TS]

00:48:38   driving to mexico in a stolen Jeep like [TS]

00:48:43   that's the only thing that's the only [TS]

00:48:44   thing on horizon the cheek account and [TS]

00:48:49   you know and and and so far she seems [TS]

00:48:52   you know she seems fine with it i'm not [TS]

00:48:54   sure if she believed she will ever [TS]

00:48:55   believe in Santa Claus or the Easter [TS]

00:48:56   Bunny or even know what those things are [TS]

00:48:58   important because she still hasn't seen [TS]

00:49:03   a movie we watched a couple at at your [TS]

00:49:07   recommendation and Hodgins [TS]

00:49:08   recommendation we sat down and watched a [TS]

00:49:10   couple of adventure times she's a little [TS]

00:49:13   young for adventure time she is yeah and [TS]

00:49:15   but i'm not i was wrong but really I was [TS]

00:49:19   like oh my god I'm so happy [TS]

00:49:21   what is going on in this mushroom trip [TS]

00:49:23   of a cartoon is kind of know what you [TS]

00:49:24   expect right [TS]

00:49:25   no i really i really enjoyed it and I [TS]

00:49:27   looked forward to the time when she was [TS]

00:49:29   eight years old and wants to Delft back [TS]

00:49:31   into adventure time and you know and and [TS]

00:49:35   go through that world or whatever you [TS]

00:49:37   were you watching it and if i'm [TS]

00:49:39   understanding you're watching it too [TS]

00:49:40   kind of like check it out to see if it [TS]

00:49:41   might be something that your shower [TS]

00:49:43   yeah i mean almost everything that she [TS]

00:49:46   has ever seen on a screen has has sort [TS]

00:49:49   of come about as a result of either [TS]

00:49:51   going over to a friend's house where the [TS]

00:49:53   friend is watching frozen for the 40th [TS]

00:49:56   time and Marlowe will kind of sit next [TS]

00:49:59   to her friend for a while and watch some [TS]

00:50:02   portion of frozen but she gets you know [TS]

00:50:05   she her attention can't stay on it you [TS]

00:50:09   know like it will come to a song and [TS]

00:50:11   then Marlo you shall want to get up and [TS]

00:50:13   sing however or i will say I'm depriving [TS]

00:50:17   my child of this rich culture our [TS]

00:50:23   which it encyclopedia of video culture [TS]

00:50:26   and and I'll and I'll start to feel bad [TS]

00:50:29   and i'll say i need to show her some [TS]

00:50:31   things on the on TV because there's so [TS]

00:50:38   much wonderful stuff on TV and so you [TS]

00:50:43   know that's how i introduced to mr [TS]

00:50:44   Rogers and she likes mr. Rogers nice we [TS]

00:50:48   watch some some like British children's [TS]

00:50:51   television programs from the seventies [TS]

00:50:53   just because we like hearing them talk [TS]

00:50:56   usually they involve like like the main [TS]

00:51:00   characters of a man made out of a button [TS]

00:51:02   and up and a soup can because those were [TS]

00:51:06   those were hard times in England and [TS]

00:51:09   production values were very low so [TS]

00:51:12   button moon is one which is is really [TS]

00:51:16   like it's an amazing show i highly [TS]

00:51:18   recommend it's just there's a narrators [TS]

00:51:20   like here comes mr. spoon [TS]

00:51:23   he's wearing a hat and it's a spoon with [TS]

00:51:26   a with a like a UH played on its head [TS]

00:51:28   was right there on the 10 and you're [TS]

00:51:30   like wow I like that little while this [TS]

00:51:33   show really i mean yes you they don't [TS]

00:51:36   even bother concealing the fact that [TS]

00:51:38   they are controlling all the characters [TS]

00:51:40   with like popsicle sticks but then i'll [TS]

00:51:43   say like let's try adventure time let's [TS]

00:51:45   try powerpuff girls let's try we watched [TS]

00:51:48   a Mary Poppins and in general she just [TS]

00:51:55   um you know I told you we watch dumbo it [TS]

00:51:58   was it traumatized us both [TS]

00:52:00   yeah but in general it's not it's it's [TS]

00:52:03   not a because i don't i don't have a lot [TS]

00:52:08   of time watching stuff it's not it's not [TS]

00:52:13   part of her culture either great she [TS]

00:52:15   does like the ones that feeds into that [TS]

00:52:16   kind of the consistency thing [TS]

00:52:18   yeah right she we have decided that [TS]

00:52:20   watching tap dancing videos is one of [TS]

00:52:22   the things that we both enjoy and the [TS]

00:52:24   other day we were what we're watching [TS]

00:52:26   tap dancing videos and we came upon one [TS]

00:52:28   where [TS]

00:52:29   some tap guys and some Riverdance guys [TS]

00:52:33   well we're having a tap off and boy I i [TS]

00:52:40   think i could watch it again right now I [TS]

00:52:42   love me a little river dance video who [TS]

00:52:44   it was it was tapped guys and Riverdance [TS]

00:52:46   guys and the tap guys had a at a man [TS]

00:52:49   with a fedora and a saxophone and the [TS]

00:52:51   Riverdance guys had a redditor haired [TS]

00:52:53   girl with a violin and so they were like [TS]

00:52:56   trading licks and treatment aplex I [TS]

00:53:00   think everybody agreed that one of the [TS]

00:53:02   american-style tap-dance guys was like a [TS]

00:53:07   pretty tough to beat [TS]

00:53:08   but the head Riverdance guy i don't know [TS]

00:53:10   he had some of the agents grants guy i [TS]

00:53:14   don't think so i think these were you [TS]

00:53:16   know these were younger Riverdance guys [TS]

00:53:17   huh was he knows young guy young guys [TS]

00:53:20   giving each other a little bit of the [TS]

00:53:21   old razzmatazz booze but uh but yes you [TS]

00:53:27   can be good for things like that [TS]

00:53:28   oh I mean you just tap dance videos mind [TS]

00:53:31   watching watching for a thousand years [TS]

00:53:32   get a little bit of Shirley Temple you [TS]

00:53:34   get a little bit of a get a little bit [TS]

00:53:37   of like a the cast from Fame you know [TS]

00:53:42   get a slight a real slice of American [TS]

00:53:44   history huh sounds like she's this is [TS]

00:53:47   something she doesn't feel like she's [TS]

00:53:48   missing anything [TS]

00:53:49   oh no I mean I was always worried that [TS]

00:53:52   that that she was going to come to me [TS]

00:53:54   one day and just be like videos [TS]

00:53:58   what have you been doing why have you [TS]

00:54:00   been depriving me of these magical [TS]

00:54:02   things and so the first few times I [TS]

00:54:04   showed her videos [TS]

00:54:06   I you know I was watching very carefully [TS]

00:54:08   we're looking at our eyes to see if [TS]

00:54:10   there was some and I mean obviously she [TS]

00:54:13   was delighted by the moving pictures but [TS]

00:54:17   there was there was there wasn't any [TS]

00:54:21   moment where we're uh some switch was [TS]

00:54:26   flipped wear this with thistle [TS]

00:54:30   incredible world of a video production [TS]

00:54:36   was you know did she never wanted to [TS]

00:54:39   dive in it was always another [TS]

00:54:42   in the course of a day like oh and then [TS]

00:54:44   we'll watch that for 15 minutes and then [TS]

00:54:46   we'll go you know and then we'll go pull [TS]

00:54:51   of pedals off a flower whatever [TS]

00:54:53   ok so so yeah I know but it still may [TS]

00:54:57   happen you know she maybe she maybe [TS]

00:55:00   seven years old before she decides if [TS]

00:55:02   you know what it's probably going to be [TS]

00:55:03   virtual reality [TS]

00:55:05   well that's an interesting point she's [TS]

00:55:07   gonna put a VR headset on and she be [TS]

00:55:08   like wait a minute [TS]

00:55:09   nooope I don't have to stand around this [TS]

00:55:12   stupid world anymore i can go into this [TS]

00:55:14   other world our friend adjuster kisa on [TS]

00:55:17   the show we do has said in the past and [TS]

00:55:19   stuff that makes me think that he's more [TS]

00:55:20   in the nature versus nurture camp which [TS]

00:55:23   I would never have thought myself to be [TS]

00:55:24   in the camp of but the more i think [TS]

00:55:25   about it the more I see evidence that [TS]

00:55:28   that can tend to be true [TS]

00:55:30   once you start looking for it put [TS]

00:55:31   differently it's not so surprising that [TS]

00:55:34   something that you both of the parents [TS]

00:55:37   are really into become something the [TS]

00:55:39   kids are really into em conversely so [TS]

00:55:43   not just because the fortune star wars [TS]

00:55:44   down their throat but conversely [TS]

00:55:46   something that the parents just are not [TS]

00:55:47   into for any variety of reasons could [TS]

00:55:50   easily be something the kid is not that [TS]

00:55:52   into so you're suggesting a based on my [TS]

00:55:56   daughters Mother's proclivities that my [TS]

00:55:58   daughter will spend many hours a day [TS]

00:56:00   looking at bed bath and beyond catalogs [TS]

00:56:01   for the rest of your life [TS]

00:56:03   I look over my wife sometimes at night [TS]

00:56:06   and see on the ipad she's like looking [TS]

00:56:08   at a catalog sites [TS]

00:56:09   my daughter loves catalogs yeah catalogs [TS]

00:56:11   catalogs and like I mean youyou peer [TS]

00:56:15   over someone's shoulder and you think [TS]

00:56:16   like oh boy I'm gonna catch him catch [TS]

00:56:19   him looking at something on the internet [TS]

00:56:20   who's Tom and it is it's just like [TS]

00:56:24   discount per sites [TS]

00:56:26   yeah it's like wow I mean I you know I [TS]

00:56:29   have a luggage fetish myself [TS]

00:56:31   yep yep and if you look over my shoulder [TS]

00:56:33   you will catch me on some discount per [TS]

00:56:35   site so I'm not I'm not casting [TS]

00:56:38   aspersions and well in that case i mean [TS]

00:56:40   i think that the point there's the thing [TS]

00:56:43   that I feel like I think my wife would [TS]

00:56:44   agree that we post struggle with this a [TS]

00:56:45   little bit is we talk about things like [TS]

00:56:47   the screen time thing is that we both [TS]

00:56:48   really liked looking at ipads we both [TS]

00:56:51   really like you know watching top chef [TS]

00:56:53   at night or something like that and so [TS]

00:56:56   and so you know like in the case of like [TS]

00:56:58   last night we had a marathon gilmore [TS]

00:57:00   girls night we don't like to get more [TS]

00:57:01   girls which is a great show and we [TS]

00:57:03   finished off season one we started [TS]

00:57:05   season to my wife and I've seen all of [TS]

00:57:07   them least the first six seasons three [TS]

00:57:09   times so and my daughter loves it now [TS]

00:57:11   she sings along on the song so amy is it [TS]

00:57:13   surprising that like it's something we [TS]

00:57:15   all enjoy doing and what you do it but [TS]

00:57:17   then there's a long winter song and a [TS]

00:57:19   couple of Gilmore Girls episode 0 [TS]

00:57:20   remember which which song [TS]

00:57:23   no yeah be on the internet you on the OC [TS]

00:57:26   to write a couple of times that's Chris [TS]

00:57:28   supercool Maggie cause I respond respond [TS]

00:57:32   to one of my to the other day that was [TS]

00:57:33   kind of weird [TS]

00:57:33   he's a nice man he seems like a very [TS]

00:57:35   nice man yeah the times that you've [TS]

00:57:37   introduced me to him he seems like a [TS]

00:57:38   look at basically nice fellow [TS]

00:57:39   yes so that's not surprising but then [TS]

00:57:43   then now you're up against it because [TS]

00:57:45   now [TS]

00:57:46   yes we can have exactly one more gilmore [TS]

00:57:49   girls and then we've already had a bath [TS]

00:57:50   without dinner so it's definitely [TS]

00:57:51   bedtime everyone will do you 20 minutes [TS]

00:57:53   of reading we read you your 20 minutes [TS]

00:57:55   like that's the thing we do [TS]

00:57:56   yep and then and that's it but there's [TS]

00:57:59   never been a time when the credits came [TS]

00:58:01   up on anything that she was happy [TS]

00:58:02   mm-hmm shot guess guess who else was [TS]

00:58:05   exactly like that ma ma ma I want just [TS]

00:58:11   one more just one more car to one more [TS]

00:58:13   music video one more or but like who's [TS]

00:58:17   to blame because we like that too [TS]

00:58:19   yeah you know i'm just being straight-up [TS]

00:58:21   I mean yeah but like I that's that's the [TS]

00:58:24   thing [TS]

00:58:24   so you know you might not have such a [TS]

00:58:26   hard time getting her into the stolen [TS]

00:58:28   Jeep in in seventh grade will wash out [TS]

00:58:34   I you know I not to not to not to say [TS]

00:58:38   that some version of this on every [TS]

00:58:40   podcast but i was thinking about it the [TS]

00:58:41   other day in the context of the campaign [TS]

00:58:45   that I'm running that I you know I was [TS]

00:58:48   asking around like did we have iphones [TS]

00:58:49   for years ago we did what did they say i [TS]

00:58:54   think a lot of people said said yes that [TS]

00:58:56   they did I think I had 14 years ago yeah [TS]

00:58:58   I think about you but definitely not [TS]

00:59:00   eight years ago the iphone came out uh i [TS]

00:59:04   think it was eight years ago came out [TS]

00:59:06   eight years ago in [TS]

00:59:07   june was with the streets right and so [TS]

00:59:10   but you know but there was a pretty [TS]

00:59:12   weird thing that the true believers [TS]

00:59:13   bought but I think it got big like a [TS]

00:59:16   year or two after that [TS]

00:59:17   yeah and buried the 3g is the one where [TS]

00:59:19   everybody went whoa i need one of these [TS]

00:59:20   and i think my first one was a 3gs I [TS]

00:59:23   think that's nice phone that was a good [TS]

00:59:25   phone and said I mean that's that was a [TS]

00:59:26   strong phone there was a strong phone [TS]

00:59:28   and if i had never upgraded the [TS]

00:59:29   operating system i would still be using [TS]

00:59:31   it today st. sister but uh I realized [TS]

00:59:35   that you know i already had screentime [TS]

00:59:38   problems in the sense that i am I [TS]

00:59:42   continue to be astonished at how much I [TS]

00:59:44   how big a part of my life Twitter still [TS]

00:59:47   is I don't understand it it was we never [TS]

00:59:52   stop surprising you [TS]

00:59:53   yeah we predict we predicted for years [TS]

00:59:55   ago that it that that was over and it's [TS]

00:59:57   not i still am I still look at all [TS]

00:59:57   not i still am I still look at all [TS]

01:00:00   time I look at my phone all the time but [TS]

01:00:02   you know i'm running a political [TS]

01:00:04   campaign and these are some of the first [TS]

01:00:08   political campaigns that people have [TS]

01:00:09   ever run where they were campaigning 24 [TS]

01:00:12   hours a day because their phone is right [TS]

01:00:15   there and not there's no it's there's no [TS]

01:00:18   time at which somebody can't either to [TS]

01:00:24   something political at me or that I be [TS]

01:00:27   asked to respond to an email or an issue [TS]

01:00:31   its with me all the time and I think [TS]

01:00:34   back to what it must have been like to [TS]

01:00:36   run a campaign even 10 years ago when [TS]

01:00:40   you had to go sit down at your desk and [TS]

01:00:43   turn on your computer to read your [TS]

01:00:44   emails let alone 20 years ago when you [TS]

01:00:50   picked up the newspaper in the morning [TS]

01:00:51   and read the headlines and then sat down [TS]

01:00:54   at a phone and dialed people or you know [TS]

01:00:57   waited for the phone to ring and what [TS]

01:01:01   what that would have been like was that [TS]

01:01:04   if the phone wasn't ringing and your [TS]

01:01:06   name wasn't in the newspaper and you [TS]

01:01:07   weren't out actively campaigning then [TS]

01:01:09   you were off you know where you were [TS]

01:01:11   sitting at a typewriter or something you [TS]

01:01:13   you had some mental freedom from the [TS]

01:01:18   process and what what has been [TS]

01:01:22   characterizing my last three months is [TS]

01:01:23   that is total involvement 24-hour day [TS]

01:01:26   involvement in this thing that I'm doing [TS]

01:01:28   which is which has taken every last [TS]

01:01:31   shred of time always on call [TS]

01:01:34   like you almost like it just there's [TS]

01:01:36   never a time that you're probably [TS]

01:01:37   comfortable not picking up the phone to [TS]

01:01:39   see what that was right well I'm you [TS]

01:01:42   know last night in the middle of the [TS]

01:01:43   night somebody from some washington [TS]

01:01:46   state bicycle advocacy group found a [TS]

01:01:50   video of me very early on in the [TS]

01:01:53   campaign when somebody at a forum asked [TS]

01:01:56   a question where do you stand on bicycle [TS]

01:01:58   license plates and i said and i honestly [TS]

01:02:04   pictured myself on my schwinn stingray [TS]

01:02:06   with a little license plate that said [TS]

01:02:10   John [TS]

01:02:11   Washington that was held onto the back [TS]

01:02:14   of my bicycle with to twist times the [TS]

01:02:17   depth of your analysis for this ad hoc [TS]

01:02:19   I'm just thinking this in my head and I [TS]

01:02:21   was like I support bicycle licenses and [TS]

01:02:24   I look around and every other candidate [TS]

01:02:26   on the on the forum is holding up a sign [TS]

01:02:29   that says no and I'm like why not why [TS]

01:02:33   wouldn't you put license plates are [TS]

01:02:34   bicycles and the room is like boom and I [TS]

01:02:39   realized very quickly I look out in the [TS]

01:02:41   room and a couple of my supporters are [TS]

01:02:42   like shaking their heads vigorously back [TS]

01:02:44   and forth i realized that it is some [TS]

01:02:47   kind of test that people that hate bikes [TS]

01:02:51   and I don't even I can't even believe [TS]

01:02:54   that there are people that hate bikes [TS]

01:02:56   but they feel like bikes are a problem [TS]

01:02:58   they want to know so that dog whistles [TS]

01:03:01   for both sides [TS]

01:03:02   yeah the way where you come out on this [TS]

01:03:03   is I get it so that that's a pretty [TS]

01:03:07   simple question to answer you don't feel [TS]

01:03:09   yourself you know it's a trap like [TS]

01:03:10   you're walking into this thing where [TS]

01:03:12   like if how you answer that is going to [TS]

01:03:14   have a big impact on how two groups look [TS]

01:03:16   at you yeah right like oh if he wants [TS]

01:03:18   bicycle license plates then he hates [TS]

01:03:20   bicycles and it's like really I it [TS]

01:03:25   wasn't it was a new idea to me that [TS]

01:03:26   anybody hated bicycles but so somebody [TS]

01:03:30   some like Washington bicycle club [TS]

01:03:34   advocate in the middle of the night last [TS]

01:03:36   night finds the video somewhere and you [TS]

01:03:42   know caps it and start treating me [TS]

01:03:45   really John Roderick do you really think [TS]

01:03:48   that bicycles are the you know and I was [TS]

01:03:51   just like yeah well i was just on [TS]

01:03:53   Twitter just just reading some reading [TS]

01:03:56   some eugene mirman tweets and now i'm [TS]

01:03:59   like in a fist fight with somebody who [TS]

01:04:02   is mad at me about something that I you [TS]

01:04:06   know and I wrote immediately I was like [TS]

01:04:07   I got that totally wrong I didn't know [TS]

01:04:09   what that meant right it's it to quote [TS]

01:04:11   John Lennon and now it's all this I [TS]

01:04:13   didn't yeah I don't like the way we made [TS]

01:04:15   this time is dumb remark about Jesus [TS]

01:04:17   that was not really meant to say that we [TS]

01:04:19   are better than jesus i made this remark [TS]

01:04:21   and now it's all this [TS]

01:04:22   yeah yeah and now it's all this [TS]

01:04:24   and so then the but you know when [TS]

01:04:26   somebody says like I was wrong when I [TS]

01:04:29   said that um there's nothing you can do [TS]

01:04:34   except like oh okay I get it [TS]

01:04:37   and now i'm gonna send you 15 lecturing [TS]

01:04:40   tweets about what you you know about [TS]

01:04:44   what you should have known right and [TS]

01:04:45   it's like I i understand i have educated [TS]

01:04:49   myself sense then I you know I mean that [TS]

01:04:52   has happened a lot in the i have said a [TS]

01:04:55   lot of things on this podcast where I [TS]

01:04:56   got a lot of pushback from our listeners [TS]

01:04:59   and fans and then went and educated [TS]

01:05:01   myself holy god I mean I can't even tell [TS]

01:05:03   you how many times that's happened [TS]

01:05:05   yeah and I I said little but the thing [TS]

01:05:06   is here here's the part that did that [TS]

01:05:08   people miss apprehend understandably is [TS]

01:05:11   I didn't say I didn't say something dumb [TS]

01:05:13   because I was trying to be offensive [TS]

01:05:15   I said something dumb because i was [TS]

01:05:16   being dumb right and like I can grow but [TS]

01:05:19   now you have to go in public where like [TS]

01:05:21   if you don't respond to that person it [TS]

01:05:22   seems dismissive and if you do respond [TS]

01:05:24   to that person you can arguing on the [TS]

01:05:25   internet and you're just you're leaving [TS]

01:05:27   this huge trail of 22 where we can go [TS]

01:05:29   watch on servicing sensitive about this [TS]

01:05:30   page yeah yeah and and then I mean I'm [TS]

01:05:34   I'm very comfortable with the amount i [TS]

01:05:37   have learned and the amount i've had had [TS]

01:05:40   to grow up and and the role that [TS]

01:05:43   pushback from our from our listeners and [TS]

01:05:46   and super fans has has contributed to [TS]

01:05:49   that but there's always going to be [TS]

01:05:52   something that you can pull out [TS]

01:05:55   I mean you know there's always gonna be [TS]

01:05:56   something somebody can pull out from [TS]

01:05:57   this podcast and say can these guys [TS]

01:05:59   really can you really believe these guys [TS]

01:06:01   and you know what a what can we do you [TS]

01:06:05   know so it's a we were do we do it we do [TS]

01:06:09   we do now it's all that now it's all [TS]

01:06:11   this and it's like I you know and just [TS]

01:06:13   just as I mean it kinda can't have one [TS]

01:06:16   without the other way you can I want the [TS]

01:06:17   other but any one of the rare ways in [TS]

01:06:20   which i am becoming slightly more [TS]

01:06:21   healthy as a person i think is that I it [TS]

01:06:25   may not always show but i find myself [TS]

01:06:27   much more forgiving of stuff stupid [TS]

01:06:31   stuff I see happen [TS]

01:06:33   how to remove yep really know like look [TS]

01:06:35   stupid shit happens people do stupid [TS]

01:06:36   stuff i mean it [TS]

01:06:37   whatever I get why people pylon Donald [TS]

01:06:40   Trump because he is a farcical character [TS]

01:06:42   who clearly takes a certain amount of [TS]

01:06:44   relish and I'm gonna use a word i almost [TS]

01:06:46   never use people use it wrong people say [TS]

01:06:48   trolling all the time when they mean [TS]

01:06:50   teasing or baiting he's trolling people [TS]

01:06:52   he's deliberately trying to say [TS]

01:06:54   something extremely controversial [TS]

01:06:55   because the more people talk about him [TS]

01:06:57   the more real he seems so I mean it's [TS]

01:06:59   setting setting that aside I mean it's [TS]

01:07:02   just the I guess I feel like I I don't [TS]

01:07:05   know it's too late to say this it's too [TS]

01:07:07   late but like I i feel i feel pretty bad [TS]

01:07:11   about a lot of dumb stuff I've said but [TS]

01:07:13   you know I also realize that those words [TS]

01:07:16   and they came out and I change and like [TS]

01:07:18   I want to believe the other people with [TS]

01:07:19   the same way to yeah yeah i agree just [TS]

01:07:21   because of political correctness but [TS]

01:07:23   because of growing as a person [TS]

01:07:24   there's all kinds of stuff whether [TS]

01:07:25   that's 40 years ago or a month ago [TS]

01:07:28   there's all kinds of stuff that I don't [TS]

01:07:29   just that it's not just that I'm not [TS]

01:07:30   saying it because I don't wanna be [TS]

01:07:31   offensive [TS]

01:07:32   I'm not saying because i think it's not [TS]

01:07:33   true and i realize that there's more to [TS]

01:07:34   it than just those words right and I [TS]

01:07:36   wish everybody got that same break [TS]

01:07:38   well i think you know hopefully they [TS]

01:07:41   will I mean there's there there are a [TS]

01:07:43   lot of us that have grown a lot in the [TS]

01:07:45   last few years and there there's a lot [TS]

01:07:47   of people you know I mean you can only [TS]

01:07:50   the only party to punish people so far [TS]

01:07:54   before you have to sort of live with [TS]

01:07:56   them again but you know what i do wanna [TS]

01:07:58   hear more about the campaign if you have [TS]

01:07:59   time but like here's another part of [TS]

01:08:02   that is that you know you you must get [TS]

01:08:05   this because i know i get this i [TS]

01:08:06   actually I i get a surprisingly small [TS]

01:08:08   amount of generally obnoxious stuff [TS]

01:08:10   thrown at me I feel very fortunate but [TS]

01:08:12   sometimes there will be you know what [TS]

01:08:15   happens is like I'll say something or [TS]

01:08:17   somebody heard I said something somebody [TS]

01:08:19   else mentions that third hand they [TS]

01:08:21   didn't hear the context and so of course [TS]

01:08:22   now i'm hitler like that that happens [TS]

01:08:25   whatever that you know I think that [TS]

01:08:26   happens but i think part of it is the [TS]

01:08:28   environment where like you described [TS]

01:08:32   with the last week or the week before [TS]

01:08:33   you describe being in a situation where [TS]

01:08:35   like all the insiders and politics are [TS]

01:08:38   interested in what you say but they're [TS]

01:08:40   super interested in like who you hang [TS]

01:08:42   out with because that's that's how we [TS]

01:08:43   can really tell but basically I don't [TS]

01:08:46   overstate this but basically implying [TS]

01:08:48   that hey we're all just a bunch of liars [TS]

01:08:49   on one level [TS]

01:08:50   another haha and so I wonder part of it [TS]

01:08:53   is people are so people understand how [TS]

01:08:56   what's the word I'm looking for [TS]

01:08:59   how how many demagogues are out there [TS]

01:09:02   people who are artfully putting together [TS]

01:09:04   a certain kinds of polemical and hurtful [TS]

01:09:11   things by design because they know [TS]

01:09:13   they're trying to reach a certain group [TS]

01:09:15   there are other people who speak in a [TS]

01:09:17   code that pretty much everybody knows [TS]

01:09:19   right [TS]

01:09:20   hmm i mean is is the Confederate battle [TS]

01:09:22   flag really about heritage maybe you but [TS]

01:09:25   it's not really it's kind of really [TS]

01:09:26   about heritage that the Heritage easy [TS]

01:09:28   used on black people like what we you [TS]

01:09:30   know get past that like but like that is [TS]

01:09:33   that something you can say that a coded [TS]

01:09:35   statement you talk about you know urban [TS]

01:09:37   urban people when you talk about all [TS]

01:09:39   these things so i guess i want to get [TS]

01:09:40   someone in your opinion on this because [TS]

01:09:41   you're living it now is it like how much [TS]

01:09:43   of that is just the rhetoric of being in [TS]

01:09:47   public as a public person or maybe [TS]

01:09:49   people are so accustomed to everybody [TS]

01:09:51   out there having some brand that they're [TS]

01:09:54   trying to portray and deliberately [TS]

01:09:56   choosing the awful things that they say [TS]

01:09:58   you think you're getting too hard with [TS]

01:09:59   that you know how hard my use of the [TS]

01:10:01   word tar the it's it's two things that [TS]

01:10:06   and i think one of them politics is [TS]

01:10:08   always a rhetorical place where where [TS]

01:10:11   you're trying to catch the other guy [TS]

01:10:14   with their pants down you're trying to [TS]

01:10:16   trying to turn their words against them [TS]

01:10:20   you know you think about think about [TS]

01:10:22   politics all the way back it's it's one [TS]

01:10:26   of the number one ways you run against [TS]

01:10:29   somebody is to is to try and portray [TS]

01:10:34   someone who is ultimately another person [TS]

01:10:38   of good will who is trying to help other [TS]

01:10:40   people by serving in the democratic [TS]

01:10:44   process and you turn that person into a [TS]

01:10:48   repository of everyone's fears and [TS]

01:10:51   hatreds by like a heatsink you become [TS]

01:10:54   like you know for that for your [TS]

01:10:55   Orwellian moment of hate [TS]

01:10:57   yeah the idea that you could Swift Boat [TS]

01:10:59   John Kerry who [TS]

01:11:01   do you know who went to Vietnam and [TS]

01:11:04   fought nobly and that you could turn [TS]

01:11:09   that against him and that his opponent [TS]

01:11:13   would be a guy would be a rich kid who [TS]

01:11:16   dodged service in Vietnam by joining the [TS]

01:11:21   national guard and not even fulfilling [TS]

01:11:22   his commitment but that he could be [TS]

01:11:26   perceived as the better candidate [TS]

01:11:28   because John Kerry you know in all on [TS]

01:11:31   some River in Vietnam you miss reported [TS]

01:11:36   that what what what his role in a battle [TS]

01:11:39   was I mean that's just the that's just [TS]

01:11:43   the political process and it's insane [TS]

01:11:45   and it doesn't bear any relationship to [TS]

01:11:47   reality and and it's unfortunate but [TS]

01:11:51   it's real right and so there's that [TS]

01:11:54   which you know which I can't do anything [TS]

01:11:59   about and none of us can so you just [TS]

01:12:01   have to accept the things you cannot [TS]

01:12:05   change and have the courage to change [TS]

01:12:07   the things you can [TS]

01:12:08   the what makes it different now is that [TS]

01:12:12   that rhetorical that rhetorical culture [TS]

01:12:17   has expanded out into the world at large [TS]

01:12:21   and normal people are sitting on the [TS]

01:12:26   internet and using those same techniques [TS]

01:12:30   to turn other normal people into the [TS]

01:12:35   opposition or the enemy you know and and [TS]

01:12:38   and like you say it is a we've spent a [TS]

01:12:42   lot of time removing words from our [TS]

01:12:46   lexicon but we haven't but removing [TS]

01:12:50   those words hasn't successfully removed [TS]

01:12:51   the underlying thoughts and prejudices [TS]

01:12:54   it's almost like you [TS]

01:12:55   it's almost like thinking that taking [TS]

01:12:57   the book out the dictionary means people [TS]

01:12:59   will understand what it means anymore [TS]

01:13:01   yeah so now we have to decode what it [TS]

01:13:04   means part that's the biggest problem [TS]

01:13:06   yeah just David Duke can speak without [TS]

01:13:09   using racial slurs but you know what he [TS]

01:13:12   means [TS]

01:13:13   and you know and evangelicals are always [TS]

01:13:16   speaking to one another in kind of coded [TS]

01:13:18   language so that you know that you're [TS]

01:13:19   you know who you're dealing with it i [TS]

01:13:21   mean there's all the family values [TS]

01:13:22   yeah there are all these language codes [TS]

01:13:24   now and so where we are we're forced to [TS]

01:13:28   decode one another but that we're also [TS]

01:13:32   applying this kind of political this [TS]

01:13:37   political matrix to just what are normal [TS]

01:13:42   conversation somebody goes online and [TS]

01:13:44   says like I had a you know I met if I [TS]

01:13:47   met somebody today she was so basic and [TS]

01:13:50   then it's like wait a minutes you know [TS]

01:13:52   using that is classes and all that you [TS]

01:13:55   know an end and then that political [TS]

01:13:57   attack comes and it takes the it takes [TS]

01:14:01   the form of like i'm going to i'm i'm a [TS]

01:14:04   i'm both going to try and educate this [TS]

01:14:06   person but also discredit them and [TS]

01:14:09   silence them and you know it's all that [TS]

01:14:11   which comes from our political culture [TS]

01:14:13   and now is just infiltrated our daily [TS]

01:14:16   lives and so there's a lot of that [TS]

01:14:19   coming from just daily life people back [TS]

01:14:23   into politics right i mean i'm running [TS]

01:14:26   and it's not just a super PAC that is [TS]

01:14:30   going to Swift Boat me it's somebody [TS]

01:14:33   that disagreed with something i said on [TS]

01:14:36   the podcast and chose to interpret a [TS]

01:14:41   certain way and then decides that [TS]

01:14:44   independently they are going to be a [TS]

01:14:46   flaming sword that alerts the world to [TS]

01:14:50   the fact that i am a i'm a bad candidate [TS]

01:14:52   in a bad man and then you know and so so [TS]

01:14:57   yeah I i do feel i do feel that there's [TS]

01:15:02   there's a lot more of that to come in my [TS]

01:15:03   campaign there will be people that that [TS]

01:15:07   that come out of the woodwork and say [TS]

01:15:12   like [TS]

01:15:15   I used to be a fan but then one time [TS]

01:15:18   John Roderick didn't reply to my email [TS]

01:15:21   fast enough right and then I realized [TS]

01:15:24   that he was a narcissist and and and [TS]

01:15:29   he's you know covered in white privilege [TS]

01:15:32   and so I've made it my personal mission [TS]

01:15:34   to destroy him and you know everybody's [TS]

01:15:38   got the same resources now everybody's [TS]

01:15:40   got access to the same communication [TS]

01:15:43   channels it just you just keep lobbying [TS]

01:15:47   dirt clods that somebody until one of [TS]

01:15:50   them sticks you know and you don't you [TS]

01:15:52   don't get any extra credit for not doing [TS]

01:15:53   that right or do you mean personally 11 [TS]

01:15:59   that does not participate in that [TS]

01:16:00   particular form of mudslinging is does [TS]

01:16:02   you don't get credit for not doing that [TS]

01:16:04   to you know i don't think so i don't [TS]

01:16:05   think so i mean iĆ­ve said that I want [TS]

01:16:08   to run a clean campaign and I get a lot [TS]

01:16:10   of pressure from my own team to [TS]

01:16:13   challenge my opponent on his record and [TS]

01:16:18   when i do uh when I do I'm uh you know [TS]

01:16:28   people that are fans of mine say I [TS]

01:16:30   thought you were gonna run a clean [TS]

01:16:31   campaign so you know uh there's a lot of [TS]

01:16:37   there's a lot of time between a rock and [TS]

01:16:42   a hard place I've got I've got people [TS]

01:16:44   who think that me running a clean [TS]

01:16:46   campaign means that i never say anything [TS]

01:16:48   about my opponent except that I think [TS]

01:16:50   he's a nice guy and I spend all my time [TS]

01:16:53   I da ting up in the clouds and then my [TS]

01:16:57   own staff is screaming at me to to get [TS]

01:17:05   in the press and make it and [TS]

01:17:06   differentiate myself from my opponent [TS]

01:17:08   and you know you gotta do you gotta do [TS]

01:17:13   both and I try not to be personal but [TS]

01:17:16   ultimately ultimately the be the attacks [TS]

01:17:19   against me probably aren't going to come [TS]

01:17:22   from my opponent they're probably going [TS]

01:17:24   to come from [TS]

01:17:25   somebody on the internet somebody that [TS]

01:17:29   you know that that is angry at me for [TS]

01:17:33   for the way I talk and the way I am and [TS]

01:17:38   the way I've lived and and has decided [TS]

01:17:41   that it's their mission you know people [TS]

01:17:43   have people have a have Crusades that [TS]

01:17:47   will get them a lot less attention then [TS]

01:17:50   going after me in public you know I mean [TS]

01:17:53   that's a that's a real opportunity for [TS]

01:17:55   somebody if they want to forget about [TS]

01:17:57   what three more weeks three more weeks [TS]

01:18:00   before the prime area who along three [TS]

01:18:03   weeks huh boy I'll say that was weird [TS]

01:18:14   kind of it [TS]