Roderick on the Line

Ep. 144: "Gravy Fountain"

 

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  sponsored by foremost a small batch [TS]

  american-made clothing line for men and [TS]

  women from the same folks who brought [TS]

  you need edition see this month's [TS]

  inaugural collection and learn more at [TS]

  foremost edition dot-com [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello a John hi Merlin has it going good [TS]

  so good I'm so grateful to you for [TS]

  sometimes being willing to push all I [TS]

  can push you push and and sometimes you [TS]

  know there's a part of me that says [TS]

  don't don't stay on target [TS]

  mhm stay on target I just want to bring [TS]

  out the best in you [TS]

  yeah but pushing sometimes helps yeah i [TS]

  was on my way in today and you know of [TS]

  course i only have an AM radio in my [TS]

  truck and so I'm listening to the radio [TS]

  station kxi which was my dad's radio [TS]

  station they used to play like a steady [TS]

  diet of just the once we got your Frank [TS]

  Sinatra music yeah just the big bands [TS]

  just the blue hair the blue hairs but [TS]

  all those people are dead now [TS]

  yeah and so the radio station still [TS]

  exists and I've seen this before with [TS]

  radio radio station sort of play [TS]

  what do they call it the the demographic [TS]

  rotation [TS]

  mmm yeah radio station called demo well [TS]

  but I'm talking about like the music [TS]

  that they play on a radio station is [TS]

  called the programming programming and [TS]

  the programming has switched i'm driving [TS]

  in and the djs talking to me and he says [TS]

  he says you know there are a lot of [TS]

  differences between men and women did [TS]

  you know men are more likely to be [TS]

  colorblind huh [TS]

  this is john tesh for kxi radio and the [TS]

  DJ is John Tesh what [TS]

  yeah I was like a day like a franchise [TS]

  kinda do know he's these give he's [TS]

  giving the call signs for pre-k ixi and [TS]

  that's why I listen to him for a while [TS]

  and he's like Barry Manilow is the music [TS]

  of our generation [TS]

  it's just I was like what generation is [TS]

  he talking about [TS]

  right right like this was the radio [TS]

  station of the of the greatest [TS]

  generation who are all gone and so now [TS]

  it's been it's been replaced [TS]

  they've likes these people have kind of [TS]

  stepped in and taken over and they're [TS]

  not i don't think the baby boomers would [TS]

  characterize Barry Manilow as the music [TS]

  of their generation [TS]

  no I don't think they would I don't [TS]

  think they even if they like Barry [TS]

  Manilow I don't think that's the example [TS]

  they were probably right so so who is he [TS]

  talking to [TS]

  I don't know the radio seems i guess [TS]

  it's always been a strange thing but it [TS]

  really it seems so odd now listen mostly [TS]

  to public radio or on the radio and [TS]

  sometimes will flip over and I first of [TS]

  all just the commercials are so [TS]

  depressing [TS]

  that's it did you get that on your ka ax [TS]

  I question the commercials are going to [TS]

  be very depressing on kxi because [TS]

  they're mostly for like ensure the like [TS]

  vitamin enriched oh yeah sure why I feel [TS]

  like I hear a lot of like financial [TS]

  desperation and oh right that's it [TS]

  that's it that's a pretty big one losing [TS]

  your home [TS]

  uhm yeah there's all payday loans and [TS]

  stuff like that but that's and that's [TS]

  you know typical daytime fair but it's [TS]

  strange I mean I too amazing to think [TS]

  how much that industry must have changed [TS]

  but we've got a station here that I like [TS]

  a lot i like a lot [TS]

  it's very funny and for some reason it [TS]

  did the entire concept of the station to [TS]

  light the lights me you know i got quite [TS]

  tower here you have a station called [TS]

  Khao IIT 98.5 kiddo I t an FM station [TS]

  whose primary arm claim to fame is it [TS]

  claims to be the station that everybody [TS]

  can listen to it work [TS]

  oh right because it never says anything [TS]

  your place anything sketchy [TS]

  yeah it's all it's all its it's [TS]

  basically and it's funny is if you're in [TS]

  an elevator or a waiting room or [TS]

  anywhere where there is a radio playing [TS]

  its probably koma relaxing [TS]

  yeah I feel like k KX I is the used to [TS]

  be that for sure you know they would [TS]

  maybe they play the lady is a tramp [TS]

  which would be no singed some eyebrows [TS]

  selassie but uh but now this this this [TS]

  change in programming to reflect the [TS]

  musical tastes of a generation I can't [TS]

  quite put my finger on [TS]

  they do play the lady is a tramp but [TS]

  it's some later version of us [TS]

  oh where it's like hate California it's [TS]

  cold and it's damn that is it mr. [TS]

  Sinatra well no it's a mean that it's an [TS]

  imitation of him but it's like the [TS]

  instrumentation is a little bit more [TS]

  little bit more good Vegas see tubular [TS]

  bells II and and ended some I don't know [TS]

  I can't [TS]

  it's like is there actually a generation [TS]

  in between i know there is a generation [TS]

  in between the am between the the world [TS]

  war two generation and the baby boomer [TS]

  generation better that that think of [TS]

  themselves as a kind of lost or silent [TS]

  generation but are they big enough to to [TS]

  justify a radio station [TS]

  yeah when you have to imagine that all [TS]

  the decision-making that goes into that [TS]

  is extremely market-driven and it's been [TS]

  particular i mean i don't mean I'm just [TS]

  cynical but I i would have to guess that [TS]

  the greatest boon for any radio station [TS]

  is to very clearly be able to identify [TS]

  who's listening and I'll say one thing [TS]

  you know one thing that makes that hard [TS]

  today is when they do things like [TS]

  surveys first of all people love surveys [TS]

  not only talking about your soul sunday [TS]

  are so it serves you right excuse to [TS]

  like it so now it's the thing we can [TS]

  measure you know but also you know [TS]

  they're the ones who have home telephone [TS]

  lines so when you call they pick up the [TS]

  phone and we'll answer [TS]

  mhm these kids today they don't do that [TS]

  you can't call them on their on their [TS]

  selfie sticks and I just Instagram on [TS]

  her selfie stick [TS]

  sender I'm sorry meeting a little bit of [TS]

  frozen bacon [TS]

  how is it well I didn't realize that it [TS]

  was going to create such a saucy of [TS]

  sound I have these up ten ships [TS]

  we don't usually eat on the program know [TS]

  your dirty dirty brand potato chips [TS]

  there that's the brand 30 brand dirty [TS]

  with me [TS]

  missing quotes more momentum dirty [TS]

  I don't know they're pretty bland I [TS]

  gotta get this thing Lady and the Tramp [TS]

  em or do you just not equal that you [TS]

  think that really makes her a tramp just [TS]

  because she what is she she eats early [TS]

  yeah she goes two ballgames the [TS]

  bleachers are fine [TS]

  yeah you won't go to Harlem in our minds [TS]

  and first right [TS]

  right Carl's yeah i don't know i think [TS]

  it down set that's you know what that's [TS]

  an early example of someone really [TS]

  purposing a slur [TS]

  oh you like a queer thing that's an [TS]

  early example of somebody saying you're [TS]

  gonna call me a tramp i'll show you one [TS]

  of the trap is that's this is why I'm a [TS]

  tramp because i'm going down to struggle [TS]

  who think once we get that one version [TS]

  your losses weird at their seams don't [TS]

  know this is a trend or a mini trend but [TS]

  if you seen where some popular pop [TS]

  artists re-recording their songs so I'm [TS]

  going so they're out of their [TS]

  contractual obligation [TS]

  maybe I think even more to the point [TS]

  though and the one thing in particular [TS]

  can i think i actually get by this jeff [TS]

  lynne like meticulously recorded a ton [TS]

  of elo songs really [TS]

  mhm and I think I think it's so that he [TS]

  gets the rights to those songs for those [TS]

  kinds of production things like you know [TS]

  he probably his catalogue was probably [TS]

  owned by whatever epic or whatever a [TS]

  long time ago [TS]

  yeah well it said that's absolutely why [TS]

  they re-recorded and then and then you [TS]

  own the whole you on the recording you [TS]

  know every recording has the ownership [TS]

  of every recording has two sides [TS]

  I you know what you've explained this to [TS]

  me lots of people have explained to me i [TS]

  still find incredibly badly only knows [TS]

  the people who write the music and then [TS]

  on the publishing other ones to make the [TS]

  money that's all I know [TS]

  yeah right but this they they split up [TS]

  into two hundred percent [TS]

  and-and-and-and literally when you talk [TS]

  about it seems sustainable good time [TS]

  music music publishing you're talking [TS]

  about two hundred percent there's a [TS]

  hundred percent of the recording and [TS]

  there's a hundred percent of the writing [TS]

  and uh and you can own the you can own [TS]

  the recording and the writer owns the [TS]

  song but if the only recording is the [TS]

  it's the only way the song exists in the [TS]

  recording [TS]

  oh so that's why something from the new [TS]

  world record or whatever could be owned [TS]

  by owns the epic but I forget whatever [TS]

  it is label was owns the actual [TS]

  recording that make it used in a [TS]

  commercial right [TS]

  the master i get it and so that's [TS]

  usually means the producer or the music [TS]

  company announced it [TS]

  well that's the that's the thing it's [TS]

  whoever whoever gives you the money to [TS]

  record it traditionally or the man ran [TS]

  this race or whoever like you know [TS]

  shouldered his way in there and said [TS]

  listen kid if you want to make it in [TS]

  this business you're gonna give me some [TS]

  percentage of your animated a lot of [TS]

  that was a lot of those people like [TS]

  actually shoulder their way and so [TS]

  you're gonna give me a percentage of the [TS]

  songwriting oh yeah but but definitely [TS]

  if the if the label paid for you to go [TS]

  into the studio then they traditionally [TS]

  consider themselves on the master okay [TS]

  squeezed it squeeze a like you know [TS]

  again it's it's part of the sound of 27 [TS]

  yeah it'sit's almost in completely [TS]

  identical wow yeah I mean that would be [TS]

  a fun exercise because he's pretty [TS]

  joyless to me but just I mean I from a [TS]

  recording standpoint like they're you [TS]

  know that i was saying about this the [TS]

  other day I was talking to our friend [TS]

  joko and recalling that the first real [TS]

  professional nerds that I knew were were [TS]

  audio nerds and it was before there was [TS]

  a kind of nerd but they it was before [TS]

  nerd was a was a revolution in our minds [TS]

  but like audio nerds are just another [TS]

  form of nerd [TS]

  and are just exactly they they are just [TS]

  personality wise and in every other [TS]

  respect very similar to computer nerds [TS]

  and firm an audio nerd standpoint to sit [TS]

  there and try and match exactly the [TS]

  sound of a classic album [TS]

  oh my god they just be spewing all over [TS]

  themselves [TS]

  yeah like that guy from that one band [TS]

  that work with Brian Wilson on smile [TS]

  maybe they did a reconstruction smiles [TS]

  that one guy from that pop and his name [TS]

  is forget but he worked very closely [TS]

  with the the brian wilson people to come [TS]

  up with two 'totally recorded version of [TS]

  smile as it could've been Wow [TS]

  yeah right that that's that does seem [TS]

  like that seems like a very fascinating [TS]

  thing that's a real murder but the thing [TS]

  is what you know the combination of [TS]

  being thinking like almost like a John [TS]

  Brian Anderson me like somebody who [TS]

  really loves the songs but all enemy [TS]

  knows every or like yeah like God like [TS]

  Jim on the on the cruise this kind of [TS]

  people who have an ear for like every [TS]

  little nook and cranny of a song but [TS]

  also then the challenge of trying to [TS]

  make it sound like it was recorded 40 [TS]

  years ago must be really enticing it's [TS]

  it's it's incredible and just in the [TS]

  sense of like the the audio chain of [TS]

  which microphone which preamp which [TS]

  compressor which amplifier would Howard [TS]

  all those things set and every single [TS]

  one of those things if it varies even [TS]

  slightly changes the tone and so to go [TS]

  back and eat first of all you have to do [TS]

  the research what Mike's were they using [TS]

  you know and then go get those mics at [TS]

  any at any expense like already it's [TS]

  exciting and then put those things in a [TS]

  room and the room is going to change the [TS]

  sound so you have to go back to the [TS]

  original studio [TS]

  I mean oh I'm i can't have and I'm [TS]

  turgid with excitement really that would [TS]

  appeal to you in just because you would [TS]

  do all that you would do everything [TS]

  right and then you would a be the guitar [TS]

  sound right to left and it wouldn't [TS]

  sound the same [TS]

  yeah and then you just be like more and [TS]

  at that point i would at that point i [TS]

  would have nothing more to offer right i [TS]

  would have been excited about finding [TS]

  the mics in the room and the guitars and [TS]

  yeah but then comes the drudgery and [TS]

  performances I mean most people's voices [TS]

  sound pretty different after 10 or 15 [TS]

  years [TS]

  yeah well it's 30 years but but again I [TS]

  would be engaged in that after the after [TS]

  the engineers had gone through and set [TS]

  said are you gonna have to notch 4k [TS]

  about to you know bebes no wait a minute [TS]

  wait let's what let's bring that back [TS]

  when you know laughter they did all that [TS]

  and got the tones then to go back in and [TS]

  sit and try and duplicate your vocal [TS]

  performance from from 30 years are [TS]

  linked two lifetimes and that would be [TS]

  that would be also very fun you know who [TS]

  but that but his this is the thing [TS]

  what this is is an example another [TS]

  example I mean I i agree with our I [TS]

  understand the the impulse to we record [TS]

  that stuff and take the money back from [TS]

  the from the man it's a very it's very [TS]

  pretty cool especially especially today [TS]

  my gosh yeah every Prince like thing to [TS]

  do [TS]

  mhm but it's also another example of a [TS]

  thing where you are still musician [TS]

  you're in middle age or late middle age [TS]

  and you want to do you want to find [TS]

  anything other than to write ten good [TS]

  new songs you want to find anything to [TS]

  do any kind of busy worker like just as [TS]

  a purely artistic distraction yeah [TS]

  you're just like you're moving deck [TS]

  chairs around you are stacking andrey [TS]

  stacking three-by-five cards of and you [TS]

  and it's just like I know you know this [TS]

  is why all these bands to an album of [TS]

  covers over but if you could go and say [TS]

  like you know what we really need to do [TS]

  let's stop work on this new record [TS]

  that's really be doubling US and go back [TS]

  and reread meticulously recorded our old [TS]

  records just to complete a complete like [TS]

  busywork [TS]

  well you know I don't have the numbers [TS]

  in front of me but just anecdotally [TS]

  today it seems like there's so much [TS]

  I guess that I guess the stuff that you [TS]

  know you can sell this stuff that sold [TS]

  in the past right so you do the [TS]

  remastering do the box that I mean it's [TS]

  but that's not even that new of a thing [TS]

  I mean in the nineties it was all about [TS]

  the box sets where you got to get all [TS]

  the stuff that you already have a vinyl [TS]

  that you know and in CD so to make that [TS]

  enticing like for example like the Beach [TS]

  Boys Pet Sounds box is actually really [TS]

  good box because there's tons of of [TS]

  great you know extra vocals and isolated [TS]

  tracks and I i love that now that was a [TS]

  great christmas present in 1995 or [TS]

  whatever but I'm but funny yellow in [TS]

  particular I in my years of like you [TS]

  know spending so many hours in record [TS]

  stores like going through the entire the [TS]

  entire store looking at every album make [TS]

  I knew the names you know of [TS]

  even I never heard them I knew which [TS]

  bands do which albums I can't tell which [TS]

  ones are popular but even then yellow in [TS]

  like the late seventies early eighties [TS]

  mid-eighties especially there were so [TS]

  many yellow compilations even then I [TS]

  mean they hadn't had like I don't think [TS]

  monster hit since probably 1982 yeah [TS]

  everybody was the last big hold on tight [TS]

  song maybe like I don't think they had [TS]

  that many new songs that was 31 30 years [TS]

  ago [TS]

  yeah it's not amazing well but you know [TS]

  those box sets with all the extra bonus [TS]

  tracks and the 25 different versions of [TS]

  tax man and so forth I mean those things [TS]

  are great they're great for for the [TS]

  beatles that's that's pretty I mean that [TS]

  and he actually hear how different and [TS]

  your bird can sing could sound is pretty [TS]

  fascinating of the really amazing song [TS]

  you've heard hundred times it's totally [TS]

  amazing except that in the itunes era [TS]

  what that we live in now basically i [TS]

  find i find that you know that in the CD [TS]

  era where you put that are be like oh my [TS]

  god listen to this [TS]

  I'm it it made sense to me but if you [TS]

  just rip all that stuff like into itunes [TS]

  with no distinction right then you're in [TS]

  it in that posture where you're here you [TS]

  like you're making dinner and you turn [TS]

  on your music and you here in the course [TS]

  of an hour for versions of annular can [TS]

  sing all of them slightly different or [TS]

  you put your headphones on and you're [TS]

  like I'm Melissa this is really working [TS]

  mix it's not at the shuffling it's bad [TS]

  for mixing right and I and I'm sure that [TS]

  that itunes masters who manage their [TS]

  playlists don't have this problem [TS]

  because they just manage it but it's [TS]

  hard though I another level of [TS]

  management United I know your attacker [TS]

  and I've been a tagger I will you know [TS]

  look at the databases that are out there [TS]

  for the best possible version but you [TS]

  know again just not not how people [TS]

  listen to music look at the website [TS]

  right now that I feel like you should [TS]

  know about if you don't know about [TS]

  already [TS]

  it's called albums that never were you [TS]

  ever seen this road well I've never seen [TS]

  albums that never work got dark [TS]

  blogspot.com by checking on its this guy [TS]

  is primarily this one guy although he [TS]

  does put up other people's happens and [TS]

  it's given the available material the [TS]

  best like reconstruction possible of [TS]

  certain classic albums that never [TS]

  existed like a lonely years of the who [TS]

  with who is for tennis which are the [TS]

  1968 album and it's got stuff like [TS]

  fortune-teller it's got magic bus it's [TS]

  got home but basically like what if an [TS]

  album you know there's no those classic [TS]

  albums that like smile right within [TS]

  other ones like a really good one that [TS]

  got is the weezer record that they [TS]

  wanted to do that kind of what what [TS]

  became Pinkerton but was named rivers [TS]

  cuomo that his name is gonna pop is that [TS]

  his name [TS]

  you have his picture in your wallet or [TS]

  something called the river phoenix I get [TS]

  confused that it was that was before I [TS]

  think this before i went to Harvard and [TS]

  but anyway you should check this out [TS]

  it's a lot of 60 stuff [TS]

  well first let me point out let me point [TS]

  out i don't know but of course of course [TS]

  this website is being maintained by an [TS]

  Italian [TS]

  because that is the most Italian thing [TS]

  in the world has is to is to have not [TS]

  you know that when you go to Europe and [TS]

  you go to an italian record store and [TS]

  there are pretty much I mean if you go [TS]

  to if you look in the Nirvana section in [TS]

  an Italian record store there will be [TS]

  four hundred records like the length and [TS]

  they're all bootlegs or you know or like [TS]

  double triple bootlegs right i mean [TS]

  somehow the the record collector [TS]

  mentality in Italy really is is a bit is [TS]

  obsessive in a different way and they [TS]

  and and they will commercially because [TS]

  the copyright laws somehow are different [TS]

  or at least used to be different though [TS]

  commercially publish all this stuff [TS]

  where you know somebody else till [TS]

  Christmas villages Walkman who off of a [TS]

  table in a cafe and then they'll publish [TS]

  that as a Nirvana what you know the [TS]

  published the tape that's going to get [TS]

  away with it and they get away with it [TS]

  right so there's all this fascinating [TS]

  stuff in record stores in Italy but this [TS]

  guy i'm pretty sure is Italian [TS]

  his name is sonic love knowing sonic [TS]

  love noise but with the Z instead of him [TS]

  and all of his writing is without [TS]

  capitalization it's all like no capitals [TS]

  here's one vendor vana called sheep [TS]

  reconstruction of the unreleased 1997 [TS]

  album sheep essentially the precursor to [TS]

  what would eventually be nevermind [TS]

  well you know I actually had that [TS]

  cassette [TS]

  Wow there was a girl named Lily who I [TS]

  dated for a little while in about [TS]

  1990-91 she has she had [TS]

  short red hair very short like pixie cut [TS]

  out here and sort of um what kind of red [TS]

  it's that that light light red hair like [TS]

  strawberry blonde strawberry blonde [TS]

  that's what I'm trying [TS]

  hmm and she had a tattoo of a lily on [TS]

  her shoulder which I complimented her on [TS]

  I when we first met I said oh nice [TS]

  lily and your name is Lily and she [TS]

  turned we didn't know each other at this [TS]

  point she turns she was like it's the [TS]

  stupidest tattoo ever I totally regret [TS]

  it I was an idiot i was like 'oh little [TS]

  bit honest i'm going to talk to you a [TS]

  little bit more [TS]

  Lily worked at a bookstore that was [TS]

  owned by a guy who was a pervert was one [TS]

  of those bookstores was full of cats and [TS]

  all the employees were 20 year old girls [TS]

  and he was like a kind of look like Van [TS]

  Morrison and I I don't really know this [TS]

  guy [TS]

  Yeah right right he's a tight yeah and [TS]

  the bookstore kind of smells like cat [TS]

  pee and it and everywhere he's dander [TS]

  covered and but he's always but all of [TS]

  his employees are are like sophomores in [TS]

  college and he was always trying to get [TS]

  Lily slowly was a was like a combat [TS]

  boots and baby doll dress early nineties [TS]

  person prefers and he would he would [TS]

  come to and he'd say like I know the [TS]

  people you know like he was connected [TS]

  somehow to left bank books in Paris or [TS]

  whatever the you know the Shakespeare [TS]

  and company he was connected to those [TS]

  people and he was like let's just get [TS]

  out of here let's just you know I've got [TS]

  I've got $80,000 in a shoebox you and me [TS]

  let's just go to Paris and Lily was like [TS]

  you're a creep [TS]

  and so he was be would ply her with [TS]

  gifts and one day she climbed in the [TS]

  window of my apartment she was like [TS]

  you've got to hear this and it was it [TS]

  was a cassette of all the demos for [TS]

  nevermind which I assume was this thing [TS]

  you're that this guy's talking about the [TS]

  whatever the third their smile right [TS]

  smile smile [TS]

  well completely different versions of [TS]

  every tune and this bookstore guy had [TS]

  acquired this amount given it to Lily as [TS]

  a enticement for her to run away to [TS]

  Paris with him and she brought it over [TS]

  to my house and we SAT and listened to [TS]

  this cassette over and over and never [TS]

  mind had only been out you know a few [TS]

  months at this point and it was there [TS]

  was a total revelation to hear those [TS]

  tracks done differently and at the time [TS]

  this cassette seemed like one of what [TS]

  would only have been 20 of these things [TS]

  that were in existence [TS]

  you know like it like it should be worth [TS]

  of a million dollars and I in them in [TS]

  the ethics that were in operation at the [TS]

  time I considered stealing it from my [TS]

  girlfriend [TS]

  oh that good is that it was that [TS]

  important if L it less good it felt it [TS]

  felt that important and then and then I [TS]

  didn't I didn't steal it from her i [TS]

  regret to this day lily ended up moving [TS]

  to Marrakech where she got somehow [TS]

  walked up [TS]

  um just you know like I don't know how [TS]

  she got to America's and and I don't [TS]

  know how she I mean because she didn't [TS]

  have any money and she didn't have any [TS]

  back she have any friends but somehow [TS]

  she got to Marrakech and walked up to [TS]

  the front door of Paul Bowles his house [TS]

  bubbles at that time was probably [TS]

  already 75 or 80 [TS]

  and knocked on the door and started [TS]

  working as his assistant [TS]

  I I know that name that remind me who [TS]

  that is you wrote the sheltering sky [TS]

  oh wow and she showed up just showed up [TS]

  and and he he's my favorite of the beat [TS]

  writers is the only beat writer i can [TS]

  stand and his his writing he did a thing [TS]

  where he he translated well he had a [TS]

  translator but he wrote a series of like [TS]

  Moroccan folk stories he he brought this [TS]

  Moroccan use young moroccan guy named [TS]

  mohammed mohabbat who wrote some amazing [TS]

  books bubbles short stories are the best [TS]

  of all of the beats by the head and [TS]

  shoulders and here's a guy really [TS]

  admired and I I get a letter in the like [TS]

  you know paper letter from Lily and [TS]

  she's like my work for Paul's now i'm in [TS]

  America should come [TS]

  no I regret not going but very shortly [TS]

  after I believe that she was arrested [TS]

  for smuggling heroin into Europe inside [TS]

  of her vagina [TS]

  oh no oh that's an awkward call your [TS]

  parents [TS]

  yeah really who I don't think your [TS]

  parents were still around [TS]

  I think her parents had like maybe [TS]

  driven volkswagen bus off of the top of [TS]

  the the highway 1 in their nests [TS]

  how do you think it's keep it in there [TS]

  is it just to get through security or do [TS]

  you have to like feel like the whole [TS]

  flight [TS]

  Oh for the whole flight for sure i don't [TS]

  think i don't think you take it out and [TS]

  likes putting on your you're folding [TS]

  table and wait until you're about to [TS]

  land and go put it back in [TS]

  I think but i'm pretty sure she took a [TS]

  boat and the you know the boat ride is [TS]

  yeah it's it's as long as the flight who [TS]

  have to go really work your kegels who [TS]

  like this this girl's got some she got [TS]

  some character i fell out of touch with [TS]

  their i-i-i the last time we saw each [TS]

  other I had quit doing drugs and so [TS]

  we had that awkward awkward weekend [TS]

  where it's like well let's let's get [TS]

  high [TS]

  well I don't get high anymore oh alright [TS]

  well um yeah that's a lot of change to [TS]

  have been a jacket that's all we used to [TS]

  do I know but I don't do it anymore [TS]

  we're still two people were still to [TS]

  humans in the world we know each other [TS]

  let's see what's on TV so but I mean how [TS]

  are we going to have sex if we're not [TS]

  high i know right wouldn't that be weird [TS]

  we should try even so that's common [TS]

  problem [TS]

  yeah yeah Paul Bowles though Paul bales [TS]

  I don't like the beats but i do like him [TS]

  and yes is his wife also very amazing [TS]

  writer [TS]

  man i can't imagine doing what she did [TS]

  that's so gutsy you haven't you young [TS]

  you don't give a fuck you know you know [TS]

  you think it's all you think it's all [TS]

  adventure and and it is and it keeps [TS]

  working over and over right here it's [TS]

  like all adventure i'm i'm a [TS]

  motherfucking drug smuggler now man and [TS]

  you know I never I never sold drugs and [TS]

  and and because i was because I had that [TS]

  because i had that thing that's kind of [TS]

  haunted me or that that chainmail shirt [TS]

  that I wore my entire life where I had [TS]

  some core ethical lines that i wouldn't [TS]

  go across like it [TS]

  the idea of selling drugs to make a [TS]

  living was disgusting to me even when I [TS]

  was the most disgusting because I just [TS]

  couldn't ever picture myself as a drug [TS]

  dealer over because just the words drug [TS]

  dealer like from the from the youngest [TS]

  age right and that was just a thing I [TS]

  was never going to be in net the [TS]

  excitement of it the the [TS]

  it sounds like being a child molester is [TS]

  it's not that kind of a a mark on it [TS]

  yeah and some people rush into drug [TS]

  dealing as fast as they can write it's [TS]

  just like oh I can get high and make [TS]

  money duh and it and it's simple and [TS]

  they don't they don't think of it it [TS]

  with it they don't they don't put a halo [TS]

  a moral halo around it at all it's just [TS]

  like right well this guy had extra drugs [TS]

  and so I bought them from him and now [TS]

  i'm selling them to you [TS]

  what could be simpler if we're all doing [TS]

  drugs why would you take a moral stance [TS]

  on me selling them to you [TS]

  um and there were many many many [TS]

  opportunities for me to get into that [TS]

  racket but I just was like no way mind [TS]

  you're looking like you never give me [TS]

  like a courier mule type work one time I [TS]

  set off from Spokane Washington to [TS]

  washington DC via so I so I popped [TS]

  afraid and Spokane took the freight [TS]

  train to missoula stuck my thumb [TS]

  hitchhiked to what fort collins colorado [TS]

  you know one of these trips across [TS]

  America is like and then I got on a [TS]

  donkey and I wrote across the Ben the [TS]

  night a guy came along with a long [TS]

  skateboard and we both got on it but [TS]

  what I left spokane this guy I knew [TS]

  whose name was Jesus what the fuck was [TS]

  that guy's name not Treebeard but tree [TS]

  something to treat reman now fuck what [TS]

  was his name is really tall guy [TS]

  this is a mythic character know he was a [TS]

  real real person spoken sort of [TS]

  legendary spokane hippie I like a local [TS]

  character a local character and a super [TS]

  nice guy and and a little bit older than [TS]

  us and his name was like trade tree funk [TS]

  but really it's embarrassing to be I [TS]

  don't remember his name but he was [TS]

  trimming some pot was trimming a recent [TS]

  harvest and he had five pounds of shake [TS]

  it and as well accept it was good it was [TS]

  a good it was good bud [TS]

  so it was a it was a it was five pounds [TS]

  of good shake it wasn't like ditch weed [TS]

  right but it was still shake it was [TS]

  leaves and you know in the little [TS]

  nubbins and all the stuff that the the [TS]

  detritus right we had this you know we [TS]

  had five pounds of this stuff and he [TS]

  liked me and so he gave it to me and I [TS]

  didn't have any money five pounds of pot [TS]

  yeah yeah so much pot John well because [TS]

  he was interested in the buds which were [TS]

  valuable and good and the shame looks [TS]

  like from that's we did not get a lot of [TS]

  the buds we will get a lot of the of the [TS]

  shake as you say this was the era this [TS]

  was the transition area between when [TS]

  most of the pot you got was shake in the [TS]

  United States to the concurrent era [TS]

  where most of the pot you get his butt [TS]

  and what's funny is in 1986 there were [TS]

  whole you know the majority of the [TS]

  United States of America you couldn't [TS]

  get good pot no matter how much money [TS]

  you had right and so there were there [TS]

  were places and the northwest was was [TS]

  one of those places Northern California [TS]

  Oregon Washington Alaska had great pot [TS]

  fantastic pot and what what I would [TS]

  travel across the country like and meet [TS]

  stoners they would be like you're from [TS]

  the northwest oh man you have you ever [TS]

  smoked rub the buddha and I'd be like [TS]

  have I ever and then you'd be you'd be [TS]

  down in Arizona or something you'd be [TS]

  smoking this stuff that just was like [TS]

  come on you guys seriously smoke this [TS]

  heat like you even bother so I had this [TS]

  should i had this giant quantity of [TS]

  shake that was way better pot then you [TS]

  could you could find in most of the [TS]

  Seekers little bit of pot arbitrage [TS]

  right get somewhere where the market can [TS]

  bear it and frankly frankly like I liked [TS]

  you know yeah i'm one of those people [TS]

  that that is gonna smoke if you got it [TS]

  i'm gonna smoke it and so really [TS]

  heavy-duty weed i would just get super [TS]

  baked and wouldn't be able to function [TS]

  I don't know how people do it i really [TS]

  liked was when I was one of those guys [TS]

  that were just like oh wow you've got [TS]

  like this not entertaining you're just [TS]

  you're just in a corner you're in a [TS]

  corner you're paranoid and your [TS]

  bloodline is leaping from false idea to [TS]

  false idea and you're just like I'm so [TS]

  bad right now [TS]

  fuck and and I was you know I was a i [TS]

  was traveling some in most instances i [TS]

  was the stranger right i would come in [TS]

  to come into a situation and I was like [TS]

  the one guy I walk into a party I'm the [TS]

  one guy nobody knows and I had this weed [TS]

  that was really good by their standards [TS]

  but actually pretty mellow by myself and [TS]

  nutty showy yeah that's right it's not [TS]

  like I've gotta you know I stole this [TS]

  bud from the US government right it's [TS]

  like you know I got this really kind but [TS]

  and it's very nice to roll into joints [TS]

  and then you pass some joints around a [TS]

  party like like you don't give a fuck [TS]

  like here I just I'm just sitting here [TS]

  rolling joints some passing them around [TS]

  how do you like that and everybody's [TS]

  like this part is so great it's so chill [TS]

  and so I was so i use that pot as a to [TS]

  be a hero for a long time because it was [TS]

  a lot of weed and at one point [TS]

  some guy came up to me in Durango [TS]

  Colorado and he was like I've got 10 [TS]

  capsules [TS]

  of MDMA [TS]

  will you trade me these 10 capsules of [TS]

  MDMA for some you know handsome bag of [TS]

  pot and this was one MDMA was three [TS]

  bucks of capsule or something before i [TS]

  think it was like right on the cusp when [TS]

  they made it illegal so the only six ish [TS]

  and so I was like yeah right i mean this [TS]

  this started to feel like like going [TS]

  places now right moving on up in the [TS]

  women in the world and so I got these i [TS]

  got this MDMA and I gave him some weed [TS]

  and then I had two kinds of drugs that [TS]

  belong to me that people wanted but you [TS]

  know you can't just walk into a party [TS]

  and start handing out MDMA also i didn't [TS]

  i didn't have enough to give to [TS]

  everybody so long long story short i did [TS]

  not i never sold any drugs but I did [TS]

  start to feel like I was wheeling and [TS]

  dealing in a room and I burned through [TS]

  the through the ecstasy pretty fast and [TS]

  then I was just back to be in the sky [TS]

  that was like slapping around kind of a [TS]

  Santa Claus bag [TS]

  Oh was it broken down into separate bags [TS]

  or was it like just like a bag is it was [TS]

  so I did have found is a lot of pounds [TS]

  John yeah i did have I had I have those [TS]

  big freezer bags how God you must demo [TS]

  that can make you a target [TS]

  well yeah but you know that this is the [TS]

  thing about me when I was young I was so [TS]

  naive about about the world the great [TS]

  grand I i keep attributing this to [TS]

  Alaska that somehow growing up there you [TS]

  are your worldly in one sense that you [TS]

  can't help but see a lot up there and be [TS]

  exposed to a lot of different people and [TS]

  a lot of different kinds of danger but [TS]

  it's also it was so isolated in it and [TS]

  felt like it was 20 years behind the [TS]

  rest of the country [TS]

  and so there's this kind of like opean [TS]

  Mayberry thing to and so I was [TS]

  constantly getting in situations when I [TS]

  was in my early twenties late teens that [TS]

  I look back on and go oh my god i am so [TS]

  why didn't somebody just hit you over [TS]

  the head and take all your stuff and [TS]

  rape you and throw you in a river who [TS]

  and this is like in this is around the [TS]

  time that you're hanging out with the [TS]

  grateful dead people [TS]

  yeah that in there eight somewhere in [TS]

  here as well and that they are less [TS]

  likely to murder you but like elbows to [TS]

  like just just living a living outside [TS]

  the town also like what happened to you [TS]

  you know what all your stuff got stolen [TS]

  right and France at in France so in so [TS]

  what happened was the gradual education [TS]

  that I received in how in the in the [TS]

  dark side of the of the world where I [TS]

  did start to get hit over the head and I [TS]

  did start to get robbed and it happened [TS]

  you know when you look back at it and in [TS]

  a kind of graceful gracefully [TS]

  incremental way so so that my first [TS]

  experience was not that I was knifed in [TS]

  a park by a couple of guys i mean i was [TS]

  at one point I was riding a motorcycle [TS]

  across the country and i was sleeping in [TS]

  parks and i was asleep on a picnic table [TS]

  with my motorcycle parked next to the [TS]

  picnic table [TS]

  Wow an image and I woke up and and the [TS]

  motorcycle is loaded with like I had my [TS]

  head all my stuff in a in a in an old [TS]

  but what are the big big bags that you [TS]

  get in the Army the Navy and a duffel [TS]

  bag at all my stuff in a duffel bag [TS]

  bungee cord to the back of this [TS]

  motorcycle and I just pulled up into a [TS]

  park parties and look at me like a [TS]

  pinata [TS]

  right and my own the only i mean i was [TS]

  lucky that I didn't I didn't have [TS]

  anything that was anything in the duffel [TS]

  bag the dirty clothes but I did have a [TS]

  fucking motorcycle at this for this [TS]

  brief period and i'm parked next to this [TS]

  uh sort of it I the reason I chose this [TS]

  picnic table was it and it was covered [TS]

  and up and I and it was raining so I [TS]

  pulled the motorcycle under the the the [TS]

  little roof and got out and roll my [TS]

  sleeping bag out on top of the picnic [TS]

  table and went to sleep when I wake up [TS]

  in the middle of the night and there are [TS]

  two guys standing over me and one on [TS]

  either side of me God and they're asking [TS]

  me questions in Spanish and I wake up [TS]

  and kind of setup in my sleeping bag and [TS]

  I'd never been robbed at this point and [TS]

  they're they're talking to me and I mean [TS]

  I kind of woke up and they were already [TS]

  in mid-conversation let me so I didn't [TS]

  know where the conversation started and [TS]

  I you know only spoke a little bit of [TS]

  spanish and they're asking me questions [TS]

  really calmly and it's the middle of the [TS]

  night and I'm and I realized that this [TS]

  moment that in choosing this park on the [TS]

  edge of town [TS]

  I chose a place where i was you know [TS]

  where i could shoot a flare gun off and [TS]

  nobody nice elated [TS]

  yeah and they just kind of stand there [TS]

  with their hands in their pockets and we [TS]

  have a conversation 45 minutes during [TS]

  which time I'm saying like not really [TS]

  sure with what you need and I'm not [TS]

  really sure what you want and and I hope [TS]

  you're having a really nice night and [TS]

  you know I I knew there was a [TS]

  dangerous situation but I didn't know [TS]

  what to do [TS]

  like I i had already made all the [TS]

  decisions that that preclude me from [TS]

  doing anything and for whatever reason [TS]

  these guys just sort of looked at each [TS]

  other and sauntered off and maybe they [TS]

  were just being nice [TS]

  I mean maybe who knows that's so weird [TS]

  but but when i look at the time I was [TS]

  like well who good thing I handled that [TS]

  situation laid back down went back to [TS]

  sleep but later on I looked back it was [TS]

  like uh you were they asking me for the [TS]

  keys to my motorcycle I mean if it that [TS]

  was certainly a possibility that [TS]

  somebody would come along and be like [TS]

  there's a motorcycle and there's a kid [TS]

  like let's let's take it up but that [TS]

  never happened and what if that never [TS]

  happened through many many many [TS]

  iterations of back right where I look [TS]

  back now and don't like oh they were [TS]

  trying to kill me with and when it did [TS]

  start to happen when I did start to get [TS]

  ripped off it was always in a way that [TS]

  was like it hurt [TS]

  its tongue but but not you know and not [TS]

  so much that that I said I'm you know [TS]

  I'm going to go join the priesthood or [TS]

  whatever you feel personal when I [TS]

  started getting hurt [TS]

  yeah well I mean look at the the thing [TS]

  is it's um it always does [TS]

  yeah yeah it's anything that involves an [TS]

  incursion into your person I think kinda [TS]

  can't help but feel personal even fits [TS]

  you know and they're like even the guys [TS]

  in France I mean that's something that [TS]

  was all business like something they'd [TS]

  done over and over and over again [TS]

  oh yeah and I and and every time a bit [TS]

  director about the time I was walking [TS]

  across the chain bridge in Budapest [TS]

  have I told you this story no no I don't [TS]

  know this one can walk across the chain [TS]

  bridge which is the you know the like [TS]

  big central bridge and input a budapest [TS]

  or patched depending on one's listening [TS]

  did you get did you get yelled at by [TS]

  that guy from Ukraine my god did the [TS]

  gallon [TS]

  yeah I don't acknowledge that no but [TS]

  buda-pesht you are you feeling like the [TS]

  way i like the way he broke down his [TS]

  various grievances with us by person [TS]

  yeah all of all it was lots of ! you [TS]

  know did you notice that I got heat for [TS]

  stuff you said not of course I hope you [TS]

  do if you are responsible i am i'm the [TS]

  on the editor you are you're the first [TS]

  allowed you to be how you are [TS]

  it may not continue do i and and two [TS]

  guys come around so so the the way when [TS]

  you want to cross the this particular [TS]

  bridge like you get to the stanchions in [TS]

  the middle of the river of which there [TS]

  are two one on either side the big you [TS]

  know the pillars and the and the path [TS]

  the pedestrian path goes around these [TS]

  pillars right so the pedestrian path is [TS]

  not just a continuous sight line of a [TS]

  like a guardrail along the brown I see [TS]

  there's like I got a little on blind a [TS]

  little blonde right and i end the [TS]

  manhattan bridge is like that beautiful [TS]

  bridge the-the yeah yeah it's a [TS]

  beautiful Bridget so it's one of the [TS]

  that's one of the great purchase but I'm [TS]

  on uh I'm on the Buddhist i'm headed to [TS]

  the pesticide and I come around this [TS]

  corner into this little blind on the [TS]

  buda side and there are these two guys [TS]

  about my age and they're fashionable [TS]

  young guys and as I come around the [TS]

  corner one of them kind of looks at me [TS]

  with surprise and delight he goes but I [TS]

  rebel and speaks to me in Hungarian and [TS]

  I'm like oh sorry I'm American he's like [TS]

  Oh American of course you are you are [TS]

  you are a very fashionable guy and I was [TS]

  like really nice top and he's like we [TS]

  are reporters for the local a Hungarian [TS]

  youth newspaper and I'm like uh-huh and [TS]

  he says would you mind if we took your [TS]

  picture for our fashion spread of like [TS]

  street fashion for the local paper and I [TS]

  was like I would not mind I would be you [TS]

  know I would i will take five minutes of [TS]

  my day to help tell people to help you [TS]

  guys and I was wearing a Levi's jacket [TS]

  and some denim and Levi's and some boots [TS]

  and a shirt but I what I did I I did [TS]

  agree with them that I was pretty [TS]

  cool-looking and so I stand there you [TS]

  know kind of look in pretty pretty [TS]

  seasons and they take and they got other [TS]

  guys got a camera the guy that's not [TS]

  doing the talking and he's like you know [TS]

  takes a couple of snaps and the guy goes [TS]

  ok you know like you know turn around [TS]

  like give us a little bit of you know [TS]

  get a little action shows you know let's [TS]

  get shot from the back and I turn around [TS]

  and kinda he's like look over your [TS]

  shoulder and I look over my shoulder [TS]

  Adam real fashion shoot stick out my [TS]

  butt a little bit like hello hello [TS]

  ladies and he's like now like a like [TS]

  like flip the collar of your coat now so [TS]

  we can see that tags so we can see the [TS]

  brand and I'm like I was just Levi's you [TS]

  know and I kind of flipped the tag and [TS]

  i'm gonna show the levis tag like see [TS]

  Levi's it's not it's not that weird i [TS]

  mean i guess i guess it used to be [TS]

  here and hungry more more and and so far [TS]

  everything seems this is all just [TS]

  totally fine you are having a blast [TS]

  yeah all alone out here in the middle of [TS]

  the bridge the three of us and then he [TS]

  says you know shrug the shoulders off of [TS]

  your jacket and kind of pull it down a [TS]

  little bit and show the tag we can't [TS]

  quite see it and I shrug the shoulders [TS]

  off the jacket i'm trying to be helpful [TS]

  guy and I shrug the shoulders down and [TS]

  now i have tied myself a little bit in [TS]

  my own Kotel right i have one yeah I get [TS]

  it sits down this down your arms don't [TS]

  have your arms have restricted movement [TS]

  yeah man I'm I'm gradually gradually [TS]

  incapacitating myself and some things [TS]

  some wind off the river or some little [TS]

  thing in my head [TS]

  maybe I see just like a just like a tiny [TS]

  spark in this guy's eyes something [TS]

  happens but i mean i'm also running a [TS]

  running a script aside script right Mike [TS]

  think this is weird like really the the [TS]

  tags are what you want to see and I [TS]

  suddenly get like a a chill and I flip [TS]

  my jacket back up and turn around and [TS]

  look at this guy [TS]

  I kind of square off and look at him and [TS]

  then all of a sudden it's like one of [TS]

  those vampire movies where the guy's [TS]

  eyes go white and the fangs come out [TS]

  he's like God and the other dude like [TS]

  like the take the jump into a posture [TS]

  where they're they're not getting [TS]

  anymore they are looking for their like [TS]

  they were there were two seconds from [TS]

  grabbing me when I was incapacitated and [TS]

  now I was recap acetate it and they were [TS]

  you know things out like your prey for a [TS]

  total pray but I i had regained my [TS]

  footing and I had I was facing them both [TS]

  and had [TS]

  my legs apart and was like went into a [TS]

  combat posture and we SAT there in [TS]

  history each other my god they were [TS]

  literally hissing at me and you know and [TS]

  honestly most of the most of my feelings [TS]

  were rooted in being kind of [TS]

  disappointed that they had lied to me [TS]

  about being fashionable that would be a [TS]

  nice break for you [TS]

  you know I was like ah but I i did that [TS]

  you know i did that thing where I where [TS]

  we saw we circled each other video house [TS]

  on you now because this is that this is [TS]

  the lucky this is the lucky break like [TS]

  when I want to examine the moments in my [TS]

  life where I where I acknowledge that I [TS]

  have tremendous privilege one of those [TS]

  one of those privileges is that I'm I'm [TS]

  just a big big and I look capable maybe [TS]

  get an incident like that the whole [TS]

  value of being any good at their job [TS]

  would be to quickly you know rob [TS]

  somebody and have it be over with and be [TS]

  gone like the whole idea of this you [TS]

  know Eastern European ballet movement [TS]

  about vampires seems really strange [TS]

  well and so what so their game i think [TS]

  was get a guy turn around get him so he [TS]

  pulls his jacket down around his around [TS]

  his elbows and then whack him from [TS]

  behind and grabbed his wallet and is so [TS]

  while you're undercover to a girl pose [TS]

  I get you know whacky from behind one [TS]

  year yeah when you're like when you're [TS]

  if i had not been looking over my [TS]

  shoulder if I had turned and just show [TS]

  them the tag that they were hoping for [TS]

  yeah they would've whacked me probably [TS]

  with the dummy camera and a all you know [TS]

  all the trying to get your wallet in [TS]

  your passport because because you're an [TS]

  American tourist and you've got a job at [TS]

  steel got 300 euros or something [TS]

  now that they were facing me and it was [TS]

  like going to be actual combat they had [TS]

  a second to third and fourth thought [TS]

  about it and in that amount of time i [TS]

  was able to circle them around until the [TS]

  until the opening presented itself for [TS]

  me to head on up the path and then once [TS]

  i started to move you know it was over [TS]

  and they went the other way and we never [TS]

  saw each other please Louise would have [TS]

  strange incident lots and lots of those [TS]

  in the course of of you know in the over [TS]

  the years they sound like they might [TS]

  have been kind of new to that racket [TS]

  they were trying out some new things [TS]

  tonight we try the trick when he pulls [TS]

  down the jacket yeah maybe maybe they [TS]

  maybe they thought maybe they'd done it [TS]

  once and it worked and then they thought [TS]

  this is our game now I mean they're at [TS]

  no point did somebody you know at no [TS]

  point did they pull out a soviet-era [TS]

  pistol pointed at me right at the book [TS]

  but you know the but some famous [TS]

  gangster once said to me if a guy's got [TS]

  a pistol [TS]

  it's a pretty safe bet he's also got a [TS]

  car and I was like is that true and he [TS]

  was like well the first thing you do [TS]

  with a pistol is get a car to do you [TS]

  understand me and I was like you right [TS]

  course if you had a pistol [TS]

  it's worth more it's worth more to you [TS]

  it is worth more to you as a tool to get [TS]

  a car then it is as a tool to take [TS]

  twenty dollars on from the tourists on [TS]

  icy right like the first thing you do is [TS]

  good but stick it inside some guys faces [TS]

  they give me your car right [TS]

  okay so you got a pistol it's a safe bet [TS]

  you've got a car and if you if if [TS]

  somebody's just standing there with a [TS]

  pistol on the sidewalk taking twenty [TS]

  dollars off of people it's a pretty safe [TS]

  bet that it's not a real pistol or are [TS]

  offered a POW icc i was getting lost in [TS]

  this if you give a mouse a cookie thing [TS]

  ok that makes sense i switched and so [TS]

  maybe not a real pistol ok that makes [TS]

  sense but you know and I've had some [TS]

  pistol pointed at me one in particular [TS]

  on the on the sidewalk and when a pistol [TS]

  pointed at you don't think to yourself [TS]

  you guys got a pistol he's probably got [TS]

  a car [TS]

  you just go right all right well this is [TS]

  this situation maybe he just got the [TS]

  pistol he's on his way to get in your [TS]

  car and he thought he'd stop and rob me [TS]

  yeah i just got through this with my mom [TS]

  was like a big second amendment [TS]

  gun-carrying person and she had all [TS]

  these you know what's your second [TS]

  Amendment person you can come up with [TS]

  all kinds of reasons that you need to [TS]

  have a gun and in her case it was that [TS]

  she was doing depositing stuff at night [TS]

  mean you know the bank back when you go [TS]

  to that big big door and possibly i just [TS]

  always feel like I hate to burst your [TS]

  bubble but like unless you're going to [TS]

  have a gun pulled marshal Dillon style [TS]

  before you ever get up to their I don't [TS]

  have a chance right right you're gonna [TS]

  like hold on let me get my gun [TS]

  yeah yeah it worked with with somebody [TS]

  who's like enough of a nutjob to stand [TS]

  around by a bank and and Rob people who [TS]

  are making deposits like that's probably [TS]

  somebody with a little more skin in the [TS]

  game than you yeah right and so so your [TS]

  only option is to walk up to a bank with [TS]

  your deposit in one hand / already ready [TS]

  to go like your fucking Mannix or [TS]

  something like s4 in a circle with that [TS]

  with the handgun in this other palm you [TS]

  know and that's going to attract [TS]

  attention [TS]

  you gotta do it every night yeah yeah a [TS]

  policeman is going to see that one time [TS]

  yeah yeah I don't know you know even [TS]

  carrying a knife around which I tried to [TS]

  do for a while like I well you know I [TS]

  feel a little bit vulnerable having been [TS]

  robbed as many times as I have [TS]

  i'm talking about a certain period of my [TS]

  life post a post golden era where I [TS]

  never got in trouble but before the [TS]

  present day where you would sometimes [TS]

  maybe be a little bit out of your senses [TS]

  I was well I was there was a period even [TS]

  every robble for a while [TS]

  yeah there were a lot of times I was [TS]

  probable probably got robbed many times [TS]

  that I don't remember and got robbed a [TS]

  lot of times in drug deals gone wrong [TS]

  there are some of the worst robberies [TS]

  because [TS]

  you have scraped together some money to [TS]

  get some drugs and all you wanted some [TS]

  drugs and you're so close you're right [TS]

  there you're talking to the guy you're [TS]

  right that's right there [TS]

  you're about to have the drugs and then [TS]

  everyone goes home and everybody is [TS]

  happy and fine and all problems are [TS]

  resolved and then the guy Rob's you and [TS]

  then you're like now not only do I not [TS]

  have the drugs i also do not have the [TS]

  money that I managed to scrape together [TS]

  so i have no there's no like Plan B it [TS]

  makes it hard to trust people [TS]

  it's so hard and uh and then also the [TS]

  humiliation of getting robbed and then [TS]

  invariably I would chase the drug dealer [TS]

  and so that's a real boy had a central [TS]

  system the fourth problem which was that [TS]

  then that then I would be in a worse [TS]

  situation so Gemma catch him [TS]

  uh know what happens is you chase the [TS]

  drug dealer and he leads you into us he [TS]

  leads you into a blind alley i basically [TS]

  lead you into a canyon and then there [TS]

  are snipers on earth look at the canyon [TS]

  yeah and you're like whoa Hoss and then [TS]

  he turns around and says now we're going [TS]

  to the classic misdirection how do you [TS]

  like the idea like me now got in there [TS]

  like you know what what I really like [TS]

  the reason I chased you was that I [TS]

  wanted to apologize before I want to [TS]

  apologize for not having more money for [TS]

  you to steal and I'm just gonna back out [TS]

  of this Canyon for a couple couple of [TS]

  those that that's gotta be a depressing [TS]

  named super depressing and it's it's [TS]

  super depressing to get ripped off by a [TS]

  drug dealer that you know and think is [TS]

  your friend that's no that's no fun but [TS]

  I wash so there was a while there where [TS]

  I was carrying a knife because i thought [TS]

  i'm sure you eat you're a dummy to be [TS]

  out here in the world doing all these [TS]

  things and not have something did you [TS]

  have the attention of of using it i mean [TS]

  like if you're gonna carry a knife a lot [TS]

  it really helps to have stabbed people a [TS]

  bunch to just kind of get a feel for the [TS]

  thing is i did some Travis Bickle going [TS]

  who you know you're talking to me [TS]

  mhm you you talking to me about your off [TS]

  the amateurs a little bit right yeah and [TS]

  I would pop the knife out and for a [TS]

  while I had a switchblade [TS]

  and then I had one of those spyderco [TS]

  knives that a guy had like I had [TS]

  modified the spyderco so that you know a [TS]

  spyderco you flip it open with your [TS]

  thumb [TS]

  yeah yeah um knife yeah but he had money [TS]

  somehow taken this spyderco I don't know [TS]

  how he did it but he made it so that you [TS]

  can just pull it out and flick your [TS]

  wrist and this and the knife would flip [TS]

  out if root it loosened the action [TS]

  who and so I had this [TS]

  spyderco that was very impressive you [TS]

  pull this thing out flip it like you're [TS]

  in west side story and then it's not a [TS]

  switchblade it's this serrated like [TS]

  basically like table saw that that knife [TS]

  raised some eyebrows on that if it's [TS]

  good for dramatic effect [TS]

  i miss it i miss that knife I lost it [TS]

  but uh but but I carried by carrying a [TS]

  knife around for a while until i [TS]

  realized just as you're saying it's one [TS]

  thing to like pull your spyderco out [TS]

  flip it and look in the mirror and say [TS]

  now who's now who wants a like a year [TS]

  like that's ignite 12 with a pair of [TS]

  chucks only a high of this haha how do i [TS]

  just take this from you and hit you with [TS]

  until I get tired [TS]

  yeah okay but the prospect of actually [TS]

  like getting in a knife fight [TS]

  I mean the danger of getting a knife [TS]

  fight with somebody is if they are even [TS]

  if they're even slightly better at night [TS]

  fighting than you are [TS]

  oh and you could very easily hurt [TS]

  yourself in a knife fight [TS]

  well that I think the danger is that you [TS]

  get into a knife fight with somebody who [TS]

  is as you describe what has more skin in [TS]

  the game than you is more desperate than [TS]

  you you are mad that they stoled thirty [TS]

  dollars they are desperate to stay out [TS]

  of jail and desperate to live and that [TS]

  what they'll do is take your knife away [TS]

  from you and then stabbed you with your [TS]

  own nice and you want to talk about [TS]

  losing some dignity [TS]

  all in one of his drugs United my knife [TS]

  to yeah I went into this a ticket thirty [TS]

  dollars worth of drugs and now I'm dead [TS]

  yeah that talk about a bad plan so i [TS]

  said i did keep carrying a knife because [TS]

  they're it's good to have something to [TS]

  cut cheese [TS]

  yeah that's true but i but i stopped [TS]

  everything that I was ever gonna pull a [TS]

  knife out and pointed at somebody [TS]

  many many years ago because I just [TS]

  pictured the seem like I'm not a knife [TS]

  fighter and if I encounter one I don't [TS]

  want to show him my knife people get [TS]

  such fantasies you know such fantasies [TS]

  about you know how stuff is going to go [TS]

  and what's going to happen in that [TS]

  situation and I just my impression is [TS]

  that the more often you've been in [TS]

  fights over the more often you had [TS]

  violence visited upon you tried to [TS]

  defend yourself like you seem to get [TS]

  more and more realistic about how much [TS]

  that fantasy action you know you're not [TS]

  really going to like a roundhouse kick [TS]

  and the fight [TS]

  oh you did you know that my broken [TS]

  finger of several months ago still pains [TS]

  be doesn't give me an update on this and [TS]

  now and now wow really how this happened [TS]

  well the the first friday i got in with [TS]

  the to kill all right larson and in and [TS]

  I was counseling you to gently to maybe [TS]

  I was counseling you to gently to maybe [TS]

  you'll have that looked at and it was [TS]

  getting worse and worse and then you put [TS]

  some together with like chopsticks and [TS]

  band-aids [TS]

  that's right that's right I finally you [TS]

  know I finally went to the doctor the [TS]

  doctor said well I don't think it's [TS]

  broken you been walking around for three [TS]

  weeks with it tied to some chopsticks [TS]

  it's probably just a spring and he [TS]

  doesn't know your background so yeah [TS]

  there's no like what kind of stock [TS]

  you're from he did the x-ray and he was [TS]

  like oh it's fractured and a since [TS]

  you've been walking around for three [TS]

  weeks time to some chopsticks there's [TS]

  nothing we can do [TS]

  it's not we're not going to really break [TS]

  it so te said you just need to start [TS]

  stretching it haha [TS]

  and so God he was like you know usually [TS]

  it takes what he say 90 days to to [TS]

  completely heal and so for a month for [TS]

  two months I'm just like Oh agonisingly [TS]

  working this stiff broken finger and is [TS]

  the idea to sit to coax it Ortiz it into [TS]

  being in the right position or that it [TS]

  doesn't swell or what's the wasn't them [TS]

  I think what it what ends up happening [TS]

  is you know the bone starts to rebuild [TS]

  itself and then you just the the muscles [TS]

  and the scar tissue no scar tissue just [TS]

  wants to adhere to the to the heel to [TS]

  the to the to the place where it was [TS]

  broken and if the scar tissue succeeds [TS]

  in doing that then you can move your [TS]

  finger on that hard you won't be able to [TS]

  move and use it and so you have to get [TS]

  the everyday kind of break a heart scar [TS]

  tissue [TS]

  oh god and so I was doing this for two [TS]

  months and then three months and I was [TS]

  like come on what is wrong and I went to [TS]

  the doctor and I was like you know this [TS]

  can't possibly be what happens when you [TS]

  break your finger in the movies all the [TS]

  time guys do things where it's clear [TS]

  they broke their hand and the next day [TS]

  they're out fighting crime [TS]

  yeah they might gotta do this flexing [TS]

  thing a little bit getting a half [TS]

  yeah you know like no give themselves [TS]

  more Oh out [TS]

  and it's clear that he broke his hand [TS]

  and five places but the next day he's [TS]

  like slop solving solving mysteries and [TS]

  they're like no it really you know if [TS]

  you break your finger it sticks it takes [TS]

  90 days to to fix it and then I got [TS]

  there the doctor looks at the chart and [TS]

  he says oh but I mean I got your age [TS]

  take six months uh criminy and I think [TS]

  he doesn't offer to break it fix it [TS]

  that's not on the table now he said you [TS]

  know it's fine it's like it was [TS]

  fractured it was slightly displaced but [TS]

  it's healing now and it it's not you [TS]

  know it's not a wasn't a compound [TS]

  fracture it wasn't like radically [TS]

  displaced it was just a little bit [TS]

  the bone was just a little bit sideways [TS]

  and then it filled in in between and now [TS]

  it the bone if you if you took the bone [TS]

  out you know if when people look at your [TS]

  skeleton they will be able to see that [TS]

  it was broken and that bone will have a [TS]

  little bump is your right forefinger [TS]

  right yeah [TS]

  ah God so anyway that happened in like [TS]

  the funerals Thursday September first of [TS]

  September right yeah and now here we are [TS]

  in February and i am still everyday [TS]

  exercising this finger it is still stiff [TS]

  and you know hurts and so the sense [TS]

  September 22 now they've been probably [TS]

  three or four instances where I was like [TS]

  in a situation overseas or or in a in a [TS]

  strange town or wherever where I was [TS]

  like this guy this guy's gaming for a [TS]

  punch in the nose and then I'm like I [TS]

  look down at my hand and I'm like oh [TS]

  what's up what's up nose puncher you're [TS]

  not the guy to give this guy a punch in [TS]

  the nose [TS]

  you're still recovering from the last [TS]

  time John that's that's tragic and it's [TS]

  just like welcome to welcome to the [TS]

  terrordome [TS]

  like I you know the minutes are looking [TS]

  around like hey you can get this guy [TS]

  punched in the nose i can't do it i got [TS]

  a busted hand I would have done it [TS]

  myself there what you know what guy you [TS]

  know what kind i would punch you in the [TS]

  nose right now if I didn't already have [TS]

  a busted finger and I'm pointing at him [TS]

  with my crooked finger I didn't already [TS]

  have a busted from the last guys knows i [TS]

  punched don't don't toy with me [TS]

  yeah as I speak you are really practice [TS]

  that's so lame so sucks so basically I'm [TS]

  just like becoming increasingly just a [TS]

  guy in a wheelchair with a blanket over [TS]

  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  sponsored by foremost a small batch [TS]

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  the apple store just right now isn't [TS]

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  foremost edition dot-com because [TS]

  Roderick on the line listeners can use [TS]

  the code ping-pong that's one word ping [TS]

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  you can also use ping pong one word ping [TS]

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  supporting rod on the line visit [TS]

  foremost edition dot-com ping-pong it [TS]

  started about punching the guys [TS]

  no yeah I have my nurse will be out on [TS]

  the deck of the ship there was on the [TS]

  chain bridge [TS]

  it was a night just like this back so [TS]

  depressing [TS]

  it's so depressing what is happening [TS]

  Marilyn what's happening oh man it's you [TS]

  got all kinds of problems you got to [TS]

  entropy you got gravity is I know what [TS]

  it is it's free radicals in a the [TS]

  fucking radical now we want to get this [TS]

  to bind to something is that how it [TS]

  works [TS]

  I think you want an antioxidant an [TS]

  antioxidant oh yeah you and what that [TS]

  does is it it auntie oxidizes huh mm I [TS]

  should look into that I gotta do [TS]

  something John they work for a long time [TS]

  when they were talking about building [TS]

  spaceships that traveled interstellar [TS]

  distances on solar wind and that same [TS]

  solar wind is pummeling us every day [TS]

  with free radicals and nobody's making [TS]

  spaceship [TS]

  yeah right what we wear where r is all [TS]

  downside [TS]

  yeah we're sailing ships went outside [TS]

  for interstellar six sailing ships we're [TS]

  just getting pummeled with with the with [TS]

  solar radiation and we don't even have [TS]

  the interstellar saying you'd punch the [TS]

  SolarWinds but you can't you're still [TS]

  healing [TS]

  that's what's gonna who's gonna who's [TS]

  gonna defend this planet John I feel [TS]

  like so so in our lifetimes yours and [TS]

  mine there did not used to be health [TS]

  nuts [TS]

  except in the jack lalanne model where [TS]

  you would go a TOA TOA ship across san [TS]

  francisco bay point you could be an [TS]

  enthusiastic but like if you were a like [TS]

  in our childhood like you were like a [TS]

  neti person from California if you [TS]

  thought about that stuff you thought [TS]

  about it at all I cannot and under the [TS]

  kind of person who would buy whole wheat [TS]

  bread like somebody was a real fringe [TS]

  character [TS]

  why would you buy brown bread when you [TS]

  have perfectly so I got waiting to get [TS]

  the rainbow bread its soft you can make [TS]

  a sandwich and smash it but we're coming [TS]

  were coming up on is the proof of [TS]

  concepts era right where it people that [TS]

  started eating vegetarian and vegan [TS]

  diets [TS]

  and practicing Eastern medicine and [TS]

  thinking at all you ever get a cold at [TS]

  this point where you've got 40 years of [TS]

  this under our belt so now we should [TS]

  start see some results [TS]

  that's right people who have been living [TS]

  mindful e since the sixties right so [TS]

  there should start to be this this [TS]

  cohort as you say who are exceeding life [TS]

  expectancies and and we we have we can't [TS]

  see it yet because the data is still [TS]

  there's too much static but there will [TS]

  but there should if those life [TS]

  philosophies have any validity there [TS]

  should start to be people who routinely [TS]

  live to be a hundred and thirty right it [TS]

  sure seems like it if that that pattern [TS]

  should we do it if it works we should [TS]

  start seeing for sure right because [TS]

  there have always been people that live [TS]

  to be a hundred and eighteen years do [TS]

  commercials derby old ladies you like [TS]

  Romanian ladies in the other [TS]

  professionals right exactly [TS]

  well I mean there's always some lady [TS]

  some lady in France has been smoking gal [TS]

  was for a throne right be five years you [TS]

  watch yourself with cooking oil once a [TS]

  week smokes and drinks everything's fine [TS]

  yeah there's a hundred angry in the [TS]

  world so so what we what we need to [TS]

  start seeing is some of these pete [TS]

  seeger types who are still doing naked [TS]

  yoga and at a hundred and eighteen [TS]

  hundred and twenty years old her and [TS]

  then they're just like not dying and you [TS]

  go wait a minute there's something to [TS]

  this this guy's been eating bean sprouts [TS]

  and like like some kind of thomas with [TS]

  no honey and now he's a hundred and [TS]

  fifty years old and look how happy is he [TS]

  still having sex this guy that's right [TS]

  he's so annoyed but if we type we don't [TS]

  start to see those people pop out from [TS]

  the herd pretty soon then we're gonna [TS]

  have to re-evaluate the whole concept of [TS]

  of that style of like health i remember [TS]

  a guy saying to me i was i was cooking a [TS]

  steak in a frying pan and some guys [TS]

  house and he walked through and he was [TS]

  like enjoy the hormones [TS]

  ok he was a guy that was living on week [TS]

  we crash sure he's on the way to naked [TS]

  yoga [TS]

  yeah enjoy the hormones and I was like [TS]

  oh I'm not going to now [TS]

  yeah thanks a lot that sounds disgusting [TS]

  have fried hormones it but i don't know [TS]

  i'm watching this guy I just do I still [TS]

  I still know who that guy is I remember [TS]

  his name i'm gonna i'm gonna be watching [TS]

  those guys are dicks after the other [TS]

  diseases here's the thing how do you [TS]

  control for that how do you control for [TS]

  the improvements in health care and [TS]

  being a dick right [TS]

  oh right you you think that maybe he [TS]

  might live longer just because he's a [TS]

  dick you know the type [TS]

  he's got his little net bag that he [TS]

  takes to the whole foods or whatever you [TS]

  know the kind absolutely this guy he's a [TS]

  massage therapist now my god [TS]

  so all the massage and everything now [TS]

  I'm not saying that live in a living a [TS]

  life where you're where you're having [TS]

  massages and uh and you're eating you're [TS]

  eating stuff out of a bin at the [TS]

  supermarket [TS]

  maybe that isn't maybe that's a [TS]

  wonderful life to live anyway for its [TS]

  own sake even if you'd even if you die [TS]

  at 65 but like contrasting myself [TS]

  imagining myself like you know imagining [TS]

  dying of a heart attack [TS]

  kind of like goldie Hawn's husband in [TS]

  private benjamin m [TS]

  no just or like I like the running guy [TS]

  Jim Fixx right remember him from the day [TS]

  with the book on running and hit that [TS]

  pitch he died of a heart attack he [TS]

  totally died he had like a congenital [TS]

  heart failure but a gentle heart [TS]

  failures all the time where we have [TS]

  finding congenital heart failures before [TS]

  they happen [TS]

  what do you mean that yoga boy i think [TS]

  that i think that the that you your main [TS]

  demographic of people that want to [TS]

  discover a cure for congenital heart [TS]

  disorders are people who have just [TS]

  recently died like a general heart [TS]

  disorders hormones yeah that's tragic [TS]

  so anyway i'm watching the culture very [TS]

  carefully to start see because pete [TS]

  seeger did live to be a ripe old 98mm [TS]

  huh but the country is full of of skinny [TS]

  guys who ate nothing but jello and like [TS]

  smoke dime store cigars who have to be [TS]

  98 my my grandfather put a new roof on [TS]

  his barn when he was 98 and he never ate [TS]

  a vegetable really have the energy to [TS]

  get coffee today [TS]

  yeah I know oh my god you know what it's [TS]

  the free radicals us i gotta find a way [TS]

  to find this somebody on my Twitter sets [TS]

  on the other day that blew my mind a [TS]

  japanese girl like a girl born today in [TS]

  Japan has a life expectancy that will [TS]

  take her into the 22nd century [TS]

  Wow right figure you can lead to be 85 [TS]

  at least a pulpit but so i have had a I [TS]

  was talking to a kid recently who went [TS]

  to Japan for the first time and he's a [TS]

  tall guy teenager and he said I was [TS]

  really anxious about going to Japan [TS]

  because I'm tall but he said all the [TS]

  kids that are my age in japan now are [TS]

  also really tall [TS]

  no I was like is that true and he was [TS]

  like yeah it's think it was just a it's [TS]

  just some kind of thing where her shirt [TS]

  was in Holland no no it was Japan it was [TS]

  like young people in Japan are tall now [TS]

  and so this whole business of like going [TS]

  to Japan and and everybody is 5 feet [TS]

  tall is like a butt in in 50 years [TS]

  that's not going to be see I'm on the [TS]

  horns of a dilemma here John because i [TS]

  can't decide whether I should just start [TS]

  refiling and reformulating all of my [TS]

  stereotypes about Japan or whether i [TS]

  should start over to Vegas because they [TS]

  live at home with the parents that you [TS]

  don't all I my sense was my great my [TS]

  great grandparents were four foot nine [TS]

  and my my grandparents were you know in [TS]

  the mid fives and then my dad was six [TS]

  foot one and i remember when i was a kid [TS]

  and my dad was 61 or 62 that was tall [TS]

  and people remarked upon it i like your [TS]

  dad is 662 or something and 61 and and a [TS]

  size 12 foot it was like hell yes look [TS]

  at us like that were we're big Americans [TS]

  and then when I got to be 63 and let's [TS]

  not talk about let's not talk about the [TS]

  anomaly i know you're changing rulers [TS]

  are you still seeing discrepancy still [TS]

  no I haven't been back to a doctor [TS]

  actually you everything I was like you [TS]

  know what quacks I don't let them fix [TS]

  their measurements and then you come [TS]

  back that's right that's right you're [TS]

  fucking rulers and i'll be back but you [TS]

  know and I was and I was like well what [TS]

  the difference is when my dad and I both [TS]

  ate kraft macaroni and cheese and all [TS]

  the generations before did not have [TS]

  access to kraft macaroni and cheese and [TS]

  kraft macaroni and cheese is a growth [TS]

  hormone [TS]

  it's the only thing I can explain is the [TS]

  only difference i mean they had pork [TS]

  chops i had pork chop some people gonna [TS]

  say that's anecdotal or or the bed i'm [TS]

  with you let my daughter is huge and she [TS]

  loves macaroni and cheese kraft macaroni [TS]

  and cheese now for a while I thought it [TS]

  was tab soda movie because my dad drank [TS]

  tab and I drank tab and that the [TS]

  generations before did not have access [TS]

  to tab but the problem is that nobody [TS]

  drinks tab anymore [TS]

  now you ever see ya know but people keep [TS]

  growing so it can't be tab it has to be [TS]

  kraft macaroni and cheese it's the only [TS]

  possible explanation and I'm sure that [TS]

  in Japan today [TS]

  kraft macaroni and cheese I mean I have [TS]

  no evidence of this but if you do a [TS]

  little research i'm sure you'll find [TS]

  that it is very popular [TS]

  I i would have to imagine that it's [TS]

  extremely popular is no other possible [TS]

  explanation right and in Canada for [TS]

  Canadians down kraft dinner right kraft [TS]

  dinner that's right that's what you're [TS]

  thinking about a different well yeah [TS]

  crafted it right you will keep you if [TS]

  you buy a Pontiac well they don't sell [TS]

  Pontiacs anymore but in the old days if [TS]

  you bought a Pontiac in canada we have a [TS]

  different name and a slightly different [TS]

  grill and it would have been made in [TS]

  Canada [TS]

  just like what are you doing up there it [TS]

  seems like that seems like a lot of [TS]

  overhead for a very minor distinction [TS]

  right build a whole fat but the thing is [TS]

  they're big they do other work and they [TS]

  got the Canadian content to rules right [TS]

  you got it you gotta play lots of [TS]

  nickelback on the radio they have lost [TS]

  about this John that's why people like [TS]

  Sloan their first we're forced to all [TS]

  right you know it's incontrovertible [TS]

  body was murdered and go yeah but man [TS]

  you know I've been back for and this is [TS]

  an important day because it's around two [TS]

  weeks now we've been back from the [TS]

  cruise [TS]

  yeah and i still miss the gravy [TS]

  it's one thing that's one thing I I [TS]

  don't have anybody to talk to about this [TS]

  and I'm so glad that you said that [TS]

  yeah my whole life up until just very [TS]

  recently if I just had a hot tray of [TS]

  gravy on the stove at all times and no [TS]

  matter what the meal was if it was kraft [TS]

  dinner if it was fried chicken [TS]

  if it was and noodles and butter [TS]

  I mean all the great foods if I could [TS]

  just on my way to the table [TS]

  stop at the at the hot tray no question [TS]

  and put two ladles of gravy on it huh [TS]

  life would have been so much better and [TS]

  then you get on a cruise ship and they [TS]

  got like four kinds of grapes so much [TS]

  gravy and they have great they have a [TS]

  great for every meal the sausage gravy i [TS]

  see John I realized this in the nineties [TS]

  i realized i think it was before I [TS]

  realized that if I ever became [TS]

  successful which I have not but if I [TS]

  ever did and I had the means i would [TS]

  have it my one like like stupid like I [TS]

  think to do is I would have sort of like [TS]

  a drink machine at a 7-eleven something [TS]

  along those lines probably a bespoke [TS]

  product built to the purpose for me but [TS]

  it would be a gravy serving phone i [TS]

  would be able to have hot like a like a [TS]

  white sausage gravy right you get a [TS]

  brown like a like a mashed-potato kind [TS]

  of gravy you want to want chunks in your [TS]

  sausage grilled it was not a lot not a [TS]

  lot but enough [TS]

  yeah yeah it should be a little bit [TS]

  substantial right [TS]

  it's not gonna come out smooth thick [TS]

  round brown gravy for your best potato [TS]

  that's right that's right and handsome [TS]

  as you [TS]

  I'm gonna want to have a new one that I [TS]

  don't know if you've gotten into your [TS]

  head maitre d better now but it's not [TS]

  what [TS]

  well if I ever go to a steakhouse I feel [TS]

  like skipping some people maitre d 10 [TS]

  i'll say those walks could be very long [TS]

  mr but you I know what you make it home [TS]

  to get a couple sticks of butter put in [TS]

  three teaspoons of fresh lemon juice [TS]

  little bit of a little bit salt little [TS]

  bit of pepper and then you let congeal i [TS]

  put in like a ziplock bag and so they [TS]

  can squeeze it out like a pastry thing [TS]

  and you put that on a steak brother you [TS]

  have never had anything like it [TS]

  now seen out to me that would be part of [TS]

  the gramophone oh IC put it on the steak [TS]

  steak is good for everything it's like [TS]

  extra salty butter with lemon in it and [TS]

  boy is it ever said to me [TS]

  still I can't seem to say if I become [TS]

  successful not looking great right now [TS]

  but if it ever does happen [TS]

  greater no Merlin never know life is [TS]

  long although not very long [TS]

  well I want to yoga if i did i do the [TS]

  general most fucking clothes on [TS]

  so you're saying like a 44 nipple gravy [TS]

  found four apertures it might come from [TS]

  above it might be like on hoses like an [TS]

  oil change place where you pull it down [TS]

  just a sport right on the white ones the [TS]

  white ones no-brainer [TS]

  that's that boy I'll tell you ever have [TS]

  one burger you have water probably [TS]

  always sure you got to order order off [TS]

  the menu at whataburger order also they [TS]

  do great breakfast they had taquitos and [TS]

  they got a really good good sausage [TS]

  gravy so something like I think I'm [TS]

  gonna go with sausage and go with brown [TS]

  I'm gonna go with those you said [TS]

  anything i'm missing now I'm not [TS]

  thinking not a tomato sauce tomato [TS]

  sauces and that's a day-to-day sauce for [TS]

  me it's not a big deal it's not a thing [TS]

  that you want in a tube well yeah it's [TS]

  not something where i would not find [TS]

  myself as I'm walking to the table [TS]

  putting tomato sauce on things i would [TS]

  put sausage gravy on virtually [TS]

  everything well you know what you know [TS]

  what I'm going to say I'm gonna say [TS]

  cheese sauce [TS]

  Oh where's your cheese sauce cheese [TS]

  sauce would be nice and now we also just [TS]

  be nice like through the evening [TS]

  enjoying some TV with your family took a [TS]

  little cheesy sauce [TS]

  well so here's the thing about cheese [TS]

  sauce right you got to have you got it [TS]

  you want cheese sauce for your nachos [TS]

  yeah but you don't want to have to [TS]

  cheese sauces but you also have to have [TS]

  an on nacho cheese sauce for your welsh [TS]

  rarebit [TS]

  well what kind of gravies on well it's [TS]

  like it's like rabbits like cheese toast [TS]

  right yeah it's like it's like it's a [TS]

  sharp cheddar cheese [TS]

  oh god that sounds good right and you [TS]

  know of course the the meal that we make [TS]

  my special family meal is is a version [TS]

  of welsh rarebit it's like biscuits with [TS]

  ham and then uh and then a fried egg and [TS]

  then cheese sauce [TS]

  although i would enjoy that it's insane [TS]

  and you know you can put some thick ham [TS]

  on there you can put some thin ham [TS]

  that's a way I think the Windjammer has [TS]

  created unrealistic expectations so so [TS]

  you got your for cheat you got your for [TS]

  sauces here white gravy or brown gravy [TS]

  euros you and your was the fourth piece [TS]

  was cheese going to be a fourth now from [TS]

  for me [TS]

  cm on the bubble I'm going above the [TS]

  white in the brown I would introduce [TS]

  into almost every meal in the other [TS]

  sauce maybe don't butter sauce that's [TS]

  right there [TS]

  so for me I think i would i would take [TS]

  the butter sauce out i put a cheese [TS]

  sauce in there but it would be a tough [TS]

  it would have to be a non jalapeno [TS]

  flavored with cheese sauce and then i [TS]

  would just add the jalapeno flavored a [TS]

  nice cheese sauce not like some kind of [TS]

  industrial cheese no no not not a [TS]

  velveeta cheese butter cheese sauce [TS]

  that's very hard to keep from separate [TS]

  she's uh yeah and I mean I'm just [TS]

  imagine it you know maybe like when you [TS]

  work in a bar and you got the little [TS]

  spritzer you know for coke and so don't [TS]

  tell me is there is there is there a [TS]

  meal is there a plate that you think [TS]

  does not want a sauce know every meal [TS]

  could be improved with some kind of a [TS]

  sauce in fact it could make the meal [TS]

  I mean you take some very simple meals [TS]

  the kinds of fields were talking about [TS]

  noodles try that with some brown gravy [TS]

  on it and so good you know i'm saying so [TS]

  good when i was in college i would get [TS]

  to boil in a bag salsbury steak [TS]

  ah which were what fifty cents at the [TS]

  time that the sense of peace 22 [TS]

  stouffer's boy in a bag Salisbury steaks [TS]

  i make a huge pot of noodles and just [TS]

  throw the Salisbury steaks and gravy in [TS]

  the in the pot of noodles sounds so good [TS]

  right now it's insane it's insanely good [TS]

  at 44 less than two dollars i could feed [TS]

  an army of one night [TS]

  myself I think it's still do i still [TS]

  want to keep chili special i don't think [TS]

  i want you know i guess you could get [TS]

  functionally it's something that's the [TS]

  technology no no that's a different [TS]

  thing I think you should keep it nice i [TS]

  think you should you should have some [TS]

  some nice canned chili that's easy [TS]

  enough to do and you wouldn't choose not [TS]

  a thing that you would well you put the [TS]

  cheese sticks of chili is a sauce chili [TS]

  is chili is the special special guests [TS]

  at dinner you know it's gonna be good [TS]

  with anybody but it but it is it is the [TS]

  center of the event for me [TS]

  right right now yeah I'm for me to like [TS]

  it it's sometimes i make a hot dog and [TS]

  put chili on it [TS]

  who but the focus is on the chili hot [TS]

  dogs just like it's like a topping [TS]

  except it's underneath em right so true [TS]

  right [TS]

  uh-huh and so I'm trying to think of a [TS]

  single thing that I would want that I [TS]

  wouldn't augment with one of those four [TS]

  so I think he's gonna put some sauces on [TS]

  other gravy's i think if you had like [TS]

  mesh video pretty good mashed potatoes [TS]

  butter mashed potatoes with brown gravy [TS]

  you put a little bit of sausage gravy on [TS]

  top of that i do this all I do this all [TS]

  the time i get a plate of food that you [TS]

  haven't already has a gravy or sauce and [TS]

  then I mean that I'm and I put a second [TS]

  so awesome i wouldn't last going to [TS]

  crease again I did it last night i [TS]

  ordered i was in it I was in a Thai [TS]

  restaurant i ordered a swimming Rama but [TS]

  in this restaurant for whatever reason [TS]

  they called showering Rama and I was [TS]

  like I died I wanted Rama to swim i [TS]

  don't want to ramas in a shower [TS]

  that's not an image i want but anyway so [TS]

  i ordered it and i use their own net [TS]

  nomenclature I didn't do the thing where [TS]

  I was like oh yeah can I get a baiting [TS]

  rama i didn't isolate now and i just [TS]

  said i would like showering Rama please [TS]

  and then I got uh then I got a pond name [TS]

  and I mixed the sauces oh brother put a [TS]

  little bit of the pond eh i'll let you [TS]

  know you let them let them touch in the [TS]

  middle and then you're having a you're [TS]

  having a peanut pond and party [TS]

  yes gravy's man kind of low energy low [TS]

  energy today are you feeling a little [TS]

  bit of a kind of low-energy I didn't [TS]

  like you want to be on the cruise don't [TS]

  you know my god fucking gravy every meal [TS]

  you just go through this great little [TS]

  fried eggs at first I was resistant to [TS]

  the little fridays just grab a Friday [TS]

  You Don't Know What You Don't Know Who [TS]

  friday they were really they felt kind [TS]

  of mass-produced which I put me off at [TS]

  first inventions like wow these are [TS]

  totally mass-produced i can just have a [TS]

  little over medium eggs any time haha [TS]

  who met incredible just gonna get one [TS]

  and that's I mean when I go to the [TS]

  grocery store and I see those uh [TS]

  hard-boiled eggs in a bag i just [TS]

  discovered these i went to my friend's [TS]

  place when Portland they go to costco [TS]

  and they buy a big thing of boiled eggs [TS]

  and bags and just eat them [TS]

  yeah and i was very specific that I was [TS]

  like that's not a thing that I like that [TS]

  there's no way that's ever actually been [TS]

  fresh that looks like it's got to be old [TS]

  and gross and I had like five of them [TS]

  you don't have to peel them use these [TS]

  eating eggs [TS]

  yeah they're just there and you can make [TS]

  a you can make a chopped salad and I [TS]

  gotta get that I gotta get ya [TS]

  maybe if I just kept a little bit of [TS]

  gravy on a low heat all day long [TS]

  you know little bit a little bit of [TS]

  sausage gravy all day long [TS]

  how do you think the rest of your family [TS]

  or two about them in the house would [TS]

  smell amazing [TS]

  I think it would say anything for a [TS]

  couple days immediately then on it just [TS]

  keeps getting better it tastes better on [TS]

  day three transaction is a reduction [TS]

  I [TS]

  [Music] [TS]