Roderick on the Line

Ep. 135: "Fire Was Always the Star"

 

  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  sponsored by cards against humanity they [TS]

  asked us not to read an ad [TS]

  hey just enjoy the show [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Merlin was going there [TS]

  you gotta get a little vocal fry at this [TS]

  at the top there fri little fried [TS]

  voiceover artist lady voiceover artist [TS]

  yeah that you Chad you know I witness [TS]

  haha idea i was i was never aware of [TS]

  vocal fry except as the subtle feeling [TS]

  of uncomfortableness us until one time I [TS]

  was standing out in front of a bar in [TS]

  Brooklyn and this young woman woman was [TS]

  talking to me and I was like I I'd known [TS]

  her for a while I was like what is the [TS]

  what is the matter with her [TS]

  I'm thinking to myself you know she's [TS]

  talking to me and I'm like what if [TS]

  something's changed living in Brooklyn [TS]

  is no good for this person and then [TS]

  another friend walked up as she as she [TS]

  moved on in conversation to someone else [TS]

  another friend walked up and said in my [TS]

  ear got a vocal fry huh [TS]

  because an adaptation like a little [TS]

  strapon she had adopted this vocal fry [TS]

  as a as an affectation trying to try to [TS]

  make it in the big city and i had had an [TS]

  untucked an unconscious not an [TS]

  unconscious but I had an identity and [TS]

  visceral reaction to it but I didn't [TS]

  know what I was reacting to and as soon [TS]

  as he said vocal fry i did i'd never [TS]

  heard the term before but I understood [TS]

  immediately what it was and I was like [TS]

  oh that's right she was speaking like [TS]

  her voice was a little frying pan [TS]

  she was just sitting there free you know [TS]

  like frying some bacon and like [TS]

  vocal fried that is a that it's a new [TS]

  concept and then all of a sudden I heard [TS]

  it everywhere and i was like i'm doing [TS]

  it's everywhere [TS]

  yeah well I'm but hey I this may be on [TS]

  the netflix on like Bell made a movie [TS]

  called in a world in a world in a world [TS]

  that's about voiceover people into I've [TS]

  been meaning to have been meaning to to [TS]

  watch this movie I heard many good [TS]

  things about it it's great it's about a [TS]

  young woman trying to break into the to [TS]

  the overwhelmingly male voiceover world [TS]

  who her dad is like the OS the guys [TS]

  named Don what's-his-name she hit anyway [TS]

  her father in the movie is like the king [TS]

  of voice overs and she's really good she [TS]

  I think she might teach accents to [TS]

  people or something she wants to get it [TS]

  exactly as you described it though and [TS]

  will arnett is in it which of course [TS]

  makes the triple funny [TS]

  yes it was great she was on on the fresh [TS]

  air [TS]

  she and the actor who plays her father [TS]

  were both interviewed on fresh air and [TS]

  she went through the great thing about [TS]

  voice person as they can you illustrate [TS]

  everything that they want to describe to [TS]

  you and she said she talked through all [TS]

  of the annoying things that female voice [TS]

  artists are you going to be able to [TS]

  including the frak [TS]

  fry baby voice and all the baby voice [TS]

  the baby's voice I hear it a lot you [TS]

  know because i like it really only when [TS]

  you turn on the radio you know you here [TS]

  in commercials especially I think I feel [TS]

  like I hear a lot of time so we're [TS]

  listening to radio you hear all of this [TS]

  horrible affectations what's funny [TS]

  because you and I on this program and [TS]

  again i know that some of our listeners [TS]

  are are are opposed to me breaking the [TS]

  fourth wall or even the third wall [TS]

  listeners talking about the anonymous [TS]

  letter but you and I are voice artists [TS]

  right okay well maybe not [TS]

  yes we paint and obscenities Hitler and [TS]

  snot although fortunately fortunately [TS]

  for us [TS]

  hmm we have never had to we've never had [TS]

  to describe our art as ever [TS]

  exploring the intersections between [TS]

  anything [TS]

  that's not that's one of the things that [TS]

  I'm really immediately allanon you like [TS]

  it when people explore intersections [TS]

  John I just I feel like whenever i see [TS]

  an artist say that their work explores [TS]

  the intersections between I'm just like [TS]

  I put the brochure down i turn away from [TS]

  the gallery wall and i say i do not want [TS]

  to i did not want to explore [TS]

  intersections with you [TS]

  artist and I as an artist have been [TS]

  fortunate never tapped to explore an [TS]

  intersection hand that I don't and I [TS]

  don't want us to do it on this program [TS]

  it's it's funny if you think about like [TS]

  you know reading interviews with [TS]

  musicians you like or filmmakers you [TS]

  like you know they'll sometimes talk a [TS]

  little bit about technique [TS]

  certainly but I mean let's talk about [TS]

  him really practical terms but it seems [TS]

  like today especially in the internet [TS]

  related trades it's not uncommon at all [TS]

  to talk a whole lot about your [TS]

  philosophy before you've ever actually [TS]

  yeah I'm talking about like what you're [TS]

  what you think you will eventually [TS]

  produce is going to be the intersection [TS]

  of these two things that's right that's [TS]

  right well i hope i hope that we put [TS]

  into some small role in that in [TS]

  encouraging young people to to really [TS]

  put forth a philosophy before they've [TS]

  ever really made anything [TS]

  yeah every we lot of work lots of [TS]

  persuasive theory as well as some would [TS]

  say you know your work is interesting [TS]

  but lacks a persuasive theory but it's [TS]

  so early it's really early [TS]

  oh you know I i received my first spam [TS]

  text this morning how welcome you did [TS]

  you get on your phony phone or I got [TS]

  Michael I get them well I get on google [TS]

  voice forwarded to my phone a lot but [TS]

  was it wait where you placed in a carry [TS]

  cast in the movie [TS]

  no no no I this was this was even [TS]

  grosser I so I'm embarrassed to say I'm [TS]

  so embarrassed [TS]

  the intersection of embarrassment and [TS]

  texts but lately i have I don't know [TS]

  what has happened to me [TS]

  ice I i tried to put a little bit of a [TS]

  of a moratorium on thrifting just [TS]

  because it just seems like it just need [TS]

  to just chill it out for a little while [TS]

  if you want to lose weight [TS]

  stop buying potato chips if you want [TS]

  less stuff that requires classification [TS]

  that's right because our store i'm going [TS]

  to the thrift store right about the time [TS]

  that i found a whole series of tiles [TS]

  that had that all had their then they [TS]

  were old and each one of them had a [TS]

  different crest of a different province [TS]

  in the check in Czechoslovakia i was [TS]

  like i have asked that I have to own [TS]

  these things like look at that you know [TS]

  it's the it's the dough that the [TS]

  checkerboard Griffin of moravia and then [TS]

  I got them home and I was just like what [TS]

  is going on you mean you-you-you [TS]

  decorated your house like a bier stube [TS]

  and uh you don't even drink beer so I [TS]

  was like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna go [TS]

  through stores anymore and then all the [TS]

  sudden three o'clock in the morning I'm [TS]

  lying in bed and I'm scanning ebay on my [TS]

  fucking phone and I'm I'm like on ebay [TS]

  and I'm them searching searching [TS]

  searching and I can you know what I [TS]

  don't have hits any I don't have any [TS]

  Italian climbing boots you know what [TS]

  else I don't have I don't have silk [TS]

  pajamas and unless that seems like an [TS]

  obvious one [TS]

  alright so pajamas I have a lot of [TS]

  cotton pajamas I don't wear pajamas but [TS]

  i have cotton pajamas because I feel [TS]

  like they may be archived something a [TS]

  gentleman needs and anyway at some point [TS]

  so that i'm on ebay and then i'm getting [TS]

  at that i get i could i get all uh I get [TS]

  all excited about like Oh what you know [TS]

  you know what I the problem the problem [TS]

  is that i don't have any Italian [TS]

  climbing boots [TS]

  it's that I don't know enough about [TS]

  Italian climbing boots [TS]

  so that i'm researching Italian climbing [TS]

  boots on the internet which leads me to [TS]

  all of those sites where men are talking [TS]

  to one another about their clothes and [TS]

  their fashion and there's a whole world [TS]

  and i know you don't know anything about [TS]

  this [TS]

  how would you know that because you tuck [TS]

  your dad jeans into your socks [TS]

  well because it keeps like easy to keep [TS]

  to yourself write it keeps the skeeters [TS]

  out but but i'm on and so then I'm [TS]

  father i'm reading message boards where [TS]

  guys are like I bought a pair of Italian [TS]

  climbing boots and i found that an 11.5 [TS]

  is actually closer to 12 or whatever it [TS]

  is I mean that people just talk [TS]

  I don't have to tell you people [TS]

  everything is it whatever it is whether [TS]

  it's the seduction community or the [TS]

  Italian boot community you you get [TS]

  deeply into jargon technology insider [TS]

  information you know who knows more [TS]

  who's more legit right Agnes that's I [TS]

  think that's common to pretty much every [TS]

  community eventually especially if it [TS]

  involves men [TS]

  that's right that's absolutely right [TS]

  about their boots planners and I'm then [TS]

  I'm getting boots plane to buy a [TS]

  thousand guys and I have no way of [TS]

  telling whether these guys are 65 year [TS]

  old former mountain climbers whether [TS]

  they are 22 year-old a people who was on [TS]

  interest it and eventually then that and [TS]

  the things my judgment my judgment is [TS]

  impaired at four o'clock in the morning [TS]

  and I'm you know and right next to me on [TS]

  the bed stand i have an ipad but i'm not [TS]

  doing it on the ipad i'm looking i'm [TS]

  using my phone and I'm you know I'm [TS]

  scanning these little message boards [TS]

  researching some esoterica and then [TS]

  invariably somebody says well you know j [TS]

  crew has a really good set of reissue [TS]

  dammit Italian [TS]

  mountain climbing boots and even even [TS]

  though it's against everything that I [TS]

  stand for [TS]

  I went and was trying to look at [TS]

  something on the j.crew website and they [TS]

  wanted me to login and I I was uh I was [TS]

  alone I was vulnerable i heerd I was a [TS]

  little impaired i was little sad I was [TS]

  longing for these was longing for [TS]

  information and i entered my information [TS]

  into the j.crew website then i was [TS]

  logged in now I had an account was [TS]

  logged in i realized that that the the [TS]

  website was a there was that it was just [TS]

  a it's just an elaborate shell game [TS]

  no you weren't on the jquery site no I [TS]

  was oh but but all Internet commerce is [TS]

  a is some kind of a shell game right I [TS]

  got there I found the thing that I was [TS]

  trying to find and then I clicked all [TS]

  the way through to the to the end game [TS]

  and they were like oh I'm so sorry sold [TS]

  out would you like to see another thing [TS]

  that doesn't it isn't anything like it [TS]

  she could also i think it's one of those [TS]

  companies were a lot of times you get to [TS]

  a page and they say when it be easier if [TS]

  you called us doing that with my [TS]

  daughter yeah which I'm trying to order [TS]

  backpack for my daughter like the real [TS]

  specific and like well to get these [TS]

  certain features what'd you just call us [TS]

  that yeah certainly have to call they [TS]

  really i think what you call [TS]

  well anyway I'd like you're stuck in a [TS]

  shell game you're vulnerable vulnerable [TS]

  in the shell game and I'm like God why [TS]

  did I do this get you know this is [TS]

  garbage get me out of here and I log off [TS]

  and I try and I go and I wash my hands [TS]

  some scrubbing really hard and just like [TS]

  that was a bad experience and I wake up [TS]

  the next day and their spam in my email [TS]

  from some clothing company and I'm like [TS]

  fucking j.crew that fast [TS]

  you sold my stuff you sold me down the [TS]

  river that fast and then now it's two [TS]

  days later I got a freaking text from [TS]

  somebody that's like are you and you [TS]

  know Mike [TS]

  Korres is having a huge set you think I [TS]

  sold your information long Underpants I [TS]

  didn't even put my I didn't put my phone [TS]

  number in mr. Hagel think thats related [TS]

  how could it not be have never received [TS]

  this only weighs disturbing sad ways [TS]

  that things cannot be related [TS]

  michael kors tell you this update or [TS]

  saturday i said by my daughter every [TS]

  every year at the game school year we [TS]

  get our daughter a new backpack and we [TS]

  ordered the special special backpack [TS]

  with the purple backpack with the owls [TS]

  and her going to put our initials on it [TS]

  so we call them sets that sets of that [TS]

  sets up a really weird really weird [TS]

  president for her was gonna show me 42 [TS]

  years old she's me like it's fucking [TS]

  September I need a new backpack on mid [TS]

  to late august i still want to do a tank [TS]

  folders i have no need for them that's [TS]

  what I create my class regularly name in [TS]

  my room number in subject the top of [TS]

  everyone so okay here's what i will tell [TS]

  you and nothing against j.crew and I'm [TS]

  pretty positive it was j.crew that we [TS]

  got this from systemic a nice backpack [TS]

  and it was funny because I remember like [TS]

  I guess I I feel like they probably [TS]

  maybe sign up for a new account because [TS]

  my like didn't my old password or [TS]

  something [TS]

  long story short i think i got at least [TS]

  eight emails from them having bought [TS]

  what exactly one item some of them with [TS]

  things saying we received your order [TS]

  other things that you're others on the [TS]

  way but then I started getting like [TS]

  daily emails from them and that and it's [TS]

  like you know I the thing is there are [TS]

  their argument just say there are good [TS]

  mailing lists in the world that are [TS]

  worth signing up for and people will [TS]

  send you something informative every day [TS]

  and that that's a good thing i have [TS]

  never to my knowledge at least in the in [TS]

  the in the contemporary Internet age [TS]

  like in the last 10 years I have never [TS]

  intentionally asked a vendor to email me [TS]

  about anything everything back in fact [TS]

  kind of stuff about computers i scan the [TS]

  page for the place where i can click the [TS]

  dingus to say i don't want to get the [TS]

  ensure you have to go if the dig down [TS]

  through several layers to find the place [TS]

  where you say please don't ever email me [TS]

  right but even still like if you buy [TS]

  stuff from third parties on amazon they [TS]

  sent him your information so something [TS]

  that i bought like three years ago i [TS]

  still get stuff about that and so [TS]

  finally I had to just you know mash on [TS]

  the the spam button a bunch of times to [TS]

  get you know the decreased us know [TS]

  anyway [TS]

  I think so what was the nature what was [TS]

  the nature of your texts [TS]

  well I deleted it but it first of all it [TS]

  had a lot of a it had a lot of emojis [TS]

  emojis [TS]

  uh-huh little star emojis and happy face [TS]

  emojis and snowflake emojis it was a a [TS]

  very long text and it was telling me [TS]

  that there were special offers for me [TS]

  about michael kors products and i'm [TS]

  assuming a question about the Great the [TS]

  the great American designer met course [TS]

  i'm assuming that he is a clothes [TS]

  designer fashion design a project runway [TS]

  yeah he has stores he designs things and [TS]

  he looks like an oompa loompa [TS]

  I i'm not familiar with him with his [TS]

  work and and it is not the type of thing [TS]

  I mean generally when I see things like [TS]

  that that I don't want to see a name of [TS]

  a fashion designer [TS]

  yeah i-i-i a large it somewhere in the [TS]

  back of my head as a as a thing to you [TS]

  can make a joke about sometimes has it [TS]

  that well as the thing i mean i-i not [TS]

  sure [TS]

  karl lagerfeld I put about half of it in [TS]

  in a play in a place in my brain where I [TS]

  where I catalog names of things to hate [TS]

  and then half of it in the other part of [TS]

  my brain which is like what if i'm at a [TS]

  cocktail party and I meet this guy I'd [TS]

  better you know I'd better like have [TS]

  some connection i bet the familiarity of [TS]

  like this guy is a fashion designer so I [TS]

  don't walk up to her and say I loved [TS]

  your show all the great haha [TS]

  Oh what shall i ah you know what you [TS]

  what you can watch for the one that down [TS]

  everybody gets at some point arm [TS]

  watch out for a text involving [TS]

  discounted prices on premium brand [TS]

  sunglasses [TS]

  yo that's what everybody's been getting [TS]

  for like the last year come I i have [TS]

  noticed I've noticed that the thrift [TS]

  stores now almost universally recognized [TS]

  the value of their vintage sunglasses [TS]

  all interesting used to be i would find [TS]

  I would find ray bans by the bucketload [TS]

  for ninety-nine cents at Goodwill's and [TS]

  they didn't they were oblivious to them [TS]

  and I [TS]

  what walked into a good will the other [TS]

  day and they had a pair of raybans up [TS]

  under the glass which was a bad sign and [TS]

  then I was like how much do you want for [TS]

  those because you know I've converted to [TS]

  a new the new way of thinking I'm going [TS]

  to pay a little bit of money i see i [TS]

  understand tough for you to accept it [TS]

  but it's like I guess it's ok it's very [TS]

  hard for me to accept these things are [TS]

  worth money I knew it before you seem to [TS]

  know what they're outrageous and John [TS]

  you've been to the goodwill by our house [TS]

  that with the family now fancy goodwill [TS]

  with no shirts and there's no way that [TS]

  that ten-year-old shirt cost that much [TS]

  when they put it out [TS]

  well that's ridiculous that's exactly [TS]

  right and i said to the woman like how [TS]

  much is the how much you want for those [TS]

  and she said $99 and eyes at $99 that [TS]

  seems like a lot of knowledge for you [TS]

  son [TS]

  they're not that much more new with a [TS]

  case and she's like she shrugged was [TS]

  like I know what can i say like oh man [TS]

  $99 not respond to some of this text [TS]

  here in some that I've gotten about [TS]

  every week or two I get a similar text [TS]

  message the most here's one recently [TS]

  Merlin to the name you have been matched [TS]

  with TV show starring Denis Leary [TS]

  auditions approaching soon [TS]

  what ya pays 842 dollars a day it's a [TS]

  very specific number [TS]

  Merlin you have been matched the TV show [TS]

  directed by mark wahlberg auditions this [TS]

  week and they're all las vegas telephone [TS]

  numbers they're all from 702 phone [TS]

  numbers are Robert De Niro I could work [TS]

  with Robert De Niro I could work on the [TS]

  hit TV series sirens I could be a fall [TS]

  modeling shoot for something called on [TS]

  tight blue now now how does this mean [TS]

  this seems very specific on the the in [TS]

  the sense that they have to know that [TS]

  you are somebody who like this feels [TS]

  like it's coming from inside your brain [TS]

  as a house now right well yeah i mean [TS]

  what you don't know how much your stuff [TS]

  is already out there but it's it's now [TS]

  they know my you know my name and they [TS]

  know my google voice number and they [TS]

  text it so yeah you would [TS]

  but that you might that you might like [TS]

  seriously be considering i mean for me [TS]

  write a text like that I would [TS]

  how would I be like you when it's [TS]

  healthy more that's finally dinero has [TS]

  finally asked for me by name [TS]

  yeah yeah you know the thing about a [TS]

  scam is it's been years now incense a [TS]

  scam look like the scam you thought it [TS]

  was [TS]

  and the problem is to date the scams are [TS]

  so complex that i mean i think it's i [TS]

  think sometimes when with things like [TS]

  this i wonder if some of these are just [TS]

  a way of verifying the most important [TS]

  thing in a scam which is that you will [TS]

  respond right so there's something on [TS]

  the end of the on the other end of the [TS]

  line [TS]

  oh yeah here's the thing and he's always [TS]

  have a pattern to these are basically [TS]

  just spit out by some kind of an [TS]

  algorithm so it's got it says Merlin you [TS]

  have been matched with something and [TS]

  then it'll say where it's accepting [TS]

  submissions for something the name of a [TS]

  celebrity something about editions a [TS]

  phone number and it always ends with [TS]

  reply stop to stop because you know in [TS]

  SMS you're supposed to be able to i [TS]

  think maybe legally you're supposed to [TS]

  be able to type the four letters sto p [TS]

  and never contact you again [TS]

  of course it doesn't work it's the same [TS]

  way people used to reply to spammable [TS]

  please could you I could you please put [TS]

  me on your do not mail list because i [TS]

  don't like to receive unsolicited email [TS]

  and all that does is prove the treatment [TS]

  works when you respond to spam it just [TS]

  shows that your email account works and [TS]

  be you respond to things and here's what [TS]

  every salesperson nose is there are [TS]

  people out there who think they don't [TS]

  respond to salespeople but as long as [TS]

  you're talking they're still closing [TS]

  when you're talking to a spammer but why [TS]

  are you talking to them like where you [TS]

  usually yell at a wall but know that now [TS]

  they know that your account works so [TS]

  many years without one that get you [TS]

  something else [TS]

  ten years ago my wife replied to some [TS]

  send in some card from a magazine and I [TS]

  print plant Bayou salespeople ever since [TS]

  oh let me see let me say grace grace up [TS]

  any ten thousand dollars in cash and the [TS]

  american express card but grace [TS]

  oh I really I really want to get into [TS]

  that old could've gotten last time I'll [TS]

  Gil really love this one [TS]

  you know I I know you don't find my work [TS]

  but did you know how much i adore that [TS]

  movie [TS]

  it's a very good it's a very good movie [TS]

  and the guy in that scene is we're [TS]

  talking about [TS]

  glengarry glen ross and the course [TS]

  Jaclyn is purely can there be can there [TS]

  be anybody who listens to this program [TS]

  who isn't who hasn't watched glengarry [TS]

  glen ross a hundred times there's always [TS]

  something to surprise us jon was always [TS]

  something that is a private eye I think [TS]

  it's safe to say probably have not watch [TS]

  it as many times as I have watched it [TS]

  for example right now and film addition [TS]

  to film you can watch in 90 minutes [TS]

  there are young people out there are [TS]

  your classic 22 year olds you know who [TS]

  it's very hard to know what they've seen [TS]

  and what they haven't seen that makes to [TS]

  what the Fox said but they've never seen [TS]

  Hitchcock film murder my god i suddenly [TS]

  hate myself so much its back [TS]

  I saw the juicy the rhubarb rhubarb [TS]

  everybody you know entirely unacceptable [TS]

  did you see this road warrior reboot [TS]

  hell no I saw all this talk on the [TS]

  internet about a road warrior trailer [TS]

  right firstly easy joke and I said what [TS]

  oh that's right easy joke that just that [TS]

  just set off a bot in you all right you [TS]

  joke is I'm just I'm just sitting there [TS]

  in the peanut gallery watching other [TS]

  people who hate their life way to make [TS]

  the easy joke about anything anybody [TS]

  says [TS]

  wow black pressure high priority from [TS]

  prepare all paper ready or more likely [TS]

  bubble bobble it seems like you and like [TS]

  guys just got a glimpse behind the [TS]

  current might have been hacked the that [TS]

  Ronald Reagan more like huh 450,000 [TS]

  different scripts that are running you [TS]

  all the time [TS]

  am i right he jumped so people are [TS]

  talking about the blade runner gernot [TS]

  blade runner the growth of the road [TS]

  warrior trailer on Twitter and I'm like [TS]

  why why suddenly are half a dozen people [TS]

  i follow going back and watching a movie [TS]

  trailer from 1981 [TS]

  and then I was sitting around the house [TS]

  and I was made aware of the fact that [TS]

  they have are making a new road warrior [TS]

  movie and you know road warrior uh was [TS]

  it was very important to me i would say [TS]

  one of the real foundational artworks [TS]

  everything my camera you know you can't [TS]

  be serious [TS]

  you can't be serious twenty-two-year-old [TS]

  you hate like the app class [TS]

  what were you doing in 1981 that the [TS]

  road warrior did not appeal to you [TS]

  masturbating and throwing saving throws [TS]

  at separate times some gentleman and you [TS]

  know my dad took me to see it he was [TS]

  like I was so I was so into it of course [TS]

  i couldn't he isn t it was rated R and I [TS]

  was well was an identity one where you [TS]

  were yesterday / 13 so well yeah is that [TS]

  right yeah I guess that's right are 68 [TS]

  right yeah okay and I know I think I was [TS]

  probably 12 because mm my birthday's in [TS]

  September I think the movie came out [TS]

  matter in the summer but anyway I went [TS]

  with the one of my dad and the movie was [TS]

  you know obviously graphically violent [TS]

  and there's all every kind of violence [TS]

  but as a pyromaniac there were there's a [TS]

  lot of fire in that movie that was very [TS]

  exciting to me and at you know that was [TS]

  at an age when any appearance of fire on [TS]

  the screen fire was always the star of [TS]

  any film but it had all the ingredients [TS]

  it had all that it had all the Red Dawn [TS]

  a post-apocalyptic lawlessness cool [TS]

  outfits big guns you are people with [TS]

  need hair [TS]

  yeah people with need here people are [TS]

  lots of quotable lines foreign accents [TS]

  it just seemed that and federal like [TS]

  yeah like fast driving and dangerous [TS]

  behavior [TS]

  number one dangerous behavior movie so [TS]

  anyway this thing this this movie [TS]

  resonated with me [TS]

  I've seen it 1,000 times did you seek [TS]

  out the CGC count the new version of the [TS]

  trailer for the new one [TS]

  well so this was the thing so I heard I [TS]

  heard about it I was like oh god I have [TS]

  to go now and watch this thing I don't [TS]

  want to and I and I think it decide what [TS]

  part of this is gonna make me make that [TS]

  I've justice i'm so mad already [TS]

  and-and-and-and interestingly when I [TS]

  found out that charlize theron was in [TS]

  the film e that did not turn me against [TS]

  it right away [TS]

  oh I was that turn you against it [TS]

  well this is the thing it there were [TS]

  there were 400 actresses that could have [TS]

  been cast in that movie and 390 of them [TS]

  would have turned me against it [TS]

  immediately [TS]

  oh ok right you're thinking you're [TS]

  thinking no guarantee but she could pull [TS]

  it off but I but of all the actresses [TS]

  charlize theron is has been a very small [TS]

  group of people where I'm like me okay I [TS]

  believe it's still like it could even be [TS]

  good with her disaster on the face of it [TS]

  because she is an actress who's willing [TS]

  to make herself ugly in order to yes [TS]

  she's teaching me that she's also she's [TS]

  got a hilarious sense of humor very much [TS]

  already self-effacing percerin that [TS]

  between two ferns no no that that shows [TS]

  a little close to home for me but a 28 [TS]

  people in your in your basic she has she [TS]

  has a real physicality you know she has [TS]

  there's a lot of there's a lot of things [TS]

  in which I could see her sort of like be [TS]

  of the proto humongous and and take over [TS]

  the film so I'm like okay I'm into it [TS]

  you know and i go and i click and i [TS]

  watch this trailer and it's one of these [TS]

  movies where a car gets into an accident [TS]

  and then the tire comes off the car and [TS]

  instead of bouncing across the desert it [TS]

  comes straight at the camera boy and [TS]

  then you see the tire treads on it as it [TS]

  goes by and bad cut [TS]

  it it right and there's you know all [TS]

  super slo-mo and people things blowing [TS]

  up the implausible car wrecks very high [TS]

  flames [TS]

  yeah where cars are are tumbling upset [TS]

  you know like there's the that they're [TS]

  in a recommendation and they roll 40 [TS]

  times and in the space of that somebody [TS]

  slides out the window manages to me and [TS]

  walk across the ground pick up the car [TS]

  keys and get back in the rolling car in [TS]

  time solution behind without turning [TS]

  around [TS]

  yeah right and they open the glove box [TS]

  and the car is still rolling it's just [TS]

  like fuck you a thousand million times [TS]

  yeah so a people are really excited [TS]

  about they're really excited about Star [TS]

  Wars i don't i don't care i just think [TS]

  you may have just turns I'm kind of [TS]

  important public corner in old man [TS]

  that's so I but i watch that watch the [TS]

  watch the online advertisement for the [TS]

  film and was an alternately [TS]

  disappointing possible that some people [TS]

  like Star Wars I didn't get the boots [TS]

  that it if you picture me in a giant [TS]

  shawl collar cardigan sweater angrily [TS]

  slamming a book it's basically the for [TS]

  the the the French father in Munich and [TS]

  you know chopping chopping up some [TS]

  shallots like you could have been my son [TS]

  onp our dad um snow boots for you know [TS]

  our mmm i did I actually did get some [TS]

  boots [TS]

  ok good baby it will work they weren't [TS]

  talking climbing boots you know there's [TS]

  no no because we're kind of on the [TS]

  record publicly the UI I think you are [TS]

  it sounded like you were really heavily [TS]

  weighing toward soon as you hit the [TS]

  skype button you're going to walk [TS]

  outside and by a wooden fork and spoon [TS]

  well so here's what happened someone on [TS]

  Twitter yes I saw ya right info then I [TS]

  made us aware of a talk about technology [TS]

  that we've been missed [TS]

  they did they were like what the what [TS]

  are you doing giggling why don't you get [TS]

  chopsticks and I was like oh boy haha [TS]

  what the hell have I been doing [TS]

  why am i not carrying chopsticks all the [TS]

  time because chopsticks you can use for [TS]

  about the thousand applications you know [TS]

  points points the clever Twitter guy who [TS]

  shall take yeah great [TS]

  uh-huh next time you are around a fire [TS]

  where people are eating stew pull out [TS]

  some chopsticks and so kind of response [TS]

  you get [TS]

  good point good point wait a minute you [TS]

  bring a fork now but I have these [TS]

  chopsticks turn into a pen [TS]

  good point okay but you're repping right [TS]

  partner yeah whatever wish and you [TS]

  wanted to be like an audible wish that [TS]

  you're pulling out your Claymore and you [TS]

  go here and you got a fork classic scene [TS]

  in the road warrior also where where [TS]

  where the road warrior himself Mad Max [TS]

  particular red wire that's right opens a [TS]

  can of dog food [TS]

  he has a dog yeah right he's got like an [TS]

  Australian Shepherd candidates right a [TS]

  little australian shepherd dog he opens [TS]

  a can of dog food and you as the viewer [TS]

  in 1981 as a thirteen-year-old boy 1981 [TS]

  you're like oh he's gonna feed his dog [TS]

  and then he pulls out a fork from inside [TS]

  his leather costume and starts eating [TS]

  the dog food which was maybe as shocking [TS]

  thing as any of the death or [TS]

  dismemberment that you see in the film [TS]

  on first viewing like to see the dog [TS]

  food and then we've seen so much growth [TS]

  stuff in the 30 years since then that [TS]

  you forget that there was a time with [TS]

  something like that would really got cut [TS]

  off your lunch just like whoa but then I [TS]

  think Kevin Costner drinking is P very [TS]

  heavily influenced i'm not sure i saw [TS]

  that movie that would be the water felt [TS]

  waterworld no didn't see that movie [TS]

  didn't see water world because I because [TS]

  I follow the adage of a whichever [TS]

  director it was who said don't never [TS]

  make it never direct a film on water [TS]

  forgetting that was that's a quote [TS]

  that's a wikiquote that's sounds like [TS]

  Wallace Shawn in princess bride i think [TS]

  it was before final and land war in Asia [TS]

  never direct a film never direct a film [TS]

  on open water never go up against a [TS]

  sicilian when death is on the line cut [TS]

  some in Saturday's it is still so funny [TS]

  the way said that kind of second sanity [TS]

  any man under the giant but wait the [TS]

  other there's more sorry for a civilian [TS]

  fork is more to this dog food story ok [TS]

  so he's getting the dog food but of [TS]

  course there that's the moment when the [TS]

  film blows up in your mind's mascot [TS]

  because because you're like it's not [TS]

  just that they're driving around in the [TS]

  desert and the than that [TS]

  there don't appear to be any police it [TS]

  truly is the end times it's a great [TS]

  example show don't tell a cannibal today [TS]

  you would get a crawl like four [TS]

  paragraph crawl with a voiceover and [TS]

  some sprite news bits [TS]

  that's what they do today they do that [TS]

  Planet of the Apes movie they doing all [TS]

  these movies now swimming these people [TS]

  leaving dog 30 Mike yet but in that you [TS]

  just all you do you show that you show [TS]

  that seem like oh shit got real right [TS]

  now I understand the entire you the [TS]

  entire world of the film [TS]

  yeah but as he's eating the can of dog [TS]

  food the dog is watching him licking his [TS]

  lips but also the gyro captain is [TS]

  watching him and he was a Greek rest [TS]

  that not the euro captain the gyro cabin [TS]

  I gotta look this up i'm sorry i'm doing [TS]

  out in this match the road where you're [TS]

  talking this is the road warrior the [TS]

  gyro captain's watching him and the gyro [TS]

  captain reaches into his gyro captain [TS]

  costume and pulls out a wooden mixing [TS]

  spoon that is like heavily used [TS]

  and then they then again show don't tell [TS]

  the world [TS]

  double triple explodes because you [TS]

  realize every single person in this [TS]

  world is carrying an eating utensil in [TS]

  his coat and the gyro captain has chosen [TS]

  a wooden make wooden mixing spoon not [TS]

  because that's the best tool but it's [TS]

  because the it's the tool that he found [TS]

  who [TS]

  and you're just like get this film is [TS]

  owning me owning me as a [TS]

  thirteen-year-old and I think that was [TS]

  that is the beginning [TS]

  uh-huh that's the beginning of this [TS]

  feeling that I should always have an [TS]

  eating utensil and then the question is [TS]

  are you a road warrior who has a fucking [TS]

  fork or are you a gyro captain is [TS]

  carrying around a mixing spoon a [TS]

  smartass and Twitter that is chocolate [TS]

  is me [TS]

  actually you don't have a lot of the [TS]

  similar factors by having chopsticks [TS]

  which is an ancient tool that you can [TS]

  use its not feel like you don't want to [TS]

  show especially by having your house [TS]

  right now and it should have a you have [TS]

  a little leather toolkit that i unroll [TS]

  it has a spring for jobs [TS]

  that's all you got your daily carry what [TS]

  they call it the sushi sites where [TS]

  people show what they put their pockets [TS]

  oh I have seen those it really carry [TS]

  it's a thing it's a whole genre it's [TS]

  like let me take you on an excruciating [TS]

  tour of the various kinds of costly [TS]

  knives i keeping this letter back [TS]

  oh my daily carry as you gotta you gotta [TS]

  show for costly wristwatch expensive pen [TS]

  some kind of of a fancy knife and then [TS]

  there's gotta be usually some kind of a [TS]

  dingus that's extra super 22 clever [TS]

  oh it's like some time dependent a [TS]

  lighter or something appendix a lighter [TS]

  yeah mine a did the music for metals to [TS]

  all right don't have to tell me [TS]

  wow I love that guy and the music is [TS]

  very evocative [TS]

  there's a lot of that I have yeah I had [TS]

  my Clarice inside the Highlands for him [TS]

  oh there had his hot licks I are you [TS]

  talking about the the how to you by the [TS]

  hot lets you forget that it's a it's a [TS]

  VHS tape right mines Cosette the king [TS]

  was a little booklet [TS]

  oh and it was amazing because it's only [TS]

  was all just recorded in one take [TS]

  everything is broken away from Queen you [TS]

  know how your mother down and they play [TS]

  the original and then he slowly plays it [TS]

  for you and you learn that I learn to [TS]

  play bohemian rhapsody was really [TS]

  fantastic i was fantastic [TS]

  no I never the one time I was watching [TS]

  MTV and for some reason [TS]

  oh yeah this is office is even more [TS]

  embarrassing i was going to tell you [TS]

  what my daily carriers but now i'm not [TS]

  going to hear both I want to circle back [TS]

  around to it up switching gears and [TS]

  carry can't forget it i'm watching MTV [TS]

  early days has to be about nineteen [TS]

  eighty one two and they're interviewing [TS]

  eric clapton and this was before I had [TS]

  the before I had the realization that [TS]

  that there was something dead inside of [TS]

  eric clapton and it was nothing before [TS]

  his like second big comeback [TS]

  it was before they went after midnight [TS]

  no no that nose for what's the one it's [TS]

  just no way that you use it was brother [TS]

  that one right and and and and there was [TS]

  a there was a good song on that record [TS]

  like a man who's better too bad but i [TS]

  forget what i look like i went but there [TS]

  were there were there was some good some [TS]

  friends of mine actually want to see him [TS]

  on that to her i didn't i didn't go you [TS]

  know that was the arrow that was the era [TS]

  when sixties rock stars were appearing [TS]

  onstage and like dusters [TS]

  oh absolutely there has been a long [TS]

  coming back out of it [TS]

  yeah they're all coming out of the [TS]

  woodwork there in their forties coming [TS]

  out of the woodwork with something you [TS]

  know more palatable version of something [TS]

  that they did kind of done in the [TS]

  sixties and seventies yeah but they but [TS]

  they had a mullet [TS]

  I think he did have a leather duster I [TS]

  think you're right leather duster and a [TS]

  moment and and and you know and it's I'm [TS]

  sad to say because now I'm in my forties [TS]

  like like oh it could it be that these [TS]

  guys were still feeling pretty relevant [TS]

  oh I've been more successful when I was [TS]

  young like it's like they did it exactly [TS]

  forever man [TS]

  already my own she's waiting she was [TS]

  things you wanna you wanna have a [TS]

  forever woman because that's a nice [TS]

  pairing with the forever man [TS]

  registered earlier bergere anyway this [TS]

  is always the amount of time it said to [TS]

  say those words to write them was before [TS]

  I understood there was something [TS]

  permanently dead inside and he was on [TS]

  MTV and you know and I was like oh [TS]

  Clapton Clapton yeah and he's talking [TS]

  about his guitar playing and he's got a [TS]

  guitar in his hand and so like I reach [TS]

  over and I push record on the Betamax [TS]

  player that we had that I kept that I [TS]

  kept in there to record all the UH the [TS]

  bikini running scenes at the end of [TS]

  Benny Hill House so like if i ZZ Top it [TS]

  came on you just run over hit record and [TS]

  you're good i can catch it right get a [TS]

  burner in there and so he so clapping [TS]

  journeys like you know Margot teleport [TS]

  so you know the really simple man I mean [TS]

  it's not like that's not a very good [TS]

  Clapton accent but and he said putting [TS]

  students you know one of the things I do [TS]

  that I'm kind of doing George Harrison [TS]

  ringo starr accent right i don't think [TS]

  it's a little bit Liverpool he says you [TS]

  know I play a other one of these licks [TS]

  and he goes for about that battle power [TS]

  and i was like he just showed me how to [TS]

  play guitar lick and I I rewound the [TS]

  tape a hundred times and I learned [TS]

  this guitar lick that's a pretty good [TS]

  lick and I was like wow [TS]

  let me do that again and basically that [TS]

  one quitarle Suzie that's the only [TS]

  guitar like I ever learned and it's the [TS]

  foundation of every single guitar solo [TS]

  I've ever played wow and I don't like [TS]

  like when I was staying at your house [TS]

  one of the first times we ever met [TS]

  no not one of the first time and we've [TS]

  been friends for a while but you sort of [TS]

  our first probably one of our first [TS]

  high-level meetings [TS]

  yeah you showed me that's a pretty good [TS]

  one that's that is super hand and I was [TS]

  like that's a killer guitar riff that [TS]

  was the 2nd r if I'd ever ever notice [TS]

  season 206 you ever need a reasonably [TS]

  everything in G that's it /a do you know [TS]

  the you know also know the the rocks off [TS]

  one right which one is rocks our l just [TS]

  want to go like I I my guitars all [TS]

  fucked up the can get some Chinese right [TS]

  now but you know what to write all you [TS]

  need to know a way that i know i know [TS]

  one more [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  that's good little walk down there so [TS]

  those are those of the guitar licks that [TS]

  I know and that one that I learned from [TS]

  Clapton from my from my beta tape of him [TS]

  sitting at in an mtv studio telling [TS]

  Martha Quinn that he'd that all of his [TS]

  guitar parts were actually really simple [TS]

  and and I felt like after I learned that [TS]

  one guitar part i was good i was covered [TS]

  right i have you can extrapolate a lot [TS]

  from this simple things [TS]

  yeah right and so then you know so that [TS]

  i did that every day every time i got a [TS]

  chance and a little by little I think [TS]

  maybe then off of a cassette tape I [TS]

  learned the solo for bad moon rising [TS]

  that's a good one this one this is what [TS]

  I was talking about with this one you [TS]

  can find always find a good place for [TS]

  this i'm not sure i'm not sure i do this [TS]

  kind of a little Keith Richards see for [TS]

  the bear [TS]

  yeah that's a nice one I should be [TS]

  working with you when we're in a little [TS]

  box somebody shows you the little box em [TS]

  right you know talking about probably [TS]

  the little box somebody drew me the [TS]

  little box on a piece of on a piece of [TS]

  it or permanently it's it's one of those [TS]

  things it's like cab and who's the who's [TS]

  the guy who's the psychologist that low [TS]

  yet no oh yes I care of it [TS]

  doctor doctor doctor here for cereals [TS]

  you know who I'm gonna be the guy that's [TS]

  not fried the other guy but can't take [TS]

  art can I do anymore right now haha it's [TS]

  like a union thing for me o.o you I I [TS]

  see little bomb was nothing but you're [TS]

  bombarded by the pentatonic I could see [TS]

  that on our fretboard like in my brain [TS]

  all the time i see it to either the [TS]

  funniest thing whatever I tune the [TS]

  guitar tech cart [TS]

  whatever I'd tune the guitar and [TS]

  recognizing that you bend the fifth I [TS]

  think about the intersection [TS]

  of northern lights are you doing [TS]

  intersection and been some i am a victim [TS]

  of the intersection of but i'm actually [TS]

  thinking of B intersection of two [TS]

  streets in Anchorage way and for [TS]

  whatever reason it's imprinted in a day [TS]

  cartoon fashion the Cartesian fashion [TS]

  occasion pyramid it takes to love that [TS]

  show like the Cartesian water that makes [TS]

  our beer so delicious haha the mail and [TS]

  cheese for whatever reason this and i'm [TS]

  sure i well I hope other people have [TS]

  this experience where certain like a [TS]

  certain completely unrelated memories [TS]

  get attached 20 actions that you have [TS]

  that you do frequently that you've been [TS]

  doing for forever and and you know every [TS]

  time you brush your teeth you think [TS]

  about the march of dimes or yeah it's [TS]

  time I everytime i tune my guitar I [TS]

  think about this particular intersection [TS]

  in Anchorage I'm just marched and [TS]

  marched dogs you know when you think [TS]

  about that that's kind of a funny and [TS]

  something every dollars made a dog [TS]

  that's what ones and cheese and now from [TS]

  now on I will think of the march of [TS]

  dimes every time I brush my teeth and I [TS]

  don't know why one of those one of the [TS]

  low after i graduated from high school I [TS]

  was at the mall with a good friend of [TS]

  mine and he was moving away and we were [TS]

  walking around the mall and we stopped [TS]

  at a drinking fountain and he said you [TS]

  know he took a drink and then i'm taking [TS]

  a drink and as i'm taking a drink he [TS]

  said I want you every time you see the [TS]

  little drain at the bottom of a drinking [TS]

  fountain [TS]

  I want you to think of me oh whoa [TS]

  and I was like I said whoa he was trying [TS]

  to colonize my brain [TS]

  he was trying to put himself he was he [TS]

  just didn't know I've never met him and [TS]

  now i'm gonna do that [TS]

  yeah he did not that he did not want to [TS]

  be forgotten and she was walking around [TS]

  the mall and he was like how do i make [TS]

  sure that I'm not forgotten [TS]

  it's like everytime you every time you [TS]

  bend over to take a drink of water [TS]

  the drinking fountain I want you and you [TS]

  see that little that little drained i [TS]

  want you to think of me pretty [TS]

  and did it work well no because nobody's [TS]

  drinking fountains that much [TS]

  well above or it was it's just a thing [TS]

  of like I'm not gonna be I'm not so [TS]

  easily colonized but i do remember that [TS]

  moment and I thought about it many times [TS]

  as a kind of example of human frailty [TS]

  man I'm cool I'm from the opposite that [TS]

  but I'm the opposite of that I i can [TS]

  still tell you specifically i remember i [TS]

  mean there's so much dumb shit where you [TS]

  could get into my brain so easily it's [TS]

  appalling it so now I got some for tooth [TS]

  brushing and then i won't remember this [TS]

  conversation and now on the podcast six [TS]

  months from now that you know what's [TS]

  funny is everything which particular [TS]

  markedly I don't remember what I've ever [TS]

  told you the story that's pretty crazy [TS]

  but I am but I remember one time my mom [TS]

  stopped at at a like fate manifested [TS]

  like a 7-eleven type places they've got [TS]

  it can get film for the camera and I [TS]

  said okay she's good just going to get [TS]

  this you gotta get the Kodak film kodak [TS]

  1 1020 exposure [TS]

  okay what is it kodak 1 1020 exposure [TS]

  2110 exposure one-tenth exposure 1 1020 [TS]

  exposure that's when I was like ten and [TS]

  i still have 1 1020 exposure how my [TS]

  brain and I don't have to come up with [TS]

  an antidote [TS]

  oh yeah 30 38 years ago my mom said 120 [TS]

  closer to me and i still can think of it [TS]

  very very easily i'll never forget one [TS]

  tenth exposure look for bread quarter [TS]

  milk stick of butter and a loaf of bread [TS]

  quart of milk stick of butter much and [TS]

  I've I have to think that my brain is [TS]

  full of those things too and they come [TS]

  out they come out all the time and you [TS]

  wonder when you get one of those flash [TS]

  memories where it just seems like you're [TS]

  here you're filling up your brain with [TS]

  something else and all of a sudden it's [TS]

  like well we gotta get we gotta push [TS]

  this thing out and you're just [TS]

  transported to to some memory that you [TS]

  have never had access to its like [TS]

  teleportation for me and [TS]

  and I think for me probably the music [TS]

  the musicality of like the way the way [TS]

  somebody said something there's a [TS]

  certain musicality that really made it [TS]

  stick in my head maybe it made me laugh [TS]

  and made an emotional impact as well but [TS]

  there are there's probably dozens of [TS]

  things like that [TS]

  the doorman outside of a bar as far as [TS]

  I'm concerned all you knew waivers are [TS]

  in purgatory [TS]

  I'll never forget that line haha [TS]

  outside outside of but it was New Wave [TS]

  night at a gay bar leg as well as far as [TS]

  I'm concerned all you new waiver in [TS]

  purgatory and that line it's just a tune [TS]

  in my head forever [TS]

  sure murmurs good record if you like [TS]

  keyboard oriented music the phrase [TS]

  keyboard oriented music it's just stuck [TS]

  in my head [TS]

  why would you say that while i was like [TS]

  50 different ways why would you ever [TS]

  seen murrs a good record if you like [TS]

  keyboard oriented music keyboard [TS]

  oriented music and I don't think about [TS]

  your keyboards on my camera yet camera [TS]

  got some piano on it and that's pretty [TS]

  much it [TS]

  keyboard oriented new keyboard oriented [TS]

  music said the guy at vinyl fever in [TS]

  tampa florida in 1983 my god Shawn [TS]

  Nelson is full of great quotes like that [TS]

  the most famous bacon it it's not a [TS]

  friend [TS]

  no not another jumper the most famous [TS]

  one is oh well god I can't I can't I [TS]

  can't lose it now [TS]

  oh no I never seen anyone so God all [TS]

  stupid as you put oil on the radiator is [TS]

  that a quote that's a quote the [TS]

  Shondells put oil in his car ready [TS]

  his car was overheating or something was [TS]

  like oh shit me when you screw the cap [TS]

  was like uh I guess you put oil in here [TS]

  and put fucking corn oil and Israelis [TS]

  are you kidding [TS]

  take it to a mechanic somewhere in [TS]

  Virginia the never seen it oh no I'm [TS]

  sorry never seen anyone as shit all [TS]

  stupid [TS]

  that's it better as shit all stupid as [TS]

  you put oil in the radiator one-tenth [TS]

  exposure women but the the the memories [TS]

  that poor out of my head and the problem [TS]

  is one night when that happens I seized [TS]

  on them and I say please don't let this [TS]

  be the last time I remember this please [TS]

  brain do not be discouraging this memory [TS]

  and now i'm experiencing at this last [TS]

  time [TS]

  I'm i think about that too and then it's [TS]

  long and never know if that was the last [TS]

  time you wouldn't know right you're not [TS]

  going to recall it and so I grab these [TS]

  memories by the ankle and I'm like [TS]

  please don't go don't go and i and i [TS]

  reinforce them desperately trying to [TS]

  hold on to this feeling of like that [TS]

  just met just degrades it I I think of [TS]

  like knowing your little kit and like [TS]

  use number 44 silly putty was you can [TS]

  make it flat put it on the sunday [TS]

  funnies and then peel it off and you get [TS]

  a reverse image of the sunday funnies on [TS]

  there [TS]

  why would you want why you wanna do that [TS]

  I don't know but of course you do that [TS]

  you get really bloody you make a little [TS]

  pancake you put it on your dagwon [TS]

  blondie and you pull it off [TS]

  exactly how to do its dagwon body is [TS]

  where you put it to it's not like I'm [TS]

  going to get certificates blondie but [TS]

  you are you look at it then and so [TS]

  here's you got two things now on the one [TS]

  hand you kind of fucked up your silly [TS]

  putty a little bit with this wasn't a [TS]

  trauma know about you know what happened [TS]

  you removed a lot of the image from the [TS]

  page and the paper i do it again takes a [TS]

  little bit more the image off and to me [TS]

  that's how memories are I worry that [TS]

  each time at first I'm just removing a [TS]

  little bit of the clarity then I'm [TS]

  removing some of the color and [TS]

  eventually i'm actually destroying the [TS]

  linework m120 exposure attack ships [TS]

  burning off the shoulder of Orion here's [TS]

  in rain [TS]

  ah LTI I don't want you know if the [TS]

  things I've seen Merlin doll yeah sure [TS]

  you get the sea beams think the thing [TS]

  that that's it that's right CBS [TS]

  glittering off the 10 how's our gate [TS]

  every that that's going to go there [TS]

  uh-uh-uh-uh thing is that the seventies [TS]

  live so so vividly in my memory haha I [TS]

  indelible energy shiny secret huh i miss [TS]

  them every intonation of every [TS]

  commercial on the sole survivor [TS]

  I still have every note of that music in [TS]

  my head by bologna has a first date but [TS]

  listen this isn't working so it'll hurt [TS]

  i'm not just talking about the Museum of [TS]

  television industry are like dear [TS]

  remember when you pull into a gas [TS]

  station and there was a man up there was [TS]

  a person that came over and not wiped [TS]

  his hands on a rag and said I'll take [TS]

  you 1 further than the other up i'll [TS]

  take you 1 further than that I heard a [TS]

  sound last week and I i flipped out and [TS]

  my daughter my daughter obviously [TS]

  already thinks I'm not so I was like [TS]

  that sounds that sounds I was like [TS]

  that's the sound you used to hear when [TS]

  you pull into a gas station you know the [TS]

  same way [TS]

  ding ding because you drive over the [TS]

  thing and it goes to drive over the [TS]

  thing that goes ding ding when was the [TS]

  last time you drove everything with 20 [TS]

  years it's got to be honest 20 years and [TS]

  it used to be used rover thing that went [TS]

  ding ding every freaking day all the [TS]

  time and remember your web but the thing [TS]

  is I don't know where it was my bencao a [TS]

  ringtone or something something on the [TS]

  radio but I heard something that sounded [TS]

  enough like the ding ding it's that tone [TS]

  ding ding and I heard that and I was [TS]

  instantly transported back to like the [TS]

  early oh now now I want one of those [TS]

  that would be so handy if you had one [TS]

  just like got bored here [TS]

  well just the problem is as you remember [TS]

  from the seventies [TS]

  yeah just could not you could not make [TS]

  the ding with your shoes [TS]

  nope i should try stand out there and [TS]

  jump on that hose and couldn't make it [TS]

  go ding so yeah it's not useful [TS]

  I want it unless you unless you own a [TS]

  garage or unless you are a car rental [TS]

  agency or some other thing where you [TS]

  want to be signaled that customers [TS]

  arriving by car [TS]

  I didn't mean to derail you but that had [TS]

  to mention that just because it was like [TS]

  less than a week ago that that sound had [TS]

  hurting years and was instantly like it [TS]

  was a sound that I heard every day still [TS]

  got instantly transported me back I feel [TS]

  like our young listeners right now are [TS]

  rolling their eyes so hard in their [TS]

  heads that they're going to have to go [TS]

  see a doctor because we are having an [TS]

  old man podcast now we're talking about [TS]

  things which Hiram I remember the oil [TS]

  embargo [TS]

  it's not it's not i said that to it [TS]

  there was a time when you couldn't buy [TS]

  ice cream everywhere people don't know [TS]

  yet now instead of america by cigarettes [TS]

  in a pharmacy like a gentleman [TS]

  what we doing we were waiting in line i [TS]

  was waiting in line with the guy that I [TS]

  could tell was 30 probably and I said to [TS]

  him by way of trying to like break the [TS]

  conversational ice better too young to [TS]

  remember the oil embargo and he looked [TS]

  at me he looked at me like i said uh you [TS]

  know like I had said something to the [TS]

  effect of work with it [TS]

  did you ever visit Prussia like your [TS]

  women that junior you're too young to [TS]

  remember the oil embargo I said by way [TS]

  of trying to commiserate with this guy [TS]

  that we were waiting in line at a coffee [TS]

  shop sounds like an awesome terrible [TS]

  pick-up line is going i was going to [TS]

  cancel out here that you too young to [TS]

  remember the oil embargo say how much do [TS]

  you know about the carter administration [TS]

  because I know a lot of members in ski [TS]

  every goal is to turn our thermostats [TS]

  number that is crazy man that helicopter [TS]

  and desert only a few years too old for [TS]

  sure you're altering the only got my god [TS]

  the first never voted for President was [TS]

  Ida caucus me too [TS]

  oh yeah really yeah but you were your [TS]

  age then to caucus and Benson my house a [TS]

  killer lineup [TS]

  it sure was sure was boy and and we lost [TS]

  we lost big time because you run around [TS]

  in that tank with that will fill fitting [TS]

  helmet all that's it turns out story i [TS]

  think i think that was a jamup you know [TS]

  he came to Spokane and I this was one of [TS]

  my first moments of sure like pure crowd [TS]

  work at the Dukakis was coming to speak [TS]

  at the at the big student sports [TS]

  pavilion at Gonzaga and they have down [TS]

  here we have yeah right it's called it's [TS]

  called father sitter dome [TS]

  and the sports arena SATs what let's say [TS]

  eight thousand people and twenty [TS]

  thousand people showed up to see Dukakis [TS]

  in spokane in 1988 and then no one was [TS]

  prepared for it and he was supposed to [TS]

  be there at eight pm and he and the [TS]

  sports stadium was full of people and [TS]

  then there was another in other words [TS]

  each just thousands of people outside [TS]

  who couldn't get in but didn't want to [TS]

  leave without getting a glimpse of the [TS]

  caucus and the police were there and [TS]

  they strung up ropes but they were [TS]

  completely outmatched and so the young [TS]

  democrats were trying to do crowd [TS]

  control and the audience was kind of [TS]

  that this huge crowd outside the stadium [TS]

  is kind of surging against this this [TS]

  rope line that they had and Dukakis [TS]

  didn't come it wasn't that it was 90 are [TS]

  you kidding that it was 930 and and [TS]

  people kept walking the line you know [TS]

  like with that the the a guy from the [TS]

  National Democratic Party would walk the [TS]

  line and say he's on his way everyone [TS]

  wear sarees just he's on his way it'll [TS]

  be a little bit longer and the crowd is [TS]

  is really a lot of people and pushing [TS]

  against this this rope line that's just [TS]

  being held by some undergraduates and [TS]

  they have this look of like total fear [TS]

  in their eyes and I'm in the crowd not [TS]

  involved with the young democrats not a [TS]

  part of the scene at all just came to [TS]

  see the caucus and once i got into the [TS]

  mob scene that I was just there to see [TS]

  the mob and it's kind of cold out the [TS]

  crowd is getting really Restless this [TS]

  guy's been by five or six times saying [TS]

  hey nobody knows it the will be here in [TS]

  a little while and people are starting [TS]

  to not believe them and they're starting [TS]

  to shout back at him and the crowd is [TS]

  pressing forward so that the the the [TS]

  young democrats in their little blue [TS]

  suits and their little blues like skirt [TS]

  then jacket combos are starting to get [TS]

  afraid like they're trying to get [TS]

  panicky they're getting pushed against [TS]

  this wall and there's not there's no [TS]

  room for them to to maneuver and there [TS]

  you know there's something so horrible [TS]

  way to die right because rushed atom.d [TS]

  caucus Dukakis rally that he didn't show [TS]

  up for and there squeaking at the crowd [TS]

  like can you please can't please [TS]

  everybody just take one step back [TS]

  everybody just take my step back and [TS]

  nobody hears them and nobody cares and [TS]

  you know the crowd is starting robble [TS]

  robble robble robble robble and a [TS]

  certain point this this gal that's right [TS]

  in front of me and she's exactly exactly [TS]

  my age she's probably 20 years old and [TS]

  she's just like please please everyone [TS]

  please David she starts to get that the [TS]

  sound of her voice and i'm watching this [TS]

  all go down and I was you know I was [TS]

  just thrilled to be in a in a crowd [TS]

  right but I I see it and I start to and [TS]

  I just have this like flash of of like [TS]

  oh no this this is actually a bad scene [TS]

  it hasn't gotten to be a bad scene yet [TS]

  but it is we are we're at the threat [TS]

  but it is we are we're at the threat [TS]

  old wear it once we cross it it's just a [TS]

  bad team like there's a point where it [TS]

  goes from old boy I hope this doesn't [TS]

  get worse too [TS]

  it's a matter of time until something [TS]

  terrible happens yeah and and kind of [TS]

  can you really can't pull back from that [TS]

  once it starts what had happened was no [TS]

  one was respecting anybody anymore and [TS]

  it was just a question of if to caucus [TS]

  that showed up at that moment it would [TS]

  have been you know would have just been [TS]

  chaos and so for whatever reason I [TS]

  ducked my head under the rope and this [TS]

  girl looked at me with like total panic [TS]

  like here it comes [TS]

  I ducked my head under the Rope I turned [TS]

  around face the crowd and I was like [TS]

  hello everybody can you can I get your [TS]

  attention please [TS]

  and I went into David Lee Roth mode and [TS]

  all of a sudden you know the 400 people [TS]

  that were closest to me had something to [TS]

  look at right all of a sudden there's a [TS]

  guy big guy who's talking in a voice [TS]

  that is audible right everyone all these [TS]

  all these the these undergraduates [TS]

  really pleased everybody's to pack and [TS]

  then all of a sudden there's like hello [TS]

  people and so everybody looks at me and [TS]

  I'm like I want i wanna i want to try [TS]

  something right now can I get everybody [TS]

  to just dosey doe back two steps and [TS]

  everybody steps back takes two steps and [TS]

  I was like very good all right now let's [TS]

  take it you know this is you know this [TS]

  secret wish to just do it like you're [TS]

  David Lee ro yeah I'm gonna get up and [TS]

  everybody takes another two steps back [TS]

  and then I was like tonight is going to [TS]

  be one of the greatest nights of our [TS]

  lives because we are gonna see mike [TS]

  dukakis and everybody kind of cheers but [TS]

  they also know that I'm that I'm mocking [TS]

  so that so they're like laughing and [TS]

  cheering and I just you know the the the [TS]

  top of my head's caught on fire and I [TS]

  was just like so all of a sudden now [TS]

  there's 1,500 people listening to me and [TS]

  laughing [TS]

  and I did 45 minutes 0 top of my voice [TS]

  stand-up comedy based on mike dukakis [TS]

  not having arrived yet and it was that I [TS]

  mean one of the first times that that [TS]

  that I never had that experience where [TS]

  it was just like oh I know what I'm put [TS]

  here on earth to do I am put here on [TS]

  earth to do this whatever this is and [TS]

  you know the young democrats were like [TS]

  all rallying behind me like they I I was [TS]

  their hero and they were like you know [TS]

  oh my god you've got you know please [TS]

  join the young democrats and always kind [TS]

  of crazy stuff and with my and then I [TS]

  had a team i had 10 people who were [TS]

  willing to work with me and for me to [TS]

  move this crowd and to get them to do [TS]

  things and I was like I want everybody [TS]

  to say on the count of three I want [TS]

  everybody say hey whoa you really found [TS]

  your instrument he found my instrument i [TS]

  did it was when you had the the monk [TS]

  down put a high was I was I was just [TS]

  sheepherder I was made to do this you [TS]

  know i had my i have my crook [TS]

  I had my I had my robe [TS]

  I am i canna dog food and my wooden [TS]

  spoon and I was like I will go I will [TS]

  follow this crowd now the crowd and I [TS]

  are together and we are one and then [TS]

  Dukakis arrived and i have I was [TS]

  whipping this crowd into a frenzy just [TS]

  like he's here [TS]

  the man himself mon Dieu God does the [TS]

  crowds like haha and Dukakis arrives his [TS]

  car drives over in through a in through [TS]

  like a garage door [TS]

  we never see him what he gives a gives a [TS]

  45-minute speech in the stadium to the [TS]

  8,000 people that are in there and then [TS]

  that the whole time I'm out there like [TS]

  he's gonna come out you know making [TS]

  promises on behalf of mike dukakis no [TS]

  one has authorized me to do this but I'm [TS]

  like he's going to he's going to stand [TS]

  on that stare and he is going to tell us [TS]

  his plan for America [TS]

  I'm i turned into al pacino [TS]

  and and then at the end of the thing at [TS]

  the end of the rally and this is where [TS]

  this is where i lost my faith in the [TS]

  Democratic Party because they were [TS]

  national Democrats who were there and [TS]

  who were very happy about what I was [TS]

  doing very proud of me and and I was [TS]

  like he's gonna come and stand on that [TS]

  stare right there thousands of people [TS]

  out here we've been waiting for hours [TS]

  and they were like oh yeah they're [TS]

  talking into their little headset [TS]

  microphones and when mike dukakis was [TS]

  done he got in his car and he drove away [TS]

  and never appeared before this massive [TS]

  crowd that had that had that was [TS]

  standing at the basically the foot of [TS]

  the staircase that he could have walked [TS]

  out the door been like wave blow a kiss [TS]

  we all would have voted for him instead [TS]

  his his handlers probably didn't even [TS]

  tell him that crowd was out there or [TS]

  whatever but it wasn't it was a moment [TS]

  where when that crowd dispersed in [TS]

  feeling of disappointment like I stood [TS]

  there and shake hands with people I was [TS]

  like you know we went through this [TS]

  together this was this was us you and me [TS]

  and and i felt i was i was i was born [TS]

  again born again in the light and put [TS]

  like that could that could have been if [TS]

  you know if he had five or ten more [TS]

  moments like that around the country [TS]

  could maybe a little bit different [TS]

  although the I feel like I feel like it [TS]

  was I saw a glimpse behind the curtain [TS]

  of how not to run a political campaign [TS]

  it just because it really really seem to [TS]

  find buy that kind of a lack of energy [TS]

  and enthusiasm [TS]

  yeah and it was i I have to imagine I [TS]

  mean if some guy if some like balding [TS]

  guy in a in a in a light blue suit [TS]

  walked up to him after his speech and [TS]

  whispered in his ear a governor they're [TS]

  like 8,000 people out side here and [TS]

  there's we can just walk you up and like [TS]

  walk out the door and wave to them just [TS]

  making parents yeah okay [TS]

  i I don't I don't believe that he that [TS]

  he never received that information [TS]

  because no politician of any kind even a [TS]

  lackadaisical one would say now I kinda [TS]

  want to get to the hotel gonna catch [TS]

  Carson you know so what it was was a [TS]

  failure of the guy the balding guy in [TS]

  the blue suit [TS]

  whoo-hoo was concerned with timetables [TS]

  Oh governor we're already late [TS]

  we need to get back to the you know this [TS]

  is the thing that never would have [TS]

  happened with Bill Clinton right bill [TS]

  clinton always stood he went he would go [TS]

  out and shake that those people's hands [TS]

  until two o'clock in the morning but [TS]

  somebody you know the person whose job [TS]

  it was and that was that was what was so [TS]

  interesting about it because what stood [TS]

  out to me was there is somebody whose [TS]

  job this is but that person doesn't [TS]

  recognize that this is their job they've [TS]

  been given a job description they are [TS]

  they are following that job description [TS]

  that they are missing the fact that this [TS]

  is their job actually [TS]

  and so there is a there is this concept [TS]

  of a job description which is um which [TS]

  is solve problems as they arise or you [TS]

  know in other ways just to think that [TS]

  your your job you know I have this [TS]

  feeling sometimes that I don't mean to [TS]

  sound like mean or something but like [TS]

  that you know once you get any kind of [TS]

  to do anything good or big you [TS]

  eventually need to have some structure [TS]

  eventually like infrastructure and [TS]

  bureaucracy to run anything the promise [TS]

  once you introduce infrastructure and [TS]

  bureaucracy to anything the [TS]

  infrastructure and bureaucracy becomes [TS]

  the most important part of the product [TS]

  of the whole entire process in my [TS]

  opinion the bureaucracy will always win [TS]

  and I'll again unite we will not [TS]

  clapping song from the eighties that [TS]

  lyrics are always win with a [TS]

  and so in this instance though you have [TS]

  to understand like yes you're you're in [TS]

  your job is certainly to do your [TS]

  administrative stuff and make sure that [TS]

  he doesn't get you know sniped or [TS]

  anything like that but the motorway job [TS]

  is in that campaign no matter who you [TS]

  are is to notice an unrecognized [TS]

  opportunity and capitalize on it because [TS]

  that's a change in election [TS]

  yeah it's looking like oh shit man [TS]

  there's gotta be at least a couple [TS]

  people in this one over 7,000 people [TS]

  that could have a huge impact we don't [TS]

  even know it it's not going to damage [TS]

  more energy they're already here right [TS]

  when no brainer to go out there as a [TS]

  photo op and go oh he could've just [TS]

  going to watch Carson but he came out [TS]

  because it meant a lot to him to get in [TS]

  touch with the people who believed him [TS]

  in that program and it's the weird thing [TS]

  about unity finders everybody's job on [TS]

  that campaign is ultimately to get him [TS]

  elected and so and i'm sure there was [TS]

  sure the guy in the blue suit was like [TS]

  well you know he probably he needs his [TS]

  rest he's been going all day when this [TS]

  is a this is Spokane Washington like [TS]

  unimportant crowd an umbilical it's [TS]

  better to conserve his energy you know [TS]

  people making that kind of decision and [TS]

  and making them making them incorrectly [TS]

  because ultimately like everybody's job [TS]

  is the same on that campaign and it is [TS]

  to do whatever it takes to get him [TS]

  elected and I mean not whatever it takes [TS]

  whatever it takes within the law right [TS]

  whatever ethic whatever it takes within [TS]

  fxm the law but there's so much dynamism [TS]

  in every campaign like in retrospect you [TS]

  can see these big patterns and go well [TS]

  really everything after this date it was [TS]

  a foregone conclusion but you don't [TS]

  really ever know because you never know [TS]

  what's gonna come up you don't know it [TS]

  was like a gary hart kind of thing is [TS]

  going to happen you don't know when this [TS]

  game is going to completely change and [TS]

  you've got a scanning that in scanning [TS]

  the horizon being ready for any kind of [TS]

  an opportunity [TS]

  do you remember it wasn't that long ago [TS]

  maryland yeah do you remember when Mitt [TS]

  Romney was running for the American [TS]

  presidency Mitt Romney was a republican [TS]

  candidate for the presidency [TS]

  that's right i remember the name in [TS]

  recent recent memory [TS]

  well and feels his people who comprise [TS]

  some of the best-connected political [TS]

  minds in our country [TS]

  believed that he was going to be the [TS]

  victor until uh until after the polls [TS]

  close [TS]

  I think they thought he was gonna walk [TS]

  away with it but you they were gloating [TS]

  about it that is how little anybody [TS]

  knows what is the part of that is ok get [TS]

  ready John you get to be here for the [TS]

  premiere of one of my most despised [TS]

  douche catchphrases cool don't you think [TS]

  that's mostly optics just mostly we need [TS]

  to make it look like that's the case [TS]

  whether we believe it or not [TS]

  no no I i I've seen of a lot of those [TS]

  optics moments as you described [TS]

  I it is a much optics moment is that [TS]

  objects with AK opt IKS I'm not [TS]

  obviously the sea and it's it's another [TS]

  one of those words we could use [TS]

  something that's perfectly fine instead [TS]

  how it looks on the optics yeah optics [TS]

  no I believe honestly that a whole lot [TS]

  of those people of the the lion's share [TS]

  of them really honestly believe that [TS]

  there was no way he could lose a to [TS]

  Barack Obama and that it was in the bag [TS]

  that's why they were so that's why they [TS]

  were so devastated but it was so [TS]

  devastatingly not in the bag like I [TS]

  don't think Dukakis thought that he was [TS]

  going to win a certain point it showed [TS]

  pitch it really did show he really [TS]

  linked to the finish line and I mean [TS]

  imagine losing an election to george [TS]

  herbert walker bush it's like losing an [TS]

  election to and at an animated cardboard [TS]

  halloween skeleton [TS]

  1 1020 exposure 1 1020 exposure intent [TS]

  exposure [TS]