Roderick on the Line

Ep. 112: "The Takeaway Dream"

 

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  sponsored by Squarespace the all-in-one [TS]

  platform that makes it fast and easy to [TS]

  create your own professional website [TS]

  portfolio or online store for your free [TS]

  trial plus ten percent off anything you [TS]

  by visit squarespace.com and enter the [TS]

  offer code supertrain at checkout a [TS]

  better web starts with your website [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello I John I Berlin half-sick going [TS]

  good did you put it [TS]

  did you put your avatar in your skype [TS]

  profile isn't it it's jarring it's like [TS]

  we've been doing this a long time in [TS]

  this there was never an avatar and in [TS]

  your profile [TS]

  well what you what you probably it is [TS]

  now but you probably stopped noticing [TS]

  was that what I had up there was [TS]

  whatever I threw into skype in order to [TS]

  have an image and probably 2003 yeah [TS]

  yeah it was a selfie this selfie before [TS]

  we call it that a placeholder image that [TS]

  was there for a long time and now you've [TS]

  gone and you clean up your metadata your [TS]

  image could use a refresh [TS]

  haha what is my image i don't see a [TS]

  screen grab for you can't really [TS]

  appreciate because you're probably [TS]

  seeing it at the small size doesn't that [TS]

  does not exaggerate the loftiness of it [TS]

  so you got any field glasses you look [TS]

  like you're blowing out an imaginary [TS]

  birthday candle and it it looks like [TS]

  it's being presented at approximately [TS]

  twelve times of the intended image size [TS]

  kinda looks like somebody smeared [TS]

  vaseline on you [TS]

  well not a good way well you know that [TS]

  was the era don't look at the time do [TS]

  you remember those days you remember how [TS]

  crazy that was i I was I saw some [TS]

  picture of me holding a bag of pirates [TS]

  booty not very long ago when i was [TS]

  really early your meaning i was early [TS]

  young me I know you're a gold mine from [TS]

  my parents booty pirates booty that's [TS]

  before I had maybe that's when I merely [TS]

  new one of your songs [TS]

  yeah that was a that was a that was the [TS]

  thing that was the thing in the early [TS]

  days of memes that was a weird thing why [TS]

  did you do that I don't know variable [TS]

  you for those of you who are who are not [TS]

  all the journal keeper not all the way [TS]

  in to the wikipedia of Berlin some kid [TS]

  came up to me in Boston I was right what [TS]

  was the first long winters tour and I [TS]

  had little short hair and I just was [TS]

  wearing the little close [TS]

  that's a little and the guy comes up to [TS]

  me and he hands me a bag of a snack food [TS]

  and he says can I take a picture of you [TS]

  holding this natural then he said you [TS]

  know sure at the time [TS]

  NEX any kind of communication with [TS]

  people was was important than craved and [TS]

  so I hold up the I hold up the bag of [TS]

  snack food and I and I make a playful [TS]

  face like i am thrilled about it I've [TS]

  never seen Pirate's Booty before but [TS]

  I've never heard of it didn't know what [TS]

  it was and uh and then it turns out that [TS]

  you you were collecting photos of people [TS]

  around the world through an army of [TS]

  minions holding pirates booty and that [TS]

  was part of your early tumblr know a [TS]

  flicker it was a top of flickr tumblr [TS]

  well and there's a lot about this that [TS]

  really feels like a different era [TS]

  how do i begin to count the ways first [TS]

  of all it started out as a thing that my [TS]

  friends and I were doing on livejournal [TS]

  livejournal and I don't know I know I [TS]

  don't know if you were the first one [TS]

  that was probably my friend Dan who at [TS]

  the time I think he's going to Emerson [TS]

  he was like maybe 19 at the time don't [TS]

  him so he's a full grown ass man now [TS]

  attend a very smart guy and he yeah yeah [TS]

  you got pictures of you pictures with [TS]

  the dismemberment plan not a surf [TS]

  classic brands of your classic fans are [TS]

  somewhat they might be giants ben folds [TS]

  and i don't know why but it became with [TS]

  well i don't think i can see why I [TS]

  became a think it was funny and it was [TS]

  stupid and so then every time somebody [TS]

  came to my house and make them take [TS]

  pictures with a bunch of snack food now [TS]

  how is this different so many ways my [TS]

  goodness where do i begin this proceed [TS]

  my flickr time [TS]

  oh wow didn't really I went out and went [TS]

  to sourceforge and downloaded some open [TS]

  source content management system [TS]

  installed it on a server and created one [TS]

  of those like this is a gallery of [TS]

  images and and thus was born booty shots [TS]

  with his easy shots with Z my friend [TS]

  Peter in the eighties he was doing it [TS]

  he's doing a considerable amount of [TS]

  traveling as as some of us did in our [TS]

  in our younger days when we had nothing [TS]

  else to do and he used to drink a lot of [TS]

  Schmidt beer which I don't know if you [TS]

  had that in florida i know it passes the [TS]

  basic test of being probably cheap and [TS]

  probably causing diarrhea [TS]

  yeah you you like it's like showers or [TS]

  something right was it was the cheap [TS]

  beer down in that down in Florida when [TS]

  you're in college not to derail us but [TS]

  you know for me about a a bush was [TS]

  always people here or an old milwaukee [TS]

  and if you got to the real bottom you [TS]

  get the like generic ABC brand sure the [TS]

  the bush bush family of course are the [TS]

  the pan heiser bushes [TS]

  yes there are very big in Atlanta those [TS]

  people damn it was it was back in st. [TS]

  Louis they marry the natural light [TS]

  family right that's and that's an empire [TS]

  was born in the in the northwest natural [TS]

  is a very refreshing beer when you're in [TS]

  florida John is already so i'll touch to [TS]

  it because there's nothing in it sets [TS]

  for Florida it is yellow colored water [TS]

  but up here in the northwest Schmidt [TS]

  beer really had a lock on the cheap up [TS]

  like like rockin it was the cheap [TS]

  rock'n'roll beer and it was a lot of [TS]

  people call it animal because the cans [TS]

  had pictures of different sort of [TS]

  fifties a graphic art of like salmon or [TS]

  moose or you know it look it look like [TS]

  look like like a animal illustrations [TS]

  from boy's life [TS]

  Oh a little distance it looks like a can [TS]

  of soup [TS]

  yes yeah we had a little bit of a can of [TS]

  soup vibe only this is cool what a great [TS]

  logo and it is a guy waterskiing these [TS]

  are wonderful cans [TS]

  yeah and you could get you could get a [TS]

  half recognized for four dollars and [TS]

  Schmidt beer just was it was it was so [TS]

  good for the money and also it it just [TS]

  it felt like a like a lot of beer [TS]

  culture that it became a kind of cult [TS]

  people that drank Schmidt then insisted [TS]

  on Schmidt like I would turn down any [TS]

  beer I would turn down any top shelf [TS]

  here for Schmidt at the time [TS]

  and my friend Peter went so far as to [TS]

  carry a can of Schmidt in his backpack [TS]

  as one in the chamber [TS]

  yeah as he traveled around the world so [TS]

  that he could get a picture of himself [TS]

  holding the Schmidt in front of the Taj [TS]

  Mahal get a picture of himself holding a [TS]

  schmidt with the you know the Dalai Lama [TS]

  and he he does he still has a like it a [TS]

  photo album of yellowing 25-year old [TS]

  photos of him holding Schmidt beer you [TS]

  know at the Temple Mount in Jerusalem [TS]

  and I mean it a lot of cases it was it [TS]

  was borderline offensive that this kid [TS]

  was standing here holding a beer at a [TS]

  people we can walk yeah but uh I was [TS]

  with him on the steps of the Vatican one [TS]

  day and he pulled out a Schmidt Schmidt [TS]

  to you know to to ready himself to take [TS]

  his Schmidt picture and he set the beer [TS]

  down on the steps of the Vatican and [TS]

  while we're standing there with our [TS]

  little uh a plastic like a disposable [TS]

  cameras one of the swiss guards with his [TS]

  like long pike and his big feathered hat [TS]

  or whatever he he sees this kid put a [TS]

  can down on the steps of the Vatican and [TS]

  he walks over and happened really fast [TS]

  walks over picks up the can and turns it [TS]

  to face him and looks at it any and it [TS]

  was clear that he just wanted to make [TS]

  sure it wasn't a bomb or something you [TS]

  know like if you can put something down [TS]

  the steps the Vatican apparently the [TS]

  Swiss Guard takes a renewed interest and [TS]

  there's this moment that is burned in [TS]

  our minds of this Swiss Guard in full [TS]

  regalia holding a Schmidt beer and [TS]

  looking at it you know it with this [TS]

  quizzical look of like the hub the Apes [TS]

  holding the are looking at the obelisk [TS]

  in 2001 [TS]

  and none of us to get our cameras up we [TS]

  were so dumbfounded that we're standing [TS]

  there holding on campus like uh and then [TS]

  he realizes what he is he gets a kind of [TS]

  smirk on his face and he puts the beard [TS]

  and all happened in just a split second [TS]

  and then we were like Sir sir could you [TS]

  hold the beer again and he wouldn't then [TS]

  he went back to completely ignoring a [TS]

  stone-faced like it was this it's this [TS]

  it's this photograph that that didn't [TS]

  happen that is more impressed in my mind [TS]

  I have the eye of this this fantastic [TS]

  picture in my head of this Swiss Guard [TS]

  holding a Schmidt and turned out way [TS]

  better than I expected I I saw him pike [TS]

  in that thing [TS]

  Oh wouldn't I mean any I mean Oh any [TS]

  interaction with a Swiss Guard they're [TS]

  like they're like the beefeaters out in [TS]

  front of your not beefeaters the know [TS]

  what you mean the kind of funny hat [TS]

  fuzzy hat out in front of a Buckingham [TS]

  Palace you can't get them to keep them [TS]

  to respond it's kind of it's like a it's [TS]

  like a-a-a-a bro dickhead move on this [TS]

  sign with a hashtag on it [TS]

  well you talk about livejournal I [TS]

  remember I remember people on [TS]

  livejournal I was not on lifetime [TS]

  whatever your widely discussed online i [TS]

  remember being a topic on livejournal [TS]

  and I was very upset because you [TS]

  couldn't see what they were saying [TS]

  didn't see what they were saying and I [TS]

  remember saying to you [TS]

  what are they saying about me on [TS]

  livejournal and he said what happens on [TS]

  livejournal stays online [TS]

  oh I don't think i would have said you [TS]

  did you were you wouldn't tell me what [TS]

  they were saying because it was because [TS]

  it violated the livejournal code [TS]

  wow yeah through the nice thing about [TS]

  livejournal that I don't think anybody [TS]

  ever got quite as right at least among [TS]

  sites i use was just how easy it was [TS]

  very easy post they made it you know [TS]

  it's real simple site but they made it [TS]

  really easy to share stuff with a very [TS]

  small group of people and that was [TS]

  probably really frustrating to you but [TS]

  it was very easy to use and and you [TS]

  could you know share things on the [TS]

  internet that not everybody saw it was [TS]

  you and this is we're talking this is [TS]

  2000 maybe when i started doing 2001 and [TS]

  it was on livejournal was funny because [TS]

  i found myself more and more you know [TS]

  writing [TS]

  what I would never think of what i would [TS]

  think I was a blog and that's what led [TS]

  me to go start my first like actual [TS]

  according to Hoyle blog and so what what [TS]

  has happened to all that premium content [TS]

  i think i deleted all of it really you [TS]

  never improve never imported it over and [TS]

  try to remember what happened I mean I [TS]

  had a lot of stuff up there I mean if [TS]

  it's probably still up there on [TS]

  archive.org a lot of money I i wrote a [TS]

  lot about music things I was outraged [TS]

  about how angry I was at the shins were [TS]

  in a McDonald's commercial and what sell [TS]

  outside world that was the worst all but [TS]

  you don't change my mind about that you [TS]

  turn me around was Dan overly he's like [TS]

  what you know what you think these guys [TS]

  are making like that's right and like [TS]

  now they can like it was like when [TS]

  superchunk remember superchunk in the [TS]

  pk's commercial british knights partial [TS]

  there's a really big deal because before [TS]

  it was like around the time that was the [TS]

  first one was around the time your [TS]

  pocket for kitty came out and the story [TS]

  goes according to spin magazine at the [TS]

  time I think it was kind of great issues [TS]

  when it should spin that had like [TS]

  Nirvana and superchargers whole bunch [TS]

  like the new bands that you need to [TS]

  check out it wasn't there was a moment [TS]

  there where we're spinning really was [TS]

  really was nailing it [TS]

  I love that spin the ladies man i I've [TS]

  never missed an issue of spin but but [TS]

  the story went according to this then [TS]

  this is kind of framing for this story [TS]

  was the end of the year pump broke right [TS]

  and so as they say but the story goes [TS]

  the british knights it's only slightly [TS]

  from the simpsons basically they came to [TS]

  the Superchunk and set kids a love that [TS]

  song you do with the thing we're going [TS]

  to put in a commercial because of course [TS]

  you talk like that if you licensed music [TS]

  as user is what Cooper mini cooper [TS]

  people sound like you know but I never [TS]

  actually talked to them I just talked to [TS]

  the young guy with the British accent [TS]

  that's running their ad campaign ok and [TS]

  and they said and they you know who's [TS]

  we're gonna give you this much for this [TS]

  and they're like I actually you know [TS]

  that's not really as I think we do we [TS]

  sell records me to her and that's we [TS]

  don't really want our stuff in and said [TS]

  well maybe apparently finally clear to [TS]

  them that there's a harder easy way we [TS]

  could do this we could basically but my [TS]

  next week have a song that is legally [TS]

  just different enough [TS]

  from this that would still be confused [TS]

  by most of your that's with the song or [TS]

  you know you can let us give you [TS]

  whatever but what would you think [TS]

  probably 18 thousand dollars or [TS]

  something to let us use this song they [TS]

  did it and they were able to like buy a [TS]

  van [TS]

  well as the classic Todd Barry routine [TS]

  goes that I don't know if you don't know [TS]

  if you remember it but he did a routine [TS]

  long time ago 10 years ago about how the [TS]

  the bass player and Fugazi was like hey [TS]

  guys maybe we should charge six bucks a [TS]

  show so that I don't have to have a [TS]

  roommate when I'm 40 [TS]

  oh they're so easy to admire from afar [TS]

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  sponsored by Squarespace the all-in-one [TS]

  platform that makes it fast and easy to [TS]

  create your own professional website [TS]

  portfolio or online store may not [TS]

  realize it but you are using Squarespace [TS]

  right this minute just by listening to [TS]

  this show because john and i have used [TS]

  Squarespace since day one for rotting on [TS]

  the line every episode is tested there [TS]

  and they have been fantastic to work [TS]

  with they are just the best they make [TS]

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  which i highly recommend every plan [TS]

  comes with the ability to create your [TS]

  own online store so you can sell your [TS]

  own stuff right from your own site it is [TS]

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  so whether you're a podcaster or a [TS]

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  Squarespace it's the first place that I [TS]

  go to put anything up nowadays and it's [TS]

  just the best if you decide to give it a [TS]

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  a credit card go to squarespace com [TS]

  and you know what you get a free trial [TS]

  plus ten percent of any package you [TS]

  choose by using this special offer code [TS]

  supertrain when you checkout we are very [TS]

  grateful to our friends at square space [TS]

  for supporting Roderick on the line we [TS]

  could not do it without comes [TS]

  I woke up this morning having had one of [TS]

  those dreams like the last dream of the [TS]

  night right the one that you remember [TS]

  the takeaway dream and in my takeaway [TS]

  dream I was having a minor dispute with [TS]

  the shitty gal at a rock show you know [TS]

  one of those situations where somebody [TS]

  pushed me from behind and I bumped into [TS]

  her and she turned around and was mad [TS]

  and then I woke up and I'm like that's [TS]

  like having a dream about being at work [TS]

  you know it's like it's like dreaming [TS]

  that you're working at a cash register [TS]

  and then you wake up and it's time to go [TS]

  to work like to have to have a dream [TS]

  where I'm just in a minor social dispute [TS]

  you have a minor minor bit of social [TS]

  awkwardness in a public place that you [TS]

  know I remember such feud streams [TS]

  compared to what i used to do I feel [TS]

  robbed to have a tree like that [TS]

  yeah I felt robbed do I woke up and I [TS]

  was like that's really is you're sending [TS]

  me into the day with that feeling the [TS]

  feeling of just like you know it's it [TS]

  one of those it if it if the event had [TS]

  happened in real life it would be one of [TS]

  those situations where you then you're [TS]

  sitting in your car [TS]

  twenty minutes later and you're still [TS]

  thinking about what you should have said [TS]

  to her like a cat for our and you know [TS]

  two days later like oh I can and and I [TS]

  let it didn't even happen it's a dream [TS]

  that's the worst i'm sitting here I'm [TS]

  standing you're mad at an imaginary [TS]

  person who said something to me at an [TS]

  imaginary rock show using that phrase uh [TS]

  listless predella scally a you don't you [TS]

  know phrase mmm that you know you ain't [TS]

  kidding me you know the phrase in the [TS]

  one it's basically the george costanza [TS]

  moment this means i think spirit of the [TS]

  stairs or weight of the stairs [TS]

  it's French phrase meaning like it's the [TS]

  thing you really should something you [TS]

  should have said after it's too late the [TS]

  same thing i hate when people tell me [TS]

  their dreams and consequently i do not [TS]

  tell them my dreams but I say what I [TS]

  dreamed about last night / you remember [TS]

  your [TS]

  yeah i'll tell ya it's just it's [TS]

  interesting for regional reasons my [TS]

  takeaway dream i had the Manhattan [TS]

  person's dream I had a very intense [TS]

  super-clear dream that i found extra [TS]

  rooms in my house [TS]

  oh fun dream apparently this is one that [TS]

  happens a lot people who live in [TS]

  Manhattan [TS]

  uh-huh and III scene i'm not super [TS]

  interesting to go into but they open me [TS]

  a the the clothes closet where the where [TS]

  the ironing board comes down but it [TS]

  turns out it's actually a door to like [TS]

  another bedroom and another bathroom the [TS]

  beauty of that kind of dream like this [TS]

  country have a regular little kid kind [TS]

  of gem week like you move you move a [TS]

  brick and you see that there's a room [TS]

  behind their the the really excellent [TS]

  Manhattan person's dream though is when [TS]

  you just you get something out of your [TS]

  closet and you see you actually see a [TS]

  literal door there you go oh I never [TS]

  realized i have a whole other house [TS]

  inside my house was great had a [TS]

  coin-operated laundry and was a parent [TS]

  based on the expiration dates of the [TS]

  yogurt in the refrigerator because yes [TS]

  it also had a kitchen was that people [TS]

  were using it and the yogurt and only [TS]

  expired a couple weeks ago which led me [TS]

  to believe that people are coming in [TS]

  there and then I felt kind of bad i [TS]

  thought you know i am I don't know how [TS]

  the least would include that I don't [TS]

  know if it is your place that's you know [TS]

  la can be very complicated i'm not sure [TS]

  that will be covered government able to [TS]

  lock straight when you go to sleep [TS]

  tonight the first thing you should do is [TS]

  change the locks on that place [TS]

  ok the man i'm a grown-ass man i woke up [TS]

  this morning and it adds happen to me [TS]

  the half-dozen times my life I've ever [TS]

  had this particular flavor of dream you [TS]

  can guess what i wanted to do I was like [TS]

  there's got to be hidden rooms somewhere [TS]

  i know i've been around the perimeter of [TS]

  my house i forget if it's anywhere it's [TS]

  probably outside or it's in what appears [TS]

  to be you know it's like in a watchman [TS]

  workshop figures out there's a hidden [TS]

  area by measuring the size of the closet [TS]

  I'm thinking there's got to be a panel [TS]

  you forget this feeling there's got to [TS]

  be a room here I don't have got to be [TS]

  like an Amityville Horror room that I [TS]

  don't know about because that would be [TS]

  so sweet [TS]

  oh for sure well I you know the problem [TS]

  is i have a couple of things like that [TS]

  in my house but but their utility to me [TS]

  is is somewhat diminished by the [TS]

  knowledge that at all you have to do is [TS]

  smoke me out [TS]

  like there's no there's no panic room [TS]

  uncle there's no monk hole because all [TS]

  you have to do is set the house on fire [TS]

  on them [TS]

  yeah you're back in your secret room [TS]

  good job good job little little toad in [TS]

  a hole like you'd be you'd be roasted no [TS]

  matter where you were cuz it's a [TS]

  Woodhouse and there's no there's no like [TS]

  what what it really needs ya among colon [TS]

  like out like it like a tunnel [TS]

  yeah and died i don't think there's a [TS]

  tunnel at one point some guys from the [TS]

  city came and they had a little [TS]

  underground submarine they were they [TS]

  were they were moving my gas line and I [TS]

  so I go out there and I i get it i [TS]

  intervene and I say hey i see that you [TS]

  guys are getting ready to move my gas [TS]

  line i want you to move it over here [TS]

  instead of where you're moving it and [TS]

  they're like well and I said well here's [TS]

  the thing i want to do i want to [TS]

  excavate here where you're putting the [TS]

  gas line i want you to move it over on [TS]

  the other side and they talked about it [TS]

  when they're like all right we can do it [TS]

  and they pulled out this this probably [TS]

  two-foot-long torpedo that was connected [TS]

  to like pneumatic hose of some kind and [TS]

  they dig a trench and they stick this [TS]

  torpedo in the ground like a spike for [TS]

  going sideways and they turn it on and [TS]

  the thing like vibrates and starts to [TS]

  travel through the earth and it's like a [TS]

  it's like a mole on a robot mobile [TS]

  pulling is little to behind him and he [TS]

  heads off [TS]

  he heads off under the yard he the [TS]

  vibration causes him to move in any [TS]

  direction that he can yeah right here [TS]

  look forward to moving forward that's [TS]

  that's a very clever primitive little [TS]

  submarine rabbi was very interesting [TS]

  he's he's going forward an end and then [TS]

  when he gets to the other side you know [TS]

  they kind of set him in motion and then [TS]

  there's a guy on the other side has dug [TS]

  a hole waiting for him to come out and [TS]

  then it's it's a it's a perfectly sized [TS]

  told to run a gas line through [TS]

  so I was like wow this is cool said he [TS]

  gets about halfway across the yard and [TS]

  then it's like oh what happened he's not [TS]

  he stopped moving and they tried to pull [TS]

  it back and they couldn't get him back [TS]

  they tried to go forward he wouldn't go [TS]

  forward and I was like oh god damn thats [TS]

  this is exactly what I didn't want to [TS]

  have happen and so all of a sudden they [TS]

  go into emergency mode and it seemed [TS]

  like primarily because they really love [TS]

  their little mole and they didn't want [TS]

  to lose him but they could tell by how [TS]

  much line had gone out like how far he [TS]

  was probably knew where he was and they [TS]

  were they were super worried about the [TS]

  mold all of a sudden it was just like [TS]

  you know we gotta get the mole and it's [TS]

  because I guess it's expensive but also [TS]

  like you get attached [TS]

  yeah they seemed like they felt like he [TS]

  was their friend and so also therefore [TS]

  guys from the city in those flat hard [TS]

  hats jumping in the center of my yard [TS]

  with their shovels out and I was like [TS]

  wow [TS]

  everybody hold on let's slow down before [TS]

  we end up it's too late they were like [TS]

  holy they were completely in like a [TS]

  chain gang mode of digging and now [TS]

  there's a success through the tricky [TS]

  really kicks in [TS]

  there's a 6-foot deep it in the center [TS]

  of my yard I'm like oh fuck like now and [TS]

  they discover a giant they discovered [TS]

  that that whole part of my yard was a [TS]

  septic field for the old have build [TS]

  septic systems little all essentially it [TS]

  hit a cistern full of poo formally and [TS]

  went and managed it he was making such [TS]

  good progress through the ground that he [TS]

  managed to penetrate one wall of the [TS]

  poon sister and then he fell into the [TS]

  right into the maha know any probably [TS]

  just kept on working and it was just [TS]

  like a little [TS]

  but he couldn't there's not nowhere for [TS]

  him to go with like Johnson [TS]

  administration poo right i mean that [TS]

  this house has been hooked up to the [TS]

  local sewer system at least 450 years [TS]

  probably longer and so so now moly is in [TS]

  the hole more holes in the in the pool [TS]

  hall and these guys with their hard hats [TS]

  are standing around and they so they [TS]

  they uncover this this septic system and [TS]

  they're all standing there and there's a [TS]

  lid and they open the lid there looking [TS]

  down into it and they're all real [TS]

  disappointed because they love moly but [TS]

  nobody wants to be the first one down [TS]

  the hole and I'm standing there really [TS]

  upset that my yard is all trashed and [TS]

  these guys just don't you know they're [TS]

  like and and the foreman the foreman was [TS]

  like this is your fault you told us to [TS]

  move the line if we put the line where [TS]

  we were going to put it would have been [TS]

  fine looks like you must be like firemen [TS]

  firefighters being mad like you being [TS]

  mad a firefighter because they broke a [TS]

  window in your life this is our job [TS]

  you know this is what we do yeah I want [TS]

  Anna and to a certain extent i was like [TS]

  hey look I mean I told you I wanted you [TS]

  to move the light it's not like I became [TS]

  the box of you you're the chief you know [TS]

  the guy who knows that i didn't even [TS]

  know these things existed and it was you [TS]

  know when i bought the house of course [TS]

  we pulled up to a huge 500 gallon oil [TS]

  tanks out of the yard one that was for [TS]

  the house and one that was over by the [TS]

  barn that was different for heating well [TS]

  well though I think the house 1 was [TS]

  heating oil the one over by the barn was [TS]

  a massive tank i think i might have been [TS]

  tractor oil or something [TS]

  anyway so I had said so all of a sudden [TS]

  I'm looking at this yard and I'm like [TS]

  what else is buried under here is there [TS]

  maybe there is a tunnel [TS]

  maybe there are maybe it's a network of [TS]

  tunnels [TS]

  maybe its tunnels all the way to Hanoi [TS]

  anyway so they figure out the guy the [TS]

  foreman goes over to their big truck [TS]

  with the multitude of flashing lights [TS]

  and he pulls out a suppose out some [TS]

  elaborate hook majigger that's [TS]

  specifically designed to retrieve moly [TS]

  from shitholes and he gets down in there [TS]

  is like this you know this had better [TS]

  work and he manages to hook moly [TS]

  can they pull him up and the funny thing [TS]

  is we're all standing around this whole [TS]

  there's no smell because whatever poo [TS]

  and pee is in there is has been sitting [TS]

  in their 60 years and I'm like really [TS]

  basically compost probably I'm like [TS]

  there's no pool or pee in there it's [TS]

  just dirt and water by now and make the [TS]

  form and turns and looks at me he's like [TS]

  oh it's sooo oh it's poo let me go [TS]

  come on and it's like it's not boots its [TS]

  third certain water but in any case he [TS]

  didn't want to get you didn't want to [TS]

  jump down in there and so he retrieves [TS]

  moly and the unhook him and they're like [TS]

  all right well we're going to different [TS]

  direction and they ended up putting the [TS]

  and putting the line where I didn't want [TS]

  it I message they filled it back in but [TS]

  you had like a they build it back in but [TS]

  they had they had trenched across the [TS]

  roots of a big tree that I was really [TS]

  worried about there can be no I suffice [TS]

  to say there is still an enormous scar [TS]

  in my yard from this boulder dash God [TS]

  and and you know what can i say but and [TS]

  at and also i have the awareness that [TS]

  there's a busa stern under the yard [TS]

  which is not a thing that i can forget [TS]

  you know like a I suppose there are some [TS]

  people who can let let time sort of [TS]

  fog that knowledge out but so they're [TS]

  just like oh yeah my yard but I'm all [TS]

  every time I walk across that I'm like [TS]

  I'm standing right on top of it right [TS]

  now [TS]

  somebody else's pool would be if not [TS]

  even mine people long-dead party problem [TS]

  also is if you did install I said [TS]

  network of tunnels even if you installed [TS]

  one basic means of egress tunnel [TS]

  speaking yeah I everybody could see it [TS]

  you can actually cloak your yard which [TS]

  would seem suspicious like as you want [TS]

  to do that [TS]

  well the way to do it is to is to begin [TS]

  a capital project where you are doing a [TS]

  lot of improvements all over the place [TS]

  and the yard is it just a hustle-bustle [TS]

  of of activity and one of those things [TS]

  is you know one of those things involves [TS]

  a backhoe and a large trench and it [TS]

  could be super electrical it could [TS]

  there's a lot of things could be could [TS]

  be happening but people are you know [TS]

  you're focusing their attention on the [TS]

  fact that you're also replacing the roof [TS]

  or building a windmill or whatever it is [TS]

  mm isn't it miss direction yeah exactly [TS]

  mr. action and then you can view then [TS]

  you can you finish off the the escape [TS]

  trench and then just let people let [TS]

  again let that fog of memory happened [TS]

  because people are not expecting you to [TS]

  be thinking that far in advance [TS]

  now and that that's the tragedy is they [TS]

  wouldn't even expect it seems to me [TS]

  though if you could even get something [TS]

  to get you from like you punch a code [TS]

  into the washer dryer something moves [TS]

  you go now and come out in the barn that [TS]

  would still give you a nice head start [TS]

  if you help so absolutely and that's you [TS]

  know what things are not to give away [TS]

  too much but that would be one direction [TS]

  to build an escape tunnel from the [TS]

  washer and dryer to the barn if you're [TS]

  gonna break ground i'm out the I think [TS]

  you should have multiple solutions if [TS]

  you're gonna get you're going to break [TS]

  ground on some kind of a system you [TS]

  might as well have several things and [TS]

  obviously don't tell me because I might [TS]

  collapse under torture right right well [TS]

  one of the things I wanted to do was go [TS]

  to the local elementary schools and a [TS]

  lot of them are [TS]

  a lot of them are using the portable [TS]

  method of increasing capacity for there [TS]

  for their kids right that they cover the [TS]

  playground with portables yeah and some [TS]

  of those portables our old the oldest [TS]

  ones i think date to the twenties and [TS]

  those portables have like hardwood [TS]

  floors and I was a cabin at their [TS]

  beautiful only like oak floors and [TS]

  woodwork designs are basically mobile [TS]

  homes but sure there are more shot [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah but the old ones are are [TS]

  are beautiful old there it's like living [TS]

  in a boat except if the boat had 15-foot [TS]

  ceiling [TS]

  I want to I want to first grade in one [TS]

  of those and they had the most wonderful [TS]

  euphemism for them they didn't they [TS]

  didn't call them you know the the [TS]

  externals they didn't call the mobile [TS]

  homes they called them the colonies [TS]

  mm that's sweet and it was it was like a [TS]

  cabinet was just pretty nice setup [TS]

  well so what I what I want to do is go [TS]

  to go around the school district here [TS]

  and you know the problem the problem is [TS]

  that nobody appreciates nice things and [TS]

  they surplus these things all the time [TS]

  and some of them just go into landfills [TS]

  and some of them end up [TS]

  I don't know where they go but grab one [TS]

  of those truck it over here put it over [TS]

  the swimming pool use the swimming pool [TS]

  is it because the portables and I've [TS]

  measured I've actually going to measure [TS]

  local portables at nearby elementary [TS]

  schools the portable would fit perfectly [TS]

  over the swimming pool haha man is in [TS]

  that then the swimming pool goes away [TS]

  but it becomes like a bunker under my [TS]

  little cabin / dance studio in the [TS]

  backyard and then how much extra work [TS]

  would it be to disconnect network of [TS]

  tunnels not much extra when you see [TS]

  measure that you're not you're not [TS]

  you're saying in three dimensions it [TS]

  would fit into the pool [TS]

  no over the pool hard it would fit is [TS]

  larger than the pool the pool is a large [TS]

  pool but the porthole ricc you can have [TS]

  built-in it submits like it makes its [TS]

  own basement [TS]

  exactly you would just the airport i [TS]

  mean i have a [TS]

  one of those hundred foot measuring [TS]

  tapes who as you do for food and I i [TS]

  carted one down to the local school and [TS]

  I was out there in the middle of the [TS]

  night measuring the portables possibly [TS]

  go up and came home and measure to [TS]

  measure the pool and I was like oh you [TS]

  could you could put this we can put this [TS]

  portable on on the four corners a whole [TS]

  would go away and the and the decking [TS]

  the concrete port decking around the [TS]

  pool would just become the sidewalk [TS]

  around your point the apron around the [TS]

  outside [TS]

  yeah yeah and then I you know I think [TS]

  what you do is you face the big windows [TS]

  of the portable to ward the house ever [TS]

  get the afternoon Sun and then when [TS]

  you're in there stretching to yo get [TS]

  dancing doing your seven-minute workout [TS]

  I like you there [TS]

  the year basking in the glow of of like [TS]

  your little colony it would you be [TS]

  basically creating a colony here you are [TS]

  really close to having a compound it's [TS]

  just it's right around the corner [TS]

  yeah and i think you know right now of [TS]

  course I what we call this house the [TS]

  farm but i think if i had one more [TS]

  building i would start calling at the [TS]

  colony [TS]

  yeah at least 17 year old girl named [TS]

  sunshine up like the yellow deli in [TS]

  boulder colorado all the girls have a [TS]

  other all the girls have long braids and [TS]

  who now have Old Testament names [TS]

  yes and they are making roast beef [TS]

  sandwiches those lower that sandwich is [TS]

  you have really mixed feelings [TS]

  there's there's a certain thing I [TS]

  haven't thought about this in years but [TS]

  but like you know you discover like a [TS]

  girl's been kidnapped her boy has been [TS]

  kidnapped and kept in a hole like down [TS]

  underground always had mixed feelings [TS]

  you have mixed feelings about that [TS]

  yeah because on the way your feelings [TS]

  are positive and some of them are [TS]

  located get let me finish [TS]

  yes ok it's not a good idea to [TS]

  Connecticut and keep underground [TS]

  underground let's just take that is red [TS]

  but there's something about seeing a [TS]

  cross-section of an underground living [TS]

  space [TS]

  it was part of it was that I love [TS]

  cross-sections but also the idea of [TS]

  having a place where you could go and [TS]

  nobody could find you if you want [TS]

  well yeah that was very appealing and [TS]

  one way out in every one of those [TS]

  stories there's always someone else [TS]

  living in the house with the bad man who [TS]

  purports to and believably purports to [TS]

  not have realized that there were people [TS]

  living in a in a hole under there [TS]

  that's always so strange or like you [TS]

  know even even Gacy they found like over [TS]

  20 bodies on his property and we didn't [TS]

  ever seem weird how few young handyman [TS]

  came back out of the house that never [TS]

  seemed strange well or just that I mean [TS]

  that the i don't i don't know if you [TS]

  remember the description but like one of [TS]

  the searchers went down into the [TS]

  basement and this is a terrible terrible [TS]

  description but like step older older [TS]

  thing [TS]

  well that's only found they found it [TS]

  because neighbors were like what is that [TS]

  smell [TS]

  yeah the owner was overpowering but he [TS]

  stepped onto the dirt floor of the [TS]

  basement and sank up to his waist my god [TS]

  because the dirt and decaying bodies and [TS]

  lie had just become a kind of liquefied [TS]

  there's no ventilation and it was just a [TS]

  liquefied certain okay that's that's not [TS]

  idea [TS]

  no I was someplace dry with no syncing [TS]

  up to my waist and bodies now taken [TS]

  animal Astraea kidnapped his own [TS]

  daughter and father two children with [TS]

  their record with her in the hole [TS]

  her mother was living in the house and [TS]

  never heard never was like other rats in [TS]

  the walls like there's never a [TS]

  scratching yeah i mean i can hear my [TS]

  freaking neighbors karaoke so I can hear [TS]

  their i continue the intake of their [TS]

  breath and obviously of course they're [TS]

  using Hampton application kind of songs [TS]

  do they say they're all in Vietnamese [TS]

  hey I have no idea how to do you have [TS]

  vietnamese karaoke that you can hear in [TS]

  your house my next-door neighbors who [TS]

  are Vietnamese Catholics have a home [TS]

  karaoke system that I my only my only [TS]

  suspicions are my only guess is [TS]

  that they used to own a restaurant and [TS]

  when the restaurant closed they brought [TS]

  the professional grade karaoke system [TS]

  home they're like what are we gonna do [TS]

  with this I don't know we have such fun [TS]

  doing karaoke let's just put it in our [TS]

  house because it is it's gotta be it's [TS]

  gotta be six thousand watts and they [TS]

  they sometimes have small parties but a [TS]

  lot of times it's just mom dad and their [TS]

  son like the way you would play [TS]

  Parcheesi or nintendo wii they just sit [TS]

  around and sing loud Vietnamese karaoke [TS]

  songs do karaoke so I know now if you've [TS]

  ever listened to the enemy's pop music [TS]

  or your Chinese pop music there are [TS]

  tonality these easy easy part totalities [TS]

  that are on that are foreign to my [TS]

  musical here right there are principles [TS]

  that they use yeah that are there's a [TS]

  certain soaring so nervous quality to [TS]

  the high notes that is paint peeling [TS]

  well and at least to my to my like [TS]

  musical ear sometime mean when it's done [TS]

  when it's done expertly I like I hear [TS]

  the back here the beauty of it I [TS]

  understand kind of the I understand what [TS]

  the music intends i think but you know [TS]

  it's a it's a length of musical language [TS]

  that's that's foreign to me and so I'm [TS]

  always listening to it kind of has an [TS]

  outsider curious that I don't think this [TS]

  is super complicated is a place in my [TS]

  neighborhood where I go I can pay my PT [TS]

  belt at this at this place around the [TS]

  corner with a butcher pigs and lots of [TS]

  vegetables and it's real and the guys [TS]

  always got super loud Chinese pop music [TS]

  playing and my daughter loves it i love [TS]

  it but what I really love is that I get [TS]

  to leave [TS]

  uh-huh i really enjoy i really enjoy [TS]

  hearing aim a cantonese version i want [TS]

  to hold your hand really loud for a [TS]

  couple minutes then get out [TS]

  yeah but the beauty of that music is [TS]

  that you can get away from it i cannot [TS]

  imagine being in my home and having to [TS]

  hear that well do you ever hear it did [TS]

  your i'm sure in San Francisco you have [TS]

  opportunity to hear that with their here [TS]

  this instrument we hear he's got the [TS]

  little fiddle thing that people in the [TS]

  subways the two string to string violin [TS]

  banter these very beautiful for a minute [TS]

  yeah but it's very it's very Reedy and [TS]

  and loud and I mean I can only imagine [TS]

  what what like if you're playing it for [TS]

  someone that you love [TS]

  well but like when they're played [TS]

  fantastically yes like it's an it's an [TS]

  amazing instrument like any instrument [TS]

  although still a pretty reed instrument [TS]

  not a warm something hits a frequency [TS]

  that even with my bad ears is a little [TS]

  alley but here's the thing about karaoke [TS]

  now if something if i'm sitting at a bar [TS]

  and someone is doing a pretty bad out of [TS]

  tune man i feel like a woman but right [TS]

  or or uh or like a rock for or whatever [TS]

  you are familiar with the song so I know [TS]

  where they are going to strength i'm [TS]

  familiar with I'm familiar with the tone [TS]

  of the original so I know where the [TS]

  singer is failing to failing to achieve [TS]

  that tone and I can listen to it was [TS]

  kind of grimacing but with knowledge of [TS]

  how you know how far the singer has to [TS]

  go to to cheap dinner or how far away [TS]

  the singer is from actually [TS]

  accomplishing what they think they're [TS]

  accomplishing in the case of my [TS]

  neighbors [TS]

  he is a terrible terrible terrible [TS]

  singer and yet I do not understand what [TS]

  he's going for because I don't know the [TS]

  I don't know the source material so i [TS]

  sit and i listen and I say there is no [TS]

  musical language in the in the universe [TS]

  where the know she's singing and the [TS]

  note of the backing track belong [TS]

  together it would have it is it is a it [TS]

  is a it mathematically somebody from [TS]

  another planet could look at it on a [TS]

  piece of paper and say that is wrong [TS]

  like they should knit those two notes [TS]

  shouldn't should cannot coexist her so i [TS]

  know that i know it does i know it is [TS]

  not a question of me not understanding [TS]

  the musical language i know that it is a [TS]

  question of here and here and he has you [TS]

  know he has the wrong kind of vibrato is [TS]

  just it just be flat he's just so flat [TS]

  and so dead voiced just like dead how's [TS]

  the rest of his family and he's not the [TS]

  only one right well the thing is that [TS]

  what my impression of what the after how [TS]

  the afternoon goes is that their son who [TS]

  is kind of wearing one of those radar [TS]

  o'reilly caps on sideways helmet liner [TS]

  and has like 0 and has like a wet like a [TS]

  white tracksuit and is just sitting and [TS]

  playing his he's playing his gameboy or [TS]

  whatever the Sun doesn't leave this is [TS]

  what's amazing the Sun doesn't say like [TS]

  because he is the son drives one of [TS]

  those subaru WRX is with a big wing on [TS]

  the back and have air scoop on the front [TS]

  and expensive rims like the kid is the [TS]

  kid is part of a of a outside culture [TS]

  where he should if it's a big fee if I [TS]

  were he i would be at whatever [TS]

  discotheque it is that you know where [TS]

  there are girls right but he is sitting [TS]

  in the living room with his folks this [TS]

  is a thing they do together [TS]

  I never get the sense he seems he just [TS]

  sits there while mom and dad trade-off [TS]

  songs which I imagine they're singing [TS]

  two to one another and there and then [TS]

  the window he sees a teenager like our [TS]

  early times 25 okay so everybody's doing [TS]

  a community like a family thing by being [TS]

  there I think he might be the one that [TS]

  knows how to turn the machines on or [TS]

  something but you know it's gonna turn [TS]

  it out there are only 10 feet from each [TS]

  other like they could be whispering [TS]

  these songs to one another but instead [TS]

  they are using a bear using a larger PA [TS]

  than any band I've ever been in his own [TS]

  and you know but they're not in a [TS]

  soundproof basement they are in their [TS]

  living room in the middle of their house [TS]

  in the middle of a neighborhood [TS]

  like you could hear this music like i [TS]

  imagine i imagine all the raccoons in [TS]

  the neighborhood all like take this [TS]

  opportunity to go raid the trash in a [TS]

  different neighborhood because it's just [TS]

  sonically so I mean even raccoons no it [TS]

  was two notes into the background I want [TS]

  to try and play two much here but in [TS]

  terms of background is this the same [TS]

  person where you've had some words about [TS]

  that tree being a on the property line [TS]

  you have some words with swivel with a [TS]

  person next door about a tree and some [TS]

  roots and the fruits thereof and so [TS]

  forth [TS]

  well it's not what I never had so much [TS]

  fruit tree or something that you're [TS]

  arguing with them about well I was it [TS]

  was never an argument there [TS]

  what happened was one middle of a police [TS]

  action when this house where there was a [TS]

  police action in this house went up for [TS]

  sale [TS]

  most recently it was it was occupied by [TS]

  a family of tooth out East African [TS]

  Muslims who would in that same in the [TS]

  same room that they're now doing karaoke [TS]

  Vietnamese family is now doing karaoke [TS]

  the East Africans would sit in that room [TS]

  with all the windows open and listen to [TS]

  what sounded like a like a shortwave [TS]

  radio broadcast of an extremely fiery [TS]

  sermon that sounded it sounded like they [TS]

  were receiving it on a on a crystal SAS [TS]

  gutsy well it was gutsy and it was also [TS]

  a little scary like there were there [TS]

  were a couple of guys and and a [TS]

  multitude of mothers and then a lot of [TS]

  kids there seem to be more mothers than [TS]

  they're worth [TS]

  fathers of oh if you're looking at the [TS]

  compound John if you're looking at a at [TS]

  that I know and one-to-one ratio [TS]

  although i think the father's there were [TS]

  these were the father's that were just [TS]

  multiple multiple multiple wives and [TS]

  they would they would sit and listen to [TS]

  these sermons that were obviously [TS]

  tape-recorded and I think the original [TS]

  recording was made in a bunker somewhere [TS]

  it was a it was very it was it was it [TS]

  was very cultural and I did have an [TS]

  encounter with them [TS]

  that wasn't a hundred percent positive [TS]

  that that was effectively like no no no [TS]

  infidels on are no infidels shall cross [TS]

  our property line type of confrontation [TS]

  but when the house went for sale and [TS]

  that family moved out there is a fruit [TS]

  tree that object object to on their [TS]

  property object to this fruit tree it is [TS]

  a it is a garbage tree and anyone with [TS]

  any responsibility would have taken this [TS]

  tree out a long time ago and so the [TS]

  house was empty and I went over there [TS]

  and I stood in their yard and I stared [TS]

  at this fruit tree and I said I've had [TS]

  enough and so the following morning at [TS]

  the crack of dawn but most inconspicuous [TS]

  time to run a chainsaw [TS]

  I snuck over into their yard with my [TS]

  trade chainsaw and I cut down the tree [TS]

  in their yard in their yard [TS]

  wow that's that's that's quite an act of [TS]

  aggression job because it well the house [TS]

  is empty and whoever it is that owns the [TS]

  house ok does not live in the house [TS]

  right [TS]

  the owner now and there's a for sale [TS]

  sign in the corner it's not for rent [TS]

  anymore so the owner is divesting [TS]

  himself of this property he hasn't been [TS]

  there in years he should cut this tree [TS]

  down years ago the new owners you know [TS]

  I'm thinking this through as I'm [TS]

  standing in their yard hands jammed in [TS]

  my pockets staring at this tree the new [TS]

  owners are gonna move in there not going [TS]

  to do anything about the tree [TS]

  they're going to assume that the trees [TS]

  always been there that's a typical you [TS]

  know you move into your house that you [TS]

  don't [TS]

  normal people don't start cutting down [TS]

  trees the day they move in and I said [TS]

  nobody's gonna miss this tree there's [TS]

  only one person who can deal with this [TS]

  tree and it's me and so I went over and [TS]

  I chain saw down this tree and i took [TS]

  the i took the tree around into my yard [TS]

  and I threw it in my swimming pool [TS]

  well the the the the the great error i [TS]

  made was that there was a second tree [TS]

  that I also should have cut down and [TS]

  after I cut down the the most offensive [TS]

  tree then my brooding attention just [TS]

  just who was it was only sated for about [TS]

  a day and a half before i realized that [TS]

  i should have cut down the other tree [TS]

  and then the house sold and people were [TS]

  hustling and bustling once the house [TS]

  sold [TS]

  I no longer felt comfortable you know in [TS]

  that period where the house was for sale [TS]

  I felt like I'm cutting down this tree [TS]

  it's not going to it's it all it's going [TS]

  to do is increase the value of the house [TS]

  the house is in limbo I'm not taking [TS]

  anybody's tree i'm just taking a tree [TS]

  from a guy who doesn't want it and the [TS]

  next people aren't even going to know it [TS]

  was there but once the house is sold [TS]

  I felt like okay those new people have [TS]

  bought a house that has this tree the [TS]

  second tree for me to cut down that tree [TS]

  now would be to actually be cutting down [TS]

  a tree that belongs to finish the job [TS]

  when you had a chance to show your silly [TS]

  country i was in country with a running [TS]

  chainsaw my neighbors were all you know [TS]

  i i've been in there for 10 minutes so [TS]

  they were already used to that had 10 [TS]

  minutes chainsaw to get used to another [TS]

  10 minutes wouldn't have bugged them i [TS]

  should have taken on that second tree [TS]

  and now that secondary haunts my dreams [TS]

  but but in any case the that the fact [TS]

  you know the fact that might be it [TS]

  enemies neighbors can be making what is [TS]

  by any estimation [TS]

  music that is a crime against humanity [TS]

  and I can hear i can hear that i can [TS]

  hear them breathing through their noses [TS]

  into those microphones through you know [TS]

  through three double walls and and and [TS]

  20 feet across the yard and yet the [TS]

  mother of that austrian girl couldn't [TS]

  hear her own daughter in her own home [TS]

  I i totally agree i totally agree and [TS]

  you know what though I mean the human [TS]

  mind is such an interesting thing where [TS]

  it's that old thing I don't think of an [TS]

  elephant or try and try and try not to [TS]

  think about your tongue while you're [TS]

  eating also just thought of an elephant [TS]

  we believe that this because no such [TS]

  thing as not thinking of an elephant [TS]

  right it's that and and once you start [TS]

  noticing something it becomes very [TS]

  difficult to unnoticed it now the thing [TS]

  is a sotry Assad I mean the brass tacks [TS]

  have you thought about talking to your [TS]

  neighbors about this is that i don't [TS]

  that's kind of done in your neighborhood [TS]

  is if you're kind of lazy fair kind of [TS]

  neighborhood it's a little bit of you [TS]

  know it's a little bit of 5440 or fight [TS]

  up here but I think so [TS]

  so we get along with one another in a [TS]

  sort of like wave over the fence kinda [TS]

  way it and there's a little bit of a [TS]

  picture battle situation where it's like [TS]

  of the issues that I have with the next [TS]

  door neighbors do I want to a address [TS]

  the volume of their karaoke machine or [TS]

  be suggest that they let me cut down one [TS]

  of their trees [TS]

  what is that what is the what's my next [TS]

  move with them it's such an adult thing [TS]

  John I used to I used to feel like every [TS]

  slide you know I feel like somebody up [TS]

  in a robot cartoon like slapping people [TS]

  in demanding you know duels I used to [TS]

  think that every slight had to be [TS]

  answered and then until I was like a [TS]

  petulant child where everything had and [TS]

  today I process everything according to [TS]

  that stack that you're describing where [TS]

  I'm like I know I these people might be [TS]

  crazy i should wait until there's [TS]

  something that's actually dangerous to [TS]

  both of us right up to bring it up with [TS]

  them well and and and there is a little [TS]

  bit of the Alaskan sort of the sanctity [TS]

  of one's own home philosophy that I that [TS]

  like they're the enjoyment that they are [TS]

  deriving from owner [TS]

  their own home is bleeding over their [TS]

  property line and it is causing side is [TS]

  called causing me mild discomfort on [TS]

  alternate Saturdays in the afternoon [TS]

  when they have their karaoke parties I [TS]

  mean they're not doing it every night [TS]

  oh that's good yeah it's just it's just [TS]

  alternate Saturdays it's like you can [TS]

  hear that you can use Saturday such a [TS]

  nice day to just be around the house and [TS]

  that's the father that's the thing you [TS]

  just want to lay out in your backyard [TS]

  but the thing is Saturdays for them are [TS]

  obviously a day they look forward to [TS]

  where dad and mom are gonna serenade [TS]

  each other with the you know with the [TS]

  sound of playing mario kart will check [TS]

  playing mario kart mom and dad are gonna [TS]

  like our it going to imitate the sound [TS]

  of throwing like a fully-grown hogs into [TS]

  a woodchipper for whatever it is [TS]

  occurring cats and other cats [TS]

  however they would describe the sound of [TS]

  the music making and so like so this is [TS]

  one of the challenges that I have as a [TS]

  fully grown person like at what point [TS]

  does my does does my interests my naked [TS]

  self-interest become you know become [TS]

  something that I need to privilege over [TS]

  someone else having like the empathy [TS]

  that i have for someone else having [TS]

  innocent fun in their own home right and [TS]

  and it's you know every musician has to [TS]

  learn at some point or another every [TS]

  rock musician has to learn that louder [TS]

  isn't better but that is a process that [TS]

  a lot of musicians I guess never learn a [TS]

  lot of people don't understand that like [TS]

  louder isn't better 444 most people at [TS]

  some point in their in there are like [TS]

  the louder it is the better it sounds [TS]

  and that's what they have going on over [TS]

  there they have reverb on their voice [TS]

  and they obviously speed and I don't the [TS]

  thing is one of my problems i don't [TS]

  understand karaoke at all i don't [TS]

  understand people singing like a rock i [TS]

  understand the wreck of the edmund [TS]

  fitzgerald [TS]

  in a bar because it just seems like [TS]

  that's a busman's holiday for you [TS]

  well for me it is but also like I don't [TS]

  I because i don't have a Tim here I [TS]

  don't understand what it's like to have [TS]

  a 10-year right well there's so many [TS]

  things that are weird about it because [TS]

  the thing is we karaoke the weird thing [TS]

  about karaoke if you really think about [TS]

  it and let's be honest it's a little [TS]

  like bowling [TS]

  most of the people who do it are super [TS]

  serious about it and then most other [TS]

  people do it once every couple years but [TS]

  mainly what you're doing is sitting [TS]

  around acting like you're enjoying [TS]

  listening to other people sing karaoke [TS]

  while you wait for your turn while you [TS]

  wait for you politely wait for your turn [TS]

  you applaud and it's all kind of like [TS]

  weird it is not like we're culture [TS]

  around karaoke like you got to make sure [TS]

  you don't do somebody else's signature [TS]

  song is visiting saying I'd only [TS]

  imagined I stay so far away from karaoke [TS]

  ik it is like kryptonite to me and about [TS]

  but like I understand that is what car [TS]

  stereos are for right you put your [TS]

  favorite song in the car stereo you sing [TS]

  at the top of your lungs you're driving [TS]

  down the street [TS]

  drawings that could be all right all the [TS]

  Edmund Fitzgerald and it said net [TS]

  against back a dead play the drums up a [TS]

  steering wheel like yes you are in your [TS]

  bubble and you are having a blast and [TS]

  that is that's like you in the tennis [TS]

  racket back in junior high and and and [TS]

  that that is a perfect example of like [TS]

  the tennis racket and ZZ Top's [TS]

  eliminator or two things put on got put [TS]

  on God's earth by God for one reason [TS]

  tennis rackets are not for tennis they [TS]

  are forward playing the Eliminator [TS]

  record in front of the mirror when you [TS]

  are a young teenager like that is that [TS]

  that's the that's the whole of it and [TS]

  then karaoke feels like playing a tennis [TS]

  racket in front of the mirror except [TS]

  you're forcing your loved ones to be the [TS]

  mirror and the tennis racket is actually [TS]

  a 3001 amplifier as I and and and i just [TS]

  i cannot so I don't understand [TS]

  karaoke I definitely don't understand [TS]

  karaoke as it in the role it performs [TS]

  with in Asian culture or Asian cultures [TS]

  and I further do not understand my [TS]

  neighbors particular version of super [TS]

  loud how you got to where you can [TS]

  recognize particular songs there are [TS]

  some that come back you know there are [TS]

  something i hear multiple times there [TS]

  are others that you know because the [TS]

  because the the musical bed is all [TS]

  yamaha dx7 like tinkle tinkle cords that [TS]

  are just like like it's it's it's [TS]

  garbage music to begin with [TS]

  it sounds like it sounds like an [TS]

  amusement park music where where you're [TS]

  at an amusement park and all the [TS]

  characters that they're trying to [TS]

  they're that they're putting forward or [TS]

  like subpar hanna-barbera you can swap [TS]

  out a Calliope and put in a middle-aged [TS]

  Vietnamese immigrant or yeah right like [TS]

  like like that's not Tony the Tiger [TS]

  Oh what you're oh no I totally know what [TS]

  you mean you know that's later plywood [TS]

  tiger made to look like tony the tiger [TS]

  which is a breakfast cereal tiger and [TS]

  that Tiger is enticing me to go on a on [TS]

  a rollercoaster that that you are [TS]

  different from the super fake superchunk [TS]

  song you get just close enough the PTO [TS]

  that's Anthony the Puma clearly that's [TS]

  supposed to make me think of Tony the [TS]

  Tiger [TS]

  yeah except it's got the dx7 chime sound [TS]

  itself is love enough to do with it to [TS]

  do / do but so so I don't want to go [TS]

  over and intervene in there in what I [TS]

  can only imagine and I mean this is a [TS]

  little bit maybe this is too much [TS]

  extrapolation but like this guy my [TS]

  next-door neighbor definitely is is from [TS]

  Vietnam and is older than me [TS]

  meaning that he survived the war right [TS]

  he had who knows what his what his life [TS]

  was like during the war he was probably [TS]

  not i don't think he's old enough to [TS]

  have been a soldier but he's certainly [TS]

  old enough to have I don't think there [TS]

  was a single person in Vietnam that [TS]

  didn't have to confront that war [TS]

  right up front you know nobody was no [TS]

  it's not like there were suburbs where [TS]

  you were safe from the war and so [TS]

  whatever his life experiences he is [TS]

  English still isn't very good so it's [TS]

  not like I go over and sit in his living [TS]

  room and we talked about up you know our [TS]

  shared experience and I just feel like [TS]

  there's so much about what he what they [TS]

  are doing over there that I don't [TS]

  understand that the work that i am [TS]

  trying to do on it is not the work of [TS]

  confrontation but it is rather the work [TS]

  of sitting in my own home and trying to [TS]

  learn to appreciate what they are doing [TS]

  what are realizing that if there's [TS]

  enough of a pattern to it it's better to [TS]

  just maybe be out of the house [TS]

  frustrating is that might be [TS]

  yeah like Saturday afternoons is there [TS]

  time to do there to do their show and [TS]

  hopefully you know I think they also [TS]

  drink so maybe by late afternoon babe [TS]

  you know it starts to slur off and then [TS]

  like I don't know what happens maybe [TS]

  they make love [TS]

  i'm not sure but it is a prelude to but [TS]

  like I'm i don't much and this is this [TS]

  is the thing about is the thing I [TS]

  encounter all the time which is that [TS]

  other people are irritating and I cannot [TS]

  figure out if it is just that other [TS]

  people are truly irritating and [TS]

  everybody else pretends that they're not [TS]

  or whether there is something in me [TS]

  where I am just more irritated by other [TS]

  people I'd i don't think i am more [TS]

  irritated by other people i just think [TS]

  that I think that everybody else assumes [TS]

  that other people just a guy I have no [TS]

  idea honestly I have no idea how people [TS]

  work downtown and don't get into fist [TS]

  fights everyday I i totally agree and so [TS]

  you know right now the other neighbor my [TS]

  neighbor across the street is running [TS]

  some kind of losers lounge halfway house [TS]

  finish this one had the guy living in [TS]

  the RV the guys still living in the rbg [TS]

  was out he was out walking down the [TS]

  middle of the street the other day in a [TS]

  leather vest with no shirt on the letter [TS]

  best had the harley-davidson symbol [TS]

  across the back and he was walking down [TS]

  the middle of the [TS]

  the middle of the [TS]

  street in a gunslinger pose like camp [TS]

  out and he's walking he's obviously [TS]

  walking to the store to get a beer and [TS]

  in his mind she's like in a showdown [TS]

  Spurs thick chick and I think and I'm [TS]

  looking at him and I'm just like there [TS]

  are so many things that i want to say to [TS]

  you right now and I'm and I can't I like [TS]

  prioritizing what to say to the drunk [TS]

  guy living in his van behind my [TS]

  neighbors hedge like when you when you [TS]

  run down the list [TS]

  the answer is say nothing to the guy [TS]

  because the first communication I'm [TS]

  gonna have with this guy is going to be [TS]

  what I'm standing next to a cop and the [TS]

  cop is saying how long has this been [TS]

  going on and the highest said hey I say [TS]

  you know what officer the reality is all [TS]

  this all gotta go like this guy is it is [TS]

  unsafe at any speed i mean it's it's [TS]

  gonna happen one of these days this guy [TS]

  is going to set his ban on fire or [TS]

  something something over there is going [TS]

  to happen but you know the other guy [TS]

  with the mosquito tattooed on his neck [TS]

  like he's got his arm in a sling now [TS]

  somehow and and the the guy with the [TS]

  best and I'm just like okay what's my [TS]

  problem with them [TS]

  where do I start night and I'm you know [TS]

  like I love live [TS]

  I love living in my neighborhood and I [TS]

  think what i am trying to learn is a is [TS]

  a is a little bit of acceptance I'm [TS]

  learning a little bit of like this is my [TS]

  neighborhood and this is what happens in [TS]

  and if I what if I was living north of [TS]

  the ship canal if I had paid three times [TS]

  more than I paid for my house then the [TS]

  neighbor next door of my neighbors [TS]

  around me would probably be even more [TS]

  entitled and they would be out in the [TS]

  backyard playing yoga music [TS]

  me and they would have have qualms with [TS]

  you that they would bring up with the [TS]

  homeowners association about how you use [TS]

  the wrong shade of white on your mailbox [TS]

  or somebody or something worse [TS]

  yeah you know it's so funny i feel have [TS]

  evolved a lot with this stuff there's [TS]

  still stuff that bugs me and I try not [TS]

  to be noisome to other people but just I [TS]

  don't know and there's still some kinds [TS]

  of things were like there's something [TS]

  about the basic and possibility of the [TS]

  situation that makes it worse look in [TS]

  your case it's like they're not bad [TS]

  people you don't wanna go over there and [TS]

  like read them the riot act and be that [TS]

  guy who's always complaining i think [TS]

  they're super nice there's no note [TS]

  they're not broadcasting any sermons [TS]

  nobody's parking their car on the lawn [TS]

  I don't like if you're going to have [TS]

  somebody making a lot of noise how nice [TS]

  is it that it's like it's a family of [TS]

  homeowners like singing together that's [TS]

  kind of nice [TS]

  it's kind of a neat but you get [TS]

  something like the barking dog situation [TS]

  and there's so few ways to handle that [TS]

  in a way that isn't from the get-go [TS]

  confrontational because by the time you [TS]

  say like okay I'm gonna be a patient [TS]

  person even though this dog is literally [TS]

  barking all day long making me into an [TS]

  insane person i'm not going to complain [TS]

  about it but then by the time you very [TS]

  first like an approach the topic you're [TS]

  already so loaded for bear [TS]

  yeah and they're like well you know what [TS]

  do you want me to do about it i have a [TS]

  dog barks deal right right that seems to [TS]

  be the attitude [TS]

  whereas somebody like me who's on the [TS]

  other end of the barking dog situation [TS]

  is kind of like well you know I thing is [TS]

  i noticed this and I've got a lot of [TS]

  other people do too [TS]

  nobody wants to be a dick and call the [TS]

  police and they say nobody else has [TS]

  complained get this a lot i get this a [TS]

  lot [TS]

  nobody else has complained oh it's you [TS]

  love dogs [TS]

  people love their dogs harf harf up our [TS]

  five-part yesterday some somebody here [TS]

  in the neighborhood I don't know who [TS]

  either had their either had their nice [TS]

  over visiting or it might be the family [TS]

  on the far corner that has a lot of kids [TS]

  but whatever it was I was sitting in my [TS]

  bathtub as you do in the afternoon [TS]

  on Sunday and some little girl that I [TS]

  estimate was between the ages of five [TS]

  and seven had discovered her scream oh [TS]

  yes the blood-curdling scream that every [TS]

  little girl mix it well now this is a [TS]

  question that I have for you because I [TS]

  was a little boy once [TS]

  yeah a long time ago and I knew a lot of [TS]

  little girls I had lots of little [TS]

  girlfriends some of my best friends were [TS]

  little girls who and i do not remember [TS]

  in the nineteen seventies little girls [TS]

  entertaining themselves with a [TS]

  blood-curdling scream shrieking is a [TS]

  thing you see it sometimes will go to [TS]

  the playground you know you think you [TS]

  got problems the kids I go home my kids [TS]

  such a pain it's so hard to get her to [TS]

  put her socks on and then we go to the [TS]

  playground and there's like a child [TS]

  that's like a Hellion and yes there are [TS]

  little girls who would just stand on top [TS]

  of the the slide and shriek an hour and [TS]

  that's the thing [TS]

  well so that was not it didn't used to [TS]

  be a thing it's it is a cultural thing [TS]

  that vaccinations causes probably fact [TS]

  the nation's exactly right it's you know [TS]

  what it is it's all the estrogen or [TS]

  drinking water [TS]

  chemtrails head but somewhere along the [TS]

  line little girls have been have taught [TS]

  one another and i think it is something [TS]

  that they learn from one another but [TS]

  they are they are i don't think it's [TS]

  something that they are being encouraged [TS]

  to do what it is it's something they are [TS]

  not being discouraged from doing and [TS]

  it's the thing is it's important [TS]

  understand that it's it's different from [TS]

  somebody yelling really loud which is [TS]

  annoying but it's a certain kind of [TS]

  thumb like horror movie shriek little [TS]

  girls [TS]

  yes yes and then they start doing it [TS]

  together and kind of a each other on and [TS]

  they look for reasons to have to shriek [TS]

  yeah yeah and so somebody you know [TS]

  somebody kicks the ball at them and [TS]

  instead of kicking the ball back they [TS]

  shriek and then someone you know and [TS]

  then a bird flies over and instead of [TS]

  going like oh my god baby shriek and so [TS]

  this little girl i'm i'm in the bathtub [TS]

  so I can't see her but she's on my block [TS]

  somewhere on the block and she for an [TS]

  hour just takes in breath and then [TS]

  shrieks as if she's being murdered and [TS]

  then takes in breath and shrieks as if [TS]

  she's been murdered and the end the [TS]

  streak is long and each one gets more [TS]

  and more evocative but cannot stop that [TS]

  I am i that happened once i would be [TS]

  like don't ever do that again [TS]

  what will write and i hit the thing is i [TS]

  hear there are other children out there [TS]

  playing with her and I hear there are [TS]

  adults i hear a father's voice I hear [TS]

  people speaking to each other i hear [TS]

  people speaking to her but something so [TS]

  i can only picture and I don't have no [TS]

  point do I get out of the bathtub [TS]

  because again it's one of these things [TS]

  like all right it's sunday afternoon [TS]

  there's a family in my neighborhood [TS]

  that's out either in their yard or in [TS]

  the street having a they're playing ball [TS]

  or they're having a family activity and [TS]

  one of their little children has [TS]

  discovered her scream and she is really [TS]

  practicing it and no one in the family [TS]

  says okay [TS]

  Esmeralda that's enough not not another [TS]

  one and then she shrieks again and they [TS]

  go you know what [TS]

  not one more or or were done and she [TS]

  does it again and then they say okay [TS]

  that we're done and they take her inside [TS]

  and then they sit her down on a chair [TS]

  and they have a conversation with her [TS]

  when they say that shrieking is not good [TS]

  it's not it's not an appropriate way to [TS]

  express yourself if you are feeling [TS]

  emotional then let's let's talk about an [TS]

  appropriate way to express your emotions [TS]

  if you are having fun there are ways to [TS]

  express having fun [TS]

  register though it doesn't seem to even [TS]

  a must register but like it its it's so [TS]

  far beyond anything I'm so white i am so [TS]

  white John like to me shrieking thing is [TS]

  not a thing that we should be doing [TS]

  it's not even like going to be a [TS]

  discussion points not an inside-outside [TS]

  voices just you don't just read know [TS]

  you're never sorry but you're not going [TS]

  to do that it's not gonna be a thing [TS]

  that we use week if you are being [TS]

  murdered it's the one time that that [TS]

  sounds appropriate right [TS]

  you need to give you need to communicate [TS]

  across a mountain valley that you are [TS]

  being murdered [TS]

  yes and that's the only war or if you [TS]

  are being attacked by a bear which is a [TS]

  form of being murdered [TS]

  it's true in every instance that i can [TS]

  think that is an appropriate sound the [TS]

  end result is murder [TS]

  it's unnerving though it's really [TS]

  unnerving and and so you know you think [TS]

  I i think i find myself thinking because [TS]

  then now i go to think hole and start [TS]

  playing wait a minute this not bothering [TS]

  them is this potentially like a relief [TS]

  for them that they get to be outside now [TS]

  instead of having an echo around in [TS]

  their small living room like know how or [TS]

  are there people that are saying well I [TS]

  don't want to that I think this is a [TS]

  this is a thing that that happens in [TS]

  parents you know the lingo assertive [TS]

  about the shriek or I don't want to [TS]

  inhibit hmm [TS]

  he'll grow out of it this is just a [TS]

  phase and it's important for her to [TS]

  selling fake murdered [TS]

  it's important for her that she make the [TS]

  worst sound that a human can make over [TS]

  and over and over and over again in a in [TS]

  the public sphere and i'm sitting in the [TS]

  bathtub and I like here is again another [TS]

  instance where i feel like if i had a [TS]

  megaphone I would be in more trouble [TS]

  than I am not having a megaphone because [TS]

  if i had a megaphone i might get out of [TS]

  the bathtub put it out the window and [TS]

  say stop your child from streaming with [TS]

  the robot voice starting your child [TS]

  friends screaming but not going out here [TS]

  20 seconds to comply I don't want to [TS]

  like open my bathroom window and stand [TS]

  there Steven John with the team coming [TS]

  off of me going to stop at God for the [TS]

  love of fucking God's stop screaming [TS]

  it's not but you know but what it is [TS]

  it's just like the thing with the dog it [TS]

  immediately becomes a thing where you [TS]

  are talking to the other parent [TS]

  well you're human you're a grown-ass man [TS]

  and now you seem like the crazy one [TS]

  yeah right left oh my gosh suddenly this [TS]

  is a big problem know it's been a [TS]

  problem for years and years and years [TS]

  and I finally just have one day where I [TS]

  couldn't take it anymore [TS]

  oh you don't like little girls having [TS]

  fun oh you little you can't stand if [TS]

  your father you and it's like I like the [TS]

  sound of little girls having fun that [TS]

  is not the sound of someone having fun [TS]

  that is the sound of someone [TS]

  cops is especially if they're in the [TS]

  pool with this cabinet she is a fact [TS]

  that she is fully conscious that she has [TS]

  no she has she has arrived upon a power [TS]

  that she has to basically rule everyone [TS]

  right it's it is it the child becomes [TS]

  aware that they have a new power that no [TS]

  one else can do no adult can make that [TS]

  sound and it would be so nervous you [TS]

  know you don't even adult made that [TS]

  sound you would be like oh fuck this [TS]

  person is possessed by like a like the [TS]

  sound an adult would make just before [TS]

  their skin split from head to toe and [TS]

  the giant pterodactyl that lived inside [TS]

  them was freed [TS]

  it's a pterodactyl sound yes huh / but [TS]

  the child realizes like I am now not [TS]

  only in control of everyone that I can [TS]

  see but I'm in control the entire block [TS]

  like no one can think because of this [TS]

  sound that I've learned to make and I [TS]

  don't know again it's a thing maybe the [TS]

  that I should be thinking about ways to [TS]

  harness it if you got it [TS]

  if you've got 40 little girls in a room [TS]

  and told them all to make that sound [TS]

  what what power I see you generate from [TS]

  that what I mean you could take them to [TS]

  Guantanamo and all of the all of the [TS]

  people in shackles there would start [TS]

  spilling the beans whatever beans they [TS]

  had left to spill if you could take that [TS]

  sound and weaponize it who and turn like [TS]

  recorded in high fidelity and then [TS]

  broadcast it on battlefields like [TS]

  instead of playing ride of the Valkyries [TS]

  as your as your troops move into a [TS]

  situation you just you just play highly [TS]

  amplified Vietnamese karaoke and the [TS]

  little girls screaming at the top of [TS]

  their lungs you armies would three [TS]

  before you ever who would go into battle [TS]

  if the sound of the opposing army was [TS]

  that like [TS]

  unholy cocktail of noise [TS]

  uh yeah got that you throw your gun down [TS]

  and count they could shatter glass and [TS]

  advances going into the slurry like Ella [TS]

  Fitzgerald [TS]

  mhm maxell boy is hard [TS]

  [Music] [TS]