Ep. 103: "Artisanal Pork Bakery"

0:00:00although I John I'm Merlin is going good

0:00:11it's early

0:00:13yeah it is early you're being a a team

0:00:15player today you're being a little bit

0:00:17of a team player you always a team

0:00:19player but today you really stepped up

0:00:21to the mic plate and I stepped up to the

0:00:23mic plate

0:00:24you really got your game face on and are

0:00:28willing to put some points on that board

0:00:30uh-huh I'm racking up the points on the

0:00:33mic plate board whoever racks up more

0:00:35points on the mic plate board is going

0:00:38to be the team that wins this particular

0:00:40game of ball that's exactly right that

0:00:42is you know we are in the seed wherein

0:00:46the seeds own we're totally in the

0:00:49bracket sounds like some kind of a porno

0:00:52I guess a sperm whale the seeds own ya

0:00:55SE were all that a sperm whale started

0:00:57thinking that maybe a fluffer have to a

0:00:59few number isn't that a nice term

0:01:01fluffer would have to be in the seeds

0:01:03own any flooding is really a thing

0:01:05times have changed too i think back in

0:01:09the old days

0:01:10fluffing was absolutely a thing but

0:01:12nowadays all about pharmaceuticals

0:01:15well the thing is nowadays there's a

0:01:17whole group of people probably

0:01:18absolutely a whole group of people that

0:01:22what they're really into is the is the

0:01:24fluffer girl or a boy yes you know like

0:01:28in the old days it was like oh you're

0:01:30not you're not ready to you're not ready

0:01:31for prime time you're just a your

0:01:33fluffer level but now it's great you

0:01:37saying they could get their own

0:01:38following like I said the cameras

0:01:40rolling there's no there's no

0:01:42distinction between stars fluffer now

0:01:44you know in the can in the contemporary

0:01:45s80 analogy question I think like the

0:01:49journalist is to the bloggers as the

0:01:50porn star is to the fluffer i think you

0:01:53could probably get a hell of a following

0:01:54today you absolutely you have a whole

0:01:56like you know you have your own fluffer

0:01:58channel network and and beat you with it

0:02:01but the thing is you wouldn't even you

0:02:03wouldn't even say like oh I was a

0:02:04fluffer i am a flipper just be like no

0:02:06this is this is me I'm

0:02:08you know like I have a little bit of a

0:02:10mustache and this is my channel haha and

0:02:14people are like I love it I sign up for

0:02:17that I could definitely see a reality

0:02:19show

0:02:21um let's see maybe called fluffy you and

0:02:24you it would be a show about a really as

0:02:27university that they go to learn out of

0:02:29no well could be sure to let you

0:02:31continue this guy for now I think it

0:02:33would be about like following along in

0:02:35like-for-like a lifetime kind of thing

0:02:37that lifetime am you know like a project

0:02:39runway cut type thing or like Rachel's

0:02:42Oh like you follow around like not that

0:02:44she's a fluffer but you follow around

0:02:45one of the up-and-comers if you like

0:02:48uh-huh or even a preeminent fluffy can

0:02:50somebody who's at the top of the game

0:02:52yeah somebody that slip that does like

0:02:54the imam of fluffers

0:02:56hey wait hang on I got it write it on

0:02:58the sky called the comeback haha that's

0:03:02not somebody that's what somebody i used

0:03:04to be like the this is it one of those

0:03:08like Debra Winger the debra winger of

0:03:11fluffing that has to be a woman but

0:03:12somebody who was unquestionably the top

0:03:15fluffer in the game any sprinkles

0:03:17fluffer you think's right fluffer

0:03:20well but what I that's what I'm saying

0:03:21like I'm sure the old porn stars all had

0:03:24their all had their like understudy

0:03:27oh it's like literally you will do well

0:03:30I was like the flipper that kind of have

0:03:33to travel together shove course as you

0:03:35do

0:03:36yeah but i mean i think what happened is

0:03:37that I think that the comeback would

0:03:39probably be the result if you like of

0:03:41probably an independent documentary

0:03:43featuring tons of porn stars from the

0:03:47seventies talking about how nobody

0:03:48fluffs is it would be like that movie

0:03:51that recently came out about all the

0:03:53back sinners exactly spans except they

0:03:56were the they were the the foreground

0:03:57blisters like okay if you're gonna do a

0:04:00John Woo documentary at this point it's

0:04:02got to either be about how food is bad

0:04:03weed is great or about some kind of a

0:04:06person who we didn't know we should know

0:04:08about that now we're all crying because

0:04:10we've learned about them

0:04:11well that's the muscle shoals guys not

0:04:13the you know the motors one about the

0:04:16Motown guys write the unsung heroes of X

0:04:20in this case it's about keeping someone

0:04:22wrecked forefront of film the unsung

0:04:24heroes of porn who I mean there are so

0:04:29many ways so many documentaries you

0:04:32could make about the unsung heroes of

0:04:34porn think about all of the work that's

0:04:37gone into because you know they were

0:04:39laboring and security they were there

0:04:41the cops were kicking down the doors

0:04:43yeah just recently Los Angeles made it

0:04:46made it a law that you have to wear a

0:04:50condom now in a in a pornographic film

0:04:53filmed in the los angeles area turns out

0:04:55i think it's causing a brain drain or i

0:04:57guess a wiener drain or whatever it is i

0:04:58think that's making people want to leave

0:05:00because they feel like they can't sell

0:05:01that to people

0:05:02yeah people are like I don't want to you

0:05:03know nobody's gonna buy it

0:05:05yeah nobody's gonna buy that for one

0:05:06because that's not the fantasy i had a

0:05:09UH french language and let professor in

0:05:12college who was it

0:05:14Madison worked in a point theatre to

0:05:17clean up in booths

0:05:18yeah he said it was not an it was a kind

0:05:20of an unpleasant job i had a friend a

0:05:22named Davey who a punk-rock Davey mm and

0:05:28Davey when he supposed to change society

0:05:31lady that said society baby punk-rock

0:05:34Davey used to work in the bars in the

0:05:36clubs but little by little I think

0:05:38burned all his his all his bridges so

0:05:42that he was no longer he never was a

0:05:44bartender he was never rose above the

0:05:46level level of bar back but uh and that

0:05:50we another device already titles on the

0:05:53generally the bar back but then

0:05:58eventually Davey ended up working at the

0:05:59apple theatre which was important

0:06:01theater here in Seattle that's now been

0:06:03converted into like an artisanal pork

0:06:06bakery but at the time it was a it was

0:06:09still showing 35-millimeter film and it

0:06:16was like open all night

0:06:18I guess they closed for an hour between

0:06:20seven and eight a.m. or something like

0:06:22that and i would sometimes go and sit

0:06:25with Davey

0:06:26in the projection booth and we would do

0:06:28drugs in the point of my life to drugs

0:06:31and and watch you know he'd be like you

0:06:34did it was they were full-length pornos

0:06:36so you would have to change a real

0:06:37halfway through you know it was like it

0:06:40was like a serious like going to the

0:06:41movies and then and then the theater

0:06:44would be full of people who were just

0:06:46looking for a place to sleep like you

0:06:48know for for the seven dollar ticket to

0:06:52to get into the movie theater you could

0:06:53you can spend the night in there so I

0:06:55one of the few places on all series

0:06:57final few places where for that amount

0:06:58of money you could be pretty much

0:06:59guaranteed nobody would touch you right

0:07:01i mean that's exactly right and the

0:07:03equivalent of like complete privacy for

0:07:05whatever an epic a big part of the big

0:07:08part of the of the appeal i think in the

0:07:10waning days of a big city porn theaters

0:07:14was just like yeah I'm just gonna for

0:07:16seven dollars i mean you couldn't get it

0:07:18you couldn't get a bed in a bit at the

0:07:22st. Vincent de Paul for seven dollars

0:07:23unless let's daddy probably well and

0:07:27nobody's going to preach to you about

0:07:29Jesus for an hour you don't have to go

0:07:31through the rigmarole you just go in and

0:07:34then just a good at his job

0:07:36no Davy was terrible at his job I I may

0:07:39have told you the story that Davey this

0:07:42was you know this sense has become a

0:07:45kind of like conventional gag because of

0:07:50the movie fight club but Davey actually

0:07:52would go and splice in like so it in the

0:07:57movie Fight Club what was it that he was

0:07:59he was splicing in porno into regular

0:08:03films but Davey would splice in car

0:08:06crash scenes and carnage scenes that jet

0:08:12right at the moment of ejaculation

0:08:16and that was a lie i believe that the

0:08:20reason that disappeared in Fight Club is

0:08:22that this was a projection estate game

0:08:24that was in some ways maybe universal

0:08:28because David was not a baby was not the

0:08:31type of guys to like necessarily dream

0:08:35this up all by himself

0:08:36there was like a postmodern project

0:08:38whereby people should notice it should

0:08:39be like unconscious clearly subliminal

0:08:42that he was right at the right at the

0:08:44moment of the like where the porn star

0:08:48was like busting is not he would he

0:08:50would put just a just an imperceptible a

0:08:54bit of like vivisection or or car crash

0:09:00or like autopsy footage and you know and

0:09:06i don't know and it because that was the

0:09:08that was the the era of up like those

0:09:12research uh magazines where I mean maybe

0:09:16they're buried with jg ballard's at the

0:09:18crash pad yeah yeah PA

0:09:20Davy had one of those bookshelves that

0:09:22was like book autopsy photos serial

0:09:25killer photos

0:09:26yeah people that laid down on train

0:09:29tracks no medical anomalies 4pm neck

0:09:32tattoos

0:09:33exactly yeah and-and-and I would go to

0:09:35his house and I I be you know it was one

0:09:37of those apartments where there was a

0:09:39there was a bookshelf made out of cinder

0:09:40blocks and then a mattress on the floor

0:09:43and thence like 600 beer cans and I

0:09:49would sit and look at his bookshelf and

0:09:51I'm like Davy seriously like I don't

0:09:53want to look at any of this stuff and

0:09:54he's like are no man you gotta check it

0:09:56out and open up some book with people

0:09:58with elephantitis and and I'm like well

0:10:02I seriously this is your ear you are

0:10:05engaging in a kind of your you're

0:10:09chasing the the punk rock dragon tail

0:10:12and it is it's not i don't believe you

0:10:16I think you're just afraid that things

0:10:18were getting a little too real up that

0:10:22is a real man that shit is real but the

0:10:25first time he showed me like the be half

0:10:29a foot of film

0:10:30of some like brutal brutal murder that

0:10:34he was splicing into these classic

0:10:36seventies porns I was like okay I I

0:10:40approve of that like you're doing

0:10:42serious psychic damage to be in the

0:10:45service of just like speed the collapse

0:10:47and I i can't i can't find fault it's

0:10:51kinda like reverse Ludovico technique

0:10:53you know from clockwork orange it's a

0:10:56museum imagine if like all the stuff we

0:10:58saw on cinemax and showtime had

0:11:00something similar done to it right i

0:11:04mean you could really could really mess

0:11:06with somebody and it would take it would

0:11:08be real sleeper cell I think maybe

0:11:09occupation wise this is maybe what I'm a

0:11:12little bit worried about the last group

0:11:13of people that need to be additionally

0:11:15fucked with psychologically are men who

0:11:19are sleeping in a porno theater that got

0:11:22me thinking enough on the flakes right

0:11:24like those are not the people that you

0:11:25want to activate and and connect their

0:11:28sexuality to violent crime like you know

0:11:31I mean like all the people ray the world

0:11:34you don't want to send out of the

0:11:35theater with the unhealthy association

0:11:38between orgasm and you know and mass

0:11:41violence don't ya

0:11:43now let's keep that one a nap the other

0:11:46one to push someone simply apply for

0:11:48exactly know those baby brought dayley

0:11:54punk-rock dating David I ran into him

0:11:56the other day I hadn't seen him in 15

0:11:58years who I ran into him and probably it

0:12:03probably in the this is even this is

0:12:06even a faux pas in punk rock circles but

0:12:09the first thing i said was well i got i

0:12:11can't believe you're alive haha anyway

0:12:16like looked all offended and chocolate

0:12:18like I have a kid I was like wow that's

0:12:21great you you made it

0:12:23you grew up he had a kid yeah and and

0:12:28then i said what he doing he's like I'm

0:12:29nothing some temp job revenant I find it

0:12:32strange to think about me because

0:12:34because I mean maybe probably the way it

0:12:37came across and probably legitimately

0:12:38you're like wow I can't believe

0:12:40punk-rock Davey didn't get killed or

0:12:43didn't die

0:12:43it is only guy and yeah exactly but like

0:12:46it's so strange to think about all the

0:12:47people you never see this is how

0:12:48self-involved I am is like I think about

0:12:50the dozens or hundreds of people that i

0:12:52have called friends over the years but

0:12:53i'm not in close contact with are not in

0:12:55contact with all I don't know their

0:12:57status

0:12:57you know it's I haven't gotten to that

0:12:59age where you like and I read the obits

0:13:00I flip through the alumni newsletter

0:13:03when it arrives and find out which

0:13:05professors have recently died that

0:13:06always makes me sad yeah but but it's

0:13:09strange to think that there's all these

0:13:10people who like it would be nice to

0:13:11think that they just got stuck on a

0:13:14shelf somewhere and stopped aging and

0:13:16and everything kind of stayed the same

0:13:17because you know we we try to imagine

0:13:19your friends today you think about the

0:13:20park AV look different than you expected

0:13:22because he should be 15 years younger in

0:13:25your head right well except that punk

0:13:27rock Davey a was punk rock so he was

0:13:30always a little bit more Haggard looking

0:13:32then then he should have been you little

0:13:35shop warn ya when he was 21 years old we

0:13:38used to joke like that 21 is like 45 in

0:13:40punk rock earrings there but in fact he

0:13:46made it through the looking glass and

0:13:48now he looks amazing for like a

0:13:50forty-four-year-old because he's you

0:13:53know he's slim he's still he's still

0:13:55pretty well groomed I mean he was he was

0:13:57smoking a cigarette in the walking down

0:14:01the street in the middle of the day and

0:14:02I was like yeah smoking a cigarette

0:14:05wow I like that that's still a that's

0:14:08still think that that people can do they

0:14:11can still be smoking cigarettes like

0:14:13that i guess it was the amazing thing

0:14:15was like when we were 21

0:14:17it was very easy for a lot of us to

0:14:22adopt a kind of like i don't care i am

0:14:25trying to kill myself who cares right

0:14:27I'm just gonna just die who cares if I

0:14:30get cancer i'm not going to live that

0:14:31long anyway that gonna happen fast like

0:14:37when you're 45 and you have a kid and

0:14:40you're still like yeah whatever out his

0:14:42keep smoking until it a brighter light

0:14:44in here I feel like I stepped on

0:14:45something that's like our house our

0:14:48house it looks like like solid 13 have

0:14:51so many bright lights because i don't

0:14:52want to step on Lego and fall down and

0:14:54hit my head I just glancing Lee hit the

0:14:56edge of the tape

0:14:56blind eye and a freak accident there it

0:14:58is that's it that's punk rock now

0:14:59whatever happened to Merlin oh yeah he

0:15:01slipped on a gummy bear fell down the

0:15:03stairs little tiny Brown Legos

0:15:06yep he had a premonition yeah he stepped

0:15:10on it got lodged under his toenail and

0:15:13then he died of an infection i do think

0:15:15about I don't talking about cause it

0:15:17freaked me out but I i do sometimes

0:15:18think we'll see things unrelated out

0:15:22first of all I don't want to die in a

0:15:23freaky way if it can be avoided

0:15:25I would rather not die in some ways it's

0:15:26super hard to explain I don't wanna die

0:15:28at all if I could avoid it but you know

0:15:29I understand it's probably you know

0:15:31somebody has to deal with eventually or

0:15:32something that's a little harder to the

0:15:34second part is a little harder to

0:15:35maintain but also i mean you know I this

0:15:37dig in and this is just a credit to my

0:15:39incredible level of self-absorption that

0:15:42I don't periodically just stop and think

0:15:44I wonder if my friends who were my age

0:15:47and high school are my age now

0:15:49oh yeah in my head they're there maybe

0:15:5130 they maybe they added a couple belt

0:15:55notches what skills and their old people

0:15:58it seems the user this like this Vulcan

0:16:01meaning that happens to men when but

0:16:04it's just like you seems probable they

0:16:07come in the the inter like sting and

0:16:08exit like burying our Conan like it

0:16:10would be and I don't understand how got

0:16:13you see them and and it's like okay you

0:16:14didn't get fat you're not fat now but

0:16:17somehow you look you look wider in every

0:16:20respect your neck is wider like cottager

0:16:22how did your skull get wider yes they

0:16:25just look they look like stretch to see

0:16:28like a pair of pair of eyes a pair of a

0:16:3119-year old pair of eyes somewhere in

0:16:33there looking out buried in a yeah and

0:16:35I'm you immediately meet mask of shit

0:16:39but well I was at the i was at the

0:16:41playground the other day and there were

0:16:42a bunch of dads and they were playing

0:16:46baseball they were teaching their sons

0:16:48to play baseball and the sun's ranged in

0:16:52age I think the youngest was probably 4

0:16:54and the whole this was maybe six or

0:16:56seven and it wasn't t-ball that the dad

0:16:59was there was there was a a beardy dad

0:17:01and he was actually pitching the ball

0:17:03and these kids were getting hits running

0:17:06the bases they were fielding like that

0:17:09this was a dedicated

0:17:10a group of dads who were like on the

0:17:13field with their kids like you know go

0:17:15let's do it you know throw to second

0:17:17throw to second I mean it wasn't like it

0:17:20wasn't nobody was like really yelling at

0:17:23the kids but they were taking baseball

0:17:25something very focused like where

0:17:27there's a game we're playing here

0:17:28there's a structure to this you must

0:17:29address this is how you you need to

0:17:30learn this game if you're going to be a

0:17:32boy in the world and so i'm watching

0:17:35this game and I'm thinking like a thank

0:17:39God I have a daughter so that I don't

0:17:41have to be so I feel no pressure to be

0:17:44down yelling at her to like round

0:17:47seconds right but also watching the dads

0:17:51I was like wait a minute

0:17:52these guys are my age like some of these

0:17:57guys are younger than me even

0:17:59and they all look old they never liked

0:18:03that guy looks exactly like Bob Balaban

0:18:05and he's totally younger than me look at

0:18:09the van last I look like the bad guy

0:18:12that guy over there like yeah he looks

0:18:15like Tony millionaire like this guy

0:18:18looks like Bukowski and these people are

0:18:21these are my peers and they're yelling

0:18:24at their kid about baseball and yeah and

0:18:27then I did I suddenly like it was one of

0:18:29those things where I looked at my

0:18:30reflection in a puddle of the guard

0:18:33escort think that you just as the just

0:18:36slightly undulating I was like wait a

0:18:39minute into the image the image that

0:18:42water stills I'm not all like that

0:18:44they're so that I didn't have to sit

0:18:49down had to sit down and take a to get

0:18:51my inhaler out so yeah terrifying saw

0:18:57definitely diggin on Portlandia he looks

0:19:00amazing but don't is really easy i like

0:19:02the way that guy carries himself and

0:19:03he's carved out of mahogany me who he is

0:19:07a suave motherfuckers just say he's very

0:19:10looks very slender and very fit and he

0:19:12just seems very focused i really admire

0:19:14it he's extremely focused and and a very

0:19:17bright

0:19:17he's very bright guy yeah and you know

0:19:21and in some ways like maybe he would be

0:19:23a great

0:19:24example of like a hollow of a of a

0:19:27fitness a mentor

0:19:30it's like okay Duff is stuff is 50 now

0:19:33and still in amazing shape and still

0:19:37like youthful in every regard like don't

0:19:41don't let yourself turn into Bukowski

0:19:45supplemented esa instead chase after the

0:19:49shooting star of definite case the Duff

0:19:51yeah yeah you remember that old anecdote

0:19:55about the two guys are going to the

0:19:56theoretical jungle on that needs

0:19:58Tigerstar's Karen asked ordem and

0:20:00theoretical tiger

0:20:01yes the theoretical tiger of the

0:20:03anecdote and now we'll get you running

0:20:05any other guys what are you doing

0:20:07you're not going out on a tiger he says

0:20:08I don't have to but I just got outrun

0:20:10you

0:20:11yeah I said that's actually in Alaska we

0:20:14say out running out on the bear huh you

0:20:17don't run the bear if you stepped on run

0:20:20you through a great gag sorry that

0:20:23over-explain oh thank you thank you for

0:20:25clarifying that

0:20:26um but I just gotta say I think that

0:20:28when you get to be like any kind of an

0:20:29agent guru or or sports person or

0:20:32anything someone they were you really

0:20:33like part of what you do requires that

0:20:35somebody look up to you i think you just

0:20:37need to look a little better than most

0:20:39other people like if you're a guru like

0:20:42if you're the thing is think about like

0:20:43cannot check later that's gonna create

0:20:45an example but like you know you don't

0:20:47have to be there are so many

0:20:48categorically handsome people in their

0:20:50twenties and thirties and I've never

0:20:52really drops off after 40

0:20:54well here's an interesting thing I

0:20:55experienced the other day I went to a

0:20:58meeting downtown and with the mayor of

0:21:02Seattle it was our my first official

0:21:04meeting with the mayor john goes to the

0:21:07mayor john goes to the bear and I'm

0:21:09there with the rest of the Seattle music

0:21:12commission so there's like 10 of us on

0:21:15one side of the table and then the mayor

0:21:18the deputy mayor the assistant deputy

0:21:20mayor the assistant deputy the deputy

0:21:25mayor

0:21:25they're all on one of the other side of

0:21:27the table and we're talking about

0:21:29striking out Seattle we're talking about

0:21:31the future of Seattle some of the

0:21:34waterfront talked about a lot of big

0:21:35projects schools cellphone and in

0:21:40anticipation of going downtown I put on

0:21:44a suit because a I collect suits even

0:21:51though i have no use for them and be

0:21:54because I don't work I spend most of the

0:21:58day just naked walking around in a

0:22:01bathrobe swinging a sword and so when I

0:22:05have a reason to consider many of

0:22:06America's unemployed but I have a reason

0:22:10to go down

0:22:12I can't bring a sword to the mayor's

0:22:13office first of all and it's like oh I'm

0:22:16going downtown I have a meeting i'm

0:22:18going to put on a suit I'm gonna like be

0:22:21a guy who gets dressed up in as close to

0:22:24go down to have an important meeting

0:22:25with everybody so I get there and the

0:22:30first thing about living in the West San

0:22:33Francisco is the same in seattle in this

0:22:35regard is that really you judge the most

0:22:39important person in the room by how

0:22:41shabbily he's dressed right like the

0:22:44millions of the billionaires in seattle

0:22:47all show up to the finest restaurants in

0:22:48town in cargo shorts and fleece check

0:22:51its it sounds like a really stupid

0:22:53cliche but in my experience it's very

0:22:56true

0:22:57yea even even like another scene like I

0:22:59couldn't pick Paul Allen out of a lineup

0:23:01but even when you see guys who like an

0:23:02adventure capital places

0:23:04sure you might seem just wearing fleece

0:23:06but you're never going to see them

0:23:07wearing like a three-piece suit that

0:23:08that looks like somebody trying to get a

0:23:10job

0:23:10yeah Paul Allen looks like a the the

0:23:13pile of clothes at the bottom of the

0:23:15locker like Paul Allen just is like a

0:23:18bit too he's just a pile wherever he

0:23:20goes and that's true of everybody like

0:23:22you going to you go into a nice

0:23:25restaurant in Seattle and the

0:23:26best-dressed people in there are the

0:23:27waiters you know right and so I'm

0:23:30sitting in this i'm sitting in this

0:23:31meeting and I've got a tie and a shirt

0:23:33and a and a and

0:23:37suit and some nice shoes and I comb my

0:23:39hair and I'm looking around and

0:23:41everybody else on the music panel uh you

0:23:46know looks like a looks like a dump

0:23:48truck ran into a hot topic haha and the

0:23:56mayor and his like people who have to

0:23:59wear suits are wearing the I have to

0:24:03wear a suit suit you know there's a kind

0:24:06of suit that there's a kind of suit that

0:24:10a public server blade is the kind of

0:24:13thing like the costume that your

0:24:14professor wears to graduation like

0:24:16represents their University you know

0:24:18talking about yeah it's pretty looking

0:24:20like Oxford thing with a funny hat

0:24:22medallion

0:24:23yeah I would never wear this unless I

0:24:24absolutely had to yeah he's got 11 gold

0:24:26stripes on one side and 14 purple

0:24:29stripes on the other receptor so what

0:24:31these suits i'm studying the suits of

0:24:34the bear and his staff and what the

0:24:35suits are meant to communicate is I am

0:24:38required to wear a suit out of respect

0:24:40for the office but I'm also a man of the

0:24:43people and so I'm not wearing a nice

0:24:46suit or a fancy suit or like a certainly

0:24:49not a chic suit i am wearing a I'm

0:24:54wearing unaffordable suit EG Telegraph

0:24:58many different messages up and down and

0:25:01sideways by what you choose to where you

0:25:04have to it's really it's really politic

0:25:06about what you wear right so let's

0:25:08simply just you want to look powerful

0:25:09you can't look too powerful exactly and

0:25:12when you see a politician or you know

0:25:14about a person in public service who was

0:25:17wearing a really nice suit like an

0:25:20expensive slick suit you automatically

0:25:22distrust that person and the ill-fitting

0:25:26cheap suit kind of is a nanite and I

0:25:30think even even when politicians get to

0:25:33be like very very powerful rich people

0:25:36who are having suits made for them they

0:25:38get them made in a kind of boxy cut with

0:25:43an unfashionable line you know I mean

0:25:46that's a shiny nobody's getting really a

0:25:49mom

0:25:49mr. right you don't want to look like a

0:25:51monster but you also don't want to look

0:25:52like yeah you don't want to look like

0:25:53you're to Hollywood

0:25:56so anyway I'm sitting in this meeting

0:25:57and I'm looking around and I'm like I am

0:26:00a fucking bar be in here I i am the I'm

0:26:05the person that everyone in the room is

0:26:07going to instinctively take less

0:26:10seriously because I got dressed up for

0:26:13this meeting and in fact got dressed up

0:26:16in the style of a person that never gets

0:26:19to wear his fancy fancy clothes so I'm

0:26:22hear him by i'm here in my suit with my

0:26:25I'm wearing it like a you know I wore a

0:26:26collar bar and I wore on time in and I

0:26:31you know I'm like I'm fucking paul f

0:26:33tompkins in here the only thing missing

0:26:35is a watch fob and I realized like oh I

0:26:39can't keep doing this because I you know

0:26:42I I want to walk up to the mirror after

0:26:44this and tell him my plan for a new

0:26:47police academy that I have that I've

0:26:50been slowly percolating in my mind and

0:26:53and they're just not going to their

0:26:56instinctively going to dismiss me as a

0:26:58as a pop or yes let's say like a

0:27:04Victorian avoid going to a fancy feet

0:27:06exactly what I'm what I'm trad

0:27:09telegraphing is that I am an amateur and

0:27:11and I look around at the rest of the the

0:27:14music Commission and everybody's like

0:27:15you know there's a guy who when he was

0:27:17buttoning a shirt he got the buttons

0:27:19wrong so it's like it

0:27:21this is one button is up above his

0:27:25collar and one is down you know and

0:27:26there and and like the gals are all

0:27:29sheep but they're all chic you know kind

0:27:31of comfortable with that answer

0:27:33that's so super tricky what kind of

0:27:35person shoes and like like it there's so

0:27:37much that people especially other women

0:27:40can read into somebody's stressed and

0:27:42what they are trying to Telegraph the

0:27:44thing is exclusively other women men

0:27:46have no like I am pretty fashion aware

0:27:50and I have their I'm capable of decoding

0:27:53at all and ninety-nine percent of the

0:27:55men in the world who are just wearing

0:27:57white athletics you like oh that that

0:28:00looks really sharp like her clothes fit

0:28:01and she looks awesome

0:28:02but I'm 11000 mark that's Marc by Marc

0:28:07Jacobs ya gonna do what I mean you're

0:28:11really wearing topshop to this event

0:28:13Wow molds or whatever game they're

0:28:16playing with each other but I mean no

0:28:17they they all look great but none of

0:28:20them are none of them are pretty what

0:28:22they are projecting is we are women in

0:28:25powerful positions in our respective our

0:28:30respective realms and so we do not have

0:28:33to wear like way better have to look

0:28:37like like Sigourney Weaver in working

0:28:39girl right the stuff has to be tailored

0:28:42enough just enough because we live in

0:28:45Seattle yeah and so so now i'm now I

0:28:48have this additional I was having a lot

0:28:50of fun the last couple of years like

0:28:54buying suits at thrift stores i would

0:28:57find these old suits and be like this

0:28:59suit is amazing i have to have it and I

0:29:02would take it and then I got a tailor

0:29:04and I was like you got a tailored suit

0:29:05because I wanted to be like this and the

0:29:07entire time conscious of course but

0:29:09there's no occasion for me to wear a

0:29:10suit

0:29:11ninety-eight percent of the time I you

0:29:15know I I mean certainly around the house

0:29:18I'm I'm just dressed like a saturday

0:29:21night live cast member in 1977 and then

0:29:25when i go out that cocaine sink a

0:29:29topknot and a cocaine sink and then when

0:29:33i go out i'm i'm generally like head to

0:29:35toe in wall because I'm never sure that

0:29:38that an electromagnetic pulse isn't

0:29:41gonna knock out all the computers that

0:29:43run our cars and smart and I'm gonna

0:29:45have to make it to the amount have to

0:29:47make it to the hill country before

0:29:49people start eating each other not gonna

0:29:52wear a fucking suit if it's got to its

0:29:55subtle what

0:29:57so what are my occasions to wear a suit

0:29:59I thought oh now I'm a big shot in the

0:30:01city government right now and now I

0:30:04can't wear suits to that either but you

0:30:05might like email look at you thinking

0:30:06hey you're probably thinking like you

0:30:08might look a little eccentric or

0:30:09artistic but that's the environment

0:30:11right it's all right isn't that but it's

0:30:13nice to come up costumey do you think

0:30:15was a

0:30:16old beyond costumey but here's the funny

0:30:18thing I've been going to these cocktail

0:30:20parties or having meetings with the

0:30:22people on the Art Commission and I

0:30:25realized the people on the Art

0:30:27Commission are all dressed like it like

0:30:30we're in a Fellini movie like the music

0:30:34Commission the music Commission just

0:30:37they grab their clothes from the free

0:30:39pile as they're leaving their apartment

0:30:41building on the way to work like Oh idea

0:30:43scarf what's in the free pile of the

0:30:46Arts Commission like dudes are seriously

0:30:48wearing a Scots models but people have

0:30:52those Italian shoes that are so pointy

0:30:55that they become like like polly achi

0:30:59shoes right i mean so really the people

0:31:02that I need to cuddle up to or the arts

0:31:05people like you know painters and and

0:31:07and the like the Opera people or

0:31:10whatever they really dress like like

0:31:13fruit cakes because it's what I not

0:31:15mention that much at stake at this means

0:31:17i'm guessing

0:31:18oh no people you know this is this has

0:31:22to be true in San Francisco to I think

0:31:24it's true all around the world but

0:31:25whatever it was 25 years ago when they

0:31:29started started instituting that one

0:31:31percent for art business it's like well

0:31:35we're going to rebuild the freeway and

0:31:38it's a 500 million dollar project and

0:31:43the legislature put this one percent for

0:31:47art clause in all public projects which

0:31:52means one percent of the total budget of

0:31:55like epic projects has to be set aside

0:32:00for there to be an art component right

0:32:02which is why there's so much

0:32:05publicly-funded massive sculpture in big

0:32:10cities like you go downtown it's like

0:32:13wow there's a huge stainless steel donut

0:32:15now in front of the city hall where did

0:32:18that come from and why it's like oh

0:32:20because we because we built a tunnel

0:32:23under the bay and it costs a billion

0:32:26dollars and so I

0:32:29up one percent of that was yeah you know

0:32:32it's like a rounding error that's that's

0:32:34pretty serious doubt for that kind of

0:32:35community millions and millions and so

0:32:39that and then of course it's like oh

0:32:42this is for art and immediately no one

0:32:46want you know I immediately like no one

0:32:48in government wants to have anything to

0:32:50do with it because art is a lightning

0:32:52rod from for people to be furious and so

0:32:56that's why you even have a heart

0:32:57Commission you put a bunch of people in

0:33:00a Scots around a table and you and you

0:33:04dump this this uh I got like a logic

0:33:08basket full of money

0:33:09yeah like a duffel bag full of cash and

0:33:10you're like okay this is that this is

0:33:12the rounding error from the latest

0:33:14tunnel project figure out how to

0:33:16disperses and then these guys you know

0:33:19and they all have their that they have

0:33:21glad they're all wearing glasses that

0:33:22make my most outrageous pair of glasses

0:33:24look like something from front that's

0:33:28something that you've got a costco like

0:33:30you know guys that speak with the time

0:33:32axis that have classes that are bigger

0:33:33than their head and there then so they

0:33:37the Arts Commission has cash they have

0:33:40real money interesting and they and we

0:33:43be incredible you're queer community

0:33:44interfacing with them our committee is

0:33:47interfacing I had a cat are you

0:33:49Entre Nous with them well it is where a

0:33:52little where we are trying to the new

0:33:54are trying to entree with them in the

0:33:58sense that they have seniority the Arts

0:34:01Commission is 50 years old whereas the

0:34:03music Commission is five years old so

0:34:06there's a little bit of they don't they

0:34:08don't appear to be condescending to us

0:34:11but there is a little bit of like they

0:34:16have a long history of dealing with lots

0:34:18and lots of money and we are just like

0:34:21hey one of the things you could do with

0:34:23that money is given to us

0:34:26and then that then there's a long pause

0:34:28everybody looks at their fingernails

0:34:32we'll see we'll see what I've got to

0:34:35establish myself as a serious member of

0:34:38this organization in order that that

0:34:42some of my larger plans be put into

0:34:44place and I'm not going to get there by

0:34:48like mincing in my would like but my

0:34:52lavender shirt in my collar bar love

0:34:54that word

0:34:55I'm gonna have to i'm gonna have to

0:34:57start you know what it is i think i

0:34:58might wear a suit but not a tie that

0:35:02communicates that communicates a lot of

0:35:04this like a little bit mr. Furley well

0:35:07no I'm not wearing a leisure see ok just

0:35:11one piece suit

0:35:12hi no I'm gonna like we're gonna we're

0:35:14exes a sharp suit but then my shirt open

0:35:17and that's the kind of like yeah I know

0:35:21you just mean like one button

0:35:23yeah I'm not like open to my table i

0:35:26don't know i think that that that's

0:35:29something they're gonna have to really

0:35:30think about if they see the heck they

0:35:31would have to think if you look really

0:35:33good in your shoes are shined like you

0:35:35saying your hair's your shirt is open to

0:35:38your navel in meetings to discuss on

0:35:42away scratching yourself but what's a

0:35:46good talk about the easement for how

0:35:48could we should talk about my plan for

0:35:50the police

0:35:52you're all under arrest I have a very

0:35:55good plan for the police

0:35:57haha no really do you know we talked

0:36:00about the police not very long ago yeah

0:36:02we got a lot of nice feedback about that

0:36:03i have a pea that but but strangely none

0:36:07from police fraternal organizations

0:36:10great

0:36:11but my plan my plan for the police for

0:36:13Seattle and I think this i think this

0:36:15will work all across the country is I

0:36:18think part of the problem of the

0:36:19militarization of the police has been

0:36:21the suburbanization of the police the

0:36:25cops when you when you when you talk to

0:36:28any individual Cobb the cops and the

0:36:31firemen all live in the suburbs now

0:36:34right

0:36:35they didn't get away from the crime

0:36:36exactly they pursue the American Dream

0:36:38and cop culture and firemen culture is

0:36:42suburbanite culture which is

0:36:45intrinsically suspicious of people who

0:36:48live in the city and you know and it

0:36:51fosters a kind of racist like outer rain

0:36:55contempt and dislike for poor people and

0:36:59people who live in town and so my plan

0:37:03for the for the modernization and like

0:37:08read integration of the cops is that

0:37:11every city should build a police academy

0:37:14in the heart of town room because the

0:37:19magnet school kind of thing right

0:37:20exactly like I think part of the problem

0:37:22with the cops too is that we've started

0:37:24to think about police as being a job

0:37:26that requires a four-year degree and

0:37:29this is this is a subset of a larger

0:37:31problem which is the inflation the

0:37:34four-year degree inflation we're now

0:37:37like if you want to if you want to

0:37:40manage a ziebart you have to have a

0:37:44four-year degree like if you want to if

0:37:48you want to be the person in charge of

0:37:50the Froyo machine at the at the cold

0:37:54stone creamery after four year degree if

0:37:57you want anything that requires a key

0:37:58right pretty much you won't ever bring

0:38:01your keys and just anything like we're

0:38:04let you have anything that isn't like

0:38:06when i worked at McDonald's and there's

0:38:08a button you hit that within which means

0:38:10i put the meat down and we'll tell you

0:38:12when it's time to flip it was

0:38:13somersaulted and so on so forth

0:38:14it was actually literally idiot-proof if

0:38:16you want a job more than that today you

0:38:18can get a college degree and that's

0:38:19really fucked up

0:38:20it's really fucked up because a you

0:38:22don't need a college degree had be also

0:38:24guarantee of anything it's not and then

0:38:26what what that massive influx of people

0:38:29in colleges has done is make colleges

0:38:32worthless like colleges are doing

0:38:34college job now and and and and it

0:38:38became a thing I think it became a thing

0:38:40in the last 50 years that that people in

0:38:43politics were able to say like college

0:38:46we want everyone to have an opportunity

0:38:48to go to college and it was a it was an

0:38:50easy thing to say a harder thing to do

0:38:53but it was a thing that it was a thing

0:38:56in public life that they could direct

0:38:58money and resources and a lot of like a

0:39:03lot of glad-handing attention to

0:39:06we're going to make colleges accessible

0:39:08to everyone and so what they did was not

0:39:11make a a grand college education

0:39:14accessible to everyone they just make

0:39:16college stupid so that everybody could

0:39:18get into it and so my thinking is one of

0:39:22the things that we don't need is cops

0:39:24that went to college

0:39:25really they don't need to go to college

0:39:28they need to go to a great police

0:39:31academy right a curriculum / me huh

0:39:36would be with the police academy located

0:39:40in the center of town in the heart of

0:39:42town so that every day you see the young

0:39:44police treat trainees in there

0:39:48what I would hope would be like easter

0:39:51egg colored sweats and they're running

0:39:55up and they're doing their calisthenics

0:39:57and you're starting out with a little

0:39:59bit of humility is that the idea you

0:40:01know what I mean breaking down to earth

0:40:02they're running around the town they're

0:40:03doing a literal funny years with a badge

0:40:06on them they're doing they're doing

0:40:09their pull-ups or whatever in the bus

0:40:11stations and we and we all get to see

0:40:15the young tops and training and they are

0:40:18living with us and their dormitories are

0:40:21right there in the town and so by the

0:40:23time I by the time a young police person

0:40:26an aspiring police person graduates to

0:40:29become a badge officer

0:40:32they are inculcated in the language and

0:40:35culture of the city they intend to

0:40:37police there already and a resident of

0:40:39an urban neighborhood that's right they

0:40:41live in the town and they are their

0:40:44members of the town and they have

0:40:45trained in the town so they're not out

0:40:47at some firing range boot camp out in

0:40:52BFE right and they're not they're not

0:40:56being indoctrinated into a culture that

0:40:58lives outside of the city and is and is

0:41:01inherently hostile to the city so

0:41:03interesting because it really is it's

0:41:05like something from a Bruce Lee movie

0:41:06where you go to this almost like this

0:41:07guarded temple and everything happens in

0:41:09private be very interesting to have

0:41:11something not just on honestly not just

0:41:14in into like embarrassed people or

0:41:15something but be kind of interesting to

0:41:17have in the middle of the city and where

0:41:18people could observe it while it's

0:41:19happening exactly by transparency

0:41:21because the concept of policing is is

0:41:25very very basic like the cops themselves

0:41:28are not do not have power their power is

0:41:32the power that we grab them to police us

0:41:36because we need it because we are big

0:41:39monkeys and so we say collectively yes

0:41:44we need someone to call we need to we

0:41:47need to put somebody in a position where

0:41:49we can call them and we need help and

0:41:52these are the people who you know we're

0:41:56going to a point to that we want them to

0:41:58be young and strong and fleet of foot

0:42:01and but also like smart enough and

0:42:04empowered just enough to be able to make

0:42:08judgment calls but just be people and

0:42:11we're going to be smarter people write

0:42:13this the people part is important and

0:42:15even though we acknowledge yeah I

0:42:17precisely and I mean even though we

0:42:18acknowledge that we want to be police we

0:42:20went up by these rules and we want

0:42:22recourse if something happens i think

0:42:24that it's also it's it doesn't mean that

0:42:27we're prepared you know so much 0 or 1

0:42:30black-and-white kind of thinking about

0:42:31these things

0:42:32it's not saying that we are willingly ok

0:42:34when in exchange we will no longer have

0:42:35a civil society where we understand what

0:42:37rules are enforced the way they are like

0:42:40if I want if I'm gonna be able to call

0:42:41somebody when somebody steals my

0:42:42marijuana

0:42:43I somebody like parked in my space that

0:42:47means i'm willing to live in a police

0:42:48state

0:42:49that's well yeah right exactly at that's

0:42:52what John has pretty good

0:42:54well then what got me thinking was I was

0:42:56I was driving along the other day with

0:42:58my daughter and every time a fire truck

0:43:02goes by or policemen goes by with their

0:43:05lights on she's very curious what's

0:43:07going on and I always say well the

0:43:10fireman is going to help somebody or the

0:43:12policeman is going to help somebody and

0:43:15all of that is part of the part of the

0:43:19like cultural relation that happened to

0:43:22me when I was growing up which is to be

0:43:25taught that the police are there to help

0:43:28you and the firemen are there to help

0:43:30you get help and protect you something

0:43:32happens but you also wanted to know that

0:43:34if something happens you can go to

0:43:35somebody in a uniform and tell them

0:43:37about it exactly like the police on the

0:43:40fire department are our friends and they

0:43:42are there to help us so i'm driving

0:43:44along i'm describing the store and she

0:43:46knows this pretty well now and then I

0:43:48realize the tremendous gulf between the

0:43:54experience that I've had my whole life

0:43:56even even during the many years when I

0:43:59was like fuck the police man believes

0:44:02you but you look in cops man who are

0:44:06like trying to like come down on us in

0:44:10like you know they represent the man and

0:44:14come down on us

0:44:15yeah Freddy hops man even all those

0:44:19years when I was like when I was

0:44:22socially hostile to the cops as part of

0:44:25my rock and roll under underbelly like I

0:44:29also understood very clearly that

0:44:32recourse to the law was a thing that

0:44:35what was a was not a right but that it

0:44:38it it involved it was it was a

0:44:41participatory

0:44:43aspect of citizenship and if you were

0:44:45ever going to call the cops you had

0:44:48better also hold up your end of the

0:44:51bargain by being a like for the most

0:44:55part law abiding and a citizen and and

0:44:58the and the contempt i have for most

0:45:00people is the selective citizenship

0:45:03words like they call the cops and the

0:45:05fire department when they need help but

0:45:07then they refused to pay their taxes or

0:45:09they're both they're you know they're

0:45:11bullies or they are greedy or they are

0:45:14cheaters in every other aspect of expect

0:45:17they expect to be extraordinarily

0:45:19protected by the police what other

0:45:20people are basically exposed to whatever

0:45:23kind of Russia kicking punk flipping

0:45:26bullshit people feel like doing on a

0:45:27given Saturday night

0:45:29right right i mean isn't that kind of it

0:45:30that's the real inequality in some ways

0:45:32is I get extraordinary protection

0:45:33because of this and you get treated that

0:45:35way because well because of that right

0:45:37and and what and I guess the what was

0:45:42happening to me the other day the brain

0:45:43flip that I was experiencing was I was

0:45:47sitting here teaching my daughter this

0:45:48thing that I feel is fundamental which

0:45:50is the police and fire departments are

0:45:52there to help you and then I reflected

0:45:55upon the fact that there are large

0:45:57communities of citizens in my own City

0:46:01who do not see the police that way and

0:46:04that the father's in those communities

0:46:08are forced to teach their daughters a

0:46:12healthy suspicion of the police like be

0:46:16careful around the police is kind of the

0:46:19gentlest way that they probably have to

0:46:21describe it and I'm sure there are

0:46:23plenty of families where the lesson from

0:46:26a very young ages avoid the police at

0:46:29all costs like the police are not your

0:46:31friends the police will hurt you if they

0:46:33get a chance to see a kind of a kind of

0:46:35them sleeping giant like the right don't

0:46:38don't just better better to just go take

0:46:40care of this yeah because executive

0:46:41consequences way beyond getting your

0:46:43redress if you have problems call a

0:46:45family member call you know like run to

0:46:48someone who looks like us but whatever

0:46:51you do do not attract the attention of

0:46:53the police because it never ends well

0:46:55and to imagine to imagine you know

0:46:58myself sharing a city and a culture and

0:47:01anna and a civic life with with groups

0:47:06of fellow Americans who do not have the

0:47:09same recourse to the law and do not feel

0:47:11this do not feel that the police are

0:47:14there to help them in my hand and as as

0:47:16my daughter gets older I will for sure

0:47:18say like don't mouth off to the police

0:47:21the police are the police are idiots

0:47:26let's be honest like they are typically

0:47:2824 year olds with criminal justice

0:47:31degrees who have been who are in culture

0:47:36rated to be unreflecting with father

0:47:39issues right there like I'm going to

0:47:42think that sometimes like you I

0:47:44absolutely they're there they're working

0:47:46out something way beyond criminal

0:47:47justice right now

0:47:48well and the and the problem is that

0:47:49within the culture that is teaching them

0:47:52and training them that is encouraged you

0:47:54know that their lieutenants and their

0:47:56captains also have not been fully

0:48:00culture ated they have a they've been

0:48:03allowed to maintain its the problem with

0:48:05the CIA the CIA isn't is somewhat an

0:48:10independent organization and the prayer

0:48:13and they nominally answer to the

0:48:14president but in fact presidents come

0:48:17and go and the CIA remains and so the

0:48:22CIA is not and does not feel answerable

0:48:24to anybody and it maintains this inner

0:48:27culture that over time has become

0:48:31infected and now CIA is separate from

0:48:37the the separate from the balance of

0:48:42power that keeps our governments table

0:48:44and and they become and and then they

0:48:48end up as a rogue organization and to

0:48:51bring them to heel requires it like an

0:48:53incredible amount of will from the

0:48:56Congress and and the executive and it's

0:48:59a it's it's will bit so do they sell

0:49:02them Express you know and and it's going

0:49:04to take a certain amount of what feels

0:49:05like futzing around where rather just

0:49:07waiting for something

0:49:08it's a huge problem that now we have to

0:49:09cover up or whatever to have an ongoing

0:49:11and get that were transparency and

0:49:14ongoing sense that like we need to

0:49:15really know what's happening and we need

0:49:17to tell people what's happening and we

0:49:19need to make sure that it's what we told

0:49:20people was going to happen right and

0:49:21there needs to be actual effective

0:49:23oversight civilian oversight of these

0:49:25Affairs that is that is 100-percent like

0:49:30a it is not it is not sufficient that

0:49:34your organization investigate itself and

0:49:37declare that you that you have I mean

0:49:40this happens in the Seattle Police

0:49:42Department all the time it happens in

0:49:43the CIA all the time right let's look

0:49:45for security reasons we can't show you

0:49:46what the results are but we'll just tell

0:49:47you turned out great

0:49:48yeah we did an investigation of that

0:49:50thing and we do is we determined that

0:49:52everybody acted properly and except for

0:49:54there was one thing that we could have

0:49:55done better and the appropriate measures

0:49:57were taken and it's just like okay no no

0:50:01no and and two to fire everybody is to

0:50:06just to fire everybody the top is to

0:50:09just then promote the lieutenant's up

0:50:13who raised in the same in the same so

0:50:16what a terrible stuff that I'm and that

0:50:17is that if you think about it that this

0:50:19problem is so out of control that I

0:50:21can't manage anymore so i have to fire

0:50:23everyone and start over but also that

0:50:25well say anything like that be

0:50:27acceptable right and and the only reason

0:50:29that the only reason that we're in that

0:50:31situation is that these organizations

0:50:34continue to recruit and and

0:50:36indoctrinated generation after

0:50:39generation into this into what is

0:50:41essentially like an 11

0:50:44they are an unbeaten hold and culture

0:50:47anyway so my plan for the my plan

0:50:49long-term for urban police departments

0:50:52is to reintegrate them into urban life

0:50:55and novel and and and ultimately like if

0:50:58you want a promotion in the seattle City

0:51:01Police Department live in Seattle if you

0:51:04want to if you want to get your sergeant

0:51:06stripes live in Seattle don't live in

0:51:08issaquah if you live in issaquah want to

0:51:11join the fucking issaquah police

0:51:12department

0:51:13if you want to live work in the Seattle

0:51:15Police Department and you don't want to

0:51:17live in seattle then we then you're not

0:51:20sergeant material not lieutenant

0:51:22material and that seems like in some

0:51:27ways fundamental I have a good friend

0:51:30who works in the Seattle Fire Department

0:51:32he's a close friend and he describes the

0:51:35culture in the fire stations as because

0:51:39a lot of these guys they're mustache

0:51:41guys you know what I mean they're moving

0:51:43they're living out there living on an

0:51:46acre and a half that they're buying with

0:51:49their you know what their inflated Union

0:51:52salaries and they're out there just a

0:51:56quick message on your listening to the

0:51:57pacifica radio network of this is we are

0:51:59picmonkey with a number on the back

0:52:02after this word from police

0:52:04ah but he characterizes the Seattle

0:52:07Police Department in her culture as

0:52:09being light up like a basically redneck

0:52:13redneck and prepare their mustache guys

0:52:16and they're like you know they go they

0:52:18and and and it's a hard job right there

0:52:20getting people dialing 911 right and a

0:52:23lot of people are dialing 911 just

0:52:24because they're lonely and rather than

0:52:28make friends they pretend they're having

0:52:31a heart attack so that some firemen will

0:52:33come and pet their hair like I remember

0:52:35that one

0:52:36you should try it the good one you know

0:52:39Merlin I call 911 all the time but it's

0:52:42the things are going I got just a report

0:52:46like hey i saw hey i saw a pigeon that

0:52:48was limping hey it's Merlin on

0:52:51hey what's up um I don't have a problem

0:52:53yet about i just wanted to give you an

0:52:58update on a couple front of the fence is

0:53:00still an issue it's leaning a little bit

0:53:03i've had a lot of coffee today I've had

0:53:06so much coffee today I just the

0:53:08self-harm

0:53:12so anyway that's my that's my project

0:53:14that's my reform project but i'm not

0:53:15going to get that i'm not going to get

0:53:17that happening if I'm wearing a tie bar

0:53:19at these meetings in the music committee

0:53:20mr. Roderick is it about these

0:53:26applications and talk but you bring to

0:53:28the fore but don't know someone in this

0:53:31particular the community however so we

0:53:36thank you very much for standing up at

0:53:38this meeting mr. archive ask you just to

0:53:41write all these down and capture more

0:53:43people we're going to pass that along to

0:53:45reinvent community right now haven't we

0:53:48are discussing parking didn't kill your

0:53:51parking George outside showbox looks

0:53:55like that was that was a window right

0:53:56you guys get one man's dedicated parking

0:53:59zone clearly marked you know in in a

0:54:02city you know city lives and dies by its

0:54:04parking boot so in a city if you can get

0:54:07if you can get a handle on the parking

0:54:09if you get if you get your hands around

0:54:12the parking the rest will follow

0:54:14that's right you end up in charge us

0:54:16Clinton said that I believe that's good

0:54:18that's really true it's a that's that's

0:54:21the thing that's why I didn't mean to

0:54:22sound glib about the artistic people

0:54:24with Fellini glasses but in in your case

0:54:28like we help people must take what you

0:54:32guys have to say Skynet is seriously

0:54:34because you're influential people but

0:54:35also it is a there's some commerce

0:54:37involved right it isn't just spending

0:54:39money on a giant bow and arrow you know

0:54:42look at UC San Francisco but the public

0:54:46art is important but but in this case it

0:54:47is also commerce and things that Seattle

0:54:50is well known for like music

0:54:52well yeah I the you don't exaggerate

0:54:54that too much that right but the the

0:54:56problem is that mrs. the thing I think I

0:54:58probably mentioned this before like when

0:55:01though when the Rolling Stones played at

0:55:03the Kingdome

0:55:05there were 50,000 people there and

0:55:09everybody was like that's incredible

0:55:1050,000 people came to see the rolling

0:55:14stones but then the following wednesday

0:55:1750,000 people were there to see the

0:55:19seahawks lose to the bears and you

0:55:23realize oh right 50,000 people there to

0:55:27see The Rolling Stones happens once but

0:55:3150,000 people come to watch that stupid

0:55:33football team again like week every week

0:55:36and and then there's 60,000 people

0:55:41watching the baseball team and a million

0:55:46more in the region Washington on TV and

0:55:50you get a sense that music is me at this

0:55:57is this is very complicated from from

0:55:59the standpoint of a musician but like

0:56:01music is important to us in name only

0:56:07really you know every single person at

0:56:10that football game has heard the rolling

0:56:13stones but like they probably are only

0:56:19earned they don't own three different

0:56:22$60 Rolling Stones jerseys and registers

0:56:26that they're not paying for an iphone

0:56:28app that lets them watch The Rolling

0:56:29Stones every single time that they

0:56:32perform at all

0:56:33that's a really interesting way to look

0:56:35at it and I get into this with people

0:56:37all the time where they're like blah

0:56:38blah albums blah blah music should be

0:56:41free blah blah blah blah blah and I say

0:56:44you know an album a record album that

0:56:47took a year to make cost ten dollars on

0:56:52itunes and it's a record that you may

0:56:58listen to a 500 times in your life as

0:57:02many times you want a device that you've

0:57:04got forever for a ten-dollar ten dollars

0:57:07or you're going to see a movie for

0:57:11fourteen dollars and the movie you will

0:57:15watch once and it lasts an hour

0:57:18and yet people go see movies you know

0:57:27without reflecting and yet buying an

0:57:34album seems like a big like I don't know

0:57:37if I want to go by that album

0:57:40jeez you know like buying an album is is

0:57:44some kind of big investment and so so

0:57:50music is like for those of us who live

0:57:55in in the music world and think about

0:57:57music

0:57:58um it's it's of this its kind of has

0:58:01this preeminent importance but really

0:58:06the way we value it culturally is like

0:58:11it is though it is window dressing

0:58:14ultimately and so when we try and make

0:58:18an economic argument for music it is

0:58:23legit

0:58:24music is a an economic driver but the

0:58:31mayor is leaving the meeting with us and

0:58:32he's going to meet with the

0:58:34representatives of the construction

0:58:37Union and it's just like yeah okay well

0:58:41who we are where were drop in the bucket

0:58:46even if you extend the the reasoning and

0:58:49I think it's powerful reasoning like why

0:58:52do people come to Seattle to work at

0:58:54Microsoft if they could if they can go

0:58:56live in palo alto or san jose why would

0:59:02they choose to come work at amazon or a

0:59:06Seattle tech company and the reason that

0:59:09most of them say is well I want to like

0:59:12Seattle culture i want to be a part of

0:59:14seattle culture

0:59:15uh-huh i want to go to shows i want to

0:59:18be part of the the

0:59:20vibrant kind of musical cultural milia

0:59:24that doesn't exist in san jose and has

0:59:29been in a lot of ways priced out of San

0:59:31Francisco again you can't start a band

0:59:35in san francisco now your boots 5001

0:59:38through unless you would like to live

0:59:39closer to san jose and Oakland yeah

0:59:43you'd be in oakland right which is a

0:59:45real city

0:59:46Oakland is a fairly fairly real city and

0:59:48super real city hope opens getting a

0:59:50priced out to carry out there so so you

0:59:54can drastically make that economic

0:59:56impact argument to the mayor all the

0:59:59time like what

0:59:59time like what

1:00:00and when people fill out surveys why did

1:00:02I moved to Seattle music is always right

1:00:05at the top of the list but again it's

1:00:07intangible right

1:00:10I you know I i have so many blind spots

1:00:13and cataracts in my life but I feel like

1:00:14two giant cultural holes in my life

1:00:18probably my detriment our video games

1:00:20and sports and videogames I just a

1:00:23couple video games to play on my phone

1:00:25but compared to anybody my age or

1:00:27younger completely off my radar screen i

1:00:30just it is it really it's not even like

1:00:32hospital thing with video games really

1:00:33is it just an eye

1:00:35I'm not interested like it i don't i

1:00:37don't care i don't care about sports

1:00:40I'm actively against sports in some ways

1:00:42but those two things failing to really

1:00:44grok what those two industries uber

1:00:47industries really means to stop 1f when

1:00:49it does occur to me I realize how dumb I

1:00:51am because I had never put sports even

1:00:54in the same i never i just don't think

1:00:56about supports it just doesn't i just i

1:00:58mainly I think about sports somebody

1:01:00mentioned sports i got we're talking

1:01:01about sports that's really dorky but in

1:01:03this case it's so interesting to think

1:01:04about how much money passes through that

1:01:07town whenever there's a sports game

1:01:09going on

1:01:10it's a it's really amazing to think that

1:01:12she thinks like convention and visitors

1:01:14bureau right where you get all this big

1:01:16hit of like 5,000 people going to come

1:01:19stay at all these hotels and stuff like

1:01:20that but i'm guessing i mean your sports

1:01:23teams do pretty well right

1:01:24oh let me see our sports teams

1:01:28I just want a you guys want to make

1:01:31things less yeah there was a big Super

1:01:32Bowl that we want okay sorry sorry i'm

1:01:35sorry i was then and see this is the

1:01:37problem one of the teams that we that we

1:01:39massacred that we really just destroyed

1:01:43humiliated in fact yes so that the city

1:01:46that that team hails from has to spend

1:01:49than the next year just reflects in San

1:01:52Francisco inferiority yeah that's really

1:01:56sad now that's really rough i said i

1:02:00prize at an all-time low now that I've

1:02:02learned we lost the Super Bowl there

1:02:03there are a couple of people I think

1:02:05that listen to the show even play that

1:02:07game to see how we can go without

1:02:08learning who won the superbowl no no

1:02:11couple people who listen to the show who

1:02:12are right now so mad at me that i have

1:02:15reminded them all the time and

1:02:18podcasting on

1:02:20so anyway but that shouldn't you know

1:02:22the thing is it is fascinating to think

1:02:23about because you know in my head you go

1:02:25like Seattle let's take our time let's

1:02:27take our you know we think about why you

1:02:30bring a convention to a town I bet

1:02:32there's OS been felt like an iceberg

1:02:34where we only see the top 10% or

1:02:36whatever it's really so many different

1:02:37dealings and things that go into why

1:02:39somebody ends up in Las Vegas vs. New

1:02:41York vs. philadelphia or wherever but if

1:02:44you have to like socialize it with your

1:02:45group and go hey you know we could do

1:02:48this in Seattle right and their sports

1:02:50ball team won the superbowl like we

1:02:52should go there and they'd be like yeah

1:02:54we could totally catch a new ball game

1:02:56that will show their will see some new

1:02:58ball was gonna throw the fish being dead

1:03:01serious emotional bond serious way

1:03:03well yeah or you may go yeah Seattle

1:03:05that's where the music came from in the

1:03:06black hole sun and whatnot but like

1:03:08that'd be great for banned by the way

1:03:09sons the buckle sons sis

1:03:12hello captured that somebody write this

1:03:15down

1:03:16Wow well I don't know our all I heard

1:03:21did you just recently mentioned that

1:03:24song that Jenna to the the UH RIT

1:03:30mention that song recently what's called

1:03:31was the first hit for saving time

1:03:34no you don't have to go home but you

1:03:40can't stay here know that

1:03:47and that that though that was going on

1:03:49the band's sound with the sound was the

1:03:51first week it first Soundgarden big hit

1:03:54well you're talking to somebody from

1:03:55Seattle i'm going to say that's very

1:03:56different thing this week the onions

1:03:58time studying damn you John Rex with

1:04:00them somebody asked you an interview

1:04:01like what you think of when you think of

1:04:03Seattle music and you pull this song

1:04:04straight out what's the one sherman

1:04:05brothers are you know you know the one I

1:04:08mean uh first began from me or I'll so

1:04:13frustrating was it not shine shine no

1:04:17more than an outright that's what this

1:04:20web the first one didn't make a single

1:04:22rock star

1:04:24hey yeah i'm missing all the garden and

1:04:29looking narrow was it

1:04:33Macarena its sister and it got wiring

1:04:37and others daddy as that guy you know

1:04:41that guy right at you know that guy

1:04:43yeah people think about Soundgarden the

1:04:49lines across your face i drawn with hate

1:04:51um it's got that it's got to be riff oh

1:04:57you know how and all this out

1:04:59that's that is how good you could do the

1:05:05general down that was not their first

1:05:08big hit those later but since this from

1:05:11their bad motor or finger or album right

1:05:13who have really derail myself we got

1:05:16away from cops we got away from your

1:05:18balls anyway like if you said older but

1:05:27the thing is though you get 15 of these

1:05:29people in a room and go hey should we do

1:05:31it in Seattle like one of them's gonna

1:05:33go hell yeah man yasan and everybody

1:05:35else is going to be like no over ball

1:05:37like they've gotta be you know what i

1:05:38mean that's like that's well you think

1:05:40about that 50,000 people all like 50,000

1:05:43people / 4 because they come in car

1:05:45you're doing well you like capacity

1:05:47every week probably 25 35 dollars per

1:05:50car to park and then everybody gets a

1:05:54wiener dog paddle

1:05:56horn everybody gets a kettle corn

1:05:58there's people drinking beers

1:06:00there's all the jerseys they're selling

1:06:02its massive massive money wave every

1:06:06time one of these voltages planes I just

1:06:08confuse pretty noose without shined yeah

1:06:11pretty nice i just did that did i'm so

1:06:13excited that Britain news is a pretty

1:06:16angry right yeah that was you know that

1:06:20the the ben shephard base era I have to

1:06:24say when they really turned him loose on

1:06:25his bass guitar

1:06:27yeah uh that there are some very

1:06:30powerful bass riffs so I was thinking of

1:06:32was outside so you got thirty-five

1:06:34dollars worth of kettle corn five people

1:06:35in a pot that all arriving first sports

1:06:37a new ball that's right a lot of them

1:06:39are staying in hotels probably probably

1:06:42the 5,000 people that came for the

1:06:44advertising the advertising revenue I

1:06:47script it's crazy and then all the

1:06:50kickbacks elementary all the paper a guy

1:06:54i saw this i saw this is the detail the

1:06:57other day a in association with the fact

1:07:00that mick jagger's longtime girlfriend

1:07:02just recently committed to this sad it

1:07:05was a really tragic and she's telling

1:07:07you she's tall lady and and and that

1:07:10alone made me like have a have a new

1:07:13respect for Mick Jagger I you notice

1:07:15that when guys get to be a certain

1:07:16amount of rich and famous they like

1:07:20these small people small guys they no

1:07:23longer are self-conscious about their

1:07:24height and they're dating women who are

1:07:26like a foot and a half taller than they

1:07:27are like I kind of admire that it's like

1:07:29wow okay well sure why wouldn't you like

1:07:32this girl is amazing and also super tall

1:07:35and that's its own mean about the

1:07:38pictures of them standing next to each

1:07:39other where she is my kind of leaning

1:07:41down like fetish porn it's like giant s

1:07:43porn crazy she's super she's 64 in bare

1:07:47feet crazy but one of the side details

1:07:53in all of that tragic a reporting and i

1:07:57really i really was astonished that he

1:07:59was you

1:08:01it seemed that their relationship was

1:08:02real and he was very seemed really taken

1:08:04back to have

1:08:05stated by the yeah but one of the very

1:08:07side minut side details was that Mick

1:08:11Jagger was worth 200 million dollars i

1:08:13saw this note notated because in our in

1:08:18our culture now you have to you have to

1:08:21append to every mention of somebody

1:08:24famous their age also how much they're

1:08:27worth a hundred percent yes

1:08:28Mick Jagger age 64 estimated estimate

1:08:32has waited with 200 million dollars yeah

1:08:34and you can see in my head yeah that

1:08:36that little detail the only reason it's

1:08:39stuck out was I had just an hour before

1:08:42i read an article that said that an Andy

1:08:46Warhol lithograph of some kind had

1:08:50recently sold at sotheby's 425 million

1:08:54dollars something that's so weird when

1:08:58you have next to each other like that

1:09:00yeah and so that that's exactly right i

1:09:02know but probably made em pop within

1:09:05five years each other

1:09:06I mean that career of the rolling stones

1:09:08and I and andy warhol yeah so yeah when

1:09:13I read the sotheby's story and it was

1:09:16talking about like oh wow we got more

1:09:18than a hundred million dollars for this

1:09:20Andy Warhol thing it's sort of passed by

1:09:23unremarkably in my imagination like oh

1:09:26sure I guess I mean maybe I'm surprised

1:09:28it's not more or whatever or a hundred

1:09:32million dollars i wish i had bought an

1:09:34Andy Warhol when they were only 1

1:09:36million dollars but it kind of just was

1:09:40like so art is priced x and so I guess

1:09:44there are lots and lots and lots of

1:09:46people who have so much money that a

1:09:50hundred million dollars for a painting

1:09:52feels like I mean clearly paintings like

1:09:56that are being bought for investment

1:09:59purposes yeah like institutions stuff

1:10:01but I mean no Rob I think I think I

1:10:03think the real buyers of that stuff are

1:10:05these billionaire software people &

1:10:09finance ears and Russian oligarchs who

1:10:13are buying that material as a form of

1:10:16one-upsmanship for one another

1:10:17like I can't imagine an institution

1:10:21buying that Andy Warhol painting and

1:10:23justifying it to anybody for a hundred

1:10:25million dollars in his place Benevolent

1:10:28Association exactly yeah the little bit

1:10:32that a new wall secret policeman's other

1:10:35art collection takes other balls but

1:10:37then is but then I read this this this

1:10:40like completely sort of specious

1:10:43reference to Mick Jagger's wealth and

1:10:45then realized like oh 200 million

1:10:48dollars is less than the current lotto

1:10:54ah only you

1:10:57the mega ball your office that's just

1:11:00right there

1:11:00the mega ball is 400 million dollar and

1:11:04Mick Jagger stands atop a mountain in my

1:11:09mind with few others as a as a person

1:11:15who like made his mark on the culture is

1:11:21very important to me and he also feels

1:11:25like unassailably unreachable e rich and

1:11:30successful even accounting for what

1:11:32happened in the early seventies even

1:11:35accounting because I'm all basically

1:11:36their career started over in like

1:11:38nineteen seventy-three right with what

1:11:40ya their money was going to had only

1:11:41remind all no rights no money no

1:11:43anything and even accounting for their

1:11:46like Mick Jagger's abysmal performance

1:11:49in that in that documentary about oh

1:11:55yeah about the rock concert there in San

1:11:58Francisco the speedway them

1:12:01montini rd and ultimate altamonte

1:12:03sympathy for the devil wanting yards

1:12:05including arts people of Vietnam bista

1:12:08uh yeah right

1:12:10uh he was terrible in that movie and it

1:12:12made me and maybe let's do another take

1:12:14baby red do another take me for

1:12:17everything is becoming shattered should

1:12:19do be up there we'll get along

1:12:24hey hey man chill out

1:12:27stabs dabs dab think about the number of

1:12:302015 about how many 24 year olds in the

1:12:32bay area right now have two hundred

1:12:34million dollars now I don't want to

1:12:38either

1:12:39I don't want to get involved I want to

1:12:41get I want to rent a convention center

1:12:44and get all those 24 year olds in a room

1:12:46and had lecture them for a year

1:12:51no like i want to have that power I want

1:12:54to sit them down i want to i want to

1:12:56show them powerpoint demonstration after

1:12:58powerpoint demonstration was set to it

1:13:00the tall lady who died

1:13:02what does this have to do with just this

1:13:04is how you get the 200 million dollar

1:13:05mark 200 million dollars sorry

1:13:07yeah I there are so many people now with

1:13:11two hundred million dollars who don't

1:13:13deserve it you haven't earned its 200

1:13:16million dollars has become and honestly

1:13:18i can say that without fear of

1:13:20contradiction have not earned it the

1:13:23fact that they wrote flappy bird app or

1:13:26you know worth it's where the fourth

1:13:29tell you everything I want to hear more

1:13:31more things you know about the diplomat

1:13:33the fourth they were the fourth employee

1:13:36of the fuckin toilet brush app or

1:13:40whatever and now there were two hundred

1:13:41million dollars

1:13:42fuck them and fuck this fuck is

1:13:44capitalism that makes this real

1:13:47yes fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it its

1:13:50there's something seriously immoral

1:13:52about it i don't believe it

1:13:54I don't believe in it and somebody

1:13:57should be arrested

1:13:58yes it should be somebody i think after

1:14:02a week or police academy of the one over

1:14:05by the library where it's going to be I

1:14:07think this should we should maybe kind

1:14:10of let you know this is coming but

1:14:11nothing you definitely an announcement

1:14:13about it but I think as the week's go by

1:14:16your training

1:14:17it's easy enough to get in you get into

1:14:20the building your father to the police

1:14:21had a day five days a week six days a

1:14:23week whatever it is that the doors are

1:14:24open to leave the building you have to

1:14:26solve a crime or maybe help someone like

1:14:29you're not allowed to go home until

1:14:31you've helped somebody like two random

1:14:33days a week

1:14:34you gotta go change a tire or you might

1:14:36have to solve Alec a deadly

1:14:38murder-suicide

1:14:39which ATM alright it's a little bit of

1:14:42okay it's a little bit of like a

1:14:43scouting thing right can't just you have

1:14:46to you have to tie some knots or you

1:14:47have to help us across the street or you

1:14:50have to use your cheap and totes cool

1:14:52criminal justice meet snipe hunting

1:14:55guess I i feel you tried to I feel you

1:14:59trying to direct my attention away from

1:15:01the government of many 604 just about to

1:15:05solve the capitalism we were just about

1:15:08to put hundreds of strangers in a room

1:15:10and do something terrible to them

1:15:12because it made a lot of money

1:15:14yes terrible terrible no been listening

1:15:16to my lecture isn't terrible looks

1:15:18listening and figured that was just the

1:15:19opening act

1:15:20haha I is an abattoir may be fighting

1:15:23shortlist with garbage click that's

1:15:25thought you would be the keynote speaker

1:15:28i would be the I just be softening them

1:15:32up and then you would you would come in

1:15:34and sweep up the right attention then

1:15:36encourage them to each other that's with

1:15:38nails in them all right break at the top

1:15:435 video games and made them real flappy

1:15:45bird vs toilet brush

1:15:48you have to delete out of la la oh my

1:15:51god ZZTop played here in Seattle last

1:15:53night and I didn't go my gosh I'm kind

1:15:55of surprised i'm a little bit surprised

1:15:57too but it's one of the CCM life before

1:16:01me another one of your favorites i have

1:16:03seen them lives and I was the first time

1:16:07I saw them live

1:16:08I got kicked out of the concert halfway

1:16:10through because some security ape saw me

1:16:16drinking a bottle of peach schnapps

1:16:19and they booted me out and I was about

1:16:22was really upset i was like take the

1:16:24schnapps there are people around me

1:16:26smoking pot like I just brought some

1:16:28snacks with his society there's levels

1:16:30to deescalate you don't just throw me

1:16:31out you take the schnapps amazing a

1:16:33warning shot

1:16:34that's right they grabbed me and they

1:16:35threw me out into the rain so that made

1:16:38me mad

1:16:39particularly since it wasn't even like

1:16:40it's not like I was drinking southern

1:16:42comfort i was drinking peach schnapps I

1:16:44don't even know what the fuck everything

1:16:45you might have just been off-brand know

1:16:48is that it was the era and then the

1:16:51second time i saw him it was like a

1:16:53county fair and Billy Gibbons had that

1:16:56thing I've seen Tom Petty have this

1:16:58problem to which is that they get to be

1:17:00a certain age and they're they're very

1:17:04skinny men tom petty is very skinny only

1:17:09given is also not not fat skin which is

1:17:14a scrawny there's exclusive kind of

1:17:17screening this but what what what I saw

1:17:20in both of these cases and this is maybe

1:17:22one of the problems with standing

1:17:24backstage is that their show costume is

1:17:31not made out of regular clothes

1:17:35by which I mean to say that when they

1:17:39take this when they say thanks greater

1:17:41fox6 no but they are causing you

1:17:44yeah they're wearing like their show

1:17:46pants and their show pants are made to

1:17:52look good from 50 feet away but really

1:17:59they have elastic waistbands like they

1:18:03are sweatpants that there's nothing

1:18:06along Dave RV driving out of yeah

1:18:09there's my parents that have been

1:18:10tailored is like mike mills pants these

1:18:12are like spangly i'm a rockstar pants

1:18:14but with a comfy elastic waist

1:18:17yeah i mean they're like they're like

1:18:18black pants that are made to look like

1:18:21they are stovepipe cowboy pants like gun

1:18:27gunslinger pain a little bit stage

1:18:29presence with a little yeah they got a

1:18:31little stage stiffness

1:18:33but when you see them up close and from

1:18:35behind you realize oh these are like

1:18:38these are comfort waist pants and

1:18:42because all because everybody now is

1:18:45wearing in-ear remote radio monitors or

1:18:49whatever everybody's got a little box a

1:18:52little like a radio receiver on their

1:18:55belt loop and that tends to pull down

1:18:58the elastic know so you get a little

1:19:02glimpse of the small of tom petty's back

1:19:05or the small of Billy Gibbons is back

1:19:09and it's just and this small of their

1:19:12scrawny little back is like covered with

1:19:15a little tangle of white-ass hair and it

1:19:27just feels like nobody was you're gonna

1:19:29see really give us

1:19:31I don't I never wanted to see it