Roderick on the Line

Ep. 94: "Backburners to Infinity"


00:00:00   hello a John hi Merlin is going pretty [TS]

00:00:10   good pretty good pretty good little bit [TS]

00:00:14   sick it's a little early on come on [TS]

00:00:17   I thought we were over this you know I [TS]

00:00:19   thought so too but i but I you know I [TS]

00:00:21   went to the oregon coast i was walking [TS]

00:00:23   on the beach in the winter in the night [TS]

00:00:26   and the sick mites got me [TS]

00:00:32   it blew up my nose flute the flu seems [TS]

00:00:36   that it's not absolutely that's right [TS]

00:00:38   but it's not so bad I feel like that but [TS]

00:00:41   feel like a kind of threw the worst then [TS]

00:00:43   he sounded pretty good considering [TS]

00:00:45   yeah i woke up it i went to bed at like [TS]

00:00:47   I like four o'clock in the morning and I [TS]

00:00:51   said which is you know which is not [TS]

00:00:54   doing too good but but a but i but I [TS]

00:00:57   felt I felt confident it's a new year [TS]

00:00:59   this this is this four o'clock in the [TS]

00:01:01   morning thing is not going to be the [TS]

00:01:02   regular pattern and I was like listen [TS]

00:01:05   I'm going to sleep 211 and that is going [TS]

00:01:08   to be seven hours of sleep and that is [TS]

00:01:09   fine that's a good that's that's how i'm [TS]

00:01:13   going to run tomorrow and then i woke up [TS]

00:01:16   at seven forty-five in the morning just [TS]

00:01:17   just woke right up bolt upright [TS]

00:01:21   yeah and I was like I walk right up and [TS]

00:01:23   I was and I was humming a song by whole [TS]

00:01:25   day it's were little good and I was like [TS]

00:01:30   ah I hate you forever for mentioning [TS]

00:01:34   that is not in my head to try to go back [TS]

00:01:36   to sleep and I made my bed a lion I [TS]

00:01:39   admit I made my breasts so gross but you [TS]

00:01:44   know busy day busy i got a lot of stuff [TS]

00:01:47   going on doing what he's so busy with [TS]

00:01:49   their people are barely back at work and [TS]

00:01:51   you're out there is this is part of the [TS]

00:01:52   new political regime is this your new [TS]

00:01:53   media the three-point career what's [TS]

00:01:56   going on [TS]

00:01:57   that's my media three-point on queries i [TS]

00:01:59   decided i decided that the the last week [TS]

00:02:02   of last year that i was going to hire [TS]

00:02:06   somebody [TS]

00:02:07   oh you ready for this [TS]

00:02:10   I can't wait to hear so many things you [TS]

00:02:13   could use help with i decided that i [TS]

00:02:16   needed help and that front for so long [TS]

00:02:22   I've been waiting for help to arrive and [TS]

00:02:28   help you know help would come around [TS]

00:02:31   help would come and help would be [TS]

00:02:33   outside the fence and it would be kind [TS]

00:02:34   of looking over the fence and I be [TS]

00:02:36   inside the fence looking koi like a kind [TS]

00:02:39   of Mary Poppins like you said you needed [TS]

00:02:40   it like something which show up with an [TS]

00:02:43   umbrella and will be just what you need [TS]

00:02:44   it [TS]

00:02:45   exactly except Mary Poppins never came [TS]

00:02:48   through the fence and I think I've some [TS]

00:02:50   of it was I never invited her in some of [TS]

00:02:52   it was that it you know I i pulled I [TS]

00:02:55   pulled up the paving-stones who from the [TS]

00:02:59   gate to the porch it because i was going [TS]

00:03:02   to redo it and then I then I didn't [TS]

00:03:04   really do it and then it just became [TS]

00:03:05   muddy bog i sent a message [TS]

00:03:09   yeah it does it does i have black people [TS]

00:03:11   come over and say would you put down [TS]

00:03:12   some bricks or or paving stones or [TS]

00:03:15   something it's just like you you're the [TS]

00:03:18   path from your gate to your house is [TS]

00:03:20   like is like a trip through the Mekong [TS]

00:03:22   Delta maybe you should start by having [TS]

00:03:25   Mary Poppins a stonemason somebody I [TS]

00:03:27   could start and could really just do you [TS]

00:03:29   know step 0 next time that is step serve [TS]

00:03:32   somebody shows up at my house and build [TS]

00:03:33   their own path to my door [TS]

00:03:35   that's not my experience any kind of [TS]

00:03:37   professional help is a little bit like a [TS]

00:03:38   vampire [TS]

00:03:39   I mean it'll it'll be there but you have [TS]

00:03:41   to invite it in the only way you can let [TS]

00:03:42   the vampire aim is to say please come [TS]

00:03:44   into the house [TS]

00:03:45   exactly so so at the end of last year I [TS]

00:03:47   was like you know what I keep I inv the [TS]

00:03:50   people I know who have helped I I have [TS]

00:03:53   all these things that are on back [TS]

00:03:56   burners I mean this my stove has so many [TS]

00:03:58   back burners its back burners to [TS]

00:04:00   infinity and the front burners are just [TS]

00:04:03   like there's a there's that teapot that [TS]

00:04:06   i hardly ever use only when guests are [TS]

00:04:08   over and then the other panels got bacon [TS]

00:04:11   grease and I think this is common for a [TS]

00:04:13   lot of people don't wanna get some [TS]

00:04:14   common John I think a lot of people i [TS]

00:04:16   know including me suffer from this and [TS]

00:04:18   people who are trying to accomplish [TS]

00:04:19   virtually any [TS]

00:04:21   thing and especially virtually anything [TS]

00:04:22   on their own quote unquote running these [TS]

00:04:25   things were like yeah that can wait and [TS]

00:04:28   right you know where it's absolutely [TS]

00:04:32   true and and I know about myself that [TS]

00:04:34   the thing that troubles me a each and [TS]

00:04:36   every time is not the is not the show I [TS]

00:04:40   don't have any in him I don't have any [TS]

00:04:44   apprehension about getting up onstage [TS]

00:04:47   and putting on a show [TS]

00:04:48   the thing that inhibits me is the making [TS]

00:04:53   of the phone call to the guy who's [TS]

00:04:56   running the lights I don't care I don't [TS]

00:04:59   want to make the phone call I don't want [TS]

00:05:01   to talk to the guy that's running the [TS]

00:05:02   lights and the and that is the phone [TS]

00:05:06   call that it stands in between me and [TS]

00:05:08   putting on the show and so the show [TS]

00:05:11   doesn't get get put on because i don't [TS]

00:05:13   want to call the guy that's doing the [TS]

00:05:14   lights and talk to him for five minutes [TS]

00:05:16   about the stupid light show that is [TS]

00:05:19   that's the difference between a good [TS]

00:05:21   showing up in and for me it also then [TS]

00:05:23   becomes the dread of taking on new [TS]

00:05:26   enterprises that will require an [TS]

00:05:28   inevitable waiting for a call from the [TS]

00:05:29   light guy that's right you think okay do [TS]

00:05:31   I really want 10 more of these and so [TS]

00:05:33   the dread is compounded by the fact that [TS]

00:05:35   everybody I know that has a manager [TS]

00:05:37   spends twice as much time as they used [TS]

00:05:42   to spend managing themselves complaining [TS]

00:05:44   about the poor job that the managers to [TS]

00:05:46   and everybody I know that has an [TS]

00:05:49   assistance spends half of the time that [TS]

00:05:53   spends twice twice the time cleaning up [TS]

00:05:55   after their assistant but there are a [TS]

00:05:58   few there are a few examples of people [TS]

00:06:00   that have incredibly collaborative [TS]

00:06:03   relationships with the somebody that [TS]

00:06:05   helps them and the person that helps [TS]

00:06:08   them is not also trying to be a [TS]

00:06:10   songwriter or whatever the person that [TS]

00:06:14   helps them is not also trying to manage [TS]

00:06:16   michael buble you know there's somebody [TS]

00:06:19   there is this person in the middle [TS]

00:06:22   who's like the same scale as me the same [TS]

00:06:26   realm as me [TS]

00:06:29   we speak the same language but they are [TS]

00:06:31   on the side that is like oh called a [TS]

00:06:35   lighting guy you're kidding [TS]

00:06:36   done boom and where they got the mind [TS]

00:06:40   for that kind of thing not mine mine for [TS]

00:06:42   it they got the mind fourth day they [TS]

00:06:44   love to do it [TS]

00:06:45   my sister if you if you have if you have [TS]

00:06:48   a complaint with a with a with a [TS]

00:06:51   customer service agent my sister will [TS]

00:06:53   shoulder you out of the way to make the [TS]

00:06:55   call for you because she loves dealing [TS]

00:06:58   with customer service agents it's a dead [TS]

00:07:01   end and if my sister and I got along [TS]

00:07:03   better [TS]

00:07:03   she would be a great manager for you I [TS]

00:07:06   wouldn't be rejected out of hand maybe [TS]

00:07:08   you need somebody you don't get along [TS]

00:07:09   with but he'll understand the problem [TS]

00:07:11   domain [TS]

00:07:11   well and this is the big ten years ago [TS]

00:07:13   if I had it all to do over again invited [TS]

00:07:17   all to do over again I what about apple [TS]

00:07:19   stock but if I had it all to do over [TS]

00:07:20   again I would have invited my sister to [TS]

00:07:22   be my manager 20 years ago and maybe we [TS]

00:07:25   would be in a different place now [TS]

00:07:26   because she mean it that way if that was [TS]

00:07:29   actually her job she would have woken me [TS]

00:07:32   up the next day and been like what the [TS]

00:07:33   fuck you doing [TS]

00:07:34   he's sleeping he's sleeping for a little [TS]

00:07:37   while what am I supposed to man i'm [TS]

00:07:38   supposed to manage you sleeping [TS]

00:07:40   get up you know and we would have been [TS]

00:07:42   on it that we would have been so we'd be [TS]

00:07:44   somewhere else now anyway so today I'm [TS]

00:07:47   having a meeting with some people who [TS]

00:07:52   are going to help me find some other [TS]

00:07:55   people who are going to help me aahh [TS]

00:07:58   this is exciting because i think you [TS]

00:08:01   you're doing something smart i was going [TS]

00:08:02   to offer you advice but you're way ahead [TS]

00:08:03   of me i think one way a lot of these [TS]

00:08:05   things go wrong and I think you [TS]

00:08:07   we've talked about this you know this [TS]

00:08:08   one thing that goes wrong sometimes is [TS]

00:08:10   hiring is being too abrupt about hiring [TS]

00:08:13   a person who is either cheap familiar a [TS]

00:08:16   fan of something but making some kind of [TS]

00:08:18   a rookie mistake about bringing somebody [TS]

00:08:20   in and that's what leads you into having [TS]

00:08:21   to like manage a person it you know if [TS]

00:08:24   you went out to hire a plumber you [TS]

00:08:26   wouldn't care if they're familiar with [TS]

00:08:27   your work you would get somebody who's [TS]

00:08:29   just really good at the loop [TS]

00:08:31   right and and so in this case you have [TS]

00:08:33   you have a blue ribbon panel is going to [TS]

00:08:35   help you exact find the right person [TS]

00:08:37   looking if I could ask if you can say if [TS]

00:08:39   you know and can say are you looking for [TS]

00:08:42   more of a manager or more of an [TS]

00:08:44   assistant [TS]

00:08:45   well here's the thing so as I was as I [TS]

00:08:48   was conceiving of this person I'm like [TS]

00:08:50   what do i want i want someone who is [TS]

00:08:53   half the time an assistant and who does [TS]

00:08:57   not balk at assistant work and yet [TS]

00:09:03   aspires to grow with me into a position [TS]

00:09:09   where they are doing managerial work and [TS]

00:09:14   I know for a fact that the thing that [TS]

00:09:17   inhibits me most about doing anything is [TS]

00:09:20   that is the dread I feel about the [TS]

00:09:24   process of finding a person not [TS]

00:09:26   miserable [TS]

00:09:28   I don't want to think about it so I [TS]

00:09:31   called a friend that I knew was too busy [TS]

00:09:35   to help me and I said hello friend that [TS]

00:09:39   too busy to help me and yet is an office [TS]

00:09:41   manager for a non-profit right so has [TS]

00:09:45   the skills and i said hello friend [TS]

00:09:47   I know you're too busy to do this work [TS]

00:09:49   will you help me find somebody to help [TS]

00:09:52   me do this work [TS]

00:09:54   and this was like the type of thing that [TS]

00:09:57   she excels at tune and so she is now [TS]

00:10:01   embarking on a project of interviewing [TS]

00:10:05   people on my behalf so that she can find [TS]

00:10:11   three candidates that then I can talk to [TS]

00:10:14   and pick pick up one of while right and [TS]

00:10:19   so what I'm looking for and this is the [TS]

00:10:20   thing i have and the other thing I'm [TS]

00:10:22   grappling with is now i have to be [TS]

00:10:23   prepared to pay this person for the work [TS]

00:10:28   that they do I have to be able to pay i [TS]

00:10:30   have to be well it's not an ability to [TS]

00:10:32   pay i have to be willing to pay them [TS]

00:10:34   like a and I have to discover them the [TS]

00:10:41   way that I'm going to pay them and the [TS]

00:10:43   amount that i'm going to pay them right [TS]

00:10:44   there is co measure it with the work and [TS]

00:10:49   it's all very it's all very new and [TS]

00:10:51   exciting and then the working conditions [TS]

00:10:53   would be working conditions such a [TS]

00:10:57   fantastic that's true there's such a [TS]

00:10:58   thing as a pay they get to talk to me [TS]

00:11:01   and hear my ideas in the full freshness [TS]

00:11:05   wow moment they are conceived that's a [TS]

00:11:09   benefit [TS]

00:11:10   I knew a guy and I I can't decide if [TS]

00:11:13   this is super douchey kind of smart or [TS]

00:11:15   something else but he embarked on this [TS]

00:11:17   particular kind of experiment as well [TS]

00:11:19   and for the first I remembering this [TS]

00:11:24   correctly I think what he did was hired [TS]

00:11:26   in your case went out and hired all [TS]

00:11:28   three from month and then discovered [TS]

00:11:32   fairly clearly them against each other [TS]

00:11:34   maybe the five shirtless and effective [TS]

00:11:36   through a knife on the floor and said [TS]

00:11:38   one of you is going to be my brand of [TS]

00:11:39   you get the pool cue now but i mean i-i [TS]

00:11:43   me according to know [TS]

00:11:44   according to know for most douchebags [TS]

00:11:45   everything works according to them but [TS]

00:11:47   in this case of the things you'd expect [TS]

00:11:49   but um but you know that's kind of [TS]

00:11:50   person has a system let's be honest you [TS]

00:11:52   but if you were to hire several people [TS]

00:11:54   you would also learn fast you would [TS]

00:11:57   learn fast how to deal with people and [TS]

00:11:59   just give up the fact that for a month [TS]

00:12:00   and a half you're just gonna be a [TS]

00:12:01   manager that's going to get you to be [TS]

00:12:03   annoyed you'll discover whether you can [TS]

00:12:04   deal with this situation but [TS]

00:12:06   bet you will discover within a week and [TS]

00:12:08   a half at the outside which one of these [TS]

00:12:11   people is most likely work out for you [TS]

00:12:12   and then consequently whether you can [TS]

00:12:14   afford them because they're that good [TS]

00:12:15   you know saying you could offer to give [TS]

00:12:18   somebody an e3 people eat un dollars [TS]

00:12:21   freedom for two weeks right unless [TS]

00:12:23   they're looking for some kind of bigger [TS]

00:12:25   commitment but I mean you might learn a [TS]

00:12:26   lot by doing that I mean the problem is [TS]

00:12:28   it takes takes so you know I hate that [TS]

00:12:30   were training people but it takes so [TS]

00:12:32   long to acclimate somebody to the way [TS]

00:12:34   that you work right and no one [TS]

00:12:37   distinction this is really fast I'll but [TS]

00:12:39   one distinction between an assistant [TS]

00:12:40   manager and assistant is somebody who [TS]

00:12:42   you pay to learn how to work for you and [TS]

00:12:46   how to make and how to do the stuff that [TS]

00:12:48   you need them to do but a great manager [TS]

00:12:50   in some ways somebody tells you what you [TS]

00:12:52   need to be dealing and then helps you to [TS]

00:12:54   do it and the thing is i the the all the [TS]

00:12:56   great managers that I have known are [TS]

00:12:59   ones that came up with the band and they [TS]

00:13:04   were the they were the fifth Beatle [TS]

00:13:05   their dicks some of them are the worst [TS]

00:13:09   ickle some of them are the fucking worse [TS]

00:13:11   but there are a few of them who were [TS]

00:13:14   just like the heat they were the the [TS]

00:13:16   roommate of of the guitar player and [TS]

00:13:20   they didn't play guitar but they were [TS]

00:13:21   like i'll i'll make the t-shirts or [TS]

00:13:23   whatever and and they learn the whole [TS]

00:13:25   process as the band is learning the [TS]

00:13:27   process and so they learn the band's [TS]

00:13:30   process as the band is learning it and [TS]

00:13:33   they become incredibly effective [TS]

00:13:35   managers because they're members of the [TS]

00:13:37   family [TS]

00:13:37   absolutely because there they have a [TS]

00:13:39   slightly different view port into it [TS]

00:13:41   being you know these Ivy they're looking [TS]

00:13:42   for where the money is going to come [TS]

00:13:43   from if they're able to introduce course [TS]

00:13:47   corrections sometimes painful course [TS]

00:13:49   corrections but to introduce those [TS]

00:13:51   before it becomes a problem right [TS]

00:13:52   instead of realizing oh my gosh you know [TS]

00:13:55   we're going to be able to finish this [TS]

00:13:56   tour because we're not gonna have money [TS]

00:13:58   based on these gigs that got cancelled [TS]

00:13:59   they can find other gigs or they could [TS]

00:14:01   say well here's here's harriers like [TS]

00:14:03   three options for how to deal with this [TS]

00:14:04   next I think this one is really good and [TS]

00:14:06   I can help you do it and because they're [TS]

00:14:08   not not sitting there being the dumb [TS]

00:14:09   drummer god bless them like that that [TS]

00:14:11   could be somebody whose heads in a [TS]

00:14:12   slightly different area of the business [TS]

00:14:14   well so right now i want to start doing [TS]

00:14:17   a show [TS]

00:14:17   Oh a week here in Seattle [TS]

00:14:22   oh yeah the run of at the rendezvous [TS]

00:14:23   small shall we [TS]

00:14:25   and here's what I need I need somebody [TS]

00:14:26   to call the rendezvous and suggest this [TS]

00:14:28   idea to them thats it thats good test [TS]

00:14:31   that's the first one right and that is a [TS]

00:14:33   job that is not exactly an assistant job [TS]

00:14:36   because you have to call the place with [TS]

00:14:39   a certain amount of proprietary [TS]

00:14:42   arrogance like you have to be able to [TS]

00:14:46   cut you don't call a place like the [TS]

00:14:47   rendezvous which is there like a shitty [TS]

00:14:49   little tiny dive bar and beg them for a [TS]

00:14:54   spot you have to call and say renowned [TS]

00:14:58   international artists of stage and then [TS]

00:15:00   pod John Roderick wants to do a show [TS]

00:15:04   here once a week i'm not saying that you [TS]

00:15:07   guys should be grateful but that might [TS]

00:15:12   be a place to start little gratitude [TS]

00:15:13   that i'm calling you today [TS]

00:15:15   you know like you need to you need to [TS]

00:15:17   set the you need to set the relationship [TS]

00:15:19   up in that the tone in the first phone [TS]

00:15:21   call but i also need this person after [TS]

00:15:25   they've and i'm presuming that the [TS]

00:15:27   rendezvous is going to be thrilled about [TS]

00:15:28   this and they're gonna they're gonna [TS]

00:15:30   agree that they coming coming right in [TS]

00:15:33   the book like everyone else i don't know [TS]

00:15:36   i think the book is gone my big its [TS]

00:15:38   online now [TS]

00:15:39   mm it's all about Peters no but then I [TS]

00:15:42   need somebody to actually sit at the [TS]

00:15:43   door and take the five dollars from [TS]

00:15:46   every person and I New York the arch [TS]

00:15:48   table but work the merch table get the [TS]

00:15:50   get the names down in a in a book that [TS]

00:15:53   is and and run the ticket sales for the [TS]

00:15:56   next show [TS]

00:15:57   so the that's it say it is a [TS]

00:15:59   constellation of skill sets right [TS]

00:16:02   there's the there's the merch table set [TS]

00:16:04   which is one thing and there's the you [TS]

00:16:07   know it's all in the family right so I'm [TS]

00:16:09   looking for somebody and I'm and and two [TS]

00:16:12   if i find this person if i find this [TS]

00:16:14   right person I feel like I have so much [TS]

00:16:19   stuff on the back burners [TS]

00:16:22   that in the next six months i could say [TS]

00:16:25   okay now what about this now i can you [TS]

00:16:28   handle this now what about this can you [TS]

00:16:29   get this going and you're gonna have a [TS]

00:16:31   person could take all that on and it [TS]

00:16:33   would not need to be overwhelming for [TS]

00:16:34   them right and I feel like I feel like [TS]

00:16:37   they could double my income in a year [TS]

00:16:40   just because because that because of all [TS]

00:16:44   the money i leave lying around you it's [TS]

00:16:47   just like Oh would you help me do this [TS]

00:16:49   yes boom and so if they are able to [TS]

00:16:52   double my income in a year i am like I [TS]

00:16:55   would be into paying them a percentage [TS]

00:16:59   of what I make I mean I would be ready [TS]

00:17:01   to start treating them like a manager [TS]

00:17:03   right away because i think the i think [TS]

00:17:08   the the fruits would be right there it [TS]

00:17:12   would be the platter of fruit in pretty [TS]

00:17:16   short order [TS]

00:17:17   um but that said I've dealt with a lot [TS]

00:17:24   of people and the the right person is [TS]

00:17:30   like you say not maybe the person that [TS]

00:17:33   knocks me out in the interview or maybe [TS]

00:17:37   not the you know like that's a it's a [TS]

00:17:39   job you evolve into a night and I really [TS]

00:17:42   you know the problem with the this this [TS]

00:17:46   interview with three people because i'm [TS]

00:17:49   going to do i'm gonna be my dad when I [TS]

00:17:50   walk into that interview i am going to [TS]

00:17:52   instantly try and charm them you know [TS]

00:17:55   that the interview is going to be i'm [TS]

00:17:57   going to act as though it is an audition [TS]

00:18:01   like a Hollywood audition of me I'm [TS]

00:18:03   innocent man walking to be like hello [TS]

00:18:05   nice to meet you swell sit down no [TS]

00:18:08   please make yourself compliments like be [TS]

00:18:10   performing a version of myself for these [TS]

00:18:14   kids [TS]

00:18:15   presumably kids made you know about my [TS]

00:18:18   brother and my dad is a perfect example [TS]

00:18:20   my mom was telling me about there's at [TS]

00:18:23   least one 62-year old Chinese man that [TS]

00:18:26   well that's the thing she said you're so [TS]

00:18:28   awesome [TS]

00:18:29   my mom said your father you're imagining [TS]

00:18:31   22 year old girls with fingerless gloves [TS]

00:18:35   so is sixty-something Chinese man how's [TS]

00:18:37   everything with a green visor that I [TS]

00:18:40   already called the round [TS]

00:18:42   I've already got more coffee coming up [TS]

00:18:44   Mia I know the guy my mom said your [TS]

00:18:48   father had a had throughout her life a [TS]

00:18:51   succession of secretaries that saved his [TS]

00:18:57   life over and over and over again every [TS]

00:19:00   penny he made he made because he had he [TS]

00:19:05   always had a great secretary and she [TS]

00:19:08   always made the phone calls and she [TS]

00:19:10   always as he's rushing out the door [TS]

00:19:13   throwing on his his trench coat in his [TS]

00:19:15   hat they always you know stopped him at [TS]

00:19:19   her desk and said David David I just [TS]

00:19:21   need you to sign this one thing and he [TS]

00:19:24   would go home we are made sign it and [TS]

00:19:26   that piece of paper would be the thing [TS]

00:19:28   that kept the lights on right and what [TS]

00:19:34   when my dad was when he was in his [TS]

00:19:37   seventies he had a secretary who was [TS]

00:19:40   like oh what's your what's your [TS]

00:19:42   retirement plan and my dad said uh-huh [TS]

00:19:47   I don't know um well I've got an Audi i [TS]

00:19:50   could probably sell that uh what else [TS]

00:19:57   and she was like seriously you don't [TS]

00:19:59   have a you know you have no retirement [TS]

00:20:01   he was like uh-oh i'm gonna live forever [TS]

00:20:04   and she in between her other work back [TS]

00:20:13   in an era of like licking stamps [TS]

00:20:16   envelopes she put together that his [TS]

00:20:20   wartime service his time in the [TS]

00:20:24   legislature his time working for the [TS]

00:20:27   Alaska or the first for the federal [TS]

00:20:29   government in Alaska his time working [TS]

00:20:33   for the Democratic Party in Washington [TS]

00:20:35   all this uh he was you know all all of [TS]

00:20:38   his work [TS]

00:20:41   so much of it was government work that [TS]

00:20:43   it when you filled out all the forms it [TS]

00:20:48   added up to a government pension as [TS]

00:20:53   though he had worked for the federal [TS]

00:20:54   government for 45 years and she did all [TS]

00:21:00   this you know she wrote the Veterans [TS]

00:21:03   Administration and asked for his records [TS]

00:21:06   and it turned out that when he first [TS]

00:21:09   enlisted in the Navy when he first [TS]

00:21:12   enlisted in the naval ROTC they spelled [TS]

00:21:15   his name one way and when he joined the [TS]

00:21:16   maybe they spelled his name another way [TS]

00:21:19   and so she had to find those two records [TS]

00:21:22   and write the Department of the Navy and [TS]

00:21:25   get them put together and wrote all [TS]

00:21:29   these letters over the course of five [TS]

00:21:31   years she's just always just constantly [TS]

00:21:33   just sending letters to various [TS]

00:21:36   government agencies and in the end she [TS]

00:21:39   put together his retirement that [TS]

00:21:44   absolutely he I mean had she had it not [TS]

00:21:48   been for her [TS]

00:21:49   my dad would have been living in a [TS]

00:21:52   shopping cart i squared or he would have [TS]

00:21:55   been living in his audi and as it was [TS]

00:21:58   you know he retired and and and you know [TS]

00:22:01   and of course he acted as though her [TS]

00:22:06   government remember you know he like [TS]

00:22:08   didn't he was great things that you're a [TS]

00:22:10   menace amount of initiative synthesis [TS]

00:22:13   and follow through [TS]

00:22:14   yeah the initiative to like be aware [TS]

00:22:16   what's out there synthesize that [TS]

00:22:17   information and then follow through with [TS]

00:22:19   a freaking government agency to make [TS]

00:22:21   sure you get what you need out of it [TS]

00:22:22   yeah and that work that work had to be [TS]

00:22:25   personally gratifying to her in a way [TS]

00:22:27   that people that love spreadsheets you [TS]

00:22:30   know like get the act of tracking and [TS]

00:22:33   researching it's you know it's a [TS]

00:22:35   librarian mentality of like I'm going to [TS]

00:22:37   find this and I know how to write the [TS]

00:22:40   thing and I'm going to get it and then [TS]

00:22:43   when i get it i'm going to put it with [TS]

00:22:44   this other thing you know but also like [TS]

00:22:46   a tremendous amount of love for him [TS]

00:22:50   that she would have spent this time you [TS]

00:22:55   know as well as she could have just been [TS]

00:22:58   punching a clock on this job but she's [TS]

00:23:01   doing this work that's gonna you know [TS]

00:23:03   that that is that pays off for him after [TS]

00:23:06   he's after they've parted ways like [TS]

00:23:08   she's still alive I'm sure she's working [TS]

00:23:11   somewhere maybe she's retired but she [TS]

00:23:13   like did this work on behalf of my dad [TS]

00:23:15   and according to my mom through his [TS]

00:23:17   entire career [TS]

00:23:18   the one thing he knew how to do was hire [TS]

00:23:21   a secretary that would that that could [TS]

00:23:26   run his business and his life and she's [TS]

00:23:28   telling me this I'm like oh fuck it's [TS]

00:23:33   the one thing I need to learn how to do [TS]

00:23:35   right [TS]

00:23:36   I don't need to learn how to call the [TS]

00:23:38   rendezvous I need to learn how to hire a [TS]

00:23:40   secretary [TS]

00:23:44   how'd you come up with the test [TS]

00:23:49   well I was just thinking I mean one idea [TS]

00:23:51   is to have a fairly simple as simple to [TS]

00:23:55   describe task that ends up having unseen [TS]

00:23:58   complexities and then see how they [TS]

00:23:59   handle and I'm thinking here [TS]

00:24:00   higher higher zero number one you don't [TS]

00:24:03   get Jason Finn to pretend to be somebody [TS]

00:24:05   and then have them have to deal with him [TS]

00:24:07   haha so you know there's a your dog [TS]

00:24:13   here's the bird i need you to go and and [TS]

00:24:15   get whatever it is it could be that you [TS]

00:24:17   need new uniforms for the band and he is [TS]

00:24:19   the quote unquote you know not for [TS]

00:24:22   supply guy [TS]

00:24:23   it could be that he runs the rendezvous [TS]

00:24:24   it could be whatever it is but you can [TS]

00:24:26   come up with some kind of a basic [TS]

00:24:27   challenge where he would respond in [TS]

00:24:29   certain inscrutable ways and then you [TS]

00:24:31   see how they handle it [TS]

00:24:32   mm and he could give you a frank you [TS]

00:24:35   know recounting of how it went well that [TS]

00:24:40   you know I that's a good idea and he [TS]

00:24:42   would be he would definitely be a good [TS]

00:24:44   you can you do that for a living it's [TS]

00:24:46   interesting you know as you said that I [TS]

00:24:48   pictured him suddenly with a with a tape [TS]

00:24:50   measure around the neck of his shirt and [TS]

00:24:52   a pair of glasses down the end of his [TS]

00:24:54   nose and I realized that's what he [TS]

00:24:56   actually is jason is actually a tailor [TS]

00:24:59   he's like Taylor that's that that front [TS]

00:25:02   of shop that is really like an OSS I [TS]

00:25:06   like underground huh [TS]

00:25:08   he's the tailor of panama you come in [TS]

00:25:12   you pull back on one of the mannequins [TS]

00:25:14   in a big door opens and there's like a [TS]

00:25:15   cave full of weapons [TS]

00:25:17   well but so but the but the tax that the [TS]

00:25:21   the litmus test what I fear is that that [TS]

00:25:28   I have to pass right attacked the test [TS]

00:25:32   which is like I have a friend who has a [TS]

00:25:34   very very very good relationship with [TS]

00:25:38   his assistant who has now kind of [TS]

00:25:41   transitioned into being his partner and [TS]

00:25:45   when they first started working together [TS]

00:25:48   it was very much in the seat that the [TS]

00:25:51   assistant was very much in an assistant [TS]

00:25:53   role and when and during that time when [TS]

00:25:58   the assistant was still young and [TS]

00:26:00   precocious and wet behind the ears the [TS]

00:26:04   assistant did a lot of things that I as [TS]

00:26:08   a bystander was like this kid is a is a [TS]

00:26:12   unit he's callo this guy's a dingaling [TS]

00:26:17   he's a dingaling and my friend was like [TS]

00:26:19   yeah well he does these things for me so [TS]

00:26:22   whatever and then I was you know but I i [TS]

00:26:27   can never sky can never keep myself from [TS]

00:26:29   giving an unsolicited opinion and so [TS]

00:26:30   repeatedly I said to him in this [TS]

00:26:33   assisted you got to get rid of this guy [TS]

00:26:35   he's just he doesn't reflect well on [TS]

00:26:37   because he's a daily then my friend was [TS]

00:26:41   much more sanguine is like yeah well he [TS]

00:26:45   gets the stuff done so what you know [TS]

00:26:47   doesn't matter to me if I don't I don't [TS]

00:26:50   care if people think he's a tingling and [TS]

00:26:54   there was one particular instance where [TS]

00:26:55   the assistant got drunk shit-faced drunk [TS]

00:26:59   at an event [TS]

00:27:02   and if it if it had been me I would have [TS]

00:27:06   read this kid the riot act the next day [TS]

00:27:09   I would have embarrassed him up and down [TS]

00:27:12   what the hell you think you're doing [TS]

00:27:14   getting drunk in a thing like that you [TS]

00:27:16   know that looks you know I would have [TS]

00:27:18   liked taking it as an opportunity to [TS]

00:27:20   teach this kid a life lesson and it [TS]

00:27:24   would have left a bad taste in [TS]

00:27:25   everybody's mouth and it would have been [TS]

00:27:28   paternalistic and I would have been [TS]

00:27:33   completely justified in doing it but [TS]

00:27:36   what ended up happening is the kid was [TS]

00:27:43   in bear uh in in actual life this actual [TS]

00:27:47   person was embarrassed he be realized on [TS]

00:27:50   his own without being yelled at that he [TS]

00:27:54   needed to get better and he became more [TS]

00:27:59   professional pretty quickly as he grew [TS]

00:28:06   into his job and now he is an eighth now [TS]

00:28:11   he is an incredibly professional useful [TS]

00:28:15   partner and part of that [TS]

00:28:20   self-determination on his part and the [TS]

00:28:25   self actualization of himself in that [TS]

00:28:27   role self-awareness in humility was [TS]

00:28:30   entirely due to the fact that no one [TS]

00:28:32   ever yelled at him and no one ever [TS]

00:28:35   lecture him about why the blah [TS]

00:28:37   he discovered in himself and that's how [TS]

00:28:40   he grew and became a man and i watch [TS]

00:28:44   that happen in this relationship with my [TS]

00:28:46   friend and realize that i would have [TS]

00:28:48   inserted myself into that process right [TS]

00:28:51   as a pedagogue over and over and I would [TS]

00:28:56   have fucked it up [TS]

00:28:57   I would have fucked the kid up i would [TS]

00:28:58   have fucked the relationship up because [TS]

00:29:01   I would have been trying to micromanage [TS]

00:29:02   his transition into adulthood or not [TS]

00:29:06   micromanage but like guide and Shepherd [TS]

00:29:08   and [TS]

00:29:09   mentor you you would have made it all [TS]

00:29:12   about your own emotions instead of what [TS]

00:29:14   that person actually needed in terms of [TS]

00:29:16   personal development [TS]

00:29:17   yeah right this kid got drunk at an [TS]

00:29:18   event so what the next day he was [TS]

00:29:21   embarrassed and he talked to some other [TS]

00:29:24   people about it and they were like yeah [TS]

00:29:26   you were pretty wasted and he was [TS]

00:29:29   embarrassed and when he went and talked [TS]

00:29:33   to his boss the guy who he works for [TS]

00:29:35   black I didn't say anything about it he [TS]

00:29:39   just was like well we get to go where we [TS]

00:29:41   have to get done today and the kid made [TS]

00:29:44   his own move and the you know and the [TS]

00:29:47   boss was the boss character in this role [TS]

00:29:51   was relieved not only of the of the duty [TS]

00:29:56   of all the unhappiness and that is the [TS]

00:30:02   interview that i don't know if i can [TS]

00:30:05   pass route right how do i empower and [TS]

00:30:08   assistance to make mistakes and not you [TS]

00:30:15   know and not my in my own way freak out [TS]

00:30:19   and lose it so your little what antsy [TS]

00:30:22   about how my go today because you want [TS]

00:30:24   to make sure you're up to the task to [TS]

00:30:25   well yeah I mean so everything that's [TS]

00:30:29   happened in the last six months since I [TS]

00:30:31   stopped eating wheat since I went on all [TS]

00:30:36   kale diet since I discovered Scientology [TS]

00:30:39   since Jesus came into my life everything [TS]

00:30:44   that's happened for the last six months [TS]

00:30:45   I have been wondering I've been looking [TS]

00:30:47   at myself and I've been saying is are [TS]

00:30:50   you just in a manic phase you've been [TS]

00:30:55   you've been on this train your whole [TS]

00:30:57   life [TS]

00:30:58   six months on six months off and when [TS]

00:31:00   you are manic you sleep four hours a [TS]

00:31:03   night and you every idea seems great [TS]

00:31:06   and you go out in the yard and you plant [TS]

00:31:08   tulips everywhere and then six months [TS]

00:31:13   later and all turns to shit and you know [TS]

00:31:19   and your yard is just this riot of fun [TS]

00:31:22   pruned tulips and you're just in the [TS]

00:31:27   bathtub like whistling Dixie [TS]

00:31:29   how do I know that I'm not how do i know [TS]

00:31:34   i'm not just setting up a bunch of manic [TS]

00:31:38   like sand castles and I'm gonna get a [TS]

00:31:44   hunky kept his assistant i'm going to [TS]

00:31:45   get all this stuff going on and then I'm [TS]

00:31:48   yeah and and in reality i'm just having [TS]

00:31:50   an episode [TS]

00:31:51   yeah well yeah I wasn't thinking about [TS]

00:31:59   what it is that you really want to do [TS]

00:32:00   your talking about you know it's almost [TS]

00:32:02   like you don't see it being a parent but [TS]

00:32:04   you're looking for an opportunity to get [TS]

00:32:07   some help but also grow in some ways [TS]

00:32:09   like you it in my own words what i would [TS]

00:32:11   say is that you know I've realized that [TS]

00:32:13   I'm not a good manager i would [TS]

00:32:15   theoretically like to be a better [TS]

00:32:16   manager but every time I've tried to do [TS]

00:32:18   anything management-related I failed [TS]

00:32:20   horribly because it's really boring it's [TS]

00:32:22   not fun it's not what i like to do and I [TS]

00:32:25   feel like it's a huge derail from [TS]

00:32:26   everything I should be doing so I do [TS]

00:32:27   nothing instead and then lifestyle back [TS]

00:32:29   burners again but but you know to get [TS]

00:32:31   the right person for this job you need [TS]

00:32:32   somebody who's not just I mean in my [TS]

00:32:34   tiny bit of experience with this my the [TS]

00:32:37   the i could write almost every failure [TS]

00:32:39   down to the fact that i just did not do [TS]

00:32:41   a good job of training and communicating [TS]

00:32:43   andrey communicating and retraining and [TS]

00:32:45   and not correcting but like just showing [TS]

00:32:47   like well more like this like that [TS]

00:32:49   that'sthat's we know it's really simple [TS]

00:32:51   right i mean I somebody if somebody [TS]

00:32:52   working your restaurant and didn't know [TS]

00:32:54   how to cook you and just yell at him all [TS]

00:32:56   the time you would just let them make [TS]

00:32:57   crap it's a not so much salt [TS]

00:32:59   yeah more like this like the right and [TS]

00:33:01   so it fits for what you're really trying [TS]

00:33:02   to work towards which is somebody who's [TS]

00:33:04   on the track to becoming a management or [TS]

00:33:06   partner type person someday [TS]

00:33:09   it requires really requires you to have [TS]

00:33:13   a really so certain kind of personality [TS]

00:33:14   but also to know what it is that you [TS]

00:33:16   want because [TS]

00:33:16   you find somebody who's super organized [TS]

00:33:18   and really likes Excel spreadsheets [TS]

00:33:20   they're gonna they're gonna get really [TS]

00:33:21   frustrated if you're constantly changing [TS]

00:33:23   the game or not answering the phone or [TS]

00:33:25   so that's something that I like it is [TS]

00:33:27   clear i need help but what I need the [TS]

00:33:31   what I need most is that I am helping [TS]

00:33:34   people but I and that is what I don't [TS]

00:33:38   know can I beheld the project is really [TS]

00:33:41   to make you help people can I hire [TS]

00:33:43   somebody to learn to teach me to be [TS]

00:33:45   helpful chance the win for everybody [TS]

00:33:47   it would be if you became more i think [TS]

00:33:49   about it not you at all of us if we all [TS]

00:33:51   became or more helpful [TS]

00:33:54   yeah well this is the thing about about [TS]

00:33:56   your in my program we are trying to help [TS]

00:33:58   people [TS]

00:33:59   yes and we have seen over and over that [TS]

00:34:01   some people are very helpful and some [TS]

00:34:04   people are less helpful [TS]

00:34:06   yeah and it's not going to deter us from [TS]

00:34:09   helping the people who can and should be [TS]

00:34:11   helped but really what we really want is [TS]

00:34:15   to help the people that can't be helped [TS]

00:34:17   oh I think that i think that's that's [TS]

00:34:20   really that is deep in your DNA is to is [TS]

00:34:23   to help us helpful it is I need to I i [TS]

00:34:26   need somewhere inside me i need to help [TS]

00:34:28   the people that cannot be held at jeans [TS]

00:34:30   were done talking and hi I'm realizing i [TS]

00:34:35   am one of those people [TS]

00:34:36   I need to I need to learn to be helped [TS]

00:34:39   the call is coming from inside the John [TS]

00:34:40   that's really something [TS]

00:34:43   cry me Pete so today is gets going to be [TS]

00:34:47   very interesting is gonna be a big day [TS]

00:34:48   I'm gonna go sit in a coffee shop my [TS]

00:34:51   native environment and I'm gonna have [TS]

00:34:53   people who know how to make phone calls [TS]

00:34:55   and uh and turn on computers i'm going [TS]

00:35:00   to have them tell me that there is a [TS]

00:35:03   plan and then i'm going to try and [TS]

00:35:05   figure out what i need to do what do I [TS]

00:35:08   need to do and maybe the answer is [TS]

00:35:11   nothing yet [TS]

00:35:13   you know maybe what I do next is nothing [TS]

00:35:16   yet because you're not ready you're not [TS]

00:35:18   helping enough yet yeah what is [TS]

00:35:19   happening now what's happening is that I [TS]

00:35:21   am watching things unfold and things are [TS]

00:35:25   going to you know like and yet i'm not [TS]

00:35:28   i'm not waiting anymore you know like [TS]

00:35:32   yeah I want this to happen i'm i'm gonna [TS]

00:35:34   go forward posture well so I i am i'm [TS]

00:35:39   not crazy about people who are really [TS]

00:35:42   into Lake tricky interviews and tricky [TS]

00:35:45   questions and you know kobayashi Marie [TS]

00:35:48   situations all those Chinese finger trap [TS]

00:35:50   shiny now if you got a 62 year old [TS]

00:35:53   Chinese man but I don't want to be ping [TS]

00:35:55   pong but you know what you could one [TS]

00:35:57   thing you could say you don't be too [TS]

00:35:58   cute but one thing you could say [TS]

00:35:59   especially if you're interviewing one [TS]

00:36:01   person at a time is to say hey look i'm [TS]

00:36:02   new to this i'm not saying that to avoid [TS]

00:36:05   criticism I'm saying that to ask for [TS]

00:36:07   help [TS]

00:36:07   what are you most worried about and if [TS]

00:36:09   you if we if you took this job [TS]

00:36:11   what do you think would be the biggest [TS]

00:36:11   pain-in-the-ass and dealing with me and [TS]

00:36:13   then how could you help me get better at [TS]

00:36:14   that is how they respond could be kind [TS]

00:36:18   of the instructive you see how honest [TS]

00:36:21   they are you know it's always feel like [TS]

00:36:22   what's your biggest although it's really [TS]

00:36:24   that i'm so excited too generous [TS]

00:36:26   everything that i really don't really [TS]

00:36:30   want to pay attention to how many things [TS]

00:36:31   I truly am quite outstanding at up fault [TS]

00:36:35   i have to admit [TS]

00:36:36   hmm i don't know i don't know but the [TS]

00:36:39   problem is like it maybe the hire three [TS]

00:36:41   people and get them to talk to Jason [TS]

00:36:43   Finn the Panama Taylor maybe that's a [TS]

00:36:45   good step stage two but you need to [TS]

00:36:48   first find your own comfort level you do [TS]

00:36:50   you need to be you need to you know and [TS]

00:36:52   have a coffee shop in your mind and make [TS]

00:36:53   sure that you're comfortable with who [TS]

00:36:54   you're dealing with [TS]

00:36:55   because you don't want to make it a [TS]

00:36:57   thing you don't want this to turn out [TS]

00:36:59   shitty and then you don't want to do it [TS]

00:37:01   again and now you're back in your right [TS]

00:37:03   of tulips [TS]

00:37:04   right right right I that's not what I [TS]

00:37:05   don't nobody wants that nobody benefits [TS]

00:37:07   from that that's not growth i want to [TS]

00:37:09   and and the thing is that part of my [TS]

00:37:14   ambition is that you know this is this [TS]

00:37:18   is one of these middle-aged problems [TS]

00:37:19   when I wake up I wake up now and the [TS]

00:37:22   first thought that comes into my head [TS]

00:37:23   and how is not it's no longer like [TS]

00:37:26   I'm gonna write a rock opera that's [TS]

00:37:27   gonna make every woman in the world see [TS]

00:37:29   how wrong she was first and noble that's [TS]

00:37:35   Nick's first thought that popped into my [TS]

00:37:38   head now is your goodbyes [TS]

00:37:40   you're gonna be said you were mean to me [TS]

00:37:43   that mean anything to you [TS]

00:37:44   all women are going to be said that one [TS]

00:37:48   woman was made to be no the first [TS]

00:37:51   thought that pops into my head now is if [TS]

00:37:53   I don't get these thoughts out of my [TS]

00:37:54   head i will die and they will go to [TS]

00:37:57   their go to my grave with me like no [TS]

00:38:00   pressure [TS]

00:38:01   yeah i have i have seen some shit i have [TS]

00:38:05   seen attack ships on fire off the [TS]

00:38:07   shoulder of Orion that's right and if [TS]

00:38:09   and ears in the race ice cream hot want [TS]

00:38:12   i do not want there's some of that stuff [TS]

00:38:15   I don't want to have lost and that and [TS]

00:38:21   you're saying something kind of [TS]

00:38:22   important here you're saying that you're [TS]

00:38:24   starting to actually take your work more [TS]

00:38:26   seriously you're taking the quotation [TS]

00:38:28   marks off of the art and you want to be [TS]

00:38:29   a fucking gentleman about making some [TS]

00:38:31   stuff but you can't do that as long as [TS]

00:38:33   you got too many tulips on the back [TS]

00:38:34   burner [TS]

00:38:35   well this is the thing about being a [TS]

00:38:36   maker of things i say you know i i'm i'm [TS]

00:38:39   always engaged in this conversation with [TS]

00:38:40   people inside the somebody asked me to [TS]

00:38:43   write an article for Esquire the other [TS]

00:38:45   day they are higher [TS]

00:38:47   [Music] [TS]

00:38:51   they said they said it seems like the [TS]

00:38:59   internet is getting worse [TS]

00:39:00   you seem like just the kind of crank [TS]

00:39:02   that would have an opinion about that [TS]

00:39:03   would you write an article about how the [TS]

00:39:06   Internet is getting worse [TS]

00:39:07   oh boy I said remember wheelhouse you [TS]

00:39:11   know what if there's anything we need we [TS]

00:39:13   need more podcast about comics and more [TS]

00:39:15   articles about what's wrong with the [TS]

00:39:16   internet magazine articles on the on [TS]

00:39:20   esquire.com you take 1 i'll take the [TS]

00:39:22   other haha so i'm writing this thing [TS]

00:39:25   it's that you know I'm just I'm I'm some [TS]

00:39:27   playing the singing saw again [TS]

00:39:30   how do you know there was a talk about [TS]

00:39:36   how the Internet is getting worse and [TS]

00:39:39   now you know like talking about art is [TS]

00:39:41   not making art and you know and I [TS]

00:39:46   realized like you really considering [TS]

00:39:51   writing an article for Esquire magazine [TS]

00:39:54   related to the internet about how [TS]

00:39:56   talking about art is not making art are [TS]

00:39:58   you fucking kidding me [TS]

00:39:59   not only not only am i considering it i [TS]

00:40:03   have done it haha ok but I'll always [TS]

00:40:09   look forward to the hat but i'm thinking [TS]

00:40:12   i'm in civil union I'm like I'm here and [TS]

00:40:16   here i am again what is it that I make [TS]

00:40:19   like what do I make i watch these videos [TS]

00:40:21   online all the time about get to get you [TS]

00:40:24   know like you ego dr. Billy Duffy from [TS]

00:40:26   the cult about his guitar rig and he's [TS]

00:40:29   standing on a darkened stage with some [TS]

00:40:32   guy up holding a microphone Adam and the [TS]

00:40:34   guys like so tell us about your [TS]

00:40:36   pedalboard Billy Duffy was like oh well [TS]

00:40:39   oh that's I got a distortion box over [TS]

00:40:43   here [TS]

00:40:44   it kicks it with his foot minute delay [TS]

00:40:47   pedal and you know Billy Duffy that's [TS]

00:40:49   what Billy Duffy does he plays the [TS]

00:40:51   guitar by what witnesses other cult [TS]

00:40:54   I'm sorry him and you know be talking [TS]

00:40:59   about that little make major scale [TS]

00:41:01   descending things [TS]

00:41:02   doesn't she still thinks oh yeah I could [TS]

00:41:06   die now I know exactly camp and pedals [TS]

00:41:09   Wow and this is one of the chorus [TS]

00:41:11   that's right he uses it rolling they see [TS]

00:41:14   that that's a signature self but you [TS]

00:41:20   know what I could stand up there [TS]

00:41:21   somebody pointed the camera me I could [TS]

00:41:22   stand up there and tell you about my [TS]

00:41:24   pedalboard and they would be and and I [TS]

00:41:26   would happily do it but there are other [TS]

00:41:29   things I want to tell people about to [TS]

00:41:30   and how do i do it and does it is what i [TS]

00:41:36   do is what I have to say next [TS]

00:41:38   does it rise to the level of art or is [TS]

00:41:42   it crash [TS]

00:41:43   left or is it is it just like art [TS]

00:41:47   buchwald love is it gene Shalit Larry [TS]

00:41:52   King if it isn't Larry King like all of [TS]

00:41:54   these guys I mean there are there are [TS]

00:41:56   guys who have a who have made a made a [TS]

00:41:59   life for themselves being sort of in [TS]

00:42:02   this pundit class and nothing bae have [TS]

00:42:05   done really will survive the test of [TS]

00:42:10   time [TS]

00:42:11   right i mean gene shallots writing about [TS]

00:42:16   film is not going to survive 200 years [TS]

00:42:23   but it was it was a valid life for a man [TS]

00:42:29   you know it used his skills like there [TS]

00:42:33   are all kinds of pundits and talkers and [TS]

00:42:38   thinkers of their time of their moment [TS]

00:42:41   whose work does not last but they were [TS]

00:42:45   still important and valid in their era [TS]

00:42:50   and guys like dave berry or exactly what [TS]

00:42:55   i was thinking of Dave Barry right like [TS]

00:42:57   will they read Avebury 200 years from [TS]

00:43:02   now who knows like Shalom I like a lake [TS]

00:43:06   him people read him now as a person [TS]

00:43:11   yeah he's like the he was the the Jewish [TS]

00:43:17   Mark Twain honey keep but-but-but-but [TS]

00:43:21   bigger better like a not better but but [TS]

00:43:24   he was he was the first guy to write [TS]

00:43:28   colloquially in Yiddish in a bit but but [TS]

00:43:33   treating it like it was literature [TS]

00:43:35   literature and yet he he wrote fiddler [TS]

00:43:38   on the roof but not the musical but like [TS]

00:43:42   he wrote the story of teryan incredibly [TS]

00:43:47   influential writer but also a vernacular [TS]

00:43:50   writer like a like a a guy riding in his [TS]

00:43:55   time of his time [TS]

00:43:56   I'm not trying to he's not trying to be [TS]

00:44:00   melville he was trying to just right for [TS]

00:44:03   his people but his work rose to the [TS]

00:44:06   level of you know it transcended its its [TS]

00:44:11   humble craft dave barry pj o'rourke are [TS]

00:44:16   these guys going to 200 years from now [TS]

00:44:18   are people gonna be like Dave Barry was [TS]

00:44:21   the 20th century writer that best [TS]

00:44:23   captured the sound of the street and the [TS]

00:44:28   and the thoughts of the of the average [TS]

00:44:32   god maybe who knows nobody liked [TS]

00:44:35   Melville and is in his time really you [TS]

00:44:41   know nobody read moby-dick until after [TS]

00:44:42   he was dead and i think the day he died [TS]

00:44:47   if you had said Moby Dick is going to be [TS]

00:44:48   required reading in in western legs [TS]

00:44:52   still think I still think it's a prank [TS]

00:44:53   nobody would believe that many years I [TS]

00:44:57   just can't believe it [TS]

00:44:59   have you read Billy Budd it is a prank I [TS]

00:45:02   moby-dick my god haha i mean i guess if [TS]

00:45:06   you see college called postmodern it [TS]

00:45:09   makes it more interesting Mitchell at [TS]

00:45:10   the plate let me understand something so [TS]

00:45:12   let me get to the core of this it's [TS]

00:45:14   partly that if I understand you're [TS]

00:45:15   saying that you're the question that [TS]

00:45:17   you're asking is you got people who are [TS]

00:45:19   like whether you like them or not and [TS]

00:45:21   indisputably primary creators of the [TS]

00:45:24   primary culture so you know the Beatles [TS]

00:45:26   wrote and recorded the songs though [TS]

00:45:29   people listen to for a long time you [TS]

00:45:31   know Mozart you know wrote this music [TS]

00:45:33   James Joyce with these novels or [TS]

00:45:35   whatever whatever your example that is [TS]

00:45:36   now somebody who is a famous critic of [TS]

00:45:39   games choice might do great work but [TS]

00:45:43   will they be remembered as well as the [TS]

00:45:45   personal upon his source material in the [TS]

00:45:47   same way that something on Twitter [TS]

00:45:48   cracking jokes about lost its not the [TS]

00:45:50   same as the person who made lost right [TS]

00:45:52   do people read secondary and tertiary [TS]

00:45:54   secondary and tertiary levels where is [TS]

00:45:57   it about SAS which is kind of it [TS]

00:45:59   no a different thing everybody can put [TS]

00:46:02   the name montagne but like that people [TS]

00:46:04   actually reading him [TS]

00:46:05   yeah but people are reading Pepe's [TS]

00:46:07   Diaries yeah they put on Twitter [TS]

00:46:10   so you've got to put it on Twitter yeah [TS]

00:46:12   but this is the problem with when you're [TS]

00:46:14   a young man when you're young artists [TS]

00:46:16   you do not want to be anything less than [TS]

00:46:20   one of the one of the great one of the [TS]

00:46:25   great my primary primary creators though [TS]

00:46:27   primary creator economical crisis that a [TS]

00:46:30   silly distinction I think there's a [TS]

00:46:31   difference I think like I hear you in my [TS]

00:46:33   head anyway saying well writing about [TS]

00:46:35   the internet for Esquire is that the [TS]

00:46:37   same as writing shapes right performing [TS]

00:46:40   shapes those are those are one of those [TS]

00:46:41   is undeniably like a-a-a-a tempo love [TS]

00:46:45   primary culture making another one is [TS]

00:46:48   you know writing about stuff right but [TS]

00:46:50   as I as I approached middle-aged mean [TS]

00:46:53   one of the things i have reckoned with [TS]

00:46:54   as a creative person is mi like does my [TS]

00:46:58   work justify itself or I mean it [TS]

00:47:04   mmm there are lots of Bam's and am I [TS]

00:47:10   meant to do this or that [TS]

00:47:13   am I meant to be a primary creator of [TS]

00:47:16   like and and I and I believe I am but [TS]

00:47:21   what is that next thing that I want to [TS]

00:47:24   do I don't think it is writing essays [TS]

00:47:26   for Esquire about the internet that is a [TS]

00:47:29   thing that i am that i do because [TS]

00:47:31   somebody sends me an email and I go and [TS]

00:47:34   I stand I say and I don't have a manager [TS]

00:47:36   so I go yeah sure [TS]

00:47:38   alright that and you know [TS]

00:47:41   well sure that that's you know that's [TS]

00:47:43   like it pays pretty well yeah yeah there [TS]

00:47:46   are three major magazines and have [TS]

00:47:47   sometimes been pretty surprised by by [TS]

00:47:49   which you pay for those things well and [TS]

00:47:51   and and so so as we get as we got closer [TS]

00:47:54   to january first you know I have this [TS]

00:47:56   amount of money that I that I have this [TS]

00:47:58   arbitrary amount of money as I decided a [TS]

00:48:00   few years ago I had to make every year [TS]

00:48:01   and as at identify and it's just it's [TS]

00:48:05   completely arbitrary if I if I make it [TS]

00:48:07   or don't it doesn't matter if I if I [TS]

00:48:11   consistently don't make that much money [TS]

00:48:13   for like five years i'm gonna be in [TS]

00:48:15   trouble right but the amount the target [TS]

00:48:18   is like a fairly imaginary and as I was [TS]

00:48:22   as we were getting close to [TS]

00:48:24   you out to New Year's I was like $2,000 [TS]

00:48:28   short of its of this imaginary amount [TS]

00:48:32   and I was like it's January 29 i'm not [TS]

00:48:38   going to get it i'm not going to make my [TS]

00:48:40   mom I'm not gonna make my target [TS]

00:48:41   december twenty I'm sorry just December [TS]

00:48:44   29 i'm not going to make it and it [TS]

00:48:48   wasn't a big deal [TS]

00:48:49   I that and I had a couple of people who [TS]

00:48:51   were like oh I owe you that you know [TS]

00:48:53   1,500 bucks i'll get that to you don't [TS]

00:48:55   have fresh money you needed you need to [TS]

00:48:57   get a little bit of fresh real primary [TS]

00:48:59   money that's right and so I agreed to do [TS]

00:49:01   this I agreed to write another thing for [TS]

00:49:03   somebody i agree to United creates all [TS]

00:49:06   these things at the end of the year and [TS]

00:49:08   then january thirty first I got an email [TS]

00:49:10   from my publishers who are like up [TS]

00:49:14   settling up at the end of the year [TS]

00:49:16   uh we forgot you know we are you 2,500 [TS]

00:49:18   bucks or whatever [TS]

00:49:19   boom and I was like hey Barbra trickery [TS]

00:49:23   yeah I made the arbitrary amount but [TS]

00:49:27   anyway back to the back to the other [TS]

00:49:29   thing like yeah I cannot think about my [TS]

00:49:36   place in the in the on the in the [TS]

00:49:41   library right i just have to make the [TS]

00:49:44   next thing and I have to make it with [TS]

00:49:46   passion I have to make the thing that [TS]

00:49:48   I'm here and I hope you I hope you [TS]

00:49:50   believe that John because i think that [TS]

00:49:51   would be very good advice for you to [TS]

00:49:53   take [TS]

00:49:53   yeah yeah I just don't anybody library [TS]

00:49:56   library i'll take care of itself you [TS]

00:49:57   make us and if you make enough stuff [TS]

00:49:58   it'll show up in the library don't worry [TS]

00:50:00   and and what happened the only time i [TS]

00:50:02   spend worry about the library is when [TS]

00:50:04   i'm not actually making stuff right if [TS]

00:50:06   I'm Faulkner was a problem drinker when [TS]

00:50:09   he wasn't writing at if you're making [TS]

00:50:13   stuff you're nothing about where it goes [TS]

00:50:14   you're just making it just you know you [TS]

00:50:16   where it goes is just like get it out of [TS]

00:50:19   in front of me so I can make the next [TS]

00:50:21   thing [TS]

00:50:22   so this is why you need to hire mr. Lee [TS]

00:50:25   need to hire mr. Lee and he's gonna you [TS]

00:50:29   know what he's going to sit next to me [TS]

00:50:30   and every time I pull up pull a page out [TS]

00:50:33   of the typewriter like James ce qu'elle [TS]

00:50:35   etait what that credit sequence at the [TS]

00:50:38   end you have to get cheers sitter boosts [TS]

00:50:43   it who gets dog [TS]

00:50:45   the guy with the little green visor is [TS]

00:50:48   going to take the piece of paper and [TS]

00:50:49   he's gonna split on the stack and he's [TS]

00:50:53   gonna say I'm about the United I'm [TS]

00:50:55   taking this somewhere or maybe you know [TS]

00:50:57   whatever i could he could be lying to me [TS]

00:50:59   he could be just burning them in the [TS]

00:51:01   yard point is you're getting stuff done [TS]

00:51:03   the point of the fuck is nothing now so [TS]

00:51:06   the other day I in the in the pursuit of [TS]

00:51:10   this new idea who which could maybe a [TS]

00:51:13   manic episode the entire thing that John [TS]

00:51:16   time and tide you say not even exist [TS]

00:51:19   yes they are all be i may be sitting in [TS]

00:51:23   her you're telling me that you may not [TS]

00:51:25   actually have a podcast in which you [TS]

00:51:27   discuss your feelings of unwell pneus [TS]

00:51:29   about whether you're creating art by [TS]

00:51:31   having written and syr piece about [TS]

00:51:33   whether the M internet is getting worse [TS]

00:51:36   yeah I could be the character and [TS]

00:51:38   metallic was one look at you could be [TS]

00:51:43   fine at that's taking up in a VA [TS]

00:51:47   hospital imagining this whole life John [TS]

00:51:52   Roderick got his gun but I so the other [TS]

00:51:55   day I bought a macbook air [TS]

00:51:57   alright we have so much to talk about [TS]

00:51:59   and you've got to go hire somebody [TS]

00:52:01   well sorry so you what did you get the [TS]

00:52:03   extra ramp so I got the extra ram cake [TS]

00:52:05   but what is amazing to me about this is [TS]

00:52:09   that McIntosh and I don't think this is [TS]

00:52:11   just something that's happening in me I [TS]

00:52:13   thought this computer and something has [TS]

00:52:17   happened Macintosh Apple has made this [TS]

00:52:22   they have made this device which is a [TS]

00:52:25   cultural device they have made a thing [TS]

00:52:27   that made a box now for so long that [TS]

00:52:31   that purports to do these things for us [TS]

00:52:34   that is this [TS]

00:52:36   magicbox ok and i have bought enough of [TS]

00:52:39   these magic boxes over the years and [TS]

00:52:42   have turned them on each time with it [TS]

00:52:45   with it like Dewey and fizzles hope and [TS]

00:52:48   expectations i am going to make up I'm [TS]

00:52:51   gonna make a film of all of my photos [TS]

00:52:55   and i'm going to put it into my calendar [TS]

00:52:58   and I'm gonna stand me added added to my [TS]

00:53:00   contacts writing that square it's it's [TS]

00:53:04   and this is going to streamline my [TS]

00:53:05   process and i'm just going to sit here [TS]

00:53:07   it's like it's like the coffee maker or [TS]

00:53:08   the automatic light this is going to be [TS]

00:53:10   the thing that changes everything right [TS]

00:53:11   that's not you too Liz gonna fix it all [TS]

00:53:13   and what would it was amazing as i [TS]

00:53:15   bought this macbook air and I came home [TS]

00:53:16   and I I threw the box with the computer [TS]

00:53:20   and it unopened on the table and I went [TS]

00:53:24   about the rest of my day and the next [TS]

00:53:28   day my lady friend was over here and she [TS]

00:53:32   said I can't believe you haven't you [TS]

00:53:34   bought a new laptop and you haven't even [TS]

00:53:35   opened it and I looked over I was like [TS]

00:53:38   oh yeah yeah [TS]

00:53:42   oh how open that today probably and i [TS]

00:53:48   was astonished to discover that i had no [TS]

00:53:50   excitement that I was not in the least [TS]

00:53:55   bit thrilled about my new computer that [TS]

00:53:58   i knew i needed it and i bought it so [TS]

00:54:02   that i could take it places and right on [TS]

00:54:04   it but opening it and discovering the [TS]

00:54:08   new operating system and syncing my [TS]

00:54:14   contacts [TS]

00:54:16   uploading my data to the cloud it all [TS]

00:54:23   like the the thrill was gone and the [TS]

00:54:28   tape it to fix some some good examples [TS]

00:54:30   of that examples [TS]

00:54:31   those are good examples of things that [TS]

00:54:33   they're not so great in front ease when [TS]

00:54:35   i open my mail when I finally did open [TS]

00:54:38   the box and I turned on the computer and [TS]

00:54:41   it went boom be in here and the lights [TS]

00:54:44   come on and here's the computer and look [TS]

00:54:46   at it and I go oh wow awesome and I [TS]

00:54:49   touch it with my hand [TS]

00:54:51   the first thing that pops up is a the [TS]

00:54:55   itunes let your Apple ID know the itunes [TS]

00:54:59   agreement has changed please click [TS]

00:55:03   accept [TS]

00:55:04   please click click agree and then the [TS]

00:55:07   second thing it was like you need to [TS]

00:55:08   download newts new software you need to [TS]

00:55:11   you know update your update your OS so [TS]

00:55:14   the thing that came in the box didn't [TS]

00:55:16   even have the it wasn't it needed to be [TS]

00:55:18   updated and the first three hours I [TS]

00:55:23   spent with the new machine was just [TS]

00:55:24   doing administrative exit clicking i [TS]

00:55:29   agree on 25 because every single piece [TS]

00:55:34   of software that needed to be updated [TS]

00:55:35   also i needed to click a new Apple [TS]

00:55:39   agreement yes and your password and [TS]

00:55:41   enter my password and I was just like [TS]

00:55:44   they have finally done it they have they [TS]

00:55:48   have made this creativity box that is [TS]

00:55:52   supposed to the end had it not only [TS]

00:55:56   supposed to but has successfully freed [TS]

00:55:58   us all from the drudgery of having to [TS]

00:56:01   get up in the morning and chop wood and [TS]

00:56:04   go to the bathroom and an outdoor toilet [TS]

00:56:05   and iron are pillowcases it's all gone [TS]

00:56:09   now and because we're all artists and [TS]

00:56:11   geniuses and we all have this amazing [TS]

00:56:14   powerful box that can they can collate [TS]

00:56:17   our work and they have made it now into [TS]

00:56:22   a drudgery [TS]

00:56:23   and buying this computer I was just like [TS]

00:56:26   I've just gotta go out and chop some [TS]

00:56:30   wood to heat up the stove in the Privy [TS]

00:56:34   so that i can take a shit on a wooden [TS]

00:56:38   toilet seat happened i was so it was [TS]

00:56:45   just like what's what next [TS]

00:56:50   how now brown cow yeah I'm sorry John I [TS]

00:56:56   i wish i wish i could have something to [TS]

00:56:58   say about making it easier to line up of [TS]

00:57:01   you know I think once i get my contacts [TS]

00:57:03   synced yeah I'll be a lot happier it's [TS]

00:57:05   gonna be a lot easier for you yeah that [TS]

00:57:07   looks it'll take an hour to don't worry [TS]

00:57:09   you can be done with that note i'm in [TS]

00:57:11   the process with my wife has had 14 [TS]

00:57:14   versions of every contact for three [TS]

00:57:15   years no matter what we've ever done to [TS]

00:57:18   fix that she comes right back [TS]

00:57:20   she gets 14-14 ecology accounted [TS]

00:57:23   accounted plus i have my guy I know [TS]

00:57:26   named Jason santa maria is in my [TS]

00:57:28   contacts as Jason Santa Santa Santa [TS]

00:57:30   Santa Santa Santa Santa stand aside from [TS]

00:57:32   marie apt because it just works the best [TS]

00:57:36   part was I went so I'm or so this [TS]

00:57:38   computer you know didn't give me an [TS]

00:57:39   option it was going to upgrade the 10.9 [TS]

00:57:41   or whatever but I went the computer i'm [TS]

00:57:43   talking to you on now I was like oh now [TS]

00:57:46   got a new computer i'm going to sync it [TS]

00:57:48   with my old computer eating you that you [TS]

00:57:51   didn't start by pulling that over but I [TS]

00:57:53   can't because my old computer is running [TS]

00:57:56   ready 10.6 still make that no they don't [TS]

00:58:01   and so I went online and I was like okay [TS]

00:58:04   I'm going to upgrade to 10.9 i guess and [TS]

00:58:07   before I click on the button i started [TS]

00:58:09   reading the reviews 1 star 1 star 1 star [TS]

00:58:12   this is a carbon joanna is re reviews [TS]

00:58:15   garbage oh is garbage Oh as this is [TS]

00:58:18   gonna ruin your life and the problem the [TS]

00:58:20   thing is I have post-traumatic stress [TS]

00:58:22   disorder because i have upgraded you [TS]

00:58:25   know on my little iPhone or whatever I [TS]

00:58:27   put the new OS on there multiple times [TS]

00:58:29   and every time it just turns it just [TS]

00:58:31   breaks that [TS]

00:58:32   never crash it's haha [TS]

00:58:35   I've never had so many crashes on any [TS]

00:58:40   phone i've ever owned [TS]

00:58:42   then I have in the last month and a half [TS]

00:58:43   M it wakes up to get that when he wakes [TS]

00:58:46   up and just get a little white apple [TS]

00:58:47   because you use your phone a lot [TS]

00:58:50   I mean you really use it right i used [TS]

00:58:52   the shit out of my phone and my phone is [TS]

00:58:54   so there is a ghost in the machine now [TS]

00:58:57   that was so what happened was I was I [TS]

00:59:00   was on grand bahama as you do earlier [TS]

00:59:04   this year without a message board [TS]

00:59:06   no reds and it's an island i was on it i [TS]

00:59:09   was on one of the Bahama Island got it [TS]

00:59:11   and I was riding a scooter around the [TS]

00:59:14   island as you do and i was on that very [TS]

00:59:18   far end of the island and I got caught [TS]

00:59:22   up in a Caribbean rainstorm and I was [TS]

00:59:28   wearing white linen pants and a white [TS]

00:59:32   linen church which look smashing [TS]

00:59:36   when they're dry but when they're wet [TS]

00:59:39   you basically look like a mozzarella so [TS]

00:59:49   wet and so I'm riding through his you [TS]

00:59:56   know i'm riding through this this the [TS]

00:59:58   beautiful tropical [TS]

00:59:58   beautiful tropical [TS]

01:00:00   paradise just didn't get close get [TS]

01:00:03   longer and bigger well yeah Leslie just [TS]

01:00:05   like Lady cheese you can treat you can [TS]

01:00:09   see every dimple annual mon ha and you [TS]

01:00:15   know when i'm almost i'm driving fast [TS]

01:00:17   because i'm on this i'm on the scooter [TS]

01:00:19   and looks like that's what type scooter [TS]

01:00:20   yeah look at this yeah and i have my [TS]

01:00:23   phone in my pocket and that amount of [TS]

01:00:27   wet a bottom aenean linen pocket wet is [TS]

01:00:32   a lot of wet it's a lot of wet and it [TS]

01:00:34   was enough wet it's not like I dropped [TS]

01:00:36   it in the in the toilet like my phone [TS]

01:00:38   that i would consider this to be normal [TS]

01:00:40   use but the phone i know for a fact [TS]

01:00:43   whatever that little button is inside [TS]

01:00:45   that turns colors yet they can tell [TS]

01:00:47   that's really got really wet again they [TS]

01:00:49   can tell you about that you know about [TS]

01:00:51   the yeah and then they just shake their [TS]

01:00:53   head at you and they're like there's [TS]

01:00:54   nothing we can do [TS]

01:00:56   and so that's the thing is like friction [TS]

01:00:59   on the frame jam flipping on the plots I [TS]

01:01:03   mean every time I turn it on the first [TS]

01:01:05   thing it does is it types for TJ's and [TS]

01:01:07   k's in a you know just like Skid i'll [TS]

01:01:19   put it up just like jkjkjkjk and I have [TS]

01:01:23   to reset it [TS]