Roderick on the Line

Ep. 93: "Between the Monkey Bars"

 

  [Music] [TS]

  hello John I'm Merlin has going so early [TS]

  yep I never know I I am wait until i see [TS]

  you somewhere online in the morning [TS]

  before contacting you [TS]

  oh you're one of the only people left [TS]

  who is actually watching what other [TS]

  people are doing online so when I never [TS]

  see you online [TS]

  I but that's one LS and your little [TS]

  bloop give a google alert set up for [TS]

  when I tweet in the morning i do it here [TS]

  on the android phone hot rod Beck is [TS]

  valid alleble for things [TS]

  hello-o the great thing about our [TS]

  podcast is it's a professional it's a [TS]

  professional sounding podcasts and [TS]

  professionally organized podcast me in [TS]

  every sense except the the money part [TS]

  right and inventory and we organize part [TS]

  we put yes that's true with those two [TS]

  notable exceptions [TS]

  this is a very professional thing we [TS]

  have going here yeah it's it's not a [TS]

  website remember what having a website [TS]

  meant you were like officially you [TS]

  really arrived [TS]

  do I ever i remember when having I [TS]

  remember when getting a website was a [TS]

  forty thousand dollar proposition [TS]

  oh and you have like a flash animated [TS]

  bear holding it holding a bunch of [TS]

  balloons child but the long winters you [TS]

  should do that that would be sweet like [TS]

  it with the bear look like you little [TS]

  bear with the balloons kind of going up [TS]

  and down animated my eyelashes may not [TS]

  view the internet I can't believe it's [TS]

  still around [TS]

  you know it barely is not what God [TS]

  alright John was the internet barely [TS]

  what's going on [TS]

  haha i don't even care I don't even care [TS]

  to talk about the internet I I feel like [TS]

  I feel like they're bigger fish to fry [TS]

  atta boy in the world there are bigger [TS]

  fish to fry [TS]

  bears love fish I was thinking the other [TS]

  day i was thinking the other day I am [TS]

  got you know what i'm going to i'm [TS]

  changing i'm changing my tune [TS]

  I'm changing course I realized that I I [TS]

  now I'm going to work the rest of my [TS]

  life that in order to pursue the the end [TS]

  goal of having the US Congress be [TS]

  composed entirely of women huh i think [TS]

  if we had if we had an all-female [TS]

  because there have been there were many [TS]

  many many decades where it was all men [TS]

  right and yet patty Murray to patty [TS]

  Murray an amazing senator shirokino and [TS]

  tennis shoes at her she's the mom and [TS]

  tennis shoes that's right Maria Cantwell [TS]

  the other Washington State the junior [TS]

  washington state senator also a great a [TS]

  great lady I feel like if the Congress [TS]

  if the House and Senate were all women [TS]

  the country would be run better and [TS]

  there would be it would just in in [TS]

  general I mean picture for a second [TS]

  in general the quality of life in [TS]

  America would skyrocket [TS]

  I don't think there's I don't think [TS]

  there's any you can't make a case [TS]

  against an all-female Congress through [TS]

  and I'm not you know half of them will [TS]

  be Republicans let's just say that right [TS]

  off the truck off the top half of them [TS]

  are going to be you know you're gonna be [TS]

  Phyllis shapely style [TS]

  well when I think we're looking at cases [TS]

  right but uh but I think in general all [TS]

  of the whole Congress all women maybe [TS]

  maybe like a couple of token guys and I [TS]

  think that I think to take the United [TS]

  States will only benefit so that's my [TS]

  new project through which you do this [TS]

  via Democratic means or will there be a [TS]

  coup d'├ętat that has to be it has to be [TS]

  Democratic in order to keep the flavor [TS]

  of america and I had a little Democratic [TS]

  for sure and and the honest honest to [TS]

  god fact is that i cannot like in order [TS]

  to achieve this goal i actually have to [TS]

  like I it's not going to work if if [TS]

  there's some guy behind it [TS]

  yeah things that's also so what what I [TS]

  have to do what it is [TS]

  is basically as I have to voluntarily [TS]

  step aside and not run for Congress not [TS]

  run for the Senate in order to make [TS]

  space for a more qualified woman ladies [TS]

  first [TS]

  that's right here truly are a gentleman [TS]

  so i'm i'm making this sacrifice kind of [TS]

  in with some ways what would be the [TS]

  ultimate sacrifice in order and will not [TS]

  remember not not running for Congress [TS]

  without your ultimate sacrifice not [TS]

  running for Congress it for me would be [TS]

  the ultimate sacrifice all the way from [TS]

  but some gave all I decided to not do [TS]

  something about it yeah love but I have [TS]

  a mouth full of peanut butter [TS]

  I made cookies this morning [TS]

  first first took you have eaten in a [TS]

  long time and it's a cookie that i found [TS]

  it when I was cleaning out the van and I [TS]

  was like I don't want to throw this away [TS]

  i don't know how old it is but I don't [TS]

  want to throw it away it seems like a [TS]

  waste of a good cookie so I kept it [TS]

  around for a couple of weeks in a jar [TS]

  and then I was like this morning i don't [TS]

  know i was feeling vulnerable i ate the [TS]

  cookie and I don't know what happens [TS]

  when cookie is like six months old [TS]

  whether the salt in it kind of condenses [TS]

  I think it can sit up on its own [TS]

  maybe maybe through salt from the air [TS]

  huh [TS]

  it was a very salty cookie was it out in [TS]

  the open John was just a van cookie just [TS]

  kind of out out know it's there wasn't [TS]

  like it's not it's not like it felt [TS]

  between the seat cushions no it wasn't [TS]

  it was in a cookie bag who but it was [TS]

  the it was a solitary cookie in a cookie [TS]

  bag maybe it's just the Christmas [TS]

  talking but that seems very sad and [TS]

  graduated [TS]

  yeah I didn't and it was good but boy [TS]

  salty and I have to watch my salt intake [TS]

  now why is that well you know i I'm I'm [TS]

  aging so fast [TS]

  alright i went to the doctor the other [TS]

  day first time in a long time and the [TS]

  the the nurse [TS]

  weighs and measures me and I swear to [TS]

  you I have no idea if this is even [TS]

  possible but i have lost an inch in [TS]

  height now I don't vertically [TS]

  yeah I don't have osteoporosis I'm up my [TS]

  spine is not collapsing I don't see [TS]

  house your house John you're just [TS]

  settling in its it was extremely [TS]

  unsettling i was there i was there 10 [TS]

  see the doctor about a thing that was [TS]

  but deviling me but as soon as this dose [TS]

  gives me this this diagnosis of being [TS]

  one inch shorter than I ever was [TS]

  I now I didn't care about whatever the [TS]

  problem was that got me to the doctor [TS]

  and all i wanted to talk about was how [TS]

  that's possible [TS]

  the doctor guy was sitting in the [TS]

  waiting for sitting in the examination [TS]

  room and the doctor comes in and said so [TS]

  tell me about what brought you in here [TS]

  today and I said I don't want to talk [TS]

  about that anymore i want to talk about [TS]

  your uh your height at your height scale [TS]

  and how it is broken and so she measured [TS]

  me again [TS]

  actually it was a nurse practitioner [TS]

  probably pulled in the big guns [TS]

  she measured me again and she was like [TS]

  sorry and always tell you [TS]

  oh my god John that must be really a [TS]

  disquieting i I don't I there i have no [TS]

  context for it because like for example [TS]

  I there are people in my family that I [TS]

  guess I don't associate process but you [TS]

  know when you get old you get smaller [TS]

  yes I don't claim to understand it it [TS]

  happened to my dad he was not that he [TS]

  was not the tower towering man he was in [TS]

  his in his later years he had lost an [TS]

  inch or two but I am NOT not an old man [TS]

  who is shrinking in his shoes I don't [TS]

  know if you don't get a second opinion [TS]

  I mean something others i got a second [TS]

  opinion from a nurse practitioner I'm [TS]

  very disquieted that's very disquieting [TS]

  John that that's that you're right that [TS]

  should be something where you know let's [TS]

  kick this other thing down the lane a [TS]

  little bit and talk about my height [TS]

  yeah it's yeah right high blood pressure [TS]

  can wait [TS]

  yeah overworked and not for the time [TS]

  yeah hot see all these things it's [TS]

  usually worse for your blood pressure [TS]

  than knowing you're getting short [TS]

  thank you [TS]

  I was washing my hands at the sink the [TS]

  other day of my back went out [TS]

  I just need to lay on the floor [TS]

  I'll be fine no no you go ahead I'll [TS]

  catch up [TS]

  it's the worst I need to use the toilet [TS]

  anyway yeah you know it's not die at I [TS]

  it's not that I need to start working [TS]

  out in order to get lean so that i can [TS]

  look good at the beach or whatever i'm [TS]

  not just start working out just to [TS]

  survive and not become elephant have to [TS]

  start working out just so that I can [TS]

  wash my hands at the sink and not [TS]

  collapse into a pile of nervous yes we [TS]

  need compensatory and washing muscles [TS]

  the thing is maybe maybe you can you get [TS]

  a standing desk [TS]

  yeah fuck you get one of those those [TS]

  backwards chairs where your kind of [TS]

  kneeling all down like a yoga ball that [TS]

  was hit on a yoga ball [TS]

  yeah yeah I think you should get a [TS]

  lectern or a pulpit but if you do [TS]

  whatever your work is if you did that [TS]

  from a standing position but instead of [TS]

  one of those hipster standing desks or a [TS]

  treadmill desk you can do it from an [TS]

  actual pulpit your genuine pulpit and [TS]

  maybe then get a really giant yoga ball [TS]

  like that tall yoga ball that seemed [TS]

  like it was very hard to balance on with [TS]

  their condition [TS]

  well I wouldn't actually sit on top of [TS]

  it i was just going to lean back on you [TS]

  ok so the thing is is it really was it [TS]

  really clicked a full inch the chips are [TS]

  ya an inch in height i was always [TS]

  six-foot-three endless and a smidge six [TS]

  six foot three and an 8 or something and [TS]

  I'm sitting at the sitting here in the [TS]

  guy says how tall are you 64 3 and he [TS]

  says yeah you know it up against the [TS]

  wall and he measures me and I'm six foot [TS]

  two and then ate well [TS]

  six-foot-two is the height of a normal [TS]

  guy that's a normal guys I know you're [TS]

  officially not special anymore [TS]

  six foot three ways you is someone who's [TS]

  tall six-foot-three is extraordinary [TS]

  six-foot-three is switching to this [TS]

  special category of people that [TS]

  legitimately can walk around [TS]

  like like normal rules don't apply [TS]

  uh-huh they can sort of just just lumber [TS]

  into a room and expect that special [TS]

  compensation will be made six sue is [TS]

  like having 22,000 frequent flyer miles [TS]

  yeah it's it's like just got ever it's [TS]

  like hey welcome to take a seat [TS]

  take it take a seat anywhere over there [TS]

  like what would take a seat [TS]

  what are you talking about I'm six foot [TS]

  three no I'm sorry sir you're [TS]

  six-foot-two take a seat anywhere and [TS]

  that's the way they'll start talking to [TS]

  you and nothing like what's already [TS]

  happening and I just didn't realize I [TS]

  had lost this inch all you have a shaman [TS]

  line moment it's all flashing back by [TS]

  and you're realizing everything makes [TS]

  the hell why why did I end up riding the [TS]

  bus the other day us because I'm a [TS]

  normal height person that I have the [TS]

  dignity is just standing around I was [TS]

  like oh it's really long way up the hill [TS]

  maybe I should take the bus [TS]

  maybe it's all hollering for this is [TS]

  really this is very upsetting especially [TS]

  around the holidays to learn something [TS]

  like that [TS]

  did your clothes fit different and [TS]

  because the things you've been losing [TS]

  weight so you might not have noticed an [TS]

  inch of Los well and so that's what I'm [TS]

  one I'm kind of wondering did I'll in [TS]

  losing all this weight that I lose some [TS]

  fat in my spine probably had a fatty an [TS]

  OB spine I had like fat in my knees and [TS]

  my joints and it was making me an inch [TS]

  taller but that doesn't explain what I [TS]

  was I mean I reached the I reached my my [TS]

  normal height my actual height of six [TS]

  foot three and a smidge in my eighties [TS]

  and I had no there were no there's no [TS]

  fat in between my joints then we're all [TS]

  set goals and carbohydrates back then i [TS]

  have to ask the second when they read [TS]

  measured i'm curious because I know if [TS]

  it were me I would be doing stuff to try [TS]

  and be taller [TS]

  no no I didn't you know I didn't want to [TS]

  I didn't want to game the system i [TS]

  wanted to be I wanted to be an actual [TS]

  measurement of my height but now I'm [TS]

  wondering whether I shouldn't have stood [TS]

  up to little taller you never did that [TS]

  before never had to know that's the [TS]

  thing you just you stand up there and [TS]

  you're slouch a little bit just like [TS]

  yeah I don't give a fuck i can even [TS]

  slouch a little bit and i'm still over 6 [TS]

  30 but not now [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  now i'm going to be one of these guys [TS]

  that straining you can see his neck [TS]

  muscles straining when he's getting [TS]

  major to the doctor but that's not [TS]

  that's not what I'm yeah because it's [TS]

  like it's the difference between like [TS]

  they take a seat and he won't be [TS]

  carefully made throughout your back you [TS]

  don't stretch too much now was this [TS]

  concerning to the medical staff at this [TS]

  facility know they were laughing they're [TS]

  just little shocking because they're [TS]

  they're all they're all normal they're [TS]

  all really normal people they're all in [TS]

  there five it's a form of medical shot [TS]

  in friday i'm glad to see that come down [TS]

  and yeah that's right anything this is [TS]

  the thing i don't think there's anybody [TS]

  who doesn't want to see a six foot three [TS]

  guys to get told he's 62 harrison [TS]

  bergeron it's all over again this is [TS]

  sickening a six foot six guy is going to [TS]

  be happy to see me cut down an inch [TS]

  because haha fuck me right i mean like i [TS]

  was like you know Shawn Nelson was never [TS]

  impressed by my 643 pneus being [TS]

  six-foot-five and that's not counting [TS]

  the hair [TS]

  he's fine to see me get knocked down an [TS]

  inch every guy that's five foot eleven [TS]

  can't wait to see an inch lopped off of [TS]

  me [TS]

  there is no no one has any sympathy I i [TS]

  can think of two people that I saw you [TS]

  playing a bandwidth in the last few [TS]

  weeks that are really happy to turn in [TS]

  shorter and about Sean's what about I'm [TS]

  so I'm I'm really I'm really like I'm [TS]

  and I'm i'm annoyed because I feel like [TS]

  I feel like it's probably a calibration [TS]

  problem who that that what happened was [TS]

  the the floor of the hospital rose up an [TS]

  inch relative to the walls and nobody [TS]

  was nobody has checked it now you should [TS]

  you should definitely go someplace else [TS]

  I mean testing twice in that same know [TS]

  what if that's a tainted facility like [TS]

  you say maybe they've got maybe they got [TS]

  some structural issues you know maybe [TS]

  it's some kind of metric thing you [TS]

  should definitely get retested somewhere [TS]

  i don't i don't want to go get tested [TS]

  and like a drug store or something like [TS]

  that because then it's done everybody [TS]

  that standing around just people walking [TS]

  around buying pretty peanut brittle [TS]

  yeah but it's not trying to sell you [TS]

  stuff you had John Corbett is talking to [TS]

  over the over the PA that that I like [TS]

  that click kelly clarkson song by the [TS]

  way I i think i might have to disagree [TS]

  with you on this one you like which [TS]

  kelly you know [TS]

  like that one song about all i want is [TS]

  you under the underneath the tree you [TS]

  don't like that song you know I'm [TS]

  telling you sex and Christmas have no [TS]

  business being in the same room [TS]

  well I I no wait a minute aren't you one [TS]

  of those people that likes likes a [TS]

  Christmas porn see I have a strong [TS]

  feeling on Christmas porn I'm very much [TS]

  against it [TS]

  what would you describe as Christmas [TS]

  being any anyporn that has a Christmas [TS]

  element i think if you have intercourse [TS]

  with the lady in a santa hat that's [TS]

  definitely in like the pictures of that [TS]

  I don't care for you don't like pictures [TS]

  of people having sex with the where the [TS]

  woman is in a santa hat that's that [TS]

  covers so much of what's out there in [TS]

  the world that I wouldn't want to just [TS]

  reject it out of hand i just right I can [TS]

  take the backlash right was I know it's [TS]

  the tech it's very hot normative what [TS]

  about asian girl in santa hat [TS]

  okay well eaten Santa have but I'm gonna [TS]

  not gonna touch it not going to get a [TS]

  little and the problem is you can't have [TS]

  Christmas an hour later you have this [TS]

  guy over here we got the soup haha [TS]

  that's like says do it not being not be [TS]

  that is that is really now I could see [TS]

  this happening to you I i don't want to [TS]

  sound device if I could see this [TS]

  happening to you when you get to be [TS]

  about another 10 years older [TS]

  I think that with the weights I'm gonna [TS]

  be five foot eight here in a little no [TS]

  no no no what I'm trying to say is i [TS]

  think i think they've you have [TS]

  legitimately lost an inch i think it's [TS]

  just it's there's gotta be something [TS]

  wrong that does not that does not i [TS]

  don't know that's a lie that's a lot of [TS]

  inch that's exactly prime of my life [TS]

  when I'm out [TS]

  you know what i was doing the other day [TS]

  was out shopping for four-by-fours look [TS]

  at you now guy doesn't go buy a new [TS]

  four-by-four just to consecrate affected [TS]

  his floor [TS]

  you sound like someone interacts have [TS]

  this hooked or so what I'm not racing [TS]

  cars are sipping [TS]

  I and so huh [TS]

  but the the staff when I got done [TS]

  laughing and professionally they were [TS]

  not worried that this was that you were [TS]

  getting soft bones or something they [TS]

  gave every impression of not believing [TS]

  that I had ever been six through that is [TS]

  calling [TS]

  they were just like oh well hmm so now [TS]

  you also takes a little i can also [TS]

  selling an old man who lies about his [TS]

  past [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like okay well let's [TS]

  see it's a it's not likely that you lost [TS]

  an inch in height so the only [TS]

  explanation is that you are either lying [TS]

  about your height as a grown man or that [TS]

  you have never known your height right [TS]

  and at some point in your teen years [TS]

  developed a fantasy of what your actual [TS]

  height was and no matter what people [TS]

  told you though this whole time you just [TS]

  ignored it and now all of a sudden for [TS]

  whatever reason your ears are open and [TS]

  you're being told the truth I don't like [TS]

  that neither of those things none of [TS]

  these things are possible the only [TS]

  possibility is that the floor of the [TS]

  hospital is wrong that the floor of the [TS]

  hospital is skewed relative to the walls [TS]

  and i think i think probably it's either [TS]

  the floor has risen because there is [TS]

  some kind of water the water table is [TS]

  rising under the hospital or the walls [TS]

  of the hospital have sunk and the floor [TS]

  has remained the same was an old [TS]

  facility it is ok what's it's probably [TS]

  breathing you know it's probably it [TS]

  expands and contracts an inch give or [TS]

  take [TS]

  that's right whoo all right let's table [TS]

  this okay [TS]

  asian gal yeah [TS]

  yep yep I mean you know we we go to [TS]

  great lengths to not talk about porn on [TS]

  this on this website I I don't have [TS]

  about great length but he sure has come [TS]

  up a lot for somebody's trying that hard [TS]

  because nobody likes to talk about it [TS]

  now but a but it's you know it's out [TS]

  there it fills the it fills the the [TS]

  tubes that make up the internet yeah [TS]

  it's clogging the tubes a lot of [TS]

  different things out there [TS]

  yeah that's for sure well and I don't [TS]

  want to get into your your health [TS]

  otherwise but are you feeling feeling [TS]

  okay with able to help you with your [TS]

  with the condition that you had no I [TS]

  have a I have a I have a lingering a [TS]

  lingering on rightness ok ok thank you [TS]

  for putting that I don't want to edit [TS]

  the show anymore by the way I can't I [TS]

  can't do it again it did you get it did [TS]

  you get angry emails about know about [TS]

  gardening my daughter's name it it just [TS]

  took me a really long time I did you [TS]

  know you know one of the great things [TS]

  about Roderick on the line is that it [TS]

  requires very little work all question [TS]

  if you script it well enough you don't [TS]

  have to do as much editing exactly with [TS]

  the rehearsals and who were already on [TS]

  page 4 of this 10-page script so you [TS]

  still have to go back a second here [TS]

  started well here's the thing was like [TS]

  38 line this is the thing about about [TS]

  medicine [TS]

  I you know I've been over this round and [TS]

  round but did you read the other day [TS]

  that the that the doctor who popularized [TS]

  the diagnosis of ADHD is now coming out [TS]

  saying that ADHD is being over diagnosed [TS]

  by a factor of 10 in the American people [TS]

  yep and he doesn't believe that it [TS]

  doesn't believe that any of those people [TS]

  have it filled by the pharmaceutical [TS]

  industry that's right put it by the drug [TS]

  companies it's been a crazy couple weeks [TS]

  in turns out medical literature there [TS]

  was the ADHD thing was in was Atlantic [TS]

  New York Times somewhere that there is [TS]

  the the letter to the letter basically [TS]

  from the esteem physicians about how [TS]

  vitamin supplements do nothing but harm [TS]

  oh yeah yeah I sighs turns out someone [TS]

  this week about a guy who was taking [TS]

  some kind of green tea extract to lose [TS]

  weight and he almost lost his liver [TS]

  oh yeah this is the problem this is what [TS]

  everybody thinks I'm a nut because I'm [TS]

  not crazy about generic drugs [TS]

  yes and and so if I had to try and in my [TS]

  own hands fisted non-expert way say what [TS]

  my problem with all these things are is [TS]

  just because it has the point 0 0 0 1 [TS]

  percent of this active ingredient I mean [TS]

  you can't catch it in there besides that [TS]

  who knows what else is in that stuff [TS]

  right [TS]

  I mean you know you think the idea of [TS]

  somebody making a generic drugs and [TS]

  they're gonna get the like this [TS]

  high-quality filler they can find for [TS]

  that anyway there's cata saltpeter that [TS]

  explains a lot [TS]

  maybe a percent saltpeter 2% actors my [TS]

  last inch and I definitely some people [TS]

  really do that that has a lot of [TS]

  mythology around saltpeter akihiro [TS]

  haven't you having never been out that [TS]

  out that's something we're having never [TS]

  been to Catholic school I have no idea [TS]

  about the efficacy of saltpeter as an [TS]

  erection reducer about prisons in the [TS]

  Army I was never been in the Army I've [TS]

  never been in prison in the army and I [TS]

  have never been to prison let's just say [TS]

  not present is not jail i think a lot of [TS]

  persons not that it's okay and then [TS]

  there's the other one is a CHD you got [TS]

  vitamins and what was the other one [TS]

  about antibacterial too much [TS]

  antibacterial stuff these are all ADHD i [TS]

  don't know i got some opinion about that [TS]

  but the other 2i have pretty strong [TS]

  feelings about too much antibacterial [TS]

  stuff out [TS]

  oh my god by but I mean there should be [TS]

  no antibacterial stuff except in [TS]

  conditions where bacteria is the actual [TS]

  problem [TS]

  yeah if you have a wound yeah right a [TS]

  wound if you are if you are in a field [TS]

  hospital in the somme in 1918 an [TS]

  antibacterial would it really be an [TS]

  advantage that's true but if you are if [TS]

  you are a housewife and you are cleaning [TS]

  your kitchen you do not need any [TS]

  antibacterial anything or your or your [TS]

  between bars on the jungle gym [TS]

  I mean these little kids 3 stars would [TS]

  be an empty space [TS]

  ooh you're an empty space between Xena's [TS]

  antibacterial paradox [TS]

  listen I went to the emergency room in [TS]

  yreka california and i said i haveI have [TS]

  a problem and I want some i want your [TS]

  you helping and they gave me the the [TS]

  doctor was a smug Northern California ER [TS]

  doctor he was a smirking doctor who [TS]

  probably went to medical school in [TS]

  grenada this is up in Reagan country [TS]

  right this is my god this is the actual [TS]

  real actual Northern California not some [TS]

  some hobo middling northern this is the [TS]

  actual like almost up where you live [TS]

  no this is yeah this is where this is [TS]

  the part of California where when you go [TS]

  to get gas [TS]

  everything is duck dynasty branded like [TS]

  it's you know duck dynasty brand motor [TS]

  oil duck dynasty brand coffee sweetener [TS]

  duck dynasty is everywhere up there [TS]

  people love it [TS]

  we went to a black bear diner for dinner [TS]

  and a family of like 10 people which was [TS]

  there were three dads three-mile the [TS]

  kiss that strapon be hurts 10 kids and [TS]

  they were all of them I swear to you and [TS]

  they're all like young there wasn't a [TS]

  person at the table that was older than [TS]

  I was they were all in their thirties [TS]

  your late twenties early thirties every [TS]

  single person moms and dads and kids all [TS]

  in camo huh like and not matching camo [TS]

  either let me they're self-conscious if [TS]

  you don't wanna be seen [TS]

  well but it was snowing at the time and [TS]

  so they're they're like Vietnam era [TS]

  jungle camo oh I hate when I wear the [TS]

  wrong camo there were and there were [TS]

  mixed mismatched cameras there were some [TS]

  of those cameras which were photo print [TS]

  camos as opposed to like garment prints [TS]

  like LG like you'd use to cover up like [TS]

  a gun behind that you would have on like [TS]

  netting that kind that the the camo [TS]

  technology has really evolved it's all [TS]

  digital now I thought all computers [TS]

  expressed its digital its digital cam [TS]

  camera which I can kind of like the the [TS]

  square camos I can kind of [TS]

  initially a nintendo right but these [TS]

  cameras that are actual Prince of [TS]

  pictures of leaves and then are like [TS]

  somehow spraying fixed onto close I feel [TS]

  like oh no but in any case so i go into [TS]

  the emergency room and the doctor gives [TS]

  me he's like oh well it's clearly this [TS]

  although it could be that here's a [TS]

  prescription and I said well if it's [TS]

  clearly this although it could be that [TS]

  what is this prescription for is it for [TS]

  this or that or is it for the space [TS]

  between the bars [TS]

  mm like what kind of prescription is [TS]

  this is this just like is this just an [TS]

  ionic investigating and about it he gave [TS]

  me an antibiotic off and that and it was [TS]

  it was it felt to me like he had put [TS]

  plaster of Paris into a fire [TS]

  extinguisher and was just like here's [TS]

  what we'll do things like meditated [TS]

  doing novena it's like so what is for ya [TS]

  thank you what is it for it is a [TS]

  antibiotic for a thing that he does not [TS]

  know what it is and so because this [TS]

  issue was causing me you know some [TS]

  psychic discomfort let's say I against [TS]

  my against every second cock isn't it my [TS]

  second caucus is shriveling up like a [TS]

  naughty i have met and it is accounting [TS]

  for a loss in height but the flavor is [TS]

  something that happens it not only hurts [TS]

  the credibility of your medical [TS]

  relationship but it but it doesn't make [TS]

  you feel any better to go i'm not sure [TS]

  what it is but just in case it's [TS]

  something that I don't understand you [TS]

  better [TS]

  better take some medicine right so I so [TS]

  I i take this i take this drug for a [TS]

  week my problem does not improve so I go [TS]

  to another doctor back here in Seattle [TS]

  and I bring the empty pill bottle and i [TS]

  said i went to a doctor he gave me these [TS]

  pills [TS]

  it did not do anything I'd really rather [TS]

  talk about how it is I could have lost [TS]

  an inch in height but while I'm here [TS]

  can you tell me what this is that he [TS]

  gave me why it didn't work and what is [TS]

  actually the problem and the nurse [TS]

  practitioner was like oh i see why he [TS]

  gave you that he probably thought it was [TS]

  this [TS]

  but i think it's probably this and I'm [TS]

  going to give you this pill at which [TS]

  point everything I think about the [TS]

  medical profession in the world is [TS]

  confirmed because right now the car that [TS]

  I Drive that is producing a kind of [TS]

  high-pitched whine in the transmission [TS]

  and I know although i could not do the [TS]

  work myself I I know pretty much every [TS]

  part that goes into a car and I have a [TS]

  kind of idea about what is making this [TS]

  sound and if i took it into a guy he [TS]

  would listen to it and he would probably [TS]

  have a kind of idea about what it is [TS]

  maybe it's this maybe it's that put put [TS]

  a little stp oil treatment in your gas [TS]

  or whatever I mean he he's not going to [TS]

  break open the transmission he's only [TS]

  good there's only a couple of things [TS]

  he's going to do to treat the problem [TS]

  and this is a car made by he made by [TS]

  humans and we were there are books that [TS]

  have every part will laid out now human [TS]

  being with all of their many many parts [TS]

  that they that we do not understand i'm [TS]

  just about the pumps and valves these [TS]

  doctors are just throwing pills at it [TS]

  like it's some kind of like it's a dark [TS]

  game [TS]

  none of it's working it's just making me [TS]

  matter and then I remember a year and a [TS]

  half ago the doctor who was throwing [TS]

  mind pills at me he was throwing little [TS]

  blue pills that we're going to improve [TS]

  my mood by blocking my bettas it by [TS]

  blocking the serotonin reuptake [TS]

  inhibitors [TS]

  no he wasn't blocking them hey w- yes [TS]

  they were [TS]

  stay where he was he was blocking the [TS]

  reuptake of serotonin [TS]

  and I'm just I'm so infuriated none of [TS]

  these people know anything they did you [TS]

  know what I went to school just as long [TS]

  as they did that maybe I wasn't that [TS]

  time maybe I wasn't like you know I [TS]

  wasn't taking labs but the reality is i [TS]

  would happily prescribe stuff to be I i [TS]

  don't think it was into my thirties that [TS]

  I ever finished a course of the [TS]

  prescribed antibiotics you were one of [TS]

  those guys and I'm gonna do that through [TS]

  and then dump dump the rest of the [TS]

  middle river when they would say like oh [TS]

  yeah I put it right into the toilets and [TS]

  get into the aquifer but yeah well they [TS]

  but they would say back then remember [TS]

  you got to take all of these and I [TS]

  always thought that was like okay well [TS]

  yeah whatever but if I'm feeling better [TS]

  if I don't have the earache anymore and [TS]

  so I mean it's like it's like a friend [TS]

  of mine a friend of mine has i should [TS]

  mention the word I i would like what [TS]

  like what the vaccine stuff like i have [TS]

  a friend whose kid it doesn't have like [TS]

  phony-baloney vaccine things like he [TS]

  actually has allergies that will make [TS]

  him very very sick with certain kinds [TS]

  the killing basically if you take [TS]

  certain vaccines so it's really [TS]

  important that other people have [TS]

  vaccines because it love to give this [TS]

  kid vaccines but they can't [TS]

  and now I feel like today it's like that [TS]

  with antibiotics were like people let's [TS]

  all work together to make our immune [TS]

  system stronger [TS]

  let's let's not do things to take our [TS]

  little bugs to the gym let's let's let's [TS]

  all really take this a little bit more [TS]

  seriously see and this seems like this [TS]

  seems like the type of thing that an [TS]

  all-female Congress would address which [TS]

  part the whole thing the whole concept [TS]

  of working together as some kind of hot [TS]

  porn thing are you actually talking [TS]

  about the body politic that would be a [TS]

  great great film your body politic no I [TS]

  feel like did you ever see the movie a [TS]

  we're a demi moore was a Navy SEAL you [TS]

  love that movie [TS]

  GI jane GI jane and do you remember who [TS]

  played the senator the southern senator [TS]

  I don't you don't you don't remember I [TS]

  don't know if our side [TS]

  uh outlet gal who was married to a guy [TS]

  you might have heard of me Mel Brooks Oh [TS]

  mrs. Robinson and bancroft bankrupt [TS]

  she's terrific [TS]

  she's she's terrific and you know I [TS]

  wanted to when I met mel brooks I said [TS]

  in mel brooks i said at one point you [TS]

  and he got it did I did I did I did meet [TS]

  Mel Brooks and I said no and I'm kinda [TS]

  what you know we have been two weeks we [TS]

  talked for a while and then he was [TS]

  talking to you now we talked for a while [TS]

  now and I talked we talked on several [TS]

  occasions over the course of a couple of [TS]

  days and at one point you stand there [TS]

  he's talking to Richard Lewis and i was [TS]

  i was kinda turn into dick Cavett's [TS]

  after kind of ring did cabin was there [TS]

  oh yeah I had a couple Jetson i was i [TS]

  was standing there and I was like I [TS]

  really want to say something to mel [TS]

  brooks about Anne Bancroft because i'm a [TS]

  huge and bancroft Finn and I know he was [TS]

  too because it was married to her for [TS]

  all those years I always got the feeling [TS]

  that their relationship was a pretty [TS]

  good thing i thought it was too I really [TS]

  admired and I wanted to say that but I [TS]

  didn't know she has she's only been dead [TS]

  not that long but who is a little creepy [TS]

  I didn't want to be creepy but at one [TS]

  point you know I'm kind of standing [TS]

  there and he's talking and we're just [TS]

  stand around and I was like you know I [TS]

  just want to say I really admired your [TS]

  wife and she seemed like a nice lady and [TS]

  he like turn it directed his attention [TS]

  toward me and he liked accepted the [TS]

  remark and you know and said thank you [TS]

  but i felt like i had crossed on cross [TS]

  the line and i was like i should have [TS]

  just kept that to myself [TS]

  it's hard to know who's on the other [TS]

  hand like I could very much be see that [TS]

  going either way I could definitely see [TS]

  no matter what I could definitely see [TS]

  him giving you as you say throwing the [TS]

  shape like basically saying like okay [TS]

  well thank you now we're done with this [TS]

  part of the conversation [TS]

  no matter what his reaction was I could [TS]

  also see that being something that's [TS]

  always nice to hear you know anyone to [TS]

  get famous their stuff that's still [TS]

  always nice to hear [TS]

  yeah and you know who knows whether he [TS]

  he took that away and was like that was [TS]

  nice but you know he didn't he didn't [TS]

  want to sit and talk to me about her [TS]

  which I understand yeah yeah so you [TS]

  think she should have been in the [TS]

  Congress well so that you don't so that [TS]

  the role she plays in jail Johnny [TS]

  politic it is a you know she's like a [TS]

  crusty realpolitik southern accent [TS]

  admitted you know clearly like a [TS]

  Democrat who's playing who's playing [TS]

  both sides and Demi Moore is this is [TS]

  trapped in the middle she's between the [TS]

  monkey bars and and I feel like yeah [TS]

  right that I mean that is a character [TS]

  that i would like to see duplicated and [TS]

  made real bella abzug eggs of the world [TS]

  like I understand which is a congress [TS]

  you would like to see the Congress [TS]

  filled with anne bancroft you would like [TS]

  to see a lot more than a hand a handful [TS]

  of people like that character [TS]

  well yeah or the actual and bancroft be [TS]

  nice wouldn't she have made a great [TS]

  politician you know another another good [TS]

  lady wife Joanne Woodward she's a nice [TS]

  wife i thought if i had met if I had the [TS]

  chance to to meet Paul Newman I would [TS]

  have been very tempted to say something [TS]

  similar to what you said developer right [TS]

  exactly used to you have you you appear [TS]

  to have had the kind of relationship [TS]

  that is very inspiring to me [TS]

  yeah there are not very many people who [TS]

  can say I was married to an amazing [TS]

  person for 60 plus years or whatever [TS]

  yeah but and when you see those events [TS]

  you see those those instances where it's [TS]

  like yeah right you know you probably [TS]

  had your hard times but wow what a what [TS]

  a pain [TS]

  there was a coupling that whole idea [TS]

  that we are that we are halves of a [TS]

  whole that we are incomplete without our [TS]

  other was an idea that was not made [TS]

  clear to me firsthand but when i see it [TS]

  manifest in the world like it's it's [TS]

  appealing it's appealing at a distance [TS]

  la an excuse me and absolutely is and [TS]

  the other thing is that I think that can [TS]

  be made more Universal less creepy by [TS]

  saying there are a lot of people who may [TS]

  not realize in retrospect that there was [TS]

  a another half to their whole until they [TS]

  meet that person it isn't like everybody [TS]

  should sit around and feel bad that they [TS]

  haven't found the joanne woodward yet [TS]

  they're there but there are people out [TS]

  there who clearly get a gestalt out of [TS]

  relationship that other people don't get [TS]

  but I feel like that of the idea that [TS]

  that you just haven't met your other [TS]

  half [TS]

  yeah there's a terrible idea it's [TS]

  horrible it's one of those kind of all [TS]

  the crackpot romantic mythology's that [TS]

  that's when it's really corrosive that [TS]

  is it makes me so mad when I when I met [TS]

  the lady that that wrote the book Eat [TS]

  Pray Love yeah I i was i was really [TS]

  matters like your TED talk specifically [TS]

  mad at her already because she wrote [TS]

  that book [TS]

  yeah and then when I talked to her a [TS]

  little bit of your buddies now all times [TS]

  with her right away that repels when I [TS]

  realized that she was also some pretty [TS]

  smart lady with you it may be matter [TS]

  yeah I know and then I like tried to [TS]

  rape her over the coals her about her [TS]

  dumb book just never gotten that that [TS]

  sold millions of copies and she she did [TS]

  not she did not flinch at me raking over [TS]

  the coals in fact she just you know she [TS]

  just Heisman me she she she blew me off [TS]

  and it may be that Highsmith yeah and [TS]

  now i'm super mad about it [TS]

  eat pray love how do you get to that [TS]

  side of you know what it is its limits [TS]

  the antibiotic soap of books [TS]

  okay um I'd like to get back to the body [TS]

  politic i want to tell you about a comic [TS]

  call y the last man that you should read [TS]

  but i also want to know how you thought [TS]

  that would turn out well which park [TS]

  confronting and forgetting her name now [TS]

  but uh yeah whatever yeah I know her [TS]

  name but yeah she said she had talked [TS]

  great TED talk super good talker and and [TS]

  and you know very smart lady she's [TS]

  written several books not you thought [TS]

  she was going to like the mirror that [TS]

  she was not going to shoot you know what [TS]

  you're right [TS]

  no I just wanted to I just want to have [TS]

  my day in court was with pill that [TS]

  Elizabeth Gilbert she seems great i'll [TS]

  just want to have my day in court i just [TS]

  want to I just wanted to say for the [TS]

  record you're be your book has as many [TS]

  as increased the the has increased the [TS]

  amount of free-ranging bio manner in [TS]

  women's minds still significantly [TS]

  uh-huh the ones that are around meal so [TS]

  glad when the sentences / lives may hang [TS]

  in the balance [TS]

  but no she she didn't she was just like [TS]

  she didn't even he didn't even stop [TS]

  eating the shrimp from the from the ice [TS]

  tray after she prayed the shrimp and [TS]

  love the shrimp up I didn't even get to [TS]

  the second page of my pieces ever got to [TS]

  pretty it was already she was already [TS]

  moving on to other better conversations [TS]

  at this party look it's Charlie friends [TS]

  yeah so y the last man i just mentioned [TS]

  in passing is there is a comic you [TS]

  should read it's a it's pretty good it's [TS]

  about this the last man on earth why is [TS]

  his name and he's the last man on earth [TS]

  and so he wakes up one day and there's [TS]

  nobody women's very good comment one [TS]

  less than one third base it's very good [TS]

  written by Brian kalyan who does saga [TS]

  which is another comic you know rate [TS]

  well I will I will happily read it on [TS]

  the 172nd first trade okay and I you [TS]

  know I replaced my copy of the other [TS]

  thing to meet with with a new one [TS]

  yeah not because my coffee maker was [TS]

  broken but because i got an ornery and [TS]

  spiteful because i found because i saw a [TS]

  coffee maker that had more features and [TS]

  my old coffee maker had no features its [TS]

  featureless it was just all it did was [TS]

  make coffee at poorly everybody that [TS]

  came to my house was like that's your [TS]

  coffee maker i generally it had the [TS]

  feeling of being something you picked up [TS]

  at a walgreens on the way home [TS]

  yeah john colins I it was either [TS]

  Jonathan or his wife who said you have a [TS]

  blade grinder and not a burger grinder [TS]

  encourage difference the beans John you [TS]

  even live how do you live [TS]

  it's just it's it's a copy maker that [TS]

  you wouldn't use a tan am eating it's [TS]

  got a great was a white as a way to know [TS]

  was black but had a green room vibe [TS]

  yeah it was too shitty even for an a a [TS]

  meeting and I'll and then I saw this [TS]

  coffee maker i was at some place and [TS]

  this thing had like it was 15 cup [TS]

  capacity and it had a timer and you can [TS]

  admit and you could wake yourself up in [TS]

  the morning with with freshly brewed [TS]

  coffee and I was like wow it was one of [TS]

  these aspirational moments where I [TS]

  thought that's going to change my life [TS]

  this is a bit of convenience that I [TS]

  could actually use yeah I'm gonna get [TS]

  one of those lights that comes on a [TS]

  timer in the morning and it's a full UV [TS]

  spectrum light and it's going to it's [TS]

  going to wake me up in the morning with [TS]

  the light of the Rising LED and then my [TS]

  coffee makers going to go on it's gonna [TS]

  fill the house with the smell freshly [TS]

  brewed coffee and i am going to get up [TS]

  in the morning and i'm going to do 200 [TS]

  push-ups right [TS]

  Wow never write from eight o'clock in [TS]

  the morning until eleven and then i'm [TS]

  going to go to the gym and then i'm [TS]

  going to go to the climbing wall so this [TS]

  was but this was set up this would be [TS]

  the first domino that's right setting [TS]

  off a series of events and it isn't it [TS]

  isn't simply to say that you would never [TS]

  have done all this push-ups before but [TS]

  this is this could be the thing that [TS]

  really gets the dominance movie this is [TS]

  it and print and pretty soon I'm gonna [TS]

  be standing in a park with an easel [TS]

  wearing a Panama hat and doing [TS]

  watercolors because i have so much time [TS]

  to pursue all my dreams we start here [TS]

  full height of 6 with I'm gonna be I'm [TS]

  gonna be six foot four because i'll be [TS]

  standing up so tall with pride because I [TS]

  got going and so i bought this coffee [TS]

  maker and i set it up [TS]

  well first of all what i did was i left [TS]

  it in the box for like four months and [TS]

  use my old coffee maker but I set it up [TS]

  and now I i I've only used the timer [TS]

  setting once it was too complicated to [TS]

  scroll through all the menus to figure [TS]

  out how to do it regularly and this [TS]

  coffee maker every one of its features [TS]

  comes with a corresponding bug so it has [TS]

  a gold filter instead of a paper filter [TS]

  i'll throw that out that's going what [TS]

  that means is that every one of my [TS]

  coffee cups has like grounds in the [TS]

  bottom like I'm in Turkey island and [TS]

  they're awful a clean like he wants to [TS]

  be sitting there spraying out a gold [TS]

  filters that's the thing i use twice as [TS]

  much water as i used to use because i [TS]

  have to clean this gold filter and if [TS]

  the if the water bucket isn't seated in [TS]

  the grommet properly then it won't turn [TS]

  on and the Bandit beeps 20 times less [TS]

  time to write after that he scaled yeah [TS]

  what I wake up in the morning and the [TS]

  prospect of making coffee with this [TS]

  thing but it makes me to roll over and [TS]

  go back to sleep [TS]

  it's just created anxiety John I'm not [TS]

  painting watercolors I'm not going up [TS]

  animal [TS]

  hi down to 5 11 it's infuriating you [TS]

  know I because i bought this thing [TS]

  thinking like I also have one of those [TS]

  lights that comes on in the morning that [TS]

  is supposed to wake me up with full [TS]

  spectrum labs members in the color [TS]

  television with a remote haha a Merlin I [TS]

  don't hurt television i hear they went [TS]

  and built the skyscraper seven stories [TS]

  high [TS]

  everything's up to date in Kansas City [TS]

  yeah yeah I don't know the television is [TS]

  this something you don't even know I [TS]

  don't know I don't tell me there's only [TS]

  one there's only one name you ever need [TS]

  to give a takeout place and that is Bob [TS]

  there's only one coffee maker you ever [TS]

  need to own which is the one that we [TS]

  have which is this one cuisinart up a [TS]

  little bit more you one of these a year [TS]

  every year or two and so it's all the [TS]

  coffee filter coffee maker you need when [TS]

  you buy a new coffeemaker every year [TS]

  well we used to really go through them [TS]

  now less so now the proud of you go [TS]

  through a coffee man let me restate me I [TS]

  put that poorly what we used to do was [TS]

  say fuck it we'll just get whatever at [TS]

  whatever you got three is or so whatever [TS]

  whatever [TS]

  yeah you get whatever whatever and [TS]

  finally we popped for I think that it's [TS]

  like 40 60 bucks something like that [TS]

  this one cuisinart DC dash something so [TS]

  that's what everybody owns its kind of [TS]

  slightly retro-looking its got like a [TS]

  metal front thing and its really it's at [TS]

  me it's like all the features you need a [TS]

  coffee maker one place and I'm telling [TS]

  you this because I think it's very [TS]

  difficult especially with akash [TS]

  especially things like TVs could be with [TS]

  computers with whatever it is like it's [TS]

  so hard to find the right balance of [TS]

  that seeming convenience that will [TS]

  enable you to write and do watercolors I [TS]

  was sourcing the complexity like keep a [TS]

  blog where they would review new gear [TS]

  and tech stuff and tell you which one is [TS]

  the best [TS]

  there's only one site you need to go to [TS]

  for that actually this is it gizmodo [TS]

  help wire cutter they have a wonder [TS]

  cutter you told me about that's exactly [TS]

  one paragraph based on research this is [TS]

  the one you should buy thank you [TS]

  that's exactly what i want i just added [TS]

  to $1,500 TV tamayo amazon wish list is [TS]

  my friend John siracusa spent months and [TS]

  months researching it and i just added [TS]

  that one [TS]

  well so we just did an ad for wire [TS]

  cutter on our podcast why don't they [TS]

  sponsor us a little bit [TS]

  sometimes with this weekend i think wire [TS]

  cutter can see why ya with my bed [TS]

  Gilbert we should retro actively go to [TS]

  them and say listen you're already [TS]

  sponsoring our back cuts that give us [TS]

  both $1,500 TVs will call it a wash [TS]

  I i think we call it a wash I think they [TS]

  just wouldn't call it anything [TS]

  well i know i don't watch TV so yeah me [TS]

  neither it would just end up in the [TS]

  corner with not gonna watch Doctor Who [TS]

  coffee maker Oh anyway the never seen a [TS]

  doctor who could good-byes are you [TS]

  saying good are you saying good are you [TS]

  saying good i'm being dismissive in that [TS]

  way you you paid when I do between the [TS]

  monkey bars y the last man i'll show you [TS]

  friday a meeting oh sorry go ahead [TS]

  well have you ever been have you ever [TS]

  been doing know I keep meaning to they [TS]

  are amazing [TS]

  well I've always been curious because it [TS]

  seems like people & T on TV anyway [TS]

  people smoke and they drink a lot of [TS]

  coffee and a meeting that real TV [TS]

  well no you can't smoke in the many more [TS]

  most of them boo i know but there is a [TS]

  lot of coffee happening and the problem [TS]

  with a meetings as they are portrayed in [TS]

  film and on TV is that dramatically the [TS]

  the scriptwriters the screenwriters who [TS]

  all I'm sure belong in a meetings but [TS]

  probably none of them ever been to one [TS]

  or or na [TS]

  yeah they all want there to be what what [TS]

  in at one today is called crosstalk [TS]

  which is that the person is talking [TS]

  telling their story and then someone [TS]

  else in the room confronts them about it [TS]

  or the squad leader of the meeting gets [TS]

  up and make some comment about what they [TS]

  just shared you know like they there [TS]

  they always introduced into the script [TS]

  some back-and-forth between a person who [TS]

  is like in authority in the a meeting [TS]

  and the protagonist but the reality is [TS]

  that that that never happens in a [TS]

  meeting there is no leader and so there [TS]

  is never know whenever comments on no [TS]

  one ever replies to you [TS]

  exactly Robert's Rules of AAA well there [TS]

  are rules but like you get up and you [TS]

  talk and then you sit down and then the [TS]

  next person gets up and talks there [TS]

  isn't that no one ever says like you [TS]

  know part of your problem is [TS]

  blah blah blah like it's not it isn't [TS]

  ever done that way it's just that part [TS]

  of the ethos you don't yeah it's [TS]

  absolutely part of the ethos it's called [TS]

  it's called crosstalk and make a frown [TS]

  on it [TS]

  they also don't think that you should [TS]

  date people that you meet in a meetings [TS]

  but that's really hard with a lot of [TS]

  scriptwriters get a lot wrong about a [TS]

  they do they do and I don't know I for a [TS]

  long time I thought maybe they were [TS]

  intentionally obscuring it because they [TS]

  because everyone in hollow Hollywood was [TS]

  in a and they didn't want the secret to [TS]

  get out but then I realized that it was [TS]

  just that for dramatic purposes they [TS]

  need there to be some authority figure [TS]

  and I think what's happening is they're [TS]

  there they're putting a lot of those are [TS]

  setting a lot of those scenes now in [TS]

  rehabs and rehabs are a lot [TS]

  culty you're feeling but I don't know [TS]

  I've never seen the idea actually fight [TS]

  club did a pretty good job of [TS]

  representing what what some of those [TS]

  meetings are really like although i've [TS]

  never been to like cancer survivor [TS]

  meeting meatloaf was funny it was funny [TS]

  but in any case a lot of those meetings [TS]

  are held in churches and if you go into [TS]

  the church basements and you start going [TS]

  through the cupboards you will find [TS]

  sometimes eight to fifteen coffee makers [TS]

  that have just that are just like dead [TS]

  soldiers [TS]

  no one can you know like it's not that [TS]

  they stopped working [TS]

  it's that a new one is cheap enough to [TS]

  get into that somebody brings the new [TS]

  one and then you feel like you gotta [TS]

  plug the new one in and start using it [TS]

  and so the old ones not broken but you [TS]

  know you're not using anymore and so it [TS]

  goes up in the cupboard and a lot of [TS]

  these kitchens in church basements [TS]

  they're not used for anything but a [TS]

  meetings so they got all these cupboards [TS]

  and so the coffeemakers just go up in [TS]

  the cupboards and pretty soon you open [TS]

  these cupboards just like it's a fucking [TS]

  museum of coffee makers that what you [TS]

  don't have you gotten from a meeting in [TS]

  the past [TS]

  please pick one up no you don't take [TS]

  from me you know you're not supposed to [TS]

  steal a coffeemaker mother that's the [TS]

  third rule of fight club members today [TS]

  they're still the content filter coffee [TS]

  maker but you know you open it up and [TS]

  it's like is that an original mr. coffee [TS]

  right [TS]

  probably some of them if they weren't [TS]

  also coffee-stained probably they would [TS]

  be like with a little bit of money i [TS]

  think that's who I don't know about that [TS]

  by I think that's one reason like for me [TS]

  just like this is not fun to clean [TS]

  anymore this is just gross [TS]

  yeah all the parts on this are plastic [TS]

  and and it's disgusting and who think [TS]

  about this [TS]

  ya think about a pneumatic cannon that [TS]

  shoots coffeemakers it's like a t-shirt [TS]

  kind of for coffee makers [TS]

  yes so we build a t-shirt cannon but [TS]

  coffee maker sides and listening and [TS]

  then people from all over come with [TS]

  their old coffee makers and we should we [TS]

  like shoot'em like we should wait we put [TS]

  a couple of old Volkswagens downrange [TS]

  and we just shoot coffeemakers Adam all [TS]

  afternoon [TS]

  who wouldn't who pay fifteen dollars to [TS]

  shoot a coffeemaker battle cry is the [TS]

  money-making scheme if we've ever had [TS]

  one it would be really find the glass [TS]

  shatter yeah the whole thing I mean [TS]

  think about the think about the [TS]

  satisfying impact about the entire [TS]

  possible paper and half the time like [TS]

  that the carafe would come separated [TS]

  from the from the the launch system the [TS]

  heating system somewhere in midair and [TS]

  you would end up with a kind of shrapnel [TS]

  effect a great shot effect i think it's [TS]

  a no-brainer people would absolutely do [TS]

  that they would people would people will [TS]

  come and you get the price of admission [TS]

  could be bring an old coffee maker bring [TS]

  an old well wait a minute no we want to [TS]

  make a little money to know Gotye [TS]

  because we have to pay for the pneumatic [TS]

  can use can you fire your old coffee [TS]

  maker and and maybe buy a new one made [TS]

  as part of the process [TS]

  maybe maybe if you because there's so [TS]

  many crappy think about like thinking [TS]

  about like you come in you're gonna buy [TS]

  a tivo but you get to fire your old VHS [TS]

  a VW okay but wait a minute what about [TS]

  what see what I'm hoping that people [TS]

  will come with like eight coffeemakers [TS]

  we're solving for solving a problem for [TS]

  people something least three problems by [TS]

  my reckoning it all around America there [TS]

  have got to be used coffee makers [TS]

  sitting in people's bottom cupboards [TS]

  littering the church basements of [TS]

  america that's right and so the thing is [TS]

  yes I think we should sell new coffee [TS]

  maybe you should you should sell your [TS]

  cuisinart coffee maker at the at the [TS]

  like there should be a gift shop and [TS]

  it's just sells coffee makers new coffee [TS]

  makers but the thing is that dick that [TS]

  is somebody brings a coffee makers i'm [TS]

  not gonna want to buy eight new coffee [TS]

  makers they're bringing eight copy [TS]

  makers to shoot they're gonna want to [TS]

  buy one with what I feel like I feel [TS]

  like there's got to be a per shot charge [TS]

  even if you bring your own coffee maker [TS]

  you gotta pay for services we can come [TS]

  out and like you can you get a set an [TS]

  automatic weapon and get to shoot it's [TS]

  something isn't something you can do [TS]

  yeah i mean they don't come out to you [TS]

  you know you go up to the website and [TS]

  mobile lab you got a little come to your [TS]

  house with an automatic weapon and [TS]

  second I mean like it's friday afternoon [TS]

  you use the you know you're mad at your [TS]

  boss you can just go out and shoot [TS]

  fucking coffee maker it's something I [TS]

  feel like I feel like the area around [TS]

  San Francisco is perfect for this like [TS]

  out out in the out in east bay somewhere [TS]

  is a firing range right down the street [TS]

  from here [TS]

  here we go you can hear it on weekends [TS]

  you can hear him shooting down like more [TS]

  said yeah [TS]

  is it a police thing nope just a regular [TS]

  old bring a gun shoot stuff range you [TS]

  know there's a police shooting range [TS]

  over here by my house [TS]

  really yeah and sometimes you can hear [TS]

  shooting machine guns [TS]

  wow it's pretty great how do what they [TS]

  do a lot of shooting in the summer [TS]

  not so much shooting in the winter and [TS]

  it makes me think [TS]

  are they under prepared for gunfights in [TS]

  inclement weather right like they're [TS]

  ready for creating into Rock book dealer [TS]

  malcolm gladwell if better not [TS]

  practicing all year round [TS]

  they're an ineffective force interesting [TS]

  this biscuit biscuit alter the course of [TS]

  history haha this is what happened to [TS]

  Napoleon but because what happened to [TS]

  Hitler do [TS]

  hi were ready he may not ready for cold [TS]

  cold cold weather combat that's right he [TS]

  didn't know what he was [TS]

  get into hits coffeemakers if he'd been [TS]

  out there year-round who shouldn't copy [TS]

  makers in the dead of winter he would [TS]

  imagine they will both of them would've [TS]

  made it to Moscow Hitler wouldn't have [TS]

  had to go to Moscow because Napoleon [TS]

  would have already gotten there [TS]

  ah have been speaking French and Moscow [TS]

  more than they already were [TS]

  can you imagine that time dignified what [TS]

  would have happened if Napoleon had made [TS]

  it all at concord mosca do that is [TS]

  something i don't have to dig it's kind [TS]

  of a day dr. you type thing I don't [TS]

  think they would have survived think [TS]

  even if he conquered Moscow I don't [TS]

  think they want to survive the winner is [TS]

  you know it's like this is like the Robo [TS]

  suppose that line about how like [TS]

  revolutionaries don't make great [TS]

  politicians or whatever spend more [TS]

  clever than that but that's a hell of a [TS]

  large landmass to run [TS]

  yes you know in even if you I mean it's [TS]

  just it seems like you'd have to be as [TS]

  crooked as they are there in order to [TS]

  run that well hmm doesn't back then [TS]

  sure I mean you would need the fear you [TS]

  would need to I i don't know i mean it's [TS]

  it's not food I don't think I don't [TS]

  think the majority of Russia has ever [TS]

  really been governed we're talking USSR [TS]

  though [TS]

  yeah we're talking about ten time zones [TS]

  like the negative land song says right [TS]

  are there are there really that many [TS]

  there are a lot of time zones are there [TS]

  ten time zones in Russia has not a giant [TS]

  negative life and I i think that you're [TS]

  my friend shawn wolfe who did the cover [TS]

  art for who attended also- land cover [TS]

  art really [TS]

  he was a BYZ was the negative land [TS]

  graphic artist for this book is cool [TS]

  Sean wolves we should get him which you [TS]

  know what all these people should have [TS]

  to pass including Hitler cuisinart we [TS]

  should get shown her to to sponsor this [TS]

  podcast with free remover installers [TS]

  that's the name of the device right [TS]

  that's his little the classical and [TS]

  device gather remover installing I think [TS]

  your and my shared understanding of how [TS]

  people actually make money from things [TS]

  has become so backward at this point [TS]

  that it just might work [TS]

  how do you make money from things how [TS]

  does anybody make money is all the time [TS]

  who have so much money yes how did they [TS]

  make it at cicis you should if you [TS]

  should get VC if that's right in the [TS]

  shit of venture capitalists I don't know [TS]

  how do we get one of those [TS]

  how do we get a venture capitalist why [TS]

  don't we is there like a trap that he [TS]

  said now you get a better get on to the [TS]

  pound or we should make a proposal you [TS]

  and I are smart we should make a [TS]

  proposal that gets a venture capital [TS]

  that it attracts the interest yes i was [TS]

  out like a serial entrepreneur right [TS]

  like that guy that I met at that party [TS]

  in new york city where area Huffington [TS]

  let's give me all these books about that [TS]

  when you saw the slides of four children [TS]

  on the law that's right where the guy [TS]

  gave upset are you an entrepreneur and I [TS]

  said yeah sort of tomorrow buck [TS]

  haha did you see our slideshow about [TS]

  poor children i did that didn't really [TS]

  know there won't be still in Africa this [TS]

  Christmas time [TS]

  thank God remember back in nineteen [TS]

  eighty-four when there wasn't snow in [TS]

  Africa [TS]

  oh I thought that song sounds more [TS]

  condescending to me every year there's [TS]

  something about a tease culture that was [TS]

  still so in between so him between the [TS]

  monkey bars where the be like rampant [TS]

  ignorance and like casual racism of the [TS]

  sixties and seventies was still like it [TS]

  was still what what the culture was [TS]

  soaking in but there was all this new [TS]

  flip agility is only 10 years old that [TS]

  nobody could quite figure out like how [TS]

  do we show that we are compassionate [TS]

  but we are because we have no experience [TS]

  with real compassion [TS]

  well yeah especially that I think if I [TS]

  understand what you're what you're [TS]

  describing is probably don't the mid to [TS]

  late eighties and into the early [TS]

  nineties it was like the end of the pro [TS]

  period of assholishness and the the very [TS]

  tenuous beginnings of this new kind of [TS]

  fancy nice guy softness that we actually [TS]

  had learned to do well yet right since [TS]

  had learned to do well yet right since [TS]

  oh there's a kind of assholeish nice [TS]

  kindness to that done I get that the [TS]

  presumption that Christmas even applies [TS]

  to fully half of the continent of Africa [TS]

  I've thought about this a lot and I [TS]

  think the reason they did that is [TS]

  because the donations were going to cut [TS]

  become from people who love Christmas [TS]

  and want people to be happy so I kind of [TS]

  get that yeah yeah but like do they know [TS]

  it's Christmas [TS]

  it's like it's the whole just the title [TS]

  of the song implies that Africa is a is [TS]

  it it's like okay [TS]

  of course they're hungry they don't know [TS]

  it's Christmas it's like Plato's cave [TS]

  do they know it's Christmas and this is [TS]

  just shadows on the wall like that would [TS]

  have been a better lyric than half of [TS]

  the lyrics [TS]

  the answer is the answer said depressing [TS]

  in the end we can feed everybody very [TS]

  very very easily be just only paying the [TS]

  transportation costs on things [TS]

  well that's true of half the things in [TS]

  my house I was thinking about it the [TS]

  other day half the stuff in here [TS]

  I'm just it's just that i'm paying for [TS]

  the container and I mean seeds don't [TS]

  cost anything [TS]

  what are seeds seeds seeds just fall [TS]

  from the sky right baby plants [TS]

  yeah sky seeds somebody I i had to pay [TS]

  somebody a couple of cents an hour to [TS]

  pick these seeds and put them in a bin [TS]

  but then the rest of it is just [TS]

  transportation i'm selling vegetables [TS]

  are we talking about [TS]

  well you know just the seeds of of items [TS]

  ya like it you need seeds or any crunchy [TS]

  seeds oh I'm more than that man led to [TS]

  seed my wife likes seats [TS]

  what about seeds and nuts every mix [TS]

  seeds and nuts i can always feel like [TS]

  that's a little bit of a jam up like 10 [TS]

  west yorkshire Corp you got your trail [TS]

  mix I always feel like like you're not [TS]

  going to get the same quality control as [TS]

  if you just gotten an ass-ton of nuts [TS]

  the one kind of thing yeah yeah yeah [TS]

  whatever the other day the cashews are [TS]

  nuts [TS]

  what somebody was yelling at me i posted [TS]

  a picture of some cashews who as you do [TS]

  yeah and I was like yep just sitting [TS]

  here eating some nuts and somebody was [TS]

  like the cashews are nuts [TS]

  cashews are not nuts is it a beam is it [TS]

  like you like like you don't appease a [TS]

  piece on that's right how piece of the [TS]

  things you didn't know it's christmas [TS]

  time at all maybe catch is a fruit and [TS]

  that look that up [TS]

  [Music] [TS]