Roderick on the Line

Ep. 92: "Born on a Ball"

 

  hello hey John I Maryland has gone [TS]

  pretty well yeah yeah I've just been on [TS]

  the internet this morning arguing about [TS]

  the Beatles with some ding-a-lings i [TS]

  wanna hear about that you're explaining [TS]

  the universe to your daughter today [TS]

  oh well i started doing that and then it [TS]

  made me think that I needed that was [TS]

  more important was to straighten out [TS]

  some feelings haha yeah i was trying to [TS]

  you know I i got the globe out she said [TS]

  where does the Sun go and that seems [TS]

  like a reasonable question so i got the [TS]

  globe out and I got a baseball and i [TS]

  said here's the earth and here's where [TS]

  we live and the moon goes around there [TS]

  is like this baseball at the Sun and [TS]

  then i put i took a headlamp and put the [TS]

  headlamp on and I stood far away from [TS]

  the globe and ice was pointing the [TS]

  headlamp at Seattle and I said when the [TS]

  Sun shines on Seattle it's because it's [TS]

  a big fireball that's far away but then [TS]

  the globe turns and your you don't see [TS]

  the Sun sets on the other side but then [TS]

  the baseball of the Moon can always see [TS]

  the Sun and so the baseball and I'm [TS]

  shining the headlamp on the baseball [TS]

  likessee Seattle's in the dark but the [TS]

  baseball can see the Sun and then she [TS]

  said why do we live on a ball [TS]

  and I felt like that was a really good [TS]

  question and the more I thought about it [TS]

  the less i even had a pity answer for [TS]

  why we live on the bond ball and [TS]

  eventually I said we were born on a ball [TS]

  and we will die on a ball and no one [TS]

  every single person that you know every [TS]

  single thing that you know was born on a [TS]

  ball [TS]

  no one knows why we'll all die on this [TS]

  ball without ever knowing why [TS]

  end of conversation [TS]

  no i don't think so i think it's only [TS]

  the beginning she took that and looked [TS]

  thoughtful and kind of wandered off to [TS]

  think about it I kind of makes me see [TS]

  the appeal of the whole flatter thing [TS]

  though [TS]

  well yeah sure I mean I could sit and [TS]

  explain explain that the earth is a [TS]

  piece of paper and if you go to the ends [TS]

  you'll fall off but that it that makes [TS]

  no more sense but what about Santa [TS]

  well you you bring up a good question [TS]

  because the appears the problem on the [TS]

  one hand i know that i am not smarter [TS]

  than everyone on earth [TS]

  on the other hand i don't actually [TS]

  believe that which so Santa part know [TS]

  the fact that i'm not smarter than [TS]

  everybody on our so on the one hand I [TS]

  feel like I'm trying to reinvent [TS]

  christmas and i know that i am i'm one [TS]

  of many many many people throughout [TS]

  history who have said Christmas is dumb [TS]

  but aspects of it are great i would just [TS]

  like to take those aspects that I like [TS]

  and revisit a kind of pagan animist [TS]

  solstice holiday but also you know like [TS]

  as Hodgman says slowly kill a tree in my [TS]

  house you know practice Christmas in [TS]

  some of its splendor but without [TS]

  succumbing to [TS]

  all the nightmare but at the same time I [TS]

  know that I I like I i know that [TS]

  hubristic people throughout history have [TS]

  tried to do this and they all end up at [TS]

  Grandma's house opening package after [TS]

  package of socks while their children [TS]

  are showered with Barbies that does seem [TS]

  pretty unfair in Roma it almost seems [TS]

  like like there's nothing i can do even [TS]

  at like we march knowingly into [TS]

  catastrophe because the only other [TS]

  option is that you completely reinvent [TS]

  the world and celebrate festivus but [TS]

  anyway has met Santa a couple of times [TS]

  really and I has not been particularly [TS]

  interested or thrilled like it is very [TS]

  uninterested in hanging with Santa [TS]

  well here's the pitch it once and it did [TS]

  not go well I don't you wide if you've [TS]

  noticed when you get up close to the [TS]

  real-life Santa's the department store [TS]

  Santa's I feel like most of the time [TS]

  they are all Jewish men and they are [TS]

  drunk like inch in the only the only way [TS]

  they can deal with that cognitive [TS]

  dissonance [TS]

  yeah that we went to boeing field the [TS]

  other day because Santa was Santa was [TS]

  coming and there were 2,000 kids there [TS]

  to see Santa arrived and I'm standing [TS]

  I'm like will send that there's there's [TS]

  going to be an airplane which is going [TS]

  to be interesting but then Santa's going [TS]

  to get out and who nobody's I mean like [TS]

  my baby is not going to care and my [TS]

  baby's mother standing there said I [TS]

  swear to you [TS]

  what do you mean Santa's arriving in an [TS]

  airplane [TS]

  that said do you think that they have [TS]

  figured out a way to get reindeer to fly [TS]

  what do you think is gonna happen is it [TS]

  Seattle what would you expect that's how [TS]

  she arrived on a plane where the airport [TS]

  and I honestly think that this adult [TS]

  woman had not so we considered what [TS]

  exactly was about to happen like she she [TS]

  maybe was holding out a little bit of [TS]

  expectation that there would be reindeer [TS]

  but in any case Santa did arrive in a [TS]

  yellow t Havilland beaver which is a [TS]

  wonderful airplane and was thrilled to [TS]

  see the airplane and I was thrilled [TS]

  it was a very it was a beautiful beaver [TS]

  highly polished this is a seaplane know [TS]

  it can be made into a seaplane the de [TS]

  Havilland beaver is one of the great [TS]

  airplanes it is a Canadian airplane they [TS]

  don't make them anymore they're classic [TS]

  airplanes but every one of them is still [TS]

  everyone they ever made is still flying [TS]

  because all pilots recognize that this [TS]

  is the great the de Havilland beaver is [TS]

  the great bush plane like it they don't [TS]

  know how many of them made but I swear [TS]

  to you they are all still in the air [TS]

  because people polish them to within an [TS]

  inch of their lives because they're the [TS]

  perfect for the perfect plane is now [TS]

  stratovarius of Bush planes exactly the [TS]

  Stradivarius of Bush planes the de [TS]

  Havilland beaver it has a rotary engine [TS]

  and nothing can compare to the sound of [TS]

  a rotary engine in full flight in full [TS]

  song anyway this plan shows up Santa [TS]

  gets down out of the plane with his with [TS]

  mrs. Claus and right away you see mrs. [TS]

  Claus's outfit does not match Santa's [TS]

  outfit their different Velvets like a [TS]

  second marriage [TS]

  well he have to figure though even if [TS]

  even if it's even if its second mrs. [TS]

  Claus the first thing she's gonna do i [TS]

  mean i'm not i don't know women a [TS]

  hundred percent but under but [TS]

  ninety-four percent i know the first [TS]

  thing she's going to do is if it is [TS]

  Santa Claus outfit was made by his first [TS]

  wife she's going to make him a new one [TS]

  that matches hers you know what I mean [TS]

  like this is just basic Claus [TS]

  is science mm so her velvet outfit in [TS]

  his Santa suit are different Velvets and [TS]

  right away she foxy know she was a [TS]

  little old lady mrs. Claus second thing [TS]

  I notice is that Santa is a Jewish man [TS]

  and I know that from you know from my [TS]

  studies of phrenology haha and that he's [TS]

  also drunk that he wasn't piloting the [TS]

  heavily wasn't piloting the plane he was [TS]

  leaving and also sad was riding in the [TS]

  back he wasn't even co-piloting he was [TS]

  riding in the back like luggage [TS]

  yeah and then his elves are just two [TS]

  children that are clearly his [TS]

  grandchildren not elves at all but [TS]

  children and so i'm thinking i put on my [TS]

  hat for this I got I got out of my house [TS]

  might be able to get away with a lot of [TS]

  shit when you're pretending to be Santa [TS]

  yeah so he comes he works the line he's [TS]

  a great he's very nice he tells [TS]

  everybody you know he's like pre-selling [TS]

  the like are going to come see me at the [TS]

  santa thing you know he doesn't really [TS]

  didn't really talk like my dad will talk [TS]

  like that or like a Jewish then and I'm [TS]

  thinking you know just more interested [TS]

  in the airplane and I am too but then as [TS]

  he as he marches off i'm i'm i'm i'm [TS]

  back to thinking lamp from caught in [TS]

  this world of like do I i'm busy trying [TS]

  to explain to her that the moon is a [TS]

  baseball but with my other hand I'm [TS]

  gonna tell her that Santa Claus is real [TS]

  well I brought up for a reason I think [TS]

  they both have a lot in common [TS]

  especially in that there are certain [TS]

  facts in the world that grown-ups you [TS]

  know kind of know or you know learning [TS]

  people who were grown-ups now but you [TS]

  know honestly in the case of the solar [TS]

  system and I do like the fact that you [TS]

  were in fact the center of that solar [TS]

  system in your description not the [TS]

  headlamp on [TS]

  yeah alright but in with both Santa and [TS]

  the solar system it's only the grown-ups [TS]

  that are troubled really troubled by not [TS]

  being able to explain [TS]

  all of the inconsistencies yeah I think [TS]

  I think I mean maybe maybe it's [TS]

  different with the earth but I mean [TS]

  there's kids every day there's so much [TS]

  shit that a little kid does not [TS]

  understand even if you explain something [TS]

  really simple flawlessly and there [TS]

  aren't that many things that simply to [TS]

  explain flawlessly [TS]

  still they still don't understand [TS]

  they're still gonna have some great [TS]

  question some kind of you know Steve [TS]

  Allen type question or Bill Cosby type [TS]

  question it's gonna make you feel like a [TS]

  dumbass [TS]

  no matter what pops yeah but you know [TS]

  they say they do say the darndest things [TS]

  but you know the you know I just think [TS]

  about like the kind of like media that [TS]

  she consumes like she understands that [TS]

  like cartoon reality you know what you [TS]

  can do to hit somebody with a mallet in [TS]

  a cartoon is not the same thing I hope [TS]

  that she could do to me with a mallet so [TS]

  your little girl is old enough to [TS]

  understand that my little girl still [TS]

  does not still would happily hit me with [TS]

  a mallet she believes in the single [TS]

  mallet theory [TS]

  well the that the thing I'm I guess I'm [TS]

  wrestling with as I have considered [TS]

  christmas is that when I was growing up [TS]

  even though we were a pretty secular [TS]

  house I mean my mom took us to church [TS]

  because church was a social thing in her [TS]

  own childhood and she didn't want to [TS]

  deprive us of like methodism hope [TS]

  whatever didn't want to deprive us of [TS]

  the hymns um but I remember as a kid you [TS]

  know seven eight nine years old you know [TS]

  during the seventies obviously [TS]

  Christianity was still in its still [TS]

  provided the popular culture around [TS]

  Christmas time there was no there was no [TS]

  prohibition against talking about the [TS]

  baby Jesus on in crime TV right when he [TS]

  said happy holiday season you really [TS]

  meant Merry Christmas you mean merry [TS]

  christmas and and in in fact like there [TS]

  was a tremendous amount of like [TS]

  sanctimonious religiosity in in every I [TS]

  mean at the end of the Happy Days [TS]

  christmas special or whatever they all [TS]

  the camera zoomed in on the star at the [TS]

  top of the tree and there was some [TS]

  admonition that we [TS]

  should remember the reason for the [TS]

  season or whatever it was very you know [TS]

  Jesus was at the center of the game [TS]

  until the culture wars and the and the [TS]

  you know the feminazis yeah and the [TS]

  Islamic Nazis took Jesus away guess so [TS]

  but I mean if you go back to know [TS]

  actually it's definitely feminazis to [TS]

  blame but if you go back to you know [TS]

  that should charlie brown christmas and [TS]

  the way that they handle you know the [TS]

  shepherds abiding in the field it it's [TS]

  jesus is not the center of even like [TS]

  little drummer boy he is but he's the [TS]

  center of it as like a little baby it's [TS]

  not it's not that the Savior I mean I [TS]

  guess it is in some sense but it's [TS]

  always I think it's always been coded [TS]

  has always been a little bit complicated [TS]

  but this is something interesting you [TS]

  said I want to make sure not to lose [TS]

  though is that when you described like [TS]

  having the trying like make your peace [TS]

  with some version of Christmas that that [TS]

  isn't you know totally disgusting i kind [TS]

  of think that's what everybody had does [TS]

  and I think it's kind of what everybody [TS]

  has always done well but this is so this [TS]

  is my challenge because I some of my [TS]

  favorite memories as a kid are solitary [TS]

  moments that i spent in a in a dark room [TS]

  it is sitting with your disappointment [TS]

  and confusion that this applies [TS]

  throughout the year some of my favorite [TS]

  moments are sitting alone in a dark room [TS]

  but but around Christmastime especially [TS]

  like being there with the tree and the [TS]

  lights are off the trees blinking and [TS]

  it's quiet outside and maybe the snow is [TS]

  coming down but really striving inside [TS]

  myself to find two to access the sacred [TS]

  to find I understood that it was a [TS]

  holiday about God and about the you know [TS]

  about the hot the the higher-ups [TS]

  like the higher up ideas of selflessness [TS]

  and giving and sacrifice and even if i [TS]

  even as a kid I didn't have all the [TS]

  judeo-christian language but I [TS]

  understood that that's what we were [TS]

  trying to that was the practice of [TS]

  Christmas and we were trying to access [TS]

  those those ideas in ourselves and those [TS]

  feelings and so that's and and you know [TS]

  ended the thing about december is it is [TS]

  in a lot of ways a very sacred feeling [TS]

  time it's the darkest day of the year it [TS]

  is the very vulnerable in December yeah [TS]

  and-and-and it feel you know it is the [TS]

  inn in a way the quietest month [TS]

  everything is sleeping and so that [TS]

  feeling which which was connected to [TS]

  this this goulash of culture a little [TS]

  bit baby Jesus a little bit Star of [TS]

  Bethlehem which it wasn't clear what the [TS]

  Star of Bethlehem was exactly but it was [TS]

  something in the sky that was both [TS]

  beautiful and also like awesome and all [TS]

  these middle eastern stories but also [TS]

  Santa and the stores and the bells and [TS]

  data and all kind all comes together to [TS]

  create this very powerful and it for me [TS]

  very personal thing that I wouldn't want [TS]

  to deprive my child of you know like [TS]

  that was the one time of year where I i [TS]

  would legitimately kind of sit myself [TS]

  down close my eyes turn my face to [TS]

  heaven and say are you there god it's me [TS]

  it's me heat [TS]

  la marque marga mark again Eric you're [TS]

  hoping you're open you're giving him a [TS]

  shot you're saying here danced and had [TS]

  time to go to the big game and like [TS]

  opening the heart and saying uh I want [TS]

  to be generous [TS]

  I want to love instead of hate i want to [TS]

  you know all these things i was reading [TS]

  this fascinating article the other day [TS]

  about a Japanese zero pilot during Pearl [TS]

  Harbor who crashed his plane on a [TS]

  hawaiian island after bombing Pearl [TS]

  Harbor crash you know he was like she's [TS]

  basically his plane was disabled and he [TS]

  crashed on this Hawaiian island that did [TS]

  not have a telephone and they were about [TS]

  a hundred and fifty Native Hawaiians [TS]

  that lived on this island and three [TS]

  japanese people two of them born in [TS]

  america won a Japanese immigrant who [TS]

  were living together with the Hawaiians [TS]

  on this island and this pilot crashes [TS]

  his plane there and they don't know [TS]

  about Pearl Harbor it hasn't happened [TS]

  they didn't get a phone call and it [TS]

  hasn't you know their shortwave radio [TS]

  has to wait until the until two o'clock [TS]

  in the morning to work or whatever and [TS]

  so this pilot crashes his plane and [TS]

  everybody's like oh how unfortunate we [TS]

  should like we should help this person [TS]

  we we don't speak he doesn't speak [TS]

  English [TS]

  the Hawaiians didn't speak Japanese so [TS]

  they're like let's help this down a [TS]

  pilot and they bring them into town and [TS]

  somebody's like well let's go fetch the [TS]

  those Japanese people and maybe they can [TS]

  talk to him and so the the Japanese who [TS]

  were living on the island come talk to [TS]

  the pilot figure out what happened [TS]

  a pilot in lists them in a scheme to [TS]

  get his get his papers back from the the [TS]

  chief of the island and burn the plane [TS]

  and like and basically the these three [TS]

  japanese conspire with the pilot it ends [TS]

  up in a battle between the the Native [TS]

  Hawaiians and these and the the pilot [TS]

  and his conspirators and on the basis of [TS]

  this incident this was the justification [TS]

  for part of the justification that the [TS]

  department of war used to start talking [TS]

  about internment camps because on Pearl [TS]

  Harbor Day an actual incident where [TS]

  Japanese pilot crashed on an island and [TS]

  and native you know like born in America [TS]

  people of Japanese descent came to his [TS]

  aid against their neighbors and so this [TS]

  is cited as like a little-known incident [TS]

  but that was in all the memos that went [TS]

  to Washington were like what you know [TS]

  the Japanese in San Francisco if there's [TS]

  an invasion [TS]

  can we can we trust them over this is [TS]

  turning into a happy Christmas story cuz [TS]

  cuz its sense up until about 90 seconds [TS]

  ago you really had me I thought I [TS]

  thought I thought what was gonna happen [TS]

  was he with the land you would get out [TS]

  he does he realize you just see the star [TS]

  in the sky [TS]

  well that's not over simplified he he [TS]

  would crash land lightly and think okay [TS]

  I need to repair my plane but for now [TS]

  i'm gonna dress up as a Dickensian [TS]

  character haha and fit in and and while [TS]

  he was waiting for his part to arrive [TS]

  from from Tokyo that he would learn the [TS]

  true meaning of Christmas when that he [TS]

  would be embraced and will be kinda like [TS]

  the Grinch meets tora tora tora there is [TS]

  there actually is a there is there there [TS]

  is a version of that story coming out of [TS]

  the end of this story so get and tour [TS]

  actually figures into it could be three [TS]

  hours look because as I was researching [TS]

  this story and and feeling like wow this [TS]

  complicates man [TS]

  others for me now this is this [TS]

  complicates this story that we are we've [TS]

  been telling ourselves for the last 70 [TS]

  years which was that the I mean [TS]

  obviously the internment camps were an [TS]

  abomination but this is a this is an [TS]

  incident that actually happened and and [TS]

  and that the aid and succour that these [TS]

  that the three local Japanese provided [TS]

  this 0 pilot was not incidental like [TS]

  they actually took up arms against their [TS]

  neighbors and you know this was this was [TS]

  disaffected well anyway so as in the [TS]

  course of reach further researching this [TS]

  story to make sure that it's not just [TS]

  some but it's not some propagandized [TS]

  revisionism I learned that the pilot who [TS]

  led the assault on pearl harbor the the [TS]

  the lead guy in the air [TS]

  he also he and he is the man who [TS]

  actually said tora tora tora into his [TS]

  microphone [TS]

  he's the heat that's it that's his quote [TS]

  and I forget his name he went on to be [TS]

  in the Battle of Midway he was he fought [TS]

  in Burma he became like he was a he was [TS]

  a hero in Japan and after the war as the [TS]

  American government was prosecuting [TS]

  Japanese a higher ups for war crimes [TS]

  this pilot took offense at the idea [TS]

  because he said you know this is this is [TS]

  common in war and surely the Americans [TS]

  tortured all their Japanese captives [TS]

  just as we tortured our American [TS]

  captives and so he said about after the [TS]

  war to go interview all of the Japanese [TS]

  prisoners of war as they were [TS]

  repatriated from and as he did he found [TS]

  them all [TS]

  he he realized that their reports were [TS]

  that in fact know they had not been [TS]

  tortured they had been treated with [TS]

  tremendous kindness by their captors and [TS]

  fed and and treated as you know as as [TS]

  well as American soldiers were being [TS]

  treated [TS]

  except they were you know obviously they [TS]

  were in prison camps but they weren't [TS]

  tortured they weren't starved they [TS]

  weren't in that Eric marched they [TS]

  weren't death marched and this this [TS]

  pilots after war experiences worse it [TS]

  was such a it was so alien to his notion [TS]

  of the import the central importance of [TS]

  revenge as like the court one of his [TS]

  core beliefs like vengeance is how you [TS]

  get justice and if someone murders your [TS]

  family you you have a a bond of [TS]

  vengeance with them and until you [TS]

  achieve that vengeance you your [TS]

  ancestors can't rest or whatever and he [TS]

  was contrasting that with the what he [TS]

  what he took to be the overtly christian [TS]

  idea of forgive your enemy [TS]

  and love your love your enemy and hit [TS]

  the experience was so profound that he [TS]

  became an evangelical Christian haha and [TS]

  spent the rest of his life traveling the [TS]

  world this is the guy who spearheaded [TS]

  the Pearl Harbor attack spent the rest [TS]

  of his life traveling the world speaking [TS]

  as a you know like as a pretty powerful [TS]

  public speaker like yes i bombed Pearl [TS]

  Harbor and now i am now i have learned [TS]

  to turn the other cheek and love my [TS]

  enemy so yeah it's a Christmas miracle [TS]

  it was a Christmas miracle and it all [TS]

  and december 70 is just a couple of [TS]

  weeks before Christmas [TS]

  maybe that's the Christmas story I maybe [TS]

  that's the version of Christmas I need [TS]

  to introduce to my daughter [TS]

  we don't it's not really a Jesus story [TS]

  it's more about this Japanese zero pilot [TS]

  right now I don't know [TS]

  well you can you can lead a huge [TS]

  surprise invasion and a piece and then [TS]

  get away with it by by changing [TS]

  religions it's certainly an option [TS]

  interesting interesting story though [TS]

  interesting conversations very very very [TS]

  interesting indeed [TS]

  and that is and i think my instinct as [TS]

  we have covered that many times [TS]

  ok my instincts for vengeance but what i [TS]

  want i aspire to have my instinct beat [TS]

  toward love and anyway this time of year [TS]

  was always the one time of year when I [TS]

  would really make a concerted effort to [TS]

  like and I think it's true for a lot of [TS]

  us get in the spirit of the season and [TS]

  get you know get some get some love flow [TS]

  and I don't know how to integrate that [TS]

  this is the problem with not believing [TS]

  in ghosts but being scared of ghosts [TS]

  how do you integrate this this message [TS]

  of you know like altruism and also [TS]

  connection with a higher power and tree [TS]

  worship at like how do you how do you [TS]

  find a way to all of that outside of [TS]

  institutional religious practice I don't [TS]

  think it's that hard [TS]

  I mean it's me again these are all [TS]

  things that are only problematic if you [TS]

  think it all needs to make sense [TS]

  me and I think I mean you know who cares [TS]

  what anybody else wants to do for [TS]

  Christmas I mean you should do what [TS]

  makes your relatives happy or whatever i [TS]

  guess not that I think okay so here's [TS]

  one thing with this amount obsess about [TS]

  Christmas but the the i think that the [TS]

  people who act as though this has always [TS]

  been a solemn event about celebrating [TS]

  the birth of the Savior of the Christian [TS]

  you know the Christian Savior Jesus baby [TS]

  yeah but I mean like lawyers ok so when [TS]

  you get to the crux of what people what [TS]

  it what is the stick everybody has up [TS]

  there but about Christmas and they're [TS]

  not being honored correctly at the heart [TS]

  of it it seems like what they're saying [TS]

  is you guys keep forgetting the [TS]

  Christmas is really all about [TS]

  celebrating the birth of Jesus who will [TS]

  eventually a few years become the savior [TS]

  of humanity and he was actually born in [TS]

  September probably well but it's been in [TS]

  that framework I think what they're [TS]

  trying to say is those people are [TS]

  understandably I mean if that's what [TS]

  they believe I get that um the problem [TS]

  is i think that his store history is not [TS]

  in their favor but i think i think i [TS]

  think one reason people are nominally in [TS]

  a have yours for nominally been had the [TS]

  panties and a lot about christmas [TS]

  because it was excellent cover to drink [TS]

  and and if they didn't have that [TS]

  supernal buy-in then they would just [TS]

  seem like a bunch of drunks but I mean [TS]

  you look at what what is Christmas been [TS]

  for like 200 years in the West it's been [TS]

  about parties really certainly has been [TS]

  about its been to a certain extent has [TS]

  been about charity and stuff like that [TS]

  but I [TS]

  in it the the birth of the Christian [TS]

  Savior has not been at the center of [TS]

  Christmas for over a century and to act [TS]

  any differently is just not sensible or [TS]

  historically accurate there's always [TS]

  been people who are very loud about [TS]

  being mad that it's not more that way [TS]

  but I don't think that's the way most [TS]

  people do it sure there's tons of Jesus [TS]

  that Jesus everywhere but but but look [TS]

  what he was you no actually you know I'm [TS]

  just saying passing my wife has a really [TS]

  wackadoodle name for the manger scene [TS]

  i've never heard she calls it a crash [TS]

  yeah that's the name for I've never [TS]

  heard that I was totally Christian I've [TS]

  never heard that crash [TS]

  yeah i thought that was the guy at the [TS]

  compound no no not correct crash [TS]

  yeah I ever heard it's a woman in our [TS]

  home SS Christians it's a thing that it [TS]

  the the crash became one of the bones of [TS]

  contention in the last 20 years because [TS]

  it used to be that you would have a [TS]

  crash in front of every small town City [TS]

  Hall i should do and then people were [TS]

  mad because it was government property [TS]

  in government [TS]

  it was you know government-sponsored [TS]

  crash and I have actually seen her you [TS]

  in small towns where instead of a very [TS]

  abstract instead of taking away abstract [TS]

  like this i have i've seen somewhere [TS]

  where different characters have been [TS]

  added to try and take away the sting [TS]

  I'm sorry LIC well I haven't seen that [TS]

  like what so you know your bond it's [TS]

  like a Wookiee there [TS]

  mm then you know Marilyn Monroe is there [TS]

  pretty soon it's like out there [TS]

  what's going on I don't know what's [TS]

  going on here does he'll everyone's [TS]

  we're like I think they're trying to [TS]

  like get it in like under the radar [TS]

  screen where it used to be when I was a [TS]

  kid you would have literal people [TS]

  sitting in a tableau with an angelic you [TS]

  know usually fake baby sitting there [TS]

  baby couldn't do that kind of work you [TS]

  have to use twins right it would be like [TS]

  yeah you know in Hollywood but but no it [TS]

  became more and more abstract until it [TS]

  was creepy like was just like you know [TS]

  just completely iconic but it was just [TS]

  like 18 bowling pins all arranged [TS]

  exactly in a rush of the box and a camel [TS]

  but I don't know this gyre I've read a [TS]

  story of the day of [TS]

  where was I think was Oklahoma that [TS]

  successfully basically with private [TS]

  funding had allowed a 10 commandments [TS]

  did you read about this attend [TS]

  Commandments to be put all right in the [TS]

  center of the court or the Statehouse [TS]

  right yeah and you hear one single time [TS]

  no Satanists oh they do this later and [TS]

  Commandments this ad and they're going [TS]

  to race twice as much money 20,000 [TS]

  instead of ten thousand dollars to put [TS]

  up their own thing to to the memory of [TS]

  the memory to the historical and [TS]

  literary Satan [TS]

  oh sure not they're not talking about [TS]

  the fallen angel that used to sit at the [TS]

  right hand of God they are talking about [TS]

  the literary Satan yeah yeah yeah I [TS]

  don't think I guess they could get a guy [TS]

  in a red suit with a pitchfork I don't [TS]

  know I i I just I you know I know you're [TS]

  a thinker and you think and I think even [TS]

  just an Oklahoma big-time well and [TS]

  that's that turns out that's the irony [TS]

  is that in trying to railroad that [TS]

  through this kind of snickering haha and [TS]

  you know now we really got him way [TS]

  they've opened the door to all this [TS]

  other stuff but i don't i don't know i [TS]

  mean i think it's together for this so [TS]

  two quick things in passing at first was [TS]

  always well in my late later adult years [TS]

  I've always thought it's kind of strange [TS]

  that we have this incredibly solemn [TS]

  occasion in the dead of winter to [TS]

  celebrate the birth of Jesus and then [TS]

  you've got you got the Easter Bunny and [TS]

  eggs and the Virgin see of of spring to [TS]

  celebrate his truly truly horrible [TS]

  crucifixion death right but he comes [TS]

  back that's true yeah and the thing [TS]

  about hit the thing about his a perfect [TS]

  Brian the dog to on the Family Guy show [TS]

  you anything about his birth of course [TS]

  is that it is the shortest day of the [TS]

  year and then the day start getting [TS]

  longer like he is born and also the the [TS]

  year is born we are like born again in [TS]

  the Sun Sun is back coming slowly [TS]

  that's a good point it's a baby son on [TS]

  december twenty fifth and then the Sun [TS]

  is going to grow to become the adult son [TS]

  of summer so it's all very like it's all [TS]

  very tree forests chapel people [TS]

  it's very tree people for jobs people [TS]

  but i love this guy it's and and then of [TS]

  course in spring that's when you really [TS]

  want to [TS]

  that's when you want to die die a [TS]

  gruesome and disfiguring death in the [TS]

  Sun and then then be reborn three days [TS]

  later [TS]

  yeah i mean that's just it's i don't [TS]

  even have to explain what that's a [TS]

  metaphor [TS]

  okay how about this tell me if you're on [TS]

  board with this part to you think about [TS]

  sitting around in that darkroom like you [TS]

  know feeling like an idiot going like [TS]

  wherewhere is there i'm opening my I'm [TS]

  opening myself up to the idea that [TS]

  there's this bigger thing that I should [TS]

  be a better person and you open up and [TS]

  there's all that stuff I think a huge [TS]

  part of Christmas is feeling like shit i [TS]

  think i think what we must accept and [TS]

  not just purely from strictly from like [TS]

  a aid if you like same mental health [TS]

  standpoint but i think we also need to [TS]

  realize there's something inherently [TS]

  extremely sad about Christmas there's [TS]

  something very there's so much nostalgia [TS]

  that people would you think about who's [TS]

  dead and not there anymore i think [TS]

  that's that's what people don't [TS]

  acknowledge that's what's ironic to me [TS]

  in some ways it's like okay well you [TS]

  know believe what you want to believe if [TS]

  you want to go get deals on amazon deals [TS]

  on amazon whatever black friday whatever [TS]

  it is you want to do like investor thing [TS]

  let that be your thing christmas lights [TS]

  whatever that is but also let's [TS]

  acknowledge that it's a very depressing [TS]

  time of year for a lot of people [TS]

  yeah and and I think that's what gets [TS]

  lost to me that's the healthy part is [TS]

  not that I can't get my get my college [TS]

  educated brain around the idea of you [TS]

  know the the the wizard in the sky [TS]

  sending his son down to save us then die [TS]

  it's it's much more like I think it's a [TS]

  bummer that we don't acknowledge hell [TS]

  morose and well yes mawkish but also [TS]

  just just depressing Christmases it's [TS]

  really depressing you'll never do it [TS]

  right [TS]

  your kid my kid will never be happy [TS]

  enough at what we bought her as a gift [TS]

  she'll never be into these things as [TS]

  much as would make me happy i would love [TS]

  for more of my family who's dead to be [TS]

  around to see this and I think that's [TS]

  what people don't aren't comfortable [TS]

  acknowledging they feel like they should [TS]

  be all up and Pepe and wearing a silly [TS]

  sweater and feeling great all the time [TS]

  when I think most of us are stressed out [TS]

  and freaky and depressed a lot of the [TS]

  time I mean I'm not a depressive person [TS]

  but it does make me very [TS]

  it's not solemn what's the word [TS]

  reflective about like what I've lost in [TS]

  life following melancholy yeah like the [TS]

  kind of reflect on what I've lost and [TS]

  we'll never get back Merry Christmas [TS]

  that's what I think about and i think i [TS]

  think most people are uncomfortable [TS]

  admitting that because I feel like [TS]

  they're being a holiday karma sock I i [TS]

  think that one of the one of the themes [TS]

  though the running themes in my life had [TS]

  I got a car here is that what a growing [TS]

  up in Alaska there is always a there's [TS]

  always somebody who is more of an [TS]

  outdoorsman then you write and a greater [TS]

  Yeti theory there is there there is [TS]

  always somebody who is like who has [TS]

  slept outside more nights and that is a [TS]

  that is a a hierarchy that goes all the [TS]

  way up to the literal Grizzly Adams 'as [TS]

  who make a living [TS]

  trapping animals in the winter with [TS]

  homemade snares and so all you have to [TS]

  do is spend one night outside in the [TS]

  dead of winter in Alaska to realize that [TS]

  you that that living in the city living [TS]

  in your house you are not living the [TS]

  same life at all as someone who is [TS]

  living on the on the ragged edge of [TS]

  survival [TS]

  oh yeah and although although you prefer [TS]

  the comfort the fact is that in those [TS]

  moments when you are outside at night in [TS]

  the wilderness in the winter there is a [TS]

  solemnity to life that that we do that [TS]

  we take great pains to eliminate you [TS]

  know we build we build houses we heat [TS]

  them from inside we keep we leave the [TS]

  lights on all night and all of that is [TS]

  to banish this this thing that we've [TS]

  talked about you and I many many times [TS]

  this feeling that the that the stars are [TS]

  ambivalent to you the feeling that [TS]

  you're going to fall off the earth [TS]

  the feeling that you know and and it [TS]

  isn't just it isn't just a feeling of [TS]

  profound aloneness it is like the it is [TS]

  the core feeling of profundity at its [TS]

  heart you know and these guys who are [TS]

  living out in the wilderness they are in [TS]

  touch with the the immensity and the the [TS]

  immensity of creation but also the [TS]

  enormity of it and being exposed to it [TS]

  as much as I have which is not that much [TS]

  being a you know an Alaskan and sort of [TS]

  like dragged out into the wilderness and [TS]

  then left standing rooted in spot [TS]

  looking up at the Milky Way and feeling [TS]

  like oh fuck like not only is the Milky [TS]

  Way there but it's also 40 below zero [TS]

  and right though and the woods are full [TS]

  of predators and uh and my friends have [TS]

  left me like I am I am so out of the out [TS]

  of the realm of like black friday right [TS]

  now and into a very different kind of [TS]

  black friday a black ass and so so [TS]

  that's and laminated he is a thing that [TS]

  I want to impart not just too much to [TS]

  people who are close to me but i want to [TS]

  share that with everybody I meet because [TS]

  I feel like most of us who live in the [TS]

  live in the present world are all are [TS]

  almost completely divorced from it and a [TS]

  lot of people have never experienced it [TS]

  or or they have experienced it in the it [TS]

  that one time somebody drove the car up [TS]

  a dirt road and turn the lights off and [TS]

  they all got out of the car looked at [TS]

  the stars for a minute it's kind of [TS]

  bleakness tourism the right or or you're [TS]

  just like Oh fine and and it's it's even [TS]

  more scary and awesome because you have [TS]

  no context for it and then you're like [TS]

  get back in the car turn the heater on [TS]

  and turn the fucking radio on and get me [TS]

  back to the work to the the world that I [TS]

  understand which is one with a roof on [TS]

  it [TS]

  and so that's that celebrity whatever [TS]

  that is that connection with that [TS]

  feeling of smallness and the feeling of [TS]

  like the yawn in truth that we live on a [TS]

  ball and we don't know why and and to [TS]

  not think about that every day is is [TS]

  just a factor of having drowned that out [TS]

  with a lot of high pitch noise you know [TS]

  that that 200 years ago we would have [TS]

  been confronted with it every day [TS]

  because we would have been out plowing [TS]

  at or if we wanted to go somewhere after [TS]

  dark we would there you know you can [TS]

  hear the wolves at the edge of town and [TS]

  now we have grounded out but we've [TS]

  grounded out almost entirely with static [TS]

  and 22 miss it to miss out on it is to [TS]

  miss out on that the thing about [TS]

  something very very core about something [TS]

  as real as as can be that maybe isn't [TS]

  even there in the summer or is there in [TS]

  a different way in the summer since this [TS]

  is definitely much harder to get access [TS]

  to and and in winter you can leave your [TS]

  you can leave your like we have a [TS]

  solution of screens and our windows in [TS]

  San Francisco you just open up your [TS]

  windows you know whenever you feel like [TS]

  it and stuff can come in but that sense [TS]

  of like it mean in a way to use that [TS]

  word again you're talking about a kind [TS]

  of abstraction where we get more and [TS]

  more layers of comfort and security that [TS]

  can make us that on the one hand make us [TS]

  feel safe and secure and warm and all [TS]

  those things but also are meant to make [TS]

  us feel like we'll never have that [TS]

  probation and will never and [TS]

  consequently i think that's kind of what [TS]

  you're saying that we'll never have to [TS]

  confront that existential void will let [TS]

  alone the fact that you know it's like [TS]

  the difference between you know [TS]

  sprinting kind of like playing around in [TS]

  a little tidal pool versus understanding [TS]

  like what a wave can do to you [TS]

  like that's like that you know the kind [TS]

  of like that's the cold is like water in [TS]

  that sense it's like you don't realize [TS]

  like how incredibly harsh the world is [TS]

  natively how harsh our existence [TS]

  ultimately is and so you know if you get [TS]

  enough christmas sweaters eventually you [TS]

  won't have to think about it want to [TS]

  imagine all the the people that we know [TS]

  who our astronomy buff space nerds who [TS]

  interact with space primarily by looking [TS]

  at hubbell photos on the internet or you [TS]

  know a at and how although those Hubble [TS]

  photos and space photos and episode of [TS]

  cosmos are all extraordinary the [TS]

  difference between looking at the most [TS]

  detailed photos you know color-enhanced [TS]

  photograph of distant nebula is compared [TS]

  to standing out on a cold night and [TS]

  peering into a telescope at a blurry [TS]

  picture of satire blurry view of Saturn [TS]

  which is in some ways like pales in [TS]

  comparison but on the other hand if [TS]

  you've ever done if you've ever stood [TS]

  out in the cold shivering looking at [TS]

  Saturn through a telescope you know that [TS]

  it is in a way infinitely more profound [TS]

  than looking at these pictures of deep [TS]

  space in on a computer because you [TS]

  you're actually conscious of the [TS]

  distance and your conscious of the goal [TS]

  of the void and of the fact that it's [TS]

  real it's not a special effect it's not [TS]

  a game i can't look up into the night [TS]

  sky without feeling [TS]

  terror i guess and it's not a it's not a [TS]

  terror that's uncomfortable it's like a [TS]

  it's like a terror in it in a Greek [TS]

  sense of like why do we not all feel [TS]

  terror all the time why why shouldn't we [TS]

  we should be terrified we live on a [TS]

  freaking ball and that should be a lot [TS]

  scarier [TS]

  I feel like and I feel like it was scary [TS]

  it was very scary until very recently [TS]

  well you you've got in in describing [TS]

  that you've got a lot of the core [TS]

  realization that people get in a [TS]

  religious setting without the supernal [TS]

  influence [TS]

  yeah you got that sense of immensity the [TS]

  the god that's bigger than god there's [TS]

  something that we can't get a name for [TS]

  this bigger than you know that's be able [TS]

  Cartesian but something that's bigger if [TS]

  it's if we can imagine it that's not the [TS]

  thing it's something bigger than that [TS]

  it's something that has so much in [TS]

  Normandy and and if you don't feel small [TS]

  you're not thinking hard enough so and [TS]

  it's one of the reasons that I couldn't [TS]

  it's one of the reasons that when I when [TS]

  I think to myself I should have been a [TS]

  physicist it was the thing that I wanted [TS]

  to do and what what stopped me was that [TS]

  in such in such quick succession it was [TS]

  so easy to get myself into a place where [TS]

  i was asking questions that couldn't be [TS]

  answered and that i had to content [TS]

  myself with discovering answers to [TS]

  questions that were further up the food [TS]

  chain like and I couldn't I couldn't be [TS]

  content seeking seeking something small [TS]

  flagstones I'm [TS]

  but that's really where I you know [TS]

  really where I would I would want to be [TS]

  and it's it's so sad it's so sad to know [TS]

  that we won't know that we cannot know [TS]

  yeah it's such a mean that the [TS]

  melancholy in feeling like there are [TS]

  that we just can't know even the next [TS]

  scale up right now yeah totally [TS]

  the and the more the more you know the [TS]

  more you realize you can't know it's yes [TS]

  what back serious musicians basics like [TS]

  religion for atheists in some ways yeah [TS]

  right but the I don't know I feel I feel [TS]

  I feel like maybe I should just turn on [TS]

  my mp3 player and see if the kings of [TS]

  leon have a new track i thought they had [TS]

  long hair i'm really confused they might [TS]

  have strictly might have cutting saw [TS]

  them on the internet live and I think [TS]

  they must have I think they must have [TS]

  lost their hair at JFK or something they [TS]

  they they were very short [TS]

  I you know I had longer a couple years [TS]

  ago and then I I cut it because it [TS]

  seemed like the only thing i was i'm [TS]

  supposed to do that day huh [TS]

  like how was I supposed to do alright [TS]

  cut off this hair and now I feel like oh [TS]

  what a dummy i would have I could have [TS]

  four feet of hair right now year long [TS]

  hair with all due respect to to a man [TS]

  that I really respect just sartorially [TS]

  really in every way it was creepy your [TS]

  hair creepy creepy creepy is creepy the [TS]

  word you want to use I crazier like cool [TS]

  features like you were you looking for [TS]

  yeah yeah probably cool that's probably [TS]

  you know 61 creepier the other three [TS]

  people on me creepy and well it was the [TS]

  two thoughts John yeah okay the missing [TS]

  tooth is creating you know it'sit's you [TS]

  know if you got the baking soda and you [TS]

  got the vinegar and as long as you keep [TS]

  them apart you don't have a volcano but [TS]

  you man that combination that picture of [TS]

  you with with my daughter is still one [TS]

  of my favorite things because in any [TS]

  kind of part in the middle in a real [TS]

  real Jesus kind of way to up [TS]

  you get a lot of hair you you end up it [TS]

  parts itself in the middle that's the [TS]

  thing it is that right yeah because of [TS]

  the weight [TS]

  yeah you can you can try and like [TS]

  partied different places but eventually [TS]

  it's gonna just it's gonna it's gonna [TS]

  fall into that Roseanne Roseannadanna [TS]

  huh [TS]

  oh I you know I've been five been [TS]

  playing at having slightly longer hair [TS]

  and its really not working out [TS]

  really yeah i mean it just does not look [TS]

  good on a man my age and I'm long hair [TS]

  not long hair but i couldn't i don't [TS]

  think i could get too long here I just I [TS]

  couldn't take it [TS]

  I'm not kissing your ass when I say that [TS]

  I have never seen you with a hairstyle [TS]

  or a or a version of like scruffy scruff [TS]

  that I didn't think was cool [TS]

  oh God thank you John that means the [TS]

  world to me i I'm my hair is atrocious [TS]

  right now [TS]

  sometimes your hair is short sometimes [TS]

  it's long sometimes it's must be [TS]

  sometimes it's much easier I guess we [TS]

  talking like a serious communication [TS]

  problems with my operator and i've got i [TS]

  needed i need to look I hate to say it I [TS]

  i have to go take a look at some other [TS]

  options your your opera you mean the man [TS]

  who sits in a little chair and drives [TS]

  the Merlin from inside I can talk about [TS]

  Doctor Who your other side now though [TS]

  the the lady who who cuts my hair [TS]

  oh and that's $12 haircut and believe me [TS]

  before she does not owe me a nickel it's [TS]

  anyway it's I should do something about [TS]

  it [TS]

  let's see this is the beauty of you you [TS]

  know being a professional entertainer is [TS]

  you can do things like that and it'll be [TS]

  entertaining to people if you get along [TS]

  here [TS]

  yeah yeah well and the thing about long [TS]

  hair on a man my size is it instantly [TS]

  conjures arrest Putin like severity I [TS]

  think that's your personality [TS]

  oh really no I mean on a bad way but [TS]

  you're here be right [TS]

  no no I mean I think it's very [TS]

  flattering i think you have a very [TS]

  intimidating presence to begin with but [TS]

  when you have a deliberately missing [TS]

  tooth you know and like shoulder-length [TS]

  hair [TS]

  yeah yeah i think people start really [TS]

  imagine themselves in a garbage bag you [TS]

  know when they see that coming [TS]

  yeah although I wouldn't waste a garbage [TS]

  bag on most people know right yeah I [TS]

  feel like what the garbage bag is just [TS]

  something that the raccoons are going to [TS]

  have to tear through it might as well [TS]

  just save everybody the pollution and [TS]

  just just put the body in a river [TS]

  oh that's what Mesa environmental recipe [TS]

  eaten up [TS]

  yeah i-i've been thinking a lot about [TS]

  the life of an entertainer lately [TS]

  because unfortunately or rather [TS]

  fortunately I have a lot of big plans [TS]

  now I'm feeling better and I'm feeling [TS]

  like like engaging but as you know [TS]

  feeling like engaging and engaging em [TS]

  are uh are different and engaging even [TS]

  engagement is a process that it's a it's [TS]

  an everyday process i wake up yesterday [TS]

  and I engage and then I wake up today [TS]

  and I forget to you nothing quite as [TS]

  engag and then it's like oh fuck i have [TS]

  to do this every day I talking about [TS]

  like like like pulling your you like one [TS]

  reason our listeners mean I know we [TS]

  haven't had a recording a while is [TS]

  partly because you've been even [TS]

  traveling a lot [TS]

  I've been working well yeah we're [TS]

  traveling for traveling for like you're [TS]

  always working in some way John Thank [TS]

  You Merlin I think you're out there [TS]

  playing on the field even if there's no [TS]

  crop really well with what the show up [TS]

  every day right idea of shots i shall [TS]

  show up one of the things our listeners [TS]

  should be made aware of is that you and [TS]

  I are going to do a live version of [TS]

  rather come let me take a minute a [TS]

  little bit by the sponsor today haha [TS]

  yeah we're gonna do that now [TS]

  di Denton Cisco's sketchfest hm we are [TS]

  going to be underpaid and over used at [TS]

  sketchfest well that's just the nature [TS]

  of the festival of all festivals until [TS]

  you reach a certain point where you are [TS]

  overpaid and under you as my carne [TS]

  carnies really just do it for the love [TS]

  of the craft that's why they think well [TS]

  they loved the game didn't you have [TS]

  those I mean I this is more [TS]

  kind of breaking the 56 wall here but [TS]

  when is that should tell people about [TS]

  though it's at the end of january so [TS]

  we're doing two shows the 30th and 31st [TS]

  in San Francisco live but it has it is [TS]

  the idea of of agreeing to do those [TS]

  shows has in me ignited a feeling that [TS]

  you know and I in you and I have talked [TS]

  about it a feeling that we should we [TS]

  should start to think about live [TS]

  performance as one of the things that we [TS]

  do [TS]

  yeah which is we should we should do the [TS]

  show we should just show live in [TS]

  different locations like a crazy night i [TS]

  agree i agree i I'd like to pre-announce [TS]

  but i think that's a very good idea i [TS]

  think this is a great way to kick-off RR [TS]

  jubilee year 2014 it's going to be here [TS]

  but this has this has been suggested to [TS]

  me that i should do a regular show [TS]

  because because playing these long [TS]

  winters reunion shows has reminded me [TS]

  that I am an electric guitar player and [TS]

  for the last few years i've been getting [TS]

  by [TS]

  strumming my acoustic guitar and singing [TS]

  which is the thing I enjoy but i am an [TS]

  electric guitar player especially when [TS]

  you say it that way I play the electric [TS]

  guitar do you play the guitar [TS]

  electrically is what you do likely shit [TS]

  out of the LA yes and the thing about [TS]

  having a rock band is it's very [TS]

  expensive to to house and feed all these [TS]

  people [TS]

  bunya and yet you have to keep you have [TS]

  to feed them you have to give them a [TS]

  place to sleep you get it they have to [TS]

  have their medicine after their medicine [TS]

  you have to talk nicely to them at a [TS]

  certain point every day to remind them [TS]

  that you like them and care about them [TS]

  and have to live with the constant [TS]

  expectation of apologies [TS]

  yeah you have to then sometimes somebody [TS]

  asked to go to the bathroom and [TS]

  everybody else doesn't have to go to the [TS]

  bathroom but we're going to tell me [TS]

  can't go to the bathroom [TS]

  no you have to pull over but all of that [TS]

  is necessary if you want to play the [TS]

  shit out of the electric guitar in front [TS]

  of people because nobody wants to see [TS]

  you do that in front of a drum machine [TS]

  anyway so i'm trying to think of like [TS]

  okay here here we are it's brand new [TS]

  year we're starting a new year this is [TS]

  gonna be do believe year want to start [TS]

  getting out there want to start [TS]

  performing and uh and then that just [TS]

  brings the whole it's just the whole [TS]

  glacier of performance starts calving [TS]

  off into the Bristol Bay of my all we [TS]

  had a little moment there [TS]

  wow where's my orange bell somebody [TS]

  stole my orange bell she could traveling [TS]

  and working has been in my house [TS]

  um but you know if you do it enough and [TS]

  you get paid for it is it's like a job [TS]

  that the pain in the ass part is we're [TS]

  in my experience the pain in the ass [TS]

  part is like having to go somewhere for [TS]

  like a day [TS]

  yeah well I see I'm trying to I'm trying [TS]

  to I'm trying to for this is the hard [TS]

  part trying to lower my expectations [TS]

  about money and return to a time when [TS]

  what I believed in was art and I [TS]

  remember many many long long passionate [TS]

  conversations with people in cafes / [TS]

  export a over pack of export a [TS]

  cigarettes and forty cups of coffee [TS]

  where we were talking about art and we [TS]

  meant it [TS]

  it was serious business and somewhere [TS]

  along the line there [TS]

  the word art got quotation marks around [TS]

  it because it was unseemly to talk about [TS]

  art if you were in the pop vernacular [TS]

  and then quotation marks got put around [TS]

  everything for many years they're cooked [TS]

  a trick and and now i'm trying to clear [TS]

  away this like snow storm of quotation [TS]

  marks and find whatever is there and [TS]

  whatever is behind this is blizzard and [TS]

  I want to you know like I want to care [TS]

  about I want to care about art and [TS]

  entertainment and figure once again as i [TS]

  used to figure that that that that not [TS]

  only will the money follow but even [TS]

  appreciation will follow people don't [TS]

  appreciate it at first some people do [TS]

  well I i think i actually reality so so [TS]

  you're not going to get you know can be [TS]

  like Santana just showing up and doing [TS]

  solos for your electric guitar playing [TS]

  what what's your what's your plan for [TS]

  doing a regular show is like what I was [TS]

  like what the guy that plays all the [TS]

  cattle are go that kind of thing you're [TS]

  going to do a good job Brian thing is [TS]

  that what you do is you host with your [TS]

  host an event school that's I don't [TS]

  think that doesn't have these huge doing [TS]

  Allentown and we're a little and John [TS]

  bryantown harmoniously where [TS]

  I that this is the thing I don't know [TS]

  that so there's a venue here in Seattle [TS]

  called the rendezvous which is a very [TS]

  small room it's probably it's it was [TS]

  built originally as a screening room [TS]

  because Seattle was a town where [TS]

  Hollywood movies in the twenties and [TS]

  thirties they would screen those movies [TS]

  here in Seattle before they went into [TS]

  wide release and so Seattle had a whole [TS]

  little constellation of tiny theaters [TS]

  clover built just to show Errol Flynn [TS]

  movies to a select crowd and judging on [TS]

  there you know based on their reaction [TS]

  then they would it do another editor [TS]

  whatever so they're always like a light [TS]

  on that test really like beta testers [TS]

  for airflow movies right and so they're [TS]

  there used to be a whole slew of these [TS]

  little like 5280 capacity theaters that [TS]

  were done in high egyptian-style and [TS]

  most of them are gone but the this one [TS]

  remains called the jewel box theater at [TS]

  the rendezvous it's a tiny little [TS]

  roommates where my music career got [TS]

  started we you know my first shows were [TS]

  all in this room because the way you [TS]

  would book it is you would walk into the [TS]

  bar and there'd be like four sailors and [TS]

  like to 60-year old floozies also you [TS]

  know sitting at the bar one guy would be [TS]

  smoking because at the time wait saw it [TS]

  was absolutely topics bond and you would [TS]

  walk in and there was a book on a on a [TS]

  lectern and you would flip the book to [TS]

  likes an open date and you just write [TS]

  your name on and that was how you book [TS]

  to show in this bar like we're playing [TS]

  here on Tuesday and play like the [TS]

  bartender wouldn't even not at you they [TS]

  just and then you would show up you [TS]

  would have to collect the money you have [TS]

  to have somebody to stand at the door [TS]

  collecting money and then you play the [TS]

  show and then you the bar didn't they [TS]

  didn't ask for a cut or whatever they [TS]

  just figured that all of the all of the [TS]

  the gimlets they were serving what was [TS]

  more than enough pay and [TS]

  is that really something from another [TS]

  century it was a great it was a great [TS]

  deal and a wonderful thing for the town [TS]

  and I think even now they fixed up the [TS]

  jewel box a little bit but I think even [TS]

  now it's not that hard to just walk in [TS]

  and say like I'm playing here but I've [TS]

  been thinking I should do a show there [TS]

  once a week but I don't know what it [TS]

  would be Merlin I honestly don't know [TS]

  what kind of show to do should i should [TS]

  i rant for an hour and then first I ran [TS]

  for 15 minutes and then play the [TS]

  electric guitar for an hour which is the [TS]

  ledges regroup should i should i should [TS]

  i ran for 20 minutes play for 20 minutes [TS]

  ran for 20 more minutes i think this is [TS]

  not complicated i can cut at some point [TS]

  John i would like to have a role in life [TS]

  showing you that things are not as [TS]

  complicated as they sink [TS]

  yeah I think you should go into a show [TS]

  and see how it goes and then try [TS]

  different [TS]

  different [TS]

  if that didn't work but a real real real [TS]

  easy one would be just going to do a [TS]

  show and see how it goes [TS]

  I told you off the record will cut this [TS]

  out not really is that I would be fine [TS]

  for us to alternate between our two [TS]

  cities every month San Francisco and [TS]

  Seattle yeah actually at a similar-sized [TS]

  together I think it's because doing that [TS]

  just sighed a sigh of like seven tonight [TS]

  I don't like to announce things but [TS]

  nobody but in your case I mean this is [TS]

  part of your art where you're not going [TS]

  to put quotation marks around it right [TS]

  now is that you just just go and do it [TS]

  just going to see what happens i mean [TS]

  you you can do some storytelling you can [TS]

  do some songs stuff you know it's a part [TS]

  of it is it like there's such a in my [TS]

  head anyway and i suspect him in a lot [TS]

  of people of a similar age it's your [TS]

  idea of like what a rock and roll show [TS]

  is which is it's a place where you go [TS]

  and like 225 bands play it starts late [TS]

  it's really loud it's rock and roll show [TS]

  and the thing is it doesn't need to be [TS]

  just that or it doesn't need to be some [TS]

  kind of ironic bow tie event like there [TS]

  could be something in between and that [TS]

  you know it gets its own definition [TS]

  based on who's doing the show and who [TS]

  starts coming to it a lot [TS]

  that's you know what I mean it's just [TS]

  there's i think if you if the [TS]

  expectations are that low there is known [TS]

  which is good [TS]

  the expectation should be low there [TS]

  shouldn't be any any thought that it's [TS]

  going to be you know sword swallowers [TS]

  and shit but like you know you can you [TS]

  could go and do some new songs do some [TS]

  storytelling have a guest you could you [TS]

  could interview someone you there are [TS]

  various things that you can do it could [TS]

  be John rock show [TS]

  yeah i was thinking about calling it [TS]

  John Rodricks rendezvous is it [TS]

  rendezvous Rondo's moods [TS]

  ok because you keep announcing it [TS]

  rendezvous and I like the idea that that [TS]

  it's like an old whore named him named [TS]

  Rhonda rendezvous individual yeah [TS]

  exactly it's all rendezvous no [TS]

  rendezvous [TS]

  well I i feel like the word rendezvous [TS]

  is a is a is a word with a great it has [TS]

  a great pedigree in Alaska because we [TS]

  have the fur around whom every winter [TS]

  where all the fur trappers come to town [TS]

  and well they used to come to town and [TS]

  sell their first [TS]

  sounds like a dragon that it actually [TS]

  there is a great component have to come [TS]

  to the fur on de foot there's a think [TS]

  that you have a thing called the miners [TS]

  and trappers ball which is I swear to [TS]

  you that absolute highlight of the [TS]

  Alaska social year they bring their [TS]

  homemade snares well if you can get a [TS]

  ticket to the minor and trappers ball [TS]

  now i'll put in with you it's like a [TS]

  heavy ticket you can't get good it right [TS]

  now I'm that the miners trapped these [TS]

  like serious like guys that they look [TS]

  like [TS]

  Nanook of the north or they're wearing [TS]

  the filson jackets like this is hardcore [TS]

  stuff [TS]

  well but it's become a socialite event [TS]

  like all of the all about heavy hitters [TS]

  up there all go in there big wolf [TS]

  jackets like you're supposed to wear [TS]

  your your full on Alaska finery but [TS]

  they're all in tuxedos there just in [TS]

  friend forever [TS]

  that's the wolf text accepted as a wolf [TS]

  tux but uh but the other it's a big deal [TS]

  up there and but for rendezvous has [TS]

  become a huge festival in Alaska they [TS]

  have they build up I ice castle they [TS]

  used to they used to have this amazing [TS]

  thing which was they would build they [TS]

  would build big snow berms in the [TS]

  streets downtown and they would have [TS]

  vintage car races on ice through the [TS]

  center of town and the way they kept the [TS]

  cars from crashing into buildings they [TS]

  just built snow berms up the side of the [TS]

  buildings start full it was really it [TS]

  was pretty amazing i don't know what [TS]

  they do that anymore about john de vous [TS]

  a John David too clever by half [TS]

  look cute yeah I feel like a little too [TS]

  you know that might that might be a [TS]

  something that fans say I go to the John [TS]

  de vous [TS]

  oh that's good yeah but i would have to [TS]

  keep it straight [TS]

  yeah i would have to be like John [TS]

  Roberts round of it like that even a [TS]

  wolf tuxedo though you know [TS]

  oh this is so infuriating to me a really [TS]

  good friend of mine a childhood friend [TS]

  of mine her father had a wolf a full-on [TS]

  like knee-length wolf jacket I i have no [TS]

  context for what wolf looks like when [TS]

  it's made into a wearable Pelt is it [TS]

  like is it like a law is it looks like [TS]

  dogs but dogs are facing dog let's talk [TS]

  sure absolutely no offense dr. coach [TS]

  it's a very full and in most cases kind [TS]

  of gray white the marks for people are [TS]

  betting it up it's a bit of much thicker [TS]

  Pelt than a dog sure um yeah but it's a [TS]

  dog [TS]

  basically it's a dog coat a full-length [TS]

  dog coat with the empty suite [TS]

  he had a full-length will wolf code and [TS]

  it was a vintage coat he had he bought [TS]

  it in the seventies and I think he [TS]

  bought it he bought it from David Green [TS]

  master for error and it was already an [TS]

  old coat anyway so he's got this coat [TS]

  and I was like uh you know I had an [TS]

  injury I am I on this code for many [TS]

  years [TS]

  sure who wouldn't and I talked to my [TS]

  friend and she's like oh my dad is [TS]

  selling his wolf coat and I said he's [TS]

  what [TS]

  like am I not like a son to him and so I [TS]

  so I contacted I'm like so the wolf coat [TS]

  like let's wrap and here's what he says [TS]

  you couldn't afford it who's strong [TS]

  thing and I was like I beg your pardon [TS]

  and then he puts on ebay and he was [TS]

  right i wish i could not have afforded [TS]

  it was it over a thousand dollars it was [TS]

  apparently a full-length wolf vintage [TS]

  wolf parka is a is an item of some [TS]

  of some prices goodness i just googled [TS]

  it are they all this peppy they're very [TS]

  well-seasoned so this one was on [TS]

  Alaska's not made from a single wolf no [TS]

  no a lot of wolves have to have to die [TS]

  to make the coat [TS]

  yes a lot of wolves had to be snared in [TS]

  the snow and gradually chew on their [TS]

  paws until they died to make a coat that [TS]

  beautiful my goodness there's a lot of [TS]

  wolves in this code looks like yeah and [TS]

  there and so it's an extraordinary [TS]

  garment it is not a thing that you're [TS]

  gonna wear around your gonna wear it [TS]

  when you wear the wolf code you are [TS]

  communicating to everybody that you are [TS]

  fucking lunatic and that seems like it'd [TS]

  be kinda like wearing a kilt like I've [TS]

  always thought that did to where the [TS]

  utility belt you must primarily step 0 [TS]

  you must be the person who enjoys [TS]

  talking about wearing a utility which in [TS]

  my experience hundred percent Venn [TS]

  diagram overflow especially if you wear [TS]

  a wolf coat you would be pretty into [TS]

  talking about your wolf coat [TS]

  well yeah unless unless you were also [TS]

  like swinging a baton or whatever like [TS]

  the wolf coat is either like come talk [TS]

  to me about my wool coat example or [TS]

  drill team or get the fuck out of my way [TS]

  right now all I like a big stick [TS]

  yeah yeah I'm talking about like like [TS]

  you you're you're basically carrying a [TS]

  cattle prod or whatever like a wolf code [TS]

  is not even a thing that you would like [TS]

  get in and out of a car wearing you just [TS]

  show up in the wolf code nobody knows [TS]

  how you got there when you leave at the [TS]

  end of the night you disappeared into [TS]

  the mist is kind of cool if you were [TS]

  pulled along on some kind of up a [TS]

  carriage by fearful wolves [TS]

  oh yeah or you had some years the [TS]

  bottoms of your shoes were like little [TS]

  wax snowboards and you just walked out [TS]

  and just think it sounds like it sounds [TS]

  like a DC villain it sounds like a [TS]

  Batman villain you know where you're [TS]

  basically like this like a fetishist [TS]

  right like like Batman has bat [TS]

  everything you know I'm saying that he's [TS]

  got ? so you can be like wolfman yeah [TS]

  you have two wolves party like right in [TS]

  front of the club [TS]

  there's your shoes or snowboard here you [TS]

  know out you're not going on a woman [TS]

  what you got hold of the reins and I [TS]

  just start pulling you down the street [TS]

  and you're just use some respect [TS]

  yeah oh my goodness and in to give a [TS]

  sense of like what if what it really [TS]

  finally went for I I these options hard [TS]

  to tell so it's definitely over a [TS]

  thousand you think it's this one this [TS]

  one was that was a primo wolf coat and I [TS]

  mean honestly I have to admit that I [TS]

  would be I would be hard-pressed to [TS]

  cabin occasion to wear it and I would be [TS]

  a little ashamed to wear but the idea [TS]

  that this will coat which had been in my [TS]

  basically in my extended family would go [TS]

  to some stranger so nice to be asked [TS]

  yeah some person in Chicago who's left [TS]

  I'm gonna werewolf code and musk paul [TS]

  allen yeah some some jagoff if I was a [TS]

  billionaire entrepreneur i would i would [TS]

  probably have a collection of a very [TS]

  overpriced embarrassing silly things [TS]

  that I didn't tell anybody about I could [TS]

  see having like a whole vault somewhere [TS]

  just just just full of exotic animal [TS]

  pelts [TS]

  well you know the the I hate to say this [TS]

  I really do [TS]

  I'm ashamed of myself for saying this [TS]

  right now but the mega millions lotto [TS]

  Merlin is up to 550 million dollars [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah and i went to the gas [TS]

  station [TS]

  I was driving in my car and I was like [TS]

  the lotto is 550 was in Florida but it's [TS]

  all its throughout the country now [TS]

  oh you can just anywhere you can just go [TS]

  buy one of those tickets yeah it's just [TS]

  that most of the winners are in florida [TS]

  well as losers because an overwhelming [TS]

  number of people who buy lottery tickets [TS]

  living room floor difference up but I so [TS]

  several years ago I had a thing where [TS]

  when when the lottery would get above [TS]

  300 million i would say you know I don't [TS]

  play the lottery but three let's say 300 [TS]

  million is my thresholds where if it's [TS]

  above 300 million i'm gonna buy a [TS]

  lottery ticket just because that is [TS]

  crazy money that is hilarious money and [TS]

  to win it would just be fucking [TS]

  hilarious like it might well be you [TS]

  you know if somebody's somebody's gotta [TS]

  win it right so anyway it's at 515 i'm [TS]

  driving down the street in my car and [TS]

  I'm like [TS]

  that's like five times what we gave you [TS]

  the contract isn't it it's that I is in [TS]

  its in its unfathomable bottom money it [TS]

  is even after even if you take the cash [TS]

  option and after taxes you're still [TS]

  gonna have three hundred million dollars [TS]

  that's a lot of money so I driving [TS]

  driving down the street and I'm like I'm [TS]

  it's over 300 million threshold and I'm [TS]

  just going to go buy a lottery ticket [TS]

  i'm just gonna do it I don't I I'm [TS]

  embarrassed and ashamed of myself alone [TS]

  in the car but here i go and i went into [TS]

  the gas station and the guy didn't look [TS]

  up from his phone he knew you were there [TS]

  she was speaking was playing angry birds [TS]

  and i was like i want to buy a lottery [TS]

  ticket he was like haha how much and I [TS]

  because i like to have everything [TS]

  explained to me every time I was like [TS]

  why don't you explain to me how it works [TS]

  and he's like seriously never raised his [TS]

  eyes up from the phone he was like [TS]

  dollar ticket and I said so not many [TS]

  people just going by 14 fine teehee [TS]

  there it's an investment in their future [TS]

  right and and so I'm like so if i buy [TS]

  one dollar gets me one number and two [TS]

  dollars gives me two numbers and he's [TS]

  like that's right [TS]

  and any man honestly my first thought is [TS]

  I know that the guy who sells me the [TS]

  ticket the gas station that sells me the [TS]

  ticket guy gets a cut and i'm already [TS]

  resented the money that I'm gonna have [TS]

  to get already accepting fucking 20 [TS]

  million dollars that this guy's gonna [TS]

  get if he sells me the winning ticket [TS]

  because he's not even he's not even [TS]

  participating in this one but then I do [TS]

  i do and even crazy thing I say five [TS]

  bucks and I get five tickets [TS]

  it's not that crazy I mean it's stupid [TS]

  to buy lottery tickets at all but if [TS]

  you're gonna do it you might as well buy [TS]

  a hundred well but this is the problem [TS]

  because how do you think i did get the [TS]

  500 million that makes you think that's [TS]

  right they get from people going and [TS]

  spending their patrons that but i'm [TS]

  thinking if you're gonna buy a symbolic [TS]

  lottery ticket [TS]

  how do you buy five symbolic watery [TS]

  tickets you have just cut the symbolism [TS]

  in fifths through but it still the same [TS]

  size pie but wait so you're saying [TS]

  that's not enough for too many think you [TS]

  should just get one I think you should [TS]

  just get one because Lolich lottery [TS]

  tickets right [TS]

  your you that the chances of winning are [TS]

  not the point [TS]

  oh you're paranoid i have luck you're [TS]

  saying you know I'm fucking care if i [TS]

  was just it's it's reached the point [TS]

  where it's nominally sensible for me to [TS]

  try and make 300 million dollars by [TS]

  going to the gas station so I will go [TS]

  ahead and kick in one dollar I'm not an [TS]

  idiot like I've off by five and you're [TS]

  not gonna go by like a block with other [TS]

  folks from your office yeah like you [TS]

  want if you're trying to reduce your [TS]

  your your odds or whatever you could buy [TS]

  a million of them and still have no [TS]

  chance of winning [TS]

  I just I just I don't even I didn't take [TS]

  coupons at walgreens you get chased out [TS]

  of my daughter were chased out of the [TS]

  store yesterday by the guy at the [TS]

  counter because he given me some kind of [TS]

  something-something ten dollar coupon [TS]

  and there's never been a coupon that [TS]

  wasn't like for suckers [TS]

  it was this was this so they live test I [TS]

  don't have my glasses with me [TS]