Roderick on the Line

Ep. 91: "Roller Derby Boyfriend"

 

  hello hi John [TS]

  hi Marilyn that's gone [TS]

  m2m things are going good i'm i'm i'm [TS]

  sitting here dressed in my my Hawkeye [TS]

  Pierce outfit which is to say a a wet [TS]

  kimono baseball hat from merrill field [TS]

  airport [TS]

  hmm some sleep but ugh slippers how you [TS]

  recently bathed [TS]

  yeah just got a little bathroom i got [TS]

  about the specifically to do this [TS]

  broadcast I kind of the things that you [TS]

  give up for this challenge I know you [TS]

  want the time to find some kind of [TS]

  thirsty or apparel no no I'm fine I'm [TS]

  just you know I'm I'm off-gassing a [TS]

  little bit and just just getting in the [TS]

  zone [TS]

  oh it's it like silky my skin your [TS]

  kimono [TS]

  oh no it's a you know it's a cotton [TS]

  kimono up you know just various shades [TS]

  of blue flowers large blue flowers I i'm [TS]

  not i'm not i really here's what i want [TS]

  i want to live in a world where I [TS]

  dressing kimonos but i do not live in [TS]

  that world it's another world I want to [TS]

  live in that I don't live in what you [TS]

  mean like where people wouldn't look ask [TS]

  ask if you go to the bank to cash check [TS]

  and you're wearing a white kimono [TS]

  nobody's gonna say anything [TS]

  well you know I wouldn't wear wet kimono [TS]

  to the bank not at first but like a big [TS]

  like a big kimono and some like wooden [TS]

  sandals and just sort of you know but [TS]

  not i wouldn't we have a topknot or [TS]

  anything i've been wearing a baseball [TS]

  hat like a normal guy but just like in a [TS]

  in a serious warrior kimono but what you [TS]

  know people with people would give me [TS]

  the hairy eyeball on I get that enough [TS]

  and now is that your typical bounced on [TS]

  me day i'm interested in robes [TS]

  yeah he told me to yeah because I don't [TS]

  know I feel I feel kind of guilty when [TS]

  I'm wearing a robe for too long really [TS]

  not guilty is the wrong word i feel [TS]

  self-conscious [TS]

  Yeah right sure indulgence I guess yeah [TS]

  and so it's just the usual is the robe [TS]

  invite you if you can say is this the [TS]

  robe that you would use to prowl your [TS]

  perimeter carrying a sword [TS]

  no no let me walk you through the robes [TS]

  the the longest robe the [TS]

  longest-standing robe if not the longest [TS]

  in length is a Pendleton row but that [TS]

  belonged to my dad that is made out of [TS]

  like the scrap the scratchy istanbul you [TS]

  would not you would not make a blanket [TS]

  for a horse out of this wall is so [TS]

  scratchy but for some reason Pendleton [TS]

  made it into a robe probably in the [TS]

  authorities my dad had this whole life [TS]

  then I stole it from him and and it was [TS]

  an expression of like literally a [TS]

  hairshirt i would put on this robe gotta [TS]

  hit the head and then you're you're like [TS]

  a wet horse at that point that's the [TS]

  opposite of getting comfortable [TS]

  yeah you would be in a scratchy robe and [TS]

  you would walk around and kind of feel [TS]

  like yes yes even if you've had some [TS]

  corporeal sins through the day but you'd [TS]

  like to relax and play some videogames [TS]

  you put on your your horse hair shirt [TS]

  horse road yeah I I it's like the bath [TS]

  soothes you and then like jumping into a [TS]

  cold pond you jump into a harsh robe who [TS]

  totally harsh robe so then i said then [TS]

  sometime as after I grew to adulthood I [TS]

  was like I don't have to wear this robe [TS]

  all the time [TS]

  this is a robe to wear over silk pajamas [TS]

  where the scratchiness of it isn't a [TS]

  factor so then I got a a white [TS]

  terrycloth robe like you would steal [TS]

  from a hotel [TS]

  whoo that's what I have yeah and I wear [TS]

  that for a long time except the sleeves [TS]

  were too short [TS]

  ok so then i bought a blu terrycloth [TS]

  robe and I made the classic mistake I do [TS]

  this all the time i bought a double-xl [TS]

  thinking that the sleeves were too short [TS]

  in the old robe i'm going to get a [TS]

  double XL [TS]

  and um and that's gonna you know that's [TS]

  gonna fit me properly but in fact in [TS]

  fact I look like Rasputin in this thing [TS]

  the sleeves are four feet too long [TS]

  it's made for a 500 pound man that's [TS]

  comfort country but that is the road but [TS]

  that's the category area though you [TS]

  think it's going to be more comfortable [TS]

  because it's really big but but that's a [TS]

  little too big [TS]

  yeah exactly like wizard sleeves but it [TS]

  was leaves [TS]

  I mean a peter the great would lop off [TS]

  my beard if he caught me in this robe [TS]

  but uh but this is the road by we're out [TS]

  into the yard this is the yard robe [TS]

  ok because it wraps around you like a [TS]

  Snuggie it's like going out into the [TS]

  yard like in a terrycloth house and and [TS]

  it's also midnight like in cotton yurt [TS]

  yeah it's like you get exactly i could [TS]

  pull it up over my head and build a [TS]

  cooking fire but it's midnight blue also [TS]

  sort exactly something like Hammacher [TS]

  Schlemmer would come up with for [TS]

  christmas time I i forget what the brand [TS]

  of this thing is but it's it's something [TS]

  like that it's like it's its design it's [TS]

  basically designed for you and a friend [TS]

  but admits that i have tested it and [TS]

  raccoons cannot see it it's like it's [TS]

  like a certain color and it has a kind [TS]

  of shark skin quality that raccoons just [TS]

  think it's like leaves blowing in the [TS]

  wind [TS]

  that's Andy and they'll walk right up on [TS]

  you because sometimes you want to be [TS]

  seen but then other times you want to be [TS]

  able to move with some stealth if you [TS]

  want to do some reconnaissance exactly i [TS]

  don't know the kimonos are recent that [TS]

  I've just been started classes for John [TS]

  time that's just exactly that's for me I [TS]

  got a less is not very interesting but [TS]

  yeah we went to on our honeymoon on the [TS]

  honey on our honeymoon with our moms and [TS]

  and that we like the robe so much that [TS]

  our moms on the sly bodice the first of [TS]

  all that was at some Victorian gasthaus [TS]

  gasps howls gasps house up in sonoma [TS]

  county you're good yeah i got it was got [TS]

  that place is amazing but yeah I feel [TS]

  real real girly in it or or just people [TS]

  oh I'm not well y'know I mean I get by [TS]

  but yeah it's very big very thirsty very [TS]

  comfortable [TS]

  it's nice for coming out of the shower [TS]

  but you let me let me ask you this year [TS]

  your offices within a block of your [TS]

  house would you walk to your office from [TS]

  your house in this road oh my gosh that [TS]

  is such a good question right because I [TS]

  wasn't going to say anything but I'm hmm [TS]

  I should cut this out i have noticed it [TS]

  was occurring to me today when I came to [TS]

  the office and I'd like to you know I [TS]

  you know how triangulation works you [TS]

  don't really too much richer but I [TS]

  measured the time that it took when I [TS]

  got this office and I could easily [TS]

  listen to to like basically the first [TS]

  two verses of thunder road is the amount [TS]

  of time it takes me to go between the [TS]

  two places I know your fan right and [TS]

  it's very very close and it occurred to [TS]

  me that like I've been at resorts and [TS]

  large hotels where we take me far more [TS]

  time to walk to the lobby of the hotel [TS]

  that it takes me soon as I gotta go I [TS]

  gotta do an internet thing right like a [TS]

  TV related thing that's all I'm going to [TS]

  say I gotta go do something at the [TS]

  office and i have to tell you it this is [TS]

  only really happened in the last 2-3 [TS]

  weeks and I find the same way too much [TS]

  my sartorial decisions for ambling [TS]

  toward the office are getting more and [TS]

  more informal uh-uh I don't know why [TS]

  it's so this is funny timing because it [TS]

  like for the last whatever for four [TS]

  years I've had this office I would [TS]

  always go get dressed like a gentleman [TS]

  to go to the office i'll put on my holy [TS]

  pants or whatever but yeah I have to [TS]

  tell you like I've been sliding into [TS]

  sweatpants territory to go to the office [TS]

  well everybody on that block has seen [TS]

  you go buy a million times they they [TS]

  know you're you belong there [TS]

  that's so freaky when that happens so [TS]

  why not start just wearing a garbage bag [TS]

  with armholes it doesn't breathe bad [TS]

  trip [TS]

  well I you know that's funny you should [TS]

  say that too because I've also noticed [TS]

  more often people saying things like oh [TS]

  I saw you the other day [TS]

  uh-huh like my lady at the KFC she'll [TS]

  say I I see you walking by and I never [TS]

  encouraged me to people can see me [TS]

  walking by so I don't even know who sees [TS]

  me and I've been i I've been here long [TS]

  enough now that people are probably seen [TS]

  me but people soon you but I i think i [TS]

  turned a corner in the last week or so I [TS]

  was really really i think yeah obviously [TS]

  mention you last week I was really [TS]

  really sick and we could go today [TS]

  and I think my standards slip even [TS]

  further I did something I never ever [TS]

  ever do and now I'm definitely saying [TS]

  too much I started going to the office [TS]

  without my wallet [TS]

  oh sure why would you need it i got my [TS]

  phone and listen because I'm usually [TS]

  listen to music or podcast and that's in [TS]

  a jacket sleeve jacket pocket because [TS]

  you know more in sweatpants but then I [TS]

  don't even bother I just my question [TS]

  John is like where will I be in say two [TS]

  and a half months right well that's what [TS]

  I'm saying it's just going to be you in [TS]

  roller blades with the dish towel [TS]

  wrapped around your waist that's a good [TS]

  smart look but the thing is going to the [TS]

  office without your wallet that puts you [TS]

  in a problematic situation what if you [TS]

  suddenly need two chili dogs [TS]

  that's a really good point yeah back to [TS]

  the house to keep it to keep a bucket of [TS]

  change there at the desk [TS]

  it's not it's not often the money thing [TS]

  is is that that's a very good question [TS]

  it's not even the money thing it's that [TS]

  and I i berate my beloved wife about [TS]

  this because she just like sometimes [TS]

  goes out of the house without all the [TS]

  kit and i'm a big believer you know I [TS]

  carry a backpack that giant backpack [TS]

  everywhere i go i'm always got [TS]

  everything with me I've got several [TS]

  forms of identification I've got cash I [TS]

  got cards I've always gotta have several [TS]

  if you want to talk about I several [TS]

  heuristics for make sure I don't lose [TS]

  things that are extremely interesting [TS]

  phenomena miix you get mnemonics mama [TS]

  cooks mom mnemonics I do actually [TS]

  several i have seven marks involving [TS]

  keys if you'd like to learn and because [TS]

  my biggest fear but luckily and boy I'm [TS]

  really saying too much now the door of [TS]

  my office requires a key to get in sure [TS]

  and then I want to get in i lock the [TS]

  door with the same key so that's a [TS]

  mnemonic right there right [TS]

  got a life hack tool is actually it's [TS]

  cuz the one key lifehack ya une oh yeah [TS]

  the other day and I and my dad but now I [TS]

  guess I I think about it and you know [TS]

  how it is with life and substances where [TS]

  you something starts out really simple [TS]

  and then you find yourself challenging [TS]

  yourself that idea of like can I throw [TS]

  the beanbag a little bit further this [TS]

  time and I'm just wondering i wonder if [TS]

  i will get to a point where we should [TS]

  probably capture this for later circle [TS]

  barefoot I think you're going to make [TS]

  that walk barefoot next time I i did [TS]

  barefoot for a while in college I've [TS]

  been barefoot but are you gonna make [TS]

  that particular walk barefoot a question [TS]

  knowing what you know about your [TS]

  neighbor let's cut to the chase how long [TS]

  will it be before I put on a comfortable [TS]

  warm jacket and look to the office in my [TS]

  underwear is a long t-shirt nothing else [TS]

  yeah I could do that now that lady [TS]

  walked up a lady walk to her office [TS]

  I don't want to be a normative but if a [TS]

  lady walked her office and repair that [TS]

  would seem like a penthouse forum thing [TS]

  listen my favorite thing in the world is [TS]

  a lady in a trench coat with nothing [TS]

  else have you forgotten that I mean I [TS]

  don't want to have to cut this all out [TS]

  ok but you know maybe they're living in [TS]

  a song that used to be a special thing [TS]

  which song you can say oh it's in it [TS]

  while it's in an unreleased song but [TS]

  it's in there not moving to Portland to [TS]

  get song [TS]

  yeah I I don't know I you know what will [TS]

  probably do an awkward call an offline [TS]

  follow up about this i'm not sure i want [TS]

  to triangulate any more than I have at [TS]

  this point I'm probably hexagonal aiding [TS]

  sure but I have a feeling I'm knowing [TS]

  how I am and knowing you know you know [TS]

  how I mean I'm scared of everything [TS]

  well yeah I'm sure you suggested for me [TS]

  uh-huh was driven by fear was that the [TS]

  shirt you that I could get up in very [TS]

  very tiny letters like I want people to [TS]

  be able to read it but that but they're [TS]

  button button of those like dripping [TS]

  paint letters really small dripping [TS]

  paint letters [TS]

  what do you mean like like a tease [TS]

  rollerskating leadership is matter of [TS]

  our shipping papers from them all put a [TS]

  little kitty cat on a branch of Friday's [TS]

  coming i have been I could see myself [TS]

  pushing myself to that and saying [TS]

  because you know it is that it's like [TS]

  procrastination it's like any kind of [TS]

  like like substance abuse or anything [TS]

  when you get away with something for [TS]

  awhile you eventually you can see how [TS]

  far you can i'm a i'm a tonight just [TS]

  walk home with my wagon just see if i [TS]

  can do it i mean you know at a certain [TS]

  hour there is nothing i mean i have i've [TS]

  made a practice of wandering around sort [TS]

  of that my local neighborhood in nothing [TS]

  but a bathrobe and a sword [TS]

  yeah and I find it incredibly liberating [TS]

  but would I get into the car in a [TS]

  bathroom and a sword know first of all [TS]

  no I know why [TS]

  see I i think this is something we have [TS]

  in common is it and I I i would like to [TS]

  think that this drives your mates as [TS]

  crazy as it drives my mates but i really [TS]

  like to walk through i like to think [TS]

  through like if we're driving somewhere [TS]

  okay but we better bring a blanket [TS]

  because what if something happens with [TS]

  the car looks actually talk about their [TS]

  we should have some energy bars sure in [TS]

  some gallons of water and struggling [TS]

  t-bones the car and you're the only one [TS]

  you and everyone else is knocked [TS]

  unconscious and you have to escape [TS]

  through a side window [TS]

  yes haha are you going to get your [TS]

  fucking bathrobe tangled in the rearview [TS]

  mirror [TS]

  it seems so simple you could drive naked [TS]

  for years and never have a problem and [TS]

  then one day it's before you realize you [TS]

  forgot your driver's license and now [TS]

  you're entering a world of pain [TS]

  yeah well you would bring one ring [TS]

  Yahtzee and water and be ready this is [TS]

  why I don't get a belly button piercing [TS]

  I've said it before I don't want [TS]

  anything that could possibly get snagged [TS]

  if I have to go over chain-link fence [TS]

  and a and I think you should make all of [TS]

  your life decisions based on is there a [TS]

  chance I'm gonna have to go over a [TS]

  chain-link fence at some point today and [TS]

  when I go walk around my perimeter in my [TS]

  bathrobe I make sure I'm there's never a [TS]

  fence between me and and the front door [TS]

  behind which is my you know small bag in [TS]

  my arsenal of medieval weapons [TS]

  I said you don't use it you know it's [TS]

  there you know you're missing is your [TS]

  mentally prepared you know you even you [TS]

  know even if it doesn't come up it may [TS]

  not come up for years and then make them [TS]

  up like three times in a couple days [TS]

  just like Mossad is after you or [TS]

  something they did i'm just saying i get [TS]

  into this all the time with people and [TS]

  their stupid shoes so make your shoes as [TS]

  fancy as you want i don't get make them [TS]

  ten feet tall have a fishbowl in the [TS]

  souls but if you cannot either get the [TS]

  heck out of those shoes in a hurry [TS]

  and-and-and make the pace or like make [TS]

  the pace in the shoes but anytime I'm [TS]

  like walking around and all of a sudden [TS]

  I'm Mike holding hands with with it with [TS]

  an instant gimp right like we look great [TS]

  at the party and then it's like hey we [TS]

  like it's only two-and-a-half blocks up [TS]

  and a block and a half over to get to [TS]

  the get to the next party and they're [TS]

  like oh and all of a sudden insta GIMP [TS]

  and there was little [TS]

  open and there's feet are bleeding i [TS]

  brought my kitten heel do you live in [TS]

  the world that I kiss your feet your [TS]

  feet would have you would have been fine [TS]

  and pretty much I mean that they're the [TS]

  the great pantheon of women shoes [TS]

  includes plenty of cute little shoes [TS]

  that can also be used to scale offense [TS]

  let's be honest there are a lot there's [TS]

  a lot of very handsome boots that a lady [TS]

  can wear that are there they're [TS]

  attractive and they're comfortable and [TS]

  they're they're ready for evading the [TS]

  song that comes up when it comes up this [TS]

  is what i'm asking you Merlin [TS]

  high-fashion for many many many years [TS]

  high-fashion I'm talking about like the [TS]

  the real high stuff the Italian and [TS]

  French super you know like custom-made [TS]

  fashion who those crazies have been [TS]

  marching a their runway models up and [TS]

  down this up and down the street in [TS]

  logger boots for like 30 years now [TS]

  there's nothing there's nothing new to [TS]

  it right [TS]

  giant like gene Simmons kiss boots and [TS]

  motorcycle boots [TS]

  why don't all women just take the q that [TS]

  that is the best shoe if you just have a [TS]

  knee-high motorcycle boot it goes with [TS]

  everything right [TS]

  yak I don't understand I don't know that [TS]

  we have we have crossed this bridge and [TS]

  cross it and cross them cross that and [TS]

  yet I keep seeing pumps I keep seeing [TS]

  people choosing pumps [TS]

  well you understand why that is I mean [TS]

  that they're there is a mixture foot [TS]

  look like it makes the girls foot look [TS]

  like a cloven hoof okay yeah i guess [TS]

  that's Blaine Victor doesn't make them [TS]

  it makes it makes your butt stick out [TS]

  you walk you walk cute you look tall [TS]

  there's a lot a lot of things to [TS]

  recommend them but the problem is it's [TS]

  one thing to be like in the court of [TS]

  louie the what 14 it wasn't to be in a [TS]

  loony court where the whole idea is you [TS]

  are deliberately wearing completely [TS]

  impractical close to show how powerful [TS]

  you are right to express your wealth and [TS]

  your and the fact that no one will [TS]

  require you to lift a thing except your [TS]

  petticoats to go to the bathroom behind [TS]

  the car [TS]

  order to hide a page or uh four horsemen [TS]

  hello could you hide under a petticoat I [TS]

  saw a doctor who were he had under [TS]

  address i would happily hide under a [TS]

  petticoat and this is that this is the [TS]

  ecology standard there could you bring [TS]

  water depends on who's petticoat who I [TS]

  was thinking about this the other day [TS]

  you know i'm often bemoaning the fact [TS]

  that people address so Shapley when [TS]

  there are so many wonderful ways to [TS]

  address that are just as comfortable as [TS]

  shabby dressing and I was talking to my [TS]

  mom I was reflecting on like oh you know [TS]

  when you were a kid or back in the [TS]

  forties like everybody dressed great and [TS]

  it was such a much better way of his so [TS]

  much more more more beautiful world when [TS]

  every all men in suits and all women [TS]

  dresses and just you know everybody's [TS]

  wearing a hat it's like I I long for it [TS]

  even though I only saw the tail end of [TS]

  it in my mind it was real I mean if you [TS]

  deserve newsreels up until Kennedy every [TS]

  guy always wear a hat [TS]

  yeah but what my mom said is what the [TS]

  photographs cannot convey is that [TS]

  everybody smelled to high heaven then [TS]

  like it was before deodorant had been [TS]

  invented and so the so maybe like the [TS]

  opposite of x so people doused [TS]

  themselves with perfumes and powders so [TS]

  rich people smelled like Victoria's [TS]

  Secret dressing rooms it and poor people [TS]

  just smelled like toilets and so [TS]

  everywhere you went every public [TS]

  transportation just walking down the [TS]

  sidewalk you just assaulted constantly [TS]

  assaulted by by poopin powder and you [TS]

  know now you could you when you're in a [TS]

  public space and there's somebody that [TS]

  smells strongly either strongly a [TS]

  perfumer strongly body odor it stands [TS]

  out you're like oh my god you person [TS]

  come on get a grip but my mom said back [TS]

  and you know back in the thirties and [TS]

  forties like everybody just wreaked I [TS]

  bet part of that was you got first of [TS]

  all just let's step 0 yet wool right you [TS]

  have probably had a lot of stuff that [TS]

  had to be dry-cleaned you're wearing [TS]

  wool suits all your room [TS]

  I think people Oh [TS]

  and fewer clothes then probably yeah you [TS]

  took care of them and you mended them [TS]

  couple of suits three or four suits if [TS]

  you were a normal person i ordered i [TS]

  ordered 12 pairs of socks a from amazon [TS]

  is it really is that simple and then [TS]

  what what what time to let stuff like [TS]

  that pretty pedestrian so to speak [TS]

  yeah white gold is there a global white [TS]

  gold toes you know what's going on the [TS]

  pad thing but you know your your good [TS]

  friend Jesse Thorne gave me a real [TS]

  lecture one time because i was wearing [TS]

  white gold toes with a suit [TS]

  well he's got a lot of lectures in him [TS]

  we I I checked though in the last time [TS]

  that i bought on one of my mass orders [TS]

  was August like that's how recently so [TS]

  my thing is like not today that this how [TS]

  crazy we are today like today you know [TS]

  you would buy a VCR but you by the [TS]

  electronic devices you don't get them [TS]

  fixed but it used to be like now I [TS]

  discovered I had a pair of socks on the [TS]

  other day I had I had a hole in my sock [TS]

  which i get about twice a year because I [TS]

  throw them out when they get to gross i [TS]

  think that then you would have closed [TS]

  you might have 5-10 year old underwear [TS]

  like as just a matter of course I only [TS]

  say I think that wall you get a dress [TS]

  for work so if you had to wear a suit to [TS]

  work [TS]

  not everybody's just adore not everybody [TS]

  has a lot of fancy suits in the tri [TS]

  forties you wear the same suit you wore [TS]

  yesterday and the suit award the day [TS]

  before also john foundation where I [TS]

  think for ladies [TS]

  I mean I think a lot if you watch go [TS]

  back and look at those a all like the [TS]

  shapes that women have are not Cheryl no [TS]

  10 layers of underwear [TS]

  yeah so so now this is a lot of wash [TS]

  we're talking about 1940 now the modern [TS]

  era now imagine how people smelled in [TS]

  1840 I heard that I've heard I don't [TS]

  want to I don't want to sound like I'm [TS]

  looking down my nose at the French cuz i [TS]

  know that's the thing i do so to speak [TS]

  but the but i've heard people were [TS]

  pretty stinky back there well not alone [TS]

  are still pretty stinky and France but I [TS]

  mean people everywhere like I think this [TS]

  is one of the things that we never [TS]

  talked about what when we talk about [TS]

  time travel [TS]

  I think the most i think the most [TS]

  extraordinary aspect of travelling back [TS]

  in time would be that you would land and [TS]

  immediately you your senses that cannot [TS]

  be conveyed by phone film like your your [TS]

  smell senses [TS]

  would be assaulted immediately if you [TS]

  met with the lower east side must have [TS]

  smelled like in like the 19-teens right [TS]

  anybody that amazing but like you know [TS]

  when there's a lot of people there you [TS]

  know probably not super fancy you got [TS]

  all those different ethnic foods going [TS]

  on another note Roman animals like in [TS]

  the streets right i mean you're not [TS]

  lower east side you're not going to the [TS]

  still local whole foods like whole foods [TS]

  the organic chicken place you are like [TS]

  grabbing a chicken off the roof or [TS]

  whatever and and cutting its throat and [TS]

  then I mean he would be the streets [TS]

  would be running with blood and offal [TS]

  and and poop and pee food and and yet we [TS]

  look at those pictures and were like oh [TS]

  while several times cheese people with [TS]

  the families might might might that the [TS]

  history of my whole my whole story of [TS]

  travel like the first time I left [TS]

  because in Alaska right or Seattle or I [TS]

  mean seattle was built sort of largely [TS]

  constructed in the last hundred years [TS]

  san franciscans older but Alaska in 1940 [TS]

  Anchorage was like for pup tents and a [TS]

  windmill so the entire city has been [TS]

  built since the advent of every all mod [TS]

  cons right so growing up in Anchorage [TS]

  there was no opportunity to ever smell [TS]

  an open sewer it just would never happen [TS]

  and my first experience of going to I [TS]

  mean I then it really it happened the [TS]

  first time I went to New York City to be [TS]

  in a city full of people and to smell [TS]

  something come up out of a hole in the [TS]

  ground that suggested the amazing warren [TS]

  of pipes of dookie pipes I was you know [TS]

  like I i had to control my retching [TS]

  because I because the spell was [TS]

  unfamiliar and also I knew what it [TS]

  represented and then the first time I [TS]

  went to Europe and you know the streets [TS]

  of Paris or just straight [TS]

  rune with feces really well because they [TS]

  don't curb their dogs their first of all [TS]

  so it's considered part of being a [TS]

  Parisian that you take your shitty [TS]

  little dog out and walk down the street [TS]

  and just let it shit anywhere [TS]

  yeah like that's it's actually like it [TS]

  was a cultural problem we keep helping [TS]

  them they are really adamant about it [TS]

  and they eat take don't they like go to [TS]

  the table at a cafe your dog can sit [TS]

  there [TS]

  absolutely i have its part it's part of [TS]

  the Gallic culture i don't understand it [TS]

  I don't I can't judge that's don't know [TS]

  just that that's got to be just they're [TS]

  being deliberately annoying they are [TS]

  being deliberately annoying and they're [TS]

  so there's poop everywhere and then also [TS]

  Paris was built by the Romans and I'm [TS]

  sure that the I'm sure that the [TS]

  underlying fundamental foundational [TS]

  sewer system is still Roman it's still [TS]

  just like terracotta like poop tumblers [TS]

  right you just it's like gravity fed [TS]

  tumble the loop down and it was let's be [TS]

  honest that's it was pretty advanced for [TS]

  its time it was incredible 2,000 years [TS]

  ago but I'm sure whatever you know [TS]

  anytime you go into a into a European [TS]

  bathroom the first thing that you're [TS]

  struck by is like that's your toilet and [TS]

  that's your bathtub like interesting [TS]

  like like so much of so much we share so [TS]

  much with Europe but the kitchen [TS]

  appliances and the bathroom facilities [TS]

  are always just a little bit off like [TS]

  they like somebody was doing a film [TS]

  design and it's kind of like the cars in [TS]

  sleeper the Woody Allen film you know [TS]

  that the cars and sleeper from the [TS]

  future but you can tell that it's just [TS]

  it's just like a paper mache car over [TS]

  the top of a little ewwy magretta like [TS]

  their feet w is in that [TS]

  yeah maybe under under some crazy some [TS]

  crazy body fake bodywork and that's what [TS]

  I always feel like when I'm looking at [TS]

  at a at a European dishwasher or paper [TS]

  or a bathtub it's just like really [TS]

  really everything's kind of little like [TS]

  what you have been to Europe but I've [TS]

  been to England and everything's seems [TS]

  very compact [TS]

  the thing that strikes me about New York [TS]

  I haven't been there and been to [TS]

  Manhattan in a while but he should [TS]

  change that you know you and I should go [TS]

  to Manhattan and do a show we got to [TS]

  talk about a lot of things [TS]

  yeah i heard you're writing a book or we [TS]

  can cut all this okay um we got a lot to [TS]

  talk about but out whenever I go to New [TS]

  York last time i was there are staying [TS]

  in the garment district and I remember [TS]

  uh you know how like you realize [TS]

  something for a long time and then you [TS]

  find it like finally like realize the [TS]

  name for what it is [TS]

  it was like and I was like I was in a [TS]

  pretty god i was lucky enough to be in a [TS]

  pretty quiet hotel all things considered [TS]

  but still you can look out the window [TS]

  and just all night long [TS]

  there's something going on all the time [TS]

  in New York City and and that's so [TS]

  different from almost anywhere I've ever [TS]

  lived including San Francisco San [TS]

  Francisco everything closes up pretty [TS]

  early [TS]

  yeah bye-bye really any sooner annoying [TS]

  yeah metropolitan city standards but in [TS]

  a city new york really feels like an [TS]

  organism it feels like a big breathing [TS]

  eating pissing shitting organism and [TS]

  like there's just trucks delivering [TS]

  stuff in crazy places and crazy times [TS]

  their hosing down the street and it [TS]

  really feels like a brood like there's [TS]

  this you know what I mean like that I [TS]

  guess it's probably cities like that in [TS]

  Europe but new york manhattan really [TS]

  feels like that to me it really feels [TS]

  like like a giant complex animal that we [TS]

  just happen to be living on for a little [TS]

  while [TS]

  yeah well that the the the great thing [TS]

  about Manhattan is there are no Ali's [TS]

  right at most cities that were built in [TS]

  America were built with Ali's for [TS]

  delivery and trash right and all the [TS]

  facilities right awps person in [TS]

  Manhattan you're like oh my god you're [TS]

  you're a fucking wizard what are you [TS]

  doing [TS]

  they all are wizards everybody they have [TS]

  the same UPS truck UPS truck series park [TS]

  where they want for as long as they want [TS]

  and there they just they have to go to [TS]

  the most improbable places in the [TS]

  craziest traffic i don't know anyone [TS]

  survives it [TS]

  yeah the people there learn to park on [TS]

  top of fun polls because you are like [TS]

  everywhere you are it's to talk about [TS]

  keep moving and get out of the way like [TS]

  as soon as you stop moving there you are [TS]

  in 500 people's way [TS]

  and so everybody just keeps and-and-and [TS]

  like like I say no Ali's no back doors [TS]

  to anything so all deliveries all [TS]

  garbage [TS]

  it all has to come in and out through [TS]

  the same front door that business is [TS]

  being conducted through and everybody's [TS]

  coming in and out at all times you know [TS]

  there's no the city can't afford to rest [TS]

  because there's no such thing as like I [TS]

  just put that out back [TS]

  well we'll figure it out oh there's [TS]

  there's no there's no place like here [TS]

  you might say oh you know drop off my [TS]

  delivery you know in this you know go [TS]

  through this access door and go leave it [TS]

  here in this space everything is public [TS]

  it's all it's all happening and if you [TS]

  put something out on the sidewalk and [TS]

  someone will move into it it will go [TS]

  away yeah people are like a look at this [TS]

  room and so the the yeah the the city [TS]

  just but but but i but i think it's the [TS]

  most amazing place you know like at any [TS]

  hour of the of the day four o'clock in [TS]

  the morning you can go only a couple of [TS]

  blocks from where you are wherever that [TS]

  is and walk into a place and say I would [TS]

  like a four-course meal [TS]

  yeah i would like chicken parmesan and [TS]

  apple pie and decaf coffee and let's say [TS]

  for instance calamari fried calamari and [TS]

  there will be people there that think [TS]

  that's the most reasonable thing in the [TS]

  world and they will bring it to you with [TS]

  no comment and there will be people all [TS]

  around you having similar meals and just [TS]

  like yeah for its that that's right [TS]

  that's right world [TS]

  here's what's crazy about that so like [TS]

  in San Francisco is just I don't know it [TS]

  you know it's a really weird place like [TS]

  there's not that many fast-food places [TS]

  there's not that many gas stations [TS]

  there's all kinds of stuff with the like [TS]

  we've let other places take care of that [TS]

  there's not nearly as much of that kind [TS]

  of stuff there's a small version of a [TS]

  gas station here and so forth but like [TS]

  in Florida so that that's pretty weird [TS]

  for a theoretically metropolitan place [TS]

  like in Florida Marlins in Florida there [TS]

  were all kinds of places that were open [TS]

  24 hours [TS]

  they're like giant like enormous like 24 [TS]

  pump gas stations with a blimpies inside [TS]

  that were open fucking 24 hours a day [TS]

  walmart the walmart is open 2014 going [TS]

  to buy a lawnmower in the middle of the [TS]

  night but here's the difference so we [TS]

  don't have that here in Florida you go [TS]

  there but you know it's there in the [TS]

  middle of the night loonies like the [TS]

  holy people at these places at two in [TS]

  the morning are there for something [TS]

  lurid generally but the crazy what [TS]

  you're describing about Manhattan the [TS]

  party never could get my head around [TS]

  this exactly what you described you walk [TS]

  in and there and like you go ahead and [TS]

  you okay i'm drunk i ordered calamari [TS]

  know like it's everybody in there it's [TS]

  totally normal it's a it's a 24-hour [TS]

  town [TS]

  yeah and i have no context for a place [TS]

  where you would just go and go you know [TS]

  what I want to go get some pretty above [TS]

  average Greek food at four-twenty in the [TS]

  morning [TS]

  yeah I've never experienced that I don't [TS]

  and arteries there's a guy in there [TS]

  working on his novel there are two [TS]

  sweethearts canoodling lost just like to [TS]

  senior citizens you like what are you [TS]

  doing is here in the middle of the night [TS]

  yeah that's so suspicious everywhere [TS]

  I've ever lived to be out after targets [TS]

  like the Middle Ages it's like what why [TS]

  would you be at this place now for more [TS]

  than why would you be anywhere in the [TS]

  middle of the night for an hour unless [TS]

  it was for something release sketchy [TS]

  well and I and as I Drive around my own [TS]

  town in the middle of the night [TS]

  reflecting on why the fuck everybody is [TS]

  not out hanging out with each other [TS]

  I can't but come back to that we are all [TS]

  at home watching television like it's [TS]

  not that everybody is asleep [TS]

  it is that everybody is watching uh like [TS]

  workout commercials and weight loss [TS]

  commercials alone in their own little [TS]

  sanctums and not making that small extra [TS]

  effort to go to the one place that is [TS]

  open and just sit and like read a paper [TS]

  bag or whatever if you're up at that [TS]

  hour at least I like that's that that is [TS]

  the one time of day I do like to be in a [TS]

  place where there you know there's a [TS]

  little hustle bustle and people are [TS]

  around females like that like a waffle [TS]

  house kind of scene [TS]

  well we don't have waffle houses but but [TS]

  you don't really like someplace like [TS]

  that someplace where you could go and [TS]

  just like a Denny's type [TS]

  yeah a little diner you get a piece of [TS]

  pie with a cup of coffee and you write [TS]

  in your journal or e-reader you read a [TS]

  up but the paperback I mean I feel like [TS]

  that experience it is one that we all [TS]

  take for granted we all think of as kind [TS]

  of like oh that's kind of lonely like [TS]

  you're in the middle of the night you're [TS]

  having a piece of pie reading a book but [TS]

  in fact I think those are the greatest [TS]

  experiences and that we should also seek [TS]

  out that kind of thing because what what [TS]

  where the thing that that replaces is [TS]

  not sitting around carving a turkey with [TS]

  your family and friends it replaces [TS]

  sitting in front of a TV watching [TS]

  garbage in the middle of the night you [TS]

  know to to replace tell to replace [TS]

  solitary television watching with any [TS]

  other thing is a is a net improvement to [TS]

  replace solitary television watching [TS]

  with a walk around the block to replace [TS]

  solitary television watching with a [TS]

  cigarette out on the back porch [TS]

  shivering in your nightgown is like [TS]

  ultimately I think better for our [TS]

  spirits then then just that that passive [TS]

  TV I I and particularly sitting in a [TS]

  restaurant in the middle of the night [TS]

  and read writing in your journal on [TS]

  having a piece of pie and a cup of [TS]

  coffee [TS]

  I mean those are the those are moments i [TS]

  really cherish and that and and and that [TS]

  that whole like I'm dining by myself yes [TS]

  it is a table for one yes [TS]

  like that's the thing I'm I i I'm I'm [TS]

  always very proud in those moments like [TS]

  I am it is a table for one sir [TS]

  bring me a pie and coffee ravu and and [TS]

  people's of people are are embarrassed [TS]

  to dine by themselves like gas but i [TS]

  think it's i think dining by yourself as [TS]

  the ultimate power move especially if [TS]

  you have a book you know when someone [TS]

  you going somewhere you just want to get [TS]

  me on they say just one [TS]

  yeah I say [TS]

  yes 10 know i like i like myself I like [TS]

  going to the movies by myself going to [TS]

  the movies by yourself is the best yeah [TS]

  but i think you're right i think people [TS]

  that reads as lonely [TS]

  well I and I really feel like I feel [TS]

  like those moments I mean not to be 22 [TS]

  like late eighties early nineties um [TS]

  like cherish yourself culture but what I [TS]

  really do miss the fact that ability to [TS]

  feel like shit up the chairs yourself [TS]

  era of like you remember when the baby [TS]

  boomers really really first started just [TS]

  to realize that they were they still [TS]

  didn't believe they were gonna die but [TS]

  they did start to did start to their [TS]

  hair started to fall out and now they [TS]

  were the worst they couldn't see I [TS]

  remember the last words realize they [TS]

  were gonna die before they realized all [TS]

  that slightly Robinson and that's the [TS]

  thing that they were and that's when [TS]

  they went through their big like we need [TS]

  to cherish ourselves we every moment is [TS]

  precious like all of that and of course [TS]

  you and I were 20 25 years younger than [TS]

  they were and and being given this [TS]

  information like cherish ourselves [TS]

  I hate myself yeah I hate myself as God [TS]

  intended wooden cherish my sufficient [TS]

  yeah but now I'm starting to see like [TS]

  you know what there are it is you don't [TS]

  have to buy something expensive [TS]

  cherishing yourself is just taking [TS]

  yourself to the fucking movies [TS]

  well I i don't want to sound defensive [TS]

  as somebody who enjoys watching [TS]

  extremely good TV and movies and so are [TS]

  no no you are curating your way might my [TS]

  taste is outstanding [TS]

  it's incredible you should have there [TS]

  should be there should be an Amazon that [TS]

  is just things that Merlin likes it's [TS]

  pretty good idea and I used to be one I [TS]

  could do that [TS]

  ah I i think i think people are just a [TS]

  lot of people don't say that they're [TS]

  scared of being alone i will say i think [TS]

  people are uncomfortable being seen [TS]

  being alone and I think that we kind of [TS]

  are meant to feel badly about ourselves [TS]

  if we're in public by ourselves like [TS]

  unless you're going to get a pap smear [TS]

  or abortion [TS]

  it's alright i always offer my services [TS]

  to take women to their pap smears to be [TS]

  yelling at Lincoln smear buddy [TS]

  yeah you just you know you don't wanna [TS]

  go do that by yourself I'll go with you [TS]

  to your smear you know what's it like [TS]

  you do that's a super nice thing [TS]

  somebody who's just there just there you [TS]

  can sit there you can read a fishing [TS]

  magazine in the in the lobby while it's [TS]

  happening [TS]

  I've got going with some friends to [TS]

  their abortions and sat in the sat in [TS]

  the armored lobby with every other woman [TS]

  in the place really really glaring [TS]

  coming up being folds song yourself [TS]

  glaring at me while I read women's wear [TS]

  daily and because that is a thing where [TS]

  you need a you really do need a friend [TS]

  and often the culprit is not a friend [TS]

  well I i was what's that saying ladies [TS]

  who get abortions or lonely just think [TS]

  that we're supposed to feel like a [TS]

  know-it-all again this is just well [TS]

  there's another part of this which is [TS]

  that suburban culture which is like when [TS]

  I was a kid if you want to go to dennys [TS]

  you would get in a car and drive to [TS]

  dennys like why is there a 19 year old [TS]

  kid who is driven to dennys in the [TS]

  middle of the night [TS]

  now if you wanna go in it go out and get [TS]

  a kebab at four in the morning there's a [TS]

  pretty good chance you could walk there [TS]

  in 10-15 minutes huge difference it's [TS]

  one reason i put up with so much horse [TS]

  shit in this stupid town i live in is [TS]

  because it is pretty walkable and pretty [TS]

  you know public transit apple and and [TS]

  given that I'm advancing in years and [TS]

  and don't need to go out and in the [TS]

  middle of the night is actually make [TS]

  school drop off the next morning kind of [TS]

  hard [TS]

  still I i like that that's I like the e [TS]

  I can walk places i don't like having to [TS]

  get a car I I despise having to get in a [TS]

  car to go somewhere and do a thing and [TS]

  then drive back i did that for so many [TS]

  years and it just became in Florida [TS]

  that's what we did not touch this when [TS]

  we want to go buy records with try to [TS]

  tampa florida to my records we have to [TS]

  drive 40 minutes to buy records and and [TS]

  now like like today that seems I [TS]

  understand why that's the way it is but [TS]

  it's kind of a bummer [TS]

  yeah well and and you're talking about [TS]

  my life now because because as I've said [TS]

  before like the one thing that I the one [TS]

  thing that I failed to take into [TS]

  consideration when I bought my house was [TS]

  that I would have to drive a night then [TS]

  that i did not like [TS]

  I love to drive for sport [TS]

  I hate to drive out of necessity [TS]

  same thing here yeah and you really [TS]

  there's I don't want to provide [TS]

  triangulation oh that's all right they [TS]

  all know where I live big together [TS]

  putting supertrain stickers on all my [TS]

  stop signs now creepy is that there's [TS]

  that one weird little shop near you [TS]

  which is useless you totally useless [TS]

  they don't have half and half [TS]

  you don't happen to have all this extra [TS]

  correctly you would cool do I get [TS]

  lottery tickets do i remember correctly [TS]

  they didn't know what half and half was [TS]

  we never heard of it [TS]

  never heard of it wasn't interested in [TS]

  learning about it was like it comes out [TS]

  of a cow but you know you're a good [TS]

  driver you like to drive and you're not [TS]

  drinking and stuff so you going like I [TS]

  love to drive but the problem is that [TS]

  the problem is everybody wants to have a [TS]

  fucking meeting and they all want to [TS]

  have fucking meetings on the other side [TS]

  of town so i'm always have a day that is [TS]

  a half day just like you had that you [TS]

  have to have a meeting I don't have a [TS]

  meeting I just send me the just send me [TS]

  the the liner notes in the PowerPoint [TS]

  yeah like what what what are we talking [TS]

  about here is there something I can say [TS]

  yes or no to but no it's a it's a it's a [TS]

  freaking meeting you gotta be there and [TS]

  so I'm in the car and-and-and and the [TS]

  traffic is so capricious like 1130 on a [TS]

  wednesday it takes me five minutes to [TS]

  get to town 1130 the next day honor [TS]

  absolutely same conditions and it's [TS]

  stop-and-go traffic for an hour [TS]

  that makes me insane it's just crazy [TS]

  making and and so I so I look at my eye [TS]

  look at my house and I'm like I want to [TS]

  live here i want to fix this house up I [TS]

  want to I can see myself living here for [TS]

  20 years it's a it's a my mortgage [TS]

  payment is inexpensive have a lot of [TS]

  property i got room to grow [TS]

  I got plenty of room here i can ever i [TS]

  can have a room just to practice the [TS]

  viola as John Hodgman describes his his [TS]

  his childhood home he said there was a [TS]

  room in my house where they all purpose [TS]

  of the room was for me to practice the [TS]

  old [TS]

  and an idea and i like that i admire [TS]

  that of the old practice room so but I [TS]

  am consigning myself to this drive this [TS]

  this drive or to being like a like a [TS]

  weird hermit the internet does not [TS]

  provide me i cannot be a person who just [TS]

  sits and looks on the internet I just [TS]

  can't do it [TS]

  you sure about that doesn't include your [TS]

  phone [TS]

  happy well fucking see you you act like [TS]

  you're some cat lady sitting there with [TS]

  your pc but you to a lot did I i I've [TS]

  been having have been having some very [TS]

  strong feelings lately Merlin empty that [TS]

  the internet in particular the internet [TS]

  that I let live in which is the Twitter [TS]

  net and that expanded kind of into the [TS]

  Instagram met with a with like a Hail [TS]

  Mary pass once a week to the Facebook [TS]

  net that this world is now greatly [TS]

  diminished from what it was a year ago [TS]

  and I know that you be an early adopter [TS]

  of all these technologies have already [TS]

  felt sympathetic I've already felt the [TS]

  great sorrow of help much worse it is [TS]

  that it was but you know i am i am one [TS]

  of those people who actually has a [TS]

  career that he is like I'm trying to [TS]

  provide as you know top-shelf free [TS]

  content yet I I would never do that but [TS]

  but i'm also trying to like the twitter [TS]

  is the only way I have to tell people [TS]

  that I'm playing a show and playing a [TS]

  show is the only way I have to connect [TS]

  with people outside of Twitter and I've [TS]

  noticed just recently like I'm trying to [TS]

  promote things and facebook has put up [TS]

  all those firewalls where your posts no [TS]

  longer go to your friends here I've [TS]

  heard about this it sounds really weird [TS]

  it's the worst it's just like oh you [TS]

  have you have 5,000 friends and when [TS]

  using like five people could look at a [TS]

  page and see different things [TS]

  well what happens is you know their [TS]

  timeline is going by and Facebook used [TS]

  to put my little tweets [TS]

  in the timeline of everybody that [TS]

  follows me everybody that friends me or [TS]

  whatever but then Facebook realized [TS]

  people like me were promoting their [TS]

  shows by sending out facebook i mean not [TS]

  not like private messages or anything [TS]

  but but just just tweeting about it or [TS]

  just facebooking about it and now [TS]

  Facebook takes like seventy percent of [TS]

  your friends [TS]

  it just doesn't show them all your posts [TS]

  it yeah how does it decide it just [TS]

  randomly decides and it says if you want [TS]

  all your posts to go to all your friends [TS]

  it costs you Mandy nine dollars are you [TS]

  kidding me i'm not kidding is sel this [TS]

  is how they're trying to make money play [TS]

  and so I started missing out on the head [TS]

  I know so I here for people all the time [TS]

  that somebody take care of me the other [TS]

  day they were like I used to love your [TS]

  facebook posts why did you stop and I [TS]

  said I didn't stop facebook just stopped [TS]

  showing them to you the pictures got [TS]

  small and they're like really huh don't [TS]

  think that's the thing nobody knows [TS]

  about it so so but i'm noticing like I [TS]

  send out a thing that used to generate a [TS]

  lot of interest and I used to feel like [TS]

  oh the internet is a comfortable place [TS]

  for me now i have transitioned away from [TS]

  needing magazines to write about my band [TS]

  i can just write about my own band and [TS]

  and promote myself but in the [TS]

  intervening 45 years since I've been on [TS]

  Twitter everybody in the world [TS]

  he's trying to promote their cat videos [TS]

  and no one has any attention span for [TS]

  nobody has any nobody I mean nobody goes [TS]

  and reads their twitter feed anymore [TS]

  your facebook feed is all gamed and i'm [TS]

  and and I no longer feel like I am [TS]

  effectively communicating with people [TS]

  that want to find ya people that are [TS]

  listening to our podcast are doing it [TS]

  because they are they have drank the [TS]

  kool-aid they are ruined forever and [TS]

  like they just sit pulling on their [TS]

  fingers and waiting for more information [TS]

  but the but the majority of Michael [TS]

  never i never thought of it that way but [TS]

  the majority of people out there that [TS]

  i'm trying to reach that are just like [TS]

  normal ticket buyers and people that [TS]

  have not yet but the people that it's [TS]

  like tasted smelled the kool-aid but [TS]

  haven't had a taste of it yet [TS]

  like those people at it's just getting [TS]

  lost in the adjust the people i follow [TS]

  I mean just adjust pollen storms [TS]

  kickstarters are taking up [TS]

  three-quarters of my twitter feed [TS]

  like people are everybody everybody [TS]

  wants your attention everybody is asking [TS]

  for money everybody is making a new [TS]

  thing that they're very excited about [TS]

  and there is no distinction between me [TS]

  who makes things professionally and the [TS]

  guy next door who makes things to keep [TS]

  the demon dogs from from filling his [TS]

  head with screaming and howling and his [TS]

  promoted the MVP is nine dollars to [TS]

  facebook everybody sees his post so i [TS]

  put so anyway I'm feeling like oh the [TS]

  internet it's it has legitimately moved [TS]

  on from i mean i remember when i joined [TS]

  twitter you and your olds cadres were [TS]

  already like Twitter's dead brother's [TS]

  dead it used to be so great but now I [TS]

  really do feel like there is no what [TS]

  what seemed like you could run an [TS]

  economy you could run a business this [TS]

  way [TS]

  it's all gone it'sit's ebbing and I [TS]

  don't know what the next thing that are [TS]

  do we go back to blogging yeah do I [TS]

  design an app could do I design at doing [TS]

  the design an app that every time I fart [TS]

  in a glass it goes onto your phone it's [TS]

  pretty good it's a lot of farming [TS]

  because she's somebody prototype that [TS]

  our class but the FR t GLS up our class [TS]

  that coo i'll get too lonely sandwich [TS]

  should do a promotional video [TS]

  good luck is busy i well I have a lot of [TS]

  thoughts on this [TS]

  yes none of them are interesting but [TS]

  i'll give you a couple cookies [TS]

  well i mean well first of all it's funny [TS]

  that like you would like look at that [TS]

  cat video guy and now like you know you [TS]

  like and hey like I'm John Roderick and [TS]

  like I actually make stuff well it's [TS]

  funny because like five or eight years [TS]

  ago you know you were the underdog [TS]

  uh-huh whereas you know there's the big [TS]

  companies out there that are like buying [TS]

  the ads and in rolling stone and there [TS]

  was these all these bands during the [TS]

  skunkworks thing and they were the [TS]

  underdogs but it's funny to me today [TS]

  a you know relatively successful [TS]

  independent artist could look at the cat [TS]

  video people and see like a you're [TS]

  eating up my plate like what's let's [TS]

  look at this you're not you're not not [TS]

  releasing records what you doing how [TS]

  dare you [TS]

  hey listen if I'm going to sustain this [TS]

  not releasing records career i mean it [TS]

  all the bandwidth i can get also i would [TS]

  just like to say it is completely insane [TS]

  to use a service that doesn't do what [TS]

  you expected like Facebook I don't [TS]

  interface because who cares but you know [TS]

  eventually you will all not care as much [TS]

  as I don't care and you'll be so much [TS]

  happier but you know it just seems so [TS]

  weird to me like it seems like Facebook [TS]

  is predicated on this weird shell game [TS]

  about expectations [TS]

  it seems strange to me that you would [TS]

  like regardless of whatever their model [TS]

  is that you would post stuff that would [TS]

  appear somewhere like that you need [TS]

  don't know which or win that's so that [TS]

  sounds like the definition of madness to [TS]

  me this is what's confusing i guess [TS]

  what's confusing is that I had a brief [TS]

  moment there where being pithy [TS]

  with no expectations generated interest [TS]

  created and all right there was an [TS]

  audience for it and I was like well [TS]

  that's all you you and I and all of our [TS]

  friends have ever wanted is like can we [TS]

  get paid to just hang out and have to [TS]

  hang out in a Chinese restaurant and and [TS]

  and and just talk funny about uh about [TS]

  rock'n'roll isn't that it isn't a dream [TS]

  job though it's all we ever wanted and [TS]

  there was a brief moment there where [TS]

  like we were basically all hang out in [TS]

  chinese restaurant talking about [TS]

  rock'n'roll and it generated an audience [TS]

  and 404 and I was stupid enough to think [TS]

  like this is this will last and so now [TS]

  I'm yeah I'm back into the like oh shit [TS]

  i'm going to make something I gotta make [TS]

  something that like that I gotta make [TS]

  something that's bit that that rises up [TS]

  above the din so I mean I'm sympathetic [TS]

  sign you know I hate to admit it but I [TS]

  feel the same way I I don't check in on [TS]

  my twitter timeline like I used to now i [TS]

  will kind of guy I am like beyond okay [TS]

  to just let the whole thing go by and [TS]

  I'll pop in a couple times a week and go [TS]

  home clean favorite favorite that let [TS]

  you know and like oh that's funny re 22 [TS]

  or whatever down the a no longer you [TS]

  know if I'm going to San Francisco all i [TS]

  do is i tweet i'm going to San Francisco [TS]

  see you guys there with the assumption [TS]

  that all my friends are watching my [TS]

  Twitter to see what i'm doing and then [TS]

  when i get to san francisco my choirs [TS]

  everybody and then I realize oh nobody [TS]

  is watching Twitter anymore nobody is [TS]

  nobody and and i don't i have not either [TS]

  gone back to actually texting emailing [TS]

  my actual friends or figured out a new [TS]

  way to me that was what Twitter was [TS]

  originally designed to do right so good [TS]

  yeah I'm I'm there's anything that [TS]

  Twitter was for that was kind of it i'm [TS]

  at this bar tonight you know and all [TS]

  your friends would see it right and that [TS]

  gets me the second point which is a can [TS]

  be frustrating because it's more of a [TS]

  story statement of the problem but [TS]

  when my mom bought a house we were when [TS]

  i was ten and she did something that was [TS]

  really really strange my mom and [TS]

  immediately but it's all the dirty [TS]

  thoughts were inside she she did [TS]

  something that was very strange by my [TS]

  mom standards we know we had a very we [TS]

  didn't have a lot of dough but she did [TS]

  one of those weird single mom things [TS]

  that still seems really strange but and [TS]

  yet very interesting which was that like [TS]

  we didn't even have we don't have a [TS]

  touch-tone phone but we had an office [TS]

  phone like a business phone in our [TS]

  kitchen so on the wall in our kitchen we [TS]

  had a phone and it had a whole button [TS]

  and it had you know what you think about [TS]

  this remember those old phones we get [TS]

  the one left to get the hold button and [TS]

  then you get the first line second line [TS]

  and so on the room and member of lines [TS]

  hold line is the hold button is red and [TS]

  yeah exactly and I wasn't white [TS]

  yeah in in 1976 we had a home line and a [TS]

  business line which is like like you [TS]

  could see somebody like fancy having [TS]

  that but this is our [TS]

  twenty-thousand-dollar house and [TS]

  Cincinnati my mom had this she had a [TS]

  personal line and a business line and it [TS]

  was such an interesting idea because you [TS]

  know for her real estate business if [TS]

  anybody needed to call her losses of [TS]

  course years and years before mobile [TS]

  phones [TS]

  what they call her that she had her work [TS]

  number and she had this like home [TS]

  business number and they were very [TS]

  different rules i was never ever to use [TS]

  that the business line for stuff because [TS]

  that's not what it was for you and your [TS]

  kind of like that that seems so exotic [TS]

  to me like you think about being think [TS]

  about how you are when you're 10 years [TS]

  old and the idea of like having the [TS]

  phone in your kitchen have a whole [TS]

  button nobody had that when we were kids [TS]

  absolutely unheard of [TS]

  and the problem is like your twitter is [TS]

  like eight different doesn't have a [TS]

  whole button it but it does have like it [TS]

  should have numerous white buttons but [TS]

  it's really just one big white button so [TS]

  yeah using right you're using it to talk [TS]

  to your friends you're using it to be [TS]

  funny to strangers [TS]

  you're using it to promote your business [TS]

  you are using it to talk about politics [TS]

  and sometimes you're using it to bitch [TS]

  about how the door on the plane just [TS]

  closed and you know all the people who [TS]

  follow you are seeing theoretically all [TS]

  of those and so you know part of what [TS]

  made it so great was it well it is so [TS]

  simple i mean the rules of Twitter are [TS]

  just wonderfully simple but I think [TS]

  you're running up against what a lot of [TS]

  people don't run up against look how do [TS]

  you how can you be a real person on [TS]

  there with just that one big white [TS]

  button but that that integration of all [TS]

  those different realms was was the [TS]

  primary revolution for me because before [TS]

  that you know the challenge I always [TS]

  felt was my songs are a place the where [TS]

  I'm where I'm very passionate and I [TS]

  write about my feelings and I read about [TS]

  girls and I read about being [TS]

  disappointed and I write about being you [TS]

  know lonely and scared they are not [TS]

  especially funny songs they aren't [TS]

  especially they're not political songs [TS]

  they aren't you know that and and I [TS]

  always felt like when my songs were my [TS]

  only ambassador to the world that I had [TS]

  all this other pent-up energy and desire [TS]

  to be understood and unlike a lot of my [TS]

  peers I mean a lot of the guys I know [TS]

  just like I don't like doing interviews [TS]

  LOL the song speak from you know the [TS]

  songs will speak for themselves and I [TS]

  was absolutely opposite i was like [TS]

  please give me an interview so i can [TS]

  contextualize this music in a in the [TS]

  larger picture of like how I see the [TS]

  world and Twitter was the first time I [TS]

  had I had access to people who were [TS]

  interested in my songs and wanted to [TS]

  know more [TS]

  where I could just speak directly across [TS]

  80 and and yes get into fights with [TS]

  hilton hotels and yes talk about things [TS]

  late at night and make jokes you know [TS]

  and and that integration that one button [TS]

  was like I felt like Oh finally I didn't [TS]

  want I didn't want my songs to be this [TS]

  separate realm because everytime [TS]

  everytime i would read a review about my [TS]

  music where they're like well this guy [TS]

  obviously doesn't know how words work [TS]

  he's his music is just you know he's [TS]

  just throwing random words and a a [TS]

  dartboard [TS]

  I was like you fucking idiot how can use [TS]

  I mean how could you listen to my music [TS]

  and think that and ever since twitter i [TS]

  have felt very confident that even a [TS]

  cursory search if you are interested in [TS]

  the long winters a cursory search will [TS]

  will deliver a person to a place where [TS]

  the whole spectrum is at least available [TS]

  to see and the idea that that I would [TS]

  have to start cutting that up again and [TS]

  say like because you know i own at the [TS]

  long winters and at long winters I have [TS]

  those Twitter accounts and I've never [TS]

  used either one of them I wanted them so [TS]

  nobody else would take them but I didn't [TS]

  want to have a band account that was [TS]

  just like coming to your town [TS]

  well is that there's a there's like that [TS]

  let's be honest it's a there's a [TS]

  strategic reason for not doing that you [TS]

  you rather your good friend mr. Hodgman [TS]

  about wanting to convert his Twitter [TS]

  following into a tumblr following yeah [TS]

  but that that Nina which when you when [TS]

  you're as likely that's what you're [TS]

  talking about here is like I i have like [TS]

  probably 15 different twitter handles [TS]

  for different things but there's not [TS]

  much point to it because for whatever [TS]

  inexplicable reason fake hotdogs ladies [TS]

  oh I'm a lot of my fake Merlin I'm nice [TS]

  Merlin I don't think I'm fake hotdogs [TS]

  ladies if it's not funny it's not me [TS]

  okay all minor funny yeah and not [TS]

  updated as you do but I but you know I [TS]

  could do that but you know that the the [TS]

  percentage of people who would go and [TS]

  follow that particular thing would be [TS]

  far less than 1% of the following that I [TS]

  get with this this one that's already [TS]

  been sort of established or whatever and [TS]

  so I mean there's a business reason for [TS]

  not doing that but also everything you [TS]

  described right there that would work [TS]

  not to get all malcolm gladwell that [TS]

  would work up to 250 or 200 people maybe [TS]

  500 people depending on how active they [TS]

  were but after that point you have you [TS]

  mean I know you know this but you have [TS]

  to remember that everything you say on [TS]

  there regardless of which mask you're [TS]

  wearing at the time or which persona [TS]

  you're speaking in norwich business [TS]

  you're speaking in service of you know [TS]

  that the person who follows you like the [TS]

  extremely small number of people who [TS]

  follow you because of your politics is [TS]

  I'm super sorry for now for now but I [TS]

  mean all the people who would follow [TS]

  along because of some squirrely [TS]

  political belief you have could care [TS]

  less about whether you can't take care [TS]

  less who you're playing with tonight [TS]

  yeah i mean like why are you talking [TS]

  more about this thing that I like you [TS]

  know that's the problem is that like it [TS]

  but we will act surprised when that [TS]

  happens well it's like we deliberately [TS]

  you know created this one place we could [TS]

  find out all of these things but then we [TS]

  seem really confused that people want [TS]

  different things out of it and write its [TS]

  i agree with you it's just that it got [TS]

  big and like we had the curse of this [TS]

  thing becoming bigger than we expected [TS]

  and then it didn't so I mean like I [TS]

  personally I've made my peace with that [TS]

  like to me it's just a funny joke [TS]

  platform it's likely place for like I [TS]

  talked about too many intricate details [TS]

  of my life because it doesn't scale [TS]

  right but you are developing a new [TS]

  platform somewhere where you can talk [TS]

  about comic books I i hear the rumble [TS]

  and line I hear the rumblings in the [TS]

  streets [TS]

  I i know that you cannot continue to not [TS]

  have a place to talk about comic books [TS]

  platform i caught a bus stop and so I [TS]

  mean you're absolutely right i would not [TS]

  the only reason the only built there are [TS]

  only five people in the world that [TS]

  really want to hear every single thing I [TS]

  say until they were you what tumor me [TS]

  one of them is my mom and then two other [TS]

  you know and then two stalkers [TS]

  you know and then two stalkers [TS]

  but uh Ben and I know that because like [TS]

  I follow a lot of my friends and and [TS]

  there and every one of them has a place [TS]

  in their in their core interests where I [TS]

  go oh my god not this again but at the [TS]

  same time like I that desire to be a to [TS]

  be an integrated person and to take your [TS]

  to take your party to the world like I [TS]

  mean and at i guess that i guess the [TS]

  reason that television or or radio or [TS]

  books or I'll have any media is is such [TS]

  a narrow aperture is that the love of [TS]

  God nobody wants to have everything from [TS]

  from any one person if that I guess a [TS]

  novel or aura like journal writing would [TS]

  be the closest would be the most the [TS]

  closest you could get but you know but [TS]

  you might love love named Norman [TS]

  Mailer's books but you don't want to [TS]

  like be with him like Hitler's paintings [TS]

  but I don't want his recipes Hitler's [TS]

  paintings did I tell you that I went [TS]

  through a phase where I thought maybe I [TS]

  was gonna buy a Hitler painting how I'd [TS]

  love to hear about that I i realized [TS]

  that you can go online it's a dark dark [TS]

  corner of the internet but there is a [TS]

  dealer that specializes in Hitler [TS]

  watercolors and they're not they're not [TS]

  his best work all of all of Hitler's [TS]

  great you know like big full-size [TS]

  canvases i'll probably probably [TS]

  destroyed him [TS]

  no no no they are they are held in [TS]

  private collections through they are [TS]

  really surprised the Allies would let [TS]

  those live well this is the thing that [TS]

  they are i mean there is this [TS]

  there is this world of people that [TS]

  collect fucked up shit and Hitler [TS]

  paintings is one of those things where [TS]

  you don't publicize it it's not a thing [TS]

  that you can really be above ground [TS]

  about [TS]

  but there are people that have big [TS]

  Hitler paintings on the wall and their [TS]

  value is at least right now their value [TS]

  is still very curious and you know what [TS]

  I mean like it isn't it's still not okay [TS]

  to have a Hitler painting now maybe a [TS]

  hundred years like I mean Jane Mansfield [TS]

  scarf or something it's something or you [TS]

  know at games car the our worst like [TS]

  owning jayne mansfield's tooth you know [TS]

  where it's like what how did you get [TS]

  that oh well I kind of can't talk about [TS]

  it but it's you know like here's jayne [TS]

  mansfield's tooth because during her [TS]

  autopsy like some unscrupulous doctor [TS]

  pulled it and sold it to a guy like I [TS]

  hit but a Hitler Hitler painting and I [TS]

  and I believe that there will come a [TS]

  time when when when those are I mean [TS]

  because like a painting by Napoleon or [TS]

  even a painting by tom who's like a who [TS]

  is a dastardly person from history [TS]

  that's been dead long john wayne gacy [TS]

  well but even Gacy paintings like that [TS]

  you can utilize that was an industry he [TS]

  did and the people that own Gacy [TS]

  paintings are a particular type of [TS]

  roller derby boyfriend know that makes [TS]

  you have but that's like the this those [TS]

  people have although the research you [TS]

  know modern primitive books on their [TS]

  shows and Danny and they think that [TS]

  their that they're edgy better like a [TS]

  Hitler painting [TS]

  first of all is a is a more expensive [TS]

  proposition and also you know a pretty [TS]

  ugly thing in the sense that even if [TS]

  it's a a watercolor of a stream running [TS]

  through a forest every time you look at [TS]

  it you have to say why do I have that [TS]

  oh that's right it was he was I wasn't [TS]

  that good right [TS]

  Hitler I mean easy easy he is he's a [TS]

  better painter than half the paintings [TS]

  that are on the wall of my house that I [TS]

  bought at the store five dollars which [TS]

  AC then by a hit [TS]

  no Jason likes modern art and Hitler is [TS]

  you know it's like pretty pretty art [TS]

  school watercolors pastoral yeah right [TS]

  or you know or he was really good at [TS]

  architecture he was really bad at figure [TS]

  drawing so so he painted a lot of [TS]

  buildings huh boy that's ironic and miss [TS]

  the video do you think about that really [TS]

  is and i would love I would love a [TS]

  catalog he got he got the idea of a [TS]

  good-looking Berlin but he just couldn't [TS]

  get people i would love I without my god [TS]

  hang on a second long bell [TS]

  I he I would love a catalog of all the [TS]

  buildings in munich and vienna that [TS]

  Hitler painted that were destroyed in [TS]

  the war [TS]

  Wow much better than I thought well see [TS]

  wow so so happy its perspectives pretty [TS]

  good and the problem that you know what [TS]

  they say is if Hitler it if you could go [TS]

  back in time all you do it all you would [TS]

  do is go tell her what a good painter he [TS]

  was and and and avert the war that his [TS]

  father was getting her she was you know [TS]

  Hitler was was criticized by his harsh [TS]

  art school teachers who said even never [TS]

  to be a good pages it's not good [TS]

  this is terrible but in fact he did she [TS]

  he should have just set up a easel in [TS]

  like this [TS]

  the with the German version of [TS]

  fisherman's wharf [TS]

  yeah exactly the last week the students [TS]

  works and and sad and painted painted [TS]

  buildings and watercolors all day he was [TS]

  fine but in any case I I there was a [TS]

  period there where I had you know a [TS]

  little extra money lying around and I [TS]

  was like you know what I'm gonna do I'm [TS]

  gonna buy a painting by Hitler and [TS]

  then i got for your moments of reports [TS]

  then I put up i put in square on the [TS]

  wall and I was like okay that's your [TS]

  Hitler painting now every time you walk [TS]

  past there and you look at that and you [TS]

  think that's a Hitler painting [TS]

  how do you feel yeah and i walked i [TS]

  walked by and I looked at this square on [TS]

  the wall for a couple of weeks and every [TS]

  time I looked at it I was like what [TS]

  because that's where all that's my hip [TS]

  my painting Oh Hitler painting that's my [TS]

  it looks like that's not cool that's not [TS]

  cool dude to Hitler painting ladies [TS]

  people are going to be creeped out like [TS]

  yeah there's going to be a girl that [TS]

  comes over and she's like the problem [TS]

  with Hitler painting is you don't have [TS]

  it and then keep it a secret is that the [TS]

  whole point a girl comes over she's like [TS]

  oh what's this painting and you go [TS]

  that's my hands are paining well [TS]

  actually that's by adults Hitler and [TS]

  then she's going to get her coat and [TS]

  she's gonna walk out of the house [TS]

  without another thing without another [TS]

  word because that's fucked up here and [TS]

  so I did not get a Hitler painting but I [TS]

  really thought about it for awhile [TS]

  because the because they're so fraught [TS]

  like it's all in the painting you hit [TS]

  there he was and he was like this is [TS]

  what I'm going to do I'm going to be a [TS]

  great one of these papers and then he [TS]

  was not and then he then he killed [TS]

  millions millions of people yeah and [TS]

  destroyed all of Europe and so I don't [TS]

  know it's like what I would i get a stop [TS]

  I think I would i think i would be more [TS]

  likely to have a stolen painting because [TS]

  even though Stalin killed more people [TS]

  who there's just a interview get to [TS]

  speak at the sense of Stalin you don't [TS]

  you don't get the Hitler stigma he's not [TS]

  quite so Hilary style and I mean we [TS]

  don't live in a world where Stalin's [TS]

  crimes really touched us as much but you [TS]

  know Stalin just seemed like he was [TS]

  doing the best he could and when was a [TS]

  paranoid sociopath like to see what that [TS]

  guy in Turkmenistan like to see what he [TS]

  could come up with remember him getting [TS]

  all the months after his family and [TS]

  sure that's still around he's not gone I [TS]

  was healing power [TS]

  yeah he keeps his bill he's building [TS]

  like his own brazilian you know the [TS]

  story of brasilia where they were like [TS]

  we're going to build a modern capital [TS]

  and we're going to put it out in the [TS]

  middle of the jungle in a place where no [TS]

  one should ever build the city and it's [TS]

  going to be this amazing campus except [TS]

  it's called a kind of thing you have you [TS]

  ever seen pictures of the of the city of [TS]

  Brazilian now I don't know [TS]

  well brasilia is the capital of Brazil [TS]

  and it was built out of whole cloth to [TS]

  be like a representative of Brazil into [TS]

  the future and it looks like EPCOT [TS]

  Center know it looks like it looks like [TS]

  the world's fair of 1939 but it's an [TS]

  actual city where government work is [TS]

  supposed to get done and the guy in [TS]

  Turkmenistan is building like his [TS]

  capital looks like it really looks like [TS]

  the strip in las vegas there's a pyramid [TS]

  there's an Eiffel Tower you know like [TS]

  the the library is the official library [TS]

  of turkmenistan is like a one quarter [TS]

  sized moon it looks like a Shakey's [TS]

  Pizza one quarter sized crystal moon [TS]

  uh it's it's an insect it's just insane [TS]

  and it's like it's like I don't know he [TS]

  was still around he was real hot for a [TS]

  while to remember you hear about I know [TS]

  it's not the thing is I know it's not [TS]

  joking i know he's actually also like a [TS]

  horrible person it's not just be silly [TS]

  but he's really really silly [TS]

  am I right yeah yeah you like to do like [TS]

  the like like beyond mouth like they [TS]

  need you incredibly capricious things [TS]

  with naming things and yeah he's bad and [TS]

  he makes everybody in his country uh you [TS]

  know like wear a hat on tuesdays is [TS]

  shaped like a flower [TS]

  I mean he sees these fully bonkers but [TS]

  the thing the thing about a guy like [TS]

  that and and and and his insanity and [TS]

  probably the brutality that's just under [TS]

  the surface is that we give such a pass [TS]

  to Dubai they'll write the Emir's of a [TS]

  of the Persian Gulf [TS]

  I don't think they get the past that [TS]

  they used to but yeah you're right but [TS]

  you know like we are allowing [TS]

  that we are we are globally allowing [TS]

  that all that is a valid banking center [TS]

  ony you is opening a campus they're [TS]

  apparently the Louvre is opening a [TS]

  branch Louvre in dubai there you know [TS]

  like we are we are we are as a people as [TS]

  a global people rewarding the insanity [TS]

  of two x which is which is a nose [TS]

  slightly more obviously liberal than [TS]

  turkmenistan but just as bonkers [TS]

  I mean that the capital programs and I'm [TS]

  and I can only imagine like what the [TS]

  immigrant workers are being treated like [TS]

  they're so it's a it's another it's [TS]

  another like kind of now we now we love [TS]

  Saddam Hussein now we hate him now we [TS]

  love a bin Laden now we hate him [TS]

  it's like right now these these guys are [TS]

  friends these these crazy desperate so I [TS]

  have been so nice to be an [TS]

  anti-communist lunatic in the sixties [TS]

  and seventies Kiki imagine how much like [TS]

  awesome free shit you could have gotten [TS]

  think about how many lunatics we support [TS]

  just because they were against communism [TS]

  right yeah sure like like permanent [TS]

  marker like if you were just vetting [TS]

  sitting around whatever like setting the [TS]

  Shah marcos any number of people in [TS]

  Central American O'Shea my god [TS]

  unbelievable but you gotta head that [TS]

  could've really been in your wheelhouse [TS]

  back then John that happened in America [TS]

  to I know a guy who was a Soviet scholar [TS]

  in the sixties seventies and eighties he [TS]

  was a guy who told you the truth about [TS]

  the TV the truth you didn't hear about [TS]

  believing the Soviets were a threat was [TS]

  going to mention a few months ago who [TS]

  you talk to who told you that they have [TS]

  people actually were convinced that the [TS]

  Soviets were capable of more than yeah I [TS]

  don't but I'm not sure that guy the guy [TS]

  I'm talking about was a was a an [TS]

  academic had a career that you took him [TS]

  to the State Department [TS]

  Ben and and he was a guy who I can I [TS]

  mean I'm not embarrassed say should [TS]

  never have been given an e-portfolio of [TS]

  any kind [TS]

  ok that's a different person because [TS]

  this guy uh was a you know he was a [TS]

  Soviet scholar and his entire [TS]

  scholarship was based on his conviction [TS]

  that the Soviets were godless heathens [TS]

  and yet he had teaching positions in [TS]

  major universities right and was sent [TS]

  around the sound the around the world [TS]

  including to the Soviet Union for a [TS]

  years and learn to speak Russian and was [TS]

  a person who was like like living and [TS]

  studying the Soviets and yet never she [TS]

  was never was shaken for a moment from [TS]

  his complete conviction that they were [TS]

  that there was a completely bankrupt [TS]

  system and culture and people and you [TS]

  know he was just a big and herb he was a [TS]

  he was a paranoid bigot but because his [TS]

  because in academia there was a there [TS]

  was a need you know there were there [TS]

  were there were all these people from [TS]

  from Air America or whatever wandering [TS]

  around berkeley campus in 1968 trying to [TS]

  find one person that felt like the felt [TS]

  like communism was bad and when that [TS]

  person you know when some some bloody [TS]

  showed up in a three-piece suit with a [TS]

  pocket protector and said communism has [TS]

  got left on our they were like giving an [TS]

  immediate chairmanship and this guy had [TS]

  an entire career and I mean you know [TS]

  he's a nice enough guy but he should not [TS]

  have ever he should have been on the [TS]

  lunatic fringe but he but because he [TS]

  chose academia and there was and i'm [TS]

  absolutely sure and he he is blind to it [TS]

  he is oblivious to the fact that his [TS]

  entire career was a CIA [TS]

  he was he did he was not actually [TS]

  working for the CIA but they were they [TS]

  had to have been the reason that he ever [TS]

  got a job or was ever promoted the the [TS]

  timing favored him [TS]

  yeah well that the exactly like he was [TS]

  he was the first man marcos of apparent [TS]

  get it or whatever he was just using he [TS]

  probably doesn't phrase it that way in [TS]

  his resume know when he do anything he's [TS]

  unaware of it he was a bad academic and [TS]

  and and yet he continued to work and I'm [TS]

  sure he was marginalized by his [TS]

  colleagues but he continued to work [TS]

  because a guy in a blue suit showed up [TS]

  at the president of the university's [TS]

  office and said right this guy has a lot [TS]

  of interesting ideas and I really think [TS]

  that you would benefit from giving him [TS]

  this chaired position as he slides a [TS]

  brown envelope across the desk [TS]

  wow you know that had to be going on [TS]

  everywhere and it and it you know it [TS]

  goes on still it's basically the it's [TS]

  the same idea as as as all these museums [TS]

  devoted to intelligent design [TS]

  we're teaching the controversy / brown [TS]

  envelope across the desk is the question [TS]

  of course so in the fullness of time [TS]

  will you tell me you had that rectangle [TS]

  on your wall and you realized I don't [TS]

  want this to be my Hitler painting what [TS]

  did you do with the space [TS]

  did you feel something else usually the [TS]

  blank and memory or but what did you do [TS]

  well here's the here's my current [TS]

  problem which is that I have a lot of [TS]

  visual art that does not quite rise up [TS]

  to the level of actual art like Jason [TS]

  fins house as I've spoken about many [TS]

  times and crystal Lewis house to that [TS]

  that both of the both of my you know [TS]

  main Bros in presence of the USA have [TS]

  houses full of really cool art Jason's [TS]

  house is mostly art paintings crystals [TS]

  house is like really a a wonderfully [TS]

  curated collection of like raw [TS]

  arts you know and handicrafts and so [TS]

  forth that are better like fantastic and [TS]

  my house is really much more of a junk [TS]

  pile of garbage all you know that I [TS]

  would see but but but but honestly like [TS]

  I'm sitting in my room right now here [TS]

  I'm looking at a giant fabric a giant [TS]

  flag that says both the Communist ax [TS]

  that I tore down off of a balcony in [TS]

  barcelona in 1989 and got chased through [TS]

  the streets by the police and it is four [TS]

  foot square and then I have a painting [TS]

  an oil painting that an ex-girlfriend of [TS]

  herself on paper and gave me at gunpoint [TS]

  that I could never throw away because I [TS]

  think it's wonderful i have a a poster [TS]

  of nineteen seventies playmate taking [TS]

  her shirt off in a in a wheat field and [TS]

  that poster has been lacquered to a [TS]

  board and then the edges of the board [TS]

  are burned [TS]

  oh I know that look I have a rope where [TS]

  I have closed pinned a bunch of baseball [TS]

  hats to the Rope that's my baseball hat [TS]

  storage hack is it is if hang a rope and [TS]

  then closed pending baseball hat stands [TS]

  a good hack i have a Melvin's Nirvana [TS]

  dwarves sterile expo stir I've got a [TS]

  wonderful single of adriano celentano [TS]

  knows prison colon and not i love that [TS]

  so you turned me on to that that was [TS]

  sent to me by a girl who listens to our [TS]

  podcast no way off a girl in who lives [TS]

  in Italy who found it or maybe she [TS]

  ordered it from my god surround hell [TS]

  yeah 45 [TS]

  yeah I have a wind one of those like [TS]

  wind [TS]

  what the fuck is that called it's a it's [TS]

  it's it goes up on top of a barn in vain [TS]

  now when / weathervane but i will have a [TS]

  weather vane [TS]

  I have a rack of Varney sunglasses in [TS]

  every different color like so none of [TS]

  this is garbage to me i could sit and [TS]

  talk about every one of these items but [TS]

  they all taken together do not a form a [TS]

  collection of any kind be none of them [TS]

  and not no single one of them has any [TS]

  intrinsic value and all its it's all [TS]

  just crippled haha god and there's just [TS]

  hard to listen to John there's not [TS]

  enough space that she liked your [TS]

  playboys over on like a big speaker is [TS]

  very circles around a speaker okay [TS]

  there there wouldn't be enough space in [TS]

  a boeing aircraft hangar to put all of [TS]

  it on the wall at once and and honestly [TS]

  like I none of it actually broadcasts [TS]

  any kind of aesthetic other than this [TS]

  person has 24 different voices in his [TS]

  head and all times popular be talking to [TS]

  him in various accents and tell you to [TS]

  do [TS]

  oh I love my fans ha yr you're not [TS]

  putting this on the world like i have [TS]

  actually two without the record i have [TS]

  two different i'm looking now across the [TS]

  room i have two different frames picture [TS]

  frames one of them has all of the coins [TS]

  in circulation in 1941 in a picture [TS]

  frame each one with a little hand typed [TS]

  label underneath them saying 1941 [TS]

  Liberty walking dollar 1941 mercury dime [TS]

  that's in a picture frame and then I [TS]

  have another picture frame but not a [TS]

  matching picture frame but completely [TS]

  said that the first one is like brushed [TS]

  aluminum the second one is totally [TS]

  baroque brass frame that has all of the [TS]

  coins that my great uncle brought back [TS]

  from the Merchant Marines when he was [TS]

  when he went on his world tour in 1937 [TS]

  now the coin in the coinage value of [TS]

  those things is a thing that has value [TS]

  you could take those to you could take [TS]

  them out of the frames and take them and [TS]

  sell them individually for the value of [TS]

  their coins but as as displays yeah they [TS]

  just say these are on the wall of the [TS]

  house of a crazy person they say that [TS]

  let's not decide so much as lessons haha [TS]

  so so I don't know I'm trying I'm really [TS]

  trying to get a handle that there's that [TS]

  there's the old Alaska license plate [TS]

  from my Vespa said yeah you're looking [TS]

  for something that pulls it all together [TS]

  like do you need a physical piece you [TS]

  need like a sunday in the park [TS]

  kind of like to think i need a Hitler [TS]

  painting I just want to Hitler penny if [TS]

  I had a Hitler painting it would be it [TS]

  would be the crazy at the center is [TS]

  everything a little more edgy too [TS]

  yeah yeah then people would be like oh [TS]

  but that that merchant marine coin [TS]

  collection has it takes on a new strange [TS]

  vibration the Hitler painting would have [TS]

  been over there by the Bible plainly a [TS]

  little bit of an art hack but but if you [TS]

  did it i think it could really pull the [TS]

  room together i think the other problem [TS]

  was that all of that once I saw the [TS]

  Hitler paintings that were not available [TS]

  that because they were in private [TS]

  collections and then the poultry [TS]

  offerings that you could still buy I was [TS]

  like I don't want to substandard what [TS]

  they had somebody do a reproduction for [TS]

  you [TS]

  well I'm what was a bad person or a bad [TS]

  person did it sound like a really bad [TS]

  but what he found like extremely gifted [TS]

  artist who is an extremely bad person [TS]

  and and had them do it for you [TS]

  mm I don't mind that like donald [TS]

  rumsfeld did a invitation Hitler [TS]

  painting I really fucking hang the shit [TS]

  out of that on my wall right we go with [TS]

  the Hitler pain we've got the internet [TS]

  you know what in fact I now but I never [TS]

  would have thought of this but now i [TS]

  want some Donald Rumsfeld [TS]