Roderick on the Line

Ep. 87: "I Speak Sea Plane"

 

  hello John [TS]

  hi Merlin are you early hehe i read that [TS]

  on a card i was going to ask you how [TS]

  you're adjusting to these increasingly [TS]

  early recording times I liked him as i [TS]

  get older and older it's nice to spend [TS]

  to get up a little early i like to have [TS]

  the evenings free to move my bowels [TS]

  mmm i had a very interesting experience [TS]

  today i went to my taco bus where I [TS]

  normally go but usually at night you go [TS]

  to the taco bus and it's just all [TS]

  Volvo's lined up out front it's just [TS]

  people in in little software designer [TS]

  glasses with that with fleece pants and [TS]

  they're all lined up to get tacos but [TS]

  during the day you at lunchtime and it's [TS]

  it's all guys covered in sheetrock dust [TS]

  Wow right everybody in there is Hispanic [TS]

  the TV is playing or I guess I guess [TS]

  Latino is the preferred nomenclature the [TS]

  TV is playing some some novellas and a [TS]

  it's a it's a real it's real downtown [TS]

  scene during the day well I walk on the [TS]

  bus and I'm carrying my daughter and I [TS]

  have never felt like such a rockstar in [TS]

  my life because you know usually get on [TS]

  a bus and there's like 15 middle aged [TS]

  mexican guys on there you know maybe [TS]

  you're going to hear you're gonna nod to [TS]

  a couple of guys as you walk through but [TS]

  for the most part it's going to be a you [TS]

  know it's going to be a pretty neutral [TS]

  scene but I walked on the bus carrying [TS]

  this little two-year-old and every man [TS]

  on the bus smiled at me with the most [TS]

  genuine smile of friendship and [TS]

  brotherhood [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  and I was like completely bowled over [TS]

  you know you hear stories that that in [TS]

  the in Mexican culture and Latino [TS]

  culture that the role of the father the [TS]

  idea of the family is very strong but [TS]

  had never experienced it so profoundly [TS]

  as i did today [TS]

  walking walking carrying a little girl I [TS]

  felt like I would have felt like I was [TS]

  walking through a receiving line I [TS]

  almost high-fived everybody with your [TS]

  free hand and it was so them and the [TS]

  thing is they weren't like looking at [TS]

  her like oh what a cute girl like a lot [TS]

  of like you know kind of the volvo set [TS]

  would they glanced at her and then they [TS]

  looked at me and were like hey man how's [TS]

  it going dad and I just I felt like yeah [TS]

  I'm a dad [TS]

  hey what's up I'm a dad and that is a [TS]

  that is a that's a nice thing that's i'm [TS]

  a member of the community I'm known as [TS]

  the guys that that we know in neutral [TS]

  way never would have given you a second [TS]

  look before yeah we would have all just [TS]

  kind of been like not supposed to be [TS]

  talking is that you know if that if they [TS]

  would have looked up from their food but [TS]

  the fact that i had this little girl [TS]

  like big they turned one after the other [TS]

  turned from their food and gave me like [TS]

  a really human genuine like greeting of [TS]

  happy face and I was like wow it's like [TS]

  you're part of the fraternity now it is [TS]

  like I yeah it's like i'm a i'm a i'm a [TS]

  i'm a fully grown adults it took me all [TS]

  these years but now I I'm initiated into [TS]

  it's like it's like when you first grow [TS]

  a mustache and go to Turkey who you [TS]

  realize oh outside of America every [TS]

  grown man in the world is wearing a [TS]

  mustache like if you get from basically [TS]

  from Bucharest all the way to China [TS]

  every single man in that area has a [TS]

  mustache and then in china again we go [TS]

  back to a mustache 'less world [TS]

  butBut from Bucharest to say [TS]

  islamabad it's it's almost ashes all the [TS]

  way down and you feel like you know when [TS]

  you go to those places are like oh shit [TS]

  right you did hehe you can grow [TS]

  moustache and you do thats they probably [TS]

  invented the mustache but yeah I'm sure [TS]

  they did you think about how cultures [TS]

  work in you know places where you can [TS]

  grow corn you're likely to discover corn [TS]

  and then make stuff out of corn and you [TS]

  become like you know the corn place and [TS]

  this place those that from the age of [TS]

  like six most of those guys can grow [TS]

  mustaches right and then some of the [TS]

  ladies probably all their older brothers [TS]

  have mustaches and their grandfathers [TS]

  have big flourishing white mustaches so [TS]

  I felt a little bit like that I felt [TS]

  like I I was I had a mustache in the [TS]

  form of a baby [TS]

  well we had a very strange thing [TS]

  happened when I don my own wife got [TS]

  pregnant where you know let's speak in [TS]

  code you know my neighborhood I couldn't [TS]

  get the guy who runs of Civil War ghosts [TS]

  that's its triple you've seen him but [TS]

  like I have not in the almost 14 years [TS]

  I've lived here now I just got used to [TS]

  the fact that nobody looks at you [TS]

  nobody pays attention to you and the [TS]

  people in my neighborhood just have a [TS]

  completely different sense of how to [TS]

  operate in public and I'm accustomed to [TS]

  write about not just the not just the [TS]

  ethnic ethnic component but also at San [TS]

  Francisco and if you could look at [TS]

  somebody they may throw feces at well [TS]

  it's a pretty friendly town but i live [TS]

  in what is categorically the most [TS]

  conservative district and in all of San [TS]

  Francisco it is mostly people from China [TS]

  some people from the mines mostly people [TS]

  you know first second generation people [TS]

  from China simulation environment and [TS]

  first-hand first and second-generation [TS]

  people from Ireland only enough but a [TS]

  funny thing happened like I told you I [TS]

  used to this chinese place three times a [TS]

  week and the guy would not say anything [TS]

  to me he would not suggest anything off [TS]

  the menu [TS]

  nothing nobody looks at you everybody on [TS]

  on public trans just closes their eyes [TS]

  it's a completely insular world must by [TS]

  and large I like all of that crazy thing [TS]

  happened my wife got pregnant and we [TS]

  will go on public transit [TS]

  and everybody's face especially the old [TS]

  Chinese ladies their eyes would just [TS]

  light up and these people who never [TS]

  spoken a word to either of us in years [TS]

  we're certainly not only like smiling at [TS]

  us not only walking up to us [TS]

  can I just say old Chinese guy thing to [TS]

  do touch the ladies time without asking [TS]

  oh just walk up agency book if you're [TS]

  pregnant lady you're basically open [TS]

  source your open-source woman people [TS]

  just walk up and start touching and the [TS]

  same street today like we go to the zoo [TS]

  you know take me out very small amount [TS]

  of town that's left to the west of where [TS]

  I am i all on the white people are [TS]

  people are smiling and and you know just [TS]

  asking questions like how old are you [TS]

  interesting they're asking you how old [TS]

  you were let's have a big plan strong [TS]

  you know that's very similar to the [TS]

  experience that's the very very similar [TS]

  to the experience of having a successful [TS]

  band for the first time [TS]

  well I i really look forward to that for [TS]

  many years here in Seattle [TS]

  I what I I had you know I had a couple [TS]

  of bands the bun family players most [TS]

  notably three hours shower [TS]

  four out of five dentists the [TS]

  transnational z28 I had a lot of bands [TS]

  here and none of those bands were very [TS]

  popular but wasn't fun family players [TS]

  deliberately difficult in every [TS]

  community and every player's wasn't was [TS]

  intent was trying to be so was trying to [TS]

  be so smart that no one could like it [TS]

  like unfathomable yeah right and we and [TS]

  yet we developed we did develop a [TS]

  fanbase of people that that had that [TS]

  works that were broken inside but um [TS]

  during that time of course i was [TS]

  crossing paths with some of the same [TS]

  characters over and over right [TS]

  ken stringfellow being one of them are [TS]

  good friend Jason Finn another and both [TS]

  of those guys were were popular [TS]

  musicians that were in popular [TS]

  successful band categorically like major [TS]

  label popular bands of posies and [TS]

  presidents of the USA [TS]

  that's right amber and Jason before that [TS]

  he was in the president's he was in love [TS]

  that area which was a witch was a but [TS]

  not very good and spent but but still [TS]

  popular grunge band grunge era bandai [TS]

  say they weren't actually very grim g [TS]

  but so anyway I would I routinely see [TS]

  these guys I would see Jason every [TS]

  single day and I would see ken [TS]

  stringfellow you know that's not late at [TS]

  night belief that he would come out he'd [TS]

  come out and and to touch us and make us [TS]

  very cold but neither one of those guys [TS]

  ever acknowledge my existence and I've [TS]

  had this I've had this conversation with [TS]

  both the many times and they both deny [TS]

  or you know we're trying to rationalize [TS]

  or justify why it was that they never [TS]

  ever ever liked Jason would sit down at [TS]

  the same table i was sitting at and he [TS]

  was this way he would like move my beer [TS]

  glass so that it was out of his line of [TS]

  sight or whatever [TS]

  hey you just touched my glass and he was [TS]

  just kind of turn face the other way and [TS]

  talk to the girl that I had brought [TS]

  their as my date and uh and ken Ken [TS]

  would actually like draw blood from the [TS]

  girl that I was sitting next to and make [TS]

  her one of the undead and never look at [TS]

  me once and then one day i had i hadn't [TS]

  a band that was that that people liked [TS]

  the Western State hurricanes and we [TS]

  played our second or third show and I [TS]

  swear to you can Stringfellow just like [TS]

  a little Chinese man he didn't you tell [TS]

  me it came up in touch my tummy [TS]

  he came up and handed me his business [TS]

  card that was a black and be definitely [TS]

  or even close and he said hello like it [TS]

  you should give me a call let's hang out [TS]

  sometime as though we knew each other [TS]

  and I just didn't I just hadn't had his [TS]

  recent business card or whatever and [TS]

  Jason been even better came up put his [TS]

  arm around me was like John Roderick my [TS]

  good buddy my old pal like he knew i was [TS]

  actually sounded alarmingly like Jason [TS]

  that was really good [TS]

  thank you I've been practicing that but [TS]

  let's get the cake and didn't catch a [TS]

  really really you know vampiric [TS]

  tendencies is extremely smart guy is but [TS]

  he said he thought he could play it off [TS]

  legit that like this was your first [TS]

  meeting [TS]

  ok and Jason are bolts incredible wanted [TS]

  me to stay since last part but [TS]

  the fact that you could walk up to [TS]

  somebody you've seen for months or years [TS]

  and handling business card like it was [TS]

  the first time you met [TS]

  well the thing is in a way it was the [TS]

  first time we met that I've come to [TS]

  understand over the years that in fact [TS]

  before i had a successful band i did not [TS]

  exist there was no reason to know me and [TS]

  then there was a reason to know me and I [TS]

  did I was like it was like i [TS]

  materialized out of out of the like like [TS]

  what's the ghost army of a betrayer [TS]

  souls that live under the mountain in [TS]

  the return of the king the again [TS]

  whoever they are it's just re the the [TS]

  the Ghora who live under the mountain [TS]

  but um hey uh you know they materialize [TS]

  and then and then they become well and [TS]

  actually they stay did but that's about [TS]

  the perfect metaphor but I didn't stay [TS]

  dead but it was like I was undead and [TS]

  then became alive [TS]

  I think I know what you mean now because [TS]

  I i have a similar problem in that ID [TS]

  not I may be clever but i am not smart [TS]

  and my retention for things is terrible [TS]

  I've tried desperately over the years [TS]

  anal retention was fantastic you [TS]

  wouldn't know it looking at this desk [TS]

  buddy i haven't have invested my [TS]

  spider-woman months you know what i mean [TS]

  III but no but the problem is like I you [TS]

  know they say that old thing they used [TS]

  to say in advertising i have no way of [TS]

  knowing if this is true turns out that [TS]

  you have to hear an advertising message [TS]

  13 times before and registers whatever [TS]

  that you know old saw is five [TS]

  impressions a five major impressions i [TS]

  have to meet somebody [TS]

  several times I mean and it's getting [TS]

  worse and worse and worse it takes more [TS]

  impressions and it isn't because I'm [TS]

  trying to be fancy [TS]

  it doesn't matter it's just what I [TS]

  remember I remember the face I I know [TS]

  I've said this before I remember the [TS]

  face of an extraordinary number of [TS]

  people people serve servers one time [TS]

  somebody at gas station somebody who is [TS]

  sitting next to me in a waiting room i [TS]

  will remember for years but there are [TS]

  people who i have online intercourse [TS]

  with that I that I talk too frequently [TS]

  all i know is they're fake twitter name [TS]

  and then I meet them and they go and i'm [TS]

  joe bob and I'm like hi [TS]

  haha like no I'm insipid Cupid Galactus [TS]

  65000 you have the icon of that cartoon [TS]

  thing right now writes and writes but [TS]

  you know I really want to meet people I [TS]

  want them to have like a hello my name [TS]

  is with their stupid icon and they're [TS]

  fake internet name because it does take [TS]

  a lot and even in a place as relatively [TS]

  small and densely packed with talent as [TS]

  seattle it must be hard i mean in know [TS]

  in fairness to somebody like candles [TS]

  probably a lot of people who have come [TS]

  over the years and said hi expecting [TS]

  them to remember [TS]

  well I mean key to the stories that I've [TS]

  never once went up to him and said hi [TS]

  and all that time I was that I was [TS]

  standing there waiting for him to [TS]

  recognize me of course they never did [TS]

  until that David it [TS]

  how did you feel do you feel what was [TS]

  what if you were if you can put yourself [TS]

  take yourself back to those halcyon days [TS]

  what 98-99 what what did that feel like [TS]

  where you plant a brief moment where you [TS]

  get angrier i was a little bit and there [TS]

  was that there was the moment I was [TS]

  sitting at the bar the crocodile and [TS]

  that the the the old booking agent the [TS]

  crocodiles name is Christine who for [TS]

  years had required me to submit another [TS]

  cassette tape every time I wanted to [TS]

  book a show even though we had just [TS]

  played their week and a half before the [TS]

  problem process of tables with that she [TS]

  was like well you better send in a demo [TS]

  and I was like you have for my demos and [TS]

  she's like yeah better send another one [TS]

  and you could just you could just tell [TS]

  that she was she was taping over all the [TS]

  demo she got and putting you know [TS]

  putting built to spill records on them [TS]

  or whatever and probably selling the [TS]

  garage sales and so this gal like comes [TS]

  up to me sits down on the bar stool next [TS]

  to me at the bar and she goes John you [TS]

  know like very familiar [TS]

  let's talk about making the Western [TS]

  State hurricanes the house band at the [TS]

  crocodile where you don't play any other [TS]

  clubs in town you just play the crock [TS]

  and we make a thing where it's like the [TS]

  western state and the crocodile together [TS]

  forever and I was just like wow really [TS]

  seriously eight months ago [TS]

  you eight months ago I would call you on [TS]

  the phone and you would you told me to [TS]

  send you another tape after three years [TS]

  of sending you tapes and now you wanna [TS]

  do you want me to like pledge allegiance [TS]

  to this bar and I was mad I was mad [TS]

  until a little bit of time passed and I [TS]

  realize like no actually okay like this [TS]

  is how how it works [TS]

  it's how it works and I'm and I'm going [TS]

  I'm grateful that I made it I made it [TS]

  through the door to look back and see [TS]

  how that how it works and for a while [TS]

  then I then I was like trying to bring [TS]

  my friends with me through the door and [TS]

  I realized after a while you keep kind [TS]

  of couldn't do that either [TS]

  you know like everybody has to make it [TS]

  through the door unless I'm really [TS]

  that's a good way to put it [TS]

  it's um it's I I think I i have this you [TS]

  know me i had this personal loathing of [TS]

  people who are overtly trying to network [TS]

  or trying to have an effect familiarity [TS]

  that isn't really there or you know [TS]

  often at the same time trying to give [TS]

  you the equivalent of a casual resume of [TS]

  all the amazing things that they've done [TS]

  none of which are particularly amazing [TS]

  you are so hilarious when someone comes [TS]

  up to you at an event i think i'm not [TS]

  and effects out over-familiar ok now [TS]

  those people are not a nice to art so [TS]

  you're not gonna meet many nicer people [TS]

  that you when you meet them [TS]

  you're not going to me i'm just gonna [TS]

  say for myself I say this twice a year [TS]

  I'm a lot nicer than people would think [TS]

  oh no you're extremely nice but your I [TS]

  think you did there the one they're the [TS]

  person comes up to me and says hey I [TS]

  like that thing you do [TS]

  they're gonna be the one that's gonna be [TS]

  like back moving backwards toward the [TS]

  door after three hours now you're gonna [TS]

  have to wipe spooge on their face the [TS]

  whole time [TS]

  don't worry where we go we'll find [TS]

  something to talk about but you suffer [TS]

  fools maybe less than anyone i know is [TS]

  that a compliment and it really is i [TS]

  mean in the sense that let me just say [TS]

  let me just say this you are one of the [TS]

  rare people wear you wear when you go [TS]

  after somebody it the house that has [TS]

  come up to you and and and and played [TS]

  the play they're wrong car service when [TS]

  found one take [TS]

  when you go after somebody like you are [TS]

  one of the rare people that can actually [TS]

  make me uncomfortable as a buy-sell oh [TS]

  come on i mean because i am laughing [TS]

  just saying that to be nice and laughing [TS]

  inside and my name's i'm squirming in my [TS]

  chair like a little boy like all of a [TS]

  sudden my chair gets big and my don't [TS]

  touch the floor anymore and I'm like oh [TS]

  my God we're gonna make not as you [TS]

  proceed to because what you do is you [TS]

  you continue to lead them down the [TS]

  primrose path that they have paved a [TS]

  little ways like you often you often go [TS]

  oh hello and you effect a kind of like [TS]

  tell me more about your startup and you [TS]

  get them you get them a little bit out [TS]

  on the pier before you take the pilings [TS]

  away but I think the reason people did [TS]

  thank you so much that's the hugest [TS]

  compliment i've gotten all year [TS]

  that's if I'm going to be no that's [TS]

  that's what I'm okay with so good thank [TS]

  you everybody should see it once [TS]

  everybody in the world should see you [TS]

  like going places with you it's always [TS]

  takes time to pick someone out of the [TS]

  knees haha now maybe that giving my [TS]

  reality show i really want to go now i [TS]

  want to go to a tech conference with you [TS]

  oh no no you don't mind if I swear [TS]

  disguise I've learned i think one word [TS]

  Nick I forget where I learned a new word [TS]

  want renew or oh haha it's like a very [TS]

  day area thing like somebody who really [TS]

  it kind of considers themselves in an [TS]

  entrepreneur even though they have [TS]

  really done anything right [TS]

  but the reason I say that is first of [TS]

  all thank you but also that I think when [TS]

  you see that networking thing you see [TS]

  people who maybe read books or people [TS]

  who have tried to reverse engineer the [TS]

  process that you and I are sadly [TS]

  admitting to be as we say how things are [TS]

  and how things r is that you have to be [TS]

  out there and people have to see you and [TS]

  people have to go oh that's that one guy [TS]

  who either a nose this friend of mine [TS]

  this kind of famous or B does this thing [TS]

  i've heard of whether I like it or not [TS]

  or if you actually experienced it i've [TS]

  heard of it and i think that i think [TS]

  people try really really hard to do that [TS]

  and the thing is the irony is that's not [TS]

  at all hard to pull off once you've [TS]

  actually done that for once you actually [TS]

  know people you want to hopefully not be [TS]

  a dick about it but it's it's brutally [TS]

  painful to watch when it's not [TS]

  working and and but people keep doing it [TS]

  and I guess if you do it long enough you [TS]

  get kind of famous with somebody I not [TS]

  necessarily somebody very interesting [TS]

  but it's a terrible way to try and have [TS]

  an actual human connection with somebody [TS]

  it's a miserable way to try and make a [TS]

  friend [TS]

  well and I think I think what happens is [TS]

  people develop these alternate universe [TS]

  cultures where they are populated with [TS]

  people who have not actually done the [TS]

  work to get through the door on their [TS]

  own and you get you [TS]

  I mean you go to parties all the time [TS]

  where everybody there is a is in the [TS]

  music business if you ask them what they [TS]

  do and then as you you know as you [TS]

  circulate through the room you realize [TS]

  like oh no one here is in the music [TS]

  business [TS]

  everybody here is everybody there are [TS]

  some people who are being funded by [TS]

  their parents there are some people who [TS]

  are who are incredible networkers there [TS]

  are people here who have filled out a [TS]

  lot of online forms to win songwriting [TS]

  contests you know like a mountain music [TS]

  there's a whole there's a whole [TS]

  constellation of ways to join the music [TS]

  business and build up a whole wikipedia [TS]

  entry of all the songwriting contests [TS]

  you've won and none of it is really the [TS]

  music business and none of it is the [TS]

  work that you need to do to get through [TS]

  the door and I that I think the wanted [TS]

  preneur scene is probably a thousand [TS]

  times [TS]

  that's true of any thousand times more [TS]

  because you can write a book about [TS]

  entrepreneurship you can you can start [TS]

  25 businesses that all that all fail or [TS]

  make you have a login a podcast about I [TS]

  mean I've certainly done it you can [TS]

  create you create this meta work in that [TS]

  case about like you know bridging the [TS]

  gap how to go from being a want ranaut [TS]

  to have been there preneur I i had i was [TS]

  lucky enough to have dinner with Paula [TS]

  Tompkins the other night here in Seattle [TS]

  and I had a similar conversation where I [TS]

  was where I caught myself being that [TS]

  the yo-yo because I you know I admire [TS]

  Paul just to make sure he recognizes who [TS]

  I am thing [TS]

  no it was that and this is a [TS]

  conversation I've had with Paula [TS]

  Tompkins before and I forgot that I had [TS]

  done it already and I did it again but [TS]

  he Paul after 30 years of doing stand-up [TS]

  since he was 12 years old has over the [TS]

  last several years transitioned his [TS]

  stand-up comedy into a more storytelling [TS]

  long-form kind of a format that I really [TS]

  identify with you know like I love to [TS]

  tell stories i have told stories for a [TS]

  long time and as he and as comedy in [TS]

  general like I see this more and more [TS]

  this format of like long-form stories [TS]

  that are that are humorous and have [TS]

  punch lines but they aren't it's not a [TS]

  string of jokes you know it's like [TS]

  stories from life that are meant to be [TS]

  both thought provoking and also very [TS]

  funny and so I identify with this style [TS]

  of comedy and i watch people like Paul [TS]

  do it and I think I make the classic I [TS]

  mean the primary error of saying I can [TS]

  do that and then I make the secondary [TS]

  error of saying I already do that like [TS]

  the 20 years that I've spent for 25 [TS]

  years I've spent so many people used to [TS]

  do this with stand-up where you go i [TS]

  consider myself a funny person and all [TS]

  my brothers if I have a date right think [TS]

  I'm funny [TS]

  therefore i'm probably already a [TS]

  stand-up I just need to get some [TS]

  bookings right [TS]

  not necessarily you but I mean I think [TS]

  that's a classic comedy pattern [TS]

  you have no idea how hard that business [TS]

  and that's exactly the mistake i was [TS]

  making and I'm talking to Paul and I'm [TS]

  like you know i I just I feel like I [TS]

  feel like I need to do the work i need [TS]

  to put in some work in you know crafting [TS]

  my stories so that I am able to really [TS]

  get up and do this do you know to [TS]

  storytelling as a for as a performance [TS]

  forum and Paul said well did you like [TS]

  comedy as a kid and i was like i loved [TS]

  it i mean that was all I did I I'd stay [TS]

  up late and watch the Carson show and I [TS]

  identified with comedians more than [TS]

  musicians and Paul said yeah me too [TS]

  in fact it's all I ever wanted to do and [TS]

  from the time I was 13 I have done [TS]

  nothing else and I was like right well I [TS]

  did a lot of other things a and he was [TS]

  like uh huh [TS]

  tell me more like well yeah I mean I did [TS]

  a lot of things that weren't that he's [TS]

  like exactly and it was you mean he and [TS]

  he wasn't really he wasn't hammering [TS]

  that point home [TS]

  it was aight i think he left himself he [TS]

  left enough air in the room for you to [TS]

  kind of breathe in on your own [TS]

  yeah that was that was my like right [TS]

  exactly right [TS]

  like there were and the thing is I feel [TS]

  this way about my music career to there [TS]

  were guys that from 12 years old all [TS]

  they wanted to do was play guitar and [TS]

  that's all they've done and they are [TS]

  better guitar players and i am by far [TS]

  and it's easy to see the work that [TS]

  they've done [TS]

  yeah but maybe they didn't get in the [TS]

  van that many times they need to get in [TS]

  the van to write but are all by way of [TS]

  saying like I can still fall into that [TS]

  trap of feeling like you know here's a [TS]

  guy who's doing a thing that I admire I [TS]

  also feel like I have a native gift for [TS]

  this and so therefore it's just some [TS]

  indeterminate amount of work that we can [TS]

  talk about later that I need to do [TS]

  between here and there and then I'll be [TS]

  right there and I'll be in the winner's [TS]

  circle and it's like me I type the idea [TS]

  all the time it's something I know is [TS]

  stupid i hate it when other people do it [TS]

  but i find myself when I talk to comic [TS]

  people that's how I'm some new comics [TS]

  I've never wanted intensely to write a [TS]

  comic I've never wanted intensely to get [TS]

  good at writing but now as i get older i [TS]

  appreciate the medium so much more than [TS]

  one talking to one of my comic you know [TS]

  writing heroes I'll say something like [TS]

  you know well you know I've kind of been [TS]

  picking up I got an idea for a superhero [TS]

  ya know it's even worse and i wish i [TS]

  wish i could go like I had this idea you [TS]

  know shaken up bottle of coke man or [TS]

  something i don't even have anything 0 [TS]

  man i hate you so much but you know that [TS]

  is that is the moon and that is the [TS]

  funny part i mean when you meet somebody [TS]

  it almost becomes an unconscious kind of [TS]

  a weird [TS]

  I'll speak for myself it can become a [TS]

  strange combination of trying to impress [TS]

  somebody [TS]

  combined with like trying to show how [TS]

  familiar you are with their work without [TS]

  sounding creepy combining with hoping [TS]

  for some kind of encouragement and [TS]

  indirect basically turning into career [TS]

  counseling in a bar where you're [TS]

  essentially asking them for the tips and [TS]

  tricks on how to become paul f tompkins [TS]

  well you know what [TS]

  good go beyond and go beyond the HBO [TS]

  show that almost got cancelled a budget [TS]

  well and I've heard many comics do this [TS]

  to other people who kind of come up and [TS]

  say like other the worst kind is common [TS]

  to the word that the one of the comics [TS]

  the worst the worst and and I've heard [TS]

  this over and over enough to know that [TS]

  this is like this is comic shorthand and [TS]

  they've been and it's kind of brilliant [TS]

  because all comics have have shared this [TS]

  line with each other where they look at [TS]

  the person may go [TS]

  ok sounds like things are grouped going [TS]

  good for you [TS]

  now you just need to do it for 10 years [TS]

  and then they like you know go cheers [TS]

  with their beer bottle and they turn [TS]

  back and rejoin their conversation and [TS]

  it's a it's a relatively polite but [TS]

  chilly enough way to say we're not [TS]

  having a serious conversation here are [TS]

  we right and and talking to the comics [TS]

  that I know every one of them really [TS]

  does believe like at ten years of doing [TS]

  stand-up every night for 10 years and [TS]

  that's not ten years from the time you [TS]

  first did stand-up and high in high [TS]

  school and the and the present but 10 [TS]

  straight years of doing stand-up you can [TS]

  come up to me and we'll talk about [TS]

  stand-up comedy [TS]

  and in in that case I will probably [TS]

  already know who you are so we want [TS]

  right so it won't have to be like you [TS]

  telling me all the standard having this [TS]

  same conversation that I i find myself [TS]

  stuck in six times a month [TS]

  well I have this upsetting my other fake [TS]

  career as a Productivity self-help [TS]

  retired productivity guru I'm obsessed [TS]

  with that idea of expertise and why it [TS]

  is that the 70 or 80 year old butcher [TS]

  knows this weighs a pound this roast [TS]

  beef but you can't tell you why i'm very [TS]

  interested in that idea and I think the [TS]

  same thing happens I mean you so you [TS]

  people not necessarily you but most of [TS]

  us I think nothing of walking up to Matt [TS]

  Fraction going [TS]

  how'd you get security context like what [TS]

  I have been obsessed since as a child [TS]

  and I work incredibly hard you would [TS]

  never walk up dramatically never got to [TS]

  an oncologist and going man pretty sweet [TS]

  gig [TS]

  yes what's the trick how'd you get into [TS]

  talking followed now I know you're [TS]

  really smart in medical school but like [TS]

  what and he studied like everybody else [TS]

  wanna find you study your biology stuff [TS]

  and I school whatever what's the trick [TS]

  yeah what's the trick I being an [TS]

  oncologist what he wanted to let you [TS]

  know this stuff already like I read a [TS]

  couple of of medical uh thrillers [TS]

  seriously seriously seriously just tell [TS]

  you man like i had like this is just [TS]

  like really seriously my mom have [TS]

  fucking cancer [TS]

  ok it's like I feel like I'm already [TS]

  really close to this and something I [TS]

  just really passionate about so i used [TS]

  to love dr. Quinn Medicine and cheated a [TS]

  lot of amazing matters when you realize [TS]

  you you actually like course it's more [TS]

  than medicine that's that's what you [TS]

  should be studying is course it's well [TS]

  and so curiously for me now here's that [TS]

  if this is and this is partly a problem [TS]

  of being a generalist right because when [TS]

  somebody says to me i've been i love to [TS]

  do this and I've been doing nothing but [TS]

  this since I was 13 years old and I go [TS]

  right and what have I been doing since I [TS]

  was 13 years old i have here we go [TS]

  you know I'll I've been doing a lot of [TS]

  well I did a lot of pot smoking john III [TS]

  know this story I've heard this story [TS]

  i'm glad you did all of those things I'm [TS]

  glad you're who you are you special [TS]

  little motherfucker I'm glad you're here [TS]

  and I'm glad you're fucked up you and [TS]

  that's all I'm gonna say about that but [TS]

  so the other day I met [TS]

  that another party right yeah it's one [TS]

  of these parties like that i find myself [TS]

  going to more and more and also I didn't [TS]

  tell you this but I got I got roped in [TS]

  to a imbroglio the the music and [TS]

  nightlife community in seattle which is [TS]

  in which by which i mean like the local [TS]

  club owners and bar owners a group of [TS]

  them got together and held a press [TS]

  conference where they endorsed the [TS]

  challenger in the mayoral race and my [TS]

  phone rang I was sitting here at my [TS]

  computer making a song for Joseph [TS]

  scrimshaw long story my phone rings and [TS]

  i made the classic error of answering it [TS]

  because I was because I'm remortgaging [TS]

  my house and there was a lot going on [TS]

  that day and the phone rang and it was a [TS]

  number i didn't recognize and I was like [TS]

  oh shit I ok i'll answer and I answered [TS]

  it and it was someone from the mayor's [TS]

  office and they said the club owners the [TS]

  downtown rock club owners are having a [TS]

  press conference right now and they're [TS]

  endorsing the opponent and I was like oh [TS]

  cheese and they said we need you to have [TS]

  a press conference [TS]

  what and I said love me I'm busy [TS]

  I'm super busy today and they were like [TS]

  yeah we need you to have a press [TS]

  conference right now where are you [TS]

  you're shitting me i was like i'm at my [TS]

  house but i'm going to a i'm going [TS]

  downtown in a minute and they were like [TS]

  great tell us where you are and a half [TS]

  an hour and so I was downtown and they [TS]

  called me again and they were like where [TS]

  are you and I said I'm standing in front [TS]

  of those far and they're like stay there [TS]

  and five minutes later a news van drives [TS]

  up and I'm standing there like going [TS]

  what is WTF news van drives up [TS]

  look lady see if hilly yeah right it was [TS]

  the WTF it was Cairo and and a guy jumps [TS]

  out in a certain time a cameraman and [TS]

  they have a [TS]

  big puffy microphone and they get some [TS]

  b-roll of of the reporter and me walking [TS]

  up and down the sidewalk a few times [TS]

  like engaged in conversation and then [TS]

  they interviewed me about like how do [TS]

  you feel about this group of club owners [TS]

  and the music business people endorsing [TS]

  the opponent and I'm like I i feel like [TS]

  the mayor's doing a great job and you [TS]

  know when I gave like I gave a kind of [TS]

  like there's there are no losers in this [TS]

  election both candidates are amazing and [TS]

  i think the mayor is has been great for [TS]

  the local music community and I like him [TS]

  personally I think he's a good they [TS]

  could dude so the club owners are don't [TS]

  speak for all of us and they're like [TS]

  thanks and they jumped in the van and 45 [TS]

  minutes later it was on the evening news [TS]

  so was it how was it how is it frame i [TS]

  mean least in my experience when you [TS]

  interview there waiting for you to say [TS]

  one particular line that they can ya [TS]

  used to underscore some things they made [TS]

  up [TS]

  yeah that's what it was it was like it [TS]

  was like a bunch of a bunch of music [TS]

  industry people endorse the opponent [TS]

  today and they they flip to this panel [TS]

  of 20 people that I know who are all [TS]

  sitting around the the Challenger whose [TS]

  name is Eddie Murray and they're like we [TS]

  just don't think the mayor's doing a [TS]

  good enough job and it kind of the [TS]

  camera pans around and they talk about [TS]

  it for a minute or so and then the then [TS]

  the voiceover says but not everybody in [TS]

  the music community feels like the [TS]

  mayor's doing a bad job and then it cuts [TS]

  to me walking down the sidewalk having a [TS]

  pretend conversation with the reporter [TS]

  we found we found local and full picnic [TS]

  and Roderick standing in front of a ball [TS]

  or yeah they said local homeless person [TS]

  look alike [TS]

  rock musician from the long winters John [TS]

  Roderick says the mayor's doing a fine [TS]

  job and then then I guess when I say I [TS]

  think they're doing a fuck [TS]

  back to you Tom back to you Tom right [TS]

  and and so so the following night i'm at [TS]

  a party and the mayor is there and a lot [TS]

  of his [TS]

  campaign people are there and we're [TS]

  having a lot of that you know the mirror [TS]

  and I have a little 10-minute long like [TS]

  little huddle we're talking about [TS]

  talking about the day and talking about [TS]

  you know his feelings are hurt that the [TS]

  that the music business is endorsing his [TS]

  opponent and I think rightfully so and [TS]

  he's you know he's also like he's [TS]

  campaigning hard right now he's behind [TS]

  in the polls but then his staff starts [TS]

  you know kinda coming around and I have [TS]

  a have a couple of conversations with [TS]

  people where they're patting me on the [TS]

  back like thank you for that thank you [TS]

  for having that press conference and [TS]

  then two separate occasions the person [TS]

  leaned in [TS]

  you know this is like the mayor's chief [TS]

  of staff and then his head his campaign [TS]

  head clean and they go when we can when [TS]

  we going to get you on the City Council [TS]

  God and you gotta get away John you [TS]

  gotta get away that and I was like wow [TS]

  wow wow [TS]

  and all afternoon and all evening and [TS]

  all the next day actually all the day [TS]

  after that your virginal what's going to [TS]

  be painted in gold on your door [TS]

  I walked around conducting my campaign [TS]

  by imaginarium you know like like this [TS]

  just generally like looking at the arc [TS]

  of the of the campaign maybe some you [TS]

  know some brochures with some pictures [TS]

  of me walking through a park with my [TS]

  family at my out-of-wedlock child and [TS]

  you know and then pictured myself kind [TS]

  of going door-to-door in my neighborhood [TS]

  and shots fired say you know [TS]

  hi ru I'm i live in this neighborhood [TS]

  with you and that guy you got your treat [TS]

  and I'm running for office you might [TS]

  have seen me in the in your yard in a [TS]

  bathroom with the sword at some time [TS]

  recently chasing the neighbor's dog but [TS]

  now i'm running for the City Council and [TS]

  i feel like uh together we can rid the [TS]

  neighborhood of [TS]

  stray dogs and loud stereos weekend but [TS]

  we can bet we can improve all of the [TS]

  guard towers that I have been erecting [TS]

  in the forests that's exciting John so [TS]

  but but again but I so again I'm drawn [TS]

  to this question like there are people [TS]

  in public office in city government and [TS]

  in nonprofits who have done nothing else [TS]

  since they were you know these are the [TS]

  people that were like Reese Witherspoon [TS]

  in in election in high school and [TS]

  they've just reached Witherspoon to [TS]

  themselves all the way until they get [TS]

  elected to something and then pretty [TS]

  soon they make it to Washington and then [TS]

  pretty soon they are Condoleezza Rice [TS]

  and again i am i am the consummate [TS]

  generalist and i'm standing in this [TS]

  situation sort of like hey when are we [TS]

  going to get you on the City Council and [TS]

  I'm thinking yes let's get me on the [TS]

  City Council in the hit the same way [TS]

  that when when my frat brothers say you [TS]

  should be a stand-up I'm like yes I [TS]

  should be a stand-up are you kidding but [TS]

  in fact i don't know if i would be good [TS]

  at that at all i don't know anything [TS]

  about that world I imagine there are a [TS]

  lot of PowerPoint demonstrations I [TS]

  imagine there are a lot of meetings [TS]

  where you could potentially despise [TS]

  every single person in the room [TS]

  including you [TS]

  yeah right where I'm sitting behind the [TS]

  desk and I'm listening to somebody [TS]

  you're sitting at your sitting in a [TS]

  microphone is being shot for for local [TS]

  cable TV that's right and somebody's [TS]

  somebody's on there talking about like [TS]

  how the shade of their mailbox should be [TS]

  acceptable right or somebody's yelling [TS]

  at me about the about the who gets the [TS]

  rights to the gooey ducks in the title [TS]

  waters around the you know around their [TS]

  boat dock and that's a that's a [TS]

  Northwest reference that are expected [TS]

  that sounds like what I don't know any [TS]

  that means but I have to guess that [TS]

  would be easily one of the most [TS]

  interesting conversation she would ever [TS]

  have one yeah you're absolutely right [TS]

  you're absolutely right it was it is [TS]

  more [TS]

  it is more a question of somebody [TS]

  yelling at me because the taco bus that [TS]

  I go to does not have a wheelchair [TS]

  access [TS]

  I was just going to say I was going to [TS]

  guess that it could be stuff like like [TS]

  here's a big dust-up about food trucks [TS]

  and where they could be in the [TS]

  restaurant owners associations whatever [TS]

  got together to try [TS]

  that's the kind of thing is and that's [TS]

  that's I don't want to read because I'm [TS]

  much questions particular thread bit [TS]

  could you if you can if you choose to [TS]

  could you briefly say what it is that [TS]

  the bar owners and club owners are [TS]

  theoretically so unhappy with it sounds [TS]

  like a jamup John it's a little bit of a [TS]

  jam important I mean both candidates for [TS]

  Seattle City Mayor are incredibly [TS]

  progressive liberal uh up candidates and [TS]

  like there's there there are no losers [TS]

  here [TS]

  the difference is that one that the head [TS]

  marie i think is a liberal in the kind [TS]

  of classic Northwest mode he knows how [TS]

  to get things done by putting a group of [TS]

  people together in a room and reaching a [TS]

  solution together and he knows how to [TS]

  come out and announce the solution where [TS]

  he gives the credit to everybody that [TS]

  was on the panel and everybody feels [TS]

  good and they go do their part of the [TS]

  solution or they presumably go do their [TS]

  part of the solution [TS]

  feeling validated and the mayor quite [TS]

  honestly is somebody that sometimes [TS]

  struggles to get a group of people to [TS]

  agree where everybody leaves the meeting [TS]

  feeling really good about themselves [TS]

  the mayor is more of these a little bit [TS]

  more imperial and a little bit as a [TS]

  tendency to say here's how it's going to [TS]

  go here's the right course of action [TS]

  either get in line or go fuck yourself [TS]

  and kept in by seattle standards it's a [TS]

  little bit it's a little tough you know [TS]

  it's a little bit tough love and and [TS]

  there have been a couple of pretty [TS]

  there have been a couple of instances [TS]

  where a thing failed because the mayor [TS]

  couldn't get people to he couldn't even [TS]

  drawn of happy faces on it right like [TS]

  the thing was clearly what needed to [TS]

  happen and everybody just needed to shut [TS]

  up and do it but in the end a key person [TS]

  withheld their vote and if you talk to [TS]

  them about it in private they would say [TS]

  ya i withheld my vote you know why [TS]

  because fuck that guy who and it's like [TS]

  oh right oof [TS]

  you cannot you can but the Imperial [TS]

  method does not work in seattle / [TS]

  especially because we have a strong City [TS]

  Council and a week may or ality so the [TS]

  City Council you know you really have to [TS]

  like Greece those guys and gals it's [TS]

  less popular degrees the gals you have [TS]

  to you know you have to like be a [TS]

  coalition builder right and so the about [TS]

  but honestly I feel like the music the [TS]

  music crowd that threw their weight [TS]

  behind the Challenger was more doing it [TS]

  because [TS]

  twenty years ago nobody gave off fuck [TS]

  about the club owners and the music [TS]

  business i would say in fact that the [TS]

  city of seattle was actually so hostile [TS]

  to the rock scene for so many years it [TS]

  was the worst to finally have a mayoral [TS]

  office that comes to rock shows and it [TS]

  knows musicians by name you know the [TS]

  temperature is the temperature the city [TS]

  has changed under the beginning [TS]

  ministration since John Rutter ah can't [TS]

  find the video i guess the video is this [TS]

  here in this but I look at that Scarlett [TS]

  Johansson is the sexiest woman alive [TS]

  uh-huh I what I don't mind so much from [TS]

  Cairo tv.com but I feel like what [TS]

  happened was these music business people [TS]

  finally got a mayor that treated them [TS]

  with respect and they started to feel [TS]

  like as a group together they actually [TS]

  had political power [TS]

  you know like that for the first time [TS]

  people were listening to them but who [TS]

  and the Challenger was courting their [TS]

  affections like they'd be they have [TS]

  become and partly this is that all of [TS]

  the people involved have grown up and [TS]

  they're all now 48 years old and there [TS]

  they own respectable businesses and they [TS]

  have they built a little cub all right [TS]

  so how much is that how much political [TS]

  power is that if they continue to work [TS]

  with this mayor that they kind of that [TS]

  they can came up with versus what if [TS]

  they take their ball and go play with [TS]

  the other guy and as a group I think [TS]

  they can move to the other candidate and [TS]

  have ants and appear to have more power [TS]

  more authority in in them in the [TS]

  movement you know what are the only i'm [TS]

  i'm a dummy what what are they were the [TS]

  nightclubs Seattle not getting from [TS]

  their mayor of these days right [TS]

  precisely Katniss absolutely there will [TS]

  be no difference between the two [TS]

  candidates there is no different than [TS]

  probably got nothing to lose if it's at [TS]

  it's a tight ish race and somebody [TS]

  offers them something you know on the [TS]

  strength you know worst-case scenario [TS]

  that guy loses they still got what they [TS]

  had before but this there they could be [TS]

  you know promise whatever and now or [TS]

  they can just they can feel like okay [TS]

  now you know that [TS]

  their group gets as their group gets [TS]

  tighter and and acts as a at acts as a [TS]

  another conscience in the city [TS]

  government right they become another [TS]

  group of concerned business owners and [TS]

  and typically that could typically [TS]

  rock-and-roll people are pretty [TS]

  progressive in their politics so it's [TS]

  another group of people that have a have [TS]

  a nice combination of their cool right [TS]

  they look cool and they do cool things [TS]

  and they are also very progressive and [TS]

  very thoughtful who [TS]

  so normally when when there's a press [TS]

  conference and it's like some downtown [TS]

  business owners have a problem with the [TS]

  mayor [TS]

  it turns out that they are angry about [TS]

  taxes or they're angry about parking or [TS]

  they're angry about zoning you know [TS]

  they're angry about some some not in my [TS]

  backyard a business owner bullshit right [TS]

  but this group of club owners and rock [TS]

  people is actually kind of making a play [TS]

  to be to be conscientious and say like [TS]

  we're concerned about the the way the [TS]

  city does business we're concerned about [TS]

  the way the mayor treats the you know [TS]

  the kids the way the police department [TS]

  enforces the laws like that it that this [TS]

  group is actually trying to be trying to [TS]

  have a wide-ranging effect it's a it's [TS]

  it's actually astonishing and cool um [TS]

  but i but I feel like it's my mom once [TS]

  told me a story about her life in [TS]

  corporate America and she said I had to [TS]

  I had to confront the fact that over [TS]

  time I realized when I walked into a [TS]

  meeting my feeling was either that i was [TS]

  going to lead the meeting or I was going [TS]

  to be the gadfly and those were the only [TS]

  two roles for me in a in a meeting i was [TS]

  never ever going to just sit and be one [TS]

  of 20 people in a meeting [TS]

  I was either going to try and take the [TS]

  meeting over or if I couldn't then I was [TS]

  going to be the one that that kept [TS]

  bringing up the problems can bring up a [TS]

  problem with the plan and she was like I [TS]

  i I'd recognize that meetings were bad [TS]

  that we're kind of a bad place for me [TS]

  and she was telling me this story I [TS]

  kinda I I recognize that in myself like [TS]

  either i'm going to lead the meeting or [TS]

  I'm gonna be the one with his feet up on [TS]

  the desk chewing bubblegum and saying [TS]

  that's never going to work and it's a [TS]

  kind of its a maybe a personality flaw [TS]

  right to not be if if if you if you do [TS]

  not end up leading the meeting but but [TS]

  cannot just sit and be a part of the [TS]

  meeting [TS]

  that's a that is a that's a tendency to [TS]

  know and we what you would have to have [TS]

  that if you got this city council gig I [TS]

  feel like my role in the City Council go [TS]

  watch TV is John oh my god it's so [TS]

  boring but I feel like it's it's a me [TS]

  it's some of that is the static camera [TS]

  angle you know if they had more dynamic [TS]

  feel like three cameras set up or [TS]

  different set aside a verte like a Roman [TS]

  guile and steady cam better effects and [TS]

  better lighting to the city council [TS]

  meetings are lit so I feel like everyone [TS]

  looks like hepatitis but I feel like I [TS]

  would be I would be elected on a [TS]

  platform of like a on a cool dad [TS]

  platform [TS]

  oh right like rock-and-roll dad platform [TS]

  and so every city council meeting right [TS]

  needs one council member whose ties a [TS]

  little bit askew whose hair is a little [TS]

  bit must please forward everyone silence [TS]

  says are we really talking about this [TS]

  still Scalia yeah i would be I'd be this [TS]

  well yeah at least we are protected the [TS]

  get you would in fact be the gadflies [TS]

  what I'm cid Booker you be the one who [TS]

  I'd be booger from Booker Booker from [TS]

  from revenge of the nerds [TS]

  uh yeah did you not see revenge of the [TS]

  nerds ever seen [TS]

  not now come on we got the old cruise [TS]

  control set on 35 son again added to the [TS]

  list [TS]

  I just I might and I like the cool dad [TS]

  platform because i think you could rock [TS]

  that shit right [TS]

  yes right and then I'm betting Mike city [TS]

  council member atlarge because you never [TS]

  you never wear a suit but you also know [TS]

  you never wear a standard like a Brooks [TS]

  Brothers suit but she also never wear [TS]

  patagonia know right see I'm somewhere [TS]

  I'm like you know my first or dad I've [TS]

  gotta gotta gotta gotta love a Pendleton [TS]

  jacket that was in a free pile and I've [TS]

  got the cost and white tennis shoes [TS]

  yes got some filson Wilson you get paid [TS]

  and pink pants with whale and yeah I've [TS]

  been at I that that was like somebody's [TS]

  club tire my dad's quite productive [TS]

  exchange contracts illustrates that [TS]

  right celebrates his fifth term on the [TS]

  City Council and is that we really doing [TS]

  this right that's it with that you know [TS]

  what that's a freebie that's your slogan [TS]

  John Rother for City Council are we [TS]

  really do we really doing this [TS]

  we're really doing this and so also [TS]

  basically although i would be elected [TS]

  initially to represent one neighborhood [TS]

  as time went on all all cool dads [TS]

  throughout the town would realize that I [TS]

  was their representative [TS]

  well you're gonna have keys to stop and [TS]

  you're going to the phone numbers of [TS]

  people you're going to be able in what [TS]

  the thing is you could get in there and [TS]

  be being a kind of the Trojan horse [TS]

  attrition John you get in there and you [TS]

  would be able to insinuate yourself in [TS]

  small ways to political favors for [TS]

  people maybe mow their lawn but [TS]

  something where like they would owe you [TS]

  that's the unique people do you yeah [TS]

  that's why people are lasers people to [TS]

  favorites as they want people to over [TS]

  them I'd be the master of ceremonies at [TS]

  slovakia days I would be the you know [TS]

  who does that these days [TS]

  probably that's the thing is easily [TS]

  slovak nobody from the City Council is [TS]

  even aware that there are slovak days a [TS]

  Slovak days celebration i went on right [TS]

  now more than ever [TS]

  yeah that's right are we really doing [TS]

  this we really doing [TS]

  that's what I'd be all over you know i'm [TS]

  already all over the city i would just [TS]

  be all over the city as a city [TS]

  councilman kissing babies kissing air [TS]

  kissing babies let me kiss your baby [TS]

  mhm [TS]

  I said video of myself today that I [TS]

  hadn't seen in awhile was on a panel and [TS]

  I look like such an asshole [TS]

  the entire time i make faces the entire [TS]

  time on this panel I didn't I know I [TS]

  don't realize that i'm doing this but I [TS]

  apparently make absolutely no attempt to [TS]

  cover up when I think about what I [TS]

  people like that and I I don't have any [TS]

  filter I just I'm I screw up my face and [TS]

  start scribbling in a notebook and I'm [TS]

  just thinking something like that maybe [TS]

  write down your campaign poster where [TS]

  the are we really doing this face like [TS]

  family very beginning you're loosening [TS]

  your time maybe it's an animated gif 11 [TS]

  one eyebrow raised [TS]

  coming behind way way back in my city [TS]

  councilman's chair [TS]

  are we really doing this like grabbing [TS]

  my microphone off the table and holding [TS]

  it on my belly garbage [TS]

  yeah i mean i really feel like there's a [TS]

  lot you know but and you know and winter [TS]

  I would I would I would switch to an alt [TS]

  we'd sort of costume [TS]

  oh man think about think about all those [TS]

  characters from when we were kids all [TS]

  those those politicians that were so [TS]

  colorful and so well-known you get your [TS]

  tip o'neill she got to turn up [TS]

  that's exactly Bella abs or whatever you [TS]

  can feel like the bell labs ugh of the [TS]

  of the City Council obviously the [TS]

  seattle's bell labs we know that you've [TS]

  got the skills to to get in there and [TS]

  say are we really doing this but it [TS]

  would help if during your first lesson [TS]

  90 days your first hundred days if [TS]

  you're able to institute something that [TS]

  was really massive that nobody even [TS]

  realize the city needed and you got it [TS]

  done regardless of who you had to take [TS]

  out to get there I don't know what that [TS]

  would be [TS]

  but I know what it would be why ziplines [TS]

  seattle is built on hills are we really [TS]

  doing this let me catch off there is a [TS]

  one-word there are hills all over the [TS]

  city and zip lines are there no sir i'm [TS]

  talking about public zip lines as a [TS]

  former public supplies costs almost [TS]

  nothing to install John that's right now [TS]

  I'm now picture a zip line from Capitol [TS]

  Hill to pike place market it would be it [TS]

  would be the most popular form of public [TS]

  transit in an in an hour maybe huge [TS]

  people be taking pictures feeling fine [TS]

  shirts [TS]

  yeah throwing throwing fish at people as [TS]

  they came down so inns in seattle if [TS]

  you're on capitol hill and you want to [TS]

  go to ballard which is on the [TS]

  opposite side of the town and there's a [TS]

  lake in the way and all the roads are [TS]

  are like bottlenecks and cluster fucks [TS]

  you can add until I'm preaching to the [TS]

  choir concert Francisco is like this to [TS]

  you gotta go from point A to point B [TS]

  there is no way to do it there's no [TS]

  straight line [TS]

  it's just like from from Capitol Hill [TS]

  Ballard as the crow flies is not that [TS]

  far but trying to get there is just like [TS]

  it's like one of those games where you [TS]

  can tilt the surface of the maze and the [TS]

  little ball but you're hacking system [TS]

  this is your Kobayashi kobayashi maru [TS]

  you're saying Capitol Hill to pike place [TS]

  in three high-flying minutes let's be [TS]

  gents city again but the strategy and [TS]

  jurists and on areas that are too far [TS]

  zipline obviously requires a certain [TS]

  amount of upper body strength there are [TS]

  people that are going to be able to use [TS]

  the zip line at the zipline can hang [TS]

  them in a basket [TS]

  it is applied well okay there should be [TS]

  baskets and pom-pom lifts but uh but [TS]

  gondolas right why is there no Capitol [TS]

  Hill to ballard gone too long if you can [TS]

  make a gondola that goes all the way up [TS]

  those to Zermatt Switzerland or whatever [TS]

  you you go up the Zugspitze and and up [TS]

  to the septum the Matterhorn or whatever [TS]

  with a gondola why can you not go from [TS]

  from Capitol Hill to the ballot you know [TS]

  who would love this the children of cool [TS]

  rock and roll dad's exactly and cool [TS]

  dads throughout the city and all those [TS]

  differences in Patagonia they would they [TS]

  would love it they would eventually say [TS]

  this tourist and it used to be better [TS]

  but they will be there on day one with [TS]

  the fleece and their lattes [TS]

  yeah if I said if I said all right [TS]

  here's what we're going to do we're [TS]

  going to build two huge towers one on [TS]

  top capitulo and one in fremont and it's [TS]

  going to be a gondola ride all the way [TS]

  across Lake Union the only people that [TS]

  we can play other people that wrote [TS]

  currently run the seaplane operation out [TS]

  of leaking because the garden would [TS]

  interfere with their see planning you [TS]

  like you've never been scared of special [TS]

  interest groups [TS]

  well the thing is I speak seaplane right [TS]

  I can talk to those guys about their [TS]

  beaters and their orders and the you [TS]

  know like i know the entire de Havilland [TS]

  range of aircraft we can we can reach we [TS]

  can reach some kind of agreement will [TS]

  just change the flight traffic but it so [TS]

  anyway ziplines palma lives [TS]

  and gondolas all over the city [TS]

  crisscrossing seattle and all of a [TS]

  sudden your crosstown traffic problems [TS]

  are solved right well and you know what [TS]

  it's amazing talking about this i was on [TS]

  the table [TS]

  sorry about this mr. Roderick I had a [TS]

  couple questions about the zoning ramen [TS]

  are we still talking about this guy [TS]

  amazing question who you know love [TS]

  ziplines everybody we are talking about [TS]

  this one who doesn't love ziplines [TS]

  Communists and i would have to have my [TS]

  little I have my little orange bell [TS]

  right there on my city council desk [TS]

  right and people would be like because [TS]

  you don't but I have questions about [TS]

  anything and integrated they're gonna be [TS]

  universal access to the popular thing we [TS]

  still talking about that we still [TS]

  talking about this is my fucking bail [TS]

  i'm not i just trying to get an opening [TS]

  their idea the the hundred days thing [TS]

  that was reasonable right was it was [TS]

  felt by dr than a hundred days out and [TS]

  apple now that's a different bell now [TS]

  had a hundred first hundred days [TS]

  yeah well mounted uh well i guess it was [TS]

  stolen and five-year plans and mouth had [TS]

  what were they [TS]

  seven-year plans Yeah Yeah right [TS]

  I think a city councilman should happen [TS]

  to have a bit bigger Bell think that's [TS]

  the one you need a name like that though [TS]

  like the Great Leap Forward eating [TS]

  something you need a name like that the [TS]

  great the you-know-what no one's leaving [TS]

  no one's using great leap forward right [TS]

  now it's a great and read about it in [TS]

  connection with with zip lines and the [TS]

  weight loss people would have great leap [TS]

  forward great the Great Leap Forward [TS]

  into a zip line from Broadway you know [TS]

  what you have plenty of ways to talk but [TS]

  we're really talking about this [TS]

  no no are we yes what is it are we [TS]

  really doing this [TS]

  are we still talking about we still [TS]

  gotta let you know we got that we should [TS]

  probably a workshop these a little bit [TS]

  yeah you're right [TS]

  are you still helps let's get to the [TS]

  really awkward part we are you still [TS]

  going to be able to do our program when [TS]

  you're on the City Council I don't see [TS]

  any reason why not you know the the [TS]

  thing is that most of our listeners are [TS]

  in the UK and new zealand do you know [TS]

  that for a fact [TS]

  no no I feel like we have we have a [TS]

  considerable listenership in like Iowa [TS]

  California to get a lot of Germans John [TS]

  lot of Germans that's true [TS]

  that's true and i don't think any of [TS]

  those people are really going to I doubt [TS]

  very much that anybody's gonna send a [TS]

  concerned letter to the seattle city [TS]

  government saying do you realize who's [TS]

  running for the cs City Council the [TS]

  Senate's have you listen to his podcast [TS]

  and the people of Seattle that listen to [TS]

  this podcast are going are going to [TS]

  benefit so much from my counsel ship [TS]

  that absolutely could get any worse most [TS]

  of them are on probation [TS]

  that's right they're not gonna out me [TS]

  out me it's all it's only going to be [TS]

  one of these these angry undergraduates [TS]

  from reading this I don't know on the [TS]

  dgcl have a sister city or similar yeah [TS]

  i think i want to maybe bergen norway [TS]

  you know I think I think regular Vic is [TS]

  one of our sister cities although i [TS]

  doubt that regulate actually exists [TS]

  sister cities for the city Seattle [TS]

  showing a light Morgan a bit beer and [TS]

  pronounced right apologize in advance [TS]

  Beersheva Israel oh that's nice perugia [TS]

  italy hungers are cheung hing china king [TS]

  Seattle has 21 extant sister cities i'm [TS]

  just saying it's become a very [TS]

  international economy is an [TS]

  international flavor we called i 18 n [TS]

  it's a very hot topic right now you [TS]

  might want to reach out and you might [TS]

  even get support from your sisters [TS]

  I'm just saying did you know that my [TS]

  that my neighborhood is the most diverse [TS]

  ZIP code in America that's mind-boggling [TS]

  it it's astonishing considering and [TS]

  that's not in the way you described it [TS]

  to me was it's not in the way it seems [TS]

  it isn't like oh there's an equal mix of [TS]

  black people and white people it's more [TS]

  like no no you've got a sampling you've [TS]

  got the ultimate like existential buffet [TS]

  humanity was right right there are just [TS]

  there are just as many people here from [TS]

  a like Vladivostok as there are from [TS]

  let's say uruguay [TS]

  so if this happens and the mayor gets in [TS]

  stays in I assume November whatever this [TS]

  first tuesday in november and then what [TS]

  there be a city council election [TS]

  probably [TS]

  probably [TS]

  two years two years that's right so i [TS]

  have two years to plan my campaign [TS]

  that's more than enough time John and I [TS]

  feel like I feel like a lot of this is [TS]

  the thing a lot of the cost of running a [TS]

  campaign is the is publicity and name [TS]

  recognition right but i already have [TS]

  name recognition and there's gonna be a [TS]

  lot of free publicity associated with me [TS]

  running for City Council because because [TS]

  everybody will want a black people are [TS]

  going well let's get on some people that [TS]

  people going to come out of the woodwork [TS]

  all those people who can't remember [TS]

  whether you're arguing with them or not [TS]

  somebody that you're 24 finding friends [TS]

  then you're gonna know pretty quick [TS]

  oh yeah everybody is going to [TS]

  everybody's gonna have something to say [TS]

  about it and baste i mean i would have [TS]

  to run on a platform of everything that [TS]

  I like I do not disavow anything that [TS]

  I've ever said i stand behind everything [TS]

  I've ever said because if you run on a [TS]

  platform like that given the sheer [TS]

  amount of crackpot shit that I have said [TS]

  over the years like in print and in [TS]

  public no one no one's gonna be able to [TS]

  say like well it you know like duh the [TS]

  candidate a you know have had a drinking [TS]

  problem or whatever the candidate the [TS]

  candidate is a known womanizer because [TS]

  you could also say like well the [TS]

  candidate has called for a reevaluation [TS]

  of Hitler's legacy again click get it a [TS]

  read the rest of it's not what it sounds [TS]

  like a good candidate the candidate [TS]

  believes that all teenagers should be [TS]

  put on work farms like there's no you [TS]

  could not my record is is is very [TS]

  substantive but it's it's so far out [TS]

  that you're no one's going to but it's [TS]

  it's absolutely and in by not the thing [TS]

  is essentially no I didn't say that you [TS]

  open a door or they're screwed there's [TS]

  so much nonsense you said and it's so [TS]

  contradictory there will be difficult to [TS]

  even have a presentable piece that you [TS]

  put in the paper [TS]

  exactly i mean Mike it's not made-up [TS]

  what I would say is we still talking [TS]

  about this [TS]

  listen I put on arguments like other [TS]

  people put on jackets and I like the [TS]

  look of myself in all these different [TS]

  arguments i think i'm very handsome in [TS]

  them [TS]

  next question galway ireland cotija past [TS]

  see Kobe that's what i meant Kobe that's [TS]

  where the the beef comes from the right [TS]

  leg at Tashkent Uzbekistan [TS]

  yeah tashkent that's a big town in [TS]

  Uzbekistan that's a you know Seattle's [TS]

  not the biggest town in America I think [TS]

  it's the 15 biggest town in America [TS]

  something like that may not be the [TS]

  biggest but it certainly is the zip line [TS]

  exists [TS]

  that's right well now think about that [TS]

  think about think about think about the [TS]

  sister cities of seattle all around the [TS]

  world how those sister city how quickly [TS]

  are those sister cities going to adopt a [TS]

  zip line based public transit system one [TS]

  Seattle page delay a hundred percent you [TS]

  you go to mombasa kenya kenya i think [TS]

  they're gonna want to look at ziplines [TS]

  yeah yeah [TS]

  tashkent six months after I'm elected to [TS]

  the city council tashkent is going to be [TS]

  the zipline capital of booze Pakistan [TS]

  hello this is Haiphong Vietnam we would [TS]

  like ziplines please zip lines and [TS]

  seattle is going to be by that point we [TS]

  will have pioneered like aggressive [TS]

  zipline technologies like how they can [TS]

  make the iphone 5 cheap now you got all [TS]

  the component parts right if you got [TS]

  everything you need if you make smart [TS]

  and you know what you get locally [TS]

  sourced up lines we have an abundance of [TS]

  engineers that are totally got cables [TS]

  you got going right there's gotta be [TS]

  cables land yeah and and Boeing keeps [TS]

  driving them there themselves in their [TS]

  commercial aircraft business into the [TS]

  fucking ground [TS]

  so all of these people that will one day [TS]

  be out of work will be newly employed in [TS]

  my zip line gondolas understand this [TS]

  correctly you're telling me this is a [TS]

  town that was used to literally be known [TS]

  as jet city is bowing the largest [TS]

  aircraft manufacturer in the world was [TS]

  based there they had factories and [TS]

  hangers there you could probably pick [TS]

  some of those up pretty cheap and [TS]

  convert them to zipline that's very [TS]

  pretty cheap right here in job and John [TS]

  jobs big big nothing about all the [TS]

  supplies you can make in a former 747 [TS]

  hanger you could have an entire you can [TS]

  have an entire supply industry they're a [TS]

  lot smaller than a lot [TS]

  is costly to ship more of them on a [TS]

  train [TS]

  I think right now the Swiss or the [TS]

  Germans might have a have like the [TS]

  gondola industry pretty well nailed down [TS]

  right but i don't know if you knew this [TS]

  Spokane Washington headquarters of the [TS]

  Riblet company and riblets are the poles [TS]

  that support ski lifts oh my goodness [TS]

  isn't good for all of the Pacific [TS]

  Northwest the entire state of Washington [TS]

  is going to benefit which is what i'm [TS]

  going to say when i run for Congress I [TS]

  think it should help everyone but [TS]

  Portland and I think that's going to [TS]

  keep you in office [TS]

  I think that you can i scan antagonizing [TS]

  Portland be part of your platform [TS]

  I think if I were elected to the city [TS]

  council that by itself would antagonize [TS]

  Portland because I've colin Meloy would [TS]

  be so mad that it would reverberate [TS]

  through the whole town everybody would [TS]

  just be like why does I feel a [TS]

  disturbance in the force like millions [TS]

  of souls crying out at once and it would [TS]

  just be calm always sitting on his it [TS]

  sitting at his new farm and fuming [TS]

  the guy was elected to the seattle city [TS]

  council playing an accordion undertoads [TS]

  still just so mad but then when I opened [TS]

  when I inaugurate the Portland to [TS]

  Seattle gondola which admittedly would [TS]

  be a pretty long gone to override [TS]

  whether you get movies you'd be you'd be [TS]

  on there you know for six to eight hours [TS]

  but think about the view the whole way I [TS]

  am I the thing is this town doesn't have [TS]

  enough visionaries and I really feel [TS]

  like this is at so anyway having already [TS]

  kind of mastered the City Council and [TS]

  and run the city until it's like like [TS]

  like a finely honed top I'm really now [TS]

  planning my Senate run [TS]

  ha ho because i feel like this is that [TS]

  this is my back door into the United [TS]

  States Senate right I didn't go to Yale [TS]

  like I should have I didn't start doing [TS]

  stand-up comedy when I was 12 I didn't [TS]

  even really graduate from college [TS]

  technically on a technicality [TS]

  and so and I was never a Navy SEAL nor [TS]

  have i been as far as anyone knows up a [TS]

  spook or a member of an intelligence [TS]

  organization how am I going to get into [TS]

  the US Senate and I think the way to do [TS]

  it is through the seattle city council [TS]

  write down a zipline and supplying your [TS]

  way into the Senate that's right i'm [TS]

  gonna be mr. zip line that's how they're [TS]

  gonna that's how they're gonna know me [TS]

  and then I get into the Senate and then [TS]

  then Elon Musk can I are gonna make us a [TS]

  high speed underground super train that [TS]

  runs on angel tears and and where will [TS]

  all be living in paradise [TS]

  we're going to mind the garbage dumps [TS]

  from underground all that is innovation [TS]

  and we'll build what will protect the [TS]

  parks that are up above by means of a [TS]

  kind of a superstructure manufactured by [TS]

  the Riblet company creating jobs [TS]

  creating jobs and also recycling but [TS]

  you're bringing also you're bringing [TS]

  back big ideas [TS]

  this is a city that loves a big idea [TS]

  yeah you know and and obviously it's a [TS]

  country that in the fullness of time [TS]

  we'll have to put up with a lot of big [TS]

  ideas [TS]

  well that's right that's right i mean [TS]

  you should that Elon Musk I think you're [TS]

  giving him a pass these days we should [TS]

  really should find out more about that [TS]

  guy because he might he might be a [TS]

  nemesis I feel I feel like you on musk [TS]

  Elon Musk has because I don't know [TS]

  anything about Elon Musk accept his name [TS]

  is Elon Musk and he makes these cars [TS]

  actually what I know I know about the [TS]

  tube [TS]

  I know all of his cars catch on fire is [TS]

  catching on fire on fire [TS]

  didn't he make the the spaceship that [TS]

  looks like it's made out of bubbles made [TS]

  a bubble spaceship back Michael Michael [TS]

  York but i think he invented invented [TS]

  microsoft and he's got ya its cars blow [TS]

  up and he wants to make a tube and [TS]

  telling it impossible to shoot people [TS]

  through right implausible tube [TS]

  impossible tube well see an implausible [TS]

  tube [TS]

  yeah I really like implausible tube s4 [TS]

  great like the first record he's gonna [TS]

  be approaching you he's gonna see this I [TS]

  don't beat the zipline thing to death I [TS]

  we have a zipline our yard and I love [TS]

  you I got rights easy see it's really [TS]

  it's a boy at feeling [TS]

  here's the problem with zip lines [TS]

  they're all too short because ziplines [TS]

  now are regarded as something to put in [TS]

  a child's play structure but when I was [TS]

  a kid when I was in the Civil Air Patrol [TS]

  and I went to civil air patrol [TS]

  encampment on Eielson Air Force Base [TS]

  they trained us on a zipline that they [TS]

  that was like you hooked a carabiner [TS]

  onto a rope and they pushed you off a [TS]

  clip and you zipline to over a river [TS]

  give me photos of that I think I do [TS]

  think about it for a minute think about [TS]

  a photo of java very young John Roderick [TS]

  in uniform in serve in the service of [TS]

  his country going to zipline that's what [TS]

  that's going to look real good on [TS]

  kiro-tv oh my god that's right that's [TS]

  good well you know what that's gonna be [TS]

  like the cover of my my little brochure [TS]

  that I hand out to people when i go on [TS]

  my door to door campaign here and that's [TS]

  what legacy of service [TS]

  ding dong hi are you interested in zip [TS]

  lines don't say no I don't think you've [TS]

  thought about we really too i feel like [TS]

  i feel like in the old days they put you [TS]

  on a zip line that was an actual risk [TS]

  like a threat to your life and yeah yeah [TS]

  that was a big part of what made me a [TS]

  man alternatives to quote a panel from a [TS]

  comic I like you don't fly a rocket [TS]

  you're right it that's the thing about a [TS]

  zipline you get on that thing and you [TS]

  just your only chance is to a hold on [TS]

  and then be get off at the right time [TS]

  exactly no brakes on a zip line but you [TS]

  can actually science there are no stops [TS]

  on a zipline I was wondering about that [TS]

  for Seattle program I don't screw things [TS]

  up but is there a way that you could [TS]

  maybe have like a way station where you [TS]

  like you go part of the way because the [TS]

  amount of velocity between capitol hill [TS]

  and I place it seems like that kid we [TS]

  should calculate that cuz i could [TS]

  probably get pretty pretty we should ask [TS]

  our friend dr. dragging the engineer to [TS]

  calculate this because i have a feeling [TS]

  you'd be moving pretty quickly by the [TS]

  time you get to the fish [TS]

  yeah you would but yeah I think you [TS]

  could put I think you could put some [TS]

  area [TS]

  where there was more friction in the [TS]

  line so that it kind of slowed its load [TS]

  your your tempo like the other way the [TS]

  the streetcars work here right exactly a [TS]

  little friction but listen seattle is [TS]

  famous for a total boondoggle projects [TS]

  like this have a monorail thing going at [TS]

  one point the monitor we do we have a [TS]

  monorail and in fact I wrote the [TS]

  monorail yesterday as unlikely as that [TS]

  sounds and we got to the Seattle Center [TS]

  the monorail goes from them the westlake [TS]

  center which is the mall downtown to the [TS]

  Seattle Center which is basically the [TS]

  space needle and the EMP and we got off [TS]

  the train and there was a there was a [TS]

  man there with his family and it was a [TS]

  it was a white guy who had married a a [TS]

  woman from taiwan and so it was him her [TS]

  and then her mother and I think maybe [TS]

  her grandmother and their little boy [TS]

  so it's a kind of a big crowd and he was [TS]

  from Australia and we get off the train [TS]

  and he says excuse me [TS]

  he wants to talk to me and I turn [TS]

  because that's what I do when someone [TS]

  hails me and he said we got we got on [TS]

  the train going the wrong way and we [TS]

  wanted to go to the pike place market [TS]

  where do we catch the train to the pike [TS]

  place market and I said funny thing this [TS]

  train only goes to places you got on at [TS]

  stop a and you went to stop be the only [TS]

  thing to do now is get back on and go [TS]

  back to stop a and then walk to the pike [TS]

  place market and he was like huh [TS]

  and the whole family kind of went huh [TS]

  Johnson that that story make you happy [TS]

  if you'd be very unhappy [TS]

  ok and that that man his family that [TS]

  immigrant that hard-working immigrant [TS]

  who came to america only discovered that [TS]

  this only goes to two places and you've [TS]

  been to both he seemed happy was his [TS]

  impression of Seattle higher after [TS]

  learning that there's a two-point [TS]

  monorail now he said to himself he was [TS]

  in his space [TS]

  you people are dealings [TS]

  this is a guy saying John this is [TS]

  exactly the kind of story that you [TS]

  should be telling when you're on the [TS]

  stump and so we decided at some point [TS]

  where we initially decided this 50 years [TS]

  ago that Seattle need a subway even [TS]

  though Seattle doesn't need a subway [TS]

  well Seattle 60 years ago took all of [TS]

  our trolleys and cable cars out for 70 [TS]

  years ago and then immediately started [TS]

  thinking like what we really need is a [TS]

  subway [TS]

  it's like mmm no we don't need a subway [TS]

  and what we need is a efficient and good [TS]

  public transit system based on zip lines [TS]

  and gondolas but you know I I was too [TS]

  young at the time to make that case [TS]

  anyway we're building a subway right now [TS]

  huge that is so expensive a huge booty [TS]

  call it is billions of dollars and it's [TS]

  basically like the BART system in san [TS]

  francisco when it originally opened like [TS]

  the BART system had what three stops it [TS]

  was one tube and it went from point A to [TS]

  point B to Point C this this is going to [TS]

  be that it's going to you can get on in [TS]

  the university district it has one stop [TS]

  on capitol hill and then it goes to [TS]

  downtown and connects to the light rail [TS]

  that goes out to the airport river but [TS]

  between those like the majority of the [TS]

  people in the city live between downtown [TS]

  and and the university district and [TS]

  there is one stop between those two [TS]

  places because one stop that is that is [TS]

  served by a high-speed elevator because [TS]

  at that point the train is going to be [TS]

  so deep underground that you cannot [TS]

  access it except by getting on an [TS]

  elevator with other creeps and [TS]

  plummeting like my mom said when she [TS]

  read this plan in the newspaper she was [TS]

  like I will never get on that fucking [TS]

  thing or you can i'm not even a [TS]

  claustrophobic person and the whole idea [TS]

  of that sounds so inconvenient [TS]

  yeah and claustrophobic that I would [TS]

  just lose my mind even trying to get on [TS]

  ya its 2,000 feet underground and the [TS]

  only way to get there to get on an [TS]

  ethical fader high-speed elevator like [TS]

  okay picture yourself it's 1130 at night [TS]

  and you're waiting for an elevator on [TS]

  the apartment street [TS]

  to take you to the center of the earth [TS]

  you can also learn from what's going on [TS]

  to go one stop and this is the plan and [TS]

  this is their billions being spent on [TS]

  this they are basically grinding up the [TS]

  bones of poor people to pay for this and [TS]

  I'm I'm like so [TS]

  Seattle has a long long history of [TS]

  public transit projects that only go one [TS]

  stop and I feel like the zip line fits [TS]

  right in with that instrument it's like [TS]

  a Northwest mode get on here and it's a [TS]

  it's like an insane ride but at least [TS]

  you can breathe the air and there's no [TS]

  one else on the you know like you don't [TS]

  have to share its gonna come it's gonna [TS]

  cost like two hundred dollars to make [TS]

  you not get it was the two hundred [TS]

  dollars to make is applied it was 15 [TS]

  billion dollars to have a tube that's [TS]

  half a mile under something something [TS]

  you know what I bet it's a paul allen [TS]

  thing that's a supervillain thing John [TS]

  where you would get this city to make a [TS]

  high-speed elevator that goes half a [TS]

  mile underground to a tube [TS]

  yeah so how you pick it up in a couple [TS]

  years for like twenty bucks so here here [TS]

  i am waiting for the elevator 1130 at [TS]

  night [TS]

  here comes here okay shuffles up next to [TS]

  me a guy six-foot-seven who's carrying [TS]

  14 garbage bags full of laundry and he's [TS]

  wearing he's wearing a jacket that has [TS]

  not taken off since 1970 and he and I [TS]

  are going to get on this elevator [TS]

  together and I'm going to feel safe and [TS]

  secure as we plummet because we plummet [TS]

  down into a into like the yeah Paul [TS]

  Allen's secret underground rocket base [TS]

  and we're going to go to the University [TS]

  District one stop which would be a [TS]

  five-minute zipline ride five-minute [TS]

  like totally killer ass-kicking zipline [TS]

  ride people meet those people that go [TS]

  that travel around the world to go too [TS]

  crazy roller coasters [TS]

  yeah they would be the Seattle tourism [TS]

  would would go up by half [TS]

  justjust from those people coming and [TS]

  the thing is once you spent 200 to 600 [TS]

  dollars on the zipline people going to [TS]

  be so excited they're going to realize [TS]

  the possibilities [TS]

  I think you're going to see a grassroots [TS]

  campaign all over the city the entire [TS]

  metropolitan area for [TS]

  local lot like local ziplines just need [TS]

  to that one little debt like that last [TS]

  mile from this to that yeah if there was [TS]

  a plan from my zip line and a pommel [TS]

  lift from my house to the grocery store [TS]

  my neighborhood would be perfect pay 200 [TS]

  bucks for that right Ryan anything about [TS]

  a pommel if tis come on there's hardly [TS]

  anything to it [TS]

  I mean you might have to you might have [TS]

  to rent people rollerblades because I I [TS]

  don't remember whether yeah policy [TS]

  requires that your feet beyond the [TS]

  ground [TS]

  uh-huh so you would basically you would [TS]

  get you you have you read people [TS]

  rollerblades at the bottom of the hill [TS]

  get him on the pommel lift it would pull [TS]

  them up up the hill on rollerblades and [TS]

  then make it zip line back down [TS]

  IC right right like a little like you're [TS]

  going this line to hold on the donald [TS]

  duck hill like to accept the help [TS]

  it's right on the Donald kill ya like [TS]

  it's called I some people would call it [TS]

  a platter lift although those people are [TS]

  our yo-yos [TS]

  so now you have to do is you know get [TS]

  that guy re-elected right well I feel [TS]

  like we probably shouldn't talk to any [TS]

  this just going to endanger his chances [TS]

  you having revealed so much of what the [TS]

  what the quarters of power saying no no [TS]

  I feel like that I feel like the mayor [TS]

  the mayor is a good shot at it [TS]

  I feel like if if the Challenger and [TS]

  marie gets elected that's also fine for [TS]

  seattle and it's good he's a nice man [TS]

  and the thing about and and I like the [TS]

  mayor personally and and I think that he [TS]

  is a good mayor also but the reality is [TS]

  as as as they have as that the different [TS]

  factions have tried to cultivate my [TS]

  endorsement it has what has caused me to [TS]

  realize that I don't need anybody right [TS]

  like I don't need anybody [TS]

  my job consists of me sitting at this [TS]

  desk and a and playing tetris so whoever [TS]

  is it the mayor of Seattle like like it [TS]

  could be Leon Trotsky [TS]

  that I would be fine because i don't i'm [TS]

  not i'm not trying to make a I'm not [TS]

  trying to make like a coalition with [TS]

  anybody right now because i haven't [TS]

  revealed my plan [TS]

  mm but if Murray gets elected mayor I [TS]

  don't think it i don't think it imperils [TS]

  my chances to run for the City Council [TS]

  at all in fact i think a lot of these [TS]

  people who used to be working for the [TS]

  mayor are gonna be looking for a new guy [TS]

  to get behind and if the mirror where it [TS]

  gets gets elected or re-elected then you [TS]

  know I'm I've gotta get like a vontade [TS]

  of the corridors of power who and I can [TS]

  start i can start putting my plan into [TS]

  action [TS]

  I mean and let me just say the ziplines [TS]

  the palm lives are just the beginning [TS]

  but i can only imagine i think but the [TS]

  thing is that would be that would be a [TS]

  hit the kids would love it [TS]

  the rock-and-roll dads would like it [TS]

  every everybody would appreciate what [TS]

  it's doing for the city and it would [TS]

  really soften them up my god it would be [TS]

  so amazing community will call it would [TS]

  cost less than like you know a one-day [TS]

  of light bulbs at City Hall I'm trying [TS]

  I'm trying to figure out how much it [TS]

  cost to actually build a palm lift and I [TS]

  don't think it's that much over [TS]

  um and even if you count the rollerblade [TS]

  rentals [TS]

  yeah it's oh my God look at this look at [TS]

  this look at this public company they [TS]

  have they also make giant wheels and [TS]

  what trying to which michael its Ferris [TS]

  wheels [TS]

  oh are you kidding me they make comments [TS]

  and Ferris wheels and gondolas and he [TS]

  need to start taking some meetings my [TS]

  friend and uh whatwhat's the and the [TS]

  flubber costums summer drinks then make [TS]

  super gardens and represents they make [TS]

  what is the what is the that the the [TS]

  train on an incline track I why am I [TS]

  forgetting this now a European uphill [TS]

  train on Oprah [TS]

  it's got a great name and I'll and it's [TS]

  thats its somebody but many many people [TS]

  who are listening to this podcast are [TS]

  yelling the name at us right now we [TS]

  really doing this and we still talking [TS]

  about this and it is it is very annoying [TS]

  to me when i get to be so old that I [TS]

  cannot remember the name of the [TS]

  funicular ah so mad concealer so this [TS]

  company that makes palma lips and [TS]

  merry-go-rounds and roller coasters and [TS]

  Zippy's links also extracurriculars [TS]

  I think you should get pine all any mode [TS]

  of transit that has a funny name [TS]

  subway subway is not a fun name element [TS]

  is there a funnier name than a funicular [TS]

  people know and Seattle why Seattle [TS]

  doesn't have funiculars all over the [TS]

  place [TS]

  there's a funicular in in in Lisbon [TS]

  there's a there are many all of these [TS]

  are handsome John look at that [TS]

  oh yeah this is very old-world it's [TS]

  there they're all over the place i have [TS]

  written many many funiculars around the [TS]

  world why to seattle not have a fucking [TS]

  funicular it's frankly it's embarrassing [TS]

  we should have dozens of funicular [TS]

  you've got you got Soundgarden's van in [TS]

  a building somewhere [TS]

  yeah right Soundgarden's man and Chris [TS]

  blues shoes spray-painted gold are in a [TS]

  museum and we don't have a funicular not [TS]

  a funicular insight it's it is it's a [TS]

  travesty and when I'm elected to the [TS]

  city council it's all going to change [TS]

  starts at the little train i'm gonna [TS]

  have an open-door policy and i'm going [TS]

  to have an open trench coat policy [TS]

  your bells across the room now now my [TS]