Roderick on the Line

Ep. 86: "The Junius Issue"

 

  million billion trillion trillion [TS]

  William million million million million [TS]

  four hundred billion [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello age on Merlin a feeling I'm well I [TS]

  on the mend [TS]

  I'm well no it's a chris wallace voice [TS]

  oh yeah yeah I think I've never I've [TS]

  never loved that response [TS]

  I'm well is it that's a bellingham thing [TS]

  right [TS]

  yeah it's the it's the old days the bear [TS]

  trap of of getting if you say I'm good [TS]

  how are you I'm good [TS]

  oh I'm well that's just a little bit of [TS]

  like a you're doing well you're doing [TS]

  good [TS]

  it's a little bit of a like a backhanded [TS]

  slap it's just a light like like kid [TS]

  gloves slap you doing leaving no [TS]

  footprints [TS]

  haha you I'm well we talked to a week [TS]

  ago and you were in the throes of [TS]

  illness [TS]

  yep you know i'm i'm slow to recover i'm [TS]

  slow to heal [TS]

  he sounds so much better oh I feel I'm [TS]

  so I'm a hundred percent better except [TS]

  that i'm slow to heal so there's the [TS]

  there's probably another week of like [TS]

  just every once in awhile be like [TS]

  laughing at something and a big ball of [TS]

  flame will come flying out let you [TS]

  laughs great [TS]

  yeah that's right back back in the cave [TS]

  another nine months without laughing [TS]

  the thing about having a child of course [TS]

  is that you laughs more because children [TS]

  are ridiculous yeah so I'm laughing all [TS]

  the time now [TS]

  laughing child laughing are constantly [TS]

  know she's a she's a total clown [TS]

  yeah but you know we laugh together at [TS]

  what a clown her mother is this you know [TS]

  that can imagine they they pay you back [TS]

  in kind though they do you know I'm [TS]

  surrounded by women I always them and [TS]

  now i'm especially surrounded by women [TS]

  there there are no I mean Colonel [TS]

  surviving men in my family my mom my [TS]

  uncle jack is eighty seven maybe eight [TS]

  lives in Alaska my uncle Junius [TS]

  lives here in Seattle but i don't see it [TS]

  very often a great name [TS]

  junius yeah Junior's rochester oh come [TS]

  on really [TS]

  junius rochester his father Alfred [TS]

  rochester and his mother Marguerite [TS]

  rochester names used to be so much [TS]

  better [TS]

  junius and genius was named after my [TS]

  great uncle Julius who was named f2 his [TS]

  great-uncle genius sounds Roman geniuses [TS]

  brother george alfred Caldwell rochester [TS]

  founded the seattle public library but [TS]

  his great-uncle genius was one of the he [TS]

  was the dead i have intelligence started [TS]

  my great-great-uncle genius who was [TS]

  responsible for the founding of the [TS]

  Washington State Bar Association because [TS]

  the lawyers in seattle agreed that they [TS]

  needed some kind of association that [TS]

  could censure my bike rack great-uncle [TS]

  they were like they were like we need to [TS]

  Center this man and we don't even have [TS]

  an organization powerful enough to do it [TS]

  so they founded a bar association just [TS]

  to give him just to dis Tek dis bar him [TS]

  from their bar easy like you'd have to [TS]

  do a lot of stuff pretty bad over and [TS]

  over fresh its complex to create an [TS]

  organization to smite you would fit a [TS]

  lot of work but what is the feather in [TS]

  his cap the thing that they really were [TS]

  were really open arms about was that he [TS]

  basically instigated that the [TS]

  anti-chinese riots on the waterfront [TS]

  here in Seattle and forced the and you [TS]

  know he and a mob an angry literally a [TS]

  torch carrying mob like march to the the [TS]

  Chinese residents of Chinatown down to [TS]

  the docks and said you're either getting [TS]

  on that boat to san francisco or you're [TS]

  going in the water [TS]

  well what what what area is what years [TS]

  1890 you're kidding that's an amazing [TS]

  yeah and then some of the most of the [TS]

  Chinese got on the boat and went down to [TS]

  San Francisco [TS]

  would their descendants are still [TS]

  probably living peacefully there [TS]

  yeah that was at a time when the Chinese [TS]

  were the big scare and my [TS]

  great-great-uncle immigrant from [TS]

  Kentucky and that if not veteran of the [TS]

  Civil War than his brother fought in the [TS]

  Civil War and came up here and and [TS]

  decided to to you know bring a little [TS]

  touch of southern xenophobia to the [TS]

  northwest headline just keeps moving [TS]

  north that's good form of of these [TS]

  chinese people cannot live here anymore [TS]

  these chinese people who helped us build [TS]

  the railroad you know who basically [TS]

  built the railroad and improved the West [TS]

  in innumerable ways now have to go do [TS]

  you uh do you know what happened it says [TS]

  did this is a so they formed the Bar [TS]

  Association what's that [TS]

  so they think they picked the name yeah [TS]

  I had they had they had their the salad [TS]

  course that's right that's right now our [TS]

  business [TS]

  junius rochester gentlemen let's go [TS]

  ahead and move on to the cutiest she's [TS]

  not so moved [TS]

  well you know this was the northwest and [TS]

  it was a small them small town and I [TS]

  think they censored him and then he went [TS]

  on to be a he went on to pretty sure [TS]

  have a some sort of dubious hand in the [TS]

  founding of Columbia City a southern [TS]

  suburb of of Seattle AP you know he [TS]

  became a real estate speculator and [TS]

  founded columbia city and then I don't [TS]

  know he's probably hit by a streetcar or [TS]

  somebody Chinese tweak some other [TS]

  inglorious Northwest way of you know he [TS]

  was eaten by a salmon [TS]

  he didn't he didn't survive to he did [TS]

  not survive to the era where I have a [TS]

  tremendous volume of information about [TS]

  him and this partly this is that my [TS]

  uncle genius and uncle genius is really [TS]

  a second cousin once removed but he is [TS]

  let me see if I can describe this Junius [TS]

  was 10 when my dad was 21 and so juniors [TS]

  is not quite my dad's generation but he [TS]

  certainly is he is 80 now and that was [TS]

  his grandfather do you know Junius his [TS]

  geniuses grandfather and my grandfather [TS]

  were the same man [TS]

  okay george alfred no no I'm sorry wait [TS]

  a minute juniors his grandfather and my [TS]

  great-grandfather were the same man [TS]

  george alfred Caldwell rochester and so [TS]

  it was genius is great on all or great [TS]

  great on pole i think and maybe my god i [TS]

  can't keep it all straight but did that [TS]

  thing about geniuses that he is a [TS]

  historian and has and is a generation [TS]

  older than me so he stood between me and [TS]

  all the good stuff right so Mike my [TS]

  grandfather's no way my [TS]

  great-grandfather's desk sits in junior [TS]

  sizes living room and every time I come [TS]

  over [TS]

  jenya says John did you notice your [TS]

  great-grandfather's desk there and I [TS]

  have to grind my teeth he should he [TS]

  should put little post-its there for my [TS]

  beloved john morgan Roderick so you [TS]

  think when the estate sale or the estate [TS]

  is settled you know ya get a leg up what [TS]

  we do the desk you think the thing is no [TS]

  one else in the entire family could tell [TS]

  you when the 20th century was right like [TS]

  geniuses kids my brother is very active [TS]

  on social media [TS]

  she is she is but if you said 20 century [TS]

  go she'll be like uh-huh all dr. you [TS]

  know it might have my older brothers and [TS]

  sisters none of them care right i mean [TS]

  the the desk would end up in the ocean [TS]

  except there is except there is that one [TS]

  little thread running through my family [TS]

  as through all families which is the [TS]

  thread of women [TS]

  on once it oh well i don't know i think [TS]

  that your graduation furniture grudges [TS]

  are pretty common or you know what i [TS]

  mean when there's a piece of old [TS]

  something going around that becomes like [TS]

  it's it's the way like when angry people [TS]

  get divorced [TS]

  you know they make the kid yeah yeah the [TS]

  battlefield I think things like things [TS]

  that used to belong to dead people get [TS]

  your soon-to-be dead people become very [TS]

  hot items [TS]

  well and this is the thing i have [TS]

  reconciled myself to this the desk the [TS]

  end tables the the baby spoons the you [TS]

  know whatever the fuck he the center [TS]

  from the Washington State Bar [TS]

  Association like whoever wants that [TS]

  stuff if it's that important to them [TS]

  they can have it but I know that my [TS]

  uncle genius has boxes of papers all the [TS]

  letters all he knows where all the [TS]

  bodies are buried and geniuses that is [TS]

  that generation prior to me where it is [TS]

  he is still embarrassed by the crimes of [TS]

  our family of the generations of our [TS]

  family prior right [TS]

  junius would never ever ever publicly [TS]

  admit that that the Rochester's were [TS]

  behind the anti-chinese rides nor [TS]

  norwood jr known normal Junius cop to [TS]

  any of the other you know their their [TS]

  myriad crimes against humanity that the [TS]

  you know and so he genius is very proud [TS]

  to hold up a photostat of the of the [TS]

  official pardon that President Grant [TS]

  granted his great-great-grandfather ab [TS]

  Alfred but see I don't even know his [TS]

  name [TS]

  this is the problem anything like that [TS]

  archive John I know and the thing is [TS]

  there's an oil painting of this man in [TS]

  his Confederate you know Colonel's [TS]

  outfit or Brigadier you know dress blues [TS]

  there's an oil painting of the man and I [TS]

  don't know anything about him and when [TS]

  that when i asked genius [TS]

  it's like [TS]

  he knows i want to know Andy his desire [TS]

  to tell me is trumped only by his desire [TS]

  to have me want to know and not know [TS]

  that's all he has left its really it's [TS]

  very probably guys we got the price of [TS]

  the price is right and soup and [TS]

  withholding from you it's very deep [TS]

  it's very deep located at one point my [TS]

  my aunt Julie Julie that's 222 names but [TS]

  one name right that they used to do that [TS]

  in names [TS]

  yeah Julie decided that she needed to [TS]

  that she wanted to be a member of the [TS]

  Daughters of the American Revolution and [TS]

  she she traced our family and she this [TS]

  is you know of course before the [TS]

  internet what we had to send letters to [TS]

  like the postmasters and say would you [TS]

  dear dear postmaster of of you know of a [TS]

  wide-leg Ohio will you send your [TS]

  daughter out to the cemeteries and make [TS]

  rubbings of all the stones that you know [TS]

  like you to research your family before [TS]

  the Mormons on the internet was very [TS]

  difficult but she figured out that my [TS]

  great-great-great-great [TS]

  great-great-great grandfather was john [TS]

  page colonial governor of virginia and [TS]

  childhood friend of Thomas Jefferson and [TS]

  so decisions like a lock [TS]

  oh it's dead-on and everybody everybody [TS]

  was granted [TS]

  yeah yeah she's a daughter the [TS]

  pre-revolution oh yeah i mean if i [TS]

  wanted to fill out the paperwork i would [TS]

  be a son of the american revolution by [TS]

  already feel like a son of the American [TS]

  Revolution as we all do at the only free [TS]

  conservative that group [TS]

  mmm definitely the sons of the [TS]

  Confederacy which I also more than [TS]

  qualified for our have taken a turn for [TS]

  the worse recently also know the DAR but [TS]

  I don't know anything about the sack in [TS]

  the dark but not the sack the sack has [TS]

  become an organization that is that is [TS]

  towing the the stars and bars are are [TS]

  part of our heritage line of reasoning [TS]

  and so we need to keep the need to keep [TS]

  the Confederate flag in the in the South [TS]

  Carolina state flag or will have war we [TS]

  will have lost our our whole entire that [TS]

  we've lost the war [TS]

  yeah we've lost our identity as as as [TS]

  people who held other humans and bonded [TS]

  but i think the DAR is conservative in [TS]

  the sense that they want to keep blacks [TS]

  and chinese and gays and Jews and Irish [TS]

  out [TS]

  that's right in your wheel upset but I [TS]

  can make in you know that's not what we [TS]

  used to call that conservative now it's [TS]

  really cheap conservatism has really [TS]

  changed a lot it seems pretty [TS]

  conservative now by modern standards but [TS]

  um so open any in any case so actually [TS]

  named her eldest daughter Paige not PA [TS]

  ige but page2 H as in like at way to add [TS]

  is a really cool name for a girl [TS]

  yeah to echo through ten generations [TS]

  back to John page our colonial for [TS]

  father and it's that kind of old-school [TS]

  like let's not talk about the eight [TS]

  generations of slaveholders and Indian [TS]

  killers in between [TS]

  let's talk about John RR thomas [TS]

  jefferson's buddy our our Scion John [TS]

  page and it's like my own [TS]

  yeah I'd really rather talk you know my [TS]

  mom's now who was it one of the one of [TS]

  one of my mom's intelligence road with [TS]

  Custer [TS]

  so I got it I got it all everything [TS]

  anybody in the states that were [TS]

  oppressed was at one time or another [TS]

  impressed by me personally I Oh [TS]

  reparation direction and think about I [TS]

  don't know how you are with this stuff [TS]

  but i finally got the patterns over the [TS]

  five almost six years my daughter's been [TS]

  around if i were to be really honest [TS]

  with myself stuff that I remember but [TS]

  especially the stuff i capture I capture [TS]

  and inhale these successes like oh my [TS]

  gosh look she's walking around she's [TS]

  pushing a wagon she's doing this and I I [TS]

  I laughs along at the times that things [TS]

  were silly and and one of us was a clown [TS]

  but the times that people were merely [TS]

  disappointing don't i don't know if you [TS]

  could say is true history but it just [TS]

  seems like the times are the times that [TS]

  we are flatly evil which we tend to kind [TS]

  of a gloss over but you know but the [TS]

  stuff we put in the scrapbook and the [TS]

  stuff that goes into Junius geniuses [TS]

  boxes [TS]

  well you know it but there's probably a [TS]

  lot of stuff in there where there's just [TS]

  like this is just one of the half of [TS]

  this is disappointment stuff and that's [TS]

  really enough for me to say im just [TS]

  gonna keep it sealed [TS]

  yeah well everyone's kinda how I like a [TS]

  family history works i think it is and [TS]

  and maybe I am different in that I [TS]

  celebrate the broken you know I [TS]

  celebrate the aseptic walt whitman [TS]

  celebrate [TS]

  I celebrate the unknown hair of graves I [TS]

  celebrate the UH the I mean really [TS]

  there's no family that you don't have [TS]

  that you can look behind three or more [TS]

  curtains and not find some terrible news [TS]

  because human beings are are awful [TS]

  you know just consistently awful and so [TS]

  I and I really do feel like that kind of [TS]

  revisionism does a disservice over [TS]

  generations and over time you know we [TS]

  only use a really skewed idea that will [TS]

  wear the first messed up generation [TS]

  yeah and it happen it's been happening [TS]

  for centuries and centuries and [TS]

  centuries because nobody because nobody [TS]

  reports [TS]

  well your uncle al was a rapist and it [TS]

  because it you know because it reflects [TS]

  on you you feel like it reflects on you [TS]

  and I think that's what's going on with [TS]

  genius-like [TS]

  he does not want to and partly it is [TS]

  that that I think now that we're the [TS]

  first generation where social standing [TS]

  is not determined as much or at all by [TS]

  family and blood right [TS]

  we live in a world where social standing [TS]

  is entirely determined by buying money [TS]

  new money and buy your you know and by [TS]

  like your 15 minutes of fame [TS]

  Cracraft fame but my uncle juniors and [TS]

  my father and and and even me I mean I [TS]

  was raised still in the last vestiges of [TS]

  feeling like your family name was where [TS]

  your what was the the locus of your [TS]

  honor and that's almost completely gone [TS]

  it in America or in the West maybe back [TS]

  east people still ask like so what's [TS]

  your father do where your father go to [TS]

  school [TS]

  well I think it's it feels like it's [TS]

  something where people at the middle [TS]

  levels of of status are certainly not [TS]

  scrambling to look at right but whereas [TS]

  in the fifties or sixties even you might [TS]

  really be scrambling to show how you are [TS]

  descended from a virginia governor sure [TS]

  and I think people today if you go to [TS]

  your favorite Yale I think you probably [TS]

  still gonna do what I mean the upper [TS]

  classes a picture of people with money [TS]

  people who have that lineage sure if [TS]

  you've got the family tree and all that [TS]

  Providence and you can show it when I [TS]

  wanted but there's so many and even the [TS]

  last I don't be productive in the last [TS]

  40 years the number of blended families [TS]

  the number of people like just think [TS]

  about christmas day is like for so many [TS]

  people who have like five and a half [TS]

  parents know it's like Hanukkah [TS]

  but I mean yeah if your last name is [TS]

  bush and you are the 42nd president the [TS]

  united states 43rd whatever you don't [TS]

  have to be a member of the daughters of [TS]

  the american revolution because the [TS]

  Encyclopedia Britannica has your family [TS]

  line it or if you're jonathan coulton or [TS]

  somebody like that who clearly came over [TS]

  on the Mayflower the whole idea of the [TS]

  daughters of the american revolution is [TS]

  for people who live out in San Francisco [TS]

  to scramble over one another's you know [TS]

  carcasses on the way to some cocktail [TS]

  party up on Nob Hill I I guess I almost [TS]

  wonder if a little bit tom wolfe here [TS]

  but I mean I I'm almost thinking like I [TS]

  wonder if it's some point maybe around [TS]

  the sixties and definitely seventies it [TS]

  started to be a little bit of a burden [TS]

  to be part of not a burden but if you [TS]

  know what I mean it used to be that you [TS]

  could say like what if you're a [TS]

  Rockefeller or whatever but like the [TS]

  thing is if you followed that sort of [TS]

  lineal name-dropping like two things are [TS]

  going to happen first of all it's gonna [TS]

  be obvious what a loser you are that [TS]

  you're you know Bing Crosby the third or [TS]

  whatever which is like oh you're not as [TS]

  famous as the other one [TS]

  ok so what do you do you work at the DMV [TS]

  but you know there's the other one which [TS]

  is like nobody-nobody in America there's [TS]

  a great phrase you know you get a phrase [TS]

  born with a silver spoon in his mouth [TS]

  but i think i first heard this about a [TS]

  george w bush maybe earlier that he he [TS]

  was born on third and thinks he hit a [TS]

  triple right and I i'll use the second [TS]

  half of that phrase sometimes you know [TS]

  for people who think somebody else got [TS]

  something easy i think people don't want [TS]

  that i think especially in a post 1960s [TS]

  America anyway people don't want to look [TS]

  like they got where they were because of [TS]

  their last name they wanted to be merit [TS]

  or they wanted to be values or brand in [TS]

  somebody's mighty that word again but [TS]

  you know I think today people really [TS]

  want to feel like they made their own [TS]

  way or look at somebody like there's a [TS]

  wonderful comic that you would love [TS]

  called Lucky written by a guy named Joe [TS]

  Hill who achieve his a claim with [TS]

  locking key by greatly covering up the [TS]

  fact that he was stephen king's son huh [TS]

  because he knew if you go out there and [TS]

  something happened what's your name that [TS]

  ass and lady like you know if you go out [TS]

  there and let everybody know that you're [TS]

  whatever ravi shankar's daughter [TS]

  that's gonna happen it's going to cost [TS]

  strong reactions to people that [TS]

  regardless of which way they look at it [TS]

  are not going to be that beneficial for [TS]

  you in the long run I guess that makes [TS]

  sense [TS]

  yeah absolutely can you kind of like a [TS]

  tool to walk around going like well you [TS]

  know well of course you should give me [TS]

  my big mac at a discount I'm descended [TS]

  from you know Chinese haters or whatever [TS]

  but there's something else has has [TS]

  changed him and I think you're right [TS]

  that part of it is that is the is the [TS]

  candy flake Tom Wolfe overturning of the [TS]

  not just overturning but like the the [TS]

  change where we felt like those families [TS]

  were actually not just not just that the [TS]

  the later descendants are a weaker [TS]

  strain of the blood but that though that [TS]

  that their control of the resources and [TS]

  the culture has as imperiled us or that [TS]

  they you know it's the rise of the [TS]

  conspiracy that those families are [TS]

  actually dangerous and not not to [TS]

  nothing to aspire to but something to [TS]

  eradicate but also I think as late as [TS]

  the seventies you know the richest [TS]

  people on Wall Street a a pretty rich [TS]

  investment banker made five times what a [TS]

  normal lawyer would make like that index [TS]

  of what the CEO makes a multiple of the [TS]

  lowest pay personal hell yea right so so [TS]

  you know like a really high powered [TS]

  Seattle lawyer would make fifty thousand [TS]

  dollars a year in 1965 and maybe like a [TS]

  the head of a wall street bank would [TS]

  make 250 thousand dollars a year and [TS]

  that was just like you know back when [TS]

  when being a millionaire was was still [TS]

  really something and and now we live in [TS]

  this world where there are 27 year olds [TS]

  that are making seven hundred thousand [TS]

  dollars a year as investment bankers [TS]

  and there isn't the premium put on not [TS]

  just old money but but that the the [TS]

  bulwark that old money old families used [TS]

  to represent you know they were the they [TS]

  were the our cultural heritage or they [TS]

  kept you know that the membership in the [TS]

  yacht club was the highest thing you [TS]

  could aspire to and now it's like you're [TS]

  you know you're Connecticut yacht club [TS]

  your your dusty old Connecticut yacht [TS]

  club like these these these guys have [TS]

  got private jets and they're living in [TS]

  Moscow or whatever so there's just no [TS]

  who cares right i mean i'm probably [TS]

  there are 25 year-olds listening to this [TS]

  program right now that are just like not [TS]

  even getting the idea that [TS]

  social standing was once largely a [TS]

  component of who your parents were and [TS]

  not at all and you know it was not that [TS]

  you went to Harvard and that's why [TS]

  people respected you and you got a good [TS]

  job [TS]

  it was that your father was so-and-so [TS]

  and that's why you went to Harvard and [TS]

  people respected you and kinda job you [TS]

  know [TS]

  now we now we have eliminated the the [TS]

  first step we still have the we still [TS]

  think that going to Harvard is like a [TS]

  big deal but that seems like the [TS]

  beginning I don't know it's a partly [TS]

  because that is not the same virtual [TS]

  guarantee of I mean obviously you're a [TS]

  pretty good start but it's certainly not [TS]

  the same I've told this story half a [TS]

  dozen times my friend grants dad had [TS]

  told you this when he graduated from [TS]

  college in 1964-65 he the story goes [TS]

  that I think you for similar stories he [TS]

  walked into a Ford dealership and drove [TS]

  off the lot with a Mustang because he [TS]

  had a diploma [TS]

  that's a mean I efforts you know there [TS]

  are many similar stories to that and [TS]

  then the corollary to that which are [TS]

  they if you don't have this then we're [TS]

  gonna look a little harder to all these [TS]

  different things but you know I think I [TS]

  guess that still opens a lot of doors [TS]

  but um jammer look to say meritocracy i [TS]

  think also just been a real upset if I [TS]

  can use that his word is the mineral [TS]

  upset in in the whole way we think about [TS]

  status and and even even in the time [TS]

  before social media but especially [TS]

  especially since things like social [TS]

  media or you look at stuff like you know [TS]

  when I go to my hot dog place and and [TS]

  it's everyday it's a it's like Maury [TS]

  Povich is on at the hot dog place yeah [TS]

  my daughter just she's completely [TS]

  hypnotized by it and it will still [TS]

  throwing chairs at each other on chosen [TS]

  yes and pretty much every episode [TS]

  episode is about paternity and it's [TS]

  about whether or not this is this is [TS]

  someone's baby right daddy or whatever [TS]

  and then there's this chair throwing and [TS]

  it's mostly it's a lot of very very [TS]

  heavy ethnic minorities clowning around [TS]

  for what probably 700 bucks but you get [TS]

  to be on TV gets beetles are dulce [TS]

  juggalos I don't know you hear things [TS]

  about these like databases where you can [TS]

  like register I've heard this for 20 [TS]

  years that you can register [TS]

  these databases to appear on things like [TS]

  those shows and you go in and talk about [TS]

  what your special liabilities are or [TS]

  what your what your beef is and then the [TS]

  producers going kind of shop those but [TS]

  that all has been so upturn you know to [TS]

  wear today I think about now Leonard [TS]

  Bernstein's might look at the Black [TS]

  Panthers to go back to Tom Wolfe right [TS]

  in the sixties whereas today I mean you [TS]

  were talking about how you like you you [TS]

  know you people who are making tax and [TS]

  techno mix you know we want you might [TS]

  really admire somebody who makes this [TS]

  application that you like a lot even [TS]

  though you don't need not know how much [TS]

  they make me a care but they're used to [TS]

  for lack of a better word their [TS]

  influence is very interesting that the [TS]

  fact that there is somebody who's 25 [TS]

  have a friend is 25 and he's on his [TS]

  second companies getting buyout offers [TS]

  on his second company at 25 and he's not [TS]

  a douche he's just extremely good [TS]

  manager and he's really smart and he's [TS]

  good with people and I not right like [TS]

  something like that i'm very attracted [TS]

  to somebody like that the property [TS]

  eventually he has pretty good money now [TS]

  and I'm sure he'll have more later but [TS]

  it doesn't matter what his last name is [TS]

  right now it could be a made-up name it [TS]

  doesn't matter like where he went to [TS]

  college where there is that the merit of [TS]

  that is very appealing to people and I [TS]

  think that's I think that's pretty [TS]

  different whereas in like maybe the [TS]

  forties or fifties you might look at [TS]

  something like that gone well this this [TS]

  this could be you know like you know one [TS]

  little rose among the dandelions you got [TS]

  an eye on this guy in the forties and [TS]

  fifties the the primary difference is [TS]

  that that guy at 25 years old might have [TS]

  been on his second company but he would [TS]

  not have been a multi-millionaire [TS]

  because there just wasn't that kind of [TS]

  capitalization right of things right so [TS]

  he would have he would be a wealthy man [TS]

  but he would still be sort of living in [TS]

  an apartment in New York City and the [TS]

  real achievement you know that maybe he [TS]

  would be maybe they were right about him [TS]

  in the wall street journal but the real [TS]

  achievement would be that he would be [TS]

  invited to join [TS]

  a certain men's club and that the people [TS]

  standing at the gates of that would you [TS]

  know would either that who his father [TS]

  was or in the case that he was you know [TS]

  and i think it was incredible success [TS]

  they would bend their own rules in order [TS]

  to you know like well I know that you're [TS]

  you know because because he had [TS]

  something that there's something about [TS]

  his status he brought something to that [TS]

  place those places don't let you know [TS]

  we've talked about this with money [TS]

  before they can even give you money [TS]

  because they like you they give you [TS]

  money because they think they can make [TS]

  more money than they're giving you and [TS]

  instances like that if it's about status [TS]

  and clasp it isn't that they're trying [TS]

  to reward you for having arrived they [TS]

  only want you there if you make them [TS]

  look better right now but at the time [TS]

  there just wasn't the money that there [TS]

  is now and i mean this is this is that [TS]

  it's it's so profound because in a way [TS]

  this this super moneyed class and the [TS]

  super money of San Francisco and and [TS]

  downtown New York and such a certain [TS]

  extent Seattle like it is a it's it [TS]

  there quantities of money that transcend [TS]

  every other metric for the every other [TS]

  metric that human beings used to [TS]

  separate one another like if you walk [TS]

  into that class of ultra-rich there [TS]

  it does not matter if you did nothing [TS]

  about you matters except that right [TS]

  you could if you become super rich and [TS]

  decide to change your gender & it and [TS]

  somebody reveals that your your mother [TS]

  was Jewish and your father was pakistani [TS]

  and his father killed gandhi [TS]

  at all would be forgiven there would be [TS]

  no that we would not look at you in the [TS]

  slightest way differently because our [TS]

  only way of looking at you is that you [TS]

  are worth 1 billion dollars like that's [TS]

  a it's a new it is a new that the the to [TS]

  be that rich that is to be so rich that [TS]

  transcends race which is which has been [TS]

  the primary like human problem right for [TS]

  our whole history to be so rich that [TS]

  people don't even see your race anymore [TS]

  is a it's a new it's a new step and [TS]

  there's no Club in America I don't think [TS]

  that would keep a billionaire out [TS]

  because he was a Jew and that is that [TS]

  was not true even 20 years ago there you [TS]

  know anti-semitism was more powerful [TS]

  than money up to just like 10 years ago [TS]

  really but i don't think that exists [TS]

  anymore I mean maybe somewhere in Europe [TS]

  maybe somewhere in Switzerland down a [TS]

  mineshaft there is a group of guys [TS]

  sitting around the table where they [TS]

  still won't let soros be a member of the [TS]

  of the group and I but but i doubt it [TS]

  you know it's a crazy it's a it's a [TS]

  crazy thing I've been playing a game [TS]

  with my friends lately which is the what [TS]

  if you what if you and I know you don't [TS]

  probably play the lottery and I don't [TS]

  either but if you did let's say you [TS]

  walked into a 7-eleven and you're like I [TS]

  give me a pack of sweet tarts and and to [TS]

  sexually with two hot dogs with pump [TS]

  chili and you know what give me a mega [TS]

  millions ticket and you just bought it [TS]

  on a whim and let's say two days later [TS]

  you it was revealed that you had 180 [TS]

  million dollars and so you assume that [TS]

  70 million of that goes immediately to [TS]

  taxes so now you have a hundred and ten [TS]

  million dollars [TS]

  what do you do and this game is this [TS]

  game really makes people squirm [TS]

  because their initial answers like well [TS]

  you know I think I probably travel and I [TS]

  quit my job and you know I think I'd [TS]

  trying and trying to keep my head on my [TS]

  shoulders it's like no fuck you don't [TS]

  you know we're not living in a land of [TS]

  like problem now what exactly would you [TS]

  do first [TS]

  like what would you do first are you [TS]

  going to go home tonight and sleep in [TS]

  your own bed tonight hundred and ten [TS]

  million dollars you have now [TS]

  like what's the first thing you do and [TS]

  what's the second thing you do and do [TS]

  you have a lawyer who's your lawyer now [TS]

  I I thats it's a great game because it's [TS]

  so much more complicated anybody thinks [TS]

  first thing is I would be scared [TS]

  shitless [TS]

  yes and I would feel exposed oh yeah [TS]

  there's a big part of the lottery is [TS]

  telling you who won what that just makes [TS]

  you a big target so where do you go you [TS]

  go to a hotel right first night you [TS]

  don't go home [TS]

  yeah I I mean like just this this is not [TS]

  the answer you want but like it's the [TS]

  it's aligned with the answer I guess is [TS]

  that i would first start by the king [TS]

  oh my god I hope it's not hope it's at [TS]

  least a month before completely screw [TS]

  this up right now that I've gotten [TS]

  chunks of money before and done stupid [TS]

  stuff and it's you know I don't know I [TS]

  mean I see the i'm with you that people [TS]

  want to sit around a well I take care of [TS]

  all the college education stuff and I [TS]

  you know I took a year off to go dig [TS]

  ditches and Ghana or whatever and I [TS]

  don't think that's helped i mean i'm not [TS]

  happy if you gamble much but i mean i [TS]

  can make five hundred dollars a night [TS]

  playing blackjack on the computer and [TS]

  then in the casino i'm down 200 bucks an [TS]

  hour and the difference is even if it's [TS]

  a dollar even if it's a nickel if it's [TS]

  real money it's different and anybody [TS]

  who thinks that's otherwise is either [TS]

  lying or has never had a little bit of [TS]

  money right [TS]

  it changes everything and it's there [TS]

  studying God turns out there's reams and [TS]

  reams of research about how people will [TS]

  put this tight weird amount of value [TS]

  into a tiny little thing just because [TS]

  it's a game that they want to win or [TS]

  just because there's all kinds of crazy [TS]

  wiring in our heads especially as [TS]

  Americans that like I think we are all [TS]

  really hard wire to make a lot [TS]

  shade decisions about having that kind [TS]

  of money yes yes well that's like that's [TS]

  exactly right like what do we value and [TS]

  I look I look around you look around the [TS]

  room you're sitting in right now and say [TS]

  alright you have a hundred and ten [TS]

  million dollars boom it just arrived [TS]

  it's in your bank account [TS]

  what do you keep of the stuff that's in [TS]

  your room right now anything right [TS]

  I mean what do you what do you if you if [TS]

  you move to a nice place one of your [TS]

  stuff do you bring what do you put what [TS]

  do you have people put in boxes for you [TS]

  and bring to your new house like your [TS]

  college textbooks i think i think a [TS]

  hundred million is interesting but I [TS]

  think potentially two million is even [TS]

  more interesting because a hundred [TS]

  million like that's of course you know [TS]

  people people think oh no I'm going to [TS]

  be very wise now you're going to go buy [TS]

  a bunch of stupid stuff like you know [TS]

  what i mean the the thing is something [TS]

  like 30 million is much more scary [TS]

  because it would I mean you could blow [TS]

  that on one house [TS]

  yeah very easily you know I've said this [TS]

  before on some other shows but like I [TS]

  think part of it is like people who look [TS]

  at other people in terms of status or [TS]

  wealth and hmm they're gonna build a [TS]

  it's like you know if you had that [TS]

  hundred-million-dollar date just go go [TS]

  look in history look in the last 150 [TS]

  years these dumbass state lotteries and [TS]

  go look at how many people today are [TS]

  really happy after they won over a [TS]

  hundred thousand dollars in the lottery [TS]

  and the numbers are not good because [TS]

  those people spent their entire not this [TS]

  is reductive but by and large those are [TS]

  people they play the lottery right to [TS]

  play the lottery most of those people [TS]

  had zero practice having money and it [TS]

  was thinking you can run a marathon it's [TS]

  like thinking that you can go out and [TS]

  play a rock show even though you never [TS]

  picked up a guitar any of that stuff [TS]

  it's exactly the same thing except now [TS]

  everybody knows you got a bunch of money [TS]

  the two the two million dollar amount is [TS]

  see that's a different game for me [TS]

  because i know and you know we know [TS]

  people who one day did have two million [TS]

  dollars like that is not an abstract [TS]

  amount of money anymore if if if we have [TS]

  been playing this game 15 years ago [TS]

  right 22 million dollars would have been [TS]

  like whoa [TS]

  what would i do that i like somebody I [TS]

  met a foundation board meeting at my [TS]

  college in 1990 right like one person [TS]

  like a little lady or something that [TS]

  like I was clutching her pearls around [TS]

  her neck but several friends that that [TS]

  sure more money than that and it's [TS]

  seared so do I you mean and not just [TS]

  people in rock and roll but like people [TS]

  or people just been the in the world [TS]

  that made a fuckin camera app you know [TS]

  but particularly the particularly like [TS]

  it's a fucking god damn camera app for a [TS]

  stupid ass goddamn phone and now they're [TS]

  sitting around with a solid gold thumb [TS]

  up their ass weighs 150 million [TS]

  different [TS]

  well the two million is different [TS]

  because i have thought about the [TS]

  two-million-dollar thing at that is an [TS]

  amount that it is not only plausible [TS]

  that some of our friends have you know [TS]

  had sort of like the check arrived but [TS]

  Merlin it is completely plausible that [TS]

  you will make 2 million dollars at one [TS]

  juncture or that i will like that is an [TS]

  amount of money that is it is possible [TS]

  we will see so it's different from a [TS]

  hundred million because i already have [TS]

  seen what two million dollars does to [TS]

  somebody [TS]

  yeah and I life really fucking [TS]

  complicated get your life gets more [TS]

  complicated but I've seen people do it [TS]

  well you know I've seen people I've seen [TS]

  people go through four million dollars [TS]

  and come out the other side with papas [TS]

  accept a divorce but I've also seen [TS]

  people you know have two to four million [TS]

  dollars and do it and make it you know [TS]

  come out the other side like with a [TS]

  higher definitely like they have more [TS]

  problems understand like an example like [TS]

  that you got to think more about just [TS]

  dumb stuff you can give me an example [TS]

  some time ago like theoretically there's [TS]

  somebody who your pals with and they're [TS]

  doing pretty ok and you take turns [TS]

  picking up the tab right right right [TS]

  then something happens [TS]

  somebody's ritual as things happen and [TS]

  now let's say hypothetically one of [TS]

  those people has 24 his or her own [TS]

  sanity become a lot more circumspect [TS]

  about picking up the tab [TS]

  yes because people going to start to [TS]

  expect that or the right of the envious [TS]

  or whatever right now and then you get [TS]

  the infrastructure and then you get it [TS]

  now you've gotta like get a birthday [TS]

  gift for the lawn guy and if you don't [TS]

  think that's real dude that is so rich [TS]

  the hammer problem it is back the hammer [TS]

  problem well it's yeah it's that it's [TS]

  now all of a sudden you're given valet [TS]

  parking guys 20 bucks I i want to repeal [TS]

  remind me to come back to this i was at [TS]

  the hotel this weekend did you see [TS]

  hammer know what I was at the tonga room [TS]

  yeah I was up on the roof what yeah yeah [TS]

  someone our talented up on the roof [TS]

  where I Spit on the San Francisco cable [TS]

  car and then the cablecard tweeted at me [TS]

  help my daughter over that presence is [TS]

  me and thought of you I thought finally [TS]

  have you did you like the view it's a [TS]

  beautiful view of you and she was she [TS]

  wasn't showing scared it's kind of weird [TS]

  and like she's wired right but so that [TS]

  the hundred million is in that the [TS]

  problem is like there's something that [TS]

  is probably bullshit you know anybody [TS]

  with a hundred million dollars [TS]

  yes and I know at least five people i [TS]

  think probably somebody is what is so [TS]

  great hundred is the hundred meant to be [TS]

  a in the trick of this trick question is [TS]

  that meant to be like you're not saying [TS]

  50 billion dollars can write saying [TS]

  $50,000 you're saying it's an amount [TS]

  that seems large enough to seem like on [TS]

  the face of it like you could maybe [TS]

  never spend it if you were never spend [TS]

  it all if you weren't you know a gambler [TS]

  something I feel like a hundred million [TS]

  is this amount where you easily could [TS]

  live on it and your descendants could [TS]

  live on it but you could also squander [TS]

  it [TS]

  oh it's like that is it is a it you [TS]

  could either establish need that your [TS]

  family name for generations with a [TS]

  hundred million dollars i mean i don't [TS]

  know my father was pretty good friends [TS]

  with George warehouse her and I don't [TS]

  think the warehouses or worth a hundred [TS]

  million dollars in 1970 I mean maybe if [TS]

  you if you took all the land that they [TS]

  owned by me a hundred million dollars in [TS]

  1970 it was an inconceivable amount of [TS]

  money that was like that was inflation [TS]

  freaks me and it blows my mind all the [TS]

  time and they're just like I'm going to [TS]

  say this and I'm going to call one of my [TS]

  one of my periodic please don't respond [TS]

  the way you want to respond [TS]

  what it might cost if certain things [TS]

  happen in governance these days [TS]

  mmm mmm where this happened in 1995 and [TS]

  it costs a billion dollars and the [TS]

  speculation is that was this time it [TS]

  might be 2 billion dollars i was [TS]

  thinking about when I was a kid and the [TS]

  the most comfortable people the [TS]

  wealthiest people that we were very very [TS]

  good friends with owned a head for [TS]

  generations on a coal mine in Kentucky [TS]

  and they were the first people i know [TS]

  and i know this because my phone was in [TS]

  real estate in this woman sold real [TS]

  estate as well the first people i knew [TS]

  they had a house the cost a hundred [TS]

  thousand dollars [TS]

  yeah it was this is 1977-78 it was 100% [TS]

  custom every kid doing kid had a room [TS]

  with astro turf and a golf like going [TS]

  can't afford another guy had a bed on a [TS]

  raised a as another girl had probably [TS]

  I'd say probably 500 square foot bedroom [TS]

  was awesome they had their wet bars was [TS]

  so something like six bedrooms and had a [TS]

  telephone booth and operating telephone [TS]

  booth in there in there like record TV [TS]

  area [TS]

  oh it was on was it was a British [TS]

  telephone booth like a red it's really [TS]

  cincinnati bell i'm guessing but it was [TS]

  no bit complete irish bar actually at [TS]

  the country of Ireland was then it was [TS]

  on beautiful land and they had dogs and [TS]

  200,000 but you were great people but it [TS]

  stays like that honestly John I'm sorry [TS]

  it does not seem like that long ago that [TS]

  was a hundred you remember do you [TS]

  remember the first time you heard the [TS]

  term a billion dollars [TS]

  yeah that's why that's when that joke [TS]

  started about you know billion with Abby [TS]

  because you're like no no i'm talking [TS]

  about a thousand times more than that [TS]

  yeah right reduced when Carl second [TS]

  would say billions and billions of stars [TS]

  the word billion was unfamiliar to us [TS]

  and his his coinage of billions and [TS]

  billions was like that the word billion [TS]

  about the signs in the parlance i do it [TS]

  was a science word like it was like like [TS]

  the word Google could the google glass [TS]

  like these weren't words in the in the [TS]

  in the common parlance because like when [TS]

  the Hunt Brothers cornered the silver [TS]

  market in 1980 and basically had bought [TS]

  up all the liquid silver all the all the [TS]

  silver that was being traded at an [TS]

  attempt to corner the world market on [TS]

  silver how much money we were talking [TS]

  about 50 million dollars me which seemed [TS]

  like an inconceivable amount of money at [TS]

  the time right and they drove silver up [TS]

  to fifty dollars now that way I i may be [TS]

  wrong about this 15 million dollars but [TS]

  like a billion dollars was the type of [TS]

  thing was only a term that got talked [TS]

  about in government budgets and land [TS]

  world population world population and [TS]

  maybe switch the number of stars in the [TS]

  galaxy [TS]

  yeah you're right million million is [TS]

  like now million barely registers not [TS]

  because I've got that kind of money but [TS]

  now when I hear million thrown out there [TS]

  because there are so many numbers we [TS]

  hear every day it doesn't even really [TS]

  register like us to it's like there are [TS]

  million notes in every one of my guitar [TS]

  solos we bought a house my mom bought a [TS]

  house when I was when I was 10 and was a [TS]

  very modest house but it was a [TS]

  three-bedroom house on with the front [TS]

  yard backyard climbing trees you know if [TS]

  it had some renovation but needed work [TS]

  but in 1976 my mom bought a [TS]

  three-bedroom want to have bath house [TS]

  for twenty-eight thousand dollars isn't [TS]

  that and then like even check this out [TS]

  now even in 1999 have a really good [TS]

  friend who he his wife and bought a [TS]

  house and then moved out here for to [TS]

  work at the place where I work [TS]

  he had a court is gonna kill you John he [TS]

  had a corner lot in Tallahassee on a [TS]

  beautiful Street in Tallahassee mature [TS]

  trees all around corner lot three [TS]

  bedrooms sixty thousand dollars [TS]

  yeah in the late nineties yeah doesn't [TS]

  that seem and then and then it was funny [TS]

  as then when my friend moved here and we [TS]

  worked the realestate.com together he [TS]

  would spend a lot of his decks just [TS]

  going through all the real estate [TS]

  listings to find the most unbelievable [TS]

  thing that he could find all right [TS]

  here's a really good one now [TS]

  a lower noe valley fire damage haha down [TS]

  450,000 anytime you see one of my deal [TS]

  and it's ABC fire-damaged it's something [TS]

  that God 650 yeah yeah and I all of this [TS]

  that like the the way that money has [TS]

  become unreal has detached my [TS]

  imagination from the real to like I do [TS]

  spend an inordinate amount of time [TS]

  looking up a dirt roads as I'm driving [TS]

  on you know two-lane blacktop in western [TS]

  washington looking up dirt roads into [TS]

  the trees just to see if maybe there's a [TS]

  drug deal gone wrong up there and [TS]

  there's a there's a van full of money [TS]

  this is the devil back scenario [TS]

  double-bag scenario like it is a it is [TS]

  becoming a sickness because money seems [TS]

  so comically unreal that it just seems [TS]

  like oh well sure there are duffel bags [TS]

  of money being driven down the road all [TS]

  around me did you see this thing in the [TS]

  newspaper the other day a think the [TS]

  government in Heidelberg Germany went to [TS]

  the newspapers and said will the person [TS]

  who left the 10 pounds of gold bars and [TS]

  duffel bag full of cash in a blocker at [TS]

  the bus station please come forward [TS]

  because the because we were emptying out [TS]

  the lockers that had expired and we [TS]

  found this like these pounds of gold and [TS]

  suitcase full of money and there appears [TS]

  to be no it doesn't seem like it's [TS]

  connected to a crime and we'd would just [TS]

  like to return it to its owner like are [TS]

  you kidding me [TS]

  and that's that sounds like a jam but [TS]

  that sounds like like chief Wiggum [TS]

  telling you to come get your boat you [TS]

  know if you think so you think so i [TS]

  think it's a little bit like that's my [TS]

  body haha that's the jackal comma Carlos [TS]

  please come collect your boat jackal [TS]

  haha [TS]

  try to look at the details on this right [TS]

  here because here's the here's the other [TS]

  side of this we talk about the unreality [TS]

  is a I think I don't know so my father [TS]

  was born just a few months before the [TS]

  crash oh no they didnt did her work this [TS]

  morning [TS]

  don't run out of buildings follow was [TS]

  born better gonna get the right number [TS]

  on this um but I think you know unless [TS]

  you're like me and a PBS buff ya ladies [TS]

  uh I think Ally i'm guessing a lot of [TS]

  people of our age and younger are not [TS]

  they know they know the Depression was [TS]

  bad the Great Depression they know it [TS]

  was bad they may see pictures of [TS]

  children selling apples but I'm not [TS]

  gonna put well you know what I almost [TS]

  went bad direction [TS]

  yeah let's just say this stuff happened [TS]

  in the twenties and thirties that nobody [TS]

  thought would ever happen [TS]

  the first thing that never happened [TS]

  where people who had a lot of money [TS]

  suddenly didn't have it [TS]

  yeah the crash and people like Groucho [TS]

  Marx and I'm i just remember hearing the [TS]

  crowd show [TS]

  well all I mean like seriously I think [TS]

  he's in less than a week he lost pretty [TS]

  much all because there was this part of [TS]

  the problem again part of the let me get [TS]

  my a great historical perspective in [TS]

  here part of the very problem with what [TS]

  led to the crash so many of the problems [TS]

  with one of them was that people were so [TS]

  heavily stuffing money into the stock [TS]

  market because it was such an obvious [TS]

  thing you're you get dummy right not to [TS]

  put all of your money into these stocks [TS]

  well just like in 1998 1999 precisely [TS]

  precisely even though even though [TS]

  delivering bags of pet food by US mail [TS]

  doesn't in retrospect seem like such a [TS]

  great idea [TS]

  hey i've got i've still got my kokomo a [TS]

  can message osman over them getting a [TS]

  job stainless i don't i don't actually [TS]

  have a coke mode but as a great bags [TS]

  I know it's a status symbol among a [TS]

  certain kind of aging i get my Christmas [TS]

  shopping recognize my Christmas shopping [TS]

  christmas shopping they just bring it to [TS]

  your house but but I anyway I just [TS]

  interesting to think about something [TS]

  like Groucho he and his brothers and he [TS]

  was you know [TS]

  I'm trying to think check out was big [TS]

  gambler [TS]

  it was always out of money everybody [TS]

  says Harper was great guy [TS]

  elska which ones fo nobody knows anyway [TS]

  Groucho's made a lot of dough and he's [TS]

  pretty good with money and I think he [TS]

  had perhaps at least hundreds of [TS]

  thousands maybe millions of dollars [TS]

  let's just say that by 1930 standards he [TS]

  done pretty well yeah and then in [TS]

  something like i'll say a month but I'm [TS]

  gonna get really more like three or four [TS]

  days it was just gone deef it was gone [TS]

  and guess what you owe money because now [TS]

  there's calls [TS]

  Yeah right there stuff where you had [TS]

  shorted to her you know what I mean like [TS]

  where you you had a cup and the term you [TS]

  know where you can shoot the market [TS]

  short-sheet the market and now they want [TS]

  to know where the legs that's right and [TS]

  so you end it go from being like set for [TS]

  the rest of your life to this looks bad [TS]

  to you it's all my god to now i owe [TS]

  money [TS]

  yeah like that's it's just that that [TS]

  when people sit around and got a hundred [TS]

  nine dollars i go to flip zap zap I go [TS]

  do all this obviously safe stuff i mean [TS]

  it's i would be tempted to put in a bus [TS]

  Locker in Germany [TS]

  yeah well then this is the this is the [TS]

  one I keep coming back to which is that [TS]

  money is fake [TS]

  you know money is is fake and I was [TS]

  thinking about it the other day I was [TS]

  sitting in a hotel in portland and i [TS]

  realized that something had happened I [TS]

  don't remember when this happened but I [TS]

  had crossed a threshold where I no [TS]

  longer looked at the prices of items on [TS]

  menus like I have crossed a threshold [TS]

  where the most expensive item on the [TS]

  menu is no longer a daunting amount like [TS]

  Oh is the steak forty dollars is it [TS]

  fifty dollars like I'm I'm already [TS]

  committed to eating in this restaurant [TS]

  and I'm going to order the thing that I [TS]

  want [TS]

  and I'm not gonna order the chicken [TS]

  because it's $18 i'm just going to order [TS]

  the steak and I'm not gonna whatever the [TS]

  price of the thing is no longer matters [TS]

  and that is a that is a threshold of [TS]

  prosperity that I went over at a certain [TS]

  point and most of us spend our lives the [TS]

  menu comes and sometimes you sit down in [TS]

  the wrong restaurant on the menu comes [TS]

  in you Blanche because you're like oh [TS]

  shit I didn't realize blast [TS]

  yeah right and i have blanched my whole [TS]

  life like the menu comes and I look at [TS]

  it like oh fuck I did not know that this [TS]

  was going to be a fifty-dollar steak [TS]

  let's skip wines get the hell out of [TS]

  here you know and you stand up and put [TS]

  the menu down and like tiptoe back out [TS]

  of the restaurant but at a certain point [TS]

  I whatever however I measure my [TS]

  prosperity it I I now realize that if [TS]

  i'm going to walk into a restaurant and [TS]

  sit down I'm going to order whatever the [TS]

  fuck I want and I'm not I don't look at [TS]

  the price and when the when the ticket [TS]

  comes i look at the amount on it only to [TS]

  calculate a generous tip and this is [TS]

  evident this is firsthand evidence of [TS]

  prosperity like i did not ever I didn't [TS]

  know that this was a measuring line [TS]

  again we even realize the you went from [TS]

  having an unconscious budget to not [TS]

  thinking about it [TS]

  yeah i did not aspire to one day I want [TS]

  to live in a world where I can order off [TS]

  the menu and not look at the price but [TS]

  one day I did that did happen [TS]

  um and so as I was sitting in this hotel [TS]

  lobby eating my mushrooms in garlic wine [TS]

  sauce that had been brought to me by by [TS]

  a delightful and capable server i was [TS]

  saying what is the next what is the next [TS]

  threshold for me is it that I by our be [TS]

  able to buy a car without thinking about [TS]

  how much it costs like there are people [TS]

  who say i want that car I want the [TS]

  porsche cayman because i am a tasteless [TS]

  person who wants an SUV that looks like [TS]

  a Porsche 911 like I want a [TS]

  thing I got that sounds awful I don't [TS]

  want have you not seen the porsche [TS]

  cayman I'm gonna get going [TS]

  the Porsche Cayman is a they were like [TS]

  we got to get in we have to get in on [TS]

  this SUV markets but we only make von [TS]

  Kahr which is the 911 wouldn't so even [TS]

  make it into an SUV and it's like no [TS]

  that is a terrible terrible terrible [TS]

  looking car it looks like it looks like [TS]

  a man i'm seeing looks like a regular [TS]

  sports car away now what it's not the [TS]

  came and what is that what is the what [TS]

  is the 911 was the 911 SUV it's got a [TS]

  name to find a porsche SUV porsche [TS]

  cayenne little Cayenne right not came [TS]

  and died and none of these are words why [TS]

  are they calling why are they using why [TS]

  are they using Central American words so [TS]

  this is the worst of every world [TS]

  yeah it looks like they took they took a [TS]

  corvette stingray and they crossed it [TS]

  with a with a dodge minivan and then [TS]

  they put a 911 front bumper on it anyway [TS]

  there are people that go down to the [TS]

  authority 9600 dollars for the standard [TS]

  model for the base model and get that [TS]

  the top track speed of 42 miles per hour [TS]

  yeah well there you gotta capitalize you [TS]

  can pick up diapers really fast like I [TS]

  was walking down the street the other [TS]

  day and a guy drives by in a Maserati [TS]

  and I was like right a Maserati like [TS]

  they still make Maseratis and it's a [TS]

  certain small small percentage of people [TS]

  still buy Maseratis and looking at this [TS]

  guy's he drove by and and and it was not [TS]

  sir mix-a-lot it was just a regular guy [TS]

  but looking as amazing as you drove by [TS]

  i'm guessing that he was not a Joe Walsh [TS]

  fan and not buying a Maserati like just [TS]

  because that was like a [TS]

  don't-don't-don't i love that he was a [TS]

  huge fan of funk number 49 and this is [TS]

  like the next to the next jam so people [TS]

  still buy Maseratis but they have to be [TS]

  people that are either likes betting the [TS]

  farm [TS]

  or there really are people that just as [TS]

  I no longer look at menu prices they are [TS]

  not concerned about how much cars cost [TS]

  like I'm gonna get this car and it is [TS]

  two hundred thousand dollars and I'm [TS]

  just going to go get it and that is a [TS]

  that I so I do I aspire to have that be [TS]

  my next one that's that's ridiculous [TS]

  closet minority report on that so first [TS]

  of all with many things now do the other [TS]

  thing you can do in the menu and I've [TS]

  done this in hotels is to like figure [TS]

  out like what it is that I want based on [TS]

  how much it costs because I probably [TS]

  want the most is when one example where [TS]

  I will probably just get the most [TS]

  expensive steak which is faster for me [TS]

  to find the most expensive to find the [TS]

  most expensive steak in order to be [TS]

  absolutely blown away not a way I [TS]

  conduct myself with any other kind of [TS]

  thing in the world right now as we've [TS]

  learned from where you you like yourself [TS]

  a top-shelf Nicaraguan who what are the [TS]

  Cuban nothing with their work i see are [TS]

  on I won't go into it [TS]

  yeah i've cut back on you can cut you [TS]

  can cut this all out now I want but no [TS]

  Mike my tasting those things is you know [TS]

  what you're willing to spend twenty [TS]

  dollars on the cigar for what di dunno [TS]

  but you know that's unusual so here's [TS]

  what I'm going to say about this as [TS]

  we've learned from watching the great [TS]

  tumblr rich kids on this Instagram and [TS]

  there are people who are there to let [TS]

  you know it like exactly how much it [TS]

  cost so i might not what I'm saying this [TS]

  might be obvious is I think some people [TS]

  are gonna look at the price i think if [TS]

  they've got the dough they might go in [TS]

  and make sure they didn't get the third [TS]

  most of all I see are getting there [TS]

  looking at the price but they're looking [TS]

  at it just captures get their heads with [TS]

  their cars sit around and talk about the [TS]

  dickhead cars [TS]

  yeah and they like they're going to line [TS]

  up the black BMW and talk about life i [TS]

  know there's always gonna think oh you [TS]

  didn't get the the sports rimjob rimjob [TS]

  share all of you rim job [TS]

  that looks that looks so great for a [TS]

  standard sports room yeah i went ahead [TS]

  and got the variant rimjob yeah very [TS]

  rude job [TS]

  yeah it's only six of them well okay [TS]

  you're absolutely right that among among [TS]

  nouveau reach and Bend probably among [TS]

  all reach there is there is a price [TS]

  consciousness [TS]

  okay yeah the wrong reasons but but for [TS]

  me like my goal is to it would be nice [TS]

  to be the and I think this is the [TS]

  aspiration to live more or less as I do [TS]

  now but to be able to have the luxury to [TS]

  be unconscious of money like i do not [TS]

  want a Maserati and conscious or [TS]

  unworried unconscious I did you know you [TS]

  don't have to think about it in the [TS]

  daily sort of like I need to go to New [TS]

  York tomorrow i'm going to buy a plane [TS]

  ticket and to not sit and have to go [TS]

  well let's see there's an aisle seat [TS]

  next to the exit row and maybe I can you [TS]

  know maybe i can get like the upgrade [TS]

  like to just say i'm flying to New York [TS]

  tomorrow and i'm buying a ticket and I'm [TS]

  flying [TS]

  yes and and you know to live to live [TS]

  with the sort of a base amount of [TS]

  comfort and be and be like have the [TS]

  luxury of not pinching ever go um and [TS]

  you know and honestly like I think the [TS]

  dream i think i think that is in anybody [TS]

  i think could agree it would be nice to [TS]

  not have to check prices on things [TS]

  yeah you know I mean of setting aside [TS]

  that somebody tries to slip into seven [TS]

  thousand dollars steak but in an [TS]

  ordinary day-to-day stuff it would be [TS]

  kind of nice [TS]

  do you know pick up the tab without [TS]

  having to look at it [TS]

  yeah i think i was never do but this is [TS]

  the problem is you get when you get the [TS]

  money [TS]

  what you do is you say eat what you do [TS]

  is you don't say I can go to the [TS]

  supermarket now and buy whatever I want [TS]

  to not have to worry you say I don't [TS]

  have to go to the supermarket anymore [TS]

  i'm going to send somebody for me [TS]

  and then you are now you're paying [TS]

  you're paying a different level you're [TS]

  paying you're not just paying for the [TS]

  groceries you're paying for someone he [TS]

  and you're opening the door to where I [TS]

  was hoping to walk which is you know [TS]

  was hoping to walk which is you know [TS]

  and to paraphrase are our late friend [TS]

  Leslie Hart fault i hate buying presents [TS]

  for my presence right when i get a phone [TS]

  the last thing we have to do is go buy a [TS]

  bunch of stuff for the phone right and [TS]

  this is this is the entourage problem [TS]

  because it is i miss the poor kid point [TS]

  of view from me but I think it's such a [TS]

  fairly small number of steps from give [TS]

  me the second cheapest everything right [TS]

  to give me the third most expensive [TS]

  everything [TS]

  well yeah but I think the thing is i [TS]

  mean i always feel like I've had a [TS]

  fairly low threshold for celebration in [TS]

  my life like I can make anything into a [TS]

  special event if I feel like it i love [TS]

  Jeff why should get this nicer one [TS]

  because today I murder or whatever but [TS]

  like in the case of what you're [TS]

  describing I think it makes a lot of [TS]

  sense [TS]

  here's the thing in my experience in [TS]

  this way a struggle so much with the [TS]

  travel stuff with you know work stuff [TS]

  because a flight flight across the [TS]

  United States cost seven hundred dollars [TS]

  round trip [TS]

  yeah now if i want to i mean i find out [TS]

  until the last minute on the radio check [TS]

  out i might be able to get an extra [TS]

  nanometer no knee room for sixty dollars [TS]

  each way or eighty dollars each way if [TS]

  you're a gold member [TS]

  no big deal right there i'll pay that [TS]

  but now let's be honest that's like [TS]

  another sixteen percent on top of what I [TS]

  just spent not a huge deal i don't know [TS]

  the last time you about business class [TS]

  if business classes available that's [TS]

  going to be a two-thousand-dollar flight [TS]

  if its first class that might be a three [TS]

  or four thousand dollars and so now [TS]

  you're back to know what can I afford ok [TS]

  let's just do business class but [TS]

  remember your fancy now so you got an [TS]

  assistant so your assistant gonna sit in [TS]

  coach will know you want them taking [TS]

  education and shine your nails and shit [TS]

  like that you know what about the car [TS]

  will now you gotta have it you know [TS]

  collagen is like I maybe this is just [TS]

  like this the limitations of my mind but [TS]

  that's why the hundred million dollar [TS]

  question is so interesting to me because [TS]

  i don't think people iterate they don't [TS]

  do enough iterations of the future where [TS]

  you go one iteration of the future i pay [TS]

  off on my family's debt super nice [TS]

  ok next iteration the future no family [TS]

  knows you have tons of money and you [TS]

  have less now [TS]

  ok ok i will have the systems that this [TS]

  is where it gets this is where it's such [TS]

  a brain teaser for people because i pad [TS]

  I just I just pose this question to a [TS]

  lady friend of mine the other day and [TS]

  she said well made a hundred million [TS]

  dollars it's like [TS]

  you're not really set for life I mean [TS]

  you could blow through that pretty fast [TS]

  did not set for your life and I was like [TS]

  say what know exactly tell me how a [TS]

  hundred million dollars is not set for [TS]

  life and she was like well I mean you [TS]

  know he's just a little bit here a [TS]

  little bit there and I'm like a little [TS]

  bit here a little bit there a hundred [TS]

  million dollars that's a million dollars [TS]

  a year for a hundred years 2 billion [TS]

  dollars a year for 50 years and she's [TS]

  like well yeah exactly 2 million dollars [TS]

  a year like I would have no trouble [TS]

  spending 2 billion dollars a year and I [TS]

  was like oh look at this way I'm gonna [TS]

  I'm gonna find totally pulling this out [TS]

  of my ass but this is my postulation I [TS]

  don't say it but think about whether [TS]

  it's your that later who ever think [TS]

  about the largest amount of money that [TS]

  you've ever had in a liquid form like [TS]

  you could spend this money [TS]

  yep and let's say that whatever $50,000 [TS]

  let's say that some happen your family [TS]

  so we passed away [TS]

  you gotta know to two hundred thousand [TS]

  dollars whatever it is that you would [TS]

  rush to go do stuff with to like a but i [TS]

  think if you give somebody more i'm [TS]

  making this up if you give somebody [TS]

  let's call that they're there [TS]

  jee le their greatest liquidity event [TS]

  you give people agree that the GL 'if [TS]

  you give them three times the previous [TS]

  largest liquidity event [TS]

  yeah it might as well be a zillion [TS]

  dollars I don't think for a minute and [TS]

  i'll just be for myself in time for [TS]

  myself with money like if it's more than [TS]

  a certain amount you know if you have to [TS]

  somebody else to do something tomorrow [TS]

  morning at 8am I'd say no come on I'm [TS]

  busy something to do something some [TS]

  morning at 8am five years from now I'll [TS]

  probably say yes it's exactly the same [TS]

  amount of time it's just--that's million [TS]

  years away of course i can do that and [TS]

  in that same way a lot of folks so they [TS]

  get three times there i was a jammy dle [TS]

  Julie yeah well I think something like [TS]

  high school test 11 extended weekend in [TS]

  Las Vegas not spent well yeah you could [TS]

  drop you could you know what I'm going [TS]

  to say this i think you could drop a [TS]

  hundred thousand dollars in las vegas [TS]

  without even trying [TS]

  oh you would just did slip on a banana [TS]

  peel and it's gone eat you know it lets [TS]

  just even say [TS]

  you go to like hundred-dollar cables in [TS]

  blackjack but it can't everything starts [TS]

  moving up you know if they make copy [TS]

  room they're not gonna copy cristal we [TS]

  gotta get crystal I'm rich now [TS]

  so now you're saying this new pattern [TS]

  and it's like you know it's you're still [TS]

  that same person as i like to say [TS]

  wherever you travel the old you comes [TS]

  along in the suitcase [TS]

  well and this is this is part part of [TS]

  what I what worries me is that my [TS]

  greatest liquidity event was in 2008 i [TS]

  had a hundred and thirty thousand [TS]

  dollars because the Lord to the part for [TS]

  the point for the purpose of [TS]

  illustrating this story [TS]

  yeah and it was a combination of a TV ad [TS]

  it was all this money that i made as a [TS]

  rock musician and what did i do with it [TS]

  I didn't work for five more years like I [TS]

  did nothing with it i have spent the [TS]

  last five years not doing anything [TS]

  except drawing down after your own era [TS]

  it's yeah like that you've actually [TS]

  inherited money for its up I every day I [TS]

  go on my favorite website bring a [TS]

  trailer calm and I look at hot rod cars [TS]

  and I go who that'd be a cool car [TS]

  look at that be cool car and a great [TS]

  number of these cars are affordable to [TS]

  me you know they're fifteen thousand [TS]

  dollars for a certain kind of hot rodder [TS]

  you know $10,000 $20,000 and I've been [TS]

  looking at these cars the entire time [TS]

  when I had a veritable fortune I mean [TS]

  and I had this amount of money in the [TS]

  bank this wasn't like money that was [TS]

  promised to me i was still earning money [TS]

  right [TS]

  this was funny and in the bank and what [TS]

  did i do I just kept living like I've [TS]

  been living which is so fucking easy [TS]

  I go to New York I go to san francisco i [TS]

  go to Portland I go to wherever I want [TS]

  to go and I stand hotels and I eat food [TS]

  but i did not increase the amount of [TS]

  luxury [TS]

  OIC [TS]

  a massage did you okay i did not start [TS]

  spending more money than i had ever done [TS]

  and up until that point I had been [TS]

  living on twenty thousand dollars a year [TS]

  and i continued to more or less live on [TS]

  twenty thousand dollars a year because [TS]

  you know I don't drink and I don't smoke [TS]

  and I don't you know I don't buy I think [TS]

  you can't discount gambling gambling is [TS]

  this secret shame thing I keep learning [TS]

  more and more people are gambling was [TS]

  just their undoing [TS]

  yeah I don't gamble i do not it'sit's [TS]

  wearing your sergeants in a way it's [TS]

  worse than drugs because in the sense [TS]

  that like you know if you buy the most [TS]

  expensive big old bunch of cocaine in [TS]

  the world or heroin or whatever whatever [TS]

  is expensive you know if you did all of [TS]

  that in one night you would die [TS]

  yeah or be very very ill but you could [TS]

  spend 50 times more than you've ever [TS]

  spent on gambling in one night just [TS]

  because you felt like you were hot [TS]

  yeah right oh you did you know upper [TS]

  limit to that you will and you will [TS]

  regrettably still be alive when that's [TS]

  done but I don't but you know I don't [TS]

  like it and so right so my concern is [TS]

  that if I mean that and this is why pose [TS]

  this question to everybody is that I'm [TS]

  legitimately worried that if I won a [TS]

  hundred million dollars or if I earned [TS]

  two million dollars [TS]

  this is the hundred million dollars is [TS]

  like if I $109 i would not keep living [TS]

  on twenty thousand dollars a year i [TS]

  would definitely like to up my game a [TS]

  little bit but if I made two million [TS]

  dollars if something for some reason I i [TS]

  made a good record or i sold a book you [TS]

  know making one of those two million [TS]

  dollar books or you know was it for [TS]

  whatever reason became an entertainment [TS]

  property such that iron 2 million [TS]

  dollars [TS]

  I'm very worried that I would just [TS]

  put it in the bank and stop working [TS]

  forever and live on the same sort of 30 [TS]

  grand a year with a nice worried but you [TS]

  know I I want to be more i want to be a [TS]

  little bit more flamboyant i mean i [TS]

  would I feel like so ghetto go get an [TS]

  expensive watch at the very light my [TS]

  analysis from afar would be if I hear [TS]

  what you're really saying is that you're [TS]

  not making as much stuff as you'd like [TS]

  right now and if you had a hundred [TS]

  million dollars that's really all the [TS]

  reason you need to not make another [TS]

  thing again and that's the last thing in [TS]

  the world you need right now right [TS]

  my classes that mean yes yes but i [TS]

  cannot but i cannot say to myself you're [TS]

  bored poverty is a blessing and you know [TS]

  you're gonna you need to you need to get [TS]

  back to the place where you do look at [TS]

  the prices on menus but not not from the [TS]

  perspective of a 24-year old living in [TS]

  your artist garrett but from the [TS]

  perspective of a 45 year old who is [TS]

  feeling like tighten his belt that is [TS]

  what you need because that might make [TS]

  you pick up the pen and go back to work [TS]

  and work is what gives life meaning and [TS]

  it's just sitting and watching the [TS]

  sitting on your front porch with a with [TS]

  a mug of coffee watching the Sun arc [TS]

  across the sky is not how you should [TS]

  mark your time on this planet and it's [TS]

  what I've been doing for the last five [TS]

  years watching the leaves change because [TS]

  I didn't have to worry [TS]

  and I didn't have that much money i mean [TS]

  i'm honestly right when it by comparison [TS]

  sure I mean there that is not really [TS]

  that much money to live for five years [TS]

  that's pretty remarkable yeah but I but [TS]

  what I spent money than I don't spend [TS]

  money on anything I spent money on [TS]

  everyone's while ago in a restaurant and [TS]

  I don't look at the menu the rest of the [TS]

  time i can meet i get i get somebody [TS]

  gives me a bag of coffee and i'm and i [TS]

  make it and I said on my porch and i [TS]

  watch the leaves change and then it's [TS]

  2010 and every once in a while ha [TS]

  judgment calls and says want to do a [TS]

  show in portland I go sure and generally [TS]

  he buys the train ticket so I didn't [TS]

  have to spend any money i can get into [TS]

  your racket that's a good racket [TS]

  well except like that's just enough [TS]

  activity to keep you thinking you're [TS]

  working [TS]

  yeah but i know i'm not i'm I know [TS]

  anything that disparagingly i suffer [TS]

  from the same thing you know i feel like [TS]

  if i can make a tiny little uh you know [TS]

  the sewer pea-sized poopy I really [TS]

  succeeded you know I create anything at [TS]

  all like yeah me get a cookie [TS]

  it goes back to I think a like the like [TS]

  a foundational idea that I had as a [TS]

  young person which was that money was [TS]

  money provided leisure and if you had [TS]

  money then you have the then you had [TS]

  leisure and so leisure is the highest [TS]

  purchase like that is the that is the [TS]

  most valuable commodity and yet i have [TS]

  leisure in abundance and I do not feel [TS]

  rich [TS]

  wait I mean to state the obvious it's [TS]

  hard to appreciate the leisure if you [TS]

  don't also have the work in other words [TS]

  a day off doesn't mean as much if you [TS]

  weren't you know he's doing something [TS]

  that you didn't want to have to do or [TS]

  for that matter that you wanted to do I [TS]

  suppose [TS]

  leisure increases in value and it only [TS]

  in comparison to work or like ultimate [TS]

  leisure with this is the you know my [TS]

  sister went on foreign exchange her [TS]

  junior year in high school she went to [TS]

  st. Lucia which is a island in the [TS]

  caribbean at the southern southern part [TS]

  of the Caribbean and she came back from [TS]

  st. Lucia from a year they're speaking [TS]

  with a kind of patois lilting Caribbean [TS]

  patois and she said you know mine and [TS]

  she's a junior in high school [TS]

  blonde blonde junior in high school [TS]

  shoes like we work to hard up your men [TS]

  got to just relax and I was like it's [TS]

  casual [TS]

  I was like okay okay rastaman check [TS]

  check it but it had a profound effect on [TS]

  her at a bit at a very impressionable [TS]

  age she went to I an island where the [TS]

  breadfruit fell from the trees and the [TS]

  culture on st. Lucia was very much like [TS]

  what are you stressing about you know [TS]

  relax and enjoy yourself and just you [TS]

  know hang out go to the beach like it [TS]

  and she brought that mentality back to [TS]

  Alaska and up until that point she been [TS]

  a real Stryver in her classes you know [TS]

  she'd been up straight excuse she skied [TS]

  is that what it was [TS]

  choose a competitive skier she was a [TS]

  commission competitive and everything [TS]

  she did and she was a real go-getter [TS]

  like a natural-born go get her and it [TS]

  wasn't clear to her what she was going [TS]

  to get but she was just chasing the [TS]

  dragon you know like so many of us in [TS]

  this culture are taught to do like you [TS]

  know get up go go go you gotta get into [TS]

  the school and get into the place and [TS]

  then get the job go go and she went on [TS]

  for exchanging chic [TS]

  back and she was like it's all baloney [TS]

  our whole rat race is baloney and all we [TS]

  have to do is just sit on the beach and [TS]

  wait for the breadfruit to fall from the [TS]

  trees but she did not live in st. Lucia [TS]

  she lived in Alaska there is no [TS]

  breadfruit it does not fall from the [TS]

  trees there and and it became a schism [TS]

  it was a have that experience in her [TS]

  life was actually actually became a [TS]

  schism in our family because there but [TS]

  you know there was no we weren't or we [TS]

  weren't able to moderate our like what [TS]

  our aspirations were anymore as people [TS]

  we don't have to be almost like three [TS]

  rejecting the family's religion it's [TS]

  like shit so outside the paradigm of how [TS]

  you can deal with people [TS]

  yeah we'll be right i mean it kind of [TS]

  disruptive to how your family's [TS]

  organized almost yeah absolutely like it [TS]

  wasn't a question of I mean neither [TS]

  Susan or I were going to go to Yale but [TS]

  that meant that we would try to get into [TS]

  a really good state school like [TS]

  university washington university [TS]

  California you know and that was a place [TS]

  where we could wear where are where we [TS]

  could maintain our pride at least but [TS]

  Susan went to the University of fuckit [TS]

  down in Durango Colorado for loozer [TS]

  college and durango and I think [TS]

  registered for classes and then withdrew [TS]

  from class a week later and took the and [TS]

  got the refund for her tuition and [TS]

  bought a season's pass at a like [TS]

  telluride or Bridger Bowl or somewhere [TS]

  and spent the whole season a smoking pot [TS]

  on the chairlifts and it was just like [TS]

  whoa whoa whoa that's not how we do [TS]

  she was like a man i'm feeling high [TS]

  right now that's Charles too far I I an [TS]

  ice ki-i-i-ng and it was like no you [TS]

  can't even listen to a joke version of [TS]

  that kind of talking and it makes me [TS]

  live it and that she know what it what [TS]

  are you doing and I and and and then I [TS]

  had to reflect on my own version of that [TS]

  which was you know a kind of like my [TS]

  version of it was from from ways manzano [TS]

  you know it was a guy I wanted a I [TS]

  wanted a turtle covered with jewels and [TS]

  I watched each another car covered with [TS]

  jewels in the Clarion layout design made [TS]

  of Allah book it looks fucked up [TS]

  it's really fucked up but you know that [TS]

  was my version of leisure as a reward or [TS]

  leisure as as highest luxury but you [TS]

  know in upon reflection i somehow [TS]

  subvert of my own ambition [TS]

  I mean what am i what would I fight for [TS]

  now what am i fighting for [TS]

  who do I care recognizes me what club do [TS]

  I want to be a member of [TS]

  who you know who what what if not for [TS]

  money or status [TS]

  why work it's too abstract to work for [TS]

  its own sake or to work and I mean and I [TS]

  know that there are people right now who [TS]

  are saying for others for others work [TS]

  for others [TS]

  I got an answer what's your answer I [TS]

  mean it's it's not an easy answer but [TS]

  you work so that you can do the next [TS]

  project that you'd like to do which will [TS]

  help you learn the next project you'd [TS]

  like to do and you can afford to take [TS]

  the the ticket to go somewhere where you [TS]

  may not make as much money but it's the [TS]

  thing that you wanted to do it's not a [TS]

  matter of just to me the leisure part of [TS]

  it i guess if any at this point my life [TS]

  like if anything i wish i had more money [TS]

  i'd love my family more secure but I'd [TS]

  also love to not have to worry about [TS]

  stuff like oh well there's not a lot of [TS]

  money in this show but we'd like you to [TS]

  do this and just be able to do that and [TS]

  then you go and meet people and you [TS]

  become more out there and things like [TS]

  that but but you know in another way it [TS]

  you can look at like anybody else has [TS]

  made anything good out of a bunch of [TS]

  money which is they learn how to find [TS]

  new opportunities and what they were [TS]

  doing not just to make more money but [TS]

  you know if you start giving money away [TS]

  for good causes you meet more people who [TS]

  need money for good causes and you [TS]

  become a manager of that stuff in some [TS]

  ways I think you know I think we run [TS]

  into trouble when we start feeling like [TS]

  we know we're on the end of some kind of [TS]

  a string [TS]

  you know it's just it you know it's just [TS]

  if you have a clear sense right now of [TS]

  what it is you want to create this would [TS]

  not be that hard because you just be [TS]

  able to say you could go out you can [TS]

  produce a movie you could go out and [TS]

  just go approach a filmmaker and say I [TS]

  want to write a soundtrack for this or [TS]

  you could say to somebody hey you know [TS]

  what I really like say go I want to do a [TS]

  commercial for you something like that [TS]

  that's the thing is is giving feeling [TS]

  it's me that the ultimate goal would be [TS]

  to feel empowered non-powered to feel [TS]

  fearless about going and at and like [TS]

  seeking out the projects that you'd like [TS]

  to do and that doesn't work out there's [TS]

  three more you could do that's that's [TS]

  freedom to me it's not about the ability [TS]

  to go out and buy four cars that look at [TS]

  the price is the ability to know that [TS]

  like each failure gets you closer to the [TS]

  next cool thing that you do but it [TS]

  presupposes that I am interested in here [TS]

  in human culture that's true you know [TS]

  that I want to be a member [TS]

  you're interested in human culture i [TS]

  mean i'm interested in it because I [TS]

  don't easy out you know you are because [TS]

  i don't have access to any better [TS]

  cultures you should work with Elon Musk [TS]

  I should and we should go find some [TS]

  smart people out in space in it that [TS]

  would be a hell of a trip this year and [TS]

  tell it yes search for intelligent life [TS]

  with an extremely narrow definition of [TS]

  what intelligences yeah so if you find [TS]

  life but somebody's got a 65 like you [TS]

  just yeah I some right there are you [TS]

  find life and it's even that's 220 IQ [TS]

  people but they're like all talking [TS]

  about sammy hagar record you know Lionel [TS]

  czech intelligence i was i was thinking [TS]

  about this the other day [TS]

  Sammy Hagar and Guy Fieri represents a [TS]

  kind of a dyin i seein human brand right [TS]

  there is a whole sub level of like the [TS]

  rate that work together day they're like [TS]

  Ferengi humans whose who are all wearing [TS]

  flame pants and high-top tennis shoes [TS]

  they wear glasses on the back of their [TS]

  epic with the glasses on the back there [TS]

  they wear baseball caps are backwards [TS]

  chad kroeger is one of these people like [TS]

  there and you can see what once you [TS]

  start to recognize them [TS]

  it's like it's like they live scenario [TS]

  where like oh that's a Hagar shit [TS]

  there's a fee area over there and it's a [TS]

  whole it's a whole class of humans that [TS]

  are living among us and they they you [TS]

  know they look like pan you know they [TS]

  have I'm sure that you look like pan [TS]

  I'm sure that guy fieri and sammy hagar [TS]

  both have very hairy tabs and maybe [TS]

  cloven hooves and they just want to [TS]

  drink wine and party and have a good [TS]

  time and I don't think they're dumb one [TS]

  of those beers can't be shaved off [TS]

  that's right they have little goat [TS]

  beards yeah they look like fucking pan [TS]

  and they are like pan men [TS]

  it and they're living all around us and [TS]

  I think I suspect that they are having a [TS]

  good time they are living on the same [TS]

  planet as me and when I when I'm around [TS]

  Guy Fieri and and sammy hagar people I [TS]

  feel like one of those tall ghost tall [TS]

  like a shadow like elders or whatever [TS]

  like in a in a grey cloak who are living [TS]

  on a gonna get a cold hall and get a [TS]

  long table [TS]

  yeah and the pan people are out like [TS]

  clicks mirroring crushed grapes on their [TS]

  naked chests and like a drum solo [TS]

  playing or whatever and now you got [TS]

  snowboard in here time I'm somewhere you [TS]

  know it's like me and fee waybill and a [TS]

  few waybill here's another one [TS]

  here's another one of the pain people it [TS]

  is a bad person fee [TS]

  yeah for sure but you know I I don't [TS]

  want to be one of the I don't want to be [TS]

  one of the graves i think george w bush [TS]

  might be a closet panties a little bit [TS]

  of a panty panty yeah I know exactly [TS]

  what you mean like we say we [TS]

  disparagingly write these men office [TS]

  douchebags and they certainly are right [TS]

  there's much more to it than that [TS]

  there's so much there's the that the [TS]

  kind of those this printed shirts with [TS]

  lots of like graphical designs on a [TS]

  button up shirt or let's say let's say a [TS]

  suit jacket that someone has stenciled a [TS]

  dragon head on one shoulder it [TS]

  yeah and then resew it was like a thrift [TS]

  store jacket they resold you for two [TS]

  hundred dollars what if ok so the [TS]

  twisted and they live [TS]

  Rowdy Roddy McDowall for the glasses and [TS]

  he's able to see the skeleton people [TS]

  right what if they were their glasses on [TS]

  the back of their neck because that's [TS]

  where their actual eyes are that lets [TS]

  them some other pan man hello [TS]

  so what I'm saying is Elon Musk and I go [TS]

  flying around [TS]

  let's say we would we accidentally like [TS]

  we went into a wormhole but it was [TS]

  accidentally wasn't a wormhole it was [TS]

  just a cloud we came around and we [TS]

  landed on earth [TS]

  banging on the detached look at [TS]

  keep an eye on earth and we thought we [TS]

  had found another place and we landed in [TS]

  cabo san lucas and we got out of the [TS]

  spaceship and were like we're on a [TS]

  desert planet and look at village and we [TS]

  walked over and it was full of sammy [TS]

  hagar this place identifies itself as [TS]

  Sammy's salty rim [TS]

  yeah and they're all they're all eating [TS]

  ribs and drinking margaritas and you can [TS]

  you sue they just all kind of like [TS]

  people who are cooking shows people who [TS]

  are on in briefly in van Halen and will [TS]

  Rachel Ray rachael ray she's a pan [TS]

  pushing her talk her voice does not [TS]

  sound like you would expect in fact now [TS]

  that I think about it every single [TS]

  member Van Halen as a pan person every [TS]

  single one every member of the Scorpions [TS]

  is a pan person this is starting to get [TS]

  fucking creepy and you better be fucking [TS]

  ready to rock and roll [TS]

  no wonder I feel like one of the grains [TS]

  I wish I could I wish I had not seen [TS]

  this I want to I want to unsee this now [TS]

  I want to get back to just wishing i had [TS]

  money because now this is the thing is [TS]

  it used to be something you get this [TS]

  vague feelings where you know there's [TS]

  something there but you don't have the [TS]

  time and inclination to put it together [TS]

  now I can do this this is a chart on the [TS]

  wall for me now [TS]

  that's right what I'm saying if Ilan [TS]

  muscular landed on this planet and and [TS]

  landed on the wrong side of cabo san [TS]

  lucas we might take off again and nuke [TS]

  the place feeling like we can't let this [TS]

  virus spread right but in fact it's it's [TS]

  like half the population of the human [TS]

  beings would you have a prime directive [TS]

  with that with Captain lon [TS]

  would you uh you know it's got a lot of [TS]

  his own opinions I'm sure I would have [TS]

  to negotiate something with him only [TS]

  have one captain of the ship John [TS]

  yeah and I mean I would have to have to [TS]

  guess that he he's not gonna be my [TS]

  scotty but it would be one of those [TS]

  things where he would you know he'd [TS]

  start off as the spot character thinking [TS]

  he was the commander of the enterprise [TS]

  and then they would realize that I was [TS]

  the that I was the board commander and [TS]

  that he would eventually become my first [TS]

  officer I think a good manager knows [TS]

  what theyre not good at yeah yeah and [TS]

  you know you can use logic you can look [TS]

  for you can look to open markets but a [TS]

  certain point you're going to need a guy [TS]

  that's willing to make the hard choices [TS]

  that does not believe in no-win [TS]

  scenarios and that's me [TS]

  kobayashi room and then 10 men 10 men [TS]

  everywhere there but they're not every [TS]

  it's like ten percent of ten percent of [TS]

  the people all you should remember you [TS]

  should go to our mall buddy one hundred [TS]

  percent of Van Halen but ten percent of [TS]

  like the pan mane vacant people [TS]

  uh-huh you think plr plr he seems like [TS]

  he's a pan [TS]

  sure yeah they are definitely rough [TS]

  actually has clothing meet you think [TS]

  Neymar name a rock musician like a [TS]

  definitely all of aerosmith can men and [TS]

  men know the Eagles look Pat men tons of [TS]

  them but pan men that have adopted some [TS]

  kind of sad like like this and you know [TS]

  who else is a is sad pad man he better [TS]

  be better sad man [TS]

  yeah haha [TS]

  I gotta go and take a situation [TS]