Ep. 84: "Pedagogical Sex Father"

0:00:00hello age on Merlin has gone good mmm

0:00:12good here to be honest i have been

0:00:15recording podcasts on a little bit

0:00:16winded you are a podcast recorder

0:00:20hmm uh-huh all happen i'll have it right

0:00:24here it's just yeah yeah I hear I hear

0:00:27from a lot of people about your podcasts

0:00:29yeah I don't like using that word

0:00:30podcast certainly out nobody found a

0:00:33better one being outcasts

0:00:35yeah it's hell is that tests on ugly it

0:00:38sounds like poop

0:00:39I tried to for awhile coin that you may

0:00:42recall when we first started doing this

0:00:43I tried to separate it and make it into

0:00:45words podcast yeah and I got some angry

0:00:49letters from Germany

0:00:50oh yes is a term of art there

0:00:53well I don't know what I don't know what

0:00:55their problem was I never know what

0:00:56they're for the Germans problem is but

0:00:58that these guys were like no not nine

0:01:01dick house that I guess I'm sorry I

0:01:06didn't know what you know it just it I

0:01:07think of it I think good maybe they

0:01:09didn't like the affectation

0:01:11I don't know what you know we kid we kid

0:01:13about our listeners but i just want to

0:01:14stipulate to the people of Germany there

0:01:18are there's nobody who's more tolerant

0:01:19of the craft of the choices that we give

0:01:21them the government's that's true

0:01:23therefore resilient John you know funny

0:01:25the funny thing is did you know he

0:01:28probably didn't know this but did you

0:01:29know that Germans are far and away the

0:01:34disproportionately largest group of

0:01:36immigrants in America I would not have

0:01:40guessed that but net that does make

0:01:41sense yeah it's like a he take the take

0:01:45the numbers of all the people that have

0:01:46emigrated to the Americas over the years

0:01:48are this America the North America and

0:01:51and the Germans are like overwhelmingly

0:01:54that the largest population and they

0:01:56came over they just stayed quiet they

0:02:00kept moving

0:02:01they got out of the way mhm they got

0:02:03some farmland out there in minnetonka

0:02:05and they started making schnitzel and

0:02:09and then they integrated into the local

0:02:13population because they look just like

0:02:14English English sure if you if pressed I

0:02:18changed their name to Windsor when you

0:02:22yo yo Han york i would have guessed if

0:02:28pressed I would have guessed Irish whose

0:02:30property it and availability heuristic

0:02:32on my part but you know Irish used to be

0:02:34very discriminating against you aware of

0:02:35this

0:02:36no no blacks dogs are Irish is that a

0:02:39real sign that was a real son

0:02:41no blacks dogs are Irishness service i

0:02:43reassured that at the bottom of that

0:02:45list actually I seem to remember I think

0:02:48anyone had a charvel with a picture of a

0:02:50leprechaun with a Buster on it never has

0:02:52no fat chicks no fat chicks

0:02:55how do you know used to be able to get

0:02:57away with that but now that's very

0:02:58unpopular cut all this out i I'm out my

0:03:03last name is German I i come from start

0:03:05to finish

0:03:05mon from all the Germans stock also i'll

0:03:08bet you you know the Germans come in

0:03:10they work hard they don't they didn't

0:03:12cause cause a lot of trouble and they

0:03:14weren't controversial in the way I don't

0:03:16know anything about history John but i

0:03:17think they were controversial compared

0:03:19to a lot of you say they blend in blend

0:03:21to do that you know what I mean

0:03:23well yeah they were you know the Germans

0:03:26i think i think the Irish and the

0:03:28Italians both immigrated to America

0:03:30typically because their countries were

0:03:32having food crises and they were kind of

0:03:36coming over here because it was a last

0:03:37ditch effort or like they put their they

0:03:41went down to the docks and they put

0:03:42their kids on the boat and they said

0:03:44ciao go find go find food in America

0:03:47little really really really excel

0:03:50self-preservation

0:03:52ya like like we are not making it here

0:03:54there are too many of us in Italy and

0:03:55and there's a potato famine here and we

0:03:58are gone

0:03:59whereas the Germans I think maybe moved

0:04:02emigrated to america with a little bit

0:04:04more resources and maybe were able to

0:04:07like get on a wagon train and get out to

0:04:10Minnesota and North Dakota and claim

0:04:12their land and they knew how to use guns

0:04:15so they could defend their land against

0:04:18I don't get the Irish against he gets

0:04:20the Irish were who are coming from

0:04:22a little bit later get out of my

0:04:23cabbages um but yeah it's it's a it's a

0:04:27strange statistic and and you know like

0:04:30the Germans are the silent majority i am

0:04:33not really like that senior like that

0:04:35Godfather Godfather movies the first

0:04:36couple and others that great scene at

0:04:38the beginning of godfather to when a

0:04:40veto arrives at ellis island and there's

0:04:43that long i have no way to know if this

0:04:45is anywhere near real but i love that

0:04:47long cannon-shot we're going across all

0:04:51the people waiting to be processed you

0:04:52know through Ellis Island I thought that

0:04:54was just so wonderfully done it looks

0:04:55like it really looks like it's from

0:04:57whatever you know 1900 or whatever but

0:05:00it also just gives you feel can imagine

0:05:02how monkey balls it must have been in

0:05:03manhattan at that time to be cheek to

0:05:06jowl with all these different people

0:05:07when really like a lot of folks from

0:05:09Europe they're coming from a more

0:05:11homogeneous background has been so

0:05:13strange to be living like right next to

0:05:15people from a different continent that

0:05:16you could have to totally crazy

0:05:18particularly given that the Irish and

0:05:22Italians and a panel and frankly a lot

0:05:25of the Germans and move a lot of the

0:05:27people's all shared a religion i mean

0:05:28they were all cat liquors never

0:05:34pronounced like that

0:05:35did you go in that John my father grew

0:05:39up I up here are in seattle on capitol

0:05:41hill and there were their work at

0:05:45liquors who went to Catholic school and

0:05:48there were public hers who went to

0:05:50public school so you either link to

0:05:53public white guy rhyming slang

0:05:56yeah and then there were the Jews and

0:05:58the Jews went you know the Jews kind of

0:06:00were like in the middle and of course

0:06:02the the the the Japanese bringing up the

0:06:06rear or actually you know heading the

0:06:08basketball team

0:06:09so my dad seattle was was fairly

0:06:13cosmopolitan but also you know that the

0:06:15the main groups were Japanese Jewish

0:06:18italian italian irish and then whatever

0:06:23Episcopalian or whatever the rest of the

0:06:25people were

0:06:26interesting little world when I look at

0:06:28my mom's high school yearbook

0:06:30she graduated in nineteen fifty-four

0:06:32first of all everybody looks 50 like 35

0:06:36to 50 years of age but its next stage

0:06:39III there's a kid in my in my daughter's

0:06:42preschool I won't name him because he's

0:06:45too I bet in but he looks 50 and I'm and

0:06:51you're one of these you're one of these

0:06:53kids that I see in an old photographs of

0:06:55the Bowery you're like a shoeshine boy

0:06:58like looking up with a Donegal cap

0:07:01yeah he's a he is he is just a couple of

0:07:04like leather boots and and knee-high

0:07:07pants away from being a street ruffian

0:07:10in the foot down the five points huh

0:07:13it is strange i always think I think of

0:07:15a semi- here because it is it was an

0:07:18interesting mix 44 1956 it was an

0:07:22interesting mix of like there are a lot

0:07:23of Jewish people a lot of the essay like

0:07:26you know different kinds of it not so

0:07:27many black people but but they were

0:07:29there it was it was more integrated in

0:07:34the aggregate that I would have expected

0:07:36yeah i think that it's in seattle in

0:07:38particular like the great migration of

0:07:42african-americans came during the war

0:07:45and before that there was a vibrant a

0:07:48small but vibrant community the second

0:07:51big arrival this couple 300 years

0:07:55earlier he had some show up

0:07:56but-but-but here and see I'm in the

0:07:58North well I see you got to do I

0:08:00manufacturing well yeah there they they

0:08:03came from the south to work in the

0:08:05Boeing your airplane factory before that

0:08:08there was a there was a tight-knit and

0:08:11and vibrant black community in seattle

0:08:14and they were that they were such a

0:08:16minority that there was there was not

0:08:20really much racism against them the

0:08:24threat to the threat the white people

0:08:26perceived where the Chinese out here and

0:08:30so because of their numbers

0:08:31yeah right i mean the Chinese were

0:08:33flooding the city and there were

0:08:35anti-chinese riots here and there were

0:08:37like the the Chinese were the terror

0:08:40defying influx and the blacks had a had

0:08:42a work were like a middle-class

0:08:45community there was a prominent guy who

0:08:47owned a waterfront hotel who built a

0:08:50large house at the top of Capitol Hill

0:08:52and his family all lived you know all

0:08:54kind of came up to join them and they

0:08:56but they kind of built in neighborhood

0:08:57so before the war

0:09:00from all accounts there was not a lot of

0:09:04prejudice against blacks here it was all

0:09:07directed it at the bronchi kind of asian

0:09:10and then after the war course then it

0:09:14was like all bets were off there were

0:09:16there were still red line laws here in

0:09:18Seattle meaning like black families

0:09:20couldn't live north of a certain Street

0:09:23all the way just like wouldn't get a

0:09:25mortgage

0:09:26oh yeah they wouldn't get a they would

0:09:28not only were they not get a mortgage

0:09:29they would like yeah you want you you

0:09:32weren't they weren't really even

0:09:34encouraged to walk around after dark

0:09:36north of a surface street and that

0:09:38persisted here until the early seventies

0:09:40yeah my mom I don't know why I remember

0:09:43this but from the time my mom was taking

0:09:45real estate classes shitty the license

0:09:48in ohio and then legislature in florida

0:09:49in both cases she had to take classes in

0:09:52and how they call it the time that

0:09:54steering you have vertical red line to

0:09:57back in the day when they really did

0:09:58when banks you know that comes from

0:10:00banks would actually take a map and with

0:10:02a red whatever they use for markers

0:10:04would draw red lines but if you're in

0:10:08this area you can get a mortgage

0:10:09thanks doc please hold up the map and

0:10:12talk loud because they didn't understand

0:10:13English the whole childhood shakemap

0:10:15them with red lines on it i'm not just

0:10:17being treated like that with my mom and

0:10:20dad bought a house in 60

0:10:23let's say four in the name in within the

0:10:27the redline neighborhood in a hidden in

0:10:29a neighborhood that was that had already

0:10:32that was that we had always directly

0:10:34Chinese well no that was that way that

0:10:36that they were deciding already was

0:10:39going to be the ghetto and the banks and

0:10:42you know my dad of course was my dad

0:10:45knew knew his banker as as you did at

0:10:48the time if you were if you were

0:10:50prominent a white guy

0:10:53and his banker was like Dave come on you

0:10:56can't buy down in that neighborhood it's

0:10:57you know like basically saying we are

0:11:01conspiring to turn that neighborhood

0:11:04into a shithole like what are you

0:11:05thinking

0:11:06have you been not coming to the meetings

0:11:07and my dad that's possible but that was

0:11:11like now now we're gonna that's the

0:11:13house we want and the you know and had

0:11:16to kind of twist his bankers arm to

0:11:20protect to agree you know to get even

0:11:24I'm gonna say this even my dad couldn't

0:11:27easily get a mortgage in that

0:11:29neighborhood because it was like a

0:11:31citywide plan knows risk is like risky

0:11:34let's turn this neighborhood into a a a

0:11:39bog you know because government doesn't

0:11:43work let's stop fixing up this neighbor

0:11:45I think we can all agree on rightminding

0:11:48together they called steering with

0:11:50movement mom's time because it really

0:11:52was i don't think it it could I could

0:11:54almost repeat i think what they meant

0:11:56was don't gently put your hand on the

0:11:59black family shoulders and like move

0:12:01them over to clifton you know what i

0:12:03mean but I mean really like literally

0:12:05steering wheel like to take you to where

0:12:06houses would be it wasn't legal

0:12:09I mean it was a legal thing that was

0:12:10very much a cultural thing where if

0:12:12somebody want to go to indian hill or

0:12:14something

0:12:15you got no no you don't wanna go over

0:12:17there if you want to go over here that

0:12:19you'll be more comfortable here

0:12:21yeah it's like the scene animal house

0:12:22like Achmed like you need a hug dish and

0:12:25Mohammed and yeah yeah I'm very

0:12:30surprised to learn from you in this

0:12:31conversation that there were any classes

0:12:34in Florida pretending to real estate

0:12:36licensing i think it was mostly it was a

0:12:39nominal sort of you know like realistic

0:12:41thing it was like a game of lawn darts

0:12:44right there they drew a circle and if

0:12:45you could get a dart in the circle you

0:12:47were you were

0:12:49yeah these your lieutenant governor it

0:12:50was education by charts look chocolates

0:12:55well i have i have just recently found

0:13:01in the greater seattle area

0:13:03the bit in the Seattle bedroom community

0:13:07of burien a place called hansa sausage &

0:13:10delicatessen owned by hans and Mary on

0:13:14stewin i'm holding their business card

0:13:18and it is it is a german deli I went in

0:13:24there the other day I was driving by and

0:13:26I was like them that building looks like

0:13:28a that the building is like a big Abel

0:13:31vice you know it looked like a it looks

0:13:34like the Eagles Nest but it was in

0:13:37between two auto shops and I went in and

0:13:41they're all these Germans in there and

0:13:42they're all I you know talking their

0:13:45German talk and I walked over to the

0:13:47deli counter and there's 80 different

0:13:52versts oh my god

0:13:54and I said well what do you got going on

0:13:56here what's so what's the what's the

0:13:58story and the guy was like can be

0:14:00tempted to put up to the list and I said

0:14:04you know you gotta versed sampler it was

0:14:07like you've won seven of us and i got

0:14:10like two pounds of versed sampler where

0:14:14he just went along and it didn't it

0:14:16didn't make it there

0:14:16oh yeah Wow and he went along we cut cut

0:14:20you know three slices of every burst

0:14:24they had he came to the he came to the

0:14:27tongue versed and he held it up and he

0:14:31was like you want the tongue

0:14:32some people don't want the tunnel and I

0:14:36stood there and I said I'm going to be

0:14:38in the am going to be in the don't want

0:14:40the tongue camp it was not it was like

0:14:43em so i left the tongue out but every

0:14:48other kind of worst and I've been

0:14:49working through it here every day like

0:14:52is it is all Marc see you know which is

0:14:54which worst is worst know it was it

0:14:57wasn't it's like guess guess the worst

0:15:00is the game so i'll pull three slices

0:15:03out and I'm like wow you know you smell

0:15:05it it's like what is this this is crazy

0:15:07so i highly recommend that you find the

0:15:10german deli in your neighborhood

0:15:12can go in and get the first sampler

0:15:15because it is a it's truly a journey in

0:15:19meet have you been happy with the but

0:15:21there's also far i have been happy I

0:15:24mean you know anytime I see a nice

0:15:26anytime I see a mental loaf or abalone

0:15:30abalone that has pistachios in it

0:15:34I'm a little wary but this stuff is you

0:15:39know that's all tall either made their

0:15:41or he's got some connection back in

0:15:44Heidelberg the first of all that sounds

0:15:47fantastic but this is so awful the first

0:15:49thing comes to my head is I can't

0:15:50believe it hasn't been co-opted by

0:15:51hipsters it seems like exactly the kind

0:15:54of place where hipsters would sweep in

0:15:55and ruin it

0:15:56well this is what submit this is what

0:15:57why it's in burien it's it's perfectly

0:16:01outside of like the orbit of of hipsters

0:16:07that they have that they haven't found

0:16:09it you know what I mean and it's and

0:16:10it's legitimately like you walk in there

0:16:12there's a there's a shelf with 24 kinds

0:16:16of mustard and I i asked the little

0:16:19hausfrau to come over and talk to me

0:16:22about the mustard and she walked over

0:16:23and she was like you know she kinda

0:16:25tapped on one that was mustered that had

0:16:29been packaged in a little beer stein and

0:16:34she's like that's the hot stuff and I

0:16:36was like sold and then she you know hit

0:16:39another one and she was like that

0:16:41stuff's really good too and I grab that

0:16:43was you know

0:16:44loading up on Monster dwellings they're

0:16:46pretty hot

0:16:49alright I think it's fantastic I i love

0:16:53i love finding stuff like that

0:16:54here's the funny thing that when you're

0:16:55talking about like tongue like you know

0:16:58I might have gone for the tone because I

0:17:00like was it the lingua or whatever the

0:17:02college right now you're talking

0:17:05that's good yes it's real good i but you

0:17:08know when I see something like the

0:17:09things a lot of stuff been like really

0:17:11bastardized and dumb down instantly

0:17:13think of stuff like Bologna

0:17:15I mean it's still going to be you know

0:17:17whatever snouts and and buts or whatever

0:17:19right but you know you can get a pretty

0:17:21good version that had I draw the line

0:17:23headcheese yeah I can't even look at it

0:17:25he's just looks like it's mocking it's

0:17:27mocking you with how much weird shit

0:17:28isn't it

0:17:29if you if you order a hot dog you're

0:17:32probably eating plenty of tongue but

0:17:35this was this was rough chopped and

0:17:40formed into a sausage that was six

0:17:45inches across

0:17:47so it looked like ground bark

0:17:51I like if the second reason I think he

0:17:53did the right thing yeah yeah I want me

0:17:55I'm easing into it I mean I you know I

0:17:56like a little bit of I I'm Polly

0:17:59liverwurst all day but the but the like

0:18:01the rough chopped

0:18:03I mean rough chopped to the extent that

0:18:04there were plenty of taste buds visible

0:18:09haha in your in your to giant log of of

0:18:13like tongues that have been that had

0:18:16been cut out of these beasts

0:18:18yeah and put put into what i can only

0:18:22guess was like a lawnmower and then fed

0:18:26into a sewer pipe and then served on a

0:18:30manhole cover there might be some canary

0:18:35traps in there you never know there

0:18:36might be some joke foods in there that

0:18:37then you can tell you know somebody's a

0:18:39poser if they if they were the wrong

0:18:42thing

0:18:42yeah this seems seems like pro level

0:18:44over but i'm gonna go i'm gonna keep

0:18:46going back to this place i'm gonna go

0:18:47back until until my whole house is

0:18:50decorated in like Baron munchen flax

0:18:56bigger in Munich ilu military time me

0:19:00and old-timey shop we got the the

0:19:02sausages hanging from the ceiling so

0:19:05although that was the bet was the best

0:19:07part is I'm walking out I turn around

0:19:09and I go back to the butcher kind of got

0:19:11this big bag of meat and mi and I look

0:19:14at the guy and he was very friendly and

0:19:16I said did I miss anything

0:19:18what am i missing like giving him the

0:19:21kind of squinty-eyed like you tell me

0:19:24what I'm missing and he nods turns

0:19:29around and goes and grabs a big string

0:19:31of lon da ger off the wall which are

0:19:34those little dried

0:19:37I like turkey sausages and you know

0:19:42there and the time together in a string

0:19:43of sausages but you know they're like

0:19:45they're like Germans I got pepperoni

0:19:47kind of thing

0:19:48yeah it's like it's like that you can

0:19:49keep it at room temperature it's dried

0:19:51and yeah you you pull it out of your

0:19:53pocket and you you'd bite off a hunk and

0:19:56and put it back in your pocket right in

0:19:58your wheelhouse John i have all the

0:20:00things I've seen these lon jaegers in my

0:20:03travels in Germany like if you get out

0:20:05into the country everybody's got one in

0:20:07his shirt pocket

0:20:08they're just they're just like they keep

0:20:10them around because who doesn't want a

0:20:12bite of delicious german pepperoni

0:20:15throughout it looks it looks kind of

0:20:17like a an upscale slim jim

0:20:19exactly and so this any and i say am I

0:20:22missing anything he turns around and is

0:20:24like lon jager and he brings me like a

0:20:26string of them and and I and I plot i

0:20:30purchased like a a fairly long string

0:20:33but when i got home and started like

0:20:35just carrying one around and come

0:20:39chewing on it i realized that i had

0:20:40under ordered by a thousand percent next

0:20:43time that I go I'm going to get many

0:20:45that my whole out it's my Christmas tree

0:20:47is going to be decorated with strings of

0:20:49longer because it's the old so it's it's

0:20:52it's totally it's the perfect it's the

0:20:53perfect meet food

0:20:55it looks like it's almost like you're

0:20:56almost like smoking like you get like

0:20:58get out like a like a three cigar holder

0:21:01and like that it's the state's the size

0:21:03and shape of a chair root em yeah my god

0:21:06this is making me hungry looks really i

0:21:08just had a speaking of the other end of

0:21:11the spectrum i just had a I had a dirty

0:21:12south doesn't hurry so I want to get a

0:21:15dirty self talk about the dirty south

0:21:16right

0:21:17tell me again about the jury say it's a

0:21:18hot dog with chili yeah and cole slaw

0:21:22and BBQ sauce

0:21:24whoa-hoo-hoo mr.right act week and I had

0:21:29to kind of fast so yeah I know I know

0:21:31there's no way that you don't want to

0:21:33savor one of those you want to just want

0:21:35to put it in yet

0:21:36yeah everybody just kind of its real

0:21:38wide because it kind of spreads out the

0:21:40bun it's it's it's definitely like a

0:21:42like I even the fork thing but not gonna

0:21:43hate myself

0:21:44what's up the bone through i have went

0:21:47to a cocktail party last night for a it

0:21:49was a

0:21:50fundraiser because I as i described i'm

0:21:52trying to get more and more involved in

0:21:53local politics and the more involved I

0:21:56get the more I realize even Seattle and

0:22:00and washington state politics are

0:22:02completely gnarly realm of like blood

0:22:09oath and vendetta like half the people I

0:22:14met this cocktail party last night were

0:22:16in the olive oil business it's it is

0:22:20it's just and and you make allegiances

0:22:22and and alliances with people and then

0:22:26later on you regret them hands down down

0:22:29at the left end of the spectrum you

0:22:31still get a lot of vile olive oil

0:22:33industry that's the thing it's all it's

0:22:35all left up here

0:22:36I mean that it is certainly in the

0:22:38circles I travel and it's just like

0:22:39progressives against progressives but my

0:22:43god they go for the jugular and so i'm

0:22:45at anyway I'm at this party last night

0:22:47and there's a there's like a buffet

0:22:50I walked over and I can't eat any of the

0:22:53the starchy stuff but there are these

0:22:57like delicious look like cream cheese

0:22:59filled green peppers and so I gobble a

0:23:05handful of them and like two peppers and

0:23:09I realize their cream cheese filled

0:23:11jalapenos that have not been completely

0:23:16divested of their jalapeno seeds and so

0:23:21I i plow through a you know a baker's

0:23:25dozen of these things before i realized

0:23:27that they are that they are spice

0:23:29grenades

0:23:30I can't believe they're serving these at

0:23:33an event full of normal people like I is

0:23:36that kind of hot where you can take a

0:23:37bite and go that's spicy but then it may

0:23:39not really hit you for a little minute

0:23:41anyway so talk about may not hit you for

0:23:45a while

0:23:45it's really hitting me today oh no you

0:23:48need to go no no i I've mostly a mostly

0:23:52covered all those bases but you know but

0:23:55I'm sitting here I i'm sitting here like

0:23:58a like I am sitting on a porcupine 000

0:24:06which is which is good it's so it's part

0:24:08of part of growing old

0:24:10that's very centering you know it's

0:24:12really keeping me in the moment it's

0:24:14keeping me focused on the now it's easy

0:24:16to overlook when you're just merely

0:24:19getting older it's easy to overlook how

0:24:22quickly everything escalates

0:24:23yeah that it isn't really just a thing

0:24:25of like suddenly there's this thing

0:24:27that's a little different it see you

0:24:29don't even have time to keep up with how

0:24:31many things are changing

0:24:32yeah I can't see I can't eat I can't

0:24:35drink coffee after nine in the morning I

0:24:37can't climb stairs its I you know I feel

0:24:40like I feel like walking out on an

0:24:41iceberg for an ice floe and just like

0:24:44setting sail but then I realized no I've

0:24:47got 40 more years of this but this is

0:24:49just if you're lucky you will have

0:24:52another 40 years of decline the more you

0:24:54know you might want to sit on the

0:24:55iceberg for awhile today but I since i

0:24:59have since i have stopped eating sugar

0:25:01and pasta and rice i have experienced a

0:25:06total transformation and I rim really

0:25:10enjoying it I'm enjoying every aspect of

0:25:13it but there's this nagging feeling that

0:25:17I have become one of those middle-aged

0:25:19men who is about to say I've never been

0:25:23in such good shape in my life I've never

0:25:25felt so young and you know like and I

0:25:29don't I do not want to do not want to go

0:25:32into my middle-aged with a kayak on my

0:25:34roof rack you know what I mean I see you

0:25:37in some patagonia zipped all the way up

0:25:39is to this morning I woke up and I was

0:25:42inspired to put on some wide wale

0:25:45corduroys

0:25:48that's okay that'sthat's within your

0:25:50I'll yeah but I started Oriole

0:25:53wheelhouse like I've been wearing I've

0:25:57been wearing thin well chords for the

0:25:59last 20 years and to transition to why

0:26:01dwell chords it just feels like I I I

0:26:07don't know I'm starting to feel like a

0:26:09sitcom father I'm I'm starting to feel

0:26:13like like I should be in a state like I

0:26:18should be the father in a sitcom where I

0:26:20a UFO alien is trying to pass as a

0:26:25normal high school kid and he's living

0:26:28with a he's living with the family and

0:26:30he's he looks like he's a he's a

0:26:32handsome kid he's got a good couple of

0:26:34good catch phrases but he gets into a

0:26:36lot of trouble because he's a UFO

0:26:38so you're like your character actor from

0:26:40some late seventies early eighties like

0:26:44comedies and you've got your first or

0:26:46second gig

0:26:47unlike an ABC show yeah exactly this is

0:26:50like this is like it's like 3rd rock or

0:26:54uh what was or Al for what was the one

0:26:56where that the Bigfoot lived with them

0:26:59is a hearing the Andersons area in the

0:27:01hundred well that was a movie right

0:27:03yeah but i mean yet but you it would be

0:27:05kind of john lithgow ask do you think

0:27:07you know I think I am I have for 25

0:27:13years I've been kind of afraid of ending

0:27:16up like john lithgow in the world

0:27:23according to garp freely

0:27:25yeah it is hmm scraping scraping feeling

0:27:32hesitant to pull this thread is that the

0:27:34more it becomes a lady i just i remember

0:27:38watching that movie and feeling like of

0:27:40all the of all the actors in this movie

0:27:43the one that resembles me physically the

0:27:46most is John with gal and I don't like I

0:27:51don't like to I don't want to end up

0:27:53being john lithgow i do not want to be

0:27:54Michael Caine in hannah and her sisters

0:27:57oh you're get you don't want to become

0:28:00like the neutered old guy the older guy

0:28:04with the weird haircut huh looks a

0:28:07little bit like I like a lesbian

0:28:08those glasses are too busy you know I

0:28:10mean you lose that you lose any kind of

0:28:12you know that looks certain guys get

0:28:14their fifties when they start looking a

0:28:15little bit shiny and kind of like a lady

0:28:17I don't want to get you know I the last

0:28:19time I saw the psychedelic firms ho ho

0:28:22I was like he looks like someone's

0:28:24grandmother she used to be so scary and

0:28:29cool and now he really looks like a

0:28:31grandma now I bet that's really not

0:28:34Richard Butler I bet that's really not

0:28:37what he was shooting for

0:28:38no I don't think anybody don't think any

0:28:40any straight man and probably not even

0:28:43any gay men are trying to look like

0:28:45grandmother's yeah um and so but but

0:28:50also but I but I'm terrified that as I

0:28:53try and take better care of myself like

0:28:56already in the last several weeks then

0:28:58the number of conversations I've had

0:29:00about my food and my health have

0:29:02skyrocketed it's fifty percent of what I

0:29:04talk about two people now even as I

0:29:07stand there saying I am I apologize that

0:29:11i'm talking about my health and my food

0:29:13right now and people like no no I'm very

0:29:15interested I'm like you can't be

0:29:17interested i have overheard a million of

0:29:20these conversations I'm embarrassed for

0:29:21myself but I really have nothing else to

0:29:23say I have nothing I have no other

0:29:26interests right now except in like my

0:29:29food intake and my and the energy that

0:29:33that it that my body is turning that

0:29:36food into and I'm so embarrassed I'm

0:29:40embarrassed for myself I used to talk

0:29:43about so many things

0:29:45the world domination striking fear into

0:29:47the hearts of villagers and now i'm just

0:29:49like quinoa quinoa this is your baby

0:29:55you're having a latent period maybe

0:29:56you're just taking a little bit of time

0:29:57off from affairs of the day

0:30:00yeah yeah okay yeah I great is it is

0:30:02super boring to hear it I hear myself

0:30:04talking about you know the other day I

0:30:05realized you know is I was where the

0:30:07same thing

0:30:08and I want to pick up my daughter at

0:30:10school and I kind of went through my

0:30:13head that I probably should have worn

0:30:16something else that i showed up at

0:30:19school and I looked like I look so silly

0:30:23i was bringing anything like a

0:30:25five-year-old boy like a five-year-old

0:30:27boy was 50 really give that a minute so

0:30:31i think that's the Russell Simmons act

0:30:34right addresses confessing later he'll

0:30:36fit now that I had I i really need a

0:30:38haircut

0:30:39I hadn't shaved in a couple days since

0:30:42then I clean some of this stuff up but I

0:30:43i still need a haircut but I showed up

0:30:45by my hair was too i think i'd take a

0:30:46nap and I woke up and I had to scurry

0:30:49and I pulled on a pair of 34 thirties

0:30:53that haven't really had the full effect

0:30:56they had blown out knees blowing out

0:30:58right pocket to wear my plan underwear

0:31:00was sticking out and for some reason I

0:31:02guess I white my left hand right hand

0:31:04I've read my right hand on my leg a lot

0:31:06because that's what that's a pattern now

0:31:07there's like a a roan kind of patch of

0:31:11former hand dander on my pants and I

0:31:15think I had the presence of mind I

0:31:16didn't put on the purple high-top tennis

0:31:17shoes i think i put on remember the dad

0:31:19shoes I got remember those keen walking

0:31:21shoes everybody made fun of my god i was

0:31:23wearing the dad shoes with blown-out

0:31:25blue jeans plaid underwear and what I'm

0:31:28wearing right now

0:31:28fantastic four short number one the old

0:31:30one and I show up there with a backpack

0:31:32and a rattle look at i got a handheld

0:31:39video game and like what are you doing

0:31:43here

0:31:43you're almost 47 like that's like a no I

0:31:47don't want to overthink this stuff and

0:31:48so the next day want to pick her up

0:31:50I wore khaki pants and I were khaki

0:31:54pants and I War I think I war or that's

0:32:00called the the desert cheese that you

0:32:02are no chuckles yeah

0:32:04clarks I with parents brothers dark dark

0:32:06brown Clark's and as I yeah what do you

0:32:08think huh

0:32:09she's like yeah then look like you is

0:32:12like a parents in court but well i'm

0:32:15finding like I went to bumbershoot and I

0:32:17was wearing my white linen

0:32:21a like my coolest white linen pains to

0:32:25this event because i was i was going to

0:32:28be interviewed on stage a couple of

0:32:29times and I you know and it was a hot

0:32:31very hot day and I wanted to like

0:32:32represent some white linen on the

0:32:36fairgrounds because everybody in seattle

0:32:38is going to be wearing the exact same

0:32:39you know the exact same outfit of Levi's

0:32:42535 jeans or whatever the help and so

0:32:46they take some pictures of me and they

0:32:48posted on the brooklyn vegan website and

0:32:51the first comment like Brooklyn Vegan

0:32:53always treats me really well they're

0:32:55great website of indie rock fans but

0:32:58they have the shittiest New York Stock

0:33:00new york-based commenters and the first

0:33:04comment is nice dockers dude thanks for

0:33:09taking the time and I'm like I'm like at

0:33:13the time what about what I slid into

0:33:16soccer

0:33:17my takeaway was that it no longer

0:33:19matters what I wear to a to a

0:33:23twenty-six-year-old if they look like

0:33:25dockers like a twenty-six-year-old from

0:33:28now until eternity is going to be able

0:33:30to slay me by just saying nice doctors

0:33:33dude

0:33:34yes you arguing back is going to be like

0:33:36no that wasn't on NBC it was on the

0:33:38Dumont Network distinction do because

0:33:41there's no arguing there's no saying

0:33:43like get a life like a fucking my pic

0:33:46nice dockers dude is end is the end of

0:33:49the story it was the first comment and

0:33:53at and as much as as much as I want to

0:33:56while that guy is sleeping like find out

0:33:58where he lives

0:33:58show up at his like miserable studio

0:34:01apartment in Williamsburg with me

0:34:03sharing with four people kick down the

0:34:06door in the middle of the night

0:34:07tell his three screaming roommates shut

0:34:10up and sit in the corner while I

0:34:11flamethrower him with a world war two

0:34:16airplane door and as he's sitting

0:34:18there's no screaming and burning just be

0:34:21like nice doctors too

0:34:23as much as I want to do that course like

0:34:25that's that is all that is a waste of my

0:34:27that is a waste of my resources and

0:34:29Savior miles but but I'm you know I do

0:34:33not want to do not want to go the rest

0:34:35of my life and be wearing you know and

0:34:38increasingly be trying to wear like

0:34:41purple nylon parachute pants just to

0:34:45avoid the nice doctors did comment and

0:34:48then still be completely vulnerable to

0:34:49it like I could be wearing I could be

0:34:51wearing harlequin pans palio cheap ants

0:34:54and some to know

0:34:57twenty-seven-year-old be like nice

0:34:58doctors dude and it's just the it's over

0:35:00because that is the like that is

0:35:04shorthand for you you are too old to be

0:35:07here it is

0:35:09you're too old to be on brooklyn vegan

0:35:10we're both facing something that we only

0:35:14ever saw before from a remove which is

0:35:16when men and women reach an age where

0:35:19they became what they become

0:35:20non-combatants in the game of youth you

0:35:23know and so I think I i think one reason

0:35:25that middle-aged guys especially

0:35:27libidinous middle-aged guys get so

0:35:29fucking weird is it suddenly dawns on

0:35:33them that young girls are not thinking

0:35:35about them like not even like thinking

0:35:38about not looking at anything and then

0:35:40if they do it's it's not your believe me

0:35:43they're not thinking about that they're

0:35:45not they're not done you know and it

0:35:47unless it is some kind of like like one

0:35:49of those freaky gold digger type

0:35:50situations where the creepy old guy and

0:35:52a you know a gal who wants a place to

0:35:56live or something like like cool girls

0:35:58are not looking at us

0:36:00it's and I think for a lot of guys that

0:36:01is extremely hard to accept

0:36:05yeah I don't think that's true with you

0:36:07here but we really are where we have

0:36:09fallen off the radar screen what worries

0:36:10me talk about the purple Polly actually

0:36:12a parachute pants I I'll I think about

0:36:16when I was young and I would say we

0:36:18could see some movies you go and watch

0:36:19you know actors and especially actresses

0:36:22who were once considered very beautiful

0:36:23and maybe that was their primary thing

0:36:25where they obviously lost track of what

0:36:27they actually look like now

0:36:28yeah yeah and they there's something

0:36:30about you know your vision changes over

0:36:31time you actually see things more sepia

0:36:33as you get older because of the cataract

0:36:35out what happen

0:36:36your eyes you think see things more

0:36:37brightly when you're young it's true and

0:36:39and so that's their lipstick starts

0:36:41looking more orange and everything's

0:36:43class xi and they're there they got the

0:36:46zany feet sticking out of their fancy

0:36:48shows any fees when you don't talk about

0:36:50that injection that good for you a for

0:36:52effort but you know it's okay if you

0:36:54wear something more age-appropriate and

0:36:56that's why I started to think more about

0:36:57age-appropriate not doing anything about

0:36:59it but well that's that's that's what

0:37:01that's what's going on with these wide

0:37:02well corduroys see I refuse I refuse to

0:37:05allow because there's a there's a

0:37:07there's a strange component in women

0:37:11yeah where I hear that yes there is and

0:37:16uh and it is that a that older men are

0:37:21inexplicably attracted to be attractive

0:37:23to younger women because they have some

0:37:28set of some sort of quality some

0:37:31inevitable set of like father like a

0:37:35talent that young women admire so I do

0:37:40not allow that they are not continuing

0:37:44to look at me but they're there but

0:37:47they're looking at me

0:37:48they're looking in a different way whoo

0:37:50& and honestly when I was 24

0:37:53they looked at me only with contempt and

0:37:55derision so that in some ways this is my

0:37:58it's always been a complicated matter

0:38:00for you

0:38:00yeah now I'm finally I am finally

0:38:02blooming into the sort of pedagogical

0:38:06sex father role that I have that a train

0:38:13the whole life for this is my early

0:38:15twenties you know they were just they

0:38:16were like they did say I was I was

0:38:19forever alone and but but my own vanity

0:38:26is so much I mean it was always

0:38:31complicated but it's it's so much more

0:38:33complicated now that i am that I'm

0:38:37conscious of this is the thing out there

0:38:39i think there are a lot of older guys

0:38:40are like well you know uh I am sexually

0:38:44attractive to younger women and i'm

0:38:48going to exploit that

0:38:49fact and be be creepier be but not

0:38:56creepy but the be predatory and I still

0:39:02want you know this is the amazing thing

0:39:04about getting older you do not feel you

0:39:07still feel you still feel young and I

0:39:09mean I remember my dad said actually

0:39:11entitled to be young

0:39:12yeah well my dad was 87 he was like two

0:39:14terrible thing about it is that you can

0:39:17old and you still feel young and I was

0:39:20like oh that's really pathetic be old

0:39:27and he was like fuck you

0:39:31but now I'm time now I'm standing in the

0:39:35one in the doorway of it and I'm like oh

0:39:38right like i do not want to be predatory

0:39:42I want to be appreciated and I want to

0:39:45also be age-appropriate and and I want

0:39:50those if i'm going to have if i'm going

0:39:53to have pedagogical relationships i want

0:39:56them to be appropriate I want them to be

0:39:59I want everybody to agree like yes I am

0:40:03sexually appealing i am a middle-aged

0:40:07man who knows some things a lot and John

0:40:10I don't know why but a lot of women are

0:40:11attracted to you

0:40:12it's very it's very strange i've seen it

0:40:15since want to talk about it it's

0:40:17fantastic some people like others

0:40:19there's one lady fallen tumblr who likes

0:40:20your beard LLC is a beard

0:40:23it's so soft and the and the thing was

0:40:25that you know i have described myself as

0:40:27a young person being more or less like

0:40:30an uncooked scallop that was left in the

0:40:32Sun um and uh those were hard times

0:40:38those were does reduce paying times

0:40:41because inside I knew that I was I that

0:40:44I was I was a swashbuckler and that all

0:40:47of these likes young dark intense guys

0:40:51were you know we're just empty shells or

0:40:56whatever they were you know they were

0:40:57peanuts in the mix nut can of life and I

0:41:01was a

0:41:02filbert or better but i but i but but

0:41:07now I'm you know I'm confronting it all

0:41:10because so the picture is socially there

0:41:12are all these kind of a middle-aged guy

0:41:16who is who is appealing to younger women

0:41:18is also appealing to older women and

0:41:22everybody's mad

0:41:24everybody's mad at me already for other

0:41:27reasons but then that you add this

0:41:30component in and everybody gets extra

0:41:31mad like other guys are mad

0:41:34everybody's mad all the time because of

0:41:37your pedagogy but yeah because it to go

0:41:41G that you exuded because the silver fox

0:41:43is a is a caricature and a lot of a lot

0:41:48of guys that that grow into their looks

0:41:51and grow into their their appeal are uh

0:41:55are not very interesting ultimately or

0:41:59you know what I mean like they are

0:42:00they're kind of their it's it is an

0:42:03exploitative think it I think a lot

0:42:06skies III don't know I can follow this

0:42:08and I think a lot of guys just get a

0:42:09different kind of stick and you know

0:42:11maybe become like that's it just almost

0:42:13everything that deviates from the norm

0:42:15starts to reduce creepy when L like you

0:42:18know some rings you know tomorrow o

0:42:21people to that why did you even say that

0:42:24I know I know I know I'm are now i'm

0:42:27sitting on a porcupine again but for

0:42:28different bringing up with that too but

0:42:30you know but this is the thing this is

0:42:31my challenge like I want to enjoy being

0:42:34appreciated let's say that and I thought

0:42:36and I and I don't want to enjoy being

0:42:39appreciated I want to enjoy being

0:42:40appreciated and I don't want for

0:42:42everyone it's just like nature right on

0:42:43there

0:42:44yeah I don't want I don't want to say

0:42:45like because because i spent a lot of

0:42:47time saying oh miss I I don't think you

0:42:52I don't think you're really in love with

0:42:53me I think that you have unresolved you

0:42:57know and she's like uh huh and what

0:42:58walks across the room and goes home with

0:43:01the guide with a motorcycle while I'm

0:43:04sitting there trying to explain to her

0:43:05like what her what her real one a real

0:43:08problem is and now I'm like okay yeah

0:43:11sure I I accept accept your

0:43:14except your gaze that's that's really

0:43:17good of you you've really gotten yes got

0:43:20any more than that but then I look

0:43:21across the room and there's like a 37

0:43:23year old woman staring at me with a kind

0:43:24of like uh huh uh huh you got your nice

0:43:28yeah exactly and I'm like what what I'm

0:43:30just I'm just talking to my friend

0:43:33mhm she's like hmm and then you know and

0:43:37then the other guys are giving me the

0:43:38same and it's just like I listen I'm I

0:43:41this these silver fox a metals artwork

0:43:46hard 1i eye-catching you know I had no

0:43:49idea that you were dealing with this

0:43:50much

0:43:51yeah it's a lot of I've even a real

0:43:53gentleman about not bringing it up this

0:43:54you got carry this around with you all

0:43:56the time you go to the store you go to

0:43:58the sausage factory

0:43:59wherever you go you're encountering

0:44:01people who are seeing the pedagogical

0:44:03silver fox

0:44:05yeah but you want to be able to enjoy

0:44:06them enjoying it well and this is the

0:44:08thing a lot of people want to learn

0:44:10right and i want to teach and it's like

0:44:17it's like I'm a it's like them a free

0:44:21radical and I'm going around and I'm but

0:44:24I'm connecting with people some neurons

0:44:30and that it there's an open space and

0:44:35and I'm you know I'm clicking and

0:44:39clicking in i'm just imagining

0:44:40explaining to someone in a very loud bar

0:44:42if you're free why free radical radical

0:44:48she teach seminars up they got how many

0:44:52guys a little bit of money could learn

0:44:54from you

0:44:54I know jumping your white coming oh but

0:44:57this is a but I don't feel like it is

0:44:59transferable knowledge like I feel like

0:45:02some of this sky it's gotta be you gotta

0:45:04put the hours in right we got to put the

0:45:07hours in and you also have to have that

0:45:08that ineffable like like a some people

0:45:12grow out of out of there looks like you

0:45:14were describing people who are famous

0:45:16for being beautiful when they're young

0:45:18and they forget what they look like and

0:45:20they turn into these like handbags as

0:45:23they get older they turn into laundry

0:45:26acres

0:45:26and then there are people like me who

0:45:30grow into their looks as they get older

0:45:31and go from looking like an uncooked

0:45:35scallop to looking like a and like a

0:45:38mighty fur step step on the top of a are

0:45:45you as you see here today because you've

0:45:47been aware how much thought you put into

0:45:48this i'm mostly putting the thought into

0:45:52it right now let's coming out great up

0:45:56don't want to lucky you want to grow

0:45:58into your into your sausage and out of

0:46:00your schedule

0:46:00that's right yeah here he crawl out of

0:46:03your out of your scalp and you become

0:46:05interesting you know and and to whatever

0:46:09degree and this is the problem with the

0:46:11this is but this is one of the

0:46:13stereotypical gender problems which is

0:46:16that older fascinating women who have

0:46:19grown into their looks are not it like

0:46:24widely attractive to young callow men

0:46:28but there is a there is a certain

0:46:31component or certain kind of aspect to

0:46:35sex roles where like fascinating older

0:46:39men are attractive to young women

0:46:43because women young women are kind of

0:46:44more interesting the you will in this

0:46:48world who wants to learn more than young

0:46:50women who has a war to teach the old men

0:46:53it's true you see that young receptacles

0:46:57just waiting to be filled with internet

0:46:59information it's terrible but i am in it

0:47:02you know like this is the subject of so

0:47:04many angry editorials in ms magazine

0:47:10it's the subject of a lot of late 20th

0:47:13century novels it is i mean it's a trope

0:47:17it is a it is a it's something that

0:47:19people are mad at films about why it is

0:47:22what george clooney is 69 years old why

0:47:25is leading lady always 26 that can be

0:47:28real creepy it's tara parents Harris's

0:47:31forward and honoree is 90

0:47:34yeah and and they pairing with the with

0:47:37whatever that Welsh lady who's living

0:47:39with

0:47:40what's his name Michael Douglas thank

0:47:44you

0:47:44yeah but I mean that's a that's their

0:47:46actual relationship i mean there they

0:47:48are in a relationship together and

0:47:50there's a page but you might see more of

0:47:52those than I do

0:47:54I don't know I I mean more of the angry

0:47:57editorials are more of the film's yeah i

0:47:59guess for the relationships just want to

0:48:02avoid the whole thing to see this is why

0:48:05we haven't talked about it because i

0:48:06know that it makes you no no it's I'm

0:48:08learning a lot

0:48:09I don't I hadn't thought of myself as a

0:48:11silver fox

0:48:12yes um well because you are happily

0:48:15married and so when you get be approving

0:48:18looks I'm sure you deflect them or you

0:48:22unconsciously it's like five things

0:48:24wrong with that I don't get those really

0:48:27hey I know I think I'm much more

0:48:28attractive to men in their late twenties

0:48:31oh right ok no no not that way

0:48:34no I know what you mean though I know

0:48:36what you mean I practically my comic the

0:48:38Marilyn Monroe nerds in some ways yeah

0:48:40they they all

0:48:41yeah this is fine i mean that's that's

0:48:43great that's really that's that that's

0:48:44awesome i mean boy am I couldn't ask for

0:48:46more

0:48:47I yeah I just can't take that much

0:48:50libido my life I i I'm so grateful

0:48:53yeah its opinion I don't know how you do

0:48:55it it's just always there right it's

0:48:57always it's something we're like one of

0:48:59the bathroom like you're always gonna

0:48:59have to go again and the of the libido

0:49:02just builds right back up i like it like

0:49:03a great royal insist

0:49:05yeah well part of it is that I you know

0:49:10I I walk around like mid-period John

0:49:14Wayne you know I kind of like heck hold

0:49:16my arms out a little bit in in case you

0:49:19run into a wall case i need to draw my

0:49:22my oh it's like fire like Justin Worley

0:49:26he's really really drunk and if the

0:49:27American there's a little bit of that

0:49:29laughs at this talk to a party last

0:49:31night I i went all the way to the end

0:49:33and I'm with it

0:49:35I'm with this crowd of like you know

0:49:38like local liberal activist engaged rich

0:49:43mafioso mafiosi

0:49:49and everybody's shit faced and they're

0:49:54not just shitfaced on liquor they're

0:49:56like shit faced on pills and liquor and

0:50:01we're sitting around it's like it

0:50:02chaplaincy the netbook it's fucking

0:50:04terrible

0:50:05we're sitting around a table in there

0:50:07and it's and it's all really really

0:50:08expensive liquor to all these these

0:50:10bottles that have like handmade labels

0:50:14it's like oh this is one of one of a

0:50:18hundred bottles of this this cask and

0:50:23what it's going to say was a fundraiser

0:50:25this is like a strategic meeting was

0:50:27more like having fun hanging out and

0:50:29make a little money for the cause

0:50:30well it's a fundraiser but it's very

0:50:31early in the game and so it was a

0:50:34strategic meeting at this the the the

0:50:37candidate who was at this party went

0:50:39around and pointed out all the other

0:50:42elected officials that were in the room

0:50:45and it was probably seventy seventy

0:50:51percent of the 70 people there were

0:50:55elected officials in Washington state

0:50:58including like high like high

0:51:01mucky-mucks like prosecutors and big big

0:51:05wheels and then there were you know 20

0:51:08of us who were local the people local

0:51:16local normals are local tattoo taste and

0:51:21and money developer people and so the

0:51:26candidates all bail or the you know the

0:51:29politicians have to get out of there

0:51:31they made their appearance and then the

0:51:34rest of us are sitting around and it's

0:51:35like oh you're the guy that runs that

0:51:37oh you're the guy that runs that we're

0:51:39sitting around and everybody's fucked up

0:51:40and be a little by little they they peel

0:51:43off until there's just this this group

0:51:45around the table and it is at this point

0:51:47like a planning session except everybody

0:51:51so i can loaded and I'm sitting there at

0:51:54the table i'm the only one that's sober

0:51:56but if you if you pan the camera back my

0:52:00body language

0:52:02is I and I became conscious of this like

0:52:06I kind of zoomed out I was like you look

0:52:10like the most fucked-up of all of them

0:52:13like i was slouching in my chair leaning

0:52:16on the leading on the table and half on

0:52:18my hand with one foot up on a potted

0:52:20plant my eyes half-closed slurring my

0:52:25words almost in the in partly in a sin

0:52:29like sympathetic imitation of everybody

0:52:34else had a contact speech impediment

0:52:35right but also i'm i'm i'm most

0:52:41comfortable in that it like where the

0:52:45inhibitions where everybody's

0:52:47inhibitions are so far in the rearview

0:52:50mirror that were that we are seconds

0:52:53away from just tumbling into bed with

0:52:55each other you know I'm lying I'm kind

0:52:57of lying on this table like listen

0:53:00here's what you fuckers need to

0:53:02understand about metro and how it

0:53:08interacts with the sewer system and I'm

0:53:13like why am i why am I Oh what is that

0:53:16why I sound like John Wayne at that

0:53:18commencement the 1968 come commencement

0:53:22who is against Vietnam I don't

0:53:25understand it

0:53:27how could you be against America on says

0:53:30for clapping up and I and I realize like

0:53:34this is this is what you get to that

0:53:37point and that's cut that's kind of what

0:53:40who I really am the rest of the time my

0:53:43my by a my clearer speech and my clearer

0:53:47main it's all just it's it's all just

0:53:53drag it's like straight World drag

0:53:55really what I would really rather be

0:53:57doing is have one hand down the front of

0:53:58my pants and be yelling at somebody

0:54:01about about the school district

0:54:05that's that's when you're in your

0:54:07element

0:54:08yeah yelling yelling it yelling at some

0:54:10state legislature about uh about

0:54:13earmarks with my pants off before i fall

0:54:20i like every time I thought but

0:54:22sometimes don't you get a little weary

0:54:25of being around too intoxicated people

0:54:29does not get on your nerves after awhile

0:54:31I didn't get that feeling

0:54:33ninety-nine percent of the time it does

0:54:34because ninety nine percent of the time

0:54:36people get shit-faced and all they have

0:54:37to talk about is their record

0:54:39collections you know but this end as

0:54:43opposed to millage since that this group

0:54:47of guys it they are that you know

0:54:53they're talking about millions of

0:54:54dollars and and war realms of influence

0:54:59and the more fucked up they get that

0:55:03they just want to talk more and more

0:55:04about the world that they live in which

0:55:06is this world of like the guys from

0:55:09bellagio want to come up and make an

0:55:12investment in this bridge project that's

0:55:17like wait a minute what did you just say

0:55:19the guys from bellagio why do they want

0:55:21to make an investment in this bridge

0:55:23project oh because the you know the

0:55:26there's a lot of money in these big

0:55:31construction projects and I'm like oh

0:55:33right of course there is

0:55:35haha up so the more drunk these guys get

0:55:38and fucked up they they get like the

0:55:41more interesting the conversation gets

0:55:43in a way because their guard drops and

0:55:46then you're talking about some like

0:55:48crazy crazy shit that you know it's

0:55:52never going to make it into the

0:55:53newspaper and unless it's the topic of a

0:55:55federal indictment so setting aside the

0:55:57chili peppers when you get home for an

0:56:00event like that you feel like it was a

0:56:01night well spent

0:56:03I can't tell because this is the this is

0:56:10what I've been experiencing the last

0:56:12year of getting more and more involved

0:56:13in local politics is that I feel at a

0:56:16certain point out of my depth and I'm

0:56:19not used to feeling out of my depth and

0:56:21growing up in a bit with politicians all

0:56:25around

0:56:26I I got used to i got used to

0:56:32interacting out at a surface level with

0:56:36this kind of business and feeling and I

0:56:39guess made the mistake of feeling like

0:56:42if you can talk the talk and if you are

0:56:46chummy with everybody

0:56:49then all these deals just kind of get

0:56:50made and everybody wins and even looking

0:56:54at my dad's life and and my uncle's life

0:56:57and the people that I know who felt like

0:56:59they had been miss dealt time and time

0:57:02again you know my dad always complained

0:57:05about not being ruthless enough it it

0:57:09was his it was his main it was it wasn't

0:57:11a thing he didn't want to be more

0:57:12ruthless he just he just was continually

0:57:16surprised that at the moment when the

0:57:19deal was done and everybody was shaking

0:57:21hands

0:57:22there was always somebody there with a

0:57:24with a knife in the gut and in the end

0:57:27the thing gets taken away or the

0:57:29percentage gets reduced or the you know

0:57:32it's like oh I'm glad we signed this but

0:57:35right before i sign i just wanna I just

0:57:37wanted to insert one really minor little

0:57:41thing that is going to change the nature

0:57:43of this deal and take everybody for a

0:57:45ride you know like that aspect of it

0:57:48my dad rude it and so here i am now like

0:57:53dipping my toes in the water in my

0:57:55mid-forties after years of working in a

0:57:58scummy business the music business but

0:58:02also feeling like time and time again

0:58:03not that I got not that I was rooked but

0:58:07that my nature is such that when

0:58:09somebody says all right great

0:58:11there it is there's the deal I I relax

0:58:15too soon

0:58:16I go great

0:58:17alright we've got a deal shake on it and

0:58:20then you'd then I'm not watching out

0:58:22when two weeks later an invoice comes

0:58:27for all this you know like oh well they

0:58:31were set up charges and then we had to

0:58:33pay the other things like your burglar

0:58:34alarm

0:58:35exactly and in in as I could deep as i

0:58:40could dip into local politics i realized

0:58:42that what what's has seemed to me in 30

0:58:46years of reading the Daily newspaper as

0:58:48like well that's a simple matter you

0:58:50just get the guys from the waterfront

0:58:51down there and you get the guys from the

0:58:53shipping companies and you put them all

0:58:55in a room and use strike a deal like

0:58:58yeah except the guys from bellagio have

0:59:05an interest in the project and all of a

0:59:08sudden there's a guy from the Army Corps

0:59:10of Engineers here and what the hell is

0:59:11he doing here and nobody's nobody's

0:59:15acknowledging him but I but like a the

0:59:22Chairman looks over at him and he

0:59:25imperceptibly nods and then the Chairman

0:59:29calls a recess you know like all this

0:59:32type of stuff we're like well now when

0:59:34will while I thought we were all thought

0:59:37we had a deal and so I feel out of my

0:59:40depth and people now are starting to say

0:59:43things to me like um there's something

0:59:47in this for you if you back this project

0:59:52because I don't

0:59:54yeah and I don't know to what degree

0:59:55this is the thing when i look at my own

0:59:58voice and

0:59:58voice and

1:00:00own influence in seattle i have a pretty

1:00:03clear idea understanding that i have no

1:00:05influence in seattle beyond like or at

1:00:12least my own perception of it is like oh

1:00:13yeah that guy he's this get people hurt

1:00:17his name but people on the other side of

1:00:21this this door are starting to appeal to

1:00:27my vanity and say listen if you come out

1:00:29in public and endorse this candidate for

1:00:33this idea then there will be a seat at

1:00:36the table for you when we start to talk

1:00:40about it or you know if if this

1:00:43candidate get selected and you are at

1:00:45the table then there will be there's a

1:00:47there's opportunity for you to have here

1:00:50have input you you're going to get

1:00:53patronage right with Colin yeah well i

1:00:58will see I'm not seeking that kind of

1:01:01patrons like I don't want a government

1:01:03job but i will but you know that but I

1:01:07have been identified by people now as

1:01:09somebody who is seeking influence or

1:01:11somebody who is who wields a certain

1:01:13amount of influence and edit and

1:01:16everybody that plays this game at a high

1:01:18level knows that people don't want to

1:01:19wield influence don't ever get enough

1:01:23you know like these the really great

1:01:26politicians could be making a fortune if

1:01:32they if any one of them just went and

1:01:34got a ya got a job at a at a major law

1:01:38firm you know I mean like that the big

1:01:40tall the big government guys here in

1:01:42Washington state they could go down to

1:01:43bogel & gates and be making 350 thousand

1:01:45dollars a year walking in the door and

1:01:47instead they're they're working for a

1:01:49hundred and ten thousand dollars a year

1:01:51as a as a government guy because when

1:01:55they walk in the room their Rockstar

1:01:56everywhere they go

1:01:58and that is the pay you know they are

1:02:01powerful people and when when you get

1:02:04identified as somebody and and and I and

1:02:07unfortunately i am one of these people

1:02:08who would sacrifice money in order to

1:02:12have influenced and its really what I

1:02:14have done my whole life my eye I want

1:02:17the I want the power and I want the

1:02:20recognition and the guys the guys who

1:02:24are like yeah you take the power and the

1:02:26recognition and i will take ten percent

1:02:28off the top of everything that gets

1:02:29built in the in this county like those

1:02:32are the guys that take a helicopter

1:02:35everywhere right because they're wetting

1:02:38your beak

1:02:39oh and all these different places right

1:02:41and so anyway I having been so now I'm

1:02:44starting to feel this like guys coming

1:02:45up to me and saying hey we're really

1:02:47glad that you're here and I'm glad that

1:02:48we can count on your voice in this

1:02:50nyquil whoa whoa hold on

1:02:53like I came to this because i am

1:02:56interested but I haven't you don't have

1:03:00endorsed anything that makes like such a

1:03:04bozo thing to say to somebody unless you

1:03:06knew I mean like it's it's almost like

1:03:08you would just assume you're trying to

1:03:10find another it sounds like they're

1:03:11trying to find this swinger just walking

1:03:13around going so you

1:03:14well yeah but then they lean in a little

1:03:15closer they're like yeah well your

1:03:19endorsement

1:03:20I you know your endorsement matters and

1:03:24if we get it then you have this you are

1:03:27invited you're invited to the to a more

1:03:32inner room

1:03:34yeah and I go oh I want you got here

1:03:38sooner than that John because what

1:03:40they're it's as well just in the sense

1:03:41that you might go to get a better deal

1:03:43you never know but also it's like when

1:03:45you join the mob and our gang and the

1:03:47first thing I do is kill somebody so

1:03:49they got something on you like they may

1:03:51be able to be able to offer you the idea

1:03:53the prospect of something that sounds

1:03:56really good and yeah maybe that will

1:03:58eventually pay off and now you owe them

1:03:59and that's the thing i know so I so I'm

1:04:03confronting the fact that I have I'm

1:04:05very comfortable being in charge and i'm

1:04:11entering a world where I'm not in charge

1:04:13and it's not it's not a corporate

1:04:18structure where the rules are clear and

1:04:21where you play by certain rules and

1:04:23there's a certain amount of intrigue but

1:04:25there's also

1:04:26dress like this is a world where you are

1:04:30not in charge

1:04:31the rules are up to and there is no

1:04:34redress of any kind like if you get if

1:04:38you get if you get 99 percent of the way

1:04:41into a deal and you get boxed out of it

1:04:43her here like you can sue them no

1:04:49because there's because they thought of

1:04:53that already first of all and second of

1:04:55all like there were aspects of the deal

1:04:57that that it's all happening on on a

1:05:00handshake and there's no you know what

1:05:02are you gonna say like oh hey i was in

1:05:04on that and then they kicked me out

1:05:05there like we never heard of this guy

1:05:07like what you know so it's like every

1:05:09high-speed it is absolutely every heist

1:05:12movie and it's how politics are played

1:05:14and in a way it's how it's how an aspect

1:05:17of its an aspect of the way cities run

1:05:19and so so I feel out of my depth i

1:05:24really do i'm in these in these

1:05:26situations i'm looking around these guys

1:05:27and I'm like some of these guys are

1:05:28tougher than me and it's not that it's

1:05:32not I mean they're tougher than me in

1:05:33the sense that if we went out into the

1:05:34parking lot I would be they they do have

1:05:38pinky rings and those picky rings are

1:05:40meant to cut you

1:05:42but but also like they're tougher than

1:05:44me like they have they have bodies

1:05:48buried all over the county and I'm I'm

1:05:54like a I'm fresh blood

1:05:57I'm a new guy that's like sniffing

1:05:58around like a I'd like to be involved in

1:06:00this local government I'd sure like to

1:06:02make the world better for the for the

1:06:04citizens of my County and I'd like to be

1:06:06engaged in the in the process

1:06:10these guys are like yeah man come on in

1:06:12and have you know have a seat at the

1:06:13table and and there's like that there's

1:06:17the smell of blood is in the room just

1:06:19like oh so what's that make you want to

1:06:23do

1:06:25what makes me want to figure it out but

1:06:29but I reflect on my father's life as a

1:06:33as a politician and one met um and I've

1:06:39watched I've watched young politicians

1:06:41that I know personally become

1:06:42middle-aged politicians around here and

1:06:44watch their gaze get Flint here and

1:06:48there smile get more like that there's

1:06:54an element of rigor mortis that comes in

1:06:57to their face and it's like oh wow some

1:07:01something is hard about them and then

1:07:03when you look at the national

1:07:04politicians you really look at them

1:07:06those candid photographs you see every

1:07:08once in a while like a u.s. senator

1:07:10that's been there for 25 years and you

1:07:13just see the like the death that's on

1:07:16them and the-the-the like the capacity

1:07:23for evil

1:07:24that's right behind their eyes and you

1:07:27go fuck like those guys even the

1:07:30gentlest even the friendly ones are

1:07:34terrifying wild animals like they think

1:07:38they've held the ring for too long

1:07:40yeah you get that what Ted Kennedy Tip

1:07:44O'Neill dick cheney name anybody in the

1:07:48Democratic Party or really politics has

1:07:50been around for a long time they get

1:07:52that that flabby too much cortisol

1:07:56stress thing plus the gin blossoms and

1:07:59it's just like oh that's that's the

1:08:00corporately behind it looks like the

1:08:02stress is what i see like that but their

1:08:04their their body and their mind their

1:08:05life has been stressed and then

1:08:07repeatedly stressed so many times just

1:08:09so that it becomes a kind of hardened

1:08:11steel like it just gets here for the

1:08:14flabbiness the tensile strength is I am

1:08:17I I feel like even the even the gentle

1:08:20ones like like barney frank or maria

1:08:23cantwell like in those you remember that

1:08:27picture of Ted Bundy that was taken in

1:08:30the courtroom where he made that

1:08:32yeah ferocious screaming face

1:08:35and he was doing he had to be doing it

1:08:38with the knowledge that he was being

1:08:39photographed and it's like this terrible

1:08:41moment where serial killers never really

1:08:45let their guard down that way and he was

1:08:47performing this kind of what does he

1:08:49will look like on his face but it really

1:08:53isn't it really is a terrible picture

1:08:55who and and I see that I see that same

1:09:01kind of scream just on the Placid faces

1:09:06of of CEOs and high-ranking government

1:09:12people where it's just like because

1:09:15these are the people that say like well

1:09:1710,000 10,000 soldiers are going to die

1:09:20during this invasion but that's the

1:09:22price of establishing this beachhead and

1:09:25you just go right i am i am not at the

1:09:31point where I could consign 10,000

1:09:33people to die with the will and feel

1:09:37confident that that was that was

1:09:39necessary and without that you can't you

1:09:44can't be in that room it's not that they

1:09:45won't invite you in that room but you

1:09:47are just food but they can smell it they

1:09:51absolutely do and I think they smell it

1:09:52on me right now here in local politics

1:09:54like I am food and they don't know they

1:09:59don't know how much food I am or how

1:10:00good I am like how tasty i am departing

1:10:03a politician is being able to quickly

1:10:07size up what it is

1:10:09somebody once is likely to want and what

1:10:12the minimum amount of it that you could

1:10:14speculatively give to them to bring them

1:10:16over to your side right that's exactly

1:10:18right whether that's a stop sign or you

1:10:22know you're going to change in village

1:10:23or whatever it is that you could you

1:10:26could really size somebody up and then

1:10:28be very warm and how you warm

1:10:31appropriately warm in the way that you

1:10:34presented to them so that they walk away

1:10:35feeling like they got the best deal in

1:10:37the world

1:10:37yeah and I feel amazing as you and trust

1:10:40you that's exactly right and i think

1:10:41that when they look at me

1:10:42their first that that their perception

1:10:46is he doesn't want

1:10:47a concession of any kind he's not trying

1:10:51to get a speed bump put in on his Street

1:10:53he's not trying to get hit his

1:10:57neighborhood school to have staggered

1:11:01opening terms or whatever like this guy

1:11:05is here because he wants to be a player

1:11:07and they had those politicians have to

1:11:10have a different way of dealing with

1:11:13people who want to be players then

1:11:16dealing with the with their constituents

1:11:18or for people who are coming trying to

1:11:21get a deal for their union you know and

1:11:24that that is why I'm that's why I'm

1:11:25nervous or that's why I'm afraid because

1:11:27I feel like showing up at these events

1:11:29wanting to be a player is like showing

1:11:33up in a hobo camp fire and San hey what

1:11:38about us hobos right right guys but just

1:11:42a bunch of hobos here like you're not a

1:11:45player if you were a player you would

1:11:48not be you would be showing up here

1:11:51looking to be a player you know they'd

1:11:52be coming to you but you know he added a

1:11:55this is just thinking about this i think

1:11:58most politicians want to win over every

1:12:00person that they meet maybe compulsively

1:12:03great not to make friends but because

1:12:05it's what they do for a living in the

1:12:06same way that somebody who is a an

1:12:09evangelist for something they believe in

1:12:11whether that's apple or I'll ron Hubbard

1:12:14wants to constantly introduce people or

1:12:16Iran was constantly introduce people to

1:12:18that they really believe it's going to

1:12:19make things better and it's going to get

1:12:20more people on their site but that's

1:12:22that's condition of life for a

1:12:23politician is that they need to minimize

1:12:25the number of people who get onto the

1:12:28other guys side

1:12:29yep and there's no jeans and the whole

1:12:31boat that thing is you never know when

1:12:33you're gonna need that hobo it sure

1:12:34would help to have like I'm or in your

1:12:35camp in somebody else's never tell you

1:12:38the time i was sitting at a time sitting

1:12:40at a table with my dad and his friend

1:12:43judge deck Jack Tanner and his his

1:12:47friend me because is his best friend of

1:12:49his characters for nemesis

1:12:51and in the room walk san francisco mayor

1:12:55willie brown and this is a dinner party

1:13:00it's a dinner to celebrate the life and

1:13:02career of Jack Tanner and Willie Brown

1:13:05the Willie Brown is at the time that the

1:13:08mayor of San Francisco and he has flown

1:13:10up to this dinner to pay his respects to

1:13:14to the judge and he you know he swooshes

1:13:21into the room and he is is $1,500

1:13:27loafers aren't even across the threshold

1:13:29of the carpet before he is shaking

1:13:32people's hands and kissing people on the

1:13:35missing women on the cheek and slapping

1:13:38people on the back and he makes his way

1:13:39across this room which is full of

1:13:41federal judges and like senators and

1:13:46government and big business people you

1:13:49know and he's walking across the room

1:13:50and he touches every single person in

1:13:53the room making his way across the room

1:13:55to say hello to the judge and you know

1:13:59this is another one of these moments

1:14:00where I'm just a GOG like wow really

1:14:04exudes charisma look at him he's you can

1:14:07tell you feel it when I've been in a

1:14:09room and Willie Brown walks in and you

1:14:10can feel it

1:14:11oh he's beautiful and I'm and my dad is

1:14:14like whoohoo holy should my dad's been

1:14:18watching politician know my dad worked

1:14:19for Kennedy rights over dad's just like

1:14:21wow and Tanner with up like a smirk on

1:14:25his face he goes yeah I look pretty good

1:14:27too and seven thousand dollar suit and

1:14:31my dad and I both look over and he's

1:14:34just furious furious when Brown how

1:14:39Willie Brown l is working his room

1:14:42okay and but also like he's here to pc

1:14:46like he's tanner is furious but also

1:14:49proud because he's here he's here for

1:14:52him a celebrity

1:14:53yeah and but he touches every single be

1:14:57touchy touches 200 people in this room

1:14:59walking across it because everybody

1:15:02wants to enterprise leaning forward just

1:15:04put their hands on

1:15:05and what would that you know what would

1:15:10that be like to live like that all the

1:15:12time and never be able to put your

1:15:15sunglasses down and never put a hoodie

1:15:18up and and run from the from the

1:15:22backstage door to the limo like he's he

1:15:25wants he and this he's not even in

1:15:28California

1:15:29well the browns and he's in seattle or

1:15:32to Coba not even Seattle he's in tacoma

1:15:35doing this and it's just like his he

1:15:37he's going to shake he's going to shake

1:15:39hands all the way to the door of the

1:15:40White House you know it's astonishing

1:15:43it's astonishing to see it and then to

1:15:47search your own like this is what I

1:15:49guess I'm doing I've always seen that

1:15:51and said yeah that could be me that's me

1:15:53i'm just not doing that right now

1:15:55because I'm because i'm too cool because

1:15:57I just you know like I'm really really

1:16:00into Radiohead right now but I could be

1:16:02the mayor of San Francisco and what I'm

1:16:04experiencing now is my my thrift store

1:16:08loafers are over the threshold of the

1:16:10carpet and I'm standing there like and

1:16:14saying to myself to I really want to go

1:16:16in this room with these people is this i

1:16:18mean is this the next thing for me to or

1:16:22do I go to the library right now and and

1:16:26brush the and brush the crumbs off of my

1:16:28wide well quarter roads and just just

1:16:31sink into my easy chair make the

1:16:34occasional cheese dip you know like yeah

1:16:36have some people over

1:16:38watch where you're basically using the

1:16:40Willie Brown Ignatius Riley that's right

1:16:44thank you and your loafers are on the

1:16:46precipice I'm right up the middle

1:16:47because my thrift store loafers are

1:16:49actually very expensive loopers than i

1:16:51thought but it's a very good deal they

1:16:53have a patina already em up but but I'm

1:16:57but i am a i'm a forty-five-year-old

1:17:00amateur in a in a in an arena where

1:17:04people have been have been sharpening

1:17:07their swords and battling with each

1:17:11other real battles all the all the years

1:17:14that I was like a

1:17:16signing t-shirts but they parted the

1:17:20prospect of becoming a little willie

1:17:22brown is is appealing to you if you can

1:17:24pull it off

1:17:25I'm hearing that correctly well it is

1:17:27because because when i think when i when

1:17:30i get when i get back out of the ego

1:17:32realm and the vanity realm and I think

1:17:35about what do I why am I here on earth

1:17:37but when I think about why are human

1:17:39beings here on earth

1:17:41all I come to is like science space

1:17:45travel figure stuff out send out probes

1:17:49go to other planets like make big

1:17:53signals sweep the sky

1:17:57you know it's it's that and a

1:18:00combination of like and do the best we

1:18:03can to to colonize the earth in a way

1:18:06that that is aesthetic and sustainable

1:18:11and i don't mean sustainable it with all

1:18:14the booths all the hippie baggage but

1:18:16like duh sustainable right like don't

1:18:18drown in your own shit I so colonize the

1:18:23planet and make it a make it of you know

1:18:25supertrain it guy Obama to make it as

1:18:28perfect a thing as you can make it as

1:18:33perfect a base as you can and then probe

1:18:36the universe and when i when i get out

1:18:40of my ego world

1:18:42personally I say what am I here to do if

1:18:47not to do that here to make my corner of

1:18:52this all better and how to do that how

1:19:01to do that without having hundreds of

1:19:03millions of dollars of resources how to

1:19:08do that with the with your primary

1:19:10resources being your personality your

1:19:12intellect and your industry like

1:19:18government is certain

1:19:22the one of a handful of viable ways to

1:19:25make it to make a profound difference

1:19:26and so I'm drawn to it

1:19:30I'm drawn to it the the power aspect of

1:19:33it is my weakness but it's also power

1:19:38that I that I would hope to use tu to

1:19:44gaya bomb this this little you know the

1:19:48the little corner of it that I could

1:19:50affect it is that it is the altruistic

1:19:58the core of what I think life is why I

1:20:04think life has value of my life

1:20:08so how to do it without having the ring

1:20:10destroy yeah and it's anyone watching it

1:20:14watching it destroy people that I

1:20:16recognize are even stronger than I am

1:20:19that's gonna be tough it is going to put

1:20:21that racket does it is what it does and

1:20:24yet you can look at people and say wow

1:20:28that person really made a difference

1:20:29there wouldn't be there wouldn't be

1:20:34I mean there are so many things that

1:20:38were that were the product of someone's

1:20:41imagination and someone's industry and

1:20:43and dealing you know the dealing and the

1:20:47someone needs to stride ahead and say

1:20:50follow me and to whatever degree to

1:20:58whatever degree r.r our contemporary

1:21:00idea of what democracy looks like is

1:21:04suspicious of the person that says

1:21:06follow me

1:21:07I believe in that model you know I

1:21:10believe that there are people that I

1:21:12mean I follow people all the time and I

1:21:15think everybody wants to

1:21:18and I'd like to you know I was thinking

1:21:21the other day about this about what it

1:21:24would take it is not without it is not

1:21:26outside of my capabilities to put

1:21:29together a team of people who develop a

1:21:33prototype of a refrigerator-sized

1:21:35appliance that sits next to your

1:21:38refrigerator in in everyone's home and

1:21:41it is like a home super train and you

1:21:45just you feed your you feed your garbage

1:21:51into this box and it produces you know

1:21:58it refines it in your home and then you

1:22:02have all different vertical that John

1:22:03thats you got to really be wheeling and

1:22:06dealing you're dealing with the

1:22:07utilities you got the mineral rights

1:22:10people you certainly got that recycling

1:22:12racket you gotta deal with I mean that's

1:22:14a lot if if you put that in front of the

1:22:16Train that's gonna be you got to talk

1:22:18about politics my friend absolutely one

1:22:21waiting so I'm watching it happen now

1:22:22with the uber car service here in

1:22:24Seattle together I scared everybody

1:22:27scared and and the taxi and limo

1:22:30commissions of every major city in the

1:22:33United States of America there are very

1:22:35powerful lobby talk about being in the

1:22:37olive oil business

1:22:38those are some tough guys and they've

1:22:41been paying some user easiest axes

1:22:44insurance insurance and insurance and

1:22:46crazy and all those little medallions

1:22:48that they have to staple on the battle

1:22:49system like it's 102 thousand bucks to

1:22:52get him down and it's like a liquor

1:22:53license lottery

1:22:54yeah and now over comes along they're

1:22:56like hey we've got a good idea what

1:22:57about it for everybody just did this

1:22:59from their smartphone cannot even matter

1:23:00Kelly ever got a way to get the pink

1:23:02mustache cars there

1:23:04yeah what the hell are those it's a

1:23:05ride-sharing oh my god i hate those

1:23:08stadium to its it yeah it's like Mary

1:23:10Kay cars or something

1:23:11it's a bit if I was I would not join

1:23:13that service person because of those but

1:23:15those little had a beard now

1:23:18nope do not do did you not fake facial

1:23:22hair on your car

1:23:23yeah I mean there's already are a little

1:23:26bit like we already kind of give them

1:23:29too much too much humanity

1:23:31do not start dressing them like their

1:23:34little dogs but do you guys have got car

1:23:37to goes I don't know we definitely

1:23:40Boober we've got the others share to go

1:23:42system which is like some company bought

1:23:4610,000 of those little smart cars

1:23:49painted them blue and white and park

1:23:53them all over the city i'll look at that

1:23:55bike situation

1:23:56yeah and if you if you join this a

1:23:58car2go system you're just walking along

1:24:00you're like I think I want to drive a

1:24:01cost so it's even more informal than zip

1:24:04yeah you go on your phone you're like

1:24:06well there's one around the corner you

1:24:07go over you get in it and you drive it

1:24:09somewhere and get out and you leave it

1:24:11and it's so it's so interesting almost

1:24:15revolutionary ideas whether it's

1:24:16shooting people in tubes or having

1:24:18moving sidewalks are based on this idea

1:24:20that you have to change the

1:24:21infrastructure is interesting that the

1:24:23most disruptive technologies are how to

1:24:26game the legal system really were you

1:24:29know me nor that licensing system

1:24:31however you want to think of it as

1:24:32opposed to changing the infrastructure

1:24:33that you're right on yeah right i mean

1:24:36nobody nobody is saying like let's bless

1:24:38build a maglev cars they're just like

1:24:41you can drive this car whenever you want

1:24:42to just leave it and probably there and

1:24:45this is the great thing about it's like

1:24:46probably there will be another one when

1:24:49you want to get in a car later be great

1:24:51for robbing banks would be amazing why

1:24:54Jason and i were thinking one of these

1:24:57days we should just get like 80 people

1:25:00and we should all just drive all the car

1:25:04to goes out to the very edge of the

1:25:07county and like have a have a

1:25:1015-passenger van drives us all back in

1:25:12it down and then does it again it does

1:25:14does it three or four times until

1:25:15there's like a hundred and fifty of

1:25:17these cars are parked at of on a farm

1:25:20somewhere to be disturbing that would be

1:25:22hilarious but come on you're going to

1:25:25you if you're going to get 80 people

1:25:26together on a project wife is a

1:25:28politician can be fucking her to conquer

1:25:30but i watch the Super situation i'm like

1:25:32right I see the taxi and limo people and

1:25:34the city government struggling to to

1:25:38figure out I mean and and and being

1:25:40violently opposed to this new this

1:25:42interloper

1:25:43but on the other hand i watch my friends

1:25:44use

1:25:45burr and it's like it's a genius a

1:25:48evolution of the concept and every taxi

1:25:52in the country should be some inaudible

1:25:53bye-bye cell phone that's the obvious

1:25:56answer is to get I mean like at least

1:25:58where i live the I call uber and pay

1:26:00twice as much because it'll come it'll

1:26:02show up and with taxis the calling for

1:26:04taxi around here doesn't mean a lot

1:26:06because if they get this bit essential

1:26:08dispatch place they have no skin in the

1:26:09game

1:26:10don't actually show up and whoever gets

1:26:12called out if they find a fair along the

1:26:13way its way cheaper and more efficient

1:26:15for them just grab that fair to drag

1:26:17your ass out to my neighborhood

1:26:18yeah it's like calling for a taxi out

1:26:20your window yeah yeah but you know if

1:26:23you if they would just get their shit

1:26:25together with you know having an actual

1:26:27taxes i would use taxis more I don't

1:26:29like paying for a taxi but i really hate

1:26:31paying for a taxi an hour and a half

1:26:32after it was supposed to be there

1:26:34yeah that's that that's the difference

1:26:35disruptive right now I'm so I've been

1:26:42looking for a car for like I don't know

1:26:45eight years said it and here's here at

1:26:49perpetual class 4a card I am

1:26:51here's what I have open in tabs across

1:26:54the top of my computer

1:26:56I've in 1987 four-wheel-drive GMC rally

1:27:01one ton van 6700 dollars in room it's a

1:27:08four-wheel-drive van i have as 1967

1:27:12chevy suburban price unlisted my guy you

1:27:18the guy has an Alaska phone number as

1:27:20close it and his name is shane i have a

1:27:241966 more picture exactly

1:27:27I've in 1965 plymouth fury 34 door and

1:27:35this is one of this one where he spells

1:27:38are the word original Oregon ille or

1:27:40organ any enemy al organi l

1:27:44all i know is its all or oregon the AL

1:27:47won't be disappointed won't last long

1:27:49lean toward well I'm not done yet 1965

1:27:54Corvair four-door isn't that unsafe at

1:27:57any speed

1:27:58that's right but but it appeals to me

1:28:01this one is this one is like 48 years

1:28:04old or something I mean I I feel like I

1:28:06I feel like it survived this long a

1:28:10Volvo 1967 volvo amazon wagon on 22's

1:28:15and a nineteen eighty cadillac brougham

1:28:18red with a white vinyl top and white

1:28:22leather interior

1:28:23those are the cars that I'm that today i

1:28:26am considering and honestly

1:28:28oh wait there's one more 1967 1967

1:28:34cadillac fleetwood 60 special 5500

1:28:37dollars 5500 now what which of these

1:28:41cars which of these cars should I should

1:28:44I zero in on

1:28:45oh and the the four-wheel-drive van is

1:28:49pretty sweet all the silly they're gonna

1:28:50be pretty terrible with gas

1:28:52well yeah okay as long as you're okay

1:28:54with that but that didn't happen to be

1:28:56burning gas i'm going to be putting gas

1:28:58in these things with a pale the the

1:29:03turbo creepiness of a giant white van

1:29:05this is kind of appealing

1:29:06yeah we'll drive that be handy

1:29:08four-wheel drive and that's the

1:29:10absolutely one of the coolest zombie

1:29:12apocalypse cars I've ever seen like it

1:29:16has a it has like up like a welded steel

1:29:19roof rack it's a real i mean you can put

1:29:2350 caliber machine gun on top of it no

1:29:25problem but but then that 65 plymouth is

1:29:30like the kind of car that that if if if

1:29:35there was an an impact on the outskirts

1:29:38of town and and people had been people

1:29:42were kind of gathering around it and

1:29:44there were a couple of National

1:29:44Guardsmen there and there was like a

1:29:46half-buried glowing meat-eor and then a

1:29:51little door open on the top right about

1:29:54that moment

1:29:56four guys in black suits driving the 65

1:29:59plymouth would drive up all wearing

1:30:02sunglasses and then uh no one there

1:30:05would remember anything having happened

1:30:07ok got it talk to some of your rich

1:30:09political buddies you get a little bit

1:30:12of funding you buy them all by mall and

1:30:15you're gonna have a cool car service

1:30:16where you can have a cool car and pick

1:30:18it up around town haha put a pink

1:30:22mustache on it's like cool car kumar

1:30:25remya Hillerman stretch the pink Hitler

1:30:27mustache

1:30:31I'll haha the taxi you can finally hi