0:00:00hi John how's it going good it's going
0:00:18to say why that's funny
0:00:19mm-hmm I thought of course you can
0:00:23yeah i think that we I think that we
0:00:25should reference yesterday multiple
0:00:28times but no no I just died bloop to you
0:00:31on skype as a joke because i was you
0:00:34know I've been remarked about how you
0:00:36can clear your throat at the top of the
0:00:38episode as you say so i think my exact
0:00:40quote was clear throat before we go
0:00:42uh-oh i saved it for you don't want to
0:00:47hear all the little rabbit babies that I
0:00:50was keeping in my chief what's that from
0:00:53this disease came up with that guy you
0:00:57should write songs are good ones you
0:01:00well whichever dinning well it's a good
0:01:02question i thank you i'm still wandering
0:01:06around in a kind of the good carbonless
0:01:08days and I was sitting here at my house
0:01:13and I was just like I don't I don't I
0:01:15can't imagine another meat entree that
0:01:20that is it going to just make me despair
0:01:23like all i want all i wanted spaghetti
0:01:27with cookies on it
0:01:30god I've never thought of that until you
0:01:34just said it and that sounds so good
0:01:36does it's a writ would be a real
0:01:37carbo-load but then I looked in the
0:01:40refrigerator and I realized that I had
0:01:42made a stew a carbonless too and i had
0:01:47also roasted a beef o like a rib roast
0:01:52like a roast I had made a roast beef ooh
0:01:54that sounds delicious
0:01:57it does and it is but I don't have a
0:02:00meat slicer and I realized that at least
0:02:04half of the enjoyment i get out of roast
0:02:06beef is out of the the the thinness of
0:02:10the slices of the beef is
0:02:12is that right now yeah it was it was
0:02:15like a rib roast or what kind of a roast
0:02:17did you make it was a couple of sirloin
0:02:19roast it was like permit no no it was a
0:02:23it was a bit of beef the beef but me to
0:02:26give you the beef idea i'm just trying
0:02:27to figure out which so you like a thin
0:02:29cut you like a traditional roast beef
0:02:31then slice
0:02:32yeah rare rare cook and very thinly
0:02:35sliced and then of course on a on a
0:02:37fresh french roll but i can't have that
0:02:39see that's how they get you
0:02:41yes so delicious yeah so I do i ate the
0:02:44rest of the Stu I'm feelin better
0:02:46I'm feeling less like a like a like
0:02:50diving into a swimming pool size
0:02:52strawberry shortcake
0:02:54I'm just I'm just getting by you know it
0:02:57is not it's not torment at all it's just
0:03:00a constant feeling of being of not
0:03:03knowing what's not not going how to live
0:03:06because if it's because of this this
0:03:10this bizarre simulacrum of a life that
0:03:12you've been living all these years I've
0:03:14been I've been I've been hopping from
0:03:15from shortcake to shortcake like a frog
0:03:19or some afraid to and now now I'm this
0:03:24person who's like I can eat any any meat
0:03:26i want and it's I'm it's all delicious
0:03:28and after after a weekend like meat is
0:03:30the most boring food isn't it see it's
0:03:32just the way it's like having a steady
0:03:33girlfriend I I don't know this is useful
0:03:36at all
0:03:36you've probably already discovered that
0:03:37you might be repeating what you just
0:03:39said that when I was struggling to make
0:03:41the no starchy stuff thing work
0:03:44I discovered that the the worst part was
0:03:47before we eat the actual meat that's
0:03:48what I feel the meat fatigue but if I
0:03:50force myself to eat something protein
0:03:52like you say that the shortcake train
0:03:54desire would abate a little bit goes
0:03:55away and what's funny is you really tell
0:03:57what's in your head
0:03:58I want to go somebody said to me why
0:04:01don't you just take a celery stick and
0:04:03and dip it in a peanut butter jar and I
0:04:06was like well for one I'm not for at the
0:04:08daycare center and 42 and I literally
0:04:12have not eaten nothing like that since
0:04:141973 and I'd and I i cannot think of a
0:04:17thing less appetizing you should be ants
0:04:19on a log
0:04:20you didn't because raisins on let's not
0:04:22let's not talk about nom nom nom nom
0:04:24but uh but yesterday I'm walking around
0:04:26I'm just like celery with peanut butter
0:04:28on it that sounds so delicious like it
0:04:30is it's only taken a week and already I
0:04:32think of vegetables in a different way
0:04:36like oh I get me some vegetables like
0:04:39that will at least the philly up they
0:04:42were long they dress up your dumb dead
0:04:44uh you're dead shoe-leather whatever
0:04:47thing you do is you feel a little fruity
0:04:49they're like I know in my heart that
0:04:51like I really like he say espera goose
0:04:53and I love asparagus I like broccoli i
0:04:56love spinach like sautéed with you know
0:04:59cloves of garlic so good huh
0:05:02but when I think that we're finally
0:05:03doing a cooking implements hi welcome to
0:05:08the non switch on a number of it is I
0:05:11date below
0:05:12here's the thing i know you but you know
0:05:16what super boring but i want but i
0:05:19always say is this is a mistake to see
0:05:20one have things
0:05:21yeah what is that that in my head so I
0:05:24got me and we'll talk more about me
0:05:26because my family is away and I i I've
0:05:27been eating nothing but meat and but i
0:05:30think the missile
0:05:31hmm i should go make some asparagus and
0:05:33I could spike it put a little spritz of
0:05:35lemon on it and I feel like such a fruit
0:05:38when that goes through my head but I
0:05:39think it's delicious and I eat it I
0:05:41friends only thing
0:05:43well it'sit's I absolutely feel you I
0:05:45friend of mine was in town I had not
0:05:49seen him in many many years he and his
0:05:50family live in st. Petersburg Russia and
0:05:53they were passing through seattle and
0:05:55they said we're gonna be here long
0:05:56enough to get dinner let's all meet for
0:05:58dinner and I said well absolutely where
0:06:01should we eat and they were unified in
0:06:04wanting to eat at the Red Robin because
0:06:07really there because they're going back
0:06:09to Russia they're going to be in Russia
0:06:11for another year and red robin was the
0:06:14American style like like a had bonsai
0:06:19hamburger with a pineapple ring on it
0:06:21and a strawberry milkshake sounded like
0:06:23like a-- me know that was their dream
0:06:25right you're not you can get a lot of
0:06:27things in st. Petersburg but i'm
0:06:28guessing you can't get nachos with like
0:06:31strawberry completely probably get a
0:06:33rocket launcher faster than you get a
0:06:35pint
0:06:36berger guessing right right so we all go
0:06:39to we all go to red robin and I you know
0:06:42I used to work at the Red Robin I was
0:06:44the red robin it's not right
0:06:47I ever tell you the story when you have
0:06:50not heard how you became the red robin
0:06:51it was one of my earliest jobs i was 17
0:06:53years old i read that man i was a busboy
0:06:56at the Red Robin in Anchorage and they
0:06:59didn't you know they didn't trust me to
0:07:01be a waiter they didn't think I had the
0:07:03maturity but they but I was running
0:07:06around bussing tables and one day I was
0:07:07in the back storeroom and you know back
0:07:11there behind all the boxes of Dixie Cups
0:07:13hanging on a hook is this you know ical
0:07:17came around the corner and was like oh
0:07:19and here's this life-size red robin
0:07:23costume hanging on a hook like dead
0:07:25lifeless how long have you been there
0:07:27before you realize this
0:07:28well there was a it was like a back
0:07:30storeroom that kind of never got used
0:07:32and I was there I was working there a
0:07:33couple of months you know before I went
0:07:35around and saw this and I was sent into
0:07:37that room you have a key
0:07:39ok sent into it to find something some
0:07:41cash register item and here's this red
0:07:45robin and it looked exactly like hanging
0:07:48on the hook it looked exactly like the
0:07:50alec baldwin chicken face in beetlejuice
0:07:53like you know like it reached in and
0:07:56pull this nose out and and had fingers
0:07:59for eyeballs and I was like startled and
0:08:01scared and though i mentioned it to the
0:08:04manager and he was like oh yeah you know
0:08:06usually well for a long time we had
0:08:08somebody being the red robin but you
0:08:11know you have to be you have to be big
0:08:12and like to dance and blackjack and she
0:08:16was like Hello big like to dance love
0:08:19kids and he was like you want to do that
0:08:21and I think you like I says look at
0:08:23snazzy outfit so I so I run back through
0:08:26the red robin costume on I go out into
0:08:28the light go out into the restaurant and
0:08:30I don't know if you read the studies
0:08:32recently but it has its been discovered
0:08:35by the guy that that provides sports
0:08:37mascots two people to sports teams in
0:08:40America that that's severely autistic
0:08:44people
0:08:45make the absolute best sports mascots
0:08:49look like a dickhead character
0:08:51yeah we have never heard that once
0:08:53they're inside i'm in the end these are
0:08:55people who are who are completely
0:08:57internal like like rainman level of
0:09:00autism they put on the costume and they
0:09:05become incredibly animated incredibly
0:09:08social gifted like like child hugging
0:09:14cartwheel turning Super mask on and then
0:09:20you take the math you take the costume
0:09:22off of them and they go back they they
0:09:23kind of just it's like it's almost a a
0:09:26they received on awakenings kind of
0:09:30situation so it was it was I had a
0:09:33similar experience I put on this costume
0:09:34I walked out into the restaurant where I
0:09:36had been working at toiling as a as a
0:09:38busboy love the lowest guy on the totem
0:09:41pole and suddenly I was the red robin
0:09:45and everyone in the restaurant wanted me
0:09:47to come over to their table and all the
0:09:49waiters were like you know stepping
0:09:52aside to let me pass and I never wanted
0:09:55to get out of this costume Marland I was
0:09:57I inhabited the character of the red
0:10:00robin who as you know is both a
0:10:02Mixmaster or a mixologist and also a
0:10:06burger master to two things at times I i
0:10:10I've only ever eaten a red robin but I
0:10:12pass by them and i'm just looking at the
0:10:14character appears to be a red bird and
0:10:16he's got a little bit kind of like a
0:10:17what like a beanie cap on he's got like
0:10:21a backwards when he's got a baseball cap
0:10:23I guess you probably shouldn't maybe 17
0:10:24he's carrying a burger like bob's big
0:10:26boy he's got a big adorable yellow bird
0:10:28feet
0:10:29that's right and pencil beautiful blue
0:10:30eyes to those are you up to those who
0:10:33are listeners who are not in America it
0:10:35is a burger restaurant that was started
0:10:37in Seattle
0:10:38it's a chain restaurant they have the
0:10:39burger places all over the country and
0:10:42they their twin selling points were the
0:10:46this menu about rageous burgers
0:10:48outrageous burgers with outrageous
0:10:51toppings
0:10:53and then also a very fun bar component
0:10:57where master mixologist sand i believe
0:11:00the term mixologist was invented at
0:11:02redrock turns out it was I take it all
0:11:07back this looks this looks fantastic it
0:11:08says here it's America's you get gourmet
0:11:11burgers and spirits what a brilliant
0:11:13idea we had some time guess so mom and
0:11:16dad could go and get one of these liked
0:11:18all drinks that had 15 shots of liquor
0:11:20and it tasted like a banana and the kids
0:11:24could eat all you can eat seasoned fries
0:11:26and a and a giant burger covered with
0:11:30skills or whatever it is
0:11:31the kids want and they used to have all
0:11:34they had amazing food a mud pie not
0:11:37chose anyway so I was I had such a good
0:11:41time as the red robin i was such a
0:11:42success that they started to somebody
0:11:45got a truck and they would put me in the
0:11:48back of the truck and we would we drove
0:11:51to all the hospitals and i started
0:11:54visiting sick kids as the Red Robin will
0:11:58get a response did you get that was
0:12:00amazing you walk onto the ward and all
0:12:02the little little sick and hurt kids and
0:12:05they're so thrilled you know the hardest
0:12:07part I think the South boring did you
0:12:10celebrate come
0:12:11yeah mom and dad come visit for an hour
0:12:13or whatever but nobody's there it's just
0:12:15dull and here comes this giant freaky
0:12:19bird half of the kids had no idea what
0:12:22the connection was to the restaurant it
0:12:24was just like here's his giant Freebird
0:12:26and thinking about it now like we were
0:12:29doing this really roguelike it was this
0:12:31is one assistant manager and one of the
0:12:34waiters owned a truck and we're like I
0:12:36know let's go to hospitals can't imagine
0:12:38that happening today don't even think we
0:12:40call the head
0:12:41I think we just drove to hospitals
0:12:44walked in and the nurses at the in the
0:12:48ER were like oh hello
0:12:50let's go and like took us back to the
0:12:52days like 50 things about that that
0:12:54would never happen today right
0:12:56if John Roderick sighs Redbird walked
0:12:58into a hospital today there'll be so
0:12:59many questions you're going to get a
0:13:01black bag
0:13:02yeah but this was you know and and and
0:13:05the entire trip across Anchorage with me
0:13:06in the back
0:13:07this pickup truck I'd be waving at
0:13:09people with the harmonic mock I really
0:13:11felt like like queen for a day every
0:13:15time I put on this costume and it
0:13:16transformed so we started going to like
0:13:18state fair and and stuff like that where
0:13:21the red robin to eat you the manager
0:13:23didn't mind you doing this
0:13:25the manager loved it because first of
0:13:27all I was a not a very good busboy
0:13:29win-win
0:13:31and being that check it out of here that
0:13:34that summer like all of a sudden the red
0:13:38robin was literally everywhere in
0:13:41Anchorage like you could not get me out
0:13:42of that student and everytime everytime
0:13:45somebody open an envelope i was there
0:13:47the red robin costume like Hello
0:13:50and you know if it's a silent role so i
0:13:53wasn't i didn't say anything i was just
0:13:54bouncing and jumping and dancing
0:13:58I mean you know dancing to like
0:13:59schoolhouse rock or whatever it is that
0:14:01they play
0:14:02I mean it's probably nice i entirely
0:14:04different from the spectrum kids wear
0:14:07like you disappear into this character
0:14:09and it's not like the interesting thing
0:14:11about it is like everybody sees you as a
0:14:12big dancing bird but like all you see is
0:14:15the people's reaction which is not
0:14:17you're watching yourself on being one
0:14:18god what the fuck is wrong with me when
0:14:19i get a girlfriend like you you would
0:14:21you just see the delight he walked up
0:14:23and see the delight in people's eyes and
0:14:25do a little dance everybody in the world
0:14:27should do it should walk into a hospital
0:14:29ward of sick kids dressed as a giant
0:14:33bird which everybody should have that
0:14:35experience once because the looks of
0:14:38like pure joy and and and agile ation on
0:14:43these little faces where they're just
0:14:44like you came to see me and you know and
0:14:47i'm like hmmm and high five and big hug
0:14:51and it's just like oh you know I it was
0:14:54it was for as it wasn't my first job but
0:14:58as one of my first jobs
0:15:00it was a it was a hell of a revelation
0:15:03so I have a tremendous soft spot for red
0:15:05robin even as they have succumbed to
0:15:08cost-cutting measures such that i feel
0:15:12that their current Mudpie a shadow of
0:15:16its former self but the content
0:15:18same so Jake don't you hate to see that
0:15:19when a place you really love starts
0:15:21going downhill the old mud pies
0:15:23they literally opened a jar they opened
0:15:27like one of those two court glass jars
0:15:31of atoms peanut butter and just turned
0:15:34it upside down on this chocolate ice
0:15:36cream pie and it was like okay I'm I'm
0:15:40getting dizzy
0:15:41I need to sit down because this that
0:15:43just smelling this this ice cream cake
0:15:46pop back then you could do that no one
0:15:47would stop you
0:15:48oh no you did I mean it again seems like
0:15:50a different role in the one hand I can't
0:15:52believe that you didn't have to go to
0:15:53like six weeks of training and sign a
0:15:55bunch of insurance forms for you put on
0:15:57the suit but at the same time I think
0:15:59about like my tenth birthday at
0:16:00farrell's I don't have you ever seen the
0:16:01ferals but I the pig strong Farrell's I
0:16:04made him think of myself i got the
0:16:06ribbon on my soapbox haha i did I have
0:16:09made a pic of myself at farrell's my
0:16:11tenth birthday there was amazing and
0:16:13they would remember they would have
0:16:14liked didn't mean they come out they
0:16:16carry like they have this ice cream
0:16:18thing that came out like a stretcher
0:16:19yeah they're all wearing straw boaters
0:16:21and like I don't pop but you could eat
0:16:24it you can just sit there and eat 21
0:16:27scoops of ice but there was yeah that
0:16:29was there was one really crazy when I
0:16:30think that the the pigs truck fixed
0:16:33oh my god John I i'm only worse occasion
0:16:35order and ate something called a pigsty
0:16:37off thanks dropped 21 skills that I was
0:16:39like six it was a lot there was one that
0:16:42was really really big that was called
0:16:43likes the roller coaster or the Ice
0:16:45Capades or something
0:16:46there's one was just ridiculously large
0:16:48but I mean it was a banana split had
0:16:50basically everything you can see if we
0:16:52put on there yeah it's just a boost a
0:16:54fire with like every flavor gonna find
0:16:57out now I'm look at these red robin
0:16:58burger to remember correctly that you
0:16:59don't like an onion roll remember that
0:17:01correctly onion roll i seem to recall
0:17:04one time I i seem to call asking if you
0:17:06like that on your role for a burger and
0:17:08oh oh no I don't prefer an onion roll ok
0:17:11so pretty good huh yeah that's a good
0:17:12memory
0:17:13yeah and look at these burgers i have a
0:17:15feeling you don't really get that much
0:17:18tall avocado on your broker but i'm
0:17:21looking at some wonderful beautiful some
0:17:24of those burgers will will will sit you
0:17:26down the fried onions are very generous
0:17:29oh well and so I'm so I go to this
0:17:31restaurant with
0:17:31my friends who live in Russia and they
0:17:34are just you know they're just tucking
0:17:36their napkins into the front of the
0:17:37shirts and they're like here we go we're
0:17:40gonna eat one of these six thousand
0:17:42calorie burgers
0:17:44we're all going to have milkshakes and
0:17:46the waitress came around to me and I was
0:17:47like cobb salad please
0:17:50Oh God and they'll they looked on me
0:17:53with pity they looked on me with like
0:17:55it's just so strong they didn't want to
0:17:58say anything to they looked at me like
0:17:59you know like I had just said i would I
0:18:03just said like I'd like some
0:18:04radiological I'd like a glass of
0:18:06radiological hasn't variant that happen
0:18:10and the waitress is like okay I'm not
0:18:13going on no ice here comes my cobb salad
0:18:16and it is i mean it seriously the size
0:18:18of a bear's head it is really is very
0:18:21generous
0:18:22it's a massive cops out there is nothing
0:18:24to be sorry about
0:18:26but but you know my friends are over
0:18:28there like eating their burgers and slow
0:18:31motion licking their their chops and you
0:18:36know and i'm here with my my leg and my
0:18:39slices of turkey and avocado
0:18:41so it's kind of a chef salad and I went
0:18:43out with me i had left my friend and a
0:18:45few weeks ago and he had a Cobb salad
0:18:46and I remember it seemed very Hardy yeah
0:18:49alright so they're amazing they're great
0:18:51but it is not a thing I would have ever
0:18:53chosen for myself at a red robin will be
0:18:55a time when I don't like when you inside
0:18:57and out
0:18:57you really going to like house of prime
0:18:58rib and getting like a really good like
0:19:01like Kathleen of soul or something we're
0:19:03like pilots good but like you're kind of
0:19:06missing out on what makes that play
0:19:07special you know
0:19:08yeah that's exactly right like you read
0:19:10you always read them at the menu and
0:19:11there's always there's always something
0:19:14like the way of Seoul where you say the
0:19:16only person that the only person that's
0:19:18gonna order that is a guy who's who's
0:19:21putting a nitroglycerin tablet under his
0:19:23tongue but free at four sits down at
0:19:25that's a bunker meal it sound like where
0:19:28the scar across his the scar across his
0:19:30chest from open-heart surgery is still
0:19:32throbbing
0:19:34that's the only guy that's gonna eat the
0:19:37one fish me I I've a friend he's a
0:19:39vegetarian bunch of us went out fears
0:19:41years back when two house of prime rib
0:19:43even their right Merlin what don't tell
0:19:46me don't tell me you've never been there
0:19:48for the entire time we've known each
0:19:50other which now is 10 flush nearly ten
0:19:54plus years ten plus years you have been
0:19:56talking about the house and everything
0:19:58breakers scott simpson Jason thin even
0:20:02jonathan coulton I think there multiple
0:20:06times they all talk about Hodgman Jesus
0:20:08it'sit's something else you know the
0:20:11cookhouse a primary blah blah blah with
0:20:13Merlin blog in San Francisco director I
0:20:15feel so bad we'll listen we need to make
0:20:17a trip we need to make sure we need to
0:20:18schedule we discuss on a show here and
0:20:21show up there we'll bring our families
0:20:23not the house of prime rib you know
0:20:25where you take me when I come visit you
0:20:26I do take oh that's if you don't mind
0:20:30walking canes and we buy everything
0:20:33great doing something to tell them we
0:20:36tell the story about your pants that we
0:20:37were told that story on here i'm sure
0:20:39you remember that night but what happens
0:20:42rushing up to go to dinner and you had
0:20:45figured you'd figured that I in this is
0:20:49exactly the kind of thing that drives me
0:20:50nuts with people it's like if I know I
0:20:52have to be somewhere and it might
0:20:53require pants I'll bring five pairs of
0:20:55pants and you came to town we're going
0:20:57to go to fancy dinner and you had not
0:20:59checked what pair of pants you grabbed a
0:21:01mistake number one he showed up was kind
0:21:03of late remember this you must yes
0:21:05absolutely we were going to dinner with
0:21:06the mister fancy-pants fancy-pants in
0:21:08the other guy and and the other guy and
0:21:10so we are great guys but I'm we and you
0:21:14know I'm legitimately like three strikes
0:21:16in a fancy areas this place this place
0:21:19in nob hill and through anyhow but you
0:21:22got here and you had not checked what
0:21:23pair of pants you grab and I don't know
0:21:25which decade those pants would have
0:21:28worked on you I don't think those pants
0:21:29will fit you three years ago these pants
0:21:31were little they were like little boy
0:21:33pants
0:21:33mistake number one mistake number two
0:21:35you didn't even bother to like grab your
0:21:38good we're gonna go and you're driving
0:21:39you're like bullet
0:21:40I mean you're having your San Francisco
0:21:42bullet moment driving down Market Street
0:21:43hyperventilating and never seen you so
0:21:45anxious because you'll be late for this
0:21:47you know they're gonna be shit for late
0:21:48for it and go to in a complete frenzy we
0:21:53drive the first of all you don't have
0:21:55pants number one
0:21:56number two you decide you're not going
0:21:57to bother to bring any pants with you
0:21:58because that would be inappropriate
0:21:59you're wearing like like big Richard
0:22:02Nixon shorts with with wear the suit
0:22:05jacket
0:22:06you look kind of like like I like a
0:22:07beefy Angus Young yeah we're already
0:22:09we're already late for dinner or later
0:22:11on the other side of your over here in
0:22:13West the cheese's we go to our crappy
0:22:15good well there's nothing there at all
0:22:16costs 50 bucks right and we finally
0:22:18that's right we went to that goodwill up
0:22:20i gotta be like a very photo of you put
0:22:22it up you know what you're looking at
0:22:23here is everything everything was they
0:22:26were all doctors with three pleats
0:22:27effort like struck $80 yeah things I was
0:22:29not going to touch with my hands
0:22:31yeah well then we haul ass and now now
0:22:33you're real anxious because and
0:22:35everything you put on was too small
0:22:36because as we've discussed everything at
0:22:38the goodwill only small people died and
0:22:40everything in the goodwill unless you
0:22:41really spend some time in my experience
0:22:42is all tiny tiny men clothes or triple
0:22:45extra-large right and luckily you're
0:22:47right in the middle your triple
0:22:48extra-large because of because the
0:22:50triple extra-large people that is
0:22:52exactly like hell so anyway it was just
0:22:54it was then we got to get the place we
0:22:56were measured me what we got to like the
0:22:58castro we parked and and i stayed in the
0:23:01car and you tore ass in your angus young
0:23:03pants and like ran and so what happened
0:23:05that you want to like so so I'm you're
0:23:08like there's got to be some place in the
0:23:10castro it's looking like vintage stores
0:23:12fancy boy stores all kinds of stores so
0:23:14here we get down to the castro was like
0:23:16okay we're just gonna Park in the gas
0:23:17station and part in the South car
0:23:20spotters you're uncomfortable I'm like
0:23:22you guard the car and Iran on the one in
0:23:25the left foot rent and to his suit i'm
0:23:29in a suit jacket and like underwear
0:23:31basically i ran into this vintage store
0:23:33and I'm like men's pants and she's like
0:23:37in the back you know over by the but
0:23:39tuxedo jackets or whatever said it was
0:23:41it was some castro was like on market
0:23:44street like in that kind of fancy
0:23:45stripping having curative masters it was
0:23:47like the thrift vintage kind of its real
0:23:50upscale that a tear as far as like
0:23:52you're not even going somewhere and get
0:23:54like a like a skinny tie for a buck
0:23:56ya know if I mean that was it was it had
0:23:58been it was it was a how do you say carl
0:24:01curated store
0:24:03and I run in the back and I'm flipping
0:24:05through all these things and they're all
0:24:06it's just like a bunch of Hammer pants
0:24:08and and and sweaters
0:24:12yeah just like garbage garbage garbage
0:24:14garbage and then I come upon this
0:24:17amazing pair of so what were they were
0:24:22reproduction buckle back wool pants that
0:24:28a forest ranger in the twenties was like
0:24:33very full leg very heavy with outdoorsy
0:24:36very outdoorsy pans and I looked at the
0:24:39man's land there you know kind of high
0:24:40waist like buckle back a very earlier
0:24:43style and I was like these pants
0:24:47not only are the right pans but these
0:24:49pants are Dynamite's these people i'm
0:24:51gonna walk into this novel steakhouse
0:24:53and everybody in the place is gonna have
0:24:55to reevaluate what they chose which is
0:24:58how I like to walk into a place where he
0:25:01worked out it worked out i I'm in now
0:25:04then so i go into the dressing room I
0:25:06wear the pants out i'm waiting in line
0:25:09behind you know behind a guy shorts
0:25:12Ichabod Crane now I left it short so
0:25:15silly audios I'm wait wait in line
0:25:18behind a guy that's where you know like
0:25:20yeah like a tri-cornered hats market
0:25:24needs in here buying puka shells or
0:25:26something and like come on come on come
0:25:27on
0:25:28I'd throw my money down on you know
0:25:30throw through ashdown where I don't have
0:25:32to wait
0:25:33run back up to the gas station where
0:25:35you're singing zipcar spot drumming your
0:25:37fingers on that and hopefully we show up
0:25:41by the time we got to van ness I
0:25:43honestly thought I was going to die you
0:25:46you
0:25:47we know you know what it wasn't even
0:25:48like it was named seem clean your your
0:25:50gene hackman and the French Connection
0:25:51like banging on the dashboard we were
0:25:53going fast chasing the heroin dealers
0:25:55but it was a but you know I just it's
0:25:58interesting and then again now the fact
0:25:59that you left the short scene i would
0:26:01take the shorts because I contingencies
0:26:03right you never know what's gonna happen
0:26:04you want to go skinny-dipping if i want
0:26:06to go swimming well you're not
0:26:07skinny-dipping but you know pants pants
0:26:08swimming in fact what we did is we went
0:26:10and everybody everybody after the depth
0:26:13of the dinner was smoking pot out of an
0:26:14e-cigarette yeah
0:26:16and I made that your friend yeah and oh
0:26:18yeah you did you did a very good job of
0:26:20making fun of that guy stopped doing
0:26:22that don't make fun of people anymore i
0:26:23don't know that was pretty great haha i
0:26:25don't even remember what I said you know
0:26:27you know everybody had a few cocktails
0:26:29yes and you were just calling attention
0:26:31to the fact that his house was vulgar
0:26:34this case was for didn't say i don't
0:26:38remember any of that
0:26:40well you were just like this is a very
0:26:41expensive house in a very it's a very
0:26:44expensive everything in it is very
0:26:48expensive something you know about me is
0:26:50there's a couple of situations right
0:26:51shutdown shutdown when you yell at me
0:26:53and I cry I shut down when people start
0:26:56lying compulsively ah I can't hear you
0:26:59can sometimes get very mad at that
0:27:01well um I you know what it is it's very
0:27:05silly compulsive liars and people who
0:27:06are ostentatious probably not in this
0:27:11case this can actually have a lot of
0:27:12dough but who are like like insecure
0:27:14falsely fancy high-status you know
0:27:17douchebags and and this is something I
0:27:21picked up from my college but like
0:27:22somebody says oh yeah well you know
0:27:23that's my mother's day BMW and go wow
0:27:26that's a really expensive car
0:27:29yes you did but everything else play
0:27:31along but then it gets to like wow
0:27:33that's a really big boat up I don't know
0:27:38what to say i will not be I will not be
0:27:40I'm not gonna be a VC I'm not gonna be
0:27:41complicit
0:27:42you're not going to go gladly along with
0:27:44this little game you're supposed to play
0:27:46it's the same reason i can't stand like
0:27:48like fake friendly-like tchotchkes kind
0:27:50of waiters it just makes me a plastic I
0:27:52just like how we doing tonight
0:27:54yeah what we're doing is shut up and
0:27:55take my order to end up like a gentleman
0:27:57and take my fucking order hold the
0:28:00tomato between know this party was
0:28:04fantastic because every new room that we
0:28:06went to in this house there was a new it
0:28:08was written it was like a curtain party
0:28:09and it was revealed a new level of
0:28:11pretentious vulgarity wasn't that it was
0:28:14really loud and Carolyn so making tough
0:28:17the shower stalls that had terrible
0:28:21floors get a bathroom with its own
0:28:23bathroom
0:28:24yeah and you just everywhere everywhere
0:28:26went just increase louder and louder
0:28:28wow how much did that cost you have to
0:28:31really spend a lot of money on that and
0:28:34the guy was oblivious to you that
0:28:36oblivious large piece of granite
0:28:38yeah that is an artwork that must have
0:28:40been very expensive in the store and
0:28:43then and I wanna know is that we're
0:28:45standing on his roof of his water it
0:28:47whatever in Georgia so gorgeous eyes
0:28:49stories house
0:28:50yeah and I look everybody's looking at
0:28:53the beautiful san francisco which is
0:28:54panoramic view and I look behind look
0:28:57off the back side of the house and down
0:29:00in the cavern between his giant house
0:29:05and the little 1920s bungalow behind it
0:29:08the five foot space between his house
0:29:12and the and the wall with this little
0:29:15house and I realized that oh my god this
0:29:19little bungalow behind his newly
0:29:21constructed house ad for 100 years or
0:29:26for 90 years that little bungalow had an
0:29:29incredible view of san francisco from
0:29:32its yard and then this this giant 2001 a
0:29:37Space Odyssey modernist monolith slammed
0:29:40into the vacant lot on the corner got
0:29:43that would that be so frustrating
0:29:44blocked out the light and so at as as
0:29:47we're all standing around smoking pot
0:29:49with the ISA grip myself excluded i say
0:29:52to our hosts um so so who are the
0:29:57neighbors like you know like what's
0:30:00their story and he kind of looked over
0:30:02his shoulder down at the house was like
0:30:03huh
0:30:04oh I don't know and we went back to
0:30:07talking about the music business i was
0:30:08like wow he doesn't even see the
0:30:11aristocracy it doesn't even know them
0:30:13like he doesn't even understand doesn't
0:30:15recognize that there's a neighborhood
0:30:17behind his house
0:30:19I was also this is nothing is a
0:30:21beautiful house is very nice guy
0:30:23it's just a dead never said a bad word
0:30:26about the guy
0:30:27good good good cook makes her own
0:30:28clothes super nice guy
0:30:30yeah pretty fish yeah sweetie I never
0:30:33married duh yeah now that you know it is
0:30:37also it's kind of in that style that
0:30:39became popular when lofts started
0:30:41getting big in San Francisco so I'm sure
0:30:42siblings in in Seattle but you get the
0:30:45place that's got the combination of like
0:30:46it's it's kind of like a place where
0:30:48people would work and it looks a bit
0:30:49like a boat and the stairs the the
0:30:51stairs i'll have that like wire you know
0:30:54high tensile strength like wire stuff
0:30:56instead of like normal like you know
0:30:58slats or whatever and different layers
0:31:00extra-big like kinda like slides like
0:31:03you're in the in the Meatpacking
0:31:04District and then you get those lights
0:31:06with the with the covers over arm so
0:31:07that when you're unloading your forklift
0:31:09you won't accidentally knock out your
0:31:10porch light i right that's funny because
0:31:12that if you go to like a city where
0:31:15where I mean let's be honest in most
0:31:17places maybe and maybe New York sure
0:31:18maybe in Seattle sure the most places
0:31:20here they made that on purpose in 1998
0:31:22to look like that and it's it's kind of
0:31:25I don't know it's not even as good as
0:31:27living in a tree house its kind of it's
0:31:29kind of like I don't know it's like it's
0:31:31like the the the single 45 year old
0:31:34man's version of a racecar bed that
0:31:36there's anything wrong with that i was
0:31:38in you're right Batman comics i'm not
0:31:39going to say anything I know but you're
0:31:41not sitting in a racecar bed not know
0:31:44yeah it's not because they don't make a
0:31:46king I got it badly
0:31:47yes that the new Seattle uh uh the the
0:31:50new university of washington football
0:31:51state in the day as and which they're
0:31:54they're kind of rebuilding this football
0:31:56stand your father was an ardent fan
0:31:58right you will see what so we we used to
0:32:00go to we used to go to every game we
0:32:02could and sit up in the absolute highest
0:32:04seed fault then we all hope it would at
0:32:08one time in love that story sorry that's
0:32:11a new stadium in stadium and i'm driving
0:32:13past it and I'm like I'm astonished to
0:32:17the point where I almost had to pull
0:32:18over because i was so gate mouth at the
0:32:21fact that the 700 million dollar bond or
0:32:26whatever it was that they pass to build
0:32:27this thing and all the architects that
0:32:29had to had to pass a
0:32:32is rubber-stamp this plan that they have
0:32:35made this football stadium of 50,000
0:32:38seat football stadium they made it look
0:32:40like a panera bread like what it has it
0:32:43has all the are presently have bread
0:32:45bowls redbull ones let's look at Baghdad
0:32:47it's more like a big big round ii i know
0:32:49you know what panera bread is one of
0:32:51those one of those strip mall a strip
0:32:54mall be sure okay out in the out in the
0:32:57hinterlands it looks like it's just a
0:32:59man should look like that that's that's
0:33:00terrible yeah it's so architectural II
0:33:03like that
0:33:04undefined it's just it's like oh you
0:33:07it's like Tinkertoys plus faux brick
0:33:12well done round of applause for
0:33:13everybody like and I'm sure that there's
0:33:17ten percent for art or whatever and you
0:33:19walk inside and there is a statue of a
0:33:22like a seagull or a or highest vote Joe
0:33:27Heisman for somebody but like the lights
0:33:31bit but the exterior of this thing could
0:33:36not be like it isn't unappealing it is
0:33:39non appealing there's no there's nothing
0:33:42you just look at it and and your heart
0:33:45just keeps pumping at the same rate that
0:33:48it was but thank you
0:33:50I think he nailed it it's not not unlike
0:33:54the the fake boathouse or or fake
0:33:55warehouse thing in that sometimes you
0:33:58can look at something like that and you
0:34:00can't immediately put your finger on it
0:34:02like you could say okay this is vulgar
0:34:03and garish and like weird but but maybe
0:34:06on closer inspection you like you know
0:34:07what that's not real brick like that's
0:34:09you know that's the equivalent of wood
0:34:10paneling like you you put that as a face
0:34:12on the cheapest conceivable earthquake
0:34:15safe building materials to keep the
0:34:18place from you know just falling down
0:34:20the first time people sit in it but
0:34:21there's something about it that like and
0:34:22and you know and even though giants game
0:34:25even though giants game you want with
0:34:27mr. fancy right i have never been to a
0:34:29giants k RR with a very fancy stadium
0:34:32you know I mean airway had a career
0:34:34ahead of the curve on the busy bee
0:34:35Candlestick Park which is free i'm using
0:34:37there's like a whole team of like they
0:34:39hire a bunch of kayakers right to catch
0:34:41their their their old balls I think
0:34:43they're interns no no there there
0:34:45unpaid ball catchers like a lot of
0:34:46people in high school mhm and in
0:34:50anybody's you know it's got it all its
0:34:51got the garlic fries it's got the you
0:34:53know of course you get the bread bowl
0:34:55with the sourdough bread bowls sure we
0:34:58got one of those here in Seattle is that
0:35:00shit yeah it's got a wolfgang pucks in
0:35:03it uh-huh
0:35:04although I guess every year for your
0:35:05food yes california pizza kitchen or
0:35:08whatever but this is the artist areas
0:35:10where she was going to have to look at
0:35:11just what I'm saying ok alright let's
0:35:13get sushi there because of the Pacific
0:35:15and whatnot
0:35:15yeah we do we are Seattle is known for
0:35:17its seafood you know what's good my wife
0:35:19won't shut up about those noodles we got
0:35:20that one time
0:35:22Oh last thing is gonna be fascinating to
0:35:23people you have the the heat that the
0:35:25high nutrition shape barley green oh my
0:35:28goodness says our office for I'm sure
0:35:31I'm sure our listeners particular
0:35:32international listeners are showing this
0:35:34smell
0:35:35let's let's let's let's bring it back
0:35:38let's bring it back to what we're eating
0:35:40these days because right yeah I you know
0:35:42but you know what you know where the big
0:35:45hack of this whole thing every time i
0:35:48say hack you sniffle here like your
0:35:53science fiction book words like my big I
0:35:56big but my big hack your big axe John
0:36:03was I made all this bacon right I made
0:36:06two pounds of bacon is made of bacon act
0:36:08is a bacon mac and you think you've got
0:36:11every bacon hack but i'm telling you
0:36:13this is a new 1i think i almost wrote a
0:36:15book about it I got it I got those
0:36:17little snack bags not that the little
0:36:20Ziploc snack bags and talk about the
0:36:21half-size bags that are only good for
0:36:24like ten candy corns right like you
0:36:28would get like a like a like a dime bag
0:36:30or like you don't like little rolling
0:36:31ones like the kids snacks materials and
0:36:33that kind of that's right that's right
0:36:34little short short bag and so I got all
0:36:39this bacon cooked it still exists and I
0:36:41have cooked it so that it's chris but
0:36:43it's still warm and pliable and i put
0:36:47for Bacon's / ziploc bag so i'm making
0:36:52for bacon bacon part 44 script bacon
0:36:55pods
0:36:56and I love his hack then I push all the
0:37:01air bacon and you put that pic i push
0:37:03all the air out of the bag right and
0:37:06then I'm stacking bacon pod servings in
0:37:10the freezer
0:37:12that's kid and then every time I'm like
0:37:15bacon
0:37:16that's like a 20-second reheat isn't it
0:37:18I mean it doesn't take long
0:37:19no here's the head it's a double hacker
0:37:21this had double hack I pulled the first
0:37:25time I grabbed the first bacon pot out i
0:37:29was like huh i'm on my way to the
0:37:32microwave to put him in there for a
0:37:3330-second reheat and I break off a
0:37:36little chunk of it and put it in my
0:37:39mouth
0:37:39no frozen bacon what I treat is like the
0:37:46popsicle of the gods
0:37:48it is so delicious you you like the
0:37:50thomas and cured meats because it
0:37:53because of the the way that bacon is
0:37:55because of its consistency its natural
0:37:58crunchy meaty consistency freezing it
0:38:02does not change its consistency at all
0:38:05it is still just like crispy bacon see
0:38:09but it is going to rain you want to
0:38:11drain it very well i'm guessing
0:38:12oh yeah youyou as you're cooking the
0:38:14bacon you take it out you put on some
0:38:15paper towels so it's not covered and
0:38:16coagulated fat
0:38:18ah that sounds good and then frozen
0:38:21bacon and you know four strips at a time
0:38:23perfect serving you get four strips ok
0:38:26so then frozen bacon in a in a mini bag
0:38:29check you you you make it make a fist
0:38:33you crunch up the bacon in the mini bag
0:38:35and there's your topping for your for
0:38:38your quarter iceberg lettuce salad with
0:38:41blue cheese dressing
0:38:43you got this shit wire time my friend
0:38:45boom boom boom
0:38:46every day a new use for four strips of
0:38:49frozen bacon
0:38:50huh because you're not going to have to
0:38:52wonder you're not sitting there cuz it's
0:38:53a little bit of a production like making
0:38:54pancakes almost said something like I
0:38:56should make bacon like it kind of takes
0:38:58a few minutes
0:38:59yeah and you just have it around my
0:39:01gravel house gets greasy as fuck it's
0:39:03terrible and once you're making bacon as
0:39:05you know it is much less effort to keep
0:39:08baking
0:39:09taken right you have you have some you
0:39:11have inertia you have bacon inertia
0:39:13that's right and you could if making two
0:39:15pounds is like making ten pounds and
0:39:17it's never enough
0:39:18I don't even get into the whole internet
0:39:18bacon think it's a fucking cares but but
0:39:21but i will tell you every time I've
0:39:22always think I have enough bacon I I now
0:39:24by three pounds of bacon when I know
0:39:26you're coming to the house and still
0:39:27it's like crab legs are or you know or
0:39:29something that was never enough right so
0:39:31three pounds of bacon make it put them
0:39:35in bacon pods freedom and you will end
0:39:38your whole it's it's it's a complete
0:39:40transformation the great got a job to
0:39:42you can take it to your work that you
0:39:44don't really have to put in the freezer
0:39:46and you can have a treat
0:39:47anytime you get a cup of coffee as a
0:39:49fucking frozen bacon have fun for bacon
0:39:51and that tonight I want a good ham
0:39:53probably not as good because its
0:39:56consistency it was independent shippers
0:39:59part of what makes it incredible is that
0:40:01the bacon is already thin and crispy and
0:40:04freezing it doesn't doesn't really
0:40:06change that like they the mouthfeel if
0:40:09you will permit me to use the term
0:40:11mouthfeel boom the mouthfeel of the
0:40:14bacon is unchanged except it is now
0:40:17freezing cold like a popsicle
0:40:20let's take a couple calls we have a riot
0:40:22on line from Grand Rapids he had some
0:40:24questions about things that he could do
0:40:26with leftover roast beef Ryan you're on
0:40:29our online Orion haha haha car food
0:40:36here's what I'm thinking really hate
0:40:38when people talk about food like it i
0:40:40know i like we do I hate it's like it's
0:40:42like orgasms and farts like I just I
0:40:44don't want to think about anybody else's
0:40:45other people's food or orgasms are parts
0:40:49minor I never want to think about other
0:40:53people's parts except half of twitter
0:40:55now it's just people talking about the
0:40:56farms never let me keep up other
0:40:59people's orgasms points really a
0:41:01big-hearted fella are people people are
0:41:04actually talking about the fart
0:41:07I think it's one of those so you mean it
0:41:09and Alan gee Ashley no I'm time I mean
0:41:12literally about their farts I I feel
0:41:13like it is a kind of I might have done
0:41:17that thing so three or four times in my
0:41:19Twitter life I have to go back to
0:41:23twitter I've followed a few people and
0:41:26then followed the people that they seem
0:41:27to think we're the best and pretty soon
0:41:29you can end up in a cul-de-sac
0:41:31yeah of people were like oh I'm over
0:41:34here is a ball at tompkins singularity
0:41:37yeah were you know like I ended up kind
0:41:40of over in the Jake football nest camp
0:41:43is not recently and you know and you
0:41:47follow people you can follow my I'm fine
0:41:49with all that but everyone smile i
0:41:51realized that i have followed numerous
0:41:53people and now i'm over somewhere in a
0:41:56side land that feels like the center of
0:42:00everything but it's really just what
0:42:02this group of people is talking about
0:42:03and I'm ready to kind of back out of
0:42:06that room quietly yeah and close the
0:42:09door behind me and that that group of
0:42:10people is the people have been following
0:42:12some of them are weird Twitter
0:42:14Superstars and you know various Twitter
0:42:19comedians and I'm just I'm ready to kind
0:42:21of just back out there and close the
0:42:24door
0:42:24yeah I yes I I don't like to follow that
0:42:30many people on Twitter who are like me
0:42:33yeah um and I really I with Pats
0:42:36conversation i I just I can't follow too
0:42:38many of the comedy insiders it's no it's
0:42:40too exhausting
0:42:41no it's too bad and and and the new
0:42:43thing that is not really they're not
0:42:44funny
0:42:44there are hundreds it's not like going
0:42:46to marinas funny like this other people
0:42:48were funny they can be funny but last
0:42:50time i watched the ck is one of my
0:42:51all-time favorite performers his his
0:42:53Twitter was like the bulletin board at
0:42:55the laundromat
0:42:56yeah it was just awful is going to be
0:42:57over it sloppy joes this week that's
0:43:00great yeah dawg
0:43:02professor gigatons video handjobs the
0:43:06people that I'm really enjoying on the
0:43:07internet now are the ones who very
0:43:09selflessly curate a a stream of interest
0:43:13right
0:43:14stream of consciousness with sword
0:43:16like a blog is to be likable of AR
0:43:19microblogging that's exactly it is a
0:43:21microblogging platform microblogging
0:43:24somebody should invest in this idea
0:43:26microblogging mhm but they can't be a
0:43:30thought leader John where they let me
0:43:32let me just can you just drive on this
0:43:34for me that you so you're going on
0:43:36inside you
0:43:36ok let's put a pin in it well you know
0:43:38we need to do we need to get you on musk
0:43:40on this just talking about you please
0:43:43remember where I heard about the google
0:43:46balloon story now it's that it's that
0:43:49bill gates thinks it might not be a
0:43:51great idea what well you know when I was
0:43:54with them until you got to that comma
0:43:56because as long as their kid with
0:43:58malaria oh god no I get it he's like a
0:44:01few people help the world the way his
0:44:03foundation helps the world like in fact
0:44:05apparently turns out i don't know
0:44:07because I can't afford to get the Dillon
0:44:09gates foundation on my ass and my friend
0:44:11of the bill and melinda gates foundation
0:44:12is also listening to our conversations
0:44:15and keeping a log i think they're much
0:44:18more likely to do something with the
0:44:19information that I couldn't understand
0:44:21you might come and inoculate me in a way
0:44:24that makes my life very complicated and
0:44:26not even looking at a time frame i can
0:44:28understand it might be I wake up like a
0:44:29year and a half from now and i'm just
0:44:30i'm just sitting in like Kaitlyn play
0:44:32with my spit or something but sitting
0:44:34under an apple tree in New England which
0:44:36I think read about the good of balloons
0:44:37a 20 bill gates ill gates
0:44:43hey I like that pearl jam single i was
0:44:46their new pearl jam song and they get a
0:44:47pearl jam song it's good i don't know
0:44:49why you have to that every once in
0:44:51awhile pearl jam you know surprises me
0:44:53with a new rock jam that I feel like is
0:44:56a is totally rad valid rock jam yeah but
0:45:00what happened that hasn't happened
0:45:02before it might be my first like
0:45:03programs i really liked you on the whole
0:45:06pearl jam and nice guys never married to
0:45:09to be i like i like them all I like them
0:45:11personally
0:45:12they seem like they are the Bruce
0:45:14Springsteen of the Northwest already
0:45:18here
0:45:19I found that I that I understand why
0:45:22people like Bruce Springsteen I
0:45:23understand his appeal was updated the
0:45:26list John let's go through these
0:45:28together religion tradition winter
0:45:32though I personally I think we shouldn't
0:45:38talk about music oh no sorry not the
0:45:40music the culture is that i personally
0:45:43don't don't
0:45:44I the bruce springsteen does not move me
0:45:47okay put him on the list too
0:45:49and you know and i have a friend now we
0:45:52have we have a friend i have a friend of
0:45:54british guy that you do you think you
0:45:56might know you got a president who is
0:45:59who has become personal friends with
0:46:01bruce springsteen it goes over to his
0:46:03house
0:46:03oh and when i get and keep getting like
0:46:06techie like they'll blow up my phone
0:46:08like you know uh I guess where i am and
0:46:12I'm like man that's creepy shouldn't and
0:46:14that's really it is like gets a hit him
0:46:16and Bruce sitting around was impressed
0:46:18and they're watching tax 20 fixing his
0:46:20car with Louise know he's like he's like
0:46:22he's bragging about being your house all
0:46:23my friends like papers i'm going to send
0:46:25a picture you to my friend is that cool
0:46:26and he's like sure
0:46:28and so you know sends a sense of like a
0:46:30selfie at least a really really nice guy
0:46:33seems like an amazing bc is going very
0:46:35very nice gain generous in a quiet way
0:46:37which I really like I am dying for the
0:46:40opportunity to go to Bruce Springsteen's
0:46:43house because this is not a completely
0:46:45unrealistic opportunity now who like it
0:46:48is conceivable that at some point I will
0:46:49be back east i will be in the new jersey
0:46:51area and my friend will say why don't we
0:46:55drop in on Bruce find my sext him i'll
0:46:58text entry Springsteen not kiss let's do
0:47:00this
0:47:00ok so help me understand i don't want to
0:47:03get I don't get what I want to find out
0:47:04go ahead well there's so there's two
0:47:06there's two problems shielding myself
0:47:08John because i really like Bruce
0:47:09Springsteen and I don't want to get into
0:47:11a thing with you makes me cry i know i
0:47:13don't want to get into thing that makes
0:47:14you cry either but i but i am afraid
0:47:16first of all that's saying that Bruce
0:47:19Springsteen does not move me is like
0:47:21there is a Bruce Springsteen NSA I think
0:47:26he does not care when I don't know he
0:47:29doesn't care but they're up with all
0:47:30those people that are like out in the
0:47:32bushes around it
0:47:33house or who Fredo and then also when i
0:47:37get there like I'm not sure what I'm
0:47:40going to say like I really liked the way
0:47:44that you i really like the way that you
0:47:48totally dominated the culture of america
0:47:50during my high school years just for my
0:47:52benefit
0:47:53it was really amazing to read about aj
0:47:55webmin the guy who liked was the
0:47:59self-appointed Dylan scholar he's like
0:48:01go through don't Dylan's trash and then
0:48:03like Dylan comes out and starts yelling
0:48:05at me record the conversation and shit
0:48:07happy I did I got that you like a team
0:48:10and yeah JJ weber it's really real
0:48:16creepy but like you imagine like that
0:48:17somebody out there who I guess is like a
0:48:19royal watcher he mentioned a royal
0:48:21watcher
0:48:22well there's all I mean there's like
0:48:24yeah they're self-appointed vultures
0:48:26like in all the trees watching everybody
0:48:28rekha I told you didn't I mean that's
0:48:33what I know that's a fantastic line its
0:48:36issued reasons like it seems seems like
0:48:38as you're driving up the long long lane
0:48:42the-the-the-the lane with with the with
0:48:45giant alder trees on either side that
0:48:48leads up to Bruce Springsteen's house
0:48:50and there are probably like some hundred
0:48:52and fifty thousand dollar thoroughbred
0:48:54horses trotting along side your card and
0:48:57since the person somehow a personal
0:48:59union steam see the same boat steel mill
0:49:02he's getting out there building will not
0:49:05be all tired school hard today because
0:49:12you don't like Billy Joel for the same
0:49:14reason right up your rental minivan
0:49:16suddenly transforms into a 57 t-bird
0:49:19wow you're like wow did I get here I
0:49:21mean I mean it's like I like I'm in no
0:49:24Willy Wonka lame and hit that button
0:49:27why wouldn't he just hit why turns it
0:49:29into a finished summary but all you're
0:49:33not a major an artificial bay like like
0:49:36chris Christie is up there with
0:49:38binoculars and a and a crossbow and
0:49:42everybody's up there like you don't love
0:49:45Bruce enough you know the list
0:49:46people that love Bruce that should be
0:49:48able to go to Bruce's house before me is
0:49:53you know because that's the feeling
0:49:55those people have they love Bruce so
0:49:57much if anybody's gonna get to go to
0:49:59Bruce's house it should be me and the
0:50:01list that list is like you're like
0:50:03you're looking T doing amazon.com wrong
0:50:05I don't even know where to begin
0:50:07like you don't want you don't like Bruce
0:50:09Springsteen as a person you don't like
0:50:11his music if you have another thing
0:50:13you've already said you stipulate you
0:50:14have nothing to talk to him about what
0:50:16you're worried that his personal NSA
0:50:18which includes a still rather portly
0:50:20Bowman is going to somehow get this
0:50:22information and then a scotch the trip
0:50:24that you don't want to have with the
0:50:26musician that you don't really like more
0:50:28if not scotch it then i don't know i
0:50:30mean just you know how it is when you
0:50:32when when it's just driving reached your
0:50:35driving up a country lane and you feel
0:50:36like people are in the trees scorning
0:50:38you
0:50:39oh yes that is terrible video a
0:50:42self-appointed vultures in all the trees
0:50:45yeah well ya know I i I've been
0:50:47disturbed by trees I've been thinking a
0:50:48lot about bows and arrows lately serious
0:50:50oh because you're reading comic books
0:50:52again no also also yeah i watch this
0:50:54martial arts movie walk see is that the
0:50:57name of the genre called hero and
0:50:59there's a there's this you can see this
0:51:00movie
0:51:01you gotta move there's no question it's
0:51:02it's amazing it's like the gates of
0:51:04greatest martial arts movie of all time
0:51:06and hero with the with the with the jet
0:51:09li ya gently and also i think that means
0:51:12we can rush along the treetops right
0:51:14yes but this is better than Crouching
0:51:16Tiger is such as legions he can run
0:51:18along we can we can jump from leaf to
0:51:20leave
0:51:21it's astonishing we do it but was my
0:51:23point oh yeah eras man they got some
0:51:26great poner scenes were lucky you know
0:51:28you got a big army can imagine how scary
0:51:30would be to be somewhere when hundreds
0:51:32and hundreds of guys with all different
0:51:34kinds of bows and you know crossbows and
0:51:37longbows and the kind of laying your
0:51:39back and pull the thing back
0:51:40imagine seeing like 15,000 arrows coming
0:51:45at you that's like that's like the skate
0:51:47just about the scariest thing I can
0:51:48think of its I literally all I have done
0:51:52for months and months is imagine what it
0:51:57would be like huh to to be
0:52:00they're well we've talked about the
0:52:01Battle of Hastings yeah we sure have
0:52:03and we end the lack of the the lack of
0:52:06of bowman on the English side we've
0:52:10talked about a drink or yes like a rain
0:52:14of arrows you know you don't mean it's
0:52:16not like a bullet where you don't see it
0:52:18coming
0:52:19it's like you do see it coming just a
0:52:22little italy one that is your name on
0:52:24and nothing to do about it nothing
0:52:26there's just like a way you could outrun
0:52:27it
0:52:28you just you crouch down you put your
0:52:30little you put your little would shield
0:52:32over your head and you just because this
0:52:35is the terrible thing in most cases if
0:52:37you got an arrow in the knee
0:52:40that's no better than one between the
0:52:42eyes
0:52:43you're just you're just gonna die of
0:52:45infection now right past the glory the
0:52:48guys like I am more scared of dying or
0:52:50being hurt and if you think about it
0:52:51it's really really more scared of being
0:52:54hurt in that case of the like whatever a
0:52:56sepsis or whatever like the fact that
0:52:57you're gonna sit there they're gonna
0:52:58have to move on and the best thing that
0:53:00could happen if your friend comes up and
0:53:01kills you because you're just going to
0:53:02die of an infection in horrible pain
0:53:04that you can shut the gut with the arrow
0:53:06the hell is that cool that's like an
0:53:09artillery right same idea you got from
0:53:12so far away but you see that I bet you
0:53:13got a good ten seconds to go
0:53:15holy shit i just hear this like she was
0:53:20this movie it's good rain of arrows
0:53:22coming down and they bring them with
0:53:24swords it's really cool when you went
0:53:27when you survive an attack of of archers
0:53:31I bet you feel pretty good about
0:53:32yourself especially if you can become a
0:53:35bench of planks did to meet you
0:53:38that was stupid I'm sorry I said that
0:53:43should tell you about some more about
0:53:45food he was a really stupid comedian who
0:53:47was so funny he was so state has not
0:53:50aged well John so much that late with
0:53:52this possible exception of the
0:53:54pheromones majors Richard Pryor has aged
0:53:57best buy out but Robin Williams I mean
0:54:01Bob Newhart what's my sensibility stands
0:54:04up a thousand times but totally
0:54:05bulletproof
0:54:06oh my goodness still so funny so weird
0:54:09yeah and its way I mean but why would I
0:54:11mean it's been very inspirational to me
0:54:12that
0:54:13the button-down mind yeah the one side
0:54:15of a phone conversation is funny
0:54:16it's just very very funny but now Robin
0:54:18Williams my gosh now I don't stipulate
0:54:21here this this could also want to talk
0:54:23about Billy Joel nice guy
0:54:25nice guy I'm Williams didn't run William
0:54:28stories
0:54:28well you met Robin Williams now now you
0:54:30know it's not appropriate
0:54:31I'm i was going to say when my family
0:54:34was staying at this house in another
0:54:37state this person had a giant like
0:54:41probably at least least like a hundred
0:54:43and fifty cassette tapes and I think
0:54:45this person who owns the house that we
0:54:47were staying in renting was is probably
0:54:50five to 10 years older maybe just five
0:54:53to eight years older
0:54:54because it's like three pat benatar
0:54:56records five or six Billy Joel records
0:54:59like three REM albums that aren't that
0:55:02great but like me and you know
0:55:04everything already ready Murr fear or
0:55:06the water or not
0:55:08yeah Hollywood Bowl or whatever yeah but
0:55:11I first of all its first time my
0:55:12daughter ever saw cassette tape which
0:55:15really was that link i mean i-i don't
0:55:18exaggerate it for fake comedic effect
0:55:20that was really fucking funny she opened
0:55:23up she didn't know how to open the case
0:55:24can remember like they're kind of weird
0:55:25and fragile sure i was talking about
0:55:27open
0:55:28no remember the later ones we had the
0:55:29full Jay Carney jay carlin you cards
0:55:31like all guy around you have a set of
0:55:34the they make assets of i'm sure they
0:55:36made like 50 kajillion Graham LPS but
0:55:40did you ever have two sets of like
0:55:42washing his arm to make sure that we
0:55:46never made so so the Western State
0:55:49hurricanes only ever really had a
0:55:53cassette right the less cassette right
0:55:55yeah he's still have a copy of that
0:55:57still have a couple of them you but by
0:56:00the time the first long winters record
0:56:01came out it was the everybody knew that
0:56:04cassettes were not a viable form of of
0:56:07releasing music is it strange because
0:56:09you know I a I went through a phase
0:56:13where I mean it's kind of on the bubble
0:56:14I had a stereo but let's do in my car
0:56:17circa nineteen eighty-eight of course i
0:56:19would have to dub it you know from the
0:56:21lp to the cassette that was an arch like
0:56:23to get the loudness exactly right and
0:56:25remember
0:56:26Richard had a CD player that would scan
0:56:27the entire CD to find the loudest point
0:56:30so you can set the set how cool work in
0:56:33that letter idea what they're not gonna
0:56:34beat now I might have been a Macintosh
0:56:36i'm not sure but our Fisher but probably
0:56:41the best fisherman k bye dad but yea was
0:56:44always getting intermediate like meeting
0:56:46because unless you were John Lennon you
0:56:47don't have a record player in your car
0:56:48so but here's the thing if you bought
0:56:51the cassette copy of something that
0:56:52sounded like shit compared to the album
0:56:54I I never did that once and it never
0:56:56made sense to me I would see people with
0:56:58their with the cassette liked it you
0:57:00know of of the pretenders or whatever
0:57:02and I'd be like why didn't you just buy
0:57:03the LPN recorded onto a 99-cent consent
0:57:07yeah you get to wrecked for the price of
0:57:09one it's true it's true and I mean like
0:57:12I remember a lot of Alcatraz the the
0:57:15first posters for the Steve I one had
0:57:17that on cassette had the rainbow one
0:57:20with since you been gone
0:57:21yeah like still pit box for that anyway
0:57:24this guy who is this my daughter's
0:57:25introduction to cassettes and it was her
0:57:27first major introduction to Billy Joel
0:57:28because I played a lot i think i might
0:57:31be a little bit back into Billy John
0:57:32only God he's got a couple of really
0:57:34good records
0:57:35well I mean Billy Billy Joel is perfect
0:57:37he's perfect for someone your daughter's
0:57:39age
0:57:40it's the right about it that's right
0:57:42about the state elections any season
0:57:44definitely it son saying I'm saying that
0:57:47it's kids music that didn't very hard
0:57:49today
0:57:50that's a great Jam no I think that's a
0:57:53great record
0:57:55yeah I i gotta say allentown I still
0:57:58kept myself singing it that and that is
0:58:00that is Beatles record and you know to
0:58:01get some when there's one song on there
0:58:03I know John I hate this I hate when this
0:58:05happens so many songs from about 1981 to
0:58:10even like 1990 suffer
0:58:13I'm not gonna want the gating but i'm
0:58:14just gonna say like through the eighties
0:58:15like the production is so thin it's
0:58:18crazy and that the keyboards that the
0:58:20senses are so lame
0:58:22this is one song called surprises it's
0:58:24really good don't get excited and then
0:58:27surprises
0:58:29and uh it's a really good ya heard
0:58:31that's nice
0:58:32like its it really it's got that like a
0:58:35prophet or a one of the San Francisco
0:58:37yamaha dx7 i think was before that but
0:58:39it's well god remember when the dx7 got
0:58:41popular super frustrating to it's on
0:58:44every record for the next five years
0:58:46whatever here Tina Turner want to hear
0:58:48that what's love got to do with a
0:58:49private dancer record to me it just
0:58:51sounds like somebody in a mall planet
0:58:53demo of the dx7 get right or your door
0:58:55for dinner yeah it's it's like church
0:58:58music because that's Monica that was all
0:59:00like every record
0:59:01uh-huh dx7 harmonica i said you know i
0:59:06feel like i feel like i should make a
0:59:07record with gated something I should
0:59:09make a record
0:59:09full stop if i was going to be planning
0:59:12a general plan with gated snares and dx7
0:59:17harmonicas and like yeah sure just radio
0:59:20shacks and icing like Billy Joel on no
0:59:25no you have to do you believe the goal
0:59:28you know John can give you a freebie his
0:59:31lyrics not always great and it looked
0:59:35actually sometimes just actually don't
0:59:37make sense
0:59:38I never really realized it until this
0:59:40listen through over vacation but some of
0:59:43these lyrics at one point in allentown I
0:59:46think he said something about the
0:59:47graduations hang on the wall
0:59:49yeah graduations hang on the wall but
0:59:53what does that mean
0:59:54let's me diploma it's easy money like
0:59:56mortarboard what does that mean he's
0:59:58trying to you know
0:59:58trying to you know
1:00:00I've seen in Deer Hunter uh-huh that
1:00:02that lasts 45 minutes like get to the
1:00:05part with the with the get to the dumb
1:00:07can we please get the video Vietnam I
1:00:09never 123 deliverance move on cimmino
1:00:12move on and it's in 45 minutes of them
1:00:15sitting in that bar in some upstate town
1:00:19and it's just like the broken asked
1:00:21characterization bomb went off like I'm
1:00:24and everything it's just a bunch of
1:00:25families that have been living there for
1:00:27generations and the dad worked at the
1:00:29factory in the granddad worked at the
1:00:31factory and they're just sitting in this
1:00:32bar with these these Schaefer beer signs
1:00:36on the walls and you just feel that that
1:00:39movie like the the that scene is so long
1:00:43and so like unendurable and you just
1:00:46feel like oh the the whole point of this
1:00:49is to make me feel to make me feel
1:00:52exactly what it's like to be to grow up
1:00:55in one of those shabby little
1:00:56Pennsylvania shithole towns and that is
1:01:01every time I see that scene i'm just
1:01:04transported into the mind of Billy Joel
1:01:06and I feel fulfilled its entire time
1:01:10never would have thought of that but
1:01:12you're totally right
1:01:13his whole hoopla and his whole all his
1:01:16fans they're all living in that first 45
1:01:19minutes of of deer hunter right okay
1:01:22well here's here's another one for you
1:01:23though is like you know that you know
1:01:25that one song and so Kelly across
1:01:26something interesting like Tony Tony
1:01:28Bennett and randy newman is it is in new
1:01:31york state of mine had a new york state
1:01:34of mine when he sings the song it kind
1:01:37of goes like this and like wow he's kind
1:01:40of trying to 20 but he's really kind of
1:01:42trying to do Randy Newman and it
1:01:43occurred to me like rainy Newman to his
1:01:46peril over the years or you know stupid
1:01:49people's fault but I mean he writes
1:01:51songs that are from a character's point
1:01:53of view
1:01:54yeah like short people is not about
1:01:56short people being inferior it's about
1:01:58some dickhead anything short people are
1:01:59inferior in some ways I mi6 from this
1:02:02character he sings as a slave master
1:02:04trying he's the expert and Billy Joel
1:02:07sings from a character that every
1:02:08character is him
1:02:09it's like but it's the first draft of a
1:02:12five-paragraph essay you know I was not
1:02:14convinced that voice that you're here
1:02:16and is actually Billy Joel singing like
1:02:18John Lennon singing like Tony been all
1:02:21I'm gonna send you I'm gonna send you a
1:02:22song the what's it called
1:02:24Layla Layla Charon Jennifer some song on
1:02:26the nylon curtain which is a very good i
1:02:28like Karen Jennifer yeah the time waits
1:02:31on Iran drawn a calorie accomplishment
1:02:35for chase Alexander the Great
1:02:38sure here you go to change that you
1:02:43liked you so that your graduation read
1:02:46this to you so the graduations hang on
1:02:47the wall but they've never really helped
1:02:49us at all
1:02:50no they never taught us what was real
1:02:52iron-on graduations and coke chromium
1:02:56steel that's right those are really the
1:02:59graduation thing on the wall but they
1:03:00never really helped us at all
1:03:02no they never taught us was real lucky
1:03:04graduations I'm telling you it grabs you
1:03:06just said is to be a name you here at
1:03:08Yad go to but it's a good record i'm
1:03:11telling you all right
1:03:13there's just one song that really sounds
1:03:14like it like its I don't know you it's
1:03:17weird he also lives in that weird zone
1:03:19where it's like you can't tell if it's a
1:03:20parody or not
1:03:22no no I didn't you can tell but it is a
1:03:24parity and he thinks it doesn't read as
1:03:26a parody it reads like a parody but it
1:03:28certainly internation chance you know
1:03:31any certain ways of seeing that you go
1:03:32Oh only Brian Wilson nobody seems like
1:03:35that except Brian Wilson for example I
1:03:37mean sure but she's you know he's used
1:03:38to chewing up the carpet it means that
1:03:40like in these casinos up in Schenectady
1:03:44and man and that's a you know that's
1:03:49like he's lost he's like David
1:03:51Copperfield he's lost any sense of I
1:03:54need to any luck he lost in 72 we never
1:03:56had it but you know i'm not talking
1:03:59about a fair sound like a cuddle
1:04:03I'm coming at it from a different
1:04:04perspective because of course as well as
1:04:06you remember I grew up in an in America
1:04:08but also far away from America in the
1:04:11great state of Alaska and loading here
1:04:13for it like a great cloud that's right
1:04:15America was already kind of a fetish
1:04:18item to us
1:04:19because these places were incredibly
1:04:21exotic like eastern Pennsylvania some
1:04:25some Adirondack mining town had was as
1:04:31exotic a place as as any place in the
1:04:35Ural Mountains to us you know what I
1:04:37mean like it wasn't just as foreign and
1:04:39so I can I came at all of that culture
1:04:44that then and include like Johnny little
1:04:47Johnny cougar and a pipe bomb she does
1:04:50oh and and and Bruce I mean now all of
1:04:55these guys and what I'm doing John
1:04:58Cougar kinda like that that farm aid
1:05:00phase where you got all that out loud
1:05:02and online who produces record yet that
1:05:06who's this little babrak yes Bob rocky
1:05:11went from kiss to john cougar but you
1:05:13know anything that Americans producing
1:05:16Shania Twain no that's my slang
1:05:20alright what about mutt lange it's also
1:05:23been a model objects
1:05:24I'm sorry I interrupted you yes but
1:05:26they're all fake heartland people well
1:05:28and that and that sense of Heartland was
1:05:30a thing that I already I already only
1:05:33understood as a cartoon right it was not
1:05:36a thing that we had direct exposure to
1:05:38so it seemed cartoonish already it's
1:05:41like the first time you land in New York
1:05:43and you walk up to a copier like a which
1:05:45way is the world trade center and the
1:05:47guy turns and he's like oh yeah you look
1:05:50for the World Trade Center a whatever
1:05:52and you're like what the fuck you're
1:05:54real
1:05:55oh yeah yeah that's like the that's like
1:05:57legit the Transit Authority like you
1:05:59hear all these jokes about there you go
1:06:01there like oh my god this is exactly
1:06:03what I imagined and it's horrible
1:06:06is that what's called us but that was
1:06:07that the place being wonders what am I
1:06:09thinking of what's called the not
1:06:10something and that's the Chicago out
1:06:12might think chicago transit authority
1:06:13yet it is not that the bus terminal but
1:06:17yeah you know what I mean you go in
1:06:19there just all like people laying in
1:06:21urine and nobody's actually waiting for
1:06:23any transit but you know even like
1:06:26what's funny though is with people like
1:06:27like Bob Seger god bless him he's got
1:06:29some good songs but then it's like sure
1:06:31down like a rock like commercial thing
1:06:33is something i guess i'm glad that made
1:06:35some money but like it was it exactly
1:06:36underscored like how silly that kind of
1:06:39like fake earnest you know successful
1:06:42rock musician thing is well and that and
1:06:45Jesus that mean that is the jumping-off
1:06:47point for for the deck kind of the whole
1:06:50cultural thought
1:06:52love it or leave it american culture and
1:06:55I guess it existed a long time before me
1:06:57Bob Seger was it was a cartoon with
1:07:00billy joel and Bob's here were kind of
1:07:02got a caricature and it was a cartoon
1:07:05when Bruce Springsteen was caricaturing
1:07:07it because it's a thing that goes back
1:07:09to what the war mean those guys are
1:07:11being nostalgic about World War to write
1:07:13more about their fathers their fathers
1:07:17experiences of coming home and coming
1:07:20home to this you know where we're all
1:07:22still suffering PTSD from having won the
1:07:26war and then not creating a utopia but
1:07:29instead 20-inch lasers at least having a
1:07:32time-release right recently said yeah
1:07:35yes exactly i think that's that's what
1:07:36kind of kicks kicked off a lot of that
1:07:38that stat a strain in some ways but also
1:07:42just the fact that there was a time in
1:07:44america american free tom was male with
1:07:49a high school education could get a job
1:07:51in an automobile factory or pink i'm not
1:07:54sure but you are but that was I mean
1:07:55that was a thing I mean GI Bill like
1:07:57that was there was a big you can get a
1:08:00graphic about it but that was a pretty
1:08:01good time and I'm really because the
1:08:03snatcher that well I sub i was reading
1:08:07this book
1:08:08not very long ago called the farm me see
1:08:12if I can find a copy of it here a book
1:08:14called the farm and it was written it
1:08:20was written in the early part of the
1:08:2420th century but in a very modern voice
1:08:26and it's a book of it's a sort of a
1:08:33nostalgic but but wise worldly book
1:08:38about this this this guy kind of looking
1:08:43back in his own family
1:08:45to the to the settling of the planes you
1:08:50know to a time when when his
1:08:53great-grandfather arrived in ohio and
1:08:56cleared the land and built the farmhouse
1:09:01that today is the oldest building in
1:09:04cleveland or something
1:09:05you're the oldest building in in akron
1:09:08let's say and at the time it was just
1:09:11all farm and they you know they lived
1:09:14together in one room while they were
1:09:16clearing the forest and eventually built
1:09:18on a second room and then a third room
1:09:20and pretty soon it they built this
1:09:22mansion and this book the farm it we
1:09:30were able from from our perspective
1:09:32yours in mind to cast back in our own
1:09:36imaginations and through our family
1:09:41histories and newsreels and books you
1:09:43know we can get back only so far before
1:09:47the reality of historical times becomes
1:09:52a becomes just a a just kind of a
1:09:56constellation of images right we don't
1:09:58have any sense of what it was really
1:09:59like we just have we just to put
1:10:02together some pictures in our mind from
1:10:04books and movies and so forth but this
1:10:07guy was writing this book at a time when
1:10:09a time prior to prior to really much
1:10:18very much media where he was a modern
1:10:21person in a modern writer a modern
1:10:22thinker but he was he had access to his
1:10:26grandparents who are still alive who
1:10:30were pre Civil War homesteaders and they
1:10:36were able to tell stories about their
1:10:37grandparents who arrived on the scene in
1:10:401790 or whatever and so he was able to
1:10:43write about this stuff in a very direct
1:10:44way in a way that wasn't mitigated by
1:10:49having seen a lot of movies about and
1:10:52also you know who he didn't see it you
1:10:55know he was hearing about
1:10:57the pioneer times and talking about them
1:10:59in more more or less as a as a as a
1:11:04still very a live game of telephone he
1:11:09was like this is like the first order
1:11:11think he wasn't he wasn't removed from
1:11:13it and like reading about it or seen
1:11:16movies you're saying is like had direct
1:11:18access to this
1:11:19ya like like his great-great-great
1:11:20great-grandfather had five kids and the
1:11:25descendants of all of those five
1:11:28children were all people that he still
1:11:32knew or knew about like he could he
1:11:35could say like then this house got built
1:11:38over here and this clan lived in hit you
1:11:42know it was it was it there was a
1:11:44certain point where that got incredibly
1:11:47splintered at the end of the 19th
1:11:48century and now nobody can go
1:11:51nobody has the ability and in America
1:11:54except very few people to say like five
1:11:58six generations back and i still know
1:12:00all the cousins or I know who they are I
1:12:03know their names and I know I know where
1:12:07they ended up you know like that whether
1:12:09the great migrations of of of immigrants
1:12:12in the late 19th century just america's
1:12:14population just explode and everybody
1:12:16went running for the running for the
1:12:18corners but anyway this book is this
1:12:21book is a spectacular kind of glimpse of
1:12:25because he is experiencing nostalgia to
1:12:30he's experiencing nostalgia for sleigh
1:12:34rides you know that currier and ives
1:12:37nostalgia that we don't even know we
1:12:41don't even know where week we see we see
1:12:43a picture or we sing A Christmas Carol
1:12:45people riding in a sleigh horse-drawn
1:12:47sleigh and it's just it's just kind of a
1:12:50it's kichar it's part of our collective
1:12:52culture but this guy is saying like it's
1:12:55like carolers in a Dickens right like
1:12:59tableau or something
1:13:00yeah and he is talking with nostalgia
1:13:03about these things which have been lost
1:13:05to the motorcar
1:13:07in it but but again in a way that makes
1:13:10you really feel really feel it firsthand
1:13:14and we recognize that voice of like oh
1:13:19well used to be
1:13:20it used to be that a man could make his
1:13:22living off the land and it used to be
1:13:25that a you know like sure we had a we
1:13:30had an indentured servant who lived here
1:13:32but we put it we put his kids in
1:13:36somebody there to help out for free on
1:13:38farms yeah he liked their subsidies that
1:13:40are black people that and this was that
1:13:42you know are indentured servant was was
1:13:44an Irish guy but he came over here you
1:13:46know we paid his passage or whatever
1:13:48right and he worked for us his entire
1:13:51life but his kids you know went to
1:13:54school and became you know and one of
1:13:56them is a barber a little Sheamus and so
1:13:59you know but you're reading this kind of
1:14:00story and and I don't know if it it
1:14:03whenever I think about whenever I think
1:14:06about the nostalgia because by that by
1:14:08the time the nostalgia wave has reached
1:14:11us
1:14:13I mean eighty-five percent of what we
1:14:16think of as American culture is just
1:14:17this is just like misremembered
1:14:20nostalgic long mythology right right
1:14:25we were so we're such self mythologize
1:14:27were such a young country still and yet
1:14:29we have all these you know we have all
1:14:32these epic heroes and all these you know
1:14:34fallin fallin martyrs and and the the
1:14:40race of technology of the last 200 years
1:14:43it feels like an American story more
1:14:45than more than any other you so you can
1:14:47say like well a motor car was invented
1:14:49in the UK but it's really an American
1:14:51story and all these things are American
1:14:53steam engines
1:14:55so when i say when i hear that when i
1:14:58hear that Billy Joel nostalgia for the
1:15:02for the post-war factory worker in the
1:15:07context of like even the even the 40
1:15:12years before his dad got a job at the
1:15:15mill let alone the hundred and forty
1:15:18years before it just feels like oh I
1:15:24gotta bury got a theory on that I mean I
1:15:27i have my life is full of mythologies
1:15:29and stories and stuff and you know ways
1:15:31of understanding the world but I mean
1:15:34until you become seen on life
1:15:35information and memories really only
1:15:38flow one way things never ending is your
1:15:40life rarely become less complicated as
1:15:42you get older and and the stories that
1:15:45you tell you tend to tell so I guess I'm
1:15:47trying to say is we start with ourselves
1:15:48and say like oh gosh haha boy I wish I
1:15:50was 14 again I would do that differently
1:15:52or you know i wish i had a job making
1:15:56the you know equivalent of what i make
1:15:57now except they spent less and you know
1:16:00what I would have done anything
1:16:01differently back then it was a simple
1:16:03everything was simple
1:16:04I mean that's how it feels everything
1:16:04physically you remember your pain you
1:16:06know you remember things like that you
1:16:07remember heartbreak or tragedy but by
1:16:10and large I think we yesterday seems
1:16:12less complicated than tomorrow for the
1:16:14prospect of tomorrow and I think that is
1:16:16not so different with the stories we
1:16:17tell ourselves and that's why we always
1:16:19get back to this things used to be
1:16:20simpler like every generation thinks the
1:16:22kids are are getting stupid and
1:16:24dangerous
1:16:24there's never been a generation that
1:16:26thought their kids were better than they
1:16:28were they meant if wanted more for them
1:16:30but they think they got more sass mouth
1:16:31there they're having more intercourse
1:16:34they're doing more alcohol and drugs to
1:16:35do more dangerous careless things that
1:16:37are not having to work as hard
1:16:38I don't think there's that many
1:16:39generations that that has have skipped
1:16:41on that I think almost everybody feels
1:16:43like they worked harder than their kids
1:16:44and their parents probably worked harder
1:16:46than them and and and everything used to
1:16:48seem simpler but you know what things
1:16:50were simpler they're simpler because a
1:16:51bunch of people died because there were
1:16:53no vaccinations and regular because
1:16:55white people ran everything and you
1:16:57didn't have to be confused by the black
1:16:58lady at the starbucks and it was simpler
1:17:00in a way that benefit you but like use
1:17:03you know the thing is the good old days
1:17:05weren't all that good
1:17:06and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems
1:17:08your kids that Billy Joel eric 08 before
1:17:14that was me
1:17:15oh god I picked the balls i think it's
1:17:23true though I think people are always
1:17:24there they are pining for the fjords
1:17:26they're always looking back to those
1:17:28days that seems so simple and they
1:17:30weren't they weren't simple like all
1:17:31those times that like your little kid
1:17:33and you remember that way because he
1:17:35didn't know enough to know how fucked up
1:17:37everything was no I think you can get
1:17:39past that whole like how much people
1:17:40just used to die for dumb reasons
1:17:42literally losing the hand losing a hand
1:17:45of farm machinery getting some dumb
1:17:47disease i told you about a I don't get
1:17:49into it I told you about a health scare
1:17:50my family had the other day there was
1:17:52some turned out to be not what we
1:17:54worried it would be that was fucking
1:17:55harrowing I mean we found out that our
1:17:57family have potentially been exposed to
1:17:59a deadly disease and as it turned out it
1:18:02was a mixup at the hospital but I don't
1:18:06get into a bit but like that's the kind
1:18:07of thing used to having people all the
1:18:08time they go oh by the way your kid's
1:18:11gonna be blind lose an arm because they
1:18:13did this one thing that's what like you
1:18:15still get a wholly-owned you're gonna
1:18:16walk around with the with a brace on
1:18:17your leg flexes you're staying in the
1:18:19house from now on and not going outside
1:18:20and breathing well I mean this is why
1:18:22there for many years and I and I cannot
1:18:25escape this this idea even still i am
1:18:28one of the people and I you may scoff
1:18:30but I'm one of the people that he may I
1:18:34i allow you to scott also incidentally
1:18:36yeah I found the book the farm here and
1:18:39it is written by Lewis bromfield if
1:18:41anybody's interested field Louis
1:18:42bromfield he can't see us
1:18:46I'm one of these people who continues to
1:18:50hold out the possibility that he will
1:18:52sell everything and move on to a
1:18:53sailboat
1:18:55and as as much as I recognize that that
1:18:59is a that is put a terrible idea
1:19:05I also a it's an inescapable one like I
1:19:08keep feeling like at some point i am
1:19:11going to have to do this because I so my
1:19:16mom's boyfriend that that that will
1:19:20cover just Johnny roads to her that
1:19:22relationship has run its course
1:19:24oh really that had happened very fast is
1:19:26fast at the long weekend didn't go so
1:19:28that's that will know I think it went
1:19:30well but it's just you know it's just a
1:19:31fortunately for me my mother is still
1:19:36herself and did not get swept away she
1:19:39can take that pumps and everything is
1:19:41back to normal she came but you came
1:19:42back to her senses but it but but the
1:19:45experience of i see i guess it's an
1:19:49experience that I that I have going to
1:19:51going to so many estate sales with the
1:19:57with with a our mutual friend Chad I got
1:20:02we go to a lot of state sales or he goes
1:20:03to a lot more than I do you know you
1:20:06come into these people's houses and you
1:20:07see their collections and you see them
1:20:09and you see that they were hoping that
1:20:11their things were going to stave off
1:20:13death and he realized that all of the
1:20:17you know they're 150 shot glasses in a
1:20:21in a custom-made case on the wall all
1:20:25they are all they ended up being because
1:20:27their kids don't want them all they
1:20:28ended up being was just another thing
1:20:30that some estate sale company had to put
1:20:33a little price tag on and it and a lot
1:20:36of it gets old and some of it just goes
1:20:38to the thrift store but you you go into
1:20:41these houses and you say like oh right
1:20:43everybody's trying to like hoarding and
1:20:46collecting crapple is exceptionally
1:20:50common it seems like maybe one of the
1:20:52number one ways that people
1:20:56that people build a framework to hold
1:20:59back time are they build up build some
1:21:02sugar candy Montgomery damn yeah right
1:21:06like no no no I'm gonna be like books
1:21:09they had never read that they will never
1:21:11read and and useless item upon useless
1:21:15item and I come back it's also it's also
1:21:17like an aspiration think it's like all
1:21:18the things that should happen as well
1:21:20right right the yacht club that they
1:21:22that they one day are going to join the
1:21:24sailboat there one day going to move
1:21:26onto and I look at my own collection of
1:21:29everything and I golike ok I'll I for
1:21:35instance i love our crumb and over the
1:21:39years I have collected a just not not as
1:21:42a collector but just out of interest in
1:21:44him I have collected a great number of
1:21:47our crumb comics because I every time I
1:21:52saw when I would buy because i like
1:21:53because i like his art and now I hold
1:21:57them I hold on to them because part of
1:22:01me imagines that one day I will
1:22:03introduce my children to the work of our
1:22:07chrome and they and their minds will be
1:22:08expanded but I know that that is not
1:22:11going to happen like the chances of the
1:22:15chances of like my daughter going
1:22:19through my books and finding our crumb
1:22:21and finding him at all interesting or
1:22:23appealing are like next 20 it's about
1:22:26ourselves so yeah so I'm carrying these
1:22:28are chrome with me and I look at my I'm
1:22:31in my forties right now I'm looking at
1:22:33these are crumbs on on the shelf and I'm
1:22:35thinking oh I could be i could slip
1:22:37these around for 40 more years and then
1:22:40never maybe I'll read them one more time
1:22:43but like I don't consult them they are
1:22:47books that are there they're among the
1:22:48ten thousand books i have back to this
1:22:50problem you talk about on time ago that
1:22:52think there's cubic inches of your life
1:22:55that we take being taken up by all these
1:22:57things that you have this like uncertain
1:22:59non-existent or unnecessary relationship
1:23:01too right yeah like by and I begin
1:23:03somewhere inches its cubic-inch
1:23:05especially that's the important thing
1:23:06it's got depth i'm beginning to think
1:23:08that and wait
1:23:09all go everything including I mean
1:23:13including everything but the very
1:23:15smallest box of family photos you know
1:23:19the rest of it like if I need to read
1:23:23the hobbit again i can find i think i
1:23:26can find one day I can find a copy and
1:23:30you know and the copy you know the copy
1:23:33of The Hobbit i have is something I
1:23:35checked out from the library
1:23:3730 years ago and never returned it still
1:23:39has the Dewey Decimal tags on the side i
1:23:42should probably take it back i should
1:23:44probably I should do one of those
1:23:45library think it's like a former coach
1:23:46on
1:23:47I mean as long as you don't commit the
1:23:48crime now it's okay that you keep the
1:23:50old one you can have eaten any camera
1:23:52for commission right you can have a
1:23:54bitch for you know what you could do
1:23:56what you could do is you could certainly
1:23:58do that that's a little bit crazy and
1:24:00seems like the beginning of self-harm
1:24:02but you could also do is this is to keep
1:24:04your favorite your favorite candelabra
1:24:07your favorite pair of cowboy boots your
1:24:09favorite brow playboy box the rest up
1:24:11put it in a storage shed for six months
1:24:13and see how you feel about him and then
1:24:15if you want so you know what I mrs.
1:24:16Brown's boys but I'm gonna frame five of
1:24:18them and put them on the wall and make
1:24:21it a making a thing because right now
1:24:22i'm gonna miss the inertia let me see if
1:24:24i could say what your problem is you
1:24:25know what is that stuff hasn't moved in
1:24:27either of you and that's another here's
1:24:29here's the thing John going to talk
1:24:31about here
1:24:33you can't sliced tomato unless you buy a
1:24:35knife and that's gonna hurt my back five
1:24:38minutes I don't know showing on anymore
1:24:39because dr. Phil's sound like Bill
1:24:41Clinton or is your dr. Phil just I just
1:24:43I i used to have different southern
1:24:45voices and now they are kind of selling
1:24:46foghorn leghorn up for one of each and
1:24:53put the rest away the exercise will be
1:24:55good for you
1:24:55it's not that costly and I know this is
1:24:58a is a hacked on a bacon hack but you
1:25:01know it's an old trick that lots of
1:25:02people suggested which is that you know
1:25:03if you got some kibble around the house
1:25:05under your big the located in a lot of
1:25:07people you get rid of that stuff put in
1:25:10a bag or box for the date on it and if
1:25:11you don't need anything from the box and
1:25:13six months throw it away
1:25:14nothing she did it for broke playboy
1:25:15that special materials give this to me
1:25:17if you need to get rid of them but well
1:25:19I can't I can't escape like when I was
1:25:21younger when I was a younger
1:25:23and I was acquiring these things because
1:25:25I was imagining populating myfuturelife
1:25:29with them
1:25:30absolutely and imagine the big like
1:25:32Bruce Wayne library with all that stuff
1:25:34and like a globe rights right right
1:25:36people would come into my house and they
1:25:37would be astonished by my by my one
1:25:39half-scale replica of the fucker tribe
1:25:43they would say my god man does it fly
1:25:47and I said honey is so eclectic I got in
1:25:51Africa rafa but now i'm in my life i am
1:25:54presently in the escape it and all of
1:25:58this stuff is it
1:25:59I literally do have a Bruce Wayne
1:26:01library that that that has I not a
1:26:05half-scale Fokker triplane but tri-motor
1:26:08but a bit like a one-eighth-scale and my
1:26:12red red baron plane know the fucker
1:26:15tri-motor was a was a piano fucker right
1:26:17that was a well let's see what the
1:26:21record Aaron oh wait a minute i am
1:26:24conflating two airplanes the Fokker
1:26:26triplane and be ford trimotor oh that's
1:26:32right motor was a was a 3 engine
1:26:35passenger plane the handsome a high and
1:26:39and the Fokker airplane in the scale it
1:26:44would look great in a study but it but
1:26:46alongside all the other things it's
1:26:48accumulating yes well it'sit's not it
1:26:51isn't just that it's continuously
1:26:52accumulating it's like you're saying i
1:26:54feel i feel like a like yo soul the
1:26:58Austrian glacier man stuck stuck with my
1:27:03little bag of of of muesli it definitely
1:27:08need to get rid of some puts and my my
1:27:11homemade herb for boots is it from a
1:27:13commercial or a book now you know the
1:27:15guy I'm talking about ricola yeah but
1:27:19the but yeah that guy the one that was
1:27:21though that that now they've decided was
1:27:23killed in a battle still not enough not
1:27:26to sound like a lost right now and him
1:27:29you don't talk about the guy in the in
1:27:30the cough drop commercial no i'm talking
1:27:33about the prehistoric man who was frozen
1:27:36in a glacier in
1:27:37still that's that's not Lucy not Lucy no
1:27:40okay Lucy is just a bone fragment and a
1:27:43story
1:27:44nice this is a classy this is it said
1:27:48about ladies all that Lucy's just a
1:27:50fragment of a jaw and a good tale but
1:27:56this guy okay
1:27:57the Austrian his name's not yo soul
1:27:59honey think that's a million sorry I'm
1:28:03tired after tea you know whatever his
1:28:05name is beautiful
1:28:06mhm no soul it's a the Paleolithic a
1:28:09bugler right right who who died on a
1:28:13glacier and was frozen for for literally
1:28:16thousands of years
1:28:17ok and the whole time he was in a
1:28:20glacier with his little bag of of of
1:28:24grain and his his his quiver of arrows
1:28:26he was probably thinking I don't have so
1:28:29much stuff i'm a little lost the
1:28:31analogies this is you your notes or I'm
1:28:35yo to my stuff is the glacier and what's
1:28:38the grain but a getting very hot today
1:28:50salt shaker by accident