Roderick on the Line

Ep. 80: "I Was the Red Robin"


00:00:00   hi John how's it going good it's going [TS]

00:00:18   to say why that's funny [TS]

00:00:19   mm-hmm I thought of course you can [TS]

00:00:23   yeah i think that we I think that we [TS]

00:00:25   should reference yesterday multiple [TS]

00:00:28   times but no no I just died bloop to you [TS]

00:00:31   on skype as a joke because i was you [TS]

00:00:34   know I've been remarked about how you [TS]

00:00:36   can clear your throat at the top of the [TS]

00:00:38   episode as you say so i think my exact [TS]

00:00:40   quote was clear throat before we go [TS]

00:00:42   uh-oh i saved it for you don't want to [TS]

00:00:47   hear all the little rabbit babies that I [TS]

00:00:50   was keeping in my chief what's that from [TS]

00:00:53   this disease came up with that guy you [TS]

00:00:57   should write songs are good ones you [TS]

00:01:00   well whichever dinning well it's a good [TS]

00:01:02   question i thank you i'm still wandering [TS]

00:01:06   around in a kind of the good carbonless [TS]

00:01:08   days and I was sitting here at my house [TS]

00:01:13   and I was just like I don't I don't I [TS]

00:01:15   can't imagine another meat entree that [TS]

00:01:20   that is it going to just make me despair [TS]

00:01:23   like all i want all i wanted spaghetti [TS]

00:01:27   with cookies on it [TS]

00:01:30   god I've never thought of that until you [TS]

00:01:34   just said it and that sounds so good [TS]

00:01:36   does it's a writ would be a real [TS]

00:01:37   carbo-load but then I looked in the [TS]

00:01:40   refrigerator and I realized that I had [TS]

00:01:42   made a stew a carbonless too and i had [TS]

00:01:47   also roasted a beef o like a rib roast [TS]

00:01:52   like a roast I had made a roast beef ooh [TS]

00:01:54   that sounds delicious [TS]

00:01:57   it does and it is but I don't have a [TS]

00:02:00   meat slicer and I realized that at least [TS]

00:02:04   half of the enjoyment i get out of roast [TS]

00:02:06   beef is out of the the the thinness of [TS]

00:02:10   the slices of the beef is [TS]

00:02:12   is that right now yeah it was it was [TS]

00:02:15   like a rib roast or what kind of a roast [TS]

00:02:17   did you make it was a couple of sirloin [TS]

00:02:19   roast it was like permit no no it was a [TS]

00:02:23   it was a bit of beef the beef but me to [TS]

00:02:26   give you the beef idea i'm just trying [TS]

00:02:27   to figure out which so you like a thin [TS]

00:02:29   cut you like a traditional roast beef [TS]

00:02:31   then slice [TS]

00:02:32   yeah rare rare cook and very thinly [TS]

00:02:35   sliced and then of course on a on a [TS]

00:02:37   fresh french roll but i can't have that [TS]

00:02:39   see that's how they get you [TS]

00:02:41   yes so delicious yeah so I do i ate the [TS]

00:02:44   rest of the Stu I'm feelin better [TS]

00:02:46   I'm feeling less like a like a like [TS]

00:02:50   diving into a swimming pool size [TS]

00:02:52   strawberry shortcake [TS]

00:02:54   I'm just I'm just getting by you know it [TS]

00:02:57   is not it's not torment at all it's just [TS]

00:03:00   a constant feeling of being of not [TS]

00:03:03   knowing what's not not going how to live [TS]

00:03:06   because if it's because of this this [TS]

00:03:10   this bizarre simulacrum of a life that [TS]

00:03:12   you've been living all these years I've [TS]

00:03:14   been I've been I've been hopping from [TS]

00:03:15   from shortcake to shortcake like a frog [TS]

00:03:19   or some afraid to and now now I'm this [TS]

00:03:24   person who's like I can eat any any meat [TS]

00:03:26   i want and it's I'm it's all delicious [TS]

00:03:28   and after after a weekend like meat is [TS]

00:03:30   the most boring food isn't it see it's [TS]

00:03:32   just the way it's like having a steady [TS]

00:03:33   girlfriend I I don't know this is useful [TS]

00:03:36   at all [TS]

00:03:36   you've probably already discovered that [TS]

00:03:37   you might be repeating what you just [TS]

00:03:39   said that when I was struggling to make [TS]

00:03:41   the no starchy stuff thing work [TS]

00:03:44   I discovered that the the worst part was [TS]

00:03:47   before we eat the actual meat that's [TS]

00:03:48   what I feel the meat fatigue but if I [TS]

00:03:50   force myself to eat something protein [TS]

00:03:52   like you say that the shortcake train [TS]

00:03:54   desire would abate a little bit goes [TS]

00:03:55   away and what's funny is you really tell [TS]

00:03:57   what's in your head [TS]

00:03:58   I want to go somebody said to me why [TS]

00:04:01   don't you just take a celery stick and [TS]

00:04:03   and dip it in a peanut butter jar and I [TS]

00:04:06   was like well for one I'm not for at the [TS]

00:04:08   daycare center and 42 and I literally [TS]

00:04:12   have not eaten nothing like that since [TS]

00:04:14   1973 and I'd and I i cannot think of a [TS]

00:04:17   thing less appetizing you should be ants [TS]

00:04:19   on a log [TS]

00:04:20   you didn't because raisins on let's not [TS]

00:04:22   let's not talk about nom nom nom nom [TS]

00:04:24   but uh but yesterday I'm walking around [TS]

00:04:26   I'm just like celery with peanut butter [TS]

00:04:28   on it that sounds so delicious like it [TS]

00:04:30   is it's only taken a week and already I [TS]

00:04:32   think of vegetables in a different way [TS]

00:04:36   like oh I get me some vegetables like [TS]

00:04:39   that will at least the philly up they [TS]

00:04:42   were long they dress up your dumb dead [TS]

00:04:44   uh you're dead shoe-leather whatever [TS]

00:04:47   thing you do is you feel a little fruity [TS]

00:04:49   they're like I know in my heart that [TS]

00:04:51   like I really like he say espera goose [TS]

00:04:53   and I love asparagus I like broccoli i [TS]

00:04:56   love spinach like sautéed with you know [TS]

00:04:59   cloves of garlic so good huh [TS]

00:05:02   but when I think that we're finally [TS]

00:05:03   doing a cooking implements hi welcome to [TS]

00:05:08   the non switch on a number of it is I [TS]

00:05:11   date below [TS]

00:05:12   here's the thing i know you but you know [TS]

00:05:16   what super boring but i want but i [TS]

00:05:19   always say is this is a mistake to see [TS]

00:05:20   one have things [TS]

00:05:21   yeah what is that that in my head so I [TS]

00:05:24   got me and we'll talk more about me [TS]

00:05:26   because my family is away and I i I've [TS]

00:05:27   been eating nothing but meat and but i [TS]

00:05:30   think the missile [TS]

00:05:31   hmm i should go make some asparagus and [TS]

00:05:33   I could spike it put a little spritz of [TS]

00:05:35   lemon on it and I feel like such a fruit [TS]

00:05:38   when that goes through my head but I [TS]

00:05:39   think it's delicious and I eat it I [TS]

00:05:41   friends only thing [TS]

00:05:43   well it'sit's I absolutely feel you I [TS]

00:05:45   friend of mine was in town I had not [TS]

00:05:49   seen him in many many years he and his [TS]

00:05:50   family live in st. Petersburg Russia and [TS]

00:05:53   they were passing through seattle and [TS]

00:05:55   they said we're gonna be here long [TS]

00:05:56   enough to get dinner let's all meet for [TS]

00:05:58   dinner and I said well absolutely where [TS]

00:06:01   should we eat and they were unified in [TS]

00:06:04   wanting to eat at the Red Robin because [TS]

00:06:07   really there because they're going back [TS]

00:06:09   to Russia they're going to be in Russia [TS]

00:06:11   for another year and red robin was the [TS]

00:06:14   American style like like a had bonsai [TS]

00:06:19   hamburger with a pineapple ring on it [TS]

00:06:21   and a strawberry milkshake sounded like [TS]

00:06:23   like a-- me know that was their dream [TS]

00:06:25   right you're not you can get a lot of [TS]

00:06:27   things in st. Petersburg but i'm [TS]

00:06:28   guessing you can't get nachos with like [TS]

00:06:31   strawberry completely probably get a [TS]

00:06:33   rocket launcher faster than you get a [TS]

00:06:35   pint [TS]

00:06:36   berger guessing right right so we all go [TS]

00:06:39   to we all go to red robin and I you know [TS]

00:06:42   I used to work at the Red Robin I was [TS]

00:06:44   the red robin it's not right [TS]

00:06:47   I ever tell you the story when you have [TS]

00:06:50   not heard how you became the red robin [TS]

00:06:51   it was one of my earliest jobs i was 17 [TS]

00:06:53   years old i read that man i was a busboy [TS]

00:06:56   at the Red Robin in Anchorage and they [TS]

00:06:59   didn't you know they didn't trust me to [TS]

00:07:01   be a waiter they didn't think I had the [TS]

00:07:03   maturity but they but I was running [TS]

00:07:06   around bussing tables and one day I was [TS]

00:07:07   in the back storeroom and you know back [TS]

00:07:11   there behind all the boxes of Dixie Cups [TS]

00:07:13   hanging on a hook is this you know ical [TS]

00:07:17   came around the corner and was like oh [TS]

00:07:19   and here's this life-size red robin [TS]

00:07:23   costume hanging on a hook like dead [TS]

00:07:25   lifeless how long have you been there [TS]

00:07:27   before you realize this [TS]

00:07:28   well there was a it was like a back [TS]

00:07:30   storeroom that kind of never got used [TS]

00:07:32   and I was there I was working there a [TS]

00:07:33   couple of months you know before I went [TS]

00:07:35   around and saw this and I was sent into [TS]

00:07:37   that room you have a key [TS]

00:07:39   ok sent into it to find something some [TS]

00:07:41   cash register item and here's this red [TS]

00:07:45   robin and it looked exactly like hanging [TS]

00:07:48   on the hook it looked exactly like the [TS]

00:07:50   alec baldwin chicken face in beetlejuice [TS]

00:07:53   like you know like it reached in and [TS]

00:07:56   pull this nose out and and had fingers [TS]

00:07:59   for eyeballs and I was like startled and [TS]

00:08:01   scared and though i mentioned it to the [TS]

00:08:04   manager and he was like oh yeah you know [TS]

00:08:06   usually well for a long time we had [TS]

00:08:08   somebody being the red robin but you [TS]

00:08:11   know you have to be you have to be big [TS]

00:08:12   and like to dance and blackjack and she [TS]

00:08:16   was like Hello big like to dance love [TS]

00:08:19   kids and he was like you want to do that [TS]

00:08:21   and I think you like I says look at [TS]

00:08:23   snazzy outfit so I so I run back through [TS]

00:08:26   the red robin costume on I go out into [TS]

00:08:28   the light go out into the restaurant and [TS]

00:08:30   I don't know if you read the studies [TS]

00:08:32   recently but it has its been discovered [TS]

00:08:35   by the guy that that provides sports [TS]

00:08:37   mascots two people to sports teams in [TS]

00:08:40   America that that's severely autistic [TS]

00:08:44   people [TS]

00:08:45   make the absolute best sports mascots [TS]

00:08:49   look like a dickhead character [TS]

00:08:51   yeah we have never heard that once [TS]

00:08:53   they're inside i'm in the end these are [TS]

00:08:55   people who are who are completely [TS]

00:08:57   internal like like rainman level of [TS]

00:09:00   autism they put on the costume and they [TS]

00:09:05   become incredibly animated incredibly [TS]

00:09:08   social gifted like like child hugging [TS]

00:09:14   cartwheel turning Super mask on and then [TS]

00:09:20   you take the math you take the costume [TS]

00:09:22   off of them and they go back they they [TS]

00:09:23   kind of just it's like it's almost a a [TS]

00:09:26   they received on awakenings kind of [TS]

00:09:30   situation so it was it was I had a [TS]

00:09:33   similar experience I put on this costume [TS]

00:09:34   I walked out into the restaurant where I [TS]

00:09:36   had been working at toiling as a as a [TS]

00:09:38   busboy love the lowest guy on the totem [TS]

00:09:41   pole and suddenly I was the red robin [TS]

00:09:45   and everyone in the restaurant wanted me [TS]

00:09:47   to come over to their table and all the [TS]

00:09:49   waiters were like you know stepping [TS]

00:09:52   aside to let me pass and I never wanted [TS]

00:09:55   to get out of this costume Marland I was [TS]

00:09:57   I inhabited the character of the red [TS]

00:10:00   robin who as you know is both a [TS]

00:10:02   Mixmaster or a mixologist and also a [TS]

00:10:06   burger master to two things at times I i [TS]

00:10:10   I've only ever eaten a red robin but I [TS]

00:10:12   pass by them and i'm just looking at the [TS]

00:10:14   character appears to be a red bird and [TS]

00:10:16   he's got a little bit kind of like a [TS]

00:10:17   what like a beanie cap on he's got like [TS]

00:10:21   a backwards when he's got a baseball cap [TS]

00:10:23   I guess you probably shouldn't maybe 17 [TS]

00:10:24   he's carrying a burger like bob's big [TS]

00:10:26   boy he's got a big adorable yellow bird [TS]

00:10:28   feet [TS]

00:10:29   that's right and pencil beautiful blue [TS]

00:10:30   eyes to those are you up to those who [TS]

00:10:33   are listeners who are not in America it [TS]

00:10:35   is a burger restaurant that was started [TS]

00:10:37   in Seattle [TS]

00:10:38   it's a chain restaurant they have the [TS]

00:10:39   burger places all over the country and [TS]

00:10:42   they their twin selling points were the [TS]

00:10:46   this menu about rageous burgers [TS]

00:10:48   outrageous burgers with outrageous [TS]

00:10:51   toppings [TS]

00:10:53   and then also a very fun bar component [TS]

00:10:57   where master mixologist sand i believe [TS]

00:11:00   the term mixologist was invented at [TS]

00:11:02   redrock turns out it was I take it all [TS]

00:11:07   back this looks this looks fantastic it [TS]

00:11:08   says here it's America's you get gourmet [TS]

00:11:11   burgers and spirits what a brilliant [TS]

00:11:13   idea we had some time guess so mom and [TS]

00:11:16   dad could go and get one of these liked [TS]

00:11:18   all drinks that had 15 shots of liquor [TS]

00:11:20   and it tasted like a banana and the kids [TS]

00:11:24   could eat all you can eat seasoned fries [TS]

00:11:26   and a and a giant burger covered with [TS]

00:11:30   skills or whatever it is [TS]

00:11:31   the kids want and they used to have all [TS]

00:11:34   they had amazing food a mud pie not [TS]

00:11:37   chose anyway so I was I had such a good [TS]

00:11:41   time as the red robin i was such a [TS]

00:11:42   success that they started to somebody [TS]

00:11:45   got a truck and they would put me in the [TS]

00:11:48   back of the truck and we would we drove [TS]

00:11:51   to all the hospitals and i started [TS]

00:11:54   visiting sick kids as the Red Robin will [TS]

00:11:58   get a response did you get that was [TS]

00:12:00   amazing you walk onto the ward and all [TS]

00:12:02   the little little sick and hurt kids and [TS]

00:12:05   they're so thrilled you know the hardest [TS]

00:12:07   part I think the South boring did you [TS]

00:12:10   celebrate come [TS]

00:12:11   yeah mom and dad come visit for an hour [TS]

00:12:13   or whatever but nobody's there it's just [TS]

00:12:15   dull and here comes this giant freaky [TS]

00:12:19   bird half of the kids had no idea what [TS]

00:12:22   the connection was to the restaurant it [TS]

00:12:24   was just like here's his giant Freebird [TS]

00:12:26   and thinking about it now like we were [TS]

00:12:29   doing this really roguelike it was this [TS]

00:12:31   is one assistant manager and one of the [TS]

00:12:34   waiters owned a truck and we're like I [TS]

00:12:36   know let's go to hospitals can't imagine [TS]

00:12:38   that happening today don't even think we [TS]

00:12:40   call the head [TS]

00:12:41   I think we just drove to hospitals [TS]

00:12:44   walked in and the nurses at the in the [TS]

00:12:48   ER were like oh hello [TS]

00:12:50   let's go and like took us back to the [TS]

00:12:52   days like 50 things about that that [TS]

00:12:54   would never happen today right [TS]

00:12:56   if John Roderick sighs Redbird walked [TS]

00:12:58   into a hospital today there'll be so [TS]

00:12:59   many questions you're going to get a [TS]

00:13:01   black bag [TS]

00:13:02   yeah but this was you know and and and [TS]

00:13:05   the entire trip across Anchorage with me [TS]

00:13:06   in the back [TS]

00:13:07   this pickup truck I'd be waving at [TS]

00:13:09   people with the harmonic mock I really [TS]

00:13:11   felt like like queen for a day every [TS]

00:13:15   time I put on this costume and it [TS]

00:13:16   transformed so we started going to like [TS]

00:13:18   state fair and and stuff like that where [TS]

00:13:21   the red robin to eat you the manager [TS]

00:13:23   didn't mind you doing this [TS]

00:13:25   the manager loved it because first of [TS]

00:13:27   all I was a not a very good busboy [TS]

00:13:29   win-win [TS]

00:13:31   and being that check it out of here that [TS]

00:13:34   that summer like all of a sudden the red [TS]

00:13:38   robin was literally everywhere in [TS]

00:13:41   Anchorage like you could not get me out [TS]

00:13:42   of that student and everytime everytime [TS]

00:13:45   somebody open an envelope i was there [TS]

00:13:47   the red robin costume like Hello [TS]

00:13:50   and you know if it's a silent role so i [TS]

00:13:53   wasn't i didn't say anything i was just [TS]

00:13:54   bouncing and jumping and dancing [TS]

00:13:58   I mean you know dancing to like [TS]

00:13:59   schoolhouse rock or whatever it is that [TS]

00:14:01   they play [TS]

00:14:02   I mean it's probably nice i entirely [TS]

00:14:04   different from the spectrum kids wear [TS]

00:14:07   like you disappear into this character [TS]

00:14:09   and it's not like the interesting thing [TS]

00:14:11   about it is like everybody sees you as a [TS]

00:14:12   big dancing bird but like all you see is [TS]

00:14:15   the people's reaction which is not [TS]

00:14:17   you're watching yourself on being one [TS]

00:14:18   god what the fuck is wrong with me when [TS]

00:14:19   i get a girlfriend like you you would [TS]

00:14:21   you just see the delight he walked up [TS]

00:14:23   and see the delight in people's eyes and [TS]

00:14:25   do a little dance everybody in the world [TS]

00:14:27   should do it should walk into a hospital [TS]

00:14:29   ward of sick kids dressed as a giant [TS]

00:14:33   bird which everybody should have that [TS]

00:14:35   experience once because the looks of [TS]

00:14:38   like pure joy and and and agile ation on [TS]

00:14:43   these little faces where they're just [TS]

00:14:44   like you came to see me and you know and [TS]

00:14:47   i'm like hmmm and high five and big hug [TS]

00:14:51   and it's just like oh you know I it was [TS]

00:14:54   it was for as it wasn't my first job but [TS]

00:14:58   as one of my first jobs [TS]

00:15:00   it was a it was a hell of a revelation [TS]

00:15:03   so I have a tremendous soft spot for red [TS]

00:15:05   robin even as they have succumbed to [TS]

00:15:08   cost-cutting measures such that i feel [TS]

00:15:12   that their current Mudpie a shadow of [TS]

00:15:16   its former self but the content [TS]

00:15:18   same so Jake don't you hate to see that [TS]

00:15:19   when a place you really love starts [TS]

00:15:21   going downhill the old mud pies [TS]

00:15:23   they literally opened a jar they opened [TS]

00:15:27   like one of those two court glass jars [TS]

00:15:31   of atoms peanut butter and just turned [TS]

00:15:34   it upside down on this chocolate ice [TS]

00:15:36   cream pie and it was like okay I'm I'm [TS]

00:15:40   getting dizzy [TS]

00:15:41   I need to sit down because this that [TS]

00:15:43   just smelling this this ice cream cake [TS]

00:15:46   pop back then you could do that no one [TS]

00:15:47   would stop you [TS]

00:15:48   oh no you did I mean it again seems like [TS]

00:15:50   a different role in the one hand I can't [TS]

00:15:52   believe that you didn't have to go to [TS]

00:15:53   like six weeks of training and sign a [TS]

00:15:55   bunch of insurance forms for you put on [TS]

00:15:57   the suit but at the same time I think [TS]

00:15:59   about like my tenth birthday at [TS]

00:16:00   farrell's I don't have you ever seen the [TS]

00:16:01   ferals but I the pig strong Farrell's I [TS]

00:16:04   made him think of myself i got the [TS]

00:16:06   ribbon on my soapbox haha i did I have [TS]

00:16:09   made a pic of myself at farrell's my [TS]

00:16:11   tenth birthday there was amazing and [TS]

00:16:13   they would remember they would have [TS]

00:16:14   liked didn't mean they come out they [TS]

00:16:16   carry like they have this ice cream [TS]

00:16:18   thing that came out like a stretcher [TS]

00:16:19   yeah they're all wearing straw boaters [TS]

00:16:21   and like I don't pop but you could eat [TS]

00:16:24   it you can just sit there and eat 21 [TS]

00:16:27   scoops of ice but there was yeah that [TS]

00:16:29   was there was one really crazy when I [TS]

00:16:30   think that the the pigs truck fixed [TS]

00:16:33   oh my god John I i'm only worse occasion [TS]

00:16:35   order and ate something called a pigsty [TS]

00:16:37   off thanks dropped 21 skills that I was [TS]

00:16:39   like six it was a lot there was one that [TS]

00:16:42   was really really big that was called [TS]

00:16:43   likes the roller coaster or the Ice [TS]

00:16:45   Capades or something [TS]

00:16:46   there's one was just ridiculously large [TS]

00:16:48   but I mean it was a banana split had [TS]

00:16:50   basically everything you can see if we [TS]

00:16:52   put on there yeah it's just a boost a [TS]

00:16:54   fire with like every flavor gonna find [TS]

00:16:57   out now I'm look at these red robin [TS]

00:16:58   burger to remember correctly that you [TS]

00:16:59   don't like an onion roll remember that [TS]

00:17:01   correctly onion roll i seem to recall [TS]

00:17:04   one time I i seem to call asking if you [TS]

00:17:06   like that on your role for a burger and [TS]

00:17:08   oh oh no I don't prefer an onion roll ok [TS]

00:17:11   so pretty good huh yeah that's a good [TS]

00:17:12   memory [TS]

00:17:13   yeah and look at these burgers i have a [TS]

00:17:15   feeling you don't really get that much [TS]

00:17:18   tall avocado on your broker but i'm [TS]

00:17:21   looking at some wonderful beautiful some [TS]

00:17:24   of those burgers will will will sit you [TS]

00:17:26   down the fried onions are very generous [TS]

00:17:29   oh well and so I'm so I go to this [TS]

00:17:31   restaurant with [TS]

00:17:31   my friends who live in Russia and they [TS]

00:17:34   are just you know they're just tucking [TS]

00:17:36   their napkins into the front of the [TS]

00:17:37   shirts and they're like here we go we're [TS]

00:17:40   gonna eat one of these six thousand [TS]

00:17:42   calorie burgers [TS]

00:17:44   we're all going to have milkshakes and [TS]

00:17:46   the waitress came around to me and I was [TS]

00:17:47   like cobb salad please [TS]

00:17:50   Oh God and they'll they looked on me [TS]

00:17:53   with pity they looked on me with like [TS]

00:17:55   it's just so strong they didn't want to [TS]

00:17:58   say anything to they looked at me like [TS]

00:17:59   you know like I had just said i would I [TS]

00:18:03   just said like I'd like some [TS]

00:18:04   radiological I'd like a glass of [TS]

00:18:06   radiological hasn't variant that happen [TS]

00:18:10   and the waitress is like okay I'm not [TS]

00:18:13   going on no ice here comes my cobb salad [TS]

00:18:16   and it is i mean it seriously the size [TS]

00:18:18   of a bear's head it is really is very [TS]

00:18:21   generous [TS]

00:18:22   it's a massive cops out there is nothing [TS]

00:18:24   to be sorry about [TS]

00:18:26   but but you know my friends are over [TS]

00:18:28   there like eating their burgers and slow [TS]

00:18:31   motion licking their their chops and you [TS]

00:18:36   know and i'm here with my my leg and my [TS]

00:18:39   slices of turkey and avocado [TS]

00:18:41   so it's kind of a chef salad and I went [TS]

00:18:43   out with me i had left my friend and a [TS]

00:18:45   few weeks ago and he had a Cobb salad [TS]

00:18:46   and I remember it seemed very Hardy yeah [TS]

00:18:49   alright so they're amazing they're great [TS]

00:18:51   but it is not a thing I would have ever [TS]

00:18:53   chosen for myself at a red robin will be [TS]

00:18:55   a time when I don't like when you inside [TS]

00:18:57   and out [TS]

00:18:57   you really going to like house of prime [TS]

00:18:58   rib and getting like a really good like [TS]

00:19:01   like Kathleen of soul or something we're [TS]

00:19:03   like pilots good but like you're kind of [TS]

00:19:06   missing out on what makes that play [TS]

00:19:07   special you know [TS]

00:19:08   yeah that's exactly right like you read [TS]

00:19:10   you always read them at the menu and [TS]

00:19:11   there's always there's always something [TS]

00:19:14   like the way of Seoul where you say the [TS]

00:19:16   only person that the only person that's [TS]

00:19:18   gonna order that is a guy who's who's [TS]

00:19:21   putting a nitroglycerin tablet under his [TS]

00:19:23   tongue but free at four sits down at [TS]

00:19:25   that's a bunker meal it sound like where [TS]

00:19:28   the scar across his the scar across his [TS]

00:19:30   chest from open-heart surgery is still [TS]

00:19:32   throbbing [TS]

00:19:34   that's the only guy that's gonna eat the [TS]

00:19:37   one fish me I I've a friend he's a [TS]

00:19:39   vegetarian bunch of us went out fears [TS]

00:19:41   years back when two house of prime rib [TS]

00:19:43   even their right Merlin what don't tell [TS]

00:19:46   me don't tell me you've never been there [TS]

00:19:48   for the entire time we've known each [TS]

00:19:50   other which now is 10 flush nearly ten [TS]

00:19:54   plus years ten plus years you have been [TS]

00:19:56   talking about the house and everything [TS]

00:19:58   breakers scott simpson Jason thin even [TS]

00:20:02   jonathan coulton I think there multiple [TS]

00:20:06   times they all talk about Hodgman Jesus [TS]

00:20:08   it'sit's something else you know the [TS]

00:20:11   cookhouse a primary blah blah blah with [TS]

00:20:13   Merlin blog in San Francisco director I [TS]

00:20:15   feel so bad we'll listen we need to make [TS]

00:20:17   a trip we need to make sure we need to [TS]

00:20:18   schedule we discuss on a show here and [TS]

00:20:21   show up there we'll bring our families [TS]

00:20:23   not the house of prime rib you know [TS]

00:20:25   where you take me when I come visit you [TS]

00:20:26   I do take oh that's if you don't mind [TS]

00:20:30   walking canes and we buy everything [TS]

00:20:33   great doing something to tell them we [TS]

00:20:36   tell the story about your pants that we [TS]

00:20:37   were told that story on here i'm sure [TS]

00:20:39   you remember that night but what happens [TS]

00:20:42   rushing up to go to dinner and you had [TS]

00:20:45   figured you'd figured that I in this is [TS]

00:20:49   exactly the kind of thing that drives me [TS]

00:20:50   nuts with people it's like if I know I [TS]

00:20:52   have to be somewhere and it might [TS]

00:20:53   require pants I'll bring five pairs of [TS]

00:20:55   pants and you came to town we're going [TS]

00:20:57   to go to fancy dinner and you had not [TS]

00:20:59   checked what pair of pants you grabbed a [TS]

00:21:01   mistake number one he showed up was kind [TS]

00:21:03   of late remember this you must yes [TS]

00:21:05   absolutely we were going to dinner with [TS]

00:21:06   the mister fancy-pants fancy-pants in [TS]

00:21:08   the other guy and and the other guy and [TS]

00:21:10   so we are great guys but I'm we and you [TS]

00:21:14   know I'm legitimately like three strikes [TS]

00:21:16   in a fancy areas this place this place [TS]

00:21:19   in nob hill and through anyhow but you [TS]

00:21:22   got here and you had not checked what [TS]

00:21:23   pair of pants you grab and I don't know [TS]

00:21:25   which decade those pants would have [TS]

00:21:28   worked on you I don't think those pants [TS]

00:21:29   will fit you three years ago these pants [TS]

00:21:31   were little they were like little boy [TS]

00:21:33   pants [TS]

00:21:33   mistake number one mistake number two [TS]

00:21:35   you didn't even bother to like grab your [TS]

00:21:38   good we're gonna go and you're driving [TS]

00:21:39   you're like bullet [TS]

00:21:40   I mean you're having your San Francisco [TS]

00:21:42   bullet moment driving down Market Street [TS]

00:21:43   hyperventilating and never seen you so [TS]

00:21:45   anxious because you'll be late for this [TS]

00:21:47   you know they're gonna be shit for late [TS]

00:21:48   for it and go to in a complete frenzy we [TS]

00:21:53   drive the first of all you don't have [TS]

00:21:55   pants number one [TS]

00:21:56   number two you decide you're not going [TS]

00:21:57   to bother to bring any pants with you [TS]

00:21:58   because that would be inappropriate [TS]

00:21:59   you're wearing like like big Richard [TS]

00:22:02   Nixon shorts with with wear the suit [TS]

00:22:05   jacket [TS]

00:22:06   you look kind of like like I like a [TS]

00:22:07   beefy Angus Young yeah we're already [TS]

00:22:09   we're already late for dinner or later [TS]

00:22:11   on the other side of your over here in [TS]

00:22:13   West the cheese's we go to our crappy [TS]

00:22:15   good well there's nothing there at all [TS]

00:22:16   costs 50 bucks right and we finally [TS]

00:22:18   that's right we went to that goodwill up [TS]

00:22:20   i gotta be like a very photo of you put [TS]

00:22:22   it up you know what you're looking at [TS]

00:22:23   here is everything everything was they [TS]

00:22:26   were all doctors with three pleats [TS]

00:22:27   effort like struck $80 yeah things I was [TS]

00:22:29   not going to touch with my hands [TS]

00:22:31   yeah well then we haul ass and now now [TS]

00:22:33   you're real anxious because and [TS]

00:22:35   everything you put on was too small [TS]

00:22:36   because as we've discussed everything at [TS]

00:22:38   the goodwill only small people died and [TS]

00:22:40   everything in the goodwill unless you [TS]

00:22:41   really spend some time in my experience [TS]

00:22:42   is all tiny tiny men clothes or triple [TS]

00:22:45   extra-large right and luckily you're [TS]

00:22:47   right in the middle your triple [TS]

00:22:48   extra-large because of because the [TS]

00:22:50   triple extra-large people that is [TS]

00:22:52   exactly like hell so anyway it was just [TS]

00:22:54   it was then we got to get the place we [TS]

00:22:56   were measured me what we got to like the [TS]

00:22:58   castro we parked and and i stayed in the [TS]

00:23:01   car and you tore ass in your angus young [TS]

00:23:03   pants and like ran and so what happened [TS]

00:23:05   that you want to like so so I'm you're [TS]

00:23:08   like there's got to be some place in the [TS]

00:23:10   castro it's looking like vintage stores [TS]

00:23:12   fancy boy stores all kinds of stores so [TS]

00:23:14   here we get down to the castro was like [TS]

00:23:16   okay we're just gonna Park in the gas [TS]

00:23:17   station and part in the South car [TS]

00:23:20   spotters you're uncomfortable I'm like [TS]

00:23:22   you guard the car and Iran on the one in [TS]

00:23:25   the left foot rent and to his suit i'm [TS]

00:23:29   in a suit jacket and like underwear [TS]

00:23:31   basically i ran into this vintage store [TS]

00:23:33   and I'm like men's pants and she's like [TS]

00:23:37   in the back you know over by the but [TS]

00:23:39   tuxedo jackets or whatever said it was [TS]

00:23:41   it was some castro was like on market [TS]

00:23:44   street like in that kind of fancy [TS]

00:23:45   stripping having curative masters it was [TS]

00:23:47   like the thrift vintage kind of its real [TS]

00:23:50   upscale that a tear as far as like [TS]

00:23:52   you're not even going somewhere and get [TS]

00:23:54   like a like a skinny tie for a buck [TS]

00:23:56   ya know if I mean that was it was it had [TS]

00:23:58   been it was it was a how do you say carl [TS]

00:24:01   curated store [TS]

00:24:03   and I run in the back and I'm flipping [TS]

00:24:05   through all these things and they're all [TS]

00:24:06   it's just like a bunch of Hammer pants [TS]

00:24:08   and and and sweaters [TS]

00:24:12   yeah just like garbage garbage garbage [TS]

00:24:14   garbage and then I come upon this [TS]

00:24:17   amazing pair of so what were they were [TS]

00:24:22   reproduction buckle back wool pants that [TS]

00:24:28   a forest ranger in the twenties was like [TS]

00:24:33   very full leg very heavy with outdoorsy [TS]

00:24:36   very outdoorsy pans and I looked at the [TS]

00:24:39   man's land there you know kind of high [TS]

00:24:40   waist like buckle back a very earlier [TS]

00:24:43   style and I was like these pants [TS]

00:24:47   not only are the right pans but these [TS]

00:24:49   pants are Dynamite's these people i'm [TS]

00:24:51   gonna walk into this novel steakhouse [TS]

00:24:53   and everybody in the place is gonna have [TS]

00:24:55   to reevaluate what they chose which is [TS]

00:24:58   how I like to walk into a place where he [TS]

00:25:01   worked out it worked out i I'm in now [TS]

00:25:04   then so i go into the dressing room I [TS]

00:25:06   wear the pants out i'm waiting in line [TS]

00:25:09   behind you know behind a guy shorts [TS]

00:25:12   Ichabod Crane now I left it short so [TS]

00:25:15   silly audios I'm wait wait in line [TS]

00:25:18   behind a guy that's where you know like [TS]

00:25:20   yeah like a tri-cornered hats market [TS]

00:25:24   needs in here buying puka shells or [TS]

00:25:26   something and like come on come on come [TS]

00:25:27   on [TS]

00:25:28   I'd throw my money down on you know [TS]

00:25:30   throw through ashdown where I don't have [TS]

00:25:32   to wait [TS]

00:25:33   run back up to the gas station where [TS]

00:25:35   you're singing zipcar spot drumming your [TS]

00:25:37   fingers on that and hopefully we show up [TS]

00:25:41   by the time we got to van ness I [TS]

00:25:43   honestly thought I was going to die you [TS]

00:25:46   you [TS]

00:25:47   we know you know what it wasn't even [TS]

00:25:48   like it was named seem clean your your [TS]

00:25:50   gene hackman and the French Connection [TS]

00:25:51   like banging on the dashboard we were [TS]

00:25:53   going fast chasing the heroin dealers [TS]

00:25:55   but it was a but you know I just it's [TS]

00:25:58   interesting and then again now the fact [TS]

00:25:59   that you left the short scene i would [TS]

00:26:01   take the shorts because I contingencies [TS]

00:26:03   right you never know what's gonna happen [TS]

00:26:04   you want to go skinny-dipping if i want [TS]

00:26:06   to go swimming well you're not [TS]

00:26:07   skinny-dipping but you know pants pants [TS]

00:26:08   swimming in fact what we did is we went [TS]

00:26:10   and everybody everybody after the depth [TS]

00:26:13   of the dinner was smoking pot out of an [TS]

00:26:14   e-cigarette yeah [TS]

00:26:16   and I made that your friend yeah and oh [TS]

00:26:18   yeah you did you did a very good job of [TS]

00:26:20   making fun of that guy stopped doing [TS]

00:26:22   that don't make fun of people anymore i [TS]

00:26:23   don't know that was pretty great haha i [TS]

00:26:25   don't even remember what I said you know [TS]

00:26:27   you know everybody had a few cocktails [TS]

00:26:29   yes and you were just calling attention [TS]

00:26:31   to the fact that his house was vulgar [TS]

00:26:34   this case was for didn't say i don't [TS]

00:26:38   remember any of that [TS]

00:26:40   well you were just like this is a very [TS]

00:26:41   expensive house in a very it's a very [TS]

00:26:44   expensive everything in it is very [TS]

00:26:48   expensive something you know about me is [TS]

00:26:50   there's a couple of situations right [TS]

00:26:51   shutdown shutdown when you yell at me [TS]

00:26:53   and I cry I shut down when people start [TS]

00:26:56   lying compulsively ah I can't hear you [TS]

00:26:59   can sometimes get very mad at that [TS]

00:27:01   well um I you know what it is it's very [TS]

00:27:05   silly compulsive liars and people who [TS]

00:27:06   are ostentatious probably not in this [TS]

00:27:11   case this can actually have a lot of [TS]

00:27:12   dough but who are like like insecure [TS]

00:27:14   falsely fancy high-status you know [TS]

00:27:17   douchebags and and this is something I [TS]

00:27:21   picked up from my college but like [TS]

00:27:22   somebody says oh yeah well you know [TS]

00:27:23   that's my mother's day BMW and go wow [TS]

00:27:26   that's a really expensive car [TS]

00:27:29   yes you did but everything else play [TS]

00:27:31   along but then it gets to like wow [TS]

00:27:33   that's a really big boat up I don't know [TS]

00:27:38   what to say i will not be I will not be [TS]

00:27:40   I'm not gonna be a VC I'm not gonna be [TS]

00:27:41   complicit [TS]

00:27:42   you're not going to go gladly along with [TS]

00:27:44   this little game you're supposed to play [TS]

00:27:46   it's the same reason i can't stand like [TS]

00:27:48   like fake friendly-like tchotchkes kind [TS]

00:27:50   of waiters it just makes me a plastic I [TS]

00:27:52   just like how we doing tonight [TS]

00:27:54   yeah what we're doing is shut up and [TS]

00:27:55   take my order to end up like a gentleman [TS]

00:27:57   and take my fucking order hold the [TS]

00:28:00   tomato between know this party was [TS]

00:28:04   fantastic because every new room that we [TS]

00:28:06   went to in this house there was a new it [TS]

00:28:08   was written it was like a curtain party [TS]

00:28:09   and it was revealed a new level of [TS]

00:28:11   pretentious vulgarity wasn't that it was [TS]

00:28:14   really loud and Carolyn so making tough [TS]

00:28:17   the shower stalls that had terrible [TS]

00:28:21   floors get a bathroom with its own [TS]

00:28:23   bathroom [TS]

00:28:24   yeah and you just everywhere everywhere [TS]

00:28:26   went just increase louder and louder [TS]

00:28:28   wow how much did that cost you have to [TS]

00:28:31   really spend a lot of money on that and [TS]

00:28:34   the guy was oblivious to you that [TS]

00:28:36   oblivious large piece of granite [TS]

00:28:38   yeah that is an artwork that must have [TS]

00:28:40   been very expensive in the store and [TS]

00:28:43   then and I wanna know is that we're [TS]

00:28:45   standing on his roof of his water it [TS]

00:28:47   whatever in Georgia so gorgeous eyes [TS]

00:28:49   stories house [TS]

00:28:50   yeah and I look everybody's looking at [TS]

00:28:53   the beautiful san francisco which is [TS]

00:28:54   panoramic view and I look behind look [TS]

00:28:57   off the back side of the house and down [TS]

00:29:00   in the cavern between his giant house [TS]

00:29:05   and the little 1920s bungalow behind it [TS]

00:29:08   the five foot space between his house [TS]

00:29:12   and the and the wall with this little [TS]

00:29:15   house and I realized that oh my god this [TS]

00:29:19   little bungalow behind his newly [TS]

00:29:21   constructed house ad for 100 years or [TS]

00:29:26   for 90 years that little bungalow had an [TS]

00:29:29   incredible view of san francisco from [TS]

00:29:32   its yard and then this this giant 2001 a [TS]

00:29:37   Space Odyssey modernist monolith slammed [TS]

00:29:40   into the vacant lot on the corner got [TS]

00:29:43   that would that be so frustrating [TS]

00:29:44   blocked out the light and so at as as [TS]

00:29:47   we're all standing around smoking pot [TS]

00:29:49   with the ISA grip myself excluded i say [TS]

00:29:52   to our hosts um so so who are the [TS]

00:29:57   neighbors like you know like what's [TS]

00:30:00   their story and he kind of looked over [TS]

00:30:02   his shoulder down at the house was like [TS]

00:30:03   huh [TS]

00:30:04   oh I don't know and we went back to [TS]

00:30:07   talking about the music business i was [TS]

00:30:08   like wow he doesn't even see the [TS]

00:30:11   aristocracy it doesn't even know them [TS]

00:30:13   like he doesn't even understand doesn't [TS]

00:30:15   recognize that there's a neighborhood [TS]

00:30:17   behind his house [TS]

00:30:19   I was also this is nothing is a [TS]

00:30:21   beautiful house is very nice guy [TS]

00:30:23   it's just a dead never said a bad word [TS]

00:30:26   about the guy [TS]

00:30:27   good good good cook makes her own [TS]

00:30:28   clothes super nice guy [TS]

00:30:30   yeah pretty fish yeah sweetie I never [TS]

00:30:33   married duh yeah now that you know it is [TS]

00:30:37   also it's kind of in that style that [TS]

00:30:39   became popular when lofts started [TS]

00:30:41   getting big in San Francisco so I'm sure [TS]

00:30:42   siblings in in Seattle but you get the [TS]

00:30:45   place that's got the combination of like [TS]

00:30:46   it's it's kind of like a place where [TS]

00:30:48   people would work and it looks a bit [TS]

00:30:49   like a boat and the stairs the the [TS]

00:30:51   stairs i'll have that like wire you know [TS]

00:30:54   high tensile strength like wire stuff [TS]

00:30:56   instead of like normal like you know [TS]

00:30:58   slats or whatever and different layers [TS]

00:31:00   extra-big like kinda like slides like [TS]

00:31:03   you're in the in the Meatpacking [TS]

00:31:04   District and then you get those lights [TS]

00:31:06   with the with the covers over arm so [TS]

00:31:07   that when you're unloading your forklift [TS]

00:31:09   you won't accidentally knock out your [TS]

00:31:10   porch light i right that's funny because [TS]

00:31:12   that if you go to like a city where [TS]

00:31:15   where I mean let's be honest in most [TS]

00:31:17   places maybe and maybe New York sure [TS]

00:31:18   maybe in Seattle sure the most places [TS]

00:31:20   here they made that on purpose in 1998 [TS]

00:31:22   to look like that and it's it's kind of [TS]

00:31:25   I don't know it's not even as good as [TS]

00:31:27   living in a tree house its kind of it's [TS]

00:31:29   kind of like I don't know it's like it's [TS]

00:31:31   like the the the single 45 year old [TS]

00:31:34   man's version of a racecar bed that [TS]

00:31:36   there's anything wrong with that i was [TS]

00:31:38   in you're right Batman comics i'm not [TS]

00:31:39   going to say anything I know but you're [TS]

00:31:41   not sitting in a racecar bed not know [TS]

00:31:44   yeah it's not because they don't make a [TS]

00:31:46   king I got it badly [TS]

00:31:47   yes that the new Seattle uh uh the the [TS]

00:31:50   new university of washington football [TS]

00:31:51   state in the day as and which they're [TS]

00:31:54   they're kind of rebuilding this football [TS]

00:31:56   stand your father was an ardent fan [TS]

00:31:58   right you will see what so we we used to [TS]

00:32:00   go to we used to go to every game we [TS]

00:32:02   could and sit up in the absolute highest [TS]

00:32:04   seed fault then we all hope it would at [TS]

00:32:08   one time in love that story sorry that's [TS]

00:32:11   a new stadium in stadium and i'm driving [TS]

00:32:13   past it and I'm like I'm astonished to [TS]

00:32:17   the point where I almost had to pull [TS]

00:32:18   over because i was so gate mouth at the [TS]

00:32:21   fact that the 700 million dollar bond or [TS]

00:32:26   whatever it was that they pass to build [TS]

00:32:27   this thing and all the architects that [TS]

00:32:29   had to had to pass a [TS]

00:32:32   is rubber-stamp this plan that they have [TS]

00:32:35   made this football stadium of 50,000 [TS]

00:32:38   seat football stadium they made it look [TS]

00:32:40   like a panera bread like what it has it [TS]

00:32:43   has all the are presently have bread [TS]

00:32:45   bowls redbull ones let's look at Baghdad [TS]

00:32:47   it's more like a big big round ii i know [TS]

00:32:49   you know what panera bread is one of [TS]

00:32:51   those one of those strip mall a strip [TS]

00:32:54   mall be sure okay out in the out in the [TS]

00:32:57   hinterlands it looks like it's just a [TS]

00:32:59   man should look like that that's that's [TS]

00:33:00   terrible yeah it's so architectural II [TS]

00:33:03   like that [TS]

00:33:04   undefined it's just it's like oh you [TS]

00:33:07   it's like Tinkertoys plus faux brick [TS]

00:33:12   well done round of applause for [TS]

00:33:13   everybody like and I'm sure that there's [TS]

00:33:17   ten percent for art or whatever and you [TS]

00:33:19   walk inside and there is a statue of a [TS]

00:33:22   like a seagull or a or highest vote Joe [TS]

00:33:27   Heisman for somebody but like the lights [TS]

00:33:31   bit but the exterior of this thing could [TS]

00:33:36   not be like it isn't unappealing it is [TS]

00:33:39   non appealing there's no there's nothing [TS]

00:33:42   you just look at it and and your heart [TS]

00:33:45   just keeps pumping at the same rate that [TS]

00:33:48   it was but thank you [TS]

00:33:50   I think he nailed it it's not not unlike [TS]

00:33:54   the the fake boathouse or or fake [TS]

00:33:55   warehouse thing in that sometimes you [TS]

00:33:58   can look at something like that and you [TS]

00:34:00   can't immediately put your finger on it [TS]

00:34:02   like you could say okay this is vulgar [TS]

00:34:03   and garish and like weird but but maybe [TS]

00:34:06   on closer inspection you like you know [TS]

00:34:07   what that's not real brick like that's [TS]

00:34:09   you know that's the equivalent of wood [TS]

00:34:10   paneling like you you put that as a face [TS]

00:34:12   on the cheapest conceivable earthquake [TS]

00:34:15   safe building materials to keep the [TS]

00:34:18   place from you know just falling down [TS]

00:34:20   the first time people sit in it but [TS]

00:34:21   there's something about it that like and [TS]

00:34:22   and you know and even though giants game [TS]

00:34:25   even though giants game you want with [TS]

00:34:27   mr. fancy right i have never been to a [TS]

00:34:29   giants k RR with a very fancy stadium [TS]

00:34:32   you know I mean airway had a career [TS]

00:34:34   ahead of the curve on the busy bee [TS]

00:34:35   Candlestick Park which is free i'm using [TS]

00:34:37   there's like a whole team of like they [TS]

00:34:39   hire a bunch of kayakers right to catch [TS]

00:34:41   their their their old balls I think [TS]

00:34:43   they're interns no no there there [TS]

00:34:45   unpaid ball catchers like a lot of [TS]

00:34:46   people in high school mhm and in [TS]

00:34:50   anybody's you know it's got it all its [TS]

00:34:51   got the garlic fries it's got the you [TS]

00:34:53   know of course you get the bread bowl [TS]

00:34:55   with the sourdough bread bowls sure we [TS]

00:34:58   got one of those here in Seattle is that [TS]

00:35:00   shit yeah it's got a wolfgang pucks in [TS]

00:35:03   it uh-huh [TS]

00:35:04   although I guess every year for your [TS]

00:35:05   food yes california pizza kitchen or [TS]

00:35:08   whatever but this is the artist areas [TS]

00:35:10   where she was going to have to look at [TS]

00:35:11   just what I'm saying ok alright let's [TS]

00:35:13   get sushi there because of the Pacific [TS]

00:35:15   and whatnot [TS]

00:35:15   yeah we do we are Seattle is known for [TS]

00:35:17   its seafood you know what's good my wife [TS]

00:35:19   won't shut up about those noodles we got [TS]

00:35:20   that one time [TS]

00:35:22   Oh last thing is gonna be fascinating to [TS]

00:35:23   people you have the the heat that the [TS]

00:35:25   high nutrition shape barley green oh my [TS]

00:35:28   goodness says our office for I'm sure [TS]

00:35:31   I'm sure our listeners particular [TS]

00:35:32   international listeners are showing this [TS]

00:35:34   smell [TS]

00:35:35   let's let's let's let's bring it back [TS]

00:35:38   let's bring it back to what we're eating [TS]

00:35:40   these days because right yeah I you know [TS]

00:35:42   but you know what you know where the big [TS]

00:35:45   hack of this whole thing every time i [TS]

00:35:48   say hack you sniffle here like your [TS]

00:35:53   science fiction book words like my big I [TS]

00:35:56   big but my big hack your big axe John [TS]

00:36:03   was I made all this bacon right I made [TS]

00:36:06   two pounds of bacon is made of bacon act [TS]

00:36:08   is a bacon mac and you think you've got [TS]

00:36:11   every bacon hack but i'm telling you [TS]

00:36:13   this is a new 1i think i almost wrote a [TS]

00:36:15   book about it I got it I got those [TS]

00:36:17   little snack bags not that the little [TS]

00:36:20   Ziploc snack bags and talk about the [TS]

00:36:21   half-size bags that are only good for [TS]

00:36:24   like ten candy corns right like you [TS]

00:36:28   would get like a like a like a dime bag [TS]

00:36:30   or like you don't like little rolling [TS]

00:36:31   ones like the kids snacks materials and [TS]

00:36:33   that kind of that's right that's right [TS]

00:36:34   little short short bag and so I got all [TS]

00:36:39   this bacon cooked it still exists and I [TS]

00:36:41   have cooked it so that it's chris but [TS]

00:36:43   it's still warm and pliable and i put [TS]

00:36:47   for Bacon's / ziploc bag so i'm making [TS]

00:36:52   for bacon bacon part 44 script bacon [TS]

00:36:55   pods [TS]

00:36:56   and I love his hack then I push all the [TS]

00:37:01   air bacon and you put that pic i push [TS]

00:37:03   all the air out of the bag right and [TS]

00:37:06   then I'm stacking bacon pod servings in [TS]

00:37:10   the freezer [TS]

00:37:12   that's kid and then every time I'm like [TS]

00:37:15   bacon [TS]

00:37:16   that's like a 20-second reheat isn't it [TS]

00:37:18   I mean it doesn't take long [TS]

00:37:19   no here's the head it's a double hacker [TS]

00:37:21   this had double hack I pulled the first [TS]

00:37:25   time I grabbed the first bacon pot out i [TS]

00:37:29   was like huh i'm on my way to the [TS]

00:37:32   microwave to put him in there for a [TS]

00:37:33   30-second reheat and I break off a [TS]

00:37:36   little chunk of it and put it in my [TS]

00:37:39   mouth [TS]

00:37:39   no frozen bacon what I treat is like the [TS]

00:37:46   popsicle of the gods [TS]

00:37:48   it is so delicious you you like the [TS]

00:37:50   thomas and cured meats because it [TS]

00:37:53   because of the the way that bacon is [TS]

00:37:55   because of its consistency its natural [TS]

00:37:58   crunchy meaty consistency freezing it [TS]

00:38:02   does not change its consistency at all [TS]

00:38:05   it is still just like crispy bacon see [TS]

00:38:09   but it is going to rain you want to [TS]

00:38:11   drain it very well i'm guessing [TS]

00:38:12   oh yeah youyou as you're cooking the [TS]

00:38:14   bacon you take it out you put on some [TS]

00:38:15   paper towels so it's not covered and [TS]

00:38:16   coagulated fat [TS]

00:38:18   ah that sounds good and then frozen [TS]

00:38:21   bacon and you know four strips at a time [TS]

00:38:23   perfect serving you get four strips ok [TS]

00:38:26   so then frozen bacon in a in a mini bag [TS]

00:38:29   check you you you make it make a fist [TS]

00:38:33   you crunch up the bacon in the mini bag [TS]

00:38:35   and there's your topping for your for [TS]

00:38:38   your quarter iceberg lettuce salad with [TS]

00:38:41   blue cheese dressing [TS]

00:38:43   you got this shit wire time my friend [TS]

00:38:45   boom boom boom [TS]

00:38:46   every day a new use for four strips of [TS]

00:38:49   frozen bacon [TS]

00:38:50   huh because you're not going to have to [TS]

00:38:52   wonder you're not sitting there cuz it's [TS]

00:38:53   a little bit of a production like making [TS]

00:38:54   pancakes almost said something like I [TS]

00:38:56   should make bacon like it kind of takes [TS]

00:38:58   a few minutes [TS]

00:38:59   yeah and you just have it around my [TS]

00:39:01   gravel house gets greasy as fuck it's [TS]

00:39:03   terrible and once you're making bacon as [TS]

00:39:05   you know it is much less effort to keep [TS]

00:39:08   baking [TS]

00:39:09   taken right you have you have some you [TS]

00:39:11   have inertia you have bacon inertia [TS]

00:39:13   that's right and you could if making two [TS]

00:39:15   pounds is like making ten pounds and [TS]

00:39:17   it's never enough [TS]

00:39:18   I don't even get into the whole internet [TS]

00:39:18   bacon think it's a fucking cares but but [TS]

00:39:21   but i will tell you every time I've [TS]

00:39:22   always think I have enough bacon I I now [TS]

00:39:24   by three pounds of bacon when I know [TS]

00:39:26   you're coming to the house and still [TS]

00:39:27   it's like crab legs are or you know or [TS]

00:39:29   something that was never enough right so [TS]

00:39:31   three pounds of bacon make it put them [TS]

00:39:35   in bacon pods freedom and you will end [TS]

00:39:38   your whole it's it's it's a complete [TS]

00:39:40   transformation the great got a job to [TS]

00:39:42   you can take it to your work that you [TS]

00:39:44   don't really have to put in the freezer [TS]

00:39:46   and you can have a treat [TS]

00:39:47   anytime you get a cup of coffee as a [TS]

00:39:49   fucking frozen bacon have fun for bacon [TS]

00:39:51   and that tonight I want a good ham [TS]

00:39:53   probably not as good because its [TS]

00:39:56   consistency it was independent shippers [TS]

00:39:59   part of what makes it incredible is that [TS]

00:40:01   the bacon is already thin and crispy and [TS]

00:40:04   freezing it doesn't doesn't really [TS]

00:40:06   change that like they the mouthfeel if [TS]

00:40:09   you will permit me to use the term [TS]

00:40:11   mouthfeel boom the mouthfeel of the [TS]

00:40:14   bacon is unchanged except it is now [TS]

00:40:17   freezing cold like a popsicle [TS]

00:40:20   let's take a couple calls we have a riot [TS]

00:40:22   on line from Grand Rapids he had some [TS]

00:40:24   questions about things that he could do [TS]

00:40:26   with leftover roast beef Ryan you're on [TS]

00:40:29   our online Orion haha haha car food [TS]

00:40:36   here's what I'm thinking really hate [TS]

00:40:38   when people talk about food like it i [TS]

00:40:40   know i like we do I hate it's like it's [TS]

00:40:42   like orgasms and farts like I just I [TS]

00:40:44   don't want to think about anybody else's [TS]

00:40:45   other people's food or orgasms are parts [TS]

00:40:49   minor I never want to think about other [TS]

00:40:53   people's parts except half of twitter [TS]

00:40:55   now it's just people talking about the [TS]

00:40:56   farms never let me keep up other [TS]

00:40:59   people's orgasms points really a [TS]

00:41:01   big-hearted fella are people people are [TS]

00:41:04   actually talking about the fart [TS]

00:41:07   I think it's one of those so you mean it [TS]

00:41:09   and Alan gee Ashley no I'm time I mean [TS]

00:41:12   literally about their farts I I feel [TS]

00:41:13   like it is a kind of I might have done [TS]

00:41:17   that thing so three or four times in my [TS]

00:41:19   Twitter life I have to go back to [TS]

00:41:23   twitter I've followed a few people and [TS]

00:41:26   then followed the people that they seem [TS]

00:41:27   to think we're the best and pretty soon [TS]

00:41:29   you can end up in a cul-de-sac [TS]

00:41:31   yeah of people were like oh I'm over [TS]

00:41:34   here is a ball at tompkins singularity [TS]

00:41:37   yeah were you know like I ended up kind [TS]

00:41:40   of over in the Jake football nest camp [TS]

00:41:43   is not recently and you know and you [TS]

00:41:47   follow people you can follow my I'm fine [TS]

00:41:49   with all that but everyone smile i [TS]

00:41:51   realized that i have followed numerous [TS]

00:41:53   people and now i'm over somewhere in a [TS]

00:41:56   side land that feels like the center of [TS]

00:42:00   everything but it's really just what [TS]

00:42:02   this group of people is talking about [TS]

00:42:03   and I'm ready to kind of back out of [TS]

00:42:06   that room quietly yeah and close the [TS]

00:42:09   door behind me and that that group of [TS]

00:42:10   people is the people have been following [TS]

00:42:12   some of them are weird Twitter [TS]

00:42:14   Superstars and you know various Twitter [TS]

00:42:19   comedians and I'm just I'm ready to kind [TS]

00:42:21   of just back out there and close the [TS]

00:42:24   door [TS]

00:42:24   yeah I yes I I don't like to follow that [TS]

00:42:30   many people on Twitter who are like me [TS]

00:42:33   yeah um and I really I with Pats [TS]

00:42:36   conversation i I just I can't follow too [TS]

00:42:38   many of the comedy insiders it's no it's [TS]

00:42:40   too exhausting [TS]

00:42:41   no it's too bad and and and the new [TS]

00:42:43   thing that is not really they're not [TS]

00:42:44   funny [TS]

00:42:44   there are hundreds it's not like going [TS]

00:42:46   to marinas funny like this other people [TS]

00:42:48   were funny they can be funny but last [TS]

00:42:50   time i watched the ck is one of my [TS]

00:42:51   all-time favorite performers his his [TS]

00:42:53   Twitter was like the bulletin board at [TS]

00:42:55   the laundromat [TS]

00:42:56   yeah it was just awful is going to be [TS]

00:42:57   over it sloppy joes this week that's [TS]

00:43:00   great yeah dawg [TS]

00:43:02   professor gigatons video handjobs the [TS]

00:43:06   people that I'm really enjoying on the [TS]

00:43:07   internet now are the ones who very [TS]

00:43:09   selflessly curate a a stream of interest [TS]

00:43:13   right [TS]

00:43:14   stream of consciousness with sword [TS]

00:43:16   like a blog is to be likable of AR [TS]

00:43:19   microblogging that's exactly it is a [TS]

00:43:21   microblogging platform microblogging [TS]

00:43:24   somebody should invest in this idea [TS]

00:43:26   microblogging mhm but they can't be a [TS]

00:43:30   thought leader John where they let me [TS]

00:43:32   let me just can you just drive on this [TS]

00:43:34   for me that you so you're going on [TS]

00:43:36   inside you [TS]

00:43:36   ok let's put a pin in it well you know [TS]

00:43:38   we need to do we need to get you on musk [TS]

00:43:40   on this just talking about you please [TS]

00:43:43   remember where I heard about the google [TS]

00:43:46   balloon story now it's that it's that [TS]

00:43:49   bill gates thinks it might not be a [TS]

00:43:51   great idea what well you know when I was [TS]

00:43:54   with them until you got to that comma [TS]

00:43:56   because as long as their kid with [TS]

00:43:58   malaria oh god no I get it he's like a [TS]

00:44:01   few people help the world the way his [TS]

00:44:03   foundation helps the world like in fact [TS]

00:44:05   apparently turns out i don't know [TS]

00:44:07   because I can't afford to get the Dillon [TS]

00:44:09   gates foundation on my ass and my friend [TS]

00:44:11   of the bill and melinda gates foundation [TS]

00:44:12   is also listening to our conversations [TS]

00:44:15   and keeping a log i think they're much [TS]

00:44:18   more likely to do something with the [TS]

00:44:19   information that I couldn't understand [TS]

00:44:21   you might come and inoculate me in a way [TS]

00:44:24   that makes my life very complicated and [TS]

00:44:26   not even looking at a time frame i can [TS]

00:44:28   understand it might be I wake up like a [TS]

00:44:29   year and a half from now and i'm just [TS]

00:44:30   i'm just sitting in like Kaitlyn play [TS]

00:44:32   with my spit or something but sitting [TS]

00:44:34   under an apple tree in New England which [TS]

00:44:36   I think read about the good of balloons [TS]

00:44:37   a 20 bill gates ill gates [TS]

00:44:43   hey I like that pearl jam single i was [TS]

00:44:46   their new pearl jam song and they get a [TS]

00:44:47   pearl jam song it's good i don't know [TS]

00:44:49   why you have to that every once in [TS]

00:44:51   awhile pearl jam you know surprises me [TS]

00:44:53   with a new rock jam that I feel like is [TS]

00:44:56   a is totally rad valid rock jam yeah but [TS]

00:45:00   what happened that hasn't happened [TS]

00:45:02   before it might be my first like [TS]

00:45:03   programs i really liked you on the whole [TS]

00:45:06   pearl jam and nice guys never married to [TS]

00:45:09   to be i like i like them all I like them [TS]

00:45:11   personally [TS]

00:45:12   they seem like they are the Bruce [TS]

00:45:14   Springsteen of the Northwest already [TS]

00:45:18   here [TS]

00:45:19   I found that I that I understand why [TS]

00:45:22   people like Bruce Springsteen I [TS]

00:45:23   understand his appeal was updated the [TS]

00:45:26   list John let's go through these [TS]

00:45:28   together religion tradition winter [TS]

00:45:32   though I personally I think we shouldn't [TS]

00:45:38   talk about music oh no sorry not the [TS]

00:45:40   music the culture is that i personally [TS]

00:45:43   don't don't [TS]

00:45:44   I the bruce springsteen does not move me [TS]

00:45:47   okay put him on the list too [TS]

00:45:49   and you know and i have a friend now we [TS]

00:45:52   have we have a friend i have a friend of [TS]

00:45:54   british guy that you do you think you [TS]

00:45:56   might know you got a president who is [TS]

00:45:59   who has become personal friends with [TS]

00:46:01   bruce springsteen it goes over to his [TS]

00:46:03   house [TS]

00:46:03   oh and when i get and keep getting like [TS]

00:46:06   techie like they'll blow up my phone [TS]

00:46:08   like you know uh I guess where i am and [TS]

00:46:12   I'm like man that's creepy shouldn't and [TS]

00:46:14   that's really it is like gets a hit him [TS]

00:46:16   and Bruce sitting around was impressed [TS]

00:46:18   and they're watching tax 20 fixing his [TS]

00:46:20   car with Louise know he's like he's like [TS]

00:46:22   he's bragging about being your house all [TS]

00:46:23   my friends like papers i'm going to send [TS]

00:46:25   a picture you to my friend is that cool [TS]

00:46:26   and he's like sure [TS]

00:46:28   and so you know sends a sense of like a [TS]

00:46:30   selfie at least a really really nice guy [TS]

00:46:33   seems like an amazing bc is going very [TS]

00:46:35   very nice gain generous in a quiet way [TS]

00:46:37   which I really like I am dying for the [TS]

00:46:40   opportunity to go to Bruce Springsteen's [TS]

00:46:43   house because this is not a completely [TS]

00:46:45   unrealistic opportunity now who like it [TS]

00:46:48   is conceivable that at some point I will [TS]

00:46:49   be back east i will be in the new jersey [TS]

00:46:51   area and my friend will say why don't we [TS]

00:46:55   drop in on Bruce find my sext him i'll [TS]

00:46:58   text entry Springsteen not kiss let's do [TS]

00:47:00   this [TS]

00:47:00   ok so help me understand i don't want to [TS]

00:47:03   get I don't get what I want to find out [TS]

00:47:04   go ahead well there's so there's two [TS]

00:47:06   there's two problems shielding myself [TS]

00:47:08   John because i really like Bruce [TS]

00:47:09   Springsteen and I don't want to get into [TS]

00:47:11   a thing with you makes me cry i know i [TS]

00:47:13   don't want to get into thing that makes [TS]

00:47:14   you cry either but i but i am afraid [TS]

00:47:16   first of all that's saying that Bruce [TS]

00:47:19   Springsteen does not move me is like [TS]

00:47:21   there is a Bruce Springsteen NSA I think [TS]

00:47:26   he does not care when I don't know he [TS]

00:47:29   doesn't care but they're up with all [TS]

00:47:30   those people that are like out in the [TS]

00:47:32   bushes around it [TS]

00:47:33   house or who Fredo and then also when i [TS]

00:47:37   get there like I'm not sure what I'm [TS]

00:47:40   going to say like I really liked the way [TS]

00:47:44   that you i really like the way that you [TS]

00:47:48   totally dominated the culture of america [TS]

00:47:50   during my high school years just for my [TS]

00:47:52   benefit [TS]

00:47:53   it was really amazing to read about aj [TS]

00:47:55   webmin the guy who liked was the [TS]

00:47:59   self-appointed Dylan scholar he's like [TS]

00:48:01   go through don't Dylan's trash and then [TS]

00:48:03   like Dylan comes out and starts yelling [TS]

00:48:05   at me record the conversation and shit [TS]

00:48:07   happy I did I got that you like a team [TS]

00:48:10   and yeah JJ weber it's really real [TS]

00:48:16   creepy but like you imagine like that [TS]

00:48:17   somebody out there who I guess is like a [TS]

00:48:19   royal watcher he mentioned a royal [TS]

00:48:21   watcher [TS]

00:48:22   well there's all I mean there's like [TS]

00:48:24   yeah they're self-appointed vultures [TS]

00:48:26   like in all the trees watching everybody [TS]

00:48:28   rekha I told you didn't I mean that's [TS]

00:48:33   what I know that's a fantastic line its [TS]

00:48:36   issued reasons like it seems seems like [TS]

00:48:38   as you're driving up the long long lane [TS]

00:48:42   the-the-the-the lane with with the with [TS]

00:48:45   giant alder trees on either side that [TS]

00:48:48   leads up to Bruce Springsteen's house [TS]

00:48:50   and there are probably like some hundred [TS]

00:48:52   and fifty thousand dollar thoroughbred [TS]

00:48:54   horses trotting along side your card and [TS]

00:48:57   since the person somehow a personal [TS]

00:48:59   union steam see the same boat steel mill [TS]

00:49:02   he's getting out there building will not [TS]

00:49:05   be all tired school hard today because [TS]

00:49:12   you don't like Billy Joel for the same [TS]

00:49:14   reason right up your rental minivan [TS]

00:49:16   suddenly transforms into a 57 t-bird [TS]

00:49:19   wow you're like wow did I get here I [TS]

00:49:21   mean I mean it's like I like I'm in no [TS]

00:49:24   Willy Wonka lame and hit that button [TS]

00:49:27   why wouldn't he just hit why turns it [TS]

00:49:29   into a finished summary but all you're [TS]

00:49:33   not a major an artificial bay like like [TS]

00:49:36   chris Christie is up there with [TS]

00:49:38   binoculars and a and a crossbow and [TS]

00:49:42   everybody's up there like you don't love [TS]

00:49:45   Bruce enough you know the list [TS]

00:49:46   people that love Bruce that should be [TS]

00:49:48   able to go to Bruce's house before me is [TS]

00:49:53   you know because that's the feeling [TS]

00:49:55   those people have they love Bruce so [TS]

00:49:57   much if anybody's gonna get to go to [TS]

00:49:59   Bruce's house it should be me and the [TS]

00:50:01   list that list is like you're like [TS]

00:50:03   you're looking T doing amazon.com wrong [TS]

00:50:05   I don't even know where to begin [TS]

00:50:07   like you don't want you don't like Bruce [TS]

00:50:09   Springsteen as a person you don't like [TS]

00:50:11   his music if you have another thing [TS]

00:50:13   you've already said you stipulate you [TS]

00:50:14   have nothing to talk to him about what [TS]

00:50:16   you're worried that his personal NSA [TS]

00:50:18   which includes a still rather portly [TS]

00:50:20   Bowman is going to somehow get this [TS]

00:50:22   information and then a scotch the trip [TS]

00:50:24   that you don't want to have with the [TS]

00:50:26   musician that you don't really like more [TS]

00:50:28   if not scotch it then i don't know i [TS]

00:50:30   mean just you know how it is when you [TS]

00:50:32   when when it's just driving reached your [TS]

00:50:35   driving up a country lane and you feel [TS]

00:50:36   like people are in the trees scorning [TS]

00:50:38   you [TS]

00:50:39   oh yes that is terrible video a [TS]

00:50:42   self-appointed vultures in all the trees [TS]

00:50:45   yeah well ya know I i I've been [TS]

00:50:47   disturbed by trees I've been thinking a [TS]

00:50:48   lot about bows and arrows lately serious [TS]

00:50:50   oh because you're reading comic books [TS]

00:50:52   again no also also yeah i watch this [TS]

00:50:54   martial arts movie walk see is that the [TS]

00:50:57   name of the genre called hero and [TS]

00:50:59   there's a there's this you can see this [TS]

00:51:00   movie [TS]

00:51:01   you gotta move there's no question it's [TS]

00:51:02   it's amazing it's like the gates of [TS]

00:51:04   greatest martial arts movie of all time [TS]

00:51:06   and hero with the with the with the jet [TS]

00:51:09   li ya gently and also i think that means [TS]

00:51:12   we can rush along the treetops right [TS]

00:51:14   yes but this is better than Crouching [TS]

00:51:16   Tiger is such as legions he can run [TS]

00:51:18   along we can we can jump from leaf to [TS]

00:51:20   leave [TS]

00:51:21   it's astonishing we do it but was my [TS]

00:51:23   point oh yeah eras man they got some [TS]

00:51:26   great poner scenes were lucky you know [TS]

00:51:28   you got a big army can imagine how scary [TS]

00:51:30   would be to be somewhere when hundreds [TS]

00:51:32   and hundreds of guys with all different [TS]

00:51:34   kinds of bows and you know crossbows and [TS]

00:51:37   longbows and the kind of laying your [TS]

00:51:39   back and pull the thing back [TS]

00:51:40   imagine seeing like 15,000 arrows coming [TS]

00:51:45   at you that's like that's like the skate [TS]

00:51:47   just about the scariest thing I can [TS]

00:51:48   think of its I literally all I have done [TS]

00:51:52   for months and months is imagine what it [TS]

00:51:57   would be like huh to to be [TS]

00:52:00   they're well we've talked about the [TS]

00:52:01   Battle of Hastings yeah we sure have [TS]

00:52:03   and we end the lack of the the lack of [TS]

00:52:06   of bowman on the English side we've [TS]

00:52:10   talked about a drink or yes like a rain [TS]

00:52:14   of arrows you know you don't mean it's [TS]

00:52:16   not like a bullet where you don't see it [TS]

00:52:18   coming [TS]

00:52:19   it's like you do see it coming just a [TS]

00:52:22   little italy one that is your name on [TS]

00:52:24   and nothing to do about it nothing [TS]

00:52:26   there's just like a way you could outrun [TS]

00:52:27   it [TS]

00:52:28   you just you crouch down you put your [TS]

00:52:30   little you put your little would shield [TS]

00:52:32   over your head and you just because this [TS]

00:52:35   is the terrible thing in most cases if [TS]

00:52:37   you got an arrow in the knee [TS]

00:52:40   that's no better than one between the [TS]

00:52:42   eyes [TS]

00:52:43   you're just you're just gonna die of [TS]

00:52:45   infection now right past the glory the [TS]

00:52:48   guys like I am more scared of dying or [TS]

00:52:50   being hurt and if you think about it [TS]

00:52:51   it's really really more scared of being [TS]

00:52:54   hurt in that case of the like whatever a [TS]

00:52:56   sepsis or whatever like the fact that [TS]

00:52:57   you're gonna sit there they're gonna [TS]

00:52:58   have to move on and the best thing that [TS]

00:53:00   could happen if your friend comes up and [TS]

00:53:01   kills you because you're just going to [TS]

00:53:02   die of an infection in horrible pain [TS]

00:53:04   that you can shut the gut with the arrow [TS]

00:53:06   the hell is that cool that's like an [TS]

00:53:09   artillery right same idea you got from [TS]

00:53:12   so far away but you see that I bet you [TS]

00:53:13   got a good ten seconds to go [TS]

00:53:15   holy shit i just hear this like she was [TS]

00:53:20   this movie it's good rain of arrows [TS]

00:53:22   coming down and they bring them with [TS]

00:53:24   swords it's really cool when you went [TS]

00:53:27   when you survive an attack of of archers [TS]

00:53:31   I bet you feel pretty good about [TS]

00:53:32   yourself especially if you can become a [TS]

00:53:35   bench of planks did to meet you [TS]

00:53:38   that was stupid I'm sorry I said that [TS]

00:53:43   should tell you about some more about [TS]

00:53:45   food he was a really stupid comedian who [TS]

00:53:47   was so funny he was so state has not [TS]

00:53:50   aged well John so much that late with [TS]

00:53:52   this possible exception of the [TS]

00:53:54   pheromones majors Richard Pryor has aged [TS]

00:53:57   best buy out but Robin Williams I mean [TS]

00:54:01   Bob Newhart what's my sensibility stands [TS]

00:54:04   up a thousand times but totally [TS]

00:54:05   bulletproof [TS]

00:54:06   oh my goodness still so funny so weird [TS]

00:54:09   yeah and its way I mean but why would I [TS]

00:54:11   mean it's been very inspirational to me [TS]

00:54:12   that [TS]

00:54:13   the button-down mind yeah the one side [TS]

00:54:15   of a phone conversation is funny [TS]

00:54:16   it's just very very funny but now Robin [TS]

00:54:18   Williams my gosh now I don't stipulate [TS]

00:54:21   here this this could also want to talk [TS]

00:54:23   about Billy Joel nice guy [TS]

00:54:25   nice guy I'm Williams didn't run William [TS]

00:54:28   stories [TS]

00:54:28   well you met Robin Williams now now you [TS]

00:54:30   know it's not appropriate [TS]

00:54:31   I'm i was going to say when my family [TS]

00:54:34   was staying at this house in another [TS]

00:54:37   state this person had a giant like [TS]

00:54:41   probably at least least like a hundred [TS]

00:54:43   and fifty cassette tapes and I think [TS]

00:54:45   this person who owns the house that we [TS]

00:54:47   were staying in renting was is probably [TS]

00:54:50   five to 10 years older maybe just five [TS]

00:54:53   to eight years older [TS]

00:54:54   because it's like three pat benatar [TS]

00:54:56   records five or six Billy Joel records [TS]

00:54:59   like three REM albums that aren't that [TS]

00:55:02   great but like me and you know [TS]

00:55:04   everything already ready Murr fear or [TS]

00:55:06   the water or not [TS]

00:55:08   yeah Hollywood Bowl or whatever yeah but [TS]

00:55:11   I first of all its first time my [TS]

00:55:12   daughter ever saw cassette tape which [TS]

00:55:15   really was that link i mean i-i don't [TS]

00:55:18   exaggerate it for fake comedic effect [TS]

00:55:20   that was really fucking funny she opened [TS]

00:55:23   up she didn't know how to open the case [TS]

00:55:24   can remember like they're kind of weird [TS]

00:55:25   and fragile sure i was talking about [TS]

00:55:27   open [TS]

00:55:28   no remember the later ones we had the [TS]

00:55:29   full Jay Carney jay carlin you cards [TS]

00:55:31   like all guy around you have a set of [TS]

00:55:34   the they make assets of i'm sure they [TS]

00:55:36   made like 50 kajillion Graham LPS but [TS]

00:55:40   did you ever have two sets of like [TS]

00:55:42   washing his arm to make sure that we [TS]

00:55:46   never made so so the Western State [TS]

00:55:49   hurricanes only ever really had a [TS]

00:55:53   cassette right the less cassette right [TS]

00:55:55   yeah he's still have a copy of that [TS]

00:55:57   still have a couple of them you but by [TS]

00:56:00   the time the first long winters record [TS]

00:56:01   came out it was the everybody knew that [TS]

00:56:04   cassettes were not a viable form of of [TS]

00:56:07   releasing music is it strange because [TS]

00:56:09   you know I a I went through a phase [TS]

00:56:13   where I mean it's kind of on the bubble [TS]

00:56:14   I had a stereo but let's do in my car [TS]

00:56:17   circa nineteen eighty-eight of course i [TS]

00:56:19   would have to dub it you know from the [TS]

00:56:21   lp to the cassette that was an arch like [TS]

00:56:23   to get the loudness exactly right and [TS]

00:56:25   remember [TS]

00:56:26   Richard had a CD player that would scan [TS]

00:56:27   the entire CD to find the loudest point [TS]

00:56:30   so you can set the set how cool work in [TS]

00:56:33   that letter idea what they're not gonna [TS]

00:56:34   beat now I might have been a Macintosh [TS]

00:56:36   i'm not sure but our Fisher but probably [TS]

00:56:41   the best fisherman k bye dad but yea was [TS]

00:56:44   always getting intermediate like meeting [TS]

00:56:46   because unless you were John Lennon you [TS]

00:56:47   don't have a record player in your car [TS]

00:56:48   so but here's the thing if you bought [TS]

00:56:51   the cassette copy of something that [TS]

00:56:52   sounded like shit compared to the album [TS]

00:56:54   I I never did that once and it never [TS]

00:56:56   made sense to me I would see people with [TS]

00:56:58   their with the cassette liked it you [TS]

00:57:00   know of of the pretenders or whatever [TS]

00:57:02   and I'd be like why didn't you just buy [TS]

00:57:03   the LPN recorded onto a 99-cent consent [TS]

00:57:07   yeah you get to wrecked for the price of [TS]

00:57:09   one it's true it's true and I mean like [TS]

00:57:12   I remember a lot of Alcatraz the the [TS]

00:57:15   first posters for the Steve I one had [TS]

00:57:17   that on cassette had the rainbow one [TS]

00:57:20   with since you been gone [TS]

00:57:21   yeah like still pit box for that anyway [TS]

00:57:24   this guy who is this my daughter's [TS]

00:57:25   introduction to cassettes and it was her [TS]

00:57:27   first major introduction to Billy Joel [TS]

00:57:28   because I played a lot i think i might [TS]

00:57:31   be a little bit back into Billy John [TS]

00:57:32   only God he's got a couple of really [TS]

00:57:34   good records [TS]

00:57:35   well I mean Billy Billy Joel is perfect [TS]

00:57:37   he's perfect for someone your daughter's [TS]

00:57:39   age [TS]

00:57:40   it's the right about it that's right [TS]

00:57:42   about the state elections any season [TS]

00:57:44   definitely it son saying I'm saying that [TS]

00:57:47   it's kids music that didn't very hard [TS]

00:57:49   today [TS]

00:57:50   that's a great Jam no I think that's a [TS]

00:57:53   great record [TS]

00:57:55   yeah I i gotta say allentown I still [TS]

00:57:58   kept myself singing it that and that is [TS]

00:58:00   that is Beatles record and you know to [TS]

00:58:01   get some when there's one song on there [TS]

00:58:03   I know John I hate this I hate when this [TS]

00:58:05   happens so many songs from about 1981 to [TS]

00:58:10   even like 1990 suffer [TS]

00:58:13   I'm not gonna want the gating but i'm [TS]

00:58:14   just gonna say like through the eighties [TS]

00:58:15   like the production is so thin it's [TS]

00:58:18   crazy and that the keyboards that the [TS]

00:58:20   senses are so lame [TS]

00:58:22   this is one song called surprises it's [TS]

00:58:24   really good don't get excited and then [TS]

00:58:27   surprises [TS]

00:58:29   and uh it's a really good ya heard [TS]

00:58:31   that's nice [TS]

00:58:32   like its it really it's got that like a [TS]

00:58:35   prophet or a one of the San Francisco [TS]

00:58:37   yamaha dx7 i think was before that but [TS]

00:58:39   it's well god remember when the dx7 got [TS]

00:58:41   popular super frustrating to it's on [TS]

00:58:44   every record for the next five years [TS]

00:58:46   whatever here Tina Turner want to hear [TS]

00:58:48   that what's love got to do with a [TS]

00:58:49   private dancer record to me it just [TS]

00:58:51   sounds like somebody in a mall planet [TS]

00:58:53   demo of the dx7 get right or your door [TS]

00:58:55   for dinner yeah it's it's like church [TS]

00:58:58   music because that's Monica that was all [TS]

00:59:00   like every record [TS]

00:59:01   uh-huh dx7 harmonica i said you know i [TS]

00:59:06   feel like i feel like i should make a [TS]

00:59:07   record with gated something I should [TS]

00:59:09   make a record [TS]

00:59:09   full stop if i was going to be planning [TS]

00:59:12   a general plan with gated snares and dx7 [TS]

00:59:17   harmonicas and like yeah sure just radio [TS]

00:59:20   shacks and icing like Billy Joel on no [TS]

00:59:25   no you have to do you believe the goal [TS]

00:59:28   you know John can give you a freebie his [TS]

00:59:31   lyrics not always great and it looked [TS]

00:59:35   actually sometimes just actually don't [TS]

00:59:37   make sense [TS]

00:59:38   I never really realized it until this [TS]

00:59:40   listen through over vacation but some of [TS]

00:59:43   these lyrics at one point in allentown I [TS]

00:59:46   think he said something about the [TS]

00:59:47   graduations hang on the wall [TS]

00:59:49   yeah graduations hang on the wall but [TS]

00:59:53   what does that mean [TS]

00:59:54   let's me diploma it's easy money like [TS]

00:59:56   mortarboard what does that mean he's [TS]

00:59:58   trying to you know [TS]

00:59:58   trying to you know [TS]

01:00:00   I've seen in Deer Hunter uh-huh that [TS]

01:00:02   that lasts 45 minutes like get to the [TS]

01:00:05   part with the with the get to the dumb [TS]

01:00:07   can we please get the video Vietnam I [TS]

01:00:09   never 123 deliverance move on cimmino [TS]

01:00:12   move on and it's in 45 minutes of them [TS]

01:00:15   sitting in that bar in some upstate town [TS]

01:00:19   and it's just like the broken asked [TS]

01:00:21   characterization bomb went off like I'm [TS]

01:00:24   and everything it's just a bunch of [TS]

01:00:25   families that have been living there for [TS]

01:00:27   generations and the dad worked at the [TS]

01:00:29   factory in the granddad worked at the [TS]

01:00:31   factory and they're just sitting in this [TS]

01:00:32   bar with these these Schaefer beer signs [TS]

01:00:36   on the walls and you just feel that that [TS]

01:00:39   movie like the the that scene is so long [TS]

01:00:43   and so like unendurable and you just [TS]

01:00:46   feel like oh the the whole point of this [TS]

01:00:49   is to make me feel to make me feel [TS]

01:00:52   exactly what it's like to be to grow up [TS]

01:00:55   in one of those shabby little [TS]

01:00:56   Pennsylvania shithole towns and that is [TS]

01:01:01   every time I see that scene i'm just [TS]

01:01:04   transported into the mind of Billy Joel [TS]

01:01:06   and I feel fulfilled its entire time [TS]

01:01:10   never would have thought of that but [TS]

01:01:12   you're totally right [TS]

01:01:13   his whole hoopla and his whole all his [TS]

01:01:16   fans they're all living in that first 45 [TS]

01:01:19   minutes of of deer hunter right okay [TS]

01:01:22   well here's here's another one for you [TS]

01:01:23   though is like you know that you know [TS]

01:01:25   that one song and so Kelly across [TS]

01:01:26   something interesting like Tony Tony [TS]

01:01:28   Bennett and randy newman is it is in new [TS]

01:01:31   york state of mine had a new york state [TS]

01:01:34   of mine when he sings the song it kind [TS]

01:01:37   of goes like this and like wow he's kind [TS]

01:01:40   of trying to 20 but he's really kind of [TS]

01:01:42   trying to do Randy Newman and it [TS]

01:01:43   occurred to me like rainy Newman to his [TS]

01:01:46   peril over the years or you know stupid [TS]

01:01:49   people's fault but I mean he writes [TS]

01:01:51   songs that are from a character's point [TS]

01:01:53   of view [TS]

01:01:54   yeah like short people is not about [TS]

01:01:56   short people being inferior it's about [TS]

01:01:58   some dickhead anything short people are [TS]

01:01:59   inferior in some ways I mi6 from this [TS]

01:02:02   character he sings as a slave master [TS]

01:02:04   trying he's the expert and Billy Joel [TS]

01:02:07   sings from a character that every [TS]

01:02:08   character is him [TS]

01:02:09   it's like but it's the first draft of a [TS]

01:02:12   five-paragraph essay you know I was not [TS]

01:02:14   convinced that voice that you're here [TS]

01:02:16   and is actually Billy Joel singing like [TS]

01:02:18   John Lennon singing like Tony been all [TS]

01:02:21   I'm gonna send you I'm gonna send you a [TS]

01:02:22   song the what's it called [TS]

01:02:24   Layla Layla Charon Jennifer some song on [TS]

01:02:26   the nylon curtain which is a very good i [TS]

01:02:28   like Karen Jennifer yeah the time waits [TS]

01:02:31   on Iran drawn a calorie accomplishment [TS]

01:02:35   for chase Alexander the Great [TS]

01:02:38   sure here you go to change that you [TS]

01:02:43   liked you so that your graduation read [TS]

01:02:46   this to you so the graduations hang on [TS]

01:02:47   the wall but they've never really helped [TS]

01:02:49   us at all [TS]

01:02:50   no they never taught us what was real [TS]

01:02:52   iron-on graduations and coke chromium [TS]

01:02:56   steel that's right those are really the [TS]

01:02:59   graduation thing on the wall but they [TS]

01:03:00   never really helped us at all [TS]

01:03:02   no they never taught us was real lucky [TS]

01:03:04   graduations I'm telling you it grabs you [TS]

01:03:06   just said is to be a name you here at [TS]

01:03:08   Yad go to but it's a good record i'm [TS]

01:03:11   telling you all right [TS]

01:03:13   there's just one song that really sounds [TS]

01:03:14   like it like its I don't know you it's [TS]

01:03:17   weird he also lives in that weird zone [TS]

01:03:19   where it's like you can't tell if it's a [TS]

01:03:20   parody or not [TS]

01:03:22   no no I didn't you can tell but it is a [TS]

01:03:24   parity and he thinks it doesn't read as [TS]

01:03:26   a parody it reads like a parody but it [TS]

01:03:28   certainly internation chance you know [TS]

01:03:31   any certain ways of seeing that you go [TS]

01:03:32   Oh only Brian Wilson nobody seems like [TS]

01:03:35   that except Brian Wilson for example I [TS]

01:03:37   mean sure but she's you know he's used [TS]

01:03:38   to chewing up the carpet it means that [TS]

01:03:40   like in these casinos up in Schenectady [TS]

01:03:44   and man and that's a you know that's [TS]

01:03:49   like he's lost he's like David [TS]

01:03:51   Copperfield he's lost any sense of I [TS]

01:03:54   need to any luck he lost in 72 we never [TS]

01:03:56   had it but you know i'm not talking [TS]

01:03:59   about a fair sound like a cuddle [TS]

01:04:03   I'm coming at it from a different [TS]

01:04:04   perspective because of course as well as [TS]

01:04:06   you remember I grew up in an in America [TS]

01:04:08   but also far away from America in the [TS]

01:04:11   great state of Alaska and loading here [TS]

01:04:13   for it like a great cloud that's right [TS]

01:04:15   America was already kind of a fetish [TS]

01:04:18   item to us [TS]

01:04:19   because these places were incredibly [TS]

01:04:21   exotic like eastern Pennsylvania some [TS]

01:04:25   some Adirondack mining town had was as [TS]

01:04:31   exotic a place as as any place in the [TS]

01:04:35   Ural Mountains to us you know what I [TS]

01:04:37   mean like it wasn't just as foreign and [TS]

01:04:39   so I can I came at all of that culture [TS]

01:04:44   that then and include like Johnny little [TS]

01:04:47   Johnny cougar and a pipe bomb she does [TS]

01:04:50   oh and and and Bruce I mean now all of [TS]

01:04:55   these guys and what I'm doing John [TS]

01:04:58   Cougar kinda like that that farm aid [TS]

01:05:00   phase where you got all that out loud [TS]

01:05:02   and online who produces record yet that [TS]

01:05:06   who's this little babrak yes Bob rocky [TS]

01:05:11   went from kiss to john cougar but you [TS]

01:05:13   know anything that Americans producing [TS]

01:05:16   Shania Twain no that's my slang [TS]

01:05:20   alright what about mutt lange it's also [TS]

01:05:23   been a model objects [TS]

01:05:24   I'm sorry I interrupted you yes but [TS]

01:05:26   they're all fake heartland people well [TS]

01:05:28   and that and that sense of Heartland was [TS]

01:05:30   a thing that I already I already only [TS]

01:05:33   understood as a cartoon right it was not [TS]

01:05:36   a thing that we had direct exposure to [TS]

01:05:38   so it seemed cartoonish already it's [TS]

01:05:41   like the first time you land in New York [TS]

01:05:43   and you walk up to a copier like a which [TS]

01:05:45   way is the world trade center and the [TS]

01:05:47   guy turns and he's like oh yeah you look [TS]

01:05:50   for the World Trade Center a whatever [TS]

01:05:52   and you're like what the fuck you're [TS]

01:05:54   real [TS]

01:05:55   oh yeah yeah that's like the that's like [TS]

01:05:57   legit the Transit Authority like you [TS]

01:05:59   hear all these jokes about there you go [TS]

01:06:01   there like oh my god this is exactly [TS]

01:06:03   what I imagined and it's horrible [TS]

01:06:06   is that what's called us but that was [TS]

01:06:07   that the place being wonders what am I [TS]

01:06:09   thinking of what's called the not [TS]

01:06:10   something and that's the Chicago out [TS]

01:06:12   might think chicago transit authority [TS]

01:06:13   yet it is not that the bus terminal but [TS]

01:06:17   yeah you know what I mean you go in [TS]

01:06:19   there just all like people laying in [TS]

01:06:21   urine and nobody's actually waiting for [TS]

01:06:23   any transit but you know even like [TS]

01:06:26   what's funny though is with people like [TS]

01:06:27   like Bob Seger god bless him he's got [TS]

01:06:29   some good songs but then it's like sure [TS]

01:06:31   down like a rock like commercial thing [TS]

01:06:33   is something i guess i'm glad that made [TS]

01:06:35   some money but like it was it exactly [TS]

01:06:36   underscored like how silly that kind of [TS]

01:06:39   like fake earnest you know successful [TS]

01:06:42   rock musician thing is well and that and [TS]

01:06:45   Jesus that mean that is the jumping-off [TS]

01:06:47   point for for the deck kind of the whole [TS]

01:06:50   cultural thought [TS]

01:06:52   love it or leave it american culture and [TS]

01:06:55   I guess it existed a long time before me [TS]

01:06:57   Bob Seger was it was a cartoon with [TS]

01:07:00   billy joel and Bob's here were kind of [TS]

01:07:02   got a caricature and it was a cartoon [TS]

01:07:05   when Bruce Springsteen was caricaturing [TS]

01:07:07   it because it's a thing that goes back [TS]

01:07:09   to what the war mean those guys are [TS]

01:07:11   being nostalgic about World War to write [TS]

01:07:13   more about their fathers their fathers [TS]

01:07:17   experiences of coming home and coming [TS]

01:07:20   home to this you know where we're all [TS]

01:07:22   still suffering PTSD from having won the [TS]

01:07:26   war and then not creating a utopia but [TS]

01:07:29   instead 20-inch lasers at least having a [TS]

01:07:32   time-release right recently said yeah [TS]

01:07:35   yes exactly i think that's that's what [TS]

01:07:36   kind of kicks kicked off a lot of that [TS]

01:07:38   that stat a strain in some ways but also [TS]

01:07:42   just the fact that there was a time in [TS]

01:07:44   america american free tom was male with [TS]

01:07:49   a high school education could get a job [TS]

01:07:51   in an automobile factory or pink i'm not [TS]

01:07:54   sure but you are but that was I mean [TS]

01:07:55   that was a thing I mean GI Bill like [TS]

01:07:57   that was there was a big you can get a [TS]

01:08:00   graphic about it but that was a pretty [TS]

01:08:01   good time and I'm really because the [TS]

01:08:03   snatcher that well I sub i was reading [TS]

01:08:07   this book [TS]

01:08:08   not very long ago called the farm me see [TS]

01:08:12   if I can find a copy of it here a book [TS]

01:08:14   called the farm and it was written it [TS]

01:08:20   was written in the early part of the [TS]

01:08:24   20th century but in a very modern voice [TS]

01:08:26   and it's a book of it's a sort of a [TS]

01:08:33   nostalgic but but wise worldly book [TS]

01:08:38   about this this this guy kind of looking [TS]

01:08:43   back in his own family [TS]

01:08:45   to the to the settling of the planes you [TS]

01:08:50   know to a time when when his [TS]

01:08:53   great-grandfather arrived in ohio and [TS]

01:08:56   cleared the land and built the farmhouse [TS]

01:09:01   that today is the oldest building in [TS]

01:09:04   cleveland or something [TS]

01:09:05   you're the oldest building in in akron [TS]

01:09:08   let's say and at the time it was just [TS]

01:09:11   all farm and they you know they lived [TS]

01:09:14   together in one room while they were [TS]

01:09:16   clearing the forest and eventually built [TS]

01:09:18   on a second room and then a third room [TS]

01:09:20   and pretty soon it they built this [TS]

01:09:22   mansion and this book the farm it we [TS]

01:09:30   were able from from our perspective [TS]

01:09:32   yours in mind to cast back in our own [TS]

01:09:36   imaginations and through our family [TS]

01:09:41   histories and newsreels and books you [TS]

01:09:43   know we can get back only so far before [TS]

01:09:47   the reality of historical times becomes [TS]

01:09:52   a becomes just a a just kind of a [TS]

01:09:56   constellation of images right we don't [TS]

01:09:58   have any sense of what it was really [TS]

01:09:59   like we just have we just to put [TS]

01:10:02   together some pictures in our mind from [TS]

01:10:04   books and movies and so forth but this [TS]

01:10:07   guy was writing this book at a time when [TS]

01:10:09   a time prior to prior to really much [TS]

01:10:18   very much media where he was a modern [TS]

01:10:21   person in a modern writer a modern [TS]

01:10:22   thinker but he was he had access to his [TS]

01:10:26   grandparents who are still alive who [TS]

01:10:30   were pre Civil War homesteaders and they [TS]

01:10:36   were able to tell stories about their [TS]

01:10:37   grandparents who arrived on the scene in [TS]

01:10:40   1790 or whatever and so he was able to [TS]

01:10:43   write about this stuff in a very direct [TS]

01:10:44   way in a way that wasn't mitigated by [TS]

01:10:49   having seen a lot of movies about and [TS]

01:10:52   also you know who he didn't see it you [TS]

01:10:55   know he was hearing about [TS]

01:10:57   the pioneer times and talking about them [TS]

01:10:59   in more more or less as a as a as a [TS]

01:11:04   still very a live game of telephone he [TS]

01:11:09   was like this is like the first order [TS]

01:11:11   think he wasn't he wasn't removed from [TS]

01:11:13   it and like reading about it or seen [TS]

01:11:16   movies you're saying is like had direct [TS]

01:11:18   access to this [TS]

01:11:19   ya like like his great-great-great [TS]

01:11:20   great-grandfather had five kids and the [TS]

01:11:25   descendants of all of those five [TS]

01:11:28   children were all people that he still [TS]

01:11:32   knew or knew about like he could he [TS]

01:11:35   could say like then this house got built [TS]

01:11:38   over here and this clan lived in hit you [TS]

01:11:42   know it was it was it there was a [TS]

01:11:44   certain point where that got incredibly [TS]

01:11:47   splintered at the end of the 19th [TS]

01:11:48   century and now nobody can go [TS]

01:11:51   nobody has the ability and in America [TS]

01:11:54   except very few people to say like five [TS]

01:11:58   six generations back and i still know [TS]

01:12:00   all the cousins or I know who they are I [TS]

01:12:03   know their names and I know I know where [TS]

01:12:07   they ended up you know like that whether [TS]

01:12:09   the great migrations of of of immigrants [TS]

01:12:12   in the late 19th century just america's [TS]

01:12:14   population just explode and everybody [TS]

01:12:16   went running for the running for the [TS]

01:12:18   corners but anyway this book is this [TS]

01:12:21   book is a spectacular kind of glimpse of [TS]

01:12:25   because he is experiencing nostalgia to [TS]

01:12:30   he's experiencing nostalgia for sleigh [TS]

01:12:34   rides you know that currier and ives [TS]

01:12:37   nostalgia that we don't even know we [TS]

01:12:41   don't even know where week we see we see [TS]

01:12:43   a picture or we sing A Christmas Carol [TS]

01:12:45   people riding in a sleigh horse-drawn [TS]

01:12:47   sleigh and it's just it's just kind of a [TS]

01:12:50   it's kichar it's part of our collective [TS]

01:12:52   culture but this guy is saying like it's [TS]

01:12:55   like carolers in a Dickens right like [TS]

01:12:59   tableau or something [TS]

01:13:00   yeah and he is talking with nostalgia [TS]

01:13:03   about these things which have been lost [TS]

01:13:05   to the motorcar [TS]

01:13:07   in it but but again in a way that makes [TS]

01:13:10   you really feel really feel it firsthand [TS]

01:13:14   and we recognize that voice of like oh [TS]

01:13:19   well used to be [TS]

01:13:20   it used to be that a man could make his [TS]

01:13:22   living off the land and it used to be [TS]

01:13:25   that a you know like sure we had a we [TS]

01:13:30   had an indentured servant who lived here [TS]

01:13:32   but we put it we put his kids in [TS]

01:13:36   somebody there to help out for free on [TS]

01:13:38   farms yeah he liked their subsidies that [TS]

01:13:40   are black people that and this was that [TS]

01:13:42   you know are indentured servant was was [TS]

01:13:44   an Irish guy but he came over here you [TS]

01:13:46   know we paid his passage or whatever [TS]

01:13:48   right and he worked for us his entire [TS]

01:13:51   life but his kids you know went to [TS]

01:13:54   school and became you know and one of [TS]

01:13:56   them is a barber a little Sheamus and so [TS]

01:13:59   you know but you're reading this kind of [TS]

01:14:00   story and and I don't know if it it [TS]

01:14:03   whenever I think about whenever I think [TS]

01:14:06   about the nostalgia because by that by [TS]

01:14:08   the time the nostalgia wave has reached [TS]

01:14:11   us [TS]

01:14:13   I mean eighty-five percent of what we [TS]

01:14:16   think of as American culture is just [TS]

01:14:17   this is just like misremembered [TS]

01:14:20   nostalgic long mythology right right [TS]

01:14:25   we were so we're such self mythologize [TS]

01:14:27   were such a young country still and yet [TS]

01:14:29   we have all these you know we have all [TS]

01:14:32   these epic heroes and all these you know [TS]

01:14:34   fallin fallin martyrs and and the the [TS]

01:14:40   race of technology of the last 200 years [TS]

01:14:43   it feels like an American story more [TS]

01:14:45   than more than any other you so you can [TS]

01:14:47   say like well a motor car was invented [TS]

01:14:49   in the UK but it's really an American [TS]

01:14:51   story and all these things are American [TS]

01:14:53   steam engines [TS]

01:14:55   so when i say when i hear that when i [TS]

01:14:58   hear that Billy Joel nostalgia for the [TS]

01:15:02   for the post-war factory worker in the [TS]

01:15:07   context of like even the even the 40 [TS]

01:15:12   years before his dad got a job at the [TS]

01:15:15   mill let alone the hundred and forty [TS]

01:15:18   years before it just feels like oh I [TS]

01:15:24   gotta bury got a theory on that I mean I [TS]

01:15:27   i have my life is full of mythologies [TS]

01:15:29   and stories and stuff and you know ways [TS]

01:15:31   of understanding the world but I mean [TS]

01:15:34   until you become seen on life [TS]

01:15:35   information and memories really only [TS]

01:15:38   flow one way things never ending is your [TS]

01:15:40   life rarely become less complicated as [TS]

01:15:42   you get older and and the stories that [TS]

01:15:45   you tell you tend to tell so I guess I'm [TS]

01:15:47   trying to say is we start with ourselves [TS]

01:15:48   and say like oh gosh haha boy I wish I [TS]

01:15:50   was 14 again I would do that differently [TS]

01:15:52   or you know i wish i had a job making [TS]

01:15:56   the you know equivalent of what i make [TS]

01:15:57   now except they spent less and you know [TS]

01:16:00   what I would have done anything [TS]

01:16:01   differently back then it was a simple [TS]

01:16:03   everything was simple [TS]

01:16:04   I mean that's how it feels everything [TS]

01:16:04   physically you remember your pain you [TS]

01:16:06   know you remember things like that you [TS]

01:16:07   remember heartbreak or tragedy but by [TS]

01:16:10   and large I think we yesterday seems [TS]

01:16:12   less complicated than tomorrow for the [TS]

01:16:14   prospect of tomorrow and I think that is [TS]

01:16:16   not so different with the stories we [TS]

01:16:17   tell ourselves and that's why we always [TS]

01:16:19   get back to this things used to be [TS]

01:16:20   simpler like every generation thinks the [TS]

01:16:22   kids are are getting stupid and [TS]

01:16:24   dangerous [TS]

01:16:24   there's never been a generation that [TS]

01:16:26   thought their kids were better than they [TS]

01:16:28   were they meant if wanted more for them [TS]

01:16:30   but they think they got more sass mouth [TS]

01:16:31   there they're having more intercourse [TS]

01:16:34   they're doing more alcohol and drugs to [TS]

01:16:35   do more dangerous careless things that [TS]

01:16:37   are not having to work as hard [TS]

01:16:38   I don't think there's that many [TS]

01:16:39   generations that that has have skipped [TS]

01:16:41   on that I think almost everybody feels [TS]

01:16:43   like they worked harder than their kids [TS]

01:16:44   and their parents probably worked harder [TS]

01:16:46   than them and and and everything used to [TS]

01:16:48   seem simpler but you know what things [TS]

01:16:50   were simpler they're simpler because a [TS]

01:16:51   bunch of people died because there were [TS]

01:16:53   no vaccinations and regular because [TS]

01:16:55   white people ran everything and you [TS]

01:16:57   didn't have to be confused by the black [TS]

01:16:58   lady at the starbucks and it was simpler [TS]

01:17:00   in a way that benefit you but like use [TS]

01:17:03   you know the thing is the good old days [TS]

01:17:05   weren't all that good [TS]

01:17:06   and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems [TS]

01:17:08   your kids that Billy Joel eric 08 before [TS]

01:17:14   that was me [TS]

01:17:15   oh god I picked the balls i think it's [TS]

01:17:23   true though I think people are always [TS]

01:17:24   there they are pining for the fjords [TS]

01:17:26   they're always looking back to those [TS]

01:17:28   days that seems so simple and they [TS]

01:17:30   weren't they weren't simple like all [TS]

01:17:31   those times that like your little kid [TS]

01:17:33   and you remember that way because he [TS]

01:17:35   didn't know enough to know how fucked up [TS]

01:17:37   everything was no I think you can get [TS]

01:17:39   past that whole like how much people [TS]

01:17:40   just used to die for dumb reasons [TS]

01:17:42   literally losing the hand losing a hand [TS]

01:17:45   of farm machinery getting some dumb [TS]

01:17:47   disease i told you about a I don't get [TS]

01:17:49   into it I told you about a health scare [TS]

01:17:50   my family had the other day there was [TS]

01:17:52   some turned out to be not what we [TS]

01:17:54   worried it would be that was fucking [TS]

01:17:55   harrowing I mean we found out that our [TS]

01:17:57   family have potentially been exposed to [TS]

01:17:59   a deadly disease and as it turned out it [TS]

01:18:02   was a mixup at the hospital but I don't [TS]

01:18:06   get into a bit but like that's the kind [TS]

01:18:07   of thing used to having people all the [TS]

01:18:08   time they go oh by the way your kid's [TS]

01:18:11   gonna be blind lose an arm because they [TS]

01:18:13   did this one thing that's what like you [TS]

01:18:15   still get a wholly-owned you're gonna [TS]

01:18:16   walk around with the with a brace on [TS]

01:18:17   your leg flexes you're staying in the [TS]

01:18:19   house from now on and not going outside [TS]

01:18:20   and breathing well I mean this is why [TS]

01:18:22   there for many years and I and I cannot [TS]

01:18:25   escape this this idea even still i am [TS]

01:18:28   one of the people and I you may scoff [TS]

01:18:30   but I'm one of the people that he may I [TS]

01:18:34   i allow you to scott also incidentally [TS]

01:18:36   yeah I found the book the farm here and [TS]

01:18:39   it is written by Lewis bromfield if [TS]

01:18:41   anybody's interested field Louis [TS]

01:18:42   bromfield he can't see us [TS]

01:18:46   I'm one of these people who continues to [TS]

01:18:50   hold out the possibility that he will [TS]

01:18:52   sell everything and move on to a [TS]

01:18:53   sailboat [TS]

01:18:55   and as as much as I recognize that that [TS]

01:18:59   is a that is put a terrible idea [TS]

01:19:05   I also a it's an inescapable one like I [TS]

01:19:08   keep feeling like at some point i am [TS]

01:19:11   going to have to do this because I so my [TS]

01:19:16   mom's boyfriend that that that will [TS]

01:19:20   cover just Johnny roads to her that [TS]

01:19:22   relationship has run its course [TS]

01:19:24   oh really that had happened very fast is [TS]

01:19:26   fast at the long weekend didn't go so [TS]

01:19:28   that's that will know I think it went [TS]

01:19:30   well but it's just you know it's just a [TS]

01:19:31   fortunately for me my mother is still [TS]

01:19:36   herself and did not get swept away she [TS]

01:19:39   can take that pumps and everything is [TS]

01:19:41   back to normal she came but you came [TS]

01:19:42   back to her senses but it but but the [TS]

01:19:45   experience of i see i guess it's an [TS]

01:19:49   experience that I that I have going to [TS]

01:19:51   going to so many estate sales with the [TS]

01:19:57   with with a our mutual friend Chad I got [TS]

01:20:02   we go to a lot of state sales or he goes [TS]

01:20:03   to a lot more than I do you know you [TS]

01:20:06   come into these people's houses and you [TS]

01:20:07   see their collections and you see them [TS]

01:20:09   and you see that they were hoping that [TS]

01:20:11   their things were going to stave off [TS]

01:20:13   death and he realized that all of the [TS]

01:20:17   you know they're 150 shot glasses in a [TS]

01:20:21   in a custom-made case on the wall all [TS]

01:20:25   they are all they ended up being because [TS]

01:20:27   their kids don't want them all they [TS]

01:20:28   ended up being was just another thing [TS]

01:20:30   that some estate sale company had to put [TS]

01:20:33   a little price tag on and it and a lot [TS]

01:20:36   of it gets old and some of it just goes [TS]

01:20:38   to the thrift store but you you go into [TS]

01:20:41   these houses and you say like oh right [TS]

01:20:43   everybody's trying to like hoarding and [TS]

01:20:46   collecting crapple is exceptionally [TS]

01:20:50   common it seems like maybe one of the [TS]

01:20:52   number one ways that people [TS]

01:20:56   that people build a framework to hold [TS]

01:20:59   back time are they build up build some [TS]

01:21:02   sugar candy Montgomery damn yeah right [TS]

01:21:06   like no no no I'm gonna be like books [TS]

01:21:09   they had never read that they will never [TS]

01:21:11   read and and useless item upon useless [TS]

01:21:15   item and I come back it's also it's also [TS]

01:21:17   like an aspiration think it's like all [TS]

01:21:18   the things that should happen as well [TS]

01:21:20   right right the yacht club that they [TS]

01:21:22   that they one day are going to join the [TS]

01:21:24   sailboat there one day going to move [TS]

01:21:26   onto and I look at my own collection of [TS]

01:21:29   everything and I golike ok I'll I for [TS]

01:21:35   instance i love our crumb and over the [TS]

01:21:39   years I have collected a just not not as [TS]

01:21:42   a collector but just out of interest in [TS]

01:21:44   him I have collected a great number of [TS]

01:21:47   our crumb comics because I every time I [TS]

01:21:52   saw when I would buy because i like [TS]

01:21:53   because i like his art and now I hold [TS]

01:21:57   them I hold on to them because part of [TS]

01:22:01   me imagines that one day I will [TS]

01:22:03   introduce my children to the work of our [TS]

01:22:07   chrome and they and their minds will be [TS]

01:22:08   expanded but I know that that is not [TS]

01:22:11   going to happen like the chances of the [TS]

01:22:15   chances of like my daughter going [TS]

01:22:19   through my books and finding our crumb [TS]

01:22:21   and finding him at all interesting or [TS]

01:22:23   appealing are like next 20 it's about [TS]

01:22:26   ourselves so yeah so I'm carrying these [TS]

01:22:28   are chrome with me and I look at my I'm [TS]

01:22:31   in my forties right now I'm looking at [TS]

01:22:33   these are crumbs on on the shelf and I'm [TS]

01:22:35   thinking oh I could be i could slip [TS]

01:22:37   these around for 40 more years and then [TS]

01:22:40   never maybe I'll read them one more time [TS]

01:22:43   but like I don't consult them they are [TS]

01:22:47   books that are there they're among the [TS]

01:22:48   ten thousand books i have back to this [TS]

01:22:50   problem you talk about on time ago that [TS]

01:22:52   think there's cubic inches of your life [TS]

01:22:55   that we take being taken up by all these [TS]

01:22:57   things that you have this like uncertain [TS]

01:22:59   non-existent or unnecessary relationship [TS]

01:23:01   too right yeah like by and I begin [TS]

01:23:03   somewhere inches its cubic-inch [TS]

01:23:05   especially that's the important thing [TS]

01:23:06   it's got depth i'm beginning to think [TS]

01:23:08   that and wait [TS]

01:23:09   all go everything including I mean [TS]

01:23:13   including everything but the very [TS]

01:23:15   smallest box of family photos you know [TS]

01:23:19   the rest of it like if I need to read [TS]

01:23:23   the hobbit again i can find i think i [TS]

01:23:26   can find one day I can find a copy and [TS]

01:23:30   you know and the copy you know the copy [TS]

01:23:33   of The Hobbit i have is something I [TS]

01:23:35   checked out from the library [TS]

01:23:37   30 years ago and never returned it still [TS]

01:23:39   has the Dewey Decimal tags on the side i [TS]

01:23:42   should probably take it back i should [TS]

01:23:44   probably I should do one of those [TS]

01:23:45   library think it's like a former coach [TS]

01:23:46   on [TS]

01:23:47   I mean as long as you don't commit the [TS]

01:23:48   crime now it's okay that you keep the [TS]

01:23:50   old one you can have eaten any camera [TS]

01:23:52   for commission right you can have a [TS]

01:23:54   bitch for you know what you could do [TS]

01:23:56   what you could do is you could certainly [TS]

01:23:58   do that that's a little bit crazy and [TS]

01:24:00   seems like the beginning of self-harm [TS]

01:24:02   but you could also do is this is to keep [TS]

01:24:04   your favorite your favorite candelabra [TS]

01:24:07   your favorite pair of cowboy boots your [TS]

01:24:09   favorite brow playboy box the rest up [TS]

01:24:11   put it in a storage shed for six months [TS]

01:24:13   and see how you feel about him and then [TS]

01:24:15   if you want so you know what I mrs. [TS]

01:24:16   Brown's boys but I'm gonna frame five of [TS]

01:24:18   them and put them on the wall and make [TS]

01:24:21   it a making a thing because right now [TS]

01:24:22   i'm gonna miss the inertia let me see if [TS]

01:24:24   i could say what your problem is you [TS]

01:24:25   know what is that stuff hasn't moved in [TS]

01:24:27   either of you and that's another here's [TS]

01:24:29   here's the thing John going to talk [TS]

01:24:31   about here [TS]

01:24:33   you can't sliced tomato unless you buy a [TS]

01:24:35   knife and that's gonna hurt my back five [TS]

01:24:38   minutes I don't know showing on anymore [TS]

01:24:39   because dr. Phil's sound like Bill [TS]

01:24:41   Clinton or is your dr. Phil just I just [TS]

01:24:43   I i used to have different southern [TS]

01:24:45   voices and now they are kind of selling [TS]

01:24:46   foghorn leghorn up for one of each and [TS]

01:24:53   put the rest away the exercise will be [TS]

01:24:55   good for you [TS]

01:24:55   it's not that costly and I know this is [TS]

01:24:58   a is a hacked on a bacon hack but you [TS]

01:25:01   know it's an old trick that lots of [TS]

01:25:02   people suggested which is that you know [TS]

01:25:03   if you got some kibble around the house [TS]

01:25:05   under your big the located in a lot of [TS]

01:25:07   people you get rid of that stuff put in [TS]

01:25:10   a bag or box for the date on it and if [TS]

01:25:11   you don't need anything from the box and [TS]

01:25:13   six months throw it away [TS]

01:25:14   nothing she did it for broke playboy [TS]

01:25:15   that special materials give this to me [TS]

01:25:17   if you need to get rid of them but well [TS]

01:25:19   I can't I can't escape like when I was [TS]

01:25:21   younger when I was a younger [TS]

01:25:23   and I was acquiring these things because [TS]

01:25:25   I was imagining populating myfuturelife [TS]

01:25:29   with them [TS]

01:25:30   absolutely and imagine the big like [TS]

01:25:32   Bruce Wayne library with all that stuff [TS]

01:25:34   and like a globe rights right right [TS]

01:25:36   people would come into my house and they [TS]

01:25:37   would be astonished by my by my one [TS]

01:25:39   half-scale replica of the fucker tribe [TS]

01:25:43   they would say my god man does it fly [TS]

01:25:47   and I said honey is so eclectic I got in [TS]

01:25:51   Africa rafa but now i'm in my life i am [TS]

01:25:54   presently in the escape it and all of [TS]

01:25:58   this stuff is it [TS]

01:25:59   I literally do have a Bruce Wayne [TS]

01:26:01   library that that that has I not a [TS]

01:26:05   half-scale Fokker triplane but tri-motor [TS]

01:26:08   but a bit like a one-eighth-scale and my [TS]

01:26:12   red red baron plane know the fucker [TS]

01:26:15   tri-motor was a was a piano fucker right [TS]

01:26:17   that was a well let's see what the [TS]

01:26:21   record Aaron oh wait a minute i am [TS]

01:26:24   conflating two airplanes the Fokker [TS]

01:26:26   triplane and be ford trimotor oh that's [TS]

01:26:32   right motor was a was a 3 engine [TS]

01:26:35   passenger plane the handsome a high and [TS]

01:26:39   and the Fokker airplane in the scale it [TS]

01:26:44   would look great in a study but it but [TS]

01:26:46   alongside all the other things it's [TS]

01:26:48   accumulating yes well it'sit's not it [TS]

01:26:51   isn't just that it's continuously [TS]

01:26:52   accumulating it's like you're saying i [TS]

01:26:54   feel i feel like a like yo soul the [TS]

01:26:58   Austrian glacier man stuck stuck with my [TS]

01:27:03   little bag of of of muesli it definitely [TS]

01:27:08   need to get rid of some puts and my my [TS]

01:27:11   homemade herb for boots is it from a [TS]

01:27:13   commercial or a book now you know the [TS]

01:27:15   guy I'm talking about ricola yeah but [TS]

01:27:19   the but yeah that guy the one that was [TS]

01:27:21   though that that now they've decided was [TS]

01:27:23   killed in a battle still not enough not [TS]

01:27:26   to sound like a lost right now and him [TS]

01:27:29   you don't talk about the guy in the in [TS]

01:27:30   the cough drop commercial no i'm talking [TS]

01:27:33   about the prehistoric man who was frozen [TS]

01:27:36   in a glacier in [TS]

01:27:37   still that's that's not Lucy not Lucy no [TS]

01:27:40   okay Lucy is just a bone fragment and a [TS]

01:27:43   story [TS]

01:27:44   nice this is a classy this is it said [TS]

01:27:48   about ladies all that Lucy's just a [TS]

01:27:50   fragment of a jaw and a good tale but [TS]

01:27:56   this guy okay [TS]

01:27:57   the Austrian his name's not yo soul [TS]

01:27:59   honey think that's a million sorry I'm [TS]

01:28:03   tired after tea you know whatever his [TS]

01:28:05   name is beautiful [TS]

01:28:06   mhm no soul it's a the Paleolithic a [TS]

01:28:09   bugler right right who who died on a [TS]

01:28:13   glacier and was frozen for for literally [TS]

01:28:16   thousands of years [TS]

01:28:17   ok and the whole time he was in a [TS]

01:28:20   glacier with his little bag of of of [TS]

01:28:24   grain and his his his quiver of arrows [TS]

01:28:26   he was probably thinking I don't have so [TS]

01:28:29   much stuff i'm a little lost the [TS]

01:28:31   analogies this is you your notes or I'm [TS]

01:28:35   yo to my stuff is the glacier and what's [TS]

01:28:38   the grain but a getting very hot today [TS]

01:28:50   salt shaker by accident [TS]