Roderick on the Line

Ep. 79: "We Are Not Snow Giants"

 

  hello hey John [TS]

  hi Merlin has gone man oh man you know [TS]

  Beyonce cut her hair [TS]

  I think I think actually Beyonce just [TS]

  took out her weave [TS]

  yeah and and most people don't [TS]

  understand that [TS]

  beyonce's hair is not normally her real [TS]

  hair hbu pretty sure about that [TS]

  yeah I'm pretty sure based on beyonce's [TS]

  ethnicity who that a blonde Mary Tyler [TS]

  Moore hairstyle is not her natural hair [TS]

  huh i think it probably is natural hair [TS]

  i think it's very expensive hair [TS]

  yes but i do not think that it belongs [TS]

  to her [TS]

  I mean it belongs to her in the sense [TS]

  that she is the owner of it inhabits [TS]

  their inhabitants but John show business [TS]

  you've been around a lot of people you [TS]

  you have concerns about ben affleck and [TS]

  what's going on his head [TS]

  have you met a lot of people with figure [TS]

  that no one is a fake I mean it could be [TS]

  artificially short or long you can have [TS]

  in a bun do I IC IC unreal hair [TS]

  sometimes uh but uh um but you know like [TS]

  a lot of people brag about their gaydar [TS]

  or about their other relationship dars [TS]

  mm haired are other relationship dollars [TS]

  you can tell somebody's like cheating on [TS]

  somebody [TS]

  yeah i think so i think there are people [TS]

  who claim that they can tell what's [TS]

  going on [TS]

  they can tell whether someone is [TS]

  cheating they can tell whether someone [TS]

  is sleeping this on there are varieties [TS]

  of dar yes from across the room i have [TS]

  had I've been in a situation where I [TS]

  have let's say oh I'm going to take this [TS]

  into the hypothetical but let's say for [TS]

  instance one time I was in a club and [TS]

  there [TS]

  let's say for instance there were two [TS]

  people in the club that I was engaged [TS]

  with in bed with [TS]

  varying degrees of of seriousness like [TS]

  in the present tense we were having some [TS]

  kind of acid nations that's real [TS]

  hypothetical and the two people in the [TS]

  club who had no reason to suspect that [TS]

  the other also shared my confidence they [TS]

  were aware of one another and commented [TS]

  on it they were aware of that they were [TS]

  I mean I knew one another but they were [TS]

  aware that there was something going on [TS]

  and they were both very close at [TS]

  pinpointing what was going on [TS]

  just based on how they caught each other [TS]

  looking at me across a crowded room with [TS]

  these ladies they were ladies because [TS]

  this is a superpower and i think that [TS]

  you know [TS]

  oh they're good they're incredible and [TS]

  and I was like I'm and I was there in [TS]

  the bar the whole night obviously and i [TS]

  was watching these people from across [TS]

  the room and as far as I could tell [TS]

  using all of my special forces training [TS]

  but there was nothing given away but if [TS]

  you go to the glossary of the Special [TS]

  Forces handbook and look for like look [TS]

  for like Lady look lady looks in the [TS]

  back in the glossary there is no section [TS]

  on lady looks there's a section on [TS]

  punjabi sticks [TS]

  uh-huh there's a section on how to be [TS]

  had a guy on a motorcycle driving down a [TS]

  road at night there is not a section on [TS]

  lady looks and how to avoid them and I [TS]

  was really I was astonished I was caught [TS]

  off guard but I don't know when I [TS]

  practically i played out this scenario [TS]

  I'm just hypothetically super glad I [TS]

  wasn't there and involved i am you know [TS]

  they say that dogs can smell fear and [TS]

  turns out I've heard this i don't know [TS]

  this is true being a dogs sense of smell [TS]

  is is extremely acute don't know they [TS]

  can smell very well from pretty far away [TS]

  but it is very sensitive and supposedly [TS]

  what a dog can smell is what you might [TS]

  call flop sweat think they can smell the [TS]

  difference in somebody who is feeling [TS]

  anxious and so for example they say you [TS]

  know if you've got a dog like you know [TS]

  they'll get the really but okay [TS]

  is the vibe from the owner sometimes so [TS]

  if the if the owner of another dog is [TS]

  really anxious I guess what I'm saying [TS]

  is that maybe this is the kind of Dar [TS]

  and maybe there's something that ladies [TS]

  can detect you know and I don't know if [TS]

  it sent thing [TS]

  well now you have we talked about this [TS]

  before but the you know in the back of [TS]

  certain kinds of magazines there is that [TS]

  there's that add that has the picture of [TS]

  the woman who discovered the human [TS]

  pheromone scent [TS]

  uh-huh and that woman looks kind of like [TS]

  Marilyn Vos savant but a little me with [TS]

  the highest IQ in the world that's right [TS]

  the woman and her name is something like [TS]

  that it's like doctor at dr. Adonis [TS]

  androgynous superiority and um and you [TS]

  know she discovered the human pheromone [TS]

  and/or pheromone and supposedly [TS]

  condensed it down into like a little [TS]

  sort of like deer piss sent they you put [TS]

  behind your ears and it brings dears [TS]

  sheshe theoretically selling this idea [TS]

  to which gender is she saying this to [TS]

  this is for men she is selling this [TS]

  typically these ads are in the back of [TS]

  lad mag okay [TS]

  ack like some androgen you get something [TS]

  on there right that's going to make make [TS]

  make a woman uncontrolled for guys who [TS]

  have given up on the on the seduction [TS]

  community they're ready to go to the [TS]

  next level [TS]

  I feel like I feel like it may even be [TS]

  called Andros that's a good name [TS]

  he had the product but in any case she [TS]

  she has it she has like I think what she [TS]

  does is she you know she gets people [TS]

  aroused and then collect em and put [TS]

  funnels under their arms like a squeegee [TS]

  like she squeegees them who I don't need [TS]

  this of course I don't need any of this [TS]

  now you have a you have a very of the [TS]

  power of Andres all in your own with my [TS]

  even completely clean [TS]

  I still have a fááá have a kind of [TS]

  attractant that does bring it brings [TS]

  dear [TS]

  it but i think it probably leaches out [TS]

  of your van [TS]

  I know the van is gone now writes that [TS]

  man's gone my gosh I someone else so [TS]

  this weapon someone from the march of [TS]

  dimes is driving around in that van [TS]

  wondering why they keep getting late [TS]

  haha i have been working for the march [TS]

  of dimes for 15 years and i have this [TS]

  used ban that we've got they got a van [TS]

  would like that wheelchair on the back [TS]

  and the rolling around get more pussy [TS]

  than Sinatra and I'm shagging I'm [TS]

  shaking so many 35 year old women i [TS]

  don't have to do with myself but in any [TS]

  case so my fiancé haired are his is [TS]

  it's just I know that she does not have [TS]

  that hair because of my because my human [TS]

  studies indicate that she would have a [TS]

  different type of hair typically then [TS]

  the hair that she frequently rocks oh [TS]

  yeah and her her ethnicity is not [TS]

  conducive to a blonde pixie cut out of [TS]

  the box [TS]

  yeah necessity does play a role in hair [TS]

  type but I think you could accomplish [TS]

  that hair but you would be we've talked [TS]

  recently in this podcast about donks but [TS]

  now we need to talk about the conch [TS]

  oh yeah this is what I got Malcolm X [TS]

  with his head in the toilet when the [TS]

  cops came [TS]

  that's right is burning it was burning [TS]

  burning like fire the acid a you know [TS]

  bleach solution whatever it is in this [TS]

  area it's like like it's okay remember [TS]

  is that it relaxes your hair and it [TS]

  burns like fire the conch as a great [TS]

  scene it was a hell of a scene i am [TS]

  speaking of the dog thing [TS]

  yeah we have received a lot of mail oh [TS]

  god don't get me started and and I know [TS]

  I know the people who have who have been [TS]

  i know- listeners response on our lives [TS]

  in there at the impalas impala thank you [TS]

  thank you very much i was very [TS]

  instructive and now you still got 30 [TS]

  characters left thank you have I have [TS]

  received so many of these I didn't [TS]

  respond to the first 50 but by the [TS]

  hundred and fiftieth the hundred and [TS]

  fiftieth one I was just like seriously [TS]

  yeah is that the word you think i was [TS]

  searching for it in [TS]

  Paula whose yeah i mean i understand [TS]

  people get confused with that we cover a [TS]

  lot of mr. john i'm just glad they [TS]

  listen I'm glad they're here [TS]

  you know what I mean that you know god [TS]

  bless them here's the thing i was trying [TS]

  to explain to pays to my daughter go to [TS]

  pays well and yeah I mean there's a lot [TS]

  of things in life that are complicated [TS]

  to explain but in you know it's easy [TS]

  enough to explain that sometimes when [TS]

  people don't have as much hair as they [TS]

  would like they'll put on a little hat [TS]

  makes it look like they have more hair [TS]

  my hair with humans does now that's not [TS]

  to pay that i can appreciate my time I [TS]

  like those beers was actually hair and [TS]

  bad that little cap that looks like a [TS]

  sea anemone I've never seen without a [TS]

  hat [TS]

  well yeah and he where he is at a [TS]

  certain point he realized that he [TS]

  couldn't wear a cowboy hat everywhere [TS]

  and he needed something where was the [TS]

  place was a plausible [TS]

  Yeah Yeah right it's like hey Billy you [TS]

  know they jump out of the shower come [TS]

  look at this cowboy hat on [TS]

  he needed to happen he could wear [TS]

  everywhere right [TS]

  he hops into the hot tub and so he had [TS]

  this custom-made i'm sure he saw it at [TS]

  like a like a street fair and Amsterdam [TS]

  or something and it's a watch cap that [TS]

  looks like a sea anemone and he's been [TS]

  wearing and it so it looks like kind of [TS]

  mini dreads almost like this like is it [TS]

  more like the edge or more with your [TS]

  chest array or it's like an edge hat if [TS]

  the edge hat was covered with layne [TS]

  staley beards and multiple tiny layne [TS]

  staley yeah so if you had lain stiff [TS]

  layne staley was still alive [TS]

  I restless soul and you are cultivating [TS]

  his little braided chin beard and every [TS]

  time he grew one that was about six [TS]

  inches long you would cut it off and say [TS]

  you know you keep feeding him [TS]

  Staley Chow and you keep you keep [TS]

  growing these things once you have [TS]

  collected five place its own gravy [TS]

  you would then knit them into an edge [TS]

  cap ok and that's the billy gibbons hair [TS]

  hat and what what's underneath there [TS]

  I one can only imagine i think he I [TS]

  think he looks like the the professor [TS]

  from Back to the Future under there [TS]

  um i have not seen that but I mean and [TS]

  you know i don't want to sound unkind we [TS]

  have on numerous occasions too [TS]

  that's the problem of hairless men and [TS]

  it was during one of our early video [TS]

  interviews where you first introduce me [TS]

  to the ben affleck problem which is [TS]

  something i still turn over in my mind a [TS]

  couple times a month [TS]

  I like to circle back to that but I'm is [TS]

  a couple things about this first of all [TS]

  I'm gonna say again thank God a man can [TS]

  shave his head I'm so glad that this is [TS]

  now an option right remember when it [TS]

  wasn't [TS]

  oh I know I i woke up the morning and I [TS]

  started thinking about the special [TS]

  education teacher at my high school mr. [TS]

  r minus his name isn't mr. frensky he [TS]

  has never been skied Minsky the burns [TS]

  keeps a prince key Verbinski anyway ski [TS]

  suppose he was very obviously he would [TS]

  definitely registered on my flamboyant [TS]

  dar yeah and he working on shirts in [TS]

  like nineteen eighty-three let me way [TS]

  behind the bell-bottoms and the whole [TS]

  thing and he a nice guy never met such [TS]

  he uses he was a really really nice guy [TS]

  and he taught special education is [TS]

  incredibly patient he was very kind [TS]

  he was a great guy and I really liked [TS]

  the video screen always kind of [TS]

  weird-looking he had that really bad you [TS]

  know kind of acne you know right now is [TS]

  driving around in a March of Dimes band [TS]

  was like what the fuck is going on my [TS]

  life and let me turn around [TS]

  what's happening this is insane [TS]

  Mikey's he was a super nice guy don't [TS]

  like I disparage the guy but he's very [TS]

  kind of odd features is very body [TS]

  against sweetest man in the world but he [TS]

  had this he had this strange hair that [TS]

  hair problem that really approach like a [TS]

  bozo the clown level problem where I [TS]

  mean he had to be looking his early to [TS]

  mid thirties but he had he was full-on [TS]

  like super tonsure bald on top like [TS]

  shiny bald not a lick hair and he didn't [TS]

  do the comb-over but he had a bozo thing [TS]

  going on [TS]

  yeah his hair did was very long he [TS]

  looked kind of like am what's that there [TS]

  was a movie all the people of three [TS]

  flower rocky horror hit that like the [TS]

  rocky horror guys sure the string here [TS]

  his name is a riff raff that's that's [TS]

  the original riff raff in ac/dc song [TS]

  well you do you're familiar with the the [TS]

  current rapper [TS]

  a name drift graph riffraff I can keep [TS]

  track everybody everybody has [TS]

  diacritical and ! the name of the new [TS]

  riff raff is a guy he's a guy that is [TS]

  actually free actually kind of in some [TS]

  ways not not physically but spiritually [TS]

  resembles the old riffraff it's but he's [TS]

  a guy who has taken you know you know [TS]

  the like hyper trimmed beard they don't [TS]

  like Don Johnson kind of thing [TS]

  well no like that like we're here where [TS]

  you have micro clippers and you are able [TS]

  to like draw z is here hurry be so he's [TS]

  taking that to the end level he has he [TS]

  has cornrows he's a white guy but he has [TS]

  cornrows [TS]

  are you kidding he's a white guy and he [TS]

  can't believe it or not and he cuts [TS]

  notches in his eyebrows and he draws [TS]

  like he draws very intricate little sort [TS]

  of mazes out of his beard hair on his [TS]

  face and he has he has the mtv logo [TS]

  tattooed on his neck and he is he is all [TS]

  the is really all the 1981 MTV logo [TS]

  yeah okay with with a certain kind of [TS]

  like a young person who likes to snort [TS]

  oxy cotton but who is not a juggalo [TS]

  necessary riffraff is the DJ du jour [TS]

  ok Annie he cuts across all fronts hehe [TS]

  can get appeal to any audience because [TS]

  of his variety of terrible decisions [TS]

  well you remember when we talked about [TS]

  the vein of juggalo right where's the [TS]

  band always talk to you about the vein [TS]

  of juggalo the vein the vein of juggalo [TS]

  runs from just just south of Cincinnati [TS]

  like it's in the south through the [TS]

  center of america down to you know [TS]

  somewhere like south of memphis yeah but [TS]

  and broadens at a certain point it feels [TS]

  very Alabama to me with nothing at all [TS]

  against the wonderful state of Alabama [TS]

  it's got a real kind of Alabama vibe to [TS]

  me there's a lot of that down there but [TS]

  in any case riffraff is he penetrates [TS]

  the agenda buckle juggalo I'm sorry did [TS]

  I said the jane of bungalow yet jainism [TS]

  i think it's a it's a kind of chocolate [TS]

  religion he he penetrates they're here [TS]

  but he also like he's very active in [TS]

  South Florida which are which obviously [TS]

  there's a lot of juggalos there too but [TS]

  i don't know i'm still really still [TS]

  researching the new riff raff ok i went [TS]

  back to you but I know more okay let's [TS]

  table that I'm going to do some research [TS]

  on riff raff i'm pretty sure that that [TS]

  there was really a recent movie where [TS]

  the actor james franco plays a character [TS]

  derived from like the players character [TS]

  that is basically an homage to riff raff [TS]

  is it is it is it played straighter is [TS]

  it Raffe plantation that is a really [TS]

  good question i feel like riffraff may [TS]

  feel like it ain't no thing [TS]

  uh-huh but he might also feel like [TS]

  what's up [TS]

  yes you know what I mean it's a good [TS]

  point yeah so anyway so anyway he can't [TS]

  hehehe have bozo hair [TS]

  yeah sweet guy and then he came back and [TS]

  late August he shows up for a new school [TS]

  year and he has the most luxurious like [TS]

  an anvil like helmet of jet black fake [TS]

  hair the un-named i don't know if i'm [TS]

  assuming it was a toupee it was you know [TS]

  and I'm gonna get to the second to pay [TS]

  dark but like I couldn't even tell what [TS]

  it was I mean it was it was some kind of [TS]

  people helmet was like yeah kind of [TS]

  feels like a woodland creature but it [TS]

  had all the worst components of both the [TS]

  toupee and a comb-over like you know [TS]

  there's a comb-over you can get we're [TS]

  looking animal you can just kind of a [TS]

  trapezoid shape on your head right but i [TS]

  think it was on a second pair i guess so [TS]

  i guess so but you're trying to struggle [TS]

  to explain to my daughter and eventually [TS]

  stopped because I don't want to become a [TS]

  hard person like me but you know but [TS]

  that's the funny thing is like how could [TS]

  you you could try to explain to somebody [TS]

  how to spot somebody with a toupee but [TS]

  it would still not really get to like [TS]

  how you can tell a bad toupee you can [TS]

  tell right like a really bad toupee [TS]

  where you got a two tone hair like Brian [TS]

  got this black thing on top of your head [TS]

  and great was that squirrel attacking [TS]

  that man different textures it doesn't [TS]

  match but I mean even if you look at [TS]

  Tony Bennett who has four years have one [TS]

  of the best drugs in the business you [TS]

  can still kind of tell us a toupee [TS]

  and I i don't i don't know what that is [TS]

  I don't know this is one of those [TS]

  malcolm gladwell turns out things but [TS]

  like it's not age-appropriate hair for [TS]

  one thing we talked about Frank Sinatra [TS]

  Frank Sinatra as as we know used to wear [TS]

  you sells booze a shot him in the studio [TS]

  during his comeback in the fifties and [TS]

  sixties and he's wearing a cool hat [TS]

  yeah you look at pictures of him in [TS]

  whatever the one with the Berlin caster [TS]

  having sex on the beach with that data [TS]

  car like in that movie he's bald man [TS]

  he's balding bald bald man yeah and then [TS]

  suddenly and he's dancing with Nancy [TS]

  Reagan yes and he has a he has like a [TS]

  doormat on his head [TS]

  well but here's where we'll go to the [TS]

  expenses doorman well what I here's my [TS]

  props that I have to give we said this [TS]

  numerous times i think it's worth [TS]

  repeating because that's how you help [TS]

  people and you know I he had a realistic [TS]

  to pay in the sense that yes it was [TS]

  great and yes he had as awful of a man [TS]

  is he was as poorly as he treated me [TS]

  Pharaoh and he still had the presence of [TS]

  mind to get a plausible to pay for it [TS]

  looked like his hair was thinning in the [TS]

  front right right and it was and it was [TS]

  it [TS]

  yeah i would look appropriate yeah yeah [TS]

  anyway I i think it's a funny thing it's [TS]

  a man enough it's all related to the [TS]

  ladies now where the two ladies in in [TS]

  hypothetical competition with one [TS]

  another was their history [TS]

  no not at all and frankly if we can [TS]

  speak honestly and hypothetical they [TS]

  both have amazing hair [TS]

  I don't know how that plays and i'm [TS]

  using natural hair big curl is [TS]

  pathetically oh I hypothetically now big [TS]

  hair [TS]

  I think I hypothetically no one of them [TS]

  is naturally big hair to not like he has [TS]

  great thick not hear that you have to [TS]

  tease up but just hear that just no [TS]

  matter what happened humane generous [TS]

  hair you're on a ferry boat the wind is [TS]

  blowing hair looks great you're here to [TS]

  put up with you Mon longer than probably [TS]

  anybody should have yeah yeah I don't [TS]

  you can explain that to a kid the last [TS]

  ben affleck movie that the town which [TS]

  which I felt like was a I don't know if [TS]

  that was the last but that's like move [TS]

  it was left is when you were with her up [TS]

  whatever the last time i went to a ben [TS]

  affleck movie Oh know what you know what [TS]

  I saw Argo Argo was fine [TS]

  yeah it was fine i think it's deeply [TS]

  deeply overrate nothing against the [TS]

  movie but the budget is way too much for [TS]

  her reaction [TS]

  and all those rewards it didn't deserve [TS]

  it was like a top-20 TV movie zero dark [TS]

  thirty was a better fill that's a very [TS]

  good movie but in any case the last time [TS]

  I saw ben affleck movie where there were [TS]

  a lot of real close ups of the guy I [TS]

  swear to you Merlin I was enjoying the [TS]

  movie that the town [TS]

  yes I was enjoying it i was absorbed in [TS]

  the film every time Ben Affleck came on [TS]

  the movie on the screen all i could do [TS]

  is look at his hairline and go we're is [TS]

  the graft i got i'm looking at a photo [TS]

  how does he do it i'm looking at a [TS]

  pretty well ok so I'm looking one here [TS]

  where he's he's very shortly shorn yeah [TS]

  and it looks real [TS]

  it looks a little while it's so good it [TS]

  drives me crazy I mean this is the [TS]

  problem now that I'm i became aware that [TS]

  many years ago but ever since then I [TS]

  cannot appreciate a ben affleck movie [TS]

  because the only performance i've been [TS]

  i'm interested in is the performance of [TS]

  his hair doctor isn't that awful i am [TS]

  judging his hair dr. the entire time [TS]

  like you are amazing that somebody had a [TS]

  stroke and you're just kind of watching [TS]

  for some kind of sign for watching [TS]

  yourself soup to dribble out of trying [TS]

  to figure out which leg somebody lost in [TS]

  the war before they stood up [TS]

  it's very it's very very distracting I [TS]

  want me another one that one he looked [TS]

  well haired this one I'm looking at now [TS]

  hirsute mmm yes there's hair suit like a [TS]

  hair shirt but fake p.m. then this one [TS]

  he really does look like he's in an ad [TS]

  for the Hair Club for Men his hair looks [TS]

  bad you're saying this one it does [TS]

  because it doesn't conform to the shape [TS]

  of the head [TS]

  it's it's you know what is the thing [TS]

  Michael Jackson had body allocation ok [TS]

  that's the thing where you get body [TS]

  dysmorphic yes [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like it isn't it [TS]

  like a isn't it a starving sister of [TS]

  anorexia will guide you you don't see [TS]

  what you actually look like even though [TS]

  even though they look like lon chaney [TS]

  senior he thought that nose look good [TS]

  yeah just morphia I guess is that it was [TS]

  this region would be of trouble [TS]

  swallowing [TS]

  I think I guess at any rate he i see i [TS]

  think the thing is when you put on your [TS]

  little hair hat you go to the store you [TS]

  get your consultant [TS]

  uur this is that sounds unkind but i [TS]

  think it's a very human thing because [TS]

  you go in there and you want to see [TS]

  yourself as you think you look or as you [TS]

  think you should look for used to look [TS]

  well here's but now so so here we're [TS]

  into a category that kind of haunts me [TS]

  all the time which is that in them in [TS]

  the morning I wake up and I go to my [TS]

  closet and I ask myself how how are we [TS]

  going to dress today how are we going to [TS]

  present herself that's the uniform of [TS]

  the day for challenge and as as chris [TS]

  wallace has has so aptly pointed out [TS]

  sometimes I sometimes I show up at the [TS]

  studio dressed like a space cowboy and [TS]

  he doesn't he doesn't know how to how to [TS]

  prepare for those days he's not he's not [TS]

  expect he's never expecting it and so I [TS]

  walk out of the house sometimes in the [TS]

  most my most recent purchases course a [TS]

  pair of pink pants with little blue [TS]

  anchors on them and I will go outside [TS]

  and i'll be walking around i'll be going [TS]

  through my day and then it will occur to [TS]

  me that maybe I am maybe other people [TS]

  are seeing me differently than i am [TS]

  seeing myself home starting with that [TS]

  right now and i am a 44 year old and I [TS]

  know that I know that there are certain [TS]

  things that it's well in fact i don't i [TS]

  was trying to make a list of all the [TS]

  things that I know I'm too old to wear [TS]

  but i but I don't have anything on that [TS]

  list it so i have that i have no [TS]

  restrictions on on the clothes that i [TS]

  will wear and I'm afraid I'm afraid for [TS]

  myself [TS]

  you haven't gotten to that point you're [TS]

  not you're not seeing what the hairpiece [TS]

  actually looks like yet [TS]

  that's right i'm afraid that that i'm [TS]

  walking down the street and people are [TS]

  saying people are saying unkind things [TS]

  yeah because maybe that maybe the [TS]

  combination of powder blue cowboy boots [TS]

  and pink pants with anchors on them [TS]

  maybe I look like I'm having a stroke [TS]

  and I I think I'm Lila grad yeah but [TS]

  maybe it maybe other people are maybe a [TS]

  maybe the reason that people are so nice [TS]

  to me in supermarkets [TS]

  is they think that I am a disabled [TS]

  person they want to donate avandia yeah [TS]

  but they're like oh look at the poor old [TS]

  guy who suffers from colorblindness I [TS]

  can't like jelly color blindness of his [TS]

  soul haha all [TS]

  yeah I suffered that well I realized [TS]

  early as i was heading that the purchase [TS]

  button on amazon that I probably don't [TS]

  need a third Fantastic Four shirt and [TS]

  it's identical to the other two just [TS]

  that we're almost where my fantastic for [TS]

  sure almost every day so I bought a [TS]

  third one unless yeah you want to go to [TS]

  comic-con with me next year i would do [TS]

  that [TS]

  I'm forgotten to comic-con you know I [TS]

  remember when I made fun of you but yeah [TS]

  we was when we're doing the show I mean [TS]

  it's been the last you know what are a [TS]

  couple years and I make funny you going [TS]

  to comiccon I totally spaced this year I [TS]

  I'm ready to throw myself into Comic Con [TS]

  I'm ready to do it i think we should go [TS]

  I think we should do a performance there [TS]

  and then we do cosplay we should cosplay [TS]

  as each other that we should go to [TS]

  here's what we should do will go to [TS]

  comic-con and we'll cosplay as the [TS]

  mythbusters and we're going to be the [TS]

  Doobie Brothers goodnight and we'll both [TS]

  though we'll do a whole Mythbusters show [TS]

  but it'll be us instead of those guys [TS]

  and you can be the Doobie Brothers guy [TS]

  I'm gonna be Adam Savage [TS]

  he talks a lot less doesn't he The [TS]

  Doobie Brothers going yeah but he's [TS]

  doing you know he's the one that's [TS]

  really that's really blown stuff up [TS]

  oh is that his role he's the he's got [TS]

  the break so he's got to be the guy with [TS]

  the briefcase full of bombs [TS]

  he's he's older and I think he is he's [TS]

  the one that likes to he's more I get [TS]

  the impression that adam is like its [TS]

  kind of the showman he's the showman and [TS]

  then then the other guy the other the [TS]

  other guy Alex let's call him [TS]

  alright my interactions with mr. savage [TS]

  have and I know you're you're closer to [TS]

  him than i am but all of my interactions [TS]

  with him have been a perfect delight he [TS]

  is like one of the nicest kind of famous [TS]

  people I've ever met in my life and and [TS]

  he's so much exactly like what you would [TS]

  expect but even nicer in my experience [TS]

  yeah he's extraordinary I i concur i [TS]

  have never replace your songs of parties [TS]

  well but but but but what you're saying [TS]

  is is like absolutely true and stuff [TS]

  finishing about him which is that you [TS]

  meet him and he is exactly what you [TS]

  would hope which is a thing that you [TS]

  cannot you never say that about how [TS]

  about the way i said i'm not saying that [TS]

  to sound fancy i'm saying that because [TS]

  like my ex but I've you know I'm an [TS]

  older man now my expectations for [TS]

  meeting people that I admire are very [TS]

  measured right and right and you're hot [TS]

  every measured but I ever expect a guy [TS]

  to exceed your expectations in every way [TS]

  and he does consist yeah i mean i don't [TS]

  want to oversell it but yeah I have to [TS]

  say it is it's very unusual have been a [TS]

  few people that are really admire that [TS]

  meant last in a couple three years as i [TS]

  as i get a little more exposure to the [TS]

  corridors of power [TS]

  you like that huh you've known me longer [TS]

  than it's it's it's true I've had your [TS]

  Android's in my in my inflatable bed [TS]

  inflatable literally literally we have [TS]

  to have it destroyed it's like like [TS]

  gattaca or something [TS]

  listen you and I are going to go to [TS]

  comic-con I think we should go to [TS]

  comic-con John and we're going to swim [TS]

  in order you a shirt [TS]

  yeah we're going to be both whatever [TS]

  format that's not for us [TS]

  no here's the deal will both were [TS]

  fantastic four shirts and we'll both [TS]

  wear pink trousers with blinkers on them [TS]

  oh my god wait a minute maybe we should [TS]

  cause play as the Fantastic Four i would [TS]

  love to be storm Richards can I be this [TS]

  mr. stretchy you can mr. stretch he's [TS]

  such a dick [TS]

  he's not about to get the part where [TS]

  Reed is not a dick United mr. stretchy [TS]

  and mr. Flay me both at the same time I [TS]

  think he should be mr. Rocky and mr. [TS]

  stretchy Oh mr. Rocky and mr. stretch [TS]

  key but I was walking around in in my [TS]

  second blue Fantastic Four shirt and I [TS]

  had on you you're the one getting back [TS]

  into 50 ones in 10 years ago and now all [TS]

  I where is these five or six pairs of [TS]

  five on one's in different flavors and [TS]

  then the ones that still fit me are very [TS]

  holy I mean it's just I'm just and you [TS]

  know you know where we're patterns are [TS]

  so weird [TS]

  yeah i know we're through them in this [TS]

  and in places where like I do nothing in [TS]

  that area of my body [TS]

  well and like I'm not a pant scientist [TS]

  but it seems crazy to me that yes it is [TS]

  in an uneven way like with shoes [TS]

  probably a chiropractic problem but I [TS]

  always one need look down [TS]

  ok right knee blows out way faster and [TS]

  bigger than my left knee [TS]

  right of course I got a hole on the [TS]

  right side where myspace pen [TS]

  okie and keys keep rubbing i have an [TS]

  iphone shaped rectangle on my left [TS]

  pocket you have a toucan ring in your [TS]

  backpack is it doing that you can't [TS]

  answer that you can say I'm but i but I [TS]

  ya know that they brought the same time [TS]

  walking around interesting matters not [TS]

  important you get back to hair and [TS]

  Beyonce but I but um where I'm wearing [TS]

  I'm wearing a fantastic for sure and i'm [TS]

  wearing these pants that look that are [TS]

  so hobo and the coffee stains on them [TS]

  and then send some guys in your [TS]

  neighborhood at the at the humble place [TS]

  start pointing and laughing as you walk [TS]

  by tampon and that yeah i'm wearing a [TS]

  purple converse like Hawkeye worse so [TS]

  that's that's a moment that was a moment [TS]

  where I said you know this may not be [TS]

  anything appropriate let alone [TS]

  age-appropriate I pick up your honor its [TS]

  places and I feel like they're they're [TS]

  going to like extra double check me for [TS]

  security are you are you wearing your [TS]

  second a fantastic four shirt because [TS]

  you have them labeled like Pete [TS]

  Townsend's guitars like one through four [TS]

  or are you wearing your second because [TS]

  you blew out the first one you know I [TS]

  just don't do laundry enough and i want [TS]

  to i don't want to i'm not an animal [TS]

  so you have three and they're all in [TS]

  rotation [TS]

  okay yeah i mean like what I mean you [TS]

  got you got several reckon backers right [TS]

  you see you know where the same one all [TS]

  the time [TS]

  no I just have one written back it [TS]

  sounds right it was at the 330 nobody [TS]

  had fucker [TS]

  it's a 360 360 sorry and yeah i just [TS]

  have the one and I and I haven't played [TS]

  in a long time because as you know I'm a [TS]

  mathematical I'm one too bad I'm not [TS]

  currently making rock band music and so [TS]

  the guitar just decided not to do my job [TS]

  join the club Johnny way to go out what [TS]

  I think we're here so the other day the [TS]

  other day comic con amore comic-con so [TS]

  write down ComicCon in big letters on a [TS]

  on a three by five card remember when we [TS]

  go we're gonna go next year okay um the [TS]

  other day based based largely on on [TS]

  conversation that you and I have had and [TS]

  on this podcast i decided i was going to [TS]

  stop eating bread pasta and sugar is [TS]

  that right [TS]

  and I've actually been doing it now for [TS]

  45 days living entirely on like a [TS]

  lettuce like i'm using lettuce instead [TS]

  of bread and I got a Cobb salad the [TS]

  other day which I was just like cobb [TS]

  salad couple of cheese on it right yeah [TS]

  but who I mean who orders a Cobb salad [TS]

  like it's like it's something Hugh [TS]

  Hefner would order for somebody who [TS]

  doesn't want people to know he's gay [TS]

  right like Bob's always got ham on it [TS]

  really but I ordered it and I ate it [TS]

  I've been eating all this food that is [TS]

  not my normal time so interested in this [TS]

  well so I'm really tripping out like my [TS]

  whole body is just I I can't say that it [TS]

  feels better [TS]

  it just feels different it feels weird [TS]

  so for five days [TS]

  yeah and and so you're if you're really [TS]

  sticking with it mostly you're getting [TS]

  your near the hump [TS]

  I think the first week is really hard I [TS]

  mean it's weird like you're going to God [TS]

  eggs again [TS]

  yeah it's weird and I woke up like I [TS]

  just ate eggs for dinner eggs and [TS]

  spinach pretend i'm looking at this food [TS]

  and I'm like is this food this seems [TS]

  like i know that all the ingredients are [TS]

  food right and you put it all together [TS]

  and it is food but it feels like [TS]

  something that you would get on like [TS]

  Kazakh Stan airlines like there is [TS]

  something missing in that portion of [TS]

  eggs comes it starts like it's like food [TS]

  that you would food that you would be [TS]

  you'd be five days into a seven day hike [TS]

  and you'd be opening up your [TS]

  freeze-dried bags like well I've got [TS]

  some eggs well I've got some spinach [TS]

  yeah what I wasn't bring this up last [TS]

  time [TS]

  um unless I knew that your kind of [TS]

  thinking about but [TS]

  the one reason this intrigues me i'm [TS]

  curious that this factored into it at [TS]

  all [TS]

  aight you're a man who ate almost [TS]

  anything you've ever wanted to quit or [TS]

  chosen to quit you've done cold turkey [TS]

  right yeah you just you don't you don't [TS]

  you don't say oh I'm going to taper off [TS]

  the cigarette so I don't know it doesn't [TS]

  work right and but it's interesting [TS]

  because the the yeah you know sure it's [TS]

  kind of half joke but like you know how [TS]

  you keep cigarettes around the house [TS]

  just to prove that you don't have to [TS]

  smoke them have a Pakistani I have a I [TS]

  have three quarters of a pack of [TS]

  cigarettes in my house [TS]

  Wow and unite and I go sometimes and I [TS]

  pick him up and look at him leave it and [TS]

  I go and we could leave it leave it [TS]

  no I don't I mean I'm I'm where I'm way [TS]

  past now I like the last time I quit [TS]

  smoking which was the 20th time I quit [TS]

  smoking something really did change in [TS]

  me [TS]

  oh and i look at them now and night and [TS]

  they seem like some they seem like [TS]

  something from another planet that I'd [TS]

  they have no appeal to me and in the [TS]

  past I would I kept that pack of [TS]

  cigarettes around until I finally smoked [TS]

  one a year and a half later now but now [TS]

  it's been several it's been four years [TS]

  and I haven't really been that long [TS]

  yeah and I still pick up that pack of [TS]

  cigarettes and look at it and I'm like [TS]

  oh it's just a different a different [TS]

  response to it looking just like well i [TS]

  mean i have i have probably five cigars [TS]

  I brought back from Cuba that I keep in [TS]

  a humidifier and I keep it humidified [TS]

  yeah but I look at them and they seem [TS]

  like uh it's that it would be the same [TS]

  it if I had a bottle of 54 chateau [TS]

  lafayette or whatever I mean right [TS]

  an interesting thing this is why it's [TS]

  nice to have a friend who smoke some of [TS]

  them for you [TS]

  yeah next time you're up you should [TS]

  smoke all these old cigar old lines will [TS]

  let this is what's interesting to me as [TS]

  an experiment because you know who you [TS]

  talked about your relationship with food [TS]

  at you no just looking at something like [TS]

  the egg and spinach dinner like that [TS]

  really seems super fucking weird because [TS]

  in your mind that doesn't mean not even [TS]

  just that that's a breakfast thing or [TS]

  that that's a brunch thing I mean it's [TS]

  you realize is my guess the question is [TS]

  like first of all can this be a kind of [TS]

  John leave it experiment but also [TS]

  doesn't make you aware of like how [TS]

  weirdly a part of your life a certain [TS]

  kind of way of eating is like [TS]

  eating a certain kind of food late at [TS]

  night yep isn't it doesn't make you wear [TS]

  that because that's what i feel i feel [TS]

  like i feel so off-center because again [TS]

  I go back on which I i can have some may [TS]

  not have another boiled egg white a [TS]

  boiled egg it's three in the afternoon [TS]

  what's wrong with you [TS]

  yeah right was very distressed feels [TS]

  very disruptive it's 1030 tonight it's [TS]

  peanut butter cup time and it's like [TS]

  nope it's not peanut butter cup time but [TS]

  at what would it [TS]

  it's making me aware of is that I sub i [TS]

  have substituted quantity for variety in [TS]

  food for a long time if I am making food [TS]

  at home i make a one pound of pasta [TS]

  rather than making a four-course meal [TS]

  for myself so ice [TS]

  I you know I will put vegetables in the [TS]

  spaghetti sauce but idea i would not [TS]

  make a second plate of vegetables and [TS]

  taking away the pounds of pasta [TS]

  I you know like I'm looking at my meals [TS]

  now and realizing that the stomach or [TS]

  nutrition the core interesting part of [TS]

  the meal is is not interesting enough [TS]

  you know like a little dollop of this [TS]

  really what you want to have a vegetable [TS]

  course you you want to have a salad you [TS]

  want to have on you want to have other [TS]

  elements something I mean the one that [TS]

  really got me was potatoes I got not a [TS]

  giant potato and he's like I don't have [TS]

  to have potatoes and pasta with every [TS]

  meal but it was amazing how quickly I [TS]

  you know I I would that's how I would [TS]

  have burgers i would have a burger with [TS]

  cheese and stuff in Greenleaf lettuce [TS]

  and like that's actually really really [TS]

  good [TS]

  it's it's great and it's it's just as [TS]

  good as a hamburger [TS]

  it's just but then like where's the [TS]

  fucking french fries why are there not [TS]

  any potatoes with this it's yes isn't [TS]

  that strange [TS]

  yeah something's missing and [TS]

  particularly a strawberry milkshake is [TS]

  missing [TS]

  mm so anyway I'm figuring it out because [TS]

  i do i because i opened the atkins book [TS]

  right and i looked at I read it and it's [TS]

  just like everything in the world [TS]

  son where some white guys trying to tell [TS]

  me how to live and I read it and I was [TS]

  like listen I am the white guy who tells [TS]

  other people how to live [TS]

  not you mr. whoever-you-are mr. slip on [TS]

  the ice and I so I'm reading his book [TS]

  and he's like if you have if you breathe [TS]

  in the smell of a of a buttercup as [TS]

  you're walking through a park you are [TS]

  you're off the diet and you need to go [TS]

  back and put your head in a bucket of [TS]

  frozen you know anywhere for his enemy [TS]

  frozen meat helmet and and I was like I [TS]

  can't live like this isn't so this isn't [TS]

  going to be sustainable [TS]

  I'm never going away my food I'm never [TS]

  gonna do any of this stupid shit but I [TS]

  know what my problem is I mean my [TS]

  problem is that I eat one pound of pasta [TS]

  average myself down at a table and that [TS]

  would not make an interesting 300-page [TS]

  book that is the day that is that that [TS]

  is a tweet length problem and so eat [TS]

  less exercise more is not going to be a [TS]

  best-selling book it's gonna be longer [TS]

  than that but there it is in a nutshell [TS]

  and so taking away taking away this [TS]

  spread in the pasta and the rice and and [TS]

  sugar candy seems like it a workable [TS]

  thing but I am NOT sitting here trying [TS]

  to put myself into ketosis and then that [TS]

  monitor my pee with the pregnancy strips [TS]

  or whatever it is that people did that [TS]

  about some of those diabetes strips and [TS]

  did you turn to the return color isn't a [TS]

  video game I wanted to make a change and [TS]

  did it [TS]

  um I think it did and they hear it did [TS]

  you think did you think you won gallica [TS]

  did you win gallon multi-ball I well [TS]

  here's okay mom this is not a defense of [TS]

  that but i think first of all you there [TS]

  has to be a big hook and it has to be a [TS]

  certain number of pages long [TS]

  the Paleo diet paintball the Paleo diet [TS]

  because even worse [TS]

  I mean it's i counted it's ten chapters [TS]

  before they tell you what to eat [TS]

  oh it's just like this is going to [TS]

  revolutionize your last nine chapters of [TS]

  like I'm gonna get into because you know [TS]

  you'll get email but like there's like [TS]

  nine chapters of here is the [TS]

  indisputable science by this whole [TS]

  self-help book somebody said you know [TS]

  you know tear the book in half and start [TS]

  reading there you know we we opened up [TS]

  the stomach of the prehistoric Austrian [TS]

  simply too much about it that just it's [TS]

  like it's like anything looking [TS]

  that turns out stuff like it's okay as [TS]

  long as you don't think about it too [TS]

  much but you have to sleep in a [TS]

  completely dark room that's actually [TS]

  great like i do that i turn off [TS]

  everything and I want the darkest room [TS]

  possible and the reason is because we [TS]

  used to strip and caves under the scars [TS]

  like well okay but didn't you have a [TS]

  fire while you were sleeping indicate [TS]

  doesn't count as light right he also [TS]

  went to bed at eight o'clock at night [TS]

  when the Sun went down as you do but [TS]

  because he missed my defense but I'm [TS]

  gonna say is that i think as with the [TS]

  Marines and cults the more that you can [TS]

  dramatize the amount of how much you [TS]

  have to plunge yourself into this and [TS]

  get rid of your old ideas [TS]

  the more you can make people understand [TS]

  not even believe or think but one [TS]

  hundred percent accept that this is [TS]

  going to be a sea change and how they [TS]

  deal with the world the more you can do [TS]

  that the more the more likely you are to [TS]

  succeed with whatever it is and in that [TS]

  case I mean you know the context of [TS]

  stuff i can I think it's a MacGuffin I [TS]

  don't know I don't know there's not much [TS]

  science behind that but I do know that [TS]

  when you start to think more about what [TS]

  you eat you tend to eat better [TS]

  yeah well so don't talk about food [TS]

  this is great yeah the larger prompt the [TS]

  large problem for me is that like a [TS]

  adulthood has more or less been a series [TS]

  of of exorcisms of of whatever what with [TS]

  the various demons that I that I brought [TS]

  out of my teen years right at when I [TS]

  when I was 24 years old I was like a [TS]

  like a Bruegel painting I mean I had I [TS]

  had had demons and fairies accompanying [TS]

  me everywhere and one by one I have [TS]

  invited them to leave and now i'm 44 and [TS]

  I've got all these like I've got a bunch [TS]

  of quiet demons left you know and and [TS]

  and all these like demons the day that I [TS]

  can feel like our friends or maybe [TS]

  they're not even demons maybe they're [TS]

  Icelandic kiddin people or maybe they [TS]

  are [TS]

  the gnomes or as you know as Shawn [TS]

  Nelson was telling me the other day that [TS]

  that meditation really helped him and I [TS]

  said I mean I do you have liked to have [TS]

  George Harrison thoughts now are you [TS]

  you started he's starting to think that [TS]

  there are you trying to give peace a [TS]

  chance and he said no but I do i do [TS]

  believe in gnomes now huh which I think [TS]

  I guess is a side effect of meditating [TS]

  I've never tried it but I've got all [TS]

  these I've got all these quiet friends [TS]

  that are like oh you're kind of you're [TS]

  actually a demon are you you you were [TS]

  like drafting off of the loud demons and [TS]

  now they're gone and now and can all [TS]

  these like these these guys left around [TS]

  that I'm like it is adulthood is the [TS]

  whole made my whole process going to be [TS]

  just like sweeping out my closets my [TS]

  whole life and by the time that I get [TS]

  like I've finally have got a clean bear [TS]

  apartment and I put toothpaste in all [TS]

  the nail holes huh and and then i'll be [TS]

  ready to take the ferry across this dust [TS]

  opportunity to go you just have your [TS]

  hands ok done done and that is [TS]

  yeah yeah so so I i'm not sure that that [TS]

  is a like I'm trying to look I'm trying [TS]

  to think big picture now and I don't [TS]

  want my life to just be a process of of [TS]

  of kicking people out of my mental house [TS]

  but trying to get ahold of this food [TS]

  thing and then realizing like I mean a [TS]

  big a big part of being 44 years old [TS]

  having a child and being as yet [TS]

  unmarried is addressing this question of [TS]

  like it's one thing when you're 27 to [TS]

  read a magazine article that says human [TS]

  beings are not [TS]

  monogamous by nature that is a social [TS]

  construct and when you're 27 years old [TS]

  you read that you go all right yeah [TS]

  totally [TS]

  that makes sense i knew that all along [TS]

  whatever but at 44 years old [TS]

  all my friends are paired off in mated [TS]

  couples and there is a certain i have [TS]

  been taking on this feeling of or rather [TS]

  feelin myself escapes swimming against [TS]

  the current in a way that used to give [TS]

  me great satisfaction and now feels like [TS]

  it is i'm open to the idea that it is an [TS]

  unnecessary labor why why am I always [TS]

  swimming upstream against my peers [TS]

  against nature against the inevitable [TS]

  and I don't know how to I don't know how [TS]

  to approach it next you know like I [TS]

  don't want to it's again it's at the [TS]

  thing about the it's a question of [TS]

  wearing anchor pans to the supermarket [TS]

  at a certain point we feel like [TS]

  we feel like a guy who is dating a [TS]

  younger girl like when you are 27 and [TS]

  you have a 21 year old girlfriend that [TS]

  is that's like a socially acceptable and [TS]

  it is it is appealing to almost [TS]

  everybody I mean they're very few people [TS]

  that are gonna look a scan sat that but [TS]

  when you are 50 and have a 25-year old [TS]

  girlfriend it begins to be unseemly [TS]

  maybe it's a long way past being [TS]

  unseemly right and at what point do [TS]

  level point is chasing girls the [TS]

  equivalent of wearing glasses for sure [TS]

  or a fantastic for teacher tucked into [TS]

  your dad jeans at comic-con are picking [TS]

  up your your your daughter you're here [TS]

  then 14 year old daughter at her high [TS]

  school and and her friend I mean I me [TS]

  I'm over here [TS]

  hey who's your friend Tommy be so I'm so [TS]

  all these things are now you know I'm I [TS]

  I believe I may be in middle age now I [TS]

  think that science would confirm it for [TS]

  your age don't worry about that i'm in [TS]

  middle age right i am i'm straight in [TS]

  the middle of it and I get your if [TS]

  you're lucky you're a middle-aged right [TS]

  exactly let's hope and shall law [TS]

  oh um but so so what am i doing like it [TS]

  might have i'm doing the same things [TS]

  I've always done so there's no midlife [TS]

  crisis I'd I I can't afford to buy a red [TS]

  car [TS]

  so what it what am i doing like what is [TS]

  what is my what's my big picture [TS]

  I'm with you on everything except for [TS]

  the relationship thing I you know [TS]

  because I major amazed it well but I you [TS]

  know I think I think that's some very [TS]

  subtle coloration there you know I mean [TS]

  it'sit's ya said ya [TS]

  I don't know I just I guess I just feel [TS]

  like I i'm with you i mean i'm with you [TS]

  on 99.9 percent of everything else I [TS]

  understand i think i understand why you [TS]

  would say their way you feel that way [TS]

  totally it makes a hundred percent since [TS]

  but the fact it's like feeling it's one [TS]

  thing to say like hey you know I really [TS]

  like to settle down with somebody that's [TS]

  the thing i want to do in the same way [TS]

  that I don't need a pound of pasta i [TS]

  would like to go i like to pick one and [TS]

  and make this make this work for better [TS]

  for worse a pic one line them up and [TS]

  find a good one I think that's yeah but [TS]

  I mean that's you know there's a lot of [TS]

  people you know who you know I i think [TS]

  that's that's not an unreasonable thing [TS]

  one is certainly something to me like [TS]

  embarrassed about but the pipe put the [TS]

  pressure part is what I don't as much [TS]

  you know by because that doesn't seem [TS]

  like your ml is that what you're [TS]

  struggling with is like well you know [TS]

  the pressure part what's bugging you [TS]

  know not not an external pressure but [TS]

  you know like an internal pressure of [TS]

  feeling in some ways tired of explaining [TS]

  yourself [TS]

  yeah we ever found getting married to [TS]

  help the hat but tired of explaining [TS]

  myself to myself is I know you know and [TS]

  and part of this Merlin I have to be [TS]

  honest my mom went on okcupid at 79 [TS]

  years old and found an 80 year old guy [TS]

  who restores cars she let him and her [TS]

  life and now she's dating and Spencer do [TS]

  I have no context for this [TS]

  no you listen listen to listen to me [TS]

  listen to my voice I don't even know [TS]

  what to do [TS]

  she's dating she spends every waking [TS]

  minute with this guy he's a nice guy but [TS]

  he's a two year old guy your mother [TS]

  never stops surprising me they go for [TS]

  drives in his 1947 buick convertible but [TS]

  he restored it sounds like the Rain Man [TS]

  car [TS]

  yeah that's exactly what it is yeah well [TS]

  that's a sweet ride [TS]

  so she shows up over my house today with [TS]

  this guy [TS]

  dropping off Gibson the dog what and I'm [TS]

  like water with whatever you can get the [TS]

  washer [TS]

  yeah so what was what was Gibson doing [TS]

  here and she's like oh well you know [TS]

  we're going over to the to kitsap county [TS]

  for the weekend long weekend three days [TS]

  so you're watching Gibson and I'm like [TS]

  when did I get drafted into this whole [TS]

  business I why am I dogsitting now but [TS]

  it is very confusing to me as an adult [TS]

  man that my mom after a 30-year absence [TS]

  from the dating pool has returned to it [TS]

  with a bigger but it's also i mean like [TS]

  enough to tell you about your mom but I [TS]

  mean like it strikes me that it's not [TS]

  even something as simple as being out of [TS]

  the the dating thing but she seems just [TS]

  very resolute in her has a I mean this [TS]

  is not absolutely not deceive not [TS]

  independent now but she's been so [TS]

  resolutely defiantly independent and I'm [TS]

  just talking to her conversation she [TS]

  doesn't change we talked to her she [TS]

  doesn't say things she's exactly the way [TS]

  she is and she's not gonna stop making [TS]

  sound unkind but she won't say things [TS]

  like just to make you happy [TS]

  she's very gracious she's very she's a [TS]

  very kind person but she doesn't just [TS]

  say bullshit [TS]

  no she tells you if you said something [TS]

  wrong that's right and it's it's really [TS]

  is being around her is really really [TS]

  stunning experience [TS]

  I'm got him thrown for her but it's an [TS]

  interesting change [TS]

  she's gross she can grow it for freaking [TS]

  79 years old ten years ago she said to [TS]

  me other people will always be nothing [TS]

  but a disappointment to you and you [TS]

  should you should just get used to that [TS]

  fact and stop trying to make other [TS]

  people and important part of your life [TS]

  and I was like mom that's that's great [TS]

  and everything if we were snow Giants [TS]

  but contrary to what you kind of think [TS]

  we're not a snow Giants we are not a [TS]

  separate race up of a of mountain Giants [TS]

  we are normals to within within some [TS]

  certain tolerances and I'm you know 30 [TS]

  years old i'm not going to eliminate [TS]

  other people from my life quite yet and [TS]

  she shrugged her shoulders [TS]

  roll her eyes and said all right [TS]

  whatever do what you gotta do is really [TS]

  odd advice with a very clear with the [TS]

  clear like sense that she was like [TS]

  you'll basically you'll be back it [TS]

  you'll be back in ten years with it with [TS]

  a thousand disappointments fucking tell [TS]

  me how that worked out [TS]

  ready to hear my advice ready to hear [TS]

  you know creating to to march up typic [TS]

  to the crystal castle that we built at [TS]

  the North Pole she pulled a switcheroo [TS]

  and now she's like to do like driving [TS]

  around kitsap county in a 40 in a [TS]

  convertible and i'm watching the dog and [TS]

  so I'm like what the fuck like okay [TS]

  alright alright i might take it back [TS]

  this is making more sense now so i'm [TS]

  having a little bit of like all right [TS]

  well my whole business of like trying to [TS]

  find a balance between minded my needs [TS]

  as a as a as a half's no giant [TS]

  half-human and my have to be a fighter [TS]

  or can be an illusionist I feel like you [TS]

  like a paladin on speaking of Maryland [TS]

  versus Avant i would like to give you a [TS]

  parade magazine level of sophistication [TS]

  observation that may or may not be [TS]

  germane because it's going to involve [TS]

  ken jennings breaks it's because i'm a [TS]

  little mad at him right now [TS]

  really ok i write that down let's talk [TS]

  about automatic huh [TS]

  okay i won't have I'm always interested [TS]

  in learning about your grudges [TS]

  um I don't know that I've been thinking [TS]

  about this later I its it seems sort of [TS]

  related [TS]

  it's a human being a little kid and you [TS]

  always can't wait for the future when [TS]

  things are going to be better [TS]

  you can't wait until the school day is [TS]

  done right you can't wait until the [TS]

  school week is over so you can have a [TS]

  weekend [TS]

  you can't wait to Christmas break like [TS]

  you know you just can't you just can't [TS]

  wait and God knows you can't wait to [TS]

  summer vacation [TS]

  well at least you know once i'm 17 and [TS]

  go to an r-rated movie want some 18 and [TS]

  so on and so on and and you know these [TS]

  so for so long it's I don't mean I'm not [TS]

  trying to sound wise but I think you do [TS]

  at least I spent a lot of my youth just [TS]

  thinking about like how when can I put [TS]

  all this behind me [TS]

  and get to what's actually the good [TS]

  stuff in life is and you know the [TS]

  obvious you know whatever bobby [TS]

  goldsboro version of this is that you [TS]

  know your youth goes by DD but now it's [TS]

  really thats yes that's currently try [TS]

  but of course it is true which makes it [TS]

  but right things are true but then the [TS]

  other thing I've been thinking about [TS]

  lately there's no man's land that you [TS]

  might call your thirties where you know [TS]

  that's just normal life or whatever but [TS]

  then the things I'm thinking about now [TS]

  and when you were talking about your [TS]

  demons and gnomes and frost giants [TS]

  what is a snow chance it isn't also [TS]

  isn't it interesting that when you get [TS]

  to our age now you start thinking about [TS]

  how much of the stuff from the preceding [TS]

  40 years you've got to get rid of like [TS]

  all that time you were just thinking [TS]

  about what's going to happen in the [TS]

  future whether or not you're actually [TS]

  planning for it you're just waiting for [TS]

  the life that's out there for you [TS]

  somewhere and so you spend all this time [TS]

  just waiting for it to go by DD and then [TS]

  isn't it funny that you get to a certain [TS]

  point you're like fucking my pants don't [TS]

  fit all these years of we're eating i [TS]

  have to shut that all of these years of [TS]

  thinking I could I could smoke three [TS]

  packs of cigarettes a day and be okay i [TS]

  gotta shut that all these years of [TS]

  thinking that eventually love will fall [TS]

  in my lap I gotta shed that and so then [TS]

  and this is what your mom's story i [TS]

  think is Jermaine is that I don't know [TS]

  if you feel that way but like I I'm not [TS]

  like you know I'm not a plastic about it [TS]

  but I do think about that now it's weird [TS]

  that like instead of thinking about the [TS]

  future in some ways now I feel like I've [TS]

  got to address the past and in the end [TS]

  the extent to which you feel yourself [TS]

  having to address your past can become a [TS]

  skin stifle your actually weirdly bright [TS]

  future that you could have you know [TS]

  because you've gotta dress the past [TS]

  right you gotta settle these things that [TS]

  are still around but you know in the [TS]

  case of your mom I think that's kind of [TS]

  weird [TS]

  it's courageous is it for her likes put [TS]

  behind her all that resolution and to [TS]

  try this is really weird new thing but [TS]

  I'm you could do you feel that at all I [TS]

  mean like everything you're describing [TS]

  in some ways and the setting aside the [TS]

  the relationship part all stuff about [TS]

  food and substances and stuff [TS]

  amazing that it's kind of a certain kind [TS]

  of chickens coming home to roost really [TS]

  well I can't really move on to this one [TS]

  thing until I sort of address these old [TS]

  things [TS]

  oh yeah i mean when i think about [TS]

  when I I mean whenever I address my past [TS]

  I feel like I feel like d'Artagnan on a [TS]

  bridge fighting off like 15 granted ears [TS]

  a where you know for whatever reason [TS]

  three of them all attacked me at the [TS]

  same time and i am able to block them [TS]

  with one Perry and then I turned to the [TS]

  other side of the bridge and you know [TS]

  you remember the way to the Grenadiers [TS]

  is always attack and threes what makes [TS]

  it a run actually kick 3 these guys as [TS]

  you turn around you get another three [TS]

  guys that kind of thing with arbonne [TS]

  international there and so is very [TS]

  effective it seems like the more [TS]

  training right it does and in and and [TS]

  but what it enables you to do is fight [TS]

  12 men at a time because they're only [TS]

  attacking three at a time and all three [TS]

  of them are making the same attack each [TS]

  time i get three guys attacked you one [TS]

  when I one went low and 11 in the middle [TS]

  you'd there would be no defense but [TS]

  they're a bunch of guys with long does [TS]

  in the back and some guys with bikes [TS]

  here and another guy with a dagger [TS]

  coming over the side of the bridge one [TS]

  blunderbuss and the whole payment but in [TS]

  any case that is right it's disruptive [TS]

  is what its I spend a lot of time I [TS]

  don't know if people other people are [TS]

  like this I confess this one time to a [TS]

  friend of mine and he like got real [TS]

  quiet we're walking downtown and I was [TS]

  like do you ever right before you go to [TS]

  sleep late bed and just imagine like [TS]

  kidnapping all your enemies in a place [TS]

  where you blacked out the windows and [TS]

  take them to a desert prison camp that [TS]

  you've built and then like keeping them [TS]

  in isolation and feeding them [TS]

  hallucinogens and showing them like [TS]

  weird movies trying to drive them insane [TS]

  leaving the lights on all the time and [TS]

  it said no I'll come on everybody thinks [TS]

  about that [TS]

  come on seriously like what does isn't [TS]

  that a way that you comfort yourself as [TS]

  you are drifting off into sleep he tried [TS]

  to prime your dreams with a little bit [TS]

  of like hey I am kidnapping all the bad [TS]

  people as part of a cross-country sweep [TS]

  just the worst one you could your cross [TS]

  between like Nick Fury and John Wayne [TS]

  Gacy but with Ricky's is right and and [TS]

  my Victim list is also lebs like Rush [TS]

  Limbaugh look at her get hurt ken [TS]

  jennings dick cheney no ken is i mean [TS]

  i'm at can but I'm not gonna put it on [TS]

  wear sarees not worthy of a brainwashing [TS]

  not gonna put him in a desert prison [TS]

  camp and feed him he loses the jensen [TS]

  and keep the lights on all day [TS]

  good for you no no he and I are he and I [TS]

  can resolve our differences on the [TS]

  street but I think Michael bottom huh [TS]

  Cheney and I like there's a real [TS]

  imbalance is not enough light to turn on [TS]

  for that guy and I I've created a whole [TS]

  I've created a whole apartment [TS]

  underground with Dick Cheney's going to [TS]

  live while I very suddenly become his [TS]

  friend i will be in a lab coat so he'll [TS]

  know i have some authority and he also [TS]

  will know that he can't get out with a [TS]

  clipboard and photos of his kids [TS]

  yeah yeah but it'll be a comfortable [TS]

  apartment it's not going to be like [TS]

  uncomfortable for him there and you know [TS]

  and he and there will be a video monitor [TS]

  where he can talk to recordings of [TS]

  possible and it's like Silence of the [TS]

  Lambs meets a little bit pow [TS]

  that's right but little by little i'm [TS]

  going to up the dose of LSD and his [TS]

  drinking water [TS]

  and i'm going to introduce like [TS]

  increasingly more confusing and [TS]

  cigarettes events it's a total gas [TS]

  lighting situation where is the picture [TS]

  of his family that's always been on the [TS]

  end table is just going to be subtly [TS]

  modified something that used to be in [TS]

  the background isn't going to be there [TS]

  when he finally passes out you switch [TS]

  out for us like getting slightly smaller [TS]

  class [TS]

  yeah that's right it's gonna be exactly [TS]

  that type of situation grammar different [TS]

  but the bathroom is going to be six [TS]

  inches smaller in on all dimensions all [TS]

  this is so good [TS]

  that's when it's gonna end in my big [TS]

  cats it's gonna it's gonna be like it's [TS]

  gonna happen over the course of like [TS]

  years like you said it i think about [TS]

  that stuff gonna be living in this [TS]

  underground bunker and his apartment [TS]

  will be one of many apartments [TS]

  look up an optical yeah when the back [TS]

  we'll be living nearby they will be [TS]

  building your messages to each other [TS]

  like Steve McQueen know they will have [TS]

  no awareness of one another you'll get a [TS]

  baseball through against the wall except [TS]

  periodically I may introduce one of them [TS]

  into one of the other departments like [TS]

  he'll wake up in the morning and tell [TS]

  their [TS]

  their [TS]

  they will be sharing an apartment maybe [TS]

  glenn beck is dressed as a fancy society [TS]

  lady but at this point [TS]

  yeah they will at this point they will [TS]

  have been their minds will have been [TS]

  broken down it will be like the movie [TS]

  seven kind of insist that i'm sorry to [TS]

  keep trying to drop all these references [TS]

  but it'sit's so many of the darkest [TS]

  aspects of like 300 years of literature [TS]

  well you know really it's medieval in a [TS]

  lot of ways but with the ability with [TS]

  the technology what you can do to really [TS]

  fuck somebody up with a little bit of [TS]

  planning and that's the thing it has to [TS]

  be it has to go slowly and in order for [TS]

  it to be interesting i would have to [TS]

  have a would have to be doing the [TS]

  simultaneously to a lot of bad men go [TS]

  for it to scale [TS]

  yeah just because i don't want to spend [TS]

  my whole day thinking about what kind of [TS]

  thing about the subtle ways I'm fucking [TS]

  with like Jace exchange it would be kind [TS]

  of weird to just do it the one guy but [TS]

  there's something kind of grand about [TS]

  doing it to 80 yeah like 80 guys in [TS]

  apartments built off of a retired a [TS]

  missile silo some of those are mine [TS]

  shaft and stopped somewhere way way out [TS]

  in my domain where no one is suspicious [TS]

  of the fact that we have likes a bunch [TS]

  of trailers with with the with satellite [TS]

  dishes on them kind of how educational [TS]

  changed pockets and and and we're just [TS]

  running this really long game on [TS]

  everybody [TS]

  anyway this is how I put myself to sleep [TS]

  at night and I've met and I have not [TS]

  found a lot of my friends want to talk [TS]

  about it i think that's I think that's [TS]

  very I think it's a shame that people [TS]

  not admit that they thought about things [TS]

  like that not know me i'm not [TS]

  particularly no i'm not a vengeful [TS]

  person but i do like fucking with people [TS]

  so the gas lighting part of it is really [TS]

  appealing to me like if I if it's one of [TS]

  those things where it's like one of [TS]

  those ethical questions like you know if [TS]

  nobody's around you steal a Snickers bar [TS]

  from the crippled kids box you know I [TS]

  mean except in this case is dick cheney [TS]

  i think--not know what you're talking [TS]

  about yeah you never had a job but [TS]

  likely workplaces and they'll have like [TS]

  little cardboard box dykes cam to begin [TS]

  with on the truth hey they hang two [TS]

  bananas from the roof and there's a box [TS]

  over in the corner and you're supposed [TS]

  to figure out what will the monkey go [TS]

  for the tea tour will grab the rug [TS]

  alright its basic social sciences like [TS]

  applicator right the the wire money [TS]

  what the metal wire mom with the nipple [TS]

  exactly exactly that terry cloth [TS]

  oh but you know I know you're trying to [TS]

  get to the point but i would love to [TS]

  talk about the apartments because the [TS]

  thing is the thing is they're going to [TS]

  be clinging right it'sit's sore again [TS]

  it's sort of like when I think about the [TS]

  greatest get papillon and papillon when [TS]

  he won't he won't say who gave him the [TS]

  coconut not going to turn over Dustin [TS]

  Hoffman and so they bring the shade they [TS]

  put the shade over and all he has is [TS]

  completely losing his mind eating [TS]

  roaches no spoilers but it's just a tiny [TS]

  little crack of of light coming through [TS]

  and it's like you do anything to have [TS]

  something you can depend on the first [TS]

  thing he does when he walks into cells [TS]

  egos like nine paces or something he [TS]

  counts off the number of paces from all [TS]

  the wall and so he has this one now I [TS]

  mean really there's something that stone [TS]

  walls and floor and then two buckets to [TS]

  come in and that's it that's all that's [TS]

  all his day is but think about Dick [TS]

  Cheney right thing what sometimes [TS]

  there's an ashtray somebody's not astray [TS]

  it's it's it's it's it's a great Plato's [TS]

  cave because what the reality that I [TS]

  would be able to show dick cheney like [TS]

  his windows in his apartment because [TS]

  even though it is in a mineshaft it will [TS]

  be there will be windows technologies [TS]

  there and there will end and outside the [TS]

  windows like the day will change right [TS]

  at the Sun will come up the sun will go [TS]

  down the right the right temperature of [TS]

  light and yes he's not gonna think he's [TS]

  in a mineshaft he's gonna think he's in [TS]

  a high-rise apartment in in a major [TS]

  metropolitan because the kids put him in [TS]

  a home and he's constantly trying the [TS]

  door like why what why can't I get out [TS]

  of this hotel room he's constantly [TS]

  calling room service you might be [TS]

  doubting himself right and there's a [TS]

  there's an obsequious guy that answers [TS]

  the phone every time he he's like unlock [TS]

  this door [TS]

  yes sir we'll send the man right up like [TS]

  for 15 more years however long he lives [TS]

  and then eventually one day it's [TS]

  unlocked he opens it and it's exactly [TS]

  the same apartment next door haha it [TS]

  goes it goes on and on and on i mean you [TS]

  know you because because you're able [TS]

  it's like D&D don't you want to plan out [TS]

  that entire the entire dungeon you have [TS]

  to plan you have to plan it gets an X [TS]

  paper i would love to plan that out you [TS]

  have to plan it in such a way that you [TS]

  can do things like change the dimensions [TS]

  of the room in a small way that he would [TS]

  register without I mean but it cannot [TS]

  get you eat that you can never give away [TS]

  the game [TS]

  ok but like something as simple as and [TS]

  again it is like software or making an [TS]

  automobile if you plan it out ahead of [TS]

  time it won't be costly to make changes [TS]

  we write you planned it all out so you [TS]

  can have some rails [TS]

  it's all I have something on rails and [TS]

  hydraulics like you've got a wall that's [TS]

  got a window and he can't quite see out [TS]

  of right now but while he's sleeping [TS]

  the wall is it which is on like sliding [TS]

  hydraulic rails the wall silently and [TS]

  undetectably raises six inches while [TS]

  he's sleeping [TS]

  if he wakes up the next day and the [TS]

  window is six inches higher up but [TS]

  here's the thing about all these guys [TS]

  like my list of you know my enemies list [TS]

  my Nixon's enemies list my tension list [TS]

  you know you got Jamie you got Limbaugh [TS]

  you got a glenn beck you got all the [TS]

  heroes on there yeah and and the list [TS]

  goes on it's much deeper course then [TS]

  these knees but what these three will do [TS]

  the thing about them is that they are [TS]

  done they will do in a pinch but they [TS]

  are very smart guys like smart that's [TS]

  the problem aware guys feel better [TS]

  got ya the thing is you can't move [TS]

  anything six inches because they're [TS]

  gonna be like wait a minute and then [TS]

  they're like then you then they know [TS]

  like they would have to be in there for [TS]

  a year before you did anything before [TS]

  you made any they would just have to get [TS]

  adjusted to the idea they were penned a [TS]

  year having everything be mind-numbingly [TS]

  identical yep yep which I am that you [TS]

  would introduce the psychedelics yet [TS]

  maybe watching television [TS]

  it would obviously be on a pre-recorded [TS]

  feed so you'd be QB curating the [TS]

  television that they had so that it [TS]

  looked like real television but it was [TS]

  just suddenly government was completely [TS]

  in your control [TS]

  always keeping it could be ninety-five [TS]

  percent like it could be like they [TS]

  watched dick Van Dyke right as they seem [TS]

  like there's five seasons and Dick Van [TS]

  Dyke Show all the dick Van Dyke's and [TS]

  then maybe when you show them again [TS]

  there there's like scenes that are cut [TS]

  out right or or maybe you know just for [TS]

  for a few seconds dick and Excise bulge [TS]

  you know mr. look just a little flash of [TS]

  cock [TS]

  they don't foresee not a flat [TS]

  aeronautics they're not they're not a [TS]

  hundred percent sure that they saw what [TS]

  they think they saw but like you're also [TS]

  you're also taking current news programs [TS]

  and just modifying them slightly so that [TS]

  they are so that their senior instructor [TS]

  in your area [TS]

  see I think this could be a little bit [TS]

  like a Marvel alternate universe and hit [TS]

  that is not everybody's watching the [TS]

  same shows this is the beauty part [TS]

  so when rush limbaugh and Henry [TS]

  Kissinger finally meet in the mess hall [TS]

  they're gonna have a completely [TS]

  different idea what's happening last [TS]

  five exactly exactly and this is the [TS]

  this is the great sort of trouble [TS]

  watchin jennifer aniston instead of the [TS]

  truman show aspect of it is now tell me [TS]

  who would not want to watch a 24-hour [TS]

  feed of Rush Limbaugh slowly going [TS]

  insane [TS]

  it's pretty popular right now right if I [TS]

  could just if I could just arrange this [TS]

  in such a way that yes yeah we're [TS]

  running it through a Russian server farm [TS]

  and it was on it you know seven proxies [TS]

  going it was it was through tor and not [TS]

  no one you know as Deep Web people but [TS]

  then you could subscribe to it with [TS]

  behind and it's it's not like Comcast [TS]

  it's totally unbundled yeah you can [TS]

  certainly get value packs like you could [TS]

  buy a season of sports you can buy all [TS]

  right wing commentators absolutely you [TS]

  could have a rod down there and see the [TS]

  steroids guy [TS]

  yeah you could hear ambitions are very [TS]

  broad John you have all your favorites [TS]

  will think what's amazing is when you [TS]

  think about abducting these guys in such [TS]

  a way that they wake up in a hotel [TS]

  strange hotel room and they're not aware [TS]

  of having been started started tagged [TS]

  and bagged and shipped to a Wyoming [TS]

  missile silo and installed in a hotel [TS]

  room that makes them think they're in [TS]

  Chicago [TS]

  oh it's a great it's a fun time i mean [TS]

  it is like a kind of super train [TS]

  rendition program em right i mean in [TS]

  some ways in some ways he is so you're [TS]

  going in there [TS]

  here's the other thing I I don't want to [TS]

  micromanage your project but obviously [TS]

  you're going to have the resources to be [TS]

  able to do this the way you would like [TS]

  to do [TS]

  are you we wouldn't want to do it right [TS]

  i mean that this is a vanity project and [TS]

  it has to be splendid [TS]

  yeah no question about like what if it [TS]

  was for example like a a cabin it likes [TS]

  a dick cheney has something evil cabin [TS]

  that you like to go to any man he wakes [TS]

  up he's on vacation mondays in the cabin [TS]

  Tuesday's in the cabin [TS]

  Wednesday's in the cabin Thursday he's [TS]

  in the cabin like he wakes up and it's [TS]

  an exact duplicate of his cabin right [TS]

  Oh what now the door doesn't work and [TS]

  take the deduction bolt sure it's the [TS]

  trout fishing cabin that he and Scalia [TS]

  who go up to in Idaho or whatever and [TS]

  see on the list total of Scalia has got [TS]

  a whole there's a whole dream I mean [TS]

  skill it will actually be giving [TS]

  lectures to a to a non-existent like [TS]

  class of law school students thought a [TS]

  regular he's going to have appointments [TS]

  committee is going to have appts the [TS]

  only time you gonna keep busy but but [TS]

  yeah right dick cheney's trout fishing [TS]

  cabin and he's just gonna be like the [TS]

  doors Jam he's going to look out the [TS]

  windows it's gonna be exactly the same [TS]

  for any her he won't be able to get out [TS]

  he'll try everything it i'm sure he has [TS]

  a drawer full of tools and they're [TS]

  practically duplicate it is fake diamond [TS]

  cap [TS]

  yeah yeah all the tools are there except [TS]

  they're all just a little bit like [TS]

  little broken or a little like oh why [TS]

  does this always gone through so many [TS]

  screwdrivers am left-handed scissors [TS]

  after two years after two years in the [TS]

  apartment [TS]

  thus it all the scissors become [TS]

  left-handed so let's think about this [TS]

  like tonight i was making I was making a [TS]

  sodastream altered my house and I knew I [TS]

  had just drank drunk I just I just had a [TS]

  bottle of soda stream I knew there was [TS]

  an empty soda stream and there had to be [TS]

  a cap there's always a cap and for the [TS]

  life of me I could not find a cap i [TS]

  could find another cap but that wasn't [TS]

  the point the point was I felt like I [TS]

  was losing my goddamn mind because [TS]

  somewhere in this area that i have been [TS]

  drinking this there should be a cap and [TS]

  you know I really did feel like I was [TS]

  losing my mind now imagine if somebody [TS]

  had to live with years and years and [TS]

  years of that as their my memory has [TS]

  already been declining as the cognition [TS]

  is also been getting a little skewed as [TS]

  the politics that increasingly right [TS]

  wing is going to you don't have to have [TS]

  at me missing soda cast before they're [TS]

  going to really start thinking about [TS]

  their life combined with gradually [TS]

  increasing doses of LSD and their [TS]

  drinking water occasionally occasionally [TS]

  some methamphetamine an occasional [TS]

  Argentine or something that they give [TS]

  you enough to screw up it's like that [TS]

  you know they're going to torture you [TS]

  and understand the torture obviously [TS]

  we're not talking about torture this is [TS]

  you know and tradition and and so but [TS]

  the things you want to keep slapping [TS]

  awake right you get some coffee wake up [TS]

  if we're gonna hit you want to be awake [TS]

  for this [TS]

  you give them just enough to be a little [TS]

  bit confused all the time and [TS]

  occasionally up it or they are the ants [TS]

  are you gonna give them like some hunter [TS]

  s thompson level like drinking glass [TS]

  full of psychedelics I mean occasionally [TS]

  it goes away occasionally it comes back [TS]

  in full force the community to have to [TS]

  just any kind of mix just gotta mix it [TS]

  up like one getting machi ready will you [TS]

  give some math other days you give him [TS]

  some kind of like you know barbiturates [TS]

  yep and some days it's it's just you [TS]

  know prepared is it the peyote in the [TS]

  end the day comes [TS]

  yeah and then and then occasionally [TS]

  there's a very very very low-grade [TS]

  electric shock that's happening except [TS]

  the door like throughout the house like [TS]

  I had a friend had a friend who used to [TS]

  work in the on the docks up in up in [TS]

  Kodiak in Alaska and he was down in the [TS]

  bilge of a ship in like waist-deep water [TS]

  like setting up a pump to to pump out [TS]

  this like build full of fish guts and [TS]

  and seawater and the boat connected with [TS]

  an overhead electrical wire like somehow [TS]

  the wire was draped across the boat and [TS]

  the boat moved in its mooring and [TS]

  connected with this wire and this friend [TS]

  of mine down in the Builder this boat [TS]

  was like hey hey guys something [TS]

  something's wrong [TS]

  he's getting shocked but it's just [TS]

  it's just mitigated enough by like being [TS]

  throughout this boat which is also [TS]

  sitting on the ocean that his friends [TS]

  standing on the doctor like what what's [TS]

  the matter he's like I don't know [TS]

  something bad [TS]

  get me out of here and they're like [TS]

  what's the matter saying again get here [TS]

  you know and he spent piece he spent a [TS]

  couple of minutes [TS]

  waist-deep in fish guts and seawater [TS]

  being kind of electrocuted and probably [TS]

  probably felt like any like an extreme [TS]

  version of like the shivers [TS]

  yeah I like pins you-know-who oh yeah [TS]

  but he couldn't quite describe it or [TS]

  couldn't quite tell what it was but it [TS]

  was having it was kind of affecting his [TS]

  nervously maddening [TS]

  yeah where he's just like hey you guys [TS]

  help me get me out of here and there [TS]

  like uh ok and you know and as soon as [TS]

  somebody else touches the boat from the [TS]

  doc they're like oh bad you know but now [TS]

  they really now they're like oh shit we [TS]

  gotta get him out of there i got to pull [TS]

  it on that one [TS]

  yeah they finally hoisted him out of the [TS]

  hole that he was fine but it was like [TS]

  one of those kind of you get this sense [TS]

  of electricity of like well it's either [TS]

  year it's either you're not being [TS]

  electrocuted or you are being you're [TS]

  being killed you apply that tactically [TS]

  to potentially almost everything in the [TS]

  room [TS]

  sure everything in the place would have [TS]

  you know there would be a therapy a [TS]

  screen like a metal screen it will be [TS]

  like the opposite of a Faraday cage [TS]

  yeah exactly it would so you'd be you'd [TS]

  wake up in the morning to be walking [TS]

  around the house and just be like oh I [TS]

  feel weird not seeing you know that you [TS]

  could if you were like a really evil [TS]

  mangala type you could like give someone [TS]

  anthrax like that's not cool but what if [TS]

  you gave somebody something where they [TS]

  always felt like they were just getting [TS]

  a cold [TS]

  it's like five years when that sock I [TS]

  think it's pretty clear by this [TS]

  description that I am a kind of mangala [TS]

  type how you just want to sleep at night [TS]

  this isn't this is not bad [TS]

  yeah this is just fun times and and [TS]

  really you know and and that list [TS]

  expands and contracts sometimes I feel [TS]

  like budgetary constraints are disallow [TS]

  me from having a tea full apart [TS]

  the strength living walls in the [TS]

  opposite of Varitek it and and complete [TS]

  control over every environmental aspect [TS]

  and also given TV but the people inside [TS]

  can look out the windows and feel like [TS]

  they're in the world i sometimes [TS]

  budgetary constraints restrict my guest [TS]

  list and I don't fully have like 80 guys [TS]

  in there sometimes it's a smaller group [TS]

  but it really is you know an end and [TS]

  some guys come on guys go up I mean [TS]

  Donald Trump has a permanent space but [TS]

  like I'm not really invested in a rod I [TS]

  don't care about him I don't wanna I'm [TS]

  not i would have nothing to say to him [TS]

  what would you want with your opinion [TS]

  would you be open to moving this beyond [TS]

  your very well found a personal grudges [TS]

  to something where you might want to do [TS]

  this on a for-hire basis [TS]

  no here's what I'm saying no no I'm not [TS]

  just saying you know you don't want to [TS]

  become a kind of cabin hitman but I'm [TS]

  saying if if somebody came to you and [TS]

  they made they said they came and they [TS]

  said Don Corleone on this the day of [TS]

  your daughter's wedding [TS]

  I want you to fuck with my ex-husband [TS]

  for five years no I feel like this is I [TS]

  feel like this project is a is reserved [TS]

  for people with geopolitical [TS]

  significance or at least American level [TS]

  of American popular significantly lower [TS]

  from college who wouldn't want it [TS]

  no no I'm not interested in him but all [TS]

  time sneaking into the army the schola [TS]

  pen i think i could find a place for him [TS]

  but is that ok is the French right-wing [TS]

  that kind of there's a cabin Nazi [TS]

  agitator you know there's like every [TS]

  country has got one guy who I mean like [TS]

  Putin is obviously a bad guy but [TS]

  personally there's something so smug [TS]

  about Putin and so like he's such an ear [TS]

  to get pretty mundane villain he's not [TS]

  like I need o-level cool villain [TS]

  yeah he's he is a Bond villain he is the [TS]

  from look at George Lazenby movie like [TS]

  he's like a real bond he's an [TS]

  old-fashioned Bond villain who's like [TS]

  mr. bombs expected to die I want 1 [TS]

  million dollars so i don't care about [TS]

  Putin that they're broken plenty people [TS]

  that are going to tell me like Putin is [TS]

  bad [TS]

  around fucking cabin dungeon exactly the [TS]

  dictator of kazakh stan is a really bad [TS]

  guy and Anna that's your problem is you [TS]

  keep pulling level that would have a [TS]

  little bit of fight that's the nice [TS]

  thing about Scalia this is exactly what [TS]

  I mean if you if you just put your hand [TS]

  in the water and pulling on the fish [TS]

  that's not really fishing you want a [TS]

  little bit of a fight to get that Marlon [TS]

  the boat because they be on the phone [TS]

  with the desk clerk trying to negotiate [TS]

  a Samana it's just gonna stand right up [TS]

  this complete because this is the thing [TS]

  every time they picked up the phone [TS]

  the guy would answer since the one that [TS]

  could be like you been saying this for [TS]

  two years somebody I'll be right there [TS]

  like that one day someone comes up with [TS]

  something they asked for two years ago [TS]

  all right exactly every once in a while [TS]

  like they wake up and they wake up in [TS]

  the morning this is the wonderful thing [TS]

  about drugs they wake up in the morning [TS]

  and there's a there's like a while they [TS]

  would have to be fed right so every they [TS]

  would try and so they would try not go [TS]

  to sleep but you would be in charge of [TS]

  when they went to sleep or not you give [TS]

  us a prisoner gasps and so they go to [TS]

  sleep they wake up there like how I was [TS]

  trying to stay awake and thinking on the [TS]

  prisoner on the prison when they just [TS]

  scored a bunch of gas out of all the [TS]

  everyone on the island or whatever and [TS]

  poof he's asleep he wakes up and there's [TS]

  a there's a room-service cards with like [TS]

  you know a very nice selection of foods [TS]

  and he's like fuck and so he's it's like [TS]

  with Santa Claus you think I'm gonna [TS]

  stay up i'm goin to see Santa Claus this [TS]

  year I'm going to stay up all night I'm [TS]

  gonna see Santa Claus and he would stay [TS]

  up as long as he could he would [TS]

  eventually go to sleep [TS]

  the room service cart we go away and a [TS]

  new one would come back i think that you [TS]

  can work on their memoirs I man there's [TS]

  just you know here's the thing John once [TS]

  once you make your supertrain fortune [TS]

  idea i think having a revenue stream [TS]

  associated with this would be nice i [TS]

  think a better thing would be to become [TS]

  dictator such a strong word to to become [TS]

  a thought leader is literally leading [TS]

  with your thoughts getting to where you [TS]

  could have a super train style system [TS]

  and I think a lot of this stuff is going [TS]

  to start falling in place you have a lot [TS]

  of people on your side a lot of people [TS]

  who are there's gonna be a lot of people [TS]

  who are gonna help you get to these [TS]

  people are not going to ask a lot of [TS]

  questions you need those people you [TS]

  can't just go to statistically up is [TS]

  getting too [TS]

  my cabin oh no absolutely we need an [TS]

  entire Special Forces don't want a bag [TS]

  I mean you want to be something like [TS]

  where they think they're going to go [TS]

  into the cabin to write their memoirs [TS]

  and then they wake up and there's a [TS]

  loose in genetics and food [TS]

  yeah they've been gassed and then like [TS]

  retired SEAL Team six members working [TS]

  both for higher but also because they [TS]

  have a vested interest in making things [TS]

  right are working for you as a kind of a [TS]

  rendition team [TS]

  I mean I understand Elon Musk wanting to [TS]

  build a spaceship that looks like a [TS]

  bumble bee hive I understand that the [TS]

  kid from facebook wants to live it [TS]

  presumably in a 10,000 square foot Palo [TS]

  Alto house that just has a prince of [TS]

  white Lamborghinis like leaning against [TS]

  the wall ghostliness and balloons over [TS]

  Africa to give people internet right [TS]

  google Africa internet balloon project i [TS]

  understand these rich people uh who are [TS]

  young and and don't have any real sense [TS]

  of what the world needs like spending [TS]

  their money in these in these dumbass [TS]

  ways but where where is the ruthlessness [TS]

  where is the sense of retributive [TS]

  justice like these people with all the [TS]

  resources in the world [TS]

  any one of them could fund a bunker [TS]

  based gas light stretching it only takes [TS]

  a couple and yet as well as the [TS]

  grounding air is a rounding error for [TS]

  Jeff basis that's right that's exactly [TS]

  right about 80 million dollars we could [TS]

  get started you you need you and it not [TS]

  an angel investor is a devil investor [TS]

  you need someone to just kind of get [TS]

  things started [TS]

  yeah that's and friends around now and [TS]

  once this is up and running and once [TS]

  everybody is logged onto it and and you [TS]

  know Bitcoin there but feeds here you [TS]

  know talk about like if you are if you [TS]

  believe the Texas argument that the [TS]

  death penalty is it dissidence sent [TS]

  advises crime [TS]

  what is going to do you incentivize [TS]

  becoming like a Kissinger like warmonger [TS]

  then if you're gonna be if you're [TS]

  thinking about becoming a shitty [TS]

  reactionary drop some Bitcoin that's [TS]

  right and watch a little bit of Scalia [TS]

  write his memoirs really stripping [TS]

  that's right straight fast [TS]

  yeah watch donald rumsfeld try and [TS]

  figure out what's different about his [TS]

  apartment this morning it that that it's [TS]

  too many can't do the couch move like [TS]

  sit and watch that for a few hours and [TS]

  then decide that you're going to be the [TS]

  Secretary of Defense one more time with [TS]

  someone that's why is my belt so small [TS]