Roderick on the Line

Ep. 77: "The Derivation of Donk"


00:00:00   the invasion of the continent was at [TS]

00:00:01   hand [TS]

00:00:07   hello hey John [TS]

00:00:10   hi Merlin is going good move [TS]

00:00:15   you sit down it's like love is happened [TS]

00:00:19   like you're on a wireless set i do i [TS]

00:00:21   yeah or like a faraway small phone [TS]

00:00:26   how is like quiet you know might be the [TS]

00:00:30   outcome honking volumes down time your [TS]

00:00:34   volumes up and i will hopefully be here [TS]

00:00:38   that's much better you sound much closer [TS]

00:00:40   now that my volumes are out but it's [TS]

00:00:41   probably because I'm speaking like the [TS]

00:00:44   that's a that's a weird thing about the [TS]

00:00:48   ship was written ready for her closeness [TS]

00:00:52   and loudness never get into Roger wicker [TS]

00:00:54   with your kit [TS]

00:00:55   not when I was a kid because my mom [TS]

00:00:57   hated country music I know he insult [TS]

00:01:00   women were they were there post the side [TS]

00:01:03   door entries in my house side door entry [TS]

00:01:06   well yeah you know us women a lot of [TS]

00:01:07   people don't realize you know from the [TS]

00:01:09   TV is like Roger Whittaker right using [TS]

00:01:11   he's an accomplished yodeler [TS]

00:01:13   yeah it'll ask and and you know you're [TS]

00:01:16   less that French painter and yeah yeah [TS]

00:01:21   that's a yeah your least shock jock you [TS]

00:01:24   release the guys get the rectangles [TS]

00:01:26   right i mean we start over i'm yeah you [TS]

00:01:30   know the 100-acre song always got a [TS]

00:01:33   college or installing your warm huh [TS]

00:01:35   right there were choices yeah at my [TS]

00:01:37   house the sign said hippies use the side [TS]

00:01:39   door and then the side door was boarded [TS]

00:01:42   up into country music my mom hated John [TS]

00:01:47   Denver native country music so [TS]

00:01:50   thoroughly that she hated John Denver [TS]

00:01:51   all through the seventies which made me [TS]

00:01:54   kind of a pariah with the with the girl [TS]

00:01:58   the proto fleet foxes fans 1975-76 and [TS]

00:02:03   remember i just liked him for probably [TS]

00:02:05   unconventional reasons because I mean in [TS]

00:02:07   an ideal world your mom would [TS]

00:02:09   potentially be in the top three to five [TS]

00:02:11   tiers [TS]

00:02:12   the John Denver target audience well [TS]

00:02:14   except that this is the for this is the [TS]

00:02:16   curious thing my mom is from north [TS]

00:02:17   western Ohio and in my extensive [TS]

00:02:22   investigations of america i have come to [TS]

00:02:24   realize that the South what we work we [TS]

00:02:27   refer to as the South the southern [TS]

00:02:29   states of the Confederacy em really [TS]

00:02:33   technically the Confederacy reaches its [TS]

00:02:36   northern point in central Ohio [TS]

00:02:40   oh brother don't i know it and you know [TS]

00:02:42   Ohio went with the Union but in every [TS]

00:02:45   other respect southern Ohio is part of [TS]

00:02:49   the American salad was probably was [TS]

00:02:51   probably for tax reasons as you know I'm [TS]

00:02:52   from Cincinnati and it is it's it's [TS]

00:02:55   pretty much exactly what it sounds like [TS]

00:02:56   which is exactly between indiana and [TS]

00:02:58   kentucky Cincinnatus since that is the [TS]

00:03:01   great the great Roman yodeler [TS]

00:03:02   yeah yeah Cincinnatus scheisse so you [TS]

00:03:06   think that was her rejecting her her was [TS]

00:03:08   faster the better doctors [TS]

00:03:09   well not her rural past I think that I [TS]

00:03:12   think that it particularly if you read [TS]

00:03:14   the book the great book the great [TS]

00:03:17   american history book albion's seed [TS]

00:03:19   which talks about the good for great [TS]

00:03:23   migrations of people from England [TS]

00:03:25   England or rather the united kingdom [TS]

00:03:28   because you've told me before John [TS]

00:03:30   decreases a problem of Scots persons vs [TS]

00:03:33   English persons that's what up [TS]

00:03:35   yeah the water got in the states right [TS]

00:03:36   Scott's persons vs English persons but [TS]

00:03:38   also Puritans and Quakers being mistaken [TS]

00:03:43   for one another and my mother my [TS]

00:03:46   mother's people we have determined to my [TS]

00:03:48   mom and I have spent many hours [TS]

00:03:49   discussing this we have determined that [TS]

00:03:51   they were in fact Quaker people who [TS]

00:03:55   moved west in a very thick because [TS]

00:03:57   because as you know if the south is all [TS]

00:03:59   the way up through Central Ohio in [TS]

00:04:01   everywhere in every way spiritually and [TS]

00:04:03   emotionally packed away in every meeting [TS]

00:04:06   the practical way to south ends in Lima [TS]

00:04:09   Ohio that means that the that the North [TS]

00:04:13   the northern states at that point are [TS]

00:04:15   squeezed into a very narrow band between [TS]

00:04:19   between northern Ohio and the lake right [TS]

00:04:23   i mean there's it's [TS]

00:04:25   there's there is no state of Ohio you're [TS]

00:04:27   saying there's there's there's a small [TS]

00:04:28   civic aperture in which that can fit in [TS]

00:04:31   exactly and then and then you know of [TS]

00:04:33   course the north then expands out in the [TS]

00:04:36   West and you know you could you could [TS]

00:04:38   argue that mr. eight Washington and [TS]

00:04:40   Oregon are our union council is really a [TS]

00:04:43   great Delta North flying delta exactly [TS]

00:04:45   but so so I think right up close to the [TS]

00:04:49   lake in ohio those were Puritans you [TS]

00:04:54   know the the rather the the the progeny [TS]

00:04:58   of Puritans and then there was this [TS]

00:05:01   little snare Oh band of of Quakers that [TS]

00:05:04   moved through central northern Ohio and [TS]

00:05:07   then it was all scots-irish it's got [TS]

00:05:10   some scots-irish all the way down until [TS]

00:05:13   you hit the French down in the in the [TS]

00:05:15   all the way down [TS]

00:05:16   god i wish they'd hit the French in the [TS]

00:05:17   in the sewers of america but at any case [TS]

00:05:20   my mother's prejudice against country [TS]

00:05:22   music comes from comes from a very old [TS]

00:05:26   Ohio prejudice against Southern [TS]

00:05:31   Hillbillies which they regarded you know [TS]

00:05:33   Appalachian people which they regarded [TS]

00:05:36   even within the state of Ohio as being a [TS]

00:05:38   subclass I get it of whites it's almost [TS]

00:05:42   like casts in india right there is [TS]

00:05:46   somebody or indie rock or star trek you [TS]

00:05:49   can always look down on somebody nicely [TS]

00:05:51   it precisely so when people started in [TS]

00:05:53   the in the forties and fifties when you [TS]

00:05:55   when yodeling music became popular on [TS]

00:05:57   the radio in the in the in the person [TS]

00:06:00   who jump Hank Williams senior my mom was [TS]

00:06:04   it instantly rejected it because it [TS]

00:06:06   seemed to her to be it was white trash [TS]

00:06:08   music basically she wouldn't if anything [TS]

00:06:10   you want to distance yourself from that [TS]

00:06:12   yeah and that's interesting and that [TS]

00:06:14   prejudice against honky-tonk sounding [TS]

00:06:18   fiddle playing music which she knew from [TS]

00:06:21   her young childhood as being the music [TS]

00:06:24   of itinerant [TS]

00:06:26   uh you know white farm laborers and [TS]

00:06:30   people who live down around in [TS]

00:06:32   Cincinnati let alone guilty further sell [TS]

00:06:36   down there around Kentucky border where [TS]

00:06:39   all goes to hell anyway I must also be [TS]

00:06:42   like the soundtrack for want in her mind [TS]

00:06:44   like it's gotta be you know what I meet [TS]

00:06:46   you don't listen to that to the [TS]

00:06:47   yogurtland break because it reminds you [TS]

00:06:50   being out of corn that's exactly right [TS]

00:06:52   it's like it says I got all big iron I [TS]

00:06:57   got all big on I love ya love ya [TS]

00:07:01   so everybody gets food but you my mom [TS]

00:07:05   was putting thumbs down on it I get it [TS]

00:07:08   all the way through the seventies and it [TS]

00:07:09   was not until she was forced to enjoy [TS]

00:07:14   indie rock because her son was a perv a [TS]

00:07:17   huge business niche that bad that even [TS]

00:07:21   even until 2003 if she saw if she saw a [TS]

00:07:26   telecaster immediately was like you know [TS]

00:07:30   the needle scratching across the record [TS]

00:07:32   and own home in 2003 when when when the [TS]

00:07:37   long winter started you know when the [TS]

00:07:39   long winters had Peter Buck play [TS]

00:07:40   mandolin on cinnamon did my mom like [TS]

00:07:44   concede that maybe you know maybe she [TS]

00:07:47   could she could give a listen to wilco [TS]

00:07:49   and it wasn't going to kill her [TS]

00:07:50   so country music no Roger long and the [TS]

00:07:54   short of it [TS]

00:07:55   no lock Roger Whittaker in my life until [TS]

00:07:57   Jesse Sykes hi aunt and the sweet [TS]

00:08:01   hereafter Jesse Sykes would have me over [TS]

00:08:03   to her apartment sometimes and play [TS]

00:08:05   Roger Whittaker records for me that was [TS]

00:08:07   excuse because they were a big influence [TS]

00:08:09   on her head out service and then she [TS]

00:08:12   would you know she would come out who [TS]

00:08:14   would come out of the back bedroom [TS]

00:08:15   withholding Roger Whittaker record and [TS]

00:08:16   nothing else and and i would say well [TS]

00:08:22   let's put it on what that sounds like [TS]

00:08:24   and that's when I learned like it just [TS]

00:08:27   as sexy buck owens all all suede [TS]

00:08:31   unplayable Bakersfield and I don't [TS]

00:08:34   remember this short story class there's [TS]

00:08:35   a really hard time saying no good i just [TS]

00:08:38   heard screaming [TS]

00:08:39   I'd here there i was outside of my house [TS]

00:08:43   did you just hear screen but I have to [TS]

00:08:45   imagine that if you hear screaming your [TS]

00:08:46   neighborhood i'm just guessing you [TS]

00:08:48   figure somebody had to come in [TS]

00:08:49   well I do but that will you will you [TS]

00:08:51   will you play a little hole music for [TS]

00:08:52   just a second and look at the 1i just [TS]

00:08:55   like [TS]

00:08:57   [Music] [TS]

00:09:06   hey [TS]

00:09:10   it seems that it seems alright seems [TS]

00:09:17   like that the street is clear and ok [TS]

00:09:20   company [TS]

00:09:21   no gunfire to follow up there's nobody [TS]

00:09:22   screaming still so I feel like the [TS]

00:09:24   neighborhood's results [TS]

00:09:27   [Music] [TS]

00:09:31   okay here's the thing you may remember [TS]

00:09:39   from a short story class Alice Walker [TS]

00:09:41   short story everyday use and it's a [TS]

00:09:44   story about a like basically you know I [TS]

00:09:48   afro wearing forward-thinking in [TS]

00:09:50   afro-american young woman who comes home [TS]

00:09:53   from college and once her grandmother's [TS]

00:09:55   quilt and as basically a afro as you say [TS]

00:09:59   then basically you know an [TS]

00:10:01   african-american artifact right and [TS]

00:10:03   they're like now we still use this and [TS]

00:10:04   she says that the rest of the story [TS]

00:10:06   entitled it is too good for everyday use [TS]

00:10:08   right right it becomes that i have one [TS]

00:10:10   of those here at my house of a quote [TS]

00:10:12   that my great-grandmother almost [TS]

00:10:13   everything in your house is too good for [TS]

00:10:14   every day yes it's true that's really [TS]

00:10:16   what really i just on my way home I i [TS]

00:10:20   spent speaking of a prose I saw a young [TS]

00:10:23   man in his mid twenties wearing a [TS]

00:10:25   full-on kid and play here tower is [TS]

00:10:30   called fade if the butt but all fade [TS]

00:10:33   like hi hoti hai fade-in he's in his mid [TS]

00:10:36   twenties so it's see it so he's doing [TS]

00:10:38   this as a retro gesture and he was [TS]

00:10:40   driving a convertible red Jaguar and I I [TS]

00:10:45   felt like pulling over getting out of my [TS]

00:10:47   car and applauding as he drove by [TS]

00:10:51   because I just felt like yes thank you [TS]

00:10:53   thank you [TS]

00:10:55   you know you should be allowed to give [TS]

00:10:56   out citations to people not in the bad [TS]

00:10:58   way you should be able to give sight [TS]

00:10:59   people citations for winning the day you [TS]

00:11:01   should be able to go to him and give him [TS]

00:11:02   a handsome certificate sister you just [TS]

00:11:04   won the day [TS]

00:11:05   well and this is that this is why i feel [TS]

00:11:07   Maryland that technology has not it [TS]

00:11:09   despite all of our handheld the gizmo [TS]

00:11:11   soon [TS]

00:11:12   technology has not caught up to what we [TS]

00:11:15   imagined it would be because it [TS]

00:11:17   routinely and I'm talking about 10 times [TS]

00:11:20   a day [TS]

00:11:20   I'm driving and I would like to send a [TS]

00:11:22   message to the driver in front of the [TS]

00:11:26   driver beside me or the driver behind me [TS]

00:11:28   and it's a it's i would just like to [TS]

00:11:30   send them a personal message that would [TS]

00:11:32   show up on their dashboard for for for a [TS]

00:11:36   minute [TS]

00:11:37   you know like 44 justjust for 30 seconds [TS]

00:11:39   i would like to be able to and I think [TS]

00:11:41   every driver should have this ability to [TS]

00:11:43   be able to send a message to the dr [TS]

00:11:45   in front of them next to them or behind [TS]

00:11:46   them and sometimes I sometimes that [TS]

00:11:48   message is a citation in the form of you [TS]

00:11:51   are doing an excellent job driving and I [TS]

00:11:54   am having a very good time following you [TS]

00:11:57   because you are you are navigating [TS]

00:12:00   through traffic in a way that I admire [TS]

00:12:01   and I am I am keeping pace with you just [TS]

00:12:04   so that i can admire you and it's an [TS]

00:12:05   honor to not need to tailgate you [TS]

00:12:07   exactly yes i would just I i would like [TS]

00:12:10   to i would just like to commend you and [TS]

00:12:12   I know that it's a certain point you are [TS]

00:12:13   going to take an exit or you're gonna go [TS]

00:12:15   in a different direction and I would [TS]

00:12:16   just like to leave you with a gold star [TS]

00:12:18   and I feel like there should i should [TS]

00:12:20   have the ability to put type your [TS]

00:12:22   license plate into into my device and [TS]

00:12:26   say send send message to X license plate [TS]

00:12:29   nicely done gold star now what you only [TS]

00:12:31   sent kind messages John no absolutely [TS]

00:12:33   not i would also say that i would say i [TS]

00:12:36   would send messages like lower your [TS]

00:12:38   brights and if you if if it is not a [TS]

00:12:42   case where your brights are on but that [TS]

00:12:44   you have halogen lights in your car and [TS]

00:12:48   they are and they're in accurately aimed [TS]

00:12:50   you need to go to a service station and [TS]

00:12:52   have the man aim them properly [TS]

00:12:54   yes and if it is the technology's there [TS]

00:12:56   John if it is not a case of improperly [TS]

00:12:58   aim telligence but just that you have [TS]

00:13:00   made a modification to your car and put [TS]

00:13:02   illegally bright lights in your car i [TS]

00:13:05   would like you to take the car to a [TS]

00:13:06   crusher i would like you to remain in [TS]

00:13:09   the car while the car is crushed but for [TS]

00:13:12   this system to work [TS]

00:13:13   yes a there has to be a way for you to [TS]

00:13:15   send this to someone approximate driver [TS]

00:13:18   um I think I think I think be there has [TS]

00:13:21   to be some way for them to have to read [TS]

00:13:24   it like maybe they only the car will [TS]

00:13:26   only run maybe get only so many days of [TS]

00:13:28   what a day maybe there's some some kind [TS]

00:13:29   of economics to it you'd like to add a [TS]

00:13:31   right exactly so everybody gets to a day [TS]

00:13:34   you don't get a nuisance you have to [TS]

00:13:36   reserve them you can't just be driving [TS]

00:13:38   on their own saying fuck you fuck you [TS]

00:13:39   fuck you but you have not responded [TS]

00:13:41   appropriately within 15 seconds the car [TS]

00:13:44   literally blows up yeah right [TS]

00:13:45   all four wheels goes along with the [TS]

00:13:47   other tires blow out but all the time [TS]

00:13:49   you want to say like stop looking at [TS]

00:13:51   your phone it is impairing your driving [TS]

00:13:54   stop stop driving 50 miles an hour in [TS]

00:13:57   the fast lane you are causing a traffic [TS]

00:13:59   jam you want to be able to send these [TS]

00:14:01   simple messages you can just have a [TS]

00:14:03   little could be like a terminator screen [TS]

00:14:05   where it's just like dude fuck you [TS]

00:14:07   asshole you get the common heads-up [TS]

00:14:09   heads-up display [TS]

00:14:10   yeah that's right and you're just appear [TS]

00:14:12   on their you add think I think this two [TS]

00:14:14   or three a day and advanced driver [TS]

00:14:16   should maybe get 45 ok i would like to [TS]

00:14:19   come back to the idea of what I'm going [TS]

00:14:21   to call skipping and generation if we [TS]

00:14:22   have time later I want to circle back to [TS]

00:14:23   that but here's what I'll tell you about [TS]

00:14:24   that i think i think it's fucking [TS]

00:14:26   sickening that you can go out and just [TS]

00:14:28   because the dim sum place that's been [TS]

00:14:29   open for a week accidentally had one bad [TS]

00:14:32   night and you and your friends from San [TS]

00:14:33   Francisco State University collapse on [TS]

00:14:35   that place on yelp and you can put it [TS]

00:14:36   out of business literally within three [TS]

00:14:38   business days right I think it's sick [TS]

00:14:40   it's fucking sickening to me that you [TS]

00:14:41   can do that but you can't take a truly [TS]

00:14:43   dangerous 80 year old woman driving 50 [TS]

00:14:45   miles an hour off the road [TS]

00:14:46   yes don't you think I mean isn't it [TS]

00:14:47   seemed bizarre that you could have some [TS]

00:14:49   some kind of Wolfie on yelp but you [TS]

00:14:53   don't have a way to have like force [TS]

00:14:54   large letters on the heads-up display [TS]

00:14:56   for the person in front of you while [TS]

00:14:57   you're here is what we're talking about [TS]

00:14:58   if you could yelp somebody's driver's [TS]

00:15:00   license plate [TS]

00:15:01   yeah and sent and those yelp reviews [TS]

00:15:03   would go and be reviewed at the [TS]

00:15:04   Department of Motor Vehicles [TS]

00:15:05   periodically and have you know i think [TS]

00:15:08   for public beautiful have you gotten at [TS]

00:15:10   the end of my guys he's got plenty on [TS]

00:15:12   your plate you should be part of the [TS]

00:15:13   public tribunal that is that is trying [TS]

00:15:15   people hook based on their own [TS]

00:15:17   automotive yelp reviews now here's the [TS]

00:15:19   thing you know what I don't need I don't [TS]

00:15:20   need of to send things google maps will [TS]

00:15:22   not let you send things to a car [TS]

00:15:24   I don't need that and that's that's like [TS]

00:15:27   the opposite of what I need [TS]

00:15:28   that's right what I needed to say you [TS]

00:15:30   know what they got all the other get [TS]

00:15:31   started on the NSA thing right it's been [TS]

00:15:32   a while since we chatted a lot a lot [TS]

00:15:34   happened i've seen a lot of world war [TS]

00:15:35   two movies it's true but we don't have [TS]

00:15:37   to catch up on you know a lot of [TS]

00:15:38   concerned citizens have been kept [TS]

00:15:40   contacting me offline [TS]

00:15:41   how's that a man a concerned citizen yes [TS]

00:15:44   yes took me aside in real life who and [TS]

00:15:48   pulled up on his phone [TS]

00:15:49   the last half a dozen episodes of rock [TS]

00:15:53   on the line podcast em I said would you [TS]

00:15:56   like to see the dates from the last 60 [TS]

00:15:59   gosh line podcasts I and I said no not [TS]

00:16:02   really and he said well let me show them [TS]

00:16:04   to you anyway and and then he he [TS]

00:16:07   proceeded to publicly [TS]

00:16:08   shame me it's a timeliness issue well [TS]

00:16:10   here he's saying he's he said he [TS]

00:16:13   actually said do you want to see the [TS]

00:16:16   next you want to see the last six [TS]

00:16:17   episodes of the marc maron podcast and i [TS]

00:16:19   said i would say no I said I have no [TS]

00:16:21   interest at all it's absolutely nothing [TS]

00:16:22   he said well let me just let me just in [TS]

00:16:25   shorthand clear this up for you that you [TS]

00:16:27   in the last two months he has made a lot [TS]

00:16:30   more podcasts than you and Merlin have [TS]

00:16:32   and I was like my goodness [TS]

00:16:34   message received oh my goodness [TS]

00:16:37   Community College my gosh where do you [TS]

00:16:40   want to begin [TS]

00:16:41   wow well thank you yeah butBut about why [TS]

00:16:44   I feel like we've gotten into it right [TS]

00:16:46   away here [TS]

00:16:47   yeah and that would have got that out of [TS]

00:16:48   the way John and I I feel getting an apt [TS]

00:16:50   to keep track of my interventions at [TS]

00:16:51   this point so I'm just glad I don't have [TS]

00:16:53   to deal with that right now we are but [TS]

00:16:55   we already have we already have [TS]

00:16:56   established in this podcast already it's [TS]

00:16:58   just a few minutes in asset that we need [TS]

00:17:00   some kind of system like maybe from that [TS]

00:17:03   swedish movie where the punk rock girl a [TS]

00:17:06   was tracking as some kind of serial [TS]

00:17:08   killer [TS]

00:17:09   I love the girl with the regret [TS]

00:17:10   interface yeah they're go through [TS]

00:17:12   thursday the girls stopped on the horse [TS]

00:17:14   face the girl with the the shasun in the [TS]

00:17:16   yes says the shootin sitter is different [TS]

00:17:19   versions of that John let's remember in [TS]

00:17:21   yeah but anyway what she did at one [TS]

00:17:24   point she tied up her attacker and she [TS]

00:17:26   tattooed a rapist on his somewhere on [TS]

00:17:30   him that a pictogram somewhere and oh i [TS]

00:17:32   know i think it was to the actual words [TS]

00:17:34   written statement i sin but it was in [TS]

00:17:36   Swedish so he could just move to a [TS]

00:17:38   different country and they feel like oh [TS]

00:17:40   yeah that's my home stay away from the [TS]

00:17:43   six people to speak Swedish in your yeah [TS]

00:17:45   he moved to Spain and they'd be like hey [TS]

00:17:47   nice tattoo and be like yeah well I've [TS]

00:17:49   got a little bit of a radical kale [TS]

00:17:51   outsider outsider artist must've slipped [TS]

00:17:54   but in any case if we have the ability [TS]

00:17:57   based on yelp reviews of license plates [TS]

00:18:00   to have public tribunals where the [TS]

00:18:02   result was that we tattooed some some [TS]

00:18:04   form of like a bad driver bad person [TS]

00:18:09   yeah that person really john III don't [TS]

00:18:12   want to get into the wheel here but at [TS]

00:18:13   this point we need an intern because [TS]

00:18:14   you're onto like four or five different [TS]

00:18:16   thematic things that are becoming [TS]

00:18:17   extremely important to me and they keep [TS]

00:18:19   coming up again and again which makes me [TS]

00:18:21   think they're important [TS]

00:18:22   so yes first of all there should be a [TS]

00:18:23   way that your will can be imposed upon [TS]

00:18:24   strangers let's just let's just let's [TS]

00:18:26   just get that out of the way and we've [TS]

00:18:28   established that yeah that's it still [TS]

00:18:30   hitting for the stands ready on right [TS]

00:18:32   there should be a way to force force [TS]

00:18:34   people to hear what you have to say and [TS]

00:18:35   then respond appropriately and in a [TS]

00:18:38   timely manner in a timely manner right [TS]

00:18:40   you can't just let the heads-up things [TS]

00:18:41   sit there for a week and you'll steam [TS]

00:18:43   right [TS]

00:18:43   sure I like the idea the tribunal no [TS]

00:18:45   question about sometimes I think you've [TS]

00:18:47   been you've been a gentleman about it [TS]

00:18:49   and I know you're busy you got a lot on [TS]

00:18:50   your plate you might not have time to [TS]

00:18:51   lead that many tribunals maybe you could [TS]

00:18:53   manage other tribunal managers it seems [TS]

00:18:56   like if we get if we get a baseline of [TS]

00:18:58   rules who people are then operating [TS]

00:19:00   according to what you know what [TS]

00:19:02   constitutes a system if there are [TS]

00:19:04   questions [TS]

00:19:04   it's like any city court system you do [TS]

00:19:07   your best to become an existential [TS]

00:19:09   referee if there are questions you bump [TS]

00:19:11   it up to a higher court [TS]

00:19:12   I like it you're out you know what you [TS]

00:19:14   could just be available you could be up [TS]

00:19:16   there in your bathrobe you see matar up [TS]

00:19:17   in your up here Garrett and occasionally [TS]

00:19:20   people just you know I get high get a [TS]

00:19:22   lot of emails and tweets already of [TS]

00:19:23   people asking me questions into the cave [TS]

00:19:25   matter if it was a system where was I [TS]

00:19:27   mean you hear you remember you remember [TS]

00:19:30   the two kids that came up to me in [TS]

00:19:31   portland wanted me to to figure out [TS]

00:19:33   their relationship a situation and and [TS]

00:19:38   you know I I i spelled that out for him [TS]

00:19:41   don't judge john hodgman about three [TS]

00:19:43   minutes it does kind of sound like that [TS]

00:19:45   i want to try to want right here to [TS]

00:19:46   sting here's the thing that John Hodgman [TS]

00:19:47   will not do is tattoo people be against [TS]

00:19:49   their will [TS]

00:19:50   this and I believe this came up at least [TS]

00:19:51   once before I I don't start program that [TS]

00:19:53   often but i believe this came up in a [TS]

00:19:55   discussion of going through the line at [TS]

00:19:57   the airport where you should have to [TS]

00:19:59   prove we go through the clear Lane are [TS]

00:20:01   not things anymore but like there should [TS]

00:20:02   definitely be a way i think based on i [TS]

00:20:05   think i'm kinda member we left at one [TS]

00:20:07   place we left your idea i believe was to [TS]

00:20:08   either i think slay them [TS]

00:20:11   we'll give them a tattoo and I want a [TS]

00:20:12   way for them to be able to bring the [TS]

00:20:13   great up I wanted them to have a way of [TS]

00:20:15   saying basically a Yelp first I just a [TS]

00:20:17   fucking hate help i really want you to [TS]

00:20:19   stay here and set about to a bunch of [TS]

00:20:21   times that's really frustrating be at [TS]

00:20:23   the NSA is already like marking this [TS]

00:20:26   down in their yelp discussion [TS]

00:20:28   well I'm gonna come back to that too [TS]

00:20:29   because I'm not contrarian silly but i [TS]

00:20:32   will say that when we get access to [TS]

00:20:33   what's actually in that data [TS]

00:20:35   oh boy we're going to stuff that the [TS]

00:20:36   government has no idea that they can [TS]

00:20:38   even do you know sorry about you and I [TS]

00:20:40   could do with excel and that information [TS]

00:20:42   you know how many things we could fix [TS]

00:20:44   I'm time compiling a list of keywords [TS]

00:20:46   right now in my mind it would take like [TS]

00:20:48   an afternoon to just get rid of so many [TS]

00:20:51   problems in yeah well here's the problem [TS]

00:20:53   with force tattooing it has a bad [TS]

00:20:55   history in the 20th century [TS]

00:20:58   okay to be able to be a tribal scarring [TS]

00:21:01   ok alright ritual scarring [TS]

00:21:03   yeah yeah yeah maybe there's all kinds [TS]

00:21:05   of ways to fuck somebody up John if you [TS]

00:21:07   I used to go to parties and there was a [TS]

00:21:09   bit was during I used to go to parties [TS]

00:21:10   but but also i used to go to parties in [TS]

00:21:12   the nineties where it was popular to [TS]

00:21:14   stick a fork in the electric burner of [TS]

00:21:18   the stove at the party house and [TS]

00:21:19   everybody would you know and a certain [TS]

00:21:21   group of people would give themselves [TS]

00:21:22   like fork burns as a way of like being [TS]

00:21:27   modern primitives one trade paperback of [TS]

00:21:29   research magazine and so many lives [TS]

00:21:32   ruined [TS]

00:21:32   that's exactly right you know that's all [TS]

00:21:34   it takes to get down to the independent [TS]

00:21:35   bookstore you pick that up and then and [TS]

00:21:37   then pretty soon you like a cup holder [TS]

00:21:39   for kitchen gadgets yeah pretty pretty [TS]

00:21:41   soon you've gotta eat all you can do [TS]

00:21:43   anymore is look at vivisection [TS]

00:21:44   photographs because you've lost you [TS]

00:21:46   become desensitized kinky you can [TS]

00:21:49   masturbate to anything normal you can't [TS]

00:21:51   really even masturbate [TS]

00:21:52   yeah you just want you just want to go [TS]

00:21:54   to a slaughterhouse you got a principle [TS]

00:21:56   we got a prince philip of spain in there [TS]

00:21:57   you get your penis velcro to your lip I [TS]

00:21:59   Jesus John I think tattooing is a [TS]

00:22:02   wonderful way I mean already people very [TS]

00:22:06   thoughtfully are putting big tattoos of [TS]

00:22:08   like mexican prayer candle images of the [TS]

00:22:12   Virgin Mary right on the side of your [TS]

00:22:13   neck so that you don't you no longer [TS]

00:22:16   really have just to ask yourself in a [TS]

00:22:18   group of people like who are the [TS]

00:22:19   ding-a-lings in this group of people the [TS]

00:22:21   dealings herself herself brand [TS]

00:22:24   thing and they're saying rapid healing i [TS]

00:22:27   have i have a big Madonna on my neck if [TS]

00:22:30   you've got let's put it this way if you [TS]

00:22:32   have a notional room with a million [TS]

00:22:33   people in it and you have to quickly [TS]

00:22:34   decide which point zero one percent just [TS]

00:22:38   have bad judgment without having any [TS]

00:22:39   time to talk to anybody ask people to [TS]

00:22:42   remove everything from the top of their [TS]

00:22:44   head to the bottom of their neck and [TS]

00:22:46   about in about two minutes you're gonna [TS]

00:22:47   be you're gonna be good to go you can [TS]

00:22:48   have way more than points0 1% your [TS]

00:22:51   lawyer call for doing things right away [TS]

00:22:53   that's right and can give them give them [TS]

00:22:55   a special task [TS]

00:22:56   yeah you there with the st. Jude let's [TS]

00:22:57   move on and talk about hopeless [TS]

00:22:59   she's you guys would you guys take some [TS]

00:23:01   of the Zyklon B and go put it in that [TS]

00:23:03   bathtub for me okay i said i saw the [TS]

00:23:07   longest day [TS]

00:23:08   wait a minute did you just hit a bell [TS]

00:23:10   accidentally or was that like a muted [TS]

00:23:12   that I've never I've never hit the bell [TS]

00:23:14   more deliberately and I've never meeting [TS]

00:23:16   quickly called Carolina scheisse click [TS]

00:23:25   them so maybe not as well anyway i'm [TS]

00:23:31   doing a little shot of chew spit into me [TS]

00:23:35   like a like a like I have blazing [TS]

00:23:37   saddles sort of to the spits spittoon [TS]

00:23:40   across again but here haha ok I we've [TS]

00:23:47   got skipping generation we've got yelp i [TS]

00:23:50   got a lot to cover John but I mean you [TS]

00:23:52   know what you can I just say one thing [TS]

00:23:54   uh I don't want to get too nostalgic [TS]

00:23:55   about this program we used to do but it [TS]

00:23:58   really does warm my heart how often [TS]

00:24:00   first of all you know it's not it's not [TS]

00:24:02   annoying to be reminded that i haven't [TS]

00:24:03   done the show because let's let's just [TS]

00:24:05   let me just tell you i'm aware how long [TS]

00:24:06   it's been since we can't we're not doing [TS]

00:24:08   it to provoke you made it [TS]

00:24:09   oh you're talking to the listeners now [TS]

00:24:11   I'm sorry I'm this side I know it's [TS]

00:24:13   unseemly to speak to our audience down [TS]

00:24:16   like I get that I get the impression [TS]

00:24:18   that they periodically yes I think they [TS]

00:24:21   always did missed it missed you know it [TS]

00:24:23   is you know it is it's like your parents [TS]

00:24:24   or your order or your mate you miss them [TS]

00:24:27   so much until you see him again [TS]

00:24:28   yeah well your kids let's be honest and [TS]

00:24:30   you think boy I really missed you free [TS]

00:24:32   recently didn't is really weird [TS]

00:24:34   now we're back but I've been looking for [TS]

00:24:36   figuring out how to kill you with poison [TS]

00:24:38   and a few you made 15 subtle uh [TS]

00:24:41   Holocaust references and you insulted [TS]

00:24:43   probably me or my family might just be [TS]

00:24:46   the listeners up in there so many ways [TS]

00:24:50   in which i would like to see your will [TS]

00:24:52   impose on people i think people have [TS]

00:24:53   missed that skipping better i'm feeling [TS]

00:24:56   more willful lately you sound good you [TS]

00:24:58   sound like you're on top of your game me [TS]

00:25:00   I have more chili what's going on [TS]

00:25:01   well no I in fact i'm seriously can [TS]

00:25:05   contemplating now that i have not taken [TS]

00:25:07   any steps toward this in fact so anyway [TS]

00:25:11   I'm seriously can kind of contemplating [TS]

00:25:13   doing some kind of low carbohydrate diet [TS]

00:25:16   and as I've been thinking about it I've [TS]

00:25:18   been heating up more and more pasta just [TS]

00:25:20   to get it out of my cupboards and just [TS]

00:25:24   as I just as when i decided i was going [TS]

00:25:26   to quit drinking i went on a but I [TS]

00:25:28   started drinking rai at 40 have just [TS]

00:25:33   said you could have been there to help [TS]

00:25:34   you to really spirit spirit along [TS]

00:25:36   spirited away but so i'm contemplating [TS]

00:25:40   this low carbohydrate and i'm still [TS]

00:25:42   battling ants in my apartment ball John [TS]

00:25:44   um and and so they're really getting me [TS]

00:25:47   down I was gone for teaching reading the [TS]

00:25:48   sugar would help i have no idea what [TS]

00:25:50   these answer eating there is nothing in [TS]

00:25:52   my house I emptied it of food and I was [TS]

00:25:55   gone for two weeks I hermetically sealed [TS]

00:25:57   it and I came back and they were just [TS]

00:25:59   they were just having a party just doing [TS]

00:26:01   the things that they do you have a grand [TS]

00:26:02   grants and steaks if you tried those [TS]

00:26:04   they're very rewarding you have those [TS]

00:26:06   grants remember because it rhymes [TS]

00:26:09   what is it grants you get these little [TS]

00:26:11   things and it looks like you get this [TS]

00:26:12   little things like little silver thing [TS]

00:26:14   with a hole in it it's on a little [TS]

00:26:15   plastic spiky thing you can just stick [TS]

00:26:17   it into the ground outside we can just [TS]

00:26:18   lay it down inside and it does the job [TS]

00:26:20   it doesn't number as they say on ants [TS]

00:26:22   it's pretty good you put it wherever [TS]

00:26:24   they're likely to walk it's really [TS]

00:26:25   gratifying it's like we are we get mice [TS]

00:26:27   in our garage occasionally and i put [TS]

00:26:29   that way and what traps that I need to [TS]

00:26:30   just cuz I left find dead mice [TS]

00:26:32   haha I'm not gotten so good at and [TS]

00:26:34   there's so little and I've gotten really [TS]

00:26:35   really good at it and I like to think I [TS]

00:26:37   like leaving there for a couple three [TS]

00:26:38   days I don't know it actually helps as a [TS]

00:26:40   warning to the others [TS]

00:26:41   whistling square type situation sort of [TS]

00:26:43   like a webcam is getting it sends a [TS]

00:26:45   message [TS]

00:26:45   yeah but no okay so I want to talk about [TS]

00:26:48   the carbs too and i want to talk about [TS]

00:26:49   Alice Walker and Yelp I mean you know [TS]

00:26:52   how uninteresting talking about [TS]

00:26:54   carbohydrates is I must say one thing [TS]

00:26:56   about that John it makes a huge [TS]

00:26:57   difference [TS]

00:26:58   well and that's what you and you first [TS]

00:27:00   met me when I was that you didn't eat [TS]

00:27:01   nothing but bacon that wasn't long after [TS]

00:27:03   we met I remember I remember and I'm and [TS]

00:27:05   I'm looking forward to something making [TS]

00:27:07   a huge difference in my life [TS]

00:27:08   oh god me too i've been really crazy and [TS]

00:27:10   I'm really tired lately [TS]

00:27:11   yeah yeah that's exactly right tired old [TS]

00:27:14   a ineffectual Lance unwell unlovable [TS]

00:27:19   yeah marginalized you know I bought some [TS]

00:27:22   pink pains i'm wearing purple sneakers [TS]

00:27:25   yeah and I'm hoping that pink pants are [TS]

00:27:27   things that are going to give me they're [TS]

00:27:28   gonna give me a new lease on life [TS]

00:27:30   pink pants and then the halitosis that [TS]

00:27:32   comes from ketosis and that's going to [TS]

00:27:35   be the thing that doesn't get texts more [TS]

00:27:38   people to cut as I walked through the [TS]

00:27:40   town people are gonna be like that guy [TS]

00:27:42   with the bad breath in the pink pants as [TS]

00:27:44   a youthful glow [TS]

00:27:46   first of all are the pants comfortable [TS]

00:27:47   they do they fit you appropriately well [TS]

00:27:49   so this is the thing about the [TS]

00:27:50   drawstring no not drawstring milk [TS]

00:27:55   what do you think is happening to me not [TS]

00:27:57   just a slap at to get I'm not an [TS]

00:27:59   astronaut I'm not going all the way [TS]

00:28:01   there like they have to now [TS]

00:28:05   no I that for as far as i can tell the [TS]

00:28:08   choice of pink pants but the valid [TS]

00:28:10   choice of pink pants leaving inside [TS]

00:28:12   anything with drawstrings you can either [TS]

00:28:15   get tight a skinny fit uniqlo pink pants [TS]

00:28:22   right that like why the project runway [TS]

00:28:24   pants [TS]

00:28:25   yeah that you require you wear white [TS]

00:28:26   sunglasses and they have a fauxhawk [TS]

00:28:28   evening which are not which are not [TS]

00:28:31   going to look good on me I'm gonna look [TS]

00:28:32   I'm gonna look like a lollipop [TS]

00:28:34   I'm gonna look like an Oxford cloth [TS]

00:28:36   lollipop or you get some proper pink [TS]

00:28:40   pants that will you that that an old man [TS]

00:28:42   on Cape Cod where i like-like-like from [TS]

00:28:46   your preppy days like like nightwear [TS]

00:28:47   normal pants [TS]

00:28:48   ya better better pants that might have [TS]

00:28:50   anchors on them [TS]

00:28:52   right for that but orbital completed [TS]

00:28:54   right you're not gonna play completed [TS]

00:28:56   flat-front i'm looking forward to option [TS]

00:29:00   3 cotton pants you know in a light pink [TS]

00:29:03   color which is what which is what I got [TS]

00:29:06   and I and they are very they're very [TS]

00:29:08   comfortable and not only are they [TS]

00:29:10   comfortable to wear but they are I'm [TS]

00:29:11   very comfortable with what they say [TS]

00:29:13   about me you just comfortable with pink [TS]

00:29:15   you always happen [TS]

00:29:16   yeah yeah i think is a hell of a good [TS]

00:29:18   color for men an option 30 could you [TS]

00:29:24   could choose to get comically oversized [TS]

00:29:27   ballooning role because once you get it [TS]

00:29:31   once you get a little heavier than you'd [TS]

00:29:32   like it's really rewarding to buy pants [TS]

00:29:34   and exercise big so they don't feel like [TS]

00:29:36   you're fat pants no I can't do that [TS]

00:29:38   anymore because I'm already putting out [TS]

00:29:40   of stock since i'm already at the left [TS]

00:29:41   the limit [TS]

00:29:42   i'm at the moment I set for myself and [TS]

00:29:45   this excuse me excuse me are these a [TS]

00:29:48   size eight [TS]

00:29:50   no sir please turn it a quarter turn [TS]

00:29:52   that's an infinity sign up but i think [TS]

00:29:54   the third option is you buy a pair of [TS]

00:29:56   white levis and you dive in pink but I'm [TS]

00:29:58   not gonna do that [TS]

00:29:59   ah i don't know if you remember this and [TS]

00:30:02   I if you remember please tell because [TS]

00:30:04   you'll talk better than 90 but um I was [TS]

00:30:07   into the action stuff as you know I used [TS]

00:30:08   to weigh 30 pounds more now especially [TS]

00:30:10   turning to my side and pulling my pants [TS]

00:30:11   ad saying she'll be largely usually [TS]

00:30:13   bigger band was a bigger man i had or [TS]

00:30:15   orange hair but I well I remember it was [TS]

00:30:19   it wasn't really very first met but like [TS]

00:30:20   a room i think was around the time we [TS]

00:30:22   met I long after that it really was like [TS]

00:30:24   catching fire I've been doing it for [TS]

00:30:25   like animal a pretty good while but it [TS]

00:30:27   really caught on [TS]

00:30:28   everybody was doing Atkins and you as if [TS]

00:30:30   I remember were just you kind of just [TS]

00:30:31   sick of hearing people talk about Atkins [TS]

00:30:33   and then then he died [TS]

00:30:35   yes and easily seriously look at our [TS]

00:30:38   butter to remember if you remember what [TS]

00:30:42   you said people who talked about Atkins [TS]

00:30:44   that I'm not Church you were talking to [TS]

00:30:47   a woman who is going on and on about [TS]

00:30:49   about Atkins yeah i'm telling your story [TS]

00:30:52   i hope you don't mind so casually sell [TS]

00:30:53   you acting so much healthier suspect and [TS]

00:30:55   and well well look what happened to him [TS]

00:31:00   hey you know what Eagle he died [TS]

00:31:03   and we hit he felt he slipped on ice and [TS]

00:31:06   fell down you won't see up so I just [TS]

00:31:13   that but obviously you're telling of it [TS]

00:31:14   was better but that's it you know it [TS]

00:31:17   does make you feel better you get more [TS]

00:31:18   energy but you get to get into that they [TS]

00:31:20   call it the induction phase which is [TS]

00:31:21   they're made-up name for the getting [TS]

00:31:23   into darkness and whenever you go to you [TS]

00:31:25   know it's fun it's fun to do is go to an [TS]

00:31:27   actual physician that went to an [TS]

00:31:28   American Medical School and tell them [TS]

00:31:30   about things you read about it like that [TS]

00:31:32   sure you talk to him about chiropractic [TS]

00:31:34   you you go in and talk to somebody who's [TS]

00:31:36   actually had a chemistry class and use [TS]

00:31:38   words like ketosis yeah well as far as I [TS]

00:31:41   said somebody at the gas station saying [TS]

00:31:43   to you you did that one song had like [TS]

00:31:45   what [TS]

00:31:45   so talking about a little 64 flat on it [TS]

00:31:48   was there but the one with a string with [TS]

00:31:50   the string what was that thing about the [TS]

00:31:52   thing about playing guitars that the [TS]

00:31:54   barrier to entry is a lot lower [TS]

00:31:56   so the kinetic gas station days and for [TS]

00:31:58   reading more about it than I do he's in [TS]

00:32:00   rehab for people at the severe head [TS]

00:32:01   trauma [TS]

00:32:02   it's it's that easy to pick up that what [TS]

00:32:05   I'm discovering about myself is that I i [TS]

00:32:07   do not have I do not have such a [TS]

00:32:11   sophisticated palate that the head [TS]

00:32:14   frankly that I give a shit what what I [TS]

00:32:17   eat [TS]

00:32:17   you know like food true that food is not [TS]

00:32:21   a form of entertainment and make sure it [TS]

00:32:23   doesn't seem to come into it could be in [TS]

00:32:24   a can be on a counter [TS]

00:32:26   yeah start with ants listen if if if if [TS]

00:32:30   the chef boyardee has been anywhere [TS]

00:32:32   close to it I'm i know i'm going to [TS]

00:32:33   enjoy it but it but but I'm not but I'm [TS]

00:32:36   not against like fancy food but it'sit's [TS]

00:32:40   just that food is a kind of like my [TS]

00:32:44   relationship to food is both like full [TS]

00:32:47   of boredom and also full of like [TS]

00:32:51   emotional neediness you know I mean like [TS]

00:32:54   I go downstairs and I make a four-pound [TS]

00:32:57   bowl don't care what comes next [TS]

00:33:01   found full of sugar covered with fat [TS]

00:33:06   and I said you know and I just let it [TS]

00:33:10   drip down my chin I just eating it just [TS]

00:33:13   you know kind of softly crying and just [TS]

00:33:16   trying to fill the hole in me with [TS]

00:33:19   spackle and I need to I need to break [TS]

00:33:23   that cycle [TS]

00:33:24   yeah and get him to a place where food [TS]

00:33:28   is dead animals which is what it should [TS]

00:33:31   be [TS]

00:33:32   uh-huh a dead animals at in a in just [TS]

00:33:35   that with them with a minimum of Bologna [TS]

00:33:38   or rather if you want to wrap it in [TS]

00:33:41   Bologna that's fine too but dead animals [TS]

00:33:43   with salt and butter [TS]

00:33:44   it sounds and then I'll just don't know [TS]

00:33:47   I feel like a lot of my troubles will go [TS]

00:33:49   away and I'll stop I'll stop crying [TS]

00:33:50   while i eat i will stop listening to [TS]

00:33:53   people talk about food completely [TS]

00:33:55   instead of like ninety-eight percent [TS]

00:33:57   isn't that huge turn-on it's all I can [TS]

00:33:59   do not to tell you like to tell you not [TS]

00:34:01   to share with you half a dozen different [TS]

00:34:03   very strong feelings they have about [TS]

00:34:04   this because of the impact it has had on [TS]

00:34:06   me but it's just it's so fucking boring [TS]

00:34:09   to hear people talk about food i read i [TS]

00:34:12   get rid of all books out of my life to [TS]

00:34:14   god they're so annoying [TS]

00:34:17   the books we gotta go you know you know [TS]

00:34:19   if my house is gonna be like one of [TS]

00:34:21   those houses like what you he finished [TS]

00:34:23   dinner you have quite a plan ready here [TS]

00:34:24   I think it i think i'm gonna make my [TS]

00:34:26   house like a hotel but I can you know [TS]

00:34:29   its unique one of those skis is hotels [TS]

00:34:31   yeah levels like a ski lodge you know [TS]

00:34:35   what um great seinfeld jokes you want [TS]

00:34:38   you don't you should do you know I the [TS]

00:34:40   last thing in the world you should do [TS]

00:34:42   with your actual house as far as I'm [TS]

00:34:43   concerned is turned into an actual bed [TS]

00:34:45   and breakfast going to be kind of nice [TS]

00:34:47   if you made it look like a [TS]

00:34:48   bed-and-breakfast and you just live [TS]

00:34:50   there would that be nice like a [TS]

00:34:52   bed-and-breakfast yes it's the thing is [TS]

00:34:54   if you you have guessed a lot in your [TS]

00:34:55   wonderful host [TS]

00:34:56   thank you God thank ya seriously I mean [TS]

00:34:59   it's wonderful to be there but it could [TS]

00:35:00   be the world's most secure [TS]

00:35:02   bed-and-breakfast other places you go [TS]

00:35:04   there are holes on the perimeter [TS]

00:35:06   everywhere they can weigh more about [TS]

00:35:08   muffins that about somebody getting a [TS]

00:35:09   clear shot you know from 300 yards away [TS]

00:35:12   right right you don't you can do with [TS]

00:35:13   the scope with browning things i watched [TS]

00:35:15   a document about Cyprus today [TS]

00:35:17   I mean a lot of people don't realize how [TS]

00:35:18   unprotected their bed-and-breakfast is [TS]

00:35:19   you put out you put down some Yahtzee [TS]

00:35:22   and fucking family circle from 1982 and [TS]

00:35:24   you call the hotel fuck that the thing [TS]

00:35:26   about a sniper though is he's out there [TS]

00:35:29   mhm and yet you have to you have to [TS]

00:35:31   pretty much trust that the sniper is not [TS]

00:35:34   going to start feeling somewhat he's not [TS]

00:35:36   gonna start feeling estranged he's [TS]

00:35:38   watching she's watching your perimeter [TS]

00:35:40   be swatching it through a scope so he's [TS]

00:35:41   only getting some he's only getting half [TS]

00:35:43   of the context he sees you go out to the [TS]

00:35:45   mailbox every day is your pants he sees [TS]

00:35:49   he sees you talking to people guy and a [TS]

00:35:51   guy in a dark sedan drives up you lean [TS]

00:35:54   in to the window you talk for a few [TS]

00:35:55   minutes he drives away pretty soon the [TS]

00:35:57   sniper starts to feel it's just in their [TS]

00:35:59   nature to feel a creeping right away [TS]

00:36:01   it's like that other people's lives [TS]

00:36:03   movie right or are you start to start [TS]

00:36:05   listening long enough and pretty soon [TS]

00:36:06   your part you're part of the list maybe [TS]

00:36:08   he looks and he sees some overstock [TS]

00:36:09   pillows or some Braille Playboy's and he [TS]

00:36:12   feels he starts feeling maybe he wants [TS]

00:36:13   to you know spend a couple nights there [TS]

00:36:15   may be a Liberty weekend [TS]

00:36:16   yeah he said he starts to say to himself [TS]

00:36:17   why am i why am i stationed up in this [TS]

00:36:20   tree covered in netting while people are [TS]

00:36:22   coming sleeping comfortably in this [TS]

00:36:24   house and my nominal employer the the [TS]

00:36:27   owner of the bed-and-breakfast keeps [TS]

00:36:30   talking to men in dark sedans what if [TS]

00:36:32   you have the world's first [TS]

00:36:33   bed-and-breakfast exclusively for [TS]

00:36:34   snipers they could come in maybe maybe [TS]

00:36:39   they could come in and help you i mean [TS]

00:36:40   obviously you know most of what you need [TS]

00:36:41   to know but if you had exclusively [TS]

00:36:43   paramilitary black ops kinds of people [TS]

00:36:46   that can see that they know it's a [TS]

00:36:47   comfortable place it in a secured [TS]

00:36:49   location [TS]

00:36:50   I'm saying I'm just saying the thing is [TS]

00:36:53   it's all about vertical markets John if [TS]

00:36:54   you want to score high on yelp you're [TS]

00:36:56   gonna have to go beyond like I we have [TS]

00:36:57   prints and shit you know to something [TS]

00:36:59   like you know you get a boiled egg and [TS]

00:37:01   we talk too much when I see no I'm [TS]

00:37:04   seeing what you're saying because [TS]

00:37:05   they're after the astronauts maybe [TS]

00:37:07   astronauts it swelled with if you if you [TS]

00:37:09   just if you just focus on snipers you [TS]

00:37:10   got marine snipers you got there for [TS]

00:37:12   snipers you got army snipers you got [TS]

00:37:14   then you've got all the like you've got [TS]

00:37:17   the CIA snipers but you've also got [TS]

00:37:19   these weird like State Department [TS]

00:37:21   snipers that nobody ever these guys [TS]

00:37:23   John's gonna be guys you can errands [TS]

00:37:25   going to have one of those black amex [TS]

00:37:27   cards african-american amex cards [TS]

00:37:28   they're gonna hand it over [TS]

00:37:30   you're not [TS]

00:37:30   gonna know what kind of sniper they are [TS]

00:37:31   and let's be honest they may not even [TS]

00:37:33   know what kind of sniper they were they [TS]

00:37:34   didn't know they work for [TS]

00:37:35   it's a huge untapped market we don't [TS]

00:37:37   even know how many snipers are out there [TS]

00:37:38   literally tire size or just returned [TS]

00:37:40   currently active snipers I think that I [TS]

00:37:44   i'm guessing there are snipers that [TS]

00:37:46   don't even know their sniper Oh hundred [TS]

00:37:48   percent sleeper cell manager handed now [TS]

00:37:50   how do you get the word out to those [TS]

00:37:52   guys you just need the right marketing [TS]

00:37:53   materials probably a facebook page and [TS]

00:37:56   it's just collecting bikes [TS]

00:37:58   well okay so there's a lot of ways you [TS]

00:38:00   could go with this i'm just gonna say [TS]

00:38:01   first of all there's nothing in this [TS]

00:38:02   world more deadly than a marine his [TS]

00:38:04   rifle you know that we wear that the it [TS]

00:38:07   yeah i remember the guy up in the tower [TS]

00:38:10   in austin that's right George Williams [TS]

00:38:12   sir charles where he learned is where he [TS]

00:38:15   learned his trade agreement sir that's [TS]

00:38:17   right the Marines but I'm gonna call you [TS]

00:38:20   private doesn't know he's a sniper all [TS]

00:38:24   you know what in order to check in here [TS]

00:38:25   you have to prove that you were born [TS]

00:38:27   again hard can you do that is down here [TS]

00:38:29   and dissemble your rifle you go into the [TS]

00:38:32   latrine you got yet watch that night [TS]

00:38:34   now there's a lot of things that you [TS]

00:38:36   could do I mean obviously I guess [TS]

00:38:37   there's two ways you could go i think [TS]

00:38:39   its first again I as soon as you know I [TS]

00:38:42   am NOT a bed-and-breakfast consultant [TS]

00:38:44   yeah but i had to get my you might want [TS]

00:38:46   to start with people who know their [TS]

00:38:47   snipers and just break this is a problem [TS]

00:38:50   with me and my relationship to snipers [TS]

00:38:52   in my relationship to all kinds of all [TS]

00:38:54   kinds of people that I that I that I [TS]

00:38:56   think I want to be friends with the the [TS]

00:38:59   number one problem with me being friends [TS]

00:39:02   with former Special Ops people is that i [TS]

00:39:05   am not a member of that fraternity [TS]

00:39:06   technically right so when they say when [TS]

00:39:11   they like flash their little skulls head [TS]

00:39:13   ring or they say you know where did you [TS]

00:39:17   serve or whatever it is that they say to [TS]

00:39:18   each other when they say 6am Semper [TS]

00:39:20   Tyrannis or I think they get the job [TS]

00:39:25   John Wilkes Booth company said it but [TS]

00:39:28   it's a Dolce Far Niente or whatever it [TS]

00:39:31   is they're trained to say it a certain [TS]

00:39:33   little TV division and I say you know [TS]

00:39:36   and I say you know what group or [TS]

00:39:39   whatever whatever my reply is it means [TS]

00:39:42   that skullenbones thing you just [TS]

00:39:43   responded with the [TS]

00:39:44   whoop to the sniper exactly i showed [TS]

00:39:46   them my my masonic pinky ring but they [TS]

00:39:48   know it's wrong but the this the points [TS]

00:39:51   of the star are facing away from my [TS]

00:39:53   heart or whatever i've already i'm not [TS]

00:39:56   already not a member of of the [TS]

00:39:58   fraternity enough that I can that I can [TS]

00:40:01   bridge that gap and and make the common [TS]

00:40:03   cause with them that I feel like that I [TS]

00:40:05   in my imagination exists but that but [TS]

00:40:09   the other problem and this is one that [TS]

00:40:10   is that's growing in concern to me is [TS]

00:40:14   that there's been a lot of a lot more [TS]

00:40:16   exposure of Special Operations people in [TS]

00:40:21   the last 10 years you know it you during [TS]

00:40:24   the Reagan like an awareness of what [TS]

00:40:26   they do routing as both I mean just [TS]

00:40:30   because of the way our culture goes the [TS]

00:40:32   whole business in in 1985 if you worked [TS]

00:40:36   in any fashion in a secret agency you [TS]

00:40:40   made no reference to it whatsoever your [TS]

00:40:43   your spouse didn't know you yet you [TS]

00:40:46   won't show up in Scarsdale do you know [TS]

00:40:48   that thing that thing down Nicaragua [TS]

00:40:50   that was me [TS]

00:40:51   yeah right you weren't certainly writing [TS]

00:40:53   a book about it are appearing on [TS]

00:40:54   television about it but now i don't know [TS]

00:40:56   if you saw but there was this movie that [TS]

00:40:58   came out a couple years ago that was all [TS]

00:41:00   currently active SEAL team members [TS]

00:41:04   starring in this movie and it was it was [TS]

00:41:06   predictably awful the acting was the [TS]

00:41:09   event was effective world i mean is that [TS]

00:41:12   these are they were acting in this movie [TS]

00:41:13   was a documentary [TS]

00:41:14   yeah it was a SEAL team here it was a [TS]

00:41:16   SEAL team movie where they were out [TS]

00:41:18   chasing terrorists and jumping out of [TS]

00:41:21   airplanes and and they had and they had [TS]

00:41:23   like boats outfitted with Gatling guns [TS]

00:41:26   that could strip the bark off a tree and [TS]

00:41:29   and all this crazy shit and they were [TS]

00:41:31   flying around the world and chasing [TS]

00:41:34   terrorists but it was all the actors [TS]

00:41:36   were all active SEAL team members and so [TS]

00:41:38   the dialogue was it was it was like [TS]

00:41:41   watching of the bark of a tree try and [TS]

00:41:44   then do line readings sounds like that [TS]

00:41:48   would defeat the purpose of two [TS]

00:41:49   different industries on the one hand you [TS]

00:41:51   have the desire to theoretically [TS]

00:41:53   entertain people and on the other hand [TS]

00:41:55   you try to keep the country safe bye [TS]

00:41:57   saying who's a seal well so so but my [TS]

00:42:00   experience of you know of absorbing and [TS]

00:42:03   consuming all this special forces [TS]

00:42:06   material you know it began of course [TS]

00:42:10   with them with the movie where the girl [TS]

00:42:14   from st. Elmo's fire went through the [TS]

00:42:16   seal training and shaved her head [TS]

00:42:19   oh come on mrs. bruce willis yes the [TS]

00:42:23   lady who is in if the action to [TS]

00:42:25   Kitchener's G&G Obama GI jane was at it [TS]

00:42:28   so I want I because that movie was on [TS]

00:42:31   cable a lot and because I will always [TS]

00:42:33   watch dramatized sere training i watch [TS]

00:42:40   that movie a dozen times and a and back [TS]

00:42:43   then you couldn't trust what you were [TS]

00:42:45   seeing because it was just Hollywood and [TS]

00:42:47   it was some dumb it was some dumb movie [TS]

00:42:49   but now you get to meet the seal people [TS]

00:42:52   on TV or on the internet there you get [TS]

00:42:56   to see them in real life and my [TS]

00:42:58   perception of them which was completely [TS]

00:43:00   formed in my imagination with no basis [TS]

00:43:02   in reality my perception of them being [TS]

00:43:06   Jason Bourne like at the minimum but but [TS]

00:43:11   but honestly my perception my dream of [TS]

00:43:13   them was the pick overall like roddy [TS]

00:43:15   mcdowall over we're getting into it with [TS]

00:43:18   it no no no no notnot be not your body [TS]

00:43:22   Piper I've been rod roddy mcdowall sorry [TS]

00:43:25   Cornelius yeah [TS]

00:43:26   Cornelius exactly but hey is that you [TS]

00:43:29   know he plays an American in the longest [TS]

00:43:31   day [TS]

00:43:31   that's right well he's a great actor [TS]

00:43:35   watch the three times but I always [TS]

00:43:36   imagined Special Forces people were [TS]

00:43:38   likable British oh my goodness yes I [TS]

00:43:40   mean I I mean I know you're not a comic [TS]

00:43:42   person but I mean it's like people in [TS]

00:43:43   shield imagine it's going to be people [TS]

00:43:45   who are super-smart super-fit yeah you [TS]

00:43:47   know super with it I felt this way about [TS]

00:43:49   Scientologists and then I watched a [TS]

00:43:50   couple documentaries and they're real [TS]

00:43:52   doughy but they were locked offer and [TS]

00:43:54   that's the thing about these steel guys [TS]

00:43:56   the more of them I see them like that [TS]

00:43:58   Vice Principals well and every single [TS]

00:44:00   one of them is a god damn hillbilly [TS]

00:44:02   asshole like and and the more I think [TS]

00:44:05   about it it's like well duh of course [TS]

00:44:07   who is going to go [TS]

00:44:09   who is [TS]

00:44:10   to go through all that bullshit they're [TS]

00:44:12   not gonna make it out of the swiss [TS]

00:44:13   embassy like they're like a born [TS]

00:44:15   these guys are just guys that that are [TS]

00:44:18   that are attracted to the seals because [TS]

00:44:21   a they are like hyper patriotic be they [TS]

00:44:24   want to meet every challenge and you [TS]

00:44:29   know I never never fail and see they [TS]

00:44:33   want to they want to run big machines [TS]

00:44:36   you know they want i like it it's [TS]

00:44:38   basically the same foods that are [TS]

00:44:40   building drag drag strip cars they just [TS]

00:44:44   these are like people who are like I [TS]

00:44:46   mean I don't have cable but it sounds [TS]

00:44:48   like from what I've seen of cable this [TS]

00:44:50   is like people who should have a cable [TS]

00:44:51   TV show it's like heavy guys with [TS]

00:44:53   mustaches and and like colorful accents [TS]

00:44:55   maybe they make motorcycles or in this [TS]

00:44:57   case they they invade banana republics [TS]

00:44:59   you are they go yeah exactly the [TS]

00:45:01   helicopter and they go they may sneak [TS]

00:45:03   into people's houses and shoot them and [TS]

00:45:05   why I thought that they were going to be [TS]

00:45:07   like David Niven instead of like larry [TS]

00:45:09   the cable guy i don't know but they're [TS]

00:45:12   basically they're basically all better [TS]

00:45:15   educated by any member states [TS]

00:45:17   you're totally right and they sit there [TS]

00:45:19   and they got like the big that to get [TS]

00:45:20   the big like meat beard and then we're [TS]

00:45:23   not sure that's a little too tight [TS]

00:45:23   you're totally you're totally right and [TS]

00:45:25   then they believe that bear on a [TS]

00:45:27   Christian mission to like destroy the [TS]

00:45:30   infidel isn't depressing and then so but [TS]

00:45:33   for me that I want somebody like you so [TS]

00:45:35   much I wanna talk to you about and why [TS]

00:45:37   watched up and brothers again and let's [TS]

00:45:39   say I want to be like like Easy Company [TS]

00:45:40   like that i want to be guys like that [TS]

00:45:42   every night from Brooklyn's together [TS]

00:45:45   cams is the other guy from Brooklyn but [TS]

00:45:47   you know how it is for me like it you [TS]

00:45:48   know you like was it David Niven right [TS]

00:45:51   mcdowell who is HUD Rowdy Roddy Piper [TS]

00:45:53   for me it's a maximum sit out in three [TS]

00:45:56   days of the Condor right [TS]

00:45:58   I just he is he is so cool he is so [TS]

00:46:01   stone cold in that movie [TS]

00:46:03   he's angry eyes that always gets me is [TS]

00:46:04   being in seven seal but he said lots of [TS]

00:46:06   like really normal movies too [TS]

00:46:08   I mean the exorcist i always forget [TS]

00:46:09   about that very formal or or the the [TS]

00:46:11   actor that was in the day of the jackal [TS]

00:46:13   who was also enforced 10 from navarone [TS]

00:46:17   and that Robert Shaw no no I robertshaw [TS]

00:46:20   although he was enforcing it is anymore [TS]

00:46:22   as [TS]

00:46:22   more than jackal he's the enforcement [TS]

00:46:25   from Navarone he's the british guy with [TS]

00:46:26   the briefcase full of explosives and in [TS]

00:46:28   the jackal he's the jackal and so what [TS]

00:46:31   we've got here is what I refer to as the [TS]

00:46:32   Larry continuum you know and you've got [TS]

00:46:35   like you've got you gotta get your [TS]

00:46:37   Larry's it at anyway I have so many [TS]

00:46:41   things i want to ask you about I'm sorry [TS]

00:46:42   I have a lot of notes right here and so [TS]

00:46:44   the problem is if you're gonna open this [TS]

00:46:45   bed-and-breakfast you're gonna need you [TS]

00:46:48   so we're in some sort of awareness about [TS]

00:46:50   what do you really want to have larry [TS]

00:46:52   the cable guy staying at your house for [TS]

00:46:53   that's the problem i'm gonna have to [TS]

00:46:55   stock the refrigerator with jimmy dean [TS]

00:46:56   sausage and I and hand it might get for [TS]

00:47:00   your diet my stereo is just gonna be all [TS]

00:47:02   whatever that like Garth Brooks is heavy [TS]

00:47:06   metal alternative persona that's right [TS]

00:47:09   yeah she didn't really like these are [TS]

00:47:13   guys these are guys that are listening [TS]

00:47:14   to a that are listening to like Creed on [TS]

00:47:18   their work kid rock on their way while [TS]

00:47:21   they're in the helicopter on their way [TS]

00:47:22   to make the make the world a better [TS]

00:47:25   place and I'm not sure I want him in my [TS]

00:47:27   house i'm not sure that I'm gonna have [TS]

00:47:29   anything in common with them see by this [TS]

00:47:32   is where this is where I think you can [TS]

00:47:34   work outside of the yelp model [TS]

00:47:38   I mean what if you would have for [TS]

00:47:39   example I mean again you don't have [TS]

00:47:42   enough insider knowledge i mean you know [TS]

00:47:44   like when we were kids and certainly for [TS]

00:47:45   years before we were kids you know [TS]

00:47:47   there's the FBI you knew they were like [TS]

00:47:49   secret agents [TS]

00:47:50   that's right you didn't know you go to [TS]

00:47:51   Wikipedia now you can read like seven [TS]

00:47:52   levels deep about the black black black [TS]

00:47:54   ops and all that kind of stuff and [TS]

00:47:56   obviously it's a little late for you to [TS]

00:47:57   just be getting started with that [TS]

00:47:59   yes but but you could have a covert bed [TS]

00:48:02   and breakfast and maybe that becomes a [TS]

00:48:03   word-of-mouth thing where you wouldn't [TS]

00:48:05   let anybody in you maybe would make the [TS]

00:48:07   think it's a normal bed and breakfast [TS]

00:48:08   which none of these neighbors want to [TS]

00:48:09   stay at em jumpin in your neighborhood [TS]

00:48:11   what you're going to johns neighborhoods [TS]

00:48:13   data at a bed-and-breakfast what if i [TS]

00:48:15   start a bed-and-breakfast and I don't [TS]

00:48:16   let anybody come stay here i think it's [TS]

00:48:18   a terrific start [TS]

00:48:20   well I'm gonna think about it you could [TS]

00:48:22   you could have to do some tests & test [TS]

00:48:23   flights you know [TS]

00:48:26   I don't know I'm just saying you travel [TS]

00:48:28   a lot it's the kind of thing where once [TS]

00:48:29   it gets running maybe somebody could be [TS]

00:48:31   like a TV show maybe some of the snipers [TS]

00:48:32   to come and work there but I feel I feel [TS]

00:48:35   like I would i want a very much want to [TS]

00:48:38   be part of this world where people are [TS]

00:48:40   how swapping they they trade their cool [TS]

00:48:45   house for somebody's apartment in Paris [TS]

00:48:47   like video games I could if I completely [TS]

00:48:49   missed this entire phenomenal I know [TS]

00:48:51   anyways out there but people talk about [TS]

00:48:52   it like it's a normal thing is [TS]

00:48:54   completely passed me over [TS]

00:48:55   yeah it's happening and I think it's [TS]

00:48:57   brilliant put prep precisely because [TS]

00:48:59   what you do is you trade the mundane [TS]

00:49:02   reality of your life with somebody [TS]

00:49:05   else's mundane reality and they think [TS]

00:49:07   they think where you live in San [TS]

00:49:09   Francisco is amazing and you think [TS]

00:49:11   whatever like outlying suburb of Paris [TS]

00:49:13   they live in is amazing it's like [TS]

00:49:14   swapping underwear it's all yeah I was [TS]

00:49:16   actually in not something where is [TS]

00:49:18   incredible it's just underwear [TS]

00:49:20   yeah it's awesome the problem with it is [TS]

00:49:22   that my house is situated just far [TS]

00:49:26   enough outside of the ring and buy the [TS]

00:49:29   ring i mean the ring of whites the rig [TS]

00:49:33   the ring of anglo-saxon scared people [TS]

00:49:36   that make a ring of whites it's sounds [TS]

00:49:39   like some kind of community group in [TS]

00:49:40   your mom's ok [TS]

00:49:41   the ring of whites in downtown Seattle [TS]

00:49:44   who are terrified of ever having any [TS]

00:49:47   conflict that is what other people think [TS]

00:49:50   is what's magical about Seattle and so [TS]

00:49:52   somebody from Paris is going to come [TS]

00:49:53   here and they're gonna be like what is [TS]

00:49:56   this car on the giant wheels and i'm [TS]

00:49:58   going to say oh that's a donk [TS]

00:49:59   there there could stay i'm heading home [TS]

00:50:03   not working they don't want to trade car [TS]

00:50:05   they don't want to trade houses with me [TS]

00:50:07   may now know donk is a real word [TS]

00:50:10   okay i think that means but doesn't know [TS]

00:50:13   the better donka donk the derivation of [TS]

00:50:15   donk this is based on this based on the [TS]

00:50:18   dirty south culture like around the sort [TS]

00:50:21   of Florida Atlanta axis and the with the [TS]

00:50:25   original cars that they used to put on [TS]

00:50:28   those giant rims who were in Paula's and [TS]

00:50:32   the little jumping impala logo on the [TS]

00:50:35   back of an Impala the little little [TS]

00:50:37   impala [TS]

00:50:39   like elk deer whatever the thing who [TS]

00:50:43   whatever the little like leaping girl is [TS]

00:50:46   Elish logo the Gazelle on the back of an [TS]

00:50:49   Impala the the the purveyors of these of [TS]

00:50:55   these giants hopped up a custom cars [TS]

00:50:59   felt like that animal looked like a [TS]

00:51:02   donkey and so they started calling the [TS]

00:51:06   cars donkeys and then shorten two dogs [TS]

00:51:08   and now it is Benson you know it's a [TS]

00:51:11   phenomenon its worldwide phenomenon of [TS]

00:51:12   the car up on the tall wheels dunk but [TS]

00:51:15   they're called dogs through a nice a lot [TS]

00:51:17   of people pitbull there are from inside [TS]

00:51:21   the the white ring my and I know the [TS]

00:51:23   dogs as much special operations inside [TS]

00:51:25   the way inside the White the ring of [TS]

00:51:27   whites that that that you know the dogs [TS]

00:51:29   are only passing through but down here [TS]

00:51:33   I don't know the dogs are it there that [TS]

00:51:35   they are the main form of motorized [TS]

00:51:37   transport transit and somebody from [TS]

00:51:40   Paris might think that that's [TS]

00:51:41   fascinating but it's also like it's a [TS]

00:51:43   little bit outside of like oh lets you [TS]

00:51:46   know what I think you are you in her [TS]

00:51:49   cell you understand the continent but [TS]

00:51:50   here's the thing the last thing i want [TS]

00:51:52   to do tonight is accuse you black and [TS]

00:51:53   white thinking John but i think i think [TS]

00:51:55   eat whether it's your diet or your pants [TS]

00:51:57   I think it helps to start small but not [TS]

00:51:59   too small now where they will believe [TS]

00:52:00   will be uncomfortable bind but I think [TS]

00:52:02   you have to start with small little [TS]

00:52:03   small steps and if you're going to have [TS]

00:52:05   a covert bed-and-breakfast let's start [TS]

00:52:07   by just having a man maybe a [TS]

00:52:08   bed-and-breakfast and it does not even [TS]

00:52:10   have to be available to the public you [TS]

00:52:11   should you see if you like having that [TS]

00:52:12   kind of a setup [TS]

00:52:13   I mean I think they're real quick if [TS]

00:52:15   you're stating a bed-and-breakfast what [TS]

00:52:18   my experience of bed and breakfast is [TS]

00:52:20   that they have a lot of victoriano right [TS]

00:52:25   like oh yeah lamps with the look like [TS]

00:52:28   heavy brocade shady every cliché in a [TS]

00:52:31   movie that you've ever seen about that [TS]

00:52:33   breakfast is true inclusive I mean we [TS]

00:52:36   spaced one once and it was I mean of all [TS]

00:52:39   the things that make me uncomfortable [TS]

00:52:40   about hotels at least national hotel [TS]

00:52:43   chains understand the most important [TS]

00:52:45   thing [TS]

00:52:45   well what they understand important [TS]

00:52:47   thing [TS]

00:52:47   which is to make it seem like nobody's [TS]

00:52:49   ever been in your room before right [TS]

00:52:51   right but in these places that is not [TS]

00:52:55   the primary assumption instead they want [TS]

00:52:57   to look like let's look like thousands [TS]

00:52:59   of people have been in your room over [TS]

00:53:02   the last 200 years and everything is [TS]

00:53:03   creaky everything i wove in that paper [TS]

00:53:07   the walls with corduroy to cool actually [TS]

00:53:09   collect dander [TS]

00:53:11   oh god that from from guests you know so [TS]

00:53:14   much standard you can collect in [TS]

00:53:15   flocking just that a baseline level just [TS]

00:53:18   a background dancer collects in a flock [TS]

00:53:20   I think I have an aunt in my ear how it [TS]

00:53:24   would have gotten in there but it [TS]

00:53:26   I'm sorry to interrupt is that all my [TS]

00:53:29   here arm 18 a minute i can click the [TS]

00:53:32   hyperlinks again no no it's all right [TS]

00:53:34   i'm gonna i'm gonna survive it I you [TS]

00:53:36   know I have I have a little bit of that [TS]

00:53:37   sympathetic and in the ear problem we're [TS]

00:53:39   just I imagine it's it goes back to star [TS]

00:53:43   trek wrath of khan if I'm gonna get that [TS]

00:53:45   without you the way you are with [TS]

00:53:47   raccoons that's kind of how I am with [TS]

00:53:48   the answer i got a lot of respect for [TS]

00:53:49   him if I had taken out of new like a [TS]

00:53:51   gentleman but that's one solution [TS]

00:53:53   yeah we stayed in one time and the the [TS]

00:53:56   price was competitive with other places [TS]

00:53:58   and it was mailed to the location where [TS]

00:53:59   standing and when your family in a Rhode [TS]

00:54:01   Island and it was really easy it seemed [TS]

00:54:04   great we got there it'll be quick about [TS]

00:54:06   this be going first of all if you're [TS]

00:54:08   gonna get there get there after seven [TS]

00:54:10   let us now because we'll have to like [TS]

00:54:11   you know you flip the light on and off [TS]

00:54:13   seven times and come down and we'll have [TS]

00:54:14   some piece of four years ago fuck [TS]

00:54:17   first of all when you check in the main [TS]

00:54:20   lobby if you like meaning their living [TS]

00:54:22   room is not open so you have to go in [TS]

00:54:24   through the antique store entrance [TS]

00:54:25   ah because of course it has an antique [TS]

00:54:29   store [TS]

00:54:29   I like this place really focusing on [TS]

00:54:31   figurines [TS]

00:54:32   I don't like this so a lady and a [TS]

00:54:34   housecoat comes down at eight o'clock [TS]

00:54:37   I like this place she's not in a good [TS]

00:54:39   way she comes down and I'm even head [TS]

00:54:42   down to like the junk junk credit card [TS]

00:54:43   thing and got your check and going to [TS]

00:54:45   this room it's incredibly creepy sure [TS]

00:54:48   you know use massive yes everything [TS]

00:54:50   slanted I mean it'sit's everything's [TS]

00:54:52   like everything's like deliberately [TS]

00:54:54   human like everything's way to human you [TS]

00:54:57   know it's it's a control wabi sabi sabi [TS]

00:55:00   quality like [TS]

00:55:01   oh you know that stains vintage or [TS]

00:55:03   whatever but no okay so anyway it's [TS]

00:55:05   awful increases all it's not if it [TS]

00:55:07   smells like people have been there and [TS]

00:55:10   the the octagon and you know and you're [TS]

00:55:13   supposed to come down and eat breakfast [TS]

00:55:14   everybody that's not show big butt but [TS]

00:55:17   we have gotten your fanciest and if you [TS]

00:55:19   win you know I could practice and drop [TS]

00:55:20   it off okay sure fine with whatever [TS]

00:55:22   whatever [TS]

00:55:22   and so my lady and I are sleeping and we [TS]

00:55:25   hear this leg and and it's this woman [TS]

00:55:31   there's our room with a door that goes [TS]

00:55:35   after the hallway and there's another [TS]

00:55:36   door that we don't like really aware of [TS]

00:55:39   and there's this room between two rooms [TS]

00:55:41   where she goes in and puts this really [TS]

00:55:44   like not handmade in like a flake out [TS]

00:55:47   like a nice way but like it really looks [TS]

00:55:49   like a lady make a pretty major [TS]

00:55:50   breakfast and she puts it right outside [TS]

00:55:53   like where you're sleeping and you can [TS]

00:55:55   hear her like in here things like in the [TS]

00:55:57   anteroom it's kind of like at like and [TS]

00:55:59   then almost like an alcove and then here [TS]

00:56:01   she closes the other door you know so [TS]

00:56:03   it's like this little kind of like DMZ [TS]

00:56:05   between two runs on and it turns on a [TS]

00:56:07   red light and you know that you know [TS]

00:56:10   it's safe to go ahead and get your [TS]

00:56:11   hard-boiled egg put on your coat your [TS]

00:56:13   hose pants [TS]

00:56:14   yeah you go in there and saying that [TS]

00:56:16   John like like again to their credit [TS]

00:56:18   hotel you get a meal and it kinda looks [TS]

00:56:21   like nobody's ever touched it which is [TS]

00:56:22   you know whatever probably no shadow [TS]

00:56:24   machine shot out like no Punk chilly but [TS]

00:56:26   but in this case seriously like a [TS]

00:56:28   hard-boiled egg on a stand like really [TS]

00:56:31   really creepy and everything everything [TS]

00:56:32   smells like needlework it's just gross [TS]

00:56:35   I've never stayed in one of those in [TS]

00:56:36   America because why the hell would you [TS]

00:56:38   but I've stayed in a million of them in [TS]

00:56:39   Europe where we're staying in someone's [TS]

00:56:43   home and and you realize all of a sudden [TS]

00:56:44   that they have house rules that they [TS]

00:56:46   expect you know like I got yelled at by [TS]

00:56:48   an old woman one time for the way I was [TS]

00:56:50   taking a shower like she came into the [TS]

00:56:52   bathroom was like you can't take a [TS]

00:56:53   shower like this and i choose you get me [TS]

00:56:56   moving in [TS]

00:56:57   you can be in German and I was like I [TS]

00:56:59   don't know what you re doing wrong you [TS]

00:57:01   might have no idea i was taking a shower [TS]

00:57:03   and it's that that's the thing it so [TS]

00:57:05   it's like you're saying right in her [TS]

00:57:07   mind her imagination shower time is [TS]

00:57:10   between 7 45 and HDL and i was showering [TS]

00:57:13   at eight thirty six or something and she [TS]

00:57:15   like what are you doing we're all the [TS]

00:57:17   way into breakfast time now they luv [TS]

00:57:19   reels you can't be in the shower you are [TS]

00:57:21   there you are into breakfast deep into [TS]

00:57:23   breakfast breakfast is important the end [TS]

00:57:25   you know they serve a lot of bread there [TS]

00:57:26   they do dark bread cakes are bringing [TS]

00:57:29   that blood sausage my thinking also [TS]

00:57:31   though is so first of all fuck [TS]

00:57:33   bed-and-breakfast that's bullshit i [TS]

00:57:34   think i think it's a sniper who is out [TS]

00:57:36   there something it's a very high [TS]

00:57:37   pressure situation you don't let's be [TS]

00:57:38   honest you don't get to sleep real well [TS]

00:57:39   you might be in a blind or what would [TS]

00:57:42   you call it like you know you're up in [TS]

00:57:43   like a book your little sniper or a [TS]

00:57:45   whole week all that like I told that a [TS]

00:57:46   blind I mean that yeah what a hundred [TS]

00:57:48   would would make but yeah let's say so [TS]

00:57:50   it's a sniper blind shot okay keep in [TS]

00:57:53   your sniper blind maybe get a crick in [TS]

00:57:54   your neck you know but anyway all I'm [TS]

00:57:56   saying is translucent maybe they would [TS]

00:57:58   want to come then I don't think you're [TS]

00:57:59   going to want to come there and talk [TS]

00:58:00   about guns [TS]

00:58:01   I think guns and sniper nests and blinds [TS]

00:58:04   and trees are probably the last thing [TS]

00:58:05   they want to talk about them i want to [TS]

00:58:07   talk about raccoons this is the thing [TS]

00:58:08   that I this is what I'm afraid of I'm [TS]

00:58:10   afraid I'm afraid that special forces [TS]

00:58:12   people are not as sophisticated as I as [TS]

00:58:15   I hope and that in fact they do want to [TS]

00:58:18   talk about guns because it's all that [TS]

00:58:19   they want to talk they want to talk [TS]

00:58:20   about guns and freedom or are our who [TS]

00:58:23   knows or they want to talk about sports [TS]

00:58:25   now you're saying that might be all gosh [TS]

00:58:28   I don't get what you're saying but all [TS]

00:58:29   is said and I went down a real grilled [TS]

00:58:31   wormhole here it's a fucking bachelor [TS]

00:58:33   party and it's like five of these MOOCs [TS]

00:58:36   and they want to watch sports [TS]

00:58:37   yeah and have and have a hooker come [TS]

00:58:40   over or something really want to watch [TS]

00:58:41   sports maybe have a hooker come over and [TS]

00:58:43   everytime there every time a car [TS]

00:58:44   backfires outside they all hit the they [TS]

00:58:46   all are like under the tea tray which [TS]

00:58:49   they're still in Saigon and and you know [TS]

00:58:51   the guys are at it like like all of a [TS]

00:58:53   sudden all of a sudden you got a little [TS]

00:58:55   laser pointer sites going all over the [TS]

00:58:57   darkroom and and I feel like you know [TS]

00:59:00   what my hope was was that there would be [TS]

00:59:03   out there be a bunch of a man of [TS]

00:59:04   discernment sitting around talking about [TS]

00:59:07   the be African War are talking about a [TS]

00:59:10   the old days in Rhodesia who and uh and [TS]

00:59:14   we will be comparing like sort of like [TS]

00:59:16   the Jeep geopolitical notes and and and [TS]

00:59:21   killing techniques but I really are bein [TS]

00:59:25   way in a very bad way no one ever says [TS]

00:59:27   no one ever says [TS]

00:59:28   word kill or death there's always a you [TS]

00:59:30   for all good and and pinot and there's a [TS]

00:59:34   there's like there's an appreciation for [TS]

00:59:36   the Walther PPK it's a small gun you can [TS]

00:59:39   easy to conceal over there there's a [TS]

00:59:42   little tradecraft discussed but always [TS]

00:59:44   again in a in a way where and nothing [TS]

00:59:47   ever everything is encoded here's [TS]

00:59:50   another big difference if you want to [TS]

00:59:51   god forbid a rock-and-roll [TS]

00:59:52   bed-and-breakfast like you wouldn't want [TS]

00:59:54   to go like grab an acoustic guitar and [TS]

00:59:56   joined seven people in singing the wait [TS]

00:59:58   Jesus know now but you might [TS]

00:59:58   Jesus know now but you might [TS]

01:00:00   want to sit around and talk about people [TS]

01:00:01   and gossip about people in advance that [TS]

01:00:03   you don't like that will be fun right [TS]

01:00:05   ok that's the best so I mean I still not [TS]

01:00:07   sure you want to go stay with other [TS]

01:00:08   musicians but i'm saying his tradecraft [TS]

01:00:09   might come into it but it wouldn't be [TS]

01:00:11   that on the nose it yeah I I figured out [TS]

01:00:14   something this past week I was so [TS]

01:00:16   staying I'm staying with some friends [TS]

01:00:17   and one of them are one of them her [TS]

01:00:20   father was a an expert on the Soviet [TS]

01:00:24   Union during the Cold War II was a [TS]

01:00:27   university professor he worked at the [TS]

01:00:28   State Department he was an expert on the [TS]

01:00:30   Soviets he we traveled to the Soviet [TS]

01:00:33   Union this Kathleen's father time [TS]

01:00:36   no no it's a not captain's fault her [TS]

01:00:38   third and i think was a doctor kinda [TS]

01:00:40   gentlemen but in any case uh I i did i [TS]

01:00:45   did some I ask some probing questions [TS]

01:00:47   right away of this man who's now in an [TS]

01:00:50   elderly gentleman because I was like [TS]

01:00:52   come on who you kidding you were in that [TS]

01:00:55   you working for the State Department now [TS]

01:00:57   you're working for the State Department [TS]

01:00:58   of Moscow office like give me a break [TS]

01:01:01   he's trying to like play it off like [TS]

01:01:02   he's like a lower-level ambassador kind [TS]

01:01:04   of right now is he's playing it off like [TS]

01:01:06   he's an academic also was like therefore [TS]

01:01:09   researching come on come on come on [TS]

01:01:11   let's talk Turkey [TS]

01:01:13   like what was there what's the real [TS]

01:01:14   story and at it was it was didn't take [TS]

01:01:17   long at all to establish that no in fact [TS]

01:01:19   he was an academic he was not in [TS]

01:01:23   espionage I and I and I and I believe it [TS]

01:01:26   but that there were all kinds of people [TS]

01:01:30   working a working in what I imagine [TS]

01:01:33   we're very exciting cold war-era lines [TS]

01:01:38   of inquiry working for the government or [TS]

01:01:42   working in the being Soviet studies or [TS]

01:01:44   whatever people that I imagined would be [TS]

01:01:46   fascinating to talk to because of all [TS]

01:01:48   the special you know the special get [TS]

01:01:53   information that they would have the [TS]

01:01:55   special knowledge i guess of of the [TS]

01:01:57   world a world that was a great mystery [TS]

01:01:59   to me at the time [TS]

01:02:01   and in talking to him it was you know [TS]

01:02:03   became clear that well and 40 years ago [TS]

01:02:07   was just the same as now and most people [TS]

01:02:09   just did did some something some kind of [TS]

01:02:13   an interesting thing and their [TS]

01:02:14   perceptions of the world were were more [TS]

01:02:17   or less governed by their own prejudices [TS]

01:02:21   and it's just a job it's just a job and [TS]

01:02:24   the Soviet Union my retroactive [TS]

01:02:28   perception of the Soviet Union as this [TS]

01:02:30   gigantic like jeff koons of metal dog [TS]

01:02:38   balloon [TS]

01:02:42   ok [TS]

01:02:47   his name is not no reception is not a [TS]

01:02:49   perception shared by people who were [TS]

01:02:52   actively engaged with the [TS]

01:02:53   american-soviet intercourse in the [TS]

01:02:57   sixties and seventies and so i I'm like [TS]

01:03:00   well c'mon wasn't the Soviet Union [TS]

01:03:02   really just a big jeff koons don't [TS]

01:03:05   matter cause water little dog balloon [TS]

01:03:07   and I am greeted with in it in [TS]

01:03:10   comprehension and that's odd [TS]

01:03:13   and then the then the the older a man [TS]

01:03:16   sort of pedantically explained to me [TS]

01:03:18   that the Soviet was a legitimate threat [TS]

01:03:20   that they were a threat to democracy and [TS]

01:03:23   that this that soviet communism and [TS]

01:03:24   their military buildup were were real [TS]

01:03:27   and dangerous and I was like come on [TS]

01:03:29   but really well what's in it just wasn't [TS]

01:03:33   it wasn't just a taxidermied shark in a [TS]

01:03:37   in a in there in an aquarium of piss and [TS]

01:03:42   he says I should really get he doesn't [TS]

01:03:45   understand what I'm asking and he said [TS]

01:03:47   he says no they were did they were they [TS]

01:03:50   were the enemy and they were uh they had [TS]

01:03:54   a bad idea ology and they were backing [TS]

01:03:57   it up with with the nuclear bombs and [TS]

01:04:00   I'm like yeah I am right was it just a [TS]

01:04:04   giant nesting doll of buca's in in some [TS]

01:04:10   kind of a art museum and at that point [TS]

01:04:12   he broke down and told you the truth [TS]

01:04:14   I couldn't I couldn't get out of a gene [TS]

01:04:16   that guy's good he's been breakfast [TS]

01:04:18   material right there that's what about [TS]

01:04:20   but but but I was convinced ultimately i [TS]

01:04:23   was convinced that he was he was not [TS]

01:04:24   using tradecraft on me that in fact he [TS]

01:04:27   had no idea what I was talking about [TS]

01:04:29   wow that is so depressing and he [TS]

01:04:30   genuinely considers it to this day that [TS]

01:04:33   the Soviet Union was that the Cold War [TS]

01:04:35   was was justified in the Soviet was [TS]

01:04:38   genuinely bad they were bad guys and [TS]

01:04:42   communism was a real threat to our way [TS]

01:04:44   of life and all these all these things [TS]

01:04:46   that I guess I can't fault him for huh [TS]

01:04:49   but the these are things that you know [TS]

01:04:52   that I felt I felt pretty strongly in [TS]

01:04:55   1983 i guess but by you know by 1993 I i [TS]

01:05:02   really felt like we were we'd look [TS]

01:05:04   behind the curtain and there was the [TS]

01:05:06   Wizard especial especially in east [TS]

01:05:08   germany like we saw like how broken the [TS]

01:05:10   whole system was so long was so broken [TS]

01:05:14   and so sad and I mean that and he [TS]

01:05:15   certainly appreciates that and I think [TS]

01:05:17   anybody that worked in that time [TS]

01:05:18   understands that was broken and sad but [TS]

01:05:21   that but the idea that it was also an [TS]

01:05:23   unstoppable plague that was bringing [TS]

01:05:25   broken sadness to us if we didn't [TS]

01:05:28   counter them [TS]

01:05:30   bye-bye literally throwing f-16 at them [TS]

01:05:33   or like or pay by rattling so many [TS]

01:05:37   Sabres what I like my playing thousands [TS]

01:05:41   of high-stakes games of battleship about [TS]

01:05:43   you know maybe not even sure what those [TS]

01:05:45   planes are but they're out there trust [TS]

01:05:46   me that whole that whole game with the [TS]

01:05:48   stuff like submarines chasing each other [TS]

01:05:50   around the UH you know around the [TS]

01:05:53   abysmal deep or whatever and you're just [TS]

01:05:56   thinking [TS]

01:05:57   did we really live like that and really [TS]

01:05:59   live like that for so long and so much [TS]

01:06:01   money so much money it is it's a thing [TS]

01:06:04   that I it's a thing that gives me great [TS]

01:06:05   sympathy for a Marxist feminism likelike [TS]

01:06:10   university style nineties feminism their [TS]

01:06:15   contention that the that became a real [TS]

01:06:18   working tick he hear that that their [TS]

01:06:21   contention that that that politics and [TS]

01:06:24   though and the world of men is just a [TS]

01:06:26   this just a bunch of little boys [TS]

01:06:29   throwing marbles at each other and when [TS]

01:06:32   you when you look at the cold war with [TS]

01:06:34   it with any distance I can't escape that [TS]

01:06:38   is an accurate critique and that I at [TS]

01:06:43   this has been this has been overcoming [TS]

01:06:45   me lately my love of like military pomp [TS]

01:06:48   and circumstance and secret operations [TS]

01:06:53   is for the first time really really up [TS]

01:06:56   against this feeling that it is Baron [TS]

01:07:02   Munchausen for x-ray or worse that [TS]

01:07:06   little guy and Blade Runner with the [TS]

01:07:08   Napoleon hat and the Pinocchio nose [TS]

01:07:11   home again home again you get and that [TS]

01:07:14   that is that all of this wonderful world [TS]

01:07:18   of making war on one another is just [TS]

01:07:21   this you know this pathetic child game [TS]

01:07:27   and that this you know the the nuclear [TS]

01:07:31   holocaust under which I and you both [TS]

01:07:37   grew for group from zygote hood to [TS]

01:07:41   adulthood like the threat of this was [TS]

01:07:42   soap palpable and so and felt so fraud [TS]

01:07:47   and even though for for two decades now [TS]

01:07:51   it's been like you know thank goodness [TS]

01:07:54   that's not a thing anymore [TS]

01:07:55   it's amazing how fast it just went away [TS]

01:07:57   and and over like basically two to three [TS]

01:07:59   years that just just evaporated like [TS]

01:08:01   that was at like fought like San [TS]

01:08:03   Francisco fog on a hot afternoon he had [TS]

01:08:06   red dawn and then like within five years [TS]

01:08:08   you get you know kmf game is a dragon's [TS]

01:08:10   war and were overturned on the wall with [TS]

01:08:12   pepsi and stuff yeah [TS]

01:08:13   five years later trading your Levi's for [TS]

01:08:15   a Trabant and uh and everybody thinks [TS]

01:08:18   it's hilarious [TS]

01:08:19   yeah it can try to restore some of this [TS]

01:08:23   or i don't i'm not saying this is I'm [TS]

01:08:25   not about to try and fight the door [TS]

01:08:27   opens of your mind but but I one thing I [TS]

01:08:30   have to bring up you remember the last [TS]

01:08:31   time we talked about Paula cost how I [TS]

01:08:33   was saying it it never really song into [TS]

01:08:35   me [TS]

01:08:37   ordinarily small amount of time the the [TS]

01:08:41   the the whole like a formal process of [TS]

01:08:44   concentration camps being more than a [TS]

01:08:45   place to concentrate people in a camp [TS]

01:08:47   that it was really like three years I [TS]

01:08:49   mean they're tearing them down [TS]

01:08:50   I mean they went from like within one [TS]

01:08:52   year they went from what I'm wrong but [TS]

01:08:54   everything about a year they went from [TS]

01:08:55   like ridiculous escalation and like [TS]

01:08:58   railroads and other stuff like tearing [TS]

01:08:59   down quickly because here comes to the [TS]

01:09:01   Allies right now is for 43 44 [TS]

01:09:03   yeah exactly well watching all these [TS]

01:09:05   movies in our interregnum has shown me [TS]

01:09:08   another thing I'll be quick about this [TS]

01:09:10   but it's we watching huh you don't also [TS]

01:09:14   watch that I gotta give you the world at [TS]

01:09:15   war 2626 part documentary from 1974 [TS]

01:09:21   narrated by laurence olivier haha 26 [TS]

01:09:25   parts if you wanted two hours i think i [TS]

01:09:28   watched it on TV for you did you get a [TS]

01:09:31   logo that the big training logo great um [TS]

01:09:35   here's what i got from that I'm gonna [TS]

01:09:37   stand by what i always said as an [TS]

01:09:38   armchair 70 years too late historian [TS]

01:09:41   holy shit it every single day every [TS]

01:09:44   single goddamn day if we had gotten one [TS]

01:09:46   day earlier what a difference one day [TS]

01:09:48   would have made at so many points [TS]

01:09:50   it's amazing how much of that war went [TS]

01:09:52   on and happened happened happened over [TS]

01:09:53   so many years but is it's just a strange [TS]

01:09:56   to me that you look at like so when was [TS]

01:09:58   the the the the bombing of London was [TS]

01:10:03   like 42 while you talk about the [TS]

01:10:05   Blitzkrieg for ya about the 10 for 39 [TS]

01:10:09   well I think that worried the bombing [TS]

01:10:11   started but here's here's all I want to [TS]

01:10:13   get out is like it seems to me that the [TS]

01:10:15   amount of time like once the u.s. came [TS]

01:10:18   in [TS]

01:10:18   ah it seems like i never realized this [TS]

01:10:21   so much my feeling had always been that [TS]

01:10:23   like I think of in my head I always [TS]

01:10:26   think of World War two the American [TS]

01:10:27   interesting that being about five years [TS]

01:10:29   long when really knows kindly for years [TS]

01:10:32   but really three years we were not [TS]

01:10:33   actually that engage that much for that [TS]

01:10:37   long and it to be honest in retrospect [TS]

01:10:39   in serious serious retrospect I mean [TS]

01:10:41   this is very much armchair stuff the [TS]

01:10:43   tide turned on three different fronts [TS]

01:10:46   three different theaters like a not long [TS]

01:10:48   after we got in it did not take [TS]

01:10:51   it didn't take more than two years of us [TS]

01:10:52   begin to like really change the time [TS]

01:10:56   yeah i mean even by the time of I mean [TS]

01:10:58   this horrible few episodes band of [TS]

01:10:59   brothers you know around the project [TS]

01:11:02   Market Day card card on my god and that [TS]

01:11:07   is all the horrible stuff around the [TS]

01:11:08   battle of the bulge of Battle of the [TS]

01:11:09   Bulge was like a last gasp last cast a [TS]

01:11:11   horrible horrible like series of of just [TS]

01:11:14   awful things but that was their [TS]

01:11:15   last-ditch effort you know anyway it's [TS]

01:11:17   quite incredible to put from from like [TS]

01:11:19   basically january of 1940 22 jun of 1944 [TS]

01:11:24   think about that i mean that's it so [TS]

01:11:26   that's like what do you know how long is [TS]

01:11:28   that there's like two to two-and-a-half [TS]

01:11:29   year someone that I have mayonnaise in [TS]

01:11:31   my fridge that's older than that isn't [TS]

01:11:32   that unbelievable but the reason I want [TS]

01:11:35   your comment on that but the only thing [TS]

01:11:36   the only reason i mention all this is we [TS]

01:11:37   should talk more about Hitler but also [TS]

01:11:39   because I wonder if a first of all [TS]

01:11:42   there's the fact that even after we were [TS]

01:11:45   trouncing finally the fucking Americans [TS]

01:11:48   jumped in and provided more than like [TS]

01:11:50   you know if you text planes we had you [TS]

01:11:52   know we brought in this huge amount of [TS]

01:11:54   sea power you know to add into the mix [TS]

01:11:57   change change that the game for [TS]

01:11:59   everybody but it still took it did still [TS]

01:12:02   take those years and in 1944 some of the [TS]

01:12:05   worst fighting in the war even though we [TS]

01:12:07   those of the scales are already tip so [TS]

01:12:08   what if there's that part of it confined [TS]

01:12:11   within the fact that so when you think [TS]

01:12:13   about the soviet-era you know [TS]

01:12:15   intelligence people i wonder if there's [TS]

01:12:17   this part of them that was coming out of [TS]

01:12:20   that world war two culture of going haha [TS]

01:12:22   it may seem like we're winning but [TS]

01:12:24   believe me it was not a decisive victory [TS]

01:12:27   you know until we came in from the west [TS]

01:12:30   and the Russians came in from the east [TS]

01:12:31   and boy a lot of bodies had to fall [TS]

01:12:34   after we started quote-unquote winning [TS]

01:12:35   the only mean when a part of it was that [TS]

01:12:37   like either until that entire system was [TS]

01:12:40   broken down until there is zero chance [TS]

01:12:42   that there could be a possible strike [TS]

01:12:45   you know from the Soviet Union you don't [TS]

01:12:48   mean I bet that mentality stuck with [TS]

01:12:50   people who were brought up in that [TS]

01:12:51   period or who you know had fathers that [TS]

01:12:54   died in that war [TS]

01:12:55   yeah didn't make any sense yeah it [TS]

01:12:58   doesn't and you know I think that's why [TS]

01:12:59   we're still so fascinated by the secret [TS]

01:13:01   weapons of Adolf Hitler there was there [TS]

01:13:03   was [TS]

01:13:04   that sense that that there was the [TS]

01:13:07   doomsday device or at least the jet [TS]

01:13:10   airplane that was waiting at that party [TS]

01:13:13   one or whatever [TS]

01:13:14   well no I mean know that I mean the [TS]

01:13:16   me-262 was this was the sort of first [TS]

01:13:20   operational jet and if they had you know [TS]

01:13:24   the war lasted two more years or if they [TS]

01:13:26   brought that jet out two years earlier [TS]

01:13:28   I mean there's so many things that could [TS]

01:13:29   turn the tide particularly if Hitler had [TS]

01:13:32   if we hadn't had that great that great [TS]

01:13:35   Special Forces operation up into Norway [TS]

01:13:38   to destroy their heavy-water [TS]

01:13:39   manufacturing plant and Hitler made a [TS]

01:13:42   bomb atom bomb [TS]

01:13:45   well what's that I don't know about that [TS]

01:13:46   one was that oh this is there's there's [TS]

01:13:48   there's there's some great movies about [TS]

01:13:50   this rate i got my pencil but the era [TS]

01:13:54   you know there was a there was a a a [TS]

01:13:57   what would it be called a refinement [TS]

01:14:00   sort of plant but damn there's a there's [TS]

01:14:06   a damn involved and they were refining [TS]

01:14:08   heavy water which is necessary in order [TS]

01:14:11   to process uranium and they were [TS]

01:14:14   collecting this heavy water up at this [TS]

01:14:16   place in Norway and a special team of of [TS]

01:14:21   wintertime like Special Forces [TS]

01:14:26   paratroops were were dropped up in the [TS]

01:14:30   snow lambs and cross country skied their [TS]

01:14:34   way down to this this heavy water plant [TS]

01:14:39   and like blew it up in the middle of the [TS]

01:14:40   night effectively ending the Nazis sort [TS]

01:14:46   of like uranium enrichment project and [TS]

01:14:51   this is all part of the you know they [TS]

01:14:54   that growing awareness that like [TS]

01:14:57   whatever that letter that Einstein wrote [TS]

01:14:59   to FDR where it's like this is this this [TS]

01:15:03   bomb could be real we could make this [TS]

01:15:05   bomb and if the Nazis aren't working on [TS]

01:15:08   it then then they're crazy I mean [TS]

01:15:11   they're the Nazis are definitely working [TS]

01:15:13   on this we need to get this bomb first [TS]

01:15:16   and here's what their here's what if [TS]

01:15:19   you're looking for their bomb project [TS]

01:15:22   here's what you should be looking for [TS]

01:15:23   and you know they took it seriously and [TS]

01:15:27   they went in and stop them or whatever [TS]

01:15:31   right but you know that the the secret [TS]

01:15:33   the secret weapons thing was real and it [TS]

01:15:41   still it still gets people today [TS]

01:15:43   yeah i mean the whole idea of anything [TS]

01:15:45   about everything I street this essay on [TS]

01:15:48   the security i wrote about you know just [TS]

01:15:50   as concentric circles that come out from [TS]

01:15:51   the word terrorist and and how we can [TS]

01:15:53   excuse anything just you know starts out [TS]

01:15:56   terrorism and then it just moves out and [TS]

01:15:57   it really is a slippery slope [TS]

01:15:59   I mean you know now that you've got all [TS]

01:16:00   the same stuff what comes next to use it [TS]

01:16:02   to stop child pornographers well that [TS]

01:16:03   seems a good cause you know I mean it's [TS]

01:16:05   a minute [TS]

01:16:06   yeah and personal abuse yes he says [TS]

01:16:09   people who didn't respond to John's yelp [TS]

01:16:11   review fastest out what about people [TS]

01:16:13   that have an updated their adobe [TS]

01:16:14   software yes haha but i think i think [TS]

01:16:18   really the hardest thing for me to [TS]

01:16:19   remember the hardest thing for everybody [TS]

01:16:21   to picture is that during the 20th [TS]

01:16:24   century the idea of a fascist society [TS]

01:16:31   prove it along the lines of the one that [TS]

01:16:34   we jokingly refer to on Roderick on the [TS]

01:16:36   line or not so jokingly refer to but the [TS]

01:16:39   idea that the best way for human culture [TS]

01:16:43   to run in a in an industrial mechanized [TS]

01:16:47   era when we finally have the technology [TS]

01:16:51   to run things according to court two [TS]

01:16:54   clocks and run things as efficiently as [TS]

01:16:58   possible that that the that the notion [TS]

01:17:01   that democracy was an outdated mode of [TS]

01:17:06   thinking and a and a more primitive way [TS]

01:17:09   of of ordering human society and that [TS]

01:17:13   ultimately having one strong altruistic [TS]

01:17:18   person at the top of a system like a at [TS]

01:17:24   the top of a efficient bureaucratic [TS]

01:17:26   system was in fact [TS]

01:17:29   the next evolution and that that notion [TS]

01:17:33   which was which was which went in the [TS]

01:17:36   direction of fascism and like state [TS]

01:17:40   state communism statism um that those [TS]

01:17:45   ideas were not what we look at them now [TS]

01:17:47   and think of them as artifacts of the of [TS]

01:17:52   like sort of a twentieth-century [TS]

01:17:53   wrongheadedness but that in nineteen [TS]

01:17:57   twenty it was a convincing argument that [TS]

01:18:02   i think a lot of people a lot of people [TS]

01:18:07   could legitimately feel sympathy toward [TS]

01:18:11   like yes there should be a way that [TS]

01:18:14   these bad drivers are kept off the roads [TS]

01:18:16   yes there should be a way that we can [TS]

01:18:18   double that we can tattoo the people we [TS]

01:18:25   we would like to ostracize and those [TS]

01:18:30   those ideas seemed like a new tech like [TS]

01:18:32   a like an appropriately new evolution of [TS]

01:18:35   Technology and we were going to [TS]

01:18:37   eliminate pop I'm talking about way that [TS]

01:18:40   you human race [TS]

01:18:42   we're going to eliminate poverty we're [TS]

01:18:43   going to eliminate ultimately eliminate [TS]

01:18:46   suffering by employing technology in [TS]

01:18:49   these ways and and when I look at the [TS]

01:18:51   Cold War now i have to remember that [TS]

01:18:54   this ideological battle that seems [TS]

01:18:56   hilarious to me now that seems like that [TS]

01:19:01   seems like slim pickins writing a bomb [TS]

01:19:04   at the time it was so real to people [TS]

01:19:08   because these ideologies that the [TS]

01:19:11   Soviets were the last vestige of this [TS]

01:19:16   idea that top-down bureaucratic [TS]

01:19:20   state-ordered a government and culture [TS]

01:19:26   were you know was was actually in [TS]

01:19:31   competition with democracy [TS]

01:19:35   in in reasonable people's minds [TS]

01:19:40   there were there were all kinds of [TS]

01:19:42   American intellectuals that felt like [TS]

01:19:44   know what what what we really need is [TS]

01:19:46   his five-year five-year agriculture [TS]

01:19:50   plans and rhea re-education camps for [TS]

01:19:55   for dummies who so that's not where they [TS]

01:20:00   must know where it starts I I don't [TS]

01:20:02   think I mean we've covered this ground [TS]

01:20:04   covered this ground a lot that whole [TS]

01:20:05   idea of like well we talked about [TS]

01:20:07   universe I and instead of the [TS]

01:20:09   wheelbarrows full of money and stuff [TS]

01:20:10   like that but you know another way to [TS]

01:20:11   look at it is if you if you go somewhere [TS]

01:20:14   and gosh that gets almost perfectly ms [TS]

01:20:17   or something but you go somewhere and [TS]

01:20:19   you buy something that's supposed to be [TS]

01:20:20   beef and it's actually like you know [TS]

01:20:22   tainted ass or whatever there's no [TS]

01:20:25   regulation right go to and don't don't [TS]

01:20:28   touch me but you know what i mean if you [TS]

01:20:30   go somewhere if you let me think about [TS]

01:20:31   the idea of like something like the FDA [TS]

01:20:33   is all I'm saying like having [TS]

01:20:34   regulations about like what ok with food [TS]

01:20:37   and the fact that like you know what if [TS]

01:20:39   all the sudden somebody to somebody took [TS]

01:20:40   a little bribe and decided that a bunch [TS]

01:20:43   of the stuff would go passed inspection [TS]

01:20:44   that couldn't and because of that in [TS]

01:20:46   combination of in confidence and [TS]

01:20:48   corruption a bunch of kids die like when [TS]

01:20:51   that happens boy for sure i think most [TS]

01:20:54   of us are going to be you know jumping [TS]

01:20:55   out of our seats to say oh my god we [TS]

01:20:56   need more of that big brother or [TS]

01:20:59   whatever you want to call it you want [TS]

01:21:00   you want that to never could be could be [TS]

01:21:02   could be stuff involving kids on every [TS]

01:21:04   level [TS]

01:21:05   it's something that gets gets her dander [TS]

01:21:06   up right for really good reasons but [TS]

01:21:08   that's the thing is I don't think it i [TS]

01:21:10   really don't think it starts with let's [TS]

01:21:13   have the hook noses go get bricked into [TS]

01:21:15   this area of town [TS]

01:21:16   I think it really starts somewhere much [TS]

01:21:18   more basic I think that you can stroke [TS]

01:21:19   it with that but what I mean I think [TS]

01:21:21   that's that basic fear of of things that [TS]

01:21:24   we get a large technically no [TS]

01:21:27   technological society the things we [TS]

01:21:29   can't know or understand or trust is we [TS]

01:21:31   have to have somebody there is standing [TS]

01:21:34   between us and the bad guys and I'm not [TS]

01:21:36   trying to defend it but I think that's a [TS]

01:21:38   lot of where it starts [TS]

01:21:39   I mean don't you could be a banking [TS]

01:21:40   system it could be like you know where [TS]

01:21:42   were you can just you know take money [TS]

01:21:44   from people just by being a banker who [TS]

01:21:46   decides to walk away with this money or [TS]

01:21:48   whatever and then the public gets that [TS]

01:21:49   and that's that's you know that's red [TS]

01:21:51   meat so I'm i don't know i mean i-i [TS]

01:21:54   guess I just feel like it's the impulses [TS]

01:21:56   in almost all of us you know it's like [TS]

01:21:57   the people who the hippie that gets his [TS]

01:21:59   weed stolen and calls the cops you know [TS]

01:22:01   everybody wants a dad when it comes time [TS]

01:22:03   to get to the thing that they really [TS]

01:22:05   care about sure but but in it i think [TS]

01:22:08   what would changed what changed in our [TS]

01:22:10   in our era in the 20th century was that [TS]

01:22:14   we were finally able to account for [TS]

01:22:16   every person since the census wise [TS]

01:22:19   yeah and just like everybody has an ID [TS]

01:22:21   and a certain point like you can you [TS]

01:22:24   have the technology to ultimately line [TS]

01:22:26   everybody up and give them a number and [TS]

01:22:29   start you know start directing them [TS]

01:22:32   according to systems which even in you [TS]

01:22:38   know even in the 19th century was just a [TS]

01:22:42   you know just a distant dream when they [TS]

01:22:44   were still they were still putting they [TS]

01:22:47   were still putting gas lamps up or [TS]

01:22:49   whatever but by 19 by 1930 you could do [TS]

01:22:54   a pretty reliable count of everybody and [TS]

01:22:57   that kind of that kind of order [TS]

01:23:02   what-what-what it allow what it allows [TS]

01:23:04   the imagination to do is race ahead and [TS]

01:23:07   think like okay we've got a number on [TS]

01:23:09   everybody now we can also give them all [TS]

01:23:12   a rating like we can we can why [TS]

01:23:16   shouldn't that number also be a rating [TS]

01:23:18   from 125 million according to some [TS]

01:23:23   system of tests that we give or some [TS]

01:23:25   some system of criteria and you start [TS]

01:23:29   moving people around me one of the [TS]

01:23:30   famous things that Soviet defectors one [TS]

01:23:34   of the first impressions when they came [TS]

01:23:35   to America [TS]

01:23:37   was they would you know they would stand [TS]

01:23:39   on an overpass or whatever and watch [TS]

01:23:41   cars driving on the freeway and say like [TS]

01:23:43   who is directing we're all these people [TS]

01:23:46   go like how how are these people able to [TS]

01:23:49   just drive wherever they want what keeps [TS]

01:23:53   them at their jobs or what keeps what [TS]

01:23:57   keeps everybody from just doing whatever [TS]

01:23:59   they want and you know they're American [TS]

01:24:01   Handler would kind of chuckle haha and [TS]

01:24:04   say well it's America's freedom their [TS]

01:24:06   own self-interest keeps them and you [TS]

01:24:10   know our our Occupy Wall Street friends [TS]

01:24:13   would say that the American people were [TS]

01:24:15   chained by their changed by all these [TS]

01:24:19   invisible hands but the Soviet defectors [TS]

01:24:23   were like no in the Soviet Union you are [TS]

01:24:26   not allowed to do this you are expected [TS]

01:24:28   expected to present your card from when [TS]

01:24:31   you leave here and when you arrive there [TS]

01:24:32   and that seems that's that like you're [TS]

01:24:38   saying that is a way of controlling fear [TS]

01:24:40   and a natural one to try you know a [TS]

01:24:46   natural one to try out like well why [TS]

01:24:48   don't we get why don't we give everybody [TS]

01:24:50   an appointment every day if we can [TS]

01:24:52   why would we let everybody just run [TS]

01:24:54   around now that we have the power to [TS]

01:24:58   forbid it [TS]

01:24:59   what if we made everybody do something [TS]

01:25:02   whatever what it what if we had one guy [TS]

01:25:04   on the top what if what if Mao is the [TS]

01:25:08   one that that says everybody everybody [TS]

01:25:12   make a home iron smelter either this [TS]

01:25:16   story right yeah yeah yeah basically the [TS]

01:25:19   oven of a Weber grill [TS]

01:25:20   I nobody's eaten in weeks and then [TS]

01:25:22   you're supposed to make industrial grade [TS]

01:25:24   steel on a weber grill on your porch out [TS]

01:25:26   jessica who was did you know his car [TS]

01:25:28   would drive through the drive thru drive [TS]

01:25:30   thru the farm lands in november and he [TS]

01:25:32   would say why are there no apples on the [TS]

01:25:33   trees and you know people would like [TS]

01:25:36   people would be put in front of a firing [TS]

01:25:39   squad but why are there no apples on the [TS]

01:25:40   trees was november my lord but you know [TS]

01:25:43   what [TS]

01:25:44   what I'm saying like that we have [TS]

01:25:47   learned through hard experience that you [TS]

01:25:50   put one [TS]

01:25:50   guy on the top of a human pilot doesn't [TS]

01:25:53   turn out that way right but it doesn't [TS]

01:25:55   turn out so well but but before anybody [TS]

01:25:58   had tried it with modern technology it [TS]

01:26:02   it probably seemed like like the problem [TS]

01:26:07   of Kings had been solved the problem of [TS]

01:26:10   despots could finally be solved because [TS]

01:26:14   there would be up like a paper trail [TS]

01:26:17   that would be accountability by virtue [TS]

01:26:20   of Records and Ledger's the article [TS]

01:26:26   essentially a few months ago when you [TS]

01:26:28   were you were talking about you know [TS]

01:26:29   everybody hates bureaucracy until they [TS]

01:26:30   go to Romania and you drive into a sewer [TS]

01:26:33   right right right or you're there you go [TS]

01:26:35   you go to the you go to the office of [TS]

01:26:37   missing missing super caps and you say [TS]

01:26:40   there's a missing sewer cap and a three [TS]

01:26:42   on the sticker [TS]

01:26:43   ok that the guys just somebody's [TS]

01:26:45   brother-in-law is like that but I said [TS]

01:26:48   that article because it was a i have [TS]

01:26:49   read the book but there's a great review [TS]

01:26:51   of this book about the history of [TS]

01:26:52   bureaucracy and how bureaucracy as we [TS]

01:26:54   know it today you know is a long damn [TS]

01:26:57   slide off from where its threads started [TS]

01:26:58   out as which I guess is a what a French [TS]

01:27:00   Revolution idea of saying well we this [TS]

01:27:02   paper trail is what's going to keep [TS]

01:27:04   these people honest that that was the [TS]

01:27:06   whole idea of what we now call [TS]

01:27:07   bureaucracy not in terms of literally [TS]

01:27:09   the bureau not in terms of like having [TS]

01:27:10   the pyramid like structure of a large [TS]

01:27:13   organization but the idea of a paper [TS]

01:27:15   trail was meant to be extremely [TS]

01:27:17   Democratic it was the idea that you know [TS]

01:27:19   if everybody has to sign all of these [TS]

01:27:20   receipts [TS]

01:27:21   nobody's gonna be able to get away with [TS]

01:27:22   you get away with shit right and I am [TS]

01:27:25   unalterably am I my feeling is that [TS]

01:27:27   bureaucracy is incredibly Democratic but [TS]

01:27:29   this is the argument that we're having [TS]

01:27:31   in America now they're that the two the [TS]

01:27:34   two sides of and i think its center [TS]

01:27:36   that's an argument that's happening in [TS]

01:27:37   every democracy around the around the [TS]

01:27:38   world it's just like there are people [TS]

01:27:40   who want their that are there people who [TS]

01:27:43   want the government to be activists over [TS]

01:27:45   here and to be a lazy fair over here and [TS]

01:27:49   then their opponents feel the opposite [TS]

01:27:51   way and they everybody wants an activist [TS]

01:27:55   government somewhere [TS]

01:27:57   and then they want the government to [TS]

01:27:58   leave them alone in this other way and I [TS]

01:28:01   think that that is that's what feels [TS]

01:28:03   healthy about democracy to me right now [TS]

01:28:05   i mean i guess if i watch the cable news [TS]

01:28:07   i could put this to the test better but [TS]

01:28:09   my god is that I don't know that my god [TS]

01:28:12   is that there are people out there who [TS]

01:28:14   the people who feel most strongly about [TS]

01:28:16   the government clamping down on somebody [TS]

01:28:18   are also some of the people who are the [TS]

01:28:20   most striking about one in the [TS]

01:28:21   government to stay the fuck out of this [TS]

01:28:22   other piece of their life [TS]

01:28:24   sure enough the way it seems to me like [TS]

01:28:25   so not all those abortions but don't [TS]

01:28:27   touch my guns boy is that ever a broad [TS]

01:28:29   stereotype but that's the feeling that I [TS]

01:28:31   get is that there's like why are you why [TS]

01:28:32   are you messing around with my personal [TS]

01:28:34   freedom stuff when you should be taking [TS]

01:28:35   away personal freedoms from all these [TS]

01:28:36   people over here and see and that's [TS]

01:28:38   exactly right i mean libertarianism at [TS]

01:28:40   its core [TS]

01:28:41   I don't see how a single I don't see how [TS]

01:28:42   libertarian could be opposed to gay men [TS]

01:28:45   gay marriage in any way to perform [TS]

01:28:46   because the government should get out of [TS]

01:28:49   the business of regulating seems like a [TS]

01:28:51   and almost comically easy idea of where [TS]

01:28:54   the Rotarians would be four right it's [TS]

01:28:56   not literally hartnett one but in fact [TS]

01:28:58   you know the self-identified [TS]

01:29:00   libertarians are all you know the the [TS]

01:29:02   Venn diagram overlaps with the crowd [TS]

01:29:05   that wants to the once the government to [TS]

01:29:08   really really restrict what what people [TS]

01:29:12   are able to do in their bedrooms are or [TS]

01:29:14   what their box so it's a funny business [TS]

01:29:17   and you know it was only it was only 50 [TS]

01:29:19   years ago when most Republicans didn't [TS]

01:29:20   care what you did your Jesus in your [TS]

01:29:24   apartment so depressing isn't it wasn't [TS]

01:29:26   Democrats that were so worried about who [TS]

01:29:28   you were sleeping [TS]

01:29:28   it's so depressing that the Republicans [TS]

01:29:30   of like 19 [TS]

01:29:32   I mean in setting aside some of the net [TS]

01:29:33   jobs but by and large t know the [TS]

01:29:35   republicans of the mid-twentieth century [TS]

01:29:37   were her better Democrats the Liberals [TS]

01:29:40   of the early 21st century [TS]

01:29:42   it's true and I said well not [TS]

01:29:44   everybody's just such a nut job now I [TS]

01:29:45   mean what is such a good job such a [TS]

01:29:48   natural [TS]

01:29:51   it can tell you first of all I'm going [TS]

01:29:53   to find this about World War so such not [TS]

01:29:55   the only ones that have any fucking [TS]

01:29:59   things seem to say I want to help you [TS]

01:30:02   and I are a couple of nutjobs has not [TS]

01:30:06   just the problem [TS]

01:30:07   weren't we are fucking nut jobs we you [TS]

01:30:09   know what we are we're ranting on the [TS]

01:30:12   Internet [TS]

01:30:13   holy shit John were fucking nut jobs [TS]

01:30:15   couple of fucking nuts [TS]

01:30:17   holy shit i think we might be at jobs [TS]

01:30:19   internet nutjobs you know you know what [TS]

01:30:23   has never gotten a the-the-the-the at [TS]

01:30:27   least to me that's something i wish i [TS]

01:30:28   had known about that I didn't know about [TS]

01:30:30   my favorite episodes of that world war [TS]

01:30:32   is the project overlord like the day of [TS]

01:30:34   like the setup and what happens so sighs [TS]

01:30:36   I got into my god i got into it after I [TS]

01:30:39   watched so I got these Jags I don't know [TS]

01:30:41   why I've been in the movies lately is [TS]

01:30:42   probably my diet but I watched i watch [TS]

01:30:46   the longest day two days in a row and [TS]

01:30:48   then it's like four hours notice every [TS]

01:30:52   have you read the bridge too far [TS]

01:30:54   yes oh yes and it's rich in the river [TS]

01:30:57   kwai I did a quick calculation based on [TS]

01:30:59   DNA and if I kept my current pace of 223 [TS]

01:31:02   world war two movies a day i have not [TS]

01:31:04   been another month and a half left [TS]

01:31:06   normal for before you had watched more [TS]

01:31:08   movies than the actual length of world [TS]

01:31:09   war two seconds out [TS]

01:31:14   and that could be a stop but [TS]