Roderick on the Line

Ep. 74: "The Omnibus of Wilburforce"

 

  hello John [TS]

  I Merlin is going good [TS]

  yeah gold finger [TS]

  well yeah that just sitting here being [TS]

  Goldfinger sounds a little dirty [TS]

  in retrospect uh-huh right right [TS]

  how would how would a normal guy like me [TS]

  get to be Goldfinger huh [TS]

  there's there's no good there's no good [TS]

  option unless unless you think like [TS]

  peanut butter is gold [TS]

  I think the same way you get to Carnegie [TS]

  Hall Carnegie you can't miss practice [TS]

  isn't a del karnegi yeah Dale Dale [TS]

  Carnegie how to win friends and make it [TS]

  to my hall and I pronounced that wrong [TS]

  didn't I [TS]

  I don't know but Dale Dale Carnegie he's [TS]

  these disable hands you're pregnant [TS]

  right are different tho those are [TS]

  different kind of monkeys [TS]

  maybe the magnet he is a magnet you [TS]

  pronounce this differently magnates is [TS]

  anybody it's like putting shit I said [TS]

  magnate yeah but I'd but I i I've been [TS]

  recently I've been kind of called out on [TS]

  on my the pronunciation of the word [TS]

  dearth because i pronounce it Darth I [TS]

  always have [TS]

  there's a dark there's a Darth of [TS]

  available gals at this party and I think [TS]

  we have I think we actually have a [TS]

  program an episode of our visits call [TS]

  darth of options [TS]

  oh so we've covered this no no no no [TS]

  because I never gonna be honest I never [TS]

  used to worry about how i pronounce [TS]

  things and now i'm coming a little [TS]

  self-conscious about it if it is an [TS]

  obvious some of the some of the ways [TS]

  that you pronounce things are [TS]

  spectacular [TS]

  I have to say it's one of its one of the [TS]

  great things about you doc clitoris you [TS]

  are special pronunciations although i [TS]

  think clitoris is [TS]

  that's within the clitoris it's within [TS]

  the realm clitoris clitoris that's [TS]

  tomato tomahto [TS]

  mhm but react Carnegie Hall we should [TS]

  probably should probably start over I [TS]

  you know I think you know me I don't [TS]

  like to stress too much about these [TS]

  things but I worry that hurts my [TS]

  credibility that you that you you're [TS]

  afraid that people don't take you [TS]

  seriously because you mispronounce words [TS]

  I think there's plenty of reasons to not [TS]

  take me seriously i right [TS]

  but but you're mispronunciation of words [TS]

  is so intentional it is largely it's [TS]

  largely intentional yes [TS]

  yeah but maybe i'm just throwing those [TS]

  in the kind of pops [TS]

  hell yeah that makes sense but I mean [TS]

  you know that I i feel that being [TS]

  book-learned being self-educated that's [TS]

  book-learning it big self-educated via [TS]

  books is nothing to be ashamed of [TS]

  and when people like swoop in and set [TS]

  and enter and get all like get their [TS]

  panties riding high because you [TS]

  mispronounced something whether when [TS]

  you're using the word properly it's just [TS]

  that you learned it from a book like [TS]

  that there's no shame in that [TS]

  I think it's a huge problem now I've [TS]

  talked to up a bunch of people about [TS]

  this i got himself elected him to bring [TS]

  this up there's been a and so we can all [TS]

  this i will cut all this outfit for [TS]

  example and I don't actually want this [TS]

  avoid saying the word but there is a [TS]

  certain graphical file format that has [TS]

  for years been pronounced very different [TS]

  gift it's a gift but i think it goes [TS]

  back to the same root problem which [TS]

  today even for people as agent is as US [TS]

  but I i I'm so much of what I've learned [TS]

  in the last time resident is that work [TS]

  so much time when I was clean and the [TS]

  last so much of what I've always blamed [TS]

  quickly and made but somebody mr. [TS]

  president everything in the [TS]

  Shakespearean way o.o that chicks Betty [TS]

  and drag oh yeah like my communications [TS]

  quite TS Eliot but don't know how to say [TS]

  carnegie hall but my communications [TS]

  professor at the University of [TS]

  Washington 20 years ago said when when a [TS]

  word sat on a word the definition of the [TS]

  word is the sound of the word that's [TS]

  called on amano payee onomatopoetic [TS]

  onomatopoeia all from the Greek from the [TS]

  Greek and and you know and I course [TS]

  raise my hand was like I've heard that a [TS]

  lot as onomatopoeia and he left up on [TS]

  his desk is like exactly wrong everyone [TS]

  pronounces that word wrong it [TS]

  amana pee yeah so I've been pronouncing [TS]

  it that way for 20 years just all [TS]

  sometimes you just wanna and you know [TS]

  Bosh of this guy [TS]

  yeah let's be honest I mean our casino [TS]

  has roots in this I mean you know the [TS]

  the hair okay so here's the problem is [TS]

  that much of what i have almost finished [TS]

  reading and in the last 10 to 15 years [TS]

  has come from the internet or Internet [TS]

  as you say sir and and iĆ­ve talked [TS]

  about so many my friends of her people [TS]

  on on on podcasts saying i don't really [TS]

  know how to say this word i've read this [TS]

  word [TS]

  dozens or many cases maybe even hundreds [TS]

  of times i know so much about this topic [TS]

  but I are the persons name like I've [TS]

  been reading that reading what this [TS]

  person says for so long but this is so [TS]

  embarrassing but hit enter have you [TS]

  encountered that like you hear you read [TS]

  something over and over and then the [TS]

  first time you find yourself [TS]

  vocalizing the word you have no idea how [TS]

  to actually say it [TS]

  yeah that happens to me constantly but [TS]

  up but i feel like the most embarrassing [TS]

  example of this was when I was about ten [TS]

  years old I was with my dad somewhere [TS]

  and it was like a Rotary Club meeting it [TS]

  wasn't a restaurant or something it was [TS]

  a Rotary Club meeting where where there [TS]

  were lots of guys in bolo ties it was a [TS]

  you know important were there men around [TS]

  and I was standing there talking to my [TS]

  dad and somebody said something you're [TS]

  about he he he replied to some-some [TS]

  conversational gambits in a way that [TS]

  seemed to my ten-year-old mind you know [TS]

  the slightly dubious and I went oh pshaw [TS]

  and it was like a record was like a the [TS]

  stylus across a record like my dad said [TS]

  oh my stars and goddess [TS]

  well 1010 fully grown adult man look [TS]

  down means like a gas and my dad said [TS]

  did you just tell me to piss off [TS]

  what and I was like huh no a sha sha sha [TS]

  ppsh-41 you sure because i had been [TS]

  reading I think that's an onomatopoeia [TS]

  attic but it isn't push our [TS]

  this is the funny thing peshawar is a is [TS]

  a comic book rendering of how it's like [TS]

  reciprocity single-breasted he's a fake [TS]

  cursing it's not a word [TS]

  it's just a sound that you you you would [TS]

  only think was a word because you had [TS]

  read in comic books are in novels are [TS]

  you kidding me [TS]

  no it's not a word I thought it was like [TS]

  a Scarlett O'Hara thing i thought of [TS]

  something the ladies said when they were [TS]

  saying oh I'm discounting what you said [TS]

  no it's just a sound that it'sit's it is [TS]

  it is it is [TS]

  yeah onomatopoeia or is it is the [TS]

  expression of a sound of air escaping in [TS]

  frustration and and my dad laughed he [TS]

  laughed but it was a hard laughs and and [TS]

  he's laughing at you and he said that's [TS]

  not a word that is a you are you are you [TS]

  know he explained it to me and I mean I [TS]

  was tomato red because all these you [TS]

  know these guys 1980 in Alaska some of [TS]

  these guys had had you know killed a [TS]

  moose with their bare hands or whatever [TS]

  and they anything they are they they [TS]

  turned so fast you know they heard piss [TS]

  off from me and turned so fast it was [TS]

  like the room got ice cold and I'm [TS]

  standing there trying to explain like no [TS]

  it's like in Mad Magazine when somebody [TS]

  says you know snorkel Fras or whatever [TS]

  they're less offensive snuggle brand not [TS]

  evident not having one that's always it [TS]

  more that you were i was more that you [TS]

  were sounding insulting or or that [TS]

  you're saying something nonsensical know [TS]

  once they understood once they [TS]

  understood that it was just a case of me [TS]

  up it was you know it's an example of [TS]

  precociousness you have read more than [TS]

  you then you know you've read more than [TS]

  you can support but i do anything about [TS]

  that up against the code that first [TS]

  discussed that and they were cut they [TS]

  were you know disposed more kindly to me [TS]

  when they realized that I wasn't you [TS]

  know that I wasn't like actually saying [TS]

  piss off which was the thing I was about [TS]

  to get hit for I never I've never heard [TS]

  that but I realized then [TS]

  that there that there were tons and tons [TS]

  of words that I that I was that I was [TS]

  saying very confidently and when I [TS]

  really looked at them in books i [TS]

  realized that i had transposed the [TS]

  bowels or i have had left out a key [TS]

  syllable out like you started you seen [TS]

  it so much she started chucking it like [TS]

  incorrectly right or I had a lot of [TS]

  times i added an extra syllable two [TS]

  words just because it seems like that [TS]

  that was a much better word than the [TS]

  actual word like more levels definitely [TS]

  helps and makes you sound a little [TS]

  fancier if you can come up with a longer [TS]

  Latin aight word like for instance the [TS]

  laminate is that right yeah that's right [TS]

  the word physiognomy oh this I for a [TS]

  long time i pronounce it fizzy on me [TS]

  Oh physiognomies me and and at a certain [TS]

  point i pronounced it wrong and and then [TS]

  couldn't figure out the correct [TS]

  pronunciation and now i just i mostly [TS]

  leave it out of the conversation because [TS]

  I can't like physiognomy physio book on [TS]

  me but you may be operating at two [TS]

  high-level your vocal and I think that's [TS]

  true in writing i am I mean I really i [TS]

  finally bought our household a an actual [TS]

  big Webster's dictionary because i use [TS]

  don't you like you I used to love [TS]

  reading you know reference books [TS]

  encyclopedias encyclopedia ii [TS]

  encyclopedia like what a bia I'm gonna [TS]

  start using more to give thongs and [TS]

  ligatures that's a great guy voices EP [TS]

  but the um but but you know and again i [TS]

  will find myself looking at [TS]

  pronunciation and stuff but it's funny [TS]

  because you know I used to think you [TS]

  know if you're not a lot of people think [TS]

  it's lazy to look things up in it the [TS]

  Saurus where r well I mean if you're [TS]

  using the Stars to try to come up with a [TS]

  75-cent word [TS]

  oh I see what you mean that is that's [TS]

  like if you want to try and sound [TS]

  fancier you know I think that's why [TS]

  wouldn't you know roundly criticized [TS]

  that it's not the smartest thing to do [TS]

  but I mean you know if you read the [TS]

  actual real Roget's thesaurus which i [TS]

  think the first entry is existence [TS]

  it you know it starts you know most of [TS]

  these to the dictionary style i'm [TS]

  probably get this wrong look so stupid [TS]

  but the the dictionary style the stars [TS]

  that were used to is very closer like a [TS]

  rhyming dictionary almost you say yeah [TS]

  antonyms and synonyms for blah blah blah [TS]

  but the actual Roget's thesaurus is [TS]

  almost philosophical and sometimes yeah [TS]

  oh yeah so that you can read it you can [TS]

  read it like a I mean I for a long time [TS]

  I kept one in the bathroom and we're [TS]

  just when I was in heaven when I was in [TS]

  there for an extended period i would [TS]

  just like greeted your browser it [TS]

  because it's full of so many like [TS]

  beautiful it's like it's like on style [TS]

  or writing utensils writing l7ii forget [TS]

  that book at my peril all the time [TS]

  yeah you should leave it in the bathroom [TS]

  I i have i have a book on on the unix [TS]

  operating system and a book on writing [TS]

  next to the toilet [TS]

  yeah yeah and let's be honest and house [TS]

  mmm i was going to say the be a omnibus [TS]

  of Wilberforce or whatever will hold a [TS]

  bit what's up man [TS]

  the guy with the credit but we go sort [TS]

  of the cum out of his head there will be [TS]

  the focus sneaked whatever over horse [TS]

  oh god I I could talk about that stuff [TS]

  all not that but the the word stuff it i [TS]

  think one good reason to i mean i think [TS]

  again on the one hand this sounds [TS]

  contradictory conservatory it is that if [TS]

  you don't know if you don't you're about [TS]

  to use the word and you don't know what [TS]

  it means it paid episode already this is [TS]

  my favorite song so contradictory gonna [TS]

  cut all this out and start talking about [TS]

  the musicians they don't like in a [TS]

  minute but William but you know one good [TS]

  thing about that thesaurus is that for [TS]

  first of all you can look up a word and [TS]

  see if they're well-known a dictionary [TS]

  will tell you like where the word came [TS]

  from and so you might discover that [TS]

  there might be especially if you're [TS]

  writing something reverse you might [TS]

  discover that there is in an implication [TS]

  to the use of that word right exact not [TS]

  know exactly tone to a temperature to [TS]

  the word absolutely i mean each make [TS]

  every word count or whatever they said [TS]

  but also in thesaurus you have the [TS]

  opportunity to see is there a better [TS]

  word ideally maybe even shorter word or [TS]

  a more precise word that will let you [TS]

  remove [TS]

  the words it's incredibly boring but i [TS]

  think if you do if you get into the [TS]

  habit of doing that you not only build [TS]

  your vocabulary at the key become a [TS]

  slightly better thinker because you [TS]

  realize that there might be a better way [TS]

  to put this and that's how you as they [TS]

  say learn [TS]

  yeah well I'm as the better I mean the [TS]

  reason there are synonyms every single [TS]

  one of them my name is cinnamon is even [TS]

  maybe a misnomer every single one of [TS]

  those words has a different as a [TS]

  different temperature than it conveys in [TS]

  it and and that is that's that's encoded [TS]

  in its root and encoded in the way it's [TS]

  been used and popularized in it tonight [TS]

  when we were talking about worldwide [TS]

  words the other day didn't I mention to [TS]

  you that he contacted me are you kidding [TS]

  me [TS]

  no he wrote me a letter he was like Anna [TS]

  is the John Roderick from rob econoline [TS]

  yes I'm the man from worldwide words and [TS]

  I just wanted to say that i've got a lot [TS]

  of new subscribers from you why I just [TS]

  lost my I had a high actually move move [TS]

  to somewhere less sense out of London [TS]

  maybe I gotta do what I was always [TS]

  something brompton and Robbie I'm [TS]

  sausage shares probably when I had [TS]

  started in in a bond but anyway he was [TS]

  like he was like I got a bunch of new [TS]

  subscribers from your program and I [TS]

  wanted to thank you [TS]

  that's lovely and it was it was nice and [TS]

  that you know everybody the more [TS]

  entomologists the better you could do [TS]

  worse and you know it's it's funny it's [TS]

  like you know funny it's funny to me [TS]

  like some of those people like I really [TS]

  enjoy that Jeffrey number the guy the [TS]

  guy in fresh air [TS]

  I i love that stuff I i started [TS]

  following after you mentioned that i [TS]

  started i think of word nick is the one [TS]

  that looked at and it reminds funny [TS]

  because you're saying peshawar it [TS]

  reminds me of the kind of thing and [TS]

  cursing I think that's where i read this [TS]

  but everything was a thing about you [TS]

  know her cursing and of course i think [TS]

  was different number of the read this [TS]

  book called like you know the history of [TS]

  the word asshole and stuff like that but [TS]

  I think I apparently is an interview [TS]

  with somebody about cursing but i'm [TS]

  still Eunice you must know this but so [TS]

  many of the funny phrases like you know [TS]

  jimni cricket or cheese and crackers or [TS]

  like there's all these ways that you [TS]

  could avoid saying Jesus Christ right [TS]

  jiminy Christmas [TS]

  exactly [TS]

  but but you know they ask this person [TS]

  for example and I'm i think that's so [TS]

  interesting that you learned shot right [TS]

  but also asking what is this a [TS]

  commonality and how these things have [TS]

  changed over time and like one of the [TS]

  very few ones that's been there all [TS]

  along has been uh let's just say a [TS]

  reverence about God you know what I mean [TS]

  that's one us scatology I think the [TS]

  sexuality of people in your family comes [TS]

  up a lot in cursing right and yeah it [TS]

  still tells you something about the [TS]

  culture they like the God ones have [TS]

  become people much more permissive about [TS]

  a god damn sure where Jesus Christ or [TS]

  whatever well because gosh darn became [TS]

  so I mean there was a time when you [TS]

  legitimately said gosh darn and then it [TS]

  became so Opie that you might as well [TS]

  say god damn you see somebody putting [TS]

  their thumbs into their suspenders or [TS]

  something like that but but as a as a do [TS]

  as a devoted reader of Mad Magazine a [TS]

  throughout my whole childhood i started [TS]

  probably reading mad when I was I'm i [TS]

  have to say like five maybe [TS]

  Wow arm and read it until i read until [TS]

  really until the quality of the of mad [TS]

  decline i mean i would i would still be [TS]

  reading if it had kind of gone in the [TS]

  shitter but like Don Martin interjecting [TS]

  out the floppy feet in the onomatopoetic [TS]

  yeah yeah like his sort of like this is [TS]

  web splittin landscapes you know his [TS]

  kind of his way of of of of writing out [TS]

  sounds and and I mean is so key to his [TS]

  storytelling and I think for for many [TS]

  years I had a whole separate lexicon of [TS]

  sound effects and I find that I said I [TS]

  don't know if you do this and I and I [TS]

  don't know if like the majority of our [TS]

  listeners do too but I punctuated my day [TS]

  with audible sound effects you know like [TS]

  if I'm alone and I'm walking through my [TS]

  house it's like a paddle zap zing book [TS]

  like everything i'm doing if i push a [TS]

  button if I Turner [TS]

  if I turn a knob it's like point clink [TS]

  seen you know i'm giving and punctuating [TS]

  it with these noises because I think I i [TS]

  my my experience was so touched by by [TS]

  reading mad and I do it with my little [TS]

  girl you know i'm walking around the [TS]

  two-year-old and everything we do i just [TS]

  i add a little ! to like power machine [TS]

  and I mean she I'm she's gonna grow up [TS]

  thinking the world is a very different [TS]

  place than it actually is and it's so [TS]

  mean i have to give her something to [TS]

  hate me for now you'll come up with [TS]

  something I don't you I do it just to [TS]

  take two things and you know the thing [TS]

  is I'm so unselfish aware that if I'm [TS]

  aware of that I must do it even more [TS]

  than I think i have i have so many of [TS]

  those that long before my daughter [TS]

  became like a you know you know a handy [TS]

  way to to blame my sound effects and my [TS]

  various fully things that i do fully [TS]

  noise right yeah but there's just [TS]

  certain repeating ones no bonk would be [TS]

  a big one right that a bonk can be used [TS]

  for lots of things i do i use bonk 50 [TS]

  times at all his bunk constantly like [TS]

  you know you you're bumping like a bonk [TS]

  you know or something or the last game [TS]

  show sounds you know I get man or woman [TS]

  yr up--bam [TS]

  yeah losses for the other thing i do I [TS]

  was I mean so far there's so many [TS]

  different ways to talk to yourself for [TS]

  example like there's something I think [TS]

  when we think of somebody talking to [TS]

  themselves and it was like a spectrum on [TS]

  the one hand there's like somebody [TS]

  somebody you know I i just started a [TS]

  long time ago about about that lady at [TS]

  the library where suddenly she's having [TS]

  a very heated conversation and I turned [TS]

  around the corner you to fuck me like [TS]

  that I told her I said it and its issues [TS]

  she speaks whispering I told her this [TS]

  time to treat me like that she said and [TS]

  looked around and she was she was very [TS]

  very heatedly talking to no one at all [TS]

  right she was going to drinking that's [TS]

  it [TS]

  she was talking to Dewey Decimal that's [TS]

  that's one of the continuum but all [TS]

  along the way there's stuff like [TS]

  thinking to yourself so much that you [TS]

  might as well be talking to yourself [TS]

  there are some people who just kind of [TS]

  have this little monologue where they [TS]

  might even like moving their mouth a [TS]

  little bit while they're talking you [TS]

  know what i mean but I'm is constant [TS]

  companion is the well stroll [TS]

  I walk around the house and I go oh good [TS]

  job nicely done [TS]

  oh the well of course is this is a spill [TS]

  that will be easy to clean up Oh met you [TS]

  know at we're awarding gold ribbons [TS]

  today for its it really is that real [TS]

  that process work yeah for the guy for [TS]

  the guy who can't load the dishwasher [TS]

  and now you're really sarcastic you are [TS]

  the number one contestant you are you [TS]

  are in the fewer the finalists round and [TS]

  I'm saying all this out loud I don't do [TS]

  what anybody's around but you know it's [TS]

  it's what i do instead of listen to the [TS]

  radio that this [TS]

  listen to what whoever that other person [TS]

  is in my head just constantly berate me [TS]

  like the wickedest like the wicked [TS]

  stepmother that ever was [TS]

  wow yeah it's a blast because you know [TS]

  everyone's everything everything only [TS]

  ones well I will you know rise up and be [TS]

  like you know what [TS]

  shut the fuck up for once why don't you [TS]

  president rattlesnake on that we have we [TS]

  have such fun we laugh we could uh huh [TS]

  that's why I hate hearing that I I used [TS]

  to I used to think oh I don't talk to [TS]

  myself or another thing is it is i don't [TS]

  think it's that difficult [TS]

  I think if you're really honest with [TS]

  yourself a lot of us you would realize [TS]

  that there are various ways you talk to [TS]

  yourself that because you because you're [TS]

  not that lady you know Italian County [TS]

  Library literally talking to herself [TS]

  we're talking to someone who's not there [TS]

  because my other thing i do is i have [TS]

  little I don't know if that's the right [TS]

  phrase like traveling music i have i [TS]

  have little m and is it a little so [TS]

  there's a little song I always home that [TS]

  would put my daughter on my shoulders [TS]

  and we we sing it together no mm-hmm [TS]

  I don't know why we do it but we do or I [TS]

  might make a little hmm like that sort [TS]

  of its triumphal like horn or music that [TS]

  you would play when the King interest [TS]

  like a trumpet voluntary or something [TS]

  you know [TS]

  oh I think so but if you know what's [TS]

  funny about both of those is there so [TS]

  even the game chef stuff i think is [TS]

  based on this is so heavily based in [TS]

  comics and cartoons right if you think [TS]

  about it where you have to express and [TS]

  overexpress something in a way that can [TS]

  be conveyed to the reader or that you [TS]

  don't mean doesn't balance [TS]

  yeah so I mean I don't know I i guess in [TS]

  some ways that count as talking to [TS]

  yourself I think nobody wants to admit [TS]

  it [TS]

  yes it does seem so crazy but I mean [TS]

  what is the phrase interior monologue or [TS]

  into right you know interior dialogue or [TS]

  interior you know interior direction [TS]

  into interior parliamentary procedure I [TS]

  about the classic example of this i [TS]

  probably told you was the the woman I [TS]

  was walking past on the street on [TS]

  broadway one day and you know she's like [TS]

  a little kind of a little lady maybe 65 [TS]

  years old she had a sweatshirt on which [TS]

  she had appliqued epic Wade with like [TS]

  you know flowers and and sequins and [TS]

  colorful paint and she had very [TS]

  carefully stitched in big letters across [TS]

  the front of her sweatshirt [TS]

  don't yell at me or act right right [TS]

  right [TS]

  don't don't yell at me sweatshirt and I [TS]

  saw this woman and she was just out for [TS]

  a day by herself can standing on the [TS]

  corner of broadway and John holding her [TS]

  purse in her don't yell at me sweatshirt [TS]

  and I was like who is that message for [TS]

  like either that is either that is a [TS]

  sweatshirt that she made for her [TS]

  husband's benefit and she wears around [TS]

  the house and somehow she got out of the [TS]

  house wearing it or that's a sweatshirt [TS]

  that she made just as a general [TS]

  announcement she prefers not to be all [TS]

  that and she wants to she wants to get [TS]

  ahead of the horse cart right or or [TS]

  whether she's whether she's sending that [TS]

  message to to you know forces to the [TS]

  rest of us can't [TS]

  see your comprehend it must be working [TS]

  you know you wouldn't wear it more than [TS]

  once but here's the things through [TS]

  well yeah but I mean the UM it clearly [TS]

  it was homemade [TS]

  so so only one that looks like probably [TS]

  she made it maybe it was a gift but even [TS]

  still she's wearing it right a gift she [TS]

  might she might have a friend who season [TS]

  or something is article done there's [TS]

  also so you remember why I incorporated [TS]

  that motto in one of the very earliest [TS]

  long winters t-shirts which was based on [TS]

  the what the White Castle hamburger logo [TS]

  and the right in the center of the White [TS]

  Castle hamburger a castle [TS]

  it says in in a small letters don't yell [TS]

  at me right now that you've alienated [TS]

  enough of your friends colleagues and [TS]

  associates it i think we can also say [TS]

  that that you you would often refer if i [TS]

  remember correctly you would remember [TS]

  you would refer to the deal let your you [TS]

  called bar suit that don't yell at me [TS]

  labeled called don't yell at me music [TS]

  but right yeah they're still very very [TS]

  gentle very ultimately rock at that time [TS]

  was don't yell at me music right pleased [TS]

  that we're not going to yell please [TS]

  don't know what is that looking back at [TS]

  that what if you in fact that today what [TS]

  is what does that mean [TS]

  as you look back at it what would that [TS]

  movement represents well I mean it was [TS]

  hearing you say that at the time i would [TS]

  think of to be honest like maybe half a [TS]

  dozen bands that were amongst my [TS]

  absolute favorite bands but I knew I [TS]

  felt like I knew exactly what you meant [TS]

  when you said that but they don't not [TS]

  not to you know take this apart too much [TS]

  but you're kind of don't yell at me has [TS]

  this implication of like on the one hand [TS]

  like it's going to be gentle gentle [TS]

  music but it's also going to be maybe [TS]

  it's kind of intimate like I'm telling [TS]

  you things about myself I'm disclosing [TS]

  these these intimate things about myself [TS]

  right but it i don't know there's [TS]

  something also to there's this like [TS]

  deeper sensitivity [TS]

  I don't know what I mean I I feel like [TS]

  from 1982 1994 no matter what genre of [TS]

  music you chose to be a fan of what you [TS]

  chose to pursue [TS]

  everybody was everybody was going for [TS]

  full bombast all the time like pop music [TS]

  rock music metal music country music [TS]

  every genre was was good getting bigger [TS]

  bigger bigger bigger right punk rock [TS]

  music loud screaming how heavy rock [TS]

  music loud screaming heavy metal music [TS]

  wild screaming duran duran it wasn't [TS]

  there was there was there were no [TS]

  moments in a Duran Duran song where they [TS]

  like got real right i mean the cure-all [TS]

  for everything things in a very general [TS]

  statement but I agree [TS]

  things got more bombastic to call my [TS]

  friend Richard it's all over church but [TS]

  there's a lot of stuff that there wasn't [TS]

  much development a lot of the time it [TS]

  was on it was like all chorus like a [TS]

  huge huge huge and grunge was huge huge [TS]

  huge and by 94 [TS]

  I mean there there was the whole [TS]

  generation of musicians for whom the [TS]

  idea of making music that sounded like [TS]

  seals and cross but was radical [TS]

  revolutionary a complete like [TS]

  overturning of the old guard and that [TS]

  that conscientious like a removal of [TS]

  distortion the removal of the of not [TS]

  just yelling but even like masculine [TS]

  singing and replacing it with breathy [TS]

  acoustic quietness and quietude of [TS]

  thought I mean all the way back to like [TS]

  river like going back to Pink Moon and [TS]

  imagining that pink moon was the was the [TS]

  foundation argument of a whole movement [TS]

  that at the time didn't happen and just [TS]

  starting a pink moon as if it was [TS]

  contemporary and making music in that [TS]

  vein [TS]

  trying to exercise was 20 years of of of [TS]

  really like swingin cock music I mean [TS]

  think about David Lee Roth and and then [TS]

  elliot smith and contrast the two and [TS]

  they're both like guys in their twenties [TS]

  trying to impress the world with their [TS]

  with their inner life and it's like they [TS]

  are different species you know I mean [TS]

  David Lee Roth will never see his like [TS]

  again but I mean I'm I mean it was the [TS]

  first time i heard elliott smith it it [TS]

  it it scared me [TS]

  it was so spooky and so that that [TS]

  concept and I mean I was making records [TS]

  at the time and coming coming out of a [TS]

  whole lifetime of being raised to a or [TS]

  raising myself for being being [TS]

  indoctrinated to think that that as a [TS]

  musician I was supposed to convey sexual [TS]

  power I was supposed to convey total [TS]

  confidence and a sexual power and total [TS]

  confidence that i didn't i didn't [TS]

  personally like feel I had or understand [TS]

  and then all of a sudden as an adult I [TS]

  mean I was i I was 30 years old before [TS]

  this really became the the language of [TS]

  pop music but all of a sudden all around [TS]

  me were young guys 23-year year old guys [TS]

  who were singing in a whisper about [TS]

  their teddy bears and said you know and [TS]

  making their guitars sound as plinky and [TS]

  whisper as they could and people were [TS]

  you know like guys were playing the [TS]

  glockenspiel not as a joke but as their [TS]

  primary instrument like I play the vibes [TS]

  man that's my like a band that had like [TS]

  a dedicated an ironic accordion player [TS]

  for example right i mean American analog [TS]

  set you would go to their shows and [TS]

  you know that that that that was that [TS]

  era of of bands where you go to their [TS]

  shows in the butt and just the noise of [TS]

  the bartender working would like [TS]

  overshadow the music light low would be [TS]

  at the example that's right right where [TS]

  you where you just you're in their ear [TS]

  in the room and and so much of the [TS]

  tension of the show is this tension that [TS]

  you're carrying like please don't let [TS]

  some drunk girls start talking [TS]

  please don't let that guy next to me you [TS]

  know like if he says one more thing I'm [TS]

  going to say something to him and then [TS]

  the guy says one more thing and you're [TS]

  like oh wat if he says one more thing I [TS]

  am gonna confront him you know and [TS]

  Shh and all this kind of like energy at [TS]

  Rock Shows yeah i mean i don't i was at [TS]

  the knitting factory one time watching [TS]

  Jason Molina and his and songs ohio when [TS]

  they were in their quiet phase and a he [TS]

  was making you know super quiet music [TS]

  and i turned to some guy at the show and [TS]

  was like hey man if you want to talk [TS]

  why don't you walk around the block and [TS]

  the guy was like it's a rock show and I [TS]

  said that's clearly not it's not a rock [TS]

  show [TS]

  it's a kind that's making quiet music we [TS]

  can all hear you [TS]

  I mean how many of those conversations [TS]

  did we have and and you know at the time [TS]

  like I was I saw iron and wine their [TS]

  first time at south by southwest in a [TS]

  room full of people talking on their [TS]

  phones and he's up there like you know [TS]

  whispering into the microphone in a way [TS]

  that felt and this was my reaction to it [TS]

  at the time like this is aggressively [TS]

  quiet you are you are making quiet music [TS]

  in a room full of monsters and it is a [TS]

  it is a form of attack you know nobody's [TS]

  enjoying it [TS]

  no that relies almost subversive yeah [TS]

  you're not enjoying it [TS]

  we're not enjoying it it is as angry and [TS]

  as a and as ugly as if you were standing [TS]

  up there a fling shit at the audience [TS]

  you know it was that form of that form [TS]

  of corporate power game gamesmanship [TS]

  where you you you talk really quietly [TS]

  and it makes people lean in MH you know [TS]

  that it just felt like it felt like that [TS]

  in music [TS]

  um but among the people that were making [TS]

  it there was no there was no conscious [TS]

  or at least there was no overt [TS]

  acknowledgement that this was a power [TS]

  game or that this was a that this was an [TS]

  aesthetic choice that was born out of [TS]

  anger and frustration and desire to [TS]

  overthrow the old guard you know it was [TS]

  presented even even in the interest of [TS]

  inner sanctum [TS]

  it was presented as like no man this is [TS]

  my thing I love your thing two men this [TS]

  is just amazing is so beautiful and I'm [TS]

  standing there my David Lee Roth pants [TS]

  and I'm like oh yeah oh wow you mean my [TS]

  daughter watch the video for unchanged [TS]

  at the day we're watching videos of [TS]

  death [TS]

  turn and cook the chair any chair right [TS]

  which to her would be like if your if [TS]

  your dad played you up pics i didn't [TS]

  listen to this part listen this park [TS]

  well we were it started out arm where we [TS]

  were this video going around in the last [TS]

  week or so of this thing really detached [TS]

  looking fourteen-year-old girl playing [TS]

  eruption really really well sometimes [TS]

  you'll see the easily click on [TS]

  yeah i mean you'll see these like you [TS]

  know meet musical savant videos going [TS]

  around and was like I want to play the [TS]

  real thing and of course if you go to [TS]

  try to find any video of eruption [TS]

  first of all they're like the solo alone [TS]

  is like somewhere between like 82 45 [TS]

  minutes long it's different every time I [TS]

  had to be honest i want to say they vary [TS]

  in quality [TS]

  I guess I mean that in a kind of a [TS]

  complimentary way because he doesn't you [TS]

  know he's got his bag of tricks [TS]

  yeah certainly Edwards got the bag of [TS]

  tricks but but I mean he brings [TS]

  something it feels like he brings [TS]

  something different to it every night [TS]

  but of course in that let me go let me [TS]

  take a step back okay [TS]

  oakland 1981 are only three videos so [TS]

  good that exists of this and I'm going [TS]

  to show you what might be the greatest [TS]

  van Halen song she's five and i'm [TS]

  showing i'm making a way I'm really [TS]

  jumps off and he does the kick [TS]

  yea yea and all and you know what is the [TS]

  canonical Mike Anthony douche thing is [TS]

  he's hitting the a with just his right [TS]

  hand and important the honey his season [TS]

  open a well-appointed the audience and [TS]

  pumps Jack Daniels and but you know I [TS]

  you know but like I think about likely [TS]

  no not gonna name names but some of the [TS]

  folks on the label I mean I I you know I [TS]

  you know everybody likes to name-check [TS]

  you know Pixies which is one of my [TS]

  all-time favorite bands but you know [TS]

  partly I think because they were able to [TS]

  bring like for example I think they're [TS]

  there [TS]

  the thing of their the video of their [TS]

  two or the DVD or whatever you call it [TS]

  up there too was called now quiet loud [TS]

  which is kind of a joke about Pixies [TS]

  yeah because they they were alongside [TS]

  that he'll be any production that i [TS]

  thought was just perfect perfect match [TS]

  for them the end you know another one so [TS]

  for the same thing this ability to like [TS]

  be so like a boy you think you think [TS]

  stuff in the eighties in your face like [TS]

  welcome welcome to serious in your face [TS]

  music but then we'll just drop something [TS]

  like gigantic which could be so endemic [TS]

  but then also creepily quiet-like inside [TS]

  the same song [TS]

  yeah but i'ma quiet miss you still in [TS]

  gigantic anything in the Pixies you [TS]

  still felt anger and was very very [TS]

  unsettled and like just a simmering like [TS]

  that's something disturbing was always [TS]

  just write it on the surface or very [TS]

  near the surface [TS]

  yeah and I think that that is what makes [TS]

  elliott smith compelling but a lot of [TS]

  that a lot of that generation of indie [TS]

  rock that I came up in the Menace is not [TS]

  present [TS]

  yeah that's what I was going to say I [TS]

  mean a lot of that post-rock we stop [TS]

  post-rock you know which is such a weird [TS]

  like what does that mean post-punk oddly [TS]

  enough is very meaningful to me because [TS]

  I think there is something in common [TS]

  with being a family mission of burma or [TS]

  whatever but like what would like that [TS]

  post-rock I felt like it was a prank [TS]

  it really felt like I mean I don't mean [TS]

  this in the ne well I guess I didn't [TS]

  mean it this way it's like in in the [TS]

  emperor has no clothes just in error the [TS]

  emperor's new clothes where you have [TS]

  this sense of like its it would be [TS]

  really i would sound like such a dumbass [TS]

  to go like I just don't understand [TS]

  tortoise think all of my friends are [TS]

  named checking this one record with [TS]

  whatever this 15-minute glockenspiel [TS]

  song on it [TS]

  I don't understand it godspeed you black [TS]

  emperor i get i can actually get big [TS]

  time because it sounds like I would [TS]

  listen to that on this all right I would [TS]

  listen that on subway and honestly feel [TS]

  like everything literally an entire [TS]

  world was about to collapse a national [TS]

  stuff oh and they were great at the [TS]

  diner dynamics that's a lot of post-rock [TS]

  it was [TS]

  precious it was so you know what I mean [TS]

  like the ball yeah that was I was [TS]

  sharing the stage with a lot of those [TS]

  bands and and getting up getting a lot [TS]

  of rolled eyes at my theatrics [TS]

  I mean I told you the first time that I [TS]

  ever met Josh Rosenfeld's for in his [TS]

  capacity as a record label owner he sat [TS]

  down with me in a pizza restaurant and [TS]

  said yeah your bands not really my thing [TS]

  that was the Hurricanes that wasn't her [TS]

  again so I was like oh why are we here [TS]

  then why did we come to this restaurant [TS]

  to meet and he said I my wife really [TS]

  likes you and I was like well that's [TS]

  good that's great hope you're picking up [TS]

  the tank up he said yeah but for my [TS]

  tastes like to any distortion boxes and [TS]

  i was like i have i just have the one [TS]

  and he was like yeah like exactly one is [TS]

  too many and his band was very quirky [TS]

  yeah there but they were mean he's got [TS]

  an insulting way but it was challenging [TS]

  their music was I think pretty [TS]

  challenging in some ways my band before [TS]

  the Western State hurricanes the bun [TS]

  family players was exactly in the stuff [TS]

  in the family of this busy monster where [TS]

  every song had not just five different [TS]

  time signatures but also for different [TS]

  genres like the verses were like country [TS]

  swing and then there was a ska that it [TS]

  was you know it went into double time [TS]

  ska and then it went into three quarter [TS]

  time you know I like Paul waltz chorus [TS]

  and then hardcore thrash bridge and you [TS]

  get to the end zone and then it was [TS]

  about the song was about Bernoulli's [TS]

  principle and you get to the end and it [TS]

  was 11 minutes long and and you know the [TS]

  audience is sure two cds in the back [TS]

  yeah the audience feels like they just [TS]

  took a like a intensive summer chords it [TS]

  slow [TS]

  clap you dislike thank you thank you all [TS]

  right we were you being like [TS]

  deliberately eclectic well yeah that was [TS]

  of course that was that was our reaction [TS]

  to grunge was a grunge was so [TS]

  self-serious and along with allowing [TS]

  along with the loud bombast through the [TS]

  eighties and nineties was also trip you [TS]

  know tremendous self seriousness i mean [TS]

  as soon as ya as soon as David Lee Roth [TS]

  went away even the spandex metal dudes [TS]

  became like they forgot that they were [TS]

  that they were clowns you know the guy [TS]

  by the late eighties those guys in those [TS]

  guys at Nelson her whatever seriously [TS]

  she's actually my cherry pie literally [TS]

  like they really get they really thought [TS]

  they were legitimate artist and it's [TS]

  like hey you guys are a joke on a joke [TS]

  let me say it again because you might [TS]

  not have heard my words listen every [TS]

  Loes has a thorn [TS]

  yeah you're wearing your mom's makeup [TS]

  like you're legitimately worried you're [TS]

  probably Cruz seemed really dangerous [TS]

  they never did to me I swear to you that [TS]

  first Motley Crue records had a [TS]

  pentagram on it it did have a pentagram [TS]

  but they were wearing they were wearing [TS]

  like a roach clip whether they're here [TS]

  and having the ants makeup [TS]

  yeah and I you know an adam and the ants [TS]

  felt dangerous to me because yeah [TS]

  desperate but not serious oh yeah that [TS]

  came out of the wild frontier out and [TS]

  still is so odd it gets but I was like [TS]

  every band gets odder and odder to me [TS]

  every year he was mugging for the camera [TS]

  but he was here he was like dangerously [TS]

  bisexual seeming but also so beautiful [TS]

  that you felt like well yeah I mean if [TS]

  you get this Gracie like burundi [TS]

  drumming and drummers ya playin that [TS]

  that might create i guess i'm not sure [TS]

  exactly that means the right word that [TS]

  from put into don't but don't worry yeah [TS]

  right but it was menacing to Babu Babu [TS]

  anytime like Morocco because all and [TS]

  exactly song sounds like almost [TS]

  rockabilly in some ways so that you know [TS]

  that was like gender bender II and the [TS]

  end but you know Adam and didn't take [TS]

  himself seriously he was cloud around [TS]

  like it like like fee waybill [TS]

  the end he also understood like each [TS]

  album was I mean each record was like a [TS]

  different version of himself for the [TS]

  first like four records you know and [TS]

  yeah it was wearing makeup or whatever [TS]

  but you know the dude going from like [TS]

  like pirate guy writer like you know [TS]

  fabi prince charming like he was he was [TS]

  mad just by us he was playing to the [TS]

  last row but it was it was willfully [TS]

  theatrical but I mean I've always felt [TS]

  like so much of the stuff in popular [TS]

  music you know this whatever typical [TS]

  teenager thing but by the time i was a [TS]

  senior like everything on the charts was [TS]

  just so rough i got dammit I wish you'd [TS]

  been there we visited with some friends [TS]

  last night we should talk about this [TS]

  I was saying such complimentary things [TS]

  about Phil Collins you should've been [TS]

  there [TS]

  well I you know Phil Collins really [TS]

  stands up he stands up to the test of [TS]

  time in a way that i do not think you [TS]

  can say glenn frey does phil collins [TS]

  that stuff those games and lost our [TS]

  killer ok and i had to explain to Jason [TS]

  thin not I mean when I talk about and [TS]

  everyone everybody forgets can I say two [TS]

  words invisible touch that's what [TS]

  everybody forgets and I told him that [TS]

  the household him and scoots literally [TS]

  every sunday morning i'm in the shower [TS]

  as long as it takes to listen to turn on [TS]

  again five times great tube and we sat [TS]

  down and we sat down and looked at [TS]

  wikipedia and listen to it on our phones [TS]

  and we came up with the time signature [TS]

  is it's totally bananas [TS]

  what is the time depending on how you [TS]

  depending on how you count it i think [TS]

  it's i think it's like that it could be [TS]

  thirteen six or any way that jason has [TS]

  the girls into it but here's the thing [TS]

  is a good chance that the programming [TS]

  Jason is obviously a pro he's a pro [TS]

  drummer but these types in the sea is [TS]

  tight but this is the thing about [TS]

  drummers they're all like these pro [TS]

  timekeepers but no no they're not that [TS]

  that that they get you know they get a [TS]

  beginning their boxes just like anybody [TS]

  else [TS]

  yeah but NYC not like maybe it's nothing [TS]

  against Jason he's great but I mean I [TS]

  think he should be on our ad hoc board [TS]

  I've worked I worked up with some of the [TS]

  best drivers in the business let me tell [TS]

  you i got to tell you and a lot of them [TS]

  you know they they get the getting their [TS]

  way of playing [TS]

  and then it's very hard for them to like [TS]

  you know I'm and even the ones that are [TS]

  like I studied afro-cuban for two years [TS]

  that's really said different from guitar [TS]

  players though [TS]

  well no its success but that's the thing [TS]

  it's exactly the same but but but [TS]

  drummers you know this is their province [TS]

  this is there there one job and I bet [TS]

  there and you know i can say that like [TS]

  it's anything like I said they're so bad [TS]

  i would say it's hard to talk about [TS]

  it's hard to give a note to a drummer [TS]

  sometimes to use this your parents with [TS]

  our plane you're playing a little loud [TS]

  your back to light a fire extinguisher [TS]

  right next to my mom needed to give [TS]

  enough to the drummer I was just headed [TS]

  with the fire extinguisher person men in [TS]

  the has the shock wore off that i would [TS]

  say hey maybe like maybe like ratchet [TS]

  down the high handle that they'd be like [TS]

  but but i remember back into the two and [TS]

  it's like a big post-traumatic problem [TS]

  people want to start on a music show [TS]

  well you know what is kind of a music [TS]

  show I mean maybe it split in we could [TS]

  see it split into food handler Hitler [TS]

  music I think mental mental illness [TS]

  probably mental illness i want to talk [TS]

  more about Johnny Carson I don't think [TS]

  we talked about i would love to talk so [TS]

  much about Hitler we hardly ever talk [TS]

  about Carson now I I think he was he was [TS]

  complicit [TS]

  yeah well you know Carson was you know [TS]

  in a way the Hitler of late-night he's [TS]

  he's a very he's a very like is his [TS]

  television progeny david letterman he's [TS]

  a tough nut to crack [TS]

  it's because it breaks my heart in a way [TS]

  that David Letterman I I think he was a [TS]

  very I don't know if you you know what [TS]

  they always say you know if you're [TS]

  sitting in a bar [TS]

  it's okay to look never look lonely it's [TS]

  okay to look lonesome but never looked [TS]

  lonely I think Johnny Carson was a [TS]

  little lonesome well jackie was look [TS]

  desperately lonely i mean if you think [TS]

  about all those guys jack paar Steve [TS]

  Allen you know and Letterman to like [TS]

  none of them none of them did you feel [TS]

  like went home at night and just likes [TS]

  like sat and [TS]

  and stared at the floor in the way that [TS]

  you feel like Carson he was so beautiful [TS]

  on TV and and you just get the feeling [TS]

  from everything you know about him and [TS]

  he got in his car and he drove home and [TS]

  he went into his room and he just sat in [TS]

  a chair and stared at the floor and [TS]

  waited for sleep i right [TS]

  I'm a little bit obsessed with him right [TS]

  now did you see that as a good doctor a [TS]

  PBS documentary about him yeah i know it [TS]

  makes you it makes you it says it's like [TS]

  one of these Hitler documentaries where [TS]

  you see inside the man and you're like [TS]

  oh cheese [TS]

  oh geez if I could go back in time if I [TS]

  could go back in time and tell him not [TS]

  to invade the Soviet Union I don't think [TS]

  that would be the right thing to do [TS]

  historically because you would be [TS]

  helping Hitler i think is what wonder [TS]

  bein would say is you have to go back [TS]

  and kill hitler's father that his name [TS]

  what's his name wonder bein wonder paid [TS]

  well but wolf in charge of the stable [TS]

  voltage mitsuoka shots that's got a nice [TS]

  that though woman shots he has the [TS]

  toilet paper for eyes how well for [TS]

  Chauncey Gardiner I mean I definitely [TS]

  Hitler's dad was an asshole I think [TS]

  Johnny Carson's mother was an asshole [TS]

  no I'm gonna watch that again tonight [TS]

  yeah yeah i'm i'm i'm super down on his [TS]

  mom I feel like she's you know you he he [TS]

  you go through history and you you make [TS]

  a catalog of all the great war criminals [TS]

  and you know they're all dudes are gonna [TS]

  watch any cars in our way they're all [TS]

  they're all dudes with mustaches hot but [TS]

  but I'm shalini he's kind of ineffectual [TS]

  well yeah you're right even if somebody [TS]

  was a huge sort of a hanger-on do you [TS]

  think I well you know Nobu Cellini was [TS]

  in power a long time before Hitler or [TS]

  Stalin Mussolini was the he's like kinda [TS]

  like the he sort of like the canada of [TS]

  dictators where the trial and the [TS]

  Oakland of dictators like if he had been [TS]

  off on his own or like a Franco if you [TS]

  if you had that just that guy in [TS]

  obscurity go while the guys real asshole [TS]

  but you know next to Joe and Hitler and [TS]

  Stalin he doesn't really stand up does [TS]

  he [TS]

  but well in terms of like atrocity [TS]

  probably not but I mean look at the big [TS]

  board to you also have to have to think [TS]

  you know Italy and Spain like the [TS]

  standard until you think we should [TS]

  adjust for the size of the country small [TS]

  it doesn't seem so bad then not just the [TS]

  size I mean I [TS]

  I mean that those people are are easily [TS]

  distracted by by by a nice dinner and [TS]

  had a nice bottle of wine you know they [TS]

  get started on an atrocity and then it's [TS]

  like somebody ring the dinner bell for [TS]

  Italy your car breaks down over here we [TS]

  got any soup [TS]

  ok we'll get started on that tomorrow [TS]

  and then they forget the side it out so [TS]

  lots of mozzarella I just always when I [TS]

  was a kid I remember hearing that he had [TS]

  been he and his mistress had been hung [TS]

  up with piano wire and I never really [TS]

  track that down but it haunted me in my [TS]

  memories that he was hung up in a public [TS]

  square with piano you never see the [TS]

  pictures of service photos [TS]

  oh that's terrible it's terrible it's [TS]

  not it's not a nice thing and you know [TS]

  they did they kind of did the same thing [TS]

  to judge chesko it man and Romania [TS]

  however many years later because of [TS]

  course as you know we've talked before [TS]

  the Romanians very close to the Italians [TS]

  and a lot of ways we get us also i'm not [TS]

  always down another shot at geography I [TS]

  think we're John has John ever told you [TS]

  the story about the time that he was in [TS]

  bonita he saw with jenni carlson was [TS]

  born [TS]

  oh but i but so so so the one family [TS]

  players definitely were reaction to the [TS]

  self seriousness of wear and also of you [TS]

  know Soundgarden and away [TS]

  I mean the part of the mythology of [TS]

  seattle is that honey and a lot of the [TS]

  early crunchers were like so take the [TS]

  piss and so fun you know like that they [TS]

  were fun this was the everett true [TS]

  version money but he was so silly [TS]

  well you had a good way I can't get out [TS]

  of my face I mean that stuff was fun it [TS]

  was it it was fun but it was the kind of [TS]

  like I don't know being in the middle of [TS]

  it did not feel fun [TS]

  I don't even even before the big [TS]

  explosion [TS]

  no because it was so it was so fuck you [TS]

  that the fuck you was the fuck you was [TS]

  like a fire hose of fuck you [TS]

  it didn't feel to me like we are saying [TS]

  fuck you to them [TS]

  it felt to me like they were saying fuck [TS]

  you to everybody [TS]

  and that there's something less fun [TS]

  about that certainly not as fun as you [TS]

  imagine like being at the first red hot [TS]

  chili pepper shows you know what I mean [TS]

  like or whatever like oh yeah but yeah [TS]

  the Southern California version of [TS]

  punk-rock fun which was like what versus [TS]

  the Seattle version of punk-rock fun [TS]

  which was like I like seeing the [TS]

  Buzzcocks women had an early days or [TS]

  something would have been it would have [TS]

  been hilarious and fun at up here it was [TS]

  you know so attended to that whole we're [TS]

  losers we suck thing that at least for [TS]

  me and maybe it's maybe that it is that [TS]

  at 21 years old I was a massive downer [TS]

  and I failed to see the kind of ratty [TS]

  humor of it but but it you know it felt [TS]

  it felt real like like kind of college [TS]

  radio superior it felt it felt in all [TS]

  its funds is obviously it was a trying [TS]

  to appear unselfconscious which make [TS]

  better when in fact it was deeply [TS]

  self-conscious it's just the fact that [TS]

  was so Reverend of the Stooges you know [TS]

  just just the idea that it would that [TS]

  there was there was a kind of reference [TS]

  in its irreverence that was exclusionary [TS]

  of most like it was like it was woohoo [TS]

  but you all but also you don't get it [TS]

  everything about the Chili Peppers you [TS]

  imagine those early shows where they're [TS]

  just like four white guys playing folk [TS]

  music and we're playing it fast and the [TS]

  one guy can't sing well [TS]

  propylparaben develop apps like there's [TS]

  no there's no subtext there's barely a [TS]

  text [TS]

  it's just like let's take acid and dance [TS]

  and and with the with the grunge thing [TS]

  it was much more like what do you know [TS]

  let's let's have some cough syrup open [TS]

  and schedule a little bit and like and [TS]

  like oh if you don't if if you don't [TS]

  have the following records then you're [TS]

  not going to get what this is about and [TS]

  so it's all you're already out you're [TS]

  already outside you can't be inside it [TS]

  because of the only guys that are inside [TS]

  of the two guys that are that have [TS]

  decided like what the canonical records [TS]

  are and that was my that was my take on [TS]

  it and so a lot of those bands [TS]

  in the middle period of seattle before [TS]

  Andy came out they were we were we were [TS]

  stands mata CLE reacting to grunge [TS]

  grunge was so impressive and [TS]

  particularly the heroine elements I mean [TS]

  there's nothing less fun then you take [TS]

  all those guys and then you make them [TS]

  junkies like there's nothing less fun [TS]

  than that it's not fun at all and so you [TS]

  know the bun family players were like [TS]

  let's play every kind of music at the [TS]

  same time and we'll call ourselves the [TS]

  bun family players so no one can [TS]

  possibly like us you could not you could [TS]

  not sell a single t-shirt for a band [TS]

  called the bun family players there's [TS]

  nothing cool about it and it and and [TS]

  this busy monster was was the same like [TS]

  so uncool and of course we were hoping [TS]

  that that hyper uncoolness would be cool [TS]

  because you know following the be [TS]

  inextricable logic of park as you [TS]

  plummet into profound uncoolness you get [TS]

  closer to the source of truth and that [TS]

  isn't the case we were just deeply [TS]

  uncool [TS]

  and-and-and-and impossible to listen to [TS]

  and enjoy [TS]

  we don't want thing about staying with [TS]

  punk rock the LCD one thing you are [TS]

  wonderful and you don't need this to go [TS]

  out beyond not we are you know I think [TS]

  about the the bands that I'm that I that [TS]

  we've talked about the we both really [TS]

  enjoyed it especially ones that the eve [TS]

  mentioned as being very influential on [TS]

  your on your taste in your styling and [TS]

  you're so forth [TS]

  e I'm just a couple times you get the [TS]

  easy top ACDC the flapper no it's not [TS]

  like such a tool like a guy who puts his [TS]

  clippers artists don't don't play the [TS]

  index cards on the top ACDC no no but [TS]

  also like like Judas Priest I mean you [TS]

  know or for me i mean i I'm sorry that I [TS]

  guess they're considered work for me [TS]

  like maybe like like The Ramones or you [TS]

  know certain you know what though I mean [TS]

  what looking at all those bands have in [TS]

  common [TS]

  you could come in look certainly def [TS]

  leppard [TS]

  they're ridiculously pretentious moments [TS]

  but there's a simple is the wrong word [TS]

  maybe instead of simplicity maybe once a [TS]

  directness there's certainly a lot of [TS]

  directness with ac/dc there's that you [TS]

  know what i mean but what's X I'm saying [TS]

  is like that's a debt so all of that is [TS]

  so even when you know Rob Halford [TS]

  singing about grinder you know looking [TS]

  for me like me listening to that stuff [TS]

  there's such there's still such a [TS]

  directness to it it's why the first [TS]

  remotes record to me still it's goofy [TS]

  and stuff but those three chords or four [TS]

  chords on some songs I mean that's [TS]

  overstated you know what I mean there's [TS]

  a certain directness and it just say [TS]

  there are four chords on that record is [TS]

  to overstate it [TS]

  well I do the think that's it that's a [TS]

  minor but the but you know what all [TS]

  those have in common is that they have a [TS]

  directness and if you take out the part [TS]

  where you add this layer of outside [TS]

  earnest or you know that you choose you [TS]

  know that over time you cling to that [TS]

  outside earnest and let's not get [TS]

  started on that but I think sometimes [TS]

  people are little embarrassed to like [TS]

  things that are direct just as some [TS]

  people are embarrassed to like something [TS]

  that's a little byzantine like some [TS]

  people don't want us like last night I [TS]

  we're at a bar second part they like [TS]

  Steely bear makes up everybody likes to [TS]

  do well i mean i think about forty-nine [TS]

  percent of the population [TS]

  haha i've never had your waiter in [TS]

  training and claimed to like Steely Dan [TS]

  friend Allison a ghostie what she likes [TS]

  this again i don't know i could swear [TS]

  that she likes to lay there with my [TS]

  pronouncing it right [TS]

  however I got to go gossiping see that's [TS]

  it that's a perfect example to host you [TS]

  got thirsty [TS]

  obviously no uncle Steve you know also [TS]

  she's a she's like a she's a lobster [TS]

  Langosta honesty but but I was like a [TS]

  little bit love that ping-pong I think [TS]

  we are your family when you leave the [TS]

  fuck you [TS]

  hey your friend been okayed by said fuck [TS]

  you this petroliana i was listening to [TS]

  the first black sabbath record the other [TS]

  day not they let you know not this not [TS]

  paranoid Black Sabbath department is [TS]

  what the creepy like Hieronymus Bosch [TS]

  looking cover [TS]

  don't think enough yeah i'm looking [TS]

  about your anyway go ahead Alex's black [TS]

  SAP on it and they're there are there [TS]

  are a lot of great tracks up on there [TS]

  and but there's also there's also some [TS]

  embarrassing moments on it where you get [TS]

  the sense that Ozzy is trying to be [TS]

  scary [TS]

  yeah he understands they all understand [TS]

  that they're making a new kind of music [TS]

  and that it is scary sounding scary [TS]

  music and Ozzy is ripping in his kind of [TS]

  like oh yeah kill me down and he's like [TS]

  trying to sound like he's being tortured [TS]

  by the devil at and maybe in 1969 you'd [TS]

  hear that and end it with you know for a [TS]

  lot of people would be genuinely [TS]

  frightening but you would have to be [TS]

  about 10 years old i mean i understand [TS]

  why why Sabbath was kind of panned by [TS]

  the critics initially because we listen [TS]

  to it now it just sounds like Sabbath [TS]

  that's how that's how it's meant to [TS]

  sound and in the context of the later [TS]

  Sabbath records you get you get its [TS]

  place and you understand what he's doing [TS]

  but if you heard it [TS]

  if you heard it like for the first time [TS]

  you would say like oh it's some guys [TS]

  trying to make Halloween music or the [TS]

  head there they're trying too hard to be [TS]

  spooky and it's and it just sounds dumb [TS]

  and and yet like they are one of the [TS]

  they're one of my favorite bands [TS]

  certainly like a massive influence on me [TS]

  personally in terms of like who I [TS]

  worship in terms of my god versus the [TS]

  devil do I think fairies wear boots i [TS]

  yes i did not i haven't got a plan i [TS]

  have it on good authority but you know [TS]

  but yeah going back to that record and [TS]

  trying to listen to it trying to listen [TS]

  to that record trying to listen to [TS]

  zeppelin one with fresh ears as though [TS]

  you had not only never heard those [TS]

  records but never heard those bands [TS]

  and you're and you're a guy who's just [TS]

  like buying records in 1968 like oh [TS]

  let's check out these new bands and you [TS]

  know it's not that hard to imagine why [TS]

  music critics were like what this is [TS]

  really like we've gone too far now and [TS]

  the blues and heavy rock is being made [TS]

  for kids now this is for [TS]

  for kids now this is for [TS]

  kids and it's only later it's only [TS]

  because I guess we were kids when we [TS]

  have for her at first but also like what [TS]

  those bands became we can go back to [TS]

  those records and say like yeah that's [TS]

  tough but they're they're pretty mean [TS]

  you know not to over use the term clown [TS]

  act but you can cut in contrast to like [TS]

  how serious that how serious the Blues [TS]

  were being taken in 1966 pretty but that [TS]

  that music is pretty funny [TS]

  really i'm looking at the cover it's not [TS]

  the one I was thinking of but it's it's [TS]

  funny because it it looks like it's just [TS]

  when Norwegian black metal band that has [TS]

  the most ridiculous video I've ever seen [TS]

  in my life I've linked to numerous times [TS]

  and it's this it's this pan that's [TS]

  created their own mythology about how [TS]

  they're they're kind of like druids [TS]

  protecting a kingdom of their own design [TS]

  and is because that swing their beards [TS]

  right are they squealing [TS]

  well now it's in the video they're [TS]

  standing like need knee-deep in a check [TS]

  creek there like in brackish water with [TS]

  the guitar is not plugged in hiding [TS]

  behind piles of leaves and campaign [TS]

  through it sounds like sounds like the [TS]

  first king video [TS]

  ah community with bushes if you know [TS]

  what I mean [TS]

  anyway it is weird that like I don't [TS]

  know why I keep thinking this I think we [TS]

  talked about this before but like it's [TS]

  funny like what feels dangerous to [TS]

  people at a certain time and in [TS]

  retrospect I mean that I think we've [TS]

  talked about this too much probably but [TS]

  like judas priest and the whole like the [TS]

  lawsuit you know that they go through [TS]

  suicide do it and like when I was I mean [TS]

  I room I I everybody remembers [TS]

  backmasking everybody of our agents [TS]

  hearing about bath backmasking and you [TS]

  play records backwards and sometimes it [TS]

  was deliberate but my grandma who was [TS]

  she was not yet Pentecostal she was on [TS]

  the slide to Pentecostal but you know [TS]

  she would know by cassette tapes from TV [TS]

  ministers and she you know we share one [TS]

  with me about like what what all this [TS]

  music actually meant and it at the time [TS]

  it felt so booga-booga like in the same [TS]

  way as Dungeons and Dragons felt really [TS]

  booga-booga at the time you're going to [TS]

  my god in retrospect you [TS]

  can you imagine in retrospect and [TS]

  setting you aside someone who actually [TS]

  literally would play in the sewer like [TS]

  but for most of us but we were good we [TS]

  were sitting around with dozens of dice [TS]

  and books and like that casting spells [TS]

  yeah more like you know throwing people [TS]

  in the back of a van it was could hardly [TS]

  have been more nerdy and now I mean when [TS]

  you go back and listen to some of the [TS]

  stuff all the stuff that seems so [TS]

  dangerous like at a certain time I mean [TS]

  you can also understand like somebody [TS]

  your grandmother's generation all of a [TS]

  sudden it is the it is all the rage [TS]

  among teenagers to be practicing [TS]

  witchcraft basically you can see where [TS]

  it freaked him out i mean there isn't [TS]

  anything comparable now culturally [TS]

  except except that the internet is like [TS]

  a like a blanket [TS]

  there be dragons for old people they [TS]

  don't know what the kids are doing on [TS]

  their sending a snapchat pictures of [TS]

  their cooters to each other but but you [TS]

  think about I mean I remember walking [TS]

  home school can capture that computer [TS]

  could perhaps a goose maps [TS]

  oh my god that's our app that there's no [TS]

  a in its snps oh we just made a billion [TS]

  dollars get marco on the phone snaps [TS]

  snaps so it will set it to someone's [TS]

  face of us out the Sailor whoever lot of [TS]

  myspace and it will be aboard the [TS]

  million dollars billion dollars anyway I [TS]

  remember walking home from school during [TS]

  the dungeons and dragons hysteria [TS]

  hysteria hysterical i think that you're [TS]

  thinking out there that that's one after [TS]

  he lost the arm [TS]

  yeah person I and I i was walking home [TS]

  in the seventh grade or something like [TS]

  that and really really really focusing [TS]

  all of my psionic ability to test [TS]

  whether or not I actually did have some [TS]

  kind of magic [TS]

  oh really and what I mean I walking by [TS]

  myself it's 40 degrees below zero and [TS]

  what there's no there's no one on the [TS]

  streets not even cars because no one is [TS]

  no it's crazy enough to go out [TS]

  and I'm what you know I walked home from [TS]

  school every day and it was a couple of [TS]

  miles and on these really really cold [TS]

  days I was it was like I was in another [TS]

  world i was in another the the [TS]

  environment was so because when it's [TS]

  that cold like the air freezes kind of [TS]

  in front of you and your intentions and [TS]

  like there's there's such a it must be [TS]

  so there's something less than [TS]

  monochromatic like that right [TS]

  it's just you must be purely like like [TS]

  whiteout and so cold that you [TS]

  I mean I've been so-called sometimes I [TS]

  get confused yeah you might not exactly [TS]

  practically hallucinate right yeah and [TS]

  on this particular day I got home and my [TS]

  head and unusually my sister was home [TS]

  she was never home after school I don't [TS]

  know whether she's homesick or what it [TS]

  was but I cut I got home and my sisters [TS]

  and normally I would have been I would [TS]

  have been arriving home by myself and I [TS]

  was my extremities were numb and I was [TS]

  like completely like like you're saying [TS]

  groggy not sure what you know kind of [TS]

  confused and I was struggling to get the [TS]

  key in the lock and she opened the door [TS]

  she was like my god what are you doing [TS]

  outside and she rushes me and she put me [TS]

  in the bathtub and my sister was when I [TS]

  was 12 or something so she was nine and [TS]

  she didn't usually take control can't [TS]

  take command of of me that way to [TS]

  command of the situation she got me and [TS]

  got me address got me in a hot bath tub [TS]

  and was just like what are you crazy [TS]

  what were you doing outside and the [TS]

  reality was I was out there walking home [TS]

  pretty slowly like focusing my attention [TS]

  on making magic if I could just [TS]

  you know like it so it was a version of [TS]

  that show me a sign God if you are real [TS]

  show me a sign but I was when I was like [TS]

  conjure and orb time just conjure if you [TS]

  can just conjure one orb then that will [TS]

  be the beginning i conjure glowing orb [TS]

  and you know I'm really really working [TS]

  hard because I imagined that magic might [TS]

  be the solution to my to my girl [TS]

  problems [TS]

  it might be the solution to I think [TS]

  that's so much more common than anyone [TS]

  wants to do this to dealing with girl [TS]

  with dealing with bullies you know this [TS]

  was at the time of my life when I was [TS]

  kind of the most bullied and the most it [TS]

  was it was because i started [TS]

  kindergarten when I was four [TS]

  it's right at that puberty corner that's [TS]

  really start to notice the sixer [TS]

  yeah haven't you noticed those guys that [TS]

  are a full year older than you in the [TS]

  same grade and they're like they have [TS]

  deep voices now a man is growing [TS]

  mustaches and like ancestors and the [TS]

  head i'm out walking in the cold trying [TS]

  to conjure an orbit haha and but I [TS]

  really I mean I and you know I'm not I'm [TS]

  not a I'm not just some dumb kid get [TS]

  swept up in a fat I was like this this [TS]

  proximity to magic and to this realm of [TS]

  dice and everybody talking about magic [TS]

  like it's serious business [TS]

  and-and-and people talking about it in [TS]

  time magazine and and like adults [TS]

  concerned about kids toying with don't [TS]

  you might see like a local news thing or [TS]

  a twenty20 thing about mainly I I think [TS]

  mainly the Satanic quote-unquote aspects [TS]

  of it but all of that convinced me if [TS]

  the adults are so scared of it that [TS]

  there's some got to be something to it [TS]

  and so if and I believed about myself my [TS]

  whole life if there was anyone who was [TS]

  born with magic it had to be me [TS]

  for the love of God had to be me if [TS]

  there if there were really mutants and [TS]

  there had been some other kid at my [TS]

  school who had a legitimate mutation [TS]

  where he had laser beam shoot out of his [TS]

  eyes or a touch you and make you cold [TS]

  and have a cool white stripe in your [TS]

  bangs or control metal make make metal [TS]

  fly through the air stopped looking kind [TS]

  of father John if their work if there [TS]

  were really kids that had those skills [TS]

  and i had not been one of them I was a [TS]

  normal i would i would have argued a [TS]

  heartbroken not only what I've been our [TS]

  programmer but i would have gone to war [TS]

  against you i think everybody does this [TS]

  I think everybody's ice but I tried to [TS]

  explain dungeons and dragons to my [TS]

  daughter today we were out playing and [TS]

  that's you know whatever but like like [TS]

  it's been for the last week or so she's [TS]

  Captain America and Iron Man and then I [TS]

  told her that I if it's okay with her I [TS]

  want to make a switch because I'm kind [TS]

  of getting more into dr. strange and and [TS]

  and i was explaining why that's weird [TS]

  for me but I think I try to explain how [TS]

  the convention & Dragons this actually [TS]

  is kind of on topic weirdly in two ways [TS]

  um on the one hand I think everybody [TS]

  does like to think that they can do [TS]

  magic and I think everybody in their [TS]

  teen years whether they would ever call [TS]

  it that you might not you might call it [TS]

  that but the ability like for example [TS]

  she is convinced that she can know the [TS]

  future like she knows that she [TS]

  connection knows that things are going [TS]

  to happen she's constantly wrong but she [TS]

  you know she throws up those and [TS]

  remembers where she did predict the [TS]

  future right [TS]

  um but but like I think I've talked to [TS]

  lots of people about this whether that's [TS]

  like hypnotizing figure how to hypnotize [TS]

  girls or figuring out how to like make [TS]

  up [TS]

  can bully have diarrhea like everybody's [TS]

  it's a time when your life is so [TS]

  confused and full of like dark grey [TS]

  magic that like you might as well piss [TS]

  on a spark plug because you never know [TS]

  what might work right and you [TS]

  concentrate on so few things other than [TS]

  things that make you want to masturbate [TS]

  for example that like that's the closest [TS]

  thing to get to meditation when you're [TS]

  thirteen is getting into the spot where [TS]

  you want to produce an orb right or stop [TS]

  Tara stop thought maybe you'd always [TS]

  convinced I could do these things yeah I [TS]

  used to sit and look and i would i would [TS]

  try to I the colors of cars have a big [TS]

  bearing on my life because I would need [TS]

  to try to make decisions and see signs [TS]

  of God but I would also use it to test [TS]

  whether or not I could predict the [TS]

  future you would say the next car that [TS]

  comes around the corner is going to be [TS]

  yellow and that means that i'm gonna [TS]

  take a left instead of right and go play [TS]

  video games [TS]

  well or I will I will call her or more [TS]

  subtly she will call me right LOL VW [TS]

  that's what i'm looking for like bugs [TS]

  bug house [TS]

  punch buggy had also explained to her [TS]

  that like I don't do this John I need to [TS]

  get any to get I need to get an older [TS]

  brother not a younger child but i was [TS]

  explaining explaining classes to her and [TS]

  how like you can have different kinds of [TS]

  fighters but i think it's a expecting [TS]

  but right now I'm looking at my dad my [TS]

  dungeons and dragons dice I'm pulling [TS]

  them out i right feeling so much more [TS]

  drawn between adventure time and dr. [TS]

  strange like I've been feeling more and [TS]

  more drawn back into it and I'm thinking [TS]

  what feel like we need to get wilwheaton [TS]

  on this podcast that's not going to [TS]

  happen with liquor there i'm gonna i'm [TS]

  gonna roll you're gonna conjure fallen [TS]

  storm if you're not careful [TS]

  o.o save vs permanent opportunity i [TS]

  forgot that i have a have a green [TS]

  20-sided die in addition to my almighty [TS]

  i predicted that I knew that I knew that [TS]

  but I feel like it's funny that like I [TS]

  like I've been reading this thing called [TS]

  Infinity Gauntlet which is like just [TS]

  full of like crystals and magic and [TS]

  Doctor Strange making the freehand thing [TS]

  and like it but it would and here's the [TS]

  funny thing like when we played the most [TS]

  boneheaded Ramones version of D&D that [TS]

  you could play there's so much we didn't [TS]

  do we didn't do psionics varieties [TS]

  didn't follow turns so sure we played [TS]

  we just didn't know if he was really [TS]

  roll for anything other than damage know [TS]

  like nobody wanted to be a cleric God [TS]

  nobody wanted to be an illusionist who [TS]

  wanted to be a cleric it was it was a [TS]

  universal joke like nobody was fern [TS]

  imagine those demons that were actually [TS]

  rolling to determine what their [TS]

  characters did next like characters and [TS]

  do the ghost with a kind of game game [TS]

  playing p.m. or something like that [TS]

  where that we're term we should be like [TS]

  like being God and Joe but the same time [TS]

  yeah instead of being a DM was like well [TS]

  the the ghosts put on a crown of mind [TS]

  they turn your bones to jelly not [TS]

  putting it [TS]

  here's the beauty part is you can also [TS]

  play by yourself [TS]

  yeah right it has the DVD version of [TS]

  talking to yourself you could you could [TS]

  make your own Dutch intention you like [TS]

  some people check themselves right [TS]

  yes I mean I take on a percentage of a [TS]

  role for that uh yeah well there was a [TS]

  there was what was the most recent 1i [TS]

  see a movie where they are the bad guys [TS]

  playing chess with himself [TS]

  oh I think I got to tell you I mean I [TS]

  think if you're looking to be some kind [TS]

  of a Bond villain chest figure heavily I [TS]

  don't think I don't think nice people [TS]

  choose to play chess I think they're [TS]

  challenged to chest chest to me is one [TS]

  of those things that's it you know what [TS]

  I mean they're called to it like the [TS]

  ministry to meet chess is like wearing a [TS]

  narrow jacket you know it's one of those [TS]

  things like like you're a Bond villain [TS]

  like if you have your own Island [TS]

  ordinary jacket or like a stroke at [TS]

  certainly these are great indicators [TS]

  yeah you're probably up on villain I [TS]

  really wanted to be a chess kid you know [TS]

  just be a high IQ kid in a chip in the [TS]

  chest kids like me and I hi cute kid you [TS]

  get to wear a big hat to wear dark [TS]

  turtle interviewed yeah right yeah i [TS]

  mean you can you can have like crazy Bob [TS]

  Dylan Einstein hair and everybody's like [TS]

  you know that it's it's like it's like [TS]

  having magic here the chest kid like you [TS]

  doing at your hand with grownups [TS]

  yeah exactly you are immune to the to [TS]

  the of the vagaries of childhood you can [TS]

  go right two grown-up status and skip [TS]

  all the in between but the chest was [TS]

  just like [TS]

  I've never won a game of chess in my [TS]

  entire life all that thinking ahead and [TS]

  then thinking ahead ahead and then you [TS]

  still get your ass handed to you by just [TS]

  like just a random 30 year old who's not [TS]

  even trying [TS]

  you're like fuck I don't have this i [TS]

  don't have this gift okay now this gets [TS]

  back to magic like there are some people [TS]

  who think like being able to come up [TS]

  with a witty remark seems like magic [TS]

  there are some people who think being [TS]

  able to play drums and not be stupid is [TS]

  magic and and like to me it was anything [TS]

  but I but to me like seeing people who [TS]

  not only understand and remember the [TS]

  rules of chess but but can I can do it [TS]

  completely boggles my mind they might as [TS]

  well be teleporting to me [TS]

  did you know what I mean it's in the [TS]

  same way that somebody like if you've [TS]

  seen one of those videos of pablo [TS]

  picasso even way after his prime drawing [TS]

  or painting and just watch him make a [TS]

  few lines turn into something even if [TS]

  it's shitty Picasso it's still like [TS]

  mind-blowing that's how I feel like [TS]

  watching people play chess [TS]

  I don't understand how they you have to [TS]

  have a different brain to do that [TS]

  yeah yeah that was not the way that was [TS]

  not the way for us to escape childhood [TS]

  and in fact neither of us did we had to [TS]

  endure every painful moment of it [TS]

  here's the other thing and think about [TS]

  when I'm sorry we haven't talked about [TS]

  Johnny Carson [TS]

  but but but if you think about like all [TS]

  the other like the bugbears if you like [TS]

  right of the nineteen seventies and [TS]

  eighties and you look at stuff like dnd [TS]

  ok like heavy asthmatic kids with dice [TS]

  you look at motley crue I mean like 5th [TS]

  generation glam with you know temporary [TS]

  tattoo Satanism right you look at all [TS]

  that stuff and then think about who the [TS]

  real fucking maniacs are a guy who's in [TS]

  the rotary club club that dresses up [TS]

  like a clown John Wayne Gacy did not [TS]

  have pentagrams no he did not [TS]

  and he did not you know what I'm saying [TS]

  you think about it until you see these [TS]

  guys in the dusters where pancake makeup [TS]

  and going whoohoo spooky but it's the [TS]

  it's the it's the analogy of these angle [TS]

  here we go [TS]

  set your watch by it yes the finality or [TS]

  but Nala tosh.0 special is a horse [TS]

  that's alive that right like more drama [TS]

  we leavin leaving from leaves leandro [TS]

  leavin leaving around [TS]

  yeah uh I do not I don't you know i'm [TS]

  saying is the title about one that's all [TS]

  that great now you're not gonna [TS]

  acknowledge it [TS]

  are you allowed to talk about horse [TS]

  vessel in Germany today sure okay but [TS]

  you can't sell stuff on ebay you [TS]

  couldn't sell the horse vessel out 45 or [TS]

  something [TS]

  well you know I don't know what those [TS]

  rules are I think you can talk about [TS]

  Nazism it's all they talked about him in [TS]

  der Spiegel but a but you just can't [TS]

  talk admiringly about it i think you [TS]

  could probably that's subtle [TS]

  yeah it is i think you could probably [TS]

  sell that stuff if you were selling it [TS]

  if you were selling it to a museum of [TS]

  its long and not yet sir its educational [TS]

  or cultural and not for its previous [TS]

  value right right [TS]

  I bit but but again i don't know i don't [TS]

  know all i don't know all of that I mean [TS]

  I was thinking today was thinking today [TS]

  Berlin that maybe maybe what I'm gonna [TS]

  do [TS]

  here's my plan it's a little bit water [TS]

  what is this one of your new thought [TS]

  technologies [TS]

  this is a new thought technology what if [TS]

  i get an old at all oil tanker [TS]

  I could like I'm talk about a ship a [TS]

  giant ship and i construct an arena on [TS]

  it on the unopened arena that seats [TS]

  let's say 15,000 people on the deck of a [TS]

  giant oil tanker then I park it in [TS]

  international waters and I hold [TS]

  tournaments where teams representing [TS]

  various religions stick fight to the [TS]

  death and we as we know it's a it's a [TS]

  it's a secular night none it's a [TS]

  non-secular neighborhood stick fight [TS]

  that's right [TS]

  so for instance like market parking [TS]

  somewhere and then the first question I [TS]

  had was our their international waters [TS]

  in the Mediterranean or is the [TS]

  Mediterranean so small that all of this [TS]

  there's a little lot of stick fighting [TS]

  Catholics there I've got a guess [TS]

  well so that's what i'm saying so we [TS]

  probably in between you got the Arabians [TS]

  you like the papist it's a party itself [TS]

  partnerships somewhere off of Crete and [TS]

  you say okay you know because the [TS]

  internet is international you don't have [TS]

  to go on any national television [TS]

  he just say on the Internet ok we are [TS]

  accepting applications for teams from [TS]

  Palestine Israel Lebanon uh you know [TS]

  Orthodox Greece it's almost like the [TS]

  opposite of the Olympics it's not to [TS]

  create Brotherhood is to settle old [TS]

  scores [TS]

  that's right shuttle settle old scores [TS]

  and there are no restrictions like put [TS]

  together a team of five you can you can [TS]

  make it all of the bat the best mixed [TS]

  martial artists in your country or like [TS]

  all of the most ruthless like criminals [TS]

  or whatever there's did there no [TS]

  limitations and we're just gonna settle [TS]

  we're just going to settle some stuff [TS]

  I'm not saying that any we're not [TS]

  actually like we're not settling [TS]

  anything not resolving anything forever [TS]

  cuz he's completing an annual event you [TS]

  have to advertise the purchase of the [TS]

  ship yet we're not settling anything in [TS]

  law right we're just culturally settling [TS]

  grievances like let's get let's get the [TS]

  Palestinian [TS]

  team Israeli to hear the Irish you get [TS]

  the right but you couldn't keep the [TS]

  Irish away to look at fight the fight [TS]

  everybody but everyone mad about [TS]

  everything [TS]

  the Norwegians you know this course will [TS]

  you take a little bit into that you [TS]

  start to wonder those those countries [TS]

  that that got smacked on to Germany the [TS]

  pre-world War One tribes you bring them [TS]

  out and get the captain to bring their [TS]

  their regional check sticks that's right [TS]

  here's the thing everybody in the [TS]

  listeners thinking how are you gonna [TS]

  make money off of this if it's only five [TS]

  people no because they're going to bring [TS]

  their fans they can be wearing their [TS]

  scarves from Palestine or manual united [TS]

  or whatever we're simulcasting this [TS]

  around the world pay-per-view because [TS]

  the internet that's right because the [TS]

  internet there's 50 and you put we [TS]

  probably designed and a half [TS]

  you know I that day you can watch it on [TS]

  your phone or on your other your beer [TS]

  market looking for projects and so and [TS]

  what I'm saying is then you come out and [TS]

  your uniform is just your feet you're [TS]

  all wearing t-shirts with the emblem of [TS]

  your religion on the shirt so you get [TS]

  you either get a you get us the star of [TS]

  David's against the crescent moons and [TS]

  you get the you know the the Catholic [TS]

  cross versus the Orthodox cross and you [TS]

  know everybody is just out there like [TS]

  you know exactly what who the teams are [TS]

  and they're just they're just stick [TS]

  fighting the shit out of each other on [TS]

  this on this water world and supertanker [TS]

  em simulcasting around the world and [TS]

  this is not something where we're going [TS]

  to sit and have some it's about a border [TS]

  dispute that's been going on for mm 45 [TS]

  years [TS]

  no no it's a fight that should be [TS]

  hitting people the fucking stick and i'm [TS]

  guessing that over time that the the [TS]

  most militant people of every culture [TS]

  the people who are most agitating for [TS]

  violence in their respective cultures [TS]

  would gradually not if not immediately [TS]

  they would immediately you would see [TS]

  that this was just a that this was just [TS]

  a publicity or that this was just some [TS]

  some like gross [TS]

  pulling a sensationalistic way for John [TS]

  yeah super trying to make a buck right [TS]

  it's just a sensationalistic American [TS]

  supertrain based you know probably like [TS]

  fake problem solver [TS]

  but over time if we kept at it gradually [TS]

  the most militant parts of every culture [TS]

  would start directing their energy [TS]

  toward fight boat you stop spinning as [TS]

  you said John with you bring [TS]

  neighborhood stick fights back we're [TS]

  gonna spend less time at the mall buying [TS]

  football jerseys and work it's going to [TS]

  be it's going to be somewhere between [TS]

  like The Hunger Games Logan's Run and [TS]

  either of the two world wars [TS]

  yeah there's but I mean but it's going [TS]

  to be it's going to be something with an [TS]

  end right i mean for that year for me [TS]

  for that season if you turn but it's [TS]

  contained on the boat and the bend to [TS]

  what the winter with every tanker [TS]

  seasons there will be a rolling season [TS]

  how would that work well because it's a [TS]

  boat we can go we can go [TS]

  you know like in the mo the northern [TS]

  winter we can go down to the poplin [TS]

  islands we can go over to let me think [TS]

  about all the different stick fight Yugi [TS]

  solution i could see some Protestant [TS]

  signing on for a pretty long cruise just [TS]

  a while their cocks fight just going [TS]

  around the Gulf of Mexico and just just [TS]

  the just people in their Alabama [TS]

  tuscaloosa missing backers la mexicana [TS]

  all just just parked off the coast of [TS]

  Galveston and people would be settling [TS]

  Texas grievances for an entire year [TS]

  oh my god John this did it extends on so [TS]

  many levels and plus everybody likes [TS]

  cruises right so you can get on there [TS]

  and this could kill other thing is I i [TS]

  almost wish you'd seen that hunger games [TS]

  movie because it it's kind of similar [TS]

  like we're basically you get people from [TS]

  all of these as they say districts and [TS]

  they come in and they're compelled to [TS]

  fight each other to death but I think in [TS]

  this case like a sacrifice situation [TS]

  right where is it is it is it is a [TS]

  dystopia unlike super training in this [TS]

  case maybe it's something like that [TS]

  maybe you might get some better food but [TS]

  you're definitely get a boat right out [TS]

  of it and somebody's gonna get their ass [TS]

  kicked and this is all completely [TS]

  voluntary because what we're trying to [TS]

  do is attract the people who have this [TS]

  in their blood who want to settle their [TS]

  grievances this way we're giving them a [TS]

  venue for the score settlers for servers [TS]

  and think about all the guys from [TS]

  Finland not to mention the people of [TS]

  central [TS]

  germany who traditionally when for other [TS]

  people's battles i mean i would now that [TS]

  that's a good question could we should [TS]

  there be ringers I don't know how long [TS]

  the Civil War you could you could have a [TS]

  go fight for you [TS]

  yeah I don't think I don't think you [TS]

  should I think you should think there [TS]

  could be like a test of faith in [TS]

  addition like congratulation people's [TS]

  noses or something like that would fix [TS]

  up you take a look at their you have [TS]

  been charms [TS]

  um it would be open to whatever you [TS]

  would have them wear clothing that's [TS]

  tight fitting enough to see if the women [TS]

  or the men have been circumsized right [TS]

  you just so you know we stand + let's be [TS]

  honest it has a sexual component to it [TS]

  that I think people would really enjoy [TS]

  oh hello t-shirts with the religious [TS]

  emblems yes had no pants finish [TS]