The Incomparable

183: How I Sold Your Mother


  the Intolerable number 183 february2014 [TS]

  there is unrest in the incomparable [TS]

  panel the host of the show has declared [TS]

  his intention to make them watch the [TS]

  Star Wars prequels a separatist movement [TS]

  under the leadership of the mysterious [TS]

  count siracusa has insisted that it's [TS]

  quite difficult to watch the prequels in [TS]

  one sitting [TS]

  understanding that watching the prequels [TS]

  is a critical issue the host of the [TS]

  incomparable has enlisted an army of [TS]

  panelists to watch star wars episode to [TS]

  attack of the clones those panelists are [TS]

  Dan Morgan Monty Ashley John siracusa [TS]

  serenity Caldwell and Steve lights [TS]

  okay i want to i want to paint a little [TS]

  word picture for you guys because I i [TS]

  want to take you back to when I met my [TS]

  wife and the thing that made her fall in [TS]

  love with me as i said to her you know I [TS]

  don't like this and hear everything soft [TS]

  didn't smooth it unlike me what a line [TS]

  what what that is like one of the [TS]

  greatest lines ever you have to couple [TS]

  it with a caress Jason that's the goal i [TS]

  did i did at the time and amazing is it [TS]

  totally works that is the just the [TS]

  greatest line in the history of rome and [TS]

  I don't want to see all all the women in [TS]

  the audience there swinging by that [TS]

  point nurses I know when he would say [TS]

  the soft like you and like I expected [TS]

  her to shrink from his touch and order [TS]

  ice cream and away but no she's like [TS]

  this is such a turn-on [TS]

  ok let's ask let's ask our our our our [TS]

  expert RR woman panelist serenity [TS]

  what are your feelings about sand if you [TS]

  don't you don't like saying I don't [TS]

  think she likes it [TS]

  oh yeah get seven noahide god I can't [TS]

  even like I but here tonight to now [TS]

  along those lines are being well it's [TS]

  the boom like I can't even form coherent [TS]

  sentences about this because not only is [TS]

  it pair you know the dialogue is not [TS]

  fantastic especially we have this [TS]

  beautiful landscape right in this [TS]

  beautiful villa wonderful Italian [TS]

  landscape etruscan art [TS]

  and then you have this horrible dialogue [TS]

  then you have this horrible dialogue [TS]

  while Anakin's hand is ever so subtly [TS]

  first sneaking up your hand and then [TS]

  suddenly fighting itself on your back [TS]

  and like us [TS]

  I mean you look at Natalie Portman's [TS]

  face and it is stone-cold that's the [TS]

  kind of face you put on when someone's [TS]

  come up to you and they're super drunk [TS]

  and they look like they're you know that [TS]

  you can't really fight them but you're [TS]

  not really it's it's a coiled snake [TS]

  shields up expression yeah exactly [TS]

  shields up when he goes in for the kiss [TS]

  he's pauses and enjoy your face and her [TS]

  Facebook doesn't move and then they hold [TS]

  on that throw he liked the second really [TS]

  creepy you Sherlock he's magnificent [TS]

  that's the best theory the trick [TS]

  this is not the bit where they actually [TS]

  kiss is it and this happens a little bit [TS]

  later nothing [TS]

  well according to my I think this point [TS]

  I'm I know like those are witnesses when [TS]

  they kiss oh yeah he's doing make this [TS]

  kiss but this is the no we can't do this [TS]

  well this is this is what this [TS]

  particular scene out [TS]

  yeah is is monty python level hilarious [TS]

  because who as they're kissing there's [TS]

  this huge swell of dramatic music and [TS]

  then she breaks away and says no and it [TS]

  just cut short [TS]

  it is totally like something out of life [TS]

  of brian damn John Williams for making [TS]

  such nice music to go you know [TS]

  incredibly terrible movie yes because [TS]

  the music is ground stand on it but it's [TS]

  fine like it has a star wars feel but [TS]

  kind of an old-timey classic feel and [TS]

  look like that music is in this movie I [TS]

  just kills me [TS]

  uh-huh yeah thnkx jobs like he's in your [TS]

  very soul tormenting you [TS]

  oh ok like if you had to make a parody [TS]

  of this like you're trying to like scary [TS]

  movie like we're gonna make the lines [TS]

  sound really dumb and dorky because like [TS]

  say this movie came out and the love [TS]

  scene lines were kind of embarrassing [TS]

  and stilted you can make a parody of it [TS]

  I don't think you comparative these [TS]

  lines there's no way you can make them [TS]

  more stilted less believable less creepy [TS]

  and it's a move the acting can you get a [TS]

  parody actor to make a creepy leering [TS]

  half-smile that's any worse than the one [TS]

  hand can make this entire movie I don't [TS]

  think you can we really haven't talked [TS]

  much about Hayden Christensen is general [TS]

  acting capability but i think it might [TS]

  be [TS]

  might be wise to discuss that little bit [TS]

  it's hard to tell when this is your [TS]

  major barometer he's good at acting [TS]

  creepy as it as an actor I think Hayden [TS]

  Christensen acquits Jake Lloyd quite [TS]

  well at least take Lloyd had a [TS]

  personality [TS]

  yeah no no a Hayden has exactly two [TS]

  facial expressions [TS]

  he's got a sexual predator and he's got [TS]

  severely constipated any alternate [TS]

  between them just completely at random [TS]

  it's like he's throwing a dying inside [TS]

  his head and all its its spark time I'll [TS]

  by all accounts he's good and shattered [TS]

  glass but he's playing a creep in that [TS]

  ok so maybe you may have been typecast [TS]

  yeah and he seems to have only ever read [TS]

  about how actual humans talk all that [TS]

  could be the directors fault [TS]

  yeah i mean if you only saw these other [TS]

  actors in this movie I don't think you [TS]

  would give them much credence e I mean [TS]

  like Ewan McGregor natalie portman [TS]

  samuel l jackson samuel l jackson Samuel [TS]

  actually blocking terribleness me as a [TS]

  slave he loved Star Wars was really [TS]

  excited to be in the movie talked [TS]

  himself into a bigger part and yet even [TS]

  he my favorite scene is him coming into [TS]

  the 22 Yoda when like yoda sensing [TS]

  Anakin pain becomes any system or couch [TS]

  thing any like a sneeze like so what's [TS]

  up in the showdown are we sitting on [TS]

  pillows now it's important for me to be [TS]

  in the scene for some reason because i [TS]

  have a purple lightsaber so here I am [TS]

  let's talk exposition which like to join [TS]

  The Avengers that's alright i think we [TS]

  did we skip over the douche commercial [TS]

  because my wife really want to just [TS]

  please be more specific [TS]

  they want the one where there in front [TS]

  of the waterfalls and the giant the [TS]

  giant million tix there is such a [TS]

  beautiful scene they decide to put [TS]

  horse-sized tell us sooner seen here's [TS]

  the oh I have the way we listen to [TS]

  Annika's political theory which has to [TS]

  which essentially is where he's [TS]

  endorsing the campaign about Vladimir [TS]

  Putin I think if we need a strong leader [TS]

  here really deep political thought from [TS]

  Anakin Skywalker which the point the [TS]

  woman who grew up doing all of the model [TS]

  um stuff on Naboo and became the Queen [TS]

  and all might want to call him on his BS [TS]

  there but apparently she's just so in [TS]

  love with him and adorable this stupid [TS]

  thing she's like okay whatever and then [TS]

  what does he do for his encore he rides [TS]

  a pig cow and falls off of it [TS]

  in my notes that's referenced as the [TS]

  capering oh god the capering and have we [TS]

  not learned that having people jump on [TS]

  top of cg things he wants to see person [TS]

  like I'm thinking like a loss jumping on [TS]

  the the cave troll and fellowship where [TS]

  was computerized loss is just something [TS]

  super super super duper fake about [TS]

  having a human computer otherwise jump [TS]

  onto a creature like it never looks like [TS]

  they're connected to the thing they're [TS]

  jumping onto their kind of like it's [TS]

  like a video game where they don't have [TS]

  good collision detection you're kind of [TS]

  on top of the creature could say the [TS]

  same thing about Anakin and padmé [TS]

  oh it's like I don't understand why that [TS]

  was in that seem like they need to show [TS]

  them rolling around on the grass and [TS]

  falling in love and they're going again [TS]

  you know exactly what the scene is [TS]

  supposed to be besides a summers eve [TS]

  commercial and it fails it fails to make [TS]

  you think they're falling in love fails [TS]

  to convince you that is any reason that [TS]

  that a any human should ever love either [TS]

  one of these people and be that they [TS]

  would love each other [TS]

  I was going to point out that if if [TS]

  she's trying to dissuade Anakin for [TS]

  mooning after her lounging about in the [TS]

  firelight and her leather corset seems [TS]

  like kind of a bad idea [TS]

  yeah I know so I've got my bondage [TS]

  outfit on let's talk about how we can't [TS]

  be together let's talk about politics [TS]

  makes signals so tell me more about your [TS]

  political theories I want to hear more [TS]

  about that down not cool not cool [TS]

  that's right and goes I'm in agony I'm [TS]

  like it's just blue balls dude [TS]

  oh it's not like it's like series of [TS]

  events if that's his line because he's [TS]

  only 18 and you can have gone through it [TS]

  look it is up until this point it's been [TS]

  all gundarr pits and obi-wan so blue [TS]

  balls might be a kind of new experience [TS]

  for it but like seriously like if you're [TS]

  going to read his characters anywhere [TS]

  realistic these creepy he's leering and [TS]

  he's super duper horny because he's been [TS]

  living a life of the jedi and I hit the [TS]

  people who play off of him don't make [TS]

  any sense they don't react to him the [TS]

  way anyone would react to this character [TS]

  but he is the consistent character is [TS]

  just a terrible character that's just [TS]

  the other people in the movie are seeing [TS]

  a different character maybe two [TS]

  timelines that are mixed like the city [TS]

  in the city it's it's a lot worse its [TS]

  space blue Paul's those are both of our [TS]

  base blue balls no one can hear you [TS]

  should use the power of the force to do [TS]

  something about that could be all yeah [TS]

  it is that I think this is the best line [TS]

  entire movie in this scene he says [TS]

  believe me I wish that I could just wish [TS]

  away my feelings [TS]

  can you read my notes this right place i [TS]

  wish that i could just wish away my [TS]

  feelings but I can't I can't wear that [TS]

  can wish away my feelings for wish away [TS]

  the my 10 he's got wish it wishes in a [TS]

  sense twice i wish that i could wish [TS]

  away like who's letting that through [TS]

  sorry master Anakin you've used to [TS]

  wishes [TS]

  oh I just need to use the Jedi pants [TS]

  trick [TS]

  what alright let's move on to god this [TS]

  is I i fell into the pit of despair here [TS]

  because it's really because we will get [TS]

  some inner coming back and forth at this [TS]

  point we've got just a tot conversations [TS]

  between again the guy who can't play [TS]

  along [TS]

  obi-wan Kenobi and boba fett there's a [TS]

  something right out of a James Bond [TS]

  movie which is like hello I am here to [TS]

  meet you [TS]

  I don't know what you're talking about i [TS]

  have you been to corazon maybe has it [TS]

  been recently I don't know [TS]

  hey I'm just a simple man trying to make [TS]

  my way in the universe that's a great [TS]

  line son close that door that has my [TS]

  evil poison dart armor in it wink [TS]

  your clones are very impressive you must [TS]

  be proud incidentally that is a far [TS]

  better pickup line then I don't like Sam [TS]

  well I don't know the same line kind of [TS]

  worked this is all I'm saying and it [TS]

  gets everywhere I really do feel like [TS]

  there's a so when everyone makes his [TS]

  phone call from camino his hologram [TS]

  phone call in the rain [TS]

  I love that he's standing in the rain it [TS]

  why is he standing in the rain making [TS]

  all getting this ship and make the call [TS]

  it just be wet for no reason it's just [TS]

  miserable go back in the hallway and [TS]

  call we only have an external hologram [TS]

  speakerphone on this ship it does not [TS]

  come with an internal speaker phone that [TS]

  is on the new model he could not afford [TS]

  the new model the communication [TS]

  technology is very bad in this world [TS]

  especially considering dead i can sense [TS]

  murder half a galaxy away but not [TS]

  centipedes an extra or pain they have a [TS]

  hard time can relate this call through [TS]

  through through Anakin in camino and [TS]

  it's cold and he's standing up so i [TS]

  think to get a better signal he's [TS]

  outside to get some extra bar on his [TS]

  hologram phone outside the he uses the [TS]

  the vegetable strainer to get a better [TS]

  signal pops out of his ship [TS]

  it's like a bamboo steamer or something [TS]

  I there is a nice moment where Yoda [TS]

  brings up um mace windu short because [TS]

  doesn't doesn't he say something like we [TS]

  need to tell the Senate that we don't [TS]

  know what the hell the Jedi are doing [TS]

  our abilities are to diminish now we [TS]

  need to let them know this no we should [TS]

  keep that to ourselves why would you [TS]

  reveal your weakness there no we can't [TS]

  do that also is this the first that [TS]

  we've heard it where like at the [TS]

  midpoint through this trilogy now and [TS]

  it's like whoa what what's going on with [TS]

  the Jedi always seemed fine to me [TS]

  we've lost our ability to use the forest [TS]

  or something we've become dumb [TS]

  yeah for some reason the script is [TS]

  making us dumber sure we let the council [TS]

  note there are no your apprentice is the [TS]

  one who is prophecy to return competence [TS]

  to the force [TS]

  so a mechanism is it supposed to stay [TS]

  he's been given strict orders to stay on [TS]

  Naboo and protect Emma dollar but he has [TS]

  a dream that he needs to go to Tatooine [TS]

  and find his model but that's a great [TS]

  scene that dream scene where they show [TS]

  him and the cover is going to no no this [TS]

  is the dream scene i'm a shake back and [TS]

  forth kind of but and innocent and the [TS]

  scene ends he doesn't wake up it doesn't [TS]

  have a revelation we don't see his dream [TS]

  that's the entire scene [TS]

  yeah it was cheap though had a [TS]

  premonition that his mother who has been [TS]

  a slave for his entire life [TS]

  you're right be having a bad time this [TS]

  Jedi Academy is apparently so strictly [TS]

  that can I go home to visit my mother [TS]

  was just like no never called her on the [TS]

  hologram phone now can't talk to her [TS]

  can't see her you have to leave her as a [TS]

  slave [TS]

  right right you can't you can't like hey [TS]

  I'm a Jedi now maybe I could go back and [TS]

  like maker not a slave sorry we don't [TS]

  get reception on Tatooine so we can't go [TS]

  back from one of those border disputes [TS]

  and just stopped by Tatooine and see how [TS]

  your mind-slave is doing is the prime [TS]

  directive of the prequels no interfering [TS]

  with the culture of your own actual [TS]

  credit where your mother lives [TS]

  can we just stop by it's on the way to [TS]

  Khorasan no no sorry no can go there so [TS]

  he plays hooky he's playspace hooky and [TS]

  goes there [TS]

  meanwhile we got a fight on Kamino [TS]

  between Boba Fett and sorry with django [TS]

  fit this is the boba fett fight we never [TS]

  got to really see the really great like [TS]

  where he also said the right gate from [TS]

  think this is a great scene because no i [TS]

  don't think i don't i'm thinkin that's [TS]

  the point of the scene right that point [TS]

  of the scene is finally a [TS]

  knock-down-drag-out between Boba Fett or [TS]

  ok Jango Fett and a Jedi finally we [TS]

  didn't get this in the original trilogy [TS]

  but here we're going to lay it all out [TS]

  for you in this scene there's a moment [TS]

  when Django is attached to obi-wan by a [TS]

  string of some sort [TS]

  yes in general he flies off the ledge [TS]

  and only one practically look straight [TS]

  into the camera and says oh not good [TS]

  before he gets yanked it it's cartoon [TS]

  writing that's my favorite line in the [TS]

  whole movie what are you talking about a [TS]

  not good at talking about i hate it i'm [TS]

  impressed with the fact that that that [TS]

  obi-wan falls off that ledge well tied [TS]

  up at the wrist somehow managing to just [TS]

  drink either of those risks or break [TS]

  them on the tensile metal cable he stops [TS]

  us out with a string whatever it would [TS]

  have cut through his hands like dental [TS]

  floss is like a nanowire practically [TS]

  that he saved himself with know that [TS]

  neither me neither one of these [TS]

  supposedly amazingly competent warriors [TS]

  comes off looking powerful or smart and [TS]

  despite seems it's the rain [TS]

  very sloppy lots of lots of unforced [TS]

  errors and very bad strategy and I [TS]

  kungfu kicks boba fett has a good idea [TS]

  to shoot him with the ship that's a [TS]

  reasonable good idea for the kiddies [TS]

  only one who looks like he has a little [TS]

  bit of initiative but there are [TS]

  strategies for fighting each other [TS]

  terrible especially since Jedi powers [TS]

  wax and wane throughout this entire [TS]

  prequel series of like you know well you [TS]

  could just use your force to you know [TS]

  check them off into the ocean fishing [TS]

  around water [TS]

  yeah but now I think what we'll we'll [TS]

  have just the cuffs instead well you [TS]

  have to you have to disable his [TS]

  lightsaber to write in the first two [TS]

  seconds of the fight or else it ends up [TS]

  very you know uninteresting very quickly [TS]

  that's really easy to do because those [TS]

  guys do not hold onto their lightsabers [TS]

  at all and of course they always forget [TS]

  that they can use the Force to pick them [TS]

  back up [TS]

  yeah he doesn't later on but not here [TS]

  it's you know it's raining his force [TS]

  powers don't work as well in the rain [TS]

  and high moisture in the air density [TS]

  sure that explains why somebody from a [TS]

  desert planet has high midi-chlorians [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  as all i have to say it as the django OB [TS]

  fight continues once they get into space [TS]

  I think got a little bit more [TS]

  interesting because i remember liking [TS]

  and the first time i saw that i liked it [TS]

  again when Django's ship is chasing him [TS]

  it fires constantly at the like and [TS]

  that's exactly what you would expect [TS]

  like when you're playing a star wars [TS]

  video game you don't just fire like [TS]

  blast blast blast blast you just hit the [TS]

  fire button like crazy so it makes sense [TS]

  that the bounty hunter ship would make [TS]

  modified to just shoot lasers like crazy [TS]

  and as he's chasing obi-wan [TS]

  he's not just firing once and noble [TS]

  dodge and fire was just constant firing [TS]

  and I thought that was an appropriate [TS]

  appropriate armament for the for the [TS]

  ship it made it looks like obi-wan's in [TS]

  some amount of danger and it made jangle [TS]

  that looks like a actual competent [TS]

  bounty hunter and made it made obi-wan [TS]

  look skills for his camping i kinda like [TS]

  the seismic bombs in the Astro yeah like [TS]

  I don't like the sound effect like an [TS]

  advert that is that is fine it's doing [TS]

  some really cool work there but I mean [TS]

  it also kinda feels like a rehash of [TS]

  empire right like with the finest right [TS]

  through it is but like when I came to [TS]

  these scenes in the movie that look like [TS]

  they were all this is a chase scene i'm [TS]

  like oh thank god she's seen that makes [TS]

  some kind of narrative sense right guys [TS]

  chased that guy and he's gonna try to [TS]

  kill him and he's gonna leave when he [TS]

  thinks he's dead and the guys clever for [TS]

  making him think he's dead and it makes [TS]

  sense the asteroid scene is another of [TS]

  those things that makes me think this [TS]

  movie is just composed of things from [TS]

  previous movies but Lucas has no idea [TS]

  what people liked and didn't like right [TS]

  so they'll say here's an exciting scene [TS]

  with a bar a bunch of aliens us like [TS]

  that [TS]

  oh here's biru you guys like Peru right [TS]

  we change the color of the Milky bill [TS]

  round now not blue it's blue later we [TS]

  get a blue make later [TS]

  yeah I always liked fixing things the [TS]

  whole point of having Jango Fett be the [TS]

  father of the clones is because Lucas [TS]

  couldn't figure out another way to put [TS]

  boba fett in the movie so he just put [TS]

  his dad in its still both at the same [TS]

  time I mean boba fett still in the movie [TS]

  he's just like seven [TS]

  yeah you do you love when we have kids [TS]

  version of electrical connectors that [TS]

  it's cookie baby Papas you said you [TS]

  liked boba fett this character is called [TS]

  boba fett you like this character [TS]

  come on guys by the way the word seismic [TS]

  pertaining to or caused by an earth [TS]

  lake or vibration of the earth yeah it's [TS]

  an asteroid if you're gonna be like that [TS]

  we shouldn't hear the sound at all but [TS]

  they explode in the air not the air [TS]

  space maybe it's a brand name like [TS]

  cleaning in the lack of air they explode [TS]

  in the lack of air still not hurt yeah [TS]

  they still said they sound kinda cool [TS]

  it's like I get somebody with a really [TS]

  big guitar I mean it [TS]

  yeah in our string it's a cool scene if [TS]

  you slow down for a second you'll notice [TS]

  things like will be one saying seismic [TS]

  bombs hang on he's talking to something [TS]

  that's literally bolted to the ship [TS]

  yeah that's it speaking of things [TS]

  speaking of things that are like from [TS]

  other movies that he thought would be a [TS]

  good idea this is a theme and all of [TS]

  episode 2 and was my strongest [TS]

  impression upon first thing the movie in [TS]

  the theater is that Lucas splits the [TS]

  party and he does that an empire as well [TS]

  like you have some main characters you [TS]

  try to establish their relationships to [TS]

  each other in the beginning of the movie [TS]

  and fails in this movie and then you [TS]

  split them apart but boy what a [TS]

  difference when you split off like Luke [TS]

  had to go to yoga he had an actual [TS]

  mission is doing stuff and and han and [TS]

  Leia are having their relationship while [TS]

  they run from the Empire and everything [TS]

  here you send obi-wan off with our for [TS]

  no offense to r4 but there is no shared [TS]

  history between obi-wan and r4r far is [TS]

  boring r4 is no one that you would ever [TS]

  want to see or talk to an obi-wan is [TS]

  forced to spend the majority of the [TS]

  middle of this movie saying a name [TS]

  things to our for who we don't care [TS]

  about who has no relationship with and I [TS]

  feel so bad for him you integrator [TS]

  spending the middle part of this movie [TS]

  talking to inanimate lump of metal that [TS]

  personality they even reuse the sound [TS]

  effects for the droid for the are for [TS]

  those are side effects that were used in [TS]

  the original like they were in stuff [TS]

  that was cut out of the original movies [TS]

  well again we got these on tape [TS]

  somewhere just import those will just [TS]

  use those it's cool when we don't have [TS]

  to add another actor that's what I feel [TS]

  like is that is the low point in this [TS]

  movie and that's really saying something [TS]

  is when he's on Geonosis and he's [TS]

  sitting there in cg like Grand Canyon [TS]

  thing talking to our fours redhead [TS]

  yeah I'm so I feel so bad i was going to [TS]

  say that are four is more animal than [TS]

  any of the other characters in the moon [TS]

  more are for time to take a break to [TS]

  talk about a sponsor and I'm gonna make [TS]

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  available on for example you [TS]

  may be thinking yes i can learn about [TS]

  the mac or i can learn about the the [TS]

  iphone i can learn about using adobe [TS]

  creative suite or microsoft office [TS]

  this is all true they have courses about [TS]

  almost every popular piece of software [TS]

  that you can think of theirs development [TS]

  course work for HTML Javascript iOS [TS]

  development and mean you name it they [TS]

  have those courses they've also got [TS]

  stuff like photography and screenwriting [TS]

  and I want to talk about screenwriting [TS]

  just for a little bit I what what why [TS]

  would I talk about that during an [TS]

  episode about the Star Wars prequels I [TS]

  don't know maybe George Lucas could use [TS]

  a trial subscription to [TS]

  they've got green writing courses i'm [TS]

  just looking here at what they've got [TS]

  that video script writing screenwriting [TS]

  fundamentals i think that one George [TS]

  might want to look at so you know [TS]

  getting started with screenwriting [TS]

  screenwriting fundamentals just one [TS]

  example [TS]

  George of a great course you could take [TS]

  on and of course i'm also busy [TS]

  improving some of my audio recording [TS]

  technology by reading their stuff about [TS]

  logic pro and fundamentals of audio [TS]

  editing so I am learning to and you can [TS]

  learn to so here's what you want to do [TS]

  you want to go to / [TS]

  incomparable that's right little [TS]

  consolation comfortable you start a free [TS]

  trial you access the entire library for [TS]

  free during the trial it's not a it's [TS]

  not a trial where you get the first part [TS]

  of every course and then you have to pay [TS]

  to see the rest of it your free trial [TS]

  covers everything that you can possibly [TS]

  watching and when she's right [TS]

  you're gonna love it [TS]

  so here's where you go ly ND [TS] slash and comparable to start your [TS]

  free trial lym [TS] / uncomfortable high [TS]

  quality video courses on your tablet on [TS]

  your phone on your computer from the [TS]

  experts and George Lucas if you're out [TS]

  there [TS] / icomparable screen writing [TS]

  courses check it out [TS]

  we should talk speaking of rehashing [TS]

  things for previous movies we go to back [TS]

  to Tatooine and we get to see Mos Eisley [TS]

  spaceport we get to see wat Oh again hey [TS]

  hey everybody it's an EIU back we [TS]

  everybody wanted to see only hey it's my [TS]

  own slave [TS]

  it's a you might wanna know right Lou [TS]

  and it's better she still looks like a [TS]

  harem girl even though she's trying to [TS]

  look at spicuous that's kind of stupid i [TS]

  used to own you remember and yeah number [TS]

  the way we use the whip you [TS]

  that's awesome too I sold your mother [TS]

  that's not a problem visit ok go kill [TS]

  someone else I'll give you her number [TS]

  you could haha oh this is a sitcom [TS]

  opportunity how I sold your mother [TS]

  oh my god [TS]

  uh so and we find out we we go and we we [TS]

  meet her husband and his what his son [TS]

  and his girlfriend I guess you [TS]

  hey again like you said you like Peru [TS]

  and Owen right right to get a line also [TS]

  in the in the underused a great [TS]

  australian actors both joel edgerton who [TS]

  plays Owen and Rose Byrne who plays [TS]

  padme's hand been right what's going on [TS]

  to way better three beds [TS]

  this is where also we learn i think for [TS]

  the first time that Anakin's mother's [TS]

  name is shmee meet me and I wrote down [TS]

  one note in this entire sequence and [TS]

  it's just this gets me things we do to [TS]

  get through [TS]

  I think it's really weird that Anakin [TS]

  wants to go kill the sand people but has [TS]

  nothing against the guy who bought and [TS]

  then married his mother that's creepy [TS]

  yes what kind of it's like it's like a [TS]

  tattoo in mail order whitewater says he [TS]

  freed her but after buying her people [TS]

  even bought her career unless you buyer [TS]

  come on [TS]

  yeah i got to assume that it was oh I [TS]

  fall in love with you you're such a [TS]

  wonderful woman [TS]

  I'm ready to free you from this horrible [TS]

  lifestyle it just had to be done all [TS]

  were married getting the kitchen he [TS]

  can't write that I'm bond you to put the [TS]

  blue in the milk and to fix the moisture [TS]

  vaporators but it turns out i love you [TS]

  can't you see it i love you so here [TS]

  so what's the the sandpeople are another [TS]

  uncomfortable thing here because in [TS]

  episode 1 and a little bit and I guess [TS]

  in New Hope like they're kind of like [TS]

  comic gold people of the sand I look at [TS]

  them taking potshots at the at the pod [TS]

  racers and there they try to scare [TS]

  people with their noises but then [TS]

  obi-wan comes out and scares and but [TS]

  here I their guests they're kidnapping [TS]

  humans from from the civilized part of [TS]

  tatooine to keep them as what sex slaves [TS]

  I don't know what they were like why [TS]

  would they want her why would they keep [TS]

  her alive donator and change she was [TS]

  chained up there for like a like a month [TS]

  or something and like you know what were [TS]

  they doing with her during that time it [TS]

  doesn't [TS]

  yeah I had that same thought night [TS]

  stifled it quickly it reads like a bad [TS]

  western right like in like a simplistic [TS]

  view of like oh you know are nice wife [TS]

  fucks kidnapped right like it's it's [TS]

  weird and uncomfortable this [TS]

  uncomfortable parallel there that seems [TS]

  very simplistic and bizarre like little [TS]

  bit let's just reduce these people to [TS]

  savages basically but to what end like [TS]

  they don't want to go all the way and [TS]

  say they've taken her as a sex slave but [TS]

  they decided like animals down like [TS]

  animals [TS]

  it's so it because this movie like dips [TS]

  towards the darkness but it's shied away [TS]

  a lot of times and I think the other [TS]

  part of it is it's sort of what we saw [TS]

  with the clones and the droids which is [TS]

  yeah you want this to be a dark thing [TS]

  with Anakin killing these people but you [TS]

  also don't want them to people like the [TS]

  audience to feel too bad because you [TS]

  still need to view this guy as the main [TS]

  character [TS]

  yeah those were like you know people [TS]

  with like faces that you could see you [TS]

  would have a really hard time coming [TS]

  back for that but they need to somehow [TS]

  soften that and their answers [TS]

  let's just make them aliens also she [TS]

  dies as soon she dies as soon as he [TS]

  finds her credit cause of death the [TS]

  screen or not not quite as soon she has [TS]

  a chance to say I i love [TS]

  ah who she loved we never find out who [TS]

  she loves it's just a mystery a mystery [TS]

  of this movie she loves lies [TS]

  let's be fair heats up pizza I love [TS]

  being on [TS]

  should we don't you even saying this is [TS]

  the irony of it she was gonna say i love [TS]

  sand that I said I've never understood [TS]

  your disliking of said i love is like [TS]

  the most emotion free mother-son death [TS]

  scene ever recorded in moving moving [TS]

  pictures like because we don't we don't [TS]

  we haven't seen her the whole movie we [TS]

  don't and I guess you kind of by his [TS]

  love for his mother but if you love me [TS]

  so much why don't you visit before an [TS]

  explanation for that she's like I'm just [TS]

  I'm just glad you're here I don't care [TS]

  that you've never visited me and I'm [TS]

  glad it makes no sense we haven't seen [TS]

  the whole movie and she was just a [TS]

  nonentity in the first movie too [TS]

  I didn't understand his whole line about [TS]

  how they were animals and i slaughtered [TS]

  them like animals [TS]

  I mean okay it's that's how it lines up [TS]

  if they're animals and slaughtered them [TS]

  like animals [TS]

  what you're talking about what you'd [TS]

  like to slaughter my animals more like [TS]

  vegetables just what I do it's portable [TS]

  food processor press the button [TS]

  Paul study it is that moment that gets [TS]

  you questioning Padme zone rationales [TS]

  right because she goes and she sleeps [TS]

  with him after this book right she's [TS]

  such a turn-on like he's not even a [TS]

  plausible bad boy who you killed women [TS]

  and children i'm getting all hot what [TS]

  are you talking about like something the [TS]

  turn I mean it's like okay I guess if [TS]

  you do some bad things and you put [TS]

  indifferently she says like oh they [TS]

  killed your mother right now it's like [TS]

  what like a baby you know people killed [TS]

  my mother and then like I went and [TS]

  killed not only the people responsible [TS]

  but like the women and the children and [TS]

  their double ability around the you know [TS]

  I like to think somebody might you know [TS]

  disturb interpret that as a warning [TS]

  sorry she's very understanding she's [TS]

  like Matt seems reasonable in pad Mays [TS]

  defense she does take this opportunity [TS]

  to other the most self-aware line in the [TS]

  entire film which is sometimes there are [TS]

  things no one can fix so so true but [TS]

  things make more sense when when he can [TS]

  fix them [TS]

  speaking of lines with those subtext [TS]

  that that scene i'm good at fixing [TS]

  things up but she's read the script [TS]

  apparently well he said he also says [TS]

  that scene I wasn't sure I wasn't strong [TS]

  enough to save you mom not demonstrated [TS]

  what do you mean you aren't strong [TS]

  enough [TS]

  what you just strength to visit her [TS]

  strength like there was no scene in [TS]

  which your strength was tested and [TS]

  wholesale that's what he's going to [TS]

  become the most powerful Jedi in the [TS]

  world and someday he will even be able [TS]

  to stop people from dying right but like [TS]

  tells it up for [TS]

  you what more do you want I think you [TS]

  caused her death by showing up because [TS]

  once you shut up scriptures and now she [TS]

  asked by such an anti-climax what a [TS]

  weird choice to have her be here and [TS]

  have her be already be taken and then [TS]

  she dies when he finds her but they have [TS]

  a moment it just seems like such a [TS]

  strange everything's always because he [TS]

  didn't want to die until she saw her [TS]

  first yeah yeah yeah and she died of a [TS]

  broken heart and then what he has this [TS]

  the great writing of 22 really expresses [TS]

  catharsis and emotion at her grave he [TS]

  says I miss you so much [TS]

  that's right good job George good job [TS]

  almost as much as I did for the last 10 [TS]

  years and then he steals his alldroid [TS]

  this is all very exciting but I want to [TS]

  cut across the universe deep inside the [TS]

  mysterious planet Geonosis where we've [TS]

  just barely escaped with our lives [TS]

  us being apparently obi-wan Kenobi and [TS]

  that boring droid and deep down inside [TS]

  the plane has landed in a in a strange [TS]

  location and and entered sneakily using [TS]

  his Jedi powers and whatever he listens [TS]

  and what does he hear hears that guy [TS]

  from the Trade Federation talking about [TS]

  treaties the Trade Federation guys her a [TS]

  damning strong crazy and he's looking up [TS]

  with plus plus Saruman the white from [TS]

  Lord of the Rings which is very excited [TS]

  love that well but how does he get in [TS]

  does he sneaked in he kind of walked [TS]

  quietly I guess he basically just walks [TS]

  in like he uses the same cutting that [TS]

  your sister uses to eavesdrop on you [TS]

  that's basically it's actually the same [TS]

  cutting that uh that when when he does [TS]

  his call and Annika and forget Anakin [TS]

  and padmé to come and get him to [TS]

  because he needs a ride and um and by [TS]

  the way immigrants like no no I can't go [TS]

  they told me not to go and add me is [TS]

  like wait what now i have to talk you [TS]

  into following orders were here because [TS]

  you disobeyed orders why would we might [TS]

  go there it doesn't really make me [TS]

  samuel l jackson told him to and you [TS]

  gotta listen when Samuel Jackson tells [TS]

  but when those guys get to Geonosis they [TS]

  just find like a steam vent hole and [TS]

  just drop right into it and get out and [TS]

  the steam is apparently not burning or [TS]

  antisocial landing pad apparently it's [TS]

  conveniently located beneath the steam [TS]

  and then you literally stroll out of the [TS]

  steam vent hole and there's a door and [TS]

  you walk in you're in the complex so [TS]

  this is not a really high security area [TS]

  is what I'm saying but I just I love the [TS]

  fact that when when we finally finally [TS]

  it is [TS]

  all revealed its nute Gunray talking [TS]

  about treaties y and then as you're [TS]

  about to point out he steps outside and [TS]

  within clear earshot of all the people [TS]

  making their duties he makes a fun kids [TS]

  yelling into his transmitter because [TS]

  apparently dogs on the train I found him [TS]

  you gotta get here [TS]

  hey here's an idea OB how to cope with [TS]

  the fact that you're outside of [TS]

  transmitted range i don't know maybe get [TS]

  the hell off the planet yeah thanks a [TS]

  lot [TS]

  your ship goes faster than light maybe [TS]

  that would help only when it's attached [TS]

  to that ring well it doesn't at the [TS]

  moment because it's it doesn't have the [TS]

  overhang at the moment so i cut back the [TS]

  Khorasan briefly here for a for a [TS]

  discussion of the Chancellor getting [TS]

  emergency powers and everything and that [TS]

  they hope the hilarious thing about this [TS]

  that I didn't realize the first couple [TS]

  times I saw this movie is it's it's [TS]

  plain as if the difficult part of [TS]

  getting the Chancellor emergency powers [TS]

  is merely getting some center to propose [TS]

  the amendment yeah no no recognition of [TS]

  actual politics might work and how you [TS]

  might use your influence to form [TS]

  coalition's and decide this person wants [TS]

  this and that person wants that and use [TS]

  the corruption of them are black male or [TS]

  ever had maze Padma's role in the [TS]

  opposition of padmé were to crack and [TS]

  swing her vote to this side then it [TS]

  would finally happen right and then paso [TS]

  Palpatine gets up there and he says like [TS]

  that again didn't notice until this time [TS]

  that when he's giving his little speech [TS]

  the boat hasn't taken place yet the jar [TS]

  has been convinced or whatever through [TS]

  like you know saying that he's chicken [TS]

  to propose the amendment and then [TS]

  helping gets up there he says he says [TS]

  what his first act would be before [TS]

  everyone votes on he says if you elect [TS]

  me Chancellor future tense my first act [TS]

  will be to form a Grand Army of the [TS]

  Republic everybody's on shared you [TS]

  actually like that you already agree [TS]

  with what he's going to do with his [TS]

  emergency powers [TS]

  why don't you just vote to make an army [TS]

  of the republic he doesn't need [TS]

  emergency powers of everyone already [TS]

  agrees with what he's going over to the [TS]

  point [TS]

  aren't we already told the dirt cities [TS]

  is controlling a big part of the Senate [TS]

  to like he probably could have just [TS]

  found guys I get you [TS]

  yeah nominee for emergency powers oppose [TS]

  the amendment [TS]

  it's got a majority support like but it [TS]

  doesn't make sense from the Senate's [TS]

  perspective no no John you don't you [TS]

  don't understand just how big a deal it [TS]

  is that jar jar binks has a has has [TS]

  moved [TS]

  to vote on this amendment is here [TS]

  starbucks has been one merely proposes [TS]

  it yes it says and this is the irony of [TS]

  the prequels Jar Jar Binks ruins [TS]

  everything because he's a dummy he is [TS]

  the reason why the Empire comes to be [TS]

  charged our banks or you could say I'm a [TS]

  doll is bad [TS]

  I delegation to charge our I don't know [TS]

  if George Lucas has ever seen ever knows [TS]

  what real politics [TS]

  maybe someone should make him watch [TS]

  house of cards that say likes this is [TS]

  happy span or anything like take a [TS]

  social studies course I'm just begging [TS]

  so yeah well it's nonsense one would be [TS]

  good so Palpatine takes over and my note [TS]

  there is this would be more exciting if [TS]

  it weren't so bureaucratic it's [TS]

  literally like I am now the supreme [TS]

  leader of this Republic what forms do i [TS]

  need to fill out now scandalize from the [TS]

  various system on a forms taxation is [TS]

  that he's appointing the sanitation [TS]

  Commissioner for people who donated a [TS]

  lot just campaign for dog catcher will [TS]

  be replaced when i say i'm going to form [TS]

  a Grand Army I mean look it's can beat [TS]

  these guys already have an army that we [TS]

  ordered ten years ago and totally forgot [TS]

  about this is anybody surprised by that [TS]

  when they suddenly appear after like a [TS]

  week [TS]

  wow you guys know these guys are good [TS]

  cloners great corners that's a big guy [TS]

  and it's been going on for 10 years but [TS]

  apparently they're almost ready yep [TS]

  no they were they were they were more [TS]

  than ready they were wondering if you [TS]

  were ever going to come also this is the [TS]

  point at which i wonder if he's [TS]

  teetering on the brink of controlling [TS]

  the Senate already what's the point of [TS]

  the big war between the robots in the [TS]

  clones that he's telling orchestrated [TS]

  this that's to justify the creation of [TS]

  the clone army itself so that he can use [TS]

  them as stormtroopers [TS]

  ah yeah yeah i mean the the what's [TS]

  supposed to be happening here is there's [TS]

  a great debate about whether they should [TS]

  form an army or not because the Jedi [TS]

  have been good enough and the Jedi are [TS]

  saying no no we can't do this especially [TS]

  an extra pressure is put on the Jedi by [TS]

  the forming of this separatist group and [TS]

  the general like we can't look we can [TS]

  handle this these guys are going to [TS]

  break away if there's a conflict we're [TS]

  not going to be able to to fight the war [TS]

  with these guys and they've got all [TS]

  their droids and so it's supposed to [TS]

  come up with this false the deal false [TS]

  threats just it's a phantom menace again [TS]

  this it's phantom ER this time [TS]

  and uh and and so the robot the droid [TS]

  army is the false threat and so he's [TS]

  going to have this clone army at the [TS]

  ready so that when everybody's convinced [TS]

  then he can bring his clone army and [TS]

  when they sweep away these losers who [TS]

  are not very good with their clone army [TS]

  because nute Gunray not a guy who you [TS]

  really have high confidence in then he [TS]

  look I've got my big army now and then [TS]

  he can proceed to use them to take over [TS]

  the whole Republic wait here's an idea [TS]

  skip the droids still build the Clone [TS]

  Army and then just take the race the [TS]

  cologne planet from the Jedi archive let [TS]

  the Senate vote you a Chancellor power [TS]

  supreme powers and then just you know [TS]

  proceed from there you don't even know [TS]

  supreme powers just tell your army to [TS]

  come in and take over to dissolve the it [TS]

  was not a good sign a new hope anyway [TS]

  it's like it's like his army is also [TS]

  what was the whole point of having the [TS]

  dead Jedi who ordered the army in the [TS]

  first cipher do it was just a name that [TS]

  presumably city is or Pandora's [TS]

  Palpatine or or someone used the ice in [TS]

  the ice and Christopher Lee place the [TS]

  order but used us an assumed name [TS]

  I just saying like it's not like they [TS]

  clearly didn't backcheck it's like why [TS]

  did it matter [TS]

  no there's no credit check and give him [TS]

  any name he's good for it i'm sure the [TS]

  fact that the guys name is safer didn't [TS]

  set off any alarm bells are yeah that's [TS]

  good for it he's good for it [TS]

  jedi jedi play battle are made of Jedi [TS]

  yeah you know master made of Jedi is [TS]

  great [TS]

  Lannister's pay their debts Jedi's pay [TS]

  their bills out he was he was a real [TS]

  dead I it is used it the name of a dead [TS]

  Jedi right that's yeah well yeah I just [TS]

  didn't think there's a reason to do that [TS]

  Jedi Master what's your name [TS]

  um a strong guy that's my name strong [TS]

  guy [TS]

  it's not the first time are listed here [TS]

  are huge that's it exactly [TS]

  ok everybody step back it's time for me [TS]

  to blow the spoiler horn [TS]

  now these aren't spoilers for episode 2 [TS]

  instead the spoiler horn you may not [TS]

  know this spoiler horn before it became [TS]

  the spoiler horn was just a humble [TS]

  foghorn and i want to tell you about [TS]

  another foghorn this one is a short [TS]

  fiction magazine for the iphone ipad and [TS]

  ipod touch it's our sponsor [TS]

  it's the foghorn magazine this is near [TS]

  and dear to my heart when I was in [TS]

  college I started an Internet short [TS]

  fiction magazine called enter text in [TS]

  1991 and everything was free and I [TS]

  couldn't pay my writers and here's the [TS]

  thing about today is finally we've got [TS]

  ways for people who want to read great [TS]

  stuff and people who want to write great [TS]

  stuff to come together and the writers [TS]

  get paid which is really awesome so let [TS]

  me explain to you what the foghorn [TS]

  magazine is four stories a month 12 [TS]

  issues a year from exciting Hollywood [TS]

  writers as well as new voices people who [TS]

  are really interesting but you haven't [TS]

  heard of yet the people at the foghorn [TS]

  magazine believe two things they believe [TS]

  that today's readers want curated [TS]

  consumable stories that don't stack up [TS]

  on the coffee table but don't sit there [TS]

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  believe importantly that writer should [TS]

  get paid for great writing so here's [TS]

  what the foghorn does you spend three [TS]

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  for stories / issue and you get these [TS]

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  the subway on the bus in bed or anywhere [TS]

  in between one-story a week for the [TS]

  whole year at the cost of a dollar story [TS]

  seems like a pretty good deal and what [TS]

  that subscription cost does is helps the [TS]

  foghorn pay a thousand dollars for each [TS]

  public story puts money in the pocket of [TS]

  some awesome new writers and lets them [TS]

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  to 826 LA which is a nonprofit dedicated [TS]

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  creative and expository writing skills [TS]

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  students to write so download the free [TS]

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  download their issue and read it before [TS]

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  visit the foghorn that's [TS]

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  subscribe today really exciting and [TS]

  thanks to the fog [TS]

  horn for sponsoring the uncomfortable [TS]

  spoiler horn take us out [TS]

  ok Geonosis let's get through this pad [TS]

  manacle and conveniently spaceship sighs [TS]

  steam vents and they aren't burned and [TS]

  they have direct access into the factory [TS]

  where they make droids and that leads us [TS]

  to a series of set pieces that cap this [TS]

  movie off starting with the fingers [TS]

  anytime baby [TS]

  well I what about what about obi-wan and [TS]

  it happen the blue light have strong [TS]

  objections to that to the scene where [TS]

  obi-wan is trapped in the blue light [TS]

  yeah because that's another echo of a [TS]

  previous scene we're skipping the scene [TS]

  where he leaves a voicemail message and [TS]

  get shot halfway [TS]

  you're right no truly right i get i love [TS]

  obi-wan's phone calls because first [TS]

  there's the one of the reigning this is [TS]

  the worries like i gotta go and these [TS]

  the only Jedi they have their just [TS]

  sending him like left and right like all [TS]

  of the place where the rest of them are [TS]

  kicked back at the Jedi Temple be like [TS]

  about that obi-wan he's betrayed you [TS]

  should check my carmen sandiego [TS]

  basically i want to complain about [TS]

  obi-wan being in the prison suspension [TS]

  beam and this is mostly on behalf of my [TS]

  girlfriend who feels that Christopher [TS]

  Lee when he has you and mcgregor trapped [TS]

  and suspended in a prison should have [TS]

  cooler stuff around to keep him trapped [TS]

  suspended like maybe manacles or [TS]

  something right I like that he rotates [TS]

  but like randomly so Christopher Lee has [TS]

  the potential to ground really weird [TS]

  camera angles of like it's the back of [TS]

  your McGregor's head like why is there [TS]

  not just ate like why can't they just [TS]

  keep the station here and they have a [TS]

  dialogue they're trying to be the Empire [TS]

  call back with Duke but it'sit's [TS]

  delivered in such a toothless kind of [TS]

  pale shadow of the scenes that [TS]

  references where it's like you must join [TS]

  this is actual dialogue you must join me [TS]

  i will never join you Dooku [TS]

  okay well that's straightforward then [TS]

  and then leaves the road to know i will [TS]

  never join you sorrow Matt do indicate [TS]

  compared to like you know Luke screaming [TS]

  with hand cut off just finding out that [TS]

  this guy was his father just like you [TS]

  should join me [TS]

  no thanks alright seen seen over i've [TS]

  also been instructed to ask why couldn't [TS]

  obi-wan may be shirtless in this scene [TS]

  well yeah but at least Christopher Lee [TS]

  you know has some gravitas in a delivery [TS]

  even if it's terrible dialogue and even [TS]

  if it's not his most inspired [TS]

  performance like oh good there's an [TS]

  adult on the scene [TS]

  yeah that guy that they had to say his [TS]

  name i think i think Christopher leave [TS]

  it comes off [TS]

  ok mr. Lee could do better than this [TS]

  scene in his sleep though he's tortured [TS]

  yeah whatever he did ya do this i also [TS]

  thought it was strange justjust let's [TS]

  have him offer [TS]

  oh I'm an eminent enemy of us if they're [TS]

  bad join me and we're going to work with [TS]

  nute Gunray here it's like it's like it [TS]

  this is a double bluff is this a triple [TS]

  bonds if he's bluffing himself I'm [TS]

  similarly actually fell asleep halfway [TS]

  through the scene and started doing [TS]

  lines from fellowship of the ring and [TS]

  just no one noticed i'm i'm anticipating [TS]

  he would be cast in fellowship of the [TS]

  ring the so that's really confusing when [TS]

  Anakin decides to go with pat me like [TS]

  they convince them to break the rules or [TS]

  whatever Anakin says to her don't worry [TS]

  I've given up trying to argue with you [TS]

  or did you when did that happen because [TS]

  I didn't see any of the sparring that [TS]

  you are now trying to reference retro [TS]

  actively that must have been a different [TS]

  movie where you had this relationship [TS]

  where you've given up trying to argue [TS]

  because it seems like there was none of [TS]

  that in the movie and you never said [TS]

  anything in between all the other scenes [TS]

  know there's this brief once they've [TS]

  decided to stop playing the will they [TS]

  won't they creepy game and they're like [TS]

  oh yeah we're gonna shoot together we're [TS]

  sort of together we maybe have slept [TS]

  together and we're sort of bantering I'm [TS]

  like okay this section right here on the [TS]

  ship this movie I might want to see the [TS]

  rest of the movie not so much all you [TS]

  had that had to be interrupted because [TS]

  they did have to have a Merry level as [TS]

  yeah when Anakin Anakin Amidala land on [TS]

  the planet [TS]

  Anakin says not again obi-wan is gonna [TS]

  kill me he loses that lightsaber and I [TS]

  actually written that down as being [TS]

  probably the only decent line reading [TS]

  that Anna can get yeah actually that is [TS]

  only the app that may be his only 1i [TS]

  don't mind the line reading but it's [TS]

  just so elbow key to me get it [TS]

  obi-wan is gonna kill him oh that's the [TS]

  elbow keyline i mean that's that's what [TS]

  we want earlier saying you'll be the [TS]

  death of me like that one is way worse i [TS]

  do not like this plan [TS]

  yes I I have a bad feeling about this [TS]

  I'm sorry master i forgot you didn't [TS]

  like flying [TS]

  this is the worst i have a bad feeling [TS]

  about this by the way I do like the we [TS]

  came to rescue you and I did like your [TS]

  McGregor's good job [TS]

  yeah that's yes love that bit that may [TS]

  be the only funny line [TS]

  it in the mat and the merrier level you [TS]

  have a3p oh who gives a series of lines [TS]

  unbroken by any lines from any other [TS]

  character and I i have a bunch of them [TS]

  written down here but I'm just listening [TS]

  to my all i could think of my head was [TS]

  keep trying scriptwriters one of these [TS]

  is going to land said he says in [TS]

  sequence and all them down [TS]

  I'm scrap it's a nightmare I want to go [TS]

  home what did I do to deserve this [TS]

  maybe pick one pick one of those you [TS]

  think is your best the best line is 3p [TS]

  ok I all of them are pretty crappy [TS]

  they're not delivered very horrible [TS]

  outtakes i'm so confused [TS]

  Anthony Daniels has to eat okay he [TS]

  doesn't play anybody else never the [TS]

  dialogue i liked around here was when [TS]

  they're change the pillars and maybe [TS]

  he'll die maybe they'll die hey Anakin [TS]

  says to obi-wan [TS]

  what about Padme who's in the background [TS]

  climbing up propeller Wanda says she [TS]

  seems fine now she's not talking about [TS]

  everything has to be some terrible [TS]

  verbal you know happened to Lucas humor [TS]

  i still like the spirit of her not [TS]

  sitting around and waiting with backup [TS]

  we got the crazy fit stamping of [TS]

  conveyor belt factory seen their let's [TS]

  back up this is now we get flying r2d2 [TS]

  here action scene listing Threepio [TS]

  everybody desperately wants that's wacky [TS]

  droid factory head swap shenanigans [TS]

  who do you want something to use let me [TS]

  to some serious exit central questions [TS]

  about how c-3po is consciousness works [TS]

  yeah and and is he it is isn't in his [TS]

  body as part of yeah his body doesn't [TS]

  work together because because neither of [TS]

  them it's not like his head is going for [TS]

  a ride in that robot army droid army [TS]

  body and it's not quite like his body is [TS]

  completely been taken over by the droid [TS]

  army robot head so I i went down a [TS]

  rabbit hole there for a little while [TS]

  because I was trying to find something [TS]

  to amuse myself and wonder what what is [TS]

  the nature of droid consciousness and [TS]

  where it's and what what makes a droid [TS]

  droid [TS]

  I have no answers we see inside of the [TS]

  droid there's this thing we call the [TS]

  cloud is around the head and the body [TS]

  ok so do they dream of electric gundarks [TS]

  em here dan I've been dying a little bit [TS]

  it's a yes-or-no question people come on [TS]

  the whole factory stamping thing there's [TS]

  that you know no one will be seated when [TS]

  Padma is dropped in a crucible that's [TS]

  going to have hot lava boy and metal [TS]

  because they did the cutting of like [TS]

  that lava going into crystal is it the [TS]

  crystal shoes and no it's not know [TS]

  probably going to crystals at the [TS]

  crystal she knew no it's not not not [TS]

  competently done remember too many times [TS]

  it's almost kind of hard to keep track [TS]

  of how many crystals we didn't hurt the [TS]

  lava like this is basic stuff so silly [TS]

  and went into the one she's in now she's [TS]

  dead [TS]

  oh well I never really thought she was [TS]

  going to get killed by hot lava [TS]

  no no but in r2 does the thing which is [TS]

  like oh this drops the crucible on the [TS]

  ground so she can run away okay that's [TS]

  good i don't know maybe our to fly over [TS]

  and let her grab you and drag and why [TS]

  can't she get out of the crystal she's a [TS]

  majoring athlete and shooting guns and [TS]

  butter you put he put her into a little [TS]

  submit thing that's a cut two feet too [TS]

  high for her to get out of it she can't [TS]

  but my favorite thing about the scene is [TS]

  that when they get to the end it's like [TS]

  literally like well that's over now will [TS]

  capture you like there's no there's no [TS]

  resolution it's like literally well that [TS]

  was the end of the conveyor belt [TS]

  I guess we'll capture never finished [TS]

  that level Jason they finish the level i [TS]

  like the G the G noses are just standing [TS]

  on the other side like it happening [TS]

  their feet likely to die or will the [TS]

  rest up [TS]

  yeah its voice I mean they are on a [TS]

  moving sidewalk that is bringing them [TS]

  right to is time for another crappy [TS]

  cutscene so that there's a there's that [TS]

  and then there's some love dialogue [TS]

  which I have done in my notes on Sally [TS]

  here's my notes this is I only wrote [TS]

  down three words in this whole scene [TS]

  which is love dialogue barf [TS]

  that's what i wrote that is actually [TS]

  slightly more compelling love dialogue [TS]

  than the ones that was actually written [TS]

  i had the word gag written lots of days [TS]

  between the GFR gag whatever i truly [TS]

  deeply unreasonably irrationally [TS]

  nonsensically love you for whatever [TS]

  reason that I picture that I hate sand [TS]

  conversation in this scene when I was [TS]

  remembering it and now I realize that [TS]

  was to block out the actual dialogue [TS]

  that happened haha you should do some [TS]

  line readings hear it [TS]

  Padma says I'm not afraid to die I've [TS]

  been dying a little bit each day since [TS]

  you have you have you been dying a [TS]

  little bit each day because again i [TS]

  didn't see that in the movie and I don't [TS]

  understand why you would be dying except [TS]

  maybe [TS]

  dying license in your soul is being [TS]

  questioned by this [TS]

  yep that's it i've been dying a little [TS]

  bit for the last two hours and then she [TS]

  asked that she asked to basics but I i [TS]

  truly deeply love you write like this [TS]

  goes back to the episode 1 episode that [TS]

  we did right which is i'm not going to [TS]

  show what I'm just going to just list [TS]

  out all the feelings I have been dying a [TS]

  little bit each day like what one but [TS]

  like I can't even believe that George [TS]

  couldn't put right that like he didn't [TS]

  he pulled this verbatim from the [TS]

  nineteen seventies Olivia newton-john [TS]

  song like but when what movie he does he [TS]

  think preceded that line I don't miss [TS]

  this boggles my mind boggles my mind [TS]

  so here we learned that the this planet [TS]

  of droid builders also have a penchant [TS]

  for gladiatorial duels who knew I I have [TS]

  a note here that says I like Natalie [TS]

  Portman's white outfit in this scene [TS]

  this is this is so a little costume note [TS]

  this is this this is the outfit that [TS]

  makes me think that this is princess [TS]

  Leia's mother it's a very kind of this [TS]

  is the the good throwback to the old [TS]

  trilogy kind of thing the all-white kind [TS]

  of outfit i like i like that so there's [TS]

  a nice thing i said i like i like [TS]

  there's a little bit tighter than layers [TS]

  outfit maybe he wanted to get [TS]

  midriff-baring bearing as I screw say [TS]

  this is the bit that kind of creeps me [TS]

  out a little bit though because i [TS]

  realized at this point the only reason [TS]

  the monster slashes are in the back is [TS]

  to reveal her here that monster always [TS]

  wanted to be a fashion designer but he [TS]

  was he felt stifled by the role of [TS]

  killing you know captives is that not [TS]

  your outfit looks so much better just [TS]

  very clear that guy clothes couldn't [TS]

  operate a sewing machine so what are you [TS]

  gonna do it from that perspective [TS]

  frankly I'm not complaining about the [TS]

  big about the exposed midriff but it's [TS]

  just that combined with the late gold [TS]

  bikini and suddenly i'm getting a [TS]

  picture of Lucas's private life that I [TS]

  really don't know but i don't really [TS]

  need [TS]

  ok so so here's my other note for this [TS]

  which is a variety of monsters appear [TS]

  which is its i find this fascinating [TS]

  because it's like not like a Roman [TS]

  gladiator kind of thing where it's like [TS]

  and now the Lions come out it's like I [TS]

  know let's bring out one of those kind [TS]

  and I'm one of those kind and another [TS]

  one here and and [TS]

  we'll put them with these other people [TS]

  in this arena and we'll see what happens [TS]

  it felt almost like a reality show like [TS]

  this is the monster arena the real world [TS]

  monster arena or something we have five [TS]

  different monsters answer what happened [TS]

  who will die first [TS]

  the first monster kills a guy on a mount [TS]

  right away so they can't have done this [TS]

  very often [TS]

  that's like losing on Survivor on the [TS]

  first episode right but Maddox we knew [TS]

  what was going on here the monsters are [TS]

  going to try to eat the people the [TS]

  people are gonna try and knock it out of [TS]

  the United my after and after the Love [TS]

  dialogue you're like oh thank god my [TS]

  brain will have something that can look [TS]

  at and not feel like it wants to run and [TS]

  hide because we highlight the monsters [TS]

  and trying to be killed by them and yes [TS]

  but it's the value pack of monsters that [TS]

  struck me it's because three of the same [TS]

  monster three of the same monster would [TS]

  be boring right so i'll have three very [TS]

  different assortment will have the yes [TS]

  we'll have the the Starship Troopers [TS]

  monster over here and we'll have the [TS]

  writable monster over here it's the [TS]

  Whitman sampler of monsters now exactly [TS]

  this is I wrote down that this is as far [TS]

  as videogame sequences in this movie go [TS]

  again ninety percent of the movie but [TS]

  this particular one is actually not too [TS]

  bad and I think the reason is there's [TS]

  only three characters we are bouncing [TS]

  back and forth between 50 different [TS]

  random Jedi that we haven't seen before [TS]

  and you can actually focus your [TS]

  attention on it the mechanics are clear [TS]

  where there's like that the chains and [TS]

  that and and how they break the chains [TS]

  and swing around and stuff like that [TS]

  it's all like fairly clear linear [TS]

  mechanics I've got to get I've got to [TS]

  get free from my chain and then I'm [TS]

  going to ride on the little beast over [TS]

  here and I was never confused about what [TS]

  was going on it was all pretty [TS]

  straightforward it all goes downhill [TS]

  once a Jedi show up his party's over [TS]

  because suddenly suddenly you're [TS]

  watching 60 thousand different [TS]

  characters again and he never spends [TS]

  more than a millisecond on each one of [TS]

  them and you just can't focus yeah the [TS]

  whole time that these three people are [TS]

  fighting these three monsters it's cool [TS]

  but you have to keep reminding just [TS]

  outside the stadium [TS]

  there's first a big squad of Jedi on [TS]

  this side then big squad of robots over [TS]

  here and then a big squad of clones over [TS]

  here all waiting their turn to russian [TS]

  and attack the previous group [TS]

  yeah I don't know what the general [TS]

  strategy was I guess we're going to go [TS]

  in there and kill everyone who is not a [TS]

  good [TS]

  yeah I don't know what their what their [TS]

  strategy was their strategy was we're [TS]

  Jedi we should just be able to walk over [TS]

  there [TS]

  it wasn't an extraction they weren't [TS]

  they didn't have any way to extract them [TS]

  they just went in there and said we're [TS]

  gonna do fighting times I think they [TS]

  figured they'd give up right in just [TS]

  like go to all the Jedi are here we quit [TS]

  except they didn't realize they've got [TS]

  the crazy droid army there but they [TS]

  didn't know that cause that's why they [TS]

  brought the crazy clone army of the Jedi [TS]

  are diminished Monty their diminished [TS]

  this is how they did you see how to [TS]

  balance [TS]

  well it was another opportunity with 443 [TS]

  po2 spot more lines like this is such a [TS]

  drag and i'm quite beside myself [TS]

  oh god yes my friend down at three chr [TS]

  although to be honest [TS]

  Threepio has been doing bad puns for a [TS]

  long I know but you gotta pick the one [TS]

  or two winners you can't just say [TS]

  everything that comes into your mind and [TS]

  write down this year after that make him [TS]

  say them one after the other not even [TS]

  broken up by things that happen i lost [TS]

  my head [TS]

  what a drag don't make me root versi [TS]

  Threepio did die which is what was [TS]

  happening I think this is a strong [TS]

  strong contender for the worst bit of [TS]

  patented Lucas so-called humor there's [TS]

  ever been this is such a drag is it that [TS]

  was I something really hot i love puns [TS]

  and I boot that one I don't know that [TS]

  it's worse than Howard the Duck the by [TS]

  the way I didn't write down a lot of [TS]

  dialogue here but I wrote down you call [TS]

  this a diplomatic solution like that is [TS]

  because that is the back-and-forth [TS]

  male-female like we're in love but we're [TS]

  in this action movie and we've got a [TS]

  dynamic and here's what here's what [TS]

  we're going to say and it just think [TS]

  they can pull it off whether it's the [TS]

  characters of the actors of the director [TS]

  or whatever but it's like we're trying [TS]

  to do snappy dialogue and it's just like [TS]

  this is where I'm just so angry at the [TS]

  movie and I'm like no no you did it [TS]

  wrong they have the incredible nerve to [TS]

  try to make a call back to an earlier so [TS]

  that the aggressive negotiations they [TS]

  all back to their to the pair floating [TS]

  seen or whatever like it's like some [TS]

  nerve you gonna call back to that we [TS]

  hated that it's like if they call back [TS]

  later to be what a drag [TS]

  like you can't make callbacks the scenes [TS]

  that we all hated that didn't work like [TS]

  it's just it's just incredible the [TS]

  everybody's but he's gonna clearly they [TS]

  don't have self consciousness in that [TS]

  way but in Lucas's mind we would be [TS]

  loving that line [TS]

  that's the most disturbing because [TS]

  earlier with the aggressive yeah laughs [TS]

  you can imagine him giggling over it as [TS]

  he Scrolls in a napkin over said seven [TS]

  donut of the hour the car i almost just [TS]

  directly started like saying mean things [TS]

  that George Lucas in my notes is when [TS]

  you go to shows up with with the people [TS]

  and he makes Yoda makes Yoda who like I [TS]

  try not to associate this yoga with like [TS]

  the real yoga but it makes you know to [TS]

  say around the runners at the regular [TS]

  create I was like no come on are you [TS]

  doing to read your 10 he drops it your [TS]

  speaks perfect english for like the last [TS]

  10 minutes of this movie because even he [TS]

  is just like to the forward command [TS]

  center take me both of those lines [TS]

  should never come out of your life i get [TS]

  like they're second in the otherwise [TS]

  raised like guys let's just go and it's [TS]

  totally perfect like I happen to have [TS]

  turned on the subtitles because i didn't [TS]

  realize my version didn't have subtitles [TS]

  and so I've got like I'm reading all the [TS]

  dilation like wait he is speaking in [TS]

  perfectly logical correctly constructed [TS]

  sentences right now why now why for only [TS]

  these like eight lines of dialogue do [TS]

  they just get tired they're like oh man [TS]

  the macro to reverse verbs and nouns [TS]

  broke i don't know it's weird if you go [TS]

  back and watch episode for just the [TS]

  scene where Leia is sprung from her [TS]

  prison cell everything they say is [TS]

  shouted and is amazingly funny and [TS]

  quippy and none of it reads as terribly [TS]

  as every line in all of the prequels ok [TS]

  sponsor break time [TS]

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  for sponsoring the uncomfortable but by [TS]

  your dad's head is in that that helmet [TS]

  don't pick it up [TS]

  no the head flies out so just FYI out [TS]

  isn't this a small dark blur [TS]

  that's awful I kind of like that makes [TS]

  race window by killing django by just [TS]

  running up to him and cutting off his [TS]

  head because again like jenna is [TS]

  supposed to be competent yeah this whole [TS]

  moving not being competent so finally we [TS]

  get to see mace windu fighting someone [TS]

  and he gets the upper and just runs [TS]

  right and cuts his hair like I give a [TS]

  thumbs up to that scene if they did more [TS]

  of that would have would have made me [TS]

  think the Jedi were actually useful [TS]

  thing to have in the galaxy instead of [TS]

  just people with light up sticks that [TS]

  this stuff maybe would have been two [TS]

  hours short just cut off their heads [TS]

  down from 17 new gun rec room gone next [TS]

  day done that one movie ago and unlike [TS]

  Anakin like we don't get it are a [TS]

  reasonable origin story for darth vader [TS]

  i think that's origin story Boba Fett's [TS]

  artists are is reasonable raised by a [TS]

  bounty hunter the Jedi killed bounty [TS]

  hunter he's gonna grow painting the Jedi [TS]

  and you're going to want to be by are [TS]

  like is that it's gonna be great [TS]

  everything except for the army of clones [TS]

  based on he wouldn't have to be a bounty [TS]

  hunter anyway it doesn't matter if the [TS]

  dead I killed his father otto but he [TS]

  really dislikes the Jedi it's in his [TS]

  genes then for all those Star Trek [TS]

  turns out there obi-wan Kenobi says [TS]

  attack those Federation starships [TS]

  quickly i thought that was great [TS]

  finally a star wars star trek head on [TS]

  board that's what we've been waiting for [TS]

  the exit the Federation is run by nute [TS]

  Gunray who is terrible but not unlike a [TS]

  Star Trek character the JJ Abrams [TS]

  universe also run by nute Gunray i think [TS]

  in this scene in the movie we also catch [TS]

  a glimpse of Dooku's Jedi rascal scooter [TS]

  which i think is normal [TS]

  yeah i think i was yelling at read the [TS]

  whole time was like why you got the [TS]

  scooter more importantly why he parked [TS]

  his ship all the way across the desert [TS]

  from the place where he had his [TS]

  deniability worse garage have such a [TS]

  darkie looking scooter though like it [TS]

  doesn't look impressive he looks I'm [TS]

  embarrassed for him when he's always [TS]

  like it's not a big wheel it's it's a [TS]

  rascal [TS]

  that's what Lucas had made a bet with [TS]

  somebody at this point that [TS]

  somebody at this point that [TS]

  he couldn't come up with a lamer mode of [TS]

  transport and darth maul's bike from the [TS]

  first first episode i think i see made a [TS]

  bet like I can get Christopher lead to [TS]

  ride on that basically is no no I don't [TS]

  think you can do that [TS]

  twenty bucks says you can't get Chris on [TS]

  that one of the rules of science fiction [TS]

  is that you always park as far away from [TS]

  wherever you're going as you can so you [TS]

  can see landscape when futurama they [TS]

  always land someplace and then have to [TS]

  walk 10 miles to deliver things so this [TS]

  is the scene and I kind of want to blow [TS]

  through this unless you guys have a lot [TS]

  to say about because i don't think it's [TS]

  that interesting this is huge armies at [TS]

  war [TS]

  it's hard to understand the scale [TS]

  reminded me a little bit of some of the [TS]

  large fight scenes and Lord of the Rings [TS]

  except the scale is even larger than [TS]

  that you don't care about any of the [TS]

  animal fighting exactly and there's no [TS]

  real stakes other than that like Amidala [TS]

  falls off the the helicopter and is in [TS]

  the sand for a while behind it's just [TS]

  not it's just not interesting [TS]

  Oh Anakin does yell at obi-wan that one [TS]

  scene like I want to jump off the ship [TS]

  because she felt like to get my [TS]

  girlfriend he says no don't get your [TS]

  girlfriend she's fine she fell on us and [TS]

  obviously he gets a bravery he's like [TS]

  I'm going to expel you like that he has [TS]

  to let go all the way to avoid what [TS]

  would she do she would door duty [TS]

  I'm gonna send you i wish i could just [TS]

  my duty my face would look a lot [TS]

  different yeah so you know and it is [TS]

  like one of those video games where [TS]

  you're like oh wow here's the big battle [TS]

  we're gonna fight so no in this level [TS]

  you just pilot the helicopter across the [TS]

  battle to the next get you get out of [TS]

  the helicopter the clone should review [TS]

  their blow up but don't feel bad [TS]

  immediately RRR dead for no I so there's [TS]

  not yet there was really the script [TS]

  killed them again [TS]

  yes they had to die and and so then we [TS]

  get our big confrontation between Dooku [TS]

  who has dark side lightning which is [TS]

  nice it's a nice feature my iphone has [TS]

  dark side lighting and Christopher Lee [TS]

  goes does a lot of evil stuff here which [TS]

  I really like [TS]

  well Anakin rushes in because he doesn't [TS]

  pay attention because he's a terrible [TS]

  student a terrible person [TS]

  relic it's apt and gets beat up and gets [TS]

  his arm cut off [TS]

  bomberman yeah and then we want to get [TS]

  to beat up to know if this my only real [TS]

  complaint with the scene i thought i [TS]

  would hate the scene more seeing it [TS]

  again like with the co2 jumping around [TS]

  like a little frog with the lights and [TS]

  everything [TS]

  but my only complaint is the same when I [TS]

  originally had which is the culmination [TS]

  of the sea manduku tries to topple a [TS]

  giant stone pillar on top of the two [TS]

  other Jedi so he can make his escape and [TS]

  yoga solution is to move the pillar [TS]

  rather than villar I don't instead of [TS]

  the 200-pound people he will not only [TS]

  that but if you're going to pick up the [TS]

  pillar whatever and let's point out that [TS]

  you lifted a starship which is in Empire [TS]

  which is probably a lot heavier like [TS]

  can't really take the time to like [TS]

  slamming internship so he doesn't get [TS]

  away [TS]

  yeah yoda yoda doesn't come off looking [TS]

  like a very wise or like we expect them [TS]

  to move things with for school cos big [TS]

  thing and we don't expect him to pull [TS]

  the lightsaber and I totally understand [TS]

  they wanted to do that and I don't think [TS]

  it works that great but if you're gonna [TS]

  make yoga Jedi kind of makes sense that [TS]

  he would have to have lightsaber that [TS]

  was that was it was I thought it was fun [TS]

  to have that moment and of it goes on he [TS]

  jumps around a lot more than seems [TS]

  necessary and he's coming the big green [TS]

  blur a little bit more but i love the [TS]

  idea that's like yeah Yoda knows how to [TS]

  use it like a printed I didn't hate it [TS]

  as much as I hate the first time I saw [TS]

  it because I you know the first time I [TS]

  saw it was very much a know the whole [TS]

  point of yoda is that he is such a good [TS]

  Jedi he doesn't need to resort to a [TS]

  light saber right the I still believe [TS]

  that but I've been a disassociated this [TS]

  yeah it was the actual yoga i'm with you [TS]

  i liked it the first time but I hated it [TS]

  this time it's such a bad sort fight but [TS]

  it's not even a certified it's like a I [TS]

  not to say it's a video game level again [TS]

  but it's like in the middle of the sword [TS]

  fight yo does some jumping want to see [TS]

  if they have a lot of trouble with some [TS]

  more because he's old enough that he [TS]

  requires a stunt double for most of the [TS]

  see ya and so what's interesting is you [TS]

  get this mix of scenes where it's like [TS]

  from a medium shy [TS]

  alright it looks ok and then you get [TS]

  these really weird close-up shots of you [TS]

  McGregor and Christopher Lee where it's [TS]

  like I can't actually tell if you're [TS]

  even in the same scene right now it's [TS]

  just so dissociated from their actual [TS]

  bodies and ends back out to the wide [TS]

  shot and it's like all right now they're [TS]

  fighting and that's not bad choreography [TS]

  and then back into the super close shots [TS]

  like now you're just looking each other [TS]

  angrily and waving lightsabers correct [TS]

  and I don't really know what that is [TS]

  samuel l jackson had the same problem [TS]

  because I think he was a little bit too [TS]

  out of shape for the role they want him [TS]

  two halves but they didn't replace him [TS]

  with the stunt person so a lot of times [TS]

  they have saying no Jackson waving his [TS]

  lightsaber around any luck [TS]

  it's a little bit like you know your dad [TS]

  waving a lifesaver when Yoda is in the [TS]

  fight i think it is bed choreography [TS]

  it's not clear what either of them are [TS]

  trying to do it is assigned to size [TS]

  mismatches had how do you make good [TS]

  choreography between someone's like two [TS]

  feet tall and I like six if he could do [TS]

  double forward flips that fast he should [TS]

  be carving Christopher Lee up but [TS]

  instead he just flips up to [TS]

  I level and attacks right where [TS]

  Christopher Lee horas TT lock myself in [TS]

  the ankles and your done really hard to [TS]

  fight with no ankles on say your ankles [TS]

  and do the thing that to do the thing [TS]

  that obi-wan did to Darth Maul at the [TS]

  end of the first film shoot up from [TS]

  below and slice them in half [TS]

  it worked once i also liked them I do [TS]

  kind of like the engine like he stabs [TS]

  Dooku stabs obi-wan and just makes like [TS]

  a hole through his leg and I'm actually [TS]

  well that's probably pretty devastating [TS]

  just like cord the right through their [TS]

  muscle there that's probably important [TS]

  can't move and all that but you're John [TS]

  John's right there's the big pillar that [TS]

  Yoda makes a bad decision which allows [TS]

  due to fly off back-to-back to corisande [TS]

  and and that's making the big the big [TS]

  epic sword fight that culminates the [TS]

  film utterly unnecessary in meaning well [TS]

  at least he didn't kill him though [TS]

  because that if the big fear is they do [TS]

  with Darth Maul thing where there's a [TS]

  guy that sort of in the movie kind of [TS]

  leading up to an end fight and then he [TS]

  goes away like Google was in this movie [TS]

  kind of talks about political stuff [TS]

  makes what makes one talker and speech [TS]

  Toby want to say join me obi-wan says no [TS]

  and then it's do had died there there [TS]

  would be I think it would be worse of [TS]

  course we know what happens in the third [TS]

  movie might as well just died there [TS]

  because it's pointless and we got this [TS]

  weird seem like the Jason was talking [TS]

  about earlier where is it a double bluff [TS]

  know I hate the South wait let me go [TS]

  report to myself master great fooling [TS]

  who are you wanna see right now you're [TS]

  just you're trolling me now that's what [TS]

  you're doing [TS]

  just just just for kicks kicks ok so [TS]

  then the am then the ship's take off [TS]

  with the clone troopers and all that we [TS]

  get the Darth Vader theme at the end the [TS]

  Empire theme and it and the ship's look [TS]

  like the Empire ships and it's like oh [TS]

  haha [TS]

  my plan has been revealed the Empire is [TS]

  on the March oh my god you guys I think [TS]

  I see what's happened [TS]

  hearing I get Republic is turning into [TS]

  the Empire subtle yeah i totally didn't [TS]

  think that would happen but George [TS]

  Lucas's dictionary actually is missing [TS]

  the entry for several yeah it's weird [TS]

  cut to Naboo where a marriage is being [TS]

  held because everybody saw that coming [TS]

  how can you have children if you're not [TS]

  married well it was the next logical [TS]

  step in the relationship was a scene [TS]

  where they get married the script said [TS]

  now that you are you have consummated [TS]

  your above you must be made it as i have [TS]

  three notes for the wedding after like [TS]

  none for the last the previous 15 [TS]

  minutes because you woke up washing over [TS]

  me at this point [TS]

  first of all one thing you can say for [TS]

  the Empire in a very short time they [TS]

  made huge advancements in hand [TS]

  replacement oh yeah is that creepy-ass [TS]

  thing that he's got under his real [TS]

  Terminator her here where yeah I thought [TS]

  that was like just the temp like as a [TS]

  temporary and you put it around your [TS]

  really accurately got it all blinged out [TS]

  though [TS]

  oh yeah that's it is little oldish is [TS]

  very golden china yeah nice yeah i also [TS]

  i think found it odd that for her [TS]

  wedding day Padme chose to wear her one [TS]

  subdued outfit that's how she flies it [TS]

  was a quiet ceremony just the two of [TS]

  them i was shocked to see that she even [TS]

  had such an outfit but there was for my [TS]

  wedding it was a tablecloth and lastly [TS]

  the utterly inept marital kissing at the [TS]

  end is the perfect cherry on top of the [TS]

  six scoop sundae of awkward that is this [TS]

  film my last note from that scene in my [TS]

  last note from the entire movie because [TS]

  this is the last scene of the movie is [TS]

  they're loved they're loved feels [TS]

  neither true nor tragic at this boat [TS]

  were supposed to have that moment of [TS]

  like is then finally love the [TS]

  culmination or the oh but we know this [TS]

  is going to go horribly wrong and so [TS]

  it's like oh they got married [TS]

  ok and then dad did it i found myself [TS]

  wondering if it's a legitimate marriage [TS]

  if you're only Witnesses are two droids [TS]

  I mean our computer can't even sign a [TS]

  marriage license yes but you don't know [TS]

  that maybe has a pan arm you can project [TS]

  Holograms [TS]

  the marriage that's better than signing [TS]

  something Threepio isn't a certified [TS]

  notary as one of his many talents that [TS]

  he had an addition to all this protocol [TS]

  it's it's part of the protocol droid [TS]

  suite of the advantage in centre-back [TS]

  it's a lot like programming moisture [TS]

  vaporators it's true he has his own [TS]

  notary stamp in fact if there's anything [TS]

  a protocol droid was made for its that [TS]

  it's notarizing a wedding is protocol [TS]

  wasn't there someone overseeing the [TS]

  ceremony was just the two of them the [TS]

  droid army some dude in Russia and [TS]

  there's insufficient there's an [TS]

  efficient and efficient who is who is [TS]

  going to keep his mouth shut apparently [TS]

  because this is a secret wedding all the [TS]

  mannequins gonna just murder him [TS]

  afterwards you think the paparazzi would [TS]

  be there like taking pictures of the [TS]

  senator get married but no thanks [TS]

  thanks Randy wasn't lyin in a quiet far [TS]

  off in the Lake Country ceremony with [TS]

  the Naboo rabbi who is going to just [TS]

  keep it quiet nabi rabbi rabbi price [TS]

  came back [TS]

  I'm proud of that that's playing after [TS]

  the rural juror that's never wrap it was [TS]

  my favorite of the Phoenician Kings [TS]

  angry you know my favorite part of this [TS]

  scene was it was the movie is over [TS]

  it never has that John loving span fair [TS]

  kicking in really got me quite so that [TS]

  is a sweet sweet relief [TS]

  I two notes into that i turn the TV off [TS]

  again this was 33 sessions my least [TS]

  favorite is that there is a movie after [TS]

  the after he left the watts [TS]

  I remember the third movie is being [TS]

  better than these other two [TS]

  it's the Goodwin out is not the good [TS]

  ones don't sweat it it's a good way to [TS]

  me it's not only worse [TS]

  no it's totally dark it's awesome it's [TS]

  like Empire it's got a robot with your [TS]

  arms [TS]

  arms but he's again I thought I thought [TS]

  what's-his-name Grievous I thought [TS]

  Grievous was in this movie because of [TS]

  the sort of sameness of the Geonosis [TS]

  something like robots and and the Speak [TS]

  & Spell techno Union guy I like what the [TS]

  green shopping movies almost over isn't [TS]

  it now peace in the next moment [TS]

  nevermind that you're excited that Dooku [TS]

  lives through this one but he's in a [TS]

  dispatch like in the first time I was [TS]

  saying I'm not excited understand like [TS]

  they did with the first movie they had a [TS]

  villain that might have been interested [TS]

  in someone killed immediately in this [TS]

  movie they had a similar arc for a [TS]

  similar villain and they might as well [TS]

  just killed him at the end but you know [TS]

  when I came out of this movie I didn't [TS]

  know he was gonna die in his foreseen [TS]

  and in the next movie [TS]

  I thought maybe you could have an actual [TS]

  Ark with the villages Palpatine is the [TS]

  crappy villain in terms on screen and [TS]

  i'm only ever does is send threatening [TS]

  Holograms and act fake nice to the [TS]

  Senators for no reason you don't need a [TS]

  reason to act nice to people [TS]

  you monster fake-nice forget it John [TS]

  let's do town it's it's croissant [TS]

  yeah especially with his fake [TS]

  recalcitrance oh I do I love the [TS]

  Republic I don't want to have emergency [TS]

  powers [TS]

  no please don't give me powers yeah i'm [TS]

  in fact I don't need them because [TS]

  they're nonsensical and I'm going to [TS]

  tell you what I'm going to do with him [TS]

  so you can just look for that instead I [TS]

  could shoot you right here not a court [TS]

  in this land would convict me with [TS]

  companies all style points [TS]

  he's just like look I could just take [TS]

  this over by force but no I'm gonna have [TS]

  an elaborate plan that involves army to [TS]

  destroy each other and just because I [TS]

  can look there's only two safe there's a [TS]

  degree of difficulty among the shift [TS]

  that doesn't get bored right there has [TS]

  been around for thousands of you can [TS]

  select how many items i stood now [TS]

  well what have we learned nothing [TS]

  I don't need to watch a movie just [TS]

  because you tell me to that's good yeah [TS]

  so here's a question for the palate is [TS]

  this movie worse than the Phantom Menace [TS]

  yes yes an empty attic jacket is and the [TS]

  reason is the Phantom Menace is crap but [TS]

  as the machete ordered i observed it's [TS]

  largely self-contained crap it has [TS]

  precisely zero bearing on anything that [TS]

  comes afterwards so it's a lot easier to [TS]

  pretend that it's not really part of [TS]

  Star Wars I could talk myself into [TS]

  liking Phantom Menace I got nothing on [TS]

  this movie we didn't even mention the [TS]

  the the Death Star cameo yes death star [TS]

  cameo like literally it's literally a [TS]

  cameo that you open up and projects [TS]

  pictures did you bring the super secret [TS]

  plans I gotta make sure these are the [TS]

  right super secret plan so you're going [TS]

  project those yep [TS]

  yeah death star yeah so the plan is ball [TS]

  with a dimple got it but new sort of [TS]

  golf ball that's a good plan i like that [TS]

  plan that can't you send these via [TS]

  interstellar hologram mail that would be [TS]

  way too dangerous [TS]

  they committed them i know so it did [TS]

  people think this is worse than the [TS]

  phantom menace we get my pieces work as [TS]

  it is worse things for us absolutely [TS]

  worse so much worse [TS]

  oh I so my when watching these [TS]

  originally I felt like this was better [TS]

  and now I'm not so sure [TS]

  um I think you know an episode 1 is [TS]

  really bad i know we did it we watched [TS]

  episode two more recently but I think [TS]

  episode 1 is really really bad and this [TS]

  is it's a question is something is [TS]

  something that's really bad worse than [TS]

  something that's incredibly boring yeah [TS]

  i would you rather watch the podrace or [TS]

  an equivalent of stretch from this movie [TS]

  any stretch [TS]

  I can't remember this movie I'll say [TS]

  that I think this one has worse that [TS]

  like the love dialogue is it extra just [TS]

  kind of like yeah poop cherry on top [TS]

  that is just thrown credibly awful but i [TS]

  don't know like if you take out the love [TS]

  dialogue there are some action scenes in [TS]

  this movie like again I would I got [TS]

  sweet relief from having to experience [TS]

  this movie I got to see a little action [TS]

  scene like I Phantom Menace offended me [TS]

  more and maybe it's the charger angle [TS]

  and maybe it's that Anakin but you know [TS]

  the actor that plays him like I didn't [TS]

  agree with the way Anakin was played [TS]

  here I thought it was stupid but at [TS]

  least it was competently whiny was [TS]

  opposed to jail or die [TS]

  I i did I thought that episode 2 is [TS]

  worse but now having seen both of them [TS]

  in recent memory [TS]

  I gotta give the edge to episode 1 at [TS]

  because episode 2 is just super boring [TS]

  and the boring i find more forgivable [TS]

  than the awful nasty i think the boring [TS]

  is what you make Star Wars boring to me [TS]

  is almost a bigger I think it may be [TS]

  bigger crime than making it bad like all [TS]

  right I read back in there but they're [TS]

  both awful they're both awful i just [TS]

  can't decide what I read bad star wars [TS]

  books right like but like to make it [TS]

  like a [TS]

  make me so like I can't even pay [TS]

  attention and maybe because it'll it it [TS]

  leaves my mind after watching it you [TS]

  know i watch this two hours ago I can't [TS]

  remember what the plot was there you go [TS]

  maybe that's why I don't think of it is [TS]

  worse because it does leave my mind [TS]

  completely because it's like it's like [TS]

  it dissolves on your tongue it's just [TS]

  goes away and then it's you forget that [TS]

  you had to like when you're in it it's [TS]

  terrible you're like oh god please make [TS]

  this stop please make it stop but then [TS]

  it just goes away whereas the Phantom [TS]

  Menace of the poop cherry dissolves on [TS]

  your tongue is what you say but by the [TS]

  way it is calling it an animal we've [TS]

  been calling him Anakin consistently but [TS]

  the movie almost always calls him Danny [TS]

  which has to be one of the worst [TS]

  decisions they go back and forth on that [TS]

  but yeah i agree that that I think we [TS]

  took mention that nap in the Phantom s12 [TS]

  but after she dies he's Little Orphan [TS]

  Annie she and it was gonna make Andy oh [TS]

  right now it's it's so but I I i agree [TS]

  whether whether you choose bad or boring [TS]

  i feel like that's kind of a choice [TS]

  because I I think back to some of the [TS]

  Gungan stuff and all the stuff with the [TS]

  Trade Federation and I think there's so [TS]

  much in episode one that I really [TS]

  despise that's just like I don't ever [TS]

  want to see it again and this movie you [TS]

  know it was like Walt it was like [TS]

  wallpaper was in offensive in parts the [TS]

  dialogue was really bad with the sound [TS]

  off it was less bad and you know some of [TS]

  the action stuff is ok but it's boring [TS]

  and kind of and just not it's just kind [TS]

  of there so i think i think you have you [TS]

  have adults doing things like again with [TS]

  you watch with the sound off an adult [TS]

  jumps out of a window and grabs a droid [TS]

  and is a very badly done car chase and [TS]

  shooting and it's just like at least [TS]

  there's people doing things somewhere [TS]

  and phantom menace that is just like [TS]

  that there's nothing going on [TS]

  I'll put it this way Phantom Menace is [TS]

  worse but I resent episode two more just [TS]

  because you episode one came out it was [TS]

  like oh man this is really bad well [TS]

  maybe maybe you got another shot right [TS]

  and there's like no I was not paying [TS]

  attention getting back to the timeline [TS]

  thing after i get when i wanted episode [TS]

  to authenticate you know I had high [TS]

  hopes when I came out of it i was broken [TS]

  I'm like well that's it that's it that's [TS]

  it yeah that's right because that the [TS]

  title of star wars episode 3 as well [TS]

  know when he goes my title of stars [TS]

  every third story with Star Wars hyphen [TS]

  episode 3 colon let's get this over with [TS]

  well for me it was the fact that looking [TS]

  going forward to episode 3 [TS]

  it was the point where i was just [TS]

  thinking like there's all the people who [TS]

  kept being like no no this one's going [TS]

  to be good at like I finally saw the [TS]

  delusion in it does it maybe it's 2 2 [TS]

  out of 3 and like people were telling [TS]

  themselves it was gonna be good i'm like [TS]

  i cannot i can you cannot get me again [TS]

  you've got a movie twice you can I don't [TS]

  know a third time totally broken like [TS]

  there is no chance it's gonna be good i [TS]

  was convinced and it was just like even [TS]

  if it is two out of three it's free of [TS]

  the print I wrote them off because I [TS]

  said you didn't that's it it's over [TS]

  speaking as somebody who didn't care [TS]

  either way because i'm not that invested [TS]

  in the original series 2 is so much [TS]

  worse because I will take i will take [TS]

  bad which at least can be entertaining [TS]

  in a bad sort of way over I can't even [TS]

  watch this movie i literally find this [TS]

  movie unwatchable and it's never more [TS]

  boring than in the action sequences [TS]

  ironically enough I mean that the all [TS]

  the dialogue true in the love scenes is [TS]

  truly horrible but at least I can point [TS]

  and laugh and these action sequences [TS]

  that are just crap flying by one after [TS]

  the other and there's just nothing to [TS]

  hold my interest [TS]

  I can't even watch I literally cannot [TS]

  watch i have to i was sitting there [TS]

  watching these theoretically exciting [TS]

  scenes and I was thinking god I gotta [TS]

  fix that hole downstairs in the wall [TS]

  gotta pick up some spaetzle and other [TS]

  crap and some questions for a podcast I [TS]

  gotta get back to it it's unwatchable [TS]

  what it was I mean is is true that it [TS]

  was harder for me to get through this [TS]

  thing I watched phantom menace in one [TS]

  sitting and this one took three so maybe [TS]

  I'm nicest stuff call me you're starting [TS]

  to win me over that and no it's okay [TS]

  it's all just so painful i come from the [TS]

  opposite side from Steve as a child I [TS]

  care very much about Star Wars and Star [TS]

  Wars sheets and I like Star Wars enough [TS]

  that when the first prequel became in I [TS]

  committed to it talked myself into it [TS]

  lasted over and over Italy Stockholm [TS]

  Syndrome to myself into accepting it [TS]

  I couldn't do that with episode 2 [TS]

  and nothing to get hold it broke us it [TS]

  broke it broke everybody was it if you [TS]

  reckon maybe you're trying to make their [TS]

  episodes 1 yes we were just we were [TS]

  resigned to our fate we understood that [TS]

  this these prequels were never going to [TS]

  be good [TS]

  they're never getting any better Curtis [TS]

  was bad we should feel bad [TS]

  serenity what is your thought about [TS]

  episode 1 vs episode 2 I don't think we [TS]

  heard from you know you didn't and [TS]

  that's it [TS]

  because yeah I I have very little [TS]

  winners about episode 1 episode 2 other [TS]

  than I feel like I was more like some of [TS]

  our other panelists I was more [TS]

  disappointed and episode to episode 1 [TS]

  and I was younger when I saw episode 1 [TS]

  episode 2 so I feel like I can excuse [TS]

  some of episode ones failings on [TS]

  oh I saw it when I was younger and I [TS]

  didn't completely hate it i only [TS]

  partially hated but this one this one is [TS]

  kind of this one actually frustrates me [TS]

  more because there are the glimmers of a [TS]

  good movie in what is irrevocably a [TS]

  horrible horrible film and to see the [TS]

  little bits where I'm like yes I want to [TS]

  see that alternative universe movie I [TS]

  really want this to be what Star Wars [TS]

  prequels look like and then have that [TS]

  not happen just as soul-crushing fool me [TS]

  twice shame on me for me three times [TS]

  we're doing another podcast yeah yeah we [TS]

  don't mention that yet because i think [TS]

  it would be not good for our mental [TS]

  health will bring it we need a break to [TS]

  regain our strength we do we need to we [TS]

  need your strength i will go to the [TS]

  desert [TS]

  no i hate's and I do have to ask did any [TS]

  of you who watched a phantom menace in [TS]

  the theaters seven or eight times [TS]

  watching this more than once in the [TS]

  theater how I think I saw it while you [TS]

  did learn something in the intro yeah [TS]

  but I must have watched it a second time [TS]

  when it came out on DVD yet I've seen it [TS]

  more than once [TS]

  episode 3 although i claim i liked it [TS]

  more I only ever watched the one of the [TS]

  theater that I've only seen I've only [TS]

  seen episode 3 once I've seen episode 2 [TS]

  probably three or four times because i [TS]

  watched it then I watched on DVD [TS]

  like I said I like the Camino stuff more [TS]

  than i did this last time and i watch it [TS]

  with my kids because they did have seen [TS]

  that they haven't seen episode 3 either [TS]

  so I play [TS]

  the lego game several times yeah like [TS]

  yeah I think I feel like I've seen more [TS]

  of episode 2 and lego games then i have [TS]

  i think i've watched below two maybe [TS]

  three or four times it's like knowing a [TS]

  movie from the Mad Magazine I someone [TS]

  half a dozen times including like three [TS]

  or four times in the theater I saw [TS]

  episode 2 and 3 once each in the theater [TS]

  so like John said broken [TS]

  yeah I've seen them both price and I [TS]

  think that's enough [TS]

  yeah i agree i think we've done our job [TS]

  and so i'm going to call it into this [TS]

  very long very long podcast about [TS]

  episode to leave once again gone longer [TS]

  than the movie but you know and that's [TS]

  hard to believe because this is one long [TS]

  line and felt let me tell you we we are [TS]

  also more entertaining than the movie [TS]

  hey I said that also hard to believe I [TS]

  know and yet there it is [TS]

  alright so I'm going to thank my guests [TS]

  for spending all this time talking about [TS]

  a movie they never ever ever have to see [TS]

  again and those people are serenity [TS]

  called well thank you very much thank [TS]

  you [TS]

  you survived I did I did somehow good [TS]

  for you but for us [TS]

  good morning are you still out there I'm [TS]

  just barely alive [TS]

  good thank you for being here it's i [TS]

  wish i could say it was a pleasure Jason [TS]

  which I could I know I know you do monte [TS]

  Ashley thank you very much for being [TS]

  here i mentioned this one [TS]

  Boing sound effect that wouldn't it was [TS]

  on screen really made me angry [TS]

  you call this a diplomatic solution [TS]

  multi I do not [TS]

  its aggressive diplomacy Steve let's [TS]

  love dialogue barf [TS]

  how are you thanks for being here all [TS]

  Syracuse's fault he's jealous he's [TS]

  holding me back and John siracusa thanks [TS]

  for being here i'm glad you did it [TS]

  I'm glad you didn't big off I had a [TS]

  nightmare that you're like nope can't do [TS]

  it sorry no III didn't know I was gonna [TS]

  make it I think I better get started now [TS]

  watching episode 3 and five min 200 [TS]

  hundred twenty-six one minute segments [TS]

  you know separated by week of recovery [TS]

  after each show maybe just frame by [TS]

  frame [TS]

  that's a good one John it's cool no no [TS]

  it's not [TS]

  uh it's and anyway let's talk more about [TS]

  trade disputes let's do that we can at [TS]

  least say seen some actual trading to [TS]

  explain what they were disputing bitch [TS]

  betta our wires of the spice coming from [TS]

  this isn't a frank herbert normal [TS]

  the spice must flow through Naboo [TS]

  apparently it comes from the liquid core [TS]

  of the planet [TS]

  yeah they say that Naboo has no exports [TS]

  whatsoever and they rely on imports but [TS]

  I look at the planet it's a green lush [TS]

  planet how do they not grow a million [TS]

  things vision mill closed giant tix [TS]

  there's Gungan juice on everything you [TS]

  don't want it no it's Jar Jar Jar he's [TS]

  poisoned everything it comes down to [TS]

  georgia alright well that's it we're [TS]

  done i hope you're happy everybody out [TS]

  there we really know what we do for you [TS]

  what because we love anyway that's it [TS]

  for this air and uh when we'll be back [TS]

  for episode 3 [TS]

  I don't know we have to consult our [TS]

  doctors until then thanks for listening [TS]

  goodbye may the force be with you stay [TS]

  away from sand [TS]

  I don't like sand but don't like sand [TS]

  saying is pretty soft guys course it's [TS]

  right off its irritating saying isn't [TS]

  rough and gets in between your toes and [TS]

  it gets everywhere I've been to the [TS]

  beach sand is nice and soft you can fall [TS]

  down on it you know when you're when [TS]

  you're starting off a pick-up line [TS]

  you're going to end with smooth and soft [TS]

  yeah I really don't want to throw in [TS]

  sand in the underwear into the increase [TS]

  to like you [TS]

  I think it's very telling that line is [TS]

  actually I don't like sand and yet [TS]

  everybody remembers it as I hate hate [TS]

  sand because character car its character [TS]

  anybody's seen the movie they're trying [TS]

  to get him some kind of strong emotion [TS]

  which he ought to be expressing at that [TS]

  point the movie but is that's it's not [TS]

  everybody gets everywhere haha that's my [TS]

  funny line aside vaguely dislike this [TS]

  session and I basically like you not [TS]

  married [TS]

  let's get married ok and Natalie you [TS]

  just stand there like a statue [TS]

  good good no expression good keep doing [TS]

  that he's gonna touch you don't drink a [TS]

  white good okay try your best sweetheart [TS]

  all right guard we're done [TS]