Roderick on the Line

Ep. 72: "Diddling is the MacGuffin"

 

  hello [TS]

  I John hi Merlin I know it's you because [TS]

  i was just talking to on the phone you [TS]

  sure yeah pretty sure i was out doing [TS]

  help me do some troubleshooting a [TS]

  computer [TS]

  yeah you were i had see I had to reboot [TS]

  my USB because my firewire was who had [TS]

  forgotten that it was a friend [TS]

  oh and you you you told me that I should [TS]

  unplug everything and then then plug it [TS]

  all back in [TS]

  I to be honest with you i think i'm a [TS]

  mostly understand what you're saying but [TS]

  I'm not really a technologist could you [TS]

  give that to me again pick somebody's [TS]

  well so what happened there are better [TS]

  pick somebody got used to work with a [TS]

  guy [TS]

  my boss was always smarter than me in [TS]

  every conceivable way and i would go [TS]

  into him [TS]

  you know how i get right oh I do yeah [TS]

  we're going to his office who is it [TS]

  because you just tell your family too [TS]

  and i would misuse like have to say [TS]

  javascript yeah yeah but like you know [TS]

  me like I will go in and and in my [TS]

  pre-medicated days especially i would [TS]

  give him this [TS]

  you know in missus of of having [TS]

  understood data [TS]

  haha and and Richard would leaned back [TS]

  in his chair any positive for a minute [TS]

  and ego can you give that to me getting [TS]

  eggs and bunnies a and I say you know [TS]

  what I i'm kinda down morning I don't [TS]

  know what I'm talking about is your fine [TS]

  just explain it just explain out i'll [TS]

  understand i'll figure out the technical [TS]

  stuff tell me what you want the webpage [TS]

  to that well as you have said over and [TS]

  over and over [TS]

  turn your computer off and then turn it [TS]

  back on [TS]

  isn't that is not just like oh alright [TS]

  and in this case I needed to actually [TS]

  unplug all the devices and plug them [TS]

  back in but it's the same thing [TS]

  well I I i get the sense that you're you [TS]

  know what fuck it you're kind of I know [TS]

  you're like this and i'm definitely like [TS]

  this where like I am or I'm like cock [TS]

  and gets owned one gets so mad about how [TS]

  fucking stupid your fucking computers [TS]

  started a curse John [TS]

  but last night you were using your [TS]

  headphones at 2am and everything was [TS]

  copacetic get up today it's Alex Van [TS]

  Halen 60th birthday and you can even [TS]

  make your computer work and that's crazy [TS]

  frustrating and in my experience that's [TS]

  when I go off the rails [TS]

  yeah that is doing all kinds of crazy [TS]

  and we think pong lots of crazy voodoo [TS]

  shit start taking things apart the blue [TS]

  the Voodoo that the Haitian voodoo [TS]

  priests that listen to our podcast are [TS]

  so bad right now that you are merging [TS]

  the name of their religion their going [TS]

  to get together with the Scientologists [TS]

  in the Santeria practice practitioners [TS]

  anywhere we're gonna get a fucking low [TS]

  tone chicken in the middle low don't [TS]

  jected to go to get a lot of chocolate [TS]

  chicken tikka China and Chinese look at [TS]

  that haha you know the thing that makes [TS]

  me mad right now is I've got this [TS]

  bluetooth keyboard that you recommended [TS]

  that I get that it's a wonderful thing I [TS]

  really liked everything about it except [TS]

  every time I i sit down at my computer [TS]

  it says the bluetooth setup assistant [TS]

  shows up and says I cannot find your [TS]

  bluetooth keyboard and then the keyboard [TS]

  then it does find the keyboard who but [TS]

  there's this there's this like [TS]

  interlocutor shin for 4 30 seconds or [TS]

  I'm sitting at the thing and I have to [TS]

  look at this [TS]

  I have to look at this box pop up that I [TS]

  know is wrong and the fact that the [TS]

  boxes that's the problem [TS]

  the fact that the box is wrong that [TS]

  there's no way to say there's no way to [TS]

  type into the machine or say into the [TS]

  microphone [TS]

  listen computer figure it out it's going [TS]

  to be the same everyday everyday this [TS]

  thing is there and every day you're [TS]

  going to find it and every day you're [TS]

  fucking wrong sorry I'm cursing like you [TS]

  every day you're wrong mr. question has [TS]

  happened more than once [TS]

  happens every time ok give me just a [TS]

  second here right we're gonna fix [TS]

  something you're gonna tell me down i [TS]

  cannot plug it because it's Bluetooth [TS]

  where are you i'm sorry my binder I [TS]

  going to the party are you okay [TS]

  mmm is your computer mac or pc haha [TS]

  it's a dell dude I got a dell have you [TS]

  run recent software updates just ensure [TS]

  mac or pc is up-to-date [TS]

  yes hmm i even hot plug x USB did you [TS]

  get that to me again in pigs and bunch [TS]

  haha night I know exactly what you mean [TS]

  and I used to feel that you know you [TS]

  know software has in large part gotten [TS]

  so much better over over the years that [TS]

  it's got more standardized especially on [TS]

  a Mac but it used to drive me crazy you [TS]

  drive me crazy when i get a dialog box [TS]

  and I didn't like any of the options [TS]

  it was making me mad we're certain makes [TS]

  me so mad it's the problem with the with [TS]

  the internet internet helpmate what's [TS]

  that called the Ombudsman the Robert [TS]

  rice [TS]

  yeah Robert Wright show in your computer [TS]

  the one that says I am trying to solve [TS]

  your internet connectivity problem [TS]

  letting guess yeah it has no useful mr. [TS]

  all it just tells you what you already [TS]

  know it makes you jump through like [TS]

  seven different hoops and then it's like [TS]

  you can't connect to the internet [TS]

  partner John is part of the problem is [TS]

  we've both been to college [TS]

  yes and we've done stuff and we don't oh [TS]

  we don't like being told stupid shit [TS]

  without having a chance to defend [TS]

  ourselves [TS]

  thank you don't you think I don't like [TS]

  being told stupid chip [TS]

  full stop I'll tell you what drives me [TS]

  crazy right now buddy you go to one of [TS]

  those stupid goddamn web pages where you [TS]

  just want to go look at the stupid [TS]

  goddamn article and you get a jump start [TS]

  missing a JavaScript pop-up window that [TS]

  says would you like to get our iphone [TS]

  app with subscription for free fitness [TS]

  magazine and you have to search and [TS]

  everything like button blacked out [TS]

  behind ya and you can't read anything [TS]

  and then have a search search for the X [TS]

  yeah and where's the here's what the [TS]

  excess it says it says something like [TS]

  incredibly passive-aggressive like yes [TS]

  I'm ready to be a value consumer or No [TS]

  thank you no thank you i'd like to be [TS]

  reminded about this later [TS]

  yes i do not i'm not thanking you i do [TS]

  not want that to be a nice i'm thanking [TS]

  you for nothing [TS]

  I want the third option to be no fuck [TS]

  you fuck you in the eye javascript go [TS]

  the fuck away [TS]

  it's so frustrating i don't like I you [TS]

  know what it is i get i'm kind of [TS]

  paraphrasing my friend scott simpson [TS]

  here but I get blamed for enough things [TS]

  in my life as it is there are so many [TS]

  things that i have screwed up by a lot [TS]

  of things [TS]

  sorry I blame me for a lot of what you [TS]

  should i'm a mess but you know because I [TS]

  screw up so many things i'm a little bit [TS]

  sensitive about somebody including a [TS]

  computer pop-up window [TS]

  yeah I'm telling me that the settings [TS]

  aren't right when I know it's not my [TS]

  formal here here let me just run this by [TS]

  you [TS]

  so I do not have not I have not updated [TS]

  adobe flash what you might call it and [TS]

  every time i go on to say I go to these [TS]

  I go to websites that deal the tills [TS]

  about your research i think that's one [TS]

  of my reasons to pete townsend of our [TS]

  generation start my Pete Townsend [TS]

  research i go to websites that employ [TS]

  flash and for four months every time I [TS]

  go to these websites i get this adobe [TS]

  the window that says you you haven't [TS]

  updated flash and you need to and I [TS]

  think about it and I'm like the only [TS]

  reason i would need to update flash to [TS]

  look at this website is so that the [TS]

  animated ads on the side of the screen [TS]

  can can annoy me with their with their [TS]

  Tourette's like flashing and so I have [TS]

  noted i I can't think of another reason [TS]

  to that I employ flash so i have not [TS]

  updated it well today after I did my [TS]

  latest software update this is [TS]

  fascinating radio by the way [TS]

  oh no this is important materials were [TS]

  getting at something much deeper than [TS]

  the pop-up today the the with that I get [TS]

  a different kind of window that pops up [TS]

  and says you have not updated adobe [TS]

  flash for so long now [TS]

  now we are just blocking flash content [TS]

  from your computer and on the side of [TS]

  the websites that i visit all of the all [TS]

  of the places where which are [TS]

  advertisements are now just like broken [TS]

  link sign and I could not be happier [TS]

  like there is no it is it it feels like [TS]

  a hack like is that all it took [TS]

  justjust [TS]

  sable flash and now I don't know now I [TS]

  can just look at websites and they're [TS]

  not screaming at me right [TS]

  like thank God why why do I not have [TS]

  that in on everything why do I not have [TS]

  Wi-Fi not disabled it on my phone so [TS]

  that when I go when I click through on [TS]

  Twitter to a link to read an article i'm [TS]

  not as in there was a very oh there's a [TS]

  video somebody talking about [TS]

  incontinence that pops up [TS]

  I don't want it and now now i have i [TS]

  have successfully I have successfully [TS]

  blocked broken flash it's a lot Johnson [TS]

  war of attrition is that means if i go [TS]

  to some like 2002 indie rockers on an [TS]

  updated website i'm not going to see the [TS]

  animation couple of a little clown with [TS]

  some balloon skip intro i always thought [TS]

  if I were the president of adobe i would [TS]

  i would want to be named skip intro [TS]

  skipping skip intro would be such a good [TS]

  punk rock made you know what's great [TS]

  about that also is like it'sit's is [TS]

  exactly that kind of guy that you meet [TS]

  who goes and you sure you've encountered [TS]

  this guy this guy goes like for taking [TS]

  the time to roll [TS]

  come on down here is a chat let me let [TS]

  me tell you a little bit about what I've [TS]

  been up to [TS]

  ah skip intro yeah just sounds like [TS]

  every every person I meet come home i [TS]

  got that that is my comic con is a [TS]

  variety of reasons i'm looking at [TS]

  comic-con remember me razzing about [TS]

  comic-con I want you your tick you're [TS]

  telling me that you're thinking to go [TS]

  into coming well you know it's about [TS]

  your daughter is a confirmed comic-con [TS]

  comer comic shop copper haha she can [TS]

  this complication [TS]

  she has today she is a unicorn prints [TS]

  and her friend who is a girl who's she [TS]

  catches sometimes now is a princess [TS]

  oh yeah oh man can't tell you how much [TS]

  this is a new rail because how much I [TS]

  love my kids going I'm going to miss it [TS]

  we I dropped off this morning and this [TS]

  awesome little boy you know he's very [TS]

  very boyish boy but he's got along here [TS]

  he shows up today he's wearing blue [TS]

  jeans and a rugby shirt [TS]

  and a fuchsia giant flower headband in [TS]

  his hair [TS]

  uh I woke up and I go name of kid [TS]

  you look awesome and his end of course [TS]

  my daughter is dressed as a boy because [TS]

  she's a unicorn prince and I said yeah [TS]

  you know elysa uniform prints today and [TS]

  and I said god you look awesome and his [TS]

  mom turns me and goes he wanted to be [TS]

  pretty today [TS]

  oh don't you know your guy you know [TS]

  they're gonna be in kindergarten and [TS]

  people are gonna like throw paste at him [TS]

  for wearing stuff in their hair and [TS]

  that'sthat's I don't know it's the [TS]

  modern-day community in 2003 I'm talk [TS]

  about 10 years ago [TS]

  you know I was on tour with death cab [TS]

  for cutie and we played in burlington [TS]

  vermont one night and it was a it was [TS]

  cold it was cold and i went down to the [TS]

  to the main street of a Burlington which [TS]

  is like a gypsy bizarre it's like a it's [TS]

  like a little bit tame it says they're [TS]

  not station are there Roma I'm sorry [TS]

  gypsy people Roma people they won't be [TS]

  here for long do I am and I'm an [TS]

  old-fashioned person and I still refer [TS]

  to as gypsies and i know its offensive [TS]

  at real gypsies walk single file to [TS]

  disguise their numbers and interesting [TS]

  they they put their shoe print in the [TS]

  shoes of those blasters are are too [TS]

  precise for her gypsy but as i'm [TS]

  downtown and you you know it's one of [TS]

  these places where you can get you can [TS]

  get homemade almond butter and you can [TS]

  get you know like help underwear and at [TS]

  and there's this there's a little kiosk [TS]

  that selling scarves and I needed a [TS]

  scarf and i bought a scarf and it was [TS]

  the and i bought the pink scarf because [TS]

  it was the one that appealed to me and I [TS]

  come back to the venue and on the way [TS]

  back you know this is Burlington Vermont [TS]

  this isn't like this is Oklahoma City [TS]

  that's that's deep fleece and NPR [TS]

  country [TS]

  yeah yeah and i'm walking back to the [TS]

  venue and then so on the trip to the [TS]

  venue and then at the venue you know no [TS]

  fewer than six people comment kind of [TS]

  with the right [TS]

  that i'm wearing a pink scarf so that's [TS]

  how it is in his hand and I had not [TS]

  occurred to me when i bought it that [TS]

  there would be any that that would be [TS]

  any kind of signal or that it would in [TS]

  any way be too confusing for people that [TS]

  I had chosen the pink one is simply [TS]

  because the pink one was the handsomest [TS]

  of the scarves is it these are strangers [TS]

  were talking about these are people on [TS]

  the street and then when i arrived at [TS]

  the venue there are people i'm [TS]

  interacting within the course of of the [TS]

  work that I am doing about to put on a [TS]

  rock shell and everybody's like nice [TS]

  pink scarf em and I was like thank you [TS]

  it is a nice pink scarf and what's [TS]

  amazing to me Marla and maybe it's [TS]

  something about the color of pink that [TS]

  this pink scarf is because it's very [TS]

  pink but i still wear the scarf and i [TS]

  still get comments from people like nice [TS]

  pink scarf em and i think is pink really [TS]

  is it is it such an off-limits color for [TS]

  an adult man that you cannot have one [TS]

  item of pink flare that it doesn't freak [TS]

  somewhere like a pink polo shirt I think [TS]

  I by wear pink all up and down because [TS]

  pink is a handsome color represents a [TS]

  very handsome coffee of the rain [TS]

  sometimes you have the right skin tone [TS]

  especially big fella like you know I [TS]

  think it's a nice way to soften your [TS]

  look with troubles me though and I don't [TS]

  think about some heat at all although I [TS]

  feel like soften em is a little bit of a [TS]

  gender normative always like saying [TS]

  somebody's fat [TS]

  yeah you don't say think it's a soft [TS]

  pink is optic I said some I said [TS]

  somebody was a Nancy the other day oh [TS]

  dear [TS]

  and I got a bunch of raised eyebrows [TS]

  Nancy I wish not like I wish you could [TS]

  pick our listeners come on man see he's [TS]

  our generalization see Johnson some time [TS]

  we're gonna we're gonna have to have a [TS]

  program where we really really boil it [TS]

  down and have a discussion about the [TS]

  word no I think we would just sit and be [TS]

  racist and sexist all we would be we [TS]

  would do that for an hour and everybody [TS]

  will hate us forever on purpose we would [TS]

  deliberately try to impress people now I [TS]

  I unintentionally thought about [TS]

  semiotics this morning and I had to set [TS]

  it aside [TS]

  I said leave it [TS]

  now i'm thinking about the troubles that [TS]

  you're now you're in a safe space [TS]

  yeah it signifies a safe space this is [TS]

  the difference but but I as I sit here [TS]

  now [TS]

  what troubles me about that is yes [TS]

  obviously there's this whole like you're [TS]

  a giant fag thing but what also troubles [TS]

  me is now that's what that's what [TS]

  they're saying but what troubles me [TS]

  about it is that whole like and this is [TS]

  what I don't want my daughter and her [TS]

  friend with the fuchsia hair to have to [TS]

  face future hair thing is uh is this [TS]

  whole like oh and you drop this thing [TS]

  you don't even say you look like a [TS]

  homosexual and that's bad [TS]

  they're not even saying what they're [TS]

  really thinking they're they're leaving [TS]

  something in the air and I I think I [TS]

  feel pretty sure that this drives you [TS]

  nuts when something is left in the air [TS]

  and addressed [TS]

  I don't like the left in the air [TS]

  unaddressed now you should feel bad [TS]

  about something then I don't have the [TS]

  stones to actually tell you you should [TS]

  feel bad about you know that's why I [TS]

  carry a tennis racket everywhere is it [TS]

  waits on it doesn't it say you know that [TS]

  I trained with one it with weights is it [TS]

  pink it is big it's a pink graphite [TS]

  tennis racket a nice i just i just give [TS]

  him a bunk right my sweet spot can make [TS]

  it satisfying pull and if you need to [TS]

  you can always turn it sideways and [TS]

  really give them give them a serious [TS]

  breach of the plateau [TS]

  well your sister what would this came up [TS]

  the other day because of the because of [TS]

  the new movement i guess it's not new [TS]

  but it's a relatively new movement which [TS]

  is the part of the polyamorous rights [TS]

  God the part that polyamorous people and [TS]

  that is a word that I object to do not [TS]

  believe that first of all polyamorous is [TS]

  a word at all but second of all it's a [TS]

  terrible way of describing [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  the this this class of people but the [TS]

  polyamorous are three cats probably [TS]

  Greek right now it's like to cut to the [TS]

  combination of Greek and Latin and that [TS]

  is what makes it [TS]

  yeah i mean Strunk and white chapter 1 [TS]

  come on can't come up with something can [TS]

  we just call wife-swapping is that you [TS]

  can't do that anymore that normative [TS]

  well no but this is the finger isn't [TS]

  swapping part of the poly philly acts no [TS]

  no I no take-backs no Indian giving well [TS]

  they want to be in it the multiple [TS]

  relationships simultaneously it's not [TS]

  that they want to be that this is the [TS]

  thing that the this is really not a [TS]

  choice say that they are that they're [TS]

  born this way she's like philly x [TS]

  probably philly access because puff [TS]

  polyamory is like two minutes [TS]

  that's that's right then you're saying [TS]

  it's it's a choice it's not you this is [TS]

  how i am let it begin with me and [TS]

  so-and-so weekend for the poly philly [TS]

  acts and I said nothing because I get it [TS]

  on and they came for the people in [TS]

  bathrobes and I said nothing and so what [TS]

  what rights are being scotched what [TS]

  Felix here's what happened the the great [TS]

  American dan savage went online at some [TS]

  point recently and said in response to [TS]

  people writing him he said I don't think [TS]

  that that like okay I hate the word but [TS]

  I don't think polyamory is a is a thing [TS]

  that you are born with i think it is a [TS]

  choice that you make tents habits that [TS]

  that dan savage said wow I bet he got [TS]

  some notes because the because people [TS]

  were writing him and saying in response [TS]

  to advise he was giving people they were [TS]

  saying i'm born this way and and poly [TS]

  amorous rights are equivalent and our [TS]

  struggle for recognition and for [TS]

  acceptance is equivalent to the gay [TS]

  rights struggle which is equivalent to [TS]

  the Civil Rights which is equivalent to [TS]

  the civil rights struggle struggle so [TS]

  everyone has been a slave basically [TS]

  everyone has been living in slavery and [TS]

  now we are that there's this cascading [TS]

  we are in in the in the the middle of [TS]

  the Niagara of recognition that people [TS]

  are born [TS]

  as they are mm and everybody should be [TS]

  everybody should be entitled to you know [TS]

  that this is the same sort of its it's [TS]

  literally a 200 know it's a 400-year [TS]

  legacy of forced labor and having your [TS]

  children taken away its it 400 years [TS]

  people suffered because of their in [TS]

  their those cultures built-in inability [TS]

  to allow them to love various persons [TS]

  right and so where's my parade [TS]

  so 10 so damn has been you know [TS]

  wrestling with this because he does [TS]

  because he's a he is kind of the Locust [TS]

  Point in America at least four people [TS]

  for this kind of conversation you know [TS]

  Dan is like always at the forefront of [TS]

  gay rights [TS]

  well you know what I mean this is one [TS]

  case where that word that word I think [TS]

  works very well when you say he's sort [TS]

  of a thought leader in the in the like [TS]

  the whole queer movement the whole [TS]

  before we add another word to to LGBT [TS]

  WXYZ that queer and generally people who [TS]

  are mean by using that incorrectly I [TS]

  think I don't know what that is that's [TS]

  as part of that's right that's the way [TS]

  that we were we were taught [TS]

  I don't I don't know if queer is still [TS]

  acceptable because i think it's really [TS]

  acceptable i feel like the kids will [TS]

  know III but I feel like it was really [TS]

  acceptable in in 96 and kids now are [TS]

  rewriting the rules every day it's [TS]

  referring first race up about what [TS]

  language is acceptable you know what I [TS]

  mean like there are 21 year olds out [TS]

  there who are dictating what language is [TS]

  it isn't is not acceptable and I'm [TS]

  afraid that'll work out great i'm afraid [TS]

  that i am not all of be RSS feed the key [TS]

  you read the trades but you got to do i [TS]

  do there's there's this great there's [TS]

  this great guy in England who publishes [TS]

  at an e-zine called worldwide words [TS]

  where every week he goes in he does like [TS]

  a deep etymology of a few different [TS]

  words i love that stuff and in and it's [TS]

  not a I think you might have a website [TS]

  but this just shows up in my email [TS]

  he just sends out an email blast but [TS]

  once a week where is like the derivation [TS]

  of the word [TS]

  you know the city and he really will you [TS]

  get you'll get all the way into all like [TS]

  he'll find the earliest citation of the [TS]

  earliest use of a word and and and kind [TS]

  of walk us all the way back to where it [TS]

  came from but anyway so the the [TS]

  struggles of the polyamorous um I've [TS]

  been I've been turning it over and over [TS]

  in my mind both because but because i [TS]

  feel like we are we're fast arriving at [TS]

  the singularity of Rights where it's [TS]

  like a identity politics great GU yeah [TS]

  we're who we are [TS]

  if if we are if we are abandoning the [TS]

  idea of nurture and all like trending [TS]

  toward this born this way born this way [TS]

  born this way [TS]

  I mean I definitely feel like a lot of [TS]

  my problems in life in interacting with [TS]

  other people are the result of traits [TS]

  that i was born with you know what I [TS]

  mean like mind my nature is such that i [TS]

  can I i look at my grand my grandfather [TS]

  and his life and my mother in her life i [TS]

  look back in my family and I see these [TS]

  traits expressed in a way that i do not [TS]

  feel I was taught but rather that I came [TS]

  I came equipped with this kind of [TS]

  personality even and so and and that [TS]

  personality has definitely affected the [TS]

  way i have i have interacted with other [TS]

  ppl the success I've had in the world [TS]

  and although i don't want to parade [TS]

  I do feel like over the course of the [TS]

  last 20 years i have felt sick [TS]

  increasingly less like a freak and more [TS]

  like a type right so the and and so and [TS]

  that has given me a certain freedom [TS]

  because I say listen I am this type i am [TS]

  introverted i am i am i'm a loner but [TS]

  I'm also a social introverted so that's [TS]

  why it's confusing to you why [TS]

  I want to come home with you tonight but [TS]

  I don't want to stay the night [TS]

  understand your and i think i can see [TS]

  why this is confusing to you and you're [TS]

  saying like you came home with me now [TS]

  stay the night and I'm like gotta go but [TS]

  it's not your fault where the rights for [TS]

  the monomers for the nano amorous I'm a [TS]

  type understand and there are a lot of [TS]

  people i think on the internet who [TS]

  himself identify as asexual I like [TS]

  Morrissey like Morrissey who are who are [TS]

  similarly liberated by the recognition [TS]

  that they that they have a group that [TS]

  they are a type they're not a freak [TS]

  they're just they trend toward asexual [TS]

  on the on the great like globular graph [TS]

  of human types but so I so I feel the I [TS]

  feel the polyamorous out there I really [TS]

  feel them party really sick push my long [TS]

  tongue and there they are there they're [TS]

  living in a world where monogamy is the [TS]

  is the mass right [TS]

  monogamy is is unquestionably and [TS]

  monogamy is the man is the man and it [TS]

  and monogamy is not it's not just a [TS]

  socially determined demand monogamy is [TS]

  that is the type and the choice of the [TS]

  majority and yet here these people are [TS]

  and they and I think probably [TS]

  legitimately say I never ever felt a [TS]

  different way then that I want to have [TS]

  two wives or that i want to be it i want [TS]

  to be in simultaneous a simultaneously [TS]

  caring loving relationships with [TS]

  multiple people and now i want my cute [TS]

  and I want my civil rights and human [TS]

  rights but what [TS]

  ok i stipulate this is your topic not [TS]

  mine and I don't want to get involved i [TS]

  don't have to argue with that lady that [TS]

  always wants to argue with us you have [TS]

  to take care of that for us who wants to [TS]

  argue with me i must have I must block [TS]

  the ball moving on the the 3x1 okay [TS]

  first of all I i would like you to the [TS]

  extent possible to help me understand [TS]

  what rights are being denied [TS]

  these people but i would also like to [TS]

  say yes i I'm I'm the problem because [TS]

  I'm the man literally it's my name but [TS]

  but uh but it also then always [TS]

  interesting to me like I've said this [TS]

  before but i always wish there were a [TS]

  word [TS]

  besides I wish they were a distinction [TS]

  between for example an atheist and an [TS]

  anti theist or you know what I mean like [TS]

  I think I think that's problematic that [TS]

  atheists is is used for somebody like [TS]

  Richard Dawkins characters I don't think [TS]

  he's an atheist I think he's an [TS]

  antifreeze anti-theist agreed and an [TS]

  atheist to me should somebody somebody [TS]

  it's it's a movie equivalent of saying [TS]

  like I'm an a strawberry and like you [TS]

  know what you're like I don't eat [TS]

  strawberries like they're out there [TS]

  maybe but I don't you know what I mean [TS]

  it's not you are ambivalent to go doing [TS]

  you identify by what you are not [TS]

  yes for myself for myself as the Grand [TS]

  agreed when you when you determine your [TS]

  your politics and rights based on what [TS]

  you are not i think you're not on the [TS]

  road to empowerment agreed you're you're [TS]

  on the road to systematically mindful e [TS]

  marginalizing yourself go Maryland go to [TS]

  your tactic is your topic [TS]

  no no I like it and that but i think [TS]

  it's a good thing it's a condition of [TS]

  our modern times we are we are and i [TS]

  think i'd tried to get into this with [TS]

  you once and God and the talk about sex [TS]

  gross you out no and you didn't you [TS]

  close your ears and then and then you [TS]

  started talking about your night sex- [TS]

  i'm talking about your fucking sex [TS]

  negative i don't want to hear about all [TS]

  your make-believe orgasms on Twitter and [TS]

  all of your you're eating ice cream and [TS]

  playing with your hitachi you know what [TS]

  keep it in your pants Johnny you know [TS]

  that that's my feeling [TS]

  yamaguchi Tom that was my little pets [TS]

  you gotta have accepted a little you [TS]

  gotta catch em all right but bigger logs [TS]

  is that related to politics i'm not sure [TS]

  i think it's it's a it's a Pikachu bless [TS]

  you [TS]

  nobody living in the downtown as i have [TS]

  done for many years living in the [TS]

  downtown of a western city and and and i [TS]

  wanna i don't want to derail this [TS]

  and I was just in ohio and boy oh hi oh [TS]

  is different than which is which part [TS]

  I was in I was in the akron-canton [TS]

  Cleveland axis the Cuyahoga River Valley [TS]

  and a lot of riding lawnmowers a lot of [TS]

  leaf blowers who a lot of women like [TS]

  middle-aged women with wedge haircuts [TS]

  you know when sharing that is sure I [TS]

  know ledge [TS]

  yeah but anyway so living here in the [TS]

  West you know for many years I have [TS]

  interacted with people who have who were [TS]

  self-identifying as freaky or that they [TS]

  that they were not interested in vanilla [TS]

  if you know what I'm saying we're not [TS]

  interested in a vanilla lifestyle they [TS]

  were interested in a freaky lifestyle [TS]

  and interacting with some of these [TS]

  people as I do as a researcher and has a [TS]

  man as a as a rock musician [TS]

  sometimes I would be a I would find [TS]

  myself as part of my research back in [TS]

  their lair in their cave so [TS]

  anthropologically just there you can [TS]

  observe them in their natural [TS]

  environment [TS]

  yeah just there's a researcher and there [TS]

  to see because you know freaky people [TS]

  are freaky are people too and yes and as [TS]

  a self-identified a queer or freak [TS]

  positive person i was there at you know [TS]

  as an is-3 with everything you've [TS]

  decided you are not sort of sort of like [TS]

  a UN observer and spread you got like a [TS]

  blue helmet and you're like us writer at [TS]

  the Central American election in a way i [TS]

  did have a blue helmet but I sounds in [TS]

  anyway so I but you get into those [TS]

  situations and you get in you get [TS]

  engaged with these people in their in [TS]

  their multifarious ways and and in most [TS]

  cases i discovered that the freakiness [TS]

  was not a was not superior to vanilla it [TS]

  was not like being anti vanilla being [TS]

  not vanilla was not the same as being [TS]

  like somehow having an evolved sexuality [TS]

  or evolved a set of tastes it was simply [TS]

  like it was it was largely defined by [TS]

  what it wasn't [TS]

  and this was you know this is my [TS]

  complaint about punk rock too but I'm [TS]

  not going to talk about me anymore let [TS]

  me more and and I did feel like people [TS]

  were getting in it into smaller and [TS]

  smaller groups [TS]

  it's like that it's like when we were in [TS]

  high school there were you were eat if [TS]

  you like metal you were a metalhead and [TS]

  now I imagine if you went to high school [TS]

  today there would be like 40 different [TS]

  splinter metal group some social groups [TS]

  and the and the but the death metal kids [TS]

  and the you know and the classic Swedish [TS]

  Chef is Swedish or Norwegian exactly and [TS]

  nobody can nobody killed melodic death [TS]

  metal already very very different around [TS]

  the core campfire of metal there now [TS]

  isn't that a goddamn shame you just [TS]

  can't sit there and listen to some iron [TS]

  maiden like a gentleman and and and i [TS]

  have this problem i listen to listen to [TS]

  certain certain threads of nu-metal and [TS]

  I'm like and I don't mean no I metal I [TS]

  mean like because of the german band [TS]

  ring and i think this isn't metal this [TS]

  is just this is like this is metal [TS]

  sounds and metal parts either yet you [TS]

  could hook up a Volkswagen to a boss [TS]

  pedal and listen to it turnover and it [TS]

  would sound basically the same i like [TS]

  that idea [TS]

  could you hook up a Volkswagen to a boss [TS]

  pedal you need a microphone in between I [TS]

  need a firewire probably but I can point [TS]

  out one thing I end this is boy are you [TS]

  ever going to get mail about this [TS]

  yeah but here's here's something we [TS]

  talked about it and I know it is i've [TS]

  heard is extremely frustrating to [TS]

  african-american people and i'm using [TS]

  that term very lightly because i thought [TS]

  they're actually pretty fucking pissed [TS]

  when people say things are like the [TS]

  civil rights movement because yes in one [TS]

  sense they are if you learn about the [TS]

  civil rights movement when you were a [TS]

  kid in the nineties it can seem very [TS]

  similar because you say well you know we [TS]

  were being treated poorly were bit [TS]

  people are discriminating against us [TS]

  and there are willful and in some cases [TS]

  willful systematic attempts to keep us [TS]

  from being part of the culture right and [TS]

  and you know it whether whether that's [TS]

  Montgomery or Cristal knock [TS]

  yeah that was a real thing but but [TS]

  here's something I've noticed and i'm [TS]

  curious if you've noticed this [TS]

  I've noticed that somebody who's black [TS]

  when they're 21 is also black when [TS]

  they're 70 I'm noticing that there are a [TS]

  lot fewer people who are freaky when [TS]

  you're 21 but that is still ok when [TS]

  their middle age and you know what the [TS]

  ones who are free care in the middle age [TS]

  don't fucking care what you think and [TS]

  don't need you to like their rights [TS]

  they're just doing their thing and you [TS]

  see that around here and I think it's [TS]

  super cool and they don't need a fucking [TS]

  parade [TS]

  they're just going out and doing [TS]

  whatever they want and they don't need [TS]

  to be fucking Rosa Parks and I really [TS]

  respect that if you ever came on the [TS]

  jonathan coulton cruise you know I was [TS]

  here apparently three other people on [TS]

  anything on a cruise [TS]

  okie dokie those things are there are a [TS]

  lot of middle-aged freaky people but as [TS]

  you say they they find their they find [TS]

  their place and there let me know who [TS]

  they are and they they they I mean [TS]

  seconds as courses san francisco which [TS]

  is an outlier but you know it i really [TS]

  respect people who don't need a label [TS]

  and the ones that I end up respecting [TS]

  and I have to admit maybe this is [TS]

  because i'm getting a little bit more [TS]

  into nerdy culture which I know is a [TS]

  controversial topic but you know one [TS]

  reason and I'm I'm gaining more and more [TS]

  respect for LARPers and cosplayers it a [TS]

  positive a positive in the sense of [TS]

  saying like you know what I like [TS]

  dressing up like Captain Marvel or again [TS]

  i am a paladin I can't use a vorpal [TS]

  blade but I can sure have fun on the [TS]

  weekends and i like that to me showing [TS]

  up and going like I'm a non non larper [TS]

  is not much of an identity that lecture [TS]

  13 right now the libertarian priest is [TS]

  he's just leave loving this conversation [TS]

  I think the person he knows all about [TS]

  the powers of paladin that was one of [TS]

  those put them first [TS]

  he's the DMV priest you knew that right [TS]

  talk about the bro yeah bro I totally [TS]

  did not know then Brody indeed be brie [TS]

  learned something that I've forgotten [TS]

  which is that you can change your [TS]

  alignment but didn't you lose experience [TS]

  points when you change that's right you [TS]

  can get together that's true in life [TS]

  john m [TS]

  let's say you are like I personally like [TS]

  I was watching The Hunger Games movie [TS]

  the other night which is actually about [TS]

  a hundred times better than I expected [TS]

  and i was thinking about how she's kind [TS]

  of a ranger [TS]

  yeah you know what I mean what is that [TS]

  done since I've never seen that Joe and [TS]

  you know a ranger what angular its high [TS]

  high dexterity you got a pretty good [TS]

  strength i think you gotta have some [TS]

  charisma monks need a lot of charisma [TS]

  right yeah anything good [TS]

  hooded cloak eating a cloak you need [TS]

  notice the vibrating pan that's the that [TS]

  freaky freaky monk right yeah you can [TS]

  tell down walls right better Ranger [TS]

  anyway so I always thought of myself as [TS]

  a youngster as being chaotic good right [TS]

  which i think is what most teenagers [TS]

  like to think that they are sure i think [TS]

  if you thought that you were lawful good [TS]

  or lawful neutral you would think that [TS]

  you are such a pussy right chaotic good [TS]

  it's okay you know what dude I'm a good [TS]

  guy but I'm a little bit of a wild card [TS]

  yeah let lawful good as a townsperson [TS]

  farmer merchant that's one of those [TS]

  pesky non-player characters it's always [TS]

  trying to get into your shit get your [TS]

  gold your heart boots [TS]

  yeah you know that's the the non-player [TS]

  characters the ones you get off anyway [TS]

  you know what I don't have a point to [TS]

  this is Janos you get further along in [TS]

  life i think that a lot of people need [TS]

  to confront the idea that they are not [TS]

  chaotic good and that they are more or [TS]

  less lawful good for ya lawful good [TS]

  really i think the majority of people [TS]

  are just it's just disoriented normal [TS]

  but isn't that lawful good disoriented [TS]

  normal [TS]

  mm I think of an alignment obviously is [TS]

  reductive it has to be right [TS]

  you've got you got this you got this [TS]

  girl like your alignment has changed as [TS]

  you grow older i mean i guess but i [TS]

  don't think i'm good anymore because [TS]

  well you know if it's okay so here's the [TS]

  difference a paladin has to be lawful [TS]

  good which means not simply that you [TS]

  honor the law and are a good person [TS]

  it means that you must act in pursuit of [TS]

  lawful things and you must make things [TS]

  good i think that's a big difference and [TS]

  this is the problem with all these [TS]

  fucking teenagers running around the [TS]

  goddamn bathrobes is that you're not [TS]

  fighting in the service of anything [TS]

  except your own identity at that time [TS]

  and you know what why don't you get back [TS]

  in the oven and [TS]

  bake for five more years and then come [TS]

  back and tell me about what words i'm [TS]

  allowed to use with all due respect i do [TS]

  agree that that that the civil rights [TS]

  movement in America is not analogous to [TS]

  is not directly analogous to the [TS]

  proliferation of rights movement your [TS]

  grandparents weren't slaves bathrobe boy [TS]

  yeah but I feel like I feel like leaving [TS]

  that aside leaving leaving the leaving [TS]

  the fact that everybody is trying to [TS]

  connect their their small struggle to [TS]

  the to the large struggle we are now [TS]

  living in a world where we have to [TS]

  reckon with all of these small struggles [TS]

  you know and and and and I'm afraid [TS]

  people are thinking it all the way [TS]

  through thinking the born this way all [TS]

  the way through because if born this way [TS]

  he's acting kind of restrictive well [TS]

  it's not just that it is it's a tit [TS]

  I'm not worried about the restrictive [TS]

  and something it is that born this way [TS]

  is precisely the argument that NAMBLA [TS]

  members use it if you have you just did [TS]

  the white van kid diddler version of [TS]

  Godwin's law [TS]

  I just I feel and and we make gay [TS]

  marriage possible people got married [TS]

  their cats [TS]

  that's the brought that's the problem [TS]

  and this is this is this is why I like [TS]

  people that get mad at me [TS]

  uh like argue that i am some kind of [TS]

  crazy [TS]

  uh I i I've gone I've gone across the [TS]

  radical spectrum and on the other side [TS]

  now back to reactionary but but but if [TS]

  you if you follow and again as part of [TS]

  my Pete Townsend research i have i have [TS]

  listened to the voice here into a lot of [TS]

  dark corners i have i've listened to the [TS]

  voices of the oppressed men who love [TS]

  hello children and I've listened to [TS]

  their their lamentations the level [TS]

  confrontations of themselves [TS]

  letís and and they say and a lot of [TS]

  them you can't help but have sympathy [TS]

  for them as they stand before a judge [TS]

  and beg to be castrated talk about being [TS]

  born this way and say like I cannot help [TS]

  these urges I've had them since i since [TS]

  i can remember i know it is criminal I [TS]

  know it's wrong I want to be [TS]

  castrated please send me to jail please [TS]

  execute me you know there are people [TS]

  pleading with us as a culture to to help [TS]

  them solve this problem that has that [TS]

  has plagued them their whole lives in [TS]

  there in prison and they are you know [TS]

  like and every time a child molester [TS]

  goes to prison world like haha hope he [TS]

  gets raped two thousand times but it's [TS]

  like you know a lot of these guys I have [TS]

  been have been fighting this their whole [TS]

  lives and and believe me they feel like [TS]

  they were born that way and so I'm not [TS]

  equating a polyamory or LARPing with [TS]

  child molestation but like that's going [TS]

  to save your breath or brownie is I'm [TS]

  not like I don't let me just stipulate [TS]

  it's just think they go hand in hand and [TS]

  glove or you probably misunderstood a [TS]

  lot of what I'm saying but now i'm gonna [TS]

  blow the thought in your head that this [TS]

  is something I have to deny but but if [TS]

  you if if you if you if you go down the [TS]

  rabbit hole of born this way there's a [TS]

  lot down deeper in the hole but you [TS]

  don't want to look at and so where do [TS]

  you draw the line where do you say like [TS]

  all right here hit this is this is [TS]

  unconscionable to us or that we cannot [TS]

  allow it past this point but up on this [TS]

  side of it but you know up the whole ice [TS]

  we're gonna say yes god damn it you know [TS]

  Brody's have rights so yeah I mean [TS]

  you're if I understand and I I this is [TS]

  your topic but if i understand i think [TS]

  what you're saying it's that when you go [TS]

  down the road to born this way then if [TS]

  you if your basic thesis is that Born [TS]

  This Way has to be acceptable because [TS]

  anyone who is born a certain way has the [TS]

  inalienable inalienable right to be [TS]

  respected and found lawful for what it [TS]

  is [TS]

  in other words we should not penalize [TS]

  people for being born this way whether [TS]

  that is God [TS]

  yeah I'm not doing this but it is that [TS]

  is kind of what you're saying right now [TS]

  if your basic premise is born this way [TS]

  it has primacy then you open the door to [TS]

  all the things that you're going to [TS]

  email account right right I'm going to [TS]

  get a lot of email but the thing is that [TS]

  human beings are animals right first and [TS]

  foremost [TS]

  and born this way is a naturalistic [TS]

  argument isn't it is an argument that [TS]

  that we are at our natures are [TS]

  predetermined deterministic by our by [TS]

  our animal selves right but across the [TS]

  Great spectrum of human beings there are [TS]

  a lot of us that are born in a way that [TS]

  that that as soon as that way is [TS]

  identified we should probably put that [TS]

  person to death immediately like there [TS]

  are people who are born in a way that [TS]

  they coming [TS]

  if you if you read about Jeffrey Dahmer [TS]

  he he thought his whole life to control [TS]

  his urges to rape and and eat his [TS]

  victims or whatever you know like they [TS]

  he is also born that way and so we are [TS]

  going to need a new email address right [TS]

  what it was right people are going to be [TS]

  people are gonna are are all going to be [TS]

  wrestling with the animators tonight [TS]

  Elliot you're saying yeah but that but [TS]

  but but and this is this is by no means [TS]

  an argument against the progress that we [TS]

  made was to meet you heard your your [TS]

  free hand here free glove in my chain [TS]

  mail hand but let's make this a night [TS]

  with the k2 remember but I worry about [TS]

  this all the time because as I walk [TS]

  through life I support people's desire [TS]

  to be free but at a certain point all of [TS]

  civilization all of law is designed to [TS]

  constrain people's freedom for the for [TS]

  the benefit of the mass for the good of [TS]

  the main and what we're doing is we are [TS]

  extending the borders of what we [TS]

  consider to be the the mainstream right [TS]

  i mean homosexuality now is completely [TS]

  mainstreamed in America and then I think [TS]

  America has gained for it but as we [TS]

  extend those borders [TS]

  we're all going to have to reckon with [TS]

  just exactly where we want to draw the [TS]

  new line because there has to be you [TS]

  cannot extend the franchise all the way [TS]

  out to everybody because there are there [TS]

  are freaky people out there [TS]

  there are people who are born in a way [TS]

  that gives us pause and but we're not [TS]

  talking about that you know if each new [TS]

  struggle each new that's all that's the [TS]

  whole point of our joking about this is [TS]

  that is that is that the reason that [TS]

  this is awkward is is why it's probably [TS]

  kind of true and the reason I'm saying [TS]

  in other words if this was easy to talk [TS]

  about our that your point would not be [TS]

  correct [TS]

  it's the fact that this is such an [TS]

  awkward thing to confront that you know [TS]

  maybe you know maybe it is a little [TS]

  reductive or a little bit you know black [TS]

  and white thinking but but but how do [TS]

  you want you know here's one thing that [TS]

  really actively troubles me and then I [TS]

  struggle with because as much as we [TS]

  crack wise on here or whatever we do in [TS]

  here like I i would genuinely like for [TS]

  people to live the life that they would [TS]

  like to leave it as much as it doesn't [TS]

  harm other people and I really do [TS]

  believe that people should be allowed to [TS]

  be called whatever the fuck they want to [TS]

  be called and with with respect but this [TS]

  is a struggle and I'm going to own this [TS]

  but like my problem is I remember I made [TS]

  that crack about how like if you if you [TS]

  like if you mention like crack in the [TS]

  South people think you do crack [TS]

  I I don't like I don't like it when [TS]

  people think that just because I'm [TS]

  disagreeing with you about the name and [TS]

  entitlement something doesn't mean i [TS]

  think you shouldn't get to do what you [TS]

  want [TS]

  do you know what I mean I think you can [TS]

  end up having an extremely loud and long [TS]

  argument about two different things [TS]

  without ever distinguishing what they [TS]

  are right which is that like yeah well [TS]

  like why are we arguing everybody should [TS]

  be able to do the thing that they want [TS]

  to do you know your rights stop at the [TS]

  end of my nose kind of thing but like [TS]

  but i but I I don't like being [TS]

  constantly tutored by people on how I [TS]

  need to realign my thinking in [TS]

  vocabulary to climb or know what they're [TS]

  feeling this week I know you hate being [TS]

  tutored by people on the internet I [TS]

  don't like being tutored and you know [TS]

  what it reminds me of in some ways as [TS]

  long as we're going to escalate this one [TS]

  reminds me of is they say that it is [TS]

  said [TS]

  that one reason they say that it is said [TS]

  they say this is said at one reason for [TS]

  example that Republicans conservatives [TS]

  but Republicans in particular had so [TS]

  much success over the years is [TS]

  organization and things like being able [TS]

  to rally people to say i can send out an [TS]

  email you know astroturfing sent out [TS]

  this email to go [TS]

  ok here's a link go to the CNN poll and [TS]

  vote this way right and you come into [TS]

  nürnberg again we'll have big bonfire [TS]

  right and so for example you could have [TS]

  a campbell's soup recipe competition and [TS]

  the winner would be something called Ron [TS]

  Paul revolution and you go [TS]

  what does that even mean well I guess [TS]

  we're making a difference so you can [TS]

  rally people to do just about anything [TS]

  now the other thing that they're great [TS]

  act and I think this is pretty [TS]

  well-documented is being able to control [TS]

  the vocabulary and its end up framing [TS]

  what the actual thing we're talking [TS]

  about is just paranoid words pro-life [TS]

  precisely or you know again we're back [TS]

  to don't think of an elephant but but [TS]

  but you could you [TS]

  I think there are actually this is a [TS]

  thing that everybody does now which is [TS]

  messaging which is you let everybody in [TS]

  your camp no yes [TS]

  here is what the messaging is this is [TS]

  what this is the point we need to make [TS]

  in every interview but these are the [TS]

  words will need to use in order to do [TS]

  this right and and the it could be [TS]

  something like very coated you know it [TS]

  could be like you know and problems [TS]

  urban has a very coated meaning um and [TS]

  so in some ways I feel like the [TS]

  newsletter that were all being forced to [TS]

  subscribe to that we dare not fall [TS]

  behind on is the newsletter that lets us [TS]

  know like you know what's what's hot and [TS]

  what's not in terms of what now to use [TS]

  to keep somebody from being a goddamn [TS]

  slave and I think that puts such a lie [TS]

  to like some really important shit [TS]

  that's gone down in the last 400 years [TS]

  that it makes me furious [TS]

  yeah what's like you were not in [TS]

  Auschwitz like relax [TS]

  what interests me about the about the [TS]

  conversation is as always first [TS]

  principles right i don't think that we [TS]

  can I don't think it's very effective to [TS]

  talk about for instance drone attacks in [TS]

  Afghanistan or a to talk about [TS]

  Guantanamo [TS]

  or to talk about the extension of civil [TS]

  rights to each successive group it isn't [TS]

  very useful unless there is unless [TS]

  there's some part of the population that [TS]

  is talking about it in terms of first [TS]

  principles because everytime everytime a [TS]

  new group a kind of rises up out of the [TS]

  Mist and says we are we are another [TS]

  group of people who demand our civil [TS]

  rights for every time they need to be [TS]

  and servitude and to be acknowledged [TS]

  that we are a group to be acknowledged [TS]

  as a group and to be to be accepted into [TS]

  what is essentially the mainstream we [TS]

  want to come out of the darkness and now [TS]

  we want you know we want for instance [TS]

  polyamory which which more or less hurts [TS]

  nobody but we want to be mainstreamed we [TS]

  want to be accepted we want to be able [TS]

  to say to our co-workers we are [TS]

  polyamorous and so so I'm going to bring [TS]

  two people to our employee picnic and [TS]

  there's actually not allowed to smoke at [TS]

  your pink scarf [TS]

  yeah or or or in a lot of cases you know [TS]

  and we want we want our insurance and [TS]

  benefits you know like oh IC thats will [TS]

  write incest tomates yeah but we don't [TS]

  be mainstreamed is as part of it and and [TS]

  also yeah you know drone attacks and and [TS]

  Guantanamo where we are pushing oh we're [TS]

  pushing in specific cases what we what [TS]

  we universally agree are the limits like [TS]

  we are sending drones now and without [TS]

  any human without any oversight in there [TS]

  and obviously there's there are people [TS]

  in in tractor trailers in the Nevada [TS]

  desert who are watching on video cameras [TS]

  and saying yeah I think I think that guy [TS]

  i think that i don't like the look of [TS]

  his turban I think that guy's bad send [TS]

  in a send in a air-to-ground missiles [TS]

  boom and then you know all shit after [TS]

  the missile was launched for kids came [TS]

  running out of the door kicking a soccer [TS]

  ball and now we're just going to sit [TS]

  here and watch them you know there's [TS]

  like eight seconds until the missile [TS]

  lands and we're just going to sit here [TS]

  in our trailer and watch them vaporize [TS]

  and then we're going to go home and have [TS]

  a stouffer's dinner and and but but [TS]

  we're trying to we're trying to figure [TS]

  out what the what the new limits are [TS]

  without looking at it from from from on [TS]

  high like there's no council of elders [TS]

  really because the media has largely [TS]

  abdicated this role nobody writes about [TS]

  it anymore from this standpoint because [TS]

  nobody likes to get letters and also [TS]

  does the that there's been a tremendous [TS]

  decline in the in the national dialogue [TS]

  but when it comes to pederasty God like [TS]

  there needs to be a conversation about [TS]

  it in our culture that no one wants to [TS]

  initiate right who wants to be the one [TS]

  that comes out and says let's take a [TS]

  hard look at this and you know is it [TS]

  when a 22 year old has sex with a 16 [TS]

  year old and in some state or a [TS]

  fifteen-year-old in some states he goes [TS]

  to jail for that is that really [TS]

  equivalent to a seventy-five-year-old [TS]

  molesting a six-year-old who you know [TS]

  like there are there are laws but [TS]

  there's also there's a tremendous amount [TS]

  of like crinkled up noses in our culture [TS]

  where it's like oh that's gross like you [TS]

  have no just married at 26 year-old [TS]

  that's gross [TS]

  he's 87 but we but it's gross but we [TS]

  kinda also have been half the population [TS]

  kind of high-five seem like he's getting [TS]

  married to somebody 20 like every few [TS]

  months [TS]

  is it just me my getting old my feeling [TS]

  is that Hugh Hefner's taste in women has [TS]

  become more and more cartoony as he's [TS]

  gotten old [TS]

  maybe it's his eyesight i think it is [TS]

  and I think what he really i think what [TS]

  the what they should do is they should [TS]

  we wheel in like a giant boob and just [TS]

  just just wheel it in to his room every [TS]

  night at eleven [TS]

  and then people like he could grow pit [TS]

  and Paul at it and then it just will the [TS]

  boob out and he's laying in bed like all [TS]

  covered in perspiration like oh honey [TS]

  but you know he's a pretty wealthy guy [TS]

  so maybe they can have different boobs [TS]

  so he could have he could be polyamorous [TS]

  with this fake boobs so you can have [TS]

  different ones come in maybe he could [TS]

  have you know maybe a b-cup tonight i'll [TS]

  be looking by plenty of course is a row [TS]

  Leanne would be like the size of a [TS]

  hassock or or like a foreign car like [TS]

  how big would be I think it would be I [TS]

  think it would be dealing with this [TS]

  fuckable feet [TS]

  do you remember the monster in the the [TS]

  the the Queen alien in starship troopers [TS]

  i have i don't think i did but i can [TS]

  look at remember starship troopers when [TS]

  was that we get that girl with the [TS]

  eyebrows [TS]

  oh maybe it's with its 14 Doogie Howser [TS]

  puts his hand on the thing and he says [TS]

  it's afraid it's a big it's a big bug i [TS]

  think that's about the size of the boob [TS]

  that you have nervous should should [TS]

  maybe ride to balance this is the [TS]

  problem with porn and its really one of [TS]

  the only problems with porn is is that [TS]

  is that I think a couple things happen i [TS]

  think i think one thing is that [TS]

  familiarity breeds porn contempt which [TS]

  is that you that first of all like one [TS]

  no matter how much porn you've got you [TS]

  always want more and then in time you [TS]

  wanted to get more fucked up and so the [TS]

  thing is like he might start out for [TS]

  example with like hey look at me i'm [TS]

  hugh hefner i have a built to scale like [TS]

  what like 1281 colon eight sighs booby [TS]

  but then maybe sometimes he wants like a [TS]

  128 man booby or something i'm just [TS]

  saying I'm just saying this is the [TS]

  problem and I don't get into the dead [TS]

  rubber girl thing but you know I I i bet [TS]

  once you've got one rubber girl you want [TS]

  to get to and then you want to get for [TS]

  so you can have a tea party [TS]

  alright i imagine he spent all that [TS]

  money on a dead rubber girl and then you [TS]

  got bored of her its what exactly you're [TS]

  like oh this rubber girl is just doesn't [TS]

  do it for me anymore i spent money [TS]

  got some very costly things that I got [TS]

  bored with very quickly [TS]

  yeah but that's you know that's that's a [TS]

  bet that's a big investment i have a [TS]

  whole drawer of digital cameras that [TS]

  that I that I don't use my hand okay [TS]

  that's a terrific example ok like the [TS]

  first digital camera i bought was in [TS]

  1999 and it was a sub i think it was [TS]

  less than 1 megapixel I mean I look at [TS]

  him now I thought I I thought it was [TS]

  revolutionary at the time you put your [TS]

  card in you put the batteries in and [TS]

  you're taking pictures and you put it on [TS]

  your pc [TS]

  wow this is really amazing but it was [TS]

  very costly for the time and now those [TS]

  pictures look ridiculous [TS]

  yeah they're so like they're so noisy [TS]

  and like and streaky looking [TS]

  yeah it's noisy streaks each time one of [TS]

  these new ding guy come out like you [TS]

  think it's going to be a revolution and [TS]

  kind of his fall guy from the Latin I [TS]

  don't know why you know Hugh Hefner has [TS]

  a son uh you haven't had a lot of kids I [TS]

  guess but as you would expect by a lot [TS]

  fewer kids that you might think but just [TS]

  I just I have this feeling that he just [TS]

  has never had a lot of sex [TS]

  well seems like he's overcompensating on [TS]

  such another level [TS]

  yeah I think he's I think i'm gonna go [TS]

  out on a limb here and say that you [TS]

  haven't had a lot of sex but that it [TS]

  that none of it I don't think qualifies [TS]

  as good sex as i as i see it but you [TS]

  don't think he can place your lady i do [TS]

  not think i don't think so either [TS]

  I think that he exists to be pleasured [TS]

  and that's probably been true since the [TS]

  start I mean look at him [TS]

  yeah and imagine being a lady and [TS]

  imagine here comes even a young Hugh [TS]

  Hefner he comes he's coming in at upon [TS]

  you and your lady pretty lady here comes [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah yeah skinny and he's a serious guy [TS]

  he's not that weird hair and there's a [TS]

  little intelligence and eatin pussy like [TS]

  he's finishing some flan [TS]

  I don't you think but he's got this kid [TS]

  he's got this young kid who's his heir [TS]

  apparent his son this is the Playboy [TS]

  Prince he is the Playboy Prince is this [TS]

  kid is named Cooper Hefner that's [TS]

  terrible name and he was born in like uh [TS]

  III don't even know I I don't want to [TS]

  look it up on the internet but he was [TS]

  born recently he's like 20 he's like in [TS]

  his early 20s you have no son now he and [TS]

  his father is grooming him at as he has [TS]

  groomed so many ladies who to take over [TS]

  the Playboy Enterprises well now you [TS]

  picture this kid at 22 years old [TS]

  the first question using making anyone [TS]

  who is born he's born in 91 so how old [TS]

  does that make him think you're right [TS]

  and 20 22 when did Cooper Hefner when [TS]

  and how did Cooper have never lose his [TS]

  virginity [TS]

  it was probably not it was probably not [TS]

  in the backseat of his of a Corvair [TS]

  parked at lookout point it was probably [TS]

  not putting an American Graffiti it was [TS]

  probably not a girl was probably not [TS]

  with a girl by the bandstand with a girl [TS]

  that he goes to high school with i have [TS]

  had not at the World's Fair was probably [TS]

  not under the boardwalk out by the sea [TS]

  it was undoubtedly at some point on like [TS]

  a round bed or in a grotto and because [TS]

  he was initiated into the into this [TS]

  world but in some kind of grotesquerie [TS]

  where a half a dozen you know playmates [TS]

  were sort of like teehee do you think [TS]

  his father might it might have [TS]

  dispatched them some kind of initial in [TS]

  the true sense of the word a an ordeal [TS]

  like a sexual ordeal like he was a trial [TS]

  by vaginal fire [TS]

  absolutely i cannot imagine it happened [TS]

  to the other way and i could not even [TS]

  surprised too [TS]

  maybe maybe put a bathroom over his head [TS]

  and dragged him into a limo [TS]

  he was probably was probably we're going [TS]

  it probably in a bed ship like a car [TS]

  inside of the crop it was probably 10 [TS]

  years old by Skaggs playing [TS]

  I cannot imagine that happened to him at [TS]

  an age that was not premature [TS]

  mhm at because because i think that it [TS]

  would you know like your Hugh Hefner son [TS]

  like when is this going and your mother [TS]

  is a playmate [TS]

  ah when is this gonna go down it's like [TS]

  the poet says all fallen leaves should [TS]

  curse their branches so he's got to go [TS]

  out there and it's just like your buddy [TS]

  having to drive around with the fucking [TS]

  Clydesdales to go to the prom [TS]

  he just picked the Clydesdales it was an [TS]

  heiser Bush dad not to work ping-pong [TS]

  that makes it makes him get it behind [TS]

  some copy horses and all those North [TS]

  one-third this guy did not get to pick [TS]

  to to be Cooper fella probably did not [TS]

  get to pick the way he wanted his uh [TS]

  fallen leaf to fall right so when he [TS]

  wanted to fall at all [TS]

  he's 22 years old the fan how many sexes [TS]

  has he had with a hooded playmates [TS]

  probably exclusively just doesn't seem [TS]

  unprofessional [TS]

  well double here's the things like you [TS]

  could use that like okay [TS]

  could use that like okay [TS]

  here's the thing i think we get blinded [TS]

  by playboy i think i'm not being [TS]

  anti-porn I'm all about the porn [TS]

  I'm just saying that like any other [TS]

  industry like just because you had a [TS]

  xerox copier dealership doesn't mean [TS]

  your son have to fuck on a piece of [TS]

  glass right but in this case and you [TS]

  certainly wouldn't have the lady which [TS]

  is the phones come over and digital is [TS]

  copy you know [TS]

  yeah in this case though you're saying [TS]

  so it seems to me that you're saying [TS]

  that this is it is a depraved underworld [TS]

  of forced sexual sexuality and you might [TS]

  you might end up putting your son a [TS]

  grotto whether he's into it or not and [TS]

  how many times since I cannot imagine [TS]

  that Hugh Hefner has not rationalized [TS]

  his position in life to such an extent [TS]

  that he believes that that sex with [TS]

  multiple beautiful girls is not his [TS]

  son's birth right versus parade and that [TS]

  had that at a certain point probably [TS]

  pretty early on he was like let's get [TS]

  let's get the show on the road [TS]

  let's get this let's get this happen [TS]

  because i told you the story about my [TS]

  dad coming back from his trip to China [TS]

  and saying I one of the people on the [TS]

  trip to China but one of the people of [TS]

  the trip spider was a madam and I you [TS]

  know and i was looking down at by [TS]

  looking down at my book pretending not [TS]

  to hear he's like and she runs a UH a [TS]

  massage parlor and I was like let's let [TS]

  me guess h-he said anytime you want to [TS]

  go over there she said I should just [TS]

  bring you over [TS]

  he really said that yeah and I was 15 16 [TS]

  and now i'm really staring at my book [TS]

  but something is my dad doesn't my dad [TS]

  born in nineteen twenty-one he doesn't [TS]

  know how to do this he doesn't know how [TS]

  to teach your kids about about sex and [TS]

  he's sense but but he also doesn't know [TS]

  how he doesn't want to do it right but [TS]

  you have norway which is to be like [TS]

  let's go to the hardware store then [TS]

  we pull into the parking lot of a place [TS]

  called you know Sally's a oriental [TS]

  massage eight and I'm like what we doing [TS]

  here and you're my dad and I would my [TS]

  dad and I went to a lot stranger places [TS]

  than that together he had pulled into [TS]

  the drive that the gravel driveway of [TS]

  this place and said yeah I come with me [TS]

  and we've got inside going to portland [TS]

  to get a thing and their wood and [TS]

  there's like a you know 11 girls in in [TS]

  lacey undergarments and he would you [TS]

  know and then some madam who I assume is [TS]

  wearing like a silk Chinese one of those [TS]

  one of those things [TS]

  Xinhua Zuri Jamie's right ash in [TS]

  waterbury samiksha keys and he would [TS]

  just be like alright could go get them [TS]

  and I would have been like what no and [TS]

  the door would slam and I you know it'd [TS]

  be like a scene out of a movie but no my [TS]

  dad his version of it was well I anytime [TS]

  you want to go by there let me know he's [TS]

  just leave it out there just leave it [TS]

  out there sexy is like sending your kids [TS]

  to kumon like I could try to I could try [TS]

  to teach you the new math but I'd rather [TS]

  send you somewhere else where somebody [TS]

  in addition geez could teach you you [TS]

  know uh you know like maybe some kind of [TS]

  violin method or something [TS]

  it's easier for him and it's more [TS]

  pleasurable for you is what he's [TS]

  thinking but anger does not that big of [TS]

  a town and every time we drove by this [TS]

  place for the next 10 years i was [TS]

  studying my fingernails [TS]

  you know I'm like oh geez don't bring a [TS]

  dog / the vet's office just don't don't [TS]

  bring it up the love of Christ don't [TS]

  bring it up and you know and he would [TS]

  everyone so hard is that place with that [TS]

  girl and it's like no ineffective i [TS]

  would rather have been dragged out of my [TS]

  little racing car shaped bed at the age [TS]

  of 10 and thrown into a snake pit of [TS]

  playmates [TS]

  I mean at least then it would be done [TS]

  it's like is like the tooth in the [TS]

  doorknob [TS]

  it's like it's like the tooth in the [TS]

  doorknob oh you know when you gotta get [TS]

  a loose tooth [TS]

  you don't see is never happen to me I [TS]

  lived in fear after me something [TS]

  the doorknob on Nick title they tied my [TS]

  loose tooth to a doorknob and fuck is [TS]

  going on with your family [TS]

  i'm telling you i was i was basically [TS]

  raised by Victoria [TS]

  I thought it was your mom she has no [TS]

  teeth fear it was my mom was my mom she [TS]

  tied my tooth to add or not [TS]

  Oh doctor yeah that must hurt like hell [TS]

  and the fillory la ah but you know there [TS]

  was a lot there was a lot of you know [TS]

  and the thing is now that the more i [TS]

  think about it i do want to fucking [TS]

  parade for contemporary it [TS]

  um let me ask you this [TS]

  I think we're good there but let me ask [TS]

  me ask you this is Cooper happier [TS]

  barring that way if he turned out to be [TS]

  a fucking desperate creepy horn dog and [TS]

  I'm looking right now i am an assistant [TS]

  that Stanley I'm looking at hugh [TS]

  hefner's wikipedia picture which is [TS]

  extremely detailed and he's wearing a [TS]

  captain's hat is a captain it's one of [TS]

  those you're not really the captain but [TS]

  you just got a hat with that it's like a [TS]

  Thurston Howell the third exactly [TS]

  uh-huh it'sit'sit's baseless insignia [TS]

  way college scrambled eggs [TS]

  you know that's not scrambled eggs [TS]

  that's like insignia that's like two [TS]

  anchors to cross tankers and a life [TS]

  preserver exactly it [TS]

  yeah okay so mm it's cooper born that [TS]

  way [TS]

  like can we if he goes out and he says [TS]

  the parade that I want is on a round bed [TS]

  in a grotto with a lot of girls who had [TS]

  surgery do we get to go boo Cooper well [TS]

  I mean this is this one that way John he [TS]

  was but he came by it honestly if you [TS]

  know what I mean this is the question [TS]

  like like and-and-and-and-and the [TS]

  problem the problem with the argument [TS]

  that were the problem with it with the [TS]

  conversation that we're having is that [TS]

  it is that it too is too close to that [TS]

  Republican argument that if you allow [TS]

  gay marriage then people are going to be [TS]

  having sex with their dogs had that [TS]

  conversation I've had an actual [TS]

  conversation with a grown woman [TS]

  yeah and people want people on that side [TS]

  of the equation are not smart enough to [TS]

  raise their argument better than that [TS]

  and people on our side of the equation [TS]

  are so conditioned to hearing that kind [TS]

  of talk that any that any suggestion [TS]

  that we say now wait a minute let's talk [TS]

  about this let's talk about what this [TS]

  really means it smacks too [TS]

  them of of of this kind of bigotry up [TS]

  but you know the the reality is what [TS]

  keeps horndogs what keeps creeps from [TS]

  saying i was born this way I i am a i'm [TS]

  person who gropes girls at rock concerts [TS]

  I i own a restaurant and I like I have a [TS]

  camera that takes photos of women [TS]

  pooping [TS]

  yes the culinary ism a shark barriers [TS]

  there you have to admire Chuck Berry [TS]

  first of all because I think he did a [TS]

  lot with the 12-bar blues that was [TS]

  really revolutionary invented a certain [TS]

  kind of Bend on the fifth that changed [TS]

  everything and I think he has gotten [TS]

  freaky in more different fucked up ways [TS]

  than a lot of people have you how could [TS]

  you you know you go to jail for little [TS]

  kids but then you're also going to poop [TS]

  he's point talking about a polyamorous [TS]

  polymath well and the the thing is that [TS]

  somebody somebody we it's very clear [TS]

  where we draw the line on something like [TS]

  that [TS]

  it's ok of truck berries into poop but [TS]

  it's not okay to take pictures of people [TS]

  without their consent like that is a [TS]

  clear line of privacy issue [TS]

  yeah that is that that's a light in the [TS]

  law was like you without consent [TS]

  you cannot it's illegal if you want to [TS]

  go but if Chuck Barry wants to spend his [TS]

  money to hire people to pretend to be [TS]

  pooping in a toilet without you know [TS]

  without and and take pictures of them [TS]

  that's fine there is a place in Las [TS]

  Vegas you can do that [TS]

  poopy lacrim yes a poopy lacrim but you [TS]

  can't just go take pictures of people [TS]

  without their consent that right but you [TS]

  know this is again the the age of [TS]

  consent question where there are some [TS]

  people ronski Pete Eckhart date it [TS]

  really is set and the whole you know the [TS]

  back cover of that album [TS]

  yeah was the if you go look at that boat [TS]

  ride know that well there may be but [TS]

  sheriff edge on the cover of that [TS]

  Bronski beat album is the legal age of [TS]

  consent for for sex in every country of [TS]

  the world [TS]

  like written on the back of the album [TS]

  who's got the lowest one [TS]

  well I mean just for Pete Townsend I [TS]

  imagine there are some that have no [TS]

  lowest age of consent because it's not [TS]

  because culturally like if you are [TS]

  marrying an eight-year-old girl to 35 [TS]

  year old man like to make the [TS]

  distinction that but but listen below [TS]

  eight years old so that's awesome really [TS]

  see it's really terrible i'm not muster [TS]

  at seven years old come on was out of [TS]

  your base are seeing a Gary Glitter just [TS]

  booked the wrong flight [TS]

  yeah right he could have gone somewhere [TS]

  that would have been like super bowl [TS]

  well potentially although all those [TS]

  marriages are all bound up in like you [TS]

  know the arranged marriages where your [TS]

  where they're paying off debts to people [TS]

  like the they marry their eight-year-old [TS]

  to the landlord in order to forgive [TS]

  their mortgage payment or but then there [TS]

  was born that way John but but did the [TS]

  arbiter but the fact that even in the [TS]

  evenin the 50 united states there are [TS]

  major variations you know there's there [TS]

  there's a tremendous gulf between the [TS]

  lowest age of consent in the highest age [TS]

  of consent in American States suggest [TS]

  that we don't have a clear picture what [TS]

  consent looks like enough that people [TS]

  are going to prison you know you you've [TS]

  got you listen to the poor poor [TS]

  defenseless pederasts who are who really [TS]

  characterize themselves as like victims [TS]

  in the hole in the whole affair and like [TS]

  all this temptress this twelve-year-old [TS]

  temptress lolita she was the lowliness [TS]

  top floor is that book is one of the [TS]

  great American novels can't only it's [TS]

  only really kind of you know diddling is [TS]

  the MacGuffin that's about a lot more [TS]

  than a young girl filling is the [TS]

  MacGuffin mhm mhm [TS]

  you can feel them with your [TS]

  don't even get me started on you deck [TS]

  ah-choo Genesis [TS]