Roderick on the Line

Ep. 70: "Bad Cop, Worse Cop, Man in Bathrobe"


00:00:00   hello hey John [TS]

00:00:07   hi Merlin has gone pretty good [TS]

00:00:15   yep I got that keyboard that you [TS]

00:00:17   suggested [TS]

00:00:18   oh it arrived in the mail it is I you [TS]

00:00:21   didn't tell me it was solar-powered see [TS]

00:00:22   any wouldn't get it [TS]

00:00:24   I'm so psyched though the end I thought [TS]

00:00:27   like you're absolutely right if you had [TS]

00:00:28   said it's solar-powered bluetooth [TS]

00:00:31   keyboard i would have hung up the phone [TS]

00:00:33   immediately like an okay [TS]

00:00:35   imagine if I had said to you my god John [TS]

00:00:38   you're hungry you should try these chips [TS]

00:00:40   they're so freaking hang up already i [TS]

00:00:44   don't know i always something [TS]

00:00:46   these chips are so good up there and i [TS]

00:00:49   would say they're right there there [TS]

00:00:52   puffed rice and and rolled out but still [TS]

00:00:56   cut rolled oats tough-on-crime let's [TS]

00:00:59   have a family that are that are a [TS]

00:01:02   seasoned with olives salt [TS]

00:01:04   I would have been I would I wouldn't [TS]

00:01:06   have even been listening I would've been [TS]

00:01:07   gone and recovered oil but this keyboard [TS]

00:01:10   is beautiful [TS]

00:01:11   it's just that I haven't I haven't yet [TS]

00:01:15   synced it with any of my devices because [TS]

00:01:18   i want to save that moment you don't [TS]

00:01:20   like the little blue lights light up [TS]

00:01:21   it's pretty exciting [TS]

00:01:23   I like all but I like everything about [TS]

00:01:24   it but I don't wanna I don't wanna rush [TS]

00:01:26   into anything with it [TS]

00:01:27   mhm so I'm still sitting at my computer [TS]

00:01:29   with no operative keyboard that was [TS]

00:01:32   insensitive of me to send you our weekly [TS]

00:01:34   boop because I knew I should have known [TS]

00:01:37   that it wasn't ready but I'm very I'm [TS]

00:01:39   very happy note that it arrived i think [TS]

00:01:41   yes things will get better you boo me [TS]

00:01:43   and I that but I knew that it was I knew [TS]

00:01:45   you didn't expect a reboot [TS]

00:01:47   yeah well I would like to think that [TS]

00:01:49   that is a tentpole of our relationship [TS]

00:01:51   is we don't always expect a boot yeah [TS]

00:01:54   right you send out a Boop maybe get a [TS]

00:01:56   boot back maybe don't you feel that way [TS]

00:01:57   really i mean i think with us I hope [TS]

00:01:59   that's the way it is but don't you [TS]

00:02:01   sometimes worry about not getting a boot [TS]

00:02:02   from someone [TS]

00:02:03   well here's the funny things sometimes I [TS]

00:02:05   go weeks and weeks and weeks I don't [TS]

00:02:07   need a boot from anybody and then other [TS]

00:02:09   times all of a sudden I send a Boop out [TS]

00:02:12   I don't get a boot back in [TS]

00:02:14   in five or six minutes and then I'm [TS]

00:02:17   literally up a tree [TS]

00:02:19   I have to go climb a tree and and him up [TS]

00:02:23   there pulling my hair out about like [TS]

00:02:25   where's my roommate words the boot back [TS]

00:02:27   right and an idea and I honestly don't [TS]

00:02:30   understand how how you how one person [TS]

00:02:33   can fluctuate from sol a sol are [TS]

00:02:37   autonomous and pens self-contained to so [TS]

00:02:41   needy it in such a short amount of time [TS]

00:02:44   and a lot of times the boot the boot [TS]

00:02:45   that I want isn't really the boob I want [TS]

00:02:49   it's just some random boob I send a [TS]

00:02:50   thing out and I don't get a reply on my [TS]

00:02:52   god no it's not that's not even that's [TS]

00:02:55   not even the big boob you know when [TS]

00:02:57   they're they're probably days like when [TS]

00:02:59   you're busy you're traveling you're on [TS]

00:03:01   the road you get stuff going on you get [TS]

00:03:03   way too many boots and yeah so many [TS]

00:03:05   books right well and that's the thing if [TS]

00:03:07   you live in a world where you're not [TS]

00:03:08   you're not [TS]

00:03:10   johnny-on-the-spot with the boobs how [TS]

00:03:13   can you then be upset [TS]

00:03:15   uh-huh when something you know somebody [TS]

00:03:17   else's probably juggling three jobs or [TS]

00:03:20   you know or peeling avocados or whatever [TS]

00:03:23   it is that people do and and they don't [TS]

00:03:25   have time to just be like looking at [TS]

00:03:27   their phone all day literally spent five [TS]

00:03:29   hours talking about this today he did [TS]

00:03:32   oh this was your your buzz match meeting [TS]

00:03:35   that was my buzz which yeah you had a [TS]

00:03:37   buzz yellow meeting with some buzz which [TS]

00:03:39   is this can help people John I keep [TS]

00:03:40   thinking I can help people didn't want [TS]

00:03:43   you to be on their board are you on [TS]

00:03:46   their board i think that was [TS]

00:03:49   mmm i think it was certainly something [TS]

00:03:53   that would have been under consideration [TS]

00:03:55   if I if I weren't such a horrible little [TS]

00:03:58   contradictory man ever see you seem [TS]

00:04:04   perfect she's involved fiction m [TS]

00:04:06   nope well Harvey to the calling Harvey [TS]

00:04:08   Keitel the wolf you to come and clean [TS]

00:04:11   out the car after they accidentally blow [TS]

00:04:13   the kids had notes this point i say blow [TS]

00:04:15   the kid's head off in the back of a cool [TS]

00:04:16   car shows up in there was a chance of [TS]

00:04:19   Alta is what Justin nsx us three car and [TS]

00:04:22   then and then so does it look let's be [TS]

00:04:24   honest and that in that situation just [TS]

00:04:25   revolted looking for the poop [TS]

00:04:27   is he is waiting right for the harvey [TS]

00:04:30   keitel this wolf to be deferential to [TS]

00:04:32   him and to treat him with respect [TS]

00:04:34   right and I don't I can't quote it from [TS]

00:04:36   memory but it's something along the [TS]

00:04:37   lines of listen I talk fast I Drive fast [TS]

00:04:39   you know it seems like a plan being Curt [TS]

00:04:41   with you you know it's because we have a [TS]

00:04:43   job to do and you know the time is [TS]

00:04:45   limited [TS]

00:04:46   it's basically me with everyone all the [TS]

00:04:48   time yeah and I so I had to I had that [TS]

00:04:50   they said that today to the founder of a [TS]

00:04:52   company so you win and then they were [TS]

00:04:54   like what do you think about this and [TS]

00:04:55   they gave me some buzz words and you're [TS]

00:04:56   like let me cut to the chase [TS]

00:04:57   they were super nice people but i did at [TS]

00:05:00   one point I did this I was clearly [TS]

00:05:02   really frustrating this one guy with me [TS]

00:05:04   and how I am I said I'm frustrating you [TS]

00:05:08   aren't I [TS]

00:05:09   and he was just he really wanted [TS]

00:05:10   everything in bullets and and finally I [TS]

00:05:12   was like let me explain something to you [TS]

00:05:14   ah if you expect me to come in here and [TS]

00:05:18   just agree with all the reasons why your [TS]

00:05:20   product is good the way it is you're [TS]

00:05:22   wasting your money right [TS]

00:05:24   I'm hear them the Merlin Mann verbal [TS]

00:05:26   scimitars I i gave them I i read them a [TS]

00:05:33   1500 word right after it was all great [TS]

00:05:35   but you know honestly John it's like I I [TS]

00:05:37   you helped so many people I see it every [TS]

00:05:39   day I see people saying how much you [TS]

00:05:41   helped them and I'm really envious [TS]

00:05:43   mmm i am I mean you are helping people [TS]

00:05:46   in this great land of ours and again [TS]

00:05:48   other lands other lesser lands shiro [TS]

00:05:52   think they're all necessarily lesser [TS]

00:05:54   land super helping people all around the [TS]

00:05:56   world Merlin oh I mean I i did this [TS]

00:06:00   keynote speech with my good friend [TS]

00:06:02   Kathleen Edwards of canada i love her [TS]

00:06:05   uh-uh-uh-uh a wonderful nation i will be [TS]

00:06:08   set allen and especially for something [TS]

00:06:10   from that country God love boys that [TS]

00:06:12   interact with all the handicaps that she [TS]

00:06:14   came into this world shoot with not even [TS]

00:06:16   a disability that the red hair they want [TS]

00:06:18   me to chair [TS]

00:06:19   yeah but so we can Kathleen is very [TS]

00:06:22   she's a very Merlin Mann like a person [TS]

00:06:26   when he's got a mouth on her i'll say [TS]

00:06:27   that she does she's a she she works blue [TS]

00:06:30   and she was so we were sitting before [TS]

00:06:33   right before we had go on onstage [TS]

00:06:36   and the people that are putting on the [TS]

00:06:38   event they usher these two very nice [TS]

00:06:41   people over and they sit down in our [TS]

00:06:44   table where we were you know where we [TS]

00:06:46   were like prepping for our presentation [TS]

00:06:48   and the people who are putting on this [TS]

00:06:51   presentation say we'd like you to meet [TS]

00:06:53   these two people they're really excited [TS]

00:06:54   to meet you [TS]

00:06:55   they are from rhapsody and of rhapsody [TS]

00:07:00   people said to us this is a golden [TS]

00:07:04   opportunity we really want to work with [TS]

00:07:06   artists like you we want to provide we [TS]

00:07:10   want to provide really like heightened [TS]

00:07:12   content to our look to our listeners we [TS]

00:07:17   want you to socially networked with with [TS]

00:07:21   people who are fans of yours on rhapsody [TS]

00:07:25   and Kathleen said she really put her [TS]

00:07:29   hand down on the table and said let me [TS]

00:07:31   stop you there [TS]

00:07:32   why would I socially networked with my [TS]

00:07:35   fans through your website answer and [TS]

00:07:40   they both went good question [TS]

00:07:43   well we really think that there's an [TS]

00:07:45   opportunity for you to meet people [TS]

00:07:47   online and she said hang on just a [TS]

00:07:51   second and she SAT there right in front [TS]

00:07:53   of the man tweeted and you any one of my [TS]

00:07:57   fans use rhapsody and she didn't use the [TS]

00:08:02   platform John within 30 seconds she had [TS]

00:08:05   25 replies all of them nope [TS]

00:08:08   and like two of them more like nope [TS]

00:08:10   nobody does and so she was like so [TS]

00:08:12   anyway anything else and it worked like [TS]

00:08:15   they were pretty flabbergasted because [TS]

00:08:18   they had a whole pitch and she just [TS]

00:08:23   simit artem I didn't I was eating a [TS]

00:08:25   chicken sandwich I didn't even I didn't [TS]

00:08:27   even like that you aren't you're called [TS]

00:08:29   upon [TS]

00:08:30   no I was in the sandwich and taking it [TS]

00:08:32   taking a drink of milk and nobody asked [TS]

00:08:34   me to set there with my eyes twinkling [TS]

00:08:37   but but yeah you and she should go into [TS]

00:08:41   business together [TS]

00:08:43   I should never be in any business but [TS]

00:08:45   for the opposite of corporate raiders [TS]

00:08:47   corporate corporate make Criers you can [TS]

00:08:50   just look around and you make [TS]

00:08:51   corporations cry anime if you're telling [TS]

00:08:54   me there might be a role for people to [TS]

00:08:57   speak way more truth to power than they [TS]

00:09:00   have ever heard [TS]

00:09:01   huh and we not only disrupt the [TS]

00:09:04   conversations that their use the empty [TS]

00:09:06   fucking buzzword Laden conversations [TS]

00:09:09   that they're used to having with other [TS]

00:09:10   people who think that's acceptable [TS]

00:09:12   yeah and we say two things to them in a [TS]

00:09:15   way that they're not used to and then [TS]

00:09:16   cry [TS]

00:09:16   yeah I think they need that John you [TS]

00:09:18   need to be on some boards i think [TS]

00:09:19   there's a job there [TS]

00:09:21   you know I I have all the confidence see [TS]

00:09:24   here's the thing i think if i walked [TS]

00:09:25   into a boardroom and there was 16 [TS]

00:09:28   million dollars in hundred-dollar bills [TS]

00:09:31   on the on the boardroom table that would [TS]

00:09:35   give me pause but I i had been fairly [TS]

00:09:41   confident that you and Kathleen Edwards [TS]

00:09:42   both could walk into a room with 16 [TS]

00:09:44   million dollars on the table now this is [TS]

00:09:47   it this isn't 16 million dollars that [TS]

00:09:49   it's been specified is intended for [TS]

00:09:51   anything it's just there [TS]

00:09:52   ok there's an intimidation tactic [TS]

00:09:54   they've just that and it's not stacked [TS]

00:09:57   they just kind of piled it there in [TS]

00:09:58   bundles like the world series of poker [TS]

00:10:00   foo and it's just there because they [TS]

00:10:04   know you're coming in they know you're [TS]

00:10:05   the people that are there to make [TS]

00:10:06   corporations cry and this is this is [TS]

00:10:10   their way of like that they're trying to [TS]

00:10:13   freak you out there trying to psych you [TS]

00:10:14   out [TS]

00:10:15   it's a bully tactic and i think i would [TS]

00:10:17   walk into that room with my bathrobe in [TS]

00:10:20   my seminar and I would see that six [TS]

00:10:21   million 16 million dollars and I would [TS]

00:10:24   get a little distracted but I think you [TS]

00:10:26   and Kathleen could you could both sit [TS]

00:10:29   atop that money [TS]

00:10:33   still deliver the bad news and not even [TS]

00:10:35   really notice the money was there [TS]

00:10:38   oh we're in it for the for the passion [TS]

00:10:40   it's all about the music with us I think [TS]

00:10:42   it's all about the music for you guys [TS]

00:10:44   yeah but you're also your get better [TS]

00:10:46   with money I mean you really you you are [TS]

00:10:48   and I must be honest this is all the [TS]

00:10:50   more reason why we should probably team [TS]

00:10:52   up right you want something [TS]

00:10:53   well you know you got somebody with good [TS]

00:10:55   knees to be the catcher you know and [TS]

00:10:57   somebody a little short guy is real [TS]

00:10:58   quick to be the shortstop [TS]

00:10:59   so you and Kathleen go in and you just [TS]

00:11:01   start hammering them and they're blown [TS]

00:11:03   away because they're used to people [TS]

00:11:04   freaking out about the money and i'm [TS]

00:11:06   behind i'm coming in behind and I'm [TS]

00:11:08   scooping the money into a trader joes [TS]

00:11:10   shopping back it's like bad cop worse [TS]

00:11:13   cop man in africa but I brought all my [TS]

00:11:17   trader joes shopping bags go back 15 [TS]

00:11:19   years every logo and I'm just sweeping [TS]

00:11:22   the money in there they're not even [TS]

00:11:23   noticing because they're so upset when [TS]

00:11:25   their blood is so the blood to thin [TS]

00:11:28   their phones are so thin and they're [TS]

00:11:29   there so they're so wrecked from a [TS]

00:11:31   context i like this i think this is a [TS]

00:11:34   great business model i think it is and [TS]

00:11:35   you know if I can find a way to get paid [TS]

00:11:37   for what I'm actually good at [TS]

00:11:39   i think i would be very successful the [TS]

00:11:41   problem is that historically i have been [TS]

00:11:43   paid for stuff that i am not [TS]

00:11:44   particularly good at and I've been lucky [TS]

00:11:46   sometimes but it's a that will not to [TS]

00:11:50   blow too much smoke but Merlin I think [TS]

00:11:51   that even the things that you consider [TS]

00:11:53   yourself not very good at you are way [TS]

00:11:55   better at than most people who are doing [TS]

00:11:57   that job that's why you get paid to do [TS]

00:12:00   those things [TS]

00:12:01   thank you but also it's the same problem [TS]

00:12:03   m CH Allen's the same gift [TS]

00:12:05   let's say that you've got which is that [TS]

00:12:08   and we can we talk about this we are [TS]

00:12:09   gifted men [TS]

00:12:10   we're extremely gifted we're lucky man [TS]

00:12:12   were middle-aged men who are lucky to be [TS]

00:12:15   alive [TS]

00:12:16   we are lucky to be alone every people [TS]

00:12:18   our people our age are dying of [TS]

00:12:20   congestive heart failure all over [TS]

00:12:22   America and i'm going to think about [TS]

00:12:23   that okay I'm sorry but we talked about [TS]

00:12:25   this little bit i think going to dad [TS]

00:12:27   that very important first interview [TS]

00:12:29   together in my back yard with the cat [TS]

00:12:31   and the Chinese people playing [TS]

00:12:32   basketball [TS]

00:12:33   mom you know I i really i really believe [TS]

00:12:35   that one of the things that makes you [TS]

00:12:37   such an interesting person is your it [TS]

00:12:43   seems like you have a biological source [TS]

00:12:46   of pain when you're expected to play [TS]

00:12:49   along with BS especially when it affects [TS]

00:12:51   you write it seems like a system is my [TS]

00:12:54   duodenum really what i have at the [TS]

00:12:57   bottom spasm for me it's my pyloric [TS]

00:12:58   valve all right itself feels right [TS]

00:13:01   especially when you're dealing with [TS]

00:13:04   mixes haha Boethius is wheel it turns [TS]

00:13:09   but now I mean uh huh yeah right time to [TS]

00:13:13   talk about real things but but you know [TS]

00:13:15   it'sit's III it's frustrating because I [TS]

00:13:17   I used to just think it was merely [TS]

00:13:19   because i have bad impulse control and [TS]

00:13:21   the truth is I have bad impulse control [TS]

00:13:23   but it also that like it's just it's [TS]

00:13:25   like you imagine like something somebody [TS]

00:13:27   comes to your door and they're trying to [TS]

00:13:28   sell you something and then they keep [TS]

00:13:31   talking to you and like the thing is you [TS]

00:13:33   don't want what they're selling you [TS]

00:13:34   don't want to be talking to them and you [TS]

00:13:36   don't want them at your door but like [TS]

00:13:38   you're the dick if you say could you the [TS]

00:13:41   only making always to say i have no [TS]

00:13:42   money and i will never have money that's [TS]

00:13:44   really the only way or shoot them up now [TS]

00:13:46   you gotta deal with the body [TS]

00:13:47   I don't know you you're one of those [TS]

00:13:49   guys and I i have known a few but but [TS]

00:13:52   but a very few where you know the the [TS]

00:13:54   insult of of complicity in modern life [TS]

00:13:59   is this death by a thousand cuts you [TS]

00:14:00   know it [TS]

00:14:01   everybody's standards are just Whittle [TS]

00:14:04   the way over the course of time and and [TS]

00:14:08   the the first time you see Madonna's [TS]

00:14:10   belly button on television it's on the [TS]

00:14:12   front it's on the cover of Time magazine [TS]

00:14:13   what in the front it is to civilization [TS]

00:14:16   and you know and as I've said before now [TS]

00:14:19   there is surely somewhere right now in a [TS]

00:14:23   club some pop star who is who is [TS]

00:14:25   stretching her labia over someone's [TS]

00:14:27   forehead and for a music video and [TS]

00:14:32   everybody's like amazing amazing how [TS]

00:14:35   come Madonna didn't do that how come [TS]

00:14:36   nobody thought of that before and it's [TS]

00:14:38   it's just that incremental e we have [TS]

00:14:40   grown accustomed to vulgarity and to [TS]

00:14:43   insult to such a degree that most people [TS]

00:14:47   are living in the this kind of state of [TS]

00:14:50   like of constant surrender and the the [TS]

00:14:54   only fight they can muster [TS]

00:14:56   he's like that's not my brand of ice [TS]

00:14:58   cream [TS]

00:14:59   you know that's not my that's not my [TS]

00:15:01   shit that's not my favorite channel and [TS]

00:15:04   I'm gonna and I'm I'm an amount of [TS]

00:15:06   protest but there are a few people like [TS]

00:15:09   you who have never accepted any of those [TS]

00:15:14   incremental degradation 'he's and you [TS]

00:15:19   are still fighting a fight way back [TS]

00:15:22   upstream where you're you're just you [TS]

00:15:25   are not accepting the basic premise that [TS]

00:15:29   a lot of people are our seasoning their [TS]

00:15:32   food with you know and I have a few [TS]

00:15:34   friends like this and some of the and [TS]

00:15:36   the problem is all you all in any don't [TS]

00:15:38   pay their bills but none of them do what [TS]

00:15:40   you know one of them is working as a [TS]

00:15:42   security guard and the problem is that [TS]

00:15:43   at a certain point that starts to look [TS]

00:15:47   like paranoia or you start to you start [TS]

00:15:50   to seem like a likely at least initially [TS]

00:15:52   look at least like a crank a crank [TS]

00:15:55   bordering on a conspiracy theorists are [TS]

00:15:58   bordering on you know it's it's ok it's [TS]

00:15:59   only two it's only two more doors down [TS]

00:16:02   the hall before you're starting to talk [TS]

00:16:04   about a bio streaks in the sky but [TS]

00:16:08   whatever whatever that it is about I saw [TS]

00:16:13   a billy corgan video where he's on stage [TS]

00:16:17   somewhere talking about talking about [TS]

00:16:19   the crop dusting shitting me [TS]

00:16:22   no you don't i'm talking about right [TS]

00:16:24   there I don't know I don't know about [TS]

00:16:25   this what is up with a blue streaks what [TS]

00:16:28   are they get so there's a whole subset [TS]

00:16:31   of the internet crank land that looks up [TS]

00:16:36   in the sky and sees put contrails from [TS]

00:16:39   jets and the array the arrangement of [TS]

00:16:44   contrails in the sky is pretentious to [TS]

00:16:49   them and f that is that is so not a [TS]

00:16:52   thing it's a thing and no way evidence [TS]

00:16:56   this bear with me evidence that the the [TS]

00:16:59   government and i'm not talking about and [TS]

00:17:03   I know my god [TS]

00:17:06   what about the Obama Nazis i'm talking [TS]

00:17:08   about the big government about that the [TS]

00:17:12   real talk about the real government they [TS]

00:17:15   are basically from a very high altitude [TS]

00:17:18   crop-dusting us with like powdered sugar [TS]

00:17:26   and LSD and birth control pills and some [TS]

00:17:31   you know and like he just like monkey [TS]

00:17:34   glands and Ted Nugent's g-string [TS]

00:17:38   underwear and I don't know what it is in [TS]

00:17:40   these what they're gassing us with I [TS]

00:17:43   haven't had not been able to follow in [TS]

00:17:46   their theory of this what what does that [TS]

00:17:48   dusting accomplished for the government [TS]

00:17:51   it is using against my client [TS]

00:17:54   yes it's another way you are blind to [TS]

00:17:57   the truth which is that we are being [TS]

00:17:59   chemically controlled I'm otherwise [TS]

00:18:03   controlled so that so that end goals [TS]

00:18:10   like universal healthcare can be forced [TS]

00:18:14   down our throats or worse worse things [TS]

00:18:17   like the all-seeing eye on top of the [TS]

00:18:20   pyramid [TS]

00:18:21   oh I've seen that Yeah Yeah Yeah right [TS]

00:18:22   well yeah you know when they hold your [TS]

00:18:25   hundred-dollar bill up to the light [TS]

00:18:26   they're just looking for Obama you found [TS]

00:18:28   that crystal ball wrapped in that piece [TS]

00:18:30   of a velvet that you're not supposed to [TS]

00:18:32   touch remember when the wizard said [TS]

00:18:35   don't look into the ball with the [TS]

00:18:37   tabernacle but I don't know what's in [TS]

00:18:41   the tabernacle but i dunno under Gustad [TS]

00:18:44   Switzerland there is a there is a mine [TS]

00:18:46   shaft leading to a room on remind me of [TS]

00:18:52   dr. Strangelove for the Jews are eating [TS]

00:18:55   Christian babies right to make them into [TS]

00:18:58   matzo bread and there's no but now [TS]

00:18:59   they're grinding their bones and their [TS]

00:19:01   crop dusting this with them is so right [TS]

00:19:03   yeah well that's what I heard well it [TS]

00:19:04   stands to reason so anyway if you if [TS]

00:19:08   Billy about that Jim Corrigan he you're [TS]

00:19:11   telling me he's up on stage and he's he [TS]

00:19:13   hit the the power to which he speaks [TS]

00:19:16   truth is the crop dusting government [TS]

00:19:19   that's right he's later people know [TS]

00:19:21   those are not just did that you're not [TS]

00:19:22   merely just lines of moisture in the sky [TS]

00:19:25   right there's something bigger going on [TS]

00:19:27   he is standing on stage somewhere in a [TS]

00:19:30   room full of people who believe that [TS]

00:19:31   melancholy and the infinite sadness of [TS]

00:19:34   the of the ARS poetica of the what was [TS]

00:19:40   that what was that I said when the wind [TS]

00:19:42   upon meets the Queen to the bishop 16 [TS]

00:19:46   Apple hundred i like his final Myra [TS]

00:19:48   despite all his race so just really goes [TS]

00:19:51   gay which I'm assuming now is like it [TS]

00:19:54   was taking a 250-seat club somewhere on [TS]

00:19:57   the outskirts of sick fall and he's up [TS]

00:19:59   on stage you know with us but the just a [TS]

00:20:01   silver star on his long sleeve t-shirt [TS]

00:20:04   and he's talking about these crop [TS]

00:20:06   described i wish i knew i wish i had a [TS]

00:20:08   keyboard i could figure out what these [TS]

00:20:10   things are called because they have a [TS]

00:20:11   name and everything it takes a look at [TS]

00:20:14   you were looking for like add contrail [TS]

00:20:17   crop on conspiracy [TS]

00:20:19   yeah maybe okay yeah and-and-and what's [TS]

00:20:22   great about it is that as evidence as [TS]

00:20:24   proof of this [TS]

00:20:25   they have photos and photos just volumes [TS]

00:20:29   of photos from haha contrails scarred [TS]

00:20:39   next makes tea leaves look pretty pretty [TS]

00:20:42   sophisticated because there's because [TS]

00:20:43   there's some going this way and then [TS]

00:20:45   there's some going on the guy John this [TS]

00:20:47   is real the chemtrail conspiracy theory [TS]

00:20:50   trails that's it come true that it's not [TS]

00:20:53   moisture the chemtrail conspiracy theory [TS]

00:20:56   holds that some trails left by aircraft [TS]

00:20:58   are chemical or biological agents [TS]

00:20:59   deliberately sprayed at high altitudes [TS]

00:21:02   for purposes undisclosed the general [TS]

00:21:04   public in clandestine programs directed [TS]

00:21:06   by various government officials area 51 [TS]

00:21:08   mm silver iodide yeah so their spring it [TS]

00:21:13   really high up so that it dissipates [TS]

00:21:15   over all of us include presumably the [TS]

00:21:20   pilots grandmothers and the and the u.s. [TS]

00:21:24   senator that lives in that town right i [TS]

00:21:26   mean it's it's like targeted at [TS]

00:21:30   everybody all the girls go to go to the [TS]

00:21:32   the poor neighborhoods of the people [TS]

00:21:33   with guns and right now we're doing here [TS]

00:21:36   here's one part is every 30,000 feet [TS]

00:21:38   over the poor neighborhoods very very [TS]

00:21:40   effective way to drop underwear now the [TS]

00:21:43   thing is so in the in the estimation of [TS]

00:21:45   these various scientists that are [TS]

00:21:47   studying this important work [TS]

00:21:49   what is what has happened as a result of [TS]

00:21:53   that hasn't well you look around you [TS]

00:21:57   the aforementioned labia artist the [TS]

00:22:01   writing the lady artist on contrail [TS]

00:22:03   chemicals i think the fact that the [TS]

00:22:05   website that the Jezebel website even [TS]

00:22:07   exists because of chemtrails that goes [TS]

00:22:12   that those women have become is that [TS]

00:22:14   empowered this is gonna be one of those [TS]

00:22:15   things like Scientology where I can't [TS]

00:22:17   think about it too much because i will i [TS]

00:22:19   will go down a certain kind of tone [TS]

00:22:22   level rabbit trail and then we'll start [TS]

00:22:23   think I'll start really thinking about [TS]

00:22:24   it in order to really understand [TS]

00:22:26   something you have to be a little bit [TS]

00:22:27   sympathetic I think me to understand [TS]

00:22:30   another person even if you disagree with [TS]

00:22:31   them you have to put yourself in their [TS]

00:22:34   in their chem trail shoes and try to [TS]

00:22:35   understand it and and I I worry [TS]

00:22:37   sometimes because I'm very susceptible [TS]

00:22:39   and very suggestible I guess yeah I [TS]

00:22:42   don't want to read i'm just gonna read [TS]

00:22:43   that first paragraph i think okay that [TS]

00:22:45   seems good to meet you here bored you [TS]

00:22:47   hear about this that you what you want [TS]

00:22:48   at the edge of the organ concert right [TS]

00:22:49   no but I you know I follow the line [TS]

00:22:52   follow the traits and I i spent some [TS]

00:22:55   time on the internet looking for [TS]

00:22:58   evidence of intelligent life and you're [TS]

00:23:01   looking in the wrong place but I am him [TS]

00:23:04   i'm an old man with the lamp searching [TS]

00:23:08   for something and the problem is that i [TS]

00:23:12   do not limit the corners of the internet [TS]

00:23:14   that i visit so I go if you only read [TS]

00:23:17   things you already know you're not [TS]

00:23:18   learning that's right but you're going [TS]

00:23:20   to have to be you or any other scholar [TS]

00:23:22   of a lamp would have you have to be [TS]

00:23:24   challenged you have to go into room that [TS]

00:23:26   you've never been into before something [TS]

00:23:28   which can be very dark [TS]

00:23:29   that's right am I wrong I have spent [TS]

00:23:31   I've spent more time than I care to [TS]

00:23:34   admit [TS]

00:23:34   like trolling not trolling but drawing [TS]

00:23:38   the the whole like white supremacist [TS]

00:23:41   underground [TS]

00:23:42   i have spent many many hours watching [TS]

00:23:45   the step dance routines of black [TS]

00:23:48   fraternities in the south [TS]

00:23:50   I have like like the family marching [TS]

00:23:55   band like fancy dances those things are [TS]

00:23:57   you not familiar with the step dancing [TS]

00:23:59   phenomenon is this this is that Harlem [TS]

00:24:01   shuffle thing [TS]

00:24:02   no no this is one of this is one of [TS]

00:24:05   America's great cultural clogging the [TS]

00:24:08   rains it is not unlike clogging I've [TS]

00:24:12   seen some clogging so this is a this is [TS]

00:24:14   a tradition in the black fraternities of [TS]

00:24:17   the you know the howard university in [TS]

00:24:20   the big universities in the south where [TS]

00:24:22   they duel with one another with a very [TS]

00:24:28   orchestrated kind of clog dancing called [TS]

00:24:34   stepping where they stand [TS]

00:24:36   they do this like hyper hyper a like [TS]

00:24:41   co-ordinated dance steps as a as a form [TS]

00:24:45   of competition with one another and it [TS]

00:24:46   is awesome [TS]

00:24:48   it is super super badass and it and it [TS]

00:24:52   has not really it is not really gone out [TS]

00:24:56   into the world like it there there has [TS]

00:24:59   never been a moment like there was with [TS]

00:25:01   voguing where it went from a kind of [TS]

00:25:04   underground culture and and became a [TS]

00:25:06   mainstream culture like I think there [TS]

00:25:08   was a while there may be the late [TS]

00:25:10   eighties me maybe kid and play had a [TS]

00:25:12   little bit of a sure step dancing as [TS]

00:25:15   part of one of their movies or I don't [TS]

00:25:16   know there was a million or more [TS]

00:25:18   probably like a dance kata like they [TS]

00:25:19   were showing you what they could do if [TS]

00:25:21   they decided to fight [TS]

00:25:22   yeah but it was always like it was [TS]

00:25:23   always to people dancing against each [TS]

00:25:25   other and this is like 25 people then [TS]

00:25:28   it's like marching band duels except [TS]

00:25:30   without the are both sides doing the [TS]

00:25:32   same dance [TS]

00:25:33   no no they like they bring their didn't [TS]

00:25:35   like it i mean i don't work thing but [TS]

00:25:37   it's kinda like a breakdance battle [TS]

00:25:38   don't you don't you do a prisoner like a [TS]

00:25:41   like a you know a michael jackson [TS]

00:25:42   thriller thing where you can like dance [TS]

00:25:44   against each other West Side Story style [TS]

00:25:46   yeah it yes there there there are [TS]

00:25:48   elements of that but it's also very [TS]

00:25:49   military like they're its kind of theirs [TS]

00:25:52   they're mine [TS]

00:25:53   King elements but you really have to [TS]

00:25:55   just really just have to spend the many [TS]

00:25:57   hours I will be there watching and you [TS]

00:26:00   don't like because some of them some of [TS]

00:26:02   you know some of those contests are [TS]

00:26:03   unfortunately none of them have really [TS]

00:26:06   been filmed professionally so you're [TS]

00:26:09   watching these contests than their film [TS]

00:26:11   from people's phones shot a feature [TS]

00:26:14   phone and you're just like oh come on i [TS]

00:26:16   wish that this at good sound and I wish [TS]

00:26:18   it had that sounds like a documentary on [TS]

00:26:20   netflix and I mean that's waiting to [TS]

00:26:22   happen [TS]

00:26:22   I bet that if there isn't one some [TS]

00:26:25   riders on the line listener is already [TS]

00:26:27   putting up a kickstart chuck klosterman [TS]

00:26:29   in thurston moore will be in it so any [TS]

00:26:32   first-time is stepping has taught me [TS]

00:26:34   many things and and one of my favorite [TS]

00:26:36   things right now is chemtrails ok just [TS]

00:26:39   dropped a little bit of thread there so [TS]

00:26:41   so stepping was that that's just an [TS]

00:26:43   example of the dark rooms into which you [TS]

00:26:45   will walk with your keyboard is why [TS]

00:26:47   wouldn't i wouldn't even call better [TS]

00:26:49   that's not our ping-pong apologize you [TS]

00:26:51   know like i have never have never used [TS]

00:26:55   tor or on any kind of onion start web [TS]

00:27:00   secret secret you have not used any of [TS]

00:27:03   the onion based IP obfuscation services [TS]

00:27:06   right i have not done any of that I go [TS]

00:27:09   into the I'm you know what I am a pete [TS]

00:27:12   townsend character and I'm out there [TS]

00:27:14   looking at terrible things on the [TS]

00:27:15   internet as part of my research and if i [TS]

00:27:18   get indicted right if I have my search [TS]

00:27:21   history comes up with a bunch of snuff [TS]

00:27:23   films and terrible like you know all the [TS]

00:27:27   terrible evil that's out there i am [TS]

00:27:30   fairly confident first of all that I'm [TS]

00:27:31   gonna know the FBI agent that is [TS]

00:27:33   assigned to the case and that he and I [TS]

00:27:36   are gonna have understanding ain't no [TS]

00:27:38   innocence that it'll be someone you're [TS]

00:27:39   familiar with but look at somebody that [TS]

00:27:41   but I probably went to college with her [TS]

00:27:43   or when you set up the meeting but [TS]

00:27:44   didn't go [TS]

00:27:45   yeah he's more he might be erotic on the [TS]

00:27:47   line listener and if that isn't if that [TS]

00:27:50   isn't enough then probably the district [TS]

00:27:53   attorney's father went to law school [TS]

00:27:55   with my dad it what I'm saying is the [TS]

00:27:59   old boy network is going to take care of [TS]

00:28:00   this and I'm not going to get in trouble [TS]

00:28:02   that's how I go through life that's how [TS]

00:28:04   i make it happen okay yeah I [TS]

00:28:07   somebody somebody has to be the peak [TS]

00:28:09   terms of our modern day and be out there [TS]

00:28:11   looking at terrible things as a way of [TS]

00:28:14   bearing witness [TS]

00:28:18   it'sit's something in my first move I [TS]

00:28:20   guess I i became aware of late in my [TS]

00:28:22   tenure of living in the south and I [TS]

00:28:24   don't think it's peculiar to the south [TS]

00:28:26   but there's a funny thing that I would [TS]

00:28:27   encounter which is people thinking that [TS]

00:28:31   because you know about something you not [TS]

00:28:34   only like are like a prove it but that [TS]

00:28:37   you do it em like you said in the office [TS]

00:28:40   and go pumas artifacts that i'm totally [TS]

00:28:41   on crack and they would look at you and [TS]

00:28:43   think you you actually were literally [TS]

00:28:45   thinking about doing crack that he was [TS]

00:28:47   saying is you had said that you were [TS]

00:28:49   well I mean I'm being a little bit [TS]

00:28:50   extreme but like it's such a faux pas [TS]

00:28:53   I mean you know in in certain we've [TS]

00:28:55   talked about this before but in certain [TS]

00:28:57   little subsets of of the culture you [TS]

00:29:01   know a lot of what is said is what is [TS]

00:29:02   not said and there are certain things [TS]

00:29:04   that you know they could be a real turd [TS]

00:29:06   in the punchbowl like if I said turn the [TS]

00:29:07   punch bowl in the office like that would [TS]

00:29:09   probably mean people don't think I like [TS]

00:29:10   to drink turns or something you're gross [TS]

00:29:12   with you how terms of you put in [TS]

00:29:14   Punchbowl out the Cadillac bad at all [TS]

00:29:17   I am I punchbowl you know we we you and [TS]

00:29:22   I between the two of us we've seen a lot [TS]

00:29:24   of things we've gone down a lot of roads [TS]

00:29:27   and it's only made us more helpful [TS]

00:29:32   I i think so and I mean I in some ways [TS]

00:29:35   I'm excuse me I'm sometimes grateful [TS]

00:29:37   well I'm often grateful for things like [TS]

00:29:39   YouTube like you know like tonight I got [TS]

00:29:41   to go [TS]

00:29:41   found a couple like things by elliott [TS]

00:29:43   smith and posted on my website I'm glad [TS]

00:29:44   that's out there but sometimes I won't [TS]

00:29:46   find myself using YouTube for what it's [TS]

00:29:48   actually for which is following your [TS]

00:29:51   nose deeper and deeper and deeper into [TS]

00:29:54   something super duper weird that you had [TS]

00:29:56   no idea [TS]

00:29:57   lots of people would in this case make [TS]

00:29:59   videos about that somebody has to knows [TS]

00:30:02   all i thought it was all just guys [TS]

00:30:03   getting hit in the nuts when they're [TS]

00:30:05   trying to skateboard down or railing [TS]

00:30:07   yeah they call it they called board [TS]

00:30:09   napping [TS]

00:30:10   I don't know that I'm sure I'm sure that [TS]

00:30:12   that's John right by me that could be [TS]

00:30:14   something as benign as like people [TS]

00:30:16   playing ukulele covers of songs [TS]

00:30:18   that could be a thing that you for [TS]

00:30:20   awhile i happen to know that it's a [TS]

00:30:23   thing it's a thing that made Jonathan [TS]

00:30:25   Coulton a lot of money huh [TS]

00:30:29   ok put ads on the page no because [TS]

00:30:32   covering jonathan coulton music on the [TS]

00:30:34   ukulele covering jonathan coulton to [TS]

00:30:37   John Collins music in a twee way over on [TS]

00:30:41   the ukulele has actually spawned all [TS]

00:30:44   those onra it's their name for it i [TS]

00:30:48   think it's called uh I think that it's [TS]

00:30:51   called impacted thank you i see a lot of [TS]

00:30:55   fluid system i saw it is not Tom Cruise [TS]

00:30:58   crazy one time that was really really [TS]

00:30:59   good [TS]

00:31:00   yeah but it's like you know I think [TS]

00:31:03   there should be you know it's funny like [TS]

00:31:04   right now the youtube people can do [TS]

00:31:08   things like you know using algorithms [TS]

00:31:10   they can basically find any copyrighted [TS]

00:31:12   music that's they can try anyway to find [TS]

00:31:14   a nice music that's used in a video or [TS]

00:31:17   something like that you know I i think [TS]

00:31:19   it would be nice to to let me know ahead [TS]

00:31:21   of time before i click on the video that [TS]

00:31:22   it's a ukulele cover and it would be [TS]

00:31:24   really nice like if I'm gonna go like I [TS]

00:31:26   say if i want to find some built to [TS]

00:31:28   spill I would please make it clear that [TS]

00:31:31   this is shot with somebody's chickie [TS]

00:31:33   feature phone that's the kind of thing [TS]

00:31:34   that would make that useful because [TS]

00:31:35   that's a lot of wasted time that [TS]

00:31:37   something could be spending on [TS]

00:31:38   chemtrails well this is the thing I read [TS]

00:31:41   this article in wired not very long ago [TS]

00:31:43   which I subscribe to and have subscribe [TS]

00:31:47   to wired for many years because I [TS]

00:31:49   believe that you don't you have to show [TS]

00:31:51   your bona fides to me i believe i know [TS]

00:31:53   that L computers that if a person reads [TS]

00:31:56   wired yes and discover magazine that may [TS]

00:31:59   know all science that is all you need to [TS]

00:32:04   know all science but this article in [TS]

00:32:07   wired said they keep making these bigger [TS]

00:32:09   and bigger tvs that have more and more [TS]

00:32:11   features but none of them are useful [TS]

00:32:12   because television sucks [TS]

00:32:15   it's pretty good and I was like huh that [TS]

00:32:18   that's really exactly true and this this [TS]

00:32:22   article went on to say like you can you [TS]

00:32:25   know your TV supposedly allows me to [TS]

00:32:27   sink 10,000 things but really I just [TS]

00:32:31   want to watch dr. Strangelove and I [TS]

00:32:35   don't want to and I can't find it [TS]

00:32:37   anywhere and I don't want to have to [TS]

00:32:39   type dr. Strangelove into 17 different [TS]

00:32:42   yeah you seem like a four-way Genghis [TS]

00:32:44   yeah using a dingus type it into all [TS]

00:32:46   these different menus and nobody has it [TS]

00:32:48   and you know and he's like here we have [TS]

00:32:52   the tvs like that that's peaked we don't [TS]

00:32:56   need more we don't need higher [TS]

00:32:57   definition we don't need bigger tvs we [TS]

00:33:00   got it now where it's mastered now we [TS]

00:33:03   need someone to figure out how to make [TS]

00:33:05   watching TV even remotely pleasurable to [TS]

00:33:09   someone that doesn't spend four hours a [TS]

00:33:11   day figuring out their TV [TS]

00:33:13   yeah it's it's it's a promise not so far [TS]

00:33:16   off what I felt like I was facing a [TS]

00:33:18   little bit today which is that um you [TS]

00:33:22   I mean whatever your business's there's [TS]

00:33:23   really only so much you can do like if [TS]

00:33:25   you shine shoes for a living [TS]

00:33:26   there's not much that you can do to [TS]

00:33:27   improve the quality of the shoes that [TS]

00:33:29   are manufactured that that man or woman [TS]

00:33:32   shoeshine person can only do so much to [TS]

00:33:33   improve what's out there that you know [TS]

00:33:35   it's not is it do you think it's up to [TS]

00:33:37   the TV makers to make a better show no [TS]

00:33:40   but but this is that this is the [TS]

00:33:42   direction of the like I think the TV [TS]

00:33:46   makers could they they are what we have [TS]

00:33:51   now is is 40 interfaces and what we need [TS]

00:33:55   is one interface [TS]

00:33:56   yeah and Sony is as capable as anyone up [TS]

00:34:01   being the person that makes the one [TS]

00:34:03   interface you know like Sony doesn't [TS]

00:34:06   sony could could be at the forefront of [TS]

00:34:11   the technology we need you know the TV [TS]

00:34:15   makers are also makers of other things [TS]

00:34:17   and I don't know what was that can you [TS]

00:34:19   tell us what the company was that you [TS]

00:34:21   visited today [TS]

00:34:22   no absolutely not [TS]

00:34:23   thank you though um the third there may [TS]

00:34:27   be something to what we're talking about [TS]

00:34:29   this is why I don't make it all about [TS]

00:34:31   the money but this also might be where [TS]

00:34:33   you meet Kathryn thinking the Kathleen I [TS]

00:34:35   think maybe maybe Jason Finn we could [TS]

00:34:37   find a role for is a good polish your [TS]

00:34:41   bowling balls but he paid to have that [TS]

00:34:44   done he does but you know the you know [TS]

00:34:48   here here's one of the problems is that [TS]

00:34:50   if you look at all the stuff in general [TS]

00:34:51   you know all aspects of like [TS]

00:34:53   entertainment and dealing with other [TS]

00:34:54   people like all the stuff that the [TS]

00:34:57   internet is you know kind of there to [TS]

00:34:59   help us do all of the innovation so much [TS]

00:35:02   of the innovation that we see is mainly [TS]

00:35:05   to become a barely profitable nuisance [TS]

00:35:07   and and so what that nuisance in some [TS]

00:35:09   ways could be that you well if you want [TS]

00:35:11   if you want to find dr. Strangelove [TS]

00:35:12   you're gonna have to go through this [TS]

00:35:14   search system that you know unless [TS]

00:35:16   you're gonna go out and steal it [TS]

00:35:17   you're going to have to go through this [TS]

00:35:18   really byzantine you know way to find [TS]

00:35:21   this movie I've been trying to find this [TS]

00:35:22   one documentary that I've heard a lot [TS]

00:35:24   about and basically i'm going to have to [TS]

00:35:26   buy a plastic disc from amazon in order [TS]

00:35:29   to watch it like I've got money i will [TS]

00:35:31   not a lot but i mean i'll pay to watch [TS]

00:35:33   it right now [TS]

00:35:34   I do it all the time i bought I bought [TS]

00:35:35   the matrix the other night like just for [TS]

00:35:37   fun because I wanted to watch it because [TS]

00:35:38   it's really easy to do on my own TV but [TS]

00:35:41   but I mean like for example we subscribe [TS]

00:35:43   to this thing you know called hulu which [TS]

00:35:45   gives you access to you know a whole [TS]

00:35:48   bunch of shows and I'm Geico commercials [TS]

00:35:51   this is my point John it was my wife's [TS]

00:35:54   idea i'm in it for the long haul with my [TS]

00:35:56   lady if she wants to do we get hulu and [TS]

00:35:58   like I tried to watch a Saturday Night [TS]

00:36:00   Live episode and i fast-forwarded and [TS]

00:36:03   like the thing froze up because i was [TS]

00:36:05   like trying I wasn't trying to avoid a [TS]

00:36:07   commercial I was not trying to be out of [TS]

00:36:08   compliance and throws up the box that [TS]

00:36:11   was on but I think about the thing with [TS]

00:36:13   I don't see anything is Rhapsody yeah [TS]

00:36:15   one of the doctors but it's but like in [TS]

00:36:18   that case that you're saying like I ok [TS]

00:36:19   here's another example um what you were [TS]

00:36:22   there [TS]

00:36:22   MC Hammer's birthday party right as i [TS]

00:36:24   was in all of them is 50th birthday [TS]

00:36:26   party but that was a weird night I i was [TS]

00:36:29   very weird lost to get sweatshirt that [TS]

00:36:30   night but um but in that case it's for [TS]

00:36:33   you but you were hilarious that night so [TS]

00:36:34   was I yeah because i was making fun [TS]

00:36:37   a friend yeah you're here making fun of [TS]

00:36:39   of all the tech nerd ladies me [TS]

00:36:43   yeah there was a there was a tape we [TS]

00:36:45   were sitting at is it is really nice [TS]

00:36:46   house and accidentally making fun of him [TS]

00:36:47   and you made fun of him being but but [TS]

00:36:49   you may not remember may not remember [TS]

00:36:51   this because you were celebrated with [TS]

00:36:52   MCM oh so so effusively but but we were [TS]

00:36:56   sitting at a table and a bunch of Tom's [TS]

00:36:58   that was so funny [TS]

00:37:00   20-something kids in skinny pants came [TS]

00:37:03   and join us at the table and they were [TS]

00:37:04   all hyper confidence stanford grads who [TS]

00:37:09   all had a twitter app or a new startup [TS]

00:37:13   that they were really excited about and [TS]

00:37:16   they started to try to talk to you about [TS]

00:37:19   the internet do you think do you think [TS]

00:37:21   they like it they'll do she don't think [TS]

00:37:24   they were like familiar with me do you [TS]

00:37:27   well what I think was that you had [TS]

00:37:29   another guest at the table that was much [TS]

00:37:31   better noon and I yeah yeah there was a [TS]

00:37:33   there was someone else the table that [TS]

00:37:34   was more of those more famous than us [TS]

00:37:35   all but they were they started talking [TS]

00:37:38   to you and they realized they clocked me [TS]

00:37:41   at the clock as the internet guy at [TS]

00:37:43   first at first you you told them [TS]

00:37:46   successfully but then they got them they [TS]

00:37:48   were wise to you but they weren't sure [TS]

00:37:51   like where you are coming from and they [TS]

00:37:53   were fascinated by you and then their [TS]

00:37:55   fascination with you made you furious [TS]

00:37:58   and then you really really wanted to you [TS]

00:38:03   don't really do that [TS]

00:38:04   yeah there you really wanted to see them [TS]

00:38:06   talk like in the stocks in the public [TS]

00:38:08   square if you wanted you wanted to say [TS]

00:38:10   some science bed a on all of them and [TS]

00:38:14   they and they were terrible thing to do [TS]

00:38:17   no no it was wonderful because they were [TS]

00:38:19   they were the the san francisco kids i'm [TS]

00:38:22   sure they all had out e8 cuatros valet [TS]

00:38:26   parked with like ground effects and [TS]

00:38:29   personalized license plates and these [TS]

00:38:31   kids deserve to be taken to task for [TS]

00:38:34   being like tasteless little douches but [TS]

00:38:37   but you but you are also that I [TS]

00:38:40   Solarians critical in moments like that [TS]

00:38:42   it's a [TS]

00:38:44   just so amazing that that is the kind of [TS]

00:38:45   person that you would meet at MC [TS]

00:38:47   Hammer's 50th birthday party right you [TS]

00:38:50   would think MC Hammer's 50th birthday [TS]

00:38:51   party was going to be full of like [TS]

00:38:54   former Oakland A's like I would've met [TS]

00:38:57   like I don't like like I mean really [TS]

00:38:58   Brown was there that was kind of cool [TS]

00:39:00   he's the best but the guy didn't get any [TS]

00:39:02   weekend plans or anything [TS]

00:39:04   yeah right but the red but everybody [TS]

00:39:05   else in there is like 24 years old and [TS]

00:39:08   and like there's the asian one and then [TS]

00:39:11   there's the blonde one and the mr. [TS]

00:39:12   Finkel bosses and they're all wearing [TS]

00:39:15   uniqlo close at like uniqlo pink khakis [TS]

00:39:21   and they are so excited about talking [TS]

00:39:24   about the internet and you just you it [TS]

00:39:29   was like we were there too and it's like [TS]

00:39:31   was worried about was like like in the [TS]

00:39:33   area where we were kind of camped out [TS]

00:39:34   there was a group that correct me if I'm [TS]

00:39:37   wrong but there was a group that really [TS]

00:39:38   a clip here to be armed at a a noise [TS]

00:39:42   real name i forget his real name but MC [TS]

00:39:44   Hammer like I will call him his like [TS]

00:39:47   there was like really his family writers [TS]

00:39:49   his normal-looking Oakland [TS]

00:39:51   african-american family in their Sunday [TS]

00:39:53   go to church clothes looking like [TS]

00:39:54   they're being and it was really nice and [TS]

00:39:57   he had obviously been talking a lot of [TS]

00:39:58   people into this party and it looked [TS]

00:39:59   like they were having fun and we're like [TS]

00:40:01   looked awesome and then there was a lot [TS]

00:40:03   of douchebags like us there was like [TS]

00:40:05   yeah you outside and remember I was [TS]

00:40:07   delayed coming in because i was talking [TS]

00:40:09   to this guy who's anybody doesn't matter [TS]

00:40:12   but he's like a super famous internet [TS]

00:40:13   guy like a wire [TS]

00:40:14   why are we here why are you here but you [TS]

00:40:16   can't really talk about that because [TS]

00:40:18   this Liberty i mean i was there because [TS]

00:40:19   i'm a rockstar yeah you gotta send that [TS]

00:40:22   was your friend [TS]

00:40:23   it was it was my friends my friends [TS]

00:40:27   friend the e-k-u can really your [TS]

00:40:29   friend's wife [TS]

00:40:30   no it was my friend's friend that was [TS]

00:40:32   smoking an e-cigarette that you really [TS]

00:40:35   took two tabs actually wizard really big [TS]

00:40:38   test for his multimillion-dollar house [TS]

00:40:41   anyway anyway [TS]

00:40:44   the problem is the problem is that like [TS]

00:40:47   the only way to the people it seems to [TS]

00:40:49   that sometimes it's strange to me that [TS]

00:40:51   like and I think this goes to your TV [TS]

00:40:53   point is that ok great guys we perfected [TS]

00:40:55   the tvs [TS]

00:40:56   now or in this case we can make the [TS]

00:40:58   internet go fast and be reliable and [TS]

00:41:00   you're like your browser won't crash as [TS]

00:41:02   much but like now you know sort of what [TS]

00:41:04   we have to look at but to get stuff we [TS]

00:41:06   want to look at you have to find a way [TS]

00:41:07   to pay for it or I know ideally [TS]

00:41:09   bandwidth isn't is that was surprisingly [TS]

00:41:11   expensive for a lot of this stuff and so [TS]

00:41:13   but the trouble is the best way that a [TS]

00:41:15   lot of people have figured out to do [TS]

00:41:18   that is to is to annoy people is is is [TS]

00:41:21   to be a nuisance [TS]

00:41:22   yeah and like I heard an interview with [TS]

00:41:24   you the other day where you were talking [TS]

00:41:26   to somebody [TS]

00:41:27   this is two guys in Canada about your [TS]

00:41:29   music and talking about the idea of you [TS]

00:41:31   know quit stealing music and what it [TS]

00:41:33   means and you know it's funny though [TS]

00:41:36   because I'm more drawn to this having a [TS]

00:41:39   very clearly delineated relationship [TS]

00:41:41   where I pay a certain amount of money [TS]

00:41:43   and get a thing kinda like it's like [TS]

00:41:45   like Middle Ages kind of stuff I don't [TS]

00:41:47   mind it at all i'm just going to my Lou [TS]

00:41:49   and like watching commercials will [TS]

00:41:50   adam-12 is on does not make me happy [TS]

00:41:52   no but I went to next links and i typed [TS]

00:41:56   in what do you think I typed in [TS]

00:41:57   Auschwitz you already know that you have [TS]

00:42:02   seen everything that has out within the [TS]

00:42:03   title no I went to I went to the netflix [TS]

00:42:06   as you do and i type in dean martin [TS]

00:42:07   short because I was like you know what I [TS]

00:42:10   want to see right now I want to see [TS]

00:42:11   anything with Dean Martin minutes and [TS]

00:42:14   netflix says the new keyword returns no [TS]

00:42:19   results and I'm like if you are if you [TS]

00:42:22   are a purveyor of of movies and a person [TS]

00:42:27   can't go into the search bar at the top [TS]

00:42:30   of your product and put in Dean fucking [TS]

00:42:33   Martin and not get back the wealth of [TS]

00:42:37   the 20th century [TS]

00:42:39   yeah I you know I should have I should [TS]

00:42:41   have been one click away from Lucille [TS]

00:42:44   Ball I should have been with sammy davis [TS]

00:42:47   jr. the most entertaining man has ever [TS]

00:42:48   lived [TS]

00:42:49   I should have been i should have been [TS]

00:42:50   that close to bing crosby I should have [TS]

00:42:52   been that guy should have been seeing [TS]

00:42:54   Jonathan winters into cliques and [TS]

00:42:56   instead I get returns no result [TS]

00:42:59   you know here's the thing John I as I [TS]

00:43:02   sit here i am realizing that the matrix [TS]

00:43:03   which i bought for I think ten dollars [TS]

00:43:05   American [TS]

00:43:05   on the appletv I'm realizing I'm deep [TS]

00:43:08   inside the matrix because I thought [TS]

00:43:09   about that for a second and I thought oh [TS]

00:43:11   you'll get oceans 11 you make it the [TS]

00:43:13   colgate you know Jerry Lewis shows [TS]

00:43:16   something but then I stopped for a [TS]

00:43:17   second i said holy shit there's no [TS]

00:43:19   fucking Dean Martin on netflix but think [TS]

00:43:22   about being a little kid thinking about [TS]

00:43:24   being a kid when we were kids and the [TS]

00:43:25   incredibly entertaining people who were [TS]

00:43:27   doing things that but there's no Edwin I [TS]

00:43:29   bet there's very little Jack Benny but [TS]

00:43:31   here's the thing years of here's the [TS]

00:43:32   thing that I have no way of knowing [TS]

00:43:33   merlin which is that on netflix I'm sure [TS]

00:43:37   there's tons of Denmark but me as a dope [TS]

00:43:42   I don't know how to find it now fighting [TS]

00:43:44   with google when I put Dean Martin in i [TS]

00:43:47   am two clicks away from watching free [TS]

00:43:48   Dean Martin on youtube but I was in a [TS]

00:43:51   pay service and the thing I thought of [TS]

00:43:54   was I want to watch a movie and their [TS]

00:43:57   algorithm is not written to allow me to [TS]

00:43:59   put the name of somebody in I had they [TS]

00:44:03   want they want me to put like they want [TS]

00:44:06   me to do you hear me to appear as like a [TS]

00:44:09   as a marquee name that we have to be [TS]

00:44:12   right so what they want me to do is go [TS]

00:44:14   to westerns and then go to matt helm [TS]

00:44:19   fifties westerns you know like the and [TS]

00:44:22   that is that's what i'm saying when I [TS]

00:44:24   say that we have the tvs now but nobody [TS]

00:44:28   has figured out a way other than other [TS]

00:44:29   than Google and YouTube to get me my [TS]

00:44:32   Dean fucking Martin as fast as I [TS]

00:44:35   possibly can you know like i do not want [TS]

00:44:38   to sit and have to think of how to get [TS]

00:44:40   it [TS]

00:44:40   I don't want to put some like it hot in [TS]

00:44:42   there I don't want to put you know I [TS]

00:44:45   don't want to have to chase Dean Dean is [TS]

00:44:50   being teen already is being chased by so [TS]

00:44:54   many people want it should be a button [TS]

00:44:57   should be a preset you know what it [TS]

00:44:59   should be like one of these f it should [TS]

00:45:00   be f7 on every solar powered keyboard f7 [TS]

00:45:06   that's pretty good I i think yeah yeah I [TS]

00:45:08   guess I I think of it sometimes like for [TS]

00:45:11   example like I have this is some [TS]

00:45:12   surprises are you were breaking the [TS]

00:45:13   rules talking about the internet a [TS]

00:45:15   little their kids listening to this [TS]

00:45:16   podcast you have never heard of being [TS]

00:45:17   Martin that's a goddamn shame that you [TS]

00:45:19   know what that is chemtrails you think [TS]

00:45:22   that's what it is [TS]

00:45:22   chemtrails and make your family make [TS]

00:45:24   your parents not tell you about Dean [TS]

00:45:26   Martin they were raised by somebody who [TS]

00:45:29   was like um Dean Martin's pretty sexist [TS]

00:45:32   remember the quarterfinals stickers [TS]

00:45:34   remember his dancers on the Dean Martin [TS]

00:45:37   show [TS]

00:45:38   oh do I oh my god they were like solid [TS]

00:45:40   gold before solid gold they were really [TS]

00:45:42   handsome women well think about think [TS]

00:45:45   about Jill st. John no I can't no don't [TS]

00:45:50   say and Margaret had a super I was going [TS]

00:45:53   that I know and market on the Dean [TS]

00:45:56   Martin show God now now i would be our [TS]

00:45:59   5th Red Door now fast-forward to Keisha [TS]

00:46:01   that the lady with the dollar sign your [TS]

00:46:04   name her baby over someones for home in [TS]

00:46:07   a music video and try to tell me tell me [TS]

00:46:13   tell me that's probably have seven if [TS]

00:46:16   you have seven you're gonna see cakey [TS]

00:46:19   dollar sciences lobbyists literally [TS]

00:46:21   literally literally over a lobby [TS]

00:46:24   microphone i think of it like this John [TS]

00:46:27   I think of it like a minibar call em oh [TS]

00:46:33   I think you look at minibar like that's [TS]

00:46:36   a lot of these a lot of these services [TS]

00:46:38   are like a mini bar where you go there [TS]

00:46:40   and you open it up and you have a pretty [TS]

00:46:42   good idea of what kind of stuff is in [TS]

00:46:43   there and like if you want anything else [TS]

00:46:45   you're probably going to have to find it [TS]

00:46:47   or steal it from somewhere else and hurt [TS]

00:46:49   their talk about the time I was think [TS]

00:46:51   that the the the brand-new hilton hotel [TS]

00:46:53   in austin now and John Flansburg shows [TS]

00:46:57   up in my room and he's got the guy who [TS]

00:47:01   made that that documentary the crews [TS]

00:47:05   have you ever seen that about the guy [TS]

00:47:07   who's who gives you it gives tours of [TS]

00:47:09   New York City but a and he's like on a [TS]

00:47:13   double-decker bus like talking about the [TS]

00:47:14   architecture in the history of New York [TS]

00:47:16   but he's making it all up [TS]

00:47:18   haha it's all just a lie [TS]

00:47:22   so John Flansburg get this guy show up [TS]

00:47:24   at my hotel room and Flansburg precedes [TS]

00:47:27   to open up my minibar and then you know [TS]

00:47:30   and then all of a sudden there's like 35 [TS]

00:47:32   people in my room [TS]

00:47:33   people like people there's a guy like [TS]

00:47:35   cutting calluses off his feet to make [TS]

00:47:38   somebody pissed somebody in a top hat [TS]

00:47:41   and there's a guy with a with a [TS]

00:47:43   cockatiel thinks brothers like room [TS]

00:47:45   service and I might like i was i was [TS]

00:47:47   about to post about to call it a night [TS]

00:47:50   anyway plans bring opens up the minibar [TS]

00:47:51   and out it all goes into the room and [TS]

00:47:55   this is one of those hilton hotel many [TS]

00:47:57   bars with like full bottles of red wine [TS]

00:47:59   oh dear and you know who knows what else [TS]

00:48:03   like shrimp chips [TS]

00:48:05   I don't know what's in there selling [TS]

00:48:07   kids it goes out into the room and the [TS]

00:48:09   bed the party rages until the wee hours [TS]

00:48:10   and then after I finally kick everybody [TS]

00:48:14   else and I make the guy pick up his [TS]

00:48:15   calluses and take him out got the guy [TS]

00:48:19   with the bird and I'm kicking everybody [TS]

00:48:20   out plans brings the last to go and he [TS]

00:48:23   turns around and he's slaps a 2000 [TS]

00:48:30   that's gonna be like a good party kid [TS]

00:48:33   good job see you next week kidding no [TS]

00:48:36   hay he actually thought that would cover [TS]

00:48:40   even a fraction of that I you know he's [TS]

00:48:43   just using this was a monkey's IDK screw [TS]

00:48:46   with you there's no way beautiful boot [TS]

00:48:48   the cheapest bottle of wine in [TS]

00:48:50   perspective $85 know maybe maybe he only [TS]

00:48:53   eats out of other people's many bars [TS]

00:48:55   medication that's possibly you know I [TS]

00:48:57   you know I've known him a long time but [TS]

00:48:59   I think he may travel with that group of [TS]

00:49:00   people i think there's 35 people waiting [TS]

00:49:03   for his waiting for him to boom he just [TS]

00:49:06   goes boop and then [TS]

00:49:07   Oh every any hotel room can become it's [TS]

00:49:13   a mad mad mad world hit gonna get email [TS]

00:49:15   but um [TS]

00:49:18   that's the 20 them right there right [TS]

00:49:22   there on the dresser [TS]

00:49:23   good good party kids his sentence for [TS]

00:49:25   you the cruise is unavailable to stream [TS]

00:49:27   just search for netflix nothing see the [TS]

00:49:31   cruise is unavailable to stream one of [TS]

00:49:33   the great films of our time [TS]

00:49:35   yeah now it is frustrating and dad [TS]

00:49:39   ya-ya-ya-ya-ya anyone about the internet [TS]

00:49:42   yeah but you know there's this deeper [TS]

00:49:44   thing and adjusted to return quickly to [TS]

00:49:46   that to that idea though [TS]

00:49:47   and one of the things that I that I find [TS]

00:49:49   so fascinating about you and I find so [TS]

00:49:51   unintentionally sickeningly inspiring [TS]

00:49:54   about you [TS]

00:49:55   mm you're welcome it is a I don't know [TS]

00:49:58   is that i don't know how to describe it [TS]

00:50:01   but not lonely putting this believe it [TS]

00:50:03   this way like when I go and let's just [TS]

00:50:06   say in the abstract going visit with [TS]

00:50:08   people I i sometimes get the feeling and [TS]

00:50:11   it's not stipulate this is what shows [TS]

00:50:13   that I'm Way out of touch i'm not [TS]

00:50:14   showing that i'm like a cool outside i'm [TS]

00:50:16   showing that i'm like a psychopath to [TS]

00:50:17   the rest of the world is like that [TS]

00:50:19   conversation that you Kathleen had with [TS]

00:50:21   the very nice people Rhapsody who are [TS]

00:50:22   they were lovely [TS]

00:50:24   they're lovely people the one of the one [TS]

00:50:26   of the co-founders cousin was my wife's [TS]

00:50:28   best friend I admire their servers their [TS]

00:50:30   wedding and so they're wonderful [TS]

00:50:32   wonderful people but you what you're [TS]

00:50:34   describing is not unusual at all which [TS]

00:50:36   is first of all that's really super [TS]

00:50:37   fucking clueless like you know and when [TS]

00:50:40   I mentioned MC Hammer because there was [TS]

00:50:42   a time I remember when MC Hammer [TS]

00:50:43   announced that he was going to be [TS]

00:50:45   launching a new site that was going to [TS]

00:50:47   be the YouTube of dance videos and so [TS]

00:50:50   you can already guess what the joke is [TS]

00:50:51   no there's already a youtube videos [TS]

00:50:53   right and what's called you do exactly [TS]

00:50:56   and and so you know when somebody when [TS]

00:50:58   somebody says something like we want to [TS]

00:51:00   be I'm just toss this out but we want to [TS]

00:51:02   be the social we want to insert pictures [TS]

00:51:06   we want to be sure like we want to be [TS]

00:51:08   like we have an interactive music [TS]

00:51:11   engagement platform that we think will [TS]

00:51:13   make us the the Twitter of streaming [TS]

00:51:17   music like they really feel like that's [TS]

00:51:20   what they know how to build right they [TS]

00:51:21   know how to build that stuff they know [TS]

00:51:23   there needs to be a social media [TS]

00:51:24   component to it but like the frustrating [TS]

00:51:25   part is like several levels of [TS]

00:51:27   frustrating and that to me which is like [TS]

00:51:29   first of all I'm supposed to sit there [TS]

00:51:31   are you just sit there and act like that [TS]

00:51:33   makes any fucking sense at all [TS]

00:51:35   you know what you really want me to do [TS]

00:51:36   what you really want me to do is go and [TS]

00:51:38   produce content for you for free and act [TS]

00:51:42   like that is benefiting me to be [TS]

00:51:44   basically pouring myself and my [TS]

00:51:46   credibility into this thing that you're [TS]

00:51:49   not willing to to see to me is not that [TS]

00:51:52   interesting and it's not really going to [TS]

00:51:54   do that much for me you want me to as my [TS]

00:51:56   as we take back my church you want me to [TS]

00:51:58   basically put my candle under a bushel [TS]

00:52:00   basket you want exclusivity that does [TS]

00:52:02   not benefit me or my fans at all fans [TS]

00:52:06   fuck fans people who are vaguely [TS]

00:52:08   interested in anything that you do to to [TS]

00:52:10   go and put that into this little silo [TS]

00:52:12   that nobody can see and and then you [TS]

00:52:15   know rap public service as around isn't [TS]

00:52:17   helping anybody my own my question to [TS]

00:52:19   you is when people in your church say [TS]

00:52:21   put your candle under a bushel basket [TS]

00:52:23   would be talking about butt sex but also [TS]

00:52:31   call that taking the road to Damascus em [TS]

00:52:33   then they call it they call it a free [TS]

00:52:36   brabus basket so much shit goes down [TS]

00:52:40   there the selonians that's what you [TS]

00:52:46   that's not a place but go on and we [TS]

00:52:50   decided one what is the deal with that [TS]

00:52:52   yeah I purpose that you know this light [TS]

00:52:55   under a bushel basket and I've never [TS]

00:52:56   understood like what [TS]

00:52:58   yeah I need to be like if you have a if [TS]

00:53:01   you have a if your skill or a gift if [TS]

00:53:04   God has given you a gift it's your [TS]

00:53:06   obligation to share with the world much [TS]

00:53:08   like you have no right but you don't [TS]

00:53:11   even own a bishop bushel basket [TS]

00:53:12   I you know I have a collection of bushel [TS]

00:53:15   basket but I i I don't I don't I don't [TS]

00:53:20   talk about it a lot of money there's a [TS]

00:53:22   lot i was at trader joe's today I'd or [TS]

00:53:26   drew listen I do have a collection of [TS]

00:53:29   vintage trader joes bags and then I saw [TS]

00:53:32   the other night I ran into a friend of [TS]

00:53:34   mine there who used to be [TS]

00:53:35   Nirvana's front-of-house guy back in the [TS]

00:53:38   old days [TS]

00:53:39   great sound man [TS]

00:53:41   and he also had an amazing collection of [TS]

00:53:44   trader joes bags did you guys trade [TS]

00:53:48   going all the way back and use trades [TS]

00:53:50   like we like baseball cards you get a [TS]

00:53:51   roberto clemente for Steve Garvey or [TS]

00:53:53   something when I had a couple of them in [TS]

00:53:55   their original packaging it never been [TS]

00:53:56   used i just take a minute out of the [TS]

00:53:58   store let me mention that it's in bag [TS]

00:54:00   handbag a so so that was you know that [TS]

00:54:05   was a moment but yet it is it a small [TS]

00:54:08   I'm so good [TS]

00:54:09   no no I was just I was just going to say [TS]

00:54:10   that like so many things i have only [TS]

00:54:14   read the Bible once and it was a long [TS]

00:54:16   time ago and I don't remember it [TS]

00:54:17   that's okay um there's a lot of [TS]

00:54:20   anecdotes to come up from the Bible that [TS]

00:54:22   are that are kind of get to know but [TS]

00:54:23   it's um yeah it's hard with my wife [TS]

00:54:26   because she's a heathen oh right yeah [TS]

00:54:29   she doesn't have she doesn't have I [TS]

00:54:31   don't go too deep on this but you know [TS]

00:54:32   she and well first of all let me just [TS]

00:54:35   let me just say that the problem is that [TS]

00:54:37   people talk about reading the Bible and [TS]

00:54:39   learned as a child that my grandfather [TS]

00:54:41   had actually read the Bible he spent a [TS]

00:54:43   few weeks and he read it all the way [TS]

00:54:44   through and this is back when Christians [TS]

00:54:46   normal was like when questions and [TS]

00:54:47   Republicans mates made sense and so he's [TS]

00:54:50   a pretty normal guy is a cpa and you [TS]

00:54:52   know a gentleman he garden and and but [TS]

00:54:54   he'd read the Bible but the thing is [TS]

00:54:55   like if you're from the group kind of [TS]

00:54:57   group that i'm from which is a lot of [TS]

00:54:59   people in Christianity you're reading [TS]

00:55:01   little bits of the Bible a lot as part [TS]

00:55:03   of like a like a Marvel story arc like [TS]

00:55:05   you're reading thematically especially [TS]

00:55:07   as a kid you're memorizing some verses [TS]

00:55:09   you're reading some chapters you're [TS]

00:55:10   studying things right you might learn [TS]

00:55:12   about you know the nature of faith or [TS]

00:55:14   something like I don't know that many [TS]

00:55:16   people who have actually who haven't [TS]

00:55:18   been in the racket for a long time that [TS]

00:55:19   have read it all the way through and you [TS]

00:55:21   do you read it all the way through [TS]

00:55:22   there's just so much stuff in that's [TS]

00:55:24   capable well-adjusted young Testament [TS]

00:55:26   you can just gloss over [TS]

00:55:28   I don't want to read the letters to the [TS]

00:55:30   Corinthians I don't want to read the [TS]

00:55:32   letters to the Thessalonians is Alana [TS]

00:55:34   cans because reading other people's mail [TS]

00:55:37   is wrong [TS]

00:55:38   nice guy John it's a federal crime and [TS]

00:55:45   people all these years have been reading [TS]

00:55:47   all these letters that were all these [TS]

00:55:50   different i'm literally i'm going to [TS]

00:55:52   save them literally going to cut that [TS]

00:55:53   out [TS]

00:55:53   haha letter to the Romans mail fraud bak [TS]

00:55:58   oh brother you know that women are you [TS]

00:56:02   cutting it out because it cheesy know [TS]

00:56:05   it's nuanced it's nuanced anyway there [TS]

00:56:09   might be a revenue opportunity here [TS]

00:56:10   because but here's the problem most of [TS]

00:56:12   the people who bring people in [TS]

00:56:13   I gotta don't want to start an ass but [TS]

00:56:15   this is what what you're describing and [TS]

00:56:17   what I have encountered in the past is [TS]

00:56:20   what they really want is to talk to you [TS]

00:56:22   into being on their side about something [TS]

00:56:25   that's kind of silly right [TS]

00:56:27   they want you to do about it they want [TS]

00:56:29   you to link to them and they and they [TS]

00:56:30   want you to basically stand up there on [TS]

00:56:32   the dais with wearing a carnation with [TS]

00:56:34   your arm around them and saying I pass [TS]

00:56:36   my wifeys my benediction onto this [TS]

00:56:39   project and like but I'm only passing my [TS]

00:56:42   plantation on to your project [TS]

00:56:44   well here's the key here is my question [TS]

00:56:45   to you and this is a question that we [TS]

00:56:47   all we all need answers 24 is I know [TS]

00:56:54   there are people out there who are [TS]

00:56:56   making the thing and they want me to do [TS]

00:56:58   something for them and they have X [TS]

00:57:01   number of dollars and there the first [TS]

00:57:05   thing they do is ask me to do it for [TS]

00:57:06   free and most of the time I said yes [TS]

00:57:10   my question to you is how do I retro [TS]

00:57:14   actively go back and kill those people [TS]

00:57:17   oh that's a really take their money [TS]

00:57:20   well maybe happy to just that there's a [TS]

00:57:21   lot of angles to that [TS]

00:57:23   well first of all depends on which of [TS]

00:57:25   the team major kinds of time-travel [TS]

00:57:26   timelines you believe in EM we don't [TS]

00:57:29   have time to go into that in a lot of [TS]

00:57:30   detail right now right [TS]

00:57:32   but one thing i would do is we have a [TS]

00:57:35   kind of a tacit agreement to not talk [TS]

00:57:36   about time travel anymore and I'm very [TS]

00:57:38   tempted to sometimes but i'm setting [TS]

00:57:41   that funny movie aside like a good movie [TS]

00:57:43   like I honestly don't want to talk about [TS]

00:57:44   time travel because it does and and i [TS]

00:57:46   have to tell you John a lot of the [TS]

00:57:48   literature that i'm reviewing these days [TS]

00:57:49   by which i mean all the comic books [TS]

00:57:50   every there there is a lot of time [TS]

00:57:52   travel and it's sometimes a little hard [TS]

00:57:54   to follow what if would have you the [TS]

00:57:57   what what if the universe was designed [TS]

00:58:01   to avoid over paradox [TS]

00:58:04   and the only way time-travel Israel but [TS]

00:58:09   the only way that you can time travel is [TS]

00:58:12   that you go back [TS]

00:58:14   it's always in reverse and you always go [TS]

00:58:17   back to one month before you were born [TS]

00:58:18   and you always die on the day that you [TS]

00:58:22   are born would you go to digg it can go [TS]

00:58:34   see this is exactly what i was trying to [TS]

00:58:37   know I start lining up the ambience [TS]

00:58:43   ah ok where's my orange juice [TS]

00:58:48   there's an adventure time comic that i'm [TS]

00:58:50   going to buy and send to you you should [TS]

00:58:52   be watching adventure time anyway that [TS]

00:58:53   addresses this is the time machine that [TS]

00:58:55   always takes you back to this exact same [TS]

00:58:56   moment and it's used to communicate [TS]

00:58:58   effect but not going to cut to the chase [TS]

00:58:59   because I know your time constraint and [TS]

00:59:02   we're so one of those places i would [TS]

00:59:04   start with one of the ones that was [TS]

00:59:06   particularly egregious about agreeing to [TS]

00:59:10   letting you work for free that they [TS]

00:59:12   didn't even like make a big like that [TS]

00:59:14   impact for their wallet you know like i [TS]

00:59:16   do and i would go there i would [TS]

00:59:18   literally you should you should take off [TS]

00:59:19   your clothes pick up a garbage can throw [TS]

00:59:22   it through the window i set the place on [TS]

00:59:24   fire and say and then the next day go to [TS]

00:59:28   sell and say where's my pay but that [TS]

00:59:33   wasn't my movie had three endings it was [TS]

00:59:34   very frustrating to me i am really i am [TS]

00:59:37   really on the I feel like I'm on the [TS]

00:59:38   threshold now [TS]

00:59:40   yeah I'm on customer career-wise I got [TS]

00:59:43   that from that interview I didn't know [TS]

00:59:45   about your keynoting I'm doing all this [TS]

00:59:47   isn't that up on urban dictionary by the [TS]

00:59:48   way keynote is another kind of thing is [TS]

00:59:51   like saloniki yeah it's different from [TS]

00:59:53   Keystone don't like that's like the road [TS]

00:59:55   to Damascus yeah it's like it's like [TS]

00:59:56   watching a Pennsylvania the Keystone [TS]

00:59:57   keynote 1500 Keystone [TS]

00:59:57   keynote 1500 Keystone [TS]

01:00:00   yeah ok keystone and that you have a bit [TS]

01:00:02   like seriously I you you're getting more [TS]

01:00:03   offers from people to come and speak [TS]

01:00:05   somewhere or two to present its curious [TS]

01:00:08   because i always thought the the [TS]

01:00:10   challenge 10 years ago was a in Seattle [TS]

01:00:14   there are lots and lots of local bands [TS]

01:00:18   and then there are Seattle bands that [TS]

01:00:20   become national bands and there's this [TS]

01:00:24   there's this booking hierarchy or like a [TS]

01:00:27   local pedigree where if you're if if [TS]

01:00:31   they do it if they do a a piece on you [TS]

01:00:34   on them the local morning news the [TS]

01:00:36   morning news is always going to say [TS]

01:00:37   local band X you know local band band of [TS]

01:00:42   horses played a big show last night you [TS]

01:00:45   know like those guys don't they don't [TS]

01:00:46   understand but as that guy worked there [TS]

01:00:50   for a really long time that particular a [TS]

01:00:53   little man pain of forces although all [TS]

01:00:56   local band the fleet foxes really doing [TS]

01:00:59   amazing things these killers aren't real [TS]

01:01:02   killers although they do kill it rock [TS]

01:01:04   music only rock music I'm into is my [TS]

01:01:11   rocking chair [TS]

01:01:12   don't call the fire department it's just [TS]

01:01:15   an arcade fire so anyway 10 years ago 15 [TS]

01:01:20   years ago the last thing the long [TS]

01:01:22   winters wanted to be was a local band [TS]

01:01:25   because that guy the guy on the morning [TS]

01:01:27   news he's never gonna get it but the but [TS]

01:01:28   the Booker's and the the people that do [TS]

01:01:31   that you know like sasquatch festival is [TS]

01:01:34   a national festival but it also features [TS]

01:01:37   a lot of local bands and you want to get [TS]

01:01:40   banned to be a net you want your band to [TS]

01:01:42   be from seattle but to be a national [TS]

01:01:44   band and not be because the local bands [TS]

01:01:48   get 500 bucks the National bands given [TS]

01:01:50   all that's super interesting like your [TS]

01:01:52   you would be on same interview but like [TS]

01:01:53   you don't think you might be like a [TS]

01:01:54   second stage like a Lollapalooza like [TS]

01:01:57   year over in the back kind of thing you [TS]

01:01:59   want to be so you want it you at the [TS]

01:02:01   hometown team though where you want to [TS]

01:02:03   be big enough that we'll of course we're [TS]

01:02:06   going to have Seattle's long winters [TS]

01:02:07   play because they have a national [TS]

01:02:08   presence with the idiotic you wanna be [TS]

01:02:10   at that play at that level right [TS]

01:02:12   right right exactly and the end up that [TS]

01:02:14   thing about it is that if you are a you [TS]

01:02:16   know fewer if you are a festival [TS]

01:02:18   headliner of course there's no there's [TS]

01:02:21   no question about it but a band like the [TS]

01:02:22   long winters which is in the middle of [TS]

01:02:24   the pack somewhere where you feel like [TS]

01:02:27   okay we are getting invited to play [TS]

01:02:30   festivals other places so we are you [TS]

01:02:35   know we are at the level of certainly [TS]

01:02:38   national and international band but [TS]

01:02:41   there are all those people around [TS]

01:02:42   Seattle have known as since we were [TS]

01:02:44   coming up who still want to every once [TS]

01:02:47   in a while like throw a little bit of [TS]

01:02:50   local band shade your direction as [TS]

01:02:54   either like a like a like a kick in the [TS]

01:02:57   knee or also as a like cost-saving [TS]

01:03:02   method like oh yeah you know you guys [TS]

01:03:04   are pretty big local band like well will [TS]

01:03:08   smooth the musical equivalent of filling [TS]

01:03:10   up on bread right it's like and now I [TS]

01:03:14   mean like the state's going to come the [TS]

01:03:16   freshman college of lift on a bunch of [TS]

01:03:17   this hour doubt [TS]

01:03:18   yeah slow your roll there with this [TS]

01:03:20   local band talk is what I was used to [TS]

01:03:21   say and over time you know I i [TS]

01:03:25   established myself as a a and and [TS]

01:03:28   continue to to aspire to establish [TS]

01:03:30   myself as a national figure of national [TS]

01:03:33   media figure well so recently the city [TS]

01:03:36   of seattle has started throwing all this [TS]

01:03:38   Seattle action at me who the mayor's [TS]

01:03:43   office asked me to be on the steering [TS]

01:03:45   committee for the mayor and the and the [TS]

01:03:49   you know the weekly is like wants me to [TS]

01:03:52   be a kind of editor-at-large in them the [TS]

01:03:55   local radio stations asking me lo look [TS]

01:03:59   you know kind of give us any feelers i'm [TS]

01:04:01   getting all these feelers from all these [TS]

01:04:03   from all these Northwest institutions [TS]

01:04:06   that on the one hand it feels very [TS]

01:04:09   appropriate a man my age with as much [TS]

01:04:12   gray in his beard as i have should start [TS]

01:04:16   to think about you know and it's and [TS]

01:04:19   it's appropriate like intern in terms my [TS]

01:04:22   father would understand like I could [TS]

01:04:25   become a [TS]

01:04:25   of Seattle personnage you're like a [TS]

01:04:29   rockstar emeritus yeah in a way that the [TS]

01:04:32   in a way that i already am in a way that [TS]

01:04:34   I've been kind of trying to be but now [TS]

01:04:37   I'm starting to see like every one of [TS]

01:04:39   those positions every one of those [TS]

01:04:42   Commission's if you will is a commission [TS]

01:04:47   in a kind of local militia and they and [TS]

01:04:52   it's all in all I its it feels like at [TS]

01:04:57   the expense of anyone in New York or [TS]

01:05:02   Hollywood or London giving a shit about [TS]

01:05:05   me you know like at a certain point when [TS]

01:05:07   you are the one you are the editor of [TS]

01:05:10   the Seattle you know the Seattle capitol [TS]

01:05:16   hill times and dispatch you're no longer [TS]

01:05:20   you hear you know you're no longer [TS]

01:05:22   relevant to the village voice editor [TS]

01:05:25   even though it's a people know it's a [TS]

01:05:28   prominent position even though it's a [TS]

01:05:30   step up from like being just a freelance [TS]

01:05:31   jackass [TS]

01:05:33   so this regional this creeping kind of [TS]

01:05:36   regional status imac I actually feel [TS]

01:05:41   kind of well and certainly ambivalent [TS]

01:05:44   about but also a little threatened by [TS]

01:05:45   because it's appealing you know it's [TS]

01:05:47   like oh yeah [TS]

01:05:48   the mayor wants me to do something are [TS]

01:05:50   nice somebody and I special it's like [TS]

01:05:53   well yeah but also like are you are you [TS]

01:06:00   going to become a like a local real [TS]

01:06:03   estate agent like are you gonna get a [TS]

01:06:05   Pontiac dealership here somewhere and [TS]

01:06:07   just be like Seattle's the guy that [TS]

01:06:11   hosts the morning news program basically [TS]

01:06:12   local celeb so is it a matter of that [TS]

01:06:16   there's a risk of associating yourself [TS]

01:06:18   too heavily with our regional thing or [TS]

01:06:22   you're talking about i'm not sure I I [TS]

01:06:25   feel like I feel like the two maybe it [TS]

01:06:28   is the two paths of Fame [TS]

01:06:30   and one path of fame is a rib is a [TS]

01:06:34   regional fame is a Tombo Tombo day is [TS]

01:06:37   going to leave the light on for you [TS]

01:06:38   tombeau de was a was a writer that mean [TS]

01:06:42   I'm sorry tombeau de is a writer a humor [TS]

01:06:44   writer from Alaska and he wrote a series [TS]

01:06:47   of kind of Dave Barry style books about [TS]

01:06:51   kind of homespun humor about like the [TS]

01:06:54   biggest salmon you ever saw and what [TS]

01:06:59   happens when you run out of lamb fuel [TS]

01:07:01   and and that's like Garrison Keillor's [TS]

01:07:06   reject its but that's the thing in [TS]

01:07:10   Alaska you call this soup that genital [TS]

01:07:13   area you know like well then there was [TS]

01:07:16   the year they had the outhouse races and [TS]

01:07:18   jenny has its trip you know and and in [TS]

01:07:22   Alaska he was like an easy [TS]

01:07:24   he's abused big wheel and then he [TS]

01:07:27   parlayed that into the national campaign [TS]

01:07:30   for super 8 was that Motel 760 6 16 [TS]

01:07:37   candles and i think it is yet now let's [TS]

01:07:40   look at it until six [TS]

01:07:41   speaking of sixteen Candles Molly [TS]

01:07:42   Ringwald is playing tonight in Seattle [TS]

01:07:45   with her jazz combo shipshape shape lai [TS]

01:07:48   Shi are you [TS]

01:07:51   yeah yeah sorry that was my forehead [TS]

01:07:55   that's my percussion instrument unlike [TS]

01:07:57   the max roach of what the fuck [TS]

01:07:59   ok she whored if you leave so what this [TS]

01:08:03   sheep [TS]

01:08:04   no I mean she's horny does she do like I [TS]

01:08:06   could see her I can see you're doing out [TS]

01:08:07   two sacks [TS]

01:08:08   no I she plays piano I don't think she [TS]

01:08:10   does anything I think she stands in [TS]

01:08:12   France she's come back she's she stormed [TS]

01:08:16   the beaches she came back to America [TS]

01:08:17   like our lives [TS]

01:08:19   yeah and she I think she stands in front [TS]

01:08:21   of a jazz combo wearing a chanteuse [TS]

01:08:25   dress [TS]

01:08:26   hmm maybe with a Chinese collar maybe a [TS]

01:08:28   slit up the side food and she sings [TS]

01:08:31   Eartha Kitt music with no balls [TS]

01:08:37   well that's my guess sounds execrable I [TS]

01:08:40   you know I follow her on Twitter and the [TS]

01:08:42   only reason I flavors [TS]

01:08:44   as I keep well when she first showed up [TS]

01:08:46   but she ever mention the question first [TS]

01:08:49   heard about Twitter and she had like [TS]

01:08:50   fifteen hundred followers i was so [TS]

01:08:52   excited I'm like I'm one more you got in [TS]

01:08:55   the the ground floor bring along like [TS]

01:08:57   I'm right there Molly and I sent her a [TS]

01:08:59   couple of replies like where she would [TS]

01:09:01   say oh my god you guys this is so [TS]

01:09:04   amazing and I'd be like yeah welcome [TS]

01:09:07   Molly Ringwald office yeah welcome to [TS]

01:09:09   twitter it's super fun year law and she [TS]

01:09:15   never replied happen and I was and so at [TS]

01:09:20   her it doesn't hurt now I know what it [TS]

01:09:21   feels like now that you never do [TS]

01:09:23   now i know i follow all these comic guys [TS]

01:09:25   and they won't have anything to do with [TS]

01:09:26   me I i got that 10 times more followers [TS]

01:09:29   and they do they will not have anything [TS]

01:09:30   to do with me and it breaks my heart [TS]

01:09:32   that one didn't I want to be in their [TS]

01:09:34   circles it did me too i followed I [TS]

01:09:36   followed Jane Wiedlin for a while haha [TS]

01:09:40   man i followed her and I get and I kept [TS]

01:09:42   doing it I could play like totally oh my [TS]

01:09:45   god you're so light model if the kind of [TS]

01:09:48   thing that you personally scroll past [TS]

01:09:51   thousand times a day awful roffle rocket [TS]

01:09:53   smiley faces on cog and never got [TS]

01:09:56   anything back from her and then I really [TS]

01:09:58   like we've got the meat [TS]

01:10:00   yeah yeah but anyway shaded mode yeah [TS]

01:10:03   well so am I so I kept boner and I and I [TS]

01:10:06   had I had to I had to go through that [TS]

01:10:08   whole period we're like don't reply just [TS]

01:10:10   don't reply to work there should be a [TS]

01:10:12   name for that there's a period where you [TS]

01:10:13   started interviewing like that you [TS]

01:10:15   jumped in right you got the ground floor [TS]

01:10:17   you may be laid back just a little bit [TS]

01:10:19   you wait for your pitch [TS]

01:10:20   we jumped in nothing ok so you hang back [TS]

01:10:24   a little bit you try again right now [TS]

01:10:27   you're not made a fucking stone maybe [TS]

01:10:29   after a week or so you get one more [TS]

01:10:31   really good one in there nothing and [TS]

01:10:34   then there should be a name for that [TS]

01:10:35   period where you going mi just a putz [TS]

01:10:37   what what am i doing [TS]

01:10:38   sucks to be me sucks to be me i am [TS]

01:10:41   basically a receptacle for PR for like [TS]

01:10:43   for immediate release [TS]

01:10:45   nobody fucking cares John well so anyway [TS]

01:10:48   I stick around because molly ringwald is [TS]

01:10:51   constantly tweeting photographs of [TS]

01:10:54   herself but she's always like it's [TS]

01:10:56   photographed her [TS]

01:10:57   assistant took on her phone from her [TS]

01:11:01   standing in front of a venue or [TS]

01:11:03   something or a picture you know picture [TS]

01:11:05   like look at this she says ! and then my [TS]

01:11:09   sister she has a phone to her assistance [TS]

01:11:10   that take a picture of me in front of [TS]

01:11:12   this venue i think so i think that's [TS]

01:11:14   what happens but also she she does her [TS]

01:11:15   own pics and she's like look at this and [TS]

01:11:17   then and you click on it like what is it [TS]

01:11:19   gonna be and it's a picture of a bunch [TS]

01:11:21   of rutabagas yeah and so she's one of [TS]

01:11:23   those people but i keep every time I [TS]

01:11:26   click on one of these pictures I think [TS]

01:11:27   tonight's the night that she's had three [TS]

01:11:29   glasses side bridge and she's taking a [TS]

01:11:32   picture of herself in the bathroom [TS]

01:11:33   getting sideboob now she's dead she's in [TS]

01:11:36   a towel and she's like look at this and [TS]

01:11:39   it's like and this is gonna be the [TS]

01:11:41   selfie I've been waiting for and so I [TS]

01:11:43   keep I keep clicking on these pictures [TS]

01:11:45   of Luther burgers and pictures of little [TS]

01:11:47   dogs and you know pictures of her shoes [TS]

01:11:50   on the train and all the stuff because [TS]

01:11:52   I'm just dying for that one night when [TS]

01:11:55   she will delete it immediately like I [TS]

01:11:56   have to be vigilant [TS]

01:11:58   oh no totally but one night she's gonna [TS]

01:12:00   hit this she's going to just be standing [TS]

01:12:02   in front of mirror and she'd be like I'm [TS]

01:12:03   gonna get my money you know what I mean [TS]

01:12:04   she's three glasses of wine [TS]

01:12:06   she said she had inadvisable third [TS]

01:12:09   Goblet of chardonnay and just for fun [TS]

01:12:12   she takes she takes a shot it was framed [TS]

01:12:15   a little poorly something the light [TS]

01:12:17   catches it wrong and suddenly jon jon is [TS]

01:12:20   in Thessalonians big time [TS]

01:12:22   that's right boom Oh command look at [TS]

01:12:24   these rude but i wish i was completely [TS]

01:12:26   alien to that idea i I've done the same [TS]

01:12:29   thing [TS]

01:12:29   it's terrible and I mean really Molly [TS]

01:12:31   Ringwald i can think of like three [TS]

01:12:34   people that I that I am that I would [TS]

01:12:37   even three people two of whom are on [TS]

01:12:39   Twitter Molly Ringwald's the only one [TS]

01:12:40   I'm currently like just clicking on [TS]

01:12:43   ahead free really hoping against hope [TS]

01:12:47   knowing it's never going to happen [TS]

01:12:48   knowing she's a mother of two [TS]

01:12:49   yeah that lesser hoping against hope [TS]

01:12:51   that one day she's just gonna be drunk [TS]

01:12:54   in a hotel bathroom and say it is said [TS]

01:12:57   that picture to the world [TS]

01:13:00   of my booty send huh i'm gonna be there [TS]

01:13:06   like Snoopy perched in a tree as a as a [TS]

01:13:11   4-1 flying itself when Snoopy would be a [TS]

01:13:16   vulture and purchase you're ready I am [TS]

01:13:21   you made a right click like click boom [TS]

01:13:23   boom saved saved huh [TS]

01:13:28   I think I think I think you are onto [TS]

01:13:34   something and I think you've got a [TS]

01:13:35   problem that a lot of us have and and I [TS]

01:13:37   have to say I think you're facing [TS]

01:13:39   something that you have much more [TS]

01:13:41   certainty about five years ago which is [TS]

01:13:44   where somebody's coming up to you and [TS]

01:13:46   they're not offering to have a grown-up [TS]

01:13:50   business transaction with you like a [TS]

01:13:52   grown-up business transactions when you [TS]

01:13:55   go to someone and say I would like a big [TS]

01:13:58   mac and i have four dollars will that [TS]

01:13:59   work out instead of going in and asking [TS]

01:14:02   if if you have three hours for a meeting [TS]

01:14:05   to talk about this initiative that we [TS]

01:14:08   have about is food related properties [TS]

01:14:10   this is the problem that we have a big [TS]

01:14:12   mac is clearly worth two people for [TS]

01:14:15   dollars i guess i have a Big Mac in [TS]

01:14:17   years but it is unclear people what I am [TS]

01:14:21   worth and the scale of what I'm [TS]

01:14:23   potentially worth is it goes from [TS]

01:14:26   $50,000 to zero dollars [TS]

01:14:29   oh I can't use your instincts tell you [TS]

01:14:33   how much I understand exactly what [TS]

01:14:35   you're saying yeah you don't Charlie [TS]

01:14:37   gasps don't you partly guess based on [TS]

01:14:38   like what their budget is and what you [TS]

01:14:41   know what they think it's worth so this [TS]

01:14:44   guy writes me a letter today i've been [TS]

01:14:46   offered the job co-producing the debut [TS]

01:14:50   album of a girl who contributed to a hit [TS]

01:14:54   single that went that went big [TS]

01:14:57   so this girl is coming and I need a [TS]

01:15:00   diagram for that so there's a little [TS]

01:15:02   help reduce ok hit single that made it [TS]

01:15:05   that that that that made a million that [TS]

01:15:06   sold a million copies this girl [TS]

01:15:08   contributed a portion of the of the hook [TS]

01:15:11   now she's making her own album and she [TS]

01:15:14   wants me to produce it but she also [TS]

01:15:18   wants this other guy who actually owns a [TS]

01:15:21   studio and understands engineering to [TS]

01:15:24   also produce it because I think he's [TS]

01:15:27   gonna let her use the studio for free [TS]

01:15:29   how much let us use the studio for free [TS]

01:15:32   and so her manager writes me and says [TS]

01:15:36   how much we're not going to pay you guys [TS]

01:15:38   anything [TS]

01:15:39   how many percentage points do you want [TS]

01:15:44   on the final recording and I go now I've [TS]

01:15:53   been managing myself in my own career [TS]

01:15:55   for my entire career and this is the [TS]

01:15:59   type of question that comes up a lot but [TS]

01:16:02   here we have a situation where they're [TS]

01:16:04   not giving me anything [TS]

01:16:05   it is possible that this that this [TS]

01:16:09   single in this record will do what most [TS]

01:16:11   things do and just go away but because [TS]

01:16:14   of this connection to this big hit [TS]

01:16:17   single [TS]

01:16:18   there is also the possibility that this [TS]

01:16:19   will generate some amount of money and [TS]

01:16:21   that my percentage of it is not [TS]

01:16:23   insignificant but huh [TS]

01:16:26   but there's this other guy who's soon [TS]

01:16:30   supposedly co-producing it with me so I [TS]

01:16:33   wrote the manager back and I was like [TS]

01:16:35   what are you giving the other guy and he [TS]

01:16:38   writes back and says what we're trying [TS]

01:16:39   to figure that out right now [TS]

01:16:41   oh and its head up when you figure it [TS]

01:16:46   out let me know right that I haven't [TS]

01:16:49   heard back but welcome to welcome to [TS]

01:16:53   club dick can't keep a Gib you know [TS]

01:16:56   running my business that way for the [TS]

01:16:58   rest of your life time for a really dude [TS]

01:17:00   for a long time [TS]

01:17:01   9i particularly i'm very grateful people [TS]

01:17:04   have any interest in anything that I do [TS]

01:17:06   have you said that I'm not gotten a lot [TS]

01:17:09   of speaking offers that basically come [TS]

01:17:12   down to like [TS]

01:17:13   like will fly you out here because we [TS]

01:17:16   only need a 20-minute talk so we're [TS]

01:17:18   going to what we know India 20-minute [TS]

01:17:20   talk you coming out here and speak at [TS]

01:17:22   the fred X and adherent tipsy and as you [TS]

01:17:25   know the Fred conference is very popular [TS]

01:17:27   so the fedex things growing franchise [TS]

01:17:29   that's what a lot of exposure lot of it [TS]

01:17:31   well [TS]

01:17:31   yep get that the asp ala community [TS]

01:17:34   benefit but but I mean and they'll say [TS]

01:17:38   like you know and i'll say well okay i [TS]

01:17:41   finally got to a point where i would I [TS]

01:17:42   got a little more okay with saying well [TS]

01:17:44   new projects that involve out of town [TS]

01:17:47   out of the area travel started this [TS]

01:17:49   amount is that your budget and your [TS]

01:17:51   ballpark let's talk and there that there [TS]

01:17:55   if they had more monocles they would [TS]

01:17:57   fall out of their Island out of the pond [TS]

01:17:59   sundays are there are shattering Oh Baba [TS]

01:18:01   have you not heard of red X have you not [TS]

01:18:05   heard of rent you know like the thing is [TS]

01:18:08   you want a 20-minute talk but for me to [TS]

01:18:10   go there and do that is three days of my [TS]

01:18:12   time i'm not exaggerating cuz i have to [TS]

01:18:14   fly there i have to be there for a day [TS]

01:18:15   doesn't matter if you win 20 minutes 40 [TS]

01:18:16   minutes or nine hours that's still a day [TS]

01:18:18   and then I gotta come home and stuff [TS]

01:18:21   like that and I and I finally stopped [TS]

01:18:24   driving myself crazy with that if my [TS]

01:18:27   grandfather is an indication you don't [TS]

01:18:28   have to go home but you take a business [TS]

01:18:32   trip and you don't come back [TS]

01:18:33   just keep going is that right go on for [TS]

01:18:36   cigarettes and thank you write that down [TS]

01:18:38   at certain points when I had a little [TS]

01:18:41   extra minute or two and fairly provoking [TS]

01:18:43   the person which I almost always do [TS]

01:18:45   yes I what's riiiight look gimme it [TS]

01:18:47   gimme a quick estimate on and uh would [TS]

01:18:51   you be able to fly out here for 20 [TS]

01:18:53   minutes [TS]

01:18:54   go ahead and buy the air airline ticket [TS]

01:18:56   and we'll see based on ticket sales for [TS]

01:18:59   20 minute talk like how it turns out [TS]

01:19:01   because it's great exposure and I think [TS]

01:19:04   that's basically what these people are [TS]

01:19:05   saying to you if work is valuable [TS]

01:19:09   I've had this happen also when stuff [TS]

01:19:10   that I've done has appeared in different [TS]

01:19:12   places i'm going to call it stealing [TS]

01:19:13   but when stuff that I've done has [TS]

01:19:14   appeared in different place when it's on [TS]

01:19:15   a t-shirt or in a book or whatever on [TS]

01:19:17   somebody's RSS feed and my feeling is [TS]

01:19:19   like you know if you just want to steal [TS]

01:19:22   it like steal it but don't expect me to [TS]

01:19:24   be [TS]

01:19:25   like on your side about it and don't [TS]

01:19:26   expect me to promote the thing that you [TS]

01:19:28   took like I'll be fine i got plenty more [TS]

01:19:30   ideas i'm not worried about that the [TS]

01:19:32   part that galls me is the part where [TS]

01:19:34   like they want me to now promote the [TS]

01:19:36   thing that they are not really paying [TS]

01:19:38   for so it's just a never retweet my [TS]

01:19:40   tumblr i should know what i should do i [TS]

01:19:42   I should facebook or myspace a lot more [TS]

01:19:44   often [TS]

01:19:45   I'm trying to say is if it's something [TS]

01:19:46   is worth money or something is something [TS]

01:19:48   is valuable [TS]

01:19:50   it's worth even if it's not worth paying [TS]

01:19:51   for it's definitely worth negotiating [TS]

01:19:54   and it shows a ridiculous [TS]

01:19:56   I'm sorry to have gone through all that [TS]

01:19:57   to get this one very simple point but it [TS]

01:19:59   was extremely bad faith to be an adult [TS]

01:20:02   he talks to another and another adult as [TS]

01:20:06   though they don't work for a living [TS]

01:20:07   it's really it's really disrespectful [TS]

01:20:08   and anyone who does that should be [TS]

01:20:11   punched in the nose because it's a [TS]

01:20:13   really crummy thing to do and then to [TS]

01:20:15   frame it in a way we're not like you're [TS]

01:20:16   the asshole because you want help this [TS]

01:20:18   up-and-coming star you know well how [TS]

01:20:20   about this how about you pay me like [TS]

01:20:22   what people get paid to co-produce a [TS]

01:20:24   record you keep your points and how [TS]

01:20:27   about you pay me and if there's another [TS]

01:20:28   one of those you like my work I like how [TS]

01:20:30   it turned out how we talk about points [TS]

01:20:31   after that [TS]

01:20:32   how about you first pay me like a [TS]

01:20:33   gentleman from my work and and maybe not [TS]

01:20:36   even worried about the name of that [TS]

01:20:37   person because the thing is now you're [TS]

01:20:40   basically buying stock you're buying [TS]

01:20:43   your time is it is basically the [TS]

01:20:45   purchase of stock you have bought stock [TS]

01:20:47   in this person who contribute a hook to [TS]

01:20:49   a song right and I think you're worth [TS]

01:20:53   more than that it's good exposure is [TS]

01:20:59   really good exposure and the thing is [TS]

01:21:00   that that thought the entire music [TS]

01:21:05   business and in fact the entire [TS]

01:21:06   entertainment business is predicated on [TS]

01:21:09   the fact that eighty-five percent of the [TS]

01:21:11   people have no self-esteem at all and [TS]

01:21:15   the fifteen percent of the people who [TS]

01:21:17   have what appears to be a self esteem i [TS]

01:21:20   have no self-esteem either they're just [TS]

01:21:21   they're they're just bullies trying to [TS]

01:21:24   try to kind of manufacture self-esteem [TS]

01:21:28   by pushing people around [TS]

01:21:30   so all of us you know we're all just [TS]

01:21:32   like twisting in the wind here going to [TS]

01:21:36   somebody called [TS]

01:21:38   some somebody return my boob [TS]

01:21:41   yeah there's certainly days where it [TS]

01:21:42   feels like that and and you're sitting [TS]

01:21:44   around maybe someday you get five loops [TS]

01:21:46   and start raising your prices and then [TS]

01:21:48   maybe it's been awhile since you've got [TS]

01:21:49   a bloop and you go with sure I'll clean [TS]

01:21:50   up after the mayor like you get a sash [TS]

01:21:52   five loops [TS]

01:21:55   yeah yeah well all the things that i [TS]

01:22:00   have agreed to do this year all the [TS]

01:22:02   keynote speeches all the appearances [TS]

01:22:05   public appearances that I have done so [TS]

01:22:08   far this year and we're talking about [TS]

01:22:09   what is it now it's tax day it's April [TS]

01:22:12   15 what let's see what I've been paid [TS]

01:22:18   all don't say I've been paid for two [TS]

01:22:21   things [TS]

01:22:22   ok I've been paid twice this year so far [TS]

01:22:26   and i have done 1,000 things right so [TS]

01:22:32   well-prepared everybody you know all the [TS]

01:22:36   young people they see me and they're [TS]

01:22:37   like that guy eats gold nuggets that guy [TS]

01:22:41   just sits around and he just pooped [TS]

01:22:43   money [TS]

01:22:44   well you know I i have a lot to say [TS]

01:22:47   about this that would not be interesting [TS]

01:22:49   to our audience but but I will say this [TS]

01:22:50   you should have your mom not in that way [TS]

01:22:53   but you should have your mom speak on [TS]

01:22:55   your behalf i hate having to try to [TS]

01:22:58   explain to people why what I do is [TS]

01:22:59   valuable because i think it's it's not a [TS]

01:23:02   chorus i think it is I think it's ugly [TS]

01:23:05   to sit around and argue with people [TS]

01:23:07   about whether what you do is valuable [TS]

01:23:08   but if you have somebody like Marcia [TS]

01:23:10   getting in front of that I think you get [TS]

01:23:12   a lot accomplished i think you tell your [TS]

01:23:13   mom here's what i want for a day's work [TS]

01:23:15   going for a keno so my mom says too many [TS]

01:23:18   other day she says i'm 78 and I'm caring [TS]

01:23:24   for your daughter half the day I don't [TS]

01:23:28   want to be your business manager anymore [TS]

01:23:30   oh no and I said what can you drop the [TS]

01:23:33   kid part [TS]

01:23:35   yeah well what if what if we put the kid [TS]

01:23:37   in a refrigerator box and give her a [TS]

01:23:39   ball [TS]

01:23:41   it sure is fine and she was like now I'm [TS]

01:23:46   done 10 find your own business manager [TS]

01:23:49   John our audience may not know but is it [TS]

01:23:51   m is it and wanted me to disclosing that [TS]

01:23:54   like is enough here to save your mom's a [TS]

01:23:55   pretty important role in a lot of [TS]

01:23:58   anything that turned out well you better [TS]

01:24:01   roll it [TS]

01:24:02   let me put it this way she'll actually [TS]

01:24:03   company John for the last 15 years when [TS]

01:24:06   an email shows up in my inbox by either [TS]

01:24:09   for hit to my mom or i forwarded to [TS]

01:24:11   pursue cracker [TS]

01:24:12   ah I've been trendlines changed a lot [TS]

01:24:15   less complete yes 75-percent of those [TS]

01:24:18   emails from either that I said in either [TS]

01:24:21   direction always came back to me with a [TS]

01:24:23   question mark big asking what do you [TS]

01:24:26   want me to do with just you keep didn't [TS]

01:24:28   say anything just forwarded to me with [TS]

01:24:30   no comments if you really do that [TS]

01:24:32   yeah and then i have to go back and say [TS]

01:24:34   wasn't fucking obvious what I want to do [TS]

01:24:36   I want to deal with them and then our [TS]

01:24:39   suit guys are like not here we're not [TS]

01:24:41   your email dealers and my mom goes and [TS]

01:24:47   the things that she can the things that [TS]

01:24:49   you can figure it Kiki reason it's [TS]

01:24:52   better you got sent home looking like [TS]

01:24:54   everybody my opinion note to your shirt [TS]

01:24:57   I think it's like it's taking third [TS]

01:24:58   grade like you came home on the bus and [TS]

01:25:00   like you're basically taking the note [TS]

01:25:01   off your shirt and handing it to your [TS]

01:25:03   mom [TS]

01:25:03   yeah yeah yeah basically I've been doing [TS]

01:25:06   that since the third grade design this I [TS]

01:25:08   got expelled today why I don't know we [TS]

01:25:12   read the note mom it says right here [TS]

01:25:14   John doesn't work well with others John [TS]

01:25:16   didn't participate in class John was [TS]

01:25:18   disrupted on set things on fire [TS]

01:25:20   howhow oh my god so anyway well what do [TS]

01:25:23   you do [TS]

01:25:23   well now i have to hire a business [TS]

01:25:25   manager fuck that at the higher business [TS]

01:25:28   manager who is going to do my who's [TS]

01:25:30   going to handle my business and I got [TS]

01:25:32   more business now than ever [TS]

01:25:35   but you seem like you've got more like I [TS]

01:25:37   don't actually talk about this to do [TS]

01:25:39   very much but it seems like you've [TS]

01:25:40   definitely ate your I don't know about [TS]

01:25:44   talking about the money it seems like [TS]

01:25:46   you've got stuff coming from different [TS]

01:25:47   places more than other others like it [TS]

01:25:50   could be that there's the car commercial [TS]

01:25:51   thing that could be like who knows you [TS]

01:25:53   might get on a compilation here or [TS]

01:25:54   there's this distribution thing here or [TS]

01:25:56   travel thing and a touring thing here [TS]

01:25:58   right i mean way different from 10 years [TS]

01:26:00   ago right [TS]

01:26:01   so Josh my record label boss says to me [TS]

01:26:05   the other day he's like so am i right [TS]

01:26:08   that you want your career to be now that [TS]

01:26:11   you are this person who does everything [TS]

01:26:14   and is like is like on tv and writing [TS]

01:26:18   books and giving speeches and you're all [TS]

01:26:21   here you here at every kind of [TS]

01:26:27   entertainment is that and music is like [TS]

01:26:30   some portion of that is that to my right [TS]

01:26:32   and at it that that is what you want [TS]

01:26:33   your career to be I said know what I [TS]

01:26:39   wanted was to be a rock star so that i [TS]

01:26:43   could do all that other shit for fun [TS]

01:26:45   that's my fucking record label didn't [TS]

01:26:49   make it happen haha sundown i'm out and [TS]

01:26:52   about dragon as door-to-door selling [TS]

01:26:56   jokes during that was not the answer he [TS]

01:27:02   was looking now about sharpening [TS]

01:27:04   people's knives and Fire their touch [TS]

01:27:06   selling go and giving keynote speeches [TS]

01:27:09   so [TS]