0:00:00this episode of the incomparable is
0:00:02brought to you by Squarespace the
0:00:05all-in-one platform that makes it fast
0:00:07and easy to create your own professional
0:00:09website or online portfolio for a free
0:00:12trial and ten percent off go to
0:00:14squarespace.com and use offer code Jason
0:00:18everybody before we get started I want
0:00:23to tell you about something new that
0:00:25we're doing we're not playing Dungeons
0:00:27and Dragons on episodes of the
0:00:28incomparable anymore we move them to
0:00:30their own podcast check it out it's
0:00:32called total party kill you can get more
0:00:34information and subscribe by visiting
0:00:36the incomparable dot-com / tpk
0:00:51the incontrovertible number 182
0:00:56february2014 well here we are again did
0:01:01I call this meeting of the incomparable
0:01:03Star Wars Club to order we went through
0:01:05the original movies we went and watched
0:01:07episode one we let a reasonable amount
0:01:10of time lapse so that we could recover
0:01:12and we're back to talk about star wars
0:01:15episode episode I should let me let me
0:01:18punch with this properly Star Wars dash
0:01:20episode to Roman numeral colon
0:01:23attack of the clones right I think
0:01:25that's the right way to to get official
0:01:28title i got a wrong last time so I'm
0:01:30making sure I get it right this time and
0:01:32just to explain we would like to talk
0:01:36about star wars we did two episode
0:01:38chunks about each of the original three
0:01:41movies and then by popular demand they
0:01:43asked us to talk about
0:01:44I you listeners asked us to talk about
0:01:47the prequels which were which we denied
0:01:49all knowledge of before 1i listeners
0:01:51one-night-only we bring it back and we
0:01:54talked about it and so that leads us to
0:01:56this unfortunate moment which is what we
0:01:59watch Star Wars Episode two and now
0:02:00we're going to talk about it
0:02:01I want to I want to leave some warnings
0:02:03right here which is although we love
0:02:05Star Wars especially the original
0:02:06trilogy of prequels we don't love so
0:02:08much and although we try not to do whole
0:02:11episodes about things we know we're
0:02:12gonna hate be just to destroy them every
0:02:15now and then catharsis is good for the
0:02:17soul i believe and that's I think what
0:02:19you're probably going to here tonight is
0:02:21some some catharsis about a movie that
0:02:25we don't like although you never know
0:02:27Monty might say the things are there me
0:02:29my blow our minds with things that he
0:02:30likes about it i think it's unlikely
0:02:32might not do it might have created some
0:02:34other insane an unlikely backstory to
0:02:36make it all better for himself so let me
0:02:38introduce the the participants here
0:02:41before we get started
0:02:43skewered you heard Steve let's hi Steve
0:02:45hi Jason you watch the movie can we
0:02:49confirm that I i think i did alright i
0:02:52saw you get started actually with her in
0:02:54little pieces over yes I took me three
0:02:57it took me three nights and it felt like
0:02:59about 30 that's the worst Hanukkah ever
0:03:01all right as i will as i will discuss
0:03:03later it's a
0:03:04I have difficulty remembering this film
0:03:07so all right well do your best you can
0:03:10make for you I'll do it again
0:03:11alright i took extensive notes and until
0:03:13they turn into just horrible filthy
0:03:15scrolling is at the end of the list and
0:03:18i should be able to work from the right
0:03:19that it's it's never a good sign when
0:03:21you start with detail the film criticism
0:03:23notes and it ends in a suicide note
0:03:26yeah never a good son Monty actually is
0:03:28also here hi Monty by Jason good to have
0:03:31you here and to be here and he required
0:03:34me watching this may be there we go okay
0:03:37Dan more in you I believe watch this
0:03:42just moments ago flophouse style before
0:03:44the recording of this podcast is that
0:03:46correcting deed for the first time in 12
0:03:49years
0:03:49wow that's good and they haven't seen it
0:03:52since i saw it in the theater so thanks
0:03:54for reminding me yeah thank you for your
0:03:56commitment to the podcast is what i have
0:03:58to say i am going to be committed at the
0:03:59end of this podcast that may also be
0:04:01true
0:04:02serenity Caldwell I believe also joined
0:04:04you for this fine squeak screaming right
0:04:06before we begin recording hello
0:04:07unfortunately yes hello Jason I always
0:04:11watching with somebody
0:04:12yeah I you know is I'd watch them
0:04:15watching this movie when it came out in
0:04:182002 was I think a much better
0:04:20experience for me and I'm really
0:04:22watching it tonight but there was snark
0:04:24involved tonight so it was a little bit
0:04:25better
0:04:26that's good and of course you wouldn't
0:04:28miss one it's john siracusa hello i
0:04:31guess i can add another data point to
0:04:33this experiment and say that I to took
0:04:35three separate occasions to make it
0:04:37through this movie took two for me I i
0:04:40had to break right I rip the band-aid
0:04:42off and did in one good job
0:04:44well okay so I i have a little bit of a
0:04:49synopsis here in my notes that like I
0:04:51said trails off into sadness at the end
0:04:53or trails often incoherence at the end
0:04:55it starts really with sadness and goes
0:04:56from there
0:04:57but before I do I would like to ask if
0:04:59anybody particularly John Syracuse has
0:05:01any opening remarks as we often like to
0:05:04do especially for star wars episodes
0:05:05John do you have any room works i do
0:05:08have a very brief opening statement
0:05:09right I've heard the dan moore and also
0:05:11as well as well so he can go after me if
0:05:13you would like I don't already sent them
0:05:15very generous thank you job
0:05:17alright so i'm going to start with a
0:05:20brief review of my theory of the meta
0:05:23failure of the Star Wars prequels this
0:05:25is a repeat of anyone who has listened
0:05:27to the Phantom Menace episode this is
0:05:29just a quick summary of that so to recap
0:05:31that the reason these movies exist is to
0:05:34explain how Luke's father became Darth
0:05:37Vader because that's what we all want to
0:05:38know after seeing the first three movies
0:05:39and episode 1 didn't really do much in
0:05:43that regard to contribute to the effort
0:05:44towards my concern
0:05:46yeah it's my contention that the entire
0:05:48prequels the whole totally failed to
0:05:50achieve this goal and this is aside from
0:05:52their failings as an individual movie so
0:05:54that's the big bang theory but all that
0:05:56said going into episode 2 in 2002 i was
0:06:00actually cautiously optimistic for a
0:06:02couple of reasons about the second movie
0:06:04first I knew that Anakin will be played
0:06:07by different older and presumably better
0:06:09actor so thumbs up on that different
0:06:12second so much for presuming a sensible
0:06:14episode 2 was rumored to be darker than
0:06:16episode 1 and I figured she's after all
0:06:18that jar stuff darker has got to be
0:06:20better right at the best action scene in
0:06:23episode one was the lightsaber battle at
0:06:25the end and episode to promise to have
0:06:27more lightsaber battles Anna I sale this
0:06:31basically to explain that I wouldn't
0:06:32episode 2 I didn't go into a determined
0:06:34to hate it i went in thinking you could
0:06:37still turn this thing around
0:06:38I knew it was a three-episode trilogy
0:06:41with the first one was crummy but maybe
0:06:44to win three will be better so I had no
0:06:47preconceived notions I was willing to
0:06:49believe at this point and I think the
0:06:51rest of the podcast will talk about how
0:06:53my hopes were dashed alright good table
0:06:59setting their damn or would you like
0:07:00anything I i just had a short short list
0:07:04which includes let's see robots
0:07:06spaceships lightsabers political
0:07:11intrigue it elicits love affairs clones
0:07:16and only George Lucas could take all of
0:07:19these things put them in a single movie
0:07:21and make it so boring but you want to
0:07:24fall asleep or else your list didn't
0:07:26have death-sticks on it was that just an
0:07:28oversight
0:07:29no death-sticks reading challenge cuts
0:07:31what's the opposite of political
0:07:33intrigue is it political out tree good
0:07:36because that's what this movie had it
0:07:38yeah well we can start with the kraal
0:07:41can't leave because I quality where I
0:07:43was indicative yeah you have divided
0:07:45before you get there i have a refocusing
0:07:47statement myself oh my goodness yes this
0:07:49is this is as exciting as the Imperial
0:07:52Senate passing resolutions that are
0:07:54nominated by George are being opening
0:07:56statement the podcast don't get too
0:07:57excited
0:07:58dan yield the floor to refer know I know
0:08:00I i just wanted to that was sort of my
0:08:02nice little bitty rabbit but i agree
0:08:04with everything my esteemed colleague
0:08:06from siracusa that Ramu ok Steve you may
0:08:11go ahead
0:08:12this is more really the form of a
0:08:13disclaimer I this is absolutely true
0:08:16when I watched this movie it was several
0:08:19years after everybody else had already
0:08:20seen it and trashed it and I've seen
0:08:22episode 1 and thought okay well that's
0:08:23some crap but it you know it's semi
0:08:26entertaining and so I sat down to watch
0:08:29this I was on i think i was on a trip
0:08:31somewhere on for business sat down to
0:08:33the laptop watched it you know got
0:08:36through it and then a week later I was
0:08:38somewhere else in another hotel and I
0:08:40looked at the DVD and i realized i watch
0:08:43this week ago and I have absolutely no
0:08:46recollection of anything that happened
0:08:48in this film that is absolutely true
0:08:50two-and-a-half hours of my life were
0:08:52just gone
0:08:54I knew something must have happened
0:08:55during that time I had sort of a vague
0:08:57sense that there had been explosions and
0:09:00and sand but the specific I was a lot
0:09:02like a cup party back in college that I
0:09:05was thinking not unlike that at all
0:09:06except not only so far from the roof
0:09:08like fell on your head as you exited the
0:09:11theater and yes that might well yeah it
0:09:13was really like tiles were falling on my
0:09:15head throughout the entire viewing some
0:09:18of us could only wish that I'll had
0:09:19following months after this movie idea I
0:09:22don't know if I would take a concussion
0:09:24normally but it's looking good this is
0:09:27graham ok let's start with the crawl and
0:09:28when do you have any comments about the
0:09:30crawl i only have a couple notes there
0:09:31so yeah my my big note about the crawl
0:09:34is the only exciting words in that
0:09:37entire thing or army which they also i
0:09:41think happened to be both
0:09:42folded and everything else there Bob
0:09:45love oh blah blah blah limited Jedi
0:09:48numbers
0:09:49blah blah blah zenit my favorite part is
0:09:52blah blah blah
0:09:53Count Dooku yeah blah blah i would like
0:09:56is that you know when there's nothing
0:09:57better than then introducing a pivotal
0:10:00character being performed by a legendary
0:10:03actor by mentioning him as if you know
0:10:07who he is in the crawl involving
0:10:09bureaucracy and then not reply with your
0:10:13two hours
0:10:14well and then naming him something like
0:10:16Count Dooku so did anybody ever has
0:10:19anyone ever seen rocky doodle because I
0:10:21feel like there's a character named like
0:10:24Count Dooku or count Dukas or something
0:10:26like that and that is always stuck with
0:10:28me
0:10:28it's the nickname for receives cat one
0:10:31Wanda cool tool towards cools my note on
0:10:38the crawl was that I was excited up
0:10:39until the phrase a separatist movement
0:10:42which is for a way to describe a
0:10:45rebellion they could come up yes
0:10:47yeah like going in with expectations of
0:10:49like oh this the second one could be
0:10:50better you gotta hand is George Lucas he
0:10:52wasted absolutely no time and
0:10:54immediately dissuading me from the
0:10:56notion that this movie busy going to be
0:10:58different and I like the first sentences
0:11:01there is unrest and the Galactic Senate
0:11:04it's like a lot but not even a sentence
0:11:07I don't even get a sentence to think
0:11:09that maybe this was going to be
0:11:10different you go right for the Senate it
0:11:11turns out there's food poisoning even
0:11:13the universe is in peril
0:11:14there was no mention of taxation or
0:11:16trade routes this time
0:11:17yeah so but senators would like there is
0:11:20unrest is fine in the Galactic now don't
0:11:23say it's okay I think we're supposed to
0:11:26be excited when the Trade Federation
0:11:27guys show up near the end of the movie
0:11:29like Georgia has no idea what people are
0:11:32nostalgic for at all no yes new can
0:11:35raise those guys
0:11:36oh I hate those guys I just like that
0:11:38George Lucas looked at the first movie
0:11:40Ghost that's pretty low bar at i think i
0:11:42can get under that we're not playing a
0:11:45game of window darn it
0:11:46the separatist movement i mean this is
0:11:49this is the first off with it with the
0:11:51crawl is supposed to do is like get you
0:11:52excited about what's to what's to come
0:11:54and instead
0:11:56it's like trying to fill in lots of
0:11:58stuff that that is the trajectory that
0:12:00this film is trying to take us on except
0:12:02it's starting
0:12:03believe it or not it's starting later
0:12:05than it would have liked to eight get it
0:12:07seems to me that another hour of
0:12:08separatists arguing for a partition of
0:12:12the Empire in the Senate is a really
0:12:14well George Lucas wants to talk about
0:12:15here because ultimately is this not
0:12:17right that this this story is a
0:12:19slow-motion car crash but it really is
0:12:21just like hey what if there were lots of
0:12:23political imaginations behind it seems
0:12:25that led to a dictatorship
0:12:27okay I get it but um it's not
0:12:30interesting
0:12:31it's it's a story that has happened in
0:12:34history and you could tell it but it's
0:12:37not interesting and in the count dooku
0:12:39thing
0:12:40introducing him in the crawl you know
0:12:41it's just it just seems like a waste
0:12:43plus it's never clear later in the movie
0:12:45about the whole separatist movement and
0:12:48why they exist other than as a ploy
0:12:50churches what are they doing
0:12:52who are they why do they want to have a
0:12:54droid army
0:12:56why is the separatist movement made up
0:12:57entirely of businessmen except as a spin
0:13:00there's also that robot guy who they're
0:13:02at their robot business with the knobs
0:13:05on robot businesses with a with a night
0:13:07of the talking speaking spell from the
0:13:09tango yeah it's kind of like the father
0:13:12on the meters in I feel confident saying
0:13:14that this movie might have been better
0:13:16if the first two hours had been a crawl
0:13:18then there's like half an hour of like
0:13:20action at the end
0:13:22yeah that's how it's very it's certainly
0:13:24crawled i'll get there there are people
0:13:26who can make interesting movies and
0:13:29television shows out of political
0:13:31machinations but you have to kind of go
0:13:34the game of thrones route if you want to
0:13:36do that
0:13:37like who's yeah I guess lots of nudity
0:13:41is beyond all there's a fair amount of
0:13:42like a hinted duty in this movie anyways
0:13:45address buddy I'm there is midriff there
0:13:48is major and claws but no I mean there
0:13:52are hints that in this terrible train
0:13:56wreck of a movie there could have been
0:13:57something cool like the the lego the
0:14:02lego star wars version of this movie is
0:14:03perfectly fine right
0:14:05in fact i had i advise you to watch that
0:14:07instead of this
0:14:09I don't know about the lego star wars
0:14:12version of looking for I've never played
0:14:13the lego star wars yells I was thinking
0:14:16about that while watching this game and
0:14:17while watching pirates of the caribbean
0:14:19to that I watched yesterday there's
0:14:20lousy seems that I feel more charitable
0:14:23towards because I enjoyed playing a LEGO
0:14:26version it's a LEGO version was much
0:14:29much much better with the LEGO version
0:14:30is probably don't have terrible dialogue
0:14:32alright so we all made it through the
0:14:33crow we all survived i think all of the
0:14:36crawl is my first experience of going
0:14:38like is the the kraal they go through
0:14:40the car almost like you said it's
0:14:41setting you up for like the first scene
0:14:42of the movie and as I'm watching the
0:14:44crawl and being disgusted by whatever I
0:14:46go you know what I have no recollection
0:14:48of what they were trying to set up like
0:14:51you know that they're trying to set up
0:14:53something the scene is when economic
0:14:56dollar the senator whatever comes on the
0:14:57planet in her thing and and gets bombed
0:14:59right and what they were trying to set
0:15:01up there was supposed to be this vote
0:15:03and she was coming there to vote on and
0:15:04I had no recollection of that like boys
0:15:06I can't remember the promise of the
0:15:07first scene
0:15:08yeah this is this is not gonna be good
0:15:09and I like as I kept watching the movie
0:15:12i'm like it's just all with that alien
0:15:14guy with the forearms like seriously I
0:15:16had talked to some sort of end-user
0:15:18array that comes to have this move it
0:15:19makes you forget everything about it
0:15:21maybe it's like your brain protecting
0:15:22itself
0:15:23yeah it's it's like what happens when
0:15:24you're when you're reading something
0:15:26really boring and you suddenly realize
0:15:28that you stopped actually processing the
0:15:29word several paragraphs ago
0:15:31you're thinking about something more
0:15:32interesting yeah yeah speeders and
0:15:34clones are flying around and stupid
0:15:36things are being said poorly but your
0:15:37mind just checks itself out i just like
0:15:39even even focusing on
0:15:41I mean like Amidala that's a good point
0:15:43if the kraal was that that you know
0:15:46senator Amidala former formerly queen is
0:15:50on a desperate mission to save the the
0:15:53Empire from falling apart but she's
0:15:55under threat and has come here under
0:15:57heavy guard and try to make it like
0:15:58right like it's we missed a cliffhanger
0:16:00of an exciting thirties movie serial
0:16:03remember last time on star where yet her
0:16:07landing there and having the thing blow
0:16:09up and all that would be like oh you
0:16:10know what mission was she on and then we
0:16:12learned but instead it's like you know
0:16:14her mission is one little piece in this
0:16:16much bigger puzzle which may be true
0:16:18plot-wise but if you know will give us
0:16:20something we remember her vaguely from
0:16:22the last
0:16:22we can give can we hang something on
0:16:25that and then the calls are awkward at
0:16:27all the other movies as well but if you
0:16:29could sum up in like a sentence like
0:16:31empires like bad guys expecting the good
0:16:34guys good guys are hiding on snow planet
0:16:35like it and the next one is I that's are
0:16:38good guys trying to go get on soul he
0:16:40was frozen and the last movie will you
0:16:42notice the first the original trilogy
0:16:44the kraal always centers around the main
0:16:48characters like there's some big picture
0:16:49stuff but it always ends or begins with
0:16:53a main character i will these lies the
0:16:55rub because there is no matter what yeah
0:16:57there's no main character any the main
0:17:00characters of the prequels of a whole
0:17:02but especially episode 2 is the Galactic
0:17:06Senate and the Jedi Order there's no
0:17:08like we try they try and narrow it a bit
0:17:11like oh we should care about Anakin and
0:17:13obi-wan and Amidala and also Yoda and
0:17:16also the Jedi Council and also maybe
0:17:18charger like there's no centering force
0:17:21to any of this movie it's just a lot of
0:17:24tiny little vignettes that are supposed
0:17:26to string together and you're not quite
0:17:28sure how they all do which is
0:17:30inexcusable because again we're supposed
0:17:32to be learning ionic intensity darth
0:17:34vader and so you could write off the
0:17:35first movie but say surely now when we
0:17:37have an adult actor playing Anakin
0:17:39surely the focus will be on him how
0:17:41could it not be on him that's what these
0:17:42movies are about was like actually he's
0:17:44just kind of hanging around annoys you
0:17:45to illustrate this here's how have sowed
0:17:47fours crawl ends pursued by the Empire
0:17:51sinister agents Princess Leia races home
0:17:53about her starship custodian of the
0:17:55stolen plans that can save her people
0:17:56restore freedom to the galaxy and they
0:17:58cut from that to Princess Leia racing
0:18:01home aboard her starship with the stolen
0:18:02plans it flows in and tells you where
0:18:05you are supposed to this where I don't
0:18:07even remember how even the just the
0:18:09words are more days remember Army of the
0:18:11Republic yeah
0:18:13Count Dooku even count dooku doesn't get
0:18:16caps no no just the army of the republic
0:18:19and see if I can pull us past the call
0:18:22here after the crawl
0:18:24they you know they show the ship flying
0:18:26in yeah and everything and I was struck
0:18:28by like how the the CG and the opening
0:18:32scene you know they cut from that like
0:18:34the people walking out of the ship in
0:18:35line
0:18:36platform the CG and the audio in the
0:18:38opening scene looks better than the
0:18:39first live-action shot and that's
0:18:41something I would find myself thinking
0:18:42throughout this entire movie that the cg
0:18:44although it is a look
0:18:45it hasn't aged all that well you can see
0:18:46kind of like the rough edges invariably
0:18:49looks better to me than the live action
0:18:51shots and I think the live action shots
0:18:53are aging works so that the CD was like
0:18:55oh this could be cool that's nice
0:18:56visuals and I cut to a bunch of people
0:18:58walking around on a green screen thing
0:18:59I'm like oh yeah i forgot those with
0:19:00this movement it's not even the lights
0:19:02that are terrible to the compositing
0:19:04right like exactly what they're putting
0:19:05contrast with the cgi she couldn't
0:19:07figure out how to time it
0:19:09it's that the people never look like
0:19:10they're in the scene with whatever is
0:19:12flapping around a matter understand why
0:19:14because that like if anyone would have
0:19:16the technology to integrate them like
0:19:18the cg itself is very well done it's
0:19:20just I think there's something off about
0:19:22it and it you know it makes me wish the
0:19:25entire movie with CG like when the ship
0:19:26goes by I was thinking boy ben burtt
0:19:28still makes the best engine noise and
0:19:29then we cut to a bunch of people walking
0:19:31around the green screen like uh well on
0:19:33the other hand there are places where
0:19:34the CG is really really bad like I think
0:19:37on Kamino in particular the Camino and
0:19:39look ridiculous anytime you're gonna go
0:19:42two characters in this film they are
0:19:45inevitably going to look worse because
0:19:46we have to remember too that this is
0:19:482002 right this is pre monsters inc pre
0:19:51hair revolutions in CG and 3d pre proper
0:19:56lighting engineering so they're still
0:19:59dealing with I can't remember the exact
0:20:01title term with it but they they
0:20:03basically are dealing with a much
0:20:04reduced kind of like a 256-color
0:20:07lighting spectrum to borrow like it
0:20:10they're dealing like with with the gif
0:20:11of CGI right now before they haven't
0:20:14gotten to like jpeg ER SVG maybe they
0:20:17maybe should've dealt with that by I
0:20:19don't know some practical effects
0:20:21hey you would think but I they want Yoda
0:20:23jumping around
0:20:24I have a note later that says the
0:20:25practical effects that were worse than
0:20:27both the CD and live actors at one point
0:20:29that it's rather have Anakin and and pad
0:20:32me getting out of like that stupid
0:20:33gondola looking thing later in the movie
0:20:35and that gondola thing looks to me like
0:20:38someone made a CG model and then someone
0:20:42looked at the CG model and made a
0:20:44real-life wooden representation of it
0:20:46and then they got out of the wooden
0:20:47thing it's like then the
0:20:49movie made from the novelization of the
0:20:50you-know-what yeah it's a little less
0:20:52because in the workflow it's it's two
0:20:54cycles through the end it just I was
0:20:56like that wooden boat is the worst thing
0:20:57I've ever seen in a movie
0:20:59it just looks dumb it looks fake it
0:21:01doesn't look like anything I've ever
0:21:02want to see and I was begging for it to
0:21:04be done in badlo red cg with bad
0:21:06lighting on it like that would have been
0:21:07a step up at least it goes away quickly
0:21:09and like they're CGI diner owner who's
0:21:11in the middle of the scrum forever
0:21:14well look we get there we'll get there i
0:21:16wanna i want to mention want to drag at
0:21:17least the so there's an assassination
0:21:19attempt after an entire movie of a Padre
0:21:23having did doubles that I couldn't tell
0:21:26apart even though it was keira knightley
0:21:27and not Natalie Portman but that you can
0:21:29listen to our episode 1 episodes for
0:21:30that and nothing really happens except
0:21:33there's a switcheroo at some point here
0:21:35in the very first scene it's like that's
0:21:36why she's got a double because her
0:21:38double is horribly killed in an
0:21:39assassination attempt while Padma is
0:21:41riding in the little like side ship and
0:21:45actually doesn't look like her
0:21:46yeah this double actually looks more
0:21:47like jimmy smits double she says I've I
0:21:51failed you senator don't know how did
0:21:53not recognize exactly what you're there
0:21:55for you right
0:21:56she might have failed her by telling not
0:21:57telling her to get the hell off the
0:21:59platform that wasn't she supposed
0:22:00they're very clearly herself not really
0:22:03in a disguise she's taking off for
0:22:04disguise and she's just standing there
0:22:05right where they just killed what they
0:22:07thought was hurt like hell oh and she's
0:22:09there for a very long time and this
0:22:11scene all MC and follows it also blows
0:22:13me away because it makes the Jedi seem
0:22:14completely clueless because they
0:22:16actually say well as far as we can tell
0:22:18these are some disgruntled spice miners
0:22:20back on Abu really angry spice miners
0:22:23why we have you clear everything going
0:22:27course and it would be so much easier to
0:22:29bum you like in space and at this point
0:22:31I started writing lines of dialogue and
0:22:33I find a lot of my notes from episode to
0:22:34our lines of dialogue just because i was
0:22:36just my mind bother them in that
0:22:38particular scene talking about the spice
0:22:40miners and here's here's padme's lines i
0:22:42love how she doesn't use contractions
0:22:43because that shows she's formulas is
0:22:45good we should just read the dialogue of
0:22:46this movie as a podcast tonight
0:22:48directions or instructions hairline
0:22:50do you have any idea who's behind this
0:22:52attack is a contraction at least and
0:22:54then they say the spice mine things and
0:22:56then she says I think that can Dooku was
0:22:57behind it
0:22:58okay great writing their own idea I
0:23:02think that I think that is countered
0:23:03that that is literally every line here
0:23:05there's no subtext
0:23:07yes again again with the text versus
0:23:09subtext even the sentence construction
0:23:11doesn't vary here almost I was counting
0:23:12the number of lines that are like I verb
0:23:15blank like I verb now I verb down I verb
0:23:18adjective i feel like it's almost every
0:23:21sentence for a period of maybe 15-20
0:23:23minutes starts with every character
0:23:24saying I and only that but they're
0:23:26declarative sentences they're like I
0:23:28feel angry and upset yeah it's like oh
0:23:31you Europe the equivalent of pseudocode
0:23:33of yours in pseudocode you're not
0:23:34writing the actual computer code you
0:23:36want to do something just kind of
0:23:37sketching that vaguely ideas you know
0:23:39they're happening in Apple's behind
0:23:41andria and and they just they just took
0:23:43the pseudocode and I said but just have
0:23:44the people say that
0:23:45so you're thinking that maybe Lucas
0:23:47intended to go back into a second draft
0:23:49at some point all the George George
0:23:51these dialogues in brackets what does
0:23:53that mean why is it in brackets it's
0:23:54already headed to it later he was gonna
0:23:56give it to a writer and then someone to
0:23:57write the script does what he had it
0:24:00they had a writer
0:24:01they had a second writer on inhales
0:24:02right the great work with him on yahoo
0:24:04basically was like gasps sounds great
0:24:06George yeah I don't do much here let me
0:24:08do a couple typos corrections i'll just
0:24:11run spell check on it will be good
0:24:12we've got great actors like natalie
0:24:14portman you and mcgregor don't have seen
0:24:17did you not see episode 1i think the
0:24:20Count Dooku is behind it could not be in
0:24:22any other movie have you ever heard like
0:24:24in turn i think that blank is behind it
0:24:26like you can't say that in a movie you
0:24:28would say like Count Dooku or it must be
0:24:29Count Dooku somewhat like even those are
0:24:31clichés but something anything just
0:24:33throw me a bone but even those would
0:24:34sound yet even those would be more
0:24:36sonnets and the stupid I mean it sounds
0:24:39like it was written by a third grader
0:24:41really a line featuring Count Dooku
0:24:44sounds juvenile that the dialogue in the
0:24:47original Star Wars there's a lot of
0:24:48cliche dialogue that sounds like
0:24:51something out of a cereal right it's you
0:24:54know I sure did you sell it
0:24:56yeah with with all the all the all the
0:24:58stuff on the Death Star with leia and
0:24:59all that but it's it is and it's a
0:25:01reference and it snowing here it's not
0:25:03like campy or over-the-top it's
0:25:06non-existent it's just flat it's a
0:25:08blizzard gates and it's I really think
0:25:10it's more the delivery than the dialogue
0:25:12like
0:25:12well I was just gonna say what what is
0:25:15it what is it
0:25:15how do you believe that dialogue well
0:25:17because we agree the delivery is
0:25:19terrible and we create the lines a
0:25:20terrible but how do you apportion the
0:25:21blame
0:25:22well I think it's due Co if he's behind
0:25:24the script and I mean it depends you can
0:25:27you if you can produce this script in a
0:25:30way where you can make it actually sound
0:25:32like rational dialogue then it's the
0:25:35delivery but I don't think that's
0:25:37actually possible i don't know i think
0:25:38no matter who you put in those roles
0:25:40this is going to sound terrible because
0:25:43it will repel the guy who wrote the
0:25:44script also directed these people and I
0:25:46think the apportionment doesn't really
0:25:48matter
0:25:48oh yeah atlantis on one person i'm just
0:25:50saying like because there are a lot of
0:25:51terrible lines in the original trilogy
0:25:52and and you know great actors managed to
0:25:55sell them in hindsight but like I don't
0:25:58like another thing that I think could
0:25:59not be made better is when obi-wan and
0:26:01Anakin are coming up in the elevator and
0:26:02trying to share that tale about remember
0:26:04when I thought gundarks pit like it's
0:26:06you know what that seen this supposed to
0:26:08do is supposed to show us that they're
0:26:09these guys had some wacky adventures
0:26:11together and they're bonding fell into
0:26:12that nightmare master and then we pause
0:26:15for one breath and then laugh because
0:26:17remember and everyone says oh start to
0:26:21restrained in this film at least that
0:26:24was that keeps on giving my impression
0:26:25like you get Padme you get Anakin and
0:26:29obi-wan in that elevator scene where
0:26:32despite the fact that they have this
0:26:34somewhat casual dialogue and it's one of
0:26:36the few instances of casual dialogue
0:26:38they have they are both so it's like
0:26:41there's a wall between them and for all
0:26:43we know they could have recorded their
0:26:45dialogue and their appearances
0:26:47separately thanks to the magic of CGI
0:26:49Harrison Ford does more acting with one
0:26:52lean it's possible that hayden
0:26:53christensen is entirely
0:26:54computer-generated time to take a brief
0:26:56break so that i can thank ausable for
0:27:00its support of the incomparable audible
0:27:02is the leading provider of downloadable
0:27:03audiobooks and we have a special offer
0:27:05just for our listeners coming up in a
0:27:08moment so keep listening audible offers
0:27:11a hundred and fifty thousand books
0:27:12covering virtually every genre including
0:27:15sci-fi and fantasy which are near and
0:27:17dear to my heart if you want to listen
0:27:19to a book
0:27:20audible has it listen to audiobooks
0:27:22anytime anywhere including on iphones I
0:27:25pads Mac species Kindles you name it and
0:27:29here's the best part
0:27:29audible is offering comfortable
0:27:31listeners a free audiobook along with a
0:27:3430-day trial you go to audible
0:27:37podcast.com slash incomparable to take
0:27:41advantage of this special offer by doing
0:27:43so you not only get the chance to check
0:27:45out this great service you support the
0:27:47uncomfortable as well now this is the
0:27:49part where audible likes me to give you
0:27:51one of my book recommendations on
0:27:54audible and its Nexus by run as knob
0:27:57first book in a series but it's a great
0:28:00standalone novel narrated by Luke
0:28:01Daniels available unabridged Ramez nom
0:28:05he's a sci-fi writer he also writes
0:28:06nonfiction super nice guy and it's a
0:28:09really good book about a near-future
0:28:12experience where people have learned to
0:28:15hack the human brain and install an
0:28:19operating system that runs on and around
0:28:22your own neurons and gives people the
0:28:24ability to tap into the power of their
0:28:26minds and connect to other people's
0:28:28minds really really interesting book i
0:28:31was going to say mind-expanding but
0:28:33that's sort of what the books about to
0:28:35anyway really smart near future idea of
0:28:38augmented humanity i think it uh I think
0:28:41it's really worth your time it's
0:28:42available unabridged on audible and I
0:28:46think you should check it out
0:28:47nexus by run as nom on audible so get
0:28:51your free audio book it could be nexus
0:28:53it could be something else
0:28:54kick off your free trial go to audible
0:28:56podcast.com slash in comfortable and
0:28:59thanks to audible for its support of the
0:29:01incomparable the Jedi also i have to say
0:29:05i couldn't imagine that the Jedi that
0:29:09being a Jedi Master a Jedi Knight would
0:29:12be boring but there's a piece of
0:29:14dialogue that really kills me early on
0:29:16here where they mentioned that they that
0:29:19obi-wan can take care of her and watch
0:29:21her
0:29:21he's just back from from a border
0:29:24dispute and I thought wow that is a
0:29:26terrible job being a Jedi Knight because
0:29:28apparently that's what they don't fight
0:29:30with lightsabers use the Force
0:29:32no you go again to the bureaucrats and
0:29:34other boarders be I think the river
0:29:36belongs to us no no
0:29:38half the river belongs to us well let's
0:29:41get the Jedi in here to deal with this
0:29:43well Jason the Jedi are keepers of the
0:29:45Peace not soldiers of course this is why
0:29:47the Republic has fallen because they're
0:29:49using their guys with awesome magic
0:29:51powers and lightsabers to deal with
0:29:52border disputes again meanwhile he's
0:29:55rotting from the inside out touring
0:29:57terrible job i'm just saying terrible
0:29:59job by the way this movie brings you out
0:30:01of this boredom is that all you think
0:30:03you think you're bored now you think
0:30:04that that scene where the elevator was
0:30:06too boring that sounds like that sticks
0:30:07up their butts just wait and again is
0:30:09gonna meet Pat me and he's going to
0:30:10start to work with his amazing like you
0:30:14grow until yeah so have you grown more
0:30:17beautiful I mean can we talk about the
0:30:19age discrepancy a little bit because
0:30:20this is very strange
0:30:21this is apparently ten years after the
0:30:23previous movie and and natalie portman
0:30:26doesn't look any older but of course
0:30:27Jake Lloyd is now hayden christensen
0:30:30she'll howls what she wanted me for
0:30:31great justice 1441 episode waters movie
0:30:36yeah she's supposed to be 14
0:30:38ok she was elected as Queen at 40 she
0:30:40wasn't the youngest queen ever elected
0:30:42and how old is Anakin eight
0:30:45yeah he's got easy and please so it's
0:30:49legal it's weird I've got some real
0:30:50issues with the whole concept of an
0:30:52elected queen by the way
0:30:54yeah i was looking that up on Wikipedia
0:30:57while we were watching tonight because i
0:30:59was very unclear about the whole
0:31:01mechanics of that I'm like really you're
0:31:03elected somebody who's 14 to govern your
0:31:06planet she was in the Legislative youth
0:31:08program
0:31:09yes and then it's like the model un
0:31:11never do I didn't know we elected people
0:31:14from the model un to you know service
0:31:16governor of us turns out nobody else on
0:31:18the booze quote I have no problem with
0:31:19this because I always viewed this as
0:31:21being one of these really you know
0:31:22bizarre things that grows up over over
0:31:25thousands of years where there's
0:31:26probably something about how we're going
0:31:28to take our our most brilliant children
0:31:30before their unsullied by political
0:31:31connections and we're going to you know
0:31:33elect them as the Queen the queen is is
0:31:36is not a in in most times it's just a
0:31:38ceremonial figure because the guy with
0:31:40the guy with the goatee is back there
0:31:42doing the actual work right okay you
0:31:44gotta work all way to get that job yeah
0:31:46course setup that makes sense if she's
0:31:48she's clearly only a figurehead that
0:31:50makes perfect sense but it appears
0:31:52there's based on the first movie that
0:31:53she is the one and only government
0:31:54official on all of that was that was
0:31:56extraordinary circumstances just so
0:31:58later is one the one time it matter it's
0:32:00so lazy for there to be a two-term limit
0:32:02in the Constitution wait i should point
0:32:05out there actually are other are there
0:32:07are other levers of power in the form of
0:32:09her various body doubles because they
0:32:12apparently you have shots they couldn't
0:32:13win there yet when they're the Queen
0:32:15that's good because apparently they're
0:32:17being asked to sacrifice themselves not
0:32:19for the hereditary ruler but just for
0:32:21the fourteen-year-old that was elected
0:32:23for her first term as Queen it's serving
0:32:26the duty of my planet all should have
0:32:28been in the Legislative youth program
0:32:30not the decoy youth program here we are
0:32:33talking about political science again
0:32:35what is this movie done to us
0:32:37so going back to going back to the
0:32:40relationship thing for a second
0:32:42the age discrepancy I don't notice so
0:32:45much in this film because they both look
0:32:47very young and it's kind of like okay
0:32:49whatever but watching this film 10 years
0:32:53later I don't think I realized just how
0:32:57freakishly creepy the first half of this
0:33:00movie is in terms of lines and like I
0:33:04don't know I mean I got AI mean I was
0:33:07watching this movie with Dan and Dan had
0:33:08to walk out of the room a couple times
0:33:10because I was yelling at the television
0:33:12and I'm not usually a person who's like
0:33:14oh god that's you know that's really
0:33:17disrespectful or that you know seems
0:33:19like an invasion of a woman space but
0:33:21like the first half of this movie is so
0:33:24creepy
0:33:26Anakin is such a creeper will always be
0:33:28that little boy to me
0:33:29imagines that thing just their creepier
0:33:32Jason well no but that's not the creepy
0:33:34part of the creepy part of the way he'll
0:33:35ears at her he is the creepiest low
0:33:38yeah you're leering smirk the she
0:33:41doesn't like me watching her and no
0:33:44it's so gross ya know this Merc the
0:33:47smirk is the worst part makes her skin
0:33:49crawl
0:33:50it's so creepy you're exactly the way i
0:33:53remember you in my dreams pocket also
0:33:56write as h goes in for a kiss she does
0:33:58not respond at all she's just staring
0:34:00into the distance
0:34:02well yeah but it's okay for him to be
0:34:04creeper like I like when I was watching
0:34:05twilight you know it's like it's ok if
0:34:07he wants to be creepy because he doesn't
0:34:08being a bad guy right
0:34:10maybe he's creepy but that the center of
0:34:11this movie is not so much that he's
0:34:13creepy and annoying which I guess hurts
0:34:14the movie if you wanted to be likable in
0:34:15anyway because he's terrifying but that
0:34:18the premise of this movie is that
0:34:20respond yeah he responds to that I can't
0:34:23imagine anything that Anakin said has me
0:34:25presents being attractive to any woman
0:34:27that ever and somehow because the script
0:34:31because the script says oh she responses
0:34:33like oh yes that's totally a turn-on
0:34:35are you kidding me a turn-on been dying
0:34:38a little each day since you came back
0:34:40really not like everything everything he
0:34:44does everything you know he whines about
0:34:45obi-wan he's just full of complaints
0:34:48seems like he's a loser he is an
0:34:50annoying leering creepy loser and if she
0:34:53taught him a lesson and laid him low and
0:34:55had him realized that that he ki he
0:34:57needed to treat her like a real person
0:34:59that would be an interesting
0:34:59relationship dynamic but no you're right
0:35:01John basically what the lesson learned
0:35:04here is be a totally creepy dude and
0:35:06never give up being creepy and
0:35:08eventually your creepiness will be
0:35:10properly interpreted as love will come
0:35:12around
0:35:12yeah listen I cannot count the number of
0:35:14times i've walked into a bar and shouted
0:35:16they're like animals and i slaughtered
0:35:18them like animals and totally got like
0:35:23five phone numbers right this let's go
0:35:25out let me talk to him the way you talk
0:35:27to a child at one point when he's
0:35:28whining about obi-wan pad me says them
0:35:30that must be frustrating for you which
0:35:32is how you talk to children to like sort
0:35:34of acknowledge their emotions into like
0:35:36you know that's she treats him like a
0:35:38child because the acts like a child and
0:35:40during this whole time she's totally
0:35:42flat but again if you follow the pace of
0:35:43the movie or like we're supposed to
0:35:45believe that she is falling in love with
0:35:46him it's like that the real howler lines
0:35:48at the end of this movie about how about
0:35:50how much in love they are like yeah that
0:35:53the number of scenes exist where they
0:35:54could theoretically have fallen in love
0:35:56it doesn't happen
0:35:57in those scenes but at a pace it out
0:35:59like what ya their fortunes I mean
0:36:01obviously they had time yeah they have
0:36:03the scene we're talking a senior playing
0:36:05a scene where they kiss and a scene
0:36:08where they're married but the characters
0:36:11don't fall in love during those see ya
0:36:13if they have taken out even some of the
0:36:15creepiness like there's that there's
0:36:18that conversation they have skipping
0:36:20ahead a little bit in the freighter when
0:36:21they're heading home to Naboo on you
0:36:23know unregistered transit and that scene
0:36:26could have been very sweet and been like
0:36:28oh this is a you know it's it's strange
0:36:31how far we've come in 10 years and
0:36:33instead know the last line of that scene
0:36:35is your exactly how i remember you in my
0:36:38dreams leering look Padme looks down at
0:36:41her hands saying oh lord what have I
0:36:43gotten myself into this guy is going to
0:36:45be protecting me but she supposed to be
0:36:47saying oh I'm overwhelmed by how much he
0:36:49loves me and I find that such a bit i'm
0:36:51attracted him incredibly no no you're
0:36:53not but yet that's how that's how she's
0:36:54supposed to be acting there that he's
0:36:56winning her over with this well Jason's
0:36:58point earlier i think what's interesting
0:36:59is there's there could have been an
0:37:01interesting dynamic again with this this
0:37:03woman who was put in charge of an entire
0:37:05you know planet when she was a small
0:37:06child she was probably not interacting
0:37:08with other like people her age like
0:37:11again you could have done something
0:37:12interesting with him or her being like
0:37:14well she's been kind of sheltered you
0:37:15know when she's maybe kind of damage
0:37:17because she's had to do all this stuff
0:37:18that's really beyond her years that but
0:37:21no we don't go that way that too
0:37:25emotionally damaged people and i would
0:37:27think she seems so worldly that she
0:37:29would issue has been everything that he
0:37:30has to offer that she would find
0:37:32interesting she ruled the planet she's a
0:37:33senator she's traveling from planet to
0:37:35planet he's like he's just been isolated
0:37:38from his entire family apparently just
0:37:39doing the Jedi thing or disputes hanging
0:37:42out with everyone and arpit he would not
0:37:44be interested in him in any way
0:37:47yes so here's the thing i wanted to also
0:37:49mention that's why I slowly try to drag
0:37:51this forward that will have more time to
0:37:54talk about this relationship I think as
0:37:56we go in the scene before they the
0:37:59centipede attack
0:38:01there's a video game ever is a
0:38:03conversation we're talking Jar Jar as
0:38:05president they're all company and and
0:38:07the thing that there's a fascinating
0:38:08little shot that i wanted to mention we
0:38:11pitches they have there's a pause in the
0:38:12conversation and they cut to charge our
0:38:14who sits there and doesn't do anything
0:38:16and it goes for a couple seconds for its
0:38:19charge are sitting there in their
0:38:20silence and then they cut away and it's
0:38:23just it's it's maybe the best shot in
0:38:25the movie because i have no idea where
0:38:27that shot is there other than hey its
0:38:30charge our doctors here
0:38:31the kid was charged are but it's not
0:38:33like that with dialogue it's just silent
0:38:35of Jar Jar like and there throughout
0:38:38this movie there are some things that
0:38:39seemed kind of questionable in terms of
0:38:41just the competence of editing and
0:38:42directing movie where they're cut away
0:38:44so I'm like why is that cutaway there
0:38:46but the charger moment is the best
0:38:48alright time for our second sponsor
0:38:50break it's returning sponsor its new
0:38:53relic new relic is a software analytics
0:38:57company that helps make sense of
0:38:58billions of metrics across millions of
0:39:01applications and all in real time as you
0:39:05may have heard its 2014 now wake up its
0:39:082014 it's not the nineties anymore
0:39:11one thing people are really focused on
0:39:12this year seamless application
0:39:14performance across multiple platforms on
0:39:17all of their devices now that sounds
0:39:20simple actually that sounds really hard
0:39:22making an appt work consistently well on
0:39:25lots of different devices all with
0:39:27different operating systems running
0:39:29totally different types of software is
0:39:31super complicated back in the old days
0:39:33let's say 2007 it was basically
0:39:36impossible for an app developer to know
0:39:38his or her appt was performing once we
0:39:41ship the production it was a mystery
0:39:43remember those days we spent a lot of
0:39:45time there be bug hunts eventually just
0:39:49close your eyes you sweating
0:39:51cross your fingers and hope for the best
0:39:54see what happens when regular people use
0:39:56my app then you sit around monitoring
0:39:58Twitter the app stores looking for
0:40:01reviews looking for complaints hoping
0:40:04that the apps are performing and
0:40:06dreading that they're not performing who
0:40:09quite a story scary story there but
0:40:12those days are behind us
0:40:14New Relic lets you track your
0:40:15application performance down to the end
0:40:17user level and it's all in real time
0:40:20that means you can spot problems find
0:40:22bugs and fix car
0:40:24good fast way before users even notice
0:40:27that anything has gone wrong
0:40:29really great not a scary story anymore
0:40:32go check out new relic visit New Relic
0:40:34dot-com / incomparable to learn more and
0:40:39use the offer code incomparable
0:40:41easy-to-remember that's the podcast
0:40:42you're listening to right now take
0:40:44advantage of this special 30-day
0:40:46extended free pro trial available
0:40:49exclusively to all the listeners of the
0:40:52incomparable so if you're an app
0:40:53developer check out new relic you owe it
0:40:55to yourself
0:40:56New Relic dot-com / and comparable and
0:40:59thanks to New Relic for sponsoring the
0:41:00podcast ok centipede attack
0:41:03r2d2 is a terrible security would i have
0:41:06i have those exact words in my notes he
0:41:08is the worst security system ever mean
0:41:10to think about what happens in this room
0:41:12bright lights noise objects falling from
0:41:15the ceiling to the ground he can detect
0:41:17none of these things a toddler in the
0:41:19room would turn his toddler head towards
0:41:21the emotion and the noise and light
0:41:23aren't you nothing that doesn't even
0:41:25notice he's in sleep mode
0:41:26I don't know that he's worse than the
0:41:28two Jedi in the next room who are
0:41:30bickering well their target while
0:41:32they're like it but you're Jenny's Magic
0:41:34Man her right that should I they're Jedi
0:41:37come on your you didn't send two
0:41:39Schmucks to cart but they say he's a
0:41:41computer with sensors and rockets and
0:41:44stuff and yet I think the idea is that
0:41:46is he fell asleep or something or that
0:41:48because they didn't break the little
0:41:49beams he's admitting just look around
0:41:51it's the only thing moving with bright
0:41:53lights in the entire room how can you
0:41:55not know I mean the giant to their
0:41:56credit even though they're not in the
0:41:57room sense the danger eventually and
0:41:59jump in and killed the little worm
0:42:01things but there are two is fired wait
0:42:03okay wait I have to take issue with the
0:42:04way they kill them because when you have
0:42:06force powers you could just throw things
0:42:08against the wall instead you're gonna
0:42:09use a lightsaber and carefully choose
0:42:11from someone's face to slice it out of
0:42:13her hair was just trying to show off
0:42:15like that that if you're trying to look
0:42:16for some way the mannequin could do
0:42:17something that could conceivably be
0:42:19impressive maybe you could say
0:42:21demonstrating his jedi skillz x like
0:42:23floating stupid Paras around and stuff
0:42:25maybe that could be impressive to like a
0:42:27in a teenage girl who she's set up at
0:42:29the wrong home this story ends wait to
0:42:31see it but in a better way I think yeah
0:42:34we just put on a robot head i'm curious
0:42:36as to why it takes them Intel the
0:42:38centipedes are actually crawling into
0:42:40her hair to to sense it
0:42:42I sense it too for drawing Steve drama
0:42:45since 8th grade five seconds ago
0:42:47yeah but they're still pickering when he
0:42:48senses it suddenly the answer to every
0:42:50question you have steve is because it's
0:42:52in the script they sense that r2d2 was
0:42:54beeping his sleep cycle instead of being
0:42:56awake that's what they said it when they
0:42:58have Palpatine send Anakin to get pad me
0:43:02like the property is trying to do these
0:43:03things look at the puppet master he's
0:43:04gonna send this guy to get that guy talk
0:43:06to this guy and ask her about that and
0:43:08you're like it seems like oh it's this
0:43:10amazing plan is coming together but the
0:43:11only reason any of these things work
0:43:13like Palpatine's his little plan to send
0:43:17people to various places and he knows
0:43:18that person is going to be sent to
0:43:19protect her and stuff is because the
0:43:21script says so like that you couldn't
0:43:23set off I if I send obi-wan to protect
0:43:26her the Nobel on the Jedi people who
0:43:27decide to Nana can protect her then and
0:43:29we'll get together with her because I
0:43:30know the next movie like if you follow
0:43:32the steps backwards
0:43:34there's no expectation that they would
0:43:35have come out this way and the only
0:43:36reason i do is like the handset because
0:43:38the script said they should i am glad to
0:43:40see that there's a strong market for
0:43:41robots that their sole purpose is to
0:43:44dissolve holes in windows and then
0:43:46delivered the contents of a tube through
0:43:47them heroes its sole purpose for other
0:43:51things too it's it's I think that's a
0:43:52multitasking delivers death stare like
0:43:54r2d2 has like five functions including
0:43:58rockets
0:43:59yeah and apparently sleeping through
0:44:00guard duty is one of the so 100 be one
0:44:02in a as proving he's a man of action
0:44:05leaps out of the window into the open
0:44:09space grabs ahold of the of the after
0:44:12incidentally just spending the whole
0:44:13night lecturing Anakin on how they're
0:44:15just there to protect Padme yeah so he
0:44:17he obviously was convinced and he jumped
0:44:20out and then we get to see one year
0:44:22after mark monsters inc was released we
0:44:24get to see a replay of the door scene 4
0:44:26monsters as he dangles from a thing and
0:44:30swings around in a large space and goes
0:44:31whoa does not get my car and exactly
0:44:35does never gets hit by car there's never
0:44:36anything but I was struck by how much it
0:44:38was like the door scene and monsters
0:44:39incorporated and then there's this penny
0:44:42ends up in a speeder chase this is all
0:44:44happening three-dimensional
0:44:46and there's cars everywhere and there's
0:44:48a whole chase happening and the notes i
0:44:49have here is it all seems really slow
0:44:53there's no wind that they completely
0:44:55lose the guy and then somehow are like
0:44:57he's over there and pick up the chase
0:44:59again which makes no sense at all
0:45:01there's a shortcut
0:45:02even though they're traveling in
0:45:03completely unfettered three-dimensional
0:45:05space
0:45:06yes there's a shortcut that leaves them
0:45:07several hundred feet higher and like a
0:45:11minute ahead
0:45:12so that's a really good shortcut i would
0:45:14like to complain about a line of
0:45:15dialogue here which was meant to be a
0:45:18light-hearted and airy and quippy it's
0:45:21when Anakin says oh you know master i
0:45:24couldn't find a speeder i really liked
0:45:26yeah I have to blame the director or
0:45:30somebody for not saying that line didn't
0:45:32work at all
0:45:33let's just cut it once more for safety
0:45:36please
0:45:36Hayden ya know that the director is the
0:45:39writer so you know he doesn't like
0:45:41anything claimed go ahead but like its
0:45:42it goes back to John's point about the
0:45:44first movie right
0:45:45this is the take they took you know
0:45:47George Lucas on it takes like nothing's
0:45:49gonna get me another one that's good
0:45:50let's use that one boy when it was a
0:45:52moment when the flying car because I
0:45:54mean guys course on City a planet that's
0:45:57just a city it's got layers of traffic
0:45:59you've got this so it's a super
0:46:00futuristic thing and you gotta chase
0:46:03scene and you've got a car that's like a
0:46:05hot rod flying car and and you need to
0:46:08go down a bunch of levels recklessly and
0:46:10so you're gonna you're just gonna go out
0:46:11of lanes of traffic and shoot down and
0:46:13you cut to the people who are doing it
0:46:14and it's like they're going through a
0:46:16tollbooth there's no wind
0:46:18there's no excitement it's like it's
0:46:21like dad let's me drive in the driveway
0:46:23on Sundays it's just I a blew me away
0:46:25that this is theoretically this should
0:46:27be very exciting and it wasn't exciting
0:46:29at all
0:46:29well they reflect the level of
0:46:30excitement that that I had and watching
0:46:32this is a better version of the scene go
0:46:34to start or is it is no way this is this
0:46:36is the problem that i have with
0:46:37remembering anything in this movie and
0:46:39and this is just one of maybe like 10
0:46:42different sequences that are just pure
0:46:44action and its really it's because the
0:46:46movie is just basically a bunch of video
0:46:47game levels and they're strung together
0:46:50with really terrible cutscenes but like
0:46:52ninety percent of it is just crazy video
0:46:55game stuff flies around and goes boom
0:46:57and it just totally fails to make any
0:46:58sort of lasting
0:46:59pression mean there's even a conveyor
0:47:01belt season scene which is something
0:47:03that's been a videogame clichéd since
0:47:04before some of you were born
0:47:06there's no sense of any mass with this
0:47:08ship or like when somebody's eyes to
0:47:11jump out of the ship and plummet 500
0:47:13miles and get caught again there's no
0:47:17danger to them why should there be
0:47:18danger to me the audience you know
0:47:21there's no feeling of even physics here
0:47:22that was a problem in the first movie to
0:47:24is yeah there was just no sense that
0:47:26anything bad could potentially even
0:47:27happen to these characters so what's the
0:47:29point yeah there's another issue I have
0:47:32with all these these scenes too and
0:47:33that's that so much of this chase in
0:47:35particular but it happens throughout the
0:47:37movie it's it's focused on showing us
0:47:39the cool fake buildings of khorasan and
0:47:42the chase its I mean like will be
0:47:44zooming in on some neon colored color
0:47:46book covered building for several
0:47:48seconds and then after we've been
0:47:50looking at that for a while you know
0:47:52maybe the bounty hunter will run to view
0:47:53of the top right corner but it's just
0:47:56we're forced to stare at these set
0:47:58pieces and the chase is just totally
0:48:00incidental i also don't after the
0:48:03shortcut he there's this really dramatic
0:48:06scene where he he's figured out how he
0:48:09could get her because because they took
0:48:11the shortcut and he jumps out and jumps
0:48:14out of the car and falls all the way
0:48:16down to her and it's perfectly timed you
0:48:17never get any sense that he's been
0:48:19timing it or that he knows where it is
0:48:20it does even I like I get the point of
0:48:24of it happening and yet it isn't set up
0:48:27properly so when it happens it's sort of
0:48:28like what how did that happen and then
0:48:31he he lands also i guess when they're on
0:48:34the ground they say that that that the
0:48:36bounty hunter is probably a changeling
0:48:38so there's your star trek cross over
0:48:40there Dan like odo yeah I appreciate
0:48:42that
0:48:43well did it which makes no sense at all
0:48:45because there's like one scene when
0:48:46she's driving the ship where you see
0:48:48you're like her face flickr slightly and
0:48:50then when she dies she turns into going
0:48:52to her natural floor why didn't you just
0:48:54stay in the natural form the whole time
0:48:56as aliens all over this planet
0:48:57why don't you just turn into any other
0:48:59form and walk away like that she has her
0:49:01little cloth mouth covering which
0:49:03chicken
0:49:04yeah protects her fake identity great
0:49:06it's definitely take that off in the
0:49:08middle of flying around why not wait
0:49:10until you've gotten lost
0:49:12obviously she thinks it's very effective
0:49:13because you kinda looks around behind
0:49:15her like she's making sure no one's
0:49:16looking before she takes it off her
0:49:17mouth
0:49:18I don't know there's just yet there's so
0:49:20much wrong with the scene in addition
0:49:21just the whole like the resolution of
0:49:23the scene with the we think the assassin
0:49:25was hired by a bounty hunter like how
0:49:27many layers of contracting are going on
0:49:29here
0:49:30you're a bounty hunter you don't need to
0:49:31hire an assassin to do this but because
0:49:34they keep increasing and competence look
0:49:36again when they try to blow off the you
0:49:37know the senator when she lands she's
0:49:39there you could just picture off with
0:49:40the sniper rifle like any of these
0:49:41people could be killed at any time by a
0:49:43twentieth-century sniper on this planet
0:49:45who just wanders around the battlefield
0:49:47and yet but with all the advanced
0:49:49technology like the best way to kill her
0:49:51is with worms can we get some worms into
0:49:53her room at the poison dart shot it
0:49:56wanted like you have a mile away by the
0:49:57master ground should pad me with that
0:50:00done and done
0:50:01where's Padme during this whole chase if
0:50:04he could just kill people as well as he
0:50:05commanded subcontractors he'll be fine
0:50:07he just hired two Assassin's the first
0:50:08assassin gets all the bodyguards chasing
0:50:10them halfway across chorus on the other
0:50:12one just has to get through george r and
0:50:15the in the handmaiden
0:50:16I do like the fact that when the poison
0:50:18dart get shot at the bounty hunter
0:50:19obi-wan takes the opportunity to pull it
0:50:22out look at it and say toxic Dart
0:50:24thanks thanks Toby you are ok you just
0:50:28skipped past what I think is the dumbest
0:50:30thing in all of Star Wars is the
0:50:33death-sticks it's the bar name of the
0:50:35person who set who is trying to sell
0:50:37death-sticks it's Elian sleazebag o Neal
0:50:40I'm a sleazebag know because he is a
0:50:44sleazebag that it actually manages to
0:50:48top Count Dooku that's pretty good
0:50:49aliens sleazebag no yes route bag and
0:50:52although i think if you look carefully
0:50:54in the in that bar scene you can see
0:50:55both anthony daniels and Ahmed best two
0:50:58plays Jar Jar as well as is and you can
0:51:00see Lucas's Lucas's daughter's in there
0:51:02twice i think they give her two shots on
0:51:04camera
0:51:04I just assume all of the younglings
0:51:07later on our Lucas's kids it's got
0:51:09Mykelti will appreciate this wherever he
0:51:11is it reminded me of the bar scene in
0:51:13Star Trek 3 which is an attempt to
0:51:16create an energy future bar scene like
0:51:19in Blade Runner maybe even the original
0:51:21star wars but in fact it is not that
0:51:24interesting and seems kind of corny and
0:51:27this reminded me of that
0:51:28yeah but there's a lot of blade runner
0:51:29esque imagery with neon lights and I'm
0:51:31surprised that people with umbrellas
0:51:33plateau panels but they came they don't
0:51:35mind right up to that line and so that
0:51:36you know that the most Eisley cantina
0:51:37reflections with like obi-wan cutting
0:51:40off someone's arm and the whole idea i
0:51:42give that like at least at least that
0:51:45that type of thing having only one in a
0:51:47bar and cutting off someone's arm at
0:51:48least that doesn't involve dialogue so
0:51:50we're spared their spirits one aspect of
0:51:52the terror that is this movie were
0:51:54spared a line if you're going like this
0:51:55will probably come up again someday
0:51:57so much of this movie is just mindless
0:51:59callbacks you'll be the death of me haha
0:52:03i did they tried to the scene where like
0:52:05they show that the assassin creeping up
0:52:07and you they try to make you think he's
0:52:08creeping up and can instead of creeping
0:52:09up and we want but like it's done so
0:52:12badly like that cliché just events
0:52:14there either way you don't get someone's
0:52:16creeping up to a door but it's not the
0:52:17door you think it is and he opens the
0:52:19door and you realize it you know that
0:52:20whole cliché I were talking about it
0:52:23Jason mentioned bad editing like it's
0:52:24just not competently done nevermind that
0:52:26we don't care about these people and we
0:52:27know how it's going to turn out there's
0:52:28no actual attention
0:52:29it's just not done well well it's weird
0:52:31too because it's one of the few we were
0:52:32pointing out watching it that it's one
0:52:34of the few first person camera shots in
0:52:37Star Wars if there are any at all like
0:52:39you get a perspective shot from Anakin
0:52:41as he's walking through the bar and you
0:52:43get these wacky sort of moving close ups
0:52:45which feel very unstar Wars like because
0:52:49we don't see that kind of camera work
0:52:50anywhere else it's very odd now in the
0:52:53bar scene we do get a nice window into
0:52:55the importance of the master to Padawan
0:52:57a relationship when Anakin tells ob1
0:53:01that he thinks that this this person
0:53:03they're chasing maybe a shape-shifter
0:53:04and the solid Jedi Master advice it gets
0:53:07back is be extra careful that's just
0:53:10good writing again
0:53:11ob1 thanks a lot man that's what my mom
0:53:13says every time I hang up the phone with
0:53:15her
0:53:15be careful that's huge it did quite
0:53:17gotten tell you
0:53:18that is that how you get that's how we
0:53:19learn that no see I'm willing to give up
0:53:21we won the benefit of the doubt here and
0:53:23so like yea alright be extra careful
0:53:24then I don't know I feel I end up
0:53:26feeling bad for obi-wan most last movie
0:53:28he was just a whiny annoying pain but
0:53:30now
0:53:30Anakin has grown into that role and most
0:53:32of the time I feel pretty bad for
0:53:34everyone especially later on when he's
0:53:36talking about like you know mace windu
0:53:39and you're like yet and Anakin to do
0:53:41this thing is like guys he is not ready
0:53:43for that they're like nope sorry we're
0:53:45sending him to do this thing and I'm
0:53:46like wow so really wasn't will be once
0:53:48no yeah i'm always looking for like any
0:53:51sympathetic characters movie and we want
0:53:52is the closest to being sympathetic I
0:53:54think what you want a greater comes the
0:53:55closest to rising above the material the
0:53:58situations and everything else involved
0:54:00in this movie and trying to make a
0:54:01character that you perhaps have some
0:54:03pity for if only pity that he has to be
0:54:05in this movie at least he's now
0:54:07graduated from the Padawan rat tail
0:54:09yes admittedly it's to the full fledge
0:54:11force mullet but at least he doesn't
0:54:13have to carry that braid right hey that
0:54:15is in honor of qui-gon jinn ok let's
0:54:18pause for a moment you know there comes
0:54:19a time in every podcast life where it
0:54:22finally becomes a man and that is when
0:54:25you're finally sponsored by squarespace
0:54:29at times company and comfortable
0:54:31this episode is brought to you by
0:54:33Squarespace the all-in-one platform that
0:54:36makes it fast and easy to create your
0:54:38own professional website or online
0:54:40portfolio for a free trial and ten
0:54:42percent off you go to squarespace.com
0:54:43and use the offer code Jason hey that's
0:54:47my name
0:54:48what a perfect offer code I've never
0:54:50been an offer code before look
0:54:52Squarespace makes it easy for you to
0:54:54create websites that are beautiful and
0:54:57functional and with great support their
0:55:00always improving their platform with new
0:55:02features new designs support keeps
0:55:05getting better and better
0:55:06they have these beautiful award-winning
0:55:07designs to start with lots of style
0:55:10options and you can create a unique
0:55:12website you can customize it as much as
0:55:14you want there are more than 20 highly
0:55:16customizable templates to choose from
0:55:18incredibly easy to use and twenty four
0:55:21seven support over 70 Squarespace
0:55:24employees are on the customer care team
0:55:26it's based in New York City they call
0:55:28their office the carebear layer i don't
0:55:30know if there are actual Care Bears
0:55:32there i don't know if the support people
0:55:33there are dressed up as bears you could
0:55:36ask if you need support and now this is
0:55:38new every Squarespace plan supports
0:55:41commerce functionality literally every
0:55:44Squarespace customer can now start
0:55:47selling products online now depending
0:55:50which plan you're on the functionality
0:55:51may differ a little bit but every
0:55:52Squarespace customer can sell products
0:55:54online checkout Squarespace is blog for
0:55:57more information but very cool addition
0:55:59how much does it cost for this great
0:56:02service eight dollars a month that's it
0:56:04starts at eight dollars a month and that
0:56:06includes a free domain name if you sign
0:56:09up for a year of service every design
0:56:11automatically includes a unique mobile
0:56:13experience that matches the style of
0:56:14your website so if you've got users on
0:56:17cell phones which boy there are a lot of
0:56:19those these days your content will look
0:56:21great there to it won't look like some
0:56:22kind of bogus afterthought it will look
0:56:24just as beautiful as your full desktop
0:56:26experience so start a trial with
0:56:29squarespace you it's a real free trial
0:56:31you don't need a credit card and start
0:56:33building your website today when you
0:56:34finally decide to sign up use the offer
0:56:37code Jason and get ten percent off and
0:56:40show your support for the uncomfortable
0:56:42thank you so much to squarespace for
0:56:44making this podcast truly a podcast
0:56:47we're gonna do apartments for later and
0:56:49for their support of the uncomfortable
0:56:51Squarespace everything you need to
0:56:53create an exceptional website
0:56:56great can we do it briefly the diner
0:56:58scene i have one note about that with
0:56:59the totally superfluous fifties diner
0:57:02Lucas loves 250 remember we're not we're
0:57:04not up to the diner scene yet
0:57:06that's right after the the toxic Dart so
0:57:08they go back they go back to Amidala and
0:57:11then they had they have a they have a
0:57:12check in with the as another
0:57:16interminable see more people sit on
0:57:17couches lockwell so i wanted to mention
0:57:19that i actually took notes on this part
0:57:20so I'm get by gum I'm gonna get them out
0:57:22because they referred Amidala as the
0:57:23leader of the Opposition at one point
0:57:25which I am completely baffled by because
0:57:28now we've got layers within layers in
0:57:29the Imperial Senate what is she opposing
0:57:31she isshe opposing the separatists is
0:57:33she opposing Palpatine it doesn't look
0:57:35like it because she's got meetings with
0:57:36him
0:57:37what is she she had is she like in the
0:57:39blue political party and there's also a
0:57:42red political party and but there are
0:57:44around
0:57:45event because then there's separatists I
0:57:47don't understand why she's the leader of
0:57:49anything let alone an opposition that I
0:57:51don't understand from what I can
0:57:53understand and i'm basing this entirely
0:57:56off of the crawl and the little i read
0:57:58off Wikipedia Wikipedia it's the the
0:58:02bill that they talked about that's been
0:58:04voted on and committee for the last two
0:58:06years that she's flown to correspond to
0:58:09vote on that we hear about once in the
0:58:11crawl and then never again besides that
0:58:14she's the leader of the Opposition for
0:58:16this bill I guess that's why they're
0:58:17trying to kill her
0:58:18well yeah the bill itself i think has to
0:58:21do with creating a standing army and
0:58:23she's opposed to that which is hilarious
0:58:26because the clones end up you know
0:58:28that's why they talk they talked when
0:58:30she's out of the picture they can talk
0:58:31to charger into it which is part of the
0:58:32plot I just know it when you've got an
0:58:34opposition and you've also got a
0:58:36rebellion essentially the separatists it
0:58:38gets really confusing to throw these
0:58:40political terms around and and again but
0:58:42sometimes people to find these movies
0:58:43and say these movies for kids so with
0:58:45these movies for kids it's really too
0:58:47damn confusing because i have no idea
0:58:49what's going on here in terms of the
0:58:51politics at all my other notes here by
0:58:53the way are we get some really good
0:58:55crazy Amidala hair here which is very
0:58:57clearly like see this is where her
0:58:59daughter got it
0:59:00this is where the crazy hairstyles come
0:59:01from and i'm also in this seemed
0:59:04everybody keeps referring to how great
0:59:07Anakin is which i find fascinating
0:59:08because I up on the screen and he
0:59:10doesn't seem like he's that great at all
0:59:11and and that and that while they're
0:59:14playing him like he's somebody who's got
0:59:15this dark side who's going to come out
0:59:17that's always the kind of dream of the
0:59:19the star wars backstory is he always had
0:59:21this undercurrent in it it went horribly
0:59:23wrong
0:59:23I can't read them as anything other than
0:59:25just kind of a spoiled brat who doesn't
0:59:26like it when he doesn't get what he
0:59:27wants which is you know spoiled brat who
0:59:30becomes evil monster is not as exciting
0:59:32or interesting as person with a good
0:59:35core and a dark side that gets exploited
0:59:37but that's how I feel about it is that
0:59:40he just comes across as like a spoiled
0:59:41oh yeah
0:59:42don't look at me like that it makes me
0:59:43feel uncomfortable he could not find a
0:59:45speeder like okay okay i'll keep the
0:59:47leering at you and drooling this is the
0:59:49point that i wrote in my notes in your
0:59:50pre prequel Star Wars related daydreams
0:59:53when you wonder what Anakin Skywalker
0:59:54was like man
0:59:55especially that little wider even on
0:59:58your radar man
0:59:58your radar man
1:00:00I'm pretty sure it was a creepy stalker
1:00:02was definitely not on my radar it is
1:00:04really unloading a lot of crap about
1:00:06obi-wan padmé here
1:00:08yeah well especially after he keeps
1:00:09repeatedly telling everyone that you're
1:00:11like a father to me like again it's no
1:00:14more plausible in so it that that
1:00:16relationship is no more plausible than
1:00:18the relationship between human pod may
1:00:19really you know he says you're like a
1:00:22father me and yeah okay there's a little
1:00:23bit of that like oh I'm having gone
1:00:25through my teenage rebellion phase but I
1:00:27don't know I just I just don't buy it
1:00:29they don't sound like it
1:00:31you can't just yell so you can't just
1:00:32say that you're like yeah exactly
1:00:34show me this is like apologizing nothing
1:00:36on my way shows that stop telling me
1:00:38start doing something I do think it's
1:00:40interesting that that scene that you're
1:00:42like a father to me scene comes
1:00:44immediately before he goes and meets
1:00:46with Palpatine and Palpatine's like oh
1:00:48so you're really giving you your real
1:00:51position congratulations would be son
1:00:54haha me go
1:00:57haha don't mind this hood back here I've
1:00:59don't have it for any particular reason
1:01:00to style the hoodie they all the kids
1:01:03with me and mcdermott also putting in
1:01:06you know giving a game attempt to
1:01:08continue his role as Palpatine here if
1:01:10the only one who has a sensible
1:01:12character arc where he was the galaxy
1:01:15and many tries to do things to rule the
1:01:17galaxy aided by the ridiculous script
1:01:19that make all these plans come to
1:01:20fruition without any real effort on his
1:01:22part but it's clear what his motivation
1:01:24is is clearly is a bad guy so he's got a
1:01:27leg up on almost everyone else in this
1:01:28movie
1:01:29yeah i mean dan and I were talking about
1:01:31this what we were watching the end of
1:01:32the movie and if Palpatine's real goal
1:01:35is to play two sides against the other
1:01:37it would have been a lot cooler to
1:01:39actually see a lot more of his
1:01:41machinations in this film and in the
1:01:44prior film and really make it be like
1:01:46Anakin may have had some dark side in
1:01:48him but here is the man who basically
1:01:51corrupted him and destroyed his life
1:01:53while also kind of destroying the entire
1:01:56Republic like that's an interesting
1:01:58story right
1:02:00you'd have to come up with a plausible
1:02:01scenario for him to turn evil which they
1:02:03as we find out in third movie they never
1:02:05they never I never I never buy any can I
1:02:08never buy in turning evil one reason for
1:02:10Anakin to like start off as a sweet
1:02:11little boy
1:02:12I and somehow because you know they they
1:02:15never come up with any reason for him to
1:02:17be evil you sure he's whiny and creepy
1:02:19but like happy and because Darth Vader
1:02:22is not Leary he dark there has dignity
1:02:25Anakin has no dignity and how do you go
1:02:26like this no there's no path is no
1:02:28connecting between A&B it's just like he
1:02:30swept along by the script in a certain
1:02:32point they put him in the mask name
1:02:33anyway that's it so facile is the thing
1:02:35with the whole like when he had the
1:02:37political discussion with Padma about
1:02:39like someone should be in charge just
1:02:41tell everyone what to do
1:02:43yeah maybe not me but someone John I
1:02:45don't really believe that little bit and
1:02:50that person would decide what to do and
1:02:52that would work very well is it like why
1:02:54would she even like again this is
1:02:56supposed to be attractive who having a
1:02:57political discussions the politics right
1:02:59she's been a senator she's ruled the
1:03:01planet he must seem like the dumbest
1:03:03most night you wearing creepy
1:03:05uninteresting like they're there should
1:03:07be no attraction between these people
1:03:08and yet on the other hand the extent of
1:03:11her political savvy is to put jar jar
1:03:14and charged in our stead
1:03:16so he's newly elected representatives to
1:03:19maybe she didn't really put a whole lot
1:03:20of thought into this
1:03:22the I think some of the core problems
1:03:24with Emma can stem from and with with
1:03:27Palpatine stem from two decisions made
1:03:29in the first movie which we talked about
1:03:31a little bit which is one probably
1:03:33having a meeting
1:03:34Anakin Skywalker as a little kid is part
1:03:37of the problem because it forced them to
1:03:39read connell sorts of things about when
1:03:40i met your father he was a great pilot
1:03:42and things like that so he's a kid pilot
1:03:44ok I i think that was a mistake and if
1:03:46we had met him a little bit later
1:03:47probably would have made more sense in
1:03:48that story arc might have that I you
1:03:51know it's harmed by the faculty meeting
1:03:53as a little kid and then the other thing
1:03:54is this decision to make
1:03:55Palpatine's rise and his evilness sort
1:03:57of like secret which I guess the idea
1:04:00there as well it's going to be a real
1:04:01twist when you realize he's the bad guy
1:04:03but you know that's it's not and you
1:04:07miss you miss actually seeing him
1:04:10pulling the strings behind the scenes
1:04:11more overtly because we still can tell
1:04:14that it's him but yet he's sidelined it
1:04:17makes it maybe I look even more
1:04:18incompetent because it's likely we spent
1:04:20the first movie fine pretend pretend you
1:04:22didn't know until the end of the first
1:04:23movie the second movie everybody knows
1:04:24everybody knows accepted
1:04:26nice the giant just look stupid and
1:04:28incompetent and not because they're like
1:04:29decadent lazy like that's the story they
1:04:31want to tell they want to snuggle the
1:04:33Jedi had become you know that they had
1:04:35lost their their way or whatever on the
1:04:37dark side is clouding their jobs they've
1:04:39stopped doing lightsaber battles they've
1:04:41been sucked into trade negotiations they
1:04:43just come off a stupid instead like
1:04:44that's that there is a better movie in
1:04:46there you could say about how you know
1:04:48this was the decadent world and the Jedi
1:04:49have lost lost their vision of what
1:04:51they're supposed to be doing but instead
1:04:53you see a bunch of sort of incompetent
1:04:56sort of timid not very smart not very
1:04:59powerful Jedi making bad decisions that
1:05:01it's not because they're decadent or
1:05:02because there's some kind of you know
1:05:04that they've been blinded by their own
1:05:06arrogance none of that is there they're
1:05:07just kinda like Kobe door stupid
1:05:09yeah you are you deserved it three
1:05:11killed off there's an early line for
1:05:13mace windu where he says Dooku was once
1:05:15a Jedi he couldn't assassinate anyone
1:05:17that's not how foolish you are but so is
1:05:22turning to the darkside not a thing yet
1:05:23I mean I haven't read a whole lot of the
1:05:25extended universe talk about this if in
1:05:29episode one
1:05:30yeah but they don't explain why he'd let
1:05:32him like how do you become a former Jedi
1:05:34yeah he retired he retires disappeared
1:05:38test no he's known because he's a leader
1:05:40of the separatists we formed attachments
1:05:42and that's really the problem after the
1:05:47first movie when they established Anakin
1:05:49has more or less lovable well-adjusted
1:05:51nice little kid who happens to be a
1:05:54slave and let's not do really talked
1:05:55about that once you've started him off
1:05:57on that foot it's very difficult to get
1:06:00him into a position where he becomes
1:06:02Darth Vader if you had started them off
1:06:04as like a street kid who is the member
1:06:06of like a street gang and had to live
1:06:08you know a tough life and learn that
1:06:10might equals right like 30 it's it's so
1:06:13very difficult no matter what happens
1:06:15fine you use someone cheats on you think
1:06:17all the Jedi betrayed you were ever to
1:06:18extend that into ok well now i have to
1:06:20kill all the Jedi an entire galaxy you
1:06:22have to be like mad with power power
1:06:24crazy you have to believe that power is
1:06:26the only thing that's important you know
1:06:27what you have to do I don't want to get
1:06:30too much into episode three things but
1:06:31once you start off as a cute little kid
1:06:34it's super hard to get him into darth
1:06:36vader and they don't even really make an
1:06:38attempt at it
1:06:38this movie that is making wine and they
1:06:40say well if you take whiny and write
1:06:43raise it to a large exponential power
1:06:45equals darth vader and it doesn't we
1:06:47know the Darth Vader was the whiniest of
1:06:49all the villains yeah if you raise the
1:06:51large power just as more whining this is
1:06:53the problem i have with Anakin in this
1:06:55movie is that we've been told throughout
1:06:57the first trilogy that you know he he
1:06:59was heroic
1:07:00yes and so you expect to see somewhere
1:07:02along the course of this film him
1:07:04perform some sort of heroic deed or act
1:07:06in a heroic fashion and he doesn't he's
1:07:08basically a knob from start to finish
1:07:11no he doesn't do anything he does very
1:07:13little of any agency whatsoever i mean
1:07:14even if you if you add in the last movie
1:07:16his heroic action there was accidentally
1:07:20point out the spit shipwright like in
1:07:22terms of episode two
1:07:23there's not much that he does in here
1:07:25that is active period
1:07:28other than the other than the fight
1:07:29scenes yeah he jumps off of a a speeder
1:07:32the accidental jetta even the fight
1:07:35scenes are always fight scenes where
1:07:36other people are like anakin no don't
1:07:38know
1:07:39ok he just got thrown against a wall he
1:07:41killed all those sand people what else
1:07:43you want from him kill some sandpaper I
1:07:44killed them all the travel by refugee
1:07:47transport we never see that we covered
1:07:48that earlier than we do see them we do
1:07:50see them in there briefly in their
1:07:52travel by refugee and as usual Padma is
1:07:55wearing some kind of shiny copper
1:07:57headpiece weird hair stuff yes which is
1:07:59exactly what you expect to see on
1:08:01refugees certainly not a senator or a
1:08:04queen definitely not to be drawn
1:08:05attention to refugees love that stuff
1:08:08also would anybody who is not a Padawan
1:08:11where a rat tail by choice in this
1:08:13universe that's a good point to yet we
1:08:15know she knows how to dress down she did
1:08:17it all through the first movie that's
1:08:19right at least Anakin he sort of looks
1:08:21the part he's got like his his his Jedi
1:08:24poncho on it looks like you just woke up
1:08:27in the gutter outside of the space
1:08:29peanuts and beer and he could be a
1:08:31refugee apart from the rat tail but
1:08:33padme's got her usual 50 pounds of junk
1:08:37in her hair and it's just absurd you
1:08:39think she's slumming you can we talk
1:08:41about the droid racism that seems
1:08:43rampant in these movies and we aren't
1:08:46you just once they go up and pick up
1:08:48some food now it is just wants to pick
1:08:51up some
1:08:51food from like like maybe the bar you
1:08:53don't want droids because like that's a
1:08:55particular environment but he just wants
1:08:57to go get food and bring it back to them
1:08:58and the droid who's serving was gotta
1:09:00give him enough no no get out of here no
1:09:02droid seat
1:09:03let's pick up the food i mean the joint
1:09:05can't even heat right like that's the
1:09:07worst part is like I'm not going to eat
1:09:08them myself
1:09:09you can I am a droid who understands
1:09:12they do the unconscionable in and the
1:09:14lead-up to this scene they kind of bag
1:09:16on r2 they're walking towards the ship
1:09:18and they're talking about how they're
1:09:19scared and the responses at least we
1:09:21have our two haha yeah these are the
1:09:24jokes folks no seriously at least we
1:09:26have our two is like the most heroic
1:09:27character that we have in this entire
1:09:29movie thank God
1:09:30well that's like me saying at least I
1:09:31have my gps unit in my car I mean by GPS
1:09:35unit can fly it has lasers but it's
1:09:37still basically just something to move
1:09:40my car around right you gps stands a
1:09:42better chance of protecting you in a
1:09:44dark room from space enemies another
1:09:45girl sweet
1:09:46this is true and then here we are it's
1:09:49the alien diner where where we meet the
1:09:51weird diner alien who knows everything
1:09:53there is to know about darts
1:09:56oh yeah let's buy the OneNote having the
1:09:58scene because again the writing i was
1:10:00doing is right now things is he says the
1:10:02word clear no nurs clutter is like
1:10:04cloning those clients fellas pretty good
1:10:07one likes to get it like it suddenly
1:10:09turns into dora like you have to repeat
1:10:11the same word that Cano's the best
1:10:13cloners the clone a club we get it there
1:10:16could we understand it's the title of
1:10:18the movie like I don't understand what
1:10:19that scene was there i don't understand
1:10:21the other than Lucas obsession with the
1:10:23fifties that character we don't care
1:10:25about he's not interesting like at this
1:10:27point also wrote my notes too many
1:10:28characters too many planets to me it's
1:10:31just too many moving parts you maestro
1:10:33couldn't get these parts fit together
1:10:34into a cohesive whole and Lucas is not a
1:10:37maestro my notes say cloners like that
1:10:39means anything but your door references
1:10:43is a good is it is a good one John
1:10:45because who do we ask for help when we
1:10:47don't know which way to go
1:10:48say map say map oh wait they took the
1:10:51planet out of the map we can't say map
1:10:53I thought it was really weird that all
1:10:56the Jedi younglings were all exactly the
1:10:58same height hello younglings
1:11:00will this be a good spot to have some
1:11:01aliens like they had the one red-faced
1:11:03alien but they
1:11:04have we know there's ton of weird shapes
1:11:06or an extra tall alien or an extra short
1:11:09yeah they're all kids they're all just
1:11:10Lucas's me everything you did the
1:11:12readers kids younglings are shooting
1:11:15younglings classes at the Jedi school
1:11:17are sorted by height you know everybody
1:11:20chlorines are usually present in a
1:11:21certain body type so depending on when
1:11:24they manifest it's true i should i
1:11:25should point out that that a beloved
1:11:27podcast of mine and john's the flophouse
1:11:30did an episode about episode 2 and the
1:11:32only thing I remember I wanted to
1:11:33mention from their episode about this
1:11:35movie is the point that many of the
1:11:38words used in this movie are English
1:11:40words and occasionally a word will be
1:11:42changed for no apparent reason other
1:11:44than to make it seem alien e so we could
1:11:46call these people kids or children but
1:11:48no their younglings yuengling is a
1:11:50redundant word space children young
1:11:54means one thing and this suffix Ling
1:11:56just means a young version of that young
1:11:59young man doing anything
1:12:01what's up young space space children
1:12:04come on
1:12:04word up my youngs the whole bit with the
1:12:07map is pretty great because it's like
1:12:08not only has it been you know the the
1:12:10map has been erased
1:12:11I like the idea first of all that it
1:12:13should be that the planet should be
1:12:14south of another planet that
1:12:16particularly struck record be single
1:12:19active true north
1:12:20yeah its three-dimensional he knows
1:12:22exactly where the planet is supposed to
1:12:24be Kristen why do you not go there they
1:12:27have spaceships but it and he's like
1:12:29legitimately I just can't figure this
1:12:30one out
1:12:31yeah I know but that was like what was
1:12:33the point of having that scene in the
1:12:34movie to show that all we want is really
1:12:36really really stupid like he got no new
1:12:39information is it it's not there
1:12:42it looks like it's been erased he
1:12:44already told them gravity is point like
1:12:46it's not even like a CSI scene where
1:12:47they figure out like something by using
1:12:49computers
1:12:50I don't under the scenes in this movie
1:12:51that just don't need to be there at all
1:12:54and it's someone thought was a really
1:12:56great idea like oh that the mind of a
1:12:58child is going to tell us some insight
1:13:00now
1:13:00nope he's gonna tell you exactly 13
1:13:02year-old know and by doing that he will
1:13:04make you appear dumber than
1:13:06three-year-old because you are it does
1:13:08give a chance for you to slag and by
1:13:10saying he's lost a planet that I was
1:13:11impressed by the efficiency of their
1:13:13library system we just have to say the
1:13:14name of a planet say it's a Kamino
1:13:17and they can immediately say that
1:13:19doesn't exist now we're asking how it's
1:13:21spelled the library was one of the few
1:13:23sort of lazy visual design because the
1:13:26visual design these movies like the
1:13:27ships and everything is not I i think
1:13:28it's reasonably good but the library
1:13:30they said how about we have big walls
1:13:32like a lineup book spines yeah that
1:13:34reads his library i'm pretty sure that
1:13:35the visual design of this movie because
1:13:37the whole thing that made the first
1:13:38trilogy cool was that it was lived in
1:13:40this landspeeders look call me that
1:13:43again this is supposed to be like the
1:13:44guilty want to give them license to go
1:13:46with I'm just saying like a library
1:13:48having light up book spines that is too
1:13:50lazy
1:13:50sorry do I think we go back to New
1:13:52briefly and we meet then there's the new
1:13:55queen who is in the same it's like they
1:13:57get to reuse the sets and they got the
1:13:59guy with the with the goatee and it's
1:14:01full of a planet full of old people and
1:14:03old stuff and of course they were ruled
1:14:04by gun girls
1:14:06yeah don't be an Anakin Skywalker yeah
1:14:11creepy i like when they're walking when
1:14:13they're walking down the walkway and
1:14:14have some more sterling dialogue like I
1:14:16agree i think the Republic needs you I'm
1:14:18glad you chose to serve and seen thank
1:14:21you for like thank you for expressing
1:14:22those sentiments in such a dry boring
1:14:25fashion is this where your boat is John
1:14:27reason I think it's somewhere around
1:14:28here like they're talking about like she
1:14:31says that she wasn't in the legislative
1:14:33use and she wanted to go in the Senate
1:14:35and additives like yes i agree i think
1:14:38the Republic needs you
1:14:39I was glad you chose to serve end of
1:14:41seeing like that's it that that's it
1:14:43said it sounds like an important word
1:14:46i'm actually really thinking about the
1:14:47new political system now
1:14:50yeah she said I wasn't the youngest
1:14:52queen ever elected so there were younger
1:14:55Queens that her and they might never
1:14:58have Kings I think this is a planet
1:15:01that's always ruled by young teenage
1:15:03girls
1:15:04yes I green if I mean that the plan also
1:15:07fell apart too so i would like to
1:15:09believe that that that they have decided
1:15:11that the wave for them to rule without
1:15:13being uncovered by up like political
1:15:16dealings and things is having an
1:15:17innocent a preteen girl sit on the
1:15:20throne for a while and not do much
1:15:22because there's the guy with the goatee
1:15:24there's one scene where they tried to
1:15:25establish the sort of tension in the
1:15:28romantic relationship is sort of a
1:15:30sparring type thing
1:15:31like a han Leia thing where they're like
1:15:32I think we should go for the lake
1:15:33country for security and they have this
1:15:35disagreement or whatever and again
1:15:36everything that everything in this movie
1:15:38I can put up on the big board saying I
1:15:41can see what they're trying to do in the
1:15:43scene they're trying to make this
1:15:44relationship like it you know they're
1:15:46attracted to each other but they also
1:15:48have a little bit of witty verbal
1:15:49sparring is sparring is a form of
1:15:51flirting or whatever and it totally
1:15:52falls on its face it does not work the
1:15:55writing is bad does not make me think
1:15:56any of the characters are likable or
1:15:58interesting or clever in any way they
1:16:01just it makes and look more petulant it
1:16:03makes her look stupid for tolerating his
1:16:05petulance and it just it totally fails
1:16:08and like I i wish i could take all these
1:16:10scenes like pin them up and say this
1:16:13scene was supposed to this and didn't
1:16:14seem as opposed to this and didn't and I
1:16:16don't know what's worse the seams with a
1:16:17talk and exposition and sit on couches
1:16:19or the scenes where you can tell what
1:16:21they're trying to do and they totally
1:16:23family just move on to like well I guess
1:16:25we didn't pull it off next scene please
1:16:26let nothing be done we'll just take it
1:16:29as it is and hope you forget camino
1:16:31llego tu camino it's very rainy this is
1:16:33a planet that's rainy there's lots of
1:16:34water
1:16:35they're also cloners they're here
1:16:37they're cloners big cloners lots of
1:16:39green identically tall implausibly
1:16:41skinny long-necked yes camino aliens are
1:16:44these tall skinny white aliens in these
1:16:47in these long white corridors i remember
1:16:51watching this movie the first time in
1:16:52thinking I can i really like the look
1:16:54and the art direction of the Camino
1:16:57scenes that it's rainy it's kind of
1:16:59atmospheric it's this very like 2001
1:17:02almost or some of the scenes in in the
1:17:05original trilogy that it's the kind of
1:17:07like all white aesthetic and I thought
1:17:09the aliens were interesting and strange
1:17:11and they have strange voices and I godly
1:17:14never look like they belong in the scene
1:17:16to me
1:17:16yeah yeah always it was the humans the
1:17:19humans who don't look like they're
1:17:20standing on anything there they're not
1:17:21even planted on ya just in the green
1:17:23screen it's a pleasant cartoon to watch
1:17:25yes I liked it originally but but
1:17:29watching it back this time I was like oh
1:17:30it's really not that good i was hoping
1:17:32that this would be the thing that I
1:17:34could be like oh yeah the white
1:17:36long-necked aliens on the rain planet
1:17:38that will be fine at like the big waves
1:17:40and the big creature that the guys
1:17:42riding on the back up
1:17:42I like to see the movie featuring those
1:17:44guys out of like Avatar before avatar
1:17:46and I think the idea of the planet where
1:17:48it's rainy and dark all-time in their
1:17:49gigantic waves is moody and atmosphere
1:17:51gets to bed it happen to be you know you
1:17:53got trapped in the middle of episode 2
1:17:54and can i say that obi-wan is among his
1:17:57things that he's not skillful at playing
1:17:59along
1:18:00not yet you still fighting there's a
1:18:01whole lot of like yeah well we expected
1:18:04you want you expected me oh yes yes you
1:18:06did
1:18:07we hope you'll enjoy the army you
1:18:09ordered the the re oh yeah oh yeah the
1:18:12are you going on about the army yes oh
1:18:14yes please tell me who ordered that army
1:18:17just to refresh my memory of these
1:18:19cloners are very not very careful this
1:18:21must be like oh you would think they'd
1:18:23be a little bit more careful decisions
1:18:24but like it's the problem we're talking
1:18:26about the Anakin not being a hero
1:18:27what does obi-wan do this heroic he sent
1:18:29here to do something heroic like go
1:18:31figure out find this bounty hunter
1:18:32whatever find him
1:18:34how does obi-wan succeed in his mission
1:18:35through his coming through his skill
1:18:37through you know its cleverness to
1:18:39through his brute-force now he just
1:18:41Falls ass-backwards into it because the
1:18:43scripture says you some luck he shows I
1:18:45luck they put him in he does a bad job
1:18:48of hiding everything I may just he'll
1:18:49like what he didn't he wasn't here oh we
1:18:51didn't do anything heroic he was just
1:18:53there you could have you gonna send r2
1:18:54and r2 would have been as successful in
1:18:56this mission
1:18:56yeah it's true
1:19:00yeah except as long as they weren't
1:19:01centipedes around this is where i had to
1:19:03stop the first time by the way that yeah
1:19:04but we got to learn the secret of the
1:19:07stormtroopers which is that they're all
1:19:09Boba Fett's father
1:19:10no no no
1:19:14yeah so i have this later when that when
1:19:16we when we load up on stormtroopers but
1:19:18i can mention it now which is the clone
1:19:19troopers on one level it explains why
1:19:21store stormtroopers are so uniform and
1:19:24so lame because they're they've been
1:19:26engineered to follow orders and
1:19:28apparently the miss your target little
1:19:30things but I really don't like this red
1:19:31come I always always liked the fact that
1:19:33the storm troopers were you know scary
1:19:35shock troops for the Empire even though
1:19:37yeah they don't shoot as well and they
1:19:39killed their killed easily but here
1:19:41we've just backed it all out to being
1:19:42these kind of like genetically
1:19:44engineered in order to be pliable
1:19:47versions of Jango Fett well you have
1:19:51like the droid racism this is the clone
1:19:53racism because all right so they're
1:19:54genetically identical but so were twins
1:19:56that's why are we spoke this is the
1:19:58excusing the fact that like we're gonna
1:20:00kill these guys later but don't feel bad
1:20:02they're just clones they're absolutely a
1:20:03hundred percent you been engineered to
1:20:05followers and apply I know start
1:20:07seatbelt but they're just they're in
1:20:08there as human as any other human and
1:20:11it's not like I think the Empire
1:20:13archived on the Empire's evil and all
1:20:14that stuff but it's like in the movie
1:20:15this is done to excuse later the death
1:20:18of these things like that we don't care
1:20:19about like when and hops off the the
1:20:21thing and the clones were piloting their
1:20:22blow up that we don't linger on that
1:20:24it's like well they're just clones a
1:20:25million that's not a big deal and I
1:20:27think it's made worse it's made worse by
1:20:28the clone wars television series which
1:20:30is actually much better than any of
1:20:32these movies and that really humanizes
1:20:34the clones and shows what it's like to
1:20:36be cloned going up but like it's it's so
1:20:39terrible for me to see how they treat
1:20:41clones and it seems odd to me that we
1:20:43have to watch boba fett watch his father
1:20:45died later because he just ends up going
1:20:47into the same line of work as his father
1:20:49being a bounty hunter so it's not much
1:20:51of an origin story but it strikes me as
1:20:54odd that after his father's dead clones
1:20:57of his father are on every planet in the
1:21:00system
1:21:00yeah yeah they're not his dad but yeah
1:21:03they're the modified ones they're
1:21:05mentally they've been mentally
1:21:07handicapped isn't that what they say on
1:21:09communities that they've grown
1:21:10yeah they just been made compliant yeah
1:21:13but for the kid
1:21:15if you ever see a stormtrooper without
1:21:16his helmet on oh my god that's dad
1:21:19it looks like your dad well but but it
1:21:21looks like him too because he's also a
1:21:23clone of his dance is going to grow up
1:21:24to look exactly like his father that's
1:21:26why he's so messed up in here it comes
1:21:28it's it's not really his father it's his
1:21:30it's his brother it's his twin really
1:21:32its yeah that the clone thing when it
1:21:35really got to me was at the end where I
1:21:37realized hey we're supposed to be
1:21:39rooting for the Jedi who are willingly
1:21:40sending living beings who have been
1:21:43genetically engineered to be compliant
1:21:44into battle to be killed slaughtered by
1:21:48a bunch of robots and the clone wars TV
1:21:50series that relationship between the
1:21:52Jedi and the clones is like that tension
1:21:54is five kills me that the cartoon
1:21:57network show us so much more nuanced and
1:21:58interest in these than these
1:21:59multi-million dollar movies but the Jedi
1:22:02have a relationship with the leaders of
1:22:04the clone armies and I think I kind of
1:22:06read in the television series the Jedi
1:22:08feel kind of bad
1:22:10what about this whole were commanding
1:22:11you and we're in this together and
1:22:13they're like you could have done
1:22:14something like that in this movie to
1:22:16show the Jedi were uncomfortable with
1:22:17this that they had a relationship with
1:22:19them in battle that didn't treat them
1:22:20just like a machine that you can give
1:22:22orders to it because it kind of makes
1:22:23sense that the humans treat the droids
1:22:25just machines because they just believe
1:22:27there's no strong AI and I was one
1:22:28throwaway line in this movie that
1:22:29actually kind of liked they said well
1:22:31that machines that would think there
1:22:32wouldn't be any of us here I'm like hey
1:22:34that would be a blessing and B that's
1:22:35kind of a clever comment down AI but you
1:22:38know I've seen three c-3po and r2 and
1:22:40they actually seem like the thinking to
1:22:41me so maybe you should open your eyes
1:22:42you fought in the Clone Wars while the
1:22:44Clone Wars sound like they're really
1:22:45cool no actually it's just we made lots
1:22:47of photocopies and this one guy and made
1:22:50a giant army it was sort of like
1:22:52destroyed fighting drugs to be honest
1:22:53with you wasn't a big deal
1:22:55yeah and and then we ran them into the
1:22:56drugs yet because the droids is the
1:22:58excuse is like we don't care the first
1:22:59movie that the droids are dying and i
1:23:01will close vs towards don't you it's a
1:23:03kind of a wash right dad that they're
1:23:04all the same they died who came when i
1:23:06say fought in the Clone Wars what I mean
1:23:08mean is i SAT over here and watch that
1:23:11movie at that right yeah it's like very
1:23:15similar
1:23:15I know what you were saying to yourself
1:23:17when you saw how long this episode was
1:23:19wow that's a long episode of the
1:23:22uncomfortable i wonder if they manage to
1:23:24squeeze episode 2 into a single episode
1:23:27instead of doing it in two parts like
1:23:30they did with all of the other Star Wars
1:23:32movies
1:23:32well no that didn't happen
1:23:35join us next week for part two of our
1:23:38discussion of Star Wars Episode two