Roderick on the Line

Ep. 47: "Esquivalience"

 

  hello John [TS]

  hi Merlin is going well it's a little [TS]

  early man is earlier you're working [TS]

  these days [TS]

  yeah well you know as you know I had a [TS]

  lot of houseguests here for a couple [TS]

  weeks heard about that and the last I [TS]

  finally put the last one on a plane this [TS]

  morning [TS]

  you're kidding now so so I'm just so I [TS]

  kind of woke up I woke up early just out [TS]

  of a feeling of that that anxiety you [TS]

  have that someone's in my house and [TS]

  they're probably making bacon [TS]

  yeah but no one was in my room in your [TS]

  chili someone's getting into my chili [TS]

  someone's messing with my globes are [TS]

  taking pictures of my candlesticks the [TS]

  wooden things not that cigarettes in the [TS]

  garbage yeah snuffed out cigarettes in [TS]

  the garbage reading reading different [TS]

  kinds of jerky the canonical jerky zoo [TS]

  know what i mean i dunno I dunno exactly [TS]

  what you mean i don't know at memory [TS]

  serves the friend i believe the friend [TS]

  you sent out today has literally been [TS]

  there for almost two weeks he's been one [TS]

  of the map three weeks and you had a man [TS]

  in your house for three weeks oh my god [TS]

  and it's only because he walks around [TS]

  like a he walks around like a kid on [TS]

  Christmas morning who that uh that's the [TS]

  only reason I could expect standard he's [TS]

  very quiet is extremely polite he keeps [TS]

  to himself [TS]

  that's right you know one of my [TS]

  houseguest was handing out $15 itunes [TS]

  cards already catch my name [TS]

  I'm have John and mixed feelings on this [TS]

  we should cut all this out she actually [TS]

  say we're talking about it should we [TS]

  just be oblique annoy people i don't [TS]

  know it's nice to have mixed feelings i [TS]

  love mixed feeling citing sometimes [TS]

  maybe maybe you should have let me which [TS]

  you allude to do stuff more who could be [TS]

  interesting to talk about i'm here let's [TS]

  talk about rising so fucking jonathan [TS]

  coulton has SAT his narrow ass on your [TS]

  couch root for all three weeks removed [TS]

  he moved from bed to bed he moved from [TS]

  bed to couch to bed and now finally [TS]

  finally gone already regret saying this [TS]

  cuz there's I mean now this is ben [TS]

  Pandora's vagina has flung her lobby [TS]

  opening don't know and there is so much [TS]

  to talk about now that i have officially [TS]

  officially been your house [TS]

  yeah I know but I mean my god oh geez no [TS]

  no all good all good it's just you know [TS]

  there's that you know but you were here [TS]

  in the context of a larger group of [TS]

  people to contact yeah it was you were [TS]

  you were here both in the context and [TS]

  out of the context of who it starts you [TS]

  know it would be it'd be it'd be [TS]

  different if if you were just here like [TS]

  roaming around idly pulling books off [TS]

  the shelves who you know I'd really like [TS]

  changing the settings on things I mean [TS]

  that would be one thing but it's another [TS]

  thing to be here in the anteroom did not [TS]

  break your usual help straining it's not [TS]

  my fault I another thing to be here in a [TS]

  group full of alpha alpha males [TS]

  ok so this is gonna be the official the [TS]

  official i think deal estar fuckery a [TS]

  episode / more importantly discussion if [TS]

  we may if you're comfortable about [TS]

  exactly what happens in your house [TS]

  people have heard about it i'm going to [TS]

  ask maybe you don't have a bell or [TS]

  something nearby you should have [TS]

  something that you can hit it safe word [TS]

  safe bell hit a safe belt [TS]

  ok my mind is red and you tell me when [TS]

  when when we need to cut it off okay [TS]

  yeah well yeah as you say we just cut [TS]

  out all the years we just stipulate i [TS]

  will to the night again I think there's [TS]

  a lot I don't know about how your [TS]

  parameters protected but it will to the [TS]

  best of my ability reveal nothing about [TS]

  the location [TS]

  ok good for that means by which i was or [TS]

  was not allowed into your home right [TS]

  here don't and and any any any evidence [TS]

  or any-any anything that might allow my [TS]

  house to be identified from the air that [TS]

  ok [TS]

  yeah alright I'll do the best I can I [TS]

  here's the thing it doesn't have is [TS]

  something that we've all experienced my [TS]

  daughter's for and she's already [TS]

  experienced this is which is the whole [TS]

  like I had a dream and it was weird [TS]

  because it was our house but it wasn't [TS]

  our house and I said shut up i hate [TS]

  hearing other people's dreams kind of [TS]

  compulsion of mine of course I needed to [TS]

  identify your professor who found [TS]

  intolerable he thought he was like his [TS]

  greatest phobia [TS]

  hehe i just i merely I merely hate it [TS]

  but he could not stand to hear someone [TS]

  else's dream [TS]

  wow really I'm updated extra the late [TS]

  David dextran behind you buddy [TS]

  yeah well you know what i do is i slowly [TS]

  lower my eyelids like I'm cranking the [TS]

  honoring of a french cafe until my [TS]

  eyelids are just barely open just the [TS]

  faintest touch of i'll ask why you're [TS]

  listening [TS]

  this is why I'm listening to someone [TS]

  talk about the dream just like get this [TS]

  son ambulant so yeah but you know I know [TS]

  there's a basic problem to the dreams [TS]

  maybe we should just talk about things [TS]

  in Avoyelles other bullshit but his [TS]

  dreams are very interesting except as [TS]

  much as they are absolutely not [TS]

  interesting or not it's that describes [TS]

  describing a poop to somebody I would [TS]

  rather hear about the poopy took the in [TS]

  your dreams because he doesn't sound [TS]

  like everybody that talk to me about [TS]

  their dreams was really just describing [TS]

  their last poop i would be actually [TS]

  pretty fascinating i would be so [TS]

  relieved and that's something that can [TS]

  understand here's how it goes you go on [TS]

  I just remembered something [TS]

  oh my god I had a crazy dream last night [TS]

  now i hate you i hate you please don't [TS]

  say anything [TS]

  oh no no let me just listen I want to [TS]

  make it clear I I don't want to hear [TS]

  your dream it's not just you i never [TS]

  want to hear anybody fucking tell me [TS]

  their dream I don't care and it won't be [TS]

  as cool as you think it is and then turn [TS]

  the annual drift off and say you [TS]

  couldn't really describe it [TS]

  that's gonna happen that's not how you [TS]

  described you to notice it was so funny [TS]

  because it was like I was in school but [TS]

  it was a museum and it was like I was in [TS]

  a boat but no and I would i remember [TS]

  that i had arms and eyes are lowering [TS]

  laughs and you were there but it wasn't [TS]

  you know although i will make a caveat [TS]

  right we'll make an exception it's very [TS]

  early i don't know how I don't know how [TS]

  to speak you i'm really sorry i will [TS]

  make an exception for someone who treats [TS]

  me about other dream I'll see okay what [TS]

  all right so we were in my dreams let's [TS]

  explain why cause you got a hundred [TS]

  forty fucking characters there's no [TS]

  epilogue there's no prologue excuse me [TS]

  there's no prologue and there's no [TS]

  epilogue you you merely say I had a [TS]

  weird dream last night that my pillows [TS]

  turn into John Roderick weird [TS]

  perfect thank you yeah right yes it goes [TS]

  on you amble on through this thing and [TS]

  already the thing is i think it's [TS]

  probably a poetic name for this but you [TS]

  know every time we we remember a memory [TS]

  we exchanged a little bit and he created [TS]

  a little bit [TS]

  this is just pure neuroscience degraded [TS]

  and then amplify [TS]

  the things that we're remembering [TS]

  correctly yeah if you go back over here [TS]

  recordings of yourself or you know my [TS]

  case I go back I'm gonna hear myself to [TS]

  repeat myself a lot of ever mentioned [TS]

  that but i will hear myself having told [TS]

  the same story it's different like I'm [TS]

  always telling the best version i can [TS]

  remember of something that happened to [TS]

  me and it is different right [TS]

  oh yeah absolutely so when you tell a [TS]

  dream you're really telling a story of a [TS]

  dream and the story sucks and then you [TS]

  go into so finally as your you're [TS]

  stripping and then I remember I woke up [TS]

  a little bit but um it was you know it's [TS]

  so hard to describe because it was it's [TS]

  uh well and and and that's true i can't [TS]

  describe my dreams because I stopped [TS]

  remembering my dreams a long time ago [TS]

  when i was when i was young i remembered [TS]

  my dreams pretty loosely my dream [TS]

  vividly and I remember every i still [TS]

  remember a dream I had when I was four [TS]

  years old in extraordinary detail but [TS]

  apart from that I I mean I have like [TS]

  five dreams that i remember ever yeah [TS]

  nowadays i wake up and it's like oh yeah [TS]

  right i was in some some warehouse in a [TS]

  winter landscape being chased by snipers [TS]

  and I was riding a motorcycle that I [TS]

  built myself as a pretty good pretty [TS]

  fucking cool dream i love the sea isle [TS]

  of a cool dream or I'll of a dream of [TS]

  the punchline I the thing is if it [TS]

  really is your dream and you're not [TS]

  making it up it probably won't have a [TS]

  punch line is just a bunch of bullshit [TS]

  your brains trying to figure out its [TS]

  like the recycling bin of your soul [TS]

  right now [TS]

  now you you you began this by trying to [TS]

  describe the experience of coming to my [TS]

  house and i'm guessing it is because you [TS]

  have dreamt about being in my house can [TS]

  tell you something you're so I know you [TS]

  hate this is going to continue this [TS]

  dream it was so weird [TS]

  now here's the thing i got your place [TS]

  you got your perimeter i was instantly [TS]

  identified it for reasons that I won't [TS]

  be able to explain apart from the gps I [TS]

  was also able to see things that you've [TS]

  talked about you you flung open the door [TS]

  of your home and immediately there were [TS]

  it was as though you are fucking with my [TS]

  head that you had listened to our [TS]

  program which I know you don't [TS]

  it was as though you had listened to our [TS]

  program and deliberately tried to make a [TS]

  house that it looked like John Roderick [TS]

  loda because if i may say not too much [TS]

  detail but I opened the door and and [TS]

  rainforest first if I can like control [TS]

  suo [TS]

  the gate to the Garden I wasn't gonna [TS]

  say jon postel deniability chuck Colson [TS]

  yea-ah anyway [TS]

  yes the gate is a pickle for the ticket [TS]

  yeah so and then kind of stood [TS]

  hesitantly on one side looking down at a [TS]

  variety of ropes and cables that were [TS]

  part partially buried i am mary i [TS]

  admired your fruit but the beat the [TS]

  citizens this is where I immediately [TS]

  knew that I had gone down a very very [TS]

  special musky rabbit hole was that the [TS]

  door open in front of me was what i [TS]

  believe to be possibly a baby grand [TS]

  piano that was entirely covered with [TS]

  brass candles and can't rest [TS]

  candlesticks and entirely underneath it [TS]

  was what i would guess to be two dozen [TS]

  glass of me varying sizes all looking [TS]

  very old and I thought holy shit because [TS]

  like our friend jason says the problem [TS]

  with John Roderick is it all sounds so [TS]

  plausible until you hear the point where [TS]

  it's not possible and it's very [TS]

  difficult to know where the line is [TS]

  mm there's a rack of cowboy boots there [TS]

  was literally a rack of cowboy boots all [TS]

  of your collections are real question I [TS]

  saw if I say John I saw your fucking [TS]

  Braille playboys [TS]

  I thought that was made up yeah I we [TS]

  browse them Scott browse the menu you [TS]

  and scott simpson spent spent quite a [TS]

  quite a bit of time reading the usual [TS]

  people wish i could say you should make [TS]

  people with white cotton gloves on the [TS]

  handle your Braille well you know my [TS]

  feeling about all this stuff here is it [TS]

  here to be used to so for instance the [TS]

  rack of cowboy boots I eyewear repair [TS]

  even though they are of course a [TS]

  collection of who and then the globe's I [TS]

  consult because the gloves clubs [TS]

  represent different eras who of globe [TS]

  making a sort of snapshots of history [TS]

  that you like to contrast that's exactly [TS]

  right you look at you look at a club [TS]

  that you find in a thrift store and you [TS]

  look at the the nations of africa and [TS]

  the borders of of you know it like East [TS]

  Asia and all those boards have changed [TS]

  all those countries are different now [TS]

  oceania oceania rights right and here's [TS]

  here's the thing I I don't want to get [TS]

  into this because I'm starting to obsess [TS]

  over it but I've been thinking a lot [TS]

  about obsessive compulsion and howard [TS]

  hughes I've been thinking a great deal [TS]

  the last few days about this [TS]

  yeah Howard Hughes Howard he [TS]

  it is looming large in my mind right now [TS]

  and we probably just shouldn't get into [TS]

  it but here's something I i have to know [TS]

  that you know which is that maps and I [TS]

  believe with globes [TS]

  there's always at least one fake thing [TS]

  on it really you know about this [TS]

  no there's a name for it it's like a [TS]

  canary trap but the club or it's a [TS]

  finger [TS]

  it's a thing that makers globe makers do [TS]

  as a kind of like that's how we know [TS]

  it's my globe and that's what my canary [TS]

  trap [TS]

  bingo so here's the thing you get a map [TS]

  you get the map it's it's flawless [TS]

  sponsor this new map the United States [TS]

  or as the United States I think it's [TS]

  about the United States I really want to [TS]

  get the result of all these years of [TS]

  research [TS]

  it's the most optimized version of like [TS]

  everything that could be annoying about [TS]

  a map they've made really great and I [TS]

  really want it want it want it but the [TS]

  greatest map in the world still has like [TS]

  a fake city on it or has a fake rollout [TS]

  often it's a fake road so they can see [TS]

  there's only one of those are annoying [TS]

  fucking lyrics sites on the web you want [TS]

  to go lyrics you're Rod Stewart song and [TS]

  you copy some text it will also copy [TS]

  some other stuff they put deliberate [TS]

  errors in there to find out today [TS]

  scrapings from somebody else but now its [TS]

  subscription that from there all [TS]

  butthurt you know here it's the fucking [TS]

  earth ok we get it we all we know what's [TS]

  there but you put in a fake road now [TS]

  here's my problem that road or country [TS]

  or city is very unlikely to be anything [TS]

  that I ever consultant now I can't stop [TS]

  thinking about it I have to know what is [TS]

  the one faking on the square searching [TS]

  the map for the fake did you bring work [TS]

  at all like that it does absolutely it's [TS]

  a you know it's easter egg [TS]

  I think I found a fake road on a map [TS]

  not very long ago because i was looking [TS]

  at a map of my mom's hometown and there [TS]

  was a road so high oh this is an Ohio [TS]

  there was a road that was named after [TS]

  her maiden name which i won't say well [TS]

  now [TS]

  oh boy you better not but let's say her [TS]

  maiden name was just give me the less [TS]

  risk unless four digits of President [TS]

  Cruz watch for the last four digits of [TS]

  her maiden name [TS]

  so what we're driving a lot we're [TS]

  looking at this map together of her [TS]

  hometown and she says look at that it's [TS]

  it's a frozen gloucester road for I [TS]

  others that's there's no road like that [TS]

  in this town I would know about it so we [TS]

  went to all the computer would be said [TS]

  computer went to the computer anywhere [TS]

  together we were zooming in on the town [TS]

  from outer space and we're looking at it [TS]

  and all these different places and all [TS]

  these different directions and there's [TS]

  this and it's like it's like a quarter [TS]

  of a mile long this little thing yeah [TS]

  it's nothing to nothing who very very [TS]

  suspicious [TS]

  yeah and she says if that was a thing if [TS]

  they named it road after my family in [TS]

  that town i would absolutely know about [TS]

  it and this road is just sitting out [TS]

  there it doesn't go for to anywhere and [TS]

  I was like em take root holy shit John [TS]

  look at that link i just sent a ready [TS]

  for this you ready for the name and what [TS]

  this is called already it has a nameless [TS]

  this phenomenon during trap Street trap [TS]

  Street trap Street a trap Street is a [TS]

  fictitious entry in the form of a [TS]

  misrepresented street on a map often [TS]

  outside the area that nominally covers [TS]

  for the purposes of cortical trapping [TS]

  potential copyright violators now can [TS]

  this be true even on a good is this [TS]

  something that has been happening for [TS]

  years so that all these old globe's I [TS]

  have under the piano [TS]

  John my concern is there may be no way [TS]

  to ever find out those are the gloves [TS]

  right i mean it's deliberately it's [TS]

  deliberately incorrect and i doubt that [TS]

  there's any kind of documentation [TS]

  addenda appendix or etc that would tell [TS]

  us [TS]

  oh by the way here's the trap Street we [TS]

  never want you to fucking find no this [TS]

  goes now there's two streets to travel [TS]

  treats we can go down here's a fork in [TS]

  the trap Street first of all i want to [TS]

  point out the legal legal issues section [TS]

  of the trap Street page is apparently [TS]

  some it appears the trap streets cannot [TS]

  be copyrighted just so you know it [TS]

  appears that under copyright law you're [TS]

  not allowed to copyright the name of a [TS]

  fixed rate that doesn't insist on a map [TS]

  ok alright copyright law for the win and [TS]

  now now now getting with this bullshit [TS]

  email signatures we go this is to the [TS]

  only recipient and related to kick you [TS]

  right now i agree to nothing I [TS]

  good-for-nothing this is not a tacit [TS]

  contract right here I item and be and be [TS]

  holy shit how much the stuff that's out [TS]

  there that we're dealing with or should [TS]

  be dealing with is actually a kind of if [TS]

  I may say trap Street John it seems to [TS]

  me that someone who is concerned about [TS]

  these issues of intelligence [TS]

  this is the kind of thing you need to [TS]

  know about think about and maybe not [TS]

  even admit to know don't worry about [TS]

  traps these two double trap streets [TS]

  could do think about what you could do [TS]

  with trap streets [TS]

  well here's here's the thing though for [TS]

  me personally I although i love maps and [TS]

  I consult maps constantly on an hourly [TS]

  basis I very seldom use maps for [TS]

  navigation who because when I'm going [TS]

  from a place to another place [TS]

  well in advance of traveling i will say [TS]

  ok I'm going to this place up here and I [TS]

  look at a map and I'll get the general [TS]

  idea of the area where the where the [TS]

  place I'm going is like I located in the [TS]

  in the quadrant of the map but when i [TS]

  leave home i tried to a always take a [TS]

  different route / and be not ever really [TS]

  exactly know what I'm going so that when [TS]

  i get into that job i don't think i [TS]

  could even if they could read your mind [TS]

  is still wouldn't know exactly and that [TS]

  not only that i have the old-fashioned [TS]

  sensation of arriving in a location a [TS]

  general area of high street if you will [TS]

  in the main part of town or the you know [TS]

  out by the beach or wherever that I'm in [TS]

  there and I go I know it's right around [TS]

  here somewhere and then I go up and down [TS]

  the streets and I go back and forth mrs. [TS]

  of course a problem what if i have to be [TS]

  there at a certain time [TS]

  that's not your fault but you know what [TS]

  that's not my fault they should have [TS]

  accounted for that so and then I start [TS]

  then I have bet that that X the [TS]

  excitement and the satisfaction of [TS]

  discovering the place and and and very [TS]

  often going directly to it because it's [TS]

  the obvious it's obvious it's like i'm [TS]

  going to i'm going to a place called the [TS]

  tower building and you get out there and [TS]

  it's like huh well there's only one [TS]

  place that could be this bet that [TS]

  building up their looks like a tower and [TS]

  none of the other buildings do so anyway [TS]

  that is a that is a way in which so I do [TS]

  not use g [TS]

  yes so they just simply up well let's [TS]

  just take this ready but for you it's [TS]

  not simply a matter of cartographical [TS]

  cheating you certainly want a sharp mind [TS]

  you're not gonna you're not gonna shave [TS]

  with soap [TS]

  you're gonna you're gonna have the [TS]

  minimal number of steps exposed to [TS]

  people as part of your process but then [TS]

  you're learning also it's your auto [TS]

  didacticism that doesn't follow your [TS]

  nose is that exactly and and so what is [TS]

  much more likely and what happens all [TS]

  the time is that I discovered roads that [TS]

  are not on the map rather than thinking [TS]

  that there's a road because they were [TS]

  because it says so on the map and then [TS]

  there's no Road this is it [TS]

  I mean is it the opposite of a trap [TS]

  Street i'm guessing that I'm guessing if [TS]

  you are making a trap Street you would [TS]

  not make the trap Street you could not [TS]

  locate the trap Street on your map in a [TS]

  place where people would say wow that's [TS]

  a cool shortcut you know I mean nobody [TS]

  nobody what she described with made with [TS]

  the maiden lane was was exactly how it [TS]

  works I think you'll see a little [TS]

  cul-de-sac [TS]

  that's called like Jackie court and so [TS]

  jokey court and it doesn't even matter [TS]

  what it is probably it should look [TS]

  plausible but the point is if they're [TS]

  going to Xerox that or whatever people [TS]

  do today [TS]

  scan it yeah right it's not gonna matter [TS]

  what is going to fax it to each other it [TS]

  could be called fuck you in the eye lane [TS]

  that's the thing is that like it's going [TS]

  to show up on mapping oh haha we might [TS]

  we might own the copyright on fuck you [TS]

  but probably not but not yet boy that [TS]

  you know who I don't know I guess I'm [TS]

  just thinking it's in again please say [TS]

  as little as you can about this unless [TS]

  you want to say more it just strikes me [TS]

  that when you get into the area of [TS]

  intelligence or or HUMINT or or our [TS]

  element or any of the different kinds of [TS]

  Intel yeah right you meant for our [TS]

  listeners who are not adverse to MIT in [TS]

  the clandestine arts it's just human [TS]

  intelligence i learned about that after [TS]

  the 911 you hear people saying that a [TS]

  lot of people were confused about what [TS]

  it meant the ordinance yeah human sounds [TS]

  like something that you would put in the [TS]

  bottom of the flower pot in order to [TS]

  have your petunias group I knew Abe and [TS]

  humans who [TS]

  hello so hello idea where there's a lot [TS]

  there's a lot at the lot on the cable [TS]

  here we're not even near that ukulele [TS]

  string [TS]

  yeah you know butBut press on press on [TS]

  well okay I all I'm saying is ok here [TS]

  let me give you a few examples for [TS]

  example uh I i if i remember correctly [TS]

  Dick Cheney who I think might be even [TS]

  more monkey balls than you dick cheney I [TS]

  believe had the Naval Observatory [TS]

  removed from google maps [TS]

  oh he had it he added pixel it's smudged [TS]

  ya Yin like maybe he had shifted a [TS]

  couple feet i don't know right now you [TS]

  remember when for example there's many [TS]

  issues you may remember that when gps [TS]

  first became a consumer product there's [TS]

  a built-in fucked upness to it where [TS]

  they made it off [TS]

  first of all lucky we got good it was [TS]

  still you are never allowed to be closer [TS]

  than 14 feet or something but almost [TS]

  more than that it was like 10 feet at [TS]

  first because you didn't want to be able [TS]

  to put a bomb right in the kaisers [TS]

  pocket right right or drop drop the [TS]

  bombs between the minarets down on [TS]

  casbah Lane who is in a cast by that is [TS]

  that is that a plane as by way [TS]

  okay yeah uh well yeah and in fact uh [TS]

  you know in those early days of [TS]

  satellite pictures on the internet i had [TS]

  a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot [TS]

  of forest that i was very interested in [TS]

  what was underneath it and I would go to [TS]

  these places on the globe and I would [TS]

  zoom in on these dark forests and then [TS]

  they had decided that because these [TS]

  forests were either a just empty forest [TS]

  or be forests concealing special [TS]

  installations that you could assume in [TS]

  on him it was just it was like that's [TS]

  just green green side that whoo-hoo-hoo [TS]

  decide that now again I'm not gonna let [TS]

  Howard Hughes into this but I know there [TS]

  are ways that you can send specially [TS]

  coded messages through a variety of [TS]

  people so that there is no backwards [TS]

  contamination of fake appetite us from a [TS]

  man with cancer and a variety of ways [TS]

  you can it was called a paddle out of 50 [TS]

  Kleenexes i know that there are ways [TS]

  that you can handle these things and a [TS]

  is there a way to ensure that there's [TS]

  the right brush coverage for [TS]

  installation and be who sends who holds [TS]

  the paddle tissues in their hand to let [TS]

  someone know that that installation [TS]

  needs to be reformatted what'swhat's [TS]

  Google's motto uh oh that don't be evil [TS]

  don't be evil who write so take it as [TS]

  read if you assume that if your motto is [TS]

  don't be evil that google is never evil [TS]

  we can only be whoo-hoo lot models got [TS]

  to be true right i mean absolutely not [TS]

  it's in the name monocytes precisely [TS]

  it's it's a it's by definition google [TS]

  has never been evil and so they cannot [TS]

  have possibly collaborated right in in [TS]

  in smudging out there map program with [TS]

  evil forces or people that have secret [TS]

  installations in the forest so it has to [TS]

  be either a just a coincidence be an [TS]

  accident so for baby you know there's [TS]

  your thumb thumb smudge on the lens lips [TS]

  or uh or the or it's like a Stuxnet [TS]

  thing where the government has great [TS]

  here we go as written aspects not [TS]

  program stuff net program this is the [TS]

  one that's gonna be the one john blurbs [TS]

  out all their secret forest background [TS]

  check a small bag you got about 40 [TS]

  seconds to pick that he getting I don't [TS]

  have a small bag that commander we were [TS]

  we were spotted all pick forged wire her [TS]

  treachery and looks like a swimming pool [TS]

  might have to bring it over [TS]

  I've got it I've got a safe room I've [TS]

  got a I've got a decoy safe route [TS]

  haha i have a tunnel under the street [TS]

  and I have it all away from this place [TS]

  setting aside Howard use this is why I'm [TS]

  obsessed with this it seems very [TS]

  important John having IC having a safe [TS]

  room [TS]

  yeah they're just gonna burn it down [TS]

  around you i was trying to explain the [TS]

  very little bit that I understand about [TS]

  security to people and what's that [TS]

  what's that one that was the term that [TS]

  they use okay for example try to explain [TS]

  to my friend how I think about security [TS]

  and as a demonstration we were in like a [TS]

  little green room conference room thing [TS]

  I took I took six paper cups and I put [TS]

  them on a table and I said which one has [TS]

  the million dollars under it you have [TS]

  one guess [TS]

  and he said I have no idea so I [TS]

  surreptitiously took one of the cups and [TS]

  drew a giant lock on it and said this is [TS]

  locked and then I move them all around i [TS]

  said ok which one of those as [TS]

  million-dollar after it and and it the [TS]

  one with the law [TS]

  oddly enough he picked them with the [TS]

  giant fucking lock on it my concern [TS]

  somebody goes out and they spend like [TS]

  probably 4,000 29 million dollars on a [TS]

  safe room you could probably buy a pro [TS]

  very nice safe room right yeah but do [TS]

  you think the safe room is gonna come [TS]

  it's gonna cost you fifty thousand [TS]

  dollars for the base model [TS]

  yeah yeah it's like it's like a [TS]

  Rorschach finding the comedian's costume [TS]

  he's gonna go make sure the closet [TS]

  he's going to see at like a medieval [TS]

  horror style huh that's kind of weird [TS]

  there's an extra like couple inches here [TS]

  I wonder what's going on here you can [TS]

  get a fucking blueprint of any house in [TS]

  America that's not going to be hard i [TS]

  think what you need isn't as an [TS]

  obviously overstock super obvious but [TS]

  secret enough safe room and that net [TS]

  becomes sure that becomes your trap your [TS]

  trap room right wrap from craft room [TS]

  they go there and they think he's gotta [TS]

  be in here somewhere and they spent 15 [TS]

  hours with an arc welder trying to break [TS]

  in through your vintage safe door i'm [TS]

  not giving away too much here now [TS]

  vintage and vintage can be a very long [TS]

  time John and and in fact you're safe [TS]

  room is just it's just this ikea bed but [TS]

  had a hinge on it that led to a stairway [TS]

  that's kind and that's here [TS]

  hey nobody's gonna look under the ikea [TS]

  but that's not the first place you're [TS]

  gonna look you know my whole life this [TS]

  has become kind of a thing now to like [TS]

  have a house with you know [TS]

  oh if you're rich person your bookcase [TS]

  can turn around like I can take on how [TS]

  much my entire life i have wanted to [TS]

  have tunnels in my house and under my [TS]

  house I think every single listener [TS]

  robbery gone that has survived this far [TS]

  yeah probably has a desire to have a [TS]

  bookcase that opens to reveal a secret [TS]

  room or or a fake secret room [TS]

  ah no no no i think absolutely right i [TS]

  bet i bet all of us either on our desk [TS]

  or in our head or in an undisclosed [TS]

  location and I do have the domain name [TS]

  undisclosed location com [TS]

  actually um you somewhere you have you [TS]

  have a jar that if it is not full of [TS]

  your own urine for sanitary reasons [TS]

  probably is full of pocket change [TS]

  because you're saving up to fucking [TS]

  retrofit whatever you live in to have [TS]

  tunnels [TS]

  I I was like having a slide would be [TS]

  nice now in the professor is so nice [TS]

  this is very important professor X's [TS]

  mansion they have escaped tunnels so [TS]

  that the Sentinels are or striker comes [TS]

  to have a way to get out [TS]

  I don't understand at this point in my [TS]

  life I don't understand I'm 45 years old [TS]

  and living in a place with two means of [TS]

  egress both of which are exposed [TS]

  you don't know what it's like to have a [TS]

  child live with that why would i would [TS]

  be very I would prevent [TS]

  possible yeah agent my house has many [TS]

  many ground floor excellence your house [TS]

  hmm you just be really should be real [TS]

  careful about this but the room that I [TS]

  slept in that last couple nights [TS]

  yeah it occurred to me that that that [TS]

  room is kind of the center of the house [TS]

  even though it feels like the least [TS]

  important room in the house there's one [TS]

  room we can zip through it and you're [TS]

  almost you're almost anywhere in the [TS]

  house including upstairs in a second [TS]

  yeah and you'll notice you may not [TS]

  notice this I should probably shouldn't [TS]

  reveal this we can cut it out will end [TS]

  up we're gonna end up cutting out pretty [TS]

  much everything except Hodgman breaking [TS]

  your ukulele but that room has as a [TS]

  variety of motion detectors in it [TS]

  food because even though it is the least [TS]

  important room in the house even though [TS]

  it appears to be the least important [TS]

  room in the house you would no matter [TS]

  where you were in the house you would [TS]

  end up passing through that room [TS]

  triggering the motion detectors [TS]

  aah so when I was this motion detectors [TS]

  around my house [TS]

  sure I noticed you had their little bit [TS]

  what out of period and a krista connect [TS]

  the reverse the mechanistic I noticed [TS]

  that you have several very difficult to [TS]

  notice motion detectors and you can put [TS]

  them in places where it's like oh well [TS]

  here I'm protecting my whatever my boot [TS]

  collection who but that's not what you [TS]

  to be put motion detectors in places [TS]

  where people think that they will be [TS]

  passing on observed you put them in [TS]

  places where people are like oh well [TS]

  just you know take a shortcut through [TS]

  here like uh-huh right exactly is this [TS]

  kind of helped enough tactics have been [TS]

  upto can write like all i need to do or [TS]

  like for that matter in a big brother [TS]

  all i have to do is make you have a [TS]

  plausible gut feeling that you either [TS]

  are being watched or more likely could [TS]

  be being watched [TS]

  often enough right you only need to [TS]

  point at you is a tinted window [TS]

  whoo-hoo nothing has to be behind it who [TS]

  as long as there's a tinted window there [TS]

  the the suspicion that someone is behind [TS]

  it watching you who mmm well that's good [TS]

  and so who and so that room I was that [TS]

  were me I would fortify that room is the [TS]

  panopticon room [TS]

  panopticon it is kind of at the center [TS]

  to that's right well in any case it was [TS]

  it was it was amazing to get to see all [TS]

  the stuff firsthand [TS]

  he will restore your chili it was it was [TS]

  absolutely amazed and full of swords you [TS]

  know I had a brief was gonna pay was a [TS]

  foil whatever I didn't think you had a [TS]

  saber yes gotta attack me with a sword [TS]

  he did and he gave you and he he he [TS]

  actually threw you a sword movement said [TS]

  defend yourself i started crying what's [TS]

  called a sword was a very uncomfortable [TS]

  a very short sword fight [TS]

  yeah he's very thin bones guys you know [TS]

  he's very small tumor so it makes it [TS]

  hard for him to breathe so you and and [TS]

  Scotty exactly directly connect the trap [TS]

  streets [TS]

  yes absolutely yeah he's got Simpson and [TS]

  and john hodgman and jonathan coulton [TS]

  and Kathleen Edwards and four for a [TS]

  brief period even Jonathan Colton's [TS]

  performed henchmen Scarface who were all [TS]

  staying in my house at once [TS]

  it should have worked there's no reason [TS]

  in the world should have worked but a [TS]

  but in fact it did you kept finding more [TS]

  places for people to sleep that maybe it [TS]

  kind of made me think I realized by the [TS]

  time that everybody was there it was [TS]

  getting to be close quarters [TS]

  even though you have to you know at [TS]

  least two bathtubs that you'll discuss [TS]

  and numerous numerous you know restroom [TS]

  facilities I kept thinking I keep a [TS]

  little bit like MOOCs in a phone booth I [TS]

  kind of started to wonder how many more [TS]

  delist entertainmentcelebrities could [TS]

  potentially sleep in this house that [TS]

  there's more room if you need it but [TS]

  when i was considering is there there's [TS]

  absolutely room for more bends I just [TS]

  haven't I don't want my I don't want my [TS]

  house to look like a safe house you know [TS]

  what I mean like I what I don't know [TS]

  you're saying somebody comes in with [TS]

  like some kind of extra heat vision [TS]

  goggles they see 35 days they're gonna [TS]

  have questions [TS]

  yeah exactly and i kinda wanna take a [TS]

  look at the harriet tubman of indie rock [TS]

  i hope you feel like it looks right I'm [TS]

  not running an underground where at [TS]

  railroad for people whose careers were [TS]

  on the rock haha i'm a i-i-i i'm i'm [TS]

  running a house here and I wanted to [TS]

  look like a nice house that us so that [TS]

  like a somewhat normal bachelor lives [TS]

  who in by himself or with with various [TS]

  you know operatives but I don't want I [TS]

  don't want but I don't want to [TS]

  don't want to seem like the like the [TS]

  let's go to the mattresses scene in The [TS]

  Godfather know where it's just it's 15 [TS]

  guys cleaning their shotguns what I want [TS]

  that's not saying that I know and what I [TS]

  want like guarantee no I don't think [TS]

  what I want without without doing is no [TS]

  it was we learned during that that that [TS]

  that intense time I i agree with you [TS]

  know here's the other thing like if [TS]

  you're one of those idiots trying to [TS]

  fucking grow weed in your house your [TS]

  electric bill is going to go through the [TS]

  roof and and the black helicopters are [TS]

  going to be shooting things at your [TS]

  house where you will actually be a big [TS]

  red glowing ball of ultraviolence [TS]

  ultraviolence alright you know square [TS]

  lights this regret this girl likes to [TS]

  throw out a lot of wattage doing and if [TS]

  I understand that from a black ops [TS]

  helicopter you could actually you can [TS]

  actually see with a heat scanner dealing [TS]

  with a technical term you can actually [TS]

  see who's growing wheat yeah they use [TS]

  their heat scanner dealers [TS]

  is that true I mean what you can say i [TS]

  heard that story I've heard DEA guys can [TS]

  do that absolutely can [TS]

  although although there's some kind of [TS]

  uh I think that they could say I think [TS]

  it's past the search warrant question of [TS]

  like hey we're not we're just running [TS]

  are our infrared cameras over the town [TS]

  looking for people who are who haven't [TS]

  insulated there i don't think that would [TS]

  be admissible in evidence [TS]

  I like you I i am an amateur attorney i [TS]

  don't think that I'm not but I'm not an [TS]

  amateur litigator I do mostly amateur [TS]

  contract work but as yet I believe that [TS]

  the thing is now it whatever you can see [TS]

  from outside somebody's house with [TS]

  normal vision and so forth this is fair [TS]

  game but with the with infrared cameras [TS]

  that would that would be across the line [TS]

  you think 2012 that's normal vision [TS]

  I'm know exactly especially if you have [TS]

  to settle built a purpose robot that [TS]

  that you know what about listening you [TS]

  know you can like hear vibrations you [TS]

  can certainly identify the right now I'm [TS]

  he you can hear you're not alone my [TS]

  friend you start you start watching that [TS]

  how he's moving start reading that bio [TS]

  everyone else no no i've i've gone down [TS]

  the howard hughes myself and i had i [TS]

  climbed back out and barely made it out [TS]

  with my clothes were shredded the future [TS]

  yeah but you remember as we were sitting [TS]

  in the garden have [TS]

  a high-level conference but there was a [TS]

  strange scenario where this guy's were [TS]

  feeling full military helicopters and [TS]

  low-flying Navy Jets i braid you're [TS]

  gonna bring this up because I feel as [TS]

  though I may be and not by your design I [TS]

  feel like I'm being deeply drawn into [TS]

  your world because I was a witness to [TS]

  planes that weren't there I was witness [TS]

  to buy your account i believe it was it [TS]

  four to six unmarked Navy planes they [TS]

  had a piece of the call sign on the tail [TS]

  that might have been made up but they [TS]

  were otherwise unmarked and sometimes [TS]

  you can even see them and it but you [TS]

  live by the airport if I could say not [TS]

  super near the airport kinda wanna do it [TS]

  I would i do that by the airport but [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  do you know anybody who lives by an [TS]

  airport where there are invisible [TS]

  helicopters i knows you were witness to [TS]

  invisible helicopters John there's no [TS]

  fucking question I was witness to that I [TS]

  know people who live near airports [TS]

  I know people who see invisible things [TS]

  and I know a lot of people who hear [TS]

  things that may or may not be there but [TS]

  I was fucking witness in your yard with [TS]

  a cup of coffee a lot of coffee I was [TS]

  witness to with your assistance numerous [TS]

  very suspicious Terran you know your [TS]

  earthling what appeared to be earthling [TS]

  aerospace devices that were right things [TS]

  were wrong person were behaving in a way [TS]

  that was that was inherently suspicious [TS]

  right I understand the Doppler effect i [TS]

  understand the Doppler effect i know how [TS]

  that works [TS]

  I understand that you see the lightning [TS]

  then hear the Thunder I understand that [TS]

  but we had a clear vision of the clear [TS]

  skies and I swear to Christ I think [TS]

  there were some decoy noises I think [TS]

  there may have been some stealth copters [TS]

  I don't have a way of explaining this [TS]

  but but you know you here's the thing [TS]

  you expect to see 129 of those in a year [TS]

  and I think we saw about 16 in a day [TS]

  well as i said to you and I think I've [TS]

  said before if you were a UFO how would [TS]

  you describe yourself if not as a a a [TS]

  regular jet but just one that has no [TS]

  markings i thought about it constantly [TS]

  can I just say you would not write on a [TS]

  paper cup i'm fucking UFO no you [TS]

  wouldn't and also i am I my suspicion is [TS]

  that these aircraft actually have [TS]

  aircraft sound broadcasting technology [TS]

  who where they are there they're [TS]

  throwing they're basically throwing [TS]

  their voices throwing their airplane [TS]

  voices [TS]

  so that because the thing is that by [TS]

  living button it living by the airport I [TS]

  am witness to dozens of jets a day that [TS]

  behave like normal jets and they sound [TS]

  like normal Jets and the jet flies and [TS]

  it sounds like it's the sound is coming [TS]

  from the jet but then there are these [TS]

  periods these strange periods when all [TS]

  of a sudden they're they're black hawk [TS]

  helicopters all around with her and then [TS]

  their jets flying but then there are [TS]

  other there the sound of Jets coming [TS]

  from all around and no jets at all [TS]

  e because they're throwing their voices [TS]

  well there's no John let's let's look at [TS]

  the facts here could you not probably [TS]

  tell more or less if you somewhere on [TS]

  your block is someone shot a pistol you [TS]

  could have a pretty i'm guessing you [TS]

  would have a pretty good idea what [TS]

  caliber of pistol that was whenever [TS]

  someone on my block shoots a pistol [TS]

  whenever sorry and it's you know and [TS]

  it's it's not all the time [TS]

  have a good day a regular enough that it [TS]

  really are either either it's ramadan or [TS]

  there's a wedding or uh something that's [TS]

  the end of that somebody just got to get [TS]

  away the natural result of a wedding our [TS]

  aura somebody just got laid off from [TS]

  their job or in the case the most recent [TS]

  does the most recent gun that was fired [TS]

  in my neighborhood was that my next-door [TS]

  neighbor went into his daughter's room [TS]

  in the middle of the night to find a [TS]

  teenage boy there with her and the [TS]

  teenage boy jumped out the window onto [TS]

  the roof and my neighbor he was her [TS]

  guest he was our guest okay my and the [TS]

  teenage girl was telling her dad don't [TS]

  know no and he ran out into the street [TS]

  and the teenage boy was running up the [TS]

  street and he fired [TS]

  I a handful of a of 32 rounds into the [TS]

  sky is that a Saturday night special [TS]

  that's a well yeah basically took with [TS]

  police police special [TS]

  ok and so you know this is like four [TS]

  thirty in the morning which is kinda [TS]

  right in my that's in my afternoon and [TS]

  so I was able to be at my window and [TS]

  know how many shots yet last i was able [TS]

  to be at my window and you know and pen [TS]

  and ready [TS]

  to engage fully ready to engage whoever [TS]

  it was and it was my neighbor standing [TS]

  in the street in his underwear shooting [TS]

  his gun in the air and I went oh alright [TS]

  well dad I'm not needed here [TS]

  well apparently he's got he's got the [TS]

  uniform his eyes got real well in hand [TS]

  he's got the yeah he's got the uniform [TS]

  of underwear and gun about 30 minutes [TS]

  later [TS]

  this is now five o'clock in the morning [TS]

  there the street is full of cop cars [TS]

  because somebody called him not me and [TS]

  he's my neighbor is out there stone his [TS]

  underwear explaining himself to these [TS]

  cops and it isn't long before they're [TS]

  all laughing and slapping each other on [TS]

  the back and it's a it's a big you know [TS]

  big hoedown out there and they you know [TS]

  they wag their fingers at him and oh you [TS]

  and he had it goes back inside and the [TS]

  cops drive off and I'm like interesting [TS]

  so I don't see him for a couple of days [TS]

  but the next time I run into him I k [TS]

  what was that all about these techniques [TS]

  he tells me the story and it all seems [TS]

  it all seems perfectly normal [TS]

  that is a that is an incident that [TS]

  that's an example of what I could [TS]

  consider just the normal firearm [TS]

  discharge that goes along with with the [TS]

  with living in this part of town but now [TS]

  that the police are testing their [TS]

  automatic weapons down the hill [TS]

  it is it is just it is disturbing my [TS]

  ability to locate and identify normal [TS]

  gunfire oh and their food [TS]

  not a lot of people neighborhood that [TS]

  might be just unnerving but for you that [TS]

  is adding if I may say noise as satin [TS]

  noise static precisely [TS]

  yeah I i mentioned it the other day on [TS]

  Twitter like the police are are testing [TS]

  their I mean there that they didn't used [TS]

  to didn't use to fire automatic weapons [TS]

  they sat down there at their gun range [TS]

  and then went PAP PAP PAP but now they [TS]

  feel outgunned or something and they're [TS]

  down there with with machine guns [TS]

  and you know that obviously it only [TS]

  happens for a little bit for a little [TS]

  bit you know once it runs every few days [TS]

  they decide to unleash a fusillade who [TS]

  but uh but it really is you know usually [TS]

  in this neighborhood when you heard [TS]

  automatic weapons [TS]

  that's when you knew that the that [TS]

  someone was having a dispute that some [TS]

  young people are having a dispute I [TS]

  might have been about real estate or [TS]

  commerce it would be it would be [TS]

  something that would be a real estate [TS]

  problem a commerce problem it might be [TS]

  it might be a romantic [TS]

  Oh issue i mean obviously young people [TS]

  and machine guns is inherently romantic [TS]

  oh but uh but anyway so that so the [TS]

  police are kind of their coming up my [TS]

  game and I believe it's another example [TS]

  of looks like they're throwing sound [TS]

  they're throwing sound at me in order to [TS]

  confuse and disrupt by my normal [TS]

  perception [TS]

  yeah it's one thing to play a van Halen [TS]

  to Manuel Noriega because I who knows [TS]

  whether he's a fan yeah i think you [TS]

  would probably be mostly okay with that [TS]

  it's hot for teacher you might want to [TS]

  just dig in you know and then make some [TS]

  more coffee when they were explaining [TS]

  that they were that they were trying to [TS]

  irritate manuel noriega by playing van [TS]

  halen really loud I was like how at that [TS]

  that was right at the age where you and [TS]

  I brought both probably were like what [TS]

  that sounds amazing right they actually [TS]

  play in Panama right yeah well that's a [TS]

  link that little that's a little on the [TS]

  news [TS]

  it's a little on the nose but they were [TS]

  playing it through some army grade hifi [TS]

  system this year we have special hi-fi's [TS]

  name i'm sorry if you can say i'm pretty [TS]

  sure the arm that the Army has Wi-Fi [TS]

  technology that the rest of us can only [TS]

  dream of [TS]

  well it seems like my boy is gonna guess [TS]

  this is exactly around sound for years [TS]

  weaponizing the Browns I spend so much [TS]

  in my day worrying about when the Browns [TS]

  every time I hear a train coming I'm [TS]

  thinking that's it this is the brown [TS]

  sound this is going to be disruptive [TS]

  like I need a fucking brown sound mind [TS]

  you know what they would test it out on [TS]

  San Francisco to that's the first place [TS]

  with or maybe they would have it [TS]

  shootout at the non-existent playing the [TS]

  mayor may not really be there there's a [TS]

  question to you were you there i believe [TS]

  you were there when something either to [TS]

  my friends my friends find this either [TS]

  supernatural or i find it embarrassing [TS]

  were you there when a truck [TS]

  was heard outside your house and call me [TS]

  service i was able to identify which [TS]

  delivery service it was always just [TS]

  brilliant [TS]

  yeah you were really you identified by [TS]

  the by the sound of the diesel motor and [TS]

  the way the truck drove to see here this [TS]

  is the beauty of expertise I can't tell [TS]

  you why the roast beef weighs five [TS]

  pounds all i know is that the recipe for [TS]

  his five pounds right you did you use [TS]

  fedex that he said fedex and we all [TS]

  walked around the side of the house and [TS]

  sure enough it was a fedex truck the [TS]

  weekend and we were like oh I'm really [TS]

  good at it but the thing is that [TS]

  listening to that motor to mean as a [TS]

  non-expert who that could have been a [TS]

  garbage truck it could have been us [TS]

  it could've been you use certainly be [TS]

  forgiven for sandbagging here John but I [TS]

  i do think you're I think you're [TS]

  sandbagging I i well anyway let's not [TS]

  get into it but I'm really good at UPS [TS]

  versus a postal service the the united [TS]

  states postal service they have a very [TS]

  very recognizable sound to them and I [TS]

  think also ok here you ready for this [TS]

  year's to their motor crazy maybe you [TS]

  know like you go by we will talk about [TS]

  this with suits like you gonna get a [TS]

  previous now it's got to fit Carson on [TS]

  it [TS]

  skeuomorphism right trying to make so [TS]

  excited about that such an interesting [TS]

  idea John everything is related [TS]

  are you aware that it really everything [TS]

  is related [TS]

  yes that's my it's on my family crashed [TS]

  right after right after roast beef [TS]

  sandwich to keep that in the real safe [TS]

  room if you can say yeah I'm so I was [TS]

  working on the crest okay here's the [TS]

  thing i get i'm sorry to say so many [TS]

  deliveries of various kinds right [TS]

  no we were discussing this that you you [TS]

  have you are taking advantage of the new [TS]

  economy who haha [TS]

  more than anything I am ruining the [TS]

  environment excuse me [TS]

  so you are someone who would rather have [TS]

  uh you'd rather have his toilet paper [TS]

  delivered for warehouse and China towels [TS]

  and paper parasols flown across the [TS]

  country and hand delivered to your door [TS]

  if it was if it's three cents cheaper [TS]

  then then then you would go down to the [TS]

  corner grocery store and John if it were [TS]

  twenty dollars more i still do it just [TS]

  because i want to offset all of this [TS]

  green stuff that's going on [TS]

  so yeah you literally order your toilet [TS]

  paper from a warehouse in Kentucky and [TS]

  have it have it delivered hand-delivered [TS]

  to this is this is the kind of thing [TS]

  that should be in books what i do should [TS]

  be in books because it is so appalling [TS]

  on so many levels that it's the thing [TS]

  kind of thing that people will [TS]

  eventually write about his company based [TS]

  in Seattle called Amazon that i use [TS]

  amazon.com is their web address on the [TS]

  web [TS]

  apparently they are there turns out [TS]

  taking over the internet according to [TS]

  Wired magazine [TS]

  oh they are with you we were there when [TS]

  you got a picture taken with the [TS]

  functional and i showed you those [TS]

  lockers [TS]

  ya can't seem to have same-day delivery [TS]

  so long so long Bob's comics [TS]

  okay so here's the thing i hate Bob and [TS]

  I was such a dick i hate box camera [TS]

  smaller I hate Bob's hobby shop [TS]

  hey don't box camera store was actually [TS]

  they helped me out but secure for prime [TS]

  ones my dad service pistol for more to i [TS]

  still havent and he had never cleaned it [TS]

  as far as I could tell us ever since [TS]

  he's just the bluing anecdote [TS]

  yeah ever since he moved out of the ever [TS]

  since we moved out of them maybe since [TS]

  he left the Navy but I took it into this [TS]

  gun shop called Bob Bob guns [TS]

  this is that is all this story already [TS]

  about how much loss today because the [TS]

  blooming in this rebuilding the [TS]

  seventies [TS]

  well yeah but was what was amazing about [TS]

  it was I walk into this place with a gun [TS]

  kind of in my jacket and I walk over and [TS]

  I'm like I put it down on the table and [TS]

  I'm like you know hey I don't know how [TS]

  to I don't think about this gun I don't [TS]

  know how to clean it and I want to know [TS]

  how to clean it i want to know how to [TS]

  take it apart and they were they all [TS]

  gathered around and they strip this gun [TS]

  down to like just the just then the the [TS]

  nuts and washers you know and the guy [TS]

  walks me through the process of of [TS]

  cleaning it [TS]

  it's like field stripping it cleaning it [TS]

  and putting it back together and he does [TS]

  it for me like four times [TS]

  real slow like here's how you do it you [TS]

  can look it up he knows he is somebody [TS]

  comes in with it with a sixty-year-old [TS]

  45 and any and he just goes on to say to [TS]

  them [TS]

  absolutely and every and all the guys [TS]

  behind the counter they're all have to [TS]

  react to read the instructions on how to [TS]

  change my tire every time these guys [TS]

  look at their that the things they are [TS]

  exactly the guys that run comic book [TS]

  stores they're the same guys there [TS]

  heavyset guys [TS]

  justice there's there's there's a vast [TS]

  although these vests are like bristling [TS]

  with guns but they do they have the same [TS]

  vest have the same kind of like they're [TS]

  there they're losing their hair but [TS]

  they've got some hair and its kind of [TS]

  that's likes just plastered down with [TS]

  sweat they have a beard that's trimmed [TS]

  kind of it they trimmed it kind of kind [TS]

  of clothes but then some haven't shaved [TS]

  in a few days so the hair is kind of [TS]

  going back and and they brought that [TS]

  same expertise to this thing where the [TS]

  again and the guy I wasn't there to buy [TS]

  anything I wasn't there I I that we had [TS]

  no commercial interaction of any kind [TS]

  he just spent a half an hour teaching me [TS]

  really slowly how to field strip and put [TS]

  back together that field trip cleaning [TS]

  and reassemble this gun and it was [TS]

  because he loved it and I was so I i'm [TS]

  still so grateful to that guy and that [TS]

  was that was a place called Bob's guns [TS]

  you know I'm sorry I apologize that 1000 [TS]

  cuz it's not Hobbs the whole Bob [TS]

  enterprise like at bobs cameras Bob's [TS]

  bugs comic books [TS]

  you're right i don't care about this [TS]

  well it's just certain things that I [TS]

  mean I don't want to be reductive as you [TS]

  know I never want to be reductive w you [TS]

  are not ever reductive know now a look [TS]

  you know I its there's a certain type [TS]

  you know and and i think that one of the [TS]

  extreme examples can be at the comic [TS]

  book guy right not simply the 12 steps [TS]

  and speakers i did you send you a link [TS]

  Herman the guy who runs the gun store on [TS]

  the simpsons i think is pretty close to [TS]

  what you're talking about and I live up [TS]

  to it and square alliance as quickly and [TS]

  are you talking about a sk valiance [TS]

  being the wolf avoidance everyone's [TS]

  official responsibilities that what [TS]

  you're talking about so excited about is [TS]

  covalent is covalent isn't a great word [TS]

  school of aliens who is very great word [TS]

  but anyway you were saying about the [TS]

  jury that surveillance meeting about it [TS]

  and I'd i'm very excited I kind of feel [TS]

  like it should be [TS]

  I kind of feel like that should be an [TS]

  easter egg who bowl that's a good idea [TS]

  yeah yeah no soap radio that's good well [TS]

  let's check this legislation to also [TS]

  check the door um before [TS]

  so your usual us welcome welcome roger [TS]

  wilco attendance can you explain to me [TS]

  your your interest in in radio [TS]

  terminology or is that so sure I can [TS]

  shrink and I can also there [TS]

  oh no no i don't think so i could I [TS]

  little bit i can also discuss my amazon [TS]

  workflow we can talk about chili was [TS]

  much more interested in your amazon [TS]

  relational you know i believe was on the [TS]

  show that we were discussing discussing [TS]

  some of these matters and my interest in [TS]

  what's called voice procedure for you [TS]

  and a friend a friend of the show i [TS]

  believe was the show but a friend sent [TS]

  along a fan tastic PDF that i will 40 in [TS]

  case you missed it which is this very [TS]

  very long document of pretty much [TS]

  everything I've ever wanted to know [TS]

  about all of that stuff a bunch of stuff [TS]

  about how to identify like when you're [TS]

  making a little map in the sand and make [TS]

  square here and here's what we know [TS]

  about happening it's all how to do that [TS]

  army stuff i wish i knew about yeah and [TS]

  I think it might even have what I've [TS]

  been looking for for years and I there's [TS]

  no way i can show you what i'm doing [TS]

  right now but imagine I'm squatting not [TS]

  and I've got camouflage camo makeup i [TS]

  believe they got it and imagine that [TS]

  there's a bunch of guys with me there's [TS]

  some guys over there and other guys over [TS]

  there and using my hand signals pointing [TS]

  at my eyes and sticking up a certain [TS]

  number of fingers I give directions [TS]

  right I want to know what the fuck that [TS]

  is and how I can do it well you know I [TS]

  have a cousin named for that is their [TS]

  special forces handbook here and I [TS]

  should have made a should have made a [TS]

  copy of it for you can even do that this [TS]

  page is your occipital is it in like [TS]

  blue ink or anything [TS]

  oh good good point no I think they are [TS]

  xerox people that release that might [TS]

  release I you know can I apologize for [TS]

  the hierarchies concerns that might upon [TS]

  upon exposure to bright light like you [TS]

  would have any say goodnight clear [TS]

  yeah yeah well I wondered why we can [TS]

  raise money it might it might actually [TS]

  release some kind of a subtle gas that [TS]

  would enable black ops to see that you [TS]

  tried 20 special optimal I don't make it [TS]

  weird [TS]

  well you know the special ops manual has [TS]

  a lot of a lot of like your tiger trap [TS]

  instructions haha i need that I [TS]

  that one thing it doesn't look like it [TS]

  doesn't talk about is whether the book [TS]

  itself is a tiger trap [TS]

  well see this is the thing I think this [TS]

  is the trap Street us are my best friend [TS]

  everyday job in a thousand times when [TS]

  conventional warfare manual this is [TS]

  something i need to read I should [TS]

  probably also be waterboarded not a lot [TS]

  like a little bit you know I think [TS]

  everybody in America should be [TS]

  waterboarded a little bit just to [TS]

  experience what it just to experience [TS]

  like what what is when they should cost [TS]

  which they pay for that would be a lady [TS]

  doing it i think there should i think [TS]

  there should be a little Korean lady at [TS]

  the airport [TS]

  whoo-hoo right next to the massage [TS]

  tables a small like Linda hunt sized em [TS]

  small enough that she needs to stand on [TS]

  a on a overturn milk crate to properly [TS]

  waterboard a big man but it'd be [TS]

  something that as your cuz you're coming [TS]

  you're your there at the airport you got [TS]

  45 minutes before your flight [TS]

  I looks like one of those creepy massage [TS]

  tables yeah you go get somebody to pour [TS]

  water down your throat while they're [TS]

  holding a cheese cloth over your face so [TS]

  you gotta just so you get a sense of [TS]

  what I have a real different sense of [TS]

  that the feeling of that I know it no [TS]

  matter what its gonna be horrible and [TS]

  ice cream for them to stop but i think i [TS]

  would scream differently depending on [TS]

  who is doing I'm like a lie to you [TS]

  hmm i bet this popular in Germany but [TS]

  not with water you mean like if somebody [TS]

  was waterboarding you but they were also [TS]

  kind of cradling your balls they call it [TS]

  as i said board is important it's [TS]

  important no way that would be still be [TS]

  Swedish I guess anyway [TS]

  god dammit this is gonna suck we're [TS]

  gonna rock this episode John there's [TS]

  just too much here what one of the [TS]

  questions that i have for you at [TS]

  somebody who has done multiple multiple [TS]

  multiple podcast who I feel that we are [TS]

  getting into a place where neither you [TS]

  nor I can fully separate our real-life [TS]

  interactions our podcast interactions [TS]

  and our other the daily conversation so [TS]

  that we are we're having this kind of [TS]

  this hesitancy where it's like have we [TS]

  talked about this before I know I told [TS]

  me about this before but have we now [TS]

  what do we do like personally I [TS]

  personally could care fucking less if we [TS]

  get ourselves personally personally [TS]

  alright but but I mean more insight [TS]

  about the time that I stole my dad's [TS]

  plane [TS]

  what what oh wait I've never told that [TS]

  story I never heard that story [TS]

  oh my gosh we'll get to that [TS]

  yeah i'm gonna need another stack coming [TS]

  up my game delivery truck sound my [TS]

  amazon workflow yeah now-now workflow ok [TS]

  we talked about this at length with [TS]

  scott simpson which is which is how long [TS]

  can we sustain a universe in which [TS]

  toilet paper it is getting way in which [TS]

  it is cost effective to deliver toilet [TS]

  paper and uh and paper towel yeah that [TS]

  have been flown to your town from far [TS]

  far away I i actually have I know the [TS]

  answer that until 25 years ago haha [TS]

  we're already past it so here's how this [TS]

  works I'll make this quick [TS]

  first we should mention that you that by [TS]

  the register will put this up a [TS]

  tremendous photo of taken by forget the [TS]

  clutch Scott took a wonderful photo of [TS]

  you and I in front of a pump chili / [TS]

  cheese machine at a 7-eleven I think we [TS]

  both look very handsome [TS]

  that was my local as they say in the UK [TS]

  that's your local your local 7-eleven [TS]

  and you say there's this is frequently [TS]

  some very colorful characters out there [TS]

  yeah well as we were rounding the corner [TS]

  I i prepared you guys for before like [TS]

  making it further over who we might see [TS]

  attract the Phalanx of junkies you know [TS]

  that neighborhood is one of those [TS]

  neighborhoods that 25 years ago no one [TS]

  in the city zoning office had held any [TS]

  hope out for it at all [TS]

  they were like ah this is this [TS]

  neighborhoods like really close into [TS]

  town and it has a bunch of big Victorian [TS]

  houses who's ever going to want to live [TS]

  there who [TS]

  so this is the neighborhood that we're [TS]

  gonna put all the halfway houses all the [TS]

  like you know group homes and places [TS]

  where people are have just been released [TS]

  from jail but because their level three [TS]

  sex offender we can't really release [TS]

  them into the larger population so they [TS]

  have to live together all lojacked think [TS]

  that anything like a 17-room Victoria [TS]

  favor guided by voices records hello [TS]

  Jackie the repeat offender and so that [TS]

  neighborhood as you walk down the street [TS]

  of course of course yeah [TS]

  in the intervening 20 years eighty [TS]

  percent of those large Victorian homes [TS]

  have been completely restored and now [TS]

  have young couples living in them and [TS]

  the and the sidewalk out front is [TS]

  covered with chalk drawings of [TS]

  princesses and start [TS]

  like their children each one has exactly [TS]

  one fucking obvious safe room right [TS]

  there are there are from from house to [TS]

  house you can go to bed and flags next [TS]

  house no Tibetan flags next house [TS]

  Tibetan flags and it kind of get a sense [TS]

  of who from rainbow rainbow fly-in [TS]

  princess drawing there was that there [TS]

  was the funk band playing across the [TS]

  street as we walked walked up the block [TS]

  they were good and they were polite they [TS]

  were nice they were playing out a polite [TS]

  volume for a neighborhood and then [TS]

  there's the victorian house which is a [TS]

  sex offender halfway house [TS]

  this is the one of what she spoke you [TS]

  said you said you live near a place [TS]

  within the puffy leather jacket episode [TS]

  or puffy [TS]

  yeah the unique false other guy in the [TS]

  puffy jacket you describe it with memory [TS]

  serves you have one place that is for [TS]

  dangerous people and another one that's [TS]

  for dangerous crazy people right and [TS]

  they're both they're both on the same [TS]

  block and they're both nice convenient [TS]

  sell this Amazon has to bring them [TS]

  toilet paper can you imagine the [TS]

  economies of scale to that but you know [TS]

  what they don't they they they just have [TS]

  a steady like every day it's just like a [TS]

  conveyor belt of toilet paper peanut [TS]

  butter who and things that can be made [TS]

  into shits well you know they're out in [TS]

  this they're out on the street they're [TS]

  not only are they are being held in [TS]

  these structures these structures [TS]

  couldn't hold them anyway they're just [TS]

  didn't they could like punch their way [TS]

  through the walls of these old rickety [TS]

  houses anyway so they can they tend to [TS]

  congregate out in front of that 7-eleven [TS]

  and some of them are swatting at [TS]

  imaginary bees and some of them are [TS]

  trying to secure some methadone and some [TS]

  of them are a you know are like standing [TS]

  out there really like smoking really [TS]

  angrily like they're so mad and they're [TS]

  not mad at the cigarette we've been [TS]

  angry smoker in our neighborhood you do [TS]

  always super angry and very ritualistic [TS]

  mad mad mad and smokes a cigarette all [TS]

  the way down to the butt and then like [TS]

  I'm gonna make a video and show this to [TS]

  you but he has yeah you you when you [TS]

  were in the u.s Civil Air Patrol we win [TS]

  i was in the similar but you have to do [TS]

  any drills with with rifles we did do [TS]

  some rifle drills there's my god there's [TS]

  a 16 move rifle I forget what it's [TS]

  called but indications but there's a 16 [TS]

  move rifle thing that I can still do in [TS]

  my sleep with [TS]

  it's and everything yeah boom been [TS]

  caught right it's like firearms kata [TS]

  it's like jock tick-tock pit pup keep [TS]

  both side down and up and down and over [TS]

  and imagine imagine if somebody had a [TS]

  cigarette kata or cigarette cadence I [TS]

  don't know what you call it so imagine [TS]

  this guy who's very tall and very old [TS]

  and he imagined him like starts out with [TS]

  his cigarette at waist level lit he pops [TS]

  it up at a 45-degree angle throws it at [TS]

  his face as though he's trying to aim [TS]

  for his mouth takes an angry puff pulls [TS]

  it back out and down and doing that [TS]

  repeatedly every one and a half seconds [TS]

  until the cigarette is going to stop it [TS]

  Bob chick up deep ball and you stand [TS]

  there for that restaurant on my house i [TS]

  like it like a great malignant gargoyle [TS]

  so you go in and we got the Amazon you [TS]

  got to think on amazon prime which i [TS]

  have to mention you're probably a member [TS]

  of that's a very secret organization but [TS]

  you go in for 80 bucks a year everybody [TS]

  knows this you get almost everything on [TS]

  amazon and deliver in two days for free [TS]

  or overnight for 399 and it's literally [TS]

  destroying retail America and and so [TS]

  what we do is we say you know what we [TS]

  want the costco size box of paper towels [TS]

  and we want that delivered to our home [TS]

  automatically bills for it every 30 days [TS]

  send a giant testing of paper towels or [TS]

  house which on the face of it almost [TS]

  sounds innocuous until you really think [TS]

  about the fact that somebody took a made [TS]

  some cardboard wrap paper around it [TS]

  yeah and I wrap plastic around six of [TS]

  those right put six of those in a [TS]

  cardboard box and then somewhere in reno [TS]

  nevada that is put on a truck and is [TS]

  driven to my home so we pay to have [TS]

  paper delivered to our house it's [TS]

  basically could we please have a monthly [TS]

  box of things to throw away and just do [TS]

  you just tell me do you uh I'm guessing [TS]

  that at the end of every month you have [TS]

  you very seldom make your way all the [TS]

  way through that gross of toilet paper [TS]

  whatever i'd like to lap now I think it [TS]

  should be clean clean start yeah you so [TS]

  so you don't have a few there's not a [TS]

  closet in the house where toilet papers [TS]

  be stockpiling and and pretty soon you [TS]

  have like the years worth in there like [TS]

  roll it roll over sheets [TS]

  yeah like the leftover rolls who [TS]

  who like rollover minutes like rui we're [TS]

  not going to have what we have extra [TS]

  rolls that would go into our third [TS]

  safehouse bathroom we have rollover [TS]

  minutes and in in your toilet paper [TS]

  here's the thing once you become a paper [TS]

  towel person in my sense is that you are [TS]

  i was a parsimonious i would say given [TS]

  the high extremely high quality of the [TS]

  paper towels that you use those blue [TS]

  ones that are like for automotive garage [TS]

  I use I use automotive garage blue paper [TS]

  to which are which can be reusable us [TS]

  it's more like at the grocery store when [TS]

  somebody throws up or think milk breaks [TS]

  and they just grabbed 50 of those roles [TS]

  and start stop and stuff but all I've [TS]

  seen matt i love that love that [TS]

  oh no no we recently moved to one that's [TS]

  half sheets and so I'm gonna look right [TS]

  now those are energy [TS]

  yeah yeah now I contrast this so [TS]

  basically I'm single-handedly ruining [TS]

  the environment [TS]

  I contrast this with my grandfather my [TS]

  my grandfather who was it was probably [TS]

  the cheapest man I ever met my life he [TS]

  was instructing me on how to wipe by [TS]

  saying that you never need more than a [TS]

  total of six sheets of single play [TS]

  total of six sheets of single play [TS]

  toilet paper to take care of your your [TS]

  bottom area [TS]

  yeah this is what is this is what I grew [TS]

  up with Jonathan Scott toilet paper and [TS]

  directions from a man from South America [TS]

  and white [TS]

  well you know between his probably bent [TS]

  his defense when he was a kid he had he [TS]

  had like a banana leaf that he carried [TS]

  with him everywhere [TS]

  yeah he's colonialists oh so he's really [TS]

  nice banana leaves [TS]

  oh well he had a rag that he had a rag [TS]

  that something was track right watch out [TS]

  for they call it a hairy Harry rag you [TS]

  got you got you got you 33 for the first [TS]

  for the first first cut and in 24 second [TS]

  time you know [TS]

  oh my god if you want to do it till it's [TS]

  bloody you you better you better get in [TS]

  there fast because that's you get six [TS]

  and that's it [TS]

  yes he was very upset with how much [TS]

  here's the other thing to a paper towels [TS]

  he had this friend so might my [TS]

  grandparents and their best friends have [TS]

  both retired from Cincinnati [TS]

  gas-electric at the same time and move [TS]

  to the same place in Florida and the [TS]

  victim to be friends for life [TS]

  John Klump you think they were having [TS]

  tea parties I i have certainly thought [TS]

  about it I've wanted my father my [TS]

  grandfather was a war criminal [TS]

  he was definitely not a dentist he came [TS]

  here to become a dentist and that never [TS]

  happened i think it was some kind of a [TS]

  jam up [TS]

  I don't know but John club became [TS]

  everything that went wrong in the house [TS]

  he would explain how John Klump did it [TS]

  better now in John Klumps house you have [TS]

  a one paper towel one paper 21 paper [TS]

  towel or napkin for lunch you fold it [TS]

  like a fucking gentleman you put it [TS]

  under your placement because you're 17 [TS]

  you have a placement and use it again at [TS]

  dinner that's how my grandfather rolled [TS]

  why haha oh he kept he kept John he kept [TS]

  a close eye on the paper now wait a [TS]

  minute give me give me the give me the [TS]

  back story on why you have any [TS]

  suspicions at all but your grandfather [TS]

  might have been a war criminal in South [TS]

  America he was he was one of those guys [TS]

  he was missing from South America or did [TS]

  he do ya simply stop over in South [TS]

  America who two things yes good question [TS]

  well you know have lost generation I [TS]

  think he was like what the found [TS]

  generation he was lucky bastards that [TS]

  was too young for war one and two old [TS]

  four World War two [TS]

  so obviously i don't think he was [TS]

  rolling daring or or such [TS]

  he his family were Colonials they were [TS]

  they were diamond people low-level [TS]

  diamond people from London who just [TS]

  happened to be in british guiana Wow [TS]

  bring johnstown turns out turns out boy [TS]

  and he could use he could use the n-word [TS]

  with abandoned [TS]

  I was really good at it he was I really [TS]

  really good at it i really want to hear [TS]

  more about him that what we get we could [TS]

  certainly get into that [TS]

  yes I all I'm saying is if I can if I [TS]

  can identify the sound of my paper [TS]

  towels arriving right yeah it was an [TS]

  exciting day that's like Christmas [TS]

  morning [TS]

  ok so my favorite towels are here the [TS]

  paper towels are here one of Howard [TS]

  Hughes had extremely detailed written [TS]

  instructions about the any kind of [TS]

  paddles you make up that you make it you [TS]

  need a certain number of paddles paddles [TS]

  are what you would use to handle things [TS]

  so if you're going to open a cabinet [TS]

  that required five Kleenexes he wrote [TS]

  these out he had I posted this on my [TS]

  internet site he had like that in public [TS]

  restrooms I know rather paper towel in [TS]

  my hand here he had three pages single [TS]

  spaced on how his staff was to open [TS]

  canned fruit [TS]

  listen I don't think it's healthy for [TS]

  you two to start researching Howard [TS]

  Hughes and feature it's it's too it's [TS]

  too close to feature click halfway the [TS]

  future you have to leave that alone and [TS]

  you should you should research you [TS]

  should reach research people that are [TS]

  like they're having sex parties and [TS]

  enter you know what you're there you're [TS]

  you know what it is it's too on-the-nose [TS]

  i think i think so anyway I was on a [TS]

  program the other day discussing [TS]

  obsessive-compulsive disorder and I [TS]

  didn't even realize how much of a [TS]

  certain kind of casino for example and [TS]

  I'm this is not about you accepted as [TS]

  much as it's probably about you you know [TS]

  hoarding hoarding just such an ugly word [TS]

  it's enabled store terrible word tonight [TS]

  I mean to wrap you hoarding is a form of [TS]

  OCD you know that right [TS]

  well yeah when you when you have when [TS]

  you have stacks of like old coupons and [TS]

  like empty cans of beans lying around [TS]

  that's hoarding yeah but what I'm doing [TS]

  this what I'm doing is collecting I [TS]

  think you're you're an archivist your [TS]

  historian yeah um that the only family [TS]

  only if i could get paper towels and [TS]

  toilet paper from goodwill then I think [TS]

  haha so it might be distressed but it's [TS]

  definitely not used it's probably sealed [TS]

  by as part of supertrain who my the [TS]

  initial concept of super train was that [TS]

  you would have in home recycling so that [TS]

  all you all your glass and your aluminum [TS]

  now never could have dreamed it would go [TS]

  this far [TS]

  it's not it's it's not that [TS]

  yard I you know backyard steel but it [TS]

  but it is you know you have a little you [TS]

  have a little that some holes in the [TS]

  kick in the countertop and you can you [TS]

  separate your recycling as you do now [TS]

  but instead of it being trucked away to [TS]

  some mysterious you know third location [TS]

  in the in the counter of your kitchen [TS]

  that would be the that would be the [TS]

  grinders and the master caters and its [TS]

  Lemke and then you would create the [TS]

  slurry right there and then you're [TS]

  you're in encounter recycling thing [TS]

  would you know would make new glass [TS]

  bottles [TS]

  although of course you know what I don't [TS]

  know why you would want that but let's [TS]

  say you're near encounter then then if [TS]

  when the truck pulled up out front [TS]

  you could hand them you can have them a [TS]

  compacted glass block of your green [TS]

  glass in your white glass and but you [TS]

  can make your own paper you could you [TS]

  could extract all the precious metals so [TS]

  that at the end of the month you had a [TS]

  little vial of gold and all that they [TS]

  would they would collect like the fat [TS]

  off of the George Foreman grill exactly [TS]

  you get you know there that little trace [TS]

  amount of silver the little trace amount [TS]

  of a little 10-cup you know that's [TS]

  exactly right [TS]

  ah so it is because you get me what I [TS]

  just don't understand quite all the [TS]

  details for super train which is [TS]

  probably going to be better for me but [TS]

  is there is there an extrusion involved [TS]

  we love the idea of a super tight little [TS]

  cube it's like a garbage compactor [TS]

  accepted heineken bottles or what have [TS]

  you but it could there be some basic [TS]

  extrusion where you could slurry your [TS]

  player plastics into like an as-needed [TS]

  plastic with without off-gassing or [TS]

  outgassing yeah i think i think i think [TS]

  absolutely although what what you would [TS]

  end up with what you end up with is a [TS]

  little pile of carbon and some very [TS]

  highly refined oil and you could sell [TS]

  the oil in the open market and then we [TS]

  would then you sequester the carbon and [TS]

  everybody everybody would have you know [TS]

  potentially have a little neighborhood [TS]

  carbon sink where you would you know you [TS]

  take your you take your carbon and and [TS]

  and all throw down one hole and then [TS]

  then make diamonds [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  with you know when pressed and pressed [TS]

  the carbon into until it was until [TS]

  eternity and every step of the way [TS]

  pressure of some sort is going to be [TS]

  important in the supertrain it's really [TS]

  going to be about different kinds of [TS]

  pressure of physical emotional but in [TS]

  the right place at the right time and [TS]

  eventually having some kind of a fucking [TS]

  diamond it ends up being a still it ends [TS]

  up in every house has a little still who [TS]

  and you throw everything into and you're [TS]

  the revenuer this still cooks it down [TS]

  and at the end you have some magnesium [TS]

  and you have some you know some you have [TS]

  a little bit of you know trace platinum [TS]

  and palladium menu you collect those [TS]

  things until you have enough of that of [TS]

  that to sell on the open market then you [TS]

  have oil and carbon and and you know [TS]

  hopefully fresh rolls of toilet paper [TS]

  but for reasons that will be obvious [TS]

  soon and doubt i will ever literally [TS]

  probably just delete my entire computer [TS]

  having said this it isn't fair to say [TS]

  that the slurry and extrusion process [TS]

  and the production of oil inside of the [TS]

  consumers home it's fair to say that [TS]

  that's a little bit of a trap Street [TS]

  like that's how it'll go at first and [TS]

  you go holy shit [TS]

  I've got some oil for the open market it [TS]

  just seems to me that in time [TS]

  that's something super trains gonna want [TS]

  / need I see what you mean I are you are [TS]

  you guys okay here's the thing you're a [TS]

  man who is self-sustaining right we'll [TS]

  e-mail when I wish I wish I were more [TS]

  self-sustaining looks like you moving [TS]

  closer rather than further i hope so I [TS]

  hope so that's a hermetic per se my goal [TS]

  would you like people to be [TS]

  self-sustaining or would you like to [TS]

  talk to literally become like pot people [TS]

  that you can extrude resources from well [TS]

  you see now you remember the the R crumb [TS]

  a comic strip where he draws the [TS]

  progression you have that on your wall [TS]

  I read on the wall I have a version of [TS]

  it that was done by Tony millionaire but [TS]

  the original our crumb you know he [TS]

  starts with the pastoral scene and then [TS]

  they chop down the forest that built the [TS]

  railroads and then it's a town and then [TS]

  it's a and it's a city and then it's a [TS]

  then in his estimation it was this grit [TS]

  the last panel was this gross so [TS]

  seventies reality was where he he [TS]

  clearly his editorial voice was like [TS]

  this is what it's come to [TS]

  but but in the original panel he did he [TS]

  did a couple of extra panels where he [TS]

  was like we're here [TS]

  worried he thought about the future and [TS]

  and one of his one of his future escapes [TS]

  was this classic seventies utopia where [TS]

  people were living in treehouses like [TS]

  the Swiss Family Robinson and they were [TS]

  recycling and they were and and the [TS]

  metas a version that's one version that [TS]

  that I know leftists carry around in [TS]

  their mind which is that we're all gonna [TS]

  have solar panels on the on the roofs of [TS]

  our houses and we're gonna be selling [TS]

  electricity back to the grid [TS]

  we're not only going to we are not only [TS]

  going to be self-sufficient but we're [TS]

  gonna be selling it back to the grid as [TS]

  far as super trains interest in this it [TS]

  really i think it depends on who after [TS]

  I'm gone through the next CEO talks like [TS]

  that [TS]

  don't talk like that it happens in our [TS]

  family we all pass to the great beyond [TS]

  and super train i think well while you [TS]

  know while i am the lime the font of [TS]

  supertrain I think we can trust that [TS]

  supertrain wants everyone to become more [TS]

  self-sufficient but just as super train [TS]

  arrived it reaches its kind of full [TS]

  potential that's getting my destination [TS]

  if you like that will be right well you [TS]

  know there is super train has no one [TS]

  destination but i'll be just about the [TS]

  time that i am ready to I'm ready to to [TS]

  moving on to a more pastoral life and [TS]

  who takes over super train after me the [TS]

  young people if they can I mean [TS]

  supertrain could go either way and it [TS]

  could be it could be the supertrain [TS]

  meets needs all that oil is it depends [TS]

  on what kind are green and we're looking [TS]

  for if I may say look if you want to [TS]

  kind of green and CFL light bulbs [TS]

  supertrain could kick it could go on [TS]

  this track right if we want the kind of [TS]

  green that comes from literally stealing [TS]

  refined oil from from the [TS]

  african-american families home [TS]

  that's a different kind of green that's [TS]

  a different green conceivably that you [TS]

  know there's and that's that's part of [TS]

  that's that is the case of the liberal [TS]

  imagination right there are the people [TS]

  that want the green that is represented [TS]

  by the prius with which is a kind of [TS]

  green that required that your old car [TS]

  was the old car was destroyed and this [TS]

  new car was manufactured and shipped to [TS]

  you from overseas in order that you save [TS]

  some like a [TS]

  almost done measurably small and a giant [TS]

  Chinese boat run by cheap oil so that [TS]

  you could get here and then gas in it [TS]

  right you're perfectly to save the [TS]

  environment you're perfectly fine [TS]

  fifteen-year-old honda civic that you [TS]

  could have repaired and driven for [TS]

  another 25 years you have now you've had [TS]

  crushed and recycled and you've bought a [TS]

  brand-new thing that will be shipped [TS]

  here in a coal-burning a supertanker did [TS]

  you get stops and paper towels and that [TS]

  as long as you're coming over there [TS]

  where you know like the whole bilge of [TS]

  the thing is full of black and pirates [TS]

  cranking on on big sweat wheels and it's [TS]

  like hello it's green this is green like [TS]

  it happens all the time in my [TS]

  neighborhood weather like this house [TS]

  that's a hundred and twenty years old [TS]

  that is built with completely perfect [TS]

  old-growth fur we're gonna rip this down [TS]

  and we're gonna we're gonna staple [TS]

  together this this rupee you know this [TS]

  thing made out of formaldehyde and like [TS]

  off-gassing particle board and we're [TS]

  gonna we're gonna post a sign out front [TS]

  that says green construction and people [TS]

  and we're gonna charge nine hundred [TS]

  thousand dollars apiece for these for [TS]

  these condos and that in it in people's [TS]

  imagination is some kind of net [TS]

  improvement because the new place has a [TS]

  more efficient air conditioning system [TS]

  and it's like the whatever kind of green [TS]

  that is super train is gonna eat that is [TS]

  going to eat that green is going to [TS]

  graze super train is going to turn all [TS]

  of those places back into their [TS]

  component superfine oil carbon-carbon / [TS]

  diamonds and then all the other base [TS]

  metals all the base metals and there's [TS]

  not gonna be any waste a little bit of [TS]

  Soylent Green my pic my head I people [TS]

  use every part of the population [TS]

  haha you know here's the thing in the [TS]

  Liberals that want to live in a tree [TS]

  house god bless you i think we have all [TS]

  of us all of us are these are [TS]

  intelligent people like us at one time [TS]

  or another have all been liberals [TS]

  liberals and if all wanted to live in a [TS]

  tree house [TS]

  I just would like three men out [TS]

  bookcases are you know absolutely i [TS]

  invent a real secret passage of all [TS]

  growth you know and and but but the [TS]

  thing is this interesting to me [TS]

  I'm not a historian but does strike me [TS]

  that a lot of these visions are really [TS]

  there about two blocks away from living [TS]

  on a collective in the Soviet Union and [TS]

  that is so not it's it's not a kibbutz [TS]

  it's not gonna keep trying that's some [TS]

  chuck norris talk right there [TS]

  you think so well am i doing that I [TS]

  don't know I'm just saying I mean the [TS]

  thing is what starts out as let's make [TS]

  potlucks together you know pretty soon [TS]

  you're out there you're working on a [TS]

  tractor with you like it all depends on [TS]

  who's in charge and that's the that's [TS]

  the problem simple right [TS]

  people are so excited to seed the [TS]

  responsibility for so many things to [TS]

  somebody else you know it's somebody [TS]

  else's problem somebody comes along with [TS]

  the train that's not the supertrain it's [TS]

  the one super train they go oh look i'm [TS]

  an engineer and I'm green they're gonna [TS]

  hook the fucking cars to that and just [TS]

  an end and close their eyes and think of [TS]

  England had beer and be led right down [TS]

  that that that primrose path [TS]

  whoo-hoo that you need to be able to [TS]

  identify super train from imposter [TS]

  trains have thoughts from the fall [TS]

  supertrain well and when I think I think [TS]

  we're developing were developing a [TS]

  mechanism by which people will know the [TS]

  real super train when you feel pain but [TS]

  you're grateful for it thats hanging [TS]

  super trains working here here you know [TS]

  speaking of which i was thinking about [TS]

  means of egress from your house [TS]

  yeah have you considered a zip line from [TS]

  here from your living room down to the [TS]

  rules say I have not and be my daughter [TS]

  my daughter loves ziplines i think i [TS]

  think i could sell a zip line from that [TS]

  from that from your top story down who [TS]

  to I mean the zipline could go [TS]

  conceivably all the way to the already [TS]

  seeing it I'm already seeing it i mean i [TS]

  don't feel too much right ever since we [TS]

  moved to san mateo we definitely don't [TS]

  live in san francisco where we keep [TS]

  talking about but you know I'm in the [TS]

  cisco you live in a house like ours you [TS]

  say live on the second floor you really [TS]

  have enough third floor right the first [TS]

  your way up there get the pancaking [TS]

  right because a during the earthquake it [TS]

  goes straight down together or garage on [TS]

  the bottom and [TS]

  I've been heavily gotta watch that so [TS]

  we're taking on the third floor lot of [TS]

  walking [TS]

  but here's the thing we also have the [TS]

  park we got telephone poles we got some [TS]

  you know red-tail Hawks in the park [TS]

  they'd like to sit on the telephone pole [TS]

  I'm just saying if I understand what [TS]

  you're saying week maybe we could [TS]

  disguise this as like like a comcast [TS]

  thing but there could be an innocuous [TS]

  looking cable not literally a rope even [TS]

  a cable that would attach in such a way [TS]

  that we could slide down on a zip line [TS]

  from the from the top floor the problem [TS]

  is that the city inspectors are going to [TS]

  see that eventually they're going to say [TS]

  what the hell is that what you need is a [TS]

  harpoon gun huh [TS]

  if you had a harpoon gun that was [TS]

  attached to some cable like this a big [TS]

  real of cable then if they see a harpoon [TS]

  gun coming out of our window they're not [TS]

  going to know what that is [TS]

  no nobody they're gonna think you're a [TS]

  collector they're gonna think it's some [TS]

  weird some weird San Francisco person oh [TS]

  he's got he's got he's got ladies shoes [TS]

  and chairs coming out of the side of his [TS]

  house when i wouldnĂ­t and a big harpoon [TS]

  gun in the top the top floor and you're [TS]

  like that's right i'm just a collector [TS]

  of nautical memorabilia and testing [TS]

  wailing that's right it's exactly put it [TS]

  wait a minute back after compression I [TS]

  think Mitch this as an active of [TS]

  resistance [TS]

  I may have a harpoon gun on close [TS]

  inspection but it appears to be a flag a [TS]

  Tibetan flag pole [TS]

  mm if i put it to better flag on a [TS]

  fucking harpoon outside my window [TS]

  you know what I'm gonna get I'm going to [TS]

  get the thanks of a nation under under [TS]

  dictators thumb every time that flag [TS]

  waves it sends a prayer to tell her [TS]

  freedom and then when you need it [TS]

  boom boom I I how is just my daughter on [TS]

  the safety of our poon usage she knows [TS]

  the hand signals and after i've read [TS]

  this manual i'm going to know how to [TS]

  like point of my eyes make a harpoon [TS]

  face [TS]

  hold up three fingers and she was able [TS]

  to crouch in the living room [TS]

  both of you who needed when camouflage [TS]

  and you're like it's time to initiate [TS]

  harpoon sequence one but you're saying [TS]

  all this now with my hands it with my [TS]

  hands in my eyes and my can draw a [TS]

  little square on the carpet she fires [TS]

  the harpoon gun and then you zipline [TS]

  down the cable and who cares what [TS]

  happens if my family to freedom you [TS]

  no and and you know when you first start [TS]

  started talking about wanting to go to [TS]

  was a terrible way go in a broken car [TS]

  with your daughter [TS]

  I wasn't I wasn't totally on board [TS]

  because I don't know well I wasn't [TS]

  enough I wasn't done not on board but [TS]

  now i understand it now Mike my kids a [TS]

  tiger [TS]

  I mean I I could really see I could see [TS]

  fucking shit up with her [TS]

  absolutely we might want to start some [TS]

  kind of superiority in the four of us [TS]

  i'm just saying it's like that scene at [TS]

  the end of terminator where she's [TS]

  getting gas at a she's getting gas it up [TS]

  at a gas station somewhere in the been [TS]

  like baja california and she sees the [TS]

  storm clouds on the horizon and some [TS]

  little kid takes up the a picture of her [TS]

  looking wistfully that becomes the it is [TS]

  the it's becomes the plot element for [TS]

  the whole series of films her but you [TS]

  know she's headed death she's escaping [TS]

  she's headed south [TS]

  oh and we we need to be prepared and the [TS]

  thing is you need to be prepared to do [TS]

  that in a motor vehicle that does not [TS]

  have a complicated computer-driven [TS]

  ignition system no no you're not gonna [TS]

  have computer tools on the road don't [TS]

  know you need a vintage Jeep over [TS]

  vintage Jeep with a with a really rough [TS]

  suspended with pay check out how to [TS]

  field-strip that absolutely thing is you [TS]

  and I are not going to be any use at all [TS]

  in terms of fixing this Jeep now maybe [TS]

  even we may be arthritic but will also [TS]

  be functioning at a higher level from a [TS]

  strategic standpoint of time to [TS]

  field-strip cheap exactly we're going to [TS]

  be we're going to be scanning the [TS]

  horizon who with binoculars but we have [TS]

  that we have the young ladies week we [TS]

  raise them not only speaking a variety [TS]

  of languages but also speaking the [TS]

  mechanical language of G prepare for who [TS]

  and we say you know keep this Jeep [TS]

  running gals keep these machine guns [TS]

  stripped and oil but we do this with [TS]

  hand signals in our face [TS]

  that's right now Cory McCarthy's the red [TS]

  and has ever been made into a film [TS]

  well I actually don't care because [TS]

  there's a new version of that it's gonna [TS]

  be based on the Bob Hope and mapping [TS]

  cross movies the road to Tierra del [TS]

  Fuego is a post-apocalyptic trip was [TS]

  singing and it's the four of us maybe [TS]

  Dorothy Lamour could be in it but I [TS]

  think it's you me and our daughters in a [TS]

  fucking Jeep making hand signals after [TS]

  the apocalypse right but you know Amy [TS]

  let's be honest there's it's not a [TS]

  question of if right it's a question of [TS]

  are you ready for when are you ready [TS]

  you're going to be searching my fourth [TS]

  safe room and I'm already going to be on [TS]

  the South America now one can win [TS]

  Canadian song writer and and songstress [TS]

  Kathleen Edwards was here in Seattle one [TS]

  of the first thing she said as we were [TS]

  driving around she said you know it [TS]

  seems it seems perfect here it's a it's [TS]

  a it's almost paradise what is the [TS]

  downside tell me the tell me the real [TS]

  story what's the downside and I said [TS]

  downside honestly volcanoes and [TS]

  earthquakes like you live in toronto you [TS]

  don't have any volcanoes and you don't [TS]

  have any earthquakes but here in the [TS]

  West the great you know the if if you'll [TS]

  forgive me the 800-pound hippopotamus in [TS]

  the room is that we're all living in the [TS]

  shadow of a of a very very active and in [TS]

  geological time like super young active [TS]

  volcanic range and we're right on the [TS]

  water where the earthquakes create [TS]

  tsunamis it's basically it is basically [TS]

  a volcano earthquake tsunami confess i [TS]

  think i think you put the fear in that [TS]

  gal and I know you put the fear me i [TS]

  have not given a thought forgive me for [TS]

  saying except for maybe making a plaster [TS]

  of Paris volcano when I was in college I [TS]

  I haven't thought about volcanoes since [TS]

  mount st. Helens I wasn't paying a huge [TS]

  amount of attention and then you [TS]

  describe something to me that I found [TS]

  chillin [TS]

  I and my penis see step in my body [TS]

  because you describe a volcano situation [TS]

  that i found completely chillin and [TS]

  implausible but the more you described [TS]

  it the more I realized that we might be [TS]

  getting there some kind of Cormac [TS]

  McCarthy situations you mind sharing [TS]

  with our listeners the the volcano in a [TS]

  mountain scenario so you're talking [TS]

  about you're talking about the you're [TS]

  talking about I'm talking about oh you [TS]

  didn't really know about the secret [TS]

  volcano that isn't really supposed to be [TS]

  there but with with the with the with [TS]

  the zit light bulb olas coming out [TS]

  because i'm fucking chillin all these [TS]

  mountains here in the West that run from [TS]

  Vancouver all the way down to Mount [TS]

  Shasta and beyond [TS]

  they're all they are all super duper [TS]

  active volcanoes there's no I mean right [TS]

  now they all appear to be fairly dormant [TS]

  but they're sitting as the as the [TS]

  Pacific plate [TS]

  seduces beneath the the American [TS]

  continental plates they go down there [TS]

  and it turns into lava right under those [TS]

  mountains and those mountains are just [TS]

  they're just boiling underneath and they [TS]

  seemed peaceful and birds are flying [TS]

  around them and they have lots of [TS]

  glaciers on them in their their national [TS]

  parks people ski on them but really [TS]

  without very much warning there will be [TS]

  some warning but without very much [TS]

  morning but that much extremely useful [TS]

  warning because you're not going to get [TS]

  a by the way you know 30 days from now [TS]

  some shit might go down [TS]

  what will you know one never knows they [TS]

  could be there could be lots of what I [TS]

  mean we're all overdue for the super [TS]

  earthquake and the super earthquake is [TS]

  not it is you know tied to all this [TS]

  volcanism and it is conceivable that the [TS]

  super earthquake will ignite a new round [TS]

  of volcanic activity in some of these [TS]

  massive mountains that are hovering just [TS]

  over the you know just outside of the [TS]

  city limits [TS]

  certainly here in Seattle Mount Rainier [TS]

  the largest mountain north america could [TS]

  could erupt and at which point those [TS]

  ten-thousand-year-old glaciers on its [TS]

  surface will will instantly liquefy into [TS]

  a superheated a hundred 200 foot tall [TS]

  like lahar of boiling mud and ash and [TS]

  can you describe something was a cross [TS]

  between is it and uh a portal from a [TS]

  scarred combined with the conflagration [TS]

  where there could be some kind of a [TS]

  herniated mountain that the UH that a [TS]

  volcano kind of finds its way out of and [TS]

  then explodes like a like a nail bomb [TS]

  what you're describing something where [TS]

  like it gets its own imaginatively slice [TS]

  the top of a mountain goat oh there's [TS]

  volcano in here we weren't ready for [TS]

  this [TS]

  well yeah you're doing a good job of [TS]

  describing it there's a volcano in every [TS]

  single one of those my god jesus jones [TS]

  every single one [TS]

  what's it gonna cost for us to get a [TS]

  jeep should we get a couple of three [TS]

  chips and just kind of have them ready [TS]

  what we should be what we should be [TS]

  ready for is to commandeer a Jeep [TS]

  oh that's good yeah and this is you know [TS]

  this is the thing where I wear this is [TS]

  what Ted Bundy or Proteus would do you [TS]

  don't have the same vehicle you change [TS]

  your shirt you put shoe polish in your [TS]

  hair and there's still three jeeps [TS]

  behind right that's right that's exactly [TS]

  so so in that sense i mean knowing you [TS]

  at and and knowing me I think my skill [TS]

  set it was going to handle the [TS]

  commandeering of jeeps over and and you [TS]

  know I i I'm going to train my daughter [TS]

  to to have that same skill set so that [TS]

  the two of us can work in concert to be [TS]

  to be trading up trading jeeps we don't [TS]

  work in light-weight teams in pairs [TS]

  where we've learned the right hand [TS]

  signals and camouflage make-up to be [TS]

  able to you know if you like using our [TS]

  scopes we'd be able to communicate at a [TS]

  distance you could even have a [TS]

  staggering of cheats i think that's [TS]

  what's called a murder of crows we can [TS]

  have a staggering of jeep and decoy [TS]

  jeeps along the way so that we might [TS]

  have one you might jump in a hoopty that [TS]

  takes you somewhere we split up [TS]

  maybe for the sake of argument there or [TS]

  five or six other groups of people who [TS]

  look exactly like us no like the gang's [TS]

  reason the gangs where the white [TS]

  t-shirts and hoodies II know I think [TS]

  we'll be in a situation somewhere in [TS]

  Central America where we station you [TS]

  sitting looking at a map which may or [TS]

  may not have trap streets trap streets [TS]

  and you'll be sitting on a sitting on [TS]

  you know four or five crates of paper [TS]

  towels and toilet paper already smoking [TS]

  you could potentially you could be [TS]

  smoking a Cuban cigar let's say and a [TS]

  down the road comes a military convoy [TS]

  and they see you there in here and you [TS]

  get up kinda hopefully like waving your [TS]

  hands hello hello help I you know I have [TS]

  all this toilet paper and paper towels [TS]

  but no vehicle and the and they're going [TS]

  to be like load into a look [TS]

  Holden not into a false sense of [TS]

  security but they're going to be so [TS]

  mesmerized by all this toilet paper that [TS]

  they don't have access to a paper towel [TS]

  certainly not in two days in the jungle [TS]

  that is going to look like it like a [TS]

  crate of diamonds to these guns they're [TS]

  gonna be like we streets hit-the hit-the [TS]

  hit-the money here we have the [TS]

  cigarettes for rimming [TS]

  exactly it's like look at all that [TS]

  fucking toilet paper who and then while [TS]

  you are while you're holding up your map [TS]

  pointing at the trap Street going where [TS]

  is this place then I and my daughter [TS]

  haha 67 zip zip line we come in on a [TS]

  zipline throwing knives throwing [TS]

  throwing stars a chicken who and and [TS]

  then we have a then we have a new convoy [TS]

  of new convoy full of whatever it is [TS]

  that bad boy I think I think decoys I [TS]

  think decoys are powerful you know [TS]

  Howard Howard Hughes did a lot of this [TS]

  with decoys it in a lawsuit his own [TS]

  airline suit him TWA suit him and they [TS]

  couldn't serve the subpoena they could [TS]

  not get to him no matter what because he [TS]

  hired he's hired other guys with really [TS]

  long haul [TS]

  there were lots of instances where he [TS]

  did have like those decoy the decoy cars [TS]

  and stuff like that i think that works [TS]

  better than most people think also I [TS]

  must say if you have sealed yourself up [TS]

  in a room with Kleenex boxes and bottles [TS]

  for your own urine and you just simply [TS]

  refuse to open the door when your lawyer [TS]

  has been five years has never met you I [TS]

  think and Reggie you're moving in the [TS]

  right direction [TS]

  yeah you know what I mean even though [TS]

  let's be honest he is living underneath [TS]

  the paper cup with like 50 fucking [TS]

  drawings of locks exactly the same size [TS]

  on them like people in in my town now [TS]

  here in Seattle they do not know that [TS]

  they realize that I have a lot of [TS]

  different cars they're not sure what car [TS]

  might be driving in any game my Nana [TS]

  scooter and I and scooter mba and [TS]

  they're also aware that i changed the my [TS]

  hair and and facial hair configurations [TS]

  you know fairly regularly and i think [TS]

  what i'm trying to craft here in NC at [TS]

  least is the sense that any car could be [TS]

  being driven by me and then and so it [TS]

  might it might have it might have an [TS]

  Irish seen superstar in it it even if [TS]

  you really are discussed Ellis story [TS]

  someday but you could you're driving all [TS]

  kinds of things or you're not driving [TS]

  lots of things we don't know that could [TS]

  be John Robert for all we know that's [TS]

  right it could you see you pass a mini [TS]

  van full of nuns could be John Roderick [TS]

  driving and so you [TS]

  to you have to be that when a satellite [TS]

  gets in their car and start driving [TS]

  around the streets they have to be [TS]

  vigilant have to be aware that i could [TS]

  be in any vehicle at any time and they [TS]

  could be in my way I could be headed to [TS]

  a location somewhere where i have not [TS]

  really read the map and i'm on my way to [TS]

  you know to an important meeting that [TS]

  i'm already 15 minutes late but I'd but [TS]

  i purposely didn't actually figure out [TS]

  what the address was not your fault and [TS]

  I and they need to keep moving and get [TS]

  out of my way and so I i think i think [TS]

  there's just there there's a there's a [TS]

  considerable portion of the population [TS]

  in Seattle that is beginning that is [TS]

  beginning to dawn on their there they're [TS]

  figuring this out is extremely thin end [TS]

  of a very fucking wide wedge right so [TS]

  right what you've done now is you have [TS]

  introduced you know what you're doing [TS]

  your mate you've got him thinking right [TS]

  people people don't like to think John [TS]

  as you don't just get in their cars turn [TS]

  on the radio and drive absent-mindedly [TS]

  to work anymore that's writing is John [TS]

  water can occur together they're going [TS]

  to put on glass houses start joking [TS]

  around they're gonna be thinking twice [TS]

  about whether John would even want me to [TS]

  be listening to glass houses and you [TS]

  know whatever you know the answer and [TS]

  some of them are starting when they [TS]

  leave the house they bring their [TS]

  infrared glasses who they bring a week's [TS]

  supply of of food they always have a [TS]

  they always have a bag packed a negress [TS]

  bag maybe a jar of slurry they're [TS]

  getting there getting into those cars [TS]

  prepared for any eventuality and that is [TS]

  ultimately super trans goal short-term [TS]

  goals short-term goal long-term goal [TS]

  short-term goal right yeah i mean [TS]

  certainly have hopes for the legacy but [TS]

  you're saying like anyone even like the [TS]

  late great Howard Hughes you're not [TS]

  going to you're not going to be there [TS]

  forever [TS]

  you're not going to be you're not gonna [TS]

  be in the desert in with literally [TS]

  audibly clacking toenails for people [TS]

  come up to me they come up to me at that [TS]

  shows they come up to me a public events [TS]

  and they say very confidentially you [TS]

  know they lead in and say how do i make [TS]

  sure that i'm on supertrain how do I [TS]

  mean how do i guarantee myself a berth [TS]

  on super train and my answer is usually [TS]

  you are already doing a good job [TS]

  is it this is the the cognate sensor or [TS]

  the being deferential being respectful [TS]

  what what is it that the has them a [TS]

  theoretical seat on a theoretical [TS]

  non-existent evil train all these things [TS]

  all these things and more if someone if [TS]

  someone Swagger's up to me and says haha [TS]

  ready for super train me my suspicion is [TS]

  or attempted to punch him in the nose a [TS]

  little like I give him a given that look [TS]

  which is a you're not ready for super [TS]

  thinking you are ready for super train [TS]

  is in is to be not ready for super cool [TS]

  oh you're saying like that that actually [TS]

  more than acceptance really seeking out [TS]

  a certain kind of imbalance and and [TS]

  distrust of oneself using that's the [TS]

  beginning of understanding what your [TS]

  place in super train will be yeah you [TS]

  don't you don't walk out of the house [TS]

  saying i have everything i need you walk [TS]

  out of the house saying what do I not [TS]

  have the holy Christ I have everything [TS]

  I'll that's right i hope to Christ I [TS]

  have everything I need that's the best [TS]

  you can do that is the best you can do [TS]

  that is going to be the worst propaganda [TS]

  puts that I've ever see it's going to be [TS]

  you are soliciting proudly on the prow [TS]

  of a giant menacing train and a child's [TS]

  thing I hope to Christ I have everything [TS]

  on the hope to Christ I brought [TS]

  everything I need is this enough toilet [TS]

  paper [TS]

  hmm slurry happy I don't forget a [TS]

  stopping point there was pretty fucking [TS]

  funny government coming up my game [TS]

  special ops you know we can't always [TS]

  give them we can't always give them a [TS]

  bell [TS]

  sometimes sometimes you just have to [TS]

  stop [TS]

  fuck that [TS]

  [Music] [TS]