Roderick on the Line

Ep. 41: "In Lieu of a Laundromat"


00:00:00   Roderick on the line is sponsored by [TS]

00:00:01   instapaper the critically acclaimed app [TS]

00:00:03   that saves web pages to read later get [TS]

00:00:05   it now instapaper com or search for [TS]

00:00:07   instapaper in the app store [TS]

00:00:10   [Music] [TS]

00:00:14   hello hi John [TS]

00:00:18   hi Merlin what did you snip [TS]

00:00:21   uh-huh what did you smoke him I you mean [TS]

00:00:25   there's a noise [TS]

00:00:27   yeah and it's held like you're falling [TS]

00:00:30   onto your chair and then onto your mic [TS]

00:00:32   and then I i started to laugh but then I [TS]

00:00:35   ended up laughing because I thought [TS]

00:00:36   maybe you're doing that old guy thing [TS]

00:00:38   where you know old guys you know as you [TS]

00:00:40   get older you have a way of getting into [TS]

00:00:41   and out of chairs you kind of go on like [TS]

00:00:44   fall into their do I DD the kick to get [TS]

00:00:48   out [TS]

00:00:48   do I ever yeah but your dad did the kick [TS]

00:00:51   your dad's you kick it out [TS]

00:00:53   no dad he was lifting checkers know [TS]

00:00:56   later on in life what he did was he fell [TS]

00:00:58   to the floor and work your way up [TS]

00:01:00   I want but yeah but no no he always be [TS]

00:01:04   with you [TS]

00:01:04   mathlete my dad was good with chairs [TS]

00:01:07   from united center himself get center of [TS]

00:01:09   gravity and then up [TS]

00:01:10   no my problem in this instance was you [TS]

00:01:12   called and I was looking at something [TS]

00:01:14   else and I reached for my headphones ooh [TS]

00:01:17   and I I grab my coffee cup instead and I [TS]

00:01:21   almost poured it on on top of my head i [TS]

00:01:25   almost put my coffee cup on my head like [TS]

00:01:27   it was my headphone I don't think about [TS]

00:01:29   myself and what I got that could we [TS]

00:01:31   please have a little bit of fanart of [TS]

00:01:32   that up me exercise a small animated gif [TS]

00:01:35   I was you know I was looking I was [TS]

00:01:37   looking away and I reached out and [TS]

00:01:39   they're everything on my desk is black [TS]

00:01:41   black phone black microphone black [TS]

00:01:43   headphones so right [TS]

00:01:44   yeah except for my except for my bail [TS]

00:01:47   which is orange your spell have an [TS]

00:01:50   orange belt because it is a it is from [TS]

00:01:53   old board game that involved a bell [TS]

00:01:56   I don't remember the game I don't [TS]

00:01:58   remember even ever playing the game but [TS]

00:01:59   i got it for christmas and it had a bell [TS]

00:02:02   like a type of felt it would sit on the [TS]

00:02:04   aisle at the check-in of an [TS]

00:02:06   old-fashioned hotel but it's painted [TS]

00:02:08   orange and i would have loved it [TS]

00:02:10   I've had my head up my whole I mean I [TS]

00:02:13   got I got it when I was like five or [TS]

00:02:14   something and I think you might be that [TS]

00:02:17   old Parker Brothers game about that [TS]

00:02:19   Northern Ireland game about marching [TS]

00:02:22   season [TS]

00:02:22   mmm [TS]

00:02:23   the trouble is it's called the troubles [TS]

00:02:25   right side the truck now that's funny it [TS]

00:02:28   comes with the Papa matic that's yeah [TS]

00:02:30   and my mind that was such a stupid like [TS]

00:02:33   fake smart joke and you totally saved it [TS]

00:02:36   oh my grandmother ok we're here we're [TS]

00:02:39   here for each other and no way I [TS]

00:02:40   absolutely feel like my grandmother you [TS]

00:02:43   she a she got older you know she [TS]

00:02:45   eventually pass because the Alzheimer's [TS]

00:02:47   but it's funny but what I don't they [TS]

00:02:50   they die old people you know it's pretty [TS]

00:02:53   consistent [TS]

00:02:54   yeah it's one of those things where if [TS]

00:02:55   it's not Alzheimer's it's going to be [TS]

00:02:57   something like me to grow in a bar like [TS]

00:02:59   it's really consistent that it's just [TS]

00:03:00   going to go a certain way yet so anyway [TS]

00:03:03   uh long before I think we even had those [TS]

00:03:05   names things were you know it is which [TS]

00:03:09   names [TS]

00:03:09   Oh like like you know the names of [TS]

00:03:11   doctors grandmother and stuff well yeah [TS]

00:03:13   we just we just back then used to call [TS]

00:03:15   it not you know you don't say see now [TS]

00:03:17   you say you get you know icing right [TS]

00:03:20   Elsie now of course you would that's [TS]

00:03:21   what we called it right now sure that as [TS]

00:03:23   you it but it was it was this it was a [TS]

00:03:26   slot it was a slow go look for a while [TS]

00:03:29   she was still like doing lots of stuff [TS]

00:03:30   in her yard and going to the store and [TS]

00:03:33   everything was fine and and over time [TS]

00:03:35   over a period like five to eight years [TS]

00:03:37   like weirder and weirder shit started [TS]

00:03:39   happening [TS]

00:03:40   start walking out into the Okefenokee [TS]

00:03:42   Swamp but no no we weren't finicky [TS]

00:03:44   adjacent but the the main thing was she [TS]

00:03:47   kept she drive over to our house and she [TS]

00:03:51   would just have that's good she was [TS]

00:03:53   still driving [TS]

00:03:54   well you have a cute of at first small [TS]

00:03:58   dents in the car right at first she was [TS]

00:04:01   not aware of right and then when she saw [TS]

00:04:03   it she would she would Slough it off you [TS]

00:04:05   know like it was a pimple or something [TS]

00:04:07   she's insurance that's that's just [TS]

00:04:08   nothing Haley was hail and well because [TS]

00:04:11   gonna do some very specific hail and [TS]

00:04:15   then we kind of like eventually started [TS]

00:04:16   to kind of take her to task on this good [TS]

00:04:17   you know welcome Grammy tell us a little [TS]

00:04:19   bit more about the debt and and Allah [TS]

00:04:22   your headphones and black desk problem [TS]

00:04:24   she always had a reason and at one point [TS]

00:04:27   she did actually complain about the size [TS]

00:04:29   and clarity of stop signs [TS]

00:04:31   alright well that is a that's something [TS]

00:04:34   we should read our congresspeople about [TS]

00:04:36   yeah shake it stop signs were only twice [TS]

00:04:38   as big and twice as clear [TS]

00:04:40   yeah and this is just this feed all into [TS]

00:04:43   your into the supertrain notion of where [TS]

00:04:45   stop signs will fit into things do you [TS]

00:04:46   have a solution for somebody like my [TS]

00:04:48   grandmother contractor soul haha [TS]

00:04:52   there shouldn't be stop signs that [TS]

00:04:53   should be traffic circle but more [TS]

00:04:56   importantly I think the solution to the [TS]

00:04:58   problem with your grandmother yeah like [TS]

00:05:00   the solution to the problem that I had [TS]

00:05:02   with my dad as he got older my dad did [TS]

00:05:04   not go senile and all he was sharp as a [TS]

00:05:06   tack I'll too sharp but he began to [TS]

00:05:10   drive his car up on the sidewalk with [TS]

00:05:13   with a concerning regularity because I [TS]

00:05:18   think he just stopped giving a fuck [TS]

00:05:21   he was coming to an intersection at a [TS]

00:05:24   you know into a like he'd make a corner [TS]

00:05:27   let's say at a speed that he felt was [TS]

00:05:30   appropriate and he would he just cut the [TS]

00:05:33   angle who and he'd go up onto the [TS]

00:05:36   sidewalk and he would I mean when I [TS]

00:05:39   inherited my dad's car [TS]

00:05:41   cookie cookie number two would be number [TS]

00:05:43   two it had a broken axle it had the [TS]

00:05:47   entire front end was wrecked it was and [TS]

00:05:49   and it was the same thing i would i [TS]

00:05:51   would get in his car and I'd say dad [TS]

00:05:52   your car's got a weird shimmy and go [TS]

00:05:54   home no it's always been like that and [TS]

00:05:57   I'd say no it's not it hasn't always [TS]

00:05:59   been like that i feel like i am on a I [TS]

00:06:01   feel like we are driving in on a dyson [TS]

00:06:03   vacuum cleaner it did there it has no [TS]

00:06:06   it's not tracking the road he did what [TS]

00:06:09   no notes that's how it came from the [TS]

00:06:11   factory and eventually I determined that [TS]

00:06:16   he was just he was he was basically one [TS]

00:06:20   he was one small stroke away from [TS]

00:06:23   driving through a farmers market at 65 [TS]

00:06:26   miles an hour horrible and so my [TS]

00:06:30   solution to your grandmother and my [TS]

00:06:33   agent father and everyone's aging [TS]

00:06:36   parents senile or no is that as you get [TS]

00:06:39   older there you should have to take more [TS]

00:06:43   frequent drivers exams it should be more [TS]

00:06:47   and more difficult for you to drive [TS]

00:06:48   I have a car by yourself when you are 85 [TS]

00:06:51   years old this is part of the supertrain [TS]

00:06:53   that is so super train this is part of [TS]

00:06:55   the supertrain like a sort of [TS]

00:06:57   paternalistic society that we're going [TS]

00:06:59   to have where most people in the prime [TS]

00:07:02   of their life are free to do whatever [TS]

00:07:03   they want but when you are young and [TS]

00:07:05   when you are old you are monitored more [TS]

00:07:08   closely because you do not have the [TS]

00:07:10   cognitive faculty to make good choices [TS]

00:07:12   I've actually been thinking a lot about [TS]

00:07:15   this and let like all eternity envisions [TS]

00:07:18   it is ultimately truly dystopian in [TS]

00:07:21   order for your sister to work it seems [TS]

00:07:24   like you know Hitler thought he was [TS]

00:07:25   helping a lot of people write it yeah he [TS]

00:07:27   helped a lot of German people who [TS]

00:07:30   and-and-and-and I so here's the thing [TS]

00:07:35   that's like right now you can see if you [TS]

00:07:37   set my grandmother and notice in the [TS]

00:07:39   mail [TS]

00:07:39   well she responded to email or she [TS]

00:07:41   responded to hurt postal mail like to [TS]

00:07:43   everything you can send her like a human [TS]

00:07:45   they started to melt this fake FedEx [TS]

00:07:47   envelopes was actually about like more [TS]

00:07:49   wine and she filled out all of the all [TS]

00:07:52   of w3 gotta put the green sticks with [TS]

00:07:55   the green car [TS]

00:07:56   alright but I guess scrape off scrape [TS]

00:07:58   off the user quarter scrape off but the [TS]

00:08:01   code number deep ball gosh i have so [TS]

00:08:04   much to ask you about you know you know [TS]

00:08:06   that you get on different sucker lists [TS]

00:08:08   is what they call the industry you get [TS]

00:08:10   on different truly different sucker list [TS]

00:08:12   depending on how much of that shit you [TS]

00:08:14   do you know that you know my dad was on [TS]

00:08:16   every single one of them because at a [TS]

00:08:18   certain point I feel I feel like he just [TS]

00:08:21   he would get those letters in the melody [TS]

00:08:23   go those guys seems kind of nice [TS]

00:08:25   he said he said you know the letter said [TS]

00:08:27   hey Dave know so I drove him along thing [TS]

00:08:31   back and eventually it got to the point [TS]

00:08:33   where he was getting three hundred phone [TS]

00:08:35   calls a day from really nice women in [TS]

00:08:38   their mid twenties who wanted to sell [TS]

00:08:40   him a timeshare and at one point he [TS]

00:08:42   bought a timeshare oh you know when he [TS]

00:08:46   had this vision you know he's 87 years [TS]

00:08:48   old we had this vision that he was going [TS]

00:08:50   to buy a timeshare because my dad was a [TS]

00:08:52   he was a little ism a liberal politician [TS]

00:08:55   his whole life he didn't make a lot of [TS]

00:08:57   money and a lot of his friends from [TS]

00:08:59   college [TS]

00:09:00   became capitalists or were born capital [TS]

00:09:03   you said he advised one of his friends [TS]

00:09:05   to go out and get a get a get a little [TS]

00:09:07   tipsy don't sit around you said he had [TS]

00:09:10   friends it wasn't his friend was one of [TS]

00:09:12   his friends his brother-in-law [TS]

00:09:13   ok you know my aunt had passed away and [TS]

00:09:16   he was like you know you're a [TS]

00:09:17   millionaire you should go get a [TS]

00:09:18   girlfriend but so he's a he's a he's an [TS]

00:09:21   old guy he gets it he gets into this [TS]

00:09:23   state of mind that I think it happens as [TS]

00:09:25   you're reflecting back on your life and [TS]

00:09:26   he's thinking it he was thinking well it [TS]

00:09:30   was hard for him to remember that he had [TS]

00:09:32   done all these amazing things in his [TS]

00:09:33   life and all he could think about was [TS]

00:09:35   that he had not he didn't have any [TS]

00:09:38   business to hand me down as his heir he [TS]

00:09:43   wasn't able to give me the keys to our [TS]

00:09:45   family laundromat or are pontiac [TS]

00:09:47   dealership or whatever it is where you [TS]

00:09:49   give your son something that then sets [TS]

00:09:53   him up in life you know what I mean he [TS]

00:09:55   got his only a request to me was that I [TS]

00:09:59   used English properly and that I was [TS]

00:10:02   that I could walk into a cocktail party [TS]

00:10:04   and immediately established that i was [TS]

00:10:06   the biggest cheese in the place where [TS]

00:10:09   those those so check those were the [TS]

00:10:11   things that he gave me in in lieu of a [TS]

00:10:14   party activist ship or a laundromat and [TS]

00:10:18   so he's 87 years always like oh I gotta [TS]

00:10:20   he calls me and he says I got us their [TS]

00:10:23   vacation house i will never get to [TS]

00:10:27   construct an H and I said you got us a [TS]

00:10:31   vacation house what and he said is great [TS]

00:10:36   vacation house in to Tahiti bahama [TS]

00:10:39   somewhere and I said you don't have the [TS]

00:10:43   resources to have gotten us a vacation [TS]

00:10:47   house what are you talking about [TS]

00:10:49   you didn't buy a timeshare did you I [TS]

00:10:50   don't know what that is but I got this [TS]

00:10:52   thing is greater you go anytime we'll [TS]

00:10:55   all go sit in this house and he so I go [TS]

00:10:58   to his place and he's got these [TS]

00:10:59   brochures and yes he bought a timeshare [TS]

00:11:02   and he talked he had many many [TS]

00:11:05   conversations with this delightful young [TS]

00:11:06   woman and I review all the information [TS]

00:11:10   and they've set him up in something [TS]

00:11:12   where it's direct deposit [TS]

00:11:14   it's taking 800 bucks out of his account [TS]

00:11:17   every month you know is a complete like [TS]

00:11:19   he absolutely the point at which your [TS]

00:11:24   whatever your capitalist enterprises [TS]

00:11:26   that's preying on old people you and [TS]

00:11:29   everyone that's involved in the business [TS]

00:11:31   have convinced yourself that you're [TS]

00:11:34   doing you're not doing a terrible thing [TS]

00:11:36   in the world you know like you're just [TS]

00:11:37   trying to make a living or you are [TS]

00:11:39   selling things that people want or [TS]

00:11:40   whatever it is and sometimes they come [TS]

00:11:42   to despise their marks your dad your dad [TS]

00:11:45   was a claim Gary lead he was he [TS]

00:11:48   absolutely was and I and all those [TS]

00:11:50   people i could not wish I more virulent [TS]

00:11:54   pox on their house but now a lot of [TS]

00:11:58   those people is all people hold onto [TS]

00:12:00   those records pretty well i'm thinking [TS]

00:12:02   and you started going to estate sales in [TS]

00:12:06   advance of supertrain officially being [TS]

00:12:08   launched [TS]

00:12:08   uh-huh you can start gathering you know [TS]

00:12:10   the timeshares you know you know what [TS]

00:12:12   the NRA says then ra says Hitler Hitler [TS]

00:12:15   went through a friend who had the guns [TS]

00:12:16   they had lists right [TS]

00:12:18   Hitler has lists so again I don't want [TS]

00:12:21   to I don't want to conflate supertrain [TS]

00:12:22   with Hitler not by a long shot [TS]

00:12:24   let's go here's the thing it's like [TS]

00:12:25   Stalin right there's going to have to be [TS]

00:12:27   an awkward period where there's a little [TS]

00:12:29   bit of governmental nudging a little [TS]

00:12:33   over so she say that the stalling nudged [TS]

00:12:35   a little while okay now-now is another [TS]

00:12:39   mud mountain lodge Stalin was much more [TS]

00:12:41   of a like knock on the door the middle [TS]

00:12:43   of the night kind of guy but now you [TS]

00:12:45   know my aunt gave people plenty of [TS]

00:12:47   opportunity to get on board his [TS]

00:12:49   supertrain you've got a barbecue was [TS]

00:12:51   sitting out back there's no reason you [TS]

00:12:52   can't be making fucking steal you know [TS]

00:12:55   about that you know he had people make [TS]

00:12:57   trying to make steel in their backyard [TS]

00:12:58   well yeah that's what I was thinking you [TS]

00:13:01   know that that's the best thing about [TS]

00:13:02   super trend is the amount of student new [TS]

00:13:04   steel we're going to be producing just [TS]

00:13:06   another cycling because we're going to [TS]

00:13:07   be recycling rust all across America [TS]

00:13:11   know what you're going to be like the [TS]

00:13:12   greatest hits of the nineteen forties [TS]

00:13:13   you're going to ICU creating a [TS]

00:13:16   consultation 6-5000 that's the same six [TS]

00:13:18   that's a great song that's my favorite [TS]

00:13:20   scene in that Jimmy Stewart movie a [TS]

00:13:22   great hit of the forties but anyway go [TS]

00:13:24   ahead i'm sorry it's your it's your eyes [TS]

00:13:26   your program [TS]

00:13:27   well the thing what I ended up doing [TS]

00:13:28   with this timeshare woman could click [TS]

00:13:31   circle back to the Stoke it's not be [TS]

00:13:33   important [TS]

00:13:33   yeah i think we can but what I ended up [TS]

00:13:34   doing with her was I sick my sister on [TS]

00:13:36   how breath on them and i called the [TS]

00:13:40   action line i really did and it was a it [TS]

00:13:43   was a sight to behold it was a beautiful [TS]

00:13:45   thing I insisted that I be there when [TS]

00:13:48   she called them and explain to them [TS]

00:13:50   patiently that she was going to but she [TS]

00:13:53   was a lawyer but she's not and that he [TS]

00:13:56   was a lawyer and that we were gonna sue [TS]

00:13:58   everyone a thousand times if they didn't [TS]

00:14:02   return all of the money and all of that [TS]

00:14:05   you know like and and and written [TS]

00:14:07   apology and the whole mess is in demand [TS]

00:14:10   satisfaction she demanded a level of [TS]

00:14:13   satisfaction that even I MNR Susan is [TS]

00:14:17   able to get people on the phone who are [TS]

00:14:20   the people who are trained to deal with [TS]

00:14:23   hostile customers right and Susan is [TS]

00:14:27   able to basically skeletonized them like [TS]

00:14:31   i like it they are a cow that walked [TS]

00:14:34   unknowingly into an Amazonian stream and [TS]

00:14:38   they come out the other side and not [TS]

00:14:39   only are they a skeleton but they are [TS]

00:14:41   happy to be a skeleton and they are [TS]

00:14:43   apologizing for any inconvenience their [TS]

00:14:46   meat may have caused as she consumed it [TS]

00:14:48   like she is she is a and extremely [TS]

00:14:52   extremely not even a small town apology [TS]

00:14:54   like a village like a hamlet apology [TS]

00:14:56   like a truly you're saying like [TS]

00:14:58   deferential deep bow bow happy smile and [TS]

00:15:04   hear it not only here is a refund but [TS]

00:15:08   here's interest on it and you know where [TS]

00:15:10   the thing the thing about my sister [TS]

00:15:12   though is that it is like unleashing its [TS]

00:15:16   like unleashing the curse of the mummy [TS]

00:15:19   like if you try and if you if you have [TS]

00:15:23   an idea of what your [TS]

00:15:24   to unleash the curse of the money on [TS]

00:15:26   that may in fact you may in fact be able [TS]

00:15:29   to bend to your will for that immediate [TS]

00:15:32   amount of time for that immediate [TS]

00:15:34   purpose but then the curse of the money [TS]

00:15:36   is loose on the world like I do not I do [TS]

00:15:40   not invoke my sister unless I basically [TS]

00:15:43   have a scorcher spot earth policy like [TS]

00:15:46   if I turn Susan loose then I have no [TS]

00:15:50   every everything in this 45 degree angle [TS]

00:15:54   is potentially going to be salted earth [TS]

00:15:57   you think of her as kinda like a nuclear [TS]

00:15:58   option she's she's a or to mix the [TS]

00:16:01   metaphor a customer service commando [TS]

00:16:02   like with you call her out things are [TS]

00:16:04   going to break [TS]

00:16:05   well but the thing is she they will they [TS]

00:16:07   say it's not that they will break it's [TS]

00:16:09   that it's that she she gets satisfaction [TS]

00:16:11   and also at like everyone is hugging at [TS]

00:16:15   the end it's not like me when I walked [TS]

00:16:17   out of that that that north face store [TS]

00:16:20   I think they probably turned the sign to [TS]

00:16:23   closed and spent the rest of the day [TS]

00:16:25   like in the back like having an employee [TS]

00:16:27   meeting at you like you're not inviting [TS]

00:16:31   cats that an encounter session where it [TS]

00:16:33   was just like let's all talk about this [TS]

00:16:34   let's get this out [TS]

00:16:36   talk about what happened it's like the [TS]

00:16:37   Columbine of backpacks whereas with my [TS]

00:16:39   sister at the end they are exchanging [TS]

00:16:41   phone numbers because they're going to [TS]

00:16:42   go snowboarding later like she she [TS]

00:16:44   really she she converts the whole thing [TS]

00:16:47   until they feel like I've watched my [TS]

00:16:50   sister in a train station in Europe [TS]

00:16:51   haven't haven't exchanged with gypsy [TS]

00:16:54   pickpockets where the Gypsy pickpockets [TS]

00:16:57   returned the pickpocketed goods and then [TS]

00:17:01   there was there were hugs all around now [TS]

00:17:03   I don't know if you have if our [TS]

00:17:04   listeners have had a lot of experience [TS]

00:17:06   with gypsies who pickpocket they like [TS]

00:17:09   because aroma or little Elliot's you're [TS]

00:17:12   absolutely correct they prefer to be [TS]

00:17:15   called drama but for the sake of [TS]

00:17:17   evidence they stole the name from Italy [TS]

00:17:19   for the sake of clarity no no it's the [TS]

00:17:21   other way around [TS]

00:17:21   ok but but but but yes Susan somehow but [TS]

00:17:27   the thing is once it gets happening it's [TS]

00:17:29   like it'sit's there's a there's a it's a [TS]

00:17:33   it's but it's a viral [TS]

00:17:35   sensation Susan once you turn her loose [TS]

00:17:37   you better have also have a stack of [TS]

00:17:39   bills that you want to contest because [TS]

00:17:41   she you really have to you have to turn [TS]

00:17:43   that power in a direction otherwise [TS]

00:17:46   she'll just be she'll be calling [TS]

00:17:47   customer service agents just for the [TS]

00:17:49   thrill of hearing that she's like dark [TS]

00:17:51   phoenix sheet now she's got a little bit [TS]

00:17:53   of that energy and now she can't stop [TS]

00:17:55   you can she's going to keep settling [TS]

00:17:56   thanks for the rest of the day that's [TS]

00:17:59   right that's that'sthat's I I think [TS]

00:18:00   everybody needs a person like the first [TS]

00:18:02   of all can I say kudos to Susan I wish I [TS]

00:18:04   had that in me I don't as you know yeah [TS]

00:18:07   I know [TS]

00:18:07   well I've mentioned my friend people're [TS]

00:18:09   before back from vaca Tallahassee and my [TS]

00:18:12   friend Davies khan action line because [TS]

00:18:14   if you ever needed anything done and you [TS]

00:18:17   had exhausted [TS]

00:18:18   it was beyond but arms bugs me yeah kind [TS]

00:18:21   of I mean it started out real nice [TS]

00:18:22   because people's real civil at first [TS]

00:18:25   yeah but the thing is you know what you [TS]

00:18:27   here's your chance you know what I mean [TS]

00:18:29   this is your chance we can do this we [TS]

00:18:30   can do this like gentlemen and I can [TS]

00:18:32   settle this it's easy way or the hard [TS]

00:18:34   way [TS]

00:18:34   right right now and he was going to and [TS]

00:18:36   of course like you said you're dealing [TS]

00:18:37   with scoundrels you're dealing with [TS]

00:18:39   people who spend all day basically [TS]

00:18:41   trying to destroy people and like Susan [TS]

00:18:43   and more amateur level these people they [TS]

00:18:45   probably do something to it when I was a [TS]

00:18:47   telemarketer I was a horrible human [TS]

00:18:48   being i took a certain amount of joy and [TS]

00:18:50   the awfulness of my job that's how you [TS]

00:18:51   survive in their case they're sitting [TS]

00:18:53   around trying to screw all people like [TS]

00:18:55   my grandmother my grandmother you tell [TS]

00:18:56   my grandmother my late grandmother tell [TS]

00:18:58   her you're a Christian and she'll do [TS]

00:18:59   anything for you [TS]

00:19:00   she tried to refinance her house in [TS]

00:19:02   order to have it painted right right [TS]

00:19:04   this is the kind of thing that we do so [TS]

00:19:06   you called someone IP and fashion line [TS]

00:19:08   comes in i talked to my dad when I when [TS]

00:19:10   I finally took his car away I said I [TS]

00:19:13   said that that's what do you need a car [TS]

00:19:15   for 87 years old what do you need what [TS]

00:19:17   do you do in your car [TS]

00:19:18   he said I got a lot of things i do i go [TS]

00:19:20   run errands I so what errands do you do [TS]

00:19:23   I on the drugstore [TS]

00:19:25   yeah alright well we can handle getting [TS]

00:19:27   you to the drugstore a couple of times a [TS]

00:19:29   week [TS]

00:19:29   what else what else you need the car for [TS]

00:19:31   well I go to the mechanic [TS]

00:19:37   to go to its to get out of the car [TS]

00:19:39   mechanic to get the car that doesn't [TS]

00:19:40   have a broken axle looked at things yeah [TS]

00:19:43   i gotta how often do you want a mechanic [TS]

00:19:45   Oh once a week you go to the car [TS]

00:19:49   mechanic once a week and that's one of [TS]

00:19:51   the things you need a car for he was [TS]

00:19:53   going to this guy who was quote-unquote [TS]

00:19:55   fixing his car [TS]

00:19:57   ah and it was some you know local guy [TS]

00:20:01   who he figured out he had a live one and [TS]

00:20:04   my dad was just going down there to talk [TS]

00:20:05   to him about the news of the day or talk [TS]

00:20:08   about baseball and he would put the car [TS]

00:20:11   up on the jack he surely saw that it had [TS]

00:20:13   a broken axle and a you know he'd put [TS]

00:20:15   the car up there and put new air in the [TS]

00:20:16   tires and charging 400 bucks not given a [TS]

00:20:19   johnson rod it's a you know this is the [TS]

00:20:21   thing I I when I went on that screen [TS]

00:20:23   several years ago against the the [TS]

00:20:25   Firestone Tire Company III don't know [TS]

00:20:28   about discrete oh well it was one it was [TS]

00:20:31   in fact i think it was my first is to be [TS]

00:20:33   with you could trust you could firestone [TS]

00:20:36   it could save your life this is [TS]

00:20:37   equipment that could save your life [TS]

00:20:39   I took this car the self-same car which [TS]

00:20:45   has a has a book value probably a [TS]

00:20:48   probably 18 hundred dollars and which my [TS]

00:20:51   family if you take all the members of my [TS]

00:20:53   family and that that have had possession [TS]

00:20:55   of this car at one time or another we [TS]

00:20:57   have probably put 40 grand into into [TS]

00:21:01   fixing that the the car the number of [TS]

00:21:04   times it has been like should demolished [TS]

00:21:07   by my dad and then put you know paste it [TS]

00:21:09   back into shape my I think right now at [TS]

00:21:12   this very moment my mom is driving this [TS]

00:21:13   same car down the street but I took I [TS]

00:21:16   took it to this firestone in north [TS]

00:21:18   seattle and they repaired it at great [TS]

00:21:22   expense and I got in the car started the [TS]

00:21:25   car put it into gear and it made a sound [TS]

00:21:28   like if you through see gravel into a [TS]

00:21:32   blender and I and I turn the car off and [TS]

00:21:36   i walked very slowly back into the got [TS]

00:21:38   into the office and I said I don't think [TS]

00:21:41   that you have fixed the car and the [TS]

00:21:44   manager said very patiently to me like [TS]

00:21:46   I'm sorry sir what is the problem [TS]

00:21:49   I was like why don't you come outside [TS]

00:21:50   and you start the car and tell me what [TS]

00:21:52   you think the problem is when he starts [TS]

00:21:54   the car that makes this horrible sounds [TS]

00:21:56   like code here and I said yes so you [TS]

00:21:58   called me down here to come pick up this [TS]

00:22:01   car and no one in your organization [TS]

00:22:04   thought to put a key in it and started [TS]

00:22:06   to see that it was ready and repair and [TS]

00:22:10   he immediately started taking this car [TS]

00:22:13   taking an approach with me that he had [TS]

00:22:16   been clearly trained to do by some [TS]

00:22:19   corporate disaster preparedness person [TS]

00:22:23   where they were like when a customer [TS]

00:22:25   becomes hostile you should immediately [TS]

00:22:28   review no retreat into a very [TS]

00:22:31   condescending manner and you should [TS]

00:22:34   immediately start to you know be on [TS]

00:22:36   guard and if the person uses profanity [TS]

00:22:39   here's what you say and so you know the [TS]

00:22:42   guy says to me well i mean i think we [TS]

00:22:44   can get in and we can get it done by a [TS]

00:22:47   two week from next Tuesday or something [TS]

00:22:50   like that and I said you have got to be [TS]

00:22:53   shitting me and the guy says to me I [TS]

00:22:56   swear to you sir there's no need to use [TS]

00:22:58   profanity boy and I was so covered in a [TS]

00:23:07   thousand layers of desire to firebomb [TS]

00:23:11   the business while it was open and full [TS]

00:23:14   of customers like I was looking around [TS]

00:23:16   for saving them you're singing him i was [TS]

00:23:19   going to be saving everyone in this [TS]

00:23:20   neighborhood by emulating them in this [TS]

00:23:23   firestone rather than live another [TS]

00:23:26   moment in a world where this asshole has [TS]

00:23:29   any authority over me and that whether [TS]

00:23:31   or not I can drive away in my car and so [TS]

00:23:34   it was the first tweet storm i ever did [TS]

00:23:36   I had that I've been on Twitter for a [TS]

00:23:38   year so I had never if it had never [TS]

00:23:41   occurred to me to tweet storm before but [TS]

00:23:43   I started sending out tweets like like [TS]

00:23:46   that [TS]

00:23:47   firestone the company [TS]

00:23:50   are uh like abortion providers and puppy [TS]

00:23:54   killers and child rapists and I went I [TS]

00:23:59   went on for a day and it was it was it [TS]

00:24:01   was very exciting firestone hashtag [TS]

00:24:04   firestone became a trending topic that [TS]

00:24:06   day because other people join me in the [TS]

00:24:08   fun and uh I did not get any corporate [TS]

00:24:12   satisfaction and I don't think at the [TS]

00:24:14   time [TS]

00:24:16   firestone had a dedicated Twitter [TS]

00:24:18   monitor so it wasn't like when I when I [TS]

00:24:22   tweet storm the hell no tellin and I [TS]

00:24:24   started getting emails right away and [TS]

00:24:26   then frantic knocks on my hotel room [TS]

00:24:28   door but i do feel like i do feel like [TS]

00:24:33   on that particular day I cost firestone [TS]

00:24:36   a little bit i took a little bit out it [TS]

00:24:38   maybe it is a complete impotent [TS]

00:24:40   it's a completely into the impotent [TS]

00:24:41   position but i do believe in my heart of [TS]

00:24:44   hearts that I have affected their [TS]

00:24:45   business permanently to the tune of the [TS]

00:24:48   eighteen hundred dollars that i spent [TS]

00:24:50   there let me encourage anyone anyone [TS]

00:24:53   listening to the show to never patronize [TS]

00:24:55   a firestone they are well like I say [TS]

00:24:58   abortions and baby killer fresh human [TS]

00:25:03   blood not even baby killers in the sense [TS]

00:25:05   of aborting babies who are babies [TS]

00:25:09   not yet but they actually happens [TS]

00:25:10   actually kill live babies all the ones [TS]

00:25:13   they wanted [TS]

00:25:13   that's right ah cheese babies that were [TS]

00:25:17   wanted [TS]

00:25:18   yeah firestone will kill them that's [TS]

00:25:19   totally unacceptable baby seals who are [TS]

00:25:22   shitty company run by shitty people who [TS]

00:25:25   have a shitty policy about how to deal [TS]

00:25:27   with people who use the word shit in a [TS]

00:25:30   income in a conversational use of the [TS]

00:25:33   word shit like I know that the guys [TS]

00:25:35   working in the firestone occasionally [TS]

00:25:38   use the word shit right like if they are [TS]

00:25:41   turning a wrench and they hurt [TS]

00:25:43   themselves [TS]

00:25:45   even the most Christian of them is going [TS]

00:25:47   to say shit periodically because they're [TS]

00:25:50   there grease monkeys who they are a [TS]

00:25:53   swearing class grease monkeys are [TS]

00:25:57   swearing class this is this is not so [TS]

00:25:59   different because he's not so different [TS]

00:26:00   from what we were talking about last [TS]

00:26:02   week with sarah know right [TS]

00:26:03   the thing is the ncu you run into [TS]

00:26:05   something they go they go home to [TS]

00:26:06   something something you do you want to [TS]

00:26:07   play that is that the things that we're [TS]

00:26:10   going to do here i'm coming to you and [TS]

00:26:11   I'm telling you that this is fucked up [TS]

00:26:13   i'm telling you that you fucked [TS]

00:26:15   something up and you have a chance right [TS]

00:26:17   this is like the whole tylenol thing [TS]

00:26:19   right right now I'm gonna make it about [TS]

00:26:20   me using profanity instead of how you [TS]

00:26:22   and your business and fucked me royally [TS]

00:26:24   go out of out of three days of my life [TS]

00:26:27   absolutely and they go you go out and [TS]

00:26:28   they did they go by as and put stickers [TS]

00:26:30   on Nascars and they make beer koozies [TS]

00:26:32   and shit and then do that all day long [TS]

00:26:34   but then I just happened down my friend [TS]

00:26:36   Heather who's of a very successful [TS]

00:26:39   well-known blogger she got a she got a [TS]

00:26:43   look at it is haha she has nine [TS]

00:26:48   Backhouse job i wish i had a cough but [TS]

00:26:51   nine bedroom house my bedroom house [TS]

00:26:53   yeah so she has been well-known blogger [TS]

00:26:55   here's the thing she she was patient and [TS]

00:26:59   she was kind somebody had i think was a [TS]

00:27:01   washer and dryer that she had gotten and [TS]

00:27:03   she you put yourself in this position [TS]

00:27:05   John you would you have done that if you [TS]

00:27:06   had 20 followers know this i wish i was [TS]

00:27:09   a successful and well-known blogger [TS]

00:27:10   anyway you know how to monetize my blog [TS]

00:27:13   20 monetizing right now John me [TS]

00:27:17   personally right now [TS]

00:27:19   yeah mm we can monetize this for [TS]

00:27:22   monetizing a little bit [TS]

00:27:23   you see I mean we're going to me was in [TS]

00:27:27   the same position you and I have been [TS]

00:27:28   just that she tried to be the girl [TS]

00:27:29   version of a gentleman and she said look [TS]

00:27:31   guys I bought this doesn't work you [TS]

00:27:34   gotta you gotta fix this and she she [TS]

00:27:36   went through it yeah i can find this [TS]

00:27:38   link for you go back to fight but she [TS]

00:27:39   was really cool about it but they didn't [TS]

00:27:40   realize successful blogger the way I and [TS]

00:27:45   now I think she didn't even I think I [TS]

00:27:47   don't even think she tried to play that [TS]

00:27:48   particular card 1.5 million followers [TS]

00:27:50   and she and associated pull out your [TS]

00:27:53   Klout score well what you come in with [TS]

00:27:56   twitter twitter [TS]

00:27:57   bomb Twitter storm with 22 feet stormy [TS]

00:28:00   out she went happy go Jackie on that [TS]

00:28:01   shit [TS]

00:28:02   mm and you know what they did they get [TS]

00:28:04   the anti hilton they say she made them [TS]

00:28:06   look so bad and got so many people [TS]

00:28:08   Marshall on her side because you've been [TS]

00:28:10   there like everybody's been there you've [TS]

00:28:12   been in that situation of saying like [TS]

00:28:14   look I play your little game I waited [TS]

00:28:16   for you to do the phone call I thought [TS]

00:28:17   on RMA like I did all the things blotter [TS]

00:28:20   blog and your fucking stonewalling me [TS]

00:28:21   because you think I will stop right [TS]

00:28:23   that's what's happening in the firestone [TS]

00:28:25   training seminar all those fucks stains [TS]

00:28:27   think that they are being trained to do [TS]

00:28:29   if they wait long enough [TS]

00:28:31   John Roderick what will put his foot is [TS]

00:28:33   a put his tail between his legs and [TS]

00:28:35   balance crap out of there and then come [TS]

00:28:37   back again like like like Dave did ya [TS]

00:28:40   frustrated I'll I'll go I'll go away and [TS]

00:28:43   then I'll come back and pay my bill [TS]

00:28:44   politely and feel ashamed for myself [TS]

00:28:46   that I that I said pooh yeah what was [TS]

00:28:49   the resolution at the hilton thing and I [TS]

00:28:52   seem to remember that use never really [TS]

00:28:53   got satisfaction and when I asked you [TS]

00:28:55   about he said see like you're still [TS]

00:28:56   frustrated that nothing had really come [TS]

00:28:57   of it [TS]

00:28:58   no no it's not that I didn't get [TS]

00:28:59   satisfaction I uh the the entire concept [TS]

00:29:02   of the cloud score and the tweet storm [TS]

00:29:05   to me is a case of the corporate world [TS]

00:29:09   has figured out that people do this that [TS]

00:29:11   that if you're dissatisfied with how [TS]

00:29:13   your your your hotel room is prepared [TS]

00:29:15   that they can contact you on the side [TS]

00:29:19   I'll tweet you from their corporate [TS]

00:29:20   account now say hey follow us so we can [TS]

00:29:23   DM you [TS]

00:29:24   nice try and then they'd emu and they [TS]

00:29:27   say hey sorry about the problem how can [TS]

00:29:29   we make it up to you how about a free [TS]

00:29:30   night in a hotel and so what they are [TS]

00:29:33   offering you is to provide you the [TS]

00:29:35   service that you originally contracted [TS]

00:29:37   them to provide which is a night in a [TS]

00:29:39   hotel didn't trying to trying to placate [TS]

00:29:42   you with nothing like it you with [TS]

00:29:43   nothing and ninety-nine percent of the [TS]

00:29:45   people out there and this is the whole [TS]

00:29:47   business of cloud and and this kind of [TS]

00:29:50   similar attempts to to you know to every [TS]

00:29:54   time you say that somebody in 1965 [TS]

00:29:57   saying beetles like an old guy going [TS]

00:30:00   it's like like our music teacher at New [TS]

00:30:01   College anytime you want to sound [TS]

00:30:03   currents a talking heads [TS]

00:30:04   yeah Beatles here's the thing is the [TS]

00:30:06   problem that you got the clouds the [TS]

00:30:08   thing [TS]

00:30:09   but month but ninety-nine percent of the [TS]

00:30:11   people that I see on the internet who [TS]

00:30:14   start a kind of like hey Delta Airlines [TS]

00:30:16   you screwed up my reservation and then [TS]

00:30:19   Delta Airlines comes back and goes all [TS]

00:30:21   sorry [TS]

00:30:22   how about we upgrade you on the honor on [TS]

00:30:24   your next flight and then people like I [TS]

00:30:27   got satisfaction [TS]

00:30:29   oh my god these guys are so great i was [TS]

00:30:30   so mad and now so bad and they're so [TS]

00:30:32   great there so responsive and my feeling [TS]

00:30:36   about it is that was then this was the [TS]

00:30:38   thing in the hilton hotel in this is the [TS]

00:30:40   thing in the firestone like I am [TS]

00:30:42   contracting them i'm paying them to do [TS]

00:30:44   to provide me a certain service and I am [TS]

00:30:47   NOT an unreasonable person and let's say [TS]

00:30:49   you spaced it [TS]

00:30:50   let's say your credit card didn't work [TS]

00:30:51   let's say for whatever reason something [TS]

00:30:53   went wrong [TS]

00:30:54   do you think that they would just go [TS]

00:30:55   that's cool let its Kate yeah that they [TS]

00:30:59   have worked out every single aspect of [TS]

00:31:00   all of that fine print and you start a [TS]

00:31:02   thing that says basically i agree to be [TS]

00:31:03   fucked [TS]

00:31:04   yeah and if and if you said oh how about [TS]

00:31:06   if I make it up to you by paying you the [TS]

00:31:08   money tomorrow [TS]

00:31:10   like it's not gonna work so my field my [TS]

00:31:11   feeling about the power of social media [TS]

00:31:13   is that at a certain point I am no [TS]

00:31:17   longer working for the possibility of [TS]

00:31:21   that company rectifying their mistake [TS]

00:31:23   and now all of my energy is going into a [TS]

00:31:27   kind of scarlet letter that i want to [TS]

00:31:31   brand that business with that says I my [TS]

00:31:36   the satisfaction i'm going to get now is [TS]

00:31:38   not the satisfaction of you making it up [TS]

00:31:40   to me it is the satisfaction i'm going [TS]

00:31:42   to get out of spending a day of my life [TS]

00:31:45   publicly hating you and watching you [TS]

00:31:47   twist on the line and the Hilton Hotel [TS]

00:31:52   sent a guy to my door they state they [TS]

00:31:56   found my my personal email and were [TS]

00:31:58   frantically emailing me to stop instead [TS]

00:32:00   of just fucking fixing it [TS]

00:32:02   they were tweeting me well they tried [TS]

00:32:03   the thing is I got into my hotel room [TS]

00:32:05   and it smells like an abattoir and I [TS]

00:32:07   call down to the front desk and I said [TS]

00:32:09   I'm sorry I asked for a room and you [TS]

00:32:12   have obviously put me in a place where [TS]

00:32:13   they put your sheet can you move me to a [TS]

00:32:15   room that does not smell like this and [TS]

00:32:17   they gave me a bunch of bullshit and I [TS]

00:32:19   was like I'm not coming back down to the [TS]

00:32:20   front desk [TS]

00:32:21   I [TS]

00:32:21   not going through any I'm not jumping [TS]

00:32:23   through a single hoop i'm going to sit [TS]

00:32:25   here in this room not touching any [TS]

00:32:26   surfaces until you send a person my door [TS]

00:32:29   with a key to a different room and they [TS]

00:32:31   were they responded they sent a guide in [TS]

00:32:35   my door with a key to a new room which [TS]

00:32:38   was to a room down the hall on the same [TS]

00:32:41   floor where they had been butchering [TS]

00:32:42   sheep and my new room was no better than [TS]

00:32:45   the last night a solution and I ends at [TS]

00:32:47   that point i said i have given you the [TS]

00:32:49   opportunity you have you you've blown it [TS]

00:32:53   and now you coming to my door and [TS]

00:32:55   offering to put me in the bridal suite [TS]

00:32:56   on the 15th floor is not a solution that [TS]

00:33:00   is that is like an that's you tried to [TS]

00:33:03   plug a hole in the dike know the bridal [TS]

00:33:05   suite in this case you're not talking [TS]

00:33:06   about the one down the hallway single [TS]

00:33:08   you had your chance and you blew it once [TS]

00:33:10   when the guy came to my door after i [TS]

00:33:12   started tweeting about it he was like [TS]

00:33:13   sir I understand there's a problem and I [TS]

00:33:15   was like well and iced out through the [TS]

00:33:17   door [TS]

00:33:18   yeah there's a problem I call down to [TS]

00:33:20   the front you said you put me in a [TS]

00:33:21   different room and it's just as bad as [TS]

00:33:23   the last and he was like well if you'll [TS]

00:33:25   come to the door sir I think we can [TS]

00:33:26   rectify this situation food and I said [TS]

00:33:29   now and I said like how I'm coming to [TS]

00:33:31   the door you send your jackbooted thugs [TS]

00:33:34   to my my hotel room door but instead you [TS]

00:33:37   slide the new key under the door and [TS]

00:33:39   then call me when you're downstairs and [TS]

00:33:41   so eventually i said to the customer [TS]

00:33:43   service rep who was based in Houston [TS]

00:33:45   those who was sending me you know five [TS]

00:33:48   emails a day how do we make this right i [TS]

00:33:50   said here's how you make it writes [TS]

00:33:52   what's one week in hawaii at the hilton [TS]

00:33:56   honolulu and waikiki that is how you [TS]

00:34:00   make it right you just you just hit my [TS]

00:34:01   big fat fuckin button and you know [TS]

00:34:04   okay here's the thing it is hotelshotels [TS]

00:34:06   big-time restaurants sometimes it's not [TS]

00:34:08   you know what mine is mine is exactly [TS]

00:34:11   thought so fucking angry maybe you're [TS]

00:34:13   mad right now all are here how mad you [TS]

00:34:15   are you know what you just you just [TS]

00:34:16   unleashed a dragon [TS]

00:34:18   I did you just hiding the bag i'm gonna [TS]

00:34:21   yngwie all over your first class [TS]

00:34:27   are you always finding great articles on [TS]

00:34:28   the web you love to read but just don't [TS]

00:34:30   have the time [TS]

00:34:31   instapaper saves webpages for reading [TS]

00:34:33   later for ipad iphone android kindle you [TS]

00:34:36   can read when you're waiting on line [TS]

00:34:38   riding the bus eating breakfast or lying [TS]

00:34:40   in bed you can even read offline great [TS]

00:34:43   for when you're on a plane or the subway [TS]

00:34:44   and don't have an internet connection [TS]

00:34:45   pages are shown without clutter or [TS]

00:34:48   distractions you can adjust the text to [TS]

00:34:50   a comfortable size and font and much [TS]

00:34:52   more read more and read better by [TS]

00:34:54   reading later with instapaper get it now [TS]

00:34:57   instapaper dot-com or search for [TS]

00:34:59   instapaper in the app store [TS]

00:35:00   what is your beef Merlin Mann okay first [TS]

00:35:05   of all here's how is your seatbelts [TS]

00:35:08   here's how here's how we should British [TS]

00:35:10   people who are listening to this program [TS]

00:35:11   is how it should go you call down to the [TS]

00:35:14   desk and you say I'm not pleased with my [TS]

00:35:17   room it's not clean and it's stinky [TS]

00:35:20   yes you don't even have to ask for [TS]

00:35:22   anything and you know what they say they [TS]

00:35:23   say I'm terribly sorry we'll take care [TS]

00:35:25   of it immediately and what they what [TS]

00:35:28   they do here is what they do they call [TS]

00:35:30   you right back and say okay we're [TS]

00:35:31   putting you in the Pope suite at the top [TS]

00:35:33   floor in just a minute in just a minute [TS]

00:35:36   our best Bell person is going to come to [TS]

00:35:38   your room [TS]

00:35:39   our top bell guy top bellman is going to [TS]

00:35:42   help personnel lady beltron is going to [TS]

00:35:44   it's going to come down and personally [TS]

00:35:47   move your luggage up there you're going [TS]

00:35:49   to get a free meal tonight and there [TS]

00:35:51   will be a bottle of wine that you're not [TS]

00:35:52   going to drink because you don't drink [TS]

00:35:54   that's what we're going to do and you [TS]

00:35:55   know what you don't do here's the [TS]

00:35:56   problem [TS]

00:35:57   hey you know what it smells like a [TS]

00:35:58   fucking sheep abattoir in here sir [TS]

00:36:01   what do you want me to do about that you [TS]

00:36:03   are in the service industry fucktard you [TS]

00:36:07   take care of it you're telling me you [TS]

00:36:08   work in a hotel and you don't know how [TS]

00:36:10   to take somebody take care of somebody [TS]

00:36:11   who's unhappy about the hotel the guy [TS]

00:36:13   the guy that i called at the front desk [TS]

00:36:15   said well we're really busy down here at [TS]

00:36:17   the front desk that was almost all and i [TS]

00:36:19   said i'm aware that you're busy at the [TS]

00:36:21   front desk because i only moments ago [TS]

00:36:23   waited in line for a half an hour to get [TS]

00:36:27   checked into my hotel room while you [TS]

00:36:29   guys played fucking tiddlywinks and and [TS]

00:36:32   we're doing a like words with friends or [TS]

00:36:35   whatever the fuck you are doing instead [TS]

00:36:36   of [TS]

00:36:37   instead of checking people into the room [TS]

00:36:39   so I know how busy it is down there that [TS]

00:36:41   does not bear markets are about to get a [TS]

00:36:43   lot busier I am across the threshold now [TS]

00:36:46   i am in my room i am a customer now i'm [TS]

00:36:49   not some i'm not some dope waiting in [TS]

00:36:51   line to be a customer i am ensconce tan [TS]

00:36:54   just version now your only customer [TS]

00:36:56   that's right i am the only thing in your [TS]

00:36:58   mind right now get up here and put me in [TS]

00:37:01   the Pope sweet and they put me in the [TS]

00:37:03   baby took me out of the place where they [TS]

00:37:06   stored the dead ton's and they put me [TS]

00:37:09   down the hall in the room where they [TS]

00:37:11   expect me to sleep inside a dead [TS]

00:37:13   tauntaun and I was not prepared to do [TS]

00:37:15   that I I i hope that I i just put this [TS]

00:37:19   way John I'm not asking for a favor here [TS]

00:37:21   yeah I hope that someday I hope that [TS]

00:37:25   someday i earned the right to be on [TS]

00:37:27   something like the supertrain board if [TS]

00:37:29   you don't kill me which I certainly [TS]

00:37:30   deserve but here's the thing that you [TS]

00:37:32   have a place there now can make that the [TS]

00:37:34   table [TS]

00:37:34   here's here's how this works yeah your [TS]

00:37:37   problem [TS]

00:37:38   firestone guy guy now your problem is [TS]

00:37:41   you drive its you you tried to do or we [TS]

00:37:44   or social media douche you try [TS]

00:37:46   containment way too late [TS]

00:37:48   that's right containment is you take [TS]

00:37:50   care of it as soon as I say something [TS]

00:37:52   that's right and if you want me to be [TS]

00:37:54   the guy who says oh thank you for da me [TS]

00:37:56   on twitter you know what you're much [TS]

00:37:57   more likely to get that if you agree [TS]

00:37:59   that you fucked up apologize for it and [TS]

00:38:02   then fix it by exceeding my expectations [TS]

00:38:04   as I don't ask don't ask me what you can [TS]

00:38:07   do to make it right you know she didn't [TS]

00:38:09   make it rising shit out do everything [TS]

00:38:11   that you do is to the guy in houston i [TS]

00:38:14   was like what are you empowered to [TS]

00:38:16   easton that's my question like are you [TS]

00:38:19   some mid-level guy who's empowered to [TS]

00:38:21   give me a night in a hotel because if [TS]

00:38:22   you are fuck you if you are some guy in [TS]

00:38:25   Houston who is sitting in a wood-paneled [TS]

00:38:26   officer you are empowered to and you [TS]

00:38:30   empowered to fly paris hilton out here [TS]

00:38:32   to give me a handy while she sucks my [TS]

00:38:34   toes then get on the phone she's very [TS]

00:38:37   live this happen is yelling we urge [TS]

00:38:40   people i want to encourage this is what [TS]

00:38:42   i did on on Twitter that day was [TS]

00:38:43   encouraged people who have 500 Twitter [TS]

00:38:46   followers who have a hundred and fifteen [TS]

00:38:48   Twitter followers [TS]

00:38:49   to also not sell their good name too [TS]

00:38:54   cheaply don't do not sell your [TS]

00:38:58   satisfaction for a gift bag of hand [TS]

00:39:01   lotion like say no you know what for [TS]

00:39:05   today you have fucked up and it is more [TS]

00:39:07   gratifying to me to punish you and to [TS]

00:39:11   put your social media people to work so [TS]

00:39:14   that maybe this is going to end up the [TS]

00:39:16   the printout of this exchange is going [TS]

00:39:17   to end up on some managers desk like I [TS]

00:39:20   think in the long run that's going to [TS]

00:39:22   have a more profound effect then if the [TS]

00:39:24   guy who whose job it is to give people [TS]

00:39:27   free hotel rooms give somebody a free [TS]

00:39:29   hotel room who he gets to check the box [TS]

00:39:32   that he did his job today his boss [TS]

00:39:35   checks his box that he did his job today [TS]

00:39:37   and and you're still sitting in a room [TS]

00:39:40   that smells like sheep guts and it's [TS]

00:39:43   like or maybe you're in the Pope sweet [TS]

00:39:44   by that point but but it all is just [TS]

00:39:47   running a little too smoothly and we all [TS]

00:39:49   need to stand a fort [TS]

00:39:52   the-the-the coming mediocrity storm and [TS]

00:39:57   say pasta who enough i will not be [TS]

00:40:00   placated by someone whose job it is by [TS]

00:40:04   someone who has only the authority to [TS]

00:40:06   placate me and nothing else to make no [TS]

00:40:08   noise use words neville chamberlain this [TS]

00:40:11   is about so much more than an abattoir [TS]

00:40:14   hotel room this goes so much further [TS]

00:40:16   than that this is there there is another [TS]

00:40:17   it's not even purely about satisfaction [TS]

00:40:20   it's certainly not about hotel rooms [TS]

00:40:22   it's about a slippery slope in which we [TS]

00:40:24   slide under and deeper into into letting [TS]

00:40:28   these people have some kind of private [TS]

00:40:30   fuck up all right ru ru chamberlain or [TS]

00:40:33   are you a Churchill you know where we'll [TS]

00:40:36   fight them on the beaches who will find [TS]

00:40:39   them in the air will never surrender her [TS]

00:40:44   oh my God he's so fucking angry I I my [TS]

00:40:50   problem is I don't have any staying [TS]

00:40:51   power [TS]

00:40:51   like I i will the thing is i will burn [TS]

00:40:54   and i will have a little steam i will [TS]

00:40:57   steam in one case in one case i think i [TS]

00:40:59   mentioned that the google me episode III [TS]

00:41:01   actually did go to the business computer [TS]

00:41:04   and look up the name of everybody on the [TS]

00:41:05   board [TS]

00:41:06   I want to their pages i found out their [TS]

00:41:08   email addresses and I i think the depths [TS]

00:41:10   of my douchiness was me walking up to [TS]

00:41:12   the desk of the person who had wronged [TS]

00:41:14   me the previous day and pulling out what [TS]

00:41:17   not know that look like is about 10 [TS]

00:41:19   sheets of paper but it was really too [TS]

00:41:20   and I flipped through a very casual and [TS]

00:41:21   I said is is robert lewis jr still the [TS]

00:41:27   hospitality director for the name of [TS]

00:41:29   parent corporation [TS]

00:41:30   yes Ellen NEC is he still on pico down [TS]

00:41:34   in santa monica is that correct or [TS]

00:41:36   whatever whatever you were threatening [TS]

00:41:38   them with the with implications they [TS]

00:41:40   might have actually acted like I was [TS]

00:41:41   talking on the phone to we're talking to [TS]

00:41:44   your wallet my wallet my wallet where [TS]

00:41:47   they have already put ever put a hold on [TS]

00:41:49   my cards all brother [TS]

00:41:51   well you know that the thing is that i [TS]

00:41:53   have always felt that denying yourself [TS]

00:41:57   gratification is and it is probably the [TS]

00:42:02   most important training exercise you can [TS]

00:42:05   do you need to sit in your place [TS]

00:42:08   wherever you are right now and the thing [TS]

00:42:10   that you want the most [TS]

00:42:11   you want to try and deny yourself that [TS]

00:42:14   thing this is a core value for you [TS]

00:42:16   that's right and the more that you are [TS]

00:42:18   able to sit in a place where you really [TS]

00:42:22   want something and deny yourself that [TS]

00:42:24   thing even if that thing is the [TS]

00:42:26   satisfaction of sending somebody an [TS]

00:42:28   angry email or you know somebody had [TS]

00:42:31   somebody uh wrote me an email the other [TS]

00:42:33   day that was that the email from there [TS]

00:42:37   should have been an apology but what the [TS]

00:42:39   email said was you are a wee we [TS]

00:42:44   shouldn't hang out right now because [TS]

00:42:45   you're too unstable and I'm too unstable [TS]

00:42:48   right and I was like well no in fact I'm [TS]

00:42:53   not unstable at all [TS]

00:42:54   you really fucked up in this situation [TS]

00:42:58   and i agree we shouldn't hang out right [TS]

00:43:00   now but the reason is that you fucked up [TS]

00:43:03   and owe me an apology and the end to [TS]

00:43:06   write me a thing that says we shouldn't [TS]

00:43:08   hang out right now because we're both [TS]

00:43:09   too fucked up is it demanded a response [TS]

00:43:15   from me and as I started to compose the [TS]

00:43:17   response where i explain to the person [TS]

00:43:19   that they were fucked up and that I was [TS]

00:43:21   not fucked up I realized that there was [TS]

00:43:23   no that my endgame was but i had no [TS]

00:43:26   endgame no no this is where you get on [TS]

00:43:28   your phone [TS]

00:43:29   he said listen I'm standing in front of [TS]

00:43:31   Sal's please deliver a large truck full [TS]

00:43:33   of chairs and a bunch of matches and [TS]

00:43:35   gasoline i'm taking my clothes off get [TS]

00:43:38   here as soon as you can and so I i [TS]

00:43:39   realized that this was a situation where [TS]

00:43:41   i needed to deny myself the thing I [TS]

00:43:43   wanted most of which in this case was to [TS]

00:43:46   reply to this person to retort and to [TS]

00:43:49   say no bullshit fuck you and I I needed [TS]

00:43:53   to I kept saying to myself like you say [TS]

00:43:55   to a dog I kept saying leave it leave it [TS]

00:43:58   leave it leave it and it would pop into [TS]

00:44:01   my head i would go but guy did this [TS]

00:44:03   cannot stand this person's this person's [TS]

00:44:07   fucked upness cannot stand it needs to [TS]

00:44:10   be called out by me and then I was like [TS]

00:44:13   leave it leave it leave it leave it and [TS]

00:44:17   I I say that to myself so much in the [TS]

00:44:20   course of a day [TS]

00:44:21   leave it leave it and what that does is [TS]

00:44:24   it trains me to go all the way through a [TS]

00:44:28   process like the one with the hilton [TS]

00:44:30   hotel where there are a thousand [TS]

00:44:33   opportunities to like get a kind of [TS]

00:44:37   cheap satisfaction a cheap like oh oh [TS]

00:44:42   I'm gonna come all I came who and to say [TS]

00:44:46   no i am not going to come drink water [TS]

00:44:48   and you sit and read the Bible I'm gonna [TS]

00:44:50   sit here wanted I just build it up I'm [TS]

00:44:53   gonna sit here on my fucking carpet of [TS]

00:44:55   nails and i am going to i'm going to [TS]

00:44:59   cultivate this peak that I'm in until I [TS]

00:45:03   am a bit until i have a diamond point [TS]

00:45:06   and now i'm not going to i'm not going [TS]

00:45:10   to satisfy you get a lot accomplished [TS]

00:45:11   while you're doing that [TS]

00:45:13   oh well yeah you don't know because I [TS]

00:45:15   mean that thing is to make a diamond [TS]

00:45:17   point in a hotel room that takes a lot [TS]

00:45:18   of focus it does and what the what I'm [TS]

00:45:21   accomplishing is that I am climbing a [TS]

00:45:23   ladder and it is not the it is not the [TS]

00:45:27   Buddhist ladder of enlightenment i have [TS]

00:45:28   no doubt that when I if there is [TS]

00:45:31   reincarnation when I am reincarnated in [TS]

00:45:34   my next life that it's going to be [TS]

00:45:36   something it's going to be a very [TS]

00:45:37   oblique angle into my next form you know [TS]

00:45:41   what I mean I'm not working my way into [TS]

00:45:44   a higher frame necessarily there's going [TS]

00:45:47   to be it's going to go through a prism [TS]

00:45:49   and i'm going to come out the other side [TS]

00:45:51   as like a box of Cracker Jacks i'm going [TS]

00:45:53   to come out the other side as a wave [TS]

00:45:55   like a solitary wave on the ocean [TS]

00:45:59   I don't know what's gonna happen to come [TS]

00:46:01   back as a wave i'm going to come back as [TS]

00:46:03   a wave i'm gonna come back I'm gonna [TS]

00:46:06   come back as a wind [TS]

00:46:08   I don't know what it's gonna be but it [TS]

00:46:10   was you self aware i have no way of [TS]

00:46:13   knowing whether the wind is self-aware I [TS]

00:46:15   i had some encounters with wind where [TS]

00:46:17   I'm like you've got to be fucking [TS]

00:46:18   kidding me right now your time is bad [TS]

00:46:21   I know what you're doing you are you are [TS]

00:46:23   working on me and I'm not I'm I'm not [TS]

00:46:26   gonna I'm not going to sit here and [TS]

00:46:28   pretend that you're just some wind up on [TS]

00:46:31   the wind [TS]

00:46:31   you are a wind that is you are a wind [TS]

00:46:34   that is acting within with a kind of [TS]

00:46:36   agency and maybe that is somebody like [TS]

00:46:40   me who to who died a hundred years ago [TS]

00:46:42   who came back as the wind [TS]

00:46:45   I don't know this is this is not so far [TS]

00:46:47   off the not a problem problem like when [TS]

00:46:49   something the whole I can you know what [TS]

00:46:51   he said last time you say thank you say [TS]

00:46:52   not a problem [TS]

00:46:53   well you know part of it is you sit [TS]

00:46:55   there and you got eaten my room now you [TS]

00:46:57   know the first one of the first things I [TS]

00:46:58   do in my room addition to putting on [TS]

00:46:59   gloves and a mask is like you and all [TS]

00:47:01   your hotel room all the marketing [TS]

00:47:03   materials anything that's got a logo on [TS]

00:47:05   it that i can tear off with something it [TS]

00:47:06   all goes into the lowest drawer and I [TS]

00:47:08   don't include the water always check my [TS]

00:47:10   bill because they bill me for the water [TS]

00:47:12   that I didn't have [TS]

00:47:13   whoa already went to the water I don't [TS]

00:47:15   see any of I don't see any logos I don't [TS]

00:47:16   see anything all goes in the door if i [TS]

00:47:18   were to sit down to read that though I [TS]

00:47:19   read so much about their luxurious [TS]

00:47:21   service and how they take care of and so [TS]

00:47:24   on and so on something but then i sent [TS]

00:47:26   you a link that data Boyd was you know [TS]

00:47:28   she travels a lot she always goes to the [TS]

00:47:30   same brand of hotels and she had this [TS]

00:47:32   sizzling blog post and tweet bomb about [TS]

00:47:36   this [TS]

00:47:36   do you know how bad they oversell hotels [TS]

00:47:38   the Oversoul hotels and the answer to [TS]

00:47:41   her was for some airplanes she got there [TS]

00:47:43   yeah yeah and she got there and they're [TS]

00:47:44   like oh we're oversold we're gonna put [TS]

00:47:47   you on a bus essentially and drive you [TS]

00:47:49   to another party town even though she [TS]

00:47:51   got there early she's gonna do her work [TS]

00:47:52   for a presentation tomorrow you know at [TS]

00:47:54   NB and be like in the building with [TS]

00:47:56   where things going to be oh no we're [TS]

00:47:58   gonna we're gonna put you were gonna [TS]

00:47:59   take you over to start 13 yeah which is [TS]

00:48:01   not as nice that's happened to me in [TS]

00:48:03   Argentina one time I was in Buenos RS [TS]

00:48:07   and I showed up to my luxury hotel it [TS]

00:48:09   was during I swear to you one of those [TS]

00:48:12   rolling stones concerts where they play [TS]

00:48:15   for a million people right and it's a [TS]

00:48:17   thing where the the last 500 containing [TS]

00:48:20   these love big stadiums they do the last [TS]

00:48:23   550,000 people are watching it on a [TS]

00:48:25   video screen and it's a time delay where [TS]

00:48:27   the the the riff is getting to you like [TS]

00:48:29   11 minutes after it was played anyway [TS]

00:48:32   the city is completely sold out and it's [TS]

00:48:33   sold out and it's full of South American [TS]

00:48:36   Rolling Stones fans and I show up my [TS]

00:48:39   luxury hotel in there like sorry [TS]

00:48:42   oversold lo siento [TS]

00:48:45   and I said whoa what you mean you're [TS]

00:48:49   sorry and they were and the guy looked [TS]

00:48:52   at me he was very well-dressed arginine [TS]

00:48:54   other very good dressers likely arjun [TS]

00:48:57   times they're extremely extremely [TS]

00:48:59   fashion-conscious he was a very handsome [TS]

00:49:01   young man and he looked at me over the [TS]

00:49:03   over the desk and he was very very clear [TS]

00:49:08   that he was not in the least bit sorry [TS]

00:49:11   and oh i had a like he should have just [TS]

00:49:14   said he should have just said you know [TS]

00:49:16   what dude I can't help you [TS]

00:49:17   yeah he and basically so much worse he [TS]

00:49:20   said there's a hotel somewhere that i [TS]

00:49:22   can get you to that's over somewhere [TS]

00:49:24   else and it's not as good as this one [TS]

00:49:26   and something something that's the [TS]

00:49:28   that's the deal and anyway next year in [TS]

00:49:32   a way here in a way it was refreshing [TS]

00:49:35   because he did not he did not attempt he [TS]

00:49:40   did not offer me a solution that was not [TS]

00:49:41   a solution [TS]

00:49:42   he said this is the deal you are [TS]

00:49:45   arriving here at too late [TS]

00:49:47   basically we sold a bunch of hotel rooms [TS]

00:49:49   and then everybody got here before you [TS]

00:49:52   so maybe that's your problem but this is [TS]

00:49:56   South America my friend and we are not [TS]

00:49:59   we're not we're not pretending that this [TS]

00:50:03   is fine and that this is going to be [TS]

00:50:04   fine with you were that we care you're [TS]

00:50:06   never coming back here [TS]

00:50:07   eat shit so what you do i went to a [TS]

00:50:10   restaurant and had a delicious steak [TS]

00:50:12   house they got lots of steak there and [TS]

00:50:13   then I said you know what I'm gonna I [TS]

00:50:15   don't even need to be and whereas ours [TS]

00:50:16   what am I doing here and i went to put [TS]

00:50:20   down the road now it's a different site [TS]

00:50:22   was I doing ping-pong there is an [TS]

00:50:23   Argentine where they put the soccer [TS]

00:50:25   stadiums to use method is using that was [TS]

00:50:28   somewhere else [TS]

00:50:29   Oh what are you you are you talking [TS]

00:50:31   about the different places where they [TS]

00:50:33   disappeared people wasn't yeah that's [TS]

00:50:35   right they just brought the sedo to them [TS]

00:50:37   oh that sounds terrible it was terrible [TS]

00:50:40   yeah you know the thing about [TS]

00:50:41   Argentina's it's not some Banana [TS]

00:50:43   Republic it's a it's a real and [TS]

00:50:45   grapefruit Republic around eating steak [TS]

00:50:48   Republic it's a gaucho Republic they [TS]

00:50:50   have here when you're there you feel [TS]

00:50:52   like you are in spain which actually [TS]

00:50:55   also disappeared a lot of people there [TS]

00:50:57   in the 20th century [TS]

00:50:58   actually you know what the Holocaust [TS]

00:51:00   could happen anywhere at anytime the [TS]

00:51:02   monsters inside of a see how that [TS]

00:51:04   totally struck me do it today I'm [TS]

00:51:06   sitting on i'm sitting on pins and [TS]

00:51:07   needles here in my chair because the [TS]

00:51:10   blue angels are here haha we get the [TS]

00:51:13   Blue Angels it's awful seven thirty in [TS]

00:51:15   the morning fucking strengthening our [TS]

00:51:16   house waking my daughter [TS]

00:51:18   yeah they go everywhere [TS]

00:51:19   uh I'm a I'm a fan of the blue angels [TS]

00:51:22   i'm a fan of them because i like the [TS]

00:51:24   technology of super fast jets i'm a fan [TS]

00:51:27   of them also because that experience [TS]

00:51:29   that you're having of being strafed in [TS]

00:51:33   the in the the safety and security of [TS]

00:51:36   your own home is a feeling i think every [TS]

00:51:38   American should have once a year where [TS]

00:51:40   they're sitting there and then all of a [TS]

00:51:42   sudden they're under attack brutal [TS]

00:51:44   attack silly little reminder little [TS]

00:51:46   taste little taste of London here's what [TS]

00:51:47   it feels like [TS]

00:51:48   that's right it's like there are people [TS]

00:51:50   all over the world right now who are [TS]

00:51:51   sitting in their little mud house and [TS]

00:51:53   American jets are flying really low [TS]

00:51:54   right over them and maybe unleashing [TS]

00:51:57   some machine gunfire so you should just [TS]

00:52:00   it if it hurts your feelings of it if [TS]

00:52:03   its bills your water glass we should [TS]

00:52:04   just let it be a reminder you're saying [TS]

00:52:07   it's like sitting there not coming this [TS]

00:52:08   is something where America could be [TS]

00:52:10   improved by a little bit of strength [TS]

00:52:11   inspiron jets [TS]

00:52:12   well it's happening we are being strafed [TS]

00:52:14   by our own Jets be with it because every [TS]

00:52:16   you know every certainly every scary [TS]

00:52:18   coastal town the Navy comes in at one [TS]

00:52:21   point or another they have Navy days or [TS]

00:52:24   in our case it's Seafarer semen semen [TS]

00:52:26   and the Navy takes over the town and [TS]

00:52:28   they they go through all the bar come on [TS]

00:52:30   everything that's right and there's a [TS]

00:52:32   lot more rapes and members jets fly over [TS]

00:52:35   real world and it's like you have been [TS]

00:52:37   occupied by an invading army it only [TS]

00:52:40   lasts for a little while and all the [TS]

00:52:42   chamber commerce guys are thrilled [TS]

00:52:44   because that because of the businesses [TS]

00:52:46   are profitable for a month but it's [TS]

00:52:49   something we should all keep in mind [TS]

00:52:50   like this is you know how much we spend [TS]

00:52:52   on this stuff it's very expensive to [TS]

00:52:53   build these things and we should all [TS]

00:52:55   have a first-hand experience of what [TS]

00:52:57   they're there for [TS]

00:52:57   which is to fly really low over people's [TS]

00:52:59   houses and have them shit their pants [TS]

00:53:01   and scare their little babies 30 30 [TS]

00:53:04   million dollars I fact-check that sweet [TS]

00:53:06   i just sent me 30 million dollars for [TS]

00:53:07   one of those jets that was straightness [TS]

00:53:08   so I woke up this morning and what they [TS]

00:53:10   do with the Blue Angels do as they fly a [TS]

00:53:12   the access they practice a lot first [TS]

00:53:14   they do but they have a c-130 which is a [TS]

00:53:16   four-engine turboprop transport plane [TS]

00:53:19   that is for their crew and it flies the [TS]

00:53:23   choir smirk and is now i'm sorry i'm [TS]

00:53:25   imagining somebody like takes off work [TS]

00:53:28   to take their kids to see the air show [TS]

00:53:30   it's just very very slow mikako plane [TS]

00:53:34   and slow claps but it takes 15 minutes i [TS]

00:53:39   think the c-130 is an amazing every 20 [TS]

00:53:42   out of the sky with a 45 [TS]

00:53:43   I've actually flown in a c-130 and they [TS]

00:53:46   are their tremendous tremendous [TS]

00:53:49   airplanes the Hercules is what they're [TS]

00:53:51   called but so the Hercules it flies the [TS]

00:53:54   course that be that the FAA teens are [TS]

00:53:57   going to class in plane that flies very [TS]

00:54:00   low and it has a very distinctive sound [TS]

00:54:03   those Church turboprop engines have this [TS]

00:54:05   very like big throbbing borough are and [TS]

00:54:09   that flies round my house is right by [TS]

00:54:11   the airport so they fly about a hundred [TS]

00:54:12   and fifty feet over my house and so they [TS]

00:54:15   woke me up this morning in the c-130 and [TS]

00:54:18   I said usually that c-130 flies over and [TS]

00:54:22   three minutes later their FA teens [TS]

00:54:26   basically touching their landing gear on [TS]

00:54:29   my chimney like they go over my house so [TS]

00:54:31   low I can read their drivers licenses [TS]

00:54:34   and I'm so I wake up and I'm like you [TS]

00:54:37   know that I've got a baby here it's just [TS]

00:54:39   the two of us it's me and me and the [TS]

00:54:41   baby and I I jump out of that I run [TS]

00:54:43   downstairs i get her out of her crib and [TS]

00:54:46   I'm like you know she's 16 months old [TS]

00:54:49   and I say today is airplane day airplane [TS]

00:54:54   and she knows what airplanes are and she [TS]

00:54:56   points to the sky and I'm like that's [TS]

00:54:57   right [TS]

00:54:58   airplane but today is different today [TS]

00:55:02   big airplane day loud airplane and she's [TS]

00:55:07   looking at me like why are you talking [TS]

00:55:10   to me like this i have a dirty diaper [TS]

00:55:13   can I have a banana and I'm like banana [TS]

00:55:16   second airplane because when these [TS]

00:55:20   airplanes go over i know she's gonna [TS]

00:55:22   shit your pants and I'm like airplane [TS]

00:55:24   airplane all all morning I'm like [TS]

00:55:26   airplanes they could come at any time so [TS]

00:55:29   loud because that's how these things are [TS]

00:55:31   they give you no warning at all they're [TS]

00:55:32   really really fast and they fly over [TS]

00:55:34   this part that drives me crazy I can't [TS]

00:55:36   understand how you could slot why you [TS]

00:55:38   would want to 530 million dollar jet [TS]

00:55:40   over a populated city and make a boom [TS]

00:55:42   because we paid that 30 million dollars [TS]

00:55:45   and this is them showing off like it's [TS]

00:55:48   like look what you bought look what you [TS]

00:55:49   made [TS]

00:55:50   we can we can scare this weekend rattle [TS]

00:55:52   all your little Hummel figurines right [TS]

00:55:54   off the shelves just by flying over and [TS]

00:55:57   hitting the gas so anyway all day long I [TS]

00:56:00   know these fucking bird birds are here i [TS]

00:56:02   have been down to the airport I went [TS]

00:56:04   down there last night and there they all [TS]

00:56:05   were lined up there on the on the flight [TS]

00:56:09   deck and I'm like the blue angels are [TS]

00:56:12   here and they never miss a chance and so [TS]

00:56:15   all all day I've been in this kind of [TS]

00:56:17   pregnancy of like when are they gonna [TS]

00:56:20   fly over the house they're going to come [TS]

00:56:23   I know it's coming i was probably going [TS]

00:56:24   to happen in the middle of my podcast [TS]

00:56:26   and yet it is deathly quiet [TS]

00:56:30   the birds are not tweeting insects are [TS]

00:56:34   not buzzing everything knows that that [TS]

00:56:37   the storm is coming but they are there [TS]

00:56:40   are no planes in the sky [TS]

00:56:41   I don't know why they're not striving my [TS]

00:56:43   house it's driving me crazy [TS]

00:56:45   there it sits like a some psyops that [TS]

00:56:48   they're they're pulling this year only [TS]

00:56:50   where it's like yeah we're here [TS]

00:56:52   it's a beautiful sunny day oh we could [TS]

00:56:53   be flushed like your own personal world [TS]

00:56:55   war one just sitting there Doug in [TS]

00:56:56   either they know they're out there you [TS]

00:56:58   don't know where you don't know when [TS]

00:57:00   they're going to come right over the [TS]

00:57:00   hills [TS]

00:57:01   it's Christmas Day do we play soccer or [TS]

00:57:03   are they going to snipe me as soon as I [TS]

00:57:05   stick my head above the trench they both [TS]

00:57:07   Paul McCartney who the Germans on the [TS]

00:57:10   british guiana video types of peace [TS]

00:57:12   however that they made the promise we [TS]

00:57:15   made a video and of course you know as I [TS]

00:57:18   believe you're Paul man to that both of [TS]

00:57:20   them are Paul McCartney I vaguely [TS]

00:57:23   remember this but this was during the [TS]

00:57:25   give my regards to Broad Street area if [TS]

00:57:27   i'm not mistaken [TS]

00:57:28   well it was actions after wings was good [TS]

00:57:31   so it's all it's all kind of one big [TS]

00:57:33   hairball for me [TS]

00:57:34   yeah there was a there was a point there [TS]

00:57:36   between 1977 and the present where [TS]

00:57:41   everything Paul did I looked at out only [TS]

00:57:44   out of the corner of my eye I could not [TS]

00:57:46   look directly at it [TS]

00:57:48   yeah basically try it's like drunk dad [TS]

00:57:49   you still like every once in a while [TS]

00:57:51   you're like oh I wonder if this will be [TS]

00:57:53   really really good [TS]

00:57:54   when he made that acoustic record that [TS]

00:57:56   was actually really great friend that's [TS]

00:57:58   good i enjoyed that very much [TS]

00:58:00   there's always these that I mean you're [TS]

00:58:02   absolutely right i look at everything [TS]

00:58:03   but but I particularly like when he's [TS]

00:58:07   doing music videos where he is both [TS]

00:58:10   characters who I just can't look [TS]

00:58:14   directly at LVL Collins kind of thing to [TS]

00:58:16   go it'll burn onto your retina and then [TS]

00:58:19   you can never really see honestly I mean [TS]

00:58:22   how do you feel about Phil Collins his [TS]

00:58:23   face being on so many records if you're [TS]

00:58:25   such a big phil collins fan doesn't it [TS]

00:58:27   bug you that is giant fat faces on the [TS]

00:58:28   cover of all his albums [TS]

00:58:29   well here's the thing about phil collins [TS]

00:58:32   who take a good look at him take a look [TS]

00:58:34   at him now take a look at him man take [TS]

00:58:37   it will be standing here take a look at [TS]

00:58:40   your girlfriend that's pretty good you [TS]

00:58:41   gotta admit that was pretty fast so it's [TS]

00:58:43   not it's coming back to him as against [TS]

00:58:45   Allah Azza if you if you take a look at [TS]

00:58:48   Phil Collins you will realize he is 5 [TS]

00:58:50   feet tall who is bald dude he looks like [TS]

00:58:54   someone carved a face into an apple and [TS]

00:58:57   the left it sitting this like a [TS]

00:58:58   self-satisfied ass are but you know a [TS]

00:59:00   bottom of behind and yet and yet in [TS]

00:59:03   spite of all that at the very height of [TS]

00:59:06   the era where we were all claiming that [TS]

00:59:09   music video had made it impossible for [TS]

00:59:12   bands like Foghat to succeed because fog [TS]

00:59:15   had existed in a pre music video area [TS]

00:59:17   where they were all stupid-looking [TS]

00:59:19   scorpions are no bargain either close [TS]

00:59:23   mining for classic example 5 still at [TS]

00:59:25   all right James tips it looks like [TS]

00:59:27   Gallagher without a mustache who and it [TS]

00:59:31   rejected talking characters did phil [TS]

00:59:32   collins was the biggest star in the [TS]

00:59:36   world and so that should give us all hot [TS]

00:59:39   and not only the biggest star in the [TS]

00:59:40   world but as you say he his face was his [TS]

00:59:43   brand he put his little bald head on the [TS]

00:59:46   cover of every album and was the biggest [TS]

00:59:49   star in the world he was in every music [TS]

00:59:51   video [TS]

00:59:52   he was a massive sex is like that guy [TS]

00:59:54   from simply red who has supposedly [TS]

00:59:56   bedded every famous starlet of the [TS]

00:59:59   eighties [TS]

00:59:59   eighties [TS]

01:00:00   icom ginger that little that little [TS]

01:00:01   creepy little ginger midget music sorry [TS]

01:00:03   small person is that is then I think [TS]

01:00:07   it's I think it's we're Edmund this is [TS]

01:00:09   what they said in Scotland you know what [TS]

01:00:11   I'm sure that we have a whole contingent [TS]

01:00:13   of our listeners yeah who are not only [TS]

01:00:15   bronies but are also ginger they are [TS]

01:00:18   trying to decide right now whether they [TS]

01:00:20   should send a tweet i think that famous [TS]

01:00:22   he was that famous sex pistol show I [TS]

01:00:24   think who the those simply red garnet [TS]

01:00:27   hockey was comfortable yet we know what [TS]

01:00:29   they believe the muskox and everybody [TS]

01:00:30   was sleeping with supermodels that he [TS]

01:00:32   literally had to stand on a stack of [TS]

01:00:35   phone books just to insert himself into [TS]

01:00:38   them god oh it was a very very famous [TS]

01:00:45   popular certain pink and yet you could [TS]

01:00:49   you could not look at him without [TS]

01:00:50   feeling like he was a he was a kind of a [TS]

01:00:53   like a like them the model up on which a [TS]

01:00:58   cabbage patch dolls were designed like [TS]

01:01:01   it he's not he looks he looks like a [TS]

01:01:02   cross between up a lot of miles from [TS]

01:01:05   Thompson Twins why do I know that name [TS]

01:01:07   and how is in and maybe alison moyet [TS]

01:01:10   science [TS]

01:01:12   yeah you just pulled out the name of the [TS]

01:01:14   girl who shaved her head except for the [TS]

01:01:16   background she cut off for eyebrows and [TS]

01:01:18   she had a floopy head chef loopy hair [TS]

01:01:19   and eyebrows the deal with that hat they [TS]

01:01:22   love their hats and Thompson Twins I saw [TS]

01:01:23   them I saw them with Berlin with flowers [TS]

01:01:26   and improving my girlfriend passed out [TS]

01:01:28   the show now you have sounded grouchy [TS]

01:01:30   wait [TS]

01:01:31   nope she watched somebody up here [TS]

01:01:32   something cuz this is when punk rock [TS]

01:01:34   people would still go to the shows and [TS]

01:01:35   try and look tough if you saw somebody [TS]

01:01:37   take a Thompson Twins pin and try to [TS]

01:01:38   pierce themselves within she passed out [TS]

01:01:40   here early i'm hot stones were not as [TS]

01:01:43   good as you'd expect [TS]

01:01:45   no no they were they were kind of [TS]

01:01:46   terrible i was listening to Thompson [TS]

01:01:47   Twins record the other is not it is not [TS]

01:01:49   H well its credibility still works [TS]

01:01:52   where's Sam amazing because that's such [TS]

01:01:54   a distinctive vocal style it is and that [TS]

01:01:56   was the other one the one where they had [TS]

01:01:58   the same name album and song leader the [TS]

01:02:02   one part of noise no no I say like a [TS]

01:02:04   name like that uh come back to me but [TS]

01:02:07   they're really good the atoms in the [TS]

01:02:08   nineties that were really good one time [TS]

01:02:10   I was good i was in san francisco i was [TS]

01:02:13   hit [TS]

01:02:13   talk talk talk well see talk then you [TS]

01:02:16   think better than you think the second [TS]

01:02:18   like the original talktalk where talk [TS]

01:02:21   talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk [TS]

01:02:24   that was a that was a certain kind of [TS]

01:02:26   early eighties pop but then the later [TS]

01:02:28   talk talk it was good just amazing music [TS]

01:02:30   i love that album the color of spring is [TS]

01:02:33   one of the great that's one of the great [TS]

01:02:35   boy you have throwaway lines about talk [TS]

01:02:37   and screwed equality and i have been [TS]

01:02:38   i've been corrected I've been sent back [TS]

01:02:40   to my room to go and listen to them and [TS]

01:02:42   they are really really good see now in [TS]

01:02:44   my head in my head talktalk is like [TS]

01:02:46   second first which has to wonder kid [TS]

01:02:49   songs for record and maybe like who did [TS]

01:02:52   whisper to screen you know that ban but [TS]

01:02:55   was booked to scream what's the other [TS]

01:02:59   one the other band has a system that guy [TS]

01:03:02   with bad teeth LOL as a babalu gosh I [TS]

01:03:06   was yeah that's what everyone else I'd [TS]

01:03:12   like an x 92 ya think French and give me [TS]

01:03:14   something out of my signal works [TS]

01:03:19   whoa alright icicle works in pants that [TS]

01:03:24   you pulled that out [TS]

01:03:25   icicle works whisper to scream yeah [TS]

01:03:27   who's gonna be able to think about the [TS]

01:03:29   guy with the hat in the bad teeth [TS]

01:03:30   it wasn't depeche mode because the hat [TS]

01:03:32   and the bad send me an angel sent me the [TS]

01:03:36   name Joe as right now right now you know [TS]

01:03:43   else is pretty good big country real [TS]

01:03:45   life real life to send me an angel also [TS]

01:03:46   big country become people think pretty [TS]

01:03:49   pretty good but that is our steel town [TS]

01:03:51   boogie town what's that whatever they [TS]

01:03:53   have still still face and I won't ban [TS]

01:03:54   that this long to get here you are I [TS]

01:03:57   think your gear having a little bit of [TS]

01:03:58   an eighties pop time at home taking a [TS]

01:04:01   little trip against fuck the thing the [TS]

01:04:04   thing about the thing about think about [TS]

01:04:07   real life [TS]

01:04:08   the thing about the psychedelic furs is [TS]

01:04:10   that they had a couple of good song and [TS]

01:04:12   for getting pressured and the rest were [TS]

01:04:15   shitty little shit they're like you know [TS]

01:04:18   cheap trick they have like one or two [TS]

01:04:20   amazing songs per record no matter what [TS]

01:04:22   and then a lot of stuff for like you [TS]

01:04:23   know you could have you could have done [TS]

01:04:25   an EP you can eat [TS]

01:04:26   it's but it's rock and roll like cheap [TS]

01:04:27   tricks on the shitty songs on cheap [TS]

01:04:29   trick records are not hurt your feelings [TS]

01:04:31   with you by if you buy a second look [TS]

01:04:33   first even the even second first [TS]

01:04:35   greatest hits [TS]

01:04:36   oh i bought it i bought it two years ago [TS]

01:04:37   and five songs and you're like all the [TS]

01:04:40   rest of the guys got love money you got [TS]

01:04:41   love my way [TS]

01:04:42   wait to write right but I mean like a [TS]

01:04:44   president president gasps really the [TS]

01:04:46   original pretty thing before the and all [TS]

01:04:48   that fruity stuff together gasps [TS]

01:04:49   terrible terrible song [TS]

01:04:50   yeah in excess is an example of a band [TS]

01:04:53   where they had to absolutely to great [TS]

01:04:56   songs per record in the rest were fine [TS]

01:04:59   everybody wants to go to soup and salad [TS]

01:05:01   dog [TS]

01:05:02   ok some of the more terrible the [TS]

01:05:04   terrible song you know it's good that i [TS]

01:05:05   like that bad Babs what's up with [TS]

01:05:08   something goes bad I'm doing a just [TS]

01:05:10   landsberg song i pop but now talk talk [TS]

01:05:14   talk talk talk isn't that where this [TS]

01:05:17   that where the singles are very very [TS]

01:05:19   good but level of quality throughout the [TS]

01:05:22   record is remains very high it's that [TS]

01:05:25   I've heard that yeah hey Sam it's very [TS]

01:05:27   ate the production is very 80 sounding [TS]

01:05:29   but the talk talk records as a whole you [TS]

01:05:31   can put on and you can go about your [TS]

01:05:32   business and the and the records will [TS]

01:05:35   they will not hurt your feelings there [TS]

01:05:36   then there's not going to be any like no [TS]

01:05:39   surprise reggae tune oh alright surprise [TS]

01:05:43   regular toon that like we didn't have [TS]

01:05:45   another throwaway technique lash what [TS]

01:05:47   about what about body frame what about [TS]

01:05:49   the Aztec camera he was like the [TS]

01:05:50   Scottish Bentley my breast a camera you [TS]

01:05:53   are [TS]

01:05:53   i do but it's we're getting we're [TS]

01:05:55   getting deep into some Tourette's you [TS]

01:05:57   know what nobody cares about music [TS]

01:05:58   didn't know what if you start talking [TS]

01:06:00   about Mitch easter I'm gonna have to [TS]

01:06:01   ring the bell now without talking about [TS]

01:06:03   John Dixon most of the girls like the [TS]

01:06:07   dance but or less some of the boys do [TS]

01:06:10   like I you know what anything is REM [TS]

01:06:13   yeah we should talk about no don't you [TS]

01:06:16   have a separate punch something like our [TS]

01:06:18   41st episode was still in the REM [TS]

01:06:20   episode we need to do in rem episode [TS]

01:06:22   yeah I was gonna say one x active i was [TS]

01:06:24   about let's act i just not want to talk [TS]

01:06:26   about let's active right now right in [TS]

01:06:28   the spirit tracks in san francisco and i [TS]

01:06:30   didn't all this out this is one of those [TS]

01:06:32   things one of those things where it is i [TS]

01:06:34   don't know how many of our listeners [TS]

01:06:36   have ever hitchhiked I [TS]

01:06:37   I i doubt anymore anybody under 40 [TS]

01:06:40   really does much for checking because [TS]

01:06:41   it's not a thing that's regarded as safe [TS]

01:06:43   but when i was a teenager it was still [TS]

01:06:46   it was never regarded as safe but it was [TS]

01:06:47   still fairly common but was it wasn't it [TS]

01:06:50   wasn't something like new unknown deadly [TS]

01:06:52   thing [TS]

01:06:52   yeah you don't get it's not like people [TS]

01:06:54   say don't ever check that you ran out of [TS]

01:06:55   gas you can hitchhike hitchhike and I [TS]

01:06:58   did quite a bit of hitchhiking a and in [TS]

01:07:01   fact it's right across America a couple [TS]

01:07:03   of times and it's like the petoskey up a [TS]

01:07:08   couple of times a couple times but one [TS]

01:07:10   time i was in san francisco mint [TS]

01:07:12   condition fourth one day I'm going to [TS]

01:07:13   sit down I'm going to sit there in a [TS]

01:07:15   spreadsheet motherfucking write all this [TS]

01:07:16   down and I think the math is not going [TS]

01:07:18   to stock up on your side [TS]

01:07:19   just away you'd be super into Germany [TS]

01:07:22   literally millions of times millions of [TS]

01:07:24   times which I cry hitchhiked I [TS]

01:07:26   hitchhiked from the southern coast of [TS]

01:07:28   Portugal to amsterdam and one time in [TS]

01:07:32   three days and I challenge anybody to do [TS]

01:07:35   that they always in your father's voice [TS]

01:07:37   because it but one day i will when I'm [TS]

01:07:40   when I'm 87 and i'm sitting in a chair [TS]

01:07:42   my own time I met track for the kids [TS]

01:07:46   will be like they're not gonna pop a [TS]

01:07:48   curve in your hooptie but so I i get [TS]

01:07:50   picked up and this is one of those [TS]

01:07:52   things if you've ever stood out on the [TS]

01:07:53   side of the road hitchhiking i'm [TS]

01:07:55   particularly like if you stood outside [TS]

01:07:57   of the road for a long time with your [TS]

01:07:58   thumb out and cars just going by and [TS]

01:08:00   nobody's picking up your mind starts to [TS]

01:08:02   daydream if you are a person like me and [TS]

01:08:04   you start to imagine that the next car [TS]

01:08:07   over the hill is going to be a red [TS]

01:08:09   Jaguar driven by a woman in her mid [TS]

01:08:13   forties or three to take with me boy [TS]

01:08:16   there's two versions of the story either [TS]

01:08:18   it's a if there's a red Jaguar driven by [TS]

01:08:20   a woman in her mid forties who is who [TS]

01:08:22   has just left her husband and she's [TS]

01:08:25   gonna know i was looking to even the [TS]

01:08:27   score she could get horrible at this [TS]

01:08:29   point I'm standing out with my thumb out [TS]

01:08:30   and I'm like this is my this is my [TS]

01:08:32   fantasy [TS]

01:08:32   either it's this woman she's she's in [TS]

01:08:35   this red Jaguar convertible remember [TS]

01:08:37   today's gonna be she's gotta pull over [TS]

01:08:38   and and I'm gonna get in there I'm gonna [TS]

01:08:41   throw my bag in the back and I'm gonna [TS]

01:08:42   go where we going [TS]

01:08:43   that's version one version 2 is band [TS]

01:08:46   above ground [TS]

01:08:48   alright three girls in mini skirts three [TS]

01:08:51   girls in mini skirts and a full second [TS]

01:08:53   bus that was I was thinking of [TS]

01:08:55   eliminator [TS]

01:08:56   alright knowing it in a in a 32 Ford [TS]

01:09:00   coupe yeah I can't even tell you how [TS]

01:09:02   down out of the tree are between Catalan [TS]

01:09:06   between Catwoman and ZZ Top my sexual [TS]

01:09:08   cosmology is so permanently fucked up [TS]

01:09:11   the sharp dressed man which is great [TS]

01:09:13   song and I know you're a fan you you [TS]

01:09:15   want you will show you want to show [TS]

01:09:16   talking about the top on the public [TS]

01:09:18   radio right showing my feeling is that [TS]

01:09:20   that ZZ Top's eliminator like although [TS]

01:09:22   ZZ top fans are all like oh no thats all [TS]

01:09:25   tres hombres like back when they were [TS]

01:09:27   wearing dirty blue jean more and more [TS]

01:09:30   it's no sugar drums etops eliminator [TS]

01:09:32   where it is all done to drum machines [TS]

01:09:34   with samplers and keyboards is still [TS]

01:09:37   such an amazing album and if you hate it [TS]

01:09:40   because it's because of the eighties [TS]

01:09:41   production and you're a fool and you are [TS]

01:09:43   depriving yourself of a great great [TS]

01:09:46   guitar playing and great songwriting is [TS]

01:09:48   true you know you got me on that I was [TS]

01:09:49   gonna ask you about steelers we like [TS]

01:09:51   that he Rafferty record he recommended a [TS]

01:09:53   pretty good stuff right it's really [TS]

01:09:54   great and he doesn't he doesn't so [TS]

01:09:57   boring but but i'm with you i'm totally [TS]

01:09:59   with you and we can throw out the baby [TS]

01:10:00   with the bath and with my handwriting's [TS]

01:10:02   options i want to come back to missing [TS]

01:10:03   persons to as your as you were saying [TS]

01:10:05   about those music videos i did not [TS]

01:10:07   realize that I had any interest in a [TS]

01:10:10   girl in pink pumps with frilly ankle [TS]

01:10:14   socks my god me and I there in a [TS]

01:10:17   miniskirt i did not realize they had any [TS]

01:10:19   interest in a girl like kandi dance when [TS]

01:10:22   they stand still [TS]

01:10:23   yeah until until she climbs out of that [TS]

01:10:26   32 Ford and then I was like well wait a [TS]

01:10:29   minute is there another kind of girl [TS]

01:10:31   God please throw me the keys but know [TS]

01:10:34   that my version of getting picked [TS]

01:10:35   because I those girls are going to pick [TS]

01:10:37   me up station so number one is like a [TS]

01:10:38   slightly older christie brinkley with a [TS]

01:10:40   sense of humor [TS]

01:10:41   exactly ok got a second one the second [TS]

01:10:43   one is a Volkswagen bus with three [TS]

01:10:45   hippie girls but not hippie girls with [TS]

01:10:47   like nose rings and dreadlocks not like [TS]

01:10:49   Portland not grossly great thanks i'm [TS]

01:10:53   talking about kind of hippie Punk's yeah [TS]

01:10:54   and this was in an era before people had [TS]

01:10:57   tattoos so I didn't have to ask the [TS]

01:11:00   question tattoos or no tattoos [TS]

01:11:02   they were just gonna be three girls in a [TS]

01:11:03   Volkswagen bus who had decided that they [TS]

01:11:05   were going to drive across America and [TS]

01:11:07   and they pull over and pick me up to [TS]

01:11:09   those were the two fantasies but so i'm [TS]

01:11:12   standing outside of San Francisco I've [TS]

01:11:13   got my thumb out i'm in marin county and [TS]

01:11:16   I'm trying to get up to the northwest [TS]

01:11:18   have am standing outside road cars go by [TS]

01:11:22   and I'm fantasizing about who's gonna [TS]

01:11:24   pick me up and over pulls a black [TS]

01:11:28   volkswagen jetta and the door opens and [TS]

01:11:32   it is a girl my age which was remarkable [TS]

01:11:37   in and of itself [TS]

01:11:38   she was a zaftig girl you mean having [TS]

01:11:43   Jewish she was both well I wouldn't seem [TS]

01:11:47   happy but she's confident to choose [TS]

01:11:49   full-figured girl she was she was dark [TS]

01:11:53   Jewish family and she was new wave she [TS]

01:11:59   was like one of those girls in those [TS]

01:12:01   Hernandez brothers comics you know what [TS]

01:12:05   I'm talking about [TS]

01:12:05   that's definitely moving there she had [TS]

01:12:08   some stuff on the rearview mirror she [TS]

01:12:09   had an extra ear ring or two and the two [TS]

01:12:14   of us drove from San Francisco all the [TS]

01:12:17   way up to Olympia Washington together [TS]

01:12:20   and she played Berlin the healthy at the [TS]

01:12:27   time [TS]

01:12:28   new berlin album the one that came out [TS]

01:12:30   in 1988 or whatever album that was and I [TS]

01:12:34   got into that car pretty convinced that [TS]

01:12:36   i had no interest in Berlin or missing [TS]

01:12:38   persons and she played Berlin [TS]

01:12:41   missing-persons basically the entire way [TS]

01:12:43   and it was oh a deeply shaping [TS]

01:12:50   experience for me so that the music of [TS]

01:12:52   Berlin and missing persons now we'll [TS]

01:12:55   send me into a reverie where I float and [TS]

01:12:59   I floated on this cloudy chance you're [TS]

01:13:02   transported on a pilot Bozzio I'm [TS]

01:13:05   transported a in a in a on a cloud [TS]

01:13:08   shaped like it like a black jetta it [TS]

01:13:12   just floats me up the Pacific coast [TS]

01:13:14   I i will not hear a bad word spoken [TS]

01:13:17   about either of those males I used to [TS]

01:13:20   talk about the time I met terrible Terry [TS]

01:13:21   Bozzio you mean that the singer [TS]

01:13:24   yeah now what era was like 10 years ago [TS]

01:13:30   nice i was i was a the off-ramp know I [TS]

01:13:35   was riding my bike down the street and [TS]

01:13:40   only and nobody walks in Seattle and I'm [TS]

01:13:49   driving through pioneer square and i'm [TS]

01:13:55   driving past this club that doesn't [TS]

01:13:57   exist anymore i was i have that I just [TS]

01:14:00   keep imagining a 40 year old woman in a [TS]

01:14:02   sticky always know I'm talk about Dale [TS]

01:14:05   Bozzio not tarry was her story was her [TS]

01:14:07   husband was the drummer friend and so [TS]

01:14:11   I'm driving I'm driving ride my bike and [TS]

01:14:13   I and there's this tiny tiny tiny little [TS]

01:14:15   girl with blue like a big shocker blue [TS]

01:14:19   hair standing out in front of this club [TS]

01:14:22   that no longer exists and as I ride my [TS]

01:14:25   bike I looked down and she looks up and [TS]

01:14:28   I I don't know where it came from i [TS]

01:14:30   didn't I don't know how I remember her [TS]

01:14:32   name but I was like blue its debts Dale [TS]

01:14:35   Bozzio and i think i actually pronounce [TS]

01:14:37   it Bozzio and I might have even said [TS]

01:14:39   Bozzio but I was like it's still Bozzio [TS]

01:14:42   and she goes yeah [TS]

01:14:44   oh my god i know you and i screeched my [TS]

01:14:50   bike to a halt to jump off and I'm like [TS]

01:14:51   hi my name is john you know when she's [TS]

01:14:53   standing there with like a roadie and [TS]

01:14:55   her bass player at the stage door of [TS]

01:14:57   this club and I was like oh my god I I [TS]

01:15:00   am uh i'm actually a massive fan I know [TS]

01:15:02   that that sounds strange but but i [TS]

01:15:06   actually am and she was like oh you come [TS]

01:15:07   into the shower tonight to get she's [TS]

01:15:11   edith bunker because she's absolutely [TS]

01:15:13   because she'd Roxie she's so East Coast [TS]

01:15:16   are you coming to the show tonight let [TS]

01:15:22   me know well fast diet [TS]

01:15:25   the way our and right and i said i [TS]

01:15:33   didn't know that you were playing a show [TS]

01:15:34   tonight and she was like oh yeah we'll [TS]

01:15:37   play the top 20 do it Tommy t4 i'm [TS]

01:15:42   fucked definitely coming to the show [TS]

01:15:44   tonight and she was like I'll put you on [TS]

01:15:45   the list [TS]

01:15:46   fuck you are you serious she puts me on [TS]

01:15:49   you guys Kampai up audio and so I come [TS]

01:15:52   back to chisel she's actually five feet [TS]

01:15:54   34 feet tall she's like four foot three [TS]

01:15:56   i never i would guess she statuesque no [TS]

01:15:59   no she looked exactly the same as she [TS]

01:16:01   did in her MTV days I mean she was [TS]

01:16:02   wearing last pancake makeup she had jet [TS]

01:16:05   all kinds of crazy makeup 150 was just [TS]

01:16:07   like I'm crazy and i put on my own [TS]

01:16:10   makeup but like come to the show and [TS]

01:16:13   first of all tommy tutone is opening and [TS]

01:16:16   he plays whoo i think i'm going to get [TS]

01:16:20   idea what you play [TS]

01:16:21   I did you not no no this isn't that they [TS]

01:16:24   played twice he played for an hour and [TS]

01:16:27   45 as the hope I know that and as I and [TS]

01:16:31   they're like 40 people in this club that [TS]

01:16:33   could make it seats 700 people and he [TS]

01:16:37   played he played except for 5309 or [TS]

01:16:40   whatever but then he played he played [TS]

01:16:43   8675309 revisited which was his new from [TS]

01:16:52   his latest album his new version of the [TS]

01:16:55   of the song that made him great you know [TS]

01:16:58   it mp3 town where it was like where he [TS]

01:17:01   had basically rewrote the tune [TS]

01:17:03   I mean he is set work was an example of [TS]

01:17:05   how not to do the casino circuit right [TS]

01:17:08   and then she comes out on stage with the [TS]

01:17:10   missing persons who were five guys in [TS]

01:17:13   their twenties who who all looked like [TS]

01:17:16   they had auditioned for a marilyn [TS]

01:17:20   manson's band and you know dad didn't [TS]

01:17:22   have an interesting enough serial killer [TS]

01:17:23   named [TS]

01:17:26   it was like it was like eyeliner there [TS]

01:17:31   was so much eyeliner in so many like [TS]

01:17:32   weird piercings and it you know and the [TS]

01:17:35   guitar players name was something like a [TS]

01:17:38   like Rosalind geen like what do what I [TS]

01:17:43   don't get it [TS]

01:17:44   I'm gonna get we do anyway like all [TS]

01:17:47   these 20-year olds and then she comes [TS]

01:17:49   out on stage and I was such a tragedy [TS]

01:17:52   she was so on cocaine man that kinda [TS]

01:17:58   doubt i'm so at the time what was I was [TS]

01:18:00   33 she she couldn't have been much more [TS]

01:18:06   than 48 let's say still a very handsome [TS]

01:18:11   woman although a little bit of little [TS]

01:18:14   bit road warren that's saying but she [TS]

01:18:17   comes on stage and when I talked to her [TS]

01:18:18   she was outside the stage door for 10 [TS]

01:18:21   minutes or whatever she was a very [TS]

01:18:23   reasonable normal-seeming rock-and-roll [TS]

01:18:26   person but she was onstage and she's so [TS]

01:18:29   full of cocaine that she cannot focus [TS]

01:18:32   and she's walking around she's adjusting [TS]

01:18:35   people's amps she's trying to talk to [TS]

01:18:38   the guitar player while he's playing a [TS]

01:18:40   song oh god she's yelling at the [TS]

01:18:42   soundman but she's not yelling into her [TS]

01:18:45   microphone she forgets that there's a [TS]

01:18:47   microphone there and she's standing the [TS]

01:18:49   band is like cranking away on a tune and [TS]

01:18:52   she's like I don't have had to the [TS]

01:18:54   soundman she'd sing a verse and then and [TS]

01:18:57   then forget to go to the chorus she's [TS]

01:18:59   wandering around the stage like a bag [TS]

01:19:01   lady and it was so depressing I didn't [TS]

01:19:06   even stay to see them play destination [TS]

01:19:07   unknown [TS]

01:19:08   I was like this is terrible I can't I [TS]

01:19:11   can't I I can't watch this it's a it's [TS]

01:19:14   it's it's all coming apart [TS]

01:19:16   how'd you do you know how as you [TS]

01:19:17   imagined it going can I ask let me have [TS]

01:19:19   a pretty good idea [TS]

01:19:20   this is the problem with being with [TS]

01:19:23   getting old is that tail tail Bozzio I'm [TS]

01:19:28   gonna settle on Bosnia Dale Bozzio and [TS]

01:19:32   who was the girl that wore electrical [TS]

01:19:36   tape on her nipples I window Williams [TS]

01:19:39   wendy williams these these women had a [TS]

01:19:45   had a profound effect on my burgeoning [TS]

01:19:48   early teen every comfortable with their [TS]

01:19:51   bosoms sexuality they're comfortable [TS]

01:19:53   with their bosoms they were some of the [TS]

01:19:54   first pose I'd seen who I certainly see [TS]

01:19:57   a lot of ladies with bosoms out the [TS]

01:19:59   chainsaw you didn't this is back at this [TS]

01:20:01   was back before Madonna made it even [TS]

01:20:02   popular to wear shirts that expose your [TS]

01:20:06   belly button you know you have to [TS]

01:20:07   remember how much different times [TS]

01:20:09   different conservative it was who [TS]

01:20:10   certainly these were some of the first [TS]

01:20:12   boobs i saw in motion [TS]

01:20:14   you never forget that playboy boobs they [TS]

01:20:17   might not make it very quiet make a [TS]

01:20:19   little noise [TS]

01:20:20   yeah looks sort of flaps flaps and I'm [TS]

01:20:23   sorry John it's brutal but in any case I [TS]

01:20:25   I was hoping that i was going to be a [TS]

01:20:28   teenager again and that she was going to [TS]

01:20:30   be a young woman in her twenties and [TS]

01:20:32   that i could redo my whole life and that [TS]

01:20:35   she would call me under the tour bus and [TS]

01:20:36   off we would go and it would be 1983 [TS]

01:20:38   again and I guy would put a lot of gel [TS]

01:20:41   in my hair [TS]

01:20:42   I wouldn't have had all those [TS]

01:20:43   experiences in college I wish I could [TS]

01:20:45   forget and instead it was just that she [TS]

01:20:48   was on cocaine and I was in my thirties [TS]

01:20:51   riding a bike and that oh my god i'm [TS]

01:20:55   looking on the internet this is terrible [TS]

01:20:57   to do especially when you're doing a [TS]

01:20:59   podcast but if there's a there's a a a [TS]

01:21:01   picture of Dale Bozzio it's a mugshot [TS]

01:21:04   know where she was put in jail for her [TS]

01:21:10   animal cruelty conviction [TS]

01:21:12   Oh dear me as a parent is the big braids [TS]

01:21:14   13 animal cruelty charges stemmed from [TS]

01:21:17   Bozzio failed attempt to save farrell [TS]

01:21:20   and sick cats from the New Hampshire [TS]

01:21:22   woods to cats were found dead and 12 [TS]

01:21:25   were put down following an under [TS]

01:21:26   determinable period of neglect that came [TS]

01:21:29   to a head while Bozzio toward last fall [TS]

01:21:31   that that sounds like scrapbooking [TS]

01:21:33   oh my god she's good she's a cat lady [TS]

01:21:37   and [TS]

01:21:38   out here new hampshire you know people [TS]

01:21:42   think of people out west think of New [TS]

01:21:43   Hampshire as kind of like an idyllic a [TS]

01:21:46   place where bob newhart owns a hotel and [TS]

01:21:51   there are a lot of picket fences and it [TS]

01:21:53   said there's a library with that as a [TS]

01:21:55   bell tower maybe in the town and the the [TS]

01:21:59   biggest problem they have is maybe that [TS]

01:22:01   there's still a Soviet spy who's waiting [TS]

01:22:04   to be activated as a Manchurian [TS]

01:22:06   Candidate kind of situation but in fact [TS]

01:22:08   most of New Hampshire people have [TS]

01:22:11   Corvettes up on blocks in front of their [TS]

01:22:15   trailer homes [TS]

01:22:16   it is the new england is some of the [TS]

01:22:18   craziest like meby weird america is that [TS]

01:22:24   right possibly find yeah it really is [TS]

01:22:27   it's strange because coming from the [TS]

01:22:29   coming from the west coast when i first [TS]

01:22:31   went to New England I really expected [TS]

01:22:33   that the biggest problem i would have [TS]

01:22:35   was just dealing with headless horseman [TS]

01:22:36   you know I was not inconsiderable [TS]

01:22:40   problem i assumed they were Headless [TS]

01:22:41   Horseman a typical Harvey are prepared [TS]

01:22:43   for that I was prepared for Headless [TS]

01:22:45   Horseman I knew not to walk out any [TS]

01:22:46   country lanes in the middle of the night [TS]

01:22:48   although I I did do that and I was [TS]

01:22:50   accosted by a horseman but I was not [TS]

01:22:53   prepared for the fact that there were [TS]

01:22:55   just going to be like weird trashy drug [TS]

01:22:59   dealer e people wandering around towns [TS]

01:23:02   where the shops were all boarded up and [TS]

01:23:05   and just what like a it just felt like [TS]

01:23:09   it felt like some of those towns in [TS]

01:23:11   southern Arizona had been relocated to a [TS]

01:23:14   kind of woodsy colonial looking place [TS]

01:23:17   really it's a very strange part of the [TS]

01:23:20   world to England I thought was kind of [TS]

01:23:23   like a new england version of like Utah [TS]

01:23:25   are people who wrecked astern gun owners [TS]

01:23:27   in New Hampshire really am a thing much [TS]

01:23:31   more you know Vermont is the place where [TS]

01:23:33   they are all like [TS]

01:23:36   kind of Bellingham me that's gonna say [TS]

01:23:38   yeah and then New Hampshire is much more [TS]

01:23:40   sort of live free or die [TS]

01:23:42   that's their motto live free or die they [TS]

01:23:45   would be granted face guy break the big [TS]

01:23:48   granite faced guy broke i think so yeah [TS]

01:23:51   I think it's it was like I think it's on [TS]

01:23:52   the quarter [TS]

01:23:53   I mean not the broken one the one that [TS]

01:23:54   was a functional yeah you know about [TS]

01:23:56   this right that the the grand old [TS]

01:23:58   granite New Hampshire granite face the [TS]

01:24:00   grand old granite New Hampshire face oh [TS]

01:24:02   I think just a sign them recently [TS]

01:24:05   it's a it's like it's like a natural [TS]

01:24:07   bridge or something it's a old man of [TS]

01:24:10   the mountain old man of the mountain and [TS]

01:24:13   he broke his face broke [TS]

01:24:14   well I'm just saying you know life is [TS]

01:24:15   complicated and if you know if there [TS]

01:24:18   were oh my goodness freezing and thawing [TS]

01:24:21   open fissures in the old man's forehead [TS]

01:24:23   i love Philip Larkin [TS]

01:24:24   by the 1920s the crack was wide enough [TS]

01:24:27   to be mended with chains wrong who [TS]

01:24:29   nevertheless formation collapse to the [TS]

01:24:31   ground between midnight and 2am Mather [TS]

01:24:34   2003 just about when the math problems [TS]

01:24:36   started [TS]

01:24:37   oh my goodness that is jame didn't have [TS]

01:24:41   learned on a quarter [TS]

01:24:42   well it's one of those things where in [TS]

01:24:44   the state of Alaska there are probably [TS]

01:24:49   15,000 rock formations that that [TS]

01:24:53   actually look like a man that you can [TS]

01:24:55   identify like but actually look like [TS]

01:24:57   Herbert Hoover or alan alda from [TS]

01:25:00   interstate like potato chips [TS]

01:25:02   there are so many rock formations in [TS]

01:25:04   Alaska that that if you wanted to you [TS]

01:25:08   could you could you could put them on a [TS]

01:25:10   quarter but in New Hampshire I [TS]

01:25:12   understand that they're like weird [TS]

01:25:14   little man on a mountain is something [TS]

01:25:17   that they're real proud about nice gone [TS]

01:25:19   they don't have picture the picture [TS]

01:25:20   sorry [TS]

01:25:21   whistle picture which shows through an [TS]

01:25:24   overlay where the old man would be worse [TS]

01:25:26   still there and the mountain a composite [TS]

01:25:29   image of the old man created from images [TS]

01:25:31   taken before and after the collapse [TS]

01:25:34   yeah I we actually had one of those in [TS]

01:25:36   our backyard in Alaska was 4,000 feet [TS]

01:25:38   taller than that one though really like [TS]

01:25:40   it wasn't who was at Hoover who you have [TS]

01:25:42   nobody cared about it a shot [TS]

01:25:44   no no the one that the one that was in [TS]

01:25:46   my backyard actually kinda look like it [TS]

01:25:47   has [TS]

01:25:54   [Music] [TS]