Roderick on the Line

Ep. 39: "Darth of Options"

 

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  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John [TS]

  hi marilyn is going it's going good how [TS]

  are you going I'm pretty I'm pretty good [TS]

  i have to sound a little hoarse [TS]

  oh well don't sound a little lady horse [TS]

  boo a little pony throat you don't you [TS]

  don't sound good you sound horse and a [TS]

  little horse I think have you been what [TS]

  have you been doing been eating cats [TS]

  just the dead ones see that will make [TS]

  your horse [TS]

  um I was out kind of late last night no [TS]

  you were party and I know how many party [TS]

  how many subway sandwiches did you have [TS]

  you'll have to ask that already 2am [TS]

  subway so no now I had a steak like a [TS]

  gentleman [TS]

  oh that's nice late staker at least it [TS]

  was a medium medium times take it was [TS]

  this pretty good pretty good [TS]

  yeah it's funny you um actually talk [TS]

  about the internet you post something on [TS]

  the internet not too long ago the house [TS]

  inspired a whole new revolution in [TS]

  people's minds yeah now people dressing [TS]

  up like steaks steaks and her what did I [TS]

  say on the internet that anybody cared [TS]

  about [TS]

  well it was in a very short format you [TS]

  recently said something along the lines [TS]

  of my health I catch my keyboard [TS]

  he said something along the lines of the [TS]

  the big difference in quality is not [TS]

  between a cheat meal and a costly meal [TS]

  is a difference in quality between a [TS]

  good fifteen dollar meal and a bad $15 [TS]

  meal that's right yeah I believe that [TS]

  what would I hope I hope it isn't [TS]

  selling I'm pandering to say this I [TS]

  think there's like maybe 12 wise things [TS]

  in that well it's one of the interesting [TS]

  things about economics right it's the [TS]

  thing that that economics cannot account [TS]

  for is why is this $15 meal in this town [TS]

  the most amazing meal I've ever had and [TS]

  this $15 meal across the street is like [TS]

  it's like eating fresh abortion is it [TS]

  locally sourced how its kind of possible [TS]

  that's from that he remember [TS]

  mother Catherine's uh school for dirty [TS]

  girls fresh every Tuesday well there's a [TS]

  guy in a chef's hat just waiting out [TS]

  back for another cosmic fire that you'll [TS]

  be better now they're the ones better [TS]

  this way [TS]

  that's terrible we just lost the [TS]

  thousand followers sorry domine domine [TS]

  domine we I i have well I i think that [TS]

  was I think you know but portion talk [TS]

  aside and that riders could be a [TS]

  different show [TS]

  I don't think we should get ahead of [TS]

  ourselves we are i think that was very [TS]

  smart and there's two parts in [TS]

  particular that I think very smart first [TS]

  of all you did something probably a [TS]

  Greek name for eating but you took a [TS]

  u-turn it i turned it i just did I put a [TS]

  little twist in it [TS]

  yeah yeah that there's a protected [TS]

  portion is that what that's called a [TS]

  torque what do they call that we had the [TS]

  twisty twisty us who i was reading about [TS]

  the World's Strongest Man this week and [TS]

  they say that there's a big difference [TS]

  you know you could be a little bit [TS]

  strong and be really strong but there's [TS]

  some kind of that someone going to some [TS]

  scientific jargon for a minute so [TS]

  forgive me [TS]

  alright there's some kind of scientific [TS]

  excitability and your muscle parts that [TS]

  allows them to quickly like like AG like [TS]

  a great [TS]

  like what like a bunch of Panzers you [TS]

  get them all going the same direction at [TS]

  the same time and you can do like this [TS]

  guy does and lift an SUV seven times [TS]

  he's extraordinary the first time you [TS]

  ever you know what I bet you a whole [TS]

  bunch of pansies all going in the same [TS]

  direction could do better than just lift [TS]

  an SUV a couple of times 7 times John [TS]

  seven still I think Panzers up with the [TS]

  with the applying the right amount of [TS]

  force to a group of Panzers this seems [TS]

  if you'll forgive my saying a little [TS]

  fast I'll i think if you get 7 pans in [TS]

  all fairness you should have seven super [TS]

  strong guys I'm mm I don't know I'm you [TS]

  know it's your show [TS]

  I think about being the strongest man in [TS]

  the world is it something that's always [TS]

  you know you can never rest [TS]

  you know what I mean like you can't be [TS]

  the strongest man in the world for 15 [TS]

  years there's no overtimes exactly [TS]

  people are always taking and picking a [TS]

  fight they like pick up my SUV and he's [TS]

  like can I just enjoy a meal with my [TS]

  family [TS]

  that's right I'm here I'm here I'm [TS]

  eating here I came out wrong man bought [TS]

  out by lift up the fucking part of [TS]

  abortions i get i see it being much more [TS]

  difficult to navigate the net if it was [TS]

  just drunk guys in bars that went to [TS]

  fight you you can handle it [TS]

  in this case it's like it is a suburban [TS]

  dad [TS]

  he's got like a two-year-old Vanek not [TS]

  even advantage and maybe he's got a [TS]

  dodger for their scarves got an era [TS]

  start you live in a living aerostar I [TS]

  look than aerostar for a while there to [TS]

  start the proprietary electronic service [TS]

  for the fan aerostar is a van I think [TS]

  there might be a proprietary electronic [TS]

  service also called aerostar it it has [TS]

  two great it has two great words within [TS]

  it [TS]

  arrow meaning air and star meaning star [TS]

  I learned a great thing yesterday star [TS]

  is that it's not super good i was [TS]

  reading about the zenith Space Command [TS]

  that the first i was reading the sign [TS]

  every gadget blog site you know Space [TS]

  Command work there [TS]

  the enemies of GI Joe and his friends [TS]

  that's right i think Josh design them [TS]

  see that Xena space they're based in [TS]

  Brooklyn [TS]

  oh don't know diaper mhm but it's [TS]

  actually bushwick they stay just it's [TS]

  just look at the 1i this little color [TS]

  east williamsburg haha oh that's cool [TS]

  just wasn't Xena Space Command i have to [TS]

  agree this was the first guy kind of [TS]

  popular consumer of control [TS]

  oh and i read it it made a big huge loud [TS]

  click when you touched it and all [TS]

  interview was a go up in the channels at [TS]

  no other control anyway when you were [TS]

  like us and you had four channels that's [TS]

  not so big a deal [TS]

  ok actually just 11 13 4 7 11 13 and [TS]

  change and stick so I could still [TS]

  observe my mother's demand that I not [TS]

  sit in front of the idiot box [TS]

  uh-huh so I be just slightly away from [TS]

  the idiot box and I have the [TS]

  head-turning stick like this Kelly got a [TS]

  helper monkey that was expressed as a [TS]

  lot click I remember these when you [TS]

  people had these old people hang on to [TS]

  these TVs from the giant console TVs you [TS]

  don't have a record player in it and [TS]

  stuff [TS]

  sure a record player on one side and [TS]

  then I'll bar maybe a wet bar the shaped [TS]

  like a globe on the other side minstrel [TS]

  show it was amazing and so yeah I think [TS]

  the big clique is what you hear [TS]

  but then there's like an I don't say [TS]

  ultrasonic i'm not a scientist but then [TS]

  there's like a very a pitch that the TV [TS]

  picks up is pretty primitive but not [TS]

  like they said in the stupid article [TS]

  like how great [TS]

  that for a name that you just don't hear [TS]

  names like Xena Space Command anymore [TS]

  enough space command [TS]

  yeah pretty good name [TS]

  I like it a lot I got away from muscles [TS]

  and don't give me one good reason why I [TS]

  shouldn't buy a white Trans Am that too [TS]

  was the one that you were is it really [TS]

  white it looks like it's very like a [TS]

  light silver is that really white [TS]

  I think it's a white Trans Am Wow and [TS]

  does it come with the very front plate [TS]

  bone you think that might be the [TS]

  proprietary I think the vanity plate [TS]

  like it the guys gonna keep the vanity [TS]

  or or maybe that's maybe just maybe [TS]

  that's just something he slapped on [TS]

  there because of that weird craigslist [TS]

  thing where people are afraid people [TS]

  that let if you see their license plate [TS]

  you're going to steal their identity [TS]

  have you noticed this on craigslist not [TS]

  noticing it right this second because he [TS]

  looks like he's photoshop to gray out [TS]

  his electric meter yeah people people [TS]

  did you know that it's got a cap on it [TS]

  now people fog out the weirdest stuff on [TS]

  craigslist look up somebody's gonna [TS]

  steal my identity they can see like my [TS]

  electric meter remember when that [TS]

  started it was a very famous thing that [TS]

  happened in the early days of ebay that [TS]

  was one of the first thing I hope the [TS]

  guy was selling a soul silver electrode [TS]

  electronics and he kept taking pictures [TS]

  of it and only later did people realize [TS]

  that he could see his direction in the [TS]

  yeah by that i mean there's so there's [TS]

  only so much you can subscribe to the [TS]

  parallax effect was a very very heavy [TS]

  man i don't know if it is the concave [TS]

  nature of a pot that he he was good and [TS]

  obvious that he was it was really just [TS]

  altogether [TS]

  yeah okay yes I should've read further [TS]

  on this John sent me something earlier [TS]

  today [TS]

  it sounds to me like you I don't see why [TS]

  don't we might steal it out from under [TS]

  you [TS]

  so we have I too many details right but [TS]

  let's let's just say that somewhere out [TS]

  there maybe and apparently white Burt [TS]

  Reynolds looking Trans Am 1977 pontiac [TS]

  trans am and it's got a rebuilt 400 [TS]

  motor senior it make it very searchable [TS]

  national silver silver of firebird on [TS]

  the outlook so heavy [TS]

  it's very happy yeah we're on ya [TS]

  catalina and it was heavy yeah yeah [TS]

  what year oh my gosh pontiac catalina I [TS]

  what we have is really ugly green color [TS]

  i could probably find it was really [TS]

  going on and i'm guessing what you're [TS]

  right i found out i was writing [TS]

  something about my late father and X and [TS]

  a nice memory I have of being in that [TS]

  car and so we don't actually do some [TS]

  research i could probably get up in [TS]

  other sites we can find out all kinds of [TS]

  stuff for the very like my my cousin [TS]

  vinny stuff about exactly what was [TS]

  available on certain cars [TS]

  oh because I got it this guy's a [TS]

  scoundrel like you could find out this [TS]

  is actually his his electric meter now [TS]

  this seems that seems right [TS]

  this car seems right i mean that [TS]

  everybody's long you trust people in [TS]

  everett in general ever it is not a [TS]

  place you can trust people [TS]

  everett washington is is the home of [TS]

  what we used to be the home of the USS [TS]

  Abraham Lincoln and all of its crew who [TS]

  I think the Lincoln has rotated out and [TS]

  now they have like a the US says I don't [TS]

  know maybe the new minutes is up there [TS]

  but whatever reason it's it's a navy [TS]

  town it's full of sailors and i'm [TS]

  guessing that is who owns this white 77 [TS]

  Trans Am [TS]

  yeah but the lessons but this bone but [TS]

  what do you think way to get rejected [TS]

  when he was there at the store and [TS]

  looking at license plates [TS]

  what do you have there once he's looked [TS]

  at and a little pussy or there anything [TS]

  looked at every point now I don't know [TS]

  if I can live up to you know rabbi jack [TS]

  or something you know I bet you he went [TS]

  in there looking for bone me and he [TS]

  found bone yeah I don't think he had a [TS]

  list i think he had he was like bone [TS]

  isn't yet is a suggestion [TS]

  well it's not the thing is it's not a [TS]

  real license plate it just says USA on [TS]

  the top and then bone so it's like a [TS]

  front plate in a state where you're not [TS]

  required to have plates on the front [TS]

  that's where i would always get in ohio [TS]

  you didn't have to have that either [TS]

  yeah i think i think this is the type of [TS]

  thing where if you are if you're a [TS]

  runaway and you are sitting on your [TS]

  suitcase in front of a motel in the [TS]

  morning [TS]

  uh-huh you can't you is you can't afford [TS]

  bus fare and there's a and there's a [TS]

  white Trans Am or so depressed [TS]

  and that's the vanity plates all do ya [TS]

  has a runaway does this look like an [TS]

  opportunity to you or does this look [TS]

  like a potential three pairs on which [TS]

  thin lizzy song is playing with the boys [TS]

  are back in town i'm going to think [TS]

  twice and maybe stay on the suitcase [TS]

  again whiskey in the jar i might have [TS]

  been [TS]

  wow yeah you know what you just you just [TS]

  convinced it pretty well [TS]

  well i got the top of my head but like I [TS]

  really like that version of whiskey in [TS]

  the jar is very creative i mean if i [TS]

  mean i guess some people are familiar [TS]

  with metallica version via thin lizzy [TS]

  but i was also familiar with it's an old [TS]

  folk song it's a widely heavily covered [TS]

  you know folk song with women [TS]

  I'm sorry please go ahead i'm looking [TS]

  more closely at this and I can I I have [TS]

  so much to say about this and I'm [TS]

  holding it back to you if you look in at [TS]

  the cockpit photograph how many pink [TS]

  christmas tree r fresheners does he have [TS]

  hanging from his stereo knob can you [TS]

  count them all I didn't call you have to [TS]

  look at the other ones yet haha she [TS]

  shows you [TS]

  oh he's got little trees how many trees [TS]

  it's hard to tell on this monitor i see [TS]

  at least two now I'm seeing more i'm [TS]

  seeing three possibly four now if you [TS]

  need if you need three possibly four [TS]

  pink right season one you mean he's got [TS]

  four air fresheners in his car and [TS]

  always got some some one of his [TS]

  colleagues that some japanese anal beads [TS]

  hanging precariously mukhang show [TS]

  yeah he does he has anal beads hanging [TS]

  from his rearview mirror but you know [TS]

  you have to expect with the light with [TS]

  the vanity plate bone is going to be [TS]

  your operator does what it says on the [TS]

  tin [TS]

  it's the Christmas tree air fresheners [TS]

  that are freaking me out because I don't [TS]

  know what flavor pink is but i'm [TS]

  guessing it's like venir hasta and I [TS]

  think it's barry i was very into the [TS]

  green was down in this guy's defense and [TS]

  I haven't met this guy at all i don't [TS]

  have been everything I must tell you [TS]

  that in my and my in 1970 volkswagen bus [TS]

  i would accumulate those that you do [TS]

  like some people have garters or or [TS]

  restraining orders and i would let my [TS]

  green trees [TS]

  did you get it did you also hang the [TS]

  tassel from your cap at graduation human [TS]

  teen I think I [TS]

  I think you live down 85 exactly green [TS]

  tassel oh my god green and yellow nobody [TS]

  look good in our colors it tests your [TS]

  high school colors red green and yellow [TS]

  and I never envied green and yellow you [TS]

  know what we have so much to talk about [TS]

  in this ad and I i we obviously we have [TS]

  a lot of things to cover here as well so [TS]

  it is an automatic the right that's [TS]

  sweet [TS]

  well that era they they stop putting [TS]

  manual transmissions and continued at us [TS]

  to stick to like the ladies off the side [TS]

  of the but the problem is can you should [TS]

  you legitimately put a child safety seat [TS]

  in a Trans Am like this i think I'd [TS]

  jected like a bad kidney and and it's [TS]

  not like your dad [TS]

  yeah I'm afraid it's because the Arizona [TS]

  but raising arizona type of situation [TS]

  where i would just be out of something [TS]

  bad would happen did you just call me [TS]

  damn it all the time actually literally [TS]

  cutting that out the way 1337 I got that [TS]

  a couple of this out [TS]

  don't talk anymore on ah now i'm gonna [TS]

  leave in fuck you [TS]

  the are the off button okay so okay [TS]

  dance your question there's several [TS]

  things about this that we need to talk [TS]

  about obviously obviously there are no [TS]

  there are no airbags in a car like this [TS]

  they're going up there are no safety [TS]

  features of any kind i think it actually [TS]

  shoots a falling-out you well when you [TS]

  when you get into a crash [TS]

  it's like a cat of nine tail starts [TS]

  poking around inside to get doing good [TS]

  doing good doing around and here's [TS]

  together several things to point out i [TS]

  don't like to bring up a sore memory for [TS]

  you but you remember what happened like [TS]

  that time when you called me damn a few [TS]

  minutes ago [TS]

  as with the bluing problem on your [TS]

  father's gun if I'm right right right i [TS]

  want to point out a few things about [TS]

  this i think the anal beads on the [TS]

  wu-tang clan symbol are not original I [TS]

  think the trees are aftermarket no way [TS]

  did you get that particular shitty [TS]

  eighties cassette deck on this and what [TS]

  is the deal with the prismatic [TS]

  background on the dash control area if [TS]

  you don't know that's just docstoc what [TS]

  I call what they call that in features [TS]

  do you think that is called the metal [TS]

  great finish or metal plated is what [TS]

  they call it i mean obviously it's a [TS]

  sticker but they could cause a pretty [TS]

  badass lookin thicker it is its present [TS]

  have a feeling that everyone to disney [TS]

  properties but it [TS]

  kind of Tomorrowland feeling in the [TS]

  future your car will be shiny inside [TS]

  zenith Space Command yes that's what it [TS]

  says and then that you got what else you [TS]

  got the trees an American car won't [TS]

  smell you got I what else we got here I [TS]

  don't know John I think you should go [TS]

  and tender and offer heavy decocking [TS]

  condom wrappers on the passenger side [TS]

  floor he i think he went out [TS]

  specifically bought a bottle of armor [TS]

  all are maracas this I would slide right [TS]

  off the seats that's just way too shiny [TS]

  for me he has armor all the hell out of [TS]

  this thing that you do when you put when [TS]

  you put your daughter's child seat in [TS]

  the back of this extremely dangerous [TS]

  vehicle [TS]

  yeah i would i would maybe scuff it up a [TS]

  little bit break out break in the seats [TS]

  look I'm saying I mean maybe doing there [TS]

  maybe Denise and paper because every [TS]

  time you hit the highway you gotta spin [TS]

  the tires you gotta kick dirt up you [TS]

  have to there's a lot of responsibility [TS]

  of owning a car like this i think it [TS]

  brings expectations either that or I i [TS]

  found this the the last time I owned a [TS]

  motor vehicle with a very large engine [TS]

  can intimidate one of those engines that [TS]

  sounds intimidating but you don't even [TS]

  have to see the the vehicle you just [TS]

  hear it like little doob doob tube one [TS]

  of those cars but it's a very very [TS]

  satisfying feeling to have a car that [TS]

  makes that sound because when you roll [TS]

  onto someone street if they're expecting [TS]

  you to arrive but they hear that sound [TS]

  before they see you and it's everywhere [TS]

  you go you're just sort of blanketing [TS]

  the world with your like power [TS]

  yeah but in any case I hate you a lot [TS]

  sooner than other people do you know [TS]

  here comes that guy but when I owned [TS]

  that car I realized that I no longer [TS]

  needed to drive fast but in fact the [TS]

  real power move was to drive incredibly [TS]

  slow and everywhere I went I just [TS]

  basically drove that idle speed do but [TS]

  the car with this it just butter along [TS]

  with 15 miles an hour and and everybody [TS]

  else on the road was like too afraid to [TS]

  honk it was a great life and the people [TS]

  at the funny part is it wasn't like you [TS]

  can just gave people like some idiots [TS]

  and bald middle-aged guy starting is [TS]

  Harley [TS]

  it's like in this case you're just [TS]

  plugging along looking at people a [TS]

  little bit too long and they're going [TS]

  could you please drive a little tense up [TS]

  and I would sit way down there by care [TS]

  car seat is so my nose was just on the [TS]

  novel digging to do I look like an R [TS]

  crumb drawing of something big nose [TS]

  picking out the window [TS]

  here's my thing the the first of all a [TS]

  yes you should go and look at this maybe [TS]

  bring a mechanical or someone pretending [TS]

  to bring jason hasn't pretend to be a [TS]

  mechanic see if this guy freaks right [TS]

  and then if you buy this and I think he [TS]

  should he's got an oboe on here it says [TS]

  a it's just as 1600 OBO so you might be [TS]

  able to talk him down interesting trade [TS]

  maybe I'm just saying I think you can [TS]

  bring the product i see what the price [TS]

  was no okay i think you could probably [TS]

  talk about just a little [TS]

  it depends on the condition that net oh [TS]

  and it and then be here's my promise to [TS]

  you if you if you send me proof that you [TS]

  have bought this from him getting slip [TS]

  as they say i would literally I will [TS]

  literally buy you a copy of jail break [TS]

  today on cassette Wow or jailbreak [TS]

  jailbreak right with spanish are pretty [TS]

  sure that is a cassette player you're [TS]

  right [TS]

  what does eighties knobs gonna tell my [TS]

  iron maiden cassettes out of my and my [TS]

  gym bag they're saying you have photo of [TS]

  the melted highway to hell [TS]

  cassette that I found in our garage I [TS]

  don't think so but my friend when I've [TS]

  already said too much [TS]

  ok now i have a friend who's a good [TS]

  friend you know him or you know of him [TS]

  an artist he is making a coffee table [TS]

  book of certain kind of cassette it's [TS]

  going to be very beautiful I've already [TS]

  said you have a certain is that there's [TS]

  somebody right now right racing out to [TS]

  get a tumbler of the of this idea and [TS]

  then I I want you to stop doing that [TS]

  whoever you are [TS]

  huh it's my friends idea sake a [TS]

  cassettes lucky a cassettes think the [TS]

  others are the last thing I'm going to [TS]

  say about this Craigslist ad but he has [TS]

  made the classic error of saying too [TS]

  much to list but he did not put two [TS]

  letter O's in the first two so it so it [TS]

  looks like so much to list made a [TS]

  classic craigslist spelling error which [TS]

  makes me think that I can really trust [TS]

  him [TS]

  I can really try but I'm not only can I [TS]

  trust this guy because he's a real [TS]

  American but i can also like chip him [TS]

  down on the price because he's a dummy [TS]

  we should offer to help with his [TS]

  comments to let you know what this is [TS]

  not a common worrying car this is we put [TS]

  your comment worries behind you get down [TS]

  you put the fucking sit-down you drive [TS]

  like a gentleman you jam out to a little [TS]

  bit of fill in it drive like a gentleman [TS]

  and then perhaps Sally Field is a is [TS]

  standing on the side of the road in a [TS]

  wedding dress she's so it's me she's [TS]

  like Audrey Hepburn or maybe like Diana [TS]

  Rigg where she's all different kinds of [TS]

  pretty [TS]

  yeah you know you mean Sally Field [TS]

  you're selling oh you know she you know [TS]

  who's like you don't really feel young [TS]

  valerie bertinelli young is that right [TS]

  well I always equated the 2i thought [TS]

  they have the same kind of cute as a bug [TS]

  pneus over to another cute as a bug i am [TS]

  yeah I I you know I'm talking about this [TS]

  you're not going to talk about Sally [TS]

  Field i'm stuck at talk about this it's [TS]

  awkward [TS]

  is it all because you're married no no [TS]

  just because you know I'm because you're [TS]

  a feminist ridiculous wonder that's not [TS]

  fun all that's not a dickless wonder i [TS]

  have to admit that I i have been [TS]

  reassessing my feelings about scarlett [TS]

  johansson and it's getting complicated [TS]

  really [TS]

  oh I think she might be pretty [TS]

  attractive she's a very attractive young [TS]

  when she sees kind of the same [TS]

  attractive but like you know even if you [TS]

  watch her when she was like practically [TS]

  a kid in that you know don't want [TS]

  anybody me [TS]

  yeah sure anyway I stand corrected I'm [TS]

  gonna have to buy you a different [TS]

  thought whiskey in the jar wouldn't [TS]

  listen would you would you in order to [TS]

  make good on my error and I promise I'm [TS]

  gonna send you if i can find it i will [TS]

  send you jailbreak on his cassette and I [TS]

  also send you some like old greatest [TS]

  hits [TS]

  if you like or best of of Thin Lizzy if [TS]

  you buy this [TS]

  that's only for today but for today [TS]

  that's it today our way you know there's [TS]

  a lot of tumult in in in thin lizzy yeah [TS]

  i know they had a lot of trouble but it [TS]

  was that it was the times [TS]

  well and you know it's another one of [TS]

  those things where they went in 4G item [TS]

  and every this a long time ago so i am [TS]

  just getting this now but I think [TS]

  there's a lot of brian robertson you [TS]

  know who is one big guys in the band he [TS]

  wasn't getting the credit anymore [TS]

  yeah it was a you know how did he die [TS]

  with the drink was a heroin guy drew [TS]

  but you know there weren't any big guys [TS]

  in thin lizzy they were all they were [TS]

  all five foot six is that right well [TS]

  that's how that is how they they chose [TS]

  rock stars in that era Rogers dollar [TS]

  budget reasons like cheesy and is the [TS]

  height thing they had to get you had to [TS]

  be smaller than this then this yardstick [TS]

  to ride this ride is super interesting [TS]

  maybe the dressing rooms were like three [TS]

  quarter sized like jello I think yeah I [TS]

  think it was a it was before it was [TS]

  before that era in America when everyone [TS]

  was eating macaroni and cheese and tab [TS]

  and drinking there and becoming like [TS]

  super large like people of the future [TS]

  but there were still a lot of people [TS]

  from the past who didn't have access to [TS]

  the vitamins that were in macaroni and [TS]

  cheese and tab and they were small [TS]

  people they were they were if they were [TS]

  maybe immigrant people that were that [TS]

  were from countries where they didn't [TS]

  have vitamins [TS]

  mhm and so things were scaled [TS]

  differently cars were smaller just [TS]

  before you go anywhere you have roads [TS]

  used to be narrower I don't know draw it [TS]

  was crazy to me is how narrow like our [TS]

  garage door is given then it was built [TS]

  in the twenties [TS]

  yeah it's insanity know you fit a car [TS]

  into that thing [TS]

  well first of all you have to have a [TS]

  volkswagen jetta this is the volkswagen [TS]

  jetta is perfectly nice [TS]

  it's designed to be the same size as a [TS]

  Model T you know it's nice John is if [TS]

  you have come here want to get in our [TS]

  garage can take the great part is good [TS]

  this is such a is a very wide cars has a [TS]

  wider than normal wheelbase on the 77 [TS]

  Trans Am is that correct [TS]

  it's pretty it's pretty much failed [TS]

  chemistry its wide in order to to [TS]

  maintain stability at high speeds yes [TS]

  who are the good part is for you to get [TS]

  the india garage you have to go real [TS]

  slow the plane did is it in my [TS]

  neighborhood like i would i would be not [TS]

  even the 15th most intimidating vehicle [TS]

  on the street just right around my house [TS]

  because everybody down here is driving a [TS]

  villain car also idea what's that what's [TS]

  a villain card [TS]

  well the the classic modern villain car [TS]

  is the is the the the chrysler 300 the [TS]

  the new like gangster car you know the [TS]

  chrysler 300 you know the car i'm [TS]

  talking about gonna know in a second [TS]

  the chrysler 300 is the new it's the new [TS]

  it's a new gangster car [TS]

  and you can customize in irvine oh I see [TS]

  yes yes but there's a guy around the [TS]

  corner that owns a ford ranchero like an [TS]

  early seventies ranchero that's all [TS]

  rusty and he doesn't even have a muffler [TS]

  and the guy next to me has a hat like [TS]

  having the Patrick the guy that comes [TS]

  out everyone's well and she's got in the [TS]

  air [TS]

  he's got one of those dodge pickup [TS]

  trucks like a ram pickup truck that's [TS]

  that yet you need a step ladder to climb [TS]

  into it and like everything everywhere I [TS]

  look around here there's I mean the only [TS]

  thing we don't have is like a toyota [TS]

  pickup with a machine gun matter but if [TS]

  i have the Wi-Fi and a white Trans Am [TS]

  who I would go back to the top of the [TS]

  pile in this in this neighborhood I used [TS]

  to be on the top of the pile because i [TS]

  had six cars parked out in front of my [TS]

  house and everybody knew I was a player [TS]

  but I gave some of those cars to the to [TS]

  the people to train capuchin monkeys to [TS]

  help disabled people and now I've fallen [TS]

  in my neighbor's the seed I'm just I'm [TS]

  just a guy with a guy with cars but [TS]

  Islam but yeah I was the kind of like [TS]

  six cars out front [TS]

  some of them were covered some of them [TS]

  were on bar none that were covered [TS]

  they were all covered with pine needles [TS]

  were the raccoons living it all growing [TS]

  in the rubber rankings will totally live [TS]

  in a car you know that right [TS]

  you know the other day I was sitting in [TS]

  my kitchen I was actually standing in my [TS]

  kitchen there's no place to sit in my [TS]

  kitchen [TS]

  I'm standing my kitchen window and look [TS]

  out the window and here comes a raccoon [TS]

  and it's the middle of the day which is [TS]

  not this is not customary for a raccoon [TS]

  to walk through yard in the middle of [TS]

  the day she's just right out in the open [TS]

  to and I'm like hmm that's unusual what [TS]

  are you doing [TS]

  and then I see trailing behind her is a [TS]

  little baby record and so i'm watching [TS]

  them and then there's a second baby [TS]

  raccoon [TS]

  and they're so the moments like [TS]

  three-quarters of the way across my yard [TS]

  by this point and then there's a third [TS]

  baby raccoon and the third raccoon is [TS]

  like he's sniffing his little nose and [TS]

  every dandylion he's taking his sweet [TS]

  time [TS]

  burbling across the yard mom's all the [TS]

  way halfway across the yard the the [TS]

  first records right behind her first [TS]

  baby is right behind her [TS]

  the second one is kind of you know [TS]

  loping along but this third one [TS]

  he's a real dreamer this guy and he's [TS]

  sniffing and he's looking and then [TS]

  there's a fourth baby raccoon and the [TS]

  fourth work record and he's a real this [TS]

  this once he's a real rebel this one's a [TS]

  poet [TS]

  you know what I mean like he's he's [TS]

  looking in overturned coffee cans he is [TS]

  he's fully a hundred feet behind this [TS]

  mom you can guess which one you [TS]

  identified with so I watch these [TS]

  raccoons loping across my yard in the [TS]

  middle of the day and of course I say [TS]

  this cannot stand [TS]

  I cannot allow this it it broke the [TS]

  uneasy daytime so I race out the front [TS]

  door and the mother raccoon had to make [TS]

  a choice because the the two lopers were [TS]

  far enough behind her that I was coming [TS]

  out the front door and I was going to [TS]

  get in between them and so she made some [TS]

  raccoon sound and all the baby's turned [TS]

  and ran up my catalpa tree but she [TS]

  stayed on the ground 0 so and she ran [TS]

  she kind of went back and got in a [TS]

  position where she was between me and [TS]

  and the bar he deliberately went instead [TS]

  between a mother raccoon interlopers why [TS]

  didn't get right in between but I wanted [TS]

  to I wanted to press this issue i wanted [TS]

  to teach you want to have flanking [TS]

  maneuver I wanted to teach those loping [TS]

  raccoons that there are consequences to [TS]

  be a poet [TS]

  are you always finding great articles on [TS]

  the web you'd love to read but just [TS]

  don't have the time [TS]

  instapaper saves webpages for reading [TS]

  later for ipad iphone android kindle you [TS]

  can read when you're waiting on line [TS]

  riding the bus eating breakfast or lying [TS]

  in bed you can even read offline great [TS]

  for when you're on a plane or the subway [TS]

  and don't have an internet connection [TS]

  pages are shown without clutter or [TS]

  distractions you can adjust the text to [TS]

  a comfortable size and font and much [TS]

  more read more and read better by [TS]

  reading later with instapaper get it now [TS]

  instapaper com or search for instapaper [TS]

  in the app store and I wanted to have [TS]

  mother record to recognize that she had [TS]

  she had lost control of the situation [TS]

  and let's make this little mini it [TS]

  this is gonna be a learning experience [TS]

  for everybody so I got out in the yard [TS]

  and she's out but she's by the barn and [TS]

  she's got a very concerned look on her [TS]

  face and the babies are all up the tree [TS]

  and I don't know if you have much [TS]

  experience watching raccoons hide in a [TS]

  tree where they hide in place you can [TS]

  sit real still [TS]

  yeah they watch the raccoons go up to my [TS]

  daughter and I have tried to like the [TS]

  records in that park across the street [TS]

  they go straight up a tree I know [TS]

  exactly where they live and even when [TS]

  they're staring at me I still can't see [TS]

  them and they don't exactly [TS]

  yeah they make the grab onto the tree [TS]

  and they just kind of turn their bodies [TS]

  in such a way that they become part of [TS]

  the tree and you can be looking at them [TS]

  and they'll just disappear like a [TS]

  Cheshire cat but in any case these baby [TS]

  reckons they understood the concept of [TS]

  this but they had they have not learned [TS]

  exactly how to do it so all four member [TS]

  up kind of right where a raccoon would [TS]

  go to hide in the crook of a branch or [TS]

  whatever and made kind of try and hide [TS]

  but they are there plainly visible [TS]

  they're not fooling me [TS]

  rookie and after a few after a few [TS]

  minutes of being in the tree they can't [TS]

  resist starting to play with each other [TS]

  and try not to each other out of the [TS]

  tree and and they start roughhousing in [TS]

  the tree so the mom is over here the [TS]

  babies are in the tree i'm in between [TS]

  them [TS]

  and I sat down on the grass and I [TS]

  started to explain in a very calm voice [TS]

  to the mother that i was i would had no [TS]

  and I had no evil plan [TS]

  no yeah I'm merely here to teach kinda [TS]

  said listen this is all going to turn [TS]

  out okay this is just a moment of [TS]

  anxiety in your life but I'm gonna sit [TS]

  here I'm going to look at your babies [TS]

  because it's fun i'm gonna look at these [TS]

  four baby records in the tree i'm gonna [TS]

  watch him i'm gonna have fun doing it [TS]

  I'm trying to keep talking to you in a [TS]

  calm voice near fine and I'm fine and [TS]

  they're fine and so we spent about 20 [TS]

  minutes with her like and you know she's [TS]

  nursing right she's got hurt her little [TS]

  teats or Angeles our pendulum and she [TS]

  she she never relaxed i wouldn't say but [TS]

  she sheep calm down to the point where [TS]

  she was like okay this is not an attack [TS]

  scenario he's sitting in the grass but [TS]

  it's still not a very cool scene and the [TS]

  babies were just having the time of [TS]

  their life by this point climate all [TS]

  around the tree was slap boxing each [TS]

  other and after a while I realized okay [TS]

  I have I have I think I've made my point [TS]

  raccoons are welcome here in my yard but [TS]

  there needs to be order there need to be [TS]

  some rules and so I said to her I'm [TS]

  going to get out of your way I'm going [TS]

  to stay here in the yard but I'm gonna [TS]

  get I'm gonna get out of your [TS]

  out-of-the-way of the scene and so I [TS]

  backed up and I sat down in the grass a [TS]

  little bit further and she made this [TS]

  imperceptible sound and all for the [TS]

  raccoon babies who had you know been [TS]

  like often their world when they weren't [TS]

  they weren't looking at her they were [TS]

  they were kind of looking at me but they [TS]

  were really just goofing around in the [TS]

  tree all of a sudden their ears all went [TS]

  up and one by one they went face-first [TS]

  down the down the trunk in a very [TS]

  orderly line and then the parade went [TS]

  off over the fence and behind the barn [TS]

  it was a very nice very nice moment and [TS]

  I feel like those you know those [TS]

  raccoons that were a little dreamy if [TS]

  they still have their dreams [TS]

  there's some there's so many lessons in [TS]

  that yeah normal checkup [TS]

  they still please don't have their [TS]

  dreams it's hard when you're it's hard [TS]

  when your parents they're gonna think [TS]

  they're gonna suck it up when they look [TS]

  when they're moving during day when [TS]

  they're moving when they're when they're [TS]

  cross country during the daytime this is [TS]

  something i'm going to teach my daughter [TS]

  when we are moving cross-country during [TS]

  the day [TS]

  you suck it up you get on my heels go [TS]

  grab a symmetry [TS]

  that's right you're not you're not [TS]

  sniffing in coffee cans look what I want [TS]

  your eyes on I want your eyes on my [TS]

  shoelaces where noted syrena's you too [TS]

  honey 2 right here much okay let's make [TS]

  this happen to boom and you lay low to [TS]

  do that thing where like stupid run [TS]

  really fast like you're like there's a [TS]

  sniper how do you move around during the [TS]

  day if you can say did you get you [TS]

  getting your transaction and just Layla [TS]

  I mean that's a very loud vehicle is [TS]

  plain sight as I look when I'm on foot [TS]

  during the day I hug hug the wall that's [TS]

  smart [TS]

  yeah but when i'm in the car during the [TS]

  day no no you hide in plain sight where [TS]

  the guy with you're the guy who's motor [TS]

  is saying you'll get your chance you [TS]

  could look away who I'm like yeah i'm [TS]

  looking at you still [TS]

  i'm driving by real slow i'm still [TS]

  looking at you amazing part is you know [TS]

  there's there are so many people in your [TS]

  neighborhood were so busy with the [TS]

  chrysler 300 they would not take the [TS]

  time to sit down and explain something [TS]

  to mother record and then teach a lesson [TS]

  to the the record public babies but it [TS]

  is it's amazing to me that not only can [TS]

  you can share that wisdom just vocally I [TS]

  don't know the reason my bullets or [TS]

  specific book was the vocalizations that [TS]

  they needed this with LC I was I was I [TS]

  was speaking to her in this voice is [TS]

  very calming very calm i was like i do i [TS]

  I recognize right now that i am in [TS]

  between a mother raccoon her baby so and [TS]

  that is not [TS]

  that is not strictly advisable it is not [TS]

  something I would tell a ten-year-old to [TS]

  do but I feel like in the in this [TS]

  situation my calm talking is going to [TS]

  make everything happen according to plan [TS]

  you and you give her something to think [TS]

  about you know it's it's a it's a lesson [TS]

  but it's something when she scurries [TS]

  back up her own net to help the trees [TS]

  that i pronounce it cal points out the [TS]

  top but the cut [TS]

  ok when she goes Harper tree and they [TS]

  say she'll have a minute [TS]

  yes the exercises put the poet's to bed [TS]

  she'll have some time to think a little [TS]

  bit and reflect [TS]

  yeah sure you know what I want her to [TS]

  think about what she was thinking about [TS]

  the next fence she was thinking about [TS]

  how to get across the street and she [TS]

  wasn't thinking about that last part [TS]

  baby she was she was she was future for [TS]

  you wanted thinking about that previous [TS]

  fence and the space in between two she [TS]

  was blown right through there like it's [TS]

  normal [TS]

  well I want everybody in my neighborhood [TS]

  raccoons and crows included to recognize [TS]

  that the area within my fence is a [TS]

  special zone you're eating you made it [TS]

  into remember correctly and if you're [TS]

  finished did you actually make a white [TS]

  picket fence yourself you all I picket [TS]

  fence in the front which is a which is [TS]

  kind of a Trojan horse like white picket [TS]

  fences very inviting it makes the house [TS]

  look very like friendly to the street [TS]

  it says the person who lives here is a [TS]

  safe person here like an urban [TS]

  gingerbread house a little gingerbread [TS]

  that's right and then every other fence [TS]

  in my house is booby-trapped [TS]

  oh no all the other thing as different [TS]

  booby traps [TS]

  Oh hundred percent use electricity for [TS]

  everything that foxes are going to get [TS]

  your hands [TS]

  yeah they're gonna figure that out there [TS]

  they're wily and records are really [TS]

  smart and they're really heavy [TS]

  there's a lot of there's a lot that you [TS]

  can do a lot of damage they've just [TS]

  discovered our compost can outside you [TS]

  know San Francisco so you get a compost [TS]

  thing right and and and so now every [TS]

  night we can hear them they figured out [TS]

  how to knock it over [TS]

  I don't know it's looking for 12 years [TS]

  and I never had this until like this [TS]

  week so maybe this is one of those crows [TS]

  thanks John maybe the words gonna spread [TS]

  and and you know and you know I get [TS]

  let's take this to the hundredth monkey [TS]

  level you want to open your scallop be [TS]

  thrown off the cliff right in this [TS]

  instance this [TS]

  be a raccoon and I don't know if they're [TS]

  loners obviously the poet probably spend [TS]

  a lot of time masturbating and you know [TS]

  and reading kowski but she goes out and [TS]

  talks to other raccoons [TS]

  hey that's going to save you the trouble [TS]

  of having to do that again it becomes [TS]

  kind of reckon folk wisdom that she's [TS]

  been able to share it maybe as far as [TS]

  ever it maybe nobody's ever going to go [TS]

  into that transition because they [TS]

  understand that there's an implied fence [TS]

  there [TS]

  here's the thing about raccoons who if [TS]

  you can see ya reckon there are four [TS]

  raccoons can't see [TS]

  oh ok that there are always our records [TS]

  then you said like we're like roaches [TS]

  are businesspeople right although i [TS]

  would never characterized right but I [TS]

  have the utmost respect for raccoons and [TS]

  i would put roaches and business people [TS]

  in a separate class i'm gonna come back [TS]

  to that I want to feel my butt raccoons [TS]

  and crows I feel are very similar to one [TS]

  another in the sense that there they are [TS]

  territorial but they also also travel in [TS]

  groups and and they're thinking ahead in [TS]

  most cases and I think this this mother [TS]

  record and her babies are all going to [TS]

  be now forward thinking they're all [TS]

  there [TS]

  they're always going to have 1i looking [TS]

  out who you know what I mean I reckon so [TS]

  you know like Chris like any of these [TS]

  like a la it's like how how I find [TS]

  myself attracted to a certain kind of [TS]

  superhero like I'm not that into a [TS]

  superhero that's just wrong it's just [TS]

  fast it's just wiley I like the [TS]

  combination and in this case your it's [TS]

  kind of like you got the strength of the [TS]

  hall right you got the wildness of [TS]

  somebody's not the Hulk in if you want [TS]

  to start a little bit of sarcasm in a [TS]

  superhero and I was absolutely [TS]

  I I you know what bordering on cockiness [TS]

  mhm you know maybe you fall down but you [TS]

  get back out now how seriously taking [TS]

  this car thing that's some trouble wombo [TS]

  realism right there [TS]

  um here's the thing i'm sorry for you [TS]

  say that what if i could say roughly now [TS]

  and now I don't want again I don't want [TS]

  to bring up an old wound if you can do [TS]

  that but did that your van blew up a [TS]

  while back is that correct oh yeah i'm [TS]

  still devastated shame of it smells like [TS]

  fart anywhere near though no no another [TS]

  actually cleaned out all the parts and [TS]

  they're using it to transport Capuchin [TS]

  helper monkey somewhere [TS]

  wow you're my helper monkey people [TS]

  that's full of monkeys right was it [TS]

  but it wasn't burnt on the front part [TS]

  was that I was it like the engine seized [TS]

  up or what happened [TS]

  no it was a it was a situation where at [TS]

  300,000 miles the the for transmission [TS]

  just ate itself that's a goddamn shame [TS]

  that's it that's all you got out of it [TS]

  yeah I know right and the engine is [TS]

  still the engine absolutely still [TS]

  running the triton v10 motor great motor [TS]

  I i would say that n cylinder engine [TS]

  that's correct tense and i would put [TS]

  that in any power boat i was building [TS]

  it's a it's a great mother and I'm sure [TS]

  that they replace the transmission on [TS]

  this thing and it is it went to live on [TS]

  a farm you want to live on a monkey farm [TS]

  and it is there they're driving around [TS]

  so it's probably the vehicle they used [TS]

  to teach the monkeys to drive that was [TS]

  thinking the exact same thing [TS]

  let's be honest yeah the monkeys wanted [TS]

  to go on to her if they put out another [TS]

  record wanted to go into anything it [TS]

  would probably not be something you want [TS]

  to put a lot of miles on you have to do [TS]

  you have to refurbish a lot of things [TS]

  but you know what it's like a fucking [TS]

  Capuchin golf cart [TS]

  it's fine for getting around the [TS]

  compound drive around the compound the [TS]

  doctor the thing is if you like a [TS]

  seeing-eye dog you get tired you walk a [TS]

  lot you have to bark like if you have a [TS]

  differently hearing person like you have [TS]

  to let me know that's a doorbell that's [TS]

  a microwave your brain to rest they [TS]

  might have to take them from one area to [TS]

  another [TS]

  I'm sure that's what's happening i have [TS]

  no I have no doubt in my mind that [TS]

  activation occupational therapy that's [TS]

  what it is and I left I left all of the [TS]

  all of the all-access passes from 15 [TS]

  years of touring that were that we had [TS]

  plastered all inside the band they're [TS]

  all still there and I'm sure the monkeys [TS]

  treasure them when they get a tinkerbell [TS]

  out safe and sound and they think to [TS]

  themselves [TS]

  Wow can you imagine what ever been like [TS]

  to be backstage at a December's concert [TS]

  in 2003 ah dreams being cited for eating [TS]

  the crudite re in as much as you can say [TS]

  what is your current vehicle situation [TS]

  well so currently I i have the choice of [TS]

  three hoop tease one hoopty is a is a is [TS]

  a 2000 volkswagen jetta oh what a v6 [TS]

  motor for color and a five-speed it's [TS]

  black which is the color of all Jenna's [TS]

  and that is the judges are gonna start [TS]

  rental interrupted are approximately how [TS]

  many miles what's the condition it's got [TS]

  about 8,000 miles and it's in fairly [TS]

  decent consists condition i would say [TS]

  that is the car that I used to zip [TS]

  around her if I if I'm leaving the house [TS]

  and like I I'm gonna be zipping around [TS]

  today I take the zip around car [TS]

  ok and then there is the 1997 chrysler [TS]

  LHS model large Stan that only an old [TS]

  person would buy it isn't it is the car [TS]

  that that you have to I think you have [TS]

  to be 75 years old to buy it in the end [TS]

  up from the showroom [TS]

  yeah power windows power windows power [TS]

  brakes leather seats soon [TS]

  this is the car that I inherited from my [TS]

  dad at one point I was a the the band [TS]

  mumford and sons had come to Seattle and [TS]

  after the show they were like I'm right [TS]

  here in Seattle let's go get some [TS]

  Seattle food ingredient it's late at [TS]

  night and we're gonna have a great [TS]

  Seattle time he just took me just took a [TS]

  lingual tour of England you let you just [TS]

  within one sentence went just like five [TS]

  different cities in England and I said [TS]

  stop New York shit for come on Mumford & [TS]

  Sons pile in my own age with us and so [TS]

  we're driving around seattle and they [TS]

  are all of them all four of them in the [TS]

  backseat of the of this car sliding [TS]

  around on the big leather couch and they [TS]

  are marveling american cars and I like [TS]

  this car so big it's so amazing [TS]

  look at all this whole room and it's got [TS]

  power windows and power seats and was [TS]

  sliding around with just a merry bunch [TS]

  of Englishmen brilliant it's brilliant [TS]

  isn't it Wow and I was like you English [TS]

  people are so cute and charming and we [TS]

  drove around the car they didn't want to [TS]

  go to a restaurant they just wanted to [TS]

  drive around in my big American car and [TS]

  play slap and tickle with each other [TS]

  impacts of those letters so that so that [TS]

  is let to who p2 we have any [TS]

  again what you're I'm sorry that's a 97 [TS]

  it's blue and green [TS]

  it's a car that I get into a lot of [TS]

  arguments with my mom about because i [TS]

  say i'm taking the blue car and she says [TS]

  it's green [TS]

  oh and I said that it would have let me [TS]

  have better sense of color but I [TS]

  disagree with that I say this is not a [TS]

  green card this is a blue car it is blue [TS]

  green but it is blue green shading to [TS]

  blue and she says it's amazing you can [TS]

  get your records finished she says you [TS]

  are wrong it is blue green shading to [TS]

  green and therefore it is a green car [TS]

  and I say this blue car we have never [TS]

  resolved this i'm trying to find out [TS]

  right now it appears that the 1997 [TS]

  chrysler LLC I'm going here by the [TS]

  colors of touch-up paint that you can [TS]

  get is that did you agree that that is a [TS]

  fair [TS]

  yeah I'd say okay that's why spend that [TS]

  the ones that we think we can rule out [TS]

  is drama gold metallic got that crystal [TS]

  stone white light platinum metallic [TS]

  right right out [TS]

  it's an England well I don't wild berry [TS]

  pearl which is gonna be a pole dancer [TS]

  named candy apple red I love candy apple [TS]

  i love that was one of my favorite [TS]

  segments of the reckless could do is try [TS]

  we don't wear out we got deep amethyst [TS]

  up against deep amethyst pearl the [TS]

  Spruce pearl metallic deep amethyst [TS]

  pearl is clearly like a midnight blue [TS]

  at least here on my with my color [TS]

  settings on my monitor and spruce pearl [TS]

  metallic is going almost a slightly [TS]

  darker gonna be green [TS]

  so do you have sense i can send you the [TS]

  URL for this [TS]

  well you know I could run this could [TS]

  just be touched us maybe people you know [TS]

  what maybe he's people who get blue [TS]

  almost green paint don't need to touch [TS]

  up paint i'm wondering if it isn't [TS]

  spruce but a but let me look at medicare [TS]

  as we know it might have a patina it [TS]

  definitely has a patina m97 chrysler LHS [TS]

  sit down cut all this out don't worry [TS]

  you know what it might be this bruce let [TS]

  me ask you a question [TS]

  nah crown victoria yeah what about it [TS]

  well what what is the one thing that [TS]

  everybody knows about a crown victoria [TS]

  is a taxicab well I think of it as being [TS]

  the cop car [TS]

  oh I'm sorry oh alright alright there's [TS]

  a little dick sure yeah yeah but I mean [TS]

  like you see a crown Vicki if you're [TS]

  somebody who looks in the rearview [TS]

  mirror a lot and it does so to see if [TS]

  it's a cop behind you you get real good [TS]

  at knowing for example in the eighties [TS]

  you could learn like oh that's key rack [TS]

  versus that's flashing lights it if you [TS]

  were somebody that had a lot of weed in [TS]

  your car you learn square headlights you [TS]

  gotta start checking if they're [TS]

  rectangular headlights you need to be [TS]

  looking at you learn what a crown vics [TS]

  headlights look like right now said [TS]

  around probably some fruity European in [TS]

  the eighties of course all cop cars were [TS]

  Chevy caprices I'm gonna have to look [TS]

  that up here's what I'm saying I'm gonna [TS]

  say is this when i see a crown vic i [TS]

  know it's a cop car right I see chrysler [TS]

  LHS that's not a cop car but i think [TS]

  that might be a cop's car in this case [TS]

  yes it was owned by an attorney but [TS]

  looking at the chrysler LHS page on [TS]

  wikipedia which is an internet site it [TS]

  looks very much to me like the first and [TS]

  second-generation chrysler LHS rights [TS]

  1997 is when they look like they redid [TS]

  it in 99 is when and the new ones look a [TS]

  little bit almost like a Fiat like up [TS]

  like a what he called a glandular [TS]

  problem you know [TS]

  Oh a president porpoise whoo-hoo yeah [TS]

  Andre the Giant car or enjoy Ramon so [TS]

  this is so much like a cop's car the LHS [TS]

  is is very much a cop's car are cops [TS]

  wife's car and it is it is a it's a car [TS]

  that is so it's so featureless that get [TS]

  is the ultimate blend in car like I I [TS]

  used to drive when I had that van the [TS]

  van is a is a is a total blend into [TS]

  certain it blends into industrial areas [TS]

  if you're driving that van especially [TS]

  the one that I had with tinted windows [TS]

  were driving that van through a suburban [TS]

  neighborhood who every mom comes out and [TS]

  spend rushers her kids back inside no [TS]

  question but if you're driving and [TS]

  totally had that vibe it's a little bit [TS]

  too innocuous it's either going to be [TS]

  some kind of like if I may say a [TS]

  government spy probably something is a [TS]

  little bit rapey mm are you can't be a [TS]

  little rapey the less not going to [TS]

  circle back to that but in seattle for [TS]

  instance there's a there's a river [TS]

  called the Duwamish River and their [TS]

  factories lining the river all the way [TS]

  long and one of my favorite things to do [TS]

  later tonight is to drive down into [TS]

  because the factories you can drive down [TS]

  into them and then drive kind of threw [TS]

  them along the river and go from one [TS]

  factory to the next it's not a place [TS]

  it's a place where forklifts are who is [TS]

  not a place where anyone would ever [TS]

  think to drive so they haven't it hasn't [TS]

  occurred to anybody to block it off arm [TS]

  because it's a it's a bit you you're [TS]

  actually just driving through factories [TS]

  while there while they're making lead [TS]

  ingots or whatever they do in factories [TS]

  and at two o'clock in the morning it's [TS]

  the night shift their guys down there [TS]

  there there there making sparks a lot of [TS]

  a lot of these factories all they do [TS]

  late at night is just make sparks [TS]

  there's just a guy with a zephyr for [TS]

  export [TS]

  it's just like he's got a car by and saw [TS]

  blade and he's just sawing letting gets [TS]

  and is making sparks I'm convinced [TS]

  that's all that sounds like a new deal [TS]

  make work much decided out of this box [TS]

  factory you feel like you're in a Billy [TS]

  Joel video from the middle age there's [TS]

  some guy system got a hard-on and it's [TS]

  just it's like three o'clock in the [TS]

  morning he's just making sparks so I dry [TS]

  used to drive my van down through these [TS]

  factories and you know you would go in [TS]

  through the loading door just like they [TS]

  just wait you three [TS]

  yeah you drive through this like like [TS]

  50,000 square-foot building where there [TS]

  are a dozen guys making sparks and by [TS]

  the time they look up from their carbide [TS]

  saws and go [TS]

  what was that i'm already out but out [TS]

  the door on the other side and driving [TS]

  through the next building and I'm going [TS]

  really slow right this humble and in [TS]

  that van I looked like I was on official [TS]

  business [TS]

  I look like I was a guy that belong [TS]

  there i was there delivering new car [TS]

  bits and and so I never got challenged [TS]

  security guards they don't even wave you [TS]

  through they just don't they they just [TS]

  don't look at me like I don't even have [TS]

  to check that bad you know there's a bad [TS]

  we just drive right past these guys kind [TS]

  of give them a little nod they kind of [TS]

  give me an awed by the time they were [TS]

  like who's that guy was already like a [TS]

  hundred feet down you know through the [TS]

  building and I used to love that [TS]

  it was one of my favorite late-night [TS]

  activities but when the van went away [TS]

  try doing that in a black jetta em who [TS]

  was that you I is you know we have a [TS]

  similar car in that we have a bachata [TS]

  and it no matter you look like you're [TS]

  hiding something with a black jetta a [TS]

  black jetta does not belong there [TS]

  black jetta looks like you have pulled [TS]

  over looking for a place to do a little [TS]

  line of crystal meth along you don't [TS]

  you're he did that's not true [TS]

  internal problem is you don't belong [TS]

  you're you're you're a man without a [TS]

  country and I've been a black jetta the [TS]

  only place that you belong is at a out [TS]

  at like Morrissey concert in our parking [TS]

  lot doing bumps of shitty crystal up [TS]

  your feet it is now the black jetta [TS]

  means nothing it wasn't as one of a [TS]

  passat right beside ya passat can be a [TS]

  super classy right i think it's what my [TS]

  lady with would probably like to have if [TS]

  she had a more successful husband but [TS]

  I'll you know if we have a mutual friend [TS]

  who's quite well-to-do that it has a [TS]

  very very nice passat that's yeah i just [TS]

  heard a very very comfortable car now [TS]

  the problem is the reason i say this [TS]

  it's like you to be discussed in the [TS]

  past i'm sorry to derail you have a [TS]

  couple more questions about locks and i [TS]

  wanna hear about your third hoop dee but [TS]

  just quickly I'm i i i iu mention the [TS]

  past you felt like you were you were [TS]

  never in any nerd camp [TS]

  you were so nerdy that you weren't a [TS]

  nerd right you didn't even fit in with [TS]

  this group over here that you didn't [TS]

  align yourself with the dnd people or [TS]

  with fantasy people you'll scare was [TS]

  old-fashioned or which meant that I [TS]

  tried to learn big words and I like to [TS]

  read books I didn't think you thought it [TS]

  was working [TS]

  and-and-and-and thought that adults when [TS]

  I was a ten-year-old I believe that [TS]

  adults considered appear because i [TS]

  thought i thought i was working from the [TS]

  inside when I all I you know what I was [TS]

  exactly like that like that story Paul's [TS]

  case about my short story about the kid [TS]

  who wants to go be fancy and he goes out [TS]

  and steals money becomes fancy I was [TS]

  like that I absolutely thought there's [TS]

  no question I fit in i'm at least as [TS]

  smart as all these people look I don't I [TS]

  know words like [TS]

  antidisestablishmentarianism [TS]

  that's right Sharon differently yes [TS]

  serendipity is that [TS]

  was it wrong now there's so many words [TS]

  like that's right i think i did Serendip [TS]

  ID for the other day I was driving along [TS]

  with a friend and I said well we [TS]

  certainly have a Darth of options and [TS]

  she said there can only be 26 said you [TS]

  see Darth options and I said we had our [TS]

  thought you said i believe it's [TS]

  pronounced earth [TS]

  its lucky you were outside right believe [TS]

  I said fuck you fuck you fuck you bookie [TS]

  eyes as he shot shot the Rotter guys and [TS]

  said I know how to pronounce it [TS]

  no I didn't do that I said I said I've [TS]

  i'm pretty sure that this is one of [TS]

  those words that has multiple acceptable [TS]

  pronunciation [TS]

  here's the 10 well then the problem is [TS]

  she has electronic phone [TS]

  Oh brighter and was putting in my face [TS]

  where there was not it did not say to [TS]

  acceptable pronunciations it's a dearth [TS]

  is the acceptable pronunciation and i'll [TS]

  wear that phone has been that could have [TS]

  been easily tampered with [TS]

  that's right anyway I I I hadn't felt in [TS]

  that situation that honor a like [TS]

  compelled me to admit this one instance [TS]

  that maybe she had a point [TS]

  well i would i'm not going to see your [TS]

  something might happen no that's silly [TS]

  sounds way better and I think you'd say [TS]

  that you misspoke it was you know it's [TS]

  like it's like the difference between [TS]

  something being lost and something being [TS]

  mislaid people who say I misspoke [TS]

  deserve a kick in the balls [TS]

  is that right and really the word to use [TS]

  for it i don't i don't believe I don't [TS]

  believe in I misspoke alcohol when I [TS]

  what about what about miss Layton lost [TS]

  oh I will slay something I don't like it [TS]

  when people say I lost my keys [TS]

  now you lose your virginity you miss [TS]

  Leigh your keys well so fucking drunk [TS]

  away structure also structurally Wilson [TS]

  is my only thought on this first of all [TS]

  I just close the thread on this crown [TS]

  victoria first of all sad news i'm sorry [TS]

  i have to bring it to you in this [TS]

  particular format has been discontinued [TS]

  and I knew that [TS]

  ok that's just that's a bummer is there [TS]

  only around for 20 years ninety-two 2012 [TS]

  convict share the for panther platform [TS]

  the one we've seen as it's called the [TS]

  ford crown victoria police interceptor [TS]

  which is a fucking cool name [TS]

  great up there with a space explorer [TS]

  yeah those cars you even drive those [TS]

  cars into the ocean and they do you go [TS]

  and try to buy a phone and seriously [TS]

  you'll see like on the poster it's [TS]

  called like the the lexisnexis 35 15-0 [TS]

  release 6 or whatever can be fucking [TS]

  kidding me [TS]

  police interceptor uh only full-frame [TS]

  rear-wheel drive passenger sedan having [TS]

  been built in north america and was [TS]

  popularly used in taxi cab fleet and [TS]

  police service vehicles so yes I think [TS]

  we can share the credit on that one [TS]

  well I'm the thing is now cops are using [TS]

  all kinds of like these dodge hot rods [TS]

  that look like that look like a coke [TS]

  dealer cars like they're not driving [TS]

  around anymore in crown vics we're like [TS]

  that's a cop [TS]

  well cops still they still kind of [TS]

  anonymous in silhouette I think that's [TS]

  important [TS]

  well it's it's worse not only are they [TS]

  are not anonymous and silhouette but [TS]

  they can come right up on your ass has [TS]

  happened to me the other night as I was [TS]

  speeding along drinks on a section of [TS]

  road that i know it is safe to speed on [TS]

  and as I was going I was speeding along [TS]

  i was getting I was getting past the [TS]

  dumb people that aren't that I have to [TS]

  share the road with around here I was [TS]

  bringing them behind me and then there [TS]

  was a guy right on my bumper and I was [TS]

  like oh this guy wants to play who's [TS]

  this guy is right on my bumper holy moly [TS]

  this guy sees it [TS]

  this is an aggressive 3am driving and so [TS]

  this is a raccoon is ready to get an [TS]

  associates degree so there are times in [TS]

  a situation like that where I will say [TS]

  all right buddy let's see what you got [TS]

  but i was i was it more like I was in a [TS]

  more like fast but calm mood and that I [TS]

  pulled my hoopty over one lane and I was [TS]

  like I'm gonna let you go Bob [TS]

  here's what I'm gonna let you go I'll [TS]

  have grown whoa I'm gonna let you go by [TS]

  it's 3am you you're here obviously [TS]

  you're hot dogger I'm gonna let you get [TS]

  on down the road and I pull over and [TS]

  this side pulls up next to me and it's a [TS]

  fucking state trooper code and he pulls [TS]

  up right next to me and we're both hall [TS]

  and ass down the road and he going there [TS]

  is at me because it's not required glare [TS]

  it's like a [TS]

  you motherfucker you think you really [TS]

  think they can just drive whatever speed [TS]

  you want and I was like oh hello officer [TS]

  suddenly you're the lady care i took my [TS]

  foot off the gas and put on the brake [TS]

  means you're going to ask the whole time [TS]

  great that's about what I took my foot [TS]

  off the gas but the car just kind of [TS]

  went and I as i stated back out of his [TS]

  black you know as as he blocks I contact [TS]

  with as I just sort of late reply i'm [TS]

  receiving hmm he look really stepped on [TS]

  it and and and flew off into the night [TS]

  like dick I was like well he had [TS]

  somewhere to be but he wanted to take a [TS]

  look minute to give me the give me the [TS]

  Jeep's but the problem with it was he [TS]

  was in some dodge r/t I don't even know [TS]

  what the hell those cars are called it's [TS]

  a it's like it it's not a challenger at [TS]

  the it's a Dodge [TS]

  what the hell is that true police car [TS]

  he's in a new season one of these new [TS]

  dodges that looks like just a guy though [TS]

  I just dodge charger my friend you can [TS]

  charge dock or illness 71 dodge coronet [TS]

  yeah so yeah these students are not sure [TS]

  it's a car that any guy that just that [TS]

  just got a navy is going to happen oh [TS]

  come on this is the same kind of car is [TS]

  this way to start javelin with Starsky [TS]

  and Hutch right this was Dukes of [TS]

  Hazzard no journalist garage was a Ford [TS]

  Torino torino who had a javelin was that [TS]

  start uh anybody to at an AMC job is my [TS]

  grandma did I don't get it right you got [TS]

  grand for mr. Nash dealership that [TS]

  became an AMC dealership seriously [TS]

  yes in ohio who max dealership on the [TS]

  owned it i mean you can make sure like [TS]

  that up in case can check it so I don't [TS]

  know [TS]

  Nash like the head down to japanesey [TS]

  with a 45 [TS]

  yeah yeah Profiles in Courage boy this [TS]

  is a really stupid looking car [TS]

  yeah but the cops are using these things [TS]

  out and they're using maybe they're [TS]

  they're hopping with all kinds of hot [TS]

  pain and it there there this car is this [TS]

  is so chicken and waffles this card is [TS]

  not knowing if you search for on the [TS]

  internet it really doesn't know what it [TS]

  wants to be its have no identity [TS]

  prices i know a lot of people are drawn [TS]

  a lot of people are buying them like I'm [TS]

  hot rodder and then the cops are driving [TS]

  them and then there's also like Navy [TS]

  wives and stuff it's very confusing when [TS]

  you see the cars on the road like I [TS]

  don't know what that is anymore but you [TS]

  know it's either going to be boring [TS]

  trouble or both [TS]

  well yeah and so I'm starting but but [TS]

  you look at that and that's kind of that [TS]

  headlight group configuration dodge uses [TS]

  that are not a different car so you get [TS]

  your rear-view mirror like is that a [TS]

  station wagon is it Jack top is it I [TS]

  don't know it's it's too much too much [TS]

  too much and also the cops around here [TS]

  driving SUVs now I it's hard to let it [TS]

  through and harder and harder to know [TS]

  know when you can speed [TS]

  well and also if a guy comes up on your [TS]

  on your back bumper is it is it time for [TS]

  a showdown for to pull over to the side [TS]

  of the road and let everybody know i [TS]

  mean is i think they've shown their hand [TS]

  exactly i think they're showing their [TS]

  hand just a little bit because first of [TS]

  all you know it's funny I was gonna say [TS]

  this phone i want to look at that [TS]

  Chrysler 300 [TS]

  yeah this thing is on first glance it I [TS]

  thought it looked like Jack Elam looks a [TS]

  little bit wall-eyed but then if you [TS]

  really look at the front of it it looks [TS]

  a little bit like I don't know like [TS]

  Wally or something it for a long time I [TS]

  thought it's really happy looking at wal [TS]

  I'd at first one that one that one [TS]

  nothing first came out I was convinced [TS]

  it it it was a Soviet car that they had [TS]

  discovered the plans for in some like [TS]

  version basement was like it was like a [TS]

  so it was a bullet bureau car it's got a [TS]

  family truckster kind of feel on the [TS]

  grill and so now it does they have like [TS]

  they say monkey did I become like a you [TS]

  know but when that when that car first [TS]

  came out it was very sinister looking i [TS]

  thought it was great style [TS]

  well here's the thing on this one and we [TS]

  still get you through hip deep for [TS]

  running out of time here is this [TS]

  particular charger it looks a little [TS]

  sinister it looks like it's kind of like [TS]

  it's brows are you know what I mean the [TS]

  classic kind of browse the furrowed but [TS]

  like we made it made it look like it [TS]

  like we made it made it look like it [TS]

  got like the japanese anime eyes yes or [TS]

  a power ranger that is mad about a power [TS]

  ranger man ultraman maybe yeah somebody [TS]

  somebody who is mad because their sound [TS]

  sword is having a hard time killing [TS]

  robots or whatever it is whatever animal [TS]

  characters get mad about what are you [TS]

  mad about that somebody's tried it but [TS]

  some furry is trying to stick to pee pee [TS]

  in there been there but you know and [TS]

  somebody somebody bought their [TS]

  daughter's underwear do you know about [TS]

  this [TS]

  yes you can buy japanese girl and what [TS]

  did you know there's like a whole [TS]

  there's like a whole name for me look up [TS]

  the panty fetish [TS]

  there's a certain is a name here's the [TS]

  thing here's the thing about Japan [TS]

  ya ya estamos have 50 words for snow and [TS]

  the Diamonds have one word for every [TS]

  single weird thing you can do with your [TS]

  people [TS]

  the Germans you know they're just don't [TS]

  just slap them together later and just [TS]

  say but scheisse on the end [TS]

  let me see here's a panty store [TS]

  apparently turns out that i'm trying to [TS]

  find the name and this is actually [TS]

  looking at one time just for Japanese [TS]

  panting store there's a store there are [TS]

  stores that you can actually go to yeah [TS]

  i'm doing this from memory because i [TS]

  only read this before the stores you can [TS]

  actually go to on the stress response [TS]

  you can actually go into a store and you [TS]

  open the door and enters and the bell [TS]

  Danes and a person try to pronounce this [TS]

  i don't know i can't pronounce this be [TS]

  you are UserA it's almost like the guy [TS]

  from The Godfather Bruce era booster yes [TS]

  the Japanese were caused by combining [TS]

  about buruma meaning bloomers as in the [TS]

  bottoms of girls swimsuits and serafuku [TS]

  mean sailor suit and it's that they sell [TS]

  used girls gym suits as well as school [TS]

  uniforms you can buy undergarments [TS]

  swimsuits [TS]

  you can also buy socks sanitary napkins [TS]

  haha urine and feces and so that's the [TS]

  kind of store apps you can go in there [TS]

  you know you'll see your kid your kid [TS]

  you want to make a little bit of extra [TS]

  but it's not yet where they got their [TS]

  yakitori is one of the color money again [TS]

  and again and again the one hand china [TS]

  it's called China the the Chinese all [TS]

  the junk [TS]

  ok thank you got a couple extra bot song [TS]

  and you know anyone who buys yeah yeah [TS]

  yeah he's funny [TS]

  I you know I'm just gonna guess I did [TS]

  the order that these are provided in on [TS]

  the wikipedia page is roughly how they [TS]

  laid out in the store like when you go [TS]

  into a disney store the sailor suits [TS]

  first [TS]

  well yeah maybe maybe they're just such [TS]

  as stocks just socks in the front like [TS]

  we're going to disney store the princess [TS]

  stuff is in the back which thank god [TS]

  you're not going to everything my own my [TS]

  daughter's not into but like that that's [TS]

  the target right you a lot of kids there [TS]

  you know okay here's the thing John [TS]

  why is milk in the back of every grocery [TS]

  store because they want you have to walk [TS]

  through the store to get the single most [TS]

  popular item eggs milk right all the [TS]

  staples are in the back of the store [TS]

  that's completely by design in this case [TS]

  if you want tap on saliva urine feces [TS]

  you're gonna have to walk through some [TS]

  socks some socks and panties and some [TS]

  some gym suits right and you might be [TS]

  picking up to be like you don't want to [TS]

  send them here i'm gonna grab some of [TS]

  these dirty socks and some of these use [TS]

  gym suit bottoms [TS]

  yeah yeah you make a shopping list a [TS]

  bucket of species from a japanese girl [TS]

  under bukkake phone and get you prove [TS]

  that that feces came from a from a [TS]

  deputy's girl in a in a sailor suit yeah [TS]

  here's the thing this is this is gonna [TS]

  be our 5th property prison poop screw [TS]

  school girls used to openly participate [TS]

  in the sale of their use panties and [TS]

  that so there's a lot passing 2004 so in [TS]

  2004 it was reported that some underage [TS]

  girls were instead if they're banned [TS]

  from selling panties allowing their [TS]

  clients called Kashia or sniffers to [TS]

  sniff their underwear from directly [TS]

  between their legs wide all those those [TS]

  little nasty little mix's others chose [TS]

  to sell photos of themselves throwing in [TS]

  the use panties for free [TS]

  oh you're a swap meet you want to be [TS]

  here by this nut and bolt for a dollar [TS]

  an hour in a mirror [TS]

  listen you can't you can't I can't I am [TS]

  legally prohibited from selling my [TS]

  paintings but if you pay to sniff my [TS]

  panties are going through the pairings [TS]

  in for free [TS]

  it's a victimless crime yeah so I don't [TS]

  know the thing is I seems to me that if [TS]

  you're driving around in a car like that [TS]

  this is the kind of thing it's going to [TS]

  be on your mind is my daughters are my [TS]

  daughter my daughter's fancy bits at a [TS]

  brew Sarah maybe with a photo maybe not [TS]

  were I think the saliva comes looking [TS]

  jar you think it's really think is [TS]

  attractively packaged you know how do [TS]

  you know how long have to milk a little [TS]

  Japanese girl to get a jar of saliva [TS]

  two-and-a-half hours [TS]

  you do know cutting anything changes [TS]

  yeah where you know what they call it [TS]

  the Pacific Rim you you hold you hold a [TS]

  giant Alibaba haha you put a big battle [TS]

  around and then you had just a big bow [TS]

  that's holding a jar on her chin right [TS]

  here like is the lolly [TS]

  yeah so the job of the Japanese have [TS]

  eight different words for tampon but [TS]

  they only don't have any words for [TS]

  missionary position today is never come [TS]

  up it's never come up we have a [TS]

  different kinds of tampons or just a [TS]

  different words for the same time [TS]

  yeah I know she's a very very small [TS]

  they've transistor tampons there [TS]

  yeah screw double for small people to [TS]

  say don't have macaroni and cheese error [TS]

  hoopty a third hoop dee is a Chrysler [TS]

  another Christ product hook because my [TS]

  family uh although although in my [TS]

  eighties my family went foreign like [TS]

  like a lot of people did in the eighties [TS]

  and so there was literally falling apart [TS]

  on the lot they were selling prices in [TS]

  America who my dad started out ease and [TS]

  my mom went through she cycled through [TS]

  like she had a show for a while [TS]

  crazy things before she settled on your [TS]

  mom bought up his shell [TS]

  well i kinda like I forced her to that [TS]

  is there was a joke [TS]

  ippudo 604 which is a pooja that you [TS]

  don't see anymore because they all [TS]

  rusted away and they didn't make very [TS]

  many to begin with but it was the [TS]

  Charleston all look at BWW it was a [TS]

  beautiful car beautifully made and it [TS]

  was beautifully handled beautifully it [TS]

  was very stately the 64 and I talked my [TS]

  mom into buying this car because i was [TS]

  like we'll listen I'm in high school now [TS]

  we live in a nice neighborhood [TS]

  we need a car that represents we need to [TS]

  be we need if we need like a foreign [TS]

  sedan but I don't want us to get some [TS]

  mercedes or out or something of volvo [TS]

  that everybody has I wanted to have like [TS]

  a like and I was so I was so crazy [TS]

  I talked her into this crazy car and she [TS]

  put it and it was one of those cars were [TS]

  like anytime you any time you went up on [TS]

  the curb [TS]

  you dented the titanium rims that cost [TS]

  five thousand dollars to you know to [TS]

  polish and all the stuff that was it was [TS]

  it was completely impractical car but it [TS]

  was very fast in any case we went [TS]

  through a bad period there in the [TS]

  eighties where we started buying foreign [TS]

  cars but up until that point from the [TS]

  from the forties to the to the eighties [TS]

  both of my parents were chrysler [TS]

  daughter mopar people who and they [TS]

  always known you know some kind of some [TS]

  kind of plymouth or some kind of Dodge [TS]

  and so I'm so anyway I have to chrysler [TS]

  products now and it is because i have i [TS]

  have inherited them from my from my [TS]

  parents but my the third hoop dee is a [TS]

  chrysler sebring convertible [TS]

  oh wait sebring convertible haha you you [TS]

  that is like you used to wear this Stan [TS]

  Smith tennis shoes that sounds like the [TS]

  stan smith tennis shoes of choirs I [TS]

  still work Stan Smith tennis shoes and I [TS]

  drive around in a white ford convertible [TS]

  and people think that I'm gay he eating [TS]

  dinner at three o'clock think I'm a [TS]

  middle-aged gay man and I am happy to be [TS]

  mistaken for a middle-aged man because [TS]

  of wells would drive a white convertible [TS]

  around Seattle like to let people know [TS]

  that you like the top down with a big [TS]

  for the big beard if you were runaway [TS]

  sitting on your suitcase [TS]

  oh and I and I fold up in this white [TS]

  sebring convertible you could get into [TS]

  perfectly safe because you know what i'm [TS]

  listening to stealers wheel in the [TS]

  stereo there's nothing bad there's not [TS]

  nothing bad can happen right eat like a [TS]

  talk about shoes in line dancing right [TS]

  so that's Mike ruling hoopty like I get [TS]

  in that car when it's a sunny day and [TS]

  I'm feeling like but it also it's got [TS]

  it's got a v6 it's not a it's no shocker [TS]

  so I cruise around neighborhood in that [TS]

  and it's also but you know since I live [TS]

  uh since i live in the black pepper and [TS]

  also get respect from the from the [TS]

  middle-aged black guys who are like [TS]

  alright that car's got a little bit of [TS]

  class like you you're a smooth operator [TS]

  I got your sheet your shoes match your [TS]

  hats who if you don't I'm saying is that [TS]

  is that a lot of people care thing she [TS]

  might [TS]

  ok you got three of these got three hope [TS]

  you got 2,000 VW jetta ATK pretty pretty [TS]

  decent condition chrysler LHS Sudan 97 [TS]

  and mrs. cop car you got the chrysler [TS]

  sebring we got the stan smith car that's [TS]

  right [TS]

  ah i have anything what I need to add to [TS]

  this yeah is I think the 1977 well you [TS]

  thought I for any it comes as no [TS]

  surprise i have surmised that there's no [TS]

  fucking question [TS]

  there's plenty of room in this lineup [TS]

  for a fourth 50-win shiny shiny seats [TS]

  and lots and lots of air fresheners you [TS]

  know what though you should go and do [TS]

  you think you're pretty good sense of [TS]

  smell [TS]

  oh yeah I have a sense of smell that [TS]

  haunts me for pretty much everything by [TS]

  yourself [TS]

  no no I I know you're aware you're aware [TS]

  i recognize that i have a very [TS]

  distinctive a musk which thank god its [TS]

  people equate at the with both but [TS]

  masculinity and also like virility [TS]

  sexual you have any problems amazingly [TS]

  victorian euphemisms that you only use [TS]

  in discussing yourself [TS]

  mm and I i I've found over the years [TS]

  that that the my shirts my old shirts [TS]

  are prized prized by young women in in [TS]

  the northwest if they can get their [TS]

  hands on one of my old shirts they wear [TS]

  it to bed at night and they look jury [TS]

  eight in that musky smell and they said [TS]

  i would like to make babies have you [TS]

  thought about being a modest store what [TS]

  occurred to me today to sell my shirts [TS]

  on the internet or saliva but i'm not [TS]

  going to sell macs alive that's all [TS]

  yours now because that but the question [TS]

  of selling your shirt on the internet is [TS]

  do I say do I stay anonymous and say [TS]

  like I'm just I'm just a guy who's got [TS]

  some tricks for sale trying to clean up [TS]

  clean out my closet [TS]

  or do i do I come forth and say these [TS]

  are my shirts and risk that some creep [TS]

  is gonna buy them [TS]

  I i don't think the creeps at least your [TS]

  problems just like wallow with musk I i [TS]

  have two contradictory answers first of [TS]

  all if you are going to sell them on the [TS]

  internet it's got to be made clear that [TS]

  it's john roddick but my advice to you [TS]

  is to not will cut all this out you not [TS]

  sell it [TS]

  can I say three letters DNA somebody [TS]

  goes out and they buy a known John [TS]

  Roderick must shirt and there's going to [TS]

  be I know you're not a dangerous person [TS]

  but there's gonna have to be a little [TS]

  bit of dander unless you go into a [TS]

  full-on likes treatment type situation [TS]

  and comb it carefully and get help Mack [TS]

  there's gonna be a little bit of John on [TS]

  there now my washing machine has a Santa [TS]

  times setting [TS]

  what if i sanitized what the fuck does [TS]

  that mean it's not just hot institute [TS]

  some kind of dizzy sanitizing [TS]

  liquid-like never used it so one of [TS]

  these fancy washing machines and it has [TS]

  sanitized goodnight you should do an a/b [TS]

  test you should to rip your shirt in [TS]

  half sanitized and see what happens [TS]

  I'm thinking it might be a centrifuge [TS]

  that is that I can use to make some [TS]

  uranium 235 xbox 360 whatever it takes [TS]

  oh so many I like Darth of options [TS]