Roderick on the Line

Ep. 36: "Uncle Licky"

 

  low aye jaan i'm rolling haha all [TS]

  worthwhile button button i I'm fine [TS]

  without the button personally I think [TS]

  they get you get you get what you get [TS]

  you do that's right you get what you get [TS]

  how much you're paying for this podcast [TS]

  is what i would ask that point they said [TS]

  at that b'day circle at my daughter's [TS]

  school when they give up when your kid [TS]

  brings presents for everybody say you [TS]

  get what you get and don't be upset [TS]

  oh that's a nice added yeah it'sit's [TS]

  both useful and passive aggressive like [TS]

  so many reminds i would like to say that [TS]

  to all the 40 year olds I know who are [TS]

  like why aren't I ridge you get what you [TS]

  get don't be upset you get what you get [TS]

  boy you know John I that seems like that [TS]

  might find a place I don't want I don't [TS]

  want to try to you know circle [TS]

  circumnavigate your ethos but I could [TS]

  see that finding a place in your eat [TS]

  this / get what you get and don't be [TS]

  upset [TS]

  right there that's the way I just said [TS]

  it kind of takes on a I like the way you [TS]

  said it a little tougher right yeah when [TS]

  reno and teacher realization that you [TS]

  get what you get and don't be upset when [TS]

  you say well you get you get don't be [TS]

  upset [TS]

  that's right we get fatalism there's a [TS]

  little bit of like well yeah it's a nice [TS]

  mix of of your first obviously let me [TS]

  say you're being helpful right there's [TS]

  also there's a hint of resignation of [TS]

  I've been there I've gotten and I've [TS]

  been upset and I'm just telling you [TS]

  there's a little bit of farm wisdom to a [TS]

  to like shut up and I mean like what [TS]

  like shut up shut up the paint system a [TS]

  lot of farm system [TS]

  yeah shut up is the is basically if that [TS]

  is farm wisdom condensed 22 words shut [TS]

  up i was hoping to go to the dance this [TS]

  weekend can I plant the corn now shut up [TS]

  shut up no one who ever lived on a farm [TS]

  ever spoke that many words in one [TS]

  sentence i think a stern the farmers [TS]

  they are they have to be tested because [TS]

  the wind is whipping down the planes [TS]

  because there's they get up at dawn and [TS]

  they eat 12,000 calories of gravy [TS]

  biscuits [TS]

  there's no room in them for like [TS]

  chattiness yeah I mentioned once you get [TS]

  on that tractor here on one sheet for a [TS]

  lot of the time that's passed the turn [TS]

  well youyou yeah yeah yeah I mean to [TS]

  them hand signals or anything did that [TS]

  other times people [TS]

  well I mean obviously there's going to [TS]

  be people i don't so handsome this is [TS]

  obviously you can sometimes attracted [TS]

  takes a hand but but occasionally it [TS]

  seems like you would want to signal the [TS]

  people like pot it's time for chow for [TS]

  that last night / hate myself for that [TS]

  ok or i want to go to I want to go to [TS]

  the dance kind of plant the corn there's [TS]

  a bell for that Isabel for that [TS]

  yeah mark comes out on the porch and she [TS]

  rings that i want to go to the dance [TS]

  bail because it shut up but is there [TS]

  more than one Bell there's a whole [TS]

  panoply of bells monopoly now on a boat [TS]

  you have bells to tell what time it is [TS]

  right you got so many bells [TS]

  that's right ok and said I had a farm [TS]

  you have different tones of bells [TS]

  plastic Mandarin yet to ask different [TS]

  questions that's right it's a total [TS]

  length okay but and Paul I my sense of [TS]

  see now i'm speculating a lot of this [TS]

  because although my mom grew up on a [TS]

  farm i did not i guess that's close [TS]

  enough she's right you spot a lot of [TS]

  shut up that you know what if i may say [TS]

  she's never said shut up [TS]

  yeah but she's put that value to your [TS]

  home and she knows that she has said you [TS]

  go to get adobe website didn't want to [TS]

  be the one to say it that seems I think [TS]

  he can just say that you know what makes [TS]

  that effective as she never fucking [TS]

  needs to say it's the difference in the [TS]

  room like get my my sense from her is [TS]

  that her grandpa really never said [TS]

  anything he just he just communicated [TS]

  through the furrows his brow em in the [TS]

  furrows were frozen in his brow [TS]

  mimicking the furrows of the land [TS]

  deepest corn that he worked his life [TS]

  work this whole life by you get to be [TS]

  really full of shit when you're on a [TS]

  farm yeah well I think I mean look at [TS]

  the music of John Cougar Mellencamp it [TS]

  is the music of the full of shit side of [TS]

  having grown up on a farm [TS]

  it has anything to do with the the [TS]

  production that that when scotland does [TS]

  your record is that make you look [TS]

  foolish farmer no no offense no offense [TS]

  and scholars sky big Scotland is just [TS]

  bringing out their the intrinsic full [TS]

  fitness in his artists do additional [TS]

  thank you so much really [TS]

  having the reverb for my liking that was [TS]

  a style the river people you know I [TS]

  remember the first band I was in the guy [TS]

  said I don't want any reverb on this [TS]

  well I no reverb is is something we [TS]

  don't talk about anything that's in the [TS]

  phil collins pile but this does get us [TS]

  back to the village old problem i'm [TS]

  willing to open the gate [TS]

  the farm gate on Billy Joel because [TS]

  that's a certain kind of full of [TS]

  shittiness but on a farm it seems like [TS]

  you've earned it [TS]

  you lost you lost a hand you've had some [TS]

  very heavy meals you own a tractor and [TS]

  you don't talk much it seems you've [TS]

  learned that if you feel like a real [TS]

  talky guy with the least time fucking [TS]

  brandy snifter on your piano I'm not [TS]

  sure you're qualified to make sure [TS]

  whoever qualified to say shut up [TS]

  well then you're when you're discounting [TS]

  the ability of all the people who live [TS]

  in cities to say shut up and i don't [TS]

  think you can do that they just have a [TS]

  different shut up my gosh at apt anymore [TS]

  she a nap me but that's pretty flaccid [TS]

  compared to heard about the hard hard [TS]

  shut up of a man whose whose feeder in [TS]

  the earth like the roots of a tree while [TS]

  you you really do you wax and earth he [TS]

  called waxing bikini wax pretty poetic [TS]

  I've about this bullshit farm stuff [TS]

  well I mean the problem is that farmers [TS]

  frankly are the parts are always the [TS]

  problem in any culture this is what they [TS]

  say they say the single we think we've [TS]

  had this discussion just a little bit [TS]

  they say this the single worst thing to [TS]

  ever happen in Western civilization or [TS]

  otherwise agriculture it all starts with [TS]

  that all goes back to agriculture [TS]

  everything today always got the worst [TS]

  thing that could happen is agriculture [TS]

  yes yes and I'm not your imagine if we [TS]

  were still just living on what we found [TS]

  in the stomach contents of a squirrel [TS]

  that's a squirrel [TS]

  well you see the squirrel you know how [TS]

  big they are I don't mind a Paleolithic [TS]

  squirrel now a little squirrels are any [TS]

  bigger [TS]

  show me show me the natural history [TS]

  museum diorama about Paleolithic [TS]

  squirrel that's bigger than a cat like i [TS]

  said i'm not going to keep on like a [TS]

  search right now but you know what I'm [TS]

  gonna write that down find funding to [TS]

  join a squirrel do squirrels prehistoric [TS]

  squirrels were probably smaller not [TS]

  bigger than you might think that's an [TS]

  annotation we can expect the screws to [TS]

  keep getting bigger [TS]

  squirrels are getting bigger I yeah i [TS]

  think if you were out like with a [TS]

  blunderbuss [TS]

  homemade at fonarow and you're hunting [TS]

  squirrels and you found a squirrel and [TS]

  ate the stomach contents of ice role as [TS]

  you would have done to get grain that's [TS]

  all the agriculture we need these are [TS]

  not the kind of grain about their kind [TS]

  of nut squirrels eat all kinds of stuff [TS]

  is that right sir [TS]

  they know the small or large squirrels [TS]

  are they are there the bane of the [TS]

  farmer I'm just saying that before [TS]

  agriculture was invented we were [TS]

  probably just eating squirrel stomach [TS]

  contents to get our grains [TS]

  hmm and you know you probably make a [TS]

  halfway decent pancake out of what's [TS]

  inside a squirrel [TS]

  well yeah especially random with your [TS]

  pointer bus wagon I bet the farmers have [TS]

  a lot of excitement and blunderbusses [TS]

  blunders i pronounce it blunder by [TS]

  funded by the time we have those we also [TS]

  had agriculture agriculture can for [TS]

  tooling way too late that plan guessing [TS]

  that farmers I have a lot of existential [TS]

  Baines just one that captured so far [TS]

  you've got large or very small squirrels [TS]

  you've got children like to dance right [TS]

  you that talking and you've got the [TS]

  occasional maybe lack of a ballot what [TS]

  if the squirrel came and stole your [TS]

  fucking bail or the wrong tone of Bel [TS]

  what if somebody come some guy on an [TS]

  itinerant Bell salesman comes and sells [TS]

  your your farm wife a bell [TS]

  she starts to employ that day he warned [TS]

  her he warned her without saying saying [TS]

  so never spend money he want her with [TS]

  with his for us [TS]

  sure he did and then he's out on his [TS]

  tractor here's an unfamiliar bell and he [TS]

  thinks my wife is having sex with [TS]

  someone or you know it communicates like [TS]

  a thing that [TS]

  oh that stinks you know it is it's it's [TS]

  a rural perfect when you hear a [TS]

  different fucking Bell you know your [TS]

  wife has been jacking mean bonus [TS]

  somebody there's no question about in [TS]

  bone what a terrible phrase yeah and the [TS]

  thing is if it's the wrong Bell you [TS]

  might never come in because you're going [TS]

  to work from candle can't still can't [TS]

  Han Seok and the Bell doesn't ring or [TS]

  armless son isn't leaving you with his [TS]

  dance corn you're gonna you're going to [TS]

  stay on that fucking tractor and you may [TS]

  never get to pinch love you can just [TS]

  stay in the field and something hard [TS]

  life in the field now is that something [TS]

  you can do with your farmer know your [TS]

  shit-filled am so far more center field [TS]

  we are a philosophy podcast up a well as [TS]

  a Hobbesian it that but yes farmer shit [TS]

  and fields all the time if you'll notice [TS]

  most farms have windbreaks which are [TS]

  groupings of trees that are left to keep [TS]

  the wind from blowing the fields away [TS]

  this is why the the dustbowl happened [TS]

  because they tore down all their [TS]

  windbreaks because they were greedy [TS]

  greedy farmers was going to sell the [TS]

  brakes [TS]

  no they wanted to plow all the land [TS]

  planning on seeing bad farmers anyway [TS]

  the wind breaks are places where you [TS]

  dump your old model a car or you take a [TS]

  shit like an old bell or yeah you gotta [TS]

  break the idea that was that they were [TS]

  the bell you want to keep the bell as [TS]

  long as you can write you don't go bad i [TS]

  have bells that are super old man you [TS]

  sure about what about bell in [TS]

  philadelphia you can think that thing [TS]

  was a father said that said that thing [TS]

  back there are a lot of old bells but [TS]

  smaller than expected is less [TS]

  smaller-than-expected well you just have [TS]

  that American inflation ism your land [TS]

  it's the Liberty Bell is going to be [TS]

  huge it's going to be the size of me the [TS]

  like the world's biggest pumpkin but [TS]

  it's not typing sighs clean again it's [TS]

  like a normal super large pumpkin who [TS]

  Liberty i don't i don't want to work [TS]

  ping-pong John but i I just I at the [TS]

  farmers are not interested [TS]

  I've no interest in farms or farmers and [TS]

  setting aside that they literally ruin [TS]

  the entire Earth they are they have from [TS]

  farmers are inherently conservative and [TS]

  that's where you get nationalism boy and [TS]

  that's where he ran the two but that's [TS]

  quickly that the Nazis right i mean all [TS]

  starts with the far you're saying you're [TS]

  saying if I understand you correctly yes [TS]

  there is a basis in in in Roman culture [TS]

  and certainly in all variety of dramatic [TS]

  mythology but really it all comes down [TS]

  to attend agrarian sense of genocide is [TS]

  that what goes back to basically ok [TS]

  huh that's the kitchens come through and [TS]

  the rigging they're wrong sounding bells [TS]

  and and it just gets people mad and [TS]

  stuff we don't need asking us to talk [TS]

  right prosthetic hands lot of felt a lot [TS]

  of early Bell sellers [TS]

  were members of the tribe all there's no [TS]

  question about it [TS]

  I think it's all right there in [TS]

  Deuteronomy probably you know here's the [TS]

  thing I i we gonna be I know right haha [TS]

  you call that an attacker but um I yeah [TS]

  I think it really is or i'm sorry and i [TS]

  just ate so much hollandaise sauce it's [TS]

  early why are you eating hollandaise [TS]

  sauce for breakfast [TS]

  that's not a breakfast for me I could [TS]

  come back to farms away where you you [TS]

  were eating eggs benedict it was a kind [TS]

  of Benedict it was a lie it was a very [TS]

  of the hybrid kind of California [TS]

  Florentine it was yes it was eggs and [TS]

  yes those English muffin and everything [TS]

  else was just you know they don't know [TS]

  fuck all about making these things it [TS]

  was I had spinach spinach and eggs and [TS]

  hollandaise and I had a crap kick a crab [TS]

  cake crab cake in your your mother's day [TS]

  brunch [TS]

  shut up about got a menu is that i was i [TS]

  was in a hurry i need the thing is if I [TS]

  don't eat I get weird when you were in a [TS]

  hurry that that that milk would take two [TS]

  hours to prepare to be surprised i think [TS]

  they think the crab cakes might be flash [TS]

  frozen [TS]

  I don't know it's fresh crab cake was a [TS]

  trader joes mother-to-mother to get [TS]

  breakfast what the microwave yeah yeah [TS]

  update the club traitor moans unit [TS]

  operators and everything's got like a [TS]

  cute need a trader Jose where well you [TS]

  know the first time I ever had [TS]

  hollandaise sauce [TS]

  this is the thing back in the seventies [TS]

  the only time I saw Holliday sauce it [TS]

  was it was on steak can it was all I [TS]

  wanted this little one like that little [TS]

  metal pouring things [TS]

  yeah it's only recently that you see [TS]

  that the only place you see holiday [TS]

  saucisson english muffins and eggs using [TS]

  the inconsistent ecosystem is getting [TS]

  narrow around holidays to put it on now [TS]

  used to put on down the asparagus [TS]

  asparagus Eastern hollandaise sauce [TS]

  right i think yeah I think people are [TS]

  think people are starting to lose some [TS]

  of the traditional usages of hollandaise [TS]

  on that's a fucking that's a shame that [TS]

  is a real bed [TS]

  here's the thing i got power your lawn [TS]

  mower is that right is a renewable [TS]

  renewable resources now is it actually [TS]

  from Dutch [TS]

  so is the holidays in Holland i'm [TS]

  guessing it's some kind of a Dutch pond [TS]

  all owned a zoo [TS]

  this is Kate and well-liked agent farmer [TS]

  Cajun man describing where he got his [TS]

  sauce forget that sauce hollandaise [TS]

  yeah I don't have a catalog and I [TS]

  imagine me but what is in hollandaise [TS]

  sauce it's just it's just eggs and [TS]

  mayonnaise and whipped cream and pepper [TS]

  and I'm a man [TS]

  yeah so I mean that that's it's [TS]

  perfectly possible that it's got as I've [TS]

  intelligence research has been a long [TS]

  time since i made holidays I'm married [TS]

  now right [TS]

  so so what if we just take the meeting [TS]

  hall today this other bachelors do [TS]

  wow I mean my right now so I don't get [TS]

  into that holidays shopping somehow this [TS]

  might be a euphemism the rose from that [TS]

  but not think we hit it too hard but I i [TS]

  know its eggs it's for sure eggs right [TS]

  now because it's an oil and it's got a [TS]

  lemon and I think that tarragon I think [TS]

  you should be very circumspect to use it [TS]

  i'm not a farmer by any means [TS]

  tarragon and cilantro I mean I think Eve [TS]

  it really circumspect all those all [TS]

  those uh well certainly I would put [TS]

  cilantro and tarragon in the same family [TS]

  of how to be careful you don't think so [TS]

  i've memorized it's like to me it's like [TS]

  the smiths like they're just gonna be [TS]

  some people that don't like tarragon or [TS]

  don't like the the cilantro cilantro [TS]

  creeps up in a lot of surprising places [TS]

  today [TS]

  well tarragon is a thing where I think [TS]

  yeah it's like fish sauce you put in a [TS]

  little pinch of it and the food tastes [TS]

  better be put in anymore and the food [TS]

  just tastes like tarragon her exactly [TS]

  exactly and a little on tro mm I think [TS]

  you gotta leave it sparingly i would go [TS]

  I would go out of the crazy go nuts on [TS]

  msg long before I would ever dumped in a [TS]

  lot of tarragon up a little bit of [TS]

  tarragon and scrambled eggs not a lot is [TS]

  your love msg agree with tarragon butBut [TS]

  cilantros i think a different category [TS]

  tell me what you put some water on you [TS]

  have a taco [TS]

  yeah i only use cilantro on on like [TS]

  nouveau Mexican [TS]

  I'm not gonna throw cilantro in any [TS]

  other kind of food and if I if I show up [TS]

  in a restaurant and i order something i [TS]

  order eggs or something in the air [TS]

  cilantro wanted to i get right up and I [TS]

  walk into the kitchen and I grabbed the [TS]

  chef and I put his face down on a hot [TS]

  burner easy with that said let's face it [TS]

  you don't you fuck are you doing back [TS]

  here grab him by his stupid fucking so [TS]

  hockey pushes face into the plate and [TS]

  say what is this [TS]

  now what is this out what is this it's [TS]

  the cilantro cilantro what what are you [TS]

  doing [TS]

  I totally agree I'll boil the phony [TS]

  baloney stuff you know usually parsley [TS]

  that was I think that was the leading [TS]

  edge of this is when they first started [TS]

  putting that that crappy American [TS]

  parsley on the side of things most [TS]

  people still buy American parsley you [TS]

  can get Italian parsley anywhere people [TS]

  still buy American party like suckers my [TS]

  grind it up and use it as a while using [TS]

  it as my syringes ice cream huh [TS]

  it's a witch hazel it has all of all the [TS]

  all the shrinking properties by any of [TS]

  the drying properties is so handy [TS]

  sometimes it really got some witch hazel [TS]

  my bathrooms up was reading I was [TS]

  reading the witch hazel and it says on [TS]

  the back it has absolutely no [TS]

  application for how you're supposed to [TS]

  use it i think people just know how [TS]

  you're supposed to use witch hazel [TS]

  yeah and on the back it's got the [TS]

  original box time [TS]

  hmm it says it says apply something [TS]

  along the lines of applied directly [TS]

  affected area but then it says if the [TS]

  condition persists it doesn't it says [TS]

  nothing about the condition is but if [TS]

  the condition persists for more than two [TS]

  weeks seek medical treatment for more [TS]

  than two weeks right [TS]

  I just love the idea that is extremely [TS]

  specific no medical advice for condition [TS]

  that has not been named if if you have a [TS]

  crossbow bolt in your side but witch [TS]

  hazel on it for two weeks if it's still [TS]

  there ya go to a doctor she just put a [TS]

  picture of a middle-aged woman on them [TS]

  back winking and going you know what I [TS]

  do with hydrogen peroxide sometimes I [TS]

  idea i just poured in my bath [TS]

  I just port port right in the bathtub [TS]

  it's a font issues hydrogen peroxide [TS]

  yeah yeah i use it i use it as a [TS]

  mouthwash [TS]

  I pour it on my head sometimes when I [TS]

  when I when I have a [TS]

  with my scalp itches i'll use our [TS]

  hydrogen peroxide everywhere but it's [TS]

  how I i I'm having a brain fart here [TS]

  with hydrogen peroxide what's that was [TS]

  the main on label use for what why do [TS]

  people you by to clean a wound is that [TS]

  would scare ya [TS]

  ok hydrogen peroxide you portrayed on [TS]

  your heads that refreshing it is [TS]

  refreshing although I made the mistake [TS]

  one time you know i had an itchy head [TS]

  because I have a I have a condition [TS]

  where I'm allergic to myself I'm sorry [TS]

  yeah it's one of those things all that [TS]

  means specifically are things I don't [TS]

  talk about [TS]

  yeah but you know if I don't like what I [TS]

  don't think personally that a person [TS]

  should wash their hair much more than [TS]

  once a week that's my that's my phone [TS]

  what happens if you do that you have to [TS]

  wash it well and what has happened with [TS]

  me is that I am I am allergic to my own [TS]

  head oil and it gets my head starts to [TS]

  hurt my wrist my scalp my skin gets [TS]

  sensitive i don't want my hair you need [TS]

  some kind of some kind of cranial [TS]

  surfactant in order to not be allergic [TS]

  to yourself you might you might you [TS]

  might give yourself hives my hands get [TS]

  allergic to themselves sometimes I have [TS]

  you know it's it's selective outbreaks [TS]

  of self allergy so you can set your [TS]

  magically real i don't know buddy I [TS]

  think you might be a very very short [TS]

  Marquez story do you think that I could [TS]

  one day just to send directly to heaven [TS]

  I think you could fall out of heaven [TS]

  with enormous wings or quiet [TS]

  yeah that sounds fun discover ice but in [TS]

  any case I mordekaiser feeling out of [TS]

  Marquez references at this point you [TS]

  know I've got a I've got about 10,000 [TS]

  more but I'm not gonna use them [TS]

  I poor hydroperoxide on my head and it [TS]

  was like oh I got you know what kind of [TS]

  relieved the the relieved the the I mean [TS]

  it hurts a lot more at first but that's [TS]

  kind of a good feeling you know that I [TS]

  go that's good that's working [TS]

  yeah that's how you know it's working [TS]

  exactly but then I made the mistake of [TS]

  going to bed without having rinse the [TS]

  hydrogen peroxide out of my hair and [TS]

  when I woke up in the morning my hair is [TS]

  yellow this hydrogen peroxide will you [TS]

  what they used to dye your hair actually [TS]

  make ladies hair like blonde [TS]

  yeah exactly so all of a sudden there [TS]

  was and I was like oh it's the same [TS]

  stuff I knew that hydrogen peroxide what [TS]

  you used to dye her hair I just didn't [TS]

  know it was the same stuff you buy at [TS]

  the drugstore to put on your itchy scalp [TS]

  was it like straw-colored oh yeah how [TS]

  you like like butter popcorn [TS]

  no my hair is already light and it just [TS]

  lightened it more as a flattering [TS]

  ah well the I was embarrassed to be [TS]

  perceived as having died my hair [TS]

  sure and so although it was not I did [TS]

  not just like it was not unflattering I [TS]

  i also felt the need to over explain to [TS]

  people why my hair was a different color [TS]

  and as you can imagine ninety percent of [TS]

  the people that I ran into did not [TS]

  notice my hair was deformed yeah you got [TS]

  the the peroxide doth protest too much [TS]

  it sounds to me like you're real concern [TS]

  with you were maybe thinking of doing it [TS]

  again [TS]

  well exactly the once i had done it and [TS]

  saw how easy it was you know I think a [TS]

  lot of people if they put hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide right on the top of their head [TS]

  their hair turns purple or something you [TS]

  know you have to or they feel like they [TS]

  have to go to a salon and put the foil [TS]

  in your hair and first ladies with long [TS]

  fingernails and cost four hundred [TS]

  dollars when you get having a bluing [TS]

  agent because you don't want to write [TS]

  exactly i think something like with old [TS]

  ladies when your turn now ladies but you [TS]

  know older ladies when your hair turns [TS]

  gray but i guess the picture [TS]

  no no no I wasn't calling you an old [TS]

  lady was no I mean I'm sorry nearly dead [TS]

  women my grandmother who's dead cricket [TS]

  farm hookers you know I mean Bella Bella [TS]

  back [TS]

  Bell well mine that cow udders my [TS]

  grandmother we go in and she went to one [TS]

  of those places that was all nearly dead [TS]

  lady's getting their hair done and they [TS]

  put that stuff and I forget what it's [TS]

  called but it's all I remember that [TS]

  always wear gloves owner writer it's a [TS]

  it is it's in like I remember if the [TS]

  research it look like a like a takeout [TS]

  place mustard thing except was really [TS]

  like gray and they put it on with a [TS]

  spatula or a tongue depressor yeah i [TS]

  mean like yeah it's a term of art but [TS]

  yea spatula and then and in this foil [TS]

  and then [TS]

  that would make your hair and then [TS]

  sometimes you see blue-haired ladies [TS]

  right yeah that's pretty ping pong but [TS]

  that would make your hair is brassy I [TS]

  think the problem is brassiness [TS]

  craziness around your case i can see you [TS]

  have a very large head and i could see i [TS]

  could see that be really being [TS]

  head-turning that your head but other [TS]

  headsets he was it John Waters looks [TS]

  good with that yellow hair the [TS]

  brassiness is acquires is a quality that [TS]

  comes if you are taking really dark hair [TS]

  and dark trying to diet light but since [TS]

  i already have light here it was not [TS]

  brassy it looked very the the dollar [TS]

  ninety-eight bottle of hydrogen peroxide [TS]

  poured directly onto the head and then [TS]

  left left overnight created a kind of [TS]

  natural blonde pneus that was actually [TS]

  very I i have to say it was very [TS]

  appealing to me but i could not square [TS]

  it with my overall sense that dying your [TS]

  hair isn't it is a vanity that's [TS]

  intolerable and intolerable vanity [TS]

  really yeah so I walked around for the [TS]

  rest of that that's probably felt like a [TS]

  hypocrite [TS]

  yeah I have this great blonde hair and [TS]

  it caused me it probably cost me [TS]

  twenty-five cents of hydrogen peroxide [TS]

  to get it but after it grew out what is [TS]

  it still happens I go into the bathroom [TS]

  and look at the bottle of hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide there on the on the same can i [TS]

  go [TS]

  maybe I should just pour it all over my [TS]

  head and go to sleep and accidentally [TS]

  dyed my hair again and then I go no it's [TS]

  like satin bronze identity intolerant [TS]

  vanity [TS]

  ok we talked about this before you you [TS]

  just keep liquor and cartons of [TS]

  cigarettes around you so you probably [TS]

  got bath salts you just keep it there [TS]

  because it strengthens strengthens you [TS]

  to know it's there and you're not using [TS]

  it right you must stock up on hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide just to go fuck you peroxide [TS]

  shut up [TS]

  alright i do have hydrogen peroxide all [TS]

  over the house but it's because i use in [TS]

  a variety of applications Navy SEALs my [TS]

  dunno which are pouring it on my head [TS]

  and accidentally done my hair my friend [TS]

  Harry in college co-ed keep he had very [TS]

  long hair actually it's like being able [TS]

  to see me what you know his harem [TS]

  actually he was Dutch harm front-end [TS]

  renée's rapist and ready harem with two [TS]

  hours not him harm Franz Hendrick Hmong [TS]

  coerced [TS]

  yeah that's a hell of a name is looking [TS]

  over my name is duchess how he was super [TS]

  tall yet long hair he looks like a cool [TS]

  michael Stone [TS]

  and really long curly hair and i will [TS]

  stop pretty uncool in the eighties all I [TS]

  liked when he was nervous I liked him [TS]

  then that's my REM that's my eyes but I [TS]

  was being facetious part was the coolest [TS]

  thing in the world at that point shut up [TS]

  he was no no I'm trying to get my [TS]

  daughter not to say shut up and that I [TS]

  think that's going to be a catch phrase [TS]

  I think we're gonna start saying shut up [TS]

  because of this show but in a farm voice [TS]

  shut up you get what you get and don't [TS]

  be upset but but Harry taught me [TS]

  something that at first like so many [TS]

  other things that have become important [TS]

  in my life [TS]

  eventually I was resistant and he said [TS]

  here's the problem he says you go in [TS]

  there first of all about the cheapest [TS]

  shampoo you could get which I think at [TS]

  the time was like why train and that [TS]

  which now in retrospect sounds awful [TS]

  especially given the consistency by [TS]

  train [TS]

  yeah I had a girlfriend smell like Rain [TS]

  Man is that a euphemism for semen see [TS]

  that's again a little hard [TS]

  alright um sir literally literally [TS]

  understand now i got i got the [TS]

  hollandaise not yet now i'm getting at [TS]

  the holidays on the side [TS]

  I'm gonna send your photo this is a [TS]

  photo my hollandaise because even after [TS]

  i used a little bit of hollandaise on my [TS]

  eggs i think i have about two cups of [TS]

  hollandaise left in this thing [TS]

  let's get you got no mejor you went to a [TS]

  place like an airport and got some chili [TS]

  like that like not like a big she like a [TS]

  side chili like a sandwich and a chilly [TS]

  it's not the size of hollandaise you [TS]

  have that much holidays what in your [TS]

  fridge so you know your present don't [TS]

  take it outside one of my fucking house [TS]

  I don't want in the office is alright it [TS]

  it doesn't keep yeah well yeah and I [TS]

  don't like rocks i don't staring at me [TS]

  all day you told me that you had a [TS]

  couple holidays the red you could have [TS]

  put on your eggs and you left it off [TS]

  here's the thing i had probably two to [TS]

  six tablespoons of hollandaise sauce and [TS]

  now I'm not a I'm not a mathematician i [TS]

  think i had up to 16 6 tablespoons yeah [TS]

  yeah it's a range and it was felt like a [TS]

  lot of fucking holidays and still like [TS]

  barely put a dent in it and you know how [TS]

  it is i mean this is the part of America [TS]

  this is a problem with agriculture the [TS]

  large plate right America is a large [TS]

  plate and it feels like we have to fill [TS]

  the plate and this is what we knocked on [TS]

  our windbreaks right right yeah yeah [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  and so anyway I hear what Harry said was [TS]

  harm front Hendrick course he said your [TS]

  problem is you're like all these other [TS]

  suckers you wash your hair every day [TS]

  you know what happens when you wash your [TS]

  hair every day you have to wash your [TS]

  hair every day can i say carmex did you [TS]

  ever go through a carmax phase sure I [TS]

  good what happens you so hold this is [TS]

  nice [TS]

  this smells like vanilla you know you [TS]

  know comics is it's wax and aspirin [TS]

  did you know that no salas [TS]

  acetylsalicylic acid which is so fun to [TS]

  say [TS]

  acetylsalicylic acid and basically a [TS]

  waxy base and it smells like vanilla you [TS]

  put it on your lips and you know I [TS]

  screen for chapped lips because it's [TS]

  putting a spring directly on your cracks [TS]

  all right to start off nice and center [TS]

  acts also really fever blisters and cold [TS]

  sores can't break take that off the [TS]

  label is ridiculous [TS]

  does nothing for that do you know what [TS]

  the solution to thank you for blisters [TS]

  and colts were hopping etoys popping you [TS]

  got me on the popping now you go into it [TS]

  like a man [TS]

  popping and alcohol and then suck it up [TS]

  does it work [TS]

  sure yet works it hurts like a [TS]

  motherfucker but yea culture goes away [TS]

  get it done well you know my mom's my [TS]

  mom's philosophy about a fever blisters [TS]

  or stress bumps just about the sitcom [TS]

  india is that she takes a hot a [TS]

  hairdryer and she points the hairdryer [TS]

  writer lip until she can't stand it [TS]

  anymore and she can stand it for a [TS]

  really long time at yeah and then she [TS]

  takes a break and then she points the [TS]

  head writer face again she's got a [TS]

  pretty well defined schedule she [TS]

  probably will make time in that and how [TS]

  long we talking about 34 seconds as long [TS]

  as she can hold it until the burning [TS]

  look the hot air face burning you can't [TS]

  be can't take it everybody clock on it [TS]

  when she does that i don't know i don't [TS]

  want to watch it it's so you know when [TS]

  somebody is doctoring the stress bump [TS]

  that's your private time [TS]

  yeah yeah so she believes she believes [TS]

  that the hairdryers the solution i [TS]

  believe that the aggressive popping is [TS]

  the salute you taught me this now and [TS]

  this is going to be four people don't [TS]

  like coughing closer popping is probably [TS]

  i just want to say that there are people [TS]

  out there who suffer in silence then i [TS]

  would like I would like to just finish [TS]

  the thread on farms and hair and then i [TS]

  would like to do a deep dive on cold [TS]

  sores if that's okay with you [TS]

  that's fine i'm sure you haven't talked [TS]

  about cold sores is very uncomfortable [TS]

  for people [TS]

  well yeah that's because it's suffering [TS]

  in silence need to suffer loudly and [TS]

  then shut up suffering in silence [TS]

  because of the shame of socially [TS]

  communicated to them and see them [TS]

  this is the thing is there's there's [TS]

  different guy I don't I've got all i've [TS]

  got is the like my immune system socks [TS]

  kind i don't have Schenker's on my wenis [TS]

  contractors on the judging i'm not [TS]

  judging but I've gone out with people [TS]

  who had checkers on the weenus [TS]

  the growlygus yeah they're girl with [TS]

  long as it's not that time you know how [TS]

  did you know how when did you first get [TS]

  cold sores on your mouth high school and [TS]

  what happened how did they get [TS]

  communicated to you can like as in [TS]

  communicable or how did they make the [TS]

  right how did they express themselves [TS]

  don't know how did they how do they [TS]

  arrived upon you [TS]

  who was the transmitter at oh no you can [TS]

  see this is your problem cannot be gone [TS]

  into the amount of time we have you two [TS]

  got you a lot of fuckin problems John [TS]

  everything but herpes knowing different [TS]

  herpes of the kind that was in magazines [TS]

  in the eighties know but it is a kind of [TS]

  his herpes simplex one which is a [TS]

  different simplex but it is still looks [TS]

  a melanoma is a kind of cancer it really [TS]

  over States it but that doesn't [TS]

  overstate the the fact that it is a [TS]

  thing which is communicated from one [TS]

  person to another but you get mad at cat [TS]

  when you got hurt when you when you have [TS]

  your first her piece when you had your [TS]

  SAS or she's back in the seventies or [TS]

  whatever you are a nice cool it didn't [TS]

  just take downs that what that she [TS]

  didn't get it off of a treat and get [TS]

  from licking a light pole [TS]

  you got it because you kissed somebody [TS]

  or drink out of addresses Les Ferdinand [TS]

  is John this is like this is like you're [TS]

  giving me some kind of like you give me [TS]

  some kind of interrogation on how i got [TS]

  a cold [TS]

  yeah not getting a cold sore did you [TS]

  kiss a bad girl kiss out of that girls [TS]

  are there so many more that i wanted to [TS]

  kiss out Donald hall drink milk out of a [TS]

  milk carton that a bad girl had had to [TS]

  have one just met a moment with you and [TS]

  I'm not cutting this out [TS]

  do you want to go directly into your [TS]

  herpes talk or can I finish up forms in [TS]

  here because okay you know what I'm [TS]

  gonna finish up their mind never mind i [TS]

  canno i'll talk about by blonde hair all [TS]

  the time [TS]

  okay first of all just to get out of the [TS]

  way farming is bullshit second Harry [TS]

  says that last with carmax you start [TS]

  doing too much and needed what I say [TS]

  this because John Roderick what is it [TS]

  that you have to teach us [TS]

  well one of the many things you have to [TS]

  teach us is you gotta be careful because [TS]

  during says it's pretty starts out [TS]

  simple and if you do a few bumps of bath [TS]

  salts [TS]

  death and wash it down with a [TS]

  boilermaker and then pretty soon you're [TS]

  doing that a lot [TS]

  mmm isn't that kind of is this something [TS]

  that turns out your it's not inspiring [TS]

  you to meet a student digital read about [TS]

  that the face-eating see I'm not follow [TS]

  the path you you taught me about as [TS]

  often now it's everywhere ever since the [TS]

  case either guy was just on the [TS]

  marijuana he had never had a pass to get [TS]

  the munchies [TS]

  yeah that's it [TS]

  that could have been carrying hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide with him everything could have [TS]

  been different he had some other things [TS]

  really eat his face or did he just liked [TS]

  by them on the nose or something i [TS]

  didn't really like you is amazing off [TS]

  I don't think that's a pot thing that [TS]

  doesn't like having the CIA would plant [TS]

  you know I've smoked a lot of marijuana [TS]

  yeah and I haven't yet whatever why I'm [TS]

  heart you can't be in the CIA [TS]

  that's right that is exactly why you [TS]

  don't want to get that close to somebody [TS]

  you want to get a pot add CIA guy if [TS]

  you're gonna do a plant for a story like [TS]

  that it's gonna have to be more credible [TS]

  than that i'm sorry guy on offer and [TS]

  smoke and party somebody's face I don't [TS]

  think so [TS]

  that's right i think i bet some somebody [TS]

  like you know what's great story it [TS]

  doesn't even make any sense so many [TS]

  helicopter shot a dart at him the whole [TS]

  that was full of some secret new mind [TS]

  control device and it caused him to go [TS]

  crazy take his clothes off and eat some [TS]

  homeless man's face [TS]

  that's it has nothing at all to do you [TS]

  like he's homeless [TS]

  the guy whose face got even one sample [TS]

  ok alright um I & M here's the thing [TS]

  Paul Island I'm really glad that you're [TS]

  buying any veterans bongos and and Jimi [TS]

  Hendrix's cup but in my work Paul Allen [TS]

  and I'm so glad that i'm not i would [TS]

  take some of those ample resources he's [TS]

  got some of that yacht money and I like [TS]

  this thread you were addressing him [TS]

  directly as though he were a listener of [TS]

  the spot for those people who google [TS]

  something land on a page and starts [TS]

  talking like that person is there a paul [TS]

  allen listen when you just happened but [TS]

  is actually happens i'm pretty pissed at [TS]

  this point that happens a lot on the [TS]

  Internet where somebody will mention [TS]

  Oprah on a web page and then the common [TS]

  people will go up ride that gets really [TS]

  disappointing that you ended your show [TS]

  oh my god is that helps it helps you [TS]

  understand so many things so much better [TS]

  when you understand that people actually [TS]

  think they're talking to James Dean on a [TS]

  webpage [TS]

  you are such a great actor who come back [TS]

  from the dead you think you'll never [TS]

  make suddenly last summer to I I i think [TS]

  i think farmer I think farming is [TS]

  bullshit [TS]

  yeah I think you should wash your hair [TS]

  too much because then it gets like [TS]

  CarMax and you gotta do it all the time [TS]

  but i think the bath salts thing sounds [TS]

  like that sounds like some kind of a [TS]

  where they call that a mock-up a mash-up [TS]

  asset on the where they call it starts [TS]

  to set up a setup was the word for that [TS]

  a mash-up horse up and my horse up about [TS]

  a fight and now the thing is this is [TS]

  something that you also think somehow [TS]

  that cold sores are just looking like a [TS]

  cold if you think it's a cold but you [TS]

  get because somebody sneezes on you in a [TS]

  supermarket [TS]

  this may be our sound of music moments [TS]

  on this may be the moment when we sing [TS]

  Edelweiss and walk off the stage i'm [TS]

  just about fucking done with you i know [TS]

  i was very uncool just like old sword it [TS]

  doesn't have to be from a dirty girl [TS]

  this is why people don't talk about cold [TS]

  sores because anywhere you were all mr. [TS]

  like let's talk about him let him know [TS]

  that he's the best-looking look look [TS]

  it's on two cards [TS]

  let's get him out of the closet and then [TS]

  I start talking about here like wow now [TS]

  back in the closet question yes i know [TS]

  we can't talk about this yet because [TS]

  it's not a thing but will you know what [TS]

  i'm talking about if I refer to the [TS]

  thing the thing that we're doing [TS]

  yes ok i went and did some research on [TS]

  the thing do you think the paul allen [TS]

  will be at the thing probably not i can [TS]

  reach but where we could potentially [TS]

  reach influencers like pilot very close [TS]

  to Paul well okay here's the thing you [TS]

  got the United England you know that [TS]

  phony baloney system of government over [TS]

  there it's like a Russian waters makes [TS]

  no fucking sense now we have a queen but [TS]

  then we vote to okay fine she has no [TS]

  power but she has a lot of money going [TS]

  to vote people into the tower of london [TS]

  yeah exchequer what the fuck is an ex [TS]

  checker it's a term account it's made up [TS]

  an excuse to get a comptroller okay so [TS]

  here's the thing you think that you got [TS]

  that you've got the cabinet and you get [TS]

  the shadow cabinet [TS]

  ok so now i don't know what that means [TS]

  but I think we need a shadow CIA I think [TS]

  you could identify the way I'm sorry I'm [TS]

  saying any of this because as you know [TS]

  we're probably gonna have all kinds of [TS]

  problems down because a shadow CIA h [TS]

  can we go ahead ok NSA the NSA is a [TS]

  shadow CIA [TS]

  oh they're like the Deep Web the dark [TS]

  the black lab where they cost sorry tink [TS]

  ya what do you wanna do we have [TS]

  something to talk about is it the second [TS]

  internet the dark web [TS]

  I don't ever talk about the dark web [TS]

  although i think about the dark left I [TS]

  never say it out loud and then I'm going [TS]

  I'm going to a public library in [TS]

  different town and doing a lot of [TS]

  googling and you don't know what day [TS]

  it's not me it's not my IP address John [TS]

  on trying to say is this but yeah I [TS]

  don't want to fucking busted guide but [TS]

  if it breaks my heart that you're not in [TS]

  the CIA not just because I know it meant [TS]

  a lot to you i meant a lot to you could [TS]

  have you could have been a seal if you [TS]

  learn to swim [TS]

  you could have been in black ops if [TS]

  you're black you could rub it in the CIA [TS]

  if you hadn't smoked all that weed and [TS]

  had all those drugs and harm all of [TS]

  those people and I think it's a goddamn [TS]

  shame that you're not out there if [TS]

  you're going to do one of these mashups [TS]

  where you actually make somebody looking [TS]

  face got eaten by somebody on the weed [TS]

  and you could make that looks so much [TS]

  better you might not even need a dark [TS]

  and I don't know my question to you John [TS]

  Rother what the fuck is paul allen out [TS]

  there buying yachts and helicopters when [TS]

  he could have a shadow shadow shadow CIA [TS]

  that you essentially running but you [TS]

  would admit hear your answer [TS]

  I wish to God that he was listening [TS]

  because i have it all i have it all [TS]

  written out i have the whole thing what [TS]

  I don't know is it written in urine or [TS]

  lemon juice it's all written in my mind [TS]

  writing but if fall allan Apollo wants a [TS]

  private security service that is going [TS]

  around you you know you think that's [TS]

  like Pinkerton i'm talking about [TS]

  something much your tires are you [TS]

  talking so much deeper right now i'm [TS]

  talking about something deeper to but i [TS]

  have two encoded in certain language for [TS]

  instance somebody chastise me the other [TS]

  day for constantly referring on this [TS]

  program two CIA agents who and they said [TS]

  an agent is a subway the field that has [TS]

  been that has been turned into an asset [TS]

  by a field operative for hire case [TS]

  officer and I had to say that's just the [TS]

  kind of horse shit you'd expect to hear [TS]

  from a fucking CIA agent i had to have [TS]

  to say this person i know that [TS]

  but i am doing I'm doing a podcast that [TS]

  has lots of different listeners some of [TS]

  them girls some of them people who have [TS]

  not read every Spy book and so CIA agent [TS]

  is the common parlance who for someone [TS]

  in a trench coat and a and a fedora [TS]

  lurking under of a phone pole but [TS]

  lurking under a light pole on a dark [TS]

  street on the radio and thick white [TS]

  fedora and if I start talking about case [TS]

  officers it's night sounds like [TS]

  something somebody hitting a kid [TS]

  yeah case officer is a guy sitting at a [TS]

  desk with a with a comb-over and he's [TS]

  monitoring his assets that's not what [TS]

  we're trying to get it's not the yeah [TS]

  everytime case officer sounds like [TS]

  somebody you would have had to see a lot [TS]

  throughout your use case officer is [TS]

  somebody I had to submit signed pink [TS]

  slips to every monday morning [TS]

  really i don't want to revisit that [TS]

  could involve who sent you there [TS]

  oh my god careful you're so good how do [TS]

  you remember cool i'll never forget [TS]

  careful you never know mr. fenell yes of [TS]

  course I do [TS]

  ok mr. Cooper yes did we should just for [TS]

  that I'm sorry to derail you we should [TS]

  have just if we're not if when we do [TS]

  Hitler and stuff we should have a panel [TS]

  up with all these people want if i could [TS]

  find mr. Finelli still hold on together [TS]

  it's like I'm in a little pay for it but [TS]

  uses is he realized his tennis racket [TS]

  with the two two-and-a-half pound [TS]

  barbell on either side but in any case [TS]

  to listeners out there who are who are [TS]

  checking off boxes at home [TS]

  yes I know the difference between a case [TS]

  officer an agent and also my secret [TS]

  intelligence service that I'm running in [TS]

  conjunction with Paul Allen's I [TS]

  deliberately using the wrong words to [TS]

  describe it so that it throws you off [TS]

  the scent of our trail that's good in [TS]

  there in the Straits of Malacca on the [TS]

  octopus but turning wouldn't call that [TS]

  we call that is it was that you calling [TS]

  a red herring what would you call that [TS]

  red herring yeah we're hearing a real [TS]

  terms that in itself a canary trap [TS]

  no I think red herring is a real [TS]

  turbulent Rapids area represents a real [TS]

  1400 you know the canary trap is no [TS]

  super into canary traps [TS]

  what's a community trap canary trap one [TS]

  because you wanna find out who was [TS]

  singing used to do variations in [TS]

  Hollywood they really do this at apple [TS]

  so let's say for example your [TS]

  something's coming that somebody's feels [TS]

  an iphone off a bar went how God this [TS]

  and here's the kind of thing that like [TS]

  at Apple like it's totally everybody [TS]

  there sergeant schultz right now I don't [TS]

  even want to know what I don't know I [TS]

  don't know I just I I don't even know if [TS]

  I'm in a building the media check i [TS]

  don't know why I'm talking shots good [TS]

  that's a great company you know they're [TS]

  all rich all those people rich thousands [TS]

  with ya and not sink its but it's true [TS]

  here's the thing though when you get to [TS]

  the point where you are getting I mean [TS]

  I'm talking someone out of my ass cuz no [TS]

  one actually knows what happens at apple [TS]

  right all right because it's because I [TS]

  like a second order to Maxwell Smart [TS]

  doors [TS]

  iíve spoken there and if they're good [TS]

  but when i visited there it's been a [TS]

  very very public area you don't go [TS]

  anywhere near the black ops areas [TS]

  there's buildings there [TS]

  well as building five or something that [TS]

  matter anyway here's the thing just [TS]

  speaking the abstract interface program [TS]

  there i'm sorry it's not too much going [TS]

  on home perm marker their space program [TS]

  to cut that out ok so I'm here's the [TS]

  thing you got company right and there is [TS]

  like a thing that you've actually got to [TS]

  do maybe two associates probably a [TS]

  product release and so what you do is [TS]

  you circulate to everybody inside the [TS]

  company you say okay everybody here's [TS]

  the blue copy like everybody look at [TS]

  this look it over [TS]

  this is going to be like the press [TS]

  release or what-have-you like everybody [TS]

  check it out right but by no means [TS]

  should obviously as with everything here [TS]

  this must never be leaked so what [TS]

  happens because we self-destruct right [TS]

  and so it when it does get later that's [TS]

  a red herring [TS]

  no it's not a very trap is a canary trap [TS]

  goes out every single one of those has a [TS]

  word it's a little bit different on [TS]

  every page [TS]

  who yep it's you know like the watermark [TS]

  the dvds now for that for the movies and [TS]

  stuff and so you can find out pretty [TS]

  easily through eight nearly [TS]

  imperceptible difference here's the [TS]

  thing this guy's we're not going to [TS]

  compare notes don't have a way of my own [TS]

  terrifying everybody terrified the [TS]

  Gestapo storm exactly right so in that [TS]

  instance right you are you you're [TS]

  certainly not going to compare notes [TS]

  with people why would you what what what [TS]

  what you know [TS]

  a sudden you're you're you're back in [TS]

  Oceania you know what I'm saying her [TS]

  canary trap is not a great idea [TS]

  there's a great idea if you live in a [TS]

  totally paranoid culture it's not [TS]

  knowing how is it how is it to work for [TS]

  you in your shadow shadow shall work for [TS]

  two hours at work for me i'm a great [TS]

  shadow boss [TS]

  really you think you're pretty good like [TS]

  a maternity leave and that kind of thing [TS]

  all that stuff it's me paul allen is is [TS]

  great on that and this is a subset of [TS]

  his company since we have the same [TS]

  length HR policies [TS]

  let's get overall paul allen [TS]

  organization has ok alright so it's like [TS]

  a title a title stake here and stuff [TS]

  wow that's awesome that's awesome now [TS]

  and now I'll cut this part out for [TS]

  broadcast but he's goofy right all our [TS]

  yeah when you do that stuff like [TS]

  orthogonal related to what he does and [TS]

  he's still involved with that goofy [TS]

  museum he made the museum because he's [TS]

  not super involved in day-to-day [TS]

  activities that it's not a question of [TS]

  him not being involved with the question [TS]

  of he made this museum and then he was [TS]

  kind of like kexp he gave them a bunch [TS]

  of money and equipped with funding and [TS]

  there are many said alright sink or swim [TS]

  uh-huh and can be I've told you the [TS]

  story about EMP at one point in the in [TS]

  the 90s early 2000s they have like 800 [TS]

  employees here there were people [TS]

  dedicated just to just identify any [TS]

  veterans bondage just to cataloging any [TS]

  veterans bongos that they've already [TS]

  bought and then at a certain point I was [TS]

  like oh sink or swim you guys can't [TS]

  survive this way and then they fired 690 [TS]

  of the 800 employees must got you don't [TS]

  think he described want to connect be [TS]

  misremembering this but I think he [TS]

  described it as being a little bit like [TS]

  rosebud like Charles Foster Kane they [TS]

  had creates the stuff they hadn't even [TS]

  opened [TS]

  well that's still true there are their [TS]

  warehouses in seattle where there there [TS]

  are incredible [TS]

  well let me play strike that lets if you [TS]

  believe that grunge was important and [TS]

  that that that that style of music was [TS]

  good now you let the grunge even [TS]

  actually was a genre if you believe that [TS]

  in 25 years later there is my man [TS]

  that anything in common other than fuzz [TS]

  pedal if you believe anything about the [TS]

  Seattle music scene in the nineties the [TS]

  other than that Nirvana was came out of [TS]

  it a couple of the rec center there are [TS]

  warehouses full of people's old tennis [TS]

  shoes and like drum diapers or whatever [TS]

  drivers where shelves in China called [TS]

  pull-ups Jason Finn sweat vials all this [TS]

  stuff it's just that they bought for the [TS]

  baby [TS]

  about four dollars on the penny just [TS]

  filling acres and acres and acres of [TS]

  wearing a sly smile with dental he said [TS]

  he had some with them it's like God [TS]

  2,000 bucks they're like sold [TS]

  I mean seriously they bought they tried [TS]

  to buy everything so they don't they [TS]

  don't even know what they've got they [TS]

  can have you got a big they got a big [TS]

  van cise crate they're going we don't [TS]

  this could be tad this could be my [TS]

  honey's van this they don't know they [TS]

  don't know they don't care because they [TS]

  started buying that stuff in the late [TS]

  nineties when people were still [TS]

  convinced that seattle in the early [TS]

  nineties was like San Francisco in the [TS]

  sixties ever overrated and one day it's [TS]

  going to be historical and everyone is [TS]

  going to care about you know about the [TS]

  green apple quickstep and what doesn't [TS]

  what the fuck did you have a stroke what [TS]

  is that green arrow pick snapple [TS]

  quickstep was abandoned six-man know it [TS]

  was such an excuse for a name like that [TS]

  those kids used to walk around Seattle [TS]

  where I swear to you [TS]

  feather boas in the middle of the day [TS]

  walking around with those big white coat [TS]

  and sunglasses and festivals and we [TS]

  figure they'll polish and they were like [TS]

  where we're going to be the next Rolling [TS]

  Stones it was like you're not even going [TS]

  to be the next still pull bathtub get [TS]

  out of here and now the water you're not [TS]

  going to be the last murder city devils [TS]

  about the one kid I see him all the time [TS]

  he's still out here how these guys look [TS]

  very very silly [TS]

  yeah well that was the time so it's even [TS]

  got a lot of your hands and bongos [TS]

  yeah if you believe in Seattle the thing [TS]

  is in if you could go back to 1967 and [TS]

  buy all of grace licks [TS]

  drum underwear or whatever it is that [TS]

  people you know if you go back to the [TS]

  sixties and by jimi hendrix's being [TS]

  broken bell-bottoms don't buy those [TS]

  because now maybe you can see that [TS]

  you're a great boss and now you could [TS]

  take those two one of those dan Aykroyd [TS]

  rock-and-roll a hamburger places and put [TS]

  them up on the fall in a glass case and [TS]

  sell them for a million billion dollars [TS]

  you know you may be the first person i [TS]

  can't keep up with my god [TS]

  so when the data criticize this you know [TS]

  what god damned cold sores fuck tonight [TS]

  but you're a great boss but you're just [TS]

  totally self funded at this point can [TS]

  you can't really say I'm not at liberty [TS]

  to say your location makes very general [TS]

  questions okay alright so for example I [TS]

  don't have an office but obviously you [TS]

  have some kind of a work environment i [TS]

  guess that might be some kind of a [TS]

  Helicarrier i'm staying in my work [TS]

  environment now and I'm wrapped in a [TS]

  sheet like like like like my forefathers [TS]

  expensive your modesty like my farmer [TS]

  for the weekend nicely around closing [TS]

  sheet they didn't have sheets they had [TS]

  that they had woven corn blankets so no [TS]

  I am wrapped in a sheet because i'm [TS]

  always trying to find the right amount [TS]

  of comfortably unclothed but I couldn't [TS]

  do the podcast to do my work be [TS]

  unclothed but also be comfortable with [TS]

  nudity seem disrespectful or you leave a [TS]

  stain it does seem disrespectful I don't [TS]

  want to be doing the podcast room where [TS]

  I'm just sitting here in the altogether [TS]

  yeah i'm i'm i'm fully clothed but my [TS]

  pants are filthy [TS]

  well i'm sitting in a leather chair so [TS]

  if you sit for an hour and a half and a [TS]

  leather chair with no pants on the [TS]

  proposed it's you yeah to you know six [TS]

  months later you're gonna have piglets e [TS]

  ok so i guess i'm guessing the work [TS]

  environment you have you know you i'm [TS]

  guessing it's like hot and cold water [TS]

  you know when turning on and off you've [TS]

  been very selective in your hiring [TS]

  imagine there's a certain sense of humor [TS]

  but you also know when to be serious [TS]

  right [TS]

  ok so well you know what I don't think [TS]

  they can tell by my look they tell by [TS]

  the glance of you ever say anything you [TS]

  don't say anything to get what youre [TS]

  don't be upset [TS]

  that's right i look over and then they [TS]

  go back to work [TS]

  you know what they've done fucking [TS]

  farmers you know and all this bullshit [TS]

  about about family farms [TS]

  well yeah but i mean the the family is [TS]

  really really really rich and they've [TS]

  probably never even seen the farm [TS]

  yeah and the subsidies you get subsidies [TS]

  tonight not greedy kill chickens for a [TS]

  year and get 50 million dollars while [TS]

  you're telling me family farms call me [TS]

  young give me a fucking break give [TS]

  Merlin are fucking break [TS]

  when's the last time you had a good [TS]

  peach be honest you know what I'm not a [TS]

  super big peach eater tomato lettuce [TS]

  tomato and I don't like tomatoes was [TS]

  last minute steak see it probably comes [TS]

  from a farm you know where you know what [TS]

  you know where was we were in [TS]

  Minneapolis was registration this is [TS]

  your third minneapolis story i was in [TS]

  Minneapolis and we went to one of those [TS]

  brazilian steak restaurants like John [TS]

  and I went to Jason had sorts takes they [TS]

  come out with the stakes on the swords [TS]

  and they just feed you stake until you [TS]

  are quick to you are insane with steak [TS]

  until you have an added insane amount of [TS]

  steak and it was very good i don't speak [TS]

  for Jason but i think i think i may have [TS]

  changed his game that night I think my [TS]

  engines your big change [TS]

  okay and he had some good notes on you [TS]

  boy all its entirety [TS]

  oh yeah yeah he doesn't know anything [TS]

  about me when he knows enough about you [TS]

  to give me give me some good nobody's [TS]

  making it up he just thinks he knows [TS]

  about because he sees me around all [TS]

  right up all right i'll save it for the [TS]

  after dark [TS]

  he sees me around and he's like oh yeah [TS]

  I know Gotye and then don't let or don't [TS]

  pull out the easy one if you know what I [TS]

  mean what i'm saying what i'm saying is [TS]

  get insight that he secretly works for [TS]

  you [TS]

  hi plausible deniability you just got me [TS]

  a canary trapped in you you know what [TS]

  say nothing [TS]

  shut up no not that not that shut up i [TS]

  mean the catchphrase shut up you know [TS]

  where cold sores come from [TS]

  here's the thing i used to baby them [TS]

  okay so here's the history of cold sores [TS]

  yeah now we're out what time the first [TS]

  time I came with your toilet seat sooo [TS]

  Donna are you are you on [TS]

  is it a positive excipient wsr BMW of [TS]

  North yeah sounds like a root beer [TS]

  pnw is they stress ball [TS]

  that's a spelling is at bellingham ease [TS]

  the stress box stress pumps is a joke [TS]

  because I the these so many people have [TS]

  herpes the guitar player of harvey [TS]

  danger i used to get cold sores Jeff [TS]

  what what we would Jeff what we would [TS]

  call cold stones but Jeff again because [TS]

  of the shame of the socially [TS]

  communicated aspect of cold sores to [TS]

  Jeff did not want to be getting cold [TS]

  sores like so many people he did not [TS]

  want to have cultures now he had them [TS]

  but he did not want to have them yeah [TS]

  and so he would he would call them [TS]

  stress bumps [TS]

  he said I man because the stress so [TS]

  sweet and we would say you mean cold [TS]

  sore and he said no no it's not a cold [TS]

  sore [TS]

  it's a stretch but get them when I'm [TS]

  stressed would say yes that's not that's [TS]

  not an accurate that is when i get into [TS]

  is what I'm not sleeping enough [TS]

  definitely not sleeping enough because [TS]

  your immune system goes down [TS]

  yeah and then be the that the negative [TS]

  energy that you got from kissing toilet [TS]

  seats or bad girls shit comes out in the [TS]

  form of the giant posture ler throbbin [TS]

  beacon to other people that you are [TS]

  unclean unsafe [TS]

  it's a warning sign it's a warning sign [TS]

  that says do not kiss this person do not [TS]

  fall in love with this person they are [TS]

  hideous [TS]

  they have been places you don't want to [TS]

  know about I think I just figured it out [TS]

  I just free i think what you're saying [TS]

  to me is I got what I got but then I got [TS]

  up spot but you're saying I should not [TS]

  be upset right you got upside because [TS]

  you got what you got [TS]

  you know what there's a lesson even in [TS]

  the things you're so very wrong about [TS]

  there's always a lesson to be cleaned [TS]

  well you know cleaning is cleaning is [TS]

  when you go through after you got all [TS]

  the big corn you go back and get small [TS]

  corn you know clearly you know what [TS]

  clicking is I can get caught sneaking I [TS]

  cannot click but my daughter can Gleek [TS]

  up on accidentally or on purpose too [TS]

  young to click on purpose [TS]

  I don't dig so there she's too young to [TS]

  click on purpose okay thank you [TS]

  I and here's the thing it started out to [TS]

  him to it started out when i was a child [TS]

  yes I'd like its any toilet seats or a [TS]

  girl named donna but [TS]

  are you are you are you like in my day [TS]

  in court at any point [TS]

  are you saying that girl's name Donna [TS]

  are fast [TS]

  well it doesn't mean if they're not [TS]

  they're missing the best bed because I [TS]

  don't you clean your destiny [TS]

  I don't listen are fast i was no [TS]

  question is this a common thing to do [TS]

  people think girls that I have a [TS]

  relative named Donna attacking the name [TS]

  Donna Donna right it's actually faster [TS]

  girl's name [TS]

  okay let me ask you this and I mean this [TS]

  is that I don't mean to make this a bit [TS]

  but like if you name a kid fucking [TS]

  Jeeves like what would not believe how [TS]

  fucking you should call you can't cheat [TS]

  so cheesy like well what are they going [TS]

  to be they're gonna be in the service [TS]

  industry it's just CEO name Jeeves know [TS]

  right right okay I'm with Babs come your [TS]

  basket and that means it's gonna be a [TS]

  gay know Babs coming was Richie Rich's a [TS]

  bass come at baskin sir are in or [TS]

  episode that I now this is what you [TS]

  should have to say anything now you just [TS]

  make the sound it's hilarious and me on [TS]

  this is why you should never date a [TS]

  woman with a waitress named Anastasia [TS]

  also what interests me yeah that fucking [TS]

  fast waitress she's a very fast weight [TS]

  room you might as well instead of skip [TS]

  school just drop into Danny's she's a [TS]

  she's a waitress but she has a tear in [TS]

  her pantyhose [TS]

  yes the inside of her funds not afraid [TS]

  to bring you a grand slam [TS]

  oh darling don't know what are we gonna [TS]

  do thing up for Donna what we're going [TS]

  to do when it turns out somebody's [TS]

  listening to this podcast her name is [TS]

  Donna and she's like a really nice chase [TS]

  girl I guess have intercourse with her [TS]

  turn her out without just and give us a [TS]

  particular take your main stick and give [TS]

  her a giver stress for Donna how did you [TS]

  get out you stay stress but now we have [TS]

  a shrill voice or which should be [TS]

  smoking so much if you know what I mean [TS]

  a hoarse voice Tracy's get course it's [TS]

  got a Russian got our lady hoarse voice [TS]

  it does whole brother right [TS]

  gonna need Paul Island to get us out of [TS]

  this one it all started when I was a [TS]

  child and other fast girl names [TS]

  oh the festival aims let me think about [TS]

  it here summary you know I don't want [TS]

  some of the obvious ones like you can do [TS]

  whatever you want to fast like Donna or [TS]

  in a clinic or seat intercourse e720 [TS]

  made 40 don't give your daughter Corsi [TS]

  yeah but like you know this is joe key [TS]

  names like Hortense like there are [TS]

  actually women named hortons scullery [TS]

  maids oh god why do you say that [TS]

  oh and if you wanna hear my clothes or [TS]

  do you want to do that's what do I talk [TS]

  about I don't happy heart about fast [TS]

  girls down or we could develop a whole [TS]

  taxonomy these things that can help a [TS]

  lot of young people men and women [TS]

  listening to you talk about your cold [TS]

  sores and talking about fast girls I [TS]

  have a sense that those two roads are [TS]

  going to converge to roads converge to a [TS]

  yellow wood yeah and that means almost [TS]

  smell the fresh bumps then i traveled [TS]

  but can I saw fucking bird in a tree [TS]

  I next with the toilet seat journey was [TS]

  playing of course was of course that you [TS]

  shared use you hotbox the cigarette with [TS]

  some girl behind the bible reading plan [TS]

  you can get a stress month from [TS]

  hotboxing I don't know see this is the [TS]

  thing you you are at the heart of it a [TS]

  scientist a rationalist your man of [TS]

  reason you're Hobbesian whatever the [TS]

  fuck that means i think that means you [TS]

  like eating people and I mean then you [TS]

  have yeah it started when I was a child [TS]

  I always get what was then referred to [TS]

  as fever blisters that will also start [TS]

  off with a lot of God waitress names you [TS]

  gotta look out for [TS]

  so there was an Osama uncle licked you [TS]

  when you were a little kid you're okay [TS]

  oh my god it's not going back to me was [TS]

  Uncle it will go ahead of course the [TS]

  evad3rs local intercourse see have you [TS]

  had your stress buster whole life and [TS]

  you're justyou blotted out you think [TS]

  it's some neck every time it went away [TS]

  he come back and the canary trap and [TS]

  give me a 91 your folks were in the [TS]

  other room drinking gin martinis and [TS]

  uncle lucky isn't it [TS]

  bassinet I say why he was a shout out in [TS]

  the cold sores you get what you get and [TS]

  tell you about that [TS]

  click click click volts or cold sore [TS]

  it started when I was a child and I [TS]

  would give always been referred to as [TS]

  fever blisters and and this is like when [TS]

  you get a cold you could just your wart [TS]

  refinance little all [TS]

  oh god it's a it's an anger this becomes [TS]

  physical it'sit's shot through my sick [TS]

  immune system i think i'm getting [TS]

  literally getting a cold sore on my [TS]

  witch hazel right now I'm going to pop [TS]

  this shit okay let's go straight but you [TS]

  know what let's go straight to the [TS]

  functional component of this have you [TS]

  ever gotten a culture of your nose [TS]

  no you can't get a cold sore in your [TS]

  notice you can just forget using doing [TS]

  John [TS]

  it's a mucous membrane if uncle if he [TS]

  put his time of your old songs in here [TS]

  knows it doesn't have to be a pretty [TS]

  small tongue oh man you can get a cold [TS]

  sore nose and I've heard people having [TS]

  no sex [TS]

  what you have sex with almost anything [TS]

  if you learn enough to meet you [TS]

  they're putting their noses in one [TS]

  another or they're putting stuff in [TS]

  there putting you don't eat somebody's [TS]

  nose [TS]

  you always give me a fresh way of [TS]

  thinking about everything ok yeah called [TS]

  docking so here's the thing [TS]

  let's skip my childhood and go straight [TS]

  to the functional component of this [TS]

  which is that there are people who get [TS]

  stressed pumps and here's what they do [TS]

  dates a fucking rookie mistake they baby [TS]

  it and go you see 00 example celeron all [TS]

  it says on the internet I have to put a [TS]

  nice coupon it [TS]

  what the fuck you don't you get a wet [TS]

  chin a big cold sore stomp and put the [TS]

  ice cube down you're spreading disease [TS]

  to your chin put it thanks [TS]

  so okay what to do next right step 20 [TS]

  this work it's all clinical look at me [TS]

  I'm a doctor you going to buy some [TS]

  fucking blistex and you want to do with [TS]

  your filthy little finger you squeeze [TS]

  some useless ballistics on your finger [TS]

  and now you've got you've got a shiny [TS]

  pointless lip and herpes finger now [TS]

  you've got a way you might you might as [TS]

  well just go just go rub your stress [TS]

  bump all over everything in the house [TS]

  that's right including your remote [TS]

  people are going to touch that's right [TS]

  you might as well just go into the to [TS]

  the the kids room and let them know it [TS]

  you're gonna get it eventually had money [TS]

  i wanna get around i was but let me make [TS]

  sure I've got this right you gotta watch [TS]

  out for Donna right you gotta watch out [TS]

  for you like watch out for in one of two [TS]

  ways either like looking out or Hey look [TS]

  at most you think she might have blistex [TS]

  finger and said once i'm thinking in [TS]

  your bathroom and there's no not today [TS]

  not going but no reason is not that's a [TS]

  start dating Donna there's nothing worse [TS]

  it's gonna happen [TS]

  oh my god done uh-huh good-looking Donna [TS]

  that be held a hobo fight now you go to [TS]

  the next level up and you're going pro [TS]

  so you bought about some finger cots you [TS]

  got to make a sickly fear and you're [TS]

  ready to go to town right this is going [TS]

  to be your weekend in Vegas you're going [TS]

  to take care of this shit you're doing [TS]

  everything right [TS]

  yes your highschool reunions your [TS]

  20-year reunion you don't want to stress [TS]

  you got limited amount of time right now [TS]

  that will work and it can work but [TS]

  should we really go to the pro level do [TS]

  you think I think people need to know [TS]

  that she go to the pro level you're the [TS]

  pro level i learned this i think from [TS]

  you this is an educational port of [TS]

  philosophy podcast that's correct you [TS]

  know you know you taught me the basics [TS]

  of this in a way that made me shudder [TS]

  and like so many of the things you've [TS]

  tried to help me with I immediately set [TS]

  it aside as being impractical [TS]

  impractical and and completely insane [TS]

  likes attended some research on [TS]

  likes attended some research on [TS]

  but on the editor on realize that yes I [TS]

  realized I was wrong [TS]

  uncle Luckey made me hurt [TS]

  hey you know we shouldn't talk about [TS]

  this is you know nobody really just did [TS]

  you get your disgusting you were about [TS]

  to go to the pro level [TS]

  all right well here's the problem this [TS]

  is where this is where you get into the [TS]

  fucking jungle lair bullshit because I'm [TS]

  gonna tell you everything you know is [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  you ready for that here's your economics [TS]

  you keep touching it stop touching it [TS]

  don't play with it don't put things on [TS]

  it here's what you put on you ready for [TS]

  this [TS]

  you goin to wash your hands like a [TS]

  fucking gentleman you get the sharpest [TS]

  needle you've got to get some cotton [TS]

  balls and you get some alcohol wash the [TS]

  hands good put the alcohol is something [TS]

  you're probably going to throw away with [TS]

  the needle into the alcohol you can [TS]

  bring the end if you want to get in the [TS]

  alcohol [TS]

  get it all clean and here's what you're [TS]

  going to do as soon as you start to get [TS]

  the bump you take the needle with the [TS]

  alcohol on it yet take the cotton ball [TS]

  with the alcohol on it and you poke that [TS]

  shit name and then you put the optional [TS]

  order to stop the alcohol straight on it [TS]

  do not touch anything else it all goes [TS]

  into a hazmat bag and throw it away then [TS]

  you're just going to put in so much [TS]

  alcohol on that area alcohol alcohol [TS]

  alcohol is going to drive you out your [TS]

  lips will turn white with rage but you [TS]

  know what's gonna happen it's gonna go [TS]

  away it's not gonna spread like a spread [TS]

  you're not gonna order though the 123 [TS]

  stress but problem that a lot of people [TS]

  get right yeah you never had not you [TS]

  ever had the one that turns into three [TS]

  sure i'm gonna go up your nose I don't [TS]

  think I think that's a canary trap John [TS]

  I don't think you can really get in your [TS]

  notes know you get them in your nose [TS]

  sometimes I so if there's more on the [TS]

  internet which I don't think you should [TS]

  do right now but after this is over I'm [TS]

  gonna want everything I've got [TS]

  everything i'm gonna lie I was like the [TS]

  likies know everything that type in cold [TS]

  sore nose and I bet you find some [TS]

  terrible photographs you don't see how [TS]

  oh you know if you poke the Colts are [TS]

  you turn it from a cold sore into an [TS]

  alley we it but it's a treatable owie [TS]

  it's treatable out that it's just an [TS]

  alley on your lip like any Ally anytime [TS]

  you would get a now if you burn yourself [TS]

  you sitting there and you're sitting [TS]

  there and you're watching your lip get [TS]

  big and it's like having something [TS]

  that's good you know you're on the floor [TS]

  to know where you're going no no this [TS]

  thing is the worst feeling in the world [TS]

  there's a feeling that everybody gets [TS]

  cold sore stress pumps get [TS]

  just feeling the force of physical [TS]

  feeling there's something in your heart [TS]

  that goes oh I shouldn't have thought [TS]

  that thought I was a bad person once and [TS]

  now i'm going to place my just desserts [TS]

  nothing to do with talking for like [TS]

  eating my you different ways what about [TS]

  a form can get from a fork you could get [TS]

  it from before but you're eating off of [TS]

  a fork that was eaten from eating off of [TS]

  from a bad person [TS]

  it's such a shame you're not a Puritan [TS]

  you can help so many people you can make [TS]

  so many people feel so bad about so many [TS]

  ways [TS]

  ah anyway the alcoholics 14 was [TS]

  insufficiently clean [TS]

  yes since it was last in the hands of a [TS]

  bad girl nobody said hopefully suicide [TS]

  chick get say God Donna I read the sky [TS]

  ride with her that Disney man the [TS]

  skyrise she was wearing those jeans that [TS]

  were like a kind of high-waisted and I [TS]

  gettin hella whatever her she looked [TS]

  like she had legs made of denim they [TS]

  were those jeans with no back pocket [TS]

  no no and she man she was not afraid to [TS]

  wear white jeans that proudly oh she [TS]

  might have been many many pauses for she [TS]

  had she has you go faster here where you [TS]

  can have memorized her bangs were [TS]

  feathered in like John started talking [TS]

  freaking me out every bit of this year [TS]

  the biggest the second biggest hurdles [TS]

  of any girl I've ever met she had the [TS]

  giant the giant things on the side she [TS]

  had braces big wings bridge she actually [TS]

  switch apart acted like she liked me for [TS]

  almost three weeks ago painful days it's [TS]

  like waiting for cold sores bloom kodama [TS]

  Donna ah God still still haunts me [TS]

  yeah yeah she's at musc that jovan musk [TS]

  ojo von maur emails that I was good no [TS]

  not too much i'm not talking about Julie [TS]

  levels talking very general general [TS]

  terms terms and harder to put a little [TS]

  bit on either side of her never ever [TS]

  hear i wish i could have been there that [TS]

  little without the area are Jesus Christ [TS]

  and a little bit of feeling that way by [TS]

  journey god damn fucking kyllikki [TS]

  equipment everything did he ruined [TS]

  everything [TS]

  you know there are there are absolutely [TS]

  arm and listening to this podcast yeah a [TS]

  we're not alive in the seventies and we [TS]

  have never had a cold sore and they're [TS]

  thinking to themselves why am i [TS]

  listening to this this is not helping me [TS]

  nah they don't realize that I've never [TS]

  been to the globe theatre was he shut up [TS]

  they don't realize that now that they [TS]

  are listening to this podcast they have [TS]

  entered into the guild with people you [TS]

  know fast girls [TS]

  yeah and who bad things sometimes bad [TS]

  things happen to them yeah and you're [TS]

  going to get a cold sore one of these [TS]

  days off work for you know how many [TS]

  people are going to get cold searches [TS]

  because of the show because we need to [TS]

  think about it isn't that awful [TS]

  she's a trigger warning trigger warning [TS]

  we should put a thing at the beginning [TS]

  trigger and when we do trigger word get [TS]

  to do in pig latin or how does that work [TS]

  you say old old k or say okay or say a [TS]

  la undertray morning way [TS]

  yeah let's take me i'm not sure how I'm [TS]

  not sure how that works you know what [TS]

  out i'll look after look up but no snow [TS]

  storms I'm gonna look up the trigger [TS]

  source anyway you know what skiing all [TS]

  that John self-awareness and alcohol [TS]

  I mean not the kind that you're you know [TS]

  so no and-and-and-and-and 19 years later [TS]

  no do not do [TS]

  yes do not do not waste your money on [TS]

  that seventy percent shit go straight to [TS]

  the 91 % yeah that's tough talk [TS]

  no it's pure stuff you gotta clean a [TS]

  mouse or get rid of course or you want [TS]

  the stronger stuff you can get and happy [TS]

  honest with you it's gonna hurt [TS]

  it's not gonna be a soothing and [TS]

  deliciously kisses of an ice cube know [TS]

  this is gonna fucking hurt so much to [TS]

  put a needle into a blood blister [TS]

  yeah but here's the thing don't wait [TS]

  let's blow it start early and that's [TS]

  right and then alcohol you know more [TS]

  alcohol keep going and learn to go into [TS]

  the pain now I'm speaking to you [TS]

  directly all the strange one you okay [TS]

  exactly exactly and and don't don't [TS]

  treat it like a fucking fondue one [TS]

  straight d people write in and then you [TS]

  know you this there is going to be let's [TS]

  be honest there's going to be a little [TS]

  bit of the liquid that comes out okay [TS]

  bloody is a no-no that's the deadliest [TS]

  substance in the world [TS]

  it must go on the cotton ball with the [TS]

  alcohol and that goes into the hazmat [TS]

  bag that's right now go wash my hands [TS]

  again [TS]

  watch your hands again it's like they're [TS]

  the liquid that comes out of that cold [TS]

  sore is like a sourdough starter [TS]

  it's like you kinda Poland's molecules [TS]

  in it there's a little bit of Napoleon [TS]

  yes there's a little bit of the of the [TS]

  cold sore that Napoleon got from [TS]

  Josephine in the liquid that comes [TS]

  coming out of your lip [TS]

  Josephine is totally started rapping [TS]

  Josephine is totally a fucking waitress [TS]

  named I got Joe Oh Joe can I get a warm [TS]

  up here cher they think Don in preparing [TS]

  the regular doctor cameos are you going [TS]

  out with Joe oh I am her name is [TS]

  Josephine Baker will be careful for [TS]

  that's the best boom she wants to be [TS]

  called just two people choose on days [TS]

  that I think he's given her more than a [TS]

  few tablespoons of hollandaise my train [TS]

  if you know what I'm saying [TS]

  [Music] [TS]