Roderick on the Line

Ep. 33: "Starts to Slurry"

 

  hello a John I'm Marilyn I don't [TS]

  remember John uh-huh but I don't make [TS]

  people cringe be reluctant because they [TS]

  fear the Queen boy I you know you know [TS]

  what anybody who fears the Queen [TS]

  shouldn't even be listening to this [TS]

  podcast you have other ideas other [TS]

  things like that that would be helpful [TS]

  people and deciding what this is right [TS]

  for them [TS]

  Oh some some like a litmus test or a [TS]

  little checklist [TS]

  let's get some quick tips may be a [TS]

  top-10 but you know litmus test would be [TS]

  good to they can know if their basic [TS]

  yeah regular acidic or said or somewhere [TS]

  between um you know I i prefer to think [TS]

  of it in terms of those quizzes that you [TS]

  get in [TS]

  Mademoiselle magazine but where you find [TS]

  out if your boyfriend is cheating on you [TS]

  have to change the name a damn but it's [TS]

  much larger now it's not like like like [TS]

  that just leaves the quickly go in there [TS]

  you could do this while you're while [TS]

  you're doing your laundry or enjoying a [TS]

  pedicure you go through and you find out [TS]

  by answering a series of questions [TS]

  whether your boyfriend's cheating on you [TS]

  yeah right exactly like a those he act [TS]

  weird [TS]

  yes he does does he keep having sex with [TS]

  other ladies [TS]

  oh my god I think he's cheating on me a [TS]

  definitely be almost certainly here's a [TS]

  tip here's a tip for our female [TS]

  listeners your boyfriend's cheating on [TS]

  you [TS]

  222 how much of a certainty you can [TS]

  almost guarantee currently like that [TS]

  right now [TS]

  likewise we do this i don't know it [TS]

  depends doesn't work from home [TS]

  oh this is and I think you're getting [TS]

  you are moving into the field of what i [TS]

  would call self-help the questions to [TS]

  ask yourself why you're getting a [TS]

  pedicure should you be back at home [TS]

  keeping an eye on that guy [TS]

  my are you getting a pedicure is full [TS]

  stop [TS]

  who cares he said it's about nails you [TS]

  have strong feelings about not having [TS]

  feelings about nails I feel like the I [TS]

  feel like nails of all the things they [TS]

  goals but like my grooming your nails is [TS]

  the thing you really can do [TS]

  satisfactorily by yourself with a [TS]

  pocketknife and we on that if you're [TS]

  spending more time on your nails then [TS]

  you can accomplish with a pocketknife [TS]

  and maybe like a an emery board and [TS]

  everything ok [TS]

  they're saying if you keep you can make [TS]

  the upgrade from your front teeth until [TS]

  like a leather man like me you've [TS]

  already you you have evolved [TS]

  sufficiently right move on [TS]

  go check out that a fucker at your house [TS]

  was probably getting a handy from what [TS]

  now is somebody works with is it [TS]

  somebody what do you think what do you [TS]

  think that sort of trouble comes from [TS]

  give a sense that's the thing it could [TS]

  be anybody could be the UPS girl [TS]

  it could be the PS girl that's gonna use [TS]

  that you know what I mean it could be [TS]

  the milk made it could be the milk then [TS]

  I did she milked the callous did she [TS]

  bring the milk milk maid she brings the [TS]

  she brings the milk she potentially does [TS]

  everything milk related inside of the [TS]

  household in the neighborhood [TS]

  yeah you know the thing is now that [TS]

  women are welcome in all fields so all [TS]

  walks of life it could be the meter [TS]

  reader it could be the could be the maid [TS]

  the mail deliver here hehe kinda [TS]

  slightly open the window and sticks his [TS]

  head out good night's clipboard a nice [TS]

  reflective best at the other people see [TS]

  you at night it could be the there could [TS]

  you know the postwoman Always Rings [TS]

  Twice first sure especially if he asked [TS]

  the stone does um now what about what [TS]

  about scullery maids and very interested [TS]

  in scullery maids I think that might be [TS]

  pretty like in the household in those [TS]

  very it's like it's like royalty and in [TS]

  duchies in in Europe Duchess em and I [TS]

  think your scholarly major you're about [TS]

  as far now and it's kind of like me in [TS]

  the piss boy or the dishwasher at a [TS]

  restaurant I don't this play's [TS]

  restaurants but you eat with a scholar [TS]

  in my sensitive side on the San [TS]

  Francisco's a different kind of town is [TS]

  so we don't know this boys here anymore [TS]

  not at all i know is that legislation or [TS]

  like Portland where you gotta like have [TS]

  people humping gas just kind of [TS]

  initiative you have something that's [TS]

  something where [TS]

  a little pissed boys were and they were [TS]

  selling the piss on the open market and [TS]

  it was determined that we just need to [TS]

  recycle it's like got his license with [TS]

  recycling rights it's all a scam [TS]

  yeah oldest pendulums a recycling scheme [TS]

  Angeles is a lot of things I you know I [TS]

  think he gives me a run for my money in [TS]

  terms of signal to noise ratio [TS]

  I wonder often when i put something in [TS]

  the recycling when I when I look into my [TS]

  recycling bin that has newspapers tin [TS]

  cans glass plastic bottles and then I [TS]

  put up you know like a cardboard in [TS]

  there and I think what now [TS]

  how is all this going into the right [TS]

  into the right decision that's going to [TS]

  be at that that's gonna be a park bench [TS]

  for multicultural children [TS]

  ya know this this is that this is super [TS]

  train is going to solve all of this I [TS]

  didn't want I didn't want to bring it up [TS]

  because i don't know if it's something [TS]

  where I don't know the stage development [TS]

  or funding that you're in [TS]

  I have a feeling super she is going to [TS]

  take care of a lot of our recycling [TS]

  issues super glamorous and super to [TS]

  create a super train gets a second or [TS]

  third claw it's not gonna be too fucking [TS]

  sort no no for sure it's not it's get me [TS]

  to speed up the conflagration super [TS]

  train is going to super train is going [TS]

  to start with mobile home parks and it's [TS]

  just going to recycle them with all [TS]

  their contents [TS]

  uh-huh but I my feeling is that that [TS]

  week you know we just put a space rocket [TS]

  in space a private space rocket I don't [TS]

  know if you watch that I heard something [TS]

  about a private space rocket there's a [TS]

  private space rocket and the Fantastic [TS]

  Four did that 1963 for as well yeah [TS]

  discontinued that that was that's all [TS]

  under cover of The Secret legion of doom [TS]

  but but uh but they just put a private [TS]

  space rocket into space i was watching [TS]

  it on the on the internets and they [TS]

  actually like the people that were [TS]

  announcing it you know like the normally [TS]

  you would have some some guys with crew [TS]

  cuts and slide rules in the front pocket [TS]

  going t minus 72 you know initial [TS]

  second-stage defibrillation whatever [TS]

  they say i don't know i do best [TS]

  because if you had said he had a slider [TS]

  about you can really nail it [TS]

  and these three like the guy had a [TS]

  handlebar mustache and Anna like ironic [TS]

  afro and they were like we did it [TS]

  Iraq is it hasn't really got its got in [TS]

  that it's gotten that bad at NASA it's [TS]

  not an ounce of though it's it's some [TS]

  san francisco startup they launched it [TS]

  down sorry of course must be from [TS]

  Cupertino's off the you know off the [TS]

  back of a tortoise I don't know what [TS]

  they're doing is fucking Holocaust we [TS]

  cannot we cannot get something off the [TS]

  pad in this country and its people [TS]

  running around and fucking flip flops [TS]

  and afros just picking shit go up in the [TS]

  air [TS]

  that's a long that they maybe put like [TS]

  three Priuses they had a bungee cord [TS]

  very wise very quiet rakesh super super [TS]

  super efficient second news NPR station [TS]

  and the classical station but but they [TS]

  can put a rocket into space now but they [TS]

  can't make a home recycling trash [TS]

  compactor deal you can use metal in the [TS]

  microwave [TS]

  you know you know like you should have [TS]

  at home you should have a thing where [TS]

  you take your you take your cardboard [TS]

  and you put in this thing and it [TS]

  immediately starts to move shit and mash [TS]

  it down into that Bush who and then you [TS]

  would you call it a slurry yeah you make [TS]

  a slurry right so you've got your you've [TS]

  got a little slot where you put your you [TS]

  put your paper products and it starts to [TS]

  slowly I mean you put your glass [TS]

  products and it breaks it down and turns [TS]

  it into you know glass dust or you know [TS]

  you should be able to do the first stage [TS]

  of breaking all that shit down at home [TS]

  so that when the recycling truck comes [TS]

  you just hand them like a brick [TS]

  it's like here's the glass break here's [TS]

  the metal break here's the here's the [TS]

  paper brick I think I think you're [TS]

  really honest I was like Wally you make [TS]

  a little on the low keep the trash it's [TS]

  very efficient it's like smashing down [TS]

  your cans when you're like going [TS]

  shopping cart guys you know isn't funny [TS]

  also then and you know and I just [TS]

  literally cannot think of anything I can [TS]

  think of almost nothing that i would [TS]

  rather talk about less than recycling [TS]

  it's it's it's literally one of the [TS]

  things I at least want to talk about [TS]

  your back to scullery maids because they [TS]

  actually do that [TS]

  yeah I just like it's fucking funny that [TS]

  like you have a gas driven giant [TS]

  rock that comes to your house so that it [TS]

  takes away it takes away your dainty [TS]

  imported beer bottles so that somebody [TS]

  is getting whatever eight dollars an [TS]

  hour can sort through them on a conveyor [TS]

  belt to make sure they don't have too [TS]

  much beer in them and will screw up the [TS]

  works and you know i just and you know [TS]

  i'm right i just want to just close the [TS]

  thread i think what I hear you saying [TS]

  also if I'm hearing you correctly is you [TS]

  should not need a truck at all if you [TS]

  want to make that in the glass art that [TS]

  could be the way you slurry if you want [TS]

  to slurry that into literally a park [TS]

  bench you get you get let's say you keep [TS]

  you waiting to get seven or 800 empty [TS]

  milk cartons and nobody should really be [TS]

  drinking that much milk but if you do [TS]

  you get all those and you can literally [TS]

  make a park bench or table you should be [TS]

  able to this every uses better than [TS]

  recycling I think slurry is better than [TS]

  reuse that's that's super flexible john [TS]

  III feel like this list that's the [TS]

  slurry is the first stage on the way to [TS]

  then having a second machine in your [TS]

  house which then converts that stuff [TS]

  back into like you take the take the [TS]

  slurry and then you make it back into [TS]

  your own printer paper or you make it [TS]

  back into your own you know glass [TS]

  bottles you have a little distance [TS]

  Spencer that like you wore loop and it [TS]

  makes a bottle for you can make an NPR [TS]

  talkback mic and turn it into like that [TS]

  sort of like am and how they have like [TS]

  two fer ki maybe they could have a suit [TS]

  it's like cute but it's not jute yeah [TS]

  it's nude nude nude all I'm going to [TS]

  capture that and use that you made with [TS]

  the high fructose corn syrup new new [TS]

  jutsu I like I think they want to look a [TS]

  little bit ping pong but like i said [TS]

  it's not the Orthodox jute no no it's [TS]

  nude [TS]

  ok what about record-keeping my form [TS]

  jute I think you can be there is that [TS]

  there there's there's there's this new [TS]

  kind of like a sort of conservative [TS]

  reform dude you can be like and i'm [TS]

  sorry i really like about the seller is [TS]

  something I thought of when i was in the [TS]

  shower this morning right discuss today [TS]

  with not that it matters today is [TS]

  Wednesday and I think you're showered a [TS]

  charity whether you did or not but you [TS]

  talked about the president has see [TS]

  acetic ambulance service [TS]

  yeah who drives on Friday nights [TS]

  oh my god I hadn't even thought of that [TS]

  you know you know about like kosher [TS]

  elevators right you know you know about [TS]

  the insane the same it and then with all [TS]

  due respect to a great great religion in [TS]

  Greece they really are there are [TS]

  wonderful people and let's not [TS]

  we're going to say I have a huge amount [TS]

  of respect for the Jutes but here's the [TS]

  thing that I'm going to Sabbath there's [TS]

  all kinds of things you're not allowed [TS]

  to do right I told you about the wire [TS]

  that goes around the neighborhood [TS]

  I told you about that i told you about [TS]

  that i told you about that's what about [TS]

  it in Miami I told you about that the [TS]

  wire that goes around the neighborhood [TS]

  it's a hack [TS]

  it's a hack and once you get the wire [TS]

  around your neighborhood this is true [TS]

  there's a bit the place where we [TS]

  remember the Holocaust fist i showed you [TS]

  it's that same area it's super Jewish [TS]

  super Judy and you put a wire around it [TS]

  and then it's technically all the rules [TS]

  are off right because you're inside the [TS]

  wire [TS]

  yeah i think it's brilliant and the wire [TS]

  is charged with a little with the with [TS]

  God power / that I i think it's Yahweh [TS]

  you're not allowed to pronounce it don't [TS]

  say it [TS]

  ok said I think there should be some [TS]

  kind of a onomatopoetic for that but now [TS]

  i'm captain do you want to have [TS]

  elevators are called the non-kosher [TS]

  elevators because they don't they don't [TS]

  have any kind of meat that unless you [TS]

  put him there which you could do i think [TS]

  on Sunday but not on Saturday because [TS]

  that's not their day they don't care [TS]

  about Sunday's you play golf right like [TS]

  I want a gentleman but here's the thing [TS]

  you know do you know what day is it not [TS]

  pass over what a Sabbath i'll have you [TS]

  heard of the Sabbath elevator [TS]

  tell us about the Sabbath LOL here's the [TS]

  thing this is where things get super [TS]

  hairy for the Jutes is you're not [TS]

  allowed to cause a fire to be made right [TS]

  this goes back if you read one of those [TS]

  books you know what the old books [TS]

  probably one of the prophets it's very [TS]

  repetitive very morally edited with all [TS]

  due respect right I'll talk to fire on [TS]

  the far no fires no fires a big is a big [TS]

  part of general light switches no [TS]

  buttons [TS]

  you got it because if you turn on the [TS]

  air conditioner you're making a little [TS]

  flame you can you can so you know what [TS]

  you do you hire a scullery-maid you hire [TS]

  somebody i think i think it's called a [TS]

  sabot the scullery and somebody can come [TS]

  in turn on the air cushion for you but [TS]

  it's a boy [TS]

  it's ok that is a real term is not going [TS]

  so good and so now another thing is you [TS]

  have to act like you don't know they [TS]

  work for you because you can certainly [TS]

  can't pay them that day because that [TS]

  would involve lighting a fire you you [TS]

  have to here's the thing maybe there's a [TS]

  place where you just leave [TS]

  any and accidentally drop your address [TS]

  and then people show up in turn on your [TS]

  fucking air-conditioning is my name is [TS]

  very hot with a wire notwithstanding [TS]

  it's a very very hot community John well [TS]

  the thing is if you turn your air [TS]

  conditioning on before the sun goes down [TS]

  on the Sabbath you can just leave it arm [TS]

  all getting cold [TS]

  well no you don't have to turn it off [TS]

  you just leave it on you have not [TS]

  started a fire with fire is in the [TS]

  process of going whatever Hardware your [TS]

  power goes out you have to go to a [TS]

  circuit breaker d-did they have a [TS]

  Sabbath electricians see that I think [TS]

  that I think that was on now I think [TS]

  that might have been paranoid paranoid [TS]

  you can definitely you can conduct [TS]

  several description you can definitely [TS]

  go wires on the lads you know you are [TS]

  you [TS]

  that's like that Sabbath bloody Sabbath [TS]

  please continue [TS]

  you are not i think i think that the the [TS]

  question of who drives the ambulances in [TS]

  the Orthodox ambulance service is is it [TS]

  is that is the question because anything [TS]

  else you can you can just hire a boyish [TS]

  person to do [TS]

  ok now what you think the whole purpose [TS]

  what would if you have a few exactly but [TS]

  you can't you can't have like a fill-in [TS]

  driver on models [TS]

  I mean maybe they do maybe they have [TS]

  maybe they have a dominican guys right [TS]

  now not going to the Cotton Club to get [TS]

  a circumcision I don't think that I [TS]

  don't think that works at all here's the [TS]

  thing [TS]

  sabaton here I'm going somewhere with [TS]

  this two things first of all google [TS]

  which is very silly nowadays they are [TS]

  developing a driverless car point to a [TS]

  Sabbath elevator is an elevator that [TS]

  automatically stops every floor so you [TS]

  can get on without having to make a fire [TS]

  with the button on Sabbath elevator [TS]

  stops at every floor it's very [TS]

  inefficient I would just take the steps [TS]

  and unless they involve the lighting a [TS]

  fire but if you lived on the 47th floor [TS]

  well maybe you should have thought of [TS]

  that about that because of your face [TS]

  maybe you get a jute hang glider or some [TS]

  kind of a jute rope internal matters why [TS]

  that is why uh Orthodox people all do [TS]

  live in communities together so that [TS]

  they don't have to Johnny travelocity [TS]

  most the most Orthodox Jews live very [TS]

  near the first floor [TS]

  well they they they tend to live within [TS]

  walking distance of their synagogue so [TS]

  that they cannot the recent like not the [TS]

  wire synagogue [TS]

  yeah well I mean yeah about the wire is [TS]

  usually around an actual synagogue [TS]

  under the interactions undergarments and [TS]

  Florida it goes around like look at like [TS]

  a neighborhood like bigger than a [TS]

  subdivision [TS]

  yeah there's one like that in seattle to [TS]

  but there's a synagogue in the middle of [TS]

  that but they couldn't do that on [TS]

  Sabbath I bet they had to have somebody [TS]

  to that they had to get a am either had [TS]

  to have a green wire hanger or or uh [TS]

  sabbath in circular i'm going to imagine [TS]

  that wire has to be hung by a rabbi I [TS]

  would want to research a rabbi there to [TS]

  make sure that everything was kosher and [TS]

  i would also have a pretty high up [TS]

  because although a lot of the just with [TS]

  all due respect a lot of folks aren't [TS]

  super tall a lot of us are like you're [TS]

  pretty tall man you can easily walk into [TS]

  a synagogue wire [TS]

  yeah it's got to be high enough but it [TS]

  doesn't you don't want to you know what [TS]

  bird sitting on it maybe they do because [TS]

  you're not gonna like that is the rest I [TS]

  you know I have not read as much of the [TS]

  tall mood as I should and maybe this is [TS]

  all covered in there [TS]

  hmm how will you know when you've had [TS]

  enough well I think when when when no [TS]

  one can ask me a question about Judaism [TS]

  where I don't have the answer already [TS]

  hand I think we have moved from Socratic [TS]

  to tell music I think we're having a [TS]

  Talmudic discussion right now mmmm [TS]

  well I believe I can't believe that the [TS]

  question that these are all questions [TS]

  that are that are you know they're not [TS]

  they're not explicitly in the Torah they [TS]

  are part of the tunnel the tradition [TS]

  that's because I'm looking as i speak [TS]

  right now I'm looking at a book called [TS]

  the joys of Yiddish by leo rosten that's [TS]

  interest rate popular in the seventies [TS]

  the job he had the choice of unit has [TS]

  all the and as all the diagrams and when [TS]

  you were a kid you would go looking [TS]

  every other ladies and armpit hair [TS]

  yeah Shalom Aleichem we remember [TS]

  thinking about another lady and her hair [TS]

  my god the choice sex was repulsive to [TS]

  do so and the guy with that that that [TS]

  beard that like it hung off of him like [TS]

  his penis and his beard hung in exactly [TS]

  the same way i have droopy i have to say [TS]

  that the the people in the joy of sex [TS]

  did not look like they were enjoying [TS]

  what they were doing [TS]

  no no they look like they were the last [TS]

  two people are getting picking kickball [TS]

  their last two people to keep partying [TS]

  neither of them are happy [TS]

  yeah yeah but that but they somehow felt [TS]

  obligated to go through all seven [TS]

  hundred positions [TS]

  maybe they were low key from fine deal [TS]

  and Steely Dan although is there wasn't [TS]

  there was one interesting one [TS]

  where the what was it the guy is always [TS]

  consistently licks her armpit or [TS]

  something i'm sure i don't know why but [TS]

  i'm sure i flipped past that as fast as [TS]

  I could but there was one where the guy [TS]

  was on his back and he had his feet up [TS]

  in the air and she was like on the [TS]

  outside of his legs but somehow like on [TS]

  top of him in such a way that that but [TS]

  it was like she was like she was the boy [TS]

  horse rights but basically that's got [TS]

  scandalizing the butterfly he was like [TS]

  feet in the air full-on like but she but [TS]

  she was doing the cheese doing the work [TS]

  that's always intrigued me [TS]

  yeah um I've gone to the internet to [TS]

  find out what a scullery maid is in [TS]

  first kind of just suggest just not now [TS]

  because we I think we would have to edit [TS]

  a lot of it out [TS]

  go look at the images for scullery maid [TS]

  it's it's it's unexpectedly hot because [TS]

  the scullery maid [TS]

  mr. so in great houses and she's working [TS]

  a huge got a barrel all that's gonna [TS]

  fairly got a barrel and mop is here's [TS]

  the thing in Great Houses scullery maids [TS]

  with the lowest rank and often the [TS]

  youngest of the female servants haha [TS]

  acted as an assistant to a kitchen maid [TS]

  mmm i think they did a lot of modeling [TS]

  because you insisted including [TS]

  vegetables plucking foul and stealing [TS]

  fish she was John she can plug that [TS]

  she's got super strong fingers [TS]

  oh can I just say ringing out the mops [TS]

  not like new mops not like nice mops [TS]

  like world maps but it's been moving [TS]

  dirt around she has to squeeze that so [TS]

  hard with our hands and this is this is [TS]

  this is something that I've thought [TS]

  about for many years and and part of it [TS]

  was I had I I had an uncle who was a [TS]

  rich man he was a he was a member of the [TS]

  of the one percent and as he got older [TS]

  like a lot of those guys who have made a [TS]

  lot of money as he got older what he [TS]

  what he wanted to do was just keep [TS]

  making more money and my dad who was not [TS]

  a rich man but who lived like a rich man [TS]

  who thought like a rich man my dad used [TS]

  to say to my uncle [TS]

  well then I'm gonna do it in his voice [TS]

  what the hell are you doing here for 76 [TS]

  years old he were you working 80 hours a [TS]

  week when I want to get a young girl and [TS]

  you get a young girl and go to the [TS]

  worker to describe it work like stop [TS]

  working get a girl and go sit on a beach [TS]

  somewhere like you made it you got all [TS]

  the money in the world you don't need [TS]

  more money go get a young girl and go [TS]

  sit on the beach somewhere that's what [TS]

  you know that's how you spend your money [TS]

  and my uncle was just like I get it you [TS]

  know you don't know what you're talking [TS]

  about [TS]

  I've got I've got more people to ruin [TS]

  but but but my thought is like there's [TS]

  so many rich people in the world and you [TS]

  know some of them you know most of them [TS]

  are still like getting up in the morning [TS]

  like I get up in the morning every day [TS]

  and make more money because I'm an [TS]

  asshole but but there's got to be some [TS]

  that are like you know what i have i [TS]

  have scullery maids to help the kitchen [TS]

  maids like they're doing it right [TS]

  the in the sense that they are enacting [TS]

  a medieval fantasy in a castle that they [TS]

  built for themselves on Lake all their [TS]

  their make the gentry right that they [TS]

  are actually like like a they are you [TS]

  know defenestrated their enemies and [TS]

  they are they there there impaling the [TS]

  heads of their of their i totally agree [TS]

  glad you guys on stakes around their [TS]

  house and stuff you know you can tell [TS]

  you until does that like people who yell [TS]

  at the waitress you know I is this [TS]

  seriously if I can I don't know this is [TS]

  your this is your show it is your chance [TS]

  to help people but if I could give one [TS]

  piece of advice to people if you're [TS]

  about to go into any kind of [TS]

  relationship with anybody and whether [TS]

  that's going to be a partner or somebody [TS]

  we give it to Handy's or somebody where [TS]

  you were more money is exchanged first [TS]

  of all it's very important that you eat [TS]

  out with him several times this will [TS]

  tell you a lot about them if they always [TS]

  were to the stake and this is a really [TS]

  nice stick to probably kind of boring [TS]

  right [TS]

  if they if they put too much salt on the [TS]

  field without tasting it [TS]

  good to know because they're probably a [TS]

  little bit reckless and not very good [TS]

  with their judgment but here's the thing [TS]

  they will travel it they will try to be [TS]

  nice to you write your own dates [TS]

  stuff they're gonna try to be charming [TS]

  you know a point but not to make it [TS]

  super weird if that person fucking does [TS]

  anything but is a complete gentleman or [TS]

  gentlelady with the staff of the [TS]

  restaurant there fucks name [TS]

  hmm interesting theory because that is a [TS]

  small person who needs a disparity in [TS]

  class and power in order to feel like a [TS]

  whole person and they will fuck you over [TS]

  11 times from sunday if you get anywhere [TS]

  near them and you'll never find out into [TS]

  it slept till it's too late and suddenly [TS]

  you're the waitress you're the you're [TS]

  the lady horse and you're the one not [TS]

  going to tip if you know what I mean [TS]

  have you had this experience John you [TS]

  eat a lot i do it out a lot but well and [TS]

  and and i think that i think i need to [TS]

  make to do i need to make at least one [TS]

  distinction which is that yes agreed [TS]

  I i have never been I've never been in a [TS]

  situation where someone was like rude or [TS]

  aggressive with a waitress because i [TS]

  feel very strongly that I have a I have [TS]

  enough sense to pick to a to have [TS]

  already excluded those people like super [TS]

  music business stuff we've had to go [TS]

  have dinner with some big with the cigar [TS]

  in hundred-dollar bills you've never [TS]

  seen this most of the most of the time [TS]

  most of the time they are you know that [TS]

  they at least they at least are smart [TS]

  enough to know that that how they treat [TS]

  the waitress is also going to be some [TS]

  someone how they're judged by you know [TS]

  if they're trying to like oh you know in [TS]

  our guy they want to be with you how [TS]

  they're like you the area exactly but I [TS]

  but there is an epidemic I think among [TS]

  liberal uh people in their thirties or [TS]

  forties of what i would call like [TS]

  condescending reverse a obsequious two [TS]

  waitresses churches condescending [TS]

  reverse obsequious two waitresses [TS]

  yes ok which is over politeness and [TS]

  deference to waitresses as a as a way of [TS]

  expressing that you understand how hard [TS]

  their job is and you really don't want [TS]

  to make any imposition on them but can [TS]

  you please have you know can I get [TS]

  please just get one more and I'm [TS]

  really sorry to ask but can I please get [TS]

  one more piece of cheese for my moment a [TS]

  minute and that like over deference to [TS]

  waitresses is a kind of condescension [TS]

  that liberal people pay when in fact o [TS]

  bein waitress is a is a proud and and [TS]

  dignified position and what your [TS]

  waitress wants is for you to say what [TS]

  you want in the with the absolute [TS]

  economy of language and get the fuck out [TS]

  of her hair and let her get on with the [TS]

  job it's a java yeah so if your [TS]

  hamburger comes and it is wrong you [TS]

  don't say I'm sorry but them mean that [TS]

  you just say i miss I i ordered this [TS]

  without the thing and it has the thing [TS]

  and if you get if you say it it with [TS]

  with an economy of language that I i [TS]

  have been at dinner with so many people [TS]

  and music business people to where the [TS]

  waitress when I say miss i ordered this [TS]

  with the thing and does another thing [TS]

  and she goes okay and she comes and [TS]

  grabs a plate and the person across from [TS]

  me says turns to winter goes I'm sorry [TS]

  all big mistake [TS]

  that's a big mistake if you do that to [TS]

  me oh man the corrections worse than the [TS]

  crime right and the waitress kinda looks [TS]

  over at the other person goes there's no [TS]

  problem and they walked off to the [TS]

  kitchen and then then the person who has [TS]

  protected me is in for a little like a [TS]

  mini lecture for men about how they [TS]

  should given mini-lecture you're like [TS]

  how they should a shut the fuck up at be [TS]

  how you know how bitter that they can be [TS]

  they can be like condescendingly a over [TS]

  polite as much as they want in their own [TS]

  transactions with people but not to [TS]

  impose that bullshit on my interactions [TS]

  and I I've been in long arguments with [TS]

  people where like I had a guy one time [TS]

  say to the two waitress when I was [TS]

  saying and I'm gonna you know i got like [TS]

  this and I am NOT of this the guy turns [TS]

  to the waitress the guy doesn't know me [TS]

  that well but he turns the weight room [TS]

  goes he's obviously never waited tables [TS]

  oh man and this is the guy that I know [TS]

  for a fact had never waited tables is [TS]

  that was the old west that would be the [TS]

  equivalent of him calling you yella well [TS]

  hon was shot first in that situation if [TS]

  that was the old west i wouldn't even [TS]

  stood up I would have shot him just from [TS]

  under the table [TS]

  oh no he would not have finished his [TS]

  indifference [TS]

  before he be splattered all over the [TS]

  cantina that's ridiculous [TS]

  in fact I have waited tables before and [TS]

  I waited tables for years yet you [TS]

  managed to place full of grunge drunks [TS]

  brunch Drunk so tell me about customer [TS]

  service and this guy is trying to like [TS]

  he's trying to cuddle up to this [TS]

  waitress by like obviously he's never [TS]

  had to do a thing before because he's a [TS]

  rock star and I'm like you know you know [TS]

  you know you got a master's degree you [TS]

  know and you got a master's degree in [TS]

  business like you've never waited [TS]

  fucking tables guy and a and you know [TS]

  anything but it's it's part of this [TS]

  culture of like and I think it started [TS]

  in the eighties when one waiters started [TS]

  actually coming up to the table and [TS]

  sitting down in the booth you're going [TS]

  hi guys what what are you going to have [TS]

  today what are we having tonight I'm [TS]

  just having on your server [TS]

  yeah i'm skipping your server we having [TS]

  tonight you want to get some jalapeno [TS]

  poppers [TS]

  I'm a customer I'm trying to have a [TS]

  conversation and that you know and and [TS]

  so all these people that were kind of [TS]

  raised in that environment they think [TS]

  that that is the that's the dynamic with [TS]

  waitresses like hi how are you oh my god [TS]

  I'm so sorry that you have to work a job [TS]

  John this is one of the many important [TS]

  corners in your much larger development [TS]

  wrong if i could you see the german word [TS]

  for a minute you haven't seen Marty [TS]

  Barrett not sure you don't like you [TS]

  don't like fake nice i don't write [TS]

  there's a variety of things that this [TS]

  fits into into your fake nice masks evil [TS]

  more than it the more than it promotes [TS]

  good [TS]

  oh yeah I think Karl Marx said that the [TS]

  road to hell is paved with apologizing [TS]

  for John Rother can restaurant.com know [TS]

  how is Friedrich Engels the carpet I'll [TS]

  i think you're a well that's gonna make [TS]

  phosphor junk but there never funny I [TS]

  but here's the thing just one person [TS]

  that's listening to this podcast it's [TS]

  like oh dammit of once i was going to [TS]

  but I can't know that [TS]

  here's the thing you on you i could make [TS]

  this very functional if I could say and [TS]

  this gets into the stuff that I care [TS]

  about method is a Venn diagram somewhere [TS]

  here which is that clarity [TS]

  we've got to have clarity we should have [TS]

  clarity about our roles like it doesn't [TS]

  have to be like weird [TS]

  it makes it the opposite of weird if we [TS]

  are clear about our roles i am coming to [TS]

  this place to be served food by people [TS]

  who serve food in exchange for that give [TS]

  them money they have a job to do right [TS]

  so you know what and John I don't want [TS]

  to make it about handjobs but i think [TS]

  this is Stu [TS]

  right in the fucking handjob wheelhouse [TS]

  because you go in there and you gotta [TS]

  tell him what you want and in this [TS]

  instance you don't you don't you know [TS]

  what the guys get the hand next to you [TS]

  say up i'm sorry that he was so [TS]

  aggressive and talking about his balls [TS]

  let's fuck that no that's right and in [TS]

  this case you want to talk about your [TS]

  balls you talk about me but you know [TS]

  what you do I think they're dirt there's [TS]

  the thing is i think most weight Ron's [TS]

  which i think is the gender neutral way [TS]

  to say it was terrible terrible word [TS]

  well we'll enjoy the clarity just like [TS]

  summers and giving a handy and I don't [TS]

  want to say that all waitresses give [TS]

  handjobs because I that's I just in my [TS]

  experience that's not the case but if [TS]

  you go in there and you say to them [TS]

  um hi I I wanted this medium rare and [TS]

  this is really closer to medium well [TS]

  could you could you take it back and get [TS]

  me another one [TS]

  you know I there's nothing unclear about [TS]

  that like anything and any waiter that [TS]

  has a problem with that anyway that [TS]

  rolls their eyes are like oh my god they [TS]

  apologized and walk away they go they do [TS]

  the thing they go well but a waitress or [TS]

  waiter that has a problem with it is in [TS]

  the wrong line of work and there are so [TS]

  many priestess kind of say baristas yeah [TS]

  oh my god but you know I the the you're [TS]

  right i don't know where it came from [TS]

  underneath was the eighties a lot of [TS]

  terrible things came out of the eighties [TS]

  but I think you're absolutely right i [TS]

  think i think there's this theory is [TS]

  this culture now let's be honest people [TS]

  like my friends got Simpson me my entire [TS]

  life is predicated on trying to make the [TS]

  way just like us because you guys [TS]

  apologize profusely bleeding and I i [TS]

  have told you how sorry I am about that [TS]

  but it's really true [TS]

  we just want to make the witches laughs [TS]

  innovation and what and what it really [TS]

  is about is it's about the demographic [TS]

  shin of the great class of servers that [TS]

  has happened over the last noble the [TS]

  noble tradition i disagree John I think [TS]

  because I could still try to make the [TS]

  way just like me but then I could also [TS]

  be nice but here's the problem is when I [TS]

  started like a crazy person is like this [TS]

  place we go in our neighborhood place [TS]

  you've been to before and we go there we [TS]

  get burger sometimes and something out [TS]

  of the language barrier i don't know if [TS]

  it's the fact that almost nobody can [TS]

  ever understand what I'm saying no [TS]

  matter what right conclusive but I went [TS]

  in there and I said can I get the [TS]

  cheeseburger medium rare with fries and [TS]

  can also please do this for a kid so we [TS]

  started with this is for a kid that's [TS]

  code it means finding listen to this [TS]

  right this is for kid [TS]

  yes a question and you go anything only [TS]

  please is there is there sauce on that [TS]

  it's for [TS]

  kid right and they go whenever necessary [TS]

  so you might as well be saying is [TS]

  there's shrimp on there because [TS]

  otherwise my child will die [TS]

  that's how seriously you must take it if [TS]

  I have to walk home with something that [TS]

  has any sauce on it i'm gonna be coming [TS]

  back there and I'm not gonna be happy [TS]

  and they're going to be that guy a [TS]

  little bit so I say I please have to [TS]

  have the the cheeseburger special but i [TS]

  would like nothing on I didn't say no [TS]

  cheese [TS]

  I said I want nothing on the burger [TS]

  except burger on a bun so please no [TS]

  sauce no cheese no anything please [TS]

  please note to use no songs no anything [TS]

  and so of course it immediately turns [TS]

  into a money python routine and she goes [TS]

  so cheeseburger I said yes I want the [TS]

  burger but with no cheese like Lenin and [TS]

  you can't see but i'm making this [TS]

  horizontal gesture with my hand flat as [TS]

  I have to say I there will be I will [TS]

  solve the land this is scorched earth [TS]

  it's moving now [TS]

  yeah yeah I'm making a 90-degree [TS]

  horizontal swing to indicate flat [TS]

  fucking land [TS]

  yes try nothin bout right right doesn't [TS]

  want to see his burger on a desert [TS]

  that's right and I want you to have [TS]

  between here he says and so of course [TS]

  she responds you know in that amount of [TS]

  overconfidence that this particular [TS]

  witches hasn't always trying to remember [TS]

  my order and getting three things about [TS]

  it wrong and she's focused on the side i [TS]

  said here's the thing i want you to the [TS]

  plastic box and put some some of those [TS]

  crinkle-cut fries in there and I want a [TS]

  burger with literally nothing on it but [TS]

  a piece of meat on a bun so you can [TS]

  guess how this what goes on here it [TS]

  comes out it's fully dressed [TS]

  it's got everything on it and I say and [TS]

  I I'm and each time she said like your [TS]

  orders almost ready i actually because [TS]

  this place makes me crazy by getting if [TS]

  they got my order wrong and seven out of [TS]

  eight times and then stopped going there [TS]

  if they got my order wrong one out of 39 [TS]

  times it wouldn't matter right in my [TS]

  order wrong one out of seven times is [TS]

  crazy making yeah it's just enough to [TS]

  make you feel fucking nuts and so I said [TS]

  remember remember that for the kid [TS]

  so nothing on it you don't do that [TS]

  murder and being that guy you hate but [TS]

  i'm going to make sure and the current [TS]

  comes out fully dressed it's got shit [TS]

  all over it right so you now can you can [TS]

  fucking guess [TS]

  did you throw it out her huh I said you [TS]

  remember this [TS]

  did you push up against the wall and I [TS]

  didn't say I don't see many little it is [TS]

  a very rare i said ray [TS]

  err no no no they took it back and you [TS]

  know exactly what that what that [TS]

  cocksucker in the back did know that's a [TS]

  myth together but they're not spitting [TS]

  on your food no no no no I would know I [TS]

  didn't check i checked carefully enough [TS]

  to see that he had skull raped the [TS]

  cheese off great the other stuff oh I [TS]

  got it got a fresh bun and that was the [TS]

  extent of it [TS]

  oh boy yeah I wouldn't I wouldn't and [TS]

  then I i open it up because I always [TS]

  check my order there now I gotta fucking [TS]

  hate myself for the last 35 minutes of [TS]

  what I've been saying but now there's a [TS]

  little bit of cheese on the fries [TS]

  ya gotta get you know what we're just [TS]

  pulling at that point you burn the [TS]

  restaurant down that point you burn the [TS]

  restaurant down you stand out in the [TS]

  street take all your clothes I've got [TS]

  sense of when it's really time to put [TS]

  the restaurant down girls ask you yet [TS]

  that is not purely emotional emotion [TS]

  plays a role in it you're like [TS]

  Wolverines brought you to where you are [TS]

  but you have to have some sense in your [TS]

  mind when the line has been crossed and [TS]

  it is time to fix something why did [TS]

  Mookie grab that trash can and throw [TS]

  through the front window of [TS]

  self-preservation he had enough you know [TS]

  what is it had enough it was time with [TS]

  it was time it was time to break down i [TS]

  don't think that was all that bad [TS]

  no no I didn't either i was surprised [TS]

  when movie through the trash can be [TS]

  surprised at the time I was like well [TS]

  what why don't i don't get it i don't [TS]

  get it sounds good movie but Mookie and [TS]

  had enough it was time it was just time [TS]

  to burn that restaurant down and this in [TS]

  this situation when there's do it now [TS]

  you got sauce on the fries [TS]

  it's too it's too much to explain to get [TS]

  it right I think you just got to go out [TS]

  in the street take your clothes off [TS]

  throw a trashcan through the window and [TS]

  burn it down because it's hard to [TS]

  identify what your hoodie and otherwise [TS]

  naked you wouldn't hoodie [TS]

  ah you know there was a time when I [TS]

  would have worn for nobody but now I [TS]

  think you just you just get you just get [TS]

  naked and it because here's the thing [TS]

  about I'm about what's wrong with having [TS]

  a chance to get naked it's interesting [TS]

  to think about burning a restaurant down [TS]

  and get naked first people are less [TS]

  likely to grab you people are less [TS]

  likely to grab a naked guy first of all [TS]

  that's why you're like you're like the [TS]

  Iron Sheik you got no hair to grab grab [TS]

  your ass good clothes off and then you [TS]

  automatically got a circle of you got it [TS]

  you got it like a buffer zone of 20 feet [TS]

  where where most white hats most good [TS]

  Samaritans are not going to break that [TS]

  barrier with a naked guy and definitely [TS]

  when they're gonna think twice and [TS]

  possibly six times [TS]

  yeah a guy that would otherwise flying [TS]

  tackle you before you burn this [TS]

  restaurant down is going to stop at that [TS]

  20-foot line and go I see if it's in [TS]

  nervous-looking teenager who's got like [TS]

  a cannon gasps and looks like they [TS]

  masturbate a lot [TS]

  I think that kid gets a fucking flying [TS]

  tackle and gets into cloth super [TS]

  trinkets that kid in the clock good and [TS]

  fast baby so I think if you see a man [TS]

  with a lot of dignity for a minute here [TS]

  and a middle-aged man with a lot of [TS]

  technique does his own haircuts little [TS]

  tall me and he is out there with his [TS]

  justice to either this chin up and his [TS]

  chest out [TS]

  second it's got a little bit probably [TS]

  could have a driver's license got in [TS]

  case somebody's taking pictures or if [TS]

  you think there's not ladies out there [TS]

  who like firebugs when they come [TS]

  Firebirds what they call them by our [TS]

  firebugs firebugs ok you know I their [TS]

  thing is there are ladies that like [TS]

  Firebirds to and if you have a firebird [TS]

  trans by a fire about 3am especially you [TS]

  know and it's like my girls this is my [TS]

  friday night is a good date night [TS]

  because the the gene pool is a little [TS]

  bit limited i'm not saying this genetic [TS]

  difference but a lot of people are at [TS]

  home not enjoying their air conditioning [TS]

  and not driving their cars so anyway the [TS]

  point was that if you have the acetic [TS]

  ambulance you could maybe have a [TS]

  self-driving ambulance now what if you [TS]

  all what about this what about you got [TS]

  to go paddles clear what do you do when [TS]

  you get to resuscitate somebody with the [TS]

  paddles like I think you're I think [TS]

  you're you're were all the way it would [TS]

  we can't go like into details now [TS]

  there's got to be some this is all the [TS]

  book it's got to be in a book [TS]

  there's gotta be some way around the [TS]

  Hasidic ambulance service but here's the [TS]

  problem with you and with pickles [TS]

  the problem with are trying to [TS]

  understand the Hasidic community is that [TS]

  they don't go online and tell you all [TS]

  about themselves [TS]

  you know what I mean like it Orthodox [TS]

  people of all stripes are generally not [TS]

  interested in letting you know all their [TS]

  the peccadilloes who because you know [TS]

  there's a kind of I think as as religion [TS]

  gets more orthodox people are less [TS]

  interested in converting other people [TS]

  and more interested in just blowing it [TS]

  up especially and i don't mean this [TS]

  isn't and honestly I mean this isn't as [TS]

  an insult but especially as your [TS]

  community becomes a more closed one [TS]

  like amongst the friends if you more i [TS]

  think that his seed expect that's it [TS]

  that's it is a closed community by [TS]

  definition as you become more orthodox [TS]

  or your community becomes more insular [TS]

  what about Unitarians i do not know [TS]

  about Orthodox unitarianism i'm not sure [TS]

  i think unitarianism by definition does [TS]

  not allow for orthodoxy does it [TS]

  I just think it makes you a little [TS]

  faster because you know this is that [TS]

  they fuck like bunnies the Unitarians [TS]

  you get them in a lock-in and there's [TS]

  going to be some serious trouble you're [TS]

  going to want to fucking damp cloth and [TS]

  some dim lights because this here's the [TS]

  thing about unitarianism you get that [TS]

  song kumbaya [TS]

  I mean just saying those words i'm [TS]

  getting a little bit of a time it kind [TS]

  of sounds like come on my face a little [TS]

  bit who by are just like that means no [TS]

  my lord kumbaya kumbaya my lord [TS]

  huh somebody off of i come by and I was [TS]

  gonna laugh when I was Amy's come by [TS]

  here i think is what it means when I was [TS]

  a little kid my mom took us to church [TS]

  because she wanted me to know all the [TS]

  things about people about the world and [TS]

  we went to methodist church and uh huh [TS]

  o.o you got a problem with methods like [TS]

  a problem method as I got probably two [TS]

  threads i get a heat problem Baptist I [TS]

  got a lot of problems see you thinking [TS]

  and kinda just literally begging i could [TS]

  start our religion except as much as you [TS]

  need to tell this story but you know I [TS]

  in our long conversations I never get [TS]

  the chance to tell you how many [TS]

  religions I don't like it please [TS]

  continue [TS]

  well in any case that it was during this [TS]

  was in the seventies and so there was a [TS]

  famine in Ethiopia i think at the time [TS]

  and I think I hit the hip famine the [TS]

  seventies was China oh no there were [TS]

  some great African families it was it [TS]

  was but it was after by after i think [TS]

  but it was easy oh piya was the big [TS]

  famine that was the big unicef family at [TS]

  the early eighties yeah but um we had a [TS]

  we had a thing are a one time where we [TS]

  we made a we made like a it was [TS]

  basically a haunted house where you got [TS]

  down on your hands and knees and had to [TS]

  crawl through a succession of tunnels [TS]

  and the tunnels got smaller and smaller [TS]

  and smaller until you have to kind of [TS]

  push your way through this through the [TS]

  last stage of this tunnel [TS]

  and the idea was that that gave you a [TS]

  sense of what it was like to be starving [TS]

  that sounds like something that it is [TS]

  uniquely designed by someone who has [TS]

  never missed a meal [TS]

  you know what I mean like that my sense [TS]

  of this point when your body starts to [TS]

  break down and literally eat itself [TS]

  that's a lot like being in a two-bit [TS]

  church is a lot like being in a tube in [TS]

  the basement of the church on this was [TS]

  this was the yeah what is what I mean [TS]

  what you could you make any sense of [TS]

  that at all [TS]

  as a kid I could make no sense of it and [TS]

  I remember going through the tunnel and [TS]

  getting to the part that was tight [TS]

  it was not it wasn't like tight around [TS]

  my waist even it was just like tight [TS]

  around my shoulders as i pushed through [TS]

  this tube and I was like hmm [TS]

  this does not feel like being hungry and [TS]

  I came out the other side was like wow [TS]

  you know then there were a bunch of [TS]

  adults they're like yeah heavy stuff [TS]

  right right but that's not really really [TS]

  makes you think that it's so Sophie [TS]

  that's why we are raising money that's [TS]

  why we are collecting pennies and old [TS]

  newspapers for the people who think they [TS]

  I think now I'm not a Methodist by any [TS]

  means but I i could think of a a much [TS]

  more effective way to do that because [TS]

  what you always got snacks you got [TS]

  snacks and you get lunch let you know [TS]

  what it for the sake of argument even [TS]

  after the bell rang or the cross fellow [TS]

  whatever happens let you know the class [TS]

  is over [TS]

  like what if you just have them stay in [TS]

  there longer lately and like maybe four [TS]

  to six hours and you SAT there and ate [TS]

  in front of them maybe you know what [TS]

  maybe you get in the tube and make a [TS]

  yummy noise while you're having having [TS]

  food is going to amplify you know what I [TS]

  mean it's got like you have look at the [TS]

  gay a you know a plate reverb effect and [TS]

  the second when you get to eat i'm [TS]

  pretty sure that this so that that that [TS]

  the solution or or rather that the the [TS]

  ultimate goal should not be the ultimate [TS]

  goal in getting a group of seven year [TS]

  olds to empathize with people in [TS]

  Ethiopia should not be to try and get [TS]

  them to feel starving but it's so [TS]

  fucking white I think you think I mean [TS]

  it is so white to think that you cannot [TS]

  have [TS]

  empathy for other people without doing [TS]

  some kind of a firewalking our ropes [TS]

  course that's so stupid [TS]

  yeah well yeah sorry to hijack your [TS]

  point and no no I mean I and I mean I [TS]

  don't know I see this is it still [TS]

  happens all the time all these all these [TS]

  people who make documentary films about [TS]

  Africa and everybody talks about it on [TS]

  their facebook page so I yeah I mean I'm [TS]

  it's i think it's it's it's all just [TS]

  like crawling through a tube and trying [TS]

  to imagine that that's what being [TS]

  starving feels like it really really I'm [TS]

  you know I'm John I gotta tell you I'm [TS]

  gonna get a tube i'm going to think [TS]

  about it for a while may get in the tube [TS]

  you know what I'm gonna have an order a [TS]

  tube when I assumed there must be some [TS]

  kind of an online Methodist or i could [TS]

  get this and I'm sure portion of the [TS]

  proceeds go to charity whatever the fuck [TS]

  that means but i will order a tube and [TS]

  you can I just say I'm not going to tell [TS]

  them what size and war how tight i want [TS]

  it i'm gonna have arrived must think [TS]

  about it i'm gonna maybe i'll of course [TS]

  be eating copiously because that's what [TS]

  I'm able to do is I'm going to start a [TS]

  little too but you can put your finger [TS]

  in it you and your finger will feel like [TS]

  this tiny finger trap set ping-pong [TS]

  bigger box [TS]

  well my kid has a Chinese finger trap [TS]

  it's not that hard to get out of it if [TS]

  you really want to know [TS]

  xiii i'm not i'm not sure that the [TS]

  Chinese finger boxes and part of some [TS]

  kind of I think that's like a sex toy [TS]

  I should take that away from her yeah [TS]

  you should you should let her have been [TS]

  actually sniff it not but i think that [TS]

  tube arrives and I don't even know what [TS]

  to expect maybe it might be like an Iron [TS]

  Maiden inside [TS]

  i meanwhat here's what here here's how [TS]

  you here's how you simulate a family who [TS]

  you buy a tube or some rope and you you [TS]

  put the tube around yourself and you [TS]

  wrap the rope very tight around your [TS]

  middle right very as tight as you can [TS]

  and then you go outside and you sit in [TS]

  the Sun and you don't eat for a month [TS]

  and and then you'll uh so you're saying [TS]

  if you're gonna have this fake empathy [TS]

  yeah it should be it should be by way of [TS]

  something with it's truly an empathic [TS]

  which is putting yourself in that [TS]

  position [TS]

  well I know I don't even believe that [TS]

  because to go to choose to starve to [TS]

  death [TS]

  it gives my friend says you can't jump [TS]

  to join the proletariat like if you if [TS]

  you've got the safety net of knowing [TS]

  that you're in your backyard and can go [TS]

  inside and have a notch with i'm sorry i [TS]

  shouldn't say that you can go and have a [TS]

  snack anytime you feel like it uh-huh [TS]

  yeah exactly you it is not the same [TS]

  whether it's like it's like all this [TS]

  extreme sports stuff writers like [TS]

  anything like bungee jumping with all [TS]

  this fake peril [TS]

  you know what i mean it's it's this way [TS]

  of simulating this kind of you know and [TS]

  I think now we're getting further [TS]

  further into your personal wheelhouse I [TS]

  don't know where houses but i know you [TS]

  can be inside of it and you know the [TS]

  wheelhouses wheelhouse is the little [TS]

  house that sits up on top of a tugboat [TS]

  where the where the cat where that the [TS]

  tugboat driver is and it's just a little [TS]

  you know like the there's not a large [TS]

  cabin it's just a little box with a [TS]

  window where the where the guy that [TS]

  steering the tugboat since and I guess [TS]

  that then extends to any any place on a [TS]

  boat where the steering wheel is for the [TS]

  boat and so that I think the metaphor of [TS]

  in my wheelhouse means like yeah I mean [TS]

  there's a lot of stuff that's on my boat [TS]

  but when you're in the wheelhouse you're [TS]

  really steering the boat at that point [TS]

  ok that makes first of all I want to say [TS]

  that i really want to stop using that [TS]

  phrase it's super super dumped you here [TS]

  all the time that's awful but so you're [TS]

  saying it's kinda like if you mention [TS]

  concentric circles [TS]

  this is very near the center of your [TS]

  expertise you've got a boat right right [TS]

  you got on the boat and had not know [TS]

  anything you're just riding the boat but [TS]

  ones here there's not room in the [TS]

  wheelhouse for somebody you can get hard [TS]

  owner of the boat but you're still not [TS]

  the captain you're still not in the [TS]

  wheel got it be in the well is there [TS]

  anywhere it tighter than the wheelhouse [TS]

  you can get into well you could be in [TS]

  the bilge but I don't think that's where [TS]

  you want to be on a boat [TS]

  ok that was a slurry goes that's where [TS]

  the slurry goes that's where the that's [TS]

  where the oil around [TS]

  I don't know there's something about [TS]

  maids and i'm not talking about the [TS]

  french maids that the french maid thing [TS]

  I got that isn't about dirty maids come [TS]

  aids that are on their hands and knees [TS]

  with your hands and knees scrubbing and [TS]

  squeezing the shit out of some mosques [TS]

  rubbing a stone floor right this is the [TS]

  thing if I was a very very very wealthy [TS]

  perfect like Arnold Schwarzenegger had a [TS]

  baby with his with those made right now [TS]

  that's the kind of opportunity that [TS]

  right well except if you're a super rich [TS]

  guy why would you not present yourself [TS]

  with that opportunity at every up at [TS]

  every opportunity [TS]

  why would you not staff your house with [TS]

  a bunch of 21 year-old Ecuadorian maids [TS]

  pathway wife lives though [TS]

  well I mean clk know if I could say that [TS]

  I talked about the wife that well this [TS]

  takes us back to the pedicure problem if [TS]

  you discover that there are many many [TS]

  Hondurans in your home and they haven't [TS]

  seemed exhausted and their knees hurting [TS]

  aren't scrubbing anything that's [TS]

  something you need to look into I I [TS]

  don't want to make this super weird [TS]

  it seems to me that there are a lot of [TS]

  people that live inside the wire that [TS]

  neither air-conditioning turned on and [TS]

  then there's a lot of rich guys would [TS]

  like to diddle made so I'm thinking [TS]

  maybe you hire your acetic made and you [TS]

  trade that for Arnold Schwarzenegger to [TS]

  come and turn your location on so you [TS]

  know I really specific may die i think [TS]

  that is not a good stratospheric maybe a [TS]

  date like eight a maid who would work [TS]

  for these folks you know it was you [TS]

  because you have a go animate is that [TS]

  allowed [TS]

  oh absolutely i think that that's [TS]

  referred you prefer you see what I'm [TS]

  saying they do little switcheroo you say [TS]

  i scratch my back you you get you get a [TS]

  handy from a lady who knows how to [TS]

  squeeze them op but you come over here [TS]

  right [TS]

  you flip on the air for maybe maybe you [TS]

  get out you get a look at phone just for [TS]

  the purpose but that way you're both [TS]

  good you can go over and docs on during [TS]

  lady that works for the Jutes and they [TS]

  get to have their air-conditioned come [TS]

  on because you're not the governor [TS]

  anymore and your wife is super mad at [TS]

  you looks a little bit like a box that's [TS]

  I'm just saying like that this is the [TS]

  kind of thing that we could be using the [TS]

  internet for instead of just sitting [TS]

  around stars and shit [TS]

  it is the it's the rare it is the rare [TS]

  tirade from you where I do not [TS]

  understand any of the the logical leaps [TS]

  that you're making but that was 13 [TS]

  around this way reading something [TS]

  how does one where i know i was at a [TS]

  certain point I stopped reading and I [TS]

  and I'll it leaned back in my chair to [TS]

  concentrate on what you were saying [TS]

  occasion [TS]

  I think I'm not break this down for you [TS]

  i'm a break this down for you know I [TS]

  think I get the gonna get the just think [TS]

  you get anything like it just I think [TS]

  you're far outside your wheelhouse and [TS]

  may have fallen off your fucking belt [TS]

  stone soup here's the thing [TS]

  no you three carats you bring carrots [TS]

  right off they bring salary which [TS]

  doesn't really help all that much [TS]

  somebody else brings I sumeet 1i bring [TS]

  the stone I always bring the stone to [TS]

  store was like stone soup with a [TS]

  scullery maid and an air-conditioned you [TS]

  know right I know it is it's a lot like [TS]

  film noir you know film noir there's [TS]

  there's a lot of like oh I'll kill this [TS]

  old strangers on a train train train [TS]

  right that the 1i don't know no matter [TS]

  where you are now for the ok so I'm [TS]

  sorry instead of strange country have [TS]

  your own space rocket somewhere hot [TS]

  throw momma from the train i will kill [TS]

  the person that annoys you [TS]

  you kill the person that annoys me we're [TS]

  both better off up from a train and we [TS]

  got plausible deniability this is [TS]

  Hitchcock thing I don't see what you're [TS]

  saying I got Kara I'm with you it's a [TS]

  Hitchcock thing is actually doing so [TS]

  much better if you were sleeping [TS]

  not really it's not difficult to [TS]

  understand if you're Jewish person lives [TS]

  in Miami inside of a wire and you want [TS]

  your air conditioning turn on all you do [TS]

  is find a very rich man was too fucking [TS]

  maid and then you swap that was [TS]

  plausible deniability that's in the [TS]

  Talmud hey you know I need my medication [TS]

  adjusted which one [TS]

  uh-huh how the ones you haven't started [TS]

  taking it back to your make-believe [TS]

  medication us need the medication i'm [TS]

  not taking adjusted it could be critical [TS]

  but josh is a rich tradition now I have [TS]

  a lot of respect for Judaism like for [TS]

  realsies like I there's a lot about it [TS]

  that I think is really really [TS]

  interesting and ensure that they're [TS]

  thrilled to get your endorsement 4lz [TS]

  care [TS]

  Marilyn man thinks it's alright for [TS]

  realsies they can put that pool they [TS]

  could put that on their homepage they [TS]

  don't have homepage now listen I don't [TS]

  know why whenever I imitating a old [TS]

  Jewish man i speak liked mba from there [TS]

  on the roof but it's because that's [TS]

  really that's cool with you [TS]

  once approximation yeah sure thats [TS]

  that's an Eastern Europe right I was uh [TS]

  I was listening to a podcast and there [TS]

  was Merlin men and he said he thinks [TS]

  that it's okay a lot of things use it [TS]

  like a lonely eleven-year-old boy [TS]

  impersonating Jackie Mason up [TS]

  that's so true that is just how I now [TS]

  happy every morning I wake up and I'm [TS]

  like okay eleven-year-old boy who lives [TS]

  inside me already [TS]

  siren pretend that were Jackie Mason [TS]

  especially given how little respect and [TS]

  more importantly enjoyment you have it [TS]

  literally everything that I do i will [TS]

  someday tell you the story of the church [TS]

  talent show where you located Jackie [TS]

  Mason and 11 when you're 11 is much much [TS]

  worse much much much worse my mom [TS]

  basically read that libretto shoot the [TS]

  script for it and it was it was a lot [TS]

  like you know you ever seen one of those [TS]

  like meta meta meta eighties comic [TS]

  things with guys like I was a rather [TS]

  interesting party the other night and I [TS]

  saw something and he turns and put his [TS]

  hands on respect and value comes back [TS]

  he's doing impersonations they're not [TS]

  money but i did that i did a tour de [TS]

  force [TS]

  I don't have time for this today but i [TS]

  did a 24 series of impersonations that [TS]

  was excruciating always all based on [TS]

  ideas no no no witch witch tiny like it [TS]

  it was it was all based on ideas from my [TS]

  mom so mom 11 about 11 and the one I [TS]

  brought to the ID table with the idea of [TS]

  the very old man the tim conway he does [TS]

  not count brunette with shackles right [TS]

  right [TS]

  mhm the dorf yes [TS]

  fair enough yes yes but i also did I did [TS]

  I did a lot of I did a lot of the folks [TS]

  that people in the late seventies would [TS]

  be familiar with enjoy ! westerbrook I [TS]

  didn't know I did good you did Jimmy [TS]

  Durante [TS]

  oh yeah that's good Jimmy Durante [TS]

  impersonation i did a I did a jack benny [TS]

  impersonation [TS]

  now here's the here's the problem with [TS]

  our generation i was speaking [TS]

  specifically about the window of [TS]

  generation that includes you and me [TS]

  right is the window that you yell at the [TS]

  meter made out of is a window out of [TS]

  which you demonstrate your enemies [TS]

  birthday when is the metaphorical window [TS]

  out of which the Millennials are [TS]

  literally throwing themselves [TS]

  this is the judge this is the window of [TS]

  people who were born between mansion so [TS]

  it could also be the homosexual sylhet [TS]

  you like to sit on [TS]

  what you know what makes lightly okay [TS]

  that's it that's the one nowhere captain [TS]

  son fell out into it into the street I [TS]

  say that my daughter she's too close to [TS]

  window I said no classes no Clapton's [TS]

  languages like ups and no whammies will [TS]

  cut that out haha oh she doesn't know I [TS]

  mean so Clapton's there are so many [TS]

  times in a day when I would want when I [TS]

  feel like no Clapton's is the thing to [TS]

  say [TS]

  like when I go to a show I I regret on [TS]

  stage I'm like no clouds no Clapton's [TS]

  not the one hand it's great that I will [TS]

  forget to cut this out on the other hand [TS]

  that is in such incredibly poor taste [TS]

  and on the third the third miss shapen [TS]

  hand [TS]

  it'sit's relations that can't be the [TS]

  title this episode go clapping clapping [TS]

  slow clapping of options but i but I [TS]

  welcome oh no here's the thing about the [TS]

  about the window of our generation is [TS]

  yours and mine which is even started [TS]

  special powers for windows the the the [TS]

  people that were born between 1965 in [TS]

  whoo-hoo when Gary when we were nine [TS]

  years old we were imitating Jackie Mason [TS]

  yeah bell but uh definitely check me [TS]

  everybody had to Jack Bellamy yeah uh [TS]

  all these TV stars of the fifties right [TS]

  to meet those people were all those [TS]

  people were already 25 years in the past [TS]

  Groucho Marx move we were given you AI [TS]

  was I was 11 when he died our comedy [TS]

  heroes [TS]

  yeah where it would be like kids today [TS]

  11 year old kids today imitating Sam [TS]

  Kinison imitating like the the stand-up [TS]

  comics of the early eighties like I [TS]

  guess so but it was also has a smaller [TS]

  world and we talked to you last week on [TS]

  our previous episode is not only a time [TS]

  this timeless so you can listen any of [TS]

  them anytime but it's also partly [TS]

  changing channels on 213 right he had [TS]

  and so I I didn't follow up with after [TS]

  you after your discussion that but we [TS]

  had we had ABC NBC CBS we have behind us [TS]

  well that was sewn on the UHF we have [TS]

  five which is NBC nine which is CBS and [TS]

  12 which was ABC that was it that was it [TS]

  and if you get dating onto pretty good [TS]

  doing to you are you could maybe watch [TS]

  like things in a slightly different time [TS]

  but uhf we [TS]

  add wxyyx I can you guess what wa [TS]

  channel number w xix was because it's [TS]

  rather clever nine gonna try again xix [TS]

  Oh 19 channel 19 how great is that [TS]

  that's brilliant that's independent to [TS]

  write creature feature and shit and then [TS]

  you have fucking like 48 or something [TS]

  was was PBS but that was an attack we [TS]

  didn't have the most you have no PBS not [TS]

  not an angry did but PBS was a normal [TS]

  like turn to PBS in a non-normal channel [TS]

  this channel seven holy shit that's some [TS]

  serious money cross hands for that to [TS]

  happen John [TS]

  well 4848 for PBS belongs let's be [TS]

  honest if you want you should really [TS]

  have to get channel 70 I still feel like [TS]

  Channel Seven's BBS I still feel like [TS]

  what it's like challenges dayton yeah [TS]

  don't tell me that was going to guide or [TS]

  the teacher is NBC image [TS]

  um dayton I'm gonna go back in the stack [TS]

  a minute dating the problem with windows [TS]

  windows also here's the thing the world [TS]

  was smaller right I won't use your [TS]

  member ID like to remind you you should [TS]

  quit dicking around those music bullshit [TS]

  and become as you know you are fated to [TS]

  be the Charles Nelson Reilly of our [TS]

  generation [TS]

  you should be out there having had a [TS]

  career that was somewhat distinguished [TS]

  for a time and then you appear on talk [TS]

  shows he whatever the version that [TS]

  today's you should be but you're right [TS]

  my problem with being with Charles [TS]

  Nelson Reilly of our generation you know [TS]

  is that he was not at all man he's [TS]

  pretty tall [TS]

  Charles Nelson Reilly i think is pretty [TS]

  was tall it's pretty tall you know he [TS]

  had a one-man show [TS]

  it's pretty funny it's on the Netflix [TS]

  you can watch it's called life of riley [TS]

  and it's a one-man show is a very [TS]

  interesting guy [TS]

  here's the first action as homosexual [TS]

  well in that sense where the same [TS]

  mhm he was going on education you know [TS]

  what Paul and is very sad very sad story [TS]

  about pollen I loved poland i love [TS]

  pollen he was also homosexual and his [TS]

  his partner is not very fairly [TS]

  exaggeratedly homosexual he was but his [TS]

  partners 19 funny his partner fell out [TS]

  of a window in Santa at a hotel in Nob [TS]

  Hill is not often had to live with that [TS]

  all rights I hate the stories of couples [TS]

  where one person dies you know like Buck [TS]

  Owens those are those sad stories did [TS]

  you know that buck on ya bought the [TS]

  second-ever moge synthesizer [TS]

  not only did I not know that I'm just [TS]

  having so much trouble processing that [TS]

  you're talking about 360 what five six [TS]

  seven [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeahs the second-ever one [TS]

  solo I figured it would be a very rich [TS]

  eccentric and maybe someone German no no [TS]

  the first one is all let's follow you [TS]

  know if you did Les Paul II believe it [TS]

  right but it was buck owens i think the [TS]

  first one went to that person who did [TS]

  switched on Bach Wendy Walter honest [TS]

  Williams yeah Wendy Carlos Williams and [TS]

  and the third one went to madison is a [TS]

  man on his legs or something like that [TS]

  because but the second one but the [TS]

  second one I know [TS]

  oh I'm sorry you said when you want to [TS]

  carlos williams let me Carlos Williams [TS]

  got the first one and the third one went [TS]

  to mickey dolenz but the second one went [TS]

  to pluck oh that's so take that thing [TS]

  that you can imagine how much it sucks [TS]

  to be micky dolenz like the higher up he [TS]

  went the more he still couldn't really [TS]

  play drums and drug you know driving me [TS]

  nuts it drove him crazy that he couldn't [TS]

  really play drums yeah I'm gonna get [TS]

  like that if you have moments like that [TS]

  in your life in your wheelhouse you talk [TS]

  about where Pete where where I was it [TS]

  was driven crazy by being unable to play [TS]

  drums or where I make you some dinner [TS]

  I'm just saying all like maybe play a [TS]

  little bit too loud no no I mean I i [TS]

  have known some drummers who is fine me [TS]

  and you feel very successful in rock [TS]

  music in spite of the fact that they [TS]

  don't know how to play drums in your [TS]

  saturday drivers you think [TS]

  no no fastbacks always a great drummer [TS]

  so yeah they did a friend did your [TS]

  friend Jason play in the first place of [TS]

  the aspects [TS]

  how many people do you know that a plate [TS]

  personally if you can say how many [TS]

  people do you personally know if you [TS]

  that you can think of who played drums [TS]

  in the fastbacks you know that jason guy [TS]

  there's the guy that played in the long [TS]

  winters what's his head Mike mossberg [TS]

  Musburger was here it was super target [TS]

  one time he was not in superchunk I [TS]

  don't think although Mike musburger's [TS]

  plate Mike mark between Mike's burger [TS]

  and Jason they played in every single [TS]

  band will see from the South who must [TS]

  burger is he always from Seattle [TS]

  Thank You Seattle duff mckagan played [TS]

  drums in the fastback [TS]

  very hard to believe early incarnation [TS]

  of the fastbacks I mystical white hair [TS]

  that was in it for a long time lucky [TS]

  rusty what was his name [TS]

  I don't know if that I saw an [TS]

  infographic once I don't care for [TS]

  infographics i'm done with them is a [TS]

  great infographic once about how many [TS]

  drummers were in the fastbacks and win [TS]

  and it was laugh-out-loud funny [TS]

  yeah yeah kerplunk the Connecticut block [TS]

  he always played guitar d ever have to [TS]

  say he can play drums right they had to [TS]

  sub on drums block it was the lead [TS]

  guitarist and I don't think he ever [TS]

  played the drums you know and I met him [TS]

  yeah remember that i do remember the [TS]

  only greatest nights of my life [TS]

  introduced me to her pumps [TS]

  I'm so glad so glad he's a lovely man i [TS]

  went to see cheap trick with him a [TS]

  couple of nights ago [TS]

  are you kidding me i don't care about [TS]

  cheap trick and I don't get about Kurt [TS]

  blah [TS]

  are you the one that told me about the [TS]

  cheap trick John Lennon thing was that [TS]

  you [TS]

  what's the cheap trick John Lennon thing [TS]

  so it wasn't you 1980 they're doing that [TS]

  that pretty good last album he did half [TS]

  of its good let's put it that way and [TS]

  I'm losing you that song you arm he i'm [TS]

  not sure exactly how this work but stood [TS]

  there is a true story you'll hear the [TS]

  song i'll send you this video [TS]

  momentarily he called in cheap trick [TS]

  what funny Carlos and Rick Nielson came [TS]

  in in the studio already there were tony [TS]

  levin and not George Martin but George [TS]

  somebody playing keyboards & Johnson [TS]

  here's the song they learn it [TS]

  Rick wrote the riff basic bun says how [TS]

  do you replace this play however you [TS]

  want and what they ripped into I'm [TS]

  losing you that you know that awesome [TS]

  bridge [TS]

  bridge [TS]

  it's it sounds like a fucking cheap it's [TS]

  a cheap that sounds like basically a [TS]

  cheap Trick's long you know and she [TS]

  tricked already sounds like the beatles [TS]

  in the movies that's cool [TS]

  it sounds like a cheap trick song which [TS]

  online singing and it's fucking great [TS]

  incredible I've never heard that would [TS]

  you like would you like me to pause the [TS]

  podcast that you can listen to it [TS]

  no no i think i will listen to it at the [TS]

  at the end of the podcast is tony levin [TS]

  tony levin you know I is playing the [TS]

  Chairman's turkey was not he's playing a [TS]

  friendly space which is the Chapman [TS]

  Stick of base right here play Chapman [TS]

  Stick i have not although john [TS]

  vanderslice in the very early days of my [TS]

  association with him has been challenged [TS]

  like an analog one yet he had an analog [TS]

  Chapman Stick yeah he had a German stick [TS]

  player in his band [TS]

  oh and this was during a time when [TS]

  vanderslice he did two things he always [TS]

  sat in a chair and he always set over to [TS]

  the side of the stage this was [TS]

  defecation now this is early days early [TS]

  days this MKULTRA or running on its [TS]

  after MKULTRA so not early days [TS]

  vanderslice but early days in me me [TS]

  knowing them Chapman Stick player and he [TS]

  SAT over to the side of the stage in a [TS]

  chair while the Chapman Stick player sat [TS]

  in the center of the stage and play the [TS]

  Chapman Stick and made I have to say [TS]

  some of the greatest bass faces I've [TS]

  ever seen in the history of rock they [TS]

  will let you have one first of all is a [TS]

  checklist hi welcome welcome please come [TS]

  in is your head shape yes remember the [TS]

  committee the german-speaking have the [TS]

  Chapman Stick they caught you exactly [TS]

  they this difficult to stick shoppy you [TS]

  go in there first of all is your head [TS]

  shape yes you have not [TS]

  yes you have what a goatee go to your [TS]

  funny mustache that weird weird weird [TS]

  hair if you were killed [TS]

  especially the utilikilt extra points [TS]

  actually for teva sandals come on in [TS]

  right if you wear if you wear leggings [TS]

  and leg warmers over the top of those [TS]

  over like a pole climbing boots that [TS]

  jewelry here in like fingers locti with [TS]

  it [TS]

  what about turquoise turquoise indian [TS]

  jewellery lots of jewelry as much [TS]

  jewelry as you can wear and earplugs [TS]

  but this job is dead so he sat on a [TS]

  chair like he did a fripp basically he [TS]

  did he did a strip yeah and your friend [TS]

  football we sit on a chair like in the [TS]

  dark you can't even see him when his [TS]

  plan [TS]

  yeah this was that this was during that [TS]

  era of indie rock early early 2000 [TS]

  where the big question was you know is [TS]

  standing in the middle of the stage to [TS]

  rock [TS]

  oh it and what I'm talking about like [TS]

  irony at this point like that your pals [TS]

  and presidents of the USA where like [TS]

  that was a alright we even weird out [TS]

  that's like I ronica people people were [TS]

  at this point there's one more about [TS]

  authenticity [TS]

  yeah there was no irony about it was [TS]

  like if you are the singer and you stand [TS]

  in the middle then you are being too [TS]

  singer and you need to like go sit out [TS]

  you need to stand over on the side a [TS]

  couple years before you got like the the [TS]

  for the strokes caught on the murder [TS]

  city devils whatever the fuck all those [TS]

  different like I guess I guess not red [TS]

  cross but what was the other three guys [TS]

  with Russia glasses didn't done urge [TS]

  overkill I guess I'll nineties that was [TS]

  early early days but you know it's [TS]

  almost like it was like the way Punk was [TS]

  kind of reaction to all those bands we [TS]

  like you know what I mean in fact you [TS]

  think that was an authenticity think [TS]

  backlash Nirvana's over this is the end [TS]

  the dot-com what I got nothing [TS]

  yeah indie rock was any rocket in its [TS]

  early stages was was almost entirely [TS]

  reactionary it was like it was it was [TS]

  like a kind of proto fascism there will [TS]

  not a terrific time for indie rock [TS]

  no well and it was it was not a perfect [TS]

  time to be in India rather but like also [TS]

  like it was right around the next time i [TS]

  guess probably unrelated but like I [TS]

  think about all my favorite bands from [TS]

  like one from one seriously from 5125 [TS]

  years earlier like bands i like a year [TS]

  earlier like elliott smith's record was [TS]

  like not that great [TS]

  Superchunk was not moving me like they [TS]

  were you know I'm saying got my voices [TS]

  and that's kind of when I stopped was [TS]

  around then but you know what i mean [TS]

  like all these while these bands that [TS]

  for like it like five to ten years there [TS]

  is a consistent stream of bands to just [TS]

  put out an album after payment payment [TS]

  broke up I've got all these bands that I [TS]

  don't feel like these bands like that [TS]

  was after the second creeper lagoon [TS]

  record all of everything went into [TS]

  hibernation huh [TS]

  and that was when they were good they [TS]

  were awful good yeah well maybe [TS]

  everybody's friends with them write your [TS]

  body from the noise pop OH everybody's [TS]

  friends with those girls but that was [TS]

  when I associate you gotta you gotta go [TS]

  inside my appearance that was when I [TS]

  came out [TS]

  so that's right it's just like it was [TS]

  just like coming-of-age sexually in the [TS]

  early nineties when at the height of [TS]

  third-generation feminism it was the [TS]

  wrong time to come out it was the wrong [TS]

  time to be a young man i'm gonna click [TS]

  microphone cut out because there's just [TS]

  not a chance in the fucking world [TS]

  I'm gonna respond yellow alone let alone [TS]

  ask any questions about there's no way [TS]

  as it went when I when we had our baby [TS]

  us there are families kind of throw a [TS]

  baby shower and we're going to see your [TS]

  family was kind enough to throw you a [TS]

  baby I was like you didn't have that [TS]

  baby yourself [TS]

  long story long story and they started [TS]

  this tradition part of its it may be [TS]

  made of jute and had to be thrown from [TS]

  the building for the elevator why would [TS]

  have started a fire [TS]

  now we show up and my brother like him i [TS]

  love is so awesome you sitting out there [TS]

  is already three sheets to the wind any [TS]

  standing out there and he's like enjoy [TS]

  it while you can because energy turns [TS]

  when she turns about 11 boy not going to [TS]

  be not gonna be fine you tell me stories [TS]

  about like when the test was sexting you [TS]

  get the sexting sexting sorry right and [TS]

  he taught me rephrase that his did me [TS]

  well and well before I had a daughter [TS]

  this is a phrase that is this to stood [TS]

  well there is no good that can come of [TS]

  it right there are things in the world [TS]

  from which good is likely to come there [TS]

  are things in the world that may create [TS]

  something that's neutral but there are [TS]

  things in the world where no good can [TS]

  come of it how do you know he doesn't [TS]

  know I know you're not a man deals in [TS]

  absolutes [TS]

  no I like that phrase though well here's [TS]

  here's it this is this is just occurred [TS]

  to me recently as the father of a [TS]

  daughter that's fun but hard right [TS]

  bikinis man bikinis at what point now as [TS]

  an adult male pres and certainly as [TS]

  somebody who used to not have a daughter [TS]

  who i was very Pro bikinis sure it's a [TS]

  second is this is it's the second best [TS]

  thing to be in there right right [TS]

  bikinis I'm i am wonder if you had asked [TS]

  me three years ago [TS]

  how do you feel about bikinis i would [TS]

  say 100-percent pro between you wouldn't [TS]

  have to pause at all don't even have to [TS]

  think about ok but now I have a daughter [TS]

  now my feelings about bikinis are fairly [TS]

  complicated if you said how do you feel [TS]

  about bikinis I would go to hell [TS]

  wait a minute who are we talking about [TS]

  here who and and and how I do that now [TS]

  to its horrifying [TS]

  personally I feel like bikinis like [TS]

  there's a lot to be said for not bikinis [TS]

  I have a lot to be said for robes John [TS]

  I've never been in my life that you know [TS]

  i'm i'm mostly like you know a dickless [TS]

  wonder but really I've never been so [TS]

  grateful to have no libido is now it's [TS]

  an M except for watching greys involving [TS]

  I can't get into that but it is really [TS]

  here's the thing here's my thought on [TS]

  this i totally agree with you I think [TS]

  about all the time now and I think what [TS]

  happens is that for you for four gears [TS]

  44 probably arguably you're the [TS]

  historian here i'm gonna say arguably [TS]

  for millennia men have been scared that [TS]

  their daughters have vaginas and [TS]

  potholes i think that is funny that [TS]

  listen that's a concern right now here's [TS]

  the thing sixties come along [TS]

  we're blowing stuff up with bombs we [TS]

  discovered the bikini islands and the [TS]

  the atoll writ large and they give it [TS]

  the look at the beginning so now she's [TS]

  got a butt and we will and she's wearing [TS]

  almost nothing [TS]

  ok you ready for this now ready for this [TS]

  you ready for stage 3 [TS]

  I don't know lower back tattoos oh so [TS]

  now you've got you've got a vagina but [TS]

  you bring almost nothing and now you're [TS]

  wearing that the bikini arguably so that [TS]

  people can see you have the terrible [TS]

  terrible judgment to get a tramp stamp [TS]

  and they still they still have a but he [TS]

  made you feel like that that's the [TS]

  thumbnail sketch of history i'm not [TS]

  saying that's what I think the fur [TS]

  millennia and then there was the bikini [TS]

  and then tramp stamp [TS]

  well I mean I don't follow football by [TS]

  Miller an onside kick is understand i'll [TS]

  see now here's the thing John [TS]

  now now i want to lose you now I now [TS]

  you've got you challenged me to [TS]

  potentially lose you and and most of the [TS]

  most of the the gates that keep the [TS]

  salmon from walking up the steps are [TS]

  about to fall down and arms a little [TS]

  trying to work out that Arnold [TS]

  Schwarzenegger the julie has more time [TS]

  no no I don't wanna I don't wanna I [TS]

  don't step 0 your Arnold Schwarzenegger [TS]

  know when somebody from Central America [TS]

  you're going just not like this go back [TS]

  to onside kick [TS]

  i I'm terrified now about bikinis [TS]

  I don't want to be the dad that's like [TS]

  no bikinis but i also don't ever want [TS]

  her to wear bikini [TS]

  and I don't think I don't think those [TS]

  are incompatible I think that's what [TS]

  everybody gets whatever he is what every [TS]

  right-thinking man believes in his [TS]

  wheelhouse [TS]

  yeah so but I don't know how to affect [TS]

  that I don't have to be the dad it's [TS]

  like yeah I'd like you don't care you [TS]

  got it's like offering wine at dinner [TS]

  my daughter will never ever ever find [TS]

  out how much I hate tattoos because you [TS]

  know why should we use it against me [TS]

  thank you I you know I described to [TS]

  people sometimes because they don't [TS]

  understand you have to describe I've [TS]

  described historic what do you say you [TS]

  really want to know yeah let's hear it [TS]

  well setting aside all the nice things i [TS]

  say about you which is you know never [TS]

  said otherwise i would you repeat that [TS]

  because you're one of my best friends [TS]

  with people i admire most in the world [TS]

  despite the fact you're kind of a dick [TS]

  mom easily one of my best friends and [TS]

  favorite people but I see what's hard is [TS]

  kind of hard to understand John until [TS]

  you've been in a room with him and I was [TS]

  like because it's john you recognize the [TS]

  system [TS]

  mhm well I mean assuming he hasn't had a [TS]

  chance to bathe which is a good [TS]

  assumption it's wednesday i said you [TS]

  know that phrase where they say like you [TS]

  know shark smelling blood and water that [TS]

  John has that on a much higher level in [TS]

  a shark [TS]

  I said because here's the thing there [TS]

  are a lot of people who will figure out [TS]

  how to needle you but John's playing on [TS]

  another level [TS]

  it's like fighting dr. X in the astral [TS]

  plane right jon is going to notice [TS]

  something that you didn't even realize [TS]

  you're self-conscious about yet and [TS]

  without specifically calling out you [TS]

  will cry by the time the parties not [TS]

  even over and then you'll do it more [TS]

  oh but you know what am I wrong and then [TS]

  it's all in service of helping of from [TS]

  freeing them from the from marin [TS]

  security to nothing out there where it [TS]

  happened now you sound like a sex guru [TS]

  swimmin titan here if you can if you [TS]

  know like a lot of people have a lot of [TS]

  people have gifts so some people can [TS]

  throw a football for people i can do the [TS]

  math do an onside kick some people can [TS]

  do onside kick some people are very very [TS]

  good at at the balance beam scullery [TS]

  some people discoveries wiring adg [TS]

  wiring and if and if if if God gave me [TS]

  anything it was the ability to look at [TS]

  someone a and in a very short amount of [TS]

  time [TS]

  figure out what their greatest fear [TS]

  about themselves [TS]

  so what we're supposed to do with that [TS]

  was it just be like oh well you're like [TS]

  you're like a doctor that could smell [TS]

  cancer looking to say could I have [TS]

  another Heineken know you're going to [TS]

  say give me a scalpel lay down and let [TS]

  me really smell that shit you know your [TS]

  greatest fear is that's what people see [TS]

  I think you I think you do that you're [TS]

  like Milton Berle you take out just [TS]

  enough to beat them and that's what I [TS]

  love about it though and it's and the [TS]

  other thing is you don't you're every [TS]

  Bell in most other people are perturbed [TS]

  below like your your paternal in your [TS]

  way but mostly if you're just not you [TS]

  know it having a good night but [TS]

  generally your imperturbable and it's [TS]

  very scary to people about you told an [TS]

  anecdote a few weeks ago about the [TS]

  person who is correcting what you meant [TS]

  to say about somebody and I could [TS]

  literally could see standing there [TS]

  kind of smiling but stone still not [TS]

  responding in any way but literally just [TS]

  standing and looking at the person and [TS]

  it is showing its absolutely chilling [TS]

  right now you selling this is this holly [TS]

  jolly jobber lies Kirby's joint with the [TS]

  computer haha no my friend now know when [TS]

  John shows up at the party there's gonna [TS]

  be a lot of people crying well I try not [TS]

  to lie try not to take it all the way so [TS]

  that they're openly crying I'd like them [TS]

  to be crying quietly so I think you're [TS]

  really sure if it's true shame you're [TS]

  going to do in the bathroom [TS]

  oh I've had some chain full bathroom [TS]

  times [TS]

  that'll do pig but blender butchers I [TS]

  they say her name [TS]