Ep. 24: "The Wrong Mustache"

0:00:00hello hi John how are you hi Merlin I'm

0:00:08sorry again Ruben man i hate being late

0:00:12for things i know we were going to meet

0:00:15at eleven eleven now it's 1125 yeah we

0:00:18now but this podcast can be evergreen

0:00:19anymore all right

0:00:22oh geez I like I let a peek behind the

0:00:25curtain didn't I yeah

0:00:26now people realize that it's not

0:00:27happening simultaneously here's another

0:00:30piece here's another peek okay so a I

0:00:33hate being late for things and I'm sorry

0:00:34and our be computers fucking hate

0:00:38computers

0:00:38mhm oh boy now we're on a topic that we

0:00:41both agree on

0:00:42you know I I'm always late two things

0:00:46too

0:00:47we've talked about this many times yeah

0:00:49that you take you nine minutes and move

0:00:50to believe this is what makes the

0:00:52decision makes this such a compelling

0:00:53experience I think for our listeners

0:00:55that people are helping is that we are

0:00:57very different people you know and I you

0:00:59know I mean in some ways very different

0:01:01I'd say we were pretty different yeah I

0:01:03mean you know are we missing anything

0:01:0495% the same as chimps you and I both

0:01:08are 95% the same as chimps no I think

0:01:10it's more than that I think it's 90 I

0:01:12think it's 97.2 a set like a resistor or

0:01:16is that arithmetic arithmetic was an

0:01:19Aramaic an Aramaic scale on its air make

0:01:22your aromatically on Eric scale where

0:01:2597.2 53 actually it's mixolydian oh

0:01:29sorry i thought we're still in 15 time

0:01:31for the fridge and a light called the

0:01:33snake charmer time and we said hello I'm

0:01:36ritchie blackmore it's time to reset

0:01:38your clock that's not even funny you

0:01:40didn't I did he talks like that the

0:01:41American i don't think anybody talks

0:01:43like that the only be able to talk like

0:01:44that our community theater people who

0:01:46are trying to do a British accent my

0:01:49mother and I let my mother is alive

0:01:50directed a lot of place in Rhode Island

0:01:53you did who your mother-in-law my

0:01:56mother-in-law has a pistol you my

0:01:58mother-in-law that was all she is a

0:02:00pistol is oh darling

0:02:04oh how we never met your mother law now

0:02:06she's back you know she's back here she

0:02:08spent some of her time with family in

0:02:10Florida

0:02:11and other times with family around here

0:02:13so actually gonna go see her tomorrow

0:02:14which is really nice

0:02:15yeah we do i will need all be in the

0:02:17same place at the same time she should

0:02:19be a guest

0:02:20anyway you know a lot of people may not

0:02:22know because they have a life and they

0:02:24don't really research these things

0:02:26science science math a lot of people

0:02:30don't know those things

0:02:31everybody likes politics and nobody

0:02:32looks at civics can I just put it on a

0:02:34card

0:02:34oh my goodness that's a great statement

0:02:36mt11i meet your specific spod cast god

0:02:40damn it you're fucking right this is

0:02:42that this is a podcast about how to be a

0:02:44better citizen according to us and I'm a

0:02:46little bit offended when i go on itunes

0:02:48and it says that this is a personal

0:02:50journal file that was my choice would

0:02:52you rather go somewhere else it's yeah

0:02:53civics is a civics category or education

0:02:56religion

0:02:57mm-hmm I'm trying know what we take that

0:02:59up i come on out Patrick siblings

0:03:01personal journal I don't know that that

0:03:03just that sounds very sounds very you

0:03:06know what was that what was that thing

0:03:08that all the kids were doing lateral

0:03:09livejournal that's where I learned about

0:03:11you

0:03:12yeah i know that's where people talk

0:03:13about stuff I never joined a photograph

0:03:16of you before had any idea who you were

0:03:17you're holding snacks

0:03:18you're not alone whoo-ha other people

0:03:21have photographs of me because I because

0:03:24I'm an archetype I represent a certain

0:03:26kind of approachable cuddly bear

0:03:29yeah yeah I got the ball and statue

0:03:33crossing a statue and teddy bear lovable

0:03:35statuesque teddy bear vagina dentata a

0:03:39cross between a gazelle and a catfish

0:03:41whoo-hoo good eatin fish I that's just a

0:03:45guy selfish that's really more of a

0:03:47description of a baseball wife I've seen

0:03:50Richard got used to write about gazelle

0:03:51fish the silvery blue gazelle fish and

0:03:54shellfish development you know what

0:03:56here's the point that there's an image

0:03:58so the selfish belton that's another one

0:04:02of those great unmade not see Jerry

0:04:04Lewis movie about insufficient you go

0:04:07with the making it Boeing I am

0:04:10here's the thing what people may not

0:04:11realize this is an audio presentation

0:04:13but there is an image that is associated

0:04:15with our visits the I think you've seen

0:04:17before so it's a little logo for the

0:04:19show and you remember what that's from

0:04:21it

0:04:23it's a picture of you with some really

0:04:25creepy looking glasses and meet with a

0:04:27bad haircut looking at you and I took a

0:04:30photograph with my feature phone to call

0:04:31it I my flip phone in about 2,000 bone

0:04:3640,000 five and two photo of you and me

0:04:39at the ucsf computer store because my

0:04:44lady got a discount there and we want me

0:04:46about your computer that day that's a

0:04:48photograph of a camera taking a picture

0:04:50of us on a screen and i took a photo of

0:04:52it for no particular reason that was the

0:04:54early days of computers that could take

0:04:57photographs of you

0:04:58no no this was my fault oh yes so

0:05:00there's getting correct tops laptops

0:05:03that had a camera facing you might have

0:05:05been like a security camera a webcam

0:05:07like a copy underwear cam em because who

0:05:09now when week so we went in there and we

0:05:11got you a laptop a laptop computer and

0:05:15then that was a witch i still have to

0:05:18this thing

0:05:19yeah this is all dead now right 10

0:05:21minutes till it still works with just

0:05:22over in the corner because I got a I got

0:05:25an ipad yeah god you like it

0:05:29well I do like it but I don't like to

0:05:30advertise things understand but you have

0:05:32big if you have really big fingers

0:05:34remember during you i do you remember

0:05:36during the during the the nineties when

0:05:39bands would put a piece of black

0:05:40electrical tape over the fender logo on

0:05:43their guitars because they didn't want

0:05:44to be advertising you can tell that's a

0:05:46fender

0:05:47exactly Oh what kind of guitar is that

0:05:49oh my life is looking up on the

0:05:51headstock it has that headstock that's

0:05:53literally a fucking trademark offender

0:05:56nobody can tell

0:05:59hey sexy jagwire i'm driving a Jaguar

0:06:01but I put black tape over the little

0:06:03fucking cat it's a Les Paul but a but

0:06:06it's yeah i did my camera when you put a

0:06:09piece of black electrical tape over the

0:06:10word casio well I read about this and at

0:06:13first I thought it was a douche thing

0:06:15and then i thought was kind of smart and

0:06:17cool and now i think it might be do you

0:06:18think it's still kinda cool so he knows

0:06:20it's not using shaving cream so the Viet

0:06:22Cong can smell you that it's you know

0:06:24what can I just say it is almost exactly

0:06:26that

0:06:27not really but kind of almost exactly

0:06:28that which is I got an okay nice camera

0:06:31like you know I don't use as much now

0:06:33that I've got the same brand of an ipad

0:06:35yeah

0:06:36entertainment I've had you know we're

0:06:38fucking fanny pack you like such as

0:06:39picture with an ipad i see these dad's

0:06:42running around the playground and we're

0:06:43fairly back right now they're like

0:06:45they're making the world's saddest

0:06:46independent student film

0:06:48yeah you know what you know what sad

0:06:50dad's hazardous helio Aristotle look

0:06:55over here

0:06:56shut up don't you put a piece of tape

0:06:59over your camera so i have an ok nice

0:07:01camera i have have a in SL are like

0:07:03having sex from it's a trump camera

0:07:05isn't it it's it's a camera it's Trump

0:07:08camera my friends your innards disagree

0:07:10i think it's more camera that I will

0:07:11ever need my whole life because my old

0:07:13camera that i loved like that stolen

0:07:15about this one a couple years ago for my

0:07:16birthday party for myself so anyway it's

0:07:18it says it says that it's a it doesn't

0:07:20matter if it's a canon because only you

0:07:21know the fantasies nikon's so that

0:07:23matter but the front of it has the word

0:07:25cannon on it in a number of whitish

0:07:29things okay how about this

0:07:31erotic next thing you know I know you

0:07:35know this we decide pretty sure to

0:07:36discuss this

0:07:37you know about the style of camouflage

0:07:40that they would paint onto I don't get

0:07:43the terminology wrong with warships that

0:07:45the American team it's an incredibly

0:07:47disorienting right

0:07:49can you describe because it's very

0:07:50angular and it makes it very don't spoil

0:07:52the ending but it's a very difficult

0:07:53from a distance to see what kind of ship

0:07:56it is and if their in-group potentially

0:07:57how many there are right right yeah it's

0:08:00gray and white and like very very very

0:08:04diffused colors and giant trapezoids

0:08:07painted on the sides of these ships you

0:08:10know it's like okay I'm up like a

0:08:12Mondrian pain i'm just going to say but

0:08:14with some weird diagonals thrown in

0:08:16there you'd never expect them it's a

0:08:18little bit like when somebody tries to

0:08:19make an extra key in real life you know

0:08:21what I mean you ever see this kind of

0:08:22things really sad

0:08:23we don't want to expect a battleship

0:08:24mondrian get them true

0:08:28our primary weapon on dreams about it i

0:08:32think it already know all modern art is

0:08:36overrated i went to that that Los

0:08:38Angeles a mocha mocha museum of modern

0:08:42art moma mobile app moma i went to it

0:08:46and I walked around and you know and

0:08:48there's they got the jazz

0:08:49pajamas and they got there this is in

0:08:52the bats and I message on true true two

0:08:54flags online on would come on flags on a

0:08:57lot of flags on plywood but all it's you

0:08:59know it's a museum of modern art they

0:09:01had they had had one of everybody and I

0:09:04know that as a as a cultured person as a

0:09:06public intellectual I'm supposed to be

0:09:08what really a public figure as a public

0:09:10figure but we're not just a public

0:09:12figure main lady gaga's a public figure

0:09:13I'm a public intellectual can i find

0:09:17modern art to be a thought crime

0:09:20ok just really quickly I I'm gonna put

0:09:22that over here in the very very special

0:09:24power to just get this out of the way

0:09:26because it's not that interesting and

0:09:27want to be done with it

0:09:28I heard that one good way to keep your

0:09:32camera from being strike quickly

0:09:34stealable this is going to sound crazy

0:09:36it's like the battleships there you take

0:09:38some gaffers tape

0:09:39yeah which unlike duct tape is that you

0:09:41know a matt tape and it's not as like

0:09:43you know sparingly permanent you just

0:09:45take a little bit to this tape and you

0:09:47put it over the logo but you also put it

0:09:48over any like non-black piece of the

0:09:51front of your camera that will happen

0:09:52this sounds crazy but I swear to god

0:09:54it's like the battleships if you saw me

0:09:56across the room and I don't have a strap

0:09:58also because I roll it just looks like a

0:10:00piece of junk camera made out of tape it

0:10:02doesn't take a camera doesn't here's the

0:10:04thing John this is the thing about is

0:10:05the compassion it doesn't read as a

0:10:07camera what you situate Cameron s an SLR

0:10:10so much by that logo with a flash thing

0:10:13could be no I mean and this little I'm

0:10:15telling you so it just looks like a

0:10:16black pop cam that you're holding up

0:10:18here you really look carefully at it you

0:10:20would see it's a camera but does not

0:10:21stick out like these idiots downtown

0:10:23with a little fucking cameras with the

0:10:24plastic lenses on and i'll get a decent

0:10:26interesting so and that's why I did that

0:10:28but now here's the other thing that's

0:10:30cool about that if you are going to try

0:10:31and be take photos on the sly guy is

0:10:33usually a dick like you are much too

0:10:35unlike upskirt photos and now I know

0:10:38yeah I my mom always used to tell me

0:10:40she's to worry about mirrors and she's

0:10:41never heard of mirrors on shoes that's

0:10:42all that's all technology it's all it's

0:10:45all iphones up the skirt and everything

0:10:46is that fiber now I have a good friend

0:10:48that I caught some guy taking a picture

0:10:50of his girlfriend skirt in in a costco

0:10:53and he beat the shit out of the guy

0:10:55right now Hosko yeah yeah yeah just like

0:10:57because he was walking he was you know

0:10:59he was 15 feet behind or whatever and

0:11:01his lady was up ahead

0:11:03this guy's swoops in and with the phone

0:11:05like up the skirt and it and my buddy

0:11:09just did a flying like a flying tackle

0:11:12react like this guy right out and and

0:11:14then big big brawl in the costco in the

0:11:17and that the creep was trying to break

0:11:19his phone and she's it was a whole whole

0:11:23to do well without value pack of punches

0:11:26yeah it's one of my it's one of the

0:11:28great strategy and then seemed to seem

0:11:29to like arm will be like really dirty

0:11:32things for their own sake

0:11:33it strikes me they're like dirty just

0:11:35dirtiness as a thing and it seems like

0:11:38the upskirt thing is maybe they're just

0:11:40the largest producers of this may be

0:11:42subtracted that they have they are very

0:11:44comfortable with fetishizing a youth

0:11:46young people

0:11:48yes the school girl uniforms yeah and so

0:11:51the upskirt photo is this i think is a

0:11:53side is an adjunct of the like little

0:11:57girl sort of panty fetishism who that is

0:12:00so popular in Asia just part of the

0:12:02dirty things though is I'm really not

0:12:04supposed to have this you can't just

0:12:06walk out and go with like you know

0:12:07heiser vending machine working blah baby

0:12:08you can't say things like that but you

0:12:10can like buy panties from a machine is a

0:12:12correct if you heard this you can by

0:12:14panties well you know here in America

0:12:15you can get pennies online you can buy

0:12:18used panties online using your computer

0:12:20using a computer they will come up

0:12:22thanks sure you can next day air i had

0:12:24someone offer to buy my shoes once now

0:12:27cut me off guard yeah you know the the

0:12:30guitar player the presidents of the USA

0:12:33his shoes are it is his old shoes that

0:12:36he spray-painted gold are at the EMP

0:12:38they're one of the displays that you you

0:12:40pay $25 to go walk around and look at it

0:12:43it's like that Paul Island pay to

0:12:44acquire this you know when that when

0:12:46they were first opening the EMP it

0:12:49seemed like they had billions of dollars

0:12:51who well they did have billions of

0:12:53dollars but the but what it seems like

0:12:54at the time was that the grunge movement

0:12:57was going to be just as famous and earth

0:13:00shattering as every rock movement that

0:13:03had come before it right and so here was

0:13:07here was an opportunity for people to

0:13:09buy basically to buy Elvis's shoes right

0:13:12if you could go back in time and bye bye

0:13:15Elvis shoes

0:13:16by jimi hendrix's shirt like a broken

0:13:20strap from those guys for you know you

0:13:24for 25 bucks or whatever again do it and

0:13:28so it was it was a little too soon after

0:13:31the grunge years and all these guys were

0:13:32still standing around a lot of them

0:13:34didn't have any money anymore and they

0:13:36opened up this rocket museum and

0:13:38goodwill guys just get out lately wanna

0:13:42you wanna buy my works think that they

0:13:44said well it's not that they showed up

0:13:46its like the EMP sent 50 people out into

0:13:49the city like going knocking on

0:13:51practice-based doors and saying hey you

0:13:53guys got any can we buy your old guitar

0:13:56your broken guitar that's over there in

0:13:58the corner you know you look over and

0:14:00there's some $25 three-story target sure

0:14:03about that tube screamer it doesn't work

0:14:06I don't 2,000 bucks you know and they

0:14:09were just throwing it down so the EMP

0:14:10has a mute as a huge warehouse full of

0:14:13all this crap that belongs to these

0:14:16also-ran bands that this kind of itself

0:14:20it sounds like a sad good but it's

0:14:22incredible it's I mean it's truly

0:14:24amazing like they bought Soundgarden's

0:14:26van therefore therefore old ford van is

0:14:29it interesting

0:14:30not at all know what that would sound

0:14:32garden should have done and in any other

0:14:34situation would have done is sold that

0:14:36van for five hundred dollars to some

0:14:38fledgling band who drove it until it and

0:14:41caught on fire and then it would be sent

0:14:43to the crusher who and they would

0:14:45survive only in photographs and and that

0:14:48is how history is made but but in fact

0:14:50this van is preserved hit in a

0:14:54hermetically-sealed warehouse somewhere

0:14:56in seattle on the off-chance who that 45

0:15:00years from now somebody's like oh man

0:15:03Soundgarden's van it's worth of Fort i'm

0:15:06just imagining the docents work there

0:15:08who probably a very thin bones and large

0:15:09glasses and have to walk by and go you

0:15:11know this is pretty much blue man and

0:15:13van but we're pretty sure can fail

0:15:14meeting here at one point that's yeah

0:15:16that's all we know that it's not it's

0:15:18you know I don't think it may be too

0:15:20early to say but i'm i'm going to say

0:15:22that it's but it's never going to be

0:15:25Elvis's shoes you know what I mean no

0:15:27totally and you know part of this now

0:15:29you're

0:15:30you know how markets work right i mean

0:15:31it's it's beyond supply and demand its

0:15:33you know it the whole diamond racket the

0:15:35way that works is that they deliberately

0:15:37produce only so many to keep it kind of

0:15:40scarce right so in this case you're not

0:15:42even trying to make scarcely had

0:15:43diamonds you're making scarcely out of

0:15:44like Kleenex boxes right now and I think

0:15:46when hard times coming to someone i just

0:15:48read about somewhat some museum just

0:15:50acquire something really squirrely and I

0:15:53forget what it is but you know the thing

0:15:54is if you fall on hard times it becomes

0:15:56like like trading trading pogs a

0:15:58pokémon's 45 Boggs it's like training

0:16:02training pokémon's no fucking line is I

0:16:06know it's a card game with angles to try

0:16:08him on that strain it so no it's like

0:16:10beanie babies people invested a lot of

0:16:12money and just like the tulips exactly

0:16:14beanie babies and then it got so big it

0:16:16was like the tulips everybody was buying

0:16:17and I wouldn't know who I went to I went

0:16:20to I one of these a state sales one time

0:16:23and walking through this house and in

0:16:27the back of the house there's an entire

0:16:28bedroom just full of beanie babies like

0:16:32they've built rat they built the giant

0:16:34industrial strength shelves and bins and

0:16:39bins and bins of beanie babies

0:16:41oh my god it's way over there nicely

0:16:43displayed or was it just dawned on me

0:16:45that it was it was a it was clearly a

0:16:48hoard it was less a collection of marble

0:16:50horde and these people because it was an

0:16:53estate sale obviously they were old

0:16:54people

0:16:55mhm and they had hoarded these beanie

0:16:57babies thinking that that they were

0:17:01going to be worth a ton of money you

0:17:04know this was their retirement this this

0:17:06room there were 10,000 beanie babies in

0:17:08another phrase a sunk cost fallacy you

0:17:13ever heard the term and these

0:17:15enlightened expand point you keep

0:17:17sending me these books about economics

0:17:19and what what what what wait a minute

0:17:22wait a minute

0:17:23not what but you know no I'm like the

0:17:27opposite of that guy now now I'm

0:17:28suspicious of that guy the tipping point

0:17:30guy

0:17:30oh you were you were higher you are an

0:17:33evangelist just hang on one minute right

0:17:36you know what I want to get back to

0:17:37public intellectuals and RG know there's

0:17:40only one place in America where diamonds

0:17:41turns out of that's my phrase that sums

0:17:45up everything I fucking hate about this

0:17:46stuff is some guy gets up there turns

0:17:49out and like he's like he's discovered

0:17:51something amazing like you know any

0:17:53colors you want builders matter the TED

0:17:55Talks all brother i'ma tell you start

0:17:57i'm gonna tell you I can tell right now

0:17:59that you are mad at TED talk i'm gonna

0:18:01tell you a funny story i can tell you on

0:18:02the program but it's it's it's pretty

0:18:05fun here's the thing now

0:18:07yes you are correct i do the right ask

0:18:08you to do at dog know they have it and

0:18:11Hodgman kept kept saying he was going to

0:18:13try and get me in there he never did you

0:18:15know I you know I would do that for him

0:18:16you know well it's harder than it looks

0:18:19your people in there because you know

0:18:20it's all deranged billions in there is

0:18:22good point it's a good point you know I

0:18:23now people like they go to the Ted

0:18:25what's the other ones that was a big do

0:18:27she won the in like Switzerland the data

0:18:29so davos Christ they'll let anybody in

0:18:33there

0:18:34yeah you know a friend of mine a friend

0:18:35of my want to ask a question one time at

0:18:37Ted and it was actually really smart and

0:18:39make stuff she's like we wanted to ask

0:18:40you wanted to ask questions when she did

0:18:42it was during like a time when people

0:18:43could make remarks about something and

0:18:45she totally cock-blocked by cameron diaz

0:18:47ah her question this is my friend who's

0:18:50made a company that makes products i

0:18:52used to use on your site for example

0:18:54like she made something really important

0:18:56and like she and she got caught for

0:18:58Cameron Diaz to get up there and I don't

0:19:01know maybe I'm not a fan of caribbean we

0:19:03talked about this is a problematic

0:19:06um anyway about the diamonds you can't

0:19:09the problem is i think when your Museum

0:19:11falls on hard times or even if you're

0:19:12just trying to get a new prague you can

0:19:14do things like trades like assuming that

0:19:16you don't have a bunch of Nazi art

0:19:17somebody wants back you've got things

0:19:19and you hold it like if you've got to

0:19:21say what you will about any more

0:19:22hallways kids kind of interesting

0:19:23project you know if you've got you

0:19:25discover you think if we used to scratch

0:19:27off some paint you discover you got a

0:19:29van Gogh or something to hang onto that

0:19:30you traded i'm just saying i don't think

0:19:32i don't think that much currency in the

0:19:34beanie babies of the grunge era that's

0:19:36not gonna that's like I retain their

0:19:37value

0:19:38no but you know I was honestly I feel

0:19:40that way about about all modern art

0:19:42ok let's go look

0:19:44but for now where can I just be clear

0:19:46contemporary or modern art where's your

0:19:48line for this

0:19:49oh yeah i'm going to say any are made

0:19:51after tonight

0:19:53tee hee ok mm I don't know what I'm a

0:19:58fan of Jackson Pollock i will say is

0:19:59just one information question and this

0:20:01is not in any way to guide the

0:20:03discussion as you know but give any

0:20:04fucking idea what you're talking about

0:20:06or just be prepared to not along as you

0:20:08talk out of your ass

0:20:09you know I got into a huge argument at

0:20:11the University of Waterloo every answer

0:20:13everything which is that you know if you

0:20:16go to if you go around Europe there are

0:20:18there are there are monuments to world

0:20:20war two all all around Europe and as you

0:20:23can imagine and there and it's not just

0:20:24burned buildings and destroyed churches

0:20:26there monuments that artists have made

0:20:28and there are monuments to world war one

0:20:31also all over your in Flanders Fields

0:20:33they're very into that in Canada they

0:20:35are and where you are please

0:20:37the the monuments to world war one are

0:20:39invariably a very tall obelisks that

0:20:43have a a bunch of figures arrayed around

0:20:47the base i generally some some guys that

0:20:50heroically holding up their bayonets or

0:20:54some you know some nurses tending to the

0:20:57wounded maybe a at the big monuments

0:21:00have like some horses on them some guys

0:21:03maybe somebody's holding a holding their

0:21:05rifle aloft you know they're like

0:21:08monuments that have been made to war for

0:21:10a thousand years because there's

0:21:12somebody in a tri-corner hat holding his

0:21:14sword up and an obelisk and it says to

0:21:18our glorious yourself you're honoring

0:21:20your honoring the sacrifice in a very

0:21:22dignified way of these people who ya now

0:21:25in general world war two monuments

0:21:27around Europe and in America tend to be

0:21:30a giant stone doughnut on some kind of

0:21:37ellipse and with with no words on it or

0:21:43if there are some words on it you know

0:21:45it's it's some like up something obscure

0:21:48in Latin and uh and and this doughnut

0:21:52the stone donut

0:21:54or a stone egg uh it became this motif

0:21:58for world war two monuments because

0:22:01because the the world's mind had been

0:22:04infected with the with a the plague of

0:22:07modern art and it was thought that this

0:22:10doughnut better represented the

0:22:12sacrifice of however 40 million people

0:22:15died in the war that it was so that was

0:22:18such an incredible war and there were

0:22:20some so many lives lost that we could

0:22:22not represent those lives figuratively

0:22:25the only thing that made this large

0:22:26grant-in-aid the only thing they could

0:22:28do it

0:22:29the only thing that could capture our

0:22:30imagination was this was a giant donut

0:22:33and and holocaust monuments are even

0:22:36worse because it's it's even more

0:22:38inconceivable know what happened in the

0:22:40Holocaust right and so the donut is even

0:22:42more like generally a holocaust monument

0:22:45is a fracture donut right a donut that's

0:22:48been that's like kind of crack in it but

0:22:50it could be in that case you're moving

0:22:52into a more heavy-handed kind of

0:22:53abstract nonsense right exactly its

0:22:55abstract nonsense but they couldn't

0:22:56really let the abstraction live on its

0:22:58own and so they had to put a crack in it

0:23:00because then they had a little bit a

0:23:03little bit of actual realistic symbol is

0:23:06a minute and i want you around walking

0:23:08around Europe all these years I came

0:23:09back to the University of Washington was

0:23:10like I was in some seminar and I stood

0:23:13up and he said modern artists crap at

0:23:17all all modern artists crap and as

0:23:20exhibit a I submit this slideshow of

0:23:23world war two Holocaust donuts that haha

0:23:29I find personally offensive I find that

0:23:31you're not they do not symbolize the war

0:23:34they do not honor the dead this is not a

0:23:37bagel

0:23:38oh that's a terrible thing to say no I'm

0:23:42i'm pretty sure it's not a fractured

0:23:44bagel

0:23:45ah yeah okay so then you get to Vietnam

0:23:48and what did they get they got like what

0:23:49is a big letter V I gotta they got a

0:23:52black letter V in a lawn but at least it

0:23:54has names on now see how do you feel

0:23:56about letters and words I i think you

0:23:59know i think this started with fucking

0:24:00Philadelphia and the big love sculpture

0:24:03people fell back in love with words

0:24:04there's a phrase i try to avoid actually

0:24:06used in about words as art well words as

0:24:10way to basically provide a giant

0:24:11footnotes what the fucking thing means

0:24:13did you get if you better if you get a

0:24:15guy not a pietà exactly but the the war

0:24:18version of a PHR one pietà you get like

0:24:21a guy in one of those identifiable will

0:24:23work one helmets like holding up holding

0:24:26his body as he dies right that's

0:24:28incredibly fucking moving can be if it's

0:24:30sculpted well and it does not need in in

0:24:33like giant times new roman have to say

0:24:35sacrifice on it

0:24:36oh right exactly well that is the

0:24:38problem with world war one monument is

0:24:39that they that they actually go around

0:24:42and every panel says loyalty or finality

0:24:46and what war one you say well yeah but I

0:24:50mean all those I mean all called a

0:24:53figurative art you know how reluctant to

0:24:55talk about the Holocaust but i'm going

0:24:56to send you a link here in the robot and

0:24:58this is this is actually you know i can

0:25:02write this down come back to this phrase

0:25:03the exception that proves the rule

0:25:04because i think that might not make any

0:25:05sense

0:25:06this is I assume some exception that

0:25:07proves some rule this is a place that

0:25:09I've been in Miami that is really moving

0:25:12and incredibly fucking scary and freaky

0:25:15em are you there

0:25:17everything okay so this is called the

0:25:19holocaust memorial of the Greater Miami

0:25:20Jewish Federation and it is it's it's

0:25:22weirdly well done and it is super duper

0:25:25creepy

0:25:25so you can see the primary figure is a i

0:25:30don't know how many feet would you say

0:25:31probably about a 30-foot high 31 high

0:25:33human hand without all around and the

0:25:35arm is like from the wrist to what would

0:25:39be the elbow is is just all like

0:25:41desperate skinny people clinging it

0:25:44would you say that's pretty horrific i

0:25:46mean there it gets it gets to the flavor

0:25:48gets the flavor but then there's also

0:25:50like these frozen figures they're almost

0:25:52like Pompeii now I don't know that it's

0:25:55so emotional that like I can see why you

0:25:58would do that they're it but I mean in

0:25:59that case I mean that's this gives you a

0:26:01sense

0:26:02it don't you say obstructing an abstract

0:26:05way but that's very emotionally

0:26:06compelling what I worry about is going

0:26:08away that donors not no absolutely not i

0:26:11mean you know eatin you

0:26:13I'm just saying like if you get too

0:26:15abstract with this stuff and you get in

0:26:17you get into the donuts and in the eggs

0:26:19and the v's I don't know he had a water

0:26:21feature

0:26:22I mean oh yeah water feature is nice do

0:26:25you like water features

0:26:26well water feature reflects the donut in

0:26:28the sky and it causes you to really

0:26:30really think about it

0:26:31oh I don't know what's causing it to

0:26:33reflect and think about it then you see

0:26:35it reflected in the pool and you're like

0:26:36oh right yeah even washington DC yes um

0:26:43i have been to Washington DC

0:26:47well you're always fucking talking about

0:26:49the Baltics in Romania I've been all 56

0:26:52sounds like I've been to every

0:26:53metropolitan area outer banks now I get

0:26:56it

0:26:56I am never we're married me and my

0:26:59little dog drove around in my camper

0:27:01truck and saw everything in America it

0:27:04sounds like an NBC show from 1978 I am

0:27:08Charles Kuralt now like I'll well-known

0:27:10dog's name was like fluffy or keep it

0:27:12was a call a Roderick and the dog i have

0:27:15been the jet truck

0:27:17I've been everywhere man button and say

0:27:20Claire man you know that he is from

0:27:22Canada who tanks know the man who wrote

0:27:25I think wrote and sings that song and

0:27:27you know a lot of great importance of

0:27:29Canada some of our best Americans are

0:27:31actually from can be very surprising

0:27:32news from Canada's Sloan the band

0:27:33Sloan's from Canada is there a lot of

0:27:38great Americans from from canada and I

0:27:40you know when I meet someone from Canada

0:27:42I don't hold it against them because not

0:27:43immediately could be they could be a

0:27:45great American for all I know

0:27:46yeah the money didn't take a look a

0:27:48sense i'm going to get money when you

0:27:51know what I like the coin so i have to

0:27:52tell you I like a tuning i like i like a

0:27:54coin

0:27:55here's what I used to love about

0:27:56canadian money it was a it was super

0:27:59cheap and your dude first time i was

0:28:01there is a dollar it was one dollar 66

0:28:03American to up to a loony and here's

0:28:05what I hate about commit a canadian

0:28:07money now it is super cheap it's just if

0:28:09it feels really fucked up that they're

0:28:11doing as well as us to really be wrong

0:28:13super depressant they're nice people

0:28:15though they're super nice people

0:28:17here's the reason i asked like there are

0:28:18a lot of serial killers up there no

0:28:20really yeah you didn't know about those

0:28:24two guys in vancouver that owned a pig

0:28:26farm and they and they a little lady pig

0:28:29doing lady take stuff

0:28:32no no it wasn't lady pigs they would

0:28:34have big parties out of their big farm

0:28:35where they invite all the prostitutes

0:28:36from Vancouver and then they would do

0:28:39bad things and serial killers too and

0:28:41they would kill these girls and then

0:28:42feed them to the pigs and then I

0:28:45interpretation british columbia

0:28:47yeah it was in vancouver yeah and then

0:28:49they would sell the bacon back to this

0:28:53to the to the undisciplined just watch

0:28:55your movie there's no way that is real

0:28:57yeah that they like the unknowing

0:29:01citizens of vancouver we're eating their

0:29:03met because you know and canada of

0:29:05course they have seven flavors of bacon

0:29:06all the vacancy at a hooker bacon

0:29:09well this is hooker bacon they had a

0:29:10little they're selling hooker bacon to

0:29:12him for four years because because that

0:29:14because prostitutes were disappearing

0:29:15off the streets of Vancouver for years

0:29:17because it seemed like once you saw like

0:29:20me go into a van and not come back like

0:29:22you would think twice about going into a

0:29:23van with a bunch foot and all these

0:29:25creeps and these guys were creeps too

0:29:26they were you can just look at you they

0:29:28were creeps but they would have these

0:29:30huge parties these huge like prostitute

0:29:32parties prostitute junkie parties out of

0:29:34their pictures it started out fun

0:29:36oh I think for a lot of people it was

0:29:38all it was always fun but so so one

0:29:41person doesn't make it back

0:29:42oh I get it you're just ok so I'm sorry

0:29:44I apologize i thought it was like

0:29:46punctually I thought they came into some

0:29:47shoot because they thought it was a

0:29:48party they dropped a tiger trap and they

0:29:49end up in some hooker bacon you're

0:29:51saying that a lot of times you're going

0:29:52to have fun you bring your friends back

0:29:54it's a pyramid scheme

0:29:55yeah right you're like oh man there's

0:29:57always dollies drugs and there's lots of

0:29:59hookers and we got to this big farm and

0:30:01it's a blast and then everybody else

0:30:02goes home except for one hooker make it

0:30:06back and then each time but nobody ever

0:30:08puts it together because in vancouver

0:30:11they were adopting a policy of let's

0:30:13pretend that hookers don't exist so

0:30:15that's not good now for a long time they

0:30:18had that policy now I think they have

0:30:19the whole like oh we're watching

0:30:21Barker's now because we lost this is

0:30:24awful you know what you're not making

0:30:26stop no no it's terrible it wasn't very

0:30:29long ago and the thing and and and you

0:30:33know the northwest likes to produce

0:30:34serial killers and so these guys in

0:30:36Vancouver and the Green River Killer

0:30:37were operating somewhat there what was a

0:30:41ton of overlap but they were both out

0:30:43roaming around at the same time and

0:30:45there's there's some question about

0:30:47whether there was ever whether they knew

0:30:49each other a minute I don't know that's

0:30:51exactly what it says that guy storm a

0:30:53stereo just that we've got better

0:30:54reporting tools i want this doesn't seem

0:30:57like we go through times where suddenly

0:30:58like you know for example turns out

0:31:00supposedly there's a lot fewer child

0:31:02abductions today than there were in the

0:31:03forties per capita it's just that it's

0:31:05heavily like over-reported I don't know

0:31:07if that's accurate but in this case it

0:31:08seems like we had a real Golden Age of

0:31:10brutal serial killers in the last like

0:31:1260 years when was that game see the

0:31:14fifties sixties yeah fifties I think you

0:31:17know I used to read games car you see

0:31:18gains car was abandoned by a TMP what

0:31:24would it take to know that Paul Island

0:31:26has finally gone too far

0:31:28it's the incidence rate music project

0:31:31and science fiction museum and serial

0:31:33killer warehouse he wants something like

0:31:35the motor museum but like much more

0:31:36personal something Willie I I wonder

0:31:39about this about the the weather whether

0:31:41there were always I mean clearly there

0:31:43were always serial killers and mass

0:31:45murderers right but whether or not I

0:31:49kind of think that in a mean Jack the

0:31:51Ripper being one example he was very

0:31:53public but if you owned a pig farm in

0:31:561805 and you were abducting hookers

0:32:01which obviously their workers in 1805

0:32:03because it is the oldest profession pig

0:32:05farming no hookers okay um you could

0:32:09always go find hookers and there were

0:32:12always big farm and the temptation is

0:32:14always there probably well well no I'm

0:32:16just saying like you you have a lot to

0:32:18take care of on a pig farm you have

0:32:19slopping in the slapping of watering you

0:32:22already were talking about the on the on

0:32:24the bell curve of human being and

0:32:26farmers farmers are busy they got a lot

0:32:28to do they don't have time to run into

0:32:29town and get people magazine they got a

0:32:31really think it through they gotta have

0:32:32something could have lunch and I'm just

0:32:33saying I don't want I don't want to be a

0:32:35you know

0:32:35an insensitive here but I'm just saying

0:32:37if you can improve your bottom line by

0:32:39throwing some sex workers in your meat

0:32:40I mean I would never do that oh yes when

0:32:43you're saying that that some of their

0:32:44motivation might be that it was cheap

0:32:46pig food and I never say anything

0:32:47agrarian I don't know much about it

0:32:49I'm yeah i think it was much more than I

0:32:51think it was what boo i think that

0:32:52feeding it to the pigs was an

0:32:54afterthought they did that on Deadwood

0:32:55you know what's weird about this i'm

0:32:58reading about Robert just right for our

0:32:59listeners who don't have the internet

0:33:01it's robert pickton also known as the

0:33:03pig farmer killer and he's a he's a

0:33:06farmer killer

0:33:07I sure got that pretty close tonight

0:33:09yeah I think that's a on but there's a

0:33:11big black album and so he's 62 now he's

0:33:15a he stole he's still doing fine he's in

0:33:17for life but here's what's interesting

0:33:18is number of victims six 249 that's

0:33:22making such a big surprise 62-49 is a

0:33:25big fucking spread it could be still be

0:33:28some bacon out there that is fucked up

0:33:29that is so fucked up

0:33:31oh but I don't see I don't know I don't

0:33:33know much about the eighteen-hundreds

0:33:34yeah and and farmers in general today

0:33:37starts to farming seems very scientific

0:33:38you know but back then you know I think

0:33:41for a lot more of yourself into it and

0:33:43potentially a prostitute's well this is

0:33:45the thing that they did in the old days

0:33:47like you would have you eat it clear

0:33:50hundred acres right and then you'd have

0:33:52you have a three sons and one of them

0:33:56you'd send in the art well let's say you

0:33:58had five sons one of you send the army

0:34:00level in one of somebody's going to a

0:34:02couple we're gonna die right

0:34:04sure one of them is that the gay one is

0:34:06going to become a priest and and then

0:34:09you've got a couple sons and so you had

0:34:11a hundred acres now you have to give

0:34:13each Sun 50 acres and that you know the

0:34:16daughters like who knows what happens to

0:34:17them they marry somebody sticks in the

0:34:19possible way

0:34:19yeah so then you two sons have 50 acres

0:34:22then those guys have five sons and they

0:34:24send the gay ones into the ministry and

0:34:25the and 12 the army and but eventually

0:34:28the their farms get split up and that

0:34:30pretty soon everybody's got 20 acres and

0:34:32then everybody's got five acres

0:34:34hmm you know a 45 generations down the

0:34:38road everybody's trying to make a living

0:34:39off of these these little little cut up

0:34:42little teeny farms

0:34:44and and and that's kind of that that's

0:34:47the portland oregon model right if you

0:34:49had five acres in portland oregon you'd

0:34:51be the king of the town because you'd be

0:34:53making artisanal pigs and you'd be

0:34:56feeding them artisanal prostitutes or

0:34:58whatever it is that happens down there

0:34:59small-batch they call it but a small

0:35:01batch right small-batch sex workers

0:35:04oh ok first term is sex for sex worker

0:35:06but so then industrialized farming came

0:35:11in and they animate and they took all

0:35:12these farms they bought all cheap huh

0:35:15and they they took all the fences down

0:35:17and then they just had have robots

0:35:19making food now almost the car goes from

0:35:21India can't really call you literally

0:35:24call them in bangalore it's much more

0:35:26expensive to fly them over and feeding

0:35:28pigs that is my voice which I voice over

0:35:30IP which helps a lot

0:35:31I can talk to the pigs and my name is

0:35:35Sandra I'm enjoying volleyball uh hook

0:35:38of bacon and here's the thing i want to

0:35:40go in two directions if I'm a John I

0:35:42want to get back to this up your art

0:35:44problem if we don't pass on to move past

0:35:45that trick sugar i'll talk about

0:35:47whatever thoughtcrime modern art is all

0:35:49day

0:35:50I mean I know I'm just antagonizing

0:35:51people but that's really one of my

0:35:53favorite things to do

0:35:54well I don't want to talk about this

0:35:55diamond mine in Arkansas though you have

0:35:58me thinking about diamonds I don't know

0:36:00anything about the Arkansas has got a

0:36:01time in mind well that's the only place

0:36:02in America where there's a diamond mind

0:36:04it's in Arkansas and you can actually go

0:36:05there and sift through the rocks

0:36:08yourself like like like you go to the

0:36:11museum and look for geodes yeah where

0:36:13you go pan for gold in the Yukon at the

0:36:15pan for gold museum but you can go to

0:36:19this Arkansas diamond mines the people

0:36:21are represented by numeral for 10 for

0:36:23gold pan for gold

0:36:25Pat dig for diamonds but apparently some

0:36:28very recently some guy discovered a six

0:36:31carat yellow diamond 6 carats is a lot

0:36:33of carrots

0:36:34yeah at this like at this a search

0:36:38search for yourself a diamond mine in

0:36:40Arkansas what characters like Joe get to

0:36:42pick your own apples kind of shit and he

0:36:44finds expression six carat diamond I

0:36:46think so

0:36:47holy shit that really changes the whole

0:36:49revenue model it's not about selling

0:36:51t-shirts and marmalade anymore you're

0:36:52going to some fucking Rock

0:36:54I'm thinking every tour I do from now on

0:36:56we're gonna wrap

0:36:57through Arkansas and spend a day at the

0:36:59at the diamond mine they're trying to

0:37:01pay for the whole pay for the record you

0:37:03know you could probably run some basic

0:37:05figures you could do a microsoft

0:37:06microsoft excel the computer thing you

0:37:07could probably figure out like what what

0:37:09the chances are shoma canceled the gala

0:37:11cigar in the backbone of hundred-dollar

0:37:12bills might try and fuck you you're

0:37:14you're gonna have to balance that

0:37:15happens in the entertainment business

0:37:16you know if you seems to me you have a

0:37:17very small band people keep quitting but

0:37:19if you got enough people if you got like

0:37:21what like Donkey you got one of those

0:37:22like 10 person bands or you know like

0:37:24what was the one with the Andrew Berg I

0:37:25remember that the red band they were

0:37:27good you see them for the cauldron hot

0:37:29chili peppers or together they were they

0:37:31were really good the village school in

0:37:33the strippers will never fucking great

0:37:34man down here about to hear a thing

0:37:37about diamond mining if you have a

0:37:3910-person band you literally need to

0:37:41mine diamonds

0:37:42oh I don't keep everybody in macro you

0:37:44know how people smoke is this is this is

0:37:47why you look at people like Billy Bragg

0:37:48and jonathan coulton you go that that's

0:37:49why those guys have so much demo rides

0:37:52right they're going to get our backline

0:37:53you go in there and there's already

0:37:54stuff that got a PA you can plug right

0:37:56in

0:37:57Billy Bragg last time I saw me is find a

0:37:59white helicopter but they don't take

0:38:02white helicopter why doctor was it like

0:38:04a when you play my red-eyes copter

0:38:06iphone branded but why now look after ya

0:38:14yeah because you know is is he's raking

0:38:16it in he's making the making the big

0:38:18dollars if you see if you sing if you

0:38:20sing songs about socialism long enough

0:38:22you're gonna make some serious coin

0:38:23I forget to put up three albums or three

0:38:25books before you make serious money or

0:38:27three so well about social three out

0:38:29here before you hand books about

0:38:31something very right that you're rolling

0:38:33in the dough and then Johnny Marr starts

0:38:35calling nothing wrong with that

0:38:36well I don't you contrast that with the

0:38:38arcade fire everybody thinks all these

0:38:40guys are making a ton of cash but

0:38:42there's 50 people on stage to literally

0:38:43begging not to mention them again they

0:38:45have to pay for the hurdy-gurdy tuner

0:38:47they have to pay for the other going to

0:38:49get their their helmets tuned for the

0:38:50dragon gonna get a helmet tuner by the

0:38:52time it's all done those people are

0:38:54making like 15 gravy reach out the math

0:38:57on this

0:38:57don't don't get me on the steve albini 6

0:38:59carats is 1.2 grams

0:39:01it's about it's a just about the half

0:39:06the mass of a penny but environment

0:39:08terms that's pretty big you put that on

0:39:09a ring

0:39:10oh you're not gonna do dishes in that

0:39:12that's a fucking big we can have a six

0:39:13carat ring

0:39:14ok you can have a six carat ring all

0:39:16those baseball wives that look like half

0:39:18gazelles have catfish have them at the

0:39:20French manicures

0:39:21yeah yeah that's how you know that's how

0:39:23you tell the baseball wife six carat

0:39:25diamond ring

0:39:26uh-huh yeah that's a lot of carrots ok

0:39:29so anyway and Arkansas so they thought

0:39:31this is going to be a jokey diamond dust

0:39:34industrials most times we used in

0:39:35industry because you can't get full one

0:39:37right using for nail files and stuff

0:39:39right

0:39:39yeah you're using for for those big

0:39:41underground tunneling machines that make

0:39:44the channel for instance the big nose

0:39:46big like screws in a cartoon

0:39:48yeah the big the big screw in a cartoon

0:39:50that's digging under that's digging

0:39:51through the the wall of the underground

0:39:53bank my grandfather comes from time in

0:39:55people

0:39:56no really he's from a diamond people

0:39:58british guiana you grew up like he grew

0:40:01up like within within kool-aid throwing

0:40:03distance between the flavor of James

0:40:05down what would become genistein he's

0:40:06from ya bridge gamma his family and the

0:40:09colonists from London my grandfather is

0:40:11English about that was in British kannur

0:40:14wow yeah what an unusual place to go

0:40:17what an unusually malaria her own place

0:40:20to to go from right now the diamond

0:40:22thing can be very attractive i mean

0:40:24people are gonna go to Arkansas just for

0:40:25BBQ or whatever you know what I mean in

0:40:27this case he came to Ohio to learn to be

0:40:29a dentist with that which i think sounds

0:40:31like a front

0:40:32doesn't that sound a little bit like

0:40:33cover up to come to Ohio to be attempted

0:40:37you're gonna come to from a warm climate

0:40:40he never liked being in Cincinnati he

0:40:42was unhappy until you move back to

0:40:43Florida the year i was born strangely

0:40:45not pretty weird timing so he came from

0:40:46british guiana to Ohio to become a

0:40:48dentist is born in 1901 and he moved and

0:40:52say about he's just a little under 30

0:40:54help me and he moved to Cincinnati to

0:40:56learn to become a dentist he never

0:40:58became a dentist

0:40:59well you know it's like that maybe maybe

0:41:01he was an elf and and Santa said you're

0:41:06going to make toys and he was like I

0:41:07don't want to make toys I want to be a

0:41:08dentist an analogy always-on hermie

0:41:10hermie I link right one and guitarist

0:41:15books that i love Yukon Cornelius so

0:41:18much the the thing about

0:41:20ohio in 1920 is the president of the

0:41:22most of the indian wars were were done

0:41:24it was a good time to be a dentist you

0:41:26know they caught up with what later they

0:41:28called the Queen City but for a long

0:41:29time was poor accomplice because of the

0:41:31number of pigs pic pic butchery this

0:41:33writer was a big town big pigs

0:41:35well you gotta wonder what they were

0:41:37feeding those pig I didn't want to draw

0:41:38that line to thank you

0:41:40you know Cincinnati they put they put

0:41:42cinnamon in their chili know they sure

0:41:44do buddy

0:41:45yeah it's good stuff but yeah youyou

0:41:47everyone ever week I've never made this

0:41:49naturally for you have i oh you make

0:41:51cincinnati chili my mom's got an

0:41:52airtight recipe yeah yeah it's that

0:41:54skyline what's the other one the other

0:41:56bar in town my ticket

0:41:58yeah you should you know I don't accept

0:41:59this particular going to come down you

0:42:01make me some Cincinnati styles chillin I

0:42:03got a whole plan for us to do something

0:42:04I haven't told you about if I got a plan

0:42:05no I'm gonna take the show around and

0:42:07told you about that yet boy who I like

0:42:09to go on the road you know this week I'm

0:42:11driving down to the salt and see you

0:42:13I think this is another one here made it

0:42:15can kind of see every term here earlier

0:42:17intellectual LARPing is there any chance

0:42:18that a lot of what you're doing is like

0:42:21if you meet people who are poor dear n

0:42:23fairs or do like I look at me I'm I'm in

0:42:26the Army of the Potomac and you like

0:42:28they're not like they don't see them

0:42:30actually really believe that their

0:42:32Gettysburg they're just so just happy

0:42:34just heavy and have authentic buttons

0:42:36you know you don't have been to college

0:42:38o P out of period they call it being out

0:42:40you don't want the wrong but you know

0:42:42what's wrong mustache so that's one of

0:42:43the things that i hate about those

0:42:44things wrong mustache when I when I see

0:42:46when I see some reenactors and some guys

0:42:49got the wrong mustache like that's not

0:42:50the mustache they had because the

0:42:53training issues

0:42:54yeah right you can't just like you can't

0:42:56just Rock any mustache

0:42:58you can't just wear your like steampunk

0:43:00mustache to a civil war reenactment

0:43:02that's not how things are done it was it

0:43:05is unnecessary brass yeah just your

0:43:08looks like oh sure you're mr. curl your

0:43:10mustache up or whatever but but there

0:43:12was no there was none of that them

0:43:13grouping this is a droopy mustache event

0:43:16i have read a lot about this but it's my

0:43:18understanding that that stuff that

0:43:21there's a lot of

0:43:23more authenticity than now going on

0:43:25there's a lot of a lot it's a lot like

0:43:27being at an independent record store

0:43:29camera shop for a comic shop and let's

0:43:31be honest a lot of comic shop it's like

0:43:32it's like a comic shop of the tricorn

0:43:34hat basically yeah but there's a lot of

0:43:36like know your buttons are not aesthetic

0:43:37you wouldn't have a zipper down to fleas

0:43:40John I've heard that some people will

0:43:41get fleas because they're guy would have

0:43:44had fleas but speaking as someone who

0:43:49has some not small experience with fleas

0:43:52you're not you're not immune to please i

0:43:54can set know i can say that is a really

0:43:57stupid thing to do not give yourself

0:44:00fleet you're not going to get a statue

0:44:02buddy you're not gonna hear it and then

0:44:03we're gonna do you think they have

0:44:04make-believe memorials for people who

0:44:06make believe died here here's here's the

0:44:08numbers down that you don't you're

0:44:10reflecting pool as always the number one

0:44:12problem with civil war reenactments how

0:44:16many how many graduate i have for this

0:44:18there are a lot of bling whatever number

0:44:20one problem with civil war reenactments

0:44:22please complete problems Civil War

0:44:23reenactments is that 99% of the soldiers

0:44:26and civil war were 17 to 20 and

0:44:29ninety-nine percent of Civil War

0:44:31reenactors are 55 to 60 65 so you look

0:44:36at your reenactment and there's all

0:44:38these battle guys dressed like privates

0:44:41marching you know like sweat profusely

0:44:44sweating in the Tennessee summer

0:44:46marching over to reenact this battle and

0:44:50it's like there's not one single one of

0:44:52you that looks like a civil war fighter

0:44:53right pictures skinny tennis skinny

0:44:58seventeen-year-old Tennesseans now are

0:45:01all wearing white baseball caps on

0:45:03backwards and they're trying to find the

0:45:06nearest juggalo encampment haha they are

0:45:10not reacting the civil war and that it

0:45:14you know that's what you need basically

0:45:15these federal guys should get their sons

0:45:17like actually happened in the civil war

0:45:19they should force there Suns to reenact

0:45:22ok I i think i understand you're saying

0:45:24there's something much deeper I don't

0:45:25care about your fucking buttons or

0:45:26dysentery

0:45:27there's a deeper problem which is

0:45:28there's no fucking way you would die the

0:45:31first week now what you need to do is go

0:45:32get your kid and compel make your kid

0:45:35you're saying you stay back on the big

0:45:36four

0:45:36arm and make your kid who has both arms

0:45:38you he joins the army of the potomac

0:45:40right he joins the fake Army of the

0:45:42Potomac wasn't killing gets killed by

0:45:44General Sherman's army that's right and

0:45:46and and that would be a true civil war

0:45:50reenactor whoo-hoo

0:45:52that's pretty good yeah um that's the

0:45:54number one problem you could you just

0:45:55stop talking with the number for his

0:45:56problems just stuff your head them

0:45:58mustaches running moustache if you go if

0:46:01you go one watching some reason or no

0:46:03sir I should they should hire me and I

0:46:06just walked down the ramp would be like

0:46:07no wrong wrong mustache

0:46:10yeah you know what frankly i don't care

0:46:12if you get that job but i would like you

0:46:14to go down to the t-shirt barn at

0:46:15whatever mall you have and get federal

0:46:18mustache and maybe it was under cabinet

0:46:22trucker cap John they're gonna think

0:46:23that means something else because nobody

0:46:25wears trucker captain can I can I

0:46:27threatened to change the subject in an

0:46:28organic way by asking you about

0:46:29something you mentioned wants to me is

0:46:31it true that you have a tumblr about

0:46:32juggalos is that accurate

0:46:34I'm i want one so badly but but a you

0:46:37know

0:46:37Seattle is not really just below ground

0:46:41zero

0:46:42you know I really think like Tennessee

0:46:43is where juggalos that's where jugglers

0:46:45really that's the heart of the community

0:46:47between two became Detroit and Memphis

0:46:50it's literally like totally kudzu

0:46:52there's like there's like a juggalo

0:46:54there's a vein of general that runs

0:46:56through our nation our great nation and

0:46:58it starts in Detroit and it ends in

0:46:59Memphis and I can't sell like a

0:47:02speechwriter for the worst parts of

0:47:04Canada effort if you're in street clown

0:47:08makeup trying to figure out is that what

0:47:09it is

0:47:10yeah I go and and and they're proud of

0:47:13their proud of being repulsive and it's

0:47:16it's it's the classic problem of the

0:47:19people being too stupid to realize that

0:47:20they're stupid

0:47:21so that they're proud of the thing

0:47:23therefore precise gambling at that

0:47:25there's a culture dumbfuck erywhere you

0:47:27like you could become lieutenant-colonel

0:47:28of dumbassery like pretty easily because

0:47:30you're respected by your peers for being

0:47:32more into being a dumbass you don't

0:47:34think so you think it's self-aware the

0:47:35other some self-awareness mm seems like

0:47:38an outsider culture i read an article

0:47:39about this is read that article about

0:47:42the about the jungle get together we

0:47:44generally article about juggalos that is

0:47:46like the Holocaust that you can stop

0:47:47reading about i'm super fascinated by

0:47:48the door through things

0:47:50that kinky lady while she was performing

0:47:52yeah yeah that's good articles a really

0:47:54good article very good article I mean I

0:47:56decide what I've seen I've seen a lot of

0:47:58I've seen a lot of things in my time in

0:48:02fact I bet every state i actually

0:48:05actually spent spent some some quality

0:48:08time some intimate time with the young

0:48:10lady that had a gigolo tattoo and she

0:48:14she claimed that it was an ironic

0:48:21judgment that too and I had my doubts if

0:48:27they had like is it like a logo what's

0:48:30the joke is a gigolo tattoo looks like

0:48:31that too is a little guy it's like you

0:48:33remember the pearl jam 10 stick figure

0:48:36there's little stick figure with this

0:48:38guy holding his hands up in the air and

0:48:39he had like dreadlocks he had dreadlock

0:48:41hair it was a stick figure it wasn't

0:48:43even it was just some graffito that they

0:48:46turn into their logo the 10 logo so the

0:48:48juggalo logo is basically that guy the

0:48:51guy with the with some dreadlocks it's a

0:48:53stick figure jobs running which has a

0:48:56Rastafarian yes Chevy Cassandra alright

0:48:59that's not realistic a meat cleaver but

0:49:01as we clear anything so this is the

0:49:03juggalo logo and this young lady uh

0:49:06friend of minor am a lady friend of mine

0:49:11with her i had she does not live in

0:49:15though in the West she is it be clear

0:49:17here necessarily the center of america

0:49:19you you seem to be slightly delusional

0:49:20about a variety of things with women

0:49:22your life which I'm not saying it's a

0:49:23bad thing but like what is your actual

0:49:24relationship that you like me to show

0:49:26too just like how what kind of lady

0:49:29friend with the shoes roshan early fan

0:49:31of the long winters and then in the

0:49:33early days long winters we had we had we

0:49:37out we would they were nice enough to

0:49:39let us stay at their apartment huh

0:49:41and she had a separate area that was

0:49:44hers her room if you will which was for

0:49:47the area that I did ya find no better

0:49:50from the beginning i wish i would have

0:49:52had a set of headaches are a dedicated

0:49:54Roderick zone

0:49:55well you know it depending on the town

0:49:58in our early days of touring depending

0:50:00on the town there was only

0:50:01somebody had to sleep in the van right

0:50:03because i'm paranoid about our van

0:50:04grounds into I did not want to be I did

0:50:07not be want to be one of those bands

0:50:08that had that was like riding home and

0:50:10saying oh should got ripped off

0:50:12ok I hated those bands i handed them

0:50:15because all your shit got ripped off

0:50:17because you were stupid because you park

0:50:19your van full of stuff on the street and

0:50:21then everybody went in and got drunk yet

0:50:23you love you left your equipment and a a

0:50:25econoline in Manhattan

0:50:27yeah orono Manhattan is probably the

0:50:29safest place in the world but like I saw

0:50:31it turns out they're worth of box haha

0:50:34there's a bar here in seattle i used to

0:50:36work at this bar the off-ramp

0:50:38yep and the grunge museum and the crunch

0:50:40museum right and people would play the

0:50:41show they would load their stuff out

0:50:43into the band and this bar was like on a

0:50:45deserted Street next to a freeway and

0:50:48then they would all come back inside and

0:50:49and drink like four beers each such

0:50:52three thirty in the morning they've got

0:50:54a they got a fucking pinata full

0:50:56offenders like sitting in a parking lot

0:50:58yeah and then they would come outside

0:50:59and all they had to do is leave it

0:51:00unattended for 20 minutes I mean what

0:51:02these guys would swoop in break the lock

0:51:04on the van and it would be it'd be empty

0:51:06like yeah

0:51:08all you have to do is turn around and

0:51:09not leave a guy out there seriously so

0:51:11we have sample we built a lexan people

0:51:14that's right we built a bed in our van

0:51:16and we just never left it unattended and

0:51:19some in some towns the fact that one guy

0:51:23could sleep in the bed in the pan ended

0:51:26up being like that guy was the king that

0:51:29night because we were sleeping there was

0:51:31one time

0:51:32oh my god you slept with these peoples

0:51:34house and other sinks were other sinks

0:51:38had clogged but they hadn't stopped

0:51:41putting dirty dishes and and like

0:51:44pouring their beer into the sink so it's

0:51:46like stillwater like every sink was

0:51:48absolutely filled to the brim with

0:51:51Blackwater and you know there's a

0:51:54there's a layer of three inches of a cat

0:51:57vomit on everything and we pulled up to

0:52:00this thing went inside and then the the

0:52:01house was dim right dimly lit and

0:52:05everybody pours into the house like yeah

0:52:06we're partying we're having some

0:52:08after-show party with these people and I

0:52:10got to the top of the stairs and I

0:52:11looked left and I looked right and i saw

0:52:13in all the corner

0:52:14terms of the hallway like that that like

0:52:18skin flakes and pubic hairs had

0:52:22accumulated in like little piles so that

0:52:25you could almost if you were if you were

0:52:27a mouse on a skateboard gonna Jam Trucks

0:52:30juggle a tensile they call it

0:52:32oh and I got to the top of the stairs

0:52:34and I was like hey you guys guess what

0:52:35I'm sleeping in the van tonight and i

0:52:38was i was outside all comfortable in my

0:52:40happy little fan while these guys were

0:52:43being bitten by fleas and probably if

0:52:46there hadn't been a group of us one of

0:52:48them would ended up in pig bacon

0:52:49look look for LARPing there now anyway

0:52:53so this girl this this jungle sighs

0:52:55she's got out she wasn't she claims not

0:52:57to be a juggler she claims to be an

0:52:58ironic juggalo appreciator this is a

0:53:01long time ago 24 she was my first

0:53:04introduction to juggle ilysm I I don't

0:53:09understand tattoos and I and I have to

0:53:11say now I really really don't understand

0:53:12ironic tattoos for ya

0:53:15did you get the thing essentially i used

0:53:16to have a circle jerk shirt had this guy

0:53:18scan on it and it's it looks oddly

0:53:20fingers easy skankin he certainly was

0:53:23not but it's weird it makes you realize

0:53:25the juggalo logo looks a little bit like

0:53:27a cross between the circle jerk skanky

0:53:29guy and and and a swastika is going to

0:53:34have swastik elements but look at the

0:53:35program 10 logo

0:53:37ok let's get on this plastic ality is

0:53:38that what you call it has it has a

0:53:39little plastic ality but so does the

0:53:42Circle Jerks guy for that my favorite

0:53:44Busby Berkeley dance sequence and the

0:53:45Circle Jerks guy is also happens to be a

0:53:47skinhead well yeah it's from like LA or

0:53:50things from like you know the valley

0:53:51maybe you're saying like use a peaceful

0:53:52skimmer he's no no these are great for

0:53:54the chorus hardcore show I ever went to

0:53:57was a circle jerk show and it scared the

0:53:59living shit out of me right let's go as

0:54:01kids kids dancing around that little

0:54:03circle in 1986 with some scary stuff

0:54:05I mean it was violent scary stuff I did

0:54:07that I did that quite a bit that stuff

0:54:09that's lame answer

0:54:10yeah are you Welsh you should probably

0:54:12be Welsh I'm Walsh I could see that was

0:54:16it don't tell me something city show

0:54:17Welshman two doors and one

0:54:18self-destruction you always know which

0:54:19will take even when I was when I was

0:54:22that age I this is I i only know it now

0:54:27in retrospect at the time I didn't

0:54:29realize this but I honestly could only

0:54:32feel things in that in the absolute most

0:54:37extremist sense so if I was feeling bad

0:54:41food only way i could really connect

0:54:43with feeling bad was that I would like

0:54:46to fall I would belly flop on the floor

0:54:49so hard that i would shake glasses off

0:54:52of counters and stuff we like the

0:54:55applicator just growing don't know it

0:54:57was just a just when I got into my late

0:54:59teens I had suppress my emotions for so

0:55:02many years that the only way i could

0:55:05feel emotions was to basically I was

0:55:07never I didn't cut myself I just want it

0:55:10i just went into your night off i went

0:55:13to punk shows and i flailed around and a

0:55:16and punch people and they punch me that

0:55:20was that was one of the ways in which i

0:55:22experienced emotion i just sent you

0:55:24something a link for something called

0:55:25sensory processing disorder

0:55:27I think you might I think you might have

0:55:29gotten that at some point you're 20 some

0:55:30kids have this today it's I think it

0:55:32might be on the spectrum user

0:55:33headbangers right they bang their heads

0:55:35are like little kids you have to run

0:55:36into things

0:55:37yeah i was me that was when I was me but

0:55:39it took many years to develop I did I

0:55:41wasn't like it as a kid how to get

0:55:42started

0:55:43well i suppress my emotions i was one of

0:55:45those i was a modern kid that was like

0:55:47oh I'm fine I'm fine you suppress your

0:55:50emotions and fine I'm fine until when

0:55:52until I was in my twenties until I was

0:56:00in my late twenties actually in my early

0:56:04twenties i was still suppressing my

0:56:05emotions really not what I say

0:56:08expressing my emotions I mean all of my

0:56:10emotions all the time I don't I had I

0:56:14had had I only one like visible

0:56:18expression of emotion and that was that

0:56:22I would that I would get so that

0:56:26basically anything if I felt anything

0:56:28extremely and i'm not even extreme

0:56:31happiness by the only way I could

0:56:33express was to go sit in the corner and

0:56:35stare at the floor

0:56:38that's not funny but that wasn't funny

0:56:41at all

0:56:41I would go sit in the corner and stare

0:56:42at the floor sometimes for hours and

0:56:44that's when you will need that was angry

0:56:45that was sad when I was not actually

0:56:47clear that's not when you couldn't feel

0:56:48an emotion that's when you felt it

0:56:50strongly

0:56:51that's when I was really like feeling it

0:56:53i would go stare at the floor of the of

0:56:55the rest of the time emotions made no I

0:56:57had no I i had no contact with them and

0:57:01then it is why I went through a very

0:57:03long period where people thought it was

0:57:04a real asshole but not not not not 30

0:57:08days of rest emotions period but during

0:57:10that period immediately afterwards I was

0:57:12like you know what I need to feel I need

0:57:14to start feeling emotion as Fisher's

0:57:16developed and I had no I had no idea how

0:57:20to do it

0:57:21I had no idea how to do it in a socially

0:57:23acceptable way so i would feel these

0:57:25emotions and I would just like go mad

0:57:27and and it was a little bit scary

0:57:30because of course I had grown up I was

0:57:32very big and I was alright and I had a

0:57:34very fierce look that I practiced for

0:57:37many years of not feeling things

0:57:39wow so when I did suddenly have an

0:57:41emotion boy it was a it was terrorizing

0:57:43now I'm I'm much for I'm I've been

0:57:47working on it for a long time now i have

0:57:48emotions all the time I'm having one

0:57:50right now who can give me a rough idea

0:57:52that sort of a knot in my stomach with a

0:57:55little bit of nausea

0:57:56uh-huh and it's happiness maybe said

0:57:58don't you I'm still a little bit just a

0:58:01little bit unclear on well how emotions

0:58:03get it felt you should get some faygo I

0:58:06should you know what i should do I

0:58:07should now that I'm in my forties and I

0:58:10have like basically injured every every

0:58:13single limb in my body now I should go

0:58:15get in a mud bath with a bunch of 20

0:58:17year-old Tennesseans and really let my

0:58:21feelings come out

0:58:23no I don't think so how do you have a

0:58:25culture like that i mean like one thing

0:58:27I'm I always admire honesty I always

0:58:29admire let's just say i'm very

0:58:30interested in outside our culture's i'm

0:58:32very interested in people he has won one

0:58:34of the few good things about the

0:58:35internet and potentially deadly and

0:58:37dangerous things you can find people who

0:58:39are into the same thing that you're into

0:58:41was great i think anytime you have

0:58:42community people who feel adrift they

0:58:44can meet people like what they like I

0:58:45mean it's easy to make fun of but it's

0:58:47gets kinda cool i mean sometimes you

0:58:49make fun of

0:58:49yeah women sometimes you end up you know

0:58:51on a ranch like you know clicking your

0:58:53guts and stuff but sometimes sometimes

0:58:57showed up at comic-con walking around

0:58:59just like in claiming that you claim to

0:59:01like it there

0:59:02I don't like they say justice bokeh

0:59:04effect about i did like it there

0:59:06you know i was just as both fed so

0:59:10nobody could tell you I was always

0:59:12amazed that people who dress is an

0:59:14extremely minor character that's the

0:59:16ones i really admire yeah those are the

0:59:18geniuses in fact you know what we got

0:59:20some fan mail the other day did we

0:59:22we got some family from we have a way to

0:59:24receive fan mail

0:59:25well a listener in Germany it's already

0:59:30funny sentence packages to Barsoom

0:59:34records my record label forwarded the

0:59:38packages to me and I took the liberty of

0:59:40opening your present is a nice thing

0:59:45there is it also my present was a book

0:59:48with an iggy pop on the cover and it was

0:59:52a collection of short reviews of the 315

0:59:58best song

0:59:59[Music]

0:59:59[Music]

1:00:00in the world in his it rock and roll

1:00:035315 best rock and roll songs nice it's

1:00:07a book you know that you keep in the

1:00:08bathroom when you thumb through and

1:00:10you're like oh right I agree that that's

1:00:13something by the seasons in the sun by

1:00:15Carrie Jack's right great song

1:00:17I'm gonna go check and see if it's in

1:00:19the present for you was an action figure

1:00:23it still in the original packaging of

1:00:27course i have not i'm not one MIB it is

1:00:31an action figure from the movie wall-e

1:00:33now and it is the minor character of the

1:00:40robot washer mao mode the robot washer

1:00:44that's my daughter's favorite and

1:00:46probably my favorite i love mo oh my god

1:00:49that's so sweet it's on literally on my

1:00:51Amazon wish list maybe that's where they

1:00:53saw it

1:00:53our fair our fans in Germany sent you a

1:00:57memo

1:00:58oh my god what you have here it's right

1:01:01next to your cello and I got your nausea

1:01:03not I feel terrible but we said about

1:01:05Germany no no internal they had a way to

1:01:07get us things

1:01:08Germany's fine they can take it you know

1:01:10the Germans are used to being cheese

1:01:11they like pastry don't think they like

1:01:14certain pastries they like they like

1:01:16pastries with the with the poppy seeds

1:01:20on glossy street obviously pastries but

1:01:22yet again cake they like cake in Germany

1:01:24shake you love cake you know they like

1:01:27bacon austria through in Germany they

1:01:30let bread with mustard food sounds

1:01:34hearty either heart EP you like

1:01:36literally like toast with honey that's

1:01:37not dissimilar like toast with honey I

1:01:39you know I was thinking the other day in

1:01:42all the gas stations in Germany they saw

1:01:44these hot dogs which they call sausages

1:01:48are versed with whom I saw these really

1:01:51long sausages make the comically huh

1:01:55well I get a perm like an atomic long I

1:01:58mean they have these that they have

1:01:59these jars these glass jars at every gas

1:02:02station in German like the eggs is like

1:02:04that kind of thing yeah yeah it's like

1:02:06it's like a hard-boiled egg next to the

1:02:07bar except it's a glass jar filled with

1:02:09like hot dog water

1:02:11and it has all these these like 18 inch

1:02:15long sausages

1:02:16oh but and you go and get one of these

1:02:19things and then they give you a role to

1:02:22go with this awesome but the role is the

1:02:26size of a baseball

1:02:29so you have this 18 inches sausage and

1:02:31then this baseball-sized role and I for

1:02:37the life of me I mean I've been there

1:02:39I've been there dozens of times and I

1:02:42love these these versts but i do not

1:02:46understand how they're meant to be

1:02:48consumed

1:02:50I don't know if you hold the hot dog in

1:02:51one hand and the role in the other and

1:02:53you take a bite out of one of the Bible

1:02:55yeah I think you have to alternate

1:02:56winner ends or do you do you cut the

1:02:59worst into quarters you cut down

1:03:01lengthwise and then in half and you

1:03:03could you make up just a small incision

1:03:05and fold it to make a triple-dog mm says

1:03:08here and just just quickly I 18 inches

1:03:10is 45.7 centimeters you three times and

1:03:14rivers 945-10 reverse it sounds to me

1:03:16like and he said he said the man was

1:03:17approximately six inches right which

1:03:20would be what than 15 centimeters you it

1:03:22seems to me and by the way that is the

1:03:24worst would be eight and a half credit

1:03:26card with right little this is our I

1:03:32thought we were going to quote your

1:03:33records

1:03:33you're allowed to your the art or so

1:03:35what you're saying is don't want to or

1:03:37could actually you can actually fold

1:03:38this versed in thirds and put it in the

1:03:41bomb can actually he's got a lot of

1:03:43rules to get a lot of rules about a lot

1:03:44of things they do you know we should get

1:03:46into some of them but I've been learning

1:03:47a lot about things that are illegal in

1:03:48Germany and and maybe first folding is

1:03:50not so maybe something that's frowned

1:03:52upon

1:03:52I couldn't tell you used in these gas

1:03:54stations and everybody that's in there

1:03:55you know the Germans are there they're

1:03:57not making a lot of eye contact actually

1:03:59sitting on gas stations the Germans

1:04:01everybody's sitting around this gas

1:04:02station eating these worst and I've been

1:04:04watching them trying to figure out like

1:04:05what the way to do it is everybody's got

1:04:07a different method fucking lucky nuria's

1:04:09it's like eating oreos it maybe it's the

1:04:12German oreo is a is a hot dog in a bit a

1:04:15small bun long hot dog in a small button

1:04:17that's the German or al

1:04:20that whole like eating out of a jar I

1:04:22mean it's such an obvious joke like a

1:04:24Simpsons thing but like I have never in

1:04:26you know and I John we've talked i mean

1:04:28i've eaten a lot of shit from 7-11 I'm

1:04:30not like actual literal shit like I've

1:04:32had some very bad things from the 7-11

1:04:34never had any desire to reach my arm and

1:04:37is a brine or vinegar what's giving

1:04:39sense of what's up

1:04:40okay i'm sorry i'm being reductive here

1:04:42load i'm doing the intellectual LARPing

1:04:44I don't like let me ask it a question

1:04:45John to your knowledge first of all have

1:04:47you ever eaten eggs out of the jar in a

1:04:49fast food place

1:04:50no but i have eaten a jalapeno pepper

1:04:52out of the jar huh i I've got I I you

1:04:57know I'm very uncomfortable as you know

1:04:58I'm very uncomfortable with open

1:05:00containers of of food any kind of salad

1:05:02bar type scenario ever since nine eleven

1:05:04I can't stop thinking about it with my

1:05:07legs

1:05:08not at all no no i mean i like i like

1:05:10scrambled eggs a cake digs but I don't

1:05:12want me to exile make good eggs

1:05:14I don't like a hard-boiled egg not at

1:05:16all and I don't like a brined and his

1:05:18people way overcooked their eggs

1:05:20including my wife i have a7 method

1:05:22either method first she doesn't listen

1:05:24to this podcast I never she's just she

1:05:26keeps thinking that she's gonna listen

1:05:28to the rubber girl episode but is that

1:05:31the one that's the one you're going to

1:05:32introduce her to right let's start over

1:05:34so start at the top right let's give a

1:05:36revolver

1:05:36I'm saying hey honey on like this

1:05:40darling 12 will get back to them all

1:05:42right that down for later but i do have

1:05:43a bulletproof a cooking method but ok so

1:05:46you've had what did you see I saw this

1:05:48on the internet yeah there somebody

1:05:50saying the actual best way to make a

1:05:52hard-boiled egg is not to boil it all

1:05:53but to put them in the oven to bake the

1:05:57egg turns out in the oven

1:06:00have you considered this i had not but

1:06:02that would not be boiling

1:06:04well no but it would be i mean the egg

1:06:07probably would be boiling inside itself

1:06:09you know the best way to cook cook fried

1:06:11bacon is slowbro staying well you know

1:06:14here's what you do you get you get a

1:06:16rolling boil right this might be

1:06:17starting a great club kilbourne the

1:06:19witness at the Daily Show guy anyway the

1:06:20New York Times guy billboard

1:06:22ok thank you i was actually on his show

1:06:24the craig kilborn show when I was in RB

1:06:26danger

1:06:27no kidding you put that out there i

1:06:30think a harbinger playing sad sweetheart

1:06:32of the rodeo on the great class

1:06:34Jerry's on and it was my first time ever

1:06:36playing the bass through an amplifier

1:06:39you're kidding what outcome on I don't

1:06:42you don't believe that late late show

1:06:44with craig oh my god we were so we

1:06:47searched and you're right in the

1:06:48thumbnail John you were not loose shirt

1:06:50I see your face and I was the keyboard

1:06:52player in the band right and Aaron

1:06:55Hoffman the bass player of harvey danger

1:06:56got sick what we want we got very sick

1:06:59nice guy and he had to go home and we

1:07:02were at the airport at Reagan National

1:07:03Airport in Washington DC where I have

1:07:06been multiple times and we're standing

1:07:10the airport errands like I gotta go I

1:07:12gotta go home I gotta go to the hospital

1:07:13and he did he went to the hospital would

1:07:16have flu and pneumonia

1:07:17haha poor aaron he's such a good guy

1:07:19he's a wonderful man and a great

1:07:21musician whose we and that's all they're

1:07:23good and yes i agree but so we're

1:07:28standing at the airport and then wewe

1:07:30we're we're waiting to get on an

1:07:32airplane to go to Los Angeles to play on

1:07:34the craig kilborn show and the bass

1:07:36player like basically walks across the

1:07:38airport to a different airline and puts

1:07:41credit card down and is on an airplane

1:07:4220 minutes later and is gone like poof

1:07:46and so we're standing there sitting on

1:07:49our guitar cases and the the the bands

1:07:51like what are we going to do we gotta

1:07:52cancel this show and talking back and

1:07:55forth and then they all kind of look at

1:07:57me at once and they're like could you

1:07:58play the bass forty-second Street get

1:08:00out there kid and I was like ye sure

1:08:03although i had never played the bass has

1:08:06got some fruity changes on it doesn't it

1:08:09is a senior straightforward and the net

1:08:11is like a lead guitar player whose own

1:08:13is just playing the bass the key is his

1:08:16bass lines are not easy to hide a lot

1:08:18guy

1:08:19well and just like he plays through

1:08:21distortion box he plays like anyplace

1:08:23melodies so I'm like I can do this and

1:08:26they got the business before nine eleven

1:08:28so they got the base out of the base

1:08:30case it put it in my hand and they said

1:08:33carry this on the airplane

1:08:35listen to the song on your headphones

1:08:36and learning while we fly across the

1:08:39country in a plane seat so I'm sitting

1:08:41in the back of this airplane with this

1:08:43because I walk on the airplane with the

1:08:45base and they're like

1:08:46can we help you put that in an overhead

1:08:47compartment and I said lady I'm supposed

1:08:51to be on national television tomorrow

1:08:52and I did I have never played this

1:08:54instrument before so you are not taking

1:08:56you're not touching this guitar i'm

1:08:58gonna have this with me and they put me

1:09:00in a seat in the back where there was

1:09:01nobody sitting next to me which again

1:09:03does not happen anymore and I spent the

1:09:06whole plane flight with this base in my

1:09:08hand and listening to the song we landed

1:09:10and there was a limo to pick us up and i

1:09:13sat in a limo with the base and my

1:09:15headphones now we got to the hotel and i

1:09:18stayed up basically all night learning

1:09:20basically learning to play the bass my

1:09:22fingers were all blistery and and read

1:09:26and I was like man and in the morning I

1:09:28woke up did it again

1:09:31listen to song playing the bass the limo

1:09:33came to pick us up took us to the craig

1:09:34kilborn show whole way there practicing

1:09:37and we walk in they walk us onto the

1:09:40stage and the guy there's a guy standing

1:09:43there he hands me a cable i plug it in

1:09:45to the base and go full bump and that's

1:09:49the first time i've ever played a

1:09:50amplified base and then I turn and

1:09:53there's a man saying who goes we're on

1:09:56in five four three two and then we start

1:10:00playing the song and i have I had never

1:10:02played it with a band i had never played

1:10:04an amplified bass guitar and that is the

1:10:07that is the version of said sweetheart

1:10:10of the rodeo you'll see on the internet

1:10:12on the craig kilborn scared watching how

1:10:14to go it went great because i was fueled

1:10:17by I had massive waves of adrenaline

1:10:21right so I'm just like well and not only

1:10:24am I not only playing the bass but i'm

1:10:26also singing harmony parts which I had

1:10:29not been practicing right i think is so

1:10:33much like a dream from junior high it

1:10:35was crazy

1:10:36I I used to sing harmony parts from

1:10:38behind the keyboard but as i was

1:10:40learning the bass part i forgot that i

1:10:41also had all these singing parts and

1:10:44then once I was out there and we were

1:10:45playing the song i was playing the bass

1:10:47i just started singing my harmony parts

1:10:49too because i was fueled by such a

1:10:52massive adrenaline way and I went fine i

1:10:56went great

1:10:57um but then also we're after the show

1:11:00we're in the green room and I'm coming

1:11:01down like off of a you know a thousand

1:11:04waves of cocaine power of having just

1:11:08done that made my base debut on national

1:11:11television and everybody looks mean

1:11:13they're like well you know our next

1:11:15shows in buffalo in two days can you

1:11:16learn the rest of the set

1:11:18can you learn the whole set on the base

1:11:21and I was like yes I totally can and so

1:11:28I spent the next two days like floor

1:11:30again on an airplane flying to buffalo

1:11:32in a hotel in Buffalo learning every

1:11:35song and in the Army Ranger said and you

1:11:39know the first night was pretty rough

1:11:42the second night was better and by the

1:11:46third night I felt like yeah I've got it

1:11:48i'll i just learned 15 songs on

1:11:52instrument I've never played for my

1:11:53hands were just every night were just

1:11:55covered in blood because i had and i

1:11:58haven't been able to develop any

1:11:59calluses it was just I just shredded my

1:12:02fingers and after the third show I was

1:12:04like I got it and I quit practicing and

1:12:09that night I went out had some food in a

1:12:11restaurant watched a little TV and the

1:12:13hotel room went to sleep woke up the

1:12:15next day feeling good went for a walk

1:12:18and then we went to the show and I had

1:12:21no recollection of any of the songs i

1:12:25could not remember the first note of any

1:12:28one of the 15 songs and walked out on

1:12:31stage somewhere in Pennsylvania was just

1:12:33like uh nothin it had I stopped

1:12:39practicing and it was kept in my skit

1:12:43was kept in my ram was kept in my rom

1:12:47never wrote to disk it never wrote the

1:12:49desk it was just in it was just there in

1:12:53flash memory and then it was all gone

1:12:56and i had to basically had to start at

1:12:59the start and andrey learn how all the

1:13:02songs went again that night so that by

1:13:05the show the following day I kind of had

1:13:08it all back

1:13:09but there's one show in pencil and thank

1:13:11god this is before people had camera

1:13:13phones there's one show in Pennsylvania

1:13:15with where i was out there just thrown

1:13:18my biggest bass shapes and basically was

1:13:22improvising improvised soloing over the

1:13:26over the entire so you can remember what

1:13:28key it's in and like just paying out on

1:13:30the route a little bit odd

1:13:32it's gonna look I look over the guitar

1:13:33player and he'd be declaring at me and I

1:13:36was just like what is the note was

1:13:38Sean's response you know Sean Sean he's

1:13:42a pro he's a pro he's the frontman right

1:13:44so he's out at the front of the stage

1:13:45he's trying to put on a show and that he

1:13:47was used to the band behind him being a

1:13:49little chaotic so this this wasn't the

1:13:52problem

1:13:53probably that shown Pennsylvania where I

1:13:54didn't remember any of the notes

1:13:56probably wasn't even the worst harvey

1:13:57danger she'll probably in the top with

1:14:01nothing i'm leaving with or without you

1:14:04yeah yeah yeah i mean their thirst shows

1:14:07where I wasn't even in the band that

1:14:08probably rivaled at 44

1:14:11no I mean certainly number of people on

1:14:13stage who don't know what they're doing

1:14:16I don't think it was even in the top ten

1:14:17be in the audience for any of this hi i

1:14:20saw some harvey danger shows before i

1:14:22was in the band some that were

1:14:24miraculous some that were absolutely on

1:14:26fire and some were they were truly

1:14:28miraculous in another way and then so

1:14:34what good did you get back at Sean later

1:14:35by make him sleep in the van

1:14:37well Sean realized as everyone did

1:14:40pretty early but when we first started

1:14:42going on tour in because it don't know

1:14:43you you better hide Shawna Nelson in the

1:14:46long winter by singer harvey danger in

1:14:49your apartment later became the long

1:14:50winters keyboard player and backing

1:14:51singer

1:14:52and like having like them apples and

1:14:56take that take that

1:14:58yeah the say hello to the new boss same

1:15:00as the old boss but it but at the

1:15:04beginning of those early tours there was

1:15:06a lot of resistance from people to sleep

1:15:08in the family i don't want to leave and

1:15:09I want to sleep in the hotel room and so

1:15:12I was like all right also in the van you

1:15:13know you guys double up in some bed in a

1:15:16super 8 motel but then people realized

1:15:19that now they're young guys they're most

1:15:22of the guy

1:15:22well everybody else in the band besides

1:15:23me was in their twenties and they want a

1:15:26little privacy you have compulsive

1:15:28masturbator in the back they want a

1:15:29little they want a little masturbation

1:15:30time

1:15:31yes and so if you slept in the van that

1:15:34was your opportunity to play with

1:15:35yourself that's also 66 hours of not

1:15:38having to be around the other guys right

1:15:39Charlotte be huge

1:15:41ah oh my god no one is telling no one is

1:15:45trying to tell me stories about the

1:15:47Civil War no one is lecturing me right

1:15:50now about Tippecanoe and Tyler don't

1:15:52touch my tinkerbell poster

1:15:54no one is yelling at me no one is no one

1:15:57is opening a can of tuna fish and

1:16:00spreading it on a pita bread

1:16:02no one is explaining to me why

1:16:05sebadoh is the greatest band in American

1:16:08history i can just sit here and

1:16:10masturbate and enjoy a little alone time

1:16:14sleepytime so the van became like a

1:16:17thing that people would fight over

1:16:18that's it so i keep thinking the whole

1:16:21time you say this answer however

1:16:24sensible but look what

1:16:26there must have been times when that if

1:16:28you like paid off by somebody being

1:16:30there when somebody tried to break in

1:16:31and how many times did that happen and

1:16:33who was there

1:16:34well our drummer Michael our drummer at

1:16:38the time Michael Schilling who is now a

1:16:40professor of literature at cornish

1:16:44College of the Arts nice was in the band

1:16:49one night when a guy jumped up on the

1:16:52back bumper and started shooting

1:16:56roman candles Rockets roman candles Oh

1:17:03Sparky kind

1:17:04yeah well like shooting

1:17:06flaming balls like boom boom roman

1:17:08candles and Michael tells the story it

1:17:11sounded kind of like a fever dream where

1:17:14he uh the thing is we never he came

1:17:19running into the hotel rooms like you

1:17:20guys you guys come out this guy's

1:17:22attacking the van we all went out there

1:17:24and there's nobody there and there's

1:17:25nothing no sign of anything it kind of

1:17:28reminded me of the of the ghost of the

1:17:30civil war debt that i saw when i was

1:17:32sleeping in and out in front of your

1:17:33house

1:17:33yeah so I can't think of a time when

1:17:38somebody when like two thugs and a

1:17:40crowbar snuck up and were gonna try and

1:17:43break into the man but this is also

1:17:45because when I would leave a club with a

1:17:49van full of gear and some dudes i would

1:17:52take a circuitous route to lose any

1:17:56tales that I might have I would use some

1:18:00of my tail losing techniques that I

1:18:03learned in my FBI surveillance manual

1:18:05would lose any tail so what by the time

1:18:09we got to the hotel

1:18:10it's pretty safe pretty secure in the

1:18:12knowledge that we had not been followed

1:18:17just a bunch of people from some kind of

1:18:19black ops shaking their fists at your

1:18:21friend live although dammit

1:18:24well the other thing I would do is if I

1:18:25felt like somebody was really going to

1:18:27if I felt like it was a situation where

1:18:29there are a lot of guys lurking around

1:18:30eyeball in our man i get everybody in

1:18:34the band we drive for three hours after

1:18:36the countryside like in the direction

1:18:38you need to get the direction we need to

1:18:40go okay so it's like you know if you

1:18:42guys want to rip our van that's fine you

1:18:45just have to follow us out into the

1:18:48night at 4am we're gonna pull over at

1:18:51the super eight somewhere and then do

1:18:53your worst

1:18:55there's something on you know I try to

1:18:58be sensitive about these things because

1:18:59i know you are i have to have to imagine

1:19:02somewhat circumspect about what you

1:19:04share in a public forum like this

1:19:05certainly contribute your knowledge and

1:19:07wisdom is something you're you're very

1:19:08generous in sharing but you're the

1:19:10various techniques that allow you to

1:19:11conduct yourself in the way you do now

1:19:12or in some kind of apocalyptic world are

1:19:15things we want to you know you don't

1:19:16tell people the gun sitting right here

1:19:18actually you don't say oh yeah I've got

1:19:20a bunch of like silver ingots i'm using

1:19:25as a like a book stands you know these

1:19:32things called the end of the row books

1:19:34you're a canny man now i need over a

1:19:41cougar ain't getting it over a

1:19:42Krugerrand well they don't make silver

1:19:46crooms overwhelming you don't want you

1:19:48don't gold golden gold Krueger in what

1:19:50they do but you know gold is a lot more

1:19:51expensive than silver I was sure okay

1:19:53it's easier to cash silver to do denny's

1:19:56or something

1:19:57oh I you in cash like see a cna sure

1:20:01like geocaching another thing is before

1:20:03i had had as much exposure to you in

1:20:06general and specifically to your you

1:20:09know it just got your training you know

1:20:12especially not by this personal training

1:20:13autodidactic training but here you're

1:20:16hot-headed exorcism

1:20:17I remember one day were not each stop me

1:20:20I game will cut this out of the city

1:20:21thing that the nose don't know I'm you

1:20:24and I were in public transit going

1:20:25somewhere here in San Francisco and and

1:20:27you would do this thing you would even

1:20:29we didn't we didn't want to talk about

1:20:30that you did this thing but you always

1:20:32do this thing that struck me as being

1:20:33extremely weird and and now I think it's

1:20:37really fucking weird but I understand

1:20:39why you do it which is I would stand up

1:20:41when our stop was coming I would stand

1:20:42up and go stand by the door and you have

1:20:46you would sit there in a way that was

1:20:47not only a stand not you not only one

1:20:49standing up but you kind of acted like

1:20:51you didn't know me like maybe something

1:20:54maybe this guy just happen to be saying

1:20:55there might be turning around looking at

1:20:56you your expression would not change but

1:20:59the doors would open i would i would

1:21:01walk out like an adult and a very last

1:21:04moment like Han Solo jumping through the

1:21:06closing sphincter you would dive through

1:21:08the door but no it's a John just for

1:21:13future reference if we ride meeting

1:21:15together when I stand up and move toward

1:21:17the door and sit next ones are stop

1:21:19thinking you can get on with me up and

1:21:23he said what did you say well you tell

1:21:26me

1:21:27I think he says he said was I don't want

1:21:30people to know my move

1:21:31what's ahead of time because the Chinese

1:21:36lady with the chicken in the six pack

1:21:38bags up you know what I mean that could

1:21:40be like a kind of goldfinger situation i

1:21:47still do that you know when the when the

1:21:48when I was traveling with hodgman and

1:21:51we're sitting in an airport and they're

1:21:53like all right now boarding rows you

1:21:56know 115 and how it stands up and he's

1:21:58like that's us and like that's you

1:22:00usually what I mean we're enroute were

1:22:04both in row two or so nice to each other

1:22:06i might you can get on now if you want

1:22:07that so he's like well I do want i'm

1:22:11like okay bye

1:22:12he knows and he's staring at me all the

1:22:15way down the then i'm just sitting there

1:22:17reading a newspaper

1:22:18I don't get on an airplane maybe i might

1:22:20even take a flight maybe i'm just here

1:22:21making it work here around here or I'm

1:22:24gonna be reading this paper this might

1:22:25not be a paper you keep moving don't

1:22:26worry about me but not when the woman

1:22:28from the airplane actually when they

1:22:31have said final boarding doors are about

1:22:33the club and happy when they have said

1:22:36that three times and the woman at the

1:22:38gate kicks the little rubber foot on the

1:22:43door in order soon get close

1:22:45that's when I stand up and walk briskly

1:22:48to the gate you you hurl your carry-on

1:22:51bag and dot when a lot of times I'll be

1:22:54getting on the plane and they'll

1:22:55actually have to actually be shutting

1:22:58the door i'll be like one more coming

1:23:01through tearing off your fake mustache

1:23:03as you know I'm the last on the plane it

1:23:05means whatever guy was following me

1:23:07didn't make it on the blade that's right

1:23:09maybe next time comrade who I think

1:23:16could find a spot there so Hodgman gets

1:23:19on let me turn this off

1:23:20looks like you he's like oh it's time to

1:23:23board the plane oh yeah no I mean here's

1:23:25the thing John is I get swept up i get

1:23:27swept up like anybody in the whole

1:23:28boarding thing and you know me I'm a

1:23:29Buddhist not really but it's kind of

1:23:31Buddhist you know I like to keep my head

1:23:32about me

1:23:33I don't like to be somebody who's being

1:23:34driven by the anxiety of people around

1:23:36me it's a terrible fucking ideas nowhere

1:23:38to lead your life and you know it so the

1:23:40thing is at every moment of travel with

1:23:42our shopping

1:23:42guess you're not the the thing about

1:23:43traveling is that every step of the way

1:23:45in less you have the right mental

1:23:47attitude about travel you will

1:23:48constantly be going I can't fucking wait

1:23:51to get to the next thing and i'll be

1:23:52angry until I do

1:23:54that's the default state of all

1:23:56travelers so you want to get the fucking

1:23:58Airport you get the fucking Airport you

1:24:00can get your fucking bag checked right

1:24:01security

1:24:02hi dog coffee line fucking what really

1:24:06really you're in you're in seating area

1:24:09for and you're standing there with your

1:24:10six bags why don't you why don't you

1:24:12fucking move and and let this lady with

1:24:14a baby through god damn it makes me mad

1:24:16everybody's but I'm not really hungry

1:24:17right cuz i'm in the moment my head is

1:24:19removed some fucking Buddhist and I said

1:24:21her and i said in my State like a

1:24:22gentleman until they call it right and

1:24:25then I gonna see that that's what i do

1:24:27and then you get in there and

1:24:28everybody's jostling around though

1:24:29you're right in first class with

1:24:30mustache boy so you don't have the

1:24:32situation right but I don't hide your

1:24:34first class seat to pay for that you

1:24:38know sometimes position your musician

1:24:40you can't fight fate for things like

1:24:41that you know sometimes now they give

1:24:44you these like first-class upgrades for

1:24:46fifty bucks social Alaska he finally

1:24:48asked Roxy and Alaska's there but the

1:24:50thing is i'll tell you why I can already

1:24:51tell not to review i can tell it's

1:24:53bullshit first-class always checks in a

1:24:54hundred percent full have to say

1:24:56redundancy everyone nowadays they do

1:24:58always checks in a hundred percent 484

1:25:01when i travel with john hodgman who I

1:25:03travel is paid for

1:25:05he just peels off one of those

1:25:06novelty-sized builds and builds and

1:25:09builds up a novelty-sized buildings like

1:25:10this one's on me no I did over 60 of

1:25:12those commercials from television you

1:25:14know I know he did I thought of him on

1:25:16the end and we should talk about the

1:25:17shot photo of him on the internet the

1:25:18other day we still doing the show I

1:25:20thought you canceled our valued close

1:25:21door close this out yeah yeah we stopped

1:25:23a long time ago don't worry right now

1:25:24we're still recording

1:25:25and-and-and-and time we still have to

1:25:27keep moustache he had kind of kind of

1:25:29floppy like cool guy hair is he working

1:25:32floppy cool guy hair was he just was he

1:25:35was he like Shemp he just needed they

1:25:36need to kind of spat back down your kind

1:25:38of cool he looks like he's working a

1:25:40look

1:25:40well here's the here's the thing is the

1:25:42thing about 900 here like a lot of

1:25:45people he he he struggled to find of the

1:25:49right haircut for a long time I think

1:25:51because um you know he has a unusual

1:25:55head shape

1:25:56he has a head shape that that you can't

1:25:58just go into a barber and say give me

1:26:00the standard a preppy haircut I don't

1:26:03think you could either you extremely

1:26:05large head

1:26:06well that's why I taught myself how to

1:26:07cut my own hair right he went to Yale

1:26:10and he went to yell so he was used to

1:26:12going to barbers and having barbering

1:26:15done i heard they have a whole

1:26:16skullenbones a salon with that's true

1:26:19stolen bones barbershop

1:26:21yep but so for a long time I think here

1:26:23he was just having his hair cut by

1:26:26somebody and it he would get a different

1:26:29you know it'd be a different experience

1:26:30every time well um in my a sense we've

1:26:35known each other

1:26:36I mean I think at one point his wife

1:26:38even suggested that I cut his hair and

1:26:41he was very very unwilling to have me

1:26:45cut his hair how do you feel about her

1:26:46even offering that up on his people's he

1:26:48was furious at her he was just like no

1:26:51no no no no and partly it was that he

1:26:55didn't want me touching him and partly

1:26:572.1 bad that was not a thing and she was

1:27:04like but I mean I think you know so he

1:27:07grew his hair a little bit and I think

1:27:09the prospect maybe even the prospect of

1:27:11having me cut his hair was enough to

1:27:14what was enough to cause him to start

1:27:17thinking about it just as he did it had

1:27:18an effect

1:27:20well since that time he has started

1:27:22wearing his hair in what i think is a

1:27:24much much more becoming style for him

1:27:27and you know for me I think like if i

1:27:30cut my hair to short on the sides it

1:27:32really it really exacerbates the bigness

1:27:36of my head doesn't make you look like a

1:27:39juggalo makes me look more like a it

1:27:42makes me look like a guy that used to be

1:27:44in shape now has a 26 inch neck and

1:27:52sells right so its profitability still

1:27:55thinks to himself as being like BP yeah

1:27:58you'd be slipped guys and he's going to

1:28:00those got one of those holiday a graphic

1:28:03tee with like this douchebag German

1:28:06gothic black-letter things on it you

1:28:08know it does outs to see or something

1:28:10like that up that guy

1:28:13yeah right so pretty done date-raped by

1:28:15net hardy shirt how does that work and

1:28:18Hardy is the hotrod guy right behind 10

1:28:21what about a shower sandals are kinda

1:28:23rapey what I have never you know what I

1:28:26don't have a shower sandals like for you

1:28:27I take my I take my chances i get in the

1:28:30shower and it's like do I am I going to

1:28:33get foot fungus here is that concern

1:28:34that concern is contagion like you gonna

1:28:37tell virus going to get to buyers are

1:28:39going to get jock foot

1:28:41yes and so I take my chances

1:28:45yeah well flip flops and only flip flops

1:28:46either i don't like him I don't like him

1:28:48I don't like anybody in them when i was

1:28:51living in new york it was right during

1:28:55the transition between when girls girls

1:28:57during the nineties you remember all

1:28:59wore big chunky boots on that puts him

1:29:02and I thought that was so sexy little

1:29:04skinny legs

1:29:05yea big chunky boots and a little

1:29:07babydoll dresses who and then right

1:29:10there at the end of the nineties there

1:29:11was this transition all of a sudden they

1:29:12were wearing really expensive flip-flops

1:29:14like expensive flip-flop high heel flip

1:29:17flops I don't think you can do that by

1:29:21your flip-flops that's what that was the

1:29:23new fashion and I was so disgusted by

1:29:25first of all because people's toes are

1:29:27disgusting

1:29:28no absolutely second of all combat boots

1:29:31are sexy

1:29:31I i figured when we got to combat boots

1:29:33and baby doll dresses that we were at

1:29:35the end of fashion who and that girl's

1:29:38this was that this was going to be sexy

1:29:40from here on out

1:29:42ok that somehow there would be like

1:29:43would be like the nasdaq in an 89 that

1:29:46we would just be able to sustain this

1:29:47level of awesomesauce forever

1:29:49yeah right you can wear different

1:29:50dresses your pants and we will see

1:29:52variations on this but at this point

1:29:53taste has changed but the boot the boot

1:29:55boots boots whoo that's we're done

1:29:59it's a great look and then high heel

1:30:01flip flops came in and I was and I'm

1:30:04right on the subways all the time

1:30:06looking at these girls and I'm like you

1:30:08craggy gnarly toes I don't want to see

1:30:12this i want you in boots

1:30:15this it's big you know how cold our

1:30:16neighborhood is like almost all the time

1:30:18like it's 53 in our neighborhood every

1:30:21day because the the winter comes in with

1:30:23a very very unusual climate even for San

1:30:25Francisco San Francisco's got a crazy

1:30:27climate but even i live in a pretty cold

1:30:30neighborhood where there are days will

1:30:31be little bit 50 to 55 it goes up and

1:30:35down but I mean it's Tommy statically it

1:30:37always ends back around 53 or 54 right

1:30:39and these kids if they're not wearing

1:30:41their ugg boots they're wearing they're

1:30:43wearing their fucking flip flops and i

1:30:45think it's i think it's literally an

1:30:46atrocity I wow I was gonna get it's

1:30:49worse than him if there's anything worse

1:30:51than Hitler it's a lot of this modern

1:30:52footwear no i'm not in the really the

1:30:54ugg boots

1:30:54it's like you dress like a hooker onto

1:30:56your hook on her day off and not in a

1:30:58good bacon way like yeah that's that's

1:31:00awful Johnny I'm talking about going to

1:31:02laundromat I'm talking about like

1:31:03walking around the mall and flip-flops

1:31:04that's not appropriate

1:31:05basically if you are a girl between the

1:31:08ages of 13 and sixty you should be

1:31:15wearing combat boots at all times haha

1:31:18but but no no Noah but no on navel

1:31:25piercings no piercings of any kind that

1:31:29maybe your piercings right if your

1:31:31Mexican impressed but now you're you're

1:31:37attractive you represent the apex apex

1:31:39of fashion at least in the last century

1:31:41and you're ready to run if shit goes

1:31:45down at the airport you're not going to

1:31:46get in John's way

1:31:47thank you yes ready you not only are you

1:31:49not going to get in my way but if I grab

1:31:51you by the hand and say come with me if

1:31:54you want to live you come with me if you

1:31:55want to live you have you have the

1:31:58appropriate Footwear that we can you

1:32:01know like team up basically environment

1:32:04and airport i'm scanning to see who

1:32:06which girls have combat boots on and

1:32:08then I'm choosing among those who i'm

1:32:11going to use as a maid to repopulate the

1:32:13world and and that I mean this it's a

1:32:15lot like let's get it dr. Strangelove

1:32:17you're going to need that attraction you

1:32:20know especially as you age

1:32:21um you're gonna need an extremely high

1:32:24level maybe an untenable let's be honest

1:32:26unintentionally high level

1:32:27of of sexual attraction in order for you

1:32:30to be able even do anything toward

1:32:31approaching repopulating the planet

1:32:33yeah i mean that's a big responsibility

1:32:35let me ask you this and you you that

1:32:37they say this is it this is the last

1:32:39call flight 3515 to to seattle the doors

1:32:43closing you throw your bag you hurl

1:32:45yourself through and right behind you

1:32:48up comes a slender girl both no belly

1:32:52button ring don't in a baby doll with

1:32:55big ass combat boots are and she gets up

1:32:58she dusts herself off as she says I i

1:33:01win

1:33:01she's almost certainly a SMERSH agent I

1:33:11really stopping there

1:33:12haha