Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► hello hi John how are you I'm Merlyn [TS]

00:00:08 ◼   ► John Roderick yesterday [TS]

00:00:13 ◼   ► Marilyn ma'am I'm and I'm i notice my [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► I've got like a perfect storm of nose [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► right now I'm trying to sniff i hear [TS]

00:00:22 ◼   ► myself sniffing because of the allergies [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► and now on top of it [TS]

00:00:25 ◼   ► I some kind of like a Drivetime DJ don't [TS]

00:00:27 ◼   ► listen to you you're all of you feel [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► around that's about 28 minutes before [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► the hour of 7mm here on cue 1074 I you [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► know I turned up my my headphones and [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► now i'm i'm racing over here to turn [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► them down but I understand completely [TS]

00:00:45 ◼   ► ok let's do some deep cuts yeah yeah [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► you're right heat was i I like this see [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► right here is one of those bands like [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► bending his attaché guys gold earring [TS]

00:00:59 ◼   ► holder golden earring like there's an [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► antique and antiqued know there's a [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► there's a much greater difference [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► between antique and antiqued what about [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► golden isn't that like saying chocolaty [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► and so it's a weasel word that Colton in [TS]

00:01:12 ◼   ► touch [TS]

00:01:12 ◼   ► is that right a visual verbal here's the [TS]

00:01:15 ◼   ► levees don't make fun don't you see [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► you're already ping-pong like 30 seconds [TS]

00:01:19 ◼   ► it well man I some stop what you're [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► doing some really good you do that good [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► to him but you know what i mean here's [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► the thing on I'm gonna take some phlegm [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► up in my nails are you think oh wait [TS]

00:01:32 ◼   ► that down i definitely will come back to [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► the flames because i had I'm got a new [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► kind of payment cards when I noticed you [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► you're helping someone on twitter by [TS]

00:01:44 ◼   ► explaining that format does involve them [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► well ya see I want people to understand [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► that well you know the thing I really [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► want people don't even sleeping be [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► honest I have a little high I want [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► people to understand the googles their [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► friend and that if they if they don't [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► understand something that they can look [TS]

00:02:04 ◼   ► looking solid john-john that should just [TS]

00:02:06 ◼   ► be my bio like I had to tell us in my [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► family and everybody like I [TS]

00:02:11 ◼   ► and a card what was discarded he's there [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► I'm like I don't ever said when you [TS]

00:02:15 ◼   ► think I've never said anything including [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► including copying right-to-left Hebrew [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► words I've never said anything on [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► Twitter the cheapest you couldn't google [TS]

00:02:24 ◼   ► yeah right well there's nothing you [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► can't google but when I was when I was [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► born my parents bought a set of [TS]

00:02:33 ◼   ► encyclopedias for the year that i was [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► born right 1968 the tumultuous year for [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► our insecurities it was a big year i was [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► born during the johnson administration [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► in the waning days of what America was [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► great you were born during the waning [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► Johnson's mr. i was born at the very [TS]

00:02:50 ◼   ► tail end of the Johnson that's like [TS]

00:02:53 ◼   ► about his pants and his balls down when [TS]

00:02:56 ◼   ► I was a kid what was that was one of the [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► things that you did on a Saturday [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► afternoon or at least one of the things [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► i did no one did it with me but you see [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► he would sit indian-style in front of [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► the encyclopedias and pull them out and [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► don't wanna a you know a little uh a [TS]

00:03:13 ◼   ► chase through the books right you start [TS]

00:03:16 ◼   ► reading something and then you find [TS]

00:03:18 ◼   ► something you don't understand you pull [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► another book out and figure out what the [TS]

00:03:22 ◼   ► thing was that you didn't understand the [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► last entry some pretty soon you get 10 [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► encyclopedias all open a different pages [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► by who didn't do that that was a that [TS]

00:03:30 ◼   ► was the thing in the sixties and [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► seventies that I mean that was what [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► encyclopedias were for the floor before [TS]

00:03:35 ◼   ► Edgar Rice Burroughs and transformers I [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► think this is you talk to your pal [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► Hodgman about this i'm telling you every [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► nerd started out doing exactly that thin [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► bones and asthma you just gonna sit [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► there and you're going oh other kids [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► were put were throwing balls or [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► something and and and there's nothing I [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► like better than a rainy afternoon [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► sitting in front of the other in front [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► of the books so what we wearing you have [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► a special outfit at that time I didn't [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► have a idea had a pair of orange denim [TS]

00:04:08 ◼   ► jeans and a shirt [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► not coincidentally or were probably [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► coincidentally a a baseball shirt that [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► had remember when they when they first [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► developed the technology where they [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► could photo they could print a photo [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► so on a t-shirt was huge i'm not sure [TS]

00:04:26 ◼   ► about an iron-on i'm talking about that [TS]

00:04:28 ◼   ► printed photo in right fabric somehow [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► and it was a photo of a baseball game [TS]

00:04:34 ◼   ► but the sleeves were also orange so it [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► was a matches a photo of a baseball game [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► oh yeah so some guy hitting up hitting a [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► baseball out of the park it wasn't [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► stylized know it was a photograph [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► hmm it looks like that's the [TS]

00:04:49 ◼   ► sartorialist version of Gutenberg that's [TS]

00:04:50 ◼   ► huge leap forward before that everything [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► we're just doing doing fucking [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► hieroglyphics on clothes [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► what changed everything people were [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► sewing letters on people were sewing [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► like little fabric letters that said [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► King talk to King Tut's hurricanes or [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► whatever I was huge i was general derail [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► this but I was huge on the iron a shirt [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► with my name on the shoulders i was [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► really sure because you had a killer [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► name is and i can't imagine being an [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► eight-year-old kid with the name Merlin [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► Muro Muro Beckett husband haha oh girl [TS]

00:05:24 ◼   ► well yeah this is blowing my mind the [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► front would be that famous shot you know [TS]

00:05:29 ◼   ► this awesome lego star wars first came [TS]

00:05:30 ◼   ► out had to me this is still star wars in [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► my head to my head Star Wars is like the [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► Millennium fucking in the movie and it's [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► those a few handful of pictures that you [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► saw everywhere right and remember had [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► star wars at-at like a 45 degree angle [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► and then there's a black and white [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► border around it and middle there's a [TS]

00:05:47 ◼   ► picture of chewy and Han Solo with [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► blasters you don't even remember this is [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► the one where hhonors concept the [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► blaster and he's he's kinda he's holding [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► Princess Leia behind him as he shoots [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► down so it's kind of hot [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► oh that's what I'm saying that was [TS]

00:06:03 ◼   ► probably the hardest thing i could I had [TS]

00:06:05 ◼   ► that with my 77 Merle on the back and I [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► believe my age being 10 always had my h0 [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► 10 but let the work you up [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► I'm so sorry to derail you so you don't [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► know you're curious like the media in [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► orange and said Merle Haggard's real [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► name is Merlin I don't I think that's at [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► the acc from Bakersfield is that correct [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► no moral Hagar's from you sure i don't [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► know any place we google that but my [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► sense is not going to see actually [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► from Bakersfield uh buck owens is pretty [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► well associated with Baker's whistles [TS]

00:06:44 ◼   ► more Haggard he's like number tune after [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► i'm sorry/not number two that's not [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► that's not right that with that dawn now [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► help me out dawn [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► oh my god John I think my starts moving [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► down noisy star player in the harmony in [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► the buckaroos the due to record songs [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► died in a motorcycle crash ruined uh [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► bucks life [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► dawn can break in my room oh what's his [TS]

00:07:06 ◼   ► name but I think merle haggard is from [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► Oklahoma are you not familiar with the [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► buckaroos I cannot freely with buckle [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► ones are you just you just kind of [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► comeback by are you doing like some kind [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► of wait wait don't tell me think we're [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► just act like you know what you're [TS]

00:07:17 ◼   ► talking about [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► yes I am i I'm familiar with phones in [TS]

00:07:21 ◼   ► the buckaroos but the but the background [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► God back battaile buckaroos are just [TS]

00:07:28 ◼   ► some guys in some suits don't i don't [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► know i don't know individual buckaroo [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► that's like saying Peter chris is just a [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► drunk with some pearl drums he's [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► actually a lot like that apparently he's [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► barely just a front I don't know why [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► don't put him on a stool don't want to [TS]

00:07:44 ◼   ► stool with no arms or back it just seems [TS]

00:07:47 ◼   ► like a terrible idea [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► Peter Criss was just in that band for [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► the interview sessions because he was [TS]

00:07:52 ◼   ► using the time tonight you ever seen the [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► Tom Snyder interview you know here's my [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► thing with kiss okay [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► oh boy ok ok kiss I i devoted i devoted [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► a week from small amount of my attention [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► to kiss in 1977 tonight probably 77 with [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► both that simply 677 they already jumped [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► the shark by then this is probably [TS]

00:08:14 ◼   ► destroy this is when they were already [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► on the way down [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► I was eight there was some part of me [TS]

00:08:19 ◼   ► that that but that had one eye on kiss [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► because it seemed like maybe that's the [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► direction that being it but being an [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► adult was going to take going to [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► actually I'm sorry Dante Kathy actually [TS]

00:08:31 ◼   ► clear at the age of nine you have a [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► metal reaction to kiss that involves [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► keeping an eye on them for the bedroom [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► for the cultural relevance to keep an [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► eye on but I had another ion Queen [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► didn't know which way it was gonna go [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► and i think it went [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► I think I was right to follow queen [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► absolutely but from that time from 77 [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► I have not given one flying fuck about [TS]

00:08:54 ◼   ► kiss and when Chris came back in [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► nineteen ninety whatever and all my [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► peers were like that they pulled out all [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► their kiss army patches and they started [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► waxing you know philosophical about how [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► important kiss was I absolutely would [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► not cross the street to save kiss from a [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► fire and and time now it's probably [TS]

00:09:17 ◼   ► fires started by Gene Simmons spilling [TS]

00:09:19 ◼   ► it was a fire that caused intentionally [TS]

00:09:21 ◼   ► started to get my attention and i would [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► i would not watch i would not invite a [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► couple of water i would not walk over [TS]

00:09:27 ◼   ► and throw it on the fire that was [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► burning kiss I don't do anything to stop [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► me from helping people about kiss i just [TS]

00:09:33 ◼   ► like to have to literally two bullets on [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► this that I think you should at least [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► consider I'm not trying to change your [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► mind i'm trying to change anything [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► number 12 in guitar attack number two in [TS]

00:09:41 ◼   ► it for the money to that was just our [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► deck have yet to tell tell me seriously [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► right now that the hell could finish [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► your thought on keeping one eye on this [TS]

00:09:53 ◼   ► while I think about literally everything [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► else go ahead know haha [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► are you about to are you about to be [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► some kind of a problem with it really is [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► that way it's gonna be [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► if you took every cool riff and kiss and [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► every cool solo and kiss and I like it a [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► lot better once called legs up when [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► ticket and come back to them down they [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► would fit inside of my wallet alright [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► then you have a big wall with a change [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► you still have that under no I got rid [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► of that it back problems haha it was I [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► trying to do that with my backpack I was [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► driving I was not the time i was driving [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► what 300,000 miles a year whatever in [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► that van and I was sitting on this wall [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► that was the size of a I think much just [TS]

00:10:33 ◼   ► did a hipster humblebrag I had to get [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► rid of my I had to get rid of my [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► bullshit trucker wallet because it was [TS]

00:10:40 ◼   ► so fucking full of money that i couldn't [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► drive my rockstar van [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► it wasn't that it was full of money it's [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► that I compulsively keep every receipt [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► and also i need that money because i [TS]

00:10:51 ◼   ► keep wearing out zippers from letting [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► ladies for late me this is not a [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► first-world problem here's here's what [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► what happened when I have got can check [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► your wallet [TS]

00:11:00 ◼   ► you know i started using it as a purse [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► and and one of the things that [TS]

00:11:04 ◼   ► I thought I needed at a certain point [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► was I needed the equivalent of twenty [TS]

00:11:11 ◼   ► dollars in every one of the world's [TS]

00:11:14 ◼   ► currencies folded into so i would take [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► the bill when I would go to a country i [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► would get the equivalent of twenty [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► dollars in their local currency which [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► you know in Turkey was like 20 million [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► lira and i would take the building I [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► would you know I would fuck crease it [TS]

00:11:32 ◼   ► and fold it down until it was a little [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► thing of the size of two Chiclets and [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► then I would tuck the little bill inside [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► one of the compartments in my chain [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► wallet and after a couple years I had [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► like probably had six hundred dollars [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► worth of world currency probably i don't [TS]

00:11:55 ◼   ► know i had a whole lot of different [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► denomination so clearly you didn't need [TS]

00:12:02 ◼   ► or choose to kind of kind of [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► breakthrough there to take that the [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► stuff you aren't using obviously didn't [TS]

00:12:10 ◼   ► spend it [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► it was it wasn't like it was sort of [TS]

00:12:13 ◼   ► like a like a file drawer runners here's [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► the thing is remember that scene in The [TS]

00:12:19 ◼   ► Bourne the bourne the firstborn movie [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► where he goes into the bank in [TS]

00:12:23 ◼   ► Switzerland is that is stuff in a box [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► step this stuff in the box [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► I mean I know I knew that that's where [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► this was going [TS]

00:12:30 ◼   ► 12 passports and stacks of money and all [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► these different currencies why I I can't [TS]

00:12:35 ◼   ► think of a thing that I want more than [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► that [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► including happiness and life including [TS]

00:12:40 ◼   ► health I don't want healthy to have it [TS]

00:12:42 ◼   ► or or like to have it in general or have [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► it when you need it you're what you [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► really want is to need it and then about [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► that's exactly right i want to need it [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► and then have it it's like a really good [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► insurance we go [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► oh yes fucking cancer and then finally [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► getting I'm finally gonna see some roi [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► on this bullshit [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► yeah but my version of really good [TS]

00:12:58 ◼   ► insurance is a safe deposit box in [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► Geneva with a with a Glock and seven [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► passports in the back that is I can't [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► think of a thing that that wouldn't be [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► the cure to which you remember who you [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► are when you got it doesn't matter right [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► you got a clock that means going to talk [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► with you guys could be the problem [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► that I that could be the thing that I'm [TS]

00:13:19 ◼   ► the reason that i needed but in any case [TS]

00:13:21 ◼   ► my version of that in and this is the [TS]

00:13:24 ◼   ► thing about the where where my mind is [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► like my version of that was that had a [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► twenty-dollar bill from Slovakia and a [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► twenty-dollar bill from Cuba in my [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► wallet in case i woke up on a flight i [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► woke up on a plane that was that had [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► landed in Havana and I was like what am [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► I gonna do I don't have any oh I do in [TS]

00:13:43 ◼   ► fact i have 20 nice part is if you were [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► to land in Istanbul and you you pull out [TS]

00:13:48 ◼   ► your like housing redbrick sized wallet [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► full of international currencies that [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► would not seem suspicious at all [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► oh I see you have what appears to be [TS]

00:13:56 ◼   ► approximately twenty dollars in but in [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► here with nothing were worried about [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► please pass on through [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► I don't even bother to check your ass [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► for heroin come on in if I was the type [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► of person who would sit backstage and [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► try to impress a girl by like Oh check [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► out all the different kinds of money i [TS]

00:14:11 ◼   ► have in my wallet that would be probably [TS]

00:14:13 ◼   ► one thing but I would never say never [TS]

00:14:14 ◼   ► seen a tuppence at the time I didn't [TS]

00:14:17 ◼   ► have any toppings but I did have yeah [TS]

00:14:19 ◼   ► that you know the bank of scotland has [TS]

00:14:21 ◼   ► their own pounds they make their own [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► pounds it its it's tied to the british [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► pound over there they don't have a [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► different value but they just have [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► different just it doesn't taste good you [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► know to spend it it says bank of [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► scotland on it and I had an English I'd [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► English 20-pound bill and and a bank of [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► scotland 20-pound bill through because I [TS]

00:14:42 ◼   ► didn't want to be caught with my pants [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► down in Scotland now youkilis and kilt [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► up you don't want to get caught with [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► your killed my wife's lipstick I we [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► missed we missed a lot right before kiss [TS]

00:14:52 ◼   ► I don't want to reel you please go ahead [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► and look at the time I never told [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► anybody that I had this money in my [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► wallet was like my secret it has to be a [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► secret that I used to be iced have a [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► serious wallet problem i had layers and [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► a stack of wallet problems [TS]

00:15:06 ◼   ► first of all almost every wall i've [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► owned up until 99 was silly i owned arm [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► I mean the one that I had for a really [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► really long time through high school and [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► we mean not I didn't bring it to college [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► but had am an unlicensed I Adam and the [TS]

00:15:20 ◼   ► ants wallet again in nylon sports wallet [TS]

00:15:22 ◼   ► no it was velcro hurts sure sure they'll [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► grow [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► hey you go to flea market by vocal [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► fucking wallet it's not licensed [TS]

00:15:29 ◼   ► exactly what do that yeah once I'm one [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► time I went through the wash and my my [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► mom at the time was still periodically [TS]

00:15:38 ◼   ► doing my wash information that's what [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► you're gonna see the difference between [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► the construction of an unlicensed a man [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► wallet that's right and proper and a and [TS]

00:15:46 ◼   ► one from the i should i should help for [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► the French army you know what I mean I i [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► I'm so my wallets on sits on top of the [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► dryer and I go out there and on a [TS]

00:15:56 ◼   ► beautiful white towel is every single [TS]

00:15:59 ◼   ► thing in my wallet like two dollars the [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► i'm at my learner's permit you know but [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► every like little card every little [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► subway thing except for the really old [TS]

00:16:09 ◼   ► condom she that was she had she [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► apparently had noticed that rut roh yeah [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► but you don't imagine being a lady and [TS]

00:16:18 ◼   ► just knowing that there's a bunch of [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► guys carrying around condoms that have [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► been in a hot moist wallet 44 probably [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► years I don't know what ladies let's [TS]

00:16:26 ◼   ► discuss these dickless wonders like me [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► carrying around a condom own if you know [TS]

00:16:30 ◼   ► for a while you know I had a shuriken [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► and carry with me too [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► yeah so as that's really incompatible [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► you should keep your schurken in your [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► wallet is very small and not very sharp [TS]

00:16:38 ◼   ► so that's going to take that to the [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► analogy and catch it up [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► wait a minute oh god is let me get my [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► wallet [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► argh i have a defense you get a minute [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► can I have a minute wait a minute wait a [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► minute is that is that that the logo for [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► Adam and the ants shut up everything [TS]

00:16:57 ◼   ► merle haggard was from Bakersfield [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► well it's all part of the Bakersfield oh [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► yeah we gotta come back to the buckaroos [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► was named on something it just looked it [TS]

00:17:06 ◼   ► up and i'll try i guess like about the [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► sureness this week i'll try to be good [TS]

00:17:10 ◼   ► this week um and put in places where you [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► can find these things out and now I also [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► want to point out that when i wrote or [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► kiss i use the S special SS letters [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► that's that that's basically the only [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► good thing about kiss I God is the logo [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► guitar tech nothing now the thing is [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► when I got older and I understood a [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► little more guitar about guitar I [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► realized how much and I don't get in [TS]

00:17:31 ◼   ► trouble with the kiss fans but how much [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► he really was [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► borrowing from jimmy page don't you [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► think it's fair to say am I being unkind [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► to say that is our garbage [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► okay yeah i wasn't really the question [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► but moving on to the next article i did [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► just yesterday watch a video produced I [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► was absolutely certain by some animals [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► are a fan of the park [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► absolutely certain it was made by [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► someone in Germany which was a video [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► comparing and contrasting the guitar [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► playing talents of jimmy page and [TS]

00:18:02 ◼   ► rainbows ritchie blackmore even if not [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► even close [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► well the video was conclusive that [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► Ritchie Blackmore is I mean by far the [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► better guitar player that's like meeting [TS]

00:18:16 ◼   ► an autistic kid on the bus and who like [TS]

00:18:18 ◼   ► this house better Beatles were ub40 and [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► you're like oh I'm gonna guess where he [TS]

00:18:23 ◼   ► goes yeah here's a tape you know [TS]

00:18:25 ◼   ► okay thank you and that's exactly right [TS]

00:18:28 ◼   ► that ritual is going to make that [TS]

00:18:29 ◼   ► comparison let your side ritchie [TS]

00:18:31 ◼   ► blackmore's by far the better guitar [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► player but who cares because he's a far [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► more tasteful guitar player i like his [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► vibrato better i jimmy page's taste can [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► sometimes be X cruel but but and also if [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► you watch live performances of Jimmy [TS]

00:18:44 ◼   ► totally sloppy not beyond sloppy [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► I mean he's up there like car hiring [TS]

00:18:49 ◼   ► behind why are dying because he's so [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► gacked out on smack etcetera is that [TS]

00:18:55 ◼   ► right did he do the heroin [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► oh yeah he would see you know what's [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► chasing the dragon is that what you [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► smell something what are you doing [TS]

00:19:00 ◼   ► chasing the dragon [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► well you're looking for the Dragons [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► treasure ok so you get a role for a [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► Christmas problem yet but no trade [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► chasing the dragon is that you are [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► always trying to recapture the recapture [TS]

00:19:13 ◼   ► the the initial high that you never are [TS]

00:19:17 ◼   ► able to capture again I think you think [TS]

00:19:19 ◼   ► that will walk out that I i think i know [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► i think it's i think you're supposed to [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► do something with aluminum foil and [TS]

00:19:24 ◼   ► singing some Willy Wonka is not a drug [TS]

00:19:26 ◼   ► that's not terrible and terrifying film [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► again putting only a few corners right [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► no drug person whatever say oh man I'm [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► really chasing the Willy Wonka ya [TS]

00:19:34 ◼   ► Alexander acting is like that and [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► gilmore girls that the cable TV show [TS]

00:19:40 ◼   ► number song um gold vs golden week I [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► think I don't righteously not gonna have [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► time today for flan slumbers who [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► I finished so the beatles and paul i'm [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► saving this one we don't have time for [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► that scott miller i started talking [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► about kids i'm throwing away you're done [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► with that open sky I want to come back [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► to I said bad words onto cards [TS]

00:19:59 ◼   ► that's right the president johnson's [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► balls o'clock in seven customers i would [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► like to probably Johnson's balls were [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► probably but each one the size of the [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► size and the hardness and weight of a [TS]

00:20:10 ◼   ► medicine ball I can see him being very [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► inspirational to you [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► Johnson yeah he got a really bad rap [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► because the Vietnam yeah and when and he [TS]

00:20:20 ◼   ► wasn't I mean he was a dick but he was [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► like he was like the Steve Jobs of [TS]

00:20:24 ◼   ► america back then you know he was eight [TS]

00:20:26 ◼   ► you hear the stories like documentaries [TS]

00:20:27 ◼   ► on him he's such a fascinating guy [TS]

00:20:29 ◼   ► because he was such a whip-like he was [TS]

00:20:32 ◼   ► so great it looks scaring the shit out [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► of everybody to get them all in line for [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► votes and stuff like that right right [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► but unlike Steve Jobs not a completely [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► autistic-like retard cowboy make it [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► wider come high apologies [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► so that's really classy that's very [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► classy i'm also will because of [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► apparently responses from people we [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► should talk about my rule my teacher [TS]

00:20:54 ◼   ► rule the rule for marriage and the rule [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► for will be careful when you meet them [TS]

00:20:57 ◼   ► when you finish that Don rich tone which [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► by the way down which were looking for [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► Don rich of the buckaroos vs golden i [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► say this is like antique vs antiqued [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► because a lot of people to understand [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► the distinction I know you do but it's [TS]

00:21:10 ◼   ► saying is very much like chocolate vs [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► chocolatey you can't say that a lot of [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► things golden chocolate vs chocolatey an [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► antique vs antiqued and something is [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► gold where they need to be golden arm [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► what are you trying to say I think this [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► is another Locker bark layer here this [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► was that said this but now the if [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► something's gold it's made out of gold [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► but something is golden [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► they don't have to be a light gold color [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► that me like a gold in it right antique [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► is something that's older than whatever [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► 75 years i think it's like copyright to [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► keep changing every few years but used [TS]

00:21:45 ◼   ► to be 75 years [TS]

00:21:46 ◼   ► antique is where you make something look [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► alright alright yeah I'm going so far [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► all the singers like cocoa puffs or you [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► know or frankenberry is not actually [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► Frankenstein's and that they legally [TS]

00:21:57 ◼   ► cannot say that because of our love a [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► past I think he passed [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► while back i think that you could you [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► could make that golden golden comparison [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► with a with a great many words [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► absolutely i'm guessing you so Oh food [TS]

00:22:12 ◼   ► you say it's not natural milk way I'm [TS]

00:22:15 ◼   ► saying that milky like your eyes can be [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► milky but there's no milk em a good [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► point yeah okay way I like a Snickers [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► there's no milk in the Milky Way here my [TS]

00:22:24 ◼   ► face I think this is uh I think this is [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► an english beat thing I think this is a [TS]

00:22:27 ◼   ► way I'm thing when UK think i'll bet you [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► in Dutch they were gonna show you when [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► you came to differentiate them from the [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► more famous American wham same deal as [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► english beat they're called the beach in [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► England but there's already a band [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► called the beat in America so they had [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► to be English be there is already a bank [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► all wam in America they had to be when [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► UK my thought on this John Rocker would [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► like your opinion i think probably in [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► Dutch they were known as gold earring or [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► perhaps just gold jewelry and then they [TS]

00:22:52 ◼   ► came here and found out that all of [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► those iterations it's like buying a [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► domain name they come over and they said [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► you know what fuck you [TS]

00:22:58 ◼   ► Dutch there's already a gold earring no [TS]

00:23:01 ◼   ► because the Golden Earring first of all [TS]

00:23:03 ◼   ► well first of all everyone in the [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► Netherlands speaks English better than [TS]

00:23:06 ◼   ► you or I do so when they named their [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► band something that they don't have like [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► a Dutch name for it and then they named [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► if your band is called Golden Earring [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► named that conditionally like the [TS]

00:23:17 ◼   ► journalists it's not like the German [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► it's not like guilt gildan my ring ger [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► engines and it is but even the Germans [TS]

00:23:28 ◼   ► like the Scorpions weren't named the [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► Scorpions didn't have a que in their [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► name in Germany and a/c in America [TS]

00:23:34 ◼   ► they're always there was always spelled [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► scorpions with the sea and i'm just [TS]

00:23:38 ◼   ► guessing that they spell scorpion with [TS]

00:23:40 ◼   ► AK and I think it's a definite article [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► either i need to check that but i'm [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► pretty sure it's just scorpions [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► scorpions right but uh but no I think [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► Golden Earring always from the very [TS]

00:23:48 ◼   ► beginning [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► well because their songs in English they [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► they they intended to be intended to be [TS]

00:23:54 ◼   ► big stars right they didn't like start [TS]

00:23:57 ◼   ► out as well let's just play Dutch songs [TS]

00:23:59 ◼   ► for Dutch friends they're like we're [TS]

00:24:01 ◼   ► going we're going to the show is gonna [TS]

00:24:04 ◼   ► be a limit on the run the reach that [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► you're gonna get with just singing in [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► Holland [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► well let's say you could you'd be big in [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► surinam [TS]

00:24:12 ◼   ► is that a dozen places at a formerly [TS]

00:24:15 ◼   ► from the former dutch colony of sir no [TS]

00:24:18 ◼   ► sir does Keanu is just a touch of French [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► and British write the three key honest [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► there's one touch dr is certain on him [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► what does Dutch Dutch Guiana became [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► surinam know it was certain on and then [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► became it looked it then it is called [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► touchdown on because people find that [TS]

00:24:46 ◼   ► easier to say than turn on him [TS]

00:24:48 ◼   ► okay you know what bugs me I i really [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► hate it on NPR when they say myanmar [TS]

00:24:56 ◼   ► formerly known as Burma like this don't [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► do that have fucking a yes like at what [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► point like I'm deliberately avoiding NPR [TS]

00:25:03 ◼   ► for all kinds of reasons these days but [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► still they gonna say about sri lanka [TS]

00:25:07 ◼   ► formerly known as ceylon have so many [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► problems with Public Radio I just don't [TS]

00:25:12 ◼   ► even know where to begin [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► I you know at what point can you stop [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► doing that [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► I mean I don't listen to public radio [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► because because a of this and so many [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► other things so many are man people but [TS]

00:25:24 ◼   ► people murmuring in my ear I don't want [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► people murmuring you know what I mean no [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► podcast site i'm starting to understand [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► because the vast majority of podcast [TS]

00:25:33 ◼   ► people are shouting or at least they're [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► there emphatically internets big but the [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► public radio people just murmur the [TS]

00:25:41 ◼   ► murmur I I'm and I mean like how god [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► John I have a car and i'm going to fight [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► you know for me it's also there's so [TS]

00:25:48 ◼   ► much about that is just it's it's [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► straight to the police problem it's [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► straight to the police problem you know [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► and this isn't like an old hourglass bit [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► but you know one of my biggest problem [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► with NPR is the way that they stress [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► every second third or fourth word [TS]

00:26:04 ◼   ► yeah yeah I'm babiuk with Stockton the [TS]

00:26:08 ◼   ► name of your quest arkton when I was 17 [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► yes I had a friend whose name was Bob [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► and Bob had Bob's dad was a doctor and [TS]

00:26:17 ◼   ► Bob's dad was such an asshole because it [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► was a giant guy like bigger than me [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► and bald and just one of those in [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► serious like just born printheads you [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► know and at a certain point I think [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► early on in high school 9th grade maybe [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► Bob got caught smoking marijuana with [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► some of his like hockey player friends [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► and his dad came down on him like a ton [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► of bricks and actually like I think [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► broke Bob's little spirit somehow but i [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► got to know Bob later and I I liked I [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► liked him a lot he was a good musician [TS]

00:26:50 ◼   ► and a nice kid and he lived in a one of [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► those houses in the woods that was made [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► out of like it was all made of wood that [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► was stained shellacked right so you [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► walked inside of his house and it was [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► like you were in it was secure enough [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► six-story tall bookcase you know [TS]

00:27:06 ◼   ► everything was everything was gold and [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► anyway his mom his dad was this massive [TS]

00:27:11 ◼   ► prick but his mom was what you would now [TS]

00:27:16 ◼   ► described if you were tasteless juggalo [TS]

00:27:19 ◼   ► you would describe her as a milf but at [TS]

00:27:22 ◼   ► the time there was no designation for [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► mills and she was this choose this woman [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► that probably was what like 35 maybe 36 [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► years old she seemed like a like a [TS]

00:27:35 ◼   ► definitely like a grown-up lady but she [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► had this beautiful blonde hair and she [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► was a she was just a charming person and [TS]

00:27:42 ◼   ► she really liked me and I would go over [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► to their house and she'd be sitting in [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► the kitchen just listening to NPR and [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► sorting through the bags of loose [TS]

00:27:54 ◼   ► lapsang souchong but she had from [TS]

00:27:59 ◼   ► different places and and you know what [TS]

00:28:01 ◼   ► should be polishing her harassing [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► through her scrapbooks and looking at [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► her looking at her trophies from track [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► and field and just kind of you know like [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► like polishing her copper colonies [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► really polish a lot of stuff she [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► polished stuff and then she had she had [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► some that was fucking up like when you [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► say look we're in all different colors [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► like she was just this picture she make [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► salads she made all my god she made [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► salad with bowl with salad tongs and a [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► big big wooden house and I would sit on [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► their wonder in one of their eames chair [TS]

00:28:35 ◼   ► there's you know while bob was in his [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► room getting his Nikes on or whatever [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► and I would just I would sit and kind of [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► talk to Bob's mom and she showed so much [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► interested in me as a teenage boy and [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► and I I didn't know what to do with my [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► feelings at the time and I think back [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► now and i wish that i had i wish that i [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► had gone over there during the day and [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► asked her for help on my homework or [TS]

00:28:58 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► it's too late now she's probably 79 now [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► I haven't seen her in years but anyway [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► uh she grew up on facebook [TS]

00:29:09 ◼   ► whenever I think of know whenever I [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► think of whenever I think of NPR I [TS]

00:29:14 ◼   ► always picture Bob's mom in this house [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► tucked back in the forest just just [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► surrounded by T's from around the world [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► listening to the soothing sounds of NPR [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► to try and and and i try to picture her [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► life with this with this asshole doctor [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► I'm just like Oh NPR yeah you're not [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► it's not enough that said that's got to [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► be bittersweet for John there are so [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► many different things that i wish i had [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► done differently and one of them is that [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► i wish i had taken Bob's mom away from [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► all that this is all things considered [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► boy that's that sucks John you know and [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► i am starting to drift away but met her [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► hat [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► yep yep yep yep is that you hit that [TS]

00:29:57 ◼   ► when you're like pretty happy with the [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► lose a point like it you like it you can [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► listen and your credit your capes we're [TS]

00:30:06 ◼   ► at lapsang souchong is that is that real [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► is that the pink Montauk I have no idea [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► that sounds like a doggy [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► yeah it's the name of the little dogs [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► that guard the temples positions at a [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► shih tzu it's lapsang souchong the shoes [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► are the other two lines two lines [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► outside the gate was its doubt and and [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► Clarence you know more and more than I [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► do Clarence's the other 1i can't one of [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► the keymaster [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► Oh once the gatekeeper one is I think it [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► gets the morning we were I can I just [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► say like Weaver's this is like I'm so [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► happy to be at a point in my life when I [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► find there's a new sex thing that I had [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► never thought of flow kinda just say [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► like fucking mrs. Robinson a giant [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► bookcase [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► I you know what I back that's [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► practically German in its awesomeness [TS]

00:30:52 ◼   ► there's a lot now I never thought of [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► that before yeah and I'd and I think as [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► a teenager I didn't have a you know I I [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► wasn't as connected to the great rhythm [TS]

00:31:04 ◼   ► of life to the to the to the resonating [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► D chord that permeates the universe that [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► would enable me to to to really be 22 to [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► be dustin hoffman in that scenario at [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► the time like I only thought of myself [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► as a kid and so even though i was i was [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► probably already six feet tall by that [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► point I still have still thought of [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► myself as a kid and so so in a sense [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► just in a position of waiting I was just [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► waiting because I was a kid and mrs. [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► Robinson aka Bob's mom was also waiting [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► and here we were in this D chord [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► resonating Woodhouse both waiting and [TS]

00:31:55 ◼   ► I'm Bob's dad wasn't waiting [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► Bob that was seizing the moment being a [TS]

00:31:59 ◼   ► dick with every fiber of his being you [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► don't know what you have to admire them [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► some level [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► well you do i mean i think that it was a [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► GP or surgeon like what was it was it [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► was a surgeon i mean he had the whole [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► thing if he did if he had been he was [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► one step away from owning an Alfa Romeo [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► you know what I mean like it was Alaska [TS]

00:32:19 ◼   ► so you couldn't really owned an Alfa [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► Romeo unless you were all the more [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► reason she was just so such an asshole [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► that you owned a car that you could only [TS]

00:32:27 ◼   ► drive two months of the year but he was [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► very close to that level of like I'm a [TS]

00:32:31 ◼   ► surgeon and everyone get out of my way [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► she got pregnant like why was she with [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► this guy become you again [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► I don't know what women like you're [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► ready maybe they like kiss maybe they [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► like maybe the idea of a guy carrying [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► around a condiment is it is but Adam [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► Hansen wallet is that was a turn-on for [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► some girls I have no idea why this is [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► the thing John I don't want to press the [TS]

00:32:52 ◼   ► bruise i don't i don't press anything [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► but here's my thinking on this like if [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► you walked around [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► and you're a plumber or cable guy or [TS]

00:32:59 ◼   ► pizza delivery person and you could very [TS]

00:33:01 ◼   ► well on a very basic level walk around [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► going i'm only a pizza guy i'm only the [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► Cable Guy writer and that's true there's [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► certainly true but on the uneven the [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► most basic level if your camera's out or [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► your plumbing is broken or you're really [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► fucking hungry you're gonna be glad to [TS]

00:33:15 ◼   ► see the pizza guy but on a much deeper [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► level if you really want to want [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► somebody to give you the mean bone [TS]

00:33:20 ◼   ► according to every porno movie I've ever [TS]

00:33:22 ◼   ► seen [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► it's gonna be just fine for the pizza [TS]

00:33:25 ◼   ► guy right so I'm that I don't make this [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► weird or book Casey but well but [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► according to porno movies the guy that [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► you want if you're a girl is not just [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► the pizza guy [TS]

00:33:35 ◼   ► it's the pizza guy who's got like kind [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► of translucent sweaty skin it seems [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► pretty confident and it's real confident [TS]

00:33:44 ◼   ► like yeah he's a guy who's got kind of [TS]

00:33:46 ◼   ► his jaws a little bit too big like that [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► would be like to me that would be like [TS]

00:33:51 ◼   ► picking up a cigarette i found in a [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► men's room [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► I guess somebody comes in and delivers [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► my fucking pizza and then let's not get [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► all up in my grill i would just be I [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► would be thinking really hard about that [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► you know I'm saying this gets back to my [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► rule about where you meet people where [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► you know you do you imagine that you're [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► the first 1i think you can tell a lot [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► about how your relationship with someone [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► is gonna end but how the end with [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► everybody else but here's the thing that [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► people are people are animals they [TS]

00:34:15 ◼   ► really are you know and and and the [TS]

00:34:17 ◼   ► those of us who have let our higher [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► functions get in the way of being [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► animals all the time it can be about the [TS]

00:34:24 ◼   ► Cold War we have not done ourselves a [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► service like we think about everything [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► too much and all the all the people who [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► are able to live more fun reflectively [TS]

00:34:35 ◼   ► who are just like oh I am here now and [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► there's someone standing in front of me [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► who smells like sex and my brain is [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► shutting off and i'm going to have sex [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► with them now and now i'm going and [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► maybe I'll regret it later but also my [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► capacity to regret is something that i [TS]

00:34:52 ◼   ► dont cultivate so I'm gonna regret it [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► for a half an hour and then I'm gonna [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► pretend it never happened and listen to [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► NPR and have some tea [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► like if you know what you think the [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► nobles regret I don't think but well [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► maybe bonobos are fully regret but the [TS]

00:35:06 ◼   ► nobles just they have a lot of [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► intercourse mostly for self-soothing I [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► think you but look at their little [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► Jason it was nervous the clearly nervous [TS]

00:35:12 ◼   ► stupid they're full of anxiety i had a [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► friend I had a friend who had one of [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► those extremely tiny you know I guess [TS]

00:35:18 ◼   ► you always get smaller they become [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► increasingly more annoying it's like a [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► you know inverse relationship the [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► annoyance goes up as the site is down i [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► didn't realize the big chihuahuas are [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► less annoying as well a lot of me a lot [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► of a lot of people who say that they [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► have a medium-size dog that could be a [TS]

00:35:32 ◼   ► Scottie it's actually it could be a [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► chihuahua a wig which is one of my [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► favorite Morrissey songs are you huh [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► are you annoyed by shivering dogs [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► Shepherd Angela I I feel sympathy but i [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► was driving i was driving through [TS]

00:35:46 ◼   ► manhattan one time and I looked out the [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► window as imap come on you know [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► Lexington and 70th or something and [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► here's a guy in a perfectly tailored [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► suit you know like a suit where the legs [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► are pegged so that you can't even [TS]

00:36:01 ◼   ► imagine how he got his feet for the [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► pants nopee states no pee stains he [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► doesn't have anything tomatoes salt lake [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► in the eye looking at its he's walking [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► down the street he's six feet tall [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► anyways a hundred and forty pounds [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► soaking wet and he's walking this [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► Chihuahua and the Chihuahua is prancing [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► like an Austrian horse right head like a [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► real honor like a lip was on her horse [TS]

00:36:25 ◼   ► he's just like he's his little toes are [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► barely touching the ground he is [TS]

00:36:29 ◼   ► marching down the street and the dog is [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► three inches high right yeah I mean I i [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► was i was on my way to have a sandwich [TS]

00:36:38 ◼   ► bigger than this dog and this dog is [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► walking down the street and I'm and [TS]

00:36:43 ◼   ► people are literally the they're getting [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► out of this dogs way like the crowd on [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► the sidewalk is parting for this little [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► dog marching with more confidence than [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► I've ever seen in any animal like he was [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► absolutely leading this suited man down [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► the street he was not being walked he [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► was doing it I i gotta say I admire that [TS]

00:37:04 ◼   ► I admired that little dog I wish I had [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► half his confidence but your big guy [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► that's your problem here is so much I [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► want to say well first of all I can see [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► how many situations where I've known [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► people with two pets and the little pet [TS]

00:37:18 ◼   ► ran the house and the big cat big cat [TS]

00:37:20 ◼   ► was just a giant pussy [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► my best friend John when I was a kid he [TS]

00:37:25 ◼   ► had a cat named Blackie and a really big [TS]

00:37:26 ◼   ► dog named Blackie and and and black [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► which is blocking around the house back [TS]

00:37:32 ◼   ► careful now we gotta get together okay [TS]

00:37:34 ◼   ► you're okay here's the thing [TS]

00:37:37 ◼   ► no I have sympathy for the Shivering [TS]

00:37:39 ◼   ► anxious dog but i do not like the [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► shimmering anxious dog and I tell my [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► daughter how you can tell when the dogs [TS]

00:37:45 ◼   ► pooping because it looks really guilty [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► like it's it looks like they always say [TS]

00:37:48 ◼   ► he looks like anything that is I like [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► one looks like it's sitting down with [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► her having a hard time telling when dogs [TS]

00:37:52 ◼   ► are pooping she's for we don't we don't [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► really have the vocabulary for this but [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► every year isn't it looks like when it [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► takes a shit like it just looks like you [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► don't think John back to the animal [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► thing I look away [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► well I don't know absolute like but [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► don't you think and and you say yes you [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► know at first but you know what school I [TS]

00:38:12 ◼   ► think you're going to say yes say yes or [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► not to predict you're going to say [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► here's the thing at about deer at [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► watering holes [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► I'm starting to worry that here's the [TS]

00:38:20 ◼   ► thing is my catchphrase been mine [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► I got dressed here's the thing of yours [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► is here's the thing about so forget [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► about to say here's the thing about deer [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► at waterholes i think a dog taking a [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► shit looking guilty and is a lot like a [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► deer at a watering hole they're very [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► vulnerable when a dog takes a shit it's [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► very vulnerable because that's why it [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► looks so scared it's looking around [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► thinking somebody's gonna come and kick [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► my ass while this book coming out of it [TS]

00:38:46 ◼   ► that's all that's my God he's more [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► vulnerable than he is because the dog [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► doesn't if the dog is halfway through a [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► shit and somebody comes and kick them in [TS]

00:38:52 ◼   ► the ass if the dogs gonna the dog it can [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► run with shit half out of his ass right [TS]

00:38:59 ◼   ► because the dog isn't as concerned as we [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► are like the guy in the suit the guy in [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► the suit he's going to want to stop and [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► clean up and the suit is going to want [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► to clean up and that's the problem with [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► human being yes we are we [TS]

00:39:11 ◼   ► somebody would actually stand there and [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► get killed [TS]

00:39:14 ◼   ► rather than run down the street with [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► half a shit hanging out around because [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► they're because their capacity for [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► embarrassment is greater than their [TS]

00:39:22 ◼   ► survival instinct you're saying we've [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► we've evolved past the point of [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► usefulness on a lot of disability past [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► the point where we are [TS]

00:39:29 ◼   ► what where we can reasonably be expected [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► to survive because because our shame [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► is standing in the way of us needing to [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► do we do like I should have just should [TS]

00:39:40 ◼   ► have been all over Bob's mom but Mike [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► complex like matrix of shame and anxiety [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► kept me sitting in that Eames chair at [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► saying yes I'd like another cup of tea [TS]

00:39:52 ◼   ► with soy milk in it which I didn't even [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► want I just wanted to come over and and [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► handed to me you know where as if i was [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► a little bit less afraid if I wasn't [TS]

00:40:01 ◼   ► afraid to run down the street with with [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► the pathogenic out of my ass I would [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► have been I would've I would've been all [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► over her Bible to come out in his Nikes [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► and said I'm ready to go [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► oh no this is morning edition from NPR [TS]

00:40:12 ◼   ► national public radio so anyway this [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► randomized she had a shivering chihuahua [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► and this thing that's not what I thought [TS]

00:40:19 ◼   ► you were going to say you you've known [TS]

00:40:21 ◼   ► like extremely compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► like everybody likes to masturbate but [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► like you know there are people where [TS]

00:40:26 ◼   ► you're like dude I can just tell your [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► masturbating constantly I think when [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► your clanmates you mention it yeah no [TS]

00:40:32 ◼   ► magic through say he admitted to it but [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► but i think most compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► is also have a protective layer of [TS]

00:40:40 ◼   ► dander on the front of their sweatshirt [TS]

00:40:42 ◼   ► you know you see them it's the dander [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► really that they're using the indenter [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► else he's also kind of little guy [TS]

00:40:49 ◼   ► here's the thing you didn't have as much [TS]

00:40:51 ◼   ► danger shiver shiver though you have two [TS]

00:40:55 ◼   ► good shiver he met my friend had a [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► shivering chihuahua that I never liked [TS]

00:40:58 ◼   ► it was real barky and real nervous and [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► any time it felt like the least bit [TS]

00:41:04 ◼   ► anxious which is always it would go in [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► the other room and fuck the shit out of [TS]

00:41:07 ◼   ► a little stuff when you boot and you've [TS]

00:41:09 ◼   ► never seen an anxious chihuahua fucking [TS]

00:41:11 ◼   ► the shit out of it now you understand [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► this is not the first time just write [TS]

00:41:14 ◼   ► this dog has fucking ruined the stuffed [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► animal [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► I think I plush it's rolling I mean [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► there's so much I don't have a dog [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► collar whatever there's something that's [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► just very and it's very disconcerting [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► because like the pooling dog there's [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► some snooping and then there's some [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► snooping and there's there's some guilt [TS]

00:41:28 ◼   ► and there's a lot of lot of extreme [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► nervous quivering anxiety as it helps [TS]

00:41:33 ◼   ► their helpless little honey bear [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► I'm friend here in Seattle who has a [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► little dog not a not a chihuahua but [TS]

00:41:39 ◼   ► some one of these little Scottie dogs [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► who also hopes up pumps like a foot [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► fuzzy pillow the dog the dog does the [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► friend is everything that I [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► but we also have some fuzzy pillow but [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► not when I'm around but this dog was [TS]

00:41:51 ◼   ► humping fuzzy pillow at one point and [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► just like luck of the draw [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► no pun intended he kinda it kinda we [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► were we were standing there watching and [TS]

00:42:02 ◼   ► laughing and he kind of just like leaned [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► back at exactly the right moment [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► actually and actually came across the [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► room like a turtle airshot we're all [TS]

00:42:14 ◼   ► standing there naked see it went like 14 [TS]

00:42:17 ◼   ► feet he had a 3-pointer he did and we [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► were incredulous like and then he walked [TS]

00:42:23 ◼   ► away like my workers done [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► oh my god it was one of the most [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► beautiful things like see the fucking [TS]

00:42:29 ◼   ► cat do that it was like when a killer [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► well slap seal with his tail out of the [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► water and wait and those seals 30 feet [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► in the air spinning ass over teakettle [TS]

00:42:38 ◼   ► and the killer whale is just like [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► watching it happen we were you in the [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► splashdown no no I was well aware [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► everyone a dog starts humping a pillow [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► yeah I start looking for the exits [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► you've been around the block because i [TS]

00:42:51 ◼   ► have and and especially when you're in [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► somebody's house where they think it's [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► charming that the dogs fucking pillow [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► challenge looking for the exits John I i [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► just wanna I'm not it's not like I want [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► it's not like i'm leaving through a it's [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► like I just want to make sure I know [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► where they are [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► it's like the earnest and ER it's like [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► this is a clear fucking leading economic [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► indicators that you need to get the hell [TS]

00:43:09 ◼   ► out of that place like that person's got [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► an andiron themselves that obviously [TS]

00:43:13 ◼   ► masturbating constantly and this is a [TS]

00:43:14 ◼   ► house where the dog is encouraged to [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► literally come in the living room and [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► that's funny I feel like I turned a [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► corner in life [TS]

00:43:22 ◼   ► somebody's gonna have to clean that up [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► yes you see the dogs going to do that [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► will not tell me that's how many [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► computer monitors do you have in front [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► of you all right now what is the maximum [TS]

00:43:31 ◼   ► number of computer monitors that you [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► said that when you walk into somebody's [TS]

00:43:35 ◼   ► computer station area [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► yeah what is the maximum number of [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► computer monitors that you will but you [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► can handle before you start to feel like [TS]

00:43:42 ◼   ► this person out it's like a lunatic is a [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► lunatic well I i know a lot of people [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► that may scrap your story if I tell you [TS]

00:43:49 ◼   ► but my opinion is that that the the [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► conventional wisdom on this is that you [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► should have to exact monitors of exactly [TS]

00:43:56 ◼   ► the same size or three of the same size [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► i have one very large one and then one [TS]

00:44:00 ◼   ► and I've seen some [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► nerds that have up to six but that is [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► like having seventh graders you got you [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► have to get a stand and yeah that didn't [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► ruin the story so what happens with six [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► monitors what happens very little again [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► it's the condom in my wallet problem [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► I mean no I mean and you know what you [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► don't care about this but there's [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► there's data that backs up the idea that [TS]

00:44:22 ◼   ► the less you have to scroll around the [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► more you can get done the more you see [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► the more you can do but you know [TS]

00:44:27 ◼   ► come on I mean you ever seen that guy [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► you see the guy who's got like all the [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► holsters on his belt [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► you know and you're like you're like the [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► guy at the music business too are you [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► seriously asking me back for the guy or [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► the lesbian usually with all the keys [TS]

00:44:38 ◼   ► let the keychain what's the deal with [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► lesbians and keychains is that a thing [TS]

00:44:40 ◼   ► is that look at the hanky code it well [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► it's a thing it's not a hanky code but [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► it's a it's a it's like a it's a penis [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► envy think it's a pushy think it well [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► you it's like here's my package in my [TS]

00:44:53 ◼   ► packages just made of keys [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► have you seen my keychain i definitely [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► have but I'm trying to remember what its [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► okay its okay its taken me 45 years to [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► get down to an aluminum bottle cap [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► opener that was almost nothing and two [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► keys [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► I don't even keep my car key on there i [TS]

00:45:09 ◼   ► get my office key in my house key and [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► that is it [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► that's what to me that's power like that [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► that is the ability to go into into a [TS]

00:45:15 ◼   ► literal safe-deposit box and not bearing [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► or do you want to go [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► munich what do you--what do you know [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► where to go to urgent Sorry Sorry [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► and so you also have a number bank [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► account there don't don't say what [TS]

00:45:25 ◼   ► number but you probably have access to [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► money there too [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► I don't I i wouldn't be able to say the [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► number because it's not actually do you [TS]

00:45:31 ◼   ► have any other truckers wallet with [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► twenty dollars that you could use [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► anywhere in the world right well not [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► anywhere i mean i don't have any like [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► Chinese money not know what not promise [TS]

00:45:40 ◼   ► you want to change the currency an hour [TS]

00:45:41 ◼   ► later go ahead i didn't have any light [TS]

00:45:43 ◼   ► didn't add some thai baht I couldn't go [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► to talk about for instance unless the US [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► dollars in talker but anyway go ahead [TS]

00:45:50 ◼   ► no no I think that's probably it wasn't [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► talking about i don't even remember my [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► keychain on your keychain so I I feel [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► like I for example the people who who [TS]

00:46:02 ◼   ► are our neighbors like I won't check the [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► mail today I want to get the mail and I [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► swear to god it's like these fucking [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► MOOCs have like a pony keg of Acts its X [TS]

00:46:12 ◼   ► body spray [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► I i hope so I mean it [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► is actually a shit down there where I [TS]

00:46:17 ◼   ► thought I thought that you you don't [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► still have an adversarial relationship [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► with your upstairs neighbor oh no [TS]

00:46:21 ◼   ► they're gone tonight they're still [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► literally the only people in the world [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► that I hate our old neighbors and and [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► are you saying that their mail is still [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► in your mailbox when you talk about [TS]

00:46:29 ◼   ► different neighbors now I I can't talk [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► too much about this kale because of your [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► papers are listening to the podcast now [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► fuck them i thought other I've got all [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► their names about all the names don't [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► mean yeah haha well don't tell me I [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► can't get dark and small of that is [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► darkened small tell them to them and if [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► they came to you and asked you know I [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► think I think he resolves to pages like [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► look at me I live upstairs mimi and this [TS]

00:46:52 ◼   ► one says I don't know um but during my [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► drinking years I had no keys because i [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► had no I had no nothing to put a key had [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► no home I had no thing I had no thing [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► and I had no keys and I remember feeling [TS]

00:47:05 ◼   ► like that was some kind of minor triumph [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► like a Buddha I felt like I was headed [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► that direction i was like a drunk Buddha [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► you sound almost like a beach is like [TS]

00:47:16 ◼   ► one of the beach like very confused [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► about religion and drugs [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► yeah well I because and that's exactly [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► right i was trying to I was imagining [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► that through being fucked up all the [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► time i was actually climbing the ladder [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► of enlightenment uh it turns out that i [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► was not i wasn't even I was I wasn't [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► holding the ladder of enlightenment but [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► a but i remember when i got my first key [TS]

00:47:38 ◼   ► somebody gave me a key to their place [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► they were like all right you know you [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► can [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► here's a key to my place you can use the [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► B come in and use the bathroom shower [TS]

00:47:47 ◼   ► clean up or whatever I was like I got a [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► key [TS]

00:47:49 ◼   ► I have a key I have responsibilities and [TS]

00:47:51 ◼   ► this is at a time when I didn't have an [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► ID so having a key was like wow this is [TS]

00:47:57 ◼   ► my connection to I'm now I'm now [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► reconnecting to use this is definitely [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► met this is densely metaphorical John [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► yeah I had a key and then I got a second [TS]

00:48:07 ◼   ► key and so I needed a ring and the [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► second key was a key to a ford aerostar [TS]

00:48:13 ◼   ► minivan that a guy let me crash in it [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► was like like you can crash at my house [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► because i'm paying rent my roommate span [TS]

00:48:23 ◼   ► rent but I have this van out back you [TS]

00:48:25 ◼   ► can stay in the van [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► and i'll connect the van to a battery [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► charger so the lights stay on you when [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► you open the door so you can read so I [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► had a key to a person's house to use the [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► bathroom and a key to this minivan where [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► I was living and I was like I got two [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► keys i got two keys and a keyring look [TS]

00:48:42 ◼   ► at me Here I am two keys top of the [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► world MA [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► that's right and so fast forward five [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► years later I had a job I had my own [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► place I I didn't have a car but I I the [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► job I had three keys or something all of [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► a sudden I've got like six keys on my [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► key ring and I'm feeling I was feeling [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► start to feel dragged down by this got [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► six keys like what have I become my guy [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► was six keys you can come to become [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► you've become a guy who watches fight [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► club too much probably [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► well this was before fight club things [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► are owning you but I had a key to my eye [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► on a key to my apartment I had a key to [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► my practice space i had a key to my I [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► don't really got it together fast [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► well for years that's pretty good [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► fashion Dukakis what mama son even the [TS]

00:49:30 ◼   ► drinking [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► oh I don't talk as a drinker no lady [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► with the rubbing rubbing alcohol Dukakis [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► that's not funny [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► yeah now Greek oh yeah right and so [TS]

00:49:44 ◼   ► anyway so now from 0 to 6 and four years [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► yeah and now i'm not i keep approved it [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► i keep it keep it to do I keep it to [TS]

00:49:52 ◼   ► four keys but i think i think it's a lot [TS]

00:49:55 ◼   ► like the compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► I mean you should have as many cases you [TS]

00:49:58 ◼   ► need let's take that is red but there is [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► something a little bit over compensating [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► about the giant ass keychain especially [TS]

00:50:04 ◼   ► when you're like a security guard no [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► offense or whatever right [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► you know it seems like the more honest [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► as classes I can't say this was like the [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► more menial position the Marquis you [TS]

00:50:14 ◼   ► have to have that's true i got regular [TS]

00:50:17 ◼   ► you know you'll get jail you're gonna [TS]

00:50:19 ◼   ► get back pain look at us we're student [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h guy doesn't carry [TS]

00:50:23 ◼   ► around a big ring of keys that was my [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► first one my second objection about [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► mobile phones my first objection about [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► mobile phones when they got popular was [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► everybody uses them is a dick tarde like [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► why are you talking in a restaurant you [TS]

00:50:35 ◼   ► talk about the big mobile phones there i [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► mean like when star tax [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► popular likes a 97 98 or whatever and I [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► and that's what my whole life phone guy [TS]

00:50:43 ◼   ► percent started cuz i would take off my [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► shoes and start talking to it really [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► loud it because I I know and I to this [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► day is doing wonder i still wonder how [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► many people are actually talking to [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► someone on the phone because you just [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► like crazy homeless person especially [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► the bluetooth you know it's crazy but um [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► but the second reason is like you're [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► using this as the signifier of power you [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► know in in the same way that you got the [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► butcher keychain like if you're talking [TS]

00:51:06 ◼   ► on the phone at lunch [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► you're not a powerful person in a [TS]

00:51:09 ◼   ► powerful person is allowed to eat [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► without doing work but there's minute [TS]

00:51:12 ◼   ► they're most people's conception of what [TS]

00:51:15 ◼   ► a powerful person looks like only goes [TS]

00:51:18 ◼   ► up so high 22 stuck to middle management [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► you know like most people the highest [TS]

00:51:24 ◼   ► they can conceive yes is the middle [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► manager and so they emulate the middle [TS]

00:51:28 ◼   ► managers taste in clothes and cars is so [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► dispiriting houses in music and culture [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► the middle manager is is the [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► aspirational unit for for the vast [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► majority and somebody like you who has a [TS]

00:51:43 ◼   ► concept of what truly look what the rich [TS]

00:51:48 ◼   ► and powerful look like you know the [TS]

00:51:50 ◼   ► middle managers was always going to be [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► craft for me my my goal is always to [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► look like somebody who has so much money [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► that they're still driving in 1967 Volvo [TS]

00:51:59 ◼   ► and and I separate like that rich guy [TS]

00:52:03 ◼   ► got call newman and what wearing ya like [TS]

00:52:05 ◼   ► like Carl Newman rich guy wearing his [TS]

00:52:07 ◼   ► grandfather's canadian money that's not [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► likely less like being really rich [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► that's like me that's Canadian rich [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► comedian money's worth more than [TS]

00:52:12 ◼   ► american money i remember was a dollar [TS]

00:52:14 ◼   ► 66 American we stayed at a really super [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► nice hotel in vancouver one time not the [TS]

00:52:19 ◼   ► Sylvia hotel nerd but i but I really [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► nice hotel and it was like it was like [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► fifty dollars a night it's ridiculous [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► yeah doctors are going i think it's what [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► you're talking about old money old money [TS]

00:52:30 ◼   ► old man i was room with a guy who is old [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► money and and he looked homeless but I [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► was like homeless like I don't even know [TS]

00:52:37 ◼   ► I don't know [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► ok here's me I'm so middle management [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► that like I would go like old LL Bean [TS]

00:52:41 ◼   ► but it probably wasn't it was probably [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► like like a bespoke hobo shirt lecture [TS]

00:52:46 ◼   ► we handmade hobo sure if I know that's a [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► classic that's why I want to talk to you [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► about the buckaroos [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► guys better handmade hobo shirt i spent [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► a couple of months traveling in europe [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► with one of the guys who was the heir of [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► the Busch beer family who did they [TS]

00:53:06 ◼   ► filled with the Anheuser at all do you [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► think the big head like shotgun [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► hillbilly type shit going on [TS]

00:53:11 ◼   ► oh well no I think the bushes took over [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► the operation on senator carl sanders [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► the Anheuser just kept on there for four [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► sho i think then Hauser's I mean they're [TS]

00:53:22 ◼   ► they're in there but the bushes were the [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► dynasty case are good and and this guy [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► who's yet yet he had bush in his name [TS]

00:53:32 ◼   ► like he was his great-great-grandson or [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► something like justice or something [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► even we were traveling together in here [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► for a couple of months and sky he drank [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► two liters of coke a day and he looked [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► like the guy that was look like a guy [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► that was playing playing video games for [TS]

00:53:52 ◼   ► a living like he didn't he didn't look [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► like somebody that's sounds like [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► inbreeding a little bit did not look [TS]

00:53:59 ◼   ► like somebody who had 24 Clyde that [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► sounds like it's not a diversity in the [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► Missouri bush no no he wasn't he was a [TS]

00:54:06 ◼   ► handsome enough guy but he sure did a [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► big banjo player very curious character [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► himself with this kind of like whatever [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► you give me get another glass of coke [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► and I swear to you he had Clydesdales [TS]

00:54:17 ◼   ► take him to his junior prom like this [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► guy this guy this guy could like cigars [TS]

00:54:23 ◼   ► on a hundred-dollar bills and it was the [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► same team as matches did he want the [TS]

00:54:29 ◼   ► class officer was it i was just i went [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► like this is wrong with the real shop [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► it's like the whole fucking fucking of [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► course you're gonna have clientele just [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► pushed Donna Donna and I and every man's [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► there [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► yes no because here's the thing and this [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► is like royalty like with royalty like [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► it seems like such a cakewalk but it's [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► just it's just constant bullshit if [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► you're royalty and I imagine if you're a [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► bush that kind of bush like it just must [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► suck you sure your dad will go you know [TS]

00:54:57 ◼   ► what we're doing Clydesdales he's like [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► can I just get a town car fuck you fuck [TS]

00:55:01 ◼   ► you get going on get again I get selling [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► you on a horse like it right we're [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► having the gym [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► i'm here at the house cockiness [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► guardhouse card you would be by that and [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► especially like if you're if you're like [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► Bob and you feel like you've got to [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► constantly be be showing your true [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► finess yeah well this is the this is the [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► reason that my that I think the best [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► thing in life is to be about my age 43 [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► and then learn that you're actually from [TS]

00:55:27 ◼   ► an obscenely rich family and they've [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► been keeping it from you the whole time [TS]

00:55:30 ◼   ► as the test your mettle [TS]

00:55:32 ◼   ► yeah just it just because they wanted [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► you to grow up with some intestinal [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► fortitude and then they're like okay [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► here's your inheritance [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► I keep waiting for it i wake up every [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► morning and think is there is the knock [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► on the door gonna come today my rich [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► uncle is he going to come and tell us he [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► strikes me that you are you live and not [TS]

00:55:50 ◼   ► sleep in anticipation of a lot of door [TS]

00:55:52 ◼   ► knocks well this is the problem i feel [TS]

00:55:55 ◼   ► like i know it's an alien race an [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► attorney there have you sign some papers [TS]

00:55:59 ◼   ► haha there are a lot of people that can [TS]

00:56:03 ◼   ► be knocking on my door and today you [TS]

00:56:05 ◼   ► know what's gonna happen a guy's gonna [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► knock on my door here I get it I get a [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► text message two days ago from a friend [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► and he says have a favorite free to ask [TS]

00:56:12 ◼   ► of you it's a really small thing it [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► doesn't require any work on your part [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► and immediately I'm like yeah right if [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► that if that were true you wouldn't be [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► like softening me up with this pretext [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► like literally pretext like telling [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► somebody I want you to be honest it [TS]

00:56:28 ◼   ► means literally the opposite yeah I want [TS]

00:56:29 ◼   ► to be honest this this favor is going to [TS]

00:56:31 ◼   ► require nothing you when I was like [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► alright so what is the favor so he text [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► back i bought my girlfriend a sailboat [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► and I want to bring it to your house [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► defecation it's not complicated than it [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► does work for Duff McKagan hat guy I'm [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► gonna bring the sailboat over to your [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► house and clean it up for a couple of [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► days in your yard so I can give it to [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► her on christmas and happy like this is [TS]

00:57:01 ◼   ► really pushing the definition of [TS]

00:57:03 ◼   ► requires nothing from me like requires [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► nothing for me other than a year in my [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► yard for two days cleaning a sailboat [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► but I mean I don't mean it the way it [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► sounds but what are your neighbors gonna [TS]

00:57:13 ◼   ► think when they've got a real i know i [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► don't mean in terms of like Oh John [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► Rocker should get him a nice elbow [TS]

00:57:18 ◼   ► i'm thinking more like holy shit how is [TS]

00:57:20 ◼   ► this gonna fuck with their vision of you [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► as a man with a sword and a bathroom I [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► think it just goes right in right in [TS]

00:57:26 ◼   ► keeping with it like that like that [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► whole money thing called my now he's [TS]

00:57:30 ◼   ► gotta sell boners yard and there's a guy [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► covered in tattoos out there in december [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► with a with a hose like cleaning this [TS]

00:57:38 ◼   ► thing out and I swear to you he is on [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► his way here right now like he's he's in [TS]

00:57:44 ◼   ► traffic towing this sailboat over to my [TS]

00:57:47 ◼   ► house so that's the knock on the door [TS]

00:57:49 ◼   ► i'm looking for today I I i have a [TS]

00:57:52 ◼   ► passing interest in in lots of things [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► one of my passing interest is in cons I [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► don't know a lot about it like some kind [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► of short turns any song [TS]

00:58:00 ◼   ► well you know sometimes you do the short [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► kind of the long con right that's the [TS]

00:58:03 ◼   ► whole idea and people to understand no [TS]

00:58:04 ◼   ► you know this John roddick you been to [TS]

00:58:06 ◼   ► you doubt but the con it is confidence [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► it's just did this start let me just [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► guess did you start with watching this [TS]

00:58:14 ◼   ► thing has been in use since you were i [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► discovered is staying after watching law [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► and order [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► I think why don't you didn't see the [TS]

00:58:20 ◼   ► sting in the seventies now I did I did [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► know that was part of it i don't think [TS]

00:58:25 ◼   ► that I think that looks like a TV movie [TS]

00:58:26 ◼   ► it [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► it's ok but i think it looks like a TV [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► movie except that anytime Paul Newman is [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► on the screen you're looking into the [TS]

00:58:33 ◼   ► face of God [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► yeah and I'm a big robertshaw fan to [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► dial on again truly amazing actor actor [TS]

00:58:40 ◼   ► he's great in the jaws he's great in [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► Dirty Dozen he's great [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► which is a better movie than you think [TS]

00:58:44 ◼   ► he is really really good and force 10 [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► from navarone oh that's the that's like [TS]

00:58:50 ◼   ► three dozen junior now that the one with [TS]

00:58:52 ◼   ► Mark Hamill know it's the one where is [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► for sorry sorry yeah I'm not distracted [TS]

00:58:57 ◼   ► right now because if you search for [TS]

00:58:59 ◼   ► buckaroos on google the first return is [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► says welcome to buckaroos the leader in [TS]

00:59:03 ◼   ► pipe insulation support systems and [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► that's fucking Holocaust right there [TS]

00:59:07 ◼   ► well that's really strange because [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► there's a bar in seattle called [TS]

00:59:09 ◼   ► buckaroos it a key bar and they're the [TS]

00:59:12 ◼   ► leaders in pipe installation if you [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► don't accept that conduit now you know [TS]

00:59:19 ◼   ► what we're not doing this pipe [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► I'm don't i don't want to make you [TS]

00:59:24 ◼   ► paranoid John but I think somebody [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► calling you in saying could you do me a [TS]

00:59:30 ◼   ► favor by letting me watch [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► my sailboat in your yard that feels some [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► little Ricky Jay and me that says that [TS]

00:59:38 ◼   ► feels a little bit like a con [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► that's like a con like it's like a night [TS]

00:59:41 ◼   ► some kind of nigerian thing like if you [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► watch my sailboat for two days right I'm [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► gonna like rich I'm gonna bust Oh riches [TS]

00:59:48 ◼   ► on you like your he says you look I just [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► need five minutes to urinate could you [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► please watch the mizzenmast I'm thinking [TS]

00:59:53 ◼   ► tomorrow you don't have any more candles [TS]

00:59:55 ◼   ► that's gone candles gone and you're just [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► sitting [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► sitting [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► waiting for the door to knock there's a [TS]

01:00:01 ◼   ► there's strangely a part of me that woke [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► up this morning and thought what i need [TS]

01:00:06 ◼   ► to do is is packed one suitcase and [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► leave the rest behind pack one suitcase [TS]

01:00:15 ◼   ► and burn this whole house down like a [TS]

01:00:17 ◼   ► Norwegian funeral boat and just back to [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► one bag back to one key one key one bag [TS]

01:00:26 ◼   ► i think that's that's that's that's how [TS]

01:00:28 ◼   ► i woke up today [TS]

01:00:29 ◼   ► yeah i met when i started sorting [TS]