0:00:00hello hi John how are you I'm Merlin I'm
0:00:10fine
0:00:10yeah yeah sound dolorous mm you know I
0:00:18this is the time of year for the lower
0:00:21but I'm a few days ago I i rake all the
0:00:25leaves in my yard and and I literally I
0:00:30literally raped all the leaves in my
0:00:32iron all the leaves that were there then
0:00:34and I put them in piles and I said to
0:00:37myself as one does i said you had better
0:00:40pick these leaves up now before it rains
0:00:43and then I got distracted by a butterfly
0:00:47or something something distracted me and
0:00:50now I woke up this morning and it's
0:00:52raining it's raining on all my leaf leaf
0:00:54piles and which means that
0:00:57yeah well what does that mean is that
0:01:00like going to wash your car it rains
0:01:01things to disperse the leaves are no fun
0:01:03to jump in with the well they're no fun
0:01:05to jump in for sure but no no i have to
0:01:07i can trick him anymore and pick him up
0:01:10with a shovel a giant giant piles of
0:01:13soggy wet decaying leaves the whole
0:01:16different game now I I am I would have
0:01:20to guess knowing you i don't know i feel
0:01:22i know you somewhat well I could see you
0:01:24just want a philosophical level raking
0:01:26leaves as part of a larger process is
0:01:29absolutely true
0:01:30ok it is that only part is probably as a
0:01:32homeowner is a fire hazard you want to
0:01:35keep the the leaf people out of your
0:01:38yard picking around
0:01:39well there's a couple of reasons that I
0:01:40don't subcontract this leaf raking
0:01:43business one of them is that I make my
0:01:45own compost so the the leaves especially
0:01:49from the catalpa tree are are great for
0:01:52producing loamy compost in the spring
0:01:56and also i use the leaves to insulate
0:02:01potted plants that I leave outside over
0:02:05the winter
0:02:06yeah I all this is stuff that you can
0:02:10learn in Sunset magazine it's not an
0:02:12invented at sunset magazine was about
0:02:15new ways to make iced tea
0:02:16well in a way it is you know you
0:02:19remember Sunset magazine when we were
0:02:20growing up was dating a heavy rebrand I
0:02:22like the redesign its it's amazing I
0:02:24mean I i used to love it as a kid but it
0:02:27was all about hottub parties and
0:02:29seventies moms and and how to decorate
0:02:32your bungalow and and again how to make
0:02:35iced tea but now it's about hipster moms
0:02:38and it's a very sexy magazine i have to
0:02:43say that is it's on our bathroom now
0:02:45I've used it
0:02:46oh right yeah no I mean to learn about
0:02:49you know to learn about yeah things
0:02:51permaculture you know the one thing
0:02:53that's missing from the new Sunset
0:02:55magazine centerfold
0:02:57well no remember I don't see him out
0:03:00when he grew up in florida so I'm not
0:03:01even sure you remember the old Sunset
0:03:03magazine I thought was a peculiarly
0:03:05California or maybe west coast well it's
0:03:09just that covers covers Arizona I think
0:03:12California Oregon Washington and Alaska
0:03:15even but the old magazine had a whole
0:03:18section of classified ads in the back
0:03:20one of the main features of which were
0:03:24ads for ads for juvenile detention
0:03:30schools and like fat camps and there
0:03:35were other like three pages of ads in
0:03:37the back of sunset for what to do with
0:03:40your troubled kid and some some of about
0:03:43fat unruly doesn't like raking leaves
0:03:47yeah i'm gonna come down to the same
0:03:48James Academy would be a picture of a
0:03:50chubby girl with tears streaming down
0:03:52her face you know government believes
0:03:55you can't make me and I remember as a
0:04:00kid reading this reading sunset I get to
0:04:02the back and it was like it was like
0:04:04this taboo area because i was constantly
0:04:08sort of idea that I wasn't afraid that
0:04:11they were going to send me away to
0:04:12juvenile camp although you know there
0:04:15was a period in right before 11th grade
0:04:17with you
0:04:18it went good understood it well no she
0:04:21actually got all these she got all the
0:04:25application forms from all these schools
0:04:28and had me fill them out as some kind of
0:04:33tough love program like I've actually
0:04:36filled out these application forms to
0:04:38all these cool not the fat camps all I
0:04:40probably should have gone to those two
0:04:42as a prophylactic well now you know it's
0:04:46never too early to get to get in
0:04:48longhand yeah yeah sure it was an essay
0:04:51portion there were SI portions and this
0:04:54this was where I this is where i
0:04:56thwarted the process by writing
0:04:59hilarious and terrible essays and i
0:05:03iDrive drugged-out the process until it
0:05:05was too late and I know it wasn't what
0:05:09may be the best idea to like have me
0:05:11fill out the applications if you know
0:05:13what I mean it wasn't a thing I wanted
0:05:15to do was she monitoring your results
0:05:18I mean what you know in other words
0:05:20she's getting them for form sanity
0:05:23well yeah but I was pretty good at
0:05:26writing something that passed muster
0:05:28that also said that also on closer
0:05:32closer inspection that for fuck your
0:05:35grandma she your the Marxist in jail his
0:05:37right now a little bits of paper
0:05:38yeah everything is if you if you if you
0:05:41peed on them then the truetype would
0:05:43would become revealed who
0:05:46that's it that's an old spy trick the
0:05:48disappearing ink that you you you can
0:05:51only see one when you pee on the
0:05:53document now where's Len come into that
0:05:55I don't think Len and don't know I'm
0:05:58sorry I apologize not the not the not
0:06:01the the Soviet dictator of the the fruit
0:06:04lemon lemon right it was a big companies
0:06:07limited urine with those big component
0:06:08cryptography well you can write in lemon
0:06:11juice and then I think if you pee on it
0:06:13it is revealed
0:06:15that's got a pigeon drop its well no no
0:06:20this will be this is now used to get
0:06:22having I had a Casper the ghost
0:06:23disappearing ink book but i think that I
0:06:25I probably was not scratching hard
0:06:27enough that i did not get any
0:06:28coded messages i was aware of the
0:06:30perfect ones that I see every with her
0:06:32haha well I think here's the thing about
0:06:36coded messages there have to be two
0:06:37people a senator first of all and then a
0:06:41receiver so if you were just if you were
0:06:43just squeezing lemon juice on blank
0:06:45pieces of paper looking for messages in
0:06:47your radar return is going to be pretty
0:06:49small so that's a very John is extremely
0:06:52healthy approach but i would like you
0:06:53for a moment to just consider that there
0:06:55could also be a problem of having sent
0:06:57coded messages to yourself that even you
0:06:58don't understand what like I called in
0:07:01my thirties
0:07:02uh-huh I mean I was peeing on everything
0:07:04John I was squeezing a fucking lemon on
0:07:06everything that didn't move
0:07:07you know I was dropping pigeons but you
0:07:10know what you ended up married so
0:07:12something must have been working it was
0:07:14always walking on a wire John did you
0:07:16have your and put a note in a bottle and
0:07:18throw into the ocean now I don't think I
0:07:21have what you know I've done stuff like
0:07:23that i tried to put things on balloons
0:07:25and imagine that it would do something
0:07:27interesting but I've never done it in a
0:07:29bottle have you done that you put it was
0:07:30the Puget Sound where you throw that
0:07:31where you throw that out in the Pacific
0:07:33Ocean
0:07:34well I i I'd like to circle back i'm not
0:07:36keeping three-by-five cards but i'd like
0:07:38to strap on six already and I got a lot
0:07:40of follow-up on all of these things like
0:07:42that circle back to the question or to
0:07:43the comment i put things on balloons to
0:07:46see what happens when fresh card and
0:07:49about not do that do you live anywhere
0:07:50like you get google maps to live
0:07:52anywhere near a drugstore you have
0:07:53access to index cards
0:07:54I'm not trying to force it down your
0:07:56throat john i'm just saying you have a
0:07:57lot of problems and if you had some kind
0:07:59of a in now in human-computer interface
0:08:02be called an affordance if you had an
0:08:03affordance for capturing your thoughts
0:08:05in some kind of taxonomical way that you
0:08:07could theoretically put into a pocket
0:08:08i'm not trying to unload try to force
0:08:11anything done anything I'm just saying I
0:08:12don't have time i was that I was at a
0:08:15goodwill yesterday and this goodwill you
0:08:17know every goodwill is organized
0:08:18differently by whatever you know to
0:08:21conform to the same mind what everyone
0:08:24around back to that because I've always
0:08:26been obsessed by who decided it's like
0:08:29it's wooden souvenirs no one ever needed
0:08:31like that a section people get promoted
0:08:34up the corporate ladder at goodwill and
0:08:36they become a manager I think first a
0:08:38manager of a certain section and then
0:08:40romance there's just something simple
0:08:42like short like shirts common
0:08:44short-sleeved think their sessions that
0:08:47it'sit's these people these individual
0:08:49people's obsessions that dictate how
0:08:51within the within the the the you know
0:08:55the general principle of a goodwill how
0:08:57the thing is organized and this goodwill
0:08:59was being managed by a seemed to me he
0:09:03was a he was almost 60 50 60 year old
0:09:06nigerian man huh who was very elegant
0:09:10son of a prince but he had terrible body
0:09:13odor and he obviously was obsessed with
0:09:17office supplies because there was it was
0:09:20that it was a section of the office
0:09:22supplies which is usually relegated to
0:09:24like a little corner of the area where
0:09:26the old carburetors and battery charges
0:09:29are this guy had office supplies for two
0:09:32whole rows paper and three-by-five cards
0:09:35unopened stacked to infinity and I was
0:09:40walking through this area tonight and I
0:09:42thought of you I was like oh my god it's
0:09:44it's it's it's the treasure of the
0:09:46sierra madre for Merlin man look at this
0:09:49these are vintage three-by-five cards to
0:09:52this isn't like the amount you're
0:09:53grasping they knew how to make them I'm
0:09:55i have to be honest with you Jon I'm
0:09:56reluctant to talk about any of this
0:09:58because like if this had that girl in it
0:10:00would pretty much be my fantasy you got
0:10:02you got good will you got organization
0:10:04you got nigeria and and you've got
0:10:06something that as recently as this
0:10:08morning and I don't take us off track
0:10:10here but as recently as this morning
0:10:11these these uh let's say problems that's
0:10:14a gift that I have where evidence in the
0:10:16cells I i like to be very focused
0:10:17sometimes and some of my daughter wants
0:10:20to play with something I i will organize
0:10:22the parts i love or no no no
0:10:25well organized organizer magna tiles I
0:10:27organizer plastic animals don't do it
0:10:30I've talked site i have different
0:10:31buckets now for all of her little
0:10:33plastic plastic toys that are
0:10:37anthropomorphic and/or people because I
0:10:40got different buckets for that but also
0:10:42the Toy Story ones are in their own
0:10:43because they should be able to play
0:10:44together but the big tube cats cats go
0:10:48in alongside the the creepy-crawly I
0:10:51don't go into much detail now I can tell
0:10:53it's very easy
0:10:54there's a limited set of colors legos
0:10:56you know the thomas ones i have three
0:10:57different boxes of thomas stuff i'm glad
0:10:59that we're talking about this because
0:11:00when your daughter is a teenager and
0:11:02comes to me and says uncle john i have
0:11:06so many problems you let the coated with
0:11:09us and she can't understand yeah i'm
0:11:11going to say but let me give you let me
0:11:14give you some insight into where some of
0:11:17your where some of your anxiety you came
0:11:20in pretty late in the movie but you
0:11:21still know a lot about the second act
0:11:23but I mean but you know I'm just let's
0:11:26put it this way if there is a torn and
0:11:28felt the index card with teenage girls
0:11:30here and on it please handle it
0:11:32carefully
0:11:33you don't get it do care i will i'm you
0:11:35know i cherish items like that when we
0:11:38got we got nine shows you don't even
0:11:39know where to start that the goodwill
0:11:40thing though the organization we have
0:11:42got to come back to ads too well but
0:11:44never let you go
0:11:45yeah let me just let me just interject
0:11:47there's you and your daughter are
0:11:49looking for something to do as an
0:11:50activity you live blocks from the
0:11:54Pacific Ocean and I suggest that you go
0:11:56down there periodically write a letter
0:11:58to whom it may concern put it in a
0:12:01bottle put a cork in the bottle and
0:12:02throw it in the ocean know i know i know
0:12:04in San Francisco's night cream it's not
0:12:06create the pollution police are gonna be
0:12:08all over you but this is big stuff this
0:12:11bottle in the ocean stuff is big big
0:12:13stuff maybe throw off the body couldn't
0:12:16throw it off the bridge that you did
0:12:17know somebody would occupy you can get
0:12:20occupied i have one minute car that says
0:12:21do not discuss occupywallstreet it's all
0:12:24one card he did you write in big letters
0:12:26do not discuss running again a second
0:12:29card but you gotta throw you have to
0:12:31periodically write a note was great on
0:12:33so many levels John it works on so many
0:12:35levels even if these the theoretical
0:12:37purpose never happens i think that the I
0:12:39used to explain to her when when when
0:12:41she was a baby I walk up the street and
0:12:43say that specific ocean is the biggest
0:12:44body of water in the world and if you'd
0:12:47like to know you and I said to my
0:12:48daughter every morning I said that's the
0:12:49biggest body of water in the world i
0:12:51said and it you could you could get in a
0:12:53boat and go all the way across that to
0:12:55another country and I said if you can
0:12:57you can if you want to manage projects
0:13:00and put up with bullshit you can do
0:13:02anything in life and i will tell her
0:13:03that every morning huh
0:13:04because my wife is a minute my wife we
0:13:07need to make it hard to get a shower
0:13:09when you have a kid so we give her a few
0:13:10minutes I'd go up and I would explain
0:13:11the world by pointing to the largest
0:13:13body of water in the world
0:13:15listen that's the largest body in the
0:13:16world and if you're prepared to manage
0:13:17projects and put up with bullshit you
0:13:19can do anything
0:13:20mmm it also helps to ask people things
0:13:22as a favor he never done that
0:13:27write that down write that down no car
0:13:29because that's that that's a pet peeve
0:13:32oh you know you know you know who hates
0:13:34that who you know who hates that i think
0:13:37his famous line is a sign i was it
0:13:39sometimes it does hurt to ask this man
0:13:41must lie but that is all I look no no I
0:13:48was a goodwill sweeper I used to go with
0:13:50all the time and let's clarify here
0:13:51we're talking about when you and I were
0:13:53going to the good ones back in the day
0:13:54this is a whole different world entirely
0:13:56different world entirely different world
0:13:58is for Kim Gordon ruin vintage fashion
0:14:00and they started to so no we're not so
0:14:02helpfully she's having a hard time right
0:14:04now
0:14:04yeah let's talk all right and now it's
0:14:07her base standard tuning base
0:14:08you know I've never I've never went into
0:14:11the fetishizing Sonic Youth alternate
0:14:15tunings right but she did no indeed
0:14:18going to easy dismissiveness that was 85
0:14:2186 United that it did that I went
0:14:23through that phase ready dismissiveness
0:14:25but you know that the people were
0:14:26talking about us on accuse you no
0:14:28alternate tunings and then you see all
0:14:30those pictures of like yeah it's a jazz
0:14:32master and you stuck two drumsticks in
0:14:34there and he's hitting it with a hammer
0:14:35I think he's the one that has 4 d's on
0:14:37it what fucking alternate tuning matters
0:14:39and that's it Joyce he's gonna go with a
0:14:41hammer this is the problem i saw them
0:14:43and then the next night their equipment
0:14:45was stolen it was I was not involved but
0:14:47it sucked because they didn't even know
0:14:49how some of the cars were tuned and they
0:14:51were pretty sure they couldn't replicate
0:14:52it so i think i think Tom Tom violence
0:14:55potentially shadow over that I think I
0:14:58think there are certain songs that just
0:15:00had to come off the replicator that
0:15:01anymore because I guitar was 21 some and
0:15:04never to begin but you're never getting
0:15:06that this gets respect to the goodwill
0:15:07how many really really good guitar
0:15:09screwdrivers you can find in pairs be
0:15:11honest because it depends on how its
0:15:13organized and this is my this is my
0:15:14concern
0:15:15I think the problem is you going to
0:15:16goodwill and as you're describing this
0:15:18nigerian prince you could see a level of
0:15:20organization that reflects a certain
0:15:22certain human Felton song that goes way
0:15:27beyond how anyone would ever think about
0:15:29buying something used for not much money
0:15:31I think I connection between those two
0:15:33things is virtually non-existent i think
0:15:35at the corporate level I don't even have
0:15:36the corporation they probably probably
0:15:37have a card table somewhere this is
0:15:39goodwill on it but but i think the
0:15:40people this man right
0:15:42and let me just say this last thing on
0:15:44this because I want you to cover closed
0:15:45and then home items but I'm gonna talk
0:15:47about two areas i'm gonna talk about
0:15:48music and electronics now music it's
0:15:52always a complete mess
0:15:54the these are you talking about the
0:15:55music section of Google if you go find
0:15:57records you go to find like a giant
0:15:58thing of cassettes you want to pick up a
0:16:00package single boy feels good to say
0:16:02that Tupac a single huh you want to get
0:16:04any of that like you're screwed I mean
0:16:06what oh yes except if you go to the
0:16:08hipster Goodwill's there are good ones
0:16:10now triple the triple the price on every
0:16:12single thing right now but they
0:16:13organized their music section that's
0:16:15what hipsters just get this topic will
0:16:17so that they can so they can put all the
0:16:19damn Fogelberg records and in in order
0:16:21and they do have all of them they do
0:16:23meanwhile who the the cups and saucers
0:16:27and the tupperware sections are just
0:16:29reject piles of debris and attractive
0:16:32because these these kids are grown you
0:16:34know they're organizing the skinny ties
0:16:36and they're organizing the cds and the
0:16:39rest of the good ones go to hell yeah
0:16:41thanks to google for some of my least
0:16:43favorite places to call boy
0:16:45first-principles here's the problem it
0:16:48used to be that somebody in your family
0:16:49died and whether or not you like them
0:16:51you did not keep their clothes now this
0:16:53is good for us write this but still it
0:16:55every once in a while every one swallow
0:16:57does not started it was actually of I'm
0:17:00like to smell mothballs and i'll run to
0:17:03the back and it's some guy some guy died
0:17:05and I is 25 suits from the fifties are
0:17:09in there but of course they're all 94
0:17:11small if these little girls by your
0:17:12seats
0:17:13alright it's a it's it's kinda there's a
0:17:15slight smell if there's definitely
0:17:16mothballs mildew and dreams deferred and
0:17:19that go fast because that's going to be
0:17:20some good-ass suits but here's the thing
0:17:22i think they realize that I blame Gordon
0:17:25shown obsessive magazine we're in some
0:17:26kind of fucking further Bella today now
0:17:28there is cherry-picking if I could say
0:17:30going on at
0:17:31every level their cherry-picking no no
0:17:33it's always been that the people of
0:17:34goodwill or salvation army they always
0:17:36get first they get dibs if a boa came in
0:17:39and the shits out the door in Fogelberg
0:17:42got plenty of those for me i'm talking
0:17:44about backroom cherry-pick oh I'm
0:17:46talking about a very high level on this
0:17:47is that this is a walmart style model of
0:17:49distribution will now be have it on put
0:17:51it on the United think I think what
0:17:53happens now is you go drop that shit off
0:17:55at the dumpster and at the goodwill or
0:17:57whatever right and I think that goes to
0:17:59cut some kind of disturbing central
0:18:00processing probably in reno nevada and
0:18:02and and and lots of the Dominican
0:18:05children separate that but they want to
0:18:07hear this is the this is the thing
0:18:08they're 75 different levels of
0:18:10cherry-picking going on at any thrift
0:18:12store you know that's getting picked
0:18:13from its getting picked at central
0:18:15distribution it's getting picked now
0:18:17they have all these are all that they
0:18:18have these boutique sections etcetera
0:18:20etcetera and that's getting picked by
0:18:22the people who work there and then who
0:18:25work at the at the individual places and
0:18:27then that first rung of professional
0:18:29pictures that show up at eight o'clock
0:18:31on monday morning you're talking about
0:18:33the idea the EPA flea market types
0:18:36well and yeah getting SC people to make
0:18:39a living on on reselling shit they find
0:18:42a thrift stores I used to date a girl
0:18:43who was a picker and she and i would go
0:18:48out to these thrift stores out in the
0:18:49middle of nowhere and we'd be walking
0:18:52through the aisles and people would be
0:18:54coming down the aisle the other way and
0:18:56as they let's just call this girl let's
0:19:00say her name is a Maurice that's the
0:19:04lack of a better name but so it can be
0:19:06walking through the island this person
0:19:08would come be walking toward us and as
0:19:11they pass us they say hello Maurice and
0:19:15she go
0:19:16oh hello Stan and there'd be all this
0:19:20like derision dripping off of both of
0:19:23them and you know and then the other
0:19:25person would wheel their cart full of
0:19:26full of nike air jordans and torn
0:19:30t-shirts and and horsehair jackets and
0:19:32whatever else asked us and I would just
0:19:34a little cool cool picker friction
0:19:37yeah and I'd say how do you know that
0:19:39person we're in the middle of were like
0:19:40out in monroe
0:19:41or whatever she's like oh I know all
0:19:43these people and they're like they're
0:19:45like full of hate for each other because
0:19:47because that that's what they do there
0:19:49with my comments like comics people like
0:19:51any of these people who are digging you
0:19:53know and you can you certainly met
0:19:55rendered people like this right now the
0:19:56end and musical instrument people well
0:19:59that's that's different because that's a
0:20:00that becomes a challenge I think this is
0:20:02happening I don't want to sound
0:20:03conspiratorial but i think is happening
0:20:04at a much deeper level now I think the
0:20:06goodwill 95 right by all my Paul
0:20:08Westerberg looking clothes and I think
0:20:10that stuff was going from the dumpster
0:20:12to to the mothball room and straight
0:20:13onto the show floor probably within a
0:20:15matter of minutes
0:20:16what I'm telling you is happening today
0:20:17I think all that stuff is going on
0:20:18trucks to a central center they got
0:20:20photos of Kim Gordon up possibly the zoo
0:20:22deschanel you know or you know who's
0:20:24only with the zoo II know Zoe did she
0:20:28ever did she ever get mad that she looks
0:20:29like a Perry such me it happened
0:20:32sometime astronauts i think i think the
0:20:35best story I ever heard was she was at a
0:20:38baseball game here in Seattle and and
0:20:41some drunk guy and then she made it
0:20:43sound like this happens to her all the
0:20:44time
0:20:44some drunk I was like I know you I know
0:20:47you have a super big fan and she could
0:20:51just tell that they thought she was Katy
0:20:54Perry this is before she be soon she was
0:20:56this is before everybody knew her like
0:20:59Elvis al-fara well no after that but
0:21:03when she was still an indie darling
0:21:04before she was a genuine bona fide
0:21:06celebrity shows doing quite well I heard
0:21:09it is
0:21:09yeah it's made her quite famous but in
0:21:12any case this guy's like no dude I
0:21:14totally know you i love your stuff and
0:21:16she's like yeah you think I'm Katy Perry
0:21:18but I'm not he's like oh no what
0:21:21yes maybe and I think that used to
0:21:24happen to her a lot but now I mean her
0:21:26pictures on every dorm room wall in
0:21:28America she's still get it wrong I
0:21:30stuck-up lucky magazine below but let me
0:21:32let me just let me just put the final
0:21:34capper on this goodwill question
0:21:36probably put that you put the
0:21:37penultimate caprica's like a big capper
0:21:39all right well here's my cash and she'll
0:21:41go ahead if you have to you have to
0:21:43approach thrifting so philosophically
0:21:45and one of those things is if you get if
0:21:47you get obsessed with all the things
0:21:50that you are missing out on if you get
0:21:52obsessed with all of the great things
0:21:54that have been picked
0:21:55by thousand thousand levels of picker
0:21:58above you you it will it will get inside
0:22:02your brain and slowly drive you crazy
0:22:03you will not be able to do anything else
0:22:07but think about going to the thrift
0:22:09stores because thrift stores are like
0:22:11they're like a tide pool stuff stuff
0:22:13comes comes in with the tide it goes out
0:22:16with the tide and you have to just you
0:22:18have to just get out of the thinking
0:22:20that there's anything good there you
0:22:21have to walk into every thrift store
0:22:23with the conviction absolutely
0:22:25everything you know is s no you have to
0:22:27have the zest it's a nun curious like a
0:22:29nun curious and curated Museum of overly
0:22:32normal that you write your hipsters want
0:22:35to go and say oh I'm going to place the
0:22:36Philadelphia with the eyeballs or
0:22:37whatever in this case you could walk in
0:22:39there and you're going to learn if
0:22:41you're watching if you're just sitting
0:22:42around going like Oh am I gonna find a
0:22:43for freshman record you know that's
0:22:45going to limit your vision your skin
0:22:46your mad at the guy who got it before
0:22:47you sure i want to speak in philadelphia
0:22:50i went into a thrift store there one
0:22:52time and I found one of these scenarios
0:22:53block John Rocker should have a blog
0:22:56about place to sleep in but start with
0:22:58start with thrift stores
0:22:59I should have a blog stop i wanted to
0:23:03this place and there is a need and I
0:23:05know what you need a Boswell I'm not
0:23:07gonna put your Boswell I got the biggest
0:23:09Johnson's I've ever met and I think you
0:23:11need a Boswell I don't have I am a big
0:23:13johnson but would you find me a Boswell
0:23:15i can find Boswell you know right go one
0:23:17word Sunset magazine that's two words
0:23:18maybe not sunset maybe i would go to
0:23:20like we've got to come back to ads I
0:23:23will not I will literally not stop
0:23:24talking to come back to ads but you need
0:23:26somebody to be capturing all this I'm
0:23:27doing what I can for now i'm john the
0:23:29baptist not Jesus I'm here for a while
0:23:31to help out
0:23:32you need somebody on a more fundamental
0:23:33level opening a blog and literally
0:23:34capturing all of this facebook is not
0:23:36where it needs to go John's knees in
0:23:38front of people like here's the ring i
0:23:39appear to people on the road to Damascus
0:23:41every fucking day and you know what they
0:23:43do they drive around me I'm standing
0:23:45there Michael oh hello waving my arms
0:23:48which are you Paul know which I Damascus
0:23:52well I'm appearing on the road was that
0:23:54all is well he but who appeared
0:23:58Oh JC prime yeah the big JC wipe a
0:24:05tripod scales on his eyes
0:24:06what does that mean
0:24:07remember that this is the scales fell
0:24:09from his eyes that was on Damascus right
0:24:11maybe it was a maybe he was promoted and
0:24:15I'm dreiling this go ahead please
0:24:17continue to academy was Eureka your
0:24:18recapping is that we're decapping when
0:24:20he doing
0:24:21i'm sure i was talking about this love
0:24:22story went into in Philadelphia where I
0:24:23found you on a man's entire wardrobe an
0:24:28entire you know like 15 suits
0:24:30custom-made shirts beautiful beautiful
0:24:34stuff and it fit me perfectly except
0:24:39that this man had incredibly short arms
0:24:44let's say you look like it like a snappy
0:24:49looking Boris Karloff well except that
0:24:52the pants weren't correspondingly short
0:24:54like if the pants had been short and the
0:24:57sleeve or short i would have bought I
0:24:59would have bought all this stuff I want
0:25:01to dropped five hundred bucks in this
0:25:02place to short me to do anything with
0:25:04this is not a question of you you pull a
0:25:06couple stitches and get an extension or
0:25:08talking like a little my level of
0:25:09fucked-up Police these sleeves went
0:25:12halfway down my arms again like a
0:25:143-quart like a rock and roll concert
0:25:16jersey and this guy had his it had all
0:25:21this stuff tailored like it was it was
0:25:23handmade stuff and the the pants fit
0:25:26they were the right length he was the
0:25:27right height he was a giant of a man and
0:25:31his arms were were half as long as mine
0:25:34either that or he was like he had his
0:25:36suits his custom-tailored so he could do
0:25:39the dishes without rolling up his
0:25:41sleeves or something I don't know but he
0:25:42had pretty wrists
0:25:43it was devastating to me because it was
0:25:46that it was the Holy Grail right i just
0:25:48found an entire wardrobe about that used
0:25:52to belong to a man with class and taste
0:25:54and distinction a tailored for him at a
0:25:57time when people made things by hand
0:26:00again the steak waiter this is they knew
0:26:02that they were making clothes for people
0:26:03and matter this seems had to hold yeah
0:26:05well but turned out that this guy had
0:26:08like flippers instead of our ok but you
0:26:11understand correctly you're telling me
0:26:12that for obvious reasons because of his
0:26:14purpose you know
0:26:15t-rex to live my problems for whatever
0:26:17reason that was unclear probably not a
0:26:19note in the pocket explaining that don't
0:26:21know but whatever the hell that states
0:26:23LOL i'm just say lockets maybe there was
0:26:27maybe there was a note maybe he had a
0:26:29note so didn't truth to the side show at
0:26:32esa i'm just thinking that his whole
0:26:34house he might have had one of those
0:26:35special houses maybe a helper monkey
0:26:37with something extremely interesting
0:26:39going on there but here's the thing i
0:26:41think this is like like meeting the
0:26:43woman you think is perfect and then you
0:26:44find out that she only listens to fish
0:26:46you know in that case you found
0:26:48something was so disturbingly close to
0:26:49perfect for you but it was yet so
0:26:51fundamentally wrong all this happened to
0:26:53me this exact story
0:26:54Maurice Maurice Maurice or Morris
0:26:57because you don't want more that's
0:26:58probably more and more skip is is how
0:27:01you pronounce that was a different
0:27:02different when I'm Maurice Gibb
0:27:05pronounced his name know I just I feel
0:27:07bad for years i've been mispronouncing
0:27:08that it's Morris really pronounced
0:27:11Morris no past and and if you watch the
0:27:15bee gees a man running behind music
0:27:18fantastic first of all you don't realize
0:27:20how great the bee gees were all we know
0:27:22is that there was a period where they
0:27:23were a lot of our tell me how much I
0:27:25realized how great the bee gees were you
0:27:27got a problem with the bee gees i am a
0:27:29super beauty is fun about Massachusetts
0:27:30like Massachusetts it's all good it's
0:27:32all good here ok so here's my question
0:27:34for you
0:27:35obviously because of these of some
0:27:37unknown a disability or bad decision he
0:27:40needed special clothes a and B you're
0:27:42telling me i'm sergeant Morris Morris
0:27:44past I think I was close with Australian
0:27:46goodwill now have in la i'm gonna happen
0:27:48i gotta hang out with this up he needs
0:27:50but you need special clothes because he
0:27:52was bald
0:27:53oh no that's the other 10 that's the one
0:27:54that's not robbing that would be Robins
0:27:57no Morris Morris past you thinking of
0:28:00robbing and his Jojo let's hear the one
0:28:04Robin there's buried I'm sorry Barry
0:28:07berries berries the one
0:28:09yes yeah I'm you know what strike all of
0:28:11that
0:28:12here's the thing was it well you're
0:28:13telling me it was well made clothing
0:28:15oh my god it was so he had the means
0:28:17with bulletproof this guy was he was
0:28:19part of a he was he lived in a big house
0:28:21this guy see that way i would be
0:28:24thinking about that forever everything
0:28:25because somebody had a diamond-tipped
0:28:27cane
0:28:28and I bet the cane was really long I
0:28:30claims and singers the arms didn't reach
0:28:32down to the Almighty Williams ending her
0:28:34I'm Taiwan to tell this story though
0:28:36about this girl I met this girl in a
0:28:38like in Narcotics Anonymous meeting and
0:28:41she was so beautiful and she was so
0:28:43saving all these four paws well she's so
0:28:45smart and she was just choose to call
0:28:48the things that at the time I i thought
0:28:51was what i needed in life and that you
0:28:54know and and meeting her where I did it
0:28:56that all seem to fit and I was like this
0:28:59girl and I we we have this we have
0:29:01allowed the same problems we have a lot
0:29:02of the same gifts and this has been this
0:29:05is a relationship that's this is this is
0:29:08the this may be the one and i went back
0:29:10to her house and on my way to the
0:29:13bathroom I noticed in a corner a shrine
0:29:18I'm not kidding now a shrine to the
0:29:21counting crows like shadow poster
0:29:26no no she had several framed photographs
0:29:30arranged in a shrine like sort of
0:29:33tryptic with Campbell's all come on crow
0:29:39candles and ice and I couldn't let it go
0:29:42unmentioned discounting throws that the
0:29:45thick Rolling Stones banner think that
0:29:46Morrison van or the big van morrison
0:29:48been the film's both managers be the
0:29:51crows the currents the Grossman the
0:29:53black crowes right and Italy that faces
0:29:57cover
0:29:58yeah pretty good they were good cover
0:30:00band yeah yeah actually they had a
0:30:02couple of good this is really mrs. Jones
0:30:04and me write that and then this was back
0:30:07at a time
0:30:08I mean those guys have somehow just
0:30:10threw one jetty like they're still out
0:30:12on the road the counting crows him have
0:30:14converted somewhat by having indie bands
0:30:18open for them i mean i'm not going to
0:30:19say that the counting crows have have
0:30:21have credit of any kind but they're a
0:30:25little close to look at gin blossoms
0:30:26thing where you could go you know what I
0:30:28mean like there's a gym blossom songs i
0:30:30was thinkin there but that yes the
0:30:32dreadlock fat face guy
0:30:34yeah by dating Jennifer Aniston by being
0:30:37like a Hollywood creep he
0:30:39been in her bathtub he had he's he's
0:30:42been he has washed his patchouli so
0:30:44dirty Jesus infinitely innocence
0:30:47bathroom you know how much time she
0:30:48would have this man at home depot just
0:30:50to figure out a solution for keeping all
0:30:51his beard beard and hair shit out of her
0:30:54bathtub
0:30:55although you know she gets she's very
0:30:57time she does and she gives one the
0:30:59impression of somebody who says no you
0:31:01can't shower on my house she seems nice
0:31:05she doesn't seem nice talking about your
0:31:08my mom said I think she seems very
0:31:10pleasant jennifer aniston from the TV
0:31:12show with the hair
0:31:13my mom said one time apropos of nothing
0:31:15she was like you know that meg Ryan even
0:31:18though she always plays roles where
0:31:21she's like a an anxious tidy
0:31:24ball-breaking little bitch she seems
0:31:28like a nice person
0:31:29I don't get that at all but Jennifer
0:31:33Aniston who always plays roles where
0:31:36she's your best friend and kind of also
0:31:38like a little bit
0:31:40she's a little bit tidy but she's like
0:31:42you know always playing roles of like
0:31:44you don't think she seems a little
0:31:45down-to-earth Jennifer Aniston Jennifer
0:31:47Aniston the actress
0:31:49well you know one time I was in the
0:31:51dentist's office and I picked up a copy
0:31:52as well as got a busy week ahead and
0:31:55picked up a copy of architectural digest
0:31:58as one does and I was flipping through
0:32:01the pages get a restaurant and she and
0:32:04there was a spread a photo spread on
0:32:07Jennifer Aniston's new hollywood hills
0:32:09home huh which had been professionally
0:32:12decorated by professional decorators huh
0:32:15and I tried to picture myself standing
0:32:19in that living room in a bathrobe saying
0:32:24yelling into the kitchen
0:32:25jen jen is there i know there was a book
0:32:30on miles van der Rohe in here somewhere
0:32:34and i seem to have misplaced you know
0:32:36where it is
0:32:37I'm sorry honey I didn't hear you i was
0:32:40starting the risotto
0:32:41yeah and and I&I I pictured myself in
0:32:44this room in this bathrobe and I just
0:32:48could not I just didn't feel it but as a
0:32:51man who loves and misses
0:32:52man loves best let's take let's take it
0:32:53as read she's probably got a little
0:32:54extra dough
0:32:55let's say you came in your the new gen
0:32:58bow and first of all obviously you're
0:33:00going to ask that you have the bathtub
0:33:02professionally cleaned to remove all the
0:33:03dirts right now all aspects of Duras
0:33:05you're going to bring in like some kind
0:33:06of fucking CSI team just make sure
0:33:08there's not there's not a lick a
0:33:09dreadlock in there right
0:33:11I i we love a bath without John you love
0:33:13that I knew it wouldn't have occurred to
0:33:14me that he had a fire about but fouled
0:33:17it
0:33:17yeah i guess i would have to insist that
0:33:19she move
0:33:21oh ok go and like throw away the
0:33:23mattress and stuff i mean i know that
0:33:24was a long time would you stay there
0:33:25after she moved her place yeah and
0:33:29roadways I don't know quedo she got you
0:33:31gotta move but tell you what I so I'm
0:33:34technical digest sorry Boswell
0:33:36Architectural Digest got damaged on
0:33:38we're gonna have to have four new shows
0:33:40because it can you hear this cute
0:33:42literally here okay
0:33:44architectural digest on her spread and
0:33:46not now here's something i do and i
0:33:47should not do this I should not do this
0:33:49but my wife who you know is one of the
0:33:54greatest people in the world and she's
0:33:57the best and so there's a dumb thing
0:33:59that I do for her
0:34:00that's a dumb thing we both enjoy which
0:34:02is I pick up silly magazines for her
0:34:04that ladies like that they're silly
0:34:07magazines and things you do this you you
0:34:09leave through i go and get something I
0:34:11pick up some half-and-half and maybe I
0:34:13did you do this you come back with an
0:34:14armful of us weekly's and we can we move
0:34:18past those we were past why do mostly I
0:34:20know which month were up to and so i'll
0:34:22get a vogue i will get a bizarre go
0:34:25through the highlight top level ones
0:34:27first right I'll do a vote I'll do a
0:34:28bizarre failing at that I will fall back
0:34:31on a lucky because everybody loves a
0:34:32lucky it's a magazine about the shopping
0:34:34and style and stickers let me hit you
0:34:36with a helmet with a mind bomb who but
0:34:39do you ever go get italian vogue for her
0:34:42that is a very complicated question the
0:34:46very do you wanna know the answer i do
0:34:47okay well this is a tenuous thing that
0:34:52we do like it there any things cost
0:34:54money and stuff and we probably
0:34:55shouldn't be spending money on a silly
0:34:57magazine enjoyment 25 bucks so I'm only
0:35:00kind of allowed to do that so often but
0:35:03yes what i will do is well first of all
0:35:05so 10
0:35:05vogue no doubt the day it comes out on
0:35:07there i get it i bring out right did you
0:35:09ever see that movie The September issue
0:35:11is a no you gotta know Anna Wintour i
0:35:15think that the big the big guy you look
0:35:16like as in it on telly telly all the big
0:35:22guy look like
0:35:23careful not that way i could be a couple
0:35:25got it right here my holster there are a
0:35:28lot of them actually legit write jokes
0:35:31for the Oscars
0:35:32uh-huh mark John Roderick the block her
0:35:36but i buy these for and then the funny
0:35:39part is and I and you know and it's just
0:35:40yeah but never discuss publicly but it's
0:35:42something i am happy to do she takes
0:35:44care of our daughter and in our home and
0:35:46she's the best person I've ever known
0:35:48and so I get these silly magazines but
0:35:50then I get angry I look at this in
0:35:52magazines i'll be able defecating or
0:35:53occasionally urinating and then the
0:35:55covers of the magazines make me angry
0:35:57I sometimes look through them to see if
0:35:58there's anything you know keep pictures
0:36:01of girls which there are no but you're
0:36:02gonna get in trouble if you look at
0:36:04those four no she's fine with that
0:36:06she's fine with that no no I'm not
0:36:08talking about the naked girls I'm
0:36:09talking about don't look inside women's
0:36:10magazines they contain multitudes of the
0:36:13of of angry making yeah things that you
0:36:18just you you're not supposed to look
0:36:19there don't go there you will turn to
0:36:22stone you will turn into a pillar of
0:36:23salt
0:36:24well and in my racket the heart thing my
0:36:26racket is like I yeah you don't know
0:36:27about this stuff idea from my whatever i
0:36:29do but like I'm going to this idea of
0:36:31like there's not really easy solutions
0:36:32to a lot of stuff and so sometimes i
0:36:34will be confronted with something like a
0:36:35self magazine itself itself is a
0:36:37third-tier magazine if we've gone
0:36:39through the folks if you got through the
0:36:40harper's bazaar's if we've made it
0:36:41through the luckys she does not like a
0:36:43lure lure isn't isn't as a magazine
0:36:45about lipstick on sat for teenagers and
0:36:47lures no good
0:36:48that's right that's right you might get
0:36:50her like a like a 17 but i but I look at
0:36:53herself and itself and I occasionally
0:36:55will take a photo of herself because the
0:36:57cover is is is so rife with nothing but
0:37:02bullshit shortcuts the stuff that you
0:37:04shouldn't be worrying about anyway we'll
0:37:06see this is intoxicated psychology today
0:37:09I will not read a psychology oh you're
0:37:12more than i can and i cannot even I
0:37:15can't look at the cover because now you
0:37:16know you notice now they put cute girls
0:37:17on the cover of Psychology Today now all
0:37:19it is it's a giant photo shoot of like
0:37:22of like cute kind of young moms right
0:37:26like overcoming their problems and that
0:37:29isn't a thing that I I don't you know
0:37:31first of all young moms
0:37:34yeah oh I well just start thinking about
0:37:38young moms and I can't even myself and
0:37:41now let's ok
0:37:43my only thought was this and in this is
0:37:45sometimes and just your point now about
0:37:46the the jennifer aniston problem i like
0:37:48that kind of circle back to that because
0:37:49i think you're wrong i also want suggest
0:37:52the one that's unusual move have one
0:37:54counting exactly one counting crows song
0:37:56that I really like a lot and I think you
0:37:58wouldn't hate it so i'll send you a link
0:37:59to that later but the perfect for
0:38:01jennifer aniston anecdote you know I got
0:38:04a lot of problems you may not know this
0:38:05i have a lot of problems with christina
0:38:07aguilera I don't know that all we talked
0:38:10about how she's ruined singing at sports
0:38:13oh yeah she's terrible but but shiny
0:38:15she's very very shiny but a thing a
0:38:17thing about christina aguilera that i
0:38:19have heard from through the grapevine
0:38:20the music business great line is that
0:38:23then that you would not expect this
0:38:26I don't think looking at her or or
0:38:28interacting with her public image but
0:38:30apparently she is a tremendous
0:38:32professional who arrives at the studio
0:38:35on time and works her ass off all day
0:38:39without ever throwing a coffee and a
0:38:43intern or without ever having a diva
0:38:46tense tantrum she busts her little she's
0:38:49a good singer she bust her balls if you
0:38:52will
0:38:53yes in the studio and has earned the
0:38:55respect of all the like pocket called
0:39:00recording engineers that she's working
0:39:02with them that is no small thing so I
0:39:06mean I can deal with a good deal well
0:39:07you know I get a job I don't like that
0:39:09does not actually surprised me i think
0:39:10they have longevity in this business
0:39:12I'm guessing you have to have you have
0:39:14to have some measure that and but also
0:39:15obviously you have to suffer a lot of
0:39:17things like photo shoots but there's
0:39:19just one particularly kills me i wish i
0:39:20could find the photo but it was the
0:39:22spread
0:39:22on her newly remodeled house which witch
0:39:24is which of course looks like a museum
0:39:26designed by a by a gay man with a little
0:39:29too much money and but there's this one
0:39:30shot i love of her and it's her in her
0:39:33like dressing room it's not even it's
0:39:35kind of a closet but it's like in just
0:39:36an extra room like they ran out of new
0:39:38rooms to have in her bedroom that
0:39:40involve clothes and they made a great
0:39:42room there's a great room and it's got a
0:39:44ladder in it because she's got like nine
0:39:46hundred pairs of shoes and it's this
0:39:47photo of her of course is very very
0:39:50shining up the ladder
0:39:52she's standing on the ladder in 6-inch
0:39:54heels totally dressed up like she's and
0:39:58and with the dude with the giant red
0:40:00lipstick and smiling and her child is in
0:40:03that sweet barefoot child way sitting on
0:40:05the floor like playing with some
0:40:06carefully arranged blocks and it made me
0:40:08so fucking angry I almost don't even
0:40:11know what I almost did I was so angry
0:40:12because it was you know the whole like
0:40:14I'm just don't mind me walking around my
0:40:16six inch heels here on a ladder on my
0:40:17child's you know I would be just i would
0:40:20share your anger if a girl up a ladder
0:40:23wasn't like one of my special things
0:40:25oh yeah with the shoes to know
0:40:27everything that's a thing now the pic
0:40:30shoes I don't care about is what it will
0:40:32split the difference with suits or
0:40:33whatever probably gonna wrangle that
0:40:35baby they probably had they had block
0:40:36Wranglers you know when Christina
0:40:38Aguilera sees her baby once a week I
0:40:41swear to use the baby is being raised by
0:40:43very competent employees
0:40:45she's a pro she's a pro and and and
0:40:48she's but she's undoubtedly going to
0:40:50turn out just fine better than Mia
0:40:53Farrow's kids
0:40:55well no she had some complications um no
0:40:58I'm not I'm not hot for christina
0:40:59aguilera but imagining her up a ladder
0:41:01looking at looking at a wall shoes
0:41:03that's where I'll find it for you
0:41:04reminder for you i want to find I want
0:41:07to find something here talk to our
0:41:09audience for 4 30 seconds about
0:41:11something very back I'm gonna cut this
0:41:13out talk to them
0:41:14I'm well let's see well dear audience i
0:41:17know that it is hard sometimes for you
0:41:20to make it through life and so there are
0:41:27things that you could remember too
0:41:30make it easier and one of those things
0:41:33is to keep moving and get out of the way
0:41:37because these are important lessons for
0:41:42to learn we should have PSAs I mean
0:41:44obviously the whole show the ark if you
0:41:45like the I don't know over in a lot of
0:41:48ways is just it's a series of
0:41:49interlocking PSAs it's almost it's like
0:41:52existential legos hmm i took photos this
0:41:55morning
0:41:56now this is the funny thing about o
0:41:57magazine i think what I've done this
0:41:59morning want nothing I said like a
0:42:02little humility your leaves and I stay
0:42:03with my wet piles of leaves
0:42:06yeah and became demoralized just the
0:42:08word dollery uh did I use it well I
0:42:12store do I said dolorous as an adjective
0:42:14and then I have a hard to go back and
0:42:15listen but I think you might have coined
0:42:17the word dollery know I think I said the
0:42:19lower oh how do you spell that t.o.o you
0:42:24are take my color like like take
0:42:27dolorous think the US off take the oh us
0:42:29off this is our Canadian you in that
0:42:32yeah there's a you okay huh
0:42:36dollar a pretty name for a girl no
0:42:38magazines a funny thing is very
0:42:39dollar-for-dollar easy i could see you
0:42:43on that the test the test should be
0:42:44could you yell it off the porch
0:42:46you know what I mean dollery Anastasia
0:42:52you terrine like the no magazine is a
0:42:55funny thing because I can always get mad
0:42:57at the cover of oh I want to talk more
0:43:00about Oprah we don't have time for today
0:43:01I want you at the story about oh hmm
0:43:05thats that French not fix me
0:43:08I make my seating or face the this was
0:43:11on the cover i took a photo of this and
0:43:12i will probably post this this is in the
0:43:15lower left-hand corner of the latest
0:43:17issue of O Magazine and it says bonus
0:43:20colon shows soldiers colon but it's
0:43:23gotta be one of them
0:43:24I've got as i write some Collins I gotta
0:43:26stop pronouncing the bonus Cole wait
0:43:28wait ! sorry Jonas know what the thing
0:43:31is if you can pronounce your ear
0:43:33punctuation mark but you have to change
0:43:34your voice you can't just a bonus colon
0:43:36is a bonus business apply common
0:43:40no known yeah if you're going to permit
0:43:43that if you put if you're pronouncing
0:43:44your leg your punctuation marks i think
0:43:47the implementation of change positive
0:43:49change the register
0:43:50yeah the implication is that there are
0:43:51parentheses around your spoken and
0:43:54spoken word colon ok site bonus bonus
0:43:57parentheses comma parentheses
0:44:01well you can see / n hoes self-awareness
0:44:04workbook all caps
0:44:06that's the head and then so
0:44:08self-awareness work and then under that
0:44:09where they illuminate what that means it
0:44:11says you bring the pencil we bring the
0:44:14Enlightenment encouragement and snacks
0:44:16I mean that again i was self-awareness
0:44:20workbook you bring the pencil comma we
0:44:23bring the Enlightenment comma
0:44:24encouragement comma and snacks no period
0:44:27you know what it by requiring that the
0:44:29people that the and I'm gonna go out on
0:44:31a limb here and say my requiring the
0:44:32women who read this magazine to bring a
0:44:35pencil who this path to enlightenment
0:44:39already has more and has more work
0:44:43involved than ninety percent of the
0:44:45self-help books out there you don't even
0:44:47require that they bring a pencil
0:44:49that's a good point you just get you
0:44:50just gotta bring out a problem in a
0:44:51little self delusion but you're saying
0:44:53okay so you don't because the value
0:44:54proposition there as we say in business
0:44:56development because it's not what I
0:44:59haven't looked at the workbook yet I
0:45:00couldn't bring myself to write somebody
0:45:03suggested that i do the artist way the
0:45:05other day we should talk about that
0:45:07iíve thoughts on that this is gonna be
0:45:10a smaller version of the artists way the
0:45:11workbook and the in the well here's what
0:45:13here's will surprise you is sometimes
0:45:15there was one that was the angriest Oh
0:45:17cover ever for me and it was something
0:45:19like it was one of those blocks
0:45:20something something does it like unleash
0:45:22the artist within kind of things
0:45:23hmm unleashed the artist within and I
0:45:25went all God put it is i opened up and
0:45:28and it was like not someplace missing
0:45:31gold macaroni and comfortable with
0:45:33insulin and then putting it on a purple
0:45:34sweatshirt
0:45:35Merry Christmas don't yell at me hard
0:45:40remember that right there I i was
0:45:44walking down some street somewhere
0:45:45there's listen this cute little old lady
0:45:48was walking toward me with us a
0:45:50sweatshirt she clearly made yourself
0:45:51with applique and
0:45:53and and tensile and it was their
0:45:56embroidery it was like it was a real
0:45:59craft project and as I got closer I saw
0:46:01that it said don't yell at me
0:46:03that's a death cab for cutie shirt isn't
0:46:05don't yell at me no I i ended up ended
0:46:08up using it on a long really long shirts
0:46:11the the White Castle design i sent you
0:46:13so I'm actually coined that as a way to
0:46:15describe everything all the other people
0:46:16on your label well it was that was that
0:46:19was I mean that was what was it morph
0:46:21into at the time this is the genesis of
0:46:23that at the time it broke my heart
0:46:24because I was because smile boys full
0:46:28like awful how nice and then I was like
0:46:30don't yell at me
0:46:33Oh No hello picturing her home life that
0:46:36misses her response to it you know what
0:46:38I'm going to do
0:46:39I'd like to make a sweatshirt that
0:46:40doesn't take five minutes to make know
0:46:42she worked on it she worked on it for
0:46:44four we got you gotta keep thinking
0:46:46that's again can I say John Roderick's
0:46:47if you're going to make a shirt like
0:46:48that you don't make one of those you
0:46:50know anything she probably got a whole
0:46:52series right it's like potato chips are
0:46:54in the course of the animals you don't
0:46:55do that once and then walk away I'm
0:46:56thinking he's got away with what someone
0:46:59says don't rape me up the kitchen sink
0:47:00or whatever
0:47:03sorry I'm imagining I'm that's easy
0:47:11deliberated about what part of what I'm
0:47:14gonna wear that day
0:47:15no no I mean that you maybe think
0:47:19bathroom kitchen utility room
0:47:21it probably happens in the kitchen so
0:47:23which which which which potential menace
0:47:25of sync
0:47:26do I want to focus on i'm thinking there
0:47:28could be some wish I'd done a couple
0:47:31things differently you know but at after
0:47:36I fully absorb this woman in her life
0:47:38into my into my mind and and I process
0:47:42to the tragedy it was it was not very
0:47:45long after that I started interacting
0:47:47with young indie-rockers who felt who
0:47:50probably all should have been wearing
0:47:52like homemade don't yell at me t-shirts
0:47:54and I felt like a boy I need to do
0:47:58something for these people and so I made
0:47:59them i made a long winters t-shirt that
0:48:01said don't yell at me
0:48:02it was a that was in the pretend to fall
0:48:05typeface and yeah early times when it
0:48:08was it was a picture of the White Castle
0:48:10logo right that up in the top of the
0:48:12white castle instead of saying buy a bag
0:48:15of burgers don't you don't yell at me
0:48:20there are many of them out there we sold
0:48:21out pretty fast
0:48:24that's a it's a I'll kill for that I
0:48:27would have another example of an in-joke
0:48:29inside of an in-joke inside of an
0:48:32injunction that is for some reason now I
0:48:35don't understand why my band isn't more
0:48:37successful like I actually I got a card
0:48:39on that i started my online identity it
0:48:41for you on that having the reason is
0:48:43that the shins and the resemblance it's
0:48:45did not have did not encode that many
0:48:49different levels of not that funny weird
0:48:53sad in joke into their t-shirt art they
0:48:58just gave people a simple like they can
0:49:00burn on it and they let me put it out
0:49:03there and they were so much more
0:49:04reluctant to explain why you were
0:49:06listening to it wrong and how you were
0:49:09listening to it wrong all the
0:49:11conversations I've had at the merch
0:49:13table where people are like I love that
0:49:14song you might not get my treadmill in
0:49:16your connect to it wrong but you're not
0:49:19enjoying my music the right way
0:49:21counting crows the picture the ladies
0:49:24also the ads here's the thing about the
0:49:25ads now another thing is that lady and
0:49:28she had found and I want to agree with
0:49:29you about about the classified ads
0:49:30starting with probably boy's life maybe
0:49:32highlights i don't know if they had
0:49:34singles and highlights but definitely
0:49:35boy's life and you open a boy's life and
0:49:37in the back there's all kinds of things
0:49:39for military academies for example one
0:49:41of which I went to heavily advertised
0:49:43important life magazine and then and
0:49:45what you're describing sunset right
0:49:48yes sunsets got lots of like you know
0:49:50your kids died on the morning for drug
0:49:52camps and send it off to do to private
0:49:55school in Arizona and we will get them
0:49:58off the pot and I have a friend who went
0:50:01to one of these he is a he's a local
0:50:04well he's a he's a fairly famous rock
0:50:07drummer and he went to one of these get
0:50:10your kids off pot schools have been the
0:50:12fastbacks
0:50:13he has been in the fastbacks ok and you
0:50:19know he came back to Seattle a changed
0:50:23man in the sense that he learned all
0:50:25kinds of new tricks for lighting weed
0:50:28from other drugs kids but you know you
0:50:31to bring drugs kids from all over the
0:50:33region and put them all in 1 1 school
0:50:35for a year and they teach each other how
0:50:37to how to hotwire gold winning
0:50:39motorcycles and had a you know we're
0:50:42just a shadow you know there's so many
0:50:43things that I'm gonna be wrong about
0:50:45just like historically there's so many
0:50:46things i'm gonna be wrong about with my
0:50:48kid and I i want to share one that I'll
0:50:51probably wrong recognizing her toys but
0:50:53organizer toys for her it's helpful
0:50:56useful for everyone if she wants to read
0:50:57if she wants a red isosceles triangle
0:51:00magnet I'll she knows where that is
0:51:02oh he's not gonna have to sort through a
0:51:03bunch of blue blocks that should be
0:51:04somewhere else is going to join a
0:51:06motorcycle gang it strikes it strikes me
0:51:08that if you've got a kid we were having
0:51:10and I'm ready to be wrong about this and
0:51:12it'll come up and bite me but but it
0:51:14strikes me that right at the time when
0:51:15you feel most like you should really
0:51:17crack down on your dumbass kid and you
0:51:19do stuff you do stuff to remove the
0:51:22Freedom and the options and you you this
0:51:24is this compulsion either give up and
0:51:26sentimental camp or or find some way to
0:51:28otherwise infantile eyes them and and
0:51:31and it is my theory that do that's
0:51:34exactly the wrong thing to do i think
0:51:35what you do I think you send your kid to
0:51:37a third world country with a hundred
0:51:38dollars or or maybe or maybe New York
0:51:41with a hundred twenty dollars you send
0:51:42them somewhere you throw them into a
0:51:44fucking shark tank and let them find out
0:51:46a smartypants video game guy you tell me
0:51:48now what happens next
0:51:49yeah smarty pants video game right you
0:51:52know maybe it goes a little bit Midnight
0:51:53Cowboy you know the lady Mae Tootsie
0:51:55later so I things can change
0:51:57I'm not entirely prepared to throw my
0:51:59thirteen-year-old kid in the New York
0:52:01City with the daughter twenty dollars
0:52:02but here's my version of that and this
0:52:04is my plan and i hope that i lived to
0:52:06see this day which is that what if if my
0:52:09child has started to have problems
0:52:11starts to get willful
0:52:14which they would which happens to some
0:52:15of them the batarangs the kids whose
0:52:18parents saying this sunday they just
0:52:20don't get willful yeah
0:52:21some kids just are nice and respect
0:52:23their fathers all the way through but
0:52:25the ones that don't here's what I'm
0:52:27gonna do
0:52:28I've been you know been wanting to do
0:52:30this for years and even before the idea
0:52:32of having a kid picker to me but now I
0:52:34have a reason and that is i'm gonna buy
0:52:37an old jeep i'm gonna i'm gonna set a
0:52:40price limit right I'm gonna say twelve
0:52:42hundred dollars that's the most i'm
0:52:43gonna pay for a jeep about twelve
0:52:46hundred dollar jeep take the kids out of
0:52:49school put the kid in the jeep and the
0:52:52two of us drive to Tierra del Fuego and
0:52:57you know twelve hundred dollar g is not
0:52:59going to make it all the way to Tierra
0:53:01del Fuego just something you read about
0:53:02the new yorker no no the new yorker
0:53:06doesn't have the balls to think this way
0:53:07not a cheap and we're going to drive as
0:53:11far as this Jeep will take us and then
0:53:14you keep extending then you'll fight
0:53:17when she break down or get stolen then
0:53:20we're on r you know then we have to use
0:53:23our wits either to get them to keep the
0:53:26jeep running with bailing wire and and
0:53:28chewing gum wrappers or by some other
0:53:31means
0:53:31perhaps on the back of a borough we will
0:53:36continue our trek and we will god damn
0:53:39well make it to the end to the Tierra
0:53:40del Fuego and through this process the
0:53:43child will learn the value of a the
0:53:46value of a peso the child will learn how
0:53:49to speak spanish disposition and burrows
0:53:51the child the child will learn exactly
0:53:53how to handle a burrow on a mountain
0:53:56trail the child will learn to respect
0:53:58his or her father positions me because
0:54:02of my commanding I think you're way more
0:54:05likely to find a lady on a ladder than
0:54:07for that fantasy to work done
0:54:09whoa and it can I ask can I ask how the
0:54:12experience the del Fuego incident how is
0:54:14that going to change you John remark
0:54:16well will you come let us full weight we
0:54:19learn lessons i love this is one of
0:54:21these things where I learned a lesson
0:54:22about love that's exactly what happens
0:54:24when I get down there you know and then
0:54:26and I realize well probably that I fall
0:54:29in love with a beautiful Argentinean
0:54:30woman who's a like a dancer and who's
0:54:35who appears to be sort of one of the
0:54:39noble poor but then it turns out later
0:54:42that she's actually an heiress to a
0:54:46giant to a giant plantation on the
0:54:50pompous there and she's just spending
0:54:53like she's spending some time living as
0:54:56a poor woman a noble poor woman before
0:55:00she takes over the management of this
0:55:02hundred thousand acre ranch when we fall
0:55:07in love that's probably what's gonna
0:55:08happen
0:55:09my likes and like so many incredibly
0:55:11rich Argentinian women pretending to be
0:55:14poor
0:55:14she'll just get God just fucking fucking
0:55:18wetter than a hothouse windowed by you
0:55:20haven't really fucked-up kidnapper are
0:55:22she's gonna be all over that you can
0:55:24come on and I got a whole borough room
0:55:25come to directly into my large what they
0:55:27have was a lot of the update on the
0:55:28pompous what do you have you got AI got
0:55:30a ranch what how it's got a big range
0:55:32that big ranchos llamas a llama place
0:55:35there they might be breeding heritage
0:55:38llamas ok it's going to be one of those
0:55:40Reagan style ranches where you mostly
0:55:42have symbolic would know there's beef
0:55:44cattle their beef cattle and argentine
0:55:47steak place it is and she's going to say
0:55:49you know at that point in time in this
0:55:51story i'm going to be 50 years old and
0:55:53have a great beard
0:55:54I'm gonna be a big gray beard American
0:55:57fifty-year-old 20 pounds lighter couple
0:55:59of pounds lighter couple records out who
0:56:01might or might not be a former CIA agent
0:56:05who the knuckles are kind of you know
0:56:08bruised from having been working on the
0:56:10distributor of this $12 jeep and whose
0:56:14daughter by that point is a well-behaved
0:56:17spanish-speaking friendly court also we
0:56:24will have been solving mysteries the
0:56:26whole way so you know what our
0:56:29reputation will precede us that's how
0:56:31will be introduced in the first place
0:56:32because she'll come to me needing a
0:56:35mystery solved
0:56:36it'll probably down your daughter or the
0:56:38rich lady
0:56:39the rich lady will come to my daughter
0:56:41and I and say help me solve the mystery
0:56:44of who killed my father
0:56:46oh that's how that's how will realize
0:56:50she's not a noble poor woman she's
0:56:54actually an heiress but here's the
0:56:56things other dude died under mysterious
0:56:58circumstances yes but here's the thing
0:57:00and this is where it gets a little bit
0:57:01thin man I mean obviously that part
0:57:02doesn't apply but you you go out and you
0:57:04and your daughter with with your
0:57:06crime-solving burrow can go out and
0:57:07track down these details things in our
0:57:09Argentinian fake for women would never
0:57:12realize you might discover that in fact
0:57:14her father faked his death and he's
0:57:16simply he's now in our Nigerian prince
0:57:18working in a goodwill and which point
0:57:20she could collect the many millions of
0:57:22dollars that he had all around so now
0:57:25she's like double rich well what
0:57:26concerns me is that he may be one of the
0:57:28pair father maybe one of the the German
0:57:33émigré is if you will
0:57:3420 flooded into Argentina told this lady
0:57:38at me with her that everybody knows no
0:57:40sure my father was a World War two
0:57:43veteran so your father also had
0:57:44fantasies about being a former CIA agent
0:57:47let's just say grandfather it's her
0:57:48grandfather who kale right perhaps from
0:57:53a European country that was recently
0:57:56devastated in the interwar and right now
0:58:00he has a bakery we re-established loves
0:58:03ovens
0:58:04oh I think that when I think that's
0:58:07we're gonna cook a steak John Roderick
0:58:10you know stand up and you cook it on her
0:58:13open flame which you have swords you put
0:58:17her in a sword clicking on an open flame
0:58:18that's how they doing in Argentina
0:58:20networking works on so many levels I was
0:58:22skeptical at first but now it's a you
0:58:25see the logic government
0:58:26yeah i guess the rotation program for
0:58:29the for the kid
0:58:30it's a you know it's a it's a way of
0:58:32finding love for me her or realizing
0:58:35that love is real and we get to solve
0:58:37the mystery of who killed her naughty
0:58:39grandfather and we end up living in a
0:58:42giant ranch in Argentina for half the
0:58:44year that's pretty good now would you
0:58:46send the kid back at this point which he
0:58:49lived there in harmony now because she's
0:58:50so well-adjusted it depends if i see her
0:58:52looking
0:58:53any of those little argent time Gauchos
0:58:55I'm standing right back to her mother
0:58:57don't you know because girls girls get
0:59:01into that time of their life I'll uh I
0:59:03don't relish it
0:59:04now you're getting a whole new burrow
0:59:05for that the you know didn't when you
0:59:09said bakery before you before you made
0:59:11your obligatory holocaust joke
0:59:13I don't know what you mean before when
0:59:15you said bakery earlier it reminded me
0:59:17that there was a serial killer in
0:59:19Anchorage who owned a bakery right up
0:59:22the street from my dad's house and and
0:59:26when he got caught there make the reason
0:59:29i mention this is there they're making a
0:59:30movie about it now starring john cusack
0:59:33our Cusack and i keep getting emails
0:59:36from my friends in Anchorage with these
0:59:38john cusack sightings in Anchorage them
0:59:41like what is John Cusack doing in
0:59:43Anchorage always making a movie he's
0:59:45making a movie about the this the serial
0:59:48killer of that on the bakery and what's
0:59:53amazing is that might one of my good
0:59:55friends in high school his father bought
0:59:57this bakery immediately after
0:59:57this bakery immediately after
1:00:00the serial killer got caught and we used
1:00:03to hang out in this bakery all the time
1:00:05and you know and and thought of it as
1:00:07the as the serial killer bakery it was
1:00:11anyway the deed is done on site was it
1:00:13was it did he kill people are mad at the
1:00:18bakery or is that just as base of
1:00:19operations
1:00:20well no that was the he was a he was
1:00:23apparently a talented Baker his name was
1:00:24robert hansen food but he did this the
1:00:27ceiling two names no no Robert Christian
1:00:30and see ya
1:00:31they all have three names but uh but he
1:00:34did he
1:00:35the the reason they're making a movie
1:00:36about this guy is that he was also a
1:00:38bush pilot and he would kidnap these
1:00:40girls take them out into the bush set
1:00:43him free and then hunt them down rifle
1:00:47wow yeah fucked up
1:00:50what did you do on weekends yeah well
1:00:52yeah who made the bread
1:00:54well you work you know didn't he was
1:00:58gone it yeah that's the thing about the
1:01:00above being a bush pilot that people
1:01:03from the lower 48 don't realize which is
1:01:05that you can fly out into the middle of
1:01:08nowhere
1:01:09Hunter girl with a rifle and make it
1:01:11back in time to watch your shows
1:01:15I mean it's not like you don't have to
1:01:17go out for like five days write-ups you
1:01:20kidnap the let's say let's say
1:01:22hypothetically you kidnap the girl in
1:01:26the afternoon keep hearing you sing
1:01:28after all because the thing is i think
1:01:30in the mornings gonna be very busy you
1:01:31get up early
1:01:32you gotta do a lot of baking I don't
1:01:34want people for baked goods in Anchorage
1:01:35i'm guessing lots of baked goods really
1:01:38need that stuff there's lots of because
1:01:40people are gonna be picky about the
1:01:41quality so it seems like he's got a lot
1:01:42of pressure on him he's going to see
1:01:44this is the thing about Alaska no one's
1:01:46picking about quality
1:01:47ok they want quantity are happy to get
1:01:49their paying extra they pay a little bit
1:01:52extra yeah for sure she's not writing in
1:01:54Alaska Hawaii everything's more
1:01:56expensive it is it used to be a lot more
1:01:58expensive when it when they had to ship
1:02:02stuff up on the back of a borough now
1:02:06it's pretty systematized they've got it
1:02:09going on they can get you can get you
1:02:10some fresh eggs you have to pay five
1:02:13dollars and
1:02:13when I was a kid 55 bucks and aguilar
1:02:17you're lucky you haven't you really take
1:02:19your time and enjoyed that egg
1:02:20Oh God some of those five dollar eggs
1:02:22they were you know they'd already been
1:02:24they've been sitting on a truck throw
1:02:25throw a month but you guys are tough you
1:02:28like that kind of stuff
1:02:30Patera new chest sure yeah but anyway so
1:02:34so that but i think that he was able by
1:02:38by having some employees perhaps and
1:02:41also by do quick turnaround he could go
1:02:46hunt these girls out he said the
1:02:47girlfriend the forest them down and then
1:02:51make it back in time to make the donuts
1:02:53you're saying don't let my castigate all
1:02:54the Baker's but we should seriously look
1:02:56at the bush pilots I feel like if you
1:02:59are a baker and a bush pilot who
1:03:01that's two strikes against you if you
1:03:02have three names and if people call you
1:03:04buy all three names that's always that's
1:03:07always your warning sign
1:03:09yeah mm handguns are just ok up there if
1:03:12you're if you're a baker in a bush pilot
1:03:13and you're just carrying around a gun
1:03:15you know you go out with two people come
1:03:17back with one nobody the airport's
1:03:18asking questions about that nobody says
1:03:20hey shouldn't you be making bear claws
1:03:21no no if you have if you get in an
1:03:25airplane and it and it isn't also full
1:03:27of rifles that would raise suspicion
1:03:29smarty even need to be carrying rifles
1:03:32at all times and two people go up in an
1:03:35airplane one comes back that's not gonna
1:03:37raise any suspicions that that's the
1:03:39whole business of Alaska two people go
1:03:41up in a bush plane one comes back that's
1:03:43the that's that's how business is done
1:03:45so it's what its tourism oil and
1:03:48disappearing know that it's a state for
1:03:50disappearing people there are all these
1:03:52people in Alaska and I've been thinking
1:03:54about this a lot lately because because
1:03:56I on one hand i understand it on the
1:03:58other hand it as i get older it's it
1:04:01sounds crazier and crazier to me but
1:04:03they're all these people that go up in
1:04:05the fall to their little cabin they go
1:04:11up in the fall with the intention of not
1:04:13coming back out until the spring
1:04:16and this is you know this is a lot of
1:04:19people up there who's boos boos vision
1:04:22of either their vision of paradise or
1:04:25just the twists and turns of life has
1:04:29resulted in them being in a situation
1:04:31where they go up in the fall and they
1:04:33come out in the spring and they spend
1:04:36that whole winter either alone
1:04:39well mostly alone don't like there's
1:04:42they are like that is it is it a kind of
1:04:45hibernation it seems like they don't
1:04:47know they're working they're there
1:04:48they're trapping begging hunting they
1:04:52may be baking a little bit but that's
1:04:53not their main occupation they're
1:04:55trapping their their living off the land
1:04:57the winter land and and this is their
1:05:03thing
1:05:04this is their life they they they live
1:05:08in isolation in a bit far far away that
1:05:12Kelly you sometimes I sometimes it does
1:05:16but I've spent enough time like living
1:05:18alone in a cabin in the Alaskan
1:05:22wilderness to know that metaphorically
1:05:24it's it in a certain kind of madness
1:05:27that's in know I've spent a little time
1:05:29out there
1:05:30I think I think I'm starting to
1:05:31understand why one of the numerous
1:05:33reasons why your life is so complex
1:05:34minutes it's not just about wet leaves
1:05:37you know it's just it's not just about
1:05:39applique t-shirts
1:05:40it's about you have two very you have
1:05:41very into at least two warring
1:05:43influences in your life there's the
1:05:45there's the one hand that says that you
1:05:46should be a crazy guy in a shack out in
1:05:48in in the middle of winter and no one
1:05:50knows where you are possibly dropping
1:05:51ladies out of a plane and and there's
1:05:53another warning part of you that says
1:05:54you should be crazy gonna burrow
1:05:55dragging your daughter all the fuck over
1:05:57South America right and that's and I
1:05:59have to think that in your mind one
1:06:00reason if I may say even if it dried out
1:06:02today one reason you may not be out
1:06:04there on your knees literally fucking
1:06:05picking up wet leaves is that these are
1:06:07warring things and I think that puts you
1:06:08in a bathtub
1:06:09I think that puts you in the bathtub is
1:06:11how do i have the shack and the borough
1:06:13you're not wrong
1:06:14you're not wrong it's complicated i saw
1:06:15a picture on on facebook the other day a
1:06:17friend of mine taking a picture of his
1:06:19kids and laughing guy and prominently
1:06:25featured in the background of this of
1:06:28this picture of his
1:06:30daughters there's a like a like a giant
1:06:33husqvarna chainsaw that's just kind of
1:06:36that he just set down on the back of the
1:06:38couch you know like he sees like hey
1:06:42girls get on the couch I want to take a
1:06:43picture of you and put on this new
1:06:45facebook thing that I discovered oh
1:06:47we're gonna put this chainsaw
1:06:48oh I'll just set it here on the back of
1:06:50the couch so the little girls sitting on
1:06:52the couch and there's just there's a
1:06:53chainsaw that's bigger than either one
1:06:54of them on the back of the couch and I
1:06:56look at this picture with a certain
1:06:58amount of of envy like god damn it if I
1:07:04had a chance on the house people would
1:07:05call me crazy
1:07:07yeah and I mean especially if you're
1:07:10using it using it in now like a little
1:07:11miss on scene
1:07:13I mean do you think he had that in mind
1:07:14the DCO no no he's just okay with he's
1:07:17so chainsaws a gas-operated series of
1:07:20spinning blades and you just have that
1:07:21in your living room on the couch
1:07:23well it's that he came in he came in and
1:07:25the house isn't the house isn't that big
1:07:28like everything is have a halt here here
1:07:31at my my palatial compound I have a
1:07:34whole chain saw building i have a
1:07:36building where my chain saws are he had
1:07:39he's living in a cabin or no Hall you
1:07:41walk in and the chainsaw goes it's
1:07:44getting probably hanging on a nail and
1:07:47behind it all
1:07:49an old suspicious-looking rusty hook and
1:07:51he didn't he didn't put it up on the
1:07:53nail you didn't get to that because he
1:07:55was like trying to corral the girls or
1:07:56whatever new so he set it on the back of
1:07:58the couch and it just seems like thats
1:08:01you know if there was a way to combine
1:08:05that with the with the borough life the
1:08:09life that the Jeep unto burrow under
1:08:13think that incompatible from a
1:08:15philosophical standpoint but here's the
1:08:17problem i don't think they are either
1:08:18but in the middle of that is me living
1:08:21in a house in seattle and playing the
1:08:24guitar like that has to be in there too
1:08:27and it's just too much to think about
1:08:28and I need to take one of those little
1:08:30ones like that from time down can you
1:08:33get her maybe look at like a uke or
1:08:35something and get some portable portable
1:08:37guitars talk about a little guitar
1:08:39yeah but how my god see now you're into
1:08:41this whole thing I like people that
1:08:43carrier
1:08:43a little guitar like a little guitar guy
1:08:45well and then just guy with guitar like
1:08:48I i know that positions are like I'm the
1:08:50guy with the guitar way I'm like that's
1:08:52not I'm not the guy with the guitar when
1:08:55it when i put a guitar on it is it is
1:08:58like putting on johnston armor go for
1:09:01looks like it's like it's like the
1:09:02sheriff taking out his sidearm he don't
1:09:05you don't you don't you don't take that
1:09:06the wave it around you take it around to
1:09:07give somebody one between the eyes and
1:09:08that's what you do you're making like
1:09:10I'm i got the gun here i am now pow
1:09:13right now getting the local looking for
1:09:15eyes you leave the you leave the gun in
1:09:17the holster until it's absolutely needed
1:09:18and that's that's what how I am with
1:09:20with the with the guitar and so no I'm
1:09:24not when I picture myself solving crimes
1:09:26in South America with with my daughter
1:09:30and my era sergeant I Marisa who one
1:09:33thing i do not pictured myself doing is
1:09:35pulling out my guitar around the
1:09:37campfire and serenading the the Gauchos
1:09:41with my with like a version of blue
1:09:43diamonds like that's notthat doesn't
1:09:45occur to me at all
1:09:46yeah they should be working anyway
1:09:47exactly i'm not there to entertain them
1:09:49they're the fucking Gauchos get out and
1:09:51heard some cattle I'm i got other things
1:09:53to do i'm solving crimes I don't know
1:09:55there's an answer or not answered any of
1:09:56this John I mean you're going to take
1:09:58the directions you take that assume
1:09:59you'll take a bath but i but i'm super
1:10:01interested in what the the ladies of
1:10:03version when they come to your home
1:10:05wherever you end up living whether
1:10:06that's so it in a that should change the
1:10:09bush area more or with an heiress &
1:10:11Burroughs I'll be very interested to see
1:10:13what the interiors of your newly
1:10:15professionally remodeled home look like
1:10:16well I'll tell you what it you know when
1:10:20i'm looking for that book on miles van
1:10:22der Rohe thinking etiquette knees his
1:10:26name is mise I think so isn't as easy it
1:10:29smiles you see me Davis I don't know me
1:10:33what kind of name is mise I think I
1:10:35think he's a hollandaise
1:10:36Oh am I getting the van der Rohe part
1:10:38right thing is it doesn't matter Jon it
1:10:40doesn't matter all you got to have is a
1:10:41bunch of those books nobody's even this
1:10:43does those books can be made out of
1:10:44styrofoam nobody cares rates should
1:10:47check that
1:10:49yeah would you look that up means yeah
1:10:53well no I mean that there's no book in
1:10:55my house that that I mean they're both
1:10:56in my house that I haven't been read but
1:10:58there are no books that are just here
1:11:00for display purposes
1:11:02yeah they're all they're all on the list
1:11:03of books to be read some of these books
1:11:06this is this depressing thing some books
1:11:08in my house i will never read you really
1:11:11believe that it seems to seems to me
1:11:12like you you have you have a such a such
1:11:15a breadth of aspirations obviously
1:11:16starting with helping people but I mean
1:11:18if you're if you're going to make a cut
1:11:20into any of these projects maybe
1:11:22starting with the leaves
1:11:23I mean aren't you could have to at some
1:11:24point say it's just gonna be okay for me
1:11:25to not to not have this short man suit
1:11:28short arm and suit or maybe not read
1:11:30this particular you know multi-part
1:11:33series on the fall of the Roman Empire
1:11:34I'm don't you let some things go
1:11:36sometimes have to go over some girl in
1:11:38Belgium one time you mean here we go
1:11:41like five different books by alain de
1:11:43boat and photo call brother and have
1:11:48gotten right back on the fucking plane
1:11:49for every part of that and she was like
1:11:51are you love this guy is so brilliant
1:11:54and you're smart and I think it's
1:11:57beautiful how you will take all this
1:11:59book sir I learned about time was a bit
1:12:03as good and i took the books and I took
1:12:07the books and I think I even may have
1:12:08promised to give them back to her when i
1:12:10was done and I read a couple of them i
1:12:14don't know they're on your shelf right
1:12:15now i'm looking at i'm looking at them
1:12:17on myself and i'm like there are at
1:12:19least two or three of these books that
1:12:22I'm just never gonna read I'm not gonna
1:12:24they're never gonna come a time when i'm
1:12:26gonna say i haven't read enough
1:12:28Elaine the boat on books wasn't gonna
1:12:30get these three young gal oh boy I can't
1:12:32wait to keep going you know I think I
1:12:35got the gist I got the gist and it was
1:12:37not a negative experience that you say
1:12:39well I mean you know you know you could
1:12:42open up just gonna crack the cover a
1:12:43little bit i think that by a little bit
1:12:45of you know the thing is now some a
1:12:47couple of people that I that I follow on
1:12:49Twitter who are friends from the from
1:12:51the old days they apparently follow his
1:12:54twitter account and periodically retweet
1:12:57some little like aphorism of of healthy
1:13:03mental thinking or something I don't
1:13:05know what some spot philosophy they
1:13:08retweet it and everything you've got
1:13:10digested a lot of this material and then
1:13:13that returned it they call it a Belgian
1:13:14promise I I feel like but a Belgian
1:13:17promises like a Belgian mullet Belgian
1:13:19promise is when you take books that you
1:13:21never wanted to read in the first place
1:13:22take them back to their home and then
1:13:23neither read nor return them take them
1:13:25back to your home country flip through
1:13:27them read a couple of them on the plane
1:13:30and then make fun of the person you know
1:13:33she's fine or whatever she says she
1:13:35started working for the she started
1:13:37working for the international court and
1:13:40now she I think she lives in Nigeria as
1:13:43a Belgian diplomat and then of a
1:13:46problematic relationship the Felton's
1:13:48with Africa I'm starting to really
1:13:51wonder how much is this is just
1:13:52completely fucking made up
1:13:54I don't know yeah there's John you have
1:13:57brought in more Belgians and nigerians
1:14:00that are and Argentineans and Alaskans
1:14:03than any 500 people I've ever met
1:14:05there's no way you know anything about
1:14:07to nigerians that's not a bad thing you
1:14:10don't think check the weather is going
1:14:12to dry up today you might be able to get
1:14:14there get your league and so it's
1:14:15raining
1:14:16I'm when the rest of this day is going
1:14:18to be spending the bathroom if I have
1:14:19anything to say about it is all too
1:14:21traumatic just thinking about all this
1:14:23stuff
1:14:23yeah but i dunno a couple of people that
1:14:27work at work for the international
1:14:29border
1:14:32I know a couple of people who do one guy
1:14:35from hungry
1:14:37[Music]