Roderick on the Line

Ep. 04: "Sears Would Call Me Husky"


00:00:00   hi John how are you hi Marilyn I well uh [TS]

00:00:10   I'm well I'm well I'm all you something [TS]

00:00:14   better [TS]

00:00:14   I mean I've got less bad but i'm not [TS]

00:00:17   completely well i'm i'm ninety percent [TS]

00:00:20   better but that ten percent there's a [TS]

00:00:24   lot of wiggle room in that ten percent [TS]

00:00:26   like losing me his last 20 pounds so [TS]

00:00:30   that again never heard that when people [TS]

00:00:31   say they're trying to lose weight like [TS]

00:00:32   last five pounds they say its last I [TS]

00:00:35   don't know that might be one of those [TS]

00:00:36   dumb things like you always find things [TS]

00:00:38   last place you look [TS]

00:00:39   I'm sure makes sense but they say you [TS]

00:00:40   can lose a bunch of weight last five [TS]

00:00:42   pounds of hearts for you [TS]

00:00:43   that's the last mile was like that the [TS]

00:00:45   last ten percent of sickness I could [TS]

00:00:48   still turn it around and get pneumonia [TS]

00:00:52   I could still turn this this almost [TS]

00:00:55   better pneus into total catastrophic [TS]

00:01:00   sickness so i have to be very careful at [TS]

00:01:03   this point that I don't go do what my [TS]

00:01:05   instinct tells me which is to run [TS]

00:01:08   bareheaded in the rain in my underwear [TS]

00:01:12   because i will get i will get pneumonia [TS]

00:01:15   if i do that and that's what my instinct [TS]

00:01:17   is telling me who is that it is an [TS]

00:01:20   instinct you have a lot to that running [TS]

00:01:21   around without clothes and no hat it is [TS]

00:01:24   and that's why I don't that's why when [TS]

00:01:27   people say follow your gut [TS]

00:01:29   I say shut up my gut is telling me to do [TS]

00:01:33   incredibly stupid things my gut always [TS]

00:01:36   told me to fall in love with lesbians my [TS]

00:01:39   god tells me to go out in the rain [TS]

00:01:41   without a hat [TS]

00:01:42   my gut tells me to eat all the pasta [TS]

00:01:45   literally it's my gut that tells me to [TS]

00:01:48   do that [TS]

00:01:49   thank you I can't trust myself is what [TS]

00:01:51   I'm saying I think you're guest probably [TS]

00:01:54   seen too many things on cinemax where [TS]

00:01:56   they make out lesbians and you think [TS]

00:01:58   that is very attractive to me but then [TS]

00:02:01   you realize that the person is not [TS]

00:02:04   featured in the Cinemax movie [TS]

00:02:05   consistently is you [TS]

00:02:07   well it's your cinemax references and [TS]

00:02:10   far off but in fact the lesbians i have [TS]

00:02:13   traditionally fall in love with are the [TS]

00:02:15   ones with short black hair and the [TS]

00:02:17   faintest whisper of a mustache [TS]

00:02:20   I don't I I'm not interested in in like [TS]

00:02:25   12 year old boy a John Waters well [TS]

00:02:27   somewhere in between a twelve-year-old [TS]

00:02:30   boy and John Waters if John Waters was [TS]

00:02:33   was a lot shorter and had kind of [TS]

00:02:37   not-quite boobs but but lumps lady lumps [TS]

00:02:42   I spent my entire spent my entire [TS]

00:02:44   twenties chasing after girls that look [TS]

00:02:48   like Jane Wiedlin from the go-go's and [TS]

00:02:52   eighty-five percent of them were either [TS]

00:02:54   gay or we're going through their gay [TS]

00:02:57   phase at precisely the time that that [TS]

00:03:02   that we were friends and they wanted to [TS]

00:03:05   talk about their romantic problems with [TS]

00:03:07   me [TS]

00:03:07   that's why I i think it's a big part of [TS]

00:03:11   why I was an alcoholic the small [TS]

00:03:14   breasted lesbians [TS]

00:03:17   yeah the frustration caused by [TS]

00:03:18   consistently falling in love with boyish [TS]

00:03:21   girls they always they would always get [TS]

00:03:24   me what you know I'm not to name names [TS]

00:03:28   but that was named joanna pony there's [TS]

00:03:30   this woman that was in spring the [TS]

00:03:33   minders she was like an engineer on some [TS]

00:03:35   Elliot's you're like a record seen yeah [TS]

00:03:37   I know I know what you know her well in [TS]

00:03:40   northwestern way sure like she's made [TS]

00:03:44   you drink nod ya not smirk that she [TS]

00:03:48   became Jim Whelan was obviously in the [TS]

00:03:50   in the substrata of the the short-haired [TS]

00:03:53   lesbian cosmology she was quite a [TS]

00:03:55   constellation but when I saw her playing [TS]

00:03:58   with the minders I i had to go it was [TS]

00:04:01   just she's ridiculously skinny and [TS]

00:04:04   long-armed mhm you know and she [TS]

00:04:07   engineered elliott smith record so you [TS]

00:04:09   know but man she can play that base and [TS]

00:04:11   she's very very tall see they all play [TS]

00:04:14   the base to the base and the tattoos [TS]

00:04:16   right that is it all goes together [TS]

00:04:18   the the base the tattoos the short hair [TS]

00:04:20   often pierced nipples follow along with [TS]

00:04:23   that if you get to that point piercing [TS]

00:04:26   nipples no never did but like on her how [TS]

00:04:28   she tells it just educated gas pumps in [TS]

00:04:30   the hipster t like how can you tell well [TS]

00:04:32   I you know I am NOT new right I've been [TS]

00:04:36   I've lived I've seen what's under the [TS]

00:04:39   t-shirts so it went so far as she said [TS]

00:04:42   I'm going to step off the reservation [TS]

00:04:43   Kemosabe [TS]

00:04:44   and so you talking about now wow just [TS]

00:04:46   just our girl just the girls the girls [TS]

00:04:49   the yeah you know tight the thing but it [TS]

00:04:51   seems your comment Pixies because [TS]

00:04:53   they're like Angry Pixies right Pixies [TS]

00:04:54   yeah right Pixies pic Pixies but spelt [TS]

00:04:58   with a bunch of ours in the middle [TS]

00:04:59   picture sarees that's good or have a [TS]

00:05:02   Pixies with many x's Pixar's six months [TS]

00:05:05   just calling Pixar's pretty good that's [TS]

00:05:07   what they are [TS]

00:05:07   um yeah you know because they're because [TS]

00:05:10   of some of them aren't gay that's the [TS]

00:05:11   frustrating thing the ones that don't [TS]

00:05:13   just only gay phase that coincides with [TS]

00:05:17   you trying to get with them i think i [TS]

00:05:20   think a lot of girls just had a gay [TS]

00:05:22   phase for the 20 minutes that I was [TS]

00:05:24   trying to pick up with them pick up on [TS]

00:05:25   them [TS]

00:05:26   I mean for I think for a lot of them [TS]

00:05:28   it's it's like being in the whole wheat [TS]

00:05:30   pasta or throwing muses it's something [TS]

00:05:32   you put yourself into completely for a [TS]

00:05:33   couple weeks but like I gotta live with [TS]

00:05:35   that now I don't got nothing against [TS]

00:05:37   throwing muses but no sense memories [TS]

00:05:39   well you know I'm just saying like you [TS]

00:05:41   know my record was not the one getting [TS]

00:05:42   dropped on the needle if you know what I [TS]

00:05:43   mean yeah and allison i spent so much of [TS]

00:05:48   my life being in that state sometimes [TS]

00:05:50   because of pixies often because of a [TS]

00:05:53   kind of like a like a vaguely athletic [TS]

00:05:55   girl with a good family [TS]

00:05:56   those are bad too those are very good [TS]

00:05:58   chance you have a chance [TS]

00:06:01   there there there dad makes them laugh [TS]

00:06:02   you have a chance i know that's the [TS]

00:06:04   worst when a girl has a really great [TS]

00:06:06   relationship with her father [TS]

00:06:07   fuck that and he also is like a rich [TS]

00:06:10   lawyer I don't know what I call those [TS]

00:06:13   the cockblock docs anytime you get an MD [TS]

00:06:16   that's funnier than you [TS]

00:06:17   Oh Hawking his daughter right right [TS]

00:06:20   about the mexican dr. well see that's [TS]

00:06:23   why that's why i was i always had [TS]

00:06:25   tremendous success with girls that have [TS]

00:06:27   very conflicted feelings about their [TS]

00:06:28   father [TS]

00:06:29   that though that's like that's like [TS]

00:06:31   getting pre-qualified for a loan for [TS]

00:06:33   coming for me I was fine i was going [TS]

00:06:35   through the wall and stuff i was trying [TS]

00:06:36   to always figure that out [TS]

00:06:38   birth control pills check [TS]

00:06:39   antidepressants boo ya no se the house [TS]

00:06:42   tape we're good [TS]

00:06:43   I waited till he went to the bathroom [TS]

00:06:44   and I tried to read their journal before [TS]

00:06:46   they were before they that I could hear [TS]

00:06:48   them washing their hands i put their [TS]

00:06:50   journal back I was like smelling ladies [TS]

00:06:51   purses and again i really have it with a [TS]

00:06:53   while ago like a personnel another purse [TS]

00:06:55   never smelled a purse and a person's [TS]

00:06:58   that it smells like a like a cow's udder [TS]

00:07:01   and that's bad how [TS]

00:07:04   haha i know i I don't want to smell the [TS]

00:07:08   girl's purse that's like that's like [TS]

00:07:09   that's like smelling her insider pockets [TS]

00:07:12   while her pants are still on kind of [TS]

00:07:14   pants mom jeans it's like smelly inside [TS]

00:07:17   of a pair of mom jeans ok like bending [TS]

00:07:20   down and smell it take a big with of the [TS]

00:07:23   pockets of some mom jeans not something [TS]

00:07:26   I want to do i'm guessing there's [TS]

00:07:28   probably some squished up tissues some [TS]

00:07:31   from their children's not many from her [TS]

00:07:33   in tears i'm only produce giant keys you [TS]

00:07:36   have our minivans now write a huge ring [TS]

00:07:39   of keys the keys have to be that big [TS]

00:07:41   really irks me I've been there though [TS]

00:07:44   I've been there I've been there so many [TS]

00:07:45   times and I feel like there's so many [TS]

00:07:46   times where I was I the just friends we [TS]

00:07:49   can talk to about the problems with [TS]

00:07:52   people talking about the nineties now [TS]

00:07:53   though [TS]

00:07:54   yeah and I think times have changed I [TS]

00:07:56   mean times have definitely changed that [TS]

00:07:58   they called hookups now the hookups you [TS]

00:07:59   can get me yeah they sent making [TS]

00:08:01   pictures to each other on their phones [TS]

00:08:02   in the nineties it was just a it was a I [TS]

00:08:07   don't know it was a it was a terrible [TS]

00:08:08   time it was a terrible time to be a [TS]

00:08:11   young person it looks good [TS]

00:08:14   didn't even look good Who am I kidding [TS]

00:08:16   now the nineties were just we should [TS]

00:08:17   just let's just never speak of them [TS]

00:08:19   again [TS]

00:08:20   I knew it I knew I know how useless I [TS]

00:08:21   was it like when we graduated from [TS]

00:08:24   microphone college in 1990 and it was it [TS]

00:08:29   was like that all people have been [TS]

00:08:30   classes before it's done all these [TS]

00:08:32   amazing things they've done things on [TS]

00:08:33   campus they didn't think nationally [TS]

00:08:35   internationally the fulbright scholars [TS]

00:08:36   and then there's a four years that i was [TS]

00:08:38   there i think i had a big effect on this [TS]

00:08:39   and then like the year after i left [TS]

00:08:41   suddenly everybody was doing things to [TS]

00:08:43   help you [TS]

00:08:43   fireman and getting good people good [TS]

00:08:44   people and getting good grants they're [TS]

00:08:46   way smarter than us and I think that was [TS]

00:08:48   the problem [TS]

00:08:48   I i blame us I think we're a big part of [TS]

00:08:50   the problem you know and I i blame all [TS]

00:08:52   your buddies up there you you gave you [TS]

00:08:53   your euro your community gave the world [TS]

00:08:55   the wrong idea about everything terrible [TS]

00:08:57   we were terrible and when we were [TS]

00:08:59   anywhere we were terrible people to have [TS]

00:09:01   to say really like the worst of like [TS]

00:09:03   what like la metes slacker air austin [TS]

00:09:06   there wasn't anything la about it was it [TS]

00:09:09   was a it was just a take any small town [TS]

00:09:13   and take the 10 losers that are hanging [TS]

00:09:15   out under a bridge Smith smoking clove [TS]

00:09:17   cigarettes and and that and then play [TS]

00:09:21   them some dinosaur jr records and that [TS]

00:09:23   they're there you have it there that the [TS]

00:09:25   Seattle seen in 1992 the thing that [TS]

00:09:28   frustrates me is that my holy my whole [TS]

00:09:31   youth the fashion was to wear really [TS]

00:09:34   baggy on tailored ripped dirty clothes [TS]

00:09:41   and I remember walking across the [TS]

00:09:43   university of washington delivered to us [TS]

00:09:45   literally that's using choosing over [TS]

00:09:47   other options to acts like a good the [TS]

00:09:50   girls it when I was 24 a girl could not [TS]

00:09:53   be more fashionable than if she took a [TS]

00:09:56   sleeping bag cut armholes in it and roll [TS]

00:10:00   in some manure you know that was the [TS]

00:10:02   that was it man [TS]

00:10:04   oh my god she's so like an organic [TS]

00:10:07   ground snuggie huh [TS]

00:10:09   but somewhere around 2,000 i was walking [TS]

00:10:12   across the university of washington [TS]

00:10:13   campus and i looked around and i [TS]

00:10:14   realized everybody was wearing clothes [TS]

00:10:18   that fit i was it that was it [TS]

00:10:20   furious was like why are people wearing [TS]

00:10:24   clothes that fit now I i would have [TS]

00:10:26   liked this I would have liked to have [TS]

00:10:28   seen these all these people's bodies [TS]

00:10:31   it was nice clothes when I was a young [TS]

00:10:34   man he had it yet and have x-ray vision [TS]

00:10:37   to know you know everybody i remember [TS]

00:10:40   going to the thrift store and and i'm [TS]

00:10:43   looking through the extra large section [TS]

00:10:46   because I'm an extra-large person and I [TS]

00:10:48   look around everybody standing around me [TS]

00:10:50   is 5 foot 6 and 130 pounds and I'm like [TS]

00:10:53   you people get out of here this [TS]

00:10:56   is the extra large section it is it [TS]

00:10:58   should be off-limits 60 on a handicapped [TS]

00:11:00   parking space [TS]

00:11:01   it's exactly like that there are not [TS]

00:11:03   that many extra large sure I need this [TS]

00:11:05   and I need it and you are a touchy get a [TS]

00:11:08   hang tag he should get a large man Hank [TS]

00:11:10   tech you you see the section over there [TS]

00:11:13   where it says mediums you go over there [TS]

00:11:15   there are more clothes for you anyway [TS]

00:11:17   but you know know there is a smirk and [TS]

00:11:20   save me I thought a little you served [TS]

00:11:24   because I i slid I was taking a [TS]

00:11:26   different angle I i slid so easily into [TS]

00:11:29   what became called grunge because that's [TS]

00:11:31   how I dressed and i know you went [TS]

00:11:33   through this as well I mean I I dress [TS]

00:11:35   like Paul Westerberg before I knew what [TS]

00:11:37   Paul Westerberg was just how you dress [TS]

00:11:39   that you know i-i've been just like that [TS]

00:11:41   since the dukes of hazzard here's what's [TS]

00:11:43   amazing about you when I look at [TS]

00:11:44   pictures of you from that era you had an [TS]

00:11:48   ironic mustache 20 years before the [TS]

00:11:52   first acceptable ironic mustache [TS]

00:11:55   I think we're inviting more of a [TS]

00:11:56   satirical decide whatever it was it was [TS]

00:12:00   it was hilarious [TS]

00:12:01   it looked great on you this blonde [TS]

00:12:03   monster vomits but the first time I [TS]

00:12:05   thought I was like I was he is that a [TS]

00:12:08   serious must actually it was borderline [TS]

00:12:10   like i live in florida and i have a [TS]

00:12:13   mustache [TS]

00:12:14   it was what I could grow you know that's [TS]

00:12:16   the problem Q this is not a problem for [TS]

00:12:18   very large man like you is like you just [TS]

00:12:20   you fall asleep you wake up in the [TS]

00:12:21   morning you're fucking rip van winkle [TS]

00:12:22   with the giant beard [TS]

00:12:23   i mean i-i it took a I was one of those [TS]

00:12:26   people that had to and we think we've [TS]

00:12:28   talked about this before this is the [TS]

00:12:29   whole problem with the fucking cotys the [TS]

00:12:31   goatee is not a decision [TS]

00:12:33   it's like what's left after shave off [TS]

00:12:34   the part that wasn't a beard right if [TS]

00:12:36   they grow big ass beer they would the [TS]

00:12:38   same with me and that little nonsense i [TS]

00:12:39   had to sit there like a fucking [TS]

00:12:41   comb-over waiting for that thing to grow [TS]

00:12:42   and kind of soothing it down like you're [TS]

00:12:44   pinching the low for em [TS]

00:12:46   exactly exactly hope the mustache group [TS]

00:12:49   III was I don't know the ironic [TS]

00:12:52   mustaches gonna find one of these [TS]

00:12:54   pictures just one particular webinar i'm [TS]

00:12:56   wearing REM shirt and which I know you [TS]

00:13:00   enjoy that are using that funny that [TS]

00:13:01   right [TS]

00:13:02   we talked about REM almost and then now [TS]

00:13:05   are you broke up people that we almost [TS]

00:13:08   talked about argument that they broke up [TS]

00:13:09   it huh [TS]

00:13:11   I i think we can take credit for I think [TS]

00:13:13   so I mean I don't think we have a giant [TS]

00:13:15   amount of like you know market force [TS]

00:13:17   going on here but we did we did mention [TS]

00:13:20   that we're going to talk about and then [TS]

00:13:21   it happened [TS]

00:13:22   yeah I feel I I feel like whatever I [TS]

00:13:25   could say about REM has been said so [TS]

00:13:28   eloquently you said that in your to it [TS]

00:13:30   was a great to you had that was I'm [TS]

00:13:31   sorry I'm cutting off but you had a [TS]

00:13:32   great talk about that where you just [TS]

00:13:34   said you know I was very very warm see [TS]

00:13:36   what you said oh I don't remember my [TS]

00:13:38   tweets 30 seconds after i said that he [TS]

00:13:41   believed that but but whatever the [TS]

00:13:44   sentiment was that you know the world [TS]

00:13:48   the world does not need to hear one more [TS]

00:13:50   old fuddy-duddy talking about how are [TS]

00:13:55   you I'm affected them right but here I [TS]

00:13:58   am tweeting about how are you I'm [TS]

00:14:01   affected me as a young man I i agree [TS]

00:14:05   with you in the sense that first of all [TS]

00:14:07   I'm just sick to death of all this [TS]

00:14:08   fucking rip so-and-so [TS]

00:14:11   oh my god senor wences died you know [TS]

00:14:13   what you want and wikipedia that so you [TS]

00:14:15   get on some kind of little fucking gravy [TS]

00:14:16   train on Twitter like you know I want to [TS]

00:14:19   do anything which is I'm gonna go find [TS]

00:14:20   people who are almost dead that you [TS]

00:14:22   should learn to appreciate and so you [TS]

00:14:24   can like pretty more in them by like [TS]

00:14:26   actually learning what they did before [TS]

00:14:27   the day you heard something on google [TS]

00:14:29   news i hate that I hate that I think [TS]

00:14:31   it's kind of what happens with ari I [TS]

00:14:32   mean not like me for anything Kaplan who [TS]

00:14:34   does that has done the murmurs site for [TS]

00:14:36   something like 14 years or something [TS]

00:14:38   like he's pals with them in like he had [TS]

00:14:40   a legitimate reason to like changes [TS]

00:14:41   twitter icon and stuff like that i mean [TS]

00:14:42   you know he's pretty good passes hammond [TS]

00:14:45   and they meant the world to him and and [TS]

00:14:48   now they're gone and did you see that [TS]

00:14:50   picture of Todd Barry Barry posted a [TS]

00:14:53   picture of himself [TS]

00:14:55   where he had red hair first of all which [TS]

00:14:58   was amazing to see but as a young man [TS]

00:15:01   standing there with you know with the [TS]

00:15:05   peter buck and mike mills and it's [TS]

00:15:09   amazing because you recognize Todd right [TS]

00:15:13   but you but you know that he's a he's a [TS]

00:15:14   much younger person and then but Peter [TS]

00:15:19   and mike its they're absolutely [TS]

00:15:21   iconographic look it is mike mills and [TS]

00:15:27   peter buck in 1984 like you recognize [TS]

00:15:29   them you know the clothes there were you [TS]

00:15:31   know him their hair it is like it's like [TS]

00:15:35   a it's like a picture off the back of [TS]

00:15:37   their record except somehow like a [TS]

00:15:40   teenage Todd berries in the picture it [TS]

00:15:42   was it was a it's a great photograph and [TS]

00:15:44   and it increased my increase my respect [TS]

00:15:48   for Todd Barry immeasurably morning is [TS]

00:15:53   your photo on the robot that you had a [TS]

00:15:55   bloop hit the robot what we'll see now [TS]

00:15:59   what I didn't realize about this podcast [TS]

00:16:01   was that you were sending me things in [TS]

00:16:04   real time that I could have gone and [TS]

00:16:06   looked at and increased my but we were [TS]

00:16:10   having a multimedia experience where you [TS]

00:16:12   were sending me things through skype and [TS]

00:16:13   I kept hearing things good grip [TS]

00:16:15   mhm and I would look at my computer and [TS]

00:16:17   configure your heart monitor i was like [TS]

00:16:20   what are you doing what are you trying [TS]

00:16:21   to tell me are you beeping at me for [TS]

00:16:23   some reason and then later on I would [TS]

00:16:26   close all the windows out and then I [TS]

00:16:27   would see all this is a metadata that [TS]

00:16:30   you were sending me about the [TS]

00:16:32   conversation we were having in real time [TS]

00:16:35   and I was like I'm not utilizing I'm not [TS]

00:16:39   utilizing the computer and i'm not using [TS]

00:16:40   utilizing my brain the way Merlin is [TS]

00:16:42   Right looking at a picture of you in [TS]

00:16:45   1987 in what I can only describe as let [TS]

00:16:49   me let me just give it give it to your [TS]

00:16:50   top to bottom mhm mullet that's not a [TS]

00:16:53   molecule must it's a bullet has its much [TS]

00:16:57   fuller on the sides in a mullet John [TS]

00:16:59   mustache [TS]

00:17:00   I would call it more like a like a [TS]

00:17:03   filter helmet is what here's what the [TS]

00:17:06   description of a mullet is [TS]

00:17:07   does the hair is the hair in the front [TS]

00:17:10   above the ear and I think we can say yes [TS]

00:17:15   uh I see the ear is the hair in the back [TS]

00:17:18   touching the shirt check answer yes [TS]

00:17:21   Aaron front above the ear hair back [TS]

00:17:24   touching the shirt Mullins sticking up [TS]

00:17:26   on top [TS]

00:17:27   ah well see that's the Merlin look right [TS]

00:17:29   you've got the porcupine I can't control [TS]

00:17:31   that John Cena making fun of my greater [TS]

00:17:34   you cut the mustache which is great [TS]

00:17:36   you've got the Merlin shit-eating grin [TS]

00:17:38   but then the two things that that really [TS]

00:17:40   put this in 1987 because there's nothing [TS]

00:17:42   in the background to indicate this is [TS]

00:17:44   1987 try this could be taken yesterday [TS]

00:17:47   thinking wang chung if you look very [TS]

00:17:49   carefully at the two things that [TS]

00:17:51   indicate this is 97 one long sleeve [TS]

00:17:55   t-shirt which is long sleeve t-shirt [TS]

00:17:59   that has some kind of like sleep concert [TS]

00:18:01   shirt i'm guessing that that said life's [TS]

00:18:03   rich pageant tomorrow [TS]

00:18:05   wow it doesn't really hmm I was going to [TS]

00:18:08   say it was like an opt shirt like a [TS]

00:18:10   doctor Zog sex wax is a lightning [TS]

00:18:14   middleman and then ok with other faggots [TS]

00:18:18   the thing that the thing that knocks it [TS]

00:18:20   out of the park is the is the genes that [TS]

00:18:23   have been bleached to up a powder-blue a [TS]

00:18:28   powder blue that is lighter than the [TS]

00:18:29   powder blue that ever appeared on the [TS]

00:18:31   lightest powder-blue monte carlo these [TS]

00:18:35   jeans are the color of montana Skye [TS]

00:18:39   they're completely uniformly almost [TS]

00:18:42   white but they started off life as blue [TS]

00:18:45   jeans for once you got it right i think [TS]

00:18:48   those were bought pre faded probably [TS]

00:18:51   when I was in high school a couple years [TS]

00:18:54   earlier is actually my first years [TS]

00:18:55   mostly my first year and I am I think I [TS]

00:18:58   did do something maybe I got some stuff [TS]

00:19:00   at the county seat to max make them [TS]

00:19:02   extra light when you wash them [TS]

00:19:04   yeah kinda but one thing I know your [TS]

00:19:06   eyes are not good something you might be [TS]

00:19:07   missing if you're looking very carefully [TS]

00:19:09   i'm wearing a friendship bracelet i had [TS]

00:19:11   woven yeah I wouldn't have seen them [TS]

00:19:14   yeah there it is i see the little tail [TS]

00:19:16   of it sticking out [TS]

00:19:17   that's nice but yeah your women you know [TS]

00:19:22   that sorry I made a bunch of them [TS]

00:19:24   sure but a friendship bracelet is [TS]

00:19:26   something that someone leaves and then [TS]

00:19:28   gives to you I didn't find that out [TS]

00:19:29   until I like I moved away so you made [TS]

00:19:32   them for yourself [TS]

00:19:33   yeah I also cooked myself dinner a lot [TS]

00:19:35   yeah well it seems very important at [TS]

00:19:37   that age to be a friend here [TS]

00:19:39   happy birthday no way now but there's [TS]

00:19:43   actually if you go there and somewhere [TS]

00:19:44   over there in the elca tagged over there [TS]

00:19:47   that says Merlin with tragic facial hair [TS]

00:19:50   as a tag on flickr and I don't think [TS]

00:19:53   that's tragic I've been good it's you [TS]

00:19:55   know it's a little bit bare old flim [TS]

00:19:57   don't want this too much for sending you [TS]

00:19:59   seen some of these but i just want to [TS]

00:20:00   refresh your memory on this one this one [TS]

00:20:02   pretty proud of myself this one and Eric [TS]

00:20:03   Bostrom how about I drama of giving you [TS]

00:20:06   guys yeah yeah [TS]

00:20:08   here I go I wish that the the audience [TS]

00:20:10   at home but i'm putting shot somebody [TS]

00:20:13   lysine right you can listen to this and [TS]

00:20:15   be clicking through oh my goodness [TS]

00:20:18   yeah Oh tonight YMCA in New York [TS]

00:20:21   holy moly yeah well again the genes have [TS]

00:20:26   the genes they simply look like she did [TS]

00:20:29   you want to a bleep storm 2832 the meat [TS]

00:20:33   puppets t-shirt to create any purpose [TS]

00:20:35   t-shirt if you've got some it's kind of [TS]

00:20:38   almost kurt cobain any facial hair here [TS]

00:20:42   well again no that's the same mustaches [TS]

00:20:44   two years later and i think that's the [TS]

00:20:46   same mustache you can see that for our [TS]

00:20:48   listeners who aren't looking at home [TS]

00:20:50   it's kind of like if you ever did the [TS]

00:20:51   project we got the avocado you stick the [TS]

00:20:53   toothpicks in and drop in the water and [TS]

00:20:55   then your mom has to remind you that you [TS]

00:20:56   have to put the other way for the seed [TS]

00:20:58   to work and flip it over [TS]

00:20:59   I think that's what happened here I [TS]

00:21:00   think my avocado was never did that [TS]

00:21:02   well I always put the avocado and nobody [TS]

00:21:04   ever told me to flip i think there's a [TS]

00:21:05   wrong way I think we'll see that [TS]

00:21:07   explains everything [TS]

00:21:08   I never was able to get those to grow [TS]

00:21:10   had a meat puppet shirt I had no you [TS]

00:21:13   ready for this you know this is this is [TS]

00:21:14   how bad I was oh I don't think I've ever [TS]

00:21:16   admitted this should admit this military [TS]

00:21:18   my god i don't have heard like to husker [TS]

00:21:23   du songs but I saw people wearing who [TS]

00:21:26   screwed shirt so I bought one [TS]

00:21:28   I had a metal circle sure before i even [TS]

00:21:30   had the cassette and I loved it [TS]

00:21:31   young man well I i really i liked REM so [TS]

00:21:34   much that it was weird [TS]

00:21:36   the first well camp chronic town like [TS]

00:21:39   the first four RM records [TS]

00:21:41   I don't come back to this because i [TS]

00:21:43   think our aim should be four bands we [TS]

00:21:45   should come back to this bladder no no I [TS]

00:21:48   had a I had my chest t-shirts I was a [TS]

00:21:50   total poser John I was a terrible post [TS]

00:21:52   had a circle jerk shirt I was a mess [TS]

00:21:54   yeah complete poser I understand that [TS]

00:21:56   you want to be with you in seattle [TS]

00:21:57   european street seattle this point right [TS]

00:22:00   almost i was still kinda i'm still [TS]

00:22:04   bopping around 28 do in Alaska like [TS]

00:22:07   pictures of like fucking clues and pipe [TS]

00:22:09   went on in Alaska is out this was that [TS]

00:22:12   that was the area that I was sort of [TS]

00:22:13   hitchhiking around America looking for [TS]

00:22:15   looking for my lost country just like [TS]

00:22:19   that averaged over troubled water saw a [TS]

00:22:22   little bit its yeah it was i I was [TS]

00:22:24   influenced by the pretenders to go find [TS]

00:22:28   some interesting that was I to find a [TS]

00:22:30   river that was on fire [TS]

00:22:31   yeah and I went and looked around and it [TS]

00:22:34   had it was it had been gone a long time [TS]

00:22:36   and then to if you died from heroin [TS]

00:22:38   there were just a few there just a few [TS]

00:22:40   drags left hanging on always going to [TS]

00:22:43   look for America spend a couple of years [TS]

00:22:45   looking good for you think out there [TS]

00:22:48   what you discover [TS]

00:22:49   yeah yeah Stuckey's pretty good [TS]

00:22:52   Stuckey's pecan logs know that you know [TS]

00:22:55   that was during the era that if you were [TS]

00:22:56   driving a foreign car in certain parts [TS]

00:22:59   of America that people would try and run [TS]

00:23:00   you off the road [TS]

00:23:01   oh yeah i mean they're the that was that [TS]

00:23:04   there were some rust belt experiences [TS]

00:23:06   that I don't think anyone would believe [TS]

00:23:08   if I told them you kids do not know how [TS]

00:23:10   real that was these kids that do not [TS]

00:23:12   real [TS]

00:23:13   I'll tell you another thing that a lot [TS]

00:23:14   of people don't know and this this [TS]

00:23:15   sounds jokey but definitely this in [TS]

00:23:17   Florida there were I would say until [TS]

00:23:21   fairly recently a lot of people who [TS]

00:23:24   well first of all tons of people who [TS]

00:23:26   would not buy a carbon in the u.s. I [TS]

00:23:27   think we can kind of get why they did [TS]

00:23:29   that but have you not known older people [TS]

00:23:31   who would not buy a Japanese car and [TS]

00:23:34   would definitely not by a German car [TS]

00:23:37   oh and have you I know them i mean i [TS]

00:23:39   have a tiny not because BMW for [TS]

00:23:42   douchebags [TS]

00:23:43   I mean I mean like toe-to-toe with me [TS]

00:23:45   and screamed at me for writing in an [TS]

00:23:47   Audi right yeah that was real that was [TS]

00:23:50   real stuff that's you know those were [TS]

00:23:54   the times when I have never got the [TS]

00:23:55   folks and there's a great commercial [TS]

00:23:56   whoever such-and-such whoever didn't [TS]

00:23:58   forget you did but there's that famous [TS]

00:24:00   you know a campaign when they launched [TS]

00:24:02   the the bug but you know those are those [TS]

00:24:05   of you that was a Nazi car was a good [TS]

00:24:07   Nazi car the bottom [TS]

00:24:08   thanks for detectives alright the [TS]

00:24:10   original design was that it was was a [TS]

00:24:14   check it was a checar the first [TS]

00:24:16   rear-engined air-cooled little of [TS]

00:24:21   people's car was it it was made by a was [TS]

00:24:25   made in the Czech Republic and the [TS]

00:24:26   German stolen ferdinand porsche ripped [TS]

00:24:29   it off are you still there i am not [TS]

00:24:31   listed and no I'm just imagining tanks [TS]

00:24:33   rolling into that the Czechoslovakian [TS]

00:24:35   factory all know that this is before [TS]

00:24:37   they stole it before they started during [TS]

00:24:39   peacetime they thought it was [TS]

00:24:41   intellectual theft rather than actual [TS]

00:24:43   nazi were stealing your art theft they [TS]

00:24:46   covered the waterfront there was a [TS]

00:24:48   lawsuit before the war the the check car [TS]

00:24:52   makers actually seed Ferdinand Porsche [TS]

00:24:55   for stealing their design and then [TS]

00:24:58   Germany invaded czechoslovakia and while [TS]

00:25:02   the lawsuit just went away so but anyway [TS]

00:25:08   you're right it was hard too hard too [TS]

00:25:09   hard to find a lawyer [TS]

00:25:11   it was really hard to find a lawyer to [TS]

00:25:12   try that case at the time we should move [TS]

00:25:14   on [TS]

00:25:15   um yeah I never would have had good luck [TS]

00:25:22   with girls [TS]

00:25:23   so we're back to that well let me know [TS]

00:25:25   you know what we should drop that it's [TS]

00:25:26   just it's it's just such a legacy of [TS]

00:25:28   pain and even when it did work out it [TS]

00:25:30   didn't work out I know what the fuck I [TS]

00:25:31   was thinking the whole time I couldn't [TS]

00:25:33   you know what I could have been good in [TS]

00:25:34   school i think i could I got really good [TS]

00:25:37   grades up until like the eighth grade I [TS]

00:25:39   you know I whatever like on I had like [TS]

00:25:42   straight days until i was in like eighth [TS]

00:25:44   grade I went to Florida they put me in [TS]

00:25:46   consumer math and a and and then girls [TS]

00:25:49   wearing very tight pants and there's [TS]

00:25:51   already Speedwagon it was very confusing [TS]

00:25:53   yeah yeah and I don't think I adapted [TS]

00:25:55   well to that and don't think I've ever [TS]

00:25:56   come out of it [TS]

00:25:57   I don't think you could have done well [TS]

00:25:58   in school Merlin hmm i think that you [TS]

00:26:01   are a special breed of person who needed [TS]

00:26:03   a mentor you should have had an adult [TS]

00:26:06   male who took you out like so like [TS]

00:26:09   Scoutmaster and she has Scoutmaster who [TS]

00:26:12   showed you the way and unfortunately now [TS]

00:26:14   we're were as a nation were so panicky [TS]

00:26:17   about pedophiles that we don't let Scout [TS]

00:26:21   masters take young impressionable men [TS]

00:26:23   and show them away and it's unfortunate [TS]

00:26:26   because there are some social good Scout [TS]

00:26:28   masters that there are some of us who [TS]

00:26:30   just needed a Scoutmaster and I'm [TS]

00:26:31   certainly one although i don't think i [TS]

00:26:33   needed a Scoutmaster as much as what I [TS]

00:26:35   needed was a graduate student [TS]

00:26:36   [Music] [TS]

00:26:38   who was who was a you know good at [TS]

00:26:44   sports [TS]

00:26:45   I just like to note for the record I'm [TS]

00:26:47   gonna put this on card that i would [TS]

00:26:49   appreciate that you have tone that down [TS]

00:26:50   because I believe your exact quote for [TS]

00:26:54   me [TS]

00:26:54   ah as early as i want to say 2004 [TS]

00:26:58   repeated several times over the years [TS]

00:27:00   was that actually what I need is quote a [TS]

00:27:03   really good ass-kicking i think you said [TS]

00:27:07   it know what's funny is I at the time [TS]

00:27:08   because I'm because i don't have a [TS]

00:27:10   strong father figure in my life I think [TS]

00:27:12   I thought you were playing a mean thing [TS]

00:27:13   but now I realize you were trying to [TS]

00:27:14   help me and you see you're trying and I [TS]

00:27:16   don't think you necessarily offering to [TS]

00:27:18   do it unless I got talking but but it [TS]

00:27:20   was clear that i think he said I should [TS]

00:27:23   say in your own words because you [TS]

00:27:24   probably remember or something along the [TS]

00:27:25   lines of there's nothing wrong with you [TS]

00:27:27   could not be solved and it might have [TS]

00:27:29   been a couple good ass-kicking there [TS]

00:27:31   might have been something where there [TS]

00:27:32   had to be some follow-up like a second [TS]

00:27:33   visit to the the thing is when I first [TS]

00:27:36   met you you were you are much more [TS]

00:27:38   sensitive than you are now I know I [TS]

00:27:39   wasn't either [TS]

00:27:40   yes you think you were I think the [TS]

00:27:42   Internet has cauterized you a little bit [TS]

00:27:45   at you you know i would say things like [TS]

00:27:48   Merlin you meet somebody should have [TS]

00:27:50   kicked your ass a long time ago and and [TS]

00:27:53   it's not too late [TS]

00:27:54   yeah haha you would start you would get [TS]

00:27:57   a look on your face and like I had like [TS]

00:27:59   you know like I had pulled a lot out of [TS]

00:28:02   nose hair or something you would get [TS]

00:28:04   this like ter too terrible look on your [TS]

00:28:06   face like I said something mean well you [TS]

00:28:09   will you John you're like you're like a [TS]

00:28:10   conscience and incontinent mastiff but [TS]

00:28:13   probably like you have like four [TS]

00:28:14   incontinent massive it's just going to [TS]

00:28:16   be a breaking-in period right I'm going [TS]

00:28:18   to move some things in the house you can [TS]

00:28:19   have to make some arrangements for the [TS]

00:28:21   rugs sure and I think for a lot of [TS]

00:28:22   people are going to be a little bit [TS]

00:28:23   scared about the giant fucking dogs move [TS]

00:28:25   your little crystal figurines up to a [TS]

00:28:27   higher shelf i think the reason our [TS]

00:28:29   relationship if I may say continues to [TS]

00:28:32   grow and thrive is that is that I i yes [TS]

00:28:36   is that you I had some accommodations [TS]

00:28:39   well yes yes you know what yes yes and [TS]

00:28:43   today i'll just say fail now but the [TS]

00:28:46   thing is I don't think one ass-kicking [TS]

00:28:47   would be sufficient think you know just [TS]

00:28:49   starting to scare me [TS]

00:28:50   but it wouldn't sink it you need the [TS]

00:28:52   first ass-kicking going to shop your [TS]

00:28:53   shop and I went missing girl up in the [TS]

00:28:56   corner holding your knees and say yyyy [TS]

00:29:00   and it's only the second ass-kicking [TS]

00:29:03   where it would really you know if you [TS]

00:29:06   know where you would really get that the [TS]

00:29:08   information that you need it turned out [TS]

00:29:10   whatever turns out I was like like Paul [TS]

00:29:12   Newman [TS]

00:29:12   cool hand luke right whatever it turned [TS]

00:29:14   out that the more you did me a tough [TS]

00:29:16   ride ended up being you knocking down [TS]

00:29:17   your dragline you say don't get up and [TS]

00:29:19   then I get up hit me again i keep [TS]

00:29:21   getting up [TS]

00:29:22   I think it's exactly like that except i [TS]

00:29:23   wouldn't get up made right you wouldn't [TS]

00:29:25   get up and pointed ends up dead in that [TS]

00:29:27   movie and that's when he don't know that [TS]

00:29:29   for sure [TS]

00:29:30   yeah I think that's a good movie we put [TS]

00:29:33   him in the car and I don't think they [TS]

00:29:35   get to get him to the hospital like [TS]

00:29:37   nothing I've never seen that movie i'm [TS]

00:29:41   just i'm and i think all the guys in rem [TS]

00:29:43   wearing a cool hand luke t shirt and [TS]

00:29:45   Diane Diane old dad we're going to [TS]

00:29:53   husker du at all not really that's not [TS]

00:29:55   your that's not your cup of tea [TS]

00:29:57   no here's the thing with who's gonna do [TS]

00:29:58   and the Minutemen and the meat puppets [TS]

00:30:01   you know that's my era right i was i was [TS]

00:30:06   right I was right there for all of that [TS]

00:30:09   and I i just didn't it did not connect [TS]

00:30:14   with me nor dinosaur dinosaur he's like [TS]

00:30:17   a nice junior it with you're shitting me [TS]

00:30:20   dinosaur jr thousand times and here's [TS]

00:30:22   the problem i'm up i want to hear a pop [TS]

00:30:26   vocal all come on dinosaur jr. I don't [TS]

00:30:31   get it I don't think he sounds like he's [TS]

00:30:33   he sounds like he's trying to drown [TS]

00:30:35   himself in a toilet [TS]

00:30:36   you're telling me you're telling oh boy [TS]

00:30:40   you know what on right thumb puts a card [TS]

00:30:42   it's gonna be the things we don't talk [TS]

00:30:43   about going to go on the SST man's [TS]

00:30:45   Stevens okay well first of all for i [TS]

00:30:49   love never mind the bollocks because [TS]

00:30:51   it's got a because it's it's fine it's [TS]

00:30:54   got our ankle [TS]

00:30:55   well you know the thing is the thing [TS]

00:30:57   people remember about it was all the [TS]

00:31:00   malcolm mcdowell was named Malcolm [TS]

00:31:03   Ronnie McDowell emotional right a great [TS]

00:31:04   Randy rowdy Piper was there was their [TS]

00:31:07   manager right Malcolm Gladwell model and [TS]

00:31:10   well-managed them knocking nobody [TS]

00:31:12   remembers that that's that's all that I [TS]

00:31:14   disagree retroactive that's like that's [TS]

00:31:18   like all the people in 1994 saying how [TS]

00:31:21   pumped they were in 1986 i was around in [TS]

00:31:24   1986 and nobody was fucking pump [TS]

00:31:27   yeah there were you could count the [TS]

00:31:29   punks on two hands in any city and he [TS]

00:31:32   didn't like them they're unlikable the [TS]

00:31:35   puncture on likable than turds yeah but [TS]

00:31:37   in 1994 oh my god everybody had a [TS]

00:31:39   picture of how pumped they were and it [TS]

00:31:42   was usually a picture that they had [TS]

00:31:44   taken it was a picture of them at [TS]

00:31:45   Halloween dressed as a punk and they [TS]

00:31:48   took the picture and they took a sharpie [TS]

00:31:50   and they sharpie'd out the people on [TS]

00:31:53   either side of them dressed like Batman [TS]

00:31:55   and like shipping address [TS]

00:32:00   I'm heard from burger king and they were [TS]

00:32:02   like and and the sharpie on the picture [TS]

00:32:04   just made it look more punk and then [TS]

00:32:06   they thumb tack it up on their wall and [TS]

00:32:08   it's them with a shaving cream mustache [TS]

00:32:10   perennials shaving cream boho right put [TS]

00:32:13   about shaving their made their hair to [TS]

00:32:14   walk in there like I was so pumped in [TS]

00:32:16   1985 I used to get my ass kicked all the [TS]

00:32:18   time and they were it was it was a it [TS]

00:32:22   was a collective conspiracy of the youth [TS]

00:32:25   of America to rewrite history there were [TS]

00:32:28   no punks in 1986 you I mean unless you [TS]

00:32:31   lived in Baltimore which I didn't they [TS]

00:32:32   are in quincy there were there were [TS]

00:32:34   there were 30 punks in America 30 punks [TS]

00:32:38   I I think your numbers are extremely [TS]

00:32:39   wrong but it's a very interesting point [TS]

00:32:41   three hundred bucks who station [TS]

00:32:44   why the growth ghost code we had [TS]

00:32:46   something our high school called punk [TS]

00:32:47   rock day as part of homecoming [TS]

00:32:49   and I will find a picture i think i [TS]

00:32:50   might have actually posted one of them [TS]

00:32:52   here this is me with my dad oh no God no [TS]

00:32:54   I i see i wanna come back to this job [TS]

00:32:56   because there's more salient point [TS]

00:32:58   salient point how do you say it because [TS]

00:33:00   you don't say it you don't sit there is [TS]

00:33:02   a more salient point you don't like [TS]

00:33:04   salian no I wouldn't say salad sailing [TS]

00:33:07   and troubling is a saw Squatch and [TS]

00:33:12   everyone correctly and says it's [TS]

00:33:14   pronounced sasquatch [TS]

00:33:16   I don't know that's like a jam is I've [TS]

00:33:19   been living in a Washington for many [TS]

00:33:21   many years I grew up in the northwest [TS]

00:33:22   I say Sasquatch and I believe that that [TS]

00:33:25   is how it should be pronounced whether [TS]

00:33:27   that is the pronunciation or not I [TS]

00:33:29   cannot say but I think that's how it [TS]

00:33:31   should be pronounced oh yeah punk rock [TS]

00:33:33   day with you that they look at that it's [TS]

00:33:36   33 cheerleaders who were they wearing [TS]

00:33:38   what are they waiting when they were [TS]

00:33:39   going through wearing garbage but they [TS]

00:33:41   weren't garbage bags and skinny ties [TS]

00:33:43   garbage bags and skinny talking about [TS]

00:33:45   the head one got a hair on the side a [TS]

00:33:46   little bit that's pretty punk writes got [TS]

00:33:48   the side ponytail the other than that [TS]

00:33:49   the middle girl has a has a headband and [TS]

00:33:52   she has she has girl jeans let would buy [TS]

00:33:56   with the skinny belt for young people [TS]

00:33:59   who didn't we weren't wearing pants in [TS]

00:34:02   the eighties I wish we had a girl I wish [TS]

00:34:06   you'd been more girls not wearing pants [TS]

00:34:07   in the eighties were wear blue jeans but [TS]

00:34:12   cut for a woman's figure out which I [TS]

00:34:14   like any tina fey style mom jeans yeah [TS]

00:34:16   they were very high waisted they make [TS]

00:34:18   your ass look like a pair that had been [TS]

00:34:20   sitting in a place on the pleats the [TS]

00:34:22   plates were terrible although everything [TS]

00:34:24   it bleaches then the girl on the left [TS]

00:34:27   has got some she's got her dad [TS]

00:34:30   sunglasses on and it looks like a chain [TS]

00:34:33   belt around her Barbie probably from a [TS]

00:34:36   good we'll see 1983 [TS]

00:34:38   I mean I was there mhm mhm you would you [TS]

00:34:42   throw some vans on that a painter's cap [TS]

00:34:44   yeah but in terms of people who are [TS]

00:34:48   actually actually punk rock who are [TS]

00:34:50   actually practicing punk rock as a as a [TS]

00:34:53   lifestyle has a belief system [TS]

00:34:56   I'm afraid [TS]

00:34:58   that I'm afraid that the numbers have [TS]

00:35:00   been incredibly inflated over the years [TS]

00:35:02   and this is the problem with the sex [TS]

00:35:03   pistol story at the time nobody knew [TS]

00:35:06   nobody knew that the sex pistols war [TS]

00:35:08   hoax [TS]

00:35:09   that's all retro active over smartness [TS]

00:35:13   everybody's like oh I do you think it [TS]

00:35:15   sounds gay [TS]

00:35:16   I knew he was gay the whole time no you [TS]

00:35:19   did not [TS]

00:35:20   nobody knew rap rob halford we talked [TS]

00:35:22   ourselves out of a lot of things we [TS]

00:35:25   should have known John don't you think [TS]

00:35:27   well there was so much we should have [TS]

00:35:28   green manalishi era I mean like wow talk [TS]

00:35:31   about what we should have known we [TS]

00:35:32   should have known that the Russians [TS]

00:35:34   weren't a threat and that there was [TS]

00:35:35   never gonna let me think about what my [TS]

00:35:37   entire life was preparing my whole [TS]

00:35:40   nuclear warhead for nuclear war that was [TS]

00:35:42   my single biggest fear I was terrified [TS]

00:35:44   yeah and it never happened I feel like [TS]

00:35:46   you remember that I was that the day [TS]

00:35:48   after all that man i was i had the right [TS]

00:35:50   i was reading books about it and I knew [TS]

00:35:52   there was no chance I I knew I mean like [TS]

00:35:54   the best I could hope for was going to [TS]

00:35:56   be to die slowly from burns because no [TS]

00:35:59   matter where you were they show you this [TS]

00:36:00   maps with the concentric circles like [TS]

00:36:02   here in Chicago don't worry about it [TS]

00:36:03   you're good and dead sure your vaporizer [TS]

00:36:05   man chicago but somewhere like a like if [TS]

00:36:07   you're near Fort Bragg or whatever game [TS]

00:36:08   over [TS]

00:36:09   don't worry about do your paper you're [TS]

00:36:12   right you're totally right i i i think [TS]

00:36:15   okay now I know this is a joke that [TS]

00:36:16   already spoon is made a song but did you [TS]

00:36:18   ever see the quincy punk episode [TS]

00:36:20   have you ever seen that i have seen the [TS]

00:36:21   Quincy is pretty famous pretty hilarious [TS]

00:36:23   its kind is this if there were I wish [TS]

00:36:26   there was some kind of mind map diagram [TS]

00:36:28   for this because I in my head you got [TS]

00:36:29   nicolas cage and valley girl you've got [TS]

00:36:32   the quincy punk episode you got fast [TS]

00:36:36   times at ridgemont high maybe a little [TS]

00:36:38   bit [TS]

00:36:38   well but but the the real key to [TS]

00:36:41   understanding this era is the punk-rock [TS]

00:36:43   guys that appear in every Charles [TS]

00:36:46   Bronson oh right right where Charles [TS]

00:36:50   Bronson is walking across a parking [TS]

00:36:53   garage at night and in the end son [TS]

00:36:55   little Punk's literal pump yes somebody [TS]

00:36:58   and suddenly you hear somebody go and [TS]

00:37:02   ruin that chilled goes up the back of [TS]

00:37:04   your neck [TS]

00:37:04   what about the baseball furies whether [TS]

00:37:06   whether punks in the Warriors they're [TS]

00:37:08   kinda like Punk's they're kinda like [TS]

00:37:09   mine [TS]

00:37:10   what rocky horror picture punch remember [TS]

00:37:14   the baseball furies the guy that just [TS]

00:37:15   like just in mind they look like the [TS]

00:37:17   Yankees yeah that one count [TS]

00:37:21   no not well I mean it's that's a little [TS]

00:37:24   glam i have a canonical example here if [TS]

00:37:27   I can find it on the YouTube to remember [TS]

00:37:29   remember the stage band here these [TS]

00:37:31   pictures are really really great [TS]

00:37:33   yeah um everybody has the everybody in [TS]

00:37:37   this picture has their hair parted right [TS]

00:37:39   down the middle straight out where where [TS]

00:37:42   it was like what was that kind of bread [TS]

00:37:43   where they they advertised it that they [TS]

00:37:46   had butter the butter split-top bread [TS]

00:37:48   butter top brass sure that everybody's [TS]

00:37:50   hair looks like a loaf of butter top [TS]

00:37:51   bread em back into that Qatar cost $150 [TS]

00:37:55   name sleeveless shirt what is that a [TS]

00:37:56   squire mouseover it's a similar similar [TS]

00:38:00   it's a it's sort of like and even hail [TS]

00:38:02   internet explorer into a fake v this [TS]

00:38:04   kind of look like that but what I see [TS]

00:38:06   what you're saying it's a mess it's a [TS]

00:38:08   mess i'm gonna send you something [TS]

00:38:10   youtube you can watch if you want but [TS]

00:38:11   you don't have to be get the idea i'm [TS]

00:38:13   not gonna do it right now this issue [TS]

00:38:14   just all this amount of multimedia is [TS]

00:38:16   already understand my point you get your [TS]

00:38:18   assistant the scene in Terminator first [TS]

00:38:21   Terminator movie when a Schwarzenegger [TS]

00:38:22   lands and they still naked and you get [TS]

00:38:25   so minutes by Punk's right remember who [TS]

00:38:28   the head punk was no bill paxton no yeah [TS]

00:38:32   Jack's taxed you know III has anybody [TS]

00:38:35   ever pointed out the the resemblance [TS]

00:38:38   between you and Bill Paxton oh I'm sorry [TS]

00:38:41   I've had a nerve now not till now [TS]

00:38:44   oh my god I always kick backs to confuse [TS]

00:38:46   with the other guy who's the other guy [TS]

00:38:48   well now the guy who's a good husband [TS]

00:38:50   and dumb and dumber was one guy who [TS]

00:38:53   looks like me and dumb and dumber the [TS]

00:38:54   other guy Bill Paxton and jeff daniels [TS]

00:38:56   now it's not home so I cannot help [TS]

00:38:58   accident or just against Jeff Daniels [TS]

00:39:00   he's pretty good [TS]

00:39:01   yeah so I want my point being John [TS]

00:39:03   you're absolutely correct i want to say [TS]

00:39:04   Shh [TS]

00:39:05   terminator i want to say 1984 is that [TS]

00:39:08   right Lois Terminator I'd say 84 nothing [TS]

00:39:11   gets the cool that's where he gets the [TS]

00:39:12   cool leather jacket that he wears for [TS]

00:39:14   the rest of the film [TS]

00:39:15   yes maybe kills the punk rocker [TS]

00:39:18   terminator 1984 film by james cameron we [TS]

00:39:21   got a full of himself [TS]

00:39:22   boy that guy okay good i could see [TS]

00:39:26   crimes my gears that guy i love this [TS]

00:39:28   this mugshot of you at the taking of the [TS]

00:39:31   Sarasota Police Department you like that [TS]

00:39:33   one you know I i tried to get the [TS]

00:39:35   mugshot taken me by the Boulder County [TS]

00:39:37   Sheriff's Department will give it to you [TS]

00:39:40   similar area and make here's what they [TS]

00:39:42   said we had a we had a fire and it [TS]

00:39:45   burned down the courthouse and all of [TS]

00:39:48   our records were lost i believe that and [TS]

00:39:51   I said come on that's some kind of that [TS]

00:39:56   some kind of like you want to make me [TS]

00:40:00   believe in black helicopters me a story [TS]

00:40:02   like that I've had other people other [TS]

00:40:04   friends my went to the same police [TS]

00:40:06   station you want to comment on this i'm [TS]

00:40:08   just going to do for fun [TS]

00:40:09   hi i am of my friends that went to try [TS]

00:40:12   and do the same thing they said no way I [TS]

00:40:13   went in there and they gave me two [TS]

00:40:14   copies gratis free of charge walked out [TS]

00:40:17   with mugshots i have a tie-dye t-shirt [TS]

00:40:20   and cold sore [TS]

00:40:21   yeah and get the hair that you you call [TS]

00:40:24   a mullet and that um I want to come back [TS]

00:40:26   to something here i wish i could find my [TS]

00:40:28   mug shots hear about those were men have [TS]

00:40:30   been arrested [TS]

00:40:32   have I been arrested John here's the [TS]

00:40:34   thing I I don't talk about this publicly [TS]

00:40:36   but not there's an implied third [TS]

00:40:38   realization things I never asked you [TS]

00:40:40   about that I always wanted to ask you [TS]

00:40:41   about so maybe in the future i will ask [TS]

00:40:42   you about them there many things are [TS]

00:40:44   there are many things i would love to [TS]

00:40:45   ask you about I not because I'm scared [TS]

00:40:47   and not because i think you're scared to [TS]

00:40:49   talk about it but there are many things [TS]

00:40:50   that you don't talk about much anymore [TS]

00:40:52   that I very interested in yeah he told [TS]

00:40:55   me about your teeth one day and and I [TS]

00:40:57   almost fell off my chair [TS]

00:40:58   yeah that's a terrible story it's a [TS]

00:40:59   terrible story but these are great [TS]

00:41:00   stories and this is why you're Charles [TS]

00:41:02   Nelson Reilly you should be on shows [TS]

00:41:04   talking about this terminals and riley [TS]

00:41:05   is four foot eleven i think you passed [TS]

00:41:07   Charles Nelson Reilly was 4 foot 11 mm [TS]

00:41:11   yes a pretty big glasses just for [TS]

00:41:13   tourists you did I mean he was it was [TS]

00:41:15   obviously a polymath but but you're [TS]

00:41:17   comparison [TS]

00:41:18   your constant comparison to me it's like [TS]

00:41:20   when people compare me to Bruce Vilanch [TS]

00:41:22   my crystal ants is a very funny man i [TS]

00:41:26   appreciate right appreciate if you mean [TS]

00:41:29   that as a compliment but Bruce Vilanch [TS]

00:41:30   is a that he has these trays control [TS]

00:41:33   he's looking at all [TS]

00:41:35   he looks like a pile of ectoplasm with a [TS]

00:41:37   with like an emo Philips wig on [TS]

00:41:40   don't compare me to Bruce Vilanch and [TS]

00:41:42   and i have to say the same but Charles [TS]

00:41:44   Nelson Reilly when you want to you want [TS]

00:41:45   to compare me to somebody like I mean if [TS]

00:41:48   you want to compare me to Paul Newman [TS]

00:41:50   but it's exactly the kind of thing [TS]

00:41:51   Charles Nelson rallies to do is forever [TS]

00:41:53   correcting people who he should be [TS]

00:41:55   compared to now he did not like being [TS]

00:41:57   compared to Clifton Webb because he [TS]

00:41:58   thought Clinton have seemed a little gay [TS]

00:41:59   i'm now I Bruce flange it's kind of what [TS]

00:42:03   like it's sort of like like I gay [TS]

00:42:05   mushroom and a Gator roll had gay sex [TS]

00:42:07   and and reflash came out funny shirt [TS]

00:42:10   heard you don't mess with that guy [TS]

00:42:12   so here's the lawyer yeah who is it had [TS]

00:42:14   made fun of him in a song [TS]

00:42:15   Oh was a principal inch LCD soundsystem [TS]

00:42:18   got in a fight with all michael musto [TS]

00:42:20   the gay don't like being made fun did [TS]

00:42:23   you know that [TS]

00:42:24   well some to get records are like normal [TS]

00:42:26   people they some of them have a sense of [TS]

00:42:29   humor and some of them are a little [TS]

00:42:31   shrill that's not funny [TS]

00:42:32   well some games would think it was funny [TS]

00:42:35   other gays would get all Mary about the [TS]

00:42:38   closet laughter seriously think about [TS]

00:42:40   Bruce Vilanch is that he has so much [TS]

00:42:42   he's he shaped like a like a traffic [TS]

00:42:45   cone and it and it has so much [TS]

00:42:48   there's so much extra flesh around his [TS]

00:42:52   neck [TS]

00:42:53   I get the feeling looking at him that if [TS]

00:42:55   a gust of wind came up that is next that [TS]

00:42:58   would slap him in the face more than [TS]

00:43:00   George Lucas will see George Lucas what [TS]

00:43:03   George Lucas has is that he had he has [TS]

00:43:07   no face architecture returns knowledge [TS]

00:43:10   here if he didn't have that beard you're [TS]

00:43:11   saying that oh my god I've I'm sorry to [TS]

00:43:14   interrupt but I just realized you just [TS]

00:43:15   made me realize he has if he would go [TS]

00:43:18   straight dewlap to mouth Gibby I don't [TS]

00:43:20   get from from the bottom of his nose to [TS]

00:43:22   his Adam's apple [TS]

00:43:23   nothing there but am I literally look [TS]

00:43:26   like Jabba the Hutt just sort of [TS]

00:43:27   floating in a in annex pace [TS]

00:43:30   and he makes the claim is the category [TS]

00:43:33   error of thinking that you can this is [TS]

00:43:35   the andrew dice clay error which is as [TS]

00:43:38   your face falls apart you make you [TS]

00:43:41   delineate where the face once was [TS]

00:43:45   by cutting your beard in more and more [TS]

00:43:47   angular shapes and it absolutely doesn't [TS]

00:43:50   work what you need to do as your face [TS]

00:43:52   falls apart is just let your beard grow [TS]

00:43:55   into a huge bushy thing and then nobody [TS]

00:43:58   can see what's underneath it that [TS]

00:44:00   self-awareness it's like a light you can [TS]

00:44:02   like you're gonna run toward Ty Cobb [TS]

00:44:04   after he hits the ball now you follow [TS]

00:44:05   the ball not the batter right that's [TS]

00:44:07   right [TS]

00:44:07   be the ball see the ball be the ball the [TS]

00:44:10   ball Danny to Latin you do not want you [TS]

00:44:13   do not want to try and fool people into [TS]

00:44:15   thinking you have a face by cutting your [TS]

00:44:17   beard into like a helmet strap that's [TS]

00:44:21   what George Lucas looks like he's [TS]

00:44:22   wearing a hair helmet that's held on [TS]

00:44:24   with a beard strap it but you know the [TS]

00:44:26   way he said yes and he knows enough [TS]

00:44:28   about all of that stuff he has ruined [TS]

00:44:30   enough movies he's killed enough faces [TS]

00:44:33   look Carrie Fisher Fisher beautiful [TS]

00:44:35   woman looks like Bozo the Clown in the [TS]

00:44:36   first Star Wars movie beautiful woman he [TS]

00:44:38   knows what a face should look like [TS]

00:44:39   theoretically he has people that could [TS]

00:44:41   give him photos and maybe some notes he [TS]

00:44:44   literally every day he makes the [TS]

00:44:45   decision to have his dewlap stick out [TS]

00:44:47   from underneath his beard you saw him [TS]

00:44:49   from the side he would look like a [TS]

00:44:51   boomeritis he would be a large South [TS]

00:44:53   American Marine frog [TS]

00:44:54   this is why this is paul allen's problem [TS]

00:44:56   to their riches one that's one of [TS]

00:44:59   poland's problems they have a rich [TS]

00:45:01   enough that they surround themselves [TS]

00:45:02   with people who agree with them that [TS]

00:45:04   this is not a I'm not I'm not telling [TS]

00:45:07   you anything you don't know but it's not [TS]

00:45:08   just the base around themselves with [TS]

00:45:10   people who agree with them they [TS]

00:45:11   completely exclude anyone who even [TS]

00:45:15   raises their eyebrows even so the [TS]

00:45:18   suggestion of somebody who might say hey [TS]

00:45:21   uh that tie is I don't know who that guy [TS]

00:45:27   is out like he is it that he comes to [TS]

00:45:32   the next door and his security card [TS]

00:45:34   won't work anymore you know what I mean [TS]

00:45:36   like he can't even he can't even use the [TS]

00:45:38   restroom [TS]

00:45:39   there's already a security guard [TS]

00:45:40   standing there [TS]

00:45:41   a milk crate with his desk contents and [TS]

00:45:45   he's escorted out of the building you [TS]

00:45:46   see you're talking about you talk about [TS]

00:45:48   Paul Allen specifically as it as an [TS]

00:45:50   analogous thing for George Lucas your [TS]

00:45:51   time you look you look at Paul Allen you [TS]

00:45:53   go Paul your ear like the fifth richest [TS]

00:45:56   man in the world [TS]

00:45:58   why are you first of all why are you [TS]

00:46:00   wearing parti-colored Dockers and second [TS]

00:46:03   of all I mean really the Portland [TS]

00:46:07   Trailblazers but third of all [TS]

00:46:10   yeah it just seems like you don't get [TS]

00:46:12   many librarians paul allen has on staff [TS]

00:46:15   apollon employees like nine people just [TS]

00:46:18   to be his librarians busy no need dental [TS]

00:46:21   hygienist my Christ are you looking at a [TS]

00:46:24   picture huh [TS]

00:46:25   I mean I know I don't even Seattle I [TS]

00:46:28   used to I used to drink coffee I used to [TS]

00:46:30   drink coffee and used to smoke em so I [TS]

00:46:33   understand teeth stains but my goodness [TS]

00:46:35   me [TS]

00:46:36   bility galaxies from Yorkshire not a [TS]

00:46:38   good way i have to stop talking about [TS]

00:46:40   Paul and because of that because he'd [TS]

00:46:42   crush our is gonna go off in my [TS]

00:46:43   apartment my house here in a second and [TS]

00:46:46   the black helicopters gonna wake up with [TS]

00:46:48   an amp head in your bed you know what [TS]

00:46:50   I'm that's kind of funny if you really [TS]

00:46:51   think about it for a second you walk [TS]

00:46:52   wake up wake up with a like a fender [TS]

00:46:55   yeah instead of a horse's head right now [TS]

00:46:56   you're not explaining your jokes pretty [TS]

00:46:58   good i wanna talk about us to that's on [TS]

00:47:00   my list and I got a lot of stuff on the [TS]

00:47:02   list i'm talking about Ames oh gosh they [TS]

00:47:04   all talk about it well we should close a [TS]

00:47:06   couple threats you but i still i want to [TS]

00:47:07   just keep in mind as a lot of things I [TS]

00:47:08   want to talk about case so we got Paul [TS]

00:47:10   Allen did you get the thing with the the [TS]

00:47:12   Lucas picture you know George Lucas grew [TS]

00:47:15   if you just let his neck hair grow then [TS]

00:47:18   you would think wow what a lustrous [TS]

00:47:20   beard and you would realize that that [TS]

00:47:21   that that that wasn't a beard that it [TS]

00:47:23   was all that it was all flesh [TS]

00:47:27   hmm and it just had a coating of hair [TS]

00:47:28   honor you not getting this all about you [TS]

00:47:31   but i'm thinking i'm gonna look this up [TS]

00:47:33   i think you in that December's video and [TS]

00:47:35   I don't know if you professionally curl [TS]

00:47:37   your hair beard well handsome pictures [TS]

00:47:40   how it came [TS]

00:47:43   wow that's what your beard was doing [TS]

00:47:45   then that's just what it would do if I [TS]

00:47:47   if I if I'd if I let my beard grow for [TS]

00:47:49   six months that's what it would do [TS]

00:47:51   help so that's that's six months [TS]

00:47:54   appeared for you [TS]

00:47:55   this is a circumstance where I don't do [TS]

00:47:58   anything but I don't where I don't know [TS]

00:48:02   2005 my gosh look at that guy [TS]

00:48:06   um I'm gonna put this in the notes i [TS]

00:48:09   couid i'm thinking if if George Lucas [TS]

00:48:12   grew a beard like that right yeah I as [TS]

00:48:16   you know John I'm not an architect but [TS]

00:48:17   my thinking is this disguise is a lot of [TS]

00:48:19   the problems it gives his face shape [TS]

00:48:21   which is nice he doesn't have that right [TS]

00:48:23   there is no CGI four faces yet uh but it [TS]

00:48:28   also conceals the fact that there's a [TS]

00:48:29   big thing under there [TS]

00:48:30   they don't know what could be under [TS]

00:48:31   there you know it could be it could be a [TS]

00:48:34   like an unnecessary rat and mouse Isley [TS]

00:48:37   you never know we don't think about [TS]

00:48:39   George Lucas's faces he has a nice face [TS]

00:48:41   it's just that it's sitting on top of a [TS]

00:48:43   beanbag chair it's a phase that sitting [TS]

00:48:46   on is that sitting on like what you [TS]

00:48:48   don't remember those remember those [TS]

00:48:49   ashtrays remember being back a strange [TS]

00:48:52   number [TS]

00:48:53   you were supposed to like use when you [TS]

00:48:55   were driving to work in your earlier and [TS]

00:48:57   that jeep cherokee or in bed [TS]

00:48:58   mhm he hit his face looks like like a [TS]

00:49:02   nice face sitting in a beanbag gas tank [TS]

00:49:04   made us he was actually a try to find [TS]

00:49:08   old when he was actually super cool [TS]

00:49:10   looking at wedding day long [TS]

00:49:12   oh yeah but we were all super cool [TS]

00:49:13   looking well be accepted [TS]

00:49:15   I'm just mhm I'm just saying like giving [TS]

00:49:18   the Delta like this is this is a guy I'm [TS]

00:49:21   send you one of this is a horrible show [TS]

00:49:23   this is a person sending John pictures [TS]

00:49:27   from the internet [TS]

00:49:28   yeah that's not gonna show ever figured [TS]

00:49:30   out that i could look at these brown I'm [TS]

00:49:32   gonna put them all shown it's because [TS]

00:49:33   this is an important point but a lot of [TS]

00:49:35   people listen to this podcast on their [TS]

00:49:37   iPads iPods yeah while they're driving [TS]

00:49:39   in their cars and they're gonna be like [TS]

00:49:41   I can't see these pictures this is [TS]

00:49:42   annoying [TS]

00:49:43   it's an important point to be made here [TS]

00:49:45   now iĆ­ve been accused by many of my [TS]

00:49:49   well by the people-to-people 23 people i [TS]

00:49:51   know that i talk too much about Star [TS]

00:49:53   Wars and grocery stores so I'm gonna [TS]

00:49:54   stop except to say I'm a quote my friend [TS]

00:49:57   Maya another one of my friends named [TS]

00:49:59   John who says a [TS]

00:50:01   yeah he's calling somebody from Twitter [TS]

00:50:03   here but somebody saying that basically [TS]

00:50:05   Star Wars has become for George Lucas [TS]

00:50:07   what Joan Rivers his face is for joan [TS]

00:50:10   rivers and that makes have thought that [TS]

00:50:12   was brilliant to begin with em because [TS]

00:50:15   why because you can't you can't see that [TS]

00:50:17   these changes are not helping right yeah [TS]

00:50:20   you can't stop fucking with it and it's [TS]

00:50:22   not helping right nobody around you is [TS]

00:50:24   going to go and knock that off right you [TS]

00:50:26   should turn your creativity towards [TS]

00:50:29   something outside of yourself i think i [TS]

00:50:31   think george lucas me have the same [TS]

00:50:33   problem with his head he's got his [TS]

00:50:36   blindness he's got to that blindness he [TS]

00:50:38   does he doesn't matter and we all we all [TS]

00:50:40   develop blindness is about ourselves I [TS]

00:50:43   mean I'm sure when I look in the mirror [TS]

00:50:44   I see i have i have a kind of a [TS]

00:50:48   dysmorphia I think this is a common [TS]

00:50:51   problem for people who aren't [TS]

00:50:52   billionaires who are surrounded by yes [TS]

00:50:55   men we developed a dysmorphic the view [TS]

00:50:58   of ourselves where we look in the mirror [TS]

00:51:00   like for instance I look in the mirror [TS]

00:51:01   and I say I am fat and has this [TS]

00:51:07   dysmorphic out i am fat and and although [TS]

00:51:12   I'll at one level [TS]

00:51:15   yes I am hi i am well i think the word [TS]

00:51:19   make the word that sears would use is [TS]

00:51:22   husky series would call me husky i'm a [TS]

00:51:25   i'm a largely I'm bomb a large have a [TS]

00:51:28   large frame [TS]

00:51:29   mm you wish i was i say you're big and [TS]

00:51:32   tall [TS]

00:51:33   I'm big and tall but but really I'm not [TS]

00:51:35   fat like I don't I don't you don't want [TS]

00:51:39   all your very dignified and thank you [TS]

00:51:41   that's nice of you to say okay but IDK [TS]

00:51:44   yourself well John I'm height weight [TS]

00:51:46   proportionate I mean I'm a big man let's [TS]

00:51:48   not go nuts [TS]

00:51:49   height weight proportionate you wouldn't [TS]

00:51:51   say I was HW p it but if you were [TS]

00:51:54   writing if you were writing a personal [TS]

00:51:56   ad for me food and he didn't want to lie [TS]

00:52:00   yeah you wouldn't say HW can see just a [TS]

00:52:04   husky swm white male the correct single [TS]

00:52:10   letter that's right your mail right um [TS]

00:52:11   ok [TS]

00:52:13   more of me to love a basement full of [TS]

00:52:19   eyeglasses your kid and flatulence [TS]

00:52:22   problems [TS]

00:52:23   well in my dream date problem not a [TS]

00:52:25   problem no it's an opportunity think [TS]

00:52:27   that's right it's a good some freshman's [TS]

00:52:30   opportunity [TS]

00:52:31   yeah my old guy people who are into it I [TS]

00:52:35   I am I so many so many thrust close here [TS]

00:52:40   we don't worry i saw you have [TS]

00:52:41   proportionate I said let's come back to [TS]

00:52:43   this I i saw the you know what nevermind [TS]

00:52:45   everyone everyone what you saw what I [TS]

00:52:48   saw a are suddenly bridesmaids so the [TS]

00:52:50   first third of it and I was prepared for [TS]

00:52:53   it to be really dumb but I I like the [TS]

00:52:55   people and I watched it the first I've [TS]

00:52:57   seen it's one of the funniest movies [TS]

00:52:58   i've seen in a very long time its [TS]

00:52:59   extreme first heard of it [TS]

00:53:01   well I have to go to bed I'm kind of an [TS]

00:53:02   older now okay yeah and and the entire [TS]

00:53:07   time I you can you can you can veto any [TS]

00:53:11   part of this if you want the whole time [TS]

00:53:12   all I could think to myself was ok the [TS]

00:53:15   leaders that died [TS]

00:53:16   Kirsten big designer named you know the [TS]

00:53:18   wonderful hilarious women for siren life [TS]

00:53:19   she's the star and she's this just [TS]

00:53:22   fantastic character but like the whole [TS]

00:53:24   time [TS]

00:53:24   anytime I want anything involving single [TS]

00:53:26   people i just say to myself you know [TS]

00:53:27   what I say I'm very happy to be in a [TS]

00:53:30   good relationship with a good person but [TS]

00:53:31   be I guess I just couldn't stand having [TS]

00:53:35   to deal with that like not being in a [TS]

00:53:36   relationship and then wanting a [TS]

00:53:37   relationship and going through all of [TS]

00:53:39   that stuff that the really singles ads I [TS]

00:53:41   just not for other people that works for [TS]

00:53:43   some people for me [TS]

00:53:44   ah i can't imagine how they could [TS]

00:53:46   possibly turn out well yeah but there's [TS]

00:53:49   also reporting the other people should [TS]

00:53:51   have to write those ads for you [TS]

00:53:52   well yeah but I mean if you had somebody [TS]

00:53:57   that was close enough to you that could [TS]

00:53:58   write a a useful signal singles ad about [TS]

00:54:01   you you wouldn't be single [TS]

00:54:02   well I think of it this way i don't know [TS]

00:54:04   if you guys I met you guys have the car [TS]

00:54:06   smoking thing up there you get your car [TS]

00:54:08   smog right up here we have that well [TS]

00:54:11   there's like you know you go in there's [TS]

00:54:12   like these places you know that will [TS]

00:54:14   check your small gang of the places [TS]

00:54:15   we'll fix your small game against the [TS]

00:54:17   Dead Kennedys song a trusty mechanic [TS]

00:54:19   right you want to get a second opinion [TS]

00:54:21   before you get an operation you know [TS]

00:54:23   especially with some elective thing [TS]

00:54:25   right and I'm just saying [TS]

00:54:26   to keep things above board there should [TS]

00:54:29   be you that identifies the need for that [TS]

00:54:31   ad right at the end at the end of the [TS]

00:54:34   value chain there should be somebody who [TS]

00:54:35   puts the ad into some kind of medium in [TS]

00:54:37   between there should be one or more [TS]

00:54:38   people possibly a review board [TS]

00:54:40   well here's the exit the better the [TS]

00:54:42   proper facets four facets and completion [TS]

00:54:44   there's a problem with this theory [TS]

00:54:45   further the first problem is from the [TS]

00:54:47   when you talk about the girls somehow [TS]

00:54:50   along the way in America at least the [TS]

00:54:54   definition of an adult female [TS]

00:54:56   relationship has become that your female [TS]

00:55:02   friend if you are a woman your best [TS]

00:55:04   female friends need to be one hundred [TS]

00:55:06   percent supportive of you this is this [TS]

00:55:10   is now somehow has become the definition [TS]

00:55:12   of female friendship in America so that [TS]

00:55:15   no matter how reprehensible you are as a [TS]

00:55:18   person your best female friends can only [TS]

00:55:22   say to you girl you are you rule you [TS]

00:55:26   know what he's not making it a priority [TS]

00:55:28   girl you are the all-girl you know like [TS]

00:55:32   your girlfriend's can only pump you up [TS]

00:55:35   you cannot in it and nothing everything [TS]

00:55:37   they say that the most important part is [TS]

00:55:39   that they consistently stay on brand [TS]

00:55:41   it's like they might even not hundreds [TS]

00:55:42   and believe that right I can't believe [TS]

00:55:43   it all but ok stay on brand because [TS]

00:55:45   that's the definition of friendship if a [TS]

00:55:47   woman says to another woman now you know [TS]

00:55:49   what actually in this situation I think [TS]

00:55:51   maybe u dot you put an ellipses there [TS]

00:55:55   and the friendship is over the girls [TS]

00:55:56   like oh my god I can't believe it she [TS]

00:55:59   she was you know she was trying to tell [TS]

00:56:01   me how to live like girls that girl of [TS]

00:56:04   the the definition of female friendship [TS]

00:56:05   has become completely perverted so it is [TS]

00:56:09   rubber to rubber stamp it's a rubber [TS]

00:56:11   stamp it's absolutely you you're here [TS]

00:56:12   for your friends are just a proxy for [TS]

00:56:15   your own fuckin problems now so if you [TS]

00:56:18   had your if it in a female situation the [TS]

00:56:20   girlfriends would write an even more [TS]

00:56:23   ridiculously like a fantastical [TS]

00:56:28   definition of their friends because they [TS]

00:56:29   wouldn't there there's no way one woman [TS]

00:56:32   would say about another woman [TS]

00:56:33   oh you know there's more over to love [TS]

00:56:35   are you kidding me that that the [TS]

00:56:38   flamethrowers would come out and in the [TS]

00:56:40   case of the guys i mean at one guy right [TS]

00:56:43   so what's a personal ad for another guy [TS]

00:56:45   first one that would never happen but [TS]

00:56:47   but if you do it okay if he was forced [TS]

00:56:50   to it would be like yeah i mean he's [TS]

00:56:51   dude or whatever he's got I guess ok it [TS]

00:56:56   would be to be single single white male [TS]

00:56:59   fine whatever i guess i'm not gay single [TS]

00:57:02   dude once a chick if you know be cool [TS]

00:57:07   solid solid bro yeah don't be like w/w [TS]

00:57:11   bitch that's it I guess [TS]

00:57:14   hmm have a nice nice parts so you're [TS]

00:57:17   saying that this system is going to work [TS]

00:57:18   at the review board system we're going [TS]

00:57:20   to work you would have to have really [TS]

00:57:22   preferably impartial 3rd parties [TS]

00:57:24   what you need is a tribunal [TS]

00:57:27   what you need is a panel of six people [TS]

00:57:30   who like relax for everyone or commodity [TS]

00:57:33   type situation exactly so youyou you [TS]

00:57:35   submit your online profile you stand [TS]

00:57:38   accused of being single please be [TS]

00:57:39   patient with a research on you they look [TS]

00:57:42   at your facebook pictures yet little bit [TS]

00:57:43   of research i think a sitting position [TS]

00:57:45   they would have gone to town on that [TS]

00:57:47   shit take the firehouse there's millions [TS]

00:57:49   of people writing personal ads there's [TS]

00:57:50   only six people on the tribunal they [TS]

00:57:52   need to get through these pretty John [TS]

00:57:53   John you're a single person telling the [TS]

00:57:55   world that you're alone i think that is [TS]

00:57:57   worth having your house invaded by monks [TS]

00:57:58   if they're going to come in a very [TS]

00:58:01   thorough right and the thing is they're [TS]

00:58:02   probably not going to harm you unless [TS]

00:58:03   you got a comment but they're going to [TS]

00:58:05   go through all your stuff they're gonna [TS]

00:58:06   go through your past certainly yes [TS]

00:58:07   they're gonna they're gonna suck on your [TS]

00:58:09   Facebook page right and how many people [TS]

00:58:12   you think three or four is it all men [TS]

00:58:14   whose on the tribunal no no it has to be [TS]

00:58:16   it has to be men and women i think i [TS]

00:58:17   think again i hate to keep referencing [TS]

00:58:19   4chan now but I think we should just I [TS]

00:58:22   think this is what 4chan is for people [TS]

00:58:25   have been asking what the hell is [TS]

00:58:26   fortunate for I think 4chan is the [TS]

00:58:28   tribunal that should be writing personal [TS]

00:58:30   ads for single people because those [TS]

00:58:32   people are merciless and they know how [TS]

00:58:34   to find your your pictures on flickr you [TS]

00:58:38   know what I mean like I don't care how [TS]

00:58:39   many levels of security you have on your [TS]

00:58:42   on your internet photos if you have [TS]

00:58:44   taken a photo and put it on the internet [TS]

00:58:46   anywhere fortune will find it [TS]

00:58:48   and they're behind seven proxies there [TS]

00:58:50   behind seven proxies they will find that [TS]

00:58:52   they will they will photoshop some semen [TS]

00:58:55   on your face [TS]

00:58:56   mhm and then they will write a personal [TS]

00:58:58   attributes are snapping it called a [TS]

00:59:00   seaman shop scene shop that's a nap is i [TS]

00:59:03   think it's a it's on the new iphone 5 [TS]

00:59:05   that's costly and very hard to update [TS]

00:59:06   299 hmm demon shop but but but I swear [TS]

00:59:13   to you that would mean you're saying [TS]

00:59:15   you're saying that in addition to not [TS]

00:59:16   being afraid to give a very honest [TS]

00:59:18   opinion they they will come in and give [TS]

00:59:20   you an extremely honest opinion may be [TS]

00:59:23   honest to the point of being a little [TS]

00:59:25   bit made up but that's what you're [TS]

00:59:27   facing if you're going to be on [TS]

00:59:28   craigslist if you're gonna if you're [TS]

00:59:29   gonna be in a bay area garden next [TS]

00:59:31   garden next to a pot add a hand job at [TS]

00:59:33   that's your competition you need to have [TS]

00:59:35   something in there that's going to say [TS]

00:59:37   this has the seal of approval from the [TS]

00:59:38   monks we know that this is exactly how [TS]

00:59:41   fucked up you can expect this person to [TS]

00:59:42   be except the problem with that is that [TS]

00:59:45   all relationships are based on lies [TS]

00:59:47   why shouldn't they be based on lies from [TS]

00:59:49   the very GetGo we say that like it's a [TS]

00:59:51   bad thing John [TS]

00:59:52   but but but i think i think at least you [TS]

00:59:54   could do something now for example you [TS]

00:59:55   got the usepa people don't love the [TS]

00:59:57   usepa they say nikal is a known card [TS]

00:59:57   usepa they say nikal is a known card [TS]

01:00:00   tension right so they put in a level of [TS]

01:00:02   safety of like a 10 x 400 x depending on [TS]

01:00:05   how dangerous they think it could be [TS]

01:00:06   based on the weight of evidence right [TS]

01:00:07   they say hey look we're probably being [TS]

01:00:09   safer than we need to be but we don't [TS]

01:00:12   want you pulling coins out of your [TS]

01:00:13   pocket and dying from cancer so we're [TS]

01:00:15   going to keep that in line I think [TS]

01:00:16   that's what we do here we have a margin [TS]

01:00:18   of error based on weight of evidence and [TS]

01:00:21   it's clear you may be way more fucking [TS]

01:00:22   bananas then we can even see from this [TS]

01:00:24   Tribunal we may add an order of [TS]

01:00:26   magnitude to that and I think that's [TS]

01:00:27   reflected in the ad [TS]

01:00:28   I think it's true i think it'll say so [TS]

01:00:30   right there maybe maybe it maybe there's [TS]

01:00:32   a little bad for your bat shit crazy or [TS]

01:00:34   something there's something there that [TS]

01:00:36   gives people a quick indication it's the [TS]

01:00:38   equivalent of I can you can see what i'm [TS]

01:00:39   doing right here but imagine me holding [TS]

01:00:41   my my love my love em holding my left [TS]

01:00:44   hand up vertically and we're making an [TS]

01:00:46   e6 while I point at my hand like the [TS]

01:00:48   other person can't see it [TS]

01:00:50   alright see ya thank you so much for [TS]

01:00:52   describing that I think it I think it [TS]

01:00:55   helped a lot of people including the [TS]

01:00:56   people who are placing the ads but [TS]

01:00:58   here's the here's the thing you show up [TS]

01:00:59   you show up for a date that from [TS]

01:01:02   somebody that you met on an Internet the [TS]

01:01:04   dating service and it turns out that [TS]

01:01:06   person is 75 pounds heavier than the [TS]

01:01:09   heaviest picture that they put on their [TS]

01:01:12   profile just in the party photographed [TS]

01:01:14   1-75 extra pounds of face that they put [TS]

01:01:17   me put a picture of themselves from when [TS]

01:01:20   they were 15 and now they're 40 and they [TS]

01:01:23   and their 80 pounds have here [TS]

01:01:25   excuse me mrs. that Garrett type [TS]

01:01:27   happened and the thing is most of the [TS]

01:01:30   people showing up [TS]

01:01:32   uh on that date have also like they're [TS]

01:01:35   also fatter than that then the fans [TS]

01:01:36   picture on their profile and in some [TS]

01:01:38   cases the it only takes them a second to [TS]

01:01:43   readjust their filters so that they they [TS]

01:01:45   no longer the they you know they say [TS]

01:01:48   reevaluate so that all of a sudden maybe [TS]

01:01:51   they found their perfect mate [TS]

01:01:52   whereas if they had read the if they had [TS]

01:01:54   read the profile and the profile had [TS]

01:01:56   been ruthlessly true they never would [TS]

01:01:58   have made the trip because in their own [TS]

01:02:00   mind they're much better looking and [TS]

01:02:02   much smelter than then they actually are [TS]

01:02:05   now this is what I mean I don't think [TS]

01:02:08   i'm going to just add a great disagree [TS]

01:02:10   because i think you put in addition I do [TS]

01:02:12   not agree to disagree [TS]

01:02:13   ok that about well I never agree to [TS]

01:02:15   disagree neither do i I was there [TS]

01:02:17   disagree or I will agree but i will not [TS]

01:02:19   agree to disagree [TS]

01:02:21   think about the famous example though [TS]

01:02:22   right let's say let's say that you were [TS]

01:02:24   someone who could be loved just [TS]

01:02:27   hypothetically and somebody your family [TS]

01:02:29   says maybe uncle joe says hey I really [TS]

01:02:32   want you to meet Hortense you should [TS]

01:02:35   meet my friend Hortense then you go and [TS]

01:02:37   tell me a little more about Hortense [TS]

01:02:38   says she's very sweet she's got a great [TS]

01:02:40   personality good cook makes around close [TS]

01:02:42   right right i like her so far okay [TS]

01:02:45   because you like to eat [TS]

01:02:46   I do and you know somebody who makes [TS]

01:02:48   their own clothes that they're great to [TS]

01:02:50   have after the zombie apocalypse [TS]

01:02:53   that's a good point you know what I [TS]

01:02:55   gotta rethink this I'm just saying that [TS]

01:02:57   you're not gonna hear a lot of asterisks [TS]

01:02:58   and all that right [TS]

01:03:00   mm I'm just saying now with his name [TS]

01:03:04   uncle Rico or whatever his name is when [TS]

01:03:05   he presents that he might think he's [TS]

01:03:07   doing her a big favor [TS]

01:03:09   I think he's I think as they say he's [TS]

01:03:10   damn her with faint praise right he's [TS]

01:03:12   under selling her right [TS]

01:03:14   I think if he says it's a very heavy [TS]

01:03:15   girl who probably won't break up with [TS]

01:03:17   you you're going to think a little [TS]

01:03:18   harder but maybe saying yes plz but this [TS]

01:03:20   was this depends on how many times [TS]

01:03:22   you've had sex okay that should not be [TS]

01:03:25   right in there you think [TS]

01:03:26   well no you can't say that about [TS]

01:03:27   somebody else but about it if if you're [TS]

01:03:30   talking about me personally or talk [TS]

01:03:32   about a hypothetical guy like your [TS]

01:03:34   hypothetical American guy has had sex [TS]

01:03:37   with what the five different women other [TS]

01:03:42   people you mean five different people [TS]

01:03:44   other than himself [TS]

01:03:45   ok so you know here's he has had sex [TS]

01:03:50   with enough people that he has a sense [TS]

01:03:51   of what it out how it works and he's [TS]

01:03:55   seen five different naked bodies and [TS]

01:03:57   some bodies on the Internet has a [TS]

01:03:59   general picture of how this all goes [TS]

01:04:03   down [TS]

01:04:04   he could see himself in the seat of that [TS]

01:04:05   car exactly so here [TS]

01:04:07   here comes here comes to Hortense and [TS]

01:04:10   she's uh she's anywhere from you know [TS]

01:04:14   being a us very skinny girl to being a [TS]

01:04:18   large girl she's a she's anywhere from [TS]

01:04:20   being a pretty girl to being a [TS]

01:04:22   an interesting-looking person she [TS]

01:04:24   described herself as often she if she's [TS]

01:04:27   the Cece she's a smart girl she speaks a [TS]

01:04:29   little Yiddish time and and so a guy [TS]

01:04:34   sees himself and me and the a likes her [TS]

01:04:36   that she gets his jokes she makes her [TS]

01:04:38   own clothes and he thinks is this going [TS]

01:04:41   to be good at this sex that we're gonna [TS]

01:04:44   have is going to be good and he has that [TS]

01:04:46   he only had sort of a general sense [TS]

01:04:48   impression about what that is even what [TS]

01:04:49   that was even asking himself is this [TS]

01:04:51   going to be good i don't know has even [TS]

01:04:53   as even had good sex before maybe this [TS]

01:04:55   is the best sex of his life he can trust [TS]

01:04:58   that would say duff mckagan right i mean [TS]

01:05:01   tough Kagan's had sex with a lot of [TS]

01:05:03   girls and it's it's the the standard of [TS]

01:05:06   a of what he's you know he's not he's [TS]

01:05:09   probably mean he ducked married so [TS]

01:05:11   that's a bad example but you use a use [TS]

01:05:15   somebody who's who's had a lot of sex in [TS]

01:05:17   there there there there trying to get a [TS]

01:05:19   different they're there they're looking [TS]

01:05:21   for a pheromonal connection [TS]

01:05:24   they're probably not even seen the the [TS]

01:05:26   body type you know what I mean like I [TS]

01:05:29   think ideally would be like that [TS]

01:05:31   fascination with somebody for somebody [TS]

01:05:33   having a perfect body is a is just a way [TS]

01:05:35   station on the way down the road you [TS]

01:05:38   know the only pretty immature people [TS]

01:05:41   focus on perfect bodies so you're saying [TS]

01:05:43   something like like a definite kick and [TS]

01:05:45   I want a circle back to him because I [TS]

01:05:47   understand he's an investor now but I [TS]

01:05:49   you you're saying something like a [TS]

01:05:51   definite Kagan he's going to go into the [TS]

01:05:53   bakery and he's gonna say give me a bear [TS]

01:05:55   claw and they're gonna give a better [TS]

01:05:57   client is going to say thanks he's not [TS]

01:05:59   going to sit there and spent five years [TS]

01:06:00   wondering if that's the right bear claw [TS]

01:06:02   for him he understands a bear claws of [TS]

01:06:03   their cloth right well does diamond [TS]

01:06:06   dolphin dolphin kick in it [TS]

01:06:08   well here's what's going to happen does [TS]

01:06:10   not going to say I haven't seen every [TS]

01:06:14   kind of female body I he's not going to [TS]

01:06:17   marry somebody and say oh what if I [TS]

01:06:20   should have been with a brunette [TS]

01:06:22   you know what I mean like em he he knows [TS]

01:06:25   he knows you know what I'm saying [TS]

01:06:29   huh whereas somebody who's never even [TS]

01:06:32   been with a brunette girl might spend [TS]

01:06:34   the rest of their life thinking oh maybe [TS]

01:06:36   a brunette girl was the girl for me [TS]

01:06:38   oh and this is where you get in my [TS]

01:06:41   wheelhouse here its experience and [TS]

01:06:43   expertise you go around enough you know [TS]

01:06:45   what kind of problems to solve [TS]

01:06:47   you're not getting fixated on these [TS]

01:06:49   fakie barriers you're sitting there [TS]

01:06:50   going I wonder if she'll have satin [TS]

01:06:51   sheets and saying instead of saying I [TS]

01:06:53   wonder if they'll fit through her door [TS]

01:06:54   right no yeah you know maybe not maybe I [TS]

01:06:59   think you've done enough right you like [TS]

01:07:01   it or not you you got in there [TS]

01:07:03   you've been in there and you know that [TS]

01:07:04   those are all implementation details [TS]

01:07:06   implementation details are precisely who [TS]

01:07:09   say for instance i mean the the some of [TS]

01:07:12   the best the best female friends let's [TS]

01:07:16   say the best female companions it in my [TS]

01:07:19   life have ever been across a a a [TS]

01:07:24   spectrum of body types and looks you [TS]

01:07:28   know you wouldn't you wouldn't look at [TS]

01:07:29   them and say that they all look the same [TS]

01:07:32   or that they were all equally endowed or [TS]

01:07:36   equally pretty but but they have the the [TS]

01:07:42   good ones really have differentiated [TS]

01:07:44   themselves from the from the other ones [TS]

01:07:46   and you're sticking with deceit you [TS]

01:07:48   stick your story that you've had a lot [TS]

01:07:49   of these so-called friends [TS]

01:07:51   no not a lot you know what i mean but I [TS]

01:07:55   mean about my old man [TS]

01:07:58   mhm and I'm a veteran of a thousand [TS]

01:08:02   psychic wars [TS]

01:08:03   mm-hmm i spent a lot of time in love [TS]

01:08:06   with lesbians [TS]

01:08:07   I mean yeah I'm not again I'm not new [TS]

01:08:10   you think ever drove any of them to the [TS]

01:08:14   other other bench [TS]

01:08:18   no no no I don't think that's a thing [TS]

01:08:21   mmm I don't think i have a friend that [TS]

01:08:22   did that a couple times but who knows [TS]

01:08:24   maybe he's had bad luck you know right [TS]

01:08:26   there they were headed there you [TS]

01:08:28   probably had somebody to be gay really [TS]

01:08:30   know unless they were already already [TS]

01:08:34   kicking the tires but if they were [TS]

01:08:36   already kicking the tires that you [TS]

01:08:37   didn't it's not like you pushed him over [TS]

01:08:38   the edge I don't think [TS]

01:08:41   adding maybe maybe you could be may be [TS]

01:08:44   could be in a relationship just like you [TS]

01:08:46   know this is not only is this not [TS]

01:08:49   working out really i don't even like [TS]

01:08:51   your parts i don't want to see your [TS]

01:08:56   parts on anybody else I don't want to [TS]

01:08:58   see anybody with your parts [TS]

01:09:00   mm I don't see that happening when parts [TS]

01:09:03   or parts [TS]

01:09:04   hmm yeah you feel that way about guitars [TS]

01:09:07   after a while I do I again I think it's [TS]

01:09:11   a thing it's a maturity thing when [TS]

01:09:13   you're a young person you play whatever [TS]

01:09:15   guitar you can get and a certain point [TS]

01:09:17   you spend a lot of time talking about [TS]

01:09:19   guitars and oh you only will play this [TS]

01:09:22   kind of guitar [TS]

01:09:23   oh it's only this guitar on that guitar [TS]

01:09:25   in this guitar and then a certain point [TS]

01:09:28   when you've been playing guitar for a [TS]

01:09:29   long time you just somebody hands you [TS]

01:09:31   guitar you play the guitar you hehe yeah [TS]

01:09:34   I reach for whatever guitar is closest [TS]

01:09:35   to me and if I'm if I am showing up to a [TS]

01:09:38   gig and somebody says oh I've got a [TS]

01:09:40   guitar you can use an amp you can use I [TS]

01:09:44   don't really even ask that many [TS]

01:09:45   questions about what is going to be [TS]

01:09:47   there I'm like okay I assume that the [TS]

01:09:49   guitar and the amp are going to be [TS]

01:09:51   within the range that I can make it work [TS]

01:09:53   and I don't you know the the years and [TS]

01:09:56   years i said i spent sitting on a chair [TS]

01:09:57   discourse about her about the difference [TS]

01:10:01   between a 55 Telecaster and 56 [TS]

01:10:04   telecaster like I could give a care now [TS]

01:10:08   I don't most of that most of that [TS]

01:10:10   knowledge most of that guitar knowledge [TS]

01:10:12   has sort of just drained out my ear [TS]

01:10:14   because I don't that isn't the [TS]

01:10:17   profession that I decided to pursue mhm [TS]

01:10:19   the guy who sits on a chair and [TS]

01:10:21   appraises your guitar and and I spent [TS]

01:10:26   all I spent so many years working in [TS]

01:10:28   guitar stores where a guy would come in [TS]

01:10:30   and say yeah you know I bought this 56 [TS]

01:10:33   strap but it's really not the tone [TS]

01:10:35   I've been playing it for about six [TS]

01:10:36   months showing up at own i'm looking for [TS]

01:10:38   and I think I want to trade it for a 55 [TS]

01:10:40   les paul goldtop and both of these [TS]

01:10:44   guitars even then were [TS]

01:10:46   twenty-five-thousand-dollar 30,000 our [TS]

01:10:49   guitars this is you know 15 years ago [TS]

01:10:51   now they're been off the charts with [TS]

01:10:54   these guitars cons but at the time they [TS]

01:10:55   were still expensive and i'm looking at [TS]

01:10:57   this guy like wow you got a 56 strat and [TS]

01:11:02   it didn't have the tone you were looking [TS]

01:11:03   for right you must be a guitar wizard [TS]

01:11:08   you must be a scientist of guitar sound [TS]

01:11:10   like a little read Zappa level of picky [TS]

01:11:13   absolutely like it like totally as Abba [TS]

01:11:16   right somebody that's just like I can't [TS]

01:11:18   get that this guitar has a notch at 14 [TS]

01:11:21   Hertz or whatever and I just and I can't [TS]

01:11:24   even bear to hear it and so I would take [TS]

01:11:26   this stratocaster out of his hands [TS]

01:11:28   perfect strategy a tweet case and it go [TS]

01:11:31   get this gold top out of the case and [TS]

01:11:33   handed to him any plug into an ambien [TS]

01:11:36   and it he who would seriously these guys [TS]

01:11:39   would play smoke on the water you know [TS]

01:11:41   and they even made play smoke on the [TS]

01:11:43   water without any so like okay and err [TS]

01:11:46   err err err sounds good man that's [TS]

01:11:57   awesome that's the one for me and they [TS]

01:11:59   would trade this you know they trade [TS]

01:12:00   this guitar in for the other guitar they [TS]

01:12:02   put an extra five grand on the table or [TS]

01:12:04   something like that and out they go [TS]

01:12:05   happy as can be with this guitar that [TS]

01:12:07   has the tone they're looking for and I [TS]

01:12:10   swear to you I it it burned out the the [TS]

01:12:16   part of my brain that believed that tone [TS]

01:12:19   was even a thing like it burn it burn [TS]

01:12:22   that out of me when I was like you know [TS]

01:12:24   screw you [TS]

01:12:26   good Kurt Cobain play univox above $75 [TS]

01:12:30   univox through a boss ds-1 and that is [TS]

01:12:34   like I can't think of anybody who would [TS]

01:12:37   play through that stuff it's so shitty [TS]

01:12:40   and yet [TS]

01:12:42   he's like going out guitar tone so I I [TS]

01:12:46   stopped caring and right now i would get [TS]

01:12:48   if there's anybody listen to this that [TS]

01:12:49   wants to send me a frequent our home [TS]

01:12:51   plate up later at my next show I swear [TS]

01:12:53   to you that's why they're like women [TS]

01:12:55   exactly it right exactly analogous to my [TS]

01:13:01   relationships with women you play enough [TS]

01:13:03   yet good at the basics the fundamentals [TS]

01:13:05   you practice a lot then you start really [TS]

01:13:08   caring what they look like and what [TS]

01:13:09   their pedigrees and then and then after [TS]

01:13:12   a while any one will do if there's if [TS]

01:13:15   there's somebody listening to this [TS]

01:13:16   podcast who wants to thank you send you [TS]

01:13:19   a woman who is a woman or wants to send [TS]

01:13:21   a woman that's great i will player at my [TS]

01:13:24   next show [TS]

01:13:25   but you do have to be up early in the [TS]

01:13:26   morning so you promised me that he [TS]

01:13:29   should probably go huh well gotta you [TS]

01:13:36   know I've got a kind of a compound now [TS]

01:13:38   so haha make it scream all you want [TS]

01:13:41   we're much more I can hear there's a guy [TS]

01:13:44   i have a there's a whole area where the [TS]

01:13:47   single women can live out by the barn [TS]

01:13:50   that McCain's an investor now don't you [TS]

01:13:54   know I've gotta know Duff yeah you [TS]

01:13:56   talked about him you're you're like [TS]

01:13:58   girls with him well you know it turns [TS]

01:13:59   out were related [TS]

01:14:01   I had to I had to refer to him in this [TS]

01:14:03   podcast in a way that he would that in [TS]

01:14:05   any way he would take a as a [TS]

01:14:08   disparagement because I think he's an [TS]

01:14:10   amazing guy and I only reference him [TS]

01:14:12   because I feel like he has known a lot [TS]

01:14:15   of women and now is happily married so [TS]

01:14:17   in that sense that Duff Beer on the [TS]

01:14:20   simpsons is named after him i just [TS]

01:14:21   learned is that right hmmm but he's a [TS]

01:14:25   he's a longtime Seattle guy and it turns [TS]

01:14:27   out the were cousins [TS]

01:14:28   we just found this out the other day did [TS]

01:14:30   I tell the story already know we're at a [TS]

01:14:32   slayer concert and backstage the Slayer [TS]

01:14:36   concert and they were standing around [TS]

01:14:37   here no you know what you're not you're [TS]

01:14:39   actually your generations of property [TS]

01:14:42   Robert Evans up like a slash rustler [TS]

01:14:47   show and and this kid is stand there and [TS]

01:14:50   he's like are you John Roderick and I [TS]

01:14:51   said yeah and he said oh I'm I'm [TS]

01:14:53   I'm like your step nephew or something [TS]

01:14:56   like that and I said really he said yeah [TS]

01:14:59   my mom is married to the brother of the [TS]

01:15:02   sister of your brother and sister of [TS]

01:15:05   your brother's life and Duff is standing [TS]

01:15:09   there and he turns out he goes what and [TS]

01:15:11   and it turns out the kid is Duff's [TS]

01:15:13   nephew I'm tough says we're related [TS]

01:15:17   and I said I guess we are related we [TS]

01:15:20   stood there and worked it out where like [TS]

01:15:21   cousins uncles of this kid and yeah so [TS]

01:15:28   now we're now the bond is it that much [TS]

01:15:30   stronger [TS]

01:15:31   this is a an excerpt from an article [TS]

01:15:34   last week in bloomberg businessweek in [TS]

01:15:38   his autobiography it's so easy and other [TS]

01:15:40   lies which is coming out very soon [TS]

01:15:42   mckagan 47 explains how he stopped his [TS]

01:15:45   gallon of vodka a day habit by switching [TS]

01:15:47   to 10 bottles of wine how we drank his [TS]

01:15:49   own vomit because it had alcohol in it [TS]

01:15:50   how he used cocaine just so he could [TS]

01:15:52   drink more [TS]

01:15:53   how you drank so much beer at one point [TS]

01:15:55   that guns and roses lead singer Axl Rose [TS]

01:15:57   introduced him as the king of beers and [TS]

01:15:59   appreciate the simpsons ass-kickin the [TS]

01:16:01   show's beer after him how his pancreas [TS]

01:16:03   basically exploded causing third-degree [TS]

01:16:05   burns on his other internal organs and [TS]

01:16:08   then goes on to say that he actually is [TS]

01:16:09   one of the very few people in the entire [TS]

01:16:11   music industry that was not ripped off [TS]

01:16:12   by somebody and how invested it really [TS]

01:16:14   well it's something very interesting [TS]

01:16:15   book [TS]

01:16:16   well the thing that you don't realize [TS]

01:16:18   about duff mckagan because you look at [TS]

01:16:19   those original definite Kagan wasn't [TS]

01:16:21   guns and roses we should mention yeah [TS]

01:16:22   you look at those pictures of guns and [TS]

01:16:23   roses and even the earliest pictures of [TS]

01:16:26   guns and roses Duff already looks like [TS]

01:16:29   he's really really wasted even in the [TS]

01:16:32   first promo photos really he's already [TS]

01:16:34   living the life way way before everybody [TS]

01:16:37   else is like dying of overdoses are [TS]

01:16:40   having strokes or whatever and and [TS]

01:16:42   nobody in Guns N Roses died of an [TS]

01:16:43   overdose but there's a lot of there's a [TS]

01:16:45   lot of drugs but stuff is really hitting [TS]

01:16:47   it hard from the style yeah but he also [TS]

01:16:50   was one of the main songwriters like he [TS]

01:16:54   wrote the sweet child of mine and stuff [TS]

01:16:57   like that he's getting that he's got a [TS]

01:16:58   credit on that he's the bass player but [TS]

01:17:01   he was writing tune [TS]

01:17:03   and that's the key to success in rock [TS]

01:17:05   absolutely you're writing some tunes and [TS]

01:17:08   he's writing some he was writing some [TS]

01:17:10   solid gold guns and roses material [TS]

01:17:13   no doubt about it so you know he's a [TS]

01:17:17   he's a triple threat [TS]

01:17:19   so he says he's a good-looking guy well [TS]

01:17:22   and right now [TS]

01:17:23   pancreas have exploded or no he is a [TS]

01:17:27   reason he's in the shape of his life [TS]

01:17:30   yeah it's all here in the book wow look [TS]

01:17:31   at him that's amazing [TS]

01:17:33   you don't mean like look if your [TS]

01:17:35   pancreas explodes yeah that's not we're [TS]

01:17:37   not kidding around right i mean that's a [TS]

01:17:39   serious thing you're gonna have to get [TS]

01:17:41   your guys back up back up back up back [TS]

01:17:42   your workload at that point you're gonna [TS]

01:17:45   have to you have to do something you [TS]

01:17:46   have to make some kind of lifestyle [TS]

01:17:48   change even if it's just that you get a [TS]

01:17:50   mechanical pancreas [TS]

01:17:52   can you do that the problem of the [TS]

01:17:54   mechanical pancreas particularly for [TS]

01:17:56   recording artist as you get the [TS]

01:17:57   microphones pick it up to make the kind [TS]

01:17:59   of like I like a 5k buzz it so there's a [TS]

01:18:03   little bit of you know 40 cycle hum so [TS]

01:18:08   you don't want to mechanical pancreas if [TS]

01:18:09   you're going to do a lot of studio work [TS]

01:18:11   get isolated you have to isolate you [TS]

01:18:13   have the pancreas isolation booth [TS]

01:18:16   standard standard a booth where the is [TS]

01:18:19   there a box from your nipples to your [TS]

01:18:21   knees but but he has you know talk about [TS]

01:18:28   a survivor [TS]

01:18:29   yeah and yeah and the thing about deaf [TS]

01:18:30   ears the other thing I mean youyou think [TS]

01:18:32   about these big rock guys like Vince [TS]

01:18:34   Neil you don't get the sense that Vince [TS]

01:18:36   meal can do and can do very complicated [TS]

01:18:41   arithmetic right i mean sure like 14 [TS]

01:18:46   plus 11 sure I bet Vince Neil could [TS]

01:18:49   handle that I think he hit to figure out [TS]

01:18:51   a tip like a hundred and seventy-four + [TS]

01:18:53   250 I think Vince Neil would he'd be [TS]

01:18:58   struggling but stuff does the smart guy [TS]

01:19:02   he's articulate he's a you know he's a [TS]

01:19:05   writer I'm a tremendous respect for him [TS]

01:19:07   I bet he didn't do good in school hey [TS]

01:19:09   you have [TS]

01:19:09   at factoid he was a drunk he was one of [TS]

01:19:12   the drivers for the fastbacks that's [TS]

01:19:13   right the first drummer from get out of [TS]

01:19:15   here I've ever seen that infographic [TS]

01:19:16   that table they've got no setup to be on [TS]

01:19:19   our own robot they've got a whole page [TS]

01:19:22   of people who was the drummer in the [TS]

01:19:24   fastbacks when I'm sure it's very [TS]

01:19:26   complicated at least two of those [TS]

01:19:29   drummers have played in the long winters [TS]

01:19:31   rusty now what's the guy's name [TS]

01:19:34   well we've had so Jason Finn was in the [TS]

01:19:37   fastback see the one with the floppy [TS]

01:19:38   symbols [TS]

01:19:40   still there's help video who is that no [TS]

01:19:42   I think that's probably what Mike [TS]

01:19:44   Musburger I got this transfer and also [TS]

01:19:47   played along where most burger playing [TS]

01:19:49   the fastbacks for a long time [TS]

01:19:50   Musburger and Finn you know they have a [TS]

01:19:52   they have a long-standing rivalry really [TS]

01:19:55   and because they're being go to Seattle [TS]

01:19:58   drummers have known each other for years [TS]

01:20:00   and and the time that they were both in [TS]

01:20:04   the fastbacks is it you know that's [TS]

01:20:06   where their rivalry really really [TS]

01:20:09   reached its its Apogee because they're [TS]

01:20:13   always like I said York dick Sargent [TS]

01:20:16   type situation exactly who's the better [TS]

01:20:18   who's the better man on the throne I [TS]

01:20:22   have to reserve judgment you i would say [TS]

01:20:24   it's a small town [TS]

01:20:25   yeah i mean that the answer is clear but [TS]

01:20:27   i have to have to recuse myself Pixar's [TS]

01:20:33   noqday shares getting my ass kicked [TS]

01:20:38   ya welcome back to guitars and amps [TS]

01:20:39   there's a lot to talk about [TS]

01:20:42   I'm sitting in a room right now full of [TS]

01:20:44   guitars names have a guitar right here [TS]

01:20:46   the big that the gibson company just [TS]

01:20:48   gave me a couple weeks ago [TS]

01:20:50   they're going out of business aren't [TS]

01:20:51   they who said that [TS]

01:20:53   heard they're an awful shape that's open [TS]

01:20:56   to know what is that as a drop d [TS]

01:20:59   no this is a [TS]

01:21:01   [Music] [TS]

01:21:02   this is open see you tune down to an [TS]

01:21:06   open sea [TS]

01:21:09   yeah what are you into my god [TS]

01:21:22   oh that's a nice harmonic yeah that's a [TS]

01:21:28   great cord i mean it's it's not a great [TS]

01:21:30   acoustic guitar tuning because it's it's [TS]

01:21:35   pretty low [TS]

01:21:35   the strings are pretty sloppy but it's a [TS]

01:21:38   break from recording you got me sold on [TS]

01:21:42   my favorite [TS]

01:21:43   well my third favorite guitar chord my [TS]

01:21:47   favorite guitar chord as you know is a [TS]

01:21:49   a.d with a netted a sharp [TS]

01:21:52   yeah you like that 1i know and you know [TS]

01:21:58   I i always like to cheat you know come [TS]

01:21:59   to city guy you you're just you got me [TS]

01:22:02   into this is the sea with the added [TS]

01:22:05   loach e right so that's the magic they [TS]

01:22:08   start out you got a regular old you do [TS]

01:22:10   this [TS]

01:22:11   that's magic you do that too much effect [TS]

01:22:14   all that yet but the g down there it [TS]

01:22:16   said on huh [TS]

01:22:19   and it'll be a breeze do that on that [TS]

01:22:20   song yeah yeah that that the g on the on [TS]

01:22:25   the top of the seeds a changes [TS]

01:22:27   everything you know what kids if you're [TS]

01:22:29   picking up guitar play everything in the [TS]

01:22:31   key of G and then and then use that C [TS]

01:22:33   and then when you do the g I think you [TS]

01:22:35   add the little extra d on the B string [TS]

01:22:37   ok i do dad yep that's a bit bulky thing [TS]

01:22:41   yeah that's the thing too that if you [TS]

01:22:42   wanted really chime the just just get it [TS]

01:22:45   really chime in if you have a [TS]

01:22:46   Rickenbacker or want to sound like a [TS]

01:22:48   burger Barker add that little D on the B [TS]

01:22:52   include reckon backers in your it [TS]

01:22:54   doesn't really matter about guitars [TS]

01:22:55   argument well see here's the thing i [TS]

01:22:57   have this rickenbacker for years it was [TS]

01:23:00   my sound and it truly what it does it [TS]

01:23:02   did have a very unique sound and no i [TS]

01:23:06   couldn't find another guitar to [TS]

01:23:07   duplicate this sound and the guitar you [TS]

01:23:10   know this is a 67 rickenbacker had been [TS]

01:23:13   broken and glued together a half a dozen [TS]

01:23:15   times it had Gibbs and pickups and it's [TS]

01:23:18   at that the 330 what is it [TS]

01:23:20   it was a 360 360 sorry and you know get [TS]

01:23:25   what you you couldn't you couldn't build [TS]

01:23:27   this guitar [TS]

01:23:28   it was a unique unique item [TS]

01:23:32   and a certain point I just couldn't take [TS]

01:23:34   it on the road anymore I was it was it [TS]

01:23:36   was too it was too important to me and I [TS]

01:23:41   had to go about finding how to make that [TS]

01:23:43   tone how to approximate that tone with [TS]

01:23:48   other guitars I when I finally started [TS]

01:23:51   approximating the tone then I realized [TS]

01:23:54   oh you can you can make guitars sound [TS]

01:23:56   you can make them sound pretty good [TS]

01:24:00   they don't have to be great guitars you [TS]

01:24:02   can make them sound pretty good i mean [TS]

01:24:04   the we're talking about the top four [TS]

01:24:07   percent of the tone but the but [TS]

01:24:11   ninety-six percent of the tone you can [TS]

01:24:13   get it there [TS]

01:24:14   you know you get an amp you get up you [TS]

01:24:17   mess with the knobs mess with the knobs [TS]

01:24:20   on the guitar you can get there [TS]

01:24:22   yeah yeah i mean like you're playing [TS]

01:24:23   like you but one he played in these [TS]

01:24:25   places with all this it was smoke and [TS]

01:24:27   weird humidity and the sound guys coked [TS]

01:24:30   up and it just seems like there's so [TS]

01:24:31   many factors you know what the biggest [TS]

01:24:34   factor of all is that whatever your [TS]

01:24:36   guitar tone is ultimately the sound guys [TS]

01:24:39   going to put another beer soaked sm57 in [TS]

01:24:42   front of your hand and he's gonna run [TS]

01:24:45   that sm57 through a mackie 16-channel [TS]

01:24:49   bored through a couple of 300 watt power [TS]

01:24:54   amps that he bought off craigslist [TS]

01:24:55   sweeten it up a little bit of slap back [TS]

01:24:58   she's gonna put it he's going to put a [TS]

01:25:00   little lexicon slap back on it and he's [TS]

01:25:02   gonna run it out into his Yamaha PA and [TS]

01:25:07   whatever do you mean you could be [TS]

01:25:09   playing through a [TS]

01:25:10   two-hundred-thousand-dollar guitar rig [TS]

01:25:12   but except for the five guys that are [TS]

01:25:15   standing right in front of your am [TS]

01:25:17   everybody else is hearing it through a [TS]

01:25:19   through such a fucked up signal chain [TS]

01:25:22   that I you know believe me if you if you [TS]

01:25:25   were playing a pv if you're planning [TS]

01:25:27   your playing a pv guitar through a pv [TS]

01:25:29   bandit with the with the chorus button [TS]

01:25:32   pushed in but it wouldn't sound any [TS]

01:25:33   better what an advantage it [TS]

01:25:36   No [TS]

01:25:37   my friend Mike just had a guy custom [TS]

01:25:44   make him a gold top Flying V but a [TS]

01:25:48   fretless flying well it's the girls just [TS]

01:25:50   pearl jam boy [TS]

01:25:52   no no okay mica mica is he's just a he's [TS]

01:25:56   just a ding-dong Seattle ding-dong [TS]

01:25:58   but he's got this he actually used to be [TS]

01:26:01   in the long winters 20 that my Squires [TS]

01:26:04   all sure fretless Flying V and I look at [TS]

01:26:08   my go up front was wanting to be what [TS]

01:26:11   the hell're friendless six-string guitar [TS]

01:26:13   the hell are you gonna do with that [TS]

01:26:15   means like what do you mean what am I [TS]

01:26:16   gonna do that it's the coolest thing [TS]

01:26:18   ever and it's it's just a kind of [TS]

01:26:21   insanity is restless kind of the [TS]

01:26:23   opposite of scallops you think I mean I [TS]

01:26:27   got you have amazing internation for [TS]

01:26:29   this is the opposite of good [TS]

01:26:31   that's true like it in a perfect world [TS]

01:26:34   you would I mean there are guys who can [TS]

01:26:37   play the frontlines guitar and it sounds [TS]

01:26:38   like I've never I'm sorry John I've [TS]

01:26:40   never heard of a fretless guitar ads you [TS]

01:26:42   know you can play a front any instrument [TS]

01:26:44   can be friendless by trumping if you [TS]

01:26:46   have incredible intonation your [TS]

01:26:48   intonation it would have to be [TS]

01:26:49   completely out of control [TS]

01:26:51   hi how are you going to play a you can [TS]

01:26:52   play a barre chord on I got you would I [TS]

01:26:55   don't think you would just doing spoolie [TS]

01:26:57   goofy solos with lots of like like Vicki [TS]

01:26:59   slidy bends well batter you could play [TS]

01:27:01   like little too little to note chords [TS]

01:27:04   little three note chords even you could [TS]

01:27:05   keep that stuff [TS]

01:27:06   it sounds very very flexible it's like [TS]

01:27:09   playing the violin and how do people do [TS]

01:27:11   it [TS]

01:27:11   yeah I pick up a violin and and played [TS]

01:27:14   it sounds like sounds like somebody's [TS]

01:27:16   killing goats with a chainsaw psychos [TS]

01:27:17   ooh key method for this extreme have to [TS]

01:27:19   call the suzuki that we learn to count [TS]

01:27:21   on your fingers so that's the second [TS]

01:27:23   suzuki reference i've heard in as many [TS]

01:27:24   days and I I don't think it's like it's [TS]

01:27:29   like Hooked on Phonics right for music [TS]

01:27:31   uh i think so or maybe like the Roy [TS]

01:27:35   Clark easy guitar or the thing where you [TS]

01:27:37   put the stickers on the piano [TS]

01:27:39   I'm not entirely sure I my want to do [TS]

01:27:42   stuff in the garage band which you know [TS]

01:27:44   is a musical instrument [TS]

01:27:45   I'm on blame lost on that front l'espace [TS]

01:27:47   it's just it's a mess different skills [TS]

01:27:49   base I [TS]

01:27:50   I really appreciate I was in a band with [TS]

01:27:52   a friendless bass player and it's a very [TS]

01:27:56   different sound I mean it used [TS]

01:27:57   incorrectly it sounds like a dream of [TS]

01:28:00   the blue turtles like fretless bass used [TS]

01:28:03   use poorly is the worst is the worst [TS]

01:28:09   challenge activists aureus the late [TS]

01:28:11   great Jack upper stories [TS]

01:28:13   Pino Palladino there are several people [TS]

01:28:15   that can rock the fretless bass old [TS]

01:28:17   friends based in the hands of a master [TS]

01:28:21   yeah just want Joni Mitchell song jaco [TS]

01:28:22   pastorius place on that's just ungodly [TS]

01:28:24   but it just it just seems like you know [TS]

01:28:26   when what you want to just get out once [TS]

01:28:28   you get 12 string friend let's go ahead [TS]

01:28:29   go nuts [TS]

01:28:30   why not don't know if you wanna join [TS]

01:28:32   three bad science freak base why don't [TS]

01:28:35   you go ahead and just do that it goes it [TS]

01:28:38   it it trends over into that natalie [TS]

01:28:40   merchant is great [TS]

01:28:42   yes just like this is not music for this [TS]

01:28:45   is not the music for me this is there [TS]

01:28:48   like michael hedges like I like michael [TS]

01:28:49   hedges right [TS]

01:28:51   I you know the late michael hedges [TS]

01:28:52   amazing guitar player but what you can [TS]

01:28:54   you can really get a little too much [TS]

01:28:56   fretless bass on something you can get a [TS]

01:28:58   lot too much can get so much friendless [TS]

01:29:00   based on your on a song that it will [TS]

01:29:02   actually cause you to get your period is [TS]

01:29:06   that right yeah I've heard you say you [TS]

01:29:07   know create kalbi says it'll actually [TS]

01:29:09   literally it'll literally slide off the [TS]

01:29:11   record fall right off there trying to [TS]

01:29:14   master the cats already on the floor at [TS]

01:29:16   the cottage as possible [TS]

01:29:17   [Music] [TS]