Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is

00:00:02 ◼   ► brought to you by Casper Casper is an

00:00:04 ◼   ► online retailer of premium mattresses

00:00:06 ◼   ► that you can get delivered to your door

00:00:08 ◼   ► for a fraction of the price that you pay

00:00:09 ◼   ► in stores you can use the offer code

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00:00:13 ◼   ► purchase please go and visit Casper calm

00:00:16 ◼   ► / supertrain

00:00:17 ◼   ► [Music]

00:00:22 ◼   ► hello hi John hi Marilyn

00:00:26 ◼   ► how's it going mm come a little bit sick

00:00:32 ◼   ► yeah you have a sore throat right yeah

00:00:36 ◼   ► but now it's not a sort of wheaton oh

00:00:39 ◼   ► the chocolate croissant

00:00:44 ◼   ► okay he's gone dolorous i'm a little

00:00:48 ◼   ► dollar at all don't be dolorous come on

00:00:50 ◼   ► you know it's a little bit everything

00:00:52 ◼   ► you know

00:00:53 ◼   ► no no no no dollar oh I spy was up very

00:00:57 ◼   ► late last night hmm

00:01:00 ◼   ► it's a long story so the day before this

00:01:03 ◼   ► is the place for a long story

00:01:04 ◼   ► this is the home you look forward to

00:01:08 ◼   ► this this is this is your eyes is your

00:01:10 ◼   ► life raft

00:01:10 ◼   ► it's a long story place pine em so I

00:01:15 ◼   ► years ago when i moved into my house the

00:01:19 ◼   ► people that had fixed it up

00:01:23 ◼   ► I've talked about this they did it did a

00:01:26 ◼   ► terrible job

00:01:26 ◼   ► yeah maybe something they made some

00:01:29 ◼   ► pretty weird decisions that did not have

00:01:31 ◼   ► the long view in mind

00:01:32 ◼   ► that's right yeah they didn't think to

00:01:34 ◼   ► put in a monk hole but maybe some weird

00:01:36 ◼   ► like recessed lighting or something like

00:01:37 ◼   ► that

00:01:38 ◼   ► there's no fireman's pole oh come on

00:01:41 ◼   ► yeah how about your bookshelves mean

00:01:43 ◼   ► when you move your bookshelf for you you

00:01:45 ◼   ► pull back the head on your Shakespeare

00:01:46 ◼   ► their switches is there anything that

00:01:48 ◼   ► that affords you uh an unseen location

00:01:51 ◼   ► in the house

00:01:51 ◼   ► not a one how do not put that at the top

00:01:54 ◼   ► of the way but that's not true there are

00:01:56 ◼   ► two hidden doors but here's the thing if

00:01:58 ◼   ► you're if you're gonna I mean if you're

00:02:00 ◼   ► gonna make changes to your house you

00:02:01 ◼   ► really should begin by making sure that

00:02:03 ◼   ► you have cool hidden panels doorways and

00:02:05 ◼   ► tunnels that it's not everything you do

00:02:07 ◼   ► after that the wiring the plumbing where

00:02:10 ◼   ► you put the new half bath it's all gonna

00:02:12 ◼   ► be governed by where the corridors are

00:02:13 ◼   ► because you got new corridors now Percy

00:02:15 ◼   ► small huh

00:02:16 ◼   ► when you that's one of the things that

00:02:19 ◼   ► infuriates me the most about quantum of

00:02:22 ◼   ► solace or whatever the fuck that movie

00:02:24 ◼   ► was mr. my colon yeah where they've got

00:02:27 ◼   ► their he's got this beautiful house in

00:02:29 ◼   ► the middle of nowhere and he's got this

00:02:30 ◼   ► amazing escape

00:02:33 ◼   ► a tunnel next to the fireplace and it

00:02:35 ◼   ► goes down in with this amazing warren of

00:02:38 ◼   ► escape rooms and then its never fully

00:02:43 ◼   ► covered in the movie but you go out a

00:02:46 ◼   ► tunnel and then it just sort of appears

00:02:49 ◼   ► in the yard and there's no like it

00:02:52 ◼   ► because it's like a big field for ya

00:02:54 ◼   ► easily spotted well that yeah right it

00:02:56 ◼   ► doesn't go

00:02:57 ◼   ► it just goes out into the septic field

00:03:00 ◼   ► but also it's never clear in the movie

00:03:03 ◼   ► like they never show the last hundred

00:03:05 ◼   ► yards like you get down they there's a

00:03:10 ◼   ► scene where they go down and then there

00:03:11 ◼   ► in the very night the the what it looks

00:03:14 ◼   ► like the basement

00:03:15 ◼   ► yeah and then the next shot is a bit of

00:03:20 ◼   ► a of them or him for poking his head up

00:03:25 ◼   ► out of the grass like a like a good

00:03:27 ◼   ► grass or is it a shed I might be

00:03:29 ◼   ► completing this with another movie I

00:03:30 ◼   ► don't think there's a shed I think he

00:03:32 ◼   ► just pops up in the middle of the grass

00:03:34 ◼   ► is really poorly thought out but there's

00:03:36 ◼   ► no door or anything there's no you know

00:03:38 ◼   ► that's a hundred yards or more 300 yards

00:03:43 ◼   ► he's really out there in the yard right

00:03:44 ◼   ► it's a long way to go and and my

00:03:48 ◼   ► question is obviously is that whole is

00:03:54 ◼   ► that whole distance like a like a stone

00:03:57 ◼   ► lined quarter that you can stand up in

00:03:59 ◼   ► and then you get to the end and they're

00:04:01 ◼   ► just like a little it's like you push

00:04:03 ◼   ► some grass a party it was like a matter

00:04:05 ◼   ► of yes it feels like a metaphor you put

00:04:08 ◼   ► all this care into the tunnel that

00:04:09 ◼   ► didn't need to be that nice and the end

00:04:11 ◼   ► we ended you could at least have like

00:04:12 ◼   ► say like a look at you get Hogan's

00:04:13 ◼   ► Heroes where where like the dog in the

00:04:16 ◼   ► dog house goes up ahead

00:04:18 ◼   ► Boop mi been labelled LeBeau see your

00:04:23 ◼   ► god that's a really good point if you

00:04:24 ◼   ► did it all go

00:04:25 ◼   ► yeah or a well or a chapel or some other

00:04:30 ◼   ► thing that you pop out you don't just

00:04:33 ◼   ► pop out in the graph somewhere an easy

00:04:35 ◼   ► shot

00:04:36 ◼   ► yeah exactly you know the snipers

00:04:39 ◼   ► pointed at the house all the sniper has

00:04:41 ◼   ► to do is just turn hundred eighty

00:04:43 ◼   ► degrees right

00:04:44 ◼   ► anyway so that so my house was equipped

00:04:48 ◼   ► with what is described at the hardware

00:04:52 ◼   ► store as decorator switches which are

00:04:56 ◼   ► switches light switches that are both

00:05:02 ◼   ► ugly and unusable

00:05:05 ◼   ► ok they don't look like white switches

00:05:07 ◼   ► they look like something else and there

00:05:11 ◼   ► they were dimmer switches just like the

00:05:14 ◼   ► Stella we got the theater lighting

00:05:15 ◼   ► effect

00:05:16 ◼   ► mhm those are very satisfying hit no the

00:05:20 ◼   ► world they don't the thing is these

00:05:22 ◼   ► don't even have a clique because they

00:05:24 ◼   ► are touch-sensitive yeah so you put your

00:05:27 ◼   ► hand on it and you roll your fingers up

00:05:30 ◼   ► at like you're on some kind of like

00:05:32 ◼   ► you're playing an eighties keyboard and

00:05:35 ◼   ► you have like a sensitivity string a

00:05:37 ◼   ► four-dimensional switch

00:05:38 ◼   ► yeah it's like it there but they don't

00:05:43 ◼   ► work so you walk in the house and you're

00:05:45 ◼   ► like lights on and the lights like they

00:05:48 ◼   ► sometimes don't respond to your touch

00:05:50 ◼   ► they sometimes respect you know they

00:05:52 ◼   ► sometimes go all the way on and then all

00:05:53 ◼   ► the way off immediately like a beautiful

00:05:54 ◼   ► woman that's so frustrating jen well so

00:06:00 ◼   ► when I first moved in I was like this

00:06:02 ◼   ► will not stand and I took two of them

00:06:04 ◼   ► out and i put in

00:06:06 ◼   ► normal what what are they look like

00:06:10 ◼   ► lights which is normal like looking

00:06:12 ◼   ► switches but they are dimmers right so

00:06:16 ◼   ► you move the little lever instead of

00:06:18 ◼   ► going flick and the light is on you move

00:06:19 ◼   ► the little lever and the light goes off

00:06:21 ◼   ► i thought that was a good you know like

00:06:25 ◼   ► a nice balance

00:06:27 ◼   ► dimmers have their place and I found a

00:06:33 ◼   ► thousand-watt switches which wow big

00:06:39 ◼   ► switches at the time with these dinners

00:06:41 ◼   ► on them and I put them in

00:06:43 ◼   ► well the other day that was ten years

00:06:45 ◼   ► ago when I bought this house the other

00:06:47 ◼   ► day I walked in the kitchen i turned the

00:06:49 ◼   ► dimmer down almost all the way to the

00:06:51 ◼   ► bottom and the switch went

00:06:53 ◼   ► oh no and I was like 20 no so I set

00:06:59 ◼   ► their monkey with it

00:07:01 ◼   ► can I get it to do it again you know

00:07:03 ◼   ► that's the number one thing you do when

00:07:04 ◼   ► you get to replicate the air

00:07:06 ◼   ► yeah and yes you can get it to do it

00:07:08 ◼   ► again

00:07:09 ◼   ► in fact it every time now and so and

00:07:13 ◼   ► then the room smelled with the smell of

00:07:15 ◼   ► smoke like that smell in the nineteen

00:07:18 ◼   ► seventies when you put too much ice in a

00:07:19 ◼   ► blender boy

00:07:21 ◼   ► oh you get there look at that engine

00:07:22 ◼   ► working hard smell I don't like that so

00:07:24 ◼   ► no it's bad it's really bad when it's

00:07:27 ◼   ► coming from your light switches yes so I

00:07:30 ◼   ► said this is a bad this is particularly

00:07:32 ◼   ► bad because the dimmer is the thing that

00:07:36 ◼   ► you're gonna you're gonna put all the

00:07:39 ◼   ► way down and somebody's going to do it

00:07:41 ◼   ► and walk away and this thing is going to

00:07:43 ◼   ► be sitting there shorting that's going

00:07:45 ◼   ► to start firing the wall so I was like I

00:07:47 ◼   ► gotta do something about this

00:07:48 ◼   ► immediately i'm sick i don't want to do

00:07:49 ◼   ► anything it's cold i went to the

00:07:54 ◼   ► hardware store they don't sell thousand

00:07:56 ◼   ► watts which is anymore

00:07:57 ◼   ► the guy at the hardware store was like

00:07:59 ◼   ► what there's never been such a thing as

00:08:02 ◼   ► they always do at a hardware store where

00:08:04 ◼   ► did you get these alternate fax them

00:08:07 ◼   ► that's right and I'm like I bottom here

00:08:09 ◼   ► at this very hardware store 10 years ago

00:08:11 ◼   ► oh wow 10 years ago

00:08:14 ◼   ► yeah 10 years itself what's the life

00:08:16 ◼   ► expectancy on these things if this look

00:08:19 ◼   ► at me and can remember things I

00:08:20 ◼   ► supposedly but yeah yeah that's right

00:08:23 ◼   ► i'm mr. 10 years ago

00:08:25 ◼   ► ok anyway so i bought some new switches

00:08:29 ◼   ► and then I figured you know what I'm

00:08:31 ◼   ► just gonna change all the switches in

00:08:33 ◼   ► the house because that's the kind of

00:08:34 ◼   ► thinker i am well you're thinking big

00:08:36 ◼   ► big scale here it is

00:08:38 ◼   ► BYE MOM mass so i bought a bunch of

00:08:42 ◼   ► switches and then I'm sitting in the

00:08:44 ◼   ► house to change in all these switches

00:08:47 ◼   ► and I'm a little bit of a you know I'm

00:08:51 ◼   ► little lackadaisical so so I'm i made an

00:08:55 ◼   ► error one point and I caused because

00:08:57 ◼   ► some parking

00:09:00 ◼   ► no it's not good so I'm sorry I should

00:09:03 ◼   ► have asked you this earlier there's all

00:09:05 ◼   ► kinds of things in my house that I keep

00:09:06 ◼   ► meaning to fix and a lot of my put off

00:09:08 ◼   ► because they only got to shut off the

00:09:10 ◼   ► power before i do anything that is your

00:09:12 ◼   ► power off while your monkey in with the

00:09:14 ◼   ► the arcing switches yeah the powers off

00:09:16 ◼   ► but I turned I went down like I had I

00:09:19 ◼   ► had things wired and I was like I should

00:09:23 ◼   ► go down turn power on and test that

00:09:25 ◼   ► everything works but I hadn't zip them

00:09:28 ◼   ► back i hadn't slipped them all back into

00:09:30 ◼   ► the wall and a couple of things were

00:09:33 ◼   ► hanging out of the wall and they touched

00:09:37 ◼   ► one another and ground themselves out

00:09:39 ◼   ► stupid rookie mistake but in the course

00:09:43 ◼   ► of it I'll i fried one of my new parts

00:09:46 ◼   ► so i had to go back to the part where

00:09:48 ◼   ► store God dignity is one of these days I

00:09:52 ◼   ► mean I didn't have to tell them what I

00:09:53 ◼   ► done but it was just like oh yeah it

00:09:55 ◼   ► turns out i need another one of these

00:09:57 ◼   ► yeah i was so good this one more of them

00:09:59 ◼   ► exactly

00:10:00 ◼   ► yeah so I got them all in the house it

00:10:03 ◼   ► works a lot better I / 10 years I've

00:10:05 ◼   ► been living with these switches that I

00:10:06 ◼   ► just hated everybody hated them

00:10:08 ◼   ► it was like coming into my house and

00:10:11 ◼   ► turning on the lights was not just an

00:10:14 ◼   ► intelligence test but it was an

00:10:16 ◼   ► intelligence test that you that give you

00:10:18 ◼   ► a different route result every time a

00:10:20 ◼   ► madness

00:10:21 ◼   ► yeah so people would come in and maybe

00:10:22 ◼   ► you know they reach out to the light

00:10:23 ◼   ► switch I think a lot a lot of the people

00:10:25 ◼   ► that would you know guests in my home

00:10:27 ◼   ► would just leave the lights off because

00:10:30 ◼   ► they didn't wanna they didn't even want

00:10:31 ◼   ► to deal with the interface but now I

00:10:34 ◼   ► have normal-looking switches that do

00:10:37 ◼   ► normal replicable things nothing

00:10:39 ◼   ► shorting out but in the process of

00:10:43 ◼   ► fixing this

00:10:45 ◼   ► I had the doors of the house open both

00:10:48 ◼   ► front and back door because i'm running

00:10:49 ◼   ► in and out

00:10:53 ◼   ► and then a late at night because I i'm

00:10:56 ◼   ► up late right now these days

00:10:57 ◼   ► oh I'm lying in bed and a mouse runs by

00:11:02 ◼   ► oh no i've never had a mouse in my hand

00:11:06 ◼   ► it's cold outside right now it's cold

00:11:08 ◼   ► outside so the mouse says I come in here

00:11:10 ◼   ► mhm left the back door open and the

00:11:13 ◼   ► mouse is like super cool and so I've

00:11:20 ◼   ► just I've just created a whole other

00:11:22 ◼   ► problem never had a map I mean you know

00:11:24 ◼   ► there's mice and then there's my

00:11:26 ◼   ► surround these toys in the attic

00:11:29 ◼   ► yeah but I never a mouse in the house so

00:11:34 ◼   ► now now I've got like hopefully a mouse

00:11:39 ◼   ► it's probably our mouse bounty and grace

00:11:42 ◼   ► probably a ranger and explorer you know

00:11:45 ◼   ► he said some sense of boys out to go

00:11:47 ◼   ► like check things out this is good place

00:11:49 ◼   ► to have some ice and ice

00:11:51 ◼   ► mhm get in there check it out come back

00:11:53 ◼   ► and tell us and then I closed the door

00:11:54 ◼   ► and he was like huh who

00:11:56 ◼   ► but I you know I mean a mouse can get a

00:12:00 ◼   ► mouse can get out

00:12:01 ◼   ► so you're already up late already might

00:12:03 ◼   ► have liked but didn't either the mouse

00:12:05 ◼   ► kind of compounded the yeah i'm laying

00:12:08 ◼   ► around and thinking about this mouse

00:12:10 ◼   ► instead of instead of sleeping anyway so

00:12:14 ◼   ► that's where i'm at that God is still in

00:12:17 ◼   ► there as far as you know as well yeah I

00:12:18 ◼   ► mean I didn't tell him to leave

00:12:20 ◼   ► yeah i think i have to dispatch him

00:12:26 ◼   ► yeah I I don't like the trend Beyonce if

00:12:34 ◼   ► I had my druthers I would even have

00:12:35 ◼   ► power windows in a car because in my

00:12:37 ◼   ► head I know this is 30 40 year old

00:12:39 ◼   ► information but power windows to me

00:12:42 ◼   ► where we met and talked about this what

00:12:45 ◼   ► if you go into a river was going to a

00:12:46 ◼   ► river shirt need now you need a special

00:12:48 ◼   ► tool to not die in a car

00:12:49 ◼   ► yeah you need the window breaking to it

00:12:51 ◼   ► makes it makes the doors very heavy

00:12:53 ◼   ► because you have to have an engine

00:12:54 ◼   ► another you have to have and in engines

00:12:57 ◼   ► in your doors to make the windows go up

00:12:59 ◼   ► and down engines on your door engines in

00:13:01 ◼   ► the doors and I

00:13:03 ◼   ► aim not loving that also you know it's

00:13:06 ◼   ► another one of these things in this this

00:13:07 ◼   ► was before cars got good they're all

00:13:11 ◼   ► these problems were like the rich guy

00:13:12 ◼   ► stuff that you would put in a rich guy

00:13:14 ◼   ► car

00:13:15 ◼   ► we're all pretty consistently the stuff

00:13:17 ◼   ► that broke first yep it's so like if you

00:13:19 ◼   ► have an AC delco am/fm radio in your GM

00:13:23 ◼   ► car you know if you still have that car

00:13:25 ◼   ► I better than one part that still works

00:13:27 ◼   ► is the am FM radio with the chunk

00:13:30 ◼   ► buttons on any blow it out to program it

00:13:33 ◼   ► and program it

00:13:35 ◼   ► fuck you you're pulling out to set it

00:13:37 ◼   ► chunk chunk you listen to Q 105 it Tunes

00:13:41 ◼   ► perfectly flawlessly every time that

00:13:44 ◼   ► doesn't sound great but you know what

00:13:45 ◼   ► you're 50 year old radios probably still

00:13:47 ◼   ► working fine

00:13:48 ◼   ► the at least one window on a car would

00:13:50 ◼   ► usually break it was still be heavy but

00:13:52 ◼   ► now you didn't have a window that worked

00:13:54 ◼   ► yeah you know all that kind of stuff

00:13:55 ◼   ► used to just like even to this day like

00:13:57 ◼   ► our last car we had had manual windows

00:13:59 ◼   ► we had the least costly version of our

00:14:02 ◼   ► particular model of car that was

00:14:03 ◼   ► available and it was fine

00:14:05 ◼   ► yeah it was totally fine but then you

00:14:07 ◼   ► get into your house and their stuff but

00:14:09 ◼   ► there's a trick it's keeped I don't like

00:14:12 ◼   ► the stuff where it's cute to turn a

00:14:14 ◼   ► light on or off

00:14:15 ◼   ► you don't have a you don't have a nest I

00:14:17 ◼   ► don't have a nest my house is too old

00:14:19 ◼   ► for nest i do have a lot of smart lights

00:14:20 ◼   ► i won't take you down this particular k

00:14:22 ◼   ► hole but IMA heartlight yeah we could

00:14:24 ◼   ► get into it

00:14:25 ◼   ► we're just just like let's not go all

00:14:27 ◼   ► the way down the k-hole let's just dip

00:14:29 ◼   ► into the cable duct tape a little

00:14:31 ◼   ► alright what is a smart like I just want

00:14:33 ◼   ► to get I want to get one thing out cuz

00:14:34 ◼   ► it's on my mind I'm gonna get because

00:14:35 ◼   ► you have two bits of related stuff here

00:14:39 ◼   ► that are totally unrelated and yet

00:14:40 ◼   ► completely related imma let you finish

00:14:42 ◼   ► thank you thank you up your Kanye in

00:14:45 ◼   ► that case that was economy around we

00:14:48 ◼   ► struggle with mornings sometimes

00:14:52 ◼   ► oh yes I don't think we are unique in

00:14:55 ◼   ► this regard we struggled with a

00:14:57 ◼   ► multivariate struggle with mornings

00:14:59 ◼   ► there are many small things about

00:15:01 ◼   ► mornings they're difficult the primary

00:15:03 ◼   ► driver of a morning being tough is that

00:15:06 ◼   ► we have a kid who has to be at school at

00:15:09 ◼   ► a certain time and ideally she will have

00:15:13 ◼   ► food with her

00:15:14 ◼   ► ok for lunch she has to have homework in

00:15:18 ◼   ► the backpack

00:15:19 ◼   ► she has to not have like hermione

00:15:21 ◼   ► granger hair like she's got like look

00:15:23 ◼   ► presentable she's got to be clean

00:15:25 ◼   ► she has to have brush teeth and I'm

00:15:27 ◼   ► sorry I'm gonna bring it up again she's

00:15:28 ◼   ► got it she's got your shoes

00:15:30 ◼   ► there's a lot to do it sounds like well

00:15:33 ◼   ► you know an hour she like it would be

00:15:35 ◼   ► enough time but I don't know if you

00:15:36 ◼   ► struggle with this shoot socks and shoes

00:15:38 ◼   ► are where it all falls apart

00:15:40 ◼   ► ok I feel like again I I'm okay I'm just

00:15:44 ◼   ► gonna say this i really feel like the

00:15:46 ◼   ► whole thing needed to move to earlier

00:15:48 ◼   ► all adjustments we need to add 20 to 30

00:15:51 ◼   ► minutes in front of everything because

00:15:53 ◼   ► as a retired project manager I'm sure to

00:15:56 ◼   ► tell you there are many things that are

00:15:57 ◼   ► not being accounted for and there are

00:15:59 ◼   ► enough things that aren't accounted for

00:16:00 ◼   ► that by the time you get the shoes and

00:16:02 ◼   ► socks everyone's crying so you're saying

00:16:04 ◼   ► you need to wake up a half hour earlier

00:16:06 ◼   ► lots we've done we've got a whole thing

00:16:07 ◼   ► this is relates to to your light switch

00:16:09 ◼   ► problem and then I'm about to make an

00:16:11 ◼   ► analogy about my child being like a

00:16:12 ◼   ► theater lighting light switch but also

00:16:13 ◼   ► to do is sleep because i started going

00:16:15 ◼   ► to bed earlier in order to get up

00:16:17 ◼   ► earlier in order to be more helpful in

00:16:19 ◼   ► the morning and to not just be the

00:16:21 ◼   ► person assistant whatever you know you

00:16:22 ◼   ► guys should really do this earlier like

00:16:23 ◼   ► how much you fucking help out so I'm

00:16:25 ◼   ► trying to help out more

00:16:26 ◼   ► earlier to cascading chain and I feel

00:16:29 ◼   ► like I'm gonna see I'm the only one that

00:16:30 ◼   ► understands this but i feel like if i

00:16:32 ◼   ► have this knowledge in my bones in a way

00:16:34 ◼   ► that my daughter does not which is that

00:16:37 ◼   ► like if you don't go to bed earlier if

00:16:39 ◼   ► you keep reading Lemony Snicket until

00:16:41 ◼   ► ten o'clock like god bless you how do

00:16:43 ◼   ► you tell you to stop reading

00:16:44 ◼   ► I mean how do you tell you to stop

00:16:46 ◼   ► reading Lemony Snicket and you know yeah

00:16:48 ◼   ► absolutely it's you know it that's my

00:16:52 ◼   ► dream my I you know I'm I I wouldn't get

00:16:56 ◼   ► fuck all with how it turned out if she's

00:16:57 ◼   ► healthy great if she learns to like

00:17:00 ◼   ► music and likes reading i'm done i'm

00:17:02 ◼   ► ready to retire but that's all i care

00:17:04 ◼   ► about is wanting to read it's like a one

00:17:05 ◼   ► of my very few like super selfish things

00:17:07 ◼   ► is I hope my kid likes to read and

00:17:09 ◼   ► that's all she likes to do is read which

00:17:11 ◼   ► is great so you know I don't be that guy

00:17:12 ◼   ► but if you go to bed at ten and you're

00:17:15 ◼   ► gonna be getting up at six anymore

00:17:16 ◼   ► because you're a kid and you need more

00:17:18 ◼   ► sleep and it means you get up and you're

00:17:19 ◼   ► tired and now the toast is getting

00:17:20 ◼   ► pushed out later the toast pushes out

00:17:22 ◼   ► the reading because she's got read in

00:17:24 ◼   ► the morning before school she pushes

00:17:25 ◼   ► that out and we're pushing pushing

00:17:27 ◼   ► pushing pushing said

00:17:28 ◼   ► these four minutes until like we're at

00:17:30 ◼   ► the drop-dead leave the house time and

00:17:32 ◼   ► that's when the hair brushing and

00:17:33 ◼   ► toothbrush because now comes the tears

00:17:35 ◼   ► and as I said to her today I've been

00:17:37 ◼   ► cleverly put clock on her

00:17:38 ◼   ► I'm better we gave her a watch i

00:17:40 ◼   ► purchased three new clocks for the house

00:17:42 ◼   ► because it's going to be all about

00:17:43 ◼   ► clocks you know i'm i'm turning into

00:17:46 ◼   ► kind of a martinet about this clocks and

00:17:48 ◼   ► watches clocks and watches and so I said

00:17:51 ◼   ► to her I says I say look you know it's

00:17:53 ◼   ► mom and I are here to be your helpful

00:17:55 ◼   ► assistance but a point you need to

00:17:57 ◼   ► become more cognizant about how the time

00:17:59 ◼   ► works

00:18:00 ◼   ► yeah it sounds like the the mornings in

00:18:01 ◼   ► your house we're going to be like the

00:18:02 ◼   ► beginning of a pink floyd song and not

00:18:04 ◼   ► now look at it and now i'm going crazy

00:18:06 ◼   ► person because i'm running around going

00:18:08 ◼   ► okay guess what time it is right now

00:18:10 ◼   ► because I on 705 lat 712 means you need

00:18:14 ◼   ► to be out the door with shoes and socks

00:18:17 ◼   ► on

00:18:17 ◼   ► you know in this many minutes yeah

00:18:19 ◼   ► you're seven minutes behind already so

00:18:20 ◼   ► i'm already a crazy person on the other

00:18:22 ◼   ► one thing is over and it's up against is

00:18:24 ◼   ► 728 worried about 720 more here come

00:18:27 ◼   ► more tears and so we had a we had a so

00:18:31 ◼   ► we've recently implemented something new

00:18:32 ◼   ► which is everybody tries to go to bed

00:18:34 ◼   ► earlier everybody gets up earlier dad's

00:18:36 ◼   ► helping more in the morning which I'm

00:18:37 ◼   ► happy to do I mean happy to do but which

00:18:39 ◼   ► I think it's important to do but now

00:18:42 ◼   ► we've gotten into this thing where like

00:18:45 ◼   ► now I'm doing post mortem suppose morta

00:18:47 ◼   ► with her oh wow you're you're talking

00:18:49 ◼   ► about talking about it after school now

00:18:51 ◼   ► oh no this is like this is like this is

00:18:53 ◼   ► like what went wrong with the with the

00:18:54 ◼   ► mercury launch like everything ok with

00:18:57 ◼   ► going to school or do you do it like we

00:18:59 ◼   ► have like eight hours later the insane

00:19:01 ◼   ► part is like you know we she has friends

00:19:03 ◼   ► who live outside of town that like it

00:19:08 ◼   ► takes them 20 25 minutes without saying

00:19:11 ◼   ► too much i will just say that we are

00:19:12 ◼   ► very close to our daughter school we can

00:19:14 ◼   ► walk there at a pace that will not have

00:19:16 ◼   ► us out of breath in less than 10 minutes

00:19:18 ◼   ► it's manic there's no reason to ever be

00:19:20 ◼   ► late for school but because it takes so

00:19:22 ◼   ► little time to walk to school you can

00:19:24 ◼   ► guess what happens

00:19:24 ◼   ► sure you push it to the limit you get a

00:19:26 ◼   ► little loosey-goosey ok so here's me

00:19:29 ◼   ► this morning this is my mercury mercury

00:19:31 ◼   ► of this morning with my daughter I said

00:19:33 ◼   ► you know what we didn't count for I said

00:19:35 ◼   ► we didn't account for socks and that's

00:19:37 ◼   ► how we lost yesterday we were out at

00:19:39 ◼   ► seven-thirty to it

00:19:40 ◼   ► 730 now everything is the Sox the

00:19:43 ◼   ► difference between seven-thirty and 732

00:19:46 ◼   ► is all the difference in the world did

00:19:48 ◼   ► you get that first but you didn't get

00:19:50 ◼   ► out and we got the new program we're not

00:19:52 ◼   ► getting out for not out at seven-thirty

00:19:53 ◼   ► we have failed mercury is down

00:19:55 ◼   ► yeah okay this is the you know we went

00:19:57 ◼   ► and saw the hidden figures we both love

00:19:59 ◼   ► this movie so you know we're talking a

00:20:01 ◼   ► lot about john kennedy and astronauts

00:20:02 ◼   ► and stuff and anyway everything every

00:20:06 ◼   ► family should talk about that especially

00:20:07 ◼   ► in the morning so today I felt kind of

00:20:10 ◼   ► predict this morning but I was really

00:20:12 ◼   ► like i was i was really heavy on the

00:20:13 ◼   ► clock she's got a new watch on showing

00:20:15 ◼   ► how the lightworks can get very excited

00:20:17 ◼   ► to wear watch the school and and so you

00:20:20 ◼   ► know i'm walking around in my underpants

00:20:21 ◼   ► yeah but how many minutes after seven if

00:20:25 ◼   ► it so on the one hand i'm really tired

00:20:28 ◼   ► cuz i got five hours of sleep because

00:20:30 ◼   ► the new program is slow to launch but

00:20:32 ◼   ► here's the other thing about your lights

00:20:33 ◼   ► which is that the difference between a

00:20:37 ◼   ► traditional light switch and what you

00:20:39 ◼   ► had in your house is the difference

00:20:41 ◼   ► between your life before a child and

00:20:43 ◼   ► your life with a child it used to be you

00:20:45 ◼   ► could say for no particular reason i

00:20:48 ◼   ► feel it's it's 1152 p.m. and i feel like

00:20:52 ◼   ► walking to a light post five blocks from

00:20:54 ◼   ► here

00:20:55 ◼   ► whatever that matter you won't leave the

00:20:57 ◼   ► house you leave the house

00:20:58 ◼   ► sure if you want to pour a bucket of

00:21:00 ◼   ► Gatorade on your head you can just go do

00:21:02 ◼   ► that right now belong you just you just

00:21:04 ◼   ► you grab your keys in your wallet you

00:21:06 ◼   ► may be put on some pants bathrobe you

00:21:09 ◼   ► walk out and you just go and you you're

00:21:12 ◼   ► going to come anytime you feel like it

00:21:13 ◼   ► you just you just move around and then

00:21:16 ◼   ► you get to be like John's light switch

00:21:18 ◼   ► where it's like I honestly don't know I

00:21:21 ◼   ► cannot tell you within Swiss certainty i

00:21:25 ◼   ► can tell you within certainty more than

00:21:27 ◼   ► plus or minus 20 minutes when we will be

00:21:29 ◼   ► able to do anything because there are so

00:21:31 ◼   ► many unknown factors and when you're

00:21:32 ◼   ► running your goddamn finger along that

00:21:34 ◼   ► lady light switch and try to make it

00:21:35 ◼   ► light up

00:21:36 ◼   ► same thing the same feeling in this case

00:21:38 ◼   ► we didn't account for socks

00:21:40 ◼   ► you should not have to deliberate about

00:21:42 ◼   ► how long it will take for your lights to

00:21:43 ◼   ► come on I've accepted my happy lot in

00:21:45 ◼   ► life is that I have to account for socks

00:21:47 ◼   ► and minutes but you do kinda pine for

00:21:51 ◼   ► the days when you could just walk to a

00:21:52 ◼   ► light post

00:21:52 ◼   ► well I have my way of dealing with this

00:21:59 ◼   ► Merlin is a very simple hack that i've

00:22:01 ◼   ► been using my whole life which is that

00:22:02 ◼   ► every clock in my house is 11 minutes

00:22:04 ◼   ► fast but who who was that Vince Lombardi

00:22:07 ◼   ► did that right already famously set all

00:22:11 ◼   ► of his clocks and watches 15 minutes

00:22:13 ◼   ► fast

00:22:14 ◼   ► well 15 minutes is too easy because you

00:22:16 ◼   ► used to be a prime number

00:22:18 ◼   ► yeah you get a job at 15 minutes but 11

00:22:20 ◼   ► minutes you forget that it's there 11

00:22:23 ◼   ► minutes is just this like number that's

00:22:26 ◼   ► very hard for people to throw to just be

00:22:30 ◼   ► like oh it's burp

00:22:32 ◼   ► oh you know roundup you round up way too

00:22:34 ◼   ► easy yeah so a and you know and I change

00:22:39 ◼   ► the amount that the clocks are off at

00:22:41 ◼   ► this was going to be my hack on your

00:22:43 ◼   ► hack yeah the way that really work is

00:22:45 ◼   ► they're all fast but they're all fast a

00:22:46 ◼   ► little different yeah and some sometimes

00:22:48 ◼   ► at seven sometimes it's 12 and if you

00:22:51 ◼   ► don't have mpr on you're not going to

00:22:52 ◼   ► know when they're wrong

00:22:54 ◼   ► that's right you and your screws the

00:22:55 ◼   ► whole thing out we'll see and I don't

00:22:56 ◼   ► have a PR hmm and so everybody's just

00:22:59 ◼   ► looking at clocks and I'm and I just I

00:23:02 ◼   ► just take the clock at its word and

00:23:04 ◼   ► generally were in the car driving and i

00:23:08 ◼   ► passed some some clock that a business

00:23:12 ◼   ► has thoughtfully put up starts visible

00:23:14 ◼   ► from the freeway

00:23:16 ◼   ► yeah I'm like whoa we are plenty of

00:23:19 ◼   ► times but i feel myself every morning

00:23:21 ◼   ► it's like every morning I go Oh check it

00:23:24 ◼   ► out again I never I never remember it

00:23:28 ◼   ► because I intentionally don't remember

00:23:30 ◼   ► it but if she's wearing a watch to

00:23:32 ◼   ► school now

00:23:35 ◼   ► now you've given her some kind of like

00:23:38 ◼   ► connection that she can take into the

00:23:40 ◼   ► world right watch can't be wrong but

00:23:42 ◼   ► she's going to be measuring it against

00:23:44 ◼   ► the school of washer

00:23:46 ◼   ► yeah that's true she's not going to sit

00:23:48 ◼   ► there in the house and be like oh I

00:23:49 ◼   ► believe the house clocks she's gonna go

00:23:52 ◼   ► rain watch

00:23:53 ◼   ► oh there's one thing about this watch

00:23:54 ◼   ► though oh my god this is not a precision

00:23:56 ◼   ► timepieces John this is something I got

00:23:57 ◼   ► off amazon for thirteen dollars and you

00:23:59 ◼   ► know it's amazing what kind of watching

00:24:01 ◼   ► it for thirteen dollars for a kid today

00:24:02 ◼   ► but there is first of all like all

00:24:06 ◼   ► most all digital that's an analog and

00:24:09 ◼   ► digital watch

00:24:10 ◼   ► it's got like it's a chronograph like

00:24:12 ◼   ► many of these you get the modal buttons

00:24:14 ◼   ► for setting things and there's many

00:24:16 ◼   ► things to set you ready for this though

00:24:17 ◼   ► I'm not even like a super OCD guy but

00:24:19 ◼   ► this this is already driving both of us

00:24:21 ◼   ► nuts like one hour and having this watch

00:24:23 ◼   ► this is driving her nuts which is the

00:24:25 ◼   ► the you set the time on the analog and

00:24:30 ◼   ► the digital separately so gentle and

00:24:36 ◼   ► neither of them is necessarily correct

00:24:37 ◼   ► your they're both manually set so you

00:24:40 ◼   ► get the watch and take out the box you

00:24:41 ◼   ► put it on you say okay what time is it

00:24:42 ◼   ► 718 okay well you set the the analog 2

00:24:45 ◼   ► 718 well and then you gotta go and set

00:24:47 ◼   ► the digital by the time you set the

00:24:49 ◼   ► digital the 718 its already seven

00:24:51 ◼   ► nineteen and then sweep second hand is

00:24:53 ◼   ► not matching up with the second you

00:24:55 ◼   ► gotta do this separately so the whole

00:24:56 ◼   ► time she points out this morning the

00:24:58 ◼   ► second hands aren't the same on these

00:24:59 ◼   ► and I don't know what to say

00:25:00 ◼   ► I think it's a $13 chronograph it's not

00:25:02 ◼   ► it's not it's not a it's not a Rolex but

00:25:07 ◼   ► that would drive me nuts all day at

00:25:08 ◼   ► school I'd be looking at the second hand

00:25:09 ◼   ► on the clock

00:25:10 ◼   ► the second-hand sweep second hand on the

00:25:11 ◼   ► watch I be looking at the digital

00:25:13 ◼   ► seconds and I'd be thinking what fresh

00:25:15 ◼   ► hell is this

00:25:16 ◼   ► yeah what time is it really John there's

00:25:19 ◼   ► a clock that i bought for one of the

00:25:22 ◼   ► rooms of the house that i liked the look

00:25:25 ◼   ► of it you know it looked like one of

00:25:27 ◼   ► those old-fashioned diner clocks I would

00:25:30 ◼   ► kill for that has been banned from our

00:25:31 ◼   ► house and I want one so much why is it

00:25:34 ◼   ► ain't tex oh my goodness the aesthetics

00:25:37 ◼   ► are unbeautiful I have so much to say

00:25:39 ◼   ► about the see this is one last thing

00:25:42 ◼   ► about this because this is this is only

00:25:45 ◼   ► for us notice must never get back to my

00:25:47 ◼   ► house

00:25:47 ◼   ► okay i have pointed out to my partner

00:25:50 ◼   ► that we need to have a clock in the area

00:25:54 ◼   ► where the drama begins having clocks in

00:25:58 ◼   ► other places has not been working there

00:26:00 ◼   ► needs to be a clock in our face at the

00:26:02 ◼   ► place where the tears happen now my

00:26:04 ◼   ► preference for that would be to get a

00:26:05 ◼   ► diner clock like an old-school kitchen

00:26:08 ◼   ► clock a school clock you put it here by

00:26:10 ◼   ► the pictures in the hallway but you know

00:26:12 ◼   ► what i understand that is not

00:26:13 ◼   ► aesthetically pleasing

00:26:15 ◼   ► I would i want the largest conceivable

00:26:16 ◼   ► clock that will fit in that area

00:26:18 ◼   ► and I wanted to hang over my daughter

00:26:21 ◼   ► like the dark mark III want this to be

00:26:24 ◼   ► something she cannot avoid seeing now

00:26:26 ◼   ► I'm capitulating buying three about

00:26:28 ◼   ► three different clocks from this one and

00:26:30 ◼   ► I'm gonna let my wife pick which one she

00:26:31 ◼   ► thinks is his least odious but she she

00:26:34 ◼   ► has strong opinions about the about the

00:26:37 ◼   ► vibe that a clock in parts to a room

00:26:42 ◼   ► yeah that she's right if we put it next

00:26:45 ◼   ► to all the framed pictures of people

00:26:47 ◼   ► it's gonna look weird but always got

00:26:49 ◼   ► lots of pictures of the family like it's

00:26:51 ◼   ► a nice little area that's very homey and

00:26:53 ◼   ► I'm trying to turn it into like a

00:26:54 ◼   ► commissary or something by putting a

00:26:56 ◼   ► giant clock on the wall and I get why

00:26:58 ◼   ► she doesn't want to do that when I just

00:27:00 ◼   ► feel like I feel like we need something

00:27:02 ◼   ► we need a very large very intimidating

00:27:04 ◼   ► tik-tok actually literally makes the

00:27:07 ◼   ► noise tick tock clock

00:27:09 ◼   ► well here's what's crazy about this one

00:27:10 ◼   ► that i bought yeah i bought it i brought

00:27:13 ◼   ► it home and I I and I knew when I got it

00:27:16 ◼   ► that it was not I could go down to the

00:27:18 ◼   ► salvage yard and find some clock from an

00:27:21 ◼   ► old school and and should have done but

00:27:26 ◼   ► I was at some you know is that some

00:27:28 ◼   ► store and I saw this thing and I'm

00:27:31 ◼   ► excuse me and it was not expensive and i

00:27:35 ◼   ► said yeah you know throw a couple of

00:27:37 ◼   ► dollars at this great brought it home

00:27:40 ◼   ► and there was a sin it's battery-powered

00:27:43 ◼   ► and there was a separate battery for the

00:27:49 ◼   ► little hand

00:27:50 ◼   ► whoa that was like very very troubling

00:27:55 ◼   ► to me

00:27:56 ◼   ► well you absolutely right is a lot of

00:27:58 ◼   ► reasons that bothers me

00:27:59 ◼   ► well here's the number one reason the

00:28:01 ◼   ► only reason really is that the operation

00:28:04 ◼   ► of the little hand does not bear on my

00:28:09 ◼   ► keeping God you have two clocks and

00:28:11 ◼   ► neither of them may be right

00:28:13 ◼   ► so that's a recipe for madness yeah the

00:28:16 ◼   ► little hand is just he's been around

00:28:18 ◼   ► these artisans are some seconds mostly

00:28:21 ◼   ► yeah this is what second look like but

00:28:24 ◼   ► the clock itself is like tick tick like

00:28:28 ◼   ► it's just on its own and I'm and I so

00:28:30 ◼   ► every time I look at the clock I'm like

00:28:31 ◼   ► he's so weird

00:28:33 ◼   ► mmm this is you are living a lie clock

00:28:35 ◼   ► and but I'm kind of you know i like them

00:28:40 ◼   ► like what it does to the room it really

00:28:42 ◼   ► ties the room together you able to put

00:28:44 ◼   ► it out of your mind that did you have to

00:28:45 ◼   ► clock in a clock because the clock is in

00:28:48 ◼   ► an adjacent space it's not a regular

00:28:52 ◼   ► space i don't i don't refer to this

00:28:55 ◼   ► clock the clock is visible from the

00:28:59 ◼   ► guest bed so it's really a o'clock for

00:29:03 ◼   ► the benefit of guests and i'm already

00:29:06 ◼   ► fucking with them because it's 11

00:29:07 ◼   ► minutes fast so the second is sort of

00:29:11 ◼   ► rounding on a second and it's just like

00:29:13 ◼   ► if you want to if you're taking your own

00:29:15 ◼   ► blood pressure like it is keeping the

00:29:19 ◼   ► second would be pretty funny if you

00:29:22 ◼   ► changed it like not to wear a minute is

00:29:24 ◼   ► 90 seconds but you know be great if you

00:29:26 ◼   ► change it to wear a minute was like 47

00:29:28 ◼   ► so when that wouldn't that make you feel

00:29:31 ◼   ► like a crazy person

00:29:32 ◼   ► yeah that's it is running faster than it

00:29:35 ◼   ► should

00:29:36 ◼   ► but it wasn't affecting the time and

00:29:39 ◼   ► what I imagine is that you're lying

00:29:41 ◼   ► there in bed and if you're if you like I

00:29:43 ◼   ► would be the type of person that would

00:29:47 ◼   ► lay in bed and watch the little head go

00:29:49 ◼   ► around em but then the big hand ticks

00:29:54 ◼   ► off another minute but the little hand

00:29:57 ◼   ► is at like 40 seconds

00:29:58 ◼   ► oh my god and be like what what what

00:30:01 ◼   ► whoa what just happened

00:30:03 ◼   ► oh my god and then it did it repeatedly

00:30:06 ◼   ► told her you would yeah you really doubt

00:30:09 ◼   ► you talk about gaslighting that's like a

00:30:11 ◼   ► black mirrors a choice

00:30:13 ◼   ► this episode of Roderick on the line is

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00:32:54 ◼   ► and for supporting Roderick on the line

00:32:56 ◼   ► so so and I have you know I have the

00:32:59 ◼   ► clocks on the stove and the clocks on

00:33:01 ◼   ► the microwave and those two because

00:33:03 ◼   ► they're right next to each other i'll

00:33:05 ◼   ► set the time on one and then I will sit

00:33:08 ◼   ► with my finger poised over the other

00:33:10 ◼   ► it'sit's in this this is an art because

00:33:12 ◼   ► i do not want them to be even four

00:33:15 ◼   ► seconds separated and I wait I wait I

00:33:19 ◼   ► swim that whole minute watching this pot

00:33:21 ◼   ► boil

00:33:21 ◼   ► uh-huh and then but I you know I try and

00:33:24 ◼   ► just nail it with the other one because

00:33:26 ◼   ► i want those things to be and that's

00:33:29 ◼   ► irrelevant and I don't want anything I

00:33:31 ◼   ► think the fact that everybody has and I

00:33:35 ◼   ► mostly exactly correct clock on their

00:33:39 ◼   ► phone

00:33:40 ◼   ► yeah it's that is interesting to me

00:33:42 ◼   ► because I mean that is not going to be

00:33:44 ◼   ► fair that's canonical source of time I

00:33:45 ◼   ► give you know what time it is look at

00:33:47 ◼   ► your phone because your phone is

00:33:48 ◼   ► actually you know first of all it's a

00:33:50 ◼   ► really good time piece like better than

00:33:51 ◼   ► most of us could afford on our wrists I

00:33:53 ◼   ► imagine and it is you know getting the

00:33:55 ◼   ► weather the nuclear time update but i

00:33:57 ◼   ► but i don't think people think about

00:33:59 ◼   ► this or sweat this stuff as much as our

00:34:02 ◼   ► generation did I think about the clocks

00:34:04 ◼   ► we had in my elementary school and man I

00:34:07 ◼   ► mean the clocks in our school they had a

00:34:10 ◼   ► sweep second hand and first of all they

00:34:14 ◼   ► were all every clock in the school which

00:34:16 ◼   ► can be set remotely every clock in the

00:34:18 ◼   ► school was always egg exactly right

00:34:22 ◼   ► yeah and what if it was a bell that rang

00:34:25 ◼   ► at 1pm it did not start to ring until

00:34:30 ◼   ► the clock turned to one o'clock and it

00:34:32 ◼   ► did not turn to one o'clock until the

00:34:34 ◼   ► second hand shop which one like this

00:34:36 ◼   ► talk and talk

00:34:38 ◼   ► haha

00:34:39 ◼   ► talk until that went from 59

00:34:43 ◼   ► 212like it was not every single clock

00:34:46 ◼   ► was exactly

00:34:47 ◼   ► flawlessly perfect all the time in every

00:34:50 ◼   ► room all the time and if it wasn't it

00:34:52 ◼   ► would have been really troubling do you

00:34:53 ◼   ► remember the last day of eighth grade

00:34:55 ◼   ► with was your was your junior high

00:35:00 ◼   ► through ninth grader was it did end at

00:35:02 ◼   ► 80 so seven eight nine ten to twelve oh

00:35:06 ◼   ► my god I don't even know what it's like

00:35:08 ◼   ► to be one of us junior high and then you

00:35:10 ◼   ► have middle school 628 no we didn't have

00:35:14 ◼   ► middle school junior high was 78 that's

00:35:18 ◼   ► so strange sixth grade was the last

00:35:21 ◼   ► grade of elementary spanish is he should

00:35:24 ◼   ► be as Shannon 78 @ men 9th grade was

00:35:28 ◼   ► freshman in high school as it should be

00:35:30 ◼   ► it's certainly the way Europe makes you

00:35:32 ◼   ► put your dog in a kennel for like a year

00:35:35 ◼   ► alright what is see also cutting trail

00:35:37 ◼   ► like it really that's the two years

00:35:38 ◼   ► that's a containment facility it really

00:35:40 ◼   ► is it really is you are because when

00:35:42 ◼   ► your sixth grader you're like nah gah

00:35:45 ◼   ► athl pow pow

00:35:48 ◼   ► hi you know when the and write about

00:35:50 ◼   ► sixth-graders when the girls start to

00:35:52 ◼   ► say like um I do you want to go with me

00:35:56 ◼   ► who's going with who

00:35:57 ◼   ► yeah oh he's going with her all the

00:36:00 ◼   ► goings going to say that going with

00:36:02 ◼   ► years and I was like damn her tell you

00:36:05 ◼   ► the first time a girl said the girl came

00:36:08 ◼   ► up to me because a lot of it isn't do

00:36:12 ◼   ► you want to go with me

00:36:13 ◼   ► it is do you want to go with her

00:36:17 ◼   ► oh yeah you get proxies yeah i'm here as

00:36:19 ◼   ► an intermediary who and it was like a

00:36:21 ◼   ► small group of girls that approached me

00:36:23 ◼   ► on the playground and said let's call

00:36:27 ◼   ► her Stacey because that's a name from my

00:36:29 ◼   ► nice interactions risk name but do you

00:36:33 ◼   ► want to go out do you want to go with

00:36:34 ◼   ► stealing girls with a sec do you want to

00:36:36 ◼   ► go with Stacy and I was such a child I

00:36:38 ◼   ► was like go where and they wrote the

00:36:42 ◼   ► collectively rolled their eyes and I

00:36:44 ◼   ► yeah just sighed at me and I was like

00:36:47 ◼   ► what what what have I done what did i do

00:36:49 ◼   ► and even by saying that dumb thing I had

00:36:52 ◼   ► sort of like blown my chances with

00:36:54 ◼   ► Stacey no but that's not all you can out

00:36:58 ◼   ► of yourself as a look because I was like

00:37:01 ◼   ► you know I stopped for one second

00:37:03 ◼   ► playing like time temp travelers like

00:37:06 ◼   ► time traveler space ninja like what go

00:37:10 ◼   ► with the red why would I want to go with

00:37:11 ◼   ► her but that was also the year that i

00:37:16 ◼   ► sat at the Arctic roadrunner

00:37:19 ◼   ► oh my god this was the worst moment of

00:37:20 ◼   ► my life I so we were doing some kind of

00:37:23 ◼   ► theater show and it was me and another

00:37:27 ◼   ► friend of mine and Lori basler alright

00:37:32 ◼   ► some other species again and the four of

00:37:35 ◼   ► us went to the Arctic Road Runner which

00:37:38 ◼   ► was the hamburger place that was around

00:37:40 ◼   ► the corner from my elementary school

00:37:42 ◼   ► which was northstar elementary that

00:37:45 ◼   ► you'll notice you'll begin to pick up a

00:37:47 ◼   ► theme that everything in Alaska is named

00:37:49 ◼   ► after Alaska so get northstar

00:37:52 ◼   ► Elementary's telling Los Angeles that's

00:37:54 ◼   ► right yeah it's except yeah in Los

00:37:58 ◼   ► Angeles every every name of everything

00:38:00 ◼   ► is something you've already heard a

00:38:01 ◼   ► thousand times from the movies

00:38:03 ◼   ► yeah okay like whoa melrose I know what

00:38:05 ◼   ► that is

00:38:06 ◼   ► no you don't you just know it from a TV

00:38:08 ◼   ► show but the Arctic roadrunner used to

00:38:12 ◼   ► only have one location which was on

00:38:14 ◼   ► Arctic Boulevard and then they had

00:38:17 ◼   ► another location but I thought I found

00:38:18 ◼   ► that second location to be non-canonical

00:38:20 ◼   ► ok but I went to the Arctic roadrunner

00:38:23 ◼   ► with my friend and Lori basler and her

00:38:27 ◼   ► friend and this was a very unusual

00:38:28 ◼   ► situation we were off campus during

00:38:32 ◼   ► school getting a hamburger that we were

00:38:35 ◼   ► paying for with our own money

00:38:36 ◼   ► it was like a big deal

00:38:41 ◼   ► it felt like a scene from Greece and we

00:38:43 ◼   ► and I got my hamburger first

00:38:46 ◼   ► and I went over to the booze and it's an

00:38:49 ◼   ► Arctic rotor is a hamburger joint from

00:38:51 ◼   ► the fifties and it looks like the

00:38:53 ◼   ► nineteen fifties I walked over and

00:38:56 ◼   ► they're here was the booth

00:39:00 ◼   ► and I said oh shit what do i do if i sit

00:39:06 ◼   ► on one side I won't see what I want is

00:39:09 ◼   ► Lori bachelor sit next to me but I'm

00:39:15 ◼   ► gonna sit on one side and then tell my

00:39:17 ◼   ► friend to sit next to me and or I'm

00:39:21 ◼   ► gonna tell my friend to sit across and

00:39:23 ◼   ► then that and I just I wasn't sure

00:39:25 ◼   ► exactly what to do and i sat down in a

00:39:28 ◼   ► booth and my friend sat across from me

00:39:30 ◼   ► and I was like okay let's run through

00:39:32 ◼   ► scenarios you're doing like between

00:39:33 ◼   ► chess

00:39:34 ◼   ► yeah i'm just like how is this gonna

00:39:35 ◼   ► play out and then Lori and her friend

00:39:38 ◼   ► came and sat in a separate booth

00:39:39 ◼   ► together see and I was like what no

00:39:43 ◼   ► that's not

00:39:44 ◼   ► we're all together with all special

00:39:47 ◼   ► arrangements the screws up my right now

00:39:50 ◼   ► you can't go on a separate car

00:39:52 ◼   ► Tom can you get me off the Sally and so

00:39:59 ◼   ► so it was like the whole thing was

00:40:02 ◼   ► screwed up and I I mean the only worse

00:40:05 ◼   ► scenario would have been that Lori sat

00:40:06 ◼   ► next to my friend and her prince that

00:40:08 ◼   ► next to me and that's not what happened

00:40:10 ◼   ► so it ended up remaining neutral but boy

00:40:14 ◼   ► there was a lot of tension there and

00:40:16 ◼   ► that is sixth grade to me by the time

00:40:19 ◼   ► seventh-grade rolled around people were

00:40:22 ◼   ► smoking cigarettes and and getting drunk

00:40:25 ◼   ► before school

00:40:26 ◼   ► nacho cheese oh my god this is such as

00:40:28 ◼   ► such a narrow aperture yeah that's

00:40:30 ◼   ► Alaska but the last day of eighth grade

00:40:34 ◼   ► I remember sitting in class and spring

00:40:36 ◼   ► in Alaska is one of the great seasons of

00:40:39 ◼   ► the world it's the season of the witch

00:40:43 ◼   ► alright because spring is just like it

00:40:47 ◼   ► winter is so awful and breakup is so

00:40:50 ◼   ► awful that when full spring arrives

00:40:55 ◼   ► everything blooms it's beautiful out you

00:40:58 ◼   ► know the by June this

00:41:01 ◼   ► the sun is up in the sky for a long time

00:41:04 ◼   ► during the day like it's like Sun Goes

00:41:07 ◼   ► Down it ten you know it's it's wonderful

00:41:10 ◼   ► and you're still trapped in school it's

00:41:12 ◼   ► in

00:41:12 ◼   ► it's just crazy making the last day of

00:41:16 ◼   ► great i still remember watching that

00:41:18 ◼   ► little hand

00:41:19 ◼   ► tick-tick-tick as it went around and and

00:41:24 ◼   ► you know here it comes like it's where

00:41:28 ◼   ► one minute out and just watching the

00:41:30 ◼   ► teachers to like well summer blah i want

00:41:34 ◼   ► you to read this and then just pick and

00:41:38 ◼   ► that it hit that Bell and it was like

00:41:41 ◼   ► the the ceiling lifted off the world you

00:41:45 ◼   ► know I because i was done well done with

00:41:48 ◼   ► junior high

00:41:49 ◼   ► in addition what you know I was out of

00:41:51 ◼   ► this nightmare and I was basically

00:41:53 ◼   ► headed to college which was ninth grade

00:41:56 ◼   ► which I you know which everyone all

00:42:00 ◼   ► through junior high is preparing you for

00:42:02 ◼   ► ninth grade like well you know and I

00:42:03 ◼   ► don't feel like it anymore

00:42:05 ◼   ► that's right when you get over their

00:42:06 ◼   ► high school like look out you can't

00:42:08 ◼   ► can't keep playing around with food and

00:42:11 ◼   ► in it you know i began what would

00:42:14 ◼   ► effectively be the last true summer of

00:42:17 ◼   ► my childhood and it was all staring at

00:42:20 ◼   ► that you that clock that represented the

00:42:23 ◼   ► uniformity of school the same clock that

00:42:25 ◼   ► had been in every classroom from the

00:42:28 ◼   ► time I was in kindergarten

00:42:30 ◼   ► just watching this this famous black

00:42:32 ◼   ► clock to get down o whenever I whenever

00:42:36 ◼   ► I need to you know whenever I'm doing a

00:42:38 ◼   ► big-budget hollywood film and they say

00:42:41 ◼   ► can you cry

00:42:43 ◼   ► mhm I just put myself in that in that

00:42:46 ◼   ► situation culture sense a sense memory

00:42:49 ◼   ► yep yep just stick it down my class used

00:42:53 ◼   ► to be so important

00:42:55 ◼   ► I don't even know if they do kids do

00:42:58 ◼   ► they even have a last day of school

00:42:59 ◼   ► already like to get into sliding scale

00:43:02 ◼   ► it's just optional or something

00:43:04 ◼   ► everything's a mess now I mean

00:43:06 ◼   ► everything's a mess there's there's no

00:43:08 ◼   ► there's nothing to him or anybody

00:43:10 ◼   ► anymore that the times change its

00:43:13 ◼   ► strange times what you remember this

00:43:14 ◼   ► do you remember so it sounds like your

00:43:16 ◼   ► clocks were your big black clock was as

00:43:17 ◼   ► tough and solid is ours to remember the

00:43:20 ◼   ► black as yours

00:43:21 ◼   ► but do you remember on the Friday the

00:43:25 ◼   ► Friday in fall before the friday before

00:43:29 ◼   ► the time change right before school let

00:43:31 ◼   ► out this amazing moment

00:43:33 ◼   ► oh oh my god i just try stills I think I

00:43:36 ◼   ► so clearly remember them because these

00:43:37 ◼   ► clocks I just I can't say it enough

00:43:39 ◼   ► these clocks run impeachable oh you're

00:43:41 ◼   ► talking about when they moved remotely

00:43:42 ◼   ► one hour at every there was a there was

00:43:45 ◼   ► a weird moment when suddenly the clock

00:43:48 ◼   ► that was never wrong

00:43:50 ◼   ► worcester and then suddenly the little

00:43:54 ◼   ► hand and the big hand would start moving

00:43:56 ◼   ► backwards

00:43:57 ◼   ► oh I do remember and what would happen

00:43:59 ◼   ► it would take less than a minute it was

00:44:00 ◼   ► like yeah but it was such a strange it

00:44:06 ◼   ► was like it would be like somebody

00:44:07 ◼   ► resetting the sky it was so it was such

00:44:09 ◼   ► a weird moment and I mean maybe I'm

00:44:12 ◼   ► thinking about this too much maybe I

00:44:13 ◼   ► think about clocks too much i think i

00:44:15 ◼   ► think becoming aware of time all let me

00:44:17 ◼   ► say this i am Amy very disorganized and

00:44:20 ◼   ► very confused person but there's a

00:44:22 ◼   ► couple things in my life that may make

00:44:25 ◼   ► my life more sensible and made me less

00:44:27 ◼   ► stressed out i can tell you two things

00:44:28 ◼   ► that have completely changed my game one

00:44:31 ◼   ► is always putting my wallet and keys all

00:44:33 ◼   ► my pocket things i always put all my

00:44:34 ◼   ► pocket things in the same place every

00:44:37 ◼   ► day all the time they never go anywhere

00:44:38 ◼   ► but that one spot game-changer what is

00:44:41 ◼   ► that spot

00:44:41 ◼   ► ah what is mine or what's called 0 minus

00:44:45 ◼   ► minus a white like a good dish it's sort

00:44:48 ◼   ► of like it's costing like it like a

00:44:49 ◼   ► plate and a bowl and probably from like

00:44:52 ◼   ► an ikea but it's like a flat it's

00:44:55 ◼   ► probably can tell you it's about this

00:44:57 ◼   ► with of an apple pencil swear it's a

00:44:59 ◼   ► flat circle again eight-by-eight

00:45:01 ◼   ► McConaughey disk and that's where it

00:45:04 ◼   ► goes ok so that's one and talking about

00:45:06 ◼   ► you you just didn't have a name oh I i

00:45:09 ◼   ► don't know i called the dish dish but

00:45:12 ◼   ► like okay that's just 11 of one of those

00:45:13 ◼   ► one of the things that has been a change

00:45:14 ◼   ► for in and the thing is it's like it's

00:45:16 ◼   ► like when you stop smoking and suddenly

00:45:18 ◼   ► can understand how anybody ever smoked

00:45:19 ◼   ► and like now I like the idea that your

00:45:22 ◼   ► keys for example could be anywhere in

00:45:26 ◼   ► the entire fucking universe then the

00:45:28 ◼   ► white dish

00:45:29 ◼   ► yeah the dish and the in the idea that

00:45:31 ◼   ► your wallet could be

00:45:33 ◼   ► we're but either literally in your

00:45:34 ◼   ► pocket or hand while you're using it or

00:45:36 ◼   ► in the dish it never goes anywhere else

00:45:38 ◼   ► I never put it anywhere else and that

00:45:40 ◼   ► has been my bulwark against madness

00:45:43 ◼   ► well now let me see this yes II all

00:45:46 ◼   ► those things that go in the dish are all

00:45:48 ◼   ► outside the house implements so again

00:45:53 ◼   ► let you know that will let put

00:45:55 ◼   ► differently apart from my phone which

00:45:57 ◼   ► may be in my pocket are being charged

00:45:59 ◼   ► it's all the stuff that I would never in

00:46:01 ◼   ► a million years leave the house without

00:46:02 ◼   ► right but they're not things that you

00:46:04 ◼   ► use in the house for if you do you have

00:46:08 ◼   ► to go to the white dish get your credit

00:46:10 ◼   ► card out yet makes the transaction you

00:46:12 ◼   ► put it back in the white dish

00:46:14 ◼   ► yeah exactly like you know unless

00:46:15 ◼   ► somebody has borrowed my two keys on a

00:46:18 ◼   ► ring to use as fulcrum for some kind of

00:46:20 ◼   ► a thing to make Wolverine pull out of

00:46:22 ◼   ► the Barbie house mentioning any names

00:46:23 ◼   ► know the keys are always there

00:46:27 ◼   ► ok so that's that's the number-one the

00:46:28 ◼   ► dish and number two is this came much

00:46:32 ◼   ► much much later was learning to realize

00:46:35 ◼   ► accept and been anything like that to

00:46:40 ◼   ► realize how this is used for me let me

00:46:43 ◼   ► learn to real well lots of people can

00:46:44 ◼   ► change before they realize what they're

00:46:46 ◼   ► trying to change and not always fuck up

00:46:47 ◼   ► because they never became aware of what

00:46:49 ◼   ► the thing is it's actually wrong

00:46:50 ◼   ► yeah they're trying to realize before

00:46:51 ◼   ► then that was my relationship with time

00:46:53 ◼   ► and like it you know honestly it is it

00:46:56 ◼   ► took like five years at a time for me to

00:46:59 ◼   ► make a 10-percent increasing realization

00:47:01 ◼   ► about how fucked up my sense of time was

00:47:03 ◼   ► it wasn't I mean it should have been

00:47:05 ◼   ► there should have been a shaman lon

00:47:06 ◼   ► thing all the time of me going like wow

00:47:08 ◼   ► it's really weird that I never turned

00:47:10 ◼   ► anything in on time

00:47:11 ◼   ► it's really weird that I am late for

00:47:13 ◼   ► every single thing that I do it never

00:47:15 ◼   ► occurred to me that maybe time was the

00:47:16 ◼   ► one that was right and I was one of

00:47:18 ◼   ► those little screwy I think it really

00:47:19 ◼   ► wasn't until college were like there are

00:47:21 ◼   ► consequences for you know turning things

00:47:22 ◼   ► in late or give a like for every

00:47:24 ◼   ► workshop alone huh

00:47:26 ◼   ► come along no no me and Sam Ilan but

00:47:29 ◼   ► without I'm sure well the second thing

00:47:31 ◼   ► the second thing was accepting that like

00:47:36 ◼   ► a clock

00:47:37 ◼   ► let's say let's say you've got a clock

00:47:38 ◼   ► that for whatever reason is consistently

00:47:40 ◼   ► 20 minutes wrong it seems like you could

00:47:41 ◼   ► basically fix that what i learned to

00:47:42 ◼   ► realize is like idea

00:47:44 ◼   ► realign my sense of how long it takes to

00:47:45 ◼   ► do fucking everything and I have to and

00:47:48 ◼   ► then when I eventually did become a

00:47:49 ◼   ► project manager it was even worse

00:47:51 ◼   ► because everything is perfectly planned

00:47:53 ◼   ► still goes wrong when you're a project

00:47:55 ◼   ► manager you get to like be part of the

00:47:58 ◼   ► process of deciding how long things take

00:47:59 ◼   ► but you don't have that much actual

00:48:01 ◼   ► control about how long it actually does

00:48:03 ◼   ► take and so what do you do well in my

00:48:05 ◼   ► case I learned to always add twenty

00:48:07 ◼   ► percent to every aspect of every project

00:48:10 ◼   ► and maybe sometimes that would be within

00:48:12 ◼   ► the range of okay but that's the

00:48:14 ◼   ► number-one the dish and number two the

00:48:15 ◼   ► time and so as somebody whose life has

00:48:18 ◼   ► benefited as someone who's sanity has

00:48:21 ◼   ► improved by addressing realizing

00:48:24 ◼   ► addressing those things it is so hard

00:48:27 ◼   ► for me

00:48:28 ◼   ► we have been accounted for socks and now

00:48:30 ◼   ► it's 732 and like we should never be in

00:48:32 ◼   ► this position and I realized why I

00:48:34 ◼   ► selling out of my mind I know it's just

00:48:35 ◼   ► that every morning I wake up knowing

00:48:37 ◼   ► that we're going to be late and don't

00:48:38 ◼   ► have that much control over it and I

00:48:40 ◼   ► feel like if they just took my to power

00:48:42 ◼   ► hacks and put them in place they being

00:48:44 ◼   ► my daughter right my perhaps could work

00:48:46 ◼   ► but yeah the post-mortem this morning we

00:48:48 ◼   ► talked about it which we talked about we

00:48:49 ◼   ► had a mercury post-mortem was like you

00:48:51 ◼   ► know what we didn't account for socks

00:48:52 ◼   ► and then I had to explain the time thing

00:48:55 ◼   ► by quoting john kennedy in the film

00:48:57 ◼   ► hidden figures and i had to say we go to

00:48:59 ◼   ► the moon we choose to go to the moon not

00:49:01 ◼   ► because it is easy but because it is

00:49:03 ◼   ► hard

00:49:03 ◼   ► oh yes i would say difficult but i think

00:49:05 ◼   ► he said hard but I that's the thing and

00:49:07 ◼   ► that's the thing with this and this is

00:49:08 ◼   ► why if it's 732 we failed mercury is

00:49:12 ◼   ► down my shiraki fucking dead for all we

00:49:14 ◼   ► know it's it's it's you know it's

00:49:17 ◼   ► calibrated with in centimeters

00:49:19 ◼   ► it's like if you see the movie hidden

00:49:20 ◼   ► figures no it's pretty really you don't

00:49:22 ◼   ► see ya i can just say he it's really i

00:49:25 ◼   ► thought was really good especially take

00:49:27 ◼   ► a kid too but like they're describing

00:49:29 ◼   ► like how they're going to have to nail

00:49:30 ◼   ► like it's one thing to get the mercury

00:49:32 ◼   ► like off the ground that is hard enough

00:49:35 ◼   ► yeah getting mercury into orbit and

00:49:37 ◼   ► bring it out of orbit and they had some

00:49:39 ◼   ► crazy analogy about you know like

00:49:40 ◼   ► shooting a shotgun across this many

00:49:42 ◼   ► football fields or something like that

00:49:43 ◼   ► it's not incredibly complicated to

00:49:46 ◼   ► thread that needle

00:49:47 ◼   ► oh yeah well you know i'm spending a lot

00:49:49 ◼   ► of time staring at the Saturn five

00:49:50 ◼   ► rocket yes you do

00:49:53 ◼   ► yeah I built the Saturn five

00:49:56 ◼   ► model rocket difficult budget uh well

00:50:00 ◼   ► shits it was three feet tall house was

00:50:04 ◼   ► in SDS it wasn't it was well those were

00:50:07 ◼   ► the motors i use I'm sorry but use it

00:50:08 ◼   ► but you got like a deal look at the

00:50:10 ◼   ► engine rocket I had 40 and collie shit

00:50:13 ◼   ► Sherlock

00:50:14 ◼   ► it was a massive massive rocket during

00:50:16 ◼   ► my model rockets 44 caliber of s these

00:50:19 ◼   ► engines it was a big big operation this

00:50:22 ◼   ► thing and i launched it successfully and

00:50:27 ◼   ► it went away

00:50:30 ◼   ► oh it all it went so high that I mean

00:50:36 ◼   ► and this was at a model rocketry event

00:50:38 ◼   ► where people were shooting when we were

00:50:39 ◼   ► in the giant field lady with with we're

00:50:42 ◼   ► at a job that I was spacing interesa

00:50:45 ◼   ► hello

00:50:46 ◼   ► you may know me as Saturn 5 is that your

00:50:52 ◼   ► handle on the BBS yeah we were we were

00:50:55 ◼   ► uh that but still is I have it I have it

00:50:58 ◼   ► on the back of my truck in stick-on

00:51:00 ◼   ► letter 75 channel 14

00:51:06 ◼   ► breaker breaker we were dying filled

00:51:10 ◼   ► with no trees around it we just went

00:51:13 ◼   ► away people were launching rockets all

00:51:15 ◼   ► day and when and catching them as they

00:51:18 ◼   ► returned on their giant parachutes this

00:51:20 ◼   ► saturday 5 rocket had huge parachutes it

00:51:23 ◼   ► went up so high that it went away

00:51:26 ◼   ► oh my no one could I couldn't see it

00:51:29 ◼   ► anymore no one could see it anymore and

00:51:30 ◼   ► then we couldn't we just couldn't see

00:51:32 ◼   ► anything

00:51:33 ◼   ► it's like a James Bond local situation

00:51:35 ◼   ► where the sky is big and you would have

00:51:38 ◼   ► to at some point it has two are not dark

00:51:41 ◼   ► but it has two curve over and come back

00:51:43 ◼   ► down somewhere something it seems like

00:51:46 ◼   ► that it has to blow its it stopped and

00:51:49 ◼   ► the parachute comes out and then you run

00:51:51 ◼   ► or you get in the car and chase it but

00:51:54 ◼   ► it just was gone haha and i spent a lot

00:51:57 ◼   ► of time on this rocket and had also like

00:51:59 ◼   ► a long time before launching it i

00:52:01 ◼   ► completed a long time before launching

00:52:03 ◼   ► it and had just had it right

00:52:04 ◼   ► found and just would go look at it and

00:52:07 ◼   ► caress it tonight scratchbuilt many

00:52:09 ◼   ► parts for it and had laborious Lee made

00:52:11 ◼   ► it look like a Saturn 5 I mean I mean

00:52:14 ◼   ► obviously made out of cardboard but it

00:52:15 ◼   ► was a it was something that mattered a

00:52:18 ◼   ► lot to me and it just went away i still

00:52:20 ◼   ► wonder what happened it was a it was

00:52:23 ◼   ► truly a puzzle and the adults agreed

00:52:26 ◼   ► that it was a puzzle and everyone was

00:52:27 ◼   ► extremely impressed by it it went off

00:52:30 ◼   ► like a rocket literally and made a huge

00:52:35 ◼   ► noise and what it was just tore ass into

00:52:38 ◼   ► the sky and it was a thrilling moment

00:52:43 ◼   ► and then it kept going which was also

00:52:45 ◼   ► thrilling and then it just kept going

00:52:46 ◼   ► and it was like what am i what

00:52:50 ◼   ► what now I expected to realize that the

00:52:52 ◼   ► universe telling you with that one haha

00:52:54 ◼   ► i mean i thought i would retrieve it and

00:52:56 ◼   ► launch it again a million times 75 and

00:53:00 ◼   ► it definitely like that was the moment

00:53:02 ◼   ► that I kind of walked away from the

00:53:04 ◼   ► rocket filled with my head held down and

00:53:07 ◼   ► people going like it's okay Charlie

00:53:09 ◼   ► Brown music playing yeah and you know

00:53:12 ◼   ► Mike I was stuck in a tree except it

00:53:13 ◼   ► wasn't even in a tree

00:53:15 ◼   ► there's no tricky it just because you

00:53:17 ◼   ► didn't indicate mean for ya

00:53:19 ◼   ► it just went up and up and up and was

00:53:20 ◼   ► gone all the ceiling and it wasn't even

00:53:22 ◼   ► a thing where that we're email you saw

00:53:25 ◼   ► the parachute and it floated off into

00:53:27 ◼   ► the next County

00:53:28 ◼   ► it just I don't just kept flying it went

00:53:30 ◼   ► all the way to have it might still be up

00:53:32 ◼   ► there John God wanted it gone so they're

00:53:35 ◼   ► short one angel is right beside or five

00:53:38 ◼   ► that's right little Saturday Bob and I

00:53:40 ◼   ► can only imagine that some kid in some

00:53:43 ◼   ► suburban neighborhood some faraway place

00:53:46 ◼   ► it was like it was like the Playboy

00:53:47 ◼   ► bunny coming in through the window

00:53:49 ◼   ► yeah haha oh my god it was like what the

00:53:52 ◼   ► 75 just landed in my backyard

00:53:56 ◼   ► mmm i think they got out at seven thirty

00:53:58 ◼   ► one today and cool they can't get out at

00:54:01 ◼   ► seven thirty will get enough to leave

00:54:03 ◼   ► the house I see I see what you're saying

00:54:04 ◼   ► remember the goal of this mercury

00:54:06 ◼   ► mission is 730 unique notice that yeah

00:54:09 ◼   ► 730 is we've left the house

00:54:11 ◼   ► it cannot have swept second to 3730 we

00:54:15 ◼   ► need to be out of house by seven thirty

00:54:17 ◼   ► actually

00:54:18 ◼   ► it's going to explode but you were

00:54:20 ◼   ► saying that 732 was already too late but

00:54:22 ◼   ► where does 731 well this is so yesterday

00:54:24 ◼   ► I took her in

00:54:25 ◼   ► and so I was running the project but as

00:54:27 ◼   ► I say that we didn't account for socks

00:54:28 ◼   ► now we've actually found some socks she

00:54:31 ◼   ► was not happy with the socks at all

00:54:33 ◼   ► hmm she likes to save her old socks i

00:54:36 ◼   ► say those socks too small with those

00:54:37 ◼   ► wishes has no save them put them in the

00:54:39 ◼   ► sewing box so now I'm putting socks in

00:54:41 ◼   ► the box but no no mouse in the house let

00:54:45 ◼   ► me active yeah when you put the socks in

00:54:48 ◼   ► the box what's your long-term plan does

00:54:49 ◼   ► she want a quilt made out of them went

00:54:51 ◼   ► well the socks in the Box much like the

00:54:52 ◼   ► clocks are things that I it's like me

00:54:55 ◼   ► explaining molecules that's how I feel I

00:54:57 ◼   ► feel like I feel like like like I i just

00:55:00 ◼   ► want Stickley I don't actually

00:55:01 ◼   ► understand molecules but I feel like I

00:55:03 ◼   ► feel like I'm constantly every time i

00:55:04 ◼   ► say it's 712 that means you have to get

00:55:08 ◼   ► out in eight within 18 minutes before

00:55:10 ◼   ► the House explodes I feel like I'm

00:55:11 ◼   ► saying I think i'm constantly giving her

00:55:13 ◼   ► trouble for what a neutron like how many

00:55:16 ◼   ► moles the air-conditioning ways like I

00:55:18 ◼   ► feel like I'm going well there's a 300

00:55:20 ◼   ► molecules in a bit do because again you

00:55:22 ◼   ► keep saying that like you just keep

00:55:24 ◼   ► saying these words like you keep saying

00:55:25 ◼   ► 712 like it's meaningful understand

00:55:27 ◼   ► those are all numbers and I'm familiar

00:55:28 ◼   ► with like no this represents the passage

00:55:31 ◼   ► of time the big black fucking clock is

00:55:34 ◼   ► moving all the time I tried to explain

00:55:36 ◼   ► molecules to my dad every day and she

00:55:38 ◼   ► did that thing where she turned and

00:55:39 ◼   ► looked out the window

00:55:40 ◼   ► hmm i was like oh did I lose your

00:55:44 ◼   ► attention i have where we've gotten to a

00:55:46 ◼   ► point i don't know how I let this get to

00:55:47 ◼   ► this point we've got to the point where

00:55:49 ◼   ► basically my daughter is not paying

00:55:50 ◼   ► attention to me or she thinks she's in

00:55:52 ◼   ► trouble and that is a needle the disc

00:55:54 ◼   ► Mercury program is constantly having to

00:55:55 ◼   ► thread

00:55:56 ◼   ► those are the two options for example

00:55:58 ◼   ► attention to have the conversation about

00:56:01 ◼   ► the new plan the new Mercury plan that

00:56:02 ◼   ► we're putting in place

00:56:03 ◼   ► this is a conversation we had two

00:56:06 ◼   ► afternoons ago and it's been real mellow

00:56:08 ◼   ► I was okay just come here for a second

00:56:10 ◼   ► look what I don't know just just compare

00:56:12 ◼   ► minute like I'm doing dishes I just want

00:56:14 ◼   ► to talk to you like four seconds they're

00:56:15 ◼   ► not in trouble

00:56:16 ◼   ► I i had to say you're not in trouble and

00:56:20 ◼   ► then and then she's bringing her comic

00:56:22 ◼   ► books with her

00:56:23 ◼   ► god bless her she was going to read your

00:56:24 ◼   ► comics talk and say hey look at me

00:56:28 ◼   ► let's just talk from which is what and

00:56:30 ◼   ► said you're too you're not in trouble I

00:56:32 ◼   ► just want to talk to you in a way where

00:56:34 ◼   ► you're not picking out the next parks

00:56:35 ◼   ► and rec on netflix i want you to come

00:56:37 ◼   ► here and I want to talk to you and

00:56:39 ◼   ► you're not in trouble

00:56:40 ◼   ► I just want to talk about something she

00:56:42 ◼   ► says what I said look morning's

00:56:46 ◼   ► morning's are becoming stressful you cry

00:56:50 ◼   ► a lot in the morning now it's kind of

00:56:53 ◼   ► fake cry but like there's no crying in

00:56:55 ◼   ► the morning a lot now just to get to

00:56:57 ◼   ► this conversation and now she's scared

00:56:59 ◼   ► now she's put down our comic books she's

00:57:01 ◼   ► gotten a piece of printer paper and a

00:57:02 ◼   ► marker and she started to write down

00:57:04 ◼   ► what I'm saying oh my goodness really is

00:57:06 ◼   ► she doing it a genuinely or she don't

00:57:09 ◼   ► you know she misses your head

00:57:10 ◼   ► he thinks season and not the thing is I

00:57:13 ◼   ► think you can probably guess I'm not

00:57:14 ◼   ► like a and a mad angry yelling add like

00:57:16 ◼   ► I'm hot

00:57:17 ◼   ► she's pretty rarely in trouble but yet

00:57:20 ◼   ► she's so intimidated she brings a piece

00:57:22 ◼   ► of paper she starts making a longhand

00:57:25 ◼   ► schedule with the title how to make

00:57:27 ◼   ► mornings better

00:57:29 ◼   ► Oh number one is make a sketch but so we

00:57:34 ◼   ► really are cut from the same cloth the

00:57:36 ◼   ► same as saying something about logistics

00:57:38 ◼   ► use a three by five card know she was

00:57:40 ◼   ► picked big piece of printer paper

00:57:42 ◼   ► well ordinarily she would just grab one

00:57:44 ◼   ► of my expensive fresh notebooks right on

00:57:46 ◼   ► one page and then that would be how she

00:57:47 ◼   ► did it

00:57:48 ◼   ► no no it'sit's the sitting there I'll

00:57:50 ◼   ► probably hang on to that because I

00:57:50 ◼   ► thought that was fun

00:57:51 ◼   ► you don't have to tell you yesterday

00:57:52 ◼   ► they got better you know we still we

00:57:55 ◼   ► still wrecked my curio yeah but I and

00:57:58 ◼   ► then today so again i'm sitting there in

00:57:59 ◼   ► my underpants on the steps watching them

00:58:01 ◼   ► was like I mean you guys be plus four

00:58:02 ◼   ► days is pretty good and like be plus we

00:58:05 ◼   ► need p+ like we're leaving we're not

00:58:06 ◼   ► late like haha you're not late but

00:58:09 ◼   ► you're also not on time

00:58:10 ◼   ► oh yeah mercury crashes if you don't

00:58:13 ◼   ► leave here at seven by seven tell you

00:58:16 ◼   ► gotta get out clock dad daddy isn't

00:58:18 ◼   ► crazy things like crazy just organ

00:58:20 ◼   ► daddy's gotta play a project plan

00:58:23 ◼   ► yes you know my big hack that that

00:58:26 ◼   ► differentiates me from everyone else in

00:58:28 ◼   ► my family is that I make no assessment

00:58:32 ◼   ► of my daughter's costume

00:58:35 ◼   ► the only thing I ever say to her about

00:58:38 ◼   ► her outfit is you have good style she

00:58:42 ◼   ► must take it out herself entirely

00:58:45 ◼   ► ok so that must be fun this is the

00:58:48 ◼   ► problem with every everyone else in the

00:58:50 ◼   ► house which is that for everyone else in

00:58:52 ◼   ► the whole family which is that they have

00:58:54 ◼   ► opinions about what she's wearing

00:58:58 ◼   ► or do you think maybe sometimes they

00:59:00 ◼   ► want to like the unintentionally like

00:59:02 ◼   ► when a reward her for either being

00:59:04 ◼   ► creative or pretty high

00:59:08 ◼   ► I feel like at least in the case of her

00:59:10 ◼   ► mother her mother has is also someone

00:59:13 ◼   ► for whom style and fashion her mother's

00:59:18 ◼   ► and her mother's a dish

00:59:19 ◼   ► well and you know and like treats her

00:59:22 ◼   ► own clothes as as a you know that's the

00:59:26 ◼   ► thing she thinks a lot about and yeah

00:59:29 ◼   ► does a very good job with and so she has

00:59:34 ◼   ► feelings about these costumes and my mom

00:59:39 ◼   ► also has feelings about the costumes but

00:59:42 ◼   ► all based on practicality like my mouth

00:59:45 ◼   ► that's not gonna get the weather is this

00:59:48 ◼   ► or this is laid out a day for floor

00:59:50 ◼   ► length tulle ya later on to you know

00:59:53 ◼   ► later on in the day we have to do this

00:59:54 ◼   ► so you need this with that and those

00:59:56 ◼   ► shoes don't match with these and my mom

00:59:58 ◼   ► is very matching met

00:59:58 ◼   ► is very matching met

01:00:00 ◼   ► hmm and as you know about me style also

01:00:04 ◼   ► matters to me but I am a mixed pattern

01:00:06 ◼   ► type idea you're kind of a coaster easy

01:00:09 ◼   ► costa rican breakfast of a man

01:00:11 ◼   ► absolutely just like if you because if

01:00:14 ◼   ► you feel like it goes secret sparkly

01:00:17 ◼   ► covered with spots

01:00:18 ◼   ► that's right what white soft not about

01:00:20 ◼   ► not a problem bring it all in and take

01:00:23 ◼   ► the fuck you there's eggs take three

01:00:26 ◼   ► kinds of hashing you want white gravy

01:00:28 ◼   ► you want sausage gravy or brown gravy

01:00:30 ◼   ► what he saw

01:00:31 ◼   ► yes and yes and is the a.m some dishes

01:00:34 ◼   ► just keep them coming

01:00:36 ◼   ► my own my latest thing is can I don't

01:00:38 ◼   ► want toast or hash browns

01:00:41 ◼   ► can I get one pancake

01:00:42 ◼   ► [Music]

01:00:45 ◼   ► well now you have not for people have

01:00:48 ◼   ► not eat now with you it is a peculiar

01:00:49 ◼   ► joy of eating out with you you to have

01:00:52 ◼   ► the come to Jesus discussion with the

01:00:54 ◼   ► waiter

01:00:54 ◼   ► yeah because I I first I thought you

01:00:56 ◼   ► were just being a little silly but like

01:00:57 ◼   ► where you actually say and listen I

01:00:59 ◼   ► don't want to its kind of Ron Swanson

01:01:01 ◼   ► where you going to do something I don't

01:01:02 ◼   ► want not what the potatoes give me the

01:01:04 ◼   ► extra vegetables or something that we

01:01:07 ◼   ► didn't know that to hear anything with

01:01:09 ◼   ► you two fingers in the eyes look look

01:01:11 ◼   ► right here know if they're used to say

01:01:14 ◼   ► that if there are any potatoes brought

01:01:17 ◼   ► to the table i will send them back and

01:01:19 ◼   ► there will be a problem but don't click

01:01:21 ◼   ► don't get potatoes near my food

01:01:23 ◼   ► yeah that's right i don't want them I

01:01:25 ◼   ► don't you know the whole thing where i'm

01:01:26 ◼   ► like i love fruit instead of potatoes

01:01:28 ◼   ► and then they bring fruit and potato

01:01:30 ◼   ► you'd understand you did in stages you

01:01:33 ◼   ► just wrecked mercury no no bring us

01:01:35 ◼   ► separately bring another plate start

01:01:37 ◼   ► over new table potatoes are gone

01:01:39 ◼   ► that's right everybody up we're going to

01:01:41 ◼   ► start we're going we're going to come in

01:01:42 ◼   ► the door against Miguel ron Hubbard like

01:01:45 ◼   ► the master moment you begin to get but

01:01:48 ◼   ► but the wonderful thing is ninety-eight

01:01:50 ◼   ► percent of the time now when I say no

01:01:53 ◼   ► toast no potatoes one pancake the server

01:01:57 ◼   ► looks up at the sky doesn't food math

01:02:02 ◼   ► and and takes a takes her pan or his pen

01:02:05 ◼   ► and taps it to their lip and then says I

01:02:11 ◼   ► can do that

01:02:12 ◼   ► and there's a moment where it feels like

01:02:14 ◼   ► it feels like it feels like it might be

01:02:15 ◼   ► a scam

01:02:16 ◼   ► yeah it was like you it feels like one

01:02:18 ◼   ► of those like okay I want to get rid of

01:02:20 ◼   ► some of this money can you give me a ten

01:02:22 ◼   ► for two twenties or you know whatever

01:02:24 ◼   ► Yeah right there would be the other way

01:02:25 ◼   ► with ya tonight yeah exactly cannot get

01:02:28 ◼   ► how about no potatoes double steak I

01:02:29 ◼   ► want to change I want to change this

01:02:31 ◼   ► hundred-dollar bill ok now five twenties

01:02:33 ◼   ► and 410 actually let's get rid of

01:02:35 ◼   ► somebody and you do you have a paper

01:02:36 ◼   ► moon on them but they look up and they

01:02:38 ◼   ► think and they picture a plate of toast

01:02:42 ◼   ► and a picture hash browns and I think

01:02:46 ◼   ► they realize that one pancake is less

01:02:49 ◼   ► than but they also less than those so

01:02:52 ◼   ► it's a deal in that sense or I mean but

01:02:55 ◼   ► I also feel like they have to make the

01:02:57 ◼   ► toast right

01:02:59 ◼   ► oh really this becomes a kind of like

01:03:01 ◼   ► existential breakfast algebra

01:03:04 ◼   ► yeah that's right i mean there's there

01:03:06 ◼   ► it yes there's the food part are you

01:03:08 ◼   ► trying to get away with something but I

01:03:09 ◼   ► was like you know what

01:03:10 ◼   ► not a fan of making toast I would be

01:03:12 ◼   ► totally okay just have somebody else

01:03:13 ◼   ► make a pancake

01:03:14 ◼   ► yeah I all have to do now is ring the

01:03:16 ◼   ► bell and say pancake I don't have to say

01:03:20 ◼   ► here's the order and now I've got to go

01:03:22 ◼   ► make less work and easy custom thing to

01:03:25 ◼   ► do

01:03:26 ◼   ► I mean that's less work than giving you

01:03:28 ◼   ► a coffee refill that might be a better

01:03:29 ◼   ► tip also and so-and-so ninety percent of

01:03:33 ◼   ► the time they're like I can do that two

01:03:34 ◼   ► percent of the time they say that's

01:03:36 ◼   ► going to cost you a dollar which is fine

01:03:38 ◼   ► if a dollar i'll pay the fucking dollar

01:03:41 ◼   ► for a pancake

01:03:42 ◼   ► yeah but that but the the real twister

01:03:45 ◼   ► is are they going to bring that pan care

01:03:47 ◼   ► on a separate plate where it belongs

01:03:51 ◼   ► we're going to bring that pancake

01:03:52 ◼   ► touching said this is what happened

01:03:55 ◼   ► yesterday with where the potatoes would

01:03:56 ◼   ► have been where exactly so I was like

01:03:58 ◼   ► I'll have the pork cutlet with with eggs

01:04:05 ◼   ► and she was like done and I said and a

01:04:09 ◼   ► pancake no toast no potatoes a pancake

01:04:11 ◼   ► and she was like I can do it and then it

01:04:15 ◼   ► came on the same plate which isn't a

01:04:18 ◼   ► problem exactly except the port Cutler

01:04:22 ◼   ► was covered with white gravy

01:04:25 ◼   ► yeah i mean the pancake in that case

01:04:27 ◼   ► again not that much more effort putting

01:04:29 ◼   ► the pancake on its own on a plate would

01:04:31 ◼   ► be a lot more fancy well sure but if

01:04:34 ◼   ► you're putting syrup on a pancake you

01:04:36 ◼   ► know there's going to be a place in the

01:04:37 ◼   ► Middle where you've got syrup white

01:04:40 ◼   ► gravy and eggs and I was like oh I see

01:04:44 ◼   ► what you're saying

01:04:45 ◼   ► I said Emma into this i might be

01:04:48 ◼   ► yeah I know I I i see this is why I like

01:04:52 ◼   ► a monkey dish I like a separate plate

01:04:53 ◼   ► like a monkey i'm not i'm not even that

01:04:55 ◼   ► weird about food touching but one of my

01:04:56 ◼   ► latest technologies when we go to the

01:04:58 ◼   ► diner around the corner you've been to

01:04:59 ◼   ► my daughter always get the same thing

01:05:01 ◼   ► she always gets the pancakes sausage and

01:05:04 ◼   ► scrambled eggs she doesn't meet my new

01:05:07 ◼   ► thing is mushroom cheese burger with

01:05:09 ◼   ► side monkey dish of white sausage gravy

01:05:11 ◼   ► oh hello one wow so now I got I got I

01:05:15 ◼   ► got a mushroom cheese burger with

01:05:17 ◼   ► crinkle fries

01:05:18 ◼   ► yeah and I got a side dish of white

01:05:20 ◼   ► sausage gravy so now i can deploy a

01:05:23 ◼   ► little dollop of catch up next to the

01:05:26 ◼   ► fries a dollop of mayonnaise next to the

01:05:28 ◼   ► french fries i'm now deploying three

01:05:30 ◼   ► different sauces freely

01:05:32 ◼   ► oh my god and you're dipping fries and

01:05:34 ◼   ► all three and everything's going in all

01:05:36 ◼   ► of them and the burger and all three so

01:05:38 ◼   ► you know what you know what you hear

01:05:39 ◼   ► what you didn't hear it was me going oh

01:05:41 ◼   ► I put a bunch of shit on my burger no no

01:05:43 ◼   ► longer it can will be transmogrified

01:05:46 ◼   ► into anything if i want to put a french

01:05:48 ◼   ► fry on this but i can't i can deploy any

01:05:50 ◼   ► of those sauces and in that case the

01:05:52 ◼   ► monkey dishes the key

01:05:54 ◼   ► yeah we'll see i do this exact thing

01:05:55 ◼   ► they're doing i put ketchup on the plate

01:05:57 ◼   ► and dip the burger in the catcher

01:05:59 ◼   ► because that's the only way that should

01:06:02 ◼   ► be the third thought technology you get

01:06:03 ◼   ► a dish you think about time and they

01:06:06 ◼   ► deploy sauces tactical sauce but then i

01:06:09 ◼   ► asked for a couple o jus oh god I gotta

01:06:12 ◼   ► start doing that and there's yeah they

01:06:14 ◼   ► got a French Dip I don't want that much

01:06:16 ◼   ► fucking bread I don't get a french dip

01:06:18 ◼   ► but i wish i could get the juice there's

01:06:19 ◼   ► there is nothing that you can't dip

01:06:21 ◼   ► knows you Sokka french fry knows you

01:06:24 ◼   ► that is good but anything I mean you

01:06:27 ◼   ► could dip a piece of chocolate cake and

01:06:28 ◼   ► a man yeah you take you a mushroom

01:06:30 ◼   ► cheese burger it's got some red onion

01:06:32 ◼   ► got something made out you dip just just

01:06:34 ◼   ► the tip of like you taking a bite and a

01:06:36 ◼   ► little tip on the bite Egypt that in

01:06:38 ◼   ► a little bit of sausage gravy dip that

01:06:40 ◼   ► little to get a little teary sausage

01:06:42 ◼   ► gravy

01:06:43 ◼   ► this is bananas she's good when you

01:06:45 ◼   ► don't have an app that's the this is

01:06:48 ◼   ► exactly what this is exactly the kind of

01:06:50 ◼   ► like let's put every sauce on it that I

01:06:54 ◼   ► that's how i approach dressing

01:06:56 ◼   ► ok yes something next pivot and my and

01:07:00 ◼   ► muscle my so what I do with with my kid

01:07:02 ◼   ► is I make some make some breakfast for

01:07:07 ◼   ► her and half the time it's just one egg

01:07:10 ◼   ► in a coffee cup which is this point this

01:07:13 ◼   ► house have been trying to do too much

01:07:15 ◼   ► success it's alec yeah what are you

01:07:17 ◼   ► gonna copy come sometimes it's a little

01:07:19 ◼   ► bit of granola with with a dollop of

01:07:22 ◼   ► yogurt on it like she get that the

01:07:24 ◼   ► practice tests

01:07:25 ◼   ► she's pretty cool about Shelly and

01:07:28 ◼   ► actually a hard-boiled egg even which I

01:07:30 ◼   ► wouldn't do there you know like a

01:07:32 ◼   ► hard-boiled egg not you wouldn't ask for

01:07:35 ◼   ► it if you give me a hard boiled egg and

01:07:38 ◼   ► I put it in my pocket and carry it with

01:07:39 ◼   ► me on the trail

01:07:41 ◼   ► ok like alcohol and jager well Jean

01:07:44 ◼   ► right now what we call this little

01:07:45 ◼   ► sausages with yellow and jager plan your

01:07:47 ◼   ► laundry laundry girl I nagar there we'll

01:07:50 ◼   ► get it there will be a time in the

01:07:52 ◼   ► middle of the day when I'm hungry and

01:07:54 ◼   ► I'm Way out on the trail and there's no

01:07:55 ◼   ► place to get any food that i'll pull

01:07:56 ◼   ► that takeout

01:07:57 ◼   ► I feel very situational situational and

01:08:00 ◼   ► contextual about public like a boiled

01:08:02 ◼   ► egg that I've just made in my very

01:08:04 ◼   ► special wake of a very special way and I

01:08:06 ◼   ► go to New York Times I put a put on a

01:08:09 ◼   ► hole with a needle you do that on your

01:08:11 ◼   ► eggs you get a hard book but the other

01:08:13 ◼   ► hand like a bed-and-breakfast of bread

01:08:15 ◼   ► bed-and-breakfast like knock on the door

01:08:17 ◼   ► they want to give you a hard-boiled egg

01:08:18 ◼   ► what is it but with those places in

01:08:20 ◼   ► fucking hard boiled eggs that's that

01:08:21 ◼   ► snake i do not want no I don't want to

01:08:23 ◼   ► rank keep your egg and your German

01:08:25 ◼   ► muffin like yeah I don't want it when

01:08:27 ◼   ► you when you go downstairs at the german

01:08:29 ◼   ► Pensione and there's a bass tick

01:08:33 ◼   ► mastic effects if you have a if you have

01:08:37 ◼   ► a sticker breakfast and you're just like

01:08:39 ◼   ► dark as shown

01:08:42 ◼   ► yeah but here's what i want i want some

01:08:44 ◼   ► toast with Jam actually

01:08:46 ◼   ► I don't get what I want and what I want

01:08:49 ◼   ► and I want some cold cuts and one of

01:08:52 ◼   ► your heart buns and then get me out of

01:08:55 ◼   ► here gonna hit the trail but so anyway I

01:08:58 ◼   ► microwave an egg

01:08:59 ◼   ► I she eats it we're having a good time

01:09:01 ◼   ► in the morning because it's just like

01:09:02 ◼   ► you know it's just the two of us without

01:09:04 ◼   ► without trying saying too much to

01:09:06 ◼   ► provide triangulation like you other are

01:09:08 ◼   ► days where you have to get her to school

01:09:09 ◼   ► lots yeah like how like roughly how long

01:09:11 ◼   ► is it from your walk doors there's no

01:09:15 ◼   ► walking it's a it is a half hour drive

01:09:17 ◼   ► ok ok all right good ok that's what the

01:09:20 ◼   ► problem is it's a half hour dry it's a

01:09:22 ◼   ► 20-minute drive if you leave if

01:09:25 ◼   ► everybody if it were told way that you

01:09:27 ◼   ► needed things to work and people keep

01:09:29 ◼   ► moving it out of the way

01:09:30 ◼   ► yeah but-but-but traffic changes within

01:09:34 ◼   ► that 10 minutes if you don't leave I'll

01:09:38 ◼   ► i know this one idea exactly what you do

01:09:40 ◼   ► is to get this was the commute down to

01:09:42 ◼   ► the peninsula was like within this

01:09:44 ◼   ► 30-minute window the traffic would come

01:09:48 ◼   ► you could add two hours to the trip by

01:09:50 ◼   ► they don't half an hour later if you

01:09:51 ◼   ► leave at seven twenty to my house in 722

01:09:55 ◼   ► you are you are in the game and you

01:09:58 ◼   ► don't understand why I give a b-plus for

01:10:00 ◼   ► a failed mercury mission but what you're

01:10:02 ◼   ► dealing with every morning 722 722 you

01:10:06 ◼   ► into x 7 x star 722 you can stop at the

01:10:09 ◼   ► gas station and have an additional

01:10:11 ◼   ► breakfast of a couple of chicken strips

01:10:13 ◼   ► you could have an emergency travel Joe

01:10:15 ◼   ► yeah daddy can get a coffee

01:10:17 ◼   ► yeah if you leave to get a map believe

01:10:20 ◼   ► it I could I could get a tire pressure

01:10:22 ◼   ► gauge which if you leave at seven thirty

01:10:24 ◼   ► two haha yeah you're sitting in traffic

01:10:28 ◼   ► and yeah well mr. ah yeah so so what I

01:10:32 ◼   ► say is at a certain point I look at the

01:10:34 ◼   ► clock and I go go get dressed and she

01:10:37 ◼   ► lollygag for one and a half seconds and

01:10:42 ◼   ► I say what did I say go get dressed and

01:10:44 ◼   ► then she disappears

01:10:45 ◼   ► now God and reappears often in the most

01:10:52 ◼   ► fantastical outfits you will have ever

01:10:54 ◼   ► seen i love this already like flowered

01:10:56 ◼   ► parents

01:10:58 ◼   ► a plaid skirt a you know like a mohair

01:11:03 ◼   ► sweater that i didn't know she had some

01:11:06 ◼   ► kind of like rain jacket and cowboy

01:11:09 ◼   ► boots are you know like cheating him she

01:11:11 ◼   ► finds all this stuff and I'm like look

01:11:14 ◼   ► at and I go great

01:11:15 ◼   ► here we go and the only issue is come

01:11:19 ◼   ► out of that room dressed in some costume

01:11:22 ◼   ► by this moment and if she doesn't all I

01:11:26 ◼   ► have everyone's a real liberal arts

01:11:28 ◼   ► approach like how you do this however

01:11:30 ◼   ► you want but you have exactly one

01:11:32 ◼   ► fitness criterion which is that we I

01:11:35 ◼   ► mean by you could ultimately 17 but you

01:11:37 ◼   ► say when i see you next you need to be

01:11:40 ◼   ► in this state

01:11:41 ◼   ► that's right you know you should be

01:11:42 ◼   ► headed toward the door and be able to

01:11:44 ◼   ► make if I if I get to the door before

01:11:46 ◼   ► you do an open it you should be able to

01:11:48 ◼   ► continue be able to start throwing your

01:11:50 ◼   ► keys through the air

01:11:51 ◼   ► yeah at seven 2159 yeah and you just be

01:11:56 ◼   ► you walk out of that room and be

01:11:58 ◼   ► prepared to keep walking and then and

01:12:00 ◼   ► that's the point at which I'm throwing

01:12:01 ◼   ► her hastily made lunch into her back

01:12:04 ◼   ► back and i'm putting my own coat and hat

01:12:09 ◼   ► on and so she ninety-five percent of the

01:12:13 ◼   ► time appears in some costume but i think

01:12:16 ◼   ► is magical that would drive both of her

01:12:19 ◼   ► other caretakers right up the wall for

01:12:22 ◼   ► potentially different reasons for

01:12:24 ◼   ► different reasons

01:12:25 ◼   ► yeah i do not care particularly if her

01:12:28 ◼   ► hair is a rat's nest because my hair's

01:12:31 ◼   ► around interesting and so I don't worry

01:12:33 ◼   ► about how that reflects on you now I'll

01:12:35 ◼   ► grab one of those little ponytail rubber

01:12:38 ◼   ► bands and I'll throw it onto the top of

01:12:41 ◼   ► her head in some way not like a it not

01:12:43 ◼   ► so that the ponytail sticking up not to

01:12:46 ◼   ► meet with but I grabbed her hair and

01:12:48 ◼   ► pull it to the side and put a little top

01:12:51 ◼   ► ponytail on it so it hangs down high and

01:12:54 ◼   ► tuck your hair behind your ears and go

01:12:56 ◼   ► good and she goes down good and we're

01:12:58 ◼   ► out

01:12:59 ◼   ► and so I think that she likes it because

01:13:03 ◼   ► compared to her morning's elsewhere

01:13:07 ◼   ► it feels like a team effort yeah

01:13:10 ◼   ► and she gets to go to school and the one

01:13:13 ◼   ► she's not getting beef

01:13:14 ◼   ► no there's no beef she's the only beef

01:13:16 ◼   ► is why are you it's 720 145 where the

01:13:21 ◼   ► fuck are you

01:13:22 ◼   ► right did you get distracted did you get

01:13:25 ◼   ► lost in your room you know what happens

01:13:27 ◼   ► when you get lost in your room happens

01:13:29 ◼   ► that while you're fucking late and then

01:13:31 ◼   ► daddy standing at the front door going

01:13:33 ◼   ► well let's move

01:13:36 ◼   ► yeah but like what if what if she's

01:13:37 ◼   ► looking at dust that's falling from from

01:13:39 ◼   ► ceiling and look at books that got moved

01:13:41 ◼   ► around if she's trying to discern her

01:13:43 ◼   ► future she absolutely does and then but

01:13:46 ◼   ► at that point it's my problem because I

01:13:49 ◼   ► should be on my game enough that at

01:13:52 ◼   ► seven-twenty I'm saying let's let's move

01:13:55 ◼   ► if I haven't seen you at seven-twenty

01:13:57 ◼   ► let's move and often i'm not only yeah I

01:14:00 ◼   ► know 7 28 mins me that's the problem

01:14:04 ◼   ► yeah and then if I do open her door she

01:14:08 ◼   ► absolutely is staring up at the dust

01:14:10 ◼   ► coming down staring up trying to figure

01:14:11 ◼   ► out what a fucking neutron is marf and

01:14:15 ◼   ► and it you know and it's like oh we're

01:14:17 ◼   ► late now and that's because i was also

01:14:19 ◼   ► staring up at the Panda corner of the

01:14:22 ◼   ► room

01:14:23 ◼   ► oh boy look at that mhm so i came home

01:14:26 ◼   ► daddy is also the problem but we both

01:14:31 ◼   ► subject we walk out of that house we

01:14:33 ◼   ► both look like polly wachee you know

01:14:38 ◼   ► oh yeah

01:14:42 ◼   ► [Music]