The Incomparable

341: Might As Well Keep Going


  it's not brain science its rocket [TS]

  surgery this is the wizard of Mars [TS]

  horrors of the red planet the [TS]

  Intolerable number 341 februari 2017 [TS]

  welcome back everybody to be [TS]

  uncomfortable it's time again for our [TS]

  wonderful rocket surgery where we watch [TS]

  a very bad movie from a specific decade [TS]

  to decade is the sixties the movie is [TS]

  the wizard of Mars retitled later [TS]

  horrors of the red planet from 1965 it [TS]

  stars john carradine in the exact way [TS]

  that he stars in several films if it as [TS]

  a floating head who appears at the end [TS]

  of the movie [TS]

  I'm Jason Snelling and joining me in [TS]

  this very if it's anything like the [TS]

  movie boring adventure where nothing [TS]

  happens when people get a chance to ask [TS]

  Steve let's hello [TS]

  yeah so this is a bad bad movie yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah it's like we're kinda [TS]

  didn't like but I'm jumping ahead just a [TS]

  little [TS]

  yeah I David jail or hello hello [TS]

  I i just want to say let's just leave [TS]

  these here they wouldn't have lasted [TS]

  very long anyway [TS]

  uh-huh Phil Michaels happy new year to [TS]

  tooth [TS]

  dude i just want to say that there is [TS]

  nothing about this episode that is that [TS]

  is not ill conceived in the least I [TS]

  think I think that's probably true and [TS]

  Monty Ashley who watched this movie a [TS]

  few weeks ago and said oh I have some [TS]

  bad news [TS]

  it's super boring marty was right [TS]

  haimanti uh-huh [TS]

  I'm sorry I feel like somebody turn down [TS]

  the oxygen while I was asleep but I just [TS]

  crack your oxygen intake that'll fix our [TS]

  sweet [TS]

  oh dude due to its through their [TS]

  students in here so the wizard more as [TS]

  we may be struggling although i have [TS]

  lots of notes I had nothing else to do [TS]

  but right now yeah because nothing [TS]

  happened to movie many many notes in [TS]

  this thing because i was sure if I [TS]

  didn't take extensive notes i would [TS]

  immediately forget everything that [TS]

  happened in the movie and I was right [TS]

  i'm looking at the notes right now and I [TS]

  have no recollection of any of this so [TS]

  can the rantings of a mad man [TS]

  yeah so it's a movie about astronauts [TS]

  who crash-land on Mars and then end up [TS]

  sort of paralleling ok the premises [TS]

  there in hurling up wat no no they [TS]

  aren't [TS]

  oh the wizard of oz I read and watch the [TS]

  wizard alive [TS]

  it's nothing like this no story does not [TS]

  check out doesn't even sink the Dark [TS]

  Side of the Moon friends say yeah and [TS]

  you were there and she was there is i [TS]

  can see there are exactly 3 references [TS]

  in this entire movie to the wizard of oz [TS]

  that's how many i have so i don't reject [TS]

  that premise so now the the smart thing [TS]

  they did is when they when they put this [TS]

  movie on video or maybe even later [TS]

  releases they retitled The Wizard of [TS]

  Mars which makes you think of something [TS]

  maybe fantastical and wizard of oz like [TS]

  but set on Mars which is not the movie [TS]

  we watched they renamed horrors of the [TS]

  red planet which is also not the movie [TS]

  we watched you know there are Horrors in [TS]

  the movie it does lead to the single [TS]

  funniest thing in this entire movie [TS]

  which is the opening credits read John [TS]

  Garrity as horrors of the red planet [TS]

  well the best part about that is if the [TS]

  original font is this gigantic spacey [TS]

  font and it says like all across the [TS]

  screen and huge letters starring john [TS]

  carradine as and then there's this sad [TS]

  little horrors of the red planet that [TS]

  pops up yeah Steve I want you to count [TS]

  down the parallels between this and [TS]

  wizard about ok there may be more than [TS]

  three but I've got 32 so honestly if [TS]

  you're three is the same as my three so [TS]

  my three is one of the characters is [TS]

  named Dorothy and wear silver shoes [TS]

  there you go nowhere silver shoes [TS]

  they're in a spacesuit that doesn't [TS]

  count but she's wearing silver shoes in [TS]

  the opening in the opening bit and [TS]

  certainly her name is Dorothy no one's [TS]

  disputing that [TS]

  yes right i think the second one is [TS]

  probably the yellow brick road [TS]

  yes the Golden Road run across the road [TS]

  at look like 45 minutes into the movie [TS]

  uh-huh and then the third is is floating [TS]

  head that's all I had [TS]

  I don't think that's enough to say that [TS]

  this is a tall based well enough to [TS]

  title your movie after the wizard of oz [TS]

  apparently i would like to do a dramatic [TS]

  reading of the first sentence of the [TS]

  IMDb will be descriptions this episode [TS]

  is already better than I thought it [TS]

  would be [TS]

  this is one of the cruelest descriptions [TS]

  that I have ever read another visit the [TS]

  normally you know let's withhold [TS]

  judgment IMDb says in 1974 for [TS]

  astronauts silver shoot glad Dorothy [TS]

  overweight doc that goofy Charlie and [TS]

  wooden Steve wouldn't steal a plane on [TS]

  Mars [TS]

  yeah I don't know who should be more [TS]

  offended doc who is merely big-boned not [TS]

  really that overweight you're skiing on [TS]

  his overclock he's his spacesuit is very [TS]

  tight fitting yeah I'll say that much [TS]

  for his broad shoulders know he's a big [TS]

  guy he's trying to lead a crew [TS]

  I mean charlie is in fact goofy and [TS]

  infantile God if they had murdered him [TS]

  on the the red planet no one would have [TS]

  thought that would have been much better [TS]

  movie [TS]

  shame on you IMDb for fruit for that I i [TS]

  gotta say i enjoyed Charlie's capering [TS]

  of all the things in this movie I think [TS]

  Charlie was probably one of the less [TS]

  execrable he's performing like the [TS]

  classic stupid wacky comic relief lines [TS]

  but he performs them well yes he's [TS]

  supposed to be annoying and he also has [TS]

  got nails it [TS]

  he has to carry the big emotional scene [TS]

  where he has a breakdown and I don't [TS]

  think he's up to that amount but they're [TS]

  really also has the scene where he [TS]

  overcomes his fears and decides to get a [TS]

  boost from CD [TS]

  yes to put us on orbit a hole to save [TS]

  the day we'll get there [TS]

  well with one ruin it an astronaut mind [TS]

  you sir it reportedly schooled in the [TS]

  ways of science and doc is taking his [TS]

  rock samples and Charlie's acting on [TS]

  racks Rach Rach Rach Rach he's a [TS]

  billionaire CEO doesn't care [TS]

  no I wasn't there so that we have these [TS]

  wonderful for astronauts they're flying [TS]

  to Mars in a in a space airplane yeah [TS]

  alright little at the front of it looks [TS]

  like the front but eighth of an iron [TS]

  like a clothes iron and the rear shot [TS]

  looks like a tealight a little light [TS]

  that's been wedged into one of those [TS]

  things Janet Jackson had under nipple [TS]

  during the superbowl performance haha [TS]

  that's what I took out of it ya know [TS]

  it's a [TS]

  guess that's the finest space that's [TS]

  your Hollywood whether you drive could [TS]

  provide yeah and it produces a [TS]

  surprising amount of black smoke that [TS]

  drifts off into space also a lot of [TS]

  lightning and space that day unusual [TS]

  lightning was get where we are civilized [TS]

  yes there was a storm so it is it is New [TS]

  Year's Day 1975 the far future of 10 [TS]

  years in the future from the hexagon [TS]

  happy new year due to be happy new year [TS]

  they say happy new year dude there's no [TS]

  delay in the radio signals back home to [TS]

  earth [TS]

  hey there's it's not you know thank God [TS]

  yet but it's just like there are better [TS]

  on their CB radio talking to earth and [TS]

  we should also discuss the design of the [TS]

  inside of Mars probe 1 [TS]

  yes it seems to be constructed entirely [TS]

  of large sheets of plywood and [TS]

  electronic guitar tuners and there are [TS]

  also two periscopes for some reason [TS]

  because somebody forgot to put in a [TS]

  windshield don't forget the view masters [TS]

  so that yes and now see what's happening [TS]

  with the Cinderella slide that you [TS]

  bought that's Dorothy's job we did very [TS]

  good of them have a woman on the team [TS]

  her job is to also look through a [TS]

  periscope yes Dorothy and Doc each get a [TS]

  camera scope to be fair which is what [TS]

  they call the periscopes that descend [TS]

  from the ceiling and there is a small [TS]

  viewscreen in the front that the i guess [TS]

  the important guys comic relief and [TS]

  wooden Steve get to use right and we [TS]

  watch a surprising amount of the first [TS]

  10 minutes of the movie through that [TS]

  little window that takes about one third [TS]

  of the screen [TS]

  uh-huh to good use of screen real estate [TS]

  they're wearing a short-sleeved [TS]

  jumpsuits with turtlenecks that's the [TS]

  space [TS]

  yeah outfit here there's some really [TS]

  nice really sweet reel-to-reel tapes [TS]

  going on in the ship I i thought i was a [TS]

  nice touch [TS]

  pretty pretty yeah there's a moment [TS]

  where doc he takes a moment out from [TS]

  looking through his camera scope to [TS]

  stare blankly at the reel-to-reel for no [TS]

  apparent reason but it's very important [TS]

  because we spend several seconds [TS]

  Washington and they have to correlate [TS]

  their cameras in order to approach Mars [TS]

  where they're going to i wrote at this [TS]

  point this this scene has all the [TS]

  excitement of watching someone set up [TS]

  for a photo shoot like this is that [TS]

  are unfolding the tripod we're getting [TS]

  out the lights [TS]

  gotta run the extension cord it's like [TS]

  wow this is really exciting [TS]

  they're going to take pictures of Mars [TS]

  later this is a space procedural what do [TS]

  you want yeah i wrote down some very [TS]

  boring talk about image stabilizer [TS]

  circuit when they could be establishing [TS]

  a character for at least one person and [TS]

  for some reason the camera scopes which [TS]

  we see the dramatic view through the [TS]

  camera scopes as they're being [TS]

  correlated feature some sort of an [TS]

  overlay or a heads-up display that [TS]

  prominently includes letters indicating [TS]

  north west east miss out which makes a [TS]

  lot of sense in the face of this pre [TS]

  printed on the periscopes when they got [TS]

  them [TS]

  OIC they repurpose those from some other [TS]

  program ourselves in that space related [TS]

  yeah from from maybe an airplane instead [TS]

  of a space airplane [TS]

  yes because north south east and west [TS]

  make a lot of sense looking out of a sub [TS]

  periscope to anyway there's a there's [TS]

  there's pulsating light and a lightning [TS]

  bolt [TS]

  any attempt to even vaguely scientific [TS]

  immediately flees the movie we're [TS]

  experiencing small pitch small pitch i [TS]

  wrote that down too [TS]

  yeah he presses a couple of buttons on [TS]

  his plywood console and the stabilizers [TS]

  corrected but it was a pretty tense [TS]

  moment there they did have a technical [TS]

  advisor it was Forrest J Ackerman [TS]

  legendary hey naturally fan of stuff [TS]

  yeah well I hope he got the first dibs [TS]

  at the at the at the lunch table or [TS]

  something for his work here [TS]

  oh there was no lunch on the wizard said [TS]

  you don't think so everyone was hungry [TS]

  and angry and scarves that were provided [TS]

  too much energy to the cast what happens [TS]

  next in this film is that a spacecraft [TS]

  Mars probe won the first mission to [TS]

  orbit Mars and take pictures of it is [TS]

  going to go through space lightning and [TS]

  crash-land on Mars they are they're [TS]

  going to approach something of monstrous [TS]

  size so monsters they must turn up the [TS]

  scanner and then they then they there is [TS]

  an exciting crash scene that happens yes [TS]

  so they were not planning on crap on [TS]

  landing there at all real no it's gonna [TS]

  into na and it all happens because of [TS]

  the space light although it took me two [TS]

  viewings to realize that now that I've [TS]

  described that let me explain to you [TS]

  what actually [TS]

  happens which is nothing like literally [TS]

  you know what we joke about how in Star [TS]

  Trek they like shake the camera and the [TS]

  people pretended that doesn't happen [TS]

  here but the ship doesn't move that we [TS]

  see various shots of people in a scream [TS]

  they very commonly described that [TS]

  they're going down and they and then [TS]

  they crash-land now wait that's not [TS]

  entirely fair because you're completely [TS]

  discounting the scene where overweight [TS]

  doc female escorts a fire extinguisher [TS]

  at a sparkler that is stuck in the [TS]

  rafters there is or there clearly not on [TS]

  fire and he stops even though it's still [TS]

  sparking it's he does he affectionately [TS]

  sprays it in his general direction but [TS]

  absolutely does not put it out while he [TS]

  realizes that it's not going to be [TS]

  cleaned out and he just doesn't want to [TS]

  waste any more effort if you got your [TS]

  brainpower to other things overweight [TS]

  doc the column a day which is also [TS]

  interesting because of course who's out [TS]

  it's not like you're a boat floating in [TS]

  the in the in the Bay or something like [TS]

  that made a we're going down this is [TS]

  Mars probe one they jettison the main [TS]

  stage [TS]

  I don't really know why they do that and [TS]

  and then as they're going down we see [TS]

  more far-off drawings of the surface of [TS]

  Mars as if they were getting closer to [TS]

  it [TS]

  ma and and then they have to put their [TS]

  pressure suits on because who knows what [TS]

  will happen the the the whole might [TS]

  rupture on their descent into Mars so [TS]

  they put on their their spacesuits and [TS]

  then there's a lot of um I mean they cut [TS]

  away to the screen for a very long time [TS]

  well while dubbed in dialogue plays a [TS]

  very long time but we do see as we're [TS]

  descending to the surface of Mars the [TS]

  view screen showing a clear blue sky [TS]

  rolling over as they put on their [TS]

  pressure suits I I don't want to get to [TS]

  park out of the riveting plot summary [TS]

  here [TS]

  yes thank you I budget is green but [TS]

  between the the no I mean your day [TS]

  you're doing yeoman's effort i don't [TS]

  have to come after casting I know the [TS]

  problem is pretty fast in this movie so [TS]

  you could literally some this movie up [TS]

  in about 30 seconds and you you are [TS]

  built your building we won't let your [TS]

  hair know from not and better you than [TS]

  me but between the you mentioned the [TS]

  voice-over and the fact [TS]

  they're in spacesuits and they could not [TS]

  have the director of this movie could [TS]

  not have figured out more ways to to put [TS]

  you at a removed from the characters by [TS]

  not being able to see them or their [TS]

  faces or obscuring much of their [TS]

  expressions so that all you basically [TS]

  here is the the simply adding dialogue [TS]

  if the wizard of Mars it it was just a [TS]

  disastrous decision after another of of [TS]

  how to construct a narrative that know [TS]

  how to bring you into a story and [TS]

  throughout the movie i SAT there while [TS]

  and eventually they're going to have to [TS]

  let us see the faces of the people who [TS]

  are actually acting in this movie are [TS]

  currently no no now they're not that [TS]

  would be ill-advised it's you it's so [TS]

  bizarre mean one of my notes is this is [TS]

  as close as I've ever seen a movie come [TS]

  to simply being pushing around still [TS]

  photos with narration and looks but it's [TS]

  like every person i mean some of them [TS]

  are clearly dubbed in most other ppl [TS]

  Dorothy feels to be entirely dubbed in [TS]

  yes she's totally don't know if she was [TS]

  something like Italian model they mad [TS]

  and be able to get hurt doc yeah we are [TS]

  going to crash on Mars all we got a [TS]

  deferential dammit why did we cast her [TS]

  you know why the best move when you hire [TS]

  an Italian model for your film is to put [TS]

  her in a shapeless spacesuit good well [TS]

  she's beautiful we're putting her in a [TS]

  smock for the movie doc we're going to [TS]

  pass on Mars and and the one guy sounds [TS]

  like he was recorded in a warehouse yeah [TS]

  the whole movie it's not just that [TS]

  they're dubbed in because they're [TS]

  dumping a lot but there-there dubbed in [TS]

  when they cut to that shot as the [TS]

  crashing they cut that shot of the [TS]

  screen there's like no sound like [TS]

  they're just they're there and they're [TS]

  in an empty soundstage recording [TS]

  dialogue [TS]

  for a while it's amazing and then when [TS]

  the space shoots you expect kind of like [TS]

  some breathing and like maybe a little [TS]

  filter on it like they're talking on the [TS]

  radio's and all that nope no down [TS]

  tonight [TS]

  darth vader you yeah nope there's none [TS]

  of that either now has anybody else [TS]

  bothered by how filthy the spacesuits [TS]

  are throughout this entire thing [TS]

  well it's a plot point right at the end [TS]

  we have to see the trophy spacesuit so [TS]

  that we know they start out filthy [TS]

  alright well they look like they were [TS]

  used for some other show and has dropped [TS]

  off at the the costume department and [TS]

  then never cleaned it seems like you're [TS]

  complaining about the continuity of the [TS]

  history of Mars [TS]

  well I was complaining about the [TS]

  continuity the spacesuits they have [TS]

  these nasty filthy what looks like [TS]

  diving suits and then is crazy snazzy [TS]

  gold motorcycle helmet on the top it's a [TS]

  lived-in universe like a star works like [TS]

  Star Wars actually it's totally this [TS]

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  apron a better way to cook I supposed to [TS]

  be wise at this point to point out that [TS]

  this this was apparently made for [TS]

  thirty-three thousand dollars the [TS]

  princely sum of thirty three thousand [TS]

  dollars and it's show and how much of [TS]

  that was spent beyond drunk carrying and [TS]

  after it failed as a movie he did it as [TS]

  a stage show with special effects for [TS]

  the audience which probably cost more [TS]

  than 33,000 dollars a night to make I [TS]

  can't even imagine they made something [TS]

  that vaguely resembles a movie for [TS]

  thirty-three thousand dollars i mean i [TS]

  think that's somewhat impressive [TS]

  yeah i think there's probably somebody [TS]

  who's never seen a movie for whom this [TS]

  film would be exactly what they think a [TS]

  movie might be which is that there's [TS]

  people and they have it it is science [TS]

  fiction movie they have adventure they [TS]

  walk on Mars and meet a man who was a [TS]

  floating head what what you want from [TS]

  movies mean it does i don't know what [TS]

  that means Russian but he's rushing [TS]

  apparently that was talking about babies [TS]

  but so this was his first one and it [TS]

  looks and feels and sounds and plays [TS]

  like like a high school project we have [TS]

  we did a thing on science fiction films [TS]

  and like 11th grade we had to make one [TS]

  most of them looked like this yeah right [TS]

  a little better you know but it's just a [TS]

  thing of okay we're in a spaceship now [TS]

  we're walking on the planet and now we [TS]

  have the big floating head that sort of [TS]

  explains everything and then we leave [TS]

  three grand though I mean the film stock [TS]

  had to cost almost that much and there's [TS]

  a process shot or two in there so there [TS]

  are actual effect yeah so when they [TS]

  crash-land the crash land is very gentle [TS]

  and that we never see it but there you [TS]

  know but then they're on the surface of [TS]

  Mars they do have a there's a really [TS]

  debate a good debate here Charlie who is [TS]

  our our malcontents comic relief guy and [TS]

  annoying he/she the the Dorothy wants to [TS]

  send a mayday call from the surface of [TS]

  Mars and Charlie's arguments look lady [TS]

  we could call for help or we could go [TS]

  outside and wander around on the surface [TS]

  of Mars to which i think the captain [TS]

  says Charlie's got a good point fellas [TS]

  diapers about to now at this point they [TS]

  introduced the important plot point of [TS]

  oxygen [TS]

  yes [TS]

  as every other time dimension oxygen [TS]

  immediately run away from it actually [TS]

  being a problem the the keyline here [TS]

  Monty about how much oxygen they have is [TS]

  we have about 90 hours of oxygen that's [TS]

  less than four days that's just good [TS]

  sign good first day Ackerman nods from [TS]

  the sidelines yes story checks out for [TS]

  us to be accurate sense they're going to [TS]

  open their suits intake valves when they [TS]

  go outside and the tiny bit of oxygen in [TS]

  Mars atmosphere will somehow supplement [TS]

  their existing oxygen supplies and also [TS]

  turn their oxygen down at night could [TS]

  you don't need while you're sleeping [TS]

  sure no lord knows you don't need to [TS]

  breathe while you sleep [TS]

  so now it's off to explore the majestic [TS]

  matte paintings of ya [TS]

  oh man worthy is mocked for work be [TS]

  worried about this whole place they [TS]

  crashed by the a canal a Martian canal [TS]

  right and so they're going to go by raft [TS]

  to the designation they brought right [TS]

  exit the ship with these gigantic [TS]

  bundles which turned out to be these [TS]

  really crappy inflatable rafts like [TS]

  every good Mars pro has at least two of [TS]

  those because you never know when you're [TS]

  gonna need a raft in space they were [TS]

  planning on landing i think they were [TS]

  just going to go outside and float [TS]

  around the whitewater rafting on Mars is [TS]

  one of its greatest canals man let me [TS]

  see if I i can you so this thing has [TS]

  three things like like The Wizard of Oz [TS]

  i think i can name three things that has [TS]

  that are just like Frankenstein island [TS]

  yeah okie also showing killing a key a [TS]

  key raft discarding seen yeah we're [TS]

  wrapping discarded movies hate raft so [TS]

  much you know what the draft for full of [TS]

  by the way air [TS]

  yeah that's the only thing that the plot [TS]

  and below the there's a brain in a jar [TS]

  which leads to a floating john carradine [TS]

  brain and the chillies green energy i [TS]

  was going to suggest the pulsating balls [TS]

  of light of which there are plenty and [TS]

  Frankenstein island there are many you [TS]

  know if they had only thrown in a jock [TS]

  oh I would have been sold [TS]

  charlie is closed if only Charlie a gun [TS]

  haha [TS]

  but he didn't go full Jocko he didn't [TS]

  get any point now you never go full [TS]

  choke out [TS]

  no no that this is actually where I I I [TS]

  really became angry absolutely yes I [TS]

  yeah I I realized what are we about 20 [TS]

  minutes into a 25-minute CL and did [TS]

  feels like money [TS]

  yeah 3 weeks ago and because the premise [TS]

  of the movie you're stranded on Mars [TS]

  you're running out of air that that's an [TS]

  exciting movie you have as well as [TS]

  demons as TVs matt damon proved in the [TS]

  big screens the Martian hey there the [TS]

  classic stories man versus man and man [TS]

  versus nature and man vs food where [TS]

  you're trying to lose this food I like [TS]

  those Looney Tunes cartoons where the [TS]

  two stowaways they see each other as hot [TS]

  dogs and hamburgers into exactly [TS]

  yeah exactly and and and you do not have [TS]

  to be rated freaking oh Henry to come [TS]

  the story that of that [TS]

  where where where you're you're trying [TS]

  to get rid of excitement in the starch [TS]

  and this manages to actually squander [TS]

  the dramatic potential of yeah we're [TS]

  going to run out of here soon and then [TS]

  boy this really makes makes us take [TS]

  stock of who we are because there was [TS]

  interminable scenes of them growing [TS]

  never wanted row they just sit in their [TS]

  raft doesn't immediately once they get [TS]

  into these two these two crappy wraps [TS]

  that are barely big enough to fit [TS]

  basically a billion an inner tube with a [TS]

  six pack of budweiser exudes more effort [TS]

  than these clowns who are trying to find [TS]

  something on Mars doc immediately [TS]

  announces the current will keep us in [TS]

  midstream what current clearly setting [TS]

  it up on and there's zero water movement [TS]

  of any content and that's not what the [TS]

  current does for a film in which their [TS]

  characters are traversing the surface of [TS]

  Mars other than when they're walking [TS]

  through the sand the all of the raft [TS]

  stuff they we are led to believe that [TS]

  they're moving but they never moved they [TS]

  never moved in the pond and they never [TS]

  moved in the cave in fact in the cave at [TS]

  one point they fade out on the guy and [TS]

  then they fade back in on the guy and [TS]

  it's literally the same shot and he says [TS]

  well it's been four days and we've gone [TS]

  further down into the cave at once I [TS]

  won't hesitate it's been pretty says we [TS]

  think it's been about four days which [TS]

  means they brought rafts and guns but [TS]

  not watches and they have watches but [TS]

  they stopped working [TS]

  yes they did this opportunity that [TS]

  simply and turns out we find out why [TS]

  these guys are astronauts right so you [TS]

  know when they land and the guy says we [TS]

  don't know how much daylight we have [TS]

  left any one of them should know how [TS]

  long a martian day is right it's about [TS]

  the same linkers an Earth Day which [TS]

  makes it even easier [TS]

  well we're going to seek the means [TS]

  they're looking for the main stage this [TS]

  is what they're doing [TS]

  come on like a bunch of idiots at [TS]

  bonnaroo i love the part where they're [TS]

  there on the river and they drift [TS]

  through quote-unquote these fog machines [TS]

  going haywire it it's just all of a [TS]

  sudden fog and at one point the fall [TS]

  completely obstruct everything it's like [TS]

  that might be the best seen in movies [TS]

  just hey I can't see the movie there [TS]

  also we should say they're all the [TS]

  dialogue here is dubbed in its this [TS]

  we're back to just like and it's dull [TS]

  and Phil Phil is exactly right like at [TS]

  the amazing thing for a movie that isn't [TS]

  a complete failure at every turn at [TS]

  every turn [TS]

  there's an opportunity to do something [TS]

  it's just interesting and nope nope not [TS]

  interested in doing that let now we're [TS]

  going to shoot this from about quarter [TS]

  mile away from the closest thing to [TS]

  something interesting in this movie so [TS]

  far happens right here where they get [TS]

  there they're in the turbulent canal was [TS]

  just going home in midstream haha and [TS]

  they drift into our first example of [TS]

  Martian fauna which i believe is the [TS]

  first of the a4 mentioned horrors of the [TS]

  red play is Sir they're giant tapeworms [TS]

  yeah I thought they were centipede some [TS]

  floating paper towel rolls this one look [TS]

  at they look like pool noodles that [TS]

  somebody has painted white [TS]

  they have leaves four feet and one [TS]

  climbs onto Charlie in his sleep but it [TS]

  it just seems to want to hug it doesn't [TS]

  they're not really that that menacing [TS]

  the tapeworms Charlie's response is to [TS]

  shoot the crap out of them [TS]

  well I off-screen is clearly just [TS]

  prodding the rafts with one of the pool [TS]

  noodles [TS]

  it's not the best puppeteering in [TS]

  they're a little less articulated than [TS]

  the devil dogs that were on mystery [TS]

  science theater that's what they [TS]

  reminded me of this yes jim has been [TS]

  really nailed this one is what you're [TS]

  saying [TS]

  yeah mrs. so obvious there's just a [TS]

  crewmember just off-screen kind of [TS]

  feebly poking at the raft with lesbians [TS]

  stupid tapeworms we're lucky state [TS]

  off-screen they enter the shotgun the [TS]

  hell out of them pass and tell captain [TS]

  steve says charlie try and fend them off [TS]

  while we get back to deeper water at [TS]

  which point sharpie stop shooting the [TS]

  first time in the last 10 minutes who [TS]

  again these guys are in inflatable [TS]

  rubber raft while they're going nuts [TS]

  with their job yes which to the movies [TS]

  credit they actually do mention after [TS]

  he's got maybe 30 round ya boy careful [TS]

  not to shoot one of the raft [TS]

  oh thanks good news everybody they have [TS]

  they have arrived at a cave certainly [TS]

  infant know how they said wedge between [TS]

  a bunch of stalagmites the yeah there's [TS]

  a cave this is just stupid i am at how [TS]

  stupid I am as they got to the case and [TS]

  I thought well now it's gonna take off [TS]

  now this is going to improve [TS]

  dramatically because if you are really [TS]

  studio this is where the movie stops [TS]

  they literally are acting as if as if [TS]

  that they have been going downstream yet [TS]

  they never move from where they're [TS]

  sitting in a still pond inside a cave [TS]

  they also that the explanations that [TS]

  they floated into the cave and now can't [TS]

  get can't get back out which doesn't [TS]

  make any sense because unless they [TS]

  passed out or something they should [TS]

  probably be able to like get back out of [TS]

  the cave the current isn't running that [TS]

  hard guys I think you could get out of [TS]

  this is where that it fades out and back [TS]

  in and he says well we've been going [TS]

  here we've been in here a long time now [TS]

  and it's like literally they have not [TS]

  moved at all been here five hours five [TS]

  hours and no sign of a way out when [TS]

  you're just sitting in one place [TS]

  not even paddling you idiot there's some [TS]

  steam and yes it is supposed to be [TS]

  exciting but they they literally I [TS]

  cannot for people who have not seen this [TS]

  movie I cannot emphasize enough there is [TS]

  dialogues that suggests that there is [TS]

  excitement happening here but nothing is [TS]

  happening like literally nothing nobody [TS]

  is moving you're envisioning in your [TS]

  head a scene where people are paddling [TS]

  through a through cave [TS]

  and-and-and-and there's like a different [TS]

  camera angles and things [TS]

  no they set up inside of a pond in a [TS]

  cave and just shot everything as if they [TS]

  were pretending to go downstream I don't [TS]

  think it's even a pond I think it's not [TS]

  more than six inches deep [TS]

  I can see why this would be great on [TS]

  stage though because literally that's [TS]

  what everything is just sitting on a [TS]

  state with wraps on a stage in the early [TS]

  going i assumed that that they had a [TS]

  state had thought that at some point [TS]

  somebody was going to make it look like [TS]

  they're moving in post but had that been [TS]

  the case you would have expected them to [TS]

  be moving around as though there was [TS]

  some turbulence or some current or [TS]

  something and they're not they're just [TS]

  sitting in place is just sitting there [TS]

  clearly not moving in totally glassy [TS]

  water [TS]

  yep that's it that's the cave where in a [TS]

  cave guys yep it's still ok what I'm [TS]

  trying to say this movie is great i mean [TS]

  i really felt like I was lost in the [TS]

  cave so so they do and again Franklin [TS]

  and parent parallel here it is they do [TS]

  get rid of the rafts because who needs [TS]

  rafts that Monty's point they're [TS]

  probably full of oxygen where we're [TS]

  going we don't need this weekend we [TS]

  might be my native to go down another [TS]

  body of water later nope they're like we [TS]

  don't need them they wouldn't last much [TS]

  longer anyway [TS]

  discard the rafts we're done yeah the [TS]

  dotted line dialog is no bother with [TS]

  that let me go I think the idea is that [TS]

  the raft somehow are becoming more [TS]

  inflated as they're sitting in them yes [TS]

  now they actually mentioned them these [TS]

  wraps are about to explode [TS]

  yeah and then and it left some of the [TS]

  air out of the raft [TS]

  yeah but now that it's not it's not [TS]

  helping to find somewhere to beach the [TS]

  raft [TS]

  yeah although i did is exciting to be in [TS]

  a cave so it's there's more Frankenstein [TS]

  island parallels get so you're right [TS]

  damn and many many long pans over the [TS]

  cave features that have nothing to do [TS]

  with the movie at all now you're right [TS]

  that's another man that's another [TS]

  parallel just that there are there are [TS]

  caves it's basically a pre-k this is the [TS]

  point at which i wrote down I wonder if [TS]

  mst3k never did this movie just because [TS]

  it is so don't like oh maybe there's [TS]

  nothing is happening nothing so many MST [TS]

  movies though that are similarly dull [TS]

  like this like monster ago go and [TS]

  sometimes those issues sometimes [TS]

  episodes are not good and sometimes they [TS]

  are rock climbing now [TS]

  rock climbing episode i forgot to write [TS]

  more sense storm [TS]

  yeah that but this this is basically it [TS]

  they looked at the rock climbing segment [TS]

  in that movie and said that is way too [TS]

  short just wanted to this sequence has [TS]

  one of the exciting moments when they [TS]

  find a rock formation that doc thanks [TS]

  look somehow familiar because it's [TS]

  justice to lag might and then they give [TS]

  up and walk away from it [TS]

  oh I i didn't mention frost rock [TS]

  Frankenstein island parallels character [TS]

  named doc yeah really [TS]

  so it's like here's here's this sequence [TS]

  of climbing and walking and walking and [TS]

  climbing and you can't do more than that [TS]

  and and horrors of of the red planet [TS]

  goes hold my beer [TS]

  yeah yeah I know I I actually thought [TS]

  that you could maybe do a really funny [TS]

  rift based on this but you would [TS]

  literally have to write just brand new [TS]

  dialog for all of the scenes and invent [TS]

  your own story i watched it again [TS]

  tonight to just refresh my memory and [TS]

  and I was doing that ya threw out it was [TS]

  just keep because I couldn't not [TS]

  yeah I actually think this is pretty [TS]

  pretty good material to be honest I've [TS]

  seen a lot of riffs / movies just this [TS]

  board yeah there's a lot of quiet spots [TS]

  that you can make jokes during oh yeah [TS]

  yes you can do you can do 30 minutes of [TS]

  stand-up in the middle of this movie and [TS]

  nobody's this point in the movie I [TS]

  actually began to think about Stanley [TS]

  Kubrick's use of sound because anything [TS]

  to avoid thinking about the actual movie [TS]

  is watching [TS]

  I started thinking about potatoes and [TS]

  the very reality because i was thinking [TS]

  about the baseball scores from the 90s [TS]

  and people who any wrong be i was [TS]

  speaking about um has tried your name [TS]

  cabinet officials from the first Reagan [TS]

  administration now but i was thinking [TS]

  about you know 2001 where they ok later [TS]

  the the the absence of sound is actually [TS]

  the sound and here the absence of sound [TS]

  is just because we don't know how to do [TS]

  sound no movie no idea we don't know [TS]

  anything about what our movies actually [TS]

  in fact as they transition from the cave [TS]

  cave to the lava cave which is just a [TS]

  cave with occasional stock photos of [TS]

  lava as reverse shots and they set fire [TS]

  to the parts of the set yep [TS]

  soundtrack changes to what I described [TS]

  in my notes as the chimes of bali wind [TS]

  chimes from the nature company because [TS]

  the soundtrack is just like do some wind [TS]

  chimes their run through some sort of [TS]

  distorting filter but that is [TS]

  effectively all the they seem to be I [TS]

  think I recognize those wind chimes is [TS]

  what i'm saying i think i got a set of [TS]

  those for my parents at one point and so [TS]

  we've walked through the same 10 yards [TS]

  of cave for about 45 minutes only to [TS]

  discover stock volcano foot yes and now [TS]

  that we're in the volcano they inch [TS]

  along the exact same Ledge about 30 time [TS]

  do while voiceover tries to explain the [TS]

  plot away that we must go forward into [TS]

  the flames because the cave leads [TS]

  nowhere [TS]

  why are they inching the legends like 10 [TS]

  feet wide but it's more dramatic because [TS]

  fire there's a very dramatic moment we [TS]

  don't get to watch where women Steve [TS]

  goes on ahead and we just see this other [TS]

  3w say oh there he is he's alright he's [TS]

  waving at us to come let's go [TS]

  we do know its perilous though because [TS]

  there's a process shot of somebody [TS]

  pouring strawberry jam for the jar on [TS]

  the left side of the screen that's right [TS]

  that's why wouldnt steve was pretty [TS]

  brave going out into the fire like yeah [TS]

  she's being that he's would negate your [TS]

  attack right on everybody that's what I [TS]

  mean it's a darn good thing they do [TS]

  hustle out because immediately after [TS]

  they get out of that hole in the ground [TS]

  somebody likes a roman candle this big [TS]

  spark where they have suffered some [TS]

  painful part [TS]

  oh yeah everything I say we don't know [TS]

  how Martian volcanoes work do we [TS]

  I don't think so I know that like you [TS]

  also get back we might all laughing [TS]

  about the science of Mars you've never [TS]

  been to Mars [TS]

  that's right that's right yeah well and [TS]

  that you know what would happen if I was [TS]

  on Mars my watches my watches would [TS]

  refuse to run as if time were forbidden [TS]

  which is what which is what we learn [TS]

  here as if they decide that there must [TS]

  be a way out of the grounds that all [TS]

  these volcanic makers must have been [TS]

  somewhere nervous and at that point i [TS]

  remembered they're pumping Martian air [TS]

  into their suits too huh [TS]

  that doesn't sound super healthy know [TS]

  also you know it does take human sized [TS]

  hole for gas to escape [TS]

  yeah if the gas is getting out i can get [TS]

  the whole logic of this entire thing is [TS]

  we might as well keep going forward [TS]

  because I'm sure there's a way out [TS]

  well i believe it was NASA's David Bowie [TS]

  who wants the house in the research [TS]

  paper is there life on Mars and now we [TS]

  know it's not exaggerating here when i [TS]

  say this i believe that approximately [TS]

  one-third of this film's hour and [TS]

  fifteen minute running time is for [TS]

  astronauts walking into a shot from the [TS]

  left stopping saying we've come this far [TS]

  we might as well keep going the rest of [TS]

  the way and then walking out of the shot [TS]

  to the right literally 130 the film is [TS]

  exactly that now the backgrounds change [TS]

  occasionally ok will do this three or [TS]

  four they did this for about 30 minutes [TS]

  in a cave then they did it 30 minutes on [TS]

  a ledge and now they're about to do a 30 [TS]

  minutes through the same to sand dunes [TS]

  but it's the exact same shot [TS]

  well we might as well keep going you [TS]

  know that summer vacation you took when [TS]

  you were a kid and you know your parents [TS]

  just made you go and and and they they [TS]

  made you go in in the raft and sit in [TS]

  the raft in the cave and they made you [TS]

  walk across and they made you walk past [TS]

  the volcano and they made you wear that [TS]

  stupid spacesuit that's essentially this [TS]

  is the home movie somebody's home movie [TS]

  without with our pilot filter i would [TS]

  rather watch slides of that summer [TS]

  vacation watch this movie ever again and [TS]

  then they got out the gas can and set [TS]

  fire to some of the local rocks rocks [TS]

  rocks are working out their memories of [TS]

  that that's what this movie is I'd I [TS]

  think it's like Robinson Crusoe were [TS]

  devote purposely wrote every day that [TS]

  Robinson lived through to create a [TS]

  boring tease experience so the reader [TS]

  would understand crew shows problem i [TS]

  think they decided to do that in this [TS]

  movie so the audience would feel like [TS]

  they've been deprived of oxygen and [TS]

  forced to walk for four solid days [TS]

  well mission accomplished i agree with [TS]

  you Monty and the reason is with a we [TS]

  discovered that their watches are [TS]

  useless and they refused to run is this [TS]

  time were forbidden and the next few [TS]

  scenes go along as if time were [TS]

  forbidden as people want to sand it does [TS]

  what it says on the tin man there is an [TS]

  endless voiceover and yes [TS]

  a time for more matte paintings in the [TS]

  voiceovers people walking in the sand [TS]

  I cannot emphasize how long this goes on [TS]

  it goes on a very long time well we've [TS]

  come this far [TS]

  we might as well keep going as well keep [TS]

  going until they finally find he the US [TS]

  Air Force BioLab capsule which is [TS]

  ironically funny don't you see don't you [TS]

  understand and F which point since it's [TS]

  not their cat it's another capsule after [TS]

  all but just a scout ship [TS]

  charlie is very angry and just begins to [TS]

  shoot a beer and Charlie's emotional [TS]

  breakdown [TS]

  Charlie response to every situation he [TS]

  shot all those pool noodles and now he [TS]

  shot this bio lab this is acting lessons [TS]

  Oscar clip man Charlie's good issue for [TS]

  Charlie and it's the right move as it [TS]

  turns out because he saves the day by [TS]

  shooting the the oxygen tank well I mean [TS]

  he shoots the stuff around the oxygen [TS]

  you probably didn't shoot the tank [TS]

  itself we shot the fuel line that was [TS]

  connected or the yellow line that was [TS]

  connected to the oxygen but they realize [TS]

  there's oxygen in the bio lab so that [TS]

  they're able to why there is when [TS]

  shooting solves everything [TS]

  it doesn't know they're able to refill [TS]

  refill their their oxygen tanks and not [TS]

  die [TS]

  thanks hooray i know yeah this is the [TS]

  point where I know [TS]

  damn it going well [TS]

  no they're gonna live everybody we love [TS]

  having good advertiser's support our [TS]

  show that's one of the things that keeps [TS]

  the lights on at the incomparable but in [TS]

  order to do that we need your help if [TS]

  you could go to pod survey dot-com / [TS]

  smell and take a quick anonymous survey [TS]

  will help us get to know you a little [TS]

  bit better and we can show advertiser's [TS]

  how great our listeners are so even if [TS]

  you've taken the lister survey before [TS]

  this one is new and different it would [TS]

  be great if you could give it a try [TS]

  take it one more time and once you've [TS]

  completed the survey you can enter to [TS]

  win a hundred-dollar amazon gift card [TS]

  that's pod survey dot-com / smell and [TS]

  thank you very much for your help but [TS]

  guess what there's a storm coming [TS]

  time for more stock lightning you have [TS]

  that structure and aniline that you [TS]

  might think that maybe inspired George [TS]

  Lucas many years later during sander [TS]

  gets into everything [TS]

  oh i thought it was hey I think I've [TS]

  found something that we're gonna be idea [TS]

  what [TS]

  so the the storm there's it gets dark [TS]

  and the storm is brewing and there's [TS]

  more lightning and and then the next [TS]

  morning they have they they awaken to [TS]

  discover that the storm has revealed [TS]

  some things is blown sand away and [TS]

  revealed things out in the desert where [TS]

  they are like a yellow brick road and [TS]

  there it is that storm was the tornado [TS]

  at the beginning of his 40 reference are [TS]

  very good looking for anything else was [TS]

  the Kansas period that's why it was so [TS]

  bored ok so 42 minutes in 42 minutes in [TS]

  we finally have found the yellow brick [TS]

  road [TS]

  alright yeah where does it lead that's [TS]

  what I'd like to know in in my notes [TS]

  this is so weird like that they all fall [TS]

  asleep there there there on the surface [TS]

  of Mars exposed a huge storm is brewing [TS]

  they have not found their capsule and [TS]

  and then they wake up and suddenly [TS]

  everything clears and there's this [TS]

  fantastical yellow brick road that leads [TS]

  to an alien City at which point i put i [TS]

  just wrote down i'm going to assume that [TS]

  they all died in the storm and this is [TS]

  just like there there this is their [TS]

  brain shutting down with that final [TS]

  moments oxygen being very when the was [TS]

  well-seasoned favors me yeah it is [TS]

  exactly it's like an incident at all [TS]

  Creek Bridge guy isn't imagining that [TS]

  just bookmark that they died they died [TS]

  in the USA FBI lab strict but we're [TS]

  gonna move on with this [TS]

  that's my headcanon anyway and I'm [TS]

  sticking to it so Charlie excitedly [TS]

  announces yeah but where does it lead [TS]

  that's what I'd like to know [TS]

  well it leads to another matte painting [TS]

  of course doesn't have to spend some [TS]

  money on their matte paintings there's [TS]

  there's a city the the city has [TS]

  apparently i guess had the same blown [TS]

  off it in the night that they suddenly [TS]

  can see this enormous City or maybe it [TS]

  was always there and they just needed [TS]

  the yellow brick road to take them there [TS]

  they needed the fog machines to turn off [TS]

  that could be in the city you know [TS]

  what's the best thing about the city in [TS]

  the city you can breathe so you can take [TS]

  off your spacesuit it's a little musty [TS]

  but it's fine [TS]

  I i laughed when when they go into the [TS]

  city and they find that that everything [TS]

  is covered in cobwebs because i was [TS]

  laughing like like because they're like [TS]

  oh it's been dead for millions of years [TS]

  and I'm thinking well the theaters [TS]

  cobweb so they're going to be spiders [TS]

  and [TS]

  no what again again I'm gonna refer to [TS]

  you from the research by david bowie for [TS]

  NASA the spiders from Mars easy [TS]

  this movie has got that one covered [TS]

  because they say except for the spiders [TS]

  or whatever passes for spiders here and [TS]

  I was like wow ok movie you patch the [TS]

  single plot hole but where were the [TS]

  spiders as I like those flies were [TS]

  trying to break our balls like a leper [TS]

  messiah yeah all right all in favor of [TS]

  breaking Steve sweet and raise your hand [TS]

  I'm gonna have to break up the band if [TS]

  you do that so i really would recommend [TS]

  against it for 45 minutes and we've come [TS]

  this far away to keep going [TS]

  just take a breath shall we all die they [TS]

  all died it's fine [TS]

  they just got here and said that oxygen [TS]

  thing was too much work for even us [TS]

  yes it was just a plot point forget [TS]

  entirely right so you'll be shocked to [TS]

  learn that they said this lovely [TS]

  abandoned ancient castle that is [TS]

  apparently chock-full of oxygen consists [TS]

  of one Hall one always switch which we [TS]

  will walk in front of for the next 20 [TS]

  minutes to camera angle which consists [TS]

  of just columns and adore you have [TS]

  several color several columns but but if [TS]

  you if you imagine Steve the grandeur [TS]

  that that the movie wants us to believe [TS]

  in [TS]

  yeah these are a series of passageways [TS]

  all leading to some sort of central area [TS]

  interesting do you think that's never [TS]

  answered what he thinks it's like what [TS]

  would that be like the center is no no [TS]

  nobody does here no way no how [TS]

  but what they discover is that they have [TS]

  these columns they're not columns after [TS]

  all their tubes and there's something [TS]

  inside [TS]

  oh and it's a puppet of an alien oh I [TS]

  think the guy in a suit [TS]

  you think so yeah it's all property to [TS]

  me [TS]

  yeah well there is that mask in other [TS]

  movies that where there's clearly a guy [TS]

  inside like there's a guy in there here [TS]

  though I think it's just on a planet or [TS]

  something yeah yeah if there were a guy [TS]

  there were deep more [TS]

  the puppet barely move yeah doesn't [TS]

  register much in the way of expression [TS]

  just started but you didn't call wooden [TS]

  Steve a puppet I was too busy at this [TS]

  point puzzling over the fact that after [TS]

  spending four days in the desert and a [TS]

  volcano in those filthy filthy pressure [TS]

  suits that their space uniforms [TS]

  underneath are still spotlessly clean [TS]

  this was nineteen sixty four people knew [TS]

  how to live back then i guess so all the [TS]

  German army and was like they were [TS]

  sealed it was set hermetically sealed [TS]

  its fuck they opened up their value yeah [TS]

  that's true [TS]

  you got me what the point was stealing [TS]

  their own juices in with it i had [TS]

  choices [TS]

  yeah so the cylinder it turns out that i [TS]

  guess and this is what game I'm applying [TS]

  too much logic to this movie but i guess [TS]

  the alien race that is on Mars has for [TS]

  some reason place themselves in these in [TS]

  these cylinders in a sort of suspended [TS]

  animation except the alien puppet is [TS]

  looking at them Charlie's convinced it's [TS]

  looking right at him but I think doc [TS]

  says no no I think it just senses our [TS]

  presence like you that i don't like is [TS]

  looking at me yeah i can get you it's [TS]

  it's let's see you in technical to your [TS]

  presence [TS]

  it's sensing you with it sighs yeah [TS]

  slide is a sense he's looking at me get [TS]

  another doctor says medically inaccurate [TS]

  he's a doctor he has a dr dancer and [TS]

  overweight according to him apparently [TS]

  thinks I'm to be body shaming IMDb we [TS]

  skip the bit where they discovered the [TS]

  door that they somebody yeah i was just [TS]

  a relation we had mentioned the little [TS]

  fried out outlines of bodies that I mean [TS]

  you know there are only six things in [TS]

  this movie we really need to go over all [TS]

  six of ok ok if we don't honestly [TS]

  well there's a there's a wall and [TS]

  somebody's been trying to cut through it [TS]

  and there's some humanoid shape piles of [TS]

  ash nearby that indicate that somebody [TS]

  who was trying to cut through it [TS]

  apparently got torched yeah and and one [TS]

  of the columns also is a it has been [TS]

  broken open which is suspicious [TS]

  there's a great seat well I say put [TS]

  great in some quotes yeah [TS]

  Jacqueline literally accidentally turns [TS]

  on the cutting torch [TS]

  and we've been like 15 seconds watching [TS]

  him figure out how to turn it off [TS]

  yeah I I thought that checkbox checked [TS]

  hops checkups cutting torch because you [TS]

  know it's showing up in this part of the [TS]

  movie so you know it's gonna figure into [TS]

  the the dramatic conclusion section and [TS]

  if that wasn't exciting enough now we [TS]

  spend 15 seconds debating whether or not [TS]

  to bring along the cutting torch [TS]

  I've watched this movie twice i don't [TS]

  remember the scene at all i think i [TS]

  passed out during that scene but it is i [TS]

  just found it is it is a real scene [TS]

  clearly yeah your body's shutting down [TS]

  itself thanks [TS]

  that's right what is happening on screen [TS]

  but I I remember and I can vouch for [TS]

  average tale that Steve is just then [TS]

  it's possible you want to edit down [TS]

  version that removed several minutes [TS]

  I think due to some Geneva Convention [TS]

  rules of some kind in a movie like this [TS]

  Chekhov's rule doesn't always apply [TS]

  because they don't always know it [TS]

  no through no I'm not check off the Star [TS]

  Trek character not the right way right [TS]

  check off it was just involves lots of [TS]

  screaming in the agony booth so check [TS]

  out of law is please take that out of [TS]

  here [TS]

  no people don't obey at most they played [TS]

  smash into this and i had made us check [TS]

  the the whole this whole movie by the [TS]

  way that the dorothy is constantly there [TS]

  are these long cutaways where she seems [TS]

  like she's in a completely different [TS]

  scene just looking on at the scene [TS]

  that's actually happening and they go on [TS]

  a long time she never says anything or [TS]

  almost never said anything [TS]

  it's super weird it's like situations [TS]

  they're all the days so they just have [TS]

  her reacting from off-screen I get the [TS]

  impression from her expression that she [TS]

  wasn't necessarily there during the days [TS]

  that she was there that that may be so [TS]

  the columns are people and Charlie [TS]

  strongly considered shooting the alien [TS]

  which pic it's worked out so far yeah it [TS]

  seems like a good idea wouldn't steve-o [TS]

  gets like a mind-meld with the alien his [TS]

  husband he loved the alien hand slides [TS]

  up on the little tube and tight and and [TS]

  it touches him just like sounds good [TS]

  just like Kirk and Spock in answer to [TS]

  and I guess surgery into darkness to if [TS]

  you really want to gather his eyes roll [TS]

  back in his head which is kind of creepy [TS]

  and he's bobbing around [TS]

  first the problem is that this goes on [TS]

  for what 15 seconds and his compatriots [TS]

  don't do anything and when it finally [TS]

  steps away [TS]

  it's like they're they were you know [TS]

  they were ok with it wasn't that they [TS]

  didn't notice and tried to save him [TS]

  there like all right let's see what [TS]

  happens [TS]

  we could Lucy was having a moment with [TS]

  his alien friends we're not gonna [TS]

  interrupt that they watched him and went [TS]

  oh my god something's finally happening [TS]

  there's a couple scenes here to of [TS]

  Dorothy staring into space that are so [TS]

  there is placed in as well yes this is [TS]

  this is what i was thinking of like [TS]

  she's just too and also present [TS]

  it's alright it's just trying to share [TS]

  my mind is what I i wrote that down in [TS]

  my note down seem that something that [TS]

  steve says that after the aliens try to [TS]

  share his mind and not just some [TS]

  hallucination i was watching the movie [TS]

  and he's learned that these are these [TS]

  are important like aliens that that that [TS]

  have been around and and that they need [TS]

  to go to a central location to learn [TS]

  more but we're in some things man [TS]

  and then he just turns around and goes [TS]

  oh there must be there there's the spot [TS]

  so they go they go there to the center [TS]

  of the city now that this important [TS]

  mind-melds happened his assumption is [TS]

  proven out when we see a bunch of what [TS]

  appear to be flying handkerchiefs alien [TS]

  heads [TS]

  floating down the hall to join them in [TS]

  the meeting place [TS]

  well this is this is your your pulse [TS]

  pounding special effects scene i believe [TS]

  that there's a there's a founding person [TS]

  is a really cool shot where there's a [TS]

  spider web that that it pulls like the [TS]

  camera pulls out of and then they then [TS]

  they push it away which is like that [TS]

  that that spiderweb costs money and then [TS]

  those little um and those little uh [TS]

  alien ghosts guys floating down the hall [TS]

  that's a process shot right where it's [TS]

  like there's pictures of caves his [TS]

  pictures of other scenes in the movie [TS]

  basically pictures of the cave seen [TS]

  pictures of the alien City scene and [TS]

  then and then robot dirt I mean alien [TS]

  puppets floating down the hallways and [TS]

  sometimes like doubled and tripled and [TS]

  quadrupled in a way that it was like you [TS]

  know I hope this this will really blow [TS]

  their minds in the movie theater i think [TS]

  is what the director maybe was [TS]

  maybe was thinking and then we cut to [TS]

  Charlie with his eyes wide open and a [TS]

  picture about of a of the brain that is [TS]

  built with a light pulsating above it [TS]

  which immediately dissolves into the [TS]

  floating head data john carradine the [TS]

  star of the movie stars hobby like [TS]

  ladies and gentlemen 56 minutes in here [TS]

  comes to matt gets me that floating head [TS]

  he he makes up for all the rest of the [TS]

  acting yeah he likes what he takes hold [TS]

  of that scenery and chews it up in 10 [TS]

  minutes for like an hour and a half's [TS]

  worth which is pretty impressive for [TS]

  just ahead i'd say oh yeah I mean he [TS]

  chews it up just falls to the bottom of [TS]

  the neck [TS]

  yeah it lands on that brain he could act [TS]

  more with a disembodied head than most [TS]

  actors could with a full body he talks [TS]

  for a very very long time just john [TS]

  carradine have a lower-body I've got [TS]

  something about concurred with their the [TS]

  people who are on Mars are the [TS]

  conquerors of a Thousand worlds they had [TS]

  uncovered the mysteries of time i [TS]

  noticed that by the way the background [TS]

  keeps changing there's like a stock [TS]

  photo of space and then they get bored [TS]

  after a while and they dissolve in the [TS]

  background to a different stock photo of [TS]

  the space it's like he's standing in [TS]

  front of a slideshow a little bit for a [TS]

  lot of his speech there's a galaxy [TS]

  superimposed over his mouth and he looks [TS]

  like he has a really big milk mustache [TS]

  yep and points in in the version i saw [TS]

  which is on youtube like half the time [TS]

  he's on screen with some kind of nebula [TS]

  or whatever or yes showers something is [TS]

  just washing out his face you can't even [TS]

  see his eyes or his mouth and not your [TS]

  that's not your version that's the movie [TS]

  that's what you want to do with your big [TS]

  name talent you want to put some star [TS]

  fields over his head so you can identify [TS]

  it [TS]

  that may have been one of his [TS]

  requirements he has one choir you never [TS]

  marry the dressing almond oil is wash [TS]

  out my face [TS]

  come I say that i was in the field and I [TS]

  my note here was that this carotene [TS]

  monologue is actually kind of [TS]

  disappointing because it appears to have [TS]

  actually been written for this movie [TS]

  yes I found a completely unsourced [TS]

  website claiming that Forrest J Ackerman [TS]

  wrote that speech [TS]

  oh and I'd like it a random dot edu [TS]

  student account webpage it is so [TS]

  different from the rest of the movie i [TS]

  would buy i would buy two and forrest [TS]

  was good i thought was essentially the [TS]

  movie stops and john carradine tells you [TS]

  a science fiction story or at least the [TS]

  outline of a science fiction story and [TS]

  it is more imaginative than anything [TS]

  else in the movie because they don't [TS]

  have to pay for anything they just have [TS]

  john carradine they're reading the story [TS]

  and it reads like the outline of a a a [TS]

  and isaac asimov story or something like [TS]

  that conquers of thousand world's [TS]

  mysteries of time [TS]

  time stopped on Mars which is good [TS]

  because again time literally stopped in [TS]

  the movie so we're there with them [TS]

  how do we stop time again my mind grows [TS]

  weary but you know you you will know how [TS]

  to start time for it is the symbol of [TS]

  time universal to all races [TS]

  there's a whole you know tale of how the [TS]

  Martians came and then recede or the [TS]

  aliens came and then proceeded and ended [TS]

  up on this planet that goes on again [TS]

  kind of like an outline for a short [TS]

  story but instead it's just a Mayflower [TS]

  getting head in front of space objects [TS]

  are reading the the story to you I had [TS]

  two thoughts were watching the scene 1 [TS]

  was a boy and he's described as much [TS]

  more interesting in the last hour [TS]

  yeah I i I've had to live through second [TS]

  is charity wasn't Grapes of Wrath and no [TS]

  more recently the man who shot liberty [TS]

  valance was with he made that living [TS]

  memory and here he is sitting like a [TS]

  hotel room in a hurdle neck someone is [TS]

  clearly waiting a bottle of gin off [TS]

  Karen and keep them interested in like a [TS]

  job after we stopped rolling Union this [TS]

  and it just it I I realize you know [TS]

  there's there's a school of thought he [TS]

  actors got act and they take whatever [TS]

  job gets gets thrown at them but damage [TS]

  on carrying he's not doing these they [TS]

  must have had some serious personal [TS]

  problems and/or debts because yes he [TS]

  made some spectacularly terrible movies [TS]

  now he he was a world-class alcoholic so [TS]

  there you go like you can get more [TS]

  alcoholic an old Hollywood [TS]

  alcoholic and I gotta say this as you [TS]

  know I know I know the theater world a [TS]

  lot of these things where he was he was [TS]

  trying to get money for his stage [TS]

  projects [TS]

  yeah that's what a lot of this was two [TS]

  and a project like two big ol bottle of [TS]

  gin drink on stage i make working on a [TS]

  stage as possible i would totally do [TS]

  that someone here he's surprised that [TS]

  these people come from Earth that which [TS]

  he didn't he had only theorize could one [TS]

  day evolve intelligence yes they don't [TS]

  explain how he knows what the word earth [TS]

  name is gonna learn English I expected [TS]

  that just be aligned that would be like [TS]

  we come from the we come from the third [TS]

  planet in this system and and then he's [TS]

  like oh I didn't know you came from [TS]

  there but no again the movie is just [TS]

  like Oh earth [TS]

  yes I go to the way he's the one that [TS]

  says all what planet sun word from this [TS]

  planet is also didn't time stop for them [TS]

  yes so how did we advance so much when [TS]

  time [TS]

  stop I think they are time is stopped on [TS]

  Mars but not anywhere else like they're [TS]

  locked in time [TS]

  well there was still like days like the [TS]

  planet still rotated yeah I don't know [TS]

  these humans walk through it and use [TS]

  oxygen [TS]

  I don't know let me see if I understand [TS]

  this this azimoff story that the [TS]

  floating head tells us yes [TS]

  ok their species evolved a whole bunch [TS]

  they were really smart [TS]

  yes I concur 4,000 wire sort of crumbled [TS]

  around them because they were so focused [TS]

  on their research so they decided to [TS]

  stop time so they could continue to [TS]

  probe the mysteries of life but then [TS]

  when they probed the final mystery they [TS]

  discovered they couldn't get out because [TS]

  they were no longer capable of physical [TS]

  action to turn the clock I think you [TS]

  forgot the most important point Steve [TS]

  which is life has no meaning without [TS]

  death [TS]

  I didn't forget that because he says it [TS]

  again at the edge doesn't have a replay [TS]

  that part [TS]

  yeah so that's a lesson I learned so [TS]

  that they need they need humans to [TS]

  restart time and the way to turn time [TS]

  back on it super-complicated you have to [TS]

  put a snow globe in a hole [TS]

  so you can see what the problem so so [TS]

  the the intellectual puzzle that john [TS]

  carradine gives our crew is you will [TS]

  know it for it is the symbol for time [TS]

  universal to all races and then a song [TS]

  the sound of gong happens at that point [TS]

  and they said you can get this fear [TS]

  Charlie picks up the sphere and drops it [TS]

  immediately and I think it's broken but [TS]

  it actually reveals that he leaves [TS]

  though isn't winner is it even pumps the [TS]

  orbits maybe it's stupid Steve yeah [TS]

  charl charlie is bickering with [TS]

  Charlie's bickering with them maybe [TS]

  Steve drops it but it doesn't break out [TS]

  my job captain cut off like it's just [TS]

  revealed that the snowglobe contains the [TS]

  city this turns out the symbol of time [TS]

  anyway people that's Universal all [TS]

  worlds is like a pendulum clock with a a [TS]

  picture of a an anthropomorphic son on [TS]

  the face of the of the pendulum yeah a [TS]

  bunch of gear and a bunch of gears and [TS]

  then a hole in the center that's it [TS]

  seems to serve no purpose it's sort of [TS]

  like this like maybe like the screw or [TS]

  the bolt that holds the whole thing [TS]

  together but it turns out if you put the [TS]

  snow globe in the hole maybe something [TS]

  good will happen [TS]

  yeah i've tried that line before [TS]

  unfortunately it's too high up they [TS]

  can't reach it oh no what everybody guys [TS]

  busy just out of reach up there's no way [TS]

  they could reach that I can reach it so [TS]

  you know what Charlotte yeah Charlie can [TS]

  reach me at him give me a hand Steve [TS]

  apparently completely off-screen there's [TS]

  been some sort of a heroic journey that [TS]

  Charlie has been odd because that's how [TS]

  they learn to be a true family was at it [TS]

  friendship because only when we came [TS]

  together as a team that we could boost [TS]

  someone feet out [TS]

  yep well sort of as a teenage steve [TS]

  buscemi but dr. does nothing and nothing [TS]

  yeah and Dorothy's in another movie that [TS]

  didn't he Steve didn't heat haha i do [TS]

  have to say that the big son pendulum is [TS]

  actually a pretty good set-piece I feel [TS]

  like probably 22,000 the 33,000 went [TS]

  into the building hospital [TS]

  it doesn't make any sense because time [TS]

  is a clock is weird but it-it-it is a an [TS]

  actual set-piece eventually i could [TS]

  build that for 500 bucks east of the [TS]

  cultures on earth before they developed [TS]

  blackwork didn't have a concept for time [TS]

  according to this Yahoo they stick it in [TS]

  the hole people they stick it [TS]

  the lunch and the function without being [TS]

  dirty about stuff and the pendulum [TS]

  begins to swing we were saved [TS]

  you know the swinger at which point John [TS]

  Kerry's voice appears again to do not [TS]

  gaze upon time too long for as you do [TS]

  your own destiny awaits you at the end [TS]

  of the Golden Road Oh disciples of the [TS]

  Golden Road you shall have the power it [TS]

  is Little John i would love to stop [TS]

  gazing on time for too long but the shot [TS]

  goes on for about 35 seconds there's [TS]

  nothing i can do I implore you in the [TS]

  ocean carried in gives good floating do [TS]

  not gaze upon his film for too long [TS]

  though I did your own destiny awaits you [TS]

  at the popcorn booth [TS]

  oh yeah they paid for that big epic [TS]

  pendulum they're gonna show everybody [TS]

  showing a lot it's actually pretty [TS]

  complicated they like the one gear goes [TS]

  when it's rotating one way and the other [TS]

  goes when it's rotating the other way [TS]

  pendulum swings faster and faster until [TS]

  it splits apart of there are two [TS]

  pendulums that's a weird part [TS]

  like all right okay now there's two [TS]

  because they do a double exposure sort [TS]

  of thing but they have to run now that [TS]

  John Kerry is worn them do not gaze upon [TS]

  time too long they have to run and this [TS]

  is the best seem because it's the last [TS]

  one [TS]

  one [TS]

  as they're running out there is one [TS]

  quarter and there are two camera angles [TS]

  and they literally just keep running [TS]

  through that corridor like six times and [TS]

  it's only the two camera angles and it's [TS]

  very clearly the same corridor now to [TS]

  their credit there they're putting like [TS]

  throwing rocks and garbage at them [TS]

  because the city supposed to be coming [TS]

  down around them helping them apart from [TS]

  that painting or dissolving at this [TS]

  point it's yes very dire while some key [TS]

  grip is chucking stuff [TS]

  front from the scene I was envisioning a [TS]

  gleeful group of people throwing dirt at [TS]

  them he grip unit director on the only [TS]

  other guy on the set [TS]

  there's a there's a very important scene [TS]

  where they reach the door and they have [TS]

  to turn around for some reason and [TS]

  Charlie drops his gun and we have to [TS]

  stop for a second it was just leaving [TS]

  Carly will go back and get the gun [TS]

  that's drama that success at building [TS]

  attention Steve will surely get his gun [TS]

  I mean that's what he has like the [TS]

  deepest personal connection to and the [TS]

  Holy Spirit they can't shoot other [TS]

  things to solve problems if they leave [TS]

  the gun behind but they do charlie gets [TS]

  things done with that gun they they run [TS]

  out into the desert we don't actually [TS]

  see the all-important transition from [TS]

  him leaving the castle going into the [TS]

  desert no we never seen any of the [TS]

  transitions we just see the results and [TS]

  they did the before-and-after shots yeah [TS]

  so they're in the city and then there in [TS]

  the desert [TS]

  I in agony without their home without [TS]

  their helmets or anything because it [TS]

  doesn't matter anymore because the movie [TS]

  is given up but they didn't pass out in [TS]

  the sand so maybe there is some [TS]

  continuity I I don't know they were [TS]

  there feels like they're running for a [TS]

  long time but they do they do finally [TS]

  collapse they collapse on the yellow [TS]

  brick road from before which is just [TS]

  over the hill from the right castle [TS]

  write something with a little bit of a [TS]

  way is right they had to go over the [TS]

  hill there Michael as you know there is [TS]

  a little bit of oxygen in the Martian [TS]

  atmosphere [TS]

  come on cut the movies smile but the [TS]

  spaces we had watch the stupid people in [TS]

  those stupid spaces for the whole movie [TS]

  and then the other like it adds fine [TS]

  it's fine we forgot the only thing the [TS]

  movies about it's like don't you want to [TS]

  get out of here sooner just let it go [TS]

  they could've just they could have just [TS]

  had them vanish in the in the city [TS]

  instead of going back out into the [TS]

  desert because that's what happens not [TS]

  only do they collapse then they just are [TS]

  going [TS]

  one and they don't even fade away they [TS]

  just blinking they're gone they're like [TS]

  stopping this out of existence yeah they [TS]

  stop the camera had everybody get out of [TS]

  the shot and then and then start the [TS]

  camera again they disappear and that [TS]

  gives us a classic or was it ending to [TS]

  the movie which is we are now back on [TS]

  Mars probe 10 just like in The Wizard of [TS]

  Oz I was wrong [TS]

  that's right there's another wireless [TS]

  version and and you were there and you [TS]

  were there and you weren't there but not [TS]

  only not only if an e/m is like Mission [TS]

  Control does that Wizard of Oz any [TS]

  enemies that respect that and I say come [TS]

  on come back Mars probe one or two [TS]

  minutes overdue to report and they were [TS]

  then the response from the crew is two [TS]

  minute two minutes and then John does a [TS]

  reprieve and it's the end of the movie [TS]

  yeah so so what have we learned as I was [TS]

  watching this ending i like to think [TS]

  that this was originally pitched as a [TS]

  Twilight Zone episode and there were the [TS]

  the writer who i believe is also the [TS]

  director I believe this week yes pitch [TS]

  by David lq it on stage magician david l [TS]

  hewitt as right [TS]

  yes L shirt and he pitches into rod [TS]

  certainly never and and and and there's [TS]

  this awkward moment of silence and Rod [TS]

  Serling says get out of my office who [TS]

  don't understand a thing about my work [TS]

  and then for the rest of day Rod Serling [TS]

  just sort of sits there staring into [TS]

  open space and he you know instead of [TS]

  going straight home he started drives [TS]

  around and contemplates what his life is [TS]

  like and and how how badly his his point [TS]

  of view and his artistic uh goals could [TS]

  have been misinterpreted by this and and [TS]

  you know he sort of sees a billboard [TS]

  about you know going in and taking a [TS]

  cooking class uses yeah yeah that's what [TS]

  I want to do with my life now I don't [TS]

  want to make TP anymore and he enrolls [TS]

  in a cooking class and he becomes a very [TS]

  famous chef and he meet some people and [TS]

  goes to Paris and get some [TS]

  michelin start anyhow that's what i like [TS]

  to think happened to going i want to [TS]

  know what happened oh no no I like to [TS]

  think that's what happened but here in [TS]

  Wizard of Mars that's how we got the [TS]

  night kitchen the exact like that is a [TS]

  better story than this movie [TS]

  don't say that yeah and then john [TS]

  carradine appears as a head goes you [TS]

  make a sauce do a reduction for your [TS]

  steak roadsters just holding the menu [TS]

  down below his head his whole body is [TS]

  there he just could only see the head [TS]

  about the menu [TS]

  can I get some appetizers started for [TS]

  you perhaps perhaps some asparagus [TS]

  have you ever studied Brad severn [TS]

  wouldn't you be terrified to order [TS]

  anything from chef rod serling though [TS]

  well it's great because the ending [TS]

  always takes you by surprise [TS]

  imagine if you will pork yeah you have [TS]

  to keep you in the bag its duction it's [TS]

  rod serling's it's a cookbook i know he [TS]

  didn't write that one but still they're [TS]

  deserters on the wing turns out it was [TS]

  brunch Allah [TS]

  submitted for your approval a mimosa the [TS]

  check we we don't take credit should [TS]

  have mentioned that up front I'm not [TS]

  very good at reading that restaurant I [TS]

  used to be a TV writer than a guy came [TS]

  in and pitched gonna answer tomorrow and [TS]

  then I started doing this for a living [TS]

  so cut me some slack [TS]

  I'll take cash please and I'm sorry babe [TS]

  he tells this story to everyone welcome [TS]

  to Rod Serling's restaurant we have one [TS]

  special today it is the monsters are due [TS]

  on maple syrup very good haha your [TS]

  man'chi go is Archie's I've got out of [TS]

  the beholder but i don't i don't know [TS]

  any dishes actually involved eyeballs [TS]

  time enough at last which is really just [TS]

  a plate of the herb I just I i wish i [TS]

  had more detailed from the yelp review [TS]

  because it just says it's a good thing [TS]

  that's a real good joke you made their [TS]

  real good [TS]

  well well this has been great so I've [TS]

  got a story about David do it [TS]

  yes I i would like to hear [TS]

  are you you have an interesting [TS]

  historical note about this film [TS]

  alright so this guy was a special [TS]

  effects guy and stage magician and he [TS]

  had directed something called monsters [TS]

  crash the pajama party and you want to [TS]

  make a big science fiction epic which [TS]

  turned out to be this movie yeah he met [TS]

  a bunch of vending machine operator but [TS]

  they wanted to get into the business of [TS]

  making girly flicks and he talked them [TS]

  into no science fiction is where the [TS]

  money at [TS]

  so they put up their 33,000 colors to [TS]

  make this movie and they form a real [TS]

  cheap film distribution corporation and [TS]

  they need other films along with this [TS]

  one so it turns out that they were the [TS]

  ones that put up the money to get the [TS]

  movie spiderbaby out of the lab jack [TS]

  hill made this crazy movie which is much [TS]

  more interesting than wizard Myers [TS]

  called spider baby and it was being held [TS]

  hostage by the lab because he couldn't [TS]

  paper the processing fees but thanks to [TS]

  wizard of Mars spiders spiderbaby was [TS]

  freed and actually toured with this [TS]

  movie as the bee movie because it's in [TS]

  black and white which means it can't be [TS]

  as interesting so man something came out [TS]

  of the wizard of Mars so what have we [TS]

  learned anything I have learned to the [TS]

  john carradine will do anything [TS]

  yes that battery that is true pretty [TS]

  sure we knew that this is this movie has [TS]

  a story credit and a screenplay by [TS]

  credit and i want to say the story [TS]

  outline of this like we've set a couple [TS]

  of times now this could have been a [TS]

  perfectly interesting movie without [TS]

  really spending a lot more on on the [TS]

  budget it could have been shot a little [TS]

  bit better but just from dialogues with [TS]

  just basic competence of storytelling in [TS]

  my direction put a character in just one [TS]

  the Charlie counts for like a half maybe [TS]

  thirty three thousand dollars guys [TS]

  32,000 it's true and 28,000 that was [TS]

  spent on vending machines for the crew [TS]

  and cast yes it went it went a long way [TS]

  back that's 1964 that's a what I've [TS]

  learned is that occasionally when we do [TS]

  old movie club like I i feel kind of bad [TS]

  you didn't [TS]

  there's a long movie and I got really [TS]

  kind of [TS]

  imposing on people that I don't feel bad [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  good i will never feel bad about [TS]

  anything I make you people watch again [TS]

  yeah well this at least was a trim hour [TS]

  and 15 min yeah hanging out [TS]

  it's just people like four hours that [TS]

  budget by the way in modern dollars [TS]

  would be it's about 250,000 dollar movie [TS]

  so hmm doesn't seem so good anymore [TS]

  yeah i will say i watch this twice [TS]

  because I was drifting off the most of [TS]

  the first viewing it on a second [TS]

  watching it wasn't nearly so bad because [TS]

  i was expecting nothing to happen and so [TS]

  I got to really appreciate the random [TS]

  shots of dorothy just scary so many off [TS]

  to the side of the candy are the camera [TS]

  and yea and all the many many same shots [TS]

  of the same little two-foot section cave [TS]

  that they I mean if you don't have any [TS]

  expectation of anything happening [TS]

  it could be worse yeah it's administered [TS]

  it's not it's not as bad as it was the [TS]

  first time through it because because I [TS]

  could appreciate the badness of it [TS]

  without expecting anything and and like [TS]

  i said i think this could have made a [TS]

  pretty solid MST episode lots of wide [TS]

  open spaces to to fit or whatever [TS]

  rambling you want to throw in there long [TS]

  long riffs that's where the same thing [TS]

  is happening over and over again and you [TS]

  can kind of take a little slightly [TS]

  different angles on the same material [TS]

  yeah that's always unlike the movie [TS]

  using very short movie then you get john [TS]

  carradine for 10 minutes just just [TS]

  ranting MST and roger corman films have [TS]

  trained me to expect something going on [TS]

  after the walking and the walking is [TS]

  going to be long but it's not gonna be [TS]

  that long and then something happens and [TS]

  then there's more walking in this the [TS]

  first time through is just all the [TS]

  walking and you know once once you don't [TS]

  have to worry about growing hate and [TS]

  what comes next [TS]

  ok ok so I i think what we're saying is [TS]

  the first time you watch it it's bad [TS]

  because it's too suspenseful no not that [TS]

  not quite [TS]

  just saying it's it's easier to deal [TS]

  with when you know what you're dealing [TS]

  with [TS]

  it's like eating one of those Twilight [TS]

  Zone dishes but you know you've had it [TS]

  before you know how it's gonna end I [TS]

  guess it's because on the second viewing [TS]

  I was occupying my mind with stupid [TS]

  things that i might say we're really [TS]

  worried about this thing yeah [TS]

  yes I i spent a lot of my viewing doing [TS]

  the same i knew i didn't have to [TS]

  concentrate on the plot or the action on [TS]

  screen or the set or the actors say i [TS]

  was paying a lot of attention my second [TS]

  time because i want to see if they [TS]

  actually explain something like right i [TS]

  remember they cared about oxygen and [TS]

  then they took their suit off that [TS]

  wasn't going to rewind and see what [TS]

  happened and in this case it is just one [TS]

  line where they say well good thing is [TS]

  aaron here it's a breathable no [TS]

  particular reason why so having to [TS]

  constantly be alive for any chance they [TS]

  mention that these sand dunes all look [TS]

  alike [TS]

  yeah they do because it's the same state [TS]

  dude he yeah I think Charlie said it [TS]

  best when he announced sure it'll work [TS]

  serve no reason why it shouldn't is [TS]

  there they're made a plan wasn't going [TS]

  to work because the nearest people are [TS]

  not four days no nine months away [TS]

  no they're talking to that they're [TS]

  talking to that thing that's floating in [TS]

  space that they say do too right yeah [TS]

  what's it gonna do it just gonna say [TS]

  dude yeah dude [TS]

  well I mean maybe their local to Mars [TS]

  maybe they're orbiting Mars and they [TS]

  could send something down think so these [TS]

  are the first people that will ever [TS]

  orbit Mars yeah they say that yes yes [TS]

  there Mars probe more from one counting [TS]

  backward the last one when I pro by [TS]

  something went wrong for this one we [TS]

  have reached the end of our discussion [TS]

  of the wizard Marley we haven't hung out [TS]

  if you've got more Twilight Zone episode [TS]

  titles though I'll take those [TS]

  haha ok yeah i would like to thank my [TS]

  guests mr. Bemis can't do anything with [TS]

  that either [TS]

  I terrible thank you to my guests for [TS]

  being here Phil Michaels I yeah [TS]

  don't feel bad about old movie club ever [TS]

  again no you're gonna work for you in [TS]

  foreign movies next trip you're gonna [TS]

  have to read your movie Johnson fare [TS]

  Monty Ashley thank you [TS]

  the specimen a real jazzy place in its [TS]

  time mmm [TS]

  David jail or arc like thank you [TS]

  has it only been two minutes and Steve [TS]

  let's thank you [TS]

  yeah we've been here five hours now and [TS]

  no sign of a way out Jason to wait I [TS]

  think I see the way out up ahead there [TS]

  it is [TS]

  yeah there's this it's a lava don't [TS]

  don't touch the lobby did it and he's [TS]

  waving at us [TS]

  I have been your host Jason still and I [TS]

  until next week i remind you happy new [TS]

  year dude do [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  Oh Cavender is coming with your meal sir [TS]

  where we are it's quite an episode you [TS]

  chose to yeah well I'm talking Tina and [TS]

  I'll be your waitress for haha for the [TS]

  end zone [TS]

  hey Phil Phil I'm talking Tina and I'll [TS]

  serve you [TS]

  terrifying yeah terrifying not so good-- [TS]

  not so good it's good [TS]

  the grandmothers apple pie it's real [TS]

  good real good four of us are dying for [TS]

  that dessert we ordered the twist is [TS]

  there is no dessert back in the Cylons [TS]

  own [TS]