Roderick on the Line

Ep. 240: "Wrobbie Wrist"


00:00:00   hello no John I'm Merlin how is it going [TS]

00:00:10   oh it's a little bit tenuous hmm yeah [TS]

00:00:16   there's a little bit of tenuous pneus [TS]

00:00:18   because my rig l my podcasting rig I [TS]

00:00:23   think I'm getting it though I'm getting [TS]

00:00:25   the 10 yuasa tea out of it you sound you [TS]

00:00:28   sound tremendous oh hey thank you you do [TS]

00:00:32   with it that feels good when someone [TS]

00:00:34   says you sound tremendous well you sound [TS]

00:00:36   like you might be inside of like a [TS]

00:00:37   costly shag rug you're very well [TS]

00:00:40   buffeted you are you sound good [TS]

00:00:42   sometimes when you're at your venice [TS]

00:00:44   beach location it's a little echoey yeah [TS]

00:00:47   in this case it sounds like you're [TS]

00:00:48   inside of like a really expensive [TS]

00:00:49   cardboard box it sounds good yes yes [TS]

00:00:51   yeah are you doing something different [TS]

00:00:53   you know what every week is different [TS]

00:00:56   because because I feel like so much the [TS]

00:01:01   same and yet somehow different yeah you [TS]

00:01:03   know Here I am talking to my podcast pal [TS]

00:01:05   TM and um you know I feel like every [TS]

00:01:10   week we should we shut off a certain [TS]

00:01:15   amount of skin flakes and dander right [TS]

00:01:18   things inside of us die and are replaced [TS]

00:01:20   by other things Hakuna Matata stuff [TS]

00:01:24   cycles around goes in it comes out and [TS]

00:01:28   so why why should I be podcasting from [TS]

00:01:32   the same location same fashion every [TS]

00:01:34   week I'm barely the same person I was [TS]

00:01:38   two weeks ago yeah yeah you that you [TS]

00:01:41   were two weeks ago is like in your air [TS]

00:01:44   conditioning filter at this point [TS]

00:01:46   exactly fingernails grow fingernails get [TS]

00:01:49   bitten off they grow em to everything [TS]

00:01:52   turn turn turn that's right my eyelashes [TS]

00:01:55   go out into my mouth somehow and then I [TS]

00:01:59   you know depth and so I try to keep it [TS]

00:02:05   you know I could try to keep it fresh [TS]

00:02:07   mm-hmm I try to keep a new [TS]

00:02:10   yeah are you going with my uncle and [TS]

00:02:13   Aunty and bellaire oh sure sure parents [TS]

00:02:17   had gone on a vacation uh okay uh I [TS]

00:02:21   don't like to ask you no questions about [TS]

00:02:24   things um flash flash was kind of the [TS]

00:02:37   cousin Oliver of that show they brought [TS]

00:02:39   him in late to kind of Russian things up [TS]

00:02:41   he was the scrappydew and I don't want [TS]

00:02:45   to scrappy do you know how that he was [TS]

00:02:47   so cute i wanna scrappy-doo he was he [TS]

00:02:51   was better than most yeah he was better [TS]

00:02:54   than having some little kid with big big [TS]

00:02:56   glasses on my show robbie rist robbie [TS]

00:02:59   rist robbie i think his name is robbie [TS]

00:03:01   rist Oh without a w oh I was gonna say [TS]

00:03:05   robbie rist that is a good that's good [TS]

00:03:07   punk rock name it's a good punk rock [TS]

00:03:09   name it's a good thing to call somebody [TS]

00:03:11   that you get that you catch masturbating [TS]

00:03:13   oh look at him it's rob you know what [TS]

00:03:15   thank you all right well did Robbie [TS]

00:03:17   truth Robbie yes now what did would you [TS]

00:03:20   put it W in front of Robbie Robbie mwr [TS]

00:03:25   ist i think i just put a hat on a hat so [TS]

00:03:28   if you google robbie rist Oh see I think [TS]

00:03:30   he suffers from the same face hair [TS]

00:03:33   malady that I have let's see here Robbie [TS]

00:03:36   risk yeah see I think about the one that [TS]

00:03:38   came on too hot happy days Oh after [TS]

00:03:42   chachi what there was some there was [TS]

00:03:45   some kid that was it the songs adopt a [TS]

00:03:48   kid robbie rist without a w huh yeah uh [TS]

00:03:53   what what who was they who was the one [TS]

00:03:56   the kid with the with the glasses that [TS]

00:03:58   was incongruous given that yeah there he [TS]

00:04:01   is and he was on which is on memory [TS]

00:04:04   serves I believe his on the Brady Bunch [TS]

00:04:06   the Brady Bunch right and he's like a [TS]

00:04:09   little he looks exactly like John Denver [TS]

00:04:11   who was very popular on cuz that's a [TS]

00:04:13   really good point he had that that [TS]

00:04:15   ubiquitous 70s haircut which our hands [TS]

00:04:21   you had the the helmet you had the that [TS]

00:04:24   was named TWiki was it Twiggy [TS]

00:04:27   spinnerbait twiki and dr. Theophilus [TS]

00:04:32   that I remember the biddy biddy biddy oh [TS]

00:04:34   no I always call that the mom the [TS]

00:04:38   haircut that your mom gives you oh the [TS]

00:04:40   mom cut yes and there were lots of Mason [TS]

00:04:43   Reese I don't think he had that haircut [TS]

00:04:44   but okay so okay born 1964 52 years old [TS]

00:04:47   so you know the show you know you start [TS]

00:04:51   out in a certain place and then you go [TS]

00:04:52   to a different place and you know the [TS]

00:04:55   the show by the yeah you know it's like [TS]

00:04:57   gets like in raising arizona you know i [TS]

00:04:59   gotta get gotta get some new baby [TS]

00:05:01   because these aren't you know it's [TS]

00:05:02   huggable anymore you need somebody cute [TS]

00:05:04   so you add a robbie rist you add a you [TS]

00:05:08   add a little girl on the family yeah [TS]

00:05:11   yeah but i don't think you know they [TS]

00:05:13   I've actually here on the first page of [TS]

00:05:14   Google the cousin all of those their [TS]

00:05:17   cousin Oliver syndrome I guess they're [TS]

00:05:19   saying they're applying to robbie rist [TS]

00:05:20   always being I think he is the widely [TS]

00:05:23   regarded as the canonical example of the [TS]

00:05:26   scrappydew problem did did Mason Reese [TS]

00:05:28   was he d my bologna has a first name [TS]

00:05:30   it's ma y ER he was the Borg a smart kid [TS]

00:05:33   Oh Boris Boris board oh I love to eat it [TS]

00:05:37   every day soon you ask me while say oh [TS]

00:05:42   me series look at Google Mason Reese [TS]

00:05:44   well I just did already here he looks [TS]

00:05:47   like that easy easy if somebody gets [TS]

00:05:51   mistaken for Bruce Vilanch you better be [TS]

00:05:53   big goddamn careful you know it's sort [TS]

00:05:56   of the Reich mysteries minus Bruce [TS]

00:05:58   Vilanch equals you know it's the single [TS]

00:06:02   thing in the entire world that gets [TS]

00:06:04   under your skin and it's still killing [TS]

00:06:06   go learned yeah Oh rocky Allen rippy i [TS]

00:06:11   forgot about Rodney Allen rippy I always [TS]

00:06:13   mistake the girl that came on to all in [TS]

00:06:16   the family and then went into the [TS]

00:06:18   spin-off Archie's place yes Danielle I [TS]

00:06:22   always a mistake her for the girl in [TS]

00:06:25   goodbye girl good you know it's a movie [TS]

00:06:28   i still haven't seen oh come my god I [TS]

00:06:30   know I know you know I'm putting on the [TS]

00:06:31   list on go home and watch it right now [TS]

00:06:34   my husband Richard Dreyfuss won his [TS]

00:06:36   Academy Award you heard a Duke boys very [TS]

00:06:41   gates David Gates you don't hear from [TS]

00:06:43   hearing or hope all Benedict Bentley was [TS]

00:06:45   in that movie Quinn Cummings there you [TS]

00:06:47   go Quinn Cummings Paul Benedict does [TS]

00:06:52   it's really a star turn he should have [TS]

00:06:54   wanted a get awfully good he really is [TS]

00:06:56   it's a shame that people may know him [TS]

00:06:58   from from The Jeffersons I mean he was [TS]

00:07:01   great on The Jeffersons for sure but [TS]

00:07:03   yeah he's very very funny well I'm just [TS]

00:07:06   discovered this twisted old fruit ya I'm [TS]

00:07:09   just as God made me sir he walks away [TS]

00:07:11   with spinal taps doses just those [TS]

00:07:13   glasses this lasses are funny this gun [TS]

00:07:15   made me I say that I said at least once [TS]

00:07:17   a week oh I say it all the time yeah I [TS]

00:07:19   have to I have to pretty stock responses [TS]

00:07:22   to a random backhanded compliment on [TS]

00:07:24   Twitter one is I'm just as God made me [TS]

00:07:27   sir and the other one is a line from a [TS]

00:07:29   Smith song right I simply say sup girls [TS]

00:07:32   mothers are bigger than others same [TS]

00:07:35   record I say that's nothing you should [TS]

00:07:37   hear me play piano oh sure yeah oh sure [TS]

00:07:41   I said I know you and you cannot sing [TS]

00:07:43   that's nothing you should hear me play [TS]

00:07:45   don't know no funny enough you and I [TS]

00:07:47   quoted me first melodies have to know [TS]

00:07:49   I'm singing the third singing the third [TS]

00:07:52   horrible horrible working yeah we just [TS]

00:07:56   cited the first and last track on the [TS]

00:07:59   1986 album the queen is dead nineteen [TS]

00:08:01   eighty-six by which point in time the [TS]

00:08:05   tide had turned that was the best record [TS]

00:08:07   we were on to something else by then [TS]

00:08:09   yeah it has a valedictory kind of that [TS]

00:08:13   the word I'm looking for it has a yeah I [TS]

00:08:16   mean you know they did the what they do [TS]

00:08:17   after that they did rank but no that was [TS]

00:08:21   that's Cena Meat Is Murder I don't think [TS]

00:08:23   that's that strong of a record it's got [TS]

00:08:25   sad master ritual one of the great songs [TS]

00:08:27   agreed that it is not that strong of a [TS]

00:08:29   record okay so say there's cheese upon [TS]

00:08:32   which we can all agree yeah we can agree [TS]

00:08:35   upon the cheese that the Smiths are not [TS]

00:08:37   very negative you can't land a fraction [TS]

00:08:40   we've been working on fractions over [TS]

00:08:44   here at the house you [TS]

00:08:45   kidding already well this is the price [TS]

00:08:47   that she's had a birthday not too long [TS]

00:08:49   ago yes she did and creamy to say happy [TS]

00:08:52   birthday to people for their kids it's [TS]

00:08:54   weird but it was on my calendar so you [TS]

00:08:56   know belated happy birthday at all you [TS]

00:08:57   creep oh thank you thank you aware that [TS]

00:09:00   I I meditated upon and I went holy God [TS]

00:09:02   how is John's child dattels did you say [TS]

00:09:07   kumquat a comma or whatever but who will [TS]

00:09:10   call cops say what could you call me [TS]

00:09:13   becca boo boo I we did we had a birthday [TS]

00:09:18   and you know when I said to her would [TS]

00:09:22   you like to go to the museum or to the [TS]

00:09:24   zoo or to a a wide open park and she [TS]

00:09:28   said no I would like to go to the family [TS]

00:09:29   fun center which is a place here in [TS]

00:09:32   Seattle that is kind of like being [TS]

00:09:34   inside a pachinko game oh no is it like [TS]

00:09:37   a Charles E Cheese it's it's worse it's [TS]

00:09:41   Thursday Dave's and busters it's like [TS]

00:09:44   the airport at in Reno know for kids it [TS]

00:09:49   teaches them how to use slot machines it [TS]

00:09:51   teaches them overstimulation center it's [TS]

00:09:54   just like beaming nobody imagines me and [TS]

00:09:59   but there are also rides like inside [TS]

00:10:03   rides things that you know those things [TS]

00:10:06   that take you up high and then drop you [TS]

00:10:07   down but it's all inside a giant box [TS]

00:10:09   okay and there's a pizza parlor and if [TS]

00:10:12   you and when you're playing these arcade [TS]

00:10:14   games it it rewards you in tickets and [TS]

00:10:16   then you take the tickets over the [TS]

00:10:17   counter and you buy a rubber fish or [TS]

00:10:19   something yeah a rubber fish and then [TS]

00:10:21   outdoor outdoors there's a miniature [TS]

00:10:24   golf there's some big big rides and then [TS]

00:10:27   gas powered go-karts oh my goodness and [TS]

00:10:32   so she wanted to go I was like I really [TS]

00:10:36   don't want to you know like we're trying [TS]

00:10:38   to be we're trying to be good parents [TS]

00:10:40   we're trying to present ourselves as [TS]

00:10:41   parents that read the read you stories [TS]

00:10:44   at night about the you know the Jewish [TS]

00:10:47   Diaspora we're not trying to be parents [TS]

00:10:49   that are like we're having a birthday [TS]

00:10:51   party at you know at the Reno Airport [TS]

00:10:55   and so all of the moms [TS]

00:10:57   who go to our sort of a pas de take the [TS]

00:11:02   places where there's a surpassing number [TS]

00:11:04   of people vaping yeah oh my god you know [TS]

00:11:08   her birthday party is at a now a venue [TS]

00:11:11   where there are police officers [TS]

00:11:12   stationed well you know well I will come [TS]

00:11:16   back to this but there's there's the [TS]

00:11:17   rumor was that there there are rashes of [TS]

00:11:19   fights that happen at charles e cheeses [TS]

00:11:21   there's been some research that doesn't [TS]

00:11:23   exactly prove that but these family fun [TS]

00:11:26   centers are not always fun for the [TS]

00:11:27   family let alone near the center boy [TS]

00:11:29   I'll say all the reason did they serve [TS]

00:11:31   alcohol at the family fun center at this [TS]

00:11:34   fun least remember I do not know okay [TS]

00:11:36   I'm not sure you know I but you notice [TS]

00:11:39   any any too much adult grab-ass going on [TS]

00:11:41   Oh plenty plenty of adult grab-ass I [TS]

00:11:45   mean they're they're cops not only [TS]

00:11:46   parked out front with their like gang [TS]

00:11:48   cars they're blacked out gang cars but [TS]

00:11:52   there are like cops just leaning against [TS]

00:11:53   the wall in there just like hanging out [TS]

00:11:56   by ms pacman making sure there's no [TS]

00:11:57   monkey business going on just hanging [TS]

00:11:59   out yeah and miss back man you know [TS]

00:12:01   there was no such thing no this was all [TS]

00:12:03   like throw the ball into the hoop winner [TS]

00:12:06   what win a plastic foot long walk uh [TS]

00:12:09   Anna pizza parlor where they served [TS]

00:12:11   pictures of different fluorescent [TS]

00:12:15   colored juice you know like drank [TS]

00:12:19   basically like green drank freeload like [TS]

00:12:22   purple drank in case you want to get get [TS]

00:12:26   screwed up or crunk down yeah so for [TS]

00:12:29   months every time her birthday would [TS]

00:12:32   come up which it came up all the time [TS]

00:12:34   because you know it's a major miles the [TS]

00:12:36   major thing on her horizon beats with [TS]

00:12:38   Chris Christmas in terms of the looking [TS]

00:12:40   forward to you and how this will be [TS]

00:12:42   different this next time exactly a lot [TS]

00:12:45   so birthday's coming up here so what did [TS]

00:12:48   we say we were known as it's like the [TS]

00:12:50   day of my daughter's wedding it really [TS]

00:12:52   is it's like The Godfather is not [TS]

00:12:54   allowed to say no she this is where she [TS]

00:12:55   tries to jam in the most over-the-top [TS]

00:12:58   nonsensical thing she says when it's my [TS]

00:13:00   birthday next time yeah yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:13:03   yeah [TS]

00:13:04   yeah we're going to get a hundred [TS]

00:13:05   thousand pallets of strawberries and [TS]

00:13:07   yeah i remember my senior year the [TS]

00:13:11   anchorage daily news sent a reporter and [TS]

00:13:15   a photographer to document our senior [TS]

00:13:18   class all the way through the year and [TS]

00:13:21   so they showed up at the beginning of [TS]

00:13:23   this the this our senior year and they [TS]

00:13:25   picked a half a dozen seniors that they [TS]

00:13:29   were going to follow all year long and [TS]

00:13:31   document you know what happened and i [TS]

00:13:34   was one of the seniors and one of the [TS]

00:13:37   other seniors was sort of that like the [TS]

00:13:39   head cheerleader and the night of our [TS]

00:13:42   prom scene senior ball at two o'clock in [TS]

00:13:48   the morning I had to go to work because [TS]

00:13:50   I was a VJ on Anchorage's of course you [TS]

00:13:54   know music television station catch-22 [TS]

00:13:56   and so you know that the photographer [TS]

00:14:00   and the reporter one of the things they [TS]

00:14:02   did that night was they you know cuz i'm [TS]

00:14:04   there at the dance and then after the [TS]

00:14:06   dance go to a big party my date and i [TS]

00:14:08   are there you know kiss under the [TS]

00:14:11   mistletoe or whatever you do want to [TS]

00:14:12   senior ball and then i was like sorry [TS]

00:14:15   I've got to go to work which at the time [TS]

00:14:17   seemed very baller right very like I've [TS]

00:14:21   got to go to work at the TV station [TS]

00:14:23   sorry gotta gotta bail on your little [TS]

00:14:25   high school party and so there's a [TS]

00:14:28   picture of me in the in the newspaper in [TS]

00:14:30   my tuxedo like clocking in to my job [TS]

00:14:33   where there was no one else right I ran [TS]

00:14:35   that TV station all by myself in the [TS]

00:14:37   middle of the night so quadruple e cool [TS]

00:14:40   like oh they just handed over the TV [TS]

00:14:42   station to the 17 year old but the girl [TS]

00:14:47   that was the head cheerleader her mother [TS]

00:14:50   on the night of the prom where she's [TS]

00:14:53   getting dressed in some kind of thing [TS]

00:14:55   from the top of a wedding cake you know [TS]

00:14:57   like it's like Anna and Elsa but [TS]

00:15:01   bleached completely white who everything [TS]

00:15:04   right she's getting dressed up I don't [TS]

00:15:06   know she had a tiara but almost and her [TS]

00:15:08   mother says to the reporters after her [TS]

00:15:12   wedding day tonight is the most [TS]

00:15:15   important [TS]

00:15:15   night of her life so we want to make [TS]

00:15:18   everything perfect God and that sentence [TS]

00:15:23   just like just reverberation you knew [TS]

00:15:26   that was a little bit I can do it was [TS]

00:15:28   just like wait a minute what who how [TS]

00:15:31   like the prom no and I don't think that [TS]

00:15:36   that is such a terrible it's alongside [TS]

00:15:39   like these are the best years of your [TS]

00:15:40   life like it's such a terrible message [TS]

00:15:43   yeah no they are not no not no you need [TS]

00:15:46   for the opposite it gets better as dan [TS]

00:15:48   savage says like do not oh my god tell [TS]

00:15:52   the boss you're in a period now that's [TS]

00:15:54   like a terrible rounding error in your [TS]

00:15:55   life that you will actually get over [TS]

00:15:58   your senior ball yeah no no it's no but [TS]

00:16:02   I also like to compare it to the wedding [TS]

00:16:03   how great is that yeah right bo to make [TS]

00:16:06   a man happy this is your last time to be [TS]

00:16:08   on a wedding cake by herself the wedding [TS]

00:16:10   which is the most important obviously [TS]

00:16:13   and the thing is I think that my pet and [TS]

00:16:15   and this girl who at the time was um you [TS]

00:16:19   know she was a figure of fascination to [TS]

00:16:22   me because she was in that other world [TS]

00:16:24   right she's the head cheerleader shit [TS]

00:16:26   this is the 80s so her bangs went up [TS]

00:16:29   like the cliffs of Dover up above her [TS]

00:16:32   head and were sprayed up into her hair [TS]

00:16:35   was just this phoenicia dead like that [TS]

00:16:36   front hair muffin thing we're kind of [TS]

00:16:38   cascades over oh yeah her senior [TS]

00:16:41   photographed her hair is bigger than the [TS]

00:16:43   rest of her huh and you know and she [TS]

00:16:46   hadn't even her name was a name that [TS]

00:16:48   suggested a kind of like bubbly [TS]

00:16:51   vivacious you know go get her person and [TS]

00:16:54   so she was both a figure of fascination [TS]

00:16:56   and you know and somebody that I was [TS]

00:16:59   like Ike I stole her license plate at [TS]

00:17:01   what she had a personalized license [TS]

00:17:03   plate on here and I just go boys her [TS]

00:17:05   name it was her name God and I and I and [TS]

00:17:09   I put the license plate on the wall of [TS]

00:17:12   my room in a point place of pride and [TS]

00:17:13   she would she would come to me with her [TS]

00:17:16   like gang of seven girls and say I want [TS]

00:17:19   my license playback I know you have it [TS]

00:17:20   and I would stand there in my like smug [TS]

00:17:23   tortoiseshell glasses proto asshole [TS]

00:17:27   if you like listen listen I don't you've [TS]

00:17:31   got the wrong information she's like I [TS]

00:17:34   know you are my license plate on the [TS]

00:17:35   wallet room I've heard it from multiple [TS]

00:17:37   anyway I eventually gave her her to [TS]

00:17:39   license plate back because how you talk [TS]

00:17:41   to it at the end of the year at the end [TS]

00:17:43   of the year I repaid all debts today is [TS]

00:17:46   a day where I repay all that oh you [TS]

00:17:48   settle all the family's business slot [TS]

00:17:50   Chi mm-hmm uh and so I went around I [TS]

00:17:55   gave I gave a girl Moe green I gave a [TS]

00:17:59   girl a two hundred dollars in one dollar [TS]

00:18:03   bills like two fat stacks of one dollar [TS]

00:18:09   bills because I owed her I owed her [TS]

00:18:11   something and I was like and I said you [TS]

00:18:14   know I can oh and I put it inside of a [TS]

00:18:16   VHS cassette tape case so accurate so [TS]

00:18:21   where'd you put so much work into this [TS]

00:18:23   yeah well I got a little present for you [TS]

00:18:25   know and everything I money back then [TS]

00:18:27   well fuck it was a huge amount of money [TS]

00:18:29   but I was settling all scores because I [TS]

00:18:31   was leaked I was out of there I was [TS]

00:18:33   leaving Alaska and I wanted everybody [TS]

00:18:35   you know you get your license plate back [TS]

00:18:38   here's two hundred dollars in a in a VHS [TS]

00:18:40   you know like here's your bicycle back I [TS]

00:18:42   was going around I was a terrible [TS]

00:18:44   terrible terrible teenager to my peers [TS]

00:18:46   right and so I had a lot of debts to [TS]

00:18:48   repay yeah I actually went over to a [TS]

00:18:51   friend's house and like a sheetrock and [TS]

00:18:55   spackled a hole that I had made in the [TS]

00:18:57   wall of his living room oh my goodness i [TS]

00:18:59   had a lot of stuff to do i had a lot of [TS]

00:19:01   debts to repay Wow every once in a while [TS]

00:19:03   i'll post something on the internet some [TS]

00:19:05   picture of me from high school and i'll [TS]

00:19:06   get three or four comments from people [TS]

00:19:07   that i knew in high school that are just [TS]

00:19:09   like fuck you you would such a bit he [TS]

00:19:12   made my list still suck you really now [TS]

00:19:15   that I see that picture of you that old [TS]

00:19:17   face of you I remember how much I [TS]

00:19:19   despise you but anyway so this girl has [TS]

00:19:22   become a good friend of mine she lives [TS]

00:19:24   here in Seattle she's incredibly a [TS]

00:19:26   cheerleader yeah no kidding yeah yeah [TS]

00:19:29   she's one of those people that turn that [TS]

00:19:31   that remained like really vivacious and [TS]

00:19:37   she's incredibly supportive like [TS]

00:19:39   everybody that she knew [TS]

00:19:41   act then she's rooting for them you know [TS]

00:19:44   that's not the outcome I was hoping for [TS]

00:19:45   I hate to say no I feel ya you you [TS]

00:19:48   thought she was gonna get some kind of [TS]

00:19:49   like comeuppance but in fact she like [TS]

00:19:51   she lives in bellevue she's I thought [TS]

00:19:55   she'd end up doing meth in a Ford Escort [TS]

00:19:57   no she's a she's a she's like she comes [TS]

00:20:01   to long winters shows and it's not her [TS]

00:20:04   miliar right like she's really reaching [TS]

00:20:06   out yeah her husband works at Microsoft [TS]

00:20:09   they live in a big house they're very [TS]

00:20:11   they go to vacation in Arizona or [TS]

00:20:14   whatever but she comes and she is like [TS]

00:20:16   she's not only like at the show but [TS]

00:20:19   she's also spreading the word of how [TS]

00:20:21   good it is to all of the people that [TS]

00:20:23   inner high school it's like really [TS]

00:20:25   delightful what a nice person she turned [TS]

00:20:28   into and I also turned into a nice [TS]

00:20:30   person so what do you know hmm right [TS]

00:20:32   like the niceness got on us somehow and [TS]

00:20:35   can't shake it which which step is the [TS]

00:20:37   amends somewhere let's see let's see [TS]

00:20:42   over alcohol and and my life had become [TS]

00:20:46   unmanageable then believe that the power [TS]

00:20:49   grid myself could restore me steps at [TS]

00:20:51   nine yeah nine all the way out there you [TS]

00:20:54   got to make a list mm-hmm of all the [TS]

00:20:56   people and then go around make amends to [TS]

00:20:58   them a step 8 you make a list of people [TS]

00:21:00   who are harm step 9 you make direct [TS]

00:21:03   amends step step 10 you don't talk about [TS]

00:21:05   Fight Club direct amends where possible [TS]

00:21:08   except i went to do so would injure them [TS]

00:21:12   or others yes speak and they needed to [TS]

00:21:14   put that in there because think about it [TS]

00:21:16   some people don't want to be amended [TS]

00:21:17   that's right and all the asshole uh all [TS]

00:21:21   the asshole alcoholics who are nine [TS]

00:21:23   steps into their recovery are like you [TS]

00:21:25   know what I'm gonna go to my fucking ex [TS]

00:21:27   girlfriend and I'm gonna make amends to [TS]

00:21:28   her whether she likes it or not I'm [TS]

00:21:30   gonna mend the shit out of this that's [TS]

00:21:32   right you know this is a good excuse to [TS]

00:21:34   go back to that place that I was [TS]

00:21:36   permanently barred from and make amends [TS]

00:21:39   and they and that restraining order [TS]

00:21:41   won't apply because I'm making amends [TS]

00:21:42   that's right there's an asterisk on [TS]

00:21:44   every restraining order that's right [TS]

00:21:46   sorry it's not how it works keep Europe [TS]

00:21:49   you know keep your amends pop you know [TS]

00:21:51   what you were getting into [TS]

00:21:52   you went with me you knew you knew what [TS]

00:21:55   I was like when you went with me you [TS]

00:21:58   went with me did you go with somebody in [TS]

00:22:00   high school the going with yours yeah [TS]

00:22:02   did you go with somebody I exclusively [TS]

00:22:04   went with a one person well no I'm a [TS]

00:22:07   serial monogamist I never dated but [TS]

00:22:10   basically to me a date in retrospect is [TS]

00:22:13   just an unsuccessful long-term [TS]

00:22:15   relationship mm-hmm I never I mean all [TS]

00:22:18   of all every date I ever had was a [TS]

00:22:20   shitshow by going back to like seventh [TS]

00:22:22   grade and being a military school and [TS]

00:22:24   going to the cotillion with Elaine [TS]

00:22:26   poorly hello hello Cora lane uh did you [TS]

00:22:30   add time that night oh god yes but we're [TS]

00:22:34   using a sword re wearing a sorcerers now [TS]

00:22:36   that's just that's just the I think the [TS]

00:22:38   company guy Don gets a sword I didn't [TS]

00:22:40   get that no no but I had a [TS]

00:22:42   double-breasted navy blue suit with [TS]

00:22:44   patches and my rank which is a seaman [TS]

00:22:46   navigator FEMEN am i might have been i [TS]

00:22:48   might have been a petty officer 3rd [TS]

00:22:50   class at that point mmm yeah i drink [TS]

00:22:53   quickly i move quickly through through [TS]

00:22:55   through the ranks was this like the [TS]

00:22:57   movie taps as discussed previously i [TS]

00:23:02   always had a lot of problems with pretty [TS]

00:23:04   much every military school movie in [TS]

00:23:07   terms of like some aspect that they got [TS]

00:23:09   incredibly wrong because on the one hand [TS]

00:23:11   the school that I went to was not a [TS]

00:23:13   strictly a punishment school it was very [TS]

00:23:16   costly but it was not it is not like the [TS]

00:23:18   goddamn military school where you send [TS]

00:23:20   the goddamn you know what's his name kid [TS]

00:23:22   it was um but it also was not a prep I [TS]

00:23:26   mean it was a prep school but it wasn't [TS]

00:23:28   you and I mean like is portrayed in [TS]

00:23:31   movies it's some combination of a place [TS]

00:23:34   you send a bad kid like a Donald Trump [TS]

00:23:35   to get straightened out right boys for [TS]

00:23:38   rigid military includes a via my junior [TS]

00:23:40   yeah and it wasn't really either those [TS]

00:23:42   but it was very it was very military I [TS]

00:23:46   mean in the sense that like you didn't [TS]

00:23:49   get to have any kind of fucking Tom [TS]

00:23:50   Cruise haircut when you were there like [TS]

00:23:51   you had to get your hair cut and you had [TS]

00:23:53   to like you had to shine your shoes and [TS]

00:23:56   you know like the proper way you [TS]

00:23:58   couldn't cheat you couldn't like you [TS]

00:23:59   know put but uh what's that stuff we [TS]

00:24:02   used to use shine and glow you like [TS]

00:24:03   couldn't fake it yet the really shine [TS]

00:24:05   your shoes you to clean your [TS]

00:24:06   room every morning you know I was on [TS]

00:24:08   drill team so I marched even more than I [TS]

00:24:10   needed to so you couldn't sit up in the [TS]

00:24:13   top floor window like Tom Cruise with an [TS]

00:24:15   m60 machine gun and shoot at tanks until [TS]

00:24:17   they blew up you can't go to the top [TS]

00:24:18   window I don't think until you're at [TS]

00:24:20   least you're an upperclassman yeah so [TS]

00:24:21   were there people in your school that [TS]

00:24:23   fast-tracked into Annapolis um I imagine [TS]

00:24:26   so I was only there for seventh grade so [TS]

00:24:29   I but no i mean like look who went there [TS]

00:24:32   oh I think Ashton Kutcher what's my [TS]

00:24:35   military school really i think i'm on [TS]

00:24:39   the page of i think i'm on the page of [TS]

00:24:43   alumni from this school I will find out [TS]

00:24:45   he's going to find out admiral farragut [TS]

00:24:48   academy there's one in there's one in [TS]

00:24:51   New Jersey oh it's a multi thing and [TS]

00:24:55   there's one in st. Petersburg okay here [TS]

00:24:56   we go here's a few CEO Spike Mendelsohn [TS]

00:24:59   from Top Chef yeah the the singer and [TS]

00:25:03   songwriter guitarist stephen stills uh [TS]

00:25:05   really you know I've met and performed [TS]

00:25:09   with stephen stills according to [TS]

00:25:10   wikipedia internet personality merlin [TS]

00:25:12   mann attended at st. Petersburg where he [TS]

00:25:15   was a member of diplomacy club Oh [TS]

00:25:16   diplomacy was all true well Lorenzo [TS]

00:25:19   Lamas Lorenzo Lamas Lorenzo Lamas of [TS]

00:25:21   course famous alum Lorenzo Lamas uh-huh [TS]

00:25:24   did you so what happened to a lame that [TS]

00:25:27   night well here's the thing she just [TS]

00:25:29   bored or did you spill the soup partner [TS]

00:25:31   or whatever I mean it was my first like [TS]

00:25:35   the closest thing to like an actual date [TS]

00:25:37   that I had been on I was 13 years old [TS]

00:25:39   and here's the thing so so bad so there [TS]

00:25:42   was this woman who was the widow of a [TS]

00:25:45   contributor major contributor to the [TS]

00:25:47   school she taught dancing lessons and so [TS]

00:25:50   you would go to dancing lessons in if [TS]

00:25:52   memory serves it was in the building [TS]

00:25:54   that was named after her husband he pay [TS]

00:25:56   forty five dollars 49 dance lessons you [TS]

00:25:58   get a bunch of dorky boys over here from [TS]

00:26:01   Admiral Farragut and then they trucked [TS]

00:26:03   in all of these girls from a different [TS]

00:26:05   private school it was it was a total [TS]

00:26:07   racket oh and there were dance classes [TS]

00:26:09   and so you would go in dance classes and [TS]

00:26:11   you learn you learn how to disco dance [TS]

00:26:13   you learn how to waltz you know you had [TS]

00:26:16   to like touch a girl and dance was [TS]

00:26:17   horrifying yeah and this culminated [TS]

00:26:19   and it is all like preparation first of [TS]

00:26:21   all I'd padded this lady's purse quite [TS]

00:26:23   night first quite nicely but then you [TS]

00:26:25   end up going to the cotillion so the [TS]

00:26:27   cotillion you wear your dress blues you [TS]

00:26:30   know the girls got a fancy dress and a [TS]

00:26:31   croissant her wrist and elaine was [TS]

00:26:34   probably i got a picture here somewhere [TS]

00:26:35   elaine was probably a good six inches [TS]

00:26:37   taller than me I don't think she liked [TS]

00:26:40   me and I I think she really barely [TS]

00:26:43   suffered through the whole night she was [TS]

00:26:45   a good sport but like I was not a good [TS]

00:26:47   person to be on a date with and and how [TS]

00:26:49   were you paired you ask him you know [TS]

00:26:52   back in dance class usually I see I see [TS]

00:26:55   and so was she did she appeal to you [TS]

00:26:58   yeah I mean I thought she was really [TS]

00:27:00   cute she was like she was a tall slender [TS]

00:27:02   you know Chinese American Girl and there [TS]

00:27:07   was there's another girl in the class [TS]

00:27:08   that I was desperately attracted to but [TS]

00:27:10   that was never going to happen she wore [TS]

00:27:12   like you know white jeans and one of [TS]

00:27:13   those little like double belts not white [TS]

00:27:15   jeans and a double-double belt the loop [TS]

00:27:18   around belt no I was pretty hot look in [TS]

00:27:20   1979 yeah was it was uh it was it was a [TS]

00:27:24   little bit like yeah it's not vacation [TS]

00:27:27   Elaine ended up being somewhat [TS]

00:27:29   prototypical of my type in some ways [TS]

00:27:31   like a slender or awkward bookish mmm no [TS]

00:27:36   I mean it wasn't it wasn't terrible and [TS]

00:27:38   ended okay there wasn't any like kissing [TS]

00:27:40   or anything there's no graphics as you [TS]

00:27:42   say none yeah did you know the first six [TS]

00:27:47   girls that I made it with all had red [TS]

00:27:52   hair and I didn't miss any oxygen [TS]

00:27:56   history John well it I didn't notice it [TS]

00:27:59   until uh until one day I was sitting [TS]

00:28:04   reflecting and said wait a minute you're [TS]

00:28:08   kidding I have only ever been with girls [TS]

00:28:11   with red hair I was like but that's not [TS]

00:28:14   even that's not even it wasn't like red [TS]

00:28:17   haired girls were not who I would have [TS]

00:28:19   identified that's not your wheelhouse my [TS]

00:28:22   type right up unit like a small sturdy [TS]

00:28:24   Jewess in combat boots if memory serves [TS]

00:28:27   mm-hmm sturdy cheers uh you know like [TS]

00:28:30   ready to go I like a like [TS]

00:28:32   a little Jewish or little dark-haired [TS]

00:28:34   girl right she can be a jolly good site [TS]

00:28:36   you good sized nose like a latin girl or [TS]

00:28:39   a you know Mediterranean girl Semitic [TS]

00:28:42   girl yes ready to go right ready to [TS]

00:28:45   climb a fence I'm intense and she's got [TS]

00:28:47   the right shoes yep and you know and she [TS]

00:28:50   knows her way around a pistol mm-hmm [TS]

00:28:52   because she is a pistol as my dad would [TS]

00:28:55   say she's little that's terrific alert [TS]

00:28:58   she's a boy she's a pistol uh but that [TS]

00:29:02   gal but red hair my you know my first [TS]

00:29:06   girlfriend had hair like an Irish setter [TS]

00:29:08   and then it was just like Reza Reza [TS]

00:29:11   through the doctor yeah okay Oh in we [TS]

00:29:14   don't we stop mentioning her name right [TS]

00:29:16   cuz cuz people her yeah we stopped [TS]

00:29:18   mentioning her name somebody sent me any [TS]

00:29:20   email or text when they said it's unah [TS]

00:29:23   Twitter look at the link to her bio it [TS]

00:29:25   Princeton well she's fine she's even [TS]

00:29:28   she'll be fine cheeky she walks around [TS]

00:29:30   with a retinue of security officers [TS]

00:29:32   that's a good idea she sent me a text [TS]

00:29:34   and she said do you still have the pink [TS]

00:29:37   leopard spot tuxedo that my mother made [TS]

00:29:41   for you out of my father's wedding the [TS]

00:29:44   suit that we wore to the junior prom Oh [TS]

00:29:48   her mother made us matching outfits at [TS]

00:29:51   our request we went to a fabric store [TS]

00:29:53   she and I because this is the type of [TS]

00:29:55   thing what you do in high school in [TS]

00:29:57   Anchorage go to the fabric store her and [TS]

00:29:59   we found pink leopard spot satin there [TS]

00:30:03   and and my date and I bought a big role [TS]

00:30:07   of it and took it home to her mother who [TS]

00:30:09   was a seamstress and we said we want our [TS]

00:30:10   prom outfits made out of this pink satin [TS]

00:30:13   and so her mother made her strapless [TS]

00:30:16   ball gown out of black uh you know [TS]

00:30:21   taffeta and this pink leopard spot and [TS]

00:30:24   then she took her her husband's wedding [TS]

00:30:26   suit they'd been married in like [TS]

00:30:27   nineteen sixty and so he had this he was [TS]

00:30:30   he was my size a little bit maybe leaner [TS]

00:30:34   than I was but he had this black thin [TS]

00:30:38   thin lapel three button cuffed pants you [TS]

00:30:42   know 1959 wedding suit [TS]

00:30:44   because they were married in Oklahoma [TS]

00:30:46   and they didn't have tuxedos there and [TS]

00:30:48   she put pink taffeta pink pink satin [TS]

00:30:53   leopard spot on the lapels she covered [TS]

00:30:56   the buttons she put a stripe down the [TS]

00:30:59   side of the pan that sounds atrocious [TS]

00:31:01   she made a cummerbund and a bow tie and [TS]

00:31:05   a pocket square and like maybe even [TS]

00:31:08   lined the jacket with this pink pink [TS]

00:31:10   leopard spot if she says that cows a [TS]

00:31:12   pistol what a gamer she was a pistol [TS]

00:31:14   this was nineteen eighty-five like when [TS]

00:31:17   it was there was none none more black [TS]

00:31:19   yeah animal prints ran amok in 1980 yes [TS]

00:31:23   yeah and this was you know like somebody [TS]

00:31:25   was making this fabric right so the [TS]

00:31:28   presumption was it was going to get you [TS]

00:31:29   somewhere yeah anyway so I get a text [TS]

00:31:32   from my high school girlfriend saying my [TS]

00:31:35   son is going to junior prom and he would [TS]

00:31:40   like to wear your suit turn turn turn my [TS]

00:31:44   own father's wedding suit which was then [TS]

00:31:46   turned into your junior prom suit which [TS]

00:31:48   you she's asking me if I still have it [TS]

00:31:50   not only do I still have it i can still [TS]

00:31:52   wear it oh come on you said i'll of [TS]

00:31:54   course you stuck out of here John [TS]

00:31:55   Roderick yeah and I warrant you to carry [TS]

00:31:58   that through all of your moments in your [TS]

00:32:01   20s I wore it to shawna nelson's wedding [TS]

00:32:04   wow I where'd all you know not all the [TS]

00:32:07   time but I would wear it to those events [TS]

00:32:08   where I was like you've got to come [TS]

00:32:10   correct to this event and I'm like oh do [TS]

00:32:14   you mean come correct like this perhaps [TS]

00:32:16   perchance did you see did you expect [TS]

00:32:19   this no one expects the fucking pink [TS]

00:32:22   leopard spot Inquisition oh so I'm [TS]

00:32:26   packaging this up i still have it and [TS]

00:32:28   all its accoutrements all of the pocket [TS]

00:32:32   square and the and the cummerbund and so [TS]

00:32:34   forth and i'm sending it off to the to [TS]

00:32:37   the northeast where this young man the [TS]

00:32:40   16 year old second son is going to wear [TS]

00:32:43   it to his prom my god and then he's a [TS]

00:32:46   he's going to send it back to me and [TS]

00:32:48   then I'm I guess when my daughter is [TS]

00:32:50   ready for her problem I'm gonna ask I'm [TS]

00:32:54   gonna ask my my good friend to send her [TS]

00:32:56   dress [TS]

00:32:57   to me oh my goodness and it will just go [TS]

00:33:00   and then we will die but the suit and [TS]

00:33:02   dress will continue to go from coast to [TS]

00:33:05   coast ad infinitum this is suddenly [TS]

00:33:08   strangely touching that's amazing yeah [TS]

00:33:11   we're sending it back to you I think [TS]

00:33:13   it's very interesting i'm surprised she [TS]

00:33:14   wouldn't keep it for her own collection [TS]

00:33:16   well you know the thing is that her [TS]

00:33:20   father actually is is dying right now oh [TS]

00:33:24   god and i thought that he there down in [TS]

00:33:26   central oregon i thought i would go down [TS]

00:33:28   and visit him um Todd but then I [TS]

00:33:31   remembered that he despised me okay the [TS]

00:33:34   one thing that he would say to me [TS]

00:33:36   whenever I would come over to the house [TS]

00:33:38   which was all the time because she was [TS]

00:33:39   my girlfriend I would come in and he [TS]

00:33:41   would he would he had a chick you know [TS]

00:33:43   he had a chair like every adult man in [TS]

00:33:45   that era right like that's dad's chair [TS]

00:33:48   right and he'd be sitting in his chair [TS]

00:33:50   watching the McGill Larrabee's these [TS]

00:33:52   kids today don't understand like and he [TS]

00:33:54   dad dad had a chair and he would say as [TS]

00:33:57   I would walk in the entryway I'd be [TS]

00:33:59   kicking the snow off my boots and he [TS]

00:34:01   would say don't let the doorknob hit you [TS]

00:34:03   in the ass on the way out he'd be [TS]

00:34:05   sitting in the chair when he said that [TS]

00:34:06   he said Jeremy I would go and then I [TS]

00:34:08   would because it was a split-level house [TS]

00:34:10   because every house in Anchorage is a [TS]

00:34:11   split-level house I would just take the [TS]

00:34:13   down I would take the stairs down I [TS]

00:34:15   would I would not take the stairs up his [TS]

00:34:18   mom or her mom loved me they had a [TS]

00:34:21   wiener dog and the wiener dog was [TS]

00:34:23   terrified of wire hangers I don't want [TS]

00:34:27   to get into that that's the whole second [TS]

00:34:29   was the original owner of the wiener dog [TS]

00:34:31   yeah yeah yeah the wiener dog just hated [TS]

00:34:33   wire hangers and the we saw motor they [TS]

00:34:36   were used for punishment at some point [TS]

00:34:37   no no not at all there they were these [TS]

00:34:40   were lovely people okay but but my uh my [TS]

00:34:43   girlfriend's mother was a kind of boy [TS]

00:34:46   she was a pistol she really was a piss I [TS]

00:34:48   cows this line oh but you know she also [TS]

00:34:50   sheet she so she was a seamstress she [TS]

00:34:52   was a seamstress but also had been a [TS]

00:34:53   reporter before she was married she was [TS]

00:34:55   a journalist but she had a devilish [TS]

00:34:58   streak and she loved the wiener dog but [TS]

00:35:01   she would also sometimes just for [TS]

00:35:03   amusement take like four wire hangers [TS]

00:35:05   out of the closet just rattle them yeah [TS]

00:35:07   they're dogwood oh boy run around [TS]

00:35:10   hide under the couch it was hilarious [TS]

00:35:11   lots of laughs torturing animals then it [TS]

00:35:14   was before we realized animals had [TS]

00:35:16   feelings I would do that I play a [TS]

00:35:17   harmonica to make my dog car I he just [TS]

00:35:20   got all dogs hate harmonicas uh-huh it [TS]

00:35:24   was funny Oh mr. his head like this he [TS]

00:35:26   go hmm keep his head turn like this and [TS]

00:35:30   go home we have the blues mm-hmm sure [TS]

00:35:37   did uh yeah you know when you're coming [TS]

00:35:40   into your last what may be your last [TS]

00:35:42   days yeah you shouldn't go burn too much [TS]

00:35:46   that guy's time yeah just be down like [TS]

00:35:48   hey how are you John I guess about you [TS]

00:35:50   like especially like don't don't start [TS]

00:35:51   showing up like twice a day right [TS]

00:35:53   remember me yes yeah exactly I can ask [TS]

00:35:57   them but no I assume that she'll send me [TS]

00:36:01   the suit bag because uh because the suit [TS]

00:36:07   in the hands of a 16 year old is you [TS]

00:36:11   know I was a sixteen-year-old it was [TS]

00:36:12   fairly like already sentimental enough [TS]

00:36:15   to know like this is my prom suit I am [TS]

00:36:19   going to keep this I'm going to wear it [TS]

00:36:22   but I'm gonna wear it I'm not gonna like [TS]

00:36:24   this is not a suit that I'm gonna bleed [TS]

00:36:26   in look at y'all popping wheelies no [TS]

00:36:29   I've got suits I'm gonna bleed in this [TS]

00:36:32   is not and if you've made that [TS]

00:36:36   distinction though you know you're gonna [TS]

00:36:38   bleed you know you're gonna have suits [TS]

00:36:40   and you say this across this line you [TS]

00:36:42   know you do not cross yeah I have [TS]

00:36:44   definitely taken suits that be that over [TS]

00:36:48   the course of a night went from a nice [TS]

00:36:50   suit that I was wearing a suit you know [TS]

00:36:52   to being a suit that could not be [TS]

00:36:54   recovered like it to the usually blood [TS]

00:36:58   it could not be it was blood and it was [TS]

00:37:01   you know just like Matt Matt well yes [TS]

00:37:04   sure banner that turned into an organic [TS]

00:37:08   matter I mean there was certainly blood [TS]

00:37:10   on suits that could be dry cleaned out [TS]

00:37:12   but there were also suits that could not [TS]

00:37:14   be saved yeah about how upsetting to [TS]

00:37:18   people oops some people right but I were [TS]

00:37:21   like yeah like you look just [TS]

00:37:23   I ain't brown stain on abdomen can [TS]

00:37:26   disturb me yeah just or splatter even [TS]

00:37:29   worse like what outright happened but um [TS]

00:37:31   but you know I think generally when [TS]

00:37:34   you're getting ready to go out at night [TS]

00:37:35   in most cases if you're gonna get blood [TS]

00:37:38   on your suit you have a premonition [TS]

00:37:39   about it as you're getting dressed right [TS]

00:37:42   like you're thinking here's what I'm [TS]

00:37:44   going to this event oh you you think you [TS]

00:37:47   may be a smell trouble yeah you're not [TS]

00:37:49   gonna put on a white suit for instance [TS]

00:37:51   if you think that maybe you're gonna get [TS]

00:37:53   it's gonna get you know rough and tumble [TS]

00:37:55   so you put on a suit that you're like [TS]

00:37:58   you know what it's a suit coat if the [TS]

00:37:59   suit gets blown up yeah yeah but I don't [TS]

00:38:03   know her son well enough to know if he [TS]

00:38:05   feels that way and so him retaining the [TS]

00:38:09   suit in through the rest of his teen [TS]

00:38:12   years he might wear to some college [TS]

00:38:14   fraternity party and get blood on the [TS]

00:38:17   suit and that's you know like uh that's [TS]

00:38:21   not a thing that I'm prepared to risk [TS]

00:38:23   but if he wears it his prom it remains a [TS]

00:38:26   seat of fascination to him I will keep [TS]

00:38:31   the suit again meticulously and then [TS]

00:38:34   when he is in middle age if he's like [TS]

00:38:37   hey my my former bandmate is getting [TS]

00:38:39   married I need a suit for the wedding [TS]

00:38:40   can I have the suit yeah then of course [TS]

00:38:42   I will transfer ownership of the suit [TS]

00:38:44   tan cuz he you sense to he what he would [TS]

00:38:46   understand you don't don't bleed in this [TS]

00:38:48   it will also be his prom suit as well as [TS]

00:38:52   mine and it's his grandfather's wedding [TS]

00:38:55   suit mm-hmm and it passed through this [TS]

00:38:59   Creek euless crazy it passed through [TS]

00:39:01   this crazy story on its way to him but I [TS]

00:39:03   need to see a little bit of sign that [TS]

00:39:05   this kid's got the got the maturity to [TS]

00:39:08   handle that story cuz that's a fucking [TS]

00:39:10   head story you know yeah not not every [TS]

00:39:13   kid is ready for a leopard skin prompt [TS]

00:39:17   suit well I'm not everybody's ready to [TS]

00:39:19   inherit that story mm-hmm no now you're [TS]

00:39:22   part of the legacy now yeah there are a [TS]

00:39:24   lot of stories that you know that that [TS]

00:39:26   you hand over to some young person and [TS]

00:39:28   go and now you inherit the story and you [TS]

00:39:31   can cut a salami with your hands oblate [TS]

00:39:33   I don't think so no you don't you you're [TS]

00:39:36   not gonna do that was bit [TS]

00:39:37   to the wind this is the watch that your [TS]

00:39:39   father your father carried in his anus [TS]

00:39:41   throughout the Hanoi Hilton yeah you [TS]

00:39:44   know you hand that watch over to some [TS]

00:39:45   kid the kids like takes it to a pawn [TS]

00:39:48   shop and get some cash to go to the best [TS]

00:39:51   little whorehouse in Texas or working on [TS]

00:39:53   the counter you send us a little of the [TS]

00:39:55   european girl go back and get it yeah [TS]

00:39:57   exactly you can't you know and then [TS]

00:39:58   Johnny Fontane is going to the bathroom [TS]

00:40:01   mm-hmm I mean the whole thing it could [TS]

00:40:04   have gone a lot of it just to show i'm [TS]

00:40:05   not a hard-hearted man she was the best [TS]

00:40:07   piece of ass I ever had yeah it's not [TS]

00:40:09   it's not a it's a chopper baby you know [TS]

00:40:12   what I mean it's a chopper zeds dead [TS]

00:40:14   baby admiral farragut academy perhaps [TS]

00:40:16   most notable for graduating two of the [TS]

00:40:18   12 men who walked on the moon you're [TS]

00:40:21   into this alan sharp are you kidding [TS]

00:40:22   alan shepard but pieces are being alan [TS]

00:40:25   shepard how many of these academies work [TS]

00:40:27   there the two is started in New Jersey [TS]

00:40:30   and then transmogrified down into st. [TS]

00:40:32   Pete I think st. Pete is the only extant [TS]

00:40:34   one at this point you guys get Alan [TS]

00:40:37   Shepard and you got ya Charles Duke 1972 [TS]

00:40:41   became the tenth person to walk on the [TS]

00:40:43   moon as part of Apollo 16 yeah Chuck [TS]

00:40:46   Duke of 16 Chuck Duke you got William [TS]

00:40:49   colpa who defected to the Nazis in World [TS]

00:40:51   War two uh let's see you got Richard [TS]

00:40:55   mark Marcinko author and former [TS]

00:40:58   commanding officer of US naval Navy SEAL [TS]

00:41:01   Team two still came to ya we get Casper [TS]

00:41:05   Robert Van Dien who was in starship [TS]

00:41:07   troopers okay all right so not actually [TS]

00:41:11   in the military but but well I mean you [TS]

00:41:13   know it would kapiti work she could come [TS]

00:41:15   in descending order Alan Shepard is the [TS]

00:41:17   first famous alumni I'm the penultimate [TS]

00:41:19   one you know I was the only one below me [TS]

00:41:22   is philanthropist and business leader f [TS]

00:41:24   Chris Nelson philanthropist and business [TS]

00:41:27   leader F Chris Nelson now see he's [TS]

00:41:29   almost no see no no I don't know him you [TS]

00:41:33   got to oh look at this you've got [TS]

00:41:34   animator Andy Andy lucky went there and [TS]

00:41:38   be lucky and he lucky famous animator [TS]

00:41:40   famous animator yeah the rest is I'm not [TS]

00:41:43   so sure about singer and actor Eduardo [TS]

00:41:44   adoni mm-hmm [TS]

00:41:47   he's a singer and an actor I you know I [TS]

00:41:49   repla stephen stills so if this well see [TS]

00:41:53   you're in the show business yeah but if [TS]

00:41:55   this uh if the I asked you if the school [TS]

00:41:57   is a pipeline to Annapolis and I'm [TS]

00:41:59   beginning to think hell yes it I think [TS]

00:42:02   it was yeah you know yeah ship is only [TS]

00:42:06   as good as its captain alan shepard [TS]

00:42:09   didn't like didn't come from like a like [TS]

00:42:13   Tampa community college Allen's Oxford [TS]

00:42:17   no he wanted what's the one in New [TS]

00:42:20   Jersey Alan Shepard hails from Derry New [TS]

00:42:23   Hampshire mmm Dairy Dairy you know that [TS]

00:42:27   he ban on nine th on yeah yeah yeah I [TS]

00:42:30   remember no I celebrated his entire [TS]

00:42:31   catalog um I I I think Derry New [TS]

00:42:38   Hampshire was probably one of those [TS]

00:42:39   towns that was named during a time when [TS]

00:42:41   you named a town aspirationally okay [TS]

00:42:44   like you know when you named a town like [TS]

00:42:47   gold strike right or like you know [TS]

00:42:50   silver vein Nevada okay sure and and and [TS]

00:42:55   lamp sure at the time good schools [TS]

00:42:58   Florida yeah good schools good school [TS]

00:43:00   Florida what is that town in Florida [TS]

00:43:02   that's called like Jubilee or oh yeah [TS]

00:43:04   Jubilee or no yeah Jubilees the the fake [TS]

00:43:07   community right yeah like freaky town [TS]

00:43:10   freaky town floor yes the places it's [TS]

00:43:13   like this is a Disney ish community yeah [TS]

00:43:15   yeah yeah Disney but maybe Christian tea [TS]

00:43:17   yeah tubidy new hampshire new hampshire [TS]

00:43:22   that was uh that was like that was the [TS]

00:43:24   aspirate like what are we gonna name our [TS]

00:43:26   town what is it dary isn't that in [TS]

00:43:28   Ireland oh well how's it spelled de rry [TS]

00:43:32   o'deary I thought it was spelled dai ry [TS]

00:43:35   we're gonna try and attract some retiree [TS]

00:43:37   cows yeah or just like hey come to our [TS]

00:43:40   town we have milk butter t'en right [TS]

00:43:43   butter two milks burger and it's not you [TS]

00:43:46   know this isn't a gold rush per se no [TS]

00:43:49   but cheese never goes out of style [TS]

00:43:51   that's true that's the new cat shirts [TS]

00:43:54   looking right like a silver veins gonna [TS]

00:43:57   run dry though the load is [TS]

00:43:59   driving a calm cheesehead yeah the old [TS]

00:44:01   man of the cheese Rock I heard fell off [TS]

00:44:03   then part of the old man fall off of the [TS]

00:44:05   old man of cheese Rock though he fall [TS]

00:44:08   off his eyebrows fellow New Hampshire [TS]

00:44:11   rock face rock face uh I'm sure he's the [TS]

00:44:17   old man of the mountain known as your [TS]

00:44:19   rocks bitch made the right faces fell [TS]

00:44:21   off he's still on the quarter but his [TS]

00:44:23   face slid off the cliff today were you [TS]

00:44:26   where the old man I see I I had a lady [TS]

00:44:27   friend one of my serial monogamy was [TS]

00:44:30   with a woman from contoocook New [TS]

00:44:33   Hampshire so she's one who taught me [TS]

00:44:35   about the old man of the mountain oh [TS]

00:44:36   this is really sad old man on the rock [TS]

00:44:38   face and that old man is me uh go ahead [TS]

00:44:46   go ahead caller yes I'll marry longtime [TS]

00:44:49   listener first-time stone face yeah it's [TS]

00:44:51   complicated cuz you know you want to [TS]

00:44:53   name something it's like when you name a [TS]

00:44:54   kid it's very very complicated stuff [TS]

00:44:57   because then you know you want one does [TS]

00:44:58   not really good through this and so much [TS]

00:45:00   exactly like so many things in life it [TS]

00:45:02   doesn't really happen until it happens [TS]

00:45:04   yeah cuz what happens it really really [TS]

00:45:05   happens it does they stand there and [TS]

00:45:07   they say what's the name of this child I [TS]

00:45:09   have to write it on this piece of paper [TS]

00:45:10   exactly well this is you know it's the [TS]

00:45:12   same way that that all the best you know [TS]

00:45:13   experts on what to do with a child or [TS]

00:45:15   people who have never had a child you [TS]

00:45:18   know they know it all but when you said [TS]

00:45:20   that I do not leave the hospital with my [TS]

00:45:22   child until I told them the name of the [TS]

00:45:24   child see that's the government that's [TS]

00:45:26   the guy that is that true not really [TS]

00:45:28   isn't thing too is that a hoop I'm sorry [TS]

00:45:32   I apologize isn't that the Semitic law [TS]

00:45:36   isn't there a thing like you can't name [TS]

00:45:37   it you can't name it you're not supposed [TS]

00:45:40   to name a kid before it's born cuz [TS]

00:45:42   that's big fat Jewish luck right they [TS]

00:45:44   don't have a name in a certain number of [TS]

00:45:46   days or you gotta return it is that how [TS]

00:45:47   it works you have to name a child before [TS]

00:45:49   you roll a set of dice okay it's like [TS]

00:45:52   it's like a nominal saving throw yeah [TS]

00:45:55   right like you're not when he cited [TS]

00:45:56   dreidel and if it comes up Kentucky you [TS]

00:46:00   get all the gab don't look out a window [TS]

00:46:02   after sunset okay before you name the [TS]

00:46:06   child unless you light a candle and [TS]

00:46:09   drink a cup of milk [TS]

00:46:12   I think that's right in the Torah yep [TS]

00:46:14   yep yep yep it's why they don't eat [TS]

00:46:15   shrimp hmm presented pussies Morrissey's [TS]

00:46:18   haha um so what ya what name is hard we [TS]

00:46:23   went around and around and I tried to be [TS]

00:46:25   scientific about it and so I came up [TS]

00:46:28   with my first pick for name was the name [TS]

00:46:32   that I had somewhat arbitrarily decided [TS]

00:46:35   was the best name because it's a pretty [TS]

00:46:37   neutral name but best of all it is a [TS]

00:46:40   name from which many many names could be [TS]

00:46:43   derived if you have a preference over [TS]

00:46:45   the Prime name ilysm Elizabeth don't [TS]

00:46:49   tell you this no but Elizabeth is the [TS]

00:46:51   ultimate girls name because he can call [TS]

00:46:53   her hey good for me yeah that was my [TS]

00:46:55   first pick out a second he's got Beth [TS]

00:46:59   you could be uh you you could hopefully [TS]

00:47:02   be practically anything yeah Beth you [TS]

00:47:04   can be Liz you can be you know my cousin [TS]

00:47:07   her name is Elizabeth we call her Libby [TS]

00:47:09   oh maybe you could be a Betty but here's [TS]

00:47:13   the thing and this is the way it works [TS]

00:47:14   when you have a partner it got nixed for [TS]

00:47:17   one reason and it's a good reason have [TS]

00:47:19   you ever met anybody good named Liz be [TS]

00:47:24   honest be honest one of the redheads [TS]

00:47:27   that chisel is that figured in one of [TS]

00:47:31   these earlier stories that I was telling [TS]

00:47:33   today uh her name was Lynn okay then [TS]

00:47:36   I'll just stipulate that maybe not all [TS]

00:47:38   not all Liz's but I'm just gonna say [TS]

00:47:40   almost every liz is bad also jonathan [TS]

00:47:43   coulton sister-in-law who sort of [TS]

00:47:46   doubles as a sister wife her name is [TS]

00:47:49   also list okay so not all Liz's but I'm [TS]

00:47:52   sure says hey listen not all this but my [TS]

00:47:54   lady friend who you know got at least an [TS]

00:47:57   equal vote Ecklie had that you know she [TS]

00:47:59   gets naming rights yeah you're not gonna [TS]

00:48:01   name a child over the wishes of the [TS]

00:48:03   mother no no no uh she had been pseudo [TS]

00:48:07   bullied by Al is in her youth because [TS]

00:48:10   most Liz's let's be honest most Lissa's [TS]

00:48:12   are bullies yeah they're a little if you [TS]

00:48:14   if you're gonna avoid somebody at school [TS]

00:48:16   and it's a girl because she's gonna beat [TS]

00:48:18   you up by your locker mmm you know [TS]

00:48:20   saying live yeah i'ma give you I'm gonna [TS]

00:48:22   give you three two one so it's a Liz [TS]

00:48:25   no barrier they're tough moyers I have a [TS]

00:48:30   soft spot for Morris though so but the [TS]

00:48:32   thing is the name that you chose for [TS]

00:48:33   your child is extraordinary it's just [TS]

00:48:35   it's it's a little bit on trend in a way [TS]

00:48:38   I didn't precisely realize because of [TS]

00:48:39   course I went to websites and looked all [TS]

00:48:41   these things up and she has what i would [TS]

00:48:43   call an old lady named yeah richer kind [TS]

00:48:46   of one of the nice ones not like mod or [TS]

00:48:48   yeah Murgatroyd hers yeah burghdroid [TS]

00:48:51   emergence book thanks to Murgatroyd even [TS]

00:48:57   but then when I tell her why I like that [TS]

00:48:59   name like I kind of fall short oh my god [TS]

00:49:00   is this this is really good Beal song [TS]

00:49:02   about a horribly lonely woman and others [TS]

00:49:06   you know there's the lady in help you [TS]

00:49:08   know Eleanor Braun and you know zona [TS]

00:49:10   Roosevelt who kind of look like a statue [TS]

00:49:12   of a horse but she was a great lady she [TS]

00:49:14   was great lady there are some there are [TS]

00:49:17   also some Eleanor's in our larger circle [TS]

00:49:21   right a couple of our friends named [TS]

00:49:22   their shot yes yes I share I did not [TS]

00:49:26   know I did not know speaking of our [TS]

00:49:28   mutual friend I did not know that he had [TS]

00:49:30   an Eleanor yeah well and also other [TS]

00:49:32   Theophilus right yeah that's right but [TS]

00:49:34   there was another friend uh who is a you [TS]

00:49:38   know who is a former former religious [TS]

00:49:41   rock musician what now now secular rock [TS]

00:49:45   musician who also has a daughter oh come [TS]

00:49:47   on yeah so i often get in situations [TS]

00:49:50   really yeah and she's the same age she's [TS]

00:49:55   do exactly the same age as your to [TS]

00:49:56   Jonathan that's a pretty name yeah it's [TS]

00:49:59   a beautiful name but I'm often in [TS]

00:50:01   situations where i am socializing with [TS]

00:50:03   one of my friends and the daughter [TS]

00:50:05   arrives and the thing is all three of [TS]

00:50:07   these young ladies yours and the one and [TS]

00:50:11   then the other they're all like among my [TS]

00:50:14   favorite people in the world right [TS]

00:50:15   they're all between a you know between [TS]

00:50:17   eight and ten or we stop and they're [TS]

00:50:20   just there you know three of my favorite [TS]

00:50:22   people and so I'm on confronted with a [TS]

00:50:25   situation where a young lady will walk [TS]

00:50:27   into the room and I will say to myself [TS]

00:50:29   Eleanor but can this truly be is you [TS]

00:50:36   know I second-guess whether or not [TS]

00:50:38   it's one of the Eleanor's uh sure you're [TS]

00:50:42   reaching that age yeah well and also [TS]

00:50:44   because there are a couple of [TS]

00:50:46   Madeleine's including one Madeline who [TS]

00:50:50   was named for another prominent Madeline [TS]

00:50:53   that's it but he also the other problem [TS]

00:50:56   with being a Madeleine as I have learned [TS]

00:50:58   is this is something that my uh my [TS]

00:51:00   friend Marco Arment what does he call it [TS]

00:51:02   he calls it the snap to grid problem [TS]

00:51:04   where if you have a name that sounds [TS]

00:51:06   like a much better known name or if you [TS]

00:51:09   have a name that sounds like a name [TS]

00:51:11   that's very familiar to someone else [TS]

00:51:12   there's a lot of people who have names [TS]

00:51:14   like me like like I'm always a Marvin or [TS]

00:51:16   am L or something a track Markham I have [TS]

00:51:19   an unusual name Madame not my Madeleine [TS]

00:51:21   for much of her life would get called [TS]

00:51:23   Natalie really yeah because yeah but [TS]

00:51:27   that's the snap to grid problem you [TS]

00:51:29   don't have this because you have you [TS]

00:51:30   have a canonical name I do I think your [TS]

00:51:32   names in the Torah I got the shrimp it [TS]

00:51:35   absolutely is it absolutely is in the [TS]

00:51:37   Torah it goes all the way back my there [TS]

00:51:39   was God and then there was uh there was [TS]

00:51:42   Adam and Eve there was a sooz law [TS]

00:51:43   Methuselah their Shadrach Meshach [TS]

00:51:46   Abednego but John was like right up [TS]

00:51:49   there right after between supremely [TS]

00:51:51   John's back then is probably really [TS]

00:51:53   confusing and they say what is the John [TS]

00:51:55   of which you speak he says John of the [TS]

00:51:57   the guy used to live near the burning [TS]

00:51:59   bush like John be John be the guy with [TS]

00:52:01   the sloop oh good point but I've always [TS]

00:52:05   been building anything he took any ate [TS]

00:52:07   up all of my corn that's right that's [TS]

00:52:09   right know what it means worst trip I've [TS]

00:52:11   ever been on that really didn't you then [TS]

00:52:13   he took any ate up all on my corn yeah [TS]

00:52:16   well what does it mean John when you go [TS]

00:52:18   out on a sloop you get you get issued a [TS]

00:52:20   certain amount of course okay so you got [TS]

00:52:22   a fox yeah Chisholm and this is on me of [TS]

00:52:25   corn and you gotta cross now how do you [TS]

00:52:27   how do you do it it's one of the things [TS]

00:52:28   about being on a sloop and a lot of [TS]

00:52:30   people haven't been on asleep so they [TS]

00:52:31   don't know about the corn yeah get on [TS]

00:52:33   the corn and then you're out for you [TS]

00:52:35   know you're out for a trip which is what [TS]

00:52:37   you describe how you describe going on a [TS]

00:52:39   sloop let's call the trip so so it [TS]

00:52:43   depends you could be you could have one [TS]

00:52:44   trip you can have two trips you could be [TS]

00:52:46   on a three trips yes three trips loop [TS]

00:52:48   okay and the thing is you only get a [TS]

00:52:51   certain amount of corn so if someone [TS]

00:52:52   else eats up all your corn yeah I mean [TS]

00:52:55   well I think everybody gets if you're [TS]

00:52:57   gonna start out it's a sort of like yeah [TS]

00:52:59   when you're learning sailing at em with [TS]

00:53:00   Farragut you know you start out on a [TS]

00:53:02   little puffer you work your way up you [TS]

00:53:03   starting to sleep John a sloop John B is [TS]

00:53:05   your last chance you go from a pupper to [TS]

00:53:07   a sloop John a so the poor cook he [TS]

00:53:10   caught the fits he offended away all my [TS]

00:53:12   grits see that's what I thought any ate [TS]

00:53:15   up all of my corn right well how do you [TS]

00:53:17   make grits your perm unified die totally [TS]

00:53:21   from herself John bina nobody's gonna [TS]

00:53:25   freak nobody's gonna say oh it's sloop [TS]

00:53:27   Bobby B or sloop uh I'm trying to see I [TS]

00:53:31   can't even do a snap to grid on your [TS]

00:53:32   name because it's the canonical name [TS]

00:53:33   well so John B let's say the Sun follow [TS]

00:53:36   me Jonathan John Barleycorn john [TS]

00:53:39   barleycorn musta shitty live or die I [TS]

00:53:41   never remember John John Barleycorn as [TS]

00:53:44   he was born old well is that exactly [TS]

00:53:47   that's a Scott McCoy has a song about [TS]

00:53:50   that alright garlic we must live isn't [TS]

00:53:53   he referencing a song by the fall I [TS]

00:53:55   think oh I I think there's something [TS]

00:53:57   that goes John Barleycorn Maas died I [TS]

00:53:59   think Scott McCoy he takes it he turns [TS]

00:54:01   it he makes it into john barleycorn must [TS]

00:54:03   live yeah John Barleycorn is a way of [TS]

00:54:05   describing a sour babies okay it's a [TS]

00:54:09   kind of cockney rhyming slang it's like [TS]

00:54:10   ooh and you want to see my wife you say [TS]

00:54:12   John Barleycorn yeah that's right John [TS]

00:54:14   Barleycorn here they come they're my [TS]

00:54:16   fiddles and bits ixnay ixnay on the on [TS]

00:54:20   the X talk on the X sock here comes John [TS]

00:54:24   Barleycorn the thing is I feel in my [TS]

00:54:26   life that I'm caught between Eleanor's [TS]

00:54:28   and Madeline's pelipper speckle with the [TS]

00:54:30   whole truck yeah well you know it's [TS]

00:54:33   funny I mistake one for the other in my [TS]

00:54:35   own house which i think is you know [TS]

00:54:36   somewhat normal dropping a lot of metal [TS]

00:54:38   bits these days I got to be honest with [TS]

00:54:39   you Michael Latta mental bits yeah and [TS]

00:54:42   but uh but also frequently I'm trying to [TS]

00:54:47   think which one happens more often is [TS]

00:54:49   people will refer to my daughter as bad [TS]

00:54:52   by my wife's name yeah [TS]

00:54:54   that happens well because yeah right in [TS]

00:54:58   a way Eleanor seems like an older name [TS]

00:55:00   in Madeline but you know here's the [TS]

00:55:02   funny thing now and this is you know [TS]

00:55:03   this is this is the way the stuff goes [TS]

00:55:04   you think you're ahead of the game you [TS]

00:55:06   go and they say oh like show me the [TS]

00:55:08   rankings in the Social Security charts [TS]

00:55:10   and show me like you know right but [TS]

00:55:12   everybody's looking at the same way [TS]

00:55:14   exactly right Oh suddenly everybody's [TS]

00:55:16   name Latricia Shawn Trell you know us or [TS]

00:55:19   our jean-luc morale or any other kind of [TS]

00:55:21   mushroom based name that that's a very [TS]

00:55:23   common thing so I think not now here's [TS]

00:55:26   the funny thing my daughter's class 23 [TS]

00:55:29   kids three different Aiden's well now [TS]

00:55:33   let me ask you this of the 23 kids does [TS]

00:55:35   a single one of them have what we would [TS]

00:55:37   have described in the 70s and 80s as a [TS]

00:55:40   normal name oh good question are there [TS]

00:55:44   any Paul's Peters given our neighborhood [TS]

00:55:47   mm-hmm he said archly there are I would [TS]

00:55:51   say it's more common for a boy to have a [TS]

00:55:54   normal name most of the girls have some [TS]

00:55:56   kind of a wackadoo name yeah I think its [TS]

00:55:59   more common you still you still you [TS]

00:56:01   still get it but like some of them have [TS]

00:56:02   like I don't say to him I she's not talk [TS]

00:56:03   about other people's kids but give us a [TS]

00:56:05   sturdy Irish name for this kid yeah like [TS]

00:56:09   Sheamus you actually she goes to school [TS]

00:56:11   to Sheamus yeah and she has a shame if [TS]

00:56:13   she has a Kian she has just lots of like [TS]

00:56:15   Irish kids with big faces they're the [TS]

00:56:17   best yeah because they're their father [TS]

00:56:19   works at the fire station that's right [TS]

00:56:21   then taking all the factories down the [TS]

00:56:24   graduations hang on the wall that's [TS]

00:56:25   right that's right a bit if it weren't [TS]

00:56:27   for the nibs being so good at building [TS]

00:56:29   ships we'd still have the funny Hedwig [TS]

00:56:32   Xiwen bubbles has a hoppin your horn [TS]

00:56:35   must live yes there are some I mean I [TS]

00:56:42   don't want you know this is an old bit [TS]

00:56:44   of mine and I've got to stop doing it [TS]

00:56:45   because it's like a tattoo like once [TS]

00:56:47   you've named your kid even if it's a [TS]

00:56:49   stupid fucking dumb name like that's the [TS]

00:56:51   kid to kid and that's their name and [TS]

00:56:53   gather broke it you want to make fun of [TS]

00:56:55   the parents for like making a name that [TS]

00:56:57   you have to spell this is my main thing [TS]

00:56:59   and I we were a little bit you know ours [TS]

00:57:02   requires a little bit of spilling if you [TS]

00:57:03   aren't familiar with the name but it's [TS]

00:57:04   not that hard but a name that you like a [TS]

00:57:06   good Jennifer like or something like I [TS]

00:57:08   namely [TS]

00:57:08   like have to spell like robbie rist [TS]

00:57:10   right like I look like a robber tryst [TS]

00:57:13   with 2 w's right right right are my [TS]

00:57:17   daughter's name has a name that has [TS]

00:57:19   three spellings yes and so we've got a [TS]

00:57:23   snap to grid problem because it's very [TS]

00:57:25   close to like for example Dan's [TS]

00:57:27   daughter's real name right dan has [TS]

00:57:30   renamed his daughter after a spider-man [TS]

00:57:32   character but she does have another name [TS]

00:57:34   that's very similar to yours yes and [TS]

00:57:36   also it's very confusing to people who [TS]

00:57:38   are used to gendered names with a with a [TS]

00:57:43   vowel with the evidence and fire yeah [TS]

00:57:44   yeah so so there's sometimes a kind of [TS]

00:57:48   like do you mean blank instead of blank [TS]

00:57:52   and then you have to say like no it's [TS]

00:57:54   sorry it's a different kind of thing [TS]

00:57:56   it's coming from a different zone [TS]

00:57:58   shouldn't into george sand well you know [TS]

00:58:01   I was just sitting here thinking what [TS]

00:58:03   first of all yes it's an awesome name [TS]

00:58:05   for a little girl just neighbor George [TS]

00:58:06   Sand well I could have named her [TS]

00:58:08   mcgeorge which is I think one of the [TS]

00:58:10   great name george bundy mcgeorge right [TS]

00:58:12   George mcgeorge sounds a little bit like [TS]

00:58:14   a little got a little curious george [TS]

00:58:15   vibe to it what about latouche latouche [TS]

00:58:18   that's that's different from Lagrange [TS]

00:58:21   now if you had twins latouche in [TS]

00:58:22   LaGrange would be adorable and now i [TS]

00:58:28   wanna be a mistaken what I am wondering [TS]

00:58:32   is what's the who when was the last time [TS]

00:58:35   you met a Meredith I have I know [TS]

00:58:40   Meredith she works at Genentech she is [TS]

00:58:44   the no x specialist of a guy that you [TS]

00:58:48   know is Genentech a genetics technical [TS]

00:58:52   company bing aha they're big they're big [TS]

00:58:56   thank you can't get one past me [TS]

00:58:58   Genentech Genentech King what if you [TS]

00:59:01   tamed it what if you named a little girl [TS]

00:59:03   Genentech call heavy adorable right [TS]

00:59:05   except spelt at j e a me2 do here's I [TS]

00:59:11   usually ask it so look like immensely [TS]

00:59:14   imagine the names Janine and teach you [TS]

00:59:17   Janine and teach but you're hyphenated [TS]

00:59:19   and [TS]

00:59:20   you do man the people car genentech yeah [TS]

00:59:22   it's pronounced you doing it it's from [TS]

00:59:23   the french haha contact my daughter [TS]

00:59:28   Genentech Genentech yeah but then like [TS]

00:59:32   so you have like Bernstein Bernstein [TS]

00:59:34   yeah sure wells which is the first bear [TS]

00:59:38   the Torah John why is it such a big deal [TS]

00:59:40   to beastie nurse Stein why I honest [TS]

00:59:43   question as they say on twitter honest [TS]

00:59:45   honest question what was it was that a [TS]

00:59:47   big deal I get it I take that I feel [TS]

00:59:50   like that's more than just here's how my [TS]

00:59:52   name is pronounced is there soon like [TS]

00:59:55   peculiarly jewy about making sure it's [TS]

00:59:57   pronounced a certain way like you don't [TS]

00:59:59   want it to sound over [TS]

00:59:59   want it to sound over [TS]

01:00:00   medic or under Semitic well this is a [TS]

01:00:02   very very very good question that has [TS]

01:00:04   never really been posed to me even [TS]

01:00:06   though it is so you've seen it though [TS]

01:00:08   right well it's it's it's absolutely [TS]

01:00:11   like why do they not put a dot on the [TS]

01:00:13   top of USB cables that says this is the [TS]

01:00:16   top sort of like the diaeresis when New [TS]

01:00:18   Yorker says coordinating coordinator [TS]

01:00:21   coordinating cumin it lubed herb I feel [TS]

01:00:26   like that the knowing what I know which [TS]

01:00:28   is not very much I'm gonna say that the [TS]

01:00:30   Steen Stein pronunciation thing is [TS]

01:00:34   either an austro-hungarian versus like [TS]

01:00:38   Prussian thing mon I did not have that [TS]

01:00:42   in my bracket good right or it is a UH [TS]

01:00:46   it is a coming from the east like Russia [TS]

01:00:50   Belarus arrays you ain't Ukraine's I'll [TS]

01:00:55   Ukraine thing right where it comes in [TS]

01:00:58   and then the assimilated germanized Jews [TS]

01:01:02   had a one-way MMA or it may be I don't [TS]

01:01:07   think it's an Ellis Island thing I think [TS]

01:01:10   it I think it's before that but this is [TS]

01:01:12   a great question and I bet you one of [TS]

01:01:14   our listeners is going to say one way or [TS]

01:01:17   the other something definitive well hear [TS]

01:01:19   a voice coming up from the well actually [TS]

01:01:20   yeah someone is gonna something's gonna [TS]

01:01:23   say here's the simple explanation for [TS]

01:01:25   this but I've never heard it explained [TS]

01:01:28   and it always is a question right die [TS]

01:01:31   norstein comes from the German meaning [TS]

01:01:34   stone or rock right get Stein you also [TS]

01:01:37   got what height is head right right like [TS]

01:01:41   einheit that I died right einheit me do [TS]

01:01:44   one head you've got the die toten hosen [TS]

01:01:47   die toten huh so which means the the [TS]

01:01:50   pantyhose of death okay he's a cat but [TS]

01:01:52   yeah kappa right was real you've got [TS]

01:01:55   what are some other ones there some [TS]

01:01:56   other oh you know what you got your wife [TS]

01:01:57   he got vice and got what's the other one [TS]

01:02:00   I was the opposite of Vice you've got uh [TS]

01:02:04   shoot shoes shoes [TS]

01:02:06   shoosh shoes you got should shuts shit [TS]

01:02:12   novotel vices white oh I know this I [TS]

01:02:15   know this oh it's killing me what is [TS]

01:02:17   black in German oh it's a short Schwartz [TS]

01:02:21   Schwartz and Weiss shorts and white [TS]

01:02:23   short shorts and white stick yeah hey [TS]

01:02:26   jay ellis island yeah wold love all [TS]

01:02:30   walls is forest oh really bald um so the [TS]

01:02:36   black forest is the Schwarzwald man [TS]

01:02:39   Germans a crazy language but it is cool [TS]

01:02:41   that you can mostly figure out what it [TS]

01:02:43   means what is ver moch mean I mean I [TS]

01:02:45   know I know what would it represent that [TS]

01:02:47   means that the regular German army as [TS]

01:02:48   they say right yeah was the word mean [TS]

01:02:51   but I'm just looking up I guess yeah I [TS]

01:02:53   guess mocked means uh Michelle Michelle [TS]

01:02:57   ya mean so they make 10 copies make war [TS]

01:03:00   i bet it means make war o ver moch very [TS]

01:03:02   locked i'll bet to make it may make [TS]

01:03:06   their make their mock shall not shall [TS]

01:03:08   make war i like that if there's not a if [TS]

01:03:11   there's not a German word for make war [TS]

01:03:13   i'm going to eat the hat that I'm [TS]

01:03:15   looking at right now this is thats a [TS]

01:03:16   hoot the hat says chick magnet on it I'm [TS]

01:03:19   gonna eat it if there's not a German [TS]

01:03:21   which can make more their mock I'm sure [TS]

01:03:27   you've been hearing about it have you [TS]

01:03:28   had a chance to look at the Luftwaffe [TS]

01:03:31   Luftwaffe air lift his air yeah like a [TS]

01:03:35   like a loof balloon it's the woof gang [TS]

01:03:37   of the air okay waffa waffa means i [TS]

01:03:40   don't well i don't know what waffen [TS]

01:03:42   loose lufthansa is x that means the last [TS]

01:03:45   heist as long as you don't get caught [TS]

01:03:46   mmm oh right Samuel Jackson's want to [TS]

01:03:50   screw that one a black people don't know [TS]

01:03:51   he's the one that screwed that up you [TS]

01:03:52   know it's called a Royale with cheese [TS]

01:03:54   mm-hmm oh yeah right yeah make [TS]

01:03:59   Americanos really didn't move fast he [TS]

01:04:02   didn't have to move faster uh did she [TS]

01:04:04   have you had a chance are you aware of [TS]

01:04:06   the recently released out of translation [TS]

01:04:09   the new book blitzed you certainly have [TS]

01:04:12   heard about this book yes yeah but I'm [TS]

01:04:14   but I'm not aware of the i'm not aware [TS]

01:04:18   the exactly so why don't you [TS]

01:04:20   me the love this it's so it's so [TS]

01:04:22   desperately on the nose for our program [TS]

01:04:24   that we should probably just cut this [TS]

01:04:26   out I would just leave it at this if you [TS]

01:04:28   have the long opportunity you should [TS]

01:04:30   check out a book called blitzed it's [TS]

01:04:32   about the use and abuse systematically [TS]

01:04:34   of drugs in the Third Reich and then [TS]

01:04:37   with special regard to the drugs that [TS]

01:04:38   Hitler specifically got from his crazy [TS]

01:04:40   personal physician oh yeah and in this [TS]

01:04:43   in the short term if you just want a [TS]

01:04:44   shorty i'll send you link to a good [TS]

01:04:46   fresh air interview with the author but [TS]

01:04:48   basically they're giving their giving [TS]

01:04:50   the army uh math twice a day and they [TS]

01:04:55   could they fight for like a week without [TS]

01:04:56   sleeping give your army meth twice day [TS]

01:05:01   this is an adage this is a German adage [TS]

01:05:02   on how to say it in German it's a [TS]

01:05:04   Benjamin Franklin said it here you get [TS]

01:05:05   ready met twice today if you don't know [TS]

01:05:07   what it's for they will bring a present [TS]

01:05:09   pretty small you speaking of which you [TS]

01:05:12   know the French forget you know they [TS]

01:05:13   were issued a wine red wine yeah wine [TS]

01:05:16   and mushrooms and that just goes to show [TS]

01:05:20   that this is a set that guide the beard [TS]

01:05:22   from Miami but you have tired mushrooms [TS]

01:05:27   you're not going to you're not going to [TS]

01:05:29   blitzkrieg on wine and mushrooms of you [TS]

01:05:31   know what I'm saying you're not even you [TS]

01:05:32   you're not even gonna be a little [TS]

01:05:35   defense a wall zut alors no ya know you [TS]

01:05:44   took he took any ate up all my corn the [TS]

01:05:46   thing is the Germans actually have a [TS]

01:05:48   holiday we've talked about before called [TS]

01:05:49   shits infest which is just shooting vest [TS]

01:05:52   it's just respectful where they shoot [TS]

01:05:53   shoot it's a holiday you get it out you [TS]

01:05:57   gettin off school yeah it's a tattoo [TS]

01:05:59   based holiday is there a business is [TS]

01:06:02   there really are a lot of 2 based [TS]

01:06:03   holidays there and a lot of beer ho ho [TS]

01:06:06   well you know you gotta you gotta dance [TS]

01:06:08   with the one that brung you one of the [TS]

01:06:10   interesting things about Germany is of [TS]

01:06:11   course it was the it was the you know [TS]

01:06:14   the cradle of the Reformation and so [TS]

01:06:18   really Merlin there are two germanys [TS]

01:06:20   there's Catholic Germany and there's [TS]

01:06:22   Protestant Germany still and you really [TS]

01:06:25   isn't yeah and as you because of course [TS]

01:06:28   there wasn't to Germany right there [TS]

01:06:31   wasn't really there was a [TS]

01:06:32   twentieth-century thing or late [TS]

01:06:34   19th century thing right now pretty much [TS]

01:06:36   let's call it a 20th century thing [TS]

01:06:37   because there was a pressure right up [TS]

01:06:39   until you know right up until nineteen [TS]

01:06:41   twenty when I was playing diplomacy at [TS]

01:06:42   admiral farragut academy there was all [TS]

01:06:44   broken up into different parts World War [TS]

01:06:46   one yeah sure pressure pressure pressure [TS]

01:06:48   pressure austro-hungary so Germany is [TS]

01:06:52   really a modern conflation but the thing [TS]

01:06:54   is all these little provinces and do [TS]

01:06:56   cheese and Margrave eighths and you know [TS]

01:07:00   like bishoprics they all as the [TS]

01:07:05   Reformation went percolating through the [TS]

01:07:07   German little little pockets and little [TS]

01:07:11   castles basically everywhere there was a [TS]

01:07:13   castle there was somebody up on the top [TS]

01:07:14   of the castle and that person controlled [TS]

01:07:16   a certain amount of land around them and [TS]

01:07:19   some had big land and some had small [TS]

01:07:21   land but here comes the Reformation [TS]

01:07:23   perking through like coffee through [TS]

01:07:25   grounds and this castle guy says I [TS]

01:07:29   believe yes I'm gonna I'm gonna go with [TS]

01:07:33   these 90 plus species and I'm going to [TS]

01:07:37   I'm gonna say like leaving the church [TS]

01:07:39   behind I'm gonna have a direct [TS]

01:07:41   connection with the with my Lord and [TS]

01:07:43   Savior and then the castle next door [TS]

01:07:45   says he'll know we won't go say nine [TS]

01:07:48   yeah they say Nick and they stay with [TS]

01:07:51   the with the ll popo mm-hmm in el Romo [TS]

01:07:56   and for a while there of course in a be [TS]

01:07:58   honest yeah having young back up back up [TS]

01:08:00   Pope yeah all made an saloni danza sur [TS]

01:08:03   sur sur la so loose sand salalah mayor [TS]

01:08:06   right Percy small [TS]

01:08:12   hi okay [TS]