Roderick on the Line

Ep. 254: "One of My Favorite Actresses"

 

  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Marilyn how's it going [TS]

  super good yeah me too [TS]

  oh good yeah pretty good good news you [TS]

  know it's nice to just have a normal day [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeah I slept pretty well [TS]

  Sunday night is usually my best night of [TS]

  sleep yeah I mean when I say I'm doing [TS]

  pretty good it's not today's not a [TS]

  normal day and I just I guess I slept [TS]

  sort of well no no well I mean that's as [TS]

  good as it gets for me these days really [TS]

  yeah but I have to leave after our [TS]

  program to go be on the radio [TS]

  ah the radio did the terrestrial radio [TS]

  not our modern radio oh we should talk [TS]

  more about things that you do you um you [TS]

  uh surprise that's the wrong word I'm [TS]

  frequently surprised I'm buoyed to see [TS]

  that you go in perform places I saw I [TS]

  saw a picture of you with long hair [TS]

  performing you played the Pledger song [TS]

  on the the brothers podcast you're still [TS]

  out there you're still getting stuff [TS]

  done oh you know you got to get stuff [TS]

  done Merlin if you don't get it done and [TS]

  how's it gonna get done it's gonna do [TS]

  this stuff yeah that's right what can I [TS]

  ask what kind of you know is it a KEXP [TS]

  is it a Luke Burbank it's a what kind of [TS]

  situation you got no none of the above [TS]

  is say it's a KUOW which is our local [TS]

  public radio station and they have a [TS]

  they have a culture panel where they get [TS]

  they sit around and discuss cultural [TS]

  moments they say relatively like a [TS]

  temper aeneas or like yeah yeah yeah [TS]

  okay all right yeah I mean it's a it's [TS]

  just filler it's filler which is well a [TS]

  98 percent of all content is oh my [TS]

  goodness really oh I think so about [TS]

  content yeah do you think most content [TS]

  is filler I really do think it's in [TS]

  substantial I think so [TS]

  sure I mean you know like is the Azalea [TS]

  let's say let's just say that for [TS]

  instance why do you want to know [TS]

  anything about is he as they Iggy Iggy [TS]

  Azalea [TS]

  she's so fancy she's fancy but do you do [TS]

  you want to know anything about her I [TS]

  had to learn a little bit about her I [TS]

  don't take you off your topic about her [TS]

  because I'm a fan of Charli XCX who's [TS]

  the lady who sings the good part of that [TS]

  one song oh sure the part where she's [TS]

  not acting like like a black person from [TS]

  New Orleans English which is which is a [TS]

  really good part of that song huh and [TS]

  then then I heard there was some kind of [TS]

  dust up about her bona fides I should [TS]

  add oh you were bad news was yeah with [TS]

  the bad-boy demeanor and yeah [TS]

  tattoos twos Nicki Minaj monster monster [TS]

  everybody knows so the thing is I don't [TS]

  know anything I don't think really I'm [TS]

  really up on the rap these days monster [TS]

  song it's a really good song when I see [TS]

  that hotline bling you got the guy who [TS]

  did the who did the the Marvin Gaye song [TS]

  that was I'm definitely not doing this [TS]

  with you know updates in rap what that [TS]

  comes up on your cultural panel what if [TS]

  you're expected to opine on the rap of [TS]

  the day well this is the danger for me [TS]

  now because since I'm not on Twitter I [TS]

  don't know what the of the day stuff is [TS]

  I didn't of the day thing on the [TS]

  television a couple of days ago what do [TS]

  you think about but it's up but it's all [TS]

  stuff that I wouldn't have encountered [TS]

  it anyway you know they'll hand you a [TS]

  piece of paper here at the King 5 [TS]

  breakfast show and it said there's a [TS]

  there's a hotel for sale outside of Reno [TS]

  that's decorated 100% in clowns and you [TS]

  read the thing and you're like oh and [TS]

  then you get online and or you get on [TS]

  the TV with them and they're like what [TS]

  do you think about that and you know and [TS]

  people that are making pancakes or [TS]

  people that are like getting the kids [TS]

  off to school or whatever it is that [TS]

  people do that watch those shows yeah [TS]

  they're like law or the [TS]

  there's a football player who was jet [TS]

  skiing any and he crashed and he lost a [TS]

  hundred and fifty thousand dollar [TS]

  diamond earring what do we think about [TS]

  that boys got something to say about it [TS]

  John I don't know a lot about producing [TS]

  content but IIIi think those are as you [TS]

  say problematic yeah you don't start out [TS]

  with something that's already funny and [TS]

  then talk about it well the thing is [TS]

  public radio is gonna be a little bit [TS]

  it's you know it's not gonna be so the [TS]

  humor is not gonna be so broad right [TS]

  they're they're actually gonna say [TS]

  here's an interesting thing right let [TS]

  the state legislature of Oklahoma says X [TS]

  and then but you know it's not gonna [TS]

  actually be like it's not gonna be [TS]

  biting nice it's it's cultural gentle [TS]

  its gentle but that's one of the one of [TS]

  the many things I do Merlyn in or in [TS]

  order to get stuff done [TS]

  in order to to make content for people [TS]

  and to ultimately I guess to to be in [TS]

  the mix you gotta stay in the mix you [TS]

  follow the mix it's hard to get back in [TS]

  oh yeah you can't get out you can't get [TS]

  out of the mix and I'm like riding a [TS]

  bike mm-hmm if you cuz then the mix [TS]

  separates right and you can your sauce [TS]

  yeah make your sauce you don't want to [TS]

  break your sauce but this week is gonna [TS]

  be this week's gonna be a hot week for [TS]

  me because because it's a it's Seafarer [TS]

  week here in Seattle OC for a week is [TS]

  that like a Fleet Week type situation [TS]

  that's right oh really [TS]

  and I am be a king of the of the obscene [TS]

  fair because your military service [TS]

  because again they need some content [TS]

  certain number of cubic inches of [TS]

  content right and John can provide that [TS]

  he can come in whereas little doctor [TS]

  doctor whose suit and you come in and [TS]

  you provide some content we get a crown [TS]

  I have a crown this please [TS]

  Cromwell they're on the they're on my [TS]

  Instagram account Oh insta cuts right [TS]

  you're still in the Instagram [TS]

  oh yeah use Instagram crown sword I have [TS]

  a tunic and so what you get in a [TS]

  situation like this is get a lot of [TS]

  events I'm gonna welcome the Blue Angels [TS]

  to town oh my goodness oh my goodness [TS]

  you've got a sash I do this is [TS]

  outstanding I was at a parade I was in a [TS]

  big parade 150,000 people watch the [TS]

  parade tremendous parade it was a big [TS]

  parade and then so this week I go I have [TS]

  dinner on on the flagship the US Navy [TS]

  admiral Pacific Admiral flagship boat I [TS]

  shake Anza and kiss babies with the Blue [TS]

  Angels quite a few times a lot of a lot [TS]

  of events a lot of different category go [TS]

  to the largest Rotary meeting in the [TS]

  northwest which they have every year at [TS]

  this time too [TS]

  you know because the rotor is very [TS]

  involved Wow things some breakfast some [TS]

  dinners and then I watch the and oh and [TS]

  throughout all of this I'm doing [TS]

  ceremonial night ends oh my goodness you [TS]

  you were born for this role John well [TS]

  this is the thing this is the kind of [TS]

  content that that I am that I that I can [TS]

  freely give the City of Seattle because [TS]

  without a king wearing a sash and a [TS]

  sword all you have is a bunch of guys in [TS]

  Navy uniforms milling around and then [TS]

  some Chamber of Commerce types and some [TS]

  rotary types and you know that the usual [TS]

  suspects mm-hmm but then you throw then [TS]

  you can throw a guy in a sash in there [TS]

  and it's anybody's it's a buddy's game [TS]

  at that point well you know if you're [TS]

  gonna have a monarchy you should have a [TS]

  king otherwise she's gonna have a power [TS]

  vacuum well won't be a monarchy well in [TS]

  mmm-hmm the other day I was asked I'm [TS]

  sorry I'm kind of distract I don't look [TS]

  at Instagram but now I'm looking at your [TS]

  Instagram you have all kinds of photos [TS]

  on here you know that's right it's my [TS]

  picture that you [TS]

  the brothers there's you oh look at you [TS]

  look at you and a little little sweet [TS]

  baby brother and look at that yeah oh [TS]

  did you get your fill sandbag buck no [TS]

  okay [TS]

  you all set you a Catwoman a Catwoman [TS]

  and I were looking at some comics I was [TS]

  asking her some questions because she is [TS]

  running the she was running the the [TS]

  booth I was like hey I don't see in here [TS]

  what I'm looking for and she came over [TS]

  someone took a a candid photograph wait [TS]

  you looking for Oklahoma sex cat sex cat [TS]

  yeah yeah I wasn't looking for that but [TS]

  now that you remind me of Oklahoma the [TS]

  sex cat I'm you know I should add it I [TS]

  should add it to my list you should make [TS]

  an apple note oh there's your mom look [TS]

  at your mom oh so that they so like for [TS]

  instance the other day I think that when [TS]

  they asked me to be King Neptune they [TS]

  had in mind that they wanted Seafarer to [TS]

  be a little bit hipper than it's been [TS]

  last year the King Neptune was was a [TS]

  member of the Seattle Seahawks and and [TS]

  he had a fun time with it when he [TS]

  bothered but it was that that was their [TS]

  typical the typical mistake I think that [TS]

  that you make in a situation like this [TS]

  where you're like this is an this is an [TS]

  honorary position and we're gonna give [TS]

  it to an upstanding citizen and then you [TS]

  pick somebody that that is in your own [TS]

  world [TS]

  you're a Chamber of Commerce the kind of [TS]

  organization you pick somebody from that [TS]

  world yeah it's impressive in that world [TS]

  like a Seahawk but that's not very fun [TS]

  you know what I mean like you go to a [TS]

  Rotary meeting with a guy that has been [TS]

  to a lot of rotary meetings it's very [TS]

  it's just like it's very internal and [TS]

  then you realize oh we're producing an [TS]

  event for the whole city but but we're [TS]

  doing the we're making the old mistake [TS]

  of just like it's a circle jerk hit him [TS]

  where they ain't you yes you want power [TS]

  but you obviously you want somebody who [TS]

  you know has respect for the service [TS]

  mm-hmm [TS]

  drawing power somebody who loves the [TS]

  city of Seattle and who isn't just [TS]

  coasting yeah I also think you probably [TS]

  want somebody who's a good sport [TS]

  you gotta be a good sport right but [TS]

  there's the version of being King [TS]

  Neptune good sport where you stand there [TS]

  gamely with your sash and your crown on [TS]

  and they hand you a piece of paper and [TS]

  they say read this and then we're gonna [TS]

  Knight this your fellow citizen and you [TS]

  gamely read it and everyone gamely [TS]

  applauds but then there's then you there [TS]

  the UM another option which is swing for [TS]

  the fences and in this year they said [TS]

  why don't we get why don't we try and [TS]

  make C fare a little bit more fun and [TS]

  they got they asked me to be king them [TS]

  too and it's hard for me to tell I I do [TS]

  know that I'm putting pressure on the [TS]

  organization by being a little too fun I [TS]

  don't know how much sting it's kind of a [TS]

  Footloose type situation where a little [TS]

  bit where they bring you in because they [TS]

  say this guy's a good sport he looks [TS]

  great in an outfit and a crown but now [TS]

  now it's a in the second act things are [TS]

  turning around a little bit and they're [TS]

  going oh it's this guy cuz it's got [TS]

  gonna be a pistol well a little bit of a [TS]

  pistol right so the Seafarer grand [TS]

  marshals of the parade who are it's [TS]

  another honorary position there are a [TS]

  lot of these I think the grand marshals [TS]

  of the parade and a couple of years ago [TS]

  one of the grand marshals was Duff [TS]

  McKagan my my good pal who is also a [TS]

  Seattle light a very vociferous [TS]

  supporter of Seattle [TS]

  that's just what is it it's an honorary [TS]

  thing they hand you a scepter you go I [TS]

  hereby commence the parade and you know [TS]

  it's but it's a fun thing it's a nice [TS]

  honor well this year last year they had [TS]

  Chris Pratt and an actress who everybody [TS]

  talks about very excitedly and who each [TS]

  time her name is mentioned I can't [TS]

  remember which one she is okay but one [TS]

  that everybody was excited to meet last [TS]

  year now I would be very excited to meet [TS]

  Chris Pratt because he's my favorite [TS]

  actress yeah he's a very good actor [TS]

  and I have to say just for what it's [TS]

  worth he's also seems like a good sport [TS]

  for good sport right and so it was very [TS]

  exciting so this year again they tried [TS]

  to maybe maybe they tried to duplicate [TS]

  their success yet last year so he [TS]

  brought along his lady friend and Anna [TS]

  Faris Anna Faris that's right and [TS]

  everybody's very excited about Hannah [TS]

  Ferris mm-hmm [TS]

  this year they got James woke and Billy [TS]

  Burke of the television show zoo Y which [TS]

  is on I don't know what the WB your CBS [TS]

  I don't know oh my goodness [TS]

  zoo better Marshalls so these are these [TS]

  actors and what they are is some actors [TS]

  from a thing that TV show like if it was [TS]

  if we were at comic-con Waterson to you [TS]

  yes oh we're about this I mean who knows [TS]

  ya know if it was nothing I've heard [TS]

  about there's a comic-con and I walked [TS]

  past these guys at a booth I would go [TS]

  sure of course but here they are and [TS]

  they're presented to me as like here are [TS]

  the grand marshals of the parade and you [TS]

  are meant to Knight them and then they [TS]

  commence the parade and it's all this [TS]

  thing this the it's a little bit of it [TS]

  some song and dance is what we're doing [TS]

  we're going slightly absolutely so here [TS]

  they come in the way I met this event [TS]

  and there some there are quite a few [TS]

  Admirals which is very exciting I met [TS]

  the commander of the Coast Guard for the [TS]

  Pacific region I met the the compare the [TS]

  Admiral of the Stennis Strike Force [TS]

  sleeps the aircraft carrier strike force [TS]

  another Admirals I made some I made some [TS]

  business with some animals you know I [TS]

  did a little look some walls with them [TS]

  another talk about game those guys have [TS]

  to be game because they do a lot of this [TS]

  type of thing anyway so up they walk in [TS]

  here comes Billy Burke who's a guy [TS]

  clearly my age but handsome Billy Billy [TS]

  Burke okay Lee Burke he was in the [TS]

  Twilight series Oh anyway he's wearing [TS]

  son I know this guy I thought Billy [TS]

  Burke was the good Queen and Wizard of [TS]

  Oz that's why that's the difference a [TS]

  different Billy Burke okay but he's [TS]

  wearing sunglasses he's got his hair is [TS]

  dirty hair up in a man bun he's wearing [TS]

  a Seahawks t-shirt a dirty unzipped [TS]

  hoodie and some shorts [TS]

  Annie and I'm like seriously that [TS]

  doesn't bring much gravitas visa V [TS]

  marshalling know somebody somebody told [TS]

  you that you were gonna be the grand [TS]

  marshal of a parade and you show up in [TS]

  your pajamas I was offended and so did [TS]

  you try to keep it in no I'm standing in [TS]

  front of this group of local dignitaries [TS]

  and I call him up and as they as they [TS]

  walked out my mom like Billy you didn't [TS]

  have to get dressed up all special for [TS]

  the parade [TS]

  and Billy Burke I don't then he put on a [TS]

  strange smile but I don't think he liked [TS]

  being roasted and then I said a few [TS]

  times as I was knighting him like you [TS]

  know Billy Billy made the special effort [TS]

  to roll out of bed to come be the grand [TS]

  marshal of Seattle's parade and I think [TS]

  we should honor him with this great [TS]

  honor oh my goodness and it's and the [TS]

  thing is I'm not being hostile I'm being [TS]

  funny it's fun Billy Burke [TS]

  fifty-year-olds grand marshal of a [TS]

  parade and he you know he should be able [TS]

  to take a little bit of this because he [TS]

  chose he chose that outfit not you yeah [TS]

  that's right cuz fuck you Billy and [TS]

  thing is James woke a younger man the [TS]

  star of the star of this TV show James [TS]

  work he showed up in a collared shirt [TS]

  with some pants now he didn't tuck his [TS]

  shirt in but he's a young person and he [TS]

  was loving it he was loving that Billy [TS]

  was getting raked over the coals so it [TS]

  was a little bit of a roasty situation [TS]

  is what happened huh now that is not [TS]

  what is I think typical of this event [TS]

  you unintentionally or maybe you made a [TS]

  little edgy I made a little some fun [TS]

  here we're gonna have a little fun and [TS]

  since since I established that tone then [TS]

  I knighted a couple of admirals and I [TS]

  gave them a little bit of the same kind [TS]

  of business like oh here is the Admiral [TS]

  of the Pacific Coast Guard fleet [TS]

  commander and I said is Alaska part of [TS]

  your area and he said no they're a [TS]

  separate group and I said oh so then [TS]

  you you have Montana and Idaho the two [TS]

  great coastal states some boy and he was [TS]

  mad and then I realized oh right the [TS]

  Missouri River the Snake River the [TS]

  Columbia River like the Coast Guard is [TS]

  also in the rivers okay and so then I [TS]

  you know so I corrected myself and I was [TS]

  like oh you also are all the waterways [TS]

  all the great waterways he and I made [TS]

  good friends the Admiral and I but you [TS]

  know a little bit but I think the people [TS]

  at seif they're the ones who have asked [TS]

  me to do this job are now hopping up and [TS]

  down not in anger but in anxiety because [TS]

  what is the king gonna say next kind of [TS]

  thing which is I think the exact kind of [TS]

  fun that they were hoping to have in [TS]

  just slightly smaller measure and so [TS]

  this is the this is the fun for me right [TS]

  this is a ceremonial position I'm not [TS]

  getting paid it's this is all [TS]

  interesting this is a old boy know what [TS]

  about Chris Pratt is he doing it for [TS]

  free everybody does this for free this [TS]

  Chris Pratt brought his family to [TS]

  Seattle and did this job for free yeah I [TS]

  mean you know I'm sure they put him up [TS]

  yeah but uh you should check that out [TS]

  that mmm that sounds a little bit like a [TS]

  jamup to me it's the type of thing that [TS]

  is I think it falls into the the sort of [TS]

  general community service aspect of [TS]

  being famous you get honored with these [TS]

  things and if you say yes there's no you [TS]

  know what does Seafarer gonna give give [TS]

  him five grand I mean that's not that's [TS]

  not something Chris Pratt's gonna put [TS]

  his family and I think me I don't know I [TS]

  don't know how much of this is image [TS]

  management but I've seen tons of [TS]

  delightful pictures of him visiting kids [TS]

  in hospitals and bringing them Lego and [TS]

  doing things in costume and he seems [TS]

  like kind of a Mitch like I don't know [TS]

  if that's aI don't know if that's like a [TS]

  rock the Dwayne Johnson type situation [TS]

  where he's just doing image management [TS]

  who knows but but he seems he seems like [TS]

  he'd be like a pretty cool guy maybe [TS]

  just totally like him on Parks and Rec [TS]

  it's the reason why he's one of my [TS]

  favorite actresses yeah but I think past [TS]

  a certain point right what will what [TS]

  this will be is Chris Pratt probably has [TS]

  a foundation and then this he'll do this [TS]

  in return for the opportunity to put his [TS]

  foundation for kids on the masthead of [TS]

  some other you know what I mean like [TS]

  it's it's a different kind of currencies [TS]

  the wrong word but for lack of a better [TS]

  word it's a different kind of currency [TS]

  it's a kind of social tokens that we [TS]

  pass back and forth we try and do the [TS]

  right thing and these are the this is [TS]

  what the Rotary Club is all about right [TS]

  the Rotary Club sends some students to [TS]

  go bei Japan and Kobe Japan send some [TS]

  students to rotary and one of those [TS]

  students one day goes to college and [TS]

  become a majors in business management [TS]

  and ends up being the deputy director of [TS]

  the port and rotary pins appends a star [TS]

  on him and though her and the star then [TS]

  goes up on a on a piece of wood on the [TS]

  wall of a place and you know it's like [TS]

  there is a there is a world of [TS]

  honorarium a world of and everyone is [TS]

  very proud there's a lot of like pride [TS]

  in the work that they do [TS]

  it feels meaningful it feels like it [TS]

  spreads a fraternity thus the whole [TS]

  sister-city notion of like and now [TS]

  someone who's here from our sister city [TS]

  in Uzbekistan and they brought an [TS]

  entourage and you know and being like [TS]

  being is even tangentially involved in [TS]

  that in this kind of world like I have [TS]

  to I have to also realize they're [TS]

  creating content for their own markets [TS]

  and sure again it's it's a kind of thumb [TS]

  I don't visible but a kind of yes [TS]

  you're saying it's it's it's content and [TS]

  it's it's a kind of reputational Wafi [TS]

  tokens like there's it's interesting [TS]

  you're moving kind of invisible [TS]

  resources around yeah and and I think I [TS]

  think what what the benefit of these [TS]

  things is to the people that that are [TS]

  knee-deep in it is like this is where [TS]

  after you've awarded the the blue ribbon [TS]

  for the state's largest cow or after [TS]

  you've sent 25 kids to college and [TS]

  Antarctica for the semester then as [TS]

  you're standing around at the end of the [TS]

  meeting somebody like my dad says hey [TS]

  Bill I want to meet Tony and Tony goes [TS]

  hey Bill how's it going I'm trying to [TS]

  you know I'm the guy that's trying to [TS]

  get the permits to build the sixty five [TS]

  storey office tower on the land adjacent [TS]

  to where you are trying to also build a [TS]

  tower and you are holding up my permits [TS]

  haha why don't we figure that out and [TS]

  it's like oh you're a Rotarian Wow and [TS]

  like that kind of handshake II thing is [TS]

  what people that aren't in the room and [TS]

  what you know what democratic socialists [TS]

  are what makes them so suspicious and [TS]

  angry because it seems like that's where [TS]

  all chummy yeah that's where all the [TS]

  deals are getting made and that's why [TS]

  those organizations exist now being [TS]

  inside them right I see like oh that's [TS]

  not why they exist but it is a it is an [TS]

  element it is a fringe benefit of it [TS]

  that the people that are invited are the [TS]

  ones that are seen to need to be there [TS]

  and then that's how things get done and [TS]

  it's uh it's not very creative and it's [TS]

  not very it's not it's not fun by any [TS]

  standards that we have like it's not [TS]

  like the things that are supposed to be [TS]

  funny aren't funny the things that are [TS]

  supposed to be neat aren't neat there [TS]

  are a lot of PowerPoint demonstrations [TS]

  where people are showing slideshows of [TS]

  all the kids that they've helped but it [TS]

  really does [TS]

  come from I don't know a place in those [TS]

  people that is altruistic mm-hmm a [TS]

  desire to help and I have no idea how [TS]

  but but I now AM on not on the I'm in [TS]

  the anteroom of these people because I'm [TS]

  because whatever they pick me out as [TS]

  somebody that's game that will come to [TS]

  these things and be a little roasty and [TS]

  be a little bit because the thing is in [TS]

  a group of in a group where the [TS]

  admiral's are standing around right [TS]

  there's a lot of respect for the [TS]

  Admirals and the Admirals are standing [TS]

  around used to being respected it's [TS]

  their number one job description respect [TS]

  these guys right like they're every [TS]

  single room they've ever walked into [TS]

  from the time that they were a [TS]

  lieutenant junior grade some large [TS]

  proportion of the people in that room [TS]

  are respecting them mm-hmm no one ever [TS]

  disrespects them except maybe and part [TS]

  of it is um you learn so early on that [TS]

  you get respect by giving respect [TS]

  there's a tremendous respect as the [TS]

  currency right and so that but the [TS]

  Admirals in this situation are like [TS]

  they'd to go to a lot of rotary meetings [TS]

  they behaved respectfully but you don't [TS]

  get the sense that they you know part of [TS]

  respect sad to say is that you are [TS]

  impressed and maybe a little afraid [TS]

  right I mean certainly the respect [TS]

  they're used to commanding has a healthy [TS]

  element of fear in it because the people [TS]

  that are like yes sir are ones that can [TS]

  be in big trouble [TS]

  if they say yes sir wrong and so the [TS]

  Admirals are in this thing and there are [TS]

  a lot of rote Aryans and and people from [TS]

  the city and the animals aren't really [TS]

  very afraid of them you know they're [TS]

  it's not like somebody from Seattle is [TS]

  going to say we're not giving the Navy [TS]

  permits to park their boats here this [TS]

  year because we're making I mean it's [TS]

  possible if we elected a mayor [TS]

  was a real radical but ultimately the [TS]

  Navy's not worried about Seattle but a [TS]

  situation like that you know my job I as [TS]

  I see it is to because the lot of these [TS]

  animals aren't that much older than me [TS]

  right I know I know 54 and so although [TS]

  I'm iris I respect to the office and I [TS]

  respect the Navy let's say I don't have [TS]

  a lot of social fear because what is it [TS]

  Admiral gonna do to me what is what are [TS]

  these people gonna do to me and so no [TS]

  one ever roasts Admirals particularly [TS]

  not at a thing like this that's so low [TS]

  weight like this is these are low power [TS]

  events for these people the Seafarer [TS]

  parade you know they do they don't come [TS]

  expecting to be ribbed publicly and and [TS]

  I think personally that they love it I [TS]

  think it's fun for them I think that a [TS]

  everybody likes to be roasted a little [TS]

  and it's a like nobody ever [TS]

  nobody ever sidles up to them and says [TS]

  so tell me is that do you don't you get [TS]

  tired of wearing these uniforms that are [TS]

  half polyester I mean couldn't you have [TS]

  a uniform Taylor do you think they like [TS]

  that I think they do because it's a kind [TS]

  of banter that they it's the sort of [TS]

  banter that I would you know that I [TS]

  would lay on you yeah and they and they [TS]

  do have those feelings like so I'm [TS]

  standing next to the King County Sheriff [TS]

  who is a beep he's a big deal here and [TS]

  we're watching the opening remarks and I [TS]

  and there's a young deputy standing next [TS]

  to him who's not his who's it basically [TS]

  looks like his son and is sort of acting [TS]

  like his son and I don't think he's a [TS]

  bodyguard he's just his he's probably [TS]

  his aide-de-camp [TS]

  he says Ballena called Theia is his body [TS]

  manners back now but yeah he says he's [TS]

  the guy that's gonna eat his purse he [TS]

  gets his Leviathan and [TS]

  he needs a magnifying glass he knows [TS]

  where to pull it out right yeah so I'm [TS]

  standing next to the camp eight to camp [TS]

  what a great term aid to camp it's got [TS]

  to be what he is and I look over in the [TS]

  and the King County Sheriff has a side [TS]

  arm and the side arm you know it's [TS]

  unlikely that this sixty year old man is [TS]

  ever gonna draw his sidearm again but [TS]

  it's there because it's part of the [TS]

  uniform uh-huh and I looked down and it [TS]

  has a single piece of scotch tape [TS]

  wrapped around the handle wrapped around [TS]

  the grip and I look at him I kind of [TS]

  think about it for a second and I walk [TS]

  over and I say Sheriff and he looks at [TS]

  me and I'm wearing a crown yeah yes so [TS]

  he's so he's not gonna say hello citizen [TS]

  he's gonna say what the fuck is this now [TS]

  and I said sheriff I can't help but [TS]

  notice that your sidearm is held [TS]

  together with scotch tape can you and he [TS]

  starts to laugh and his aide camp starts [TS]

  to laugh and I said can you give me a [TS]

  some explanation for why the sheriff of [TS]

  King County can't find a screw for his [TS]

  or whatever and he says well you know [TS]

  the the grip is a little bit Wiggly and [TS]

  so I fixed it and you're the first [TS]

  person that's ever said anything about [TS]

  it and now my aide camp is laughing at [TS]

  me so thanks very much for that Wow and [TS]

  I figured either his kid put it on there [TS]

  he kept it on cuz it was sweet Oh cuz [TS]

  you know get a lot of that your kid put [TS]

  stuff on your things I'm sure it was [TS]

  that or there was maybe so he could get [TS]

  his fingerprints off there if you need [TS]

  it to no just a single piece of scotch [TS]

  tape all right and and so I said well [TS]

  you know sheriff that's wonderful [TS]

  because I'm gonna be able now to report [TS]

  to the citizens of King County that you [TS]

  are not wasting precious County [TS]

  resources on doing things like fixing [TS]

  the grip of your gun [TS]

  yeah which you're unlikely to draw and [TS]

  so then he's like oh here's I got a live [TS]

  one here and we sit and chat [TS]

  because in a way that kind of banter [TS]

  establishes establishes that there is a [TS]

  that my lack of fear is a kind of peer [TS]

  I'm establishing a peer relationship [TS]

  right like I am clearly not a peer of [TS]

  the King County Sheriff in any respect [TS]

  right sort of classic sense not in the [TS]

  classic sense but I'm also not [TS]

  intimidated by him and that's unusual [TS]

  for him right I mean the only people [TS]

  that aren't intimidated by the King [TS]

  County Sheriff are his wife and his kids [TS]

  probably because everybody else that he [TS]

  meets in it in the course of this [TS]

  situation is either someone who reports [TS]

  to him or someone who needs him needs [TS]

  his political support mm-hmm I mean [TS]

  that's it's um I don't mean this [TS]

  disparagingly but that's a managerial [TS]

  job big time right I mean I mean you [TS]

  know I wouldn't Domitian I'm sure that [TS]

  he would be happy to jump in and grab a [TS]

  broom if he needed to but like his job [TS]

  is very that's a high level [TS]

  administrative job he manages other [TS]

  managers and he came up through the [TS]

  ranks and you know one of the Dave [TS]

  Reichert who was a former King County [TS]

  Sheriff became a US congressman so it's [TS]

  a political job okay all right and he [TS]

  goes to these events and everything [TS]

  everything that we're looking at at this [TS]

  event is within his jurisdiction he is [TS]

  the sheriff of all of this and so [TS]

  everybody at this thing is like sheriff [TS]

  you know thanks for coming and also we [TS]

  you know we're looking for your help if [TS]

  next year at the whatchamacallit thing [TS]

  and so no one ever comes up and says [TS]

  what's the deal with your broken gun [TS]

  giggling yeah what's up with that and [TS]

  and he likes it right everybody likes [TS]

  that everybody wants somebody to come up [TS]

  and take the steam out of them or at [TS]

  least everybody who's normal like I'm [TS]

  sure there's a king I'm sure there's a [TS]

  sheriff somebody somewhere who's like [TS]

  move along citizen I mean in my [TS]

  estimation that [TS]

  is less bothersome to people who are [TS]

  both powerful and confident right there [TS]

  are there are people in positions of [TS]

  power that are not that confident [TS]

  nominee any names here and then there [TS]

  are other people who are very confident [TS]

  but don't have power and that kind of [TS]

  thing if you haven't gotten through the [TS]

  ranks and moved up feels like a slight [TS]

  that must be addressed in the moment it [TS]

  much like you went on like a playground [TS]

  right power you can you can laugh it off [TS]

  because you know let's just not gonna [TS]

  bother you well and he is a he's a he's [TS]

  a politician ultimately and so he's not [TS]

  gonna get to that job and be good at it [TS]

  if he doesn't have a sense of humor [TS]

  because it's you've got to you've got to [TS]

  be fielding a lot of crazy shit all day [TS]

  and a few minutes later I'm standing [TS]

  with the King County Executive who is [TS]

  the sheriff's boss nominally who's a [TS]

  young guy and actually a friend of mine [TS]

  like somebody that I know socially and [TS]

  he's the I think the greatest politician [TS]

  in the state by a large margin and [TS]

  everybody thinks so his name is Dow [TS]

  Constantine and he is a he's just a [TS]

  great politician and he's a he's a [TS]

  liberal he gets things done and he's [TS]

  also a cool guy right he's at this event [TS]

  he's dressed appropriately except he's [TS]

  wearing converse because he's a because [TS]

  he's a Justin Trudeau he's having a [TS]

  little fun he's having a little fun [TS]

  because it's a fun time but he's also [TS]

  got a blazer on and he's he he found in [TS]

  his collection of accoutrements all his [TS]

  little Seafarer pins and buttons that [TS]

  he's received over the years as various [TS]

  like every one of these little things [TS]

  that some King Neptune has given him [TS]

  like I hereby proclaim that you are the [TS]

  king of the day and they hand you a [TS]

  little pin Dow has them arranged [TS]

  somewhere so that when he's coming to [TS]

  this some assistant says and here are [TS]

  your Seafarer pins and he puts them on [TS]

  his blazer so that it's just like and [TS]

  that's how you're a good politician you [TS]

  know you show up at this and you're [TS]

  wearing the right pins [TS]

  and so you know that's let me pause you [TS]

  for a second because I like that phrase [TS]

  what was the phrase knowing the right [TS]

  pins that's really that's kind of a [TS]

  really good way to put it because it [TS]

  also encompasses a lot of the different [TS]

  kinds of things we're talking about [TS]

  whether that's Rotary Club or your [TS]

  father you know uh councilor you know [TS]

  like knowing all of the ways to like [TS]

  wear the right pin becomes very [TS]

  important in these situations right [TS]

  remember remember how politicians were [TS]

  being bullied into wearing American flag [TS]

  pins during the Bush administration oh [TS]

  it was it was this I remember after I [TS]

  want to say after 9/11 there was this or [TS]

  things like which late-night talk-show [TS]

  host will be the first to stop wearing [TS]

  up a flag pin yeah and if you if you [TS]

  appear there was a while there where if [TS]

  you appeared as a public figure without [TS]

  a flag pin on it was cause for censure [TS]

  especially if you were a Steph you were [TS]

  a a public servant and I think I think [TS]

  you will still see an awful lot of flag [TS]

  pins on the lapels of I mean I don't [TS]

  think there's a single Republican [TS]

  Congress person that doesn't have a [TS]

  flight well a lot of them wear that that [TS]

  goofy slightly oversized badge that [TS]

  Congress person's get that looks a [TS]

  little silly because when I see them [TS]

  talking on the MSNBC it looks a little [TS]

  bit like like a POG maybe or something [TS]

  you know it's a big pin trading culture [TS]

  at theme parks sure I think this is how [TS]

  that the sheriff with the cowboy hat got [TS]

  a lot of his Mad Max when Morton Joe [TS]

  pins is just trading with other cowboy [TS]

  sheriffs yeah this whole penetrating [TS]

  culture and I think that's part of what [TS]

  you're describing here knowing the right [TS]

  pin but but also it encompasses the [TS]

  things like the things that I look at [TS]

  and see as magical like the ability to [TS]

  remember people's names yeah what they [TS]

  do what they used to do who they know [TS]

  who their family is and to do that [TS]

  without going back like I are you you [TS]

  know that's I I just look at that and I [TS]

  just said look at something like that [TS]

  sheriff I just go man that guy's got it [TS]

  wired right well and you think about you [TS]

  think about Dow how many different [TS]

  events he goes to where they hand him a [TS]

  pin and he goes home and somehow puts [TS]

  that pin into a system [TS]

  where he says the next time I go to the [TS]

  to the King County reservoir maintenance [TS]

  directors Jamboree I'm gonna be able to [TS]

  put this pin on my lapel and and when I [TS]

  arrive and they see it they are going to [TS]

  be chuffed right there's no look that [TS]

  you can tell I'm excited and this is my [TS]

  fifth one of these look at my lapel I'm [TS]

  wearing I'm wearing my flight of pins [TS]

  it's it's phenomenal you know that [TS]

  ability and that and the knowledge that [TS]

  that is the thing you need to need that [TS]

  you need to do but so I'm standing there [TS]

  in down an hour just talking about our [TS]

  families and we're talking about our [TS]

  lives and a guy walks up and he's one of [TS]

  the people I've I have honored that day [TS]

  who's a who runs an organization that [TS]

  supports the Navy and he says you know [TS]

  hey sorry to interrupt I just wanted to [TS]

  say hi just wanted to say thank you [TS]

  Dowell remembers his name Dom knows who [TS]

  he is and he says just wanted to make [TS]

  sure you got my email inviting you to [TS]

  the event that we're doing and it's a [TS]

  little bit of a you know I know I know I [TS]

  know that message I've gotten a message [TS]

  and and this is a protocol breach [TS]

  because we're at a thing dows wearing is [TS]

  his fun shoes but you can tell that this [TS]

  man is very earnest about his work and [TS]

  as part of that earnestness he does not [TS]

  recognize social [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  whatever the way the wiggle room is [TS]

  between this is an event where you say [TS]

  something like that this is not slightly [TS]

  cringy breach of protocol a little bit [TS]

  but Dow is very very graceful sure and [TS]

  Dow says you know I don't have any staff [TS]

  members with me right now and so and [TS]

  then he makes this self-effacement joke [TS]

  so he then he says and you know honestly [TS]

  like I just go where they tell me so I [TS]

  don't know I don't you know it's his [TS]

  kind of way of saying I don't answer my [TS]

  own email when it is things like this [TS]

  but when I get back to the office I'll [TS]

  ask them to make sure that I am you know [TS]

  right D write it down [TS]

  nope he just remembers just remembers [TS]

  and and the guy kind of presses his [TS]

  attack a little bit well we'd like you [TS]

  to be at the event and you know it's [TS]

  very important because we're doing it [TS]

  for the Navy and we in the you know we [TS]

  and support our troops and Dow says you [TS]

  know as soon as I get back a minute I'm [TS]

  going to talk to my staff about it and [TS]

  just sort of gracefully does his thing [TS]

  but that is what is happening at these [TS]

  things whether it is overt like that or [TS]

  whether a person walks up and says hey [TS]

  great to see you Dow and Dow knows that [TS]

  this person wants them at their at his [TS]

  event and he's able to send a coded [TS]

  message to them like hey great well I'll [TS]

  see you the LC in a week it's in a [TS]

  situation like that it's a little bit [TS]

  the phrase comes to mind is holding [TS]

  court where if you actually think about [TS]

  a regent sitting in some kind of a room [TS]

  where people come in and come in you [TS]

  know talk to them about things in that [TS]

  kind of situation dow is his name [TS]

  sheriff down no the sheriff is not down [TS]

  who's down Dow is the executive what am [TS]

  i sorry Dow is the executive is the [TS]

  nominal boss well he's that person if [TS]

  that person that person has the [TS]

  opportunity to say at that point to this [TS]

  person oh by the way I got your note I [TS]

  haven't had a chance to respond to it [TS]

  but I feel pretty sure we can get that [TS]

  on the schedule yeah how's the [TS]

  opportunity where he could say that but [TS]

  if he didn't say that you asking them [TS]

  about it you're basically doing that [TS]

  thing where you say did you get my email [TS]

  about about your email okay don't do [TS]

  that don't people especially in social [TS]

  situations it's it's such a it's such a [TS]

  PR bad PR person thing to do that whole [TS]

  like well if I do it in public and I'm [TS]

  smiling like you have to be nice to me [TS]

  yeah well and it's how I it's how a PR [TS]

  person justifies their their bowl of [TS]

  cereal right because they get to that's [TS]

  my job yeah that's their job and they're [TS]

  trying to get those Glengarry leads all [TS]

  the time but but an event like this [TS]

  every single person in there is holding [TS]

  court simultaneously there are no people [TS]

  in there that are not either with I mean [TS]

  everybody had stars on there [TS]

  and the sheriff has four stars on his [TS]

  collars but he are on his collar but he [TS]

  he reports to Dowe who is wearing [TS]

  converse but functions yeah yeah but [TS]

  Dalles got stars on his collar too and [TS]

  everybody knows it it's just down Stars [TS]

  our Seafarer pins cuz he knows how to do [TS]

  that the only people in there that [TS]

  aren't that don't have stars on their [TS]

  collars are Billy Burke and James woke [TS]

  who are there because they're rich [TS]

  Hollywood hansoms and then me [TS]

  yeah and I'm wearing a fucking crown [TS]

  yeah that speaks for itself [TS]

  it really does right a crown like you [TS]

  because the crown says suggests I am [TS]

  ceremonially the boss of everyone here [TS]

  obviously we all know that that is not [TS]

  true well I think the purpose is for the [TS]

  purposes of this event if that has been [TS]

  conferred on you I think people should [TS]

  be deferential to you and they are and [TS]

  that is part of the fun every one of [TS]

  these Admirals said do I bow mm-hm and [TS]

  each time I say yes and and bend the [TS]

  knee as they do the fucking two of these [TS]

  Admirals got down on their knees right [TS]

  that's a good sport [TS]

  it's a fucking good sport because [TS]

  they're politicians - mm-hmm you don't [TS]

  get to be a three-star general or [TS]

  Admiral without being pulled it's a [TS]

  little bit of what one might call social [TS]

  power exchange you have you're having [TS]

  fun with it [TS]

  fucking-a mm-hmm and Mike and what I the [TS]

  only thing I lack is a clown nose [TS]

  because that's that's what the crown is [TS]

  right come on and I went to great [TS]

  lengths because because you have a lot [TS]

  of dignity I would not call that a clown [TS]

  nose you're a very you have a you have a [TS]

  an excess of dignity thank you I grew my [TS]

  beard a little bit long so that I look [TS]

  like hanging up to it a little bit more [TS]

  mm-hmm but but I feel like the the job [TS]

  description that the Seafarer people had [TS]

  in mind [TS]

  was [TS]

  business-casual plus a sash and a crap [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  that's what they expect okay and I have [TS]

  spent the last month putting together a [TS]

  pretty good replica of of like tsar [TS]

  nicholas ii tunic from just before the [TS]

  world war i have all the elements i have [TS]

  the you know i have the the star of [TS]

  Constantine and I have the the [TS]

  additional gold braid and the gigantic [TS]

  epaulets and the you've done some [TS]

  readings on your work here the sword [TS]

  belt and I mean if you take a picture of [TS]

  me and my tunic and you put it up next [TS]

  to Tsar Nicholas he's got a lot more [TS]

  bling [TS]

  and each one of the nice things about [TS]

  being a Tsar is that you can have [TS]

  knee-high patent leather boots made for [TS]

  yourself which would be set that I'm [TS]

  like I'm frankly teetering on making me [TS]

  - I just thought telling but so sweet in [TS]

  a tunic befitting a star and that is not [TS]

  what Seafarer expected they're not [TS]

  displeased [TS]

  it certainly is inhabiting the role what [TS]

  they expected was you come in looking [TS]

  like a golf dad basically they want to [TS]

  golf dad with a sash lalala and and [TS]

  that's but they got they got a little [TS]

  more than they bargained for they wanted [TS]

  to reach a younger demo and they brought [TS]

  in a new king with some of some fresh [TS]

  energy and he he brought a whole outfit [TS]

  yeah right and it's a you know like the [TS]

  outfit oh so fun to wear it's so fun to [TS]

  march around in this outfit with its you [TS]

  know the epaulets really the epaulets [TS]

  really communicate not only that you [TS]

  have broad shoulders but that those [TS]

  broad shoulders are covered with [TS]

  cthulhu's of gold which is you know like [TS]

  the fucking Admirals [TS]

  who are marching around this thing have [TS]

  giant gold epaulettes [TS]

  it's just that style has changed and the [TS]

  epaulets now are flat and have a lot of [TS]

  stars on them but they're still freaking [TS]

  gold epaulettes and my epaulets are just [TS]

  what they would have worn a hundred [TS]

  years ago a little bit more at Gilbert [TS]

  and Sullivan yeah I mean there's a you [TS]

  know I don't want to look like [TS]

  Nutcracker why'd you put that image in [TS]

  my head that's funny like the Nutcracker [TS]

  with some homemade makeup I am [TS]

  essentially I am essentially there is [TS]

  the Nutcracker the you know the the game [TS]

  I mean initially I what I wanted was to [TS]

  come dressed as Master and Commander and [TS]

  it was very difficult to put that outfit [TS]

  together so that it looked good with a [TS]

  crown and the problem of the problem of [TS]

  the crown is that it it's very important [TS]

  to see fair because that's what they [TS]

  made they made a crown and they thought [TS]

  they were having fun with that and that [TS]

  that's an example of like we are fun and [TS]

  we're having fun with but with this and [TS]

  we made a crown and a sash for our King [TS]

  and it's an easy thing to put on [TS]

  somebody who's wearing business casual [TS]

  and make it make the event fun it's like [TS]

  instant King just add crown right you [TS]

  can walk in and you're wearing a suit [TS]

  from Men's Wearhouse and they put the [TS]

  sash on you you put a crown on and then [TS]

  unite somebody everybody has a good [TS]

  laugh yeah but Seafarer when i was a kid [TS]

  was one of these regional festivals that [TS]

  used to happen in every in every town [TS]

  every small town every to local every [TS]

  town that wasn't because they're the [TS]

  country didn't have a unified culture [TS]

  Seafarer was an event that where seattle [TS]

  went off went bananas like king neptune [TS]

  had an entourage of 20 people oh my [TS]

  goodness they were all wearing giant [TS]

  hats with feathers in them everyone was [TS]

  drunk it was there were parties people [TS]

  would really get into the spirit oh my [TS]

  god I mean my mom talks about it she's [TS]

  she's like [TS]

  Seafarer was the event of the season [TS]

  there were multiple parades there was a [TS]

  giant parade to kick it off then there [TS]

  was a giant parade in the middle and [TS]

  then there was a giant parade at the end [TS]

  that's kind of event my late father [TS]

  would call it grab-ass [TS]

  it was a huge grab-ass and everyone came [TS]

  from miles around [TS]

  the mayor and that you know and the end [TS]

  Neptune was a was a big deal right [TS]

  during that time during the Seafarer [TS]

  month King Neptune never bought a drink [TS]

  in any bar in the city there are Seafair [TS]

  pirates and sea fair clowns and they [TS]

  would they would come into bars and [TS]

  restaurants and just start singing their [TS]

  body songs and they would take you know [TS]

  food off of people's plates and [TS]

  everybody had a grand old wry bald time [TS]

  and I'm sure at that during that era [TS]

  right there was also a lot of [TS]

  impropriety that wouldn't fly these days [TS]

  oh I would feel fairly certain about [TS]

  that and so that you know that is kind [TS]

  of taken out of it right as time goes on [TS]

  the mayor does not get publicly drunk [TS]

  during sea fair but watching them in old [TS]

  black-and-white photos like watching the [TS]

  town just go nuts and when I got when I [TS]

  was appointed King Neptune my brother [TS]

  Bart sent me a text and he said dad [TS]

  would be so proud oh that's nice [TS]

  dad loved sea fair and this is a you [TS]

  know this is an example of the kind of [TS]

  honorary position in the City of Seattle [TS]

  that my dad thrived on and no member of [TS]

  my family even in all of their many [TS]

  splendors no one ever was King Neptune [TS]

  before my dad and my my uncle al and my [TS]

  uncle Junius and george alfred caldwell [TS]

  rodchester before him none of them ever [TS]

  were afforded or recorded this honor [TS]

  so I don't want to show up in business [TS]

  casual and have a crown I wanted to come [TS]

  dressed as Russell Crowe and Master and [TS]

  Commander hmm but it but you can't take [TS]

  that big Napoleon hat off and put a [TS]

  crown on you just look dumb but you can [TS]

  come as Tsar Nicholas or King George the [TS]

  fifth or a little bit less Kaiser [TS]

  Wilhelm but you can you can come as [TS]

  those guys and it and it it looks it [TS]

  looks the part right because they were [TS]

  obviously like commanders of their [TS]

  navies to you you knew that Tsar [TS]

  Nicholas George the fifth and Kaiser [TS]

  Wilhelm were all first cousins right in [TS]

  thinking about what you were saying I [TS]

  was in my head something was swinging [TS]

  around about Germans there seemed [TS]

  something isn't there a lot of dramatic [TS]

  things running through a lot of [TS]

  different countries like a lot of the [TS]

  royal family has roots in Germany well [TS]

  they're all they're all related right [TS]

  the British royal family is a German [TS]

  house I seem to remember in that in the [TS]

  crown I remember that being kind of kind [TS]

  of a big deal like one of the one of her [TS]

  relatives still mostly spoke German and [TS]

  stuff like that well sure and the thing [TS]

  is the leaders of those three nations at [TS]

  that time 1914 the King of England the [TS]

  George is George v Elizabeth's father [TS]

  grandfather okay right I think [TS]

  yeah all right well they were all so all [TS]

  three of those yes either you're right [TS]

  I'm sorry yeah I think you're right the [TS]

  Kaiser of Prussia the the Czar of Russia [TS]

  and the King of England were all first [TS]

  cousins and they were all grandsons of [TS]

  Queen Victoria Wow [TS]

  and while Queen Victoria was alive they [TS]

  were all like oh and they and they look [TS]

  almost exactly alike like George the [TS]

  fifth and Tsar Nicholas look like twins [TS]

  you see them next to each other twins [TS]

  twins twins and no nobody in the family [TS]

  liked Kaiser Wilhelm he was the cousin [TS]

  that nobody liked how come he was a jerk [TS]

  okay he was like I think that he had [TS]

  when he was being born did there was a [TS]

  complication and one and you know it was [TS]

  it was all olden times so they weren't [TS]

  able to solve complications in being [TS]

  born did like on the spot and one of the [TS]

  results was that the Kaiser was had a [TS]

  deformed arm that it was like Gary [TS]

  Berghof right he he had one hand that he [TS]

  didn't like to show Erbs palsy Gary [TS]

  burghoff had an arm situation Gary [TS]

  burghoff if you I mean in in the ten [TS]

  years that we all watched mash every day [TS]

  we never ever noticed that Gary burghoff [TS]

  has one hand that is I think much [TS]

  smaller than the other I had no oh my [TS]

  god there it is I had no idea and he [TS]

  Gary [TS]

  Birkhoff who is by all accounts a [TS]

  reprehend reprehensible person oh no I'm [TS]

  so sorry you hear that is also a great [TS]

  drummer [TS]

  thank you so much he's a phenomenal [TS]

  drummer but everybody I don't so you [TS]

  weren't around maybe you were your [TS]

  attention was elsewhere you were [TS]

  probably watching Apple announcement [TS]

  events yeah developer conferences but [TS]

  at some point in the early-mid Twitter [TS]

  period [TS]

  Gary Birkhoff appeared on Twitter and he [TS]

  was one of those people that went from [TS]

  having 50 followers to 15,000 followers [TS]

  in two days because he was on Twitter [TS]

  just taking a dump on Alan Alda every [TS]

  day I see and was just he was going he [TS]

  was doing a James Woods he was just [TS]

  going crazy and it was oh I know oh no [TS]

  this is not good it sounds like oh I had [TS]

  some drinks it was the type of thing [TS]

  where Andy Richter was right in there [TS]

  you know like everybody was enjoying [TS]

  gary burghoff [TS]

  imploding online I love a Charlie Sheen [TS]

  I most of all right but but it caused me [TS]

  then to read some oral histories of mash [TS]

  and my favorite quote was somebody I [TS]

  don't know who said Gary Birkhoff was by [TS]

  far the best actor on mash he was doing [TS]

  a genius performance because he was [TS]

  creating a character that was beloved by [TS]

  everyone in the country when he himself [TS]

  was like the most awful man alive and [TS]

  was going up to Charles Nelson Reilly [TS]

  Herve Villechaize no one is spared no [TS]

  you see what's really on Olsen Reilly [TS]

  that's no good well it's like Gary also [TS]

  is is not a not a tall man and yeah [TS]

  thought he was lumped in there but so I [TS]

  think the Kaiser because of his because [TS]

  of his damaged arm had a chip on his [TS]

  shoulder and the Czar and the King [TS]

  looked so much alike and were very [TS]

  chummy like they vacationed together [TS]

  there was a lot of slap and tickle [TS]

  happening and the Kaiser felt left out [TS]

  but they all stayed very they all stayed [TS]

  very you know like pally [TS]

  because all three of them loved Queen [TS]

  Victoria their grandmother and there are [TS]

  all these pictures of them kind of like [TS]

  curled up at her feet while she pets [TS]

  their hair [TS]

  and when she died almost immediately the [TS]

  cousins were like they all squared off [TS]

  and of course they started a world war [TS]

  not that long after mm-hmm [TS]

  where and so the Kaiser and the king and [TS]

  the Czar are fuckin first cousins and [TS]

  they are they're like fighting this [TS]

  enormous conflict where millions died [TS]

  over some stupid shit and halfway [TS]

  through the war the Tsar is deposed by [TS]

  revolution and then at the end of the [TS]

  war the Kaiser loses his crown and there [TS]

  is no there is no monarch of Germany [TS]

  anymore it becomes a whatever funk [TS]

  semi-functional republic and the king of [TS]

  england is the last man standing so I [TS]

  guess really I'm really I'm dressing [TS]

  like King George the fifth I don't want [TS]

  to end up like the Tsar it's gonna be a [TS]

  busy week [TS]

  I have like six events a day oh my [TS]

  goodness that's too many events at six [TS]

  events a day Merlin and Wednesday is [TS]

  supposed to be a hundred and three [TS]

  degrees in Seattle that's a hot day to [TS]

  be the king well I'll see I don't want [TS]

  to wear my tunic on that day I'm gonna [TS]

  that's the day that I'm going business [TS]

  casual mm-hmm I'm going I'm going cruise [TS]

  ship casual on Wednesday this is another [TS]

  nice thing though is that you are I mean [TS]

  obviously you've put a lot of your own [TS]

  special preparation into this particular [TS]

  costume but like you've got a lot of [TS]

  stuff just sitting around that would be [TS]

  appropriate for almost any event like [TS]

  you're you seem like you're pretty good [TS]

  to go yeah as long as no one I I think [TS]

  that I have put myself now finally in a [TS]

  place that I've been that I've been [TS]

  shooting for my whole life which is a [TS]

  place with particularly in in wardrobe [TS]

  terms where whatever the invitation says [TS]

  is the Wardrobe [TS]

  I know that not only can I can I meet [TS]

  their expectations but that I will be [TS]

  able to show up in my own version of a [TS]

  thing like if it sells if it says [TS]

  cocktail formal or it says semi-formal [TS]

  or if it says I mean no one ever doesn't [TS]

  event that says that that says formal [TS]

  and means actual formal like the the [TS]

  nicest event in the country you can show [TS]

  up to an a rented tuxedo anymore but you [TS]

  might say black tie or white tie right I [TS]

  I do not think that you will ever see a [TS]

  thing invite where you are invited white [TS]

  tie I mean unless it's a Royal Wedding [TS]

  which no one's no one listening to this [TS]

  podcast is likely to get invited to [TS]

  least of all me yeah although you never [TS]

  know you never know [TS]

  I mean maybe Boris Johnson is listening [TS]

  to this but other times the dress code [TS]

  they give is a combination of two things [TS]

  on the one hand it's like hey you don't [TS]

  want to look like a ding-a-ling so make [TS]

  sure you dress at least up to this bar [TS]

  but it's also a kind of like a [TS]

  consolation of saying don't worry like [TS]

  you don't have to wear a necktie to this [TS]

  right I think you're trying to give you [TS]

  something to say like to provide comfort [TS]

  ultimately to say like if you're in the [TS]

  range of this [TS]

  range of this [TS]

  kind of garb you'll be fine right and [TS]

  that is antithetical to the idea of [TS]

  having a dress code right I mean that's [TS]

  a that is a modern that's a modern [TS]

  problem to say like here's the dress [TS]

  code don't feel bad [TS]

  you get to where you have to wear it up [TS]

  to this point but don't worry you can it [TS]

  you won't be uncomfortable poor person [TS]

  yeah and after an hour you can take your [TS]

  shoes off [TS]

  yeah and in the past right a dress code [TS]

  was almost almost explicitly like you [TS]

  are going to be incredibly uncomfortable [TS]

  this is not negotiable here is what the [TS]

  expectation is and you will come correct [TS]

  and that's gone from the world unless [TS]

  you're invited to something hosted at [TS]

  the White House or something right like [TS]

  like you go you go to a wedding where [TS]

  the where the people are putting on the [TS]

  wedding and they want everybody to be [TS]

  like really really formal and you see a [TS]

  bunch of guys in blue suits yeah I mean [TS]

  if it doesn't if the if the title of the [TS]

  event you know you look out for words [TS]

  like gala gala is a good indication you [TS]

  should up your game a little bit right [TS]

  but for a lot of people in the world [TS]

  that is a blue suit that's as high as [TS]

  they go blue suit with with the tie the [TS]

  ceiling I've been go any higher than [TS]

  that or a rented tux a mule an [TS]

  ill-fitting rented tux [TS]

  yeah so but but in most cases like [TS]

  formal I think formal involves like [TS]

  actual formal at night is white tie [TS]

  white waistcoat like when was last time [TS]

  you saw that that wasn't at it wasn't a [TS]

  member of a wedding party well and you [TS]

  have to be careful that you don't get in [TS]

  too jokey frat brother Brothers style [TS]

  formality right black black tie is after [TS]

  six is that right [TS]

  well white tie is like the super formal [TS]

  one right right time in olden times [TS]

  white tie was for dinner and black tie [TS]

  was like what you wore [TS]

  like then I mean a morning coat well [TS]

  this is when you white ties when you [TS]

  wear like a Jiminy Cricket outfit yeah [TS]

  at dinner every night I mean this is [TS]

  like this is like old Oh like 1910 and [TS]

  in England but you didn't show up with a [TS]

  Black Tie tuxedo at night at a gala for [TS]

  sure but now you do now that's the [TS]

  that's the peak and there are all kinds [TS]

  of rules right you don't wear a white [TS]

  dinner jacket unless you're in the [TS]

  tropics but people love the look of [TS]

  white dinner jackets and so now you see [TS]

  white dinner jackets above the tropics [TS]

  and also you don't wear a white dinner [TS]

  jacket in the winter hmm but people do [TS]

  now because there's a costume for speed [TS]

  since most people are having fun with it [TS]

  right they don't under they don't know [TS]

  what the they don't know that it [TS]

  actually signifies a Kemp some kind of [TS]

  like archaic social order but so if I'm [TS]

  invited to anything up to white tie [TS]

  which I cannot accomplish like Paul if [TS]

  Tompkins can accomplish white tie and [TS]

  wears it sometimes min wears it always [TS]

  as a costume so he wears it [TS]

  inappropriately in that it's too formal [TS]

  for some events he goes to but that's [TS]

  his bit he's like a he's like a friendly [TS]

  children's television host yeah that is [TS]

  that's his bit huh but almost anything [TS]

  else that you would invite me to I can [TS]

  come not only appropriately but also in [TS]

  my own vernacular right in my own [TS]

  vernacular precisely so you know I can [TS]

  come to a black-tie event in 1959 or in [TS]

  1977 or then also the one that is just [TS]

  the appropriate one [TS]

  can I just I read you the description of [TS]

  white tie from the internet science site [TS]

  here according to the British etiquette [TS]

  guide Debrett's of which I do not own a [TS]

  copy the central opponents are [TS]

  components of full evening dress from [TS]

  men are a white Marcella shirt which is [TS]

  a kind of like a weave of shirt Marcella [TS]

  shirt with the detachable wing collar [TS]

  and single cuffs fastened with studs and [TS]

  cufflinks the eponymous white Marcella [TS]

  bowtie is worn around the collar while [TS]

  marcella waistcoat is worn over the [TS]

  shirt over this is worn a black single [TS]

  breasted bar Athiya that's like a very [TS]

  gameofthrones name Bharathi awal or [TS]

  ultrafine herringbone tail coat with [TS]

  silk peak lapels were not done the [TS]

  trousers have double braiding down the [TS]

  outside of both legs while the correct [TS]

  shoes are patent leather or highly [TS]

  polished black dress shoes although a [TS]

  white scarf remains popular in winter [TS]

  the traditional white gloves top hats [TS]

  canes and cloaks are now rare it's the [TS]

  end of the menses yes and so you lose [TS]

  the Canes you lose the Canes and cloak [TS]

  because in cloaks nak seem to like Tori [TS]

  and that's two costumes you look a [TS]

  little bit like you know the monopoly [TS]

  man it was like them enough women but [TS]

  single cuffs not French cuffs like there [TS]

  are a lot of mistakes that we make in [TS]

  thinking that the thing that is more [TS]

  ornate is also the most fancy like [TS]

  you'll see a lot of people a lot of men [TS]

  wear their wingtips to put wingtips with [TS]

  the tux because the wingtips have more [TS]

  fancy on them they are more bling they [TS]

  got more bling but in fact when you get [TS]

  up to this level the fanciest is the [TS]

  plainest so you're not meant to wear [TS]

  wingtips with a with a tuck so you want [TS]

  your plainest black shoes and it should [TS]

  be no except first right yeah that's [TS]

  right [TS]

  and and not French cups but single cuffs [TS]

  and so forth and so on and all this [TS]

  stuff is like that all signals whether [TS]

  or not you know and that's a huge part [TS]

  of what dress codes and what dress even [TS]

  is it signals whether or not you know [TS]

  what things are and now of course we [TS]

  think oh those things are unimportant or [TS]

  those that are worse those things are [TS]

  enforcing a social hierarchy that we [TS]

  abhor but those things are also part of [TS]

  our and this is the word that you know [TS]

  this is the bell ringing word right it's [TS]

  part of our patrimony pound sign not all [TS]

  tuxedos right pound signs you know wears [TS]

  why is it patrimony mm-hmm that's I am [TS]

  but but it's that stuff interests me not [TS]

  just because it's like cultural heritage [TS]

  but also because I love codes you know I [TS]

  love social codes I love in I love [TS]

  interpreting codes I love seeing when [TS]

  other people like Dow Constantine [TS]

  wearing those fucking ribbons is and the [TS]

  converse is expressing a knowledge of [TS]

  ultimately of people and of stories and [TS]

  of the stories that people want to tell [TS]

  and that's what all this stuff is about [TS]

  and I admire it when I see it [TS]

  and honestly I feel like the single [TS]

  piece of scotch tape on the sheriff's [TS]

  gun was a thing that he initially put on [TS]

  there because a screw fell out of his [TS]

  pistol and then he liked what it [TS]

  symbolized he's a man of the people he [TS]

  has a piece of tape on his gun and no [TS]

  one has said anything about it he's been [TS]

  wearing that tape on his gun for fucking [TS]

  ever I bet because looking at the tape [TS]

  it had been on there a long time it was [TS]

  all it was all used and it was put on [TS]

  there very you know not not with any [TS]

  attempt to be neat it was very like slap [TS]

  on some tape he'd been wearing that like [TS]

  a pin on his lapel as a way of signaling [TS]

  so many things and someone finally said [TS]

  something about it and he was thrilled [TS]

  and his deputy was thrilled [TS]

  all these little flags that we have all [TS]

  these flag lapels a flag pins on our [TS]

  lapels that are that are ways of saying [TS]

  like this is me like a sheriff can't [TS]

  bling out his outfit it already is [TS]

  completely composed I'm not sure if Sam [TS]

  you know he doesn't have any there's no [TS]

  opportunity for him to put them even a [TS]

  even a flower in [TS]

  lapel because it would be out of uniform [TS]

  huh but he can put a little tape on the [TS]

  handle of his gun like a like a lace [TS]

  brassiere [TS]

  now at some point do you think you [TS]

  should get that fixed I mean like it's [TS]

  fun he's having fun with it which I like [TS]

  I like that he's doing some bling and [TS]

  he's got his his version of a black [TS]

  brassiere but like damn certain points [TS]

  shouldn't police officer make sure his [TS]

  gun doesn't have tape on it and that's a [TS]

  throwaway piece I think they call it I'm [TS]

  hoping I'm hoping that this Sheriff has [TS]

  enough insulating sheriffs around him he [TS]

  has three or four there were the shit [TS]

  there there are the deputies you see and [TS]

  there that are the deputies you don't [TS]

  see and in Seattle at least in in in [TS]

  Palin around with Dow his driver and his [TS]

  the deputy that is assigned to shadow [TS]

  Dow is always a woman and there and at [TS]

  this event [TS]

  standing sort of back with my crown on [TS]

  that's another fun game is to pick out [TS]

  the people who are there because they [TS]

  are carrying guns because they're [TS]

  shadowing somebody right because a lot [TS]

  of the people at this event have a [TS]

  shadow and the shadow isn't standing at [TS]

  their elbow the shadow is standing in a [TS]

  corner somewhere and they will have an [TS]

  earpiece or they won't but they will [TS]

  definitely have a little twirly cable on [TS]

  it like you're like a Secret Service [TS]

  type situation yeah so there were four [TS]

  of those people at this event but there [TS]

  were also other people that didn't have [TS]

  twirl ease but that had on you know like [TS]

  bulges in their jackets and in King [TS]

  County at least it seems like often the [TS]

  like secret detectives the ones the ones [TS]

  who are standing at one remove are women [TS]

  because I think that the county [TS]

  recognizes that bad guys are there you [TS]

  know the the goal of somebody's standing [TS]

  there with a pistol is that you may not [TS]

  be notice [TS]

  mm-hmm and bad guys are gonna be less [TS]

  likely to think that the sheriff is [TS]

  being shadowed by a deputy who's a woman [TS]

  and that that's an extra layer of [TS]

  badassery that's super badass like Pussy [TS]

  Galore like you have your whole like [TS]

  your squad of action people that's [TS]

  really cool and so when the when the the [TS]

  gang was all finally arrayed on our on [TS]

  our big like parade of Corvettes which [TS]

  is how we were going through the parade [TS]

  and the mayor the the beleaguered mayor [TS]

  of Seattle also arrived and got in his [TS]

  Corvette and I was very interested to [TS]

  know because it's a parade and there's [TS]

  very little separation between you and [TS]

  the crowd in a parade yeah as he started [TS]

  having a rough time well I mean what [TS]

  what he is accused of he will never not [TS]

  have a rough time I mean I know you've [TS]

  been acquainted with him I'm trying to [TS]

  be classy about it but he's he's had [TS]

  kind of some a challenge our current [TS]

  mayor did not run for re-election even [TS]

  though he was until this scandal [TS]

  presumed to be a shoo-in he he bowed out [TS]

  of the race and now there are 21 people [TS]

  running for mayor of Seattle and I [TS]

  should have done it it should have done [TS]

  just film no no please don't even for 22 [TS]

  it's done but but so he's in the parade [TS]

  Dow is in a parade they're both riding [TS]

  sort of next to each other in their [TS]

  Corvettes awkward and buff and it's very [TS]

  awkward because Dow is a very successful [TS]

  politician who will be a national [TS]

  politician at one point in his life for [TS]

  sure I mean unless he makes a real [TS]

  misstep which I don't foresee him making [TS]

  but so I walk up in my tunic to their [TS]

  cars to say good luck gentlemen have a [TS]

  great parade on behalf of King Neptune [TS]

  of Seafarer you know have a good time in [TS]

  your parade and as I step to their car [TS]

  you you notice that the secret people [TS]

  the secret deputies I like the secret [TS]

  people I like the secret people they [TS]

  reveal the [TS]

  selves because out of the stout of the [TS]

  scrum of people who are kind of milling [TS]

  around I walk up to these cars fairly [TS]

  quickly because I'm just like mayor good [TS]

  luck have a good race you no doubt good [TS]

  luck have a fun have a fun time I'm just [TS]

  sort of moving quickly to these cars [TS]

  which are which are surrounded with a [TS]

  bubble of nobody in them because again [TS]

  sort of the presumption is like there's [TS]

  a bubble around these people yeah an [TS]

  abundance of caution and so out of the [TS]

  out of the the crowd that's on the [TS]

  periphery I step to these cars and those [TS]

  four people step forward one step and [TS]

  it's not a thing you would notice mm-hmm [TS]

  unless you were conscious of them being [TS]

  there already and knowing that they are [TS]

  all four of them vigilant enough to say [TS]

  who's this fucking guy you move in a [TS]

  move you start you start moving toward [TS]

  didn't Daenerys on on the crown a few [TS]

  people are gonna change positions that's [TS]

  right they all change position to get a [TS]

  little bit better sight line yeah and [TS]

  and they see the mayor [TS]

  you'd recognise me and put out his hand [TS]

  and say hey you know thanks and and who [TS]

  our mare is he's like you know he we'd [TS]

  we don't know each other exactly [TS]

  socially but certainly we know each [TS]

  other and he's like hi great to see [TS]

  thanks for your support he didn't [TS]

  actually say that but no really no [TS]

  that's just in his eyes it's all he [TS]

  knows how to do and then I was like [TS]

  thanks you know and so the the sheriff's [TS]

  take a step forward or the the secret [TS]

  people take a step forward but they know [TS]

  they don't have to take a second step [TS]

  forward because they they see then I'm [TS]

  being acknowledged and recognized and [TS]

  welcome you're good mm-hm [TS]

  if they I think I probably almost [TS]

  certainly that Dow and the mayor both [TS]

  have a a way of posturing themselves [TS]

  which says secret people would you [TS]

  arrive with a quickness you know stiffen [TS]

  up a little bit or something and they [TS]

  know oh it's go time [TS]

  yeah they stiffen up or they look over [TS]

  their shoulder or in some way that [TS]

  recoil mmm-hmm where that where the [TS]

  deputies will arrive on the scene but [TS]

  all of that dance it's so it's just so [TS]

  interesting and so [TS]

  you know what the hierarchy among people [TS]

  with stars on their collars is mmm-hmm [TS]

  there were two Admirals and I wanted to [TS]

  know who reported to the other and so I [TS]

  walked up to one Admiral and I said [TS]

  who's you both that you both have three [TS]

  stars [TS]

  so who's the Kahuna and the guys like [TS]

  what [TS]

  and I'm like well he controls a carrier [TS]

  Strike Group you are commander of [TS]

  Pacific Fleet Operations who gets the [TS]

  bigger slice of cake at the at the [TS]

  reception and the guy that I'm talking [TS]

  to his wife starts to laugh and he said [TS]

  well we're in different we are different [TS]

  where we report to different we both [TS]

  report to the same guy like he doesn't [TS]

  report to me I don't report to him yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah but what's the real story [TS]

  exactly I said yeah okay so he brings [TS]

  his carrier Strike Force into your base [TS]

  if you're mad at him do you get to say [TS]

  like all right well sorry we're out of [TS]

  macaroni and cheese you don't we're not [TS]

  we're not gonna resupply you because of [TS]

  something and his wife is just fuckin [TS]

  cracking up at this point he's like well [TS]

  no first of all I'm not in charge of [TS]

  macaroni and cheese but yeah second and [TS]

  I said so what so it's the military [TS]

  there's no equal no one's equal to [TS]

  anybody that's what makes it the [TS]

  military it's like it's like when you [TS]

  get a pack of dogs yeah you can't write [TS]

  any question you got to know like here's [TS]

  your nose here's this but let's go and [TS]

  so finally he says well he has seniority [TS]

  and I said you mean he enlisted first or [TS]

  he was promoted to Admiral first oh boy [TS]

  you're not gonna let it go are you no no [TS]

  I want to know and his and his wife is [TS]

  is having the best time and he is he may [TS]

  not have thought of this for a long time [TS]

  it's so unconscious in them that he [TS]

  might not have had to break this down [TS]

  but he says both he joined before I did [TS]

  and he was promoted [TS]

  right before I was and I said but [TS]

  doesn't that make you the wunderkind [TS]

  like you are you're younger than him and [TS]

  promoted to the same rank as him and he [TS]

  ran outside agitator john roderick and [TS]

  he shows no he shows no emotion except [TS]

  just the slightest crinkle in his eye [TS]

  just the slightest flash at being [TS]

  complimented and at being recognized as [TS]

  as having made that accomplishment at a [TS]

  younger age [TS]

  mmm-hmm but he said that's not how it [TS]

  works its seniority works according to [TS]

  like age and i said thank you admiral [TS]

  you've Claire you've you know you've [TS]

  clarified things for me today and he the [TS]

  thing is both of these guys are sitting [TS]

  in the backseat of their Corvettes like [TS]

  I'm walking down the lawn okay they [TS]

  can't get away and they're kind of not [TS]

  supposed to say I don't want to talk to [TS]

  you anymore no cuz I'm the fucking King [TS]

  you're the King I have to talk to you [TS]

  and they're both sitting next to their [TS]

  wives which is a different power dynamic [TS]

  it liar hundred percent right I mean [TS]

  like we can all we can all we're doing [TS]

  our little boys thing together our men [TS]

  talking to men thing like you know [TS]

  nobody's gonna Pierce but like they each [TS]

  have their own court jester that [TS]

  actually is running the court yes and [TS]

  they are and the wives are really [TS]

  enjoying this kind of thing right this [TS]

  they're the Admiral except not not at [TS]

  home I'm sure that's true I'm sure [TS]

  that's their long-running gag but I'm [TS]

  also sure probably every single one of [TS]

  them owes their wife so much can you [TS]

  imagine all the bullshit that their [TS]

  family has gone through so that they [TS]

  could have that career all you have to [TS]

  do is watch the right stuff right oh I [TS]

  mean rather we were talking about that [TS]

  just this morning wouldn't know it was [TS]

  Sam Shepard in that yes okay that's why [TS]

  I mention it this morning because I've [TS]

  seen dally [TS]

  she loves Apollo 13 but we've never seen [TS]

  the right stuff and I was like we got to [TS]

  watch that movie it's long it's so good [TS]

  it's really long he played those ladies [TS]

  tough those are tough ladies they are [TS]

  tough and they were tough in in in [TS]

  precisely the era where [TS]

  they were expected to behave a certain [TS]

  way that you know that didn't allow them [TS]

  really to to be assertive publicly [TS]

  assertive it was a bit like like for [TS]

  generations or even millennia like they [TS]

  self-organized not de but any any group [TS]

  like that like self-organized is in the [TS]

  CIA we're like this is you know this is [TS]

  how the village gets things accomplished [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  yes still very related very related [TS]

  structures in like and you put in your [TS]

  anecdote about the the Admirals and the [TS]

  Corvettes you know it's like the part [TS]

  that makes that awkward is that they [TS]

  know the answer to that question [TS]

  I bet I mean they Co they feel it oh [TS]

  yeah I mean they feel it in there you [TS]

  walk into a room and anybody you give [TS]

  any of those guys two drinks and he [TS]

  could force rank that entire room [TS]

  without even thinking about it he could [TS]

  he could fully force rank that room and [TS]

  and I bet you most people in the room [TS]

  could do the exact same thing people [TS]

  given the same amount of information and [TS]

  expertise could go up absolutely top [TS]

  guys I'm Katherine Katherine Oh all the [TS]

  way all the way down the line it's just [TS]

  that it's awkward to talk about it and [TS]

  then how would you if you if they were [TS]

  to say that to you how would they [TS]

  support that in a way that didn't sound [TS]

  like mumbo-jumbo well and there are [TS]

  people who are listening right now who [TS]

  are in the United States Armed Forces [TS]

  and who are officers and who will [TS]

  probably report to us in greater detail [TS]

  but I wonder whether when those two [TS]

  Admirals meet coming through the Rye [TS]

  mm-hmm whether the junior Admiral [TS]

  salutes first because they both know [TS]

  like I'm pretty sure all the three-star [TS]

  all the three stars out there and I [TS]

  think they are lieutenant Admirals or [TS]

  something I don't know exactly which [TS]

  which it is I'm getting yelled at about [TS]

  that but I think they probably all know [TS]

  each other almost certainly they know [TS]

  each other they are there interacting [TS]

  with each other socially and [TS]

  professionally and when they see one [TS]

  another whether the junior one even [TS]

  junior by two days [TS]

  whether they know to salute first I [TS]

  don't know that is a that's a level of [TS]

  military protocol I don't know but but [TS]

  in this little in this little corral [TS]

  that I was in there's the mayor who is [TS]

  used to being the top guy in the city [TS]

  there's the Dow Constantine who is the [TS]

  executive of the county and the county [TS]

  incorporates the city but those two have [TS]

  a relationship that is defined the [TS]

  protocol of that relationship has been [TS]

  defined for decades but still Dow is the [TS]

  more successful of the two politicians [TS]

  the one who will be in office next year [TS]

  Oh interesting so how does that work now [TS]

  the Navy is in town and these guys are [TS]

  high-ranking Navy officers how do they [TS]

  interact with a mayor of a city [TS]

  the sheriff is there he's got four stars [TS]

  on his collar the Admirals only have [TS]

  three but you also know who's the home [TS]

  team right right I think when somebody [TS]

  else is the home team you are dignified [TS]

  but differential right but like sheriff [TS]

  stars and army stars oh yeah right they [TS]

  don't they don't there's definitely [TS]

  there's like a whole like it's like a [TS]

  British Pound type situation like that's [TS]

  that's a different kind of star [TS]

  different kind of stuff mm-hmm and then [TS]

  you waltz and then you plop down in the [TS]

  middle of all of this [TS]

  a rich person so let's say there's a [TS]

  billionaire and let me have an [TS]

  influential person let's say it's Jeff [TS]

  Bezos come to the events so now Jeff [TS]

  Bezos is in the middle so now all [TS]

  picture changes for me [TS]

  he's just cackling maniacally it's just [TS]

  he's there and he's in a hyperbaric [TS]

  chamber that's also a hovercraft [TS]

  [Laughter] [TS]