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0:00:15[Music]
0:00:20hello hi John hi Merlin man how's it
0:00:25going John Roderick good does anybody
0:00:28ever call you Merlin mang mang you know
0:00:32I don't get that one too much yeah I was
0:00:34telling my daughter that you're one of a
0:00:36very small handful of people who still
0:00:39call me Merle oh and she's heard that
0:00:41name like twice ever
0:00:42she thinks it's really weird Merle
0:00:45because we've been to the comic shop and
0:00:47talked to the guy at the comic shop the
0:00:49that's not he doesn't he's not
0:00:51technically the owner although he's kind
0:00:53of the owner you know it's co-op but the
0:00:55donors name is Christian and and so he's
0:00:58a little bit younger than me but he came
0:01:00up at a time where people go oh like a
0:01:04sister Christian hmm
0:01:07so as soon as he discovered that night
0:01:09Ranger was coming out with a song called
0:01:11sister he preemptively told people to
0:01:13calm Chris oh and that got us talking
0:01:15about the name thing he knew that he
0:01:17knew that even then he knew to say I'd
0:01:22better get it I'd better get ahead of
0:01:23this yeah yeah I got in front of his
0:01:24skis on that which I think it's kind of
0:01:26smart don't tell me love me no I'm
0:01:27saying yeah exactly and so who called
0:01:31you Merle you uh my lady friend
0:01:36sometimes she's really refer to me by
0:01:38name it doesn't come up very much it's
0:01:42kind of a it's kind of like a familiar
0:01:43familial familial familiar front Familia
0:01:50cheese from you yeah Familia yeah it's a
0:01:57little you know it's a it's a diminutive
0:01:59it's like a I I knew a kid in elementary
0:02:02school named Clark and his mother called
0:02:05him Clarkie oh I think that's sweet
0:02:07what is sweet but it's a but that's a
0:02:09tough name to put a to put a little like
0:02:12e on the end clunky it makes it extra
0:02:15clicky collecti it is clarkey I there
0:02:17was a girl in my high school named
0:02:19sharky sharky sharky like ch ch a R kie
0:02:27turkey that was her name her the gorilla
0:02:31goonz named Sharkey
0:02:33oh that's right Sharkey he just started
0:02:35a new service where a touring band can
0:02:37rent a van from him
0:02:39that's a profitable business anyway
0:02:42charkie well you remember Sharky's
0:02:46machine starring Burt Reynolds yes I
0:02:48sure do
0:02:49Sharky's machine so there's more than
0:02:51one person named Sharkey hmm I've never
0:02:53met another person named Sharkey I still
0:02:56know charkie turkey at the time in high
0:03:00school you would never have thought that
0:03:01charkie and I would know one another
0:03:04thirty years later mm-hmm but she lives
0:03:08in Seattle and she sometimes comes to
0:03:11comes to my shows and she's very
0:03:13supportive that's so nice I don't know
0:03:15anybody anymore yeah well I barely know
0:03:19you keep up with a lot of people I guess
0:03:21I do you really do first great first day
0:03:25of fourth grade 1976 back when school
0:03:28started in September like a normal thing
0:03:33started off for the days I started in my
0:03:36new class his hair was my teacher
0:03:38and his hair with an e said I'm gonna
0:03:42read your name and if there's anything
0:03:43you prefer to be called instead of that
0:03:45let me know and I don't know why but
0:03:48this is a couple years after my father
0:03:49had passed away
0:03:50I've been Merlin the whole time and for
0:03:51some reason I said I would like to be
0:03:53called Merle I kind of took it as a way
0:03:56to honor my father and I thought it was
0:03:57a cool name and that's what I went by
0:04:01Rob Lee until into college that's what I
0:04:05was known as really you know yeah now it
0:04:08seems kind of weird yeah right so but if
0:04:11you ran into some old old pal from the
0:04:13neighborhood that I would call you Merle
0:04:16probably I mean do you think about your
0:04:18name very much I don't think about my
0:04:20name that much I've seen where people
0:04:21assume because they call you by your
0:04:22name they think about it but like I
0:04:24don't think about my name very much you
0:04:27have a Merlin man is like one of the
0:04:29all-time greatest names of all time
0:04:30that's a pretty good name a lot of
0:04:32people assume it's a made-up name I mean
0:04:33I guess yeah clear all names are made up
0:04:35but no it's Mike it's my birth
0:04:36certificate name yeah I mean it's really
0:04:39it's really extraordinary and yeah John
0:04:42John especially somebody my age I mean
0:04:45they named every fourth
0:04:46boy John so it doesn't really ring out
0:04:49and plus of course I mean the proof is
0:04:54the proof is in the fact that you and I
0:04:56in our immediate social circle know like
0:05:0011 John's
0:05:01right I mean there are a lot of job I
0:05:04have two ongoing regular podcasts with
0:05:08people named John mm-hmm I frequently
0:05:10podcast with other people named John and
0:05:12then I know I know some Jonathan's as
0:05:14well yeah and then there the lar there's
0:05:17the wider not even much wider circle of
0:05:19John's and also I am for whatever reason
0:05:23have always been very very nickname
0:05:27resistant no self or others no no no no
0:05:31I I would I always wanted a nickname I
0:05:33thought a nickname was was great but you
0:05:35know for a nickname I've had super good
0:05:37name
0:05:37I know my uncle called me the kid which
0:05:40I thought was kind of a cool nickname it
0:05:42was a little bit you know diminutive but
0:05:44that's kind of the idea of a name like
0:05:45the kid I like that okay I mean but the
0:05:49thing is a lot of nicknames come from
0:05:50stuff like wetting your pants you know
0:05:53or one day you don't wear a jacket you
0:05:55know everybody's just calling you
0:05:56snotboogie yeah some tribal stuff yeah
0:05:59tribal stuff in my family is is well I
0:06:05mean the people in my family are late
0:06:08breeders and late breeders all the way
0:06:11back so you know my dad was 47 when I
0:06:16was born but his dad was in his 40s when
0:06:20he was born now that's weird and his
0:06:23father before him and looking through
0:06:25the records there are people in my
0:06:28family in 1750 who had a child who had
0:06:33one of my forebears in their 40s was it
0:06:37sometimes the first child because that
0:06:38that's the weird part
0:06:39so did you get miracle babies but I
0:06:42think at least in my mother's age and
0:06:45really into our time it was considered
0:06:46pretty weird to have no first kid in
0:06:49your 30s
0:06:49off on a first child and more unusual a
0:06:52lot of the MA
0:06:53were in their mid-30s too even late 30s
0:06:57as far back as as the 18 whatever's
0:07:01early 18 and so we have no idea how far
0:07:04back that goes because it it fades into
0:07:07the into the fog of time yeah but so
0:07:12what that means is that my people are
0:07:17less evolved if you go back 50 thousand
0:07:21years and you can you have a group of
0:07:23people that are breeding that much
0:07:25you're saying over time that accumulates
0:07:28there's fewer time for your forebears to
0:07:30be alive in some ways yeah I am I am
0:07:33fewer generations removed from her
0:07:36humans than anyone else and in fact okay
0:07:39I dated a girl whose mother was 22 when
0:07:42she was born and her grandmother was 22
0:07:44when her mother was born and her
0:07:45great-grandmother was 22 and we we just
0:07:48sat and calculated it and even back just
0:07:51to the 19th century we it was very easy
0:07:54to see like she was already like two
0:07:56generations ahead of me based on the
0:08:00number of relatives it took to get back
0:08:03to 1805 got it got it and so what that
0:08:06means is that within my family there are
0:08:09all these anachronisms all these strange
0:08:14verbal tics and the weird preferences
0:08:17like you having exposure to so much like
0:08:20big band music or me having like way
0:08:24more exposure to the comic style of the
0:08:281930s then say the 60s mm-hmm you know
0:08:32I'm saying like you know like you know
0:08:34my dad was really into the Marx Brothers
0:08:36and the Ritz brothers and Evan Costello
0:08:37and all this kind of stuff so that stuff
0:08:39was always in Jimmy Durante that stuff
0:08:40was just always around like to the point
0:08:42where when I was in a talent show when I
0:08:44was like eight I was doing it Jimmy
0:08:45Durante impersonation 75 that doesn't
0:08:49make any sense
0:08:50I dressed as Groucho Marx for the for
0:08:53Halloween in like 1980 Wow
0:08:55a grouch was still a lot but yeah but
0:08:57you know it's it's related all the way I
0:09:00mean I hear it in a lot of the things a
0:09:02lot of the affectations of my people I
0:09:03may have even mentioned this to you
0:09:04before but
0:09:05mom refers to Napoleon as Bonaparte
0:09:10derisively yeah
0:09:12because if you trace her family back
0:09:16like she her people were on the
0:09:19receiving end of Bonaparte ISM in a way
0:09:23that she and not and not just with she
0:09:26doesn't just say it with contempt she
0:09:27says it with AD admiring contempt like
0:09:31except out General Sherman or something
0:09:34yeah he's the bad guy but also like you
0:09:37know he's well I mean yet enough that
0:09:40you refer to him by his by his patch and
0:09:44often enough that your son notices it as
0:09:46kind of an odd bit yeah right or my
0:09:48mom's complete contempt for Appalachian
0:09:51people well which is because her what
0:09:56was it her great-grandfather was a Civil
0:09:59War veteran and and she knew him and you
0:10:02know we're high winds let's be honest
0:10:05we'd like to believe that we are at the
0:10:07top of the Appalachian food West
0:10:11Virginia give me a break
0:10:12but my people call me my my older
0:10:16relatives called me John John from the
0:10:19time I was born
0:10:20John John and they still call me John
0:10:22John to this day which feels like an
0:10:25which feels like a nickname from another
0:10:27time yeah you know like nobody really
0:10:30calls people John John John Hodgman gets
0:10:34called John John I don't think he'd have
0:10:35it no I don't think so my sister decided
0:10:37at some I don't know if she decided her
0:10:40maybe I decided but we started calling
0:10:41her Sousou oh that's sweet yeah and it
0:10:44becomes its own little you know it
0:10:47becomes kind of a name as you Su Su Su
0:10:51but no my friends have tried to nickname
0:10:54me a thousand times
0:10:55and it usually bounces off there was a
0:10:58there was a little period in high school
0:11:00where I was called a rad dog rat dog
0:11:02just just to be clear these are
0:11:04nicknames that were given to you by
0:11:06others yeah it's my bone type situation
0:11:09know or like when my dad when my dad
0:11:11tried to write at some point in his life
0:11:14tried to convince me that in college
0:11:16he'd been cult spider I was like nobody
0:11:18are
0:11:19no no I was me I was nicknamed spider
0:11:22uh-huh by my fraternity brothers I was
0:11:24like that no one called you spider a
0:11:26single time don't don't kid that's a
0:11:28retcon you know yeah but there were some
0:11:31there were some kids in my you know I
0:11:33went partly in high school to a school
0:11:36within a school mm-hmm that one over you
0:11:38had to go down the hallway right yeah
0:11:39and there were some kids in the school
0:11:41within a school that I think later as a
0:11:43group of people as a group of like five
0:11:46friends all became born-again oh my but
0:11:49but they were they were pretty hilarious
0:11:52and they were a year ahead of me right
0:11:54so they were juniors when I was a
0:11:56sophomore and they were like funny dudes
0:11:58and nerds funny nerds and one day one of
0:12:03them called me rip-roarin rad dawg
0:12:11radical rock and righteously rascal and
0:12:14reefer and Roderick and somehow this
0:12:19group of nerd dudes took this up and
0:12:23could all say it and it was an honor
0:12:30that this group of five older funny like
0:12:35school within a school nerds had this
0:12:38long complicated nickname for man that
0:12:42takes some effort yeah yeah well but it
0:12:45was the type of it was the type of
0:12:47people they were right I mean I they
0:12:49also had a thing where at one point some
0:12:51AV person was trying to get a filmstrip
0:12:54to work or trying to get some movie to
0:12:56work in a class they were in and all of
0:12:59a sudden I seen somewhere in the middle
0:13:01came screaming on with the volume full
0:13:05up of some woman saying no mustard and
0:13:09then you know they would each say no
0:13:11mustard probably 32 times in a typical
0:13:14school day even how these things work
0:13:15it's early no no it's it's a thing and I
0:13:19mean that's an age where you're more
0:13:21intensely aware of memetic things and
0:13:24you know I got bits today I got stuff
0:13:26I'm still staying as saying today that
0:13:27like I started saying in like junior
0:13:28high high school it's very it's a very
0:13:30me me time ya know mustard
0:13:32haven't said it in a long time but I'm
0:13:33sure that it a long time ago no mustard
0:13:35and it would be a reaction to anything
0:13:37that to anything really these things I
0:13:41got tons of these in my house we have so
0:13:43many of these just between the three of
0:13:45us in our house that are not very
0:13:46interesting to other people but like I
0:13:47love those I mean it's it's there's
0:13:50certain things where if one person says
0:13:51something like a certain word or phrase
0:13:54everybody else will automatically say
0:13:57something sometimes in a funny voice
0:13:58more like there will be like like a
0:14:00certain cadence to how you say something
0:14:02that makes everybody didn't say the
0:14:04catchphrase I love that stuff mm-hmm
0:14:06somehow rad dog rad dog red dog
0:14:11percolated out of this rip-roarin rad
0:14:14dog business and it got shortened to
0:14:18that and then it went let's just say it
0:14:22went viral and in my high school among
0:14:24people who knew me not everybody called
0:14:27me that obviously like my girlfriend
0:14:30didn't but but they're aware of it yeah
0:14:33everybody was aware of it and people did
0:14:34call me that and I think there are still
0:14:37people in the world who might say that
0:14:39to me if it popped into their head I'm
0:14:42not gonna say it I respect the mean in
0:14:46this case that's an important mean but I
0:14:47that doesn't suit you not that you're
0:14:51not red nor a dog it just doesn't it's
0:14:54not on-brand for John 2017 no it's some
0:14:58it's the nickname of somebody that every
0:15:00time he goes off a mogul he does a
0:15:02backscratcher
0:15:03hmm see I'm thinking like I I like the
0:15:06anchorman I think that that's one that
0:15:07could definitely it's good it's good but
0:15:10but it feels like something that people
0:15:12who were talking about me would say to
0:15:15each other
0:15:15nobody's gonna come up to me and say
0:15:17like hello the anchorman have you seen
0:15:19have you seen the anchorman today yeah
0:15:21are like oh yeah he was talking to the
0:15:23anchorman mm-hmm and I don't think it's
0:15:25I don't think it's that sticky that it's
0:15:27gonna turn into that most people I have
0:15:30found and I bet this is true
0:15:33well maybe not of you but most people
0:15:35call me by my full name yes I have known
0:15:38I have no I see I hate to say names
0:15:40because then people gonna be able to
0:15:41come up but I have friend in college his
0:15:42name was Patricia frou and her
0:15:45her name her Kenny was paddy fruit and
0:15:47you never call her paddy even wouldn't
0:15:49call her freak our paddy fruit cuz it
0:15:50feels great to say paddy fruit paddy
0:15:52fruit don't you don't look at petty
0:15:54petty fruit and John Roderick is just
0:15:57it's still it's a lot of syllables to to
0:16:00get out but it's just it's what makes
0:16:02sense to people that's got a nice rhythm
0:16:05to it though yeah John Roderick and I
0:16:09guess that somewhere somewhere recently
0:16:11somebody oh oh yeah I've told you this
0:16:14before my first my first email address
0:16:16was hotrod at Capitol Hill dunno get
0:16:18read that's a little cafe there yeah and
0:16:21there are a lot of people that would
0:16:22still call me hot rodder I've referred
0:16:24to you as hot you know I want to put
0:16:25that on the list I've called you hot rod
0:16:27yeah hot rod huh I've called you that
0:16:29that's that's what you are in my when I
0:16:32get a text from you that's the nickname
0:16:33I've given you in the Apple contacts out
0:16:35oh that's wonderful hot rod well they
0:16:37I'm glad that survives yeah that's a
0:16:39good know that one kind of works that's
0:16:41you guys that's got that's got aspects
0:16:43to it to it you know what I mean yeah
0:16:45yeah yeah it does it's it it it does
0:16:48still work but it doesn't feel like
0:16:49something I would want somebody younger
0:16:52than me who doesn't know me to come up
0:16:54to me on the street and call me that
0:16:58yeah it's a little bit of a friend
0:17:00nickname but I wouldn't want somebody to
0:17:02come up and be like hi hey hot rod I
0:17:03really loved your show I'd be like hmm
0:17:06I'd give a little bit of a gasp face to
0:17:09that whereas rad dog if somebody if you
0:17:14know if like somebody came up and was
0:17:15like a rad dog all the great shows I'd
0:17:18be like okay alright I'd give them the
0:17:20finger guns you're making that an
0:17:23opening here saying if somebody sees you
0:17:25at the mall they can say that to you is
0:17:28that okay I mean I it's not like I'm
0:17:30saying do it mmm-hmm I'm not
0:17:32recommending it I'm just saying like
0:17:33don't call me hot rod what I'm saying
0:17:37don't call me all right
0:17:38and and then joke joke Oh Joe
0:17:42Joko turned all of us into Joe rose and
0:17:45Joe hose and you know what I mean like
0:17:48when because we're all sort of Joe and
0:17:53John Scalzi is easy just call Joe skull
0:17:56I don't think it goes that far
0:17:58Jesse Joe Kojo Roe and Joe ho those
0:18:02three but that is sounds kind of
0:18:06scooby-doo a little bit it does and it's
0:18:08all it's all Joe co-dependent I'm you
0:18:12know I'm never gonna be Joe ro outside
0:18:15of yes that although I did have a
0:18:18girlfriend they call me Johnny rod
0:18:21[Music]
0:18:28that's the kind of nickname that you got
0:18:31to have it you got to have a cool car if
0:18:32you're called Johnny rod
0:18:34I just remembered one there was a local
0:18:36chain of barbecue restaurants in Pasco
0:18:39County and a guy in my English class
0:18:41decided that I was fat and so he called
0:18:44me fat boy BBQ that boy barbeque pepper
0:18:47barbecue it he'd say the whole thing
0:18:49that boy hey fat boy BBQ how's it going
0:18:52John these names like John Watson he had
0:18:54like a real plain name yeah John Watson
0:18:56there was a kid named John Watson in
0:18:58Anchorage but he was a member I think he
0:19:01was either a member or the brother of
0:19:02one of the guys in a punk band called
0:19:06the exhumed and the exhumed were famous
0:19:11in Anchorage for being like really
0:19:14really bad dudes who know I mean they
0:19:18would like find dead cats and nail him
0:19:22to a cross real stuff yeah real stuff
0:19:27and they were they were the you know
0:19:29they were the real deal but they you
0:19:32know they were just like some they were
0:19:34just some kids they weren't they weren't
0:19:37the they weren't like whatever the real
0:19:38deal is but and I have no way of knowing
0:19:41whether or not they nailed the dead cat
0:19:43to a to a tree I just heard that sure
0:19:45that's all you need
0:19:46I mean that's right once you get the rap
0:19:49yeah well that's crazy Dan sorry might
0:19:52might you Bennifer my echo device
0:19:54talking I did what did you what did your
0:19:56Alexis aim well see today is a fraud day
0:19:59John I hope that by the time that this
0:20:00airs something will have been fixed but
0:20:02there's a huge problem right now so
0:20:05right now I'm leaving this in right now
0:20:08the encryption that secures
0:20:11Wi-Fi husband has been mostly hacked
0:20:16kind of mostly so pretty much it's
0:20:19unclear what the full extent of this is
0:20:21but it's safe to assume right now that
0:20:22anything you're doing over Wi-Fi can be
0:20:25unencrypted so this is actually an
0:20:28opportunity for you to rewrite the
0:20:30encryption this episode of Roderick on
0:20:35the line is brought to you by Mack
0:20:36Weldon you can learn more about Mack
0:20:39Weldon right now by visiting you guessed
0:20:41it Mack Weldon dot-com listen team this
0:20:45is a new sponsor for us and I am legit
0:20:47excited that they're here I'm gonna tell
0:20:49you why first of all Roderick and I love
0:20:51money let's just take that as red
0:20:52money's a good thing but it also happens
0:20:55that I am a huge fan of Mack Wheldon's
0:20:57clothes and I buy an unconscionable
0:20:59amount of their stuff using my very own
0:21:01American money I had an order last week
0:21:04and there's another one on the way today
0:21:06real talk
0:21:06I love this stuff you see Mack Weldon
0:21:09makes stuff like shirts doing pants
0:21:10hoodies socks and yes also there
0:21:12internationally famous underwear
0:21:14these pieces are each all just insanely
0:21:18comfortable they're sturdy and they're
0:21:19well made they fit great they look
0:21:21handsome they feel amazing today I want
0:21:23to talk to you about Mack Weldon shirts
0:21:24this is a special interest of mine
0:21:26because personally they make my favorite
0:21:28shirts it is what I wear all the time
0:21:30first off they make something I adore
0:21:31called the Pima long sleeve t-shirt mmm
0:21:35magnifique
0:21:36I'm making a chef mouth right there you
0:21:38can see that I guess well I'm not
0:21:41comfortable admitting how many of these
0:21:43I actually own I will tell you that they
0:21:44are literally my daily go-to top layer
0:21:47unless the occasion demands otherwise
0:21:49you will find me wearing one of these
0:21:50boys every day they are just the best
0:21:52also I know this one sounds weird but I
0:21:53love their plain white t-shirts I know
0:21:56it's an underrated garment they are
0:21:58hearty well tailor they have a nice long
0:22:00tail keeps your shirt tucked in like
0:22:02you're a big boy I switch to these last
0:22:04year full time all the way in I never
0:22:06looked back they're the best I threw
0:22:08away all my other t-shirts Mac Weldon
0:22:09shirts all at wear then of course I have
0:22:12to mention they have their magical
0:22:13Underpants Mac Walton has a line of
0:22:17silver underwear and shirts that are
0:22:19naturally antimicrobial and that means
0:22:21they help eliminate odor they want you
0:22:23to be comfortable so listen if you don't
0:22:25like
0:22:25first pair you keep it and they will
0:22:27still refund you no questions asked what
0:22:29a deal Mack Weldon you guys thank you so
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0:22:55supporting Roderick on the line and all
0:22:57the great shows livin large yeah no I
0:23:06know I'm in full lockdown mode I I
0:23:08turned off Wi-Fi on everything that I
0:23:10have I've turned off my Wi-Fi routers
0:23:12I've turned Wi-Fi off on my devices and
0:23:15that was my Amazon echo telling me that
0:23:19it can't find the internet I got my
0:23:22security camera bleeping red right now
0:23:23my lights are off so I can't say Alexa
0:23:30yeah what is the average rainfall in the
0:23:32Amazon basin hmm what does she say when
0:23:35you ask her that she's gonna have some
0:23:37witty retort that's one of her really
0:23:39retort question it's already retort but
0:23:41sometimes you know she just it's you
0:23:43gotta say it a certain way but you know
0:23:46you can say stuff like how much does the
0:23:48president way and don't usually get it
0:23:49so yeah that's a that's a huge deal this
0:23:51is a big deal I hope that gets happen
0:23:53what's the Russians I don't know I maybe
0:23:55got hacked
0:23:56supposedly yeah this is this is an
0:23:59exploitation that's out there in the
0:24:00wild it has to do with the four-way
0:24:01handshake it's the four-way handshake is
0:24:03the problem Holly if anything weird
0:24:05happens that just write it down to that
0:24:07so is this a situation where like a la
0:24:11Matt how're your garage doors going up
0:24:13and down and your it could be a Vladimir
0:24:16Putin opening your garage door you know
0:24:19I'm saying you imagine the insanity if
0:24:24the Russians opened every garage door in
0:24:26the country at once that would wake some
0:24:28people up yeah dogs and cats sleeping
0:24:30together yeah sure no one change the
0:24:32body politic if you didn't control your
0:24:33own garage door anymore he who controls
0:24:35the garage door controls the destiny you
0:24:38can have somebody come in steal your
0:24:39cordless drill you know I'm saying he is
0:24:41your density mm-hmm I want to ask you
0:24:47something and you you can feel free to
0:24:50ignore this you can feel free to tell me
0:24:52to cut this out but I wanted to share an
0:24:54anecdote about something that happened
0:24:55yesterday because I feel like it's
0:24:56something we need to explore can I share
0:25:00what happened yesterday yeah I know I'm
0:25:01dying to hear it well at some point
0:25:05better record this it's Monday October
0:25:0716th Wi-Fi is not working I think it was
0:25:11on probably I guess I could go look back
0:25:13I think probably on Saturday night maybe
0:25:18you texted me and oh yeah here we go
0:25:23here we go okay so yeah so on the 14th
0:25:27which would be Saturday I was telling
0:25:30you some offline administrative things
0:25:32you said that's exciting he said and
0:25:34then he said yes yesterday at 9:00 a.m.
0:25:35being Sunday you said on at 10:00 and I
0:25:38said you bet and then a certain time
0:25:41later I believe around 1001 he say
0:25:44except today is Sunday yeah and then I
0:25:47felt bad cuz I thought oh my god like I
0:25:50would net I would personally I'm not
0:25:52dying bragging but I would never if
0:25:54there are any two days I would never
0:25:55confuse it's sad it's Sunday and Monday
0:25:58but somehow you had an alarm set you you
0:26:02were planned and ready to go and you
0:26:04thought sunday was Monday Saturday night
0:26:07at 11 o'clock at night or whatever I
0:26:10leaned over and grabbed my phone and was
0:26:12like better set my alarm for for the
0:26:15show tomorrow we should tell our
0:26:18listeners we're trying an experiment
0:26:19inside the experiment which is going
0:26:20back to our tanning and recording time
0:26:22going back to 10 because 9 wasn't
0:26:23working for now yeah that's that's a
0:26:25wrinkle
0:26:25mm-hm and what happens with me and this
0:26:29show is that I set my alarm for 9:45
0:26:31because I know that I have 15 minutes
0:26:33after I wake up to microwave one cup of
0:26:36coffee and open my computer yeah and
0:26:41that's all I need all I need is 15
0:26:43minutes to like come come awake and
0:26:46sometimes I don't come all the way awake
0:26:47you may have noticed until you start
0:26:50talking to me and then I'm like
0:26:52what and then that then I am there it's
0:26:55like yeah you know it's its ambitious 15
0:26:57minutes is ambitious but you some of the
0:27:00time have been here at 10 a.m. yeah
0:27:03absolutely the case and I like to fly a
0:27:05little close to the Sun just enough that
0:27:07the wax in my wings softens without
0:27:10melting you can soften wax without it
0:27:14melting it's a lot like you jumping on
0:27:15the plane at the last minute jumping off
0:27:17the Muni at the last minute that's right
0:27:20if you're always Telegraph your
0:27:22movements a couple of days ago I flew to
0:27:25San Francisco for 24 hours and as I was
0:27:28leaving for the airport I said I'm only
0:27:31gonna be in San Francisco for 24 hours
0:27:34what should I pack and I thought about
0:27:37it and I was like I'm going to I didn't
0:27:39have a hotel arranged yet oh my god I
0:27:42talked about close to the Sun she's I
0:27:44said I'll get a hotel on my phone while
0:27:46I'm at the airport and then I was
0:27:49sitting there and I'm thinking like what
0:27:51do I bring I'm gonna be there for 24
0:27:53hours and then I said oh I know the
0:27:56answer nothing I'll bring nothing so I
0:27:59put my coat on and I walked out the door
0:28:02and I went to the airport and at the
0:28:04airport I thought I did something I
0:28:07never do which is download an app which
0:28:10was some kind of app that was that said
0:28:11last minute hotels because all of the
0:28:13hotels that are like a hotel tonight a
0:28:16hotel tonight type of thing most of the
0:28:19hotels that I normally stayed at stay at
0:28:21in San Francisco when I went to their
0:28:23websites and said what's the chance of
0:28:26me getting out tell rim tonight that's
0:28:30an open table type situation where it's
0:28:32like ma'am sorry nothing well well well
0:28:34the answer was that chances are great
0:28:37$600 and I'm like uh no $600 is the same
0:28:42as no hotel but I went on this thing
0:28:46which was something like hotels tonight
0:28:48and I got a hotel in what they describe
0:28:51this the great thing about San Francisco
0:28:53they describe it as Union Square
0:28:57[Laughter]
0:29:02really good bargain she's like it's
0:29:05great it's likely the Ambassador Hotel
0:29:07and you square with a Commodore or
0:29:09something like never get anything with
0:29:11the with like a military title like
0:29:13never get anything it sounds fancy that
0:29:15says Union Square yeah do not get the
0:29:37one neighborhood in America that has not
0:29:40changed one iota since 1972 like you
0:29:45still go down in the Tenderloin and it
0:29:47looks like an arc rum drawings yeah of
0:29:50people just like I mean that's bad it's
0:29:52just it's not funny and it has gotten
0:29:55super schmooper bad it's not shocking to
0:29:58people who come to town now in the last
0:30:00- even in the last two years like what
0:30:03what is happening on sixth Street is
0:30:04like unbelievable
0:30:06it's extraordinary it really is like
0:30:08it's not like it's not we're saying oh
0:30:09it's really sad there's lots of people
0:30:10sitting on the street like I can't I
0:30:12don't even want to tell you on a family
0:30:13podcast what kind of stuff is the
0:30:15extreme hieronymus bosch s human misery
0:30:19that is happening at a scale in order of
0:30:22magnitude greater than you think right
0:30:23now where there are literally people
0:30:26shitting publicly like up and down the
0:30:29street shooting up screaming and crying
0:30:31it is really it's very Bosh speaking of
0:30:34someone who just stayed there
0:30:35attack what in the u n-- Square area in
0:30:38the Union Square area what's incredible
0:30:41is that right there on market are the
0:30:43headquarters of medium and uber and with
0:30:46Twitter and a dozen of the darkness yeah
0:30:51a dozen other tech companies the hotel
0:30:53the Bisou that I stayed in has in the
0:30:56downstairs a craft cocktail bar where
0:31:01the bartender had a handlebar mustache
0:31:03and was playing Tupac but when I went up
0:31:09to the to the desk to check-in
0:31:11[Music]
0:31:13the receptionist said would you like it
0:31:15quiet room or a normal room that's
0:31:22that's an unusual level of candor it was
0:31:26an ice you know what I said would you
0:31:28say I'll take a normal room oh she
0:31:31didn't see that coming but on a high
0:31:33floor and so she put me on the top floor
0:31:36where I was able to hear in the course
0:31:39of the night at least one person who
0:31:43screamed almost continuously for two
0:31:45hours you could tell it was the same
0:31:47person for two hours and then at some
0:31:51point around 4:00 in the morning six
0:31:52shots fired into the air or what I
0:31:54presumed to be the air and this is like
0:31:58two blocks from market where the next
0:32:02morning when I woke up it was just a
0:32:04swarm of like techy wiki's on their way
0:32:07to work II work II on their little
0:32:10hoverboards and and and it's just like
0:32:14how how in the world does this work
0:32:17importantly these are people who are one
0:32:19might say commuting in they don't they
0:32:21don't live in the Union Square area
0:32:23no no they zoom in they zoom in on them
0:32:26but but so I arrived and I and this is
0:32:32you know there are big fires outside of
0:32:34San Francisco the whole city is shrouded
0:32:35in the like it looks like Tatooine
0:32:39I mean it's everything's orange it's
0:32:41super weird shrouded in the like in the
0:32:43dashed hopes and dreams of a hundred
0:32:47thousand or hundreds of thousands of
0:32:49people like it's just the ashes of
0:32:53Sonoma covering everything and the air
0:32:55it smells like a campfire and it's
0:32:57really weird so that's a very strange
0:32:59time for you to be here it was strange
0:33:01and you know Seattle had a big fires
0:33:03this year too up in British Columbia and
0:33:06that smoke kind of came down over
0:33:08Seattle but those British Columbia fires
0:33:10were happening mostly in like untouched
0:33:13forest so our forest fires were like it
0:33:17just smelled like a burning forest but
0:33:19yeah your fires were like burning towns
0:33:22yeah
0:33:24which was some heavy heavy duty stuff
0:33:26but this is all by way of describing the
0:33:29fact that I went to my show and then I
0:33:32woke up in the morning and I did a
0:33:33podcast with a friend and I met another
0:33:37one of our mutual friends at his man
0:33:38cave for a little while nice and then I
0:33:41got and I was doing when this was all
0:33:43walking around and then I got on a train
0:33:46and I went to the airport and at no
0:33:48point did I have any kind of of there
0:33:53was nothing even in my hands it was just
0:33:55I was wearing a jacket
0:33:57did you bring like a backpack or
0:33:59something I brought zero you you brought
0:34:02shut your mouth you can't go you are a
0:34:05brave man you got on a plane and flew to
0:34:07another state with the clothes on your
0:34:09back
0:34:10yeah with with not even a not even like
0:34:13an overcoat but with a blazer you're
0:34:15Batman
0:34:15and it was so when it was time to get on
0:34:19the plane it was like I I'm back to last
0:34:24on the plane because what the fuck do I
0:34:25care you can't do anything to you I mean
0:34:29like you have you know nothing got to
0:34:30tie you I don't need any I don't need to
0:34:32put anything on I'm gonna go over to
0:34:33borrow and get a lasagna just cuz I
0:34:36can't yeah I'm gonna sit here right I'm
0:34:38gonna sit here and just stare at the
0:34:40gate agent while they call my name three
0:34:42times cuz I mean those Hanyu still like
0:34:44it didn't nothing mattered I was a truly
0:34:48free yeah I was a free man just like you
0:34:51know I think I probably told you about
0:34:53my first trip to Europe I got robbed
0:34:57about halfway through and I had a
0:34:59backpack that had everything you go yes
0:35:01I remember this amp and and it was
0:35:04another situation where I was I spent a
0:35:07week just in deep mourning over all my
0:35:10lost socks and you know I lost a carton
0:35:14of cigarettes and my Walkman and all
0:35:17this stuff and then that period of
0:35:18mourning ended suddenly when I realized
0:35:21oh shit I don't have anything like I
0:35:24don't have anything yeah and it was
0:35:26really liberating right I traveled in
0:35:29Europe with nothing for I don't know
0:35:32three months I didn't have a thing
0:35:36I I just washed my clothes in the sink I
0:35:38mean I'm sure I smell terrible I'm sure
0:35:40I look terrible
0:35:41yeah but you know what you're a fucking
0:35:44student like compared to the French
0:35:47hippies that we're staying in the same
0:35:48youth hostel as I was I looked pretty
0:35:50pretty group
0:35:54speaking of groom uh-huh listen listen
0:35:59I'm processing this because I'm thinking
0:36:02about as I'm sure I've mentioned to you
0:36:03I did this thing when I packed where I
0:36:06and Idol did this is much anymore but I
0:36:08used to pack as though I were not only a
0:36:11different person than I am
0:36:13but I were that I was perhaps two to six
0:36:16different people than Who I am
0:36:18well I would I would like right now I
0:36:21wear I don't see I wear the same clothes
0:36:23every day I wear the same type of
0:36:25clothes pretty much every day including
0:36:27our sponsor for this episode thank you
0:36:28Mike Walden I frequently will just all
0:36:32wear jeans and a t-shirt and a
0:36:33long-sleeve shirt over that and then
0:36:34like a hoodie or something and somehow
0:36:36when I'm preparing to go anywhere I to
0:36:40quote some thought I turned it into
0:36:42Diana Ross and I'm bringing evening
0:36:45gowns for events that I have not been
0:36:46invited to and I'm bringing changes of
0:36:48socks that have absolutely no
0:36:52association with how often I would
0:36:54actually change my socks I've never
0:36:56needed in the modern era to change my
0:36:59socks more than once in a day right and
0:37:01it's oh you're going on a four-day trip
0:37:03and you take 11 pairs exactly right well
0:37:05the only thing I fell short on when I go
0:37:06to a warm climate because I'm so used to
0:37:08not being in a warm climate I sometimes
0:37:09forget that I need more bottom layer
0:37:12shirts than I think that's the only time
0:37:15I have less than I need but I weigh
0:37:18overcompensate so the reason I'm saying
0:37:19all of this is you're describing a dream
0:37:22to me like what you did it was very very
0:37:24brave and I'm very impressed
0:37:26well it's phenomenal and also I think
0:37:28one of the things that helped was I knew
0:37:30that the two people I was going to see
0:37:32on Friday were not people I was gonna
0:37:34see on Thursday and unless unless
0:37:36somebody drove past me on on Castro
0:37:40after seeing me Thursday night they
0:37:43weren't gonna see me Friday
0:37:45the Red Dog wear the same clothes there
0:37:47is and so not only did I wear one outfit
0:37:51but I didn't even wear like a blue shirt
0:37:54and a blue blazer I wore a bright orange
0:37:58blazer with a like an orange plaid tie
0:38:01so basically I was saying to the world
0:38:05like if there's even a if there's even a
0:38:08delay of my flight mm-hmm
0:38:10I'm the guy in the two day old orange
0:38:14blazer but as it as it was like I rolled
0:38:18into my house more or less the same time
0:38:21that I left it the following day and I
0:38:24took my coat off and put it on a hanger
0:38:25like fucking Mister Rogers
0:38:27yeah yeah and I was like doo doo doo
0:38:30what's next and it was pretty good
0:38:34pretty that's really impressive I know I
0:38:39know it felt it felt it felt like in the
0:38:42next oh and I got the chance I was
0:38:44sitting next to somebody on the plane
0:38:45who was kind of unfriendly to the
0:38:49stewardess and it's fairly Curt with me
0:38:52and was actually transcribing things off
0:38:56of his phone onto a notepad like we're
0:39:00looking at his phone and then writing it
0:39:01down on a notepad I was like interesting
0:39:04and he's wearing a pole a polo shirt he
0:39:06just sort of looks like a he's one of
0:39:08those people that probably is my age but
0:39:11when I look at him I'm like what's up
0:39:13dad
0:39:13I know I know I know the type yeah and
0:39:16so and and like in the the the flight
0:39:21attendant asks him what he wants to
0:39:23drink and his reaction is what instead
0:39:28of like how many things is she gonna say
0:39:30to you right like be that guy yeah you
0:39:33one nothing when you do that what do you
0:39:35mean what anyway so he keeps working and
0:39:38then I look at him again and I and he
0:39:42said one other sort of Curt one word
0:39:44replied to the stewardess and he hadn't
0:39:47spoken to me in the entire first half of
0:39:49the flight yeah except to kind of be
0:39:52like what when I asked him some question
0:39:54I looked over at him and I was like
0:39:58minute and I said are you Dutch
0:40:03he's a Dutch and he turned and he said
0:40:07what's no he turned excited eyes wide
0:40:10open he was like yes how can you tell
0:40:15how can I tell
0:40:17wow you're beautiful and then he
0:40:20immediately could not stop talking and
0:40:23talk to me for the entire rest of the
0:40:25flight we talked about the political
0:40:27situation in every single country in
0:40:29Europe we talked about brexit we talked
0:40:33about and his opinions of brexit from
0:40:35top to bottom we talked about Trump from
0:40:38top to toe just opened right up because
0:40:40less I write nice I recognized him as
0:40:42Dutch and it was it's just a little
0:40:44something in his accent and then it all
0:40:46came together I was like wow no wait a
0:40:48minute it's all fits
0:40:49of course he's done and he lives on the
0:40:53coast he lives on in the coast in a town
0:40:55that I've been to so we had all this
0:40:57stuff in common
0:40:58it's Dutch the place where you were in
0:40:59the sand that's in the place where I was
0:41:01in the sand yeah I'm pret in fact I was
0:41:03a gravy boat of suffering yeah and I was
0:41:07probably three miles from his house and
0:41:10I'll be hornswoggled what are the
0:41:11choices I didn't bring that story up to
0:41:14him because it's always weird when
0:41:16somebody especially from Europe is like
0:41:18oh yeah I live outside of Castle and I'm
0:41:21like I've been to your town and they go
0:41:23really I'm like yeah well you know I was
0:41:26passing through I leave it at that
0:41:29because because if you're just meeting
0:41:31somebody and you say yeah I walked
0:41:34through your town on the way to Istanbul
0:41:36it's sort of like you set up you pull up
0:41:40next to somebody at a bar and you know
0:41:43how you're going and the bartender says
0:41:45you know what would you like and you
0:41:47order some really really complicated
0:41:50uncool drink and then you turn to the
0:41:54person next year and like so woody
0:41:55what's going on it's just like no you're
0:41:57not gonna he turned to the guy next to
0:41:58you he's got a boilermaker when you give
0:42:00you give one of those pregnant kind of
0:42:03remarks that is basically begging people
0:42:05to ask you questions about what he just
0:42:07said it reminds me the second time I
0:42:09sold a sword and Danai
0:42:11oh really okay yeah yeah I just swords
0:42:14and Vietnam what No
0:42:16so anyway I usually say to people oh
0:42:18yeah I was just passing through you know
0:42:19I was a tourist and I was on my way
0:42:20somewhere else they're like no anyway I
0:42:22don't work that's that's your version of
0:42:24like I'm a ceramicist right we'll just
0:42:27lay this down this is fine if you want
0:42:29ask more questions you can ask more
0:42:30questions but I'm you are not on the
0:42:31hook to ask me about sleeping on a beach
0:42:33yeah that's right and we are not gonna
0:42:35go there normally because most people do
0:42:37not follow up right most people are just
0:42:39like oh right well anyway more about me
0:42:41and I was there I enjoyed this guy and
0:42:44he was very he was very very Dutch he
0:42:47was an executive at a at a company that
0:42:49you would recognize the name on
0:42:52international multinational company
0:42:54Philips something like that although
0:42:57headquartered not in the Netherlands
0:42:59like rare's it's a the rarest occasion
0:43:02where a multinational company with a
0:43:04Dutch executive Gordon chakra I think of
0:43:07Dutch companies I know well but this was
0:43:09an American company they just had a see
0:43:12he took him he turned it okay yeah he
0:43:14took be turned it right it's not LG or
0:43:16whatever it's like another thing and and
0:43:21he had been trapped in San Francisco by
0:43:24the fires because 80 flights got
0:43:26canceled right and he was only flying to
0:43:28Seattle with me in order to get on
0:43:30another flight to Schiphol Airport in
0:43:32Amsterdam the following day so he wasn't
0:43:35coming he was like oh yeah Seattle's a
0:43:37nice city but I'm I'm just I'm laying
0:43:40over baby mm-hmm
0:43:41anyway it was very it was very enjoyable
0:43:44to interact with him but I did have the
0:43:48one two swords in Danang moments where
0:43:55because I had of course developed a good
0:43:58rapport with the flight attendant
0:44:00because when she said what would you
0:44:04like to drink sir I said well I better
0:44:08not have another ginger ale because I've
0:44:10already had two and that's my limit or
0:44:12whatever money whatever kind of dad
0:44:15thing my dad would say that I say what
0:44:17did I just eat Jack you late without
0:44:18even hearing myself
0:44:21to try I don't even remember what it was
0:44:23just fall out of you it was something
0:44:25like that it was like what a string I
0:44:29don't know what would you recommend
0:44:34what's the house special here crazy can
0:44:46I give you an extra bag of peanut but
0:44:49she said something to me at one point
0:44:50and I said oh well you know I travel
0:44:52without luggage so it won't be a problem
0:44:55for me oh you you're like yeah I don't
0:44:57know a TV guy yeah but I but the rare
0:45:00occasion where you can be the I don't
0:45:02own luggage guy and I even as I said it
0:45:06I realized oh this is two swords and
0:45:08done hmm but and they both looked at me
0:45:11he turned and looked at me and she
0:45:13looked at me but but again neither one
0:45:16followed up on that and I didn't press
0:45:20the issue I just sort of looked away and
0:45:22was like wow wow I just I just I just
0:45:26dropped that little bit of science on
0:45:28them but then when it was time to get up
0:45:29and get off the plane I stood up and it
0:45:32was I mean I didn't make it gesture like
0:45:34you know like wiping my hands off see
0:45:38you later
0:45:39but I did you know I just stood up and
0:45:41walked off the plane what are you gonna
0:45:42do nothing holding you down no I could
0:45:45go down me if they plane had crashed I
0:45:47could have gone right out the emergency
0:45:49exit then right on the raft you what you
0:45:52wouldn't hesitate because your windows
0:45:54laptop is in the overhead no nothing
0:45:57nothing a phone charger I had a phone
0:46:00charger in the pocket of my blazer okay
0:46:02I did do that I did have one thing did
0:46:05you get a toothbrush at the hotel Bijou
0:46:07the hotel because you provided a
0:46:09toothbrush nice some other things but
0:46:12you know toothbrush like a cheap one
0:46:13wrapped in a piece of plastic that's all
0:46:14you need is brush you know the hotel
0:46:16please you when I walked in the door
0:46:18there was a section of the carpet
0:46:21that had been so I don't know I don't
0:46:25even know what it was probably a blood
0:46:27stain but what they done was they just
0:46:29cut it out they just cut a square out of
0:46:31the carpet and put another piece of
0:46:33carpet in there
0:46:34but that but the new carpet was a darker
0:46:37shade than the old carpet because the
0:46:39old carpet was either it impossible to
0:46:41match or had faded so much maybe they
0:46:44stopped making it they stopped making
0:46:46that ma'am that's right and I walked in
0:46:49and I looked at the room and it was
0:46:51clean and it was nice and the bed look
0:46:54nice oh you're talking about you got us
0:46:55you had a fresh square carpeting in your
0:46:57in your hotel room on the floor of my
0:46:59hotel ooh
0:47:00well but I think it was Lobby or
0:47:02something so it's not a where spot it's
0:47:07like it's like somebody yeah she's like
0:47:09down here it's like somebody cleaned a
0:47:11salmon in there I looked at the bed I
0:47:19checked the bed it was it was nice it
0:47:21was clean it was newish I called down to
0:47:25the front desk and said I need some non
0:47:27feather pillows and they scrambled they
0:47:31said they didn't have any but I have the
0:47:34feeling that the the service was good
0:47:36enough there that I that some but
0:47:37manager might have gone over to two
0:47:40coals and bought two because eventually
0:47:43someone came upstairs with two fresh
0:47:47foam pillows and I and I realized in the
0:47:52last several years most of the hotel
0:47:54rooms I stay and have been paid for by
0:47:56someone else who's like come to the
0:47:59thing and here's your hotel and so those
0:48:03hotels are of a class that I normally
0:48:05wouldn't book for myself where I walk in
0:48:08and I'm like oh la la
0:48:10you know like ring ring Garcon bring me
0:48:13a steak sandwich it's not a place where
0:48:14you could ask for just a bucket of ice
0:48:16and they would bring it to you and they
0:48:17wouldn't groan right right or like what
0:48:20we're like where I say you know what I
0:48:22don't like everything would you change
0:48:24it and they're like of course Wow so I
0:48:27walked into this place and I realized oh
0:48:30this is actually the class of hotel room
0:48:34that I am uses your class yeah this is
0:48:38not a hotel room that someone would buy
0:48:42for me because they wouldn't they
0:48:44wouldn't say like oh let's get him one
0:48:46in Union
0:48:47Square quote unquote they would say oh
0:48:50we have to put him up somewhere you know
0:48:52we have to put him up at the hotel
0:48:53kabuki and so I was i I kind of felt
0:49:00great I there was a feeling washed over
0:49:03me of like yes this is for 20 years this
0:49:07was the hotel that I stayed in and it
0:49:12felt like coming home and so I sat there
0:49:15and I listened to the people screaming
0:49:17in the street and I looked at my little
0:49:18patch of carpet and you know what it did
0:49:22have was a bathroom that had not been
0:49:24restored where the bathtub was taken out
0:49:27and replaced with a stand-up fucking
0:49:29shower it still had the bathtub with the
0:49:32tile around it
0:49:33it was like it still had wind Oh Merlin
0:49:37it was on the sixth floor Linga stood
0:49:38open windows open dog oh my god all the
0:49:42way I opened him all the way out I
0:49:44leaned out I could have smoked a
0:49:45cigarette there was a fire escape like
0:49:50look at the pictures of this place it's
0:49:52a it's a hell of a place it felt like
0:49:54coming home that's a good feeling it's
0:49:56just pure John you didn't have any any
0:49:58hindrances you just see right you got in
0:50:00you got out I hung up my blazer on a
0:50:02hook and then in the morning and I hung
0:50:06up my tie on a hook and then in the
0:50:07morning I got up I put the Blazer back
0:50:09on and didn't even have to put the tie
0:50:12back on good for you man and went out
0:50:15into the world just like just like Willy
0:50:17Loman you wear every part of the Buffalo
0:50:19yeah yeah fucking yeah so good how'd
0:50:23your gig go Oh a gig was great you know
0:50:26it's lit quake down there right now oh
0:50:28is that right having a set of my cards
0:50:33there was a time I think you remember
0:50:35several several years ago where I made
0:50:38the commitment to myself to begin to
0:50:43think of at least the West Coast as
0:50:46essentially one contiguous urban area
0:50:51like one long urban corridor right yeah
0:50:54so if somebody in Portland said hey
0:50:56we're having a literary festival will
0:50:58you come down
0:50:59I would never say that's like two hour
0:51:03drive I just said yes mm-hmm and when
0:51:06someone in San Francisco said will you
0:51:08come emcee the World Series of poetry at
0:51:11lit quake I said yeah it's an
0:51:14hour-and-a-half flight that cost 150
0:51:17dollars yes I and if someone said I'm
0:51:21your girlfriend and I live in LA will
0:51:22you come down here 14 times a month it's
0:51:25right on the corridor I would say yes of
0:51:27course I will it's a two-hour flight it
0:51:29costs a hundred and sixty dollars huh
0:51:31and so I got in this habit well hang on
0:51:35so Seattle to LA Seattle San Francisco
0:51:38you those are both those are both
0:51:40virginal they are they're Alaska
0:51:43Airlines but you're still you're still
0:51:45mobbed up with United right uh Delta I
0:51:48will not go on United I wouldn't take
0:51:50United if my city was on fire and I
0:51:52haven't get out I wouldn't go on United
0:51:54strat recruit free flight out of town
0:51:56United nope nobody nope nope no I mean
0:52:00I'm agnostic about American Airlines and
0:52:02I like virgin but you know virgin was
0:52:04purchased by Alaska yeah but we're still
0:52:06in the in the in the period where it's
0:52:08still it's still its own thing we
0:52:10flipped the summer it was terrific
0:52:11okay look more you get one of those big
0:52:13chairs with with with room in front of
0:52:14you and I decide airline John I'm really
0:52:17gonna miss that airline you know I went
0:52:19to an event with Richard Branson earlier
0:52:21this year me too which one did you go to
0:52:26he was dick he was doing his Richard
0:52:31Branson thing where he loon he arrives
0:52:35at a balloon he for whatever reason he
0:52:37travels well I don't know I mean I when
0:52:39I say for whatever reason I know what
0:52:41the reason is he travels everywhere with
0:52:44eight stewardesses dressed in 1960s
0:52:48stewardess outfits like super tight
0:52:50pencil skirts and pillbox hat squad
0:52:53goalie who just roll into a venue before
0:52:56he gets there and just situate
0:52:58themselves around the room and then then
0:53:00he comes and I don't hate that idea
0:53:03Wow geez but then he sat up on the stage
0:53:06and had the kind of temerity to talk
0:53:09about how many well yeah yeah and how
0:53:14men in business need to get hip to
0:53:16feminism and if promote women in there's
0:53:25a cognitive disconnect because none of
0:53:26these none of these air hostesses are
0:53:29older than 26 years old they were not
0:53:39chosen for their like superhuman ability
0:53:42to serve drinks fast no I'll tell you
0:53:44that right but so I met this man
0:53:46actually I met a nice air hostess and we
0:53:48had a wonderful time chatting she was
0:53:51talking to the air hostess it's a joy of
0:53:53my life and she said actually as I
0:53:56quizzed her that her job was exclusively
0:54:00to air hostess on Richard Branson's jet
0:54:04when he flies around the world huh so I
0:54:07follow her on Instagram now and her
0:54:09Instagram posts are just like Here I am
0:54:11by the pool of Dubai Here I am by the
0:54:12tool in Johannesburg Here I am by
0:54:14anywhere Richard Branson goes he carries
0:54:16the this full complement of like 60s
0:54:21attired
0:54:22air hostesses five wouldn't be enough no
0:54:24no no no sometimes I bet it's 14 of I
0:54:26wonder if they know kung fu I wonder if
0:54:28they each have like a special martial
0:54:30arts skill this gal definitely knows
0:54:32kung fu or is able to pick locks or can
0:54:35throw a knife oh she could be like the
0:54:37bomb guy I bet she I bet she no no no
0:54:40the bomb guy would have a British act
0:54:42did have a British accent wait a minute
0:54:44oh my gosh accent oh man they all
0:54:48British accents are from British when I
0:54:50talk to the air hostess let's get
0:54:52something straight
0:54:53first of all well second of all yes I
0:54:56wanted to be I want to be liked to be
0:54:59liked by everyone the first thing with
0:55:01the air hostess is though I want to let
0:55:04them know I'm not gonna be a problem
0:55:05that's right I'm out of my way to make
0:55:08sure you know I'm not gonna be like
0:55:10Dutch right I'm an I'm a nice guy but
0:55:12I'm not a creep right and I mean this is
0:55:15any kind of host or hostess but really
0:55:17what
0:55:17I go in there it's like a soup nazi
0:55:19thing where I'm just like I just want
0:55:20you to know I am I am NOT gonna be a
0:55:23problem I'm gonna be grateful I'm gonna
0:55:25kind of and be quiet I'm not gonna ask
0:55:27for extraordinary things and if there's
0:55:29a pinch you can count on me I got your
0:55:30back yeah that's right that's right I
0:55:32will help you and I hope my hope I hope
0:55:34that does make you like me but like the
0:55:36first of all first things first you know
0:55:37eat your brain like I want you to know I
0:55:39am NOT gonna be a problem here right
0:55:41you're Merlin man you don't think she's
0:55:43just a weight that's very good is that
0:55:50right there's a new alive alive
0:55:52replacements record from eighty five or
0:55:57six no they're good it sounds good I saw
0:56:01them in 1987 and it was that's when they
0:56:06will just be drunk in public a lot yeah
0:56:08I was terrible and in fact at the end of
0:56:10the show little brother mm-hmm the last
0:56:15thing he said into the microphone was he
0:56:17quoted Johnny Rotten at the final Sex
0:56:20Pistols show at the Cow Palace or
0:56:22whatever when he said into the
0:56:24microphone Gemma feel like you've been
0:56:26cheated hmm because the show was so
0:56:30awful and he said that into the mic
0:56:33which was uh he was you know he was
0:56:35referencing another shitty band as
0:56:38levels to it yeah where he was just like
0:56:41yeah if you ever feel like you've been
0:56:42cheated but he said it in his
0:56:43Minneapolis there's a good there's a
0:56:44good nickname for you though his his
0:56:46older brother was known as smokin Bob or
0:56:50smoking and drinking Bob smoking and
0:56:52smoking Bob smoking Bob is a pretty cool
0:56:55nickname it is problems he had a lot a
0:57:00lot a lot of things going on smoking but
0:57:02yeah I I thought you were gonna say
0:57:04cheater cheaters would be a killer
0:57:07nickname cheater
0:57:09what's up cheater cheater who is the guy
0:57:12your guys Skeeter Skeeter yeah Skeeter
0:57:15Skeeter died but cheater cheater our
0:57:18local our local guy think my adoptive
0:57:20local guys having a real rough patch
0:57:22right now yeah see ya hit bottom bumping
0:57:25along yeah yeah yeah you know we got on
0:57:27the train for our daddy-daughter
0:57:29afternoon we do on the weekends
0:57:30and and our local guy was on there and
0:57:33he had to they had to throw him off the
0:57:35train Oh No yeah yeah well here's the
0:57:38problem from like I say his name he's my
0:57:40guy so here's the deal if there's
0:57:41somebody in your area you adopt them and
0:57:43that means every time you see them you
0:57:44give them a certain amount of money
0:57:45every time I see him I give him 20 bucks
0:57:46I know it's not helping but it's helping
0:57:48a little bit but like that'll make his
0:57:50life a little less whatever it is for
0:57:52like a little while I know email John
0:57:54but he's my guy and we know each other
0:57:57not for a long time he was
0:57:59confrontational and violent like at the
0:58:01time when my daughter was a baby he was
0:58:04real scary and I was super sensitive to
0:58:06his scariness and we had lots of yelling
0:58:08matches I've seen this guy the guy with
0:58:10the beard yeah we went out one time we
0:58:13were going to your local Taco Bell
0:58:15Kentucky Fried Chicken yeah we were not
0:58:18going in there because I wouldn't let
0:58:19you we were walking up to the dirty
0:58:21hands dim sum place but we had a
0:58:23confrontation was my second by the ATM
0:58:25right he was sleeping by the ATM and
0:58:27there was a little bit of like yeah and
0:58:30he gave him a little bar oh yeah well so
0:58:33then things got better he got something
0:58:35happened he got picked up cleaned up
0:58:37medicated and the heartbreaking part is
0:58:39like we would have conversations the
0:58:41heartbreaking to me as this dumb white
0:58:43guy with a house but like we would me
0:58:44and the dude would talk and he was funny
0:58:46it has sense of humor and seemed a
0:58:47little bit maybe even kind of literate
0:58:49like like maybe like he had been a
0:58:51professor or something like he was fun
0:58:53to talk to
0:58:54right it's just one of those things were
0:58:56like you don't see him for a while and
0:58:57you go like is this it you know right
0:59:00did he not make it now he was on the
0:59:03train yesterday being pretty rough and
0:59:05confrontational and they dropped some
0:59:07f-bombs and you know my daughter and I
0:59:10you know you just kind of ignore it
0:59:11because we're gonna do you're on a train
0:59:13and I just turned her I said yeah Nima
0:59:16guys having a rough day yeah
0:59:18I'm not sure why I'm saying this but it
0:59:19made me sad yeah that is that is sad I
0:59:23mean my mom adopts people who are
0:59:27struggling and does the same thing but
0:59:29but also like tries to get them in touch
0:59:33with their families and tries to find
0:59:36them housing and so forth and she will
0:59:40have you know she has a kind of string
0:59:42of these guys that she
0:59:44is sort of caring for in the course of
0:59:47her daily and she brought people home oh
0:59:49yeah okay oh yeah I thought I remembered
0:59:52that you know she you know bottom plane
0:59:54tickets like really trying to help
0:59:57people and she'll lose them she'll lose
0:59:58one every once awhile
0:59:58one every once awhile
1:00:00really die or they spin out or you know
1:00:03or they go from clean with a job and an
1:00:07apartment through a process through a
1:00:11whole process of like getting them on
1:00:12medication getting them back into the
1:00:14world clean job and apartment all the
1:00:17way back down to sitting in front of the
1:00:20supermarket insensible doesn't recognize
1:00:24people who've never been through a bad
1:00:27thing I know everybody feels like
1:00:28they've been through super bad things
1:00:29but you look at that you go oh that poor
1:00:31person they're always gonna be on this
1:00:32you know one step away from everything
1:00:34falling apart but I mean if there's
1:00:36anything that we learn from Trading
1:00:37Places one of the great movies I think
1:00:39it's important to realize that like well
1:00:40you know maybe you just haven't fallen
1:00:42hard enough yet to now be vulnerable to
1:00:45future Falls yeah do you know what I
1:00:47mean well and everything about mental
1:00:49illness is that there's no there's just
1:00:52a lot of mental illness that there isn't
1:00:54there's no cure you know there's just
1:00:58there's just monitoring and there's like
1:01:03monitoring management amelioration I
1:01:05mean we should get Richard Branson on
1:01:08this oh well the thing about Richard
1:01:11Branson there's also where he back to
1:01:12Sunday but go ahead uh it was very
1:01:14interesting in this in the course of
1:01:15this talk where he was where he was
1:01:17saying he was chastising everyone in the
1:01:19room for not paying women the same that
1:01:22he was paying these air hostesses
1:01:28followed followed him everywhere and
1:01:30when he decided to go waterskiing they
1:01:32all like tried to see how many of them
1:01:34could get up on his shoulders and that's
1:01:36fun that's like the like the go-go's
1:01:38cover the go-go's Rick it's all I ever
1:01:40wanted at one point he digressed because
1:01:45he's a very he's a very good dose or
1:01:47he's not somebody that's gonna stick to
1:01:49the script you know what I'm saying he
1:01:51said yeah well you know Alaska Airlines
1:01:53bought Virgin America from me earlier
1:01:57this year for an undisclosed sum large
1:02:00sum but they when they were negotiating
1:02:03with me they promised that they were
1:02:05gonna keep it virgin they were gonna
1:02:08keep Virgin Airlines alive of all the
1:02:10brands out there maybe even arguably
1:02:12more than
1:02:12see like a United buying a JetBlue and
1:02:15turning it into basically like United
1:02:16but especially with virgin the brand
1:02:18equity in that is just bananas the
1:02:20well-earned brand equity I have to say
1:02:22and he said the same thing he was like
1:02:24as soon as they completed the purchase
1:02:26they were like oh sorry we lied we're
1:02:28turning it all into Alaska sites and he
1:02:30said she's nuts and Alaska's bad I would
1:02:33put Alaska like probably right under
1:02:35JetBlue which is right after virgin I've
1:02:38had a lot of really good experiences
1:02:40back in the day you could upgrade to
1:02:42first class for 50 bucks do you remember
1:02:44that yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean I was I
1:02:48was in Alaska never a like a gold member
1:02:51but I was an MVP until until Jason fin
1:02:55got involved and told me that I needed
1:02:56to be on Delta because Alaska didn't go
1:02:58to to Bahrain for the long game
1:03:07apparently that's not leonid brezhnev on
1:03:09the tail no no no in fact I remember as
1:03:12a kid Alaska Airlines the tails of
1:03:15Alaska planes had like ten different
1:03:17little things there was a totem pole
1:03:19there was a little the little girl there
1:03:22was a there was a lady there were there
1:03:25was an eagle or whatever they're really
1:03:27different things that were evocative of
1:03:30Alaska it was all the problem is that
1:03:36does not read as a hood no it doesn't
1:03:38the whole thing does not translate to a
1:03:40young Maudie
1:03:42it looks like Brezhnev as the MGM lion
1:03:45it's sort of like what happened to
1:03:46Colonel Sanders he's become a thing
1:03:48where you don't even recognize who that
1:03:50he used to actually be a dude yeah but
1:03:53in the 70s Alaska livery was very
1:03:57evocative and I think he I think that
1:03:59man in the hood had not been car tuned
1:04:01to the degree he is now okay and you
1:04:04could see that he was in a parka oh but
1:04:07seeing you know this is cool okay I'm
1:04:09looking at an Alaska Alaska's signage in
1:04:11the 70s was much more to be honest much
1:04:14more American I'm looking there looks
1:04:16like they've got a Helvetica ish
1:04:17typeface I see a hysto Nepal was that
1:04:20the right word for that were we allowed
1:04:21to say that yes we are okay and it's got
1:04:23Brezhnev it's got some kind of a tower
1:04:25it's got a minor KY I got with the
1:04:27pickaxe there's a minor guide there was
1:04:29a little there was a little girl in
1:04:30there somewhere the minor oh the minor I
1:04:32loved the minor was kept a thousand-yard
1:04:34minor stair yeah he does but so Branson
1:04:39says in his way where he's like look I
1:04:42don't want to toot my own horn help
1:04:44though that is 92% of what I do yeah
1:04:47toot my own horn but he said virgin is
1:04:49the is one of the great brands what was
1:04:51Alaska thinking and then he does a big
1:04:55comical shrug and he goes well you know
1:04:57that's business and we're all meant to
1:05:01be like wow he's really wise Wow he just
1:05:04Ted talked to the shit out of us I'm
1:05:06gonna go pay my female executives the
1:05:08same I pay my mailings are there other
1:05:14so was this an unusual thing for for
1:05:18whatever reason you mixed up a Sunday in
1:05:20a Monday is that an unusual thing for
1:05:22are there other days of the week that
1:05:23you will occasionally mix up with any
1:05:25regularity there is very little
1:05:28difference in my life between a Sunday
1:05:31and Monday see okay this is the thing
1:05:33that I don't understand it's like you do
1:05:35kid things yeah and like yeah my life is
1:05:38entirely described by the five day
1:05:41school week pretty much a six in the
1:05:44morning today to take to get to get baby
1:05:47ready for school huh but here's the
1:05:50thing because I have an unconventional
1:05:53family relationship both with my mother
1:05:56and my daughter's mother there is on any
1:06:01given day I might be getting up at 6:00
1:06:05to get baby ready for school I might be
1:06:08not doing that I might be the one that
1:06:12picks baby up from school I might be the
1:06:15one that goes to school because there's
1:06:17a field trip that day and and there's a
1:06:19parent that needs to go along with the
1:06:21field trip or I might be left completely
1:06:24alone and no one has no one asks
1:06:27anything of me or I might have a meeting
1:06:31that day at any hour from 8 a.m. to 8
1:06:37p.m. that I have to go
1:06:39do like it's all everything comes out of
1:06:43a blunderbuss mm-hmm like I have a
1:06:46blunderbuss calendar and we all just
1:06:50work around each other because her mom
1:06:53travels for work her mom has things to
1:06:55do after work mom wants time alone to
1:06:58clean up her house and get her life back
1:07:00in order her mom has all kinds of you
1:07:02know normal human needs - yes
1:07:05and my mom also is like right in the mix
1:07:08because she gets up at 4:30 in the
1:07:12morning so like 7 a.m. she's raring to
1:07:15go mm-hmm if I would get up at 7 a.m. my
1:07:19mom and I would get so much done before
1:07:21noon like that's her dream son right who
1:07:24gets up at 7 and it's like already
1:07:26digging a hole by 7:45 that's I've done
1:07:34that at times different times where a
1:07:37variety different circumstances have
1:07:39made it smart for me to get up super
1:07:40early and it is incredible and you do
1:07:43get so much done before sunrise but it's
1:07:46also a lifestyle - 12 - what your mother
1:07:50is not only committed but like that that
1:07:52is her preferred lifestyle obviously
1:07:53that is her preferred lifestyle that's
1:07:55right she wants she wants a house that
1:07:57looks East because she likes to sit in
1:07:59the morning already halfway through the
1:08:01newspaper and watch the Sun come up
1:08:04anyway so this also this sort of like
1:08:10randomness also continues on to the
1:08:13weekends so there are Sundays where I
1:08:16might get up in the middle of them you
1:08:18know I might get up at the crack of dawn
1:08:19to go have to do something because of
1:08:22the flying everywhere for the show
1:08:24business so all by way of saying that
1:08:30there is no clear pattern in the course
1:08:34of a week and when when my kid was very
1:08:37little I was talking to her pediatrician
1:08:41I mean she was little like a little just
1:08:43a little pupae uh-huh
1:08:45starting to her pediatrician and I said
1:08:48here's the thing my life is is like
1:08:53coming out of a blunderbuss and I have
1:08:56sucked
1:08:56everyone in my larger orbit into a world
1:08:59where my thing is accommodated what is
1:09:05gonna happen with baby and she said
1:09:09children really love a dependable
1:09:13reliable schedule where everything
1:09:17happens the same everyday they want to
1:09:19get up at the same time they don't they
1:09:21don't know they want it they don't know
1:09:22they want it but they want it they don't
1:09:24know they want it but they want it they
1:09:26want to have dinner at the same time
1:09:27every day they want you know to do
1:09:30homework at the same time every night
1:09:32and I was there and I and I I thought
1:09:35about it as I was talking to her and I'm
1:09:38I'm taking it all and I'm thinking hard
1:09:41on this and I did that thing that I do
1:09:45which which people of our generation can
1:09:50do which is think back to all the people
1:09:54we knew who came home to a house where
1:09:58the dad was an alcoholic who sat in his
1:10:00in his chair in the living room like
1:10:04with steam coming off the top of his
1:10:06head and all the moms that that ash
1:10:11cigarettes on their kids and had him go
1:10:14get whatever get him another get him
1:10:16another 7up out of the fridge while they
1:10:18watch their shows and all the one all
1:10:22the kids who got you know who one parent
1:10:24died and they went to live with their
1:10:25aunt and I thought yes kids want to have
1:10:32dinner at the same time every night and
1:10:35that is not a thing that my child is
1:10:39gonna be she's just not gonna have that
1:10:41option because it isn't because it would
1:10:43require that I stopped doing what I do
1:10:47and I can't do that and it doesn't
1:10:51benefit her that I do that it's it's
1:10:54it's there's things we're like yeah I
1:10:56mean I imagine you have to ask at some
1:10:58point like do I have
1:10:59to do all of these things do these
1:11:00things all have to be this way like all
1:11:02the time it's like cuz that's not
1:11:03tenable and anybody who thinks it's
1:11:05against this you're teeing up this thing
1:11:07that at least I know I suffer from all
1:11:09the time which is the like I'm terrible
1:11:11at this I'm you know but you're teeing
1:11:12that up you're you're creating the
1:11:14condition in which you've already set
1:11:16yourself up for failure by thinking that
1:11:17like there's no way I can save this yeah
1:11:19right and so I was just like I took my
1:11:22pediatricians hand and said or her
1:11:25pediatricians hand I don't anymore have
1:11:27a pediatrician good for you uh-huh thank
1:11:29you
1:11:31but my pediatrician sat me down at one
1:11:33point my dad obviously said to him like
1:11:35will you talk to him about the birds and
1:11:37the bees because I tried to get him to
1:11:39go to a brothel and he wouldn't so would
1:11:42you tell him about it and the
1:11:44pediatrician who was like boy talk about
1:11:45swords in Danang what's something else
1:11:48he was like John give any questions and
1:11:52I was like no sir he was like I'm glad
1:11:55we had this talk son hey he looked like
1:11:57Norman Rockwell if Norman Rockwell had
1:11:59been putting in my cards again that's
1:12:00terrific look but yeah so when I wake up
1:12:04in the morning it's anybody's guess and
1:12:06I don't usually think that I'm gonna
1:12:10record Roderick on the line on Sunday
1:12:11morning but I don't it's not out of the
1:12:16realm of possibility right right I just
1:12:20you know there's some people like some
1:12:22people have a sense of direction I think
1:12:24probably you you have this I know my
1:12:25wife has this there are some people so
1:12:27like I see people who have a sense of
1:12:29direction or I experience people with a
1:12:30sense of direction and it might as well
1:12:32be like a magic skill to me
1:12:34we're like like you could just spin them
1:12:36around and they're just gonna know which
1:12:37way to go intuitively I've seen you have
1:12:39this you just show up somewhere and you
1:12:41have some intuitive sense of how to get
1:12:42from here to there did I find absolutely
1:12:45magical I have something much less
1:12:47useful which is I can't stop thinking
1:12:49about what time it is and what day it is
1:12:50it which it's not it's not useful it's
1:12:53not cool it's not really helping anybody
1:12:55but like you mixing up a Sunday in a
1:12:57Monday I'm not criticizing but you
1:12:59making up a something in a Monday to me
1:13:01is on the level of like how would you
1:13:03not know how to walk one block to your
1:13:05house like I am constantly it's it's is
1:13:08it is a source of stress in our house
1:13:10that you know you wake up and you say
1:13:11what's the uniform of the day
1:13:13right I wake up and I start walking
1:13:15around the house and talking about what
1:13:16day of the week it is and what that
1:13:17means is that's someone's family meeting
1:13:27and then somebody else says stand by I
1:13:29mean y'all gather together if that's a
1:13:31Howl's Moving Castle joke and so anyway
1:13:33family meeting stand by but usually I
1:13:34don't want to upset the the progress the
1:13:36usually very slow progress because I'm
1:13:38obsessed about what time it is and I
1:13:39start walking around say good morning
1:13:40it's Monday Monday tonight we have we
1:13:45have to pick up at four o'clock and what
1:13:47would everyone like for dinner and
1:13:48they're like very busy trying to get out
1:13:49of the house and I'm walking around
1:13:50trying to talk about what day and time
1:13:51it isn't like the principal you're the
1:13:54principal of your high school
1:13:55announcements but it's a little bit like
1:13:58you know I don't I think I'd prefer to
1:14:00be cremated but if someone to bury me
1:14:03you could probably put its 7:21 on my
1:14:06tombstone
1:14:07because I'm the walking talking angry
1:14:10morning clock he's constantly reminding
1:14:11everybody and then whatever else is like
1:14:137:21 that's I feel completely crazy cuz
1:14:18I'm like you know there's clocks my
1:14:20daughter's wearing a Fitbit
1:14:21there's clocks all over the house how do
1:14:23you not know yes it is already seven 21
1:14:26and then then Sisyphean Pyrrhic Lee at a
1:14:29Pyrrhic Sisyphean every morning I walk
1:14:31around that I keep saying at 7:21 and
1:14:33everybody's mad at me cuz I'm Johnny
1:14:35clock mouth so that's my I mean I think
1:14:39this is one of those things though where
1:14:40people have these different sorts of
1:14:42things where you can't imagine the rest
1:14:44of the world not being the way that you
1:14:46are about something well you story your
1:14:49story of traveling without a bag I'll
1:14:51bet there's people out there right now
1:14:52that are like like sucking air out of a
1:14:53paper bag because they're so freaked out
1:14:55about the idea of not having three
1:14:56suitcases and every conceivable dongle
1:14:58for the three computers they brought
1:14:59yeah I'm sure that's true
1:15:01my equivalent in this family is that my
1:15:04mother and sister both independently
1:15:06follow the weather like it's a like it's
1:15:12a constant emergency like a constant CNN
1:15:15emergence it's like it's like hurricane
1:15:16CNN hurricane time all the time for them
1:15:19yeah they have they both have I mean my
1:15:23sister has multiple apps
1:15:25if you ask my mom at anytime what the
1:15:29high and low temperature today will be
1:15:31and what the seven-day forecast is she
1:15:34will be able to recite it Wow and also
1:15:38what the highs and lows will be for the
1:15:39seven days my sister knows with the same
1:15:45amount of of granular detail the not
1:15:49just the regional weather but I would
1:15:52say the hemispherical weather like I
1:15:55don't think she knows what's going on in
1:15:57the Bay of Bengal unless there's
1:16:00something exciting going on mm-hmm but
1:16:02she certainly knows American weather and
1:16:04what's at what the highs and lows are in
1:16:06Denver and and well you get the Irish
1:16:08pseudo hurricane happening is there a
1:16:11pseudo hurricane happens it's under it's
1:16:14under hurricane force as we record this
1:16:17I believe but yeah it's this crazy-ass
1:16:19weather system there was lashing because
1:16:22it has to lash yeah it was hitting the
1:16:28Emerald Isle with winds up to 100 miles
1:16:30per hour whoa talk about something
1:16:33you're not ready for talk about an
1:16:34unusual weather event and that's what
1:16:35I'm saying well you know we're about to
1:16:37see we're about to see the whole Gulf
1:16:41Stream or whatever you know the the
1:16:45Atlantic circulation of ocean currents
1:16:50and weather we're about to see it flip
1:16:52it's gonna flip Maryland it's gonna
1:16:54switch around it's gonna flip it's gonna
1:16:56be like when the when the poles switch
1:16:58and all of a sudden South becomes North
1:17:01except the the circulating Geyer is
1:17:04gonna do a flip arou because of the the
1:17:07melting polarizations and magnets well
1:17:12it's not gonna change the magnets but
1:17:14what its gonna do is right now though
1:17:16the cycle comes up the east coast of the
1:17:19United States hits Ireland with some
1:17:22nice warmth that's why that that
1:17:23southern goes to Ireland is it's like
1:17:25almost tropical it's like Fiji
1:17:27it's really nice there's a beachy yeah
1:17:29you don't think of it because it's you
1:17:32don't think of it but there it is right
1:17:34and then it comes then it goes up there
1:17:37and it brings some
1:17:38they're down and then it cycles back
1:17:40down along the east coast or along the
1:17:43west coast of Europe and Africa and then
1:17:45then it does it again spins that
1:17:47direction spins it spins clockwise but
1:17:50they're saying when the cold water
1:17:52that's coming coming down from the poles
1:17:55gets gets extreme enough it's gonna flip
1:17:59the switch oh no and it's gonna make it
1:18:02start cycling counter clock well not set
1:18:05up for that
1:18:06oh we're not it's gonna change
1:18:07everything and what its gonna do is it's
1:18:09gonna make these coasts freakin cold way
1:18:12colder than it is Matt it's that right
1:18:14yeah it's gonna change it all its gonna
1:18:16screw it it's gonna screw the pooch no
1:18:18I'm not liking this at all no it's a
1:18:20pooch screw and who knows what that does
1:18:23to everything else you know what I mean
1:18:24yeah kind of knock-on effects I I don't
1:18:27like these kinds of things I find this
1:18:28very troubling no it's gonna be freaky
1:18:30been my system the thing is when it
1:18:31happens my sister will know all about it
1:18:33a long time before anybody else I don't
1:18:35know why they follow the weather so
1:18:36obsessively I mean growing up in
1:18:38Anchorage it was a thing I guess that
1:18:39you did because the weather could kill
1:18:41you but we haven't lived in Anchorage as
1:18:44a family for a long time and yet they
1:18:48it's just like just like you they not
1:18:51only know it's not that they know what
1:18:53day it is it's that they walk into the
1:18:54house and they're like you know what the
1:18:55seven-day forecast is my mom said to me
1:18:57this morning at 6:30 in the morning she
1:19:01said well I here's what I want you to do
1:19:03today I want you to go outside and do
1:19:06the following things because it's gonna
1:19:07rain for the next seven days oh my god
1:19:09that she's that is some ninja shit that
1:19:12is a superpower did she join together
1:19:15two different realms of her personality
1:19:18razzmatazz to be able to combine her
1:19:21amazing planning ability with her
1:19:23amazing weather ability yep but actually
1:19:26what she said was it's going to start
1:19:28raining either late tonight or early
1:19:30tomorrow giving me this sort of window
1:19:34worth where where it's a little bit of
1:19:36an out because I can say like well if
1:19:39it's you know that probably means it's
1:19:41gonna start raining midday tomorrow yeah
1:19:44and she might have left the or early
1:19:46tomorrow morning as
1:19:48as a potential i-told-you-so well I told
1:19:50you it could have started last night and
1:19:52it did yep yep that's right
1:19:54so that is I mean that's one part of my
1:19:57world where I'm never at a loss for for
1:20:01having outside information right I don't
1:20:03have to go read the newspaper I don't
1:20:04have to step outside I already know what
1:20:06the weather is because it's been and
1:20:08just because you're around people who
1:20:09are constantly telling you what the
1:20:10weather is it does not make you more
1:20:13aware or more desirous of going out and
1:20:15finding out on your own I say this
1:20:16because it's kind of like me being
1:20:18morning morning clock mouth well right I
1:20:21mean but nobody walks around my house
1:20:22saying it's Monday my name and name so I
1:20:27go you know I'll go three days and not
1:20:29know what where I am I don't know how
1:20:32you could not feel that in your bones
1:20:34it's not a criticism again I like a
1:20:38legit like oh my god how am i broken
1:20:40like this why is why am I like this I
1:20:42mean I feel I feel like I feel true
1:20:45north I believe in my bones like oxide
1:20:51magnets in your nose you're like a hawk
1:20:52or a falcon right if you put a blindfold
1:20:55on me and spun me around thirty times I
1:20:57just feel like my nipples would point
1:20:58north what if what if it was air
1:21:00hostesses that did that to you would not
1:21:02be a hell of a thing
1:21:03I would pay first-class prices for in
1:21:06coach ticket fly the friendly skies is
1:21:10Christ oh yeah yeah I caught dick
1:21:16[Music]