Top Four

Top Four 34: Stardew Valley Singles

 

  [Music]

  [Music]

  hi everybody welcome to top four we are

  joined this week by special guests Mike

  Hurley and Alex Cox hi everybody hi

  hello we usually like to podcast with

  couples but we decided to make our own

  couple because this week a podcast is

  about making couples and we're gonna be

  talking about stardew valley singles all

  the single ladies drop right now I can't

  even find that like you think I even

  know whose thing you just type that in

  No anyway oh my goodness so yeah so

  start stardew valley for anybody who

  doesn't know is a game you should play

  it if you have not played it this

  episode might not be very interesting we

  are going to be dropping a tremendous

  spoiler down yeah right here so even for

  the people who are participating in this

  podcast you will be spoiled I'm sure yes

  if you have not played it just go play

  it now it's like 15 bucks it's available

  on every computer platform and the

  Nintendo switch right are there any

  other consoles on PlayStation 4 okay

  there you go so it's available on

  everything unless you're an xbox person

  who doesn't also have a PC or switch or

  anything or an or a Mac or a Linux box

  then I'm sorry you're just too

  specialized but if you have any other

  game you should play this game it's

  amazing it's 15 bucks and there's so

  much it's basically like a like farm

  it's like it's kind of like sim farm

  plus RPG elements where you like build

  stuff on your farm or there's a little

  there's some you know there's games in

  one it's amazing anyway but this place

  the name of the town is Pelican town but

  they are just riddled with singles whom

  you can woo into marriage to get some

  help on your farm those of which you can

  mingle yeah I didn't say they're riddled

  with singles there there are six single

  people of each gender and totally twelve

  total like there's not many people in

  the town

  a lot of people yeah forgiveness isn't a

  dating simulator that's quite a few

  people there's a plethora of options you

  know it's like when I play a Formula One

  game

  I don't bump into a bunch of single

  people with whom you can mingle as do

  you play a lot of Formula one games

  aren't you British like do they even

  have that no I haven't I have literally

  no idea why that came into my mind I

  don't know if I've played a Formula One

  racing game in like ten years but that

  was what came into my head all right so

  I think I want to start this episode to

  introduce our bachelors and

  bachelorettes and in this game you are

  free to pursue any gender you like you

  could do whatever you want because it's

  free for all and everyone's cool

  so all right let us introduce our

  bachelors bachelor number one we have

  Alex the fitness obsessed jock we have

  Elliot who I like to call Fabio the

  long-haired deep thinking novelist I

  have the wiki pedia page up and he's

  just smoldering his eyes at me right now

  all right bye I have a problem with

  Elliot and that I can I can never tell

  who he is

  I always think he's one of the female

  characters every single time every time

  I think that Sevilla is that that's

  that's just he just cuz he has long hair

  doesn't mean he's a woman no but of that

  kind of size I can tell everyone in

  about like a third of people in this

  game have red hair

  yeah there's yeah the diversity is

  pretty not there like yeah like among

  them and we have there's six women three

  of them are redheads one's blonde one

  has blue hair and one has purple hair

  like there's no pair Nets like there's

  like there's there's like one like kind

  of Blacky dark gothy hair anyway we'll

  get today all right all right not the

  most diverse selection

  we're on Ronnie bachelor number three

  Harvey the nerdy germaphobic doctor we

  have Sam the anime haired skater

  musician manchild

  he just jumped right out of Street

  Fighter 2 we have sebastian whom I like

  to call orange the dark and moody emo

  goth and finally for our bachelors we

  round it out with Shane these

  self-loathing drunken slob who loves

  chickens so we have a real winning

  winning set there for the bachelors for

  the bachelorettes

  we have Haley the prissy girly girl we

  have Maru the nerdy scientist

  we have Abigail the rebellious

  adventurous vide video game chick we

  have Leah the sensitive environmental

  artists penny the uptight conservative

  teacher and Emily the new-age Spacey

  fashion designer barmaid we have for the

  bachelorettes there's a better selection

  of people they don't have as much

  extreme quirks but yet they have their

  own personalities so as someone who is

  pursuing a man in the game I'm really

  very disappointed okay

  there's so many better women to pick

  from there really is I don't know how do

  you guys feel okay so I mostly don't

  interact with very many people in this

  game in general just because I really

  was focused I'm like halfway through my

  second year my first year was completely

  focused on building the most optimal

  growing situation possible and they're

  mining for the entire winter yep I

  didn't speak to somebody for the entire

  winter I was mining the whole time so my

  relationships with the individuals in

  study valley is is not high in the

  aggregate and it's mostly because I

  actually find most of the male

  characters to kind of be annoying or

  boring yes yeah the reason I'm saying

  this is because I want you to note if

  that like I can simplify of where you're

  coming from because I mostly stay away

  from the guys because I'm kind of not

  really interested in them well half of

  them tell you to go away like the first

  interaction you have with them they tell

  you to like get out of my face go away

  or they're too busy with like whatever

  they're doing the only guy that I have

  any interest in is line

  because I want to know he's all about

  right and and he's the homeless man who

  lives in a tent and yeah he seems to be

  the nicest one but you can't date him

  not allowed it's a shame and Louis the

  mayor as well he's kind of cool but

  that's it

  Oh Louis has got a thing going on with

  someone else in town it's it's funny how

  like the like as you like the first year

  in game time that I play it through I

  got to know almost nobody and it was it

  was only like in like the winter that I

  started you know TIF is very social with

  everybody tips going around spending

  like two-thirds of every game day like

  keeping everybody like fruit and stuff

  and she knows it everyone likes when

  everyone hates and I'm just like meh I

  don't like I don't know how you have

  time for that well they all end up

  developing so much depth let me tell you

  like as you bust into their little

  shells like you start caring about these

  little digital people and they have like

  ups and downs and little past like

  background stories and ever someone's

  like hot and on someone else and this

  person sleeping yeah oh it's that's deep

  because like if you pay attention you

  can kind of see like oh you know like

  these people are always kind of standing

  together even though they're both

  technically single as far as the game

  concerns like they seem to be into each

  other you know like they're and there's

  and there's certain ones that make it

  apparent to you that they are like the

  whole situation between my blacksmith

  and my crazy blue girlfriend that that

  went that went oh macha but but yeah

  like it is it is tricky though like this

  game has you know like like the rest of

  the game really

  it has a surprising amount of depth in

  the characters and in the writing and

  and their storylines and everything and

  when you first interact with everybody

  you do feel like it's pretty shallow

  like okay this person is a drunk this

  person hangs out here this person likes

  animals you know this person hates

  everything I give them but like for the

  most part almost all these characters do

  develop a lot of depth if you give them

  time it takes a long time for that for

  you to like build up your little

  friendship heart level for remember

  these people to like see their various

  cutscenes and to have them tell you a

  little bit more about themselves and

  have like the little conversation with

  them it all takes time

  and because the way the game is designed

  and because of how much time it takes

  like you're only really getting to know

  a handful of people in town very well

  for most playthroughs I think like I

  actually have some interest in starting

  over in the game at some point in the

  future and just getting to know

  different people maybe joining up with

  Joe Joe instead of doing the community

  center or stuff like that like like like

  there's so much in this game and

  whenever you like make a choice like you

  like you you know Joyner John join Joe

  Joe and I'm like later on like you you

  know the people you talk to them like

  you marry somebody even just like the

  kind of farm you live on like there's so

  many so many like choices that become

  permanent choices in the game where

  there's so much to this game that I feel

  like I'm only seeing like 20 percent of

  it playing through the way I'm playing

  you just don't want fruit bats anymore

  because they're garbage

  yeah through pets suck the mushroom

  boxes are a way better they can play in

  your cave can you imagine how this must

  sound to people who are not playing

  oh yes wild mushroom it was an easy

  choice come on like you come for you

  gets just free foraging I who goes with

  the fruit bats I did yeah because

  Tiffani with the mushrooms and she got

  there before I did so I figured like you

  know we're playing separate games so if

  you're like the choices that she makes

  I'll make different choices so then at

  least because we watch each other play a

  lot so at least then I'll see different

  things that happen in the game but yeah

  fruit bats were there slackers they

  hardly ever have anything in their eye

  so I'm interested then this is is this

  everyone else's first playthrough like

  their first farm yep oh all right do we

  have an experienced player amongst us uh

  well actually I've always been like a

  farm slacker I'm exactly the opposite I

  went straight for the relationships and

  I think it's because I've always enjoyed

  Animal Crossing more than games like The

  Sims or civilization and like I love

  resource management games but this is

  great because you kind of have to

  resource manage your relationships which

  I can't do in real life and this is

  great there's literally a guide online

  to tell you how to date and romance

  these people it is perfect one of the

  things I love most about this I have a

  guy directly to your heart

  like one of the things I love most about

  this game is that it was developed

  entirely by one person like one young

  made this game he made all of the art he

  composed the music all like all the

  programming all the sound effects like

  that's an incredible feat and there's so

  much and the art is excellent the music

  is fantastic like that he wrote of a

  dialogue it's pretty decent

  the gameplay is great like for one

  person to do all this let alone to do to

  do all these things incredibly well is

  really impressive but I do have a little

  bit of concern about how he views

  relationships like it seems it seems

  like you know like I'm not entirely sure

  like you're supposed to make friends by

  like giving them mayonnaise every day

  well apparently that's how you make

  friends

  the rest of us have conversations and

  talk to people I do that too but if you

  don't give them the mayonnaise than the

  NiO you don't really level up with the

  hearts I mean it's just like anyone

  though if you give them lots of presents

  they're gonna like you more like

  conversations the slow road the other

  problem I have with with some of the

  with all the singles really is that it's

  kind of hard to tell like what age we're

  supposed to be yeah some of them are

  very childlike yet we're like you know

  like and some of them still live with

  their parents in town who are different

  characters in town some of them live by

  themselves you know some of them are

  like seemingly more independent some of

  them have fights with their parents as

  if they were teenagers some of them are

  you know totally independent adults like

  it's very Leah had an ex that had called

  her on the phone yeah yeah yeah and I

  have to say in my game because I'm

  playing as a woman she referred to her

  ex as a she so I thought that was pretty

  nice resting mm-hmm I don't know if she

  did that with everybody or if change is

  related to who you're playing as because

  I don't see everyone is into me not not

  everyone's into me now I'm not trying to

  be complaining here Alex and Haley

  alright cuz they're the conceited one

  but I must say I'm pretty popular I'm I

  handed out a lot of bouquets because I

  don't know what to do but oh wow how

  many relationship

  see you in whoa you're getting a round

  TIFF I feel like four people in the

  pocket here I'm ready to go and I've got

  two more coming up so I pursued a you

  know most of the singles I at least

  tried to like start giving them gifts

  and so and like start getting on their

  good side and I got nowhere with almost

  all of them like I only had a chance

  with a few but we'll get to that in a

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  better way to cook yeah so basically I

  want to hear whatever who everyone is

  pursuing and I think then we should do

  instead of the round going around saying

  are one two threes and four is like each

  individually we say them as a as a

  grouping all right here is my full list

  of my top four so who wants I want you

  yeah I want to know who you are going

  after well and so first of all I also

  want to know Alex like so you said you

  know you played this you like you've

  played multiple games of this mm-hmm

  have you have you made different

  relationship choices in each one yes I

  have not gotten divorced yet but that's

  kind of like become a goal for me not

  not in this game children because I

  think you like you let returning to the

  ether or something if you accidentally

  have children you don't want oh my god

  really yeah you can indeed return them I

  don't know if you can if you have

  biological children but if you have a

  queer relationship I believe they just

  can like disappear and then you get the

  resources resources alright so how do

  you want to play it outs do you want to

  say who you buy for the most recent game

  or just jet your general opinions of the

  sum total of all your games um you know

  what how about I start with four down

  and I've romanced all of these people

  but the first person I ever romanced was

  Leah because I felt like the first time

  I played I kind of really got into the

  character of like yeah I'm this loner

  farmer this is a new thing for me and we

  seemed to kind of the same rapport like

  she doesn't really live quite in town

  like everybody else and doesn't have a

  of it when you start off doesn't have a

  ton of interactions with other people

  and then my next game I romanced Harvey

  because he reminded me of myself because

  he's always very anxious and standoffish

  and he's me dude in the game that I

  found appealing in anyway no surprise I

  [Laughter]

  mean we talked a bit about the ages in

  the it's hard to get this until later on

  in the game but in if you go in the wiki

  it specifically says he's one of the

  older bachelors so and you could really

  tell because he's not a man-child and

  he's not complaining about his parents

  or just playing video games in the

  basement I mean Sebastian literally

  plays videogames in basement well but

  anytime you get into Harvey's bedroom

  he's in there like listening to his like

  CB radios and he's like Harvey's busy

  right now he can't talk to you he's so

  preoccupied with his hobbies he was the

  challenge just keeps telling me to cover

  my mouth when I cough like it does seem

  like different people are seemingly like

  programmed to be easier or harder to

  become friends with is that is that true

  or does it just seem that way like do I

  just guess wrong on what they like in my

  opinion it is harder like I feel like

  Harvey Harvey was kind of a challenge

  but my next pick Abigail she's my number

  two and still one of my favorite

  characters like right now I'm not

  currently pursuing her but she's like my

  best friend in the game and she's kind

  of like the I think it's because I'm

  into the show

  Wynonna up right now and like she's this

  cool awesome adventurer and we talked

  about the Mayans and she showed me her

  secret sword which is not an issue for

  anything and she's just cool I also

  there's kind of like some coded language

  of like the mom is concerned about her

  alternative lifestyle and I was like

  wait do you mean her like that we're

  dating or that she's like way too into

  adventuring but

  I my white whale who I have never this I

  think this is the this switch game this

  is the one I'm pursuing Maru who is like

  she is interested in science she built

  robots she's the only one who

  appreciates copper ores which are really

  her father whose super protective he's

  always like don't touch my baby like yes

  right and Demetrius is quite right he's

  quite protective but like I've so I

  found out this you know what this could

  just be in my mind I haven't looked this

  up because I'm trying again

  to like sort of step back and we like

  Marco said it's just so deep and you can

  get really deep in like the wiki's and

  and the tutorial videos and stuff like

  that but like maru's kind of like my

  pure relationship like I found out how

  much you liked batteries and I'm like oh

  my god you are my actual soul mate oh

  wow how do you feel about hdmi cables if

  should be a question for you about

  harvey though for just a sec just a very

  white whale harvey seems to have a thing

  for maru right there's like a thing

  going on there and there's a couple

  people who seem to have things for each

  other like margot brought up earlier so

  i was a little hesitant to break up

  relationships like oh new farmer in town

  here i come gonna break like be a

  homewrecker right III feel a little bit

  bad cuz he's always like oh wow do you

  think marui noticed me or something and

  I'm like I can't I can't I don't know I

  don't know that's like I can't I think

  that's why she's harder and that's why I

  went with Leah initially because I I

  felt like I was an outsider and I wanted

  to bond with someone who was most like

  my character but so far I am only in the

  first year of my current game so I guess

  if you were going to call this top for a

  challenge I failed because I have not

  yet we have not yet become engaged but I

  think we're on the cusp of it I've got

  all of the hearts I'm gonna get a

  bouquet I think today might be the day

  excited new phone new wife great so you

  see you consider so you so you consider

  the D bouquet and engagement not so much

  as a hey let's go hang out

  well there is an engagement period when

  you give them the you know the pendant

  it's just three days

  yes I'm sorry yes the pendant not the

  bouquet okay okay now do you see I sense

  a thing between Leah and Elliot because

  you know Elliot has a piece of Leah's

  art in his in his cabin yes there are we

  standing together yes tables and

  everything I'd like the flower festival

  there like next to each other and then

  hanging out they kind of seem like the

  two cabin people you know they're like

  the mirrors of each other to live in

  that cabin life again I was like ah

  freaking like if there's any two people

  in all of town that would have their own

  little house full of cats it would be

  those two probably I'm like ah you I'm

  just like hang out and watch Netflix and

  play whatever the start I wonder if

  there's like a stardew valley in stardew

  valley like like what do what what

  sebastian playing in his basement is he

  playing like the equivalent of pub G or

  is he like in Demario Odyssey I don't

  think he probably plays that cart game

  there's the minecart game Abigail plays

  a little like running around shooting

  things prairie game Barry King

  adventures Perry she has the fairy king

  home edition her little Super Nintendo

  and in her area that was one of my

  favorite cuts and when she's like

  whenever Gail was like oh he can't help

  me with this game he's totally my BFF in

  the game - I agree when when Morrow's

  like oh can I show you the robot I was

  building I I think I audibly gasped all

  I have to offer you is mayonnaise just

  like it just stops then you start

  hearing Dreamweaver playing right

  here take all the batteries just take

  it's just slow mo and she's like working

  on a robot and you're just like gonna

  hey alright so is that your official do

  what my official top four yeah ed get

  list them out list them out nice and

  clear for Leah

  number three Harvey number two Abigail

  and number one Maru

  there she is alright Mike pretty good

  how are you doing and and and also I'm

  curious like how far you've gotten but

  you can lead up to that if you want

  alright so I'm like halfway through year

  two and I've only spent you two really

  trying to get to know anybody with any

  kind of intent for a relationship

  so basically effectively when Marco and

  TIFF asked me to do this a couple of

  weeks ago like a week ago I've just put

  all of my time into trying to get to a

  relationship status for somebody and

  there were maybe four people that I were

  there were four people that I was like

  thinking about and like starting to have

  conversations with and like trying to

  give gifts to and kind of see what the

  vibe was and I've kind of ranked them in

  the best way that I can so number four

  is Emily I didn't really get very far

  with Emily what I liked about Emily is

  that she has blue hair and works in a

  saloon so that's kind of a little I've

  got which indicates potentially how far

  I got with Emily

  she seemed cool but also I was kind of

  put off by the Clint situation right

  when when he started mentioning that I

  was like I'm gonna back I'm gonna back

  away from this this I want to step on

  any toes because this is the only like

  in my in what I've been doing and what

  I've been playing this is the only kind

  of cold out potential relationship that

  I've come across is is Emily in Clint so

  I kind of left that off to the side then

  I was also like really impressed by Maru

  because she's super smart and techy

  focused but my problem with Maru

  I could never find her yeah I can't find

  so if I'm trying to speed run this

  relationship I could never find her so I

  had to kind of I'm sorry tomorrow if I

  if I can't find you you can't have my

  love you know you can't have this

  mayonnaise at least so then I was kind

  of starting to build relationships with

  Leah and Penny so they were the two

  people that was saying to like out of

  the four they were the last two Kenny's

  a tough nut to crack that's yeah that's

  impressive interesting okay penny is my

  girlfriend we've got we've gotten that

  far and there's a reason for this which

  I'll come to because she's obviously my

  number one I've destroyed top floor

  style so I like Leah I really like Leigh

  her a lot because she is independent and

  she seems strong minded right like I've

  I haven't seen many cutscenes but one of

  the cutscenes I've seen is the time when

  she's on the telephone right and I

  really liked the way that she interacted

  that and then how she speaks to you and

  I like that she wants to put on an art

  show and stuff like that like I like

  that about her she's really cool and I

  was kind of progressing with Leah and

  penny at the same rate until I hit

  Penny's cutscene when she's fighting

  with her mum that one it hit me and

  feels a little bit and I decided that I

  needed to make Penny's life better right

  cuz penny says something about like oh I

  wish I lived in like a big house because

  she lives in the trailer with her mom in

  the town well she said to me I wish I

  lived on a farm tee-hee-hee okay I see I

  see what's going on here but yeah when

  when I saw that like it it kind of made

  me uncomfortable and sad right because

  she's always talking about the fact that

  her mum is a kind of a layabout and a

  drunk right like this kind of what she's

  getting to and I wanted to see if I

  could help her

  so that

  kind of the route that I went down plus

  I like penny because she has a cool job

  in the town right she's a teacher

  and she's also super easy to find so

  that was great or she's under a tree or

  on a bench

  she has like three places and if she's

  not in either of those three places then

  I just go to sleep that day because I

  can't find her anymore I've been going

  to bed at like 11 o'clock in the morning

  because this is my speed running does

  she go to like the little fitness class

  that's in the general store no she

  doesn't

  I always laugh whenever I come it's like

  every time I've forgotten that they are

  all in that back room with the weird

  temple thing and then they're yeah

  they're all just kind of dancing but

  yeah so I'm watching with penny I have

  given penny a bouquet she is my

  girlfriend I have two hearts left to go

  and I assume when I get to the top is

  when is when we can get married so

  that's the route that I'm going down and

  Benny I want to help penny out I've

  already gotten her mom her job back

  that's good that I've reinstalled the

  bus in the town cuz I think that would

  help too

  plus you know I figure you know gotta

  get on the good side of the family if

  I'm gonna eventually ask her to marry me

  so how much better can it be than

  getting a mama a job back so that's good

  because now I can go out on the bus if I

  want to but yeah penny penny is my

  number one

  can I ask you Mike have you reached a

  certain cutscene that I guess I could

  only describe as literally and

  figuratively steamy no all right

  you've uh you've got someone look

  forward to like it would it be like

  should Mike make sure that Adina is not

  there like would that be weird if she

  was she should be there to know if we

  literally and figuratively steamy I

  think I get the clue Alex okay okay I

  think I do too

  oh yeah I'm right now making my way to

  the location

  let's see let's see what if there's

  anything awaiting me I have wondered

  what that place was full Hey

  so yeah my top floor again Emily Maru

  Lia and Penny alright

  TIFF want me to go next word you want to

  know no I I want you to go I want to

  close this one out

  I do I have lots of day and I want

  everyone to say stuff with me so yeah so

  I had a bit of a tough time at the

  beginning figuring out who to even

  pursue because at first I was like oh

  I'll go for robbing the carpenter

  because it would be great to have a

  carpenter as my wife like that would be

  so useful on the farm but no then she's

  married and in general like I find

  myself in a lot of the cut scenes I find

  it not so clear-cut whether I'm siding

  with the parents or the single person a

  lot of the cut scenes it's like kind of

  awkward like I don't really want to be

  involved in this discussion and also if

  you are some kind of weird like adult

  child your parent here is actually right

  and I agree with them but it was very

  hard like to get around that what kind

  of like weird like adult child weird

  split this game seems to be not quite

  making and so and and like as an old

  boring person at a parent now I did a

  frequently sign with the parents but

  anyway my I actually kind of ranked and

  discussed all six hailey the blonde

  she's my number six I I could never find

  her and then when I did try to talk to

  her she is so defensive and insulting

  for like when you don't know her very

  well that I was like alright forget this

  she like makes funnier clothes right

  away - yeah she's like making fun of me

  immediately like I'll use like just gave

  you this nice thing a honey or something

  and you're making fun of me like come on

  she's always looking for Alex - yeah

  yeah you can kind of tell like she's not

  really looking looking at me anyway I

  was also told that like she really likes

  diamonds and I'm like I've not got that

  many diamonds yeah exactly

  she's constantly nagging you it's very

  weird yeah exactly

  I mean some people are into that I guess

  but anyway everyone I guess number five

  I

  penny I'm sorry Mike because I had I had

  similar problems with her in that she

  was easy to find which was nice but

  whenever I would try to you know give

  her things and talk to her and

  everything she always seemed totally not

  interested would totally shut me down

  and I just couldn't get anywhere with

  penny I tried I really did and like even

  when even her positive reactions to

  things aren't that positive like at

  least when you first get that when

  you're first trying get to know her and

  like I was also you know like Alex I

  think you mentioned earlier Demetrius

  kind of getting in the way of you

  getting close to Maru mm-hmm I I was

  really scared of a very protective drunk

  Pam getting in the way of me trying to

  get to know her daughter very well oh

  yeah there there's like a moment where

  she is almost like violent towards you

  yeah like right now like yeah I am

  already married in the game and Pam

  likes me a lot and yet every time I talk

  to Pam she's like hey you better stay

  away from my daughter and I'm not

  married to her daughter that's okay like

  you know I'm married now right like if

  she's still she's still driving that

  hard and she likes me so it's like yeah

  so I would be a little afraid of what

  like the town drunk would do in

  overprotective mode if I went for her

  daughter but just fine it wasn't an

  issue because her daughter seems to hate

  me anyway no matter what I give her my

  number four was Maru I was interested in

  getting to know her because she seems

  like you know nerdy and everything but I

  had the same problem you to my guy I

  could never find her

  like the entire time that I was like

  building up the relationships I think I

  saw Maru like three times total really

  hard to ever find her I also like so you

  know mechanically in the game when you

  marry someone they come to live on your

  farm with you and they basically become

  like you know like your assistant in

  some way that they don't do a lot on the

  farm they do like minor chores around so

  like they'll do like they'll fix the

  fence sometimes though occasionally

  water your dog bowl for you or whatever

  else like they do small things I kind of

  felt bad like Maru is like building

  robots and stuff and like what I think

  she'd be miserable coming to work on my

  farm it's like I kind of felt like I was

  like not doing her

  a favor by trying to get her to come

  live with me you know like I kind of

  felt bad doing that my number three was

  Lea she I found her very hard to read

  like I like it was a little hard to know

  like whether she was liking anything or

  not

  Lea seemed fairly neutral but ultimately

  disinterested in me I think she's going

  for Fabio and so it seems like you know

  maybe and she also you know it's hard to

  read part of like the the seeming

  disinterest was that she is she's one of

  the more independent adult characters

  that we can choose from so like it like

  maybe she just seemed like an

  independent adult rather than some kind

  of weird you know child adult thing that

  we had some of the other ones but

  ultimately yeah I wasn't anywhere with

  Lea either because I think she's gone

  for Fabio I was mainly dating two women

  in the game abigail and Emily blue and

  purple okay I refer to them as my purple

  girlfriend of my Glu girlfriend two

  redheads yeah and it's also very

  convenient in the game that they're easy

  to spot because they blue and purple but

  they're really easy to find and if you

  have a screen full of people it's really

  easy to figure out which ones they are

  so that made it easy Emily the my crazy

  blue girlfriend she seemed like she was

  she was one of the easier characters

  like her hearts seemed to go up faster

  than others she seemed very easily

  impressed by anything I gave her pretty

  much maybe I was just looking out with

  what I was giving her oh no she was

  super easy with me - yeah so she yes

  she's very forward and so I got to see a

  lot of her cutscenes also and so one of

  the problems you mentioned earlier Mike

  is that the blacksmith Clint it has a

  huge crush on her but he's like the sad

  sack or like never does anything but

  he's always like mopey about how much he

  likes Emily and how much she like

  doesn't notice him because he's sitting

  in the back being sad not doing anything

  this game you know there's only one

  blacksmith in town and you need the

  blacksmith for some pretty critical

  features of the game so I'm like you

  know I don't think I want to hangar my

  blacksmith in this game where there's

  only one in town like that doesn't sound

  like a good idea

  and and in one of the later cutscene

  with Emily as you get up the heart meter

  there actually is a scene where like

  you're like hanging out with her in her

  house and then Clint comes in and sees

  you with her even but even when you

  aren't like a girlfriend level it's like

  it's just like one of the like the one

  of the hearts that was a fashion show

  yeah they did the fashion yeah Clint

  comes in and sees you with her he's like

  oh well congratulations Marco yeah and

  yeah like and like with a period at the

  end you know like not not animation

  point I'm just like it was the most

  painful thing and and at that point I

  had already decided that I was actually

  going to pursue Abigail so I'm like here

  I'm like I don't even want my crazy blue

  girlfriend you can have her like she's

  very very forward and also like really

  like new agey Spacey dreams about you

  and like and like her cut scenes are all

  like acid trips like it's really weak

  Wow yeah you should you should at least

  get a crazy blue girlfriend for a little

  while just so you can see some of these

  cut scenes they're hilarious you don't

  have to give her a bouquet to get all

  those cut scenes yeah you can give she

  likes rubies and you can get rubies

  constantly so yeah give her rubies okay

  yeah I'm gonna Ruby it up if you have

  one of those crystal copiers that's I I

  made my crystal copier a Ruby machine

  and just gave her one like every few

  days no crazy blue girlfriend anyway so

  my number one is Abigail I I did

  eventually marry her so I went from my

  purple girlfriend to my purple wife

  congratulations

  yeah she seemed like she seemed like I

  mean first of all like you know I have a

  type and she seemed the most TIFF like

  of all the character and you know it's

  cool she likes video games

  I just complimented she's pretty hot

  yeah yeah she she likes video games

  she's she is reasonably normal but fun

  like she has like a fun side she's not

  like super weird or super out there or

  like a drunk or anything like she's just

  like a normal but fun person

  conveniently in the game she's easy to

  find because she lives in the general

  store so it was really he's a definer

  for you know almost any day that I was

  trying to find her except Wednesdays

  when they're closed

  her parents seemed normal easy to you

  know I I too was very friendly to her

  parents the whole time trying you know

  trying to like with them it doesn't

  actually except for that matter

  you found Pierre stash that's have you

  seen that cutscene no no what's that you

  like go into Pierre's room the gate

  makes you do it like I I didn't want to

  look at my future father-in-law's

  bedroom that's kind of awkward but like

  you go into his room and he catches you

  and he's and like you like found his

  stash and he gets all awkward and upset

  and it doesn't specify his stash of what

  it could be like either drugs or porn it

  was kind of unclear what the stash was

  but those are my two guesses but like it

  was it was really awkward and I'm like

  oh god like I'm about to marry this

  guy's daughter in like three days and

  I'm finding his drugs or porn stash if

  he's getting all mad but yeah otherwise

  it was good and the only thing that the

  only hesitation I had with Abigail is as

  you as you mentioned Alex she wants to

  go on adventure she wants to go in the

  caves and have these adventures with

  swords and everything as far as I know

  like mechanically in the game it's not

  possible for me to bring her like I

  don't think I can bring her on

  adventures and so I I kind of had the

  same feeling as like with Maru it's like

  well she wants this other kind of life

  but if she marries me I mechanically

  can't even give that to her I can't have

  her have her life of adventure

  so like am i like dooming her to like

  this unfulfilled life of like feeding my

  chickens and stuff like this she's free

  to go in adventures now that she's

  married to you right like before under

  her parents house like her dad was

  getting all mad that she was gonna you

  would if she's like hey Margo imma gonna

  go off to the caves is that cool if

  you're like of course let's go yeah

  anyway so that definite my my top six

  hey Lia penny marĂ­lia Emily and Abigail

  number one I did marry Abigail it's

  really nice having a purple wife and

  it's cool because like like the marriage

  in the game is so adorable like and not

  just the wedding but like just being

  married in the game is so cute like the

  spouse is all helpful she like gets me

  bombs and plates of food and stuff for

  like going in the mines like like the

  first morning we woke up together she

  hands me a bomb like here this is for

  your day like some explosives yeah

  exactly that's incredibly useful and

  awesome and she'd like they're so cute

  like when you when you walk up when you

  walk up to hint to them and hit the hit

  the talk button after you've already

  talked for the day you get like a little

  hug this little heart floats up with

  this little hug it's so cute it's

  adorable so it's it's a it's a really

  fun system and I'm glad I did it she

  does she's not that useful on the farm

  to be honest but it's it's fun and cute

  anyway like I love that your whole

  purpose for marriage though was

  initially it was like I just need some

  help on this farm feeding all these

  chickens well then I got the upgraded

  barn and couplet auto feed everybody I'm

  like well I guess I don't need anybody's

  help anymore but I guess I'll have a

  wife anyway for hugs

  yeah the hugs it the hugs are worth it

  alright so now we get to talk about the

  men two of them can't even function with

  getting dressed because they have like

  holes in all their clothes right there's

  not a single woman with holes in her

  clothes I got two guys at holes in their

  clothes oh gosh I just don't even know

  where to start with this group like do

  you think it's definitely not a

  coincidence that this game was made by a

  guy and that the women candidates are

  overall pretty decent I really for a

  long time very internally struggled with

  the thought of being like I like the

  women so much more but I just can't

  bring myself to even in a fantasy world

  be forming a relationship with them

  because I feel like I would be lying to

  them and I didn't want them to live a

  lie with me in case the secret gets out

  in the town

  like what if leah is a lesbian and then

  like I'm a fraud and I like marry her

  and it's not in my heart like that would

  be terrible

  she deserves a real a real true lesbian

  you and Marco are like well am I going

  to keep them from a happy life and I was

  just like the thirsty villager in town

  like Harvey Morrow come on let's cook

  marry me first come down to the love

  phone

  well she said there wasn't many you know

  crops or anything what else you gonna do

  all day that's true exactly but no like

  yeah I just IM v IM v the the pick of

  the ladies because man my dudes are just

  not great but I also did have a whole

  internal dialogue a internal struggle of

  who wants to live on a farm right like I

  feel like I didn't want to do many buddy

  to farm life that wasn't really

  interested in living on a farm and so

  that was like a little bit of a struggle

  well but like none of the characters

  want to live in a farm all of them are

  all like you had one day I want you out

  of this town I want to have an adventure

  Jane wants to raise chickens he's super

  into living on a farm it's the only

  reason like I kind of went into it but

  then you felt like Shane is this huge

  drunk right and he's just a mess of a

  person and he's tons of self-doubt and

  self-loathing and he you have all these

  cut scenes where he's like drinking on a

  cliff and gonna commit suicide and he's

  like oh it's so complicated but yeah his

  favorite gift is a beer and eventually

  he kind of cleans up after you have kind

  of like a you know a what's it called

  what's it called intervention yeah yeah

  yeah you have like an intervention

  heart-to-heart moment with him and he

  starts cleaning up Wow

  but his favorite is still a beer trying

  to stop drinking and you're giving him

  beer like do I give him the beer that I

  know he shouldn't be drinking because

  it'll make him like me master oh this is

  dark Emma I know and then also you have

  that panic of like is he gonna you know

  regress like is it gonna relapse

  is he actually better if I like going to

  be marrying him Apple girlfriend just

  likes cake it's a lot easier well my

  guys are so complicated it's so hard

  penny loves flowers I think what Lisa's

  been working for me flowers and I have

  lots of flowers cuz I grow lots of

  flowers at least at least she's like an

  inexpensive date you know like yeah Maru

  wanting batteries I mean jeez I've got

  I've been playing this game for like two

  years now in the game and I only have

  two batteries no you need more batteries

  man I know I have two oh you need a

  better place for those lightning rods

  Marco but and then another thing about

  Shane so I peeked at the wiki and I

  looked at like the different rooms that

  they bring into your house which is

  essentially like a mirror of their room

  in their own house where they live when

  you do get married and Shane's room is a

  pigsty like it's so messy so I don't

  know if I want a messy room in my house

  if I end up marrying Shane I mean my

  purple girlfriend brought me a guinea

  pig in yeah but at least it's clean like

  Shane is like still I think he actually

  does relapse to see those like spilt

  beer everywhere and like muddy boots and

  like pizza it's like it's gross yeah I

  don't you know you try to fix people but

  I don't I don't think he's gonna stay

  like all nice to me and I gave him a

  bouquet oh yeah he could be nice

  sometimes yeah this is really I know I

  know

  Shane's like you know it's very spooky

  and then he works at Jojo Marx he like

  has too and he kind of like hates

  everything but I kind of fixed him I

  don't know I don't know it's really hard

  you never really fix him I know and then

  we have Alex who I was also pursuing

  heart I mean at first he was like oh go

  away I'm just gonna lift some weights

  I'm busy right now you know and he was

  like brushing me off and he's all into

  himself and kept asking where Hayley was

  and I was like ah but now he's being

  really nice to me I like pursued him a

  little bit more and he told me a little

  bit about his past and being unloved and

  all this kind of stuff all these guys

  have been unloved and then then he's

  like I don't know what they're asking me

  I don't know what's happening in all

  their relationships but I also have this

  fear of that he's gonna be like the hot

  boyfriend that is always looking over

  his shoulder for like the the other girl

  that's hotter in town like haze looking

  for Hayley I don't know if this is like

  teenage fears coming out said a lot of

  this

  how's Yuto like really like live out

  your fantasies and also your fears and

  I'm like oh if I date like the hot jock

  guy is am I just gonna be like second

  place and he's so he's gonna be looking

  over his shoulder for someone else and

  I'm like I just I don't know if I could

  do that even though he's he's being

  really nice to me and he always has a

  shirt off lifting weights which isn't

  horrible and then Elliot he's just too

  Fabio like he's all romantic and we got

  drunk together once in the bar and that

  was kind of fun

  have you gotten has anyone else got

  drunk oh I love getting turn I don't

  know it's so like you get all glowy and

  wobbly it's real and giggly

  but yeah me and Elliot got drunk

  together so that was kind of nice but I

  still think he's into Leah so I'm

  nervous about that

  I keep trying with Sebastian I've given

  him like 700 frozen tears and he does

  not care they are and he just doesn't

  care another person who has like

  something like expensive and rare as

  their favorite and he lives in his

  parents basement and he's just so oh and

  I caught him vaping out by the lake so

  I'm like ah so not into you man you just

  killed it he's if he's on the vape he's

  a sweet vape life yeah it was like in

  the rain like in the dark he's out there

  vaping by himself so like your choices

  are a drunks a vapor

  Fabio and a sports guy who's always

  looking way to the shirt off yep yep so

  far that's my choices and then there's

  Sam the you know you know he pretty much

  looks like he's ready to catch some

  Pokemon and he's always complaining

  about helping around the house even

  though he still lives at home for some

  reason I feel like if you took the sky

  to his hair you'd get a fiber out of it

  yeah but so far I mean he we're not

  dating yet I have I gave a bouquet to

  Shane and Alex and Sam's next but and

  say I'm an Elliot or next you're a

  fourth yes I mean whoa why not I'm doing

  this thing this is who I am now

  I am the town bouquet Giver I guess if

  your options are all bad you can kind of

  really well if you just mooch them all

  together then they become a decent

  person

  like a dateable person but yes Sam he

  just seems at least nice and mellow and

  chill and even though he still lives at

  home I think maybe he'll be a little bit

  better once I get him out but I don't

  think he's gonna give up that skateboard

  which is fine he can skate like that's

  cool he just seems like such a man-child

  that a little bit problem and then

  Harvey I have a hard time busting

  through like he just keeps telling me

  not to sneeze in my hands and shake

  people's hands every I don't know he's

  very upset about my germs such a doctor

  and he's always on his radio in his room

  and I just can't crack that nut so okay

  so my top four I have Sam as my number

  one even though we're not dating yet but

  I am hard pursuing him he just I need to

  give him some pizza I think he'll like

  that as teenage boys do god I said that

  doesn't sound good but his family's

  really nice and they live in town and I

  think he enjoys staying close to his

  family alright alex is my number two

  even though I'm worried about his

  hotness and lifting weights all the time

  I don't know but I think he'd be a good

  worker on the farm so that's good what's

  up your cow mm-hmm yeah that's that'd be

  okay we can always get divorced later

  it's fine Alex will be my future

  ex-husband that's that's a movie and

  then I have Shane as my number three

  because I'm just really upset about him

  possibly relapsing and bringing a messy

  room into my house which I'm not down

  with which of those are the bigger fear

  for you the messy room vile is glad to

  look at that every day there's muddy

  boots and he's out there in the back pet

  in that chicken I don't know I might

  have dirty children who Oh

  oh my gosh yeah just bury stained all

  over the place and my my safety is

  Elliott because I he's just he's very

  intense and very romantic I think I

  would just feel like I was stuck in a

  romance novel all the time which is fine

  sometimes but it just feels I don't know

  I just got a little stifled but I mean

  his room would be really clean yeah his

  room would be really clean and but it

  might be covered in like long hair you

  might get like long hairs in your toes

  that's true yeah his hair would be but

  yeah Ellie it's my safety because I feel

  like he will just roam an

  a rock if it you know if it's there yeah

  that's my that's my top four bachelors

  thanks reams prefix okay and if I were

  to bite the bullet and go with a lady I

  think I would pick Leah yeah I'd pick

  Leah why because I like the cheese an

  artist and I feel like we can like hang

  out and art together I think we would

  cuddle it would be nice yeah yep see you

  guys have been mentioning the wiki and I

  didn't really think about this before

  and oh my word there's so much

  incredible information hi Minister do

  you value wiki C I feel like I did not

  read too much in it because part of the

  joy of the game is figuring out this

  stuff you know and so like I try to only

  refer to the wiki if I'm really stumped

  about something or if I'm if I'm curious

  about some detail of the game that

  doesn't really matter like I was curious

  I just got a horse which by the way is

  awesome and I was here like do I need to

  flick feed the horse anything or do

  anything with the horse so I look I look

  that up you know and there was a swarm

  fish that I just could not figure out

  when the hell to catch it and I looked

  up a fish once but like I try to not

  read too much out but I know that's

  where I accidentally discovered that my

  purple wife loved the chocolate cake so

  I could I just looked up yes I've never

  even thought about looking up like what

  does penny like turns out penny really

  loves diamonds to the engagement stage

  at this point running this one a little

  way to the bank now the chocolate cake

  is really easy to make so like I had it

  really easy and and my crazy blue

  girlfriend like they're like the rubies

  so that was super easy cuz I had tons of

  those so like it yeah it definitely

  matters a lot and it's also good to know

  like as you're getting to know the

  people in town it's good to read the

  lists of universal likes and universal

  dislikes like when I first started

  surely you know TIFF told me I have to

  get people gifts so I first started I'm

  giving them like you know these cool

  crystals and so I found in the caves

  no one likes those pretty much like

  those are like like on the universal

  dislikes it's like almost all the

  minerals yeah don't give anybody fish

  they don't like that oh well I wouldn't

  have guessed that but like I've found

  that

  the bad way yeah I wouldn't have guessed

  how many people like like the most of

  the artisan goods are included on the

  universal likes so if you can get you

  can walk around town with a handful of

  honey or mayonnaise and give them to

  almost everybody and almost everybody

  will like them although I did have a

  huge foot pot with my mother-in-law when

  I gave her either honey or mayonnaise

  she hates one of them didn't know that

  gave it to her twice because that every

  night you still don't know my code

  because you can't remember I feel like

  you need to play this game like with a

  notebook next to you it's like there's

  so many things where like it like one of

  the fish information because like on one

  of the living in the land TV shows it

  told me where to catch this fish and I

  just forgot and I'm like I should have

  heard that down dammit you can't you

  can't go back and like look at past ones

  yeah I did draw out what I considered to

  be the optimum sprinkler layout my farm

  so like my farm is that's why I spent my

  first year just mining the resources to

  buy enough sprinklers to mean that I

  never had the water plants anymore

  oh yeah that's step one is get yourself

  out of the business of watering anything

  but your dog wait you wanted a dog oh

  you haven't been giving your dog any

  water I have a cat I know I've never

  done it I did give your caddy water why

  do you have a cat I don't know I have a

  cat

  well of course alex has a cat of course

  no I just chose the cat because you know

  honestly I thought the cat would take

  would be less work is so cute though

  like it was a tail it goes thump thump

  thump on the ground Jeeves I called my

  cat Jeeves

  and James just like I didn't know he

  needed anything so now I need to go put

  some water in his bowl like did you ever

  notice when it was raining that the bowl

  would fill up with water

  no and then every other day it was empty

  again I mention to Jeeves right like

  Jesus just out that live in his life

  yeah I'm really glad you don't own like

  real pets I'm good for my chickens and

  my cows though okay so what's the what's

  name of everyone's farm so I kind of

  screwed up new farm is the farm name

  Mike

  well the melee so I hate I just hate

  like all these like sim guns they make

  you name it's like I don't know what to

  call it so I wanted to I was just gonna

  call it mega farm because I thought it

  was kind of funny mega I call it mega

  farm so now it's called mega farm farm

  [Laughter]

  machine so it's just called mega farm

  phone hates so much and you can't change

  it after ten minutes of sitting there

  and trying to come up with something I

  thought I come up with something kind of

  funny and then just made it so much

  worse like I may as well have just

  called it Mike yeah it would have been

  better

  mega farm fun that's pretty bad

  Marco I don't even know the name of your

  farm I thought I was being funny too and

  it was like name your farm and I was

  like sausage sausage is a funny word you

  you did you decided on the wrong gender

  mine's super boring it's called the

  upper farm because like I said I'm

  really into the show

  Wynonna Erb if if people like really

  campy sci-fi shows I recommend it

  because I'm like an adventurer in this

  game that's perfect

  I'm a I went with Schrute farm because I

  really like and my character's name is

  fanny so you got the whole thing like

  TIFF Fanny so right and then there's

  also a Fanny Schrute

  oh that's Dwight's sister and then

  everything on my farm is an out of

  reference to the office so anything I

  ever had to nays and all your cows and

  everything yeah my dog's name is Dwight

  and all my cows name and chickens and

  everything are named all different

  things I even have a mastered

  if the goat and peepee this is a good

  theme so you don't play as yourself - I

  know I am myself but I just decided that

  I just can't get it like huh I I have a

  I have a naming scheme for my animals in

  that I choose a word

  that I choose a word

  that is related to the animals and it

  changed the vowels in it so my cows

  they're all variation of the word Moo

  but I just changed the OO - like I I or

  you you or why why well sometime I mean

  I there's some variation like milk

  machine egg machine eggs herb get KitKat

  for me cat anyway I'm very lazy with

  animals in this game yeah mine are kind

  of closer to the Alex ones

  mine are like the foods that they could

  eventually become so like my chickens

  are all named like salad soup

  cacciatore things like that my my duck

  is confit the rabbit rabbit stew yeah

  the rep's names to do tartare you have

  two cows tartare the pig is pulled

  [Laughter]

  cordovan cordovan yeah also dark man I

  just have like Kevin there's one of the

  reasons I did this is because like there

  are a few bugs in the switch version and

  one of them that I came across just

  through reading reddit is that if you

  accidentally or purposefully name an

  animal after somebody in the town it

  will eventually corrupt your game really

  check I don't think I have there's no

  office names yeah yeah I think this is

  one of the things that fixing soon but

  yeah it like because if it starts like

  getting confused as to who is who like

  out of the cow and the person and then

  like eventually it just falls in on

  itself

  oh also if you leave a blank space in

  your refrigerator you won't be able to

  say crash at night every time yeah I've

  heard about that yeah every time you

  cook anything go back to their fridge

  make sure there's no gaps otherwise it

  will crash at night it's not it's not

  it's not I I saw in the wiki I was

  looking up information for my horse and

  whether I had to feed him or not and

  that it said there's a funny bug at the

  horse where if you park the horse in the

  ice

  and you can buy ice cream anytime

  someone is here working you must be able

  to buy a that's literally the book so

  like this is in the winter is that you

  can buy ice cream if the host is that I

  haven't actually tried yet but I'm gonna

  try that's amazing it counts as a person

  being there unlimited ice cream exactly

  man I'm just enjoying this game so much

  I'm so glad that we talked about all

  these crazy townspeople because Marco

  and I it's like our stories now we're

  like whoa what's the mayor up to like he

  just asked me for some truffle oil and

  was mentioning the slickness of it and

  we're like whoa no it was crazy it was

  like the this asked me for the truffle

  oil and it's and he says he won't tell

  you why he won't tell you what it's

  worth I don't like if anyone else asked

  for truffle oil and just you would

  assume okay it's for you know putting on

  things to make them taste slightly

  better you if they say and I'm not gonna

  tell you why that immediately makes it

  incredibly suspicious and creepy oh yeah

  the mayor's got something going on you

  should all sleep through his house it's

  amazing TIFF has gone through a whole

  town yeah you you've really done some

  investigation like my plan was I'm gonna

  start like really investigating after I

  get married right like that's what I'm

  gonna try and build more friendships and

  stuff like that because I feel like the

  marriage thing is like my next goal in

  the game in a way like this game is

  pretty loose with I mean there is story

  there's stuff going on right I mean

  there are things that I can see that

  gonna happen that I haven't gone to yet

  but if it feels very much like in that

  idea of like build your own game and I

  just decided for sure say like

  speedrunning my relationship and then

  once I got to the marriage staged and

  I'm gonna maybe make some friends well

  that's that the problem with that so

  this is the problem I'm facing now is

  like so I got married and so now I've

  kind of immediately lost interest in

  going around giving everybody gifts all

  the time like mmm it maybe it's cuz it's

  like it's it's somewhere in fall so I've

  been very busy on the farm just

  harvesting all my awesome automatic

  automatically water crops

  but like you know it also kind of feels

  like a little bit like should I keep

  giving gifts to like all the single

  women after I'm married it feels a

  little bit wrong you know like as long

  as you don't give them a bouquet I think

  you're okay right

  technically yes but it just feels

  awkward like in real life I would

  probably not keep doing that yeah real

  life I don't let him talk to anybody go

  hang out with your bikes so I want to

  know Alex do you have a different farm

  layout than the standard one because see

  I didn't have much farming to do because

  I had the forest farm so I don't have a

  ton of farmland so I had a lot of time

  to snoop in everyone's dressers so I was

  out relationship inquiry no I did it

  mostly because I wanted to see what the

  mechanics were like on the switch and I

  have to say this port is absolutely

  amazing I'm so impressed at how it's

  gone to other platforms with the one

  caveat that saves take like ten times

  it's it it's kind of I I don't know

  people like oh you should enjoy it I'm

  like no I want to get to the next day I

  want to water my crops ah to browse

  Instagram yeah I use it as my Twitter

  break yeah but that has kind of sort of

  made me get into making to-do lists more

  like I do I keep a notebook next I'm on

  the verge of making an OmniFocus project

  and because I don't do that and there's

  so much lemming I remember tomorrow go

  try to get the slime hutch built but

  first I got to make sure the space is

  cleared like there's not like everything

  like there's and then it's Wednesday and

  then it's wet all the stores closed and

  then oh I had to buy a calendar for my

  house to just give me some idea and

  exercise class the Carpenters not there

  every every every season I screw up

  every season I think I'm getting a head

  start on myself but like I know what

  like I was I will like like 10 to the

  ground and I'll get the fertilizer ready

  and the season changes and it all

  disappears I've done this three times

  why I keep thinking that is good oh it's

  fine going into summer it won't happen

  summer no it happened again so I need to

  stop doing that so my my advice to you

  is stop using fertilizer oh really

  so I mean it depends like how many crops

  you have like so my farm right now is

  pretty big I I only will expand when I

  can afford a sprinkler so I'd never

  manually watering anything set the bug

  bowl marker the only thing you're really

  good at growing on your farm is money

  right now you guys you have so I'll have

  to send you a screenshot of my father

  guys I'm doing as much space as I can

  with like kegs and jelly jars and

  beehives oh and everything I don't know

  how he grew his farm so fast

  it's absolutely intra sounding it's a

  machine it's I just it's insane it's

  insane every single night he's raking in

  like you know 30 grand yeah Macha you

  have some like hacks that I need to know

  about what are you doing

  so I heard you mentioned I think was on

  remaster you mentioned somewhere

  recently that like you figured out like

  that you should rather than like trying

  to save up your money early you should

  just like spends it all on new seeds

  yeah timely so yeah so you know step

  number one is always have a lot of seeds

  around so that as soon as you harvest

  something you plant that seed right back

  in there so you never have any unused

  farmland that you that you could be

  using number two is get yourself out of

  the business of watering things

  immediately so like do whatever it takes

  to get enough resources to build at

  least the quality sprinkler I don't have

  any iridium sprinkler because I don't

  have a good Iridium supply coming in yet

  but the quality like I know the ones

  that just do little tea patterns those

  suck like don't even bother with those

  because what happens when you grow the

  farm large enough the limiting factor

  starts to become your time in both

  planting and harvesting so when you have

  those little dumb tea sprinklers you

  have to make these weird awkward

  patterns to optimize their space as you

  as you mentioned but then they become

  much harder to walk through they become

  much harder to

  hoe the ground because you'd be more

  careful but what spots your hoeing and

  which ones you're not it just adds a lot

  more time so what you need to do is do

  whatever it takes you know spend a lot

  of time in the mines whatever it takes

  to get enough is it iron and copper to

  build the quality sprinklers the ones

  that just water the the whole eight

  squares around them and then you just

  make lines of those and then when you

  have that's kind of setup you can do

  things in bulk so one little trick you

  can harvest continuously by just holding

  down the harvest button and just walking

  through the field and so optimize things

  for being able to do things in large

  strips like that so like plant the same

  thing for like a huge strip or anything

  that's harvested with the sky plant a

  lot of those because those are really

  fast to harvest obviously favor crops

  that reach that regenerate so you don't

  to replant them every time certain crops

  are worth more than others if you get

  into the business of having like the

  kegs and the jelly jars those basically

  multiply the price of whatever you put

  in them so grow expensive things and put

  them in those jars and then that you get

  like a bottle of star fruit wine sells

  for $3,000 like it's incredible and the

  star fruit seed is it's like 400 bucks

  but hey if you're getting three thousand

  dollars after a while it's worth it

  right so anyway you just optimize things

  for like growing in bulk and then you

  will have an infinite supply of money

  yeah kegs and jaws is a world that I

  haven't even aware existed I just

  started doing that like after my first

  winter and and listen now I have like

  these boxes on my farm I'm just like

  most of the things I grow now I don't

  even sell I I see them in boxes and just

  fill up my giant row of cakes but anyway

  the reason I said stop using fertilizer

  is once you have you know because right

  now I think my total farmland is

  something like 200 squares of Oh

  sprinkler plant I just unlocked the

  greenhouse so I'm gonna have more and a

  little bow

  so I've roughly took his like like I

  added up one time to like how many seats

  we have to buy on day one of the season

  and it was it was like 160 then and I've

  added a little bit more we basically

  stopped watching TV and all we do is

  play this game yeah

  yeah I have some more I need to spend a

  lot more time in Saudi Valley I mean I

  will say Mario kind of put a big dent

  who needs a sorry Valley time

  I will just tell you right now you need

  Mario no no sorry Valley or do study

  Valley is of course incredible Super

  Mario Odyssey is just super Mario

  Odyssey you'd be surprised at Beach I

  keep being tempted cuz you see like your

  friends come online and they're like up

  Odyssey Odyssey and I'm like oh no but I

  gotta get those batteries Oh

  must get baru I feel like you're

  starting like a collection oh yeah look

  at my beautiful there you want to end

  there uh yeah I think we should add some

  of the farm talk is like a little after

  show possibly yeah yeah oh so anyway so

  the reason you don't want you don't want

  fertilizer is because once you have so

  many farm spots your main limitation

  becomes time of like yourself just

  walking through harvesting stuff and

  planting stuff yeah and so not only do

  you not need fertilizer because you have

  so many spots that the amount that you

  grow that our premium matters less

  because you'll get gold star stuff

  anyway I'm just you won't get as much of

  it also the citroen habits of the most

  successful farmer also if you're putting

  everything in the jars to jam or pickle

  or wine them anyway it doesn't matter

  what stars they have also if you don't

  fertilize then your crops grow at the

  same rate

  like I never got like the speed grow and

  stuff because it's like it could

  increase your crops by a random amount

  well if the crops are already at the

  same time they take less time to harvest

  so like you gotta optimize what these

  big offers for high-volume production

  that will save yourself the time we

  should do a cortex episode about this

  game I mean it's a I like dating around

  my horse carrying 50 wheat trying to

  figure out where to put it

  yeah I'm just gonna walk around town get

  200 berries and if the top four signal

  was not shined in the air I would have

  been too

  the marker roof just trying to build the

  best farm possible like that that was

  what I was doing anyway like I always

  figured like though the relationship

  stuff will come I want to make all the

  possible money first yeah like that was

  kind of where I was going so I will I

  will I think I'm close to marriage with

  penny I have one more heart before its

  maximum hearts and I'm assuming maximal

  and hearts is where where the money is

  yeah that that is when it becomes

  possible to marry her all right then I'm

  gonna then I'm gonna try and build out

  my farm to be bigger and better which

  means a lot more mine and time

  gotta get those resources but it's

  coming up to winter you see I think I I

  was I was better off because I had I

  reached the end of the of the main mine

  pretty early on like I it was like by

  like my first fall I hit bottom yeah I

  did it my first winter yeah and so like

  because because I did that early wait if

  so TIF is still working on her she's

  almost at the bottom but not yet like

  because she's been spending all the time

  he's know everybody I have nobody and

  I'm doing some serious quest that I fell

  into is anyone else doing that weird

  quest the mr. Chi one yeah yeah I

  haven't I haven't seen that myself Alex

  you played this a couple of times yeah I

  came across at one time and never

  finished it right now I'm working on

  getting the mayor's shorts back which is

  one of my favorite little quests oh yeah

  you're gonna find out so much about the

  mayor okay yep it's so tough like a year

  to find his shorts every times like I

  still haven't found the mayor's damn

  shorts also cheese challenge which is to

  get to level 25 in the thing right is

  that what the cheese challenge is no I

  did that that seems really hard so what

  you had you have to first of all you

  gotta obviously bring a lot of food and

  a lot of and you know bring some bombs

  or some staircases maybe I haven't I

  haven't bought a staircase yet but I

  hear that will help but what you really

  have to do is you have to check the

  fortune teller show on TV and only go to

  the mines on days where it says you have

  really good luck that's what that means

  because that will that I think that that

  that determines not not only what kind

  of minerals you get but that determines

  how often staircases come up mm-hmm

  so that like set yourself up to succeed

  all right so I'm only gonna go inside no

  I didn't know what that fortune tellers

  show was fool I could see in US I kinda

  figured it was some to do crops related

  the whole first year I didn't I was like

  what is this for I just need

  watch it but there's like everyday

  there's like a global luck value

  basically and that affects fishing

  mining anything we're like oh you might

  get something good like this game yeah

  yeah so like in so if it says like oh

  you know the fortunes are bad are mad

  today you're gonna have bad luck

  don't even bother going to the mind and

  you probably shouldn't even be fishing

  like it's because you're gonna just

  waste time and not and waste your stuff

  if you have really good luck and it's

  also some some of the foods that you can

  make will increase your luck make those

  and bring those when you go mining and

  and then you'll get like more staircases

  that appear and you know maybe more

  minerals that appear and stuff like that

  interesting that explains what I like

  sometimes like I've been like just

  mining for resources and I can see a

  staircase and then I'm mining and

  another staircase appears and I'm like

  why is this happening yeah it's a luck

  factor right there's just more

  staircases you can hit it's kind of nice

  though because the bad fortune days I

  kind of essentially take is like my

  dating days because that doesn't affect

  the cutscene I make the wall my fortune

  what a game what a great game so good I

  mean this this to me like you know

  because I'm I'm not really much of a

  gamer for most of the time but

  occasionally I will get super into a

  game and so in the past that's been like

  SimCity 2000 you know things like you

  know building games like that

  occasionally like an RTS might get me

  but not enough for a long time usually

  it's been building games like like and

  to me I would say this is a great

  candidate to be like the current

  generations SimCity 2000 like it is that

  it is that good where it's it's a

  building kind of game it's it's very

  uplifting it's like it's it's precious

  it is you know in a good way it's it's

  adorable it's charming it is also very

  fun

  it's very light-hearted it doesn't have

  any of the like annoying exploitive

  mechanics of modern like iOS games and

  even some console games it's just nice

  like when like when we were trying to

  explain this game - it's a Tiff's father

  recently and you know he's he's used to

  games on the iPad

  he plays you know he plays the same

  games that everyone else plays in the

  iPad like clash of clans stuff like that

  and like when you explain when you

  mention that you're playing like a

  farming game to somebody from most of

  the world they assume it's gonna be more

  like farmville which is very like you

  know exploitive like oh you better come

  back at 2 a.m. or you're gonna lose your

  farm or like stuff like that and this

  game has none of that crap it has like

  no in-app purchases

  nothing based on real time and you know

  you don't have to come check the game in

  every real life day like you can just

  stop playing and your world pauses when

  you have time you can go play it again

  just as little to do as you want yeah

  like like the whole like the whole first

  like few days I was playing it you know

  I knew nothing about the game I was just

  playing a blonde and I kept thinking

  like alright what what's gonna come out

  and just kill me like what like what

  what random thing that I didn't know

  about is gonna come just kill me and

  then we call and teach me a lesson you

  know and this game just doesn't have

  that like it's just a nice game it's low

  it's low stress you're not constantly

  like worrying about some random thing

  that's gonna come out and kill you like

  it's or some like oh god what horrible

  things gonna happen if I forget about X

  Y or Z if I forget to do this thing and

  yeah the answer is nothing bad really

  happens like it's just a nice game and

  yet it's still despite having nothing

  bad really happening it still manages to

  be good and fun and challenging and

  rewarding and it's and and I keep going

  back like I can't believe one person

  made this game like it's such a marvel

  and when you see like the more you play

  it the more impressive that gets because

  you see like oh my god this whole world

  like the world is huge all of the art

  just the art alone the fact that the art

  was done by one person even if that same

  person didn't do anything else that

  alone would be impressive because

  there's so much of it everything has

  different seasonal you know drawings and

  different lighting conditions and some

  stuff looks different in the rain it's

  just it's crazy like how many variations

  of everything there are a little alone

  how many objects there are in the game

  at all like it's it's a huge game and

  it's just so impressive on so many

  levels and the fact that was all done by

  one person just blows my mind he's

  working on a sequel now and it's it's

  going to be set in the

  like stardew valley universe but it's

  probably like the the hints are that

  it's going to be an RPG

  sim but set in a like a Hogwarts magic

  school setting and I'm like oh man I'm

  so excited to like make my potions

  explore all the crazy dungeons it's it's

  gonna be really really cool is is that

  the the magic school one is that the one

  that he's doing or is that the one that

  chuckle fish are doing because I'm

  getting I was getting a bit confused

  because I was reading through an AMA

  that the guy did the charcoal fish is

  the publisher now right like they

  handled the porting and stuff because

  the guy doesn't work on society valley

  anymore does he he's done and he's

  working on this new thing but I couldn't

  work out whether the Hogwarts magic

  school one was his game or their game

  well he he is chuckle fish or okay was

  like part of chuckle fish from the

  beginning so like yeah they have the

  thing is they have a bunch of games that

  aren't I mean they're fine I guess but

  he's what's called like a partnered game

  so I guess it's kind of like like

  capybara how all of their games even the

  ones who are like that are developed by

  one person it's still kind of I'm not

  really sure but I he is going to be the

  sole developer on that one but now he

  has money so he can do like whatever he

  wants

  include like if you think how good a

  little stuff is that he's done like with

  more money you could have even better

  music and you know that sort of stuff

  yeah it's very exciting well that kind

  of that might ruin it though like

  because like he did so well with just

  himself and like yeah like it was in his

  parents basement for four years making

  this game how long yeah boy yeah like it

  might there might be a George Lucas

  effect to worry about here like that

  like now that he has tons of money what

  will he do yeah I worry about like

  sophomore slump

  yeah like because this was such a

  masterpiece like I I everything's in

  perfect balance oh good oh good well

  anyway thanks for doing this and we

  should thank our guest yeah yeah well

  that was awesome

  what a good product and/or service that

  was like this episode this episode is

  okay just a quick one just in well thank

  you guys so much for coming on and being

  our stardew valley couple de jour this

  was so much fun doing to talk about this

  game yeah is just so good and especially

  all the little stories that go on

  interpersonal stories with all the

  characters that don't exist but to me

  and marco they exist and to our

  real-life friends they don't understand

  you don't understand it's like the

  internet friends do they think we're

  crazy they're probably right I mean I am

  quite excited that my partner is finally

  going to listen to a podcast that I'm on

  listen and they're like oh whoa whoa

  you're talking to Tiffany Marco today

  about and in that like saying we don't

  watch TV anymore we just watch me flirt

  the villagers

  I love backseat dating with Marco it's

  so much fun yeah it's great well thank

  you gellick so much for joining us and

  thanks Mike for joining us again it's

  always a pleasure

  third time I think on top for I'm

  building up something oh yeah I need one

  more just one more

  or you just stick with three because we

  have no rules I would have to be so good

  on the fourth one that would be

  intimidating yeah alright everyone happy

  dating oh good

  no that's terrible that's good actually

  no I'm gonna use that even though it's

  terrible that's great