Roderick on the Line

Ep. 263: "Rear Admiral Crunch"

 

  this episode of Roderick on the wine is [TS]

  brought to you by hello fresh Ella fresh [TS]

  is a meal kit delivery service that [TS]

  shops plans and delivers your favorites [TS]

  step-by-step recipes and pre-measured [TS]

  ingredients so you can just cook eat and [TS]

  enjoy learn more about hellofresh right [TS]

  now by visiting hellofresh calm [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Merlyn how's it going [TS]

  super good [TS]

  are you having a nice morning so far a [TS]

  pretty good morning yeah T good morning [TS]

  you know I'm trying to I'm trying to [TS]

  practice better sleep hygiene I've heard [TS]

  rumors about this yeah and the Sun now [TS]

  the Sun has become my friend the Sun [TS]

  accommodates us it's finally like a [TS]

  normal day yeah I accept we're about [TS]

  daylight savings time it again uh like a [TS]

  week from now it's all gonna go to shit [TS]

  again [TS]

  it's only in the last week that sunset [TS]

  feels like a normal time and I don't I [TS]

  don't mind the dark mornings but it [TS]

  feels like it came up I mean you're in a [TS]

  different latitude longitude you're in a [TS]

  different horizontal than I am that's [TS]

  right [TS]

  latitude what does that do to your day I [TS]

  mean it's both right cuz I remember [TS]

  being in Portland and thinking their [TS]

  time feels different here it is [TS]

  different yeah and the summertime the [TS]

  Sun doesn't go down until like almost [TS]

  10:00 but in the winter especially after [TS]

  the after the the daylight savings time [TS]

  comes in the Sun Goes Down at 4:00 yeah [TS]

  and so that's too early John that's [TS]

  right it's the worst and there's no [TS]

  reason for daylight savings time up here [TS]

  it doesn't it all it does is is pummel [TS]

  us nobody cares if it's like light at [TS]

  give your family more time to collect [TS]

  their potatoes yeah yes so so appalling [TS]

  it's like when you get home from work [TS]

  it's already dark when you get home from [TS]

  school it's like already dark there's no [TS]

  daylight that is hard on my lady friend [TS]

  man she works for a living [TS]

  it sucks to leave work while the Sun is [TS]

  setting is gross it's terrible well you [TS]

  know what I was growing up in the winter [TS]

  you never saw the Sun I had a classroom [TS]

  my fifth and sixth grade classroom was [TS]

  in a converted locker room because the [TS]

  hotter the school my elementary school [TS]

  had been a Catholic school like a [TS]

  private school and somehow the city [TS]

  absorbed it but there but it wasn't [TS]

  quite big enough to to accommodate all [TS]

  the students and so they and also there [TS]

  weren't [TS]

  locker rooms because it was an [TS]

  elementary school now instead of I mean [TS]

  I think it was a Catholic junior high or [TS]

  something okay so they turned the locker [TS]

  room into a into a class and it was [TS]

  great in there it was like this it was [TS]

  like this little it wasn't little it was [TS]

  big but it was all carpeted they had [TS]

  carpeted the floors I think they'd [TS]

  carpeted like they put carpet on [TS]

  everything they could and it just felt [TS]

  like a little womb in there but the [TS]

  problem is you would go in in the [TS]

  morning and it would be dark and you [TS]

  would come out at night and it would be [TS]

  dark and it was like you just I mean I [TS]

  guess on sunny days they would they [TS]

  would give us recess and we'd go outside [TS]

  and get a little Sun but there were [TS]

  windows right so you couldn't look out [TS]

  and even see no good that's good body [TS]

  clock it does but it was like living [TS]

  inside of a beanbag chair I'm talking [TS]

  about it I kind of miss it I would take [TS]

  it go back to my fifth grade class and [TS]

  just curl up in the corner and read [TS]

  watership down a Sat book you left alone [TS]

  it is a sad book huh [TS]

  it is that book um I want to circle back [TS]

  to your sleep because I I'm not up to [TS]

  date on your other program but I'd like [TS]

  to hear about your sleep I'm just saying [TS]

  I've talked about this too much lately [TS]

  so I'm just gonna say this I'm uh I have [TS]

  feelings about time and I have a lot of [TS]

  feelings about time and keeps on tickin [TS]

  and yeah I my thought on this is just [TS]

  pick one just pick one good time I mean [TS]

  if we're gonna do daylight saving time [TS]

  let's do that all the time if we do the [TS]

  other one let's do the other one but [TS]

  let's just do one and stick with it it's [TS]

  the change is you have a kid now that's [TS]

  old enough that you're probably facing [TS]

  this when daylight saving time starts it [TS]

  feels criminal to a child [TS]

  mm-hmm it's not even near sunset you're [TS]

  supposed to go to bed while the Sun is [TS]

  still visible in the sky I will farm [TS]

  people no thanks Marcia are we what what [TS]

  what is happening we need to just get [TS]

  one in and stick with it I think that [TS]

  Jim I have a lot of other feelings but [TS]

  just for the purposes of this program I [TS]

  just want to say let's not [TS]

  overcomplicate this it seems like [TS]

  daylight savings time [TS]

  and the electoral college gam starting a [TS]

  list are the same right they're both [TS]

  things that we need to eliminate but [TS]

  there's a lot of investment in it that [TS]

  no you know it's like the sunk cost [TS]

  fallacy nobody really cares what we've [TS]

  invested in them like it's not it's not [TS]

  like it's not like it would cost us [TS]

  really any money we just were just [TS]

  emotionally invested in these dumb ideas [TS]

  that are and also like the electro [TS]

  college is getting worse the time thing [TS]

  sucks but it's always sucked mostly the [TS]

  same the electro college problem is [TS]

  getting worse yeah but there's no you [TS]

  know that's not like the it's not like [TS]

  the people in power presently are going [TS]

  to do anything about I know I know but [TS]

  as more people move to cities and as [TS]

  collections of various political parties [TS]

  tend to get more kind of collect or pool [TS]

  down to these same areas I mean come on [TS]

  Montana really it's awful so but what do [TS]

  we do it's another example of of what [TS]

  what of a situation where they just need [TS]

  to give us the keys let's that [TS]

  do-nothing Congress Congress keeps [TS]

  changing or changing our clock the [TS]

  government wasn't it Arizona that [TS]

  decided in their in their way the path [TS]

  they passed a referendum where they [TS]

  wouldn't celebrate Martin Luther King [TS]

  Day and also they wouldn't go on [TS]

  daylight savings yeah oh yeah and is [TS]

  that still true is it still the one [TS]

  state that won't switch over hip-hop [TS]

  songs about that I feel like and I'm [TS]

  pretty sure that Arizona is still off [TS]

  the daylight saving time but you know [TS]

  there's videos you can watch about this [TS]

  that are that will that will make you [TS]

  extra super mad because there are there [TS]

  are areas where like to two different [TS]

  sides of the street you know are like in [TS]

  different times there's stuff it's just [TS]

  bananas oh I'm so mad already [TS]

  yeah that's I'm so mad I'm so mad you [TS]

  know that's like splitting families [TS]

  apart it's like kind of temporal Civil [TS]

  War yeah that's right that's exactly [TS]

  what it is one side over here the other [TS]

  side over here it's got no soup yeah and [TS]

  the brother against brother but the [TS]

  other one doesn't find out for an hour [TS]

  it's just like in East Germany I [TS]

  remember seeing after they took the wall [TS]

  down there were all [TS]

  these situations where it I guess when [TS]

  the wall was there it was maybe less [TS]

  clear because there was a giant wall but [TS]

  when the wall went down you realized how [TS]

  many places came out in the countryside [TS]

  that they'd that just like in Berlin [TS]

  they ran this wall down the middle of [TS]

  the street and there was a house over [TS]

  here and there was a house over there [TS]

  and all of a sudden there was a no-man's [TS]

  land between them where they had been [TS]

  like neighbors where you could call from [TS]

  the porch and like your Leahy who that's [TS]

  that's so arbitrary it's like a tornado [TS]

  you know you just it's ridiculous right [TS]

  it's crazy it's crazy and and you you [TS]

  can stand in those places now and just [TS]

  be like wait a minute wait a minute wait [TS]

  wait these were two separate countries [TS]

  before like like really it's across the [TS]

  street what else goes on the list I've [TS]

  got don't talk about your sleep I got [TS]

  daylight saving time I got the electoral [TS]

  college are there other things that were [TS]

  once a good idea for a reason that are [TS]

  sticking around in a way that's that's [TS]

  perhaps harming us more than helping us [TS]

  hmm that's a good question [TS]

  yeah we'll think on it I got I got a [TS]

  list start it if you think of anything [TS]

  well you know I'm thinking I'm I'm [TS]

  thinking about that stuff all the time [TS]

  you know I usually usually think about [TS]

  it in terms of like top-down [TS]

  organization rather than bottom-up [TS]

  organization mmm-hmm [TS]

  I mean there are ones that are just like [TS]

  bees in my bonnet you take like [TS]

  something like a fax machine where it's [TS]

  almost like like anthrax or polio or [TS]

  something we're like as long as any of [TS]

  them are still out there we might get a [TS]

  fax or need to get a fax they need to be [TS]

  eradicated think we need to just say as [TS]

  a people we were not going to use this [TS]

  it lets served a very important purpose [TS]

  but there are so many better ways to do [TS]

  that at this point unless met with fax [TS]

  machines on the list yeah please do you [TS]

  know until very recently only it feels [TS]

  like only a year ago even I was still [TS]

  getting emails from people saying well [TS]

  just fax just print this out sign it and [TS]

  fax it back to me and I always refused [TS]

  to do it [TS]

  and there were a lot of well [TS]

  yeah it's been like oh no you DocuSign [TS]

  but I do a lot of my business on my [TS]

  phone and a lot of those apps are badly [TS]

  well I don't have to tell you about an [TS]

  app that's badly you said this to people [TS]

  in positions of power or basically if [TS]

  you can't do it on your phone you're not [TS]

  gonna do it right and I said I said to a [TS]

  guy the other day he was like well just [TS]

  send me an invoice for that and I said [TS]

  you and I've been doing business for 22 [TS]

  years uh-huh do you need me to fucking [TS]

  send you an invoice are you serious are [TS]

  you serious right now [TS]

  you need an invoice from me legging [TS]

  write it out on a piece of paper and [TS]

  sign my name to it you know I don't give [TS]

  a shit but what world are we living in [TS]

  they use yeah I need to send you an [TS]

  input Britney's for a system probably [TS]

  sky Sesenta the thing is I sent him one [TS]

  he's like oh I can't open that because I [TS]

  because I did it in pages because I [TS]

  don't have word I don't know I don't [TS]

  know man I don't know send a text file [TS]

  it says send me $200 motherfucker right [TS]

  so don't make it a check I'm putting [TS]

  checks on a list so he says oh well if I [TS]

  was the business I can't send it to you [TS]

  because I'm not the business manager if [TS]

  I was the business manager I'd do it and [TS]

  I'm like you're the manager what do you [TS]

  mean business you're doing with the [TS]

  manager manager you're the manager [TS]

  manager you telling me that the business [TS]

  manager has got some system that you are [TS]

  like yes ma'am Trump won but DocuSign [TS]

  and I know this is not a plug but [TS]

  DocuSign in the last nine months let's [TS]

  say has finally gotten to a point where [TS]

  more than 60% of the time I use it I [TS]

  don't fling my phone across the room and [TS]

  scream well that's that's nice to hear [TS]

  yeah so I just signed a contract a few [TS]

  days ago I signed it on DocuSign and and [TS]

  it was one of those I think some we [TS]

  crossed some line where these apps now [TS]

  are starting to say like ah you've been [TS]

  here [TS]

  or yes I like like square when you when [TS]

  you when you go to a shop and you use [TS]

  your credit card on this way it no [TS]

  longer in most cases is confused by who [TS]

  you are and wants you to put your email [TS]

  address in right if I've used a credit [TS]

  card on square now I get a receipt in [TS]

  them yeah it just has decide it's [TS]

  figured it out it's figured out for the [TS]

  most part there are still some places [TS]

  that are like where they were the person [TS]

  behind the counter says would you like a [TS]

  receipt would you like a receipt and I'm [TS]

  like yes I always want to receipt and [TS]

  they're like they turn the thing around [TS]

  they're like just put in your email [TS]

  address I'm like I would rather give you [TS]

  a pint of blood and stand here and put [TS]

  my email address and for my blood [TS]

  you know what you're gonna get before [TS]

  you get a email address I want you to [TS]

  fax me the receipt yeah I want you to [TS]

  fax it between two slices of bread [TS]

  melons you want you to put it between [TS]

  your needs this episode of Roderick on [TS]

  the line is brought to you by hellofresh [TS]

  you can learn more about hellofresh [TS]

  right now by visiting hellofresh calm [TS]

  this is a new sponsor and we're very [TS]

  excited to have them because they make [TS]

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  roderick on the line and all the great [TS]

  shows well okay here's the thing I don't [TS]

  go on about checks but you know the [TS]

  thing is a check made sense at a time [TS]

  when you hmm [TS]

  the Czech people oh no sorry now I'm not [TS]

  talking about the metal the metal is no [TS]

  but like in a time when most of us were [TS]

  using American green currency and coins [TS]

  to pay for things checks made a lot of [TS]

  sense so like if you want to get your [TS]

  sea-monkeys right you might you might [TS]

  send a senate check or what a check or [TS]

  your rent because it doesn't make sense [TS]

  sense to send your $200 rent check or to [TS]

  send your $200 in cash in the mail look [TS]

  you don't want to do that no and so you [TS]

  say please accept this little piece of [TS]

  paper with my signature that's going on [TS]

  the list with my signature on it so you [TS]

  know it's me and then my bank will give [TS]

  you this much money if it's in them it [TS]

  made a lot of sense but now [TS]

  doing that so much now people especially [TS]

  the millenniums the millenniums don't [TS]

  even understand what cash is anymore by [TS]

  some Altoids and the user leaves their [TS]

  chip card yeah [TS]

  that's why I keep I keep paying [TS]

  millenniums for things in in Canadian [TS]

  currency because they don't know the [TS]

  difference I'm like here you go this is [TS]

  two loonies and a toonie and they're [TS]

  like thanks thanks man priests process [TS]

  is real gold [TS]

  that's a Canadian doubloon blooney a [TS]

  doubloon e huh yeah they they put it up [TS]

  into their mouths and they they bite on [TS]

  it because they've seen Olympians do [TS]

  that with their gold medal our [TS]

  prospectors counterfeit money I learned [TS]

  from prospectors I actually still get a [TS]

  book of checks oh I think I know because [TS]

  I pay people that come around oh sure [TS]

  my psalm wouldn't turn down a check I [TS]

  bet no no in fact they paid him with a [TS]

  check I pay people that come around I [TS]

  like to have every kind of financial [TS]

  instruments available because there are [TS]

  a lot of people that I do business with [TS]

  the don't they don't trust the banks do [TS]

  you want a German bearer bond yeah [TS]

  that's right that's right and the way I [TS]

  get them is that I shut down the entire [TS]

  electrical grid mmm [TS]

  ladies and gentlemen I give you the [TS]

  f-b-i smell that coffee they pack them [TS]

  with coffee but I just I just found out [TS]

  the other day because you know that I [TS]

  don't like to sit and yell at companies [TS]

  or corporation you know that's not gonna [TS]

  happen I don't like to do it but [TS]

  recently Chase Bank some kind of a [TS]

  problem and Jesus was now in your bed [TS]

  box yeah there's a problem we've written [TS]

  a thousand word letter to them to the [TS]

  States Attorney General so so you know a [TS]

  letter was drafted a minute went out and [TS]

  we edited it down [TS]

  and now it's ready to send cowboy the [TS]

  States Attorney General is gonna hear [TS]

  about it when I was growing up we always [TS]

  used the National Bank of Alaska and [TS]

  there were a lot of there was the bank [TS]

  it's a National Bank [TS]

  well the National Bank of Alaska it's [TS]

  the bank of the nation of Alaska okay [TS]

  when my dad worked for the Alaska [TS]

  Railroad we used the Alaska Railroad [TS]

  employees Federal Credit Union and that [TS]

  was my first book of checks and when my [TS]

  and that was like 12 years old my dad [TS]

  was like I'm getting you a checking [TS]

  account and I was like oh my god I'm so [TS]

  big I could almost drive and they let me [TS]

  pick out the kind of checks I wanted and [TS]

  of course I got the ones with the [TS]

  Western theme that looked like old [TS]

  parchment and my checkbook looked like [TS]

  hand tooled leather that's a good look [TS]

  that's a really good look it's really [TS]

  impressed by it and so because I wanted [TS]

  to be prepared I went through and I [TS]

  signed every check in advance so I [TS]

  didn't have to worry about doing it a [TS]

  hand-tooled leather book of checks a [TS]

  blank side checked in [TS]

  that was my first experience before that [TS]

  my bank account that I had down here in [TS]

  Seattle when I was a kid you know I had [TS]

  a bank book they not only millenniums [TS]

  one book yeah but even like Generation Y [TS]

  won't understand what that is but they [TS]

  give you a password a book like a pass [TS]

  it was and it was like a little ledger [TS]

  yeah and every time you made a deposit [TS]

  they would like write it in this book [TS]

  and and and every time you you admit it [TS]

  withdrawn so you could keep this little [TS]

  book oh my god I pored over this little [TS]

  book you know because every every time [TS]

  somebody would give me 25 cents I would [TS]

  put it in a shoebox then when I got up [TS]

  enough money that it was worth a trip to [TS]

  the bank I would carry my shoebox in to [TS]

  the bank and give them and open the lid [TS]

  and say like here I made a dollar doing [TS]

  this and I mowed the lawn for six weeks [TS]

  and let's say say that there's a lot of [TS]

  people in life [TS]

  they loved kids because everyone had all [TS]

  the time in the world but that's true [TS]

  that's true [TS]

  you can't there be 16 people at windows [TS]

  yeah right and the carpets on the floor [TS]

  and they were giving away toasters going [TS]

  to the baby I got my first digital clock [TS]

  radio came from a bank bank right first [TS]

  Supertramp was on a bank radio really oh [TS]

  the rig wasn't at the bank no no I had [TS]

  to take it home plug in and take out the [TS]

  box and whatnot yeah but National Bank [TS]

  it wasn't a real digital clock it was [TS]

  one of the ones that flipped away [TS]

  couldja flipper Chuck I was at a thrift [TS]

  store the other day and I saw one of [TS]

  those and it was the same one that I'd [TS]

  had as a kid and I I was walking through [TS]

  the shelves you know looking at all the [TS]

  crap and I saw this thing from afar and [TS]

  just had that like that bursts of [TS]

  familiarity of like what the hell is [TS]

  that like there I've seen a billion [TS]

  clocks at thrift stores why am I having [TS]

  this reaction I walked over to it and it [TS]

  was like yeah oh the but this is the [TS]

  button that I would every morning hit [TS]

  hoping that I would the alarm would stop [TS]

  bringing in that I would never have to [TS]

  go to school again speaking of sleep the [TS]

  one that I had when I was probably at my [TS]

  nearly most sleep-deprived I want to say [TS]

  around eighth grade it we had a real [TS]

  nice feature if you're having trouble [TS]

  sleeping you can get sleep at night and [TS]

  you know what I do before the minute [TS]

  card flipped you behind a little bit [TS]

  just a little bit of like pumped up I [TS]

  guess it's 12:03 now Oh back with bings [TS]

  word things Oh things were just things [TS]

  it was so simple then these were things [TS]

  clocks were clocks well I hope you'll [TS]

  follow up and you know get a response to [TS]

  the letter oh well so anyway this is bad [TS]

  OPSEC for even talking about banking [TS]

  things but since you're walking out the [TS]

  door I guess you're free to talk about [TS]

  it yeah no it's good that so so [TS]

  Washington Mutual I got my first washing [TS]

  mutual account really early on in [TS]

  91 because I tried to use US Bank and US [TS]

  Bank had this program that they were [TS]

  really excited about they touted this [TS]

  program called overdraft protection [TS]

  where if you if you wrote a check and [TS]

  you didn't have enough money to cover it [TS]

  they would cover it [TS]

  it was overdraft protection that's [TS]

  imagine I was like I was like that's [TS]

  gonna be great you guys cover it [TS]

  fantastic alright and then I made the [TS]

  natural assumption that when you then [TS]

  put more money in the bank they paid [TS]

  themselves and whatever little charge [TS]

  they had and and everybody was good but [TS]

  in fact what overdraft protection was [TS]

  was the a paid your debt and took the [TS]

  amount that they'd paid and put it in a [TS]

  separate account because they were loan [TS]

  it was alone oh that's how they get you [TS]

  yeah and so then I would make my deposit [TS]

  of my paycheck and burp interpreter [TS]

  Merilee on my way well one day I went [TS]

  into the bank and they were like you're [TS]

  $500 [TS]

  you have $500 in your overdraft [TS]

  protection account and it's accruing at [TS]

  24 percent interest or something like [TS]

  this and some banker told this to me and [TS]

  I was like what are you talking about [TS]

  because each one of these $20 checks [TS]

  that had that had would that would have [TS]

  bounced oh it's accruing toward them [TS]

  were them oh that's that's the wrong [TS]

  kind of accrual right and they had not [TS]

  it was not clear and they were like oh [TS]

  well if you'd read the fine print on the [TS]

  thing that you signed it was one of [TS]

  those if you'd read the fine print [TS]

  things and so at the time I was pretty [TS]

  young I didn't fully understand the [TS]

  repercussions of everything that I did [TS]

  and I said I am closing my account good [TS]

  day sir [TS]

  and that set in motion a situation where [TS]

  I was getting phone calls in an attempt [TS]

  to collect a debt and any information [TS]

  will be used by Miranda uniforms for [TS]

  spor eleven more years so ye every time [TS]

  every time I had a house phone mr. [TS]

  Roderick [TS]

  does it make you feel like a big man not [TS]

  to pay your bills but anyway I went to [TS]

  Washington Mutual I loved my [TS]

  relationship with them they were right [TS]

  there on Broadway I remember them being [TS]

  in Florida it was they were they became [TS]

  a big bank but they were originally a [TS]

  local bank [TS]

  I had a count number that when I would [TS]

  when I would go up to the teller and [TS]

  they would read my account number they'd [TS]

  say oh wow you've been here a long time [TS]

  this is the old style of account number [TS]

  and I always took a lot of pride in that [TS]

  you know I like I like to have an old [TS]

  style account number and then they got [TS]

  too big for their britches they screwed [TS]

  up they they became a big behemoth and [TS]

  they fell apart well they lost a little [TS]

  bit that personal touch [TS]

  you really did they really did and they [TS]

  also lost like several tens of billions [TS]

  of dollars yeah and then they were [TS]

  absorbed by Chase Bank a faceless New [TS]

  York banking enterprise and and largely [TS]

  it was because of my old account number [TS]

  my mind now like account number that [TS]

  predated five different iterations of of [TS]

  the bank but I just hung in there I was [TS]

  like all right I'm gonna hang in there [TS]

  you know because I've got this account [TS]

  number that starts with zero five nine [TS]

  or something which you know which it's [TS]

  it's hard for me to you know when I call [TS]

  triple-a and they're like thank you for [TS]

  being a member since 1997 I'm like you [TS]

  goddamn right uh-huh [TS]

  you goddamn right triple-a you provide a [TS]

  good service even though you're even [TS]

  there customer service is about 50/50 [TS]

  yeah anyway Chase Bank has started they [TS]

  wanted us to use their take a picture of [TS]

  the check in a little little deposit [TS]

  nothing yeah but in the last year they [TS]

  have disappeared three separate checks [TS]

  know where they they said your check has [TS]

  been deposited here's your number you [TS]

  know here's a transaction up and they [TS]

  sent the people who whose check it was a [TS]

  canceled like canceled check the back X [TS]

  Emily but did not deposit the money [TS]

  that's that feels like I don't want to [TS]

  talk out of school here that feels like [TS]

  a a failure at a fairly fundamental [TS]

  level for what one considers a [TS]

  professional bank for what a bank is [TS]

  being asked for what we still actually [TS]

  need a god damned bank to do that's [TS]

  right and so they're like hey early [TS]

  adopter grab on this technology where [TS]

  you just take a picture with a jack why [TS]

  do we do it's like when you go on do on [TS]

  an app and they're like oh just put your [TS]

  phone over your credit card and we'll [TS]

  scan it and then it'll be in your [TS]

  account and you sit there with your [TS]

  phone trying to square up the credit [TS]

  card like a minute and yeah you know I [TS]

  could have just put the number in by now [TS]

  anyway so we so it was my bookkeeper who [TS]

  discovered this my bookkeeper who said [TS]

  wait a minute [TS]

  there's like five thousand dollars [TS]

  missing that's a lot of money John it's [TS]

  a lot of money so we called them we [TS]

  called their customer service operation [TS]

  which was in Bangalore right next to [TS]

  where they make the torpedoes okay and [TS]

  we talked to some people who they were [TS]

  able to resolve it very quickly I [TS]

  imagine ultimately what they said was [TS]

  that a banking relationship between a [TS]

  bank and a customer is a relationship [TS]

  that requires some mutual effort in the [TS]

  sense that the bank can take your money [TS]

  and give you a number for the exchange [TS]

  but then it's really the onus is on the [TS]

  customer to make sure that the money was [TS]

  there oh you fucked up this is what [TS]

  they're saying by not being sure you [TS]

  didn't follow up follow up make sure the [TS]

  cheque went through is that what [TS]

  happened yeah I didn't check the bank's [TS]

  work and that was part of our mutual [TS]

  obligations one I'll see now you know [TS]

  yeah the bank takes my money and get and [TS]

  tells me that it's fine but then I have [TS]

  to make sure mmm [TS]

  so that precipitated well that really [TS]

  really kind of like if you think about [TS]

  what is it bad [TS]

  actually good for I mean one of the [TS]

  obvious things is like okay they got a [TS]

  pretty secure facility if you want to [TS]

  put your deed in a safe-deposit box you [TS]

  would do that if somebody sends you a [TS]

  piece of paper that says it's worth [TS]

  $5,000 they'll take care of that what [TS]

  they said then you know you should [TS]

  really be checking in on that box you [TS]

  should pop in once in a while make sure [TS]

  that deed is still there the way you [TS]

  left it [TS]

  yeah make sure that the that we didn't [TS]

  like break it open with a crowbar [TS]

  I thought you pushed it our relationship [TS]

  so believe you me my bookkeeper really [TS]

  had a lot to say on this matter and [TS]

  wrote she tends to write very long [TS]

  letters and then my job is to you know [TS]

  punch him up a little bit make make him [TS]

  a little bit tighter tighter anyway [TS]

  she's going to the state's attorney [TS]

  general but in any joke a but you're the [TS]

  manager in that case yeah but we have so [TS]

  we're now switching our bank and I and I [TS]

  this is another Bank I've had a long [TS]

  relationship with it because this was [TS]

  the bank where I did the banking for the [TS]

  Roderick group right and what I had [TS]

  realized I didn't know this I guess [TS]

  because I had registered several aliases [TS]

  at that Bank because I was in a phase [TS]

  then before I started before I really [TS]

  started taking by the kitchen if you [TS]

  have the option of registering an alias [TS]

  I would I would do it out the door what [TS]

  I did and didn't even realize I done is [TS]

  that you can write me a check you can [TS]

  write a check to hashtag supertrain and [TS]

  I can catch I can cash it please someone [TS]

  do this and I don't know why like four [TS]

  years Wow if somebody's like oh yeah I [TS]

  can write you a check just say like yeah [TS]

  make it a hashtag supertrain I can do [TS]

  that Wow what is that ever seen I could [TS]

  see that screwing up the system because [TS]

  that's got a special character in it [TS]

  well it does and I'm and I'm not sure [TS]

  either [TS]

  about whether or not the hashtag is just [TS]

  for fun [TS]

  I see but to accuse about this heat now [TS]

  well and I and I actually I sent an [TS]

  email to my banker and I was like can I [TS]

  really do this and then I realized wait [TS]

  a minute I can get checks made that say [TS]

  hashtag super training oh my god [TS]

  I could get a platinum business card [TS]

  that says hashtag super train on it oh [TS]

  my god [TS]

  and if it was one of those new ones [TS]

  where the numbers just like kind of [TS]

  itched on the back that would look so [TS]

  badass it's super bad I'm okay for this [TS]

  bounce on super train it's also also I [TS]

  can get checks written to all the great [TS]

  shows oh my like I don't even remember [TS]

  doing this I must have been in an [TS]

  absolute fugue state and I think at what [TS]

  I did at the time I was very busy I [TS]

  think even my banker offered me the [TS]

  option of getting checks made with with [TS]

  a stencil picture like a like a clipart [TS]

  picture of a GMC RV on them and I guess [TS]

  I I guess I maybe forgot to give him the [TS]

  go-ahead on that now I'm kind of now i [TS]

  partly regret it and partly am kind of [TS]

  fine with it but I don't have this so [TS]

  you're moving thanks that's good it [TS]

  feels like a good step but now you're [TS]

  gonna feel like you need to ride that [TS]

  like if you do the I mean that's a [TS]

  pretty common thing now you take a photo [TS]

  of a check yeah like you feel like you [TS]

  need with your new bank or your new old [TS]

  thank you super training bank you still [TS]

  feel like you need to kind of ride that [TS]

  and monitor the relationship well it's [TS]

  interesting because when I was at [TS]

  Washington Mutual I didn't have enough [TS]

  money coming and going that I had a [TS]

  banker but I knew the tellers you know [TS]

  I'd go in there and like hey cuz I it [TS]

  was like the old style of banking those [TS]

  people worked there for a long time and [TS]

  you would go to posit your paycheck all [TS]

  the time you would he'd go in there and [TS]

  it was two blocks from where I work and [TS]

  it was like part of your day go to the [TS]

  bank that was part of the ritual like go [TS]

  to the butcher shop go to the bank there [TS]

  was like this is this certain like these [TS]

  at least weekly errands that I was [TS]

  compelled to attend as a kid that were [TS]

  just like part of life go to the post [TS]

  office yeah [TS]

  right oh stop aside fire 13 cent stamps [TS]

  most of his bank hardware store or [TS]

  grocery store that was back when I [TS]

  carried a little laminated card in my [TS]

  wallet where I'd written down the phone [TS]

  numbers of everyone I knew in tiny tiny [TS]

  tiny little letters i smart then I [TS]

  laminated it with scotch tape or with [TS]

  packing tape it was like a piece of [TS]

  paper and I would put packing tape over [TS]

  you know this is we still had the [TS]

  specter of nuclear war hanging over our [TS]

  head we had to be ready to jump into a [TS]

  bunker at any time oh I'm reading a book [TS]

  right now about the United States [TS]

  government's like the basically the cold [TS]

  war strategy for continuity of [TS]

  government and I'm the hole like where [TS]

  the plan started during the Truman [TS]

  administration like wait a minute [TS]

  if the Russians were to drop a bomb on [TS]

  the White House do we have a plan right [TS]

  for that and the answer was no why would [TS]

  we never had a plan like like like the [TS]

  first I think that somewhere in the book [TS]

  is a story like the first day of Harry [TS]

  Truman's presidency after FDR died [TS]

  they're like you're the president now [TS]

  and he was like great I'm going to the [TS]

  bank and he walked out the door of the [TS]

  White House and started walking to the [TS]

  bank where he had where he did his [TS]

  banking and and the Secret Service was [TS]

  like chasing after him and they shut [TS]

  down the street and suddenly all of [TS]

  Washington DC is like paralyzed because [TS]

  the president like snuck out a side door [TS]

  and went to the bank and didn't realize [TS]

  or didn't factor in that he couldn't do [TS]

  that he was already vice president how'd [TS]

  he not know that but as vice president [TS]

  in 19 in the 45 but like in the 40s like [TS]

  just because he wasn't he wasn't FDR's [TS]

  vice president until that that final [TS]

  term right until 40 44 44 and up until [TS]

  that point you know he'd been a senator [TS]

  in it so wait a minute if he was elected [TS]

  in 44 he came in January 45 so he'd only [TS]

  been that was April when Roosevelt [TS]

  thought it [TS]

  he was he was vice president for two [TS]

  months oh my goodness and then it's like [TS]

  oh you're the president now I if I knew [TS]

  that I forgot it that's super [TS]

  interesting it's really interesting and [TS]

  I think the story is that he can't that [TS]

  he got a message like Harry come over to [TS]

  the White House we need to talk to you [TS]

  and he said huh that's weird [TS]

  I've only seen the president twice since [TS]

  the election I wonder why I wonder what [TS]

  they want and he walked over to the [TS]

  White House and Eleanor Roosevelt was [TS]

  waiting for him oh my goodness [TS]

  and she was like Harry you're the [TS]

  president now and he's like shit I gotta [TS]

  go to the bank until the middle of the [TS]

  war there was no Secret Service [TS]

  protection for the vice president they [TS]

  didn't think it was necessary who would [TS]

  bother so he just walked around and then [TS]

  I think it was then they realized oh [TS]

  wait a minute he's the next in line and [TS]

  FDR could die any day we'd better put [TS]

  we'd better give him two agents you know [TS]

  to kind of make sure he doesn't get lost [TS]

  and and and Truman there's more like [TS]

  minders yeah and he was like get off me [TS]

  you know you get out of here kid you're [TS]

  bugging me but then he realized oh you [TS]

  can't do that anymore Harry you're the [TS]

  president but so this book yeah it's [TS]

  about all of the secret you know grass [TS]

  gradually and I I didn't know this [TS]

  either but there was a whole period in [TS]

  the late 40s early 50s where [TS]

  conventional wisdom in the United States [TS]

  seemed to be that our future as a [TS]

  country was going to involve us [TS]

  basically moving our industry [TS]

  underground because of the threat of [TS]

  nuclear war yeah yeah so that a [TS]

  seemingly survivable nuclear war that [TS]

  will let us continue to have milling [TS]

  machines underground for perpetuity [TS]

  that's right so they so government [TS]

  agents went around and did an enormous [TS]

  survey of all the caves in the United [TS]

  States and they were like well let's see [TS]

  if we just requisition all these caves [TS]

  if we eminent domain all these caves and [TS]

  we build like [TS]

  General Mills I guess it's real this is [TS]

  real dr. Strangelove in the mineshaft [TS]

  gap was not so far off no no no they [TS]

  were it was it was it there was a period [TS]

  there and I think it was I think [TS]

  depending on who you were talking to if [TS]

  the period was either long or short I [TS]

  think a lot of people in government who [TS]

  had actually seen the pictures of her [TS]

  Oshima were like oh wait a minute this [TS]

  is a lot worse than we thought there's [TS]

  nobody there's no surviving this yeah [TS]

  but they didn't really they didn't [TS]

  disseminate that to everybody and so [TS]

  there were a lot of people running [TS]

  around like well you know not just [TS]

  building bomb shelters but but but [TS]

  really envisioning that the entire [TS]

  country was going to move out from the [TS]

  cities get out of the center so that we [TS]

  weren't as easy a target and sort of you [TS]

  know like disseminate our business and [TS]

  and and manufacturing sort of out into [TS]

  the out into the woods the United States [TS]

  basically becomes a series of Horcruxes [TS]

  so we distribute everything and I've [TS]

  seen that that movie where they were [TS]

  sunglasses when they're watching Bikini [TS]

  Atoll we should be pretty good to go we [TS]

  dig a hole be hard it's three into [TS]

  Oklahoma and everything will be fine [TS]

  yeah there were actually real estate [TS]

  advertisements at the time for houses in [TS]

  upstate New York and southern Virginia [TS]

  that we're like you know this is a [TS]

  beautiful farm it's well outside the [TS]

  blast zone oh my god was this also run [TS]

  so I mean I there's gosh there's been so [TS]

  much presidential stuff floating around [TS]

  about just boy laws work like when did [TS]

  it is it officially like a law a rule [TS]

  policy for example that the President [TS]

  and Vice President don't fly together [TS]

  isn't that a thing so this happened [TS]

  circus it's that era is this was that [TS]

  era okay yeah that that that they [TS]

  realized that the this is when they [TS]

  developed those elaborate hierarchies [TS]

  where you know I mean it's on it I think [TS]

  it had always been that the that the [TS]

  Speaker of the House ascended to the [TS]

  presidency if you know that the [TS]

  President and the Vice President were [TS]

  finally codified like when interior [TS]

  comes into the picture yeah and this [TS]

  went all the way down to eventually what [TS]

  happened was if the Secretary of [TS]

  Interior dies there the guy that's [TS]

  running the Tennessee Valley Authority [TS]

  is next in line to become Secretary of [TS]

  the Interior in the future [TS]

  administration post apocalypse and [TS]

  somewhere down the line there there's [TS]

  like there's a list of succession that's [TS]

  like 60 people deep like that's insane [TS]

  like the mayor of Skokie Illinois [TS]

  becomes the President of the United [TS]

  States at some point if the 75 people [TS]

  ahead of him in line are at we're all [TS]

  vaporized and every single cabinet [TS]

  member also has this train of potential [TS]

  successors and in situations where the [TS]

  US gets on a real war footing all of [TS]

  those people know they're on that list [TS]

  and they get some like like like some [TS]

  telegram activating this like DEFCON 1 [TS]

  thing that it actually has a name like [TS]

  that like like con-com when when this [TS]

  set of conditions occurs this plan goes [TS]

  into action the word goes out we're now [TS]

  in space White House mode right and some [TS]

  of those people the Tennessee Valley [TS]

  Authority person or the person that is [TS]

  in charge of the Grand Coulee Dam like a [TS]

  federal agent or someone else empowered [TS]

  to do this shows up and becomes that [TS]

  person's bodyguard like we need to [TS]

  protect you sir like don't you can't go [TS]

  to the bank today because you are a [TS]

  forty second in line to be the Secretary [TS]

  of Housing in human welfare or whatever [TS]

  yeah so and so as the 50s wore on the [TS]

  government became less and less [TS]

  convinced and then less and less [TS]

  interested in this project of putting [TS]

  the American all of the American people [TS]

  underground and all of our industry they [TS]

  were like you know what [TS]

  this isn't gonna work this is really [TS]

  something very scalable no like Carl's [TS]

  brought the bad Canyon's we could put [TS]

  like it off you pretty I think it cave [TS]

  is pretty moist John it's how its moist [TS]

  it's disgusting it's dark it's there's [TS]

  not much parking no and where the where [TS]

  the potties where would you go where [TS]

  would you go out to smoke [TS]

  I'll think about that at the time that [TS]

  would have been a big issue not a huge [TS]

  issue what do you do you gonna go up the [TS]

  mine chef's you're gonna ride an [TS]

  elevator outside to have a but every 20 [TS]

  minutes I'll tell you what I'll go up [TS]

  your mind chef's fifties but so the [TS]

  government did not abandon this project [TS]

  when it came to themselves so they so [TS]

  basically they as far as the American [TS]

  people were concerned the government was [TS]

  like let's do that civil defense thing [TS]

  where we show them a lot of like [TS]

  cartoons kids ducking and covering and [TS]

  hey that was the extent of the plant oh [TS]

  and they built the interstate highways I [TS]

  guess in the internet and well [TS]

  eventually I mean is that in the book [TS]

  but isn't that at least the lore that I [TS]

  always heard was that what we could [TS]

  consider the Internet today started as a [TS]

  DARPA project to be able to maintain [TS]

  continuity of communication and [TS]

  structure after some kind of a [TS]

  devastating event yes right and that [TS]

  whole problem that so I'm I'm not that [TS]

  deep into the book but that all came [TS]

  after they realized oh wait a minute [TS]

  how are we going to like how are we [TS]

  going to stay in contact with the [TS]

  Department of the Navy if everything [TS]

  blows up how are we going to stay in [TS]

  contact with General Mills how are we [TS]

  gonna get our Captain Crunch and little [TS]

  by little you know they he got a you got [TS]

  a field promotion he's a colonel now [TS]

  Colonel crunch he'd be the captain is [TS]

  like a colonel right he'd be Admiral [TS]

  crime this is confusing so you think a [TS]

  hot guy hot guys a captain with two bars [TS]

  in the army but I believe a captain in [TS]

  the Navy is like a [TS]

  colonel or yeah full yeah full fuller [TS]

  colonel that's right okay so come on [TS]

  he'd become a would he become a [TS]

  brigadier general he would become a rear [TS]

  end he'd become rear admiral car things [TS]

  but so they continued to build secret [TS]

  installations for government people to [TS]

  survive the war caves and and [TS]

  underground bunkers not just the one [TS]

  from war games but like all over every [TS]

  single state has an underground bunker [TS]

  for the government people to escape to [TS]

  and all these elaborate plans and they [TS]

  have they have secret laminated cards [TS]

  that have not only the numbers of all [TS]

  their friends written on them but also [TS]

  dr. Strangelove were written and [TS]

  directed by Wes Anderson yeah right you [TS]

  get walkie-talkies you get laminated [TS]

  cards you get cool uniforms oh I bet I [TS]

  bet those what what is it's that [TS]

  Terminator movie the third one where [TS]

  they find that that bunker in the [TS]

  mountain right isn't that the third time [TS]

  I don't acknowledge that movie but that [TS]

  sounds like it could be right so and [TS]

  they go in and and the whole thing is [TS]

  decorated super mid-century multum at [TS]

  bachelor pad right right it's like it's [TS]

  like it's like the Playboy Mansion [TS]

  except like hardened against the ground [TS]

  has a real grotto and does that come in [TS]

  it okay no but it has a lot of a lot of [TS]

  hanging moss that came from the sweat [TS]

  and cigarette smoke of all those people [TS]

  in there coughing there'd be in that [TS]

  cave that wet air those pall malls farts [TS]

  have you been recently to a hotel that [TS]

  has not been upgraded from from times of [TS]

  your well I feel like I got I think you [TS]

  told I told you my sad tale of woe where [TS]

  I got stuck in [TS]

  where was I anyway I recently got stuck [TS]

  somewhere my flight got canceled had to [TS]

  stay overnight and you know I'm a [TS]

  Marriott man they put me up in a [TS]

  Marriott and I think it was that rare [TS]

  thing where I was in this Marriott [TS]

  probably right at the end of the cycle [TS]

  where the furniture is a little [TS]

  oversized and like brown wood and stuff [TS]

  it hadn't gotten that light look that [TS]

  you see in most hotels today right yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah I mean it always strikes me [TS]

  how much especially given how many [TS]

  basically old like disused SROs get [TS]

  turned into hotels now like it's weird [TS]

  what gets attention and what gets [TS]

  upgraded but yeah most of them seem like [TS]

  they've gotten an upgrade in the last [TS]

  10-15 years but do you still get [TS]

  somewhere there's like also the one you [TS]

  were at in San Francisco where there's [TS]

  bits of carpeting that had been replaced [TS]

  because probably blood total it's that [TS]

  was a total SRO a classic a classic [TS]

  hotel that probably until recently [TS]

  sure-sure down to a shared bathroom [TS]

  right well the rooms had bathrooms and [TS]

  and looked like bathrooms that had been [TS]

  there a long time but but almost [TS]

  certainly almost certainly 25 years ago [TS]

  if you walk down the halls of those of [TS]

  those floors it would smell like fried [TS]

  fish because people had that is not a [TS]

  very friendly thing to fry in an SRO oh [TS]

  my goodness oh my gosh she's gonna cling [TS]

  to every fiber and it's not gonna it's [TS]

  gonna be like close to like a bait fish [TS]

  quality probably like a lightly saute [TS]

  column and I've looked in it enough in [TS]

  enough doorways at a guy in an [TS]

  undershirt you know when I was 22 or [TS]

  whatever I didn't realize that the world [TS]

  was gonna change yeah cuz this looked [TS]

  like what did it what I what it looked [TS]

  like in the 50s you know until then [TS]

  until the 90s there were still in babies [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  but there were always like old guys in [TS]

  undershirts fryin fish on hot plates in [TS]

  single that would always be true I [TS]

  didn't realize that all those hotels [TS]

  would become a so tells and I just look [TS]

  at my phone trying to find where were we [TS]

  where were we when I met the guy from TV [TS]

  and we hung out and you got the nice [TS]

  room and I got the not nice room was [TS]

  that was that Portland guy from TV TV [TS]

  with the jaw I like James oh sure James [TS]

  Urbaniak I like that guy yeah that was [TS]

  the that was a classic hotel comedy but [TS]

  don't you be putting the bones down the [TS]

  sink that was the hotel room where I [TS]

  opened the door one time in there just a [TS]

  mystery well there was a single [TS]

  walkie-talkie lying in the center of the [TS]

  room I was like the beginning of an [TS]

  adventure and mine looked like I don't [TS]

  know like an updated version of the [TS]

  prisoner it was it was like it was a [TS]

  very very tidy cell yeah yeah put a TV [TS]

  in a hotel room John well because Lingus [TS]

  is that what it is like there's no place [TS]

  there's nope there's no drawers you can [TS]

  only hang your clothes basically you get [TS]

  throw pillows and kind of Lingus that's [TS]

  the whole thing right you go in there [TS]

  you're gonna wash your hands you might [TS]

  well sure you might want to brush your [TS]

  teeth but like is it because young [TS]

  people have so much sex they just want [TS]

  to get on the bed is that what it is cuz [TS]

  the bed is real central to the room no I [TS]

  think you come in you put yeah here's [TS]

  what you do you take your your dynamic [TS]

  abag you set it down you pull out your [TS]

  can of mustache wax cotton can of hair [TS]

  wax you can of eyebrow wax your hogs fat [TS]

  hair tonic you you untie your [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  the next thing it's gonna be oh sheikh [TS]

  is good artisanal handcrafted [TS]

  bindle yeah you let your hair deal it's [TS]

  gonna be your source neckerchief tied [TS]

  around an artisanal responsibly sourced [TS]

  stick that's right that's right well [TS]

  yeah like a like like a renewable stick [TS]

  renewables it's gonna be like that a [TS]

  hardwood flooring site on NPR it's gonna [TS]

  be all recovered hobo sticks that's [TS]

  right holy sticks that they found in a [TS]

  pile at the big hobo mass it's like it [TS]

  reduce like you don't you don't make a [TS]

  didgeridoo you find a didgeridoo okay so [TS]

  you go in the room you're ready for some [TS]

  kind of Lingus you take out your bindle [TS]

  you got so here was the philosophy [TS]

  initially you remember initially you [TS]

  first heard of boutique hotels well and [TS]

  artisanal anything oh okay right we're [TS]

  going all the way back workers set the [TS]

  set the Wayback Machine to all the way [TS]

  back to the first time you heard the [TS]

  word artisanal bread okay right all [TS]

  right now hearing about we actually have [TS]

  a loaf in our refrigerator right now [TS]

  that says artisan bread then I think [TS]

  bread if memory serves is the first [TS]

  thing where I heard somebody use that [TS]

  where they didn't mean like you're an [TS]

  artisan making wagon wheels you're not a [TS]

  Cooper you're not a Fletcher right an [TS]

  artisan bread right okay I think the [TS]

  first time I don't remember the first [TS]

  time I heard the word art artisanal but [TS]

  I do [TS]

  well the first time I'm saying was from [TS]

  you but I think I think I've really [TS]

  given that one some legs you sure did [TS]

  yeah I think the first time you said it [TS]

  I had I had about 30 seconds of like [TS]

  very slow thinking where I was like what [TS]

  but but so I dated I dated a gal in the [TS]

  90s who was part of that whole I've told [TS]

  you about her who was part of that whole [TS]

  take find jeans in Montana for 50 cents [TS]

  bring them to Seattle fine [TS]

  like old jeans for 50 cents at thrift [TS]

  stores in Montana bring them to Seattle [TS]

  sell them to a broker from Japan for [TS]

  $1,500 [TS]

  he will take those jeans to Japan and [TS]

  sell them for $15,000 really early on in [TS]

  this case pants minor she was and I know [TS]

  a guy who was a literal pants prospector [TS]

  and he made a fortune he bought himself [TS]

  a house just driving around Montana in [TS]

  that weird era where all these old guys [TS]

  were dying their old buckle back Levi's [TS]

  were going to the goodwill and and you [TS]

  could drive around and just go to good [TS]

  wills and just flip through stuff and be [TS]

  like oh check out these jeans they're [TS]

  worth $20,000 and I don't want to break [TS]

  the goof here how far off is that really [TS]

  how much were they were they charging [TS]

  for jeans in Japan like over $1,000 [TS]

  sometimes up to five figures and you got [TS]

  some really authentic 60s made in the [TS]

  USA a Jefferson Airplane era Levi's in [TS]

  the right condition with the right [TS]

  what's called Hin gauging J jeans okay [TS]

  he gave you're gonna you're gonna be [TS]

  able to move that up to five figures I [TS]

  mean right now if you find a pair of of [TS]

  sixties biggie Levi's you can sell them [TS]

  online for good good money but there was [TS]

  there was a bubble in that market just [TS]

  like there was a time when when a 1959 [TS]

  Les Paul I mean there were 59 Les Paul's [TS]

  that were selling for a million dollars [TS]

  that's not true oh I see bubble yes yes [TS]

  said you know what yes yes yes yes [TS]

  they're like a tulip type situation yeah [TS]

  so there was a while where it felt like [TS]

  so yeah right here I have a pair of [TS]

  vintage 50's biggie Levi's for $5,500 Oh [TS]

  jiminy on Etsy we've got let's see [TS]

  now those are from nineteen so this pair [TS]

  of jeans from 1987 is $250 like this [TS]

  world still exists there's a nice pair [TS]

  of vintage men's Levi's xx great [TS]

  acid-wash jeans mmm they're after $4.99 [TS]

  so you can just pick those right up [TS]

  acid-wash jeans can you believe that 32 [TS]

  36 that's a slender to kind of taller [TS]

  fella but there were these but but the [TS]

  even older Levi's the ones that had like [TS]

  a buckle in the back okay were were [TS]

  super prized among the the like fashion [TS]

  cognoscenti in Tokyo and and I don't [TS]

  think you can still get that kind of [TS]

  money but this friend of mine who did [TS]

  this work who drove around Montana he [TS]

  said I have my retirement and my like my [TS]

  escape bag mice might keep a small bag [TS]

  packed yeah under my bed I have two [TS]

  pairs of jeans in this bag that if I [TS]

  need to I can live off of he sure [TS]

  wouldn't trust it to a bank no it's [TS]

  under his bed you know there's a famous [TS]

  story of a woman that was out in the [TS]

  outing the sort of outside of Sacramento [TS]

  and she was just out in the gold country [TS]

  they call it gold country and she found [TS]

  a mineshaft that was just sort of open [TS]

  and she walked in just touristing you [TS]

  know just like pooping around boopity [TS]

  boop and kind of walked into the mine a [TS]

  little bit maybe further than you would [TS]

  do if you weren't bold and turned a [TS]

  corner and there was a table and there [TS]

  was a pair of jeans on them that were [TS]

  like a old patch two pair of jeans and [TS]

  she pulled him out of there and was like [TS]

  oh look at these you know look at these [TS]

  old great jeans and they'd been patched [TS]

  and whatnot and she brought him out and [TS]

  they're the oldest pair of Levi's like [TS]

  oldest surviving pair the oldest pair no [TS]

  one at Levi's had ever seen them and she [TS]

  brought them in and they became like [TS]

  these talismanic pants that [TS]

  you know that were just the earth right [TS]

  right but so that was my first [TS]

  experience of understanding that there [TS]

  was value in something that wasn't an [TS]

  antique but was you know like a soft [TS]

  good and it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't [TS]

  clear where the value actually was other [TS]

  than scarcity I guess scarcity also it's [TS]

  interesting how I mean guess this is [TS]

  obvious but it also sets a new bar in [TS]

  some ways where you think about like oh [TS]

  wow it's almost like breaking a record [TS]

  right like where somebody breaks a [TS]

  record and breaks it by like more than [TS]

  5% you're like wow we're capable of much [TS]

  more than we realized [TS]

  and so that might kind of reset the [TS]

  market a little bit cuz now people can [TS]

  go oh are there more of these out there [TS]

  should we should we go a little bit [TS]

  deeper into the cave and see if there's [TS]

  some special pants that's exactly right [TS]

  and I remember sitting at her because I [TS]

  would sit and watch her do her job and [TS]

  people would come in with a big stack of [TS]

  Levi's did you get bring it I for that [TS]

  oh you get a really good eye and she had [TS]

  this she already had that that attitude [TS]

  you know she had really really dark [TS]

  brown hair and she dyed it black she [TS]

  dyed it black for no reason like it was [TS]

  already as brown as brown could be and [TS]

  she was like black dark dark red [TS]

  lipstick and she would sit and smoke [TS]

  cigarettes behind the counter where she [TS]

  worked and people would say I got all [TS]

  these Levi's and she would she would [TS]

  flip through them with such disdain [TS]

  we're so attracted this woman I haven't [TS]

  met the person on the other side would [TS]

  just feel so bad for themselves for [TS]

  bringing this stack of jeans down to her [TS]

  and thanks but no thanks for these but I [TS]

  will take this pair and you're just like [TS]

  wow she was one of those people that had [TS]

  the ability to go to a thrift store buy [TS]

  a puffy coat and make it seem like it [TS]

  was from the future mm-hmm it's like how [TS]

  did you make that seem like it's from [TS]

  the future that's like a mom coat from [TS]

  1981 and she's just like I don't know [TS]

  man that's a gift yeah why are you [TS]

  talking to me and it's like I'm your [TS]

  boyfriend yeah yeah I'm an idol to talk [TS]

  to you but so I think the premise as we [TS]

  moved into the whole thing [TS]

  moved into the whole thing [TS]

  like well these boots admittedly these [TS]

  boots are $500 the premise was that [TS]

  you'd only need one pair right mm-hmm [TS]

  right it was it was that yes things that [TS]

  are made in America things that are made [TS]

  by hand are gonna be a lot more [TS]

  expensive this is how you get to the [TS]

  artisan thing you're here this is how [TS]

  you get okay so it's gonna be a lot more [TS]

  expensive but where you're already used [TS]

  to paying thirty five hundred dollars [TS]

  for a pair of baggy jeans if you're [TS]

  anybody you're just making that mental [TS]

  transition you're not gonna have seven [TS]

  pairs of these boots you're gonna have [TS]

  one mm-hm and then just sit with that [TS]

  for a second you're just gonna need one [TS]

  just one just one it's gonna be very [TS]

  expensive but it's all you need is the [TS]

  one it's like finding the one true beard [TS]

  go yeah yeah that's all you need you're [TS]

  gonna have one can of mustache wax not [TS]

  four and that idea like I remember it [TS]

  kind of reverberating it actually it it [TS]

  hit the top pair of Levi's in the stack [TS]

  of 40 pairs of Levi's I hadn't had [TS]

  reverberating all the way down to the [TS]

  bottom and I was like wait I only need [TS]

  one pair of Levi's I think that's wrong [TS]

  I think I need all these maybe I don't [TS]

  need all these Levi's right but I [TS]

  definitely need more than one pair and [TS]

  then that was all of a sudden there was [TS]

  denim that was made at the that the [TS]

  white cone mill in being oz back [TS]

  Tennessee or whatever in roz but [TS]

  whatever [TS]

  Carolina it's like oh man these jeans [TS]

  are five hundred dollars but you only [TS]

  need one yeah jeans are tough now if [TS]

  it's a top hat one one really nice [TS]

  artisanal time pad yeah don't wonder [TS]

  from a small batch Tennessee top but I [TS]

  think when they check into those [TS]

  fisherman's hotel it's all coming [TS]

  together now you know what it would be [TS]

  embarrassing don't don't embarrass me [TS]

  don't embarrass [TS]

  self by giving me the fucking drawers [TS]

  what am I gonna put in drawers I have [TS]

  one pair of pants on the top hat yeah [TS]

  you open the door to your room [TS]

  there's no TV there's a walkie-talkie on [TS]

  the floor there's two hangers and [TS]

  there's a little Larry source neatly [TS]

  sourced hangers locally-sourced hangers [TS]

  that are carved out of out of [TS]

  prehistoric whale bone uh-huh [TS]

  you hang your one jacket that cost [TS]

  $1,200 on it you put your artisanal [TS]

  boots on the floor and then you lay back [TS]

  and read your artisanal book you know [TS]

  anyone you don't take a few jacket your [TS]

  jacket is one of those like bandleader [TS]

  ones right there's there's no jacket [TS]

  required you're walking around you're [TS]

  one pair of pants you get your band well [TS]

  what do you call that kind of jacket [TS]

  like an atom and jacket there's a name [TS]

  for that yeah I would say it was the it [TS]

  was the what is the Buddhists ik guy [TS]

  what is he called he's the covered this [TS]

  damn ant vest [TS]

  what's the address best called it's a [TS]

  collar jacket you got the knot [TS]

  bandleader it's good it's a sergeant [TS]

  major the something major the drum major [TS]

  yeah but there's a name for that [TS]

  particular vest you talked about the one [TS]

  with the multiple but the Frog ings and [TS]

  stuff on it and they got the Frog in his [TS]

  waistcoat they call it a waistcoat in [TS]

  England to make it even more confusing [TS]

  how they do oh man there's so much [TS]

  vintage out of man stuff look at all of [TS]

  this you can get it Bonaparte hat [TS]

  we call him Bonaparte cause we're still [TS]

  mad at me we're against him we're [TS]

  against him not for it I'm the one that [TS]

  needs to adjust I need to get out of [TS]

  this mindset I have I'm gonna bring [TS]

  seven pairs of me undies for the two [TS]

  days that I'm there I need one pair of [TS]

  underwear I need one grand master jacket [TS]

  with frogging x' a 31 top hat and even [TS]

  though I don't have a mustache I should [TS]

  probably bring some some mustache soils [TS]

  you can use it on your eyebrows okay if [TS]

  you get one of those pairs of Mac weld [TS]

  and silver Underpants yeah those aren't [TS]

  cheap but you can wear those day in and [TS]

  day out because the silver will [TS]

  anesthetize the buck [TS]

  the antimicrobial silver add the [TS]

  microbial yeah our thanks to hellofresh [TS]

  for supporting this episode of Roderick [TS]

  on the line hello fresh hello yeah [TS]

  Froggy's I I was in the market for this [TS]

  kind of thing not very long ago as I was [TS]

  compiling my King Neptune outfit yeah [TS]

  and I contacted a man in Canada because [TS]

  what I really wanted was a jacket from [TS]

  the Royal Canadian Mounted Police but [TS]

  what I learned is that the Royal [TS]

  Canadian Mounted Police iconic red [TS]

  jacket is not only copyrighted by the [TS]

  Royal Canadian Mounted Police but you [TS]

  never owned your Mountie jacket when [TS]

  you're a Mountie you are only in Lent [TS]

  you're just inhabiting it for the for [TS]

  the role for the that's right [TS]

  because duty the jacket is is sacrosanct [TS]

  and just like the way you refer to the [TS]

  Queen you've got the Queen but the Queen [TS]

  is different from the throne right and [TS]

  you got a pope but that's different than [TS]

  the Vatican or the papacy there's this [TS]

  thing that's bigger than you that you're [TS]

  just inhabitant in that case it's a red [TS]

  coat yeah you got the Pope over here [TS]

  yeah it's like getting a soup right the [TS]

  jacket the the emblem of the Mounties is [TS]

  is a thing that when you're done being a [TS]

  Mountie you give the jacket back so you [TS]

  don't see Canadian punk rockers out [TS]

  rolling around in old Mountie jackets [TS]

  with the big energy it's not like West [TS]

  Germany green jackets that are just [TS]

  everywhere no it's not and so I am I was [TS]

  up in the Canadian internet I don't know [TS]

  if you've ever been to it that's the [TS]

  dossier [TS]

  yeah and it's um but you know there's [TS]

  it's almost like a fully functioning [TS]

  internet up that's a lot friendlier [TS]

  but I'm up there and I'm like look I [TS]

  want one of these and they're like sorry [TS]

  hmm and then I found a guy outside of [TS]

  Ottawa who as far as I could tell lives [TS]

  in a shipping container okay and he's a [TS]

  very friendly man he actually wanted to [TS]

  talk on the phone quite a bit and [TS]

  because he was helping me I indulged him [TS]

  in this and I spoke to him on the phone [TS]

  for a long time and heard all about his [TS]

  many adventures driving a truck in the [TS]

  Yukon Territories and living in a big [TS]

  house with a lot of friends that he [TS]

  doesn't have anymore [TS]

  but one thing he does have is a small [TS]

  collection of jackets which were used in [TS]

  the Royal Canadian Mounted Police [TS]

  Academy oh pretty good and they are in a [TS]

  lot of ways fancier than Royal Canadian [TS]

  Mounted Police [TS]

  normal tunics they're called tunics by [TS]

  the way okay [TS]

  and because they're like cadet jackets [TS]

  right it's not like you're the rank and [TS]

  file these are the these are the [TS]

  hotshots so they've got a lot of gold [TS]

  braids on them and I don't even know if [TS]

  the if that Academy still makes them [TS]

  wear these jackets but somehow the fact [TS]

  that they were cadet jackets meant that [TS]

  there was a loophole and he had some and [TS]

  I wanted that also you're you're not as [TS]

  far as I know Canadian so are you are [TS]

  you on or bound are you stealing [TS]

  Canadian valour by wearing that because [TS]

  it seems to me if you're from a [TS]

  different country you should be able to [TS]

  get the real deal well but this is the [TS]

  thing they're not letting him go they're [TS]

  not letting him go the scarcity begins [TS]

  scarcity yeah you serve at the pleasure [TS]

  of the President [TS]

  Yeah right like gifts for the Queen who [TS]

  works for the crown it's all that it's [TS]

  all that stuff all that stuff that [TS]

  government stuff that my dad used to [TS]

  have around when he was working for the [TS]

  federal government that would say like [TS]

  when you're done using this pencil [TS]

  return it to the federal government [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  anyway so this guy very unusual person [TS]

  and and these jackets had an unusual [TS]

  sizing system and he and I were [TS]

  negotiating [TS]

  what what jackets he had and he I said [TS]

  listen just send me the biggest tallest [TS]

  one you have I know there are big tall [TS]

  Mounties but I'm not willing to take [TS]

  chances so send me the biggest tallest [TS]

  one you have well the jacket arrived and [TS]

  it was neither big nor tall but it was [TS]

  the biggest one he had and so what I [TS]

  have Merlin is a mount is a of 60s Royal [TS]

  Canadian Mounted Police Academy jacket [TS]

  how long is it well I think it would fit [TS]

  you perfectly oh my god but I don't want [TS]

  to give you things that you don't want [TS]

  right because because there are all [TS]

  these people trying to give you things [TS]

  you don't want I have a whole closet [TS]

  full of things I'm supposed to give you [TS]

  at some point but here is this thing if [TS]

  you wore this around you would be so [TS]

  adamant fancy there's no one in America [TS]

  that has one it's called a hazhar a [TS]

  huzzah search for hu s SAR hu s s AR but [TS]

  isn't aren't I gonna get a bunch of Hot [TS]

  Topic stuff here no I think you'll be [TS]

  safe I think it's hard to knowing you [TS]

  know your Google is not my Google your [TS]

  grandma is not my grandma you know so so [TS]

  try try try googling it and then you get [TS]

  some mannequin in a hussar Oh hussar [TS]

  Azhar it looks like for fifteen hundred [TS]

  dollars you can get this one Napoleonic [TS]

  Wars Dolman [TS]

  it's a French hussar Dolman more [TS]

  specific Sha Tsui I just literally this [TS]

  week really [TS]

  Dolman is the kind of sleeve I learned [TS]

  about on Project Runway Dolman is a kind [TS]

  of sleeve you can you learn about on [TS]

  Project Runway I'll be kind of sleep you [TS]

  learned about on Project Runway hussar [TS]

  hazhar as how did you learn about it and [TS]

  why oh because they were talking about [TS]

  making a Dolman sleeve and they said [TS]

  they're kind of tired of seeing that [TS]

  look and they want to see them doing [TS]

  something else it's not in black what is [TS]

  a Dolman sleeve I think it's where it's [TS]

  part of the eyes I don't know exactly [TS]

  but I'm not gonna look it up because I [TS]

  don't screw up my search history I got [TS]

  his are in there I don't wanna mess [TS]

  myself up I think it's when you gotta [TS]

  front to back and the sleeve is implied [TS]

  by the general shape of the garment it's [TS]

  not like a separate sleeve that you sew [TS]

  on whyphy and now I'll find out if I'm [TS]

  right [TS]

  what is it called Dolman Dolman now why [TS]

  did I not know but was the problem with [TS]

  the problem is that there's a lot of [TS]

  steampunk overlap here hmm and the [TS]

  steampunk overlap anytime I'm walking [TS]

  through the world and I walk into any [TS]

  kind of Venn diagram that is like [TS]

  overlapping a steampunk Venn diagram I [TS]

  tread very carefully it's a little bit [TS]

  like Juggalos where like there's a [TS]

  certain amount where you have like a [TS]

  kind of awe and respect but you don't [TS]

  you don't necessarily want to be a [TS]

  Juggalo you've got to be careful that [TS]

  you just state Juggalo adjacent yeah [TS]

  right and and with steampunk like I like [TS]

  leather [TS]

  I like brass sure I like gold braids you [TS]

  would love to have a leather typewriter [TS]

  I like little tinker II things yesterday [TS]

  I was at one of those I was walking [TS]

  through one of those little towns where [TS]

  the and it's a here in Washington it's a [TS]

  little town on the ocean that has a [TS]

  store that's basically selling old [TS]

  fishing net there's a guy was literally [TS]

  a corncob pipe that's meant selling old [TS]

  net but then but then the town is is [TS]

  trying to decide whether it wants to get [TS]

  fancy or not or whether it even can get [TS]

  fancy okay [TS]

  and so there's a little store where [TS]

  there's a guy selling cigars but he also [TS]

  sells like nada que Lea hmm and I can [TS]

  put that up in your seaman's hotel I [TS]

  can't resist it right so I'm in there [TS]

  I'm looking at old barometers and I'm [TS]

  like how many barometers can a person [TS]

  have in their house but you get some [TS]

  really nice giant ass compasses you get [TS]

  big compasses right nautical nice [TS]

  nautical compasses really polished [TS]

  really you know like I said like I want [TS]

  a sextant I don't even know why oh you [TS]

  could use a sextant I bet you could pick [TS]

  that up in a weekend but this is really [TS]

  reckoning distances like by Sunday what [TS]

  I don't want though is to have a chance [TS]

  to have more stuff in my house that is [TS]

  steampunk adjacent because I already [TS]

  have a lot oh yeah yeah yeah you know [TS]

  when you put it all into one place [TS]

  yeah tells a different story than you [TS]

  want to tell so I find this walk give a [TS]

  deep sea diving suit no okay have you [TS]

  ever wondered what it's no real a suit [TS]

  no no no no no really it's too big [TS]

  well too big okay do I want one yes but [TS]

  am I too claustrophobic [TS]

  yes oh I just meant to hang there no but [TS]

  if it was there I would want to put it [TS]

  on put it on a panic attack put it back [TS]

  you might be like I gotta put that on [TS]

  act of steampunk self-immolation I have [TS]

  12 different Stetson fedoras and I would [TS]

  never wear one outside but I wear them [TS]

  around the house all day now and I'll [TS]

  see another I'll see a fedora like [TS]

  across the room and I'm wearing one and [TS]

  I'll walk over and I'll take the one I [TS]

  have on off and all the place oh the [TS]

  other one too [TS]

  you gotta have two threes too two is one [TS]

  one is none you know like I want a [TS]

  shoulder holster yeah what I really [TS]

  wearing it wearing my pistol under my [TS]

  blender my Levi's best in case you got a [TS]

  pistol with a punk but I realized I [TS]

  think probably back then that and and [TS]

  then this entire show the entire history [TS]

  of Roderick on the line all points to [TS]

  one thing which is that I should never [TS]

  ever ever carry a concealed weapon [TS]

  interesting because I'm an eight I'm a [TS]

  natural-born Sheriff hmm and all those [TS]

  dummies out there carrying you know like [TS]

  carrying pistols are all and it was a [TS]

  lot of are not even officers they're not [TS]

  at all they think of themselves as [TS]

  sheriff's too but the problem is I know [TS]

  I'm a sheriff and if I was carrying a [TS]

  gun around [TS]

  I would be sheriffing all the fucking [TS]

  time and that is not what the world [TS]

  needs there is not a single parking lot [TS]

  that you attend to that would go on [TS]

  sheriff [TS]

  I would sheriff I would I'd be [TS]

  sheriffing everybody I'd be like one of [TS]

  those Australian Shepherds who's like [TS]

  every time he tries to run kids talking [TS]

  to the air you grab their pants with [TS]

  your teeth you pull him back in New York [TS]

  that's you yeah that's you with a pistol [TS]

  in the parking lot yeah that's not what [TS]

  I mean froggy went a-courtin and he did [TS]

  ride but I do want a shoulder holster [TS]

  and I'm not sure what to put in it [TS]

  obviously oh no I'm not gonna be my [TS]

  phone I think what it should be as well [TS]

  a collapsible brass telescope [TS]

  oh no you to travel sextant you only [TS]

  need one but I don't wanna know and so [TS]

  here I am I'm looking at these huh Sarge [TS]

  jackets huh huh and I'm like oh I really [TS]

  like that oh that's fun that's fun stuff [TS]

  really fun [TS]