Hello Internet

H.I. #93: Mr. Chompers


  we drive the listeners crazy because we

  love them I do never cease being

  surprised by how bad your spelling is

  behind the Saints it seems like it's not

  your luck strongest suit

  I would say that spelling is is perhaps

  perhaps my weakest suit way better at

  socializing at big parties probably way

  better at skydiving than I am at

  spelling my method of spelling words is

  just typed quickly right just type

  quickly whatever comes into your head

  first there what I'm about to say of

  course of course as a former teacher I

  would never endorse let students do what

  I'm about to say that I I did when I was

  a student but when I was back in like

  high school and middle school I would

  cheat the hell out of spelling tests how

  do you would you check one of the years

  I had a homeroom class that then rolled

  over into an English class and so I

  would I would be able to just write very

  lightly in pencil some of the the

  spelling words that I knew were going to

  be on the test or like the likely

  spelling words that were going to be on

  the test or it concealed them somewhere

  else you know I think most industrious

  kids now if you really put your mind to

  it it's not super hard to cheat if

  you're not in a standardized test

  environment and there's any kind of

  regularity to it but here's the thing

  the reason I felt no guilt about

  cheating is because I could only cheat

  my way to like a 50 percent score right

  if I wasn't cheating I would get like a

  20 percent score on the spelling it

  would have been atrocious but if I had

  cheated my way into like oh wow I got a

  got an 80 percent this week it would be

  way too obvious right there like I would

  have been caught for cheating

  immediately because it would be so

  obvious that there's no way this kid

  actually did it so I felt like I cheated

  myself into a less bad failing grade to

  try to not entirely pull down my grade

  average for the class on a whole so that

  was my history with spelling in school


  normally between you and I there is a

  one-way flow of

  pictures of cute puppies I often send

  you pictures of Audrey and Lulu in

  action and stuff like that mm-hmm

  but everything has changed you have been

  sending me videos and pictures of you

  playing with a super super cute dog what

  is going on tell people what is

  happening in your world

  what is happening in my world is not

  what the listeners are probably

  imagining I have not gotten a dog the

  gray family has no intention to get a

  dog but we make decisions not promises

  for our future selves but you know for

  the moment we've decided that we're not

  gonna get a dog hmm but but we talked

  our way into dog sitting our neighbors

  new puppy I have been like it like a

  stay at home doggy dad for the past week

  taking care of a little Bulldog breed

  puppy who is very cute and I feel like

  someone who has a baby and then can't

  help but just send photos of the baby to

  everyone in the world I think I have

  sent photos and videos of this little

  dog to lots of people lots of people

  like on social boundaries it's like

  should I really be sending this person

  the picture of the dog like I'm what the

  dog is so cute like what I can't not

  send this photograph so yeah there's

  been there's been an exodus of dog

  photos and videos from my phone to many

  other people so I can see how your wife

  would get herself into dog sitting I

  cannot see how you would have agreed to

  this it seems like that it seems like

  something you wouldn't do like like you

  know you're a nice guy and right stuff

  but I can't say you agreeing to dog shit

  like someone else's dog okay so okay I

  have to ask you this because when I have

  sent out these pictures to people I have

  gotten universal feedback which is

  exactly exactly what you're expressing

  which is I don't understand why or how

  you've agreed to this and to me I feel

  like my only response is what do you

  mean why would someone agreed like I can

  barely understand like what what do you

  think is the reason that I wouldn't do

  this well

  it's such an encroachment upon your time

  and your space for something that is not

  yours and like I know you've been

  involved it's not just like you've just

  been keeping an eye on it you've been

  like training it you know trying to make

  it a better dog a better puppy very

  important it sounds like it's been you

  know and I know it's encroached on your

  ability to do other things in your

  normal course of your day you've made it

  sound like it's you know becoming real

  a big thing in your life for whatever

  period you're doing this for and that

  just seems like something that you would

  be reluctant to agree to you know you

  you are so you know organized and set in

  your ways and like to organize your time

  and you're quite like a self-contained

  unit this is drew like you don't seem

  like someone who does lots and lots of

  things for the benefit of other people

  and yet this dog-sitting thing goes

  against that and I get you get like you

  know some fun times and cuteness out of

  it but I wouldn't have thought that

  would have been enough to have overcome

  all your other traits I guess I can see

  that on the other hand puppies are great

  yeah my parents mostly let it but I

  helped out with the training of Lucy my

  parents dog when she was a little puppy

  and that was that was the first time I

  ever had any experience doing formal dog

  training and so like I found that a

  really interesting experience and as

  I've mentioned many times on the podcast

  like a helpful experience and looking

  back now you do talk about that Cesar

  Millan show a lot don't you and like you

  have got a bit of an interest in dog

  training now I think about it

  yeah like actually we can we can revisit

  that in a moment but but so like this

  this to me is now like another little

  step up of the ratchet where it's like

  oh now there's a dog that I have total

  responsibility for for huge portions of

  the day and so that that's a very

  different level of behavior training and

  I like I personally just find that very

  interesting but but I will say you are

  100% right when you talk about an

  encroachment into my life because in the

  in the main room of our house the room

  where we have the kitchen and I like a

  couch in space to watch TV the main

  living area of the house 40% of that

  floor space is now taken up by a doggy

  pen that we

  not for this dog dog sitting which

  contains within it a doggy bed and many

  doggy toys we also got a harness for the

  little dog and leash we've purchased

  many many things for this popper

  so just oh yeah oh my god yeah my

  commitment is this are you just doing

  something temporarily while they went to

  like Europe for a week or is this while

  they go to their job everyday you've

  said I will care for your dog during the

  day while you do your normal job every

  day of your life so basically I'm taking

  care of the dog during the day this is

  what we've signed up for is the puppy is

  very very young he's about 10 weeks old

  now what's his name I mean for the

  privacy sake for the dog I don't want to

  give his name that's true that's true

  safety grey safety yeah I'm gonna call

  him mr. chompers because he chomps on

  absolutely everything and that's that is

  the number one behavior that we're

  working on right now is that mr.

  chompers has to get less Chompy is mr.

  chompers chomping your personal


  no no he's very good about that actually

  mr. chompers favorite thing to chomp our

  hands I would count your hands as your

  personal possessions but I see what you

  made how they're just they're just part

  of the meat sack that I live in that's a

  very different thing but yes and mr.

  chompers we're doing lots of redirection

  you know you chew on toys and it's great

  to see him learn over time that can

  change his behavior like I find that

  very rewarding I was like the most proud

  father in the world the very first day

  when he went on his own and picked up

  one of his chew toys instead of having

  to be directed towards the chew toy like

  this is very very young puppy behavior

  where they're just you know yeah it's

  very hard to train them at this stage

  but no I'm taking care of him during the

  day and I will say that I suspect right

  that we were like angels from heaven

  descended upon these neighbors of ours

  with their dog because they had taken a

  bunch of time off work to be around mr.

  chompers and then they had to go back to

  work and they were trying to arrange

  like some things with their other family

  and like daycare Scituate and like a

  whole bunch of other stuff and then we

  showed up like hey I work from home I

  couldn't look after mr. chompers ed is

  like and I'm more more than happy yank


  I needed to help out with the training

  while he's a little puppy for a while so

  but how did you get out of this now like

  at what point do you say okay I'm not

  having a dog anymore have you put any

  kind of expiration date on this

  agreement or yeah the implied expiration

  date is just when he's old enough to

  actually be able to be left alone for

  some period of time like he's just he's

  he's too young as a puppy to be on its

  own all day so like they have to do

  something with him and so and so this

  way like he doesn't have to go you know

  into like a doggy daycare facility for

  the day I can I can just go I can just

  go pick him up bring him to my place

  drop him off and then and then have this

  little puppy be essentially an

  all-consuming focus of my life for the

  entire day it's it's exhausting it's

  genuinely exhausted is there any concern

  you're gonna get into one of these like

  cliched sort of surrogate mother type

  positions when they say okay it's time

  for us to have our dog back and you're

  gonna be like your dog I'm the one who's

  brought it up and told it to tourism no

  no but see see this is this is the thing

  that nobody understands right this is

  the best way to have a dog is the

  ability to give him back at the end of

  the day or like this weekend right we

  don't have we don't have mr. chompers

  this weekend because he is with his

  actual parents he's like oh wow my wife

  and I now have like look at this look at

  all of this space we have we can

  collapse the whole the whole dog pen

  situation we can put it off to the side

  we can just relax it's great like I feel

  like this is this is what this is what

  Brady grandparents are always talking

  about right with their like Oh grandkids

  are better than real kids because you

  get to give the grandchildren back but

  you also get to spend some time with the

  grandkids but do you find yourself

  sitting around ever thinking wow I wish

  mr. chompers was here we do wonder what

  mr. chompers is up to right yeah I

  wonder what he's doing right now we've

  definitely reviewed mr. chompers videos

  that we've taken and photographs because

  Brady at this age they grow up so fast

  like he's legitimately bigger every day

  and now that I will I will not have seen

  him for a long weekend when I see mr.

  chompers tomorrow he's gonna he's gonna

  be he's gonna be so much bigger already

  you have to give to cherish the time

  that you have with them when they're

  young are you dealing with Poe and we oh

  yeah yeah we have in the

  house yeah we're doing pedal pads like

  he's not he's not potty trained yet so

  we're doing the piddle pads on the floor

  for now so we have that all we have that

  laid out a little dog goes through

  mountains of Biddle pads so yeah that's

  that's it yeah you had to pick up a /

  yeah yeah I picked up poo that's what

  you do with dogs oh man I would I will

  pay you 50 pounds for a video of you

  picking up a poo why I just can't

  imagine you doing it we want one of

  those little dog poo bag dispensers in

  the shape of a bone right so you can

  pull out a little dog poop bag yeah yeah

  you know what I'm talking about the kind

  in cross yeah so yeah we've just got one

  of those

  yeah I take I take mr. chompers out for

  walks we're trying to train him to go to

  the bathroom outside and say yeah you

  pick up poo that that's what you do with

  with fill dogs

  if tagine have to organize and mr.

  chompers Audrey playdate

  oh yeah does she do well with other dogs

  depends on the dog hmm she's quite

  territorial but away from home she's

  pretty friendly with all dogs in her

  Park only certain dogs are allowed right

  of course of course I forget that Audrey

  does own that Park it is it does say on

  away from her away from home she's

  pretty cool with old dogs and she gets

  used to any dog within about a minute

  well you know socializing is an

  important part of a puppy life but this

  is absolutely not moved your own

  personal needle for getting a dog at

  some point oh you know I can see at some

  point in the future we get a dog I don't

  see it in the near future for a whole

  variety of reasons and and again

  everybody says to me they're like oh you

  know oh you you've adopted somebody

  else's dog essentially during the day

  like you're gonna you're gonna have a

  dog within weeks and and my my view on

  this is the exact opposite we are in

  fact satiating our doggy needs right we

  are not amplifying doggy native we'll

  say once you're mr. chompers excess is

  no longer on tap you may feel


  hot stoppers I don't think we've got to

  the endgame yet but I have now activated

  the section of the hello Internet

  patreon page so that any existing

  patrons and any future patrons

  can provide a postal address like they

  can fill in a postal address section now

  and if they decide to do so it's a

  voluntary thing obviously but if they

  decide to do so they will be going into

  a specially devised semi random ballot

  and I will occasionally be sending out

  random hot stoppers to people and they

  would arrive unexpectedly like a like a

  gift from Santa Claus I will not be

  emailing or informing people that they

  are coming right

  partly because I like the surprise mmm

  and partly because if I did do that and

  then for some reason someone's gets lost

  in the post right I get back to that

  original problem that I'm trying to

  avoid administration so you would not

  know it's coming right now we get back

  to fulfillment problems yeah exactly

  even though it's like a free gift people

  will still get upset if I email them and

  say you've got one coming hmm and it

  doesn't arrive so I'm not doing that I

  think that's great

  remind me brainy there's a thing I want

  to talk to you after the show after

  we're done recording about about that

  about what to do with X I've been

  thinking some learn something along

  those lines but it you had to say it was

  very interesting reading through the

  feedback I always really liked it to see

  all all the feedback in the reddit and

  people coming up with ideas about what

  to do I'm gonna stay away from any

  specific solutions right now but what I

  will say my general feeling reading

  through people's ideas is I was aware I

  was aware of myself getting pulled

  toward and sort of repelled away from

  two kinds of ideas I really liked all

  the ideas that people had that were just

  fun ideas like some people came up with

  some fun possibly impractical and maybe

  not really doable ideas but just like

  fun things what could you do with a

  thousand hot Stoppers right and people

  came up with great ideas and I just

  found it interesting that even though my

  question was help us solve this economic

  problem last time I found myself

  repelled away a little bit from the

  actual solutions to this problem like

  there were a couple of really good

  write-ups where people were going

  through like oh here here's how you can

  solve this problem in in a in a very

  efficient way and just thought no I

  think these are these are whimsical hot

  Stoppers I agree I think they should be

  used in some kind of fun way I also

  think a lot of

  the suggestions I read indicated to me

  that people hadn't really understood the

  problem mmm and they were saying I don't

  know this is it this is an easy problem

  just like set this price and do this and

  organize this distribution person and

  like they just then outlined a solution

  which was the exact thing I was trying

  to avoid which was a whole big thing

  right so it's still it's still

  unresolved you've got yours now though I

  did send you some yes what do you what

  are your thoughts now that you've seen

  them in the in the real life flesh I

  absolutely love that istick they're not

  actually made of flesh of course dude

  that would be weird not stoppers if that

  if a ki fingers I'd opened up an

  envelope and gotten some flesh based on

  Stoppers I don't think we would

  recording this podcast right now I think

  our relationship would be terminated

  least a chump is would have liked him

  you know we can't train mr. jumpers on

  human flesh that's the be very much

  against the training that we're working

  very hard with with him all right

  there's no joking about mr. choppers

  training sorry it's absolutely serious

  no it's great it's great seeing them as

  a whole big bunch and I feel like it it

  it compels the mind with fun ideas

  seeing a big a big bunch of hot stoppers

  like that have you actually used one

  though to stop hotness I have not yet

  used one to stop hotness I promise when

  I do when I do use a the first hot

  stopper to stop hotness I'll post it up

  on on Twitter or on my second channel

  somewhere so so people can see the

  virgin use of a hot stopper so many

  people have responded to it I guess we

  should just shout out to all the people

  who had something to say about our

  discussion last episode about the

  astronauts dressing up for Halloween oh

  man I've got to say yeah there was a

  there was so much feedback about this

  and this this is also one of those

  moments where even after what we've been

  doing this show together now what 10

  years I my ability to predict what

  people are going to comment on about in

  the show I feel like it's not even it's

  not even bad it's it's like my

  predictions are exactly opposites like

  if we if we just reversed with my

  predictions would be that would be the

  truth and I thought like oh the

  astronaut thing like oh no I was

  probably going to talk about that and

  then I was I was deeply

  concerned like out of mind that there's

  gonna be so much feedback about the 9/11

  memorial it's like there that 9/11

  memorial thumbs down I don't like it it

  stinks right and it's like feedback a

  couple of comments that agree and mostly

  silence silence right but astronauts

  have dressed up as a minion is like boom

  so much feedback so much feedback and I

  felt like you were kind of backed into a

  corner by a lot of that feedback I mean

  I feel like I brought it upon myself to

  a degree because I was quite flamboyant

  about it you know I was quite

  over-the-top in my criticism maybe that

  caused some of the pushback but also it

  was overwhelmingly people disagree with

  my position hmm they disagree that it

  was silly and wrong for them to dress up

  as spider-man and minions and that that

  I read I've read almost all of the

  feedback and I have to say having read

  all the feedback and absorbed it taken

  in what people had to say I'm pretty

  much unmoved

  from my position I still think I think

  all the people responding have maybe

  misunderstood that they've definitely

  have misunderstood some of my criticism

  because I certainly don't really blame

  the astronauts for it you know some

  people I felt like were going in to bat

  for the astronauts but I also think some

  of the feedback was maybe a little naive

  as to hell NASA works and life on the

  space station works and how tightly

  controlled the media operation is with

  anything necessarily 'td I think people

  had in their minds the idea that the

  astronauts were sitting around on the

  ISS drinking their morning coffee you

  know their day off on Halloween thinking

  about what to do and came up with the

  idea that they were going to do a fun

  thing and take a photograph of it and

  then then if you are complaining about

  them in their Halloween costumes it

  seems like you are the world's biggest

  Grinch but it's yes like hey these guys

  are on a break they should be allowed to

  just you know be themselves yes there

  was an enormous amount of shouldn't

  astronauts be allowed to have spare time

  ss and I think like this this really

  this really drives to the heart about

  what's occurring here like if you if you

  think this is a spontaneous outburst

  from the astronauts and they were just

  doing a thing because it was fun to them

  oh yeah no one in the world is going to

  have a problem with that but I think you

  know even even I who do not follow space

  very much know that like their time is

  incredibly regulated on there like they

  are so scheduled that my you know maybe

  I'm wrong but I'd be willing to bet my

  entire net worth that those things are

  scheduled zaniness right for PR purposes

  that that's what it is and and I think

  that that that's the the feedback that

  you were getting is the idea like if

  it's genuine than you you are like a

  monster but if it's scheduled zaniness

  like that's a very different that's a

  very different thing yeah if these

  people you know took this stuff up

  because they wanted to do something for

  their own kids or something mm-hmm okay

  if you want to go with that story you

  can go with it but like they're there in

  the they're there in the PR position all

  those like the group in front of the TV

  camera the sheduled downlink like this

  was not something that just happened and

  someone down at Mission Control said oh

  that's classic let's let's grab this for

  the cameras as well yeah like this was a

  no this wasn't what a magical Stefani's

  moment the other argument that really

  all the arguments people were making I

  didn't really agree with but you know

  you know it's a bit unfair I have the

  microphone so it's not fair that I just

  you know they have to have their say as

  well and I and I have read their say but

  this whole thing about our even

  astronauts need to relax and decompress

  and do fun things like of course that of

  course and astronauts have do have a lot

  of time off on the space station and

  their time off is very protected by the

  way like getting getting you know

  getting someone to do work on the space

  station during their break is a is a big

  deal they do have a lot of their own

  time and films and things to do and and

  the other thing that again was driving

  me a bit crazy was this whole inspiring

  kids like I don't think that's the way

  to inspire kids to become an astronaut

  and if it effect

  is the way to inspire kids to become an

  astronaut I'm a bit worried about the

  sort of people who want to become

  astronauts oh my god like like people

  are saying are some kid dressed as

  spider-man we'll take a lot of

  inspiration from seeing an astronaut

  dressed up as spider-man that was crap

  kids dress up as astronauts that's what

  kids dressing up spider-man so anyway

  anyway look I don't want to like dredge

  it all up again I've read all the

  feedback and like I get that people

  disagree and I'm yet to read something

  that has made me change my mind I think

  I have dealt with astronauts and

  International Space Station things

  before and they are very tightly

  controlled all the photos and the videos

  that come down anything that's publicly

  released has layers upon layers of

  bureaucracy involved and if you think

  this was just a bunch of cheeky

  astronauts doing something for fun and

  then saying look what we did know when

  you what we were up to maybe you're

  right I don't know I don't know the

  actual details of this case but I would

  be very very surprised by that there is

  an item in our show notes which I think

  is maybe one of the oldest things in our

  show notes that I know I listed in one

  of them for like their first 10 episodes

  which was this this very idea of like

  inspiring someone to become an astronaut

  and like I just will never actually

  really do it as a full topic so I'll

  just mention it now but like I find that

  stuff raising making because it we you

  know my feeling is always like guess

  what hard things are hard you want to

  become an astronaut it's hard like this

  is one of the hardest career paths you

  could go down and I remember there's

  like so much in in the sciences of this

  this idea of like we want to encourage

  more people to do physics and it's like

  okay great

  what's your plan how do you want to make

  more people do physics right because

  physics graduates are super valuable and

  the answer was always the same thing the

  answer was oh well we're going to

  inspire more people to go into physics

  by dumbing down the physics right by

  doing all kinds of demos and flashy

  stuff that has nothing to do with what

  actual physics is

  and okay if this even works it's just a

  it's just a trick right like the you you

  are hood winking someone into a career

  in which they're totally gonna fail or

  do poorly because like guess what

  physics is actually a whole bunch bunch

  of math and I like I feel so strongly

  about it because like the whole reason

  why as a kid I felt quote inspired to go

  into physics was precisely because it

  felt like a sanctuary of like oh thank

  god like here's a subject that is just

  hard but it's also clear and crisp and

  there's no ambiguity and there's no

  nonsense and so I always worry that this

  kind of stuff actually pushes away the

  kinds of people that you want to go into

  those fields and and anybody that it

  encourages it's not actually helpful

  like I totally agree with you like if

  some kid sees an astronaut dressed up as

  spider-man and decides that he's going

  to become an astronaut based on that

  like that kids not gonna be an astronaut

  it's not gonna happen no they're

  probably not cut from the right cloth

  yeah I mean III could I can see a

  counter-argument I can see a

  counter-argument that maybe there will

  be a bunch of people who will be reached

  by this photo that had never considered

  aerospace before and this is the this

  was the tiny little spark that lit the

  fire when they looked into it further

  they found other things that were more

  legitimate about aerospace that appealed

  to them so I think there is a an

  alternative argument but the thing is

  astronaut is a job that hasn't even got

  that problem because the best renautas

  like go and go in massive fiery rockets

  in there in this extreme environment

  everything about the astronaut job is

  quite kind of you know sexy anyway it's

  not like it's not like a job where

  there's like a paucity of applicants

  yeah I'm willing to bet there are way

  more people applying to at at school

  then astronaut school let's in it's

  really really hard to become an

  astronaut because everybody wants to do

  it so they don't they have no PR problem

  here right and also and so you know do

  you think people want to become

  basketballs because they once saw

  Michael Jordan dress up as spider-man no

  they saw him playing

  basket ball and thought well playing

  basketball looks awesome I want to be a

  basketball er it's the same for the

  astronauts just being astronauts is cool

  enough but there is this weird idea like

  oh we're gonna get people go do a thing

  by showing them the thing in a way that

  it isn't it's like that's the terrible

  idea but yeah the astronauts cool wing

  oversubscribed I think they're turning a

  lot of people away at the gate or like

  I'm sorry we can't let you interact not

  school because so many people who are

  applying go like guess what we need to

  take the best of the best like you need

  to be super smart and an incredible

  physical condition in order to get into

  astronaut school it's a fright stuff

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  Squarespace think it dream it make it

  last episode I asked feedback on whether

  or not normal

  photography settings can trigger an

  epileptic seizure and I'm here to report

  that the feedback I received was exactly

  zero items of feedback right nothing

  I heard absolutely nothing and what are

  you saying he's saying people with

  epilepsy are not interactive yes Brady

  that's the correct no whatever are lazy

  you are lazy people with epilepsy you

  should be on the reddit helping us out

  on a podcast if you ask her feedback and

  and you know the audience is hello in

  chat audience like you're gonna get a

  lot of feedback I think there is

  probably nothing that people would love

  to talk about more than their own

  medical problems like so you're asking

  for medical problem feedback it's like

  BAM people love that conversation right

  like let me tell you all about all my

  medical problems right they're like oh

  my god I have a cousin with his exact

  medical problem so my feeling that like

  I heard nothing just just yeah

  tumbleweeds on an infinite Oasis it was

  it was nothing it just 100% confirmed to

  me that this is one of these many fake

  safety things right that someone has the

  idea that this can occur this is the

  camera flashes this is the camera single

  camera flashes causing a problem during

  school photos yeah that this this idea

  is written down because someone just

  thinks it's a possibility and then it

  it's like an idea that spreads and

  metastasizes across a whole variety of

  industries because nobody wants to be

  the person who contradicts the idea that

  like a camera flash can cause an

  epileptic seizure

  so maybe I'm wrong maybe this week will

  be the actual feedback but I'm I'm

  guessing not I'm guessing not on that

  one fake safety and by the way all the

  people who have admonished gray and I

  for causing a problem in their

  productivity and workflow because we


  you will get no apology from us because

  we could not have warned you anymore

  that that game would take a lot of your

  time but my goodness a lot of people

  seem to have gotten into that oh my god

  I have to say I did really enjoy that

  because because I feel like this has

  happened enough in my own life I'm

  minding my own business and then

  something blows a tremendous

  productivity hole right through the

  center of my life I like I think

  everybody knows this experience and I

  did get some some unreasonable amount of

  joy from seeing all the people replying

  on Twitter saying like I know that you

  warned me but nonetheless I had no idea

  right it's like I've lost two days so I

  feel like we were 100% in the clear on

  that because yes we could we could not

  have warned more clearly but people

  still click the button and many of them

  click the button in situations that they

  totally knew they should have clicked it

  but there you go

  so universal paper clips it is spreading

  replicating throughout the world I had a

  nice little bit of feedback because the

  person who made the game he this is

  Frank lat Frank Lance and he tweeted to

  the soon after the podcast came out I

  can't believe I got the numberphile guy

  I'm so happy

  oh that's great that's great so he feels

  like he's fishing in the world as well

  right he was like who else didn't I

  catch in my book I told him that he was

  responsible for probably preventing the

  release of possibly two numberphile

  videos as a result of making that game

  yeah that's good Oh actually you know

  what there is something that was really

  grinding my gears over the feedback on

  this but I just want to mention before I

  forget and it was this okay so listeners

  I need to explain something about

  podcasts and conversations to you right

  now just just because a thing is not

  explicitly mentioned does not mean that

  Brady and I do not know about the thing

  and I I saw so many comments from people

  who were saying a variation of I can't

  believe that gray doesn't know about cow

  clicker games or Idol games like I can't

  believe he's never come across one of

  these things before that is outrageous

  and shocking to me that he's never seen

  a game in

  in this genre before how ridiculous and

  they're like showing me a bunch of these

  different things I feel like like when

  we were having that conversation I was

  making reference to these other like

  game mechanics that are quite cheap

  that's like guys that start was

  referring to or even even if I didn't

  say that is that it's like yes it would

  be quite shocking if someone who likes

  games a lot had never come across one of

  these games but like the amount of

  feedback I don't know this just there's

  something about this that drives me

  crazy you know better than this by now

  I need internet exists for people to try

  to say they know something that someone

  else does I know I know

  but I'll just as I'm saying it out loud

  I'm just realizing I have to reek at

  agura's this in my mind as the that you

  forgot to mention feedback on videos

  right which also drives me crazy or it's

  like yeah yeah I started with 20,000

  words and I went down to a thousand

  words like you trust me I didn't forget

  to mention a thing like the most obvious

  thing so the only thing that would have

  been more annoying is if someone said oh

  this is stupid podcast X talked about

  this game three weeks ago someone else

  has already spoken about this therefore

  it is forbidden to speak about it ever


  yeah yeah that would be another kind of

  feedback so I just I just want to

  mention right now like I have played a

  lot of these kind of games and I don't

  like all of them if if you listen to

  that section about Universal paperclips

  and you were thinking oh this is just

  another one of these clicker type games

  I just want to make it really clear this

  game validates the existence of the

  entire genre which i think is mostly

  boring and a kind of a kind of

  psychological unfun this trap but like

  this game is different so if you heard

  that and you didn't didn't try it

  because you know what kind of game were

  talking about try it anyway like I

  really really think this is this is the

  diamond in the rough before this genre

  can I plug something of mine what would

  you like to plug Grady I want to plug

  one of my oldest youtube channels which

  is periodic videos which is my chemistry

  youtube channel mmm and I want to plug

  it for a very specific reason and that

  is Professor Sir Martin Polyakov

  who is the star of most of the videos

  he's the professor with the big fuzzy

  gray hair I've been working with him for

  many many years he's a dear friend he's

  also he's also responsible for a lot of

  my other subsequent work like he's been

  a key plank in a lot of my channels

  getting to where they've gotten so he's

  been a very important part of my youtube

  career he is turning 70 years old in the

  next week or two as we are recording now

  I think let me check his birthday yeah

  16th of December 16th of December on the

  16th of December he is turning 70 this

  is in the in the year 2017 if you're

  listening in the far future so and like

  you know I don't we don't get each other

  birthday presents or anything but if

  there's one thing that sir Martin is

  truly obsessed with it is periodic

  videos youtube channel statistics hey

  like he follows them much more than a

  distinguished professor with

  responsibility and anytime we reach any

  milestone or are about to reach any

  milestone or anything happens across

  numerous videos he'll be like well this

  video we made two years ago just passed

  a million views and LU like he's he's

  watching it day and night he's got his

  eye on the ball he's got his eye on the

  bowl and almost exactly on his 70th

  birthday periodic videos the channel is

  due to hit you know probably the

  milestone of milestones that our YouTube

  channel hits and that is 1 million

  subscribers yeah that's the big one

  that's a big one that's that's the one

  that people make a song and dance about

  and they give you a gold button etc yeah

  I think that I think the million

  subscribers is a bigger deal than the 10

  million subscribers buy a lot like that

  that is the biggest milestone that a

  channel can cross yeah

  martin is excited about this upcoming

  thing and he has noted that it could

  have happened on his birthday although

  looking at sort of some of the

  projections and the statistics our our

  projected million subscriber number has

  now drifted out slightly to slightly

  beyond his birthday

  where my plea to the hello internet

  listeners this comes in if you have a

  YouTube account and your YouTube person

  and you haven't subscribed to periodic

  videos but you think maybe you would or

  you've never looked at it and it might

  interest you now would be a really nice

  time for you to do it for me because I

  would love to skate close to a million

  in time for his birthday I think maybe

  we won't quite do it but I I would like

  to try and this is my play I'm not

  asking you to subscribe to the channel

  if like you're aware of it and dislike

  it and what nothing to do with fair

  enough there's not much I can say that

  but if you've never looked at her or you

  or you'd like it but you just never got

  around to subscribing to it and you you

  are ever likely to now is a good time to

  do it because I'd like to get close for

  Sir Martin's birthday because he's he's

  he means a lot to me yeah and I think

  this is this is a good time to dimension

  the the channel to try to hit this mark

  because if you listen back at at earlier

  shows you can hear me sometimes

  speculate about who on earth would be

  listening to this podcast who doesn't

  know our YouTube channels I am aware

  that that over time that ratio has

  drifted that we do have more and more

  listeners who have come across the

  podcast and really don't know very much

  about our YouTube careers in any way so

  if you are also one of those listeners

  now who back in the early days I suspect

  it couldn't possibly exist but now I do

  know exists in serious numbers this is

  an excellent time to go check out

  periodic videos and go subscribe right

  and and take a look at take a look at

  that channel if you are one of those

  listeners who knows the podcast and

  doesn't follow our YouTube channels go

  go subscribe to periodic videos go check

  it out go to go take a look at it it's a

  it's a it's a channel that's going

  through a bit of a change at the moment

  to for me it's it's something that I've

  been starting to think differently about

  this particular channel it's one of my

  oldest and it's funny and I know you've

  been going through a little bit of this

  too maybe with your channel but when you

  do a youtube channel for a long time you

  occasionally go through I don't know

  it's like the YouTube equivalent of like

  a midlife crisis and you start and you

  start thinking where am I going what am

  i doing what's the point of this and a

  lot of my channels have sort of been

  continuing business as usual but

  periodic videos as one

  really revisiting in my head at the

  moment so it's an interesting time to be

  subscribing maybe okay so well how how

  old is periodic videos oh man

  I'll scared you'd ask that it looks like

  it started in June 2008 oh my god

  yeah okay in YouTube land that that's

  more than it's more than just a midlife

  crisis that's that's a pretty what you

  think I'm on death's door that's a WoW

  Wow I had I had no idea it was that old

  yeah that's very old okay right okay I'm

  sorry oh sorry let me rephrase that but

  you you are an established presence on

  YouTube that's that's for sure Brady you

  are you are very established with pure

  yo air would a statesman you are in the

  elder statesman career transition of

  your channel what are you thinking of

  well the thing is the way period video

  started was making a video about every

  element on the periodic table right and

  that we did 118 really really quickly

  mm-hmm for various reasons like like I'm

  talking like six or seven weeks fast

  like so we we did a lot of videos really

  quickly on all the elements and a lot of

  them for that reason were kind of you

  know rushed and half-baked and some of

  them are just like you know 20 30

  seconds and not much is said and and

  then once the channel sort of became a

  little bit successful more than we

  expected we thought okay well I guess

  we'll keep this channel going now and

  let's redo all the elements so that was

  the plan we're gonna redo each element

  video and make them more elaborate more

  detail and more experiments to make them

  you know more of a thing to watch hmm

  but then as the channel kind of evolved

  and it became like a general chemistry

  channel not just about the elements we

  started doing other stuff and we started

  kind of you know drinking the the the

  addictive potion of the occasional viral

  video doing silly things and and and you

  know having travels and adventures and

  making all these chemistry videos and we

  could have only updated elements very

  occasionally mm-hmm and those videos

  have just kind of you know wallowed in

  history I mean they're they're really

  old now they're nearly 10 years old but

  away a lot of people visit the channel

  is to watch the element video isn't

  stuck going through the elements mhm and

  I've now realized that's bit

  embarrassing because it's like oh gosh

  some of these videos are really old they

  really low resolution there no any of

  the quality of the videos we'd make now

  so I've kind of really got it in my head

  no we need to abandon all this other

  frivolous stuff and get back to basics

  and redo all the element videos and I

  want almost all of our releases now to

  be you know a redux of an element video

  so that's what we've done the last few

  and that's what we're recording at the

  moment and these days when Sir Martin

  calls me up and says oh I've got a crazy

  idea for some experiment or some

  chemistry thing we're doing nine times

  out of ten I'm saying to him no no we

  are redoing the elements we're totally

  focusing on that and even though these

  videos will never be viral in the way

  that dipping a cheeseburger and acid or

  loving something up is likely to give

  you the occasional viral video I've kind

  of said I'm not interested in that

  anymore I'm more interested in the

  legacy of these hundred and eighteen

  element videos and at the moment you

  know some of them are just too outdated

  so that's where that's where I want to

  take the channel now and I think Martin

  and other people in the chemistry

  department at the University of

  Nottingham are kind of on board with me

  on that so that's the new direction less

  less look at me like fun fun time things

  and more back to where we started so you

  are you are d viraling the channel yeah

  in a way yeah it's like yeah I'm I'm

  less worried about I'm less worried

  about sort of you count and hitting

  hitting new people by being

  attention-seeking hmm you know there

  will be there'll be no more dressing up

  at Halloween this is kind of what I'm

  wondering right is it actually ties

  quite nicely into the previous

  conversation yeah you're not you're not

  pulling these these stunts for the for

  the chemistry PR department right yeah

  you're doing you're doing some meat and

  potatoes periodic video we revisiting

  and look it looks like at the time of

  recording you've done four of these

  these new ones so far

  helium francium technician and nickel

  yeah they're the most they're the most

  recent ones and I've got chromium coming

  up pretty shortly as well

  yeah I mean I we have been updating

  element of element videos all through

  the project so occasionally we do drop

  an element update but now that's what

  all I want us to do hmm

  so that eventually when people say whom

  I'm gonna sit back on what Shaw 118

  right all of them are gonna be good

  right at the moment some of them are

  good and people will say oh I can't

  believe your video on element X is like

  you know that's nowhere near as good as

  your other ones that's what I want to

  fix yeah well I'm looking a looking at

  your channel and the oldest one that's

  listed as an element video is Cobalts

  from from nine years ago and in dramatic

  480p resolution and what I really like

  is it's not even a full 480p because it

  looks like you hard exported the black

  bars around the video so it's actually

  in the it's in the center of the screen

  it's not taking up the full YouTube

  player so yeah I didn't I didn't do that

  though respectively like when you first

  watch that back in the day that would

  have taken up the whole screen but

  something changed at some point and a

  whole bunch of my videos suddenly got

  black bars all around them they're

  really old ones and you know that's only

  a minute forty long and me three hundred

  thousand people have watched it which

  I'm a bit embarrassed by now because

  people love going through and watching

  the whole collection and that's what I

  want to change when people go through

  and watch the whole collection hmm

  because the thing I guess I haven't

  pointed out is periodic videos also has

  its own website which is an entire

  periodic table and you can click on any

  given element and watch the video on

  that element from YouTube so it's kind

  of like a you know picking chocolates

  from a chocolate box right so it is it

  is a kind of snacking channel in that

  way where people like to like get on a

  streak and go through the elements and

  that's where we get found out by the old

  videos of it so aren't you afraid though

  that if you if you diva roll the channel

  that you will fall on the on the bad

  side of the algorithm mm-hmm I had been

  thinking about that but I don't know I

  think I think I think of this channel


  I don't think of this channel as like a

  business enterprise like that hmm so I

  don't worry about that I think I think

  this channel always has a different role

  to play do you think I'm doing the right

  thing well I don't know I here's the

  thing Brady you you have what makes you

  different Brady and what makes

  special is you are a man with many

  YouTube channels so I think you unlike

  many other people who would be in the

  YouTube space this like this is this is

  part of a periodic videos is like part

  of a Brady portfolio of channels and so

  I think you would have less to worry

  about if you were going to de vie roll a

  channel and and get sort of go back to

  basics go back to the beginning and and

  redo a bunch of stuff I don't think it's

  a bad idea

  but but I feel more I feel more

  comfortable saying that because you have

  a bunch of other channels right and

  there but also the thing to bear in mind

  with periodic videos is it does have

  like nearly a million subscribers so and

  although I'd never realized a lot of

  them and not active mmm and I also

  realize that subscribers don't

  necessarily mean everyone finds out

  about your videos I do feel like the

  channels big enough that it can that it

  can give people just you know kind of

  what they signed up for and I don't have

  to worry about pandering to people who

  aren't interested like I feel a bit like

  I want to service the actual audience

  and not not be preoccupied with new

  audience so I'm saying some ways I'm

  happy just as I'm happy just to feed the

  existing audience and hope that new

  audience comes on just gradually who

  appreciate it for what it is and not for

  you know crazy occasional craziness so

  okay I got to say that the new videos

  aren't gonna like have awesome

  explosions they're just not going to be

  they're just not going to be dressed up

  in that way they're gonna be more you

  know here's the elements brain it'll be

  cool stuff in the video the whole idea

  is that the video is that all the videos

  are cornea right right but it's not

  gonna be like you know as gimmicky well

  okay here's questions you you were doing

  explicit remakes of your old videos

  right now and I understand like is a

  very different very different thing from

  the way they were produced in the

  beginning to the way that they're done

  now alright and this is like a long

  period of time and there are many

  factors here I almost don't want to say

  it I almost don't want to put the idea

  in your mind but do you have any

  worries that that there's some kind of

  magic to the earlier videos like that

  even though to your eye they seem like

  you as the Creator you can just see like

  oh this is older and and it's shorter

  like but do you think maybe that part of

  the reason that the channel is

  successful is because those earlier

  videos were produced the way they were

  and and and people like them and do you

  worry basically about replacing the old

  ones with the new ones that maybe it's

  not quite the same I mean we're not

  taking down the old ones obviously

  undulating them there there is like

  version one hmm

  and when you say remake it's not like

  I'm doing like experiments that we did

  before we should be shooting them in

  most of the case we're replacing 45

  seconds of the guide talking it is desk

  with ten minutes of experiments and

  samples and better stories and no

  creation okay so it's not so the reap so

  calling like a remake it's not like a

  shot-for-shot remake of psycho or

  something like that it is more of a

  exactly what I had in my mind is like a

  shot-for-shot remake of psycho right

  it's like oh god it just doesn't work

  it's terribly poor yes it's not we're

  not doing that they are they are

  brand-new videos with all new stuff and

  new information but I think the charm of

  the old videos you know they were of

  their time and like you and they feel

  like they're off their time now people

  expect different things from YouTube

  videos now different production

  qualities different pacing different

  stuff in the videos and you know we

  became successful because no one else

  was doing it you know no one else was

  doing something as crazy as making a

  video about every single element but

  people expect different things now so

  I'm not I'm not worried about that I

  think the things that make the channel

  what it is are still there like a

  chattiness and the professor and seeing

  real stuff happening in real labs and

  real scientists talking and Martin's

  personality and and a kind of a homemade

  feel to them which I'm still keeping you

  know it's not like I'm suddenly putting

  everything on tripods and making like a

  whole new look yes yeah trying to make

  them better yeah actually

  it's I think that's a good point that

  you make there because I

  I often I often find that some stuff

  that I I watch like when when the

  upgrades like the new studio and it and

  it becomes more professional it somehow

  feels like oh it's not quite the same

  right is it and yes it's it's good to

  hear that you're you're you're keeping

  that particular no it's still supposed

  to be unprofessional you know when

  things go wrong it stays in the video

  and you know those human moments are

  staying in it's just it's more about

  just making putting more in the videos

  and taking more time on the movie

  because we're in such a rush the first

  time and and now we're not in a rush

  well if you're making them longer and

  then and the rumor is about the

  algorithm are true then maybe this is

  this is the best move you could possibly

  make right thank you the YouTube

  algorithm apparently loves long videos

  and keeping people on the on the site as

  long as possible

  so a hundred and eighteen fifteen to

  twenty minute long videos that's a

  that's a pretty pretty big chunk of

  people's time and attention that YouTube

  could could could get from them people

  oh I say that but long videos are any

  good at keeping people on the channel of

  people watch the long video yeah I know

  and I'm not I'm not very I'm not super

  convinced by that theory anyway

  is the CGP grey channel going through a

  midlife crisis yeah or you know it's an

  interesting thing because this summer I

  realized that YouTube is now the longest

  job I've ever had which was which is

  just a strange realization for me that's

  just happen to maintain oh yeah yeah huh

  how do you how do you feel about that

  strange no yeah my mental framework just

  does not match this I think it's partly

  because it felt like I was a teacher for

  forever that is a big mental landscape

  that that it's hard for me to feel like

  the YouTube time is now longer than that

  and it's also interesting even just

  thing like you know I mean a joke before

  about how long we've done this podcast

  but like we've been doing this podcast

  for quite a long time and I there's

  something that my brain just cannot

  place in these things where I still

  think of

  YouTube as the new projects right and

  and then hello internet as like oh the

  new new project I was like but actually

  they've been going on for quite a while

  now and I just there's I wonder I almost

  wonder if in you know doublet so I've

  been doing the YouTube channel seriously

  for about six years now and I almost

  wonder like if I double that number will

  it still feel the same will it still

  feel like that this is still the the new

  thing it doesn't feel like you

  understand type thing yeah like it the

  upstart type thing even though that is

  manifestly not true I don't know there's

  something about it that I just can't I

  just can't place correctly in my brain

  so I have a hard time thinking about it

  but when I realized it I found it really

  quite shocking and surprising to realize

  that that YouTube is now the longest job

  I have ever had

  do you think that surprise and feeling

  is likely to result in anything or will

  manifest itself in any way or it's just

  like a hmm okay back on with it what

  does that make you start thinking

  differently and think should I be doing

  this differently do I need to change

  things up or or do you just is it just

  like a little I think I have a different

  view of it because I don't know the way

  people describe my channel I feel like I

  have never I have never heard someone

  describe my YouTube channel in a way

  that I would agree with people say that

  it's a channel about history and I'd be

  like I don't even understand what do you

  mean by this er various ways that people

  have described what my youtube channel

  is like I just I've never come across

  the description that I actually feel

  like matches up with the way it is in my

  head and I can't really quite articulate

  the way it is in my head but I also feel

  like that the channel has naturally

  changed over time anyway like I forget

  what it is but it takes a long time

  before even the concept of stick figure

  me shows up in a video like that's

  suddenly a shift like that doing that

  kind of thing has a change in the way

  like oh I'm talking directly to the

  audience now instead of this being like

  a literal slide show like it would be in

  a classroom so like that's

  that's just easy to point to but I feel

  like there's been a lot of little

  changes in evolutions over time but I

  don't know it's a it's a funny thing

  because in my head I feel like it's sort

  of it's sort of always changing and is

  always the same and I think that that's

  always the way it will be to any if the

  changes that happen on your channel they

  for example the introduction of stick

  figure growing are they ever like lines

  in the sand like will you deliberately

  say okay it's time for something new I'm

  going to introduce a stick figure

  version of me because I want to change

  the emphasis to me talking out at the

  viewers rather than us looking together

  at a slide show or do they happen just

  kind of accidentally and you do it once

  and think well that kind of worked I

  might try that again sometime and then

  after like 10 videos you're like oh well

  I guess that's the thing now yeah like

  are they because you seem like a guy who

  makes a lot of strategic deliberate

  decisions rather than just falls into

  things the stick figure me I remember

  what the video was but I do remember

  that that was trying to solve a

  particular problem in the way I was

  explaining something and also it was in

  in no small part a kind of envy of a lot

  of what other educational youtubers in

  the space can do where they like they

  can show you animations and interesting

  graphics to help an explanation and then

  they can just cut to them talking either

  when a visual is not needed or if it's a

  moment where it's a little bit abstract

  and what you would put on screen

  wouldn't necessarily line up with

  anything that you're talking about I I

  remember being quite envious of the

  ability to do that cut to camera thing

  so that the stick introducing stick

  figure gray was was partly the ability

  to do that like oh I can cut to camera

  now and it's just me talking I would say

  the biggest the biggest line in the sand

  thing that I did do very intentionally

  was actually that las vegas vlog that i

  uploaded a little while ago that was

  very much a deliberate feeling of i want

  to put up something on the channel that

  is really different right that it's not


  oh I've done a serious video where gray

  is talking in serious tones and that's

  different from all of the others or a

  video like the trouble with transporters

  which has a different animation style

  but all of those are still kind of the

  same like they're in the same family of

  the videos that I do but the vlog is

  like a totally different thing and is

  also completely unexpected right if

  you've been following the history of the

  channel like it's it's weird to upload a

  vlog I did that partly just because I

  wanted to establish a precedent of I can

  upload random things if I want to so

  that was a deliberate sort of thing it

  was also just interesting to see like

  how are people going to react to when I

  do something differently but I think

  maybe that's the closest one to that so

  that the line in the sand

  otherwise it's things just evolve over

  time I don't think anything in the

  entertainment industry can stay the same

  like I think stuff has to change you

  know even like you're you're redoing

  your videos right but you're you're

  changing the way they are because you

  like you want them to be updated for

  modern audience sensibilities and I

  think you also just have to change

  because the environment around you

  changes so when you look at a change to

  your channel for example the saying hey

  vlogs are a thing now too you know don't

  don't you do you think that's you being

  like super rational business gray saying

  you know to survive going forward and

  for the channel to grow and sustain I

  need to change and adapt or is it more

  an artistic thing like you know I want

  to spread my wings and not just be a guy

  who has to do animations and explaining

  and I don't want all I don't want to be

  constrained by your expectations of the

  channel is this a business rational

  decision you've made or is that an

  artistic decision I guess is what I'm

  saying I would say it's neither it's

  actually just a personal decision that I

  I feel like as people who follow my work

  may know I'm not a big fan of regularity

  and things always being the same and

  predictable and that vlog went up in no

  small part because I did feel like there

  was there had been too much

  predictability for too

  long on the channel and so I wanted to

  do a thing that was just totally out of

  left field I wish I could say oh wow was



  incredibly smart business decision but

  but it was by far and away like the

  worst business decision I ever made for

  the channel in terms of every metric I

  can possibly have putting up that vlog

  video was the worst thing I could do on

  every one of my spreadsheets it was

  really just something personally that I

  wanted to do just to just to have

  something up there that was different

  and established the possibility that

  like oh this can happen again in the

  future but as someone who seems to care

  so a little about what other people

  think why do you need to do that unless

  it's something you want to make you want

  to do like why do you why do you need to

  even put down that marker like but it's

  because it is something that I want to

  do right again it's alright you answer

  my question and it's like an artistic

  thing yeah I guess if you want to phrase

  it that way you could say it I don't

  mean like you're an artist but yeah yeah

  in an editorial decision rather than a

  business decision maybe yeah an

  editorial decision might be a better way

  to put it because I think it's it's

  partly there is something about the this

  idea turned out to be totally wrong but

  I'll to specify what my thinking was at

  the time there is something limiting

  about the animation because it's so time

  intensive that it forced all's certain

  kinds of videos from being able to be

  made because you have to just have to

  say like if a video is going to be made

  like there's going to need to be an

  enormous amount of animation time and so

  my thinking was I'm gonna do a video

  that's a different kind of thing that

  can also possibly have a much shorter

  turnaround time because I don't need to

  animate every frame I'm just going to

  film stuff now that sounds like a

  business decision

  no but it's I know why you say it's a

  business decision but it's it's more a

  question of like I want to make a

  certain kind of video and up until this

  point the answer is okay well whatever

  you're going to make it has to be an

  animation and then that cuts off a huge

  number of possibilities yeah so I can

  see why you're saying it sounds like a

  business decision but it's much more a

  personal decision of I want to do a

  thing that maybe doesn't require all the

  animation and let me know it's Matt yeah


  you want to make Michelangelo's David

  but you've all only ever done oil

  painting so now you've said no I'm gonna

  try Scott yes instead they're deeming

  quite high but yes the 30 an amazing

  sculptor now but anyway joke was on me

  that vlog took up way more time than

  animation of this so I was really really

  wrong about that estimation but I was

  still I was still glad to do it I just

  look that to do it but yeah maybe maybe

  classifying it as an editorial decision

  is a is a correct way to frame it

  interesting stuff well your your channel

  sounds interesting but just to get back

  to the main points go unsubscribe to

  periodic videos go check out the elder

  statesman periodic videos and to remind

  people you we would like to hit a

  million subscribers by when is the date

  again breeding December 16 December 16

  so now you're gonna break the poor

  little profs high if we fo show what

  we'll see what we'll see what we can do

  and I will I will do I will do my part

  by promising to get this episode up

  before up before December 15th at the

  very latest but die and like people

  listening don't think oh I must go and

  do that after the show pause the show

  and do it now because I know you'll

  forget yeah you're free good we'll

  forget yeah

  you're 100% forget do it now you know in

  the fullness of time when I look back

  over the many episodes of hello Internet

  I think one of the greatest things I'll

  take from this long and winding journey

  will be my discovery of fracture that's

  because this company which lets you

  print photos directly onto glass pieces

  immediately ready for hanging and

  display has transformed my gift buying


  anytime I'm stuck for a present idea I

  choose an appropriate photo for the

  right recipient upload it to fractures

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  and it always goes down a treat what mum

  or dad doesn't like a picture of their

  kids or grandkids to show off above the


  what angler wouldn't like an

  immortalized image of that giant trout

  they caught on last month's fishing trip

  and hey let

  get a bit meta here what Tim wouldn't

  like a nail in gear steadily displayed

  above their desk at work or now let's be

  fair a fractured flag e flag that could

  be carefully hung so that it doesn't

  accidentally fall onto that hard tiled

  floor and smash into a million pieces

  because he wouldn't want that to happen

  now as we record this episode with

  Christmas fast approaching I'd seriously

  consider this as your chance to put

  something special under the tree on

  December 25 but a word of warning don't

  dilly-dally because my sources at the

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  fracture dot may offer code hello 15

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  that to tell them that hello internet

  sent you to fracture that's good for us

  the fifteen percent that's good for you

  as our the happy family members of

  christmas thanks to fracture for

  supporting the show i was only joking

  about the flag flag like smashing on the

  floor I wouldn't want flag a flag to

  smash on the floor I wouldn't want that

  great from following you on Twitter and

  from following almost everyone on the

  world on Twitter not that I follow are

  you one of those are you one of those

  Twitter accounts now that follows

  500,000 people that get follow back

  Brady is that what you're doing

  pandering to Twitter that way I haven't

  I haven't got to that stage so one thing

  that causes endless frustration I know

  it causes you frustration is package

  deliveries from delivery companies and

  I've seen I've seen even the normally

  calm CGP grey who was reluctant to wield

  his mighty power against corporations

  get particularly upset at a delivery

  company recently when they were

  they were doing what they do to me all

  the time and that is don't even ring

  your doorbell or knock on your door and

  just drop the package and run or worse

  yet put a card through saying you

  weren't here and run which I absolutely

  hate the card through the door that was

  those a was a charm charming days of

  yore when I used to at least just get

  the card through the door recently I've

  been getting pure email notifications

  now just like Oh which we tried to

  deliver to your house but you weren't

  home Chiqui sorry there's no proof

  though even that well there is there's

  proof that they were there Brady which

  is a photograph of your front door at

  least that's what it's supposed to be

  but in every single one of emails I have

  ever gotten it is a photograph of what I

  presume is just the inside of the

  delivery man's pocket it's is literally

  nothing that registers anything as proof

  on there so it's just I'm it's just a

  lie right it's just a total 100% lie and

  yeah I did

  I did lose my cool over this a little

  while ago and complained complained on

  Twitter about package deliveries because

  I I was waiting for something in


  at home all day and of course they're

  like oh you weren't you were at home you

  weren't home yes I was you bastards

  I was waiting all day Title I before

  before we go any further though I do

  want to get something on record here

  which was I was very very careful in the

  way I was wording my complaint I just

  want to get this out of the way before

  we continue the conversation further I

  do not think this is the delivery

  people's fault

  my view of this is it is the company's

  fault and whatever whatever way they are

  arranging the incentives for the

  employees I think it's very easy to just

  think oh these delivery drivers they're

  so lazy and my first angry version of

  the tweet was about lazy delivery

  drivers this of course was back when we

  had 140 characters and I had I had to

  rethink it and then I phrased it in a

  much better way to place blame where I

  think it really goes so I just want to

  make that really clear like from

  everything I can gather I think this is

  the fault of the delivery company's

  overloading the drivers and so then they

  have every incentive in the world to

  just skip where they can bank on

  someone probably not being there so that

  they can like check off that they've

  gone through all the things that they

  need to do in a day

  so just just want to get that out the

  way first well it's interesting you say

  that because my recent experience that I

  want to share I think emphasizes how

  much the delivery drivers working in

  these incredibly strange straitjackets

  that the companies are putting on them

  and the pressures they're putting on

  them because everyone has had cases

  where you know they get a message saying

  we knocked on the door and you weren't

  home and they say yes I was and and this

  is hole you know you're a bunch of liars

  right I had a recent delivery experience

  that went the other way that really

  emphasized the problem and that was the

  other day there was a knock on the door

  I went down there was a delivery driver

  with a package for me and I had to sign

  for it and he had to scan the barcode

  with his little device to say he'd sent

  it so he was about to pass it over to me

  and he went to scanner and it wouldn't

  scan and he said hang on he tried again

  I wouldn't scan and then he looked at

  his device and said ah I'm a minute and

  a half early

  I can't scan this until it's the right

  time and we had to stand there together

  at the door waiting for the time to

  elapse until we were in the window that

  he was supposed to be at my door oh and

  then as soon as the clock ticked over

  like okay he scanned it hands it to me

  and he could leave so they're so tightly

  controlled at both ends of lateness and

  earliness of where they have to be at

  what times if they're running early they

  get constrained Wow

  it was amazing that that is that is

  frankly breathtaking he couldn't give it

  to me because he couldn't scan her

  I can I can am at like it was never this

  would never occur to me I can imagine

  maybe why this happens just just like

  you say as a way to further pin in the

  driver's freedom of motion yeah because

  later on if there's something that has

  to be delivered like between four and

  six you know they want to make sure his

  whole day is controlled so that he's

  arriving at the right places at the

  right time it doesn't get too ahead of

  schedule you know

  Wow just I feel like I'm knocked

  speechless by the horror of that it

  knows more part the horror of having to

  stand awkwardly with the delivery guy

  for 90 seconds while the two of you are

  waiting for a countdown counter to

  finish that's okay

  luckily I have the world's cutest

  Chihuahua that loves coming and playing

  with delivery people okay all right yeah

  that would make it that would make it

  much easier I feel like I would be

  tempted to close the door I could turn I

  didn't you get a note saying you were I

  don't know it might be worth it you

  avoid the awkwardness though it's a

  problem that seems to be getting worse

  with time and not better with time I

  feel like it's causing me more problems

  in laughs as time goes by because I was

  complaining mightily on Twitter I did

  get some some interesting sort of

  private feedback that that was

  confirming that what's happening is

  largely that the drivers are just

  banking on places that they know where

  the deliveries are going to be accepted

  so it's it's like these delivery

  companies are actually just delivering

  to business and commercial addresses and

  that they're blowing off the residential

  addresses just the the moment there's

  any kind of delay and in their in their

  schedule and where they should be and

  this is what these times like I don't

  understand how the world is the way it

  is because isn't this like isn't this

  the company's whole job like your job is

  to deliver packages like why why are you

  not better at delivering packages we're

  handing you money to do the thing I feel

  like package delivery has gotten way

  worse one of the ways that I feel like I

  have a subjective measure of this is

  because I have an office in in my home

  right and we get lots of packages sent

  to the house it used to drive me so

  crazy like how often the bell would ring

  for the package is getting delivered but

  over the last like 18 months the number

  of times that has occurred has

  definitely gone down and it's way more

  of these like oh there's no package to

  be delivered at all think so like I

  really do feel like delivery companies

  are worse at doing their fundamental

  job than they used to before and it

  bothers me double when he when I think

  about things like like the grocery

  delivery where you can I don't if you

  have this where you are if the city is

  big enough but you can have someone do

  the grocery shopping for you and then

  have them deliver the groceries to your

  house and it's like that to me is kind

  of amazing because it's a-okay grocery

  stores your primary business is not

  delivering things this is just an

  auxiliary business yet nonetheless I can

  just pick a 15-minute window in which I

  want a man to show up with eggs and

  cleaning fluids and toilet paper and

  bananas and whatever and there they're

  like BAM every time delivering the

  groceries and it's like this is not even

  your job like why can't actual delivery

  companies get this same thing

  accomplished I find it really

  frustrating that's just not the

  incentives in place the grocery store

  has incentive doesn't it that they don't

  do the deal if they don't deliver the

  fresh fruit it's not well I can not

  leave the food so they're just not

  incentivized yeah but I guess the

  feeling here is it's like there's a

  delivery cartel that all the delivery

  companies are equally bad right so and

  they recognize like okay as long as

  nobody gets better none of us have to

  get better like that that's what it

  feels like is actually happening because

  it's like I'm paying you to deliver a

  thing you know but I but I can't get it

  but I also just have I have no options

  here right I just have to keep paying

  you to not deliver to not deliver the

  thing and then push the burden on me to

  go to some warehouse to pick it up off

  hours I'm sure you must run into this

  Brady but do you like the feeling of

  sort of abusing your power as someone

  who has a bunch of Twitter followers to

  complain at a company like do you do

  feel the call of that sometimes to yell

  at a company on the internet I do where

  do you draw the line how do you decide

  when to when not to do it I mean you do

  it less than me but you you know you

  just use Twitter less than me so I don't

  know it's mood isn't it it's mood partly

  is like where's the radio meter right is

  the radio meter very very large or is it

  very very small but I also feel like I'm

  caught in a bit of a loop with these

  things where companies have taught me

  that there is no more effective way to

  get their attention than to yell

  come on Twitter yeah and I presume that

  having a large number of followers

  certainly helps with that but it also

  seems like that when I look at company

  Twitter accounts like they are very

  active on Twitter and replying to people

  mmm I feel like the companies are

  essentially begging me to complain about

  them on Twitter squeaky wheel gets the

  oil if I'm going to complain about a

  company on Twitter there needs to be one

  of two things I need to be really angry

  deeply deeply angry or I need to think

  of a way that I can complain that's kind

  of funny I think those those are my two

  markers for if I'm going to complain

  publicly about a company on Twitter I

  think those are the two that I'm that

  I'm looking for oh there's a third fact

  I agree with those two but there's a

  third factor for me and it's how

  urgently do I need this problem solved

  so you know I had a thing where my phone

  stopped working and I couldn't make

  phone calls and it my work ground to a

  halt and I needed that dealt with so you

  know so sometimes if I really need

  something resolved because it's

  preventing me being able to function in

  the way I need to function that is the

  third factor companies companies get

  what they promote and what they promote

  is yell at them on Twitter so they're

  gonna get more of that hello Internet

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  the show I just wanted to bring up

  something about the ad pocalypse gray

  which is a subject that I find quite

  tiresome and I actually really don't

  enjoy talking about but it does seem to

  be an important part of our lives and we

  have a reputation for talking about it

  now so well yeah and also I find

  revisiting this topic personally funny

  because I think one of the very first

  times we ever mentioned it my opinion

  was like oh this is gonna blow over and

  we'll never hear about this again

  Frank's working and then YouTube did

  everything within their power to make

  sure that this was going to be an

  eternal problem and so here we are

  you're right about that so there's been

  some recent developments in the last few

  day some on both sides of the of the

  debate that I thought were worth just

  marking one is it seems to be almost

  cyclical that The Times newspaper in

  London owned by Rupert Murdoch owned by

  News Corporation that wants advertising

  money to be in papers and not on YouTube

  and have found success in this tactic of

  pointing out ads are being delivered on

  inappropriate content they have done

  their next big wave this week they found

  a new one it was it was terrorism before

  it was you know can you believe that

  company that coca-cola's being

  advertised on a story about terrorism

  now they've gone to exploitation and

  inappropriate images of children oh just

  like now we're saying last week in the

  world so that that's the new one that

  they've they're really ramping up and

  they're doing front-page stories and

  special investigations about and the

  exact same cycle has happened and there

  is all the companies are there

  you know fleeing and saying we're

  interestingly they're always saying

  we're suspending our advertising until

  this is result right and this has made

  me realize since there were some things

  about this that you were right about

  some things that you were slightly wrong

  about one is you said at the time that

  this is just like a temporary thing and

  the companies will go away and then

  ultimately come back the advert they

  advertising companies because they have

  to advertise here because if they don't

  they die and you're right about that

  because they're always using words like

  we're suspending advertising until this

  is fixed but the other thing is this

  this issue isn't going away and I can

  see this is going to be an issue for

  years to come this is just gonna be

  something that's it gets wheeled out all

  the time until the newspapers are gone

  maybe yeah so it's it's it's rather

  exasperated I did notice it was

  different this time in a way that you

  kind of have foreshadowed and spoken

  about in the past and that is the

  companies aren't saying that's it we're

  taking your advertising away forever

  they're a bit more careful in their

  wording and they say we're suspending

  advertising so and what does that mean

  yeah does that mean you know the

  impression that I have gotten from

  discussing things with people is that a

  lot of this ends up becoming a situation

  where money is simply building up behind

  a dam and then that and then when it

  when that looks like it's all clear at

  the the floodgates are opened again so

  that the let's put this way like the the

  amount of money that a company has

  allocated to spend on YouTube in a

  quarter is still maintained at a

  consistent rate and if the individual

  weeks or month are are not at a

  consistent rate but that's the

  impression that I get is largely what's

  happening so one of the things that you

  know you know I you know I like

  newspapers obviously not used to work in

  newspapers but one of the things that

  has always frustrated me about this is

  kind of the hypocrisy because I think a

  lot of newspapers do a lot of bad things

  too and companies advertise in

  newspapers and I've always thought what

  hang on like your people in glass houses

  here are throwing a lot of stones and

  there was a story that caught my eye

  last week that has opened my eye to

  something else I didn't know it was


  and just to give you a bit of context at

  the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK which

  a lot of people are familiar with and

  isn't regarded very highly for various

  reasons for its sort of sort of

  political stances had this front page

  promotion thing where people could take

  a coupon from that day's paper to the to

  the news agents in London called Paper

  Chase and could get a free roll of

  wrapping paper for their Christmas

  presents a pretty typical kind of you

  know newspaper promotion take your

  coupon from the paper get your wrapping

  paper and it turns out there's this

  organization that I wasn't quite

  familiar with called stop funding hate

  and they're kind of the ad pocalypse

  version of the ad pocalypse except for

  newspapers whatever and whenever

  companies advertise with newspapers they

  don't like that are on their list of we

  don't like you they then go to the

  mattresses and give a hard time to the

  advertisers about that and stop funding

  hate engineered this campaign against

  Paper Chase for being in bed with the

  Daily Mail that was so venomous that

  Paper Chase made a public statement

  apologizing for this promotion and have

  vowed to never advertise or do a

  promotion with the Daily Mail again and

  the stock funding hate apparently have

  done this with various companies

  including our good friends Lego who have

  been shamed into not advertising with

  various newspapers because of this

  campaign so it's the it's the thing

  happening in the opposite opposite

  direction and it's actually something

  that I've kind of spoken about before

  when I said you know when we see

  advertisements on free booted videos on

  Facebook we should we said shame the

  advertisers don't don't take on Facebook

  Facebook don't care go to the advertiser

  and say hey Pepsi do you know that your

  videos are running against all this

  stolen content that's exactly what stop

  funding hate our doing hmm

  so the battle is actually happening in

  both directions fool what do you what do

  you think of this do you know what I'm

  kind of a bit uneasy with it both ways

  yeah I mean that's I think it's I think

  it's hypocritical for me to say that

  stop funding hate are doing the wrong

  thing except that the

  pocalypse people like saying youtubers

  bad YouTube is bad the people they

  actually have the problems with the

  content creators the people who are

  uploading the bad stuff whereas when you

  have a campaign against a newspaper the

  newspaper is deciding what goes in its

  paper it's not like the Daily Mail can

  say hey we can't control what our

  journalists write sorry that our

  columnist wrote a really racist column

  but we can't control that we're just a

  platform mhm that the newspaper does

  have total editorial control over what

  appears in its pages and therefore when

  someone takes them to task for it I

  think there's an extra level of

  accountability that YouTube don't

  necessarily have but I've said in the

  past that I do think YouTube does have

  to serve does have to have some

  accountability for what appears on the

  site as well so for that reason I'm kind

  of oh I don't know what to think about

  this yeah I mean you know my initial

  reaction is of course I think it's funny

  because it's the newspapers getting what

  they're giving right like dishing out a

  thing as like well well well look look

  who comes back around and I do agree

  with you that the newspapers have a

  level of control that YouTube could only

  dream up

  either that that is just fundamentally

  impossible on the YouTube platform but I

  don't know what like with all of this

  stuff I just I feel you know ever since

  we talked about a long time ago like we

  initially started having conversations

  but like mob justice on the Internet

  there is something I just I feel like I

  am permanently and forever uneasy about

  any kind of mob justice on the Internet

  in a way that I didn't used to be yeah

  several years ago and any of this kind

  of stuff where like even you know even

  if I would agree with the mob justice

  perhaps perhaps especially if I would

  agree with the mob justice it feels like

  you should be really cautious about that

  kind of thing right where and and this

  this feels like a similar thing like

  you're trying to

  bully and shame and organization into

  not supporting a thing and it's like I

  know that we can get all worthy about

  what the reasons for doing that are but

  I found I don't know how to put this but

  I feel like I feel what you're saying

  though it's like this is the thin end of

  the wedge versus you know online

  vigilantes like yeah if we start if we

  start doing this all the time where

  where does it stop I guess I guess what

  I'm trying to try and think about here

  is it's a little bit like my my feeling

  about politics where you know we don't

  really talk about politics on the show

  and part of the reason is because I you

  know my personal feeling is like if

  we're not talking about the meta issues

  like if we're not talking about the the

  voting system right we're not talking

  about campaign finance right like then

  we're getting we're getting like dragged

  down into the details of things but well

  like we're never addressing the root

  cause of problems and there's something

  about Internet vigilantism that that is

  more and more in my mind falling into a

  kind of like I think this is a

  fundamental problem in a way but I don't

  know I'm not even sure I can say that

  that harshly or that clearly but it just

  it is just a thing that I find myself

  very very cautious about and it feels

  like we need a better and more

  responsible solution than a kind of

  internet bullying campaign even if it's

  for something that we agree with like

  for the same reason that in a society we

  have laws no matter how much evidence

  you have like against a murderer like we

  still put a murderer on trial because we

  had like we have to go through we have

  to go through the process and there's

  something there's something it feels

  like we need some kind of process on the

  internet that can can handle stuff

  instead of this this sort of like let's

  let's all get riled up about

  about a thing like like even the name of

  this campaign right stop funding hate

  right is like that name is designed to

  stop any conversation about what this

  organization is doing here if you're not

  with the stop funding hate organization

  are you for funding hate right it's like

  ah right huh no of course not

  I think it's funny when you first show

  it to me but I I'm finding more and more

  my brain has this like antibody reaction

  to any anything that starts looking like

  let's gang up on a thing online and

  force them to do what we want like I've

  just I find that I find myself getting

  more and more cautious about that kind

  of behavior on the Internet in any way

  there's also this slightly weird dynamic

  where there's always this third party

  yeah yeah

  so it's like like Paper Chase for the

  news agents other ones are also like

  copying it in the neck and you could say

  well they deserve it because they're

  giving their money to the Daily Mail and

  they know what the Daily Mail is like

  yeah but it's kind of like this indirect

  argument it's like these people have an

  issue with the Daily Mail and they're

  like they're like taking hostages and

  hurting other people to try and damage

  the Daily Mail and there are all these

  sort of other parties who are kind of

  copping it in the neck as a result and

  it feels like know if it was bitchy when

  there is this third party interaction it

  always gets more complicated and again I

  think I think the internet version of

  this is like you they don't go after the

  person like they go after the platform

  that the person is on and that always

  that will they go after the money don't

  yeah yeah it's always about going after

  the money money supply the curia yet

  you're Lively yeah that is an excellent

  point I feel like I feel like we do you

  know Brady Hero is the master of words

  here but I do feel like we need a term

  for this idea about going after

  somebody's livelihood on the internet

  like their there are so many different

  versions of this that it's like it's a

  concept that happens over and over again

  like trying to get someone removed from

  patreon or trying to get someone fired

  from their job or whatever like this is

  a thing that happens all the time of

  this idea like you're going after

  somebody's livelihood where

  for that that livelihood is and again I

  always just feel really cautious about

  that and I think you're I think you're

  right there is something that's that

  feels wrong about when it's a third

  party interaction it feels like you're

  not you're not engaging directly you're

  engaging in a in a sneaky way instead of

  instead of engaging head-on with the

  thing that you don't like you know I

  sometimes worry about the ad pocalypse

  and I think if all the advert us pull

  off the platform and YouTube collapses

  and stuff it could be bad for people

  like you and I but then this deep calm

  comes over me when I realize that if a

  company completely stops advertising on

  Google and YouTube another company will

  come in to fill the void mm-hmm and

  that's what that's what keeps it going

  like if if if coca-cola said all right

  we're not advertising on YouTube anymore

  Pepsi you'd think brilliant yeah

  we will exactly so there is a hope that

  kind of market force as long as you know

  youtuber a really bad company and really

  are doing bad stuff which I don't think

  they are then I'm quite comfortable with

  this kind of chewing and Frau Inc and I

  kind of hope it just doesn't hurt people

  too much it certainly has created an

  absolute debacle on the content flagging

  stuff which we've talked about recently

  so it is it is hurting us regardless and

  while I've said before that I think

  YouTube is in a strong enough market

  position that they don't have to do a

  lot of this I do worry about the I do

  worry about the future of YouTube a

  little bit simp simply because I feel

  like they are beginning to cross an

  annoyance line with a large enough

  number of of creators that I think if I

  was in charge of YouTube that would be a

  thing I would just is it a threat today

  maybe not but it's a thing I would just

  have my eye on that it did as a creator

  who talks to other creators it really

  feels like everybody is super annoyed

  with with the flagging and the way the

  whole system works and we're still just

  the Mickey Mouse of the system that gray

  it's not like Sony and all those people

  who are uploading music videos to

  YouTube er upset and as long as YouTube

  have got them so

  you know I know I know what you're

  saying but I think if I was if I was

  trying to do a start-up to compete with

  you to which I think might be a

  fundamentally impossible thing to do I

  think YouTube might have a pretty secure

  hold on an on the natural monopoly of

  video but let's say I was I was tasked

  to do it right and you had like a

  billion dollar since like okay make a

  startup to compete with you to I

  wouldn't go after the big companies like

  that like the via Muslim the music

  company VEVO and Sony and all this other

  stuff and the millions of hours of

  late-night TV that's on YouTube I would

  go after trying to sway the creators

  because I think if you can sway the

  creators then those big companies will

  just double post their material right on

  YouTube and whatever the YouTube

  competitor is YouTube I love you guys

  I'm not competing with you I don't have

  I don't have a secret startup in the

  works venture capitalist though if

  you're looking for someone to work with

  you know give me a call

  youtube don't listen to that but anyway

  um but I do I do think that that's the

  vulnerable point if there if there is a

  vulnerable point it's people who are

  individual or small creators who have

  loyal audiences

  whereas trying to convince Sony to

  upload onto a competitive competing

  channel is a hopeless cause right

  they're just they're just going to make

  a business decision and the only

  question is can you get your competitor

  big enough that it makes sense for those

  channels to start double posting and

  this is where I think Facebook are

  missing a trick like that but not

  opening things up to smaller operations

  like people like us like this is the

  time to strike because if facebook said

  now look we'll share half the revenue

  with you let's let's do it

  I think they'd get a lot of people and

  then if they started pulling all those

  people across then they could start

  trying to get the big the big guns but

  they're just like so they're so

  close-minded Facebook they're so selfish

  yeah I kind of wonder what Facebook's up

  to I mean you know I don't want to give

  Facebook any any tips here on how to

  defeat YouTube because it's like I

  really don't like Facebook but

  nonetheless I am con

  totally surprised at their at the

  decisions they make with online video

  and it feels like you guys are so close

  like you could you could have this if

  you just changed a few things and they

  don't and I don't understand why and I

  just because I like to believe in a

  somewhat rational world I feel like that

  they must be up to something that we

  can't see or there must be some reason

  why they don't do revenue sharing with

  creators but I don't I don't understand

  it and it seems like it would be the

  most obvious thing to do if you were in

  charge of Facebook should we end with a

  paper cut yeah let's let's round out

  with a paper cut this is this is a

  special paper because this is Brady's

  paper cut meets sports ball call oh god

  what happens when the coroner's cross

  with each other okay what do we get you

  get a square then I guess if we have two

  two corners crossing oh yeah I see what

  you mean yeah I want to send you a

  picture I'll send you a few pictures and

  these pictures have been taken during

  postgame celebrations because the

  baseball season the MLB baseball season

  recently ended so we had lots of happy

  base boulders in the changing rooms

  celebrating wonderful victories okay I'm

  looking I'm looking

  we've got players in the changing rooms

  bottles of champagne being shaken corks

  being popped champagne being sprayed

  everywhere as is the custom celebration

  at the end of a sporting trial do you

  have any initial thoughts

  I mean well they're all wearing ski

  masks so it must be some yes violent

  champagne spraying there this is a this

  is the this is the development in the

  last few years that I am papercut by

  professional athletes in these

  spontaneous moments of happiness for

  years they've been pulling out the

  t-shirts that were pre-made for them

  winning you know congratulations on

  winning which are obviously made weeks

  before they won well yeah but then they

  have but then they've also brought a

  bunch of sometimes customized swimming

  goggles and ski masks to put on their

  faces before they start spraying the

  champagne so they they can protect their

  eyes this seems like the least

  spontaneous and least like

  rugged cool sports thing you could do

  and makes them seem like a bunch of

  wusses I feel like there's a real theme

  here in your complaints as of late Brady

  but yes it's like yeah you know you have

  to have your Dewey beats Truman t-shirts

  all set and ready to go of course you

  know I have to have them ready imprinted

  but but the but the goggles the goggles

  do like to look like a bunch of wusses

  I'm not gonna lie and it just it just

  ruins the moment for me saying it just

  it no longer seems like this moment

  where we were just so happy we couldn't

  control ourselves it's like okay okay

  everyone put on your goggles for safety

  and now we will have the fan yeah these

  are these are fun approved goggles I

  like that this is it's it's it's more

  health and safety go on man I'm sure

  someone will tell me some story about a

  champagne cork that ruined a baseballers

  career or how the acidity of champagne

  can ruin your vision or something but

  hey if if if spraying champagne is

  celebrating at the end of the game is

  unsafe then just don't do it but don't

  don't all start putting goggles on

  because you look you look like you look

  silly yeah if it's the interest you

  should come up with a new tradition yeah

  I know that I don't think the champagne

  is possibly dangerous except for the

  exploding quark if you don't know how to

  handle the champagne bottle but yeah

  this this looks dumb oh yeah coming cute

  with a thumbs down do not approve this

  and I'm sure now everyone's gonna jump

  on reddit like they did about the

  astronauts and say hey you know though

  they've got these multimillion-dollar

  contracts and they've got to protect

  their eyes but come on Brady why are you

  against fun that that's what that's what

  I'm getting all the complaints Brady

  unrealized fine just so you know I'm not

  against the champagne I love I love the

  champagne at the end of the sport I just

  think putting these goggles on

  not only is it like health and safety

  gone mad it just looks it makes the

  whole thing look unnatural and

  premeditated and not like a celebration

  and just something they all knew they

  were going to have to do for the cameras

  later hmm I wonder I wonder if in ten


  they'll be having safety rain jackets

  for the champagne as well like if you

  would rewound time 10 years ago and

  asked someone do you think people will

  have to put on goggles before they open

  champagne no one would have said yes

  right that would have seen ridiculous

  and the idea now of some kind of safety

  raincoat for your champagne seems

  ridiculous but maybe in ten years that

  that's what they'll be doing as well I

  love special coverings for themselves so

  they don't get hurt by the champagne I

  just so that we don't end on me being

  anti fuckin who can I bring up one other

  interesting story us or a few weeks ago

  that touches on various topics you one

  being like insurance and safety in that

  and the other being Twitter which we've

  talked about a lot today there was a new

  story a little while ago where a famous

  soccer player from England was on

  holiday with his wife and he took I

  don't know what they were doing that

  skiing or something and he tweeted or

  instagrammed or whatever he did saying

  they're having a good time you know what

  he was up to and because he did that

  thieves knew that he wasn't in his

  lovely mansion in England who cleaned

  out the place took all his stuff took

  thousands and thousands of pounds worth

  it was nice done and his insurance

  company wouldn't pay because they said

  tweeting that he was on holiday was a

  security breach that voided his

  insurance policy and this was whole

  debate going on now about whether or not

  if you tweet that you're away from your

  house and your house gets robbed whether

  you should be insuring and I want to

  know what you think of that I agree with

  the insurance company on this one and

  this is actually a moment to answer a

  question that a bunch of people have

  asked which is you remember for a while

  I had the gray health bot that was

  tweeting out my weight every day yeah I

  stopped that in no small part because I

  realized after I was traveling that that

  thing was was essentially an indicator

  of if I was traveling or if I was not

  traveling because I'm I'm not bringing

  my internet-connected scale with me

  wherever I go and even if I was bringing

  it I would be in a different time zone

  and the the weight measurements would go

  up at a different time and I felt

  uncomfortable with having a very clear

  indicator on the Internet

  about when I was or was not home so I

  stopped that I stopped doing that and

  III feel like I got to go with the

  insurance company on this one yeah if

  you're tweeting about not being home I

  can I can see that that's uh that's a

  definitely like an invitation to burgle

  a house in a way difficult situation

  there was a not so funny it's an

  unfortunate situation where you know

  people who want who likes sharing their

  adventures and stuff okay let's let's

  take the internet out of this do you

  think if it's a Brady the next time you

  go on vacation you pack up all your

  things you're gonna be really diligent

  on Twitter you're not gonna say anything

  but you put a big sign in the front yard

  that says we are not home and and you

  only take it down when you return what

  how do you feel about that well there's

  two different there's a different thing

  going on them but yeah oh I know it I

  know it's a different thing going on

  this is what I feel like this is a

  patented Brady analogy right ladies it's

  like we've subtly shifted the ground

  here but I'm just I'm curious

  if you had done such a thing and you got

  robbed and the insurance company said

  you put a please rob me sign in front of

  your your house no we're not gonna cover

  it no no no no no they've changed the

  analogy now you've said please rub my

  side is different I'm not right okay oh

  I think insurance companies should cover

  you for normal behavior and is normal

  behavior to go on a holiday and share

  pictures while you're on holiday and

  like how far do we have to take this

  you're saying we have to create like all

  these deceptions like next they're going

  to say you have to start pre-programming

  Facebook posts of photos of you at home

  that automatically upload every two or

  three days when you're on holiday as an

  extra layer of protection yeah actually

  I have how far is this gonna go how much

  how much onus is on us like if you if

  you left a sign at the front saying my

  house is unlocked you are free to come

  and take stuff okay the insurance

  company could probably say well hang on

  yeah that is not even burglary yeah but

  posting a picture like it's not like the

  house wasn't locked like you are allowed

  to be not home and going to

  things I mean this happens to footballer

  sometimes when they're playing games Oh

  overseas like you know they're playing a

  big famous game like there was one

  footballer who was playing something

  like a Champions League farm or

  something over in Europe and because it

  was such a big game they knew his family

  will be going to watch and he got robbed

  while he was playing in that game mmm

  cuz everyone everyone knew everyone

  associated with him was gonna be away

  from the house hmm so I mean I don't

  know I don't know I think that's

  interesting I feel like that puts a real

  wrinkle in my thoughts there that

  comparison because I agree the insurance

  should cover it if he's at work right

  but how is how is that different if his

  work happens to be going to a sports

  game it's out of town right is that any

  is that any different from posting on

  Twitter his family vacation photos I

  would have a very hard time articulating

  why I feel like that's difference and so

  maybe maybe you're finding a little bit

  of a there's a there's a wrinkle here

  that I feel like I'm um I've cast doubt

  on my certainty from before hmm

  interesting it is an interesting dilemma

  do you tweet though while you're away

  yeah hmm I sometimes do it's interesting

  it's interesting not always no ways but

  yeah I do I feel I feel very aware of it

  I mean you're unusually um go ahead

  Brady you can say whatever words it's

  puffing into your head I know there's

  some word I would describe you as a

  warrior you are a person who finds

  things to worry about so I can imagine

  when you're traveling you would you

  would see the worry there is a side

  effect here that often when I'm

  traveling I have a very hard time

  keeping up with even just the normal

  things in life like I'm usually

  traveling for a very clear purpose and

  so I don't want to do a bunch of other

  stuff so it is much more easy than

  normal to not tweet when I'm traveling

  but but I I'm the opposite I find out I

  suddenly have all this spare time and I

  get angry at myself for eating too much

  you know I'm sitting I'm sitting you

  know by the beach and you know I'm in

  the shade because I don't like being

  here too much direct Sun and I'm sitting

  there for like two hours and I'm

  thinking hmm bit bored might wait

  once again I find I find that so

  interesting are completely opposite

  experiences yeah it's I'm I feel like I

  am very monomaniacal when I'm traveling

  and and so yeah I don't I don't treat

  very much but I but when I do I am

  always aware of tweeting stuff and I

  often and I put not I don't even tries

  to say it exactly but I do often really

  time shift when I'm traveling when the

  actual tweet goes up yeah like I think I

  have never tweeted about being at a

  place when I'm at the place right I get

  is always later in time then then it

  would be so I'm also just aware like

  moving things around even when I am

  tweeting and I'm and I'm on a trip but

  yeah I might be a bit of a bit of a

  special case in that one but for sure an

  insurance company no matter what we'll

  always be trying to find a way to not

  pay on the policy

  yeah that's a microphone mr. chompers

  that's how uncle gray does his podcasts

  okay now no chomping the microphone and

  chomp your bone