Roderick on the Line

Ep. 274: "Lord Sword"

 

  hyejeong hi Marilyn how's it going good [TS]

  this is so weird this is so weird [TS]

  there's so many people here and I can't [TS]

  get sick I cannot be sick don't blow [TS]

  your flu on Marilyn I tried to play it [TS]

  off legit but I've been fucking Howard [TS]

  Hughes all night everything is literally [TS]

  asses and literally elbows very nice to [TS]

  meet you shall we do the bump [TS]

  I made him hug me and I actually was so [TS]

  sick three days ago you were so I was so [TS]

  sick my daughter threw up on me as kids [TS]

  do I don't know it's lovely when they do [TS]

  it it's so sweet yeah when you're a [TS]

  parent cherish those moments and someone [TS]

  had been feeding her Cheetos so it was [TS]

  like a thing that was never gonna come [TS]

  out [TS]

  and then 60 hours to the minute later [TS]

  mm-hmm I felt really bad inside but [TS]

  unlike a little child I refused to throw [TS]

  up because I'm a big boy and so I fought [TS]

  it just valiantly fought it for 12 [TS]

  straight hours of just like misery so [TS]

  you were on the verge that you knew that [TS]

  you could have some did you think it was [TS]

  gonna be relief or would you be so mad [TS]

  at yourself for giving up that it [TS]

  wouldn't even feel good at a certain [TS]

  point I wanted the relief and then I [TS]

  could not what about what about [TS]

  downstairs was Italian upstairs not for [TS]

  it was one of those things that could go [TS]

  either direction standing at the [TS]

  crossroads yeah and get angry cthulhu [TS]

  inside you can't decide I'll decide [TS]

  which way I'm going [TS]

  don't you worry about that the devil was [TS]

  there it wanted to look like it under [TS]

  George he came up to Manhattan and there [TS]

  were a few times where I was like this [TS]

  is it I'm gonna throw up and I went yeah [TS]

  and nothing and then finally finally at [TS]

  the end of the night I said goodbye to [TS]

  everybody good night I'll see you guys [TS]

  tomorrow [TS]

  went up to the room and the people in [TS]

  the five hotel rooms around mine all [TS]

  called the fire department [TS]

  because I was just like there appears to [TS]

  be some kind of a wraith a portal open [TS]

  to the upside down eatos you know yeah [TS]

  kids are inconsiderate about that kind [TS]

  of stuff I can't get sick it can't [TS]

  happen I've had I'm not but like I know [TS]

  how I know where this is I don't know [TS]

  where this has been the thing about the [TS]

  flu and they're saying about the H 2 & 3 [TS]

  I mederma get it right getting that [TS]

  right any biologist named MH 2 & 3 thank [TS]

  you a big fan and even their last three [TS]

  albums it's a real bad one and you know [TS]

  you can't you can't inoculate against it [TS]

  it just comes and it does what it wants [TS]

  with you it takes you and it's in its [TS]

  meaty paws yes and I yeah well when the [TS]

  big flu comes when the when the disaster [TS]

  flu comes what are we going to do like I [TS]

  don't care about other people I mean us [TS]

  do you think you think we should work [TS]

  out a plan and how do we survive yeah do [TS]

  you is that one you just go home and you [TS]

  say I'm not going to work for a month [TS]

  six months I feel like the last week has [TS]

  demonstrated a lot of things about ill [TS]

  prepare how ill-prepared we are on so [TS]

  many levels in this country for so many [TS]

  different things my daughter and I had [TS]

  had a nice day at the Museum [TS]

  doot-doot-doot to do I pick up my phone [TS]

  oh my god Hawaii had this whole thing [TS]

  happened and then my favorite part of [TS]

  that was the headlines that were like [TS]

  this message accidentally went out and [TS]

  lots of people panicked I was like [TS]

  that's not panicking panic is you think [TS]

  you might be at acumen like they holy [TS]

  shit my kabobs gonna suck I need to do [TS]

  an insta card that's panicking you will [TS]

  die in 35 minutes from missile I [TS]

  wouldn't call that panicking I call it I [TS]

  talk to my daughter but it's do you [TS]

  think that's real normal if we find out [TS]

  we're gonna die in 34 minutes like yeah [TS]

  that would suck I think panic and [TS]

  fucking hard if there's one place in the [TS]

  world that should not have a nuclear [TS]

  warning system its Hawaii well how can [TS]

  we help them what are you gonna say get [TS]

  on your [TS]

  recycle and drive real fast around like [TS]

  it's coming in the roosters well shave [TS]

  the shave ice like with air everything [TS]

  is literally outside they can't get the [TS]

  can't get the roosters to stop crowing [TS]

  how are they gonna stop a bomb I didn't [TS]

  mean it in the best possible way now [TS]

  it's a ping pong there's no stopping it [TS]

  no no it's not pimple but I'm gonna run [TS]

  to a different Island if there's a tidal [TS]

  wave alarm it makes sense because [TS]

  there's always somewhere in Hawaii that [TS]

  you can go up that's right every one of [TS]

  those is an island that the Big Island [TS]

  the biggest yes this is the big it has [TS]

  the two uppers two places and all of [TS]

  Hawaii is that right yeah yeah big big [TS]

  big ups yeah but so when the when the [TS]

  tidal wave alarm goes off which is like [TS]

  wow its klaxon you're like oh yeah but [TS]

  the bomb it's like kiss your ass [TS]

  good-bye yeah yeah no that's not good so [TS]

  what you think we should have a plan so [TS]

  like we like to think we have a plan [TS]

  because if you have the earthquakes here [TS]

  in the area and that's why we had one I [TS]

  was sitting there watching Netflix is [TS]

  that a very old couch as you know [TS]

  squeaky scream a literally makes that [TS]

  same and I thought this is it this is it [TS]

  because we have not gotten reproduces [TS]

  the last time we got prepared for [TS]

  hurricane which is when we did what they [TS]

  said on NPR and we filled the emergency [TS]

  bucket which is what's your college you [TS]

  get a bucket you can get a garbage can [TS]

  you seal it you fill it full of water [TS]

  one day we went out there and literally [TS]

  everything was mildewed the water [TS]

  apparently I went into some kind of a [TS]

  Synecdoche New York fugue state and [TS]

  didn't realize that I had not checked on [TS]

  the emergency bucket for three years [TS]

  everything was blue it might as well [TS]

  have been in Hawaii none of it was good [TS]

  the bed thing the tent the fake bed the [TS]

  fake tent the faint radio all of it gone [TS]

  yeah I feel utterly unprepared I need to [TS]

  start over I need to reboot this is one [TS]

  of the things that people that are [TS]

  storing a large amounts of cash I need [TS]

  to remember well that's bad it goes bad [TS]

  okay mice like to eat cash you'll get to [TS]

  lot you get the mold in the cash you'll [TS]

  get the the lime in the coconut you get [TS]

  it all shake it all around [TS]

  and and so if you're you got it you got [TS]

  to put the cash in some into some rap [TS]

  then you could put the rap into some you [TS]

  put some you dip it in wax okay and so [TS]

  you got to protect your cash same is [TS]

  true with sous-vide things you suck it [TS]

  out take the air out that's right right [TS]

  you get your spoons your toothpicks your [TS]

  cash that's right to do with German [TS]

  bearer bonds German bearer bonds and [TS]

  coffee thing is ladies and gentlemen the [TS]

  FB I was the one who was an Eddie Murphy [TS]

  floor where they put the stuff in coffee [TS]

  so you couldn't smell the drugs wasn't [TS]

  that any Murphy thing that was the [TS]

  Beverly Hills Cop okay then what was the [TS]

  German what was the German bearer bonds [TS]

  that was that like every other move oh [TS]

  that was the greatest Christmas movie of [TS]

  all time die hard [TS]

  now I heard that was a pretty mixed [TS]

  response man I feel like that's a meme [TS]

  and everybody's like played out played [TS]

  out meme so have you seen this have you [TS]

  seen the video the fella who gets real [TS]

  frustrated at work and he knocks over [TS]

  his computer monitor it's really quite [TS]

  funny it's called bad day my mom of [TS]

  course has a plan which is which is that [TS]

  you have to eat through your disaster [TS]

  food and be replenishing your disaster [TS]

  food in the wake of your own consumption [TS]

  of priorities almost like the power went [TS]

  out right so to shut down all the [TS]

  popsicles before the ice goes away when [TS]

  she moved out of her house she showed up [TS]

  at my house with duffel bags full of [TS]

  cornmeal and cans hey Johnny cake can't [TS]

  ya like just all this stuff that is that [TS]

  is her blend of disaster requirements to [TS]

  feed the neighborhood because she feels [TS]

  like if you feed the neighborhood that's [TS]

  60 people that won't be like Cormac [TS]

  McCarthy meets Dickens it's just gonna [TS]

  be all kinds of really unpleasant food [TS]

  that nobody wants like it's always [TS]

  emergency food you buy all this shit [TS]

  that you would never in a million you're [TS]

  like kippered sardines and you're like I [TS]

  don't even know what any of those things [TS]

  are I think she feels like if you have a [TS]

  fish fry for the neighborhood okay [TS]

  they don't assault your citadel quite as [TS]

  rapidly and maybe they [TS]

  will form a first line of defense [TS]

  against the the people in the neighbor [TS]

  and that's something to offer [TS]

  yeah so the johnnycake they're like you [TS]

  know you can't assault the Citadel of [TS]

  johnnycake lady right and then they they [TS]

  fight off the zombies for you that's her [TS]

  whole plan but she moved all that shit [TS]

  into my barn cuz she doesn't have a [TS]

  house anymore and she told your book I [TS]

  think she's in your barn sounds like [TS]

  such a fire trap at this point no no no [TS]

  does that Johnny cake won't burn burn [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  yeah it's true everything was blue here [TS]

  did you follow me you follow me they [TS]

  tell you that you get a garbage can from [TS]

  the Home Depot that has the latches on [TS]

  it [TS]

  take it off put all your stuff in there [TS]

  that's all fake stuff the read is a [TS]

  piece of shit it's not really gonna [TS]

  charge your phone grow up [TS]

  you get to get these beds you'd never [TS]

  want to sleep when you get a tent that's [TS]

  obviously gonna be users like oh it's [TS]

  really cute [TS]

  it looks like a McDonald's bag and it's [TS]

  got a rope and like that's we're gonna [TS]

  serve families gonna sleep in that and [TS]

  then all these little things that you [TS]

  looks like you bought at the Air and [TS]

  Space Museum as a gift for a kid you [TS]

  don't like right [TS]

  oh it's astronaut ice cream whatever [TS]

  like that's your food and like none of [TS]

  that stuff's that I would eat I you know [TS]

  I look I should put like a clam chowder [TS]

  in there or something some beans [TS]

  something I would really enjoy I don't [TS]

  think I've ever had a johnnycake four [TS]

  hundred cans of chili is what's in mine [TS]

  [Laughter] [TS]

  you're gonna want it you're gonna want [TS]

  to not go there forever this is Ben this [TS]

  is just to be clear this is the cans are [TS]

  blue they're live literally been in a [TS]

  garbage can [TS]

  since it's the old it's are you familiar [TS]

  with the jim bakker buckets the jim [TS]

  bakker buckets I am familiar with Jim [TS]

  Baker buckets I know Jim Baker from back [TS]

  in the day from Jim and Tammy Lee Jim [TS]

  Tammy Faye Tammy Faye Tammy Lee Who am I [TS]

  thinking of who wants to stand by your [TS]

  man Jim Baker [TS]

  Tammy Lee had a television show and she [TS]

  was married oh she was married to Regis [TS]

  Philbin okay I know he made Regis [TS]

  Philbin leave Tammy who was in fact the [TS]

  winningest General of the Civil War [TS]

  give me that again we just openly we [TS]

  just felt been late yeah okay something [TS]

  either would run through the airports [TS]

  and the commercials that was that's BJ [TS]

  BJ from Sausalito no he had the bear [TS]

  okay PJ PJ Honeycutt in his best friend [TS]

  Bear okay I remember that story that was [TS]

  a good story but you know Jim and Tammy [TS]

  and you and but that didn't extend to [TS]

  knowing the buckets or just lost it for [TS]

  a while I lost Cena yeah I was coming up [TS]

  at a time when there was it was big [TS]

  pastor as we used to call it and this [TS]

  was when I looked in Sarasota there was [TS]

  a guy who who owned a dog track near [TS]

  where I went to school I'm going [TS]

  somewhere with this gather round [TS]

  children this is the guy when Oral [TS]

  Roberts said that if he didn't get hush [TS]

  money from somebody God would take him [TS]

  and this guy I think gave him some money [TS]

  because of that he had your Jim Baker's [TS]

  he had your Jimmy Swaggart you had your [TS]

  ernest angley who liked to heal people [TS]

  by not gonna over kind of heavy guy he [TS]

  had that now Jim Baker today I lost the [TS]

  thread for awhile now he's back he's got [TS]

  no hair a beard in a bucket that's right [TS]

  and he's selling buckets right and left [TS]

  if anybody doesn't know he's a prepper [TS]

  is it he's prepping he's a prepping he's [TS]

  prepping [TS]

  I think he's prepping for I'm not sure [TS]

  what he's prepping for it seems like he [TS]

  maybe he leaves that part out [TS]

  how's your eschatology my eschatology [TS]

  yeah I mean are you like pretty good [TS]

  with understanding how the end days work [TS]

  oh yeah pretty much I mean I'm assuming [TS]

  they're know about the millennium I know [TS]

  about okay you know that one that [TS]

  already went and she stole your [TS]

  underwear no no I mean after that I mean [TS]

  after the rat come on any Church of [TS]

  Christ in the house you got so first you [TS]

  can you guys you got your ass get this [TS]

  rapture over here all of a sudden their [TS]

  answer whole bunch of plants like Toyota [TS]

  Tacomas are empty pants pants pants [TS]

  that's crying girl pants pants pants [TS]

  pants pants [TS]

  old pervert right but the pants are down [TS]

  everybody's gone that is the first wave [TS]

  is gonna trigger the first elevator to [TS]

  have them take some up now I'm trying [TS]

  might have the order a little mixed up [TS]

  LeMat a little behind masks atala G I [TS]

  think there's a time though you have [TS]

  visitors like that there's help me out [TS]

  on this I know eventually you got heaven [TS]

  and in between you got the Millennium [TS]

  you got was a thousand years on earth [TS]

  that's right I get this is the sign of [TS]

  the beast [TS]

  right [TS]

  right so if all of their collectively [TS]

  just go suck Sarah and then there's the [TS]

  disco comes back and a lot of people [TS]

  don't like new orders technically a [TS]

  disco ban but a lot of that was very it [TS]

  was very homophobic well it wasn't just [TS]

  about baseball they were named after [TS]

  comfort women is that right now what do [TS]

  i division well the event yeah third [TS]

  base now the thing is I don't know what [TS]

  kind of prepping is is it a doomsday [TS]

  prep an apocalypse prep whatever it is [TS]

  you're gonna have your beans you're [TS]

  gonna have your fake tent you're you're [TS]

  grinding radio what's gym bigger put in [TS]

  one of those Bibles my assumption is [TS]

  that they are that there are more [TS]

  Calvinists about it and they feel like [TS]

  they're the elect right so they're gone [TS]

  in the first wave so I don't know what [TS]

  they're prepping for maybe they're [TS]

  leaving that for their cousins and stuff [TS]

  that didn't actually a super good idea [TS]

  if you're making your own bucket if you [TS]

  roll your own for your bucket your house [TS]

  stuff that you enjoy in it hmm maybe [TS]

  there's a White Ribbon bucket it's for [TS]

  the people you don't like maybe so much [TS]

  my question for you is once you've found [TS]

  the blue bucket once you've found your [TS]

  bucket hot-glue mmm [TS]

  did you just abandon the whole idea [TS]

  you're like a fucking it's so easy when [TS]

  you're not thinking about it and then [TS]

  one night you're watching TV you're like [TS]

  I really need to get on this let's see [TS]

  KQED every year when we give Lana kqd [TS]

  kqed.org you can go give money they do [TS]

  good work that's right Michael Krasny [TS]

  MRA and dorks [TS]

  they actually literally they're big [TS]

  premium one eight hundred nine eight [TS]

  seven eight and they do this every year [TS]

  they go once again we are offering the [TS]

  total survival bucket this is a [TS]

  five-gallon bucket filled with [TS]

  everything that your family will need [TS]

  for three days plus a toilet seat that [TS]

  you put on to the five gallon bucket [TS]

  because presumably in the future the [TS]

  people who were left behind when they [TS]

  take your shit are going to have to [TS]

  empty five gallons worth of supplies [TS]

  that is everything I've left on the [TS]

  planet so they can shit in the bucket [TS]

  I'm guessing then you don't have water [TS]

  to clean it out maybe it comes with a [TS]

  special liner I'll have to ask KQED [TS]

  that's not a prepper thing that's just [TS]

  more like a liberal that's a liberal [TS]

  fantasy kind of thing I mean three days [TS]

  is exactly enough time to really feel [TS]

  your death [TS]

  and then rise some people could you [TS]

  allow it three days I mean I feel like [TS]

  if you what your plan needs to be how do [TS]

  I get the hell out of here for good how [TS]

  do I leave these other suckers be high [TS]

  on it just like all sit indian-style [TS]

  around a three-day bucket and life watch [TS]

  it go down the eldritch horror [TS]

  maybe we should agree that one person's [TS]

  bucket is used for this in one person's [TS]

  bucket you know that's why all those [TS]

  people in Montana have so many guns [TS]

  because they feel like our three-day [TS]

  plan is get from here to there is like [TS]

  the the guy getting chase for the tiger [TS]

  he says I don't need to be faster than [TS]

  the tiger I just need to be faster than [TS]

  you yeah that's on the Montana flag and [TS]

  there's someone shooting someone else in [TS]

  the head execution-style I was having I [TS]

  was having dim sum with Ben Harrison and [TS]

  that was his fortune cookie two days ago [TS]

  you don't have to be faster than the [TS]

  bear except it was it was one of those [TS]

  over over long fortunes I was like now I [TS]

  don't have to be faster than the bear [TS]

  you just have to be faster than your [TS]

  other friend who is not as fast as the [TS]

  mayor the lottery numbers on the back [TS]

  did have a lot of notes I got a lot of [TS]

  fucking problems with fortune cookies [TS]

  they're too long too many of them are [TS]

  aphorisms and not actual fortunes right [TS]

  or good you are a nice person [TS]

  no I'm not that's not a fortune fuck [TS]

  that there's a fortune cookie factory [TS]

  like a famous fortune cookie factory [TS]

  the fifth famous fifth famous fortune [TS]

  cookie factory in the state was [TS]

  fortunately factory yeah is in Fillmore [TS]

  450 it's it's on Fillmore San [TS]

  Francisco's Chinatown service a good [TS]

  Chinatown is that right [TS]

  yeah you can go I'm gonna get a full [TS]

  drone you get you get a tour [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  although you're gonna pull a second Oh [TS]

  Merlin I just did a shields and Yarnell [TS]

  version of I guess making a fortune [TS]

  cookie right on his dick it was really [TS]

  weird fifth largest fortune for cooking [TS]

  factor you think that's right right in [TS]

  the Chinatown it's right there and you [TS]

  were this is city the heart of the city [TS]

  where it all converges that's right [TS]

  although a lot of people don't know this [TS]

  fortune cookie was actually a Japanese [TS]

  invent turns out yeah sorry [TS]

  there's no good asshole okay Logan [TS]

  Roderick Robinson science ruin and shit [TS]

  for me [TS]

  I thought Squatch isn't real showed up [TS]

  this is San Francisco you guys turns out [TS]

  moment at least we live for the turns [TS]

  out people want to get their money's [TS]

  probably what it turns out inside if it [TS]

  turns out inside if it turns out we want [TS]

  a full complement if you get five [TS]

  hundreds Calder Gladwell so it's a [TS]

  reason it's called hidden brain that was [TS]

  almost a kind of a wave moan if you're [TS]

  gonna decide to live when others are [TS]

  dying you're gonna have to make so you [TS]

  can have to prepare even if it's not [TS]

  strictly prepping preparing you're still [TS]

  gonna have to think ahead you got a and [TS]

  you're gonna have to like stay caught up [TS]

  you're gonna have to make this part of [TS]

  what you do in the same way that I rue [TS]

  the removal of compost from our house [TS]

  every day to go put it in the green [TS]

  bucket like you're gonna have to [TS]

  practically think about your stuff like [TS]

  that it's gonna be like having a fish if [TS]

  you want to live you need to think about [TS]

  your stash you can make sure your cash [TS]

  stays dry your fortune cookies are [TS]

  well-defined right and that your water [TS]

  is not blue and that none of your [TS]

  money's expired the number one thing you [TS]

  have to ask yourself is do you want to [TS]

  live over on the other side of the - [TS]

  apocalypse will you put into it what's [TS]

  needed in order to live well I've told [TS]

  you this story right well I used to work [TS]

  at the magazine store and there were a [TS]

  magazines about if you if you wanted to [TS]

  buy a castle in scotland and i [TS]

  absolutely wanted a castle in scotland [TS]

  it's not a thing that everybody wants [TS]

  but some people wanted that's right in [TS]

  the sweet spot let's hear a round of [TS]

  applause people who want a hot [TS]

  let's hear a round of applause from [TS]

  people who know they don't want a castle [TS]

  in scotland oh the thing about a castle [TS]

  in Scotland I wanted one I wanted one I [TS]

  wanted one and then I started you know [TS]

  populating my imaginary Castle in [TS]

  Scotland with all the things you're [TS]

  gonna put in there a big billiard [TS]

  mysteries you're gonna buy you're gonna [TS]

  buy a lot of chandeliers put them [TS]

  everywhere you're gonna have like the [TS]

  Hall of chandeliers you might have to [TS]

  put in any report kalus right you're [TS]

  gonna get a trebuchet or I don't know [TS]

  it's got a spork all this it's not [TS]

  something you can rely on but then I [TS]

  started reboard the arrow holes got [TS]

  reboard oohs that's right you got a you [TS]

  got to put to repoint the the the [TS]

  masonry yeah yeah but then I started to [TS]

  imagine oh and then you can have your [TS]

  own heraldic crest made that's like [TS]

  named in a band I don't care what genre [TS]

  it is and I can't play an instrument I [TS]

  gotta come up with a name so you would [TS]

  have to you need a name for your castle [TS]

  II need something Harold think that's [TS]

  right and every house in the United [TS]

  Kingdom has a name even if it's like a [TS]

  1-bedroom apartment it's called like the [TS]

  Finns smoking Tain's of Glenwood on push [TS]

  a door but so after a while I started to [TS]

  you know imagine myself living in this [TS]

  castle you know I have a very small [TS]

  family have one child I have a mother a [TS]

  sister and that my child has a mother [TS]

  and then some we are at this point [TS]

  talking just about sentient beings and [TS]

  not belongings right I do that's right I [TS]

  do a lot of belonging yeah the castle [TS]

  the castle but I bet when you got that [TS]

  bar you sent yourself out never filled I [TS]

  mean I would definitely have a Hall of [TS]

  mismatched swords [TS]

  welcome to Sword Hall but where the [TS]

  private features of Castro that might be [TS]

  what I call the house sword ha ha ha I [TS]

  like that fun Lord sword it's a man in [TS]

  the bathrobe rampant on a castle this [TS]

  episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by Squarespace [TS]

  you can learn more about Squarespace [TS]

  right now by going to squarespace.com [TS]

  I'm a huge fan of Squarespace as a [TS]

  listener of this show you are using [TS]

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  announce an upcoming event or projects [TS]

  so much more it's all part of [TS]

  Squarespace Squarespace that's all this [TS]

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  make it yourself you can easily stand [TS]

  out with creating a beautiful website [TS]

  all by yourself it's beautiful you make [TS]

  it yourself it's all in there you don't [TS]

  need another person you can just do it [TS]

  all take it dream it make it with [TS]

  Squarespace so please right now go to [TS]

  Squarespace comm for a free trial and [TS]

  when you're ready to launch use the [TS]

  offer code supertrain to save 10% off [TS]

  your first purchase of a website or [TS]

  domain our thanks to Squarespace for [TS]

  supporting Roderick on the line and all [TS]

  the great shows but but like I started [TS]

  to realize like Who am I going to talk [TS]

  to like getting the castle I didn't have [TS]

  instantly like more friends yeah I [TS]

  didn't have any vassals it's not like [TS]

  gonna pick up in [TS]

  College you get a pickup truck in [TS]

  college everybody's your friend that's [TS]

  right good Castle in Scotland there's a [TS]

  load and I started to picture myself [TS]

  going down to the local pub and then I'm [TS]

  the American who calls himself Lord [TS]

  sword that comes down to the pub [TS]

  sometimes and wants to play darts like [TS]

  not oh here comes Lord sword so this is [TS]

  what you look at me I've got a new [TS]

  portcullis [TS]

  you have to think about my moat don't [TS]

  stink the post-apocalypse like who what [TS]

  are you gonna who'd gonna hang out with [TS]

  so much me but also so much maintenance [TS]

  yeah you're right you're right who would [TS]

  you hang out with would it be other [TS]

  castle dwellers but we're talking about [TS]

  here in San Francisco you're talking to [TS]

  living in the sunset live in sunset [TS]

  every 8th house is occupied yeah the [TS]

  rest are just full of bodies that died [TS]

  in the flue yeah and you guys are here [TS]

  you got your bucket they got their [TS]

  bucket here every once in a while [TS]

  sheriff buck if you should trade fuck [TS]

  you let's get that work you look it you [TS]

  wash my bucket I'll wash yours [TS]

  fudge-like is the sunset see the problem [TS]

  is that you know infrastructural there's [TS]

  all kinds of things I mean it's gonna be [TS]

  difficult you know gosh what if the word [TS]

  up the reservoir gets a crack and all [TS]

  the water comes down the main problem in [TS]

  my neighborhood is if next door goes out [TS]

  nobody is gonna have any idea what [TS]

  there's one guy in my neighborhood in [TS]

  particular I cannot imagine this guy [TS]

  surviving he's so upset about people who [TS]

  look like they might be stealing his [TS]

  packages I don't think he even has a [TS]

  bucket ready let me ask you as someone [TS]

  who gets a lot of packages do you think [TS]

  that packages routinely get stolen from [TS]

  people's front porches I mean I think it [TS]

  does definitely happen but it's one of [TS]

  those things where you can well [TS]

  obviously it's like any of these things [TS]

  where you know what is it or well say [TS]

  like if you get these people freaked out [TS]

  enough you don't need your packages [TS]

  stolen you mentally stealing your own [TS]

  packages all the time you just you just [TS]

  err you're so intense it's like that [TS]

  person that person was near my bush for [TS]

  too long I don't like the look of that [TS]

  person who wears who wears something [TS]

  with a hood in this kind of weather it [TS]

  would seem to me that most package [TS]

  thieves would end up with like seven [TS]

  hundred bottles of contact lens solution [TS]

  yeah for every one interesting thing [TS]

  it's kind of a contact lens solution [TS]

  diapers and porn I mean people get porn [TS]

  male I'm a pigeon not not everybody has [TS]

  a computer set not everything's like [TS]

  you've never that you can send to the [TS]

  store [TS]

  it gets Bitcoin mining from the look of [TS]

  goodwill some people got to do it on [TS]

  their own they gotta watch it on the VCR [TS]

  I'm you know I'm Amazon Prime it never [TS]

  occurred to me at your recommendation [TS]

  yes on prime never occurred to me to put [TS]

  porn in there and see what happened can [TS]

  you get porn on Amazon you might want to [TS]

  look at the Kindle Store but that's like [TS]

  porn where Fabio like takes you in his [TS]

  arm wish do you want to know there's [TS]

  like but but Kindle only has black and [TS]

  white letters yeah but it's about having [TS]

  sex with a billionaire dinosaur kid you [TS]

  know what don't get out your phones [TS]

  because I want you to pay attention to [TS]

  what John has to share with you at your [TS]

  earliest convenience please go into [TS]

  Amazon and search for things like [TS]

  billionaire and dime it's cuz that [TS]

  dinosaur is gonna teach you a fuckin [TS]

  lesson about how to reimburse your [TS]

  disbursements is it is it fanfic is that [TS]

  what it is [TS]

  no it's professionally written shitty [TS]

  writing that you can get deployed via [TS]

  the Wi-Fi and it's about you know [TS]

  fucking dinosaurs and billionaires [TS]

  because the all kinds of different [TS]

  combinations you just have something to [TS]

  do with like tentacle porn ah except is [TS]

  like small arm tiny big thighs small [TS]

  small forearms you go the brothers can't [TS]

  deny so do you feel like you're pretty [TS]

  preps I mean if you if you uh you've got [TS]

  a castle of your own right now you have [TS]

  a perimeter that is very very well [TS]

  regulated what are you doing here [TS]

  militia yep I have an escape an escape [TS]

  vehicle right a anti apocalypse motor [TS]

  van your GMC RV I have a I have a barn [TS]

  that is defendable I have a I have an [TS]

  empty swimming pool full of logs [TS]

  I have is that the same no wait no hey [TS]

  gay is when you get lines on your jeans [TS]

  yeah what's the thing that's about [TS]

  coziness in Finland is that logs in a [TS]

  pool what's that called logs in a pool I [TS]

  think that's a different thing I don't [TS]

  think that's Jim Baker's bucket by any [TS]

  other name if you have too much of the [TS]

  pepper food you may discover that when [TS]

  you attempt to defecate you find nothing [TS]

  but logs in the pool I don't know about [TS]

  finish come frogs about the coziness do [TS]

  you guys know you guys are he gay is it [TS]

  Hagee who girl the penis whiskers yeah [TS]

  then hygge is this the finned is the fin [TS]

  link Oh someone's got a leak Wow um is [TS]

  the feeling coziness for uh because and [TS]

  the thing is that many I'm sure many a [TS]

  lot of hisses for this but yeah I have [TS]

  I've been spending more time on 4chan [TS]

  again buddy and they have they're one of [TS]

  the threads that's interesting [TS]

  georgeanna is the comfy the comfy thread [TS]

  where they just post pictures of things [TS]

  that are comfy and a lot of them are [TS]

  like little Finnish houses with snow [TS]

  coming down and little there's little [TS]

  that there bishop thomas kane yeah and [TS]

  then the next thread is about people [TS]

  being beheaded in car accidents but the [TS]

  cozy threads are really nice but no i [TS]

  feel like if you think about being ready [TS]

  for for the disaster is not about being [TS]

  ready to defend your perimeter because i [TS]

  think it's very true that by the time [TS]

  you are defending your perimeter you [TS]

  will be defending it against people who [TS]

  are better armed and more motivated it's [TS]

  too late yeah okay there's not you're [TS]

  not defending it against random zombies [TS]

  it's gonna be against people who are [TS]

  driving around in a toyota pickup with a [TS]

  50 caliber machine gun in the back who [TS]

  are like we're taking over right and so [TS]

  don't worry about like guns and fighting [TS]

  just worry about like it's it's the [TS]

  bridge right it's not a three-day bridge [TS]

  it's a 30-day bridge okay [TS]

  can you keep your families [TS]

  and keep yourselves like heated and [TS]

  washed during the time that it takes to [TS]

  reestablish a grid and because what's [TS]

  gonna happen is the first thing that [TS]

  happens is that the the supermarkets [TS]

  aren't stopped anymore because the first [TS]

  thing is gonna happen as you can't call [TS]

  a kid to go pick it up in the [TS]

  supermarket for you well right you know [TS]

  what I think yeah you can't Yelp to [TS]

  decide which restaurant has the best [TS]

  meatballs that's the first thing to go [TS]

  ruin my engagement party one star but [TS]

  we're but we're talking about like the [TS]

  devasting about the 9.9 we're talking [TS]

  about the one with it with the [TS]

  accompanying singer and then all of and [TS]

  then the big fluke um I think it's opens [TS]

  at once is the thing [TS]

  World War one happened and then the big [TS]

  flew and then the and then not very long [TS]

  ten years the stock market crash hit the [TS]

  flap and then right then right after [TS]

  that there was a depression yes then [TS]

  there was another world war in [TS]

  coincidence right and then there's you [TS]

  got wing walkers yeah ticker tape that's [TS]

  right Barnstormers straw boaters and [TS]

  then and then modern jazz no new it was [TS]

  it was the Bitcoin but not the Bitcoin [TS]

  the cryptocurrency of its time let me [TS]

  ask you you've mentioned Bitcoin several [TS]

  times yes your you ever some real talk [TS]

  what is this we're looking at I saw [TS]

  these but I didn't want to look at them [TS]

  because it if it's what I think it is [TS]

  I'm pretty fucking happy we should know [TS]

  what turn away anyway are those should [TS]

  they be upside down if they're from [TS]

  Australia though are those phony or war [TS]

  I think might be phony Awards they [TS]

  really look like funny we did not bring [TS]

  these awards ourselves let's check it [TS]

  out see what it says let's say anything [TS]

  oh it's a phony award it's a phony war [TS]

  awarded to Roderick on the line for most [TS]

  podcast podcast I promised myself I [TS]

  wouldn't cry thank you I just want to [TS]

  say I just wanna say thanks to thanks to [TS]

  everybody this is a very important time [TS]

  and moving them right now and I'm very [TS]

  I'm very excited to have the opportunity [TS]

  to be up in front of you don't play me [TS]

  off thank you thank you I'd like to [TS]

  thank my wife I'd like to let my other [TS]

  wife [TS]

  I really spared no expense here with [TS]

  this dowel is some expenses but but the [TS]

  I think the paint might still well it's [TS]

  an interesting color of gold it's really [TS]

  gold mixed with chocolate it's one thing [TS]

  to never win an award that hasn't been [TS]

  invented yet and it's another thing to [TS]

  win award for a thing that was just made [TS]

  up that doesn't exist and for everybody [TS]

  out there who's ever won of something [TS]

  that didn't exist and didn't understand [TS]

  why they didn't have it I just want to [TS]

  say me too [TS]

  thank you yeah [TS]

  mucuna tatata thank you shatru de patata [TS]

  survival bucket 1-800 that's right no [TS]

  Vic tuna frittata Nelly Furtado let me [TS]

  ask you though about Bitcoin it seems [TS]

  like the type of thing that people would [TS]

  did we start I have noise you feel like [TS]

  me doing this for 30 minutes this time [TS]

  is it now got another goddamn hour to do [TS]

  here well holy shit we'll throw 2 [TS]

  questions after a while and they'll [TS]

  entertain themselves it seems to me [TS]

  there was a moment right where all of us [TS]

  wanted to maybe thought about getting a [TS]

  Bitcoin but then when we looked at how [TS]

  much they cost [TS]

  they were like $40 and it seemed too [TS]

  expensive but you seem like someone who [TS]

  might have gotten a Bitcoin did you get [TS]

  a Bitcoin there's a lot of things that I [TS]

  don't understand I've made a study of [TS]

  not understanding things and I feel like [TS]

  that's something I've gotten kind of [TS]

  good at it's very very difficult for me [TS]

  to understand from what I can gather [TS]

  it's like money but not and you need a [TS]

  computer to make it even though you're [TS]

  not really making it but the [TS]

  distribution of what you've made [TS]

  involves math and lots of people in [TS]

  power and then eventually you can't sell [TS]

  it because the fee is too high and [TS]

  there's too many people trying to do it [TS]

  at the same time their views [TS]

  I think there's oh that's how they get [TS]

  that's how they get you yeah it's a [TS]

  crypto eel so it's it's like the money [TS]

  gets what would you call it distributed [TS]

  the Kazakh Stan Igor 1 million dollar 1 [TS]

  million dollar fee goes to Kazakh Stan [TS]

  are you wearing this no no tell me more [TS]

  he went to Cossacks they know this is [TS]

  the kind of thing this those fat cats [TS]

  don't want you to know you got a 1 [TS]

  million dollar fee in Kazakhstan got it [TS]

  got out that million dollar 3 million [TS]

  dollar fee in Kazakhstan it's not what [TS]

  they call a fiat currency that's the [TS]

  term people like you throw what they're [TS]

  saying real money that's called a fiat [TS]

  currency it's like a made-up phony [TS]

  baloney [TS]

  I think that's based on nothing unlike a [TS]

  made-up phony the loan anything that [TS]

  requires computers in that it's like a [TS]

  fix it again Tony [TS]

  no there's like two Fiat owners in our [TS]

  repair they both live in New Jersey and [TS]

  they're not here to laugh is it one for [TS]

  dodge dodge I did fix it again Tony a [TS]

  fixed or repaired daily which is [TS]

  somebody should have workshop that a [TS]

  little longer is there one for dodge [TS]

  don't obviously dodge great energy it's [TS]

  a backronym it's a person is okay what's [TS]

  your Lamborghini lastly and more [TS]

  ordinarily though lastly and more [TS]

  basically oh really [TS]

  gosh how how is nothing in nothing gosh [TS]

  bikini got a Lambo Lambo 47 Lambos when [TS]

  you were a teenager do you have a [TS]

  supercar that you cared about you don't [TS]

  yes cars now but we're myself what was [TS]

  your supercar your teenage supercar [TS]

  ah-64 TF Mustang over the first one X [TS]

  count grown with the like some kind of [TS]

  special thing or just terrier stock one [TS]

  brownie interior pony interior how does [TS]

  Merlyn know these things I thought that [TS]

  he hated cars I wanted one so I want a [TS]

  blue one with the hexagons and what was [TS]

  it my dreams in my dreams your dreams [TS]

  let me coop dude oh yeah Tudor yeah yeah [TS]

  yeah I like lots of cars but at the time [TS]

  that I had these desires that I couldn't [TS]

  fulfill because money he had the [TS]

  Maverick are the it was called the [TS]

  Mustang - at the time oh it's the [TS]

  long-standing fixed or repaired daily [TS]

  Mustang which which kind of looked like [TS]

  if somebody put tires on an 8-track the [TS]

  Mustang 2 was a was a Pinto that had a [TS]

  horse and a Pinto is a horse [TS]

  hi meal involvement not troubling overly [TS]

  am i right Ralph Nader john-john [TS]

  Roderick what was I feel like I should [TS]

  know this what was your teenage boy [TS]

  dream car I did not go in for all the [TS]

  the puffed up battalion sports things I [TS]

  wanted a like the first year 1966 [TS]

  Porsche 911 but it turns out I would [TS]

  barely fit in one you'd have to take the [TS]

  seed out begin and I could sit in the [TS]

  back I have to take up the wheel and [TS]

  manually manipulate the steering oh and [TS]

  there might be someone in here that has [TS]

  a Porsche who wants to argue with me [TS]

  about whether or not I would fit in it [TS]

  and I don't want to do that that's a [TS]

  complete exaggeration you've fitted a [TS]

  really good but I but there's part of me [TS]

  that's still once one but yeah but all [TS]

  those things have become all the things [TS]

  that I loved that were four assholes [TS]

  then are four bigger asshole Wow because [TS]

  now they can get it yes like me I want [TS]

  this big gym tomorrow like get it bring [TS]

  it to me back then if you saved your [TS]

  money it was conceivable that you could [TS]

  get an old cool car but it's been [TS]

  forever fixed like an mg you get [TS]

  something or you get like a sprite you [TS]

  could fix something I had a friend an [TS]

  austin-healey sprite and was constantly [TS]

  like fixing it up but like you know now [TS]

  today you can get a fucking banana seat [TS]

  bike on Amazon Prime my fingertips [TS]

  assholes [TS]

  I've been looks ever since my truck [TS]

  caught on fire yeah which wasn't that [TS]

  long ago [TS]

  I fixed the truck I took it to my guy he [TS]

  said he said it was gonna be expensive [TS]

  to fix and I said I'm pot committed to [TS]

  this thing it's whatever the cost [TS]

  and so one just a bigger audience up to [TS]

  date enough people are up to date on the [TS]

  show you had you had your truck there [TS]

  was a slight incendiary incident [TS]

  something happened something happens you [TS]

  know 99% of the time when an alternator [TS]

  fails it fails to continue to charge it [TS]

  stops alternating yeah one one in a [TS]

  hundred times what happens is the [TS]

  alternator just gets out of the way of [TS]

  the electricity [TS]

  oh it just says I'm Audi it's like see [TS]

  you later and so 18 volts of pure [TS]

  electricity goes right into everything [TS]

  yeah and it caught it on fire and I put [TS]

  it out with a with an old-fashioned fire [TS]

  extinguisher that just shoots pure hate [TS]

  at everything and as you know hate [TS]

  extinguishes fire yes and paper jams oh [TS]

  and so but now the windshield wipers are [TS]

  always on living perfect with the song [TS]

  in the radio the the the debt the the [TS]

  instruments in the dash are one-by-one [TS]

  blinking out the speedometer no longer [TS]

  works well because all the all the mica [TS]

  from the hate extinguisher went into [TS]

  everything in a while so change that the [TS]

  way they make extinguisher now you don't [TS]

  get as much hate well now it's just it's [TS]

  just a carbon dioxide it just it just it [TS]

  just blankets it with rationality and [TS]

  talks to fire out of it yeah yeah [TS]

  alright bores the shit out of the phone [TS]

  by your logic fire should be everywhere [TS]

  the new logic patents a fire [TS]

  extinguisher but I started looking for a [TS]

  car because I felt like you know I owe [TS]

  it to everyone to have a car that has [TS]

  electricity clutches for you it's it's [TS]

  for the well it's for you and it's for [TS]

  my kid who every time she gets into the [TS]

  car she's like why does your car smell [TS]

  like the inside of a tank legacy and I [TS]

  don't know how she learned how a tank [TS]

  smells but I think it's you know kids [TS]

  are reading weird books now at a young [TS]

  age yeah I think yeah she was reading [TS]

  and she was reading like she she gets [TS]

  that out to visa how this tank smell she [TS]

  and her friends were watching fury right [TS]

  the recent Brad Pitt movie about tank [TS]

  combat oh no one sight to see that bunch [TS]

  of peaceniks in here [TS]

  um problem man anyway so I so so she's [TS]

  like why don't why do you why don't you [TS]

  why this is why this is the thing we [TS]

  have to be in for being on roads smell [TS]

  like this yeah one why do these missions [TS]

  though the smell was not detailed out to [TS]

  your satisfaction even on repeat detail [TS]

  yeah it's not that smell it's just it [TS]

  was the normal smell of the vehicle that [TS]

  smelled like naugahyde covered with [TS]

  motor oil yeah which essentially that's [TS]

  the smell of love that's the finish on [TS]

  these boots that did you guys notice [TS]

  that we're wearing the same boots we can [TS]

  we access this out ahead of time [TS]

  completely accidental when you are a man [TS]

  of a certain age and you wear Doc [TS]

  Martens it communicates that you are not [TS]

  getting old gracefully [TS]

  no forget you in future you know I love [TS]

  the poor sizing of Doc Martens but it [TS]

  like the convenience of a slip-on shoe [TS]

  hi I feel like I get a little bit of a [TS]

  fussy thing going I feel like I should [TS]

  get a nice tight cuff little tight oh [TS]

  good we're doing the pants material it's [TS]

  like things in a trench coat it's never [TS]

  not funny but so I wanna I want a car [TS]

  and I want to get a good car but a [TS]

  legacy I want a stylish car I don't want [TS]

  to drive around in a fuckin old shitty [TS]

  car like a Tercel or one of these new [TS]

  cars people are like why don't you get [TS]

  one of these cars that looks like a [TS]

  Tonka truck and I'm like because I'm not [TS]

  a fucking Fisher Price person you want [TS]

  Honda cute boys you don't wanna hide a [TS]

  cute boy don't get anything the texture [TS]

  something with nuance like a brand [TS]

  koozie something curvy and beautiful [TS]

  that can easily catch on fire and then [TS]

  put some face it's beautiful it's a [TS]

  legacy somebody would communicate [TS]

  something about me to the other drivers [TS]

  namely get out of my way and this guy [TS]

  looks like trouble [TS]

  one of the great things about the truck [TS]

  is not that people see you in the [TS]

  rearview mirror and get out of your way [TS]

  it's that people who are behind you that [TS]

  want you to get out of their way [TS]

  realize that they'd better leave you [TS]

  alone oh boy yeah because it's like I [TS]

  don't want to honk at this thing yeah [TS]

  who knows what's who knows what's [TS]

  driving that it's good I just on the [TS]

  back bumper I have an NRA sticker and a [TS]

  van Halen sticker this is like don't you [TS]

  know don't you don't know which way to [TS]

  go around this car new the new this is [TS]

  kind of a Mimi thing of like you put one [TS]

  sticker over the other like you know you [TS]

  put your I kind of look like the same [TS]

  van Halen sticker over in NR East [TS]

  yeah you ever get people step to you [TS]

  within your vehicle I want to get back [TS]

  to your story but do you have do you [TS]

  ever have to deal with people it's sort [TS]

  of like you were like you never noticed [TS]

  like on Muni and Bart you never see two [TS]

  local denizens like fighting each other [TS]

  they're all like a local denizen is [TS]

  usually like hassling a normal like a [TS]

  lady with a baby like I live in the [TS]

  walls I'm wallpaper man and please just [TS]

  let me have a life but like you never [TS]

  see to people like go have each other I [TS]

  kind of shave each other explain [TS]

  football you know you never see that [TS]

  kind of like I don't know what's going [TS]

  on Aires made of gravy it's always there [TS]

  always going after a normal do you ever [TS]

  have to go up against another crazy [TS]

  vehicle person for predominance the and [TS]

  also the area's made of gravy for sure I [TS]

  don't need a pass it's in my mind the [TS]

  thing about a 1979 GMC Suburban is that [TS]

  you are 100% invisible to 98% of the [TS]

  people in the world they just don't see [TS]

  it because it looks like it it looks [TS]

  like being a 51 year old man well or [TS]

  just it looks like oh I don't know a [TS]

  truck that doesn't belong and so their [TS]

  eyes just don't see it but razzle dazzle [TS]

  in a way it's kind that's right yeah but [TS]

  every seven days a 62 year old black man [TS]

  will tip his hat as [TS]

  bye and I'll be like the back at you sir [TS]

  so there there's just a very small [TS]

  demographic of people that are like nice [TS]

  truck and I feel a real commune of a [TS]

  fraternal community with them but I [TS]

  never it's not like I ever pull over and [TS]

  get out and say like I want to hang and [TS]

  they don't run after a part of the code [TS]

  right no it wouldn't I mean you just you [TS]

  wouldn't always just say like after the [TS]

  apocalypse you wouldn't you just say if [TS]

  you want to get up in my castle no no I [TS]

  think what you do is you want to share a [TS]

  bucket reach down between your seat and [TS]

  you pick up your fire extinguisher and [TS]

  wave it back at [TS]

  but so I wanna I want a car and I [TS]

  decided that what I need to get is some [TS]

  kind of you know I'm gonna get a Fernan [TS]

  job because I'm not gonna get one of [TS]

  these these these human look at Chrysler [TS]

  like candidly his real youth simply [TS]

  leaves every every reach-around stolen [TS]

  Chrysler's I feel like I feel like the [TS]

  truck industry right they've like pumped [TS]

  everything's so pumped up everything's [TS]

  got so many bulbous like fake muscles on [TS]

  it but necessary diesel you got fenders [TS]

  you got the extra wheels in the back [TS]

  like you know what are you gonna do you [TS]

  gonna put extra Bush light back there [TS]

  like what come on stuff up front to like [TS]

  the grills just look like it's just [TS]

  looks like a face on top of a face and [TS]

  so I decided oh I'm gonna get one of [TS]

  these mercedes-benz mercedes-benz [TS]

  because that says a different thing [TS]

  about a man different thing but then you [TS]

  look at them and there are two things [TS]

  about them they're not cheap even when [TS]

  they're used and also you know that [TS]

  every quart of oil you buy has to be [TS]

  Mercedes oil and it's 40 dollars before [TS]

  say so but you're talking like an out of [TS]

  warranty old ass not like you've got to [TS]

  take it to the dealer kind of something [TS]

  that has electricity but but like [TS]

  alright but you know like something cool [TS]

  anyway that's where I'm at right now but [TS]

  I was I was hoping that this year was [TS]

  gonna be like it one of these years [TS]

  where I just made a bunch of money [TS]

  everything happened and I said something [TS]

  a person yeah and I'd settle free either [TS]

  if I could buy like a car from 2012 I [TS]

  would feel like I was really everything [TS]

  was happening [TS]

  singing sister and then I realized it [TS]

  was it was still me that was gonna be [TS]

  doing things and so whatever those [TS]

  dreams of everything working out were [TS]

  still they still had one problem [TS]

  you you are not an option yeah right act [TS]

  like you're your standard on every video [TS]

  I was still gonna make I was still gonna [TS]

  make every decision I would normally [TS]

  make 18 oh man we don't get to fool [TS]

  ourselves anymore it's fucking bullshit [TS]

  it's brutal yeah so you got castles you [TS]

  got cars you got buckets I don't know [TS]

  two people who've never listened to the [TS]

  show this happens on the recordings oh [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  just did I do so much editing on the [TS]

  show you never notice he does do a lot [TS]

  of it oh you've got a this yeah the one [TS]

  thing that I can't that I can't do on [TS]

  the show let my Jesse thorn pocket [TS]

  square yes no one just thorn you I can't [TS]

  notice things about you on the show and [TS]

  I'm noticing that you have a like am [TS]

  watch mode Aaron like everything else [TS]

  about you could have just fallen out of [TS]

  out of somebody's like falling out of [TS]

  like unsuccessful gay porn from the [TS]

  early age or like the the the page of [TS]

  the Sears catalog for cool dads and then [TS]

  from like 80 from 1980 but they're [TS]

  looking at this watch that's just like [TS]

  it's like r2d2 yeah yeah not not as [TS]

  funny after you you have it for a while [TS]

  everybody cares nothing important to do [TS]

  is it it is it mining bit crown you need [TS]

  more focus in your life I don't know I [TS]

  have a lot of problems [TS]

  this is funny to you how Jesus Christ is [TS]

  it Syrian you talk to it can you say so [TS]

  you say watch me watch me this is great [TS]

  it looks good let's do it let's hear it [TS]

  what time is it what did it say who is [TS]

  John roderick john roderick would you [TS]

  like to ask john roderick would you like [TS]

  to split a bucket [TS]

  nothing yet [TS]

  I think it's still mining Bitcoin there [TS]

  is a text here from a friend that says [TS]

  there are a couple of total john [TS]

  roderick dream girls in my Zumba class [TS]

  no photo short curly hair nose mossad [TS]

  combat boots did you say nose mossad [TS]

  vegetable cabrera is really martial art [TS]

  my god this episode of roderick on the [TS]

  line is brought to you in part by Casper [TS]

  you can learn more about Casper right [TS]

  now by visiting Casper comm slash [TS]

  supertrain Casper is the company focused [TS]

  on sleep and they are dedicated to [TS]

  making you exceptionally comfortable one [TS]

  night at a time you spend a third of [TS]

  your life sleeping if you spent a third [TS]

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  to make sure it's the best that can [TS]

  possibly be and that's why you need [TS]

  Casper Casper mattresses are perfectly [TS]

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  it's got all the right support in all [TS]

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  so comfortable well I'll tell you they [TS]

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  for a quality mattress with just the [TS]

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  their breathable design helps to [TS]

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  20,000 reviews and an average rating of [TS]

  4.8 stars Casper is very quickly [TS]

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  mattress good for you Casper you can be [TS]

  sure of your purchase with Casper's 100 [TS]

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  door and if for any reason you don't [TS]

  love it [TS]

  Casper has a hassle-free return policy [TS]

  we are a Casper family I know whereof I [TS]

  speak [TS]

  my wife and I sleep on a Casper my [TS]

  daughter sleeps on a Casper we just love [TS]

  them anytime I travel I'm so looking [TS]

  forward to getting home [TS]

  my Casper mattress so join me please [TS]

  start sleeping ahead of the curve with [TS]

  Casper you can get fifty dollars towards [TS]

  select mattress purchases by visiting [TS]

  Casper com slash super trade and using [TS]

  the very special offer code supertrain [TS]

  at checkout terms and conditions apply [TS]

  our thanks to Casper for supporting [TS]

  Roderick on the line and all the great [TS]

  ships what you're unfolding this piece [TS]

  papers this our contract does it say how [TS]

  long we have to do this show forever ah [TS]

  let's move on to the next portion of the [TS]

  program which is some new bullshit we're [TS]

  making up I went on the internet earlier [TS]

  today and we should also warn people we [TS]

  will probably take questions from the [TS]

  audience after this hangout afterwards [TS]

  do not hang out much because you're all [TS]

  fucking gonna make me sick and I have to [TS]

  go home I have a podcast record in the [TS]

  morning and I still haven't taken my [TS]

  sleeping pill yeah don't talk or breathe [TS]

  on Merlin don't get close just way out [TS]

  know your being here is plenty but you [TS]

  can talk to me I'll stick around [TS]

  yeah but we're also gonna take question [TS]

  on my behalf I went on the internet this [TS]

  afternoon and I said to us as people [TS]

  that says I said Generation supertrain [TS]

  is there a topic from Roderick on the [TS]

  line for which you'd like to hear John [TS]

  Roderick provide an update 98 percent of [TS]

  them said GMC RV I bet Jim CRV is on the [TS]

  list all right we have not prepared we [TS]

  unless you've seen some of this listener [TS]

  Sean in of Seattle [TS]

  we're like safar he says his the thing [TS]

  the thing about Jews listener Sean n [TS]

  Sean in from Seattle asks what's the [TS]

  thing about junina there's no what's [TS]

  just the thing about Jews I think he [TS]

  wants you to follow up on the thing [TS]

  about Jesus what you want to do I think [TS]

  another question cuz I do this did I do [TS]

  something that I do bits on Jews that [TS]

  doesn't seem like me you know I'm a [TS]

  Judea file and that's a that's difficult [TS]

  to say I don't think they like to be [TS]

  filed [TS]

  they enlists do not turn off soon [TS]

  listener John not this John listener [TS]

  John and many other people let's be [TS]

  honest currents that if you want to say [TS]

  in as much as you're comfortable and [TS]

  legally obligated to say what is the [TS]

  current status of the GMC RP the GMC RV [TS]

  is under a tarp because out of respect [TS]

  it's under a tarp because we're in the [TS]

  rainy season in Seattle and it is easier [TS]

  to de tarp if I it when I want when [TS]

  there's a sunny day than it is to [TS]

  dehumidifier it I like the way it smells [TS]

  yeah well I know it smells great but [TS]

  it's just like if it if it sits in the [TS]

  rain for two-and-a-half miles then you [TS]

  have that it's kind of like grandma's [TS]

  old Underpants and look magazines you [TS]

  know you want to flip through them but [TS]

  not a lot I do not know no but mildew is [TS]

  that ablest mildew it's it's it's got a [TS]

  certain moist you're doing the [TS]

  international symbol of I love this wine [TS]

  oh it's guys there's so many things [TS]

  going on its own there's a lot of [TS]

  complexity in the mouthfeel I'm making [TS]

  that effluvium thing you're never [TS]

  supposed to just snort the chemicals [TS]

  you're supposed to get in a flu VM right [TS]

  right a flu viim yeah [TS]

  RV is that a good RV a nice RV feels it [TS]

  should smell like things are wet that [TS]

  the exhaust is routed through the [TS]

  dashboard [TS]

  it should smell like someone's been [TS]

  living there for a year with a cat like [TS]

  it should smell like you've been frying [TS]

  fish in there since the 70s like all [TS]

  these things mix together to get this [TS]

  like odor RV and you know mine has that [TS]

  of course like it's like I have to do is [TS]

  smell the curtains and you get the whole [TS]

  experience but I just don't want their [TS]

  tunes are very rustic yeah there's an [TS]

  example this is original curtains and [TS]

  the thing about the RV is it has [TS]

  curtains and louvers so you can really [TS]

  exclude the outside world but you know [TS]

  the back window is this if it's like [TS]

  scenic picture window you can back up on [TS]

  you can go on the Pacific Coast Highway [TS]

  back up to one of those cliffs and wake [TS]

  up in the morning to the to the breakers [TS]

  and the seagulls and the oil derricks [TS]

  out there just leaking into the sea and [TS]

  the smell that's curtains but uh but I [TS]

  carped it it's in the backyard the [TS]

  problem was I drove it around the block [TS]

  in preparation to back it in because it [TS]

  was parked like this and I needed to go [TS]

  around the block in order to have the [TS]

  right angle to back it into its spot in [TS]

  front of the barn to be tarped also does [TS]

  a kind of a good idea to get all the [TS]

  things in motion one last time's right [TS]

  so doesn't all just kind of freeze up in [TS]

  the same place forever and 300 yards [TS]

  from its from its eventual berth in [TS]

  drydock everything shut down the power [TS]

  went off the engine quit and I was like [TS]

  I didn't have enough forward momentum to [TS]

  just roll up to the house I was like I [TS]

  was not even a block away and I had to [TS]

  call triple-a who had to come they don't [TS]

  like that they like being called in [TS]

  their biggest wrecker and it's one of [TS]

  those records that has that has more [TS]

  more like rollers and flashing lights [TS]

  and spotlights on the side than the than [TS]

  the main shipping as you can't turn off [TS]

  it just looks like the Close Encounters [TS]

  ship as it turns upside down it's just [TS]

  like lights everywhere and all that [TS]

  neighbors came out to see what was going [TS]

  on and that and the wrecker was blocking [TS]

  the tow truck so the one neighbor that [TS]

  really needs his mail was really upset [TS]

  and I kept saying it the when the mail [TS]

  truck gets here I'm gonna explain [TS]

  to the mailman and he was pacing and [TS]

  then so I had to I couldn't even monitor [TS]

  the towing I know you didn't crowd [TS]

  manage I had to be in the back like [TS]

  everything's fine everyone it's cool [TS]

  don't worry I'm looking for the postman [TS]

  and then I saw the the the mailman [TS]

  coming from a half a mile away and had [TS]

  to watch as he stopped at each mailbox [TS]

  which is what they do [TS]

  yeah like this this slow motion [TS]

  anticipation of this was their concern [TS]

  that he would just go around it this guy [TS]

  was pacing I'm not getting out of this [TS]

  he didn't want to talk to the guy and so [TS]

  it's just as like slow-mo thing of like [TS]

  come on I just got a 30-second thing I [TS]

  need to tell you about this guy's mail [TS]

  and he's just like and he's taking his [TS]

  time he's sorting through all the [TS]

  circulars he's put in the safe way he [TS]

  knows what he's doing neighbors upset [TS]

  but he doesn't have to be the one to [TS]

  talk about him the time the tow truck [TS]

  guy and this guy over here with this [TS]

  yeah and so fun but finally the tow [TS]

  truck guy backed it into the to the in [TS]

  front of the barn I tarped it and what [TS]

  it is right now is a problem for the [TS]

  future yeah what I think it's an [TS]

  opportunity what I like to LeDoux as I [TS]

  walk past it and I go March problem [TS]

  mm-hmm that's a problem for March and [TS]

  when March arrives it's gonna have come [TS]

  a lot sooner than I expect I love the [TS]

  item want to take you off this I love [TS]

  the idea of the March problem it's a [TS]

  March problem oh that's a March problem [TS]

  yeah that is not a November problem it [TS]

  is not a anywh a problem itself March [TS]

  jesus take the wheel I'm not gonna think [TS]

  about this for two months it's just yeah [TS]

  when it's time it might be time I'm not [TS]

  saying it's an August problem no no not [TS]

  that good and the thing about King [TS]

  Neptune I'm still King Neptune yes till [TS]

  June with all rights therein - that's [TS]

  right and and that's a June problem when [TS]

  I get that's it like it this is a venti [TS]

  I'm me I'm not I'm not blowing smoke up [TS]

  your skirt this is a good thought [TS]

  technology the March problem you've [TS]

  already you've got it you figure out [TS]

  where the problem goes you've got you [TS]

  guys got a little Filofax for where it's [TS]

  gonna go for for your calendar and when [TS]

  March come not today not today like [TS]

  Addie [TS]

  like at one of those [TS]

  like at one of those [TS]

  railroad crossing things yeah the the [TS]

  Bell starts sounding and the lights [TS]

  start flashing a long time before the [TS]

  arm drops yeah and you know that's [TS]

  that's basically how you approach a [TS]

  March problem like yellow light yellow [TS]

  light March evening and there's March [TS]

  and are you gonna get there before the [TS]

  beginning you just before March is done [TS]

  I feel like the reason it's a March [TS]

  problem is that you get your RV ready in [TS]

  March for what is ultimately your April [TS]

  adventure so you're getting your March [TS]

  problems are really your April [TS]

  adventures it's just like your much pop [TS]

  your April adventure yeah you're you're [TS]

  you're you're May flowers bring June [TS]

  showers or whatever it is yeah your [TS]

  March problems are April adventures and [TS]

  you need to you know it's all got its [TS]

  its dominoes all the way down right yes [TS]

  doesn't affect it's yeah right because [TS]

  your April your April adventures yes are [TS]

  your May gratifications but you can [TS]

  still have April problems [TS]

  you can have May adventures if you're [TS]

  gonna have a and I have January problems [TS]

  sure yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a lot of [TS]

  my March problems come from being like [TS]

  November probably yeah I think I keep [TS]

  thinking about is just even more like [TS]

  I'm not a car guy I'm not a transit guy [TS]

  I'm not a person who likes motion but [TS]

  like I just keep coming back to the [TS]

  fuckin clubhouse clubhouse like it wants [TS]

  to be a clubhouse but like so that the [TS]

  moisture and the distinctive odor does [TS]

  that come from like one big hole or from [TS]

  a million tiny cracks so a lot of the [TS]

  thing about think about an RV is it's [TS]

  too it's too long to handle torsion oh [TS]

  it's an engineering problem yeah so when [TS]

  you when you make a thing this long and [TS]

  then you put it on the road where it's [TS]

  going both up and down and side to side [TS]

  it's got twisting forces it's like a [TS]

  subway six-foot sub like there's gonna [TS]

  be some turning and there's gonna be [TS]

  motion it's a material science problem [TS]

  there's just nothing that is flexible [TS]

  and also sturdy extend [TS]

  or perhaps somebody in here without 3d [TS]

  printers going of the I beg to differ I [TS]

  have I have created a polliver [TS]

  but in yeah the 3d printing community [TS]

  they're the worst in 1977 when this [TS]

  thing was built out of used Corvette [TS]

  parts what they did was they just like [TS]

  zipped it together like you would an [TS]

  IKEA thing alright but they had they had [TS]

  like rubber covers yeah [TS]

  and so everything everything that one [TS]

  1978 no one's it from like 77 77 it's as [TS]

  old as Star Wars yeah I bet they never a [TS]

  god bless them the people in that [TS]

  community I don't think they ever [TS]

  intended that thing to still be around [TS]

  now though they did that cave people [TS]

  they're all aeronautical but the AGM or [TS]

  as I like to call them go-go-go monkeys [TS]

  let's just take the temperature of the [TS]

  room how many people in here were born [TS]

  before 1977 that is a very small [TS]

  proportion of the people in here just [TS]

  for comparison's sake how many people [TS]

  were born after 1977 [TS]

  [Applause] [TS]

  so this GMC RV is sweet my daughter said [TS]

  you know do you know anyone who's older [TS]

  than you I've met people who are living [TS]

  that other than me I've got I've got a [TS]

  friend who's over 55 this thing is this [TS]

  it's the equivalent of a Bugatti to us [TS]

  like how the hell how do you keep and [TS]

  keep this thing on the road but yeah but [TS]

  so all the little every time that [TS]

  someone at GM drilled a hole into that [TS]

  fiberglass in order to put a light or a [TS]

  mirror or a piece of chrome or a antenna [TS]

  or anything yeah every one of those [TS]

  things is now thinking to itself I'd [TS]

  like to just wither and turn into a hole [TS]

  rather than be a sealed like it's it's [TS]

  as you get older your sphincter just [TS]

  gets yes [TS]

  you know what also but it's also a [TS]

  torsion because because torsion would [TS]

  there's two things that every engineer [TS]

  knows about torsion it's cool and it's [TS]

  patient right so that's the thing about [TS]

  torsion torch and everything seems to be [TS]

  fine everything's copacetic everything's [TS]

  planning on Fletch it it's not like [TS]

  studs or shooting out of the wall right [TS]

  like it's gonna be very subtle it's [TS]

  gonna be a little bit of what give me [TS]

  some airplane motions you got Hugh you [TS]

  got cry [TS]

  yeah he got ya geeky and holiday right [TS]

  right you got Yanni yo D you got yoni in [TS]

  lingo lingo that's right guy yeah the [TS]

  guy yeah all the different ways that a [TS]

  plane can move in space some of them are [TS]

  in all three of the dimensions and [TS]

  that's a lot like what happens with the [TS]

  the materials problem of a GMC RV it's [TS]

  very very long right and so but the [TS]

  stresses are gonna be very subtle right [TS]

  in patient well like maybe by the time [TS]

  of Empire Strikes Back everything was [TS]

  still really great you get up to the [TS]

  time of Return of the Jedi some of the [TS]

  studs are getting a little bit curious [TS]

  about what where else they could be [TS]

  going right there are a lot of people in [TS]

  the audience who were born in 1987 and [TS]

  one day time is gonna make 1987 look [TS]

  like 1967 yeah and that's when you're [TS]

  gonna find the material science that [TS]

  went into building you also starts due [TS]

  to torsion and Gaia and come make it so [TS]

  that your sealants and your your your [TS]

  seals right also start to lose their [TS]

  elasticity [TS]

  yeah regardless of how much DeJohn you [TS]

  get into the yoni you're still gonna be [TS]

  a little bit of yo in the lingo that's [TS]

  right and you're gonna be your and it's [TS]

  gonna be resistance from the hue the hue [TS]

  and the cry so you got the we got the [TS]

  storm over here you got the drag over [TS]

  there [TS]

  1977 yep right and so right now the GMC [TS]

  ERV like you all and like me mm-hmm [TS]

  right now as it all happened to us at [TS]

  one point we're gonna end up tarped in [TS]

  front of somebody's barn [TS]

  and the GMC RV got there first [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  eventually they'll need to make room and [TS]

  you'll be tarped outside the barn I want [TS]

  to turn you won't be talking it's gonna [TS]

  be a wet old RV and nobody can even open [TS]

  the door anymore I love you grandpa [TS]

  I I want to turn it into a clubhouse you [TS]

  know I'd be a clubhouse you get a [TS]

  dehumidifier [TS]

  I got a dehumidifier I got one for home [TS]

  I got one for the office I never looked [TS]

  back you put it in there it'll suck the [TS]

  shit yeah but it's the Scottish Castle [TS]

  problem which is yeah every time I open [TS]

  Sunset magazine I see one of those tiny [TS]

  houses yeah and I think I want to put a [TS]

  tiny house in my backyard [TS]

  yeah as a yoga studio or as a Zumba [TS]

  whatever that is studio or as it's [TS]

  called limited motion Zumba yeah I guess [TS]

  the very calm music and you make very [TS]

  small motions I'll have a stand-up desk [TS]

  and I'll do my architecture there [TS]

  whatever it is but then I remember I [TS]

  don't have any more friends than my [TS]

  daughter and my her mother and my mother [TS]

  and sister okay I don't want anyone [TS]

  living around me I don't want people [TS]

  waking me up in the morning my feet [TS]

  don't borrow my bucket that's right and [TS]

  so my buck you don't fill my bucket [TS]

  don't do anything with my bucket what [TS]

  part of me wants to put an apartment in [TS]

  my yard [TS]

  Oh yard apartment would be so bad it [TS]

  will be boss but who would I put in [TS]

  there what if you just going to go look [TS]

  at a map really nice no no I don't mean [TS]

  like a Rand McNally map like what if you [TS]

  had a really good fucking historical map [TS]

  and you could pull open the door and you [TS]

  go in there you got your stuff safely [TS]

  what if I would be in that thing all [TS]

  that well I told you about how I used to [TS]

  live in the Attic alive when I was a kid [TS]

  yeah it'd be the same thing for me would [TS]

  be like looking in attics epic that [TS]

  wheels that don't go anywhere I would be [TS]

  so into that except for the smell and I [TS]

  get the dehumidifier okay second problem [TS]

  all right [TS]

  and I think this is the main problem [TS]

  yeah the door and there's only one door [TS]

  to the GMC RV it does not help by its [TS]

  feature not a bug it has one door the [TS]

  door faces the house if the RV is nose [TS]

  in but I find [TS]

  nose in parking aesthetically unpleasing [TS]

  hmm I want rear in I want to [TS]

  back a vehicle in yeah I don't want to [TS]

  knows a vehicle in because we have to [TS]

  get away that's right yep when it's time [TS]

  to whenever see a cop go nose into a [TS]

  space at once and then they're dead so [TS]

  you don't you know we're always back in [TS]

  always back you don't want to be in a [TS]

  situation where you can't have a tarp [TS]

  and the thing doesn't move that's right [TS]

  back you back it in that way if you can [TS]

  also defend your perimeter that way if [TS]

  God forbid you had to defend against [TS]

  about the Steelers in the zombies and [TS]

  you had to be in the pilot of this great [TS]

  craft you would be able to conduct your [TS]

  turret gun with it for pointing out like [TS]

  a gentleman huh that's right and and the [TS]

  problem is if it's back in then the [TS]

  front door faces Patrick's yard now and [TS]

  Patrick's yard is full of but parts from [TS]

  his like sewer reconstruction business [TS]

  it's me it's not appealing I planted a [TS]

  hedge of photo but the sewer [TS]

  reconstruction business I have a hedge [TS]

  of photinia but it hasn't grown up [TS]

  enough and when it finally does I love [TS]

  that band and the hedge of photinia Oh [TS]

  God the shoegaze fans were so good at [TS]

  dream they open for mission to Burma [TS]

  that was really yeah go back to your [TS]

  list what else you got these are these [TS]

  are new leader this is real reader mail [TS]

  otherwise [TS]

  see yourself getting back in to it or is [TS]

  there a little voice do you have a [TS]

  little voice I bet you got a little bit [TS]

  this don't answer it I see you soon as [TS]

  you see you are being is a is an [TS]

  activity for someone just slightly older [TS]

  than me and maybe a little maybe [TS]

  significantly should wait you should [TS]

  wait and I you know when I got into it I [TS]

  thought I would go to these RV [TS]

  conventions and it'd be full like super [TS]

  foxy people who were all like like in [TS]

  the night you'd hear the doors open and [TS]

  people tiptoeing between RVs you know [TS]

  like I'm here like it was there was a [TS]

  whole I I hoped it was a community and [TS]

  in fact it's a community going this [TS]

  swing a little bit or something fun [TS]

  right but in the main way but like I got [TS]

  a nice clean bit of Swing yes it's [TS]

  sensual clean it's just healthy I mean [TS]

  you know that you're all in RVs you're [TS]

  not like weirdos you don't mind a little [TS]

  you know you don't mind a little mildew [TS]

  on the sill you know Sam but instead [TS]

  every everybody everybody in the RV [TS]

  community they're just in there painting [TS]

  Ronan Minh [TS]

  like they're not I imagine them making [TS]

  ships [TS]

  well ship making sure ships in bottles [TS]

  you mean it could be a bottle I don't [TS]

  know but I think they can fit ships and [TS]

  lots of different things I wouldn't [TS]

  constrain the imagination of a GMC RV [TS]

  owner I think they are tiptoeing between [TS]

  each other's RVs and having sex with [TS]

  each other [TS]

  but coital sex I think so but they are [TS]

  past their prime reproductive years and [TS]

  that [TS]

  you don't think it's just you don't [TS]

  think it's just finger-banging mostly [TS]

  now come on guys we're adults here I [TS]

  think wow I think it's here [TS]

  is there anyone under the person here [TS]

  the Janus person you're yelling at you [TS]

  think you're the youngest person here [TS]

  yell it out [TS]

  come on the other anything people who [TS]

  are teenagers here okay somebody over [TS]

  here was mouth breathing and that's a [TS]

  sign of being a teenager I think the [TS]

  oxley I scored very well I'm well won't [TS]

  migrate average I think there would be [TS]

  more female man except the two the [TS]

  capital C you're blasting the co here [TS]

  the copilot seat are about as far apart [TS]

  as these two seats you say you have to [TS]

  really be like making a big big right [TS]

  yeah but everything everything behind [TS]

  the cockpit converts from something to [TS]

  something else and that's just a dream [TS]

  space of imagination for the finger [TS]

  blaster in your life you could you could [TS]

  be sitting listen you could just hear me [TS]

  out you could be sitting there having a [TS]

  perfectly serviceable homemade meal at [TS]

  that table you flip the fucking table [TS]

  over your legs are up in the air and [TS]

  everybody's getting finger but right in [TS]

  the back in the back is that a bench [TS]

  sure it's a bench guess what I closed [TS]

  the door now it's a bedroom right in [TS]

  here in here come in here I had some [TS]

  french onion onion soup I go on a blast [TS]

  a tutor and guess what it turns it stuff [TS]

  on now it's a shower come on in full [TS]

  fingerblast this is a blast off from [TS]

  every zone in this place you should [TS]

  leave no surface on blasted it's a thing [TS]

  that we don't get I'm ready this fog up [TS]

  the fucking windows right in other [TS]

  countries there are bathrooms that that [TS]

  are small and turn into showers yeah and [TS]

  we don't have that very much in the [TS]

  United States but we mean it like in [TS]

  like a normal house in just your [TS]

  apartment right the bathroom is small [TS]

  and there's a drain in the floor and [TS]

  it's also a shower but I don't know if [TS]

  anyone in the room has ever taken a [TS]

  shower while you were also taking a shit [TS]

  but it's two different or are willing to [TS]

  admit it two different usages of the [TS]

  word take yeah and and neither one [TS]

  really the the normal one which is like [TS]

  to take to take a drink they both say [TS]

  that they're gonna leave they're gonna [TS]

  leave a shit you're gonna yeah [TS]

  you're gonna offer a shit but also like [TS]

  you're not it's not just that you're [TS]

  taking the shower right you're like it's [TS]

  called respecting the Royals yeah but [TS]

  it's a great experience I highly [TS]

  recommend it to everybody [TS]

  it's ATO like this really stands up with [TS]

  the sandwich during sex it's that same [TS]

  kind of thing if you could do more than [TS]

  one thing at a time in that bathroom [TS]

  shouldn't you you know just so many [TS]

  options [TS]

  it's already little bit of mildew smell [TS]

  oh it's like a meatball in the bathtub [TS]

  well when you told me there were balls I [TS]

  was all thinking about your table I have [TS]

  a desk I made up my own design oh won't [TS]

  you sign it with your tiny pen [TS]

  finger-blasting oh I could do this all [TS]

  night it's stop laughing or I will I'll [TS]

  scrape the mildew from your window see [TS]

  you come smell my drapes [TS]

  I would I would go to this show if you [TS]

  did just a one-man off-broadway thing [TS]

  where you just there's somebody in here [TS]

  one day is gonna accent be somewhere be [TS]

  a little bit high please listen to some [TS]

  of my programs and pretty girls make [TS]

  graves this song by the Smiths is gonna [TS]

  come on the radio and they're gonna have [TS]

  a lot of problems [TS]

  listener Matt how he says if we're going [TS]

  to join John and collecting Filson bags [TS]

  what's a good price range on eBay for a [TS]

  weekend sized Filson duffel bag and what [TS]

  was the best era of Filson bag years to [TS]

  look for answer any or all parts that [TS]

  you want a phony award-winner this is [TS]

  all gravy this is super difficult for me [TS]

  because I hate to be up to do like free [TS]

  advertising for this brand but I also [TS]

  feel like yeah I've kind of given myself [TS]

  this like they could do a lot more for [TS]

  you know you see me having a Filson bag [TS]

  right now they do a lot is reflective of [TS]

  my life I don't have a Phil sin bag [TS]

  the thing about this is the curious [TS]

  thing about Phil some bags for those of [TS]

  you who are curious they are not [TS]

  actually an old thing Filson made [TS]

  jackets and vests and shirts black pants [TS]

  and boots [TS]

  pants yeah and then in the 90s [TS]

  someone at the Filson company said what [TS]

  if we made luggage I thought that that [TS]

  person was going in surprise but in fact [TS]

  they were just preparing to cough and [TS]

  that is the appropriate reaction to this [TS]

  story it's very dull so anyway Matt Matt [TS]

  Howie when you're just a little bit [TS]

  lighter he's so good at GMC RVs here's [TS]

  what's my remember there was a time I [TS]

  had an anecdote about bags the bags at [TS]

  the time were quite unusual in the sense [TS]

  that they were neither particularly old [TS]

  or demonstrable inu and the frost of the [TS]

  anecdote was it there in light of the [TS]

  bargain but now I'm there was a band [TS]

  called the gits [TS]

  the kids did not have the bags I believe [TS]

  in yeah yeah I'm going to do my eBay [TS]

  store this year and I'm going to sell [TS]

  I'm going to sell my all listener Julie [TS]

  says what's up with the eBay store yeah [TS]

  I'm gonna sell so much stuff on there [TS]

  it's gonna be amazing if you are an [TS]

  extra large or know someone who is or [TS]

  one or or want to be like someone in the [TS]

  90s who's wearing clothes that were too [TS]

  big for them huh or you want some bags [TS]

  or you want some handed Ronan bags for [TS]

  the extra-large right where you want [TS]

  alike nesting dolls of different Russian [TS]

  premiers my eBay store is gonna be the [TS]

  thing for you and I think it's called I [TS]

  don't know what it's called you got a [TS]

  name on the account thing at some point [TS]

  is it super it was Morgan Morgan Morgan [TS]

  Morgan rides frickin hahaha that's it [TS]

  that's catchy [TS]

  yes good do you remember the story [TS]

  behind Morgan rides free uh tell me [TS]

  again when I was Freight hot I come up [TS]

  with some kind of clever URL that you [TS]

  could redirect Morgan rides for you URL [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  any town USA one two three four five [TS]

  when I was a teenager and I first [TS]

  started hopping freights there were [TS]

  still old men who wrote their handles in [TS]

  chalk or in charcoal on the trains [TS]

  they'd ridden like you know Bob's your [TS]

  uncle was you know like March for hope a [TS]

  little little Kilroy Was Here [TS]

  noses and stuff like that and I needed a [TS]

  handle and I didn't have a good one and [TS]

  it was before I could really brand [TS]

  things very well [TS]

  yeah I'm not still not very good at [TS]

  branding things hence the name of this [TS]

  Morgan my my middle name is Morgan it is [TS]

  I was super into riding free both free [TS]

  on these trains that don't cost money [TS]

  because you're I've been so much worse [TS]

  that could be so much shittier Roderick [TS]

  is blazed yeah and there are hobo [TS]

  handles like that like there are 420 [TS]

  who'll Tod 420 but but then and then I [TS]

  tried to shorten it to Murph [TS]

  MRF Murph like Murph and that wasn't [TS]

  good and RF MRF Murph earth it could be [TS]

  because it's icy it fix it fix it again [TS]

  Tony capital and lowercase U and then [TS]

  Morgan Morgan uber rides free and then [TS]

  and then some then I was in a like a [TS]

  briefly in a hip hop community where [TS]

  there was a lot of tagging going on and [TS]

  there was a suggestion that I needed a [TS]

  tag and so they they decided that my tag [TS]

  was eggs because I was an egghead and so [TS]

  I was eggs but and so the nose ox I know [TS]

  and then I saw a really really bad and I [TS]

  was out trying to tag things with a [TS]

  sharpie as like eggs to draw a [TS]

  photorealistic a the thing is that [TS]

  nice ones over medium much hit it [TS]

  through long if you look at the if you [TS]

  look at the history of tags and hip-hop [TS]

  you will see that the people don't use [TS]

  the letter G very often because it's not [TS]

  very smooth like there's not a cool [TS]

  smooth way to it's like trying to get [TS]

  the app switcher on your iPhone 10 yeah [TS]

  right like if you've got gesture like if [TS]

  you've got a spray can and you're doing [TS]

  a that's really nice like even a bee but [TS]

  like G kind of ends and so I started [TS]

  doing those G's that are like little [TS]

  circle big circle and kind of trying to [TS]

  make him look like eggs like a 14 year [TS]

  old girl yeah but then but then I [TS]

  realized that that was really egg headed [TS]

  of me and I was living up to my name [TS]

  that's right but there's no good we I [TS]

  need a lot of time for our D focusing on [TS]

  Suzie [TS]

  first of all does anybody have things [TS]

  that they would like to oh sure there [TS]

  are a lot of questions well I want to [TS]

  make sure I don't cut the scene but have [TS]

  things they would like to ask John this [TS]

  could be very very short oh well why [TS]

  don't we bring up the help well let me [TS]

  let me just maybe one more you pick you [TS]

  pick here's your options o listener [TS]

  Shannon wants to know how the house [TS]

  renovations are coming they're fine [TS]

  I thought for a while that I had bats [TS]

  are I had rats in the walls again and I [TS]

  couldn't figure out how they were [TS]

  getting in and then I realized I had [TS]

  bats no rats dispensed had bats in the [TS]

  Attic and they got in because one it's [TS]

  not Castle tats no it's bad it's bats [TS]

  and I and I realized that that Psalm [TS]

  when I asked him to plug the hole that I [TS]

  knew was next to the was next to the [TS]

  chimney psalm told me that he had but he [TS]

  hadn't because it's a real game of [TS]

  whack-a-mole with song [TS]

  yes he's something fairly specific over [TS]

  here and he goes around the corner he's [TS]

  got a different thing yeah I didn't go [TS]

  up with the Tanners gutter ladders that [TS]

  it would take to get up there to say [TS]

  like no this hole and so he didn't plug [TS]

  in and now bats are coming in that's a [TS]

  good I don't think oh yeah did you find [TS]

  out where he peed Psalm no I think he [TS]

  peed in the feta nia over by a show of [TS]

  hands for anybody who doesn't okay [TS]

  listen here's the thing John had Psalm [TS]

  coming out to his house for about eight [TS]

  years he came out almost every day [TS]

  sometimes he wouldn't show up for six [TS]

  weeks song came out to his house as his [TS]

  contractor friend and companion it was [TS]

  kind of like a Green Hornet and Kato [TS]

  type situation show of hands [TS]

  psalm never peed the entire time he was [TS]

  ever at the house clapping I'm pretty [TS]

  cold on that that's good okay okay all [TS]

  right you know god bless you [TS]

  other show hands saw I'm just fuckin [TS]

  ruin that yard with P show of hands [TS]

  it just stands so easy no I don't think [TS]

  so [TS]

  you think there's something in his [TS]

  makeup at being ping-pong you see [TS]

  there's something about something says [TS]

  in this line you do not cross you do not [TS]

  pee on this on this territory you think [TS]

  he just knew I was respect [TS]

  it's like Henry Hill as a teenager psalm [TS]

  escaped from the killing fields of [TS]

  Cambodia and found his way we had to pee [TS]

  really bad his way through Thailand to [TS]

  my house to all the way to fixing my [TS]

  porch and and lying to me about the hole [TS]

  in the roof I'm pretty sure that Psalm [TS]

  can hold his pee for six hours but also [TS]

  the fact that I have bats and not rats [TS]

  is now inhibiting me adopting veto [TS]

  because vetoes that kind of kung-fu veto [TS]

  was a rat killer oh and oh this is this [TS]

  is how the cat the cat okay I don't know [TS]

  if you know this but it's illegal to [TS]

  kill bats in the United States [TS]

  you see illegal to kill bats in the [TS]

  United States that federal you can't I [TS]

  see USC type situation does anybody know [TS]

  what laws or a battle here [TS]

  to the appellate court Robin I'm the [TS]

  real bat lawyer I'm not gonna bury [TS]

  another bat lawyer uh we should get to [TS]

  the questions there was a second there [TS]

  was a big request actually from a guest [TS]

  of yours hears that you talk about the [TS]

  Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie [TS]

  but we probably don't have time for that [TS]

  the person the the thing when you said [TS]

  what should we talk about was you they [TS]

  wanted me to talk about that [TS]

  Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie [TS]

  listener 20:49 says honestly the only [TS]

  thing comes to mind was the airport John [TS]

  was about to give his opinion on the [TS]

  Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy movie [TS]

  before changing topics and never coming [TS]

  back to it we have a hard out at 9:30 [TS]

  right this is one of the that story The [TS]

  Hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy story [TS]

  is one of the real long tale Roderick on [TS]

  the line stories it's gonna come back [TS]

  eventually okay we'll come back to that [TS]

  well we should we should probably you [TS]

  know might like my wife and daughter are [TS]

  reading that right now are they it's a [TS]

  wonderful book it's a very good book I [TS]

  get to the third book it's not funny [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  all right I want to take questions [TS]

  because I know there are some [TS]

  enthusiastic ones yeah but Mike or [TS]

  should we no no just yell oh that was [TS]

  gone I there's a lot of turnover in the [TS]

  neighborhood no I have never had the [TS]

  house that I still I did LSD in college [TS]

  and it was a bad idea and then I did LSD [TS]

  again and again and I said it so much of [TS]

  the LSD and I really regret it cuz [TS]

  there's times when I have things [TS]

  happening in my life that I think are [TS]

  real and that was a lot like that day [TS]

  with the Chinese food but I was there [TS]

  yeah you say you were there that's true [TS]

  this is exactly what I expect from Lucy [TS]

  I feel like they went back back to Alpha [TS]

  Centauri yeah how the hell if not having [TS]

  a lobster on that you know what they did [TS]

  they were like we need to learn to make [TS]

  tea and then we come back I think well I [TS]

  think what they said is like let's chow [TS]

  let's just kind of float this on a [TS]

  couple obviously this place is going to [TS]

  be a training ground for teaching Grey's [TS]

  she kind of mostly pretend right that [TS]

  they that they that their normals hence [TS]

  the looks anybody else have another [TS]

  question anyone it's okay if you don't [TS]

  don't [TS]

  or you know ma'am there on the side does [TS]

  John have a favorite piece of hate mail [TS]

  and if so what is it well just thinking [TS]

  about that eyelid this is not asked to [TS]

  meet you rating yeah no go ahead there's [TS]

  new kind of favorite genre I think I [TS]

  think this is a spin-off of Twitter as a [TS]

  genre and my new favorite is just when [TS]

  anybody is such a fan of what I do that [TS]

  they take the time to reach out to me [TS]

  for the first time with a grievance and [TS]

  a hostility and it's just it's so nice [TS]

  to find out that somebody is a fan it's [TS]

  not even it's not even a shit sandwich [TS]

  is the shit shit which of just how [TS]

  terribly disappointed they are such a [TS]

  fan for 15 years and really I just can't [TS]

  even anymore that's a nice that's a nice [TS]

  Jean Ron it's nice to disappoint people [TS]

  you haven't met yet and then find out [TS]

  later my favorite piece of email [TS]

  actually was generated here in San [TS]

  Francisco [TS]

  oh by I know in fact I think you were so [TS]

  proud I think it was Sacramento it [TS]

  actually came from because I [TS]

  hi I played a show with the with my band [TS]

  the long winters at the independent a [TS]

  club here and yeah that was that right [TS]

  and that was the show where I came out [TS]

  at the beginning of the show playing [TS]

  like a big electric guitar soul which we [TS]

  usually save for the end of the show and [TS]

  in the course of playing my dramatic [TS]

  excellent guitar solo I fell backwards [TS]

  over my amplifier into a hole created by [TS]

  drums and amplifier part no stage area [TS]

  yeah there were some cars back there [TS]

  which I landed on breaking one in half [TS]

  and then still the band kept playing cuz [TS]

  they know what to do when you say it [TS]

  happened in slow motion [TS]

  it doesn't really capture how long it [TS]

  took for this to happen it was not an [TS]

  easy fall it was not like a dead wood [TS]

  help me with my fall fall this is more [TS]

  like it's like crunch with my feet oh [TS]

  the only thing visible is my feet up in [TS]

  the air but from behind they call that [TS]

  the annual exam I can I continued to [TS]

  solo and then flopped over climbed up [TS]

  got back to the front of the stage still [TS]

  playing guitar the band was still [TS]

  playing I was like yeah right and at [TS]

  that time I had really long hair and I [TS]

  was missing a front tooth as you do and [TS]

  I got a letter from a woman who said I [TS]

  am a really big fan of your band I [TS]

  really love your record when I pretend [TS]

  to fall this is the first time I ever [TS]

  son came to see you play reaching out [TS]

  and you had so little respect for the [TS]

  audience to come out so stinking drunk [TS]

  at which point you know and this at this [TS]

  point I had been sober 17 years sit [TS]

  still very disrespectful and then she [TS]

  said and you proceeded to play every [TS]

  song different from the album and you [TS]

  did all this talking about God no [TS]

  chemtrails and whatever else [TS]

  and like why didn't you just put on a [TS]

  professional show I'm really [TS]

  disillusioned what did you say well I [TS]

  was like that's the show what's in the [TS]

  show is in the shows it's true [TS]

  okay one more yeah okay we got a gal [TS]

  question somebody that really feel [TS]

  strong [TS]

  Oh album coming that's great that's [TS]

  great thank you I really I really was [TS]

  hoping someone would ask more question [TS]

  that is not one that's trying to kill me [TS]

  yes [TS]